World Cup 99 - RP Thread

by **Banija** » Sun May 11, 2025 11:13 am

Logo designed by the Kytler Peninsulae

The Siovanija & Teusland Football Association, joined by the Royal Banijan Soccer Association, and Squornshelan Confederate Football Association, welcome you all to World Cup 99!

Roleplay Thread

WC99 Roleplay | WC99 Rosters | WC99 Results
World Cup 99 Signups | KPB+ Rankings | Party's Like It's 99 Host Bid
Sponsorships | Concert | Friendlies | Discussion
World Cup 98 | Cup of Harmony 91 | Baptism of Fire 86
Guide to Sports Roleplaying, and General sport RP questions

This is where you should post your roleplays, whether they be multi-part epics, short-but-sweet journal entries, or anything else that you might come up with. We'll be adding information regarding the schedule, group draws, and anything else we deem necessary to this post as the tournament progresses.

Qualifying Format - There will be 15 groups of 10- one nation from each pot in each group. the top 3 nations in each group (45 total) will qualify for the World Cup Finals- there will be no qualifying playoffs.

Finals Groups

Group A

55 Drawkland
17 Siovanija and Teusland
21 Commonwealth of Baker Park
35 Audioslavia

Group B

34 HOT-DAMN
16 Eastfield Lodge
09 Farfadillis
56 Captina Island

Group C

18 Pasarga
11 Juvencus
44 Zwangzug
28 Kamijiro

Group D

23 Eshialand
30 Vdara
08 Tikariot
94 Kwrpania

Group E

49 Kanzlia
39 Reçueçn
19 Ko-oren
20 Banija

Group F

24 West Barack and East Obama
43 Aphrilia
73 Osterhalten
02 Valanora

Group G

42 Saterun
67 Doubeia
07 Kelssek
26 Chromatika

Group H

40 Baggieland
04 Edsmontik
27 Zenic
64 United States of Nova Calania

Group I

25 HUElavia
03 Squornshelan Remnant States
78 The Martian Independent Republic
36 Aleirave

Group J

13 The Kytler Peninsulae
57 Cardenao
01 Flavovespia
38 Gnejs

Group K

22 StrayaRoos
109 Vixette
29 Huayramarca
05 Tanirinthia

Group L

32 Oberour Ar Moro
63 Pyazhnaya
10 Saint Eleanor
15 TJUN-ia

Scorination Info - All times in EDT, use Time zone converter.
The Squornshelan Remnant States will score Groups A-D. HIs cutoff time is 4-5 PM EDT/10-11 PM CET. ICly, these groups will be played in Siovanija & Teusland.
Siovanija & Teusland will score Groups E-H. HIs cutoff time is 7-9 PM EDT/1-3 AM CET(the next morning). ICly, these groups will be played in Banija.
Banija will score Groups I-L. My cutoff time is 10-11:59 PM EDT/4-6 AM CET(the next morning). ICly, these groups will be played in The Squornshelan Remnant States.

World Cup group stage Tiebreakers

1) H-2-H Points
2) Overall Goal Differential
3) Total Wins
4) IC coin toss (OOC RP bonus only scorination- take out rank, but include roster & RP bonus)

Knockout Stage Information

With a 48 team tournament, the top two in each group, plus the 8 best 3rd place teams, will make the knockout stages. A few principles to be followed here..

- Minimize IC travel for the host nation NTs in the Ro32
- Minimize IC travel for group winners in the Ro32
- So people know what to expect: winners of the groups with the 8 highest ranked Pot 1 teams will face 3rd place teams in the Ro32, regardless of who wins the groups. So that will be the winners of Groups B, D, F, G, H, I, J, and K. The winners of Groups A, C, E, and L will play second place teams in the Ro32. Obviously, Ro32 teams won't be paired with teams from their same groups.

Ofc, with three host nations, and just a poorly divisible number of games, there's no way to avoid IC travel/switching scorinators- it will happen to at least one team, probably multiple, between each and every knockout round. Scorinators will be clearly announced with each KO stage round, so keep an eye out for that.

Finals Calendar
June 12: Group Draw (live on Discord at 3 PM EDT/9 PM CET)
June 16: Group Stage Matchday 1(1v4, 3v2)
June 18: Group Stage Matchday 2(1v2, 4v3)
June 20: Group Stage Matchday 3(3v1, 2v4). Ro32 isn't drawn until after the last set of matches are played. Convoluted process, but 3rd place teams will play winners of groups with the top 8 ranked pot 1 teams in them(regardless of how those teams finish in their group).
June 22: Round of 32
June 24: Round of 16
June 26: Quarterfinals
June 28: Semifinals
June 30: Final/3PPO

Use of AI Policy

Violations of this policy will be subject to the harshest possible penalties. If you have questions on this, or anything is unclear, please TG me any questions you have.

#1 AI Generated images- AI generated images are fine as long as they are explicitly labeled as such.
#2 AI Generated text- AI generated text is explicitly prohibited, and any instance thereof allows the host to levy any punishment as I see fit, including but not limited to zeroing out both rank and any prior earned RP bonus.
#3 AI Translation- AI translation services into English are also fine. However, the original language text should be posted in a spoiler for transparency purposes. See a good sample RP from Huayramarca that is a perfect illustration of what I am talking about.

Other Info

As a reminder, only the host nations(Banija, Siovanija & Teusland, and the Squornshelan Remnant States) may reserve posts. Use the draft feature if you want to put down a post mid writing and finish it later.

Any OOC host announcements will be made in the World Cup Discussion Thread, so check there periodically.

This thread is ready to go, so go ahead and start posting your RPs! May the odds be ever in your favor

by **Siovanija and Teusland** » Sun May 11, 2025 11:14 am

Siovanija & Teusland - A Guide for Visitors

Understand

The United Republics of Siovanija & Teusland is a federal parliamentary republic located in southwestern Arrosia. While the country was founded after unification in 1896, the history of the nation dates back much longer. The national territory has been inhabited by Siovanijans and Teus for thousands of years, and in that time polities such as the Teus Empire gained control over the territory, and built an empire beyond its shores. Eventually, the Siovanijan people led a successful revolution to form their own nation, and following an 8 year war on the island, the country united as Siovanija & Teusland.

