World Cup 93 - RP Thread

by **Naixi** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:29 am

It was a foggy morning back in Industrial Valley as Detective Ohimi stopped by at the local coffee shop just a couple blocks away from the 1st Precinct. By the subway station she ran into a friend who she sometimes had cocktails with downtown, if the two of them ever had the time off to commit to a girls night. (That had been a bit tough lately, with Hi Yuan's death and all.) They chatted amicably, wondering aloud about whether a new makeup line that had just been unveiled was worth trying out. Ohimi was glad to see her - it reminded her of her life before everything got so dark. She felt happy as she walked into the shop, and felt the smoky, chocolatey aroma waft into her nostrils.

Instantly, she saw two men at a table who were loudly arguing about something. She eavesdropped as she stood in line.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT!"

"What is so controversial about saying that it's not all Gan Liang's fault?!"

"It's ENTIRELY his fault, and it's obvious for all to see!"

"NO, IT ISN'T! He's had to deal with a serious crisis in defense! Look how bad Cai and Geng and Pao are playing right now!"

"FOR THEIR CLUBS, YOU MORON. They're holding clean sheets left and right for the Blues! Gan Liang doesn't get to use that as an excuse! He's mismanaging the ATTACK. How is this so hard for you?!"

"No, it's a crisis for the national team too. I don't think much of a national team that ships four against the Ochre Islands."

"You're out of your FUCKING MIND, pal. He's got Hsieh and Tak Hing Jin in there, and since we're allowing discourse about CLUB FORM in here, let the record show that Hsieh and Jin are in great form for their clubs! They should be BANGING GOALS IN for Naixi. Instead, what do we get? Two goalless draws. Terrible games. Then what? We play right here in Qiawutian, at home, against the worst team not just in this group, but more or less the worst team in ALL OF QUALIFYING. And WHAT HAPPENS?! They get two men sent off! Two! And we only manage to beat NINE FUCKING MAN Congo one nil. Because Kuang Yin Cao gets lucky. Then what? Then we travel to the Ochre Islands yesterday. Tough team, but we get some good performances out of Cao and Dai and Jin... the other one... and we go three one up. Three one up! Throw on the cruise control, right?! WRONG! DUMBASS Gan Liang takes off Cao and Jin, and he's about to take off Dai too until his assistant coach talks him out of it. He's trying to REMOVE ALL THREE GOALSCORERS. And then, of course, we just melt down in the second half, and Ochre Islands win in the sixth minute of stoppage time. That's MENTAL WEAKNESS, man. That's MENTAL WEAKNESS, and mental weakness comes from the FUCKING COACH!!!!"

Ohimi brushed her hair back. On behalf of the other occupants of this coffee shop, she was going to take one for the team. She was good at these sort of bomb-defusing-style situations.

"Excuse me, guys, would you mind having your conversation outside? I just have a little bit of a hangover from last night and your chat is... just a little loud for me."

She was not hung over, at all.

"Oh," the taller, louder guy said, taken aback. "Sorry about that." He stared at her lecherously. "You do fun stuff on Wednesday nights?"

"Oh yeah," she said, flicking her sunglasses down as she stepped forward in line.

The two guys were, thankfully, much quieter about their Naixi national football team debate. She picked up two coffees, and headed for headquarters. As she headed back out into the pleasant fog, which was already starting to dissipate as the autumn sun began to rise, she checked her watch. 6:15. Good, she thought, I'll make it there before Hark does.

Hark was the impound warehouse manager who kept all large pieces of evidence like vehicles and appliances under lock and key. He didn't have any meaningful policing authority, but he did report directly to the captain, and Ohimi wasn't keen on him blabbing too much, since the sergeant had told her to keep her involvement on the case to a need-to-know basis. Of course, Hark wasn't the only issue. She'd need to get a pair of warehouse keys from Sergeant Wen. Ohimi and Wen were friendly, as Wen was one of the only other women in the force, so it wouldn't be a huge deal, but Ohimi figured it wouldn't hurt to grease the skids a bit.

She strode into the First and went straight to Wen's office on the second floor.

"Hi!" Wen said happily. "I'm surprised to see you back so soon! I'm really, really sorry about what happened!"

"Yeah," Ohimi answered just a little sadly. "I'm happy to be busy, honestly."

"He was a really sweet boy," Wen said softly. "I always liked seeing the two of you work together. I know he weirded you out sometimes, but he mostly just envied your charisma and your dedication. That's how I always chose to look at it. He wanted to be like you."

"Yeah," Ohimi said reflectively. "I think I envied him too, in a lot of ways. He was always so thorough, and his aptitude scores were just astronomical when we were in the Academy. I always felt so..." She struggled to put it into words. She felt a tiny bit guilty about saying it, but she was always so competitive with him. She always felt he didn't deserve to advance further in the force than she did.

"I had a similar experience back when I was in the Academy. I don't even remember his name, to be honest. But I was always so focused on him. He just... I don't know. I keyed onto him. My goal was always, just... stay ahead of this one... man. You know?"

Wen's knowing smile made Ohimi feel better. "I know exactly what you mean."

"You'll do fine, Ohimi. Everybody wants you to succeed. Just a damn shame something so awful had to happen so early in your career."

"Hi Yuan passing away, you mean?"

"Yeah, Hi Yuan. Well, Ohimi," Wen said as she looked around her meticulously-organized office, "what brings you in this early? I see you got two coffees... you really need that much caffeine at 6:30?"

Ohimi smiled. "Oh, no. One of them's for you, actually."

"One of them's for me." Wen smirked. "One of them's for me. Very interesting. Sounds like there might be some extra ingredients in the coffee today? Perhaps you are buttering me up? Or perhaps there's chocolate, since you seem to be brown-nosing so much..."

"I don't think chocolate is where that expression comes from, Sergeant," Ohimi said, laughing.

"Oh, I know. I just didn't want to even suggest that that might be in the coffee you brought me."

"Right, right."

"Well," she said, reaching her hand out over her desk and grasping it open and shut, "give it here. What do you want?"

"I uh... I forgot my Floor Three keys at home." She had not forgotten her Floor Three keys. This was a ruse, as she assumed Sergeant Wen would just hand her over all the keys she had on her.

It worked. Wen rolled her eyes as she took the coffee and set it down on the desk. "Better hope Mi never hears about this. Detectives losing their Floor Three keys? Oh no no no, we can't have that. Station security is paramount!" She had a sarcastic gleam in her eye as she pulled an entire keyring out of her bottom desk drawer. "Don't lose mine, Detective."

"Thanks, Sarge."

"Yup."

So Ohimi was in. She headed straight for the sub-basement, where there was an access tunnel underneath HQ's parking lot. She could get to the impound warehouse that way, and Wen's keys would get her there. The tunnel was well-lit, but grimy and unpleasant. Because of all the budget cuts, the janitorial staff had been told to skip areas like this, that really only needed to be used in emergencies.

She arrived at the locked door to the warehouse. Wen's key opened it, and she emerged out into the totally empty space. Detective Ohimi checked her watch. "6:45," she said out loud to herself. She had an hour and fifteen minutes before Hark showed up.

The sprinter van the gunmen had used was the first thing she saw when she tiptoed over into the vehicles section. It was large, white, and new-looking. At first glance, she saw all the same things Mi had seen when he looked it over. It had no registration, no plates, and was totally empty. Ohimi climbed into the back. Not even any shelving, she noticed. Had the guys been back here, just holding a shit ton of guns while they rode around the bumpy streets of the Seaport District?

She touched the walls. Reinforced, she thought to herself. Mi had told her about that, too. There was no way the manufacturer would have seen the need to make it this way. This thing was designed for assaults, which suggested to Ohimi that this was a professional operation. She frowned. Why would a professional operation see the need to go and shoot up a tiny prostitution ring just because two inexperienced detectives from the QPD showed up?

Ohimi stepped out of the back carefully. She checked the tire treads. She knew from her conversation with Mi that uniform hadn't found anything helpful as far as marks went, but she liked to see, just to be thorough. Brand new tires, too, she thought.

Up in the front seat, she felt a streak of good luck coming on. Putting on a pair of gloves so as not to disturb any fingerprint evidence, she glanced around the cabin. There was nothing in the glove box. There was nothing under the seats or in the wheel wells. There was nothing on the dash. She checked the doors. The passenger side had plastic wrapper in the storage compartment... looked like it might be from a pack of cigarettes. Not much to go by.

She looked down at the keys that Hark had left on the dash. Hmm, she thought, I wonder if there's anything about the way the engine runs that could give me a clue.

She turned over the ignition in the sprinter van. She didn't want to do this for long, since it'd be bad if Hark walked in here in an hour and immediately smelled exhaust. Plus, she thought with a rueful smile, Hi Yuan would be laughing his head off if Ohimi followed him in death by giving herself carbon monoxide poisoning.

She heard the engine turn on, which was immediately followed by the radio. Not much to go by... the ignition was in good shape. She threw it into reverse, then into drive. Transmission sounded good. She threw it back into park. Headlights? She tried them. Both were working fine... looked like they hadn't been changed since manufacture. There wasn't much to go by... now, she thought, what is that annoying clicking? Almost like a popping sound, occurring in perfect rhythm. Was it something in the ventilation? She turned up the fan, then turned it down. Nothing.

"Wait a second," she said out loud. "It's the damn radio." She turned it up. Sure enough, the popping sound was just the beat to a song that was playing. She felt disappointed, and went to turn the key to the van back off. What a fail, she thought. And to think she'd felt so lucky when she got into the car...

She looked back at the dashboard one more time before turning the key. She tilted her head slightly. One toggle button was catching her eye...

RADIO/MEDIA

She pushed it. The green and white touchscreen display switched over from 94.7 FM to the word CD.

"CD," she thought. "CD."

She saw an option on the touchscreen. It read EJECT DISK. She pressed it. A prompt filled the screen. EJECT CURRENT SLOT OR ALL CURRENT DISCS?

"All current discs," she answered out loud, a thrill coming over her. Mi had missed something on his initial search.

The compact discs started popping out, one by one. Ohimi looked down at them in awe. They were cheap looking things, with strange paper decals on all of them. It seemed like they weren't authentic... like perhaps they'd been torrented and then made up to look like the original album disc.

Ohimi looked down with marvel at her new collection. There were five in her hands. She looked them all over.

Hwa Dong Clan and Intuition, "Flower City Forever"
Carlos Congo, "Come With Me"
Dong Xiaoduo, "Flower"
Charlie Underdog Huerline, "Attention"
Charlie Underdog Huerline, "I Once Saw a Lemming"

"Odd taste," she muttered to herself. "Who were these guys? And where would they get a bunch of bootleg CDs by international artists?" That was a silly question, she realized at once. There was only one place in town to buy illegally copied software and music, and that place was Downtown.

Matchday 13

Naixi 1 ⇨ Cai, Pao (Yep), Geng, Dong, Tian, Xun, Dai, Yuan, Cao ⚽x1 (Fen), Ye, J.T. Jin (Yuen)
CONGOlese Republic 0 ⇨ Joreg, Hossain (Tim), Ganswa, Hanswa, Gwana, Harrison, Rongman, Thomas, Hernandez, Zuares (Khan), Messi

9' Yellow Card ⇨ Gwana (CNG)
17' Straight Red Card ⇨ Rongman (CNG)
24' Yellow Card ⇨ Tian (NIX)
25' Yellow Card ⇨ Dong (NIX)
49' Yellow Card ⇨ Cai (NIX)
52' Yellow Card ⇨ Cao (NIX)
67' Substitution ⇨ Zuares OFF Khan ON (CNG)
70' Second Yellow Card ⇨ Gwana (CNG)
72' Substitution ⇨ Pao OFF Yep ON (NIX)
79' Goal ⇨ Cao (NIX)
89' Yellow Card ⇨ Dai (NIX)
92' Substitution ⇨ J.T. Jin OFF Yuen ON (NIX)
94' Substitution ⇨ Hossain OFF Tim ON (CNG)
95' Substitution ⇨ Cao OFF Fen ON (NIX)

Matchday 14

Ochre Islands 4 ⇨ Softstep, Featherborn ⚽x1, D'Entro, Willingham (Newcomer), Sandman, Lewis, Walker ⚽x1, Mikkels (Matson ⚽x1), Clearedway ⚽x1 (Lucksmith), Builder, Gibson
Naixi 3 ⇨ Cai, Pao, Geng, Shao (Tsung), Tian, Xun, Dai ⚽x1, Yuan, Cao ⚽x1 (Ling), Ye, J.T. Jin ⚽x1 (T.H. Jin)

5' Yellow Card ⇨ Builder (OCH)
6' Yellow Card ⇨ Sandman (OCH)
14' Goal ⇨ J.T. Jin (NIX)
26' Goal ⇨ Clearedway (OCH)
38' Goal ⇨ Dai (NIX)
53' Goal ⇨ Cao (NIX)
55' Goal ⇨ Walker (OCH)
59' Substitution ⇨ J.T. Jin OFF T.H. Jin ON (NIX)
62' Substitution ⇨ Shao OFF Tsung ON (NIX)
71' Substitution ⇨ Willingham OFF Newcomer ON (OCH)
74' Yellow Card ⇨ Yuan (NIX)
75' Substitution ⇨ Clearedway OFF Lucksmith ON (OCH)
83' Yellow Card ⇨ Xun (NIX)
87' Substitution ⇨ Cao OFF Ling ON (NIX)
92' Substitution ⇨ Mikkels OFF Matson ON (OCH)
94' Goal ⇨ Matson (OCH)
94' Yellow Card ⇨ Featherborn (OCH)
96' Goal ⇨ Featherborn (OCH)

by **Stevencousin** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 2:44 pm

Want to find an interesting port? Here are 4 ~~hipster cafes~~ hotels and resorts to make you dizzy in Cassaholm!
LocalSpotStar

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

1. Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm, Sebastian Claymoore St., Cassaholm
The best views in Cassaholm with a stay at Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm, which places you right in the city center in the middle of the best views and landmarks. With its convenient location, you can easily access the city's must-see destinations. Explorers need the best transport options, and Kroneshall Integrated Land Transport Terminal is 2.2 km away from Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm, giving your stay the added convenience of accessing one of the city's main transport systems. Take advantage of a wealth of unrivaled services and amenities at this Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm hotel. Stay connected throughout your stay with free internet access provided. The taxi service provided by Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm makes it easy to plan your daily trips, and visits to places, and more around Cassaholm. Parking is available for guests at the hotel. Every day at Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm starts with a delicious breakfast. Don't start your vacation days without coffee in the morning, available every morning in the cafe. A variety of easy and delicious dining options await you at the hotel, whenever you're hungry. Guests with dietary restrictions will appreciate the variety of cuisine at Willelmus Hankforde Cassaholm, because it is nutritious, what downside? It's just hard to spell and pronounce.

