World Cup 93 - RP Thread

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 5:51 am

IMPRISONING REPUTABLE BROADSHEET SPORTS JOURNALISTM BEHIND A PAYWALL SINCE 22XX, IT'S

JUST STOP HAL VANDALISES PROJECT SPORTS MUSEUM, STEALS TROPHY, RETURNS IT REBUILT
But Experts Suspect Mild Irony?

Centuries ago, a good few decades before football was remotely important, a young Audioslavian national team entered, and won, the first ever Under 21 World Cup. Since rebranded to the Di Bradini Cup, the U21WC was held twice per cycle, back when 'twice per cycle' meant 'once every two years', with the idea that nations shouldn't need to flip an entire squad of 17-20 year-olds between two cycles of, back then, definitely four years.

The tournament was short, the competition not exactly fierce, and in the end the "Slaves", as the Bulls were once called, overcame an opening-day defeat to Creedence Clearwater to defeat the very same team in the final. Although forgotten now, the turn-around in fortunes against that particular opposition was, of course, called the Creedence Clearwater Comeback.

At the very end of the tournament, a trophy was presented. The very same trophy that had been highlighted before the cup began.

Total n Utter Insanity", Under 21 World Cup 1 RP Thread, 2004-03-15 wrote:For the U21 Championship the IFA will not only be providing accommodation, the football stadia and also diplomatic immunity to some players. They have also decided that each trophy should be unique and will be creating them from scratch. The first cup is in the shape of a swan, made from glass with two black pearls for eyes.

A beautiful trophy, one nevertheless referred to as SiLvErWaRe by some very stupid Audioslavians, but it would meet an unfortunate end.

Audioslavia, Under 21 World Cup 1 RP Thread, 2004-03-21 wrote:...the second goal came on the hour, as Herald and Parker played some clever inter-play on the edge of the box, before Parker teed the ball up for Greene to score.

Clearwater replied late on through a strike from the number eight as Audioslavia's defenders tired, but the team held on until the final whistle.

As the whistle blew the coaching staff lept off the bench and ran onto the field, pilling on a group of players who were already celebrating.

It's the first medal the 'slaves have ever won, not counting a losers medal in WC12 and a 'Worst... Team... Ever...' award in WC5.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

Total n Utter Insanity, Under 21 World Cup 1 RP Thread, 2004-03-21 wrote:Congrats Audioslavia!

...and the glass swan is being handed to the ASholes Captain. He's lifted it above his head and is shaking it vigorously. Oh my! He's dropped it, it's shattered into a million pieces. I'm sure that's something we won't forget in a hurry."

If it seems a little harsh that the tournament organizers would refer to the winning team as 'ASholes' ('AS' was the Bigramme for Audioslavia. Yes, back in the early days, we only had the two letters to choose from), you should go and read the various articles and stories coming from Audioslavia in World Cup 11, also held in Total n Utter Insanity, where the visiting Audioslavians took as many liberties as they could with the hosts. Or rather, you should never read the World Cup 11 thread, because it's all horrific. Seriously. At one point Adolf Hitler opens fire on a team bus. Either way, Audioslavia at that time deserved the abuse. We were even more a nation of annoying its than we are now.

Those shattered remains of that glass swan were swept into a bag and poured into a trophy cabinet, and for years that was the sum total of Audioslavia's sporting success. It, like Audioslavia, was an edgy joke. But now, long after said trophy cabinet has been adorned with each of the WCC titles, trophies from two different regions, and the like, the joke has been cleaned up for modern audiences, all at the hands of the mysterious yet frightfully angry Just Stop Hal.

The extremist activism group has been in the news in recent weeks for such stunts as throwing inflateable ones and zeros into a river, overturning electric cars and, most recently, farting in a microchip factory. That this most recent stunt includes stealing, rebuilding and replacing a broken glass trophy is an equally perplexing way of documenting the group's fight against Artificial Intelligence.

Only some experts in computer science has posited the following: The group could not have faithfully recreated the statue from shards of broken glass without the help of some kind of artificial intelligence

*
The statue: Before and After

The group initially denied the claims, but one member has since come forward on social media admitting that, yes, they had used an artificial intelligence to digitally recreate the swan from the shards and a machine to recreate said digital image using the actual shards, but the member stresses that they had to do this to help the group quickly finish their mission and, thus, more quickly get across their message that Artificial Intelligence is not useful at all and, in fact, takes business away from actual humans.

Cathair-based Glass Swan Reconstruction Engineer Duncan Flouths, of Flouth’s 24 Hour Glass Swan Reconstruction Ltd, was unavailable to comment at time of writing.

As you can tell from the images above, the black pearl eyes from the original sculpture have not made their way into its reconstruction, despite being present in the pile. Police units around the capital have asked residents to stay on the look out for a small pair of fragile balls as they may indicate membership of a performatively edgy protest group.

As for the trophy itself, it has taken its old place back in the trophy cabinet at the Project Sports Museum, but many are calling for its immediate destruction, citing the trophy as an eyesore.

“It’s so pretty” said one museum patron, “it’s just so not us?”

*images created by MidJourney AI, unedited

by **Atheara** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 7:29 am

☵ Athearan Sport Ordering News
ASON.com.ahr/football/wc
The website for all your Athearan sporting needs, and many non sport related stories!

Football > World Cup
Guards Hold The Condors, But Concede to the Dragons

MATCHDAY 5 RESULTS
Atheara 1 – 0 Montaña Verde
Zakaria Nourenzi (46')

MATCHDAY 6 RESULTS
Krytenia 1 – 0 Atheara
Angus Jack (90+5')

[] David Green (23')

Well, I'll be honest with everyone reading this right now. It's actually a bit more of a silent day rather than a day filled with drama and excitement. Sure, Atheara had their two matches against Montana Verde and Krytenia, but they're rather boring to describe in all honesty. I could probably fit the two matches within a single paragraph, which is what I'll be doing. But before I head into the two matches, there's been a massive piece of news. Apparently during a league game in the Ngwazi League in Ziwana, Zack Dawnbridge had an injury in the first half between Birnin Select and Lonjezi Sporting Club, which would keep him out of domestic and international matches for quite some time. What's even worse is that apparently the injury he experienced was a groin injury. Both Birnin Select and Atheara will be missing a star player, which means both sides will have to reconsolidate. Especially Atheara considering Dawnbridge won't be doing much travelling with the team and will stay at home until he recovers. However, Kristian Johansson has stated his opinion on the issue. "He is still part of Birnin, he is also still part of Atheara. Qualification is still rather long, so he's staying until the end of it." In my opinion, Johansson is making the right move on this. Anyways, time for match analysis.

Matchday five would see The Blue Guard face off against The Condors at home ground within Schengen Stadium in Schennerwits. Montaña Verde and their fans were met with a stadium, packed to the brim with supporters for both sides. Flags were waved, chants were shouted, songs were sung, flares were lightened up, smoke guns were ignited. The stadium was completely enthusiastic for an extremely tight game ahead. And although the scoreline does not reflect a tight game, the match itself did. Atheara and Montaña Verde would play a really tightly fought match, in which only one goal would separate the two teams. Zakaria Nourenzi would score with a header on the 46th minute from a corner majestically taken by Zeeke Red, who proved vital with his running along with consistent passing play by Jeremy Duncace. In the end, the fans enjoyed an extremely tight game with many nailbiting moments. Mugel Krygorf earns his second clean sheet award with this win as he was the starting goalkeeper in the line up. Matchday six saw The Blue Guard travel to fellow Anaian nation Krytenia on the away day. The match in itself was rather tight, the stadium a bit nervous one could say. Well, one of those reasons being a red card in the 23rd minute earned by David Green after an extremely harsh tackle done onto Harlow Stonewall. The only thing that would separate the two teams was an incredibly late goal by Angus Jack on the 5th minute of second half of stoppage time, thanks to a defensive shortcoming by Edward Zaveritsk.

And that is for Matchday five and six, a win and a loss which puts Atheara behind Krytenia and above Baker Park on goal differential, considering we have only conceded three goals and scored nine. For a team our rank, I'd say we are doing really good as of now, a good form running towards our next matches which are The Owls of Tikariot and The Pigs of Guanacasteca. Now, something I will do this time are my MOTMs, considering many people were dissapointed when I didn't do them for matchday three and four. For matchday three I would say Krisseo Tori, he was given a chance to prove himself and he just slams shut fit into that team. A great pick up and a valuable future asset I would say. For matchday five... Eh, rather debatable. I would actually say Emanuel Coelho however. Other than losing the press in the end of that match, he played extremely solidly and made a lot of key tackles against Turori. Now we move on to the more recent matches. For matchday five it is quite tough to decide. I would say Mugel Krygorf deserves the MOTM however, since he was facing a lot of shots a good half of goalkeepers his age would struggle against. But in that match, his movements were as if he was still in his early 30s, which in my opinion shows how well he has aged. Meanwhile for the most recent match in matchday six, it's hard to argue who played better. Olaxer Faukersson deserves it though for me, he had a great showing despite the fact that Atheara ended up losing. His numbers in the match also helps prove that.

Speaking of numbers, here are the statistics for post matchday six!

TOP GOALSCORER:
Zack Dawnbridge - 4
Terez Lindenhalfesch - 1
Kirov Solmatzka - 1
Azel Nieroth-Albrin - 1
Krisseo Tori - 1
Zakaria Nourenzi - 1

TOP ASSISTER:
Mryzlav Koralsko - 3
Zeeke Red - 2
Zimmerman Brusteric - 1

CLEAN SHEETS:
Mugel Krygorf - 2
Mikel Horzabath Krygorf - 1

And with that out of the way, everyone will be preparing for the next two matchdays. Hope to see you all soon!

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD 1 v. Baker Park (3 - 0 W)
MD 2 v. Strayan Rus (1 - 0 W)
MD 3 v. Inkwellistan (4 - 1 W)
MD 4 v. Turori (0 - 1 L)
MD 5 v. Montaña Verde (1 - 0 W)
MD 6 v. Krytenia (0 - 1 L)
MD 7 v. Tikariot
MD 8 v. República Guanacasteca
MD 9 v. Raspotochje
MD 10 v. Oscioru
MD 11 v. Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison
MD 12 v. Baker Park
MD 13 v. Strayan Rus
MD 14 v. Inkwellistan
MD 15 v. Turori
MD 16 v. Montaña Verde
MD 17 v. Krytenia
MD 18 v. Tikariot
MD 19 v. República Guanacasteca
MD 20 v. Raspotochje
MD 21 v. Oscioru
MD 22 v. Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison

NEWS AROUND THE REPUBLIC
New Aircraft Carrier Project is Officially Underway
Reviewing Each Player of The Blue Guard So Far
Man Reportedly Ate His Car Keys By Accident

by **Krytenia** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 7:42 am

BAKER PARK (CLUELESS)
Based on this song.

We beat Sarzonia on penalties,
We beat the men in purple shirts.
Managed to scare a goal against Kipto-Mare,
Gave Chromatika the hurt.
We created the cure for post-football,
va-Takil is here again,
Sacked Valrauncion in the dressing room
Got BXE, by the way,
But today...

We're playing Baker Park, we've got no clue at all,
We're playing Baker Park, this order is too tall,
If we beat them, they're still better,
'Cause the Bees are far too clever,
Has this snark,
Jumped the shark,
Baker Park.

Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka Parka,
Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka,
Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka Parka,
Bake Bake Bake.

We talked to a Jaffacake the other night,
Sang karaoke in a bar.
We had a piss in Laborious Hawk's pool,
Realised we'd gone too far.
So we questioned the dreams of THE,
Climbed the top of an Errinunderan TREE,
Ti'n gwybod, we even learned Druidan,
It's just so hard to believe,
Then today...

We're playing Baker Park, we've got no clue at all,
We're playing Baker Park, this order is too tall,
If we beat them, they're still better,
'Cause the Bees are far too clever,
Has this snark,
Jumped the shark,
Baker Park.

Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka Parka,
Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka,
Bake Bake, Bake Baker Parka Parka,
Bake Bake Bake.

We're playing Baker Park, we've got no clue at all,
We're playing Baker Park, this order is too tall,
If we beat them, they're still better,
'Cause the Bees are far too clever,
Has this snark,
Jumped the shark,
Baker Park.

Make the pass, to Angus, hope and pray, win today.
Make the pass, to Angus, hope and pray, win today.
Make the pass, to Angus, hope and pray, win today.
Make the pass, to Angus, hope and pray...

We're playing Baker Park, we've got no clue at all,
We're playing Baker Park, this order is too tall,
If we beat them, they're still better,
'Cause the Bees are far too clever,
Has this snark,
Jumped the shark,
Baker Park.

by **Gnejs** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 8:39 am

Weekly joint processing cabinet meeting.

Location: Office of the Prime Minister, Meridian, Port Kejm.

"Very well, that brings us to item thirty-five on today's agenda. The topic is a briefing from The Minister for Foreign Affairs regarding current events. If there are no initial remarks from those present, I give the word to the Minister for Foreign Affairs. No remarks? Good. Grethe, please proceed."

Prime Minister Tangeus Oxwald took his seat while gesturing with his left-hand, prompting the Foreign Minister to stand. She positioned herself at the far end of the table and greeted the joint cabinet with a nod of her head.

"Thank you, Prime Minister. Comrades. To begin with, I bring you a short orientation on current affairs from my Department of Non-Aligned Diplomacy. There is strife on the small island – with an amalgamation of several nations – known as Farfadillis down southron way. Violence is rampart and tensions are high. Several nations have made statements on the situation, condemning acts of war, variously offering their support for the different nations on opposing sides of the conflict, Farolera or Rülândéá and Induja respectively. A great many things are unclear, and we are getting diverging reports on who is indeed the aggressor and who the defender. Per our standard protocol, my ministry has issued a statement from the Union, reaffirming our diplomatic stance of courteous non-alignment towards all the Farf nations. In keeping with our guiding principle of non-interference, our statement also wishes them all well in resolving their internal matters in whatever way they see fit. As per usual, our statement has not been picked up by any of the big continental news agencies, and has produced no known reactions whatsoever.”

The Prime Minister nodded. “Very good. Anything else from Non-Aligned, or can we move on to the Department of Diplomatic Friendships?”

“Yes, one more note from DNAD. A matter familiar to some of us, including you, Prime Minister. The Union has received an invitation to partake in something called CORNCOB down on continental Rushmore. It was initially forwarded to the Ministry for Inland Agriculture – it revolving around corn – and I have been informed that the request was not processed according to standard protocol due to a backlog issue in the case management system. Perhaps you’d like to come in here, Stina, and explain the following developments?”

The Foreign Minister gestured to the Minister for Inland Agriculture, who promptly stood up.

“Yes, Grethe, of course. Prime Minister. Comrades. There were some initial technical issues to begin with, but when the invitation was finally assigned a case manager for assessment, it turned out the request was actually to partake in something known as the Convention Of Rushmori Nations on Climate, Oceans, and Biodiversity, CORNCOB being an acronym. Seeing as this clearly supersedes the responsibilities of MIA, it was – and this was fully according to proper procedure – forwarded to the Ministry of the Environment and the Ministry of Coastal Affairs and Fisheries. Sonja or Lennart, do you want to take over here?”

The Minister for Inland Agriculture gestured towards the ministers for Coastal Affairs and Fisheries and the Environment. They exchanged glances, and the Minister for the Environment stood up.

“Yes, Stina, thank you. Prime Minister. Comrades. Yes, both our ministries received the case transfer, and after thorough assessments from both ministries, it was concluded that the biodiversity aspect of the convention clearly bordered on MIA areas of expertise, whereas the apparent focus on business, technology and innovation practices rather suggested the Ministry for Trade and Commerce. It was therefore decided to appoint a four-way-ministerial task force to start working on a joint assessment, as a basis for a Cabinet Suggestion on the matter. The task force was thorough, and also included representatives from other ministries and a few of the most relevant Directorates and Authorities. A draft for a Cabinet Suggestion – recommending sending a small observatory delegation to the CORNCOB – was subsequently sent to MFA, as is standard, this being an international matter. Grethe?”

The Foreign Minister shuffled her papers, took a swig of water from her bottle and stood up once again.

“Thank you, Sonja. First, I would like to commend the partaking ministries for their thorough groundwork on the Cabinet Suggestion. It is a solid piece of work. Unfortunately, when the DNAD did some supplementary research concerning some practicalities, they discovered that the CORNCOB had already been going on for some time. Quite some time, actually. The MFA liaised with the Office of the Prime Minister, and it was decided that showing up late would reflect poorly on the Union. It was therefore decided to not act on the matter at all.”

The Prime Minister nodded once again. “Yes, unfortunate business. However, I would like to echo Grethe’s commendation of the involved parties here. If such an invitation should ever reach us again, we will be very well situated to act swiftly, having already prepared such a thorough assessment. Can we move on to the Department of Diplomatic Friendships?”

The Minister for Foreign Affairs nodded.

“Yes, sir. Two items from the Department of Diplomatic Friendships today. Firstly, as you are all keenly aware, our Friends in Baggieland have been the target of a wicked campaign of international condemnation by the Security Council. Amongst other alleged crimes, concrete Union citizens and deeds committed against the Union is cited within the proposal text. One must not stand idly by as a Friend is being smeared, says the Customs of Friendship. And the picture being painted that the Union is somehow a cause root for such smear of a receiver of the Rock of Friendship, cannot stand.

As the Minister for Foreign Affairs mentioned the Rock of Friendship, all present raised their left hand, positioned it on the middle of their chest while closing their eyes, and mumbled unintelligibly. The Foreign Minister awaited the moment of reverence to pass, and then continued.

