The 83rd Cup of Harmony — Roster/RP/Scores Thread

[Wreckeria]

BISCUIT ARRESTED FOLLOWING AIRPORT VENDING MACHINE INCIDENT

By Becky Simpson, the Halsted Tribune

CONYERS – Michael “Biscuit” Gilbert was arrested by Hapilopper City Police today after an incident involving a vending machine just before he was scheduled to board a Hapilopper Airlines flight to Mertagne.

According to police reports, Gilbert attempted to purchase a soft drink from a Fresh Cola vending machine, but the machine reportedly did not dispense a soft drink, despite receiving payment.

Witnesses state that Gilbert then walked across the room, told onlookers that he was going to “get a running start and go all Nathan Ellis on this thing”, and then did exactly that, ran towards the vending machine before giving it a high kick, going right through the machine with his feet.

The glass broke on the vending machine and Gilbert was able to receive his drink, but was soon apprehended afterwards by Hapilopper City Police.

As a result, Gilbert was unable to travel with Marvin Byrnes, head coach of the Independent Wreckerian Athletes, to Mertagne for the group draw.

Gilbert was released from jail on his own recognizance later that day and took a later flight to Mertagne, but Byrnes has suspended Gilbert for the first game of the Cup of Harmony.

“Be on your best behavior”

The behavior of the Independent Wreckerian Athletes, much more so than during the World Cup qualifiers, is under a microscope both among officials with the team and the Hapiloppian government, largely due to the fact that the team will be competing in Mertagne, a member nation of a region officially referred to by the Hapiloppian government, as well as the media, as “the subregion.”

Officially, that region is known as “Anaia,” and is not officially recognized as an independent region by Hapilopper due to the manner in which the region was founded.

Because the Hapiloppian government viewed that action as “a hostile act,” the Hapiloppian government mandates a team competing there to bring protection. For the Independent Wreckerian Athletes, it comes in the form of the Hapilopper City Police’s SCUM Unit.

“We just want to make sure our citizens are OK,” said Jerry Richards, Chief of the Hapilopper City Police. “We have no indication that there is any sort of threat against the Wreckerians, nor do we have any indication that a subregion loyalist would attempt something. But we just want to make sure they can get back to this part of Atlantian Oceania in one piece.”

In addition, Marvin Byrnes, head coach of the Independent Wreckerian Athletes, told the Halsted Tribune that he has drilled one point home with his players, more than anything else.

“Be on your best behavior,” Byrnes said. “Be on your best behavior. We don’t want to start an international incident because one of our players did something stupid, and as a nation from Atlantian Oceania, we’ve been told that our actions are under further scrutiny there in the subregion.”

Byrnes said that he will have “zero tolerance” for any misbehavior while his team is in Mertagne.

“I don’t like acting like this because I like having fun with my team just as much as they do, but we can not misbehave in Mertagne,” Byrnes said. “We’re going to suspend any player on their first offense for the rest of the Cup of Harmony.”

[Efnakia]

TIME FOR ANOTHER RUN
Dumo hom Ccahor miss World Cup, enter Cup of Harmony

DANNIN, Dannmarsh, Mertagne – The Blue and Golds slumped after a decent start to finish 8th in their World Cup Qualification group, and accepted an invite from the hosts of the 83rd Cup of Harmony, hosted in Mertagne and Tumbra.

The Efnak national team did little more than meet expectations in World Cup Qualifying – coming from Pot 9 after the excellent Baptism of Fire campaign, the side eventually finishing 8th, with notable scalps being taken from Brookstation and Sargossa, marked a sound campaign for the Blue and Golds, which earned them an invite from the hosts of the Cup of Harmony, a tournament for teams who failing to qualify for the World Cup. Efnakia has been drawn in Group F of the tournament, held in Eastern Mertagne, and comprised of Eraman, Sargossa (both also from Group 12 of World Cup Qualifying), Gortolekua (who were eliminated by Aleirave, the Baptism of Fire victor, in the other semi-final of that tournament), Savojarna, Bollonich and Kelssek, the highest-ranked team in the group at #28 in the KPB world rankings.

With Efnakia being in Group F, the team’s group stage games will take place in Eastern Mertagne, with three stadiums being selected for the group play. The largest, and host of Efnakia’s second and fifth group stage games, is Flynn Ar3na in New Fligsive, with a capacity of almost 90,000 and featuring thousands of faceless statues, associated with memorial for an apparently horrific event, the details of which the writers at this newspaper are entirely unaware of, but, again, which seems extremely tragic. The second largest, and host of Efnakia’s first and last group stage games, is Nine Star Arch in Webster, which, rather straight-forwardly, has an arch with nine large spotlights, lit up to provide a massive scoreboard (though with the limitation that the highest score that it can display is 5 to 4, which is simple enough to the point of already having occurred twice in the World Cup 91 group stage that kicked off mere hours ago) – the “host information” we have been provided describes the idea of “capturing the arch”, or scoring five goals in a game, which is a strange concept, because, well, why would anyone need to score five goals? The smallest, and also coolest, of the three is New Brazier Stadium in Scharfwick, home to, unsurprisingly, braziers (these Mertganians are not the most creative with their stadium names, are they), which shoot fire into the sky. This is both extremely cool and a welcome change, given that the last stadium involving fire that the Efnak national team played in, La Fantás in Farfadillis, less “had fire in it” and more “was on fire”, though we suppose the distinction is entirely semantic.

Out of the teams that the Blue and Golds are set to face, none ended up making the playoffs of World Cup Qualifying, with Kelssek, Eraman, and Bollonich finishing 4th in their groups, Sargossa finishing 5th, Gortolekua finishing 6th and Savojarna finishing 8th, the same position as the Blue and Golds in their group. The first two teams on the schedule are the ones already familiar with the Dumo hom Ccahor, as the side played Eraman and Sargossa in qualification, playing them in Webster and New Fligsive respectively, before two matches in Scharfwick against Gortolekua and Kelssek, with the group stage ending against Savojarna and Bollonich in mirrored stadiums to the first two matchdays. While not officially signed, it is all but certain that manager Tutsem Katemabffu will have his job for at least another cycle, with results in this Cup of Harmony only serving to boost his status in the event of a good performance in the tournament. As always, Hok Efnakia!

Thanks, dear reader! Buccoss kal, medunffob kasal! Ccam son ccamol teb he kem Efnak-asske bef bet’ tem ssa.

Ccam son omol ohaskof he al onka asske faf kem mat' ass kem Onka Ssaddo Loksob (Ssufuta hom Kodam) 395. Ccam ssal-lak ccamol omabu he Efnakia hom ccamol an Efnak ssaccess "memekmab mef".

"Thanks dear reader! You can find this article in Efnak on our site here. This article was written in a foreign language under the guidelines of the National Oversight Act (Safety and Security) 395. This newspaper is based in Efnakia and is on the list of Efnak government 'trusted sources'."

[Chromatika]

Playoff Leg 2: Chromatika 1–1 Zeta Reka & Hügeltaldom (2–2 AET, 4–5 pen.)
Goals: Kuznetsov 13', Gainsbourg 102'
Shootout:

Chromatika    Score?    Zeta Reka      Score?
Gainsbourg    Y         Rawić          N (1-0)
Kuznetsov     Y         Rekawić        Y (2-1)
Hauser        Y         Zup            Y (3-2)
Kruetzberg    N         Scwartzhammer  Y (3-3)
B. Fillar     Y         Gabrielstein   Y (4-4)
Ighv          N         Wendschuch     Y (4-5)

Starting XI: (4-1-4-1) - Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - de Aea - Anbient - Ighv; Zuniga; Wen - Hauser - Fillar, B. - Kuznetsov; Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Régine -> Anbient (52'), De Saint-Pierre -> Fillar, G. (73'), Larriet-Cortes -> Zuniga, (84'), Kruetzberg -> Wen (108')

---

Cup of Harmony 82 Matchday 1: Chromatika vs. Baggieland @ Fletcher Park, Kingsbury, Georgia, Tumbra (45,000)
Predicted Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) - Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - de Aea - Anbient - Ighv; Zuniga - Larriet-Cortes; Kruetzberg - Hauser - Kuznetsov; Killian.
Reserves: GK Kathie Begley, GK Lorée Bautista, RB Raul Vitan, CB Klavida Régine, CB Moira Ansov, LB Ipati Aimée, RW Martha Baum, AM Baillaire Fillar, DM Mare Si, AM Alissar Phoen, LW Edith Fillar, ST Kara Oveni

The Opposition

2. TJUN-ia (34)
Record: 2-0-0, 6 GF, 3 GA, +3 GD
WC 86 Playoff, 1st Leg - TJUN-ia 1-2 Chromatika
WC 86 Playoff, 2nd Leg - Chromatika 4-3 TJUN-ia
Qualifying Record: 3rd Group 9, 12-2-6, 38 Points, 45 GF, 28 GA, +17 GD - Lost to Zwangzug 1-4 in Playoff (0-0, 1-4)
Matchday: Matchday 7
The Lowdown: TJUN-ia will still be smarting after those playoffs five cycles ago - and they're a balanced team like the Chromatiks with a fairly decent Goal Differential. After losing to Zwangzug in the second leg, TJUN-ia will be looking to get off to a hot start like the Chromatiks. Thankfully, by the time that they play each other, both teams should have clinched their spot in the Playoffs and just be jockeying for position.

3. HUElavia (48)
Record: 3-3-0, 17 GF, 10 GA, +7 GD
WC 76 Qualifying, MD04: HUElavia 1-4 Chromatika
WC 76 Qualifying, MD11: Chromatika 5-2 HUElavia
WC 77 Qualifying, MD06: HUElavia 2-2 Chromatika
WC 77 Qualifying, MD15: Chromatika 3-2 HUElavia
WC 92 Qualifying, MD01: HUElavia 0-0 Chromatika
WC 92 Qualifying, MD12: Chromatika 3-3 HUElavia
Qualifying Record: 4th Group 11, 10-6-4, 36 Points, 51 GF, 31 GA, +20 GD
Matchday: 2
The Lowdown: Despite drawing twice in the Qualifying Campaign, Chromatika has still yet to lose to HUElavia, something that they will be trying to overcome. With the highest Goal Differential of this group during Qualifying, the HUElavians have a potent offense. These teams have already played each other twice; the third will be a rubber match and a chance for one of them to finally get the upper leg on the other. The fact that it's on Matchday 2 means that they'll be able to set the tone if they prevail.

4. Astograth (66)
Record: 1-0-0, 2 GF, 0 GA, +2 GD
CoH 82 Round of 32: Chromatika 2-0 Astograth
Qualifying Record: 3rd Group 13, 11-2-7, 35 Points, 41 GF, 33 GA, +8 GD - Lost to Hapilopper 4-5 in Playoff (2-1, 2-4)
Matchday: 4
The Lowdown: The only matchup between Chromatika and Astograth was in the last Cup of Harmony, where the Anomalies won two-nil, Juxon Fillar shining. Astograth will be looking for revenge after barely losing to Hapilopper in the Playoffs. They're not a team to be overlooked at all... With the game against them happening right at the halfway point, it'll likely set the tone for how the team finishes the long Group Stage.

5. Soldera (76)
Record: First Meeting
Qualifying Record: 5th Group 7, 9-7-4, 34 Points, 35 GF, 22 GA, +13 GD
Matchday: 3
The Lowdown: The first meeting against the Snakes on the pitch, but Soldera and Chromatika have played each other in the WBC, and it's time for revenge. Chromatika did drop some points to lower ranked teams in Qualifying, so they'll need to keep their concentration.

6. Baggieland (106)
Record: First Meeting
Qualifying Record: 5th Group 15, 9-6-5, 33 Points, 41 GF, 33 GA, +8 GD
Matchday: 1
The Lowdown: Baggieland has to be the sacrificial lamb to start the Group Stage for the Anomalies in their attempt to defend the Cup of Harmony title. They do have an opportunistic attack, though, so the defense must pay attention.

7. Kuraita (142)
Record: First Meeting
Qualifying Record: 7th Group 8, 7-4-9, 25 Points, 30 GF, 40 GA, -10 GD
Matchday: 6
The Lowdown: The lowest ranked team i the group, and the only team to finish with a negative goal differential during Qualifying. An opportunity for the Anomalies to rest their starters before the important game against TJUN-ia, Kuraita will be the quintessential trap game.

---

The Players

Emilie Kruetzberg instead of Wen Xhose and Hank Killian instead of Alicia Gainsbourg, the Anomalies continue to get younger and younger as they continue to falter during Qualifying. It's the second Cup of Harmony in a row with all four Fillars in the final 23, with the ability for Baillaire and Edith to come in as needed - though Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov's presence cannot be denied. Raul Vitan being the backup Right Back is probably not a commonplace thing with so many prospects waiting in the wings, while Klavida Régine and Moira Ansov have established themselves as Chromatika's second pair.

The biggest question is the mentality of the players. Losing via penalty kicks is rough, but to have it happen during the Playoffs to qualify for the World Cup is the worst. To have it happen at home? A nightmare. Whether it be Ha'nei Ighv and Emilie Kruetzberg that missed the kicks, or Juxon Fillar that failed to make the saves, it's a rough time for the Anomalies players in general. If they win the Cup of Harmony again, history will only remember them as the team that could've done so much better had they just qualified; make it pretty far, and it's still a wasted cycle, and don't qualify at all, and it's an unmitigated disaster. There is no way to save this cycle, it's only a matter of pride.

---

The Manager

It's been an age of Chromatik football since Lisa Amos was in charge of the Anomalies. Last time around, Chromatika was just becoming a recognized name in the world; now, she steps in in the midst of a disaster. Amos is a soft-spoken, player-oriented Manager who believes in strategy along with a focus on every piece's strengths; she may be the exact piece that the team needed to step in.

