World Cup 64 RP Thread

by **The Sova Empire** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:17 pm

"Bring me some good news, Tom"

All government officials and athletes had been evacuated from The Sova Empire. The survival rate sat at a abysmal .26 %. 572 million were dead, and 193 million were still infected. Only 1 million Sovans were still healthy. Greg Sova, still leader of TSE needed something good to happen, and fast.

"'Fraid I don't have any. The World Cup team lost 4-0, and the Baptism of Iron team lost as well."

Greg was not known for his great strength, but he grew so angry that the coffee cup in his hands shattered.

"I'm sitting in an undisclosed area because 99.74% of my population is either dead or undead, my World Cup team is 0-1-4, my Baptism of Iron team is 0-3, and....and....."

"And then there's the Paradystopian Chess Fan Club?"

"And then there's the Paradystopian Chess Fan Club." Greg buried his face in his hands. A group of people followed a Paradystopian chess player and were arrested for attempting to cause violence. Just when Greg thought it couldn't get worse, a telegram came in.

"This is the Emergency Medical Hologram. I am sorry to report that your High-School girlfriend is dead."

Greg gave it a quizzical look. "I never had a high-school girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend!"

"The sad part is that I'm your identical twin and I actually did have one. Surprised you didn't remember." Tom stated bluntly

"Shut up Tom. It was a suppressed memory, one I'm trying to forget. Oh well, even if I did have a girlfriend, she'd probably have been dead already."

"Agreed"

by **Mytannion** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:19 pm

"I'm glad to be of help Ms. Kalinina, we help our friends, us Samebans," Said Gen. Marek Stopis of the Sameban military, over a week, 400,000 Sameban soldiers had been poured into Mytannion, helping to combat the pesky rebels that called themselves the Mytanar Befreiungsarmee. 100,000 had been immediately transported to the north of the country, stationed in a fairly central location in the industrial city of Ibon. The news reports by AP hadn't helped the operation though, as they seemingly had so much knowledge about events that the world was told near enough everything.

That meant the rebels knew too.

The rebels knew of troop movements, knew of how many were arriving and even had some knowledge of the tactical assault that was being planned on the rebel-controlled port of Snezhnaya. They simply knew too much, whilst the government forces knew literally nothing of this group that were causing them so much trouble.

The tactics the rebels employed were nothing short of some of the best guerrilla tactics Stopis had ever seen, they used the icy, snowy north of the country to their advantage, with the people knowing exactly what to expect of the conditions. They also worked well in urban areas too, with a good support base in the population which they were slightly dependent on for intelligence and supplies - but this didn't make it any easier to eliminate them - nobody was willing to tell the authorities who they were and even when there was an attack, nobody could be caught as the perpetrators immediately dispersed and blended back into the population.

They didn't look like soldiers.

They were just so difficult to beat, guerrilla fighters, and the Befreiungsarmee were no different. They were always able to choose the time and place to strike and they always possessed the tactical initiative and the element of surprise. Only once had the government been able to preempt an attack. In downtown Snezhnaya, the police had worked tirelessly for weeks to gain information on an MB cell working in the area and they had secured a lead which suggested there would be a raid on a police-controlled tower block. The police had hidden, waiting in the area and had struck, killing one member of the cell, Isaiah Teshkhanev and therefore gaining immediate information on the rest of the cell.

Elita Ryzaev had been Teshkhanev's girlfriend when he had been alive. She would be vital in bringing down the MB working Snezhnaya, if only Stopis could find a way of finding her.

He had been given free rein by the Mytanar Premier, the attractive Natella Kalinina, but this wasn't his war and honestly he wasn't really that bothered about the fate of the government here. His own government was and that was really the only convincing reason for him to take part in this conflict, he would try to oust the rebels and keep a Sameban sympathetic government in power. Who knows? Kalinina and her nation could come in handy against the stupid Eurans one day.

Stopis had sent one of his best men to investigate Teshkhanev's relations, he had come back with some good news for once - telling him of how Ryzaev had been the dead man's girlfriend and this immediately opened doors. If they could secure Ryzaev's mother and sister, they could easily get her to come out of hiding and could gain some extremely useful information on the rest of the cell.

Finding her would be the problem. She was elusive. Even after one of the police officers in downtown Snezhnaya had gunned her down, shooting her in the leg, preventing her from escaping of her own accord, she managed to get away. The rest of the cell had worked efficiently, blowing a few police officers straight up and injuring a few others. Then fiercely defending their comrade, firing relentlessly, preventing the police from even getting near Elita Ryzaev, even with riot shields, it was too much.

They had quickly surrounded her and got her out of the situation, securing the tower block as reinforcements arrived in the form of several other cells from around the port town. The fighting was fierce and the police were quickly outnumbered as people who seemed to be civilians that had been going about their daily business minutes before began to ambush them and join in on the side of the Befreiungsarmee. It was most unnerving that the rebels who had wrought so much damage in cities across Mytannion seemed to have so much public support from all sorts of people.

They seemed to have a supply chain that worked incredibly as well, through the backwoods of the north, in the areas that hadn't yet been urbanised. That seemed to be the way they had got the materials for improvised explosive devices into the major cities - as the towns and settlements along major roads and supply routes had checkpoints at regular intervals.

There had to be another way of them getting supplies into major cities and Stopis had to be part of the solution to stopping it.

He had to send Sameban forces north to prevent this and he had done in the previous weeks. The Sameban forces had pushed the rebels back, out of Vysoki and Cassia - the latter had been used as more of a propaganda victory, with the numbers of rebels exaggerated. There were very few rebels actually operating in Cassia, it was a small city that had very little value to the rebels. It was industrialised, but it was not weapons rich, it was not in a particularly strong position in terms of strategy and it had very little worth to them.

The government had celebrated it as if they had won the whole battle against the rebels, as if the conflict had been ended completely. They had said they had won a 'major battle' in the town, when, in reality, all they had done was capture a couple of members of an exceedingly small cell.

Sure, the victory in Vysoki had been key and had restricted the MB to operating out of the far north of the nation in theory - even though many knew that this really didn't stop the rebels from operating in the south. They had their supply lines through the inaccessible areas and this hurt the army, every time forces were moved there was an ambush. The heavily forested areas that were on both sides of the autobahns were perfect to launch ambushes, with the trees offering protection and camouflage.

The rebels had been pushed back, but they seemed unaffected. It was most worrying for Stopis. He was risking his troop's lives in a war that at this moment seemed nearly unwinnable.

"What do you see as our next plan of attack, General Stopis?" Asked Kalinina, as Stopis had been deep in thought.

He thought for a moment, considering the question, then answered. "We need to continue as we're doing, if we put more troops into the north of the country we can push them back and hopefully restrict them to working out of Ebor and Snezhnaya." He scratched his chin, "We need to think about stopping them from ambushing us too, we need to find a way of working in the forested areas around Vysoki and then we need to find a way to cope with the tundra."

"Why? Can we not just eliminate the threat there?"

Kalinina evidently wasn't the expert military commander many had made out, Stopis wondered how she had come to power, had she really been suited to the job. How had she launched a military coup with out having basic military knowledge such as this. It was a fairly simple answer.

"Well, our troops aren't necessarily used to fighting in the tundra. The rebels have an advantage, their guerrilla tactics mean they have the element of surprise at all times, they also can choose where to fight their battles. They know the terrain better up there and we need to find a way to deal with that."

Kalinina sighed. Stopis had heard of her remarkable coldness towards people, but it was at times unnatural.

"Do you believe we can win in this conflict, Stopis?"

"Yes. Of course."

"I can sense you're lying."

This was uncanny, Stopis had heard of this too. Her remarkable ability to sense when she was being lied to, being deceived. He shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know what her response would be, but he knew she was brutal, but surely she wouldn't transfer that onto a foreigner. Someone who was in the country to help her regime? He couldn't be sure. He had to talk his way out of this situation, it was too dangerous for him. He felt the holster on his chest as he rubbed that area, disguising the reassurance of himself with the innocent motion.

"Honestly. We can win this conflict, I fully believe that. However, it will be difficult unless we plan correctly. At the moment, we have forced the rebels north, we have pushed them back - but total elimination will be nearly impossible. We need to hurt them in a large way, that means negating their supply network and capturing commanders. It could be difficult, but it is doable."

"I see. I suggest you see to it. You have the same power as the Minister of Defence and the Military command, you can do as you see fit. Your homeland has sent you here to help, I suggest you see to it." She repeated the last section with venom, holding his gaze and almost piercing through him with the stare.

Stopis felt uncomfortable. Why was he here?

by **Swyftlandre** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:27 pm

Meanwhile...

"Sir, for where is heading?" Private Wu Liang attempted as he walked into the office, trying his best to make out English words.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" General Graham returned
"For where is heading?"
"Ugh, you mean where are we heading. We-"
"Non, for where is heading?"
"Um, what?"
"For where is heading?"
"SHON NI WON WANG WOOP!" Graham replied jokingly though a hint of irritation in his voice.
"What you say about my Mother!"
"No...No...No, that's not what I mean-" What did I say?
"I kill yuu" Wu Liang drew out a gun and held it at Graham's head. Graham replied with a quick sigh, then grabbed the barrel of the gun.
"Don't bother..."
"No, yuu insou-insult Wu famiry!" Wu Liang shouted, pulling it free. He took aim towards Graham's head and shot.
"Just like Chun-Nan, second-grade everything..." Graham lifted up the Corkscrew that hit him, then sighed again, "It's a good thing you're a first class pilot."
"For where is heading?"
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
"F-F-Thank you, Genrel Gayham!" With that Wu Liang saluted then walked out of the Captain's Office. Graham stared in disbelief, then muttered to himself, "W-What?"

