World Cup 91 [roleplays]

by **Farfadillis** » Tue May 03, 2022 5:43 pm

This is the roleplay thread for World Cup 91, as you may have guessed from the thread title. Please do not post about administrative matters (spam, double posting, etc.) and leave that to the OPs and mods to sort out. Posts here should be strictly IC, with OOC comments properly labeled as such.

QUALIFYING GROUPS

WORLD CUP GROUPS

Group A
Saint Eleanor
Nyowani Kitara
Græntfjall
Squidroidia

Group B
Tumbra
Jeruselem
Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom
Valanora

Group C
Commonwealth of Baker Park
Vilita
Drawkland
Pemecutan

Group D
Flavovespia
The Holy Empire
Nephara
Adab

Group E
Pasarga
Huayramarca
Farfadillis
Delaclava

Group F
Ko-oren
Brenecia
Hapilopper
Squornshelan Remnant States

Group G
Trolleborg
Turori
Kandorith
Savigliane

Group H
Mytanija
Zwangzug
Independent Athletes from Quebec
Banija

Schedule:
MD1: Tuesday, June 7
MD2: Thursday June 9
MD3: Saturday, June 11
Ro16: Monday, June 13
QF: Wednesday, June 15
SF: Friday, June 17
TPPO: Saturday, June 18
Final: Sunday, June 19

Farfadillis will be scorinating Groups A to D and Græntfjall will be scorinating Groups E to H. Their cut-off windows will be 02:00-04:00 UTC and 23:00-00:00 UTC, respectively.

If you have any questions about how all of this works, please contact the World Cup hosts or ask in the Discussion thread.

by **Graintfjall** » Tue May 03, 2022 5:44 pm

Welcome to the White Winter Queendom of Græntfjall.

Football is traditionally a summer sport in Græntfjall, and this tournament is being held in late summer once the domestic fixtures are finished, meaning the autumn chill is starting to set in. Græntfjall lies on the northern side of Pavola, in Rushmore; despite lying on the temperate meridian, the combination of the fierce winds coming off the Komodo Channel and the tall Græntfjaller Alps, forming a natural protective border, have created a localized climate of extreme cold even in summer. You can expect temperatures in the single figures (centigrade; 40s Fahrenheit); rain or sleet, and towards the end of the tournament flakes of snow in the air; and bitter wind-chill.

Græntfjallers are hardy Nords, descended (in their mythic lore) from Viking age sackers and salvagers. The country has relatively recently emerged from decades of communist oppression, but has entered the 21st century with a surging economy, rising social freedoms, and new, if slightly complex, democratic politics. The royal family was reinstalled and Queen Júlíana sits on the throne, reigning in a mostly ceremonial role, while real power is located in the Thing, the national parliament where Prime Minister Kaija Michaelsdóttir leads the Progressive Liberals in a center-right coalition government with the Liberal-Conservative Alliance.

Græntfjall is famous for continuing whaling long after most other countries had abandoned the barbaric practice, but in reality whale meat is a rare commodity in modern Græntfjall and tourists are far more likely to encounter imitation products like lab-grown “Incomprehensible Whaleburger” or purely synthetic “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Blubber!”. Otherwise, the diet tends towards plain, hearty fare. Strong spices and fresh fruits are available, but can be expensive as they are almost wholly dependent on imports. Græntfjallers have a strong tradition of beer drinking; for hard liquors, various clear grain alcohols are the general preference, while most countries list Græntfjaller wines on annexes of chemical weapons control lists. Smoking is permitted but not widely practised; marijuana is legal.

Græntfjaller society can be quite conservative, especially outside of the major cities. Generally speaking, the further west one travels, the more sympathies to life under the old communist regime you will find expressed while to the east, more virulent anti-communism prevails; the further north, the more cosmopolitan, modern, and secular outlooks prevail, while to the south, royalist, Catholic, ethnic supremacist tendencies reign supreme. The state religion is Roman Catholicism. The vast majority of Græntfjallers are Catholic, though folk traditions incorporating Norse mythology are also common. Homosexuality is legal and homophobic hate crimes both strictly policed and thankfully rare. Transgender rights are more limited. Rigid gender norms prevail in some strata of society (especially in the south) and are no more obvious than in the country’s naming traditions, which are strictly patronymic: -son surnames for men, -dóttir for women, -bur for gender-neutral persons.

Græntfjallers can be perceived as a bit mercenary. The country has a long history of merchant trading (and an intermittent history of ruthless piracy) and you will generally find that the smiles of your hosts extend only as far as the krónor in your pocket. Color-based racism is sadly not unknown, anti-Islamic sentiment is strong, and there is a bristling tide of anti-immigrant agitation in some working class districts of the major cities, as well as agitation over the many refugees who have arrived in recent years. Freedom of expression is enshrined in the constitution but in practice there are some restrictions, two of the most notable being a ban on the public display of swastikas, hammers-and-sickles, ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ logos, and other such offensive imagery; and a prohibition on face coverings, widely interpreted as a ‘burqa ban’.

Football is the most popular sport in the country. The fiercest domestic rivalry is between the North Háttmark clubs Gunzlach and Steinaux, who regularly vie for the title in the Græntfaller Premier League, along with western team Altendalur and South Háttmark side [GT] Molding. Græntfaller fans are generally fairly welcoming of foreign teams and tend to be appreciative of skills that their own rather leaden players (often stereotyped, more or less fondly, as “Big Fucking Græntfallers”) are incapable of. Græntfall does not have a tradition of football hooliganism or firms, and crowd control at games will be strict to prevent any such trouble. Moderate alcohol consumption is permitted in most stadiums.

Venues & Schedule

The following schedule is IC only; OOC, all games will be scorinated at the regular cutoff time (2300-0000 UTC).

The main impact of timing will be temperature: even in the artificially heated stadiums, the 21:00 games will be played in cold conditions (meaning it is not just for TV ratings purposes that all of the home team's games have been scheduled in this timeslot!). The earlier time slot games will be warmer, with the sun setting during the course of the 18:00 games (potentially casting very long shadows).

Weather are ICly forecasts only: you may RP conditions differently should you wish.

MD0
18:30 Opening ceremony
21:00 Græntfjall v Nyowani Kitara @ Grander International Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still

MD1
15:00 Saint Eleanor v Squidroidia @ Florus Stadion, Altendalur Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
18:00 Tumbra v Valanora @ GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
21:00 Jeruselem v Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom @ Laxenvöllur, Mühlrich Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, still

MD2
15:00 Baker Park v Pemecutan @ Laxenvöllur, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
18:00 Vilita v Drawkland @ OptiFone Arena, Folte Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still
21:00 Flavovespia v Adab @ Fjlarkfjall Arena, Þingsnitz Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still

MD3
15:00 The Holy Empire v Nephara @ VG Arena, Maigburg Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
18:00 Saint Eleanor v Nyowani Kitara @ Laxenvöllur, Mühlrich Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still
21:00 Græntfjall v Squidroidia @ GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro, Háttmark Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still

MD4
15:00 Tumbra v Jeruselem @ Fjlarkfjall Arena, Þingsnitz Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, still
18:00 Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom v Valanora @ Grand National Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, still
21:00 Baker Park v Vilita @ New Skoðarhüb, Hartburg Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still

MD5
15:00 Drawkland v Pemecutan @ TQG Langvöllur Arena, Hofvinger Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
18:00 Flavovespia v The Holy Empire @ Sanktjakobvöllur, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
21:00 Nephara v Adab @ Florus Stadion, Altendalur Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy

The games on MD6&MD7 (which equate to MD3 for each team) will be played simultaneously in each time slot.

MD6
16:00 Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom v Tumbra @ VG Arena, Maigburg Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still
16:00 Valanora v Jeruselem @ Frei Stadion, Búðarberg Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
21:00 Græntfjall v Saint Eleanor @ Grand National Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
21:00 Squidroidia v Nyowani Kitara @ New Skoðarhüb, Hartburg Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still

MD7
16:00 Nephara v Flavovespia @ Laxenvöllur, Mühlrich Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
16:00 Adab v The Holy Empire @ Fjistjing Stadion, Hintersfjörður Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
21:00 Drawkland v Baker Park @ OptiFone Arena, Folte Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still
21:00 Pemecutan v Vilita @ Grander International Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, still

MD8
16:00 Squidroidia v The Holy Empire @ Grander International Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
21:00 Drawkland v Valanora @ OptiFone Arena, Folte Weather forecast: Overcast, dry, still

MD9
16:00 Tumbra v Pemecutan @ Fjlarkfjall Arena, Þingsnitz Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy
21:00 Nephara v Græntfjall @ TQG Langvöllur Arena, Hofvinger Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, it fucken wimdy

MD10
17:00 QF1 @ GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro, Háttmark Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, still

MD11
21:00 QF2 @ Florus Stadion, Altendalur Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, windy

MD12
21:00 SF @ Grander International Arena, Háttmark Weather forecast: Overcast, rain, still

MD13
19:00 Final @ GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro, Háttmark Weather forecast: Clear, dry, windy

Grander International Arena
The recently built 50,001 seater is home of Steinaux, "the Sausages". Their name is rooted in the working class meat processing and dock warehouse district, which has undergone substantial renovation. Unlike rivals Gunzlach across the river, Steinaux is now located in an upmarket neighborhood with tech and pharma jobs booming. The club’s fortunes are however on the turn, slipping down the table after winning 3 consecutive titles, and losing their two star strikers (respectively, transferring across town to their rivals, and eaten by a kraken).

Grand National Arena
The main national stadium, the 50,000 seater used to be the country's only international-level sports facility. It is the most famous stadium in the country and home of multiple time champions Gunzlach, "the Gunners". The name reflects their origins in the old military arsenal stationed there. On the north side of Háttmark, the GNA is built in what remains a fairly conservative, working-class district, with rumblings of disquiet over recent immigrant arrivals and rapid house price rises in the wake of gentrification.

GT Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro [non-commercial name: Estadio Fútbol De Musarañas De Oro][/b]
The new home of GT Molding, "the Gold Shrews", and Korsbach's south Háttmark rivals. Built by Tequiloan multinational Grupo Taxhavn and unpronouncable to the locals, the stadium is by far the biggest in the country (which a capacity of close to 70,000). Lush, well appointed – is “chintzy” pushing it too far?

Florus Stadion [non-commercial name: Altendalur Stadion]
Altendalur is a northwest port city and cultural hub of the West, a region that generally feels under the political thrall of the dominant East. It was built on whaling: the stadium is literally built on whaling, as a massive whale spine ornaments the main entrance gate. Home of one of the top GPL sides, nicknamed the Chessmen, the seats are in alternate black and white check patterns.

Fjistjing Stadion
Home to Hintersfjörður, who are routinely a yo-yo team: one of the strongest sub-GPL teams, and yet usually being relegated immediately upon winning promotion from the Division 1. The Fjistjing Stadion is relatively new to hosting international football and did not feature during the Copa Rushmori rotation, debuting instead at the Baptism of Fire 74. It is well suited to all weather conditions, with a fully retractable roof. Hintersfjörður lies in the suburbs of Altendalur and has a generally similar cultural disposition, with entrenched hostility to Eastern elites and little interest in outsiders.

Fjlarkfjall Arena
Þingsnitz, another yo-yo side seeming to miss that key ingredient for a step up to GPL level, play their home games at Fjlarkfjall. Þingsnitz is a small coastal city a few miles east of Altendalur, on the other side of the other side of the Bay of Blood. The two enjoy a healthy rivalry in matters football and otherwise. The Fjlarkfjall Arena also made its debut hosting international football at the 74th Baptism of Fire; despite its small size and lack of roof, it’s otherwise well appointed for a Division 1 side’s home arena, clearly reflecting its owners’ desires to win promotion. Culturally, the fishing port is much more amenable to visitors than their cross-bay neighbors.

OptiFone Arena [non-commercial name: Folte Arena]
Folte is a market town that lies just south of Aigsvinger, the city that sits at the fork of the Odinsfluss River. Much like the city, Folte is a town that embodies traditions of both the East and West: the market bringing fresh produce from the West, the commuter hub going to middle class jobs in the East. The popular local team, the Striders, are one of the most internationally mixed. A huge Catholic church dominates the skyline and on clear days service bells can be heard during matches.

Laxenvöllur
Mühlrich is the club that's most representative of the conservative alpine traditions of the country. Based in the suburbs of Kyrkdorf, the "last city before the mountains", it's an old, traditional club, and the slightly fusty stadium reflects that. Lots of (now fairly dusty, the Turtles have seen better days) trophies in the cabinet, hard seats, and smoking still permitted in certain areas. Interestingly, the stadium itself isn't that old as it has burned down four times. Smoking remains stubbornly permitted. The Turtle Ultras are the most radical Ultras in the country. Racist chanting has mostly been stamped out, but it's not a place to go for provoking intellectual discourse.

VG Arena [non-commercial name: Maigburg Arena]
One of the bigger arenas, in fact the largest outside Háttmark. The Maigburg club is based in the suburbs of Waltenberg, the biggest university city, and reflects its academic traditions, middle-class professions, and fierce anti-communism. The "Catbear" ultras are ferociously loyal. The stadium is big but old and run-down. A multi-purpose arena, it hosts many sports including athletics, notably the final lap of the Waltenberg Marathon.

Sanktjakobvöllur
Another Háttmark arena, but this time based in the south. Háttmark is the capital city of Græntfjall, a bustling port city. The south is more residential than the mainly industrial north. Architecturally, it bore the brunt of the violence that engulfed the tail end of the communist regime: sadly, a lot of the buildings you'll see are very new, but that also testifies to the major economic boom the city is undergoing. This hasn't extended to Korsbach's frankly decrepit arena.

TQG Langvöllur Arena [non-commercial name: Langvöllur Arena]
The Langvöllur Arena (the second Arena is redundant as völlur means Arena in Græntfjaller, but the name persists for some reason) is in the exclave of Hofvinger, which lies the other side of the Komodo Channel to mainland Græntfjall. As such, the "Northern Wolves" of Hofvinger have always considered themselves a bit different (i.e. superior) to the soft southerners. It is absolutely freezing even in summer owing to the wind patterns. Teams will travel via ferry from Háttmark, assuming the sea isn't ice-locked.

New Skoðarhüb [non-commercial name: Hartburg New Park
Located in Hartburg, the gateway to Lake Viljan. Bypassing the Alps, which dominate the southern half of the country, requires going through the Estdal Gate, once a turnpike, now one of the busiest commercial bridges in the country, connecting the industrial heartlands with the Rushmori interior. That name lives on in the Ducks, the team whose sponsors Skoðar Optik have invested heavily in foreign managers, players, and now a new stadium. Not state of the art by international standards, but some of the lifts actually work and the coffee machine does cappucinos! Witchcraft!!

Frei Stadion
Located in the southwest city of Búðarberg, the capital of Fliserboding a broad, flat agricultural plain that is geographically and at times culturally at odds with the rest of Græntfjall. Perceived as the home of a rump pro-communist minority by the rest of the country. The local club, Fliserboding, is chiefly notable for their tradition of throwing cabbages on the field before each game. The stadium, while pretty, smells terrible as a result.

by **Farfadillis** » Tue May 03, 2022 5:44 pm

ABOUT FARFADILLIS
potentially outdated map for reference

A nation is usually defined as “a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory.” A country is usually defined as “a nation with its own government, occupying a particular territory.” As such, contrary to popular misconception, Farfadillis is neither a country nor a nation. The reasons are twofold: first, to what extent governments exist in Farfadillis in the current day is a matter of fierce scholarly debate, and second, there are various ethnicities in Farfadillis that appear to have diverged culturally centuries ago, although it is impossible to know for sure because historical records are very hard to come by in Farfadillis.

So, having clarified what Farfadillis is not, it would be perhaps helpful to give information about what it is. Again, academics haven't ironed out the details and reached a consensus, but it is generally agreed that somewhere between eight and fifteen ethnostates, depending on who's counting and how, coexist on the island of Farfadillis, with the most cited figure being nine. We will henceforth assume that this last figure is, indeed, correct. As such, Farfadillis could be considered a “Plurinational Entity” in the literal sense that, whatever it is, it is definitely an entity, and it certainly has more than one nation in it. For simplicity, when we say Farf we will mean any ethnicity from the island of Farfadillis.

Although members of any given Farf ethnicity would spit on you for even implying they are similar to any other given Farf ethnicity, the reality is that all but one Farf ethnicity share a lot of cultural common ground. In fact, their cultural common ground is particularly distinctive and makes it hard for Farf refugees to set each other apart in other countries, where their differences between this common ground and the local culture tend to be far starker. This cultural common ground includes, but is not limited to: a general disregard for authority and order (in any sense of the word), a seemingly unhealthy obsession with fire (although some of it is down to fire being a very important part of the various Farf religions), recklessness (risk-taking behavior, if you want to be more charitable), and a very inconvenient ability for distraction.

The various Farf ethnicities do differ considerably, however, and this is reflected in the ongoing border friction between the various ethnostates. This is despite the fact that, ironically, Farves display omniglottery: the ability to learn any language to a native level with minimal exposition. They are not psychics, so can't just know what words mean without having heard them, but they can visit another country and talk like a native within a month if they want to. Most older Farves speak their local language, as well as Ferdullaelan, because in the past Farfadillis was a country, and Ferdullaele, as the capital, was a cultural hegemon. Farves who live on the border between two given ethnostates generally speak both languages, in many cases having picked up the other language passively and unintentionally. This heavily facilitates migration between ethnostates, as neighboring ethnicities are generally not too different-looking, and as such a Farf from any given ethnicity could cross a border and pretend to have always been a member of the other side's ethnicity. This has the interesting consequence of making the borders between ethnostates cultural melting pots, mish-mashing the cultures of both ethnicities far more than outside Farfadillis.

Regarding the nine ethnostates we have been referring to, here we present brief descriptions of those generally agreed to be “the” nine ethnostates, in alphabetical order:

Farolera is a very populous country, and is the most economically powerful nowadays, as their capacity for self-sustenance during the anarchy years was far greater than their traditional competition, the Ferdullaelans. Their territory is filled with lush forests and fertile farmland, which is actually an important part of the Faroleran identity. After Karinthians, Farolerans are generally considered to be the least Farf of the big Farf ethnicities, but they nonetheless display all of the aforementioned cultural common ground to a very noticeable degree. Farolerans speak Faroleran, which to many foreigners sounds remarkably similar to Spanish.