Shelby Aarling, the Media Coordinator, has been chosen to handle all Press Conferences during the Cup of Harmony, and Lisa Amos has already stated she will not be the Anomalies' Manager in the next cycle. This is an emergency substitution, and they're lucky to have her at call at all.

[Pluvia and the Saxean Isles]

In Cup of Death, did Magpies get off lightly in Group D?

Christopher Teschner, Marienburg Herald

Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, faced with the slimmest of hopes of qualifying for the World 91 playoffs, unsurprisingly failed to do so. A 3-2 loss to Mercedini guaranteed their knockout, so the excitement of a 2-2 draw against Nephara was lessened both by the meaninglessness of the game and the B squad Nephara sent to Marienburg. The Magpies ended up finishing a disappointing seventh after being fourth with two games to play. Such is the life of a mid-tier team in a competitive group. They did, however, earn a berth in the consolation Cup of Harmony, which the Magpies have played in several times before, but only achieved success in three cycles ago, reaching the knockout phase. This year, however, there's plenty of evidence to suggest that it will be much more difficult to make the knockouts, with midfielder Austin Davies half-jokingly, half-seriously calling it a "Cup of Death."

First off, take the top seeds. The World Cup, theoretically, features the top 32 teams in the multiverse. However, nine of the top 32 teams in the world have somehow ended up in the Cup of Harmony. This includes #7 Cassadaigua and #8 Audioslavia, with additional juggernauts like Eura and Starblaydia joining the consolation competition as well. But the list goes on; bluebloods like Chromatika, Electrum, Krytenia, Tikariot, Yuezhou, Savojarna, and HUElavia feature prominently. The Magpies, while a respectable 82nd in the world, are only the 39th best team in the competition. But there are plenty of quality sides below them; Indusse, Srednjaci, Gortolekua, and former groupmates Tjorl, to name but a few. Yes, the depth of this competition is likely unsurpassed in CoH history; from top to bottom, there's not an easy match in the group. One only has to look at Group C, in Tumbra, which got a lot of buzz. Headed by a Chromatik team that is always a World Cup contender, and containing TJUN-ia, HUElavia, and Astograth among traditional powers, but also containing the fast-rising Soldera (who humiliated the Magpies last cycle) and Kuraita, along with the never-to-be-underestimated Baggieland. Group E features a mini-Anaia reunion, with Krytenia, the Ochre Islands, Mertagne, and Cardenao, while Group G has a Rushmori flavor, with Srednjaci, Oberour ar Moro, Ceni, and Tikariot. It could be a bloodbath in several groups. But what about the Magpies?

The Magpies were sent to Esportivan host Tumbra and placed in Group D. Their groupmates are Eura, Electrum, Milchama, Ranoria, Garifunya, and Tjorl again. While not the most "Group of Death"-esque group, it is still the "Cup of Death", in Davies' words, and manager Laurent Chambéry will have his work cut out for him.

Take Rushmori powerhouses and World Cup winners Eura and Electrum. One has to be quite surprised that the Eurans did not make the World Cup outright, or even in the playoffs. But, clinging to a one-point edge over Brenecia going into the final matchday, they collapsed 2-0 at regionmates Srednjaci, while the Ashburn^TM Patriots hung on to defeat Omerica 1-0 at home. After a 4-2 road win over Delaclava in the first round of the playoffs, it looked Eura had things well and truly sewn up. However, the Phoenixes returned the favor with a 4-2 win in Bastion, then won 5-4 in the ensuing penalty shootout. This gut-wrenching experience of losing twice right at the end has to have the Eurans hopping mad, and likely to destroy anything in their path. As for Electrum, despite defeating Cassadaigua in their final qualifying game and finishing on a strong 44 points, they were still one short of Huayramarca and two short of Sarzonia, with both teams still having a final game. This meant they were ticketed for the playoffs, where they played the Squornshelan Remnant States to a 0-0 draw in Electrum, followed by a 1-0 loss away in Atlantian Oceania. While not quite as hopping mad as the Eurans, the Electrumites do have a World Cup tradition and are likely eager to prove they would have done just as well in the World Cup.

Both of those games are likely losses, which brings us next into the "At least the Magpies can be competitive" portion of the schedule, 50th-ranked Milchama and 71st-ranked Ranoria. Milchama, while an ancient nation, has been known much more for success in baseball rather than football, but upon return to the football scene, has rocketed up the rankings. They needed wins in their last two games, over Sargossa and Brookstation, to finish in a surely-disappointing sixth, in fact two points behind what the Magpies achieved. Obviously a dangerous team that had a down cycle, here Laurent Chambéry will have to make sure his squad do not become overconfident. The key here will be to effectively use the midfield to guard against the Milchamans' 3-3-4, which without modification, would overwhelm the Magpies' three-at-the-back defensive array. Also in the "winnable with the proper care" category is Ranoria. The nation is better known for their success in gridiron as the Krauts, both at the university and professional level, but they obviously have not neglected football as well. Ranoria finished fifth in their group, never really in contention behind the juggernauts of Baker Park and the inexplicably successful Jeruselem, but it doesn't mean they were pushovers. They were remarkably consistent in both halves (16 points), and conceded a mere 1.0 goals/game. The Snow Bears play a 4-3-3, odd for an ultra-defensive team, but gridiron kicker Barry Chlorid will serve as a two-sport star in the principal striker role, with Felix Graf and Glenn Helmine as wings. The Magpies' back three should be able to contain Chlorid, so the real battle will be in the midfield, where the Magpies' five midfielders will simultaneously be tasked with tying up Graf and Helmine and pushing forward in support of Rory Goldberg and Carsten Francke against the Snow Bears' back four. Two wins are possible with excellent play, as are two losses with poor play.

The final two opponents rank lower than our national side, but are not guaranteed wins in any sense. First, Garifunya. This nation currently holds the record for most World Cup cycles participated in without qualification, an ignominious acknowledgement. At first glance, they look somewhat like Ranoria, a team that played fairly well, but was never in real contention, finishing 16(!) points behind the second-place squad. However, what this overlooks is that with three games to play, De Dolfijnen were in third place, holding down a playoff spot. However, they took losses in each of their three final games, losing to the Holy Empire (expectedly), and then suffering 2-1 reverses to both Vilita and Geektopia, falling all the way to sixth place and four points out of the playoff spot. They can be a dangerous squad, scoring 2.3 goals/game, and hot off the heels of their best cycle in years, will surely be hungry for more success. Finally, there's Tjorl. Yes, Tjorl. The Magpies' former group mate, that somehow finished two spots and one point ahead of them, despite a -6 goal difference between the two teams. The Magpies took care of business the first time, winning 4-1 in Port Marian, but could only manage a draw away in the first of a three-game stretch of winnable games (United Adaikes and Kamisato Ayaka the others). Yes, the Magpies won the other two, but failed to defeat Tjorl. And while it was ultimately not decisive in the Magpies' quest to pick up a playoff spot, it was a missing two points against a team they should have defeated. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little miffed about it, and there is always some animosity when you have a group-stage rematch. Plenty of Pluvian and Saxean fans would love to see the Magpies thrash Tjorl, but they'll have to wait until the final matchday.

The Magpies begin with a bye, followed by Eura, who will themselves begin with Tjorl. A bye before playing the best team certainly gives Laurent Chambéry's side time to prepare, but also time to worry. Time to worry about Woakes, Atkinson, and Robson up front. Time to worry about how to counter the perfectly balanced blend of attack and defense that is the Euran 5-3-2 (or 3-5-2, as the case may be). This is a disciplined side that won't beat itself, so the Magpies' best shot is to find space on the counterattack and try to avoid silly mistakes, which will be punished. Fortunately for the Magpies, the top four teams in each group move on to the knockouts, so a loss to Eura isn't the end of their hopes. However, as is well-known, in a Cup of Death, every game counts, because nobody can be underestimated.

[Gnejs]

The Wolf’s Den

On the western outskirts of The Interior

She adjusted the volume on her phone and could hear the last words of the press conference with the Prime Minister and the Minister for Foreign Affairs faintly

Yes, so there you have it. The rumors are indeed true, The Prosaic Union has agreed to participate in a contest with our Friends in Baggieland to determine «Superior Culture and Couth». Now, I understand our confirmation of this might strike some of you as shocking, because frankly this whole affair is bizzarre - do not think we are unaware of this - but our decision here is firmly grounded in the Customs of Friendship and have been thoroughly discussed with, and assessed by, the uttermost of expertise in the field. I am not at liberty to discuss the circumstances regarding the need for partaking in this contest, but I assure you the need was there. Me and the Foreign Minister will be available for questions in a few minutes time, and….zxurzxzzbzzzzzzz- - - - - -”

She ripped out her earphones to get away from the static and buzzing. She had passed an invisible line and all reception was gone. She’d need a satellite phone to get in touch with Ministry out here, and you could just forget about internet service altogether. She pressed on, and the landscape slowly shifted from plains and grassland to forest-clad hills. The Molineux farm shouldn’t be far away now, she thought to herself and studied her surroundings.

She had very much been one of the skeptics concerning picking old Gertrude to take up the Baggie gauntlet. Many had been skeptical, of course, but their objections mainly rested on Molineux being an old and frail woman that surely wouldn’t be physically capable of going through with a full fistfight, the whole thing being dangerous for her health. Their minds had been put slightly at ease when preparatory negotiations had determined the bout would be settled via the traditional judo format, and be overseen by a professional judge at neutral ground in Prescott, Electrum. She had also worried about the physical state of their champion, but not due to any health concerns, but rather in terms of the Union’s chances at winning. Sending an old woman to fight was kind of like voluntarily playing tennis with both hands tied behind your back; you’re willingly walking in there with a disadvantage.

It was the Baggies who had requested it be her, of course. And with good reason, she had slighted their entire nation grievously on that infamous trip of hers, and if anyone understood the prudence of making up for a wrongdoing, it was the Union. But still. Yes, Friendship is a bond, and that bond entails giving to your Friend. And giving was adding something, something good. But by giving them what they wanted now, were they not at the same time being robbed of the essence of what they ultimately sought? There could never be any doubt the old lady would fall flat, so what glory is there in deceit? To give by covertly refusing to actually give the very thing the giving is based on, is that not giving at all? She remembered her classes in Ethics of Friendship, but she felt a lot of other’s had forgotten the finer points.

After yet another hour or so she suddenly saw a figure atop a grassy hill. It was a man draped in nothing but a maroon robe, a diamond necklace and an eyepatch. He motioned for her to follow him down the back of the hill, and eventually she caught up with him. The young man bowed gracefully and said “A way you lonely dove, at last a loved, long, swerving here from shore and bend of bay to hills of succulence.” He studied her carefully for reactions, and she did her best to hide her disdain. “You must be Fandango, Gertrude’s boy,” she said. She had never met him before herself, but she doubted anyone else out here made a habit of speaking incomprehensible gibberish and being a pretentious twat.

The young man bowed once again. “Indeed, after curtains have fallen by dint, the feeble of heart will have their stint, as I the foremost, an ancient giant, stand before your societal shackles defiant.” He made a dramatic gesture, signaling that she should continue following him. They walked for about thirty minutes. She didn’t really want to, but felt she had to ask. After all, she was here to check up on old Gertrude’s state and preparations.

“How is your mother? Is she feeling alright?” The man made a little snorting sound before clearing his throat, “Auld, a giant on a mountain she stands, the blood of enemies dripping from her hands, a harbinger of death for those who would offend couth, she is the very essence of muth, and so…” She put her hands up and whistled loudly, making him stop abruptly. “Could we do it without the balladry, please?” Fandango studied her with fiery scorn in his eyes, but then shrugged. “Fine. My words of light are misspent on an uncultured ministry stooge like you anyways. Mommy is doing well. You’ll see, the farm is just up there.” He pointed to a small clearing in the woods, and there you could indeed see something resembling a rackety chateau of sorts.

There were goats everywhere, and above the front door hung a crest that she recognized as belonging to the Molineux family, a single black wolf’s head on an old gold background within a hexagon, with the family motto - out of darkness cometh couthness - spelled out in old runes underneath. There wasn’t any true nobility, of course, not since the Union was founded in The Gneissic Banding of 1397. But some old families still liked to think of themselves in that way, complete with a variety of ludicrous heraldry.

She didn’t see old Gertrude anywhere, just goats and an assortment of cheese production tools scattered around the clearing. Everything seemed to be in various degrees of decay, and there was a moldy stench. Fandango tapped her on the shoulder and pointed towards the woods. “Look, little government puppet, there she comes, in all her glory.” She turned her head and saw a tattered figure emerge from the deep woods. The figure removed its hood, and there she was indeed, the former Member of Parliament, Gertrude Molineux. She seemed shorter, like she had shrunk. Her entire persona came across as decrepit, but her eyes signaled strength. The kind of unhinged strength you would see in descriptions of brutish warriors in old fantasy epics, like the Chronicles of Ore or The Two Stone Towers.

Old Gertrude approached her, and didn’t stop until she was way too close for comfort. “What are you doing here, UPG scum dog?” She hissed. It was uncomfortable, and scary. But she composed herself, and tried to speak calmly. “I’ve been sent to get an update on your preparations, and deliver your travel documents. You’ll be leaving for Electrum soon, I’m assuming you are aware of this.” Gertrude snatched the travel papers and itinerary from her hand and hissed again, “Of course I am aware you little shit. Now leave my property. Fandango will get you some of our cheese as provisions for the trek back.” She spat on the ground and started making her way back towards the woods.