The nation continued to exist in relative isolation from the world for over a century thereafter, before finally entering the international stage and beginning to participate in global and regional sporting competitions, economic initiatives and geopolitical alliances. The election of an isolationist government just over a decade ago set back the nation’s progress on all fronts, but the country has since returned to the international scene as a proud member of Arrosia and eager to rebuild warm relationships with regional partners.

The two ‘brother nations,’ the Siovanijans and the Teus, of course have disputes and differences as all siblings do, however, they have enjoyed a peaceful unity for over a hundred years. The atmosphere that you will find in Siovanija (the western half of the island) and that of Teusland (the eastern half) are of course quite different. Siovanijans are largely atheist, quite independent and individualists. It is the republic itself, and its democratic liberal values, that they cherish. They are culturally quite liberal, and a night out is often to a bar or nightclub. Siovanijan cuisine is a mix of traditional dishes, mostly meat, and those from around the world. The Teus, meanwhile, are strongly Teus Catholic, quite collectivist in character and culturally more conservative. It is the Teus nation, and its long history and rich culture, that they cherish. A night out in Stelburg is often to the opera, or to gather with friends at a cafe. Teus cuisine is heavily meat-based, but also features influence from their former colonies. The biggest argument between the two, however, will always be which is better: Teus beer or Siovanijan vodka.

Getting In and Around

All citizens of nations participating in World Cup 99 are granted visa-free travel for the duration of the tournament automatically, so arriving to Siovanija & Teusland to support your nation will be a breeze! There is also a visa-free entry policy with Arrosian states.

As the country is an island nation, the only way to access the country is by air. The three biggest airports in the country are the St. Jakob International Airport, Stelburg’s Ferdinand III International Airport and Borograd Milan Dimitrov International Airport. These airports are well-equipped to handle passenger traffic, and are well-served by the national carrier Air Republika and also foreign carriers.

In recent years, the growth of budget airline HansAir has also opened up other opportunities for air travel to, from and within Siovanija & Teusland. The budget company has a hub at Reinbronn Airport, located about halfway between Stelburg and St. Jakob, while also serving important airports such as Pomorie/Marzig, Felsenkirchen and Vlaikograd. Budget airlines can also help you visit other areas of the country, such as Vrnovo or Stahlberg for access to some of the country’s natural beauty.

Once you’ve arrived in Siovanija & Teusland, getting around the country is easy. The easiest way for visitors to get around is via the well-developed national railway. TeusBahn is the national rail carrier across the country (with trains branded as TB Siovanija in Siovanija) and provides an excellent network of high-speed rail service. High-speed service is offered through TeusBahn’s Intercity Sprinter branding, while regional traffic is served under various regional brands. The most popular routes in the country are the Stelburg-St. Jakob corridor, with travel between the two cities taking about 1 hour 45 minutes, and the Stelburg-Borograd connection via the Sterzing Tunnel taking about 4 hours. Each city hosting matches at the ARC tournament is connected to the high-speed train line. In each city there also exists a subway (branded as U-Bahn) and in major cities a suburban commuter rail link (branded as S-Bahn).

It is also possible to travel by road. Rental cars are available at all major airports and at some of the biggest train stations. The A1 highway connects Borograd to Stelburg via Chernovets and the Stahlberg Pass, taking about 6 hours, before continuing along the River Drai to St. Jakob in another 3 hours. Other highways such as the A2 connect Stelburg to Felsenkirchen, the A5 running along the east coast from Felsenkirchen to St. Jakob and Kaiserhaven, and the A3 between Borograd, Vlaikograd and Pomorie-Marzig. Highways are in good condition, and beyond general rush hour congestion in major cities, you won’t need to worry about traffic outside of the Stahlberg Pass on weekends, when citizens of the city flee to the mountains for relaxation. Intercity bus travel is perhaps the least developed form of transit in the country, due to the excellent rail network, but there are good networks between Stelburg and Borograd. Naturally, regional bus routes are well developed.

See and Do

Experience the culture of Teusland’s capital, Stelburg, and its rich heritage. Sites such as St. Georg’s Cathedral, Sanssouci Palace, the Stelburg Opera House and a walk along the River Drai should be at the top of your itinerary. Make sure to also do as a local and spend time in the city’s cafes, enjoying its rich coffee & pastry culture - a Stelburger donut is a must try. The city’s museums are also a highlight, such as the Imperial Museum or the Kunstgalerie (Art Gallery). For the football fan, a visit to the FC Teussen Stelburg Museum is a must.
The Mittelgebirge mountain range is a paradise for nature lovers. Forming the dividing line between the Republic of Siovanija and the Teus Republic, its high peaks have been the subject of many works of art from the country. Go for a hike amidst beautiful mountain scenery, try to conquer one of the country’s largest mountains, or see pieces of history such as the Danneberg Castle where Teusland’s imperial family made its home. Wherever you go, you’ll be protected by the country’s mythical national animal, the Goldhorn, and see lush fields full of its most prominent national symbol, the edelweiss flower.
Borograd, the national capital, is a must-see for a slice of Siovanijan culture. The home to most of the country’s government institutions, it is a symbol of the republic and visits to the presidential residence at the Green House or the Trg Republika, home to the National Chancellery, are a must to understand the city. But Borograd is also famous for its entertainment, with plenty of hole-in-the-wall bars and restaurants becoming cult favourites. Dinner and drinks at the Beli neboticnik (‘white skyscraper’) with its terrace over the River Ljubljanica will have you falling in love with this city very quickly.
A visit to Teusland’s northeastern coast is a highlight of many visitor’s trips to the country. The city of Felsenkirchen is the hub of the region, with its Old Port and imperial-era residential areas being a highlight for visitors - and its red-light district the infamous party capital of Teusland. An hour or so away, across the Rotmunde Causeway, an engineering wonder, is the more quaint and laid-back city of Rotmunde. In between the two are miles and miles of agricultural landscapes, beaches, and the famous Rotmunde Cliffs which mark the easternmost point of Siovanija & Teusland.
While located quite far from the mainland, the city and island of Vrnovo is always a popular hit amongst tourists. Accessed by flight or ferry, Vrnovo is about 350km south of Siovanija and is home to year-round warm weather. As a result, it’s become the most popular destination in the country for beach getaways, home to many resorts as well as entertainment venues. There are also historical ruins to be visited, and the island is the home of the Siovanija & Teusland Navy’s southern fleet.
So much more! We haven’t even mentioned culturally important cities like Vlaikograd, Pomorie/Marzig or Pomen yet - nor the largest city in the country, St. Jakob. Natural wonders such as the Teufelsbergerwald (Teufelsberg Forest) or the Great Lakes of Siovanija are also things to check out while you are here!

