World Cup 63 RP Thread

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:37 pm

From the World Cup 63 Journal of Laken Kim'athu, Sea Dragon reserve midfielder

Day 1: Thank the Mitrin Vega that the wait is almost over. All of the training will finally be put to use.

Nervous about the idea of traveling to Arme Bears via some magical gate or some such thing. Hope all of my parts arrive over there where they belong…

Urrath-am-Barrah is quite beautiful now that we are here. Cant believe just how massive these Ursine people are, They looked big on film. They are REALLY big in person.

I saw Royal Arena in the distance. It will be nice to get on the pitch an get a feel for the place. Ready for tomorrows match to get here.

Day 2. So loud. More than fifty thousand Ursines on hand to cheer for the Bear-Belles. Our own sky blue has been swallowe by a sea of yellow and green. How small we look out there,

The Bear-Belles came ready to play. Luckily our defense is fantastic. They will have to be under this kind of pressure.

Pygan refuses to let the squad push forward. He seems determined not to leave an opening for any counter. it’s a shame as #14 - Marraya I think - tends to slide up a bit far leaving room for Syri to gain quite an advantage.

Just a few seconds left until the final whistle. The defenders are worn out, but so are the Bear-Belle attackers so a draw seems likely. Honey is amazing. Watching her battle with Cadye has been nearly as awesome as being here.

These people really know how to party. Wish we coul stay a while but we are headed home in a few minutes. Damn. That means a trip through that gate again…

by **Lymantatia** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:40 pm

January 2, 2013
It was January 2, 2013 when we lost 0-2 to the Holy Empire. The goalkeeper of the other team distracted our goalkeeper.

by **Royalsoldiers** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:52 pm

Close Loss to Carpathia and Ruthenia 2-3

By, Lucas Hampton

The Royish team suffered a close, devastating defeat 2-3 to Carpathia and Ruthenia in their latest match. However, despite their original disgust after the match, the team has lightened up and taken the good stuff from the match. They realized they lost by only one goal to probably one of the best teams in Group 11. The team still was able to control Carpathia and Ruthenia all the way up to extra time in which Carpathia and Ruthenia scored quickly and Royalsoldiers was not able to put the ball in the net from there.

The Royish team got down almost immediately with a quick goal in the 23' and then in 39'. The team went into halftime down 2-0 and with Jim Kodiak in a bad mood from the performance in the first half. Kodiak set up more opportunities for the forwards to attack the Carpathia and Ruthenia team. It worked for nearly the entire second half until there was a small bit of pressure on the fullbacks to keep the opponent from scoring in the last couple of minutes. The team scored both their goals in the 56' and the 72'. Taurus scored the first goal and then Vic Madison came through with an excellent shot on the goal that left the opponent goalkeeper in shock at the speed and accuracy at the shot. Overall, the game was exhilarating and definitely did not put its viewers to sleep. We can only hope that the matches continue to be like this. Maybe there is a chance to establish Royalsoldiers for a qualifying run for the next cycle around. Carpathia and Ruthenia just had more talent and came through in extra time to win.

There were many different opinions on the match but most players on the team were upset about losing but they're a team of optimists and the leaders found a way to pick out the good parts. Jim Kodiak, the renowned manager of the Royalsoldiers Imperial Team, was very upset about the loss. Kodiak did make multiple newspapers with this comment, "This game cannot be placed on anything but the pure talent of the other team. We put up one of our better efforts and we were finally able to take our effort and convert into the playing that can make us play well. Let's just hope we continue this effort throughout the World Cup Qualifying." Kodiak was actually praised on his ability to recognize the fact that Royalsoldiers played very well just to lose in extra time to Carpathia and Ruthenia.

Goals

Carpathia and Ruthenia
23'-Unknown [No Roster Available]
39'-Unknown [No Roster Available]
112'-Unknown [No Roster Available]

Royalsoldiers
56'-Eric Taurus
72'-Vic Madison

by **Karditan** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:11 pm

OOC Note: I have permission from the various Rushmori nations involved in this arc to do what I'm doing.

Dear Diary,

The trip to Sant'Elia passed without trouble. The sea was relatively calm and we made good time, according to the captain. It was incredibly packed in the port area; or at least I thought so before I saw the city proper. The salty scent of the sea mingled with the odor of thousands of bodies running, rubbing, sweating. There was a faint smell of olives that hung in the air, just strong enough to be noticed. I had to muscle my way through the teeming masses of ebony, accuring the occasional surprised glance or mild epithet from the locals. They didn't seem very fond of my lighter skin. Though I expect my tanner complexion put me in better standing than the ivory-skinned. At one point the crowd in the street had to part to let through an automobile. I'm hesitant to put the label of "car" on it, but it's likely the height of personal transportation in this backwards little country. I didn't feel like getting even more compressed, so I escaped the crowd by slipping into a little dive.

It was still early in the day, so the spartanly furnished establishment was nearly empty. Only two souls were spending their morning there, a young woman reading a book (I have no idea how she could read in such low light) and the barkeep brewing some coffee. After the utter shite that was the discount Aelsh coffee served on the ship, the smell emanating from the bar had my mouth watering. I sat down as he finished stirring the pot and pulled it off the fire. The beans had been were fresh, harvested locally and very rich. Possibly the best cup of Joe I've ever had. The barkeep retired soon after to rest up for the next graveyard shift. It suddenly made sense why the room was so sparsely decorated and the liqueur was kept in a back room; if there's nothing to steal, there's no need to lock up. It wasn't long before I struck up a conversation with the girl.

***______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________***

"I'm going to go ahead and cut it off here." Emanuel closed the book and set it aside.

Sweet pouted. "Why? You were just getting to the good part!"

He chuckled and ruffled her mane. "You just love to hear about my sexual escapades, don't you?"

She just blushed in response.

"Well, this isn't one of them, but it's still a great story. I didn't go into detail about the conversation I had with that girl, which is a shame when recounting the tale. I'll just tell this part from memory."

She sat back and crossed her front hooves. "Well, get on with it then."

***______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________***

The woman and Emanuel sat their sipping their coffees for a few moments, her lips moving slowly and silently. It appeared she was having a bit of trouble reading the English text. Ever the helpful chap, Emanuel decided to offer his services.

"New to reading English?"

She looked up quickly, startled at the new voice. "Oh, apologies... I did not see you come in."

"I'm known to be light on my feet."

A brief scan of the room later, she turned back to him. "Where did Primo go?"

"I assume he's the barkeep? He went in the back for a nap. My name is Portico, by the way. Emanuel Portico."

The mystery woman ran a hand through her shoulder-length hair, black as the night. Her skin was exceptionally dark, as well, but the contrast with her hair created a fairer appearance. She smiled and pushed her bangs aside. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Mister Portico. I am Tullia Salazar."

"The pleasure is mine, Miss. Now how about that book?"

She seemed perplexed for a moment, before remembering the book held open by her other hand. "Oh! It is a novel I found in a thrift shop run by Polarian immigrants. It takes me some time to read English, but I am getting better."

Emanuel gingerly lifted one side of the book and glanced at the cover. "Pitch of Ice by Mikhail Uren? I'm fairly well-read, but I can't say I'm familiar with him. I'm guessing it's about a Polarian footballer?"

"Good guess! It is actually an au-autobiography, I believe the word is. Uren spent many years playing in the lower levels of the Polarian amateur system. I like the book because I can relate to it; I love football, but it is not so easy to get onto a real team when so many others do."

He chuckled and slid his arm around her shoulders. She flinched back initially, but his suave charms calmed her down. "I actually had the opposite problem. Almost nobody in my homeland plays soccer; in fact, it's illegal to."

That thought quickly took her mind off his advance. "Illegal?You mean... against the law? To play a game?"

"It's hard to believe, I know." As he talked her up, his hand stealthily slid downward. "The government says football--or soccer, as they call it--is too simplistic and simultaneously dangerous for children. It isn't challenging them mentally while many kids break their ankles and tear their tendons." His hand expertly snaked into her open purse partly hanging off her opposite shoulder, partly resting on the stool at her side. "I, personally, think it is part of the war on the poor. The big businesses are allowed to do anything they want short of tearing up the environment, while the poor working class gets nothing. Wages are pitiful, hours are long and dangerous, and can they have fun in their down time? Apparently not. Baseball and Gridiron Football equipment costs far too much for them to afford, and basketball just isn't that popular. The only sport they really have left is football; after all, all you need is a ball. But what happens when they organize a game with some of their buddies? The police swing in and throw everyone in the slammer." Her wallet met his fingers and was in his backpack in the blink of an eye. "The sentence isn't that long, sure, and there's no increase in penalty for repeat offenders... but they still lose valuable wages, and the principle itself is disgusting."