The cargo ship tore across international waters, towards the wartorn state of THRILLEDGE. Explosions and the faint smell of Blood filled the air, leading to a rather depressing and haunting feeling that the war was already lost.
"Well, I-I guess we don't have to waste our lives...it's not as if anyone will notice." Graham laughed to himself then walked to the Head Sailor's room and took the wheel, steering the ship away from the lost nation, instead turning North-West setting due course to the Polar Islandstates.

"General Graham! Where are you headed?" The Head Sailor cried at Graham
"Um...Orders from above, we're setting sail for The Polar Islandstates..."
"Sir, you know that anyone outgoing ships from Esportiva will be treated as hostile by Rushmore...is this wise?"
"I dunno, nothing's been cleared..."
"This is Madness! We-"
"No, Jamie! THIS...IS...THE...S.S....ETEEEEERNITY!" Graham let out the battle cry and he landed a kick right into the Head Sailor's bollocks, as he whimpered in pain, Graham turned back,
"Um, too far?"
"Yes...Sir..."

Within forty minutes, the ship had reached the border. Buoy's stretched into the horizon in every direction past the border, each mounted with fast-firing Plasma Cannon. The intercom was breached and through it, a automated voice let out,
"Turn back now, we will not tolerate any Esportivan activity in Rushmore. You have two minutes."
The voice cut out and Graham ran on deck,
"QUICK!!! DEFENSE PATTERN ALPHA!"

The deck exploded with activity and within seconds the flag had been replaced for that of Rushmore. The Buoys recognized this, then powered down.
"It worked...I can't believe it worked! HA, THOSE STUPID MACHINES, THEY FELL FOR IT!!!"
"False Flag flown...THOSE STUPID MACHINES, THEY FELL FOR IT!!!...now firing..." The turrets let out in unison.
"Oh for freaks sake!" Graham coughed, then shouted at the top of his voice, "RAISE THE SHIELDS, PYTHON SQUAD!!! TO THE STORAGE HULL!"

He ran to the Red Crate which contained the six Battle-Mech's, in front of him stood the members of the Python Wing. The brutal and debatably Medieval Black Knight of Cobram Keep, Darrell White; The Ex-Factory worker turned Mechanic (who failed Basic English 101 every year since his birth) Wu Liang; the mad scientist Michael Sheppard whose works included the Milk Bomb and Dog with Three Tails™, Tim Tom Timothy who had been appointed for his name alone and the not at all special Royce Brousseau.

They crawled into their mech's, each of them sprouting some kind of flight mechanism. The roof flew off as they took off, then they took flight over the buoys, watching as the ship was hit by multiple Plasma Bolts. The sailors and soldiers aboard ran for the few lifeboats available as the "Greek Fire" spread by the Plasma Bolts spread quickly across the ship. The Plasma Cannons turned their attention to the Mech's, ignoring the survivors.
"QUICK, ACTIVATE THE COMBAT SHIELDS!" Graham cried across the intercom, given that they were the only current flight-enabled models in Esportiva it was unlikely that they'd be shot down, "TURN BACK, THEN RETURN AND RENDEZVOUS ON ELEPHANT ISLAND OF THE POLAR ISLANDSTATES, THEY SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO STRIKE US DOWN IF WE MAKE A SURPRISE ARRIVAL!"
"YES SIR!" They all replied. The Mech's followed this tactic and managed to make a successful escape, with the exception of Tim Tom Timothy, whose wing was clipped by a Plasma Bolt. He fell into the ocean as his Mech was ripped apart by the Bolt's.
"TWIM!!!" Wu Liang cried over the intercom
"FORGET ABOUT HIM, THERE'S NO WAY HE SURVIVED THAT ASSAULT! JUST STICK WITH THE ATTACK!" Graham replied though pained.
"WAT YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER..."
"Not again..." He sighed and cut off the Intercom

After three hours, they had all arrived on the uninhabited Elephant Island. After they had checked for damages and chatted, they once again set off for Mio-Sal, the current capital. Upon arrival they entered a highly impressive building, lined with trophies and photographs. They walked through and stormed the central room, all wielding guns.
"You the Owner of this place!?!" Graham shouted at the Man at the desk
"Y-Y-Yes? Who...who...who are you?" The Man replied back
"We're agents from the Swyft-Minore Alliance." The Man's eyes widened
"Swi-Swi-Swyftlandre, you mean from Esportiva?! What do you want!!! I'm afraid we can't help you!"
"Oh, I was hoping this was the NSWC Headquarters. I was hoping our team could take part..."
"Wait!" Royce protested, "This is what this is about..."
"Royce, is it better to die a hero or run-away a coward?!" Graham replied in a carefree voice, "Wait, that sounded better in my head. Just play along, we'll fight some other day. Or would you rather we shot you for disobeying orders!"
"Sir! This...This is against the Code of War, every able-bodied man must and will fight or face execution..." He grabbed Graham and held his gun to his head.
"Wu Liang! Shoot this traitor!" Graham shouted, Wu Liang lifted his gun and shot Royce. Who retracted quickly, dropping his gun as the bullet hit him in the head. Graham picked it up as Royce recovered.
"Ow...you still use that cheap thing..."
"NOW! YOU WILL ALL OBEY MY RULES, WE PLAY FOOTBALL! OR DO I HAVE TO SHOOT YOU!" His men all reluctantly nodded, except for Wu Liang who had began licking an Ice Sculpture of Simone Di Bradini. Graham turned away from this in dismay then pointed his gun back at the NSWC President's head,
"So can we?"
"I'm sorry sir, but all parti-participating nations need a Stadium."
"We'll borrow Elephant Island, I'm sure they won't mind"
"Y-You can't...they won't let you"
"WATCH US!!!"
"Fine! Just please, drop the gun..."
"Thank you, we'll be back in a few days when we own the Island."

They walked out of the room, thus creating forming the National Football Team of the Swyft-Inferiore Alliance.

A Death Note in Sakhovelo:
Chapter I - Apox
Chapter II - Northern Sunrise Islands
Chapter III - Westfield House
Chapter IV - Asadur
Chapter V - Fight Fire with Fire
Chapter VI - Éanna Mårten
Chapter VII - Mr. York
Chapter VIII - Tate vs. York
Chapter IX - To Kill a Shinigami
Chapter X - Breaking News
Chapter XI - San Pablo
Chapter XII - Victory

Death Note II - The September Rebellion
Chapter I - Divided Esportiva
Bonus Chapter - Python Wing

by **New Sideburn** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:31 pm

Jack 'Be Nimble' Parkour was not enjoying his stay in Nenets. For one, it was fucking cold, and besides that the occasional reports of 'shamblers' that had occasionally filtered through to New Sideburn appeared to be true. Which was why in addition to the traditional greatcoat worn by smugglers everywhere, he carried a sawn-off shotgun, three daggers and a grenade.
He also wore a South Laithland AFC scarf, because it was bloody cold.
Making certain his thugs had the gear, he went down to the agreed-upon meeting place, sure to walk softly and carry his big gun.

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:31 pm

Sometimes you create your own hollywood scripts. Othertimes, you're the fall-guy in someone else's. Israel Klimt had, as Audioslavia's national team manager, written a fair few real-world epics in recent years. Now it was his turn to watch his side lose out to the plucky underdogs, a downtrodden team gaining a famous win over their rivals.

Audioslavia hadn't lost a football match for over three years. The 'thousand-day streak' as some called it. In between an away defeat to Polar Islandstates in qualifying for the preceding World Cup, through the end of qualifying, the finals and the AOCAF Cup, Audioslavia had gone entirely undefeated, doing the world/regional double and, in short, becoming 'the' team to beat.

Krytenia, on the other hand, were going through their worst spell for maybe a century. The side had failed to qualify for the last two tournaments and did not even participate in the most recent CoH or Copa Rushmori. The news that the Krytenian 'Aces' had been drawn into the same qualifying group as world champs Audioslavia had been met with a due sense of dread by the public, who had marked the date of the Claret/Cyan game on their calendar as a day to stay in bed with the sheets over their heads.

Television viewing figures suggested that they had, nevertheless, managed to tune into the game in their millions.

They had been greeted with a depressingly predictable scoreline at first. Audioslavia's fourth minute goal had seemed to indicate the start of a horrific night for Krytenian football, another defeat against an old enemy. The nations had only played each other twice, and both of those games were a long time ago. For years it was the only source of bragging rights between the two teams: Audioslavia 1-0 Krytenia at World Cup 26, and Krytenia 2-3 Audioslavia (AET) in the World Cup 29 semi-final, and that second result - being played in Krytenia's national stadium - had stung.

Audioslavia had the better of the play in the first half but, at times, were almost reluctant to generate more scoring chances. They were complacent, and they paid for it before the interval, a headed goal bringing to an end a string of three Krytenian corners, and gee-ing the home side up in time for half-time.

The second half had been more even, keenly contested, a booking here or there, almost a sending off for James Courier who was getting more and more frustrated in midfield, before Valrauncion broke through and finished a bouncing ball past Imaslavii for two-one.

Klimt had stood, emotionless, arms folded, and tried not to pay attention to the rumbling underfoot. The Krytenians in attendance were bouncing and roaring, the Audioslavian away fans silent but for the odd scream of abuse at the team.

On the eighty-fifth minute mark, the game would find its highlight, the moment that would be seared onto the memories of everyone watching. A Krytenian counter-attacking catching out an increasingly desperate Audioslavia, one pass, another pass and a lay-off for a big striker to launch from twenty yards, straight into the bottom corner like an arrow, evading the lunges of two defenders forlornly trying to block the shot, and well beyond the sprawling Imaslavii.

