World Cup 85 || RP Thread

by **Zwangzug** » Fri May 29, 2020 4:02 pm

Roses are red
The colorless ideas that sleep furiously are green
Words have semantic value--
Just kidding, that's "mean."

Scores for MD7, groups 9-15.

by **Xanneria** » Fri May 29, 2020 4:05 pm

Let's hope for a lot of Yes! versus Noooooooo
By Steve Stevenson

XANNERIA - After this weeks qualifier being the bye week, it's time to face Noooooooo, a team that is a mysterios as the nation the team comes from is. We know that Nooooooooooo is a blue and yellow clad team looking for a shock victory over a strong opponent, so Xanneria doesn't want to be that opponent. Especially given the game that happened versus Lo Santano. A game that still ended in points but in return will have brought Group rival A game that started off as a defensive grind with a 1-0 scoreline at the hour mark turned into a fast pace thriller when a penalty kick from a Lo Sanatino midfielder tied up the game in the 77th and it ended 2-2. Devon'elle Laymore proved to be his ol' great self once again after scoring both goals including a real blinder of a shot that curved perfectly to a slight angle just enough for the bal to brush by the tips of the Lo Santano goalie.

Coach Myrone Rhule had the following to say about the game in performence most called "Bland and Uninspired"

coach Rhule wrote:Well coming off with a point is really the only good thing about this game. A 1-0 score after an hour of football is not a Xannerian game! Plus you know letting 2 goals in in 12 minutes is also not fun. the last 14 days have been spent under heavy training and we can only hope for the best results.

by **Kita-Hinode** » Fri May 29, 2020 4:32 pm

The news anchor spoke in a rather energetic tone of the news that an Alien adjustment center had been established after the increase of tourism from bodies above in the stars. By now, it was night time and both Hinode and Canvas were having dinner on the couch. Whenever Hinode thought about it, he could recall his mother insisting that the family ate on the couch during night-time. It was a way to bring them all together: both him, his two older sisters, his older brother, his father and herself. By now, the family had been somewhat split up and he was the only one still living there with his parents but it did feel rather nice to have some new company. Hinode looked at the alien girl who seemed to be more focused on the broccoli on her plate than the news. The kitten leaped onto the couch, lying between the two before closing her eyes, falling asleep with a traditionally cute expression on her feline face. For all Hinode could imagine, the kitten had gotten accustomed to the alien and both new additions to the household (even if Canvas was only there temporarily) were in good terms. Alas, he decided to break the silence between the two. "So... Canvas, excited for your first class tomorrow?" The girl nodded, now fully aware of the meaning of a school and already having some expectations. "Yes. I wonder what their reaction will be." He chuckled, taking a bite of the beef, chewing and swallowing it before replying. "Odd answer from someone who just told Headmistress Valanora not to worry, you know." Now Canvas was the one laughing. "I'm not worried about being welcomed, people here are already used to people from outer space. What I'm curious to know is whether their reaction will be good or..." The dark-haired boy observed her, thinking. "You're not thinking they'll give you to some bad guys, right? Because I swear that my friends wouldn't-" Canvas shook her head. "No, I don't take your friends for hunters. I just hope that my links to a royal family will not lead to some sort of imagined entitlement... and if I'll freeze up instead of talking with them."

Hinode put his hands on his lap after placing his plate on a small table near the couch. "I can't speak for you but I feel you'll like them. They're a bit of a motley crew." Canvas rose an eyebrow, looking to the side. "Like that band you have a poster of?" Both started to laugh again, Hinode shaking his head. "Nah, we were... uh... how did Mr. Osarius call us again... Rambunctious, I think." She rose an eyebrow. "That's apparently bad." She pondered for a second if she should ask further. "What did you guys even do for such an accusation, if I may ask?" He shrugged, grinning afterwards. "We raided Class 205 girls' gym lockers while they had volleyball practice." Canvas had a blush on her face, blinking. What could they have gone for in such a place, in any case? What were their intentions? And so she asked. Hinode, unsurprisingly, remained very much happy about it. "Their class rep called us names after four of us beat them in a game of Risk. It was this girl, red-hair, grating voice. Nathalie or something. When we ignored her, she got some of us suspended under some bogus claims. Soooo... we kinda thought about getting their spare panties, tie them together like a rope and use them as a scarf for the statue of the school's mascot." As Canvas looked even more embarrassed, Hinode seemed to be cracking up in laughter. The kitten quickly woke up and slapped his cheek with her tail, promptly landing on his lap. Silence followed. "...Ahem. So." The boy still had a bit of a grin on his face. "We actually pulled it off perfectly. They only found about it at the end of the year too..."

The boy shrugged, crossing his arms. "Which meant we missed out on the end of the year beach trip. Still managed to play the entire footy season." She looked at him with a judgemental expression on her face. "That's not nice, Hinode." Hinode, for his part, shrugged. "That was our first year there. Guess we matured a bit but I don't know if I'm apologetic over it still. That Nathaniela girl deserved it if you ask me." She smirked, placing her hand over his head, messing his hair a bit further than the usual. "Can I trust you on this?" Hinode nodded. "The guardian of an alien princess can't really bother himself with some annoying girl's panties, surely."

by **Valladares** » Fri May 29, 2020 4:42 pm

TO: SDF-COM, VRA-COM, VRAF-COM, VRN-COM, DNS-COM, All RMoD dependencies
CC: RMotI, ROP-COM
FROM: RMoD
ENCRYPTION: MAXIMUM, TOP SECRET

WARNING: THIS FILE WILL BE DELETED WITHIN 15 MINUTES AFTER ITS OPENING. PLEASE DO NOT MAKE COPIES OF IT. IF YOU WISH TO TAKE NOTES ON ITS CONTENT, PLEASE MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW ALL INTERNAL PROTOCOLS OUTLINED BY THE DEPARTAMENTO NACIONAL DE SEGURIDAD (DNS). THE CONTENT OF THIS FILE WILL BE KEPT BY THE ARCHIVE OF THE ROYAL MINISTRY OF DEFENSE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE.

ROYAL MINISTRY OF DEFENSE
INTERNAL BULLETIN RMoD 942.205.20.22 - 29 MAY 2020

The Royal Ministry of Defense wishes to give a fraternal greeting to all the receivers of this weekly bulletin, which is aimed at reporting on national defense activities carried out during the most recent week. This week's bulletin will give you insight on five main developments:

Westlands border findings: The headquarters of the VRA's VIII Division report that during a routine examination of the no-man's land zone near the Valladar-Darmeni border carried out by troops of its division in recent days, a series of tunnels excavated into Darmeni territory were found along the common border, west of the town of Fenway. Once this Ministry became aware of the situation, an official letter was sent to the Chiefs of the DNS and Customs in the Westlands state requesting that they open an investigation as soon as possible to verify the origin of such excavations and to avoid possible exchanges of people and smuggled goods that might have been carried out illegally between both nations. Another official letter was sent to the Royal Ministry of Foreign Affairs, requesting them to contact their counterparts in the Republic of Darmen for further information on the matter. Similarly, DNS units based in Rogerton, Darmen, have been ordered to verify a possible involvement of irregular Valladar forces based on the other side of the border. In the meantime, a more thorough search for other tunnels has been performed, with all findings duly dynamited and destroyed by Valladar troops. Patrols on the Valladar side of the border have been increased to avoid the appearance of further excavations along the no-man's land zone and the fenced barriers marking the border.

Equipment agreements: An agreement of military co-operation between the United Kingdom of Valladares and delegates from the Grearish Union was signed this week in Metropolis. The agreement, which for the time being is restricted to purchases of military equipment between both countries, contemplates the purchase by the Grearish Union of 100 units of FJ-11 aircraft, Cyclon class, and 80 units of FJ-12 aircraft, Thunder class, which should be delivered within a period of one year. AeroJet has already been contacted to fulfill the order, committing to a shorter period for delivery. In return, the Ministry purchased 40 units of Critical Operations Craft - Mark I and II (henceforth to be known as COC-Mk1 and COC-Mk2) patrol boats from the Grearish Union for use for the VRN for patrolling of the Danubio river from Metropolis to its mouth in Westporte. In total, 20 COC-Mk1 and 20 COC-Mk2 units were purchased, and will be delivered to the VRN in groups of five within this year.

Terra Henrius military exercises: This dependency hereby confirms that the military exercises performed by the Self-Defense Forces along with their counterparts from the Royal Kingdom of Quebec in Terra Henrius, Quebec, have been concluded successfully. This event gave us the opportunity to carry out an important knowledge exchange on battling tactics and methods, weaponry and equipment with a foreign military force with experience in actual warfare, especially between the VRAF and the RQAF. A new deployment plan for a hypothetical self-defense war was tested, considering two scenarios: one with belligerent enemies east of the mainland and the other one with enemy troops north and west of the Westlands state. Further details on those deployment plans can be requested to SDF-COM through its encrypted channels. Two system improvements to FJ-12 aircraft were successfully tested, with fuel and weight performance being optimized. Additionally, a new version of the BJ-5 bomber aircraft with improved and optimized specifications entered into service. Five units of this new version of the BJ-5 participated in strategic bombing exercises with notable success. Defensive naval maneuvers were not performed; those will be carried out in a future exercise on Valladar territorial waters.

Potential chocolate-based enhancer: Furthermore, during the military exercises in Terra Henrius, Valladar forces came in close contact with the popular Atlantian Oceania-based chocolate drink Cocoa-bo. In case some of you are unaware, Cocoa-bo has come into international controversy as of late due to allegations originating from several countries suggesting it is a performance-enhancing drug used by athletes in several sports, most notably association football, to dop themselves. While there is still no conclusive evidence stating that Cocoa-bo is an enhancing supplement with potentially harmful effects to the human body, it has been reported to us that Valladar troops drinking Cocoa-bo during their stay in Terra Henrius have been shown to be more receptive, attentive and to carry out their routines at a faster pace than soliders who did not drink it. This Ministry therefore suggests that further tests on this drink and its potential use for military purposes are performed, and has sent an official letter to the Royal Ministry of Health regarding the matter.

