Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:14 pm

Off-season. Finally.

Okay, so as anyone who noticed I cut short a quarter of the Sideburnese season and basically all of Brenecia's (again) in order to still miss cutoff, I overextended. Badly. So of all this shit, some of it has to go, because writing it was tedious, tiring, painful and I still failed to meet deadline.

Shit mood, but important lesson to take from it. Expect next season's to be shorter. Still open for feedback on what little I did complete, or if there's anything in particular you want me to spare.

Things that will go:
Trite little reports between matchdays
The reviews at the end of the tables
A couple of extra details in the Season Previews

Things that will be added:
I did plan on adding a brief 'how did foreigners perform'. If prompted by individuals, I'll give a brief couple of sentences for this past season, and I'll probably manage to add a full version for next season.
A short, sharp season review for Brenecia. Nothing else.

by **New Sideburn** » Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:34 pm

SEASON PREVIEW for the NEW SIDEBURN PREMIERSHIP 334

Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 North Laithland          46  27   9  10  80  38  +42  90  Champions
 2 Brinemouth               46  26  11   9  64  35  +29  89  Globe
 3 AFC Treason              46  26   8  12  62  35  +27  86  Globe
 4 Maximum City             46  25   6  15  62  35  +27  81
 5 Sabrefell Moths          46  23   9  14  60  37  +23  78
 6 Crisisbless              46  19  16  11  53  45   +8  73
 7 Violence Chariots        46  21  10  15  70  66   +4  73
 8 South Laithland          46  20  12  14  65  56   +9  72
 9 Parrhesia United         46  20  11  15  50  55   -5  71  Globe
10 Maximum Rovers           46  18  14  14  53  47   +6  68
11 Sabrefell Athletic       46  18  11  17  57  53   +4  65
12 Cranequin Wanderers      46  15  15  16  48  49   -1  60
13 Shale                    46  16  10  20  47  49   -2  58
14 Vermillion Rage          46  15  13  18  53  59   -6  58
15 Goodfeather FC           46  15  13  18  58  73  -15  58
16 Chenoworth Harriers      46  16   7  23  58  63   -5  55
17 Southfell United         46  15  10  21  59  67   -8  55
18 Raven River              46  15  10  21  51  62  -11  55
19 Coret Hawks              46  14  11  21  42  57  -15  53
20 AFC Integabad            46  12  15  19  42  52  -10  51
21 Mainstream Fist          46  13  11  22  57  72  -15  50  Relegated
22 Brookford Otters         46  12  11  23  44  67  -23  47  Relegated
23 Dubstep Rangers          46  12  10  24  37  61  -24  46  Relegated
24 Leichhardt               46   8   9  29  31  70  -39  33  Relegated

 1 Chatswood                  46  32   8   6  85  29  +56  104  Promoted
 2 Newrook Democracy          46  28  10   8  80  42  +38   94  Promoted
 3 Martella Jazz              46  26  10  10  88  58  +30   88  Promoted
 4 West Brinemouth            46  23  10  13  55  45  +10   79  Promoted
 5 Corvette Maulers           46  23   5  18  71  69   +2   74
 6 Franchise FC               46  20  11  15  61  43  +18   71
 7 Chenoworth Rovers          46  21   8  17  50  46   +4   71
 8 Cranequin City             46  20  10  16  49  45   +4   70

TOP SCORERS
23 - R. Cathar (SFM)
21 - M. Keynes (NLA), C. Bittencourt (TRE)
20 - W. Čalrek (MXC), D. Arragne (NLA), C. Drinkwater (VIO)
19 - G. Kite (PAR)
18 - F. Sadler (CRN), L. Fletcher (MXR), C. Muscat (SLA)
17 - G. Farrell (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), D. Canady (SFA), L. Hunter (VRM)
15 - J. dos Santos (BRI), D. Johnson (BRK), B. Helmensun (CHH), K. Given (MSF), R. Blake (SFU)
14 - J. Beckett (GDF), N. Reeve (RVR), P. Gannon (SHA)

CLEAN SHEETS
21 - T. Colbright (BRI)
20 - R. Miller (TRE)
19 - J. Pence (NLA), F. Connell (SFM)
17 - L. Brockhurst (CRI), P. Crewe (MXC)
16 - A. Middleton (MXR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot Winner: Rook Cathar (SFM)
Iron Gauntlet Winner: Tana Colbright (BRI)
Player of the Year: Catherine Sedgwick (NLA)
Debutant of the Year: Kunibert Mathias (BRI)
Manager of the Year: Blake Lawless (NLA)

by **New Sideburn** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:33 am

by **New Sideburn** » Tue Feb 25, 2014 3:25 am

A new era for Sabrefell Athletic - mediocrity. They concede three goals in the first half and a Mark Graves header finishes the scoreline - it perhaps slightly flattered the hosts, but only slightly, and Athletic barely went forward after conceding the first goal. The first goal of the new season, however, went to Brinemouth’s Cassidy Moran in the first ever Brinemouth derby in the Premiership - predictably, the West was crushed.

A few interesting results, but the highlight is naturally the 5-2 victory over Integabad - they’ve always had a lesser rivalry with the Moths, given that both were seen as the most symbolic clubs of the nations involved. Fran Sadler scored three in the first half, but Integabad mounted a fierce fightback to go into the break 3-2… before a Richard of France penalty and an Oskar Montag half-volley finished them off.

West Brinemouth look a totally different side to the one that capitulated away in the derby - at home, a vigilant defensive display and one goal from Ninian Locksmith on the counter-attack sees off AFC Treason. Brinemouth and North Laithland also lose, the latter never seeming threatening against an arrogant Maximum City.

Integabad gets torn apart again, this time by North Laithland. Southfell is also the victim of a humiliating smash and grab - Nate Walker makes his first start of the season, and immediately gives out a man of the match performance with two goals (a header from a corner and a neat volley) and an assist, a sliced cross to Ritter at the far post. And when Leinster was felled by Blackstock in the area, Sylver coolly converted to make it four.

A top-level clash sees Brinemouth host Treason, and it’s a cagey affair - Treason are forced on the defensive from the start, but Larissa Garrote’s men seem unable to break through. It’s only in the 81st minute when a cross from McFadden finds Darek Norgan open, and the Polarian centre-forward scores his third of the season.

The highest scoring game in Premiership history. The nine alone hasn’t been reached by a single club.
A runthrough.
2’: Long ball on the counter sends Sedgwick, Arragne, Conway and Bazinho away on goal. Conway’s long ball across the defence plays Arragne on goal - the striker makes no mistake. 1-0.
7’: Foul on Magda Chartreuse deep down the left - Conway takes free kick and lays it hard and low, Westmead bundles it into his own net. 2-0.
11’: Robin Leighton, making her first start, comes in with a neat assist - her pass is straight to Bazinho’s feet, and the Pravennan converts on his first touch. 3-0.
13’: The counter is quick for Chenoworth, who get the ball forward to Bror Helmensun. The veteran centre-forward holds up play then lays it off for Rachael Fenton, who thumps it into the net from thirty yards. 3-1.
28’: After a … relatively quiet patch, Sedgwick takes the ball into the box and is pulled up by Westmead - it seems a clear foul but the referee plays advantage as the ball finds Arragne, who slots in from a tight angle. 4-1.
42’: A hard shot from Lauren is headed out for a corner by Dvorak - the resulting set piece is cracked in by Joseph Marque and headed in at the near post by Helmensun, who slipped his marker. 4-2.
49’: Westmead has had a shocker of a game, and Harry Blanton comes on in his stead at halftime. It doesn’t help, as Sedgwick’s long ball over the top of Chenoworth’s defensive midfielders finds Bazinho, who plays a poor forward pass - aimed at Arragne, Conway manages to run onto it before it reaches the corner flag, then crosses in for Bazinho to head in. 5-2.
54’: Flynn King looks almost suicidal, but it’s his first real mistake of the game - a decent shot from Sedgwick at what should’ve been a comfortable height for him sees him palm it downwards into Arragne’s shins - it’s an ugly tap-in, but easy for him. 6-2.
64’: A cross from Magda Chartreuse is rather flapped at by King, and headed in with almost insulting ease by Sedgwick. 7-2.
78’: Some defensive changes in the 66th minute - Mallory and Malone in for Martyn and Byron - have done well to keep the scoreline down, but an eighth seems inevitable. Conway again with a long low ball, Leighton latches onto it just inside the area and gets the goal. 8-2.
90+2’: Chenoworth clearly tiring, with defense that can only be described as ‘utterly desperate’. This time, it’s substitute Aksel Svardasker who puts his name on the scoresheet - having only come on ten minutes ago, a long, high shot strikes the upper-right of the crossbar and bounces down into the net. 9-2 the final score… Chenoworth in tatters, and bets pretty good that backup Karla Rangerover will start the next match.

An unremarkable week, but Cranequin’s Casey Brind possibly scored the goal of the season - Sanders’ shot was pushed onto the bar by Crewe, but Brind slipped her vastly larger marker to scissorkick the ball into the net from an incredibly tight angle - not even Crewe’s flailing leg can stop it.

Two fixtures stand out - Goodfeather FC comes back from 2-1 down at half-time to beat Crisisbless by a resounding scoreline - Andrey Rettinger’s header puts them ahead, while his bicycle kick from a corner gives them the victory. But the most remarkable result belongs to Chatswood. The Woodsmen came to Maximum City as distinct underdogs, and left as heroes. Tanith Bryson, who was a Maximum City target at the start of the season, scored twice and drew a penalty from Didier Bernard, coolly converted by Markus Beckett. City came at them hard in the last twenty minutes, but a string of excellent saves from Alhambra Shrike kept the deficit intact.

Flynn King is back between the sticks for Chenoworth’s first point in three weeks - they’ve conceded 9 to North Laithland, 3 to Maximum Rovers and 4 to Martella in those three defeats, so a quiet home draw to Goodfeather is much-welcomed. The defending champions look simply desperate going back under Treason’s attack, but Jayce Pence keeps them in the game and they nearly take the three points on the counter - only a stunning flying save from Russ Miller gives Treason a (slightly disappointing) point. But the Moths’ defence, which had seemed impenetrable before this match, was sliced to ribbons by Brinemouth - Erica Kenney headed home a corner, Darek Norgan was played through on Connell and made no mistake, and ultimately the Moths never even began to threaten.

The Laith derby ends… poorly for the South. The Spiders’ on-again-off-again tendencies fire on all cylinders today, Molly Keynes earning a hattrick. Meanwhile, River, with just one win so far, make their second in convincing fashion - their home derby with the Moths sees their western neighbours looking toothless in attack and thoroughly put to the sword in attack. River’s diamond dominates affairs in midfield, and the Moths’ few attacks on the wing are all straightforward crosses at Fran Sadler, and all dealt with by the defence or Kurtis Fitzmarten.

South Laithland’s match against the Rovers is the undoubted highlight of the week. The hosts go down to Leigh Fletcher’s strike in the 12th minute, but goals from Muscat and Connacht put them in the lead going into the second half. And they retain that lead, for the rest of the ninety minutes - which is when the fourth official declares four minutes of injury time. First, a cross from leftback Rick Foster is chested down by Reinhard Drake, who then volleys it into the underside of the net’s roof. And two minutes later, just as the Southrons thought they had the point at least, they’re caught on the break. Their back four is found wanting - Harriet Avery is not, latches onto the long ball, drags it past a flailing Shrewe and rolls it into the net for the victory - somewhat, it has to be admitted, against the run of play.

The Moths have looked rather dour of late, but it’s the Rovers they really let loose on at last - four goals without reply, as Rovers are simply outfought in midfield and outgunned by the precision of Sadler (twice), Montag and Macbeth. Meanwhile, the Harriers have had a torrid time of things - but amidst (quite justified) calls for Ruth Tungsten’s head, she guides them to their first win, a complete performance taking them past the Chariots. And it’s not the first time Tungsten’s lead a team winless in its first ten of the season, either… she was fired from Rhagant after the same slow start.

Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Maximum City             12  8  3  1  17   6  +11  27
  2 AFC Treason              12  7  3  2  11   3   +8  24
  3 Brinemouth               12  7  3  2  18  11   +7  24
  4 Vermillion Rage          12  7  2  3  19  14   +5  23
  5 Crisisbless              12  6  4  2  19  13   +6  22
  6 Southfell United         12  6  3  3  13  13   +0  21
  7 Violence Chariots        12  5  5  2  16   9   +7  20
  8 Chatswood                12  5  4  3  18  13   +5  19
  9 Maximum Rovers           12  5  3  4  20  19   +1  18
 10 North Laithland          12  5  2  5  23  13  +10  17
 11 South Laithland          12  5  2  5  17  17   +0  17
 12 Sabrefell Moths          12  4  4  4  13  11   +2  16
 13 Goodfeather FC           12  4  4  4  12  11   +1  16
 14 AFC Shale                12  4  4  4  12  12   +0  16
 15 Parrhesia United         12  3  5  4   9   8   +1  14
 16 Raven River              12  3  5  4  12  13   -1  14
 17 Sabrefell Athletic       12  2  6  4  13  15   -2  12
 18 Cranequin Wanderers      12  2  5  5   8  12   -4  11
 19 Martella Jazz            12  2  5  5  16  21   -5  11
 20 Coret Hawks              12  2  5  5   8  13   -5  11
 21 AFC Integabad            12  3  1  8  10  24  -14  10
 22 West Brinemouth          12  2  3  7   9  19  -10   9
 23 Newrook City             12  2  2  8  10  20  -10   8
 24 Chenoworth Harriers      12  1  5  6  12  25  -13   8

Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Crisisbless United         12  7  4  1  22  10  +12  25
  2 Crossroads Town            12  7  3  2  20  11   +9  24
  3 Corvette Maulers           12  7  2  3  19  10   +9  23
  4 Cranequin City             12  6  5  1  16   9   +7  23
  5 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  6  4  2  17   9   +8  22
  6 Ritter Town                12  6  4  2  12   8   +4  22
  7 Dubstep Rangers            12  4  7  1  19  13   +6  19
  8 Rochford                   12  5  4  3  13   8   +5  19
  9 North Dubstep              12  4  7  1   9   6   +3  19
 10 Starling                   12  6  1  5  21  21   +0  19
 11 Leopolis Hatemongers       12  6  0  6  16  12   +4  18
 12 Leichhardt                 12  5  3  4   9  10   -1  18
 13 Chenoworth Rovers          12  4  3  5  12  12   +0  15
 14 Cypher Town                12  4  3  5  10  14   -4  15
 15 Iron City                  12  3  6  3   8  12   -4  15
 16 Mainstream Fist            12  4  1  7  19  20   -1  13
 17 Franchise FC               12  2  6  4  10  14   -4  12
 18 West Hook                  12  3  3  6   6  12   -6  12
 19 Extreme Hills              12  2  5  5  14  19   -5  11
 20 Brookford Otters           12  3  2  7   8  15   -7  11
 21 FC United                  12  1  6  5   8  13   -5   9
 22 Rushe United               12  1  5  6  13  22   -9   8
 23 Creed United               12  2  2  8   6  15   -9   8
 24 Bishop                     12  1  4  7   9  21  -12   7

Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Iron United                  12  8  3  1  20   5  +15  27
  2 Sutcroft                     12  7  3  2  19  10   +9  24
  3 Crisisbless Athletic         12  7  3  2  11   3   +8  24
  4 Corby Hubris                 12  6  5  1  13   6   +7  23
  5 North Sabrefell              12  5  6  1  12   8   +4  21
  6 Strephonage                  12  6  3  3  12  12   +0  21
  7 Geoff United                 12  5  5  2  15  10   +5  20
  8 Reckdale Town                12  5  4  3  13  12   +1  19
  9 Hackett                      12  5  2  5  15  26  -11  17
 10 Forge Carpenters             12  4  4  4  17  10   +7  16
 11 Fenland Albion               12  5  1  6  16  14   +2  16
 12 Boleyn Town                  12  4  4  4   7   7   +0  16
 13 Dross Rovers                 12  4  4  4  11  12   -1  16
 14 Inner-East Fairywrens        12  4  4  4   8  10   -2  16
 15 Ox River United              12  4  3  5  10   9   +1  15
 16 East Laithland Harriers      12  3  6  3   7  10   -3  15
 17 West Shotgun Turtles         12  4  2  6  11  14   -3  14
 18 Sheridan                     12  3  4  5   7  10   -3  13
 19 Gridlock Rovers              12  2  6  4  11  13   -2  12
 20 Vermillion Wanderers         12  3  2  7   9  13   -4  11
 21 Sandrock Artillery           12  3  2  7  10  16   -6  11
 22 Chaker Town                  12  3  2  7   8  14   -6  11
 23 Haymaker United              12  1  3  8   5  12   -7   6
 24 Locksley Petty Theft         12  1  3  8  10  21  -11   6

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:58 pm

Defending champions North Laithland face the team with the highest odds to dethrone them - and Brinemouth utterly demolish them. The Laithlanders stay level for 42 minutes, but Brinemouth’s Darek Norgan finally rewarded the home team’s dominance - a low cross from Licentian international James Watt and an outstretched boot to slot it into the net. Brinemouth weren’t done, though - a free kick from an acute angle from Watt let Erica Kenney head in at the far post, and the winger’s through ball set Kunibert Mathias on goal - the Felixan made no mistake one-on-one against Jayce Pence.

Some decent matches, but scratch that - the first Treason league derby was contested between Chatswood at home and AFC Treason away today. Chatswood, who have started strongly, held out firmly in the first half, a heroic save from Alhambra Shrike denying Elior Schneider from point-blank range while Russ Miller defied Bryson in a one-on-one at the other end. But in the second half, the Woodsmen were simply outlasted - Schneider took a long pass from Flaccus on the chest, outmaneuvred Brescia Stubbs and hammered the ball past Shrike for the lead. Chatswood threatened to pull one back before Flaccus, who was later declared man of the match, sprung past Vince Riggs from a Cathy Stokes pass, slipped into the box and deftly scored from the corner of the area. A tough, hard-tackling match from two characteristically tough, hard teams - but well-won by Treason, and showing promise for future matches.

Apart from Chatswood and Martella being utterly turned over by South and North Laithland respectively, Treason were the next victims of Violence’s remarkable run of form. First it seemed like more of the same - Allbeck’s curving shot grazed the woodwork in the second minute, and Treason were ahead by the seventh with a dipping volley from Cath Harper. But the Chariots, with far less international pedigree but all the grit and flair in the world, fought back. Nate Walker, the 20-year old coping well with his new role as backup, delivered a superb flick-on to play through Croft Drinkwater, who put on a remarkable burst of pace to get past Derek Kendall and slot the ball past Miller. In level at the break, it was once again Drinkwater who made the difference, with yet another of his sudden turns of blistering pace - this time with a long ball played over Treason’s back line, Drinkwater just beat Miller to the ball, flicked it downwards, controlled the ball and smashed into an empty net to complete a remarkable turnaround for the Chariots.

Brinemouth, having failed to beat the Rovers at home, manage to smash past their stronger rivals City away - once again their fluid attacking play breathes new life into the 4-3-3 generally spurned in the Premiership. The same formation gives little benefit to Southfell United, however - despite an okay run of form, their offence looks entirely pointless against Vermillion, who let them ping all the crosses into the box that they want but goalkeeper Kunibert Rosenfeld has no trouble dealing with it. Lone striker Rudolf Blake, it must be admitted, looked a little crowded by the three centrebacks.

Maximum City simply rip Integabad to pieces - a hattrick for Calrek following a strike from the out-of-favour Jack Radd. Havelund does what he can, but Crewe is equal to his efforts - a miserable night for the Integristani faithful.

River have had a quiet season so far, avoiding fears of relegation. Violence put a violent end to the good times. Kurtis Fitzmarten was let down time and time again by his defence, making eight fine saves but still had to pick the ball out of his net five times. Meanwhile, a thought for Athletic, who got utterly turned over by Vermillion - three goals conceded, just two shots on goal themselves. Both came from Leyland Stallion - the team may not be improving as a whole, but at least his form is far better than last season. Good thing, too - someone has to pick up the slack.

Martella’s defence threatens to be the most useless seen yet in the Premiership, as Cranequin come from 2-0 behind to score four in the second half; the Jazz simply overextend, and are vulnerable to the counter. Part of it can be blamed on the pace of centrebacks Berisha and Martell, 30 and 33 respectively - and in this case at least, errors from Urban Vaughan in goal.

Martella are utterly hammered again, Chatswood hitting them for six including four from last year’s top scorer in the first division, Nikita Charlemagne. But 22-year old Reinhard Ironside notches up two of his own - the youth is impressing everyone at the moment, and even if Martella go down Ironside is a dead certainty to be bought from someone.

Reversing the current trend, Sabrefell Athletic dominate the Moths. Hadrian Belfast and Arron Stewart click at the back the way they should have been doing all this time, while Karelline Charmwell carries the day in attack - she lays a chance on a plate for Dorne in the third minute, but the shot is scuffed and Connell miraculously recovers from going the wrong way to kick the ball out of danger. But it doesn’t last - the next chance Dorne gets, she buries, while Ella Bramwell (coming on as a substitute for the young Sarracena) finds the back of the net from an impressive free kick.

It is as though Flynn King is looking to erase the shame of the 9-2 defeat - the Harriers, facing Brinemouth at home, are entirely outmatched, and concede on the thirteenth minute to Kunibert Mathias’ strike. but King is in superb form to deny them a second. Then, in the second half, the Harriers make two clean breaks on the counter, and make both count - a thoroughly undeserved victory, and all credit to King.

Crisisbless utterly ruin Vermillion - Treason utterly ruin Integabad. Crisisbless is simply a tactical battle in which the Rage were outwitted at every turn - Crisisbless would force the ball into the midfield, where the advantage of their diamond spoke for itself, and play slowly from there, force Vermillion to overextend then quickly moving the ball forward. Erick Khan in particular had a field day, enjoying the space he had playing in the hole - a man of the match performance came with two goals and two assists, and even Lucia Oakwood’s goal from a free kick was won by him.

Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Maximum City             23  14  5   4  31  13  +18  47
  2 Brinemouth               23  14  5   4  32  16  +16  47
  3 North Laithland          23  13  4   6  44  22  +22  43
  4 Violence Chariots        23  12  7   4  38  21  +17  43
  5 Vermillion Rage          23  13  4   6  36  27   +9  43
  6 Crisisbless              23  12  6   5  37  20  +17  42
  7 AFC Treason              23  10  8   5  27  16  +11  38
  8 Sabrefell Moths          23  10  6   7  27  18   +9  36
  9 South Laithland          23  10  5   8  37  30   +7  35
 10 Raven River              23   8  9   6  24  23   +1  33
 11 Maximum Rovers           23   9  5   9  32  32   +0  32
 12 Chenoworth Harriers      23   8  8   7  24  30   -6  32
 13 Southfell United         23   9  5   9  21  27   -6  32
 14 Sabrefell Athletic       23   7  9   7  22  23   -1  30
 15 Goodfeather FC           23   7  7   9  24  22   +2  28
 16 Chatswood                23   7  7   9  32  38   -6  28
 17 Parrhesia United         23   6  9   8  18  20   -2  27
 18 AFC Shale                23   7  5  11  24  31   -7  26
 19 Martella Jazz            23   6  6  11  34  44  -10  24
 20 West Brinemouth          23   5  5  13  15  31  -16  20
 21 Cranequin Wanderers      23   4  7  12  17  29  -12  19
 22 Coret Hawks              23   3  9  11  13  27  -14  18
 23 AFC Integabad            23   5  3  15  15  47  -32  18
 24 Newrook City             23   3  4  16  18  35  -17  13

Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Rochford                   23  13   6   4  29  14  +15  45
  2 Ritter Town                23  12   6   5  29  19  +10  42
  3 Corvette Maulers           23  13   3   7  33  24   +9  42
  4 Cranequin City             23  11   8   4  31  20  +11  41
  5 Crisisbless United         23  11   6   6  33  22  +11  39
  6 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23   9   9   5  29  19  +10  36
  7 Mainstream Fist            23  11   3   9  34  28   +6  36
  8 Cypher Town                23  10   6   7  28  25   +3  36
  9 Leopolis Hatemongers       23  10   5   8  28  23   +5  35
 10 Crossroads Town            23  10   4   9  31  30   +1  34
 11 Chenoworth Rovers          23   8   9   6  27  23   +4  33
 12 Leichhardt                 23   9   6   8  18  19   -1  33
 13 Starling                   23   8   7   8  37  36   +1  31
 14 Rushe United               23   8   7   8  33  36   -3  31
 15 North Dubstep              23   6  11   6  17  18   -1  29
 16 Iron City                  23   5  14   4  18  20   -2  29
 17 Dubstep Rangers            23   6  10   7  25  26   -1  28
 18 Franchise FC               23   4  12   7  21  26   -5  24
 19 Creed United               23   6   5  12  20  27   -7  23
 20 Extreme Hills              23   4   9  10  24  31   -7  21
 21 Brookford Otters           23   5   6  12  15  28  -13  21
 22 West Hook                  23   4   8  11  14  26  -12  20
 23 FC United                  23   2  10  11  19  35  -16  16
 24 Bishop                     23   3   6  14  18  36  -18  15

Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 North Sabrefell              23  14  7   2  29  15  +14  49
  2 Sutcroft                     23  14  6   3  40  16  +24  48
  3 Geoff United                 23  12  7   4  30  18  +12  43
  4 Crisisbless Athletic         23  11  7   5  25  14  +11  40
  5 Iron United                  23  11  6   6  27  15  +12  39
  6 Corby Hubris                 23  10  9   4  25  17   +8  39
  7 Ox River United              23  10  6   7  24  18   +6  36
  8 Reckdale Town                23  10  6   7  25  25   +0  36
  9 Gridlock Rovers              23   8  9   6  29  22   +7  33
 10 Dross Rovers                 23   9  6   8  23  24   -1  33
 11 Chaker Town                  23   9  4  10  21  23   -2  31
 12 Forge Carpenters             23   7  9   7  29  23   +6  30
 13 Strephonage                  23   8  6   9  21  27   -6  30
 14 East Laithland Harriers      23   6 10   7  20  26   -6  28
 15 Vermillion Wanderers         23   7  6  10  19  23   -4  27
 16 Fenland Albion               23   7  5  11  26  28   -2  26
 17 Hackett                      23   7  5  11  26  39  -13  26
 18 Boleyn Town                  23   7  5  11  13  26  -13  26
 19 West Shotgun Turtles         23   6  6  11  16  24   -8  24
 20 Sandrock Artillery           23   6  6  11  21  30   -9  24
 21 Inner-East Fairywrens        23   6  5  12  12  23  -11  23
 22 Locksley Petty Theft         23   6  4  13  28  33   -5  22
 23 Sheridan                     23   5  6  12  13  25  -12  21
 24 Haymaker United              23   4  6  13  16  24   -8  18

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:34 am

The Gulls’ turn to host the Brinemouth derby, and this time they make a real fight of it. Helmensun struggles to match the stoic central defence of Kenney and Lopez, but his ability to hold up the ball is one of his greatest assets as a lone striker - he provides the assists for both Gerhard Driscoll and Kanye Mourinho to put the little-fancied Gulls 2-2 and level into the break. But any hopes of the fairytale ending were dashed late in the second half, as Kunibert Mathias’ superb pass played James Watt through on goal, and the winger made no mistake one-on-one with Cronin.