“We have sent out communiques to all corners of the known world – from the distant lands of the Delte River Valley to the postulant Space Lords of The Holy Empire – to convey our profound opposition to this act of ideational aggression. Alas, it seems like the proposal will pass, and a stain will be thrown at a Friend.”

The Prime Minster shook his head. “Sad,” he said, and the Cabinet all nodded, some of them wiping tears from their cheeks. The Minister for Foreign Affairs cleared her throat, and the Prime Minister gestured to her to continue with the briefing.

“Secondly, the DDF bring information about our Friends in Tikariot. As you all know, Western Soharr has seen a massive landslide that has claimed at least 300 lives. Many more are listed as missing, and the town of Wenford has been buried by mud and soil. The Customs of Friendship states that you must help your Friend, especially when they are in such dire circumstances. My ministry have already cleared the dispatchment of expert teams of dogs trained to detect humans, and as we speak, the Ministry of Public Safety and Civic Preparedness are mobilizing more resources. Tina, would you like to elaborate?”

The Foreign Minister looked at the Minister for Public Safety and Civic Preparedness. She nodded.

“Yes, thank you, Grethe. Prime Minister. Comrades. Everything for those who hold the Rock of Friendship."

Again all assembled raised their left hand, positioned it on the middle of their chest while closing their eyes, and mumbled unintelligibly, at the mention of the Rock of Friendship.

“Tents, mobile shelters, clothes, our most elite Search and Rescue Teams, structural engineers, aid from our disaster funds. All the ministries are working together, and we should be able to finish preparations and have the help on the way within the day. We’re also reaching out to The Commonwealth of Quebec and Shingoryeo's Silver Star and Græntfjall’s specialist emergency response team to coordinate international relief efforts with the local authorities.”

The Prime Minister nodded contently.

“Excellent. Thank you, Tina, and thank you, Grethe. Everything for a Friend, indeed. Does that conclude your briefing?

The Minister for Foreign Affairs nodded. And the Prime Minister gestured for her to sit down.

“Well, that brings us to item thirty-six on today's agenda. The topic is the preparations for the fiscal joint cabinet conference next month. The Minister for Finance brings the matter to us, and if there are no initial remarks from those present, I give the word to the Minister for Finance. No remarks? Good. Anna, please proceed."

by **Pemecutan** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 8:54 am

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2

Soma Paing Wuku Merakih, Pawukon 1784

The Second Inter-Nations Meeting is Officially Open

Asakote, Toluiwa - After waiting for quite sometimes, finally the second Inter-Nations Meeting is officially opened this morning. Asakote, the capital of Toluiwa is selected as the host for the second meeting. Six countries from southwest Madya Sea are invited to the meeting. This second meeting is intended to talk about the progress of Mengwi Agreement that they have signed at the end of the first meeting. However, Acastanha as the signatory of Mengwi Agreement and participants of the first meeting is nowhere to be seen. Humour has it that Acastanha decline to talk further about the agreement in acknowledge that their position is farther north than the rest of the members. Red Palace spokesperson stated that Acastanha will work closely in bilateral relationships towards each and every nations of Mengwi Agreement signatories. While they won't be involved further into the multilateral conversation. The country believe that it will not affected much for them.

However, a surprising delegation is invited by Toluiwa as the host. That delegation is from Gili Anakan. Many have speculated that with the presence of Gili Anakan delegation in the meeting, the talk about Gili Anakan's future will be talk further. Gili Anakan is one of the few dependent territory in the area. But on the released agenda, no event is about Gili Anakan.

Toluiwan government is placed under a hard decision. Choosing their neighbor, Cakranegara. Or sided Pemecutan who have increase its investment and trade agreement with Toluiwa.

Gading Yahya
Palace's spokeperson

The meeting itself is schedule to be held for 5 days. This will intersect with the appointment of Prince Dharma Negara as Ratu Hawir Bhuja in Pemecutan. With this fact, there is a possibility that Patih Madya Ngurah Agung Kusumajaya will not attending the appointment ceremony. Several issues that will be delivered are mostly about security, trade and economy.

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 11:56 am

By Peter Davis

After dispatching both Savojarna and Elmyia with 1-0 wins, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia were 2nd in the group and starting to figure out just how difficult things may end up being in the quest to make it back to the WC. Li Xiu Ying has certainly done alright so far on her own while David Seems is on family duty but she knew full well that the double-header coming up would be absolutely critical in determining our future aspirations for the rest of the cycle...so no pressure then, right?

Up first was the most important game in the history of Salam Liljamie Stadium as Al Kalifa hosted our clash with bottom seeds Varavel. This Baptism of Fire team has come from completely nowhere to start this WC 3-1, meaning this game actually turned out to be a Top 3 showdown by the time MD5 arrived. This meant that we were required to take this game absolutely seriously...and that would end up being the main reason the game went the way it did. Us going balls to the wall would mean that we wanted those 3 points no matter what...and our 7 goals that night proved that with such brutal efficiency. Jackson Smith-Scott and Malhrani al-Kalhrani both ended up with hattricks, which was nice, and the 7th would end up going to another superb player in the form of substitute Regina McDuff. Our opponents did manage to beat us twice, both thanks to Morten Hendrix, but that would just be blips on our radar. This was a statement performance from our Jaguars and suddenly, our power certainly felt like it was a real thing that people may actually be afraid of.

And then came the Nephara game. Yep...the Nephara game indeed. Not many teams can go into The Farham Arena in Sabrefell and get a result from the Cormorants, but that is exactly what Li was attempting to do against Igrene Cantor and the immortal Godhead itself in the stands (don't ask, it's fucking wacky). If you wanted this game to be an exhibition in competitive football, then that is exactly what you got as both these teams treated the other as equals and then proceeded to duke it out for 90 minutes like the gladiators they are. The counterattacking football that Nephara is known for certainly stung in the first half, with both Arachne Loeher and Felixe Vetiver getting onto the scoresheet, but a superb strike from Yomakaji Shimigatsu in the 55th stunned Medusa Strand and made things really fucking interesting for the rest of the game. Both teams would have chances to add to the madness but in the end, the scoreline would stand...and that was OK. It perfectly showed where TJUN-ia were in the WCC hierarchy - able to compete with the big boys, but not good enough yet to beat them.

With Nephara 6 points ahead now, our main focus until things change will be to make sure we don't slip away from the Top 3 in this group. Up next is Archalit in Roi Ville before we head out to face one of the WCC icons in the form of 95X. The long grind must continue, for better or for worse. GO JAGS!

MD1: @United Bongo States of America (265) W 3-1 (1st)
MD2: @Srednjaci (101) L 0-1 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD3: vs Savojarna (37) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 1-0 (3rd)
MD4: @Elmyia (124) - Tollington Park, Mosfleet W 1-0 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD5: vs Varavel (284) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa W 7-2 (2nd)
MD6: @Nephara (11) - The Farham Arena, Sabrefell L 1-2 (2nd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD7: vs Archalit (183) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville
MD8: @95X (159) - City Stadium, 95X City
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD9: vs Caribbia (222) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas
MD10: @Ziwana (82) - Ziwanicell National Stadium, Birnin-Likulu
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD11: vs Baggieland (71) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD12: vs United Bongo States of America (265) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town/Portuaria
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD13: vs Srednjaci (101) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu
MD14: @Savojarna (37)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD15: vs Elmyia (124) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat
MD16: @Varavel (284) - Stadion Glendoorn, somewhere in Varavel
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD17: vs Nephara (11) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD18: @Archalit (183) - Archalit Olympic Stadium, Charkara
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD19: vs 95X (159) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico
MD20: @Caribbia (222)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD21: vs Ziwana (82) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD22: @Baggieland (71) - Dartmouth Hill, Hawthorn

by **Eshialand** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 12:27 pm

Coffeeshop Blues
Eshialand 3-3 Boring Paradise
Murphtannia 1-1 Eshialand

Two older men are sitting in Lucy's Diner in downtown Eshialand City, enjoying their morning coffees as they always had. "Are you two gonna want something to eat this morning?" Lucy, the owner, asked them. She always served these two herself because they were her favorite regulars. Their conversations always seemed to be simultaneously casual and completely bizarre at the same time, and there was just something interesting about it that she couldn't pinpoint.

"No, I'm telling you, this is completely-- oh, sorry Lucy, didn't see ya there. Nope, I think we're good with our coffees, right Jack?"
"Aye, I'm good Bobby... have a nice day Lucy!" Jack then tipped Lucy, and she went back behind the counter.

"So Bobby, I'm guessin' ya heard about the soccer team, aye?'
"Lemme guess, not great?"
"Depends on whether ya like draws."
"Oof... didn't they get a new coach though?"
"Yes and no, the coach just rebranded the team's captain into an assistant coach, as I'm gathering, she ain't doin' anything to save the team though..."
"It's just growing pains, she'll figure things out soon. At least they aren't losing."

The two sat in silence for a bit, before Jack broke the silence again. This was the way their conversations would usually go, talking about one thing for a little bit, then losing the thread, then talking about something else for a bit.

"Hey Jack, I saw the funniest thing earlier."
"And that was?"
"Alright, so you know that TV show where the people dress up in funny costumes and dance with actors with two left feet?"
"Tripping Over the Stars?"
"Yeah, that one."
"Okay, I'm with ya."
"There was this one guy on there in some animal costume, dancing with Kelly Manaro..."
"That actress from Allie Locherbie, Northwoods P.I.?"
"Yeah, her. Her dancing is just as shit as her acting, but I digress..."
"I agree with ya on the dancing, but go on."
"Anyway, in last Friday's episode, that team came back and all of a sudden, that animal costume wasn't no costume anymore."
"Wot?"
"Like, he became the animal."
"Some weird surgery shit?"
"That's what I'm thinkin' Jack, but it's anyone's guess."
"That's really weird, hope I don't see any of those walkin' around."
"Hopefully they stay away from this diner, that'd be too strange for me."

Eshialand 3 - (Harran 23', 56'; Carroll 76')
Boring Paradise - 3 (REDACTED 5'; REDACTED 31'; REDACTED 81')

Murphtannia - 1 (REDACTED 29')
Eshialand - 1 (Forsen 62')

by **Naixi** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 1:08 pm

"Really, Hi Yuan? We can't turn it down even a little?" Ohimi was truly at wit's end.

"The second half is going to start in about six and a half minutes! I told you I was going to want to listen to the radio call!"

"We're at work! You can't be professional and just watch the full highlights later today?"

"It's Naixi versus the Independent Athletes from Quebec! Literally everyone is watching it! I'm not going to watch it later! Give me a break!"

Ohimi limply rested her head against the window pane of her unmarked squad car. She and Hi Yuan were parked directly on the ocean boulevard of the Seaport District, with the fiery streaks of a mostly-concealed sunset jutting over the Leng Mountains across the river and the Western Valley district of the city. If they so chose to look out the car's windows, they would have seen that their nearby surroundings were grim. Most of the buildings in the Seaport District's oceanfront were tin-roof sheds, and all kinds of shifty characters were slouching up and down the avenue. The one redeeming sight: the placid ocean, stretching out far away.

They were finally here, meeting one of the hookers from the prostitution ring operating out of the dilapidated, maritime-themed outfitters shop on the other side of the street from the ocean. Ohimi had done all the talking with this girl so far, chatting with her over the phone and reassuring her that the cops weren't showing up to bust the place... they only wanted information about who ran the ring. Hi Yuan, of course, had been adamant that they check to see if any "organized crime types" were known to operate in the area. (He'd never followed up with her about his findings.) So some timing it was that now, on the evening when they were supposed to meet this woman, Hi Yuan was suddenly entirely preoccupied.

"Look, Ohimi, I'm just supposed to wait in the car while you go in and talk to her, right? That was the plan anyway, right? So just let me listen to this game in peace!"

"Why's it so important, anyway?" She turned away from the dusk-afflicted window and back toward Hi Yuan. "Aren't there like 50 games the national team has to play in qualifying anyway?"

"Yeah, but it's against the IAQ, in Chumeichang. It's the first time any team even remotely that big has ever come to play here in Naixi."

"Okay, so what? If they're that big, they'll probably just torch us and it'll be a boring game."

"Well, funny you should mention that." Hi Yuan sounded ever-so-slightly defensive, but he always loved the chance to start a debate. "It has actually been a very one-sided first half. They got those two goals about halfway through, and they've been overrunning us in the midfield. But I'm not giving up on my Blues. This ref is crazy! Have you been listening to the call? He's booked our entire back line and a bunch of Quebecois players too! Anything could happen!"

"Sounds like wishful thinking!"

"Sounds like you-"

He had to pause as he began one of his sneezing fits. One, two, three, four, and... there it was... five. Ohimi waited for the unavoidable refrain.

"Thought I'd never get that stuff out. Sounds like you are a fair-weather fan!"

"I'M NOT A FAN! I'M NOT A FAN AT ALL! AT NO POINT HAVE I EVER SAID I WAS A FAN! I'M AT WORK!" Ohimi screamed at him. She flung the car door open and stomped out onto the street. The sound of the sports talk radio Hi Yuan had cranked up to max volume echoed out into the desolate urban landscape of the Seaport District.

"You go meet her, and I'll be here listening to the game! We'll both be happy!" he yelled out to her, seemingly thinking they'd reached some kind of happy compromise. Her response was simply to slam the car door in his face.

"Unbelievable," she breathed hotly to herself. "I'm reporting him to the sergeant for this."

The sound of the radio muffled, she could take everything in. Under the pink and purple sky, a lonely street light lit the sidewalk in front of the outfitters' shop. A half-broken neon side that read "OPEN" was hanging lifelessly in the only front window. A threatening-looking man in a puffy black coat watched her from a shadowy patch of sidewalk half a block down. Ohimi instinctively checked that her sidearm was still with her. "Stay close," she whispered to it as she touched the grip to reassure herself.

She walked up to the shop. Supposedly, this was a time of day when the woman she was meeting, who went by Zhi Chao, worked at the outfitters alone. This was good, as Zhi Chao was worried that the other girls in the ring couldn't be trusted to stay quiet. Ohimi had promised her they would make this time of day work.

She opened the door. Harsh, fluorescent lighting cast a whitish blue glow over everything she could see, as though a dying blue sun was nestled into the rusty-pipe-laden ceiling tile. The shelves, all made of cheap metal, were mostly empty. Where they weren't, piles of hastily-folded sailors' jackets and pairs of "restored" work boots were haphazardly strewn along the walls. A faint sound could be heard near the back of the store... a television, perhaps?

"Hello?" Ohimi called out into the fluorescent dungeon.

"Hello," answered a woman's voice deeply. A figure poked her head out of a black door (no, was it blue?) near the rear. "You're Detective Ohimi?"

"Yes." Ohimi had her badge ready immediately, flashing it open and showing her hard-won credentials.

"You're a Roki."

"Yes."

"I wondered, what with the name. Just had to see you in person to be sure."

"Sure."

"One of other girls who... well... one of the girls who works here is also a Roki."

"No kidding?"

"Yeah," said Zhi Chao, looking down at the dirty white floor. "Me and her don't really get along, but, you know."

"Sure. I understand."

"Do the other police give you lots of trouble for it?" Zhi Chao looked back up at Ohimi. "For being a Roki, I mean?"

Ohimi had to take a moment. How did she want to answer this? Was it the wrong approach to say "yes?"

"Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes they do give me trouble for it. Fuck 'em, though. I'm trying to make things right. I'm trying to be a good cop."

Zhi Chao's face broke into a sad smile. "Well, that's the vibe you give off."

"I'm glad. And, like I told you over the phone, you're safe. I'm not after you on some small-time charge. I'm no beat cop. I'm looking at the bigger picture."

"Could we..." Zhi Chao was picking up what Ohimi was putting down, but seemed uncomfortable about it. "Could we come back here to talk? There are, just... people... that... you know..."

"Let's go back there," Ohimi said kindly, "let's go back there. Wherever you feel safe. I just want you to feel safe, Zhi Chao."

She followed Zhi Chao, passing a rack full of smutty men's magazines and a bin full of possibly-washed-but-definitely-not-folded laundry. Once she stepped through the black/blue door, Ohimi saw what was making that television sound. It was, in fact, a television, resting upon a cardboard box, across from a horrid pale blue couch. What was noticeable was not the couch, in fact, but the fact that two children were sitting on it.

"These are my kids," Zhi Chao said to Ohimi, with a faint but unmistakable warmth in her voice. "This is Shu Yen," she said, pointing at a boy who looked maybe nine or ten, and this is Ming Feng," she said as Ohimi glanced at the four or five year old boy next to Shu Yen. "Sorry, I uh... I gotta bring them to work with me."

Ohimi smiled at the kids, trying to conceal her pity for the little family. She knew her guilt at having left poverty like theirs behind did them no good. She was at work, and had promised Zhi Chao she'd be a professional. "Hi guys! What's on TV?"

"Naixi and the IAQ," the older boy answered. "World Cup qualifying."

"No kidding! My partner and I were just listening to the game earlier! Last I'd heard, it was half time. What's new?"

"There was a red card!" Shu Yen replied enthusiastically. "Pierre-Karl Cizeron got a red card! He got a yellow in the first half, and-"

Ming Feng, his younger brother interrupted. "He talked to the crazy referee and the crazy referee got mad at him!"

"Yeah, I know, shut up, I was gonna say that!" Shu Yen said grumpily.

"Shu Yen, we don't say 'shut up,'" Zhi Chao said administratively before poking her head back out into the main shop floor.

"Well, yeah, but I was gonna talk about how Cizeron was upset about a call, and he had already did a pretty mean tackle in the first half, and he was talking to the ref at the start of the... the second half or whatever, and the ref just 'bam!' He just snapped at him and showed him another yellow card. And two yellows always means a red! Yeah, he snapped at him! Just like how Po Fu snaps at you sometimes, Mom."