Mega Bomba: Last but not least, this dependency informs that the final test of the VHB-419 weapon, codename Mega Bomba, was successfully carried out in the highest level of secrecy. According to reports from the SDF command in charge of the Terra Henrius military exercises, the bomb was detonated 4,000 m above an isolated, uninhabited area in western Terra Henrius last Thursday. The bomb, weighing 25,000 kg, was flown to the chosen site by a BJ-5 bomber aircraft, slightly modified for the purpose of the test, and released 45 minutes after takeoff from a height of 10,500 m. The bomb detonated at 10:46 local time, and by the time of detonation the BJ-5 was already far enough for the shock wave to have affected it greatly. While the aircraft dropped by nearly 1,000 metres in mid-air due to the wave, it was eventually able to recover and land safely in Gotham. The fireball reached a width of nearly 6.5 km at its maximum and a height of roughly 9 km in the sky, while the mushroom cloud was about 20 km high. Bhangmeter results and other measure instruments indicated the bomb yield was about 45 megatons of TNT. Seismographs based in the Terra Henrius capital, measured a 4.5 magnitude quake, while most buildings in the city reported shattered windows by the expansive wave of the blast, and some others were reported to have collapsed altogether. It has to be pointed out that civilian inhabitants of Gotham blamed this on the quake, and not on a nuclear blast they didn't know was taking place. All in all, the test was a success. However, everyone should be reminded that the Mega Bomba is to be used only as a defensive and last-resort weapon. Therefore no mass production is expected to be performed for the time being.

This is all for the moment, stay tuned for the report for week 23. Thanks for your attention and keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Roberto Llinás
Minister of Defense of Valladares

by **Huayramarca** » Fri May 29, 2020 6:05 pm

Huayramarca struggles but earns a key victory against Greater Lausitz.

Written by: Marcelo Loor.
14/03/1980 - 16:26

“Huayramarca netted a decent result yesterday against Greater Lausitz away, despite the score, there are some things that should be analyzed as soon as possible in order to correct some issues that may be harmful for later games, since those problems are related to the defensive scheme presented by Omar Caicedo. Meanwhile, the wingers seem to be in great shape as of late, especially Gabriel Sayritupac and its splendid night with a hat trick.”

On the past five games of World Cup Qualifier, Huayramarca has proven to be a team that might have some decent resources, but may suffer sometimes due to lack of experience, specially at the end of the matches where they seem to receive the most goals, approximately, 33.33% of goals scored against for Huayramarca had happened in the last 25 minutes, with today’s goal against at the 90th minute, this is the second of those goals scored in the added time. This particular point is something that may make a manager think and react in order to do some correctives and find a way how to solve those, considering that most of those games, the advantage that the Condors had were small and involved into a loss of two points against Nephara. Make the numbers and you’ll find that there’s room to improve.

Not everything is subject to be included into statistics as a matter of fact, there are things that should be celebrated and that fact is that Huayramarca managed to get another victory as visitor against Greater Lausitz, there’s some merit to get that 3-4 result in an unknown city at a nation with less to no information available to be used for a match report like this. Well, as I got paid to do a match report, I might give my best on writing one, but there’s no information about the local team since the referee and the logistic committee on charge of having such a basic information lost the pen drive containing the information of Greater Lausitz, and a dog ate the sheet that helped as a support.

With bizarre situations happening as early as 30 minutes may be before the match, it seemed that this match would have some weird circumstances that could possibly alter the logical development of a match that was supposed to be normal. Huayramarca jumped off to the pitch, while the local team was already awaiting and drinking some water on the field, yes! No protocol was held as the usual you are accustomed to see, the Huayramarcan squad saluted the referees and the Greater Lausitz team rejected the salute, the Condors, as matter of education decided to salute despite being completely ignored. The referee launched the coin into the air and the Huayramarcans won by picking tails, then, they decided to pick up the ball and go on to attack as they were angry by the lack of education and fair play values showed by the local team. Omar Caicedo refused to salute the Greater Lausitz manager and went to the bench instead, to write down issues that may help him to improve the game later on.

The match began with Ian Mamani kicking off the ball and trying to go forward with a pass to Bryan Tello, the forward decided to stick up with the N°5 ball and dribbled two of the Lausitzian defenders, then gave a pass to Gabriel Sayritupac, he held the ball for some time and gave a cross to Abraham Mendoza, who was rushing through the other wing, Mendoza took the ball and cleared the pressure with a single self-pass, then he got into the area and shot , but the Lausitz goalkeeper saved the ball with comfort. Huayramarca was showing some good intentions early on the game, the consign was to punch first and get the advantage for the rest of the game, which could be drivable depending on the mood or attitude that the local team could show after that potential goal against.

The Greater Lausitz squad was awaiting for a chance to recover the ball, Ian Mamani was holding the ball at the 6th minute and was suddenly tackled (a fair tackle) by a midfielder of the local team, said player retained the ball and decided to pass it to his forward, the latter hadn’t a clear angle to shot, hence he awaited for Kevin Quispe, Kevin decided to press the forward, he did it well at first instance, but then the forward gave a backwards pass to a random player, random had a clear window to shoot from 2 meters outside the box, Juan Mamani noted it and he was able to deflect the shot, but there was a pseudo-random player near the penalty spot, the pseudo kicked the ball and it entered into the goal, Huayramarca was down at the 6th minute and Omar Caicedo was uncomfortable by the outcome of that play, since the Lausitzian player had enough time to await for a teammate and pass the ball for the goal. Quispe was called by Caicedo to talk, he apparently got reprimanded, Quispe left after the talk quite annoyed with the manager. Not the best beginning for the team, to be fair, but it may be something that could raise awareness into the team to don’t leave blank zones into the defense.

Huayramarca was trying to assemble after the goal, Omar Caicedo asked the players to remain in the original plan in order to attack the local team in a movement that could appeal to the ideal of persistence is the key to achieve success! The local team was holding the ball in a clear attempt to take control of the match and having the best creative opportunities to strike back Huayramarca as soon as possible. At the 15th minute, the Lausitzian team had another opportunity coming from one of their midfielders, who took a kick from the goalkeeper after an offside was sanctioned against Bryan Tello a minute earlier. The local forward kept control of the ball and passed it to a winger in order to provide a clearer pass to the second striker of Lausitz, said striker took the ball and shot a formidable volley that was saved by Juan Mamani at the second attempt, since he let the ball to rebound before making sure to grab it with enough confidence. The locals were decided to strike once again, but they were forgetting a key aspect to secure a result, the defense.

Omar Caicedo would notice that Lausitz was forgetting the fact that football is a matter of defending, he instructed Nicolás Allauca to press harder, something that he failed to do at the first minutes of said request, instead, Orlando Mina sent a filtered pass to Abraham Mendoza, who managed to leave on the floor a Lausitzian left wing defender while running, he tried to shot from afar and the keeper sent it to the corner. Mendoza quickly took the ball in order to kick the corner, he sent the ball to the penalty area, Felipe Fernández was on the right spot and in the right time to nod the ball in the opposite post that the goalkeeper was taking care of, Fernández sent that solid nod to the bottom of the goal in what was the Huayramarcan equalizer at the 18th minute of the match. Some relaxation was happening on the squad, the players now were comfortable on the fact that they wouldn’t be trailing the scoreboard for now, while they were celebrating, some flares were thrown to the field and nearly impacted our goal scorer, he quickly turned the flare off by launching it to the sideline.

The threats of rain were visible on the sky, those turned into a reality at the 25th minute of the match, by that moment, Huayramarca managed to turn things a bit close in terms of possession, still, they would be trailing for 10%, since it was 55% vs 45% in favor of Lausitz. Huayramarca decided to retain the ball for the remainder of the 20s and opted to not attack, in order to earn some confidence and try to seek some weak spots of their rival, Caicedo tried to push them forward in order to make the second goal for the Condors, but that wouldn’t happen so soon with Ian Mamani conservatively playing in order to minimize the speed and tempo of the game, while Nicolás Allauca was protecting Ian more in order to make sure that the Lausitzian mid wouldn’t try to recover the ball and cause more harm to the Condor’s defense.

Under the same dynamic we arrived into the 35th minute, Ian Mamani was now trying to put into practice what he learned of the past 10 minutes, the Lausitzian central midfielder tried to steal the ball to Mamani, he did but it was Orlando Mina who managed to stop him quite quickly, the “giant costeño” as known by some fans, sent a quick cross to Gabriel Sayritupac, the right winger decided to run through its side, he gave himself two passes while entering to the area, he took rid of the central defender and then comfortably shot to the left post, faking the goalkeeper and scoring the second goal for Huayramarca. A nice goal if you analyze it with some pause, since how Sayritupac had a quick reaction to sent the ball near the goalkeeper with enough force to let him unable to save it, adding that he might haven’t expected the ball to be sent right there. 39th minute and Huayramarca was 1-2 up.

Things wouldn’t change for the remainder of the first half, with only two minutes left, another goal would be scored for the Huayramarcans and then earn a comfortable 1-3 lead against Greater Lausitz. Nicolás Allauca decided to pass the ball to Carlos Vilca, back at the defense, Vilca ran through the wing and decided to pass the ball to Sayritupac, who made a tandem with the right side defender while reaching the box, Vilca assisted Sayritupac with a quick pass through the central defenders, Sayritupac entered onside and then shot to the right post. Lautaro Huamán patted Omar Caicedo while reading some notes that could be useful for the second half, although, Sayritupac’s brace could have changed some notes and the mood of Caicedo for the mid time talk.

The Greater Lausitz squad made three substitutions before the beginning of the second half, while Huayramarca was comfortable without doing one, since the overall performance of the team was nice since the Lausitzians scored that goal early on the first half. Caicedo didn’t made any tactical change to the scheme he decided to field for this game, instead, asked the players to keep in that way in order to give the final blow to the rivals. The Lausitzian fans were annoyed on how their team wasn’t having a great afternoon, since most of the fans were on the roofless stadium tolerating the rain in order to see the match. Perhaps they might not be passionate with football at all, but disgruntlement was noticeable at some, who were throwing bottles at the pitch while the local stadium audio was telling them not to do that.

The second half was now on, the sun was out and the guns were out too, Huayramarca had to seek for some chances while the Lausitz team could go full-pressing for the second half. The locals took the ball and kicked-off for the last half of the match, the midfielders were some highly positioned compared to where they were on the first half, their manager asked their three substitutes to move more efficiently compared to what the other players did during the first half. The local fans were pressing for some good football in favor of their players, things were quite hard for the Huayramarcans since that idea for pressing turned into some violence, with a midfielder kicking Ian Mamani all of a sudden, the Huayramarcan mid chased him to ask what was wrong with him, the referee gave a yellow card to the Lausitzian mid. 56th minutes into the match and things were decontrolling a bit, the referee was loosening its authority on the players minute by minute, the locals were playing hard and the Huayramarcans were about to react violently, but they were calmed down by Omar Caicedo while trying to face the Lausitzians.

