World Cup 99 - RP Thread

[Visayas Islands]

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BULLS BARELY KEEPING UP WITH CALGASIA, BUT WON OVER PYAZHNAYA AT HOME
Melperk, Calgasia and Iloilo City, Metropolitan District

Before their home game against Pyazhnaya, the Bulls went off to Calgasia and arrived at Melperk to face the Calgasians. Even the LBDT boys who can bring out the fun also come here to cheer on the boys in light and dark blue. First half was a crucial one as the Calgasian defender faces off Marasigan in a one-on-one battle when Marasigan won the ball, it was up to the goalscorer Viray to score the first goal of the match. But the Calgasians responded theirs in the 38th minute all thanks to the mistakes of Zaldarriaga and went on to get subbed off by Baconawa. And so it begins on the 2nd half, where the Calgasians never stood a chance against the Bulls where Viray, again, scored another goal for the Visayan boys. It was going well for the Bulls until a foul from Robles gave the Calgasians a penalty and scored. But it was a great game to watch for the Bulls even if it's a draw, 2-2. "Well, it did kinda go well for the boys.", says Ayala. "Even though someone made mistakes, we assure that we could keep up with the nations that are highly ranked than us." "Well, it was an exhausting game for us.", says Viray. "Fortunately, just scored two goals. So a great success, I guess?" Then after a draw in Calgasia, the boys went back to Iloilo to have some business against Pyazhnaya and Ayala secretly devised a plan to win over the Pyazhnayans. In the first half, the Visayan defense was looking sharp after the mistake on the 2nd half against Calgasia. The boys went on to score a goal all thanks to Villariño's own free kick goal that send the crowd into a frenzy avalanche. But the Pyazhnayans have responded with a solo goal from their player, and another and another, making it 1-3. It was looking well for the Pyazhnayans until Descartin, Arnaiz, and Benito Jr. came into the field and gave the Visayans a victory against Pyazhnaya with goals from Banaag, Viray, and the captain Pascual. It was a well-deserved victory for the boys in light and dark blue and the fans loved it. "Well, it was great to see the boys win.", says Ayala. "Judging by their performance, I think there are some improvements for this game and next match, we hope to improve more in two games." The Bulls will have to face both Loyo away and Gopnikea at Jordan in the Metropolitan District. Will they overcome the odds and qualify for the World Cup?

[TJUN-ia]

The Random Rambles of a Jaguar - WC99 Qualifying Edition
with Killian Looker

Welcome back to this Random Ramble, WC99 Qualifying Edition! In terms of starts, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia certainly had a good one thus far - two wins from two, +7 GD and only 2 goals conceded. So far, so good...but everyone, including David Seems and Li Xiu Ying, knew that tougher tests were on the horizon. Everyone knew that from this point on, things would get all the more scrappy...but the mission remained the same. Top 3. Just stay in that top 3, come hell or high water.

The Games
The Tsear Tsuperdome was up first as we took on the unbeaten Saterun on the road as our Jaguars faced up to the Claws and in what turned out to be in some style. We knew that the #56 was going to pose some problems for us but when push came to shove, we seemed to deal with those Claws pretty alright. Diana Sharafutdinov managed a first-half brace, to which Maksymillian Bates kept us in check in the 45th, Bates got his 2nd in the 56th but that would then see Stephan Fiedtkou and Zaine Bowry get involved on the scoresheet to secure the points and a 4-2 win.

Then it was back home for the biggest game thus far - the #51 Corsairs of Sargossa at the infamous Beregozera Stadium in Szensky. This atmosphere was absolutely raucous as the local fans clearly wanted wanton death and destruction...but in the first half, it was us getting destroyed as Adrian Rodríguez and Pablo Alarcón made it 0-2 in 20 minutes. Things were certainly not looking good for a while but in the second half, things got turned on their head in the space of 5 minutes as Diana Sharafutdinov and Maryam Doutsi made it 2-2 in the speed of a train ride around this city. The remainder of the 2nd half was chaotic as all hell, with the crowd on our side and throwing pressure on our shoulders, but a 2-2 draw would have to do. Dropping points isn't fun, but still, it could be worse!

Reaction
10 points from a possible 12, not too shabby at all. Things are looking good so far, from the perspective of the fans, but only time will tell if we can keep this us long term.

What's Next?
A tale of two games is coming up next, between two opponents on opposite sides of the ranking scale. We must first head over to Notcommunist3 (yes, that is their name) for a game before we head back to our home in the National Stadium for the impending arrival of the Pot 1 team of this group - #17 Pasarga.

GAME ON!
GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group 12)
(Stadium Guide can be found here)
MD1: @Sharktail (180) W 5-1 (1st)
MD2: vs New Crywyzyxycynya (143) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 4-1 (1st)
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD3: @Saterun (56) - Tsear Tsuperdome, Tsear(?) W 4-2 (1st)
MD4: vs Sargossa (51) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 2-2 (1st)
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD5: @Notcommunist3 (UR)
MD6: vs Pasarga (17) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD7: @Cobrio (114) - Tukari Kaita National Stadium, Camaron
MD8: vs Legalese (76) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD9: @American Generations (283)
MD10: vs Sharktail (180) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD11: @New Crywyzyxycynya (143)
MD12: vs Saterun (56) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD13: @Sargossa (51)
MD14: vs Notcommunist3 (UR) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town/Portuaria
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD15: @Pasarga (17) - Stade de Torgos, Torgos
MD16: vs Cobrio (114) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
--------------------------------Rambles--------------------------------
MD17: @Legalese (76) - National Stadium, Central Junction
MD18: vs American Generations (283) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat

[Ralsalin]

The retirement of Wilhelm Meine from the international football was a serious blow to the Knights of the Eternal November. The solid left-back who had an enormous international experience and cemented the left flank of the defence in many matches was a significant part of the team. Without him, the cracks started to appear. And the first bell rang already in the first matchday, as Ralsalin lost 0-1 to the Reçueçn national team. Reçueçn is ranked 50th, much higher than Ralsalin, and on the first glance, the 0-1 defeat is definitely not the bad result. But the problem is that the entire Reçueçn squad, that secured this 50th place in the international ranking, went on a strike, and Ralsalin's first opponent in the World Cup Qualification was represented by the entirely new squad of players who have a little professional experience. We could probably say, that this important detail actually equalized chances of the both teams and gave Ralsaliens a cause to hope for a decent result. But in reality, The Kinghts who already played dozens of international matches, still suffered a defeat, although it is only 0-1. This only goal from 19-year old Alois Kohlhase (who is only a year older then Kasyan Menon) arrived after a mistake from the left-back Makar Rantika. The same thing occured in the match against Katzeburg. Ralsalin was defeated 1-2 and the second conceded goal was scored by Kester Fuchs, who, again, used a mistake of out-of-position left back Prokhar Hadka.

In the first two matches, Ralsalin's left flank was a total disaster. The mood of the fans just make all things worse. According to a poll from Ritsport.rl, the overwhelming majority of Ralsaliens think that no one could replace Meine.

Don't pay attention that this poll has 102% of votes. It's Ralsalin. Nothing works here properly.

It seemed like this World Cup Qualification cycle would be a tough one for The Knights, as they had a worse start than a cycle ago when they were an unranked team. But despite the left-back problem and a poor start to the campaign, some moments of hope started to appear already in the loss against Katzeburg. And the main source of this hope was Ralsalien attacking line. In that match, Kasyan Menon secured an early lead with his goal on 16th minute, and by the end on the match, Ralsaliens had more shots and shots on target than their opponent. Who knows, how this game could end, if Meine was still on the team.

35. WC 99 QUALIFICATION. MATCHDAY 3.
RALSALIN 3-1 New Fernia

Goals:
0-1 12'
1-1 Obamawartin (Aniko) 37'
2-1 Aniko 47'
3-1 Obamawartin 90'


36. WC 99 QUALIFICATION. MATCHDAY 4.
Burikinia 0-2 RALSALIN

Goals:
0-1 Obamawartin (Aniko) 28'
0-2 Obamawartin (Aniko) 43'

In the second international window, Ralsalin was scheduled to play against New Fernia and Burikinia, teams from the lower pots than The Knights. To fulfill the expectations and have a chance to fight for the place in the upper half of the group, Ralsalin needed to pass this window perfectly and secure 4 or 6 points in it. After both Rantika and Hadka failed on a left flank, Seibold von Niermann came with a new idea. This time, more experienced (the long experience of sitting on a bench definitely helped) Aivars Suta was named as the left-back, and Makar Rantika was put in the center of the defence together with Dhidhen Tõru, who could help less experienced Rantika and fix his mistakes and blunders. It seems, that for now, this idea of von Niermann actually worked. Ralsalin finished the second international break perfectly, securing 6 points out of 6, scoring 5 goals and conceding only one from a free kick. Suta, who is more experienced and calm than Rantika and Hadka, didn't panic and successfully defended the left flank.

But the more suprising discovery was made in the attacking line. On the 29th minute of the match against New Fernia, while Ralsalin was 0-1 down, Kasyan Menon suffered a calf strain and was unable to continue a game. Sadly, Menon missed the matchday 4 and will miss matchdays 5 and 6. Alexander Obamawartin entered the game instead of Kasyan, and this sub almost immediately changed the game. Obamawartin got into a game and managed to form an effective duo with Viktor Aniko. Both players then scored three goals, securing three points. In the match against Burikinia, the same scenario happened. Aniko provided Obamawartin with effective passes, and 28-year old forward effectively realized his chances, scoring both goals.

It seems like the defence problems are being solved and the attacking line became more deadly. But it is too early to make some conclusions from the performance we saw on matchdays 3 and 4, as The Knights played against opponents from pots 7 and 8. The real state of the team will be discovered in matches against Kelssek and West Barack and East Obama, the top teams of the group. How will Suta perform against the high ranks? And what will happen with Aniko-Obamawartin duo when Menon will recover?

MD1: vs. Reçueçn #50 (H)                                   | 0-1 | 6th ↓
MD2: vs. Katzeburg #54 (A)                                 | 1-2 | 9th ↓
MD3: vs. New Fernia #151 (H)                               | 3-1 | 6th ↑
MD4: vs. Burikinia #195 (A)                                | 2-0 | 4th ↑
MD5: vs. The Enqab Archipelago Laboratories #248 (H)
MD6: vs. Wentzville UR (H)
MD7: vs. Kelssek #7 (A)
MD8: vs. West Barack and East Obama #26 (H)
MD9: vs. Poafmersia #78 (A)
MD10: vs. Reçueçn #50 (A)    
MD11: vs. Katzeburg #54 (H)
MD12: vs. New Fernia #151 (A)
MD13: vs. Burikinia #195 (H)
MD14: vs. The Enqab Archipelago Laboratories #248 (A)
MD15: vs. Wentzville UR (A)
MD16: vs. Kelssek #7 (H)
MD17: vs. West Barack and East Obama #26 (A)
MD18: vs. Poafmersia #78 (H)

MD5 vs.  The Enqab Archipelago Laboratories (H): Gosens - Suta, Rantika, Shindeberg, Aniko (VC) - Astafjevs, Heen, Kirtiman Asier - von Erlaid (C), Minsen-Dwarasen, Obamawartin.
Substitutes: Maiyenkar, Handinyu, Haindasyu, Hadka, Tõru, Mungain-Dehane, Bougakov, Veerman, Danishevskiy, Titov, Sengendwara, Tikhonov, Gokio

MD6 vs.  Wentzville (A): Gosens - Suta, Rantika, Tõru, Aniko (VC) - Astafjevs, Heen, Kirtiman Asier - von Erlaid (C), Minsen-Dwarasen, Obamawartin.
Substitutes: Maiyenkar, Handinyu, Haindasyu, Shindeberg, Suta, Mungain-Dehane, Bougakov, Veerman, Danishevskiy, Titov, Sengendwara, Tikhonov, Gokio

[Tikariot]

Chapter 1: Welcome to Sugar Creek
Chapter 2: Cupcake Awakening

Chapter 3: Death by Dessert
The monstrous cupcake lunged toward Sandy with a wet squelch and a high-pitched, warbling cackle. She instinctively raised her shiny clipboard in defense—though it now had a bite-shaped notch in the corner—hoping it might stop the thing. But the cupcake’s frosting tentacles slithered around it effortlessly, yanking it from her grasp. The clipboard clattered across the floor, leaving her exposed.