Ferdullaele is the ethnostate with the most fertile land, which historically gave them an enormous headstart. However, their population was the one that failed the most to adapt to the total collapse of society eighteen years ago, and as such the ethnostate is, forgive us for making things even more complicated, not strictly an ethnostate: order (in the loosest sense), hasn't quite returned to Ferdullaele; it has instead devolved into various subcommunities exercising what would best be described as anarcho-capitalism and they, of course, hate each other.

Fröndt is a very mountainous region, and most urban centers are in those mountains. The weather is extremely dry and cold, and the fauna is unforgiving. The Fröndti are typically more hard-working and level-headed than other Farves—or so they like to believe—and think of themselves as the reasonable, neutral people of the island. The rest of the island disagrees, as do most scholars. The rest of the island disagrees. They've had trouble with the extremely harsh winters and the flying jellyfish lately, but they're a resilient bunch, so they've adapted to the times.

Induja lies at the center of Farfadillis. All of the beautiful Farf biomes clash in Induja, which makes it the most naturally beautiful of the ethnostates. By driving less than two hundred kilometers, you can go from jungle to desert to plains to mountains. Due to this, Indujans are actually quite secluded, despite bordering a whopping six other ethnicities. Indujans are traditionally... well, forgotten. To most Farves, they're just that place you have to go through to reach other places, though this attitude towards them has been relenting in recent years.

Karinthia is a recently-discovered tribe of about thirty thousand people who live in the Szoirsian desert. Some scientists believe they'd flown under the radar for millennia, somehow. They seem to speak a language with no similarities with any other Farf language. The Farves that have come into contact with them have found them very bizarre, for the most part because they seemed to pay attention to detail and have a commendable work ethic, coupled with a fleshed-out concept of respect and hierarchy. One thing about them is shared with all other ethnicities, however: they venerate fire.

Kruviš is the most populated ethnostate, though only by a slight margin and only if you're willing to trust a Farf census from twenty-five years ago. This nation is mostly one huge jungle, but closer to the coast the jungle gives way to civilization... to a degree. The fauna here is perhaps the most dangerous you'll find on the island, which is really saying something. Wasps that explode (like bombs) when stinging, spider-snakes, frogs whose poison literally sends you to hell, etc. The Kruviši are even more fiercely nationalistic than the other ethnicities but tend to direct their xenophobia more towards non-Farves than the other Farves.

Rülândéá is historically the poorest and most abused of the nations; it's safe to say the Rulandese have never had it good. Rampant crime, extreme pollution, terrible quality of life, genocide and a very long etc. The region weathered the days of anarchy much better than most other places by virtue of already being used to misery. Nowadays, the region is controlled by the Rulandese Revolutionary Army, and a fairly idiosyncratic version of libertarian socialism is currently being put in place, but it is very hard to get information from Rülândéá due to how hazardous it is to get there in the first place. They're the most well-known Farf ethnicity by far because they produce better footballers than the rest of the island combined, to the point that some of the best players in the Multiverse come from this relatively small, run-down nation. Their language is also notorious for having too many diacritics. Farves from the other ethnicities feel very insulted when it is insinuated that they, too, speak languages with an orthography filled to the brim with diacritics.

Szoirsia is essentially one huge desert with small oases of civilization. Szoirsians are used to the extreme heat and dehydration that comes with their surroundings. They resort to violence first and foremost to solve problems, perhaps even more so than the Rulandese. Szoirsians speak one of the most distinct languages of the island: Szoirsian. As a language, it seems to very transparently be a creole between two ancestral languages that no longer exist, which in turn—along with what little archaeological evidence can be found—makes the scholarly consensus be that there used to be two distinct ethnic groups in Szoirsia that, somehow, fused into one.

Tanazza is rather uninhabited, being almost exactly fifty percent jungle, fifty percent desert in terms of surface area. The inhabited parts generally lie at the edge of both biomes. Tanazzans have a notoriously hard time getting out of Tanazza because there are no roads out. The collapse of supply chains during the anarchy years hit the Tanazzans particularly hard as a result, and they are still reeling from it. They are, nonetheless, very resilient and, supposedly, very good-humored.

As a general rule, it is very hard to travel to Farfadillis. Things have gotten better recently, as some working airports have been constructed in Farolera by the Banijan and Euran relief efforts. However, travel within the country is still notoriously hazardous unless you're willing to spend a lot of money bribing the locals.

We remark again that the fauna that has developed over millions of years inside the island is very much unlike outside it, even outside Kruviš. If you hear about “radiation-eating snakes”, don't laugh: you'll look like an idiot. Imagine how you'd think of someone who laughed at someone believing in the existence of regular snakes. We must also emphasize that one must be especially wary of the frogs whose poison literally sends you to hell.

Fittingly, Farf football is obsessed with reckless attacking; Farf crowds will often get bored if your team is defensive, so expect aggressiveness from some of them if your team is boring. If your team is entertaining, however, expect the Farf crowd to cheer you on.

We sincerely hope you enjoy your stay, however brief it might turn out to be.

VENUES

La Fantás
Location: Ferdullaele
Capacity: 70,000
Fresh off passing a routine safety inspection that was three decades overdue because of an FFFF oversight, La Fantás was once again la Vherderoja's home stadium for cycle 90. The colossal stadium is situated in the ex-capital of what used to be the country of Farfadillis: Ferdullaele. It used to have a whopping hundred thousand seats, but ever since the whole anarchy thing, the northeastern stand has been inexplicably on fire, so that's one-fourth of the seats gone, plus those too close to the fire to be considered safe by Farf standards. And yes, those exist. Nobody can quite explain how the stand has managed to continue burning for about eighteen years. Pagan religions are common in Farfadillis, and they mostly venerate fire, so if you ask around you'll likely get some magical explanations. We are not saying the God of Fire is raining its wrath upon Ferdullaele, but we are saying that stand should've stopped burning long ago. Or, at least, the fire should've propagated to the other stands. We are also saying that if La Fantás were a map of Farfadillis, it would be Ferdullaele that is burning, being the most northeastern ethnostate. Again, speculation, but worth pointing out. We've gone on a tangent now. Anyway, huge stadium, fire, don't get burned, don't involve yourself with the surrounding ethnic tension.

La Snerra
Location: Ferdullaele
Capacity: 100,000
La Snerra was the national team's home in the early days, but got promptly abandoned when the much more modern La Fantás was built. Nonetheless, stadia are in short supply in Farfadillis nowadays, so the heretofore abandoned stadium will be making a comeback around forty years since it was last used... is what we were saying back when we hosted World Cup 85. The stadium has not been used since, however, and it's been over a decade so it's almost the same thing. Yes, it may be rusty and unsafe, but at least it's not on fire, and it can fit in a lot of people. As far as seats go, however, there are only enough for about 20,000 people, which could prove problematic.

Den Mytologiska Maneter
Location: Fröndt
Capacity: 50,000
One of the few stadia left relatively intact by the chaos. It's in the freezing mountains of Fröndt. Temperatures swing wildly between 5ºC and -25ºC there throughout the day, and the surrounding area is infested with flying jellyfish, or flygande maneter, as the locals call them. Literal jellyfish with what are essentially angel wings. Most of them are not lethal, however, and the ones that are make it very obvious by pulsating with different, bright and saturated colors. Except for the ones that don't and are indistinguishable from the non-lethal ones. They've been a bit a plague since, you know, the events we will be continuously referencing throughout this pamphlet. Anyway, wear a scarf and lots of anti-flying-jellyfish repellent and you'll probably be alright.

Adar Jak
Location: Szoirsia
Capacity: 32,000
While no longer the only stadium in Szoirsia, the Adar Jak will still be used because of tradition. It's a stadium situated in the most notoriously unforgiving part of the Szoirsian desert, a part which is home to precisely no living creatures besides radiation-eating snakes. Bring loads of water, because the Szoirsians won't be sharing theirs (it's kinda scarce at the moment, okay?). On a particularly hot day, matches scheduled here will have to be moved to some nearby (or not) stadium. Do not bring a Geiger counter.

Grand René Skaé
Location: Szoirsia
Capacity: 25,000
Home to René Skaé, one of the best Farf teams nowadays, and named after René Skaé the person, this stadium is located in René Skaé, the city named after the person. Nobody is quite sure who René Skaé really was, but the fact that so many things in this area have been named after him seems to suggest that he was some kind of hero. In comparison with Adar Jak, Grand René Skaé is a forgiving stadium, but don't get us wrong: you really will not enjoy a game here on a hot day, of which there are many.

La Gran Avenida
Location: Farolera
Capacity: 60,000
This stadium is home to Avenida Victoria, Avenida Principal and La Nueva Avenida, three historically big Farf teams. It is situated in the middle of a forest. The view from the highest seats is impressive. Please, ignore how dangerous the path to the stadium is, and how long it takes to arrive there, considering going by car is banned. Beware the beasts of the forest. If you ignore the inherent danger, La Gran Avenida is probably tied with La Fantás for both most modern and most visually captivating stadium.

Ojo de la Tormenta
Location: Farolera
Capacity: 15,000
This small stadium located in Azureña, a town on the coast of Puerto Farolero, is notable for constantly (say, weekly, but usually more often) attracting fantastically violent, highly concentrated storms, while somehow managing to stay inside the eye of the storm, completely unaffected. Azureña is otherwise a very nice seaside resort. Sans the storms.

Rülândéá Çölíséá
Location: Rülândéá
Capacity: 35,000
The Çölíséá (Colosseum in Rulandese) is iconic for being home to rivals Mâ Âlâmëómë and Dí Maozöxê, and for having halved its capacity due to bombings from the then-existent government. The stadium's situated in a particularly rough area of Rülândéá, so make sure to be extra careful. The stadium itself is actually quite modern, as both Mâ Âlâmëómë and Dí Maozöxê are relatively well-off clubs, but if you squint your eyes you can sort of discern that it's been bombed multiple times. The big hole in the northern stand is a bit of a tell.

Bojno Polje
Location: Fröndt
Capacity: 40,000
It stands to reason that the most populated nation on the island would have one of the biggest stadia, despite having a pretty middling footballing tradition (not for lack of trying, mind). For a 40,000 seater, Bojno Polje is patently unsafe and ugly. Scotch tape is not what is holding it together, but the fact that that's the best we can say is, well, all that should be said.

by **Delte** » Tue May 03, 2022 10:53 pm

VISIT DELTE
A Guide For Adventurers & Reluctant Football Teams

Although the World Cup qualification jamboree comes to Delte for the first time, the residents of the river valley are not inexperienced in welcoming visitors to the area, with tourism a key contributor to the local economy. Traditional railway enthusiasts, Uncivil War readers, birdspotters, nature ramblers, artisan real ale drinkers, devout stoics and creative retreaters all enjoy a sojourn to this small corner of the North Pacific. Football supporters of the visiting nations will be focused on the community’s administrative centre, the picturesque historic town of Oswark-upon-Delte where home matches will be played at the recreational centre on Ildemorton Road, a well manicured pitch used by the town’s two main Delte Valley Tuesday Evening & Sunday Lunchtime Super League teams, Oswarks Town and United. But Oswark, and the rest of the valley, has plenty more to offer if you have the time (and the cash). Do remember that there are only 150 tickets for visiting supporters so check your local association before travelling, or you may find you are watching the local salmon run rather than the football.

TO & FROM THE VALLEY: It is a rural retreat, so visiting is for the adventurous. Fly to one of the larger North Pacific centres and travel on from there; Vasbury in Wilkshire or Azerai in Sasten seem to be two of the more popular. There is no serviceable airport within several hundred km of the Delte Valley so use the North Pacific’s extensive but baffling train network to find the Meridien Mainline service, and book your place on the train - and especially, your stop at Oswark Station. The bullet trains fly on through at nearly 300kph if you don’t tell the conductor in advance. You might decide to hire a car and drive in; use the Great Septenward Expressway (sometimes marked on maps as the E1) and get off at junction 487, Kilny Cross, just north of Oswark - but be careful, all the signposts for the exit were removed in the seventies during a period of fervent isolationism - they have not been replaced and if you miss the exit, you are at least seventy km to the next turn.

ORIENTATION: Delte is a narrow populated strip of fertile river valley approximately fifteen kilometres wide and ninety long, along the length of the course of the River Delte, located in a wild, largely empty and unnamed country and isolated from the nearest geopolitical entities and populous distant communities at the far corners of the cartographer’s charts, save for transportation routes - rail and road - which pass through the valley on the way from one significant populated centre to another, hardly without stopping. The valley sits in a largely north-west to south-east orientation from the river source in the marches to its issue in Smite Bay at Deltemouth, and the river itself is approximately 170 kilometres in length, of which around 60% is navigable by commercial craft with a series of controlled locks. The long narrow strip is divided into six parishes each with a parish town - from northwest to southeast these are Marshlock Spa, Ughmirren, Oswark, Sullenden, Askirk and Deltemouth, on the coast. Connected by road, river and rail, these are the principal settlements where you will find the amenities you might need - like pubs and coffee shops and ATMs. And speaking of cash - head to a branch of The Corn Exchange for all your banking requirements; ‘the Exchange’ is the central and only bank of the Delte community, with branches in all six parish towns.

ACCOMMODATION IN OSWARK: Unfortunately the main hotel in Oswark, the Prince Tyrbert, has been reserved by the All-Week Super Ultra Premiere Football Association (the local FA) for the visiting World Cup teams, so fans will be relying on local hostelries, beds and breakfasts, camping and out-of-town farmstays for their accommodation, but don’t let this put you off - what better way to get to know the locals than by helping out with the milking in exchange for your cornflakes? If the rural life is not for you, several of the pubs in Oswark offer rooms, including the Six of Staves on Aughtshambles Street, which is very much the sports bar of choice if you want to get into a debate with the locals on the relative strengths of Town or United. The landlord Emel Radogar is considered (by some, particularly himself) as the valley’s leading expert on international football, still basking in the glory of managing to tune his satellite dish to a snowy picture of some World Cup 78 fixtures all those years ago. He keeps a tidy room and will be eager for information on world football in exchange for a complimentary breakfast.

Visit Delte, the local tourist information organisation, have an office on platform 3 at Oswark Station - pop in to book your stay when you get off the train, and have your first experience of local people with Benito the Stationmaster (he’ll be the first to point out he’s not a native Delt) and his partner Hona Skellban (who very much is a native). She can hook you up with the perfect spot to drop your bags and rest your weary feet before heading out for some food and drink. Prefer your adventures served up by a well-informed - perhaps disconcertingly too well informed - algorithm? Find rooms, caravans and lodgings with DareBnB, risk free virtual bookings (always read the small print, especially the bits about what it means to take a dare and also about not being risk free). Also see our section on health and safety in the valley… although that’s not out for another 10 days. So yes, maybe it’s a DareBnB for the time being.

FOOD & DRINK: Craft ales and surprisingly gourmet pub lunches are the order of the day in Oswark, and it’s an open secret that dining in the town is generally better than one might expect. Start with ‘breakfast at the Bert’ - that’s the Prince Tyrbert Hotel, with it’s restaurant open to non-residents for an excellent all-day breakfast; picnic lunch on the Oswark Castle grounds from Polly Lawdraw’s Takeout; grab a half time Mustardy pie and mash at Ildemorton Road during the football; fuel up for the evening with dinner at the Duke’s Head; and after a heavy session, finish with a ‘gargoyle wrap’ - that’s battered gargoyle salmon and deep-fried parsnips with vinegar wrapped up in yesteday’s Oswark Parish Advertiser. And to drink? Well, thanks to the clear spring waters of the uplands and nearly two hundred years of industrial brewing expertise, there is no better place to find just the right ale for your tastes - all the pubs in town carry an extensive range, with highly qualified bar stewards who have personally sampled every tap, regularly, several times, just to help select the right brew for you.

LOCAL CUSTOMS & ETIQUETTE: The people of the Delte Valley are a forgiving bunch, but being committed stoics would much prefer visitors to keep their emotions in check, remain moderately friendly without being overly familiar, and refrain from touching without invitation wherever possible.

There has been a rich history of skirmishes and sieges in the valley down the centuries, but in modern times the Delts love a bit of peace and quiet, so football hooliganism is not a thing they have experience of in the Delte Valley Tuesday Evening & Sunday Lunchtime Super League. That is not to say they are ill-prepared for any visiting fans coming to the valley for a ruckus. The River Patrol - which is the local arm of law and order - have recruited a few extra fellows for match days and The Volunteer Reservists have been practising bottling and kettling techniques for the last month just in case. A stretch in the Auld Triangle gaol and forced deportation on a compost-carrying container ship awaits anyone arrested for anti-social behaviour, so please don’t land yourself in the muck by messing about with your fists and your foreheads. Good manners are well rewarded with a pleasant stay.

OUT AND ABOUT THE TOWN: You’ll be wanting to head off to Ildemorton Road for the football of course - after all, that’s why you came - but there is more to Oswark than the astroturf sports ground with it’s temporary World Cup stands, if you have some spare time. Despite its small size and remote position in the world, Oswark has a rich history and much of it is still in evidence today: from the ruins of the spectacular castle built in the fourteenth century by the Dukes of Oswark, Aroth and his nephew Athad, to the Town Locks - the industrial era waterway, warehouse, brewery and factory complex that was once one of the biggest inland ports in the region, now preserved as a spectacular conservation area with a working dry dock and the offices of the Delte River Trust (DRT) - who manage the modern waterways, the valley itself, and by extension, form the effective administrative governance of the whole valley community. Once you’ve done eating and drinking, why not try out the museums for more history - The Uncivil War museum, the Stoic’s museum and the DRT’s own exhibition at the Town Locks, the Museum of The Valley of The River. There is more to Oswark than history of course - but not much. The Market Square is a thriving centre of informal commerce, there is a cinema showing three-year old international films as “new releases” and the Skellen Theatre provides an intimate venue for concerts, recitals, gigs, dances and of course productions from the in-house theatre troupe, The Oswark Fiesta & Revue.