Her eyes had never left his. An expression of horror had slowly been developing on her pretty face the entire time. "That... is horrible! There really is a country like that?"

"Yes, there is. A fine little land named Karditan. Almost half the population is sentient ponies, to boot."

She gave him a playful shove and turned back to her book. "I knew it. I knew you were... what is the saying? Pulling my leg?"

***______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________***

"I'm not sure," Sweet interrupted, "but I think I should be offended."

"Be offended all you want," Emanuel said while getting up, "I have to use the loo."

by **United Gordonopia** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:31 pm

World Cup 63 Achieves Largest Launch for a Sports Game
Virtual Tournament Live-Stream a Rousing Success

Gordonopia City - Not since Football Gordonopia was released during the days of the old Republic has the gaming nation seen anything

comparable to the success so far of World Cup 63, and even that epic release was soundly thwomped by Gordonopian Games' footballing giant. At one Gordonopia City GAMEout, over 500 gamers were lined up, a few insane ones starting the day before, for the title's midnight release. In fact, the 40,000,000 launch day sales were enough to put World Cup 63 at 7th on the all time day one launches for any game in Gordonopia, falling between Rager II and Nomad.

Thankfully, the reception to the game itself is as far into the atmosphere as the sales. Our own reviewer wanted to say that it was as if the Footballing Gods themselves had forged the disk, though using such idolatry in an official review is of course not allowed. A whopping 14 Gordonopian publications have even given World Cup 63 a perfect score, the most for any sports game in our nation's history.

The international release tonight is expected to drive sales even higher, as a competing title is yet to be released, and the Cronos Elite remains one of the best selling consoles in the world despite its age.

The massive virtual tournament that Gordonopian Games is hosting to coincide with the launch and the real world cup drew millions to its live stream, making it possibly the most-watched in the intranet's young history. Some notable deviations occurred from the real world results, such as when the player in control of the Archregimency, a devoted fan of the team named Panos Spiros who was ranked 48th in the UICA 44 ladder, appeared to do as his team so often professes to desire: lose miserably. Rather than a 3-0 victory, as was the case in the real tournament, Spiros' monks were defeated by a humiliating 9-1 margin to Euskirribakondara.

The Gordonopian side, controlled by Daniel White, ranked 50th in the ladder, managed a slightly better result than real life, with his 4-2 victory edging out the real team's 3-2 away win over Mashiki. His two goals by Jere Tobias matched the real side, although rather than a third from Norm Bates, White scored his third and fourth goals from headers by Matty Paige and Rhode Arthur. Mashiki, represented by Alvo Mainz, strangely scored both of its goals in a mirror from real life: a long set piece from Dilio Menz and a header by Papovski.

by **Birolika** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:37 pm

The Daily Sheep
New campaign, same as ever

Karditan 4–0 Birolika

Birolika once again got off to a poor start with their campaign as Karditan destroyed them four to nothing on away ground and continued in much the same fashion as the previous qualifying campaign. There wasn't any solace to be found in the performance as Karditan walked over them for the length of the game, we didn't even come close to scoring a goal.

The first half was long and close to unbearable, despite the fact that both teams basically consist of criminals the ones from Karditan seem to be able to play football to a decent standard. The biggest problem however for Birolika was the fact that their forward "Lightening Heart" is an angry Buffalo and proceeded to stab Tim Grass with his horns while the ref wasn't looking. The result of this was him staggering off the pitch and being replaced by Roger Hoff, the controversial artist from Mulberry. He ended up on the team after knocking out his friend Bill with a Pogo stick and calling it 'art', he came on and made very little contribution to the game and mostly just stood there imagining what it would be like to be a cat. The first goal came at the hands (or feet) of Mario Cansetta in the 24th minute and the next one followed shortly in 26th minute when Korzado ran circles round the defenders and lightly chipped it over the keeper. The goals let up after that as Karditan's striker and Midfield went over to the touchline for some water while their defence had no problems keeping the Biroliks from putting the ball in the back of the net. Half-time came as a relief and apparently Jane Wass (age 7) burst into tears. Your probably now wondering why a 7 year old is on a team of criminals, well she had a wee on the presidents lawn as she is his daughter and she was playing in the garden and couldn't make it back to the house in time (though it is reported that she is very sorry indeed).

The second half was also an act of avoiding tears for the few Birolik fans left. They watched on in dismay as Karditan pinned us down in our third of the pitch and took shot after shot. The third goal of the game was an own goal: It happened when Hayley Rekkler passed it back, however the keeper James Porter was distracted by a bird he thought he had never seen before (turned out it was a seagull), the ball then trickled into the back of the net to the dismay and very audible groaning of the few Birolik fans. The final goal of the game came from a penalty after Roger Hoff kneeled over and Yasmin Oak used him to trip Sweet Swing over. The penalty was buried by Sweet Swing who decided to get up quickly instead of rolling around like a modern footballer. The game ended with Birolik fans trickling out to the sound of them signing "We're all sneaking off to Dalton." Which they did, however getting out of the underground tunnels was a bit tricky for some and a few had lost their inhibitions to such an extent that they're still lost down there.

Up next we have Krytenia, and while they don't have a history of success they're still good enough to push past the qualifying rounds. I get the feeling that we might be torn apart again, however this time we will have the joy of doing it on home ground meaning the fans might stick around for longer in hope that the rain might ease off by the end of the game.

***

The Shadowman felt uneasy. He had hung about with dodgy people before, but this was a new level. He had met up with a man who named himself only Franz and he was a pony. Not just any pony, he was a leader of a revolutionary ponyist group in Birolika; however he probably wasn't a true ponyist, just one of those authoritarian wannabe-dictators who uses a certain label to propel themselves forward. Like all decent aspiring dictators he had a bad ass beard and a look of cold hatred in his eyes.

"So..." the Shadownman started "hasn't ponyism kinda gone out of fashion?"

"Friendship is magic and no change in popularity will change that" said Franz in a cold voice that rendered the sentence ironic.

"Well, what deal are you proposing to me?"

"Simple, you help us organise a revolution and I pay you and make you powerful."

"Well that sounds like a good deal to me, but what will stop you breaking that deal? I mean how am I to trust you."

"You have to trust me as you have no other choice. You have no money, you have no friends and you have no future without us. You do realise that Ponyism is all about generosity and loyalty, so you remain loyal and we will be generous."

"OK, fine. I'll do it then. What was it exactly that you wanted me to do?"

"I need you to set up a bomb somewhere public, we'll blame it on a far right group which will swing the public to the left. Technically with our system of social security coming under generosity we are left and the public will swing to us."

"OK, I'll see you next week when I'm done."

"Good, then we will pay you."

That was of course the only reason he was doing this, he didn't really have a political ideology. He just needed money, then he might leave the country and live somewhere that wasn't so damp and unbearable.

by **Socialist States Owen** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:52 pm

SUPERB THOMPSON GUIDES FSSO THROUGH NEWMANISTAN SCARE
Captain leads the way as FSSO look shaky in first game
Clint Covey reports from Bastion Arena

FSSO - 3
Stevenson 37
Thompson 41
Needle 82

NEWMANISTAN - 2
Bennett 9
Lassiter 64

Newmanistan were unable to escape Bastion with a point as the FSSO came away with an unconvincing win ahead of their key game against Saugeais; the winning goal was Sam Needle's 100th for his country. Lee Sharp also picked up his 200th international cap.

As early as the third minute Newmanistan showed they were up the fight when Phillip Tessier crunched Lee Sharp with a dangerous tackle; somehow he escaped punishment after a lengthy scuffle following the challenge. The away side then took a shock lead when Avery Rosenblatt's long ball found Tyler Bennett, who chested the ball down and curled it around the oncoming Julesk Paranaya from 25 yards into the corner, beyond the reach of Daniel Belgrave. Newmanistan were generally impressive in the first half but after the first twenty minutes the FSSO woke up and began to take control before taking the lead with two goals before half time, thanks to the dominant midfield presence of captain Steve Thompson. In the 37th minute he fooled Rosenblatt with a clever turn on his heel before playing in Stevenson on the left with a wonderful low ball. Stevenson then cut inside the right back and fired the ball into the top right hand corner with his left foot. Thompson then gave the side he has captained for ten years the lead, knocking down a centred ball from James McCroft and blasting it into the top right hand corner from 25 yards.

