World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Baggieland]

I'M NEW HOW DO I PARTICIPATE IN A WORLD CUP PLEASE HELP!!!!

You have to sign up BEFORE it starts. So you're too late for this particular one. See you at the next one!

[Blouman Empire]

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Cousin Drives Home Comeback

Blouman Empire Striker Luke Cousin scored twice as the Eagles magnificently came from 2-0 down to win away to Nooooooooooooooo.

The home side was looking their third win and it just looked like they may have got it when they led by two goals at half time. However, the momentum shifted after the break. Promdranian teenager Max Fox, starting after John Miller’s injury in the previous game against Xanneria, reduced the deficit after controlling Paul Credab’s delivery from the left. Cousin slotted home from the spot to bring the scores level after Issac Cupstran had been sandwiched by two Nooooooooooooooo players giving the referee no choice but to point to the spot. And with 14 minutes left the fightback was complete when Cousin stroked in after more good work from Credab.

With the marvellous turnaround a popular post-match question to Blouman Empire manager Lewis Parry might be, "what did you say to them at half-time?". Nooooooooooooooo were relatively abject in that opening period not making many in-roads into the Blouman area, however, they did enough to get two goals before the break. Some might have thought that this was going to be another long game for the Eagles which had only managed one win during the qualifiers.

But in Parry they have one of the best motivators in this league. The team also has a precocious young talent in Fox The 19-year-old, who appears destined for greater achievements, set the Empire on their way when he brought down Credab’s ball brilliantly before striking past the Nooooooooooooooo keeper. The home crowd at then fell almost silent as the the referee blew the whistle and pointed to the box. The penalty was slotted in by Luke Cousin to bring the scores level. The forward who is the leader of the Empire’s goal scoring ladder for the qualifiers then capped off a great day for the visitors when he converted Credab’s cross. The boss was recently glowing about the 26-year-old, highlighting how his workrate and effervescent attitude in attack have aided the team so far these qualifiers. He would have had a smile as wide as anybody's when Cousin slotted the winner to put the side in front.

The win is only the Empire’s second win for the qualifiers but the result puts them on 10 points and moves them up to the middle of the table though still trailing by 19 points from the leader Equestria whom recorded their 9th win of the qualifiers. While the Empire has gone two games without defeat they next play the top two teams and will be a test to either keep them in the hunt of qualification or to play the second half knowing they will not progress to the next World Cup proper.

[Taeshan]

Main Nation Ministry 0-2 Taeshan
Main Nation Ministry
Nkitilina 17', Sneijder 50'

The Pain of Relegation

I grew up in Ojian. Ojian has two soccer teams. The Orangemen have been a yoyo club for the better part of the last two decades. Spending 57 of the 66 years of the league in the topflight. One of the winningest clubs in league history just by matter of being around. The other club was Sleepy Hollow. Sleepy Hollow has spent just over 30 years in the topflight, never relegated, some struggles but also the glory of winning a title.

I was 8 years old when Sleepy Hollow won the league. It was really incredible. I think a lot of kids from Ojian were inspired. Mierton had always been the home of soccer on China island, but even they were not successful until recently. Sleepy Hollow had a team you could look up to, a strong squad that went against the odds. It really made me want to be a soccer player. I think that was the driving force in me choosing to follow this path.

So, I joined Sleepy Hollow’s youth squad to begin my career. It was pretty evident though that that squad was built to win more championships. They had the money to buy from abroad and my path to first team football was really unlikely. I could tell that as a kid. Players like Shaheen Taleb, Liam Tagawa, and Leon McMaster seemed to be hot commodities and there wasn’t really a chance for me. I was quickly beginning to wonder how I would fight into the lineup. Then Sleepy Hollow’s rivals Ojian made a call asking if they could loan me in for their Erste Liga season.

As a 15-year-old being asked to play first team football was quite a feat. I really was excited to have the chance. In the end Sleepy Hollow asked me if I would best be suited just going to them full time. While I loved my club, Ojian was giving me the chance so I choose to sign a first team contract with the Orangemen and move their permanently. It was a lot easier to do that to get playing time than fight for my spot in Sleepy Hollow. Or so I thought, in the end I fought as hard to get a starting spot there as I would have on the other side of the city.

Ojian was an eye-opener. Sleepy Hollow had a strong defensive system, and an attack that scored goals. Ojian was a good second division side looking for promotion. They had their forwards and they used them. It wasn’t until halfway through the season that I started scoring goals off the bench and started getting starts. I ended up helping the team earn promotion. Ojian by far had the most goals that season in the league, won the league by four points, but the most apparent thing was that the defense was also not that great.
For three seasons we fought at the bottom of the Premier League. I scored a lot of goals. Twice we had last matchday escapes. A win over the Flight, enough goals in a loss against Bayern-Algaer not to get knocked out on goal differential. Then finally my last match in my hometown. Needing a win, a 9-1 home loss against Blacklake that saw us relegated. Not only did we get relegated we got humiliated. Four seasons with the Orangemen, and while not incredibly successful we won a second division title, and then fought relegation. That is not fun. Especially when you’re not getting incredible support overall.

Relegation is tough. Fans have a hard time watching their home clubs fight and fight, and then suddenly you’re playing in smaller stadiums, against smaller teams, and it can feel like the world is against you. We let in 118 goals in 46 games. We deserved to be relegated, but that doesn’t make it any less hard. It’s hard on the players too. We aren’t trying not to win, we want to win as much as anyone else, and then we go and lose 9-1 in the deciding game at home. It’s a tough game, and it can break your heart in more ways than one.

Shannan Lafayette

[Trolleborg]

Previous parts of the story: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

The museum robot politely and with slightly guilty intonation said goodbye to them and expressed the hope that they would soon return enlightened. Led by Keith, who was still present in the shape of a swarm of fireflies, Naomi and Wesley left the museum. Behind the blurry promises of "explaining everything" in these country could be anything, maybe some sinister manipulations with the brain or illusions of all kinds. But they, nevertheless, walked along the street adjacent to the museum, turned right, turned again, but to the left, walked a little forward and turned right again, to the city center. And there Keith said with satisfaction: “We are on the spot. Take a closer look at this, and we'll talk again in a couple of minutes”.

A monument stood on the paving stone right in the middle of the square surrounded by local medieval buildings, and without any fence around. Its looked like a rather large boulder with a hollow rising hump on which the figures were crowded. For some time, tourists looked at the monument as a whole, then they began to distinguish details. At the very bottom, the chain of figures began with a completely cave-like appearance by people - a loincloth or animal skins as a clothes, tangled braids, protruding fangs, scary looking clubs. They helped to climb forward the next - dressed already as the morning reenactors they met. Even further, with their help, people in the medieval armor of every sort climbed the mountain. One of them slipped and fell, but he was firmly held by a figure from the next group, dressed in magnificent clothes with elaborately made lace. Self-confident people with thick books, compasses and astrolabe went even higher. And closer to the top of the hump, peoples were dressed in modern clothes, one of them was holding an old computer, turning the monitor into space, and, apparently, showing him the world, and the rest had a aircraft, a rocket, a large plan, rolled up into a tube and so on. And very close to the hump is a man with an inspired face, pointing with one hand at something in the distance, and with the other calling for the rest to follow him. Instead of a cliff in front of him, a bridge began into space, right into the sky. The skill of the sculptors was amazing, in the metal they succeed show not only the smallest details of clothes were made, but also the expression on faces, each of a good hundred of characters had its own.

And, by the way, the tails disappear somewhere in between. And about halfway there the weapon vanish from the hands.

“Well then,” Keith reminded about herself. “Now let's talk. I see you have already begun to understand a lot?”

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Jerauuk 1 – 4 Baggieland FT (0 – 2 HT)

Starting XI for this match:


Fred Buckingham decided to give his second XI a run out against bottom of the table Jerauuk, and they didn’t disappoint.

An apprehensive Jerauuk crowd greeted the kick-off, who were outsung by the travelling Baggielandian support right from the start. The away fans were treated to a dominant display by the second XI who were all looking to impress the boss for a place in the first team. Ginger was first on the scoresheet within the opening ten minutes, when he placed a shot inside the left hand post after excellent work from Barlow on the left wing. After that, Jerauuk gave a better account of themselves, producing a couple of worrying moments for the Throstles, but which ultimately came to nothing. As the half wore on, Baggieland regained their dominance but they had to wait until injury time for the second goal of the game. This time, Brown chipped the ball out to Cunningham on the right, who centred the ball for Allen, who in turn made no mistake from just inside the penalty box.

The start of the second half saw Jerauuk giving it their all, and after some constant pressure, their efforts were rewarded with a penalty when Wile upended their striker inside the box. Despite guessing the right way, Foster was beaten from 12 yards. The Throstles got their game plan back on track, when Wile, looking to atone for his earlier mistake, produced a delightful through ball to Ginger. The striker skipped past one defender and then unleashed a thunderous shot that their keeper had no chance with. In the 76th minute, under pressure from Allen, a Jerauukian defender handled the ball inside their own penalty box. Ginger had no hesitation in placing the ball on the spot, and duly drove it home. He is now the first Baggielandian player to score a hat-trick in this competition. As the game came to an end, Baggieland had an excellent chance to score a fifth goal when Cunningham burst in from the wing and gave himself only the goalie to beat. Unfortunately the trailing legs of the keeper prevented what would have been Cunningham’s first international goal.

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Ginger Astle: (9’, 61’, 76’).
Cyrille Allen: (45+1’).

Possession: 61%.
Corners: 12.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 6.
Bomber Robson: 5.
Ronnie Regis: 4.
Ginger Astle: 3.
Ray Brunt: 2.
John Moore: 1.
Jonas McAuley: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 10.
Bomber Robson: 5.
Ronnie Regis: 5.
Ray Brunt: 4.
Ginger Astle: 3.
Jonas McAuley: 2.
Chris Barlow: 1.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

[Nephara]

Nephara 4 - 1 Delaclava
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 2 - Stride, 5 - Thorn, 6 - Brosch, 3 - Close (c, 19 - Muscadin 62'); 13 - Saroszi, 4 - Shone, 21 - Moxham (8 - Chalk 77'), 16 - Deventer; 9 - Bastable, 10 - Metzger
Goals: Saroszi 3', Deventer 49', Bastable 61', Muscadin 80'

Monako Saroszi had already scored.
It had been a beautiful little play, Shone seizing on Campbell and driving the ball ahead to Bastable, who took it with his back to goal, trusted there to be a gap and trusted Saroszi to be running there, and found it with a forward pass. George Ross closed the angle, but not enough.
Some were still taking their seats at the Gauntlet only to be presented with Saroszi blowing kisses their way.
Delaclava weren't about to reel. Their tradition was to attack, attack and attack some more, and they'd come without expectations of a clean sheet. Were they to win it was always going to be a 4-3, not a 1-0. So they got to it.
It worked fairly well for twenty minutes or so. Tradition could embed deep within a side, even a pale shadow of what had once been. Girardi looked like he was born for this stage, and Campbell outshone him. Lukas Meyer, arguably the best of any of them, struggled to make an impact but even his threat kept the Nepharan captain, Marcin Close, pegged back in his own half.
They attacked with elan. Campbell swerved free of Close and scorched Mercator's palms, and Ingram forced her into a sharp save at her nearest post. Ingram again was at the heart of the best chance of all, Durbridge and Ritchie double-teaming Moxham, Girardi flighting the loose ball forward, Ingram darting inside and just nudging the ball gently between Brosch's feet as she came to commit, getting tangled up with the defender but leaving Mullins with a clear run on the ball--
-- and Hesterine Mercator came sweeping in from nowhere, hunkered low and pounced on the ball, Mullins tripping over the top a half-second too late. A less geriatric striker would have got there in time. The away fans sighed, and applauded the effort regardless. It would be the last for a while, as the deflated momentum carried through the rest of the first half. Brosch nearly redeemed herself for the nutmeg by slamming a header from Moxham's corner against the crossbar loud enough to be heard in Brinemouth, but 1-0 the score remained.