Crisisbless have a superb performance - questions have been asked about their mentality at times, but they’ve put that all to rest with a domination of South Laithland that leaves the Southrons in the dust. But it’s not the one that makes the headlines - that would be Martella, who the Brinemouth Herald describes as ‘disembowelling’ Athletic - Matt Mueller’s 30-yard screamer puts the capstone on a great performance. Meanwhile, Integabad fans breathe a sigh of relief as they hold the Moths to a scoreless draw at home - the reverse fixture was 5-2 against them.

North Laithland may be defending champions, but right now, it’s Maximum who top the table. And the Smiths show it, too, strutting their stuff with a 3-0 win away; first it’s Calrek, whose driving header from a Keane drive across the face of goal (that would narrowly have missed the target) puts them one-up by half time. Maximum’s relentless pressure exhausts the Spiders, though, and it shows - goals in the 86th and 88th against a clearly tired defence.

Despite a dominant performance last week, City lead most of the game in the derby but are defied by a 78th-minute strike from Darren Heath, the holding midfielder’s first of the season - a good result for the Rovers, and good for Brinemouth, too - with a cagey 1-0 win over Coret, they take pole position.

Having taken first place, Brinemouth immediately lose it. Having learned from a 1-0 defeat in the reverse fixture, Treason are coming off three consecutive wins and chalk up a fourth here, going straight for the throat. Cheney Bittencourt is on fire, hanging off the shoulder of Lopez and a constant threat breaking away from them. He scores twice before the tactical switch is made - Bruce Daunton replaces Kenney at centre-back, unsurprisingly faster given the twelve-year difference. It’s to no avail, though - the final score is 4-2, with Bittencourt notching a third before the day is over. Maximum City make no mistake taking down Martella to retake top spot, but it’s the other Maximum team most are concerned about - 5-0 against an utterly miserable performance from AFC Integabad.

They’ve suffered badly in recent weeks, but Integabad can still find a way to batter Martella into submission. None of their defenders can cope with Elmo Havelund’s presence in the box, and despite some poor finishing the Buyanese target man still manages two before the day is done. Martella pull two back, but the scoreline flatters them - the hosts thoroughly deserved the win.

Athletic have been quietly failing to put themselves back into contention, but a simply vicious performance against poor Coret sees Bret Faulkner pick the ball out of his net five times. They’re all scored in a 66-minute period; Athletic seem rather to wear themselves out, continuing to dominate. A ridiculous goal denies them the clean sheet, however - a miscommunication forces Urquhart to handle a backpass, and the resultant indirect free-kick inside the box sees Cheney Rosewood step back from the ball, sigh deeply, and smash the ball into Arron Stewart’s face, from there to the underside of the crossbar, then into the goal.

Goodfeather have had what some would call a mercifully quiet season so far, but for one night in Crisisbless all that seems to slide to a halt. Sixty minutes in, Crisisbless are 3-0 up and sitting pretty. In the 62nd minute, a long throw from Neil Morgan puts the defence off their guard - Rettinger slips behind them and slams the ball past Brockhurst, but things still seem distant. 68th minute - Rachael Loxley, who has had a truly remarkable season so far, dispossesses Ash Twining and launches a counter-attack along the left wing. Seneca Matthews has all the space in the world, has the option of Beckett marked out, but manages to cut inside and beat Brockhurst with her right foot. Crisisbless are purely on the defensive now, and it’s a bad time to be resting their captain, Oakwood - the third goal seems inevitable. But it happens late, and in ridiculous circumstances - Borussia has to stretch to shoot, and the volley hits hard against the post. The ball bounces back at Borussia, whose momentum carries him, and the ball, into the net. Nobody looks more confused than he does, but it’s enough to secure a point.

West Brinemouth are in a fine vein of form - not usually prolific, but after scoring three against the Rovers at home, score thrice against Martella away. North Laithland, meanwhile, falls further behind in the title race - Treason’s stout defence keeps them from launching more than four shots all game, two at goal and both distant - a single goal from Elior Schneider in the 14th minute seals the game. Consecutive defeats for the Spiders - an eighth straight win for Treason.

Just 13 goals over the 12 matches - but a 1-0 result more than suits South Laithland, who can go some way towards avenging the 5-1 defeat they suffered away. It’s also quite suitable for Sabrefell Athletic, who can relive the glory days a little - Leyland Stallion shows composure under pressure to slot past an onrushing Tana Colbright, giving Athletic a remarkable win against Brinemouth.

North Laithland broke their run of losses (three, back to back,) but it seemed like a winless run would extend from there when Sadler was played through the defence and chipped Pence off her line - fortunately for them, it was ruled offside, and they escaped with the 2-1 win. Treason, meanwhile, make their presence known after faltering in the second quarter of the season… an emphatic 3-0 victory over Martella is their tenth in a row. Well out of the UICA places before the streak, they’re right back in the title race now.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Maximum City             34  21   8   5  46  17  +29  71
  2 AFC Treason              34  20   8   6  47  21  +26  68
  3 Brinemouth               34  20   7   7  47  27  +20  67
  4 Crisisbless              34  17  11   6  52  29  +23  62
  5 Violence Chariots        34  16  12   6  53  35  +18  60
  6 North Laithland          34  17   7  10  59  35  +24  58
  7 Vermillion Rage          34  16   9   9  49  42   +7  57
  8 South Laithland          34  15   8  11  48  42   +6  53
  9 Sabrefell Athletic       34  13  12   9  44  36   +8  51
 10 Sabrefell Moths          34  13   9  12  31  25   +6  48
 11 Southfell United         34  14   6  14  32  38   -6  48
 12 Goodfeather FC           34  11  11  12  40  36   +4  44
 13 Chatswood                34  11  11  12  46  48   -2  44
 14 Parrhesia United         34  10  13  11  33  31   +2  43
 15 Maximum Rovers           34  12   7  15  49  48   +1  43
 16 AFC Shale                34  12   7  15  33  42   -9  43
 17 Raven River              34   9  14  11  30  35   -5  41
 18 Chenoworth Harriers      34  10   9  15  30  45  -15  39
 19 Cranequin Wanderers      34   8  10  16  27  41  -14  34
 20 Martella Jazz            34   8  10  16  47  63  -16  34
 21 West Brinemouth          34   9   7  18  30  46  -16  34
 22 AFC Integabad            34   8   7  19  27  61  -34  31
 23 Coret Hawks              34   4  12  18  19  46  -27  24
 24 Newrook City             34   3   7  24  27  57  -30  16

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Rochford                   34  21   8   5  48  20  +28  71
  2 Ritter Town                34  19   8   7  45  28  +17  65
  3 Mainstream Fist            34  19   5  10  54  34  +20  62
  4 Cranequin City             34  16  12   6  48  32  +16  60
  5 Corvette Maulers           34  18   6  10  46  34  +12  60
  6 Leichhardt                 34  16   7  11  30  25   +5  55
  7 Crossroads Town            34  16   6  12  47  43   +4  54
  8 Crisisbless United         34  15   7  12  43  38   +5  52
  9 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34  13  12   9  35  25  +10  51
 10 Iron City                  34  12  15   7  32  31   +1  51
 11 Cypher Town                34  12  11  11  40  41   -1  47
 12 Chenoworth Rovers          34  12  10  12  41  34   +7  46
 13 Rushe United               34  12   9  13  49  55   -6  45
 14 Leopolis Hatemongers       34  12   6  16  33  38   -5  42
 15 Dubstep Rangers            34  10  12  12  34  41   -7  42
 16 North Dubstep              34   9  14  11  25  30   -5  41
 17 Extreme Hills              34   9  13  12  37  39   -2  40
 18 Franchise FC               34   8  14  12  30  37   -7  38
 19 Starling                   34   9  10  15  48  56   -8  37
 20 Bishop                     34  10   7  17  33  42   -9  37
 21 West Hook                  34   7  13  14  23  36  -13  34
 22 Creed United               34   7   6  21  27  46  -19  27
 23 Brookford Otters           34   6   8  20  25  46  -21  26
 24 FC United                  34   4  13  17  25  47  -22  25

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sutcroft                     34  23   6   5  52  19  +33  75
  2 North Sabrefell              34  19   9   6  43  28  +15  66
  3 Reckdale Town                34  18   7   9  41  34   +7  61
  4 Iron United                  34  16   9   9  37  22  +15  57
  5 Geoff United                 34  16   9   9  42  31  +11  57
  6 Ox River United              34  15  10   9  35  25  +10  55
  7 Boleyn Town                  34  16   6  12  31  32   -1  54
  8 Crisisbless Athletic         34  14  11   9  39  30   +9  53
  9 Strephonage                  34  13   9  12  34  37   -3  48
 10 Gridlock Rovers              34  12  11  11  41  34   +7  47
 11 Corby Hubris                 34  11  12  11  36  34   +2  45
 12 Dross Rovers                 34  11  12  11  33  38   -5  45
 13 Forge Carpenters             34  11  11  12  41  30  +11  44
 14 Vermillion Wanderers         34  11  11  12  34  34   +0  44
 15 Chaker Town                  34  12   7  15  32  38   -6  43
 16 Hackett                      34  12   7  15  39  47   -8  43
 17 East Laithland Harriers      34  10  11  13  30  40  -10  41
 18 Locksley Petty Theft         34  10   6  18  41  49   -8  36
 19 Sheridan                     34   9   9  16  20  33  -13  36
 20 Fenland Albion               34   9   8  17  39  51  -12  35
 21 Inner-East Fairywrens        34   9   8  17  20  33  -13  35
 22 Sandrock Artillery           34   8  10  16  28  41  -13  34
 23 Haymaker United              34   7  11  16  25  34   -9  32
 24 West Shotgun Turtles         34   7   8  19  22  41  -19  29

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Mar 02, 2014 3:26 am

Athletic score just twice from 28 shots, nine on target - it’s a tally matched by Newrook from their more modest tally of five shots. But even so, they were unlucky not to win - they had strong claims for a penalty when Dorne was brought down by Roosevelt in the box, but it wasn’t given, and they had to settle for the point. It’s enough to stop the Moths from overtaking them, at least, but with a clinical performance against the Rovers they’ve been by far the better side this week.

Treason’s 11-match winning run ends with a 1-1 draw by the Wanderers. Cranequin nearly took all three points before Josephus Flaccus’ corner was reached by Schneider, and headed into the net. North Laithland, who have struggled at times recently, put up a resilient performance to take out Brinemouth on the counterattack - helped, of course, by a stalwart performance from the defence, keeping Brinemouth out of the area for most of the match - even Brinemouth’s goal was from outside it, a stunning drive from substitute Maxwell von Maelstrom.

Chatswood avenge their home defeat in the Treason derby with an unlikely victory away - Tanith Bryson is simply too technically gifted for the young Rachael Green, and neither Green, Marlowe or Miller is able to deal with a high cross from Reeve for Charlemagne to head home. It’s Tara Lockdown who scores the consolation, her first of the season after falling into injury, then out of favour.

Martella may have beaten North Laithland 4-2 in an amazing game, but let’s instead devote time and space to talking about West Brinemouth’s victory over Clint ‘Hoofball’ Hemingway’s Southfell United - the 1-0 game undoubtedly the most boring of the entire season. The 71 minutes it takes for Daniel Chaucer to head a corner in at the far post seems to last an eternity of dull crosses easily dealt with by Chaucer and Finch, while any midfield play for West Brinemouth is stifled by Prussia, Tremmel and young Cath Morespike - nine shots all game, seven outside the area, four on target.

Coret make two shots and both miss. That is the grand sum of their efforts on a day in which Russ Miller could probably have been casually reading a magazine in goal, or perhaps walking a small dog. But it’s Kurtis Quinn’s first start for his club, and he scores the first goal; a 35-minute strike slotted past Faulkner after he was played through, as two goals from Bittencourt and a final from Harper finish Coret off in style.

Violence vs. Sabrefell Moths is a gripping fixture finished in controversial circumstances - Croft Drinkwater stabs the ball home from a Jess Leinster low cross, which is exactly the sort of maneuvre you’d think literally everyone would see coming by now (but, as seen by his 21 goals, it keeps working) but Oskar Montag, making use of space as the centrebacks are pulled away to chase Sadler, is played through on goal and makes no mistake against Thrace. Kavanagh’s fine strike puts them in front, but in the 80th minute Violence is right back in it - Nate Walker played into the box, then chipping over the goalkeeper. But it’s a physical clash in the air between Yorke and Walker that ends in controversy - the Moths claim a 50/50, referee Markus Anderlecht

Martella beat Goodfeather by a resounding 4-1 margin; they’ve now won three and drawn one of their last five. Integabad, too, pull out an impressive win; two goals from Havelund and a third from Bernd Luxembourg sinks Brinemouth, all three from set pieces against the run of play. Even Newrook notch up a win - though only their fifth of the season, which really is not enough.

Brinemouth had won just one from seven, but they manage to break that bad streak against Goodfeather despite a goal from Dietmar Borussia in the 12th minute, a former Docker himself. Another former Brinemouth centre-forward, Drinkwater, scores his 23rd of the season to secure a draw against the defending champions; regarded as one of the most clinical and opportunistic goal poachers in the league, Drinkwater might well be seen by Brinemouth as ‘the one that got away.’

Miserable performances from the Harriers and the Wanderers see both beaten 4-0 away; Goodfeather and Integabad cruise to easy victories, with their Buyanese centre-forwards scoring five between them. It’s Rettinger that gets the hattrick - the fourth goal that match is an own goal, as Jem Hague intercepts a cross with her face - goalkeeper Paul Rothner is, understandably, incandescent with rage.

Athletic need a result to stay ahead of their fiercest rivals. They have more than a decent chance - they don’t take it. People who do take their chances include their opponents, the Moths, who make ten shots and all but one hits the target. Harry Grimm, in for the injured Urquhart, does a remarkable job of keeping the scoreline lower - one of his saves comes from a point-blank stab at the ball from Sadler, who was trying to get a hattrick and nearly succeeded. Still… grim tidings for Athletic, who slip further down the table.

Maximum City and Treason are the top two sides on the ladder. City hold the advantage by two points, with two matches to go, but their next match is the more challenging on paper, South Laithland away. Treason also have reason to keep a weather-eye on AFC Integabad, their next opponents. A result for Integabad will mean a final match against an opponent battling relegation, but without a point would mean their opponents are relegated, with nothing to play for, and away. Typically for such a crucial fixture, the two sides (playing identical 4-4-2 formations) have an ill-tempered match, brawling in the midfield. It’s a goalless affair, but crucially, in the 83rd minute, Cheney Portsmouth is headbutted after an argument by William Čalrek. The striker is sent off - and City enter their next match without their best player. One has to wonder what Portsmouth said to the temperamental striker… for what it’s worth, Smiths fans will feel some measure of satisfaction. Portsmouth is out the next game as well, concussed.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Maximum City             45  27  12   6  56  20  +36  93
  2 AFC Treason              45  27  10   8  66  27  +39  91
  3 Violence Chariots        45  23  14   8  71  46  +25  83
  4 Brinemouth               45  24  10  11  63  43  +20  82
  5 North Laithland          45  22  10  13  74  46  +28  76
  6 Crisisbless              45  21  13  11  65  41  +24  76
  7 Vermillion Rage          45  19  13  13  57  51   +6  70
  8 Sabrefell Moths          45  19  12  14  48  32  +16  69
  9 South Laithland          45  19  11  15  57  51   +6  68
 10 Chatswood                45  17  15  13  59  57   +2  66
 11 Sabrefell Athletic       45  17  14  14  55  52   +3  65
 12 Southfell United         45  19   8  18  42  46   -4  65
 13 Parrhesia United         45  15  17  13  44  39   +5  62
 14 Maximum Rovers           45  16  10  19  61  62   -1  58
 15 Raven River              45  13  18  14  44  47   -3  57
 16 Goodfeather FC           45  14  12  19  54  54   +0  54
 17 AFC Shale                45  14   9  22  38  54  -16  51
 18 Cranequin Wanderers      45  11  15  19  37  56  -19  48
 19 Chenoworth Harriers      45  12  12  21  40  61  -21  48
 20 West Brinemouth          45  13   8  24  37  59  -22  47
 21 Martella Jazz            45  11  12  22  63  81  -18  45
 22 AFC Integabad            45  12   8  25  37  71  -34  44
 23 Coret Hawks              45   5  15  25  24  62  -38  30
 24 Newrook City             45   7   8  30  38  72  -34  29

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mainstream Fist            45  26   8  11  83  44  +39  86
  2 Rochford                   45  25  11   9  58  34  +24  86
  3 Cranequin City             45  23  14   8  70  43  +27  83
  4 Corvette Maulers           45  24  11  10  70  45  +25  83
  5 Ritter Town                45  21  14  10  56  41  +15  77
  6 Crisisbless United         45  22   9  14  64  51  +13  75
  7 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45  19  14  12  49  35  +14  71
  8 Chenoworth Rovers          45  18  13  14  56  45  +11  67
  9 Leichhardt                 45  20   7  18  42  39   +3  67
 10 Iron City                  45  16  17  12  45  43   +2  65
 11 Rushe United               45  16  13  16  64  68   -4  61
 12 Crossroads Town            45  18   7  20  54  67  -13  61
 13 Leopolis Hatemongers       45  16  10  19  45  50   -5  58
 14 Cypher Town                45  14  15  16  56  58   -2  57
 15 Dubstep Rangers            45  12  18  15  46  53   -7  54
 16 Bishop                     45  13  13  19  46  55   -9  52
 17 Brookford Otters           45  14   9  22  43  56  -13  51
 18 North Dubstep              45  11  17  17  32  46  -14  50
 19 Franchise FC               45  11  16  18  40  54  -14  49
 20 Extreme Hills              45  11  15  19  45  55  -10  48
 21 Starling                   45  11  15  19  61  73  -12  48
 22 West Hook                  45  10  16  19  33  48  -15  46
 23 FC United                  45   7  16  22  40  69  -29  37
 24 Creed United               45   9   8  28  36  62  -26  35

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sutcroft                     45  28  10   7  68  30  +38  94
  2 North Sabrefell              45  25   9  11  57  39  +18  84
  3 Iron United                  45  24  10  11  56  27  +29  82
  4 Boleyn Town                  45  22  10  13  41  38   +3  76
  5 Reckdale Town                45  22   9  14  57  51   +6  75
  6 Crisisbless Athletic         45  19  14  12  54  45   +9  71
  7 Ox River United              45  19  11  15  45  36   +9  68
  8 Geoff United                 45  18  11  16  51  44   +7  65
  9 Dross Rovers                 45  17  14  14  50  53   -3  65
 10 Corby Hubris                 45  16  15  14  48  42   +6  63
 11 Vermillion Wanderers         45  16  14  15  46  41   +5  62
 12 Strephonage                  45  16  13  16  45  51   -6  61
 13 Chaker Town                  45  17   9  19  45  50   -5  60
 14 Hackett                      45  17   8  20  54  62   -8  59
 15 Forge Carpenters             45  14  13  18  51  45   +6  55
 16 Gridlock Rovers              45  14  13  18  49  51   -2  55
 17 East Laithland Harriers      45  13  16  16  37  49  -12  55
 18 Locksley Petty Theft         45  15   8  22  57  64   -7  53
 19 West Shotgun Turtles         45  14  11  20  38  49  -11  53
 20 Inner-East Fairywrens        45  14  11  20  32  43  -11  53
 21 Fenland Albion               45  11  11  23  45  63  -18  44
 22 Sheridan                     45  10  14  21  26  44  -18  44
 23 Sandrock Artillery           45   9  15  21  34  52  -18  42
 24 Haymaker United              45   9  13  23  31  48  -17  40

THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF
Brinemouth, much like in the Premiership itself, were playing for third at best and fourth at worst. Vermillion, meanwhile, were on a fine run of form both in league and cup - and the Moths had only knocked them out on away goals. Even so, Brinemouth had good reason to be confident - they were certainly favourites, but the Rage threw an immediate spanner into the works - some slick passing and a stunning finish from Emma Cass gave them the lead on the thirty-nine second mark. Brinemouth were clearly shaken, and their equaliser was very much against the run of play - still, not something that could be taken away from them, and it was a fine team effort. Cassidy Moran on the right wing hit her cross low, nearly along the ground, as McFadden cut into the area. Norgan was the target, but the Rage’s cup keeper Rook Twain stuck out a leg - McFadden wasn’t expecting to find himself with the ball in front of a practically open goal, but he did well to convert a stumbling half-volley, scoring despite falling over in the process. But it was still to be Vermillion’s day - after continuing to press hard at Brinemouth, they took the lead from a Marlowe free kick that always had Malone beaten; and despite Brinemouth dominating the final twenty minutes, they never looked back.

Brinemouth 1-2 Vermillion Rage
Cass 1’
McFadden 16’
Marlowe 72’

FINAL
The Moths had not had the strongest of seasons, but most could accept it was a transitional period under Asger Stubbs. Still, a win in the Cup would signify something of a return to the glory days. Standing in their way was Goodfeather FC, who had come third in it two years ago and only improved since then. The Moths’ plan was to counterattack - it almost came to dividends immediately, a poor cross from Morgan headed well clear by Gallagher, then hit long. Three attackers against two defenders and Connell in goal, but Oskar Montag spurned the opportunity, well wide of the mark. Most of their chances came in similar circumstances, though none quite so good - but it was a long curled effort from Macbeth that finally beat Willans in goal. The Barunian goalkeeper came off his line to punch away, but Macbeth intercepted it with his right leg, let it bounce once, and fired superbly.

The Quakers were dominant in possession but looked very much the less likely to score. That all changed in the second half - whatever Turnbull said made all the difference. Beckett took the ball from the kick-off and launched forward, keeping the ball well under pressure from Richard of France, then from Penrooke - though dispossessed, the ball only made it as far as Goodfeather’s Rachael Loxley, who’d had an incredible debut season. She trotted forward with the ball as other Quakers moved up, beat a challenge from Penrooke, ran forward into the space then knocked it forward for Seneca Matthews - her cross took the Moths’ defence off their guard, and Rettinger’s glanced header left Bryan Veldt wrong-footed and without a chance. From that point, most people could see Goodfeather sealing the result; the pressure was relentless, and the favourites were suddenly left with hardly a chance of their own. Rettinger nearly finished the game when played through on goal, but his shot, taken with the outside of his left boot, beat both Veldt and the far post. But in the end, it was Seneca Matthews who put her name on the scoresheet; Loxley’s pass found her on the corner of the area, but her options to pass to were heavily marked - she tried a tentative flick to substitute Augustine Bardsley, who could only head back. That suited Matthews fine - now at a better angle, she half-volleyed with incredible power and poise to smash past Veldt - a goal truly befitting the stage. Despite some late scares, the score remained the same, the whistle blowing after Bryan Veldt, brought forward for the final corner, headed over the bar - the Moths collapsed where they stood on the pitch. Today belonged to Goodfeather.

Goodfeather FC 2-1 Sabrefell Moths
Macbeth 15’
Rettinger 47’
Matthews 86’

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Mar 02, 2014 8:11 pm

The final matchday - and everything still to play for. Maximum City needed to beat South Laithland away from home, and the title was theirs - if they failed, and Treason beat already-relegated Integabad at home, then the title would pass to Treason, their third of the modern era. With a win for Goodfeather FC in the Cup, 4th place was no longer good enough for a Globe Cup place; Violence lead by a point, and by goal difference, and hosted Cranequin at the Scythes. Things looked bad for Brinemouth, who needed to hope they slipped up while facing Chatswood away. Meanwhile, in the relegation battle, Cranequin, Chenoworth and West Brinemouth could all be theoretically relegated, but Martella would have to beat Southfell at home for that to happen. Chenoworth and West Brinemouth played one another, to add to the stakes. Sabrefell Athletic faced North Laithland at home, the two most recent champions both out of UICA contention, and other dead rubbers saw Vermillion host Crisisbless, Shale host Maximum Rovers, Sabrefell Moths host Newrook City and River host Parrhesia.