In the second half chances were few and far between as both sides cancelled each other out until Newmanistan equalised in the 64th minute thanks to a bullet header from a corner via Jeff Lassiter's head. After the goal Newmanistan parked the proverbial bus, clearly seeking a hard fought point, but in hindsight they should have kept going forward as the FSSO took control of the game. Sam Needle and Lee Sharp both went close from range and Paranaya headed wide from a corner before Needle got what would prove to be the winner in the 82nd minute. Played through on goal by Tom Riley's inch perfect pass, he drifted past a retreating Lassiter and thumped the ball past the keeper with his left foot from an angle. Needle celebrated wildly in the corner as this was his 100th international goal - he is only the second Euran player to achieve this feat. The FSSO could of (and should of) had a fourth before the game ended, but substitute Mickey Smith blazed over from 5 yards after meeting a Stevenson cross on the volley. Although the FSSO will be glad to take three points from what proved to be a tough fixture, the performance was far from convincing and they will have to improve if they are to win in their next game at Saugeais. Meanwhile, Lee Sharp picked up his 200th international cap in this match, with a remarkable 148 goals in those 200 appearances.

ANALYSIS

Player Ratings

EURA

1. D Belgrave - 6/10
2. N Feeney - 5/10
5. M Robertson - 6/10
4. J Paranaya - 7/10
3. JA Pizza - 6/10 (Smith - 62)
7. J McCroft - 7/10
6. T Riley - 7/10 YC
8. S Thompson - 9/10
11. J Stevenson - 8/10 YC
10. L Sharp - 7/10 (Oslograd - 85)
9. S Needle - 8/10

Substitutes

13. S Neeson
15. M Humphrey
23. M Smith - 5/10
16. K Kane
20. S Marshall
14. S Xavier
17. S Oslograd - 6/10YC

MoM: Steve Thompson (Eura)
Attendance: 96,740

Possession
EUR - 58 % 42 - NEW
Shots
EUR - 12 7 - NEW
On Target
EUR - 5 4 - NEW
Corners
EUR - 6 3 - NEW
Fouls
EUR - 13 13 - NEW

by **Farfadillis** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:15 pm

Tuzzio sat there. At a pub. An Apoxian pub. Why the hell was he there, anyways? It all seemed a tad confusing. He didn't remember much, he started to lose his balance, he saw everything blurry. Was it the seven beers? Nah, it couldn't be. He drank another one.

Soon, he found himself surrounded by people, all new to him. He was at another party now. All confusing. But the most interesting thing happened when he saw Apox's famous striker: Dravid Scott. The friendly's incident was still fresh in everyone's mind, obviously n Tuzzio's as well. As soon as they saw each other, Scott looked at him with dislike. His eyes looked like burning or something. He barely remember what they had said to each other. Though that might've had something to do with the amount of alcohol he had consumed by then. As soon as he saw him, he couldn't think of a better idea than go and greet him with a "Wazzup Apoxian scum?". Oh boy, was that a wrong move.

Scott reacted quickly, he punched him directly in the face. Before Tuzzio could recover, he got another punch in the belly. He then threw out a comment about "You're good at punching, why can't you be good at football?", which was received with a kick in the face. He fell to the floor, but just when Scott was going to step on his face, he grabbed him and threw him to the floor, as he started laughing in his face. But Dravid got up and the fight continued. However, it was quickly stopped by the police that had stopped to... uhm... check what could be going on at the pub. Yeah, that, not that they were getting drunk or anything. Soon, they started shooting around, with some victims in the way. Luckily, all the shots that the obviously not drunk policemen shot at them, even if... extremely accurrate thanks to the eye-to-hand coordination they had by not drinking alcohol, missed, by a lot. They soon got out of there, running for their lives. He then pissed himself and as if it was magic, he now wasn't drunk. He started hearing bombs, helicopters fucking bombarding the pub, with people in it.

He got as far as he could and sat to rest, he looked at Scott and asked "Peace?". "Peace.", Scott replied. They then continued to watch the pub being bombarded by the overreacting and obviously not drunk Apoxian air force or whatever shit that helicopter was. It was spectacular, if it wasn't for the many innocent people dying and the thought he had about how the media will exaggerate everything and how a Farf-Apoxian war could start because of it.

by **Wight** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:16 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:18 pm

Bulls Plot to Take Terns
"Terns make awkward and wildly inadequate matadors" :- Audioslavia manager Israel Klimt

By Sue Dysos

Many football fans around the nation were disappointed when israel Klimt was given the reigns at Audioslavia's biggest, and worst, job. Many wIsrael Klimt hasn't put a foot wrong since taking up 'the impossible job' in the summer. Some were won over by the enigmatic figure of Doc Lagace, others preferred the link with experienced Astograthian Domeka Iriarte, whilst others just wanted the FFA to hand over as much money to Andre-Luis Partico as possible in a bid to make the departing manager stay. There were some fans clamouring for the manager of amateur league champions Izotz Zubia - one Ruy Saibatzea - to be manager. Some expected the FFA to hand the reigns to a foreign club boss. Nobody had expected Israel Klimt to be the one in the chair.

In fairness to Klimt, he hasn't put a single foot wrong so far.

It all started with a caustic put-down of journalistic mainstay Jeremy Jaffacake, one enjoyed by an Audioslavian populace who enjoy it when their national 'heroes' are bought down a peg or two. A popular team selection - i.e., most of the guys Partico had picked - for the first game against Nethertopia and the resulting victory - and an away victory to boot - has put the fans and players firmly on his side.

And all in good time, too.

The faces of the FFA were long and grey at the draw, back in the spring, as they learned the Bulls would be playing their strongest opponents on matchday two, probably only a matter of days after a traditional slow Audioslavian start to a World Cup Qualifying campaign. As it terns out, the match may be coming at exactly the right time for the home side. While Audioslavia were breaking a long tradition of choking on matchday one, thePolarians were contriving to lose at home to the unfancied Fewmist, in a match described by most onlookers as a 'desperate' and 'clueless' Polarian performance.

"The Terns will still be in shock, come Wednesday" asserted a confident David Radic, Israel Klimt's right-hand man,"I've no doubt that if our boys come into the game believing they can win it, then victory will be in our hands"

Manager Klimt played his cards closer to his chest.

"Every top international side makes mistakes, now and then, and the Fewmist debacle was a balls-up of epic proportions. They will be bounce back as strongly as they ever have, on Wednesday,, and I expect a good game."

It may not be a classic, exactly, even if Audioslavia do managed to sneak a win. Both sides are renowned for playing cautiously, not taking unnecessary risks and grinding opponents down, and although neither side is without its share of skilful individuals, fireworks aren't expected at the 1927 stadium tonight. In truth, most Audioslavians would be overjoyed to scrape a 0-0 draw. The Polarians, of course, can't allow that to happen. One point from two games is a long, long way off their targets, and manager Joachin Schwartz's position would start to feel uncomfortably Audioslavian if that were to happen.

by **Darmen** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:29 pm

Darmen falls in opening match of World Cup Qualifying
Is Timothy O'Donahaue's job at stake?

In the opening match of the qualification campaign, the All Greens were dominated in possession by a Powersith squad which replaced the team from Silar after the Darmeni Soccer Federation released information that that nation had previously competed in a Baptism of Fire. Now fans of the All Greens are outraged at the DSF, believing that had the DSF not released the information, the loss would never have happened.

"We felt it was our duty," said DSF Historian Robert Moltoun, "to at the very least expose the double participation of the Silarian team in the Baptism of Fire. We felt that allowing the Silarians to take responsibility for their own problem was better than lodging a formal complaint with the WCC. All in all, I think it was the right thing to do."

DSF President, Georges Thomas, agreed with Moltoun. "We didn't really want to embarrass the Silarian's, and we felt that letting them take care of the whole situation, rather than lodging a complaint and having to go through all that bureaucracy to get things changed, was the best plan of action."

Patrick Monroe scored both goals for Powersith, in the 15th and 87 minutes, as the All Greens' defensive three struggled to play well. Possession was also dominated by Powersith, with the midfield being controlled by the Powersith pair of Leonardo Martinex and Retenov Mislo.

"For some odd reason, they just had us, all... scrambled up. We didn't know what we were doing," commented Tor Tong Lee, in a short post match press conference. "We've got to get this turned around for our next match with Pacificius. We just can't afford to not qualify for the World Cup this time around."

Meanwhile, rumors have been flying around the nation that the All Green's first long term Manager, Timothy O'Donahaue, has been given an ultimatum by DSF President Georges Thomas, to at least finish second in the All Green's Qualification Group, and at least contend in a playoff matchup. While Thomas has denied that he gave O'Donahaue an ultimatum, he did say the following. "Now is the time to win. And if that doesn't happen, some major changes will need to be made."