62nd minute of the match, the Huayramarcans were recovering the ball for some time spans, they didn’t had a clear chance during the second half nor the locals, the game was turning into a brawl before Ian Mamani took the ball and gave a pass to Bryan Tello, the striker controlled the ball with enough technique to move forward the midfielders and advanced some meters, he managed to find Sayritupac, who was lifting his arms and claiming for the ball, he received it and had his chance to face the left side defender, who avoided with a clumsy move where he almost fell to the ground, Sayritupac managed to recover from that and advanced to the penalty spot, he kicked the ball towards goal and the goalkeeper saved it, he left the ball rebounding towards Sayritupac, this time he didn’t missed the chance and lifted the ball over the goalkeeper, leaving him chanceless while he saw how the 1-4 was slowly entering into the net. Sayritupac was now crowning a successfully day, with three goals and giving the Condors a quite decent outcome for the second half in order to keep things relaxed for them. Things would get quite worse for them, since the local team would decide to be harsh against the Huayramarcans when dueling for the ball’s possession.

We were getting near the climax of the second half, the Lausitzian team decided to deploy a more offensive game before Huayramarca could try to finish the game for good, they left aside violence and decided to be harsher within the limits that the rules provide. At the 69th minute, one of the Lausitzian defenders robbed a ball while Nicolás Allauca was giving a pass to Mendoza, The defender controlled the ball and gave the pass to the midfielder, this player decided to give a 55 meter cross to the striker, who managed to control the ball while a passive Kevin Quispe forgot to mark the player assigned to him, Felipe Fernández swoop in vain and the striker was able to get into the penalty spot and shoot to goal, Juan Mamani wasn’t able to save the ball despite deflecting it to the post and then making it enter by inertia. 2-4 was the score, Lautaro Huamán took his hands to the head and frowned after the goal, while Ian Mamani asked his teammates to remain focused into the remainder of the game.

Focus is an important factor for any activity you do, specially in team sports when rivals might be sometimes unpredictable in their behavior and activities, hence, a continuous analysis of their moves should be made, something that Huayramarca was lacking completely. This might turn into a dangerous thing for any team falling on overconfidence or into the comfort zone, hence, some pressure would be useful to do while the players react, but Caicedo didn’t pressed at all, perhaps thinking into the next game at the Huayramarcan Jungle capital of Sechura against Sarzonia. By the fact of this being a large qualifier, every mistake could be costly if pondered properly in the future, every point, every goal count into this.

Omar Caicedo decided to do some substitutions, surprisingly, Ian Mamani and Bryan Tello were sent to the bench, fortunately no one complained about it and dealt with it properly. Félix Huamán and Mario Ccahuantico entered to the field in order to refresh a bit some key areas for the idea of Caicedo. The situation wasn’t unfavorable, in turn it was somewhat favorable since there were two different scenarios: First one, Huayramarca taking the ball and trying to desperate the rivals in order to try to score another goal or a couple more, who knows? Second one, a toxic motivational boost from the rivals that might turn into something harmful for the Huayramarcans in terms of goal scoring situations or even goals.

Ccahuantico might offer the team some speed and technique compared to what Bryan Tello has to offer, Mario is known for being really creative in his ways to harm rival defenses, having Nicolás Allauca as support would be helpful, while some large cross from Orlando Mina would help enough in order to make some chances. With Félix Huamán, some defensive sense would be a gain, he might be creative as Ian Mamani is, but he tends to worry about defense, hence he’s prone to think his moves at least twice before kicking the ball away from his feet. The 4-2-3-1 of “El Huayco” would remain unaltered for the rest of the match, Caicedo was stubborn on keeping it in order to score more goals via counterattacks, despite the rival wasn’t pressing that much that would leave the counter as the only option able to execute, that attitude from Caicedo wasn’t normal from him, since he tends to be flexible in his schemes and his desire for being unpredictable feeds even more his needs for constant changes on his XI.

The last twenty minutes would be pretty normal and nothing particularly contested from both sides, contrary to the expectations from the local fans, they seemed how Greater Lausitz remained calm and without a real intention to represent a real threat for the Huayramarcan side, who decided to keep control of the ball for some minutes before trying some chances or even force to fouls that might turn into beneficial set-pieces for the Condors. At the 83rd minute, Félix Huamán received a cross from Vilca, Huamán thought he would need to handle the ball for some time before giving a pass, he let the Lausitzian midfielders to come near him, when they were close, he passed a filtered ball to Mendoza, that pass left him without mark at all, hence at free will to attack while the central back was trying to cover that abandoned zone, the situation itself was forcing for a mistake from the central back, Mendoza decided to pass the ball to Ccahuantico, he received it but he was clearly offside, a good chance was being wasted!

Those missed chances are prone to be paid sooner than later, Huayramarca would experience that two times in the remaining 6 minutes of game. At the 86th, Lausitz captain handed the ball to the left winger, he decided to run as fast as he can in order to avoid pressure from Felipe Fernández, the Huayramarcan swept the winger and occasioned a dangerous foul near the area. A set pieces was the chance that Lausitz was having at the feet of its captain, he crossed the ball, a defender from Lausitz nodded it dangerously but Juan Mamani took the ball before a goal could happen and put Huayramarca into serous problems for the end of the match.

Two minutes were added for the match, a lead of two goals would seem enough at the moment for any team, as visitors, fatigue was appearing into the Huayramarcans, it was noticeable and they were desiring for the end of the match, Lausitz wasn’t, they were seeking for another goal that could make the defeat more digestible, at the 91st minute, the forward from the local team saw an empty space near Carlos Vilca, he went there and passed the ball towards the second striker, he defined pretty well and managed to send the ball past a reactionless Juan Mamani, it was 3-4 for the locals, Huayramarca earned the win after that but the situation was something with room for improve to the Condors, who should get better stamina for the ending of matches like this one, perhaps the trip may affect and it would be somewhat understandable due to the 15 hours flight from Québec to this nation.

As the cherry of the cake for weird situations, the bus transporting the Lausitzian team vanished, they had to walk to their houses or ask for a taxi. Apparently, the bus driver was angry at their performance that he opted to rage by leaving them despite the agreement reached with the Lausitzian Football Federation. Despite that, the fans overall weren’t that angry, they applauded their team as respect for the last effort they did, even considering that they were 1-4 at the 62nd minute. The locals have a decent team, while Huayramarca needs to focus better while defending, try to resist more and avoid committing mistakes that could be hard and cause several problems into the next games. At least, the Condors have a break from competition before returning to the action at the Estadio Olímpico de Oriente, at the Huayramarcan Jungle capital of Sechura, with 26,000 fans eager to watch some football against a reputable team such as Sarzonia, a team that wishes to revendicate their past glories with great football, granted, they have a nice footballing school with some offensive game and passing from them.

by **Chromatika** » Fri May 29, 2020 6:16 pm

Chromatik City Courier
Jordan Lawless, Sports Columnist

Group 3 Matchday 6: Eura 2-1 Chromatika @ Eura
Chromatik Scorers: Dragana '49
Starting XI (4-2-3-1): Ria; Xiao - de Aea - Will - Ilya; Armageddon - Dias; Victoriane - Mora - Dragana; Andisori (C).
Substitutes: Reynolds -> Dragana ('52), Limones -> Dias ('68), Nocturne -> Rowles ('72)
Projected Starting XI vs. (134) Northwest Kalactin (1-2-2): Williams; Xiao - Anderson - Friedman - Austic; Limones - Kim, M.S.; Thorben (C) - Kuzami - Conrad; Sierra.

EURA -

An expected result of sorts, but Jazmin Dragana's short strike was outdone by John Fletcher's brace, and Chromatika fell to 1-0-5 in the qualifying phase of this 85th edition of the World Cup.

It was a spirited effort for the Chromatiks, but not one that ended up ultimately being fruitful.

Just how undone are the Chromatiks by this loss?

This graph shows that a team needs to get at least 61.1% of points to have a chance of being second, or score forty-four points. Currently, Chromatika has three points. That would require forty-one points, or at least fourteen more wins. A bit crazy. The average percentage of points needed in the last ten World Cups was 69.8%, which in the World Cup figures out to be 50 points, or sixteen wins out of the next eighteen.

There is no room for error.

by **New Lusitania and the Algarves** » Fri May 29, 2020 6:31 pm

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 85

FOREST FINDS THE THIRD
New Lusitania 3-3 Jeckland
@ Estádio Dom Dinis, Leiria (Att: 34 875)

Into the forests of the Beiras as Leiria welcomed the people of Jeckland. Both teams had been on weak form as of late and both sides were looking for the moment of overturn in their fortunes. New Lusitania made put Nevais back in position as Paciente made his way into the squad permanently due to Silveira's injury. Jeckland also made a few changes as their line-up would consist of Clemens in goal, Pain, Gilbert, Lovell and Hodson in defence. Blanchard, Graves and Sanderson were on duty in the middle of the pitch as they'd supply Dane, Stack and Martel. As the afternoon continued, the colourful, playful light of the Dom Dinis Stadium added something to the atmosphere of a bright game. The whistle went underway with both teams in their home kit. Fernando fired the first big shot of the day as the fingertips of Clemens proved to be determined in not letting it through. Paciente attempted to shoot it back, but was impeded by defence.
Later on, a foul was committed by Lovell in a compromising position - Veiga would offer to take this one. Sliding past the wall, the ball would find itself on Daniel Jota's feet, who would slot it in well to open the scores - the crowds erupted in celebration.
A switch from tactics by Ross saw the away side advance a bit more, which left New Lusitania show weaknesses in defence yet again. Leiteiro had trouble getting a hold on Stack who would take advantage by levelling the scores. The odds of the opening moments seemed to be stacked against Jeckland but the man with the namesake had other plans and would see the away team lead at halftime with a great pass from Graves. The whistle blew and two very different teams went back into dressing rooms with very different conversations. Emerging back into the light, the teams seemed very eager to go back on. Jeckland attempted to play on the counter with the lead by their side, allowing the Selecção a much needed increase in passing and possession. The Lusitanians kept their pursuit with a good ball from Jota but only by fifty-five minutes of play, Paciente left his mark on the game by doing a good run-up releasing the ball well onto a converging Gama who curved it into the net. It was all square again and New Lusitania were ready to go for it. Now, it was time for the newcomer to make it two for two in his internationals as one of the younger players, Guilherme Paciente, received an excellent ball propelling it hard into the net giving some temporary silence in the Jeckland stand. Nothing good could last forever, not even for a quarter of an hour as Forest found the equaliser and final goal of the match after the substitute received a ball from Sanderson to score the equaliser. In the end, whilst each nation's media discusses how it should've been a win for their side, this shows how the draw was actually a fair settlement even if neither side actually accepted just the one point. FULL TIME: 3-3

Around the Grounds
It goes from bad to worse as now the Selecção sit in a disappointing mid-table position (6th) as Jeckland moved up to ninth. Turori's 4-1 win again Necosia meant they could maintain the lead of Sajnur who kept following the train to Farfadillis and Mriin, where a 0-3 away win at Necosia helped tremendously. Audioslavia still felt the points difference from the Turori game being third but kept the pursuit with a 1-4 win at Muradil. Both Astograth and Natanians and Nosts were the cause of New Lusitania's descent with their good victories to EOT (4-2) and TJUN-ia (0-4), respectively. Os Heróis do Mar now travel to "N&N", an old historic team of the multiversal sport which has been on form as of late. Yet another dangerous game where Victor Santa Cruz, following recent results, is feeling under pressure to deliver the goods. As Audioslavia take a rest and Sajnur play Turori , it's a fundamental week to win if only for the morale and general sentiment around the fans and team which is needed currently considering some situations inside the FLF.

