The Infinites - The Dork Knight (Comedy, Supers - Dead)-OOC

[Talchyon]

With thanks to The First Galactic Republic for the concept, for certain characters, the first thread, much of the wording on this post, and for granting me permission to take over...

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THE INFINITES: THE DORK KNIGHT - OOC

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IC| DISCORD (New)

(Oh. And, if for some reason you were wanting to see hilarity and funny stuff of previous arcs of the Infinites, check them out HERE with the ORIGINAL GO-ROUND, and HERE for the first arc of mine, The Infinites: The Lamest Heroes), and HERE for the space arc, The Infinites: And Beyond!

Our previous arc, The Infinites: The Lamest Heroes received this award!

WINNER OF THE BEST OF P2TM 2016 AWARDS FOR COMEDY ROLE-PLAY GAME

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COMMUNITY CHOICE WINNERS

ROLE PLAY GAMES

COMEDY ROLE PLAY GAME
Winner - Community Choice Award For Comedy Role Play Game: "The Infinites - the Lamest Heroes", ICOOC

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The world of the Infinites is full of excitement and danger. Costumed supervillains wielding great and terrible power run rampant. Crime continues to plague society. Rising to face these dangers are the Infinites. A national organization of superheroes who have vowed to use their superhuman powers for truth, justice, and the American way, the Infinites fight for the common man. They have saved the day countless times from all kinds of evils. The Infinites are real life superheroes. This story is about their adventures... sort of...

See, the other, some-would-say-more powerful Infinites teams? The ones who fight nefarious evil all across the entire country, and sometimes even the world? You've got teams of the greatest superheroes known to man, such as the West Coast Infinites which was the original, but also teams such as the Midwest Infinites, the Pacific Northwest Infinites, the Canadian Infinites, the Quebec Infinites, the Texas Infinites, the Southern Infinites - all of them powerful, saving the lives of countless people, defeating earth-shattering enemies, having their own comic books which gives them a nice steady source of income and revenue...

Our guys aren't these guys. Meet the heroes of our story, the Minnesota Infinites. The ninth or tenth greatest team of superheroes in the country. They are not A-listers, or B-listers, or even C-listers. But they still have days of saving the country. So long as the other superheroes are all busy. And as long as the bad guys aren't that hard to fight. And as long as they can survive their own ineptitude. They may not get good press, or any press, and they may not have their own line of action figures or corporate sponsorships, but they are heroes who truly care about justice. Mostly. Probably...

Welcome to the Infinites, a superhero RP that is kind of a mix of a comedic slice of life RP, as well as an action story - kind of - for superheroes. Players are members of the illustrious (ok, who are we kidding? They're illustrious because a streetlight was shining on them one evening that was particularly bright) Minnesota Infinites, based in the town of Orient, Minnesota, population 2,000. Now that you're a member there's not much of a point hiding it. You're not here because you're the best and brightest. The Slipstreams and Nightshades and Atomic Avengers of the world don't end up with the Minnesota Infinites. You're not getting a comic book based on you. You don't get to be on Oprah, or even The View. No dying child wishes to see you. None the less you're here anyways. Why? Because you care about justice? Because you want to be transferred to an Infinites group with career opportunities? Because your powers are too nightmarish for the public -that is, if the public has nightmares about things like super powered dental floss or the ability to only kill yaks at 900 yards with mind bullets? Because you're a genuine screw up? No matter what you're here now, and it's your job to protect the innocent people of Minnesota from evil. And maybe other places too. Orient, MN, sometimes can become a pretty dangerous place too. If, by "danger," you mean, something a lot less dangerous than most normal people define the term by. Because you know, every villain wants to take over Minnesota.

This RP is a farcical and comedic setting. It largely parodies more serious superhero works, and of course features characters more silly than what you'd see in most comics. In other words this is a far cry from X-Men or Justice League. Still there's room for character interaction and development. The desire to be respected and appreciated, and to have a chance to move up in life, is relatable to everyone. The plight of the tenth chair violinist. Of the first day intern. Of the friend who never gets to decide where the group goes. We all know what that's like to some extent. This story is about that feeling in superheroes. While all the cool Infinites get the big league villains and the alien invasions, you're stuck with the small town traffic incidents and the 'just-as-lame' super villains no one else wants to bother fighting. A story about the less famous characters of a superhero universe.

Do you want to move up in life? Do you want to save the day and have the country worship you? Do you want your own action figure? Your own Comic Book? Your own picture on a cereal box? Your own Nobel Peace Prize? Do you want to be the hero of the story? Well everyone has to start somewhere right? Of course there's genuine evil in this otherwise colorful setting. Maybe, just maybe, the world will have to turn to the Minnesota Infinites... you know if all the cool superheroes just up and leave or something.


Da Rules:

1. Fun is mandatory. If fun is not being had than please report for reassignment.

2. Bonuses for any time IC you can use a real superhero name from comics or movies, but not in referring to a person. (Ex. "That would be super, man.") Bonus points have absolutely zero value and cannot be traded in for better advantages.

3. Comedic as this setting is, remember not to let things go past PG.

4. No godmodding, cheating, or meta-gaming. You probably know the drill. However, due to the nature of this RP, this may be excused if the result is hilarious...

5. Superheroes who fail to be memorable won't be remembered.

6. Profanity is not welcome. You don't see it in the comics. It won't be here either. That also goes for things that appear like profanity, including substituting a "u" for a "v", or a "u" for a "oo". It doesn't fly here. However, if you must indicate that your character uses profanity, do it how the comics do. "@&*#!" is fine.

7. This will be more of a railroad RP than a sandbox, but there will be some sandbox elements. A sandy railroad, perhaps... In the past, it seems like those arcs that left a lot of characters dangling on their own, not interacting, each going their own way - those didn't work. The arcs that have worked? We've been in it more together. And we as players tried to post frequently. We are a team... the greatest team of lame D-level superheroes the world has ever not really known.