Sleep, Eat and Drink

In every major city, including all of those hosting World Cup matches, you are spoiled for choice in terms of hotel availability. 5-star chains include the Lenowitz Group, or the Grand Southwestern brand. If you really want to spoil yourself, the Imperial Stelburg Hotel is the country’s most luxurious hotel. A better option for fans visiting the country is likely the InterCity Hotels chain, which operates in almost every city and town of the country and are usually based around central train stations and airports. Want to get away from chains? Away from the major cities, you’ll find traditional Gasthof (Teusland) and Gostilnica (Siovanija), usually offering a home-cooked meal and a comfortable room for the night. These often cannot be booked online, and are an option for the more spontaneous traveller. Of course, short-term apartment rental is available in major cities as well.

Cuisine is somewhat different between Siovanija and Teusland, however, they share major similarities. Meat is a staple - particularly beef. The meal known as a ‘hamburger’ to the outside world is a Stahlberger here, and a Marziger sausage is one of the most popular amongst the many, many different styles - and cities across the country which claim their version is the best. The only way to find out, of course, is to try it! Siovanija’s dishes are a combination of meat-based dishes, but also soups and dishes featuring various agricultural products of the local region (carrots, etc.). Teusland has its own traditional meat dishes, but also heavy influence from its former colonies - restaurants featuring food from Ryugasaki, Tsweidschugong or the Selatjaya Sultanate being the most popular. Desserts are also common - in Siovanija, potica is the most famous, while Teusland’s Ferdinandentorte, a multi-layered chocolate cake, is very popular. Pastries are common in both countries.

Siovanijans and Teus alike enjoy celebrating the end of a workday or a weekend with alcoholic beverages as well. In Teusland, beer is the drink of choice, while in Siovanija it is vodka. Teus enjoy heading to a pub or bar with family and friends, but nights tend to wrap up earlier. In Siovanija, bars are quite popular and particularly in cities like Borograd the night can very quickly turn into morning. The best nightlife destinations in the country are without a doubt Vrnovo, Felsenkirchen and Borograd. Alcohol will be available for sale at all of the stadiums used for ARC IV.

Other Practical Information

Cash or Credit? Both accepted, but cash is king
Currency: Tolar
Average Dinner at a Stelburg Restaurant: T25 (one person)
Average Beer at a Felsenkirchen Pub: T5
InterCity Hotel Nightly Rate: T85
Lenowitz Group Borograd Trg Republika Nightly Rate: T275
Train between Stelburg and Borograd (2nd class):] T30
Flight from Reinbronn to Vrnovo (HansAir): T15
Drives on the: Right
Internet access: Widespread
Temperatures: Tournament hosted during summer; average around 25 degrees celsius (in Vrnovo closer to 35)

Punctuality is extremely important in Teusland. 1:00 means 1:00, or even 12:55. This is not as much the case in Siovanija, but anything more than 5 minutes late even there is considered rude
Due to the fact that the nation has mandatory conscription/service for young people, it is quite common to see uniformed soldiers in public and the military is highly respected by the population
Controversial topics to avoid nationwide include the 1888-1895 Great War, as many citizens will have an emotional reaction to the topic. It is wise to avoid discussing ethnic politics (for example, the situation in Pomorie/Marzig) across the country. In Siovanija, it is wise to avoid discussion of religion, specifically the Teus Catholic Church, which is massively unpopular in Siovanija due to the history of Crusades. In Teusland, avoid discussing the recent period of isolation, which was widely opposed in Teusland and viewed as an attack against it.
Both Siovanijans and particularly Teus have a reputation as appearing cold. People rarely smile on the streets, and there is no such thing as small talk. However, the people of this nation are in fact warm and welcoming once you do get to know them and are excited to welcome you to our beautiful corner of the world.

Host Cities and Stadia

A total of 12 stadiums across 10 cities will play host to the World Cup tournament. We’ll provide an overview of each city and its stadiums below!

Stelburg

Population: 2.9 million
Airport: Ferdinand III International Airport
Major Train Stations: Stelburg Hauptbahnhof (main), Stelburg Ostbahnhof (secondary)

For centuries the capital of the Teus Empire, Stelburg is a city full of cultural heritage and remembrances of the glory of its past. A walk down the Marzigerchaussee towards the Teuslandplatz will have you passing by many architectural wonders of the pre-unification period, and by the time you see the Stelburger Stadtpalast before you at the north side of the Teuslandplatz, you will feel yourself transported back in time. Crossing the Kaiser-Wilhelm-III Bridge, the first to span the River Drai, you can also reach the historic Nationalplatz and its Victory Column in honour of the Teus Empire’s great military victories. The city’s rich culture can be found in its cafes, its parks along the River Drai, the palace gardens that you can stroll through, and also its historic sites. Enjoy a night at the Stelburg Opera House, or an afternoon gaze through the Kunstgalerie, for an understanding of what makes the city tick. Other main sites include Sankt Georg’s Cathedral, Sanssouci Palace, and the Imperial Museum. The majority of hotels are in the downtown core (Zentrum), but can also be found near the airport, in east Stelburg, and in the trendy district of Krutenau.

Stelburg is well connected to the rest of the country. Ferdinand III International Airport is the country’s third busiest, and Stelburg Hauptbahnhof is the 2nd busiest train station in the country. From here by train, you can reach Borograd (4hrs), St. Jakob (1h45m) and Felsenkirchen (2hrs) quite easily. Day trips to the Teufelsbergerwald (1h30m) or Stahlberg and access to the Mittelgebirge (2hrs) are also possible. Within Stelburg, the U-Bahn network connects the city while the Stelburg S-Bahn provides connections from the city to its suburbs.