THE HUB
Goals: Jota (3), Silveira (2), Gama (2), Paciente (2), Veiga (1), Fernando (1),
Assists: Fernando (2), Mário (2), Gama (1), Horta (1), Azinheira (1), Jota (1), Paciente (1), Silveira [1], Veiga (1)
Bookings: Cancela (2Y)
Injuries: Silveira (expected Return MD12)
Next Match: Natanians and Nosts X New Lusitania

(OOC: Had to change Silveira reports in Jeckland article to Paciente due to injury against Sajnur)

MMXX STL

by **Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom** » Fri May 29, 2020 7:04 pm

Zeta Reka & Hügeltaldom Federativna Republika Zeta Reka i Hügeltaldom
World Cup 85 Web Report Catch-Up Supper Special!

The Rekan team has seen a small drop in form since their draw against baggie land. However the team did defeat Osirus and lifted themselves out of eighth place. A beatdown was served by second place Starblaydia, with goalie Bosko Nowak only making three saves. Zeta Reka is a game down compared to Starblaydia, and now four points behind. “We’re still contenders,” Coach Dusan told major sports writer Karl Muller “I don’t think it’s easy… but we’re doing a lot more than some people gave us credit. I remember one person said there were two team in our pot that are better. We’re getting more points per game than both.”

A few short term injuries have healed up, but before they could some reserve players entered play. Nikola Branić was the most notable, playing over seventy minutes against Baggieland, and lasting the whole game against the Starblaydian attack, marking the attackers in Dusan’s, “Anti-R.Mc.V. Plan” Stani Gröss will return as a potential substitute in match number eight. Gröss and Branić could be long term pair for the team, and the young Branić has earned the national team’s respect. The line up for Zeta Reka’s next match is rumored to be full strength. The team is looking for a win, and will need the inspiration against a well rated opponent.

Baggieland 0–0 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom
GK 01: Bosko Nowak (c): 70’
LB 15: Wladmir Zuzkoff
CB 02: Stanko Yakowić
CB 03: Wladimir Bogdanić
RB 16: Steffanow Kostessn
DM 32: Nikola Branić: v71
LW 07: Jad
RW 08: Miloš Simeoniwić: v68’
CM 21: David Dix
CM 11: Želmir Kolarowić
ST 20: Bogdan Rawić: v73’
Subs
RW 18: Vladi Di: ^68’
GK 12: Zlatko Wukowić: ^71’
ST 20: Stajkwon Hokwok: ^73’
Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom 1–0 Osarius
GK 12: Zlatko Wukowić
LB 04: Janko Yakowić: v71
CB 13: Jan Thimig
CB 03: Wladimir Bogdanić: 55’
RB 05: Bartolomej Wladmirowić: v75’
DM 06: Mullow Dorboslawić
LW 07: Jad: 08’
RW: 19: Stojan Heiden: 67’
CM 10: Rybki (c)
CM 22: Zoran Koawć
ST 09: Stajkwon Hokwok: v50’
Subs
FW 31: Alek Wladowić: ^50’
CB 14: Wuk Koziwier: ^71’
RB 16: Steffanow Kostessn: ^75’
Starblaydia 3–0 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom
GK 01: Bosko Nowak (c)
LB 04: Janko Yakowić: v71
CB 02: Stanko Yakowić
CB 03: Wladimir Bogdanić: v67
RB 05: Bartolomej Wladmirowić
DM 32: Nikola Branić
LW 08: Miloš Simeoniwić: v55
RW/LW 07: Jad
CM 21: David Dix: 61’
CM 11: Želmir Kolarowić
ST 20: Bogdan Rawić
Subs
RW 18: Vladi Di: ^55
RB 26: Wukdrag Nikowić: ^67, 82’
LB 15: Wladmir Zuzkoff: ^71
Rank: 6th (^1)
Goal(s): 1 (.333 average)
Possession average: 49% (over the three matches)
Shots: 18 (6 average)
On Goal: 8 (2.666 average)
Saves: 12 (4 average)
Fouls: 38 (12.666 average)
Corners: 21 (7 average)
Offsides: 1 (.333 average)
Yellow Cards: 4
Red Cards: 1
Yellow Cards
David Dix: 2 (to serve a suspension in match 7)
Wladimir Bogdanić: 1
Mullow Dorboslawić: 1
Jad: 1
Wukdrag Nikowić: 1
Bartolomej Wladmirowić: 1
Red Cards
Bosko Nowak: 1 (served suspension)
Mullow Dorboslawić: 1 (served suspension)
Wladmir Bogdanić: 1 (served suspension)

by **Astograth** » Fri May 29, 2020 7:28 pm

Previously

Astograth 4-2 Euran Oceania Territories
Ituraitz, Astograth, Ituraitz Sporting Ground (attendance: 61,951)

Lineup: Anzizar, Remondegi, Leskerre, Doyenard ©, Lizarza, Urkizo, Gurina, Ibargengoitia, Malkorra, Duarte, Urdanibia
Substitutions: E. Laurnagaray for Malkorra, Martel for Ibargengoitia, Yrigoy for Duarte
Goalscorers: Urkizo, E. Laurnagaray (2), Urdanibia

Louis Vaudrail was a manager of many peculiarities, one of the most infamous of which was instituting “study sessions” for his players. On designated days, players shuffled into a room of desks and chairs, had their electronics confiscated, and proceeded to spend one or two hours silently and individually studying the printed material they’d been given at prior briefings. This was not a wildly popular programme with the players.

This particular day was two days from flying out to Ituraitz, to face the Euran Oceania Territories, and Marko Martel was restless. He hadn’t been in Athletic Olarria’s senior team when Vaudrail was there, but the older players had relayed to him the drag that they were – and he was inclined to agree with them. He hadn’t become a footballer to study, and couldn’t find it in him to concentrate. The worst thing was the rest of the boys had complied, even if begrudgingly, following the example of the dressing room leaders Narke, Lekea and Doyenard. Still, Kiriano sat at the front of the room like a stern-faced headmaster, ready to snap someone back in line if they started talking or goofing off. And next to him, that lady from the university, always looking and taking notes.

The young left-back looked down at the papers before him, plucked out of an FAF-branded carpet. One was an analysis of the match with Audioslavia, another the brief on EOT, another devoted completely to profiles of EOT players, and yet another detailing the team’s latest tactical experiments and how he could fit in them: 4-2-2-2, 5-3-2, even 4-3-3.

Martel groaned. “This sucks,” he thought. According to the digital clock on the wall they were just 10 minutes in, 80 to go. He looked left. Lizarza’s head slid down and bobbed back up every few seconds. Martel looked right. Yrigoy was scribbling on one of the sheets, sketching out formations. Martel sighed. Fine. He paged through the briefs, and picked out the one with the players. It had the most pictures, and he’d recognise some names from the Euraleague and his game of Champion Manager Redux Explosion, at least.

NO. 1 – CHARLIE ROSS – GOALKEEPER – CLUB: BAKERMOUTH (EOT) – AGE: 22

He’d never heard of this guy. The next page was some other goalkeeper. Skip that one too.

NO. 2 –TIMWISE GERDUNS – RIGHT-BACK – CLUB: REVOLUTIONARIES (EUR) – AGE: 31

This was more like it.

“Timwise Gerduns débuted for Arrowsmith of the Euran league in 673, transferred to Sword in 676, and then Revolutionaries in 677, where he has remained since.”

The first two barely rang a bell, but Revolutionaries. Now that was a team. He skimmed the rest of the two-page profile. Tackling ratio, uh-huh, average distance covered, sure, heatmap – what are heatmaps even for? Everyone else seemed to know, so he thought he’d look stupid asking. He turned the page.

NO. 5 – KURT STRONG – CENTRE-BACK – CLUB: REVOLUTIONARIES (EUR) – AGE: 32

“Kurt Strong débuted for Fligsive Barracks, a club of Syndicatian origin, in 671. He transferred to Revolutionaries in 673, where he has remained since.”

Ah, nice, nice. So two defenders from Revolutionaries. Good club. He’d played them on CMRE for sure. They had Rhys Griffiths too, from the Euran team. Did Guerrikaechebarria play for them? Or was that Ulsa? It definitely wasn’t Lajuno. Directus…? Maybe… whatever.

That would be pretty cool, though. Playing for Directus. Or Spartangrad, or Bastion. Eurans had cool names. Were they hiring? Maybe… maybe give the old agent a call.

Mhm. Euraleague’s on the up. Yeah. Sounds good… the… hmm. Revolutionaries, big team. Strong. Eura Strong. Kurt Strong… centre-back.

Strong…

A huge slam startled Martel, flinging his head and eyes back to attention from the comfortable droop they had settled into. Ibai Kiriano stood over him, his hand on the desk. Martel could hear snickers from his teammates.

“It’s study session, Marko, not sleeping session. Keep studying”.