Duke Francisco Lyons the XIXth suffers massive stroke
House of Magistrates to vote on Saturday about possibility of removing Duke from the Throne

Duke Francisco Lyons the XIXth, who began his reign over Darmen in 1953, at the age of only fourteen, suffered a massive stroke last night. It is reported that the stroke may have been a result of the Darmeni Football Team's loss to Powersith in World Cup Qualification, and that the stroke apparently occured as the Duke was leaving the famous Goth Fisch¹ restaurant in Liverpool, and returning to his Palace in Scott City.

The Duke was addmitted into St. Andrew's Hospital in the nearby town of Moneghetti at One AM, and was initially listed as being in critical condition. Although his situation has stabilized quite substantially, doctors are still worried for him, and have delayed plans to move him to the much more capable hospital in Liverpool itself.

The 74 year old Duke was considered to be in fine health before the stroke, and he looked it to. The Duke on Monday rung in the New Year in Scott City, giving a short speech before a fire works display. The Duke spent the New Year with his son, Cardinal Francisco Lyons the XXth, in Tempala, before making the trip to Liverpool to watch the opening match of the All Green's World Cup Qualification campaign with local fans.

While the Duke's health is still in question, the House of Magistrates, believing that the stroke which the Duke has suffered may render him uncapable of leading the nation, will meet on Saturday to discuss, and possibly vote on, removing the Duke from office. No Duke has ever been removed from the Throne by the House of Magistrates, and 82 seat branch of the Legislature of Darmen. Should the Duke be removed, his son, Cardinal Lyons, would seccede him, while Cardinal Lyons' son, Lyons the XXIst, currently a midfielder for the All Green's would be forced into service with the Military, or becoming a Priest within the Holy Forden Church.

¹Legonian for Good Fish

by **Kiryu-shi** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:43 pm

Dear Mother,

I’m writing from Conclespia! And we won! I’m sure that you already know this already, but it’s still extremely difficult to believe that I’m actually here. I know that you worry about me still, and I know that you have good reason to worry, but I promise you that things are going well here. I’m keeping completely clean, and my responsibilities with the team mean I’m busy basically twenty four hours a day. With a limited staff, even when we’re not going through preparations for matches, I have to manage a lot of the logistics of traveling and keeping the team focused. It’s pretty fascinating - I know that I swore against studying psychology, but there are clear and interesting correlations between the performance of the players their mental state. Which looks obvious when I write it down, but it’s noteworthy, I think. These players do not perform at 100% capacity no matter what; people are really such delicate machines.

Did you know that four years ago, over two games, we kept Conclespia scoreless? We had a disappointing nil-nil draw during the first match of qualifications last time around, but then had a dominating two goal shut out victory at Conclespia. And this year we are supposed to have a much better defense - and from what I’ve seen during training, it certainly appears stronger than what I saw last year. And yes, mother, I know that you don’t particularly care for football but please forgive me - since I’m not allowed to blog anymore. So, it doesn’t make sense that we allowed two first half goals against this team! It’s clear that they’ve improved over the past four years, but Sandy Steamroller getting free behind our back line twice in such a short amount of time was inconceivable. Coach Erickson thinks it has to do with the fact that this was the first match for this team as a group, and that Megumi, our keeper, wasn’t able to properly control the defenders.

Regardless, it made for an exciting second half of play. I’m sure you saw, but did you notice the ways in which we were able to pick apart the Conclespia defenders? That was my strategy! I was the one who put d'Arányi in position to score the first two goals! I mean, granted, I couldn’t have predicted that she would’ve been able to beat Thomas Equitar so convincingly the first time. I truly didn’t think that he would have gotten into position to defend her in the first place, but she was able to make me look good! Or, perhaps it’s the other way around. Either way, it was incredible to see the way the players fell into position, and the way that the goals were created just as I planned! The third goal, I concede, was a lot more lucky, and if it were any player but d'Erdélyi who attempted a shot from that distance, there was no way it would’ve gone in. But sometimes I just have to be able to rely on the physical abilities of these athletes. It’s not all about being in the right place at the right time to create numerical advantages against defenders - sometimes the skill of our players can overcome a sloppy approach or a broken down formation. Which again, looks so obvious written down…

I’m hoping that Coach Erickson isn’t too disappointed with the start, though. He’s already planning his strategy for our next match back in Sakaino against Savski Venac, another AO based team. I know that he trusts me, but I’m worried that he’s not letting me help as much as I think I can. The whole world doesn’t think that I’m qualified enough to be an assistant coach, and I know that I’m not the ideal candidate. But I have a lot I can bring to the table, and I just wish that he was a little bit more open with me.

I hope that you are doing well, mother. I miss home, and I hope that you’ll be able to attend one of our matches at home before the World Cup Qualification schedule ends. I know that you’re busy at Umeda University, but it would be amazing if I saw you in the crowd one day! I don’t think that I’ll be able to come visit you until after qualifications are over. Especially considering that part of my responsibilities is to make sure that the team is following the prescribed sleeping regiment at all times…

Anyway, I’ll try to make sure to make time to write to you every week. I love you, and I promise that I’ve been staying healthy. How are you? How is your research going? You’re going to be my only outlet for academia over the next few months, I expect to know everything there is to know about the reproductive habits of antisocial jellyfish by the time I see you next.

Love,

Kayla

by **Falconwhereveryouare** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:49 pm

The Eagle's Eye
Falcus' #1 Newspaper!
SPORTS
Stuck in a Mire

By Otis Brimingham

It looks like Group 8 is going to be one hell of a ride. Twenty-two goals scored in the five matches on opening day. The Falcons didn't quite start off on the right foot, drawing with one of the projected group bottomfeeders, but one point is always better than no points. Especially on opening day--when teams are a little rusty in terms of international competition, it's easy to blow it. The Avatarian team, for example, somehow only managed a squeaker 3-2 win over another unknown team, from Vivedin. The kids from Backyard Sports surprised Torisakia and nailed them to the wall, 4-2. Sasvki Venak managed to hold the girls of High Heels to a draw, two goals apiece. Apparently their Gurrrrrlpower wasn't quite enough. Finally (these ten-team groups are going to kill me), Kiryu-shi recorded an expected win over Concelpsia; but they had some trouble with the uprising ponyists.

Our match with Mirelesin was actually the lowest-scoring one of the group, a simple 1-1 draw. Scoring was opened early when the Mirish striker strode past the internationally-inexperienced Joaquin Pelletier and chipped one over Somer Lann. The game slowed down afterwards, as if trapped in a bog. The Mirish players spent a lot of time passing in the midfield, and so did we. Halftime came with the score still 1-0 and no promise of any coming excitement. The second half didn't start all too well, either. Pelletier tried to liven up the game a little bit but ended up getting red carded for a poorly executed slide tackle on a Mirish midfielder. It did seem to rouse the Falconian players a bit, perhaps realizing that now a man down, they'd really need to get it together to salvage anything from this match. Art Jarrel was in the right place at the right time when Kouzmanoff punted a clearance with only a few minutes left; he spun a textbook bicycle kick to give the ball the extra "umph" and direction needed to beat the Mirish keeper and tie up the score. The Mirish manager was up in arms after the call, claiming Jarrel had been offsides. The referee upheld the decision, and later video review showed Jarrel was directly in line with the Mirish defender, not a centimeter too far upfield. The match stagnated for the last few minutes, the Falcons apparently not wanting to risk giving up a counter-attack whistle-beating goal.

Falconwhereveryouare - 1
Joaquin Pelletier, 52'
Art Jarrel, 84'
Mirelesin - 1
[Striker], 9'

by **Mesoland** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:00 pm

MBC Sports News
Coverage of the LXIII World Cup in Aguazul and Turori

BLUEBIRDS PIPPED BY CLASSY AKBARABAD

Mesoland 2
Nukaba 26, Bulu 89

Akbarabad 4
Unknown 43, Unknown 56 (pen), Unknown 90, 90+3

Mesoland were unlucky not to take anything away from last night's home flaying at the hands of Akbarabad, with two late Akbarabadian goals making what was a very evenly balanced game seem a whole lot more one-sided. An early strike from wonder-forward Beritata Nukaba gave the blues a deserved lead, however a well struck effort from outside the box pulled Akbarabad level just before half time. Pacy Arkham County youngster Wilfried Natasu made lots of runs in from the back line during the first half and played plenty of clever balls into Vava and Nukaba to worry the Akbarabadian defence, however Vava's lacklustre shooting saw him replaced at half time for 22 year old Zirka Bulu, who helped 1892 Tabarak Blues to Premier League success just two years ago.

Mesoland and Akbarabad both rushed out of the blocks following the break, each side fired up and eager to break the deadlock imposed on them. A fiery start to the second half saw three Meso players and two Akbarabadian players booked within eleven minutes of the break, Natasu, François and Schmitt all receiving yellow cards for a succession of poor challenges across the field of play. Seconds after the free kick for Schmitt's wild challenge was taken, however, Litaka Balotelli was seen to have deliberately grounded an Akbarabadian winger in the box off the ball and despite receiving just a minor ticking off, he had also handed Akbarabad a free shot on goal in the name of a penalty.

