North Laithland made their mark to reinforce their hold on first - Keynes and Raptor both scored in the second half, but Sedgwick’s hattrick stole the show in a 5-1 mullering of the Rovers. It was the Chariots’ home fixture against Brinemouth that was the most enthralling, however - Croft Drinkwater struck first, low and hard from distance, but a deflected Christon volley wrongfooted Felix Carrick, and a skilful pass to play Jonny dos Santos past the defence put Brinemouth 2-1 up by half-time. But the Chariots were determined to claw back into the game - Drinkwater made his brace from a corner with a header at the far post in the 71st minute, and substitute Nate Walker slotted home in extra time to cap off a dramatic fixture.
It’s a close-run thing for Treason, who need to catch up on North Laithland - they only beat a determined Brookford with a Wingett free kick in the 73rd minute, and looked vulnerable late in the game. Fortunately for them, the Spiders slip up against Mainstream, foiled by their own weak defending. Meanwhile, a straight red for Claire Antioch in the 86th minute somewhat mars a Coret away victory over the Chariots. Substitute goalkeeper Bret Faulkner, making his first Premiership experience, saves Sylver’s penalty and spares Coret’s blushes.
Brinemouth surprisingly can’t beat Coret, who hold out at home and slot one of their three shots home, while Faulkner has a brilliant game. Crisisbless could have put three or four past Athletic if not for poor finishing and the form of Wilhelm Urquhart - as it stands, they dominate and score the winning goal in the 62nd minute, from Osric Keast’s volley.
Treason go on the attack all game, but Brinemouth hang back and try to play the counter. Neither is effective, although Luke Kendrick comes on as a substitute and nearly scores with his first touch in the 81st minute - a little flick wings just over the crossbar. Their impasse leaves room for Laithland to further their lead at the top. Meanwhile, Chenoworth utterly dominate the defending champions, who are, simply put, rubbish.
Kelly Given scores a hattrick, the Fist centre-forward the difference between the hosts and the Quakers. Meanwhile, Athletic still can’t win, but Luther Marshall breaks his duck as he lashes a long shot past Carrick from distance - but the Chariots still look the better team for most of the match. Once again, North Laithland capitalise as Brinemouth and Treason both drop points.
A packed week - one in which most games deserve some mention.
Shale scored four goals in one game - they’re definitely showing more attacking flair than last season. Of these, three came in counters, as the Tanners simply overstretched themselves. It could’ve been more - from four one-on-ones against Hennessey, the Southfell keeper saved two.
Treason simply outdid the Moths, and a brace from Cheney Bittencourt saw the hosts off. Under Reinhard Shale, Treason have been more willing to take play into their own hands, especially at home - this game was no exception, and the Moths simply weren’t permitted chances of their own.
Athletic had yet another bad game, and were put to flight by a resilient Coret in Claire Antioch’s first match back from suspension.
Vermillion simply ran roughshod over River, with Lukas Hunter finally scoring his thirteenth goal of the season, Emerett and centre-back Deighton scoring the others.
Similarly, Maximum City simply annihilated Cranequin. The score was kept down to 0-1 with a string of good saves from both Rothner and Crewe keeping the scores down. Then Maximum City spend forty-five minutes kicking Cranequin’s teeth in.
Crisisbless go down quick, but rack up three goals before the end of the half (including two from young Osric Keast) to go into the next half 3-1 up. They score a fourth in the 50th, Lucia Oakwood converting a penalty won by Keast when Brennan went for his shins in the penalty area, but Mainstream score in the 65th and 72nd to set teeth rattling. It all comes to nothing, however, as Mainstream’s attacks falter for the rest of the game.
Brookford-North Laithland was, for anyone who loved football, pornography. North Laithland rack up a two-goal lead within ten minutes, with two identical goals from Delicious Johnson - played through the defence as he stood off the shoulder of Dvorak, breaking through and smashing into the back of the net. The Spiders immediately wrest the game from them, Sedgwick, Arragne and Loque taking the lead in at half-time. Molly Keynes knocks in a fourth from a corner, then they sit on the lead… until the 85th minute. Johnson’s played through again and completes his hattrick, then a relentless flurry of attacks from both sides finally sees the game settled in the most jammy way possible. A long throw from Mike Arneson is chested down by Brighton Kaywood then laid off to Queanbeyan, who’s first-touch effort soars into the net from range before any Laithlander can react… and Brookford take a point against the team in first.