2. Pelican Resort, Faro De Valehuela Beach, Cassaholm
When you're looking for comfortable and convenient accommodation in Cassaholm, make Pelican Resort your home away from home. A stay at Pelican Resort ensures easy access to the vibrant city and all its wonders. The variety of services provided by Pelican Resort ensures that all travelers get the most out of their stay. If you are planning to come by car, you will definitely appreciate the hotel parking available in the area. The hotel is a completely non-smoking area, thus ensuring a clean air environment. Various facilities are offered in guest rooms at Pelican Resort. Enjoy your stay even more at the hotel knowing that some select rooms include air conditioning, linen service, and blackout curtains. A day at the lodge will be as much fun as your day out, with the many recreational activities offered at Pelican Resort. Don't forget to explore the easily accessible hotel beach. The range of facilities at Pelican Resort ensures you have plenty to do during your stay. A vacation would not be complete without a swim in the pool. Electric bicycle rental is also available for those interested.

3. Lancaster Royal International, Rosenmourne Plantation Ave., Cassaholm
For travelers looking to enjoy the sights and bustle of Cassaholm, Lancaster Royal Cassaholm is a perfect choice. Its convenient location right in the city center allows you to have more time to see what Cassaholm has to offer Conveniently located just 4.0 km from the City Cultural Center, a stay at Lancaster Royal Cassaholm adds efficiency to your trip with easy city access and travel options a diverse day. All the offers provided by Lancaster Royal Cassaholm ensure a pleasant stay for all travelers. Keep communicating easily with the hotel's free wi-fi. To help arrange your arrival and departure, an airport shuttle service can be booked before you check in. Shuttle, car rental, and taxi services provided by the hotel make exploring Cassaholm more convenient. Guests are guaranteed a comfortable stay during their stay at Lancaster Royal Cassaholm. To enhance your stay experience all rooms at the hotel are equipped with air conditioning, linen service, and blackout curtains. For some entertainment guests will find cable TV available in all rooms. Don't worry about going thirsty as bottled water, coffee or tea makers, and minibars are provided in some guest rooms. A hairdryer, bathrobes, toiletries, and towels are provided in some guest bathrooms. For sophisticated relaxation, be sure to visit the executive lounge. A relaxing end to the day is possible with a visit to the massage and spa. Start your vacation with a swim in the pool. Sip your favorite cocktail outside at the hotel's poolside bar.

4. Diamond Creek Hotel & Spa, The Fountain of the Celestial Precint, Cassaholm
Diamond Creek Hotel & Spa, Cassaholm, is located right in the heart of the town center, with easy access to everything in Cassaholm. Do you know? Atanius Cassa Political Museum is just 1.6 km away, CityLink Bus System gives guests easy access to one of the city's urban transport options. At Diamond Creek Cassaholm Hotel, the excellent service and superior facilities make for an unforgettable stay. The hotel provides a taxi service to help you find anything you want in Cassaholm. For those driving their own cars, parking is available for guests. You'll have no trouble planning your day and transportation needs with front desk services that include a safety deposit box, express check-in or check-out, and luggage storage. If you want a seat at the city's best entertainment, you can get help from ticket and tour services. You can enjoy the activities offered at Diamond Creek Cassaholm Hotel throughout the day. End your days in peace by visiting the hotel's spa. Don't forget to go to the swimming pool at the hotel. Ignore the dress code and opt for a casual cocktail or beer at the hotel's poolside bar. For those who don't want to miss a workout, a visit to the hotel's fitness facility will help you stay fresh and healthy. Buy souvenirs for yourself or those waiting at home, at the gift shop.

by **Natanians and Nosts** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:35 pm

For the thirteenth matchday of the 93rd World Cup Qualifiers,Natanians and Nosts travelled to Ceni,to play at Volatus Millennium Stadium,in City Centre,the last match this stadium will hold for this WCQ.
Natanians and Nosts decided to wear its dark blue with lighter details shirt,Ceni dressed in its traditional colours.This was the second time Johan C. Mureșan-Antonescu's squad would play Ceni.
Natanians and Nosts (4-4-2 [4-2-2-2]) begun Whitcliffe - Ret; Constantinescu, Ionescu MI; Tralto - Probus, Wafa; Ionescu FM, Martinescu - García, Ubuntu.
Ceni (3-5-2 [3-2-3-2]) begun Woodbridge - Farthen, Windtide, Sotebren - Avant; Foyner-Devatee; del Toro, Onasi; Koromin Ai. - Cyn-Penzag, Ellex-Mar.

Full-match stats:
 		CEN	NTN
Shots		15	5
 On goal	8	4
Free kicks	4	3
Penalty kicks	n/a	n/a
Yellow cards	1	0
Red cards	0	0
Corners		7	3
Times offsided	5	4
Ball possession	57	43

Ellex-Mar opened the score for Ceni with only seven minutes played,resulting from a bad pass from Wafa to Probus.The match progressed with slight Cenian dominance,but not many important moments for either nation until the 17th minute,when Sheldon Ubuntu gave Natanians and Nosts first kick,but it did not pose dangerous to Aneirin Woodbridge's goal.Two minutes later,John Mihai García stole the ball from a fast attacking Ceni,dribbled 4 deffenders,made a beautiful play,but Woodbridge made an astounishing deffence.Twenty-four minutes into the first period,Ceni had another great goal opportunity,when Cyn-Penzag triangulated with del Toro to make Daniel Whitcliffe's life difficult.The twenty-eighth minute marked the most tense moment in the match,when after failing to whistle on a technicality,the referee was met with intense arguing by Onasi,when asked by the referee about it,Mihai Martim Martinescu,and nearby Flávius Március Ionescu,confirmed Marc-André Onasi's worries,the referee stubbornly replied,soon there were 20 men arguing against the referee,which should have delayed the match in some 8 minutes at least,unhappy with what he caused to happen,and refusing to even consider talking to anyone else on the refereeing squad,he decided to book Marc-André Onasi an yellow card,and threatened to do so to everyone else if the complaining did not stop.Onasi himself would nearly score Ceni's second goal at the 43rd minute,ironically after that,the stoppage time was announced at only two minutes,which saw two great shots on goal by Aidan Koromin defended by Daniel Whitcliffe.
During half-time,Natanians and Nosts changed John Mihai García by Natan Gabriel Ademélsson-Vit,marking his debut for the national squad.
The second period started with both teams behaving very wearily.Ceni's offence had the first two shots,but they were far from threatening,and the latter happened 12 minutes in,near ten whole minutes until the next shot (anywhere,by anyone) happened.Fifteen minutes into the second period saw Natanians and Nosts change Sheldon Ubuntu for Mihai C. Mureșan-Antonescu,changing the team's tactics into a 4-5-1 (4-2-3-1).The resulting change made Natanians and Nosts offence work alittle bit better,bringing more danger to Ceni's deffence,but it did not in the slightest diminish the Cenian thirst for attacks.Marc-André Onasi and Adrián del Toro gave way to Marco Santa Oria and Asher Koromin,at the 25th minute.Said change proved significant,for three minutes later Asher Koromin put Aidan Koromin in a good scoring opportunity,which was frustrated by the younger Koromin falling into Natanians and Nosts' offside trap.Santa Oria was important in putting pressure onto Natanians and Nosts on his side of the field whenever Ceni could attack.Cyn-Penzag left for Nova Daneraj at the 30th minute of the second period.The second goal came when Foyner-Devatee got ahold of the ball and Whitcliffe failed to get the shot,that was made from over 20 metres away,at teh 33rd minute.Five minutes later,assisted by Mihai C. Mureșan-Antonescu,Ademélsson-Vit scored his first goal for Natanians and Nosts at his international debut.Besides trying so hard,Natanians and Nosts did not tie the match,but Ceni managed to score a third goal,when after receiving a good pass,Foyner-Devatee crossed to Daneraj,who saw a breach which Whitcliffe could not deffend.Three boring minutes of stoppage time.
Next matchday will see Natanians and Nosts receiving Stevencousin at the Stadion Nacional,and Ceni travelling to Kirungabi.

by **Baggieland** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:57 pm

Return of the Baggies

Guru Beth Rati Pumba: "You little brat! How do you keep winning?"

Lars Varg: "YES! Pay up!"

Lars' Mum: "Darling, gambling can lead to addiction. Why don't you and the Guru just play for fun?"

Lars: "MUM! What's the point of playing if I can't take this hippy for everything's he got?"

Killer Bob: "Who is this guy? I don't remember him joining our gang."

Lars' Mum: "That's because you were extremely drunk last night. I would very much appreciate it if you set a better example when there are children around."

Lars: "He claims to be an oracle, but I've already won four games… he's not very good at predicting stuff if you ask me."

Guru: "Hey, I predict the future, not see through cards you little sprog, besides ever since that hotel maid from Hannasea threw away me fortune telling accoutrements, things ain't going so well."

Killer Bob: "What were you doing in Cap Nord?"

Guru: "There was supposed to be an oracles' A.G.M., but they never tell you where it is, you're supposed to predict the location. I predicted Cap Nord, turns out it was being held in Zwangzug though."

Sentient Map: "Hey you schmucks, we're nearing Baggieland."

The gang disembarked from the submarine and headed towards the Tavern, surprisingly the entireness of HMS Onslaught's secret hideout seemed to be abandoned.

At the Tavern, HMS Gnejs

Serving Wench Connie: "Landsman Øye! I haven't been seeing you in ages. Where ye been me lover?"

Hannah: "Who… is… she?"

Øystein: "This is Connie, she works here at the Tavern. She's a very sweet girl."

Hannah: "Sweet enough to call you 'lover'. What have you been getting up to Øystein Øye? 'I'm off to play pirates' you said, but in reality you were sniffing the apron of some serving wench!"

Øystein: "No, it was nothing like that. I promise!"

Connie: "And who be she Landsman Øye?"

Øystein: "Umm… Connie, this is Hannah, my wife, estranged wife I guess you could say. Hannah… umm… this is Connie."

Killer Bob: "Are you a member of the Lodge Connie?"

Connie: "Nah, I never be interested in their silly games. All I ever be wanting is to find a good man… someone who can organise paperwork, wash dishes and shoot fawns… but I guess I won't be finding anyone like that. But I be knowing Proprietress Molly be a member, the Lodge be good for her business."

Killer Bob: "Right, Hannah and Connie you can argue over Øystein later; it's time to take the Lodge down. However, let's have some breakfast first; we haven't eaten in ages. Connie, coffee and doughnuts for everyone."

Connie: "Sorry, but the doughnuts don't be in season."

Hannah: "What? How can doughnuts… Oh I forgot what Baggieland's like. What is in season?"

Connie: "Pop-tarts."

Gilbert: "Dude… I live for pop-tarts!"

Queen Alma: "Pop-tarts for me as well."

Guru: "Your Most Excellent Majesty, what brings you here?"

Queen Alma: "My royal spies told me what you guys are up to. I want to help you bring down the cabal; I'm pretty sure my husband is having an affair with that sports reporter."

After a hearty breakfast of pop-tarts in season and instant coffee, the gang headed towards the Lodge, where once again the place was deserted.

Connie: "I don't get it, where be Molly, the Captain an' everyone else?"

Killer Bob: "Hang on, there's a note pinned to this wall. It says, 'Øye and the rest of your traitorous gang, meet us at the Rock Lodge in Gnejs for the final battle'."

So they all boarded the submarine for one last journey, this time to Gnejs, where…

Øystein Øye, the Gnejsian government official-turned-pirate-turned-assassin,
Hannah Øye, his estranged wife,
Killer Bob, the ageing assassin looking for a peaceful retirement,
Goran McEnroe, the objectionable tennis player,
Guru Beth Rati Pumba, the down on his luck sage,
Lars Varg, the annoying child who has already experienced more trauma than any child should have to,
Lars' mum, his long suffering single mother,
Connie, the lovelorn serving wench,
Gilbert, the laid back dude who disappointed his parents by not studying accounting and the rest of his surfing pals,
Queen Alma, the suspicious monarch,
Sentient map, the map that talks,
Unsinkable Sam, the ship's cat…

were to face off against…

Lei Siulung, cabal Grand Master and occasional sports reporter,
King Alswitch, the ruler of all the Baggies,
Captain Fletcher, commander of HMS Onslaught,
The entire crew of HMS Onslaught,
Molly, the proprietress of the tavern,
Jakob, the Gnejsian government official,
An unknown number of Lodge assassins,
Half the Gnejsian police force…

by **Pemecutan** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 7:50 pm

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || News || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5

Chapter 6

It is 8 am in the morning Pemecutan Standard Time (PST). The day of the official appointment. The situation in Puri Pamecutan, the residence of Ratu Hawir Bhuja, is very busy. Everyone checks the last detail of the preparation for the ceremony. In the Jeroan, the private courtyard of the palace, seems quite quiet. Just a few servants that come and go. At the Bale Dauh, Western Pavilion, Crown Prince Dharma Negara is being dress for the ceremony. While the ceremony itself will be held in 2 hours.

