World Cup 64 RP Thread

by **Gaveo** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 4:20 pm

Past Editions of The Gaveoan Times:
And so it begins...
We tied, but not against the Polar Islandstates
Victory!
Two in a row!
Undefeated.
Ouch.
A dramatic finish in Gaveo.
Special Edition Issue: Interviewing Sebastian Cadiz
A tie with Cassadaigua makes Gaveo go down in the standings.
Special Edition Issue: Gaveo vs Polar Islandstates
A surprising draw gives us nothing but trouble.
Bye week.

The Gaveoan Times

Sliding down the standings...

Disappointment on the Gaveoan side.

By: Beni Cortez

Ouch... Thats all I have to say, ouch, ouch, ouch. Gaveo lost 4-2 to Leorudo a team that Gaveo tied with 9 weeks ago. Gaveo scores first with a goal from Sebastian Cadiz in the 6th minute. In the 17th minute Gaveo increased their lead 2-0 with a goal from Cesar Milano, it seemed that Gaveo was going to win with a 73% possession of the ball. Halftime and Gaveo led 2-0. For some reason the near excellent game played by the Gaveoans at the first half was just a dream as Leorudo roared back and took advantage of the national team's mistakes. In the 47th minute Leorudo reduced the Gaveoan lead 2-1, then in the 50th minute Leorudo took advantage of Joaquin Cadiz's mistake when he dropped the ball and the Leorudoan forward took the ball and tied the game up 2-2. 8 minutes later Leorudo took the lead with a corner kick goal, the ball curved into the net, no other players of either side touched the ball. In the 81st minute Leorudo stamped out the game with a goal from a free kick and finished the Gaveoans off 4-2. We lost a game and we went down again, this time to 5th place in Group 16. Can we ever recover? We face Catholican Catholica next a team we beat 6-1, hopefully we can bounce back with a win and get out from this slide and start getting wins. Go Gaveo.
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A Player's Journey

Leorudo
May, 21st, 2028
Leorudo National Stadium

Sebastian threw his towel at his locker, clearly frustrated by another, "we had it" game. They lost, 4-2. Now their road to Wight and New Montreal States was harder, they were 5th. Now they needed help, they needed Cassadaigua, Qazox and Leorudo to start losing, because by themselves they weren't going to make it. He sighed and looked at his brother Joauqin, if Sebastian was pissed imagine what his brother is going through. He got up and tried to make him feel better but nothing worked, as a goalie every loss was twice as heavy than what a forward or midfielder would feel. After a while he shrugged and got ready for the next match, Catholican Catholica hopefully from there they can rebuild their campaign and make it to the World Cup, for the first time ever... Next game, here he goes...

by **United Gordonopia** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 4:53 pm

"Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light."
-Ephesians 5:14

Finally a breakthrough. Or at least, compared to what Force had known before, it seemed like one.

After searching for a true, solid lead on M16 for months, amidst several other operations, the Kalini operation was beginning to seem like a ghost. Perhaps it had died with the men at Pier 16. Perhaps it never existed at all.

Then, in the waking hours of the morning, a heavily encrypted message arrived from the Arbitrat of Truth. As it began to decode, it was clear that M16 was the subject. Finally, a breakthrough.

It had been won through a concerted effort to crack into the Kalini government's communications. However backwards their home-grown technology may be, Norm Bates had to hand it to the Counties of Tir for ensuring that Kalinin was well supplied where it mattered. In the end, it seemed that a mole in the Kalini secret police, believing he was being operated by another nation, delivered the necessary protocols for Truth to extract a gold mine of data.

First and foremost, the data confirmed that Kalinin's government was indeed behind the operation. Multiple references in the three documents pertaining to M16 Truth had managed to take made it clear that someone, who exactly was still ambiguous, in the upper reaches of the Kalini government was preparing some kind of strike on the Empire.

At least some details of the attack were now clear. It seems that a small amount of explosives, not exactly enough to take out a building, but still certainly dangerous, had been requisitioned. Perhaps they were the main tool, though Norm couldn't help but suspect that they were only a part of a greater plan. Why enlist an armed rebel outfit if all they had to do was plant a bomb?

More importantly, as Norm read through the documents over and over, it became clear that M16 was some sort of assassination plot. Multiple references to 'the target' referred to it as a 'he'; the Kalnini wanted someone dead, and they had been willing to attempt to arm Republican rebels to do it.

The last major revelation Norm gathered was that M16 was still on. The newest document was dated only a week ago; well after the Johnstown raid. The threat was still alive.

Alas, the breakthrough only went so far. Norm dissected every inch of text, ran each document through cryptography programs searching for some sort of code, but the actual identity of the target remained a mystery. Realistically, there were hundreds, no, thousands of individuals in the Empire who could have attracted the attention of the Kalini. Leaders from the various Gordonopian-dominanted city-states that neighbored Warlord Makai's domain, military leaders and politicians both on the mainland and in Taffy, the potential list was massive.

Just as troubling was the fact that neither the location of the attack, nor the date, was clear. While it could be inferred that the attack was at least some months off, there was nothing more specific. Whoever was discussing M16 over what they thought were secure channels already knew enough about the operation to eliminate the need to reference such details.

Thus, while there was finally a breakthrough, it was not everything Norm had hoped for. He was digging in the right place, but the answers were buried deep. Norm could only hope that they would break through the crust in time.

by **Zwangzug** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 5:03 pm

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Talking things out

Following a draw without goals for Zwangzug's national football squad, our staff sat down with a bunch of our stars to talk about this qualifying campaign. Again, paraphrasing occurs from what our guys and gals said. Mostly.

Us: How was this particular match? Not too similar to your first day, was it.
Dima Novak: Oh no, without that crowd to roar us on--I would want to think I know who to pass to, now, it's familiar, but playing away is just a difficult task.

Us: A journalist abroad points out that Zwangzug is in WorldVision, do you follow that at all?
Loris Muraro-Ughi: Oh, that song by Sooth? That group is from Stoal district, I think. I know it's popular down in Bassabook, but that sort of sound is not my thing.

Us: What do you think this squad will do, going forward?
Martina Ruan: Oh that's a good topic. It's hard, you know. It's trying to show off to a big world, "hi, this is Zwangzug, which is a thing and can play football...now and again...awkwardly...without many goals...oh you know." But it should also stand for all of us. Not just which group is controlling things, so that's hard, how do you say to a...a bunch of notators or a small cultural group, "no, football is for you too," as you try to say also "this is who Zwangzug is, not a bunch of old dorky things, but cool and hip..." you don't want to say to your own fans "you old dorks, shut up, nobody wants to know about you." I don't know how it'll pan out.

Us: What do you think about facing Saintland again?
Yuuki Nakano: Saintland got off to a good start, our group has room for this sort of thing, so I think Zwangzug should look at that and say "if a young squad can win and draw lots, so can ours." I would say don't try and go "I shouldn't draw fouls so I'll stay back," no, our backups play strongly and can sub in for you. Don't hold back.

Us: Talk about a surprising thing in your football days.
Shula Bachchan-Laum: So as I was starting out with my club, I got to talk to old sports guys from Zwangzug's past. It was an honor on my part but surprisingly gratifying for anybody to look at what I'm doing now and say "this is what I would want, without knowing it would occur." So that was cool.

Us: And how is this campaign going, all in all?
Joshua Farthing: No stop it, you can't put...your words in my mouth...I will...just...say what I want to say, and you can...print...it...am I doing this right?

Us: What do you think you will do following playing football?
Vipin Lamin: I don't know at all. But that's okay! I look around and I know lots of--odd, possibly, but just--stuff is going on, so you can run into a coach or a fan or a broadcasting idiot in many a location. I will probably not go into coaching or anything, but sports probably will still cross my path, so that's cool.

by **Qazox** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 5:19 pm

Qazox' unbeaten streak this qualifying cycle has ended, but playing @ Polar Islandstates a loss is expected and any other result could be considered an upset. The Eagles gave up two soft goals in the first half, ( Vadim Illich-Svitych in the 20th and Alexsandr van Sorensen in the 28th) as the back line of Qazox has been hampered by a red card to one player and minor injuries over teh past couple of weeks. But despite the loss, Qazox is just 3 points behind the Terns for the group lead, and with both teams still having Bergnovinaia, Cassadagiua, Leorudo and Gaveo on the back-half of the schedule; the race for the top spot (not to mention the #2 spot) will be a battle lasting until the final match of the group.