The second half would be more open. A blessing to neutrals; a curse to George Ross.
Strauss had been clear. The first half had been strong, but Delaclava had the quality to conjure a goal from nowhere. Too many tears had been shed after 1-1 draws that had seemed like points in the bag. No, they needed a second and ideally a third and ideally a seventh should the opportunity arrive.
Morena Deventer got it started. There'd been a couple early flares, Moxham and Campbell both taking strikes from distance that arrowed high and wide but were likely covered regardless, but this was the dagger between the ribs. Saroszi supplied it with a curling ball that split Gusev and Joseph, but left Deventer a lot to do. Strongbow would've just hit it, but Deventer had never asked to be in her shadow, never found the need to stop doing things her own way, and cut inside Joseph hard enough to give the poor lad whiplash.
Another short lull, before another flurry of activity once people had their breath back. Yet again, Delaclava could have been back in it with sudden violence, Meyer taking advantage of the high Nepharan line lashing a first-time strike at goal. Mercator retreated faster than Dathan Ingram's hairline to tip the ball over. Mullins almost had a chance, but got it caught between his feet - Campbell looked exasperated, and was right to be, as just a minute later, Saroszi's cross was chested down and driven home by Kurtis Bastable. A straightforward goal, but with a certain crisp efficiency.

3-0 seemed harsh. 3-0 was harsh. The difference had been ruthlessness, but the Delaclavs weren't about to throw in the towel. Hester, Ayala, Fuentes and Berrera had managed four goals in twelve minutes way back when, and that spirit remained in the team, would remain in any team in those red and yellow jerseys no matter how many decades went by.
The Cormorants sat back. Before they realised, they were hunkering down. Someone looked at the stats; Delaclava had enjoyed 72% of the ball over the past ten minutes. Not quite with the penetration, but they were coming closer. Walters, lively off the bench, shaved the outside of the crossbar. Closer. Keaton Durbridge forced Mercator into a low parry and only Thorn's quick feet let her hook the ball to safety before Mullins could arrive. One might consider him to be a touch out of touch with the rest of the team; a bunch of fiery young guns at foreign clubs and then this old clogger? Why, a neutral might wonder, was he even still there?
Because of moments like what came in the 72nd minute. Not many 36-year old strikers would chase down a lost cause down the left flank, and fewer still would get there. Rovena Stride had a stubborn touch of complacency in her makeup, and could clearly be seen smiling as she trotted towards Girardi's overhit pass, her ball, a smile that was wiped off her face when Mullins blindsided her, raked her calf with her studs. Suddenly there was a fight, a tussle, and Mullins was at one point on a knee, but managed to shove against the momentum to slip by Stride as she plummeted, overcommitted, to earth. And now he was bearing down on goal from an acute angle, Mercator had it covered. A selfish striker might have shot, almost certainly to no avail. A pedestrian striker might have cut back to a waiting player, only for the waiting player probably to be Roxelana Thorn.
Mullins rifled a low pass towards the far post, and trusted someone to be there. Lukas Meyer, invisible all game bar flashes of brilliance, chose the right moment to stand up and be counted.
David's slingstone had lodged in Goliath's eye. The analogy was muddied; Delaclava were a storied side in their own right with an older history than Nephara's, and Goliath, represented ironically by the fairly diminutive Vivica Muscadin, made it four not long after. The leftback's first goal for her country capped off a lively cameo that put additional pressure on Sander Katarec, and indeed made people look up how old Close was. There were silver linings to the Phoenices' performance, and not every side could say that they'd punched the Cormorants in the teeth in their own backyard. Nephara, though, were the cloud, and both sides were old enough and ugly enough to realise the points on the board were the part that mattered.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 6
Goalkeepers: 1 - Hesterine Mercator (Eastweald, COS), 12 - Acatha Feldman (AFC Corvistone), 20 - Fasolt Senninger (Creed United)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Marcin Close (Brinemouth, c), 5 - Cedella Verlander (AFC Corvistone), 6 - Gabrielle Reinhardt (Sabrefell Athletic), 18 - Valeri Longship (Crisisbless), 19 - Vivica Muscadin (Sabrefell Moths), 22 - Gabriel Lockheed (AFC Treason)
Midfielders: 4 - Ferena Rauch (AFC Treason), 7 - Bryony Westerveld (Sabrefell Athletic), 8 - Malachi Chalk (Falourr, EUR), 11 - Rowena Strongbow (Directus, EUR), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 15 - Mercurio Kastriot (Crisisbless), 16 - Rasmus Caracole (Coret Hawks), 21 - Swansea Reach (Sabrefell Moths)
Forwards: 9 - Kurtis Laiota (Crisisbless), 10 - Tanith Carter (Crisisbless United), 14 - Arista Tzorvas (CA Paulinthal, PAS), 17 - Voska Avetisyan (Cornellians, SCT), 23 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR)

SCHEDULE
Welzat 0 - 3 Nephara
[Bye]
Nephara 2 - 0 Great Lausitz @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Huayramarca 2 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 1 Sarzonia @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Competitive Solitaire 0 - 7 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 0 South Charlia @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Darmen 1 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 0 Aimena @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Jeruselem 1 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 1 Delaclava @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Acronius vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Simpralia @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
Nephara vs. Welzat @ Ebony Lane (Cranequin)
[Bye]
Great Lausitz vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Huayramarca @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Sarzonia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Competitive Solitaire @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
South Charlia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Darmen @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Aimena vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Jeruselem @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Delaclava vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Acronius @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Simpralia vs. Nephara

[Sharktail]

GROUP 5 MATCHDAY 11

sharktail-4
Sulimani (m '15)
Gaby (m '16,35)
Azmer Ishak (m '79)

Line up
Ahmad
Batuil
Azmi
Yusri
Ashaari
Badhri
Chandra
Azmer Ishak (sub m 55)
Hadi
Gaby
Sulimani

Sub
Fikri (m 55)

---

Squorshelous-2

Lucia Krupin(m '25)
Tove Anker(m '72)

Hello and good morning to all the viewer.We meet against,withe Nazri Adam from Sultan Sport Report.Do you remember me.Maybe you all already forgetting about me.Well it make sense,you just see me one time when after our National Team start their qualifying campaign.I really hope i can see you often but you know we dont have a budget to do it.We nearly bankrup just making one episode.Well,i said because i said it loud beacause i dont care if they hear me.They cannot fired me because they dont have money to pay my compensation.Hahaha,you know i more power than them now.

As i said after we done our first episode,we get some money.We may can continue producing for our next episode but what they do,paying the rent for the equipment.What the hell,how poor they are cannot even buy their own stuff.I font even know how this company survived.Well it strange.What more after we dont recording the last time,they dont even have an editor with their company.After i checking the data,all the worker mostly have connection with the boss.What kind of mess there are doing,trying to provide news for other but doesnt even have anything.If i want to say about their lacking i think all the hour will just end like that so before i continue talking about them let change it to the sport topic.

1.Sharktail NSTT player have depart to Istria for the opener of Season 6 clay court season.
Yeah it time for tennis season again.4 singles and 2 pair of doubles have arrived in Istria City for clay court season.Syamim kevin,Haikal Jansen and Naim alex alongside Izzat Manson/George Fakhrul and Bahari Zack and isaac Daud will participate.Wait a minute,who is this...how to read it.Diana....Jan...Jansen.What a terrible handwriting.Hey you just doing good and clean job.You just giving me headache.Whatever yeah Diana Jansen will play too.Let root four our tennis player.Go go sharktail.

2.Sharktail will play without fans for 3 match.
Hmmm....well i dont care.I just come to work.I dont if they can play with a fans or not.Sharktails fans arrested when try to bring flare into the stadium in a game against Valladeras.Zwangzug fans injury,hitted by object throwed by sharktail fans.Ah,i dont want to read anymore.His handwriting terrible.

3.The budget for sport in Sharktail will increase.
It more like economy report.So i dont want to tead it.You know it stated about money so it economy.It sport report.Other than sport i dont want to talk about.

Well with that the re...........

The stdio turn dark.Nazri stand and yelled at cameraman.

Nazri:What happening?I not finish talking yet.

Staff:Sorry i dont know.

Nazri:How can you dont know.You staff.

Staff:I just a cameraman.

Nazri:Just shut up and go fix it.

Staff:But i dont know anything about technician.

Nazri:Hey dumb,if you dont know just go search someone know.I dont need you to give me all your dummy excuse......Gooo...

The staff leave the room to search for technician.After afew minute the staff followed by boss.

Nazri:Hey how is it?Hey boss what happen?

Boss:Our electric has been cut off.

Nazri:Waiit...whaat..what do you mean?

Boss:We dont have money,we cannot afford to pay electric almost three mont.

Nazri smack the table.

Nazri:Dont mess with me.Firstly you just can afford for one episode and nearly bankrup now you really really bankruo.I come here to work.I trust you.why i stuck with this stupid company.

Nazri leaves the toom with angry mode.He go outside and all the thrasbine along the way into door before smack the door.The door break.The report not even finished.

---

Sultan Post News office

Kieran just finished checking the report made by his reporter.He finished all the further report and send it to the his department captain before the script send to director.He on his phone.He open the group.He sees the reporter group have most message.He open it.He read the message and try to understand.

Ooc:m for message

M:Sultan sport report suck

M:Is it true they dont have their own camera.

M:How can they open company with that shitty set up.

M:I think they not new company.They already established 2 years.

M:maybe they just sitting and laxy around not doing anything.

Kieran read the message.He get the topic is about Sultan Sport Report but he font know why.Suddenly his caltain call him to enter the boss room.He quickly get up and go to the director office.

K:Hello sir.Is there anything?

D:Come in first.

K:Yes sir.

D:I have a work for you two.you know right our country will play without fans and the number of reporter who can enter also limited.

K:Yes sir all reporter know.

D:In the next match against adsuri and Vakolicci,from the original list,the game will be reported by Sultan Sport report.But last night their report turn out wrong.Even their reporter,Nazri said about the company nearly bankrup.

K:So that the reason for all the ruckus by all reporter.

D:So i get called by SFA and they willing to let us gill the reporter spot instead of Sultan Sport.So i want you two to go.

K:Wait sir i will report away game?

D:Yes away game.Make sure you make a fantastic report about all two match.

K:Yes sir dont worry.

Kieran leave the director office.He jump like a monkey.He really excited.He finally can go visit the other country.He overexcited that make him not focussed and hit his head to the wall.All the other staff laugh at him.He smile and leave immediatly.

---

GROUP 5 MATCHDAY 12

---

GROUO 5 MATCHDAY 13

[Electrum]

Centralis Herald - Entertainment Section - Ameerah Gauci

Dream Games opens after hiatus

After many years, gaming company Dream Games has reopened its business (website). As part of the reopening, Dream Games has created a series of three new consoles: the Dream Swerve, a hybrid console aimed at the casual gamer market, the Dream Epic, a traditional, high-performance console and the Dream Storm, a seat-back console. Their launch title, much like their first launch title many moons ago, is a football game - World Domination 85. And much like Multiverse Pro Soccer 1, players will have the ability to create their own players, play as real-life players, or manage their own club or national team. With leagues like the Terranean League and Audioslavia's The National League already available in game, it will be a matter of time before nearly all of the multiverses' leagues will be available as downloadable content.