Elsewhere, Patih Madya Ngurah Agung Kusumajaya anxiously waiting for the news coverage of the ceremony. He wants to know everything as the intelligent prevent him to come back. The country is in high alert. In Toluiwa itself, the conference almost taking to its end. This friday is the last scheduled event with the closing ceremony held later tonight. The agenda today is continuing the security meeting. While the economy meeting have been closed yesterday. Kusumajaya might attend the closing meeting later this afternoon and the closing gala dinner later tonight. This would distract him from the anxiety.

The Day That We've Been Waiting For

The ceremony is started precisely at 10 am PST. It is broadcasted internationally so Kusumajaya could watch it from Toluiwa. The procession is quite simple as it is for administration only. The grandious coronation ceremony will be held in around 2 years as they are waiting for the perfect day based on Pemecutan duwasa calculation. While he is watching the ceremony, Kusumajaya search for other news about the supposed protests. He run throw the online news channels to find him. A footage from SBS, Kanginan main broadcasting media, show the protest have been started in Mengwi. There are so many of them walking through the main street of Mengwi, Kanginani capital. The protest is very regular. They are just using banners with words that expressing their demands or opinion. Chanting can be heard as these people passing the media. It is obvious that they demand change. But Kusumajaya frowned. What kind of change that they wants?

He recalls the day when devolved government was established. That was happening around 50 years ago. And these constituent states have get a lot of power to control their own jurisdiction with little intervention from the central government. Ratu Hawir Bhuja has become only as a figurehead with less power than they are used to. Despite they are still controlling the armed forces. But then again, many changes have been made and Kusumajaya can't imagine what kind of change that these people demanding.

He search again for footage in another city. The rally have also been started in Petang and Sanur. While in Ubung, the protesters are gather around the city's square which facing the city hall. He also find footage of protest in Kesiman which centered in the palace garden of Puri Jambe Kesiman, the residence of the Raja of Kesiman. He just hope that this protests don't go wild. The police have to restrict themselves.

He turn his attention to the TV as the ceremony is almost ended. Crown Prince Dharma Negara is now officially the 10th Ratu Hawir Bhuja or Paramount King of Pemecutan. He walks out of the Wantilan Agung Hall which located at Jaba Dalem or the inner courtyard of Puri Pamecutan. He passed the Kori Agung, the elaborate inner gate of the palace and into the Jaba Sisi, the outer courtyard. There, the media welcomed him with hundreds of camera flashes. The people who attend the ceremony are also waving at the their new king. They are positioned behind the barrier.

So, no riots, no anarchies, nothing. They are just rallying, chanting their demands, gather around in the city center. That's it. Then why is the intelligent is so afraid about this? I'm confused. Is it because Kanginani politicians are involved and back this protests? They are so absurd. Well, the scale of the protestors should be highlighted. There are thousands of them. Although I'm still not understand what else that they wants. What is it needed to change again? Well, I do hear their demands. I have the copy of the proposal that they have given to Ratu Penglingsir. But I just can't find the needs to change. Maybe I have to go to Kanginan to find out. Reaching the core problem. Let's put it in my schedule list. And it is my top priority.

by **Eshialand** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 8:37 pm

Now What?
Eshialand 4-1 Astograth
Equestria 2-4 Eshialand

"Josh."
"Karsten!"
"Tournament Report."
"That's no intro Josh, we need a second take!"
"I don't care."

SKRRR---

"Well Karsten, I come bearing the best of news."
"And that is?"
"Coach Morgan came back and managed the team for their last couple of matches! And both were wins, may I add."
"Really? I really thought he was about to resign there."
"Everybody did, but there's no such thing as a bad day for a pleasant surprise."
"I guess so Josh. However... you don't sound like that's the only surprise you have."
"Nope, that's it!"
"No, it definitely sounds like there's something up."
sighs "Okay fine."
"So..."
"Jake Harran hasn't been getting any time with the team. Hell, he hasn't even been seen in the stadium half the time!"
"He what?"
"Don't ask me Karsten, all I know is what I've been seeing. For once I haven't been talking with anyone on the team. Maybe he just doesn't feel like playing?"
"You'd think if that were the case he'd come back when Coach Morgan did."
"Evidently not. Who knows, could just be a personal thing."
"Maybe... anyway, who's pummeling us into the ground next window?"
"Obrela and Boring Paradise."
"Sounds like a joy!"
"Go Owls?"
"Go Owls!"

by **Srubnaya culture** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:26 pm

Vladimir Ivanov having a conversation with Uxtamata Neopolis after failing to win a game in the last cutoff

"We didnt even manage to win this time, the Owner is going to be soo upset with us"

"If we can manage to win 2 more will we still have a chance to win our cup."

"If by some miracle defenitly"

"Well then we will work harder, This streak of losing games cannot continue. "

"You said that the last time, we need a pefect cutoff for soo many reasons, our stadium numbers are dropping quickly"

"We will get you that perfect cutoff Ivanov, trust us, and if we dont we will still get atleast one win"

"At this rate anything that isnt 2 lossess is fine with me"

by **Eshialand** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 11:37 pm

Return

Harry Dooley Park is a small park, almost a parkette, in downtown Eshialand City. In that park lie a couple small benches. Sometimes, people will sit there and have coffee, other times older folks will come down and play chess as children watch, trying to grasp the game. Today, however, was just a bit different. There's been a woman sitting at the bench under the old oak tree for a few hours now, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

In the late afternoon, as the sun began its descent back behind the tall buildings of the capital's skyline, a young man of 28 years approaches her, his blond hair blowing in the warm August breeze. "Mind if I sit down?" he asks her, not noticing her face as quite a familiar one.

"Jacob Harran?" the woman asks, knowing exactly who he was, as if he was an old friend from his childhood. Yes, he was quite the well-known face in the nation, his number 10 being worn by scores of young boys and girls who wanted to be just like him when they grew up, but this was a different sort of welcome. The kind that you could tell in a moment was more friendly than admiring.

"Aye, I'm the same one... and who were you again?" he asks her. She turned her face towards him as he sat down, answering with a name he hadn't heard in quite a few years. "Why, I'm Alana Markai." she said.

Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. Wasn't she run out of the country forever? Wait no, that was Glinda Monaghan. Alana Markai... well she was just someone who nobody had seen in so long. It had been, what, five years since ENN fired her? Where had she gone since then? He just had to know.

"Look, I know it's been a few years since we last spoke--"
"A bit of an understatement..." Jake added, "but go on."
"I was hoping to know how you've been."

Jake looked at her with a bit of skepticism. This was Alana Markai, the queen of bullshit. She'd shown up drunk on Tournament Report multiple times, attempted to incite a mob in a foreign country, and won the Reztilup Award for Least Professional Journalist two years in a row. "Cut the crap," he told her quite abrasively, "I wanna know why you're really here."

Alana sighed and said "well, this is gonna take a while..." She then offered Jake a HazelNutter bar, and started with her story. "So you see, I'm on this bench here because... frankly, I need to get my life out of this mess it's been in the past few years."

"Whaddya mean?" Jake asked, still skeptical about what this whole thing was supposed to be.

"I'm Eshialand's biggest f**kup. I know that. I'm not about to sugar-coat any of it. I'm done a lot of reprehensible stuff, and I know what you're about to say," she noted as Jake's mouth opened to say something, "yes, that is a massive understatement. I lost my way in this world. I drank that pain away, and I drove away those I love the most. I've lost multiple jobs to all this, got indefinitely banned from twii.tur three years ago, and that's just the tip of the damn iceberg..."

Jake's eyes started to well up, as he realized that Alana was actually telling the truth here. She wasn't being her usual self. He could tell that something had truly changed inside her.

"Things are different for me now. I sobered up, I've kept myself composed. And now, I want to restart my life, get things back on track... but only Maggie knows what there even is in this nation. Everyone knows who I am, and nobody likes who I was. I've genuinely been trying to improve as a person, but I'm never ever going to get the chance to show that. I threw away my life to the point of no return... and that's where this bench comes in.

"I've just been here trying to figure things out. Figure out my proper direction, what path to take, and where I should let life lead me next..."

"Alana..." Jake told her, "...as hard as it may be to believe, I get it. I get exactly where you're coming from."

"You do? But wait, you have everything going for you, right? You have your team, you have Alice, has she been doing alright by the way? I hope you two have been well..."

"Yeah, she's been alright... but right now I'm at a bit of a crossroads myself. When Coach disappeared... I dunno, I kinda thought about my place on this team. What it really means to be me."

"Nonsense!" Alana yelled. "You have a whole career ahead of you! You easily have 5 more years on this team, and from there, you have your special someone who your new life can start with--"

"Not necessarily..." Jake continued. "Look, as great as it may seem to be me, I kinda feel like I'm missing the purpose I once had. I've been typecast as this one 'super cool soccer player' and if I ever wanna restart my life, I have that going right against me. Anywhere I go, I'm that guy."

"I envy your position Jake, I really do... for you, who you are is a positive. Your reputation precedes you in the best way possible. You get hired instantly at any job you want. As for me? My life is in the dumpster because of my own mistakes. I'm irredeemable Jake. I really am."

Jake grabbed a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to Alana, as he could tell she was about to cry. "Look... I can tell you're trying here. I really can, and I wish you all the best... no, genuinely I do. I just wish there was a way I could help..."

"You know, you've already helped quite a bit. There's a Jim Morton's across the way there, and I've been trying to build up the courage to start my life reset and apply over there. Not the best work, but we all have to start somewhere. It's sure as heck a lot better than living off my parents' money like I'm 16 again. I've just been too scared to actually go over there and apply... too scared they'll know my past and reject me instantly. Too scared I'll mess things up all over again."

"Alana?" Jake asked.
"Yes?"
"You've got this."

A week later, Jake and Alice would be heading out to get their morning coffee, stopping by that same Jim Morton's across from Harry Dooley Park. And there, to take their order, was their newest employee; Ms. Alana Markai. "Hello and welcome to Jim Morton's, how can I help you?" she said, smiling at the man who helped her finally commit to her new life.

by **Sylestone** » Tue Feb 21, 2023 11:41 pm

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR SENTIENT

Part Eight

Kitchener Stadium, Avondale

”YES,” screamed Brett as he rose from his chair, the crowd behind him answering his roar in similar fashion - pure elation. Next to him, 20-year-old defensive midfielder Jacob Farrow reacted in similar fashion, the two looking like lunatics to everyone else on the bench, who were more or less enthusiastically clapping their teammates. But the two boys - or young men, as they really were - did not give two shits. This was the club they had supported ever since they knew what football was, and to see them 1-0 up on the stroke of half time in a home Avondale derby was all an Avondale City fan could ever wish for.

After all, it wasn’t known as the biggest football match on the Sylestonean calendar for no reason. In the heat of the moment, even players got caught up in the heat of the moment and lost their mental control, resulting in some rather violent brawls and even the occasional fan invasion. Most of the time, this kind of thing was caused by players who had in the past been fans of the club they donned the jersey for, with their passion overruling any sense of calm they should have while representing the club.

Fortunately, this time, most players kept themselves in check, even Capitol Athletic defender and lifelong fan James Heagney, whose mistake ultimately led to Aoi Kyouka’s finish, or Avondale City young gun Charlotte Eastwood, whose pass to the Chromatik full back provided the assist for the goal. It was a fiery finish, too - from almost a 90-degree angle, for Kyouka to have the composure and skill to fire it over Oscar Murray’s head and into the net was rather impressive considering she had less than a second to react before Alexander Stable bore down on her. Sure, maybe if first choice goalkeeper Iñaki Pena hadn't earned himself a red card for a set of malicious tackles in a 0-0 draw with the Kirkham Appliances three games ago, the visitors’ deficit would not have occurred, but such is football.

With Kyouka’s goal in the direct forefront of everyone’s minds heading into the break, an overwhelmingly positive buzz emanated around the dressing room. Even John Lawson, usually a pretty down to earth guy, was seemingly willing too much, trusting that his squad knew exactly what was expected of them.

“Just keep up what you’re doing. If we keep playing like we are, we win this game and it’s not even close. I’ll start thinking about subs around the hour mark and yeah, just signal if you need to come off. That’s all I’m going to say, as I know that all of you need this time to rejuvenate yourselves for an even tougher second half. They’re going to come out firing, we know that. We’ve just got to be prepared to withstand every single move they make.”

* * *

Brett stood on the sidelines, hands on hips, the Kitchener Stadium atmosphere’s deafening silence so obvious that he couldn’t force his mouth to form words, even if produced under his breath. It had only been five minutes since Lawson had asked him to warm up just in case and now, it looked like he would be injected into the match. And what a bittersweet way to do it, too. Fully aware that he’d only be given a chance against his club’s bitter rivals if goals were required, to receive that game time was not necessarily a good sign, but to play in an Avondale derby… it had been Brett’s lifelong dream.

It’s a positive either way, he thought to himself. Let’s go make the most of it.

“KITCHENER STADIUM, PLEASE WELCOME TO THE FIELD IN PLACE OF NUMBER 16 ZARA WHEALS, THE AVONDALE CITY NUMBER EIGHT. BRETT SARRRRRRRCAV-JONES!”

Beneath Brett, the sideline disappeared into the unmistakable lime green grass of Kitchener Stadium, spray-painted every week to ensure it maintains that colour throughout the entire football season. Around him, the 65,000-strong crowd exploded into noise, most clapping, some cheering, with a small, scattered portion of maroon-clad fans loudly booing the news. Upon instruction from his coach, Brett slid into the central midfield to help defend against this Capitol Athletic offensive… only to find himself marking a very familiar face. One he had kept in semi-regular contact with ever since they first truly met after that famous Campionato Esportiva match against Macbon, where a new-look Sylestonean football team broke all sorts of records.

Only an instant’s mental communication passed between Brett and his relatively new colleague, Noah Smythe, before they sprinted off, jostling each other as they moved into position, but it was enough to transmit their thoughts across.

HELLO.

Or, at least, that was what Brett thought the thought read. He didn’t actually know for certain, but from the expression on Noah’s face, it was rather obvious that it wasn’t much more than that. They knew what the most important thing was in this very moment, and it wasn’t a formal greeting.