All relevant fixtures started quietly, apart from the VIO-CRN game; a moment of lapsed concentration from the Chariots defence saw Melissa Sanders played through on goal. But the young striker panicked, as her first season in the spotlight revealed her tendency to, and Asger Thrace managed to slide tackle her just outside the box. But City were stunned in the twelfth minute after a quiet opening period - Damian Shrewe smacked the ball upfield to find Cheney Markosian, who simply outpaced Pennant and showed class to slot home under intense pressure.

A shock to the system, but City were quick to recover - heavy pressure against the Laithlanders saw a violent strike from Jess Capulet palmed over by Shrewe, and both centrebacks were brought up for the corner. It was Bernard who was found by Leila Corvette’s corner - he simply overpowered Drummond and headed downwards for his third goal of the season. Things looked rosier for City - and better, as news filtered through from Treason’s match that Elmo Havelund had been felled in the area by Kendall - Integabad had a penalty.

Paul Kaiserslautern stepped up to take it - he’d not been in great form this season, and the penalty reflected that, low and not astonishingly fast. Russ Miller was quick to leap and drop a hand to it, palming it off the post, and Sam Allbeck was first to the rebound, smashing it out for a corner. Havelund rose well for the delivery, but headed over.

Meanwhile, the West Brinemouth - Chenoworth game was ferocious, but the Gulls’ strong defence (38% possession and racking up the foul count) was holding them back. At least, until Rachel Fenton took the ball 33 yards out and decided that she didn’t want to lose today - her strike was unstoppable, leaving Cronin without a chance. But the Harriers still hadn’t taken a shot from inside the area.

At half-time, Martella were 3-0 down and struggling against United’s ability to get balls into the area direct; a collective sigh of relief at Cranequin (leading 1-0), Chenoworth (also leading 1-0) and the Gulls (losing 1-0 to Chenoworth). Violence pounced on the sudden lack of urgency from Cranequin, scoring just three minutes after the restart with a low drive from Croft Drinkwater. There was another decisive goal early on, as well - South Laithland pressed strongly from the restart, and a cross from Rutger Connacht found Chris Muscat, who chested down, turned and fired low. Crewe got a hand to it… and it wasn’t nearly enough.

City were stunned, and the atmosphere at the Gauntlet correspondingly lifted. Reinhard Shale’s men took heart, sensed an opportunity, and began to simply run Integabad over in midfield. Logan Byron, who had been a rock in midfield all season, showed off his playmaking skills with a long forward ball for Allbeck. Integabad’s defenders quickly marked down the physical presence of Schneider - Allbeck took the shot herself, a dipping strike with her left boot that left Albert von Specta flailing. As the scorelines stood, Treason would take the title.

Brinemouth and Chatswood had been locked at one-all, Chatswood rather letting Brinemouth take all the possession and going direct in traditional Sideburnese fashion. Brinemouth needed to pile on the pressure, and did so with a slick pass down the middle. Norgan took possession, outfoxed Brescia Stubbs and smashed the ball into the top of the net. They were third… then Violence took the lead against the Wanderers two minutes later from a Fiona Sylver free kick. Both scores stood; Brinemouth were out of UICA, despite having three more points than Athletic’s title-winning season two years ago.

Martella were relegated. Treason were top, and City needed to score twice with ten minutes to go, missing their best striker after he nutted someone. Corvette, with plenty of time and space to place her shot, curved a strike high that skimmed over the crossbar, and Jack Tariff, under pressure in the area, could only smash the ball straight at Shrewe. But Tariff’s next effort was better, a shot that nearly beat Shrewe at his near post - the once called-up but uncapped Sideburnese international was forced to block the ball out for a corner. Crewe came up for it - it was a decision that would cost City dearly. Corvette’s corner came for Tariff, but Shrewe leapt dramatically for it and gathered it in his chest. The Smiths began to scramble back - Shrewe’s kick went into empty space, Rutger Connacht running for it with an incredible turn of pace. Jack Walker took the ball but was bodychecked by the left midfielder before he could clear it - Connacht just kept running, from the centre-circle to the penalty area, turned, saw nobody around him, and sidefooted it into the net.

Maximum City had lost the title, after leading for almost the entire season - and Treason, 7th midway through the season, had won it at the last.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason              46  28  10   8  67  27  +40  94
  2 Maximum City             46  27  12   7  57  23  +34  93
  3 Violence Chariots        46  24  14   8  73  47  +26  86
  4 Brinemouth               46  25  10  11  65  44  +21  85
  5 North Laithland          46  23  10  13  75  46  +29  79
  6 Crisisbless              46  22  13  11  67  41  +26  79
  7 Sabrefell Moths          46  20  12  14  53  32  +21  72
  8 South Laithland          46  20  11  15  60  52   +8  71
  9 Vermillion Rage          46  19  13  14  57  53   +4  70
 10 Southfell United         46  20   8  18  45  47   -2  68
 11 Chatswood                46  17  15  14  60  59   +1  66
 12 Sabrefell Athletic       46  17  14  15  55  53   +2  65
 13 Parrhesia United         46  15  17  14  45  41   +4  62
 14 Maximum Rovers           46  17  10  19  63  62   +1  61
 15 Raven River              46  14  18  14  46  48   -2  60
 16 Goodfeather FC           46  15  12  19  55  54   +1  57
 17 AFC Shale                46  14   9  23  38  56  -18  51
 18 Chenoworth Harriers      46  13  12  21  41  61  -20  51
 19 Cranequin Wanderers      46  11  15  20  38  58  -20  48
 20 West Brinemouth          46  13   8  25  37  60  -23  47
 21 Martella Jazz            46  11  12  23  64  84  -20  45
 22 AFC Integabad            46  12   8  26  37  72  -35  44
 23 Coret Hawks              46   5  15  26  24  63  -39  30
 24 Newrook City             46   7   8  31  38  77  -39  29

TOP SCORERS
25 - C. Drinkwater (VIO)
22 - D. Norgan (BRI)
20 - D. Arragne (NLA)
19 - L. Fletcher (MXR), F. Sadler (SFM), C. Bittencourt (TRE)
18 - W. Čalrek (MXC), L. Hunter (VRM)
17 - G. Farrell (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Ironside (MAR)
16 - N. Charlemagne (CHT), T. Bryson (CHT), E. Khan (CRI), R. Drake (MXR), J. Ritter (VIO)
15 - L. Stallion (SFA), C. Muscat (SFM), E. Schneider (TRE)
14 - E. Havelund (INT), C. Sedgwick (NLA), R. Blake (SFA)
13 - B. Helmensun (CHH), I. Luton (MAR), J. Tariff (MXC), D. Canady (PAR), G. Kite (PAR), P. Gannon (SHL), E. Bard (SLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Croft Drinkwater (VIO)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Michael Keane (MXC)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Erick Khan (CRI)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Walker (MXC), Marlowe (TRE), Yorke (SFM), Stokes (TRE, c); Keane (MXC), Mathias (BRI), Khan (CRI), Leinster (VIO); Drinkwater (VIO), Norgan (BRI) - Bench: Connell (SFM), Bernard (MXC), Clough (BRI), Knutsen (CRI), Flaccus (TRE), Parrish (MXC), Čalrek (MXC)
Manager of the Year: Gareth Sumner (VIO)

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mainstream Fist            46  27   8  11  85  45  +40  89
  2 Cranequin City             46  24  14   8  72  44  +28  86
  3 Rochford                   46  25  11  10  58  36  +22  86
  4 Corvette Maulers           46  24  11  11  71  47  +24  83
  5 Ritter Town                46  21  15  10  56  41  +15  78
  6 Crisisbless United         46  22  10  14  65  52  +13  76
  7 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  19  14  13  49  36  +13  71
  8 Leichhardt                 46  21   7  18  44  39   +5  70
  9 Chenoworth Rovers          46  18  13  15  56  46  +10  67
 10 Iron City                  46  16  18  12  46  44   +2  66
 11 Crossroads Town            46  18   8  20  55  68  -13  62
 12 Leopolis Hatemongers       46  17  10  19  47  50   -3  61
 13 Rushe United               46  16  13  17  65  70   -5  61
 14 Cypher Town                46  14  15  17  58  62   -4  57
 15 Bishop                     46  14  13  19  50  57   -7  55
 16 Dubstep Rangers            46  12  19  15  47  54   -7  55
 17 North Dubstep              46  12  17  17  33  46  -13  53
 18 Starling                   46  12  15  19  65  73   -8  51
 19 Extreme Hills              46  12  15  19  46  55   -9  51
 20 Brookford Otters           46  14   9  23  43  58  -15  51
 21 West Hook                  46  11  16  19  35  49  -14  49
 22 Franchise FC               46  11  16  19  41  56  -15  49
 23 FC United                  46   7  16  23  40  73  -33  37
 24 Creed United               46   9   9  28  36  62  -26  36

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sutcroft                     46  29  10   7  69  30  +39  97
  2 Iron United                  46  25  10  11  58  27  +31  85
  3 North Sabrefell              46  25  10  11  58  40  +18  85
  4 Boleyn Town                  46  22  11  13  42  39   +3  77
  5 Reckdale Town                46  22  10  14  60  54   +6  76
  6 Crisisbless Athletic         46  19  14  13  54  46   +8  71
  7 Geoff United                 46  19  11  16  53  44   +9  68
  8 Ox River United              46  19  11  16  45  37   +8  68
  9 Dross Rovers                 46  17  15  14  51  54   -3  66
 10 Strephonage                  46  17  13  16  46  51   -5  64
 11 Corby Hubris                 46  16  15  15  49  44   +5  63
 12 Vermillion Wanderers         46  16  15  15  46  41   +5  63
 13 Hackett                      46  18   8  20  56  63   -7  62
 14 Chaker Town                  46  17  10  19  48  53   -5  61
 15 Forge Carpenters             46  15  13  18  52  45   +7  58
 16 Gridlock Rovers              46  14  14  18  49  51   -2  56
 17 West Shotgun Turtles         46  15  11  20  39  49  -10  56
 18 East Laithland Harriers      46  13  16  17  37  51  -14  55
 19 Locksley Petty Theft         46  15   9  22  58  65   -7  54
 20 Inner-East Fairywrens        46  14  11  21  32  44  -12  53
 21 Fenland Albion               46  11  12  23  45  63  -18  45
 22 Sheridan                     46  10  14  22  26  45  -19  44
 23 Sandrock Artillery           46   9  15  22  34  54  -20  42
 24 Haymaker United              46   9  14  23  31  48  -17  41

by **New Sideburn** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:02 pm

BRENECIAN LEAGUE - 334 SEASON REVIEW

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kingsgrove               38  23   8   7  66  33  +33  77
  2 South Rathia             38  20  12   6  68  38  +30  72
  3 Northern Union           38  19  12   7  65  35  +30  69
  4 Marque                   38  20   9   9  54  39  +15  69
  5 Rozelle                  38  18  11   9  42  33   +9  65
  6 Sutbyrne                 38  16  10  12  52  42  +10  58
  7 North Rathia             38  16  10  12  55  46   +9  58
  8 Saint Alexander          38  15  12  11  47  44   +3  57
  9 Ridgeway United          38  15  10  13  42  31  +11  55
 10 Pikemouth                38  15  10  13  54  50   +4  55
 11 North Hall               38  12  12  14  44  45   -1  48
 12 Lotus Park               38  12  12  14  43  61  -18  48
 13 Mount Roland             38  11  13  14  43  44   -1  46
 14 Southside Wanderers      38   9  15  14  36  43   -7  42
 15 Westpike                 38  10  11  17  30  42  -12  41
 16 Rosbank Town             38  10   9  19  38  54  -16  39
 17 Platwood                 38  10   7  21  37  53  -16  37
 18 Chafford                 38   9   8  21  32  56  -24  35
 19 Envy River               38   9   6  23  37  78  -41  33
 20 Gallant Cross            38   7  11  20  34  52  -18  32

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Westpike United        38  24  11   3  61  26  +35  83
  2 Falkner United         38  21   9   8  64  35  +29  72
  3 Rozelle United         38  18  14   6  64  39  +25  68
  4 Scaffield              38  15  15   8  40  29  +11  60
  5 Hooker Ridge           38  17   7  14  60  42  +18  58
  6 Saint Wessex           38  17   7  14  46  37   +9  58
  7 Snowden River          38  15  10  13  45  42   +3  55
  8 Garfield               38  15  10  13  46  50   -4  55
  9 Crest                  38  16   6  16  35  41   -6  54
 10 Thriss Valley          38  16   6  16  47  55   -8  54
 11 Region                 38  13  12  13  38  35   +3  51
 12 Glassfields            38  11  15  12  48  54   -6  48
 13 Jackdaw River          38  12  12  14  44  57  -13  48
 14 Dalgallen              38  12  11  15  44  45   -1  47
 15 Thrush Central         38  12  11  15  48  50   -2  47
 16 Reave City             38  11  14  13  49  53   -4  47
 17 Francisca Orient       38  11  12  15  55  55   +0  45
 18 Longshanks Forest      38   6  12  20  33  63  -30  30
 19 Threat City            38   6  10  22  37  68  -31  28
 20 Brookden               38   5  10  23  28  56  -28  25

334 Crown Cup

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:30 pm

NSP PREVIEW - 335 SEASON

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 AFC Treason              46  28  10   8  67  27  +40  94
 2 Maximum City             46  27  12   7  57  23  +34  93
 3 Violence Chariots        46  24  14   8  73  47  +26  86
 4 Brinemouth               46  25  10  11  65  44  +21  85
 5 North Laithland          46  23  10  13  75  46  +29  79
 6 Crisisbless              46  22  13  11  67  41  +26  79
 7 Sabrefell Moths          46  20  12  14  53  32  +21  72
 8 South Laithland          46  20  11  15  60  52   +8  71
 9 Vermillion Rage          46  19  13  14  57  53   +4  70
10 Southfell United         46  20   8  18  45  47   -2  68
11 Chatswood                46  17  15  14  60  59   +1  66
12 Sabrefell Athletic       46  17  14  15  55  53   +2  65
13 Parrhesia United         46  15  17  14  45  41   +4  62
14 Maximum Rovers           46  17  10  19  63  62   +1  61
15 Raven River              46  14  18  14  46  48   -2  60
16 Goodfeather FC           46  15  12  19  55  54   +1  57
17 AFC Shale                46  14   9  23  38  56  -18  51
18 Chenoworth Harriers      46  13  12  21  41  61  -20  51
19 Cranequin Wanderers      46  11  15  20  38  58  -20  48
20 West Brinemouth          46  13   8  25  37  60  -23  47
21 Martella Jazz            46  11  12  23  64  84  -20  45
22 AFC Integabad            46  12   8  26  37  72  -35  44
23 Coret Hawks              46   5  15  26  24  63  -39  30
24 Newrook City             46   7   8  31  38  77  -39  29

 1 Mainstream Fist            46  27   8  11  85  45  +40  89
 2 Cranequin City             46  24  14   8  72  44  +28  86
 3 Rochford                   46  25  11  10  58  36  +22  86
 4 Corvette Maulers           46  24  11  11  71  47  +24  83
 5 Ritter Town                46  21  15  10  56  41  +15  78
 6 Crisisbless United         46  22  10  14  65  52  +13  76
 7 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  19  14  13  49  36  +13  71
 8 Leichhardt                 46  21   7  18  44  39   +5  70

TOP SCORERS
25 - C. Drinkwater (VIO)
22 - D. Norgan (BRI)
20 - D. Arragne (NLA)
19 - L. Fletcher (MXR), F. Sadler (SFM), C. Bittencourt (TRE)
18 - W. Čalrek (MXC), L. Hunter (VRM)
17 - G. Farrell (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Ironside (MAR)
16 - N. Charlemagne (CHT), T. Bryson (CHT), E. Khan (CRI), R. Drake (MXR), J. Ritter (VIO)
15 - L. Stallion (SFA), C. Muscat (SFM), E. Schneider (TRE)
14 - E. Havelund (INT), C. Sedgwick (NLA), R. Blake (SFA)
13 - B. Helmensun (CHH), I. Luton (MAR), J. Tariff (MXC), D. Canady (PAR), G. Kite (PAR), P. Gannon (SHL), E. Bard (SLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Croft Drinkwater (VIO)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Michael Keane (MXC)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Erick Khan (CRI)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Walker (MXC), Marlowe (TRE), Yorke (SFM), Stokes (TRE, c); Keane (MXC), Mathias (BRI), Khan (CRI), Leinster (VIO); Drinkwater (VIO), Norgan (BRI) - Bench: Connell (SFM), Bernard (MXC), Clough (BRI), Knutsen (CRI), Flaccus (TRE), Parrish (MXC), Čalrek (MXC)
Manager of the Year: Gareth Sumner (VIO)

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:36 pm

by **New Sideburn** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 3:00 pm

A strong opening round of fixtures, with most eyes on the Treason and Laith derbies - Chatswood put in some commendable performances against last year’s champions, but today the visitors dominated. Rutger Connacht put in a remarkably good game, scoring a brilliant solo effort that started with a sprint from halfway, then crossing for Schneider to head in at the near post. His former club, South Laithland, lost badly to the Spiders despite going in 1-1 at the break - it took a brace from half-time substitute Bazinho to make the difference, but honestly it probably reflected the flow of the game.

“We’re the red side of Sabrefell!” crowed Chariots supporters as Croft Drinkwater hammered in his second of the match, putting Violence into the break 3-0. Jess Leinster’s free kick found out Urquhart’s flagging pace and beat him to his far post, while the rout was finished . Meanwhile, an unlikely candidate for leading in assists is Catheline Stockinger, the 20-year old left-back, who created four of Parrhesia’s five goals so far, two from set pieces which she’s proving lethal at delivering.

Crisisbless sweep aside South Laithland in emphatic fashion, scoring their eighth of the season and yet to concede. Havelund came very close to breaking that, but an astonishing double save from Diandra Ballard kept Crisisbless in the lead, and they went on to win 2-0. Treason won’t be too concerned at letting Ballard go, however - Russ Miller made easy work of an Athletic attack that managed just three shots on target, none particularly difficult. Bittencourt and Quinn put them to the sword.

Two heavyweights in the league went toe-to-toe and punch for punch. Hosts Treason scored the first, Connacht laying a ball inside for Stokes to smash in a rare goal, but Brinemouth countered with short passing that took Green out of the game and put Norgan one-on-one with Miller. The Polarian made no mistake, nor did Christon from just outside the box, but a superb indirect free kick from Harper saw Bittencourt break ahead of the Brinemouth defence to volley in the equaliser. Sadly for Treason, despite keeping up with the onslaught in the first half, the Dockers dominated the second. Norgan completed his hattrick, and the rout was only finished when Karl Finnan headed in a corner. A firm sign of dominance for Brinemouth, plenty to think about for Treason manager Reinhard Shale.

Southfell’s misery continues, still winless and thoroughly taken apart 5-0 by Crisisbless only a few weeks back. The Wanderers hold them all game, but the winning goal is almost insulting - a five-minute spell of dominance, the only time the Tanners really look in the game, broken on the counter, as Locklear plays former Athletic centre-forward Garfield through on the keeper. The veteran striker makes no mistake, leaving Hennessey rightly fuming at his defence.

Southfell at last gets a first win against a frankly dismal Rochford side. Between them, the teams offer little in the way of excitement, and what momentum the game has following Blake’s headed goal from a cross dies out when Rochford’s Lukas Fallon, the most exciting player on the pitch, is sent off in the 68th minute for a second yellow card.

The only game worth discussing is the 7-3 match in the Mainstream. Like last season’s record scoreline, may as well go goal-by-goal.
12’: After a quiet opening period, the game kicks off when Merson’s cross cuts inside to find Moresby practically unmarked. Poor defending, but it’s actually the deflection off River rightback Quinnan that fools Fitzmarten, who is left cursing his back four. 1-0.
19’: The Fist are up against it, and it takes some smart saves from Cabriolet to keep them ahead. But the breakthrough looks inevitable - Scully bests the entire Fist midfield before laying off a clever forward pass. Kurtis Maxim is no match for the pace of Kenway, who chips over Cabriolet to level the scores. 1-1.
23’: Kenway marks her second soon after - this time Forde who links her up. The attacking midfielder sees a bouncing ball and uses the height to flick it over the Fist’s defence, again caught flat-footed. Cabriolet comes out for it, but Kenway’s faster, and slips the ball into an empty net. 1-2.
28’: The Fist defence simply doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. An indirect free kick for River meets a scuffed clearance from Bertha Stubbs - Brind picks up the ball, then slides it along the left to left-back Marshall, who cuts inside and passes it back for Brind to shoot low, hard and past Cabriolet. 1-3.
35’: The game seems over when Reeve this time makes herself count - in possession on the edge of the box, her assured movement on the ball forces Stubbs and Skelton into retreat, before she cuts inside and lets fly. Cabriolet gets fingers to it but can’t keep it out. 1-4.
42’: The flow of play has quietened, and things seem to be settling - but nobody tells Mainstream leftback Merry Cheney. Running across most of the field in possession, her searching long ball catches Larissa Connolly at the near post, who controls the ball with her first touch and stabs it into the net with her second. 2-4.
52’: There’s a breather for both sides - lasting all of seven minutes, before Reeve coolly half-volleys past Cabriolet to make it 2-5.
58’: 2-6, when a corner from Scully finds Reeve unmarked at the far post for her hattrick.
67’: The Fist start to pull themselves back into the game, Fitzmarten forced into some good saves. He stretches to make another when Connolly’s low, hard shot threatens to creep into his far post, but Merson is there to make the tap-in. 3-6.
81’: But it’s all for nothing. The rout is completed when a cross to substitute Garrett Monaro sees him head it down to Forde, who buries it at close range. 3-7 the final score.

River go two down this time - Walker and Sylver netting in the first half, but a fierce fightback in the second sees the scoreline climb back to 3-2 - one of the best derbies between the two ‘minor’ (used historically, not in the sense of current power - the Chariots are obviously duelling the Moths for supremacy right now) sides of Sabrefell in Premiership history. Parrhesia is stunned 3-0 by Corvette, who have had an air of quiet competence so far this season - this performance showcases the Maulers’ ability to just keep sides on the defensive all game. Parrhesia’s one shot on target came from Cath Stockinger, probably their best player of the campaign so far, and even that was easily dealt with by Cale.

A fifth straight defeat for the Rovers as Southfell United beat them 3-1. All four goals are headed in - a brace from Blake and a diving effort from Brookwood were enough to seal the game, and Fletcher earned a consolation for her team. Meanwhile, an unhappy return to Sabrefell for Daniel Canady - the temperamental striker was one of the few bright spots of Athletic’s 11th-placed season, but while he scores Parrhesia’s goal United still loses, 2-1; worse still, Peter Tomasen is knocked out by a stray foot from Dorne. While not seriously injured, Jason Canter will take his place for two or three weeks.

Many one-sided results this week - the Chariots look unusually meek in a capitulation to North Laithland, while the Moths repeatedly shut out Vermillion while hitting them on the counter, though Gareth Farrell does score from a poorly-defended corner. Goodfeather annihilates Mainstream, picking their defence apart ridiculously - Fist are 4-0 down by the first half, and have to sit back and resign themselves to defeat to avoid a higher scoreline. Meanwhile, Shale look… frighteningly shaky at the back, while Treason destroy them.

Vermillion get annihilated again, this time by Maximum City, a reshuffle of the defence doing more harm than good; Rook Twain was among those rotated in, and after a hattrick from Calrek, Keane and Walker the supporting act, one can assume the 30-year old will be rotated out again. But more shocking is the Treason-North Laithland match; simply put, the Laithlanders didn’t get a look in. To their credit they could well have scored, but two brilliant saves from Miller kept the clean sheet, while Bittencourt and Schneider were rampant as always going forward.

End-to-end stuff at Goodfeather, the Quakers making the rare decision to go for Treason’s throat. It nearly pays off - Rettinger and Ironside each notch up a goal and an assist, while an error from Stock allows Bittencourt to pull one back - but they maintain the lead up until the 87th minute, where a Josephus Flaccus free kick thunders into the upper-right corner.