She didn’t want to do it, but she had to. The Ministry needed to know. She needed to know. She cleared her throat and shouted, “I need to see something concrete. You’ve promised to deliver, but all I see so far is a weak recluse.” Old Gertrude stopped in her tracks. “Fandango, bring out the old beam from the west wing,” she said. Her son started giggling and ran into the house. After a few minutes he returned, dragging a sturdy piece of squared timber. Gertrude turned around and looked at her. Then she quickly raised her arm and slashed it violently towards the beam, which snapped in two in an instance. Gertrude spat on the ground again. Then both the Molineuxs started laughing. It was a high pitched evil laughter, the kind that made your blood freeze.

A couple of hours later, she had finally reached the point where the cell service returned. She quickly dialed the phone and said, “Hello, Minister. Yes, she is definitely ready.”

[Soldera]

Even when you feel you've made the right decision in life, you can still have second thoughts. A decision you know is the right one can still sometimes bring sadness.

That's the way it felt for Larry Carricker, the manager of the Solderan national football team. He's guiding a team into the so-called Group of Death after seeing it rise from the 114th rank in the football multiverse to 76th. More than that, however, he watched as his team knocked off the eventual Group 7 winners Drawkland 3-0 at home in Branwen and ended ancient power Audioslavia's World Cup hopes with a 1-1 draw.

More importantly, however, he has been the guiding hand for a team he's grown to love and appreciate as a special collection of players. He knew his time as manager had to come to an end. He felt it would be Joey Westway's team moving forward. The rigors of training a national team through another cycle, potentially including Copa Rushmori and another World Cup qualifying campaign to either the proper or to another Cup of Harmony appearance were wearing him down. He knew he couldn't commit the time, the effort, or the personal resources.

And yet, he knew the days ahead would be his final ones with this team, with this collection of players. He almost didn't have time to review the group draw, although if it did, it likely wouldn't have changed much. Leading the way as far as rank was concerned was 24th ranked Chromatika, a team the Snakes haven't faced on the pitch, although Chromatik media made it clear their hackles were up by the presence of the Snakes in the group. The Snakes baseball team's comeback from a 2-0 series deficit to force out the defending champion and No. 1 ranked Chromatiks in the World Baseball Classic ensured that.

"We don't play baseball," Carricker said. "That has no bearing on us."

However, the rest of the draw would also feature No. 34 TJUN-ia, 48th ranked HUElavia and No. 66 Astograth as the teams ranked ahead of Soldera. Baggieland at No. 106 may be a first-time opponent in this code of football, but the Snakes sent a team to the Aussie Rules World Cup in which Baggieland is a significant power. There's also Kuraita at No. 142 in the group.

Carricker said the team would not get any favors with a bye on Matchday 1.

"Yeah, we get an extra day to prepare for our match against Astograth, but we play six consecutive matchdays after that," he said. "That negates any advantage for Matchday 2, which is our Matchday 1."

It also means the remaining time in Larry Carricker's career, with this collection of players, will be compressed more than he'd like.

[Eraman]

"That went well," said Tun Rendra Usin, the Bendahara of Eraman.

It was the evening after the AMAN Leaders' Meeting. He was accompanied by President Paulus Etamba, the President of Sendhang in a cigar room at the underground level of the Daulapura Palace. Two glasses and a whiskey bottle were on the table in front of them. Both men had an imported cigar between their fingers. There was no one else in the room except the two.

"Yes, that was a huge relieved," replied President Paulus Etamba.

President Paulus Etamba was of course very happy with the outcome of the meeting. He got what he needed from the meeting. He managed to raise nationalism in his country. And most importantly, get the support of 3 of the 4 Sendhangite states, which should be enough to get him re-elected as the president again for another term. The problem in Putrasia can be settled on another day.

"A good start. But we still have a lot to do. This is just the beginning, just a small piece in the grand plan," said Tun Rendra Usin.

Yes, while the other delegations thought that they were at the end of the meeting, for Tun Rendra Usin and President Paulus Etamba, the meeting was only the beginning of a more elaborate plan. The two leaders who led their respective countries' nationalist parties are keen to play more geopolitics. The fact that Pemecutan's geopolitical influence in the region is growing does not sit well with them.

"One at a time. We finish the meeting tomorrow. Then we get an update from Acastanha," replied President Paulus Etamba.

And on the next day, they did just that. The meeting went well without drama or any further shocking announcements. The three hours meeting was all about choosing a new name for the region. Three names, Mandalanusa which means the circle of islands, Madyanusa which means the middle island, and Mahameru which means the great mountain were nominated by the delegations during the meeting. And in the end, after a vote, a new name was successfully chosen to be the new name for the region which is Mandalanusa.

[United Adaikes]

It's the 1st Cup of Harmony for the United Adaikes, a monumental accomplishment considering it's their second World Cup adventure. While quite many first-timers are also invited to Cup of Harmony, the level of excitement and the need and fire to prove something is more evident for the current squad.

Much more like an invitational tournament, but not only winning, getting invited to this tournament is sort of a recognition of the national team's performance in the World Cup Qualifiers.

The team's first half in the Qualifiers, winning the first four of five home games and getting their first back-to-back wins (with the second win their first win playing away), had many heads turned in the direction of the Adaikesians, finishing fourth out of 11 teams in that half. While both the team and its fans want to forget what happened in the second half, the players are itching to bounce back and show and prove that they can ride with the big guys now that they are playing in the Cup of Harmony.

The Adaikesians' first opponents in the Cup of Harmony are the Brookstation. This is not the first time United Adaikes players have met with Brooks, as their tennis players have also played their fair share of matches. In the latest Qualifiers, Brookstation finished 3rd in Group 12 and earned a playoff match against Group 2's 2nd placer Nyowani Kitara. However, the Nyowani Kitarans prevailed in the two playoff matches, 2-0 and 4-3, winning in aggregate, 6-3.

[Gortolekua]

previously. contextually.

---

The writers’ room inside Harvey Varraskura’s late-night talk show, “Getting 86ed with Harvey Varraskura”, was more of a buffoonery than most writers’ rooms for late-night talk shows. The always-looming pressure of needing to make striking commentary on society that was thought-provoking, insightful, and funny, above all else, was not lost on any of the comedians in there, especially not Harvey Varraskura. He was, after all, the ringleader of an anti-establishment political movement trying to shake up the nation. They got seats in the most recent parliamentary election, and Varraskura, who chose not to stand for election as a candidate, now had a platform for that message.

His main challenge to that was Perry Salonen, the country’s Premier. Varraskura watched the episode of “A Chef’s Voyage” Antoine Brousseau did in the country earlier in the year. Salonen was spoken of positively by Brousseau in the show.

What a farce, Varraskura thought.

It felt wrong to see the country, and his government, given such a positive stage. Portraying Gortolekua as this budding, free nation and Salonen as the do-no-wrong reformer bringing the country into the open was wrong in Varraskura’s eyes. This was the leader, after all, who still decided to keep the Government's work on Adelaide Island a secret despite the various pleas from the press and his fellow citizens. The Rangers on Adelaide Island, to Varraskura’s rudimentary knowledge of it, were still undergoing their training regimen—classic comedy fodder.

“So we get to make a brainwashing joke to the audience or what,” Varraskura asked his writing team, hoping to hear someone elevate the joke. This was a prime moment for him to capture the nation’s attention and remind the people what’s at stake. After all, he knew football wasn’t forever, but Gortolekua was.

“Call those Rangers smoothbrains,” one writer replied. “That’ll get a laugh out of them.”

“Not quite, that’s not what I’m looking for,” Varraskura answered. “C’mon y’all: we’re uplifting the joke. That just plateaus it, and we don’t want that.”

“Or we point out that they’re being brainwashed to be loyal nationalists, of all things,” another responded. “Like of all the things to be brainwashed by, you choose to become a patriot. Especially after all the shit the past rulers have done.”

“Good start, good start. We need to polish it up, though,” Harvey replied. It wasn’t his first time poking fun at the Government in public. He was one of the nation’s earliest satirists—a job that damned him to watchlists of the bad kind and gave little hope of bringing actual change. When the freedom and aavekitze movements began taking place, Varraskura was one of the leading figures in that movement. Not because he liked Salonen (he couldn’t trust any politician), but because opening up was the right thing to do.

When the authoritarian regime finally stepped down, Varraskura was elated at what he could finally bring to the people. No chance in hell that he wouldn’t pass up this opportunity to speak freely. Hence the political party named after him, Harvey’s. But he swore it wasn’t in a serious way, more in a “haha look at how stupid it is to celebrate politicians” way. Either way, he knew there wasn’t going to be anything holding him back from being the comedian he always wanted to be: a free one. At least, he thought he knew.

Right when Harvey’s got members into parliament,Varraskura’s show saw the effects kick in. The Government imposed limitations on what “Getting 86ed” could cover during the host monologues. Under the guise of Equal Airtime laws that were usually never imposed on others, the show was limited to just five minutes of government critique per show. Salonen said this had to happen to limit any unfair advantage gained by Harvey’s thanks to their national platform—a bullshit response in Harvey’s (both the party and the person’s) mind. The rest of the writers, at this point, we’re working on the Rangers monologue for tonight’s show; he was ready to ax it.

“Listen, I get we’ve only got five minutes to talk about whatever we want to talk about, but come on y’all…don’t you think we ought to have more?” Harvey was furious, yet passionate in his questioning. “We should be able to speak our minds freely, and without having Perry shove the five minute limit down our throats. I mean, come the fuck on: No one else on television gets to deal with this but us. Our main difference is that I happen to give enough of a shit to want to make a difference.”

Everyone was stunned at his rant, given he kept the ones he did do to his monologues—even then, those ranting monologues were rare.

“I just can’t make a difference in five fucking minutes,” Harvey said.

“Talk about that, Harv,” a writer said in response to Varraskura’s rant. “That’s your monologue for the night.”

Harvey replied with a simple, four word phrase that got the entire room cheering: “I think I will.”

As staff filed out of the room to celebrate that night’s finished monologue, the sound of glass breaking could be heard from a few floors above them. The “Getting 86ed” crew could see glass shards fly out and rain on Seinät from the writers’ room. Window panes had been blown away, as the fire alarm went off in the room and building altogether. Flames slowly grew across an entire floor of the 30-story building hosting the show/party headquarters. Everyone evacuated the building as fast as they could—looks like the show might be off for tonight.

But as Harvey and company left the building, he knew something about the fire didn’t seem right. He knew some of those that worked at the ad agency a few floors above him. They all were nice folks who helped make some campaigns for the show, but more importantly: They weren’t a type of business to have any suspicious electrical wiring or explosives involved. It didn’t sit right with anyone working, or Harvey in particular.

How the hell does an ad agency get on fire, let alone explode?

[Brookstation]

---

IT'S NOT OVER YET
by Pavel Lintott

“Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality”

These are unmistakably the opening verse of Queen’s legendary masterpiece, Bohemian Rhapsody. But the fact that strikes me more is the close association of the song and our everyday lives. If we take a deep breath and think about it more carefully, we are bound to realize the fact that even we have questioned the happenings of our life sometime. Even if you can’t relate to this, I can assure you that every fan who has closely followed Brookstation’s World Cup campaign has asked themselves this question after last day’s match against fellow Pavolan nation, Nyowani Kitara.

Following Brookstation’s devastating defeat to Nyowani Kitara at the Pop Smoke Stadium, the Dreamers headed to Dewayo, the Kitaran capital to play the final leg of the playoffs. This was a match where Brookstation were bound to give their best no matter what happened. It was those 90 minutes that would decide Brookstation’s fate and having a major disadvantage beforehand just made matters worse. Brookstation was clearly in a desperate situation but nonetheless, we did put up a good fight eventually gaining the appreciation of Liang Wei, the very coach of Nyowani Kitara.

Brookstation created their first chance as early as the 3rd minute when skipper Robes headed the ball at the goalpost in response to a cross by Vassell. Brookstation were determined to make it to the World Cup to ensure that their hard earned recognition didn't go to waste. A match between two highly offensive teams was obviously going to be intense and in Dewayo, the intensity just crossed everyone’s expectations. For the first quarter of the match, Brookstation dominated the field and created several chances , only to miss them all. Nyowani Kitara on the other hand, had luck on their side, something that we are unfamiliar with. Nyowani Kitara got their first goal on their first attempt thanks to a very unfortunate hand ball by Nate Harlow. Joel Latibeauderie stood in front of the ferocious Owino Odede but couldn’t restrict Odede from scoring.

With 3 goals behind, Brookstation were left with literally no option but to unleash their full potential on the field and what followed was an aggressive fight between the two teams which further intensified the atmosphere in Dewayo. Nate Harlow got vengeance in style after scoring Brookstation’s first goal in the 27th minute. It was a clean effort from Harlow as he jumped into thin air and headed the ball smoothly past 1896 Ebor goalkeeper Oduor Bigombe. However one goal would mean nothing for the team and with only 63 minutes left in the game, Brookstation had an entire plate to finish. Brookstation, knowing that it was either then or never, made yet another attempt for the goal and within minutes of the first goal, Vassell hammered a goal from a distance of nearly 20 metres. Although Brookstation had the lead in the game, they were still trailing by a goal and after making several attempts, the referee finally blew the whistle.

The second half would prove to be detrimental for the team and it is undoubtedly one of the most disappointing halves I have ever witnessed. Nyowani Kitara. A set of brilliant moves by Liang Wei completely devastated us and Liang Wei could proudly claim himself as the winner of the “180 minute Chess Game”*. Brookstation did try to retaliate as soon as possible and an attack opened by Veum saw the ball safely reach Robes before being flagged for offside. However, these efforts would not go into waste as Johnson would steal the ball from Jokonya and cross it over to Kehr who made no mistake in netting Brookstation’s third of the day. This goal also received an optimistic response from the small Brook crowd present in the crowd and a distinct Brook chant could be heard even by those watching the game from home.