Dream Games was initially formed as a partnership between game developers from Gloriax and financiers from Electrum, with Gloriax providing the creative and technical functions of the company, whereas Electrumites provided the financial and management aspects. Unfortunately, the company fell into disuse (even before the time loop disturbance), due to former Electrumite CEO Alex Kline not being aggressive enough in expanding into new markets. Gamers and investors now hope that a renewed partnership between Electrum and The Grearish Union (which is on the lands on the former Gloriax) will be what is needed to propel the company into a new era. Changes made by the new CEO Ronald Green include refreshing the Dream Games brand by focusing on blue, expanding the products sold at Dream Games stores, and controlling as much of the supply chain as possible to cut costs.

As part of Ronald Green's strategy to modernise the company, Dream Games has also renewed its Dream Account system. Under the old account system, the potential for multiplayer applications was limited, and instead there was a focus on having different players playing on the same console being allowed to save different save files, so each player of a shared console had their own account and could play games without worrying about erasing another user's progress. Now, with the advent of multiplayer gaming, the new system extensively uses the internet to track achievements, a buddy and play system, as well as the purchasing of downloadable games.

As a sign of the company's success, Dream Games has already expanded its retail footprint abroad with 400 new stores in Ko-oren and Reino do Brazil, as well as inking deals with Air Terranea and Switzstar (an airline from Empirical Switzerland, a very rational place) to have Dream Games' seat-back entertainment system on their planes. Additionally, with Dream Games being renowned for its high-quality gaming development division, with classics such as Grand Theft Bloke, featuring The Sword Bloke's leader and Lord Gregory's Army new games are on the horizon for all of Dream Games' consoles. With the great success of the relaunch, it looks like there will be endless opportunities for Dream Games to grow into a well-known gaming company across the multiverse.

For interested readers, please come onto this thread here to set up Dream Games in your country, to create a game, or to set up sponsorships.

[The Jovannic]

at a local tavern in Jovannica

the tavern is unusually quiet today, with some odd groans and muffled snorts periodically breaking the silence.

What a sloppy performance.

Really expected our attack to do better.

Ianu looked hopeless. Rivilia Yunsala was out of sorts. Sami and Jovan did better, but not enough.

Yeah... We just could not break through.

Decent defense today. Gothal Mathee looked happy.

Especially cus it was a young line up. Do you think Mavin or Joshua will be keeper?

Mavin. His recent form is just too good.

I agree.

Next match Eura. Think we stand a chance?

If the attack gets their act right definitely. We have a relentless attack. Eura will not be able to take it. It just depends if the attack actually works.

the two men order two more beers and sit down. Suddenly, a shout is heard from the distance.

"WHERE WAS THE FKING ATTACK?"

People are crazy nowadays.

starting eleven
Mavin Tsuniki, Maruo Mulchaio, Raye Eng, Kallin Yustat, Nivario Wesh, Stocktain Lelop, Jin Tze, Thomas Behine, Sami Ning, Santi Clafus, Jovan Ilohil

The best availible line up. Will pound.

[Gopnikea]

Bunkaiia - Gopnikea
Result: 1 - 6
Possession: 33% / 67%
(Lowrie 27’, 36’, 78’, Treyhon 51’, 69’, Banguero 88’)

Gopnikea finally has a huge win over its opponent, Lowrie has a hattrick, Treyhon with two goals and finally Banguero with a goal before full time. A player of Bunkaiia has scored a goal in the 11th minute. Lowrie manages to impress the whole crowd with his famous cut inside technique. Treyhon also managed to surprise the crowd by going through a few defenders with ease with the help of good positioning and a bit of nutmegging.

---

Coach Bestos: Good job Lowrie and Treyhon, I’m very proud of you!

Lowrie: We followed your advice in the game. Your tactics worked definitely worked against Bunkaiia, I can’t wait to see how your tactics work out in the next game.

Coach Bestos: Your positioning was amazingly good this game, I really hope you can keep it up for the next few games so we can achieve at least Top 50 in the World Cup.

Lowrie: We’ll try our best!

Coach Bestos: And Treyhon, I am astonished by your nutmegs, how did you manage to nutmeg a few defenders at once? I want to see it again in the next match.

Treyhon: That was easy, I took advantage of their positioning, they looked really tired.

[Emastalia]

Emastalia 1-1 The Grearish Union
Scorers: Jamus Aaldenburg[EMA](32), Willis Kline[GFA](57)

Overview: After the team was demoralized by the recent 4-1 loss to Recuecn, they were set on winning the game against the Grearish Football Team. Unfortunately after a jaw dropping goal from Jamus Aaldenburg, the Grearish responded with Willis Kline getting past the defense and scoring a goal for the Grearish. Unfortunately it seems Emastalian luck has run dry, and our next match which will prove to be a decider if Emastalia will make it into the Second Half of Qualification will show if Emastalia really is a loss hope.

Starting Roster
GK: Richard Llynn
LB: Alexandre Phillips
CB: Astas De Vries
CB: Donald Louivereau
RB: Anders Vanderbilt
CM: Arnold Rosenau had to come for John Mathieu
CM: Richard Pouveire
LM: Sean Gillapi
RM: Tom Buedeker
CF: Willem Alden
CF: Jamus Aaldenburg

Substitutes
GK: Marcus Relands
CB/LB: Lourens ter Hofste
CB/RB: Heiko Rouvekamp
CAM/LM: Berg Scholman
CM: Mark Timan
CM/RM: Elijah Obinna
CF: Robert Avénard

Willem Alden is back from being injured, and conspiracy theorists and hardcore fans of the sport blames his absence for the recent form of the team which alternated between draws and losses. Recently the style modifier of the team was changed to 3.5, so we have to hope that there will be some change. Fortunately our orders from NNS came and will now replace the old kits officially

Football Kits
Goalkeeper Kit

Home Kit

Away Kit

Football Kits(Provided by NNS)

We hope it gives some hope to our players in blue and yellow, but only time will tell. If it was me, I would have pulled out of this tournament and wait for the next Baptism of Fire to get a new fresh start.

[HUElavia]

Another Two Penalties Mark Defeat for HUElavia!

HUElavia 0-2 Equestria
(REDACTED 53' (P), 80' (P))

HUElavia came into Matchday 11 returning from their Bye-Week that saw them retain 2nd Place after 3rd Place Xanneria dropped points on the road in a 1-1 draw with the Blouman Empire. This time around, HUElavia was hosting another match in Curumba, at the Southwestern stadium of Estadio Capital, with a capacity of 90,000. This time, Los Amarillos faced off against Equestria, who were in 1st Place with 26 points after a 2-0 victory over Nooooooooooooooo. The stadium was sold-out as this was one of the most tantalizing matches of the group with massive implications of how the qualifiers would go on the line. Both teams fielded their best players, although Coach Mendieta-Martinez decided to give Ricardo the starting goalkeeper role and the Captain's Armband for the match.

The first half kicked off and both teams played against each other in a cautious but attacking manner. Sending crosses left and right to try to open up each other's defense. Hamada, Cristiano and Navarro all got shots in, but were blocked with ease by REDACTED. Not to mention, REDACTED and REDACTED also got shots towards the HUElavian goal, only to be snuffed out by Ricardo. Despite shots being taken, nothing would come of them, and would either be saved by the goalies or defenders, hit the crossbar, or go out wide for a goal kick. The first half ended at 0-0, with fans feeling like more could have happened.

The second half kicked off and continued where it left off, with both teams going at it with caution and precision in a series of "waves" in attack. During one of the "waves" from Equestria, REDACTED sent in a cross of the ball into the box, where REDACTED got it with their chest, only for Toni to clatter them in an attempt to win over the ball and send it out the box. The referee did not hesitate to call the Penalty Kick and give Toni the yellow card. REDACTED stepped up and sent Ricardo the wrong way, as the ball went into the goal and the scoreline was 0-1. HUElavia began going on the attack, with passes and crosses being made by Gallego and Ramirez, which met the feet or heads or chests of Cristiano, Rossi, Hamada and Navarro, only to go out wide, narrowly miss or be saved by REDACTED. Despite this, substitutions were made for HUElavia, with Smirnov, and Moutinho coming on for Toni and Hamada respectively. Attacks were made once more but deja vu would strike, as a cross attempt by REDACTED had the ball hit the hand of Amaru in the box once again, with the referee pointing to the penalty spot. Amaru protested that is was a complete accident, but the decision was made and REDACTED came up once again for the kick in the 80th minute. REDACTED took the shot, and Ricardo got a hand to it, but to no avail as the ball went into the goal and the match read as 0-2. HUElavia tried to go on the attack once more, but were chasing ghosts as they would not get much opportunity to change the scoreline and the match ended in a 0-2 loss for HUElavia.

With the loss, HUElavia have the record of 7-0-3, for a total of 21 points, while Equestria stays in 1st Place with a record of 9-2-0 for 29 points. Despite prayers for a victory, HUElavia did have some other prayers answered, as Xanneria once again drew their match, this time a 2-2 draw against Fujai, meaning HUElavia stays in 2nd Place by the merit of Goal Difference of +9 to Xanneria's +8. Kandorith also won their match against South Concepthuania with the score of 5-2, meaning they also have 21 points and +8 Goal Difference, but are currently in 4th Place. The next two matchdays will be a double-header of Qualifying Matches, which HUElavia will be playing at Blouman Empire for Matchday 13, and will host Fujai for Matchday 14, which that match will be played in Estadio Rias in Xinzo. HUElavia will use their Away Alternative Uniform against the Blouman Empire and will use their Home Uniform against Fujai. The entire B-Team will start against the Blouman Empire, with Vallares in goal, while a mix of A-Team and B-Team players will start against Fujai, with Ricardo in goal. HUElavian fans and the team have confidence that they can get two important victories in order to finish off the First Half of the Qualifiers with a good record heading into the Bye Week for all teams before continuing on with Qualifiers.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Timuria]

Tough Draw in Demir

Timuria 1–1 Sargossa
Vatan Ercetin (58);Diego Alejandro Costa (23)

by Tufan Nursultan

A full strength Red Wolves squad were on the backfoot for much of their encounter with third place Sargossa, which ended in a 1-1 draw as the Red Wolves consistently found themselve broken upon by their visitor's counter attacks. This has snapped the Red Wolves five match winning streak as they look to end the first half of group play with a trip to Res Publica Nova Roma and then a return to home soil to face Ziwana in Elektriklestirme.

The first clear cut chance of the match would fall to Mauricio Sainz, whose well struck effort would be palmed away by Iskender Nur before it was cleared to safety by Berker Balkan. The Red Wolves would get a chance of their own in the 15th minute, with Ertan Renda slicing through the opposition defence before agonisingly sending the ball just wide as he was clear through. The visitors would get the opening goal in the 23rd minute Diego Alejandro Costa finding his way clear of the defence as Berker and Kemal Colak left a far too large gap between each other allowing the striker to chip Iskender and open the scoring.

The Red Wolves would get the next clear cut chance with Ismail Burhan through on goal who had his effort saved magnificiently by Roberto Penedo whose fingertips just sent the ball wide of the post. Sargossa would break upon the Red Wolves on the counter attack in the 40th minute, but unfortunately for them the final product was lacking as Sainz's finish wasn't good enough to beat Iskender. The sides would go into the break with the visitors on top and seemingly on course for a critical three points.

The visitors would also get the best of the early stages of the second half, Adrián Fonseca managed to get a shot off on target, which Iskender was more than equal to. The Red Wolves would finally equalise with a counter attack of their own as Vatan Ercetin had the ball teed up for him by Ismail Burhan, allowing him to lash it into the top corner.

The remainder of the match would pass uneventfully as the result would leave both sides as they were in the group with the Red Wolves now preparing for their trip to Res Publica Nova Roma before rounding off this half of group play against Ziwana.

What They Said After The Match:

Bekir Altingunes: "We had an opportunity here, I think to really show that we were up for the challenges that will be coming for us in the second half of qualifying. Sadly I don't think we did that, it was a decent day for the team and every point is crucial and every experience means we're building towards something better, but this is the sort of match we need to be winning, even if it would have needed a tiny bit of quality or luck. Great teams make it happen and we didn't and we don't have any choice other than to continue on and try to win every match we have left."