As Brett settled into the tempo of the match, very quickly realising that it's urgency was a good level above that he had been used to playing at with the Under-21’s, the ball began to arrive at his feet more and more often as the Lime Greens gradually wrestled back the advantage. But as time ran out and five minutes of stoppage time were announced on the fourth official’s electronic board, no goals were forthcoming and the echoes of the frustrated crowd indicated their displeasure.

It was now or never. Although the passage of play had been very even since Alyssa Hightower’s equaliser, the possibility of a late Capitol Athletic winner hadn’t even crossed Brett’s mind. This was Avondale City’s game to win, and he was going to do his utmost best to ensure that they would emerge from it with three crucial, vital points.

As if on cue, the chance came, less than a minute into stoppage time, with a wayward backward pass from Mary Levy ensuring that the ball would go out for an Avondale City corner. Instead of heading in the general direction of the back post as he would in Under-21 matches, though, Brett instead found himself on the edge of the box, preparing to control the ball in the case that the ball was directed back out to his feet.

Jack Lawson’s corner wasn’t the best that the midfielder had, but Alexander Stable’s front post header was just as misguided, going higher rather than longer… right into the path of Brett’s run forward.

Get there on the volley! No… it’s dropping too fast. Too many defenders… can’t take a touch. Passing? No one around. Fuck it, I have to shoot.

As thoughts clamoured through Brett’s head, the ball gradually began to dip, touching the ground just as his foot was about to crash into the dead centre of the sphere. The half volley shot - it was a difficult one to master and control but as the crowd held itself in baited breath, Brett found himself backing his abilities.

Believe in yourself. You can do this.

Never had the sound of foot on ball created such a crystal clear sound in his eardrums. At least, to him. He knew that to all sporting the maroon, it was a dull thud, straight into their hearts. As soon as he hit it, an innate knowledge told him that his goal had been achieved… quite literally. Rocket-like, the white-and-black sphere proceeded to dissect the tiny space left between the bodies of defenders Kayla Johnstone and Jason Williams, evading the outstretched boot of James Heagney and the shocked expression of Oscar Murray.

Brett didn’t even have to watch the progress of the ball. The reaction of his teammates and the rising of the crowd as one confirmed all he had to know.

Never had Brett felt so welcomed, so loved, by so many people. Embracing the crowd, Brett found himself in the thick of it, surrounded by fans who simply wanted to get close to him, close to the match winner.

Yeah, this is nice. I like this job.

From that point onwards, it was as though the life had been snuffed out of the Capitol Athletic attack. Although they still had a few precious minutes to attempt to get one back, they very quickly realised that their attempts were futile - much to the joy of the vast majority of those watching, and to the frustration of the small segments of maroon and black, who very quickly filed out of the stadium to the jeering of the swathes of lime green and yellow they cantered past on their way out.

And honestly, you couldn’t blame them. For the first time in a decade, the Maroons had slumped to three losses in a row. In an unprecedented bid to achieve their fourth Toilet League title in a row and their fifth in six seasons, they had surely faltered.

But despite that, there was still one Maroon Brett wanted to talk to after the final whistle blew. As the match winner, though, he could exactly do it without the act seeming like a needless gloat.

As a result, Brett was incredibly relieved when the tap on the shoulder he received as he wandered towards his loving fans at the Freyendale Road end came from just the person he was after.

Doing his best to put on a brave face, Noah Smythe shook Brett’s outstretched hand. “Well played, mate,” he said.

“Thanks. You did well, too. Good game.”

“Yeah, it’s not been the best season for the club. Anyway, looking at them, I think you’ve got other plans for now. Talk to you soon.”

“You too. Just… go and beat some other top four teams will you? I think we’re only in fifth so…”

“You play for Avondale City. I play for Capitol Athletic. In the time that we’re at these clubs, I am never, ever doing a favour for you.”

Brett answered with a wry smile. “Well, we’ll see about that one, shall we?”

Quakmybush vs Sylestone @ Somewhere, Quakmybush

Quakmybush: Unknown

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 4-2-3-1): Cavendish; Davis - Pearson - Faucett (Hand Sanitiser 86’) - Dishwasher; Stanton - Rodway ( 54’) (Blair 80’) - Lawson (Bar Stool 80’) - Fridge; Fleetwood (Keyes 64’ ( 78’)); Tumble Dryer

Quakmybush 0-0 Sylestone

Sylestone vs Gran Saguaro @ Carson Stadium, Cleorough, Sylestone

Sylestone (4-4-1-1): Brick Wall; Holt (Davis 82’) - Washing Machine - Damasekara - Toilet ( 27’); Henling - Paterson (Rodway 46’) - Blair ( 85’) - Fridge (Jones 46’); Love ( 45+2’) (Fleetwood 82’ ( 90+1’); Tumble Dryer (Hightower 46’)

Sylestone 0-0 Gran Saguaro

Starting Lineup vs Eura @ Bastion Arena, Bastion, Eura

Fuller; Ironing Board - Mornington - Faucett - Keller; Cayden Holmes - Rodway - Brown - Jones; Keyes; Strathfield

Starting Lineup vs Kandorith @ Chamberley Institute of Sport, Chamberley

Fuller; Holt - Mornington - Hand Sanitiser - Toilet; Henling - Bar Stool - Brown - Fullers; Fleetwood; Hightower

by **Brookstation** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 4:05 am

UNFORGETTABLE MATCHDAYS

BREVAL LE BATALIE AND THE FOUR GOALS AT DASON THAT HAD DASON FANS CRYING

The career of Andreas Roles at Other side of Paradise doesn’t hold much significance although it should. During his initial years at the club, he would break the scene after scoring the winner in their derby against Dreamland City. From then on, he has always displayed the potential to lead Other side of Paradise in the years to come. Apart from Robes, Roles has always been the club’s best, displaying his skills in a series of crazy situations. Thus it wouldn’t be much of a surprise to imagine him playing a game where one single player scored four goals.

During the 2023/24 season, Roles found himself behind Leon Michael Robes and Ravi Mohanty at the starting lineup at the Joestar Stadium. However, with Robes signing for Cednia Beach on the deadline and Mohanty missing, the day was finally set to see Roles in “the role” he actually deserved. He knew that he was ready for it, leading Other side of Paradise.

As it would turn out however, Roles had to very little to do in the game apart from scoring a goal that was disallowed. Instead the honour of scoring four goals would go to Breval le Batalie, a man whom Roles had not paid much attention to upon his signing in 2021. “He’s definitely a starter for the club but I have never seen him play much, it was usually Robes and Mohanty who did the job.”

Le Batalie had arrived to Other side of Paradise among a lot of fanfare. With his move being delayed by a few months, he was Other side of Paradise’s free signing along with others that year. The previous year he had played a crucial role for his college Melito d’Argentueill in Oberour ar Moro and it was the skilful display that led Paradise to sign the young blood.

Going into the match against Dason that day, the Oberouran had helped OSOP to turn the tables with quite a deficit, against Essidise to secure the title the previous year. Meanwhile, the hosts had been enjoying a fine time, thanks to the unbreakable bond formed between Matt Strongwick and Daniel Kerlov. Lucky for Paradise, the latter was going to miss the must win game for their title race, due to an injury. Thus in Kerlov’s absence, the hopes of winning rested entirely on Strongwick’s shoulders.

The initial phases of the game seemed as if Mohammad Mandrea was going to steal the “star player” title from Strongwick, with the goalkeeper making an array of saves to keep out Strongwick, Rosario Riccobono and Kerlov’s replacement Maxwell Diakhate. Other side of Paradise’s play in the opening-half hour would be restricted only to a few counter attacks, none of which yielded a goal. In fact, Dason already had the advantage thanks to a beautifully crafted Matt Strongwick free-kick which put them on the lead. Le Batalie himself commented in disgust, “Had I not scored that day, you probably wouldn’t have seen me.”

The goal in discussion resulted thanks to the creative team effort of OSOP’s most creative pair, Felix de Amienz and Alexis de la Vega. Just minutes after clearing Strongwick’s goal from the centre, la Vega stole the ball from Rasihawn Donaldson before scooping the ball over to de Amienz to chip onto the edge of the box. Adrian Gigore slipped to get the ball away but nicking the ball away was le Batalie, with his first strike smashing the crossbar from inside. The Oberouran jumped off in celebration, with his fingers on his lips. The crowd at FBM Arena went silent, but it would not be the first instance.

The goal had very little impact on the game, with Riccobono equalising as soon as the whistle blew for restart. In fact, Other side of Paradise were still restricted to very little possession. They had entered half time with some satisfaction but as the second half commenced, they were again behind.

To counter this, Marius Popescu substituted Stuart Cook for Trevor Liddicott. The substitution paid off well, with the addition of the fresh legs to the attack led the ball to le Batalie who disposed of Weber Banfi on the edge of the box and caught the attention of the crowd with a shot that resulted into his second of the day.

It had been 11 whole years since any player from the opposition had scored a hat-trick at the FBM Arena. The last of his kind, the honourable Bob Williams was just going to be joined by le Batalie. De Amienz’cross had not been cleared well by Antony Baccus and the Oberouran would take one touch to divert the ball away, before firing past Rybus for the third time, beating Rybus’ reflexes. With the surprised Rybus lying on his back, there was a moment of terrifying silence. Le Batalie himself paused for a few seconds to digest the whole situation before running past the crowd, celebrating with the evident look of amazement on his face.

Le Batalie’s exploits that day was just one aspect of the game if one carelessly overlooked the brilliance of Dason which overrode Le Batalie’s performance. Just within a span of five minutes, Dason equalised once again, again with Strongwick the source. Diakhate had done a good job in curling a cross but the striker’s sublime shot which opened up a huge space for Steven Antonio, was simply fabulous. Mandrea got a touch of the ball but the curvy shot was too fast for any pair of gloves.

As far as the title race was concerned at that point, a draw could only edge Dason past SC Lagos, with their rivals still having three games to spare. Dason had no choice but to go all out for a win. Strongwick struck once again but this time, Cristian Luengo would deny him the second hat-trick of the day whilst Banfi also missed a close attempt.

But their failed attempt would work in Other side of Paradise’s favour. There were quite a few gaps created at the back line of Dason and who could exploit it better than Liddicott. The substitute ran almost the entire length of the field, as Dason struggled to get back to their original positions. He seemed to be entirely on his own until another teammate in red appeared out of the blue, storming towards the goal. Liddicott gladly passed the ball into safer legs. Le Batalie took one touch, brought the ball under his control and pulled his right foot before hitting the target for the fourth time that day and followed another crazy celebration from the Oberouran. This positivity would very unfortunately be clouded upon the last blow of the whistle which would be heard only after Riccobono had equalised for Dason minutes into injury time. When asked about his brilliance, Popescu summed up by saying “Honestly, I didn’t expect that but perhaps I am not too old to witness wonders.”

This game had set le Batalie immense standards and what’s better is that he still maintains it. Almost a regular for the Oberour ar Moro team, le Batalie hasn’t disappointed his national side either. In his six year stay at Brookstation, he hasn’t replicated a similar performance but those who witnessed the beauty behind the madness that day were just lucky enough.

MORE FROM THE BEAUTIFUL GAME :
The great camp of Oberouran players at Brookstation
Leon Michael Robes and the wonders at Joseph Joestar Stadium
Legendary Other side of Paradise manager, Marius Popescu set to retire after a decade of brillaince

by **Gnejs** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 4:29 am

Endgame - Part 1

…they all boarded the submarine for one last journey, this time to Gnejs…

One travel montage later

They had been on them from the very beginning. Docking on the northeastern coast, far from Port Kejm and far from any of the big cities, had seemed like the right way to do it. They’d go undetected, they’d figured, buying themselves some time to set up their advance and launch their attack with the element of surprise working in their favor. Who knows how the Rock Lodge picked up on them. One of those drones, maybe? Some sort of high-tech sensors? Old-fashioned scouts positioned all along the coast? Of course, they knew that they knew that they were coming. The note had challenged them to, and it was obvious that at some point there’d be heavy opposition. Still, they were surprised at how quickly trouble found them.

Øye had barely touched Union soil before a combined force of Constabulary and Coast Guard officers descended upon them. They had been hiding in a shrubbery just off the beach, and now they came charging, with electrified batons and tridents swinging. Øye would’ve been done for, and little Lars about a head shorter, had it not been for the swiftness of Goran’s backhand thrust and some sage knuckle work from the Guru. Killer Bob, Gilbert and the teenage ninja surfers managed to subdue the rest of them, but they quickly realized that they needed to start moving; there was more where that was coming from. They stole a Type 2 Transporter minibus at a campsite parking lot and went full throttle towards The Interior and the Rock Lodge.

There were roadblocks set up along the way, and it seemed like the Lodge conspiracy ran deep also within the Highway Patrol Constabulary. Thankfully, the Sentient Map turned out to be one hell of a smooth talker, and it managed to get them through the first three roadblocks with nothing more than its silver tongue. But it all fell apart at the fourth one. The roadblock was positioned right at the outer edges of The Interior, where the paved roads gave way to gravel and dirt. Hannah – who was driving – rolled down her window and presented the Sentient Map, sure that it’d work its magic once again. But without warning the Highway Constable produced a great knife and begun tearing into the map, slashing at it ferociously.

They all screamed, and for a moment it seemed like their trusted Friend and navigator was done for, but instead its googly eyes turned a malevolent shade of red and it savagely counterattacked. The Constable’s minions swiftly raised their arms and charged the minibus, hacking away at it with their longswords and battleaxes. The Sentient Map, Goran and a score of teenage ninja surfers stormed against the foe, to buy the rest of the party enough time to escape through the sunroof and flee into the forest.