Akazambaa managed to clip the ball with his fingertips at full stretch, however the Akbarabadian striker's penalty was hit low and hard into the bottom right hand corner, well out of reach of the Meso keeper's enormous palms. The bluebirds dug deep following Akbarabad's second goal, and Balotelli being subbed off for the often controversially poor centre mid Darron Miaku actually made all the difference. With just five minutes of normal time left to play, Miaku brought speed and vision to the tiring squad, and ended up looping an arching through ball over the Akbarabad defence for the lightning fast Bulu to latch onto and drill home to level the score with just one minute remaining.

Akbarabad hit back just a minute later, their striker converting a poorly struck free-kick from 30yds out thanks to a fortuitous deflection off the thigh of one of his team mates. As Meso fans began to stream out of the 71,456 seater stadium, a fourth and final Akbarabad goal was scored to conclude the match, and Akbarabad walked out as 2-4 victors to cap off what was certainly an extremely entertaining night of football.

Following the match, Meso skipper Ikarba Nazakofye criticised his team-mates for 'resting on their laurels' and being 'too laid back after equalising', claiming that it was their 'attitude' and 'not their performance' which cost them the three points, and that he was 'disappointed' with the result but was aiming to take 'all the positives possible' from the game.

Mesoland next face lowly Ryadha at home, and are easily the favourites to walk out with the points this coming Friday.

All World Cup and CoH news and results can be found on the MBC website, http://www.mesolandbc.mz, under the sports section. Article by Jonjo Tikali.

by **19th Century Beards** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:15 pm

2am, two days before 19th Century Beards' first home game. The three bedded room was filled with peacefully sleeping people, all apart from one. Blake Martin was sitting at a computer, looking through files and ticking a box on a sheet, occasionally taking a sip of coffee to keep him awake. After another couple of minutes of clicking and ticking, he decided to take a quick break. He put his laptop on sleep mode, closed the lid and sat back, enjoying the sound of silence.

A minute later, Blake had finished his coffee. He'd went through the mug of coffee within 10 minutes. That was the 6th cup of coffee since 12:30. And it wasn't weak coffee either, it was strong stuff, one of the strongest on the shelves. Yet he was somehow still tired. He got up and filled the kettle with warm water and turned it on. He'd only finished a quarter of his work, there was a hell of a lot more to go yet. The hiss of the kettle filled the once totally silent room. Blake was worried it might wake someone up.

The kettle was going to be quite a while, as usual for something made in 19th Century Beards. It was a surprise that it actually worked more than once. Blake turned his attention back to his laptop, lifting the lid and turning it back on again. He clicked on the internet icon and typed "news.ncb" into the search bar. He didn't really like the whole of 19th Century Beards having just one news outlet, which had a newspaper, a website and was the sole news provider for 19th Century Beards Broadcasting Corparation, but the last time they had more than one newspaper, they almost all went bust, so the goverment decided, quite wisely in most people's opinion, decided to roll them into one government controlled company. The site came up and Blake scrolled down the rather plain looking site to the sports section. He clicked on the headline titled: Cosumar 1-0 19th Century Beards and began to read the article.

Cosumar 1-0 19th Century Beards
Beards defeated despite good show against higher ranked opposition

19th Century Beards fought a good fight away to 42nd ranked Cosumar, with a game that was much closer than most would have expected. In the end the Cosumar team were probably deserved winners, having more possession and shots on target, as it seemed the 19th Century Beards team struggled with the downpour that featured throughout the second half.

In a full stadium, the Beards clearly wanted to prove the pre-match predictions wrong as they flew out of the starting box, producing two good saves from the Cosumari goalkeeper within the first four minutes. The unnamed team appeared to recover from their slow start rather quickly, Mattie Burke could only watch as their striker unleashed a fierce shot that cannoned back off the crossbar. There was another close shave for Cosumar as Jack Young's low drive was just inches wide of the post. The best chance came near the end of the half, a Cosumari midfielder's effort cleared off the line by Paul Milne.

The heavens opened just after the start of the second half, as did 19th Century Beards' downfall. Despite having the first real chance of the half, a header going just over the crossbar, the team became slow and sluggish as the pitch got harder to pass along. This helped Cosumar's passing style as they decided they decided to boot it through the air instead of along the ground lie the style of 19th Century Beards. Cosumar's winner came after a long spell of domination and a few long shots, but in the end it was a header by the tall Cosumari centre back that won it for them on the 72nd minute.

Blake had been muttering parts of the article to himself while reading. Clearly it had disturbed someone when after the kettle went off.

"Blake? Is that you?" a silhouette from the floor said quietly.
"Yes James, what do you want?" Blake replied.
"Nothing, just checking it was you" James said as he shuffled over to the computer, "What are you doing?"
"Work. Everyone else gets a month off while I stay up til 2 o'clock every night sorting out people's pay. Bloody annoying."
"What does this involve you doing?"
"Looking at that person's pay, checking it to see whether he's not getting payed more or less than he should, then just tick a box on one of these papers."
"Sounds boring."
"It is. Mind numbingly so."
"What's in that file?" James pointed to a file icon with a lock on it, which was untitled
"Not too sure. Probably the high ranking ministers pay, the president's pay is probably in there too."
"Let's try it, see what we get."
"No, we can't. Password protected and I don't know it."
"We could guess. Try 'password'" Blake double clicked on the file and typed it in.
"Nope, wrong password. Besides it's not going to be that obvious."
"You'd be surprised. Try password1."
"That won't work. Too obvious."
"That's what they want you to think. Go on try it." Blake typed in 'password1' into the box and pressed enter. To his surprise, it worked
"See", James said smugly, a smirk on his face, "try one of the files"
"I'll do that tomorrow, I need some sleep now anyway."
"Okay then. Night."
"Night."

Blake shuffled over to his bed, flopped onto it, and fell asleep immediately.

by **The Pazhujeb Islands** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:00 pm

OOC: This RP continues the storyline from these two posts in the WC62 RP thread: please read them to understand the whole narrative (if that's even possible, haha)!

Chapter One
Chapter Two

You've never been half a breath from asphyxiation on black garbage bag plastic, and I know it. I know it because once you have, you breath differently. You appreciate the freedom of open space as your face pulls into it. It might as well be a vacuum, it's so open. (Though of course a vacuum would do you about as much good as the plastic from a garbage bag, oxygen-wise.)

The Granola Hag's lost it, gone batshit if she wasn't long ago; she's checked out of the Sanity Inn, thank you very much. Nope, she'll never stay at a hotel chain controlled by the Hilton family again, thank you very much... not until that Hispanic lady from room service apologizes for barging in at 3 AM. Look at her, she's screaming the words to a Blondie song in iambic pentameter at the top of her lungs as she hurtles down one of San Francisco's classic hills, riding the back wheels of her probably stolen shopping cart.

Her cargo might as well be congealed moose placenta at this point, as it's more or less organic matter but the trauma of the ride has rendered it pretty much liquefied. And I'm pissed, in fact I can't stress enough how pissed I am, because her cargo is me and Nathan. And this rock polisher of a ride is going to leave me with bruises the color of eggplant, which I don't care for. Eggplant, that is.

"HERE WE ARE."

You can put that blowhorn away, thank you very much. I could go for a conversation that doesn't pierce my eardrums. But I didn't hear that come out of my own mouth - either I didn't say it or my eardrums are already pieced - you know, thanks to the shopping cart ride.

Nope, I can hear. Because next thing I know Nathan's voice registers to my left, totally blowhorn free, which let me just clarify is a legitimate form of conversation for sure.

"Where are we, lady?"

"WHAT?"

"I said where are we, lady?"

"I TOLD YOU, I HAVE A NAME. IT'S MAGGIE. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO BE TURNED INTO A CHICKEN. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"

"Not after what I saw you do to that one back at the aquarium, no thanks," says Nathan defiantly, petulantly. He's as pissed as me.

"SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KILL A CHICKEN, ALL RIGHT? FUCKING NOBODY REMEMBERS TO DO IT ANYMORE. AND WHEN THEY DO THEY USUALLY DO IT WITH AN ATTITUDE, WHICH I DON'T APPRECIATE."

Well, by gosh by golly, I'm sorry to hear that, Granola Hag.

"Nathan asked you where we are."

"The Marina."