Kurt Strong. Centre-back. Eura Strong. Revolutionaries…

World Cup 81/82/83/84

O Captain, My Captain
Frank Armitage
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

A minor detail lost among the flurry of records that the National Team has set during the opening quarter of matches in World Cup 85 qualifying is the rotating cast of players who have worn the captain's armband; going back to the friendlies prior to the start of the campaign, 11 matches had seen 11 different individuals lead the team out from the dressing room, a streak broken when Emily Arnold was named on the occasion of her 50th cap against The Macabees.

Lorenzo Taborn's 50th NT start saw him get the captaincy in the away match against Xanneria, while Arnold took it in the return match, followed by Daisy Callum in the Poafmersia tilt; Amanda Hayes' 50th start versus Northwest Kalactin; Declan Mason in the 3-3 draw against The Grearish Union; Caroline Gordon in Siovanija & Teusland; regular captain Derick Briggs in the Sharktail WCQ opener; Sarah Foreman's 50th cap came in the Khazajamal game (as did Trent Yeomans' and Tyrek Jones'—both scoring in lieu of the armband); Yeomans getting his chance in the following match versus Darkmania; Jamari Bozeman's record 80th cap saw him as captain on the day against Zwangzug (and also scoring); Jones getting belated recognition in the Valladares match and then Arnold again.

For the match against Bushkrub at the BBP Stadium on matchday 7, Briggs will once again resume the post for the 600th all time Baker Park National Team fixture, which will also celebrate the 800th match for the men & women's teams, although that actual occasion won't be until the Valkolicci Haven & Celeria contest on matchday 12. It will mark Briggs' 65th start, breaking the tie he currently holds with Faith Enzikomibo for most NT starts by a defender; also, Tracey Vasillias will make her 70th NT appearance, keeping her just 3 ahead of Briggs in that category. Kyle Moyer has been called into the team & will get the start in goal, more than likely his final cap.

A pre-match ceremony will include appearances by all living former managers of both national teams, including Pamela Scott and Trevor Richmond, in addition to approximately 100 former players; included among that number is Calvin Mahoney, who was born in 1934, the year of the Commonwealth's first ever match, and earned the first of his 16 caps in 1960, making him the oldest living capped player. Mahoney will be the honorary captain of the team for the night, representing the nearly 1,000 men & women who have appeared for the nation in history.

As for the match against The Macabees, Jessica LeClair and Lindsay Thompson provided all the offense required, as Zach Johnston earned his first WCQ victory in goal in the 2-1 win. Thompson, the 27 year old Hannover United striker who has had an injury plagued career that's limited her to only 7 previous caps, got the traditional post-match shower for her maiden goal, coming 109 matches since her last appearance, as a sub against Astoria in WCQ 82. No one was happier for her than Ichi Tuzzio, who gave her a warm embrace after Lainey Wadsworth replaced Thompson with 9 minutes remaining.

The other fixture in this window will be a trip to Twicetagria, a participant in the BOF and the most recent AOCAF.

lineup for MD 7-8

starters: Moyer; Briggs (C), Vasillias, Stephens; Callum, Hayes, Taborn, Ngoba; Bozeman; Simmons, Patton
subs--Gordon, Bartok, Jordan, Hutchins Westmoreland, Sotolongo, Fernandez, Porter, Jones, Tilton (most of these will rotatate in the lineup for the second match)

by **Newmanistan** » Fri May 29, 2020 7:45 pm

THE ROCKET REPORT

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

By Brianne Henry,

Something, somewhere is badly wrong. Yes, we have said that so many times in World Cup Qualifying over the decades and here we go again. We try to start getting excited about where our national soccer program is heading, and we get this crap. At this point, I know there is many Rockets fans out there that are ready to close the books on this qualification already and start making plans for the Cup of Harmony no matter where that might be. Personally, even I am pretty ticked off. For a while, I was hoping that we could get moving in the right direction but this last result was disgusting.

First off, it is a complete disgrace that the World Cup Committee allows a team to host games in a completely inadequate environment. Drunk People At The Local Tavern might be an interesting group of characters that are learning how to play soccer well, but that does not change the fact that the field that we are playing in completely inadequate conditions in which to be hosting games of this magnitude. There are no locker room facilities, and no place for media to comfortably be able to sit and watch the game. At least Cheergirls has learned this lesson and rents out a high school field now. I am frustrated, but maybe this is the turning point, maybe Newmanistan gets a big win in Tundra Falls against Vilita in the next game, or maybe we should just be kissing that Campionato Esportiva trophy because there is no way we are going to do anything more then that in soccer.

The Drunk People were better from the start, and the Rockets only have themselves to blame. Someone who simply refers to herself as Cassie scored the games opening goal in the 14th minute of the match. Sloppy defensive play from our team all around, but Ryan McNamara needs to be coming up with that save. Star Bladyia made it 2-0 in the 40th minute, and then in the 45th minute, Ko-oren, who came off the bench put the Drunks up by three at the intermission. Drunk People continued to play well throughout the second half, but then made a questionable substitution by entering Tae Shan in the 80th minute. The Rockets were able to exploit Tae Shan pretty easily, scoring in the 83rd and 88th minutes, but that player needed to be in the game earlier for us to have made the full comeback. I know, I could talk about the game in far more detail, but what is the point right now? Maybe they can show a little something against Vilita but the Rockets are probably about as gone in this as Zwangzug is from entering the World Baseball Classic.

OOC: The three Drunk People goals had me use the minute number of a major tournament that the player’s themed nation registered a big win over Newmanistan.

by **Alba and Cymru** » Fri May 29, 2020 7:55 pm

The Orthochronica
Chapter 61, "Am Phalanx" (The Phalanx)

The Word of the Dagda, as it concerns the Heavens and the Earth:

1 This is My word. Woe be unto he who stands in the way of Fate, for he stands upon [sinking] sand.
2 For Fate wills the living, and Fate decides who must pass the River at their [appointed] time.
3 You Noble ones, do what is righteous in the sight of the Dagda, for He is also righteous.
4 Yea, recall that day when Allaidh lined up the Regnians¹ in a phalanx against the sons of Cain,
5 And how they defended Britain vigorously against Grendel, the accursed one.
6 So shall that day return, when one of you shall take up lines against another invader.²
7 Woe be unto that day, for many of you shall be cut [short] by the whims of Fate, yet you shall join me on that day in Heaven, while the invaders shall be banished to the fields [of Elysium].
8 For the sons of Cain have taken arms against the sons of Tiraus³, and now they slumber forever within the endless Plains.
9 But the sons of Tiraus have joined me in the ultimate victory, for they have done righteous in the sight of My eyes.
10 And they made sacrifice unto their Lord, and have supped with the blessed. They have honoured My Spirit, without [the worship of] others.
11 For what is the reward for those who have done righteous besides goodness? And Dagda is all goodness.
12 Dagda shall forgive your trespasses, and He will invite you to His Palace, where rivers of wine flow, and He shall build palaces for you. This is the highest victory.
13 Dagda shall present unto you another favour that you greatly desire: divine help and a swift victory. So give this good news unto all who can hear.
14 For the Tuath Dé sing for joy at the victory of the righteous, and for the anointing of a noble one. So shall the armies of Heaven [sing] when that day which evil will be slain. This is My word.

1 - This is the story of Beowulf (Allaidh) as it was revealed to the Druid Áed. Beowulf was an Oracle of Gaelic origin, who sailed to Britain to fight with the Regni tribe against Grendel, who was the leader of an invading army who did not believe in Fate nor the Dagda. The Anglo-Saxons appropriated this story to their old legend of a hero from Denmark.
2 - Many scholars have debated who this is referring to. Some scholars suggest that this is in reference to the Anglo-Saxons, but most have denounced this view.
3 - Tiraus is the Abrahamic equivalent to Tiras, who is the father of the West European and Uralic ethnicities. Tiraus's descendants lived alongside the sons of Cain before the Great Battle around 1000 BC, when they fought one another. The descendants of Tiraus won, while the sons of Cain retreated North until the invasion of Grendel.

by **Busoga Islands** » Fri May 29, 2020 8:04 pm

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

The Busoga Islands political scene is turned upside down as Banija announces repeal of nuclear-free zone the day after Delbin Kasekende's inauguration

Islanders at the inauguration of their new President

LAKISKA, SOUTH ISLAND- These are, indeed, crazy times. Just three days ago, Delbin Kasekende, the former World Cup participant, joined the rare club of people who have won a match at the World Cup,to go onto become a head of state. He may be the only member of that club to win a World Cup match for one country(Banija), and then become the President of another country(Busoga Islands). And yet, he has done just that. In his inauguration, he focused mostly on domestic issues, pledging that the country would create a secular society, where religious strife that could be found commonly elsewhere could be extinguished within this country.

He also pledged to work well with all of Busoga's neighbors. He told the people that "We must develop our current friendships, and it is always our responsibilities to create new ones. We have no natural enemies- only neighbors. We can decide to be friends, or be allies, but never to be enemies." While he didn't say the country's name once in his speech, many knew of course that he was referring to the Kingdom of Banija, just to the east of the Busoga Islands. Many would have seen the moment as an olive branch. Busoga has matured to be able to have stronger relations with the Kingdom.

He also talked about the importance of the moment in Busogan history. "While this was of no surprise, this is Busoga's first ever peaceful transition of power. Democracy cannot be taken for granted- Matthias Mutebi showed us the horrors that can be unleashed when you assume the democratic norms will stay. The Busoga Islands, however, is a constitutional republic- the people have rights, the people's right are inalienable, including their right to a responsive, popular government. The fact that this is no surprise shows that we've built a strong democracy- this is the norm, the expectation. And that, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing."

He went on to thank many foreign dignitaries who attended the inauguration. "Of course, we have our traditional allies in Equestria- that is a partnership that will remain forever and forever. We also have Neu Engollon, who we have a fresh alliance with- relationships we can build on. The Busoga Islands, under President Razav, was intent on finding its place in the world, and those here today do our country a great honor with their presence- especially our budding friends from the far abroad, outside of Atlantian Oceania. Ambassador Jake Horvath, of Nephara. Allen Mumford, of Nova Anglicana. The acting Foreign Minister of Recuecn, Émile Rougemont. And Foreign Secretary Monica de Klerk, of Omerica. The Busoga Islands salute all four of you for your attendance here today."