The camera cut to a group of Audioslavian defenders, lying on the floor, staring at nothing in particular, beaten, broken. The golden trim on their claret shirts looking cringeworthy in light of the scoreline. Bouncing Krytenian fans in the background, the occasional blur of a cyan shirt speeding past the camera, on the way to celebrate with the goalscorer.

High up in the stands were a family of four - two parents and two boys. The boys were shrugging, but clapping politely. One of the parents was bouncing along with the Krytenians. The other stood, silent, eyes narrowed, lips pursed. She was not enjoying this in the slightest.

by **Darmen** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:41 pm

From the Scott City Times:

Darmeni Election Committee delays elections until September
Blames Regional tenseness, Constitutional Convention and Zombies?

The Director of the Darmeni Election Committee, Mason Hudson, released a statement early in the morning that the elections that had been planned for May will now be delayed until September.

Due to the recent escalation of tension in the region of Rushmore, the inability of the Constitutional Convention to reach a decision on several disagreements between the delegates, and the recent outbreak of zombies throughout the multiverse, the Darmeni Election Committee believes that it is in the best interests of all parties involved that the upcoming general elections be delayed until September. This date will not be changed to occur sooner, although a further delay may occur if tensions in Rushmore have not decreased, or if the Constitutional Convention has still been unable to conclude their convention and present the new Constitution to the Duke.

Several responses came quickly, with the longest coming from the Prime Minister himself, Scat Peari. "It's very disappointing," he said, he continued...

Democratic elections must be held soon. The people of this nation have waited long enough to voice their opinion. If the Constitutional Convention cannot come to an agreement on the issues it has debated on for the past several months, the Election Committee should go forward with the elections regardless, under the current constitution, with another election to follow under the new one.

Ruy Eguzki, the leader of the Libertarian Reform Party who in the past few weeks has gained a sizable following, at least in some preference polls, took a different approach.

The Constitutional Convention should be allowed to continue their debate, and elections should be held, now! I call upon all of my supporters and friends in Parliament to put pressure on the Election Committee to reverse its unwarranted decision. If the Constitutional Convention remains bogged down in its debate, the Parliament, following elections, could enact reforms regarding the issues that brought about the creation of a Constitutional Convention in the first place, by the already established, and well used process of amending the Constitution.

Eguzki continued to state that the recent actions of some governments in Rushmore, including Darmen's own, should not require the elections to be put off. As for the zombie outbreak, "Really, these things aren't even real, I me... AAAARGGHH, LER GO O' MY THROAAATT!"

Other front page news from around Darmen
Brham Sententinal: Gas prices rise further as Zombie apocalypse grips multiverse
Chuckio Post: Sicoutimont vows support to Valladares in potential conflict against Darmen
Darmeni Times: Cure for Zombies within reach say scientists
Liverpool Monarch: First UFO's stealing cattle, now Zombies stealing brains, IS OUTRAGE!
Romanopolis Centurion: Darmen still first after 6-2 win over Altiplane

by **Lymantatia** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:42 pm

Life About Charles Garcia - Chapter 5 - 4th Grade (1992-1993)
it was Monday, September 7, 1992, when it was Charles Garcia's first day in fourth grade. He had different teachers, except his Computers teacher was still Adela Lowe, who was still the GOAL Group's homeroom teacher and was the only teacher who liked him. John Orville, Mary Albert and Jennifer Lawrence were still his best friends. He was a master compter programmer. My afterschool activity was the Computer Club, which was run by Mrs. Lowe and me. My older brother was in the 7th grade, who for a field trip to Laurentia did not see for all of May 1993. My younger brother John was in the first grade. During June 1993, the Computer Club went to a trip to the Vircao Technology Museum. During summer, Charles Garcia and his family went to Laurentia for a vacation. Elizabethville Junior United was about to win their 103rd championship. And so they did.
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Kindergarten (1988-1989)
Chapter 2 - 1st Grade (1989-1990)
Chapter 3 - 2nd Grade (1990-1991)
Chapter 4 - 3rd Grade (1991-1992)
Chapter 5 - 4th Grade (1992-1993)
Chapter 6 - 5th Grade (1993-1994)
Chapter 7 - 6th Grade (1994-1995)
Chapter 8 - 7th Grade (1995-1996)
Chapter 9 - 8th Grade (1996-1997)
Chapter 10 - 9th Grade (1997-1998)
Chapter 11 - 10th Grade (1998-1999)
Chapter 12 - 11th Grade (1999-2000)
Chapter 13 - 12th Grade (2000-2001)
Chapter 14 - Freshman-Sophomore College (2001-2003)
Chapter 15 - Junior-Senior College (2003-2005)
Chapter 16 - Coaching a Children's Football Team (2005-2007)
Chapter 17 - The Prestigious Children's Football Team (2007-2010)
Chapter 18 - Marriage (2010-)
Lymantatia 2–0 The Monopoly
We have won the game against The Monopoly 2-0. We clearly imitated what happened last game.
Goalscorers
21 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
57 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
Current Statistics
Average number of time of goals: 34 1/4 minutes/34 minutes and 15 seconds
Average number of time of goals by other teams: 31 minutes
Most goals by person on Lymantatia's team: Jacques Bressler (7)

by **Hyskigland** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:53 pm

Di Hārold
Di Furš ænt End Zambi Tɨndiŋ av di Komunwelþ av Hískɨglænd

Sumir: Domdí har upan wi. Vɨn vis har forfet.

The Herald
The First and Only Zombie Newspaper of the Commonwealth of Hyskigland

Muuuuaaaaargh.

Rrrrrooouuu? Graaaaah…rrraaaa blaaaarh gaaaaar…braaaaaaains.

Muuurgh gruuuah blaaargh gyuuuurgh buuuuuuuur graaaaaaabuh hubuuuh rrrraaaaa mmmm. Magaaaaarh graaaaaalbaaaagh. Byaaaaagh uuuorgh raaaaaaaaaaagh 3-2.

“Raaaamaaaagh gruuuupaaagh bluuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr muuurtagh muuurgaaah byaaar…braaaaains,” haaaag haaaaaaaaar Yaaaaaargh Bluuuuuurgh. Muuurgh baaaar braaaaaaaaaaains.

Buuuraagh boooooouhr rrrrraaaab rrrrrraaaaaaaag raaaaaabaghuuuuuurr. Gruuuugh muuurgh baaaaaaaaaaaaar brrrrrruuugh rrrraaaaabaaagh blaaaargh gruuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr…

Byaaaargh. Braaaaaiiiiins. Bluuuurtaaaaaagh rrrraaaaaaarrrr yyaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.

Learn Hyskiglandic!

Okay, quick lesson today. We could cover a lot of ground, but, yeah, seriously, okay, we don’t have a lot of time. Quick lesson. Got it.

While in Hyskigland, it’s nice to know some of the colloquialisms that native speakers use. This could mean simple expressions meaning such things as “Good morning” or “Thank you,” but it is also sometimes important to know how to express shock, surprise or disgust.

So, today, here is what you need to know: the way to say “Holy shit” in Hyskiglandic is “Helaskɨt.” In Hyskiglandic, many compound words are formed from an adjective and a noun in this manner. Here, I’ll use it in a sentence.

“Helaskɨt!”

by **Mashiki** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:55 pm

The match at Kialga was the least of the team's worries. Knowing that even if they had lost they would still be in a strong position, the match itself didn't really matter to them. On the flight to Kialga, reports of a worldwide pandemic had flooded the news screens. The 21 Mashik Players that were on that flight seemed uneasy, some straying into the border of panic. But most remained calm, as a relaxing and calming voice came into the main flight cabin:

"Good morning folks this is your captain speaking. We will be descending into Nigh Citta International Airport immanently. I can guarantee that most of you are worried about this worldwide infectious pandemic, however I can assure you that in the nation of Kialga the situation is under control and the infected are being contained. A cure is being developed in this nation and as of yet there have been no fatalities. Only a small proportion of the population are still infected and they are being contained in the country's prisons. So as I said you have nothing to worry abou..ab-ab-ab-abarrrrrr!!"...

What happened next basically defined the situation; the co-pilot came fleeing out of the cabin and started cowering behind one of the seats. A delayed burst of screaming followed as the door of the pilot's cabin flew open and a creature of non-human-like origin started to move forwards in a limp-like fashion. Around half of the Mashik players copied the co-pilot's movement and also crouched under their chairs in a state of panic. However, Bashka Wimpal-Mateng had other plans. Bashka was widely-known as one of the more courageous players in the squad, much more so than the likes of Salla Denchski, a weakling. Using his basic instinct, Bashka ran for the only thing that would be of use against the zombie - the fire extinguisher.

"Hey Dilio! Open up that door will you!"

"Are you crazy man?! We'll all be sucked out!"

"So you wanna get infected instead then? Yeah, that's sounds like a great idea! Apart from the fact that YOU'LL BECOME A ZOMBIE!"

"Okay man chill out a bit...."

"YOU'RE TELLING ME TO CHILL WHEN THERE'S A FRICKIN ZOMBIE IN THE ALLEY! YOU CRAZY BRO!"

"Okay, Bashka you need to calm down a bit, I'll deal with this."

Being the captain tht he was Dilio Menz was meant to be trained to lead in this sort of situation, however this was a bit different as you might be able to tell...

"Hey Bashka, do us a favour will you, and smash that zombie on the head with that extinguisher, then we'll deal with him."

A notorious thud came from the back of the cabin as Bashka whacked him on the head with the canister.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT YOU PIECE'O'CRAP," Bashka yelled with a hint of supremacy.

"We get the point man..." a voice from the crowd murmured. In disgust Bashka grunted but didn't react to the comment.

"Well we're safe now, right?"

"Yeah we're good now I mean the zombie's unconscious I think, and the plane's on tra-.."

"What is it?" Dilio asked Maha Bubuneski, the team's manager.