Hold the presses, she put the blowhorn down and gave us a non-riddle answer. I could kiss her, but I don't think I'd make it close to her skin without passing out from excessive patchouli inhalation. Plus 'I could kiss' is an expression that often does not imply an actual desire to kiss somebody, which is important to be aware of in this case because that's precisely how I'm using the phrase at the moment. I don't want to kiss her, but I am grateful that she put that damn thing away. That's all I'm trying to say.

"Why are we in the Marina?" I say in a nauseated daze as I raise my head away from my black plastic death and look around at my surroundings. The Marina, it is.

"We're going to a party."

"Why are we doing that?"

"It's not a party, really... it's billed as a party but that's just a pretense for its real purpose."

"So if it's not a party, what is it, a gang rape or something?"

The Granola Hag, who I guess also goes by Maggie, lifts her maroon-cape-sleeved arm into the night sky with shameless theatricality. Her eyes lift up, looking for a deity in the barely-visible stars.

"There are times, children, when the spirits of darkness sing like sirens out into the realms of the living. Their voices, atonal, rip holes here and there, and these holes become portals through which thoughts, words, gestures, and emotions leak. We must make sense of the mess. We must repair the damage. And we must cast back into the void those black-hearted spirits."

"I don't understand," I say, because I'm freaking out at this Tolkien-style lecture.

"Neither do I," Maggie answers, her eyes gentle and sad. "Come on, we're late."

Fuck me for ever being born. Because you know what hurts worse than walking right now? Probably childbirth. Maybe a torture scene from a Tarantino movie. But other than that? Nothing. Nothing hurts worse than walking right now.

Nathan looks to be in the same shape as his feet hit the pavement. I watch him glance around, looking for a street sign. But somehow I just know that's irrelevant, because the Granola Hag's in control. If she wasn't in control, we never would have climbed into this godforsaken shopping cart in the first place.

Guess what? I'm right. Without any willingness on my part, my feet set themselves, one before the other, in a path that trails Maggie. She leads us half a block past a bunch of rowdy Asian people, and then we're looking at the longest line for a club you've ever seen.

Yes, indeed, fans of Rihanna, Ke$ha, and Britney Spears, this is the place for you. The Granola Hag even notices the music pounding through the stealthily curtained windows of the place, because she winces like she's just seen a rat killed by an eagle.

"Til I Hurl Pens? I thought this song had been banned for being too stupid."

"That's not the name of this song, Maggie-"

"Oh really? Must have got it confused with that one they were playing back in the Pazhujeb Islands."

"So if you don't like the music, why are we going to a party here?"

"Oh, the party's not here. The bouncers got the address." And then she's off, shifting through the ranks of scantily-clad California blondes who harbor dreams of being strippers and optimistic bros who threw on an extra spray of cologne in the hopes that the 25-dollar cover charge would result in some kind of sexual escapade by evening's end.

Bouncer, also known by his street nickname G-Pain, is, Maggie tells us later on, a real piece of work. He's got four teeth, which he explains is a product of growing up in Texas, which all three of us (Maggie, Nathan, and myself, Hannah) find dubious since last I heard they have dentists in Texas. But anyway, after mysterious circumstances leading to him spending his junior and senior year of high school in juvie hall (he may or may not have stabbed somebody, we don't know), he tries to start an under-the-table tattoo parlor, which results in his ultimate excommunication from Houston at age eighteen. So off he goes to the City on the Bay with naive dreams, and five four three two one, he's got some Filipino girl pregnant and needs to make a shitload of cash, sharpish. At that point he starts running strip clubs in North Beach, which is sweet because California's best-kept secret is that SF's strip club industry is thriving. Supposedly he then struck it rich and started managing multiple strip clubs at once, at which point he, and I quote "blew my millions on a bunch of trucks." Maggie's hypothesis, which I have no reason to disagree with, is that he ended up addicted to oxycodone, which makes sense given what I'll be told about the pill bottles in his bedroom during Chapter 4.

So Maggie's talking to G-Pain. Trying to get the GPS coordinates to this fake party. G-Pain's bald, but it looks like he shaved it that way. If I had to guess, I'd say he was a body-builder until about 1996, when he gave that up for Chinese food and increased oxycodone intake.

He never makes eye contact with her. Either he thinks she's weird (she is weird) or he knows she's a fucked up magician-type lady (which she also is). Nathan tries to wave and get his attention, as if G-Pain's going to save us. Yeah right, I think as he sips a Red Bull and hands Granola Hag a tiny slip of paper.

The last thing he says to her is unintelligible over the din of the shitty pop music bass thumping all around us. But I swear, I read his lips.

Something like 'tell Tristan he owes me four hundred bucks.'

by **Yesopalitha** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:25 pm

Nirdasil's Corner

Argo Islands 0-1 Yesopalitha

So, after one of the most tumultuous off-seasons in Yesopalithan National Team history... Here the team was, in Argo Islands, a low-ranked team, playing their first game, not knowing who was to be Captain, not knowing who would start, anything like that. Tough luck, eh?

Here's a comment on the eleven players who played for the Flames today:

GK: Terrance Housen

Manager Handel decided to rest Jonah Calhoun and give the backup the first start. Terrance had to block three shots as the defense played particularly well; he looked sharp at the back of the net, something that this team needs in case Jonah has something happen to him.

DEF: Michael Kevin

Kevin was one of the three defenders that dominated the backfield for the Flames, keeping Housen mostly clean. He had some neat tackles that saved the Flames numerous times.

DEF: Naisi Von Helz

Handel decided to start the youngster to keep his hot streak going. He was an amazing lock at the center position.

DEF: Noah Galvin

Handel started all three first-string defenders in the game, and they played all ninety minutes. Galvin completed the Kevin/Von Helz duo and kept the goal clean.

MID: Park Sung Hwan

Park got the starting nod, and gave the team a good showing as he was fantastic with pushing the ball up the field. He had the assist on the game-winning goal by Nadya Dostoevich. He may actually be the answer to who will fill in for Ivan Dostoevich.

MID: Jane Vander Rox (C)

Vander Rox was given the Captaincy over Isaac and Nadya in this game, and she led the Flames to a hard-fought win over a surprising Argo Islands team that refused to fold until late in the game. In one dramatic sequence, she chased an Argo Islands defender all the way back to the Flames' third of the field to prevent a score. Handel will most likely try different players in the Captaincy, but Vander Rox gave herself a decent shot by having a great game.

MID: Jacques Kemp

Kemp was told to take over HVR's old spot, as the point man on the Flames' attack/defense. He had a hard time the first half, but settled in and led the attack that scored the game-winning goal. He deserves another shot.

MID: Clarence Patterson

As Isaac Jack-Bentley was nursing a sore knee, Patterson got the nod. He had a rough game early, but settled in like Jacques, and helped the team secure the win late.

MID: Jared Mullin

Mullin was an interesting call to start this game. He wasn't spectacular, but he wasn't that bad. Not sure if he'll get the call next game.

FOR: Nadya Dostoevich

She might not be the Captain now, but she isn't getting any older. Her header was the difference in the game, overall. So fast, so so very fast...

FOR: Victoria Hellion

Created some scoring opportunities that kept Argo Islands honest. Not bad, not great.

Next, the Flames will try to play the Blouman Empire hard.

by **Blouman Empire** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:31 pm

THE EMPIRE TIMES

EAGLES RECOVER TO CRUSH PAZHUJEB

Captain Baden Lakes led from the front scoring two goals starting the Blouman's qualifying campaign with a crushing 5-1 win against The Pazhujeb Islands at Therakham Velodrama. The Eagles fell behind early in the game thanks to a swift counter attack allowing Padorin Sharivker to score on the 25th minute. The strong attack continued with the attack with the Purple Sea Urchins forcing the Eagle's defence to work hard and it looked set to make it a double in first half stoppage time, however, a loose header by Jhepi'vedhessi Chellappan saw the ball go well over the crossbar.

The Eagles responded strong in the second half with a stellar performance to show that the two teams weren't evenly matched and that there was a large gulf between the quality of the two sides. Lakes scoring two along with Robert Schmitz and George Cardol scoring a goal each simply overwhelmed Maksim Astafyev's side. Lakes opened the scoring sixty seconds in the second half with a powerful shot finding the the bottom left corner. A further two goals in as many minutes in the middle of the half sealed victory for the team with Lakes scoring in the 80th minute with a header into the near post giving the team a three goal lead they wouldn't relinquish.

The win puts the team on the front foot with new manager Sir Nathan Kolson pleased to have won his first game since taking control. The team will next be playing Yesopalitha in front of a home crowd a game Sir Nathan is looking forward to. "The game against the top seed in the group will show how we perform in this group, a win will prove we are ready to qualify a loss will show how much work the team has to go". Yesopalitha are favourites to top the group and the Eagles will be looking at putting their best squad out to tackle the superior team.

by **Jeruselem** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:43 pm

Jeruselem Government News

50 Shades of Pink on sale

An adult novel written by Princess Sofia Michelle Dallas went on sale today. The retired World cup player and coach wrote the book because she got bored between writing a new album.