A second cupcake, larger and dripping caramel, launched itself at her from behind. Sandy staggered backward with a strangled yelp, her shoe slipping on a smear of pink buttercream. She tumbled to the ground.

As her head hit the floor with a dull thud, the cupcakes descended. Sugar-crystal teeth bit into her sleeves, and sticky caramel strands lashed around her, binding her arms. A wave of frosting appendages covered her face, muffling her screams until they dissolved into garbled gurgles, like a kazoo choked with syrup.

In her final moment of resistance, Sandy’s legs kicked wildly, dislodging a shoe that sailed across the room and landed in the sink with a pathetic thud. Her phone buzzed from her pocket, vibrating against the tile, but it was far too late. The cupcakes surged over her like a living tide of confections, dragging her deeper into the sticky, sugar-fueled massacre.

---

Doug and Lucy stood frozen in the doorway, watching with horrified fascination—the kind of scene you know you should look away from but are incapable of doing so.

Lucy tugged at Doug’s arm, snapping him out of his trance. “Run!”

Just in time. A volley of mini cupcakes shot from two larger monstrosities—like cannonballs of death. The mini cupcakes didn’t just splatter; they crawled toward each other, merging into larger, more aggressive confections with caramel fangs and sprinkle-studded claws.

Lucy bolted for the front door, but it was jammed. Doug, half-panicked, turned to the advancing dessert army. “I made you! You’re desserts!” he shouted, voice cracking.

The cupcakes seemed to grow angrier. One reared back and shot a stream of molten caramel that singed a poster on the wall. Another sprouted licorice legs and skittered forward like a spider.

Lucy grabbed a rolling pin from a nearby counter, swatting at cupcakes as they advanced. “They’re not listening!”

A particularly large cupcake latched onto Doug’s leg, its sugar teeth gnashing at his pants. Doug shrieked and kicked, but the thing held fast—until Lucy, now wielding a baking tray like a shield, smacked it into frosting oblivion.

Doug finally managed to wrench the door open, and the two tumbled into the alley behind the bakery. Cupcakes hurled themselves against the door as Doug and Lucy threw their combined weight against it, finally wedging it closed with a nearby dumpster. Frosting oozed through the cracks, and the door shuddered with every impact.

For the first time since the nightmare began, they could catch their breath. Lucy’s hair was plastered to her face with caramel, and both were streaked with frosting, bits of batter clinging to their clothes.

Lucy doubled over, panting. “This… this is not good. Not good at all.”

Doug leaned against the wall, dazed. “All I wanted was to bake cupcakes…”

---

They stumbled into the dim, foggy alleyway, hearts racing, and made their way toward the market square. Behind them, the bakery windows glowed faintly in the mist. As they turned back to look, dozens of tiny cupcake eyes gleamed from the dark interior, like a predator waiting for the right moment to strike.

Then, with a sudden CRACK, the front bakery window shattered outward. A wave of cupcakes burst through, tumbling and bouncing into the street—frosting tentacles flailing, caramel maws snapping.

A rogue cupcake, about the size of a cat, bounced to the ground. A real cat approached it, swatting curiously at the frosting. The cupcake hissed, frosting tentacles writhing, and lunged at the cat, chasing it up a lamppost.

More cupcakes spilled into the street like living cannonballs. Some rolled like tumbleweeds, others hopped erratically, while a few scuttled on licorice legs. One even commandeered a toppled bicycle, its frosting appendages gripping the handlebars as it wobbled toward the square.

Lucy grabbed Doug’s arm, her voice sharp with realization. “They’re escaping! We have to warn someone!”

Doug’s voice cracked, barely above a whisper, his gaze fixed on the glowing eyes in the fog. “They are loose…”

As they turned to run, the cupcakes began to disperse into the fog, vanishing into the shadows of the town, leaving a trail of frosting and caramel in their wake.

---

The camera lingers on the dark, foggy street as a giant cupcake—twice the size of the others—emerges from the bakery’s ruined window. It lets out a low, gurgling warble that echoes through the square, as if calling to the rest of the town’s sweets…

[Cardenao]

“Fucks sake, would be great if we could string some results together, get some momentum building!”

“Yeah bro, I feel you on that one. Would’ve been so good to get the three points against Eastfield Lodge but hey, we go again!”

A couple of the Cardenao national team footballers were out for tacos, a nice way to cut a little loose from the stress of World Cup Qualification, get some tasty food, and have a chance to catch up ‘outside of the office’. There were three of them sitting around a rinky-dink plastic table with paper napkins fluttering away in the breeze, while a family of four whipped up some of the best pastor and pineapple for miles around while the youngest son knew how to put together a mean torta cardanaoa. It was perfect food for after training, perfect for sitting with friends, perfect when you’re drunk at night, and perfect in the morning; yes, the footballers came here more often than Marcelo, the team’s nutritionist would like. The trio were ChuChu Hernandez, Kiko Nécib, and Salva Perez, and they were in decent enough spirits as some cheeky beers were cracked open.

“I mean, we’re playing well enough, wouldn’t you say Salva?” Kiko posed to the elder statesman of the team. Salva was a remnant of a time seen as being gone by, in the distant past, a time when football in Cardenao and the national team seemed to be on the ascendancy, cracking the top-50 and qualifying for World Cup 97, but it fell apart faster than the team could blink. Just like that, funding shifted away towards gridiron football, baseball, and basketball, more minor sports in Cardenao yet ones that were producing results rapidly. And so, the MegaPower League came to a grinding halt, Haritz Larrainzar, Juanma Sáez, and Chímo Ventura were all sent into early retirements, and just like that…the golden era was over before it even started, all in a span of six years.

“Well,” the 34 year old right back began, “we’re definitely not shit so that’s half of it right there!” He said, trying to spare the egos of his younger teammates on this sensitive and complex topic.

“Nahhh fool come off it, sure the loss to Estorvipa and Estorpiva wasn’t great but we’ve been playing alright! Kiko’s already got three goals to his name, we’re doing the right things mane!”

Classic ChuChu, full of bravado, swagger, and an unyielding belief in the superiority of his team’s and his own abilities. Belief, however, could have a complicated time when it clashed with reality, and that was roughly where the Blue and Golds found themselves four games into qualifying with a split 2-2 record.

“Look we’re decent but, and I don’t say this to offend, but plenty of the old team could’ve walked in here and made a real difference. The loss to Estorvipa sucked man, let’s be real, and we barely beat the unranked Brigantii,” he paused, seeing a crestfallen expression on ChuChu’s face, “but we’ve got some nice players, we do play as a team, I do think we’re on the up and up.”

“Thanks for that…” ChuChu grumbled back.

Kiko, who had been absentmindedly picking at his food, took the time to speak up. “Ya know, they say the first step to being good at something, real real good like we want to be, is to suck at it. Well we finished second in CAFA 11 two years ago, so I’d say we’re further up the ladder than sucking.”

“Fuckin right,” Chu murmured. “Hey, who do we play next? They better be ready for a smashing!”

“No clue,” Kiko and Slava said simultaneously. Classic Cardenaoans not knowing their opponent but being absolutely convinced of their own impending victory. At any rate, it wasn’t like who the Blue and Golds were going up against actually mattered all that much; this is World Cup qualification, every single point mattered and the only objective is to win.

The players paused their conversation to reflect on their shared future, and to chow down while the food was hot. In the background, the spicy cadence of Cardenaoan salsa through a patchy radio was interrupted by a breaking news announcement. As the news host started talking about Mihaly creating new special economic zones, or something like that, the footballers tuned it out of their minds. No time for politics when you have a ball to kick.

“Well,” Salva said after the lengthy silence of taco consumption, “ain’t nothing to it but to do it.”

La Furia Azule, once the pride of Cardenao, was full of tacos and ready to go, fate, and napkins, in their greasy hands.

[Vdara]

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactionin' me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark

The Vdarans trekked to Malta fresh off of a solid 2-1 victory over Drawkland, everyone's second favourite resident nation of Sonnel - the nation's Hellenic brothers and sisters in Juvencus taking pride of place. The atmosphere surrounding the match did end up being more of a relaxed one, at least prior to the game - a new goalkeeper between the sticks, events celebrating the team's arrival to the island, the whole nine yards. Heck, rumour had it that a select few members of the elite and some corrupt politicians had managed to weasel their way into a private meeting with the squad which cut into their pre-match training. Truth be told, the whole thing felt more like a show than a football match. Nobody seemed to care about proper preparation, tactics, or even what a Solgavden was. A strange atmosphere, to be sure. Indeed, it was this atmosphere which ultimately led to Vdara's poor start to the game, as the Solgavs came rushing out at a hundred miles an hour, piling the pressure onto the lackadaisical and lethargic Vdaran squad and ultimately snagging the first goal of the match, much to the dismay of the sell-out home crowd. Quite hilariously, after all the pomp and circumstance in the lead-up, the first international goalscorer at the Stadio Fotellis was Soren Danielsan. Funny that. Nevertheless, this gave the Vdarans the kick up the arse they needed, but despite their surge in performance levels, most of their shots went flying over the bar with Gunnvaldr "Gunny" Kristoffersan rooted to the spot - and so, when the half-time whistle was sounded, they trudged into the dressing room facing a 1-0 deficit. Arse.

The dressing room itself was a quiet place, with the rambunctious atmosphere from before having slowly been sapped away over the previous 45 minutes. Often, when things were going poorly for his team, Markos would swing his foot at the door and give his players hell, complete with personalised insults, a reddening face, and bulging forehead veins. He did this so often that by this point it's practically one of his trademarks, something his vocal cords will certainly not be thanking him for. However, this would happen to be a very rare occasion where Markos kept his half time remarks concise.

"You know you can do better than that. There's tens and thousands of supporters out there who have waited years to see you in the flesh, and you're fucking up left, right, and centre in front of their faces. Stop being a disappointment and sort yourselves out, this mob were practically dying on their feet in Bostopia."

Thus, when they came back onto the pitch for the second half, they noted the distinctive features of fatigue on their opponents’ faces - the bags under their eyes, their faces even redder than before - the Vdarans began to up the ante even further. Shot after shot continued to hit the woodwork or a defender, until at long last, a corner was launched outside the box by Grazzja Le Brun, whereupon it fell directly to the swinging boot of team captain Alessia La Rosa, who fired it into the top right corner with a ferocity that would leave many goalkeepers crying in their sleep. ”Bullseye.” she remarked to herself, gesturing to her teammates to hurry up so they could get this game going again. Pressure continued to mount on the Solgavs, and as time continued to tick away, cameth the hour, and cameth the man. There was something quite bittersweet about Ferrero Fotellis, the son of the stadium's namesake, netting the winning goal so late on in the team's first ever international match at the ground. The crowd at all ends of the pitch roared with delight as Ferrero cartwheeled his way to the touchline, his teammates following to celebrate alongside him. It hadn't been their best performance, and it wasn't likely to be one that lived long in the memory, but for the home crowd and indeed Ferrero himself, this goal would be etched into their minds forever. The full time whistle soon followed, and Vdara were able to reap the hard-fought spoils of their clash with far more delight than they possibly deserved to - but who cares, really. It's moments that take the headlines, after all.

