World Cup 64 RP Thread

by **Cassadaigua** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:18 pm

Qazox is a very familiar name,
by Brittany Lawton

Rivalries have come and gone. Throughout the sporting history of Cassadaigua, there have been many memorable moments but also some agonizing heartbreaks. When another nation is on the receiving end of both of those possibilities, a rivalry can be formed. Over the years, there have been great rivalries involving all of our sport teams. The World Cup has seen some great ones, with the Pink Cup nations coming to mind quickly on the soccer front. We have become very familiar with Jeruselem now, and have seen a legendary Cassadagan (Allison Salamida) even coach the Princesses at one time. Back in World Cup 46, when we surprisingly qualified for the World Cup as a relatively new nation, it was Jeruselem that we kept out of it. They have had stories of success over us as well, and the rivalry that exists between us now is a friendly one. Likewise for Dorian and Sonia, another Pink Cup nation, although we haven’t had quite the deep history with them. The Bear Belles of Bears Armed certainly come to mind, and it seems like whenever we played them early on, the game was never close. Either we were blowing them out, or they were blowing us out. Sorthern Northland was a good rivalry for a little while, but moreso us being annoyed with them after eliminating us at inopportune times, then anything that really went both ways. The World Cup rivalries are great, and am honored to have participated in some great historical matches that have involved the aforementioned teams.

But then, there are deeper rivals. Cassadaigua participates in many of the world’s biggest competitions. The World Baseball Classic, The World Cup of Hockey, The World Bowl, and the International Basketball Championships are the biggest that come to mind. Many other nations also do this, and these rivalries can become very exciting because it encompasses mutliple playing fields. In our old region, we had a great rivalry with Newmanistan and Secristan. A previous blog entry mentioned how things got started with Secristan, with all the fun actually beginning in Baptism of Fire 30. Then there was Newmanistan, a rivalry that was more competitive then out of any dislike. Tensions with the old Rockets were greatest in the World Baseball Classic, and we will always be remembered as the team that knocked Newmanistan out of playing baseball, for good. The regional rivalry with The Babbage Islands was always a little different. In teaming up with them to co-host World Cup 54, and many transfers that went back and forth, plus the famous marriage of figureheads Kirsten Hopkins and Chip Woods during the time we were winning World Cup 50 are very memorable indeed. We often came very close to a huge late-stage match against the Bumblebees, but it never really materialized as one of us was always “one win away” from such a game, but were knocked out by someone else. Another great rivalry we had was with Sarzonia. I don’t think a lot of people not affiliated with the two countries would have caught all the jabs made at each nation by the other over the course of time. But the Stars are gone, and for some, Sarzonia may have never even existed in the first place. But for us, they are a part of our history, one that saw clashes from baseball to softball to basketball and anywhere in between. It was Sarzonia that won the World Baseball Classic Championship the year that it was hosted in Cassadaigua. We could mention other nation names here, like Dancougar or Tarrentum, to show that not rivalries last forever.

This leads us to Qazox. Like us, Qazox is a nation that participates in many different tournaments, including all of the major sports. They boast an impressive resume of championships won across sports that almost rivals our own. (They have never won a World Cup). We have probably played in over 50 competitions, or maybe I’m even lowballing that number, across the sporting world, making them a nation in which you would think we would have a great rivalry with. It just isn’t there, not the same way, anyway. Sure, there was a semifinal meeting in the International Basketball Championships, and we’ve met in the World Cup at times before, but never in a late stage. They know us, we know them, but there isn’t that defining moment yet between our nations just because it seems like group draws or playoff brackets always tended see us playing others. Maybe, World Cup 64 will be that moment. Although Qazox is playing really well right now, destroying Bergnovinaia 7-2 most recently, who’s to say that the final group stage meeting of the season could mean qualifying or not qualifying for one of us. We are the underdog, even if some nations such as Gaveo still give us credit for everything we have done in the past and we thank them for that, and consider it an upset for their favor that they got a draw in a game against us. So we’re not really expected to qualify, but they are. Playing a bit of a spoiler there could be something that gets a rivalry going. With so many nations having come and gone, it’d be nice to see more meaningful games against Qazox down the road. Tomorrow is going to be a big day for us. If we were to win, the Group 16 table really tightens up at the top.

by **Maklohi Vai** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:36 pm

OOC: So I don't think I'll be doing conspiracy theories anymore. This new language thing seems to work.

A Hisdori z Siddurns*
di Porukano Lonarakai

Te siddurn dads dak do fe din z Alesader fe Jread z Nasdonia ad Jrees, ho has deen souun do uuear siddurns in nosaiks. Son Ronans uuor fen, aldeid nod in fasion, dud fei didn’d nak a resurjens undil fe Napoleonik period, hen fe sdil uuas nad popular di Jernan rejinends. Fis drd karrid ozer do fe neuu uuorld, ad nani Nesikan ad Ladin Anerikan rezoludionaris, inkludij Jos de San Nardin ad Sinon Dolizar, spordd son zersion z siddurns.

Fe jread Andros Durnsid uuas fe nosd fanus nan do spord fis uuild sdil, uuearij a kondinuus lin z hair fron fe dop z his head douun his jauudon do a nusdaj. Fe jeneral uuas uuidli knouun for fis hairdo, ad afder sezeral z his nen adopdd id ad spread id arud fe kundri, fe fasial sdil uuas nouu kald durnsids. Fis dern sdukk fruf nuj z fe nindeenf senduri, undil son idiod jod fe siladls uuroj ad said siddurns, feir nodern dai nan.

Fe siddurn jod nor esdrazajand do fe d z fe nindeenf senduri, ad had jrouun indo nuddon jops. Houuezer, fe drd uuas dispeld di fe uddreak z uuar, hij rekuuird jas nasks fad kuld onli de seald ozer klean sazen nen. Siddurns nad a reappearans douuards fe niddl z fe duuendif senduri, as rok ad rol pioneers spordd fe sdil. Nouuadais, siddurns ar nod konnonli seen, dud fei ar nod uuifud us eifer.

Fe kuuesdion dejs, houuezer, had ar “Neuu Siddurns”? Fis kuuesdion kan onli de ansuuerd di fos ho uuear fen, ad fei aren’d speakij. Neuu siddurns nai dak a nor fudurisdik zariadion, or fei nifd rezerd do fe olden dais of Zikdorian rul. Undil uue kan see fe fudur, uue nai nezer druli knouu houu neuu siddurns uuil dezelop.

*IC, Maklohi Vai existed in RL prior to 2012, when it made the dimension jump to NS. Ergo, RL terms and dates can be used from times prior to 2012, something that has already been established in my factbook.

Translation
A History of Sideburns
by Porukano Lonarakai

The sideburn dates back to the time of Alexander the Great of Macedonia and Greece, who has been shown to wear sideburns in mosaics. Some Romans wore them, albeit not in fashion, but they didn’t make a resurgence until the Napoleonic period, when the style was made popular by German regiments. This trend carried over to the new world, and many Mexican and Latin American revolutionaries, including Jose de San Martin and Simon Bolivar, sported some version of sideburns.

The great Ambrose Burnside was the most famous man to sport this wild style, wearing a continuous line of hair from the top of his head down his jawbone to a mustache. The general was widely known for this hairdo, and after several of his men adopted it and spread it around the country, the facial style was now called burnsides. This term stuck through much of the nineteenth century, until some idiot got the syllables wrong and said sideburns, their modern day name.

The sideburn got more extravagant to the end of the nineteenth century, and had grown into mutton chops. However, the trend was dispelled by the outbreak of war, which required gas masks that could only be sealed over clean shaven men. Sideburns made a reappearance towards the middle of the twentieth century, as rock and roll pioneers sported the style. Nowadays, sideburns are not commonly seen, but they are not without use either.

The question begs, however, what are “New Sideburns”? This question can only be answered by those who wear them, and they aren’t speaking. New sideburns may take a more futuristic variation, or they might revert to the olden days of Victorian rule. Until we can see the future, we may never truly know how new sideburns will develop.

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:52 pm

After Jeruselem lost to Basque Socialist States in Basque Socialist States ...

Katy: Oi, what happened Emily. I mean ... we should have won.
Emily: I don't know
Katy: What you mean you don't know, you were out there
Emily: We're all feeling a bit flat today
Katy: I'm not feeling flat
Emily: Funny, I don't understand

Katy: Maybe it was dinner.
Emily: Well, could be. How come you're not feeling weird.
Katy: I didn't eat that weird green stuff
Emily: But that was supposed to be good for us
Katy: Yeah, well I didn't eat it
Emily: I guess it was that weird green stuff

Katy: Dunno what type of vege it was
Emily: The damage is done
Katy: Someone told it was super spinach
Emily: I'm not eating that stuff again
Katy: Too much iron ems
Emily: Iron overload for sure

Katy: Still, we could have won
Emily: But you have to be at 100% to play well
Katy: Our girls in Jeru FC won again and are now 2nd
Emily: Doing well they are
Katy: Pity they get ignored
Emily: Yeah, they do a great job

Katy: But you'd never play for Jeru FC
Emily: No way, I've heard how little they get for their efforts
Katy: I guess they aren't a priority for money
Emily: Yep
Katy: Anyway, I was going some forgetten photos at home and found these
Emily: Oh

Katy: That's you right?
Emily: Yes, well ...
Katy: Well ...
Emily: Yes
Katy: You wanted to be nude model then huh?
Emily: That was when I was young and rebellious

Katy: Come on, you're pretty hot then
Emily: Those days are gone my friend
Katy: So what happened?
Emily: Dad didn't approve
Katy: My Dad wouldn't care
Emily: That's because you're like your Mum and he can't change her mind

Katy: I guess I can be called a nude model at the moment
Emily: And more
Katy: Hey, don't get too cranky with me. You know when I get cranky
Emily: Oh yes, I know all about that from your Mum.
Katy: Put these on the Internet?
Emily: No way!

by **Powersith** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:08 pm

Chapter 1: Rough Beginnings and Discovery

Chapter 2: Believe
Part 1: Proving Grounds
Part 1A: The Boy Who Exploded Overnight
Part 2: There Are Always Firsts
Part 3: Crisis Occurs
Part 4: More of the Same Result
Part 5: Fear of Losing Someone, and a Job.

Part 6: Permanently Solidified

The match was soon to begin. Everyone had put on their uniforms, the players walked on the field. The starters had walked to midfield for pre-game celebrations, while the substitutes, walked over to the bench. Gerry Sweeny again, smiled and winked at him. Taylor scowled at him. The crowd seemed to notice as well, and they started to yell in disappointment in seeing Sweeny start again. Monroe, Martinex, and de Phillips all looked it each other, and mouthed "This was a bad idea." The stadium commentator, said this, "It seems the home crowd doesn't like seeing Sweeny on the field instead of Mcawellmen." The crowd replied, "Of course, we don't like seeing him!." The crowd started chanting Taylor Mcawellmen. The manager looked at Taylor, "It's gonna be soon before you in."

Gerry Sweeny stood on the field in shock. The crowd quieted down, and the national anthem played. Of course everyone sang along. Then the game began. Already Gerry was struggling. He kept missing passes, committing turnovers, and more mistakes. The players started yelling at him, and so did the fans. Martinex walked up to him and said, "Get your head in the game, this is the big stage. What are you doing standing around. Make yourself useful." That demoralized Sweeny more, and he continued to struggle. The chants from the seats continued.