STATS
Possession
QZX 49.3%
PIS 50.7%

Shots
QZX 7
PIS 9

On goal
QZX 2
PIS 3

Corners
QZX 2
PIS 5

Fouls
QZX 6
PIS 8

Cards: Qazox: Florence Schumer 90+2' (yellow)
Attendence: 67,481
Referee: Ager Besoitaormachea (Iturributa)

by **New Sideburn** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:11 pm

Home Advantage
The game had definitely slowed down after half-time.
New Sideburn were playing with their first-team, the same starting eleven that had drawn with NSI in the first match. But they'd played far better than in the first fixture, as though they truly believed in themselves to pull it off this time. Gerd Thunder had once again been the difference, the big striker hammering in a goal just inside the box in the 17th minute to put the hosts ahead; the 120,000-capacity Farham Theatre went wild. But in the 31st, their fellow Esportivans showed their skill on the ball, Brendan Crawford outfoxing Lukas Strongnese before forcing it past an outstretched Portia Thrift. Yet in the 44th, the hosts once again pulled in front, Lucia Oakwood drifting onto the right wing to play in Gerhard again, who muscled past Justin Redwing to force the ball past Andrew Cunnington at the near post.

But this just paved the way for a very cagey second half. Charmwell went off for Dacia Mountain, and the team had a distinctly defensive focus, aiming to stop NSI from playing it past them. Portia had done superbly to go this far conceding only a single goal, but this was it... the final corner. Cunnington jogged forward. Portia desperately wished she was ten centimetres taller.

The ball came in high. Yellow shirts rose high, as did the grey Cunnington wore, but so in turn did jade green and terracotta. Ultimately, it was Strongnesse who rose above them all to head it well clear. The ball came to di Luca's chest, then his feet, but with approximately minus three seconds left in the match he shot it wildly at goal. The ball went high and wide, and New Sideburn had pulled off a significant upset.

Preview of KINZAR vs. NEW SIDEBURN
By Matt Hope of the Brinemouth Herald

With the recent resurgence of New Sideburn last match, showing both spirit to score twice in the first half and strength to muscle them out of equalising in the second, things look grim for ninth-place Kinzar. Let's take a quick head-to-head...

NEW SIDEBURN FACTS
+ Currently tied sixth in the group, beaten by NSI on goal difference against each other (0-2, 2-1). Five wins, five losses, fifteen scored, twenty-one conceded.
+ Nine of their last ten victories have been by a one-goal margin. The 3-1 victory against Kinzar was the sole exception.
+ They have not, however, drawn in fifteen matches.
+ They have not kept a clean sheet in the entirety of the qualifying campaign so far.
+ Rook Harm, Lucia Oakwood and Gerhard Thunder have been capped in all 21 of New Sideburn's WCC-approved matches; Oakwood and Thunder have started every game.
+ New Sideburn are reliant on their strike partnership; Thunder is top scorer, with 12 goals in 21 caps. Alicia Scabbard has nine in nineteen, and Payne, Charmwell and Rosewood are equal third with three goals each.

KINZAR FACTS
+ Off the foot of the table by a single point. One win, two draws, seven losses, seven scored, twenty conceded.
+ Secured one of those draws yesterday, shutting out the Basque Socialist States for a goalless draw.
+ Scored the least of any side in the group.
+ They call football 'soccer'.

Our result predictors as ever are our expert, pundit John Beasley, and pro wrestling icon Gore Iron God.

J. Beasley: KIN 1-0 NSB
"I can't help but feel that New Sideburn's failure to keep clean sheets won't pay off here, and the Kinzarite giants will draw out their home advantage as far as possible. Our miserable performances against other strong, unpredictable teams will truly come to bear as our overpaid, out of touch players will continue to underperform, and will barely get a touch of the ball."

G. Iron God: KIN 0-37 NSB
"I think this is gonna be a real bloodbath, and the Cormorants will probably suplex their goalkeeper and take his money, then score a few thousand goals. That's what I'd do."

Alright, interesting predictions there from our two pundits; so far Gore Iron God leads with fourteen points and Beasley trails with just five, having predicted every defeat of our lads so far. Join us next week for another round of 'The Herald Predicts'!

by **West Angola** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:57 pm

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

WEST ANGOLA FALLS IN UPSET DRAW, NO LONGER CONTROLS FATE

West Angola drew 0-0 against Kartvelistan last night, suffering its second disappointing result in as many matches. As a result of the draw, West Angola now sits a full four points in back of Ossidiacqua, more than that which can be made up by a single match. The Gold and Blue next takes on Ossidiacqua in Namibe, but even a win would not allow West Angola to get back to where they should currently sit, and where early projections placed them. In order to reach second place, the minimum to reach a play-off for a qualifying spot, West Angola must hope for Ossidiacqua to lose at least one match which West Angola wins, but this is looking more and more unlikely as qualifying goes on. Ossidiacqua defeated Liventia, one of two teams with a good chance at beating them (besides Bears Armed and West Angola), the other being West Zirconia, 2-1 at home, leaving them in good position to do what West Angola never could: complete a coup on the group’s second seed.

Coach Phillip Garren expressed disappointment in the draw, and claimed responsibility for the result, saying “Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more” in what was seen as a clear dig against the Sporting Ministry, which has been more than critical of the team’s failure to live up to expectations recently. A representative of the Sporting Ministry had this to say about Garren’s comment: “Coach Garren has lifted this team up to a very high level, and he has every right to his opinion and the reputation he’s acquired. However, he should remember that no one is irreplaceable. His longtime assistant, Kyle Cole, was sacked in favor of his friend Isaac Warren at Garren’s request, despite having held that position for twelve years. Mr. Garren should take note of this the next time he addresses the media.”

This latest spat between Garren and the Sporting Ministry is part of a long and escalating feud that began after Warren replaced Cole, who had several connections within the Ministry. Garren and Cole had always been cool, and the ugly situation that resulted in Cole’s departure used up much of the goodwill Garren had. The triple alliance of Luke Parrish, Phillip Garren, and Isaac Warren, national heroes all, had previously allowed Garren to remain in power and forced the Ministry to remain quiet in their displeasure, but following Garren’s heart attack they began trumpeting their desire for a new coach. For now, Garren remains in charge, but a failed qualification could spell the doom of his tenure.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 7:53 pm

After Jeruselem lost a game 1-0, Emily Sallad and Princess Katy

Katy: Still got that cold
Emily: I blame the kids
Katy: Kids are always picking up bugs from school
Emily: It is flu season
Katy: But you don't have the flu
Emily: Hey, how come everyone else got one except you

Katy: Superior genes girls
Emily: But I'm related to you
Katy: Not that related
Emily: Close enough to be called a Dallas still
Katy: Actually I caught it early
Emily: See

Katy: Oi, stop sneezing in me. It's not nice
Emily: I can't avoid that
Katy: Good to see Jeru FC as number in their group
Emily: Yes, they beat the warriors 1-0
Katy: Nothing to worry about with them, we just have to avoid losing more game
Emily: I prefer losing to lower rivals since it doesn't give points to higher ranked rivals

Katy: Losing is still losing my girl
Emily: I know
Katy: Didn't you get your flu shot?
Emily: I did, hasn't made much difference!
Katy: A cold isn't a flu.
Emily: Both are still nasty

Katy: Flus can kill, colds just annoy you
Emily: Dunno, I reckon flus can kill
Katy: Nevermind that, you excited about my new TV show?
Emily: "Katy does Starblaydia"
Katy: What's wrong with it
Emily: Sounds like a porno

Katy: It was filmed last year actually
Emily: So it's about you being a whore in Starblaydia
Katy: No, I'm being a tourist
Emily: Still sounds sus to me.
Katy: Hey, I am half Starblaydi
Emily: Your line is a bit mixed

Katy: A bit of Qazian too
Emily: Yes that's quite evident
Katy: Although some thought I was Queen Isabella
Emily: Well you princessses all look alike sometimes
Katy: I'm a redhead, she isn't
Emily: But you lot change hair color a lot

Katy: I suppose
Emily: Time to move on
Katy: Feeling cold?
Emily: The opposite
Katy: You need a Vitamin C drip
Emily: NO I hate needles ...

by **Jeru FC** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:08 pm

After Jeru FC beat Milchama in Milchama ... Melody Pond and Felicia Day

Felicia: GO YOU WARRIORS!
Pond: I'm really sick of hearing that here
Felicia: We are in Milchama
Pond: Yes we are
Felicia: They did good, giving us 3 points
Pond: I wouldn't say give

Felicia: We're now number 1 ... sorta
Pond: Yes, equal on everything
Felicia: Funny dat
Pond: I guess we're doing good then
Felicia: Slow start but slow and steady wins the race
Pond: Don't be too slow though

Felicia: Where's chatterbox?
Pond: Oh her, with her 7 zillion fans
Felicia: I got fans too
Pond: Nothing like her
Felicia: I guess there is a difference
Pond: She's got looks, brains, music talent, can cook ...