Lovers of football memorabilia will enjoy the exhibition space at the Brewery Sports & Social Club on Ingundonny Avenue, which also serves as the temporary training facilities for visiting world cup teams. Usually the home ground of ‘Oswark’s other team’, the once all-conquering Brewery Social FC (now fallen on more mediocre times), it has a comprehensive collection of ephemera relating to the 130-year history of football in the valley, including the modern day trophies for the Delte Valley Tuesday Evening & Sunday Lunchtime Super League, the much more popular Friday Night & Saturday Morning Ultra Premier League - the women’s six-a-side fútsal championship - and the oldest football competition in the valley, The Mixed Nines Football Cup. Really love your football statues? In the next edition we’ll tell you all about the Delte Valley Sculpture Trail - you can pick up the football-themed trail map on your visit to the Brewery Social.

EXPLORING THE RIVER DELTE: Do you have the time and inclination to venture a little further abroad, out of Oswark town? Well then, the River Delte and the surrounding valley will not disappoint, with plenty to see and do. From Town Lock take the River Cruise upriver to Leald and hop off for a picnic at the Leald Water nature reserve where you might spot a Delte heron spear-fishing for the beloved gargoyle salmon; or take the longer two night-three day water packet right up to Marshlock Spa for a hot spring water soak, and explore the upland Garga Marsh wetlands (see our forthcoming health and safety note befor you travel). Don’t have your water legs? There is always the train - the nostalgic Delte Valley Railway from Marshlock in the north all the way down to Deltemouth Wash and the harbour is the most scenic and relaxing way to explore the length of the valley, departing regularly from platform 1 at Oswark Station. Get the Up-Down Return for a day-long trip going both ways and back again. If social justice is your thing, book a visit to the Auld Triangle, the valley’s model gaol, and chat to the inmates about their reformation pathway (unless there happens to be a Screvenor from Overtane in the lockup, in which case guards will assist you in avoiding them - see Health & Safety for more information). If you enjoyed the museums in Oswark, try also the narrow boat museum at Warlye, the Valley Horology Centre at Kilny, the Battle of Lye visitor centre at Lye and of course the emotionally draining Great Big Smite Bay Contamination Memorial Museum in Deltemouth (sensitive visitors may find it upsetting).

Football fans with time on their hands will definitely maybe want to follow the ‘football path’ of the valley’s (almost) famous statue trail. Creating statues of celebrated personalities real and imagined is an obsession for the Delts - whether it be Prince Tyrbert the Deltic hero of the Uncivil Wars, or Lerena Ence the octagenarian dustcartwoman of Marshlock Spa - every town and village has a statue or two - there is even a Statue Makers School in Oswark to provide the valley with a continuous supply of in-demand sculptors. Naturally there are several footballers immortalised around the valley, and a trail map can be picked up at the Brewery Sports & Social Club exhibition in town, covering the whole valley for those who want a football statue odyssey. Don’t forget to visit The Garden of Regrets: where statues we wish we’d never sculpted of people we are no longer proud of have their final resting place. There’s at least one footballer in there, the infamous Cheald Nayler. Oh dear me, what were we thinking?

HEALTH & SAFETY: The Valley of The River Delte is a relatively safe place to visit, if difficult to find, and therefore should be easily enjoyed in a relaxed way by most everyone who comes to stay. Of course, no single place outside of Utopia is entirely without its hazards, and the valley is no different in that respect. Firstly, the river - you can drown in it. It is quite a strong current all year round and is not for playing in. High in the northwest uplands, the stunning Garga Marshes can be perilous - sudden and unexpected weather conditions including fog, pelting rain, snowy squalls and gale-force winds can surprise hikers, whilst the ground can be boggy and lethal. No-one wants to drown in ‘quicksand’ - a primordial fear of the yuman bean - but if its going to happen anywhere or to anyone, it will be to an inattentive and ill-prepared tourist up in the Garga Marshes. Take rations, appropriate clothing and preferably a guide.

The village of Overtane to the south of Oswark is Screvenor country, and should not be visited under any circumstances - likewise, if anyone points out a Screvenor to you in other places, do your very best to avoid them. A tribe from the neighbouring Screve valley, the Screvenors are unlike the Delts in every way - emotional, aggressive, unstable, unruly, uncouth, unfriendly, and generally anti-social. Many Delts wonder why they come to town at all and privately some even wish they would go back to their own valley. This is not spoken out loud in polite company and should never be said by visitors to the valley - but it remains precautionary to keep well away from the Screvenors (Screves, to use a perjorative term that you should never, ever say out loud; or ‘dirty Screve’, to speak the unspeakable - you could get a night in the Auld Triangle and deported for less).

There are no apex predators to be concerned with in the valley, although rumours abound up in the north-west in the misty Garga Marshes of jaguars, mountain lions, bears, wolves, wild dogs, rabid otters, goliath eagles, hairy river dolphins, ancient alligators, neanderthal trolls, swamp sirens, bold deceiver dwarves, Moss Thing, old Cthulian devils, walking trees, werestatues, stray Z-day refugees and deadly-tiresome ancient mariners with surprisingly strong grips. We are quite sure none of it is true. More practically, avoid fields of cows who might get jittery and stampede, or more likely quietly separate to reveal a highly territorial and irritated bull; other agricultural hazards include butting goats, savagely bold and inexplicably angry geese, and over-zealous watchdogs. Common sense prevails - stay alert and close gates behind you.

by **The 14 Stars** » Wed May 04, 2022 4:09 am

91, here we go again

After making their debut in World cup qualifiers 88 the Starsian team has climbed the ranks but still isn't exactly considered a strong team which has to change and this group is perfect for that.
Our team has been placed in a so called group of death with many great teams in it and thats why the expectations won't be too high for our team which is considered one of the weaker teams of the group.

Starblaydia

One of the best teams of the multiverse and multiple world championsip winners Starblaydia are the highest ranked team in our group without any doubt and we've seen countless of times before why that is.
We have played them a few times already, sometimes with a win but a majority of the times we still have to take a loss, but it shows they are not as invincible as they say, their game is dynamic but their confidence at times can backfire on them.
We look forward to playing the best, as the best is what we as team are aiming for

Savojarna

We only played this team once in the 88 Qualifiers and we have seen they are a strong and solid team that is hard to defeat, maybe an even bigger challenge then Starblaydia at all.
However time has passed and older players have been replaced by new ones and we are looking forward to a new team from them and to see how they have developed in those years.

Turori

We don't know alot about this team yet besides them having some form of connection to Vilita a country that we once played.
Overall we will be very cautious with teams we do not know alot about, we believe unknown teams can make a good surprise and we will keep a close eye on their development throughout the qualifiers.

Flavovespia

Flavovespia is a nation we all remember from a short while ago, we defeated them despite their strong status and we look forward to playing them again after having had two very nice games with them.
They are know for good football, great offensen but their weakness is in the quick counters where they last time lost on to us and we aim to win against them once more in these qualifiers.

Juvencus

We know them from.....somewhere....anyway we know about the country and know they are also a team you should be aware of as they can pull off a good surprise and cause an upset against every team.

New faces

We also introduce some new faces,

Firstly we'd like to introduce Brittany Storm, a 26 year old left midfielder from Amazona United who wasn't selected at first but with the new reorganization she has been called up to represent her country.
Brittany is a very accurate player and very precise, everything she does is first class work from passing to making runs to position herself nothing escapes her good vision on the game.

Secondly we introduce Joyce Villegas a youngster on the team and replacing Raoul Fereira who never really played a game and who's skill no longer was enough to bring the team to a higher level.
Joyce is 22 years old and plays for Prominence FC, she also has a history of being in the U21 squad where she was a starter before she reached the age limit and was no longer eligible to play there.
Landry has chosen her with an eye to the future, to make her familiar with international games and prepare her for a place as a starter later.

Lastly we introduce Jocelyn Pineda also a forward like Villegas, she plays for Polestar and is 27 years old and chosen for her very strong preformances in the league and her experience.
She is expected to bring more quality to the team and rival Jill Swyndon to be the 2nd Right Winger after Kira Blade, Jocelyn is expected to not play in the first match but Landry has said that a debut for her certainly is possible.

by **Adab** » Wed May 04, 2022 8:33 am

A Dance with Football
Snapshots of the lives of the people involved in Adabian football and those associated with them
For a full list of chapters click here. To read all the chapters in one go click here
For an (incomplete) list of major/prominent characters in this story click here and scroll down to the ‘Football’ section

Chapter 62: Meeting

November 11, 2036
AFA Headquarters
Adab City

Naram-Sin Araqasdah shook his head exasperatedly, looking through the curtains at the unruly masses gathered outside, several floors below. So loud and constant were their shouts, so animated were their expressions – to put it lightly – that Naram-Sin could still see them, imagine them in his mind just as clearly as when he almost came face-to-face with them on his way to the office, when a bunch of hastily-gathered policemen had to clear the way for his car. Even now he thought he could still hear their deathly screams, their terrible, profanity-laden chants which made “Araqasdah out!” and “Get the fuck out you fuck” the stuff of playgrounds. How did it come to this?

When, still exasperated, he shook his head again and again, produced a grating sound as he rapidly swallowed his own saliva, and turned around, the AFA President found himself facing Taymour Frangieh, Shania Enmerkar, Tansu Altun, Rebekah Yissakar, Enlilbani Yargab, Emma Arthur, and Alulim Sinmuballit. The heroes of Adabian football, and now also the plotters openly working for his downfall. And, on the far corner of the room, the silent yet towering figure of Saad Kaykali. Not known to be a plotter, as far as Naram-Sin was aware, although he had his suspicions. But Saad had come under the banner of neutrality – or so he claimed – and for now had largely kept a brooding silence as the two sides argued.

“Tell me,” Naram-Sin began in a tone which didn’t even hide his displeasure, “why are you so confident you can run football better than me?”

“Mr. Araqasdah, do you not get what we have been saying?” Taymour Frangieh shot back in an equally frustrated voice, leaning forward somewhat at the older man in an vaguely menacing manner with widened eyes. “We-“ he pointed right back at the window. “Christ, just look at that crowd! And I mean look at it, sir. No one trusts you anymore-“

“Demonstrations happen all the time,” Naram-Sin insisted, narrowing his own eyes as he brought his chin to Taymour’s and the others warily crept closer around them. “You’d do well to study the history of this country. Just because some people out there are demanding my resignation doesn’t mean everyone is. Besides, I mean, you look at them. Your actions have caused this riot-“

“Our actions, which we are doing in response to your actions,” Shania Enmerkar noted as she sneakily put herself in the middle between the two men, craning her neck at Araqasdah. “Or, well, in some cases, inaction.”

Staring back at Shania, Naram-Sin slowly nodded. Then his mouth curved into a cold, small smile. “You accuse me of mixing up with politics and football,” he chuckled, “but in fact I have been trying to keep it separate.” He turned his eyes at Emma and Alu, keeping their distance somewhat, standing halfway between him and Saad on the far corner. “You… have you ever thought about the consequences of your… whatever you two are doing? Now people are on the streets and everyone’s causing a ruckus…”

“Well as far as I’m aware what we are doing is not a crime,” Emma shrugged, wiping a strand of hair away from her forehead and putting her arm around Alu, who smiled uneasily. “I mean, sure, I go to church, he goes to the mosque – ah who I am kidding, I barely go to church anyway – but it’s not like it’s, you know, illegal.”

“Yeah,” Alu added simply.

“Well it soon will be, because of your provocations,” Naram-Sin countered, “which have spurred this normally useless Privy Council into action because you’re dragging this entire goddamn country to hell with you-“

“You do know that many people don’t actually support this,” Rebekah Yissakar butted in, and just behind her Tansu Altun nodded vigorously as if she had had a divine epiphany. “I mean, like you said before, just because some people are doing something doesn’t mean everyone is supporting it.”

“All I’m going to say is that there’s still time for you to stand on the right side of history,” Taymour added. The frustration had faded away from his expression and he now brought his almost cold, emotionless face even closer to the AFA President’s. “If you truly care about Adabian football, then you will listen to the people. And you know what the people want you to do.”

“Without me, Adabian football will collapse,” Naram-Sin flatly insisted. “I am the one the Imperial Palace trusts. The board is behind me. I know I’m doing and I know that what I’m doing is the best for football, and for all of us. Honestly I doubt you even know what you’re doing. The people who aren’t demonstrating will grow tired of all this chaos, of their antics. The protestors will go home because they have a job to do and a family to feed and things will go back to normal and you will have no one to support you. Either that, or the people from our side will come down to the streets too, and you will see that there are still normal people with common sense out there.”

“Look, this is getting nowhere,” Saad interjected, arms crossed, trudging forward from the far corner with an unimpressed look. “How about we all just go home now and… see what comes next and maybe arrange another meeting for another day and, well, just see how things flow. I’m not taking sides here, but all I’m saying is that you’re not likely to change each other’s minds. I don’t know what else to say, really.”

Silence fell upon the room, as everyone recognized, if reluctantly, that Saad was right. Naram-Sin and Taymour quietly backed away from each other. “You know I’ve made up my mind,” Naram-Sin said. “It is what it is.”

“We’ve made up our minds too,” Taymour replied as he and his fellow players started towards the door.

“You’ll regret it.”

“We won’t.”

No more words were said between the two sides as the conspirators and Saad departed the office, Tansu closing the door behind them. “You know,” Saad shook his head once the door had closed, running his fingers up and down the middle of his forehead to the bridge of his nose. “I guess I’m no good as a mediator, eh?”

“It’s not your fault, Boss,” Taymour said. “We all know Mr. Araqasdah is, well…”

Saad could only shake his head again, bringing his head down slightly as his fingers tightened around the bridge of the nose, rubbing it in tired disgruntlement. “Whatever happens from now on, I just wish the best for our football. I want to go home, wait until this whole thing blows over. You’re going home?”

“Yeah,” Taymour affirmed.

“Alright.”

“Look, Boss,” Taymour suddenly leaned forward to whisper in Saad’s eyes. “I’m sorry for… all this. Naram-Sin will probably kick us all out of the team, but it’s… look, Boss, whatever happens, I’ll make sure you’ll stay as manager-“

“Hey, hey,” Saad whispered back. “It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s your right to protest. Even if he fires me too, it’s fine. It’s all good. It is what it is.”

“Do you think he’s actually going to fire all of us?”

Alu nodded solemnly, looking out the window. “I mean, we all know that’s what going to happen. What happens next? Well it depends on how much support we have.”

“I’d say we have a lot of support out there,” Emma said from the table, flashing a coy smile. “Hey, don’t worry too much about it. We got this.”

“Yeah,” Alu said.

“You know, Alu, uh…” Slowly she rose from her seat, making her way gingerly to Alu, still staring out the window and not turning around. As she did so she made sure her steps were as quiet as possible. “…you’ve always been here for me even though I’m annoying and I guess, uh, sometimes I haven’t been as grateful as I should be…”

Alu still did not turn around, but still he could not resist a smile from forming a smile on his face. “Oh come on, Emms, cut that shit out. You’re the best, and you’re not annoying at all. Well, I mean sometimes you are, but-“

Just a few steps behind him, as his back towered over her, Emma lowered herself.

“You know I hate rituals and ceremonies and all that, and to be honest I haven’t bothered to buy a ring…” she continued, her voice shaking a little as one knee softly touched the ground and she extended one hand.

“…but, uh, will you marry me?”

Adab lineup for World Cup Qualifiers MD1 (October 5, 2038 vs. Legalese away) and MD2 (October 12, 2038 vs. Sajnur at home)

Starting lineup: Chandrasekar, Altun, Enmerkar (VC), Issou, al-Maliki, Arthur, Samanu, Orlev, Akaptaha, Yissakar, Yargab (C)

Substitutes: Shulgi, al-Tikriti, Akshak, Thomas, al-Muntar, Emmita, Uhwan, Zambiya, al-Kufa, Barzani

by **PotatoFarmers** » Wed May 04, 2022 8:38 am

Poafmersia gets drawn into Group 1 alongside familiar faces; Adnan Suliaha calls on young players to showcase improvement following solid performances at IAC and U18WC
Reported by Sporting Daily
Fisakdaha FC - Adnan Suliaha has called on younger Poafmers "to step up to the plate", signalling that there would be even more young talent moving into the 35-member squad for the World Cup Qualifiers.

Speaking to reporters following the draw, Mr Suliaha mentioned that this draw was one of the better draws they could have for a recovering team, and pointed out that they were lucky to be in the top 2 pots following 2 subpar cycles. "The failure of our team to qualify for the Proper has really put a dent in our rankings, and we were lucky to be able to stay in the top 2 pots. This meant that we continued to be in a position to fight for a spot in the World Cup." However, he also pointed out the playoff system this time, and it could prove to be "problematic" in terms of the path to the Proper. "We only have 1 spot in every group, just like last time. The difference is that a total of 30 teams enter the playoffs, and a bad draw could subject us to the toughest of paths in terms of progression to the playoffs." Familiarity with some of the teams in the group is also a key factor to consider, especially given that many sides in the group are familiar with Poafmersia in some way or another. "We have played some of their domestic clubs, national teams, so this is something to consider for this cycle."

The head coach also confirmed that there will be younger Poafmers in the squad, pointing out that renewal and youth is something the team has been pushing for throughout these few years. "We have realised, at the IAC, that we are neglecting some of the younger players. Therefore, the recent U18 World Cup and the IAC are excellent opportunities to test out players of the future. With the Di Bradini Cup also occuring alongside the Qualifiers, we can then make a better decision on our next generation of players, that will carry us in the next decade of football." He added that he will likely utilise a 35-member squad this time, featuring some players from positions which the national team has never played before. "Some of those players are excellent, and if we can find enough players to fulfill that position, I don't see why I cannot switch formations to suit the players." The tactical flexibility that Mr Suliaha has is something which the Red Panjias has pride themselves on, and it is therefore, an open secret, that the Red Panjias might utilise various formations at the Qualifiers this time.

Poafmersia will kickstart their campaign against Nyowani Kitara, with the New Kitarans definitely eager to showcase their team's unity and strength. It is the first time the Red Panjias will play against Rushmori side following their debut. This will also 5th consecutive time the Red Panjias open their campaign at home, a streak dating back to the 87th World Cup Qualifiers, when they opened at home for the first time, in a 5-1 rout of Bongo Johnson. They will then travel to debutants Football Tiger, who were eliminated in the group stages of the recent Baptism of Fire. This is followed by a mouth-watering fixture at home against top seeds Ko-oren. This is Poafmersia's first meeting with the Dragonflies on the international stage, but Poafmersia has lots of experience against Ko-orenite clubs on the domestic front, with results slightly tilted in Poafmersia's favour. (On 2-legged fixtures, Poafmersian clubs have advanced 2 out of 5 times; while in group stages, Poafmersian clubs won 3 games, drew 1 and lost 1.)