As they ran, hoping to lose any pursuers in the dense foliage, branches scraped their faces and thorns tore at their clothes. They could hear the anguished shouts of the Roadblock Battle in the distance, and they kept running, their breaths coming in ragged gasps. After what seemed like hours upon hours, they finally stopped to rest at the bottom of a narrow valley. They were all exhausted and terribly worried about how their compatriots had fared against the Highway Patrol and if they would ever see them again. Little Lars was crying, clinging to his mother and demanding that she bring back Goran to him. The Guru had taken a hit from a stray battle-axe and was bleeding heavily from his left shoulder. Queen Alma, her spiked hair due in complete disarray, was tending him. Killer Bob was an experienced dweller of The Interior, but even he felt lost this far north. He had great difficulty trying to pinpoint their current location, and he was unsure where they needed to go to reach the Rock Lodge. However, fate would have it that they needed not travel to the Lodge, because the Lodge had come to them.

All of a sudden, dark hooded figures emerged from the trees and had them surrounded. There was King Alswitch, the ruler of all the Baggies, with his King’s Guard of drunken Mohawk hooligans. There was Molly, the proprietress of the tavern, commanding an entire legion of disgraced Electrumite serving wenches armed with broken beer bottles. There was Captain Fletcher, commander of HMS Onslaught, and his entire crew. There was the Rock Lodge Master (Lennart, also the Prosaic Union Minister for Fisheries and Coastal Affairs), and his apprentice, the treacherous Jakob Pettson (employee of the Ministry for Culture, Sports and Other Charitable Activities, and former Friend of Øystein and Hannah). They were at the helm of a massive contingent consisting of Constabulary and Coast Guard officers, Lodge Assassins and suit-clad ministry bureaucrats armed with spiked clubs. And, in the middle of it all, there was Lei Siulung, cabal Grand Master, and occasional sports reporter.

Connie and the Guru put themselves in front of little Lars to protect him. Killer Bob, Øye and Queen Alma got out their brass knuckles; while Gilbert and his teenage ninja surfers held their katanas high. Hannah stood at the front staring at the foe. They were all ready to fight, but things looked utterly hopeless.

Lei Siulung smiled, but just as she was about to launch the attack, they were interrupted by the sound of a blasting war-horn. Everybody froze, on both sides, looking around nervously. Then little Lars came forward and screamed:

And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth!

There was silence, and then the Lodge army started laughing. What nonsense! The fabled Horn of Winter? Giants? Nothing but Gnejsian Folk Tales. There are no such things, Rock Lodge Master Lennart told little Lars mockingly. Then, the horn sounded once again, and now something materialized at the top of the hill. They all looked up, and Øystein shouted: “Those are not giants; it’s the Gnejsian Tennis Federation!”

Mounted on destriers and carrying sharpened racquets, there was GTF Head Tangeus Falk and players like Georg Heraklit and Dorotea Granit, leading a vast cavalry made up of aspiring and established Union tennis players. Bands of forest shamans, led by former tennis coach Zarathustra Hansen, flanked them. At the very front of this Wild Hunt, sat doubles specialist Arne Oxwald, together with his old partner, Goran McEnroe; right behind them the old Baggieland tennis star John Ivanišević, togheter with the Sentient Map.

Hannah smiled. Then she set her scythe’s blade on fire and thrusted it into the air, screaming “Out of Darkness Cometh Light!”

And then they all charged.

by **Krytenia** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 4:34 am

OOC: Montaña Verde, this headline is entirely your fault.

You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
By Rami Niblick in Bradwell

AS we transition to the endgame of qualifying, it's becoming ever more clear that it will be three from four for the qualification and playoff spots. The only question remaining to be answered is simple; which one of the quartet is going to be the unlucky one? Whilst the table currently suggests it's going to be our own fourth-placed Dragons, there are still eight matches to be played, plenty of twists and turns along the road, and the fact that Baker Park are only two points ahead of us and still needing to come to our place.

One thing is clear, though, if we want to get to the promised land. The unforced errors need to stop now. Sonny Chiesa is in danger of turning from defensive rock into back-line liability. From the needless red card, to giving away the free-kick for Montaña Verde's second, to being run ragged by Theodor Armitage all day long against Tikariot, it's starting to become evident that the Dragons' vice-captain's lack of pace is starting to catch up with him. Either that, or not having the raw running power of Gavin Healey next to him has exposed the Tanques AOE defender's shortcomings. Perhaps it's time for Chiesa to be put out to pasture in Ko-oren, and bring in a new face for the defence. Given where Chiesa is struggling, I'd suggest adding some speed to Robert Gorman's technical prowess, with the standout contender being Hibs' Derek Higgins. The sheer pace of Higgins, combined with Gorman's more measured play, could be an absolute stonewall of a combination at the back. While we're at it, maybe replace David Green at left-back. True, Stephen Lorimer doesn't have the speed that Green does, but he also doesn't give away nearly so many needless fouls.

Then there's Amanda Bach. On her day, she's amazing; she has a flexibility that makes one think she's made of rubber. When the mistakes come, though, they've been absolute howlers. It's really a question of putting faith in her - she's still only twenty, so plenty of time to grow out of those mistakes - or bringing in Gabriel Almada in the short term and risk knocking Bach's confidence even further. There's also option three, but Louis Kendrick is untested at this level so there's certainly an element of risk involved there, too.

Krytenia's next three games, against sides for whom qualification is either impossible (Raspotochje), near enough to impossible (Oscioru), or needing at least a couple of snookers (Atheara), are now absolutely must-win. Not because it allows those teams into the conversation - with the possible exception of Atheara - but because the game after those three is the aforementioned match against Baker Park at the IOS is crucial, and the Dragons need to be at worst where they are now; that is to say, where they can overtake the Commonwealth with a win. If that happens, we can maybe begin to dream. Onward!

by **Juvencus** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 5:08 am

LA SQUADRA, THE RECORD-CONQUERORS!

La squadra finds itself in a peculiar place in the middle of the qualifiers, sitting in 2nd place of the table, just a few points off of instant qualification

Gli attaccanti are having the cycle of a lifetime at this very moment. A cycle filled with winstreaks, upsets and most importantly, a clear task at hand that seems to be inching closer and closer with each game. Madeiros' side have been clear record-conquerors ever since the shaky start of the qualifiers. A 10-win streak(which only got broken by a tie against Drawkland), undefeated for 12 games straight at this point, including a massive victory against Nyowani Kitara and countless streaks or records broken against every single side but one.

It is clear that this team is world cup bound and would much prefer avoiding sitting where it is at right now, in 2nd place of the group only 2 points behind our Revoda Sea rivals who are on a clear mission of their own. They are the only team that la squadra have not beaten in the group stages this time around and it is the only negative record in this list. Or at least a lack of a record that could be considered part of the record-conquerors team that has been assembled.

Without further ado however, we are going to analyse all our records as they are standing so far, post-matchday 14.

Starting off with the team's goalscoring and defensive record here, group 1 is obviously one of the most aggressive groups out there with a clear lack of a defensive team altogether. What this means is that there has been a goal flurry after goal flurry in nearly every single matchday. This is particularly true for la squadra as it has managed to score every single matchday, holding an average of 3.2 goals scored per game. It has the highest goalscoring record in the group and one of the highest in the entire world cup qualifiers only behind a certain other Holy Empire, known for breaking space and time on a consistent basis with their team, which is freakish. Gli attaccanti ironically also have the best defensive record in group 1, with 19 goals conceded, on par with surprising Lozho but with a way higher goals differential to show for it.

First record that got broken was against the Licentian Isles on matchday 4, gli attaccanti was off the back of 3 winless matchdays while the Licentian Isles were coming off a 3-win streak. This might have gone into their heads as la squadra gave them a piece of them and despite barely itching out with the victory, they stopped them right off their tracks and reversed their fates altogether.

Next up, delivering debutantes St Saratoga their harshest ever defeat. In one of the biggest victories in Juven football history, la squadra managed to score 6 and concede none against St Saratoga. A dominant performance against a clearly weaker opponent, it was a victory for the ages and record books regardless. Blessed be the heavens.

We have a very important one to crack here, giving Lozho its first home defeat in the qualifiers. An important Limene brace on his first opportunity to represent la squadra in this cycle finished by a Callejon goal gave gli attaccanti a comfortable 0-3 victory away at Lozho, who are yet to be beaten in their home ground since. This proves to be an important victory against a tough opponent.

Then it is delivering the now-tied worst defeat of Macbon, a massive away victory with a 0-5 scoreline, courtesy of an Adamantina Campana hat-trick, her first in la squadra's colors. The Cordasfjord striker did not stop there, as she also delivered the decisive assist to both Sergio Freitas and Tatiana Vicario to complete the destructive 0-5 victory.

We also have the 4-2 victory against Ethane, a side that was undefeated in away games the whole first half of the qualifiers until they met Juvencus. Gli attaccanti decided to stop their away parties and played some serious football to throw them off their feet. That is not to say it was not a hard-fought victory, after all, it is Ethane and they are still one of the multiverse's most respected teams regardless of their current status in the world stage.

Last, but certainly not least, remaining completely undefeated against pot 1 side Nyowani Kitara. This might be the most important record conquered in the entire qualifiers, a tie away in the start and a resounding 3-0 victory back at the Nuovo Stadio Olimpico. This victory did not only serve as a first cushion and difference maker between the two teams but also stopped Nyowani Kitara's 14-game undefeated streak in the entire qualifiers. With a goal by each of Callejon, Martell and Pereyra, the destructive front 3 gave one of the best victories in la squadra's history and with a show like this, momentum has to be kept for the rest of the qualifiers in order to reach that coveted number 1 automatic qualifying spot.

With that said, we might have to see a lot of that record-conquering team in the foreseeable future and a lot more of Madeiros' tactics being unfolded on the pitch in a manner not seen in so many years. La squadra is well on its course for qualification to the world cup for the first time in 11 years and with a squad this strong, it can even deliver a show on the grandest stage of them all.

by **Eraman** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 5:23 am

I - II - III - IV - V - VI
II.I - II.II

II.III
THE FOURTEENTH GENERAL ELECTION
THE GEO-DEMOGRAPHY OF ERAMAN

The geo-demography of Eraman can roughly be divided into 3 belts, namely:

i. The progressive coastal belt

The progressive coastal belt covers the coastal area of Eraman which includes the states of Aru, Daula, Pasir, Vidya, and Citta. It is the industrial and urban center of the country, housing 5 of the 9 state capitals in the country. The area plays an important role in Eraman's economy with easy access to international markets through ports and various rapidly growing industrial sectors such as manufacturing and tourism.

The seats in this area are mostly mixed-ethnicities urban seats. Voters in these seats are more open to ideologies and ideas that promote economic and social development, including infrastructure and industry development as well as progressive policies. They have more access to information and technology compared to other areas in Eraman which allows them to understand more complex issues related to the latest developments in the country and abroad. The competition in these seats is between the Liberal Democratic Party and the Labour's Justice Party representing the People's Pact against the National Front.

ii. The traditionalist highland belt

The traditionalist highland belt covers the highlands of Eraman which includes the states of Bakti and Puncak, which are the highlands located in the middle of the country. This area is known as a traditional area and is devoted to the religion of Sanatana Krama. The population in this area consists of the Eramanese ethnic group, most of whom are farmers and indigenous people who live in close proximity to nature.

Voters in this area tend to defend their values and traditions inherited from their ancestors and tend to be more conservative and less open to new and modern ideas. They prioritize religious values and see too rapid economic and social development as a threat to their culture and nature. The competition in these seats is between the Eraman Traditionalist Party representing the People's Pact against the National Front.

iii. The Eramanese heartland belt

The Eramanese heartland belt covers the interior of Eraman which includes the Bakti and Puncak border areas with the coastal states. This area is located at the foot of the Krama mountains and is known as an agricultural center and an important source of food for the people of Eraman. The land in this area which is very fertile is suitable for agricultural activities, including rice, fruits, and vegetables.

Voters in this area tend to prioritize issues related to agriculture and rural life, including welfare assistance and infrastructure development that allows them to transport agricultural produce to market more easily and generate better income. The majority of contested seats are located in this area and The National Front has ruled Eraman comfortably all this time due to being the only party coalition that dominates the Eramanese Heartland belt.

by **Sendhang** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:28 am

93RD WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
Matchday 14

Sendhang went down to the Federal Stadium on Matchday 14 for the match against Millenhaal determined to end their 4-match winless streak after losing to Induse and drawing with Gnejs, Kelssek, and Loyo in their last 4 matches. Sendhang had no other choice but to win because the failure to beat Millenhal who was at the bottom of the group after recording only 2 points from 13 games will definitely be unacceptable to Sendhang's supporters.

Teuku Salahudin was in a very depressed state at that time. Supporters' voices began to be heard asking for Salahudin to be dropped. A lackluster performance in the Pemecutan League with Perseman Kesiman and his failure to score in the last 4 matches for Sendhang did not go down well with the fans. However, Salahudin continued to persevere and gave his 100% during the training session.

However, on the day of the match, Teuku Irfan did not list Salahudin's name in the starting line-up, opting to field the veteran 34-years old striker, Gusti Sing Nggawe. Salahudin had to sit on the bench for the whole match and watched his friends play in the intense match. Yes, Millenhaal managed to provide fierce competition for Sendhang, something was wrong with the Rice Farmers.

Luckily for Sendhang, Gusti Sing Nggawe managed to score the only goal of the match in the 75th minute after receiving a beautiful pass from Nanang Wirajuda. The win gave huge relief to Sendhang's supporters but raised questions about Salahudin's future. Teuku Irfan however described his decision to drop Salahudin as based on a tactical decision and not due to pressure from supporters or other factors.

by **Trolleborg** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:42 am

Greetings, compatriots!
It’s TTV and we return to the talk about our teams in the international club tournaments. Right now, second matches of the ICFC preliminary rounds are next in line. And in them our football players and fans were slapped by fate on the cheeks to bring them back to their senses and put them in their real place. This was not very painful, and performed rather just for the sake of, and to give you a chance to change your mind and learn to adequately perceive what is happening.