Ohimi had a brief moment where she felt annoyed, and couldn't quiet pinpoint why. Ah, yes, she remembered, Hi Yuan was probably in the squad car as we speak, rehearsing his "I told you there would be a red card, Ohimi" speech. Disgusted, she tried to mentally move on.

"So do we think the Blues will win?" Ohimi asked.

"Well," Shu Yen replied thoughtfully, "maybe. Gan Liang brought on Ma Huan Yep to try and overload the midfield cuz he's an inverted wingback, but I don't know... the IAQ are pretty good."

That went slightly over Ohimi's head. She much preferred little Ming Feng's reply: "They're playing way better now! There's gonna be a comeback!"

"I hope so!" Ohimi said with a big grin.

"Ohimi?" Zhi Chao interrupted, and Ohimi immediately detected fear in her voice. "There's a... a man."

"Ohimi?" another voice called, also with fear in it. At least it was recognizable; clearly Hi Yuan had left the car and walked in.

"What's going on?" she demanded as she walked back out onto the floor. There was Hi Yuan, standing there, gun drawn. "I thought you were listening to the game," she said. "You were right, there was a red ca-"

"Something's wrong. I was in the car, but then I saw this van coming about three blocks back and... I just had a bad feeling about it. So I ran in as fast as I could. And now... now look," he said, pointing back out into the street at their squad car.

"Fuck," Ohimi whispered. "Hi Yuan, her kids are here. Her fucking kids are here. Get the kids out," Ohimi whispered quietly but sternly to Zhi Chao, who was at her side. "Get the kids out right now. Is there a back door?"

"Look, they're looking in the windows of the squad car," Hi Yuan interrupted in a panicked whisper.

"There's a back door," Zhi Chao answered, terrified. "But I don't know my way around the Seaport District! I don't live here! I only work here!"

"Just head out the back door and take a right, that'll send you southeast toward the Port Authority. We have officers there. Stay on the side streets. Go, right now!!"

Zhi Chao scuttled away, chatting with the kids, trying to remain calm. Hi Yuan and Ohimi, meanwhile, crept forward towards the lonely black front window of the outfitters shop. It was tough to see anything, as the sunset had dimmed, but she could still see with horror that Hi Yuan was right. A white sprinter van had pulled up behind the unmarked squad car, and now about four suit-wearing men with balaclavas were peering inside the car with flashlights, guns drawn.

"Fuck," Ohimi whispered.

"Detectives?" they heard a panicked cry from the back of the store. "The door is jammed, I can't get it open!"

"Go help," Hi Yuan said emotionlessly. "I'll watch the front."

Ohimi didn't take a moment to argue. She crawled on hands and knees back to the black door, and through it, past the football-showing television, she saw Zhi Chao and her sons fighting with an ugly wooden door. She dashed across the back room, commanding them to get clear of it.

"Move. Move! I'll take it out." And she did, lining up a tremendous kick. The wedged doorknob blasted off and the door swung open. "Go, run! Get out of here!" Zhi Chao did as she was told, scurrying off into the night with her now-crying boys.

Ohimi drew her pistol. She knew what was coming next as she crouched down in the door frame of the black door to the back room. She peeked her head around the corner to see where Hi Yuan was. She caught one glimpse of him, peeking out the front window...

A hail of gunfire began out in the street. Glass and metal shattered everywhere in the shop and bullets flew past Ohimi's head. She covered it, but she knew that with the ricocheting shots scattering around the shop, she and her partner were defenseless. "Hi Yuan!" she cried out. "Hi Yuan!" There was no reply. She poked her head back out the frame of the back room door.

Hi Yuan was there, crawling slowly towards her, along one of the bright-blue-lit aisles. A trail of blood was following him. "Hi Yuan!" she screamed again.

She watched the next few seconds in slow motion. A man in a black suit, with a black tie, wearing a ski mask, suddenly appeared in the front window of the store. Hi Yuan, as though he had eyes in the back of his head, flipped onto his back as the man started to train his weapon at him. BANG, went the report of Hi Yuan's sidearm. BANG. Glass shards flew in slow motion from the neon open sign as the bullets passed through it. Blood spurted from the man's chest, and then forehead, and he fell back into the blackness of the street.

"Ohimi!!! Get those kids out!!!"

"They're gone, Hi Yuan, they're gone! Hi Yuan!!!"

Another man, dressed exactly the same, had appeared out of nowhere at the window. This one was too fast for Hi Yuan. The shot rang out.

"NOOO!!" Ohimi cried.

And the slow motion feeling began again, this time so slowly that the fluorescent lights were flickering on and off. She flung her upper body down onto the floor in front of the black door, her pistol trained on the gunman. He saw the movement she created, but she was too fast, and the bullets fizzed over her, blasting apart a patch of drywall. Ohimi returned fire, hitting the masked man in the cheek and eye. His limp body collapsed out of view.

Ohimi dashed ahead past Hi Yuan's motionless body. Something told her to step to her left as she approached the front door... she did and then realized why, as a man with a shotgun kicked the door down and leveled the barrel into the outfitters' shop. She raised a right fist and aimed to hit him in the throat before he saw her there. BANG, went the shotgun, and blood splattered everywhere. But it was only Hi Yuan's body the gunman had managed to target, and now Ohimi's fist connected with the soft flesh of his neck.

"UHCKUGH," he loudly choked. Next she swung her foot through his knee. Falling in agony toward the floor, the shotgun rang out again, but it only caused a hail of pulverized concrete to rain down on their heads. His slowly descending body, injured by blows and trapped by gravity, was defenseless as she swung her gun down hard on his head. The man hit the hard floor with a thud, and the shotgun clattered harmlessly away. BANG BANG BANG, Ohimi heard as she felt her fingers pull the trigger multiple times. She sluggishly watched as the man's brains splashed onto the floor.

The door to the street was open. Without thinking, she barrel-rolled out into the evening air. A blast rang out. Upside down, she saw white-yellow flints of light come off the pavement as the shot missed her. Rolling to her left in one fluid motion, she caught the shin of someone with the toe of her steel-capped boot. As her opponent grimaced and reflexively leaned down, she was already standing up, propelling her weight up through another shotgun-holding pair of arms. The gun aimed harmlessly into the sky, it rang out again, but already she had it shaken loose of her foe's grasp and it was on its own, soaring harmlessly through the dark purple sky.

She grabbed an arm near its shoulder joint and swung it forward, hard. A voice shrieked as the unbalanced figure swayed forward. Still gripping the arm with her left hand, she let the man's own weight do the rest. Bones cracked and the shrieking continued as the man's body slammed into the pavement, his arm held out behind him at a gruesomely unnatural ankle. Without hesitation, Ohimi raised her pistol to his humerus bone with her right hand and pulled the trigger.

"AAIHHHH!" he screamed across the now-silent street.

"Tell me who you work for," Ohimi said coldly.

"Ahhh, God, my arm! My arm, it hurts! It hurts so much!! Please, God, please!!!"

"Tell me who you work for," she said again, ice in her veins.

"I'm in pain!! Please!!! I'm in so much pain!!!"

"Tell me who you work for. Last chance."

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!"

In a flash, her gun was at his head.

BANG.

Matchday 5

Geektopia 0 ⇨ Lertora, Livengood, Ogrodowski, Sistek, Adsginsier (Abdill), Pitter, Matkowski (Nankervis), Rebimbas (Ponti), Zalie 'amquk, Lnepzsloal, Abdill
Naixi 1 ⇨ Cai, Pao, Geng (Tan), Dong, Tian, Fen (Shao), Dai, Ti (Yuen), Yuan ⚽x1, J.T. Jin, Hsieh

12' Yellow Card ⇨ Pitter (GKT)
31' Goal ⇨ Yuan (NIX)
32' Yellow Card ⇨ Ogrodowski (GKT)
59' Substitution ⇨ Matkowski OFF Nankervis ON (GKT)
60' Yellow Card ⇨ Pao (NIX)
65' Substitution ⇨ Geng OFF Tan ON (NIX)
66' Yellow Card ⇨ Tan (NIX)
67' Substitution ⇨ Ti OFF Yuen ON (NIX)
77' Yellow Card ⇨ Lertora (GKT)
86' Yellow Card ⇨ Fen (NIX)
89' Substitution ⇨ Rebimbas OFF Ponti ON (GKT)
92' Substitution ⇨ Fen OFF Shao ON (NIX)
93' Substitution ⇨ Adsginsier OFF Abdill ON (GKT)

Matchday 6

Naixi 1 ⇨ Cai, Pao, Geng, Dong (Tsung), Tian (Yep), Fen, Dai, Ti ⚽x1, Yuan, J.T. Jin, Hsieh (Ye)
IAQ 2 ⇨ Middleton, Miller, Kim, Cizeron, Ukaleq, Dyxkeson ⚽x1 (Yim), Wawanolett (St-Onge), Babin (Bouck), Woodcarver, Korniloff-Kouyate ⚽x1, Kweon

10' Yellow Card ⇨ Woodcarver (IAQ)
13' Yellow Card ⇨ Geng (NIX)
16' Yellow Card ⇨ Cizeron (IAQ)
21' Goal ⇨ Korniloff-Kouyate (IAQ)
23' Goal ⇨ Dyxkeson (IAQ)
34' Yellow Card ⇨ Tian (NIX)
41' Yellow Card ⇨ Dong (NIX)
42' Yellow Card ⇨ Pao (NIX)
45' Yellow Card ⇨ Kweon (IAQ)
47' Second Yellow Card ⇨ Cizeron (IAQ)
50' Substitution ⇨ Wawanolett OFF St-Onge ON (IAQ)
59' Substitution ⇨ Tian OFF Yep ON (NIX)
59' Substitution ⇨ Dong OFF Tsung ON (NIX)
71' Goal ⇨ Ti (NIX)
82' Substitution ⇨ Dyxkeson OFF Yim ON (IAQ)
87' Substitution ⇨ Hsieh OFF Ye ON (NIX)
90' Yellow Card ⇨ Yep (NIX)
91' Yellow Card ⇨ Ukaleq (IAQ)
95' Substitution ⇨ Babin OFF Bouck ON (IAQ)

by **Nyowani Kitara** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 1:34 pm

OOC Note: This newsletter has a slight anti-socialist bent, but they are fairly strict about the whole 'sticking to sports' thing

Nyowani Kitara Football Weekly
The voice for the working people of Nyowani Kitara

Nyowani Kitara earn huge away win against Drawkland to go back to the top of their World Cup Qualifying Group

Traveling Kitaran fans celebrating after the team's third goal in Drawkland

DRAWK CITY, DRAWKLAND- While the comeback draw against Saterun was technically a decent result considering how the game started, it still left a sour taste in the mouths of many of the Kitaran players. "Absolutely that's frustrating- that's a game that we should have won." Said Josef Sparv. The Kitarans had a rotated squad, as Liang Wei ensured that he got many different players playing time, and rested up his primary XI ahead of a brutal away trip to Drawkland. Unfortunately for the Kitarans, Saterun was more than ready for them. Thiago Esparza had scored the game's opening goal, in just the 13th minute. While Negasu equalized, just 10 minutes later, it did not stay like that.

Saterun would score twice more in the first half, to take a 3-1 lead. Timothy Shannon headed home a corner kick in the 35th minute to retake the lead for the visitors, while Mitzinho scored on a brilliant counter-attack in the 42nd minute to take a 3-1 lead. We didn't exactly throw on a huge spate of regular starters to get the win- but obviously, substitutions were necessary at this point. Owino Odede came into the game at halftime, for Negasu(the goalscorer), and at home, we really tried to push for the draw. Josef Sparv scored in the 61st minute to make it 3-2, and then Odede equalized in the 79th minute to make the game 3-3. Could we find a winner in the final 10 minutes?

We absolutely had an opportunity to do so. Mhara Vera was brought down in the box by Saterun defender in the 85th minute- a clear penalty. What a chance for a huge comeback win, and a momentum-building three points, right? But Angonga, our regular penalty taker, was not in the game. Who's the backup penalty taker? So who took the penalty? None other than Owino Odede. And while he had scored just a few minutes before, the veteran taker was not capable of getting the job done. A poorly taken penalty was saved by Saterun keeper Rahul Markovic, and that was all she wrote. 8 minutes later, the final whistle was blown- the spoils were split between the two sides, although the missed penalty had this Nyowani Kitara side smarting for more.

"Absolutely, I think we should have earned three points today." Liang Wei told reporters. "We played well enough to do so. However, this is how the sport goes. WE had the opportunity to earn those three points, but we could not get it done. How can we say we were hard done by the result?" He continued. "Obvously, everyone will focus on the missed penalty. But the defense was disastrous in the first half. We allowed Saterun to venture forward far too often, and with all those opportunities they created, I'm not surprised they scored a trio of goals. Excellent finishing, yes- but we've got to do better on that front, especially at home. It's time to learn what we can from this, before we travel to Drawk City."

The trip to Drawkland was a fascinating one. In the live table, our home draw, combined with Drawkland's 2-0 home win on MD5, put the Elite Eleven at the top of the table in our group. They had 13 points after 5 contests, while we sat in second with 11. "It's still far too early to worry about the table- there are far too many games remainining." Liang Wei told reporters. "There are teams in first right now who will finish in the bottom half of the their groups, and teams in the bottom few spots of their qualification groups right now who will win them outright. So we're just focusing on performances. It's obviously a top of the table clash- but things like that are better talked about after about like 14 or so matchdays, when tables really start taking shape."

Despite his words, the anticipation for this matchup was high. The Elite Eleven sitting in first, the Kitarans sitting in second. Sitting in one of Drawkland's massive stadia, at the heart of their largest city. "It's a stadium worthy of such a great matchup." Said the team's captain, Armani Okombo. The building is packed to the absolute brim, with Nyowani Kitara not even being able to sell out their allocation of away tickets. But the away fans who wanted to come came in good numbers, and they packed in, looking to cheer on the Elite Eleven.

Unlike a few days ago, when this team got rocked in the first half, Nyowani Kitara actually started the game well. Arvid Handsdotter probably had the first real opportunity for either side, in the 11th minute, when a curling first time shot(off of a backheel pass from Angonga) hit the post, and bounced out for a goal kick. Despite being the away team, and the crowd roaring against them, this Nyowani Kitara was trying to be aggressive to silence them, and assert themselves, even in these early stages, as the best team in their World Cup Qualification group.

It was the Elite Eleven, however, who would score the first goal of the match. They are, of course, huge- with great team chemistry. Jaxon Madison sent in a great cross to Ross Hunter, who headed home perfectly in the 32nd minute. This brought the stadium to life- in the live table, Drawkland were sitting there, with 16 points, staking a dominant(yet early) position atop their World Cup Qualifying group. After that, they tried to rally to score another, to really put our team in a whole. But some excellent defending in the back, especially from our captain, Armani Okombo, ensured that we'd only go into halftime down 1-0.

Was an upset brewing in Drawk City? Liang Wei wanted to turn things around- and tried to do just that. Owino Odede came out of the game for Kuma Negasu, the 18 year old prodigy at striker. It's been the Angonga/Odede duo up top for 12 years. Yet, for the first time probably ever? In a key moment, the manager did not turn towards that historic duo- but turned away from them. Would this be a changing of the guard kind of moment? Negasu, at 18 years old, had a ton of energy to burn, especially playing just a half.

As the team started to press more, he was at the front of the pressure, since an aging Angonga was not going to be much help in the press anymore. The press was working, as the Elite Eleven struggled to move the ball up the pitch. The 3-3-4 formation is great for attacking, but not so much for trying to hunker down. Kitaran pressure forced a lot of long balls for the opponents, and despite their significant size advantage, those balls were hopeless. Way over head, usually ending up with a Kitaran hitting a back pass to the keeper.

The pressure was coming- they were getting steals in the midfield, and quickly turning defense into offense. It would be Handsdotter who would be at the center of Nyowani Kitara's first goal. A through ball to Odede Angonga saw him in a mini 3 on 3. With the opposite foot, he crossed the ball towards Olaf Svante, who beat his man on an inside move. The North Sabrefell winger had a diving header, and hit the target, with Drawkland goalkeeper Septimus Xander not having a chance to get to the ball there. Suddenly, the game was 1-1, and the visitors had all the momentum.

It would not be long before we made the score 2-1, and took our first goal of the contest. The Busukuma Force midfielder, Kamzuni Chinwemwe, was able to hit a cross towards Odede Angonga, who looked like he had a step on his defender. He did- but the keeper was there to meet the ball, and punch it out. But Xander's punch was poor, landing at the feet of Svante, who was about 8 yards from goal. With quick thinking, he passed the ball towards the middle, and Handsdotter blasted the ball into the roof of the net. In just 8 minutes, the game had been turned on its head- our 1-0 deficit turned into a 2-1 lead.

And yet, we were not done. We wanted to really bury this one, and we would do so on the counter-attack. The Elite Eleven continued to push forward, but a Handsdotter interception of the ball started a counter-attack for the Kitarans. It was a four on 2, with their players too far forward to possibly get back in time. The 4 on 2, after some excellent passing, would end up with Wang Jiahui having a one on one with the Drawkland goalkeeper, Xander, and just lifting the ball calmly over his head to take a 3-1 lead. Wang Jiahui ran straight to his manager for the celebration, as the Kitarans danced the night away. That was the final score, as the game ended 3-1 with a victory for the visitors.

While the manager asked for perspective from everybody around him, the players were pumped. "A road win against a Pot 2 team, in World Cup Qualifying? I'm ecstatic." Said Wang Jiahui, who scored on the day. "That's the exact type of game we're capable of playing- scoring a whole bunch of goals against anybody, but yet, with some supreme mental toughness. We're back where we belong- at the top of the table. We've got two home games coming up, as well, to help improve our record."