8. No characters will be welcome who are too powerful. If you want your character to be powerful, you need to join another superhero RP. This is only for the lamest of the lame.

9. Characters from the former "Infinites" threads who want to re-apply sure can. Otherwise, just type in and say you're in, and keeping the character that was already sent in earlier. If you want to change your app, this is a fine time to do it. New characters and new players are always welcome.

10. If you apply and get accepted, but then go inactive (defined as being whatever the OP thinks is inactive), UNLESS you go inactive with permission (e.g., holiday break away from the internet), your character will be confiscated. Most times, the running gag for the Infinites is that your character has now become a tour guide. Oh, and sometimes, if you're inactive for awhile and then post, certain characters will notice your character becoming "staticky", like your character is ceasing to be alive. Or the character becomes an NPC, and will probably be the first characters attacked. IN OTHER WORDS, if you like your character, stay active.

11. This is a big one. IT"S FINE TO JUMP IN AND CREATE A NEW CHARACTER MIDWAY THROUGH. Just realize, we at the Infinites have kind of another running gag that we like. And that is, your character will have been with either the Infinites or Villains the entire time of the arc, even though you as a player may not know what's going on. Ask us. We'll tell you. I'll try to keep a rolling plot summary going too.

TO APPLY, FILL OUT ONE OF THESE NICE FORMS BELOW

Code: Select all

Name:
Codename:
Age:
Sex:
Appearance:
Bio:
Powers:
RP sample:
[hr][/hr]

(Things in parentheses are OOC. The rest of this is IC. A form for your character to answer.)

Describe your abilities:
Why did you become a superhero:
What are your goals for the future:
(Why is this character with the Minnesota Infinites. In other words, why do they kind of suck?):
How would you describe your talents?:
(What about your character's talents make them a D-lister?)
What are your strengths?:
What are your weaknesses?:
(Any other flaws? Maladjusted personality? Social issues? Unmarketable aspects?):
Why should you if given the opportunity be allowed to advance in the Infinites?:
(Why does the press hate or ignore you?):

Code: Select all

Name:
Codename:
Age:
Sex:
Appearance:
Biography:
Powers:
RP sample:
[hr][/hr]
[i](Answer this as if you were speaking as your villain) - [/i]
Describe your abilities:
Why did you turn to crime:
Why did you further become a supervillain:
How do you feel about the Infinites:
What's your end goal:
You've captured the hero/heroine, what happens now:
Do you plan out your monologues or do they just sort of happen:
Let's hear a sample of your evil laugh (the noise you'd make when your plan is succeeding):
Let's hear a sample of your evil roar (the noise you make when your plan is failing):
Any lines you won't cross:
Would you prefer an archenemy, or would you rather just drift around from rogues gallery to rogues gallery:

Need help thinking of a lame superpower? Try out the "silly" powers on this site. Or talk to Talchyon, the OP. He may have a suggestion you might like.




Credit to New Grestin for image shown above.

[Talchyon]

STORY CHAPTERS

Chapters from The Infinites - The Dork Knight! The current arc

- Please wait patiently as the IC page has not yet started. When it starts, this will be updated. Thank you for your patience. This has been a recording...-

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Previous arcs

Chapters from The Infinites - And Beyond! (Read just for fun, or to see what happened before... Knowing this is not needed to play in this current arc)
Chapter 1 - A New Challenge
Chapter 2 - A Whole New Alien World
Chapter 3 - Chapter in a Post



Chapters from The Infinites - The Lamest Heroes (- a former arc. Read just for fun, or to see what happened before... Again, knowing this is not needed to play in this current arc)
Chapter 1 - The Bomb Squad and Cattle Rustlers
Chapter 2 - Big fight down in Tech Warehouse super-center.
Chapter 3 - The Schemes of Mr. Big

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CAST

Accepted Active Player Characters (PCs)
PC Heroes:

• (Hero - The Last Abode of Pando) Ed and Aesculapius Johnson no aka yet - Two heads are sometimes better than one. With an alien spork to boot.
• (Hero - Zjaum) Auburn Lincoln aka Princess Goldilocks - 7'5, Bronzed skin and jet black hair. Also apparently has bladder problems. Likes hugs. Which sometimes contributes to the bladder problems.
• (Hero - Xah) Alan Jenkins aka, no real aka. (But I think I'm going to call him, "La Chalupa"). Some might call it a curse. Well, in fact, Alan calls it a curse. But turning into a Mexican rodeo cowboy, complete with accompanying mariachi band, even though he doesn't really have any of the skills of said cowboy, may actually end up not impressing any horses.
• (Sidekick - Whalestron) Sarah Osborne, aka "You. Intern Girl". - Makes coffee in both caff and decaf. Answers the phone (for all those massive amounts of distress calls coming in... yeah, right, who am I kidding). The Go-fer but also probably has more common sense than everyone else in the Minnesota Infinite organization.
• (Hero - Barapam) Irina Borisova aka "Space Bear" - Let's just say that she would excel at the Russian version of Trivial Pursuit - Baby Boomers' edition. Plus, she can survive the rigors of space - which she is unlikely to see in Orient.
• (Hero - Zjaum) Miles Peterson aka "Staple Remover Guy" - Master of at least one office supply.