Athletic are almost humbled by the Tanners, 1-0 down with ten minutes to play - but with their most spirited performance yet, they mount a comeback. A ferocious series of attacks is nearly held out, but when Alysia Dorne is played into a good position her shot forces a stunning reflex save from Hennessey - but it’s for naught, as Canady gets to the rebound and stabs the ball into the open net. But with just stoppage time to play, Southfell think they’ve secured a point away at the Barbarossa… until Jess Carragher tactically fouls Dorne, who’s found her way on the break, just outside the box. Ella Bramwell is suboptimally close to goal, but a superb hooking shot leaves Hennessey with no chance to save, and Athletic steal the result.
River approach the Southrons without fear, and despite going behind early (Muscat heads home from a corner) they fight back - 3-1 by half-time, and two from Nikita Reeve to finish the match. Meanwhile, Treason must beat North Laithland to keep within touching distance of first place - they manage it, just. Cheney Portsmouth makes his third start for the first-team, and scores his first goal this match - a cross from Wingett is headed out by Dvorak, but Portsmouth makes an instinctive first-time shot that crashes into the top-right.
The Laith derby is traditionally one of the most easy-going, as both sides share mutual respect. It’s still an important match for the Spiders, who need to win to keep the edge over their rivals. They treat it like one, too, and their southern rivals simply can’t compete in the middle of the park - North Laithland dominate possession, and get two quick, direct goals.
Goodfeather’s 20-year old midfielder Rachael Loxley presses her claim to get more first-team action, a Man of the Match performance culminating in a fine assist for Beckett in the 33rd minute and a goal of her own in the 82nd, bringing Goodfeather their fifth straight win. South Laithland, by contrast, record a fifth straight defeat from a tough run of matches, but as their next fixtures are against Treason and Leichhardt respectively, most people bet both streaks to break next week. Meanwhile, Southfell crush Mainstream, with previously out-of-form George Jayson recording a hattrick. For Southfell and Goodfeather, these could be wins that change their season.
As predicted, South Laithland and Goodfeather both end their streaks, though Goodfeather lead through a Rettinger strike until sixty minutes in, when Harper and then Flaccus score within ten minutes. Vermillion, meanwhile, dominate Crisisbless, but ten outstanding saves from Lauren Brockhurst keeps them in the game, while North Laithland go into the break on the back foot and 0-0, but come out flying on the break - Arragne scores a brace, and Bazinho makes his first touch of the ball as a substitute count to give them a solid 3-0 victory.
Team P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
1 North Laithland 34 19 8 7 53 25 +28 65
2 AFC Treason 34 19 6 9 43 24 +19 63
3 Violence Chariots 34 18 8 8 54 44 +10 62
4 Maximum City 34 18 4 12 44 24 +20 58
5 Brinemouth 34 16 9 9 42 29 +13 57
6 Sabrefell Moths 34 16 7 11 40 28 +12 55
7 Crisisbless 34 14 12 8 42 36 +6 54
8 South Laithland 34 15 7 12 47 44 +3 52
9 Sabrefell Athletic 34 14 7 13 41 37 +4 49
10 Parrhesia United 34 13 10 11 38 44 -6 49
11 Shale 34 13 8 13 39 34 +5 47
12 Vermillion Rage 34 12 10 12 43 43 +0 46
13 Maximum Rovers 34 12 10 12 39 39 +0 46
14 Chenoworth Harriers 34 13 6 15 47 41 +6 45
15 Raven River 34 13 6 15 39 42 -3 45
16 Cranequin Wanderers 34 11 11 12 38 39 -1 44
17 Southfell United 34 12 8 14 42 47 -5 44
18 Goodfeather FC 34 11 10 13 40 52 -12 43
19 Mainstream Fist 34 11 9 14 45 50 -5 42
20 AFC Integabad 34 10 11 13 30 36 -6 41
21 Coret Hawks 34 10 8 16 28 40 -12 38
22 Brookford Otters 34 8 7 19 30 54 -24 31
23 Dubstep Rangers 34 7 6 21 28 50 -22 27
24 Leichhardt 34 6 6 22 21 51 -30 24
TOP SCORERS
15 - R. Cathar (SFM), C. Drinkwater (VIO)
14 - F. Sadler (CRN), W. Čalrek (MXC), L. Fletcher (MXR), D. Canady (SFA), C. Bittencourt (TRE)
13 - M. Keynes (NLA), D. Arragne (NLA), G. Kite (PAR), L. Hunter (VRM)
12 - B. Helmensun (CHH), G. Farrell (CRI), J. Beckett (GDF)
11 - K. Given (MSF), N. Reeve (RVR), P. Gannon (SHA), C. Muscat (SLA), R. Blake (SFU)
CLEAN SHEETS
17 - R. Miller (TRE)
16 - J. Pence (NLA)
15 - T. Colbright (BRI)
13 - P. Crewe (MXC), F. Connell (SFM)
12 - L. Brockhurst (CRI), W. Urquhart (SFA)
North Laithland Several dominant performances, but with two teams in touching distance they’ll have to keep up the strong performances. Blake Lawless has done a stunning job to transform the squad, though, and currently the bookies have them second-favourite for the title.