The book is about the kinky nightlife of single mum not unlike the author itself.

Sofia said "This isn't a biography by any means. But the main character in the book is based on people in my family. I feel women out there can relate to this girl and they'd buy my book. I'm not saying her lifestyle is ideal, far from it. There's a bit of me in this book."

Moral conservatives condemned the publication saying it was pr0n but female book reviewers said it was fiction which could easily be truth and highlighted the life choices of single mums in Jeruselem.

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:50 pm

The Northerner
Executioners with a disappointing start
Cerberus Bruneau
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec executed themselves in what was a disappointing play against West Guiana last night in front of 47,500 crowds in St.Croix Stadium. The First half was full of scorings against us, as they were both unable to take the ball from the West Guineans or managed to extend themselves into goals when they were in possession. By the Halftime, they were trailing 4-1 and the mostly-Quebecois crowd booed against the players. the Coach Matt the I love to drink and drive while humping in moddle of a superhighway immediately ordered them to block the Guineans with the physicality that they have.
At the Second Half of the match, the Quebecois managed to improve their performance, scoring a goal on the 50th minute with a classy, 45-metre bicycle kick by Lorne the lazy old man. And the match was mostly the both sides trying to take the ball from one to another. However, the coffin was finally nailed when a West Guinean scored on the 78th minute.

The squad should be ashamed of, playing in such a disappointing way on their home, right in front of countless of Quebecois soul and should find ways to improve themselves as they still have another 17 matches to play.

by **Equestrian States** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:20 pm

The Curse of the Unicorn
Chapter 1: A Dark and Stormy Night…

Deep in the Everfree Forest, a manticore was on the hunt. Obscured by the densely-packed trees it crouched, waiting for its next meal by the side of a seldom-used dirt path. While the beast did not necessarily expect another creature to come down the road, it could be predicted that something edible would soon break from the cover of the dark forest. Even if it was for but a few short seconds, the manticore could move quickly enough that its prey would have no time to escape back into the safety of the trees.

Then, from around a bend in the road, a cloaked figure appeared. A predatory grin wormed its way onto the face of the manticore as it prepared to leap upon its unsuspecting victim. As the beast’s prey drew closer, the manticore could hear the distinct rhythm of a pony’s hooves upon the path’s muddy surface. Finally, the moment was right and the manticore sprung from its cover into the open air, extending its claws and baring its teeth. But the lethal blows never found their target, the manticore landing awkwardly on the path instead of the pony. Turning quickly, the manticore sought to find its prey once more, but instead was met by the sight of a glowing horn. The beast saw a flash, then was sent hurtling through the air before its back connected with the sharp limb of a tree. A piercing pain shot up the manticore’s back before it felt nothing.

Normally, defeating such a monstrous creature would have brought considerable pleasure to the unicorn whose horn had produced the lethal blast, but he was in no mood to celebrate anything. He passed the corpse of the beast that had sought to make him its meal without a second glance, only concerned with reaching his destination without further delay. Then, after several minutes more of walking, a peculiar-looking tree came into view with a dim candle burning on its bark. It was, of course, the unicorn’s small jungle home.

Unicorns have been making homes out of trees for millennia. Burrowing into the wood with magic, they have perfected the art, allowing the trees to survive but not to grow larger after the houses were tunneled inside them. In the Everfree Forest, such a home offered camouflage in addition to shelter. The most deadly predators would rarely look twice at the tree, allowing the unicorn inside to dwell safely without the worry of wildlife intruders after dark.

Once inside his woody house, the unicorn magically yanked the curtains over the windows and lit his candles. By the flickering lights, he trotted over to his expansive bookshelves, scanning them for one in particular. His eyes fixed upon a large, heavy-looking, black volume which he had rarely touched over his many years of living there. Long ago, the book might have been found in a powerful mage’s private collection, but now it was the most valuable possession of a reclusive unicorn. Slowly, the black-cloaked unicorn levitated the book from its place on the shelf, bringing it to rest upon a creaky, often-used desk.

Without hesitation, the unicorn flipped rapidly through the browned pages of the book, scanning for a single chapter. He hadn’t read the ancient book many times, but he knew that if what he searched for was to be found in any of his books, it would be in the one before him. Finally, the unicorn stopped his frenzied flipping, his hoof resting firmly on a page that bore the text he needed.

As he read the words that followed, a chilling grin spread across the unicorn’s face. Quickly memorizing the spell, he shut the book gently and returned it to its place on the shelf. With a quick blast of magic, the candles were put out and the unicorn trotted over to his rickety bed. The last thing he saw before closing his eyes was single slip of paper, on which was written: Admit One; Equestrian States vs. Legokiller; Equestria Dome, Canterlot.

Two Days Later…

The crowd roared with approval, ponies pounding their hooves against the concrete to creating a noise not unlike that of a thundering herd. On the field, Equestrian team captain Fire Dash exchanged a hoof bump with Rainbow Blitz, the younger pegasus grinning like a schoolcolt. The dark red-coated veteran forward had just made one of the finer passes of his career to the rainbow-maned rookie, who then had notched the third goal of his young career. To the fans it was just another sign of the future of Equestrian hoofball. The afternoon skies above the stadium were clear, marred only by a few white clouds from which several pegasi teens were watching the match below.

Meanwhile, Twilight Striker, the head coach of the home team, eyed the scoreboard. There were still a good 35 minutes to be played, but with a five goal lead she was confident that her team would be able to hold on to win. Motioning to Ice Block, a pale blue pegasus defender who hadn’t done too much on the field in his couple years on the team, the coach called for Flitter to come off the field. The Equestrian fans continued to applaud as the lavender pegasus trotted to the bench.
But at least one in the crowd wasn’t enjoying the match. A gray-coated unicorn with a ash-colored mane sat not far from the Equestrian goal, eying the field, waiting for just the right moment. Several minutes later, it came. A long-distance shot from one of the Legokiller forwards was batted aside by a leaping High Soarin’ and over the end line. The two teams lined up for the resulting corner kick. The Legokiller players looked exhausted; their efforts to stem the tide of Equestrian goals had been in vain as the Ponies compiled a comfortable 5-0 lead. His gaze focused squarely on Stronghoof, the unicorn readied his horn.

The ball arced into sight, and three Equestrian players leapt up to head the ball away from a greatly outmatched Legokiller defender. But before any of them could knock it from the front of the goal, the unicorn’s horn blazed briefly with a reddish light, the magical blast obscured by camera flashes all around him. On the field, Stronghoof’s leap was altered slightly in midair, but it was enough to carry his heavy body into the hind legs of Ice Block and Rapid Dash. The two pegasi landed hard on the grass, Stronghoof came down imperfectly, his hooves bending at an odd angle.
The Legokiller forward, not expecting all three of the Equestrians to miss, was unable to spot the ball before it ricocheted off his head in the wrong direction to Andrea Molovi, who then cleared it without difficulty. But the trio that had leapt into the air hadn’t gotten back up; rather, they lay sprawled in front of the goal, unable to get up. A few seconds later, Diamond Star, one of the Equestrian trainers, was there. Puzzled, the referee simply shrugged when asked what had happened. No contact with the Legokiller forward had happened as far as he could tell. It had simply been an accident.

The three injured Equestrians were helped from the field, replaced quickly by several players off the bench. Silenced, the crowd watched as the Ponies failed to score again. Without a doubt, the Equestrians had been the dominant side, but the injuries were all worrying. Two veteran starters gone in one play in the team’s first qualifying match. It wasn’t a good way to start a campaign, at least not in their eyes. But in the eyes of one unicorn, it was an excellent beginning to a long campaign, one designed solely to humiliate and humble the Equestrian team.

Low Expectations
The Realistic Fan Site for Equestrian States Sports

Ponies Lose Three, Win One
By Downtrodden Crankyface

Equestrian States - 5
Fire Dash '7; Cloudchaser '18, '48; Rapid Dash '29; Rainbow Blitz '55

Legokiller - 0
No Scorers

DUMP CALLED "THE EQUESTRIA DOME", CANTERLOT - The Equestrian States lost their match last night. Yes, the scoreboard says they won, but it never tells the whole story.