Pos Team                      P   W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Maximum City             12  11  0  1  26   5  +21  33
  2 Brinemouth               12   9  3  0  24   7  +17  30
  3 AFC Treason              12   7  4  1  22   9  +13  25
  4 Crisisbless              12   8  0  4  20   8  +12  24
  5 Cranequin Wanderers      12   6  4  2  18  10   +8  22
  6 Corvette Maulers         12   7  1  4  15   8   +7  22
  7 North Laithland          12   6  3  3  21  17   +4  21
  8 Sabrefell Moths          12   6  2  4  13  10   +3  20
  9 Sabrefell Athletic       12   6  2  4  16  18   -2  20
 10 West Brinemouth          12   6  1  5  10  12   -2  19
 11 Violence Chariots        12   5  3  4  21  18   +3  18
 12 Raven River              12   5  1  6  19  18   +1  16
 13 Chenoworth Harriers      12   5  1  6  12  13   -1  16
 14 Goodfeather FC           12   4  3  5  13  15   -2  15
 15 Southfell United         12   4  3  5   9  13   -4  15
 16 Parrhesia United         12   4  2  6  12  16   -4  14
 17 Chatswood                12   3  4  5  11  16   -5  13
 18 South Laithland          12   3  4  5  10  15   -5  13
 19 Vermillion Rage          12   3  3  6  18  24   -6  12
 20 Maximum Rovers           12   3  3  6  12  19   -7  12
 21 Cranequin City           12   2  2  8   5  14   -9   8
 22 Mainstream Fist          12   1  3  8  14  29  -15   6
 23 Rochford                 12   0  4  8   5  18  -13   4
 24 AFC Shale                12   0  4  8   7  21  -14   4

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Martella Jazz              12  9  2  1  22   9  +13  29
  2 Chenoworth Rovers          12  8  1  3  19  10   +9  25
  3 Coret Hawks                12  7  3  2  18   8  +10  24
  4 Crossroads Town            12  6  3  3  17  13   +4  21
  5 Sutcroft                   12  5  5  2  16  15   +1  20
  6 Ritter Town                12  5  4  3  18   9   +9  19
  7 Rushe United               12  5  4  3  17  13   +4  19
  8 Iron City                  12  5  4  3  12   8   +4  19
  9 Starling                   12  6  0  6  23  17   +6  18
 10 AFC Integabad              12  5  3  4  10   8   +2  18
 11 Leopolis Hatemongers       12  5  3  4  15  15   +0  18
 12 Crisisbless United         12  5  2  5  21  19   +2  17
 13 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  5  2  5   8   7   +1  17
 14 Extreme Hills              12  4  5  3  17  17   +0  17
 15 Bishop                     12  4  4  4   9  10   -1  16
 16 Cypher Town                12  4  3  5   9  11   -2  15
 17 Brookford Otters           12  3  5  4  17  17   +0  14
 18 Iron United                12  2  7  3  14  22   -8  13
 19 Leichhardt                 12  3  2  7  11  15   -4  11
 20 Newrook City               12  3  2  7  15  22   -7  11
 21 North Sabrefell            12  3  1  8  10  21  -11  10
 22 North Dubstep              12  3  1  8  10  23  -13  10
 23 Boleyn Town                12  2  2  8   8  18  -10   8
 24 Dubstep Rangers            12  0  6  6   8  17   -9   6

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Brill                  12  8  2  2  18   9   +9  26
  2 Strephonage                  12  7  3  2  17  11   +6  24
  3 West Hook                    12  7  1  4  13   8   +5  22
  4 Hackett                      12  7  1  4  22  19   +3  22
  5 Locksley Petty Theft         12  6  2  4  18   8  +10  20
  6 Vermillion Wanderers         12  6  2  4  19  12   +7  20
  7 East Laithland Harriers      12  5  4  3  17  15   +2  19
  8 AFC Serpentine               12  5  4  3  14  14   +0  19
  9 Ox River United              12  5  3  4  17   8   +9  18
 10 Crisisbless Athletic         12  4  6  2  18  11   +7  18
 11 Creed United                 12  5  3  4  15   9   +6  18
 12 Corby Hubris                 12  5  3  4  16  16   +0  18
 13 Gridlock Rovers              12  5  3  4  15  15   +0  18
 14 Sheridan                     12  5  2  5  11  13   -2  17
 15 West Shotgun Turtles         12  3  7  2  17  11   +6  16
 16 Franchise FC                 12  5  1  6  16  13   +3  16
 17 Forge Carpenters             12  4  2  6  10  12   -2  14
 18 FC United                    12  4  2  6  14  19   -5  14
 19 Fenland Albion               12  3  4  5  10  18   -8  13
 20 Inner-East Fairywrens        12  2  5  5   6  12   -6  11
 21 Reckdale Town                12  3  1  8  11  29  -18  10
 22 Chaker Town                  12  2  3  7   9  15   -6   9
 23 Geoff United                 12  1  4  7  13  26  -13   7
 24 Dross Rovers                 12  1  4  7   7  20  -13   7

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:09 pm

Rovers end a streak of 8 winless - Elsa Ashworth coming off the bench to defy the Moths. Shale end a run of 12. Rochford? Their misery continues, but a 2-2 draw with nearby Brinemouth is surely better than they’d have expected.

The Rovers decide they like winning, and North Laithland are ignominiously handed a second 5-0 defeat of the season, this time at home from a side in poor form. After this result, few take them seriously as even dark horses for the title. While a solid performance for the Moths gives them a good and unexpected win over Maximum City, a spirited performance from West Brinemouth nearly holds out against their stronger rivals - but a lapse of concentration late forces Chaucer to take out Norgan in the area to stop him from scoring in the 83rd minute. It’s for naught, as the penalty is coolly converted.

The Maximum derby is a fierce one - it’s set for an exciting open game as the Rovers get the first goal and City are forced to open up, but then a brawl in the 31st minute instigated by a Rovers fan running onto the pitch… Calrek decks the fan, then headbutts Rovers captain Mackenna when she goes along to help things. Fletcher kicks Calrek in the crotch and is held back by Bernard, who probably didn’t intend for Corvette to punch her in the ribs but that’s what happened. Corvette/Fletcher/Calrek are sent off, Mackenna substituted, and nine-man City force an equaliser through Kite in the 68th minute. Rovers have two players sent off for second yellows within the next ten minutes, and the game fizzles out from there. It takes a lot of focus away from an excellent 4-3 Chariots-Wanderers match, but what can you do?

Cranequin, fresh off a leaky defence costing them a 4-3 defeat, participate in yet another seven-goal thriller. All seven are against them. 5-0 at half-time, Reucassel fumes on the touchline and replaces centrebacks Hague and Armstrong, as well as defensive midfielder Chris Metzelder. Surprisingly, the replacements (including Matthias Hindenburg, a leftback played out of his preferred position) do somewhat better, conceding just twice. Still a vicious result, particularly as crosstown rivals Cranequin City manage a spirited 1-0 win over Vermillion.

Treason have historically had uncharacteristic trouble with Rochford - late in the last season Rochford were in the Premiership, Treason were only able to draw 0-0 at home. They just about stumble over the line this time - much has been made of the power of Rachael Green’s right boot, but coming in to attack the centre at a corner, the ball fell to her and the half-volley nearly tore through the net.

Brinemouth came into a match against Sabrefell missing Elaine Blackstock through a thigh injury - suffered in the 4-1 win over South Laithland, most reports predicted her out for three weeks. Starting the 36-year old Cassadagan Kenney with 34-year old Lopez, the decision would cost them - Sabrefell set up to hit them on the counter, and scored twice largely through the explosive pace of their wingers - including a first start for Juninho dos Santos, literally half Kenney’s age, who came up with an assist for Oliver to head in. Brinemouth did score twice of their own - they’ve proven deadly in front of goal - but the Dockers will almost certainly start Daunton next week.

A contentious decision sees the Rovers-Maulers fixture end in a fistfight - Rafferty’s chip for Groves to run on the counterattack from a corner, sprinting about halfway across the pitch before firing low past Middleton, was a clear yard offside, but the linesman never flagged. Britton, Galloglass, Foster, Drake and Middleton himself are all sent off in the fracas - and between poor results and the second fight the Rovers have been involved in of the season (see the tasty Maximum derby) Agincourt is fired two days after the match. Corvette continues to impress, the Rovers appoint assistant Emery Gaston in the interim.

Edmund Agincourt’s sacking avoids a return to Parrhesia, his former club - Gaston clearly has defence in mind, as the Rovers park the bus with a weakened side. Troy Ross, who’s only starting because Middleton decked a guy, concedes and subsequently saves a penalty to keep the scores level.

After a dismal defeat to Goodfeather FC, Ellen Bellamy is sacked as Rochford manager. The team has gone through its first 21 games winless despite some spirited draws, and ultimately even Bellamy conceded a change was due. Taking over leadership - assistant Catheline Farham, who if this luck continues is on course to have the worst record of any manager who has taken multiple seasons in the top flight.

Farham’s first match back in a hot seat is a tough fixture on paper - Crisisbless are in hot form and can boast a young, strong squad. Well… young in theory. In practice 36-year old Lucia Oakwood is rotated back into the squad, but she has a fairly easy time in defence, and opens the scoring with a direct free kick. But Rochford show some of the spirit they’d been lacking in recent weeks, for Justinian Snapdragon to flick an equaliser past Ballard. Still, it can only last for so long, and Crisisbless pull ahead by two in the last ten minutes - still, perhaps a sign of better days ahead. And with the dismal form of their relegation rivals, perhaps Rochford can pull this off?

Week 23 - dress rehearsal for the final matchday. Rochford scratch a draw against Parrhesia, knowing the home fixture they’ll have in a few weeks, while Mainstream will feel hosting Corvette is a winnable fixture… even if they did fail this time around. Shale will hope to take something off the Southrons on their current form, and if it gets much worse the Southrons will be equally relying on a win over Shale - Rovers could well be the final step on Brinemouth’s warpath, while the Smiths and Treason are set to spar - Maximum City won the first fixture through a Parrish free kick, and will want revenge for their final-day heartbreak last season. The Moths’ UICA chances may well rest on a derby against River - this time dispatched of without troubles, but an away fixture might prove more challenging.

Pos Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason              23  14  6   3  40  14  +26  48
  2 Maximum City             23  15  3   5  37  15  +22  48
  3 Brinemouth               23  14  6   3  42  22  +20  48
  4 Violence Chariots        23  14  5   4  45  26  +19  47
  5 Crisisbless              23  13  2   8  33  18  +15  41
  6 Goodfeather FC           23  12  5   6  36  25  +11  41
  7 Sabrefell Moths          23  11  6   6  25  17   +8  39
  8 North Laithland          23  11  5   7  35  33   +2  38
  9 West Brinemouth          23  12  2   9  20  24   -4  38
 10 Corvette Maulers         23  11  2  10  29  26   +3  35
 11 Chatswood                23  10  5   8  23  25   -2  35
 12 Sabrefell Athletic       23   9  5   9  32  35   -3  32
 13 Vermillion Rage          23   7  8   8  31  35   -4  29
 14 Chenoworth Harriers      23   8  5  10  24  29   -5  29
 15 Cranequin Wanderers      23   7  6  10  28  36   -8  27
 16 Southfell United         23   7  6  10  17  25   -8  27
 17 Parrhesia United         23   7  4  12  20  27   -7  25
 18 Raven River              23   7  3  13  28  34   -6  24
 19 South Laithland          23   6  6  11  23  36  -13  24
 20 Cranequin City           23   6  5  12  15  23   -8  23
 21 Maximum Rovers           23   5  7  11  25  32   -7  22
 22 AFC Shale                23   3 10  10  17  27  -10  19
 23 Mainstream Fist          23   4  6  13  29  45  -16  18
 24 Rochford                 23   0  8  15  12  37  -25   8

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chenoworth Rovers          23  18  2   3  39  13  +26  56
  2 Ritter Town                23  12  7   4  36  14  +22  43
  3 Martella Jazz              23  11  6   6  32  25   +7  39
  4 Rushe United               23  10  8   5  37  29   +8  38
  5 Starling                   23  11  3   9  41  29  +12  36
  6 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23  10  6   7  23  13  +10  36
  7 Coret Hawks                23  10  6   7  26  18   +8  36
  8 Leopolis Hatemongers       23   9  6   8  30  30   +0  33
  9 Crossroads Town            23   9  6   8  25  26   -1  33
 10 Iron City                  23   8  8   7  21  16   +5  32
 11 AFC Integabad              23   8  8   7  19  20   -1  32
 12 Crisisbless United         23   9  4  10  31  30   +1  31
 13 Extreme Hills              23   7  9   7  28  29   -1  30
 14 Bishop                     23   7  9   7  17  21   -4  30
 15 Sutcroft                   23   7  9   7  26  31   -5  30
 16 Cypher Town                23   7  8   8  21  22   -1  29
 17 Newrook City               23   8  5  10  26  31   -5  29
 18 Iron United                23   6 10   7  26  33   -7  28
 19 Brookford Otters           23   6  9   8  30  30   +0  27
 20 North Dubstep              23   5  6  12  18  40  -22  21
 21 Leichhardt                 23   5  5  13  19  29  -10  20
 22 Dubstep Rangers            23   3 10  10  16  29  -13  19
 23 Boleyn Town                23   4  7  12  16  30  -14  19
 24 North Sabrefell            23   4  7  12  19  34  -15  19

Pos Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Strephonage                  23  14  6   3  32  15  +17  48
  2 South Brill                  23  12  6   5  32  18  +14  42
  3 Crisisbless Athletic         23  11  8   4  34  18  +16  41
  4 Vermillion Wanderers         23  11  8   4  33  20  +13  41
  5 East Laithland Harriers      23  11  6   6  29  22   +7  39
  6 AFC Serpentine               23  10  6   7  27  23   +4  36
  7 West Hook                    23  11  3   9  22  20   +2  36
  8 Creed United                 23  10  4   9  27  20   +7  34
  9 Franchise FC                 23  10  3  10  29  24   +5  33
 10 Forge Carpenters             23   9  6   8  15  15   +0  33
 11 Hackett                      23   9  6   8  29  30   -1  33
 12 Sheridan                     23   9  6   8  21  24   -3  33
 13 Gridlock Rovers              23   9  5   9  30  31   -1  32
 14 Fenland Albion               23   8  8   7  21  24   -3  32
 15 FC United                    23   9  5   9  26  32   -6  32
 16 Locksley Petty Theft         23   8  6   9  29  24   +5  30
 17 Ox River United              23   7  8   8  24  21   +3  29
 18 Corby Hubris                 23   7  7   9  29  34   -5  28
 19 West Shotgun Turtles         23   5 10   8  23  22   +1  25
 20 Inner-East Fairywrens        23   4  9  10  12  20   -8  21
 21 Dross Rovers                 23   4  9  10  17  29  -12  21
 22 Chaker Town                  23   4  6  13  20  34  -14  18
 23 Geoff United                 23   3  8  12  22  39  -17  17
 24 Reckdale Town                23   4  5  14  19  43  -24  17

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Tue Apr 15, 2014 3:08 am

The Rovers sink to a 1-0 defeat to Cranequin - a few hours after the match, Sutbyrne manager Judith Keller confirms she will take up the Rovers post. The only reason for the delay was that she insisted Sutbyrne be given the time to appoint a successor, which the Rovers are not delighted about because they seemed damn slow about it. Meanwhile, yet another Treason derby ends 2-0 to Treason; the result of three from four now. The result could’ve been worse - a penalty from Harper was saved by Shrike, but it was still all Treason on the night.

But Keller’s reign suffers the ignominy of being on the receiving end of Rochford’s first victory all season. Their counter-attacking tactics simply don’t pay off as Rochford don’t leave themselves open - Cunningham and Newark get the goals. Meanwhile, in the battle between the Uniteds who are both undercutting their season’s expectations, the contest is a remarkably one-sided one; it finishes four-nil.

After their first fixture was a firey 5-2 to Brinemouth away, Treason are far cagier in the second match, unwilling to let Brinemouth anywhere near the goal. It pays off, despite fewer opportunities of their own, and with a Tara Lockdown header in the 85th minute they snatch the three points.

Maximum City are edged 1-0 to Crisisbless at home, and Diandra Ballard between the Crisisbless posts makes all the difference - first, an inspired double save at point-blank from Jess Capulet, followed by a penalty save after Parrish was tripped inside the box - Parrish took the penalty herself, but it was not outstanding, and Ballard managed to claw the ball out for a corner.

A rough homecoming for Georgia Kite - the City striker has on the whole had a successful season, and former club Parrhesia a poor one. But the Saints stun Maximum City by shutting them out with fine defensive work, followed by a quick hit on the counter - well-travelled striker Daniel Canady smashing home past Jelic to give Parrhesia a needed break.

Mainstream haven’t learned from last time. Last time they were beaten 7-3; this time around, the far more conservative 6-2 loss was sufficient for River to put them down. That’s a record for an aggregate scoreline, 20 goals in all. Meanwhile, Maximum City lose their third consecutive match, and haven’t scored in any of them.

A curiously gripping fixture between Shale and Mainstream - both sides really struggling this season, the six-pointer is filled with desperate attacking football. The Fist score two early goals against Shale within the first seventeen minutes, forcing the visitors to open up and really come at Mainstream - two red cards and three scrappy goals (one from and two assisted by Gerhard Driscoll on the right wing) put Shale back in the fight. Matt Well concedes a penalty to deny Moresby an equaliser, but 34-year old backup Ray Alton saves the penalty to leave Shale with a vital win… but without their goalkeeper for the next match.

A dark day for Cranequin - both sides travel out, and between them are beaten 5-0 and 3-0. But all eyes are on the gripping fixture between Crisisbless and Brinemouth, a match with curious parallels to the Mainstream-Shale fixture last week - Crisisbless scoring twice from Lucia Oakwood set pieces, but Brinemouth taking them to the sword with ruthless efficiency in the second half.

Parrhesia have hit a fine vein of form, unbeaten in five coming up to this match… few expected them to make it six, let alone to win, against title chasers Brinemouth away. Meanwhile, Matt Well returns from suspension and has a superb game to deny AFC Treason anything more than a point with a seemingly easy fixture.

Brinemouth leads the table by a point, Treason behind them with a cagey fixture against North Laithland away; but the only goal scored in either match comes from the unlikely source of Chenoworth holding midfielder Kurtis Mallory, coolly firing past Colbright in the aftermath of a corner. Rovers, meanwhile, fought back from 1-0 down at halftime to try to keep out of the relegation battle - but Shale won their match as well, 1-0, and stand eight points from safety - distant, but achievable, with twelve matches to play. Rochford have already thrown in the towel - they only have twelve points, and a dismal display against Corvette sees them taken to pieces.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason              34  20   8   6  52  19  +33  68
  2 Brinemouth               34  20   8   6  60  32  +28  68
  3 Crisisbless              34  21   3  10  54  29  +25  66
  4 Maximum City             34  19   6   9  45  23  +22  63
  5 Violence Chariots        34  18   8   8  67  43  +24  62
  6 Sabrefell Moths          34  17   9   8  40  23  +17  60
  7 North Laithland          34  15  11   8  49  41   +8  56
  8 Goodfeather FC           34  16   7  11  49  39  +10  55
  9 West Brinemouth          34  15   6  13  25  30   -5  51
 10 Corvette Maulers         34  15   3  16  44  47   -3  48
 11 Chatswood                34  13   7  14  33  34   -1  46
 12 Vermillion Rage          34  11  13  10  47  50   -3  46
 13 Parrhesia United         34  13   6  15  30  36   -6  45
 14 Raven River              34  13   5  16  47  47   +0  44
 15 Chenoworth Harriers      34  12   7  15  34  42   -8  43
 16 South Laithland          34  12   6  16  39  47   -8  42
 17 Sabrefell Athletic       34  12   6  16  46  57  -11  42
 18 Southfell United         34  10  11  13  30  36   -6  41
 19 Cranequin Wanderers      34  11   8  15  42  52  -10  41
 20 Maximum Rovers           34  10  10  14  38  44   -6  40
 21 AFC Shale                34   6  14  14  24  38  -14  32
 22 Cranequin City           34   7   9  18  20  39  -19  30
 23 Mainstream Fist          34   6  10  18  44  72  -28  28
 24 Rochford                 34   1   9  24  16  55  -39  12

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chenoworth Rovers          34  23   8   3  53  21  +32  77
  2 Ritter Town                34  20   9   5  56  19  +37  69
  3 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34  16   9   9  37  20  +17  57
  4 Martella Jazz              34  16   9   9  49  37  +12  57
  5 Iron City                  34  14  11   9  33  23  +10  53
  6 Starling                   34  14   8  12  58  40  +18  50
  7 AFC Integabad              34  13  11  10  34  29   +5  50
  8 Crisisbless United         34  14   7  13  51  40  +11  49
  9 Leopolis Hatemongers       34  13  10  11  46  45   +1  49
 10 Extreme Hills              34  12  12  10  42  40   +2  48
 11 Crossroads Town            34  14   6  14  38  42   -4  48
 12 Coret Hawks                34  12  10  12  36  36   +0  46
 13 Rushe United               34  12  10  12  50  55   -5  46
 14 Cypher Town                34  11  10  13  33  37   -4  43
 15 Brookford Otters           34  10  12  12  46  47   -1  42
 16 Bishop                     34  11   9  14  27  35   -8  42
 17 Newrook City               34  12   6  16  38  47   -9  42
 18 Leichhardt                 34  11   7  16  34  39   -5  40
 19 Sutcroft                   34  10  10  14  38  48  -10  40
 20 Iron United                34   8  13  13  35  46  -11  37
 21 North Sabrefell            34   8   9  17  35  53  -18  33
 22 North Dubstep              34   8   8  18  29  61  -32  32
 23 Boleyn Town                34   7  10  17  29  47  -18  31
 24 Dubstep Rangers            34   6  12  16  27  47  -20  30

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Strephonage                  34  21  10   3  49  21  +28  73
  2 Vermillion Wanderers         34  19   9   6  55  31  +24  66
  3 AFC Serpentine               34  16   8  10  50  32  +18  56
  4 Franchise FC                 34  17   5  12  47  33  +14  56
  5 Crisisbless Athletic         34  15  11   8  45  31  +14  56
  6 South Brill                  34  16   8  10  44  30  +14  56
  7 West Hook                    34  17   3  14  33  30   +3  54
  8 Fenland Albion               34  12  15   7  36  33   +3  51
  9 Creed United                 34  14   7  13  40  30  +10  49
 10 Ox River United              34  11  15   8  37  27  +10  48
 11 Gridlock Rovers              34  13   9  12  45  46   -1  48
 12 East Laithland Harriers      34  13   9  12  36  37   -1  48
 13 Corby Hubris                 34  13   9  12  42  44   -2  48
 14 FC United                    34  13   8  13  37  44   -7  47
 15 Sheridan                     34  12   8  14  31  39   -8  44
 16 Locksley Petty Theft         34  11  10  13  46  46   +0  43
 17 Hackett                      34  12   7  15  39  47   -8  43
 18 Forge Carpenters             34  11   6  17  22  31   -9  39
 19 West Shotgun Turtles         34   8  12  14  30  36   -6  36
 20 Dross Rovers                 34   8  11  15  27  42  -15  35
 21 Inner-East Fairywrens        34   8  10  16  20  31  -11  34
 22 Reckdale Town                34   9   5  20  37  64  -27  32
 23 Chaker Town                  34   6  12  16  33  48  -15  30
 24 Geoff United                 34   4  11  19  31  59  -28  23

NSFA CUP

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:35 am

River have had an unlikely eye for dramatic wins this year - just look at their defeats of Mainstream Fist - and the once-forgettable Harry Collingwood has suddenly become beloved of the Rookridge crowd. The show goes on. Meanwhile, Shale have a prime opportunity to close the eight-point gap from safety to five. They blow it - Rovers win 1-0.

The Cranequin derby is an interesting one - both tipped to be in the relegation fight, City with a narrow advantage, but right now the Wanderers seem to have made it out while City are stuck in the mire. That said, they won the home derby 2-0 with goals from Stefan Raleigh and Roy Chalker; Raleigh scores another brace with Griffin scoring a third to leave the visitors with all the points.

West Brinemouth have a perfect opportunity to hamper their local rivals’ title bid - the Gulls have been in stunning form this season, but Brinemouth have been simply on another level. The same proves the case this match - West Brinemouth have 36% possession and a single weak shot on goal, which Colbright saves easily, while Marisa Cronin makes six good saves but it still isn’t enough.

No messing this time in the Maximum derby - City host Rovers, Kite scores twice and Keane finishes the scoreline, Rovers go home. At least there’s no brawl this time (somewhat to the disappointment of neutrals). Athletic and United, both in poor form, both play dreadfully in arguably the worst game of the season - Daniel Bryton beats Grimm at his near post for the away team to snatch the victory, but it’s poor from both aside from that.

Rochford, improbably, chalk up a second win of the season against Violence Chariots. Henriette Cunningham, forcing her way back into the first team after four matches benched, scores from a drilled Fallon cross, while an inability of the Chariots to take their chances combined with a couple of great saves from Daniella Bowen (Carrick, of course, on loan from Violence and ineligible) bring the Chariots to victory.

Rochford actually get the first goal against Treason, going in 1-0 up at half-time to rapturous applause from the audience - sadly, the second half brings stark reality. And also three goals for the defending champions. Meanwhile, a strong attacking performance from Sabrefell Athletic seems to promise victory in the derby against the Moths, but defending - at first stout, near the end desperate - denies the reds their victory at the Barbarossa.

Vermillion against Violence has always had a reputation as a great match to watch - those that did enjoyed a terrific match, Jess Ritter’s chip over Rosenfeld opening the score but a fierce comeback from the home side forcing the scoreline up to 3-1 by the end of the first half. Leinster threatened a comeback with a lightning bolt from the edge of the box in the 82nd minute, but Gareth Farrell’s diving header from a fine corner ended the Chariots’ hopes.

Sabrefell Athletic’s season has once again clearly become a transitory one - but Miriam Aragon can draw some pride in her team’s performance today, entering the break 2-1 down at home. But one of the youngest teams in the competition (they both are, for that matter) came out all guns blazing in the second half - Sarracena notched up two assists in basically identical fashion, playing Dorne through the defence and one-on-one with the goalkeeper, while a low pass from 33-year old Bramwell found Dorne, eleven years her junior, in a position to seal a memorable hattrick.

Many top teams look incredibly poor against strugglers - Rochford and Cranequin City both chalk up away victories against North Laithland and Maximum City respectively, which would have been a great help had they not already been all but relegated (Rochford actually are mathematically down by now). A defiant performance from Southfell United sees them defeat Treason as well, though they owe much to goalkeeper Roy Hennessey’s performances.

City lose another game against an easily winnable fixture - Mainstream Fist securing the win with Larissa Connolly, who beat Jelic at his near post. With that, their title hopes are likely scuppered - Treason and Crisisbless both win, though Corvette hold Brinemouth nil-all. And after these results, the bottom four are all confirmed - Cranequin City falling 1-2 to Chatswood with a faint air of unfulfilled promise.