Poafmerisa than visit Prosaic Union, a returning nation, before hosting Xanneria in Fiskadaha City. Even though many people may have heard of Xanneria, especially with some of their players plying their trade in the Poafmersian football pyramid, Poafmersia surprisingly has never played a Xannerian team domestically, or their national team. A trip to debutants Sudalia, who made it to the Round of 16 of the recent Baptism of Fire, rounds up the first half of the first half, before Poafmersia gets a bye on Matchday 7. The last time we had a bye in the Qualifiers, it was World Cup 85, which also featured 15 groups, but 13 teams in each group. Poafmersia continue with a home game against Delaclava, a side Poafmersia met in World Cup 86 Qualifiers. Poafmersia won 1-0 at home but lose 0-3 away, the latter was part of a streak of results that almost got Adnan Suliaha sacked. This was followed by a trip to Sharktail. The Melayu Archipelago side played in the 88th World Cup Qualifiers against Poafmersia, with Poafmersia drawing 2-2 at home and winning 3-1 in Kota Llama. This is followed by a home game against Southwest Eastnorth, a side which Poafmersia is absolutely familiar with. They have played them in both World Cup 86 and World Cup 87 Qualifiers, as well as the 78th Cup of Harmony group stage, where Poafmersia remains unbeaten against them. Poafmersia rounds off the first half with a trip to Equestria. Against the Ponies, Poafmersia have played 2 friendlies away in Equestria during the World Cup 84 cycle, but lost both games against the team who was coming off their first World Cup win in World Cup 83.

Poafmersia launches WCQ microsite for the 8th consecutive cycle, improves Team Lookup page
Reported by Poafmer Times
Poafmer Times and Sporting Daily will co-host the World Cup Qualifiers microsite for the 8th consecutive cycle, and the ownership of the site will return to purely Poafmersian control for this edition.

Speaking at the launch event, Poafmer Times editor-in-chief Justin Sukablach notes the evolution of the microsite over the past 15 years, and how this has became a jewel which the Poafmersian media is willing to showcase to the rest of the multiverse. "In the past, we started from manual reporting. We sent our reporters across the multiverse, collect the results from the deepest ends of the result, and manually entering it into the result. Nowadays, we have been collating these results from various news reports online and offline, and reduced the amount of manual labour required to update the website." Mr Sukablach also highlighted that there has been technical changes to the site, which allows for more automated calculations of statistics as requested by readers. "We have always been listening to our readers in order to know how to improve the site. They asked for more statistics about the predicted rankings, and now, we have incorporated that in the Team Lookup section of our page. We have also realised the difficulties in figuring out the fixture list for some of the teams, and therefore, starting this round, we will make the fixture list incorporated as part of the Team Lookup section."

Going forward, Sporting Daily football team lead Johnathan Hopkinson has promised for the microsite to incorporate historical data. "We are building our repository of data, and all these will be incorporated in future editions of the microsite. We are also talking to our foreign readers and viewers to see additional opinion outside of Poafmersia, and we look forward to building this as a site from Poafemrsia to the world." The site has begun operations, and can be found at http://wcq91.sportingdaily.pf (OOC: https://bit.ly/NSSWCQ91 is the excel sheet you are looking for.)

by **Gnejs** » Wed May 04, 2022 9:06 am

Offside Magazine

World Cup Qualifications

Keep the spirit, expect nothing – an interview with Bjørnstjerne Eriksen
By: Johanna Giffelson

The draw is up, and we now know that the Dandelions will be competing in Group 1 of the WC91-qualifications. Our opponents are Xanneria, Sudilia, Poafmersia, Delaclava, Sharktail, Southwest Eastnorth, Equestria, Nyowani Kitara, Football Tiger and none other than sixth best team in the world right now, Ko-oren. In that order, meaning we’ll start off our campaign against the ‘Maroons’ of Xanneria at home in Port Kejm, before the Dandelions travel all the way to Sudilia for their first away game. We’ll have to hold on for a bit though, because we start with a bye on MD1.

The entire Union is in a football frenzy, but before the madness truly kicks off, we had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Dandelion head coach Bjørnstjerne Eriksen, to get his take on the upcoming qualifications and what to expect. As spring is really starting to embrace Port Kejm, we met up with the the grey eminence of Union football at one of the many benches dotting the waterfront of the capital.

OM: Hello Mr. Eriksen, thank you for speaking with us.

BE: My pleasure.

OM: Very soon you’ll start off your qualification campaign. How are you feeling?

BE: The entire squad is very excited, of course. We are looking forward to test ourselves against such distinguished opposition. Just travelling abroad is a big thing for many of our players; I doubt any of them have been as far away as the Melayu Archipelago or Anaia before.

OM: You start out with a home game against Xanneria, but you’ll also be up against teams like Sharktail, Nyowani Kitara, Poafmersia and Ko-oren in your group. Big names in international football. How have you and the team prepared for the gargantuan task of going up against a team like Ko-oren or Nyowani Kitara?

BE: Well, we only learned who our opponents are recently, so essentially nothing. But of course we’ve prepared in other ways, and some of the teams we know better than others, like fellow Rushmori nations. We’ll make sure to study our opposition closely in the coming days, both games from previous competitions but also the upcoming MD1.

OM: Yes, about that. Starting out with a bye on MD1, is that a good thing or not?

BE: In one way it’s preferable, because we’ll get a chance to study our opposition while remaining more of a mystery ourselves. On the other hand we’ll enter the contest against a team that’s already ‘warmed up’, which may not be as favorable.

OM: The Dandelions are unranked and lack much in terms of international experience. There is no denying that. However, the recent Copa Rushmori is a notable exception, and marked the start for PUFF’s long-term ambitions concerning international participation. The Dandelions ended up in fourth place in Group A, with only one point to show for their effort. What does this tell us about our chances in the upcoming qualifications for the World Cup?

BE: It tells us a number of things. The most obvious lesson is of course one of realism and the devious nature of expectations. I know many people are excited about these qualifications, both watching our team play abroad and welcoming other teams here. It is almost impossible to not approach these grand events without a lingering sensation that maybe, just maybe, we will be the exception to the rule and defy all odds. And that’s a part of it, of course, and do hang on to some of that spirit. The Copa did show us, however, what playing on an international level is like, and it is tough. On the other hand, the Copa also showed that we are a strong and disciplined team that should not be underestimated.

OM: Could you elaborate a bit on that? Because one point in four games doesn’t necessarily signal strength.

BE: That is of course true, in a sense. Nevertheless, looking beyond the points earned and rather to the games played, I walked away from the Copa Rushmori strengthened in my belief that Union football is not beyond competing on the international level. We need time and devotion, of course, but we have a strong foundation to build on.

OM: I’m sorry to linger on this, but could I ask for a little more insight into your take on the Union Copa campaign? Many fans expressed great disappointment at your results, so I was wondering if you could elucidate a bit on what exactly makes you say it actually signaled strength?

BE: I know a lot of people were disappointed, but this again has to do with an unhealthy set of expectations. Contrary to popular belief, we did not travel to Pasarga with illusions about winning games and advancing past the group stage. The aim with competing in the Copa Rushmori was to test ourselves against international opposition, and our ambition was always to try to match that level as best we could by playing to our strengths. And I think that we did just that. All throughout we exhibited a clear strategy that we managed to put into play. We played well against Kalosia, and were very close to coming away the winner, whereas we very nearly clinched a share of the points against both Gatchingerrak and Pasarga. I think our effort against the latter particularly showed the potential of our highly defensive «northern football» to disrupt opponents of, let us be honest, superior skill. The loss against Cassadaigua is less of a good example, of course, because we were never really in that game. They dislocated us completely, and there is not much else to be said about that. But barring that, we only conceded a single goal per game, and I believe this shows our style of play and strategy is sustainable against more experienced and skilled teams. Therefore, I view our Copa campaign as a show of strength.

OM: And am I right in assuming that you’ll keep the starting lineup and overall strategy from the Copa going into this qualification campaign, or have you made adjustments?

BE: We’re still very much in the process of building this team and implementing how we want to play. So yes, we’ll be continuing what we started in the Copa and keep building on that. I remain convinced this represents our best opportunity to strengthen our game.

OM: I must say, when you put it like that, it all reads rather exciting, and I’m almost tempted to wonder if maybe we can expect some great moments of joy in this upcoming campaign after all.

BE: That would be a grave mistake and nothing short of a sure-fire recipe for disappointment.

OM: So despite all, you’re saying there’s no hope? That’s your message?

BE: There is always hope. But one must never allow that hope to morph into expectation.

OM: So… how do you keep it from doing that?

BE: Keep the spirit of hope, but disinvest from it.

OM: I’m sorry, I’m still not getting it.

BE: Approach each battle hoping for the best, but embrace whatever happens.

OM: Isn’t that kind of like not caring?

BE: It’s a thin line. So strive to be on the right side, otherwise you might as well not follow the qualifications at all.

OM: Ok. Eh, thank you Mr. Eriksen, and good luck.

BE: Thank you kindly.

So I guess the lesson here is: it’s ok to be hopeful, but don’t get upset when we lose. And that makes sense, I guess.

The Dandelions will go up against Xanneria down at ‘The Dock’ on MD2.

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by **Xanneria** » Wed May 04, 2022 9:29 am

Xannerian star defects to SWEN ahead of WCQ
excerpt from http://www.xtrasports.xan

DOMINCA CITY - With the Xannerian Maroons returning to the world cup qualifying scene after a three year absence, there was some shocking but at the same time a bit expected news coming out of the Maroons camp. Striker Austin Navarro has switched his to Southwest Eastnorth. Like many people in both nations, the population of either nation claims ancestry to the early Virginian tribes of Tonissia. Because of that, it's not unheard of for players to switch allegiances on the back of the shared Virginian ancestry each nation claims. But those who do are usually fringe players like Lisa Davidson and Mike Donaldson who did this to give themselves a better shot at making some form of a National Team, or players simply looking to shift over to places where they'd have a better chance at plying their trade for a team or just to make them locals feel more at ease with them. Austin Navarro on the other hand did this for other reasons. Last FLOX season the 18 year old Navarro signed with the defending Virginia Cup winners, Delano City SC. Delano then went out and signed 35 year old Aviya Uchiha from Hinode soon after. The DCSC team then made it known the pair of Navarro and Uchiha would split time during games.

Needless to say this wrecked Delano's team chemistry during the FLOX Omega Division season and the team tanked. It was clear that Navarro and Ingram weren't getting along well and eventually the press brought forth their war of words as Navarro accused the staff of favoritism towards Ingram, and Ingram responded by calling Navarro a "self centered child". It was a fued that boiled over and Delano eventually stated they were going to put Navarro on the Transfer Window, so that problem was solved domestically but with the return to the World Cup and their respective qualifiers, the FAX looked as if they wanted to keep both players on the roster. As a new outlet this was looking like some prime beef potential but alas, not to be as now as he has defected to Southwest Eastnorth.

Or so we thought! The World Cup Committee has Announced that World Cup Qualification Group one will contain both Xanneria and Southwest Eastnorth!

Xannerian 25th Anniversary WCQ National Tour - In honor of the 25th anniversary of Xanneria playing in their first World Cup Qualifier, here's the list of stadiums we will be playing at.

STADIUM: XANAir Nation stadium II
CAPACITY: 62,500
LOCATION: Dominca City, Xannerian Capital Territory
OPPONENT(S): Ko-Oren, Southwest Eastnorth, Poafmersia, Delaclava

STADIUM: Columbia-Crewe Stadium
CAPACITY: (30,000)
LOCATION: New Chapel, Sutherland
OPPONENT(S): Gnejs

STADIUM: MetroCom Stadium
CAPACITY: 45,000
LOCATION: Alexandria, South York
OPPONENT(S): Nyowoni Kitara,

STADIUM: Mercyhurt Road
CAPACITY: 40,000
LOCATION: Hawthorne, Denalia
OPPONENT(S): Sharktail

STADIUM: Air Force Veteransd Memorial Stadium
CAPACITY: 41,000
LOCATION: Houston, Tacoma
OPPONENT(S): Sudilla

STADIUM: Benson Dome
CAPACITY: 60,000
LOCATION: Asbury Park, Anclaire
OPPONENT(S): Equestria

STADIUM: Downtown Municipal Stadium
CAPACITY: 40,000
LOCATION: Saint Geoffreystown, Agnew
OPPONENT(S): Football Tiger

by **Soldera** » Wed May 04, 2022 11:01 am

Usually, it's the older brother who blazes the trail for a younger sibling to follow. Usually, the older brother is the one calling the shots and it's the younger sibling who has to adjust when it's their turn to lead a family, an organization, or a sports team.

To say new Solderan national team manager Larry Carricker is in an unusual position is to make an understatement. His baby brother Norm went from managing the Snakes in the World Cup 90 qualifying cycle to becoming technical director. A coaching search that derailed when the Solderan Football Association decided Joey Westway wasn't ready for the rigors of managing a team, in particular a World Cup qualifying side.

Norm Carricker made the pitch for Westway to get the job, knowing full well Larry Carricker didn't really want to deal with the vagaries of a 20-match qualifying cycle. However, with the SFA deciding Westway wasn't the right person for the job, it led to a very reluctant Larry Carricker becoming the third full-time manager in Snakes history.

Reflecting on the events that led a man who wanted to retire into the so-called big chair at the helm of the Snakes ship, Larry Carricker said he hoped to build on what Norm Carricker did.

"All things considered, Norm did a terrific job managing this team," Larry Carricker said. "That part makes my job a little easier. We don't have an easy road to qualifying, but I don't have to reinvent the wheel. There's something already in place."

Larry Carricker acknowledged the difficulties in replacing Westway's abilities on the pitch and, more importantly, his veteran presence with the captain's armband. He admitted he was in the "final stages" of bringing Westway and former defender Davis Perez on as assistants, and he added that their experience with the team as players would certainly help the coaching staff in its ability to reach and relate to the current squad. However, he also said the two former Snakes and the remaining players on the first squad to attempt to qualify for the World Cup would have to adjust to each other's different roles.

"It's one thing when you're in the dressing room day in and day out at practice and at games," Larry Carricker said. "It's another thing when you're emerging from the coaches' room to address the players. It's going to be a transition, no doubt about it."

That won't be the only transition. Defensive midfielder Greg Irvine now dons the captain's armband as one of the elder statesmen of the squad as defender Chuck Ingram becomes the alternate captain, and at age 32 years, one of the oldest players on the squad. However, Ingram said the designation is "less meaningful" than it would have been four years ago.

"In our first qualifying campaign, there wasn't a lot of World Cup qualifying experience on this squad," he said. "Now several of us have been through the rigors of qualifying, even though the previous campaign was a lot shorter than this one." As for the team's decision to withdraw from the Copa Rushmori, Larry Carricker admitted the decision by the SFA left the Snakes at a "disadvantage."

"We would have had the opportunity to try new players in their new roles," he said. "As it stands now, we're going to need to play some friendly matches and hope that provided sufficient preparation." He also said the fact the Snakes aren't competing in the Baptism of Fire Cup since they're no longer a debutant nation also makes things a bit more difficult, but added, "we knew about that going in."

"There's a curse that goes, 'may you live in interesting times'," Larry Carricker said. "Looks like we're about to find out how interesting those times are about to get.

by **Hapilopper** » Wed May 04, 2022 4:23 pm

The Team Hapilopper Headquarters, Hapilopper City
A day after the World Cup 91 Qualifying Draw

Nathan Ellis had a huge smile on his face as he looked out towards the practice pitch from the window of his office. There was so much to be excited about. Team Hapilopper, the national soccer team representing the Dominion of Hapilopper, was in the midst of practices for the World Cup 91 qualifying campaign. The morale of the team was probably the highest it had ever been as they got ready for their first match, and it showed. The players were looser, more excited and were visibly enjoying themselves as they got ready for the campaign.

Even better, Team Hapilopper wound up getting a really good draw. The team would start its campaign at home, at Capital Stadium, against the Easties of East Murbley, an unranked side that the Haps knew little about. The home opener for Team Hapilopper was always one of the most exciting matches of the season for the Haps – everyone was excited as could be for the upcoming season, the team had a clean slate and just as much a chance to qualify as the next team, and even better, this year, the Haps would be raising a banner before the match started to celebrate the team’s successful qualification for World Cup 90.

There was so much to be excited about. Team Hapilopper might not have gotten who they wanted for their group, but they ended up with a really good group regardless. Good, at least, for their chances, they felt.

Their next opponent would be the team from the Euran Oceania Territories, a possible bump in the road over in the subregion; Kelssek, a very strong side that got its clock cleaned by the Wreckerians a year ago; Savigliane, another possible dangerous side; Macbon, a team on the rise; Valanora, the always-dangerous team that was probably going to win the group; Baggieland, a team with a cool name; Eastfield Lodge, a side that had tried for decades and decades only to qualify for one World Cup proper; Caribbia; and Abanhfleft, another possible dangerous side.

Nathan sat back at his computer and looked at his schedule. He stared down the name “VALANORA” on his computer screen and shuddered. The third-ranked team in the multiverse. Five-time World Cup champions. The Eternal Empire. The Elves Security Forces. The Vanorians. Nathan could hear voices in his head. Voices of impending doom. Voices of impending catastrophe. Something along the lines of “AND THE ETERNAL EMPIRE LEADS SIX NOTHING IN THE THIRTIETH!”

The voices kept getting louder, to the point that Nathan didn’t notice or hear head coach Thom Perkins walk into the room. When Thom walked in the room, he could see that whatever Nathan was looking at was traumatizing him, scaring him. So Thom tried to make Nathan snap out of it.

“Nathan? Nathan! NATHAN! NATHAN!!!” Thom shouted, getting Nathan to snap out of this near-catatonic daze he had been in. “The fuck’s your problem, Ellis? I leave the office for one second and I come back to see you looking like you were remembering some memory from some war. What is the matter with you?”