"And, of course, there are more dignitaries I'd like to thank for their presence. Commonwealth Minister Dominic Kim, from the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. Foreign Minister Vojtech Horacek, of the United Republics of Siovanija & Teusland, a dear neighbor and ally of ours in the Glorious Southwest. President Vincent Montiel, leading the pack as a head of state at this event, of Northwest Kalactin. Her Majesty, Queen Alexandrine, of Valladares. And, of course, her Imperial Majesty, Satomi II of Kita-Hinode. All of you, simply by your presence here, have shown that you and your country prioritize the Busoga Islands. This is something that will not be forgotten. I would like to thank each one of you personally." And he led an applause.

There was, of course, an inaugural ball that night. Everyone got fancy, and the music started. Delbin Kasekende was seen speaking with all of the foreign dignitaries, although separately from each other, at one point or another during the night. It was quite the party atmosphere. But after the celebration, comes governing. And boy, did it come at President Kasekende fast. The next day, the foreign dignitaries had essentially cleared out of Lakiska and went back home early in the morning. The street cleaners were ensuring Lakiska would be picture-esque again in a day. Many thought it would be a morning just like any other. But the news came from the Lukiiko- Banija would develop nuclear weapons.

A stunning announcement. Considering the timing too. It put an immense amount of pressure on President Kasekende. Now, of course, better relations with Banija weren't exactly the centerpiece of his campaign, but everyone knew that is how the President would lean. But now, the newly elected government in Busukuma set off an absolute uproar. With Parliament meeting, many members across the aisle gave speeches throwing harsh criticisms at Busukuma. One Legislator even said that Banijans thought they were 'the center of the universe.' Many thought it was disrespectful to announce such a move on a date so close to President Kasekende's inauguration.

He ended up saying the following statement. "Many in the Busoga Islands are concerned about the new direction from Busukuma regarding nuclear-free zones." The President said. "Nuclear weapons are dangerous, and won't necessarily enhance security- they are a money drain. That is why it is not the path for the Busoga Islands to pursue. Banija, of course, like any country, has a right to defend itself. But the Lukiiko would do well to remember that life does not happen in a vacuum. Regardless of the intentions, this is a move that is guaranteed to cause tensions within the Glorious Southwest, and Atlantian Oceania in general. That is why we will oppose the Banijan move, and I do expect to get on a phone call with Busukuma, as well as our own allies, to express our extreme displeasure at the move."

You can never escape the Banijan issue, eh? But here it is - we'll see if Busukuma will largely continue these moves in peace, or whether pressure, either domestic or international, will start to build on Kobe Azizi and his new Government to reverse paths.

by **Darmen** » Fri May 29, 2020 8:18 pm

From the Office of the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs

Regarding Recent Developments on the Darmeni-Valladar Border

Sra. Catalina Malavón
Minister of Foreign Affairs, Valladares

My Esteemed Valladar Colleague,

I am writing in response to your letter which I recently received, wherein you requested that the Darmeni government share any information which we might possess concerning cross border tunnels and other associated activities. Attached with this letter are official documents which have been cleared for sharing with your government and which I shall now summarize.

First, until the reception of your letter, the Darmeni government, at least at the highest levels, had no knowledge of the existence of cross border tunnels. Upon receiving your letter and launching our own investigation, we have learned that at least two tunnels had been found in recent days, but they had been wrongly attributed to drug smugglers. As such, they and information regarding them, were marked as low priority, meaning that the information made its way slowly up the chain of command.

As we share in the responsibility of ensuring a safe and secure border, please allow me to offer my apologies for these failures to uphold our end of that responsibility. We will review these shortcomings and make changes to enhance our response to similar occurrences which may arise in the future.

Secondly, following our investigation, it has been determined that the tunnels were more than likely the work of a militant splinter group of the formerly militant Frente de la Libertad Valladar (FLV). While we do not know the name of this present group, we are aware that they are not only Valladar ultra-nationalists, but also Catholic supremacists. We are also fairly certain that the group numbers no more than 15.

To prevent the proliferation of additional tunnels, the Chavarría-Fenway Border Patrol (C-FBP) of the Darmeni National Gendarmerie has been expanded and patrols of the border will be increased. Additionally, the Air Force will begin periodic flights of drones equipped with infra-red sensors to detect movement of unauthorized personnel on the Darmeni side of the border, both above and below ground.

Thirdly, it appears that these tunnels are part of a wider increase in activity by either militant or non-militant but radical Valladar nationalist groups within the territory of the Republic of Darmen. Local and national law enforcement agencies, the National Gendarmerie and the Darmeni government as a whole will continue to resist illegal efforts to undermine Darmeni sovereignty, while maintaining the rights of the Valladar community within Darmen to exercise their legitimate political and social rights.

Myself and my department, as well as the Darmeni government as a whole, are committed to cooperation with the Valladar government to ensure a safe and secure Darmeni-Valladar border. Please feel free to approach me or any other member of the Executive Cabinet of Darmen with requests for further information, or to propose any possible opportunities for joint-action.

Sincerely,

Kalyn Schröder
Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs

by **Farfadillis** » Fri May 29, 2020 9:20 pm

Roses are red
So are their thorns
I'm colorblind and no Zwang at poems
Cut-off

by **Taeshan** » Fri May 29, 2020 9:28 pm

West Pocono Taeshan
Blakeslee Stadium, Bartonsville, West Pocono
Conroy 18' : Brubaker 75'

Culture

Culture is such a weird thing when it comes to sports. In youth sports the culture should be about developing players but so often the coaches are the parents of one of the players. Often in their eyes their kid is a “star”, many times that is not particularly true. When I started playing soccer as a kid, I had a teammate, not the coach’s son, but got everything he wanted because he was the rich kid. Dad paid for the uniforms, so he got to start in goal. Dad bought the team cleats, so he got to play forward when we were winning that one time. Problem was, we were bad. We didn’t win often, but when we did it was because we outscored opponents.

I wasn’t a particularly skilled kid, but I loved the game. I committed to training and stayed at it. As I joined the academy system many of my friends started going after other dreams. I was starting for my club by the time I turned 18. I won a league title by the time I was 21, and I had already played in 3 matches at a world cup. I was lucky though. I grew up at the right time, a sea-change was occurring in Taeshan. A push for more youth products to join the national team. The old players were out, and many youngsters got a chance.

My club career went a little like that as well. Yaton hadn’t won a title in 43 years when we lifted the Premier League title. We dominated for half the season. Me and Mzukisi Nzo were terrors in the midfield. I quickly went from a nobody, to on a competitive team to now a starter for a top 20 nation in the world. That in itself is impressive.

More impressive when you consider only 6 years ago Taeshan hadn’t qualified for a world cup in almost 4 decades. The talent had run dry, the players were old, and none of the youngsters were good. Or so many thought. We came together in that World Cup 83 run like almost no Taeshani team had ever done. We did even more in World Cup 84, and I hope we find ourselves at World Cup 85. You know soccer is supposed to be fun. Playing it as a professional can sometimes not be fun, and I think watching old videos and highlights of those teams who tried to so hard and didn’t qualify you can see they are not having fun.

I had to fight for my minutes for club and country, but I never stopped fighting. It can be hard when you see yourself not successful to make yourself successful. The rut Taeshan couldn’t get themselves out of makes sense, but it also makes sense that you can get yourself out of it. You might not have the advantage of a coach’s son, or the money others do, or even the skills that some do. But you can be successful because life is an opportunity. I chose to make soccer my opportunity and I’m taking it. I will keep taking it.

Benjamin Moriarty

by **Northwest Kalactin** » Fri May 29, 2020 9:30 pm

[/floatleft]

Arthur Jackson
This team sucks! That tie against Eura was all a ton of crap. Come on, we can’t even beat Eagan, what is this team!

[/floatleft]

Gary Baker
Blame it on the defense, they aren’t giving Jakerein any support in goal.

[/floatleft]

Bruce Jones
We gotta fire Scheter, he is driving this team to shit! They got no defense at all!
#firescheter

[/floatleft]

Juan Henderson
I mean y’all could cut the team some slack, we gotta wait until this new generation grows into men and then we’ll start to qualify.

[/floatleft]

Joseph Foster
Scheter sucks! We need a new manager to bring this team to glory, we don’t want another guy from Esportiva or somewhere, hire a Kalactanian!
#firescheter
#hirekalactin

[/floatleft]

Roger Kelley
Yeah! Let’s get some Kalactanian blood to lift this team to the moon. We don’t want some foreigner coaching the team.
#firescheter
#hirekalactin

[/floatleft]

Billy Peterson
Hey now a tie against Chromatika isn’t bad! We gotta carry this momentum into our game against Terre Septentrionale soon here.

]

[/floatleft]

Jack Russell
Alright a tie against Chromatika. Now we got to clash against Terre Septentrionale.[/box]

by **Alba and Cymru** » Fri May 29, 2020 9:53 pm

The Orthochronica
Chapter 122, "Mabon" (Orion)

This chapter was given to the Oracle Tiarnán by Lugh (a warrior of the Tuath Dé and the record-keeper of the Dagda) during the Oracle's ministry in Cambria around the year 940. "Orion", like the latter part of chapter 15 "The High Cliffs/Fjords", details some of the mysteries of the universe and how only the Dagda is the source of creation. Some scholars have nicknamed this chapter "The Timeless Chapter", due to it being a shining example of how the Orthochronica has withstood the test of time in the wake of modern scientific discoveries.

The Word of Lugh, as it concerns the Heavens and the Earth:

1 This is My word. From whence have you come?
2 And at what time were you created?
3 Did you witness when we laid the foundations of the heavens? If so, enumerate the foundations on which the universe is settled.
4 Were you present when we shaped the stars from [the dust of] the heavens? Can you name all of the secrets of Orion?
5 How many Atlases are required to uphold the Heavens?¹ Do tell, and may Atlas reveal its weight.
6 How many suns do the flora need? How many moons can the tides kneel to?
7 Once more, how vast is the Earth, with its nations and lands? Can you name every man who has walked the Earth?
8 Consider this, and know that Lugh has the written record of the birth of all beings.
9 And know that the foundations of the heavens are innumerable to the human eye², and that the one who ordered them knows each by its corners, [and] each by its name.
10 Consider this, and know that the stars each have their glory. The Dagda has brightened some, and retracted others for your sake.
11 And know that the sky is stretched upon nothing, for the Dagda has placed a barrier between the earth and the heavens.³
12 Consider this, and consider the one who created the sun and the moon. How infinite His wisdom and power is.
13 For none can compare to He who ordered the cosmos, and no man can cast his eyes upon Him
14 Except those who have crossed the River into His Realm, and those who He has appointed under Him.⁴ This is My word.