"Take Gerry out!"
"Sweeny sucks!"

Manager William looked at Taylor. "Take off your jacket, you're getting in."

After a foul in the 15th minute, a sign was held up. It had #13 going out, and #4 heading in. The crowd cheered. As the two passed by each other, Mcawellmen said "Told you so." and smiled at Gerry. Gerry said nothing.

The game continued, both teams missed scoring chances. At halftime the score was still 0-0.

Gerry walked over, "Yeah, you are totally useful." However, it was loud enough for the whole locker room to hear. Everyone came to Taylor's defense and telling Gerry that HE was the one who was useless. Gerry never spoke the rest of the game.

The game kept dragging on and on. The score was still kept at 0-0. Then the 88th minute came.

The ball was with Monroe, and all he had was Martinex in the middle and Mcawellmen on the right. It was just them on the offensive. Patrick Monroe was suddenly double teamed, and he passed the ball to his right. The ball went past Martinex, and it headed for Taylor. The ball was at his feet when time seemed to slow. He was running towards the goal, the goalkeeper was running to him. In a move to dodge the goalie, he juked to his left. The goalie missed Taylor. It was now him, versus the goal. He kicked towards the center. The ball sank comfortably in the net. The celebration had begun, the final whistle blew. Powersith won 1-0.

The team was in the press room for their interviews. Manager William Thomasson replied to a question saying this, "Taylor Mcawellmen will be our permanent starter from our next match on the road against The Sova Empire, till he retires." He responded to questions about Gerry Sweeny and his behavior, and said, "We are discussing disciplinary action towards him."

When the reporters asked Taylor about his new role as a starter. He replied this, "I am excited to be in this role, and I will do my best for Powersith to qualify for the Proper."

The Powersith National Team now headed to play against The Sova Empire. Powersith stood at 3-3-2, with 12 points in 4th place. They stood 5 points behind 3rd, and 6 behind 2nd. With ten matches left, It was anyone's game. It is a new era, a new chapter.
***
Thus ends Chapter 2 of the Taylor Mcawellmen story.
***

Statistics up to Matchday 9

Statistical Leaders
Goals: Patrick Monroe (9)
Saves: David de Phillips (20)
Assists: Leonardo Martinex (7)

Important Statistics
Goals: Robert Charles Vanor (1) Taylor Mcawellmen (2) Leonardo Martinex (1)
Assists: Taylor Mcawellmen (4) Patrick Monroe (1)

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:35 pm

How To Write A How To Write Book, by Vipin Lamin

1. Make it a pithy list.

Everybody loves pithy lists.

2. Recognize that your audience may have different levels of background knowledge. Don't overuse jargon.

If you're writing a "how to watch a football season" book, don't necessarily assume that everyone knows what an apertura is. Define it, in the appropriate context, as "first half of a season" or "odd-numbered season," or something. If you're worried that this will dumb it down for knowledgeable readers, put in footnotes to entertain them explaining how the root word is related to "aperture."

3. Include graphics, when helpful.

Too few can leave long technical descriptions opaque; too many look like a desperate excuse for padding. Below, do not find any figures or diagrams analyzing the statistical breakdown of goals in the Zwangzug versu Kinitaria game, because there weren't any.

4. Be committed to your cause.

A how-to book is a practical guide for your reader, not an exercise in navel-gazing or self-doubt.

5. Recognize that different people have different working styles.

For some, the most heroic approach to, let's say, football again is a spotlight-grabbing attacking spree. For, ahem, others, it relies on less instantaneous but, cumulatively, as-dramatic defensive sprees. Don't assume your readers have the same biases (nor that you should question any one of these approaches. See (4) above.)

6. Keep a consistent tone.

Whether it be theoretical or very applied, standoffish or personal, strive for consistency across your text.

7. Don't try and be exhaustive.

There's no need to cram in everything you know about a particular topic. Sometimes restraint is a virtue.

8. That being said, you do need to write enough to make it a book.

If it's too short, it just looks like a quick list, which is not a full book. Usually these lists will be numbered, but sometimes they can be offset with circles.

9. Arrange your topics in a coherent order.

Assuming your book is long enough to have chapters, put them in an order so that it can be read cover to cover at first (even if people go back to particularly important chapters later). This is not like football, where we can start #16 for #11 and Kinitaria can throw on #14 for #7 without much consequence.

10. Use those circles judiciously.

They might not print well. Seriously, what are they even called. "Bullet points"? Isn't that a little violent? I mean if you're writing for a Zwangzugian audience, your readers will have grown up in tiny first-generation cities settled by people pansying out of countries they didn't like. Or maybe those cities fell apart and got abandoned so your audience's ancestors moved to second-generation cities instead...the point is, let's maybe avoid bullets.

11. Have fun.

How you write the book will depend on the topic. Don't settle for a generic "top ten pieces of advice" list. If you're writing about football, why not go on to eleven, for the number of players on a team?

by **New Sideburn** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:42 pm

It had been two days since Maklohi Vai had handily beaten New Sideburn, bringing them to 4 wins and 4 losses in the group. But thoughts weren't on that match; the Cormorants had played well against technically superior opposition, and got a consolation late on from Alicia Scabbard. People were thinking instead on the Basques defeating Jeruselem. Pot 8, a team New Sideburn had defeated, vs. Pot 1, a team previously undefeated, and New Sideburn's final opponent. Surely, there had to be a way to defeat them...

The training session had a distinct focus on strength and power; it was a simple fact that they weren't going to outpace or out-technique their opponents. Four alterations had been made to focus on brutally mauling their opponents; Cathy Stokes and Maria Stout at left- and right-back, Chase Wingett started at right wing (Grant favoured his left too much, and his crosses were weaker as a result) and Tara Lockdown was to earn her first cap. Brute force and stalwart defence were to be the watchwords of the day. Ideal, realistic result, a 1-0 grind-out. New Sideburn knew they were capable of that.

Besides. They weren't even really fully out of the running for second, yet. Not if they could scrape a win or a draw.

Alicia Scabbard wasn't happy with this thinking. Too defensive. Not enough focus on the attack. But she had to admit it made sense for them not to get too cocky at this stage.

Home reception had been mixed as to their performance so far, though it was generally accepted they'd drawn a tough group and weren't doing too badly on the whole. They just needed to keep ahead of the Basques... and a good, solid draw or win would ensure that.

A bit of grit and hard graft would bear them through this... they just had to believe in themselves.

by **Saintland** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:45 pm

Saintland 4, Backyard Sports 0

(SP) The National Soccer Team for the Kingdom of Saintland visited Backyard Sports today and they came away with a dominant victory. Playing at the Playground Commons, a tiny "stadium" in the middle of a playground, the Sanctii were in control of the match from start to finish. As the little kids from Backyard Sports played a bizarre 2-5-3 formation, the Sanctii found that it was very easy to get scoring opportunities. "This was a bizarre team from a bizarre country. What kind of country sends a team of little kids to an international soccer tournament? What kind of National Team plays their home games in a playground? They have somehow won 2 games and drawn 3 so far, so we didn't take them lightly, even if it was difficult to respect the opposition. They actually played a bunch of girls in the midfield. Can't those foreigners just keep their young ladies off the pitch? When [Prince] Andreas came up to me and told me that I was starting today instead of Petrus [Mamilius], I knew this was going to be fun. Now, I can't wait to get back home. Our entire team is looking forward to playing Audioslavia and we would love to beat them at Royal Stadium." - Josephus Flaccus

Flaccus was a surprise starter for the Sanctii and the unexpected move paid off early. In the 5th minute, Josephus Flaccus sent a pass in the direction of Prince Andreas. The Prince easily beat out Billy Jean Robinson and Dante Robinson and sent it at the goal. Mikey Thomas guessed the wrong way and the ball was in the back of the net. Saintland led 1 to 0 on the goal by Prince Andreas. This goal was the 10th career international goal for the Sanctii captain and a harbinger of things to come on this day.

In the 11th minute, Luanne Lui passed to Pablo Sanchez. Sanchez found Vicki Kawaguchi and Kawaguchi took a shot at the goal. It was saved easily by Alessandro Seius, as you'd expect. It would soon become clear that Backyard Sports did not have a chance in this one. That would happen just a few minutes later. In the 20th minute, a long pass from Lucas Aufidius found its way to Prince Andreas. The Prince just ran by the defenders with ease, as he unleashed a shot at the goal. This time around, Thomas would get to it and knock it away for a corner. Prince Andreas took the corner and sent it in the direction of Nicolaus Poenius. Nicolaus headed it in the direction of the goal and it went in. Saintland had just taken a lead of 2 to nil.

In the 27th minute, Silvester Flaccus received a goal kick and moved the ball downfield for a while. He passed to Prince Andreas. The Prince sent a pass in the direction of Stephanus Vagionius, setting up a one-time shot. The one-timer from Vagionius was hit hard and low. Thomas could not get to it. Vagionius had scored and the Kingdom of Saintland now led 3 to nil.

In the 33rd minute, Matthaeus Belaeus made a defensive mistake. Reese Worthington took advantage of that mistake and got through on goal. Worthington's shot would be deflected out by Alessandro Seius for a corner, but it gave the Sanctii a scare. Pablo Sanchez went to take the corner and he sent it in the direction of Vicki Kawaguchi, but Kawaguchi's header would be saved by Seius. Backyard Sports would not be able to get a goal.

As the first half approached its conclusion, the Sanctii were up 3 goals to nil. Still, they pushed forward, trying for an additional goal. In the 40th minute, they would get that goal as Prince Andreas skillfully broke away from the defenders and took a shot at his 2nd goal. The Prince's first shot would hit the post and bounce around in front of the goal. Prince Andreas charged ahead and pushed the ball over the line for his 2nd goal of the match. Saintland went into the half up 4 goals to nil.

During halftime, Prince Andreas decided to go for a conservative approach in the 2nd half, just trying to run out the clock and conserve energy for the big match against Audioslavia. He decided to substitute for all 3 Flaccus brothers. Andreas Inventius came in for Josephus Flaccus. The Jucundius brothers also came in, as the Sanctii switched to a 7-1-1-1 formation. This, Prince Andreas hoped, would help preserve the lead.