“The elves… the elves… the elves,” Nathan said in a daze. “We’ve got the elves.”

Thom rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Yes, I know we’ve got the elves,” Thom groused. “We’ve got Valanora. I’m very well aware of that. But they’re not for at least a month. If we look to the elves now, we’re going to forget everyone else. I asked you for some notes on East Murbley, you got them yet?”

“Yeah, I don’t have much on them, coach,” Nathan replied. “I guess this is their first match, so I don’t have a lot of info on them. No Baptism of Fire either, I don’t think, so I don’t have a lot of film or game notes. We’ll have more next week with EOT, but none today. So what I figure we’ll do is go out there, play our normal game, I’ll bonk some heads and we’ll win ourselves a good one.”

“Nothing?” Thom asked.

“Not a thing,” Nathan said. “You know if I had film I’d be watching it now. You know me. So I just told the kids to go out, get ready for an unranked opponent and let’s do the best we can for the home opener. We’ve got to win that one.”

“Damn right,” Thom said. “How about we get a drink or two, I’m buying.”

Center Street Pub, Hapilopper City
20 minutes later

While Center Street Pub was still a quiet little hole-in-the-wall dive bar in the basement of a building in Hapilopper City, it had increased in popularity over the last year. This is what happens when Hapiloppian soccer players get their shit together and start doing real well out there on the pitch, I guess. And not only had it increased in popularity, but the energy there had picked up. People were talking about Hapilopper’s chances to qualify for their second World Cup proper, and the mood was very, very high as people talked about the chances.

Sitting at a back table, away from the fray, Nathan and Thom were sharing a bottle of Dusty Sioux whiskey and discussing their chances. The two, surprisingly, had grim looks on their faces as they watched the crowd.

“This is our best shot,” Thom said. “But yet, this might be one of our toughest runs. I saw something in that office that scared me. You’re afraid of Valanora, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Nathan said. “I think they could wreck us bad. Real bad.”

“That’s a possibility,” Thom said. “They are good. Too good. But at least they’re not The Holy Empire. Jesus H. Christ, man, could you imagine how screwed we’d be if we pulled The Holy Empire and Vilita? Or Starblaydia and Turori? I mean, I feel bad for the teams that have to deal with those guys – in one group, no less! I was on the phone with Dom last night and he said he damn near had a heart attack when he saw The Holy Empire and Vilita drawn in one group, almost had another with Starblaydia and Turori, and almost had a third one when that one Farf guy doing the draw screwed it up.”

“Yeah, what happened there?” Nathan asked. “I went to bed early last night, what happened?”

“Apparently he started giving the group draws out of order,” Thom said. “You should have seen the texts Dom sent me. All kinds of ‘What the fuck’ and ‘this guy’s an idiot’ texts. I had to talk him off the ledge this morning, he was about to send a message to the WCC demanding a re-draw because he felt that guy had screwed it up.”

“Well, did he?” Nathan asked.

Thom chuckled.

“I don’t think he did, I bet the Wreckerians do though.”

“Why?”

“They got Starblaydia and Turori.”

by **Wreckeria** » Wed May 04, 2022 5:49 pm

From: “The Tales of a Dead Country – The Story of Wreckeria’s World Cup 91 Campaign” by Gord Radcliff

1: Welcome to Halsted

Arrival

Coming into Halsted, the former capital of Wreckeria, was such a weird experience. I had heard about Halsted in the past from people I used to cover in my old job. One man who lived here, a man named Chris, talked about watching people get mugged on the regular. He talked about how everything looked like it was falling apart and it looked like it wasn’t getting better any time soon. I remember how he talked about how Halsted was the exact opposite from Hapilopper City, its counterpart in, well, Hapilopper.

And come to think of it, as I pulled into my hotel not far from Unification Stadium, the new “national” stadium for the Wreckerian team, I could see where he was coming from. Hapilopper City was bright, bold, and beautiful. There was something happening at some point in all hours of the day. You could get shit-faced drunk at nine in the morning; you could catch a wild punk rock show at eleven at night; or you could drop by Hamilton Square and go people-watching, watch the bloodthirsty NSSCRA fans as they enjoy some godawful race in a place like the Sherpa Empire or Saint Kanye or Vilita.

Halsted, meanwhile, was obviously in the process of being rebuilt. The story goes that for over 50 years, this place was the centerpiece of some of the most violent scenes Atlantian Oceania had ever seen, as Wreckerians fought Wreckerians for reasons that nobody knows or gives a shit about anymore. All everyone knows is that they wanted nothing to do with Wreckeria anymore but couldn’t afford to go anywhere else. Even as people were trying to rebuild their city, the city they called their own, I could sense the enduring vibes from those wars, from that depression.

It made me wonder if this was even a good idea. It made me wonder if my editor was thinking clearly when he told me to cover the Wreckerian football team for World Cup 91. Part of me wondered if he was joking with me, if I was in hot water for something I had done. I was used to that. In my last job, I wasn’t sure what was worse – an editor yelling at me or some 300-foot Valentian Valkyrie General staring me down. But my editor insisted – this wasn’t a joke, this was some inspirational story that everyone would like.

Give me a break. There was nothing inspirational about Halsted at this time. All it was was some sad place trying to rebuild. The football team may have been good, but this was a football team for a country that didn’t exist anymore, almost as if nations like Crosshill, Brazillico, or Agazul or Polar Island States were fielding teams in this World Cup. So why was Wreckeria still out here? Why was a team calling themselves the “Independent Wreckerian Athletes” allowed to participate?

I got my answer soon afterward, from a guy named Steve. Steve worked in the hotel. He was a 45-year old man that looked 65. All he knew was struggle. He had bounced from job to job throughout his life, and lived in one of those tenement apartments a few blocks from here, one of those apartments with wood-grained walls and a weird smell of cigarettes. He knew exactly why Wreckeria was fielding a team in the World Cup.

“It gives us hope,” Steve told me. “All we’ve got is the football team. We had nothing, but then they appeared last year for the World Cup, and it gave us a reason to live. All of us watch their games, and all of us cheer for them.”

Hope. That makes sense. Steve told me about how his father had told him about the team that played in World Cup 30, and how they had done so poorly against virtually every nation they had played. They were a team without a rudder. Steve told me about how they had lost their captain, their primary goal-scoring threat just before the qualifying campaign. Kidnapped by the True Wreckerians. His name was Drake Stevenson.

My eyes went wide before I realized who it was. This was the grandfather of the NSSCRA driver, that depraved person who took pride in slamming people into concrete walls and laughing about it.

Steve told me about how Wreckeria had done so well in the last World Cup, actually leading their group at one point. How they had beaten teams like Kelssek, Omerica and Astograth. How Wreckeria had, at one point, a very real possibility of not only having their best qualifying campaign ever, but having a very real chance of qualifying for the World Cup. Steve told me that while Wreckeria didn’t qualify, the fact they came so close brought so much hope to the people of Wreckeria.

“So many people I know, they remember watching how bad that team was 60 years ago,” Steve said. “And then they watched this team, and watched this team lead their group. I don’t think you’ll truly get just how big of a deal that was for all of us. I don’t think you get it. We were so bad, and then we became so good. We weren’t supposed to beat Kelssek. We weren’t supposed to beat Omerica. We weren’t supposed to beat Astograth. We weren’t supposed to lead our group.”

It started making sense to me.

Enter Biscuit

The next day, I visited Unification Stadium for the first time. Under construction for a couple of years, the stadium was originally in the works as a new version of Wreckeria’s old national stadium that had been burned to the ground by the True Wreckerians. And what a glistening jewel it had become. I talked to a city councilman in Halsted, who was also on site, and he told me they had plans for Unification Stadium. This was going to be the new center of town. Businesses, retail, places for people to live, he talked so glowingly about the future of this place.

I was skeptical, but I figured he knew more than me. I hoped he would be right. After all, that’d look better than the wreckage that dotted the area.

When I was there, standing off on the sideline, I spotted one of the most peculiar characters I have ever encountered – a 6 foot 3, 299 pound giant of a man. His mother named him William. He calls himself Biscuit. The story goes that he was named that way because, as his teammates say, “he’s a biscuit away from 300.”

“Hey, I ain’t seen you before,” Biscuit says, walking up to me. “You some media guy?”

“Yeah,” I say to him, “I’m with Hap Sports Quarterly. I’ve been assigned to cover you for the World Cup.”

“Assigned?” Biscuit says, almost offended by that word. Later, I understand why. It sounded a little too official to him. A little too formal. Biscuit is anything but official or formal. “Shit, man, that sounds like work! You got to enjoy ya’self. Shit, tell you what, when we’re done here, I’ll buy you a beer.”

I nod my head. I don’t mind, but I’m also a little intrigued. Pro athletes don’t normally partake like that right before huge matches or in the middle of practice. Sure, I had encountered NSSCRA drivers like Drake Stevenson get wildly drunk the night before races, but the question of if race car drivers are athletes still remains to be answered, and I am leaning towards no.

Biscuit, meanwhile, was different. Here was a 300-pound man running with the speed and grace of a man half his size on the soccer pitch, while at the bar after practice, I learned very quickly that his definition of “a beer” was pretty much the same as mine. One beer became two, then three, and then the whiskey was pulled out. And it was there that I got to learn who Biscuit Gilbert really was.

Biscuit Gilbert, you see, hates being called William. That name just sounds too official, too formal. Biscuit doesn’t own any ties or any suits. His idea of “formal” is to pick up a tuxedo t-shirt at a Mel’s Ultra-Mart or off the clearance rack, then to show up to the formal occasion six beers in. His mantra is “do what makes you happy, to hell with what anyone else thinks.”

Immediately, I realized that Biscuit and I were going to become good friends.

“I’m a shitty-ass singer at karaoke,” Biscuit tells me. “But I love’ta do it. I love to go out there and sing, because it’s fun. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I ain’t going out for no recording contract, I ain’t cuttin’ no album, I’m just going out here to have fun. Life should be about having the most fun at the end of da day. Question for ya, you agree wit’ that?”

“I do,” I say. “I get that.”

“See, I couldn’t bear t’be in an office or in no damn factory for five days a week, 40 hours a week,” Biscuit tells me. “That shit’s boring. Yeah, ya get paid, but I’d rather go out and have fun instead. See, I envy ya, what’d you say your name was?”

“My name is Gord Radcliff,” I tell him. “I used to go a pen name, Hap O’Loppa. But I get it.”

“See, you’re a writer, you get to go out n’see places, man,” Biscuit tells me. “Ya’ get to go out and see us. Ya get to LIVE, man. Ya can exist, or ya can LIVE.”

I realize that I like this guy a lot. Biscuit has a decided country accent, an accent of someone that, someone with their nose up in the air would say has a pronounced lack of sophistication. Someone that wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground, someone that wouldn’t know how to walk and chew gum at the same time. Anyone who thinks that doesn’t know Biscuit Gilbert. Biscuit Gilbert is a real man, someone who knows what it’s like to live. Someone who knows how to live. Someone who dives into adventures head-first on a daily basis. Someone who knows a hell of a lot more about living than some bean counter that works in some stuffy 35th floor Hapilopper City office doing whatever bullshit that bean counters do.

No wonder Wreckerians fell in love with this team. With guys like Biscuit Gilbert, how could you not? I figured this guy right here was everything Wreckeria needed to be, everything Wreckeria hoped to be.

by **Sharktail** » Wed May 04, 2022 7:36 pm

Sharktail Post EP61

"My first goal for the WCQ competition this time is to collect 3 full points in match 1. 7th time participating in wcq, we won only once. We come up close each time to qualify, but 3rd place is our highest achievement. So, i want to make sure we're gonna minimize the damage this time. "

That was Carol's comment in the first press conference of the Sharktail team that took place at Wisma Bola Sepak Sharktail, Kota Lama.

Carol, who will be handling Sharktail for his fourth WCQ campaign, said a good start could give more morale injections to the players.

"Looking at a match result does not guarantee anything, but the mental and morale of the player may be disturbed and down. It's one of tye important aspect. Dealing with low morale player is sometimes more hassle than dealing with injury player."

When asked about his decision to stay with Sharktail despite the rather harsh criticism received before, Carol is still optimistic he will be able to give something to the team.

"Under me, we got MAC 9, pass to quarter final MAC 10, and 3rd place in last WCQ. Just to say i care less about the talk now. As SFA willing to sit with me and offer me a new extension so be it. I got here based on their judgment on me, so until i think it enough, whether that gonna be me myself or SFA, so that time i will say goodbye."

Sharktail will start the qualifier hosting Southwest Eastnorth’s visit at the Stadium Biru before flying to Equestria for the second match.

X1 vs Southwest Eastnorth
Maxter (GK)
Harold • Maqri • Homer • Hatim
Azaim (c) • Max
Nazmi • Win • Amar
Ilias

X1 vs Equestria
Maxter (GK)
Harold • Maqri • Homer • Hatim
Azaim (c) • Twin
Nazmi • Mokhtar • Amar
Win

Unavailable player
Irfan (rec) - out for both match
Twin (flu) - out for match one
Balang (inj) -out for both match
Haziq (flu) -out for match one

(ooc: it you see i write about flu or virus or whatever,it just normal one, nothing like covid or whatever , so dont worry.)

by **Drawkland** » Wed May 04, 2022 9:08 pm

These are the venues for Drawkland's World Cup 91 Qualifying home games.

WC91 Qualifying Home Schedule
Matchday, Opponent, Stadium Name, Capacity, City
Kick Corps record at stadium (plus a nickname if one exists)
Fun fact about venue

MD1 vs Bendicion: Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500), Sadeg
Kick Corps record at the Vet: 30-7-12
This will be the 50th Kick Corps game played at SVS.
That puts them one game ahead of the home field of the old Kick Corps, Drawk City Stadium.

MD3 vs Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom: The Root Field (133,300), Elstrund
Kick Corps record in Elstrund's Shadow: 2-0-0
In both games in the 133,300 seater, the Kick Corps scored 3 goals and won.

MD6 vs StrayaRoos Barrier Islands: Treasure Trove Stadium (106,150), Shire-Port
The Corps has never played in Shire-Port-Bay.
Home of the Corsairs in the DLK, Treasure Trove is delightfully pirate-themed.

MD8 vs Soldera: Panar Bank Park (99,000), Masteser
Kick Corps record at PBP: 0-0-1
The loss in Masteser was the only home loss of Drawkland's WC88 campaign.

MD10 vs Squidroidia: National Pitch (149,000), Metropolon
Kick Corps record inside NatPitch: 2-1-1
This is the only indoor stadium on the home schedule this cycle.

MD13 vs The Sarian: Oreme Field (115,000), Kilnelm
Kick Corps record at the Oreme O: 2-0-0
Only home venue this cycle that's the home of both gridiron and soccer teams.

MD15 vs Valladares: Kanyo Pitch (164,000), Kayo
Kick Corps record at the Crown Ring: 3-1-2
"Crown Ring" is a play on "Crown Jewel", the nickname of the neighboring KayoDome.
It's also appropriate considering the ring-like bowl shape of Kanyo Pitch.

MD18 vs Audioslavia: Drawk City Stadium (175,000), Drawk City
Kick Corps record in their old home: 33-13-3
Drawkland hasn't lost in Drawk City since MD2 of WC81 qualifying (0-1 loss to Barunia).
That was the only time the Kick Corps has ever been shut out in Drawk City Stadium.

MD20 vs Togonistan: Castle Stadium (149,500), Raikennax
Kick Corps record in the Charge's Fortress: 7-1-1
Drawkland has played in one game in Raikennax outside of Castle Stadium.
It was a 4-2 win over The Penguinland in Stad-Stallion (IAC-7 QF).

MD22 vs StrayaRoos: Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500), Sadeg
Kick Corps record at the Vet: 30-7-12
Hopefully it's 31-7-12 by the time this game is played, though.

Here's some really shitty statistical analysis I did in a fit of hyperfixation

According to statistical precedent of all Kick Corps games held on Drawkian soil, 6.23 of these will be wins, 2.21 will be draws, and 1.56 will be losses.
According to similar precedent of all Kick Corps games held away but not on neutral ground, 5.40 will be wins, 2.42 will be draws, and 2.18 will be losses.

From this, we can assume Drawkland will gain approximately 20.9 points of a possible 30 from the home games and 18.62 points of a possible 30 from away games. Let's err on the hopeful side, this implies Drawkland will earn 40 points out of 60, an even average of 2 points per match.

In this qualifying format, the top team in the group will go directly to the World Cup (and pass Go, collecting $200, I think). The 2nd and 3rd place teams will go to a playoff to battle for a last chance to make the World Cup.

So, is 2 points per game good enough to at least make the playoffs in this format? For reference, we're going to look at how many teams averaged 2 ppg and finished lower than third in their group in recent history. By recent history, we mean going back from World Cup 85 (a great World Cup hosted by very cool and awesome hosts) to the present. How many teams would miss out on the playoffs in this cycle despite averaging 2+ points per game?

This is great news for the Elite Eleven Kick Corps. Only three nations since World Cup 85 have gotten lower than third place in their groups when gaining 2 points per game or better. Those that did miss were in pretty dense groups. Plus, none of those formats gave playoff spots to 3rd place teams anyway, so they were pretty far out from contending for a qualifying spot anyway. So, if Drawkland performs as expected, there's an extremely high chance they'll at least grab a playoff spot. If you want to look at this for precedent, Drawkland has entered World Cup Qualifying 14 times so far, 15 when this cycle begins. Of those 14 times, Drawkland has either qualified and/or made the playoff 12 times. Therefore, Drawkland has about an 85% chance of at least making the playoff.

However, Drawkland's tendency is to absolutely shit the bed in qualification playoffs. The Kick Corps currently holds a 1/5 success rate in WCQ playoffs, with their only success being their first playoff appearance, World Cup 80 against Valladares. Thus, it would be in Drawkland's best interest to qualify outright and avoid the playoffs entirely. With the 2 points per game projection in mind, let's see how many teams since World Cup 85 have gotten first place in their group despite only average 2 ppg.