"If we're all out here, who's flying the plane?"

"It's on auto-pilot," the co-pilot explained, still in a state of slight shock after the episode. "Although the auto-pilot turns itself off when we're scheduled to come into land. I'll just check how long it's gonna be."

The co-pilot checked his watch.

"Shit."

The plane suddenly jolted and began to go into anti-stall plummeting downwards from 45,000ft. All the passengers were suddenly pushed towards the back of the plane by the sheer force of the movement, but the co-pilot had had time to react. He'd grabbed hold of the seat net the front of the plane and already began to haul himself forward even before the plane had began its dangerously quick and unexpected descent. He reached the cockpit just in time, and quickly pulled the plane out of anti-stall before it was too late. The team seemed shocked by the whole thing, and many seemed overwhelmed, some even being sick over the nearby seats. But for now they were alright.

So anyway, after that episode the match came about, and many of the players seemed to uneasy to play after what happened on the plane, so a reserve team was fielded. They game ended in a 1-0 victory over Kialga, with a slightly depreciated crowd after the worldwide pandemic had left people feeling slightly dampened. A goal from Hespenta separated the sides in a close encounter for Mashiki which leaves them 3rd in the group after 5 games.

But as I said before, it was not the game that worried the players, it was what was going to happen when they returned home, as a large proportion of the population had been infected and they would be incredibly liable to infection. But for now, they just tried to put it out their minds until that time came around. For now, it was only the football that counted.

by **Bearded Moose** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:27 pm

”And that, dear viewers, is the reason why you will see a slightly changed set up from our Mooses for this game. With both Martinkjaer and Pärson on the sin bin, Aron Arneson receives a chance to fight his way back in the heart of the national coach and Iben Fabianhem makes his real debut on the international scene, if we forget about his short replacement during the game against Kericia.”
“Certainly a change for our guys to adapt to, isn’t it?”
“Well, it might make it a bit more difficult, they have been able to get used to the attacking triangle on the midfield so far, so scoring shouldn’t be much of a problem against this unranked side, Silver Beach.”
“Hmm… Let us not get too carried away. They grabbed a point against Ko-oren after all.”
“We’ll see how our guys do as soon as we manage to get connection with Silver Beach. We’ll probably have fixed it after these short commercials.”

“Diane, hurry up, they’re going to get started!”
“I’m with you in a minute.”

Although most people use that phrase as some sort of habit, it actually took Diane a minute to get from the kitchen to the living room. That damn hip again. Once again, only five out of six L-block residents had joined in as Georg was sulking in his room.

“Are you sure we can leave him there, on his own?”
“Ah, he’ll come around,” Berthe decided. “They’re getting started!”
“Is it just me,” Diane remarked, “or is there something wrong with the colour scheme from the telly?”

When the anthem of Silver Beach was played, all players had remarkably pale faces and stared into the distance as if they were drugged. The supporters didn’t really cheer, they rather would grunt as soon as one of our Mooses came near. For safety reasons, coach Gerhardhem decided that the substitutes wouldn’t be warming up. The replacements from the other time didn’t warm up as well, although a diversity of reasons could be named for that.

“Let’s hope we don’t act as bleak as they look,” Berthe smirked.
“We’ll certainly outrun them. They seem to be unable to speed up!”

Our Mooses soon noticed how the Beachians couldn’t handle a quick counterattack. So time after time, they would pass the ball around among the defenders until the opponents had positioned themselves at our side of the field. Some swift passing, preferably leaving the build-up for Fabianhem and Ebbehem, followed. Only five minutes in, this resulted in a goal by Arneson. Other scores would follow soon. Axelson, Sergeyenko, Ludwighem, Arneson again, each of them got launched with cunning tactics through the offside trap, positioned themselves eye in eye with the goalie and scored. With five against nil on the board, another counter was launched and once again it was Sebastian Axelson who was sent into attack. This time, the foreign goalie kind of anticipated his move.

“Watch out, Seb, he has left his goal and is rushing towards you,” Berthe shouted to the tv, oblivious for the fact that our lads were thousands and thousands of miles away.
“He’ll be late,” Heinz warned, “they’ll collide!”

With bonebreaking speed, Sebastian Axelson smashed the Silver Beach goalie and both tumbled to the grass. The Beachian goalie placed one hand on Axelson’s throat and grinned in an unnatural fashion.

“Is he trying to bite him? What is this, boxing?” Heinz pondered.
“Oh no,” Diane screamed, “he’s going to put his teeth in him!”

In a reaction, Axelson smacked his fist into the goalkeepers face who was astonished for a moment. By the time he regained his senses, the referee had booked both players with a red card. The match would have continued if it hadn’t been for the behaviour of the foreign captain. That Beachian player got aroused by the red card, seized for the refs wrist and tried to get hold of the poor bugger. Despite only twenty-two minutes were played, he whistled for half time in panic.

“What’s that? That’s unseen before!”
“They’re done yet?” Anna questioned.
“In all fair honesty, I’m not sure…”

”Dear viewers, this is truly strange. We’ll go live to Stavros, who is on the side line for us. Stavros, what is going on?”
“Well, I’m not sure either, although I did have to hold back two stewards who seemed to attempt to whisper something in my ear. We’ll try to hold our microphone near a conversation between two people who are standing close to me, captain Lukas Maxhem and the referee.”

Ref: “I’m afraid our rulebook is not prepared for this…”
LM: “You can’t continue the game! They try to bite us, for Margaret’s sake!”
Ref: “Do you want to stop?”
LM: “Of course… They’re lunatics!”
Ref: “Hmm… But I’m obliged to start a second half, otherwise you’ll receive a forfeit score against.”
LM: “What? Can’t you suspend them? They’re dangerous.”
Ref: “I must start a second half…”
LM: “That’s… Really.”
Ref: “On the other hand… I can whistle it to a quick end as well.”
LM: “That would be great! But won’t it bring you in trouble?”
Ref: “I’ll find some reason which explains everything, don’t worry. No one will ever know. I'll just tell them that a part of the field lies in a different timezone which is set 44 minutes apart from the regular one. We’ll start, a quick attack and I’ll finish it, is that fine?”

“What the bloody hell is going on? Are they going to start again?”
“They can’t, it hasn’t been fifteen minutes so far. I’ll go get another cup of coffee,” Diane said.

When she finally got there and found the beans, Heinz yelled to her in surprise.

“They’re starting again!”

On the other hand, when she eventually was back and had retaken her seat, the ref had ended the game already. Sergeyenko had given the kick-off, Ludwighem moved the ball backwards to Oleksandrenko who passed it to Fabianhem. A long kick along the side to Arneson, who was sprinting as if his life depended on it –it actually did, in a way- and scooped the ball in front of goal. Sergey Sergeyenko had outrun his opponents and headed it in the back of the net. With this goal, the referee blew the whistle thrice and finished it.

“Darn, now I missed the second half,” Diane sorrowed.
“Well girl,” Heinz said, “all I would do is be happy that Thorsten didn’t have to play.”

”A remarkable win by the Mooses, who have gone up to nine points so far. Our winning streak is at risk when looking forward to our next opponent. With the Archregimancy, a household name of international football is coming to Thalfurth Community Stadium. The Monks, as they are named, are led out on the field by Artemius the Unwashed and have changed the world with their inspiring anthem, the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom, and their fine passing football. This resulted in a quarterfinal last cycle, with the same players on the field.
Certain upheaval has been gone through their society due to their ‘joga bonita’, which was seen as in stride with their strict orthodox beliefs. Nevertheless, our chances are less than slim against this respected team, with … Hey, hey! What are you doing? Leave my cameraman alone! I’m warning you! Do you want me to come o… Oh. You’ll come to me. Don’t come closer. Don’t come closer! No! Not the neck! No! Nooooooooo!

The screen went blurry from that point onwards.

“This is indeed a disturbing universe,” Julius remarked before strolling to his room.

by **Powersith** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:56 pm

Chapter 1: Rough Beginnings and Discovery

Chapter 2: Believe
Part 1: Proving Grounds
Part 1A: The Boy Who Exploded Overnight
Part 2: There Are Always Firsts

Part 3: Crisis occurs

Taylor Mcawellmen still played like a monster. Giving assists and more. They would sadly tie again. On the Team Flight back to Powersith a news broadcaster reported horrific news.

The television showed the Emperor, in his war room/bunker. This wasn't good.

"Today, the citizens of Powersith have been overrun by zombies. Armed Forces are currently exterminating as much zombies as they can. Citizens in infected areas are to move to quarantine zones. Any possible infected are to head into special areas for testing. Report any zombie activity in your area, so that Armed Forces and Police Officers can exterminate. May God help us all."

"Wait, What the fuck? How are we supposed to play our next game versus Karditan?"

Everyone looked at each other. No one knew what would happen. Patrick Monroe spoke up, "Maybe we can still play, I mean Imperial Capital City hasn't been infected yet. Its also on hard lock down, no one is going in or out. Except for us."

Manager William Thomasson, spoke up as well "We have to wait and see."

The news kept going about wearing masks, and cities being on lockdown. Only 3 cities remained uninfected, Imperial Capital City, East Way City, and West City. Everything else had zombies in them.

May God Help Us All.
***

PSSN

There will be no report today as PSSN HQ has been over run by zombies. We are putting up online articles that show the statistics of the games played. We are currently in our mobile headquarters, heading towards a safe zone.