Felicia: I got looks and ... err, good point
Pond: Just change your surname to Dallas, it helps
Felicia: Nevermind
Pond: I'm happy with my lot
Felicia: Always complaining about money still
Pond: I'm getting paid less than before ya know

Felicia: But you have a job
Pond: For now
Felicia: You have nothing to worry about
Pond: I am not working for a stingy tight-assed church like hubby does
Felicia: Where's you Christian charity?
Pond: I don't work for free, got kids to feed

Felicia: Me too
Pond: Mortage too
Felicia: At least I get free rent
Pond: In a bunk
Felicia: Small mercies
Pond: We whinge to much

Felicia: It's our job, see
Pond: Princess whinges the most
Felicia: But that's in the genes
Pond: Yes it is
Felicia: I guess someone has to do it
Pond: I guess someone does

by **Taeshan** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:13 pm

Now it is all but over. Two more goals, and only one against and the Purple Knights pulled 14 ahead of Karditan who they defeated, leaving Barunia and 2nd place Hutt River as the only real challenged left on the Knights chances of winning the group. That said the Knights now still sit 5 ahead of Hutt River, and are sure to at least make the playoffs unless a monumental collapse is seen in the coming games. They still have yet to lose, and more than likely they would still have a chance at automatically qualifying if they lost out for first place with one of the best second place positions come the end of qualifying.

For most of the game in the Coliseum it seemed as if the two teams were really even. Even after the Knights took a 1-0 lead in the 21st minute, Karditan had its chances. After Brian Ibrahim's goal it still seemed a very even affair. Karditan would prove this in the 43rd when they tied the game with a masterful through ball defeating the Knights infamous offside trap. The Knights were really not in the need of all three points with such a huge lead, but still they played Knights soccer and for most of the rest of the game freely passed the ball and played a beautiful game. Karditan had two or three more chances, but it was really the masterful subs made by Knights Gaffer Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa who managed to put in a trio of players, Tyler Pantoum, Aaron Conrad and Brian Kljestan who really brought the control back the the Knights for the last half hour, and eventually led to a nice crossed header for the winner by Ender Wiggin.

News after the game is that Iarlaith has decided after three runs with the Knights to end his tenure with the team after the end of the World Cup, which the Knights are all but sure to qualify for. The Knights have asked interested future managers to contact them directly about the possible position for the 65th qualifying campaign on. This news gets the swirling rumors out of the way as they head on and try to make history. Also the Gaffer hinted at interesting lineup changes, and ideas he plans on attempting including a total football esque style of play, with sliding players all over the field. The plans also are rumored to be played by the backups to rest many of the starters for the cup, and to see if the new style of play is plausible. It is also rumored that perhaps the team will call up some of the B team players for later games. When more information comes out we shall tell the fans.

Goalscorers
Ender Wiggin - 9
Brian Ibrahim - 3
Gwyn Juniper - 2
Seth Clapton - 1
Tyler Icicle - 1
Jeremy Jaffacake - 1
Brian Kljestan - 1
Xavier Ptolemy - 1

by **Saintland** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 9:56 pm

Saintland 4, Spagbogia 1

(SP) Although Spagbogia gave the Sanctii a scare for a few minutes, their lead did not last long. The Sanctii came right back and would dominate their lesser opposition en route to a 4 goals to 1 victory. The capacity crowd at Royal Stadium went home happy today as our Kingdom remained in contention to qualify for the World Cup. "Spagbogia stunned us with an early goal today, but we were unfazed by it. We just played our match and they didn't stand a chance. They simply have never won an international match and we weren't going to be the first team to lose to them. They may have gotten a fluke draw against Audioslavia, but they simply cannot compete with us on talent. We focused on this match and we put our trust in God and we won. Now, we need to win our next 2 matches so we can prove beyond all doubt that we are a top-4 team in this group. If it is God's will, we will defeat Zwangzug again and we will defeat Soviet Canuckistan." - Prince Andreas

The match started with a Spagbogian striker receiving a pass from one of their midfielders in the 2nd minute. Georgius Catiotus was overly aggressive on defense, allowing the defender to get through on goal. Alessandro Seius somehow knocked it out for the corner. The corner was a good one, with a defender heading it in for the goal. Spagbogia had taken a 1 to nil lead.

It didn't take long for our Kingdom's National Soccer Team to answer with an equalizer. In the 9th minute, Catiotus made up for his mistake with a long pass to Prince Andreas. The Prince skillfully made his way around defenders and soon he was through on goal. Prince Andreas took a shot and it was a very hard one. It was deflected by the goalkeeper, but it still bounced into the back of the net. Prince Andreas had answered with an equalizer and the match was now tied at 1.

In the 15th minute, Aufidius took the ball away from a Spagbogian striker. The Sanctii slowly, but surely, worked it down the pitch with short pass after short pass. Soon, Prince Andreas had the ball. He passed to Silvester Flaccus, who was inside the box. Flaccus faked a shot and the keeper bought the fake. He passed it over to Petrus Mamilius. Mamilius easily booted it in for his first international goal. The Sanctii now led 2 goals to 1.

Spagbogia tried to answer back as the clock reached the 21st minute. One of their strikers took a shot, but it was wild and it went out for a goal kick. Alessandro Seius booted it long. Mamilius headed it on to Prince Andreas. The Prince passed it to Vagionius. The striker took a shot, but it hit the post. He charged after the ball and kicked it again, but this time it went out for a goal kick. Stephanus Vagionius had blown his first opportunity of this match to score his 10th international goal.

After a few more blown scoring opportunities over the following minutes, the Sanctii had yet another chance in added time as the half neared its conclusion. Prince Andreas took a shot and the keeper knocked it out for a corner. Prince Andreas took the corner and sent it in the direction of Nicolaus Poenius. Poenius headed it, but it hit the bar and ricocheted to a Spagbogian defender, who booted it away. The referee signaled for halftime. The Kingdom of Saintland led by a score of 2 goals to 1, at home in front of a very loud crowd.

At halftime, Cantus Virginum came out onto the pitch for a concert as the schoolgirls in the crowd began to scream. The popular music group performed as the majority of the crowd headed to the concession stands. Princess Maria spoke to the SP, but the King requested that we not publish her comments, as she is legally a minor. We will respect His Majesty's wishes.

After halftime, Prince Andreas led his team back onto the pitch. They came out at their best, but for some reason Spagbogia didn't seem right. In the 49th minute, the Prince received a pass from Ioannes Poenius and sent it on to Stephanus Vagionius inside the box. Vagionius beat the last defender and took a shot. The keeper just missed it and the shot sailed into the bottom left corner of the goal. Vagionius had scored his 10th international goal and the crowd went wild.

Although Spagbogia were already reeling, the Sanctii turned up the pressure. As the clock approached the hour mark, Aufidius sent a long pass to Prince Andreas. The Prince got ahold of it and found his way into the box. With a clear shot on goal, Prince Andreas attempted a shot. His shot would be hit out by the keeper for a corner. As the Prince went to take the corner, he was hopeful that this would be the match-clinching goal. He really needed to go with a more defensive style of play and get his team some rest before the match against Zwangzug. Prince Andreas took the corner and sent it to Georgius Catiotus. Catiotus headed the ball and it went into the back of the net. The Sanctii centerback had just scored his first international goal. Saintland now led 4 goals to 1.

With that, Prince Andreas decided to immediately bring on the Jucundius brothers for the Flaccus brothers. The Sanctii shifted to a 7-1-1-1 look. For the remainder of this match, they did not try to score. All the Sanctii did was attempt to maintain possession and they were very good at it. It was evident to everybody watching that they had spent alot of time practicing for just this sort of situation. Although Spagbogia did get a scoring chance in the 72nd minute, their shot went just too high and landed on top of the net for a goal kick. At the end of the day, the Sanctii had defeated Spagbogia by a score of 4 goals to nil. Vagionius had scored his 10th international goal. Mamilius and Catiotus had scored for the first time. It had been a dominant performance and the Kingdom of Saintland had now won 6 matches out of 10.