That is correct. The next two games will feature a pair of tough home contests, against teams who are in this to win this. The first will be against Srubnaya Culture, who sit just three points behind NYK right now in the table, in fourth place. And The Licentian Isles will come next, who are just four points behind us in the table. The slog goes on. But with the back-to-back home games, it will be a great opportunity to correct our home form. While we're 3-0-0 away from home so far, we're just 1-2-0 at home- with draws against Juvencus and Saterun. Protecting home field is essential- and if we want to qualify for the World Cup, we've got to do that. The away struggles will come eventually- they always do. So let's get things fixed at home.

by **Saperetia** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 1:48 pm

Draw Against Group Leader
Saperetia 0-0 Flavovespia

With only one win and one draw to their name, the team has to improve their form to even stand a chance to qualify for the world cup itself. The team itself isn't doing too bad, 6th in the standings, well above expectations. Though, the next two games are against the top 2 of the group so a drop in the standings is most likely. And so today, the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the FLV 4-3-3:

Saperetia: GK Yakim (C) DEF Ipatiy, Pascal, Diyan, Achille, MID Oerwa, Knobes, Nikolaus, ATK Gordie, Antoon, Evhen

Flavovespia: GK Muhammad DEF Lyons (C), Cookson, Lansdell, Dance MID Player, Totten, Edwards ATK Cooper, Birmingham, Bagshaw

The game began in an unsurprising fashion: Saperetia on the defense and Flavovespia on the attack. Despite Flavovespia coming up awith a great number of great chances, none of them managed to find the back of the net. Only notable event in the first half was a foul by Diyan on Cooper for which the former saw a yellow card. In the second half, Saperetia was a bit more brave in it's attacks but once again, no chances from Saperetia nor from Flavovespia were converted into goals, and so at the final whistle the score stood at 0-0.

A draw was not something many people expected for the Crimsonites to get against the group leaders but many people left the National Stadium satisfied with the result. "The final minutes of the match were nail-biting as we didn't want to lose so late. I would have felt heartbroken!" one fan told us. "I came to see the team and experienced a rollercoaster of emotions!" another said. Though, many do not see such a bright result for next game, against the nr. 1 ranked team in the world, Valanora. Many do hope that a good fight can be put up though.

Last week, we ran a competition where the first person to solve the equation (2x^2 + 3x - 1) / (x - 1) = (x + 2)^2 and sent it in to our adress would win 100 Sapers, and we congratulate Hai Alma, 16, for winning the competition! You will be contacted shortly. Answer is below.

Unsurprising Loss
Valanora 4-1 Saperetia

Despite the small upset in the last game, nobody had hope for this one. Saperetia taking on Valanora, the nr. 1 ranked country in the world. Despite this, some fans did travel out to the game to support the team away. And while they watched, the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the VAL... something...

Saperetia: GK Yakim (C) DEF Ipatiy, Celso, Diyan, Achille MID Lacy, Knobes, Vilfredo ATK Gordie, Antoon, Evhen

Valanora: (OOC: I have sent a TG to ask bc I can't figure out the lineup)

With Valanora being the more attacking, more experienced and better team, it came no surprise that the Vanorians came straight charging at the defense. It took not too long before the first goal fell for Valanora in the 13th minute, a header from a cross from the left side of the field. Despite the best efforts of the Crimsonites to stop the onslaught, a second goal fell in the 26th minute from a pass that put the striker in a 1v1 situation, bringing the scoreline up to 2-0. And despite being 2-0 up against an opponent who basically had lost all chance of winning at this point, the Saperetian defense was kept on being pounded on by the strikeforce, which allowed a third goal to be scored from a right-side corner in the 39th minute. And so, the first half ended with the scoreline of 3-0 for the home team. Thankfully for the Saperetian defense, the Vanorians decided to lay back in the 2nd half. This allowed the Sapertian side to try and get a singular goal but the defense was too strong. This basically led to a stalemate between the two sides until a counterattack in the 78th minute saw the scoreline go up to 4-0. The Saperetian side did manage to grab one goal from their only corner in the 86th minute, where a cross by Lacy saw Evhen head it in. So, the scoreline was settled at 4-1.

Of course, this loss was expected. Many fans seem to already have forgotten this game and are looking forward to the home game against the unranked Lashnakia, which many have booked tickets for in hopes of seeing their team win. Mouthenio has commented that "People should not be too cocky, because anything can happen. This is football after all."

by **Sargossa** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 2:10 pm

The relationship between the Sargossan public and its national football team could probably be best described as ‘rocky’. On their best day the crowds can turn a fixture played in the Greater Republic into a raucous and intimidating fortress. On their worst, it’s the home team who feel the intimidation from the poisonous vibe that seems to permeate the very air. Geography plays it part too. In the capital, the Soluca crowds have long since gained a reputation for being fickle and moody. They are liable to turn on their team in the blink of an eye before roaring them on again when the tide turns back in their favour. Whereas fans in the likes of San Marquez or Camíri (the most recent addition to the international venue lineup) are much more likely to get behind their heroes come what may. But even their patience has been stretched thin in recent years.

The last World Cup campaign saw attendance figures drop across the board, with the biggest stadia struggling to make it to half their capacities in some cases. Meanwhile, out on the pitch, the Corsairs concluded the qualification campaign in a risible sixth place and followed that up by finishing bottom of their Cup of Harmony group. It may have been that general sense of antipathy that kept Slavko Jelic, the team’s Mytanar head coach, in a job. Currently the decision to not pull the trigger is looking a good one. For the Copa Rushmori, staged in his homeland, has seemingly done Jelic and his charges the power of good. Only a semi-final penalty shootout defeat to eventual winners Tikariot denied Sargossa a place in the final. And an impressive win over perennial World Cup favourites Nephara in the playoff ensured the Corsairs took home the bronze medal.

Suddenly there were glimpses of some enthusiasm among the Sargossan people for their national team again. Although three weeks of good work wasn’t going to immediately overwrite the previous few years of underachievement and disappointment. The Copa had been good but the first World Cup qualification outing would see Sargossa travel to Jhanna, one of the truly historic international football hotbeds. The greatest teams the sportiverse have ever seen have tasted defeat in that city. So when Lucas Recoba bagged the only goal of the match shortly into the second half to secure a big three points the feelgood factor was remerging. Fortunately, the home campaign started in San Marquez, where a encouragingly big crowd kept that factor going in witnessing a fifth successive win over Pyazhnaya. It was the nation’s ninth win in ten competitive matches. It was to be ten from eleven too, after a narrow win away to New Portland Republic, before the road show headed back home.

Nearly eighty thousand fans showed up at the Independiente in Goza for the visit of Kimi-Suomi. It was still some way shy of capacity but was still a big increase on the meagre crowd that witnessed defeat to Kandorith in the same arena two years ago. Pablo Alarcón scored twice and set up substitute Gustavo Alcocer for the third in a man-of-the-match performance in the stadium in which he plies his domestic trade. Twelve points from the first four games of the campaign and suddenly the whole dynamic had changed.

Which is why the Football Federation were delighted to confirm that forty-eight thousand tickets had been flogged to home fans for the visit of Lisander to Maturín’s Ciudad Deportiva. The stadium was slowly filling and there was a buzz of anticipation that hadn't been felt for quite some time. Not even the end of the winning streak could dampen the mood. Because draws away to both Huayramarca and regional rivals Bollonich were both cases of a point gained rather than two lost and Jelic would have snatched your arm off if you'd offered them to him prior to the campaign beginning. Now people laughed rather than grumbled. Criticisms weren’t being pre-emptively formed. Instead, the Ciudad Deportiva was ready for what was expected to be a tough but exciting test against the visiting Astyrian nation. It would be a first ever meeting between Sargossa and Lisander. Out on the pitch both sets of players were going through their warm-up routines. Pretty soon they would be arrayed in front of the crowd, to the tune of their respective national anthems. And then it would be down to business.

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 2:51 pm

Let's make things pretty clear: asiat eivät menneet hyvin viime kerralla. Ylipäätään. Both Huayramarca and Sargossa did us in last time out and that send us crashing down to 8th in this WCQ group. Things didn't look good...but everyone understood that we shouldn't be screaming in pain just yet. We had only played 4 games in this group so yeah, no one was really worried at all...even the usually cautious Esko Laaksonen. We weren't out of the race with 18 games still to play...and games 5 and 6 proved just that.

Let's start back at Pesä for our duel with Lisander, who were also 2-2 entering this contest of fates in Kimi Kaupunki. The crowd was certainly hungry for a bounceback win to get the Huuhkajat back on track and if that was what they wanted then that was exactly what they got here on this day. Our defense was simply too good for the green team to handle, with the Rautavaaras marking everything under the fucking sun and Peter Nurmi a rock in that net of his. That gave us plenty of time to strike with our offense, which was done via Mika Noronen in the 33rd and Teemu Räikkönen in the 75th. 2-0, simple as that and just like that, we were back up 5th.

Then it was...not Farfadillis (that was my mistake at the time), but rather debutants Bubiyan ja Warbah (Bubiyan and Warbah). B&W weren't expecting do to much in this WC and their 1-1-3 record shows that, but they have at least won a game and were looking to cause an upset in front of their home fans. Unfortunatly for them, that is not what happened at all as our superiority just shone through at every given moment and paved the way for us to sit back and have a good time. Valtteri Nordström certainly had the most fun out there in this game, scoring a hattrick that was lapped up by the visiting fans, with Anne Marie Leppälä, Annina Tuominen and Cajsa Janogy adding their names to the scoresheet in this commanding 6-0 win. We were simply the better team...and just like that, we're back to to 3rd and only 2 points back off top spot.

This season has been a rollercoaster so far, but can the momentum continue into the next international window? Up next is Sudilinen (Sudilia) at Pesä before we finally have to go and play La Vherderoja of Farfadillis on the road. It's always going to be the games against the big boys that determine our overall fate as a Pot 4 team...so getting any points will be critical for the long haul. NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 3:11 pm

OOC - interestingly, the version of the Raiders script I'm working from doesn't seem to be the final version...

INT. "THE RUBBER CHICKEN" SALOON – AUREUMTERRA III - NIGHT

A huge stuffed rubber chicken, plucked wings spread wide, is mounted behind the long bar in the noisy, crowded saloon. A lively mix of patrons is represented in the late hour tableau: Aureumterran natives, fierce local guides, sleazy international smugglers and fugitives, and, of course, football supporters from every corner of the multiverse. A tall Aureumterran, MAHDLO, is the bartender.

In a corner near the fireplace trouble breaks out suddenly between the groups at two neighbouring tables. Ferocious representatives from each table - one a wild-looking AUREUMTERRAN, the other a muscular STARBLAYDI football supporter - jump up to face each other. As the two contenders stand poised for action, their respective supporters shift in their places.

AUREUMTERRAN
Drink ! Drink !

FOOTBALL SUPPORTER
Aye! That'll be your last word.

The bar has quieted ominously and so we hear with startling clarity when - a door behind the bar slams open with a huge BANG! and some Presence, too small to be seen as it moves through the forest of towering patrons, makes a beeline for the troubled corner of the bar. A path clears for it.

The Aureumterran and the Starblaydi are about to kill each other when the Presence arrives directly between them: she is MARGARET, entity of random numbers, beautiful, if a bit hard-looking. At this moment, however, that look does not hurt.

She is not intimidated by the combatants; she jabs accusatory fingers into their chests. She is angry as hell. The patrons shrink under her gaze.

MARGARET
That does it! I've been patient with you no-goods long enough. I'm not open at 2 o'clock for myself, you know. It's all for you. And how do you repay me: Trouble and noise and blood on my floor! I won't have it.
Everybody out! Out! Out! We're closed. Closed! Do your killing outside! And don't leave any bodies on the porch!

The place clears quickly. Stragglers and grumblers are given special attention by Margaret and Mahdlo, who has come from behind the bar carrying a big rubber chicken. Mahdlo herds the bar flies out the front door as Margaret turns and walks behind the bar.

A scowl on her lovely face, she has just begun clearing the bar of glasses when she notices one remaining patron huddled over a glass at the far end of the bar; he’s holding a rubber chicken. Grimacing in exasperation, she heads that way like a locomotive.

MARGARET
Hey you, deaf one! I said out of my place. I don't mean next Easter, I mean now -

She is almost on him when Smith looks up smiling. Margaret stops, stares, shocked.

SMITH
Hello, Margaret. This rubber chicken’s for you.

She hits him with a solid right to the jaw, knocking him off the barstool on the floor. He rubs his jaw and smiles up at her.

SMITH
Nice to see you, too.

MARGARET
Get up and get out.

SMITH
(getting up)
Take it easy. I'm looking for Abner.

MARGARET
(bitterly)
Well you're two years too late.

Smith's attitude changes instantly. This is sad news. He is silent for a long time. Mahdlo comes in the front door and hurries forward when he sees Smith with Margaret. He looks to her for guidance, but she stays him with a gesture.

MARGARET
Go home, Mahdlo. I'll see you tomorrow.

Mahdlo is hesitant, but lays the axe handle on the bar and goes out. Smith has been barely aware of him. Now he settles again on the barstool. Margaret has a vindictive look. She'll let him stay, but she wants to inflict as much pain as possible.

SMITH
What happened?

MARGARET
Excavation trench collapsed. Up there. He was digging. What else? He spent his whole life digging. Dragging me all over this rotten earth. For what?

SMITH
Not a bad way to go. Doing what he loved.

MARGARET
(vitriolic)
Don't give me that stuff! What do you know?
(she takes a drinks)
I followed Abner here because I thought he could find something to release me from overseeing those damn random numbers and rubber chickens. Can you imagine a more evil curse?

SMITH
Why not leave? Why not transcend Ordinary Reality again?

MARGARET
If I knew that, you think I'd still be running this dive?

Smith looks at her, thinking. Under his gaze, she blushes, for reasons only she understands. She looks into her glass and, for a moment, she softens.

MARGARET
I'll tell you something Smith. I've learned to hate Tzimisces over the last ten millennia. But somehow, no matter how much I hated him, I always knew that someday he’d send you through that door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable.
(hopefully)
Why are you here... now... tonight?

Smith takes a long time to answer.

SMITH
Well, we were playing Aureumterra III in the World Cup qualifiers anyway; beat them 4-0; and Juan and I need one of the pieces Abner collected.

Margaret's eyes go icy. She swings at him again with her right, but this time he catches her at the wrist. Then he stops her left, which she has brought up to slap him.

MARGARET
You son-of-a-bitch! You know what Tzimisces did to me, to my life? This is his handiwork.

SMITH
He never meant to hurt you.

MARGARET
As immortal entities go, I was a child!

SMITH
He says you knew what you were doing.

MARGARET
I was in love.

SMITH
I guess that depends on your definition.

MARGARET
It was wrong. Juan knew it.

Smith releases her arms.

SMITH
Look, he did what he did. I don't expect you to be happy about it. But maybe we can do each other some good.

MARGARET
Why start now?

SMITH
Shut up and listen for a second. I want that piece that Abner had. I've got money.

This stops her.

MARGARET
How much?

SMITH
Enough to get you out of this dive and back to torturing World Cup participants with weirdly random results. Where are his things?

MARGARET
Gone. I sold it all. It was all junk. The junk he wasted his sorry little mundy life on.

SMITH
Everything?

Margaret nods.

SMITH
(giving up)
That's too bad.

Smith feels tired, defeated. Margaret is pleased.

Margaret looks at him thoughtfully, takes a drink.

MARGARET
You really have money? You don't look rich.
(Smith nods)
I may be able to locate some of his things. I know who's got them. What do you want?

SMITH
A bronze piece, about this size. In the shape of the sun. Probably broken off at the bottom. Has a little hole in it, off-center. Does that sound familiar?

Margaret thinks, nods slowly.

SMITH
Do you know where it is?

MARGARET
Maybe. How much?

SMITH
Three thousand pandimensional crumbles.

MARGARET
(negative)
That'll get me back to being random, but not in style. This doodad must be pretty important.

SMITH
Maybe.
(pauses)
Okay, five thousand pandimensional crumbles. That's all I can give you now. I can get you more when you leave this mundy dimension.

MARGARET
Tzimisces’ word, huh?
(Smith nods)
Just like he said he'd be back last time? That was his word too.

SMITH
He sent me back, didn’t he?

Margaret sneers and they smile together.

SMITH
You can trust me.

MARGARET
Come back tomorrow.

SMITH
Why?

MARGARET
Because I said so, that's why.

Smith nods, gets up to go.

MARGARET
Wait a minute. Leave the five thousand here.
(Smith hesitates)
You want trust, give some. I want to smell your money.

Smith thinks about this a moment, then reaches inside his shirt and pulls cash from a money belt. He lays five thousand pandimensional crumbles on the bar. Margaret whistles; even for immortal embodiments of randomness that’s a lot of money.

SMITH
I trust you.

MARGARET
You're an idiot.

SMITH
Yeah; that’s what Juan says too.
(Smith smiles and walks to the front door. Then, without looking back…)
Tomorrow.

He's gone. Margaret stares after him, thinking. She takes a drink. Then slowly, her hand comes up to loosen the scarf that is draped around her throat. It falls away, revealing her graceful neck above the dipping top of her blouse. Hanging there on a gold chain against her white skin is a sun-shaped golden medallion. The bottom looks broken off. Margaret lifts the medallion so she can see it in her hand, then looks thoughtfully after Smith….

by **Cap Nord** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 4:25 pm

Like a dog that just discovered he has a tail. It was a charming vision to witness King Harold as he was darting through what was, in theory, the press room of the Stade du Marais. It was an optimistic framing of a drafty open hall under the poetically named Stand Sud-Ouest. On match days, it was packed with journalists searching for wifi under a muttering breath but in the build-up for the fifth game of the qualifiers, against West Barack and East Obama, it served as the warehouse room for all the preparations ahead of the 20th anniversary of the Silk Revolution.