Stelburg is home to 2 stadia involved in the tournament, and will host both the tournament’s opening match and one of the Semifinals. A fanzone will also be opened on the Nationalplatz in the downtown core for supporters.

Nationalstadion (90,000)

The largest stadium in the country, the Nationalstadion has been host to most of the Siovanija & Teusland national team’s biggest matches and is also home of the President’s Cup Final each year. The stadium has also played host to an AOCAF Final, and most recently the final of ARC IV. With its towering stands, a great atmosphere can be created here, and it is the iconic football stadium in the country. Located just west of downtown Stelburg, it can be accessed via U-Bahn from Stelburg Hauptbahnhof at a station specially servicing the stadium. The area around the stadium is filled with bars and restaurants for supporters. The Nationalstadion was expanded to 90,000 in advance of the World Cup hosting duties, and the STFA are hoping it will eventually become one of the most prestigious in the world - that road starts here at World Cup 99.

Matches Hosted
Party Like it’s WC99 Concert
World Cup 99 Opening Match - Group A MD1 Siovanija & Teusland vs Commonwealth of Baker Park
Group C MD2 Juvencus vs Pasarga
Group D MD3 Tikariot vs Eshialand
1 Round of 16 match
1 Quarterfinal match
1 Semifinal match

Franz-Gorz-Stadion (70,000)

The second biggest in the country, the Franz-Gorz-Stadion is home to the most legendary football club in the country: FC Teussen Stelburg. It’s a stadium befitting the club, too. The black and gold seats, the gold gates at the entrance, and murals and statues of legendary Teussen players - this stadium is a temple of the club. Its famous steep north stand is arguably the most atmospheric in the country. It’s truly breathtaking to experience for the first time. Stelburg Hauptbahnhof is only a 3 minute walk from the stadium, which is located just on the edge of Stelburg’s imperial downtown core next to the River Drai. U and S-bahn trains also stop here at an underground stop named for the stadium. It’s a popular tourist attraction in the city, particularly the club’s museum, where after passing through several rooms full of club artifacts and a multimedia experience telling the club story, one enters the Hall of Trophies: modeled off of the royal armoury in the Sanssouci Palace, it contains every trophy the club has ever won. The area around the stadium is pleasant too, with great spots to sit and drink before and after the game along the river.

Matches Hosted
Group D MD1 Vdara vs Tikariot
Group B MD2 Eastfield Lodge vs HOT-DAMN
Group B MD3 Farfadillis vs HOT-DAMN
1 Round of 32 match

Borograd

Population: 3.5 million
Airport: Borograd Milan Dimitrov International Airport
Major Train Stations: Borograd Hlavni postaja (main), Borograd-Razdrto (secondary)

The capital of the nation, Borograd is a city that represents both new and old in the country. Historically the second city in Siovanija, the 1808 Green Revolution that saw the country gain independence from the Teus Empire was focused on the city and saw it become Siovanija’s capital. In the 80 years between the revolution and the Great War, the city became a haven for liberal and left-wing thought and debate. A walk around Trg Republika (Republic Square) gives you an overview of many of the country’s most important buildings - the National Chancellery building, the buildings hosting the ministries of Finance and Justice. A walk around the Green House, in the western districts of the city, reveals a more nature-focused side of the city with parks and walkways along the Ljubljanica river. And a late-night walk through a trendy district like Razdrto, home to numerous restaurants and bars, is sure to provide entertainment for all.

Borograd, as the capital, is naturally well-connected to the rest of the nation. Borograd’s Milan Dimitrov International Airport is the second-busiest in the country, located just outside of the city centre. Borograd Hlavni postaja is the city’s main train station, which is connected directly to Stelburg (4hr), Pomorie/Marzig (2hr) and Vlaikograd (1hr) by high-speed rail, as well as various regional routes to the rest of the country. Borograd is also home to a U-Bahn line as well as the Borograd S-Bahn, operated by TB Siovanija, which connects the wider Borograd region.

Borograd will also be home to 2 stadiums during the World Cup, and will host important matches such as group play and 3 knockout matches. A fan zone will be formed on the Trg 1808 in the downtown core, a few minutes’ walk from the main train station.

Olimpski-Stadion (60,000)

Quite a symbolic stadium, the Olimpski-Stadion in Borograd is no stranger to big matches. It’s hosted football club Olympia Borograd for years, has held national team games many times, and true to its name has even hosted an Olympic Games event - albeit in gridiron football. The stadium is quite old, but it’s got an iconic character that makes it an ideal visit for the keen football fan. It’s located quite far from the city centre, in a northern suburb, but the Green Line of the Borograd U-Bahn metro connects it well to the downtown core.

Matches Hosted
Group B MD1 Eastfield Lodge vs Farfadillis
Group A MD2 Drawkland vs Siovanija & Teusland
Group C MD3 Juvencus vs Kamijiro
1 Round of 16 match

Stadion Razdrto ‘Vijolicni’ (61,000)

Borograd’s newest stadium is at the heart of its other football club - FK Metropola Borograd. The Razdrto district has always been at the heart of Borograd, and the Vijolicni have been proud to call it home for a hundred years. The big new stadium, as a result, fits well into the community - and its purple-hued lights can be seen across the city at night. The south stand is a large, free-standing tier and generates a great atmosphere. Stadion Razdrto is in the very walkable Razdrto district, close to a major train hub and also connected to the Borograd metro system.

Matches Hosted
Group D MD2 Vdara vs Eshialand
Group C MD3 Zwangzug vs Pasarga
1 Round of 32 match
1 Quarterfinal match

St. Jakob am der Drai

Population: 4.1 million
Airport: St. Jakob International Airport
Major Train Stations: St. Jakob Hauptbahnhof (main), St. Jakob-Alster (secondary)

The ‘city of 3 rivers,’ where the Drai, Alster and Lorenz all reach the Ostsee - St. Jakob is Siovanija & Teusland’s biggest city and its gateway to the world. Located in such an advantageous position, the city has always been the country’s largest, and has become its centre of business and trade. A walk downtown in St. Jakob is unlike any other in the country - where Stelburg’s tallest buildings are cathedrals, St. Jakob’s skyline is dotted with iconic skyscrapers. You can still get a feel for the ‘old Teusland’ in the Alte Haven (Old Port), but a walk around the Jakobplatz downtown gives you a view fit for a cosmopolitan city such as this: neon signs, bustling streets, and buildings that quite literally touch the sky. The country`s most cosmopolitan city, there`s something for everyone here.