The next match for the Sanctii is at Zwangzug tomorrow. Today, Audioslavia was victorious over Backyard Sports by a score of 5 goals to 2 and Kinitaria defeated Krytenia 2 goals to 1. Both Krytenian losses so far were to Kinitaria by a score of 2 to 1. Krytenia and Kinitaria are tied at 24 points each. Third place belongs to Audioslavia with 23 points. The Sanctii currently have 18 points. With matches upcoming at Zwangzug and at home against Soviet Canuckistan, the Sanctii can solidify their position in 4th place with 2 victories. That would set up back-to-back showdowns with Krytenia and Kinitaria, but that is dependent on the Sanctii defeating Zwangzug again. The match will once again be carried on Royal One and massive television ratings are expected.

Before the match, Prince Andreas was chatting with his team.

Prince Andreas - I asked my father to have Cantus Virginum do halftime at all of our remaining home matches.

Josephus Flaccus - You did what?

Alessandro Seius - Andreas, have you lost your mind?

Prince Andreas - I know exactly what I am doing. During the mid-qualification break, I hired somebody to install extra insulation in our locker room. My father won't miss a few denarii from the Royal Treasury. Because of the insulation, we won't be able to hear their horrible singing. Our opponents will have to listen to it.

Alessandro Seius - If that actually works, that was a very savvy move.

Prince Andreas - I will do anything I can do to increase our home field advantage.

Stephanus Vagionius - You know exactly what you're doing, captain.

Prince Andreas - Stephanus, I heard you had an interview with Royal One today. How did it go?

Stephanus Vagionius - You know Abraham Volusenus. He just asked me some questions about our team and about my brother.

Prince Andreas - I'm not putting Philippus on the team, yet. He's too young.

Stephanus Vagionius - I understand, but he would give us a better chance of making it to the World Cup.

Prince Andreas - I want to give him at least a full season in the League before we call him up.

Alessandro Seius - Andreas is right. We don't need to overwhelm the kid too soon.

Stephanus Vagionius - He's my brother, but you may be right.

Prince Andreas - It's time for us to go out on the pitch. Let's beat Spagbogia.

They went onto the pitch and just 2 hours later, they re-emerged as 4 to 1 victors.

Nightly News

Andreas Epidius is in the Royal One news studio.

Andreas Epidius - I welcome you to tonight's Nightly News. Today, the Sanctii defeated Spagbogia 4 goals to nil. That means that our Kingdom's National Soccer team has won 6 matches out of 10. In other news, Prince Petrus had an atrocious game and the National Gridiron Team was knocked out of the Baptism of Iron. Kriegiersien was victorious by a score of 34 to 22, as the Sanctii exited in the Round of 16. Prince Petrus better perform well at the World Bowl. Not only is he an immature prima donna, but now the heir to the Throne and quarterback-captain of the National Gridiron Team has been turning over the gridiron ball at a remarkable pace.

Epidius saw a message on his screen that only he could see.

Andreas Epidius - I'm being asked to stop talking about sports and focus on the other news.

Suddenly, a major news story came in and Andreas Epidius spoke in a very somber tone.

Andreas Epidius - I have just been informed that Feministvs Sanctvsterra has shut down the streets of St. Petrus. Passengers are unable to get to the trains. Apparently, the St. Petrus police are nowhere to be found.

Andreas Epidius looked to his side and thought he saw somebody sneaking through the Royal One Studio, but he wasn't sure.

Andreas Epidius - I warn everybody watching that Feministvs Sanctvsterra is a very dangerous organization. They -

Suddenly, Andreas Epidius cut out and a masked person with a woman's voice had hijacked the Royal One television feed.

Masked Woman - Hello, I am Feministvs Sanctvsterra. I do not have much time. At this very moment, the Patriarchy's armed thugs will arrive and they will attempt to arrest me if i am not out of this facility in time. Who am I? I am the forgotten woman. I am the woman who is denied the opportunity to be independent and support myself by the Patriarchy. I am the woman who is put into a corset just so I can have a figure that satisfies some evil Patriarchal male. I am the woman who is beaten by her husband because he feels like it. I am the woman who was raped and faces fornication charges because she lacked the courage to report the attack. I am the representative of all the oppressed women of Saintland. I know there are many of you throughout this awful Kingdom that believe as I do and see as I see. Right now, I only ask that you join me a year from now. Join me and it will be a day that we will never forget. Join me and we will take down the Patriarchy and liberate the women of Saintland. Join me and we will take down this Church of Lies and their Puppet King. Join me and we will make Saintland into a model for the rest of the world. May the Goddess bless all of you.

Suddenly, it cut back to the news.

Andreas Epidius - I have been informed that a terrorist hijacked this very news program. This terrorist used our network to spew sedition and blasphemy. Rest assured that the authorities will be more aggressively hunting down Feministvs Sanctvsterra in the future. We will bring all of those wicked women and their male enablers to justice and they will receive the harsh punishments that they deserve. Speaking of Feministvs Sanctvsterra, what ever happened to that team of theirs that played in that illegal sport and was behind the computer hacking incident a few weeks ago? Did they sneak back into the Kingdom or are they hiding somewhere? Regardless, I am Andreas Epidius and I thank you for watching tonight's nightly news.

by **Filopines** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:25 pm

Smart, Dumb and Funny
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
(OOC: You may remember 'Handout lady' from Part 4 and 5. She will become a 'recurring character' a la Gunther of 'Friends' and Stuart of 'The Big Bang Theory. Name to be revealed soon)

*at Luis and Julie's apartment*
(Luis and Julie waking up in bed together)
Luis: So, uh... that was nice.
Julie: Yeah. Yeah, it was.
Luis: So, what does this mean? Are we a couple now?
Julie: If you want it to.
Luis: Ok. We are a couple then. You are my girlfriend and I am your boyfriend. Cool.
Julie: Cool. Well I'm going to go outside now. You wanna go together?
Luis: Sure.

*meanwhile in the living area of Luis and Julie's apartment*
Aaron: Pretty big, huh? Luis and Julie sitting in a tree! (pokes Mark twice) Huh? (pokes Mark again) Huh?
Mark: Yeah, pretty exciting.
Rachel: I call godmother!
Kate: What?! You can't do that! It's not like it's a rule or something.
Rachel: It's called common sense.
Kate: Wh..wh..what?
Rachel: You wanna go?!
Kate: Never mind.
(Luis and Julie walk out of the room)
(The other four smile at them)
Julie: What you smilin' at?
(Mark, Aaron, Rachel and Kate giggle)
Julie: (to Luis) I need to go to work now, honey. (kisses Luis)
Luis: Bye. Girlfriend!
(Julie smiles)
Mark: Me and Kate are going shopping. See ya guys.
Aaron, Luis and Rachel: Bye.
Luis: Coach Reid said he wants to meet with me. Bye.
Aaron and Rachel: Bye.
(Luis, Kate, Mark and Julie leave)
Rachel: Hello, Aaron.
Aaron: AAAHHH!!! (runs) I'M COMING, MARK!!!

*Mark, Kate and Aaron at the shops*
Kate: (to Mark) Why did Aaron have to come? (Mark and Kate look at Aaron behind them)
(Aaron smiles)
Mark: He doesn't want to be alone in the same room with Rachel.
Kate: Why?
Mark: Ugh... It's complicated.
Handout lady: Drink of the day is Whiskey Sour! Here you go! (gives handout to Mark)
Mark: Uh, thanks?
Handout lady: Hi, Aaron!
Aaron: Hi, Rebecca!
Handout lady (Rebecca): How's football?
Aaron: We lost. To Yakostan!
Rebecca: That's crap! Crap! CRAP!
(Mark pulls Kate and runs away)
Aaron: Yeah, shame. Anyway, see ya Rebecca!
Rebecca: Bye!
(Aaron walks away)
Kate: She's cute. But scary. Who is she?
Aaron: Oh, that's Rebecca! You know her.
Mark: Uh, no we don't.
Aaron: Oh, yeah, you don't go to my Spanish class. That's Rebecca Lawson. I wanna ask her out but I can't.
Mark: You're taking a Spanish class? 88 percent of Filopinians speak Spanish.
Aaron: Shut up, will you.
Mark: I'm sorry.