Treason and Brinemouth play the big Sabrefell teams (humour me - I’m talking about Athletic, not the Chariots, who draw Maximum City 1-1). Treason struggle mightily, but Asger Stubbs’ team is fighting hard to stay in the Globe Cup places, and after being under the cosh for the first thirty-five minutes claw their way back into the game, and are, while not dominant, good enough for a goal - Martell passes through the Treason midfield to Asquith, whose cross is low and hard for Peter Oliver to smash into the net with his forehead. Meanwhile, across the city, a listless Athletic totally capitulates to Brinemouth, whose first-choice front five (Norgan, Watt, Musni, Christon and Mathias) utterly rip the reds apart at the Barbarossa. Treason struggle as hard as they can, but the Moths’ experienced back line (none younger than 28) holds them - and they can only watch helplessly as Brinemouth win the title at Athletic.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               45  27  10   8  76  38  +38  91
  2 AFC Treason              45  25  12   8  72  30  +42  87
  3 Crisisbless              45  27   6  12  67  36  +31  87
  4 Maximum City             45  25   8  12  60  31  +29  83
  5 Sabrefell Moths          45  22  12  11  49  29  +20  78
  6 Violence Chariots        45  21  13  11  77  52  +25  76
  7 Goodfeather FC           45  21  11  13  64  50  +14  74
  8 North Laithland          45  19  14  12  66  59   +7  71
  9 Chatswood                45  19   9  17  47  49   -2  66
 10 Parrhesia United         45  18  10  17  41  47   -6  64
 11 Vermillion Rage          45  16  15  14  67  68   -1  63
 12 Chenoworth Harriers      45  18   9  18  50  51   -1  63
 13 West Brinemouth          45  18   8  19  30  43  -13  62
 14 Raven River              45  18   7  20  64  61   +3  61
 15 South Laithland          45  18   7  20  58  62   -4  61
 16 Corvette Maulers         45  19   4  22  57  62   -5  61
 17 Sabrefell Athletic       45  16   8  21  57  73  -16  56
 18 Maximum Rovers           45  13  13  19  46  55   -9  52
 19 Southfell United         45  12  15  18  35  47  -12  51
 20 Cranequin Wanderers      45  12  11  22  47  69  -22  47
 21 AFC Shale                45   9  14  22  30  49  -19  41
 22 Cranequin City           45  10  11  24  28  50  -22  41
 23 Mainstream Fist          45   9  13  23  52  83  -31  40
 24 Rochford                 45   3  10  32  22  68  -46  19

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 Chenoworth Rovers          45  31  10   4  73  26  +47  103
  2 Ritter Town                45  25  10  10  64  26  +38   85
  3 Martella Jazz              45  22  11  12  72  51  +21   77
  4 Iron City                  45  20  13  12  48  36  +12   73
  5 AFC Integabad              45  20  11  14  46  38   +8   71
  6 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45  19  13  13  51  33  +18   70
  7 Starling                   45  19  10  16  77  52  +25   67
  8 Brookford Otters           45  17  13  15  64  55   +9   64
  9 Bishop                     45  17  13  15  42  42   +0   64
 10 Coret Hawks                45  17  12  16  47  51   -4   63
 11 Crisisbless United         45  17  10  18  60  55   +5   61
 12 Extreme Hills              45  16  13  16  57  57   +0   61
 13 Leopolis Hatemongers       45  16  13  16  55  59   -4   61
 14 Crossroads Town            45  17   8  20  47  55   -8   59
 15 Cypher Town                45  15  13  17  42  48   -6   58
 16 Newrook City               45  16   9  20  49  57   -8   57
 17 Leichhardt                 45  16   8  21  47  53   -6   56
 18 Sutcroft                   45  14  13  18  51  61  -10   55
 19 Rushe United               45  15  10  20  62  75  -13   55
 20 Iron United                45  13  15  17  46  56  -10   54
 21 North Dubstep              45  13   9  23  43  74  -31   48
 22 North Sabrefell            45  11  11  23  44  68  -24   44
 23 Dubstep Rangers            45   9  17  19  38  62  -24   44
 24 Boleyn Town                45   7  11  27  31  66  -35   32

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Wanderers         45  25  13   7  78  44  +34  88
  2 Strephonage                  45  23  14   8  58  31  +27  83
  3 West Hook                    45  24   5  16  52  36  +16  77
  4 Crisisbless Athletic         45  21  12  12  61  42  +19  75
  5 Franchise FC                 45  21  10  14  56  39  +17  73
  6 AFC Serpentine               45  19  14  12  62  45  +17  71
  7 Creed United                 45  20  10  15  53  38  +15  70
  8 Fenland Albion               45  18  16  11  46  43   +3  70
  9 Ox River United              45  17  17  11  56  41  +15  68
 10 Corby Hubris                 45  19  11  15  54  54   +0  68
 11 South Brill                  45  18  11  16  52  44   +8  65
 12 Gridlock Rovers              45  18  10  17  57  57   +0  64
 13 FC United                    45  17  12  16  47  54   -7  63
 14 East Laithland Harriers      45  17  10  18  55  56   -1  61
 15 Sheridan                     45  16  12  17  44  50   -6  60
 16 Forge Carpenters             45  16   8  21  37  44   -7  56
 17 Locksley Petty Theft         45  14  13  18  58  64   -6  55
 18 Hackett                      45  14  12  19  46  57  -11  54
 19 Reckdale Town                45  13   8  24  51  78  -27  47
 20 Dross Rovers                 45  10  15  20  38  60  -22  45
 21 Geoff United                 45  10  13  22  49  76  -27  43
 22 Inner-East Fairywrens        45   9  15  21  26  41  -15  42
 23 West Shotgun Turtles         45   9  15  21  35  52  -17  42
 24 Chaker Town                  45   6  16  23  37  62  -25  34

NSFA CUP FINAL -- WEST BRINEMOUTH vs. VERMILLION RAGE

West Brinemouth, in the tail end of a brilliant season that has seen them far overreach hopes of merely avoiding relegation to be solidly midtable throughout the season. More than respectable for a side quickly gaining a reputation as fierce scrappers who excel in passing around their opponents patiently - more interested in retaining possession than making risky passes. Marlena Skase is prevented from facing her old club through an ankle injury from the last game, but aside from that they can name their best squad, with Earl Johnstone retaining his place as cup goalkeeper. They’ve had a curious run-up; a breezy win in the second round over Bishop followed by a 5-0 crushing of Chenoworth Harriers away, a 4-1 mauling of Goodfeather paving the way for a quarter-final berth against… Geoff United. Dispatching of them and Shale 5-2 and 4-2 on aggregate respectively, they’re worthy finalists.

Vermillion Rage have had an unremarkable season - their cup run has been their only high point. Despite a comparable league season, Vermillion are the favourites by a margin through all the bookmakers. Gareth Farrell is in poor form - Lukas Hunter makes a rare start, as does designated cup goalkeeper Twain. Dynamic, fast and attack-minded, Vermillion is everything the Gulls are not, except for colours - they will be in their black and red away kits, somewhat more intimidating than the pink change strips of their opponents. Their second-string teams stumbled past Hackett and Rochford, but as cup glory became closer to reality (and their league position slid towards mediocrity) blazed brightly to put North Laithland away 4-1, Cranequin Wanderers 4-0 on aggregate before recording a 3-0 aggregate scoreline over Corvette.

The match, held, of course, at a packed Farham Arena, starts quietly - Brinemouth retaining possession and causing Vermillion some problems, Steed Curtis lashing in a couple of crosses that go nowhere and are easily gathered by Twain. It takes twelve minutes for the first shot on goal, but that’s a real threat - Lukas Hunter heading a long ball on to Riff, who beats Finch and shoots low and hard - beating Johnstone, but just wide of the post. Riff looks frustrated, but Chaucer is furious at the rest of the defence - Johnstone is actually quite mild.

But it’s the Gulls who make their chance count. Ninian Locksmith makes his strength noted, despite being outnumbered by three centrebacks - this becomes two when Madden draws away to move towards Carrick on the wing, but Carrick’s short pass is stabbed to Ninian Locksmith as Madden is caught out in no-man’s land. The big centre-forward turns under heavy pressure and forces a side-footed pass across the goalmouth; Twain is flat-footed, and Steed Curtis slides at the ball two-footed and follows it into the net.

Vermillion were a shambles at the back, but their power at the front threatened to equalise; Emma Cass’ ball control takes her through Chaucer and she fires fiercely across goal - Johnstone hopelessly flails for it, but it barely goes wide. And a scything Harriet Avery ball threatens from out wide, but Johnstone has a fairly easy save in the end. And the half rather petred out after a while - West Brinemouth with the last chance of the half, but Olenna Carrick’s strong shot is easily held by Rook Twain at his near post.

The second half didn’t seem to promise much, but the Gulls generally seemed to carry the upper hand. The first sign of danger for Vermillion was a string of corners - five consecutive, in all, with a rather annoyed-looking Carrick taking them all. The first threatened, but was dealt with by Yorkinho. The second was a bit rubbish, glancing off Dalglish and bouncing out, while the third, hit to Kanye Mourinho as he ran into the box, took a massive deflection off substitute left midfielder Jayce Casamore. Chaucer rises well to meet the fourth, but Hunter just gets there ahead of him to head it over, while the fifth is finally dealt with by Twain, who seems as fed up as everyone else and comes far out to leap and claim it.

But Brinemouth get a deserved second in the 71st minute. Again it’s Ninian Locksmith the key man, off the shoulder of Yorkinho and catching a lobbed pass from Kanye Mourinho on his chest, smoothly controlling it and going past the captain, slotting coolly past Twain. Once again, poor defending on the most important match of Vermillion’s season letting them down, but one could argue that that doesn’t give enough credit to the outstanding Locksmith. The striker nearly set up a third, taking position and flicking on at the far post, but Carrick couldn’t make it to convert.

Still - the Gulls held out, desperately at times as the Rage threw everything at them… but in the end, it was Daniel Chaucer lifting the trophy, as West Brinemouth’s fantastic season comes to a climax.

West Brinemouth 2 - 0 Vermillion Rage

by **New Sideburn** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:54 am

FINAL MATCHDAY
Brinemouth vs. Maximum Rovers
Cranequin Wanderers vs. Chenoworth Harriers
Cranequin City vs. Sabrefell Athletic
Rochford vs. Parrhesia United
Mainstream Fist vs. Corvette Maulers
West Brinemouth vs. Crisisbless
Violence Chariots vs. Chatswood
Vermillion Rage vs. Goodfeather FC
AFC Treason vs. Maximum City
Southfell United vs. North Laithland
Raven River vs. Sabrefell Moths
South Laithland vs. AFC Shale

One match left. The title was secure - Brinemouth’s, no matter their result against the Rovers, had won it after last week’s results. But now, there were four other UICA places to fight for, including a Champion’s Cup place - Treason needed to equal Crisisbless to stay in second, but faced off against fourth-placed Maximum City, who had had their own championship taken from them in the final matchday of last season… by Treason, at that. Crisisbless would face Cup champions West Brinemouth at the Volkstadion, as the Gulls brought out an unchanged team to that which beat Vermillion 2-0 in the Final. Meanwhile, Violence Chariots needed to beat Chatswood and hope Raven River could get a result against the Moths if they were to take the final UICA spot.

The night began in emphatic fashion; within three minutes, two goals had been scored. A lightning bolt from Tanya Bottlegreen opened the scoring for the Harriers within 67 seconds, while it took just 152 for North Laithland’s Damien Arragne to volley home an opener. Also early on in the matches, relegated Cranequin City put up a show of defiance against Sabrefell Athletic, miscommunication between Hugh Grip and goalkeeper Harry Grimm lead to Stefan Raleigh rounding both and tapping into an empty net. But the first result of the UICA battle was a crucial one - AFC Treason’s Cheney Portsmouth, the Youth Cup finalist deputising for the injured Harper, feeding Cheney Bittencourt a low, slashing cross which the Sideburnese international coolly converted for his twenty-fourth of the season; keeping Treason second, and putting Bittencourt above Darek Norgan in the fight for the Iron Boot with twenty-four goals.

The Moths knew they needed to win to make sure they stayed fifth - but they buckled under the pressure. Smooth attacking movement saw Scully’s cross nodded down from Garrett Monaro to Theodora Kenway, who rifled home from point-blank range. On the right, Cheney Kavanagh’s positioning had been indecisive - playing both of River’s strikers onside. As news floods through the Scythes that the Moths have fallen, the Chariots’ attacks intensify as the crowd cheers them on - only a stunning double save from Alhambra Shrike kept the scores nil-all. Soon afterwards, in the twenty-ninth minute, Rochford’s Lukas Fallon struck home past Parrhesia’s Peter Tomasen. They held onto their lead - while still a record low points tally, and easily relegated, they at least avoided equalling the lowest wins total - Franchise FC went through their only Premiership season with just three.

River struck home a second goal soon after, Joscelyn Scully stroking home a fine shot past Connell. It’s often stated how River’s two best players, Scully and Fitzmarten, were both underappreciated at the Moths and Athletic and have flourished since their transfer - Scully’s goal against her former club placed the initiative firmly with the Chariots, who were still struggling to beat Shrike in the Chatswood goal. The Moths’ first real chance of the game came soon afterwards, but Fitzmarten made a flying parry to defy Fran Sadler’s header.

Two goals from Sabrefell Athletic within the last five minutes of the first half put paid to Cranequin City, but aside from that most games ended the first forty-five minutes quietly.

In the second half, Daniel Brunet (evidently frustrated with a flat performance from the team) had brought in Jess Capulet for William Calrek, who has begun to show his age and is no longer in the red-hot form of prior years. And in a risky move, Markos Thames comes on for the veteran Audioslav Jack Walker. These dramatic changes are not the typical expectation of a team that will finish fourth no matter what - as Brunet later remarked, “I wanted revenge.”

It paid immediate dividends. Thames, marauding down the right flank, floated a cross to the far post that Russ Miller came out to punch. Keane took control and smashed it at the goalmouth, but it caromed off Rachael Green’s back and out for a corner. The corner came to Georgia Kite, who headed fiercely downwards, but Miller caught it in his chest gratefully.

It was Violence that made their breakthrough now - and in a hideous moment of bad fortune for Chatswood, though no more than the Chariots deserved. A fierce cross whipped in by Leinster was misjudged by Acy Flynn, and the ball soggily bounced away from the helpless Alhambra Shrike. The fight had gone from Chatswood - after a fine save at a comfortable height for Thrace from a Charlemagne strike, that would be the last shot on target the Woodsmen made.

Crisisbless, finally, made the breakthrough they’d threatened. A smart pass from Khan played Keast through on the goalkeeper, and hesitation coming off her line from Marisa Cronin made the job easy, the Apoxian showing real composure to slot it into the back corner of the net. Relief through Crisisbless, though they still needed Treason to flounder - and shortly after they got a second goal, Lara Galloway hooking a shot against the crossbar that Cheney Scherzer dashed up and headed in while leaping backwards, a dynamic bit of athleticism.

Then, it happened. Maximum City made the breakthrough. The Treason defence had been trying to maintain their shape after a massive attack on them from both flanks, and Eloise Parrish managed to find the gap - the smallest gap between Allbeck and Green exposed with an incredible pass. Capulet ran onto it and lashed the ball in across Miller, and it rebounded into the net off the inside of the far post.

That moment secured the league table as it stood - West Brinemouth did pull one back, just their 31st of the season, from a moment of picking through the Crisisbless defence ending in a diving header from Locksmith to meet a skilful lob direct, beating Ballard through sheer power - and despite a 1-1 draw to Maximum Rovers, Brinemouth were still champions. And it would be Crisisbless joining them in the Champion’s Cup, while Treason, Maximum City and Violence Chariots all competing in the UICA Cup.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               46  27  11   8  77  39  +38  92
  2 Crisisbless              46  28   6  12  69  37  +32  90
  3 AFC Treason              46  25  13   8  73  31  +42  88
  4 Maximum City             46  25   9  12  61  32  +29  84
  5 Violence Chariots        46  22  13  11  78  52  +26  79
  6 Sabrefell Moths          46  22  12  12  49  32  +17  78
  7 Goodfeather FC           46  21  11  14  66  53  +13  74
  8 North Laithland          46  19  15  12  68  61   +7  72
  9 Vermillion Rage          46  17  15  14  70  70   +0  66
 10 Chatswood                46  19   9  18  47  50   -3  66
 11 Raven River              46  19   7  20  67  61   +6  64
 12 Chenoworth Harriers      46  18  10  18  52  53   -1  64
 13 South Laithland          46  19   7  20  59  62   -3  64
 14 Parrhesia United         46  18  10  18  41  48   -7  64
 15 West Brinemouth          46  18   8  20  31  45  -14  62
 16 Corvette Maulers         46  19   4  23  57  64   -7  61
 17 Sabrefell Athletic       46  17   8  21  59  74  -15  59
 18 Maximum Rovers           46  13  14  19  47  56   -9  53
 19 Southfell United         46  12  16  18  37  49  -12  52
 20 Cranequin Wanderers      46  12  12  22  49  71  -22  48
 21 Mainstream Fist          46  10  13  23  54  83  -29  43
 22 AFC Shale                46   9  14  23  30  50  -20  41
 23 Cranequin City           46  10  11  25  29  52  -23  41
 24 Rochford                 46   4  10  32  23  68  -45  22

TOP SCORERS
24 - C. Bittencourt (TRE)
23 - D. Norgan (BRI)
22 - C. Drinkwater (VIO)
19 - A. Rettinger (GDF), G. Kite (PAR), T. Kenway (RVR), E. Schneider (TRE)
18 - E. Havelund (SLA)
17 - R. Ironside (GDF), D. Arragne (NLA), G. Farrell (VRR), J. Ritter (VIO)
16 - B. Helmensun (CHH), A. Dorne (SFA)
15 - C. Scherzer (CRI), E. Khan (CRI), L. Connolly (MSF), D. Canady (PAR), E. Cass (VRR)
14 - T. Bryson (CHT), J. Moresby (MSF), N. Reeve (RVR)
13 - P. Kelly (CVM), D. Groves (CVM), O. Keast (CRI), C. Muscat (SLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Cheney Bittencourt (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Kunibert Mathias (BRI)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Diandra Ballard (CRI)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Horæk (BRI), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Knutsen (CRI), Mathias (BRI), Khan (CRI), Connacht (TRE); Bittencourt (TRE), Norgan (BRI) - Bench: Ballard (CRI), Bernard (MXC), Stockinger (PAR), Harper (TRE), Flaccus (TRE), Parrish (MXC), Drinkwater (VIO)
Manager of the Year: Russ Austin (WBR)

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 Chenoworth Rovers          46  32  10   4  75  26  +49  106
  2 Ritter Town                46  26  10  10  67  26  +41   88
  3 Martella Jazz              46  22  11  13  73  53  +20   77
  4 Iron City                  46  21  13  12  50  36  +14   76
  5 AFC Integabad              46  21  11  14  47  38   +9   74
  6 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  19  14  13  52  34  +18   71
  7 Starling                   46  19  11  16  78  53  +25   68
  8 Coret Hawks                46  18  12  16  48  51   -3   66
  9 Brookford Otters           46  17  13  16  64  56   +8   64
 10 Extreme Hills              46  17  13  16  58  57   +1   64
 11 Bishop                     46  17  13  16  42  43   -1   64
 12 Crisisbless United         46  17  11  18  61  56   +5   62
 13 Leopolis Hatemongers       46  16  14  16  56  60   -4   62
 14 Newrook City               46  17   9  20  51  57   -6   60
 15 Crossroads Town            46  17   8  21  47  57  -10   59
 16 Cypher Town                46  15  13  18  42  50   -8   58
 17 Rushe United               46  16  10  20  64  76  -12   58
 18 Leichhardt                 46  16   8  22  47  54   -7   56
 19 Sutcroft                   46  14  14  18  52  62  -10   56
 20 Iron United                46  13  15  18  46  58  -12   54
 21 North Dubstep              46  13  10  23  44  75  -31   49
 22 North Sabrefell            46  11  12  23  45  69  -24   45
 23 Dubstep Rangers            46   9  18  19  39  63  -24   45
 24 Boleyn Town                46   7  11  28  31  69  -38   32

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Wanderers         46  26  13   7  81  44  +37  91
  2 Strephonage                  46  24  14   8  60  31  +29  86
  3 West Hook                    46  25   5  16  57  37  +20  80
  4 Crisisbless Athletic         46  22  12  12  62  42  +20  78
  5 Franchise FC                 46  21  10  15  57  42  +15  73
  6 Ox River United              46  18  17  11  59  43  +16  71
  7 AFC Serpentine               46  19  14  13  62  47  +15  71
  8 Creed United                 46  20  10  16  53  39  +14  70
  9 Fenland Albion               46  18  16  12  46  44   +2  70
 10 South Brill                  46  19  11  16  55  45  +10  68
 11 Corby Hubris                 46  19  11  16  55  57   -2  68
 12 Gridlock Rovers              46  19  10  17  58  57   +1  67
 13 FC United                    46  18  12  16  48  54   -6  66
 14 East Laithland Harriers      46  18  10  18  58  57   +1  64
 15 Sheridan                     46  16  12  18  44  51   -7  60
 16 Hackett                      46  15  12  19  48  57   -9  57
 17 Forge Carpenters             46  16   8  22  37  45   -8  56
 18 Locksley Petty Theft         46  14  13  19  60  67   -7  55
 19 Dross Rovers                 46  11  15  20  39  60  -21  48
 20 Reckdale Town                46  13   8  25  52  83  -31  47
 21 Geoff United                 46  10  13  23  49  78  -29  43
 22 Inner-East Fairywrens        46   9  15  22  26  42  -16  42
 23 West Shotgun Turtles         46   9  15  22  35  55  -20  42
 24 Chaker Town                  46   7  16  23  38  62  -24  37

South Parrhesia were promoted to the Second Division after a strong campaign - the 42-year old Brenecian international Aldous Huckerby announcing his retirement for the second time after securing the championship. In contrast, the rest of the squad is largely local talent, and they are predicted to do solidly in the Second Division.
Project +90 also got promoted in their first season - despite their youth, they enjoyed a successful season against often semi-professional opponents, and have found several new prospects on the way to promotion. They will likely struggle, but should stay clear of relegation next season.

by **New Sideburn** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:15 pm

BRENECIAN LEAGUE - 335 SEASON REVIEW

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Marque                   38  22   7   9  62  36  +26  73
  2 Kingsgrove               38  20  12   6  59  34  +25  72
  3 Lotus Park               38  22   6  10  58  48  +10  72
  4 Northern Union           38  21   7  10  56  29  +27  70
  5 South Rathia             38  19   8  11  52  34  +18  65
  6 Rozelle                  38  16  12  10  59  40  +19  60
  7 North Hall               38  15  14   9  40  32   +8  59
  8 Ridgeway United          38  17   8  13  50  45   +5  59
  9 Pikemouth                38  16  10  12  43  37   +6  58
 10 North Rathia             38  15  10  13  45  51   -6  55
 11 Westpike                 38  15   6  17  33  40   -7  51
 12 Southside Wanderers      38  15   5  18  50  53   -3  50
 13 Falkner United           38  11  11  16  46  49   -3  44
 14 Rozelle United           38  11   9  18  43  61  -18  42
 15 Sutbyrne                 38  11   7  20  41  48   -7  40
 16 Saint Alexander          38  10   9  19  29  40  -11  39
 17 Mount Roland             38   9  12  17  22  39  -17  39
 18 Rosbank Town             38  10   8  20  34  50  -16  38
 19 Platwood                 38   7  11  20  30  64  -34  32
 20 Westpike United          38   6  12  20  31  53  -22  30

Pos Team                   P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Gallant Cross         38  21  11   6  63  39  +24  74
  2 Scaffield             38  20   5  13  59  33  +26  65
  3 Francisca Orient      38  17  12   9  63  41  +22  63
  4 Snowden River         38  17  10  11  51  43   +8  61
  5 Thrush Central        38  16  12  10  61  47  +14  60
  6 Saint Wessex          38  17   8  13  50  40  +10  59
  7 Region                38  15  13  10  46  42   +4  58
  8 Garfield              38  15  10  13  35  41   -6  55
  9 Fort Keller           38  13  14  11  44  43   +1  53
 10 Glassfields           38  13  12  13  54  56   -2  51
 11 Dalgallen             38  13  12  13  43  49   -6  51
 12 Hooker Ridge          38  14   8  16  46  47   -1  50
 13 Chafford              38  11  15  12  38  34   +4  48
 14 Thriss Valley         38  12  11  15  47  52   -5  47
 15 Reave City            38  12  10  16  53  58   -5  46
 16 Crest                 38  12   9  17  38  46   -8  45
 17 Shenworth             38  12   7  19  40  45   -5  43
 18 Envy River            38   9  12  17  36  50  -14  39
 19 Jackdaw River         38   8  10  20  33  65  -32  34
 20 Swayback              38   8   9  21  42  71  -29  33

335 Crown Cup

Brenecia (BRE) qualifiers
Champions’ Cup: Marque
Globe Cup: Kingsgrove, Lotus Park, Northern Union