St. Jakob is incredibly well connected to the rest of the country. The St. Jakob International Airport, about 15m from the central train station by commuter rail, is the busiest in the country, and most international flights come here - serving the various trade fairs that go on all year long. There are flights to Stelburg and Borograd many times a day. St. Jakob, as the headquarters of TeusBahn, is naturally also well connected by train. You can reach Stelburg (1h45) on the fastest train line in the country, while destinations like Felsenkirchen (2hr) and Kaiserhaven (2h30) are also within reach. Borograd (5h45) is a bit further afield but still possible. The city`s network of U-Bahn and S-Bahn routes is by far the biggest in the country, and you can get pretty much anywhere by public transit.

St. Jakob has one stadium that will play host to the World Cup, the newly renovated Draistadion. A fanzone will be set up at the Brunnplatz U-Bahn station, the closest stop to the Draistadion itself.

Draistadion (65,000)

Named for its beautiful location along the banks of the country’s longest river - the Drai - this stadium is home to historic football club FC St. Jakob and is the home of football in the country’s largest city. A rounded stadium with great sightlines all over, it is one of the country’s biggest and has the amenities to suit its size. Always a pleasure to visit, the stadium is located in a quieter part of the main island of St. Jakob - from your seat in the west stand, you’ll have a great view of the city’s skyline, especially during night matches.

Matches Hosted
Group C MD1 Pasarga vs Kamijiro
Group B MD2 Captina Island vs Farfadillis
Group A MD3 Siovanija & Teusland vs Audioslavia
1 Round of 16 match

Vlaikograd

Population: 1.8 million
Airport: Vlaikograd Airport
Major Train Stations: Vlaikograd Hlavni postaja (main), Vlaikograd-Zhod (secondary)

Once Siovanija’s political and cultural capital, Vlaikograd remains a must-visit location for any visitor to Siovanija & Teusland. Located in the northwest of the country, the city is the oldest in Siovanija and quickly became its largest. A walk through central Vlaikograd gives you a view of historic palaces and culturally-important buildings - such as the Jaromirgrad, the oldest palace in Siovanija dating back to when the country was an Empire before being defeated by the Teus. Vlaikograd is also the centre of the Siovanijan pagan religion, the Old Beliefs, and you can find more temples here - including the main temple dedicated to the city’s namesake, Vlaiko, and also to the god Triglav. Near the city are incredible natural wonders such as the Siovanijan Great Lakes, just a 15 minute drive away. Lake Dohinj in particular is a popular daytrip.

Vlaikograd is well-connected within Siovanija. Its airport has few international flights, but has good links domestically and is served well by budget carriers such as HansAir. By train, you can reach Borograd quickly on the high speed line (1h) as well as Pomorie/Marzig (2h). Those trains head east towards the border with Teusland - you can also head west to the port city of Trkev (3h30) or deeper into the Great Lakes and spa towns like Chotevice (0.5h) at the centre of the region. While Vlaikograd does not have a commuter rail service, it does have a U-Bahn serving the city.

Vlaikograd is home to one stadium hosting World Cup matches, the Stadion Ivo Balikov.

Stadion Ivo Balikov ‘Crvenski Grad’ (40,000)

Known as the ‘Red Castle’ after its iconic red-bricked front entrance, the Stadion Ivo Balikov is the new home of football club Zvezda Vlaikograd. Named for the club’s best-ever player, this is one of the iconic stadiums in Siovanija & Teusland - its bright-red seats and decor honour the club that calls it home, and in domestic league games it is known as a true fortress. This will be the first chance for the stadium to host international football, and it’s sure to provide a great atmosphere. Located in the city’s west end, the Brevnova U-Bahn station and the Ivo Balikov station both serve the area and the surroundings are filled with bars and areas for supporters to gather.

Matches Hosted
Group B MD1 HOT-DAMN vs Captina Island

Pomorie/Marzig

Population: 1 million
Airport: Pomorie-Marzig National Airport
Major Train Stations: Pomorie Hlavni postaja (co-main), Marzig Stadtbahnhof (co-main)

Without a doubt one of the most historic cities in the country - Pomorie/Marzig is where the divide between Siovanija and Teusland is at its most obvious. About 54% of the population lives on the eastern ‘Marzig’ side of the River Drai, and consider themselves Teus, while the west bank and the other 46% live on the ‘Pomorie’ side and consider themselves Siovanijan. The Great War broke out over a dispute over who should own the city, and even post-unification, there has still been conflict here. On the Marzig side of town, you can see the Church of Sankt Gustaf and the Museum of the Crusades as well as enjoy a coffee in the Teuslandplatz downtown - while on the Pomorie side, a visit to the Unification Tower and a walk along the riverfront next to the Trg Korjava are a must.

Pomorie/Marzig is also connected to the rest of the country. The airport here is the 4th biggest in the country after the big 3, and Air Republika does a good job of serving it. By train, Pomorie/Marzig is linked to Borograd (3h) and Vlaikograd (2h) to its west in Siovanija, and Marlesee (1h) and Stelburg (2h30) to its east in Teusland. Trains also go down the Drai river valley to Hechingen (0h30) and its famous Castle, while the train to Chernovets - a distance shorter than to Borograd or Stelburg - winds through the mountains, taking its time (4h30) to get there. There is a good U-Bahn system in the city, and its commuter rail network connects all of the Upper Drai Valley, going as far as the Teus border at Reichmannsdorf.

Pomorie/Marzig will host one match at the World Cup. The Gustafplatz will also host a fan zone during the tournament.