AFC Treason Treason’s strong and disciplined defence and midfield are their main virtues, and most people believe they can take the title. Russ Miller in particular has been in outstanding form, but their strikers aren’t, perhaps, producing as much as they would have hoped.
Violence Chariots Surprisingly still in the thick of the UICA places, and with a four-point gap over 4th and five from fifth, they’re serious contenders to make it. Croft Drinkwater is joint top scorer of the league, Nate Walker is extremely promising and their midfield has been outstanding. They’ve still been vulnerable on the defensive, however. The league’s top scorers at present, with 54.
Maximum City Great defence as ever, and with the fewest draws in the league at just four. They do tend to lose matches they could get points from, but for once their strikers are producing, especially 14-goal Čalrek.
Brinemouth A fluid 4-3-3 in attack and rigid in defence, dos Santos is the closest thing the league has to a ‘false nine’, contributing to more phases of play than a traditional target man but without the goal tally. It took a while to click, but they’ve lost just three from the last twenty-two games - Tana Colbright has been outstanding despite some early problems.
Sabrefell Moths Rook Cathar is the main source of goals for the Moths, and they’ve struggled to find the net during his six games out. Still, he’s fit at the moment, and has stated his determination to score ten more before the season is done. Beyond that, they need more genuine star quality in support, though loanee Schindler’s thrived.
Crisisbless A good run of form, backed by Gareth Farrell’s eye for goal, sees Crisisbless back in borderline UICA contention. But the quality’s still patchy, and they’re still very much a team in transition. Maybe a new transfer window and the ability to spend some of the income from the Cromwell transfer will give them the opportunity to strengthen.
South Laithland Five straight defeats for the Laithlanders sees them struggle, as Muscat only finds the net twice in the eleven matches. No longer realistic contenders to match their previous season, though they’re still punching above their weight.
Sabrefell Athletic The defending champions should not be in ninth, struggling to find the net and leaky in defence. Nobody’s certain what has gone wrong here, but they’re hoping they can make the pace to at least place in the top 6.
Parrhesia United Georgia Kite has been exceptional for them, the young striker scoring over a third of the Saints’ goals. They’ve been shaky at times, but their ability to scalp games even on a bad day is keeping them in the top ten.
AFC Shale Still not lethal in front of goal, but their ability is no longer to be dismissed. 11 goals from Paula Gannon combined with a tight defensive unit means most teams still struggle to score against them, and if they do concede they’ve a better chance of drawing level.
Vermillion Rage A pretty dismal run for Vermillion, as Lukas Hunter encounters a barren spell, scoring just one from eleven. The side wins two, draws four and loses five of the past eleven, and it sees them slide into midtable.
Maximum Rovers After free-scoring early form, the supply’s dried up for Rovers, besides Leigh Fletcher with a tally of 14. Still, they’re as balanced and coordinated as ever, and Edmund Agincourt’s shown himself to be capable of keeping them in good shape.
Chenoworth Harriers Have often been forced to go on the attack, as they’re prone to going behind - as a result, they’ve scored an impressive 47. It’s worked out well for them, as has their unconventional 4-2-3-1 formation. 24-year old Flynn King’s had his work cut out for him, but at times a stretch of acrobatic saves has kept the Harriers in matches.
Raven River Very average right now, without the influence of a particular star player. Fitzmarten, however, has been one of the best goalkeepers in the league … but you can’t help but feel some more support from the defence might help.