This didn’t prove to be a pragmatic response because in the long run, it was Nyowani Kitara who were going to prevail. The Brook defense had collapsed and having reached the end of the game, the Brook team understood that the World Cup wasn’t for them after all and a loss to Nyowani Kitara was inevitable. Nyowani Kitara took advantage of the fact and equalized in the 72nd minute after a close fight between Odede and Latibeauderie and the final nail would be hammered into Brookstation by none other than Wang Jiahui who would single handedly demolish the dreams that the nation had accumulated over the entire campaign in a matter of seconds.

The expressions of the Brook crowd were really disappointing and people of all ages, genders and backgrounds burst into tears. I myself had nothing to say and as I said in the beginning, this made me question everything that happened in the course of the last month. The journey was amazing, our wins against prominent footballing nations along with our unexpected defeats contributed to the experience that none of us will ever forget. This was also a lesson for the entire Brook team and the team which didn’t even think of playing football again made a remarkable comeback proving the world that it is not impossible to overcome the odds if one believes in themself. The cycle isn’t yet over for Brookstation and now it is time for Brookstation to return to where they belong, The Cup of Harmony and I am pretty sure that a lot of things awaits us.

---

THE BEAUTIFUL GAMES' PREVIEW OF GROUP B

CASSADAIGUA
Cassadaigua is not an unfamiliar name in the football world with 2 world cup titles to their names. Despite being the current holders of the Copa Rushmori, the team failed to make an appearance for the World Cup, having last failed to make an appearance back in World Cup 80. However this rough patch does not portray them as a weak team at all as the nation went on to gain 43 points in the Qualifying campaign, well ahead of what Brookstation could manage. Thus without a benefit of doubt, Cassadaigua is going to be the greatest hurdle to Brookstation.

SARZONIA
Sarzonia fought their way to the Playoffs similar to Brookstation but eventually missed out on a spot in the World Cup following a disappointing defeat to Trolleborg even after having a 1 goal lead after the first match. Sarzonia is undoubtedly a strong footballing nation and also has a title to their name. Sarzonia would be a tricky opponent and gaining a win against the Atlantic Oceanian giants would be of crucial importance to the Brook team if they want to keep their hopes high.

VALENTINE Z
Valentine Z’s footballing history is quite impressive. The nation’s rapid rise through the ranks was extremely impressive and the team managed to surprise the world by reaching the semi finals of the previous Cup of Harmony defeating the likes Trolleborg and Electrum. Similarly, the team made an impressive run for this year’s World Cup as well, finishing at second position in a group with Nephara, Yue Zhou and Mercedini. As a matter of fact, Valentine Z happened to be in the same group as Brookstation last time as well. In the face off between the two teams, the results showed a draw, however this time the Dreamers will obviously be looking forward to being the better side.

SENDHANG
In perhaps one of the quirkiest group of the World Cup which included Adab, Tumbra and Zwangzug, all of whom have reserved a seat in the World Cup, Sendhang managed to fight its way to the fourth spot, accumulating 40 points, once again higher than what Brookstation could afford. Sendhang. Unlike Brookstation, Sendhang is a pretty defensive team and thus it would require a lot of mettle for Browne’s men to register a win against Sendhang.

SATERUN
If there is one nation that has defied all odds, it has to be Saterun. Playing in their second Qualifiers, the team finished in 5th place just a point behind Cabo Azure, who would make the playoffs. At one point of time, the team even found themselves in a qualifying position. The team’s biggest achievement of the campaign was their tie against Pemecutan, one,if not the best team in the world currently. However this was not all. The team also managed to upset Chromatika and HUElavia, two renowned footballing nations.

UNITED ADAIKES
Lastly, we have United Adaikes, the lowest ranked nation in our group. The nation has definitely made attempts to cope up with the sport but unfortunately these attempts didn’t pay them well in the long run and the nation finished at a disappointing 8th place. Brookstation would definitely require a win against the amateur nation to keep their hopes alive.

[Audioslavia]

OOC: While purporting to be entirely written by an AI, this article was in fact written by Audio and attempts to mimic an AI. Any similarities to Audio's regular RPing is both unintended and depressing.
All images in this RP were created by an AI, specifically Dalle-mini

Who's Who in Group A according to an Artificial Intelligence
A preview of the teams Audioslavia will be facing in the upcoming Cup of Harmony

Audioslavia, an international football team in the multiverse, are a multiversal international football team that will be taking part in Cup of Harmony 83, which is the Cup of Harmony tournament for World Cup 91, the 91st World Cup. Audioslavia won the World Cup in World Cup 63 and World Cup 64, but are now participating in the Cup of Harmony due to having failed to qualify for the World Cup, dropping down into the Cup of Harmony.

In the Cup of Harmony the Bulls of Audioslavia will be competing against six other international football teams from around the multiverse in the Cup of Harmony that also failed to qualify for World Cup 91 due to receiving fewer points than their rival teams.

Matchday One - Audioslavia vs Yuezhou

The flag of Yuezhou as described to an AI
("a yellow equals sign on a blue background")

Audioslavia's first match in Group A will be against Yuezhou, an international football team from Rushmore that Audioslavia have played against on zero prior occasions, and have thus never beaten. Yuezhou have appeared in World Cup Qualifying ten times, qualifying only once via the playoffs in World Cup 88 Qualifying Group 18, which was not only won by Farfadillis but was also the eighteenth qualifying group of World Cup 88, the 88th World Cup.

Of the 259 teams to have participated in World Cup qualifying on at least ten occasions, Yuezhou's average Points Per Game of 1.63 is the 173rd best. This suggests Yuezhou are a below average team that are worse than Audioslavia.

According to an AI, the nation of Yuezhou looks like this

Matchday Two - Audioslavia vs Chartistan

The flag of Chartistan as described to an AI
("a drawing of three monks and two seahoses on an orange sash on a blue background on the top left corner of the England flag")

Audioslavia have an unbeaten record against Chartistan, losing zero of the two football teams' prior #N/A matches. With such a dominant record, Audioslavia's national football team, the Bulls, which played their first football game in World Cup 4, are expected to critical error not field blank.

Chartistan failed to qualify for the World Cup after finishing fourth in group 13 behind Astograth, Vilita and The Holy Empire. Their all-time average Points Per Game in World Cup qualifying is 1.4. When counting only a nation's first five entries into the World Cup, of the 550 nations that entered qualifying at least five times, this performance is the 321st best, meaning Chartistan are below average.

Chartistan is the joint third best international football team in Sonnel, having won 0 major tournaments in their history.

According to an AI, the nation of Chartistan looks like this

Matchday Three - Bye
Goodbye.

Matchday Four - Audioslavia vs Indusse

The flag of Indusse as described to an AI
("a blue wreath on the flag of India")

Former IAC Champions Indusse have failed to qualify for the World Cup in each of their twelve attempts, with their best attempt coming in World Cup 81, finishing second behind Farfadillis and being knocked out in the playoffs. Their most recent World Cup qualifying campaign, for the 91st World Cup, ended with the former IAC champions finishing fifth in group 10 behind South Newlandia, Krytenia, Saint Eleanor and Kandorith. Indusse's 0-0-0 record against Audioslavia is a sign of equality between the two teams, who are both participating in Group A together.

Indusse have amassed an average of 1.26 Points Per Game throughout their history of attempting to qualify for the World Cup. Of the 206 teams to have participated in qualifying at least twelve times, this is the 196th strongest performance.

According to an AI, the nation of Indusse looks like this

Your trial with Bull-e artificial intelligence has ended, to show more content please consider subscribing.

Matchday Five - Audioslavia vs The Cordian Isles

The flag of The Cordian Isles as described to an AI
("the ukrainian flag")

The Cordian Isles, against whom Audioslavia have a 0-0-0 record that implies parity between the two teams, failed to qualify for World Cup 91 despite reaching the playoffs, having finished third behind Mytanija and #REF [data would overwrite cell Q3]. With an average Points Per Game of 1.66 over two qualifying cycles, The Cordian Isles have the 119th most impressive record for their first two cycles of the 1259 teams to have entered qualifying twice.

According to an AI, the nation of The Cordian Isles looks like this

Matchday Six - Audioslavia vs Aleirave

The flag of Aleirave as described to an AI
("a dutch angle shot of the horizon at the beach with a thick red line separating the sky from the sand")

Fellow Anaians Aleirave have played Audioslavia on one prior occasion, with Audioslavia winning 4-0 in the first round of cycle 90's CAFA Cup. If current trends were to continue, Audioslavia would win the forthcoming Matchday Six match by four goals to nil in the match.

Aleirave's seventh place in World Cup 91 was not enough for the side to qualify for World Cup 91, the 91st World Cup, on account of the fact that there were six teams ahead of them in the standings. Of the 11,043 qualifying attempts on record posted by over 3,000 teams, Aleirave's Points Per Game of 1.2 in World Cup 91 qualifying is the 6,491st best performance.

According to an AI, the nation of Aleirave looks like this

Matchday Seven - Audioslavia vs Delte

The flag of Delte as described to an AI
("three golden trouts on a lime green stripe on a dark green background")

Delte have never before participated in either a World Cup or a match against Audioslavia, suggesting that the side has never before participated in either of these events. Delte's Points Per Game in Qualifying of 1.8 is the 45th most impressive by a team making their debut (KPB era), ahead of Wight (1.75, 56th), Bonesea (1.56, 132nd), Nephara (1.56, 144th) Tequilo (1.54, 157th) and Valanora (1.29, 410th) and Royal Kingdom of Quebec (0.00, 3,186th)

According to an AI, the nation of Delte looks like this

---

When quoted for his opinions on the forthcoming Cup of Harmony 83, which will be the tenth anniversary of Tinhampton's victory in the 73rd Cup of Harmony (Cup of Harmony 73), Jeremy Jaffacake responded: "whisky [/align] [/align] f**"

[Cabo Azure]

Os Canários, pt 1
Camp Canarinho, Cabo Azure
Early June on the leeward island of Canarinho was hot and muggy, so humid that the windows were opaque with sweat as Capitão João Cabral completed his daily circuit of the resistance machines in the gym on Camp Canarinho. In his mid-thirties, with his thick black hair cut in a high fade, João had the physique of a man who had leisure time and spent it working out; his biceps and trapeziuses peaked perfectly and his waist cut in abruptly below the ribcage, directing the eye to the appearance of his Achilles’ girdle just above the beltline. Once, back on Portelo at the National Guard barracks, João had to settle for working out once a day and eating what he could grab from the commissary. Now he’d paid his dues, and he could afford the luxury of working out twice a day and eating every four hours on a set schedule to keep his body looking prime.

The thing no one told you about the National Guard, João reflected as he peeled off his dry-fit t-shirt at the end of the workout, is that it didn’t really have much of a purpose. The brass trumpeted the National Guard as being the equal of the Coast Guard in stature, but that was only true insofar as the two commandants held the same grade, both being colonels. Any conflict involving Cabo Azure would be won or lost on the waves, and that was reflected in the force structure; the Coast Guard commanded two full-sized cutters and a veritable armada of patrol boats, as well as an elite group of frogmen with a reputation for poaching any National Guardsmen who showed potential. Just about every job worth having in the Azurean military was on the Coast Guard side.

Which made João all the more grateful to have been given this opportunity on Camp Canarinho. He’d commanded the Dulce Muerte garrison, the least fashionable of the main National Guard locations, for three years, during which time he’d succeeded in doing little besides keeping his soldiers from killing any citizens, each other, or themselves. The job had been thankless and soul-sucking, yet each time he’d been asked to extend, he’d done so willingly, knowing that post-command jobs were slim pickings. Most National Guard officers wound up back on Portelo after command, either doing grunt work for the general staff or attempting to teach infantry tactics to disinterested midshipmen at Maritime University.

The Camp Canarinho job was a recent invention, only as old as the camp itself. Technically João was the executive officer for the resident detachment of Quebecois marines permanently stationed aboard Camp Canarinho, which would in theory mean he was second-in-command of the entire base. In practice, while the Quebecois respected him personally, they would never abide by a decision he made over one made by a Quebecois officer, even one who was technically subordinate. João viewed this reality favorably, being profoundly disinterested in commanding much of anything after his experience in Dulce Muerte. Instead, he happily busied himself liaising with the Azurean military and the local populace on Canarinho and advising the Quebecois commander, Colonel Song, whom he had come to view as the professional mentor he’d never had.

His phone buzzed on the little bench outside the single shower in the Camp Canarinho gym. Like most of the infrastructure on the base, the gym was modular, little more than a trailer on cinder blocks and affixed with a fuck-off HVAC system to keep the cold-acclimated Quebecois from dying in the tropical heat. According to Colonel Song, the original plan had been to plug into existing infrastructure–”shore power” in naval terms–but when the engineers had seen the dilapidated state of the power grid on Canarinho, they’d gone back to the drawing board and had to delay construction by six months while they source huge generators from back in Quebec to power the camp. During that time, the command had been based aboard an amphibious carrier and the marines had only come ashore via hovercraft to conduct training.

The buzzing grew more insistent, and João wrapped a towel around his waist as he fumbled to answer it with wet fingers. It was Colonel Song.

“Good morning, sir,” he said, trying to disguise his annoyance at having his shower cut short.

“Morning, João,” came Song’s dry-as-reeds voice. He always spoke a little too loud on the phone, as if talking into a radio handset with a bad connection. “I need you to come into the office.”

“Aye, sir. I’ll be there at eight.”

“I need you here sooner.”

João looked at his phone. It was 0500, and the sun hadn’t even begun to rise at this latitude. Though he no longer had to get up quite as early, he’d chosen to keep the same schedule from command mostly because he liked to get to the gym before the Quebecois. There were commanders in the world who’d demand to see their subordinates first thing in the morning over some petty shit, and God knows João had served under some, but Colonel Song in particular had always been very reasonable, seeming to value João’s too much to risk alienating him. Calling him in straight from the gym was uncharted territory, which meant something had happened.