The substitutions worked exactly as the captain of our Kingdom's National Team wanted. During the 2nd half, the Sanctii just dominated possession, passing the ball back and forth without seriously trying to score. Although Backyard Sports would obtain possession on a few occassions, they could not get through the Sanctii defense and did not have a serious goal scoring opportunity in the second half. The Sanctii would win by a score of 4 to nil. "This was exactly what I wanted when we traveled to play Backyard Sports. A few days ago, we were in the midst of a losing streak. I put my trust in God and rededicated myself and now we've won 3 matches in a row. With God, anything is possible. Tomorrow, we will play Audioslavia. I do not know if it is God's Will that we will be victorious, but I hope that God will deliver a victory to our Holy and Righteous Kingdom. We want to prove to the world that the Church of Saintland is the True Church of Iesus Christus and we want to prove that miracles can happen. Whether we do that or not is up to God to decide." - Prince Andreas

The Sanctii won their 5th match out of 8 played so far in World Cup qualification. Their next match will be held at Royal Stadium in St. Petrus against the defending World Cup Champions from Audioslavia. Currently, Krytenia leads Group 2 at 21 points. Kinitaria is in 2nd place at 18 points. Audioslavia is in 3rd with 17. The Sanctii are now in 4th place with 15 points, having jumped ahead of Soviet Canuckistan following their defeat at the hands of Krytenia. A win against Audioslavia would not only be a massive statement, but it would also catapult the Sanctii into serious contention to qualify for the World Cup. Following Audioslavia, the Sanctii will have a day off before they play the same 9 opponents over the following 9 days with the home team and the away team reversed. Saintland VS Audioslavia will be broadcast live on Royal One. It will also be rebroadcast on Royal Two in its entirety following the gridiron match between Saintland and Northton. The entire Kingdom of Saintland will be hoping and praying for an upset of massive proportions. We want to know if our team can hang with the best in the world and we will find out our answer tomorrow.

Following the victories over Kishrael and Queer Poco el Mono Ara, morale had greatly improved for the Sanctii. Everything was going right for the Kingdom of Saintland's National Soccer Team and they were finally playing at the level they knew they were capable of. Even Antonius Avidius had gotten into the act, helping his club team pull off a shocking upset against St. Paulus while the Sanctii were playing against Kishrael. Prince Andreas spoke to his team after the victory over Queer Poco el Mono Ara.

Prince Andreas - Today, we came away with the victory in the worst rain storm I've ever seen. That field was soaked. We struggled to keep our footing and we could not move like we normally can. But, all that matters is that we won. We put our trust in God and God has blessed us with victories. Now, we just need to stay focused. Tomorrow, we face Backyard Sports. Do not take them lightly. Although they are just a bunch of little kids, those little kids can play soccer. We need to prepare for them like they are a tough opponent so that we can beat them tomorrow. Don't get us caught looking ahead to the big showdown with the defending champions. We need to beat Backyard Sports first. Right now, Audioslavia can wait. Tomorrow, I have decided to give Petrus the day off. We're going with Josephus instead. Don't tell the media. I want to catch the Backyard kids off guard.

The Sanctii took their plane flight to Backyard Sports. They spent the flight chatting amongst themselves, as usual.

Josephus Flaccus - So, I actually get to start tomorrow? Its going to be fun playing against a bunch of kids.

Prince Andreas - Don't take those kids lightly, Josephus.

Josephus Flaccus - I'm not going to. Come on Andreas. Do you always have to be so serious about everything?

Prince Andreas - I'm a Prince of Saintland. We're raised from birth to always stay focused on the task at hand.

Silvester Flaccus - Little brother, you always think everything's a joke. We need to have fun out there, but the most important thing is that we win.

Paulus Flaccus - Absolutely. We aren't in this grueling tournament to finish in the middle of the pack.

Stephanus Vagionius - These are meaningful matches. We need to be in top form right now and fortunately we are.

Prince Andreas - Never forget that God has predetermined everything that will ever happen. We need to stay focused and put our trust in Him. Then, He will be with us.

Stephanus Vagionius - You're right, captain.

Alessandro Seius - I'm glad I recovered from that injury. Although Antonius did an excellent job against St. Paulus, I don't want to let our team down.

Prince Andreas - Don't worry, Alessandro. We just need to stay focused and we will prevail.

Alessandro Seius - Absolutely. Unlike those other 189 nations, we follow God's True Church, so He is on our side.

Prince Andreas - Amen.

As they traveled on the plane, this team had gelled and they now had a remarkable team chemistry. The following day, they arrived at the Playground Commons for their match against Backyard Sports.

Josephus Flaccus - They actually play their home games on a glorified playground?

Prince Andreas - Even I didn't believe that when I heard it, Josephus. I only believe it now that I see it with my own eyes.

Josephus Flaccus - What kind of backward place is this? In the Kingdom, we play even our youth sports in stadiums.

Prince Andreas - I know. Just stay focused and we'll beat them.

Josephus Flaccus - I will do that.

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello, I am Sister Maria Polus, High Inquisitor at Progress High School. Today, I join you to discuss the Saintland National Soccer Team. Recently, Prince Andreas has rededicated himself to the True Faith. Recently, non-Sunday Church attendance has been up 50% across our Kingdom. I see that many of you have wisely heeded my advice and turned closer to God. Because you have embraced God, God has embraced our Kingdom once again and He has blessed us with 3 consecutive victories on the soccer pitch. I told you that God would forgive our sins and heal our land if we would only repent and He has done so.

Tomorrow, our Kingdom's National Soccer Team will play Audioslavia at Royal Stadium in St. Petrus. I encourage everybody to go to their local Church tomorrow morning and pray to God that He will be with our Soccer Team tomorrow. I know for a fact that all of the students at my school will be attending the True Church tomorrow morning, even if they are foreign residents and I want them to repent of their sins and embrace God's True Church. Hopefully, at least a few of those Godless delinquents will do so.

But this is not why I am making this video today. I am making this video to discuss several of our opponents in Group 2 of qualification. First, there is Kishrael. Kishrael's National Team was defeated by the Saintland National Team by a score of 3 to nil. However, a popular web site in Kishrael actually published an article insulting the Kingdom of Saintland and claiming that there was "no excuse" for losing to our Kingdom's National Team. This is blatant disrespect for the Will of God by that wicked foreigner. I will just say that God does not appreciate it when people insult the one Holy and Righteous Kingdom in this sinful world. It is no wonder that Kishrael is virtually eliminated from contention already, as they have shown disrespect not just unto the Kingdom of Saintland, but also unto God. That is inexcusable.

I also want to talk about Audioslavia. As you probably know, Audioslavia won the 63rd World Cup. They are the defending World Champions. They are supposedly the best soccer team in the world. However, they are arrogant. They are overconfident. They have a foolish pride and they take for granted that they will qualify for the upcoming World Cup. Let me remind you that excessive pride is one of the seven most deadly sins. God takes pride in humbling the arrogant. I do not know whether God will use our Kingdom as His instrument to punish the arrogant Audioslavians, but I know that He will punish them.

Like the rest of you, I will be watching tomorrow as Prince Andreas leads the National Team against Audioslavia. I have elected to watch the match on television, but I encourage everybody listening to me to consider buying a ticket. We want Royal Stadium to be sold out. The True Church will be showing the match on television at the Cathedral in St. Petrus and I will be part of that crowd. Even if you can't get tickets, be sure to travel to St. Petrus. I have come to consider Prince Andreas and his teammates to be a team of pious and honorable young men who exemplify everything that is good about our Kingdom. I will be cheering the National Team on, along with the rest of our Kingdom. I am Sister Maria Polus and I thank you for watching.

Royal One - Postmatch Interview

Following Saintland's victory over Backyard Sports, Abraham Volusenus was in the studio in St. Petrus for the postmatch show.

Abraham Volusenus - Today, we have a special guest. She is an Olympic Gold Medalist in Figure Skating and the fiance of Georgius Catiotus. She is Martha Pudentilla.

Martha Pudentilla walked into the room and sat across from Abraham.

Abraham Volusenus - Martha, your fiance has been traveling the world as part of the National Soccer Team. What is this like for you?

Martha Pudentilla - I'm happy for Georgius and I hope he helps lead the National Team to the World Cup.

Abraham Volusenus - But, your wedding has been delayed repeatedly. Surely, you must be getting impatient by now.

Martha Pudentilla - Not at all. I'm happy I represented our Kingdom in City Centre and I'm happy that Georgius is representing our Kingdom in the World Cup.

Abraham Volusenus - I'm sure he's very happy to be your fiance. It sounds like you'll make a great wife.

Martha Pudentilla - Thank you for the complement, Abraham.

Abraham Volusenus - How well do you know the sport of soccer?

Martha Pudentilla - I know the basics, but soccer is not a sport for ladies, so I don't really need to understand all of the rules.

Abraham Volusenus - Some of those foreign women could learn from you. As you may have heard, there were rumors that Prince Andreas was distracted early on in this tournament. Are the rumors true?

Martha Pudentilla - I don't want to share that information. Yes, Georgius does tell me many things, but he has asked that I keep those things between us.

Abraham Volusenus - I apologize for the question.

Martha Pudentilla - No need to apologize, Abraham. You were just doing your job.

Abraham Volusenus - We have time for one more question. As you probably know, King Paulus XV has entered our Kingdom in the Beach Soccer and Swamp Soccer tournaments. Can you confirm for us if Georgius will be participating in those tournaments?

Martha Pudentilla - I can confirm that he will not be. He received a job offer recently and his new boss wants him to start immediately following the World Cup.

Abraham Volusenus - Interesting. I will not presume to ask what the nature of that job might be. That would be impolite of me. I want to thank Martha for speaking with Royal One and I want to ask just one thing of her.

Martha Pudentilla - What might that be?

Abraham Volusenus - I want you to wish Georgius the best of luck for me.

Martha Pudentilla - I will do that.

Abraham Volusenus - Thank you Martha. I am Abraham Volusenus and I will see you tomorrow after the match between our Kingdom's National Team and the defending World Cup champions from Audioslavia.

by **Jeru FC** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:09 pm

Princess Melody and Felicia Day with the new "nude" Jeru FC calendar ...

Princess: Well, what you think girls?
Felicia: Wow, we look really good. We look so young!
Princess: We did have retouch some of the photos ...
Felicia: Oh, that's OK. I look great.
Princess: Pity Pondy decided not be in it
Felicia: She's a very sexy girl herself

Princess: But nevermind, we got enough images
Felicia: Some of those photos are a bit ... too hardcore
Princess: Each girl decided how much hardcore they wanted
Felicia: I noticed you went all out
Princess: Oi, no point covering up my private bits.
Felicia: Everyone has seen them before anyway

Princess: Exactly
Felicia: I look good
Princess: We did have get rid of a few "scars"
Felicia: I wish I actually look like that
Princess: You did ... years ago
Felicia: I hope people buy it, we need the money

Princess: I reckon we could sell more if Pondy was in it
Felicia: Yeah, but I reckon people will buy it
Princess: Some complainted it's immoral but that's the usual suspects
Felicia: The calendar is mostly you know softcore
Princess: Well, not everyone is like me.
Felicia: I'm really proud I made the cover

Princess: Poor Carrie Buds didn't even feature
Felicia: Why
Princess: Mainly because she had trouble standing
Felicia: She could have been sitting down
Princess: But her broken leg is very evident, not sexy
Felicia: I suppose

Princess: I reckon we'll do well out of this
Felicia: We're a bunch of whores anyway so our reputation is maintained
Princess: It proves army women are sexy and not a bunch of gorillas
Felicia: But a lot of them are ...
Princess: Not you lot
Felicia: Our last 15 seconds of fame

by **Qazox** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:56 pm

Qazox after struggling to an 0-3-0 start has now ripped off 5 straight wins and now lead Group 16 on Goal Differential over Polar Islandstates. The near-sellout crowd at Qazian Memorial saw one of the most dominant performances by the Eagles in quite a while as they roared to a 7-2 win over Bergnovinaia. 6 first half goals for Qazox was more than enough to over come a pair of goals by the visitors in the 28th and 36th minutes. Remy Folk started the scoring skien in the 7th minute, heading home one of Qazox' 14 corner kicks to make it 1-0. Just 4 minutes later, Kevin McLaren slammed home the first of his 3 goals to make it 2-0. 2 more goals came in the 19th and 23rd minutes, the first of those two an own goal as a Bergnovinaian defender accidently headed one of Qazox' corners in, while the other was McLaren's 2nd goal of the day. After the visitors cut the lead down to 4-2, Florence Schumer and Erika Bastille traded goals in the 40th and 45+2 minutes to make it 6-2. McLaren concluded his hat-trick in the 70th minute.