Having shaken the hand of the Solgavden coach, Markos moved onto geeing up the crowd, swinging his arms and shouting towards the joyous rabble of fans who matched his energy as the players circled the pitch, clapping those who had attended. Maybe it was genuine excitement, or maybe it was just aura farming, but whatever the case it seemed to be bringing a much-needed sparkle back to his eyes. He swore he could even feel the follicles of his hair beginning to turn black once more, but perhaps that was a stretch too far. Having said that, he could definitely feel something coming back to him, be it his spirit for the game, his youthfulness, or both. Were that to be the case, he felt he could be in charge for a damn sight longer than just four games prior.

Post-Match Interview

"A shaky start aside, your team appear to really be getting into the groove of things. Was there anything in particular that's changed around the squad ethos, or were things just tense to start with?"

"We all have our teething problems, and it feels like we have them every cycle at this rate. I did have a word with Emilios after the Bostopia match - he was fully understanding of what was going on, and if anything he welcomed the change for Illiana to make her debut."

"Speaking of, she really impressed today, didn't she?"

"Yeah, really pleased with her. It wasn't a pretty performance for most of the boys and girls out there today, and she could have really let her confidence take a knock when Solgavden got that early goal, but being the consummate professional she is she picked herself up and made some great saves today."

"Will Illiana be a regular feature of the squad from now on, do you think?"

"Honestly, who knows. Emilios needed the competition for his spot, and to me it looks like he relished the opportunity. I mean, he put in a good show himself against Drawkland, so we can't be too hasty with nailing either of them as a starter yet. Even then, we've still got big Karallis as another option, and he's another decent player that we've got on our hands. But frankly I'm just super pleased to see the squad starting to click into action, especially between the sticks. I create goalkeeping discourse, and we concede fewer goals. Just call me a sexy genius."

"You're a sexy genius."

"I was being figurative. I didn't like that. You're weird."

There wasn't a lot of time for Markos to remain cocky, however, as matches against Sarzonia and Vielfaltig were soon to follow. The former, being the group's top seed, had gone through a rather stuttery start, yet were only three points off Vdara at the top of the table. A de facto clash of the best sides in Group 14 is almost certainly one to watch, and with Markos beginning to rediscover the fire in his belly it could be an absolute cracker to watch.

[Kimi-Suomi]

Kimi-Suomi never really asks for much on the international stage. It has its place on the map in Anaia and a military of its own ,yet despite that, you will rarely hear a Suomen ask their international peers for something... except when it comes to sport. Sport is the ultimate escape for those in the Rogue Kuningaskunta that wish that their homeland can have more of an impact globally...and they have done well so far, with HM and their Kriketti team being notable risers in the pecking order. Yet despite all of this, football hasn't really followed in their footsteps thus far...because the talent here is packed to the rafters from nation to nation. Making it big here requires so much more than in other sports, but that doesn't mean Esko Laaksonen has an impossible job trying to steer this team to a World Cup. Just one that is harder than most.

Case in point, Light Night in the Galaktien Colosseum. The opening game in Lumikukkulat against Natkr was supposed to be a lit show of football by torchlight that would help us deliver a win to the home crowd...but Kyes Weah had other ideas. Elijah Hernandez ended up drawing first blood, Jason Jenner-Pokka responded in kind and in the 2nd half, we took the lead thanks to Karl Leif Svonsson. But then things would fall downhill as Jonty Hatfield came from the defence to equalise before David Lopez grabbed the late winner to stun the home crowd. 2-3. Not good enough.

But what about Germaaninen Kissa, the Germanic Cat? How would that game go? Well, fortunately for us, this road trip to Saksa would end up being fruitful as we managed to record our first win of the seaon against the BoF team. Topias Maxhuni managed a brace with Anne Marie Leppälä and Eero Wirkkala also in the goals and while Emil Fellnase denied Alexander Ekdal the clean sheet, 4-1 is still a voittaa in anyone's books.

So we are finally in the win column down in 8th, but still only 5 points behind the Top 3 with 14 games still to play...so this is still anyone's game. NSSCRA Warz continues for us as Aphrilinen starts this mini-series in Pesä before the first-ever Border Bust-Up against out next-door neighbours StrayaRoos.
This are going to get fun in the short turn, so buckle up.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

---

SCHEDULE/AJOITTAA (Group 13)
MD1: vs Alanis Star (119) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki (NSSCRA Warz I) D 1-1 (T-4th)
MD2: @Hapilopper (49) - Nathan Ellis SuperStadium, Hapilopper City (NSSCRA Warz II) L 1-2 (T-7th)
---------
MD3: vs Natkr (110) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat (Light Night) L 2-3 (8th)
MD4: @Germaaninen Kissa [Germanic Cat] (269) W 4-1 (8th)
---------
MD5: vs Aphrilinen [Aphrilia] (57) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki (NSSCRA Warz III)
MD6: @StrayaRoos (22) (Border Bust-Up)
---------
MD7: vs Pohjois-Puolan Unioni [The North Polish Union] (224) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat (Blue Night)
MD8: @Kytlerin Niemimaa [The Kytler Peninsulae] (15)
---------
MD9: vs Anewkansas (UR) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki (Family Night)
MD10: @Alanis Star (119) (NSSCRA Warz IV)
---------
MD11: vs Hapilopper (49) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat (NSSCRA Warz V, HM Night)
MD12: @Natkr (110)
---------
MD13: vs Germaaninen Kissa [Germanic Cat] (269) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki (White Night)
MD14: @Aphrilinen [Aphrilia] (57) - Millennium Dawn Stadium, Darlingtown (NSSCRA Warz VI)
---------
MD15: vs StrayaRoos (22) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat (Rajan Rikkoutuminen)
MD16: @Pohjois-Puolan Unioni [The North Polish Union] (224)
---------
MD17: vs Kytlerin Niemimaa [The Kytler Peninsulae] (15) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki (Kytlair Flight 134 Memorial Night)
MD18: @Anewkansas (UR) - Fallstaff Stadium, Bridgehead(?)

---

NSSCRA Warz Table                     Pld  W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
 1 Hapilopper                          2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6
 2 Kimi-Suomi                          2   0  1  1    2   3  -1    1
 3 Alanis Star                         2   0  1  1    2   4  -2    1
 - Aphrilinen                          0   0  0  0    0   0   0    0

[Vaishnavaria]

Brutal Loss to Saint Eleanor leads Tigers to a crucial crossroad

Vaishnavaria is struggling at 1 win, 1 draw and 2 losses as they fall 3-0 to the group topping Saint Eleanor national football team. The Midifeld continues to perform poorly with only Nik Rosario holding up his front with multiple steals and pass deflections. With Alecsander Komich's performance in question after a bad ankle injury against Natanians and Nost Zakaraya Kar leads the Tigers in total goals. In total the Tigers are a mess


The Saint Eleanorian attackers dissescted the Tigers with brutal long passes and pure pace pushing through the midfield like butter. Kapil Nartar like usual held down the fort but the rest of the defense struggled including Hastan Raystone who let bye 1 goal after messing up his positioning. The Saint Eleanorian strikers got open very easily putting a lot of pressure on Giovanni Marcilo to stop the goals and he managed to save 5 but left 3 pass him easily


Alecsander Komich continues to struggle after recovering from his 2 week ankle injury missing 2 crucial passes that could have put up goals for the Tigers and created chances. Komich also isn't as explosive in dribbling losing some battles to the Saint Eleanor defenders. Don Ososton managed to shine on the offensive side of the bowl creating many chances with his explosive pace and physicality although his poor shooting continues to catch up with him as he missed a decently easy goal by tonking it off the post.

[Zwangzug]

The Spenson Star

Zwangzug overcame the Eagles of the Osnari Federation on Matchday Five, before losing to Flavovespia at Wayr Stadium. A third of the way through the group stage, they are tied with Zenic for first in Group 5, as the Hornets try to gain ground after an uneven start.

The Osnari Federation were bolstered by a loud home crowd at their Osnarstadion; the Zwangzugian fans who made the trip to Anaia found themselves stymied by Suris' lackluster public transportation system. The Eagles have an attacking mindset, and we were amused to find that their center forward is surnamed Blum--no relation to Zwangzug's Gordon, whose forty-eight goals for the national team rank second in the modern era. The offense would be all Zwangzug today, however.

In the first half, the Eagles' physicality was an imposing factor; players like Raik Nagel and Raphael Osterwalder could easily outmuscle Jubilee McGraw in the midfield. The visitors caught a break twenty-four minutes in, when Joder Hugentobler was unexpectedly far forward; Nicholas Palmetto set up Beppo Hegesa, who capitalizeed for a goal.

By the time the second half got underway, the late-arriving fans had made it to the stadium to give Zwangzug their support. It seemed to work, with Brunnhilde Lavrans scoring just after the restart, past Loris Rosli. (The Osnari Federation have an enviable selection dilemma in the goalkeeper position, with the veteran Rosli having edged out the wunderkind Hias Schefer, probably on the strength of having a first and last name that are anagrams.) By the time the eightieth minute had rolled around, Hugentobler had made way for the memetic Babacar Spahn, who was probably at fault for a tactical mispositioning that alloweed Callan Regins-Ybou to score an extra goal, but the fans didn't seem to mind.

After that, it was up to the heights of the Rackham Range. Flavovespia line up in a (1)-4-5-1 formation similar to Zwangzug's own, and the first half saw a taut back-and-forth battle for possession in the midfield, with Lavrans and Frank Johnson (rotated into the starting lineup after an underwhelming draw with Indusse) seeing little action. The visitors broke through in minute 63, when Roger "Not A" Burden dribbled forward to set up David Atkinson.

"Xanneria were able to defeat the world champions, so they're not a team to underestimate," said Tandre Vusin-Jacques, anticipating the next matchday. "Also, I appreciated the opportunity to learn about Key Industries on our visit to the Osnari Federation! It's great to see organizations rising to the cybersecurity challenges of our digitally complex world! There's probably a lot that Zwangzug can learn from them."

"Stop putting the goalkeeper in parentheses when you write out formations," demanded Tinn Jejue. "It's never going to catch on, and all it does is give ammunition to the Ephesian nutcases. I promise my colleagues' self-esteem is strong enough that they don't mind being left out of the formation. Also, I'm pretty sure that those Key guys are doing some shady illicit hacking stuff, which Zwangzug are far too impractical to take advantage of or do anything about, because we have no ability to do anything applied other than talking about how big prime numbers are pretty."

[Yuugria]

Another Attack Strikes Mining Facility in Ushu Province

The quiet jungle near Daecader was shattered again. Explosions rocked the skies in the early morning as the mining site in eastern Ushu Province was struck by the terrorist group Help Earth. This was the third attack in the past five months. This time, it was worse. Much worse.

The guards on site tried to hold the line. They were brave. But the attackers came fast. They moved through the trees and brush with expert speed and brutal precision. They planted firebombs and explosives on the outer rim of the facility. A fire started fast. Then the gunfire began.

The miners ran for their lives. Some were caught in the crossfire. Some were burned in the blast. Reports say nearly 34 workers were in the facility during the attack. 12 were injured. 5 are still missing. The rest escaped through the dense bush in the back. Security teams arrived late. The damage was done.

The Help Earth fighters vanished back into the jungle after torching most of the supply crates. Trucks were flipped. Tools stolen. Machinery burned to the frame. One of the lead engineers, Ban Dallah, was pulled from the wreckage by his own apprentice. His arm was shattered. His lungs full of smoke. But he is alive.

The Governor of Ushu Province, Hader Waas, arrived at the site later that evening. His face was blank. He stared at the twisted remains of the ore silo. He gave a short speech. “This will not go unanswered,” he said. Then he left.

Dar Ibaad has not yet made a formal comment. Inad Farii is expected to speak soon. The Empire mourns the lives lost. The attack shows again that the threat is not over. The jungle is not safe.