Cranequin Wanderers Russ Reucassel’s men been solid all-around, but have not managed to play through defences the way they used to. But Reucassel’s plan B (bomb direct balls at Fran Sadler) isn’t one the team is suited for, and a last resort at best.
Southfell United It’s not been pretty, but Southfell have been playing with grit and steel more than pace and flair for the first time in the modern era - the midfielders’ job is to get the ball forward fast, and the strikers’ jobs are to bash the ball into the net. But Hemingway will need to shore up the defence if he wants to make sure they’ll stay up.
Goodfeather FC Five straight wins, a streak ended with a spirited showing against Treason, sees Goodfeather in the clear. But they’ll need to keep it up, as a poor run of form could see them be edged out for survival. Still, with the quality on this team, they’ll likely make it.
Mainstream Fist The Mainstream defence appears inadequate to maintain its high line, but strength in attack is keeping Mainstream afloat. Still, you sense Integabad have the experience to stay afloat, and Coret pulled off a remarkable feat to stay up last season, so if the Hawks manage it it’ll probably be at Mainstream’s cost.
AFC Integabad A misfiring attack that badly needs a proper target man - Montag’s a good player, but this is not his element when balls need to be hit high at him. Solid at the back, though, just 36 conceded and that will be enough to keep them up.
Coret Hawks Down, but not out. Dismal attacking form has meant they’ve struggled to stay in games when they go down, but the past seasons have shown there’s no doubt Coret have what it takes to mount a spirited last-minute charge.
Brookford Otters Poor going forward, frail in defence. There’s little for the Otters to be optimistic about, and ten points from safety means they’re already practically relegated.
Dubstep Rangers All but relegated, and nobody’s entirely certain what happened. Another mass migration can be expected at the end of the season.
Leichhardt Realistically, nobody expected Leichhardt to stay up. Rooted at the bottom of the table for most of the season, they’re destined to go straight back down. They didn’t financially overextend, however, and will likely keep most of their players. The same cannot be said for some of the teams around them...
Team P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
1 Chatswood 34 23 7 4 66 24 +42 76
2 Newrook Democracy 34 20 6 8 60 33 +27 66
3 Franchise FC 34 18 6 10 49 27 +22 60
4 Martella Jazz 34 18 6 10 61 47 +14 60
5 West Brinemouth 34 17 7 10 40 31 +9 58
6 Corvette Maulers 34 17 4 13 53 47 +6 55
7 Iron City 34 15 9 10 42 31 +11 54
8 Raging Fire Hares 34 16 6 12 28 24 +4 54
9 Chenoworth Rovers 34 16 5 13 35 35 +0 53
10 Cranequin City 34 15 7 12 35 32 +3 52
11 Ritter Town 34 14 9 11 46 38 +8 51
12 Leopolis Hatemongers 34 14 9 11 44 41 +3 51
13 Bishop 34 15 5 14 42 36 +6 50
14 Rochford 34 12 9 13 31 35 -4 45
15 Rhagant Schadenfreude 34 11 10 13 34 36 -2 43
16 Starling 34 10 10 14 38 52 -14 40
17 Rushe United 34 10 10 14 32 46 -14 40
18 Crisisbless United 34 9 10 15 38 43 -5 37
19 Crossroads Town 34 9 8 17 33 51 -18 35
20 Cypher Town 34 10 5 19 29 48 -19 35
21 Orbital Bombardment 34 8 8 18 22 41 -19 32
22 Ox River United 34 6 13 15 34 53 -19 31
23 Iron United 34 7 7 20 17 34 -17 28
24 Forge Carpenters 34 5 10 19 21 45 -24 25
Chatswood Eighteen points from fifth, a sure bet for promotion.
Still on target to make 100 points, and have the best attack, defence and top scorer in the league.
Newrook Democracy No complaints here, as Newrook look to make their return to the top flight. Solid, but no realistic chance of the title. Will probably promote.
Franchise FC Third in points and goal difference, with a solid defence. The younger aspects of the squad that crashed out of the Premiership have risen to the fore, but a couple of key injuries sees them looking a little shaky in the final stretch of the season.
Martella Jazz A leaky defence and strong attack make them an exciting team to watch, as they go into every match commanded to attack without fear. They’ll have to maintain their good form and eye for goal if they want to keep their promotion place.
West Brinemouth Sturdy defence and an attack that can get the job done. One wonders if they’ll be like Leichhardt if they make it up, with little chance of survival, but there’s a feeling to this side giving the real impression they can make it.