CEdC: Marque, Rosbank Town

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:11 pm

SEASON PREVIEW 336

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Brinemouth               46  27  11   8  77  39  +38  92
 2 Crisisbless              46  28   6  12  69  37  +32  90
 3 AFC Treason              46  25  13   8  73  31  +42  88
 4 Maximum City             46  25   9  12  61  32  +29  84
 5 Violence Chariots        46  22  13  11  78  52  +26  79
 6 Sabrefell Moths          46  22  12  12  49  32  +17  78
 7 Goodfeather FC           46  21  11  14  66  53  +13  74
 8 North Laithland          46  19  15  12  68  61   +7  72
 9 Vermillion Rage          46  17  15  14  70  70   +0  66
10 Chatswood                46  19   9  18  47  50   -3  66
11 Raven River              46  19   7  20  67  61   +6  64
12 Chenoworth Harriers      46  18  10  18  52  53   -1  64
13 South Laithland          46  19   7  20  59  62   -3  64
14 Parrhesia United         46  18  10  18  41  48   -7  64
15 West Brinemouth          46  18   8  20  31  45  -14  62
16 Corvette Maulers         46  19   4  23  57  64   -7  61
17 Sabrefell Athletic       46  17   8  21  59  74  -15  59
18 Maximum Rovers           46  13  14  19  47  56   -9  53
19 Southfell United         46  12  16  18  37  49  -12  52
20 Cranequin Wanderers      46  12  12  22  49  71  -22  48
21 Mainstream Fist          46  10  13  23  54  83  -29  43
22 AFC Shale                46   9  14  23  30  50  -20  41
23 Cranequin City           46  10  11  25  29  52  -23  41
24 Rochford                 46   4  10  32  23  68  -45  22

 1 Chenoworth Rovers          46  32  10   4  75  26  +49  106
 2 Ritter Town                46  26  10  10  67  26  +41   88
 3 Martella Jazz              46  22  11  13  73  53  +20   77
 4 Iron City                  46  21  13  12  50  36  +14   76
 5 AFC Integabad              46  21  11  14  47  38   +9   74
 6 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  19  14  13  52  34  +18   71
 7 Starling                   46  19  11  16  78  53  +25   68
 8 Coret Hawks                46  18  12  16  48  51   -3   66

TOP SCORERS
24 - C. Bittencourt (TRE)
23 - D. Norgan (BRI)
22 - C. Drinkwater (VIO)
19 - A. Rettinger (GDF), G. Kite (PAR), T. Kenway (RVR), E. Schneider (TRE)
18 - E. Havelund (SLA)
17 - R. Ironside (GDF), D. Arragne (NLA), G. Farrell (VRR), J. Ritter (VIO)
16 - B. Helmensun (CHH), A. Dorne (SFA)
15 - C. Scherzer (CRI), E. Khan (CRI), L. Connolly (MSF), D. Canady (PAR), E. Cass (VRR)
14 - T. Bryson (CHT), J. Moresby (MSF), N. Reeve (RVR)
13 - P. Kelly (CVM), D. Groves (CVM), O. Keast (CRI), C. Muscat (SLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Cheney Bittencourt (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Kunibert Mathias (BRI)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Diandra Ballard (CRI)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Horæk (BRI), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Knutsen (CRI), Mathias (BRI), Khan (CRI), Connacht (TRE); Bittencourt (TRE), Norgan (BRI) - Bench: Ballard (CRI), Bernard (MXC), Stokes (TRE), Harper (TRE), Flaccus (TRE), Parrish (MXC), Drinkwater (VIO)
Manager of the Year: Russ Austin (WBR)

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:13 pm

by **New Sideburn** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:11 am

336 Season - Matchdays 1-12

A good Brinemouth derby to kickstart the season - the reigning champions win a straightforward game 2-0, West Brinemouth managing just two shots on target that are both easily saved by Tana Colbright. But the first goal of the season is stroked home by Daniel Canady, a sweetly struck low drive past Grubiša Jelić to open the scoring in a game that finishes two-all. There’s a few surprises, too - Iron City takes out Ritter in a scrappy game at Swordgarden, Esther Sullivan smashing the ball past Cunningham at point-blank, Chenoworth Rovers getting off to an early lead with a victory over Vermillion, the Wanderers winning an early six-pointer against Southfell United and strangest of all - Sabrefell Athletic scoring four goals in the second half to smash Goodfeather.

Vermillion Rage get a manner of revenge after last year’s cup final, beating West Brinemouth 2-1, while Violence Chariots lead for sixty minutes against Brinemouth - all of their new free agent signings excel, and it’s Locke who plays Stanislava Hertz past Brinemouth’s defence for the Falcanian to rifle it home. But Brinemouth’s dominant strikeforce puts two past Asger Thrace with a seeming inevitability - already, they look at their formidable best.

Vadim Illich-Svitych makes his first start of the season after the 32-year old took a knock in preseason. It seems a torrid game against the Harriers until Illich-Svitych leaps to meet a Miller cross and knock it down to Havelund, who buries it past King. Immediately he becomes a favourite with the travelling fans - “He’s big! He’s game! We can’t pronounce his name! POLAR LAAAD”

Ritter have been slow to get off their feet, with a defeat to Iron, a 4-0 hiding from Chatswood and a 2-2 draw with Cranequin Wanderers, but delivers a right thumping to Chenoworth Rovers, 3-0. With Cascronin out from a calf strain, it’s left for 33-year old Scabbard and 20-year old Keller to combine for the first two goals, each with one goal and one assist, while a swerving long shot from Callan puts a deserved third in the net.

Surprisingly, Parrhesia have emerged as one of the form teams of the league so far, drawing with Maximum City in the first week, and this is their third win in three matches. Chenoworth get the first goal through Kinsman but Parrhesia dominate from then on. People thought the team’s high turnover rate would mean they’d take a while to click, but as Canady strokes home a low Mahoney cross this doesn’t seem to be the case.

And Parrhesia get their fourth win in a row, taking out West Brinemouth with relative ease. Brinemouth chalk up their third in a row in emphatic fashion, a Norgan hattrick smashing South Laithland 5-1. Iron City, meanwhile, have picked up some solid results - Parrhesia’s only defeat so far, a six-pointer in the first week against Ritter Town, and now the crowning achievement; a stalwart defensive performance and a spectacular drive from Connor Church in the 81st minute.

Maximum City had lost three in a row to put an early dent in their title hopes, but a breezy away win over the Harriers restores some confidence. Aside from that, it’s a fairly unremarkable week, the highlight being Parrhesia’s winning streak put to an end 3-1 against local rivals Vermillion, their defensive vulnerabilities exposed and this time without them having the firepower to cope.

Chatswood brush aside Corvette in a bad day at the office for Bryan Veldt, who fumbles the third goal into his net and is caught flat-footed with the ball at his feet for the fifth. Meanwhile - he’s come home. The 36-year old Gerhard Thunder scores his first goal for the Moths in his third appearance as a substitute, though he’s not yet started. Now one of the very slowest players in the league, but his strength is nearly intact, and it’s all there as he rises to head in a Rook Asquith cross that salvages a draw against the Stallions.

My god. First, the Laithland derby. Two goals in the first half from the hosts put down the Spiders, Illich-Svyitch and Morgan Cheswick both scoring their firsts - it’s the South’s first win, and the North only have one of their own. Then, Athletic put themselves back on the map with a manic ferocity - River, and former Athletic goalkeeper Kurtis Fitzmarten, were annihilated 5-0 at the Barbarossa, with a young Athletic squad playing aggressive, fast, short-passing football. Five goals - but nine could be found in Corvette, the Maulers putting seven past a hapless Paul Rothner, who couldn’t really be blamed for any of them. A stunning week of football.

Corvette seem in a slight lull after their 7-2 demolition of the Wanderers, slumping to a bore draw with Chenoworth Rovers, a couple smart saves from Bryan Veldt making up somewhat for his error-prone performance two weeks ago. But if River are shocked by their 5-0 defeat to Athletic, they didn’t let it show - Brinemouth came to an early lead through a Watt goal, but Theodora Kenway fit a brace into ten minutes, both clean strikes just outside the box. Daniella Strauss equalised in the 75th minute, but Jacinth Deighton stabbed a corner over the line in the 78th, and thanks to some great work from Fitzmarten, River survived.

The first Chenoworth derby back in the top flight in quite some time. In footballing terms it’s not a classic, Storin coolly converting a penalty in the 62nd, but there’s plenty of violence - Harrier’s Clint Byron was sent off on a second yellow giving up that penalty, a ‘stray’ elbow from Markus makes blood stream from Storin’s nose and ironically it’s the Mallories on both teams (unrelated) that are both sent off for an altercation in the 82nd minute. Meanwhile, Vermillion carry on their superb form with a tenth win of the season, utterly smashing Crisisbless 4-1 at home. Former Crisisbless man Gareth Farrell heads home two, perhaps in an attempt to show them that they were wrong to let him go. Out of respect, however, he keeps those thoughts to himself, and his celebrations are muted.

Cranequin are expected to have their backs to the wall this season, but few expected a win over Treason that will live long in the memory. They were simply smashing the Stags into exhaustion all over the pitch, pressing relentlessly, and in the seventy-second minute an inspired triple substitution gives the Wanderers the edge - Koerner, Conomore and 19-year old Kendall all come on, and it’s Conomore who scores both goals on the break for Wanderers - the Wanderers had just five shots all game, three on target, but the young striker made no mistake with his own chances.

Pos Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Rage          12 10  0  2  28  14  +14  30
  2 Violence Chariots        12  9  1  2  22   8  +14  28
  3 Brinemouth               12  8  1  3  25  14  +11  25
  4 Crisisbless              12  7  3  2  14  10   +4  24
  5 Parrhesia United         12  7  2  3  24  17   +7  23
  6 Goodfeather FC           12  7  1  4  22  18   +4  22
  7 Raven River              12  7  1  4  19  17   +2  22
  8 Sabrefell Athletic       12  5  5  2  20  14   +6  20
  9 Chatswood                12  6  1  5  17  11   +6  19
 10 Corvette Maulers         12  5  4  3  21  19   +2  19
 11 AFC Treason              12  6  1  5  16  14   +2  19
 12 Chenoworth Rovers        12  4  5  3  12  13   -1  17
 13 Maximum City             12  4  4  4  15  14   +1  16
 14 Chenoworth Harriers      12  4  3  5  12  14   -2  15
 15 Sabrefell Moths          12  4  2  6  14  15   -1  14
 16 West Brinemouth          12  4  1  7   9  14   -5  13
 17 Ritter Town              12  3  3  6  18  18   +0  12
 18 Martella Jazz            12  3  3  6  13  18   -5  12
 19 Iron City                12  3  2  7   8  13   -5  11
 20 Cranequin Wanderers      12  3  2  7  14  26  -12  11
 21 Maximum Rovers           12  2  4  6   8  17   -9  10
 22 Southfell United         12  2  2  8   8  18  -10   8
 23 South Laithland          12  1  4  7   7  18  -11   7
 24 North Laithland          12  1  3  8  10  22  -12   6

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Extreme Hills              12  7  3  2  24  13  +11  24
  2 Leichhardt                 12  6  4  2  10   7   +3  22
  3 Crisisbless United         12  5  6  1  23  15   +8  21
  4 Vermillion Wanderers       12  6  3  3  15   7   +8  21
  5 Newrook City               12  6  3  3  13   7   +6  21
  6 Cypher Town                12  6  3  3  16  11   +5  21
  7 AFC Integabad              12  6  2  4  17  12   +5  20
  8 Bishop                     12  6  1  5  13  12   +1  19
  9 Starling                   12  5  4  3  13  12   +1  19
 10 West Hook                  12  5  3  4   7   7   +0  18
 11 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  5  2  5  11   7   +4  17
 12 Coret Hawks                12  4  4  4  12  10   +2  16
 13 Sutcroft                   12  3  7  2  10  11   -1  16
 14 Brookford Otters           12  5  1  6  12  16   -4  16
 15 AFC Shale                  12  3  6  3  19  16   +3  15
 16 Rushe United               12  4  3  5  19  17   +2  15
 17 Strephonage                12  4  3  5  13  16   -3  15
 18 Crossroads Town            12  3  5  4  11  13   -2  14
 19 Rochford                   12  4  2  6   7  11   -4  14
 20 Crisisbless Athletic       12  4  1  7  14  21   -7  13
 21 Leopolis Hatemongers       12  2  6  4   9  12   -3  12
 22 Cranequin City             12  3  2  7  10  13   -3  11
 23 Iron United                12  1  5  6   6  16  -10   8
 24 Mainstream Fist            12  1  1 10   7  29  -22   4

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine               12  7  4  1  21   8  +13  25
  2 Franchise FC                 12  7  2  3  16  10   +6  23
  3 North Dubstep                12  7  2  3  13  10   +3  23
  4 Creed United                 12  6  4  2  19  10   +9  22
  5 Sheridan                     12  6  4  2  11   8   +3  22
  6 East Laithland Harriers      12  6  2  4  14   8   +6  20
  7 Locksley                     12  6  2  4  21  17   +4  20
  8 Fenland Albion               12  6  2  4  17  13   +4  20
  9 Ox River United              12  6  2  4  16  12   +4  20
 10 North Sabrefell              12  5  5  2  16  12   +4  20
 11 Hackett                      12  6  1  5  22  21   +1  19
 12 Boleyn Town                  12  4  6  2   8   7   +1  18
 13 South Brill                  12  5  2  5  14  13   +1  17
 14 FC United                    12  4  4  4  10  10   +0  16
 15 South Parrhesia              12  4  3  5  13  16   -3  15
 16 Forge Carpenters             12  3  4  5  14  14   +0  13
 17 Dubstep Rangers              12  3  4  5  17  18   -1  13
 18 Gridlock Rovers              12  3  4  5  11  12   -1  13
 19 Project +90                  12  3  3  6   7  20  -13  12
 20 Dross Rovers                 12  1  8  3  13  16   -3  11
 21 Inner-East Fairywrens        12  2  3  7   6  16  -10   9
 22 Reckdale Town                12  2  2  8  11  19   -8   8
 23 Corby Hubris                 12  1  4  7  12  19   -7   7
 24 Geoff United                 12  2  1  9  13  26  -13   7

by **Nephara** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:17 pm

Martella will be left wondering how they managed to choke this one away. It was a free-flowing game between two attacking sides, but it was Martella who closed out the first half up by two - Dieter Morgan’s low cross making an easy chance for Harrington to smash in, before Anderson’s thirty-yard shot was powered past Hennessey. The United goalkeeper denied several chances more to keep the score down, but in the second half Parrhesia took the game back to the visitors - they’d had seven shots already but the time the first came on target, but it was coolly converted by Canady. The centreforward was then felled in the area by Baston, and converted the penalty himself, before Erin Camden hooked a direct free kick over the wall and past a flat-footed Shrewe. Three shots on target to Martella’s nine, yet they made them all count.

Brinemouth’s vulnerability at the back is exposed for all to see - despite a lucky first goal from a superb Mathias strike, City pump them for three goals before the end of the first half, superior physicality harrying them all around the pitch while the back four stays solid. A spectacular diving save from Jelic palms away a Norgan shot late in the first half, and early in the second Brinemouth do pull one back, this time through Christon - but it’s Michael Keane with the final word, a shot from space just outside the box crashing against the underside of the crossbar and in past Colbright.

North Laithland have had a fairly wretched start to the season, but when they found themselves five goals up by the 60th minute, they thought they had their match against Chatswood in the bag. But Charlemagne dragged the ball past Jayce Pence for what looked like a consolation before a Beckett strike, and then Charlemagne’s second, pulled the deficit back to two. But Chatswood couldn’t finish the comeback - a sigh of relief around the Bluegrass when Damian Arragne completed his hattrick in the 83rd minute, and the scores finished 6-3.

Brinemouth make rather a meal of finishing Iron City, through a combination of stalwart defending, solid goalkeeping, bad luck and poor finishing. Norgan is pulled after his first genuinely bad game of the season, and his replacement, Strauss, gives McFadden an assist on a golden platter - the strike is converted, and Brinemouth escape with the points.

After such a good start, Vermillion found themselves winless in five, which they ended here today against Athletic. Lazuli, who hadn’t scored at all since the streak started, netted both goals - Athletic, by contrast, were profligate, and by the time they forced Rosenfeld into much of a save it was already too late.

Rage swept aside 3-0 by River. Brinemouth beating ten-man Chatswood by the same result. Ritter Town annihilated by Treason, Cheney Bittencourt scoring a hattrick. And Parrhesia’s defensive frailties were excruciatingly highlighted by a masterclass attacking display by Violence, Hennessey constantly left exposed and forced into a couple of staggering saves to keep down the scoreline. All these decisive results, and by comparison the most significant matchup on paper, the six-pointer between Cranequin and Iron to keep safe, ended 1-1, both sides deadlocked.

Brinemouth and Crisisbless clash, as do the two giants of Sabrefell, the biggest derby in the nation even if the stature of both sides has been diminished of late. Both matches end one-all, the hosts scoring first, and it’s hard to argue either was an unfair result. It’s an opportunity for the Smiths, Stags and Chariots to steal a march on the other UICA contenders, and all of them do win their games.

Cranequin have been on a great run of form recently, and a scrappy point against the reigning champions is just what they needed. Brinemouth’s goals are both things of beauty, fast, aggressive maneuvres culminating in Norgan, then Musni, sweeping the ball past a hopelessly exposed Paul Rothner. The Wanderers have Pritchard head in a corner and Garfield smash a long throw from Bowyer into the net. Meanwhile, the Moths show their uppity local rivals who the real giants of Sabrefell are, crushing River 4-1 at home.

Southfell get turned over again. The away fans think they have the first goal against Maximum City, but it’s rightfully disallowed for offside. Even then they think, by the 80th minute, that they’re holding out against one of the strongest teams in the league, but Rinehart senselessly smashes Capulet’s legs from under her in the box - the penalty is converted, Southfell remain winless since the 14th match.

Cranequin’s good run is put to a violent end, West Brinemouth truly putting them to the sword. Freuen, only with his fourth start of the season, finally gets his first goal - in fact, he gets a brace, Steed Curtis notching the third. Still - it was an encouraging run while it lasted for Cranequin, while the win was nice to see from the Gulls, who had been flirting with danger.

Another win for the Gulls lifts them out of the danger zone. Martella and Iron both chalk up wins as well, and Cranequin manage a draw against Vermillion. These results, Iron’s win having come at the expense of the Moths, put the green side of Sabrefell just two points from the bottom four. Meanwhile, as both halves of Brinemouth take on both halves of Chenoworth, it’s the Lazuli Coast that takes all the honours - West Brinemouth grinds out a 1-0 win through Olenna Carrick, and the Harriers evaporate against Brinemouth, losing 5-0.

Pos Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               23  16  3   4  55  25  +30  51
  2 Violence Chariots        23  14  3   6  42  24  +18  45
  3 Maximum City             23  13  6   4  36  19  +17  45
  4 Goodfeather FC           23  14  2   7  38  31   +7  44
  5 AFC Treason              23  13  4   6  38  24  +14  43
  6 Crisisbless              23  11  8   4  29  20   +9  41
  7 Vermillion Rage          23  11  6   6  37  27  +10  39
  8 Raven River              23  11  4   8  36  34   +2  37
  9 Sabrefell Athletic       23   9  8   6  33  29   +4  35
 10 Parrhesia United         23  11  2  10  39  43   -4  35
 11 Chatswood                23  10  4   9  31  28   +3  34
 12 Corvette Maulers         23   9  5   9  33  37   -4  32
 13 North Laithland          23   8  6   9  31  30   +1  30
 14 Chenoworth Rovers        23   7  6  10  20  25   -5  27
 15 Chenoworth Harriers      23   7  5  11  25  34   -9  26
 16 Sabrefell Moths          23   6  7  10  27  29   -2  25
 17 South Laithland          23   6  7  10  23  29   -6  25
 18 West Brinemouth          23   7  4  12  19  25   -6  25
 19 Martella Jazz            23   7  4  12  30  37   -7  25
 20 Iron City                23   6  6  11  16  25   -9  24
 21 Cranequin Wanderers      23   6  5  12  29  48  -19  23
 22 Ritter Town              23   6  4  13  31  40   -9  22
 23 Maximum Rovers           23   5  6  12  22  39  -17  21
 24 Southfell United         23   3  5  15  13  31  -18  14

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Extreme Hills              23  13  7   3  42  21  +21  46
  2 Leichhardt                 23  13  7   3  24  13  +11  46
  3 Starling                   23  12  6   5  36  21  +15  42
  4 Newrook City               23  13  3   7  29  17  +12  42
  5 Cypher Town                23  12  5   6  33  19  +14  41
  6 Crisisbless United         23  11  6   6  36  26  +10  39
  7 Vermillion Wanderers       23  11  4   8  29  18  +11  37
  8 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23  10  6   7  24  14  +10  36
  9 AFC Integabad              23  10  6   7  27  23   +4  36
 10 Rochford                   23   9  4  10  18  17   +1  31
 11 Bishop                     23   9  4  10  22  25   -3  31
 12 West Hook                  23   9  4  10  15  21   -6  31
 13 AFC Shale                  23   7  9   7  28  22   +6  30
 14 Brookford Otters           23   9  3  11  21  30   -9  30
 15 Cranequin City             23   8  5  10  25  23   +2  29
 16 Coret Hawks                23   7  7   9  20  23   -3  28
 17 Sutcroft                   23   6  9   8  18  25   -7  27
 18 Crisisbless Athletic       23   7  5  11  22  30   -8  26
 19 Rushe United               23   7  5  11  31  41  -10  26
 20 Crossroads Town            23   5 10   8  23  28   -5  25
 21 Leopolis Hatemongers       23   6  7  10  20  29   -9  25
 22 Strephonage                23   6  5  12  24  40  -16  23
 23 Mainstream Fist            23   4  5  14  18  40  -22  17
 24 Iron United                23   3  6  14  13  32  -19  15

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Franchise FC                 23  15   4   4  34  17  +17  49
  2 Sheridan                     23  14   5   4  25  13  +12  47
  3 AFC Serpentine               23  13   6   4  39  17  +22  45
  4 North Sabrefell              23  13   6   4  36  21  +15  45
  5 Creed United                 23  10   9   4  30  19  +11  39
  6 Dross Rovers                 23   9  11   3  37  23  +14  38
  7 Boleyn Town                  23  10   8   5  20  17   +3  38
  8 North Dubstep                23  11   4   8  19  20   -1  37
  9 Ox River United              23   9   7   7  26  21   +5  34
 10 Hackett                      23   9   6   8  36  32   +4  33
 11 Locksley                     23  10   3  10  33  34   -1  33
 12 Gridlock Rovers              23   8   7   8  28  26   +2  31
 13 Fenland Albion               23   9   4  10  28  27   +1  31
 14 East Laithland Harriers      23   8   6   9  22  20   +2  30
 15 South Parrhesia              23   8   6   9  27  30   -3  30
 16 Dubstep Rangers              23   8   5  10  27  29   -2  29
 17 South Brill                  23   7   4  12  26  35   -9  25
 18 Forge Carpenters             23   5   8  10  21  25   -4  23
 19 FC United                    23   5   8  10  18  23   -5  23
 20 Geoff United                 23   7   2  14  27  40  -13  23
 21 Inner-East Fairywrens        23   5   6  12  13  27  -14  21
 22 Project +90                  23   5   6  12  16  37  -21  21
 23 Reckdale Town                23   5   4  14  21  38  -17  19
 24 Corby Hubris                 23   2   7  14  18  36  -18  13

NSFA CUP

by **Nephara** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:38 am

The second Brinemouth derby of the season sees the Gulls scrape a point. Chaucer and Finch defended simply superbly in the heart of defence to keep the score down. Meanwhile, the Tanners really need a win against Cranequin. They lead for 70 minutes and then blow it, Olga Pardew smashing a long shot past Whitlam, and soon after the game Clint Hemingway is axed.

Sometimes, Brinemouth will be Brinemouth. The Chariots, missing first-choice centreback Hikari through suspension, brought in young Glorian international Daniel Cox. Brinemouth had a full-strength team, deployed them all and scored three goals in the first five minutes. They then scored another three goals between the 38th minute and the end of the first half. Violence had had their own chances, but there wasn’t much that could be done. That is, until the 63rd minute, when Croft Drinkwater swept in a low Leinster cross for 6-1. Then a thunderbolt from Murdoch made it 6-2. The away fans began sarcastically to chant of how the comeback was on, and indeed another from Drinkwater made it 6-3 by the 70th minute, but the score would stay the same. An insane match. By comparison, the Maximum derby was fairly muted - none of the fistfights that marked last season’s.

A third successive 2-0 win for Ritter is a big lift for them, and if this form keeps up safety might well be guaranteed sooner rather than later. The importance was increased further when two of these wins came against other relegation battlers - Iron City two weeks ago, and a listless Cranequin today. Meanwhile, if Violence are terribly affected by their match against Brinemouth, it’s not showing - away from home against Treason, they win comfortably enough, 2-1 despite a couple of late scares.

Mick Halloran loses his third match as interim manager of three played, but the team has at least done a little better. Southfell announce shortly afterwards he is to be made full manager. Nobody says outright that this is due to lack of takers, but the implication is there. Anyway - it’s not the worst idea people have ever had.

And Violence are right back into insane scorelines, this time 7-3 against Sabrefell Athletic. Undeniably, this is Athletic’s highlight of the season - for a moment they get to relive their time as giants of the capital. Meanwhile, Mick Halloran’s Southfell pick up a point hosting Brinemouth, and could have won but for Tana Colbright saving Blake’s penalty, won by Volker.

Southfell pick up a win against the Moths of all people - Volker, who has been great these past few matches, smashes a strike past Connell from just outside the box. Meanwhile, Athletic go from strength to strength - fierce enough in attack to put seven past Violence, they now hold out for a 1-0 away win against Treason - a free kick deflection off Tachibana falling kindly and being smashed in by Kellow for the only goal, Seward and Miller both making a few great saves.