Daecader has tightened its night patrols. Checkpoints are going up on the southern roads. But whispers say the attackers are already far gone, deep into the uncharted forests.

The mines remain closed. The workers have been sent home. The fires were still smoldering late into the night. The smoke rose above the trees like a dark signal. A cruel warning.

The jungle has become a warzone again.

[Osterhalten]

SOCIALIST REPUBLIC of OSTERHALTEN

Language in Osterhalten

---

Osterhalten is home to six regional languages, including English, German, French, Dutch, Italian, and Finnish, in descending order of total speakers. While English has become the primary language of the nation, every language in the nation has protected status, is taught in local schools, and is offered as a choice of language in every school in the nation to help prevent language extinction. In addition, language courses are also offered free of charge to any citizen who desires to learn one, instructing pupils up to a B1 level in the language over a year-long, moderately intensive course. Within these courses, students are provided with two textbooks, one for the A1-A2 level, and one for B1, with a B2 textbook provided if desired to continue learning after the introductory course has been completed. Government documents and paperwork is required to be translated into all six languages, though the vast majority (about 98%) of Osterhalters speak one of English, French, or German. Congress is for the most part conducted in English, with exceptions allowing for one of the other five. The states of New Conach, Maakiari, and Scadria are bilingual, the first two listing Finnish and English as official languages while the third listing English and Italian. All other states are officially monolingual and carry out duties in the language of choice.

The foundation of English becoming the main language is largely as a result of the treaty of unification signed to create the nation of Osterhalten. The least-populated, least-accepting member of the three kingdoms that unified was Windsor, a primarily English-speaking nation, and demanded a few concessions from Richelieu and Vichelin (who’s union would be made incredibly more difficult with the absence of the nation in between the two). These concessions included English being the primary language of Osterhalten, in addition to the capital of the new nation being located in Dreamcliff, Windsor’s capital. English is the local, historical language in the states of Windsor, Thornland, New Conach, and Capital.

German is spoken in the East of the nation, in the states of Saarburg, Ponomo, Ashcairn, Burton, Arbour, and Vichelin. The language has been most susceptible to decline with the rise of English, though German is still the native language of 84% of people in its historical territory. The nation’s major artistic, trade, and research centers of Ingny and Hauberg speak German, and as a result much of Osterhalten’s high culture and science is heavily influenced by German speakers. Many of Osterhalten’s most famed literary works have been composed in German, such as Kanzler, Maximilian Brunner’s 1893 novel, and Der Wald (The Forest), a 1932 book promoting ecological preservation written by Charlotte Schmidt.

French is primarily spoken in the country’s west, in the states of Richelieu, Whitbourne, Monguijes, Watcland, Bathurst, Borterre, Terrebonne, and Chapais, as well as in sections of Scadria. Though the reasons are disagreed upon, the French language has maintained more of its integrity than German has since unification. 97% of inhabitants of the states learned French as their first language, compared to 84% of the inhabitants of the formerly-Vicheliner states speaking German as their first language. Explanations range greatly, from the languages being in different families (Germanic vs Romance), to geography, to different mindsets towards the Osterhaltienne political system between regions.

The Dutch language can be found on two of the nation’s three island states, Withings and Weisinstaat. When the Dutch nation of Weisin was conquered by the former Vichelin kingdom by sea in 1776 by King Seigfried IV, both islands came under Vicheliner control, yet retained a degree of autonomy similar to that of the (soon to be mentioned) Scadrian city-states under Richelieu. These states additionally retained their Dutch culture and language, allowing the preservation of their customs free from assimilation. Dutch is spoken by approximately 1.5 million people in Osterhalten, the third lowest total before Italian and Finnish.

Italian is spoken primarily in the state of Scadria, along the Riviera region and reaching slightly further into the rest of the state. A community of Italian speakers has existed there for hundreds of years, established as a trading hub for the Catrians around the year 1500. The Scadrian Italians eventually broke away from Catria, and after a brief period of independence as merchant city states were absorbed into Richelieu following a brief conflict for control of the area. The Italian language and culture was never oppressed by the Richelians, and the Scadrian cities remained relatively autonomous, allowing the language to continue to dominate the region to this day, with about 1.1 million native speakers.

The Finnish language is spoken in some parts of Maakiari, the state formerly known as “the Great North”. This language has had the most difficult time with preservation, as when the territory was under the rule of Windsor pre-unification, the language was under threat of assimilation and eradication in order to centralize the sparsely populated region. Nowadays, 250,000 people speak the language in Maakiari, about half of Maakiarians, while a moderate count of about 100,000 in neighboring New Conach are also native speakers. Maakiari is the state with the strongest movement for autonomy, thanks to the historical cultural differences between the Finnish speakers and the other communities in the nation. The Party for The Great North advocates for Maakiarian autonomy, with some in the party advocating for complete independence.

---

2-0-1 Osterhalten (103) 0-1 (32) HUAYRAMARCA 3-0-0

3-0-1 OSTERHALTEN (103) 2-0 (82) Damukuni 1-1-2
'25 Haselhurst (4)
'88 Rothmann (1)

[Vaishnavaria]

(OOC a friend typed about half of this for me while I was recovering from Injury)

Kapil Nartar's Story: From Rock Bottom to National Hero

Kapil Nartar was once known for all the wrong reasons. Before he became the wall of Vaishnavaria’s defense, his name came up in bars, not stadiums. Drunk fights, missed practices, and wasted potential—that was his story. Everyone gave up on him. Everyone but himself.

Kapil was born into a football-loving family. He had height, speed, and skill. By 18, he was a rising star in the youth leagues. By 20, he was in contention for the VSL. But the pressure cracked him. Injuries, harsh criticism, and personal grief pushed him toward the alcohol bottle. Drinking took over. He lost his edge. He lost his spot. At 23, he was cut.

Then came the fight that changed everything. Drunk, angry, and in the news for the wrong reasons, he hit rock bottom. Everyone walked away. Everyone except Nathan Kolyov—an old coach. Kolyov sent him one message: *"You can drown or fight."*

Kapil chose to fight.

He went into rehab. He stayed clean. He trained every day like it was war. Slowly and painfully he rebuilt his life. A small club Karkot FC—gave him a shot. He took it with both hands. Within one season, he was a machine on the field. Karkot went to the Super League. He led them to two titles.

Then the call came. The Vaishnavaria Tigers wanted him.

Now 30, Kapil Nartar is the soul of the defense. Tough, smart, and fearless. He plays like a man who has already lost everything—and refuses to lose again. He speaks openly about his past. About addiction. About fighting back. He tells young players the truth: fall hard, but never stay down.

Kapil Nartar didn’t just come back. He came back stronger.

This is more than a football story. This is a story about pain, recovery, and redemption.

Kapil Nartar is proof. You can fall. You can lose. But you can rise again.

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: Vaishnavaria now has a roster! Note to self, keep on posting your RPs two minutes before the cutoff, lest your opponent be late to roster again

Group of Six meeting (LXIII) --- SAINT ELEANOR 4-0 Nexxus Drako
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Rick Goldsmith [ballot]
Location: Geometrio's pizza; Brightway district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

Match summary
Goals: Vickers (19), Felaraneta (31 & 60), Woodward (73). No reds; a couple of yellows, on their side. Welcome back, Olympia. This was an utterly comprehensive performance and I don't think there are any serious takeaways from this one other than "stick to the gameplan, unless disastrous things happen." Unsurprisingly, however, disastrous things aren't completely out of the question with our next opponents.

Tactical discussion:
* Vaishnavaria, despite being fifth seeds, look like a very aggressive, very competent team - if HOT-DAMN underestimated them, so could we!
* Gentle Breeze has ordered a one-match suspension of the offside trap, surely aware of Grant's near-goalhanging tendencies
* More generally, the Tigers run a physically-fluid, well-oiled 3-4-3 with a good focus on dribbling and short passes...
* It is known that Komich (on the right) and Kar (on the left) are aggressive, and Kar especially vulnerable to counter-aggression, so Falconer and Curran are our best bets at fullback
* Attempts should not be made at man-marking, given the strikers' ability and willingness to go anywhere and do anything and Ososton's phenomenality
* Presumably, the defenders can be defeated in one of two ways - by early Falconer/Lawson crosses, or via "pumping the ball into the box" (or the vicinity) to avert inconvenience
* It is therefore critically important that we pump up the left flank, keep them aggressive, and ensure that everyone else behaves normally, or perhaps even with a bit of va-va-voom
* Some of the names may be a bit different - Bright the bastard returns to keep their defence on edge - but the strategy will remain consistent for the full 90 minutes

TAKEAWAY: STAND FIRM IN DEFENCE AND TRY YOUR BEST IN ATTACK - THERE IS ONE SERIOUS ROAD TO VICTORY - WE NEED TO TAKE IT

AGREED LINEUP (4-2-3-1): Richardson - Falconer, Vickers, Launceston, Curran - Coombe [cdm], Matsuda - Lawson, Felaraneta, Ohan - Bright

- Cathy

Matt Morrison: "There are a lot of rule-takers in the squad but that's not a problem"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers surveys Katy Wilson's arguable understudy for his own, rather distinct opinions
Originally published on Friday 6th February 2015

Matt Morrison is almost as famous for his unremarkability as he is for his marking, or indeed anything else to do with his football. "I have to keep telling people that I'm not a nobody. I'm with Saint Eleanor, I'm with Indy, I know how this shit works, and I'm cognizant of my responsibilities. Did I sound too Bridget-y or Arielle-y there or am I good?"

Either way, Morrison - much like his fellow new arrival Bright - has never been afraid to speak up about what he believes in. "I am absolutely not political, not at all. All I do is stand to attention for the flag, praise the Mitchams, and go about my business. Now, I could see myself marrying Olympia Woodward, but she probably thinks I'm too working-class. That's perfectly okay. I was at the Academy, did alright, wasn't the best student in the world or even among my mates but they treated me right." Unsurprisingly, he has rather more to say about the 2004 Charles Trump Shield team he took part in. "I'd say that was a decently well-oiled defence and I played my part in it. I still definitely think had we held off the Girls' Preparatory, we'd have beaten Saint Ben's in the final; they didn't have a team to shout about, either. James Young was a legend. Cat Richards is also a legend - there are a couple of people who'll pillory me for this opinion but she didn't deserve all the shit she got and she's a bona-fide leader. I hope she's doing well now she's in the Army command or something like that."

There have been questions about Morrison's closeness to Katy Wilson, especially on club level. "Not romantic closeness. I could see myself marrying Olympia. I would never marry her! She's a good teacher and a good role model, and I think I've transitioned a bit into being a more pass-oriented, don't-make-anyone-upset defender - but I do make people upset, I get stuck into challenges more than her, and I'm not sure I'm really that famous. A lot of people have told me I'm part of a nice, solid defensive unit and that I've been integral to the side, though, which probably means that I'm being underrated by myself. Other people underrating me I can understand, but I'm not sure why I'm underrating myself. Years of being a good partner will do that to you." How does he feel about the centrebacks on this cycle's nationsl team being entirely made up of the Big Two's starters? "I mean, Lydia Sharp isn't that bad. I should probably be starting a couple of the games, but Lydia V and Esther are really good. We're just people who stick together and know how to work together. I could work with either of those ladies, but they have their own working relationship, Gentle Breeze knows her stuff, and alas."

Morrison has tried to make friends on the team, and has - unsurprisingly - succeeded so far. "Now, I've read some things about all the teetotalers on the side having dinner together on the old days. We should have a similar meeting but for people who like having opinions. It would be me and Izzy and Lydia Nicholls and Kave[zalea Felaraneta] and maybe a couple of other people. Great with all of those people, would talk to them a lot more if I could. There are a lot of rule-takers in the squad - even Bridget, I'd say - but that's not a problem because everyone knows what they have to do, we have a lot of introverts on the side, and there's a general expectation that I specifically - and everyone else collectively - do what they can to hold us over until next time, or times. Need I say more? Probably, but I'll have to go to News, not Sport, sorry."