Qazox now sets to conclude the first half of qualifying facing off against Cassadaigua.

STATS
Possession
BRG 42.6%
QZX 57.4%

Shots
BRG 10
QZX 31

On goal
BRG 6
QZX 18

Corners
BRG 5
QZX 14

Fouls
BRG 12
QZX 15

Cards: NONE
Attendence: 100,109
Referee: Amina Rahim (Free South Califas)

by **United Gordonopia** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:10 pm

"One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."
-Romans 14:5

"But that's precisely what you're not getting. The bible clearly says-"

"The bible says that we can't wear cloths with fabric blends and that if we screw a woman on her period we're going to be exiled. Plus, I guarantee that whatever verse you spout out I can find one that says the exact opposite. How many times do we have to go over this?"

Sam Albright seemed to be trying to get under Norm Bate's skin. He did that a lot.

Sam was Presbyterian, he had to be to be the Arbitrat, but the rural presbyteries, like the one Sam came from far in the North, always were top-down moralizers. Whatever the presbytery decided, the congregations were taught. Whatever they were taught, they tended to believe. Unfortunately for their image in the rest of Gordonopia, there were still a lot of reactionary ministers out in the boonies. Everything from homophobia to exorcisms were still alive and well in Gordonopia. You just had to go far outside the cities to find them.

The problem with Sam, and so many of his fellow rural-dwellers, was the difficulty separating personal convictions from wider ethical debates. While the Gordonopian Presbyterian Church was open for debate, its official doctrine was that such decisions on a personal and communal level should be determined through exploration of scriptures and life experiences, but that in the legal sphere they had no place. It was probably rare for an established church to be so liberal in its policies, but that was simply common Presbyterian theology.

Today, Sam's argument of choice was that the Republican holdouts were, in fact, going to heaven. It almost seemed to absurd.

"We need to keep going over it until you get it through your your thick head. As much as you don't like it, those men were Christians like you and I. God's chosen people. Predestined to go to heaven no matter their personal choices. There is no other explanation"

Of course. He was pulling that card.

"Predestination? You're going there again? Didn't we talk about this last week? We're not in Calvin's times any more; unconditional election simply makes no sense, either within scripture or in practical moral thought. When did the GPC give up that doctrine? The 1700s? If you're going to pull out verses on me, go back to Matthew 25. You have your answer there. If you're going to try to tell me that these holdouts helped the least by bombing their cities, attacking their embassies, and continuing a war for a decade after it should have ended, I don't know what bible you've been reading."

Sam seemed to be stuck, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to give in so easily.

"If you're going to blind yourself to the truth," he began, "then so be it. As much as we may hate these men, they were baptized in the name of our lord Jesus Christ, and by God's mercy they will go to the eternal kingdom. You must see it this way."

"Look," Norm replied, "That's all fine and good. I respect the fact that you've made this decision, but I just can't abide by it. If you want to live that way then fine. I have no idea what you're fighting for, but fine. My belief is that I can't force you to come to yours, and since its clear that our debate won't change either of our minds, then that's that."

Too many of their arguments ended like that. Thankfully, Sam wasn't in Archangel, so Norm only had to deal with his self-assured proselytizing on an irregular basis. Still, there were times Norm wished his version of Presbyterianism weren't so open to interpretation...

by **Ko-oren** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:11 am

Against the Democratic States of Fenbar, the Greenblues recorded their 71st victory overall in the official World Cup, Baptism of Fire and Cup of Harmony games. Seventyone may not seem like an important number, but there are different lucky numbers in Ko-oren, of course (don't worry, we still count in base 10). This means that 71 suddenly is more of a milestone than 70. With 68 victories at the start of the cycle, it was not really a question if we would get the 71st victory, but when we would. Some teams (I'm looking at you, teams in their first ever World Cup cycle) delayed the party a little bit, but finally, here we are.

Still, why would it take eight games to record three wins? It's all in the strategy. Training while looking at buses parked on the field, concentration training to not give away one or three points in the dying minutes, etcetera. While some teams think they can get far with passing around as much as possible, running forward (and losing the ball, conceding a counterattack obviously), more intelligent teams question the heroic approach. Although, playing an inexperienced but respectable team like Fenbar takes more than just intelligence (and cheating).

Who knew Tweed Day was so important to them? The eleven players came onto the field completely suited up, accordeons at the ready (but not playing them, thankfully. Their national anthem was still played by a regular orchestra). It was a sight to behold. But luckily, the 0-1 was the only defining moment of the match, bringing the team hopefully one step closer to the Cup of Harmony. Because you can't overtake three teams by draws alone. Tomorrow Jedi8246 awaits, and if the match will be anything like the Archregimancy and M7 matches, we expect a 1-1 draw.

by **Mapletish** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:11 am

Matchday Eight: Tobys Great Britain 0–1 Mapletish

Mapletish climbed their way up to the top of Group 12 after a narrow 1-0 win over Tobys Great Britain in the National Stadium.

Alero Junio opened the scoring with 20 minutes gone but the Lions failed to kick on against the British in a less-than-entertaining first half, that proved to be a good deal as the Lions bagged three points home.

And the below-par display continued after the break, with both sides failing to threaten the other, meaning Mapletish took full advantage of Gyatso-kai and Estope's high profile draw, whereas their opponents remain in deep trouble at the bottom, in search of a win after finishing eight matches.

After a sluggish opening 15 minutes that saw the Lions taking control of the ball but never attempt to venture far into the opposition's half, Ai Jing collected a fine ball from Junio before flashing a shot narrowly wide of the post in the first half-chance of the clash to the British's favour.

And the center half was again heavily involved as Mapletish got the breakthrough with 20 minutes played. Ai Jing expertly carried the ball up from the back, before finding Junio whose strike deflected off Straut Pearce and looped over Gordon Banks. Sir Alf Ramsey could only curse his luck at the sidelines.

Di Natile then dragged a shot wide, with Gosta and Junio sending long-range efforts into the keeper's arms, as Mapletish comfortably dominated possession but just failed to create any clear chances against a sluggish British side.

Jimmy Greaves went inches from an equalizer with a superb, curling left-footed effort from outside the Lions' box, in the hosts' first shot at goal, but the score remained 1-0 at the halftime whistle.

Britain started the second period as sluggish as usual and was unfortunate not to be awarded a penalty when Mei Kei shoved Steven Gerrard to the floor in the box.

The Lions sprung back into action with about an hour played as Ai JIng had a strike deflected wide and Gota and Taylor saw efforts rise over the bar.

Banks then palmed away a powerful Gosta free-kick as the slight pressure continued, but it only lasted for a matter of minutes before the match returned to its former uninspiring standard.

Britain offered little in attack as it searched for another late goal, and it was in fact the visitors who went closest to a second through a Junio pile-driver and a neat effort from Gosta in the last five minutes.

Ai Jing then also shot acrobatically over the bar very late on before the visitors held firm to grind out another win that puts them one point ahead of nearest rivals Gyatso-kai and two points ahead of Estope. It would be more of an embarrassment to Britain, as they lost to a female-dominated squad.

by **Sicoutimont** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:33 am

Election Heats Up With 3 1/2 Weeks Left In Election: SDU and Labour 'Virtually Tied'

Yup. Virtually Tied they are, but that's likely because of what they did this week. But there's another 'problem' with that. Vote-splitting. Let's say, in a riding in Riviere St-Denis, the SDU and Labour split the vote, and the Communists, Conservatives or Greens get enough votes to take the riding. That's very unlikely, as in this country, there are SDU strongholds, Labour strongholds, Communist strongholds, and then the battle is for one of the last 20-30 seats. Anyways, back to the campaign trail. Niles Coaches appeared at the Kent University campus in Val-Maurice. He met with the basketball team before their upcoming NCAA playoff match, and also went to speak to thousands of students from Kent's subjects, and also a few hundred elementary school kids that were bused in from around the city to hear Coaches speak: "The youth of Sicoutimont are the future.....we need to make sure that they can get into Universities and Colleges so that they can get higher quality education, and be able to work in the labour force....that's why the SDU are unveiling a plan for a tuition, which will be helped by the government depending on the student's grades. For example, if you achieve 89% in Math and want to go to University for something related to that, the government will pay a higher 'helping hand' than if you achieved a 56%." After unveiling his plan, Coaches spoke individually to the students and teachers, before retiring after the first week of his 2-week swing in Northern Sicoutimont. The Education Plan will attract young parents who don't think they can get their children into school, but they also have children who do well in school, encouraging these kids in high school to try their hardest. However, it will likely be very difficult for the government to pay without hurting the economy, and although it sounds good on the outside, it'll mostly be the parents of these kids tax money going into this program anyway. Charles-Jean Roberval went to south Sicoutimont this week, beginning the end of his campaign: he's scheduled for 2 weeks here, a week in Lac-Drouin and St-Simeon, and he'll be spending the last days of the campaign in ridings that don't look to be going his way before he returns to Ile Perrot for election day. He appeared at the MarketSuderner store and restaurant: "MarketSuderner is the example of a Sicoutian product, farmed by Sicoutians and worked on by Sicoutians. But we still need help from our friends: ships brought the tools needed from other nations, and we need to strengthen our ties with friendly nations, economically and through trade. We will also try to keep Sicoutians in the workforce, hiring Sicoutians first, and working to provide more jobs for Sicoutians." A short speech from Roberval this week, and he talked about giving jobs to Sicoutians, and how we needed our friends in trade. It was an okay speech, but Niles Coaches and Roberval could say they wanted to push people off cliffs and they'd get more votes than Louis Brebeur, who was in San Cristobal today: "San Cristobal is an important part of Sicoutimont, and a Communist government will see that the Comrades here will be there own province. Fishing is also a great source of economy here, and the Aspanola people, the biggest indigenous peoples of Sicoutimont, are our comrades, and will be given equal treatment as all Sicoutians in Sicoutimont, not the things previous government has done since the 2005 Revolution. Our government will provide more opportunities for Sicoutians on San Cristobal and Aspanola people, by bringing some industries to the islands. We will also give jobs to locals on the oil rigs planned to be built in the area." Louis got a head start on next week's all candidates debate: Sicoutian Affairs. San Cristobal is one of those affairs, as are the Aspanola people. The major industry centre of La Espanola on San Cristobal has recently opened up, getting a handball and baseball team. The local FC La Espanola attempt to qualify for the Sicoutian 2nd Division. Recently, calls on the island want to be made its on province, separate from St-Simeon province. If this occurs, it would be the 15th province of Sicoutimont. Here's the current polling results, taken from 3 separate polling agencies.