PC Active Villains (or Anti-Heroes)

• (Villain - The Last Abode of Pando) Florida Man, many akas - The mild crime lord of Orient, Minnesota - based on real facts! As real as the newspapers get, anyways.
• (Villain - Zjaum) Henry "Hot Air" Hinshaw aka "Blimp Man". Just your average, hero-turned-villain with hot or cold shoulders, who willingly lives in a hole. Oh. And finger-rockets, too!
• (Villain - Whalestron) Nikoli Tesolav aka Commie Bear (at least that's what I call him). Thees ees Roossian teddy bear, weeth aymayzeeng arsaynahl of fineest Sovieeet weapohns aneeewayhare.
• (Villain - Ebwaino) Alexander "Alex" Jarrin aka Little Comador. The paranoid, psychotic, son-of-dictator-of-some-country-you-never-studied-in-geography-class, whose ability with wood may take your breath away - and make his hand hot at the same time. With henchmen!
• (Villain - Barapam) Adictivas, no "aka's". It's not a syndicated villainous symbiote that is synonymous with 'Poison.' (Really, we don't want any copyright infringement issues with any major comic book companies). But this sentient tar is snugly attached to Irina the "Space Bear", and so just as you would think, can do lots of things that normal everyday sentient tar can do.
• (Villain - New Castillan Empire) Carl O'Cleary aka "The Mite". You never knew cartoons could be so twisted. Ok, maybe some of the cartoons you guys have seen. But I'm talking normal people. (See this post for where I gave permission for New Cast to use the character he started with in his alt).
• (Villain - Helowi) Jack Anderson aka "Jell-O". Because, of course a guy who can shoot a flavored gelatin dessert out of his eyes would be a villain.

Prominent Non-Player Characters
Prominent Non-Player Friends / Heroes (Friendly NPCS)

• Ned Wimbly, aka Captain Calculator (power - can shoot an unlimited supply of any kind of calculators at like a normal throwing speed for an average non super person. Where do these calculators come from, you ask? From an alternate reality that is only occupied by calculators and calculator generators. He's never going to run out, in other words).
• Coathangerman - No super powers. But he can thwack you with coathangers, and those really sting. Even the plastic ones.
• The Teetotaler - (power - Tea Manipulation, mild. Teetotaler can take any amount of existing tea, and use it to form solid weapons. However, the size of the weapon is limited to the amount of tea that Teetotaler has access to. Teetotaler can also form other solid things from the tea, such as parking passes.)
• Glitch- (powers: Uncontrollable Function Impairment, and controlled Stupidity Inducement with bungee-cord-rebound effect.)

Prominent Non-Player Villains (unfriendly NPCs)

• Doctor Bureaucracy! - Wrapping people up in red tape and triplicate forms that need notarizing...
• Diet Cola! When he gets angry, he fizzes.
• Ulterior Motive Man! - The villains met to have their weekly meetings in the basement of his mom's house. Where he still lives.
• More to Come!

Prominent "We're not sure what category they go in yet" Non-Player Characters

• Jerry - Recovering alcoholic. Meets in the Legion Hall room 1 Thursday night at 7 pm with the other Alcoholics Anonymous attendees. Passes on information from the bad guys to the Infinites.
• Lt. Col. Curl Ream - Commander of the 84th Airborn Paper Battalion, created sometimes by Ed. Fires paper missiles at both Infinites and villains, and bystanders.

The Dreaded INACTIVE List
(Hero - Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States) Gramaticus, Conqueror of Ignorance; (Hero - The Central Shadow Nation) Fruit Bat; (Hero - The Central Shadow Nation) Country Crock; (Hero - The Central Shadow Nation) Action-Man; (Hero staff, or sidekick - The Central Shadow Nation) James Ruth; (Hero - Danceria) url=https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=34003279#p34003279]Trance[/url]; (Hero - Nations United for Conquest); (Hero - Auphelia) Penny Parker aka "Mommy Dearest"; (Hero - The Dark Brotherhood of Deros) Joshua Finch aka The Bubblemancer; (Hero - Saxatoon) Oats Dudley, aka, "The Mootown Maniac"; Fletcher Dolan; (Villain - The Central Shadow Nation) Ugg; (Villain - Theocretes) Money Man; (Villain - Auphelia) [url=https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=33967713#p33967713]Sally Sherman aka 'that little girl'; (Villain - Tribe of Rinos) Jack Kraft aka The Big Cheese; (Villain - Rhodonite) Janice Dolby aka Starlett;(Villain - The Clockwork Cities) Sébastien Gérin-Lajoie aka "The Phantom Conductor";

[Talchyon]

Reserved

[Zjaum]

Halloo! Ready for the obligatorily gritty reboot!

[Auphelia]

Name: Penny Parker
Codename: Mommy Dearest
Age: 30(?) - 35(?) (She never says her age, but she has an 11 year old daughter, a 9 year old daughter, and an 8 year old boy after getting married at 18)
Sex: Female
Appearance:

Bio: She was born to an ordinary family in an ordinary suburb in an ordinary small town in ordinary Minnesota. However, she was anything but ordinary. Anything she did, she succeeded at with no problem. By the time she was seven months old she could walk and speak perfectly, but if she didn't want to do something it ended horribly. An example is potty training. I dare not go further into describing it lest I remember too much. Suffice it to say, their house was condemned shortly thereafter. She went on to be an excellent student, athlete, and artist, being able to do everything perfectly, making sure never to do anything she didn't want to do. There were several times when it was unavoidable, but as she was a minor the police dropped all charges and she just had to pay to repair Susie Q's back . . . and liver . . . and legs . . . and face . . . and blood.