Matt Morrison is a good, solid centreback who, at least on the pitch, knows how to deliver effective teamwork and will never do you wrong. Yet he is vocal, if not particularly enthusiastic about change; knows when to draw the line; and is fully aware of his place on the team. His relative lack of expectations must count for him, even if there are a couple of people who expect him to deliver, and a couple of occasions where everyone might demand that he get to work.

Group of Six meeting (LXIV) --- Vaishnavaria 0-3 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Robby Ellis [ballot]
Location: Premium Coffee; Trident district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

This was a surprisingly bump-free ride for everyone involved, except perhaps Kyle Russo, the poor thing. You would have expected the Tigers' defence to be on top form as always, but fortunately it was not to be for them. As always, I have my highlighters: yellow for retrospectives, blue for points about us, green for points about the opposition, pink for pre-match unknowns.

Everybody agreed that Falconer was an inspired choice for this round: she drove Kar up the wall, had a firm sense of her surroundings, didn't unnecessarily overturn the ball, and helped provide certainty to the outcome after her final assist for Isabella Bright, the other new-ish arrival. Other than that, we behaved, acted, and succeeded as normal. Vaishnavaria's attackers and central midfielders were as attacking as they could have been, but with such an emphasis on attack, our relatively massed defences could deal with them easily. I was almost disappointed that Vaishnavaria fell flat: they can give anyone a good game if they do well enough, but this doesn't seem to have been the case for them today. Our frontliners struggled a bit in turn, but were surprisingly more than able to get back the back three with almost routine vigour. As Robby joked, "the Tigers were only really paper tigers;" comments like this are why I love the Group of Six format. Perfection is not a bad place to be, although we'll see how far Loyo agree in the distant realms of Matchday 8.

----------

I think it goes without saying that HOT-DAMN are not the amateurs they used to be. Aside from their one draw (against none other than Vaishnavaria!), they have acted with complete and utter verve, almost the opposite of our style. It can more or less be presumed that, whoever they field, they will be just as feisty as the motherland. Mallett is out according to The Reporter and the Express, which - if true - means that we need to have a holistic approach to this team.

Buckshot is notorious for getting into run-ins; I'm quiet, sensible, and only rarely get sent off (I had to be reminded that it's happened to me before!), so Matsuda will be handling him for the time being. The rest of the team is likely to be annoying, if not out-and-out aggressive; we're not sure about the specifics, other than that the post-Mallett team will have to rise together or fall together... but I think it's likely that the typical one-to-eleven will fare well, as we're all rather capable of annoying people either through our action or through our relative calmness (waving at Esther, Olympia and Graham for this one). We will experiment at home and then see what we can take with us to New Hap City in the backend. The more things change, the more they stay the same!

[Siovanija and Teusland]

It's cutoff time in groups 6-10 for matchdays 5 and 6!

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

This RP is part of the Mystery Of Flight 134 story arc.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

In which I advance the arc a bit faster than I thought and simultaneously slower than I should have done, all because I missed some avgeek details.

The "orange box" flight recorder of Kytlair Flight 134 has been found in the Blood Sea, allowing a multinational investigation to finally unravel the secrets of the crash that killed 328 people including the Kytlerian national soccer team.

A press conference of officials from the multiple bodies - led by the Kytlerian AIRB and Quebecois STSB - involved in the search confirmed that the combined cockpit voice and data recorder was found at a depth of approximately 3,000m below the ocean surface "and that it appears the data can be fully recovered, despite some light damage to the CVDR unit." They were recovered by Royal Quebecois Navy submarine HMQS Kawartha, and are to be taken under judicial seal aboard the frigate HMQS Inverness - eventually to make their way to STSB offices for data download and analysis.

"We remain hopeful that an explanation can be found as soon as possible, whatever that explanation may be, in order to provide closure for the grieving families and indeed the whole Kytlerian nation that has been so shaken by this tragedy," said Gwendolyn Williams of AIRB at the press conference. The statement was notable for a rare emphasis on operating quickly; AIRB has long been known for their slower approach relative to other comparable bodies such as STSB.

Clituleng Giisost Stadium, Alaer, The Kytler Peninsulae
The Kytler Peninsulae 3-1 Germanic Cat (Vicente 12, Packard 17, Sigurdsdóttir 56; Pfötchen 9)

The second competitive Kytlerian national team match at the G briefly looked like it was going to be even more ignominious than the first. When a mistake from Stephen Hunter on his international debut allowed Milo Pfötchen to glide into the penalty area and place a curling shot into the bottom right corner, Germanic Cat - a team ranked outside the world top 250 - had taken a truly shocking lead. If this Kytlerian team was necessarily the B team, well, even a Z team should have been capable of beating this lot at home.

Turns out the undisputed A-teamer was there to save the day almost before we knew it was ever to be ruined. Vicente immediately won a free-kick level with the left post 25 yards out, curled it over the wall into the top left where Felix Katzmann had trusted to a wall that couldn't actually make a cat-like leap to stop it - nor could Katzmann, for that matter - and just like that, it was level again. Five minutes after that, Vicente exchanged passes on the edge of the box with Hjördis Sigurdsdóttir before floating a cross to the head of a completely unmarked Charles Packard, who couldn't and didn't miss.

From then on, it was all about game management. These cats didn't have nine lives, and there was no recovering from the decisive third goal early in the second half when Sigurdsdóttir made a late run into the box and was picked out by (you guessed it) Vicente, setting her up for an easy finish past Katzmann for her first senior international goal. Three games down, three points from each.

Millennium Dawn Stadium, Darlingtown, Aphrilia
Aphrilia 3-1 The Kytler Peninsulae (Rosberg 25, Lacey pen 37, Green 57; Sylvia Villa 14)

Aphrilia and The Kytler Peninsulae are forever entangled in each other's soccer history. After all, each made their Proper debut in WC97 - against each other, in what was meant to be a battle for third place given remaining matches against Chromatika and Farfadillis (who, erm, each lost to both of them, but nobody imagined that at the time) and ended in injury-time chaos as Kevin Lacey had a winning goal disallowed by video review for an off-the-ball trip on Teun Donk before Joanne Walgrave scored the actual winning goal in the fifth of "four" minutes of added time.

Things have changed, obviously. Teun Donk is no longer with us, for a start; Walgrave is, but the psychological residue of missing the fatal flight due to her club commitments in Pasarga has made her unwilling to rejoin the team just yet, certainly not for an away match. Kevin Lacey, for his part, was on the bench (as he was in that WC97 meeting), but was called into action on the half-hour after a precautionary substitution of Ines Forrestal. By that point, both teams were already on the scoresheet. The Kytlerians opened the scoring after patient buildup play led to an opening for Sylvia Villa, picked out by Park Si-Woo as the Aphrilians pressed up the field and lost track of one RSM academy graduate in their focus on the other (Vicente, who had drifted over to the right as what turned out to be a perfect decoy run). One cool finish later, and the Kytlerians were on track for win number four - until Nathaniel Rosberg hit a gorgeous equaliser from 20 yards, picked out by a cutback from Forrestal into space vacated by Oliver Vandome covering her more typical dribbling lane. That would be her last involvement before the minor injury saw her replaced by Lacey, who quickly won a penalty after being tripped by Yrko just inside the box; despite taking the boop from an absolute unit, he still felt able to take the penalty, and sent Vanessa Andrews the wrong way to give the hosts the lead. Yrko had come in for Hunter after the latter's mistake in the previous match; would there be another change coming?

The Kytlerians seemed to have the better of the second half at first - and had good reason to trust in their endurance and patience against a team loaded with aging players - but the home side did not bend, and instead were able to hit on the break when Vicente's cross was blocked by the 46-year-old Theo Cooper. The superannuated side promptly looked simply super as they poured forward, and a dangerous cross from another fortysomething in Erick Marshall was destined to find the net with any touch. One duly came from substitute Shawn Green, a "mere" 36, and the experience gap then showed as the Anchors weighed down their guests for a crucial win that they still barely celebrated. Whether that was because of respect for who it was against or simply the amount of work left to be done in a group that is shaping up to be a close fight for three spots between four teams is unknown - although the way they interacted with the opponents they'd just defeated suggests the former.

In any case, thoughts turn to StrayaRoos, for a particularly important clash against an Emus side with three NSL players in their usual squad (though FC Alaer's Ella Vidya is out with an ankle injury sustained late in a disappointing 3-3 draw with Anewkansas). They made it two rounds further than the Kytlerians at WC98, but are still ranked below them. Of course, this Kytlerian team is not that Kytlerian team. But you'd better believe their next opponents will want to prove a point.

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Lodger

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Sport >>> Football >>> World Cup 99

Noble winner puts Imperial Commonwealth back on form

Cardenao line-up

GK: Kai Chidubem
CB: Vittorino Seve Dioli
CB: Fedele Lenti
RB: Fito Peru
LB: Moustir-Yves Almeny [78'] (<> Tommy Inocencio 80’)
DMF: Jake Casales (<> Roberto Sendoa 58’)
CMF: Ricky Delafont (<> John 80’)
CMF: Camilo Zavala
RWF: Dimitri Micalizo [42'] (<> Htay Koko 72’)
LWF: ‘ChuChu’ Hernandez
ST: Kiko Nécib (<> Mariano Torquato 72’)

Eastfield Lodge line-up

GK: Amin Horak (<> Yuvin O’Sullivan 45’)
CB: Jazzmine Guillou
CB: Zakaria Webber
RB: Diana Kirkup
LB: Sadid St Cleer (<> Travis Boyd 70’)
DMF: Vivian Winter-Lula
DMF: Vonn Cope [35'] (<> Florian Mordecai 61’)
RMF: Boet Caceres (<> Sundus Gebo-McCraw 70’)
LMF: Monique Fredrich [65']
AMF: Paisley Lysander (<> Daisi Hackett 61’)
ST: Fidelina Noble

World Cup 99 Qualifying Group 15 Matchday 3

Location: Undisclosed Stadium, Undisclosed city, Cardenao
Attendance: ??,???

55% - Possession - 45%
10 - Shots - 8
3 - Shots on Target - 4
11 - Corners - 7
9 - Fouls - 7

Cardenao 1 – 2 Eastfield Lodge

Nécib (18’) ___ Lysander (38')
__________ Noble (78')

Yvonne Mersiades’ Eastfield Lodge bounce back from a shock defeat at home to Île de Richelieu with a comeback victory against fourth seeds Cardenao thanks to goals from Paisley Lysander and Fidelina Noble.

The last international weekend saw a chaotic start to Mersiades’ second World Cup qualifying campaign at the helm of the Imperial Commonwealth, where 18 goals were scored across two qualifying matches, as well as two red cards in the opening match resulting in suspensions contributing to Eastfield Lodge’s shocking defence at home to the third seeds. This international break sees the Imperial Commonwealth face off against a lowly Woodsmere side, but first, they had to face fourth seeds Cardenao, a nation that have fallen down the rankings in the last few years. With captain Harun Farrow still suspended following his straight red card in the opening match, Mersiades has opted to start Vivian Winter-Lula in his place, the Royal Jam midfielder being included in the hopes of providing more defensive stability, but the team was otherwise the same as that which narrowly beat Estorvipa and Estorpiva in the opening match.