Player Ratings:

Due to a disciplinary hearing that Tufan has been forced to attend, he was unable to do player-by-player analysis.

Iskender Nur 8/10

Ozbek Sarikaya 7/10

Kemal Colak 7/10

Berker Balkan 6/10

Gokdeniz Dag 6/10

Ertan Renda 6/10

Reza Karaduman 6/10

Caner Turan 6/10

Vatan Ercetin 7/10

Volkan Ayhan 6/10

Ismail Burhan 6/10

Substitutes:

Omer Tameroglu 6/10

Yerkebulan Suyumbayev 6/10

Yildiray Sabuktiginoglu 6/10

Person of the Match: Iskender Nur - He made a series of critical saves that saved the point for the Red Wolves today, hopefully this is just the start of a good spell for him.

Schedule and Results:

Home stadiums will have capacity in brackets

MD1: @ Xuzaqiy W 5-3
MD2: vs Cassadaigua, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir L 3-2
MD3: @ Kelssek L 2-1
MD4: vs Barunia, Tashkent Belediye Isci Stadium (18,500), Tashkent L 4-1
MD5: @ Audiasania W 3-2
MD6: Bye
MD7: vs Olastor, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir W 3-1
MD8: @ Patistan W 5-3
MD9: vs The Mann Clan, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir W 2-0
MD10: @ Grod Island W 5-3
MD11: vs Sargossa, Hisar Belediye Sendika Stadium (27,500), Demir D 1-1
MD12: @ Res Publica Nova Roma
MD13: vs Ziwana, Halkın Güneş Çiftliği Stadium (27,000), Elektriklestirme
MD14: vs Xuzaqiy, Demir-Is Stadium (5,500), Demir
MD15: @ Cassadaigua
MD16: vs Kelssek, Madenci Stadium (27,000), Uryan
MD17: @Barunia
MD18: vs Audiasania, Maden-Is Stadium (3,400), Uryan
MD19: Bye
MD20: @ Olastor
MD21: vs Patistan, Almat Jimnasyum (3,000), Demir
MD22: @ The Mann Clan
MD23: vs Grod Island, Tasova Belediye Stadium (2,000), Tasova
MD24: @Sargossa
MD25: vs Res Public Nova Roma, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir
MD26: @ Ziwana

[Brenecia]

Brenecia 5 - 3 Damukuni
(4-3-3) 20 - Wright; 18 - Lonergan (2 - Shepherd 73'), 22 - Leadbetter, 6 - Mathers, 19 - Prentice; 8 - Matheson, 4 - Townsend, 13 - Wheeler; 7 - Cheney, 10 - Ciogach (17 - Lindauer 61'), 16 - Fletcher
Goals: Cheney 33', Townsend 38', Fletcher 49', Prentice 55', Lindauer 87'

RèÃ̶§̴u̕e̵Ã͟§͟n 0 - 2 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 20 - Wright; 18 - Lonergan, 22 - Leadbetter, 6 - Mathers, 19 - Prentice (3 - Watermark 68'); 14 - Caitiff, 4 - Townsend (23 - Fallon 59'), 8 - Matheson; 7 - Cheney, 10 - Ciogach, 16 - Fletcher (11 - Pace 78')
Goals: Matheson 52', Cheney 76'

Scathach Wright divided the world of goalkeepers into two; exciting goalkeepers who tried shit and boring goalkeepers who didn't.
She? Beautiful Southerner, futch aesthetic, quick feet? Was in the former camp. Cass Farrell? Dour Northerner, no aesthetic, pace of feet unknown? Exemplified the latter.
Sometimes there were healthy rivalries. Sometimes your two best goalkeepers, either of whom would walk into a number of high-class national teams, just fucking despised each other.
Perhaps that had had a... negative effect. The Brenecian defence had been chaotic over the past few matches, and conceding ten goals from the last three games was unacceptable in the leadup to a crunch match against the second seeds. Wright had been trying too hard, even she admitted that much, and had played poorly against Quebec where they'd been bailed out by Lauren Cheney. Brelk-Xeral had hesitantly promoted Farrell against Qvardax but the lead-footed bitch had left the high line completely exposed, and they'd had to be bailed out by Lauren Cheney. Wright was back for Damukuni, and another ill-advised sojourn forward had cost a goal. Fortunately, Lauren Cheney had been there to bail them out.
The Patriots were becoming slightly dependent on the Spartangrad winger.
Wright knew things were turning for the worse when she found herself relieved that someone besides her had given a penalty away. The Patriots had started better but found it hard going in the Recuecn penalty area. Fletcher was in Spencer's pocket, shutting down much of Brenecia's production down that line, while the outstanding young defender Kayserling had been, well, outstanding. And Lonergan had brutally chopped down Lavigne just inside the box - she'd argue that the foul happened a few inches fair side, most would argue you didn't give a winger the chance to fall in the box at all. In any case, the cocksure striker Frank Adams seized the ball at the first opportunity and planted it on the ground.
Wright realised two things.
1) This was her shot at redemption. If she clawed this out from the corners, all thoughts of her wayward recent form would vanish. There was nothing to lose, short of, say, standing still like an idiot as he fired it past her.
2) She would stake her life, and more importantly her career, that the little shit was gonna try something.
Fuck it. She went with her instinct. Adams smirked. Stepped back, strode forward, and chipped it.
Straight into Wright's chest.

Lauren Cheney and Ceridwen Fletcher were chalk and cheese. That, Cheney figured, was why they got along so well. Two Lauren Cheneys would be insufferable; two Ceridwen Fletchers would never actually say anything.
They were opposites on the playing field as well, from certain metrics. Fletcher was tall, austere, had a peach of a left foot and a playing style built entirely around marshalling it. Cheney was sturdy, lower to the ground, but a physical beast who was physically and mentally incapable of coughing up possession. She'd gone from an overconfident winger prone to bouts of tunnel vision to... well, a winger with justified confidence.
They talked a lot off the pi--
Cheney talked to Fletcher a lot, off the pitch, and she was certain that had a positive influence on it. More than just knowing how Fletcher played, she knew how she thought, in sharp and geometrical terms. And she knew that the idea of how to crack this defence, ideally with one perfect pass, was buzzing around her skull. Matheson's strike, wriggling free from midfield congestion and driving low past Firaut, would not be enough to satisfy her.
Firaut was no weak link; he'd eat up any cross that went anywhere near him. Kayserling was great... perhaps a little weak at communicating. There was slapstick potential for Kayserling and Firaut to run into each other and Ciogach to tap home, maybe, but not something to bank on.
But what if...
A long spell of Brenecian possession down the left had largely been fruitless. Fletcher tired of it, and loitered for a moment. Just a moment. Long enough for the Recuecn defence to shift and Fletcher to swing it over all their heads, save only Bourguignon, who had it arrowing towards his chest until it wasn't, 'til Cheney stole in ahead of him and took it away and was moving in on goal. She'd like to go past another just to prove she could, but the opening was there and the elements in her favour. She fired. Low, hard, curling around Firaut's fingers as his attention was forced one way before the dive jerked him the other.
2-0 it remained; Recuecn were rock-solid in defence but still lacked some weapons going forward, and the Patriots were able to stick out their most difficult fixture. Again, on paper, Lauren Cheney had borne them on her shoulders. But with Fletcher on the other flank, at least, the winger was never truly alone.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 6
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cass Farrell (Northern Union), 12 - Opal Cairncross (Marketville, EUR), 20 - Scathach Wright (Raynor City United, VAL)
Defenders: 2 - Caithe Shepherd (Northern Stallions), 3 - Deimne Watermark (Northern Stallions), 5 - Garrett Horgan (Northern Union), 6 - Keane Mathers (Northern Stallions), 18 - Sorcha Lonergan (Northern Union), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 22 - Finn Leadbetter (Holdenberg, EUR)
Midfielders: 4 - Finn Townsend (North Hall), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR), 13 - Corby Wheeler (Goldstaff City, COS), 14 - Esther Caitiff (Southern Star), 21 - Riona Parker (Galatica, PAS), 23 - Ronan Fallon (Newrook City, NPH)
Forwards: 7 - Lauren Cheney (Spartangrad, EUR), 9 - Mhacha White (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Lajuno, EUR), 11 - Tricia Pace (Northern Union), 15 - Nuada Speaker (North Hall), 16 - Ceridwen Fletcher (Holdenberg, EUR), 17 - Creidne Lindauer (Cazadores Cathair, AUD)

SCHEDULE
Brenecia 2 - 3 Poafmersia
Shokpos 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 5 - 2 Andromeda Island Group
Revatnagar 2 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 1 Crystalline Caverns
Emastalia 0 - 3 Brenecia
[Bye]
Brenecia 6 - 4 IA Quebec
Qvardax 3 - 6 Brenecia
Brenecia 5 - 3 Damukuni
Recuecn 0 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Grearish Union
Filindostan vs. Brenecia
Poafmersia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Shokpos
Andromeda Island Group vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Revatnagar
Crystalline Caverns vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Emastalia
[Bye]
IA Quebec vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Qvardax
Damukuni vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Recuecn
Grearish Union vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Filindostan

[Eraman]

CHAPTER 7
CITTAPURA

Undefeated after 4 matches, Eraman travelled to 25th ranked Pasarga on a high. The boys were eager to test their strength against one of the best team in the world.

The match itself was high-tempo with both teams eager to attack especially the away side. Eraman focused their attack from the two pacey wingers. However, the Pasargan full-backs were not to be outpaced.

A quick counter-attack early in the second half led Pasarga striker, Julia Muller to have a one-on-one situation with Dundang Bayan. The pacey striker coolly slotted the ball into the back of the net.

In the end, Pasarga playing in front of their 90,000 home fans proved to be too strong for Eraman. The match ended 1-0 to the home side, handing Eraman its first defeat in the campaign.

Next up for Eraman was Ottoman Syldavia at Universiti Cittapura Stadium. Tun Sengalang Petara was eager to get back to winning ways in his return to his home during his formation years.

Tun Sengalang Petara spent 10 years in Cittapura for his studies. Started in Cittapura Malay College for high school when he was 13 until he graduated from Universiti Cittapura with a degree 10 years later.

The situation in Cittapura itself was under controlled. The protest in Cittapura was peaceful. The protesters were mostly university students.

The Kingdom of Citta is known to be a safe state for the National Front with the elderly including most of the academicians in support of the National Front.

The arrival of Tun Sengalang Petara in Cittapura was greeted with a huge celebration. The Dean of Universiti Cittapura even went on records saying that the annexation of Mitra and Soma is a huge victory for Eraman.

Playing in front of a capacity crowd, Eraman did not disappoint. A solitary goal by Era Hitam earned Eraman the 3 points.

Eraman then travelled to Plane of Possibility for its seventh match. However, they were handed their second straight defeat away from home. Complacency probably played a part as 148th ranked Plane of Possibility scored 2 very early goals.

Eraman only started playing their own game after being 2 goals down but the opponents were already hyped up. A goal from Badang Gangsa late in the first half proved to be only a consolation.

Eraman's next match was one for the history book. It was the first home match for Eraman in Mitranese soil ever. And the opponent was one of the best team in the world and the top seed in the group, Valanora.

[Krytenia]

Lake Esper players taken from BoF roster. Sequence of events taken from this match.

Better Lake Than Never
By Rami Niblick in Esper City, Lake Esper

THERE are occasions where being a Dragons fan puts you through the emotional wringer. You spend half the time wondering why you put yourself through all the pain, before something wonderful happens and you end up cheering and whooping like a madman. Last night's game against Lake Esper was another one of those.