She always did well in school, and ended up graduating several years early, allowing her to go to college and graduate with several degrees in the span of a few years, as she was able to learn everything perfectly, because she is perfect. However, on a trip back home to visit her parents she met Larry "Peter" Parker, known as Spyder Mann (no relation to the actual spider man, he just wanted to troll Marvel) with the ability to laugh in the face of copyright and intellectual property laws without legal repercussions. She and he had a whirlwind romance filled with passion, but then he decided to become a copyright lawyer in New York and dropped her quicker than a hot pan. She then settled for his overweight and balding older brother, Harry Parker, an accountant. For the past none-of-your-business years, she has been a perfect mother and wife, dealing with her hapless husband and her demonic children, keeping her life as perfect as possible, and slowly going insane because she has nothing else to release her vast intellect on than bake sales and making lunches for her children.
Powers: Domestic and Feminine Perfection
RP sample:

2985 BCE
The Banks of the Yellow River, Northern Central China
Indira Menon

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She stood in the middle of a field. Her feet and ankles were sinking into some kind of thick, clay like mud, a thin layer of water over it and dotted with densely packed small plants. Rice, perhaps? This seemed like what a rice paddy was, though seh had only ever seen them from a distance or on the internet. The gritty feel of the clay dug in between her toes and under her nails and she flexed her feet, digging in to the cool softness. Flies and mosquitoes buzzed around, and the rushing of water filled the air around her with a calming background noise. The sun beat down on her, and she looked up to see an azure sky, dotted with thin, wispy clouds. Cirrus, if she remembered correctly, was what they were called. They gently floated across the sky, making their way leisurely towards the horizon. She looked around and saw a few dozen women dotted around the field, bent over, picking out even smaller plants and tossing them into assorted baskets rhythmically. There was a pattern to it. Search, pluck, toss, repeat. When a basket, seemingly woven out of rushes and wide but shallow, was full, an apparently designated woman would take the full basket and begin to walk to the cross the paddy and past other women, who would continue doing their own work. The basket woman would reach the end of the field and keep going. The observer turned, watching as the woman walked across a wide, muddy bank, and then with a deft toss threw the contents of the basket into the river. Seemingly wide and flat, the beige river betrayed its true speed by quickly taking the weeds away. She watched this process for a time, none of the women looking away from their tasks long enough to notice her. This was a nice dream. Not one of her most interesting ones, but a pleasant way to spend her sleep. Certainly better than that horrifying clown from the other night.

The sun began to sink behind a tall hill, the tallest of the gentle slopes that dotted the western horizon. The paddy women began to straighten up, stretching their backs and their knees, letting the knots and cramps out. The basket woman began to collect them, ten baskets and all, for what appeared to be thirty women. They began to file off to the west, away from the river, when one woman saw her. With a cry the woman pointed at her, and all of the women turned their heads to see her. Several of the women smacked the shouting woman, seemingly chiding her for yelling at what was only a woman. Others murmured among themselves while staring at her and a few, the basket woman included, headed over to her, making their way through the thick mud. They plodded along, expertly making sure to not crush any of the plants. Eventually they made their way to her, and the two other women stood respectfully behind the basket woman, who she could see was only slightly younger than she was. The basket woman spoke, her voice strangely muted, her mouth not matching the sounds it was making. How odd that this woman would speak Hindi, but for some reason her brain was translating it as English.

"Who are you, strange woman? Why have you no clothes?"

A character in her dream was speaking to her. This most certainly hadn't happened before. Then again, her dreams had never seemed so realistic.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

"You are covered in the clay of the earth and standing in our rice fields, naked. Why are you here?"

"I'm not sure, dream character. Why am I here? And where is here?"

"Near . . ". A name came out of the woman's mouth, something indecipherable, when suddenly her voice went clear again, " . . . Village 1. Now answer my question, you try my patience. Who are you and why are you standing naked in our rice field?"

Naked? When she looked down she did indeed notice that she was naked. She had often heard that children dreamed they were naked at school, but had never had that experience herself. Normally she would be scrambling for cover, her mother's lessons from her youth to be ashamed of her body having permanently scarred her, but it was a dream, so it was fine.

"I am Indira, and I have come from-"

A mosquito bit her.

She felt pain.

She never felt pain in her dreams.

She began to notice other little discomforts. The way her thighs were rubbing together, her knees aching, the beads of sweat that matted the wisps of hair that framed her face onto her cheeks. This was real. Real. She was in a field, speaking with a Chinese(?) woman, in the middle of the day. Impossible. She locked her door and windows, she had nothing to fear. Had she been kidnapped? No, that couldn't be it. She had to be calm. Focus. Don't give into the hysteria. It was fine. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Calm. Okay. Assess.

You are alone in a rice field with around thirty women. They were probably weeding the rice fields. No advanced technology around, no cloud cover, no air planes, next to a river, naked, somehow able to understand the language of the natives. There are mosquitoes. Okay. This makes no sense. Just . . . calm . . . oh my goodness . . . . okay . . . calm. Breath in, out. In, out. Ugh, that never works. Stupid method. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Just play along. Then find a phone and call for help. Yes. Call for help. Get to wherever they live. Why is she staring at me? Right, respond. Don't faint. Breathe.

"I am Indira, and I have come from a village far from here. I got robbed by a group of men, and they took everything. Um . . . are you headed back to your house now? May I join you?"

The woman looked at Indira suspiciously, but given her advanced age and the fact that she was a woman the basket woman did not seem to deem her a threat. The wrinkles around the woman's face, leathery from years working in the sun, released, relaxing as she let down her guard. She gestures at the woman who holds her baskets and the woman bows and hands them to her.

"Yes. You may come back with us, elder. We will take you to . . . Chieftain . He and the council will judge you and determine if you may stay. Why have you come here?"

That was a good question. Why was she here? There was no logical explanation, there was no way this was a dream, and she was pretty sure that if she was crazy it would feel far less real. Something was at work here, something beyond her. Perhaps there truly were higher powers at work. Either way, she was somewhere in rural East Asia, possibly thousands of kilometres from her apartment in Mumbai.

"I have come here . . . to . . . um, I am travelling. You know, looking for a good place to settle down."

"Settle down, at your age? If you say so, elder. Now come, follow me. We will take you to the village."

The woman gestured for Indira to follow, and she, the two women, Indira, and soon the other women began to walk. They made their way through the large rice paddy, and went up a large hill that framed the paddy. They followed a well worn path, bare dirt roughly five metres wide. To either side was green grass and shrubs, behind the paddy and river. Then they reached the crest of the hill and she gasped. This was not good.