On June 25, How Likely Are You To Vote For The Following?
Social Democratic Union-46%
Labour Party of Sicoutimont-46%
Communist Party of Sicoutimont-5%
Other-3%

The Communists dropped, losing percentage in the polls which brings them closer to the Other parties, like the Conservatives and Greens. It is likely the Greens will get into the house, but not so likely for the Conservatives. The Communists are still guaranteed 10-20 seats, which could be important in the event of a minority government. Tune in next week for the final debate, on Sicoutian Affairs!

Other Top Stories
San Cristobal Leaders Continue Calls For Provincehood
Before the Break: Sizing Up World Cup 64
Gang Shooting in Val-Maurice Kills 3

Royales and Marills play to High-Scoring Royale Victory
At Union Stadium in Matthew City, Northern Sunrise Islands, no-one expected the final score of this game. It's the highest scoring game Sicoutimont have ever played. Luckily for Les Royales, it was a win. Girard Giroux began the scoring 19 minutes in, and Alex Gannot made it 2-0 for Les Royales in the 26th minute. But Northern Sunrise Islands struck back: Francisco de Sousa scored in the 31st minute, and again in the 37th to put the halftime score at 2-2. Justin Redwing scored for the NSI Marills early in the second half, making the score 3-2. Girard Giroux scored his second to tie the game, and Stan Sarault scored 12 minutes later to put Les Royales up 4-3. Neal Kent would make it 5-3, and that would remain the score until the 79th minute, where the Marills tried desperately to get within one. After being stopped by Pier-Luc Dion multiple times, Larissa Pereira pounced on a rebound in the 18 yard box, scoring to make the score 5-4. But a draw was not to be: Girard Giroux completed his hattrick In the 81st minute, putting the game away at 6-5. Let's look at the box score, brought to you by http://www.footybets.scm!

World Cup Qualifing MD 8
Sicoutimont vs Northern Sunrise Islands, @Union Stadium, Matthew City, Northern Sunrise Islands
Sicoutimont 6--------Northern Sunrise Islands 4
Giroux 19'             de Sousa 31'
Gannot 26'            de Sousa 37
Giroux 51'             Redwing 48'
Sarault 63'             Pereira 79'
Kent 69'
Giroux 81'

Sicoutimont's last game before the Mid-Qual break is against Kinzar, in that nation. Then it's 2 weeks off, before returning to the pitch in Lac-Drouin against Rikatan. Sicoutimont are currently 3rd in the standings, with 15 points, behind Yesopalitha with 16 and Jeruselem with 19. Les Royales take on Kinzar June 9, so be sure to tune into your TV or Radio to catch that game!

by **West Angola** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:46 am

Benguela, Temporary Portuguese Colonial Administration Center, 1894
Luke Parrish stepped off the train at the makeshift depot his men had constructed. The only station on this line was still controlled by Portugal, so for the time being they were disembarking troops onto a wooden platform with a shack behind it. To the north, Governor Blyr was deploying his men to envelop the Portuguese cavalry units camped outside the city in the night, as the hill they used would provide excellent ground for artillery. Blyr had kept him updated on their progress via telegraph all night, first sending a platoon of Arcani to kill their sentries, and then moving his men carefully around the camp. Named after a shadowy Roman order of assassins, the Arcani were Blyr’s pride and joy, although Sien had had little use for them. This had led into his downfall, as the group sided with Parliament against him, and played a key role in infiltrating his palace in Namibe and taking him hostage, ending the civil war prematurely.

Breaking into Parrish reverie came the faint sound of heavy gunfire to the north. Shouts from Benguela added to the din, and soon the Portuguese in the city began launching flares toward the fighting, trying to determine what was going on. Parrish knew Blyr had begun his surprise attack on the camp, which had the added benefit of drawing the city’s attention towards the north, giving Parrish time to finish his deployment. Since Portugal didn’t know about the jungle telegraph line, they had no idea that he and Blyr were coordinating, and therefore probably didn’t know that Parrish was even there. As the fighting escalated, Parrish moved his men into an line slowly stretching halfway around the fortress, linking up with the southern wing of Blyr’s forces. Two hours after the initial order, word filtered back down the line: the maneuver was complete, the city was surrounded, cut off. Parrish silently thanked God that the natives had been able to keep the troops marching in from the jungle from reaching the city, had they managed to reach Benguela and link up with the reinforcements from Europe, Parrish and Blyr would never have had a chance.

With a crushing finality, the gunfire to the north cut off, and the telegraph in Parrish’s tent began beeping madly, tapping out a message that his aide transcribed and handed to Parrish:

THE HEIGHTS HAVE BEEN SECURED STOP WE ARE BRINGING ARTILLERY INTO POSITION STOP RECOMMEND YOU NEXT DRAW CITY’S ATTENTION WITH ATTACK STOP END MESSAGE

Parrish read the message, then dictated the reply, “We will initiate immediately, stop. Onward to victory, stop, end message.” Parrish turned to Colonel Gravel, "Order an attack, send the 14th and 12th forward first, then ripple the assault down the line from left to right. Order the artillery to fire until we enter minimum range, we've got to hold their attention." Gravel saluted and headed off to telegram his division commanders. Parrish turned to look at the city, which was still lit by the fires of dying flares, soon it would be lit by another sort of fire...

by **Ossidiacqua** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:53 am

SO, YOU WANT TO FOLLOW LA RENAISSANCE ON TOUR?
A guide to international travel and the risks involved, produced by The Magisterium
All hail Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re

Chapter FIVE:
Electricity
Section THREE:
Appliances

THE DESTRUCT-O-SINK

What does it do?
Destroy. It takes things into its sink-like exterior and then shreds them up in an incredibly violent orgy of destruction and noise and then throws them down the drain. It does this for pretty much anything small enough to fit down the drain. So far, Magisterium tech-priests have been unable to find anything that it won't destroy in a series of controlled experiments that have been in equal parts dangerous terrifying, and shit-loads of fun.

Are they common?
We have no idea. From the outside they appear to look like any old sink, so it is difficult to ascertain just how many sinks are hiding within them the steel-y whirring blades of death. Tread carefully.

What should I do if I am offered one?
Assume you're being threatened with assault and/or take offence.

Are they a sign of wealth?
We will be able to answer this question only when we work out how common they are.

Can I learn how to use it?
The Magisterium advises strongly that Acquan nationals stay well away from electronic appliances whilst abroad. Particularly these ones. However, in all honesty, there is some evidence from the tech-priests that it is a simple machine to operate, simply placing items in its way is enough.

Will it hurt me?
Fuck yes.

by **Swyftlandre** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:21 am

Death Note II:
Chapter IV: The Second Death Note
(Found a bit of time on the Roadtrip to write this, now using the local Pub's Wi-Fi to publish this.)

Now would be the best time to take a step back and talk about Alexander Nørgaard, General Michael Hopkins and the Second of Three Death Notes to arrive in Swyftlandre. It's common knowledge, to those with the correct contacts that the Mr. York case contained direct correlations with the Death Note traced back as far as Finnbarr Lachlan. Even more confidential is the connection between the current Swyft-Inferior "Revival" and the Death Note.

A second case, which took place twenty years before the current case may incidentally be the cause of the break to the tension between Swyftlandre (and her partners) and the Commune. What is certain, as anyone with even a inch of knowledge of the great minds at work, leads back to the case of the Zodiac Murders. The perpetrator. General Michael Hopkins, at the time events unfolded, was the greatest weapon underneath the Swyft-Inferior Alliance and was strongly endorsed by Vice-Prime Minister of Thrilledge and Tactical Genius, Alexander Nørgaard.

Alex, as we'll call him for short, was perhaps the most influential person at the time in Thrilledge even though he practically acted behind the scenes at all times and Hopkins, a proud man who was most concerned with the claiming of the Commune and Chun-Nan in the name of peace. At this time, the name threat was not the Commune but rather Chun-Nan who were expanding their territory to nations with 'Third World' Arsenal's and large patches of abandoned land. Until this point, Nuclear Weaponry remained a horrible threat to any nations attempt to invade or occupy alike, especially for those in the Big Five, but Chun-Nan had established themselves in a position of retaliation rather than defense and had began to act upon this notion. An incredibly threatening position for the Swyft-Inferior Alliance.

Due to this, the Swyft-Inferior War Council was called to re-activity. Featuring the King (of Swyftlandre, Inferior and Inferior Minor), (Vice) Premiers/Prime Ministers, Generals and Ministers of War and International Affairs. In total, fifty people showed up. Mostly to take Preemptive Measures but also to see Alexander Nørgaard and General Hopkins new weapon that would "win the war". This weapon being, of course, the Death Note. Although revelations of a Shinigami (namely one called Sukè, who appeared in Mr. York's ramblings.) were made, this is largely irrelevant to the case. Despite the central-nature of these beings, being the one's who dropped these weapons in the first place, they are bound by several laws in their realm that stop them from being anything other than a spectator. Along these lines it must not be presumed that the Death Note was given directly to General Hopkins, but rather, given the nature of the Shinigami, was likely randomly dropped into Esportiva with the intent to cause Chaos. This is likely the case of today's Death Note, except likely dropped purposely into Thrilledge's Underground to ensure the length of the war.

Among plans to take defensive steps, an offensive step took place around the Death Note. A bold move that involved killing those who were regarded the highest status in Chun-Nan. The Council of Twelve, based around the Chun-Nanese Zodiac, these people were considered Holy by most. Threats were sent, based around assassination attempts with assassins controlled by the Death Note to send a message that 'agents may be on the inside' and to their extreme surprise, Chun-Nan backed down on the condition that the Council of Twelve be spared.

Predicably, Swyft-Inferior was overwhelmed by this. But this joy was to be short-lived, as General Hopkins, who some speculate may have already began to form a God-Complex with the absolute power to kill and had taken matters into his own hands. The Council of Twelve died the same night they agreed to form a Pact of no Aggression with Swyft-Inferior. While the Pact of no Aggression still stands between the nations (or rather did, predictably to allow the Commune to do the heavy lifting then ally with them). General Hopkins was placed under arrest for "disobeying orders" but resisted.

He was chased down for three hours, killing the King of Swyftlandre and the Premier's of Swyftlandre and Asadur and any killing any soldier or law enforcer who attempted to arrest him. Overall, he managed to kill a collective forty-three soldiers before being arrested and executed for the death of the King. Despite this, General Hopkins actions led to the abolition of the Monarchy, instead instating a system of Democracy. A clear positive for the future of Swyft-Inferior (if there ever is to be any), which may have stifled their image as Democratic.

As for Alexander, it is wholly safe to assume that he was in fact punished for endorsing General Hopkins and protecting, for a while, his actions. Downgraded from Vice President to Mayor of Blastings City, his hometown.

-Quick Study by the Library of Mayor Alexander

A Death Note in Sakhovelo:
Chapter I - Apox
Chapter II - Northern Sunrise Islands
Chapter III - Westfield House
Chapter IV - Asadur
Chapter V - Fight Fire with Fire
Chapter VI - Éanna Mårten
Chapter VII - Mr. York
Chapter VIII - Tate vs. York
Chapter IX - To Kill a Shinigami
Chapter X - Breaking News
Chapter XI - San Pablo
Chapter XII - Victory

Death Note II - The September Rebellion
Chapter I - Divided Esportiva
Bonus Chapter - Python Wing
Chapter II - Alliance
Chapter III - Long Live Swyftlandre
Chapter IV - The Second Death Note
Chapter V - Succession

by **Polar Islandstates** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:42 am

"Madame President, Madame President!"