(OOC: Sorry for cutting it short at the end. I really need to be somewhere. This will be continued tomorrow.)

by **Ko-oren** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:31 am

"You know what we can do to keep Bearded Moose from scoring?"

"Well, I've been thinking that too. They're the highest scoring team still under us, we can't really let them continue their scoring streak. I know we've been keeping teams like the Archregimancy and Jedi from scoring, but we can't allow to concede a goal."

"Sure. So, what I've been thinking: it's a game at our home. So we can do to the field what we want. Second: BM needs passing to get to our goal. Third: we don't rely on passing that much. We have one thing to do: flood the field. Water everywhere. Slows down everything and everyone. It's failsafe. We play a long ball, we win. 1-0, three points."

"There is even rain... or at least, they predicted rain on Maethoru. What a coincidence. The stadium in the wettest environment should help us to flood the field."

...

"One hour to go to the match. Look at these clouds, look at the rain! We hardly have to do anything... but block the drain. At this rate, when we start, the ball won't roll, all the players will at least sink a little bit into the field which means nobody will be able to accelerate."

"This plan can only get us a win. Nothing less! This is so clever..."

... (Ko-oren 0-0 Bearded Moose)

"You know what we forgot? Flooding the field doesn't only prevent the opponent from doing anything, but if your own team plays long ball, the ball won't bounce either. You can't dribble either. May have been the only oversight we've had... But it came at a cost, obviously. I never knew a draw could feel like a loss..."

"And that while we had so many draws! This is our sixth!"

"At least we're still number one in the Draw Cup!"

"Draw Cup?"

"Yeah, Draw Cup!"

New official Draw Cup standings!

1. Ko-oren - 6
2. Armed Bears - 4
   Legalese
   Sargossa
   Bongo Johnson
   Cowardly Pacifists
   The Gypsies
   Glascovia
   Camerania
   Turori
   Leorudo
   Gaveo
   Charruterra

And these are not the only rankings, our colleagues in the Equestrian States have compiled the overall standings of all 190 teams in the World Cup, and after MD9, Ko-oren was ranked 61st.

Good thing: That's only three places below the lowest runner-up of any group, which means a team like us could still qualify.

Bad thing: That's 11 below our KPB ranking, which suggests we should drop in rankings.

Good thing: The only thing is that we have been underperforming this way (finishing 4th or 5th in the qualifying) for the last three/four cups. Our ranking has stalled at 50 for three cycles, too. A cycle like this shouldn't hurt our rankings too much AS LONG AS WE MAKE IT TO THE CUP OF HARMONY.

Bad thing: We drew in MD10, which is after the rankings as compiled. This means we've been overtaken by a number of teams below us in the list. Our goal difference is so low that we might only have overtaken two teams that were only a point above us after MD9.

Good thing: The coming two matches are against teams ranked a lot lower than we are. Draws are likely (we've played 0-0 and 1-1 against these two teams before), but victories are still expected.

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:10 am

The Inevitable Syndicate 4 – 3 Tyrants
Syndicate: Mitchell 18' 32', Birch 55', Pratt 81' / Tyrants: Unknown 11' 62' 76'
Another goal-packed game against the Tyrants, this time at home for the Syndicate. Right off the bat, the pressure was on as a win was much needed in order to secure our place in the league tables. Mitchell definitely put the effort in in the early game, scoring in the 18th, but not before the Tyrants put a goal past us in the 11th. Of course, Mitchell didn't just stop there, and half an hour in, another goal was scored, drawing up the score to 2-1. It wasn't until the second half that the Tyrants would bite back, but by this time, Birch had already chipped a ball past the opposing net. The Tyrants scored two more goals in the second half, and also managing to injure Ethan Sinclair in the process. This earned us a corner, that paid off with Pratt scoring a last-minute goal to clinch a win. Just.

Chapter i. Negotiations
Chapter ii. Raiders of a Lost Art
Chapter iii. Some Assembly Required
Chapter iv. The Syndicatian Intelligence Agency
Chapter v. Hidden in Plane Sight
Chapter vi. Cramming & Planning
Chapter vii. Pharaohs and Prophecies
Chapter viii. From Fligsive With Love
Chapter ix. Casino Generale
Chapter x. Split Up and Look For Clues

by **Sicoutimont** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:43 am

We Await Election Results

It's June 25! But, this article has been written early in the evening, so we don't know who the Prime Minister is. We have the final day of the election, plus updates from the ballot counting which has just started here in San Cristobal, who are 1 hour behind the rest of Sicoutimont; so polls have already closed. On the final day of the election, Niles Coaches was in St-Simeon, Charles-Jean Roberval in Ile Perrot, and Louis Brebeur was in Lac-Drouin. All of these leaders expressed the need for people to vote for their parties to make a better Sicoutimont; with the speeches not changing so much between them. The final polling results are below, but we spoke to people on the streets of Lac-Drouin outside a polling booth to see how they felt about the election. Here's the final polling results

On June 25; Who will you vote for?
Social Democratic Union-46%
Labour Party of Sicoutimont-45%
Communist Party of Sicoutimont-6%
Other-3%

SDU went back ahead of the polls, and the Communists gained a few points. Outside the polling booth at Rue Fonteniere, the Hugh James Elementary School, we spoke to a few citizens, and one very important citizen. "I voted for Niles Coaches....he's turned this nation into an economic powerhouse, and he'll probably retire at the end of this term, so why not? He's done good so far, who's to say he won't do well again?" Andrea Colton said. Her friend, Jen Arbuton, said "I voted for Roberval; I feel that yes Coaches has done a good job, but we need a better healthcare system." A few minutes later, the most important voting person arrived: Emperor Jean III. 'Jean Royale,' as he is affectionately known, showed his ID to the Sicoutian Imperial Guard member at the booth, and cast his ballot. "I won't tell you who I voted for; but I believe that this person can give Sicoutimont a strong future, and I always look forward to working with them, be it as leader of the opposition or Prime Minister; you guys can't know who I voted for!" Well, Jean, we may figure out that it wasn't Louis Brebeur. The ballots are being counted as I speak, with results coming in from San Cristobal. 6 ridings are on the island; the same as a small city. It's expected the Communists and Labour will split the vote here, as the SDU are not popular for their policies towards the status of the Islands. Results are in from La Espanola city! La Espanola-Est was won by the Communist candidate Jean Perrault, and La Espanola-Ouest was won by the Labour candidate, Carlos de Santas. 4 other seats on the island are available; and as the only territory to send 6 Communists to the legislature of St-Simeon Province; the only Communists in the 72 seat legislature, it's likely Louis Brebeur will get most of his seats here. Anyways, we'll keep you updated through the night live on TV, so check in every so often to see who's leading the race for the Prime Minister's Office!

Other Top Stories:
Sargossa and Polar Islandstates Draw Closer to Potential Conflict
Darmen Passes New Legislation on Westlands
Girard Giroux Helps Edmonton United to 9th in Valladar Super League Standings

Royales Defeat Rikatan-They've Now Got A Point From Every Team In Group 15

Yep, you heard that right. The Sicoutians, who are now 3rd in the group and also have the least losses of any team in the group, are apparently a stingy bunch. The only loss was to Rikatan away on opening night, but now they've beat the Rikatanis 3-2 at home in Stade St-Pierre. Rikatan started out good, with #9 scoring in the 33rd minute for the first goal of the game. Girard Giroux had hit the crossbar in the 32nd minute, and Georges Allonts had missed the net even earlier then that on a 1 on 1. Alex Gannot would tie the game in the 44th minute, and the first half would end at 1-1. Girard Giroux scored in the 61st minute, and Rikatan's number 7 evened the match again in the 68th minute. But that was for naught, as substitute Stan Sarault scored the 3rd goal for the Sicoutians in the 82nd minute, which the Rikatani could not answer again, giving Sicoutimont 3 points. Here's the box score; brought to you buy http://www.footybets.scm!