The hosts have been, if we're honest, a bit of a disappointment since the Baptism of Fire. With the famous (and similarly struggling) Krytenia visiting their patch, it was perhaps to be expected that the Esperites decided to choose this fixture to raise their game. The Lakesiders came out of the blocks running, feeling that putting the Krytenian back three under pressure from the off was the way to go. The Dragons defence held firm, reducing their opponents to a couple of sighters, but crucially were unable to keep hold of the ball long enough to exert any meaningful pressure. Lake Esper continued to search for an opening, and when they won a corner on the quarter-hour, they got it. Kieran Grayling shed his marker at the near post, and with Damien Carpenter hemmed in by his own defenders, it was an easy nod home for the Essendon Royal defender.

The home side continued to press home their advantage, and grabbed a second ten minutes later. Once again, the Dragons' inability to clear their lines cost them as Theodoros Eleftheriou's hooked ball landed at the feet of Andrew Fairfield. A quick sequence of passes sent the ball to Hadrian Salo, and his insightful pass found Percy Southwark breaching the offside trap, collecting the ball in space and taking two touches before smashing it past Carpenter and into the bottom corner of the net.

That's not to say Krytenia didn't have chances. On the rare occasions they got out of their own half, the Dragons did threaten; Neil Smith and Selly Kennedy both testing the 'keeper's reflexes, whilst Rafa Mendonca's curling shot looked good up until the point where it whizzed outside Sem Selbergh's far post. The problem was that these chances were few and far between. It looked like the visitors would be made to pay for their misses, too, when Christopher Millen's cross found Julian Carroway drifting in unmarked to make it three-nil to Lake Esper with a diving header that left Carpenter stranded.

We don't know what Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips said to his charges at half-time; given his lineage, there's a good chance we couldn't print it anyway. Whatever he said, though, the Dragons came out for the second period with a steely determination to get back into the match. Fruit was borne almost immediately, with James Aitken finding space down the right hand side. Grayling attempted to intercept, but Mendonca was able to get his head to it first, squeezing the ball between Sembergh's outstretched hand and the post. Game on.

Aitken and Josh Kelnic had found, it would seem, a major chink in the Esperite armour. Carroway did not look comfortable assisting the defence, and the Krytenians used that to feed the ball down the right channel again and again. With a Kelnic cross forcing yet another corner, the Avidia winger's set piece found Ross Green leaping like a salmon at the far post, and the Dragons' tenacity had got them well and truly back in the game. It was now the Lakesiders' turn to be hemmed in their own half, and they looked as uncomfortable as the Krytenians had been in the opening forty-five.

Krytenia now had the dominance of possession, and unlike their hosts, had the chops to back it up. Creaks in the Esperite defence became cracks, and it was only a matter of time before the equaliser came. In the end, it was surprisingly route one, Eleftheriou's floater into the box being met by a thumping Mendonca header to level the match at three-three. The away fans, tucked into a corner of the game, were in full voice and confident that a winner was inevitable.

They didn't have to wait long. Four minutes later, Neil Smith, working deep, found substitute Alex Parsons on the edge of the box; he rolled a shielded pass for Sam Johanssen to run onto and rocket into the back of the net. Johanssen's celebrations were matched by those of his manager, thumping his chest with joy at putting his nation in front.

By this time, the Lakesiders' spirit was broken, and the match, surely was won. There was time for one final twist of the knife, though, as captain Stephen Mariner thudded home a trademark finish, latching onto a low ball from Parsons and putting the game beyond doubt.

The result doesn't hide the fact there is still a lot of work for Krytenia to do, nor does it alleviate the worries over the Dragons' defensive frailties. What it does do, though, is keep the points tally ticking over. Let's hope for another three against North New South Wales. Onward!

LAKE ESPER - 3
Grayling 15
Southwark 25
Calloway 45

KRYTENIA - 5
Mendonca 46
Green 58
Mendonca 72
Johanssen 76
Mariner 87

[Audioslavia]

The Idiot Redux
The State of Scorigami as of the Start of World Cup 85

Those of you familiar with hit Audioslavian web series The Idiot Project or the works of wholesome ginger RL States nerd Jon Bois may already know what Scorigami is. For those of you unaware, here’s a quick explanation: A scorigami is a score in a football match that has never been achieved before. Beating someone 5-2 isn’t a scorigami, as teams have been beating each other 5-2 for decades and that exact result has occurred almost 1,093 times throughout World Cup history. Beating someone 21-5, however, would be a Scorigami. No football match has ever ended in that score.

In football, any score is technically possible for a football match. 1-0 and 2-1 are the most popular options, sure, but there’s technically nothing to stop a football match finishing 10-7, 15-9 or 10-93. Whereas in rugby union you can only ever score 3, 5 or 7 points at a time, rendering scores of 3-1 or 4-2 impossible, in association football every goal is worth just one, er, goal. As long as you don’t count fractions, any score is possible.

Despite the infinity options, official international football played in World Cup Qualifiers or the Finals have ended in only 56 different scorelines.

The Scorigami Chart as of the Start of World Cup 85
Winning team’s score is at the top, the losing teams’ along the left side.

When we said ‘1-0 and 2-1 are the most popular options’ we weren’t guessing. 13,504 World Cup matches have ended in a score of 1-0, around four thousand more than 2-1 and 2-0, of which there have been just under 10,000 incidences.

You might be confused as to why scores of 1-1 or 0-0 seem to be much rarer. It makes sense after you consider that the 1-0 spot contains all of the 1-0s and the 0-1s. You can’t split the 1-1 spot two ways.

As you’d expect, matches with larger scorelines are much rarer. We meet a soft boundary after the 12-goals-per-game mark. While there have been 22 12-goal games in World Cup history, only three matches have ended with thirteen goals being scored, and only ten games have finished with more than 12 goals.

Here’s all of them.

A Miracle on Cockbill Street
Bedistan 8-7 Vilita - World Cup 23 Quarter-final
The Idiot Project Episode 1, Chapter 1

So Audioslavia are currently lining up with a 5-5-0 formation, and so far it’s taken them to three defeats in ten games, most recently the 0-1 reverse at Jeckland that takes a handful of Audioslavia’s collar and holds it while Astograth and Sajnur catch up.

Back in World Cup 21, neither Vilita nor Bedistan would have ever dreamed of playing such a formation. No. Apparently influenced by two Bedistani kids playing a computer game, both teams lined up in the spiritual enemy of an Audioslavian formation - 0-5-5 - and proceeded to clobber the hell out of each other for ninety enthralling minutes.

If you click the link above, you can re-live the drama. It’s at the end of the video. The bit where there’s that cello going jng jng jng jng Jng Jng Jng Jng JNG JNG JNG JNG and then the drums come in and it’s really cool.

Rice Against
Arroza 3-10 Sarzonia - World Cup 50 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 5

The opposite of ‘really cool’ are the Sarzonia national football team. That was certainly the case to Arroza, who bore the brunt of a then off-colour Sarzonia experimenting with their team up and annihilating them on their own turf. ”It was almost, like, ‘don’t get up to go to the concessions stands, you might miss two goals” said one Sarzonian publication at the time, neglecting to mention that the local Arrozan serving you might also be weeping at the best footballers their country has to offer get tossed around like rag-dolls by your grand-slam winning football team.

One Dai as a Lion
Syracusse 5-10 Qlumez, World Cup 55 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 4

The best thing about this game was how happy the people of Qlumez were after it.
“I lost count of the goals!” said one fan, “I was so ecstatic, I was afraid they were going to bring down the stadium”. They did, in fact, lose count of the goals, listing eleven of them despite only scoring ten.

Qlumez’s win was only the second fifteen-goal game in World Cup history alongside the Bedistan/Vilita freak result above. Below them, on fourteen goals, are three matches. Bears Armed are involved in two of them…

Sensible Sock’em
Bears Armed 12-2 Sensimillastan - World Cup 55 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 4

…the events of the first, in World Cup 55, are largely undocumented. The events of the second, in World Cup 56, are very well documented, yet we’re somehow none the wiser for what actually happened.

The Asterisk
Bears Armed 14-0 Peisandros - World Cup 56 Qualifying *
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 4

The story goes that a drunk Starblaydi referee had had double vision for the majority of the game, and accidentally recorded two goals every time the ball hit the net, making for a 14-0 win instead of ’only’ 7-0. The record books, and the World Cup 56 qualifying tables, maintain that fourteen goals were scored, despite the protestations of the ursines.

Much Entertainment… For Everybody
Åsløtten–Bëðerbørg så Česky 11-3 The United Squiggles, World Cup 67 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 5

Not much is recorded about this game either, in which cult classic side Ashblanket-Battenburg So Sexy ran roughshod over the adorably named United Squiggles in the qualifiers for World Cup 67. We have it on good authority that Stahlburg City’s Axolotl-Brandenburg Sa Ceskian striker William Çalrek scored all eleven goals. From 40 yards. With his ****.

Schott to Pieces
Kalumba 10–3 Schottia - World Cup 69 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 6

Schottia, here, were unlucky to be on the receiving end of a ten-goal battering yet not even be rewarded with a Scorigami, due to that time Sarzonia made rice pudding out of Arroza. The boot would be on the other foot eleven cycles later.

A Schott at Glory
Schottia 12–2 Lynchberg - World Cup 80 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 6

By this point, Schottia were former World Champions and enjoying a lengthy spell in the upper echelons of the KPB rankings. Their 12-2 win over Lynchberg wasn’t even a surprise scoreline, despite being one of the highest scoring games in history. Despite this, Schottia again missed out on a Scorigami. One more goal either way would have clinched it.

The Pollock
Polkopia 11–3 Axuva - World Cup 81 Qualifying
The Idiot Project: Episode 1, Chapter 6

It’s a shame that this match largely went under the radar, because it’s a beauty. By the end of the game, both teams’ defences had been put through the mill so often that they resembled a sort of fine paste which streaked thinly across the pitch. A bit like a Jackson Pollock painting.

I mean, yes, not literally, but the weird thing about these high-scoring matches is that, for some reason, very little is usually written about then. From what we can tell, match reports are only available for around five of these matches. The Polkopians refused to tell us what they did with the Axuva defence, which is probably just as well.

Expert Timing
Casta Marina 4-9 Banija - World Cup 84 Qualifying
The Idiot Project Episode 1, Chapter 4.5

Finally comes Casta Marina’s 4-for-9 over 90 overs in World Cup 84.

This match was the first World Cup Scorigami for 17 cycles, since Ashtray Badgering Spellunky’s 11-3 win over The United Squiggles. It came at a time when people were wondering whether or not we would ever see a scorigami again, and came midway through the initial showing of The Idiot Project, leading the show-runners to create a quick-and-dirty ‘Chapter 4.5’ at a day’s notice.

So far in World Cup 85 there have been a few lop-sided and high-scoring victories. Cassadaigua’s frightening 9-2 away win over Xuzaqiy was three goals shy of being a Scorigami, and while The Holy Empire’s 7-3 win over Port Ember was as impressive as it was surprising, Port Ember would have needed to double their goal tally to get on the list.

As far as The Idiot Project goes, the re-run of Episode 3 will be coming to your screens soon, though whether it will accompany Audioslavia’s games in the World Cup Finals or Cup of Harmony remains to be seen.

[TJUN-ia]

Many at the National Stadium expected this game against Turori to be a one-sided affair and it definitely was. But the fans made a pledge on twii.tur before the game: they would not leave until TJUN-ia scored a goal against a team that only conceded 6 before tonight. Certainly a high bar.

The Eels were imperious for most of the game: 3 goals in the first half, 2 in the second. Meldi'ita Mungwaii scored all 3 of the first half goals, which got him a standing ovation from Turorian and TJUN-ian alike, while the 2nd half goals were split between Kala'a Yuliizala and Daliora Toru'u. But no matter how many goals they scored, the crowd kept their word and sat through most of this game.