As he pulled on his uniform and laced up his boots, João was grateful he’d decided to shower at the gym today instead of driving back across the island to his house. The Quebecois engineers had solved the problem of the power infrastructure, but they hadn’t accounted for every challenge that the addition of a couple hundred soldiers and contractors would bring. The additional cars meant that traffic snarled at certain times of day, exacerbated by the Quebecois’ insistence on maintaining a single entry control point.

Once dressed, he hustled out to his car to make the short drive to the office; it might have been faster to walk, but he wanted his car to be in the XO spot in front of the headquarters for two reasons: one, so anyone arriving would know he was there, and two, in case he had to drive somewhere else. The chief warrant officer’s spot, in between João’s and Colonel Song’s was occupied, but the gravel lot outside the headquarters was otherwise empty.

[Sarzonia]

While the Cup of Harmony is sometimes the end of the road for certain people or teams, and sometimes even countries, it's often the continuation of a journey for a team.

In the case of Brady Reynolds, however, the 83rd Cup of Harmony marks a beginning. He takes the reins of the Sarzonian national football team from the fired Nathan Hanifer with what he's called a six-match audition.

"This is a chance for me to prove myself," he said. "I won't have input on the squad for the Cup of Harmony, at least not directly. However, it will give me a chance to show what I can do."

Incorporated Football Federation chairman Zack Wilson disputed the notion that it was a six-match tryout for Reynolds, but agreed with the rest of his statement.

"He's not an interim manager; he's our new manager," Wilson said. "Once this [World Cup] cycle is over, he and I will meet and will discuss how we'd like to see this team move forward, whether he wants to continue to build the team based on the system [former manager Nicola Mentes] and [Hanifer] established or he wants to chart a different course."

Reynolds hasn't committed to either approach, saying he's still in the process of determining everything from the starting 11 to how he wants the team to handle training on any given day. One thing is clear, however. Carlton Sandt will return to the starting 11 as the goalkeeper. The two-match Trent Woodson experiment is done for now.

"I'm not saying we don't value Trent's contributions to this team or Paolo's [Gomes, the other goalkeeper], but Carlton is the starter," Reynolds said. "He's worked hard in training to ensure that he gets back to his spot in the lineup."

Reynolds was asked about the draw for his team, assigned to Group B which includes the likes of No. 7 ranked Cassadaigua among others. The meeting between the sides on Matchday 5 will mark the third of the cycle after Sarzonia won the first leg in Woodstock and the Fillies walloped the Stars 7-3 to force Sarzonia into a two-leg playoff against Trolleborg. The Stars won the first leg 2-1 but lost the second leg 2-0 to be consigned to the Cup of Harmony.

"It's a definite recipe for a rivalry," he said of facing Cassadaigua. "That said, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. We've got our opening match against United Adaikes on Matchday 2." Reynolds didn't comment on the fact the Stars will play six matchdays in a row after a bye on Matchday 1 other than to say, "it's not ideal."

The top four teams from each group will advance to the Round of 32. Reynolds said his goal is to ensure that Sarzonia are one of those teams.

"That's the starting point," he said. "Everything else follows from there."

[Valentine Z]

Part 1 – Kittens and Other Animals and Entities.

The Valentian Kittens debut for their second Cup of Harmony, with an equally exciting line of opponents waiting for them. They may have gotten slightly further than usual in World Cup itself, but they have missed that opportunity a few days back, and in all honesty, did not mind having to play in Cup of Harmony. In fact, going further than last season, or even winning this season’s CoH, might have been the bee’s knees, a sleeper hit, and other five-dollar words for “undercats winning the match.” First, we will look at who the Kittens will be playing against. Each of the group has 7 teams, meaning 6 opponents for the Kittens across the 7 match days. This is the official schedule:

MD1 – 3v6 – Saterun Claws vs Valentian Kittens – Kittens have their own paws, while the Saternalian teams is nothing but claws, it would seem. Perhaps in another season, the Kittens and Claws would have made a good team.
MD2 – 7v3 – Valentian Kittens vs Sendhang Rice Farmers – The recently offensive and goal-hungry kittens will have to break against the slightly defensive-oriented Rice Farmers. Rice is also the staple food for most Valentians.
MD3 – 5v6 – Cassadaigua Fillies (Dagans) vs Valentian Kittens – The big one, perhaps the most anticipated match of the season for the Valentians; they consider Cassadagans as friends, who has a few of its people in NSSCRA.
MD4 – Bye – The Valentians rest for this day, which is the best time for them, as they thought. With the rest after 3 matches, and with 3 more matches to go, the Kittens get the best middle-week rest to rest and purr a little bit.
MD5 – 6v7 – Valentian Kittens vs Brookstation Dreamers – The two offensive teams collide, with the goals and the wins up for grabs, whether be it from the Kittens swiping with their paws, or the dreams becoming big and true.
MD6 – 1v6 – Sarzonia Stars vs Valentian Kittens – On paper, it is going to be a challenge and demanding for the Kittens, what with the Stars (NOT Alanis Star, our autonomous region) having such a stellar performance on field.
MD7 – 6v2 – Valentian Kittens vs United Adaikes National Football Team – Finally, ending off the first elimination round, the Valentians will be showing their prowess against the United Adaikes, who also is known to go for goals.

An exciting line-up all around, with the Valentian Kittens showing a fair bit of concern towards having to deal with and to compete against the likes of Cassadaigua’s Fillies (or Dagans), who is possibly one of the biggest (if not), the biggest and most popular nation in the international sports scene for their sheer presence, as well as the number of sports that they have participated (and won) in. They have also possibly the “Only World Cup, World Bowl, World Cup of Hockey, World Baseball Classic and International Basketball Championships winner”, and that is saying a lot to the Valentian Kittens, who broke into a bit of a sweat upon hearing that they would be playing against them. NSSCRA, unfortunately, does not come much into play here right now, though the NSSCRA drivers themselves will know about the news, such as Anastasia “De Sierlijke en Vrij High Valkyrie ov Valentine Z” Freya Valentina Ada. Jolin Annelijn Caitlin Trijntje Crystal Clarice Constance Judy Voi. D. Nexitros Annile Teresa Thida Myat Yadana Aye, who is the Valentian driver to make it into the top 4 of NSSCRA 12 and will be having one last race of the season to compete with the likes of Thea Alvarez, Jenna Logan, and Stacie Houston, the latter being a Cassadagan and also a NSSCRA legend by her own right. “Certainly a honour to be against the Dagans, from everything that I have heard about them,” Markus remarked to the rest of his players, “Even if we might get a little… overwhelmed. But hey, don’t worry about it, you guys will do great, all right? Good luck, and remember your training and tactics!”

[Tikariot]

-- The Tikariot Premier League is covered by Simon Nighthorse and Sakari Pernfors --

As the Tikariotian national team is preparing for the Cup of Harmony, we have some statistical data from the Tikariot Premier League that is a little different from what the usual analyses cover. We had a look at the squads of each TPL team and at the players' ages and put some graphics together to show the spread of ages throughout their rosters, showing some surprising trends and insights. Each black square corresponds to a player with the respective age that can be seen to the left of each graph. Just as clarification before we dive in, though, the graphics are covering the full 25 player rosters, not just the starting eleven.

The following panels will provide an interesting overview over the age structures and reveal that some teams have solid foundations with young players, while some are facing some age-related do-overs rather sooner than later.

The first panel indicates one potential reason for Bul Khungur's issues this season with their age structure being quite top heavy, something that Baraldhur is headed for as well with four players turning 30 next season. Coincidentally they also are deeply embroiled in the battle against relegation, which has already led some of the experts to draw correlations. An interesting detail here, however, is that often the same experts are proponents of the "experience over exuberance" point of view, which directly contradicts this. On the other hand one of this season's biggest surprises, the Ancarea FC, shows a remarkably balanced structure with a solid middle-aged foundation and some outliers into both directions, which potentially hints at balance being a big factor in their success this season.

Looking at panel number two, the first team that stands out are the Carathyr Emeralds, who had a great start to the season, but are now running out of steam as their table position has been taking a bit of a nosedive. When looking at the age structure, it is very obvious how relatively young the team as a whole is, with only one player being aged 30, which gives hopes that if they can keep their team together, they can really build up something from the ground up that could reinstate the Emerald Coast-based club back in the top third of the table. In contrast, Dhun Lagarr features one of the biggest discrepancies between youth and experience in the league, with a gaping hole between 25 and 29 year olds, indicating a tightrope walk for Bulls management to be able to rejuvenate part of the roster within the next season or two.

One of the key takeaways of panel three is that Guillarim, Kyethas and Miruan have a very solid mid-aged core of players, similar to Ancarea, even though especially in the cases of Guillarim and Miruan the fortunes this season could hardly be much different than Ancarea's, but obviously there are a lot of different factors playing into this. What is surprising with Oriannor is that while having a number of very promising young talents, there also is an age-top-heaviness that promises a lot of upcoming work for management, in their case especially on the bench, which is rapidly aging away.

Panel four shows one of the most bizarre age structures of any TPL team with Port Tacassam's, which is extremely drawn out and showcases one of the oldest rosters in the league, while on the other hand Port Rhovanyon has one of the youngest on display right next to it. In the case of the Kraken this could be one quite valid pointer towards their inconsistency this season, even though at the same time looking at the TPL games of the starting eleven, they have a very experienced first line. The extra pressure and number of games due to their IFCF participation, however, have to be taken into additional account. A look at the age structure of Pyathora's roster shows seven players of 30 and older, six of which are in the starting eleven this season, with all of the four oldest being starters, so given their surprising high-flying form this season, this could be their one shot at a championship before management will be forced to rejuvenate the line-up.

Title candidate Tikariot City's structure is also one of the more drawn-out ones, but in contrast to, for example, Port Tacassam's, it also shows a healthy number of young players that can form a good foundation and allow for TCFC management to go for more of a roster evolution than revolution, which is a good indicator for why they have been one of the few teams that have consistently been at the top of the table. On the other hand, in the case of Vantanoch, who have been a perennial candidate for relegation, are still sticking to their tactic of having one considerably older player that acts as experienced leader to an otherwise quite balanced squad, which has allowed them to pull themselves out of the thickest of things for three seasons and counting, which is an interesting contrast.

And finally we have panel six, where we see two teams with some of the youngest set-ups, even though quite differing seasons so far. Xanark have two layers, one centered around 20-22 and one 25-26 with only a handful of players above, which, should they be able to keep the team together and avoid having their best players picked off by bigger clubs, could indicate a bright at least short-term future for the Dragons. Ysgrann Bay's structure sits even deeper in the youth development, but the relative lack of experienced players could be one contributor for the Eagles once more riding the bullet around the drop zone.

We hope that this unusual approach to league/team analysis has brought some interesting insight and bid you farewell until next time.

[Mertagne]

Matchday One Scores - Tumbran Half

Group A
Audioslavia 2–2 Yuezhou
Indusse 2–1 Delte
The Cordian Isles 3–1 Aleirave

Group B
United Adaikes 4–3 Brookstation
Saterun 0–1 Valentine Z
Sendhang 0–2 Cassadaigua

Group C
Astograth 1–2 HUElavia
Chromatika 2–1 Baggieland
Kuraita 1–2 TJUN-ia

Group D
Eura 1–0 Tjorl
Milchama 5–2 Electrum
Garifunya 0–0 Ranoria

[Bollonich]

A Magical Run, ends in tragedy

Recently, in the sphere of sports, football has not been the most successful for the Bollonischians. We have seen much greater success in more niche sports such as handball, with our two HWC titles and chess, with our ECC threepeat. Needless to say, these are pretty impressive records on the public forum however success in the most popular sport in the nation itself however continued to elude the team. The bringing in of Indussian coach, Joseph Moteudi, seemed to worsen the situation for the side as for the first time in our history we suffered a fall in the rankings and failed to make the Cup of Harmony. This failure caused increasing doubts over Moteudi’s competence and future managing the national team as fans were furious with our international performance which lacked any form of lustre or desire to win. Moteudi in a press conference prior to Qualifying clearly mentioned his rather distraught state of mind from all the hate flung in his direction which he perhaps believed was unjustified. He seemed prepared to tender his resignation to the board which he publicly stated prior to the team going into Qualifying. The Board however, continued to be in support of their appointment providing him with one last opportunity to prove his worth to the Board and to the fans. Moteudi was determined, he was going to make the best of the opportunity handed to him by the board to regain the popular faith in him to cement his position in this outfit.

This brings us to Moteudi’s redemption where he would finally make clear that the team and he himself possesses the skill to be competitive and the will to fight for qualification and for positions in the sport. It began in Bollonich itself with the very first matchday of Qualifying and the Tigers put up a great display defeating Muralos two goals to none, and following it up with a victory over Khyun maintaining a clean sheet in both games. What appeared to be more interesting however, was the style of play and the dominant state which the side took in these games asserting their superiority. This was mainly showcased in the field through strong midfield control, good possession and the prevention of handing any attacking opportunities to the opponents. This form of play was up for regular display in each and every match played by the Tigers in the season with minor adjustments based on the opposition they were facing. Matchday 5 was potentially the most encouraging display from the Bollonischians as the side which so far under Moteudi had struggled recorded an impressive victory over Tikariot showing their fighting spirit and ability to take the fight to superior outfits. This victory was not a slim one either, it was a dominating display of skill and talent put up by the side which earned them three crucial points. By the halfway point of qualifying the side had already asserted their position in third place with quite some control, as the side managed to limit the number of losses to the bare minimum putting up impressive defensive performances.
The start to the second half of Qualifying was as energetic as had been the end to the first half with the team putting on an attacking masterclass thumping opposition Muralos, scoring 5 goals. This was an impressive display of attacking prowess, a showcase of which we also witnessed in the victory over Khyun and the crucial draw against Pasarga. At this moment our position in the group to play in the playoffs was fairly comfortable with our closest competitors in fourth having a seven point deficit on us. A deficit which TJUN-ia managed to claw back 3 points into that deficit by the next two matchdays setting up quite an entertaining end to qualifying. More points over the next four matchdays allowed us to take the four point lead into the last two matchdays for TJUN-ia with us having one match to play and that too against TJUN-ia. This match would decide whether the side would make the playoffs or not, and as fate would have it the Bollonischians would be bested on the day failing to make the playoffs as TJUN-ia also recorded a win against Muralos putting them in the playoffs instead of us. A place in the playoffs lost on the very last matchday of Qualifying.