Since World Cup 85, four nations (almost five) have taken first place in the group despite average 2 or fewer points per game. Interestingly, most of these nations weren't even the Pot 1 team in their groups. However, three of those teams were from World Cup 90, which featured pretty small groups and the shortest qualifying schedule since World Cup 83 (second lowest in Drawkland's history). We also noted a fair amount of nations who only outperformed 2ppg by a single win or fewer and placed first in their group. Pretty much all those nations were the Pot 1 team who simply underperformed in a weak group. Drawkland, entering World Cup 91 qualifying from Pot 3, doesn't really fit into such a category, but we included those nations just in case.

Essentially, Drawkland's chances of missing the playoffs and skipping the playoffs via direct qualification is about equally unlikely. In a Group 7 which seems to be mid-tier at first glance, the Kick Corps' chances of not making the playoffs are even lower.

Let's look at precedent once more. Of the five times Drawkland has gone to the qualification playoffs, all of them have been in streaks. WC80 & WC81, and now a streak from WC88 until now. With the last three cycles ending in a playoff berth, the signs are pointing to Drawkland doing the same this time, and based on how the last three have gone, the Corps will be relegated to another Cup of Harmony appearance.

But wait! Drawkland qualified for their first four World Cup tries (77-80), then missed three straight World Cups (81-83). They then qualified for the next four World Cups (84-87), and now they've missed another three straight (88-90). Based on THAT precedent, Drawkland should be a shoo-in to qualify for World Cups 91 and 92, then host World Cup 93, qualify for World Cup 94, then drop for another three cycles. Does the Kick Corps really operate like clockwork? This cycle will be crucial in determining if this qualification almanac still works.

The Elite Eleven have an uphill battle, though. Drawkland is 48th in the KPB rankings with 15.46. This is quite literally the worst KPB Drawkland has had since the conclusion of World Cup 77, and how can you fault those guys? That was their first cycle. This is also the second-worst ranking for the Kick Corps, with last cycle's 51st being the lowest post-cycle KPB ranking Drawkland has ever experienced. One could expect Drawkland to have a good qualifying campaign, perhaps even qualify, based on all the precedent and statistical analysis we've done here today. This is all ignoring the fact that this is statistically the worst-off Drawkland has ever been entering a qualifying campaign since our second cycle. On the other other hand, Drawkland has qualified for the World Cup every time their KPB started less than 16 (77 & 78). Does that mean anything?

Okay fine, one more inconsequential element to consider. Drawkland has been to five IAC championship games. They've lost four of those, with the only win coming in IAC-6. In all but one of the IAC final appearances, Drawkland would go on to fail to qualify for the following World Cup. The only exception was their first IAC final, IAC-4 against Free Republics, which preceded World Cup 80. Therefore, it's been over ten cycles since Drawkland has gone to the IAC final and qualified afterward. With the Kick Corps picking up their fifth appearance this past cycle with their loss against HUElavia in IAC-15, the regional performance element is back in play.

TO SUM IT ALL UP:
Drawkland's chances of at least making the playoffs: virtually guaranteed
Drawkland's chances of qualifying directly without playoffs: low but reasonable
Drawkland's chances of qualifying through playoffs (playoff or regional precedent): extremely low, virtually impossible
Drawkland's chances of qualifying through playoffs (past qualification precedent): virtually guaranteed
Drawkland's chances of qualifying if you look at their KPB points: ~~very bad~~ apparently pretty good?

No matter the result, patience with the Elite Eleven is reaching all-time lows here in Drawkland. DISC pulled the plug on the original Kick Corps after only two missed qualifications, and the Elite Eleven Kick Corps has missed qualification 4 times now (one of those times was their first cycle, so we'll cut them some slack), with three being in the last three cycles. You have to imagine DISC will be kicking them to the curb if they don't make something happen in World Cup 91. And don't even get me started on how they've played in the actual World Cups they qualified for.

In short, this cycle is make or break for so many reasons. Thankfully, Drawkland has once again been gifted with a fairly soft qualifying group. Say what you want about the Kick Corps, but they've always taken advantage of soft qualifying groups. Oh God, somebody please stop me before I start looking on my stat sheet again for fuck's sake it's been like two hours ok bye hope u enjoyed
thanks to Audio, whose Stats Central I borrowed to look at rank information.

by **Ranoria** » Thu May 05, 2022 12:56 am

From Rebranding To Retooling, Ranoria Is A Team In Flux - Can The Snow Bears Do What the Krauts Couldn't?

Some fans may be taken aback by the new blue uniforms donned by the national team against the distinctive red turf of their beloved Smith Field

World Cup 90 was Ranoria's best opportunity to qualify yet. Loaded with players as talented as our nation has produced who were all driven, many pushing into the last of their prime playing years. Others, like decorated midfielder Rayko Grossman, laced up one last time to try and contribute in short spurts. Those efforts weren't totally in vain - the Krauts earned an 8-3-3 record, their third consecutive Qualifying run that saw them post a winning record - and more twice as many wins as losses to boot.

In World Cups 89 and 90, Ranoria finished 9-5-4 and 8-3-3, respectively. Both marks were good for 4th place in the group and a winning record. After a first round loss in the Baptism of Fire 74 knockouts and a 6-1-11 in the ensuing cup, certainly respectable marks - even if an 0-3-2 stretch to finish World Cup 89 was a gut punch. In World Cup 88, with an 11-2-5 mark, the team was a single point short of qualifying, and we haven't been farther than 4 our since that less-storied 87th edition.

90 was supposed to be the breakthrough. But instead, the longtime core of the national team, try as they might, couldn't close the gap. Plenty of players have retired. Tony Hamilton, Dresden Crux, Esther Simson, Lioni Grendel, and Michael Bier. Most stinging is Rayko Grossman, who at 38 returned for one last run to try and get this team over the hump as a backup. He's one of the best soccer players in our nation's history, but he couldn't do it. Despite a heroic 4-0 push to end the qualifying campaign, his Krauts were eliminated with two contests left to go.

There's no shame for Grossman in his being seen in tears on the bench at the end of that one, their elimination having already been confirmed despite the 2-0 win over United Adaikes.

Other long time starters like striker Julian Morris and defender Jules Annina, both 30, are now second-string with incoming youth. The decision is questionable, as with Annina in particular, his chemistry with defensive centerpiece Kris Reinhardt may be enough to make it more beneficial to keep him on the field, but the short of it is that this team looks completely different than it did two years ago. Of the new kids - all members of the first winless team in Ranorian international sporting history in the Di Bradini Cup 53 - Sabra Sapharina is the biggest name. While three time NAAF defensive player of the year Kris Reinhardt is undeniably the best player on the back end, Sapharina is the odds-on favorite to supplant her in the future, a young talent who's stock is on a meteoric rise. If this team is to make waves in this Cup, her performance will more than likely be a part of it.

So - with so much turnover - the NAAF's World Cup committee decided to make some other branding changes.

In our Baptism of Fire and subsequent World Cup debuts, the team elected to adopt the traditional Ranorian national team nickname of "Krauts" along with the customary red attire. However, coming into this cup, they decided that in order to "promote variety and novelty whilst standing out from the rest of the nation's representatives in sport." Our Di Bradini 54 team now goes by "Snow Cubs," and fittingly the World Cup squad adopted the moniker "Snow Bears." Uniforms changed to match the new branding, from the traditional red to a lighter blue.

Some fans have of course been critical of the change, as the blue stands in stark contrast to the crimson of Smith Field, but there are proposals to purchase new turf for Smith Field and to change the color to match - the Snow Bears may not own the field, but they are one of its prime tenants, as the World Cup brings in far more capital to the NAAF than its entire domestic season combined provides.

The team should, regardless of the critics, at least have a fresh appearance and, with some new blood, perhaps even some revitalized vigor after last season's emotional letdown. As long as the team continues its winning ways, no one will be disappointed...but if they can achieve more?

Ha! You didn't think we here at RSSN were that naive did you? We'll qualify when elephants fly.

by **Forbidden Territories** » Thu May 05, 2022 2:37 am

FTS News Network

Ian: Hello everyone and welcome to FTS News Network, This is your host Ian, alongside two guests whom many of you would remember - Matt Ress, the coach of Forbidden Territories Football Team, and David Dreik, an esteemed football analyst who has appeared in the show many times in the past times when the League was going on.

Matt, and David walk onto the stage, waving to the camera as they approach the revolving chair around the main table. After they seat, the bacjground TV lits up to reveal the group Forbidden Territories are in , alongside the various fixtures of the matches, and the seeding of the opponents.

Ian: Well, this is quite the interesting group, I presume , let's start from the bottom to see the easier match ups. *Ian looks at the group table from the bottom and reads out the name* So the bottom most team and our easiest opponent is Forbidden Territories......

*silence*

David: This is not the worst group that we could have got, it's just the 2nd worst , so someone out there is having a tougher time with The Holy Empire and Vilita are in the Group 13, which is ironic considering 13 is known to be an unlucky number. So those teams in the group are going to have a tougher time.

Matt: I would look at the positive side. If we are at the rock bottom, the only way forward is to go up, everyone knows that we won't qualify for the World Cup in the first cycle. However we are here to improve and create a team that can within the next 3 - 4 cycles. A team that would leave its mark in history. Not every side has began as world - beaters. We would look to play some good football, and get experience from playing the better teams.

Ian: Speaking of better teams, we are playing Savojarna ,Turori and Flahov - Flavavae - Flaves - erm.. Flavovespia as our starting 3 matches before having a breather against New Folgore as an unranked nation. Turori , I beleive is the no.2 ranked nation in the world.

David: True, however you must not underestimate New Folgore, not much information is rekated to them, so while they might be unranked, they could win against us as the difference between 201 rank and an unranked team is minimal. Savojarna will be a very tough challenge as it is not only the first game of the WCQ for us , but also in away, so I expect us to have some rust while playing it.

Matt: It is tough start, but at the same time, it will help us get in shape as soon as possible, Our saving grace in the Turori match is that we are playing it at home in the Motorad Stadium in Calicut, thus earning us a lot of home support. We would playing somewhat aggressively amidst the support, hoping for a draw.

Ian: A draw is a very big thing to ask , especially for a team ranked 201 and a team ranked 2. Thats a 199 rank differencem and an aggressive gameplay does not bode well, I think you should park the bus and play full defence, holding the possesion of ball and back passing among yourselves

David: I disagree, that is a bad idea. It will only result in more pressure exerted by the Turori attackers. This perhaps could have worked in a group stage where they are under pressure to win every match, due to which they might make mistakes, however in this case, a no.2 ranked team should be more than enough confident to go through the finals. Besides that, a complete defence for 90 minutes is a much harder task than to play somewhat aggresively as well as counter attacking.

Matt: I reckon you are still under estimating my team' s prowess, remember what happened last time?

Ian : Yeah, yeah ok, I did underestimate the team against Cardenao. I for sure did not expect a 3 goal victory. That being said, I think you and me both know, Savojarna, Turori and Flovovespica are much superior to Cardenao.

David: Flavovespia.Fla- vo - vespia. Easy as that.

Matt: Well, yea but at the same time, you never know. Gadria and New Folgore are below us so assuming we win both the matches, we are at 12 points. Wreckeria, The 14 stars , and Metherwoll at below 100 ranking, so a draw is possible alongside a win, so 24 points, Turori at home so 1 more point, Savojarna and Flovovisca at home, so 6 points, a total of 31 points. That places us right at the top I beleive

David looked at Matt in disbeleif before saying "Flavovespia"

Ian: WAS THAT ALL THAT WAS WRONG WITH IT. There is no way we win this many matches, and even the proudest fan can not beleive this.

Matt: Well... This is the best case scenario I have assumed .

David : And yet we didn't wualify in it. If you look at the World Cup 89 qualification in which there was 10 team in each group just like this one, in order to qualify for playoffs, the average score for the team was 40, thats 9 points higher than yours.So infact, not "right at the top", more like in the middle

Ian: It seems the compeition is quite cutthroat, more than 3 losses meant certain exit from qualifying for the World Cup ; very little margin of error.

David: This method is selected for this reason, it rewards the most consistent performers with the ticket to the most prestigious cup in the history of multiverse. Of course there is a Cup Of Harmony in which nations that have failed to qualify for world cup, but showed fighting spirit are invited.

Matt: If we do well, and remain in the middle of the table, we might be invited for it. I beleive the CoH will offer us some valuable experience, as well good ranking points for a better pot. However, right now we have to think long term. We need to create a u21 squad immediately for future youth events. These will help us identify and groom these youngsters,

David: We already have a u19, and they are managed by Shirazui, the team is currently for a Footballing Tour in Somurias. I fail to see why a u21 team would be necessary

Matt: There is currently a Di Bradini Cup going on in which all u21 teams of the world are participating, if we could create one, we would be able to participate in it.

Ian: kinda like chewing more than you can bite? We already are in the WCQ, I don't think a last minute u21 team would be of much use, most of the teams participating in the Di Bradini have been training for years under rigorous routine. A haphazard mix of kids won't forbode well in such a tournament.

David: I agree, right now our focus should be in the first half of the event, preferably Savojarna, Turori, and Flavovespia *he smirks saying it*, oncethese games are over, then we must prepare for the Middle phase, Wreckeria, Metherwoll, and The 13 Stars. The game against Juvencus will be a good preparation for the finale of phase 1 against Starblaydia.

Ian: The 14 Stars , I beleive they participated in the IAC alongside us.

Matt: Yes, they went upto Round of 16 before succumbing to Squidroidia.

David: However, the experience gained outside WCC gets much lowered down due to Multiversal Effects, as a result the performance of a team in one event is not at all indicative of it in another event. So do not expect to beat them easily.

Ian: Well, there is a lot of ifs and buts and maybes in today's segment of show. A quarter final finish at BoF places us at the upper echelons of newer teams, but from now we won't be able to parcipate in it.

Matt: It is what it is, BoF is for new nations to give them an experience of world stage, amd world class facilities. It also gives them their initial rankings.

David: A semifinal finish would assure us of a sub 200 rank I beleive, a Victory at BoF would give us a position at Pot 8, which might have provided us a much easier draw.

Matt : Look, I did what I could, it was a bad day, thay's it, how do you explain it in any other way, approximately every single of our shots would have been in the back of the net had it been any other day. Maybe some divine intervention of Margaret alongside the brilliance of the goalie saved them.

Ian: Yes, I remember, it was probably one of the most painful matches witnessed by the fans. Much reports were said about tje post match aftermath where the fans were rioting in the streets of FTS. The government in order to save image quelled it using rubber bullets and prevented newspaper for publishing it for a day.

David : For a government that claims to be liberal, this is quite not the liberal thing to do.

Ian: Hey now, we don't wanna get cancelled now, do we? Of course since the government is paying bribes to WA Member Classification Website, we are still under democratic socialist tag, of course the reality is we are quite authoritarian.

David: Indeed. That being said, the minimum effort should be to get double digit points. As Ress said,it only goes up from here.

Matt: Yea, the points we earn will be crucial for the drawing of pots in the next world cup.

Ian: Well then, I beleive we have exceeded the show time. It seems our expectations are for a mid lower table finish. Anyways This is it for today's show, we will see you all tommorow at this exact time discussing about the Schiel Bombings and its aftereffects.

by **HUElavia** » Thu May 05, 2022 9:31 am

Start of a New Journey!

HUElavia enters the World Cup 91 Qualifiers with decent options to qualify in a fairly competitive group.

At last, HUElavia entered the World Cup Qualifiers with massive momentum. After winning IAC 15 in a penalty shootout over Drawkland, Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos finally got over the title that eluded them for nearly 30 years after making the Final back in IAC 8. There were massive celebrations all around HUElavia, with a giant parade and ceremony given to the Squad led by Quebec and Shingoryeo head coach, Leonardo Conavacio, for their success and the title. A few days after the ceremony, Leonardo Conavacio, sitting next to HFA President Rebecca Fonseca Nazário, announced his retirement from Coaching, citing he felt he took HUElavia as high as he could, he set up a new generation of HUElavian players to play for the team for the 22nd Century, and he wanted to enjoy his retirement traveling between Quebec & Shingoryeo and HUElavia (given he and his family were given HUElavian Citizenship due to the title). Players, Teams, and Fans came to Social Media to offer their thanks and appreciation for Conavacio for all the work he did for the team for over a decade, and for finally winning the IAC for them.

Days afterwards, it was announced that Cristiano Aveiro Lima, the all-time goal scorer for HUElavia and Real Curumba CF, would be the new Head Coach of HUElavia. With a style and leadership similar to Conavacio, it seemed like a perfect fit, where his U18 teams that he managed were high scoring teams that could give anyone a tough time. This was welcomed by the Press and Fans alike, who believed this to be a great fit and opportunity to bring up new faces to the National Team. Coach Aveiro was quoted saying "I'm grateful for the opportunity that President Fonseca and the HFA have given me, I look to build off the work that Conavacio left for me and I want to give it my all with these players to get to the World Cup and take the National Team back to the great heights we were at during our Golden Generation in the 2070s. I look forward to having the support of my players, staff and supporters through these qualifiers."

In the World Cup Qualifiers Draw, HUElavia (45) was drawn into Group 11 with the likes of Stresia (294), Kimi-Suomi (97), Al Qurija (116), Saltstead (58), Pemecutan (4), Raspotochje (218), Thibaea (310), Chromatika (26), Saterun (130), and Cabo Azure (72). The fact that there are 6 teams (including HUElavia), in the Top 100 of the rankings will make this a challenging group for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos. Coach Aveiro was quoted after the draw saying "It isn't the easiest of groups, but we are a Pot 3 team, so the expectations are for us to perform well and to give a fight for a possible qualificaiton to the World Cup. We've given big teams difficulty before, and I'm certain we can do the same once again. Nothing is impossible for our players."

After the draw, with collaboration between the HFA, State and City Governments, there was the announcement of venues that HUElavia would use throughout the Qualifiers at home. The venues are as follows: Estadio Capital (90,000) in Curumba, Estadio Internacional (82,500) in San Rafael, Stadt Breitzen Bank (75,000) in Lobach, HUGames Stadium (72,000) in Sega, Al-Rahid Stadium (60,000) in Hamar, Estadio da Esperança (60,000) in Rigente, Estadio Nativo (59,500) in Kuelap, Hangul Stadium (55,000) in Gyeongan, San Ignatius (52,000) in Itio, Estadio Sino (50,000) in Bagnano, and Arena da Selva (40,500) in Caranhaba will host matches. The venues in Lobach, Kuelap, Gyeongan, and Caranhaba will be Baptized by the National Team's first ever visit to those venues.