Sankt Gustaf Stadion (45,000)

One of the newest stadiums in the country, the Sankt Gustaf Stadion (known as the Volksbankstadion when home side TSV Marzig play here) is located to the northeast of Marzig’s city centre and is no stranger to big international events - it has hosted the IFCF Associations’ Trophy final in the past. A stadium that remains close to the traditions of its home club, it has been very lucky for them since opening as the club lifted a national title in their first season in their new home. The surrounding district is a nice, quiet neighbourhood close to the sea - and there are plenty of nice restaurants and pubs around to keep fans entertained before the match. A new U-Bahn station named for club legend and one-time Goldhorn Ludwig Reichwein gets you right to the centre of the action.

Matches Hosted
Group D MD2 Kwrpania vs Tikariot

Felsenkirchen

Population: 2.3 million
Airport: Felsenkirchen-Feldbrunn International Airport
Major Train Stations: Felsenkirchen Hauptbahnhof (main), Felsenkirchen-Jakobtor (secondary)

Lovely Felsenkirchen - the fourth largest city in the country, and one known for its interesting culture. The biggest port city on the Nordsee, Felsenkirchen made its name first as an independent duchy resisting the creation of the Teus Empire and later as its most important port. Under the Empire, Felsenkirchen experienced a golden age, and sailors from all over the world passed through its port. It was here that the city developed much of its character - both the gritty red-light district in its downtown known for long nights of partying, and the palatial homes owned by merchants in districts like Mollin. Nowadays, Felsenkirchen remains a key port, and a walk along the Nordseehafen and its New and Old Port districts leaves no doubt about that. A stroll along the Schifferbahn and its endless stream of bars, clubs and other attractions is always an interesting way to complete a Felsenkirchen evening - but the iconic image of the city will always remain the Church of St. Florian located on top of a rock in Felsenkirchen’s harbour. It’s quite literally the namesake of the city (‘rock church’).

The airport in Feldbrunn about 20 minutes south of the city keeps Felsenkirchen and the entire northeast well connected - but taking the train is your best bet. Stelburg (2h) and St. Jakob (2h) are about equidistant, and trains continue across the country to Kaiserhaven (4h30) and Borograd (6h30). For a scenic day, you could take the Nordkustbahn all the way west to Marlesee - a slow train but with beautiful views of coastal villages (5h30). Trains also go across the causeway to Rotmunde (1h). Felsenkirchen’s U-Bahn network is considered one of the most efficient in the country, and its S-Bahn network serves the entire state known as Nordflachland - all of the northeastern cape and the island of Rotmunde are connected this way.

Felsenkirchen’s famous Molin Park stadium, which was upgraded for World Cup hosting duties to a capacity of 60,000 will play host to several matches including a knockout stage fixture. In addition, Felsenkirchen will be home to a fanzone at the Peter-Eichel-Platz near the old port.

Molin Park (60,000)

Iconic doesn’t begin to describe it - Molin Park is a legendary name in football in Teusland. The home of FC Felsenkirchen 1879, one of the country’s biggest clubs, the stadium is located in the eastern quarter of the city - the old merchant’s district Molin. It’s surrounded by a wonderful classic neighbourhood, and is located at the top of the city park from which it gets its name - lush trees surround the stadium. The ground itself features steep stands that really give the impression that you are on top of the action, and you can feel history in every inch of the place. The walk through the park to get to the stadium is almost as much of an experience as the game itself, and while there is a U-Bahn station directly at the station (Molin Park), every true Felsenkirchener knows to get off at Molin-Nord instead for that walk.

Matches Hosted
Group C MD1 Juvencus vs Zwangzug
Group C MD2 Kamijiro vs Zwangzug
Group D MD3 Vdara vs Kwrpania
1 Round of 32 match

Kaiserhaven

Population: 1.0 million
Airport: Kaiserhaven Wilhelm I International Airport
Major Train Stations: Kaiserhaven Hauptbahnhof (Main), Kaiserhaven-Vorstockertor (secondary)

When one reads a Teus history textbook, they’ll note historic cities like Stelburg, Felsenkirchen and St. Jakob from the earliest pages - cities founded when the Teus people were still pagans, that rose out of the early civilization. Kaiserhaven is not one of those cities - it only appears on the pages after the year 1253. The Southern territories of Teusland became part of the Empire swiftly following the unification in 1253, but they were mostly a wide collection of frontier towns and vast wilderness. No settlement existed on the southernmost tip of Teusland, and so in 1255, Kaiser Wilhelm gave the order to build ‘a town which will serve as the southern port of our Empire.’ Kaiserhaven, literally meaning ‘emperor’s harbour,’ was born. Unlike many of the classic cities of the Empire, it was built in a full grid pattern, centred around the lighthouse which was the first building built in the new city. It became an important base for the nation’s navy throughout the imperial era, and also a centre of exploration. Georg Blocher famously set sail from here when he discovered Prinz-Eugens-Land, for example. Kaiserhaven boomed with the Empire.

Kaiserhaven’s main sights today include the Old Port, as well as the Wilhelmturm lighthouse that stands as the city’s oldest building. You can also check out the city’s important past at the Naval Museum, or at the Museum of the Colonies. It’s not quite a nightlife capital like Felsenkirchen, or a cultural hub like Stelburg, but many appreciate Kaiserhaven for its laid-back, distinctive southern culture. The Wilhelm I Airport is located in the city itself, and easily connected by TB train to the centre core. Kaiserhaven’s U-Bahn connects the city quite well. From Kaiserhaven Hbf, you can reach St. Jakob up the coast in 2h30, Felsenkirchen at the opposite end of the country in 4h30, or Stelburg in a 5h ride through the Teufelsbergerwald.

A newly-refurbished Stadion Kaiserhaven will play host to matches at the World Cup, including a knockout fixture.

Stadion Kaiserhaven (50,000)

The largest stadium on the south coast by far, the Stadion Kaiserhaven is famously one of the most atmospheric grounds in the country. The home of long-suffering FC Kaiserhaven, clubs from across the country fear a trip here to the Stadion. Located just north of the Old Port, and served well by U-Bahn trains, the Stadion is typical for the era it was originally built: a pretty standard box with 4 separated stands of 2 tiers each. The stadium saved the club during isolation, when a large share was bought by the municipal government - and that arrangement also sees it now hosting the World Cup, as the federal government was convinced to invest in upgrading its facilities and capacity. Famously, Kaiserhaven is known for its rains and wind, especially in the spring - and the Stadion Kaiserhaven is considered the windiest in the country.