Scoring Summary
12' Patrick Monroe 1-0
43' Masdi Lasdao 1-1
Halftime
63' Masdi Lasdao 1-2
89' Patrick Monroe 2-2

Final Score Powersith 2 Lalo Limahina 2

Statistics

Score: Powersith 2 Lalo Limahina 2
Possession: Powersith 53% Lalo Limahina 47%
Shots: Powersith 9 Lalo Limahina 7
Shots on Goal: Powersith 6 Lalo Limahina 5
Corners: Powersith 6 Lalo Limahina 9
Fouls: Powersith 15 Lalo Limahina 15
Yellow Cards: Powersith 0 Lalo Limahina 0
Red Cards: Powersith 0 Lalo Limahina 0

Statistical Leaders

Goals: Patrick Monroe (8)
Saves: David de Phillips (10)
Assists: Leonardo Martinex (6)

Important Statistics
Goals: Robert Charles Vanor (1) Taylor Mcawellmen (1) Leonardo Martinex (1)
Assists: Taylor Mcawellmen (4)

It is unknown at the moment if Powersith will be able to play at Imperial National Stadium for their match versus Karditan. Powersith stands in 4th place with 8 points. Their record is 2-2-1
***

by **Equestrian States** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:59 pm

ESPN: Equestrian Sports Programming Network
Multicolored Blitzkrieg: Ponies Streak Into First Behind Rainbow Blitz’s Hat Trick
by Steve McNotapony

Equestrian States - 4
Rainbow Blitz '19
Fire Dash '22
Rainbow Blitz '48
Rainbow Blitz '67

Cowardly Pacifists - 1
Unknown '84

CLOUDSDALE, EQUESTRIAN STATES - Five matches into their World Cup qualifying campaign, and the Equestrian national hoofball team still has yet to lose despite several less-than-perfect performances against teams ranked considerably lower than them. Is this a sign that the Equestrian States could do the unthinkable and steal the group from under the noses of Osarius and Sargossa? Or are the Ponies simply setting themselves up for another ultimately disappointing finish? It’s really too early to make drastic predictions such as those, but let’s just say that if the Equestrians play like they did last night against Cowardly Pacifists when they go up against Osarius and Sargossa, that their chances will be dramatically higher.

Through and through, it was an Equestrian-dominated match all night long. Even with a late defensive slip that gave the Chickens (as I remember the Cowardly Pacifists national team being called) their lone score of the night, it was by far the most complete game the Ponies have put together in some time...

...Say, what is that peculiar groaning sound from behind my door? I suppose I should probably che - "OH SWEET LUNA ABOVE, WHAT THE TARTARUS IS THAT?!"

by **Kinitaria** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:01 pm

Continued from here.

Click. Milo Kovraev, who had somehow became manager of Lokani United not seven hours ago, didn't actually have any idea how to do his new job. That's why he now found himself scrolling through a thread on the official Lokani United Fans' Forum, trying to gauge what the fans wanted the team to do. He thought he had a fairly good idea himself, until this job landed in his lap. Now, he found that he had no idea. The pressure of the situation seemed to be getting to him, and he'd hardly had the job a quarter of a day.

Right, what were the fans saying... "Whatever happens, there's no way we should play Lovirič. Awful defender, responsible for three goals against Olimpia, get him sold as soon as possible." That was one comment. Milo found himself agreeing - he'd found himself saying the same thing to Dejan and Tomas in the pub after the Olimpia game. How long ago was that? He had to pause to work it out, but... eight days. It seemed like a lifetime away. He got the feeling that he'd have to make a clean break from now - almost a total divorce from the rest of his life. At least he lived alone...

Any other useful advice buried in amongst the sea of junk? Hm... a lot of people wanted Loviku to be given a chance in the left-wing position, which is something Milo had often called for during his time on the terraces. He would have said exactly the same after the day's training session, to be honest. It seemed he had most of the same ideas as the fans, but one thing he found surprisingly lacking on an internet forum was in-depth tactical analysis. He knew what he wanted the players to be doing, he just didn't know how to make them do it, which could prove sort of crucial.

Even his League Manager game couldn't save him now. What he really needed now was some sleep. And that's what he headed off to do, until he was rudely interrupted by a loud banging on his door before he could even drift off. Muttering to himself, he headed downstairs to open the door, upon which he saw Dejan and Tomas staring back at him. None of them said anything for a few brief moments.

"I don't believe it, you really were serious," said Dejan finally, an incredulous tone creeping into his voice.

"Yeah, that's for sure," added Tomas. "Sorry about... you know, the banter and all that," he murmured sheepishly.

"No problem, lads, don't worry," Milo replied, trying to sound more cheery (and awake) than he felt. "Come in, you want a beer?" Of course they would, he headed off to the fridge.

"You sound out of it, man," Tomas shot back. "What have they been doing to you through there, hm?"

"Oh, I've just had a long day, that's all," sighed Milo, returning with three bottles of beer. "First day on the job and all that, I had to make a good impression. Media would have torn me to bits otherwise." Not as though they wouldn't if he took United down...

"I've never met a football manager before. Not a proper one in the League, anyway," Dejan took a swig of his beer. "I'll be wanting an autograph when you take us to the Champions' Cup Final, you got that? But look," he continued, his voice taking on a serious tone, "you know I love this club. It's my passion. And as it stands, you're the only thing standing between us and disappearing from the League. So just make sure you keep us up, you got that?"

Something flashed red across Milo's mind. If these two had come here just to preach to him about the club... he felt a similar outburst to the one he'd unleashed on the media earlier. But the media was one thing, he didn't want to do that to his friends. "I know," he sighed. "I feel for the club just as much as you do, and the last thing I want is to be relegated. I'll be doing whatever I can to keep us in this division."

Dejan nodded along with Milo's speech. "Well, good luck, I'm right behind you," added Tomas. "We'll be there to watch the Hosesti game, what do you reckon? Three points there?" Not that there's any pressure or anything, of course.

"We've got to win, I know that much." Milo wasn't prepared to commit to anything right now. To be honest, the last thing he felt like was a detailed discussion of the crisis facing him and his club. "I've seen the squad today, I know they're better than the Hosesti lot."

"Good man, I knew we could count on you!" Dejan added excitedly. "A whole new era, hm? Onwards and upwards and all that!"

Milo could only murmur vague assent. A feeling of wondering how, exactly, he got in this situation was once more beginning to sweep over him, and he didn't like it. Oh well, half a day gone, five terrifying games to go. It was a relief when he was able to get the increasingly drunken pair out, and head upstairs to hide from the rest of the world.

The next day dawned - three days until his public crucifixion at the Alultorii following the near-certain confirmation of Lokani's relegation, he couldn't help thinking. He stared into a mirror, and didn't especially like what stared back. He took some time to sort himself out before wolfing a quick breakfast (he hadn't quite realised how hungry he was) and heading to the stadium - his home stadium - for morning training. He'd have to wing this one again, but he had a vague plan this time. The short walk took only a few minutes, and upon walking through the large glass double-doors of the stadium entrance, he took a look at his watch and realised he was actually there half an hour earlier than he needed to be. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he followed the stadium corridors through to the home team dressing room. Pushing open the door, he was amazed at what lay ahead of him.

It wasn't a fantastic facility. In fact, it was a long way off. But it was his. He had visualised this place many times over the years, and it had made him quite unprepared for the reality. It was a simple room, with fifteen green-and-white striped shirts (and a red one) hanging on pegs, and a wipe-clean tactics board on the wall at the front. Honestly, there was nothing to set it apart from a regular changing room. And Milo found himself falling in love with the place. The history of Lokani United Football Club had started here, as the managers urged their players onto great heights - or at least reasonable ones. No, the great heights were left for him to scale.

Closing the door silently, he walked the short distance to the players' tunnel. Now this is where he had fantasised about being as a young boy, kicking a ball around in the streets, with 21 other players raring to go for the battle ahead. But he now occupied an even more special position. He was the one tasked with guiding that team. Pacing up the tunnel and out onto the pitch, he gazed around at the four stands. Diminutive by Premier Division standard - 14,000 could fit in the whole ground if you were lucky - but from his position on the touchline, they looked positively vast. This was what he had come to. This was his club, and he was going to keep them up, starting with three points against Sosiyala Hosesti.

With a mind full of newfound fire, he headed off to training.

by **Karditan** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:01 pm

"BllblkjglksjfglKdLKJEIJOEIJOIJSLSAASOIJF!" Emanuel flailed wildly, the sudden sense of vertigo overtaking all logical reasoning. Salty ocean water flooded his gullet, and the wake of the leaving boat sent him fully beneath the surface. His vision went wild, putting weird colors in all the wrong places, before leaving him completely. With no sense of 'up' and no way to reference his orientation, it seemed like all was lost and those Charmunnry bastards turned this smuggling gig into a self-hit. He only had time for one last thought before completely blacking out: I always hated the ocean.

***______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________***

"You drowned?!" Sweet stared at her husband incredulously.

Emanuel nodded and looked out the window, where the rain softly pattered against the glass. "I was never a strong swimmer. My father threw me into the Norleans Delta to teach me how... it didn't work. That kind of destroyed our relationship."

"You didn't have a good relationship with your dad?"

He cocked an eyebrow at her, but didn't really blame her; family history wasn't his favorite topic to discuss. "Why do you think I became a criminal?"

"...Right. So how are you still alive?"

"I was about to get there, before you interrupted."

"Well, go on, then!"

"Just a minute--I have to use the loo." Emanuel quickly got off the coach and headed for the hallway.

"Again? You just went!"

"Hot Chocolate goes right through me." Sweet sat back, crossed her hooves, and huffed as he left the room.

by **Wight** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:09 pm

Link to Matchday Six scores

BREVITY-ESQUE CREATIVE CHALLENGES
Just for fun or inspiration, there is no disadvantage if you choose to ignore them.