Thus, the Schedule for HUElavia will be as follows:

Matchday 1:
HUElavia vs Chromatika
Estadio Internacional, San Rafael

Matchday 2:
Saterun vs HUElavia

Matchday 3:
HUElavia vs Cabo Azore
Estadio da Esperança, Rigente

Matchday 4:
Stresia vs HUElavia

Matchday 5:
HUElavia vs Kimi-Suomi
Estadio Nativo, Kuelap

Matchday 6:
Al Qurija vs HUElavia

Matchday 8:
HUElavia vs Saltstead
Estadio Capital, Curumba

Matchday 9:
Permecutan vs HUElavia

Matchday 10:
HUElavia vs Raspotochje
Estadio Sino, Bagnano

Matchday 11:
Thibaea vs HUElavia

Matchday 12:
Chromatika vs HUElavia

Matchday 13:
HUElavia vs Saterun
San Ignatius, Itio

Matchday 14:
Cabo Azore vs HUElavia

Matchday 15:
HUElavia vs Stresia
Arena da Selva, Caranhaba

Matchday 16:
Kimi-Suomi vs HUElavia

Matchday 17:
HUElavia vs Al Qurija
Al-Rahid Stadium, Hamar

Matchday 19:
Saltstead vs HUElavia

Matchday 20:
HUElavia vs Permecutan
HUGames Stadium, Sega

Matchday 21:
Raspotochje vs HUElavia

Matchday 22:
HUElavia vs Thibaea
Hangul Stadium, Gyeongan

As is tradition, the HFA will allocate 15% of the capacity and tickets to visiting supporters to a section in the stadium, while the rest of the tickets will be sold to the general public. HUElavians are flocking online and at the stadium looking to purchase tickets in their city as they hope to bear witness to the IAC Champions in their latest run to the World Cup. One thing is for sure, this is a promising qualifiers for the team and anything can happen. Here's to hoping we have some great qualifiers and make it to the World Cup.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Squidroidia** » Thu May 05, 2022 3:26 pm

The Inkopolis Times

FRONT PAGE

TAKANORI DEAD

Liberator from the Squidroids, Leader of Squidroidia dies of heart attack

The entire nation of Squidroidia has entered a 2 week mourning period after Higa Takanori, the first Leader of Squidroidia, died suddenly of a heart attack just last night. The announcement, made via SBN News, was one that, while expected due to his declining health seemingly with every single meeting he was in, was still shocking to his most loyal supporters, often dubbed the Takanori Brigade, who placed a Squidroidian flag on the remains of his personal home, which were demolished due to the Apocalypse of 2017.

Growing up in Inkhalla, Squidroidia's predecessor, Takanori lived a troubled life with his Inkling parents at a young age. They would often discipline the child for the things he did at school or at the dinner table, and his life was marred by grounded streaks left and right. That only seemed to make Takanori a sort of military person, often joining Inkhalla Junior Army programs which, much to the smiles of his parents, he didn't outright fail in.

In his teenage years, attending the famed Squidbreak Academy in Inkopolis, ran by the Inkhallen Army, his tactical knowledge and overall military smarts earned him high praise by his teachers and other classmates - High honors in 2015 and 2016 for the entire school year were the highlights, and he even won a Inkhallen battle strategy contest in that latter year. The following year, however, with chaos plaguing the entire country, Takanori put his skills to good use, assembling a ragtag group of Squidbreak Academy members to beat the Squidroids in August of 2017, 5 months after the start of what was known as the Apocalypse. For his bravery, Takanori was named the first Leader of Squidroidia, the new nation that rose from Inkhalla.

Takanori's leadership of Squidroidia in the early years were that of a military dictatorship, as he put the armed forces at the forefront of society and banned people speaking out against him. Sports, apart from football, were only played by the Squidroidia Armed Forces, with the World Bowl and World Lacrosse Championships teams of old being made up of military members. Even then football didn't really become a hit sport until the days of World Cup 86, when Squidroidia first fielded a team. 3 cycles later, they would qualify for their first World Cup, but at that point Takanori's power declined. As he fell into alcoholism, Takanori lifted the oppressive laws that made his regime unique, and by the time of his death, with his drinking leading to a poorer heart, the nation was a democracy in all but name.

The future of Squidroidia, a Takanori-less Squidroidia, is unclear, with an announcement about the future of Squidroidian leadership expected to be heard at the end of the mourning period. Squidroidia's first World Cup 91 qualifier, against Audioslavia, will be played a couple days beforehand. It is expected that the Inklings, already marred by the arrival of the ambitious Wunderbar clan, will wear patches commemorating Takanori. A minute of silence between the teams hasn't been announced for the match, which will be played away from home in Anaian territory.

"I feel like we're missing Squidroidia without Takanori," said Squidroidian FA boss Fukuhara Himeko. "Having the only figure who ever rose to the top job in Squidroidia pass away hits hard. I think the nation will not be the same ever again." Some members of the Squidroidian national team share the same words as the FA chairwoman - Some louder than others. Nevertheless, Higa Takanori's legacy will be remembered within Squidroidia. The leader of a nation of squids and kids was just 27.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Thu May 05, 2022 5:17 pm

Jamie Rodgers' Squad Interviews - table of contents: .MD1/2. Rodgers, Bailey; .MD3/4. Winchester, Davies; .MD5/6. Newbridge, West; .MD7/8. Williams, Newcastle; .MD9/10. Pilchard, O'Donnell; .MD11/12. weMexala, Martin; .MD13/14. Batchelor only; .MD15/16. Wood, Roanoke; .MD17/18. Christopher, Brown; .MD19/20. Denby, Elliott; .MD21/22. Coombe, taFrexala --- .Bonus Playoff Interview. Sharp --- .Finals. Eldridge; Pazorzal; Tarrant --- .World Cup 92. Evans; Mitcham; Lucas; Parkinson

All other WC91 roleplay: Abraham Straw on Jessica Martin, Liam West doesn't have twii.tur, Saint Eleanor 5-5 Indusse (MD21) + The McDonald Report, Kandorith 3-2 Saint Eleanor (MD22), Juvencus 2-2 Saint Eleanor (playoff first leg), Saint Eleanor 2-1 Juvencus (playoff second leg), Saint Eleanor 0-1 Squidroidia (World Cup first group game), Saint Eleanor 4-2 Nyowani Kitara (World Cup second group game), the aftermath of Græntfjall 1-0 Saint Eleanor (World Cup third group game)

All WC92 roleplay will be linked at the top of the Priscilla Evans interview

OOC: In Saint Eleanor's calendar, qualification for World Cup 78 - Cassadaigua's first after coming out of retirement - took place in 1979 and early 1980. Publication schedule should either be wrapped up this cycle or at the start of the next one, depending on how far I get.

Jamie Rodgers: "I've been in love with football since I could walk"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers recounts a lifetime spent watching and reporting on football - and explains what SESB has in stock over the next eighteen months
Originally published on Thursday 7th January 1999

You wouldn't expect me to be the kind of person approaching forty, but I am. I was born to a diligent mum and a hard-working dad - at least I honestly think they were - in the summer of 1960 and first picked up a football about five years later. It changed my life.

I liked going to primary school over in Tannerton and studying, of course, but I think I relished the lunchtime break even more: a perfect opportunity for me to scoop down a couple of sausages and chips, head over to the nearest playing fields with my best mates, and do what we liked without even the teachers passing judgment. Passing, shooting, tackling cleanly, running with the ball for about eight seconds before giving up (it could hardly be called dribbling), generally having fun little games if we could get enough people to come across - those were the things we did. Nobody keeping score. No spectators to shout at us if we made any mistakes. Just a great thirty or forty minutes with whoever I fancied, however we fancied.

It carried on after school sometimes, but we all had homes to get to and things to be doing. As it just so happened, those playing fields belonged to Tannerton District Council, who naturally didn't seem to mind us playing there. What we know as the district's Community School today had their own fields, and so we kept on playing, having fun, developing new skills and building on old ones over on those ones, all the while being openly welcomed as happy students whose presence the PE Department definitely didn't mind. We were hardly worldbeaters, but we were never destined to be: as far as I was concerned, we were just lads and a couple of ladies having fun, and we were no longer alone.

There were bigger, better, happier friend groups around the corner and in other year groups, and they too liked football, sometimes so much that they even played as representatives in the old Schools Leagues. I told them that "I've been in love with football since I could walk" before convincing them to play against my friends sometimes. But now, people were watching, thinking, unimpressed - and yes, they finally had a sense of how leaky our defence was; a few thought that what I said applied to them more. Point well taken, I should have thought to myself but never did. I continued to challenge, continued to taunt, continued to compete, continued to fail, continued to challenge.

You might be reading this thinking that we still had homes and I was still a foolish sod. For the most part, we didn't. The War of Independence started in March of 1974, with George Mitcham angry at the state of public services while camped out on the western edge of the nation. It was a slow and steady venture, but by the time the fighting came here in the summer, so too did the destruction - fifty square miles of once fairly thriving city reduced, almost to rubble, by Tinhamptonian forces, even in the air when our forces proved to be more resilient than they thought. Tannerton and the rest of the central city were quite possibly the worst-hit areas, although once the docks in Trident and Wellington - which had also taken a hammering - got secured and rebuilt by the National Liberation Front the following May, the rest of the nation was similarly and swiftly restored.

The war and Eleanorian independence changed my opinions about football, of all things, too. I was never going to cut it either way, I always forgot to wear proper football boots and I couldn't hope to be as fit as the lads who took our country back; best just to sit back, enjoy the action, take a slaniton of notes and hope that people would like that instead. My first chance came when schools returned - albeit in grotesque makeshift cabins - a few weeks after 23rd June 1975, Eleanorian Liberation Day, where I was asked to cover an informal year group friendly between Tannerton and "those dirty posh bastards down the road," the Eleanorian Academy, now proudly under government control. My year group. Year 11. I'd have scraped into the third or fourth team if you had to mould those lineups out of magic football clay.

Naturally, we lost 2-0. Of course, I was watching, thinking, and somehow impressed. I was also writing: who was playing? (I had to ask a few of the Academy players their names.) What were they doing? (Scoring either side of halftime, avoiding all but a couple of ridiculous mistakes; Tannerton couldn't find the goal for toffee but had a couple of good spells of possession.) How did they do it? (Good strategy, good organisation, brilliant teamwork, my lot broken down easily but lacking a bit in the final third - at least I thought they were.) Why does this matter? (It was a good advertisement for schools football and hopefully we could get the Leagues back up and running soon; after all, there was going to be a tiny one-legged pilot senior league in the autumn.)

Roll on the following morning, after a long night's worth of crunching out the right words for the right people, and my article was featured right there on page 61 of The Reporter, then as now the nation's biggest newspaper. A few more of these over the years, more often left alone than published, and all of a sudden we get to December 10th 1978 - the day I got a phone call from Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting asking if I'd like to join as one of their football correspondents. Of course, I say yes and then I pay a couple of dollars to get on the newly-inaugurated Metro train to Central district, home of Broadcasting House and everyone else worth working for. The first thing I know, I bump into Dominic Gates - the head honcho of the Football department, the only one anyone at SESB Sport cared about - and Kevin Shea, a more experienced but still fairly junior reporter.

Many people helped me out, but Dom and Kev (as we always called them) gave me my head starts. Dom was my mentor on strategy, educating me on how to properly phrase things, do a bit of proper analysis that wasn't just picking good moments out of a hat, and generally get a good story out - all for the people, of course. Kev was the guy with his boots on the ground (over the course of a season, probably all of them) and he was the one who'd take me to games when he was off duty, tell me more about what was important and why, then drag me back to head office and seriously push the abbreviation skills I'd picked up myself in '75. When I started on live commentary in the early 1980s, he was always there to help me out too.

Three season-enders, each split by a few years, stand out for me in particular. The first was the first game I attended on my own, the third-to-last game of the 1979 season, Army and Navy's trip to Albion Road to play Grand Beach. Separated from their next opponents Athletic Saint Eleanor by a point and with the only good Occidental Olympic team of the pre-Manuta era on the final day, anything other than a win would effectively destroy their title challenge. Neither side truly bothers, in scenes reminscent of Ko-oren's recent 0-0 draw with Kandorith without the alleged matchfixing. I barely push out a half-sentence synopsis - those being the days when SESB did radio and television only - before deciding that moonlighting for The Reporter to write about some promising young Cassadagan called Hannah Ranucci would be a good idea. Naturally, the Soldiers slip away; the Reds from Whitehammer are victorious.

The second, and perhaps most pivotal, incident ironically involved the last of the great Army and Navy teams in 1985, hosting defending champions Independence 1975 in yet another top-of-the-table battle. Indy lose 2-1, but their very own Gary Walter crunches into opposition captain Samuel Brunting towards the end, earning himself a red card and Brunting the rest of the season off - then starting enough fights to spark an epic melee that leads to five red cards, a pitch invasion that had to be dispersed and an unprecedented seventeen minutes of injury time. Why? After some chasing down, SESB sends him an urgent rendezvous to our headquarters before the next round, where he gets caught on camera arguing that his actions were "for the good of the team," that "you come to this club to win" and most infamously that "I don't see how anything I did was meant to be controversial." Walter is humiliated in front of 100,000 Eleanorians on TV2, never plays again and is replaced in 1986 by Liam West, a fairly competent defender plucked straight out of community school into the first team who many believe would struggle.

Third was the end of 1992, with Athletic (visiting Nova Aegis) needing a win by two more goals than Sword and Shield (hosting a much-improved Grand Beach) - or just a better result - to pull through and end a six-year title drought. I was doing the rounds live at the University Grounds, where - of course - nothing much was happening. All is calm for half an hour after the Collegiates stick themselves into a nice 2-0 lead - even in the commentary box - and then I say "we have news of a goal at the Coliseum, here's Sarah Camberwell with more." Then Sarah decides to scream the house down after 88 minutes telling anybody who'd listen that Athletic skipper Luke Gregory had given his team a ridiculously decisive four-goal cushion! Like Army and Navy in 1979, Sword and Shield don't have to wait long to win the much-coveted title; unlike the Soldiers, sufficiently blessed to log multiple podium finishes in a row after that, it comes at great cost.

Some things are still the same: Kev (and Sarah) still work the microphone for SESB today, Tannerton Community School is still around, the Eleanorian Academy's still run by the government, the government is still run by the National Liberation Front, my chums still like to have a little kickabout or two when they have time - and I still don't join in unless I absolutely have to. But there are some differences, too. Public transport has been free of charge since the summer of 1983. There is no Schools League of any description, and hasn't been for twenty years; instead, the Charles Trump Shield separates the wheat from the chaff at a strictly under-18 level. And nearly seventeen years after I signed onto SESB, Dom stood down in an effort to reduce his workload, if not retire outright, and we all missed him. The moment I found out, I asked Kev if he wanted to take over the job and he said no, I'd be much better suited. Everybody he asked agreed - and here I am now.

Of course, just as Dom left, we got a national team: 81st in the world (and, if you believe the right people, rapidly improving), managed by a former Cup of Harmony winner, assisted by the President's eldest son, captained by West himself and filled with two dozen players who'd outmatch any of the people I went to school with even on a bad day. But who are they, really? Throughout the qualification stage, as well as during the summer of 2000 - as the 91st World Cup cycle climaxes - SESB will naturally continue to cover every game online, on television and radio.

But on top of that, I'll be reporting on everyone in the Eleanorian camp, no matter how big, small or little-known, as they seek to finally make their names in the world of international football - in the same unapologetically inquisitorial spirit with which I pressed Walter so vigorously in 1985. I'll be going in and asking the squad what makes them tick and why, how they're feeling, what they're doing, where they came from and where they see themselves. Because more than football itself, I love Saint Eleanor and its people - quiet, industrious and unassuming to the last, even when they aren't.

by **Saterun** » Thu May 05, 2022 5:36 pm

The Promised Land: A Journey Through Saterun Football
By Kalvin Hsemer

Introduction

I vividly remember my first football match. I was 9, and my dad had got off work early. Our local side, Racing Club Everbrare, had a match that day. The stadium could fit 3,000 and the tickets were §10 each. But it was magical. All the senses of a proper football ground were there. The sights, smells, and sounds. RCE had a good game, scoring twice to win. As we left the ground, my dad made a quick stop. He went over to a kiosk and bought a replica kit. He handed it to me, and I was hooked.

I went to a lot of Everbrare games after that. When we moved to Ias, I started supporting Ias Club Football. By that time, Saterun as a whole had really caught on to the sport. Every once in a while, you'd see kids with Di Bradini kits or Starblaydian scarves. The top international teams had fanbases in a country they had never heard of. This was partly due to the lack of Saterun's own national team. The first international football match was played by Saterun Women's, in the Jenna Raven Cup I. The SFF had decided to let the women represent the country first on the international stage, as the men's game was more domestically focused. It was the best decision they had ever made.

I'm not going to synopsis the entire thing, but Saterun barely made it out of the group. They then defeated the top Play-In round team. Up next were Eshialand, the top team after the group stage. Saterun and Eshialand were actually in the same group. Over two games, the combined score was 7-2 in Eshialand's favor. Saterun came on and gave them a beating. A 5-1 victory in the quarterfinals. But it didn't stop there. They beat the hosts, Sarzonia, 3-1 in the semis. The only game left was the final. Unfortunately, they lost in a heart-breaking penalty shoot-out. But they had left their mark. Saterun was forever into the world's game.

Since then, they have competed in a few tournaments, most recently WCQ 90, IAC 14, and CoH 82. They didn't experience resounding success in any of those, but are back with as new team, manager, and philosophy. Abbas Yousafali made much more extensive and detailed squad selections than Martin Freeberg, but Saterun's first coach will always be remembered. A particularly good showcase of how much Saterun had changed by IAC 15 was their defeat of the reigning champions, Adab. Hopefully, that is only the beginning of what is to come this cycle.