In stark comparison to the events of the opening weekend, this match turned out to be a much more controlled affair in both the defensive and disciplinary departments, with neither side really committing to an attack in the opening few minutes - the first clear cut chance came from the hosts in the 17th minute, with ChuChu Hernandez forcing a full length dive from Amin Horak with a smart shot from the edge of the box. However, Cardenao would break the deadlock from the resultant corner, with Kiko Necib beating Zakaria Webber at the near post to head the opener past Horak. That lead was nearly doubled five minutes later, as Necib latched onto a clearance and rounded Horak in the Eastfielder box, only for his tame effort to be cleared off the line by Webber. The visitors’ first shot on target came around the half hour mark, with Boet Caceres striking a curling effort from the corner of the box off the top of the bar, but that period of Eastfield Lodge dominance on the pitch continued, with Noble dragging a through ball across the face of the goal, before Lysander levelled proceedings on the rebound after Fedele Lenti inadvertently turned a low cross goal bound and off the post.

The visitors almost took the lead on the stroke of half-time, with Diana Kirkup popping up on the edge of the box unannounced and firing a low drive straight at Kai Chidubem in the Cardenao net. However, a sense of unease followed heading into half-time as Amin Horak was suddenly forced to signal for a physio, pulling up with what appeared to be a groin issue - he was patched up for the remaining portion of the first half but was replaced at half time by RGS keeper Yuvin O’Sullivan. The second half began in much the same way as the first, neither side really carving open any clear cut chances until the first round of substitutions occurred, with Roberto Sendoa nearly making an immediate impact as he played a spectacular splitting pass into Dimitri Micalizo who could only find the side netting from five yards out. Daisi Hackett nearly made it a second for the visitors shortly after the hour mark, the substitute finding herself unmarked at a free kick but unable to divert the inswinging cross either side of Chidubem.

The deadlock was broken later in the second half though, and it came very much against the run of play, as a poorly struck Cardenao free kick allowed Sundus Gebo-McGraw to carry the ball forward effectively unchallenged, before a square ball across to Noble allowed the Olympia striker to put the Imperial Commonwealth ahead. The visitors nearly made it three as Noble once again broke through on the counter, only for her shot to roll narrowly wide of the post after Chidubem came out and closed the angles much more proactively. In the end though, hosts Cardenao offered little further threat of an equaliser, and Mersiades’ side secured a second win in three games - along with results elsewhere, leaves group 15 in a very precarious state, as Tikariot lead on 7 points ahead of four sides tied on two wins apiece. Next up for Eastfield Lodge will be Woodsmere, who are surprisingly another side on 6 points following their shock win over Ile de Richelieu.

---

WC99Q MD4: Eastfield Lodge 3–0 Woodsmere
Line-up (4-2-3-1): O’Sullivan - Duncan-Berntsen, Kaber, Strong, Karson - Winter-Lula (<> Blomqvist 63’), Farrow - Gebo-McGraw, Hackett (<> Wraight 63’), Allred (<> Scripps 70’) - Holdsworth (<> Ahmed 70’)
Goals (Assists): Holdsworth (1’ - Allred, 67’ - Kaber), Gebo-McGraw (41’ - Karson)
[u]Headline: Woodsmere defence held off Holdsworth for half a minute

Likely line-up to play Brigantii (4-2-3-1):
O’Sullivan - Guillou, Fawcett-Ferrand, Boyd, St Cleer - Farrow, Mirzadeh - Allred, Fredrich, Scripps - Ahmed
Suspended: N/A
Injured: N/A

[The Osnari Federation]

You switch on the TV. FSN (Federation Sports Network) is already on, saving you the light mental labor of having to flip through the channels after a long work day. You try to remember what it was you had been watching last - ah! The Xanneria match. Bit disappointing, that one, to be completely honest. That kid Schefer had played pretty well in goal but the defense had let him down, giving Xanneria an easy goal. Lucky that Werner Werren knotted it at one in the 74th, at least, to claim the point. Xanneria were supposed to be highly-ranked, but they weren’t performing too well in these qualifiers. Anyway. The show was looking interesting. The main host, looking dapper in his gray suit and green tie with well-groomed blonde hair and beard… Stefan Senger was his name? You figure that’s probably right. Regardless, he was speaking to another man who was calling in from an office filled with sports books, among which was Craziness Encouraged by Simeone di Bradini. The name sounds vaguely familiar -

“... well, we’re one third of the way through qualifying and the results have been interesting so far to say the least. Leo, you’ve been following this team all the way, and you were at the Osnarstadion for the last two matches if I remember right? What do you have to say about those?”

“I have to say, Stefan, that Zwangzug match was miserable. For every match so far at the Osnarstadion, the crowd has shown up, and there’s been a good bit of home-field advantage there that the Eagles have just completely squandered. Against Zwangzug, we say small mistakes cost the team points, and the offense never really got going. Just a rough performance all around.”

“Certainly, certainly. What do you make of the decision by Nathan Held to trot out Babacar Spahn late in the second half?”

Here, Leo chuckled a bit.

“Look, Babacar is a great guy, a bit goofy. You’ve seen the interviews and all that. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a backup defender refer to himself in the third person, [more laughing] he’s really something. But really? At a time when we need to be shoring up that defense, Babacar is not the guy I’d want in there. Not my favorite decision by Nathan Held, though I’m sure he has his reasons for it.”

“Absolutely agree with you there. I mean, plenty of solid players ready to go in that lineup too. I don’t see how you go with Spahn over Biefer or even Irmiger for that substitution. Really a bit baffling.”

“Agreed. Perhaps Nathan Held is looking to rest his guys up, the Qualifiers are quite a long tournament after all, and when you’re already down two… maybe justifiable, at least until he gives up that goal to Regins-Ybou late in the match.”

“Very fair, Leo, very fair. Well, that was the first of two matches in the homestand. What do you make of Xanneria?”

“Honestly, it was just as bad. Yeah, Xanneria are ranked pretty high, but look at their form. They’re punching well below their weight so far. They haven’t even put together a roster yet! So yeah I’d say, putting up only one goal on Xanneria at home and leaving with a draw, the Eagles shit the bed a little bit there.”

“That might be a bit harsh, don’t you think, Leo? I mean, Xanneria’s ranked in the 80s in the world last I checked. Surely picking up a point against them is solid work.”

“Look, Stefan, I’m looking at this year’s form here. Xanneria clearly aren’t in the form that got them to that rank, and I’m being realistic here. The Eagles should be able to go and beat Xanneria, and anything else is a disappointing result.”

“I can see that, I suppose. I do have to move on a bit here - we’re now a third of the way through qualifying. How does the road look to you?”

“I like the next set of matches for sure. Kaumann away and Unitarnia at home; that should be six points right there. Definitely a bit of pressure, though, since if the Eagles drop points there, I’m not sure where they can find them. But if they can pull it off, that looks really good for the team and then you’re likely looking at a team much closer to qualification.”

“To be clear, we know qualification isn’t the goal, right?”

“Oh, absolutely not. But it’s the dream, you know? And a big performance could get the team close. It’s definitely doable. I mean just look at Edsmontik. They qualified in their first cycle, and it catapulted them to being one of the world’s best teams.”

“Ah. Very true, very true. What about the specific players, what have you thought of them so far? Any standouts to you, Leo?”

“Very much so. This young midfield core has been incredible, Stefan. Raik Nagel has played incredibly well in blowing up opposing attacks and earned some well-deserved recognition for that. Liam Homberger has played very well too, obviously that Flavovespia goal was really something special for the kid and he’s really carried that forward well.”

“Last question, Leo. Any thoughts on the Hias Schefer vs Loris Rosli dilemma?”

“Obviously, it’s tricky. Nathan Held has two very good keepers there. Schefer didn’t play so well in the Baptism of Fire but in his comeback match this last time out against Xanneria he played quite solid. Rosli had been something of the opposite. He was great in the Baptism of Fire but hasn’t played great so far in qualifiers. I think Nathan Held did a smart thing putting Schefer in, but we’ll see if it continues.”

“Alright, thank you for joining us on the show today, Leo.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“Next up! Massive turnover in the Eliteliga recently as [unintelligible] announced…”

You trail off into sleep.

[Jeruselem]

CONTAINS AI Images

Starting image


Cuts to live image

Naked News Jeruselem's Princess Alice Stella Dallas (naked) and a woman with Silver hair wearing a Silver coloured business suit after losing to Valentine Z at Dazza Dallas Stadium, Jeruselem.

Alice:
Hey, I'm still here at Dazza Dallas Stadium. Yes I have finished talking about what happened here today and just to recall, we lost 4-2 to Valentine Z. The other results, I have already discussed earlier today in an earlier broadcast. Now, people are curious about the music broadcast at the stadium during our live matches. Well it is not done by some weird AI, but an actually person - err this person. She's DJ Silverfox. Strangely her first name is actually Alice, there's a lot of Alices round here:

DJ: Hi everyone
Alice: This is not your regular job, is it?
DJ: No, I have a regular gig somewhere else but that's normal for being DJ. I have a lot of side jobs
Alice: People just don't see you at work during the game.
DJ: No, they don't need to. It's a football game, it's about them and not me.
Alice: You still bother to dress up like you're a live gig

DJ: Well, it's kinda cold where I am working anyway so I can't exactly work naked - like you.
Alice: That's OK, I'm used to it now. It was bit too cold this morning. Every game, the music seems totally different.
DJ: I actually choose the music based on who is the visiting team so every game has different music.
Alice: In theory, someone could program an AI do the same job.
DJ: I've actually played with these systems and the results are really weird. I'll stick to what I know best.
Alice: So in effect you're trying to tailor the music to what you think the visiting team would like

DJ: I try, doesn't always turn out like that. Some places, we know like zero about which makes it difficult.
Alice: Well you're doing a better job that we're doing at trying to qualify at the moment.
DJ: I guess there's nothing I can do help there
Alice: I take it most of the time, you work at night.
DJ: It is a nocturnal job so I don't see much sunshine most of the time. But for World Cup games, I actually get to work daylight hours.
Alice: We don't do night football games.

DJ: I got no time for night football games anyway
Alice: Now, your Mum worked in nightclubs.
DJ: Yeah, of course day she probably got a little drunk and the result was me.
Alice: No shame in that, I sometimes get too drunk. Well maybe more than sometimes.
DJ: Good thing I don't drink a lot, it's not good for you anyway.
Alice: Well I assume you're going to be here for qualification day 8 when Juvencus visit and then three more away games until we host Busoga Islands here.

DJ: Don't worry, I'll be here when I'm needed.
Alice: You know DJ Cherry Pie?
DJ: Oh yes, her. The one who's barely dressed most of the time, well legally - just. I did find out she's related to your family.
Alice: I think she's related to player Cherryl Dallas
DJ: Both are really short, you're on the short side.
Alice: I could pass for a schoolgirl if dressed correctly. Sometimes people think I'm a daughter not the wife. Well, that's all the time we have for now. Next time we're back here at Dazza Dallas Stadium, she'll be back on the job delivering the music. She's not some AI doing the work, a real person. Not a person using AI either.

DJ: Speaking of AI, that AI bot on your web site is way too much like you.
Alice: I suppose that happens when you train it on thousands of videos of yourself
DJ: Explains why
Alice: We did have remove it's exhibitionist behaviour before releasing it.
DJ: I'm not surprised

[Indusse]

Hind Tribune
Cicada Fever

By Subrato Shahla

A new wave is sweeping across Indusse and this time it is not just about football. While the national team continues its World Cup qualification campaign with growing confidence, the country is also witnessing the meteoric rise of Cica.da, a Dantopian based social media platform that is taking over the nation's social media universe. From celebrities to commonfolk, journalists to mediahouses, everyone seems to be buzzing around Cica.da.

Cica.da has rapidly found its foundation in Indusse, forming out a space as the go to platform for short updates, photos, and real-time commentary. What sets it apart is its sleek and minimalist design combined with its modern customization features, all while respecting user privacy. Its popularity has soared to such an extent that the government institutions, top media houses and celebrities have create an account. From movie stars posting behind-the-scenes pictures to footballers sharing their travel playlists and training snaps, it has turned into a larger replacement for twii.tur. Almost every major news outlet in Indusse now maintains an active Cica.da handle, pushing out realtime news, live match updates, breaking alerts, and links to opinion pieces. The platform is slowly evolving to be vital during major national events including sports.