Below was a valley surrounded by gently sloping hills, and in the middle was a large village. Surrounded by a large trench, there were dozens of houses, medium sized round huts, each with roofs made of some sort of golden brown material. These houses were collected into clumps of two or three, surrounding a wall preceded by a second trench. Beyond the wall she caught sight of the roofs of several more houses and large buildings. It was difficult to judge the scope of the village due to her distance from it, perhaps a kilometre, but it was fairly large. Outside of the village spread large fields, with several paths and crude fences separating the different zones. Dozens of people dotted the land On the far side of the small valley there were animals, perhaps pigs and sheep, but it was hard to tell from a distance. One thing was for sure: this was nothing like the world she had come from.

"This is the valley of our village. We are very lucky to have won this spot so near the Great River. As you can see, we grow rice in our paddies near the river, and near our village we grow wheat and millet. Beyond the far walls we have an orchard of a few dozen peach trees, and soybeans grow in large patches there as well," the woman seemed to be quite prideful of her village, talking about it like a mother would of her favourite child. "We are the most prosperous village along this river!"

"Oh, that sounds impressive. How far does this river go?"

"As far as we can tell, forever. There are the ten villages, of course, as well as three who have angered the River Goddess and had to leave or else face her wrath. Then there are the bands on horses who occasionally come and fight our men, but we are strong and repel their attacks easily. I suspected that you may be one of them, but your skin, like the colour of clay, you are unlike them. Unlike any we have seen here."

"That was . . . quite expository. Thank you. And my skin is different because I come from a land far to the south, where land meets water that seems to stretch on forever."

"Yes, you are a mystery. We will have a village feast to honour your arrival, but only the Chief may decide if you may stay here. Much work is to be done, and no offence meant to you, but you do not seem capable of good work."

The woman rudely looked Indira up and down, her nude form exposing how odd she was, thin and wrinkled inner upper body, but her thighs a but too large. The woman stopped and the procession of women stopped as well, all looking at her to see why they had stopped.

"You cannot enter the village like this. Cloth girl, come here."

A small woman, barely out of her teens, scurried forward, a large pack on her back and bowed to the basket woman. She seemed like a skittish girl, nervous and twitching.

"Give this woman one of the spare dresses to wrap around herself. We cannot bring her to the Chieftain looking as she does. Now put this on," she commands, shoving a coarse sack of a dress towards Indira, made of rough hemp. "It would be unseemly to come before the men of our village without clothing."

"Yes, madame."

And so it was that they moved on, walking the long dirt path through the fields of grain, making their way to the village in the valley below. A new chapter of Indira's life had begun, the last, and the longest chapter for it stretched on into infinity.

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(Things in parentheses are OOC. The rest of this is IC. A form for your character to answer.)

Describe your abilities: I am perfectly perfect at anything I try, as you can tell from my excellent response.

Why did you become a superhero: I am bored sitting at home every day, since Linda and the girls can only do book club twice a week, and ever since Miriam had a few glasses of wine too many we haven't been allowed to brunch as Bistro de Moose-cakes. You didn't hear it from me, but Martha heard from Susan that Miriam's husband is leaving her, so we're not allowed to get mad at her, but Ruth still talks about her behind her back. So anyway, we tried a board game night a few years ago but that never worked because Wendy would always cheat - her sons get it from her, that's why they always get fouled in lacrosse - and then we tried a fight club, but then Jane got her nose broken and she got surgery but every one knows it doesn't look right, you know? Long story short, I just need something to do while the kids are in school.

What are your goals for the future: To get my kids off to college, cook and clean for my husband, and keep myself busy, preferably with this. Ever since Helen's daughter got accepted into the Omaha Infinites she thinks she is better than me, and that is unacceptable.

(Why is this character with the Minnesota Infinites. In other words, why do they kind of suck?): They are perfect at everything they do, as long as it is some sort of benign task that she doesn't mind doing. Baking a perfect cake, doing her son's maths homework, or painting a perfect painting? Absolutely. But if she tries to shoot a gun without training or karate chop a door open? Just . . . don't let it get to that. Please.

How would you describe your talents?: I am perfect at everything I do. It's how I always beat Barbara at the school bake sale every year. She always gets so red in the face, but my triple chocolate fudge brownies cannot be beat, especially since her lemon bars are always so dry. But you didn't hear that from me.

(What about your character's talents make them a D-lister?): She is great at peaceful and homebody style tasks, but violent or tasks that are not in line with what a perfect wife and mother should do tend to go horribly, horribly wrong. She is also quite unwilling to get her hands dirty, because she knows that if she shows up to bridge with a broken nail then Lauren will become Alpha Mom and that is unacceptable, because Lauren's daughter, Lindsey T., got a better grade than Penny's daughter, Kelli P.

What are your strengths?: I do everything exactly as well as I want to.

What are your weaknesses?: I have none, obviously. It takes a strong woman to stay Alpha Mom in a suburban Minnesota school for five years running. Tina, the Alpha Mom before me, wasn't able to find any weaknesses, and she was the most dangerous villain I have ever faced, so this shouldn't be a problem.

(Any other flaws? Maladjusted personality? Social issues? Unmarketable aspects?): She is annoyingly perfect, and a bit of a gossip. It is hard to like her. Also, on an unrelated note, she is slowly going insane. She got a Doctorate in Political Science from Columbia University and she spends her days making sandwiches in the shape of stars and organising bake sales.

Why should you if given the opportunity be allowed to advance in the Infinites?: Because I am perfect, but I wouldn't take it because this is more of a hobby to me. I need something to do when the kids are in school or I will go insane. I have a Doctorate in Political Science, you know. My mind needs something to work on. Just let me in. I need this almost as much as you need me.

(Why does the press hate or ignore you?): She has no real personality flaws visible that they can find an angle for.

[Talchyon]

Name: Penny Parker
Codename: Mommy Dearest
Age: 30(?) - 35(?) (She never says her age, but she has an 11 year old daughter, a 9 year old daughter, and an 8 year old boy after getting married at 18)
Sex: Female
Appearance:

(Image)

Bio: TBD
Powers: Domestic and Feminine Perfection
RP sample: TBD

---

(Things in parentheses are OOC. The rest of this is IC. A form for your character to answer.)