World Cup Qualifing MD10
Sicoutimont vs Rikatan, @Stade St-Pierre
Sicoutimont 3--------Rikatan 2
Gannot 44'              #9 33'
Giroux 61'               #7 68'
Sarault 82'

Sicoutimont's next game is against Yelvoldia in that nation, with the next home match being against Yesopalitha at Stade Pierre-Beach or SportCity. The previous games against these teams were a 4-3 victory over the Yelvoldians and a 1-1 draw with the Yesopalithans. Sicoutimont are 3rd in the group with 21 points, and Yesopalitha and Jeruselem are tied for first with 22 points. A Jeruselem loss to Northern Sunrise Islands with Sicoutimont beating Yelvoldia, with Yesopalitha still to play Maklohi Vai could alter the standings greatly. Anyway, tune in to see the Sicoutimont-Yelvoldia game, next week on your TV, Radio, or a livestream from online!

by **Slembana** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 5:21 am

"We lost, Jyvx."

"I know, Aaron. It's our fifth successive game without scoring."

"What was the score?"

"We lost 1-0."

"To who?"

"Stachland. They're ranked 33 places lower than us in the KPB rankings."

"That's ridiculous. We're doing even worse in this cycle than we did in the last."

"I know. This cycle was supposed to be better than the last. It's instead becoming even worse."

"Who are our next opponents?"

"Glascovia."

"I think we should beat them. However, we probably won't."

"I'd expect Gaudreau to be sacked after this qualifying campaign if we do awfully. He will be sacked at the end of this qualifying campaign if we do poorly - I believe that the Sicoutian FA said that we could do that."

"Bye Jyvx."

"Bye Aaron."

Endangered Species of Slembana - Part Three - The Lamura

Introduction
The Lamura is a bizarre purple animal found only in Slembana. It is threatened by poaching and habitat loss.

Description
The Lamura has a purple body. It has no legs, and instead moves by using a square-shaped block at the bottom of the body. Its body is small and thin, but, as it becomes the neck, it gets wider. The head is shaped like a balloon. The Lamura's teeth are mainly flat, and not sharp. At the forehead, an appendage emerges. It goes down diagonally, before becoming a long thing that points in the other way. It becomes this when it is level with the mouth. The Lamura measures 75 cm (29.5 ins) tall, and weighs about 1.2 kg (2.6 lbs).

Distribution and habitat
The Lamura is found only in Slembana. Its range has been greatly reduced, and it is now found in patches of south and north-west Slembana. Its natural habitat is rainforests, savanna, grassland, and coniferous forests, although it will sometimes enter urban areas.

Diet
Most of the Lamura's diet consists of plants, such as leaves, grass, and fruit. However, the animal will sometimes take animal prey, such as insects and spiders. It will occasionally eat vertebrate animals, like fish.

Predators
The Lamura has a wide variety of natural predators, mostly due to its rather small size and apparent lack of defences. Predators include lions, tigers, Komodo dragons, Fellochis, Flasherbackers, and crocodiles. Lamura eggs are vulnerable to snakes, primates, rats, pigs, and monkeys. The chicks are extremely vulnerable to predators - one youngster was seen to be eaten by a tarantula.

Conservation
At the beginning of the 20th century, the Lamura was widespread across the whole of Slembana, with its population numbering at about 225,000. However, by the end of the 20th century, the Lamura's numbers had dropped to just 16,000 - causes included hunting and loss of habitat. A further decline saw the animal's population drop to 4,500 animals by 2016. However, by 2022, the population had increased to 8,000 animals. The animal is still rare, but the increase in population is a good sign.

by **Northern Sunrise Islands** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 5:36 am

DE PLACA
Better hair than the Red Rooster!

WORLD CUP 64 QUALIFIERS
New Sideburn ones-up NSI, 2-1.

NSI would go to New Sideburn with high hopes after almost beating Sicoutimont, but things didn't got better. Gerd Thunder opened for the opponent side as the giant scored one on the Marills, as the crowd responded wildly to such goal. It took us around fourteen minutes for Brendan Crawford to make his move and tie the game up. Lucia Oakwood would then answer it back still in the first half.

The Second Half was just what we could expect of a match between a team that has been developing and a team that flip-flops its development. NSI took almost all the chances of the second half. Heck, it seemed like all the eleven players were somewhere near the defensive area. In a nutshell, defensiveness worked and New Sideburn grabbed their win.

The only person laughing on our side was the Minister of Sports, acting as a good old Deadpan Snarker, declaring that once again, the Marills flinched at an opponent, asking if it was a trainer problem or if they needed more gym badges.

by **Blouman Empire** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 6:11 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT

7/12

First Name: Ian
Surname: Nerden
Squad Number: 2
Position: Left Back
Club: Braxon City
Town of Birth: Quilton
Nation: Braxon
International Appearances: 18
International Goals: 0

Bio:Ian was first called up to play for the Empire for the 55th Cup of Harmony in the hopes that he would shore up the Blouman's back line. To his credit Ian has been successful in his role as left back confidently holding off a many attacks down the flank. As a defender he has a strong tackle and has on more then one occasion left his attacker feeling the pain as Ian slams into him to win the ball. Despite being apart of the starting 11 for the Empire it was only over the past few years that people were starting to take notice of his ability. Ian was signed up to Braxon City four years ago at the age of twenty after being released by his old club Princes Bridge and spent his first two years in the reserve team and for six months out on loan to Poulton and his strong performances landed him in the first team. After a number of stints as a substitute Ian had forced himself on the starting 11 for City and it was then that he really began to shine as he successfully stopped attack after attack from a number of opposing teams and helped Braxon City win the league for a record 24th time. Last year his skills in the back line again saw Braxon City win the BFA Cup and into the final of the Blouman Champions League.

While Ian is considered to be an important part of the the team his relationship with many of his teammates has hindered his and the team's ability to bring about greater success. Ian's normally reserved and shy personality has lead to contention with some of his teammates who view him as an outcast and not a team player, this has lead to a number of altercations both on and off the field. Ian is currently married to his wife of 2 years Natalie and has twin sons James and John aged 13 months.

by **Licentiapacisterra** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 6:22 am

Cyan-and-Gold Observer

Still Fighting

The Licentian national team has begun their attempt to redeem this World Cup campaign with a 4-1 victory over bottom-dwellers Tobys Great Britain, to pull them within one point of fifth placed Kintratar, and seven points off the playoff place with eight games to go.

Captain Nate Parkinson started off well, worrying Gordon Banks with a smashed free kick from thirty yards out, before a longer free kick floated into the box found Kyran Stevenson, who headed home to put the Licentians in front. King Keir, who had been troubling the defence all match, scored the Cyan-and-Gold’s second on the brink of half-time, putting a simple poacher’s goal past Banks.

The Cyan-and-Gold were quick to score a third after the break, with Jacob Paterson’s cross causing a scramble in the middle, with Tobys Great Britain centre back Billy Wright appearing to get the last touch before the ball trickled in. In the last ten minutes, substitute Nat Lofthouse scored a simple tap-in past Ritchie, but it was only consolation, as Logan Moran came off the bench to give Schwartz’s side a decisive victory, and a chance to push on to qualification.

Next, the Cyan-and-Gold head to take on Estope, who lie in third in the group, with a hope to take a victory and pull themselves ever closer to a playoff spot in the very least, as they should be fighting for.

It was a busy day in RLFA headquarters in the centre of Montfort. All the big names on the board were sat in the office of the Duke of Montfort and head of the Royal Licentian Football Association, Andrew Finlay de Montfort, discussing the state of the national team.

“Something is clearly up.”

“Joachim’s obviously just having a little trouble settling in. No shame in that, he can make it up in the second half.”

“But can he ??”

“I agree, we’re too far behind for him to be able to make anything of it.”

“But we can certainly fight for it.”

Then, a knock at the door silenced the chatter.

“Come in,” de Montfort said, almost lazily. “This better be good.”

A female assistant rushed in, handed the Duke a thick brown envelope, and rushed out again.

“Thank you Alice,” de Montfort called after her, a smile on his face.

The Duke pulled a letter opener from his suit pocket, and opened the envelope, pulling out its contents. As soon as he saw what was contained within, his face turned stern, and one simple word explained his mood.

“Fuck.”

A chorus of mumbles erupted from the table. The Duke was usually calm, and cool. What in the world would cause him to react like this ?? As if in reply, de Montfort threw the papers into the middle of the table. The whole table gasped. Two in particular, Alexander Simpson and James McIntosh, both very high up in the RLFA, looked especially shocked to see their faces in the photos, along with that of the Duke, and Joachim Schwartz. However, it was the timestamp at the top of the photo that worried them most. It placed the photos as being taken three quarters of the way through World Cup 63 qualifying.