They would be rewarded for their loyalty and endurance in the 88th minute. Preston Chapman was the man to break the duck, a nice shot in the box after a clever ball from Joe Green was deflected by Turorian GK Timaala Hualtia. The crowd cheered as if it was the winner and they started to leave afterwards: they had done their job as the Jags had done theirs.

The quest for a home-win continues, but 2 big games are coming up. The first is in Astograth, Castle Hill in Gesterlake to be exact, who are in a glorious position. The Olives were drawn as a Pot 10 but after Jeckland beat Audioslavia, they now find themselves in a WC spot on goal difference. Considering recent form, Olibondeka will be the favourites but the Jags are the higher seeds and do have the talent to cause a potential upset on Castle Hill. The other game is the final game before WCQ takes a quick break for the halfway point. It's in TJUN-ia City against a Muradil side only one point behind us in the standings. This game will be important for a Jags team who want to move up in the table, not down.

The WCC community will have a scheduled black-out tonight for...unspecified reasons. The next edition of Boot It! will cover both Astograth and Muradil games. See you all in a while, you crocodiles! GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Updates on stadiums will occur as soon as we get them)
MD1: @Audioslavia (22) - Arena Kirola, Cathair L 1-2 (T-9th)
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (84) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (T-9th)
MD3: @Porticalia (330) L 0-1 (T-10th)
MD4: vs Sajnur (57) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (12th)
MD5: @Jeckland (UR) - Jecken Stadium, Rack City W 2-0 (10th)
MD6: vs Natanians and Nosts (131) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-4 (11th)
MD7: @Villablanca (235) W 6-1 (9th)
MD8: BYE (10th)
MD9: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 4-4 (10th)
MD10: @Necosia (341) D 4-4 (9th)
MD11: vs Turori (12) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-5 (10th)
MD12: @Astograth (303) - Castle Hill, Gesterlake
MD13: vs Muradil (212) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
-----------------------Off Day---------------------------
MD14: vs Audioslavia (22) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD15: @Euran Oceania Territories (84) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive
MD16: vs Porticalia (330) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD17: @Sajnur (57) - ?
MD18: vs Jeckland (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD19: @Natanians and Nosts (131) - Stadion Nacional (?)
MD20: vs Villablanca (235) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD21: BYE
MD22: @New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto
MD23: vs Necosia (341) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD24: @Turori (12)
MD25: vs Astograth (303) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD26: @Muradil (212)

[Riennic Isles]

Of all the teams in Riena's group, Drunk People at the Local Tavern was perhaps the most unlikely one. The name did a good job of describing their origins, but at the same time, Aya couldn't help but think it was definitely the sort of name a merry band of punters would give themselves after having one too many tankards of the good stuff. Sat on the bench, the Riena vice-captain shook her head in bemusement as she watched a motley crew of 'footballers' teeter onto the pitch at the Wavelet Arena, blinking peevishly as the spotlights bathed them in brilliant light. At least half the Drunken team were walking as though they had a glass bottle stuck up their arse. Aya recognised the symptoms - her uncle was an incorrigible alcoholic famed for going on week-long benders - and she was one hundred per cent sure that the opposition hadn't missed their chance to booze it up the night before.

Well, Aya reasoned, if the opposing team were really as drunk as they looked, it could only be a good thing for Riena. The referee blew the whistle, and straight away the drunk guys were at it, tripping all over themselves as they tried to get the ball up the pitch. They were probably a half decent pub team when they weren't pissed out of their minds, but as it was, they were tottering all over the pitch in no particular direction. They were certainly in no fit state to play competitive football at the multiversal level. Aya shook her head as Alasdair Frosticus swung his foot at the ball and missed about three feet to his left. He ended up eating a faceful of fresh turf as the ball squirted away from him, towards Star Blaydia, a blond haired chap who looked like he could have been a men's underwear model in days gone by, but had fallen upon hard times and gone to seed. Now he looked like a deadbeat dad with a beer belly. A thin dribble of saliva ran from the corner of Star Blaydia's mouth into his week-long blond stubble as he wobbled unsteadily towards the ball. Mishiro almost looked apologetic as she nicked the ball off Star Blaydia's toes. He didn't seem to notice - or if he did, he certainly didn't care.

Aya couldn't figure this team out. This was a team that had managed to hold Krytenia and Vilita to draws. They must be capable of playing well whenever they were in the mood. But the state of the Drunken team out on the pitch tonight ... even a five-a-side team of schoolchildren would've been capable of running rings around them, let alone a team of professional footballers. In fairness to the opposition, they did have one or two players who seemed lucid enough to kick a ball, even if they still looked like they could use an aspirin and a solid night's sleep. It was just a shame that their teammates were having serious trouble just remaining upright, let alone trying to play a sport requiring any degree of motor coordination.

Though bemused by their opponents' shenanigans, Riena quickly racked up the goals to end the game as a contest. You can only beat what's put in front of you, after all. The rotated starting XI had no problem blasting home past the pegasus 'keeper Equestrian Breeze, who was making a heroic one-pony attempt to redefine the role of goalkeeper by lying prone against a post and lazily wafting a hoof at the ball whenever it whistled past them. Aya had heard a lot about Cocoa-bo and the furore over its abuse, but looking at the tipsy grin on Equestrian Breeze's face, she was left wondering whether fruit cider should be up there with Cocoa-bo as an abuse-prone substance.

After scoring five goals, Riena decided to ease off the gas - after all, there was no merit in running up the score against a team with a good dozen of their players incapacitated. Hell, even some of their subs were draped over the bench, evidently trying to sleep off all the alcohol they'd indulged in. Farfa Dillis, to their everlasting credit, was trying to make the game a spectacle - unfortunately, their method of livening up the game was to lie on the pitch and try to draw a Fibonacci spiral by pinwheeling his arms about like a madman. Not to be outdone, the sub 'keeper Audio Slavia waddled over to Kry Tenia and launched himself into the hapless chap's shins, whereupon Kry Tenia collapsed limply to the ground like so much wet bog roll. Despite all the shenanigans going on, Kita Hinode did manage to hit back for the Drunkards with a brace of penalties. Both were given after Drunken players, still in an alcoholic stupor, stumbled to the turf with a Riena player in their vicinity. Both penalty calls were absurd in the extreme, but Aya found herself sympathising with the ref. He had to make a football game out of this chaotic mess, for his own sanity if nothing else.

At the end of the ninety minutes, the Riena players trooped off the pitch, completely nonplussed at the 'game' of football they'd just played. Aya, for her part, was just grateful that they'd gotten the three points on a silver platter. Meanwhile, as soon as the ref ended the game, the punch-drunk Drunken players let out an almighty whoop, leaned on each other's shoulders, and tottered down the tunnel as quickly as their unsteady legs could carry them. Some lucky publican in downtown Nagato would be doing a roaring trade tonight.

[Banija]

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI

Part VII

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition
Lukiiko- Parliament
Mkiiko- Member of the Lukiiko(Banijan equivalent of the term MP)
Mukegara- Small minority tribe of 50,000 in Northeastern Banija. They are very isolated, and are not Mormon. They get their own Mkiiko.
CRU- Collective Resistance Union(left-wing/social democratic, out of power for the first time after 11 consecutive years in office)
FJP- Free Justice Party(center-left, the former junior coalition partners)
PPM- People's Protection Movement(center-right, lead coalition government, just ascended into power for the first time in 15 years)
CPL- Christian Patriots League(religious right, new junior coalition partners)

Setting is Mujaguzo Palace

Kobe Azizi stood at the great dining hall within Mujaguzo Palace, that was used for state dinners. He had only eaten in this place once before- the Kabaka generally invited Katikkiros and their new cabinets to eat here, with the Royal Family and the Guardian Council, whenever they took office for the first time. But still- this was different entirely. The entire room was decked out for the visit. You saw Banija and Siovanija & Teusland flags. You saw the paintings on the wall, and you saw the elaborate Banijan meal laid out- it was always quite a moment.

Of course, it had been Kobe Azizi to greet Dominik Meier, out on the tarmac, when his plane landed at Gonzaga International in Busukuma- the airport that was reserved generally for VIPs and Diplomats, as opposed to the much larger airport Busukuma International, that was open to the general public. And then, of course, they had been driven in limousines to the Palace itself, with the Kabaka waiting on the top step, and the rest of the Royal Family waiting one step below the Kabaka, so nobody appeared taller than His Majesty. Royal protocols, eh?

The beginning, all the ceremonial stuff, had of course been very well rehearsed on the Banijan side. Once Chancellor Meier got out of his limousine, he walked right past the honor guard and shook hands with the Kabaka. The Kabaka and the Royal Family then took over part of the state visit, while Kobe Azizi and the cabinet retired briefly. Pretty much everyone who was anyone was there from the Royal Family. The Kabaka and his wife, Isebantu Mutungi and his wife, and even Mutungi's older adolescent sons, Ssekamanya and Ssemanda, who were aged 14 and 12, were there. Omugaba Immaculate, the older sister of Mutungi, was there alongside her husband, and Basamula, who was the Omulangira of Herzegovina and the Kabaka's younger brother, was there as well.

They gave Meier and his delegation a tour of Mujaguzo Palace. Of course, as Mwanga was a history nut, it turned essentially into a Banijan history lesson. They showed the Chancellor the original copy of the Banijan Constitution, and the corresponding copy of the Quebecois Parliament's Banija Act of 1906, which made Banija an independent country to this day. He showed an artifact of the spear that Sebowa had when he restored the monarchy in Banija, the moment the 91,835 seater Stadium of the Restoration was named after. Even the younger children, as the Kabaka was eager to teach them the art of diplomacy at a young age, spoke up during the tour, as Ssekamana and Ssemanda told the Chancellor about the unification wars, and the history specifically of the Kasanke finally conquering modern-day Busukuma.

Of course, after the tour, came dinner. At the beginning of the dinner, the Kabaka gave a speech, thanking the Chancellor and the delegation from Siovanija & Teusland for coming. He talked about how the budding relationship was a priority for the Banijans, and he spoke about how Chancellor Meier's determination to be more involved in global affairs was good for both countries, and for Atlantian Oceania in general. He said that Mutungi's visit to Siovanija & Teusland was great, and that this return visit would be fantastic. And after the dinner was finished, they started to get down to business. The people on the Banijan side who weren't representing the state- like Omugaba Immaculate and her husband, the children, Ssekamanya and Ssemanda, as well as the spouses of Mutungi and the Kabaka, left the room. Those people were replaced by various Banijan cabinet members who had missed the dinner.

Kobe Azizi began the meeting. "Well, of course, we're going to be talking about important national security issues tomorrow morning." The Katikkiro said. "But tonight, we wanted to talk about a few different things- so tomorrow's meeting can stay strictly on topic, as it will be a heavy day. The first thing I wanted to talk about, was the AEP. If you remember, a few years back, before World Cup 81, Banija was looking to rebuild its Stadium of the Restoration. We worked with AEP, and they did a beautiful job of building our new national stadium. Many of you may not know this, as we have kept this fairly secret, but Banija will be bidding to co-host the Olympiad with a Rushmori nation.

We won't reveal their name just yet- but, Banija will be bidding as the junior co-host, and Istria will be the city that we bid with. The City of Istria, of course, is Banija's largest city. But there is no Olympic Stadium ready. The plan will be to tear down Liberty Stadium, the current domed gridiron stadium in place, and build the Istria Olympic Stadium in its place. An 80,000 seater multipurpose outdoor stadium, that could host soccer, and gridiron, and track & field. The Banijan government would love to work with the AEP again on that initiative. Could we make that happen?"

Kobe Azizi paused, and then continued. "Speaking furthermore about these games. Gridiron football, as you know, is one of Banija's most popular sports. It will, naturally, have to be a demonstration at any Banijan co-hosted event. We'll be looking at stadia throughout the country. However, we are looking to work with our partners in the Glorious Southwest on this endeavor. The idea came directly from the Olympic Committee, and they spoke with me just this morning, before your arrival in the country- we wanted to broach the idea of hosting a couple of early stage gridiron games in Siovanija & Teusland? It'd be a chance to grow the game, and improve sporting and economic partnerships between our nations."