Irrespective of the fact that the playoff spot was lost on the last matchday and however heartbreaking that might be, Moteudi has done a fabulous job in turning the tide in his favour as the team looks to capitalise on the momentum from the WCQ in the Cup of Harmony to potentially strive for more success in the international sphere of football.

[Tumbra]

Matchday One Scores - Mertagnian Half

Group E
Ochre Islands 4–4 Xanneria
Cardenao 0–0 Eshialand
Krytenia 0–0 Mertagne

Group F
Bollonich 0–1 Kelssek
Eraman 0–1 Efnakia
Sargossa 4–4 Gortolekua

Group G
Oberour Ar Moro 2–2 Acastanha
Ceni 3–1 Mercedini
Tikariot 1–0 Wreckeria

Group H
Gnejs 0–1 Cabo Azure
Fort McKinley 2–1 Juvencus
Poafmersia 1–1 Kimi-Suomi

RP Bonus Information
For the purposes of these statistics, multiple RPs by one participant within a cutoff window will be counted as one combined RP.

33 participants earned RP bonus.
The mean RP score was 75.91% of the maximum.
The median RP score was 80.00% of the maximum.
The standard deviation of RP scores was 19.42%.
11 RPs scored 90% or higher of the maximum bonus.

Roster Bonus Information
This will be a one-time post.

48 participants posted a roster in the Cup of Harmony thread.
The mean roster bonus was 87.5%.
The median roster bonus was 83.3%.
The standard deviation of roster bonuses was 16.5%.

The next cutoff window will occur approximately 48 hours from this post.

edit: quick formatting correction

[Delte]

---

Indusse 2-1 Delte
Player-Reporter Kim Samrodd in Marray, Tumbra for the Oswark Parish Advertiser

---

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, but certainly mention should be made of poor Radmar Duntough who made his debut for The Representatives and had an evening to forget against the flocking blues (excuse my Audslavic), first equalising for the opposition in scoring a flocking own goal when defending a corner, heading over the stranded and flailing Osward Ess; then missing a flocking penalty in the 93rd minute which would have given us an ill-deserved equaliser to leave us joint top of the flocking group, nearly. As it is we are flocking bottom, almost. Coach Clentin told us before kick off this was a flocking must-win and you have to say, bless him, Radmar really flocked it up for all of us. If I sound emotional I really am not: I'm employing a device for amusement based on a fact I found out about Indusse fans who call themselves, yes, the Flocking Blues. In reality, although Radmar was undoubtedly disappointed with what happened, everyone is perfectly fine about matters and holds no grudge against him. Coach Clentin did point out that he's flocking dropped for the next match though, the useless flocker.

---

BOOM! KIM SAMRODD BLOWS UP THE INTERNET
2/5 Oswark Parish Advertiser (Editor's Office)

---

The editor of the Oswark Parish Advertiser was going through his syndicated news accounts to see if he could find anything interesting on the international newswires that would merit an inclusion in one of the blank spaces of the next edition of the Advertiser when he discovered that Kim Samrodd, the Language & Literature teacher at the Grammar School, had won an international award that he had clearly not bothered to tell anyone about (a different one to the one where he was recently voted one of the world’s pre-eminent football journalists). He was in the Boom! Baptism of Fire Best XI, apparently. Wasn’t that something to do with the Deltic Representative team who packed off to Farfadillis or somewhere recently? He checked with Polka Lunn, his sports correspondent. Indeed it was the same Kim Samrodd who had also acted as tournament correspondent when Polka, having read through the ‘Health & Safety in Farfadillis’ briefing, decided she had just caught the golden lion tamarinpox and had to miss the trip. As the editor recalled, Kim’s email match reports from the far far away had been moderately entertaining and had garnered a record low number of complaints from readers in Ughmirren, where complaining is part of their community identity. Impressed that Kim had won such a prestigious award and in typically stoical fashion had opted not to mention it to anyone in the valley, the editor decided to phone Kim for a comment. Surely, with such international recognition, he would be in line for a commemoration somewhere, courtesy of the Statue Maker’s School? They love a good statue opportunity in the valley, you know. Secretary Uski Roughus was typically awkward on the telephone at the Grammar School where Kim worked, refusing to connect him during school hours, so he had to leave a message for Kim to call him back at his earliest convenience. Whether the message didn’t get passed on by Uski - it wouldn’t surprise the editor, she was famously difficult - or whether Kim forgot or chose not to call back, there was anyway no return contact. The Editor decided it was time to do some real journalism for a change, got his coat and hat, and took the three-minute walk to the school gates. Of course he hadn’t met Kim, so didn’t know what he looked like, and had to ask around before finally meeting the man who had been writing the odd football report for him from the far far away.

Boom! award? Kim had no idea what he was talking about.

[Sargossa]

Anyone glancing in the direction of Sargossa national coach Alejandro Echeverría as he stood, arms tightly folded, on the edge of his technical area at Nine Star Arch must surely believe he was a deeply frustrated chap. I mean, he had to be. Surely? Certainly he’d never admit it. But in his playing days he was a technically gifted player of the highest order. So good was he that it wasn’t unheard of for his name to appear when pundits and fans alike wiled away the hours by naming the nation’s all-time best eleven. He has been that good. The players he coached on the other hand, they were not. Standing there on the touchline watching them unable to perform the feats he could must surely be a frustrating experience. The results made that frustration only worse.

It could only be Echeverría’s reputation as a player that had saved him from the axe as a national coach. He had enjoyed a decent start to the World Cup qualifiers, leading his side on an eight match unbeaten run to open the campaign. Then the wheels well and truly fell off. From the final thirty three points that were available, Echeverría’s Corsairs took just eight. They went on a run of seven defeats in ten games. Losing to the likes of Eraman, Aleirave, Milchama, Efnakia and Quakmybush. Two battling draws with runaway group leaders Banija were ultimately for naught as the nation’s World Cup chances collapsed entirely.

A lesser name in the dugout would surely have paid the price for the team’s failings. Indeed one axe had already fallen, with the resignation of Director of Elite Football Luís Molina in the wake of the nation’s exit from qualifying contention. It’s been suggested that only a successful Cup of Harmony tournament could keep the coach in a job. Which begs the question. What does a successful Cup of Harmony campaign actually look like? Certainly a side that performed so badly in the qualifiers can have no realistic expectation of lifting the trophy. So what then? A quarter final place perhaps? Just getting out of the group? As the nation’s standing in world football continues to plummet perhaps expectations need to be trimmed some what.

It may not even matter. As Echeverría watched both his side and Gortolekua manfully attempt to ‘capture the arch’, before both fell just short, rumours from back home suggested the team’s performance may not even matter. The Football Federation were apparently considering Miguel Marí as a possible replacement for Molina. Marí had been a part of the national side’s technical team before a bust up with the current coach saw him dismissed. But he clearly still held the favour of the Federation. Were he to be appointed the coach’s days could well be numbered, regardless of the side’s Cup of Harmony fortunes.

[Cardenao]

Official Name: The Kingdom of Cardenao Men’s National Football Team
Official Nation Name: The Federated Republic of Kingdom of Cardenao
Country Code: CAD
Officiating League: The Cardenian SuperLeague (CSL)
Officiating Body: The Cardenian Football Association (CFA)
Regional Officiating Body: CAFA LigAnaia
Records:
All-Time: 11-6-6
Under Manager Scooter McNash: 11-6-6
Titles: 0
Rank: 110
Nickname: The Blue and Golds
Style: +2.0 out of 5.0

Primary kit:

Alternate kit:

When RP'ing, the name of my players in BOLD are the national team starters. The name of my players in ITALICS are the names on their jersey and the name professional commentators would call out when making observations.

---

---

THE ROSTER

---

---

1- Ray Holland
Height: 6'3 - Weight: 194lbs – Age: 28 - Team: Cardenia CF

Comfortably the best Cardenian goalkeeper, Ray Holland is an expert shot stopper from all ranges. Standing tall at 6'3, his ability to close the angle and command his area make him dominant within the 18 yard box while his strength and bravery help him claim crosses and corners. What more could you want from your national team's starting goalkeeper? He's also tidy with his feet, though not entirely capable of pinging 45 yard passes precisely. He had a fairly unremarkable debut campaign for the national team, allowing four goals in three games during the 78th Baptism of Fire. Manager Scooter McNash will be hoping for some improvement heading into the World Cup.

Holland loves playing video games and can be found streaming online to his thousands of viewers where he chills, plays the most popular games, and smokes a fair amount of Marijuan.

Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: A
Caps: 23 - Goals Conceded: 46 - Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83


12- Iñaki Pena[/b]
[i]Height: 6'5 - Weight: 206lbs – Age: 18 - Team: Bananada CF

While still very much a youngster, Pena has a season and a half of top flight experience under his gloves after Bananada CF's starting goalkeeper suffered a freak career ending injury after dropping a bottle of cologne. The youngster has been totally brilliant thus far, with his height, incredible reflexes, and natural goaltending abilities making him the perfect long-term prospect. He does lack some coordination with his form on long range passing and goal kicks, so you can be sure he's practicing that. No gametime for him in the BoF and he’s unlikely to see much in the World Cup but Iñaki Pena will be the starting goalkeeper for the Cardenian U21 squad in the upcoming 59th Di Bradini Cup.

Still basically a child, Iñaki Pena still lives at home, is preparing to enter university where he plans to study environmental architecture, and spends his free time skateboarding with his friends. He's a good kid with a ton of potential, everyone is hoping he'll stay on the good path. With his money, profession, and striking good looks, his future is sure to be full of traps..

Rating: B - Team Relationship: B- - Morale: B - Form: B
Caps: 0 - Goals Conceded: 0 - Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Left Defenders:
2- Hendrix Salvador
Height: 180cm - Weight: 84kg – Age: 25 years old - Team: Perce Town (QUE)

Hendrix Cha is a fluid leftback with good footwork and speed. Solid transition with accurate corners and crosses. Now a 25 year old player who has always been one of the better leftbacks in Quebec, he has chosen to represent Cardenao due to his mother, Mariela Ventura-Cha, being fullblooded Cardenian. Hendrix is eager to represent our healing country as one of the team's better players with his outstanding passing and tackling complimenting his defensive positioning and offensive dribbling and crossing abilities. He put that to good use during the BoF, where he locked down the left flank about as well as he could’ve done before Cardenao was unceremoniously dumped out of the group stage.

Hendrix is a party monster, always seen out in town until the morning hours, and club teams will undoubtedly be hoping their prized youngsters stay far far away from him off the pitch.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: C - Morale: B - Form: A
Caps: 23 - Goals: 2 - Assists: 3 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

13- Theodore Capella
Height: 183cm - Weight: 86kg – Age: 29 years old - Team: Catamulina Catarollas

Theo is a fairly prototypical left back, strong in defense with a good sense of positioning pairing well with his timing on making a standing tackle. He’s the most solid defensive leftback in Cardenao and he’s got good enough offensive skills to be more than passable when complimenting attacking movement. He’s got tidy passing, simple yet effective dribbling, and he’s strangely good at heading so that might just come in handy during corner kick routines. While not making an appearance during the Baptism of Fire, the much higher level of play in the World Cup might afford Theo some playing time.

Somewhat eccentric off the pitch, Theo has developed a reputation as an enthusiast of fashion and artwork sporting outlandish outfits on his way to local art galleries in one of his many equally outlandishly decorated sports cars. Despite the occasional off putting flair, he is known by friends as a man with a big heart who volunteers his time at local adoption centers.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B
Caps: 3 - Goals: 0 - Assists: 0 - Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Central Defenders
5- Robert Rojas
Height: 186cm - Weight: 75kg – Age: 32 years old - Team: Sareña CF

The absolute core of the Blue and Golds defense, Robert Rojas is a very well rounded defender who truly does it all from centerback. While he might not truly excel at one single thing, it is his proficiency in all aspects of the game that make him invaluable. His sense of positioning lends itself well to his cool demeanor and sense for cutting out passes, while his tackling and ability to mark his opponent and hold the line in defense see him marshaling the defense with smart passing to play the ball safely to the midfield. While he was strong for the most part in the 78th BoF, fans did notice a lack of pace compared to Rojas’ younger years; this led to a mistake in the 4-1 group stage loss against the Forbidden Territories.

Despite his calm stoic on the field persona, he was well known in his younger days for being a bit of a party animal. Now happily settled down with his wife Mariana and two children, Robert Rojas can be found

Rating: A – Team Relationship: A – Morale: A – Form: A
Apps: 22 - Goals: 1 - Assits:[i] 1 - [u]Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

15- Shandon Grandillon
Height: 185cm - Weight: 83kg – Age: 29 years old - Team:November City FC

Shandon Grandillon is a wonderful ball playing defender who effortlessly pings the ball across the field from his position deep in defense. He has great positioning but is fairly lacking in the marking area while his slide tackles are not…the best. He pours his heart into everything he does though and his ability to play out of any trouble has made him invaluable. Grandillon did struggle against the Forbidden Islands in the 78th BoF, making two mistakes that sunk Cardenao to a 4-1 loss in the ‘win or go home’ final group match so his spot is by no means guaranteed.