1 - This is meant to discredit old myths about a man or god holding up the sky
2 - Some modern scholars believe that "foundations" is a reference to galaxies.
3 - This is in reference to the atmosphere.
4 - i.e. the Tuath Dé.

Translators note: All 177 chapters of the Orthochronica begin and end with the same phrase "Is é seo Mo fhocal," or, "This is My word." This phrase is meant to represent the validity and completeness of the holy text. This also helps new believers or those who are learning the Orthochronica to comprehend the length of each chapter.

by **Baggieland** » Fri May 29, 2020 9:59 pm

The Daily Boing

Garifunya 0 – 0 Baggieland FT (0 – 0 HT)

After conceding six goals for the first time in Baggieland’s footballing history, Fred Buckingham tightened up the defence, but in doing so put the reins on our attacking capabilities.

Whereas the 0 – 0 draw with Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom was one of the most exciting games in this tournament so far, yesterday’s 0 – 0 was the complete opposite. Both teams seemed wary of the other and the whole match ended up resembling a midfield training routine of ‘keep the ball’. There was not a single shot on goal from either team during the first half, and only one attempt at goal during the second half.

For the ONLY highlight of the game, please click on the link below.

https://youtu.be/CIGRLSzCvk8

Baggieland stats:

Possession: 51%.
Corners: 1.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 4.
Bomber Robson: 3
Ronnie Regis: 2.
Ray Brunt: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 8.
Ray Brunt: 3.
Bomber Robson: 3
Ronnie Regis: 3.
Jonas McAuley: 1.
Chris Barlow: 1.

by **West Pocono** » Fri May 29, 2020 10:39 pm

THUNDER CONTENT TO DRAW TAESHAN

No, Taeshan can’t beat us.

The Thunder played an excellent defensive game in Bartonsville once again, utilizing the same approach that they did in the opener when they played to a scoreless draw against South Covello. The patience of this West Pocono team never ceases to amaze me, and I know people are probably getting tired of me saying this, but the manager, Nathan Ruddy, deserves a lot of credit. After the match, Ruddy told reporters that, “It’s the system. We created a game plan here to work together as a team. Everyone says that, but our mantra was going to make it tough on opponents to score, and not be one of those teams who enters World Cup qualifying for the first time and starting thinking they can outscore the established teams. That would be absolutely foolish. Instead, it was to sit back, play systematic defense, and hope to score in the counter attack.”

That is something that worked against South Covello, and the defensive minded Purple Knights would also have to go out of their comfort zone, in order to get a win. Miles Snavely, the Taeshani manager certainly knew that his team would have to be aggressive at some point, and we saw this begin to take shape about fifteen minutes into the game. The Thunder, when they have scored, have waited to punch in the counter attach, and this time it was Lonnie Rice making an astute play in the midfield to intercept a pass, then to find Garrett Conroy with a great pass of his own. Conroy took the shot and placed it perfectly, giving the Thunder lead that they were able to take to halftime.

While the Poconi played excellent defense in the second half as well, the pushes of the Purple Knights kept getting stronger, and in the 75th minute they were able to get the equalizer, as Elmo Brubaker took advantage of Carl Huerta’s slip, and was able to get a step on him, which ultimately led to the goal. There was some frustration, naturally, but in the end, the Thunder pick up a point that many people probably thought they would get.

At the conclusion of the game, the scoreboard shows one goal a piece for each side, meaning that West Pocono has picked up a point against each of the top two seeds in the group over the first half of qualifying. This is probably making the Thunder the best friends of Main Nation Ministry more then anything else. These results are showing that this team does belong at this level even if qualifying is never going to happen. After all, the Thunder have the same amount of points right now as Newmanistan and Chromatika have, combined. Bet you didn’t think we’d say that after seven matchdays?

by **Gopnikea** » Fri May 29, 2020 11:06 pm

Stadion z ishm’

Gopnikea - Mercedini
Result: 2 - 4
Possession: 58% / 42%
Goals:
Home: (Lowrie 41’, Banguero 69’)
Away: (Nymark 21’, 67’, Chillotov 70’, Dostalok 85’)

Gopnikea once again loses. Lowrie, once again has an amazing performance scoring a goal before half time. At the 68th minute, a corner is given to Gopnikea, taken by Treyhon, and Banguero has an amazingly accurate header into the goal. Nymark of Mercedini almost had a hattrick but his third attempt to score was unfortunately blocked by Garrison. Chillotov lobs the ball over the keeper at the 70th minute and Dostalok had a bit of trouble getting the ball in but successfully gets it in just before full time.

Coach Bestos: Alright, that was a nice play. I’m starting to lose hope on winning this World Cup, but we’ll certainly get it next time. I’ll see you all tomorrow, but Treyhon, I need to talk to you for a moment.

Treyhon: What is it, coach?

Coach Bestos: So, about that corner kick, that was wonderful. But we need to talk about your bicycle kick.

Treyhon: I know, it failed.

Coach Bestos: Yes, it did, but if you timed it properly, it would have went in. See me at the field tomorrow morning before the next match, we’ll work on your bicycle kick, and while we’re there, we might as well teach you how to do a knuckleball on a free kick.

Treyhon: Okay, I’ll get going now, see you tomorrow!

by **Jeruselem** » Fri May 29, 2020 11:20 pm

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas in Acronius

Hello this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas or just Princess Kate, for Naked News Jeruselem. Once again, you can work out we're in a foreign country. This time we're in Acronius, another nation we've never set foot in. Well, at least to my knowledge. Well, in Group 7 we're in a pickle stuck in like 9th place. We needed points! Would qualifying match day 7 change direction for Jeruselem?

Now the rest of Group 7 first.
Simpralia was at home and beat visitors Aimena 2-0. Yes this was the same Aimena who beat us 5-4 at home.
Welzat held Darmen to a 1-1 draw at home. Yes, Darmen did not win and dropped two points. I wish we could have drawn with Darmen, we kinda almost did. Well done Welzat.
Nephara continued the pain of visiting South Charlia, beating them 4-0 at home. They seem to be winning everything now. This is after a 7-0 win before too.
Great Lausitz returned to the winner's circle, winning 3-2 at home over Competitive Solitaire who clearly weren't competitive today.
Huayramarca didn't join the winning home team list today, because they fell to Sarzonia 4-2.

Well, today 3 winning home teams and that one draw. Would Acronius also have a home win?
It's a pretty tight table with most teams suffering losses, except for Darmen and Nephara who still haven't lost a game.
Acronius took on Jeruselem who's last four games was two losses, a bye and a draw. Wow, they must have thought they could beat us.
Well, we came along and trashed the, 7-2. Yeah SEVEN GOALS! Our attack had been delivering goals but we were losing because our inability to stop the opposition scoring.
Today, Jeruselem did score goals and stopped most of them.
Back to the sort of performance on Match day 1
Yeah two goals, but we scored 7. If we can do this at home, I'd love it.
Oh yes, I noticed we had same backline as match day 1 as well. I guess the coach did actually listen to me as well.

A much improved performance today with everyone doing their job.
You saw the last interview with Boris last game, it seems something changed.
Let's hope this is the a sign we can go into the 2nd half of qualifying in a better position than now.

The table has changed a bit. Nephara leaders the table! Darmen are 2nd, both on 16 points. Clearly they are the benchmark.
Simpralia moved up to 3rd on 12, and also Sarzonia who was on 12 moving up to 4th.
Welzat hold 5th on 11, Jeruselem jumped up to 6th on 10 now with Huayramarca on 10 but dropping from 3rd spot.
Aimena are 7th on 9 points. Acronius are in 8th, on 7 and Delaclava on 7 but they had a bye today.
Competitive Solitaire are 11th on 7, and the other two bottom teams.

Progress, back to 6th and only 6 points off top spot.
Well, can we get back up there with Nephara and Darmen? Because that's what we need to do if we want to qualify.
If we can keep up a performance like today for the next 5 games, we have hope.
And hopefully, we can have solid backline from now on because our attack has been delivering goals.
A great day today, keep it up!

OOC

Group 7
Acronius 2–7 Jeruselem
Simpralia 2–0 Aimena
Welzat 1–1 Darmen
Nephara 4–0 South Charlia
Great Lausitz 3–2 Competitive Solitaire
Huayramarca 2–4 Sarzonia

by **Blouman Empire** » Fri May 29, 2020 11:43 pm

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Matusta Scores Double To Secure Victory

Ken Hayabua’s encouraging work these qualifiers with Kandorith continued with a thrilling victory over a resolute Blouman Empire, a result that is keeping them just in touch with the group leaders.

Hayabura had Toki Matsuta largely to thank for the outcome after the striker scored twice, including the winner. The back and forth game could not have got off to a worse start for the Kandorese side, though, as their shambolic defending allowed Luke Cousins to overhead kick putting the Empire into the lead following an Issac Cupstran free-kick after just 49 seconds. But the Kandorese slowly wrestled control of the game away from the visiting side, with Masada Katano side-footing a volley home to draw them level from early substitute Takamoto Ishibashi delivering a superb left-wing cross, before Matsuta slotted them into the lead. Their progress was again checked when Cousins capitalised on yet more defensive frailty to put the Empire level just before half-time, but the lead didn’t last long with Matsuta heading the home side back ahead 26 seconds after the break.

The Eagles had chances to get at least a point, but Cousins saw a cross agonisingly elude his slide before firing straight into the arms of Hideyo Kiyotada from close range. The win means Kandorith go 9 points off six games and still just within reach of qualifying for the world cup proper. Blouman Empire who was hoping for a mid table finish in their first international competition since World Cup 67 have yet to win a game and are second off the bottom only due to goal difference and one of two teams in the group yet to win a game.

Having played against group favourites Equstria in the last match and securing a draw in the process it was going to be tough on the Kandorith players due to the quick turnaround and need for recovery and may be used as an excuse for their shambolic start to game and their lacklustre defending. Their back four was all at sea in the first minute when Cupstran’s free-kick was floated in and they failed to react to prevent Cousins’ finish. They were equally culpable at the end of the first half, missing crucial headers before Cousins’ got his crucial touch. The obvious negatives were outweighed by the positives Kandorith can take from the game - not least the continued impressive displays of their midfield and the ongoing potency of Matsuta

Blouman Manager Lewis Parry spoke before the game about the need for his side to make "a statement" on this fixture and the next before coming across the top three in the group. Following their third defeats in 6 games, they still have to come up against Equstria, HUElavia and Xanneria. Even an experienced manager like Parry couldn't have wished for his side to act on his demands so quickly as Cousin did within the first minute of the game. Parry will also have been delighted at the resolve and positivity they demonstrated to restore parity at 2-2, and also in striving for another leveler during the second half though they were unsuccessful.