This book will be devided into 4 parts: Pre-A Liga, A Liga, La Taça, and International Football. Each will explore a different aspect of Saterun football. The Pre-A Liga section will focus on those Racing Club Everbrare days. The amateur football that started off in this country. There's definitely something special about it. The A Liga section will focus on Saterun top domestic league. How it formed, who's in it, and where it will go. As of the time of writing, the domestic league hasn't run for very long, and so this section will probably be short. Not unlike Ias Club Football's cup runs. La Taça will focus on the city football. In Saterun, each of the main cities has its own amateur football tournament. The best amateur teams from the city compete in a month-long league and knockout. It lets people have connections not only to their city but even their neighborhood. And, finally, International Football. Saterun's international spell had been brief, but this section will try to go into detail. Each section will be divided into 5-10 parts.

I want to end this section (and begin this book) by briefly saying what football means to me. I think that it is an uniting force, one that drives people to bond with each other. It connects you with people you've never met. I hope this book can show that in its entirety.

One more thing. LET'S GO CLAWS!!!

Table of Contents:
Introduction
Pre-A Liga
A Liga
La Taça
International Football
Epilogue

by **Jeruselem** » Fri May 06, 2022 10:41 am

Princess Kate for Naked News Jeruselem!

Hello, this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas, or just Princess Kate, for Naked News Jeruselem!
Yeah, I'm back! And this means one thing, it's World Cup time.
The football is back baby! That may annoy some people but I don't care if they are annoyed.
World Cup 91 is here and Naked News Jeruselem is here to cover the event.
The draw for this event has been done and we got placed in Group 4.

Unfortunately, this time round we have a group full of names which are really hard to spell.
The Commonwealth of Baker Park join us in Group 4, as does another familiar name Trolleborg.
Of course, those two teams will be our greatest rivals but there are another 8 teams who also have dreams of qualifying for the cup as well.
We actually don't know a lot about them, and I'm not even sure we've played these teams before!

There's Acastanha, apparently a puppet state of Pemecutan. We got no idea about Pemecutan either.
We got Gortolekua. who were in the Baptism of Fire 78. So they are a new entrant in the World Cup.
Next up is Britonisea, apparently busy with other sports and even the WorldVision Song Contest. I guess they are good at something hey.
There's Potenzia, another newcomer who was in the Baptism of Fire 78. So we can't report much about them other than that.
So we have TotoMishin, who just happens to be another team in the Baptism of Fire 78. A lot of new teams here.
Ranoria is here. They are active in World Bowl and NationStates College Football so I guess they are moving into the football realm as well.
And there's Tekatus who is apparently a team of robots but I can't verify that. Another team who played in Baptism of Fire 78.
Hey and finally Pyazhnaya, who are a puppet state of Tikariot.

I guess this will be an interesting group as we don't know much about all the teams other than Baker Park and Trolleborg.
A lot of these teams came through the Baptism of Fire 78 so they will be actually relative newcomers.

There's been a few changes, from the last cup.
Pekora Dancer retired from her position and her replacement is ... Kate Dallas. Not me, there's a lot of Kates in my family anyway. She's no stranger to the cup, she played in 4 teams.
Aidra Nene has moved on her own ... social network of depravity, so we have a replacement for her here at Naked News Jeruselem. It's Aaliyah Lust, yes ... another former adult star.
Don't worry, she's good looking and younger than me, not that I'm young. That ageing business sucks, especially for women.
She's not that bright but we can't be all intelligent.

Um, that's it from me now.
We'll be talking to Kate ... the other Kate about taking over as manager of the Jeruselem World Cup team.
Hopefully, she can finally get us to the Holy Grail of football.
We've qualifed for the last few cups so we're making some progress ... so you all later!

by **Trolleborg** » Fri May 06, 2022 12:42 pm

For Vidar Sodershelm this day marked a very long journey – maybe even third chapter of the life. Looking back, he wondered how his life had changed almost beyond recognition in the past eight years that the Trolleborg national football team existed. This is true say, he always loved football, rarely missed matches of club of his hometown. As often was in habit of Trolleborg fans, he went to important away games, and, like many, rooted for one of the country's major clubs, attending his matches every two years or so. But since the third team – precisely national football team – appeared in his life everything has changed. First of all, the way of life, and with it mode of work, and in the second, although it is not immediately noticeable, the approach to life. Traveling with the team across the multiverse from ice deserts and deep caves to tropical jungles and swamps and even other planets, apparently, leaves its mark and Vidar he himself did not immediately notice when his social status had changed significantly. It was now believed in his neighborhood that a man who had seen so much undoubtedly deserved to be asked his opinion on various issues and to listen to him more closely. But right now Vidar expected that next year he would have no time to answer questions and tell something to someone, because he set out to do what less than a hundred of the many billions of Trolleborg residents have so far managed – he was decide to make “golden round”, i.e. attend all the away matches of the team in the qualifiers for the 91th World Cup, and he chose one of the longest such tournaments in the history of our team. Not everyone of the fans have a stomach to put everything bar football from his life for a year.

So that this morning, if he met any signs, then undoubtedly they would promise him a long road with adventures. But if the signs were real, Vidar I would hardly have noticed them, because he overslept and got ready in a hurry. His hometown, where he lived comfortably for twenty-eight years before the country “opened up to the world”, was still sleeping, and on the way to the bus stop he did not meet anyone, but this is perhaps for the best - etiquette obliges send at least a couple of words to every good friends, and he counted as such almost two out of every three people in that town. And so he successfully got to the bus even without much haste, he would have had time to drink coffee if he had not decided in advance that he should somehow punish himself for getting up late.

Then everything was as usual during trips following the national team at the first stage - half an hour by bus to the regional center and then a quick transfer to a high-speed train, another hour in a comfortable cabin and here it is, the pride and beauty of the country, Trolleborg International Airport. Millions of people in the country make such routes and much more difficult often and without hesitation, led by caring computers, at other times, before they start their travels, and Vidar and would not pay attention to all the conveniences provided to him along the way usually, but now he has seen how people live in other countries and therefore looks at things differently.

After all, it is not known how the fates are distributed, and suddenly, if those who are responsible for this make another decision, instead of a happy and comfortable life in a powerful and rich country, he could have fallen a much less enviable lot - he has already seen such places, wandering after the team that you don't want to remember.

And all around the crowd was already in full swing, which characterizes the country's airport - very intense, but extremely ordered, since computer laid out for everyone the route which is convenient for his expressed wishes, and there is enough space and amenities for the rest.

Since the country decided to take a closer look at what the big and incomprehensible world around it promises, the airport, the hub of all transportation in the country, has added many flights outside the country to its impressive coverage of the route network, connecting many countries and regions at all ends of the world, and also invited almost every store, restaurant and business of note in general, everyone placing at least some of its advertising in the global space. And what you will not see and meet as a result in a huge terminal! However, yes, there are such things: you won’t see or meet check-in counters with indispensable queues for them, scandals and noise due to luggage weight limits, or passport control. And this Vidar also began to appreciate it very much after several trips to foreign countries.

But despite all the richness of the routes and the opportunities provided by this, fans would have had a hard time in this WCQ, if not the practice of the football federation to rent planes for their delivery. Gortolekua, where the team played its first match, is located in one of the rather remote regions and there was no connections with the Pacific, and here the whole flotilla of Trolleborg Wings aircraft was very helpful, involved in the good cause of providing support to the national team in the most remote ends of the world.

So it’s not surprising that more and more people were characteristically dressed and equipped closer to the gate - even those who were not directly labeled as a fan with a scarf, pipe, T-shirt, hat, were given out compact bags that have often become popular among fans, since all the necessary can be neatly placed for a couple of days of trip to distant lands.

One of the planes that football federation's chartered for the delivery of fans was already waiting for its passengers, who, although one might expect otherwise, sedately settled into their seats and delved into the study of their tourist guidebooks – according to an unwritten tradition, travel time is devoted to finding information about what to do and what not to do in the country where we are flying, and the ardor for fanship should be saved for the moment of completion of the journey.

by **Juvencus** » Sat May 07, 2022 6:18 am

The Second Great War of Unification(1876-1892)

The nationstates of modern-day Juvencus always had a strong naval history, from navigating the rivers of Juvencus to trading with fellow Revoda Sea nations and exploring the deepest reaches of Sonnel, to even discovering multiple portals to the multiverse, giving them the chance to colonise corners of places far, far away. To the seemingly "isolated" states of the time, controlling the seas was even more important than controlling the land, if it meant that it would allow them to consolidate their power on it. The Second Great War of Unification did feature multiple naval battles that would change the tide of the war, most of which were fought in close proximity to some of the most important centers of the Confederation.

Chapter 9: Battle of Fort Paurosse(April 27th, 1879)
"To miss home in the place you feel safest is an emotion that no man should feel, no matter how vile they might be." Fort Paurosse defender Guglielmo Garfadi, written ~circa 1879 after the battle

Fort Paurosse was a Domenican fort in the westernmost reaches of the Principality, mostly used to ensure Domenican sovereignty of the nearby trading outposts of Paurosse and Ioleta that Scudelli had been preying on for at least 200 years at that point but had failed to capture. It would also be an important point to impose Domenican trading taxes upon entry to the nation.

The Domenicans did expect a Scudelliano attack at any point during the war, as such Fort Paurosse was not only reinforced with the latest artillery but was also given a larger fleet to work with and guard the surrounding area. Scudellianos on the other also anticipated stronger resistance than usual on the Domenican side and initially planned a mostly land attack to Paurose and Ioleta, however upon realising the cost of human life and perhaps the creation of extensive trenchlines, much like the western front of the war, Prince Carlo IV of Scudelli opted against did, as did most of his generals. On the plus side, capturing Fort Paurosse fast would force a retreat on the part of the Domenicans and taking over Paurosse and Ioleta would much easier.

Around 11:45 local hours, the first Scudelliano cruisers and auxilliary cruisers would enter the waters around Fort Paurosse. Several monitors and gunboats would join in right after, all in formation to surround the fort. The Domenican defense was not to be underestimated however, with multiple of their cruisers and coastal defence battleships also in formation to deter any attacks. At 12:05 local hours, the first gunshots were heard. The naval battle had commenced, it was a messy encounter and ship after ship from both sides was getting not only damaged severely, but also sunk. 4 Scudelliano ships and 2 Domenican were sunk at the first stage of the battle. A return to the original formations was ordered by both sides.

A new stage of the battle commenced, with direct Scudelliano fire at the fort at 16:30 local hours. Domenican retaliation soon followed with artillery fire from the fort, as well as a counterattack from the coastal defence of Santo Domenico soon after. This strongly damaged and affected most Scudelliano ships and a retreat was issued. The defence of this position was pivotal for the Domenicans as it proved to them that the Scudelliano Navy was not invincible and that the safety of the coastal areas around Santo Domenico was plausible. However a counter-offensive was far from being even a thought for them, as they had also received heavy losses and costly damages.

Battle Outcome: Domenican costly victory, morale increased. Scudelli remains powerful, however and the Eastern Theater shapes up even more.

by **Chartistan** » Sat May 07, 2022 6:39 am

THE BILLBOARD GAZETTE

AIR IT OUT

Heading into World Cup 91 Qualifiers, Slimy Weebs Gone is the most controversial player on Combbrush's team

The number 18 shirt of Chartistan was one that, at least last cycle, represented greatness coming out of what seemed like solitary moments. In Cup of Harmony 81, Young Brandonson wore that number and sat as the immediate backup striker to Kimi Yamjune, team captain and the love of teenage stans throughout the nation. The rest, as they said, was history - He was called up after Adult Royce quit the sport in the middle of their first group game and bagged several goals for himself and his team, guiding them to the Cup of Harmony Semi-Finals. His immediate replacement in the #18 shirt, Maya LeBert, didn't pan out so well in World Cup 90 qualifying. Alex Silo, the number 18 for Chartistan in Cup of Harmony 81? Not even a minute.

The new number 18 for the national team, however, comes with a little bit of baggage to his name. No, a LOT of baggage. Growing up in the shady sides of Billboard, Slimy Weebs Gone is perhaps the most controversial player ever selected to the Chartistan squad, having caused a storm within the community even when he was selected to the Eagle's Cup squad not long back, within the Bubbling Under portion of the team - The first bench players in the squad. His 2nd selection to the team has been met with more backlash than even the first, as Doctor Lucas deals with a player that has his own shady past too.

"First of all, the name. Slimy Weebs Gone. I'm not talking about why a parent would name their son Slimy Weebs Gone, I mean that name seems like someone who has a deep rooted hatred for the anime community", one Billboard resident, who will remain anonymous, said to the Gazette. "Does he even know what anime is? Serious question. His parents probably named him that for their dislike to the anime community." The person goes on to quote some of the things he said to the team during the Eagle's Cup, including how then-captain John Harry kept on mentioning his name in social media posts, saying "What the f--k are you doing Harry? This s--t ain't hard to tell man" and saying to his friend Exnash "Hold on, hold on, stop the whip guy, you gonna get a chopstick and you're gonna be left open".

Doctor Lucas Combbrush, manager of the Chartistani national team, is a defender when it comes to Slimy Weebs Gone and his attitude. "I don't decide the team on my own, the charts do. And when the charts say hey, this Slimy Weebs Gone fella deserves a place as backup striker behind [Holly] Smier, I have to roll with it, you know? If I had my way, he wouldn't be in the squad, but I can't have my way all the time. Besides, he's fighting with [Lillian] Kurate and [Elsa] Maren for that spot, both of them can play the striker role well and I think one of the 3, Kurate, Maren or SWG can end up on the starting lineup for the Cup of Harmony or even the World Cup proper."

As for Slimy Weebs Gone himself, he seems to be aware of the stigma that comes with his name. "I say a lot of stuff about killing people and the opps and all that crap, why didn't you say the same for Young Brandonson when he ended up scoring a bunch of goals for Chartistan? He did the same stuff as me and didn't have as much of a flak when he ended up in that squad, probably because of his fanbase or something. I'm just a guy who blew up on social media ONCE, got 4 bars on Twit.tur to go viral and stuff, I'm on the team for the 2nd time, and then I get a bunch of hate for what I did? There's a double standard going on with this fanbase, because with this I swear I'm the most hated person in Billboard, and 2nd in Chartistan only to Alex Liverton in Official City. It's messed up."

Nevertheless, Chartistan's hopes of qualifying for the World Cup are nonexistent with the group they were placed in. While the team's first game, away to Star United States, is expected to be an easy game for Combbrush's side, Chartistan's toughest opposition? A pair of 5 time champions in Vilita and defending champions The Holy Empire. And that isn't mentioning Astograth, Geektopia and Garifunya in a group where only first advances automatically and 2nd and third have to go through the playoffs. "I'm just expecting this team to be competitive. This is not the cycle where we qualify for the World Cup, the closest we will get is the playoffs and nothing more", said Doctor Lucas Combbrush. "We could be good for the Cup of Harmony, but given our result last goaround, I'm not so sure. If we get a point out of Vilita or THE we'll be proud."

To quote Slimy Weebs Gone, "This where the shooters be."

by **Pemecutan** » Sat May 07, 2022 7:45 am

Saniscara Pon Wuku Gumbreg, Pawukon 1783

Exclusive Interview
with
Surya Agung Pramana

Turori - This interview is exclusively performed from Turori where the Pemecutan team is currently still competing for the third place play off of the Eagle's Cup. The interview is guided by Satya Wiradarma

Satya Wiradarma (SW)
Good afternoon, Mr. Pramana. How do you do?

Surya Agung Pramana (SAP)
Hello. Afternoon. I'm very good.
(He end the greet with a smile)

So, World Cup final and now Eagle's Cup semifinal.
(Wiradarma commenting)

Don't forget another failure in MAC
(Both of them laughing)

That's still a mystery for all of us.

That's true. But at least we're still in the Semifinal. Another third place.

True. But Mr. Suryanatha took the trophy for Eraman.

(Pramana laugh again)
He deserve it.
(Wiradarma see him with a questioning look)
Suryanatha is my senior. He has teach me a lot of things to manage the team. And in my personal view, he is the one who opened our chance in World Cup. He is the first manager who make us qualified for the first time. And I'm here just continuing the legacy. We have our peak performance in MAC also under him. 6th and 7th.

The time when we were ended as runner up.
(Pramana nodded)
But which one do you think is more difficult? Becoming the opening way for the next generation or to maintain the legacy?

(Pramana sighing
That's a tough question. (Pramana laugh)
To be honest, both positions have their own difficulties. To be able to become the opener. The settling. You have to work hard to prepare for your boys so they are at that position. At that level. And that's what I'm seeing from Suryanatha. He pushed the boys to be better. He set the training rule for each one of them. He settled their issues. And it's fruited. We scored qualification.

And to maintain that?
(Wiradarma interrupt)

Maintaining the legacy is harder. I luckily happened to set our team better than my predecessor. But then this position that I reached is too high that if my next achievement is lower than that then people will see it as a failure. The pressure to always maintain a great performance and able to reached certain level is what makes maintaining their performance is a hard job.

(Wiradarma nodded lightly)
But now we are invited to Eagle's Cup for the first time. What do you see from this invitation? And how do you see our team there?

I'm seeing this as an opportunity for us. An opportunity to be able to play with the best of the best teams in the whole multiverse. Regional champions are all here. The timing is also something that I like from this event.

How's so?
(Wiradarma seems confused)

Well, at first I'm not thinking it that way because the World Cup schedule is not set yet. But as the time goes, with the setting of World Cup schedule then I'm seeing this Eagle's Cup as our preparation. So we're not doing friendly matches but we did Eagle's Cup.

But then we have one match left and it is only 3 days away from the first World Cup match. How do you see this?

(Pramana laugh again)
Yeah, that's a tricky schedule. Luckily we'll be playing at home for our first match. And I will ask all of the boys getting some rest before the big match. So from here, we'll be fly directly to Mengwi where the match will be.

But we have a bad record at the opening match. Only 1 win from 5 performances.

Hopefully we can do better this time. We can't see the whole competition from the first match. Although I can understand that the first match is crucial for the team mental. But what I'm seeing from my boys is they are ready to stand up after they fall.

Hopefully we're not fall deep this time. And another qualifying spot?

That's my hope. And everybody's hope I guess. We can't get away with that hope after 2 consecutive editions.
(Both of them laugh again)

Yeah. We are all hoping for that. So thank you Mr. Pramana for your time and good luck for you and the team.

Thanks for having me. And yeah we need those luck.
(Both of them laugh again)

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