Outside of football, Grandillon is known for vacationing all across Cardenao with his favored spots appearing to be the West Cardenian Islands and the San Gabriel mountain range in East Cardenao. He’s very under the radar but has been spotted dating various Cardenian models over the years, taking them for joyrides in his matte green sports cars.

Rating: B+ - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A
Caps: 23 - Goals: 0 - Assits: 0 - [u]Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

19- Emmanuel Odita
Height: 6'3 - Weight: 191lbs – Age: 19 - Team: Tribolé Vaqueros

Emmanuel Odita is the most promising Cardenian defensive prospect in a generation. Already built like a man at 19 years of age, Odita packs crunching tackles into his 6'3 frame and his aggressive mentality see him seek out every opportunity to leave the opponent signed with an Odita bruise. He has a very sharp sense of positioning for his youth and won't hesitate to scream at teammates who aren't holding the line. Not only is Emmanuel tall and strongly built, but he is quite quick and also rather rapid, darting around the defense and using his teamwork to shut down any opposing threat. He had two tidy, if not quite remarkable appearances off the bench in the Baptism of Fire, coming on and making some good challenges, neat passes, playing as well as you would like from a substitute defender.

Odita spends his free time in the gym to refine his strength, video room to improve his mentality, and on the pitch just messing around having fun. He has been spotted training hard on his ability to pass the ball, hoping to transition from a physical hardman to one with technical skills and the ability to play out of trouble, a trait certainly needed as these poor lads come up against the worlds best.

Rating: B- - Team Relationship: B+ - Morale: A - Form: B+
Caps: 9 - Goals: 0 - Assists Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Right Defenders:

3- Dylan Mathers Captain
Height: 5'11 - Weight: 166lbs – Age: 24 - Team: Cardenia CF

The ultimate professional, Dylan Mathers entire life has lead to this moment. First forced by his father to kick a ball at one and a half, Mathers has spent his life since then dedicated to becoming the best player he can be. And damn is he good. One of the best Cardenian players alive, Dylan Mathers runs the game from right back, where his offensive and defensive qualities combine to make him one of a kind. Equally capable of hitting a switching 50 yard through ball as he is chasing down a striker and performing a last second challenge, Dylan leads the team from right back. His sense of positioning and ability to play as a member of the team help him coordinate offensive and defensive movement. He is incredibly quick and agile, able to dart through passages of play effortlessly making use of his world class touch to keep the ball right where he needs it. He was great in the Baptism of Fire, commanding the defensive line, getting dribbled past only once, while organizing play from wide right and contributing to the attacking movement. He will have to level up his play even more during this World Cup if Cardenao wants to avoid finishing last in our group.

A recent uptick in drinking has fans worried as for the 24 years prior, Dylan Mathers has been the ultimate professional. A total machine dedicated to football, he was still showing up to professional matches in his grandfather’s car while spending a quarter of a million on personal fitness and culinary specifications.

Rating: A+ – Team Relationship: A+ – Morale: A+ – Form: A+
Caps: 23 - Goals: 3 - Assists: 5 - [u]Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

16- Johan van Maria Mata
Height: 5'8 - Weight: 153lbs – Age: 28 years old - Team: Mayflower FC

Mr. Maria Mata is a marauding fullback who views defensive duties as a secondary choice. Still fast as lighting, Johan races up and down the right flank looking to take advantage of his dribbling and one-two passing abilities to slice through opposing defenses. His crossing ability has slowly come together over the years to where it poses somewhat a threat, but it's more his midfield contributions that make Maria Mata such a threat. He has the pace and stamina to charge up the flank the whole game, and can tackle decently well to be a good enough defender, but his positioning is sorely lacking. Maria Mata failed to grace the field in the Baptism of Fire so he’ll be hoping for his opportunity to make his mark during the World Cup qualifying campaign.

Johan van Maria Mata is a noted boating enthusiast and has eschewed the usual exotic car collection for a custom boating fleet with a classically restored sailboat and glass bottomed everglade crawler among his favorites. He is notable for being unnotable.
Rating: B- – Team Relationship: A – Morale: A – Form: B
Caps: 1 - Goals: 0 - Assists: Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Defensive Midfielders:

4- Diego Valenzuela Vice-Captain
Height: 6'1 - Weight: 170lbs – Age: 21- Team: Jucuacanos Silver Surfers)

A strong defensive midfielder, Diego Valenzuela commands play from his position in the heart of midfield. With fantastic passing over all distances, Val dictates tempo with a calm, calculating approach to the game that would suggest a man 15 years his senior. Only 21, Valenzuela is expected to be a leader in the team for years to come, with his defensive positioning extinguishing opposing attacks before they can become thoughts and his lifelong displays of leadership ensure the team will be looking to him for motivation. Instrumental for his homeside Jucuacanos Silver Surfers, the emergence of Cardenao onto the world stage have prompted rumors of Val looking for higher profile moves both domestic and foreign. He is notoriously ice-cold in his approach to the game, never feeling the pressure and keeping every bit of himself in check.

With the induction of Giampietro Vera as a ball-progressing midfielder next to him, Diego Valenzuela adopted a more defensive posture and played the role excellently. He operated as a sort of defensive-minded quarterback, shoring up the midfield and pinging out accurate long range passes and keeping things running smoothly.

When not playing football, Diego is a hobbyist racing driver. 'Something about the combination of speed, movement, changing environment, the non-stop calculations going into all of it' are what drive him to paraphrase his own words. Interesting stuff. Val has been dating girlfriend, Selena Marchiaza, since high school, and is frequently seen touring around Cardenao with her.

Rating: A- – Team Relationship: A – Morale: A – Form: A
Caps: 21 - Goals: 2 - Assists: 3 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78

8- Giampietro Vera
Height: 5'9 - Weight: 148lbs – Age: 26 - Team: November City FC

Giampietro Vera plays the game like a violin. Delicate short and long range passing, precise dribbles that brought the ball just out of range of the opponent, and his incredible acceleration helped him bound away from any challenge. He is lacking in the defensive realm of the game with poor tackling and a bad sense of positioning mean playing him as a purely defensive player would be offensive to the game of football. He does have a good sense of one on one defending, but that isn't a guarantee of any sort of safety.

National team manager Scooter McNash took the interesting decision of moving Vera to the defensive midfield to use Giampietro as a quick outlet from defensive pressure to blast into the attack and this has worked supremely well thus far.
Caps: 22 - Goals: 2 - Assists: 5 [u]Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

19- Abwooli Isaza - 19
Height: 6'4 - Weight: 203lbs – Age: 19 - Team: Escuela Nacíonal DCPF

Abwooli is another part-foreign international who has elected to represent the Federal Republic of the Kingdom of Cardenao. With parents from Busukuma, Banija Abwooli Isaza has always been insanely physically gifted. A dual sport athlete in high school excelling in gridiorn football and track, football was only a side-hobby until he realized he could also perform tackles (albeit in a different manner) in the beautiful game as well. With his very aggressive personality, fantastic sense of positioning, timing, and a natural ability to use his long legs to poke the ball away it was only a brief amount of time before Escuela Nacíonal DCPF, Cardenao's premier youth academy, to pick him up and hone his talents. He is certainly raw, but between his killer attitude in the weight room, training ground, and matchday pitch, to his party hard 'rules don't apply to me' demeanor, Abwooli Isaza make him a very interesting prospect. He performed well in his brief international debut, winning some tackles and making some passes, and will be a starter for the Cardenian delegation to the 53rd Di Bradini Cup.

He's also a king tier trash talker, which is a total break from the Cardenian norm and that has made Abwooli a bit of a national sensation, with his smack talk compilations gaining tens of thousands of views online.
Rating: B- – Team Relationship: C – Morale: A+ – Form: A-
Caps: 10 - Goals: 1 - Assists: 0 [u]Tournaments Played:Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

Neutral Midfielders:

6- Haritz Larrainzar
Height: 5'9 - Weight: 152lbs – Age: 23 - Team: (Cardenia CF)

A complete technical midfielder, Haritz Larranizar plays defense and offense with equal elegance to such a degree that he is one of the best overall Cardenain players. Second only to fellow national teamer Kenway Alexander as best passers of the ball, Haritz pairs that with incredible vision and a strong tackling ability to act as the ideal complete midfielder. He is quick, with a good burst of acceleration and higher pace, and it's his ability to get free in the channels that make him interesting in the lineup national team manager Scooter McNash has Haritz Larrainzar set up in. With his slinky off the ball skills, it seems he will drift into whatever channel is free to provide an excellent passing option for Giampietro Vera bursting into the attacking portion of play. He likes to play one-twos and dictate tempo, while using his world class eye and ability for a pass to thread the killer ball. He had a brilliant Baptism of Fire

Such a patient passer, it only makes sense Larrainz likes to participate in the other Cardenian pastime, fishing, when he isn't playing football. He prefers hitting the flooded land-bridge between East and West Cardenao, a memory of a long-passed invader. He really likes techno music, and can be found at various high and low profile raves across Cardenao with his trademark highlighter orange beanie and intentionally terrible fake beards.
Rating: A+ – Team Relationship: A+ – Morale: A – Form: A+
Caps: 23 - Goals: 3 - Assists: 8 - [u]Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

14- Kenway Alexander
Height: 5'8 - Weight: 160lbs – Age: 32 - Team: Küsbon Town

A legend of the Cardenian game, it is only fitting Kenway Alexander makes his international debut and retirement during the Federal Republic of the Kingdom of Cardenao's maiden international football voyage. For the entirely of his 16 year career, Kenway has been the most gifted passing player in the Cardenian SuperLeague, with a supernatural ability to play the perfect pass no matter the distance nor the angle, and the vision to supplement that. While he used to be a mobile, decent defensive presence, he has lost the burst of pace that made him effective meaning that his role is now solely to control the pace of game and rely on others to perform the defensive heavywork. He can still put in a tackle if need be but hunting down the ball is not going to happen. Kenway had a stellar sub appearance in the 3-1 victory against Kuraita in Cardenao’s first ever game, controlling the passage of play that led to the final goal of the match.

Long a perfect ambassador of the Cardenain SuperLeague, Kenway Alexander spends his time volunteering at various outreach events, performing charitable work at social programs, and visits the same few local nondescript restaurants and shops he has been for his entire career.

Rating: B – Team Relationship: A – Morale: A – Form: B
Caps: 6 - Goals: 2 - Assists: 1 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78

Attacking Midfielders:

10- Jayful Archer
Height: 5'10 - Weight: 162lbs – Age: 28 - Team: November City FC

With a very offensive-minded footballing style and slightly above zero defensive work rate, Jayful Archer is the definition of a luxury player but damn is he good at it. A wonderfully creative player with endlessly inventive little dinked passed over defenders legs, he will be brought on from the bench whenever that 20 flair/20 creativity player is needed to unlock the toughest defenses and find the final, last minute killer ball. Jayful Archer was brilliant in two sub appearances during the 78th Baptism of Fire, registering a beautiful assist to Juanma Saez in the opening match and will be expected to continue his good displays off the bench during the Worrld Cup.

Off the pitch, Mr. Archer has three dogs, two parrots, a Banijan hairless cat, and six beater cars done up in various offroading setups. He is an interesting man.

Rating: B+ – Team Relationship: C+ – Morale: A+ – Form: A-
[size=80]Caps: 9 - Goals: 0 - Assists: 3 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

21- Rafa DiSantos
Height: 5'6 - Weight: 138lbs – Age: 18 - Team: Escuela Nacíonal DCPF
One of the younger members of the national team, Rafa DiSantos will certainly be feeling the pressure to make something of it. While a bit over 18 years of age, DiSantos plays a midfield game better than…well…every other Cardenian footballers not selected for the national team. His passing and ability to find the killer ball are already at a very high level, and his quickness and deft dribbling touch help him dance over poorly timed tackles. He has a calm mentality and looks for the pass before trying to shoot, and seems fairly oblivious to the pressure heaped on his shoulders to be the long term mainstay in the national team midfield. Rafa DiSantos has secured a starting position for the 53 Di Bradini Cup and is expected to be a leader for the team from his position in the midfield.

Playing for his lifelong Escuela Nacíonal DCPF, Rafa DiSantos has always been the standout player on the pitch. Off the pitch however? His agent, his father and former professional footballer Pietro DiSantos, keeps him hidden away from the public eye.

Rating: B- – Team Relationship: C – Morale: C+ – Form: A+
Caps: 5 - Goals: 0 - Assists: 1 - [u]Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83[/i]

Left Wingers:
7- Ibai Acosta-Vargas
Height: 5'8 - Weight: 147lbs – Age: 27 - Team: Alameda Desperados

Bringing elite level speed and acceleration to the starting lineup, Ibai Acosta-Vargas will be expected to stretch the play and use his physical gifts to race onto through balls and sending in a pass to Juanma Saez in the middle. Ibai has a delightful array of first-encounter dribbling moves that let him dance beyond a defender and burst into open space. Acosta-Vargas can't shoot unless he has a real real good shot on goal, but that isn't why he's been brought into the team, and he knows that. Which makes him an even better player! He had a very strong Baptism of Fire campaign, assisting the first ever Cardenian National Team goal and generally proving to be the most consistent offensive threat. All eyes will be on him at the World Cup.

Off the field, Acosta-Vargas isn't afraid to splash his money on visually imparting displays of his wealth; the freshest clothes, the nicest kicks, the various rented sports cars so he can spend that money hanging out with his Cardenian Basketball League friends out in town.