As we all remember, all four matches in the preliminary round ended with the victories of our players - and this must also be taken into account that they played three of them away. Of course, before the second fixture, the expectations were high. The more painful it was for many.

“Sporting Arrachai”, having arrived to visit “Great March”, had the need to win back two goals difference, but, given the experience and strength of Acastanhans, this task looked rather difficult, but far from impossible. And from the very first minutes, the guests rushed to win back, clearly showing along the way that they learned from the unexpected defeat at home, made throughout analysis of what happened and came up with a lot of creative solutions. Shortly before the break, GM's position became very precarious - the guests opened the scoring, after passing in the center of the field, sending the ball to the run of one of their forwards, who, without approaching the goal, made a powerful and accurate shot into the far corner. And given the momentum that SA received from this goal, multiplied by the playing advantage, the prospect of being left out of the tournament for the hosts seemed very real. Fortunately, during the break, the coach of our champions managed to calm his players down, and the second half went relatively calmly, the offensive impulse of the giant of Acastanhans football was successfully extinguished – but it became clear that without full dedication and maximum readiness it would not be possible to succeed in international football.

The next day, “Torquel Granittknuser” demonstrated the truth of this formulae by his example, being defeated on his home field with a devastating score. The one-goal advantage gained away over “Deportivo Amambay” melted away completely, by the 20th minute the score was 0:2, i.е. to pass to the next round, super-efforts were required, which were never applied in the end. A considerable part of the players who appeared on the field that day could not stand at the required level of dedication needed in order to count on success. In vain the head coach of TG ran along the edge, shaking the air with commands and abuses, in vain he tried to change the course of the game with substitutions. As a result, the guests increased the advantage to three goals and plunged the fans of our other two teams into an extremely anxious mood.

“Alameda Desperados” from Cardenao visiting “FTST”, and by all accounts guests a comparable class team to “Deportivo Amambay”. Therefore, the country, although to some extent satisfied its ambitions for the first tournament with the success of the Great March, surveyed the “aircraft builders” (the nickname of FTST, for international viewers) with caution. Fortunately, they are, according to their coach, carefully watched the matches of our other teams and drew conclusions. Therefore, the outcome of the game, although it could have been this and that, since both teams had chances to score, nevertheless turned out to be positive. In the middle of the first half, the FTST opened the scoring after a beautiful long-range shot, and calmly kept their advantage right till the end.

Finally, “Jesper Torbensen” and “Ivasiocastle United” were the last pair to enter the field, and out of our four debutants about this one Trolleborg had the least concerns, four goals of advantage provided some insurance just in case. Luckily for our fans, the opponents never fully recovered from their heavy defeat in Trolleborg and the JT players scored another big win, 3-0, to the delight of a large delegation of supporters who followed the team. The results of the draw of the first round caught the team on their way home, and caused a lot of healthy laughter - it turned out that in this round JT will play with a team from the same Boring Paradise as “Ivasiocastle United”, so in a certain scenario it would be possible not to leave this country at all and stay in it to wait for the game.

But there was nothing else to laugh about, since our teams got serious opponents as rivals - the champions had to play with Pesub Ubung from Pemecutan, and FTST got into opponents Tikariot's Port Tacassam FC.

by **Ile de Richelieu** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 7:41 am

Île de Richelieu wins 2 in a row!

Novapolis, Novaros - On matchday 13, Île de Richelieu received Pluvia and the Saxean Isles at home and beat them 2-0. Alexandra McDuff-Reilly replaced Valkyrie Dahlen in the starting XI. At the 18th minute, Alexandra McDuff-Reilly passed to Rose-Émilie Bouthillette in the penalty area but, as she was trying to control the ball, Jordan Wallace trips her. It's a penalty for Île de Richelieu. Rose-Émilie Bouthillette is unable to take the penalty and she subs out while Borghild Eggum subs in. Jean-Christophe Gouin takes the penalty, he kicks the ball and it's a goal. 1-0 Cardinals! Île de Richelieu attacked again at the 22nd minute when Ragnhild Austad made a short pass to Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers who kicks the ball and it's in. 2-0 Île de Richelieu. The Cardinals are leading 2-0 at halftime. No on scored in the 2nd half and the final score is 2-0 Île de Richelieu.

Valkyrie Dahlen was back in the starting XI on matchday 14 against Novaros. Rose-Émilie Bouthillette will miss this game while Borghild Eggum will be inserted in the starting XI. Kjell Thorstad will be in goal instead of Bjørnar Grendahl-Kalberg. Novaros took the lead at the 27th minute but Île de Richelieu answered at the 36th minute when Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers made a header pass to Jean-Christophe Gouin who heads the ball into the net. The game is tied at 1-1 and this is the score at halftime. Île de Richelieu had a free kick at the 49th minute. Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers kicks the ball and it goes into the net. The Cardinals takes a 2-1 lead. Tristan Charbonneau passed the ball to Valkyrie Dahlen at the 68th minute. Dahlen dribbles and kicks theh ball, it's a goal. 3-1 Cardinals. At the 74th minute, Ranveig Eriksen passed to Julie McMullen who shoots and the bal is in. 4-1 Île de Richelieu. Nvaros scored another goal at the 90+4 minute and the final score was 4-2 Île de Richelieu.

Bjørnar Grendahl-Kalberg and Rose-Émilie Bouthillette will both be back in the starting XI on matchday 15. Tristan Charbonneau will miss the game for having 5 yellow cards in the tournament and Julie McMullen will replace him in the starting XI. Charbonneau will be back on matchday 16.

Jean-Guy Laframboise.

by **Ko-oren** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 9:07 am

Old clubs! Where have they gone? Have they gone anywhere? Let's find out!
Ancient Ko-orenite Club Football, de-Gehrennification, and the je ne sais quoi of mono no aware

What's the shelf life of a top team? Looking at the Maethorus, the Montreal Koreanas, the various Cathairs, the Raynor City Uniteds, the party never ends. A success story from foundation until the present day with no signs of stopping. Sure, there's the odd cycle here or there where a transfer gone wrong, a coach losing a locker room, or other funny business prevents a team from stringing together titles - but on the whole, these are clubs that have been good since early UICA days (as far as the league they were in 'went anywhere', so to speak) and are still good.

For most teams, however, the shelf life is drastically shorter.

Looking a little further down the rankings over the years, we have our Amineys and Straudums - good teams with occasional decade-long slumps - and our WSR AFCs, which is to say, teams that were mostly nothing except for a miracle span of seven years at some point in their history.

Ko-oren is mostly made up of the latter, especially until the establishment of the modern day Top League, but before said modern day Top League had relegation, effectively keeping the same twelve clubs in a position of power for a little over a decade and gaining an unassailable lead over the rest of the pyramid. Or at least, they had an unassailable lead for a few years until the 'standard 12' were infiltrated and the ones with bad business plans or bad leadership went down. Or, in the case of Cirelbourne United, went down, and then went down again.

At this point, the standard 12 are a thing of the past. Gehrenna FC and WSR AFC are fairly stable factors at the highest tier, with a group of other clubs dropping in and out, while the worst performing clubs of the standard 12 are stuck in the lower tiers - Maynard AFC camped out in tier three for a while after being one of the trend-setters of the Top League, and both clubs of the east Surbourneshire mining derby relegated without much of a chance of them coming back - Bruncester and Cirelbourne, that is.

We've had clubs like this forever. Look at this table, of a random 'KNL1' season:

Kthosl? Jeknolr? Ajongka? What are those names?

Some are recognisable: Maethoru (3rd) and Alara (4th) are exactly who you think they are. They gained a prefix or a suffix and continued their relative dominance atop the pecking order as Maethoru SC and Advance Alara. The same goes for a trio of mid-table clubs between 8th and 10th: Branvun turned into Branvon CD, the fan favourite Santa Teresa squad with questionable squad building priorities. Kangutsu is the second part of Katashi-Kanatsu, opting to use the city name as a standard part of their name. Third of the set is Tangku, who are the biggest example of these clubs of de-Gehrennification.

That was (is) a process in which Gehrennan words were deliberately spelled in the way of language that came into Ko-oren in the last 300 to 500 years. It was a way to show the world that Ko-oren was now part of it, while these languages - Dutch, English, French, Japanese, first and foremost - slowly spread into Ko-orenite society. First in the form of loanwords, later spoken by the rich and famous as a status symbol, and then slowly filtering into all facets of society. It was a process that was somewhat painless and remarkably quick. The clubs weren't founded during those days, of course, but the de-Gehrennification and re-Gehrennification trends followed each other up rapidly over the next centuries. And calling yourself Kanatsu - which is possible using Japanese syllables - instead of Kangutsu - which is possible but didn't sound nearly as nice - was seen as preferable.

Then what's Tangku? They gained an 'AOE' and picked up French spelling - that's Tanques AOE. And for a bonus: Norilya is now known as the city of Norille, a third of the way between Willowbourne and Amineys and famous for supplying a lot of airport personnel - an airport that doesn't even bear the city's name (but instead it's the Willowbourne International Airport).

If you'd ask any high schooler for the other names - Engbrothun, Othushun, Kol, Tkhon, the list goes on - they'd probably recognise them as alternate names for more famous cities and regions, but probably couldn't place them on a map reliably. Because just like Gehrennan changed over time, so did the 'immigrant' languages (even without significant immigrant groups speaking them), and nowadays 'Othushun' is just an old-timey name for the region just outside Sterrenwolde, as (het) 'Oostertje', and accordingly what we once knew as Othushun football club is now Sterrenwolde FC, of one-season-only-in-the-Top-League fame going back to two seasons ago. Engbrothun turned into Embaiçorun in Finisterre, and refers to Ferrovente's main football club, Castelo e Calvente CS.

You'll find for most of these that the original word wasn't translated, but just had its pronunciation 'appropriated' into the more fashionable language, and with some fantasy you can definitely retrace them.

And that's what we're going to do! We're going to retrace a century or two across (socio)linguistic history of the archipelago, to find out what happened to the Arelothuns, Insins, and Jofas of the past... and if we could ever see them in the Top League again. Because that's what this experiment is also about - did these teams survive, and where are they now?

by **Elmyia** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 9:55 am

Police Statement on the continued case against Scuba Dave

The Police chief for the combined Beaucester and Mosfleet force straightened their shirt before sitting down. He pulled his chair up to the table and leaned into the microphone. He coughs slightly. He then decided to draw it out a bit bugger what was I going to say first. I need to stop winging it here.

"In regards to the on-going investigation around David Morrison, we have felt the need to make a statement. Whilst this is not the usual policy of the department, it is felt that we are required to due to the high level of public interest and speculation on the case" I am nailing this so far

"We can confirm that the first part of the investigation in regards to events at Stadio Luca Spaletti, we have partially concluded the investigation. The assailant has been fined for public urination and indecent exposure, whilst the charge on account of assault by bodily fluid has been denied. The investigation concluded that the assailant did not have adequate knowledge of the effect of the wind on the trajectory, velocity and acceleration of his urine that it was deliberately aimed at the group of girl scouts." wait, shit, am I allowed to say that? Maybe 'girls' sounds a bit patronising, the liberal media would love it if I'd been patronising. I won't give them the satisfaction.

"Sorry, lady scouts. Consequently we have ruled that it is unlikely this action was deliberate, and the stated intent of 'pissing up at 'em bloody Ziwanians' was indeed their intent."

"Now. In regards to the allegations surrounding events in Aventi after the 1-0 win over the United Bongo States of America, the force is declining to comment. Investigations are ongoing into the matter and the force would not like to jeopardise the investigation by engaging in speculations." I probably shouldn't say this next bit.

"However, in regards to the current media speculation, I would say that the characterisation of the events in Aventi as a sacking, or pillage, appear to be gross hyper-bowl."

A reporter raises their hand "Sorry chief, hyper-bowl?"

"Yes, exaggeration, bigging it up, hyper-bowl," the chief roles his eyes I thought this lot were meant to be literate.

A junior officer leans in "I think it's pronounced hyperbole sir." the chief's usually blotchy red complexion transition to vermilion.

*cough* "Right, well I'll now take any questions from the press pack."

"Would the chief agree that too much leeway has been given to this hooligan?"

"No. Next question."

"But surely you can see the pattern emerging. Released early from prison and allowed to attend football games, merely fined for repeat offending. Why is Scuba Dave untouchable?"

"Look son. David Morrison was released early for good behaviour, that's in keeping with established legal convention. With the current charges, that he was remanded not in bail is due to his unlikeliness to reoffend at the present time."

"What do you say chief to the accusation that Scuba Dave's scuba crew are now less a group of amiably drunk football fans, but instead a force bent on destruction?"

"I am only here to answer questions on Scu- David Morrison. Other individuals will not be discussed. That they are ostroporous is not in doubt..."

"Do you mean obstreperous?"

"... yes, next question"

"Surely more fines have to follow? In Aventi several men in swimming gear were reportedly seen ransacking..."

"Now, now. I won't have that work said here. Yes there was a mess left and residence were unhappy. We are working with all local authorities to establish the facts as are convenient to us" shit "sorry, I meant as they pertain to the case. Right, no further questions, thank you."

"But chief, is your silence not going to embolden the scuba cre..."

But the chief was already back out through the door, grimacing, and vowing never to try a word he'd only seen written down again.

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:14 am

By Peter Davis

After back-to-back wins saw us enter a no man's land, The Jagaurs of TJUN-ia knew their fate was still in their hands and they couldn't give up. The gap ahead was 5 points, the gap behind was 4 points and everyone surrounding the team knew that while things looked a bit wary in terms of their auto qualification dreams, the pecking order wasn't set in stone at all yet and many hoped that it wouldn't until the very end. Li Xiu Ying knew that in a process as tough as WCQ, things may not go our way...but the best thing that she and her team could do was manage the situation presented in front of them and, I quote, "get shit done". So let's see how much shit got done this time around.