Kobe Azizi sat down, and motioned for a quick, 10 minute break. Staff came into the room with water, as people on both sides started to talk amongst themselves.

[The Sarian]

Logo-liscous
A look at Saari Football Logos: Part Three.

When you're planning a multi-part series, it's always good to actually write a few before you publish the first one. To make sure that it's something you actually want to do. Sage advice, which we should have taken with this version of logo-liscous. For each night of the last fortnight I have awoken in a cold sweat, thinking about how to say something vaguely original about the next football logo. How to make it moderately entertaining. All the while getting emails from my editors that engagement on the last part was down significantly on part one. And the death threats! The fans who couldn't abide by being told that their pride and glory play in ugly colours. I'm sure these people are thick-skinned, lovely people when talking about anything else. But poke some innocent fun at a poorly designed, copyright infringed logo and there is trouble to pay. This series has turned my life into a living hell.

Anyway, I've stalled long enough. Here's part three.

10. Tucanviul Tijgers

A nice reminder that even as we enter the top ten, we still have a lot of shit to paddle through. Okay, that was maybe a bit harsh but you'll struggle to convince me that this logo is any good. Sure, it does what it says on the cover. But being so simple, it has nowhere to hide. And then end result both underwhelms and irritates. But the main issue — and I can hear my twii.tur mentions filling up as I type this. THAT ISN'T HOW TIGERS WORK. Tigers have orange fur with black stripes. They aren't white with black and orange stripes. It's so distracting, so annoying, so unavoidable that this is so unforgiving. Yeah, it's petty. But it's not like they have much else going on. Moreover, the font is too small and it's literally just the same font used to the LegaSaari logo, which feels a bit suck-uppy. And the final nail in the coffin — and this one is quite funny — is that the logo doesn't work on their black and amber striped shirts. One side of the logo is amber, one side is black. There is no border. It just looks bloody strange. And you know what, they deserve it. Despite all the negatives, it isn't actively offensive, and we have to start pivoting to non-terrible scores eventually. 5.5/10.

9. Tiugz FC

The newest logo we're reviewing, after Tiugz went on an expensive rebrand over the last LegaSaari off-season to try and improve their brand image. A noble goal after the qualified for ICFC twice in row with no-one caring, but it's a shame that this is the end results. Positives first: I'm glad they changed their shade of yellow. This shade still isn't nice, per se, but is still a marked improvement. The increased prominence of black in the branding also cuts through and mitigates some of the issues of pale yellow. Again, it's not where you'd go if you were starting from scratch but it's an improvement on what was. And the rose is nice, even if no-one knows the significance and has ever associated a rose with Tiugz — the club or the neighbourhood — before. But it's still a logo with problems. The text is the wrong choice — especially in italic, is too small to fill the gap and is too far low. It adds a bit of psuedo-modern pizzazz to a logo which otherwise captures the essence of Tiugz (old and little bit boring). After praising the colour shame, there is a slight issue with the club colour being featured less than white and black. Frankly, I don't like the club colour so that might improve the logo — but it's still a design issue. 5.5/10.

8. Pingstrand FC

I genuinely don't know how we have got this far down the list and only now have arrived at Pingstrand. What a sad, sad indictment of everything coming before it. In the spirit of optimism, I will go through what I like about it first. It's unique. It captures the spirit of the peaceful neighborhood on the sea. The ship is cool. I like how it looks like it is riding the waves. The colours are nice, I like how they've used the Pingstrand blue as the colour of the horizon; it's done in a way which works which doesn't seem easy. Right, now we've got that out the way: I hate this logo. Individual elements may be nice, but this isn't a football logo. And it's not even a particularly nice piece of art. I'm not an art critic, so I'm unable to conjure up the words to intelligently say why but it stinks and I hate it. But I am a lefties, and it just screams the privilege of the Pingstrand neighbourhood. Oooooh look at us, nothing wrong has ever permeated beyond our gates. The shape, the tranquility, the old-time-y ship. The fact they don't even include their name! But here's the kicker, look at the football. It's the exact same ball used in the Zilverstraat logo ... in the exact same shade. It's different to the shade of yellow they use for the sun and border. It's like they copied and pasted the vector, and didn't have the brain power to change the colour. And since noticing it — which they must've done, it's pretty obvious — not taking the two second to load up the image editor and fix it. If that doesn't sum up the ancien régime arrogance of this logo, I don't know what does. 0/10 6/10.

7. Bondstad Treason

I don't know if it's just because my passions ran a little high with the last one, culminating in my editor over-ruling my mark to maintain consistency, but I literally feel nothing when I look at the Treason logo. It's just so perfunctory and fine. It looks good enough, the shape is vaguely interesting and it has a big T for those who aren't good at spelling. It's a logo which looks good enough, is of the team and doesn't hurt anyone. All good. That said, it is the only place in existence where Treason are referred to as 'FC Bondstad Treason'. I looked at their Companies House filing, it's not their name. It's just Bondstad Treason. Why add it? The font isn't my cup of tea either, but it doesn't not work. That said, the Treason is too close to the edges of the 'T' and also not centered very well vertically within it. I do like how the Treason is bigger than the Bondstad though — even the club admits that everyone just refers to them by their second name. The stripes break up which would otherwise be a block of colour, but Treason don't play in stripes so it feels a bit cognitively dissonant. That said, we're still punching above average; which is frankly quite sad, because this still isn't great. 6.5/10.

6. CF Bondstad

Did someone say controversy! That's right, we collated our results and put the league champions in sixth. Lots of people really like this logo — and I'm not sure why. Sure, they did a good job in turning their old, tired, quasi-aristocratic crest into a team logo. But it actually encapsulates so many things wrong in the logos of the past. For example, it could just be a generic logo. Yes, the purple backing is a nice touch — but to sides separated by a diagonal with stars? Every nation in a multiverse has a team with a variation on that logo. The top is too blocky and goes on too long — and it still contains the old name of the team. Far too much has been written about CF Bondstad changing their name, and I'm not gonna rehash it. Instead, I'm going to laugh about how they've left that wound still open on their logo. I'm sorry, no matter which side of the 'CF Bondstad are bastards' line you fall onto, that's funny. But aside from all those negatives, it isn't aesthetically displeasing. Some criticize the colour of the stars, but I think it provides a nice break from the purple and the logo succeeds where others fail: it works on their (white with purple trimmings) shirt. It's functuional, not ugly if a bit boring. It doesn't deserve top five, but even the mob of Bondstad haters might begrudge it sixth. 7/10.

Line-up versus Savojarna (4-4-1-1): Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz, Henri Brejzun, Ceutiz Maazden / Wictor Buul, Hugo Sint Lo, Jodi Lauri, Maeri Beniut / Mohammad Islam / Lach Houten

Line-up versus Terre Septentrionale (4-4-1-1): Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz, Bruux Ziebruux, Ceutiz Maazden / Wictor Buul, Hugo Sint Lo, Jodi Lauri, Maeri Beniut / Mohammad Islam / Lach Houten

[Ko-oren]

Dragonflies pop off for 5 after double draw

Two early losses, and a spell with two draws, made the Dragonflies look like they were on another typical campaign. Since then, however, the national team scored five on the Cheergirls to boost the goal difference, and appear much more confident heading into the second half of qualification. Of course, the second half starts with two more games against teams have given us trouble before, so you'll be happy to know that Ko-oren did after all rise to second just in time.

Port Ember was expected to give us trouble, and were the third team to take points away from us on our own soil - and again, much like in the Top League, home advantage means nothing. In fact, advanced statistics (tm) in the Top League say that home teams are less likely to score and less likely to win. In return, the Dragonflies were successful at the Holy Empire, taking a 1-1 draw were a big loss was among the most likely outcomes.

Right after that, among more hours indoors and fewer hours on the training field for the green and blue 23, the team went off for 5 goals in Santa Teresa. Vallotton, for his local Branvon audience, scored three as the team floated up to second after all. The other goals were supplied by Turner and Longchambon, another offensive showing where the front three players were responsible for almost all of the attacking intentions. It doesn't always work, but when it does, we can get some goals. Hellegeland and Basquez were given a freer reign of the outside, and the support definitely helped to keep possession on the enemy half, which could be something we will see more often. Since the AOCAF, the five defender system turning into a four-man defence in possession was let go a little bit, so a new attacking edge must be found. It's cliché, but using the fullbacks might be it.

The remaining games of the first half are versus Devonta in Katashi, and then a final showing at Daskel. The second half starts with a visit to Mattijana, who have taken three points from us before, then a cold match in Aevanna against Indusse, and then the Tequilo rematch. Surviving that streak of three games will probably see Ko-oren remain in second place until the end, or at least until the Port Ember-Holy Empire doubleheader comes around again.

NS World Cup Fantasy Qualification

Royal Kingdom of Quebec [PaddingtonBear]	303
Ko-oren	303
Twicetagria	299
Cassadaigua	287
Poafmersia	282

Things are heating up in the Fantasy department - almost halfway edition! Some of the later entries have been overly successful, as they could see which teams did well in the first three matchdays. Fantasy Co. has been reprimanded into taking steps to prevent unequal situations like these in the future. Quebec and Ko-oren have taken the lead, followed closely by Twicetagria, with the 280+ club all neatly in the top five for now. Behind there, there are six more entries in the 270+ club... and eight more in the 260+ club. Sure, it's a long way from there to make up the fourty points to Quebec and Ko-oren, but it's still doable.

So, which teams have truly delivered early on in Fantasy? For under one KPB, Astograth has brought in 21 points. At zero points, Huayramarca gave 13 points. The Independent Quebecois Athletes are also on 21 points. The Jovannic, on 12 points, is also a great discovery. Donnaconna is not a very popular pick, but is not worse than the rest. It seems that the cutoff for 'cheap pick that delivers' lies around 12 points or so - there are very few choices that have gotten under that so far. Hayvnwilde is one example of a whiffed choice, for instance. So is Delaclava, so far, and a Flock of Seagulls, as well - for more inspiration on the topic of 'not it, chief' picks, we refer you to the Audioslavian form.

While Group 1 is dominated by Astograth, Fantasy-wise, it's actually home to a great backup pick in Jeckland. Group 8 is almost all Tequilo,

Very popular Baptism of Fire graduates Mavinet and Tequilo are also delivering, and the latter are the clear favourite of Group 8. At between 1 and 3 points, they are must-picks (or, must-have-picked-s). Then a few users have found tremendous value in places not many dared to venture, such as South Newlandia (19 points, under 2 KPB!). Kohnhead is maybe a better known candidate, but are also firmly in the 'well-done' group.

You'll never get that guarantee that a low cost pick actually goes off, though. That's why, well, nobody went with 15 cheap picks in the hope that two-thirds of them go places. That's why the 30+ KPB picks are also abundant. Two people went for the option of spending OVER A QUARTER of their allotted 200 points on Vilita, for instance. One of them is Quebec, so you know it's alright.

[Sarzonia]

To a player, the Sarzonian national football team expected their home fixture against Pot 2 side Darmen to be a better barometre of where the team stood after four matches against teams that weren't expected to challenge for a position in the proper in World Cup 85 qualifying.

If they used the match against the Darmeni team as a grade, the mark they'd earn according to manager Kevin Connelly would be "incomplete."

The Stars made a serious defensive lapse when defender Charlie King slipped as he was marking Juanito Stafford and couldn't get his right boot to a cross Stafford sent that striker Craig Blackwood easily skied for and beat a leaping Carlton Sandt for a sixth minute goal that stunned a capacity crowd at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock into absolute silence. They would get caught bringing numbers forward in the second minute of first half stoppage time as Stafford faked a pass in the direction of Blackwood, which got defender Russ Howard to commit and buried a shot past Sandt, who was inadvertently screened on the play by King.