Describe your abilities: I am perfectly perfect at anything I try, as you can tell from my excellent response.

Why did you become a superhero: I am bored sitting at home every day, since Linda and the girls can only do book club twice a week, and ever since Miriam had a few glasses of wine too many we haven't been allowed to brunch as Bistro de Moose-cakes. You didn't hear it from me, but Martha heard from Susan that Miriam's husband is leaving her, so we're not allowed to get mad at her, but Ruth still talks about her behind her back. So anyway, we tried a board game night a few years ago but that never worked because Wendy would always cheat - her sons get it from her, that's why they always get fouled in lacrosse - and then we tried a fight club, but then Jane got her nose broken and she got surgery but every one knows it doesn't look right, you know? Long story short, I just need something to do while the kids are in school.

What are your goals for the future: To get my kids off to college, cook and clean for my husband, and keep myself busy, preferably with this. Ever since Helen's daughter got accepted into the Omaha Infinites she thinks she is better than me, and that is unacceptable.

(Why is this character with the Minnesota Infinites. In other words, why do they kind of suck?): They are perfect at everything they do, as long as it is some sort of benign task that she doesn't mind doing. Baking a perfect cake, doing her son's maths homework, or painting a perfect painting? Absolutely. But if she tries to shoot a gun without training or karate chop a door open? Just . . . don't let it get to that. Please.

How would you describe your talents?: I am perfect at everything I do. It's how I always beat Barbara at the school bake sale every year. She always gets so red in the face, but my triple chocolate fudge brownies cannot be beat, especially since her lemon bars are always so dry. But you didn't hear that from me.

(What about your character's talents make them a D-lister?): She is great at peaceful and homebody style tasks, but violent or tasks that are not in line with what a perfect wife and mother should do tend to go horribly, horribly wrong. She is also quite unwilling to get her hands dirty, because she knows that if she shows up to bridge with a broken nail then Lauren will become Alpha Mom and that is unacceptable, because Lauren's daughter, Lindsey T., got a better grade than Penny's daughter, Kelli P.

What are your strengths?: I do everything exactly as well as I want to.

What are your weaknesses?: I have none, obviously. It takes a strong woman to stay Alpha Mom in a suburban Minnesota school for five years running. Tina, the Alpha Mom before me, wasn't able to find any weaknesses, and she was the most dangerous villain I have ever faced, so this shouldn't be a problem.

(Any other flaws? Maladjusted personality? Social issues? Unmarketable aspects?): She is annoyingly perfect, and a bit of a gossip. It is hard to like her. Also, on an unrelated note, she is slowly going insane. She got a Doctorate in Political Science from Columbia University and she spends her days making sandwiches in the shape of stars and organising bake sales.

Why should you if given the opportunity be allowed to advance in the Infinites?: Because I am perfect, but I wouldn't take it because this is more of a hobby to me. I need something to do when the kids are in school or I will go insane. I have a Doctorate in Political Science, you know. My mind needs something to work on. Just let me in. I need this almost as much as you need me.

(Why does the press hate or ignore you?): She has no real personality flaws visible that they can find an angle for.

Looks nice so far Auphelia! She should fit right in.

-Talc

[Auphelia]

Looks nice so far Auphelia! She should fit right in.

-Talc

Oh, thank you!

I'm not a very comedic person, so this should be a bit of an interesting challenge!

[Zjaum]

I'm not a very comedic person.

You should fit right in...

Lel, enjoy!

[Barapam]

Expect an updated app for Irina.

[Talchyon]

Expect an updated app for Irina.

Oooh! Sounds exciting!

[Barapam]

Name: Irina Borisova
Codename: "Space Bear"
Age: 26. Well, that's unless you count that she's been frozen in space for an additional 48 years. In that case she's 74. Then again, time flows differently in space, doesn't it? So in that case, it's... I don't know, okay?
Sex: Female
Appearance:

Bio: (See the previous arc for more detail.) Irina was a Soviet cosmonaut, who in 1969 would've been the first woman, and human being too, on the moon, if her space capsule hadn't malfunctioned and drifted off course. She would've surely died, unless a radioactive tardigrade had ended up in the capsule and accidently bit her. The tardigrade thus passed his natural capabilities to her, and she survived, in deep hibernation for decades. An alien ship eventually found her, but more due to incompetence than actual evilness, they ended up enslaving her. Luckily [sic!] the Minnesota Infinites ended up on the same ship, and the whole thing got sorted out. Irina then followed them on their misadventures (because she really had no other choice).

Once they all got back to Earth, she was less lucky then Hans Waltz (for new readers: Hans Waltz was a captain in the Finnish Air Force who fought in WW2 and got sucked into space through a wormhole. His superpower was that his farts didn't smell.), who managed to adapt to a modern society and find a new career as a historian specialicing in WW2, or the tardigrade, which didn't return to Earth at all, but stayed in space and married a zblorx (looks like a tardigrade, but big as a horse) princess. Irina certainly tried, but she neither found a new job, or zblorx princess (ok - I admit - she didn't actually look for a zblorx princess). To start with, it was a shock to her that the Soviet Union had fallen, and to make matters worse, no one believed her story. "Right, and I'm Alexander Pushkin", people said. She got no recognition for having fought in an inter-galactic gladiator arena and saving Earth from a thousand years of slavery. It was assumed that she had lost her mind in space - because the authorities could eventually conclude that she spoke the truth about her identity - and she was offered therapy. No job though. Missing 50 years of technological advancement, she didn't have the necessary qualifications for anything.