Up first was the warmest trip of the home schedule as Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo in Kepu Manu would warmly welcome Srednjaci to the UO Zone. This was expected to be another good opportunity to try and keep the good times rolling, but we also knew that Bojan Radulović wasn't just going to sit down and let his team die. We expected a fight and initially, that was exactly what we got as a nice goal from Jackson Smith-Scott being responded to by Isidor Matković, but a quick brace from Yomakaji Shimigatsu late in the first 45 would mean we entered the changing rooms 3-1. The 2nd half was pretty simple to understand as both Fernandino and Max van Oosterend would come off the bench to end up on the scoresheet and end the game at 5-1. We looked strong, but the gaps remained.

Then we travelled to face Victoria Maersk and Savojarna and the best way you could describe this contest would be frustrating and that's about it. This game could simply be described as a duel between two teams and 2 GKs (Sputnik Brykilawa and Aleksandra Virulainen) who wanted to beat the opposition no matter what and in the end, there would end up being only 1 gaol between us. That goal would come off a corner, headed home by Sven Ehlers in the 66th, and that single goal would derail our confidence and seal the win for the hosts.

We may have 10 wins to our name, but the gap at the front is now 8 points - all but impossible to catch with 8 games to play. Now, 2nd must be our immediate concern and that must continue when Zebra Stadium in Toropo hosts 6th-placed Elmyia before we head out to Stadion Glendoorn to face 8th-placed Varavel. If we still want to be in this fight, we need to win more games. And while we are still in a No Man's Land, can we somehow cross that gap? At all? GO JAGS!

MD1: @United Bongo States of America (265) W 3-1 (1st)
MD2: @Srednjaci (101) L 0-1 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD3: vs Savojarna (37) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 1-0 (3rd)
MD4: @Elmyia (124) - Tollington Park, Mosfleet W 1-0 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD5: vs Varavel (284) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa W 7-2 (2nd)
MD6: @Nephara (11) - The Farham Arena, Sabrefell L 1-2 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD7: vs Archalit (183) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville W 7-3 (2nd)
MD8: @95X (159) - City Stadium, 95X City W 3-2 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD9: vs Caribbia (222) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 5-1 (2nd)
MD10: @Ziwana (82) - Ziwanicell National Stadium, Birnin-Likulu L 3-5 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD11: vs Baggieland (71) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 2-1 (2nd)
MD12: vs United Bongo States of America (265) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town/Portuaria W 3-0 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD13: vs Srednjaci (101) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 5-1 (2nd)
MD14: @Savojarna (37) L 0-1 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD15: vs Elmyia (124) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat
MD16: @Varavel (284) - Stadion Glendoorn, somewhere in Varavel
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD17: vs Nephara (11) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD18: @Archalit (183) - Archalit Olympic Stadium, Charkara
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD19: vs 95X (159) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico
MD20: @Caribbia (222)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD21: vs Ziwana (82) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD22: @Baggieland (71) - Dartmouth Hill, Hawthorn

by **Mytanija** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:24 am

RESPONDING TO ROCKY FORM CAN TELL YOU MORE ABOUT A TEAM THAN ANYTHING ELSE

Since the halfway point of World Cup qualifying Mytanija have experienced their rockiest form of the campaign. The loss to Poafmersia, a determined team who needed to take points off the Hoops, and the draw away to lower-ranked Magnecia have caused the group leaders to drop into second place to become the hunters rather than the hunted. It is worth noting that the draw against The Karodin Tetrarchy also came just before the halfway point, making for an altogether rougher patch of form which stands in stark contrast to the consistent wins and performances the team were rattling out before that. The question now becomes how Mytanija can respond to this rough patch of form. It isn’t like a club side, where the opportunity to correct the record comes a few days later, it can be months between international breaks and Dzvezdan Kitanchev will need to re-focus his players to ensure that they can stick with the uber-consistent Banijans.

Mentioning hunter and hunted is an interesting analogy. Some managers would prefer to be the hunter, putting the pressure on the other team to perform each week in the knowledge that they have a hungry contender standing at their shoulder, ready to strike should they make any errors. However, the reality is that having points on the board is crucial and given that games happen at the same time – another difference with the club game, where the hunter may play before the hunted and be able to apply pressure that way – means that it is always a reflection of where the teams are at that moment. There are no games in hand, no opportunities to pull back the gap, it is up to you to put the points on the board with wins and hope that the opposition will drop them somewhere. It is a zero-sum game, there can only be one team who win the qualifying group and take the automatic spot at the World Cup.

With that being said, Mytanija do have another head-to-head match with the Banijans and following Kitanchev’s masterstroke in the first meeting between the sides you will imagine that there will be a sense of confidence amongst both the coaching staff and the players that the Hoops can go to Banija and get something if they need to. Similarly to Mytanija they will have to face a raucous home crowd, something which only adds to the difficulty level of playing the #2 ranked national team in the multiverse. You would prefer to have the points before then, holding an advantage heading into that game and only needing to draw (or even being able to lose without consequence!) would be preferable – but they’re the #2 ranked national team for a reason and the two point advantage they hold over Mytanija now will need to be overcome, potentially in a direct encounter.

If Mytanija play the way they have been doing, in the loss to Poafmersia and draw against Magnecia in particular, that might be a bit of a pipedream. The direct, free-flowing, fast starts have given way to more ponderous, lethargic beginnings and this has both been caused by the opposition and seemingly the Mytanar players themselves. There may be a little complacency creeping in – something Kitanchev has been at pains to deny – with some players perhaps believing that goals will come in any match given the form they had been in during the first half of qualification. If it does exist, which Kitanchev denies, then it must be quashed and quashed quickly. On this blog we spoke in enthused tones about the controlled approach Mytanija had employed to keep possession, slow matches and opponents down, prevent counterattacks and win matches. It must not be forgotten that the speedy starts and direct attacks to get early goals were used as the foundation to build that more controlled game upon. There’s a theory in there somewhere, that you can’t truly control a game which is level or something along those lines – perhaps a subject for a future blog post.

It is the responsibility of the manager to ensure that any sense of complacency is rooted out and eliminated. Kitanchev has shown his aptitude for tactical strategy so far but there has been less of a need to reach into a bag of tricks of man-management skills. When you’re winning games that side of things is easier, but when there’s a rough patch you must do different things to ride it out and get back to top form. He will need to get Drazen Skara and whichever configuration of wingers he chooses to employ firing on all cylinders again. The winner against West Barack and East Obama was scored by Denis Ovsyannikov and the early goal against Magnecia by Nurija Papez (something of a rarity!), but the form prior to the halfway point was partially down to the first-choice striker and wingers striking up such a good on-field understanding. That has to be reclaimed at the earliest possible opportunity.

Mytanija’s defensive record has been the subject of praise too, but when you aren’t scoring lots of goals – Mytanija tend to win games by one or two goals and then controlling the game with possession – you must eliminate silly concessions wherever possible. The Magnecia goal falls into that category, with a rare error from Semir Besak allowing Magnecia to equalise and take a point in a game which they would not have had marked down as an enormous opportunity to take points. Besak has been a stalwart for Mytanija and at such an early stage in his career has amassed a large number of caps. He will perhaps go on to be the country’s leading appearance maker should form and his injury record continue along the positive path they have followed thus far in his career. In no way will that error define his time with the national team, but Kitanchev needs to ensure that everybody maintains their concentration in a run-in like this one.

The alternative is running the gauntlet of the playoffs, something many supporters and pundits alike would have believed was Mytanija’s best (only?) chance of qualifying for this World Cup. Seeing Banija drawn into your group causes a little bit of a gulp, they’re a machine in grinding out results to get themselves over the line and into the tournament proper, it is difficult to see where they will trip up ahead of the qualifying games starting. Now that the campaign is well underway it’s easier to see that they aren’t infallible, that Mytanija can stand toe-to-toe with them in a head-to-head fight and that there is a chance to automatically qualify if everybody involved in the national team set-up will just go out and seize it. That will not be easy by any means. And there would be something typically Mytanar about performing best in the big games versus Banija only for the games against beatable sides to be the ones which prevent them from doing so, but the opportunity is there.

All of the top three in Group 12 matched one another during the last international break, which should provide optimism. Nobody is running away with it yet (it’s almost waiting for somebody to seize the opportunity to do so, as mentioned in the previous paragraph), Banija played in a thrilling 3-3 draw against Cap Nord, briefly giving Mytanija the chance to be level on points at the top, before easing past Brusseldorf 3-1. We know all about our own victory over West Barack and East Obama and struggles to put Magnecia away. Poafmersia had a thriller of their own, winning 3-2 away at Ascvalion before only drawing 2-2 with Trolleborg. All three are showing a little inconsistency, but we have to believe it won’t last forever and that one will strike out in front to win the group. Banija have the track record, so Kitanchev and co. will need to instil a desire in the squad to be the protagonists. Set the conversation by doing your job, winning games and applying pressure on both of the other two sides. There’s a group to win if they do.

by **Estorvipa and Estorpiva** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 12:04 pm

One week on from the Estorvipan People’s Republic declaration of war against both the Federation of Estorvipa and the Republic of Estorpiva, it was now probably safe to say that the EPR had not achieved most of the objectives that it had set out for itself upon the recommencement of hostilities between the three factions left over in the aftermath of the Estorian Civil War. The primary aim of the EPR’s declaration of war against both the Federation and the Republic was to take the cities of Feuerstadt and Durdenville in the northern part of the now-former State of Estorpiva; however, even though the Estorvipan People’s Army managed to get there before the Federal Defense Forces did, the arrival of the FDF at a time when the EPA had not prepared their own positions was key in dislodging the Vipans from around Durdenville, and now they had been pushed back thirty kilometers away while the FDF consolidated their hold over the former capital of the State of Estorpiva. Meanwhile, things were going a little bit better for them in Urodorasul as they achieved their other objective of providing aid to the defenders of Urodorasul while the FDF was busy charging towards Feuerstadt. However, what this now meant was that Urodorasul itself had become the next big battleground in the what was now being called the Second Estorian Civil War as the combined forces of the Estorvipan People’s Army, the Blue Skulls, and the few scattered loyalist elements of the Pivan Protection Forces fought over the city against the Federal Defense Forces.

Meanwhile, back in Rybolovlev, capital of the Estorvipan People’s Republic, President Vissarion Zhivkov was being briefed on the whole affair alongside his top generals, the General Staff of the Estorvipan People’s Army. The General Staff had undergone massive changes in the aftermath of the Civil War, the most notable being that none of the current members of the General Staff had been a member of the group before or during the Civil War. Many generals had been removed due to their borderline incompetence with dealing with the northern anarchists during the first stages of the Civil War, while others were forcibly retired due to their links with the so-called “traitor generals,” Petar Antonic and Trayko Nikitin, who both went off-script and decided to form their own faction, the Soviet Republic of Estorvipa. The SRE proved to be short-lived when it found itself right in the center of the crosshairs of the Pridnestrovian expeditionary force sent to “restore order” to Estorvipa when the Civil War tore the entirety of the country apart. Zhivkov had literally wiped the slate clean with regards to his new General Staff, but while his faith in them was not yet proven to be completely misplaced just yet, the fact that they had not delivered the results that he wanted in the first week of the EPR’s war against the FDF must have been telling Zhivkov that his army still needed a lot more work before he could rely on it to become an effective fighting force.

“...as of 2300 hours, the 3rd Tank Army has captured the settlement of Novohavrylivka, which is 30 kilometers away from Durdenville,” the major carrying out the briefing said, using a laser pointer to mark the settlement on the screen in front of the General Staff and President Zhivkov. “Novohavrylivka is right on the road to Durdenville so the 3rd Army is in a good position to take advantage of their situation, but local and FDF resistance remains stiff against us. Over in Urodorasul, the 10th Independent Rifle Division and the 46th Motor Rifle Division have sent troops into the city to assist the local defense and their Blue Skull allies. That being said, the Federal Defense Force’s 74th Infantry Division has taken the village of Satu Nou near the eastern suburbs of the city. Their 11th Mountain Division is also striking towards the Nestorovyets plant in eastern Urodorasul, and elements of the 20th and 44th Infantry Divisions are attacking PPF and Skulls positions in the northeast.”

“What about the FDF corridor between Urodorasul and Durdenville?” Zhivkov asked. “What are our forces doing to cut off enemy forces in Durdenville from the rest of the invasion force?”

“They’ve deployed small reconnaissance forces throughout the frontline to probe for holes in the FDF’s defense,” the major replied. “However, both the 61st and 64th Mechanized Brigades are currently in charge of holding down the line between Urodorasul and Durdenville, and not only are they working on defensive positions along the M-17 highway, they’re also working on protecting their rearguard by taking over eastern Estorpiva.”

“What are the rest of our divisions doing in the meantime then?” Zhivkov asked.

“The 1st Guards Tank Army is currently moving to the M-17 front to assist the 24th Rifle Division against the 61st and 64th Mechanized Brigades,” the major replied. “The rest of our expeditionary force is currently going down the east coast of Estorpiva to meet the invaders at Bentakeb, but it looks like they’re already facing stiff resistance in villages between ten to twenty kilometers away from Bentakeb. Some of them have already begun digging defensive positions in response to these attacks, and the troops look like they’re settling down for a stalemate or a siege.”

“Well, that just won’t do,” Zhivkov said immediately. “Tell the commanders of those units on the Bentakeb front, whoever they are and whichever units they command, that they should continue pushing the FDF back to Bentakeb. Heck, tell them that they must kick the FDF out of Bentakeb immediately! We have the advantage of speed, surprise, and strength. To not capitalize on those advantages is a mistake! Throw a reserve division or two towards Bentakeb as well if that’s what it takes to dislodge the invaders from Bentakeb. We must throw them all back to the sea while we have strength in numbers and before some of the more fainthearted members of our society say that they don’t want to fight in a war once again.”

One of the generals nervously cleared his throat and said, “I think it may already be too late on that particular matter for us, Comrade President.”

“Who was that? Who said that?” Zhivkov snapped.