"...imperative that you- what is it Agnetha?" sniffed President Iversen-Eklund, interrupted in mid-flow as she spoke with Trade and Commerce Secretary Per Lundgren, "I asked not to be disturbed, did I not?"

"Yes, Madame President," stammered her PA, "just, that, well, you've got the Defence Secretary on line one. He says it's urgent."

"Well, tell him to hold, then." replied the President, turning back to Lundgren and opening her mouth to speak when she was interrupted yet again.

"He says it's a level five priority." said Agnetha, meekly.

"Fine, fine," said the President, throwing her hands up in despair as she got up to walk to her desk and pick up the phone, "excuse me, Per. Yes? What do you want, Diedrich?"

Per and Agnetha exchanged a look of concern as they saw the colour drain from the President's face.

"What? When?... How long ago, specifically?... And how are they reacting?... Well, where were they at the time?... San Vega? What in Thor's name were they doing there? That's just off the top of KATS, isn't it?..."

She sat down,holding the phone close to her ear.

"Exploded?!" she exclaimed.

"So I'm told," squawked the voice on the other end of the line, "my sources tell me several boats in the area heard the explosion. Neither of the planes have landed yet, but so far as I'm aware neither were armed."

"Well, then what's the problem?" asked the President, sensing a way out.

"The planes were converted from arms-carrying models; there's no way you'd be able to tell at sight moving that speed which model they were. The Sargossans can twist this if they want to."

"There's no chance of a rogue on our side?"

"..."

"Diedrich."

"We can't rule it out." said the Defence Secretary tiredly, before hurriedly adding, "Yet."

"Well, see to it that you do so. And quickly. We need to get to the bottom of this." said the President with authority, her mind whirring, "What about satellites?"

"Half an hour, Madame President. Then we'll see how things are as things stand. We believe the Southern Sun got away cleanly as we are in full contact with her again. However, we are receiving intelligence that the Sargossan navy is on the move."

"They could have bloody well spoken to me about it first if they had a problem..." trailed off Iversen-Eklund, sensing that something was definitely afoot, "where are you now?"

"Me? I'm on the FN Aasiaat with Admiral Harstad."

"Right, get back to the Red Rooms, I'm catching a flight to Aasiaat as soon as I can. How soon can the flagship fleet get out of there?"

"Admiral Harstad says by the end of the day, but we've got task forces in St Paul, Sisimut, and Islay at the moment. Well, Islay is just a couple of frigates with patrol and combat boats."

"Okay, okay, well," said the President, thinking on her feet, "scramble the Islay task force, let's get them to Agheim as soon as possible. Put the Sisimut and St Paul groups on standby and get Harstad and the FN Aasiaat fleet going by tonight at the latest. If the Sargossans are planning some kind of intervention in KATS we'll need to move quickly."

"Understood, Madame President. I will co-ordinate operations from the Red Rooms, and Admiral Harstad has the Admiralty Bridge on the FN Aasiaat, of course."

"Okay, Diedrich, speak to you soon."

"Madame President."

Hanging up with a brisk click, Iversen-Eklund looked up at Per and Agnetha, her hair wild and her eyes looking into the middle distance as that famous mind of hers got going. Caught on the back foot by the Sargossans. That was never going to look good, but the time to react was five minutes ago, and she had to act quickly.

"Per?"

"Madame President."

"Return to your ministry. Keep going for now, but keep this as dark as possible. We don't want leaks right now."

"Of course, Madame President."

"Agnetha?"

"Madame President?" replied the PA, dutifully.

"Get me Mika Stoll on the phone, pronto."

"He's on holiday, Madame President."

"Well, hail him and get him back to Soluca, he's our Ambassador to Sargossa and we need him. All government leave is cancelled."

"Yes, Madame Presid-..."

"No, wait," interrupted the President, "scratch that. If he's not in Sargossa then that might be a blessing. Get him to Agheim."

"Yes Madame President." nodded Agnetha, moving to follow Per out of the room.

"Oh, Agnetha, wait," said the President again, "send a message to the Sargossan government immediately."

"Okay." nodded Agnetha, turning to leave before realising she needed more information, "Wait, saying what?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the President waving her hand in a circle, realising she hadn't thought that far ahead, "how about; 'Dear President Emparán, What the fuck?!'"

Meanwhile, in a dusky wooden fishing hut on the outskirts of the largely Sargossan-friendly and strategically significant Külmsaari town of Natalis, a red telephone rang. Local politician Marius Eduardo had connections, lots of them. Not all of them were Polarian, and not all of them were Sargossan, but almost all of them were known to the political community. Except this one. Even Marius hadn't met this one. A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend had lead to a phone number being exchanged in the right direction, and they had shared information in the past. His contact was the only one to ever make contact, Marius didn't have a line out on the red phone. This, however, was the first time it had rung in several months.

"Hello?" said Marius, answering the phone with trepidation.

"It's me, Trident." said the deep accented voice, brusquely. "Stranglehold is go. You know what to do."

And before Marius could say another word, the phoneline went dead with a click. Replacing the handset, he went to his bookshelf and picked up a little black book, hidden below several weighty tomes of nautical law. He looked up the term, Stranglehold. He smiled, and looked at the little silver trident on the handset of the telephone. It reflected his eyes in the darkness. Things were about to get interesting.

by **Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:47 am

The Seven Minute Challenge:
Every now and again, I get the urge to write a stupid story. To introduce my team, each of them will have a story about their back-stories based around the 'suggestions posted by Wight'. The other regulation, I will set myself 7 Minutes to write the story. Although extra time will be added to finish a sentence/paragraph to the point where it makes sense.

Characters: (Number Generated by Random.org) 1
Nate Cowan [MALE]

Nate certainly had been a lonely child, day and night he'd been bullied and abused by Parents and "Friends" alike. But maybe it was this position, to try and stop the harassment that created the man he is today. Nate Cowan was born on the Island of Cosodor, which as referenced in the current stories by Swyftlandre, was the site of a devastating Nuclear Explosion. He is the only known survivor of the Cosodor Disaster and certainly came out the other side 'adnormal'.

His face was disfigured, six extra feet grew out in places they really shouldn't have (But we won't go into that, eh). His left eye had not only lifted half an inch up the face but also turned red. Nate claims he can see up to five miles with this eye, as well as lock onto an object and chase it. While plenty of activists have argued against his being in the World Cup due to his disfigured body and extreme abilities that handicap his enemies (did we mention he had his right eye replaced with a laser), the W.C.C. have enabled his existence of the team, stating,
"Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne are a crap team, let's give em' a small chance."
They then went on to compare him to the nations of other 'species' including Swyftlandre's Mecha Team, Equestrian States Pony Team and the team of living sewage owned by um...you just watch, they'll exist eventually.

by **Vilita and Turori** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:21 am

For Years they've Battled the World. Now they Battle Each Other.

The Curse of the Vilitan League Cup's

It is quite fitting that the Vilita Jungle Cats and Turori Eels only start a true, on field rivalry, at this time - some 50 World Cup's after stepping on the field against the rest of the World for the first time. Up until this point, thats what they had been doing. Living in their own little worlds, looking across at each other, trying to make sure they did better than the other, but never applying it on the field.

Its fitting, because, with the exception of a brief rivalry between Cednia Beach and Arcticala Inlet/Strike FC exchanging a couple of Vilitan League :: Stellar Division Titles, the story in Vilita & Turori domestic football has been quite the same.

Despite minimal success in the Stellar Division, Turorian teams had been completely shut out in Domestic Cup Competitions.

The Vilitan Cup - the Competition where all the registered teams from both countries compete for greatness - nothing. Marine Coast United - Vilita. Tivali City - Vilita. Eastal Lunar - Vilita. The Yeaddin Owls, Strike FC, Arcticala Inlet. All these teams were winning Vilitan Cup titles. None of them from Turori.

The Story was the same in the Tropical Trophy. Of course, without winning the Vilitan Cup made it hard to even get into the Tropical Trophy, but Cednia Beach did. 3 Times. And Lost them all. For 35 Seasons no Turorian team other than Cednia Beach had even made it to the Vilitan Cup Final or the Tropical Trophy.

Four appearances, four defeats for Cednia Beach in the Vilitan Cup Final. Three appearances, three defeats for Cednia Beach in the Tropical Trophy. It was a running expectation that, much like facing Audioslavia in a World Cup Final - Facing a Turorian team in a domestic Cup final was a guaranteed victory.

Then, things changed. Audioslavia won a World Cup and Mliona-Lpaka of Turori won the Tropical Trophy.

In a match officiated by Turori's own Tuaoko Vumaou, Stellar Division runners-up Mliona Lppaka squared off against Vilita's defending League, Cup and UICA Champions Cup champions, the Turoki Tide. It all happened in the opening minutes, and Turorian domestic fate was changed forever.

Just 3 minutes into the match, Vilitan National Team midfielder Rexii Tzikas lit up the Tivali Ring Stadium with a stunning 30 yard strike to give the Tide the 1-0 lead. The Turorian's were not going down so quickly however, JD Fuller equalized 5 minutes later and Ceri Sabilli put Mliona-Lpaka in an early position to claim the first major silverware in club history and the opportunity to bring the Tropical Trophy back to Turori for the first time in the long history of the competition.

Turori National Goalkeeper Hooizo Nuakoi did all he could to keep the Tide in the match but the offense didn't help at all and referee Vumaou blew the final whistle bringing the Tropical Trophy to his native Turori for the first time in history in the arms of Mliona-Lpaka and their Vilitan captain Jawz Tiiaupila.

For Nuakoi, it was a proud, and disappointing event - losing the Tropical Trophy for his club side but national pride in the curse finally being lifted.

Mliona-Lpaka wouldn't stop there either, squaring off against Makosile in the Vilitan Cup Final. The match went into extra time level at a goal a piece and Vilita's Jawz Tiiaupila was called upon once again to change the fate for his Turorian foes.

As extra time came to a close, the goalkeepers prepared for the dreaded shootout and the lineup cards were presented to the officiating crew.

Makosile were chosen to go first and Cediici Tzatzos wasted no time with his shot putting the Makos up 1-0 in the shootout. Manolis Kontalroma was qual to the task for Mliona-Lpaka leveling the score after one kicker for each team. Cristoh Nrubari for Makosile and Farf striker Ichi Tuzzio for Mliona-Lpaka did the same to bring the shootout tally to 2-2.

After a tense 120 minutes, it seemed the goals would never stop in the shootout until Makosiles 4th attempt from Viltan defender Kadi Molali was blocked by Tiiaupila who clutched the ball to his chest. The Cup was there for Mliona-Lpaka to claim and it was Jawz Tiiaupila, the Vilitan goalkeeper, who brought the cup home to Turori saving Tyaoina Munviola's effort to the delight of an entire Island nation.

The Turorian's had finally won each of the major domestic prizes in the Vilitan League, and could now consider themselves true rivals and competitors for their Vilitan counterparts at all levels.

Except of course, in the World Cup. That true rivalry would be created just shortly after Mliona-Lpaka's cup victory, when Vilita & Turori were drawn to face off against each other in qualifying for World Cup 64.