Rating: B – Team Relationship: A – Morale: A – Form: B[/color]
Caps: 23 - Goals: 2 - Assists: 14 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

22- [i]Graysão Sandora
Height: 6'1 - Weight: 160lbs – Age: 20 - Team: Escuela Nacíonal DCPF

An interesting yet also somewhat stereotypical case, Graysão Sandora is an incredibly talented dribbler full of self-confidence but he is also quite a bit of a…well…selfish knob to put it bluntly. That being said, his ability to dribble combined with that same confidence and developing finishing and it’s sometimes the recipe for success. He’s a decent passer but that's about the 6th thing that comes to his mind, so head coach McNash will be hoping to get Graysão to embrace passing to broaden both of their attacking options. Unfortunately Graysão is prone to lashing out in unprofessional and dirty fouls in his young career, as he is a bit of a spoiled brat, so maturation will be needed to fulfill his development. He was selected to be a starter in the Di Bradini Cup and will be expected to be one of the better players on the squad.

Off the pitch Graysão drives exotic cars with the latest popular online model entertainer in the passenger seat, parties at late night clubs, and has been 'allegedly' spotted enjoying finer substances that can be plentifully found in Cardenao. Sports cars and college parties because he is (unfortunately) that guy.

Rating: B – Team Relationship: C – Morale: A+ – Form: B
Caps: 1 - Goals: 0 - Assists: 0 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Strikers:
9- Juanma Saez
Height: 5'10 - Weight: 165lbs – Age: 26 years old - Team: Cardenia FC

A classic striker with exceptional shooting, Juanma loves moving into the open channel to use his decent dribbling and first touch to roll onto goal and shoot with his right foot into the keepers left sidenet. He's a great finisher and always stays alert to the game, using his off the ball ability to give his defender a fakeout and head into open space. Buildup play isn't Juanma's strong suit, so if his attack through the center is blocked off, then there's not really much he can contribute to the attack. But damn can he shoot the ball and that’s what you want from your starting striker. He scored Cardenao’s first international goal in the 78th Baptism of Fire and will be looking to increase his tally of two goals for the Blue and Golds.

Off the pitch he enjoys jetskiing and bird hunting, he also owns a minority stake in the popular tequila company Mejíto.

Rating: A+ – Team Relationship: A+ – Morale: A+ – Form: A+
Caps: 23 - Goals: 17 - Assists: 3 - Tournaments Played: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

20- Yeison Mesa
Height: 6'6 - Weight:198lbs – Age: 23 - Team: Purellía Villa

When Yeison Mesa walks into the room, he commands attention. Standing at 6'6 and with a build that screams hunk, the tall and quick striker from his hometown Purellía Villais a slayer on and off the pitch. Yeison has a superbly delicate touch that his height wouldn't suggest while he has a fantastic ability to pull off the right simple move to get into lethal shooting territory. With those skills and his ability to weasel free off the ball, to foreign observer's it might be surprising Yeison isn't starting but the truth is for every incredible game he has there are three where he is hit or miss with his abilities.

The nature of the Baptism of Fire campaign meant Yeison Mesa didn’t see the pitch for as much as a second. Some argue he should trade off the starting role with Juanma Saez, that would be sacrificing supreme finishing for incredible athletic and dribbling abilities. We’ll see how that all plays out.

Rating: B+ – Team Relationship: B – Morale: B+ – Form: A
Ca[s: 15 - Goals: 5 - Assists:[u] 1 - [u]Tournaments Played Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

23- Chímo Ventura
Height:5'10 - Weight:153lbs – Age: 17 - Team: Escuela Nacíonal DCPF

Chímoooooo! So goes the popular chant from the Escuela Nacíonal DCPF faithful who have watched this particular talent blaze through the youth teams scoring goals for absolute laughs before participating in friendly matches for the senior Escuela Nacíonal DCPF team where his first few goals were attributed for beginners luck in being in the right place at the right time but it quickly became clear that there was more of a natural ability to find the veins of play. Chímo exploits every defensive error before him and used his creative dribbling and shooting talents to work his way into the right position.

Chímo has long been hyped up and here he is, the youngest player on the national team and a lovable meme due to the fun ease of yelling "Chíiiiiiimooooooooooooo" and it sent the country into a frenzy when he scored within a minute of his National Team debut off the bench. It's too early to tell what his private life is all about, a strong family structure sees Chímo avoid the limelight and hone his game at the Escuela Nacíonal training complex.

Rating: B+ – Team Relationship: B+ – Morale: A – Form: A
Caps: 12 - Goals: 6 - Assists:[u] 0 - [u]Tournaments Played Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

Right Wingers:
11- Chevaughn Williams
Height:6'4 - Weight: 207lbs – Age: 28 - Team: Escuela Nacíonal DCPF

Chevaugn fills a unique role in the Cardenian attack as a hulking 6'4 presence who takes advantage of his size to bully his defender. The big man still boasts a strong back to goal passing game which is certainly helpful with building up to a situation where his height, strong off the ball ability, and decent physical ability help him bludgeon his defender and create opportunities for Chevaughn to score. That's all he wants to do so it's a good match that the point of football is to score more goals than the other team, it's science.

Chevaughn Williams had a decent Baptism of Fire, scoring once against Kuraita before failing to really make an impact for the rest of the tournament. He definitely has a role to play in the team, does it involve him starting? That remains to be seen.

Rating: B – Team Relationship: B – Morale: B+ – Form: B
Caps: 21 - Goals: 2 - Assists:[u] 1 - [u]Tournaments Played Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

18- Fabrizio Viscarra
Height:5'9 - Weight: 153lbs – Age: 27 - Team: Conchara Marítima

A very quick, flashy dribbler, Fabrizio Viscarra loves bombing up the right flank using his inventive, unpredictable dribbling to slice through opposing defenses before sliding a fairly accurate pass or cross into the middle. He can't shoot to save his life but considering that's not why he was brought to the national team. He's here to be a pest, a menace, a mosquito turboing around the pitch creating opportunities for other players.

Viscarra made a sole appearance at the Baptism of Fire but used it well, registering 5 completed dribbles, most of his passes, and a pair of accurate shots on goal. Much more to come from him hopefully during the long campaign ahead. Off the field the man is an absolute menace at dancing clubs, taking every good opportunity to hit the floor and dance the night away. His hips do not lie.
Rating: B- – Team Relationship: B – Morale: B+ – Form: B
Caps: 11 - Goals: 1 - Assists:[u] 2 - [u]Tournaments Played Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

---

---

PLAYER RESPONSIBILITIES

---

---

Captain: Dylan Mathers
Vice-Captain: Diego Valenzuela
Third Captain: Robert Rojas

Kick Takers (in order of ability)
Free kicks: Harritz Larrainzar
Right corners: Harritz Larrainzar
Left corners: Giampietro Vera
Penalties: Juanma Saez

---

---

Head Coach: Scooter McNash
Height: 6'1 – Weight: 178lbs – Age 49 years old – Club Team: None

A striking legend in his younger days, the eccentric Scooter McNash took the lead of the Cardenian national team during our maiden outing and has been absolutely outstanding, leading the team to the 110 world ranking and narrowly missing out on qualifying for the World Cup proper in an intense campaign. What will the Cup of Harmony hold for the team?

Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: B - Confidence:A
Tourn. Coached: Baptism of Fire 78, World Cup 91, Cup of Harmony 83

---

---

PRIMARY FORMATION

---

---

-------HOLLAND-------

---MATHERS(c)--ROJAS--GRANDILLON--HENDRIX---

-----VERA---VALENZUELA(vc)-----

-------LARRAINZAR-------

----CHEVAUGHN---JUANMA---ACOSTA-VARGAS----

Roleplay Permissions

---

---

Choose my goal scorers: Yes
Injury to my players: No.
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: No
Hand out Red cards to my players: No
Godmod Other Events: No.

[Baggieland]

[Xanneria]

A quick guide to major Xannerian mountain ranges!

(Cleardeway 34' Gibson 62' D'arcy 68' (OG), Builder 72' ) Ochre Islands 4-4 Xanneria (Burns 46' 82', Gibson 5' (OG), Gasey 90+2')

[Audioslavia]

Fighting for Yue
Styrn 'proud' of fightback by young bulls

For so long, it appeared that RJ Styrn's gamble was backfiring. She's not the first manager to go with a striker-less formation for a major tournament (Sean Patterick beat her to it by a few cycles), but she is the first two do so as a last resort. Patterick had options up front, but wanted to go 5-5-0. Styrn has tried every combination she can think of in the striker position and has decided none of them are up to the task.

And so, on Sunday night, Brandao (left footed left midfielder), Cappadonna (playmaker), Roy (marauding attacking midfielder), Stelea (box-to-box midfielder who likes receiving the ball from his defence, Corkhill (ball-winning defender-turned-midfielder) and Letexier (step-over merchant right winger) lined up as the Bulls' six most advanced players ahead of a back four of Volonte, Flat, Mata-Curie and Duran, with young Shamrock keeper Constance Creighton in nets. It's a style of play that is designed to be as safe as possible but is, at the same time, a gamble. What do you do if you fall behind? And what do you do if you fall further behind?

And so it went.

Former AS Marcadia full-back Giacomo Duran momentarily forgot Jiang Jieren, of Osarese Marcadia, was a natural right-footer and so allowed the winger enough space to curl in a shot from the corner of the box for 1-0, before veteran striker Huiying Liu took a delicious touch to control a whipping diagonal ball from Shedong. Liu's second act was to hook the ball goalwards, watching it skim across the turf and beyond a flat-footed Creighton for two-nothing.

That goal, early in the second half, had the Audioslavians reeling, and for the next ten minutes Yuezhou came close to making it three-nil on numerous occasions, most notably from Liu's reverse ball to Huang Shedong, in behind the defence, only for the forward to fluff his lines, hesitating too long, allowing Creighton to close the gap, and striking the ball at the keeper's chest.

Audioslavia's goal came soon after. A counter-attack, naturally enough, if an artless one, with Letexier reaching a bouncing ball first and hooking it in the general direction of the edge of the area, where Helios Roy managed to bring the ball under his spell at the second time of asking and sliced a shot beyond Zhao to halve the deficit.

Styrn, who may have been feeling the pressure to throw on a striker for a midfielder (or a defender, or *anyone* for christ sake), instead brought on Tiago Brown, a full-back, to replace Giacomo Duran in a like-for-like swap. Tiago Brown, one of the national team's most influential players in recent cycles largely due to his pace (okay, *entirely* due to his pace) isn't quite the super athlete he once was, but can still run himself into the ground if needed. He ended up creating nothing except the occasional bit of panic in the Yuezhou defence, and it was on one such occasion that the Bulls managed to force a chance. Jiawei had just about coped with Brown on that side, but conceded a sloppy corner under pressure in the 78th minute. Archer Flat rose to meet Letexier's cross, powered a fierce header home, and celebrated like he was furious with the sky for existing, aiming punches at it while his team-mates tried, and failed, to hug him.

A two-all draw is not, as RJ Styrn well knows, good enough at all for a team who have their sights well and truly set on winning this tournament. Audioslavia, one of a handful of teams capable of winning the WCC Triple Crown (Baptism of Fire, Cup of Harmony, World Cup), are a team that rarely drops down into the Cup of Harmony (though watch this space, readers!) so this may be the only chance in a generation for the side to join Sarzonia, Nephara and Turori in that elite (don't laugh) group.

The pre-tournament chatter was about whether Cassadaigua, Starblaydia and Eura could stand in Audioslavia's way. Now? It may well be Yuezhou, Delte and Indusse doing the blocking.

[Indusse]

⚖
Supreme Court of Indusse
Official Statement

---

For Immediate Release

This statement is released on the light of the recent verdicts regarding the seperate cases filed by Petitioner Ernest Bullaway, aged fourty six from Neagra Merchant Docks against the below defendants numbered (i) to (vi).

(i) Indussean Football Association [IFA]
(ii) Indussean Basketball Federation [IBF]
(iii) National Racket Sports Forum [NRSF], containing National Tennis Association, Table Tennis Federation of Indusse and Indussean Badminton Conference
(iv) National Cricket Board of Indusse  [NCBI]
(v) Chess Federation of Indusse [CFI]
(vi) Indussean Motorsport Corporation [IMC]

The above six cases filed by the petitioner on the defendants of similar nature, that is being sports governing bodies in the nation claiming corruption, misuse of power and flow of black money in the international market. The court had appointed a seven member commision to investigate on this case and seperate verdicts were given for each of them. From the six cases, three of them were won by the defendants [ IFA, IBF, NRSF] and the rest three by the petitioner. These bunch of cases have been sorted out and will be called from now on as "Ernest Bullaway vs Sports Federations of Indusse". The court found three sporting Federations guilty of charges and has decided to punish the current office bearers with two year imprisonment and permanent bar from participating in governing related services. The court has understood a need of setting up a government monitored body for all sports from which the sport federations are part of. Except Indussean Football Association and Indussean Basketball Federation all the rest of the bodies would have their boards dissolved and the court would be choosing a new board with a government representative, legal representative and subject related representatives. The court has asked the National government to appoint a Minister of Sports to be the government representative in the matter.

The new board of directors of these new bodies and the new Sports Federation members would be announced in the upcoming days after discussion with the legal bench of the cases and the government authorities. The court has also ordered for a complete check-up of the sporting squads of the corrupt sporting Federations to make sure no illegal admissions have happened. The Legal representative from the court would be Senior advocate D.K. Patwali for a time period of six months until the Judges board choses another representative. The Government is asked to appoint a minister within 24 hours and submit the minister as the representative of the government to the sporting Federations.

Regards,

sd/-
G. Purushottam Das
Chief Justice of Indusse