“I said it, sir,” the general replied, raising his hand. It was Colonel General Hovhannes Iordanov, commanding officer of the Estorvipan People’s Home Defense Army, the internal troops of the Estorvipan People’s Republic. They were responsible for providing security and assistance to the local police forces as required on a national level.

“Ah, General Iordanov,” Zhivkov nodded. “What is it that you said about it being too late to stop some of our people from speaking out against the war once again?”

“President Zhivkov, we are already seeing protests in some of our major cities against our fight against the leftist impostors,” Iordanov said in reply to Zhivkov’s question. “There are protests in St. Paulsburg, Vladimirovka, Igorovtsy, and even right here in Rybolovlev against the war with the FDF. The overall theme of the protests is the same: they are tired of being in a war against their fellow countrymen once again, and they don’t want their sons being thrown into the meat grinder again as well. And it’s not only the people who are tired. I have reports from reliable sources that the troops in Supskij are currently staging a sit-in and are actively disobeying orders from their commanding officers.”

“That’s not just a sit-in, Hovhannes, that’s a bloody mutiny!” one of the other generals cried out. “What are we doing to get these lazy and unpatriotic asses to pick up their rifles and get in their tanks and fight? Surely we must be doing something about that! Slavovic, isn’t that supposed to be your job or what?!”

“Shouldn’t it be your job, Abrakov? These are your men we are talking about here, after all! Supskij falls under the Eastern Military District, yes? Then that means that everyone involved in that mutiny is your problem unless it spreads to other barracks towns, and as far as I know, that hasn’t happened yet!”

“Gentlemen!” Zhivkov called out over the shouting of the other generals in the room as their arguments grew more heated. “Comrades! Will everyone please just calm down!” Everyone else in the briefing room piped down now that the president had told them all to shut up.

“This is exactly what the FDF and their Pridnestrovian overlords want us to do, to rip ourselves apart due to small disagreements such as this,” Zhivkov said once everyone else had gone silent. “This has been their strategy throughout the entirety of this so-called Civil War. The north wanted to do things their own way, and at first we all disagreed with them on that, but once the Pridnestrovians got involved, everyone else thought that they had the right to create their own country out of whatever little chunk or sliver of Estorvipa they managed to take during the chaos! Who here has forgotten about the betrayal of both Petar Antonic and Trayko Nikitin? They are the reasons why you are all here in this room right now! If it hadn’t been for those two betraying the Estorvipan People’s Republic and attempting to establish their own micronation in the midst of the chaos and the fighting, you all would still be colonels or major generals at best! But now you are the generals in charge of Estorvipa’s charge to restore order over everyone else. The Pivans never should have had their own country, and now it’s time for us to bring them back to the fold. Abrakov, Slavovic, you two will have to find a way to deal with your mutinous soldiers. Get them back out into the field or else find new soldiers. As for you, Iordanov, these protesters are now your problem. Deal with them however you wish. I want them gone tomorrow. I want nothing but a united front from the Vipan people with regards to the prosecution of this war. It’s time for us to restore the Estorvipan People’s Republic to its former glory.”

Zhivkov then stood up and said, “That should be enough for us today. I will leave you all to deal with your respective tasks. Victory is paramount for the Estorvipan People’s Republic. We have the momentum, we have the strength, we have the backing of the people. Let’s not disappoint them or anyone else. Dismissed!”

The other generals waited until Zhivkov had left the briefing room before they also stood up and resumed their conversations and arguments, especially the one between Slavovic and Abrakov about who between the two of them should deal with the soldiers’ mutiny in Supskij. But as the rest of the General Staff of the Estorvipan People’s Army filed out of the briefing room, one man remained inside: Hovhannes Iordanov, commander of the People’s Home Defense Army. He remained in his seat while looking at the maps on the screens with their red arrows indicating EPA advances into Pivan territory and explosions marking clashes with the Federal Defense Forces, and then he looked over the map of the current territory of the Estorvipan People’s Republic, with major cities such as Rybolovlev, St. Paulsburg, and Igorovtsy clearly marked out, and a faint smile crossed Iordanov’s lips. The commander of the Estorvipan People’s Home Defense Army then chuckled softly to himself before he stood up and left the briefing room as well.

  ESTORVIPA AND ESTORPIVA 2 - 2 AL-TAMAZGHA     
       PRASUTAGUSIC (17')       JOUMARI (23')
              RODIN (82')       SHUKRIYA (63')

  ESTORVIPA AND ESTORPIVA 0 - 1 ABANHFLEFT    
                                FAHRNI (68')

      PATRIOTLANDIA 1 - 3 ESTORVIPA AND ESTORPIVA  
  FRANCOEUR (90+2')       ROBERTA (10')
                          ROBERTO (59')
                          UDEANU (74')

  ESTORVIPA AND ESTORPIVA 2 - 2 SAPERETIA       
             LEMISH (35')       ANTOON (90+1')
          USHKEVICH (62')       EUGENE (90+7')

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 12:36 pm

After back-to-back wins sent us up to P4, the Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi were in one of the tightest groups of this WCQ cycle and everyone knew it. Se tuntuu helvetiltä maan päällä ja kaikki tiesivät sen. Esko Laaksonen knew that if his team were to survive and make it into the Top 3, we had to fight tooth and nail for every win we can get and with that mantra in mind, let's see how things would go this time.

Pesä would complete their home triple-header as 1-win Bollonich and Joseph Moteudi (we think) came to Kimi Kaupunki at roughly the same time the pre-season NSSCRA hype began to ramp up. This game was a blowout as the crowd were certainly hungry for us to keep up the chase and there was basically nothing that poor Bollonich could do that would've changed the end result of this contest. Kimi Airo would ball out for the first half with a nice brace before completing his hattrick in the 65th, with Mika Noronen scoring the 4th in the 77th. It was as simple as that and now, the gap to the top was 3 points.

Then we travelled to Estadio Olímpico del Oriente in Sechura, Selva to face group leaders Huayramarca under the baking 33°C sun. Blâás Âgínsôgnó's Los Condores were certainly lethal in their attacking playstyle and while we certainly tried to keep up, that intensity combined with the scorching conditions would see our Nordic ambition crumble into dust. We did score twice in this game, thanks to Valtteri Nordström in both halves, but the Condors were just too imperious to stop and goals from Orlando Mina, Bryan Tello (twice) and Ian Mamani would see to our destruction.

4 points behind the Top 3, 6 behind the leaders...this isn't looking good, but it ain't over just yet. Sargossa is heading to Pesä next, a big time game for a lot of reasons, before we travel to face a Lisander team on the cupst of elimination. Our fate is weakened...but not completely dead. Big games coming up and we have to fight for everything we can get. NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

by **Pasarga** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:32 pm

Torgos Tribune ~ The New Dawn

After the sacking of Kurtis Rakeruth, the PFA has spent the better part of the last two months interviewing candidates and applicants for the position of manager of the national team. A handful of Pasargan based managers put their ring into the hat, but none where as likely to get the nod as current interim manager and previous assistant manager Jürgen Eisenhower. A former national team player himself, he seemed an easy option to slot into the team and hope to see a change of fortune, with Eisenhower being a manager who looks to play a possession style of game that slowly dissects the opposition defensive blocks apart with crisp passing and stretching them out wide. It would mean that the playmaking abilities of a few of the more central oriented midfielders might be lost but it could in theory shore up a defense that has been shredded over the past few matches with the ability to retain the ball more and reduce those scoring opportunities in mass for the opposition. However his managerial experience only ranging over the last few years and being part of Rakeruth's staff worked against him as he was eventually turned down.

The favorite then was Altimo Ueboa, a fifty-three year old out of Vilita who won the AOCAF and the World Cup as a player with Vilita, as well as having a history as a club manager as improving the fortunes of the teams he has taken over. Ueboa would likely be able to have gotten a lot more out of the youth than what has been the case with Rakeruth and likely would have placed an emphasis on the domestic clubs to better the training and coaching across the nation with Pasarga's current crop of youngsters not currently looking to have a lot of promising prospects. Hiring Ueboa though would result in a change in formation, as the Vilitan prefers to play a three at the back with wingback system, which would take quite a bit of getting used to for a national football program that has traditionally played with four at the back. Some reservations about the change in formation as well as if Ueboa could actually work well with the domestic clubs eventually had the PFA decide to pass on the Vilitan, despite having been the favorite up until as late as two weeks ago.

That all changed when the PFA got an applicant shortly before they were preparing to close the application process and move into the final interviews and evaluation stage of the process to replace Rakeruth. Zachary Orengo of Banija was this applicant, the current assistant manager of the Banija national team and former assistant at Istria City FC. In his time with the Banija national team, they have reached the Final of the AOCAF twice, with a victory, as well as having reached the Final of the World Cup last edition. Like Ueboa, he brings a potential change to the formation, also preferring a three at the back system, although where Ueboa was looking to pack the midfield, Orengo is looking to create a pressing team that forces the opposition into mistakes with not allowing them any time on the ball to get comfortable. It perhaps is the most radical of changes from any of the three frontrunners for the position, yet it seemed to hit the right chord with the PFA and they decided to give him a three cycle contract to try and right the ship for the Wanderers.

Orengo was in the stands when the Wanderers travelled to Valladares and managed to escape from their regional rivals with a three to two victory, an eighty-second goal by Salai securing the three points for the Pasargans and ensuring that the team stays within touching distance of the playoff spots in a very competitive Group 10. It is quite clear that the Wanderers are not in a state where they are going to be able to compete for the group title and the automatic qualification that comes with it. Instead the team is going to have to make their peace that if they are going to make the Finals and not have back to back cycles of missing them, they are going to have to earn their way through the playoff system. Sitting two points adrift of third place and that playoff spot, thanks to being the worst performing second seed in all of the qualifiers as it currently stands, the work is going to be hard for the team and Orengo will have to work quickly to get the team playing like a top twenty team as they are supposedly supposed to be. The change in formation and tactics might be the spark to finally get the team out of the rut in form and actually competing with the overachieving Estorvipa and Estorpiva and Flavovespia who are currently keeping them out of those places.

by **Sargossa** » Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:48 pm

Continued from here

‘Thank you Alana, that’ll do for now.’

She nodded to the president and leaned over the table to close her laptop. Gathering it and her papers to her chest before turning and heading towards the conference room door.

‘Where are you going?’

She turned back, a quizzical look on her face. ‘You have cabinet.’

‘Yes, I do. And so do you.’ Emparán gestured to her recently vacated chair. ‘Take a seat.’

He waited for her to sit back down before turning his attention back to his assembled ministers.

‘I think it’s clear we’re approaching a watershed moment in the history of our nation. Over several decades of authoritarian rule this nation has gone from the isolationist backwater democracy turned it into, to the wealthy, safe and strong nation it is today. But in the modern world in which we reside our kind of authoritarianism, as effective as it is, is…’ He searched for the right word. ‘Unpalatable. And sadly, in said same modern world, optics are everything. Which is why presenting a façade of democracy to the wider region is vital for keeping our firm footing within it. But, in doing so, we may well be on the way to creating a monster.

‘Such a monster needs a keeper. Someone to keep it from doing anything too dangerous, too damaging. Which is why I’m creating a new ministerial position. A position that will oversee the Grand Congress of the Republic. Someone who can ensure the rules are followed. Someone to break the deadlock in the unlikely event of a tied vote. And someone to ensure our agenda is protected against those who would seek to see us cast into the graveyard of history.’

He stood up, taking an envelope from an inside pocket as he moved around the long table to stand beside Alana. He placed it in front of her.

‘Alana, you’ve been involved in this process from the outset. As much as it would pain me to lose you from my office, I can think of no one better to take up the role. In that letter is your official appointment to the role of Minster of Congress. Do you accept?’

Alana stared at the letter and then back to the president. She’d been taken quite by surprise, but just about managed a nod.

‘Excellent. Welcome aboard Minister Velázquez.’

Emparán returned to his own seat at the head of the table. He lent forward, fingers steepled in front of him.

‘These changes have made me somewhat mindful of my own position. Specifically, the order of succession. And the lack of clarity surrounding it. With Vice President Trucco stepping down to lead his precious Social Democrats, the role is there to be filled. And the occupier of that role will be considered the chosen successor to my position, in that unlikely event that I am unable to perform it. In a way that Juan Manual Trucco was not.’

There was a certain amount of stirring amongst his inner circle, looks were exchanged between political allies and enemies alike. One voice cut through the murmurs.

‘Of course, I am at your service. If you think I can be of some small use.’ Interior Minister Alejandro Ereros interjected.

Emparán forced a small smile onto his face. There were further unmistakable glances shot between his cabinet members. Raised eyebrows, eye rolls.

‘Thank you, Jandro. I will take it under advisement.’

The Interior Minister had been seen as the de facto number two to Emparán for years. But as his power had grown so too had his desire to gain even more. He was also roundly loathed by the military High Command, who had baulked at State Security apparatus being put in the hands of a civilian. Their mood had hardly been improved by a series of high profile corruption cases conducted by the Interior Ministry run State Intelligence Directorate, that had seen militia commanders in the colonies removed from their posts. The increased use of paramilitary forces and even mercenaries, all rumoured to be on the Interior Ministry payroll, only furthered soured their opinion. They feared Ereros was creating his own personal fiefdom down in Santazuela.

Emparán himself had become quietly alarmed at his former advisor’s ambitions. No, he was far too divisive a figure to be considered for the role. Lacking the support of the military establishment was enough on its own to curtail any political ambition. But Ereros also lacked the support of his civilian colleagues too. It simply wouldn’t work.

‘It’s a decision I will not be rushing. Names for consideration may be presented to Ala… to Alana’s replacement. I will also be consulting with the High Command and any others whose advice I value.’

He glanced at his watch.

‘Go, give it some thought. I have a helicopter waiting to take me to Daroca. Minister Rubio and are off to the Estadio Bolero. New Portland Republic are in town. Confident Eduardo? Me neither.’

World Cup 93 - RP Thread

Boot It!: Do We Settle For 2nd?

What Even Is This Group?

Who is online