...to be continued...

Vilita v. Turori ::
1: An Overview
2: Cednia Beach Fly the Flag
3: Domestic Rivalries
4: World Cup Titles
5: Domestic Cups

by **Barunia** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:01 am

BNN SPORTS REPORT - World Cup Qualifiers
Leading goalscorers after eight games:
Victor Castolo 9
Horatio Montoya 2
Fabrice Sagoro 2
Pablo Zokora 2
Cedric St. John 1

GAME EIGHT
Joric Ruskin
Joric walked through the woods, his senses on high alert. This was not a game of football, where a lack of concentration would cost you nothing more than an award. This was war, where a single lapse could cost you your life. Behind any tree, or around any corner, could be a Republican soldier. The platoon were somewhere in the middle of West Barunia. Disputed territory. Not unlike the midfield of a football match, with Marion at one end the Federation goal, and Porthaven on the other side the Republican goal. Joric realised suddenly that the game against the republic of Egpty had started. It was the first Suns game he'd ever missed hearing or viewing live. But that could not be helped. Still, he wondered how the team were doing.

Victor Castolo
The Suns were doing well. By the end of the first half the score was two-nil, courtesy of Victor. The first had come after Victor had dribbled the ball past his mark and found himself with plenty of space and no-one between him and the goalkeeper. As the man ran out, Castolo chipped the ball over his head and in.
The second goal was very different. Although he wouldn't tell the others, he hadn't even intended to shoot. It had been intended as an early cross, a high shot from the edge of the area into the box where Zokora was waiting. technically he'd been inaccurate, as the pass had gone too far to the left and crossed the line. But the line had been between the posts, and Victor found himself celebrating an unexpected second goal and his ninth for the tournament.

Early in the second half, Victor found himself with an opportunity to take his tally to double figures. A shot at the top corner was denied by the Egpty keeper, who punched it over the crossbar. It was a good save, but it mattered little as Montoya headed it in from the corner kick. A few minutes later, Egpty would get their revenge when they won a corner and Tobias Forrest could not stop the subsequent header from going into the net.

As the game reached the seventy minute mark, things got interesting. Victor had another shot which was stopped by a brilliant aerial save by the Egpty keeper. He then sent the ball flying upfield with a powerful kick. As Castolo headed back downfield, their was suddenly a commotion at the Barunian goal. His mind was racing as he hurried over. Had Egpty scored again? No, they weren't celebrating. There's an Egpty player on the floor, surely it's not a penalty? It looks like it is. Lucio is remonstrating with the referee, it looks like he did it. What's the referee doing? A red card? Shit.

Stephen Wiggens
"Shit!" Yelled Stephen, unaware that he was echoing the thoughts of Victor. he had good cause to swear too, as the Egpty penalty taker beat Forrest to narrow the margin to just one goal. With twenty minutes left to play and an extra man. He pulled Bhara back to defence; play a 3-3-3 formation. They could not afford to lose here, and Wiggens would not be satisfied with a tie. Stephen had just learnt that, unlike the Baptism of Fire, only the first ranked team in the group would automatically qualify. With Taeshan occupying that spot and not having posted a loss, Barunia's hopes of making it to the World Cup proper were looking shakier than Wiggens had thought. Their best bet was to try for the top three of the runners-up, otherwise they'd have to take the risky road of a play-off for one of the remaining spots.

They needed to win, and keep on winning. The Republic of Egpty and the Sova Empire were at the bottom of the group, and while wins against them were important in keeping the Barunians in second place, that position would truly be tested when they faced third-place Hutt River next week. And Wiggens would have to do it without two of his best defenders. No-one had heard hide nor hair of Ruskin since the first game, and now David would be out on suspension. That left him with the option of Clinton or Lopez to fill the missing spot in the defence. One was lacking experience, the other was out of form.

Wiggens was momentarily distracted when the Suns were given a corner in the seventy-ninth minute. Sagoro sent it in, and after bouncing around the penalty box for a while, the ball found it's way into the goal, propelled there by the foot of Cedric St. John. Four-two, and as the clock ticked down to a Suns victory, Wiggens went back to his planning. The win was great, but he had to think one game ahead. The Suns would need all the time they had to prepare for their encounter with Hutt River. Their World Cup chances could depend on it.

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:02 am

From Shabeen Ahmad III's blog:

World Cup Qualifying Preview
(OOC: Shut up, it's not late.)

Welcome back to my widely followed (I wish) World Cup blogs, and we're now onto the 64th edition of one the most prestigious competitions in world sport. As per the usual, when I have time I'll be posting a post-match review/commentary of each and every match of this qualifying on this blog, so keep logging if you're that entertained by what useless dribble I tend to write.

Anyways, this cycle will see the Eastfield Lodge national team attempt to qualify for the finals for the 16th time now (no, we have not qualified for the finals 15 times, do you live in a cave or something). Last time out, the team finished a disappointing 5th, even if nobody expected them to qualify, but we were the fourth seeds; and on top of that, we were joint third at the halfway stage, joint with Armed Bears on 17 points, and to only get 10 points from the last 9 games was pretty bad. And then to top off our misery, we went and garnered a measly 2 points in the Cup of Harmony, with draws to Ossidiacqua and Sandwich Territories, sending us out bottom of the group.

Still, that was the past, so we move on. But past had come to bite us, as we're now ranked 81st, only 4 places up from before qualifying last time around. Which means that we're still the fourth seed, and there are still 10 teams in each group, but only 19 groups (seriously, this'll be one annoying second place chase). If you didn't watch the draw, I don't blame you, there were better things to watch on TV at the time. If you did, then tough, I'm putting my analysis into the draw. We got drawn into Group 11, which looks like the following:

Nova Torshavnia: Ranked 195, they were one of the title contenders at this cycle's Baptism of Fire, after a perfect group stage of 5 wins, but they were knocked out in the quarter-finals by eventual third placers Nekoni. They look like they've quickly taken to international football, but this will be a step up for them in terms of quality. We're home MD7, with the away match on MD16, and with any luck, it'll be a double win.

Saugeais: Ranked 34, here we have the group's second seeds. They're a team that really should be at the top table and playing in the finals themselves, which they haven't done of late. 3rd in World Cup 63 qualifying, they played well in the Cup of Harmony, going out in the quarter-finals to Jeru FC. Playing away on MD8 and then home on MD17, we're not expecting much from those matches, not any points whatsoever.

The united kingdoms of zackalantis: Ranked 214th, they're another world cup debutee, and another team that participated in the Baptism of Fire. Unbeaten in their group with 13 points, they came second on goal difference, but went out in the round of 16 to a certain Nova Torshavnia. They will be the ones to close out our qualifying cycle with an away match on MD18, which we should win as well as that home match against them on MD9.

The Sylvanaes Queendom: Ranked 14th. Top seeds, and World Cup champions from a bygone age (well, World Cup 53 is bygone, isn't it?), they'll be looking to comfortably take the top spot and keep it from the likes of Saugeais, and then looking to march on far into the finals themselves. The elves won a title, and then three world cups previously, came close to winning their second title (well, if you count 7-1 loss to Valanora in the final as close). And we get the honour of taking them on in the first match, and away as well. We'll comfortably lose both that match and the home MD9 match, but some results are just too obvious to deny.

Antoletia: Ranked 60th and third seeds. I don't think Antoletia and Saugeais are close enough to each other for Antoletia to fight for second, but I could be wrong. Yes, they are closer to us than they are to Saugeais, and I think we could catch them, but it'd be difficult, and we couldn't mess up. Last time around, they finished 3rd with 34 points, so if they show that sort of form this time, we probably won't reach. MD2 at home will be a draw, and I think the same for the away match on MD10.

Earo: At 110th, this team is started out relatively recently it seems and have done well (albeit slowly), with 4 points (from 16 games) in WC61 qualis, 15 from 14 games in WC62 qualis and last time out a decent 6th place finish with 23 points. However, I don't see them getting much higher in terms of points this time around, but they will still be a threat to our ambitions. MD3 away and MD12 home, I hope

Eastfield Lodge: Ranked 81st...Hang on, did you really think I'd be stupid enough to ask whether we'd be good enough to beat ourselves? I mean if you want a summary of our endeavours last time, look up the page.

Camerania: At 321st, we should beat them. I mean seriously, 6 points back in World Cup 61 qualifying, and done nothing since then. MD5 at home, MD14 away, easy double win.

Kalumba: Rankings wise, the worst team in the group, at unranked. Probably are the worst as well. But of all the unranked teams, they might be one of the better ones, as they did used to play in this. They won Baptism of Fire 43, and went to almost reach the playoffs in World Cup 59, missing them by a single point (they had a point advantage with a game to go). MD6 away then MD15 at home, and we should win both.

Westros: Our real enemies in this group, at 96th in the rankings. They are the threat to the fourth place that we must defend. If we take into account points from the last qualifying session, we would be on top, with 27 as opposed to 24. But take World Cup 62, and we'd both be on 17. So MD4 away and MD13 at home are both must win, but they'll both be draws.

I really can't be bothered to do the maths, or other predictions for that matter, so I'm signing off now, bye.

by **Antoletia** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:23 am

"7 goals?"

"Yes."

"Seven?"

"Yeah."

"As in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven?"

"I'm aware, I can count."

"But seven?"

"We get it, we let in seven."

"That's 3.5 goals per the two goalies played."

"Well Adolf had a bad first half, then went off with a knock. Danny wasn't ready to get insert into the game like that."

"But still it was 2-2 at the half."

"Yeah, but what the hell? are backup keeper is so bad, why couldn't they put in the third string?"

"You mean Martin Anghelescu?"

"Yeah."

"He's 18, hes played like 2 professional level matches, he is not ready."

"But 5 goals in a half, he couldn't have done worse than that."

"That is true."

"Jeez if it wasn't for the shit keeping, we would have had a nice away tie and still be in the group."

"Yeah."

"Well, one more first half match, than round 2. Payback."

"Can't wait."

"Saugeais and Sylvanaes Queendom at home, shit will be flung."

"Quite literally."

Goalscorers
Hiarchratez - 4
Filip Constantinescu - 3
Raphael - 2
Clyde Dickens - 1
Gabriel Mohammed - 1
Preya Pavelski - 1
Stefan Sala - 1
Gheorghe von Leeweonheouck - 1

by **Taeshan** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:34 am

And boom goes the dynamite. Win number 7 in 8 matches and the Purple Knights are that much closer to being in their 8th world cup. A 1-0 win at Nekoni set the backdrop for their 20th, 21st and 22nd points of the season. With great football play from the defense, a controlling midfield, and a hot pair of strikers the Knights are on fire. Well to be precise, they are on pace to be as good as the season before. Now the 8th qualification seems just a trivial affair. With one more match against Lalo Limahina the Knights are not even close to roughing it as they look homeward bound. (if anyone gets that slight pun +1) With the team from Lalo Limahina recently defeating Karditan in a shocking 3-2 affair the Knights now sit first for points ahead of the still surprising young team from Barunia, 5 ahead of third Hutt River. With Powersith 10 behind and Karditan and Lalo Limahina a surprising 11 back. This lead all but assures anything but a terrible collapse will see them through.