The Quakers’ season has been exceptional in a quiet kind of way - Cranequin have been quietly rubbish. They don’t manage a single shot on goal against Goodfeather in a 3-0 defeat, and get just 28% possession. It’s a truly awful performance from the Wanderers, a sublime one for Goodfeather, especially in midfield - though one wonders if they couldn’t have saved a performance like that for a better team.

Cranequin come right back swinging, Russ Reucassel making five changes to the team beaten by Goodfeather - they take the fight straight to Crisisbless, who are two goals down in the first ten minutes. Keast is a one-man army up front, smashing one past Rothner in the 41st and lobbing a second over him in the 44th, but Cranequin score a third as Daniel Pritchard rises above everyone to head in a vital corner.

Treason and City might be the two fiercest rivals outside of geographical grounds - they’ve denied one another in consecutive final days, and what was already a match between two very strong defensive teams now has a lot more edge to it. In a match that sees Didier Bernard collect a gash over his eye that results in him needing to be substituted for Pryor, there are few clear-cut chances, and Miller and Jelic are equal to those that do make it on goal. It ends nil-all. In far more open matches, Brinemouth (4-0), Violence (3-0) and Crisisbless (5-2) all win, seeming to score freely. A point gained for both teams feels more like two lost.

Chenoworth Rovers and Corvette seem evenly-matched on paper, and it’s 1-1 by the break. Then Erik Rogalski, who’d had a quiet game before that, nets a hattrick, and Molly Breen gets the fifth goal for a maiming that came out of nowhere. At the top of the table, Brinemouth and Crisisbless both lose, and Violence nearly drop points as well - Ritter toe-pokes the ball past Alhambra Shrike in the 87th minute to take the three points in a very even game.

Martella are unbeaten in four after a victory over the Moths - with Southfell, Cranequin and the Jazz all improving in form, it’s set to be a tight relegation battle this season. Which is welcome - it’s been a while. The Treason and Chenoworth derbies both end 1-0, Chatswood racking up two red cards by the end of the match, and it took some great defending to keep that score down.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               34  22   7   5  79  37  +42  73
  2 Maximum City             34  18  11   5  49  26  +23  65
  3 Violence Chariots        34  20   5   9  61  44  +17  65
  4 Crisisbless              34  17  11   6  47  30  +17  62
  5 Goodfeather FC           34  18   4  12  55  46   +9  58
  6 AFC Treason              34  17   6  11  52  36  +16  57
  7 Vermillion Rage          34  16   8  10  52  42  +10  56
  8 Raven River              34  16   7  11  52  44   +8  55
  9 Sabrefell Athletic       34  14  12   8  51  39  +12  54
 10 North Laithland          34  13   9  12  48  42   +6  48
 11 Chatswood                34  13   7  14  39  40   -1  46
 12 Chenoworth Rovers        34  13   7  14  37  38   -1  46
 13 Parrhesia United         34  12   7  15  50  59   -9  43
 14 Corvette Maulers         34  12   7  15  44  60  -16  43
 15 Sabrefell Moths          34  10  11  13  39  39   +0  41
 16 West Brinemouth          34  10  10  14  28  34   -6  40
 17 Ritter Town              34  10   8  16  43  51   -8  38
 18 Martella Jazz            34  10   8  16  42  50   -8  38
 19 Chenoworth Harriers      34  10   7  17  37  51  -14  37
 20 Maximum Rovers           34   8  12  14  36  52  -16  36
 21 Iron City                34   9   7  18  24  42  -18  34
 22 Cranequin Wanderers      34   9   7  18  41  67  -26  34
 23 South Laithland          34   7  11  16  32  45  -13  32
 24 Southfell United         34   5   9  20  18  42  -24  24

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Crisisbless United         34  19   7   8  62  37  +25  64
  2 Extreme Hills              34  18   8   8  60  39  +21  62
  3 Leichhardt                 34  18   8   8  35  20  +15  62
  4 AFC Integabad              34  18   7   9  44  29  +15  61
  5 Starling                   34  16   9   9  49  35  +14  57
  6 Newrook City               34  17   6  11  43  29  +14  57
  7 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34  15   9  10  34  23  +11  54
  8 Coret Hawks                34  15   8  11  37  32   +5  53
  9 Cypher Town                34  14   8  12  42  31  +11  50
 10 Bishop                     34  14   6  14  34  37   -3  48
 11 Leopolis Hatemongers       34  12  11  11  40  39   +1  47
 12 AFC Shale                  34  12  10  12  44  41   +3  46
 13 Vermillion Wanderers       34  13   7  14  41  39   +2  46
 14 West Hook                  34  13   7  14  23  30   -7  46
 15 Rochford                   34  12   9  13  26  25   +1  45
 16 Brookford Otters           34  13   6  15  31  44  -13  45
 17 Cranequin City             34  12   8  14  39  37   +2  44
 18 Sutcroft                   34   9  12  13  31  42  -11  39
 19 Strephonage                34  10   8  16  41  59  -18  38
 20 Crisisbless Athletic       34  10   7  17  33  46  -13  37
 21 Mainstream Fist            34   8  10  16  32  52  -20  34
 22 Rushe United               34   8   7  19  45  65  -20  31
 23 Iron United                34   7   9  18  22  41  -19  30
 24 Crossroads Town            34   6  11  17  31  47  -16  29

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Franchise FC                 34  19  10   5  47  23  +24  67
  2 Sheridan                     34  18  11   5  38  20  +18  65
  3 North Sabrefell              34  18  10   6  54  33  +21  64
  4 AFC Serpentine               34  17  10   7  57  32  +25  61
  5 Creed United                 34  15  13   6  46  27  +19  58
  6 Dross Rovers                 34  15  13   6  53  36  +17  58
  7 North Dubstep                34  17   4  13  33  36   -3  55
  8 Locksley                     34  16   5  13  53  46   +7  53
  9 Boleyn Town                  34  13  11  10  27  26   +1  50
 10 Dubstep Rangers              34  14   6  14  39  36   +3  48
 11 East Laithland Harriers      34  13   7  14  33  35   -2  46
 12 Hackett                      34  12   8  14  47  50   -3  44
 13 Fenland Albion               34  13   5  16  44  48   -4  44
 14 South Parrhesia              34  11  11  12  38  42   -4  44
 15 Ox River United              34  11  10  13  33  34   -1  43
 16 South Brill                  34  11   6  17  40  52  -12  39
 17 Project +90                  34  10   9  15  32  52  -20  39
 18 Gridlock Rovers              34   9  10  15  37  42   -5  37
 19 Forge Carpenters             34   8  12  14  30  35   -5  36
 20 Reckdale Town                34  10   6  18  35  51  -16  36
 21 Geoff United                 34  10   6  18  37  55  -18  36
 22 Corby Hubris                 34   8  10  16  33  44  -11  34
 23 Inner-East Fairywrens        34   8   7  19  19  39  -20  31
 24 FC United                    34   6  12  16  25  36  -11  30

NFA CUP

It’s a tight affair between Corvette and Chenoworth, the only one between two Premiership clubs - Corvette edge the first leg but can’t make their advantage count, while the Harriers pass the ball into the net for the only goal in the second, relying on some great saves from young Pearce Brice. South Laithland and Rhagant Schadenfreude is a masterclass in direct, but not necessarily defensive play - Illich-Svyitch makes four assists from their six goals without scoring. The Southrons scoring first in both matches forces Rhagant to open up and makes for two very exciting fixtures - still, the Laithlanders make it through, and deservedly. Second Division Fenland Albion resist Chatswood valiantly in the first game, clinging to a 1-0 lead for dear life before Chatswood simply outlasted them and smashed them in the last ten minutes, before a free-scoring 3-3 draw lands the Woodsmen’s way. Recently-promoted Strephonage are simply not good enough for a second-string Goodfeather side, though they do score at home. All three lower-division teams make their exits, but they can all - Fenland especially - carry themselves with pride.

The Southrons smash two early goals home against Chenoworth, and hold out for the rest of the game - the Harriers score from a direct free kick, but cup goalkeeper Reece Benedict, who should have saved the set piece, makes up for it with a series of great saves. To their credit, the Laithlanders try to attack and get the goal at home that would probably nearly seal it, and the Harriers obviously needed to - neither side can break through, and the Laithlanders progress to the final.
Goodfeather try to retain possession against Chatswood, but are hit twice on the quick counter, Vince Riggs proving exceptional in holding midfield in the first leg. He’s fine in the second, too, but this time Goodfeather have the better of things - still, it goes to penalties. Jayce Bell of Chatswood saves one and sees Rettinger’s penalty skied, but three superb saves from 20-year old Isadora Caravella wins it for the Quakers.

by **Nephara** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 11:23 pm

Cranequin get one goal early, a snap shot by Garfield stabbed past Miller. A second, from Sanders, is ruled out (rightfully) for offside. They hold out as best they can - sadly, it’s not well enough, as Schneider smashes in a floated cross with his head in the 62nd minute, and with a sense of inevitability the second goal comes after eight more minutes - it’s in impressive style, though, Connacht smashing the ball past Rothner at an extremely narrow angle. A deserved result, but the Wanderers will still feel as though they’ve let it slip.

South Laithland are in trouble pretty badly - second from bottom, a victory over Cranequin overtakes them. Marilyn Peterson is warming up into great form late in the season, denying a couple of clear-cut Wanderers chances, but it’s a tried and true formula for the Southrons to get their one goal. Grey corner. Illich-Svyitch knock-down. Havelund buries it. They overtake Iron and Cranequin, but are a point shy of Rovers in 20th - they lose to Brinemouth today.

Maximum City come to Brinemouth, needing victory to make up ground in the title race. Their plan is simple - sit back. It nearly works, and a dull first half looks to be winding down to a close - but Pennant and Bernard are split open by a stunning forward ball from Watt, and Musni slides in to bury the ball. The second half opens up massively, because City need to score - they manage it quickly, Stewart looking uncharacteristically uneasy under pressure from Capulet, and his poor pass to Breton is easily cut out by Donagh. A chip into the box is met by Kite, unmarked, who spectacularly volleys it into the net. City sense momentum, and keep pressing - they get their reward when Michael Keane finds space, gets into a good position and smashes the ball into the bottom-left corner, well past Colbright’s reach, but their openness costs them soon afterwards - a Musni cross to Norgan forces Pennant to bring him down from behind, a straight red. No luck, though - Mathias just converts the direct free kick, and it finishes two-all.

Martella were safe for now, but they need further results to stay safe. Brinemouth show no mercy in the hunt for the title, even with a moderately rotated squad, and it’s backup rightback Rook Logan with the first assist - low cross seemingly aimed for Norgan, but it’s cut shorter than the Jazz defence expected and it’s an unmarked Watt who smashes it past Shrewe for the first goal. Watt assists the second, straightforward for Norgan to sweep in, then scores his second in the 40th minute - a spectacular volley. Martella deign to get their first shot on target in the 53rd minute, but Colbright smothers it, smashes it downfield, 2v2, Norgan lays it off for Musni to blast it into the empty net. By the time Clough gets on the scoresheet with a neat chip over Shrewe, the game’s been dead and buried for half an hour. It’s especially bad for Martella. Most of their direct rivals win - Iron shuts down the Smiths 2-0 at Swordgarden, the Rovers clinch a 4-2 victory over Goodfeather away and South Laithland scrape a win over the Gulls.

The Stallions and the Harriers both need a win to steer clear of relegation. Tough luck to both. Cunningham and King are both in fantastic form, Cunningham making the more saves but a magnificent close-range double save from King is the highlight of the night. The ball does end buried in the bottom of the net, and it’s Ritter Town’s net, but Helmunsen’s goal is disallowed for offside - narrowly, but rightfully.

Martella steadied the ship last week with a respectable 1-0 defeat to Goodfeather. Then Crisisbless came at home, attacked from the first whistle, and Keast ratchetted up a hattrick. Diandra Ballard’s only real error of the season came at a fairly insignificant time - a tame shot from Anderson slipped slowly under her - but Crisisbless just shrugged and knocked in two more. A win for Ritter makes Martella’s position even more precarious - a win over the Chariots in Sabrefell, no less, won by a brace from young Felix Keller.

Two more relegation clashes end in cagey 1-0 wins - Cranequin have the better of their game, but can’t get it together in the final third, and Iron score a poorly-defended corner through Vauxhall’s head. For their part, the Harriers’ dominance is rewarded with a goal - Helmensun thundering a close shot past Middleton for the only goal. Theodora Kenway, meanwhile, solidifies her last-ditch bid for the Golden Boot - she gets all four as River brush aside Vermillion Rage, and she does manage the left-right-head full hattrick. The latter perhaps a surprise given her 5’9” frame, but one of her attributes that has blossomed this season is an ability to leap like a salmon.

South Laithland and Ritter cancel each other out - Cranequin and Iron also scratch points against midtable teams, and even Southfell gets on the board, all results 1-1. This matchday sees six 1-1 draws in all, including the Sabrefell derby - a game that starts open but after red cards in the 60th and 63rd minutes, one to either team, shuts down at that scoreline. The only relegation battlers to win or lose are the Harriers and Jazz respectively, Jazz just hopeless in defence despite some optimistic attacking.

Maximum City face another defeat today, this time to Vermillion - and Violence also go two down by the twentieth minute. But they strike back firmly, managing five goals by the 80th minute, Drinkwater alone smashing in three. But with two more goals, Luton scores her own hattrick, and it goes right down to the wire. Harrington finds himself through on goal, but pressure from Lovelock behind makes him scuff the shot. Thrace, wrong-footed, manages to right himself in time to smother the ball gratefully - and with a long ball out, the Chariots have won. As far as the title race goes, though - it’s all over. Brinemouth, as more or less anyone expected, make short work of Cranequin. The champions have defended their title.

The title is in the bag for Brinemouth. Good thing, too - Corvette beasted them 5-1 out of nowhere. Fletcher gets on the scoresheet early with a bullet header from a cross, and a superb long shot from Halloran beats Colbright. Christon pulls one back in the 31st with a neat strike that clips the underside of the crossbar, but Fletcher marks her second six minutes later. There’s two goals in the second half - both going to Corvette to seal an amazing victory, albeit against a somewhat weakened side.

It appears to have started a trend. Violence get eviscerated by Crisisbless - their commitment to the attack has not always benefited them this season - while the same scoreline sees the Rovers desperately claw themselves out of the relegation zone with a heroic victory over Sabrefell Athletic. The defeat aside, Athletic can be happy with their season - they were good, though inconsistent, and seem to have some of their familiar attacking flair back. But there’s just one match left to go...

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               45  28  11   6  102  51  +51  95  Champions
  2 Violence Chariots        45  28   6  11   82  57  +25  90
  3 Crisisbless              45  24  15   6   67  34  +33  87
  4 AFC Treason              45  24  10  11   71  45  +26  82
  5 Maximum City             45  21  16   8   61  38  +23  79
  6 Raven River              45  21  12  12   69  51  +18  75
  7 Vermillion Rage          45  22   9  14   66  55  +11  75
  8 Sabrefell Athletic       45  19  15  11   65  52  +13  72
  9 Goodfeather FC           45  20   7  18   67  64   +3  67
 10 North Laithland          45  16  13  16   61  57   +4  61
 11 Sabrefell Moths          45  15  13  17   48  49   -1  58
 12 Chenoworth Rovers        45  16  10  19   48  53   -5  58
 13 Corvette Maulers         45  16  10  19   57  70  -13  58
 14 West Brinemouth          45  14  14  17   36  40   -4  56
 15 Chatswood                45  14  12  19   48  55   -7  54
 16 Chenoworth Harriers      45  15   9  21   52  65  -13  54
 17 Parrhesia United         45  14  10  21   59  75  -16  52
 18 South Laithland          45  12  14  19   45  54   -9  50
 19 Ritter Town              45  11  13  21   57  69  -12  46
 20 Maximum Rovers           45  11  13  21   51  70  -19  46
 21 Martella Jazz            45  11  12  22   59  80  -21  45
 22 Iron City                45  11  11  23   31  56  -25  44
 23 Cranequin Wanderers      45  11  10  24   48  81  -33  43
 24 Southfell United         45   7  13  25   28  57  -29  34  Relegated

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Integabad              45  25   8  12  55  34  +21  83  Promoted
  2 Newrook City               45  24   9  12  65  40  +25  81  Promoted
  3 Extreme Hills              45  24   9  12  70  50  +20  81  Promoted
  4 Crisisbless United         45  23   9  13  74  52  +22  78
  5 Leichhardt                 45  22  11  12  45  30  +15  77
  6 Starling                   45  21  11  13  67  49  +18  74
  7 Coret Hawks                45  21  10  14  52  39  +13  73
  8 Vermillion Wanderers       45  21   9  15  62  45  +17  72
  9 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45  20  12  13  47  31  +16  72
 10 Cypher Town                45  19  12  14  60  43  +17  69
 11 Cranequin City             45  18  12  15  53  46   +7  66
 12 Bishop                     45  19   7  19  51  50   +1  64
 13 West Hook                  45  18  10  17  33  37   -4  64
 14 AFC Shale                  45  15  14  16  53  52   +1  59
 15 Leopolis Hatemongers       45  15  14  16  50  53   -3  59
 16 Mainstream Fist            45  15  12  18  51  61  -10  57
 17 Brookford Otters           45  16   7  22  42  58  -16  55
 18 Rochford                   45  14  11  20  30  37   -7  53
 19 Sutcroft                   45  12  15  18  41  60  -19  51
 20 Crisisbless Athletic       45  12   8  25  42  64  -22  44
 21 Strephonage                45  11  10  24  48  78  -30  43
 22 Iron United                45   9  15  21  29  51  -22  42
 23 Crossroads Town            45  10  11  24  38  63  -25  41
 24 Rushe United               45   9   8  28  61  96  -35  35  Relegated

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Dross Rovers                 45  23  14   8  69  43  +26  83  Promoted
  2 Creed United                 45  22  16   7  70  40  +30  82  Promoted
  3 AFC Serpentine               45  23  13   9  76  48  +28  82  Promoted
  4 Franchise FC                 45  22  15   8  61  35  +26  81
  5 Sheridan                     45  21  15   9  48  29  +19  78
  6 North Sabrefell              45  21  12  12  71  51  +20  75
  7 Locksley                     45  22   7  16  70  57  +13  73
  8 North Dubstep                45  21  10  14  46  45   +1  73
  9 Boleyn Town                  45  16  17  12  39  36   +3  65
 10 Ox River United              45  17  13  15  45  40   +5  64
 11 Dubstep Rangers              45  16  10  19  49  50   -1  58
 12 South Parrhesia              45  14  15  16  52  55   -3  57
 13 Hackett                      45  15  12  18  60  65   -5  57
 14 Fenland Albion               45  16   9  20  53  59   -6  57
 15 East Laithland Harriers      45  15  10  20  46  56  -10  55
 16 South Brill                  45  16   7  22  50  67  -17  55
 17 Gridlock Rovers              45  13  13  19  50  56   -6  52
 18 Project +90                  45  13  13  19  48  67  -19  52
 19 FC United                    45  11  17  17  37  42   -5  50
 20 Forge Carpenters             45  12  13  20  37  48  -11  49
 21 Corby Hubris                 45  12  11  22  46  57  -11  47
 22 Geoff United                 45  13   8  24  47  70  -23  47
 23 Reckdale Town                45  11   9  25  43  70  -27  42  Relegated
 24 Inner-East Fairywrens        45  11   9  25  24  51  -27  42  Relegated

NFA CUP FINAL - SOUTH LAITHLAND vs. GOODFEATHER FC

South Laithland had endured a torrid season, and the cup run is the best part of it. It started with a convincing 4-1 victory over First Division Newrook City, a bright spot with form extremely poor, but as league form slowly started to improve, a 5-0 victory over Vermillion Rage gave them hope again. Leichhardt were brushed aside, Rhagant taken out in a whirlwind of goals, and a cagey couple of matches saw through Chenoworth Harriers. Now they’re safe. But for a season to have any positives… this is it. Elmo Havelund, top scorer of the tournament so far, starts alongside Illich-Svyitch - Bruce Canmore is an enforced change through Dashwood’s suspension, while the rest of the midfield and defence is full-strength, though missing captain Morgan Cheswick at leftback. Benedict, as designated cup goalkeeper, starts between the posts.

Goodfeather, by contrast, had a superb season near the start that threatens to degrade itself into merely another very good one. They’re certain to finish ninth - which is by all means respectable, and a good achievement on their budget, but still. To get here, they crushed Project +90 4-1 at Michigan Road, narrowly beat Sabrefell Athletic, then made rather a meal of putting down Vermillion Wanderers 2-1. Strephonage was next - brushed aside 5-1 on aggregate, but it took penalties to seperate them and Chatswood. Hero of the shootout Isadora Caravella starts here as well, and it’s a full-strength outfield in front of her.

Goodfeather kicks off first - and their tone is set early. Spike Turnbull wants to attack, and that he does, young Gerhard Wrexham a terror going down the middle and unleashing a thunderous long shot with two minutes played - Benedict gets down late, and a little awkwardly, but palms it away. But it’s Wrexham’s passing that seems the more dangerous - he lifts a pass over the flat-footed Drummond to find Ironside through the last man. This time, Benedict does assert himself, and Ironside ultimately shoots right at him as he advances.

Matthews’ low cross is smashed over the bar by Rettinger in the tenth minute, and from that point on the Southrons get back into the game. Physically assertive, they find an advantage in high balls, and despite being a squad player Canmore is superb in the heart of midfield. When he picks Pearce’s pocket and finds himself in space, they make a quick advantage of it - the ball is passed to Miller, who passes to the overlapping Cheney. Her cross is smashed in at goal, and Illich-Svyitch towers over Kelly and Monroe to flick the ball on with his head. He knows Havelund would be lurking, ready to pounce. He was right. The ball is smashed past Caravella, and South Laithland lead with just their first shot on target of the day.

They do quickly notch up a second - Miller squares to Sturrock who fires imperiously just outside the box, but Caravella gets down well for it - but after that it’s a thunderous strike from Dana Kendall that snaps across the top of the crossbar. And from that point on, the Southrons are under siege. Rettinger latching onto a forward pass near the box, and some traditional Nepharim ‘encouragement’ from Kurtis Brace puts him off. Low Ironside shot, Benedict dives to palm it aside. Corner aimed for the near post, clash of heads between Illich-Svyitch and Monroe, the roles of striker and defender briefly exchanged, and between them it’s just a floating ball that Benedict easily rises to claim. The Quakers have a superb midfield, only mitigated by Bruce Canmore, outnumbered but a colossus in defence. When the first half ends, the Southrons seem lucky to keep their lead.

Gareth Brunt, the South Laithland manager, makes no changes at half-time - and yet the team’s attitude has changed. While unafraid to go direct, the team is still far more willing to put bodies forward, but Goodfeather proves stern in defence, too - and when the back three fails, Isadora Caravella picks up the slack. Not that they’ve given up their own endeavours forward - Wrexham is poised to play what would surely be a killer ball through the defence, but Canmore flattens him. Both sides want a goal - neither side can take their chances. And the state of affairs continues up to the 88th minute, when Spike Turnbull - seemingly having been expecting extra time - pulls out a triple substitution. Off go Pearce, Ironside and the superb Loxley. On come Kelsey, Beckett and Ripton.

It’s one minor change - 3-5-2 with a defensive midfielder turns into sort of a 3-2-3-2 with no particularly ‘defensive’ positions and Matthews, Kendall and Wrexham pushed forwards, and it pays immediate dividends - a killer ball puts Beckett through the defence, and he’s fresh. Drummond shows him a narrow angle to goal, though, and the shot flashes wide, against the side netting - Benedict didn’t look confident, though. But for the remaining five minutes counting stoppage time it seems like the Southrons are besieged, snowed in under a torrent of Quaker aggression. But they can’t make it through the defence. Finally, in the 93rd minute, Kelsey smashes the ball at the top corner - it deflects off the head of Kurtis Brace, who falls poleaxed (but ultimately fine, just stunned) and, once the magic sponge is applied, out for a corner. The rather wiry figure of Caravella, not much use up top, lurks in the centre circle, and it’s close to nine in the box with Kendall over the corner. She smashes it in. It meets Beckett’s forehead.

It goes over.

It’s the last touch of the game. South Laithland lift the Cup - a fiercely bright moment in a season blighted by poor form - and they can take something from this season, genuine silverware and a CEdC berth. As for Goodfeather, they fought bravely to the end, but just couldn’t take their chances - they’ll rue this match for a while longer. It’s not by any means a classic match - but any neutral had to secretly feel the right team for the narrative won this.

South Laithland 1 - 0 Goodfeather FC

by **Nephara** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:59 pm

THE UICA PLACES
Brinemouth has won the league - nothing can change this. They play Chenoworth Harriers, and will want to end their season on a bang. They already have the record for most goals scored, blowing the previous 90 (Sabrefell Moths in their title-winning season, fuelled by 33 from Gerd Thunder) out of the water, and also for points, their current 95 exceeding the prior record by a point. Best ever goal difference is practically in the bag, too - they’d need to lose 7-0 not to at least equal it.
As long as Violence does not lose to Corvette Maulers at home they will retain second - if they lose and Crisisbless beat Treason the spot is theirs on goal difference. While the fixture looks weighted in their favour, Corvette did beat Brinemouth 5-1 very recently…
Barring a Treason loss and Maximum win of a combined swing of four goals, they finish fourth and fifth respectively. It’s possible, considering Treason face Crisisbless while relegation battlers Ritter face Maximum, but not particularly important.