The Stars went into the dressing room at the half down 2-0, even though they quickly recovered from the earlier defensive lapse and began to take control of the match. They had the run of play, and they quickly built on the momentum some fans were concerned they'd lost once and for all in the second half, as substitute Holly Cambrio brought life to the team as she subbed for an exhausted Brady Reynolds. Connelly said Reynolds was dehydrated and was feeling woozy, but said he'd spoken to the training staff and he would be ready to go for the away match against Aimena.

"Brady has been working his arse off," Connelly said. "He was all over the pitch like usual, and it was just time for us to give him a little bit of a break and get some offence out there with Holly." Cambrio fired a rocket that Darmeni goalkeeper Hyman Campo was fortunate to get a glove on, but the ball caromed to striker Jake Campos, who promptly slammed the ball into the back of the net for a 64th minute tally that halved the Darmeni lead at 2-1.

With the clock reaching the 80th minute, Connelly sent on another offensive substitution as midfielder and team captain Clayton Wilson was subbed off for striker Mek'hi West. As he left the pitch, he handed the captain's armband to Cambrio, who then drew a penalty deep in the Darmeni box as the clock loomed in the 89th minute of play. West stood over the ball, ready to take the penalty, when he faked to his right and then lofted a cheeky shot to the left. The ball just nicked the fingertips of the diving Campo, who'd guessed correctly, but the ball was too well-placed by the substitute striker for him to get the save. The goal drew the score level at 2-2, which would prove to be the final result of the match.

So, the Stars weren't the defensive dynamos who earned three clean sheets out of four matches against a team favoured on paper to be one of two Group 7 sides to qualify for the proper, but they also weren't the team that embarrassed itself against teams they expected to easily handle in the first half of qualifying. The fact that it was a highly-ranked Darmen side that Sarzonia salvaged a point against, even though it allowed Pot 3 side Jeruselem to draw level in the table, although slightly ahead based on tiebreakers, was of some comfort to Connelly.

"I'm not 100 percent satisfied that we played our best football today," he said. "However, considering the fact that we showed great character to come back and we showed vastly improved form against a team with Darmen's pedigree, I'll take the result."

He didn't have to say it, but knowing Connelly as well as most of the assembled media did, he would once again warn his team about the "trap match" the Aimeni side could potentially prove to be ahead of Sarzonia's group stage finale against Jeruselem in Dave Wilson Stadium.

As for their final home match of first half qualifying, Connelly said stadium officials would defer to local ordinances surrounding indecent exposure and whether or not Woodstock City Police would enforce provisions. Woodstock Mayor Claudia Alta had no comment on whether anyone from the Jeruselem royal family contacted her about making arrangements in terms of clothing optional viewing.

"That's something I'm not at liberty to discuss," she said.

Group 7
Welzat 1–0 Acronius
Nephara 4–1 Delaclava
Great Lausitz 0–2 Jeruselem
Huayramarca 3–4 Aimena
Sarzonia 2–2 Darmen
Competitive Solitaire 1–0 South Charlia

-  Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Nephara                                      10    9   1   0    37    6  +31    28
 2 Jeruselem                                    10    6   1   3    29   20   +9    19
 3 Sarzonia                                     10    6   1   3    24   21   +3    19
 4 Darmen                                       10    5   3   2    24   18   +6    18
 5 Welzat                                       11    5   3   3    14   14    0    18
 6 Acronius                                     10    4   1   5    20   20    0    13
 7 Simpralia                                    10    4   1   5    17   18   −1    13
 8 Aimena                                       10    4   1   5    14   24  −10    13
 9 Huayramarca                                  10    3   3   4    21   22   −1    12
10 Competitive Solitaire                        10    3   2   5    11   22  −11    11
11 Great Lausitz                                10    3   1   6    13   18   −5    10
12 Delaclava                                    10    2   3   5    21   27   −6     9
13 South Charlia                                11    1   1   9     8   23  −15     4

SCHEDULE:
MD 1: @ Delaclava^ W, 6-4
MD 2: v. Acronius L, 0-2
MD 3: @ Simpralia (Glory Park, capacity 122,000) W, 5-3
MD 4: v. Welzat L, 2-4
MD 5: @ Nephara L, 1-4 (Farham Arena, Sabrefell, capacity 88,046)
MD 6: v. Great Lausitz W, 1-0
MD 7: @ Huayamarca (Estadio Olímpico del Oriente, Sechura, capacity 26,000) W, 4-2
MD 8: BYE
MD 9: v. Competitive Solitaire W, 1-0
MD 10: @ South Charlia W, 2-0
MD 11: v. Darmen D, 2-2
MD 12: @ Aimena
MD 13: v. Jeruselem
OFF DAY
MD 14: v. Delaclava (game played at Pride of Manchester, capacity 110,000)
MD 15: @ Acronius
MD 16: v. Simpalia
MD 17: @ Welzat (Sir James Tretol Memorial Stadium, capacity 19,595)
MD 18: v. Nephara
MD 19: @ Great Lausitz
MD 20: v. Huayramarca
MD 21: BYE
MD 22: @ Competitive Solitaire
MD 23: v. South Charlia
MD 24: @ Darmen (Stadio Rushmore, Johnho, capacity 70,000)
MD 25: v. Aimena
MD 26: @ Jeruselem (Dazza Dallas Stadium)

^Match was played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

Note: Except for the match in Manchester, Delaclava, all of Sarzonia's home matches will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, capacity 105,900.

[Hampton Island]

(Phone Call Between Stadium CEO and Freestyle Mobility CEO)

Stadium: Good morning, I would like to remind you that I own and operate this team.

FM: I am aware of that. What is the problem?

Stadium: You took on the sponsorship of this team and are funding the manager without my authorization. That should have gone through me first.

FM: We received proper documentation from Hannah Sanders to do what we have done. She is working on your behalf, per that documentation.

Stadium: Look, when I gave her that it was just intended to authorize things like meals when they were on the road. Not to do everything that she is doing.

FM: We make sure to double check everything we examine in terms of authorization, and what we saw was more then enough. Is there a problem with us looking to get a bigger role with this team? I would think that most organizations would love for a company to pour money into it.

Stadium: I am happy to have you on board, it is just that I think you need to be talking to me before you do some of the things that she is doing. She is trying to get the team to move games to Marquette, and we all know what’s going to happen then.

FM: I have never had a conversation with her about moving games to Marquette. She can’t do that anyway, tickets have already been sold to these games.

Stadium: It is her end game to get back at me. Right now, we are not on good terms, and she is saying things to the team trying to make me look like an idiot. She doesn’t realize that there are a couple players in that locker room who are telling me some of the things that she is saying. I do not want to look like an idiot, and especially not to be outdone by some 21-year old that belongs in a Starlight Suites advertisement beside her clueless bimbo friends Brittany and Brianna Carter.

FM: Sir, that’s a very unprofessional thing for you to say and Freestyle Mobility wants no part of any grudge match that you are having with her.

Stadium: Sorry, but there is so much going with her, and what she wants to do to me that I can’t hold back. Look, you guys are a perfect sponsor and I am glad to have you on board. I just do not want games going to Marquette.

FM: Well, because we are doing this for us and not for you or for Hannah we are going to keep on doing it. We have a signed agreement with Miss Sanders now, who was authorized, per the documentation, to make the agreement on your behalf. Our target market loves watching these players, and it helps us sell more products. That’s what we are here for. Personally, if it happens here, in Marquette, in Ellicott City, or in other city or town on the Island, I don’t mind. I am sure a man of your business sense can understand that.

Stadium: Maybe just not give her so much money.

FM: Speaking of which, you should be ashamed with the contract you have with her to coach your team.

Stadium: It’s bonus-laden, relax.

FM: Yeah, she showed me the contract. She had no idea what the market value truly was for an international soccer coach at this level, and you exploited that to a disgusting level. You don’t need to worry about it, anyway, because it was our money as an additional bonus. You are still bound my your contract by the way, our money to her is additional. That $5,000,000 bonus if the team qualifies for the World Cup, yes, probably not going to happen, but if it does, that’s all you, pal!

Stadium: Who’s side are you guys on?

FM: Our side. Not yours, not hers. Though right now we lean much more towards her.

Stadium: Well just don’t forget who runs this team!

FM: I won’t. And I won’t forget who is authorized to make major decisions, either. Goodbye!

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS MAKE COACHING CHANGE

by Brianne Henry,

Prior to the match against Saintland, it was announced that the Rockets will be having a new manager for the rest of the campaign. Former manager Miguel Hernandez was fired prior to the contest in Centralia against Legalese, and the manager of the Centralia Firebirds filled in to lead the team to what was probably their best game of the qualifying campaign. However, Gary Whitten undefeated record as manager of the Rockets will remain in tact as he was thanked by the Newmanistan Soccer Association for stepping in. It was never expected to be an arrangement of more then just the one game, and that is how it played out.

We reported that there was a new man ready to take over the team, and that there was an agreement of contractual terms with person, but as it was not officially signed, his name was not revealed. We now know who that man is. That would be Michael Starre, from Drawkland. Starre’s coaching career began in the Global Cup of Soccer, and first led the Kick Corps in the World Cup in World Cup 77, a competition that they would successfully qualify for. That accomplishment allowed Drawkland to be a part of a very small list of nations that qualified for the Cup in their first attempt. He would continue to have success in getting Drawkland to qualify for the World Cup, doing so from World Cup 77-80. After failing to qualify for World Cup 81, Starre would be relieved of his managerial duties, and has not coached at the international level since then. He has an impressive overall international record of 76-29-35, and now hopes to add to that as he returns to the international scene, doing so on this planet, and within the Rockets.

“Mister Starre being interested in this position was a great boost for us,” James O’Donnell, a spokesperson for the NSA said at the announcement, “His credentials are top notch. All of us at the NSA told ourselves that if we went with an international candidate it would have to be someone who has experience in getting nations to qualify for the World Cup. Sticking with Newmanistanian coaches to try and accomplish this has not worked out for this, and the Emperor gave us the message pretty strongly when he said that things were unacceptable. Michael Starre has a tough task with this team right now, but with him as our leader going forward, our chances of qualifying for World Cup 86 just got a lot better. Now, the team is tasked with the need to overcome a very tough challenge, but not necessarily insurmountable, as hard as that might be to believe. We can be one of the stories of the tournament if we make a charge at the top two and find our way to qualification. Mr. Starre has done one thing they called impossible already.”

Michael Starre is known for using a 3-3-4 formation and a very offensive tactic. Presently, Newmanistan utilizes a 4-3-3, but the attack has not been that great up to this point. It should not be impossible adjustment for Starre to make, but we will see if he goes with the same personnel. According to Derek Schaefer, “I would expect him to make changes. You don’t come into a new team like he is doing and then do everything the same exact way. We are getting to the midpoint soon, so we will have some time to adapt to his system then, but there were be a bunch of games right now where we all will have to learn to work with one another.”

Starre took over the team in a tough situation, making his debut for the Rockets in Saintland. Tough to coach on short notice with a team you are just learning about, and then to have to do that in a culture that is present in Saintland, is not an ideal situation. In this match, we saw the team do much of what it has done previously in qualifying, and that resulted in another draw. Yet another game where we squander points but are left analyzing the effort and not seeing any big problems. This is why Michael Starre is going to need to make radical changes with this team. He is also expected to bring some personnel he is close with to serve as assistant coaches with him from Drawkland.

Something had to give, and whether you agree with the firing of Hernandez, it’s a done deal now. Michael Starre should be a great manager for us, and perhaps he is the answer to finally getting us to the World Cup, if not for this one, but for the next one.