In what proved to be a delightful affair in Nekoni the hosts were gracious in losing the hard fought battle. The Knights scored early on in the afternoon when Ender Wiggin tallied his seventh with a nice kick from just beyond the penalty spot. The Knights thus parked the bus, which unlike most teams meant they held the ball and did little but hold it for the rest of the event. They managed to hold Nekoni to two shots all game, with none coming anywhere near the goal. With a full 3 points won late subs included two defenders Eddie Styles and Grant Wetter, with striker Kyle Laravy coming on late to get Ender out of the pressing danger that can be the late minutes of the game. Now the Knights head home to face what could be a very interesting and tense 90 minutes with the men from Lalo Limahina.

Goalscorers
Ender Wiggin - 7
Brian Ibrahim - 2
Seth Clapton - 1
Tyler Icicle - 1
Gwyn Juniper - 1
Xavier Ptolemy - 1

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:35 am

Apox 1–0 The Inevitable Syndicate
Apox: Maarsden 55'
Apox were always going to be a problem for the Syndicate, and this was truly a game to remember, as the intense battle really showed Apox that we're a worthy opponent. The defence was really on point, and everyone played a fantastic part in clearing the ball and attempting to make a way up the pitch. There were a few times when we really thought Pratt was going to make it, only to be cut down by the Apoxian defence. Likewise, Maarsden also made many attempts for our goal, but they were often cleared out or intercepted. Except a brilliant goal in the second half, in which Maarsden received a great cross that went right past Archer's hands, and gave Apox the 1-0 crutch that they needed to eventually secure victory against us. This loss drops us to fourth, remaining at thirteen points. There's still half of the qualifying to go, however, so our favours could change, for better or worse...

Chapter i. Negotiations
Chapter ii. Raiders of a Lost Art
Chapter iii. Some Assembly Required
Chapter iv. The Syndicatian Intelligence Agency
Chapter v. Hidden in Plane Sight
Chapter vi. Cramming & Planning
Chapter vii. Pharaohs and Prophecies
Chapter viii. From Fligsive With Love

An Inconceivable Truth
A Story of Syndicatian Climate Change

Chapter ix. Casino Generale

That evening, everything was planned. The Chief of Police had managed to make his way across the country on short notice, presumably by lying and stealing transport, and was walking towards the Casino Del Poco Muerte. Thomas Burke had managed to commandeer control of the secuity camera, being Agent 9¾’s eyes for the evening.

“Right Agent, he’s headed for the door. I’ve spoken to the Casino, and we’ve given him 500,000 Dinars to gamble with. I’d appreciate it if you won all of them back before you do the job. Or not, we can just take them and cash them in anyway.”

“I’ll do whatever is necessary. Also, you know I’m the one that gave him the Dinars? This mission is completely off record - I have unfinished business with this bloke. If you say a word to anyone, we’ll both be fired. Understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Daniel.” Thomas wished he hadn’t had gotten into this now.

Almasi stepped into the casino, and was greeted by the staff. The rather lavish surroundings acted as the perfect cover for the agent, who was at a roulette table, waiting for Almasi to enter his big game. Agent 9¾ was still unsure on how he was going to assassinate the man, but he was sure he’d think of something.

Almasi took his chips, and sat down on the big money table, surrounded by other rich people that Burke had also sent e-mails to, so as not to give the game away. Agent 9¾ also sat at the table, eyeing up the opposition. It shouldn’t be too hard to win a few games of poker, he thought, as his first hand was dealt. A pair of kings. He placed his bet.

The game continued, and people joined and left, until a rather unique woman joined them at the table. What’s worse is she seemed to be cleaning up! Agent 9¾ did his best to stay in, and managed to persuade the players to take a break in the game. He went to the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom, he found another man, staring him right in the eyes. He looked Audioslavian, from what Daniel could tell. He approached Agent 9¾ with a grin.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?!” Mr. Daniel said, quizzically.

“No, but if you’re an agent worth your salt, you should!” said the Audioslavian, as he raised his fist to strike.

Quick to react, Agent 9¾ blocked the first punch, and sent out one of his own. The Audioslavian toppled back into a urinal, and got the back of his suit covered in water. This water dripped onto the floor, and as Daniel went for another punch, he slipped, and kicked the enemy agent inbetween the thighs. The man let out a cry of “Son of a Krytie!” and kicked Agent 9¾, who stumbled back up, using a sink as support. He turned the taps on, and sprayed water in the Audioslavians face, blinding him for a brief moment. In this moment, the Syndicatian Agent grabbed him by the collar, took him to a toilet stall, and held his head above the water.

“Who do you work for, guy?” said Agent 9¾, struggling to keep a hold on this also rather suave agent.

“Audioslavian Intelligence, you fool! I’ve been sent here because you were! I don’t know what you’re after, but I’ve been keeping tabs on you all day!”

“You must be holding something from me... Let’s see if we can’t flush it out!”

The enemy agents head span as he gurgled and spluttered in the toilet water. “I know nothing more, I promise! I’ve just been told to report any activity back home!”

“Ugh, fine.” The Syndicatian Agent said. He didn’t have time for this. Releasing his grip from the Audioslavian’s collar, he reached up to the ledge he’d hidden his silenced pistol. Grabbing it, he tucked it into his waistband and left the toilets.

Upon leaving, he noticed the woman from earlier at the bar. Agent 9¾ didn’t want to risk attracting attention, so he sat in one of the alcoves, scanning for his target.

“Burke, I need you to tell me where Almasi is...”

“Oho, now you need me! I could have told you who the man you beat up in the toilets was ages ago! He’s been eyeing you all night! Also, everything you did was all on camera, but I deleted it. Anyway, Almasi is currently enjoying the view of the casino from up on the second floor. Get up there and finished the job!”

Agent 9¾ made his way up the stairs, passing many people who he thought of as suspicious. he sat in an another alcove, by a pile of boxes, hidden by the low-lit room. Almasi was sat at a bench, talking with various men and women. Lying about how great he is, probably. Well, that’ll be his last thoughts...

The Syndicatian Agent pulled the trigger. The bullet sped out of the gun, and across the casino, like a lightning bolt. A bolt of justice, so the agent believed, as it sunk into the back of the Ahlenfi Chief of Police's head. Shortly after, screams were heard as the man flopped forward to the ground. Daniel knew he had to get out of there as quickly as possible, so he did what any respected agent would do - in the cacophony he’d just created, he climbed in a box, broke a window, and dropped down to the grounds of the Ahlenfi streets below.

by **Slembana** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:38 am

Slembanan team update

We have four games to update you on in this update. We won the first game, lost the second and third, and drew the fourth. Three of these games were against teams ranked lower than us.

The first game we have in this update was a 4-2 win away to Rodard, who were ranked 337th in the KPB rankings. The game was played during the zombie infestation of the entire NationStates universe. Rodard, despite their low ranking, took the lead in the 13th minute, when their star striker curled a fantastic shot past our goalkeeper, Kevin Banks. However, in the 32nd minute, we equalised, when Follin Maxet drove past the Rodardian goalkeeper to make it 1-1. However, in the 43rd minute, Rodard took the lead, when their playmaker intercepted an awful backpass from Hank Bowles to give our hosts a 2-1 lead just before half-time. The fact that Rodard had scored just before half-time stunned us. We needed to recover in the second half.

We equalised just after half-time. Our scorer was our attacking midfielder, Jyvx Dagens, who curled home one of his trademark free-kicks. This goal came in the 47th minute of the game. Thirteen minutes later, we went 3-2 up, with Val Kylx, our star striker, heading home a cross from Yuppë Tárnix. And, in the 85th minute, substitute Joe Baxter rounded off the scoring, slotting home to make the final score 4-2 to us. Our win put us in 2nd place in qualifying Group 10.

Our next game was away to Shadowbourne. Shadownourne, despite being ranked 167th, were top of the group, with 10 points. The game would have been easy for us if Shadowbourne had not been top, but the fact that they were made it a tough task for us. Despite the pressure, we were dominant. We had the best chance of the game, with Toby Valfox seeing a rising shot palmed over the crossbar by Bournean goalkeeper Jos Kamanarov. However, in the last minute, Shadowbourne's star striker and captain - Andrew Wirahadi - gave his team a 1-0 win, chipping over Banks to score. The loss saw us drop down to 4th place in the group.

Our next game was at home to Thatius. This game was our fourth encounter with the Thatians. We lost 2-0. Thatius' first goal was scored in the 22nd minute by Marcel Asarenko. The midfielder banged home a curling volley, leaving Banks stranded. Thatius scored their second goal in the 77th minute, when striker Cooper Branham jinked inside our captain, Don Adobe, before slotting under Banks. This loss saw us slip down to an embarrassing 7th place in the group.

We played minnows SingapuROAR in our next game. As SingapuROAR were ranked joint-295th in the world, we were expecting a healthy win. However, we only managed an embarrassing 0-0 draw. We were dominant during the match, missing loads of chances. The closest we came to scoring was when a header from Val Kylx was headed off the line by Daniel Bennett. This was in the 56th minute. SingapuROAR's best chance - which was in the 75th minute - was when their striker, Shahril Ishak (who is also their captain), saw a curling effort palmed away excellently by Banks. When the final whistle was blown, our fans booed our players off the pitch.

Endangered Species of Slembana - Part One - The Green Asché

Introduction
The Green Asché is a green, 3m long animal that is most famous for running at speeds of up to 70 mph. This makes it one of the fastest land animals on the planet. It is threatened by poaching and habitat loss.

Description
The Green Asché has a somewhat diamond-shaped body. It has four short legs to help it run, and a rather short tail. Its head is shaped like a semicircle. The animal's body is green. It has sharp teeth to kill its prey. It measures 3 m (9.8 ft) long, and weighs 500 kg (1102 lbs).

Distribution and habitat
The Green Asché is endemic to Slembana. This means that it is found only in Slembana. Its range has been greatly reduced, and it is now found only in patches of northern Slembana. Its natural habitat is mangrove forests, rainforests, swamps, and savanna.

Diet
The Green Asché is carnivorous. It feeds on lizards, birds, mammals, and fish. It kills its prey with a suffocating bite to the neck, which crushes the spinal cord, and paralyses the animal. It usually has to bend its neck down to eat its prey, as its legs are too short to pick up food with. The Green Asché has been seen to eat animals as large as a rhinoceros. When none of its usual prey can be found, the Green Asché will eat carrion, worms, and insects. It will even sometimes feed on members of its own species.

Predators
Thanks to its speed and rather large size, the Green Asché has rather few natural predators. Cheetahs - which are almost as fast as Green Aschés - have been known to eat the young of Green Aschés. Lions and Wivol Monsters are other predators of the Green Asché. Tigers have also been known to take Green Aschés as prey. However, Fellochis pose the biggest natural threat. The Fellochi can also travel at 70 mph, and its teeth are sharp. The Fellochi is said to eat every animal it sees.

Conservation
The Green Asché is a rare creature. It is currently listed as "Endangered" by the Multiversal Association for the Conservation of Wildlife (MACW). Its population numbers just 4,000 animals as of 2022, with an increasing trend. The animal and its habitat received full protection in 2017. This stopped the decrease in population. The animal is found in some zoos. However, it does poorly in zoos, as it does not usually have a large space to run around in.

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