"So these are the specifically designed coquardes, you see. They have the tricolor as the old-school ribbons had, but the pin is shaped as the royal crown and with an additional black string, to commemorate those who suffered needlessly from the events of that period. And this is a new creation 'sweet hands' from our royal chef, Agnetha, who has fused a melted 'sweetkoeke' in between two Nordic hands with the royal insignia. Here, try one! And these banners…"

Years on the political battlefield had taught Chief Minister Annette Dalving to control her emotions in all circumstances but she could not but pull a face over the gastronomical abomination that saw two pieces of shortbread in a stranglehold over a terribly sugared monstrosity. At this point, she realized that giving the King the responsibility over all this had been a mistake. It looked good in theory, something to keep him occupied and away from more important stuff but in all his incapacity, this organization happened to be the one thing he could get carried away by and realize stuff. Just her luck.

"... with the final one covering the whole stand, saying 'For the Nation'. And then after the victory, I…"
"After the final whistle."

The King, not used to being interrupted, paused for a second. One could see the radars run behind his retina, slowly clicking into place.

"I have asked Robert to ensure a win and with our spirited support, we will surely grab it. So, after the victory, a podium is erected and I will give a speech. It will focus on our current successes, the grand new start made. There will be room to commemorate the events twenty years ago: a moment of silence to those needlessly wounded but also a banner for those who bravely and peacefully stood up for a more equal and democratic Cap Nord. But the focus will be on the future: from now on, the twelfth will be known as Royal Day and a day off. I will announce that there will be free beverages and delightful 'sweet hands' distributed to all school children. And I will announce that new democratic elections are to follow s-"
"What?!"
"Should we ask for a minor contribution for the food?"
"No, you… After that!"
"Oh, is handing out sweets to school children weird? I got a set of white vans already lined up to hand it out outside the school gates but we can always paint them if-"
"After that, you moron!"

Annette Dalving's eyes were spitting fire as the last syllable echoed through the hall. The royal assistants had suddenly disappeared in one of the many concrete cracks and the King looked as if he wanted to join them.

"I thought. We had always said we aim for a constitutional monarchy and… On a day like that, it would be highly symbolic that…"
"We? We? Listen, Harold, you may wear a crown and speak to the audience left and right but if it were not for us, you would still be rotting away in some Koronavian apartment. So if and when the time is right for elections, you will get the memo. Till then, you shake hands, wave and smile."

Her reputation as an iron roller had preceded her yet being on the receiving end silenced the King for a bit: long enough for Dalving to regroup a little.

"So I suggest a rewrite, your Highness."
"Yes, yes, I see. Can the handing out of medals to twenty Capnordians with extraordinary accomplishments still go on?"
*sigh* "Has the list gone through the security services?"
"Was that… necessary? I have already sent the invites."
"I suggest, your Highness, that you limit yourself to giving a day off to the population and diabetes to the kids, that will be just enough.

[A day earlier, in a small hamlet near Opsvik]

"I am home!"

Jorgen Bjerkness bellowed it into the kitchen with the widest of grins, tossing a stack of mail onto the living room table. Being signed to a Tikariotian club, he would not be at home as often anymore as he wished, but home matches of the Whalers were a perfect occasion to slip away and visit home, if only for a few hours in the morning.

"Hi, honey."

One could guess the amount of packs smoked from her voice but Erna Bjerkness always had the most charming smile a mother can have for her boy. After all, each other was all they had in terms of family. Whilst other kids had grandparents, brothers and second cousins, it had always been her and him for Jorgen: it never struck him as strange, it was just the way it was. His upbringing had not been in wealth, but they had never been short of anything, not financially nor in attention or love. The bond between the two was such that no day passed that they called and as a consequence, a visit as this one was more for habit than in need of one another's voice.

"Want a cup?"
"A World Cup?"
"Jezus, Jorgen, the groan… If that's the level of puns you are picking up in Fort Viljan, you guys deserve to relegate. With sugar, still?"

She knew the answer and as she grabbed the cooker, Jorgen mindlessly went through the stack.

"For me, bill, for me, for me, advertisement, for me, damn, I am popular!"
"Yeah, people keep on asking for an autograph on this address. I usually sign it myself and send it back. A Bjerkness is a Bjerkness, as if they know. But it would be nice if some of my mail would actually be for me."
"Some is! Look, an advert with ten percent of dog food! Oh, and this one has your name on it as well. It looks fancy, with the flag and a crown and all on it."

Jorgen was not sure how she could get out of the kitchen that fast on her slippers.

"Gimme that. Hmm… Hmm…"
"Interesting?"
"Bunch of nonsense. Probably an advertisement for bald spots."

With a careless gesture, she tossed the paper in the bag with the carrot and potato peels from the day before. Jorgen left it there, even if his fingers ached. Living with your mother for nineteen years does tell you if and when she is a terrible liar.

[Two days later, in the Stade du Marais]

Robert McEather stood in front of his bench, screaming and pointing in the direction of the goal of Dwayne Obama. It was bloody useless, he knew that as well, but it was a better look than staying mute. Useless, not just because his players knew bloody damn well that the target was to score in the rectangle guarded by the red and yellow Obamen, but also because the audience complained so loud that he struggled to hear himself think.

It had started already before the game, Robert told himself, due to stuff out of his control. There had been a light drizzle in the afternoon, something which the local fans were used to but which now presented a nasty surprise. In the morning, volunteers (probably conscripts with time on their hands) had gone around the stadium and placed 'sweet hands' and a coquarde on every seat. A nice gesture if the rain had not turned the sugary biscuit into a repulsive goo that stuck to the seats. The lucky ones could wipe it off their chairs but especially those placed on the wooden benches from Stand Sud-Ouest would go home with brown stains on unadmirable parts of their trousers.

Then there were the ceremonies before the game, which included banners depicting scenes from the glorious history of Cap Nord. The unveiling of most of them went well, but the one on the Silk Revolution tore halfway through as it came down. An accident, all involved parties would proclaim, but one that turned a sour atmosphere a notch grim: it was not because the population struggled for the right tone over the event, that they would allow someone ripping it out of the storybook. And then came the opening half: forty-five minutes with two teams staring each other in the eye, awaiting a first blink from one another whilst passing the ball near the halfline. The Obama Carers might be lined up as a 3-5-2, they represented an impenetrable double wall. And the Whalers were not much better: a slightly injured Carstensen was replaced by the more defensive Bissett and playmaker Bjerkness was on the leash of his direct opponent Charles Obama.

So then came more rain on the thirty thousand fans and as they were soaked, stained, bored and inaccurately-framed-from-a-historical-viewpoint, the inevitable happened. No one would ever be able to tell who started it, but at some point one person had thrown his coquarde on the field. And then the next. And quickly, it rained sharp metallic objects. As the little ribbons gave the construction some draft, quite a few made it over the touchline and on the pitch. The referee was forced to postpone the restart of the game by ten minutes as the same volunteers cleaned up the field, amid chants which threw a rather negative shadow on their mothers and the royal family. That the latter (and maybe some of the former) were present did not help the atmosphere.

And so, the match had restarted but with similar results: lethargic players, outraged supporters. McEather hesitated, he had to do something, right? He could take off Bissett and Bjerkness for Veensma and Sangaré: two players with movement and hopefully that one moment to break the deadlock. They were warming up already.

Just as he wanted to call them, his eyes went up the stands. Over the main stand, to the box with the notable figures. Dalving looked just as always, flawless, wrinkleless, as if they put her and her chic suit in styrofoam every evening to break her out as new for the next occasion. Two suits to her left, King Harold had the stern look on his face of a man who had just heard from about thirty-thousand voices that they wanted to piss on his crown. But as he noticed Robert looked up, there came a glimmer of hope and even a hesitant thumbs up. And thinking about the tactical advice of the King, McEather sent Sangaré and Veensma back to the bench.

Four minutes later, it is Poulsen in possession. He struggled all night with Barracki but this time, he has a few meters available for a cross. It is not a good one and all Danny Clark can do with it is head it back in the general direction of the midfielders. Jorgen Bjerkness reaches it before Chobamya, hits it but only barely. It is a weak shot and Dwayne Obama already goes down on one knee to pick it up… Then the ball suddenly jumps up, goes left of a stunned goalkeeper and hits the net. 1-0.

The replay shows that one of the pins had been forgotten by the volunteers but now plays a central role in the deflection. Bjerkness cheers in front of the crowd. If it were a movie, the rain would stop and the sun would break out. This is real life, so the fans receive another pouring but they no longer seem to mind: Cap Nord leads on its way to a third consecutive home win. Suddenly, all the misery seems forgotten.

McEather waves his triumphant fist to the crowds: a victory, by his hand, through a goal with royal approval.

by **Mytanija** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 4:46 pm

TROLLEBORG 0-1 MYTANIJA

MYT: Skara 26’

MYT: 1. Besak; 2. A. Milosevic, 3. Savicevic (c), 4. Mbala-Ekakia, 5. P. Odonelec; 6. Papez (sub. Smajic 73’); 8. Ovsyannikov (sub. Gjorgjioski 80’), 10. Kuhar-Arh (sub. Urbanc 60’); 7. Tejic (sub. Vujanovic 73’), 9. Skara, 11. Hranilovic (sub. Bajic 73’)

MYTANIJA 1-0 CAP NORD

MYT: Tejic 41’

MYT: 1. Besak; 2. A. Milosevic, 3. Savicevic (c), 4. Mbala-Ekakia, 5. P. Odonelec; 6. Papez; 8. Ovsyannikov (sub. Atsev 70’), 10. Kuhar-Arh (sub. Urbanc 70’); 7. Tejic (sub. Vujanovic 65’), 9. Skara (sub. Ocokoljic 65’), 22. Bajic (sub. Hranilovic 84’)

SOME THOUGHTS ON MYTANIJA’S DEFENSIVE RECORD

Mytanija’s defensive record so far during the World Cup qualifying campaign has been nothing short of excellent and has allowed the team to amass a strong record of five wins and a draw from the six games so far. During that run of form the Hoops have kept five clean sheets from six games, conceding only two goals when the foot was taken off the gas ever so slightly against Ascvalion. Truly impressive. This seems to have come from a return to the basics of defending amongst Mytanija’s first choice back four, something that we will look at in greater depth in this blog, with an emphasis on stronger box defending when the opposition are putting pressure on. There’s also an interesting argument to be made regarding what Kitanchev is asking his players to do out of possession, perhaps playing slower, more methodically, to keep the spaces between teammates smaller and guard against opposition counter attacks. We’ll have a look at both these aspects of Mytanija’s approach.

There has been a swing towards defenders who are comfortable in possession in recent years, with full backs who might be asked to play very high up the pitch, or even move into midfield positions to add an extra body there. Either of these approaches put extra pressure on the central defenders, who are often required to defend large spaces in behind them as they must push up higher to not allow too much space between them and their midfielders. They often have to defend this space as a two, an exceptionally difficult task and one which opponents can exploit with quick balls in behind to pacy forwards or wingers.

Mytanija’s first-choice central defensive pairing have played a lot of games alongside one another. Both are good with the ball at their feet, fully capable of playing line-breaking passes to help their team in the build-up phase, but they are also classical defenders. Grigorij Savicevic – now Mytanija captain – is regarded with great affection by Zozi fans for his brave approach to defending, prepared to put his body on the line to make tackles and block shots. Bigger Mbala-Ekakia is a more of a thoroughbred defender, pacy and able to read the game well. Both are excellent in the air. This has all been true for several years, so what has changed (so far) in World Cup 93 qualification to help the team put together such an impressive defensive record?

“We’re being asked to keep it simple defensively, I think.” Bigger Mbala-Ekakia pondered in one post-match interview. “When we’re under pressure at the back the manager has asked us to just focus on keeping the ball out, clearing it and getting it away from danger. It might sound simple, but I think we might have gone too far the other way at times in recent years, trying to play out from the back and putting ourselves under more pressure when it wasn’t on. I suppose it’s just going back to the basics of defending.”

And it bears out in stats too, with Mytanija making a significantly higher number of clearances than they were during any of the previous three qualification campaigns. You could say that that might be because the Hoops are under more pressure, with opponents having more possession near the Mytanar box, but the numbers for time spent in Mytanija’s defensive third remain fairly stable. The defenders are just taking the safety-first option more often and clearing the ball away. That might not have worked with a false nine on the pitch, dropping into midfield, but with a front three and a more traditional striker who can hold the ball up and bring those wingers into play? It seems to be working very well.

There’s a point to be made about the full backs too, Asmir Milosevic and Patrik Odonelec appear to be Kitanchev’s first-choice options, and both are players who have grown up and developed as what you might call defence first full backs. Patrik Odonelec spent time under Robin Hjik’s tutelage, a counter-attacking coach, before playing alongside and then being coached by Josip Radonic who is a true Hjik disciple. Patrik Odonelec is a fine full-back and crosser of the ball, but he prefers to be the full-back who becomes the extra centre-half when Mytanija have the ball. He likes to play there to use his passing in the build-up and because he backs his defensive abilities. That’s before we talk about his colleague on the other side.

Asmir Milosevic came through at Ararat Severyan under Misel Ravnjak. That should tell you all you need to know, but for any overseas readers or newcomers to the blog, Misel Ravnjak is the most talented defensive coach in Mytanija who won perhaps the most surprising Top League title in history before shocking the whole of Rushmore by winning the Copa de Campeones. Milosevic developed under this man and you can tell. He is confident in getting forward to play as the left-most player in the front five when Mytanija have comfortable possession, allowing Nenad Tejic to drift inside, but Milosevic’s recovery pace and perhaps most crucially his anticipation to get back into position when Mytanija lose the ball or could be countered on is something he has developed with this defence first approach. His game has become more expansive at 1896 Ebor and he even spent some time playing as more of a wing-back under Ravnjak, but the player selection with two full backs who really know how to defend has been a decisive factor in this uptick in defensive form.

You might think that between the simpler instructions for Savicevic and Mbala-Ekakia and the selection of full-backs who know how to defend that there’s not much else to know about why Mytanija are defending so well at the moment. You would be wrong. There’s another reason which requires a slightly deeper analysis of the way the team are playing to really identify. It relates to the positions the players take up, the space between them and also the pace at which they are playing and even the number of passes to one another that they are making. It seems like Kitanchev is instructing his team to play more slowly, to be more methodical, to minimise the spaces between teammates and to guard against counter attacks.

Many believed that we might see a Mytanija with the handbrake taken off under Dzvezdan Kitanchev. He’s known for employing different styles of play and different formations, tinkering under the hood when he feels like a change is needed, but his teams have always usually liked to get the ball from back-to-front quickly. That doesn’t seem to be the message with this team, although the development into a methodical, positional play team perhaps does represent a continuation of his tinkering. We often see Mytanija with every player in the opposition half, with the two central defenders and Patrik Odonelec stationed on the halfway line; Nurija Papez in close proximity and Denis Ovsyannikov not too far away either; then you get the front line of five, with Asmir Milosevic wide left, Nenad Tejic drifting inside, Drazen Skara the real focal point, Omer Kuhar-Arh looking to make darting runs between opposition central defender and full-back and either Mirko Hranilovic or Milos Bajic holding the width on the right hand-side.

The spaces between the players, both vertically and horizontally are all very small, this means that they only have to pass short distances to one another. Short passes are usually less risky than longer ones, which means that this could well be another risk-averse feature of this Kitanchev team, perhaps designed to guard against some of the counters which have riddled Hoops’ teams in recent years.

“I like direct football. I love it.” Kitanchev told the media. “But sometimes we have to go away from this because we have to do what is best to win the matches. I like to play with pace, to kill the opponent with one, two passes, boom boom, you’re in on goal. But in international football, against teams who like to defend with eleven and frustrate you? Guys, believe me, you cannot do this. You have to play slowly, get your team in position, so Nurija [Papez] is close to his mate, Denis [Ovsyannikov]. Then they cannot counterattack against you so well. We pass the ball, and we pass again and that allows us to get set-up. One thousand passes, guys…”

Which is interesting, because apart from Kitanchev appearing to go balder the longer he spoke on this subject, Mytanija’s goals still seem to be coming from their most direct pieces of play – with the slower style appearing to be leaned into fully only once the lead is secured. Mytanija’s opener and only goal against Trolleborg came from a sweeping move, Mbala-Ekakia heading clear to Ovsyannikov, him chesting down to Nurija Papez and Papez hitting an audacious first-time volleyed pass for Mirko Hranilovic to race onto. Hranilovic took two touches before hitting a low cross which Drazen Skara met with a diving header. The winner against Cap Nord came from Asmir Milosevic hoofing a ball clear, Skara winning the ball in the air on his chest, bringing it down and laying back to Ovsyannikov who sent Nenad Tejic – drifting into his favoured inside left position – through on goal. Tejic made no mistake. Three passes from back-to-front (and calling Milosevic’s clearance a pass would be giving him too much credit).

It's an interesting little issue, because the Hoops aren’t creating as much when they play this slower, more methodical style, perhaps because it allows the opponent to get set just as much as it allows Mytanija to have a good rest defence against opposition counters. This has meant slightly dangerous single goal leads against both Trolleborg and Cap Nord, so despite the strong defensive showings there’s always been the chance of a single concession leading to dropped points. If Mytanija can keep it up Kitanchev’s tinkering might well look like a stroke of genius, albeit one which won’t win over many neutrals due to its inherent entertainment value.

by **Kelssek** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 6:04 pm

LOCAL | THE REPUBLIC | THE COMMONWEALTH | INTERNATIONAL | SPORTS | ARTS & CULTURE | OPINION & ANALYSIS

FOOTBALL
Trouble brews and qualification in doubt as Kelssek fires blanks
by: Lewis Brockton

Any managerial honeymoon that Francois St-Louis may have enjoyed came to a crashing end after Kelssek failed to score in 188 minutes of play that has left their qualification for the World Cup in serious jeopardy even at this early stage.