Matches Hosted
Group D MD1 Eshialand vs Kwrpania
Group A MD3 Drawkland vs Commonwealth of Baker Park
1 Round of 32 match

Marlesee

Population: 800k
Airport: Marlesee Charlotte Winkler Airport
Major Train Stations: Marlesee Hauptbahnhof (Main), Marlesee-Ost (secondary)

On Teusland’s north coast, the city of Marlesee is famously somewhat isolated from the rest of the country, both geographically and culturally. It’s located on the same bay as Pomorie/Marzig - but separated by the end of the Mittelgebirge mountains. It’s located on the same sea as Felsenkirchen - but separated by hundreds of miles of barren coast. It’s just an hour and a half north of Stelburg on the train - but totally distinct, with a Gothic architecture style and ‘unique’ accents. Famously, Marlesee is also the country’s coldest city, and gets the most snowfall of any city - naturally, that won’t affect this summer tournament. The city is quite compact, and the Old Town is probably the best-preserved example of the Gothic style in the country - including the famous Marlesee Cathedral, which has the second-highest spire in the country.

Charlotte Winkler Airport, named for the first female President of Siovanija & Teusland who was also from the city, is located on the coastline northeast of the city and is well-connected domestically, though it doesn’t see any international flights. Marlesee’s U-Bahn is quite small in comparison to most cities in the country but it does its job well, while the Hauptbahnhof is connected well to Stelburg (1.5h) and connections further on. The connection along the north coast to Felsenkirchen, the Nordkustbahn, is not part of the high-speed line and although beautiful does take 5.5 hours. Going west into Siovanija, the connection to Pomorie/Marzig is disrupted by the mountains - there’s no high-speed rail here, and you must take a regional train to high-altitude Reichmansdorf (25m) before switching to the Pomorie/Marzig S-Bahn (35m) to get to that city, covering a 40km difference in nearly 4 times what it would take the average high-speed train.

Marlesee will host an international tournament for the first time during World Cup 99, with its historic stadium hosting a group stage match.

Stadion am Alten Dom (40,000)

Even with its harsh winter climate, Marlesee 97 supporters are famous for their undying support of the club - and the Stadion am Alten Dom is well-known as a favourite across the country. There’s always something special about the stadiums located right in the heart of their city, and in Marlesee this is very much the case. The Stadion am Alten Dom is located in the middle of the old town and is literally beside the Marlesee Dom, the town’s historic gothic cathedral that is one of the most well-known in the country for its beauty. Sitting in the west stand, you will have a view of the Cathedral’s tower for the entire match, although you can see it from almost any seat other than the furthest back on the east stand. Surrounded by pubs and restaurants, there’s a real buzz about the city when Marlesee play, and groundhoppers are always keen to tick this one off - the World Cup should be no different.

Matches Hosted
Group B MD3 Eastfield Lodge vs Captina Island

Vrnovo

Population: 500k
Airport: Vrnovo International Airport
Major Train Stations: None

Nearly 350km south of the actual main island of Siovanija & Teusland, lies the island of Vrnovo - a stark contrast to the mainland. The pine trees and mountains give way to palm trees and sand, making Vrnovo one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country. The island - actually part of an archipelago, with Vrnovo the biggest island at the north end of the group - is quite long and not so wide. The west coast is filled with all-inclusive resorts and attracts families and cruises, while the east coast is more tuned in to a younger crowd. The city itself is an interesting mix - historic Siovanijan buildings mixed with tropical scenery. The centre of the city is the long strip of beach, with bars, dance clubs, hotels and restaurants extending down its length. Historically, organized crime has naturally had a very big presence here, but this has seemed to decline in recent years.

Vrnovo’s connection to the mainland is mainly through Vrnovo International Airport, the fourth-busiest in the country and connected everywhere through cheap flights by budget carrier HansAir, who have really promoted the airport in recent years. There are no trains on the island - although there is a U-Bahn system which serves to link the airport with the strip of hotels and attractions on the city’s shore. The only other option to get here is from the Port, where an overnight ferry takes 10h to Severno, a small town about 2.5 hours south of Borograd by train. Ferries also go to the smaller islands in the chain, though they mostly lack tourist infrastructure.

Vrnovo’s new stadium will host several matches at World Cup 99, and there will be a fanzone along the Sprehajalisce, better known to our guests as ‘The Promenade.’

Stadion Zvezda Juznega (60,000)

The newest stadium in the country - translated as ‘Star of the South’ - the SZJ is one fans across the country have been eagerly waiting for. With its architectural design appearing as a literal star raised out of the ground to cover the pitch, and its located right along the seaside in downtown Vrnovo, the local club Vrnovo Mesto have gone from an old, worn-out stadium to arguably the most advanced in the country. Some say the 60,000 capacity is too big for a club of Mesto’s size - but the plan is for this stadium to host key matches and other entertainment events in the peak holiday periods, to provide a massive boost to the club itself. The stadium even features an internal climate control system to deal with Vrnovo’s warm weather. Surrounded by entertainment, it’s an incredible stadium to visit.

Matches Hosted
Group A MD2 Commonwealth of Baker Park vs Audioslavia
1 Round of 32 match

Stahlberg

Population: 550k
Airport: Stahlberger Land Airport
Major Train Stations: Stahlberg Hauptbahnhof (Main), Stahlberg-Edelweissbahnhof (secondary)

High up in the mountains lies the city of Stahlberg, one of the most interesting in the country. The Stahlberger Land, referring to the mountainous region around the city, has always been the mining centre of the nation, and the city’s mining heritage can be seen everywhere you go in town. But it’s much more than that too - its alpine location makes it a winter sports capital; the valleys south of here are filled with some of the most beautiful mountain villages in the country; and its role in the Great War as a pivotal hub for the Teus Empire means it is full of history, too. The City History Museum tells the story of this historic place. It’s probably a city more enjoyed by those who love the outdoors, and who are willing to go up into the beautiful mountains that surround it.