Two irreplaceable starters are out for an undetermined number of games after injuring themselves by stupidly colliding in midair while going for the same ball. The first, Rapid Dash, sister of the Equestrian captain and one of the team’s leading career scorers, has two fractured bones in her rear left leg which the quacks the Equestrian national team calls doctors have said have proven difficult to help with magical healing aids. The second player, Stonghoof, a mediocre defender on a team with a severe lack of semi-skilled players, has also proven difficult to treat, with similar injuries in both legs. Another player, back-up defender Ice Block, was also injured on that play, but I’d say his loss isn’t that great since he’s been a benchwarmer ever since he set hoof on the national team.

Anyways, as I would have predicted, the Ponies couldn’t do much of anything in the last 30 minutes or so after the injuries occurred. Before then you had a few moments where the team showed some minor hints of average play, but for the most part their showboating was nothing spectacular, and didn’t do them much good. Only rookie forward Rainbow Blitz was somewhat impressive to me. His goal, the last scored by the Equestrians, wasn’t too bad, a display of some competence. Maybe he’ll get lucky and get out of the Equestrian National Hoofball League in favor of any other league where he can at least have some kind of a future.

But I wouldn’t hope too much, since I doubt any decent foreign club will want a player connected to the failure that is the Equestrian States national team. Next up is the Pazhujeb Islands, and without two of their few semi-decent players, I expect the Ponies will be thoroughly beaten by a resurgent team eager for the chance to prove themselves to be more deserving of the third seed than the Equestrian upstarts.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:36 pm

Group 6
Powersith 2–0 Darmen
Kericia 0–2 Super-Llamaland
Jedi8246 3–3 Cuboneland
Jeruselem 4–2 Velkomorave
Carmadin 2–0 Pacificius

"Wait, we WHAT??" Yelled Llamaland Soccer President Sam Dijon into his phone.
"Yeah Sam, can you believe it?!?! We won!" Screamed Coach Lee Mays back.

It was fantastic. Even though Kericia was unranked to the #152 Llamas, it was still great as Super-Llamaland began their journey in their first WC game ever.

Trevor Duncan scored in the forty-third minute; Johnny Rushmore found the net in minute sixty-eight. Nick DeJesus, a last-minute injury sub, had a perfect shutout. It was a good game all around for the Llamas.

They prepare for a loss at Jedi8246, although many players remain hopeful.

by **Kinitaria** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:55 pm

(OOC: Following on from here.

18. Vitarii 3459
Tirinthea, Tirinthea rayona, Kinitaria

"My name is Norak Kusnir, and I'm a scout at Atletika Vanuku. We're interested in signing you to our youth academy."

Luka could only stare in disbelief. "You want me? Are you sure?" he blurted out. Atletika were the current cup holders and widely regarded as one of the strongest teams in the country. And they'd come looking for him!

Kusnir chuckled. "I know, son. It's a lot to take in. But I was very impressed with you out there. So much so, that I'd like you to come along to the Arena Atletikii next week and we can discuss this further. Are you alright with that?"

"I, uh, y-yes," the young boy stuttered. "But I don't know how to get there."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Kusnir waved off Luka's concerns airily, "the club will be providing your travel expenses. Besides, it's not as though we'd be asking you to come alone. Your parents would have to be there, otherwise we wouldn't be able to sign a contract with a minor."

Contract? Then it hit him. A contract! This man, who had appeared out of nowhere, was talking about contracting him to one of the biggest professional football teams in the country! Luka's brain was struggling to take it all in.

"...so we'll see you at the stadium... is a week today okay? Let's say, 12pm. Just come into the reception and ask for me. Your father has my card."

"I'll see you there", was all the wide-eyed boy could manage.

For the next few days, Luka could think of little else. He still attended training with the Dinamo boys, but it didn't take a genius to realise what his conversation with a man in an Atletika tracksuit had meant. His team-mates would ask him a great deal of questions that he didn't know the answer to, and that just set him thinking even more. He would wonder what they would make him do at Vanuku - would there be a trial? Would there be many others there? What if he made a fool of himself in front of them? He would never be picked up by a top club then. And what about this contract Kusnir mentioned? Should he accept the first offer they gave him? Would it be better to haggle, or would that just come across as obnoxious entitlement?

His head continued to fill with questions until, in six days time (for the Kinitar week contains only six days), Luka and his parents rose early for the journey to Vanuku. The port city was on its own little island, and so they needed to take a ferry across from the coastal town of Ledenigrahovči. Because of its conspicuous location very close to the coast, the stadium became visible from the ferry as it approached Vanuku. When they left the vessel, the ground was only a few minutes away, and they even got there with a good half an hour to spare.

As they had arrived a little early, they decided to take a quick walk around the stadium. It held scarcely more than 20,000 fans, but was still an imposing arena against the flat backdrop of the sea half a mile behind it. It was notable as a traditional-looking, historic stadium, with what appeared to be some rather old terracing, as well as a newer, more modern main grandstand. There was also - and this intrigued Luka most of all - an impressive training complex just behind the stadium, definitely one of the newer additions to the site. One day, he thought, he could be playing in front of those 20,000...

But that was some way off yet. First, he had to prove himself to the powers that be at Atletika. He was very impressed by their setup, it was just a question of how impressed they would be by him. A few minutes before twelve, they located the grand main entrance at the front of the stadium, and walked through the double-doors to the main reception.

"Hello," Luka began, approaching the receptionist, "I'm supposed to be seeing, uh..." What was that name? Oh, right! "Norak Kusnir at twelve."

"No problem," replied the receptionist with a smile, "if you'd just like to take a seat, he'll be right out."

It could only have been a couple of seconds after he'd sat down that Kusnir appeared from a side door, grinning widely.

"Luka," he beamed, "wonderful to see you again. And your family too, of course. It's good to see you here punctually. Welcome to Vanuku, and welcome to Atletika. This could be the first day of the rest of your life. There's some people I'd like you to meet, so if you'd just follow me..."

Kusnir led them through a door, up several flights of stairs and along a winding corridor. As they were walking, Luka's brain was going into overdrive. This is real. This is a real thing. I am really in the home of the best team in the country, and they want to sign me!

Eventually, they came to a set of double doors, marked with a polished brass plaque reading "Conference Room 2". Kusnir showed them inside, to where a man wearing what looked like a very expensive suit stood waiting.

"Come on in," he invited them, standing up to shake hands with the new arrivals. "My name is Surel Kasarda, and I'm the first-team manager here at Atletika. I'm delighted to be able to welcome you to Atletika Vanuku Football Club." Luka had seen this man on TV. Now he was trying to chat to him. This was surreal!

"Now, normally I don't get involved with youth team contracts, but I've been told that there's something very special about you. Norak here is prepared to stake his reputation on you, and that intrigued me a lot." Suddenly, this was becoming a lot more serious than Luka had thought it would. "In fact, we've already decided that we want to sign you. It's not a full professional contract or anything, you're a bit too young for that. But it could be, in a couple of years. And Norak has me convinced that you've got a great future. We've been very fortunate that you live just - by a matter of a few hundred meters - inside the catchment area for Atletika, we're not allowed to sign youth players from more than two hundred kilometers away. And all you have to do is sign a form contracting you to our youth team."

Luka stared at the form that was being handed to him. This was the gateway to his future. And all he had to do was sign it.

"Hang on," his dad interjected from behind him, making him jump. "This is a wonderful opportunity, I'm sure... but, as you say, we do live two hundred kilometers away. We can't make that kind of trip several times a week."

"Not a problem," came the reply. "The club can make arrangements for you. And if you're not happy with how things are going, we do allow you to pull out within the first couple of weeks. So what do you say?"

"Do it. Give the boy his future."

And just like that, Luka Sabčot joined the youth academy of Kinitaria's greatest team.

by **Taeshan** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:59 pm

Last night the Purple Knights of Taeshan took the long airplane ride to the distant realm of Chunnan. In a crowd barely above the few thousands on a mediocre pitch in the land far far away the Knights somehow ended up on top after the ninety minutes of play. The Knights took advantage of a late corner to score the lone goal of the game. It was really sad though that they almost didnt get the three points from the match, and it was close to making the media cry out against the team as they almost tied a lowly side from an unknown nation. The aforementioned late goal was scored by number 8 Ender Wiggin. Writing about this game really heads downhill when others have done it before. Anywho, the Knights now head to another far off land in an attempt to win another 3 away points to keep their chances of waltzing through the qualifiers without much difficulty.

by **Antoletia** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:03 pm

"Well that game could have ended worse."

"Yeah at least we didn't lose. A point is a point, it could mean something later on."

"True, true though. I really thought though that we could win it out there. So many chances. We should have easily won, we had them so outmatched."

"Seriously we were so much better then them, we just let bad goals in and didn't capitalize on all our chances. Oh we might also rue this day we lost a game we should have won."

"Oh well all we can do is go out thee and win the other games. No point dwelling on the past, the future may well hold better things for us."

"Yes it may."

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