Corvette Maulers Coming straight back up was always the goal, and one many people backed them for, but they’re now five points back of fourth. Not impossible by any means, but they’ll need two teams to slip up.
Iron City A good core squad that never looked like making promotion. A season of consolidation, and City will look ahead to the next season.
Raging Fire Hares Same old Hares - leaving the league next season, and nothing new in their last.
Chenoworth Rovers Needed far more skill and quality - as it stands, Rovers look happy to be in the First Division, with no ambition. Rumours of a change in leadership are rife, but probably not until next season.
Cranequin City They’ve done well, and look secure their first season after promotion. They can expect to be more or less secure next season, with this squad.
Ritter Town They’ve had trouble turning dominance into victory, but they’re definitely a solid side. Some of their young prospects have been scouted out by Premiership sides… there’s definitely some interest there, and that’ll mean profit for Town.
Leopolis Hatemongers Solid midtable, and they seem comfortable with it. A season of consolidation and rebuilding.
Bishop Good form has pulled them well out of danger. Their players look fairly comfortable in their new surroundings, and some are beginning to speak of a top eight finish next season.
Rochford Looked well in the mix twelve games in, then their bid for promotion totally collapsed. Farham keeps her job by a thread, but she’ll have to do better next season - this one’s too late to salvage.
Rhagant Schadenfreude Surprisingly shaky, and they’ll look to reinforce their aging squad with some blood in the prime of their lives. If they address that, they could make the top half next season.
Starling The second-weakest defence in the league, but on the whole Starling are doing well to keep out of the relegation dogfight.
Rushe United Have looked very poor at times, but an ability to grind out results even on a bad day has kept them out of the bottom six. They might not stay out of there, but they don’t look relegation-threatened.
Crisisbless United They just look mediocre, and a tendency to be slow starters in games isn’t helping them. Should still avoid the drop handily.
Crossroads Town A team that likes to counter-attack, but too often the opponent’s attacks end in goals. They’ve faltered of late, and it’s only lucky for them that so have the teams around them.
Cypher Town Hanging on by a thread - goalshy and weak defensively, if it wasn’t for 23-year old goalkeeper Chase Berenger they’d be in the bottom four.
Orbital Bombardment If you don’t score, you can’t win. Orbital simply haven’t been able to score.
Ox River United The weakest defence in the league, which nobody really expected. United could be out of this situation if they turned draws into wins, but they’ve either conceded late or finished poorly. It’s not too late, and some fancy them to make it to 20th over Cypher and Orbital, but time’s running out.
Iron United They’ve just been dull, dreary and disappointing.
Forge Carpenters With practically no hope of survival, a poor season for Forge will end with relegation for the first time in the modern era.
Team P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
1 Falston-on-Ceynes United 34 16 10 8 40 36 +4 58
2 Gridlock Rovers 34 15 12 7 42 33 +9 57
3 Creed United 34 15 11 8 47 29 +18 56
4 West Hook 34 16 7 11 39 24 +15 55
5 Extreme Hills 34 15 9 10 56 35 +21 54
6 Dross Rovers 34 16 6 12 29 25 +4 54
7 Sutcroft 34 15 7 12 42 33 +9 52
8 North Dubstep 34 13 12 9 41 33 +8 51
9 Reckdale Town 34 13 10 11 45 40 +5 49
10 Haymaker United 34 13 10 11 31 26 +5 49
11 North Sabrefell 34 13 10 11 38 35 +3 49
12 Corby Hubris 34 12 11 11 30 30 +0 47
13 Fenland Albion 34 13 8 13 36 39 -3 47
14 Locksley Petty Theft 34 13 8 13 45 49 -4 47
15 Strephonage 34 13 7 14 26 34 -8 46
16 Sandrock Artillery 34 10 14 10 26 28 -2 44
17 Anslow Medication 34 10 12 12 36 42 -6 42
18 East Laithland Harriers 34 10 12 12 29 35 -6 42
19 Hackett 34 11 8 15 40 45 -5 41
20 Sheridan 34 10 8 16 25 34 -9 38
21 West Shotgun Turtles 34 11 5 18 22 41 -19 38
22 Inner-East Fairywrens 34 7 12 15 24 32 -8 33
23 Geoff United 34 8 9 17 39 50 -11 33
24 Greymouth 34 8 6 20 23 43 -20 30
NSFA Cup