The studio pundits for broadcaster G/S put up some form of a debate in the post-match coverage, with former international Matt Lister taking St-Louis’s side in pointing out he’s yet to lose a match. Was this purely for the sake of the spectacle of an argument, a producer in his ear wanting to drive engagement? Qualifying is a cut-throat business, ultimately a contest between the top sides to drop the fewest points in their group. Surely Lister, a veteran of such battles, knows this full well.

The manager was not foolish enough to invoke such a defence when he faced the media. He admitted it was a “very poor” pair of results and took responsibility for there being “a measure of complacency”.

It must be said that the manager cannot take all or even most of the blame here. It’s not so much complacency as that with a team in transition, many of the players are still feeling the glow of accomplishment of becoming Kelssek national team regulars. Which no doubt it is; thousands of players working very hard for that goal will never even earn a cap. But they need to get over this mentality and realize that with such a status come expectations, and qualifying for the World Cup is an expectation they are failing to meet.

Moreover, some kind of transition was always necessary, as Kelssek’s old guard, as it were, of Colm Ó Tuathail and Gabriel Lapierre will both be 36 years old by the time the main tournament – if Kelssek makes it – kicks off. St-Louis has not done wrong in the way he's brought in the new players who are the future of this team: slowly, without pressure, and not demanding too much too soon.

In that sense, how Kelssek played missing Lapierre when he was sent off was not the problem as much as how they coped with him suspended and all eleven players on the pitch. Some credit can be given for holding the fort against the group’s leaders shorthanded for 40 minutes. But the inability of dí Êzêkíl dí Völará and Issac Lafrenière to do the job against Indusse is much more concerning – these are on paper experienced, top professionals. It's not the younger fledglings who have messed up but the core of the squad who didn't perform against Gnejs and Indusse.

And while online chatter of a rift between the players of Farfadillis ancestry amid a new outbreak of violence there is probably overblown, there is a general lack of cohesion between all the players, regardless of how many generations back their roots go. They don’t have to be best friends, but they do need to work as a team, and the sense of not everyone being on the same wavelength is one reason they struggled to find the right pass at the right time on the attack this past week.

Kelssek are left three points adrift of third place, necessary to advance to a qualifying playoff, and four points from the automatically-qualifying top spot. In the end, it’s still too early to panic, but this is a deficit that will only become harder to close if this ambivalent form continues.

KELSSEK 0
Terlock, Buené, Lambert, Bream, Holman, Lapierre, dí Völará (Robin 76’), Hartpoach (Ó Tuathail 76’), Mann (Taleb 65’), Maçon-Petrault (Ahmad 65’), Maradrogba (Breault 52’)
GNEJS 0
Olympic Stadium, Alavaria (attn. 39,884)
INDUSSE 0
KELSSEK 0
Terlock, Earrach, Camserhe, Lozic, dí Völará, Lafrenière (Ducharne 82’), Ó Tuathail (Heer 74’), Mann (Lohánares 86’), Ahmad, Maçon-Petrault (Taleb 82’), Maradrogba (an Deòir 74’)

by **Acastanha** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 6:19 pm

Acastanha Yearly Kaleidoscope
Hot Issue of the Year - Part 1

It is Acastanha Yearly Kaleidoscope again. And for this third issue, we will recall about the hot issues that surrounds the country in the year of 2023. Issue from politics, economy and environment were quite big this year. And because of it, we will divided it into several parts to give a clear view of what's the issue is about and their current status. For the first part, we are looking into the politics of Acastanha. One issue emerge at the beginning of the year.

Ocidental/Ketampi Secession Issue

This issue is not a new one. It has been revolved around for the past 5 years. But recently, the attention to the issue is raise again. It was triggered by ANP leader speech 2 years ago who said that the republic system is failed because it enlarge the gap between the two major ethnics in the country. The speech was controversial before and still as it is until today. His speech however fueled the movement in Ocidental Province (or locally known as Ketampi) to secede from Palidas republic and create their own republic under Acastanha federal government. A different culture, ethnic majority, language and religion become their main issue of the movement. And the fact that the province is cut off from the rest of Palidas by Arra's province Tabeirakan increase the demand to secede.

Ketampi Bersatu (United Ketampi), the largest political party in the province highly support the secession idea. The leader, Salahuddin Soleh stated that he will push the agenda into a reality. With Ketampi Bersatu held the majority in the province's parliament, he hope that it can be done fast and smoothly. However, the plan face a huge obstacles from the republic's parliament. MPs in Palidas parliament are highly oppose of the plan. This opposition mostly coming from PLDP's MP.

Political expert, Andre Aramde stated that PLDP leaders doesn't want to lose their domination in Palidas. And the issue highly scratch the party's leadership in the republic. PLDP consecutively won regional election in Palidas and control the parliament in numerous times. And this secession issue can be seen as their failure to manage the whole republic. But Aramde reminded that secession is possible in Acastanha political frame if two third of the provincial parliament members support the issue. Which in Aramde's calculation would be possible seeing that 2 local parties, Ketampi Bersatu and Partai Ketam Jaya, are dominant parties there.

However, no progress have been made towards the realization of the plan. Another issue is likely become more important in the province especially about the offshore oil exploration that intersect the province waters. Despite being on hold, but voiced of the secession is still there. And it will probably be looked back in the future.

by **Saterun** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 7:06 pm

The Promised Land: A Journey Through Saterun Football
By Kalvin Hsemer

Part 3, Chapter 1: La Taça

Although the A. Liga is the top level of Saterun domestic football, it is not the only one. After all, it only contains 16 teams. Generally, each city within the A. Liga will only have one team. Tsear and Anasb are exceptions, of course, but only because of their population and significance. With only one team in a nationwide leage, players from a certain city will find it extremely hard to make it into the A. Liga. If not for the Taça, this could mean some very talented players missing out on league football completely just because they are the 26th best player in the city (A. Liga restrictions only allow for 25 senior players per club). Of course, these players could attempt to move and play for another club in another city, but it is often not worth it, as the new club already has 20 good players and are unlikely to take more.

So where do all of the players not quite good enough for the A. Liga go?

Enter the Taça. A Taça is a city-wide competition between the city's best semi-pro and amateur teams. Every major city in Saterun has such a competition. It is incredibly important, as it provides a platform for local players. Often, the A. Liga resident club will scout out these tournaments to look for potential talent. But more than that, the Taça connects the people of a city on a neighborhood level. It is a grassroots organization. The poeple in the stands will often personally know the players. This tradition has a long history, almost always entangled with the local community. This is a different kind of football.

It seems that the first Taça took place in Fontecoro, municipal capital of the small eastern state of Portura. At this time in Saterun football history, Crest FC were dominating. So much, in fact, that they did not lose a single match at home between 1928 and 1933. While Fontecoro isn't near Ihass, per se, it is close enough to pick up on some cultural diffusion. Some of that culture came across in the form of football. And in Fontecoro, a remarkable thing happened. Five seperate football clubs were founded independently of each other in 1931, all without knowing the others existed until they looked for a match.

The most popular of these teams, Fontecoro Strike, was led by a manager by the name of Gary Javvel. Javvel was a native of Fontecoro, and believed that his city's football was the best on offer. First, he started to decline more and more match offers from other teams across the nation. He only accepted a few, to be played in Fontecoro. He also pitched the idea of a city-wide competition to his superiors. It was the first idea of a Taça. Gradually, the other four teams expressed their support for the idea. On May 4th, 1934, the first Taça officially kicked off. Within 10 days, Fontecoro Strike had steamrolled to victory. It had been a 10 days like no one had ever seen. Streets were littered with ribbons and confetti. Bars around Strike's home ground, White Hare Lane, were packed to the brim. It was a glimpse into what a Taça had to offer.

Soon, other cities followed. It would be impossible to catalog every single Taça that took place, as, at its height, 15 cities were having a Taça every year. An interesting pattern emerged, however. In 1984, the original five clubs, now within an expaned Taça of 12, declared that they would never go professional. Soon, the rest of the 12 teams joined that agreement. That was a monumentous announecment. This existed within the context of the five regional competetions, all with professional teams. Fontecoro is a large city, and it would make sense for it to have an A. Liga team. And yet, it doesn't. Many football fans attribute that to the fact that the Big Five teams all stayed amateur during a rapid professionalization on a national level. If any professional team was founded in order to compete in the A. Liga it would never reach the popularity of those big five teams.

This standardized amateurism spread like wildfire among the rest of the Taças. Of course, they now would all have to be amateur, as the only professional level is the A. Liga. And, although the Taças showcase some incredible football talent, no amateur team can come close to the A. Liga. Because of this, you will never see Oceanico winning the Sandrista (Sandre's Taça). Even though Oceanico might regularly finish in the foot of the A. Liga table, it would sweep a city-wide competition like the Sandrista. This percieved chasm between A. Liga and city teams is beneficial for both sides. The A. Liga sides don't have to worry about threats to their places in the league, and the city teams have a reasonable chance of winning the annual Taça.

Although the basic format is the same, every Taça is different. In the upcoming chapters, I will look at some of the most vibrant and passionate ones, including the creatively named Tsear City Football Competition and the fiery Daxler Intra-city Championship. I will also look at some of the biggest teams and player. Finally, I'll try my best to describe the intricate communities that tie them all together.

by **Hopal** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 7:28 pm

First Report: MISUSE OF PUBLIC FUNDS, Scandal in the Hopalian Olympic Committee

The Hopal Herald is reporting that after months of investigating, multiple source corroborations, and mounting evidence, that there was ring of corrupt practice within the Hopalian Olympic Committee which the at the least included misuse of public funds, embezzlement, money laundering.

The Hopal Herald understands the seriousness of making such allegations and does not take the making of these allegations lightly. But it is our journalistic duty to report to you, the public, of the truth, and that is the obligation that we take the most seriously. Some of the reporting ahead is incomplete, and will be updated as more details emerge. This is still a developing story, and this is only our first report of it.

Most of the allegations centre around Lucy Gurvaneses, the Chair of the Hopalian Olympic Committee, who seems to have been the ringleader of these corrupt practices and who seems to have benefited the most from it.

The first indication that something was amiss within the Hopalian Olympic Committee was when Hopal failed to produce a team to compete at the most recent Summer Olympics. This angered many within the Hopalian sporting community and to many antagonized the Hopalian Olympic Committee. Hopalian fans and athletes alike were agitated at the Hopalian Olympic Committee for not fielding a team at the Olympics, and they watched the Olympics without Team Hopal participating. Athletes in particular were angry, as some were missing a small window in their career where they were at their best, where they had worked for years, and oftentimes their entire lives to get to that point. Former Olympic gold-medalist Joe Lighthardt told us at the time, "we're sitting here at home, missing what could have the performance, the Olympics of our life, because the Hopalian Olympic Committee can't get their act together and field a team. Some of us won't this opportunity again, and we've all worked really hard to get to this point, only to get our dreams dashed by the Hopalian Olympic Committee, you can't put a price on that. I know what it's like to be at the Olympics, I've had the privilege of being an Olympian, it's a surreal, wonderful, amazing moment, when all of your life's work finally comes together in this one moment that you've been dreaming of your whole life. Now some athletes, wonderful, amazing Hopalian athletes, who've dedicated their life to get to this point, won't get to see that moment, won't get to experience that, won't see the fruit of their work. All of that is because the Hopalian Olympic Committee couldn't get their act together. The Hopalian Olympic Committee's primary job is to look after Hopalian athletes, and field a team, bring together a team, look after a team of Hopalian athletes to and at the Olympics. The Hopalian Olympic Committee has now failed to do that, and frankly we need to take a hard look at what happened there, what went wrong, and frankly I think that the whole committee needs to be replaced." Many Hopalian fans and athletes echoed Lighthardt's call at the time, calling on the Hopalian Olympic Committee to resign and/or be reorganized, and many were angry at the Hopalian Olympic Committee. The Hopalian Olympic Committee said in a statement at the time that they "did not at the time such a [Olympic] team would be assembled, have the sufficient funds in reserve to properly field and maintain a team." They also said they were "working with athletes, and working to secure more adequate funding to support Hopalian sports and Hopalian Olympic dreams. We all agree that fielding an Olympic team is important, and we are working hard to ensure a team will be fielded at the next Olympics." It is important here to note that the Chair of the Hopalian Olympic Committee Lucy Gurvaneses has not been seen in public since the Hopalian Olympic Committee failed to field a team for these Olympics. We should also note it is at this point that the Hopal Herald began investigating the matter. The Minister of Culture Lawrence Tahity then said at the time, "we are looking very closely at what went wrong at the Hopalian Olympic Committee, we are investigating what happened, and we will have answers to your questions very soon." We have not heard since from Minister Tahity, the Ministry of Culture or newly-created Ministry of Public Identity, Sport, and Cohesion, who supposedly took over the investigation, on this topic.

Our investigating shows that there was a concerted effort to embezzle money from the Hopalian Olympic Committee most likely with the majority going to bank account of Lucy Gurvaneses. The Hopal Herald obtained a copy of the budget for the past fiscal year which showed $20 million Hopalian Currents being allocated to the Hopalian Olympic Committee. This was confirmed by copies of balance books from the Hopalian Olympic Committee that the Hopal Herald obtained. All of this money was put into what the Hopalian Olympic Committee called the Olympic Committee Reserve Fund, which is where all of their funds apparently go to. Now the Hopalian Olympic Committee supports all of the athletes in their network, this takes about $1 million Currents out of their fund every month, which was the amount that went out in January of last year. Last year's Winter Olympics began in March, and by the Opening Ceremony of these Winter Olympics, according to the Hopalian Olympic Committee's balance books $5 million Currents had left the Olympic Committee Reserve Fund. Now the committee's told us $3 million currents went to support athletes and the remaining $2 million were for organizing and supporting Team Hopal at the Winter Olympics. Which backs up, supporting an Olympic team is an expensive venture, but you have to wonder if it's quite that expensive. On the balance books at the Hopalian Olympic Committee is doesn't state why money is leaving the organization, reasons aren't listed, it's purely a spreadsheet of how much has gone in and how much has gone out. We see that between March and August, when the Summer Olympics were held, the amount of money leaving the Hopalian Olympic Committee steadily increased. By August, the amount of money left in the Olympic Committee's reserve fund was $750,000 currents. Theoretically, if $1 million currents leave the Olympic Committee's Reserve Fund a month between March and August, the amount of money left in the fund should be $11 million. Where did all of the money go? Well we asked the Hopalian Olympic Committee and they told us that they made aggressive investments in expanding sport, building new sport facilities, and expanding their network of athletes. Saying that this was requested by the government, and that they had been committed in investing in sport, but didn't have the adequate funding from the government after these payments as was promised.

Our investigating shows that wasn't the whole story. We found that millions of dollars went to shadow athletes and shadow contractors, mostly based in Port Hope and some in Hopton where Lucy Gurvaneses lives and works. We found hundreds of names on the Hopalian Olympic Committee's list of athletes like Lily Gurka, Jasmine Holland, Jake Cobach, Jason Li, Olive Perry, Frank Esther, the list goes on, but we couldn't find any record of these people being actual athletes, but they're still getting paid thousands of currents a month. We also found contractors being paid by the Hopalian Olympic Committee millions of currents to build sporting facilities, contractors such as Hoper and Greig, co-founded by Gurvaneses' brother-in-law and Jordan Co., founded by Gurvaneses' cousin. But we couldn't find any proof of these contractors actually building any sporting facilities, or at least any facilities that warranted being paid this amount of money. The Bank of Hopal let us look through their accounts and the balance sheets on those accounts. We found that there were bank accounts under the names of these shadow athletes and shadow contractors, and that every month thousands and sometimes hundreds of thousands of currents would be put into these accounts directly from the Hopalian Olympic Committee's Reserve Fund. A lot of the time this money would be taken out of the account days later, and sometimes the same amount of money taken out of these accounts would show up in Lucy Gurvaneses' bank account. We aren't sure who's controlling these accounts, whether it's Gurvaneses herself or her accomplices, but we do know that Lucy Gurvaneses seems to be directly benefiting from what appears to be a conspiracy to embezzle funds out of the Hopalian Olympic Committee. We do know that Lucy Gurvaneses purchased a massive $5 million current mansion just outside of Port Hope this past June, something that we likely wouldn't be able to afford with her regular $200,000 current salary, and her current residences in Port Hope and Hopton both valued at $1 million currents each. It is clear that Gurvaneses is at some sort of an advantage and that money seems to be coming directly out of the Hopalian Olympic Committee.