So she went back to Orient and begged the other Infinites to take her back.
Powers: She can survive being freeze-dryed. In space!
RP sample: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=421321&p=32376569#p32376569

---

Describe your abilities: "I can apparantly hibernate for at least half a century. Probably not at will though, only when I'm near death."
Why did you become a superhero: "The Infinites sort of saved me from extraterrestrial captivity, and when we got back to Earth it turned out I didn't have much of an other career to choose from, so I went back to them."
What are your goals for the future: "I don't know... learn to cope with the future, I mean the present, I suppose."
(Why is this character with the Minnesota Infinites. In other words, why do they kind of suck?): It's the only thing she knows how to do nowadays.
How would you describe your talents?: "I wasn't even aware of them until the lizard mafia on Planet McPlanetface tried to make me 'sleep with the stars', and all in all, I've only used them twice. Don't ask me how they work, I'm no scientist."
(What about your character's talents make them a D-lister?) For a civilian, she's a has-been. For a superhero, her power is that she can manage long periods without water or oxygen, but appears dead when doing so.
What are your strengths?: "I don't speak in a stereotypical Russian accent of broken English. Then again, that could be because I'm not a villain, or because Barapam, yes, now I'm going meta, doesn't know how to write that properly."
What are your weaknesses?: "I'm from 1969, so some things about modern life doesn't make sense for me. Oh, and did I mention my lame superpower? It only works for extreme dehydration and extremely thin air. Bullets and the like hurt me just as much as anyone.
(Any other flaws? Maladjusted personality? Social issues? Unmarketable aspects?): Still a Communist.
Why should you if given the opportunity be allowed to advance in the Infinites?: "I think I proved my worth during the last arc."
Why does the press hate or ignore you?: "American medias dosen't know I exist. Russian medias pretend I don't, since my mission failed, and I'm a failure and disgrace for my country."

[Whalestron]

Wowzers! Promise I’ll try to stay active, might be a lull with school and all.

[Talchyon]

The apps that have been turned in so far have a few blank spots on them, but they will be accepted once they get filled in. Barapam, I like what you've done with the updates for Irina. Auphelia - I know your writing ability. You don't have to spend terribly much effort on getting a bio for your app.

Zjaum and Whalestron - Do you want me to bring your old apps back?

[Zjaum]

The apps that have been turned in so far have a few blank spots on them, but they will be accepted once they get filled in. Barapam, I like what you've done with the updates for Irina. Auphelia - I know your writing ability. You don't have to spend terribly much effort on getting a bio for your app.

Zjaum and Whalestron - Do you want me to bring your old apps back?

I'm down for that. Do you need/would you like me to make changes/updates?

[Talchyon]

The apps that have been turned in so far have a few blank spots on them, but they will be accepted once they get filled in. Barapam, I like what you've done with the updates for Irina. Auphelia - I know your writing ability. You don't have to spend terribly much effort on getting a bio for your app.

Zjaum and Whalestron - Do you want me to bring your old apps back?

I'm down for that. Do you need/would you like me to make changes/updates?

Only if you wish. Otherwise, you're still good.

[Zjaum]

I'm down for that. Do you need/would you like me to make changes/updates?

Only if you wish. Otherwise, you're still good.

Might add a third character, to celebrate the dawn of the third book.

[Utceforp]

Alright, I've got two character ideas, tell me which one of them is funniest/most interesting.

Tateth the Immutable: A pudgy, (physically) middle-aged man who is at least several millennia old and has a ridiculously-OP healing factor that can even prevent him from being retroactively erased from existence, but his abilities also prevent him from improving his body or training to fight in any way, so while only a truly omnipotent being could kill him, a properly-motivated middle schooler could easily incapacitate him. His actions would be narrated in a parody of the bombastic style of Kirby and Lee.

Norman Baker/The Shrike: The worst human being you could ever meet, but not in a badass way. That one white guy from the suburbs who wants to be a rapper, except instead of wanting to be a rapper he wants to be a superhero. Everything he says and does is a semi-ironic attempt to appear as awesome as he possibly can. Has no powers and little intelligence. Generally a parody of the dark and modern age of comics in the tradition of Nextwave, but more specifically a parody of Frank Miller's Batman but as an idiot hobo with no friends.

[Talchyon]

Alright, I've got two character ideas, tell me which one of them is funniest/most interesting.

Tateth the Immutable: A pudgy, (physically) middle-aged man who is at least several millennia old and has a ridiculously-OP healing factor that can even prevent him from being retroactively erased from existence, but his abilities also prevent him from improving his body or training to fight in any way, so while only a truly omnipotent being could kill him, a properly-motivated middle schooler could easily incapacitate him. His actions would be narrated in a parody of the bombastic style of Kirby and Lee.

Norman Baker/The Shrike: The worst human being you could ever meet, but not in a badass way. That one white guy from the suburbs who wants to be a rapper, except instead of wanting to be a rapper he wants to be a superhero. Everything he says and does is a semi-ironic attempt to appear as awesome as he possibly can. Has no powers and little intelligence. Generally a parody of the dark and modern age of comics in the tradition of Nextwave, but more specifically a parody of Frank Miller's Batman but as an idiot hobo with no friends.

I like both of them! Maybe the 1st one though. Especially with this arc, we might have some really fun interactions.

[The Last Abode of Pando]

I'm going to be back with Ed and Aesculapius, and Florida Man.

Steve was left in space, along with the older Florida Man.

[Talchyon]

I'm going to be back with Ed and Aesculapius, and Florida Man.

Steve was left in space, along with the older Florida Man.

I will add your characters today then. The old gang is getting back together.

And for those who do not know, Pando has done a lot with helping with the details of the plot. Some of the funny things that will be coming are due 100 percent to him.

[Barapam]

Oops, didn't realize I had missed two lines. It's fixed now.