Meanwhile as the campaign goes on, the Indussean national football team is in their best in seasons, giving fans more reasons to stay glued to their screens. The most recent matchdays (MD5 and MD6) delivered a rollercoaster of emotions. First came the thrilling 3–3 draw against current champions Flavovespia which was a match where both sides went toe-to-toe, giving out blows and goals in a display of complte attacking. While fans were disappointed not to secure all three points, the team showed that they could keep the play to themselves even if its a big team that side. Then came a dominant and wondeful performance in MD6, where Indusse destroyed United Hawkland 5–1 away from home. It was one of the most complete performances by the national side in recent years. The team played with confidence, formation, and a hungre that thrilled fans and silenced critics.

This match showed the depth in the squad and the effectiveness of the team’s tactical preparation. The players looked sharper, fitter, and more mentally resilient than in previous qualification cycles, perhaps it is a result of the internal reforms and selection overhauls that the Indusse Football Association (IFA) has hinted at in recent months. The IFA President and former Captain Baskar H Kumar has said that there will be a change in the national camp for sure even if the team gets to qualify for the World Cup.

---

Chirps of the Day

poi.in

1d

This is the official cica.da account for Indussean Presidential Office. I urge every Indusseans to use cica.da as their preffered social media handle. I have been a long time user of twit.tur but this seems to be more modern and responsive. #indusse #switchtocicada #bk10

---

goi.in

19h

Taking the above chirp into consideration, This shall be the official cica.da handle for the Government of Indusse. Let this be the start of a change in technology. #indusse #switchtocicada

dabaskarkumar_10

12h

No one knows how long i can access @poi.in and so here i am with my own cica.da handle! Everything in here would be my opinion as an individual and not as the President of this wonderful nation.

theog.mersias

10h

Reporting from WC99 Camp! Let's go Indusse! #forcaindusse #indussewc99

[Banija]

MD 5-6 cutoff (late) for groups 11-15.

Pasarga's RP below counts as part of the MD5-6 cutoff

[Pasarga]

Thor was feeling a bit of consternation as he was reviewing the first two international weekends of this World Cup Qualifiers, as though the Wanderers had yet to be beaten, they were fare from playing up to their best. Two wins and two draws was an adequate set of results but that the draws were coming against some of the worst teams in the group was quite concerning, especially as the offense had more or less completely vanished out of his team. The latter was a problem that vexed him greatly, he prided himself on his team's ability to have offensive thrust and to have an attacking flair that not only was easy on the eye but put opposing teams under pressure and forced them to make mistakes. Those mistakes would then benefit his team, so long as they have the clinical finishing to take advantage of the mistakes when the opportunities presented themselves, the sort of finishing that was lacking from the team right now despite some very talented attacking talent. Solving that riddle was going to give him indigestion, how do you tell a team to simple be more clinical in front of net when you knew they were already trying their best to do so.

If this was a one off issue, it would not be troubling him as much as it was, but it was much the same during the last qualification cycle where the team's finishing would simply disappear for matches at a time and resulted in them dropping points against teams that they were far more talented than. These few games were much the same way, though at least two of the teams had set up in a defensive shell with ten men behind the ball and had dared the Wanderers to try and unlock them, which they failed to do including in the last game out away from home. Normally it was defensive frailties that would be at the heart of the Wanderers issues and why they were historically and more currently inconsistent in their performances and results, lacking offensive punch was a newer issue. Even switching back from a single striker system to a two striker system had yet to truly solve the issue and there was work to be done to fix it but the question ever remained on the how to do it. If Thor did not manage to solve the conundrum quickly though, the team risked getting left behind in the group, a group they were expecting to finish in the top two in.

[Ko-oren]

Project Wiki: Geography

Ko-oren is an archipelago located in northwestern Anaia. The largest island ('the mainland') spans 83% of the total landmass of the country, with the next largest island, Leleja, taking up just 7.5%.

The archipelago is long and fractal, with the mainland having a northeastern, southeastern, and southwestern 'arm' protruding from the middle. Two chains of islands stretches out from the northeastern arm, one continuing on to the northeast, one to the southeast, and a further chain envelops the southwestern arm. The stretched out nature of the landmass causes Ko-oren to have a very wide diversity of landforms, ecosystems, and climates.

Physical features

Two mountainous areas can be seen clearly in the altitude map. The western range, forming the backbone of the largest part of the mainland, consisting of the Wuritharanau range and the Sorentharanau range, and the northern range, the Hemauniguth. The Wuritharanau is arranged roughly north-south and contains the highest peaks of the area, whereas the Sorentharanau (west-east, hugging the north coast) is more a plateau. The Hemauniguth contains the highest peaks of the country.

The northeastern islands have some elevation extremes as well, while the southeastern islands are hilly in places but never steep. On the mainland, there is a smaller range of hills (Hothikaudha) where the northeastern branch connects to the rest of the mainland. The larger southeastern branch has two discernable hill ranges (collectively named Haunigonau), enclosing a large valley. The southeastern branch ends in a longer curved group of hills, called the Eshipathau.

Large flat areas are mostly found on the large bay between the northeastern and southeastern mainland branches, as well as in between the Haunigonau hills, but the largest low-lying plateau is found in the southwest, which is below sea level in parts. This is where the population is mostly concentrated.

Generally, the windward (rainy) side is the northwest, and the leeward (dry) side is the southeast.

The seas around Ko-oren are divided in name by the island chains protruding from the mainland. The largest coastline, the northern and western one, is on the Mahr Salamantikau (Salamantic Sea), in which only three sizeable rivers are emptied out. The southern coastline touches the Mahr Aijau (Ocean of Ayes), the coastline between the northeastern and southeastern islands is on the Mahr Selesialau (Celestial Ocean).

The largest lake in Ko-oren is located in the northwest, named Sathonga. It is a meteor crater, enlarged and smoothed by erosion. Concentrations of lakes can also be found along the Hothikaudha in the centre-north, in between the peaks of Hemauniguth, and in the valley between the Haunigonau hilly ranges. The southwestern area below sea level also has many smaller lakes.

The longest rivers of the country start in the Wuritharanau and empty out in the Ocean of Ayes or the Bay. Ordered by length, these are the Agamina (Ayes), Eidikuna (Bay), Obadha (Bay), Jagari (Hemauniguth to Salamantic), Argahr (Ayes), Irisontha (Bay), Ganthewi (Ayes).

Landscape

The southeastern branch of the mainland ends in the country's only large arid zone, the Gahrugkothis desert. Wetlands can be found in several areas, most notably the Thorunohn national park (southeastern branch), large parts of Mauroren and Orental (southwestern branch and areas south of the Wuritharanau mountain range) that extend into the sub-sea level plains. Forest covers large parts of the country, with the hills and mountain ranges' offshoots especially so. Temperate rainforests are found in Ehlenor (southwest, to the west of the Wuritharanau range) and cover most of the islands of Sohlatal and Leleja (the two southernmost of the southeastern islands). Steppe areas are found along the northern coast, as well as to the south of the Hemauniguth mountain range.

Plate tectonics

The mountains are formed by ongoing activity. Ko-oren lies on the Ayes Plate, which is slowly pushed up by the colliding, oceanic, Salamantic Plate. Ko-oren is volcanic in its origin, explaining the shape of the landmass and the location of mountains and hills.

Climate

As said, Ko-oren is home to many climates. Most of the nation is temperate/oceanic, though large parts of the central-western mainland have continental climates, as does part of the lower lying northeastern region. Tropical climates are found on Sohlatal and Leleja islands, though part of Leleja has a warm temperate climate. Dry climates are only found in Gahrugkothis and the furthest part of the southeastern mainland branch. Polar climates are found on the highest parts of the mountain ranges, as well as the northernmost island.

In general, there are nine combinations of climate and weather regions. The cold tundra encapsulates the northeastern islands and parts of the northeastern branch. Here, the average daily high temperature is 3°C, ranging from -9 on the coldest days to +7 on the warmer days. There are often 150+ rainy days in a year. The moderate tundra area is most of the rest of the northeastern branch, where the average daily high temperature is 8°C and there are around 50 rainy days in a year. The daily high temperature may climb above 0 even in winter, and summer temperatures of 20+ are frequent.

The cool precipitious area is found on the west coast and on the southwestern branch. Temperatures are similar to the moderate tundra region (though a little milder, both in summer and winter extremes) though precipitation falls up to 230 days per year.

Cool maritime is the remainder of the north and Alahrenna island (northernmost eastern island). The average daily high temperature is 11°C. Not every winter night has subzero temperatures and summer temperatures run as high as 30. Precipitation is frequent (130-150 days a year). The moderate maritime region consists of Ethena (the second eastern island) and the entire rest of the Bay, until the dry Gahrugkothis desert. The daily average high temperature is 18°C, with around 100 precipitation days, infrequent subzero winter temperatures, summer temperatures running up to about 30-35, and the area is famous for not cooling down much on summer nights. The moderate inland region overlaps with the continental climate zones, where the average daily high temperature runs up to 17°C, with up to 100 precipitation days per year, and temperatures below zero for the coldest month, but also infamous for sweltering summers of up to 40°C. Warm maritime is found on the south coast, with 22°C daily average high temperatures, around 100 days of precipitation per year, where subzero temperatures do not occur every year, but 40 degree summer days can be expected several times each year.

Hot maritime/tropical weather is found on Sohlatal and Leleja, with a daily high average temperature of 30°C, around 170 days of precipitation, with little variation between summer and winter. Winter days range between 20 and 30 degrees (though hotter days occur) and summer days range from 30 to 40. In truly high humidity situations, temperatures cannot rise higher than around 35 degrees, but on the coast, it happens. Lastly, the hot desert region is entirely Gahrugkothis, where there are few (~30) days of precipitation, the daily average high temperature is 32°C, winter temperatures can drop unexpectedly to 15 degrees, but summer temperatures are famous for reaching as high as 45 in remote, inland parts of the desert.

Natural disasters

As the mountain ranges are formed by plate tectonics, both earthquakes and volcanoes occur in Ko-oren. Earthquakes are numerous around the northwest coast, though often small in magnitude. Volcanic activity happens more towards the northern end of the mountains and the northeastern islands. The last explosive eruption happened in the Aevarea (far northeastern islands) some three centuries ago, while effusive eruptions happen every decades along most of the Haunigonau and northeastern islands.

Where warm and cold air meet in the southeast and the southeastern islands, storms and lightning are frequent, but seasonal.

Ko-oren is not particularly prone to droughts or fires. There is no ongoing desertification of the Gahrugkothis. Snowstorms may occur seasonally in the mountains and the northeast, in particular along the windward (northern) side.

[Gnejs]

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!

Come gather around you children of spring and let us again continue the tale of how The Prosaic Union of Gnejs ceased to be.

There was now little doubt about that one star twinkling just a tad bit too intensely on the night sky as former Senior Advisor, Landsman and Faux Assassin, but now unemployed drifter, Øystein Øye came back on a pilgrimage of sorts to his ancestral home of fair Vengerberg in the western parts of The Prosaic Union. Lionrock, some have subsequently pointed to as the star that turned out to be a harbinger of much death and sorrow. A solitary star and evolving subgiant in the constellation of Aquarius, it radiates with a yellow hue due to its temperature at over 5 000 kelvin! Named after an ancient rock formation with a peculiar shape, it would indeed make some sort of poetic sense if it would be the one acting as The Prosaic Union’s own ominous morning star. To be sure, the ground also very much trembled (with malicious intent) on that day, and this was definitely noticeable for anyone paying attention. Of course, paying attention was never Øystein Øye’s strong suit. But I digress.