McIntosh shook the envelope, looking for anything else incriminating. A small slip of paper dropped out. Printed on it were the words “Call me”, and a chain of numbers, presumably a phone number. Nobody recognised the country of origin.

“Fuck indeed, your highness,” Simpson said, dropping his head into his hands. “Fuck indeed.”

by **Shadowbourne** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:32 am

Kharai Dotzer sprinted away from the dark alleyway. He was in trouble, and he knew it. Sprinting obviously wasn't the best way to deflect attention from yourself, but it was certainly the quickest way to flee a crime scene without the assistance of a motorized vehicle. He needed to get out of here, and fast. It was only a matter of time before the police would find the bodies of the men he had killed, even with them buried under several feet of trash. Spotting a policeman, Dotzer slowed to a walk. As he caught his breath, his mind was clouded with thoughts. The situation in its entirety was a mystery, really. Alexey had been one of the most influential men in the footballing community of Shadowbourne. He had spent hours slaving away behind a desk for the benefit of the national side. Surely, anyone with a personal investment in the team as great as Alexey's would be glued to a television for any international competition, let alone World Cup qualifiers. Any football fan residing in Shadowbourne would be at the edge of their metaphorical seat, waiting breathlessly to discover the victor.

Unless they already knew who was going to win.

Dotzer let out an audible gasp of alarm as he realized what exactly had been going on. Alexey, Dotzer's good friend and colleague, was fixing the World Cup. Of course, Dotzer knew as well as anyone that such an operation was almost impossible without the help of someone on the inside; an official, almost certainly a referee. Dotzer was well aware that there had been a number of seemingly fishy results already during this most recent session of World Cup qualifiers; why, just last night, Slembana had lost to a Stachland team ranked more than twenty positions lower than them. If Dotzer remembered correctly, several of Slembana's goals had been nullified on offside calls that seemed questionable, to say the least. Dotzer quickly race-walked over the the KwikGo convenience store on the other side of the street. Dotzer didn't bother using the crosswalk. He already had three felonies under his belt; what was one more misdemeanor? As he entered the store, he grabbed the first newspaper he could find. He payed in cash; it was better not to leave a digital trail, which was about all credit cards were good for these days. Leaving the store, he lowered himself quickly onto the first bench he could find, he leafed through the paper, stopping when he arrived on the Sports section. As expected, the World Cup qualifiers box score were on the first page, front and center. He breathlessly located the Slembana-Stachland box score, and looked. As he read, he nodded with grim satisfaction.

He had been right.

Listed right under the match attendance was the referee.

It was Ratko Issacson, age 47, of Rockport, Shadowbourne.

by **Barunia** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:46 am

BNN Sports News Update: WC64 Qualifying - Game 3 Stats
Barunia 1 - 3 Powersith
Monroe '12
Vanor ' 31
Featherstone '50
Monroe '78*
*Official. Possibly Millet '78 (own goal)

GAME TEN
Stephen WIggens
Powersith. The Suns had lost to them the first time round, in a game that would forever be remembered as the only qualifier Barunia's captain actually led his side out for. "Damn Joric!" said WIggens, to no-one in particular. The coach wasn't happy with Victor's captaincy recently. He'd been self-absorbed the last few games, and even his shooting had suffered. He'd been lucky to score twice against Egpty, and his shooting against Hutt River had been wild. Wiggens had decided to give some one else a go at the captaincy. Usually, he'd usually pass the role to the vice-captain, but Castolo was the vice-captain, and Wiggens had yet to appoint another. A part of him had hoped that Joric would come back. Wiggens was beginning to believe that he would never rejoin the Suns.

Lucio David
Lucio was back on the field, and it felt good. What was better was that they were playing at home, and no cries of traitor echoed from the stands, like they had last time he played at Northport. He'd caused a riot then by advocating the socialist cause int he civil war, and since then security had been upgraded at the ground. Wiggens had made it clear to the Suns that they were not here to be political. They were here to play football, and that was what they were to focus on. Lucio was just happy to be back.

Lucio may have been happy to be back, but he was not happy with the score. Powersith scored twice in the first half to no reply from Barunia, with Patrick Monroe and Robert Charles Vanor doing the damage. In the second half, Coach WIggens made a surprise substitution, pulling Castolo for centre forward Timothy Featherstone. It worked, with Featherstone scoring in the fiftieth minute after Zokora played him in to space.

Lucio was excited. Could they still be in this? He had no idea why Wiggens had pulled Castolo though. He was the best goal scorer the Suns had. Certainly goals were going to be hard to come by for the Barunians, with Powersith dominating possession in the second half. Midfielder Taylor Macwellmen had the ball for Powersith, and as David rushed him he disposed of it with a high cross into the box. Millet, back as usual leap up to head it out of danger. Instead, he collided heads with Patrick Monroe, while the ball took a glancing blow off the tops of their heads and flew off in a direction that caught Willans by surprise. Powersith had three goals, but no one was celebrating, concerned as they were with the two players sitting dazed on the ground. Both coaches decided to substitute the injured players off the field, and Millet was helped over to the waiting medical staff as Tommy Clinton ran on to replace him.

Stephen WIggens
Wiggens through his head into his hands in despair as Millet went down. Apart from the goal, which all but ensured a Powersith victory, he now had another defender down. Damn Ruskin again. Thanks to his walk-out, Wiggens was down to five defenders. If one was ruled out, that left him just one spare man, and no options. That's what Wiggens needed right now. Options. The Suns were slipping behind, and they needed a shake-up. Perhaps, if Joric came back. But no-one had seen him since he'd left.

by **Armed Bears** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 8:15 am

"A draw, another furless draw: Urrgah!"

"Ayyuh. Our girls hrreally weren't on their best form last night, were they?"

"No, they weren't for true. Bear-on-a-stick!* Even playing away, they should have been able to do LOTS better than that against a team that's hrranked hrright down at five-eightSquareds'th like that one. Urrgah!"

"For true. And so the Belles are still only fourth-placed in their group, not even third as their own ranking would suggest should be the case let alone up there with a hrrealistic chance of finally qualifying for the World Cup properrr..."

"Ayyuh. Not good. At least in the last few Cups, if our girls didn't actually qualify, they ended up at the same level in the group as they'd originally been seeded at... but this time around, to me at least, even that doesn't look as likely to occurr as it "should" do."

"So, if they don't qualify, do you think that we'll be able to hold on to Ug-Ug as coach after failing again?"

"Do you think that we should try to hold onto Ug-Ug as coach after failing again?"

"Ayyuh, for true. It's not his fault, I hrreckon, it's the players -- hwhom he wasn't given much choice about -- hwho've becoem too used to being at around their current level and can't find enough drrive to push for more. They're getting too old to be hrreally competitive, mostly, and we need pretty well a hwhole new team!"

"Hr'rmm... Well maybeso, maybeso..."

______________________________________________________________

OOC

* The exclamatory phrase "Bear-on-a-stick!" refers to the death by impalement of Artos Ursios, the first teacher of the religion that's now known as 'Ursionity' in his honour. The English-language expression "Christ on a cross!" is probably the closest equivalent in RL, but the Ursine form is generally considered to be significantly 'stronger' than that alternative...

by **Apox** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 8:16 am

An Adventure In Old Guard - Part Ten

David reached that car, shouting

"Quick Clement, get it open, let's go, what are you waiting for? Clement! Clement?" He tailed off after realising he was alone in the car park, with Clement no-where in sight. How had this happened? Clement had been right behind him. How was he going to get out of here? How was he going to help Clement? After a few seconds of deliberation, David decided that going to get help would be better than going in alone, considering how many people had been inside. He turned around, and began to jog out of the compound to find Jon and Jennifer in the car.

***

Clement was dragged backwards by the large guards, who he couldn't shift even slightly out of the way despite struggling furiously.

"Stop struggling!" shouted one of the guards, and the other punched him in the stomach, winding him and stopping any struggling instantly. His radio crackled into life, and he could hear the muffled voice of Jon down the other end. Silently cursing, he watched as one of the security guards picked up the walkie talkie and tried to operate it. Thankfully, the guard was too stupid to operate the walkie-talkie, simply saying,

"We'll let the boss deal with that one." After a couple more minutes of being dragged along corridors, they entered a darken room. After flicking a light on, the guard sat him down on a chair opposite a desk. After being tied to the chair, the two guards left, turning the light off, and plunging him into darkness. It only then occurred to him how terrified he was, as he hadn't been able to reflect on his feelings whilst he was being dragged around. The darkness and the ropes had made any chance of escape impossible, and he didn't even tempt his mind with such thoughts, instead preparing his mind for any interrogations that may occur. He didn't have long to prepare, as the doorway opened, revealing a silhouette against the lights which was now flooding into the room.