[Talchyon]

[background=][/background]Name: Irina Borisova
Codename: "Space Bear"
Age: 26. Well, that's unless you count that she's been frozen in space for an additional 48 years. In that case she's 74. Then again, time flows differently in space, doesn't it? So in that case, it's... I don't know, okay?
Sex: Female
Appearance:

(Image)
(Image)

Bio: (See the previous arc for more detail.) Irina was a Soviet cosmonaut, who in 1969 would've been the first woman, and human being too, on the moon, if her space capsule hadn't malfunctioned and drifted off course. She would've surely died, unless a radioactive tardigrade had ended up in the capsule and accidently bit her. The tardigrade thus passed his natural capabilities to her, and she survived, in deep hibernation for decades. An alien ship eventually found her, but more due to incompetence than actual evilness, they ended up enslaving her. Luckily [sic!] the Minnesota Infinites ended up on the same ship, and the whole thing got sorted out. Irina then followed them on their misadventures (because she really had no other choice).

Once they all got back to Earth, she was less lucky then Hans Waltz (for new readers: Hans Waltz was a captain in the Finnish Air Force who fought in WW2 and got sucked into space through a wormhole. His superpower was that his farts didn't smell.), who managed to adapt to a modern society and find a new career as a historian specialicing in WW2, or the tardigrade, which didn't return to Earth at all, but stayed in space and married a zblorx (looks like a tardigrade, but big as a horse) princess. Irina certainly tried, but she neither found a new job, or zblorx princess (ok - I admit - she didn't actually look for a zblorx princess). To start with, it was a shock to her that the Soviet Union had fallen, and to make matters worse, no one believed her story. "Right, and I'm Alexander Pushkin", people said. She got no recognition for having fought in an inter-galactic gladiator arena and saving Earth from a thousand years of slavery. It was assumed that she had lost her mind in space - because the authorities could eventually conclude that she spoke the truth about her identity - and she was offered therapy. No job though. Missing 50 years of technological advancement, she didn't have the necessary qualifications for anything.

So she went back to Orient and begged the other Infinites to take her back.
Powers: She can survive being freeze-dryed. In space!
RP sample: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=421321&p=32376569#p32376569

---

Describe your abilities: "I can apparantly hibernate for at least half a century. Probably not at will though, only when I'm near death."
Why did you become a superhero: "The Infinites sort of saved me from extraterrestrial captivity, and when we got back to Earth it turned out I didn't have much of an other career to choose from, so I went back to them."
What are your goals for the future: "I don't know... learn to cope with the future, I mean the present, I suppose."
(Why is this character with the Minnesota Infinites. In other words, why do they kind of suck?): It's the only thing she knows how to do nowadays.
How would you describe your talents?: "I wasn't even aware of them until the lizard mafia on Planet McPlanetface tried to make me 'sleep with the stars', and all in all, I've only used them twice. Don't ask me how they work, I'm no scientist."
(What about your character's talents make them a D-lister?) For a civilian, she's a has-been. For a superhero, her power is that she can manage long periods without water or oxygen, but appears dead when doing so.
What are your strengths?: "I don't speak in a stereotypical Russian accent of broken English. Then again, that could be because I'm not a villain, or because Barapam, yes, now I'm going meta, doesn't know how to write that properly."
What are your weaknesses?: "I'm from 1969, so some things about modern life doesn't make sense for me. Oh, and did I mention my lame superpower? It only works for extreme dehydration and extremely thin air. Bullets and the like hurt me just as much as anyone.
(Any other flaws? Maladjusted personality? Social issues? Unmarketable aspects?): Still a Communist.
Why should you if given the opportunity be allowed to advance in the Infinites?: "I think I proved my worth during the last arc."
Why does the press hate or ignore you?: "American medias dosen't know I exist. Russian medias pretend I don't, since my mission failed, and I'm a failure and disgrace for my country."

Welcome back to Irina. Love the updates on the app. As she has already been approved, I will add her to the list.

[Barapam]

Thanks Talc! One question though: Is there room for a subplot where Irina's new Adidas tracksuit turns out to be evil (like Venom), or should that be a separate gopnitsa who is a villain in her own right, or a weird mixture where we're first fooled to think there's a renegade Russian ruffian on the run, but it's really Irina's subconscious, like a Ms Hyde? But then it's actually the tracksuit after all anyway?

I confuse myself too.

The idea came from that "Space Bear" as a Russian girl's name roughly would be Cosma Medveda, and I figured her codenmame could be Supergopnitsa.

[Talchyon]

Thanks Talc! One question though: Is there room for a subplot where Irina's new Adidas tracksuit turns out to be evil (like Venom), or should that be a separate gopnitsa who is a villain in her own right, or a weird mixture where we're first fooled to think there's a renegade Russian ruffian on the run, but it's really Irina's subconscious, like a Ms Hyde? But then it's actually the tracksuit after all anyway?

I confuse myself too.

The idea came from that "Space Bear" as a Russian girl's name roughly would be Cosma Medveda, and I figured her codenmame could be Supergopnitsa.

I like both of these ideas. And I'll just say that this arc will feature something of a mystery, something where I hope you are confused as to who is good and who is not, and just wait til you see the main bad guy. Your ideas - especially your first - would fit right in with what I'm thinking...

[Barapam]

Thanks Talc! One question though: Is there room for a subplot where Irina's new Adidas tracksuit turns out to be evil (like Venom), or should that be a separate gopnitsa who is a villain in her own right, or a weird mixture where we're first fooled to think there's a renegade Russian ruffian on the run, but it's really Irina's subconscious, like a Ms Hyde? But then it's actually the tracksuit after all anyway?

I confuse myself too.

The idea came from that "Space Bear" as a Russian girl's name roughly would be Cosma Medveda, and I figured her codenmame could be Supergopnitsa.

I like both of these ideas. And I'll just say that this arc will feature something of a mystery, something where I hope you are confused as to who is good and who is not, and just wait til you see the main bad guy. Your ideas - especially your first - would fit right in with what I'm thinking...

All right! The first alternative at least saves me the trouble of making a new app and gives me some ideas for posts.