Some of you might remember Øystein from his prominent part in other tales of yore, such as leaving his wife and kids for a pirate’s life on the seventy-seven seas with the crude Baggie crew of HMS Onslaught, or his part in ending the shady dealings of The Dual Lodge cabal. Or perhaps these stories passed you by, like so many of the stories thrown out into the multiversal ether? Sad. However, in terms of the tale of how The Prosaic Union ceased to be, it matters little; you are here now and let us press forward.

The recent years had not been kind to Øystein Øye. Sure, he recovered from the deep mourning brought on by the divorce between him and Hannah (perhaps too swiftly, according to some), lovingly aided by Connie the serving wench, whom he subsequently married in a skanky and rum-soaked ceremony presided over by the Guru Beth Rati Pumba. Named an honorary Rear Admiral at the Tavern HMS Gnejs in the Baggieland archipelago, Øye spent years working as director of operations for HMS Onslaught, telling the crew which Baggie ferries to attack and so on. He shared child custody with Hannah, and every other week Captain Fletcher reluctantly collected and returned the children, making him and the Onslaught a crucial part of Hannah and Øye’s everyday logistics. These were good years. But then it happened again. Just like how Øystein had once abandoned his wife, children, cat and vocation as Senior Advisor at the Ministry for Culture, Sports and Other Charitable Activities to live out his dream of being a pirate, and just how he had abandoned his life as Landsman and pirate on HMS Onslaught to train as an assassin only to then re-train as DoO, he once again grew restless and his mind started to wonder.

This time it was his age-old dream of becoming a professional football player that reared its ugly head. So one day, when a bearded stranger in a tophat and monocle walked into HMS Gnejs and dazzled Øystein with tales of the mountains of shillings to be made as a footballer in a league some place Øystein had never heard of and could hardly pronounce, a devastating seed was planted. It all happened so fast, and one day Connie the serving wench found a letter - typical Øystein! - proclaiming that her husband had decided to defect from their marriage and life to pursue his secret dream of playing the beautiful game somewhere farfaraway. Øystein made a semi-serious effort to achieve his dream, including laying off the rum and shaving his legs, but in a surprising turn of events he never did manage to make it as a professional footballer. He never found that fabled land of shillings, but instead ended up in the valleys of a secluded mountain state where everything was very verwirrend and when he finally did pull off getting hired by a second-tier team he was mostly relegated to the reserves because his favored position of libero had become utterly obsolete due to the development of zonal marking and offside traps. Øystein spent the following years working as a garbage collector, stevedore, stock handler, bagger, offbearer, freight handler, vehicle washer and general equipment packager, among other things. Getting by but going nowhere.

I don’t know why he decided to return to The Prosaic Union. Perhaps the Old Land was calling to him, I’ve heard that happens sometimes with middle-aged men that have not accomplished much of note in their life. Whatever the reason, Øystein Øye returned to his ancestral home of fair Vengerberg to settle down. He had never been to Vengerberg before, for he had grown up and lived his life on the outskirts of Briskeby on the eastern coast; it truly was his ancestors that had lived out here in the northwest. Perhaps you’ve heard of Oddstein Øye and the prominent part he played in the tale of how Baggieland got a Rock Friendship? No? Haven’t heard of that one either? Oh well, no matter. There was definitely a sort of timeless charm about fair Vengerberg - nestled between rolling hills and deep woods - with its cobblestone streets and asymmetrical clusters of colorful wooden houses. A village square here, a peaceful graveyard with generations of villagers resting there. The local inn, the local pub, the local barber, the local pharmacy; a hearty meal and resilient folks, oh fair Vengerberg!

Alas, something was amiss. The smile on widow Andersson was not as warm as it used to be, Councilman Frej walked with a furrowed brow and little Agnes was crying more intensely than usual. There was no water in the fountain on the town square and no produce in the stalls on the farmer’s market. Vengerberg’s famous roses had all withered away, and a sizable share of the livestock had died. The atypical sour mood and concerning state of things was lost on Øystein, who was rather feeling invigorated by walking the streets and alleys of his ancestors, alert with the sense of finally having come home. The recent developments instead favored his prospects because the town was in dire need of people helping out with digging holes and burying all the decaying animals, and Øystein was no stranger to digging holes. So that’s what he did. He went to work digging holes and filling them with dead sheep and goats and cows and the occasional dog or squirrel. He was content, and stayed content for the remainder of his days, which of course were numbered.

[Kanzlia]

Kanzlia draws 1-1 against Crpostran in nosey affair
Though Karl Schmidt's men may have been running riot in Group 8, they still had the monumental task of facing Crpostran in an away fixture. The Sapphire Strikers are having an abysmal start to their qualification campaign, yet securing a win after 4 games. Thus the Prowlers have to face the brunt of a stacked Crpostran team determined to change fortunes. And with the backing of the Talon Troops, the game in the newly inaugurated Valeria Sports City Stadium will be a hard fought one regardless of form.

The deafening roar of the stadium was clearly felt by the players as they were in awe walking out of their dressing room. A sea of blue and yellow overwhelms the view as the game went underway. The match turned out to be a cagey affair with both sides determined to kick things off with a bang. A well executed kick-off routine from the hosts would've bagged Crpostran a sub-minute goal if it weren't for Sjoerd Madzer lunging in from behind. Crpostrans corner was quickly cleared and Sylverio van Coevorden found himself one-on-one with Hugo Dubois. The 1899 Szbedansk winger dribbled past the goalkeeper, leaving the net wide open. Sylverio would seemingly forget he's not in a crossbar challenge as he hit exactly that. The first half would go on and on like this, it had to be a spectacle for the neutrals but heart clenching for those with allegiances. All in all, 5 shots on target from both teams was taken in the first half. None found the back of the net.

In the second half Karl Schmidt took a more lenient approach. He added an extra defender, Maarten Berger, to solidify the backline which clearly backfired as the 21 year old was dispossessed by Felix Joel who calmly slots past Rick Zijlstra in the 47th minute. The stadium ripped apart, the cheers of many thousands Crpostranis shook the stadium. It was panic mode for the Prowlers ever since, whose defenders were on trench warfare duties whilst their wingers was desperately shooting long. A sense of calm was restored with the introduction Patriano Pisaric who played as a false-9. He was able to let Reiner van Coevorden take advantage of the space Pisaric created by dragging forward Lefevre. Reiner would slot the ball into the top corner in the 70th, but the referee wasn't blind at the fact that he elbowed James Reynolds to get the space he needed for the shot. Reiner was shown a yellow for the offence, and given a second for arguing with the referee for it. The stadium roared when the red card was shown as Reiner has probably made an enemy of the entire Talon Troops. The game entered into renewed heated tension as the home crowd chanted louder and louder, they could feel their long awaited first victory of the campaign at the grasp, one they felt had come way too late.

4 minutes of stoppage time was given and the game was cagier than ever. Any tactical structure from both sides devolved into a game of long balls. Rick Zijlstra was thankful he had perhaps two of Kanzlia's burliest men infront of him as they made no issue dealing with Crpostran's long balls. Ardentius van Coevorden got hold of the ball and rifled it long to his brother Sylverio. Sylverio took long enough to dribble past William Turner, because by the time he did so, the entire Crpostran roster was at their box. With quite literally no choice, he had to pass back to Christian Bagheria who first-times his cross. The cross was rifled, and glaringly thoughtless, but it was heading into the box. Pisaric and Lefevre (and several others) made a run to reach the ball as it falls down to earth. As they wrestle each other, the ball struck the crossbar, deflecting right into Pisaric's nose. Hugo Dubois was left in awe as Pisaric's nose slots the ball past him in the 92nd minute. The celebrations ensued with Pisaric's nose broken and face bloodied. The rest of the game was cagey, but thankfully for the Prowlers nothing came of it.

The Prowlers leaves the match with a hard fought point and a broken nose. The Sapphire Strikers were visibly annoyed at the late draw, but spared their frustrations on the pitch as many of them stayed on the pitch to talk with the Kanzlian players. Notably Ulixes Kotr player Klahan Wahid was chatting around with his fellow teammates after the game.

"It was a near-run thing." said Karl Schmidt, "Let's just hope Pisaric's nose won't rule him out of the campaign."

CRPOSTRAN - KANZLIA
1 - 1
1-0 F. Joel 47'
RED R.v. Coevorden 70'
1-1 P. Pisaric 90+2'

[Pakhomiya]

THE SPORTS

The Glorious and Free Liberal-Democratic Republic of Pakhomiya started it's path to the World Cup 99. The Revolutionary Ministry of Sports had set the highest target for the toughest Pakhomiyan Footballers - qualify for the World Cup. Even if it is the first ever campaign against the capitalist states, with enough willpower and knowledge of Pakhomism and the works of Pakhomiy I, every hardship could be successfully passed. In the loss againt Kwrpania 3-6 on a first matchday that was played away, the glorious Pakhomiyan footballers showed a decent performance despite the score. The problem is that the westerners don't want to see the successes of truly independent and prosperous nation that is successfully resist their capitalism. And because of that, in the Pakhomiyan away matches, the referees are doing everything to make Pakhomiya lose. After the first half the score was 2-2, reflecting the high class of the Pakhomiyan players. But at the second half, the referee intentionally started to make mistakes in the favor of Kwrpania. For example, when the score was 2-5, he didn't award a penaly kick to the Pakhomiyan players, being afraid that if our Anton Dvachevskiy would score it, the Pakhomiyan comeback would be inevitable.

The other situation awaited at the home match against Tevuekk at The Great and Eternal President Pakhomiy I Stadium in Gauptvakhtinsk. Pakhomiyans easily achieved a victory, 2-1, thanks to two goals from Obamnikov. And the referees didn't make any mistakes here, like in away games.

The Great and Eternal President Pakhomiy I Stadium, Gauptvakhtinsk. Capacity: 77,777.

The next two games against Valentine Z and Sudilia were played away again. A shameful result was acheived in those games, two losses with the scores of 2-6 and 0-3. Even with the continuous referee mistakes, the Pakhomiyan players perfomance was shameful and weak. The players forgot that they are representing the Great and Free country, and after they returned to the Glorious Pakhomiya, they recieved the deserved punishment from ideological coach, colonel Sergey Zarubin. All players went in a basement, where Zarubin ordered them to sing and perform the traidional dance "Yablochko" for three hours. "Yablochko" is not the easiest dance to perform, and not everyone was able to endure the punishment. 18-year old Vyacheslav Sychev, 23-year old Pakhomoslav Kuznetsov and 22-year old Kim Epifannikov passed out from this. Those weaklings don't deserve the place in the national team and they were not present in the squad for matchdays 5 and 6. The recording of the punishment was shown on the Pakhomiyan State Television in the evening.

Colonel Sergey Zarubin (in centre) forces Dementiy Gryaznoshtannikov (left) to sing and dance intensivly, as a punishment for conceding 9 goals in 2 games. National team head coach Epifaniy Kallistratov (right) was punished the same way together with players.

On the next morning, all team members were forced to run 15 kilometers with 20 kg backpack on their shoulders, as a part of the training. Almost everyone managed to successfully run this distance in the time that was set by the colonel Zarubin, but Mukhin, Bugurtov, Kupriyanov and Slonovskiy failed to do this and arrived later. They were given 10 painful lashes as a punishment from the colonel Zarubin himself.

The Pakhomiyan system of training is the best system of training in the world! Those exersises worked perfectly and helped Pakhomiyan players to discover their strengths! In the next two matchdays, Pakhomiya gained 4 points, defeating Quackmybush 2-1 and drawing 3-3 with Juvencus, a team from the first pot! Glory to the People's Free Liberal-Democratic Republic of Pakhomiya!