We have reached the Hopalian Olympic Committee and Lucy Gurvaneses' office directly for comment, they have not responded. We have reached out to the Prime Minister's Office, the Ministry of Public Identity, Sport, and Cohesion, the Ministry of Culture, the Ministry of Governmental Affairs, Oversight, and Efficiency for comment, none have responded. All of our reporting has been turned over to the Hopalian National Police Service for investigation. We will continue to update this story as details emerge. We will continue our reporting on this story in our Second Report tomorrow.

by **Nephara** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 7:57 pm

UBSA 0 - 1 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 17 - Levering (2 - Rake 71'), 5 - Roback, 22 - Mitteager, 3 - Lind; 24 - Sebold, 19 - Rosziter (15 - Constantine 71'), 23 - Swainsona (26 - Kvasina 64'); 7 - Anharbour, 10 - Harper, 16 - Hauser
Goal: Harper 37'

Nephara 2 - 1 Tjunia
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 2 - Rake, 18 - Copperhead (5 - Roback 89'), 6 - Scales, 25 - Xu (3 - Lind 76'); 4 - Southsea, 15 - Constantine (19 - Rosziter 84'), 8 - March (24 - Sebold 76'); 13 - Brewer (7 - Anharbour 53'), 21 - Vetiver (9 - Reisinger 84'), 11 - Loeher
Goals: Loeher 6', Vetiver 32'

FULL FLIGHT: THE DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF THE CORMORANTS
PART 6: What Might Have Been
Geneva Schwarzer
Part 1: Dawn
Part 2: Breakthrough
Part 3: Shoulders of a Giant
Part 4: Before the Dawn
Part 5: Glory

Reinhard Shale arrived with big wraps and big expectations. Experts recognised that Esportiva was a confederation with several rising powers, and indeed that the Cormorants themselves had not been the strongest side on paper when they had won the World Cup. But Nepharan fans were stubborn and prideful, and even within the media a sense prevailed that they had to kick on from their success. But a bruising Campionato Esportiva ended in the quarterfinals, with Sasha Bale's Brenecia edging out the Cormorants 1-0.

Still, qualification for the world title defence was a formality, and it lead to one of the strangest tournament performances the Cormorants had ever put in. Group C was blown straight open by the emergence of Chromatika, who announced themselves with three straightforward wins. Nephara scraped victory over Saintland but were beaten by Abanhfleft, bailed out by Chromatika's victory over Saintland, scraping through as one of three teams on three points. But the oddness didn't stop there.

A thumping extra-time strike from Igrene Cantor scraped the Cormorants past Pasarga, before a stunningly awful penalty shootout saw Nephara inch past Farfadillis - deploying born Nephar Scheherezade Meier on the wing - in the quarterfinals, Justinian Hargrave unbeaten as the Cormorants scraped through it 2-0. But while this was a golden age within Esportiva, it wasn't Nephara's. It was the Sunrise Islands'. Alcouin and Stabb dispatched Nephara in the semifinal, before beating Valladares in the final, in the midst of a stunning unbeaten streak near-unmatched within the world game. Nephara beat Audioslavia in the playoff, just their second win in 90 minutes of a tournament where they'd played all seven possible games.

Nephara suffered an emasculating defeat in the CE17 final, again to Brenecia, before the following World Cup put them in a group that reunited them with Chromatika and Pasarga, as well as Fluvique. The Cormorants took seven points, but for the fifth time in their history, lost to the eventual champions... again, the United Sunrise Islands. It came in extra time, Nephara putting up a strong fight, looking more convincing than two years prior, maybe even than the World Cup itself, with the likes of Scharner and Amokachi now in their primes... but it didn't matter. Second round was second round.

But it was a strange and liminal time to be a Nephar. The country was at war, having been drawn into the Endemian War, initially in defence of its offshore territory in Iskandervale and subsequently in direct defence of the mainland, helping throw momentum behind the Euran push. The nation had made a name for itself for its exploits with the Esportivan region, but only because that had been the established confederation to reach out to proud, independent, isolationist Nephara first. More and ever more, Nephara's eyes were drawn west.

But Reinhard Shale's career had been rooted in Esportiva, in an Esportivan Premiership, with Esportivan Buyan, and in rivalry with the Esportivan Sunrise Islands, the pre-eminent nation of his short years. It would end, the same way. First in Campionato Esportiva 18, where old patterns reasserted themselves one final time. Seven matches, seven wins; Kernovi, Port Christopher, Llamaland, Tumbra, the Sunrise Islands and San Jose Guayabal, each dispatched in turn. They won their next eight successive fixtures, too, and despite an acrimonious defeat to Acronius, qualified easily for World Cup 77. Wins over Electrum and Eastfield Lodge made up for defeat to Schottia; nothing spectacular, nothing flashy, but efficient, the best of Nephara under Shale.

It would end in ignominy.

Familiar names pepper the scoresheet. San Jose Guayabal still relied on many of the veterans from six years ago. Rodolfo Zelaya struck first, levelled by Estrella Hawke, the future Cormorants' record goalscorer, then Roddy Fraser put the Guayabalense back in front. Amokachi was sent off in the 39th minute. Konoval followed in the 50th. Incredibly, Nephara battled on with just a goal down into the 72nd minute, but the tension grew too much. Zelaya completed a hat-trick and Faña put the icing on the cake, a glorious and cathartic 5-1 win for the Guayabalense.

Shale, who ordinarily cut an amiable and charming figure, had usually framed defeats positively in terms of performance, but there was no coming back from this. He blasted the referee, the NFA battered by fines, but there wasn't heart to follow on in the media. Occam's razor suggested Nephara had simply lost their heads and collapsed, and that Shale had taken the Cormorants as far as he could, a manager forever defined not by what he had achieved - in the end, a third-place performance at the World Cup and a single regional trophy - but by unfulfilled promises, of legacy and destiny and dynasty.

So Nephara would limp on to the next regional tournament; not in Esportiva, this time, but in Rushmore. They would do so under new management, and they would do so hopeful that they were going to return to the glory they now saw as their birthright. Nobody in the nation suspected that Shale's reign would be seen as the tail end of a golden era, not as a blip; there would be further still to fall.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 4
Goalkeepers: 1 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 12 - Toxothea Sebring (Crisisbless), 20 - Chary Longstreet (CA Paulinthal, PAS)
Defenders: 2 - Solblindi Rake (Sabrefell Moths), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Vetta Roback (Sabrefell Athletic), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - Kyri Levering (Northern Union, BRE), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Ettard Mitteager (AFC Treason), 25 - Tanith Xu (Myana, CMT)
Midfielders: 4 - Cassander Southsea (Brinemouth), 8 - Renate March (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 15 - Demeter Constantine (Crisisbless), 19 - Chandra Rosziter (Dynamo Sjoedrhavn, SVJ), 23 - Kurtis Swainsona (Revolutionaries, EUR), 24 - Bellona Sebold (Crisisbless), 26 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 7 - Kestrel Anharbour (Crisisbless), 9 - Vasya Reisinger (West Cuono United, TMB), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 11 - Arachne Loeher (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 13 - Madita Brewer (Northern Union, BRE), 14 - Konrad Balmoral (Aries Chariots), 16 - Xanthe Hauser (Crossroads, CMT), 21 - Felixe Vetiver (1830 Cathair, AUD)

[size=75]95X 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 Caribbia
Ziwana 3 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 2 Baggieland
UBSA 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 1 TJUN
Savojarna vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Elmyia
Varavel vs. Nephara
Srednjaci vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit
Nephara vs. 95X
Caribbia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ziwana
Baggieland vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. UBSA
TJUN vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Savojarna
Elmyia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Varavel
Srednjaci vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit

by **Oberour Ar Moro** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 8:12 pm

Defense Minister Announces New Weapons System
By Felise de Rochechouart

In a speech at the Oberour Ar Moro Air Force Academy in Ercene Minister for Defense Turiau de l'Enfant addressed what he described as the "unconscionable furthering of threats within Rushmore". To respond to these threats, he announced Oberour Ar Moro had developed a new hypersonic weapon system that "can match or exceed a weapon from any other Rushmori nation".

From de l'Enfant's speech and from information provided by the Ministry of Defense Advanced Scientific Projects Initiative Committee (ASPIC), research into scramjet engines, air-breathing engines that use which air captured from the atmosphere to achieve sustained propulsion, had been ongoing for several years. ASPIC recently built a demonstration vehicle utilizing scramjet technologies that was built to meet test objectives, and the test exceeded them. The culmination of the ministry's MANIAC project, or Military, Air-Breathing, Next Generation, Integrated Active Cooling program is a hypersonic cruise engine capable of reach 25 times the speed of sound.

A hypersonic missile that can fly at this speed can be used as a kinetic energy weapon, while the maneuverability of such hypersonic cruise missiles allows both evasion of defenses and quick strikes. The greatest issue with scramjets is at a high enough speed it becomes to high a temperature to burn fuel, the aerodynamic drag forces become very high, and heating problems become severe, though ASPIC claims the issue has been resolved utilizing advanced additive manufacturing.

ASPIC claims that the conclusion of the MANIAC program was expedited and resolved over a year ahead of schedule. In his speech, Minister de l'Enfant stated that a scramjet weapon, which has been named Delphine, is expected to go into active service "immediately". The Minister tied the expedited conclusion of the MANIAC program to Eura's announcement of their ASM-52 hypersonic glide vehicle going into service.

"The Eurans make clear, over and over again, that they are warmongers seeking to forever grow their hegemony over Rushmore. Oberour Ar Moro has, since our very founding, from when Jean de la Charite and his compatriots swore their first oath to protect the innocent and combat wickedness, opposed such actions. And we will do so today, to protect every citizen in the Dominion".

Minister de l'Enfant also stated that Eura's actions threaten to start an arms race in Rushmore, up to and including a nuclear arms race. If this were the case, the Minister stated Oberour Ar Moro would compete to win. Said Minister de l'Enfant: "Oberour Ar Moro has brilliant men in our service, and partner contractors ready to build, and a driven will to succeed. For we cannot and will not fail."

by **Huayramarca** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 9:30 pm

A Day in the Life of: Gabriel Sayritupac

By Carlos Humala

Welcome to another episode of “A Day in the Life”. In the past two episodes, we have interviewed the present and future of Huayramarca, the promising Lucien Alszeghy and the iconic Bryan Tello from points of view unexpected by many, that’s the point of the series, to show the unknown face of our players, their daily life and past struggles that they’ve overcome to become the people they are now. This time, is the moment of showing Gabriel Sayritupac and, with his permission and will, one of the darkest moments of his life, how he managed to overcome it and carved his present through effort, dedication and a series of struggles that can be identifiable with many people across the multiverse.

El Sayri as he’s affectionally known by friends and fans alike, was born in the old Huayramarcan Metropolitan District, now known as Chuquiago, in September the 15^th of 1960, the 28-year-old player is one of the most iconic players in Huayramarcan history, being the only one who has won an IFCF-sanctioned competition with Athletik Thessia in Mytanija a couple of years ago, now a player of Shamrock Cathair in Audioslavia. This player has had his life carved through some of the most painful experiences since a child. Being born in the slums, Sayritupac was a vegetable carrier since age 8 at the Central Marketplace of Chuquiago; despite the difficulties he has experienced, his life got into a spiral of success after a dark moment, a spiral that seems unstoppable as his dedication is incombustible.

As he ended up lunching at the hotel in Lisander, hours prior the match of the Condors vs the Lisanderians, Sayritupac offered us a chance to talk with him and reveal some of his, until today, secret moments in life, in hopes of inspiring children to achieve their dreams as he is doing today. As we shook hands, Sayritupac offers me juice, which I can’t reject and accept, then I asked him "Gabriel” he says “Call me Sayri, everybody does it!” “Well, Sayri. Where did you grow up?” He says “I grew up at Ciudadela Divina, a slum located in the outskirts of Chuquiago. My parents had to struggle to provide me and my six siblings enough food, they recently moved from Tincopalca, a rural settlement seven to eight hours away from Chuquiago, in the deep centre of Huayramarca. We had to work in order to provide food for us, no matter if we were children, it was a situation of life or death.”

As I reflect on the situation, Sayri continued to talk “When I was six, I got told by my dad that I had to work at the Central Market, I first started by helping mom on a store, we were selling potatoes and other vegetables from Tincopalca, but it wasn’t enough to secure money for a decent living, so I got told to help carrying fruits and vegetables, as people would give generous tips to those carrying quite heavy loads.” I asked him “Did you studied during that moment?” Sayri said “I did, but I had no time to focus on homework, so I failed constantly, yet I tried to continue studying to learn some basics in life, you know, to be able of taking care by myself for a future.” He continued “I didn’t have spare time to talk or play with other children, I barely knew about football, and my interest wasn’t significant as I felt that it was a sport made for those sons of bourgeoise families or middle-income people… It was away from my precarious reality.”

But, if he had not any contact with the sport when a child, Sayritupac had to learn quite fast to be in pace with those of his age group. It might be a sight of a talented player who didn’t had any difficulties to learn the basics, put in practice his skills and build a strong set of abilities that have proven effective during his career, quite an interesting situation… “So, Sayri. When did you had your first contact with football.” He said “At 20. It was the first time a kicked a football, since I was either helping on market or I was found in the sidewalk of the streets after drinking lots of beer.” I took a moment and said “Wait, found in the sidewalk inebriated?” He said “Yes, as I had a side job and the payment I received were beers.”

“What was that said job?” Sayri replied “I was a carrier of beers for Cristal, which is the most important brewery of Huayramarca. My boss, as I was under the legal age, paid me in kind, with beer. I couldn’t have a contract, so money was ruled out as a method of payment. I Remember him telling me to sell the beers to receive money, which I accepted but ignored at the same time, as I was curious to taste beer.” I asked him “Your parents became aware of it?” He replied “Well… They were aware and tried to correct me, but I didn’t obey them, I continued drinking after being paid.” It was indeed a situation of addiction, a tough one for a young Sayri that tried to earn something for his family, but that the lack of self-control didn’t help him to avoid abusing of alcoholic drinks.”

“So, how did you start your football career?” Sayri said “My boss at Cristal invited me to create a team, it was for a friendly tournament sponsored by the brewery. I invited some friends at the Market and co-workers, we built the team and they decided to use me as a winger, as I had some force and speed, they noted it since I delivered those vegetables and beers quite fast.” He sipped some juice and said “We came out of nowhere, I turned to be the goal scorer, and the one who made the championship goal in the final. We won the tournament, and that was it.” “I continued to play some amateur football with my team Real Ebriedad, we were known for our antics of inebriating rivals by giving them beer instead of water when they asked for it, we were winning and that’s how some HFF personnel came to watch us play, they picked me for trials with the National Team.”

I had to ask “Inebriating the opponent, that’s for real?” Sayritupac got pale, he answered ashamed “Yes, that’s what I did when I was an addict.” Then he continued “I tested myself with the Huayramarcan National Team, the personnel tested us and I got positive in alcohol consumption, that’s when Rubén Condori, who was the assistant manager, came and told me ‘Look at me, Gabriel, we won’t take you out of the team because we notice you have a bright future, a significant talent for this game. You have got to promise me that you won’t drink alcohol anymore, if you do, I’ll kick you outta here!’ He was serious with it, as he constantly tested me to make sure I was ‘clean’.”

“What did make you change your attitude towards alcohol?” I asked, he replied “Well, I have always wanted to give my family the best, to change their life style and conditions for good through hard earned money. Also, the support that Rubén Condori provided me through the first days in the National Team, some good counselling and support from Abraham Mendoza, who motivated me to keep working hard because the reward would be something great.” They, and more people, helped me in this process, it took some time where I had internal battles, where I just wanted to drink and continue my life with lack of responsibilities and all, but the will to succeed was stronger than anything else, I continued.”

“Is there something you want to tell children or for the people in need, that has fell into a crisis of this kind?” Sayritupac said “Yes. Make your dreams come true, take advantage of any chance it might cross into your life, any positive companion or people that cares about you, listen to them! You’ll be pleased with them and with yourself after considering those suggestions and putting it into practice, life will change for good in a couple of months, be brave!” Then, I added “If Sayri can, everybody in the same situation can do it. Sayritupac is another Huayramarcan as you and me, no secrets or special ingredients, its only a matter of willpower to succeed and defeat the addiction to alcohol.”

“Now, about your career. How was your time at Tikariot?” was the next question, a polite Sayritupac came to shine with his words “You know what? I was still learning football, techniques, and also getting used to a different country, as I didn’t ever leave Huayramarca until that experience. It took me some time to adapt from Valnohar Rovers to Bul Khungur, I had a rather good season but injuries came, and relegation came for our team. I can say that Tikariot was a learning experience for me, I managed to grow up and get used to international football, I honed my skills and bolstered some extra set of adaptability techniques to make myself comfortable wherever I could go.”

“Define Thessia with only a word.” He answered “Glory.” He elaborated further “The call came after World Cup 90, we had a great performance, and some of the greatest scouts focused their spotlights on us, they helped me to go to Athletik Thessia. Adaptation was instantaneous, I was well received and I got confidence from the manager and colleagues, I could provide goals and some critical assistances in the path of winning a National Cup in Mytanija, and also for the IFCF Champions’ League. That was the biggest proof that it doesn’t matter your origin, it matters how you manage to sort out obstacles in life, your decisions and the people who is surrounding you, those who can help and be supportive when needed.”

“Why did you leave Athletik?” Sayri said “It was a surprise for me, as I was playing well and providing some good results for the team, but I got told that the team had some financial issues and needed to make some cash, selling me would be a great return for the investment they originally made. I agreed after negotiating the terms, as I understood the situation and, of course, I won’t put myself in a higher position than a club, specially in such a traditional and reputable team.”

“No bad feelings towards Thessia?” Sayri said “Of course, no bad feelings towards them. It was a serious negotiation, I was glad that I helped them to solve some of their financial issues, and for trusting me in the time I spent there. That IFCF, National Cup and the happy moments with the casual fans, ultras, and the city is something I’ll keep in my heart forever.” Then, I asked him “What’s your expectation now at Audioslavia?” He said “To work hard, to be relevant for the team and learn new things, something I can put into practice and help the team to be successful in the local league, and also, in international competitions.”