(Scorer against Lacus Magni) - John Capenter 34'

by **Maklohi Vai** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:21 am

It has been quite a day indeed, both for myself and the team. Prior to the Jeruselem game, my teammates and I went out to the Wakita pier early in the morning. It's become quite a bit of a ritual for us.

The sun glides over the glassy water
Rippling with small waves and an otter

The pier provides a respite and a moment of silence before the chaos that normally occurs on game day. Going out there for 30 minutes can do a lot to cleanse the mind and put you at peace. There's something about the water that makes it like a part of you. Maybe it's just part of being Vaian, after all "Vaian" roughly translates to "of the water." I can't put it quite into words, but there is a constant obligation to feel connected to your ancestors in Vaian culture. I know both grandmothers, but only one grandfather. They are all wonderful people, but sadly only one remains. It was this one, my grandmother Ilina, whom I visited after that trip down to the water. She lives in a modest house in the North Wakita suburbs, with some flowers outside her front porch. She always has some POG* juice ready for me when I come, even though that's something I outgrew a long time ago. When I came to her this morning, she was especially cheery. I asked, "A'uma**, why are you so happy?" "Because, Tumo," she said, "I have a feeling you will do well today." I told her I appreciated the sentiment, but I reminded her that we were playing the number 30 team in the world. She chuckled. "Yes, but weren't The Archregimancy ranked number 30 as well when you tied them two cycles ago? And to that, ASMV was number 2." "I suppose so, a'uma. There is always hope."

The old may seem feeble and weak
Their joints move with a creak
But their minds are sharp as obsidian
Their thoughts as straight as a meridian

I left her house with an upbeat spirit. It seemed like things could go very well today, especially after a'uma gave her thoughts. I arrived to the pitch, as is my custom, about 4 hours early for the 7pm game. Normal ball drills, passing drills, shooting drills. Nothing really seemed out of place. As my teammates slowly came in as well, I said hello and gave them my luck, as we normally do for each other. I worked hard to refine my shot, something I felt was bit off in the past couple games.

The ball flies as it may through the air
For one side, hope; for the other, despair

The game came along at scheduled time, and I eyed my opponent. They appeared to be a bit tired; for what reason I couldn't tell. It was not my business anyway. As the game got going, I felt confident that something was going to turn out right. I got a shot off in the 15th minute, a bit far but nonetheless making the keeper move. My coaches always say, "If you shoot, it better be on goal." The theory is that if you put it near the keeper enough times, eventually one will go in. This certainly appeared to be the maxim we were working under. From the first shot in the 15th until halftime 30 minutes later, we had 8 shots on goal. I'm sure halftime commentary was focused on that.

You know, Pulo, they've got quite an attack going
Indeed, and I think that before long a score will be showing

So we kept up the attack, getting off 5 more shots in the next 40 minutes, but still nothing. It appeared like a draw was in our future. That would certainly be something we would be content with, but we kept pushing, hoping. That paid off in the 88th minute, when I jumped on a pass between two Jeruselem defenders. Looking back at the tape, I can see how oblivious they were to my presence. I guess I was just in the right place at the right time. I took the ball almost to the inner box, and the keeper was paralyzed. A simple shot into the left corner, and we were done.

The rush of victory strikes one at one moment
The euphoria one feels- do not lament

After the game, I got plenty of congratulations and slaps on the back, etc. All I wanted to do was sign some autographs for the kids and then go home. Winning such a large game hasn't really sunk in yet, I guess, but I certainly hope for greater enlightenment to come to me at a later time. For now, I sign off.

Tumo

*Pineapple-Orange-Guava
**loving term for grandmother

by **Valladares** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:26 am

(OOC Disclaimer: The "Pasquín de la Oveja Negra" is just a sensationalistic lampoon and as such, is not a reliable and/or serious source of information. Reading discretion is advised.)

EL PASQUÍN DE LA OVEJA NEGRA
Believe us, we always say the truth!

Royal Parliament session ends in laughter after Darmeni declarations are released

METROPOLIS - Yesterday's session of the Royal Parliament of Valladares had an unexpected end, as all the 125 MPs laughed at the shallow and pathetic statement released by the Darmeni "Prime Minister" regarding the Westlands issue. Those words were invoked by the Parliament Chairman when the MPs were analyzing the Westlands situation and the constant Darmeni threats and intimidations. They already think that by defeating us in a football game suddenly they're better than us, pfft. Alright, let's now quote those amusing words by some Darmeni dude we don't really care about:

That any move made by the Valladars that we perceive as even the slightest bit threatening to the integrity of our borders or sovereignty, will be met with a quick and harsh response. They've been warned before, and they'll be warned again.

Obviously we already know how this ended, and this is how the Parliament Chairman, Michael Prat (and the one who is going to be thrown to the bonfire by the Tories in June) reacted (note that we found some trouble to get his opinion due to the fact that he couldn't stop laughing, but this is what we got):

"The Darmenis are scared, and this is what you get when you try to threaten a Valladar land, no matter who you are. And now they say they're warning us? Oh please Peari, don't try to make yourselves the victims when you were the ones who started provoking us. Excuse me, I can't continue, this is too much...hahahahaha..."

EPON then decided to take a nap and wait until the MPs stopped laughing, and then approached Patricia Gil, the Liberal weapon for the June elections, who said that "any further Darmeni threat will be dealt with harshly, and by that I mean that we won't hesitate to convince the King to press that red button and fire those missiles. If they want their land to be safe and unharmed, the answer is simple: leave us alone."

We at EPON tried to get declarations from LIga Católica and/or Partido Verde members but they were unavailable to us (that snub won't go unanswered...), however, we knew firsthand and, through an extremely reliable source (that our sources are not reliable is not true, and we once again prove it, ha!) that the MPs considered during the session the possibility to pass a law allowing the SDF to just launch a missil at Scott City and finish this once and for all, but after watching the declarations coming from that pigsty to the west of the Westlands, they realized that the best thing to do was to keep them untouched, since the Darmenis (for a day) were the main source of amusement for the honourable MPs, that is, 125 upright, unblemished (and above all, not corrupt) representatives of the whole Valladar people.

Oh, and to any idle Darmeni government official reading this: Be careful, those missiles can even reach Carmadin or Camwood. If I were you, I would stay from my side of the border with my mouth shut...

by **Svengarda** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:37 am

The SIA agent was as taken aback as Kirt was, but the gang leader reacted fastest and was out of the room like a shot, knocking over the first agent and pushing the other into a nearby shelf. The two shop-keepers scattered behind their counter as Kirt swivelled round and fired off two rounds in the agents directions. He didn't plan on killing the agents, but it gave enough time for Finn and Ransu to get out of the room.

"Go!" Kirt shouted as the other two left the room "Back to the house, get guns and ammo!" Kirt fired off another round, causing a box of cereal to explode where the agent's head had just been. The other two had left the shop and were sprinting down the now rain-stricken street.

Kirt had decided retreat was necessary, he could never defeat two highly-trained SIA agents. Under the cover of his last three bullets he left the shop and followed Finn and Ransu up the hill back towards the abandoned house. He couldn't spot the pair as he came onto the last street, but he heard the roar of the SIA car coming to chase him. Ahead of him the front door of their house opened and out came Finn and Ransu, armed to the teeth. He pushed past the, and into the main room, before turning up the stairs and going to their arsenal. He gathered up the remaining guns and found ways of holding them on his body. He held two handguns in his hand, and a sawn-off shotgun in his shoulder holster. He attached the three grenades to his belt and put the strap of the assault rifle around his back. He also donned the dark grey bullet proof vest before returning.

His took two steps at a time as he went back downstairs and he burst out the house to meet Finn and Ransu who were in the middle of the street.

"The SIA have got some IB* buddies here, and they're not here to mess around. There are at least 5 of them in two cars down by the car park. We've lost our car, they've slashed the tires and drained the engine. It appears we're gonna have to get back the Spit, or we're gonna die trying"

*International Bureau are the Military Police who deal with overseas incidents.

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