Word of the day, from dictionary.com: Ha-Ha

Random-ish quotation, from quotationspage.com: Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Charles M. Schultz

Interesting book title, from a google images search "most unusual book titles" and looking for something appropriate to the day: Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop (And Other Practical Advice In Our Campaign Against The Fairy Kingdom) by Reginal Bakeley, if you're interested

…and from lulu.com: Outbreak by Sean Solomon

Random Oblique Strategy, from joshharrison.net: Make what's perfect more human - I would just like to point out that this was a genuine first hit random selection. Serendipitous.

Special day today, from daysoftheyear.com: Sourdough Bread Day

Wiki-hiking, using Wikipedia's 'Random Page' function to start, and then using hyperlinks within the page to find something interesting, led me to this page in five jumps: Obeah. And yes, I was looking for something loosely related to todays happenings. Speaking of which...

HARD DAY CLEANING UP THE INFECTED? NEED SOME DOWNTIME?
http://zombiesafehouse.wordpress.com/

And don't forget the handy guide…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Zombie_Survival_Guide
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Zombie-Surv ... 071563318X

by **Maklohi Vai** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:05 pm

OOC Note: The in-character content of this post is in no way representative of my own views or thoughts. I do not wish to offend, just to develop my country's crazy far-right wing side. If you have any issues with this RP, don't hesitate to tell me. I will try to remove offensive content ASAP.
OOC 2: Sorry for not RPing the past two days. I have had arguably the hardest weekend of my time in school, ever. I'll spare you the details. Also, this acts as a warning that RPing will be tough this week as well, due to various commitments and activities.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

MVFA: Predictions and Speculations

Hello, fellow countrymen and patriots. This is Kalo Nupakani, your resident alternate-interpretation journalist. That's the title they give me because they're just too afraid to let me use my real name: The Truth Giver.

Alright, so let's look at our Vaian team's opponent, a nation by the name of Basque Socialist States. Now, I don't need to tell you honest Vaian listeners that there are good types of socialism and there are bad types of socialism. The country we live in runs a system called Polynesian socialism. There is an emphasis on respect for all of our fellow citizens, and that is why there is free healthcare, welfare regardless of your situation, and major attempts at getting nearly everyone employed. These is an emphasis on education as well, because we need to teach our children and allow them to become productive members of society. College tuition can be covered by the government for Vaian students, and over 50% of those leaving college go on to graduate school. This is a system that works, my fellow countrymen, and that is why I am proud to live in this country.

However, not everyone follows such a great ideal. Basque Socialism, is, on the face of it, a relatively sane movement. It is not with the main body of the party that my suspicions lie. My suspicions instead lie with ultra-nationalist groups, like one that I have heard about through the grapevine: Iparretarrak*. This group operates sadistic terrorist plots to eliminate and desecrate the land that rightly belongs to other peoples and other rulers. This group has no reason to exist, and they should be shunned and punished beyond the extent of the law. I cannot sit here and wait for people to die because of idiots! Now, I hope that this group is not representative of the nation, and I do know that they exist** in this nation which our football team so recently played. Unless these Basque Socialist States want to hand over these terrorists and denounce their ways, I see no other conclusion to be drawn than that of a plot. The country will be presumed to be hiding and supporting the group, and that's not something I can live with. My readers, please urge this country to hand over the evil-doers so that everyone can rest.

The views expressed in this piece are solely those of Kalo Nupakani, and are not representative of the Maklohi Vai Football Association.

*A real group, often described as being terrorists.
**In RL, not the case. They have formally disbanded.

by **Alexanderburn** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:24 pm

Romantique Belle Vie 2-4 Alexanderburn
Frederiksen (8'); van der Pol (23'); Austerlitz (41', 80')
Alexanderburn gains three points, mixed reviews from critics however

Romantique Belle Vie looks like they're going for the goal - it's a clear shot - and.. is that a zombie?

Alexanderburn proved victorious for a mere second occasion in this World Cup after defeating the nation of Romantique Belle Vie and its team at a notable away game.

Many top players, coaches, and reporters across the nation have been praising and criticizing the way that Alexanderburn has been playing in recent matches, this one included despite the obvious and triumphant victory over the slightly superior football team of RBV. The widespread critiquing stems from the team's inability to actually produce results in the second half of the game, as evidenced by the one goal scored by Austerlitz in the eightieth minute versus the two golas scored by the opposition in the last 45 minutes of the match.

"I think it's time to step things up with agility exercises for the entire team, notably the midfielders," urged on former coach Jan Luis Calciorotti, who is currently in charge of the Portsmouth football club, which made its way from sixth place to first place in the past season. "Personally, I believe that [coach Kingsley] needs to fire the current coaches and trainers responsible for the slumbering parties that are occurring on the field during the last half hour."

Other fans had similar thoughts on the matter, though the majority did not voice such a strong opinion in opposition to the current training management. Many supporters believed that the problems derived from a lack of communication between the players and the coaches directly rather than a lack of skill or proper training. However, almost all agreed that it was up to the players to implement what they have (or in this case, have not) learned and turn those actions into three points for the glorious commonwealth.

In other news, Eric Austerlitz, named one of the most up-and-coming footballers of the year in 2012 and notable for the endorsement of numerous football magazines for a role as the new captain, scored two magnificent goals against the RBV team. Frederiksen and van der Pol, the top two stars for the ANFT, also netted one goal each. Many believe that the team is coming together more as a unit more, as evidenced through goals from the defenders, midfielders, and forwards alike, but it is also argued that this togetherness may be one of the fundamental causes inhibiting a powerful counterattack and dynamic in the second half, as all of the players must operate based on the stamina of the weakest link. Here are the match stats for last night's game:

0:1 - Frederiksen - 8'
0:2 - van der Pol - 23'
0:3 - Austerlitz - 41'
1:3 - (unknown player) - 54'
2:3 - (unknown player) - 71'
2:4 - Austerlitz - 80'

Tonight's match will be played at Greenwich - Roaton Arena just outside of Greenwich - that is, if there are any humans left in Alexanderburn and the zombies do not attack again!

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn vs. Liventia)

-------------------------------- Massie -------------------------------
--- Frederiksen ---- Holierhoek ---- Schroeder ---- Austerlitz ---
-- Rittenhouse -- Doyle -- Hooper -- Milton -- Collett --
--------------------------------- Nordaglio ----------------------------------

Modification: -2

Good luck Alexanderburn!

by **Filopines** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:29 pm

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelo Folks! It's Joey McDougall from filosport.flp!

Let's have a look at today's match against The Royal Kingdom of Quebec from Matchday Six in the World Cup Qualifying. Here's the result:
TRKQ 3-2 Filopines
51' Han, 58' Castonelli, 62' Johnson (pen.)
78' Gosling, 84' Dibay

What happened:
The first half seemed pretty boring, but the second half started with a bang with many shots at goal. First blood came in the 51st minute from Quebecois captain, Ross Han. Just seven minutes later, the 14 year old with the Italian surname, Castonelli scored a screamer from 25 yards. The Executioners continued their hot streak after Riley Johnson was fouled by veteran David Arbeloa. No card was given but Johnson converted from the spot. By then, TRKQ were up by three goals to none. In the 78th minute, Stephen Cayley recieved the ball on the wing. He used his pace to clear past two defenders then sent in a cross that went straight to heading specialst Harry Gosling's head and into the net. It may have seemed like it, but it was no consolation goal. Luis Rodriguez got the ball in the middle of the field and kicked a long ball down to the box and found the foot of Ahmed Dibay. He had no time to control the ball so he tried a half-volley chip over the head of Adrian Marchand and scored successfully. Filopines attacked and attacked for the rest of the game but could not get the ball past Marchand.

Filopinian player ratings out of 10:
Nolder 5.5
Dayley 7
Arbeloa 6
Cahill 6.5
Viney 6
Rodriguez 8
Hart 7
Bolbing 6
Cayley 6.5
Dibay 7.5
Harodzic 7
Subs:
Hart 5
Gosling 7
Rosberg 6

by **Saintland** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:23 pm

Saintland defeats Kishrael 3 to nil

(SP) The Kingdom of Saintland defeated Kishrael by a score of 3 to nil at Royal Stadium as the Sanctii returned to form at just the right time. Prince Andreas had a dominant performance, scoring a hat trick. The sold-out crowd cheered on the Prince of Saintland and his teammates and the crowd was loud all match long. "When we returned from Kinitaria, my father had a talk with me about my performance. I looked into his eyes and I could feel how disappointed he was by my performance in this tournament. I decided to rededicate myself to soccer. Before the match, I got my teammates together and we all went to the cathedral and prayed. We recognized that we had grown overly proud and that we needed to repent of our pride and humbly ask God to assist us once again. I do not know if God wills that we will reach the promised land of the World Cup, but we have rededicated ourselves to the True Church and we have focused once again on the task before us." - Prince Andreas

It didn't take long for Prince Andreas to put the Sanctii in the lead today. In the 3rd minute, Nicolaus Poenius intercepted a pass and sent it in the direction of Paulus Flaccus. Changing things up slightly, Flaccus ran with the ball to the side of the box. A perfect cross from Paulus Flaccus found Prince Andreas, who booted in the back of the net. The Kingdom of Saintland led 1 to nil. This was the first Sanctii lead since the match against Zwangzug.

Kishrael did get their opportunities in the first half. Meshulam Marikosh would pass to Yehuda Taputzov in the 12th minute and Taputzov would take a shot at the goal. Alessandro Seius knocked it out for a corner. The corner would be headed away to safety by Lucas Aufidius. On the counter-attack, Stephanus Vagionius would get through on goal, but his shot curved too far to the left and went out for a goal kick.

In the 23rd minute, Kishrael conceded a free kick. Prince Andreas used the opportunity to take a shot. He hit it over the wall, but the free kick would be knocked out for a corner by Menashe Shumron. A corner from Prince Andreas found its way to Silvester Flaccus, but Flaccus headed it out for a goal kick.