THE RELEGATION FIGHT
Ritter Town have struggled in their first season, but have shown true fight and resilience to claw their way to where their safety is in their own hands. But they’ll have a fight on their hands to take on Maximum City and win. The Smiths may have nothing to play for but the difference between fourth and fifth, but they’re still favourites to take the game.
The Rovers need a win to guarantee their safety, but it’s in their own hands. And yet they have one of the hardest matchups - River are currently sixth, with Theodora Kenway establishing herself as one of the best marksmen in the league. A new Kearney. Or Bittencourt. Or Locke. The Ravens will hope she stays longer than they did.
At the three-quarter mark of the season, Martella looked like a couple more wins could secure their safety. Now they are winless in nine matches. 21st and with poor goal difference, their porous defence needs to hold out against Sabrefell Athletic, who have been inconsistent this season but showing flashes of brilliance. They need a result, and a win will probably save them.
Iron City will still probably survive with a win, but they’re unlikely to. They’re the third of the relegation fighters to be playing in Sabrefell - they’ll be in the west, facing the Moths, while the Rovers fight for survival on the Raven River, and Martella at the Barbarossa.
Honourable mention to Cranequin, who need everyone else to lose, and to beat Vermillion Rage away, making up for a twenty-one goal difference between them and the Stallions. Not mathematically down yet, and that’s the nicest thing you could say about them. Russ Reucassel gave them a fighting chance, but they simply didn’t have the quality - the manager can’t be faulted for it.

THE REST
Southfell are already down, and play Chatswood, safe in lower midtable. Both have undershot expectations this season, and will be playing for pride. Southfell, granted, undershot them the more fatally.
West Brinemouth play Chenoworth - in contrast to the above, both can be happy with their seasons. With a recent Locksmith injury, Ruentenbacher strikers Rogalski and Freuen will face each other, but it’s unlikely to have much significance outside of that.
A rematch of the Cup final - South Laithland play Goodfeather for the second time in two weeks. South Laithland are barely safe, and nothing’s riding on it, but Goodfeather are tipped for a spot of revenge.
Finally, Parrhesia United will bring their newfound attacking flair to North Laithland. Parrhesia had a magnificant start to the season, the Spiders a fucking appalling one - and yet now the Laith sit in tenth, United in 17th.

0’: KICK-OFF! Twelve matches, with the most gripping the relegation fight. Four sets of fans look especially anxious on the sidelines, three playing away in Sabrefell. Brinemouth, meanwhile, are relaxed, knowing the trophy sits on the sidelines. It’s theirs.
2’: GOAL! CHH 0-1 BRI - Fittingly the champions break out ahead early, and the Harriers just look demob-happy. Mallory caught out by a perfect Christon pass, Norgan slips through the back four and smashes past Flynn King, who gets weak fingers to it. Deserved lead.
5’: GOAL! WBR 0-1 CHR - Shootout between Freuen and Rogalski starts with a goal for the latter. Chaucer fluffs a defensive header and Kinsman catches him out, races towards the touchline and a low cross is slotted home by the Reuntenbacher. Very narrow game until that point.
6’: Close call for Iron City - the Moths aren’t exactly going hammer and tongs at them but Fran Sadler was still in dangerous space. Outstanding save from Redruth, one that might just keep Iron in the division.
7’: GOAL! SFU 1-0 CHT - Chatswood open the scoring against a dismal Southfell with a sweetly-struck volley from Beckett. Meanwhile, Iron City are being very physical, and have already picked up a first caution. Ritter are holding their own, the other teams look nervy.
9’: Penalty appeal during a scuffle in the box during a Ritter Town corner - not awarded.
10’: GOAL! RTT 0-1 MXC - Ritter have been on the offensive for most of the match but their defending looked decidedly ragged, unable to challenge Capulet as she ran straight at them. She looked for the pass to Kite but didn’t take it, slotting it home neatly.
11’: Maximum nearly get a second, but are denied by a good close-range save from Cunningham. Terrible defending from Town, and both Cunningham and manager Rae Gallagher are livid.
12’: GOAL! SFM 0-1 IRC - A twist in the tale as Iron strike home with their first shot on target of the game! Free kick bundled into the box, Yorke’s clearance is clumsy, Ashdown takes possession outside the box, waits for the space to even out a little and spots a run from Church at the far post. The chip is perfect and Church buries it with a header. Totally against the run of play, but it’s rather a peach of a goal.
13’: Ritter are still looking abysmal in defence. This time it’s Keane who comes close.
14’: GOALS! SLA 0-1 GDF, WBR 0-2 CHR - in the same minute, Rogalski marks his brace with a neat shot that clips past Cronin’s hand, and Goodfeather start to get a measure of revenge for the cup final with a Monroe header.
15’: GOAL! SFA 1-0 MTJ - Athletic mark the third goal in two minutes, having been superior all game. Despite several attempts to work it into the box only repelled by desperate defending, it’s a long shot from Sarracena that finally catches out Shrewe, arcing perfectly for the first goal.
16’: Crisisbless against Treason is a tight affair - a powerful long drive from Connacht smashes against the bar at one end, but Crisisbless take the ball and nearly score on a quick counter-attack. No goals yet, though.
19’: GOAL! RVR 1-0 MXR - Kenway’s late form continues, seeming almost to dance past Graves and bury the ball with sickening ease. With Iron winning, the Rovers are now in the relegation zone along with Martella.
20’: RED CARD! Terrible late tackle from Ruddock gives West Brinemouth an edge with seventy minutes to play. Driscoll looked like he would’ve scored, but was a professional foul in the 20th really worth it? Kinsman, despite an assist, is pulled for centreback Chase Stark to maintain a 4-4-1 - after all, Rogalski’s on a hattrick.
24’: GOAL! RVR 1-1 MXR - Then again, the Rovers are quick to strike back. Foster spots River have overextended on their right, so smashes the ball down in a perfect forward pass for Snowden to latch onto and slot past Fitzmarten. Snowden has really stepped up to the mark to keep the Rovers up, and nobody would be surprised if he started flirting with a transfer.
26’: GOAL! RTT 0-2 MXC - Kite marked very weakly by Killen offers a flick-on to an unmarked Parrish, who shows Des Costa a clean set of heels and buries it past Cunningham.
29’: GOAL! CHH 0-2 BRI - It already seems like game over, Brinemouth just look so assertive in attack and comfortable in defence. This time it’s Horæk who scores, cutting inside and trying his luck aiming at the far corner. He makes the shot.
30’: Ritter Town have stopped shitting the bed, and finally look solid in defence approximately five minutes too late.
32’: Close call for Iron. Sabrefell Moths have nothing to play for on paper, and a couple of changes from their first-team, but they’ve had a very poor season so far and don’t want to lose the final game of the season at home to a relegation battler. Gerhard Thunder rises gloriously for a corner but heads it just over.
37’: GOAL! SFU 1-1 CHT - Neat Tremmel forward ball for Volker, and it’s a low cross converted by Rudi Blake for the goal. Fairly even match on the whole, both defences fairly tight.
39’: Another close call for City! Macbeth wins a free kick and takes it himself, and it flashes across goal. A touch from anyone would have converted it, but Sadler, Thunder, Gallagher and indeed the unfortunate defender Bardsley all barely miss.
43’: Cranequin give away a penalty to Vermillion - a blatant shove to down Lazuli in the box - but remarkably, Farrell’s penalty is pushed onto the bar and cleared by Armstrong. The corner comes to nothing, and the scores remain 0-0.
45’: After some of the early fizz, goals have become fewer and further between. The whistles come for half-time, and though the title is Brinemouth, Iron will be elated with their lead.

HALF-TIME SUMMARIES
CHH 0-2 BRI: Brinemouth are cruising. They see the trophy and they can feel it already, and the Harriers look happy to accommodate them.
WBR 0-2 CHR: The Gulls’ possession game has dominated since the Rovers lost a man, and they’ve been free to ping it around the defence without enduring pressure from both strikers. But they’ve been unable to create any clear chances.
VIC 0-0 CVM: Two aggressive teams, but the game’s not really seemed to take off. The Chariots need a draw, but have been attacking rather conservatively, wary of Corvette’s own threat in attack.
VRR 0-0 CRN: Vermillion have pressed the Wanderers hard, but they look determined to go down with dignity, and have so far held out.
TRE 0-0 CRI: Very physical game from Treason, both teams defending well. Crisisbless have had more chances, Treason better ones, but Miller and Ballard are probably the two best goalkeepers in the league, and they’ve shown it.
SFU 1-1 CHT: Both teams just want the season to be over. There’s been few chances, but since the United goal both sides seem happy with, or at least resigned to, the scoreline.
SLA 0-1 GDF: Very even game in midfield separated by a set piece header. Goodfeather have struggled to string passes together in the final third.
SFM 0-1 IRC: The Moths have home advantage, five shots on target, eleven total, and despite not being a possession-based team have had 61% of the ball. Iron have the goal. That says all that needs to be said. City are holding out, but only just.
SFA 1-0 MTJ: Athletic could’ve scored more, but their finishing hasn’t been brilliant. Martella have tried gallantly to go forward, but just can’t breach the defence effectively, and their three shots on goal were all speculative at best.
RTT 0-2 MXC: With Iron and Maximum getting points on the board, Ritter are going down with Martella at present. They’ve been decent going forward but hopeless at the back for a good thirty minutes. The Smiths are treating this like any other game, and right now it’s an easy one for them. If Ritter do manage a draw, they can thank Cunningham for keeping down the score in the first half.
RVR 1-1 MXR: River have been better, narrowly, but 1-1 is a fair scoreline. The Rovers will go out knowing that Iron are winning presently and thus a change of fortunes for Martella or Ritter will down them, and will probably go out looking for another goal. They just don’t need it presently.
PAR 0-0 NLA: Dead rubber, and acting the part. Neither side can dominate the midfield or get it right in the final third - Mahoney’s the standout, evidently trying to shine in his last match before he returns to Brinemouth.

45’: Kick-off again. All sets of fans are increasingly nervous - Martella’s are openly despairing, they really need to win. Ritter Town trot out two substitutions - the younger Bellamy in for Charisteas, and Price replacing Killen in defence.
48’: GOAL! RVR 2-1 MXR - The Rovers got comfortable - too comfortable - and a Casey Brind pass split them right open. Kenway had the pace to get onto it, laid it across to Reeve who laid a forward pass to Vaughan, who buries it just inside the area with a running strike. The Rovers now fall behind Ritter and into the relegation zone on goal difference.
50’: Soon after the news filters across Stableground, the crowd throws up a great cheer, especially once captain Lara Callan forces Grubisa Jelic into a great save with an outstretched hand.
51’: GOAL! SLA 1-1 GDF - They don’t really deserve it from the run of play, but the Quakers left themselves open. Half-time substitute Cheney Markosian just flat-out ran, and easily had the pace to knock the ball past the 32-year old Farlane, dash back onto it and slide it past a dithering Mic Willans.
53’: Iron come close to a second - the first real save Franca Connell makes in the game. Marlborough cuts inside on the wing, Yorke does well to show her a tight angle but she does a lot with the angle she has. Connell palms it into the ground, and Yorke clumsily clears it off-balance. Connell claims the subsequent corner, though Vauxhall lurked dangerously at the near post.
54’: RED CARD! And the second penalty of the day. Keast is clear through and Tachibana misjudges a sweep of the leg. Keast places the ball on the spot to take it himself, Miller cracking his knuckles, in a classic Apox vs. TLI moment…
55’: GOAL! Miller guesses right and low, but it’s buried in the top-right corner. Nothing he could’ve done. Crisisbless now lead by a goal and a man - Rachael Green is brought on for Connacht as Treason change to a narrower, three-man midfield.
56’: Rovers catch River napping on the counter-attack - the last outfielder is Paddy Quinnan, who puts everything into a last-ditch sliding tackle. It’s perfect, however, dispossessing Ashworth without fouling her - the Brenecian centreforward looks furious with herself.
59’: GOAL! CHH 0-3 BRI - A smooth move along the left flank. Breton to Christon, who passes to Clough on the overlap and cut inside to McFadden, who still boasts a fierce shot to beat King at his far post. The Dockers are cruising.
61’: The wind’s picking up in Vermillion - Kunibert Rosenfeld’s goalkick catches a breeze, bounces in the six-yard box and over both a wildly flailing Rothner and the net. Rothner could have become the first goalkeeper in Premiership history to save a penalty and concede a goalkick in the same match.
65’: GOAL! RTT 1-2 MXC - It’s the breakthrough Ritter have been waiting for. Solid at the back since the break, and they’ve made dangerous attacks along the wings. The one that makes it comes from Lara Callan, who’s been great this half, and her feinting run forces Jack Walker back. She moves as though to cross for Cascronin, but dummies past and goes for the shot, stabbing it past Jelic and beating the normally exceptional Pasargan as his near post. But they still need another to be safe from a Maximum Rovers equaliser.
68’: Iron City fans have a heart-attack - Sadler looks to be played through by a chipped cross and makes a spectacular volley to beat Redruth, but it’s rightfully called off for offside.
71’: GOAL! WBR 1-2 CHR - The Gulls haven’t pressed their man advantage, but eventually they make something of it - Steed Curtis makes a strong drive that deflects off the unlucky substitute Stark to wrongfoot Paul Ashpike. It’s credited to Curtis, but Ashpike had it covered before the deflection.
74’: Martella are simply not going to win this game. A low cross finds the normally reliable Kellow unmarked at the far post, but she scuffs the shot horribly. Time’s running out for a Martella goal, but Seward’s hardly been troubled.
76’: GOAL! RVR 2-2 MXR - A cheer among the Rovers fans and despair at Stableground, Snowden scores his second of the game with a beguiling free kick that Keller won, tripped on a run while cutting near the box. Surely by now the Brenecian winger is owed the keys to the city. The orange and black half of it, anyway.
79’: GOAL! SLA 1-2 GDF - Goodfeather had threatened with probing runs and passes for a good three minutes, but they finally find a gap. Rettinger, given possession, bursts into a space between Brace and Drummond that seems like a chasm, and buries it low and fast past Peterson. The Southrons don’t exactly look good value for an equaliser - the Quakers might well have revenge for the cup final.
83’: Iron City are showing their nerves. A square pass from an under-pressure Winter to Vauxhall is easily cut out by the powerful Asquith, but as the midfielder tries to cut inside and find an angle, Vauxhall makes a magnificent run to show him a narrow angle. Still a good save from Wren Redruth is required when Asquith pulls the trigger. Close call.
86’: Another scare for Iron - another good save from Redruth to deny a Macbeth free kick. Young Finn Richter is brought on for the exhausted Asquith to try and find a breakthrough.
88’: GOAL! SFM 1-1 IRC - and you cannot say it hasn’t been coming. It’s young leftback Jess Beck with a hooked cross in for the man of the hour, Big Gerhard Thunder, who storms into the box with unquestioned authority and buries a bullet header past Redruth. A 21-year old assists a 36-year old. Despair for Iron. Relief for Ritter, who are safe again if the scoreline stays as is.
89’: Three minutes of stoppage time are signalled in Stableground, and at Rookridge. Four at Gargoyle’s Court. Just one at the Barbarossa.
90+1’: Final whistle at Martella - they’re down. Immense credit to the team and especially the manager for coming so close to survival with a team most wrote off at the start of the season - but Kirsten Weixelbraun had made it clear with five weeks to go that failure to survive meant her failure as a manager. She nearly kept them safe - but it was late form that cost them. They were winless in ten matches, including 5-0 and 6-1 defeats to Brinemouth and Crisisbless that clearly shook them. Expect a lot of people after Weixelbraun’s contract.
90+2’: Time running out. Desperate shot from Sullivan. Connell gathers it easily and hoofs it upfield.
90+3’: Iron City can’t make the ball go fast enough. As the final whistle blows in Ritter Town, the fans are jubilant despite defeat, and there’s a pitch invasion. They think it’s all over.
90+4’: It is now. Iron City is relegated. Rovers and Ritter remain safe on the final matchday.

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               46  29  11   6  105  51  +54  98  Champions
  2 Violence Chariots        46  28   7  11   82  57  +25  91  Champions
  3 Crisisbless              46  25  15   6   68  34  +34  90  Globe
  4 AFC Treason              46  24  10  12   71  46  +25  82  Globe
  5 Maximum City             46  22  16   8   63  39  +24  82  Globe
  6 Raven River              46  21  13  12   71  53  +18  76
  7 Vermillion Rage          46  22  10  14   66  55  +11  76
  8 Sabrefell Athletic       46  20  15  11   66  52  +14  75
  9 Goodfeather FC           46  21   7  18   69  65   +4  70
 10 North Laithland          46  16  14  16   61  57   +4  62
 11 Chenoworth Rovers        46  17  10  19   50  54   -4  61
 12 Sabrefell Moths          46  15  14  17   49  50   -1  59
 13 Corvette Maulers         46  16  11  19   57  70  -13  59
 14 West Brinemouth          46  14  14  18   37  42   -5  56
 15 Chatswood                46  14  13  19   49  56   -7  55
 16 Chenoworth Harriers      46  15   9  22   52  68  -16  54
 17 Parrhesia United         46  14  11  21   59  75  -16  53
 18 South Laithland          46  12  14  20   46  56  -10  50  CedC
 19 Maximum Rovers           46  11  14  21   53  72  -19  47
 20 Ritter Town              46  11  13  22   58  71  -13  46
 21 Martella Jazz            46  11  12  23   59  81  -22  45  Relegated
 22 Iron City                46  11  12  23   32  57  -25  45  Relegated
 23 Cranequin Wanderers      46  11  11  24   48  81  -33  44  Relegated
 24 Southfell United         46   7  14  25   29  58  -29  35  Relegated

TOP SCORERS
28 - D. Norgan (BRI)
24 - T. Kenway (RVR)
22 - C. Drinkwater (VIO)
20 - C. Bittencourt (TRE)
19 - J. Ritter (VIO)
18 - J. Capulet (MXC)
17 - E. Rogalski (CHR), R. Ironside (GDF), D. Arragne (NLA), D. Canady (PAR)
16 - L. Fletcher (CVM), O. Keast (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Drake (MXR), C. Kellow (SFA), A. Dorne (SFA), E. Havelund (SLA)
15 - K. Mathias (BRI), G. Kite (MXC), F. Keller (RTT)
14 - C. Scherzer (CRI), K. Lazuli (VRR), G. Farrell (VRR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Darek Norgan (BRI)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rutger Locke (VIC)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Lucia Vaughan (RVR)
Team of the Year: Ballard (CRI); Kellen (VIC), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Watt (BRI), Mathias (BRI), Locke (VIC), Leinster (VIC); Kenway (RVR), Norgan (BRI) - Bench: Fitzmarten (RVR), Bernard (MXC), Stockinger (CRI), Harper (TRE), Murdoch (VIC), Connacht (TRE), Drinkwater (VIO)
Manager of the Year: Harry Collingwood (RVR)

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Integabad              46  25   9  12  57  36  +21  84  Promoted
  2 Extreme Hills              46  24  10  12  70  50  +20  82  Promoted
  3 Newrook City               46  24   9  13  66  42  +24  81  Promoted
  4 Crisisbless United         46  24   9  13  76  53  +23  81  Promoted
  5 Leichhardt                 46  22  12  12  46  31  +15  78
  6 Coret Hawks                46  22  10  14  53  39  +14  76
  7 Starling                   46  21  12  13  67  49  +18  75
  8 Vermillion Wanderers       46  22   9  15  64  46  +18  75
  9 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  21  12  13  48  31  +17  75
 10 Cypher Town                46  19  12  15  60  44  +16  69
 11 Cranequin City             46  18  13  15  54  47   +7  67
 12 West Hook                  46  18  11  17  34  38   -4  65
 13 Bishop                     46  19   7  20  52  52   +0  64
 14 AFC Shale                  46  16  14  16  54  52   +2  62
 15 Leopolis Hatemongers       46  15  15  16  51  54   -3  60
 16 Mainstream Fist            46  16  12  18  52  61   -9  60
 17 Brookford Otters           46  16   7  23  42  59  -17  55
 18 Rochford                   46  14  12  20  30  37   -7  54
 19 Sutcroft                   46  12  16  18  43  62  -19  52
 20 Crisisbless Athletic       46  13   8  25  43  64  -21  47
 21 Strephonage                46  11  11  24  48  78  -30  44  Relegated
 22 Iron United                46   9  15  22  29  52  -23  42  Relegated
 23 Crossroads Town            46  10  11  25  38  64  -26  41  Relegated
 24 Rushe United               46   9   8  29  61  97  -36  35  Relegated

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Creed United                 46  23  16   7  73  40  +33  85  Promoted
  2 AFC Serpentine               46  24  13   9  79  49  +30  85  Promoted
  3 Dross Rovers                 46  23  14   9  71  46  +25  83  Promoted
  4 Franchise FC                 46  22  15   9  63  40  +23  81  Promoted
  5 Sheridan                     46  21  16   9  49  30  +19  79
  6 North Sabrefell              46  22  12  12  72  51  +21  78
  7 Locksley                     46  23   7  16  75  59  +16  76
  8 North Dubstep                46  21  10  15  46  49   -3  73
  9 Ox River United              46  18  13  15  46  40   +6  67
 10 Boleyn Town                  46  16  17  13  39  37   +2  65
 11 Hackett                      46  16  12  18  64  65   -1  60
 12 South Parrhesia              46  15  15  16  56  58   -2  60
 13 Dubstep Rangers              46  16  11  19  50  51   -1  59
 14 East Laithland Harriers      46  16  10  20  47  56   -9  58
 15 Fenland Albion               46  16   9  21  53  62   -9  57
 16 Gridlock Rovers              46  14  13  19  54  56   -2  55
 17 South Brill                  46  16   7  23  51  70  -19  55
 18 FC United                    46  12  17  17  40  44   -4  53
 19 Project +90                  46  13  13  20  49  70  -21  52
 20 Forge Carpenters             46  12  13  21  37  49  -12  49
 21 Corby Hubris                 46  12  11  23  49  61  -12  47
 22 Geoff United                 46  13   8  25  47  74  -27  47
 23 Reckdale Town                46  12   9  25  46  71  -25  45  Relegated
 24 Inner-East Fairywrens        46  11   9  26  24  52  -28  42  Relegated

PROMOTED: Coret Rovers, Armstrong

Nephara (NPH) qualifiers
Champions’ Cup: Brinemouth, Violence Chariots
Globe Cup: Crisisbless, AFC Treason, Maximum City

CEdC: Brinemouth, South Laithland

NOTE: This nation is New Sideburn (NSB) with a name change. The league’s the same, the clubs are the same, and the ranks should be retained.

by **Brenecia** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:05 pm

BRENECIAN LEAGUE - 336 SEASON REVIEW

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kingsgrove               38  26   8   4  73  35  +38  86  Champions
  2 Northern Union           38  21   9   8  60  26  +34  72  Globe
  3 Lotus Park               38  21   7  10  58  38  +20  70  Globe
  4 Marque                   38  20   5  13  55  39  +16  65  Globe
  5 Falkner United           38  19   8  11  55  39  +16  65
  6 North Hall               38  16  12  10  38  36   +2  60
  7 Rozelle                  38  17   6  15  60  41  +19  57
  8 Pikemouth                38  14  14  10  49  36  +13  56
  9 South Rathia             38  15  10  13  52  46   +6  55
 10 Saint Alexander          38  15   7  16  29  33   -4  52
 11 Westpike                 38  13  11  14  42  34   +8  50
 12 Ridgeway United          38  13  10  15  45  49   -4  49
 13 Gallant Cross            38  12  10  16  34  36   -2  46
 14 Sutbyrne                 38  11  11  16  42  59  -17  44
 15 North Rathia             38  12   7  19  34  50  -16  43  CEdC
 16 Rozelle United           38  12   6  20  41  55  -14  42
 17 Francisca Orient         38  10   9  19  25  54  -29  39
 18 Scaffield                38   9   9  20  25  52  -27  36  R
 19 Southside Wanderers      38   7  11  20  34  61  -27  32  R
 20 Mount Roland             38   6  12  20  23  55  -32  30  R

Pos Team                  P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Westpike United      38  23   8   7  51  26  +25  77  P
  2 Rosbank Town         38  20  11   7  69  32  +37  71  P
  3 Snowden River        38  21   7  10  67  38  +29  70  P
  4 Hooker Ridge         38  18  10  10  56  47   +9  64
  5 Region               38  15  13  10  32  23   +9  58
  6 Thrush Central       38  16  10  12  59  52   +7  58
  7 Chafford             38  16  10  12  36  35   +1  58
  8 Platwood             38  17   6  15  47  43   +4  57
  9 Thriss Valley        38  13  12  13  45  43   +2  51
 10 Garfield             38  14   9  15  48  48   +0  51
 11 Guilder              38  13  11  14  52  50   +2  50
 12 Dalgallen            38  12  14  12  40  39   +1  50
 13 Arkwood              38  13   9  16  41  49   -8  48
 14 Sharrow              38  13   8  17  57  66   -9  47
 15 Saint Wessex         38  12  10  16  41  45   -4  46
 16 Fort Keller          38  11  11  16  47  64  -17  44
 17 Glassfields          38   8  12  18  43  53  -10  36
 18 Reave City           38  10   6  22  44  68  -24  36  R
 19 Crest                38   7  14  17  33  53  -20  35  R
 20 Shenworth            38   9   7  22  39  73  -34  34  R

336 Crown Cup

Final
Falkner United 0-1 North Rathia

Brenecia (BRE) qualifiers
Champions’ Cup: Kingsgrove
Globe Cup: Northern Union, Lotus Park, Marque

CEdC: Kingsgrove, North Rathia

Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

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