They had more than enough chances to leave Kandorith with a point, not least when Cousins found himself in space just a few yards out. But he was somehow unable to beat Kiyotada. He also glanced a header from a corner just wide in the closing stages. The Empire are starting to get are used to getting worked over but they will rarely leave with as much optimism following a defeat as after this. On an afternoon when there were plenty of positives for the Empire to reflect on, perhaps the most important was the international debut of 18 year old Liam Peach. The midfielder played the final 30 minutes and showed what the Eagles had been missing with his ability to pick a pass, a skill he demonstrated with one superb ball to release Cousin for another shot that Leno saved.

The Eagles will next face fellow cellar dweller Monglechabagd in a game both sides must win. It is probably the Empire’s best shot of gaining a win before the top of the group come up against them in what will sure to be difficult matches.

by **Tequilo** » Sat May 30, 2020 12:15 am

THE CONTINUING MIDADVENTURES OF GARCÍA de CORCOLES
The Banjo

LILÍAN: The Bar | The Gold | The Gum | Frank Sent This | The Guardian
GARCÍA: The Fire | The Banjo | The Scooter | The Raft | The Border

García de Corcoles, back-up goalkeeper for the national team and presently injured somewhere in the Appalachian Nation after being left behind to recuperate following the Baptism of Fire, could hardly recall the journey from the hospital to Clem Cooterbuck’s cabin in the hills. Certainly, he was thrown in the back of a pickup without much due care and attention, given his multiple injuries from a football collision, falling off a stretcher, crashing in an ambulance, falling off a hospital bed, being clunked on the head with a fire extinguisher, run over by a wheelchair, and ridden by an unconscious geriatric who fell out of said wheelchair and onto the crawling broken man from Antivador. Though his thoughts were cloudy, he could be sure he was not getting the appropriate recuperation which he had been left behind by his team-mates to enjoy. His attempt to escape the nightmarish hospital in Charleston, crawling on his belly with a wide range of broken bones and one or two scorches from when his bed caught light, had ended in the truck ride to the mountains, and a rough carry to a flea-bitten cot in the Cooterbuck household. By this time the pain - from shattered bones no longer protected by crumbling plaster casts - was too hard to bear in a waking state, and he passed out into a deep and troubled dreamland. A couple of slaps and running water on his face brought him round to meet his new host, Clem Cooterbuck, a grizzly old fellow with a collapsed jaw from many decades of drinking the blotwine without any teeth in his head.

Clem spoke to him with a series of hoots, warbles and lispy whistles that made him sound like a pigeon with asthma, and García could not understand him. Eventually the brothers Clinton, Clyde & Clay took turns to assist, but where he had understood them more or less when they dragged him by the hair from the hospital, now they were as incomprehensible as their old father. Losing patience somewhat, Clinton flicked him with a wet towel across the face, and given his overall poor condition, it was enough to knock him spark out again. Sometime later Claudette Cooterbuck, the matriarch, roused him with a shot of the turnip spirit, blotwine, which was so like mouthwashing with paintstripper, that he coughed and sputtered, aggravating the broken ribs he acquired when Gram’ma ran him over with a wheelchair. He briefly passed out again.

For some time thenceforward, life was a series of vignettes in which various two-, one- or no-toothed members of the Cooterbuck family fed him blotwine, and tried various ways to rouse him until he passed out with pain and exhaustion. Methods included patting his brow with a wet cloth, flicking his face with said cloth, shaking him, kicking him, shouting at him, waving at him, and in one instance, getting the two little Cooterbuck girls, Graclyn and Shelby, to sing In The Highways in their best frocks but out of tune. Extended consciousness continued to evade him until Claudette started a regimen of intravenous opiates with a disturbingly rusty needle. By and by, with growing lucidity and pain levels well under his manageable threshold, he began to pick up the lingo again; and while the opiates rendered conversation limited, he gathered his position in the household was neither voluntary nor for his own good. From snatched conversations he picked up through various shutter divisions within the cabin, it seemed he was either being fattened up for the hogs, or a kidnap and ransom bargaining chip - except no-one seemed capable of establishing contact with someone in the outside world who knew precisely who he was or what he was worth. Various elders from the mountains came to assess his value but, as they all said, fyo caint fine none as take responsfa, yaint got no produck as y’k’n sell.

Some days passed when it was all agreed Gram’ma was well enough to be brought before the boy in order that she might recall how it was she ended up riding on him when he was making his way out of the hospital on his belly like some low down worm, why it was she had been rendered unconscious for this act, and to assess whether his intent was kidnap or some other devious mission. She was a most dreadful sight, a toothless dribbling muttering one-eyed mountain devil, maybe a hunnerdfiddy yee ole, and she would be sure to haunt him to the end of his days, he could tell that straightaway. Although, that really might not be too long, given the way things were going. She stared long and hard at him, raised a shaking hand, pointed approximately in his direction (not being entirely sure which way was up or down) and made a cackling, gargling sound, while her one good eye went dark as a thunderstorm on the prairie. “She seh, him try stealllll her way forta impregnate her hide!” translated the grandson Clay, with a tone of barely contained outrage.

I mean, really, thought García through an opiate haze.

“Mmm-hmm” nodded Gram’ma, and then let out a couple of goose-like honks, spittle flicking into the crippled Antivadorio’s face. The little girls burst into tears and the boys cursed vociferously.

“Gityall meathooks, sern” said Clem, with a whistle and a warble, “spigfeedin time.”

IN THE CRUSHER
Vasistan 1-0 TEQUILO HT: 1-0

Location: Vasistan Att: 13+3 stray dogs and a bedraggled carrier pigeon
SCORER: Vasistani#9 49’

Crush or be crushed, that is the lesson. So went coach Isaac Martí’s post-match analysis of another poor day out, where his team, reeling from being punched on the nose by a bunch of cheer girls, came to a disinterested backwater play park, and in front of a handful of anonymous Vasistanis, were beaten again by a handful of anonymous Vasistanis in approximately matching shirts. There was more huff and puff than the last shambles, a bit more intent from some of the players, but in the end, several yellow cards, including two and marching orders for Noxochinoch, a batch of injuries that will force many changes for the next game, and a woeful second defeat in a row leave Los Pitxileros floundering in the real baptism of fire - that first qualifying campaign becoming a difficult lesson in the realities of multiversal football. Sometimes Margaret is your friend… sometimes she just takes a dim view of you. Right now, Tequilo are very much on the wrong side of that fickle friend.

Speaking of changes, Mateo Tafalla succumbs to a serious knock that will leave him out and young Niño Pinto taking his place for his first World Cup game in the next difficult fixture, a home tie with in-form Devonta. That means the prize of Last Man Standing goes to Haize Apeiztegui, who was selected for the Baptism of Fire opener and now, 18 games later, is the only ever-present remaining in the starting line-up. Meanwhile Patrick Zambo is out for two, and will be replaced by firecracker Geraitz Minha, and Ixtub Tün will miss one, with another youngster taking his place, eccentric 20-year old Xilolotl to make his first start. Roxelio Toran looked like he’d come back too soon and veteran Urlegi Gorostola comes in to replace him, while under-pressure coach Martí - yes, we said if for the first time, he’s under pressure - goes for youth in Masango Sukè, 17, on the right wing coming in for Tutayan who coach Martí obviously feels could do with a break.

Starting Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Devonta:
Bienvenida | Minha, Apeiztegui (Capitan), Huracán, Chicchan | Xiloyotl | Artechevarria, Niño Pinto, Sukè | Gorostola & Tlacolotl

by **Twicetagram and JYPe** » Sat May 30, 2020 3:15 am

Life in Twicetagria

We edited our logo to make it look fancier

World Cup 85 Qualifiers: Something's Wrong at Home?
By John Suh

Today we won against Vakolicci Haven and Celeria away from home, scoreline being 3-2. This surprise win has led a lot of fans pondering about something's that has been happening recently. But, before we get there, let's just tell you what happened.
We started off losing at home against The Macabees, which was expected, since they were ranked 37th. We then went to win 4-3 against Bushkrub, in Bushkrub. We had a bye, before winning against Squornshelous, which was quite surprising to say the least. We then held a boring stalemate against Adsuri at Twice Square. Now, we won at Vakolicci.
If you hadn't found anything out YET, it's this: we've been winning every away game, while drawing or losing our home games. What makes it even more of a big deal is that the last two teams we beat were ranked in the top 100, while we're here with our butts in 325th place.
Winning against big teams is not that uncommon for us, with us winning against Krytenia and Xannerian AO Territory in the AOCAF. However, in this world cup qualifiers, we're in a group dominated by Baker Park, Zwangzug and the likes.
Now back to the question. Given our excellent away record and awful home one, this had left fans thinking whether their presence is making it worse.
Some fans think their presence and over-confidence in the team stresses them out.
"Frankly speaking, I think we're stressing the gang too much. At home, where most of us are in, we tend to be very loud, our team tends to stress out because they don't want to disappoint us, you know." said Tony McWellis, who also happens to be a psychiatrist and counsellor.
Some fans, however, tend to be more negative about this.
"You know what? These kids don't want us here. Why'd you think they're doing so well away from home, where less fans are? What about home? Look, in the span of 3 home games, we've conceded 5 goals, while we scored only 2. In away games, it's different. They play more vigorously, as if they are glad of our absence. If these kids don't learn about respecting your homeland, they'd better get the fxxx out of here." 69-year old John Kinney says, in which he claims to be a former top professor for statistics.
Obviously, the truth isn't known yet, but next game we'll see if it's just unluckiness, or if it's more than that when we face Baker Park. Baker Park sits on the top of the group, winning all games. They've scored 31 goals, while conceding only 8. Meanwhile, Twicetagria is 4th place, having leapfrogged Darkmania, Vakolicci Haven and Celeria, and Squornshelous.
If our home curse continues, we'll be expected to lose here. If we can manage even a draw, or even a win, we'll probably have a national holiday.

World Cup 85 || RP Thread

WC Qualifying MD6

The Orthochronica, Chapter 61

The Orthochronica, Chapter 122

WC-85 #8 MD7

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