There would be a few other scoring opportunities, but another goal would not be scored until added time. In added time, Matthaeus Belaeus sent a long pass in the direction of Stephanus Vagionius. The Sanctii striker got possession of the ball. When he arrived in the box, he faked a shot. Shumron bought the fake. Vagionius then passed it to Prince Andreas, who put the ball in the back of the net for his 2nd goal of the first half. Saintland led 2 goals to nil as the referee blew his whistle to mark the end of the first half.

After the halftime interval, Kishrael came out dejected while the Sanctii had their self-confidence back. A confident Saintland side came out attacking and found themselves inside the box in the 49th minute. Prince Andreas passed to Vagionius and Vagionius sent it into the post. Prince Andreas got the rebound and he sent it right into the hands of Menashe Shumron. Kishrael had somehow kept their deficit at 2 goals.

After a number of scoring opportunities that resulted in no additional goals for the Sanctii and one last wasted scoring opportunity for Kishrael, Prince Andreas got another free kick in the 73rd minute. This time, Prince Andreas sent it right at the upper left corner of the goal and the keeper mistimed his jump. It sailed into the back of the net and Prince Andreas had the first hat trick ever by an international player from the Kingdom of Saintland.

The next decision by Prince Andreas saw the Prince replace the Flaccus brothers with the Jucundius brothers and shift to a 7-1-1-1 formation. It was reminiscent of the victory over Zwangzug, as the Sanctii were happy to just run out the clock. They successfully did so, preventing Kishrael from getting a clear look at the goal. When the referee blew his whistle to signal the end of the match, the Sanctii had defeated Kishrael by a score of 3 goals to nil.

With the win, the Sanctii remain in 6th place in Group 2. Due to the draw between Audioslavia and Kinitaria and Soviet Canuckistan's shocking draw against Zwangzug, Krytenia is the new leader in Group 2 at 15 points. Kinitaria is now 2nd with 14 points. Soviet Canuckistan has 13 points. Audioslavia is 4th at 11 points, as the Champions continue to underperform in qualification. Zwangzug is ahead of us in the group with 10 points. The Sanctii have consecutive away matches against Queer Poco el Mono Ara and Backyard Sports coming up. These next few matches will determine whether the Kingdom of Saintland will contend deep into this qualification tournament or whether our chances will be extinguished early on. Be sure to watch the match on Royal One tomorrow as the Kingdom of Saintland visits Queer Poco el Mono Ara.

Following their collapse against Kinitaria, a frustrated Saintland National Soccer Team took the flight back home to face Kishrael.

Alessandro Seius - Andreas, you cost us that match today. Lucas and Matthaeus were exhausted out there. The Jucundius brothers should have been substituted into the match.

Prince Andreas - I know, Alessandro. I cost us that match. I just haven't been the same since that loss to New Sideburn in the Baptism of Fire.

Alessandro Seius - You've got to get your head straight. When you are at your best, you are the best soccer player I have ever seen and a great captain. Right now, you seem distracted.

Prince Andreas - I've got this project I want to get started on. I'm going to create a great product that will introduce a new industry to our Kingdom, revolutionize that industry and bring enormous amounts of money into our Kingdom.

Josephus Flaccus - What might that be, Captain?

Prince Andreas - I can't say anything yet. We can't risk the SP or worse, the international press, finding out prematurely.

Alessandro Seius - I know your product will be great, Andreas, but right now what matters is the World Cup. We have dreamt of proving that we are better than those foreign athletes since we were young schoolboys that only heard about them from foreign residents. Now, our dream is within reach, if we can only stay focused.

Prince Andreas - Thank you, Alessandro. You're right. I shouldn't be thinking about anything other than soccer right now, but I just can't help it.

When the plane landed in St. Petrus, Prince Andreas returned home to the Royal Palace to see his father.

King Paulus XV - Andreas, I see that you have returned. I have been switching back and forth between the Royal Networks watching my National Soccer team and my National Gridiron team. I am disappointed by the struggles of both of my sons recently.

Prince Andreas - Both of us? I thought Petrus was undefeated in the Baptism of Iron.

King Paulus XV - He is. But, he hasn't been himself so far. But I don't want to talk about your older brother. I want to talk about you.

Prince Andreas - I know. I made some horrible decisions and I cost our team points against Kinitaria.

King Paulus XV - I'm disappointed by your poor performance, son. The entire Kingdom is disappointed. We thought you truly were the greatest soccer player in the world today.

Prince Andreas - For some reason, my passion has been missing lately.

King Paulus XV - Get it back. Clear your head. Nothing besides the World Cup matters right now.

Prince Andreas - I know, but I can't stop thinking about other things for some reason.

King Paulus XV - Your business will be here when you get back. Don't even think for a second that you'll be getting an early break just because you fail to qualify for the World Cup.

Prince Andreas - I'd love to qualify for the World Cup.

King Paulus XV - I hope so. However, should you fail to qualify, I will accept a Cup of Harmony invitation if it is offered. If we receive no invitation to the Cup of Harmony, I'm going to hold a tournament for the King Paulus XV Cup and you will be playing in it. Should I feel that you do not give full effort in whatever tournament you are in, I will make sure you go to the Swamp Soccer tournament and you will have to play every minute of that. There are plenty of tournaments I can enter you in.

Prince Andreas - I understand, father. I will do my best from now on.

King Paulus XV - Son, I have become increasingly convinced that Sister Polus is right. Get your team together and get right with God. When things are difficult out there, God will be with you.

Prince Andreas - I know we have become excessively proud lately. Maybe we should confess our sins and do penance before our next match.

King Paulus XV - That would be a wise decision. Never forget that God exists and never forget the teachings of the True Church.

Prince Andreas - Thank you, father.

As Prince Andreas went to his room, he knew he would take the entire team to confession before their match tomorrow. By repenting of their sins and turning to God, he knew God would side with them and lead them to victory over Kishrael.

by **New Sideburn** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:29 pm

Meltdown
Sideburn had been 2-1 up only an hour ago... and then Portia Thrift went off stunned after a mid-air collision during a corner. And Kurtis Fitzmarten... was not exactly having the game of his life.

The equaliser had come from a long shot; Kurtis spilled it and it continued into the back of the net. Then he failed to properly close down an attack from the flanks, and the ball flashed off his head and into the net. He still looked somewhat dazed from this as the fourth goal went between his legs in a one-on-one. He wasn't actually at fault for the fifth goal. Probably mostly because it was totally out of his reach at all.

Everyone has horror games; but if New Sideburn were to pursue 2nd, it was a bad time for Kurtis to have his.

"It's okay, Kurt," insisted his teammate Karelline. "You're still a great keeper, but suffering a minor concussion in the third goal didn't exactly help. Look, everyone has bad matches."
"We were winning," Kurtis said, glumly. "Lucia's free kick, Gerhard's header, everyone thought we were gonna win. And then this happened."
"It's alright," said Karelline. "It's okay. Just a bad day, alright?"
"Sure," said Kurtis. "I'm sure Gethin and Jessica will be so bloody understanding. Gethin didn't even talk to me after the match! He was too disgusted!"
"He's Gethin," pointed out Karelline, "and you're expecting him to be reasonable." Kurtis had to admit, she had a point.
But there was still one last question. "Is Portia okay?"
"Pretty sure she is. C'mon, we'll go pay her a visit."

The Visit
Portia's head hurt.
Granted, it had impacted with some foreign striker's thick skull only a few hours ago, but it still hurt like hell and she couldn't really remember what happened.
A nurse entered. "Ms. Thrift? Your teammates are here to see you; Ms. Charmwell, and... someone else."
Portia was curious as to why her face wrinkled up in disgust as she said the latter, but shrugged and waved them in. Karelline and Kurtis entered, the goalkeeper holding flowers.
"Hey, Portia," said Karelline, her voice a little fragile. "You, uh, you played a nice game out there. Today. Before the head injury."
Portia scoffed. "Hah! It was all down to us being better going forward than they were. I could've saved that shot... what happened in the end, anyway?"
Kurtis scratched the back of his head. "Well, uh... we lost 5-2. And it's my fault, I just... had an awful game, start to finish."
Portia groaned. "Fucking hell... we needed that bloody result!" Kurtis' face fell.
"Well, bitching at each other isn't going to help that," said Karelline, curtly. "... Look, will you be good to play tomorrow?"
"Think so." Portia grunted. "Bloody hope so." Kurtis moved as if to leave, but Portia just waved him back down in irritation. "No, it's not because I don't trust you or Asger. I just want to be back in the firing line as quickly as possible, aye?"
"Yeah," said Kurtis, a little vaguely.
Portia smiled, weakly. "It's okay, dear. The press will forget after a couple victories. And look... you've just got to be strong and recover, alright? They had us overmatched all over the pitch, and you can't have been at fault for all four goals; otherwise Gethin would've had you shot in the street. We need to tighten up in general. Don't blame yourself."
As the two said polite goodbyes and left the flowers behind for her, Portia sank back in her bed. "Don't blame yourself," she repeated. "The press will do that for you."