Knocks on the door, repeatedly, it was time for Sayri to leave and go to the technical staff conversation. It was time to prepare gameplan and strategy for an important match, so Huayramarca could continue within the pack of six teams contending for the first position. At the end, Huayramarca managed to achieve a victory with a lone goal of Ian Mamani, but Gabriel Sayritupac performed as good as always, with his talent and capability to pose a threat for his rivals, at any place and moment, Sayritupac will be able to fight and provide his team with the best options possible. A true fighter of life and football, one who has come from the rock bottom and has surged to be an excellent and reliable footballer and person.

by **Cardenao** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 9:47 pm

It had been a peaceful day and now two friends quietly fished as the sun set on Cardenao.

Juanma Saez and Haritz Larrainzar, two friends, two teammates for the Cardenao national football team, and two rivals in the Tikariot Premier League. They were the stars the entire national team was built around, and for good reason. 120 goals scored or assisted between the two of them, a league title, two B Team of the Year awards, two A Team of the Year awards. Not bad for a couple of lads from Cardenao who had spent their youths………

Fishing.

It, along with football and smoking pot with friends, was the national pastime of Cardenao. Everybody fished, everyone started at a young age, it was part of the way of life and what it meant to be Cardenaoan. So now these two men did what any self-respecting adult would do and brought a 12 pack with them to the country’s shore, the pair opted to venture out to East Cardenao. The benefits of being well-paid professional athletes at work, but the equipment they used belayed that wealth as they opted for simple fishing rigs, no fancy or complicated technology.

Harritz: “Not the worst day?”

Juanma: “Not the best either. No fish.”

“Not yet. Kinda like your goals this season!”

“Okkkkkay alright so we’re gonna do this shit man? I’ve got one less then you AND as many assists Mr. Playmaking mans.”

“I’m just saying…”

“How many goals are you responsible for?”

“What?”

“How many fucking goals are you responsible for, for Port Rhovanyon all the time you’ve been there?”

“Uhhh I don’t know boss I don’t really keep track of that stuff so-”

“It’s 55. I keep track of it, and it’s 55. You’ve scored or assisted 55 in 78 games for them. You know how many I’ve got? 65 in 83. So cut the goal scoring crap unless you can assist me with some fishes.”

“Alright sheesh man I was just having some fun!”

“Yeah well……I’m sorry. I’m stressing out about the game against Mertagne.”

“We haven’t even played them yet! Why you worried brother?

“Why am I worried? Why am I worried!? It’s the World Cup man. We haven’t done shit yet, never qualified, we’ve not gotten on the best this World Cup, I’m still pissed about the Under-18s getting knocked out, I’m just sick of this shit.”

“My mannnn. You gotta relax!”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re always big chilling, doing Haritz Larrainzar things, never a worry in the world!”

Haritz looked back at him with a smile on his face, “Exxxactly! We’re gonna win or we’re gonna lose. That’s how the game goes.”

“What about draws?”

“My brother, fuck draws. We either win…or lose. And that’s okay! That is sport! Here we are out here having a good time. Everything is good in our lives? What pain could there possibly be?”

((OOC: Mihaly is NOT bald but the AI-Fu was difficult to nail down here))

When Mihaly got the news, he had simply hung up the phone and walked through the Palace of Tears.

He leaned over, braced himself, and felt sheer agony break through him.

His great friend, Omugabe Ssekamanya, was missing and presumed dead in a plane crash.

It was rare that Mihaly found someone he enjoyed, let alone liked enough to consider a friend. Ssekamanya was one of his closest confidants, with the two constantly in communication. The two had forged a friendship that would change the world, Mihaly had been a groomsmen in Ssekamanya’s wedding to Muirne, the pair had been close since the first day.

And now Ssekamanya was gone. Mihaly hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye.

Mihaly looked over the Iceethe Sea and the land of Cardenao, all that he owned with the sun setting in the most beautiful of colors and cried.

by **Guanacasteca** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 9:52 pm

David Alpízar received the latest news, it all came from the North Province, it wasn’t like he was expecting to read. “Military forces kill 255 people in a bloody day of protests near Estelí” He facepalmed and thought that it was a bad idea to call people to protest outside the army checkpoints and barracks “What I was thinking about? Fuck…” he lamented, as the sound of guns and mortars were listened outside the bunker, he, and his staff, was using as a shelter in case the military decided to attack him and his contour.” He asked “Now, what we shall do? there’s a bloodbath and a civil war already. I didn’t want to go this far.” Dayana, one of the assistants said “Of course the military won’t be sitting there with crossed arms, they will fight for what they think it belongs to them.”

“What they think it belongs to them…” The words made an echo in the mind of Alpízar, he recognised that they had a purpose like the Guanacastecan people also had, but with freedom. A clash of some of the most basic yet powerful reasons, freedom against power, progress vs tradition, future vs past. Dayana added “You might consider it is already the time to buy some weaponry, or rob it, and use it against the army. That’s the way we will seize control of our nation, that’s how we will deserve true freedom, fighting for it, sacrificing some sons for the future of the motherland.” Alpízar received a phone call, from an unknown number, he handed the phone to Dayana, she answered and listened to a voice “Mr President, I got your number as the army provided it to some of us. I defected the Republic, or what it is left of it, after attacking the headquarters yesterday. I’m hiding in the forests of Nyowani Kitara and preparing attacks with ammunition that I can smuggle from here.”

Alpízar was doubting about the legitimacy, until he cited the identification number of the aircraft he used “RG-FA025”, Alpízar was now interested about the information, and answered “But what shall we do? we’re not too organised to conduct attacks.” The pilot said “That’s our Achilles heel, we need to be organised, compact and disciplined in order to beat the army in this war for freedom. Let’s unite the people into Freedom Units (battalions), ask them to move near the border with Nyowani Kitara, send them to León” For starters, León is a border post of the República Guanacasteca with Kitara, a place where weapon smuggling could be feasible due to the abundance of forests and swamps in the zone, which could serve as refuge for rebel forces.

“The plan is this: Let’s smuggle the weapons, then coordinate attacks on Estelí and other cities such as Diriamba, Carazo, Granada, etc. We need to kill those pigs, and the Kitarans have the right equipment to provide us… I have found some hidden weaponry from the war here; guns are working as expected and can be used for combat without any issue.” Alpízar asked “You sure about it?” the pilot said “Of course, I’m not joking.” Once the news breaks out, a time was scheduled to proceed with the smuggling operation “Let’s do it in a week, at midnight. I’ll light pyro, that’s how people should recognise me and grab guns to defend freedom.” Alpízar said “Freedom or death, we will conquer and slaughter those corrupt souls.”

Now, Alpízar smiled in relief, but then said “Let’s organise people. Everyone of us, let’s go to every village in the Southern Province in order to convince people to take part of the liberation effort, let’s make them march towards León for supplies, then, pick the guns and ammunition. Everybody will be spared of crimes, there’s authorisation to kill military guards at sight, unless they surrender and join our forces. If they decide to join, make them seize equipment and tanks, so our victory can be swift and strong. Also, let’s issue bounties for Arellano and the rest of plagues of the army. Every head chopped from a military officer shall be rewarded, that’s how freedom will prevail in Guanacasteca, by spreading the impure blood out of our nation.”

Dayana then added “It’s time to clean the mess.”

by **Tikariot** » Mon Feb 13, 2023 10:25 pm

Kelvin McDonnell: Good evening Tikariot and welcome to TBC News, I'm Kelvin McDonnell.

Lovisa Bergstrandh: And standing in for Alexandra Garrard, I'm Lovisa Bergstrandh. In the news tonight, a shocking revelation after the Soharr Landslide, the aftermath of the Xark Blizzard.

Kelvin McDonnell: The signing of the CIAASIT Treaty between Tikariot and Cardenao is official in Port Rhovanyon. And in sports, matches five and six of the World Cup 93 are in the books.

Lovisa Bergstrandh: News from Western Soharr, where relief efforts are still ongoing after the landslide. TBC correspondent Anita Freley with more.

TEMA (Tikariot Emergency Management Agency) reports that the Græntfjaller White Rats specialist emergency response team, together with the Gnejsan dog teams have managed to rescue 35 people from collapsed buildings buried under the mud that had slid off a mountain just above Wenford. Unfortunately 25 more residents could only be dug from the debris dead, raising the victim count to 325. There also have been reports about the landslide revealing the entrance to a previously unknown cave or cave system.

While immediately rumours about the cave and its contents have sparked on various social media sites, all focus is on the rescue efforts for the time being. TEMA has also issued a warning to any adventurers trying to come to Western Soharr to explore the cave that the area is not secure and further landslides cannot be ruled out. They also report that the Tikariotian military has taken up positions at the cave entrance to guard it against any potential trespassers.

Lovisa Bergstrandh: Also, news from Xanark, where the Xark Blizzard, as it has been named, has finally let up and has left a white wasteland behind. Heavy snowfall and gale-force winds had brought over 50 centimetres of snow and has caused widespread power outages.

Airports and roads are still closed throughout the whole region while TEMA emergency crews and the Græntfjall Red Cross are working on restoring power and getting supplies to residents cut off.

Kelvin McDonnell: In politics, Cardenao and Tikariot have officially signed the CIAASIT Treaty that covers services of the Tikariot Intelligence Service for Cardenao and provisions for shared intelligence. Tikariotian prime minister Roderick Armitage and his Cardenaoan counterpart President Mihaly Otamendi have put their signatures under the groundbreaking treaty in Port Rhovanyon today.

Lovisa Bergstrandh: Tikariot is continuing on its path to, hopefully, Chromatika and Tumbra with games against Raspotochje and Oscioru. For more information, over to the TBC Sports studio with Alistair McIntosh.

Alistair McIntosh: Thanks, Lovisa, and good evening ladies and gentlemen from TBC Sports! Matchdays five and six are in the books in the World Cup 93 qualification and saw Tikariot kicking off the long weekend with a trip to Raspotochje. Here is Duncan Haldane with the highlights.

The Snowy Owls travelled to Raspotochje for their fifth game in the qualifying campaign and it was an exciting affair, if not all for the right reasons. The hosts, driven on by a 54,600-spectator sellout crown in the Kotiga Arena, surprised our team with a very offensive approach and immediate pressure. After only eight minutes, midfielder Mladen Robulović circled a sharp diagonal pass to the edge of the Tikariot box and Ivan Gero did not take any prisoners and fired off a volley that struck the post past Mathias Prediger's outstretched hand and into the goal to bring an early lead to Raspotochje. This put a big dent to the Tikariotian buildup game, because the Snowy Owls showed very unusual sloppiness in their game following the goal and did not manage to get themselves sorted, which led to Robulović taking advantage of an intercepted pass attempt by Maxwell Lambert and setting off on a romp through Tikariot's midfield before slotting the ball right between Santeri Matinpalo and Leah Robbins to a completely uncovered Pavao Kerović who was able to slot the ball right past Prediger to make it 2-0 after not even half an hour.

Brian McAllister was visibly unhappy and read the team the riot act, which seems to have woken up the team, because they began to increase the pressure on Raspotochje, with Crimsonhawke midfield dynamo Johanna Spiteri taking over the reins and calming down her teammates. Her steadying hand started to bear fruit soon enough as the passes became more focused and only a few minutes before halftime a lofted pass by Spiteri found the head of Matinpalo, who rose above the Raspotochje defense, laying it off to Hamish Stainthorpe, who was able to convert from close range, halving the hosts' lead.

The second half then saw Tikariot putting up a powerplay-like formation, putting immense pressure, which also was part to two of the substitutions McAllister made, with Anders Skogensberg replacing Gethin Stewart and Victoria Thesselborg coming on for Ixtlilxochitl. It was especially Thesselborg who would play a crucial role in the game, turning the table within just three minutes. In the 66th minute, Gary Conway powered his way through the Raspotochje defense, but instead of shooting himself he saw Thesselborg free near the penalty spot, pushing the ball to her, who did not hesitate and blasted the ball right between the legs of Vladimir Donskoy. Only two minutes after, it was Skogensberg who went on a marauding run down the left side and whipped in a high cross curling away from the goal, finding Thesselborg's head, who managed to direct the ball onto goal against the movement of Donskoy, netting the winning goal. After this, the Snowy Owl slowed things down a bit and the only bit of excitement came in the 90th minute when subbed-on Jardel Connolly was sent off with a second yellow card after pulling the jersey of Vesmar Trotsky, who otherwise would have been through.

Raspotochje 2-3 Tikariot
8' 1-0 Ivan Gero (A: Mladen Robulović)
29' 2-0 Pavao Kerović (A: Mladen Robulović)
40' 2-1 Hamish Stainthorpe (A: Santeri Matinpalo)
66' 2-2 Victoria Thesselborg (A: Gary Conway)
68' 2-3 Victoria Thesselborg (A: Anders Skogensberg)

| Donskoy - Makić, Kerović ( 53' Antić), Matić, Konopkina ( 56' Dropulić) - Robulović 28', Huilin ( 88' Patoković) - Gero, Gerulić ( 59' Urdić), Gerotić 5', Kiltić 5' ( 88' Trotsky)

| Prediger - Stewart ( 47' Skogensberg), Steingrímsson 81', Matinpalo 5' ( 60' Szomogyi), Robbins - Sedar, Spiteri, Lambert 10' ( 49' Baines) - Ixtlilxochitl ( 55' Thesselborg), Conway ( 73' Connolly 90'), Stainthorpe

Alistair McIntosh: Next up, all eyes were on Ceramadhion for our next home game against Oscioru. Anthony Throckmorton with the details.

43,000 fans filled Lamarr Field in Ceramadhion to the rafters for Tikariot's first ever game against Oscioru, who had started the campaign with a deluge of goals on both ends of the pitch. And in what seems to become a tradition for Tikariot the Snowy Owls once more conceded an early first goal. Only five minutes into the match, striker Grégory Zapatero struck the goal post from a very tight ankle and Asdrúbal Rosário was able to react faster than the Tikariotian defense, pushing the ball over the line for an early lead. As opposed to the Raspotochje game, however, the black and burgundy immediately reacted and increased the pressure, which bore fruit only six minutes after when Easton Aird took aim from almost 25 metres out, forcing Joël Franco into an outstanding save at full stretch. The ball fell to Morris Nighthorse, who quickly pushed it past Barthélémy Vale to Adrian Grimaud, who in best poacher style redirected the ball across the line for a quick equalizer. But Tikariot did not stop there. Quebec-based Jean-Aniel Sirois initiated a counter attack in the 33rd minute with a long, diagonal pass that reached Nighthorse. Using his speed and technique he somehow managed to get the ball past two Oscioru defenders before slicing the ball towards the far post where Theodor Armitage used his physique to push his defender to the side and nodding the ball into the net for the 2-1 lead. Three minutes after the goal, Brian Merson save his defense's hide when he was able to compensate for an error by Walter Thomas 30 metres out of his goal with a perfectly timed sliding tackle that if it had gone wrong would either have seen him getting sent off or Lapo Belloni on his way toward an empty goal.

The second half then began almost identical to the first, with Oscioru getting the better start. Romualdo Costantini with a quick one-two pass with Asdrúbal Rosário saw the Universidad de Dronghi pull into the box and take aim at the near post, slotting the ball right between Brian Merson's leg and the post to pull the game even again. And again similar to the first half, it did not take long for Tikariot to respond. A corner by Þorgríma Vigdis was headed toward goal by Dominic Eovaldi, but the ball careened off the crossbar. It fell to Armitage, who has been on a romp in the TPL as well after returning from injury with an astounding seven goals in two matches, and he went for broke, unleashing a shot from hell that Franco still managed to get a hand on, but the power was too strong to see a deflection, bringing the lead to the Snowy Owls once more. Franco actually had to be treated for two minutes after immediately signalling that he had hurt his wrist in the process.

Tikariot then began to save energy a bit by maintaining a higher line, but with a less relentless gegenpressing, which allowed Oscioru some shots on goal, but Brian Merson proced once more why he has been the undisputed number one in the Tikariot goal for years now. The final proverbial nail in the equally proverbial coffin came after 64 minutes when Dominic Eovaldi scored the fourth goal after an indirect freekick by Easton Aird. After this, Oscioru's offensive attempts began to wane, allowing for the black and burgundy to take the foot off the gas as well and comfortably play down the remaining time without any threats to their goal.

Tikariot 4-2 Oscioru
5' 0-1 Asdrúbal Rosário (A: Grégory Zapatero)
11' 1-1 Adrian Grimaud (A: Morris Nighthorse)
33' 2-1 Theodor Armitage (A: Morris Nighthorse)
49' 2-2 Asdrúbal Rosário (A: Romualdo Costantini)
51' 3-2 Theodor Armitage (A: Dominic Eovaldi)
64' 4-2 Dominic Eovaldi (A: Easton Aird)

| Merson - Sirois 59', Thomas ( 47' Jepson), Eovaldi 77', Yates ( 71' Arncross) - Aird, Þorgríma Vigdis ( 83' Chamberlain), Vainionpää ( 53' Davies) - Nighthorse, Armitage ( 70' Conway), Grimaud

| Franco - Antúnez, Bernard ( 60' Fèvre), Vale ( 59' Ferreira) - Costantini ( 84' Abel), Belloni ( 67' Abreu), Nespola, Rosário - Bonhomme 52', Zapatero, Côté 17' ( 80' Bosch)

Alistair McIntosh: With five wins and one draw after six games, Tikariot continue to be without a loss, one point behind group favourites Turori. The next two games will see the Snowy Owls face off against Atheara and then the Commonwealth of Baker Park in the iconic Mountain Fortress of Oriannor. Back to you Kelvin.

Kelvin McDonnell: Thank you, Alistair. That's it for this edition of TBC News, make sure to stay tuned in for more news on the Soharrian landslide relief efforts.

OOC Disclaimer: Stadiums and news graphics have been made with Midjourney. The TBC logos are my creation.

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