The Press, Doing That For Him
"'New Sideburn chokes lead; Fitzmarten proven utterly incompetent'. Seems a bit harsh," said Lucia mildly, as she flicked through the Treason Times.
"Aye, more than a little. They were running us ragged, anyway, the loss was coming sooner or later," reasoned Cathy. "It's stamina that needs to improve. These other teams have a fitness we simply cannot match."
"So you'd swap bratwurst and beer for pasta and protein shakes?"
The leftback snorted. "Let's not go overboard, here."
Mycroft Lyons, the new, foreign goalkeeper coach (from Lacklustria, the rumour went) entered the room, clapping loudly for attention. "Right, lads and lasses, let's get this show on the road! ... Where is everyone?"
"Hung over," answered Lukas, the only other person present. "Gethin?"
"Off sick," said Mycroft, curtly. "Why isn't everyone here at 7am? It's been the time things have started for the past two months."
"The listed time," Lucia corrected.
"Pardon?"
"The listed time. In practice, everyone's been showing up at around 7:20 to :30. They just kind of arrive in twos and threes. Here's Dale now." Lucia waved to him, through the window, and the midfielder waved back, a little unsteadily.
Mycroft snapped the blinds shut. "Why was I not informed of this?"
"You only show up at 11 most days," Cathy pointed out, casually rifling through a Brinemouth Herald.
"And so I decided to see how things were going from the start. What's wrong with that? Is this a wind-up?"
"Nothing's wrong, mate, just you're getting a little ... overexcited. Just let the lads filter in at a steady pace," advised Lukas.
"No," said Mycroft, with a steely glint in his eyes.
Dale opened the door. "Wotcher, all-"
"Down on the floor and sixty pushups, now!" roared Mycroft.
"Uh- wuh- wha-"
"Do it!"
Dale stared around the room, shrugged and started slowly doing the pushups. Lucia smirked.
"And that'll be another fifteen for you," said Mycroft, coldly. Lucia's smirk left her.
By the time Gethin showed up, the bulk of the squad was doing pushups. Miraculously, Cathy had used her small build and large broadsheet newspaper to her advantage, blending into the furniture well enough to avoid the punishment.
"The hell," muttered Gethin, "is going on here?" Jessica stepped in behind him, and her eyes widened.
"I decided that lateness and being a smartarse should be punishable somehow," said Mycroft, evenly. "Is there a problem with that?"
Gethin clearly believed that there was a problem, and was clearly showing great restraint not to break the nearest object over Mycroft's head, or vice versa. "Come on out here," muttered Gethin. "I'm going to explain a few concepts to you, as quietly as possible and trying not to break any of your bones..."

The next morning, Cathy noticed something in the day's Herald. An advertisement for a goalkeeper coach with the national side.

by **Kinzar** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:35 pm

Kinzar finally tastes victory,

After a most disappointing loss, the Wildcats were able to finally win a game during qualifying, knocking off equally struggling Rikatan by the score of 1-0. Hudson Stadium was a rather empty place on this day, with only 22,904 people in attendance to see what would be a historic win. It was a far cry from the enthusiasm over the Jeruselem match, and even far from the Maklohi Vai game as it seems as though Kinzites have been paying attention to qualifying enough to know who the good teams and who the bad teams are. Likewise, there was little interest to see Rikatan. As the players celebrated the win on the field, mainly because of the symbolic nature of the win, KSF (Kinzar Soccer Federation) President Matthew Brown says he sees positive signs, “I really feel that as this tournament has gone on, our people are appreciating what makes it a great event. Jeruselem really helped with that, and I want to say thank you to them, if they are listening, and even if they really did nothing themselves. What the Naked News Jeruselem report going viral across Kinzar did was allow our people to see what made their nation unique. We saw this in the World Baseball Classic, when we went to Equestrian States and saw the sentient ponies. I wasn’t expecting to see a large crowd against Rikatan, and in a way that’s a positive, because it shows that our people know who the best and worst teams are in the group.”

Kinzar’s win, made possible by a goal in the 40th minute (that would be in the first half, with five minutes to go) by Daniel Larsen and some pretty tough and gritty play in the midfield (that part of the game when you thought it was boring because there were no shots on goal for such a long period of time), moves Kinzar out of the cellar in Group 15. At 1-1-4, the Wildcats have four points, and are now 8th of 10. It’s hard to really set a goal for this team, but perhaps they can end up closer to the middle of this table (that’s what the standings are called), maybe 6th or 7th, if they can continue this winning way. Now that they know how to win, maybe they can keep it up. The NSCAA tournament isn’t quite ready to start yet, so take a watch to their road game at Yeldovia on PSN. After all, you could be a zombie.

by **Jeruselem** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:45 pm

Princess Katy, Michelle Salad and John Salad

Katy: YES YES, Princesses RULE
John: Calm down Katy, it's only a football game
Michelle: Sounds like she's have an orgasm
Katy: Hey, you wouldn't know what one was.
Michelle: Yes, well ... that's sadly true
John: Don't ask me Mum

Katy: We beat our biggest rivals, Yesopalitha. OH YEAH
John: I'm not used to dancing naked women
Michelle: Neither am I
Katy: Ha-Ha
John: Good thing I didn't bring the girlfriend today
Michelle: She's banned from Dazza Dallas Stadium anyway

John: No wonder
Michelle: That happens when you're rude to a Princess
John: I guess it does
Michelle: In the old days ... you could get hanged
John: Thank God for democracy
Katy: We're just tolerant people, to an extent that is

John: Where is little Amy?
Michelle: She's at school, even a Princess has to go to school
Katy: Yeah ...
John: Beatrice doesn't like me going to the football. Meet too many weird people.
Michelle: She's thinks I'm weird
Katy: Nah, you're plain boring.

Michelle: I guess people like you Princess
Katy: I'm just like any other woman my age
Michelle: Not really
John: Most people don't spend their life working naked
Katy: I suppose that's true
Michelle: I think the fact John talks to you bothers his girlfriend

Katy: She's just a control freak
John: She does follow me around
Katy: Gee, I wouldn't tolerate that
John: Well, you do disappear overseas a lot
Michelle: I have to keep her under control.
Katy: You have a good mum there

John: Dunno, she won't cope if you were my sister
Michelle: No way, dunno how your mum manages two of you
Katy: That's because she's like us
John: I'm glad I'm not a Dallas
Michelle: Me too
Dallas: You can join the family ya know

John: Err, no thanks

by **Antoletia** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:55 pm

"Fricking Saugeains"

"Yeah not letting us win in their place, horrible."

"Yeah, we should have won that game, not lost by two"

"They think they are so smug, wait until they lose some more games."

"Yeah, getting sick of their arrogance really fast."

"Need to wipe those smiles off of their faces"

"Beat them now."

"We need to kill them when they come to the Stadion, beat them to a pulp."

"Yeah, beat them to pulp"

"Rage"

"Yeah."

"Now lets just win the other games and come back on fire for the rest of the campaign."

"Yeah!!! RAGE!!!!"

"RAGE!!!!"

Goalscorers
Filip Constantinescu - 3
Raphael - 2
Clyde Dickens - 1
Hiarchratez - 1
Gabriel Mohammed - 1
Stefan Sala - 1
Gheorghe von Leeweonheouck - 1

by **Taeshan** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:02 pm

Nil-Nil draw, thats something familiar to Taeshanis. The Purple Knights managed an away draw at Hutt River, putting them 4 points ahead of a new second place team in Barunia who overpassed the Hutt River team with a win. With 16 points the Knights now can coast for basically the end of the first half, with the only really important game left being the start of the second half home against Karditan. A win there and the Knights are homeward bound and on to the tournament. The group that looked incredibly easy at the start continues to look incredibly easy as the tournament continues. The Knights will easily return to the biggest of international stages for their 8th attempt at glory.

Ender Wiggin - 6
Brian Ibrahim - 2
Seth Clapton - 1
Tyler Icicle - 1
Gwyn Juniper - 1

by **United Gordonopia** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:54 pm

And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.
-Ezekiel 25:17

It was over before it even began. Archangel's boats managed to slip undetected past the third-rate defenses of Johnstown's wide-open port, and from there their target was ripe for the picking. Pier 16, nestled in a quiet part of the city's industrial docks, had been a secret safehouse for the Kalinin Secret Police. Until recently it had been the hub of a covert operation supplying the armed Republican resistance against Gordonopia's righteous government. Now it was a cemetery.

The battle had been quick and clean. Perhaps it was because they felt the Gordonopians would not be so bold as to attack them on their own turf, or perhaps they never thought they would be discovered, but the defensive systems were worse than Archangel had expected. No external sensors. An alarm that had been disconnected from its power source by Archangel's technical operator. A complex lock, unfortunately located on a rather weak door. If they had made such simple mistakes, it was hard to believe that these men had fueled such a pain to the Empire. And yet that was exactly what they had done.

From the time Archangel breached the door to the moment the last man survivor, by his dress an officer, surrendered, only a few dozen seconds passed. Door charge. Advance. Check your corners. Flash. Open fire. Fifteen men dead, one captured.

It was an even bigger victory than Mount Ilnaka. Not only had the enemy been swiftly dispatched with no casualties, they had not the time to destroy their files. A treasure trove of data, only needing to be decrypted when Archangel returned home.

Just as quickly as they had entered, Archangel fled the scene. Their rafts were waiting right where they had left them, and not an hour after landing they were in international waters once again. The stealthy Scylla class submarine from which they had disembarked had reemerged from the depths to retrieve the strike team.

In and out.

Once again below the waters, en route to the Gordonopian-held port in Samar, Norm Bates sat contemplating the mission as he stared at the camera of their captive. The lone survivor. His friends now at the mercy of Lucifer.

The unfortunate man was blindfolded and restrained in a small supply cabinet, set up with sound-proofing just for this purpose.

From the soundless feed, he looked like a young child straining to get away from his mother. Struggling at first, probably yelling in the rough English of Kalinin-proper. Slowly, the futility of his cries began to set in, and slowly he calmed. Was he sleeping? Perhaps. Let him rest. It would be his last for a long time.

All Norm could think about was that vengeance had been struck. An initial scan of the files captured from the pier revealed that Force's Norm's instincts had been right: Pier 16 had been the source of the Republican's supplies. The men who had enabled the ruthless rebels to continue their hopeless but bloody war for so many more years.

The only problem was that it did not necessarily stop there. Time would tell just how high the operation went, and just what their next move had been. Would someone else pick up the fallen pieces?

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