The Stahlberger Land Airport is located outside of the city, but as it’s quite difficult to fly into and weather conditions can be poor in the winter there is only one daily flight to St. Jakob - everything else is handled by train. Luckily, Stahlberg was built in the middle of a mountain pass between Siovanija and Teusland, and thus its connections are well-developed. It’s almost perfectly in the middle of Stelburg (2h) and Borograd (2h) via the high-speed network, with a link to the southern city of Pomen (1.5h) also connecting it to the rest of the country. A popular tourist train is the Edelweissbahn, which climbs up and down steep mountain passes in the region and terminates at the village of Sterzing, one of the most beautiful traditional towns in the Mittelgebirge. Stahlberg also has a U-Bahn and a small S-Bahn network that mostly connects the city to the various mining towns and encampments that surround it.

Stadion Michael Ribbeck (40,000)

A new build - luckily for local club SW Stahlberg right before isolation - the stadium in Stahlberg is named for the city’s most famous son: Michael Ribbeck. Ribbeck led the line for Stahlberg as they captured a national title before moving to Brenecia to continue his legendary career. He also led the Goldhorns at several World Cups, and remains the country’s all-time leading international scorer. The stadium is located right downtown in Stahlberg, and has good access to the train network and also the downtown entertainment core. That’s the least of the worries for teams playing here, however. This is well-known for being the highest altitude city in the country, and SW Stahlberg have turned their home ground into a fortress as a result. Teams playing here will have to deal with the challenge of high-altitude, low oxygen football.

Matches Hosted
Group A MD1 Drawkland vs Audioslavia

Once again, a very warm welcome to Siovanija & Teusland, and our people can’t wait to meet you here for football and friendship!

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Sun May 11, 2025 11:14 am

Squornshelan Remnant States Information for Visitors

The Confederacy of Squornshelan Remnant States is a democratic republic consisting of eight member states located in northern Arrosia. It is known for its diverse population and landscape, as well as its authoritarian history under the former Imperium of Squornshelous, though also for its progressive values, and excellent human rights record in the modern era.

Getting Here and Getting Around:
It's a Map!
Squornshelous is well served by transit options, though most of you will be arriving via aircraft of some type. To the west, it is bordered by Quebec and . . . well we're not entirely sure. Explorers haven't finished mapping all of Arrosia just yet. The major international airports are located in Brantisvogan, Vogsphere, Chalesm, and Damogran, though every host city does have a significant airport, so it will be possible to easily connect onward after arriving in country and clearing border control. Travel by train is also an option, as the country has a well-funded national train service, and several high-speed lines to offset the imposing distances between some cities. Day trips within the core of Megabrantis are easily feasible by train, though travel to further flung locations can take several hours, particularly if you need to connect through one of the train hubs, namely Chalesm, Jaglan, or Lutenblag. Rental cars are available to those with a valid driver’s license, but will be largely unnecessary for most visitors, unless they’re planning a trip out into the countryside. For travel between the Isle and the mainland, there are three ferries per day to and from Arkintoofle and Santraginus, plus one overnight. Since the trip takes about six hours, air travel is recommended for those trying to make a football match.

History and Politics
The Confederacy of Squornshelan Remnant States was initially formed by the political union of seven former provinces of the Squornshelan Imperium, which were later joined by the eighth. The names and distinctions between these political entities and their particular forms and territories at various points in history is fraught with ambiguity and confusion. Suffice it to say for now that at least while speaking in the present tense, the terms SRS, Confederacy, and Squornshelous are all routinely used to refer to the same, extant political entity: the eight Squornshelan Remnant States. These states consist of, East Flania and West Flania in the far north of the country, cold and heavily forested. Molvania in the western interior, and Algolia along the southern coast. Cosmopolitan Megabrantis occupying the central-east heartland and little Han Dold tucked just north of it and south of Flania. The warm, mountainous peninsula of Sivolvia juts out from Megabrantis to the southeast, and the densely populated Isle of Squornshelous lies a couple hundred kilometers from the eastern coastline. Initially, only the first seven of these member states constituted the Confederacy, but roughly 20 years ago, a successful uprising on the Isle toppled the last emperor and formed a provisional government. Shortly thereafter, the Isle applied for and was granted membership in the Confederacy. While the move was somewhat controversial, it was generally regarded as a political and military necessity in order to not allow the possibility of either a hostile power or a failed state squatting off the shores of the Confederacy. Today, the Confederacy is a republic with an elected president as its chief executive and a unicameral legislature, Altinget, led by a prime minister. The current government is led by the center-right Democratic Party in coalition with the right-wing Progress League, and the president is Erlend Kraft, also of the Democratic Party. This is somewhat of a departure from the norm, as it has been much more common in the modern era for the center-left Labor Party to have control of Altinget, typically in coalition with either the Center Party or Socialist Party.

Ethnicity and Language
Ethnically, the Confederacy is considerably less segregated than the Imperium once was, but still a long way from a fully integrated society. Of the nation’s six primary native ethnic groups, Squornsh and Brantid citizens, who formed in large part the ruling class of the old Imperium, tend to have spread the most from their ancestral homelands on the Isle and in Megabrantis. Algolian, Molvanian, Sivolvian, and Han citizens were once all but restricted to their home provinces, and have only gradually ventured out under the Confederacy’s freedom of movement. In addition to those native groups, one can find particularly large communities of recent Qusma, Quebecois, and Farf expatriates. Qusmi’y and Farves tend to be found most often in the larger cities, particularly Brantisvogan and the capital of Chalesm, while Quebecois are most often found near the border with that nation in the west, such as in Lublova and Damogran. There is also a minority community of Sarzonian extraction, though they tend to be less recent immigrants, and therefore somewhat more integrated to Squornsh culture. Squornsh is the official language of the Confederate government, and the unofficial language of business across the nation. Of the other languages spoken prior to Imperial conquest, only Molvanski has a significant number of speakers, and is the co-official language in its home state. Algolian, Sivolvian, and Han are seeing a steadily dwindling number of native speakers, and are at risk of extinction within a few more generations.

Culture and Legalities
The culture of Squornshelous tends overall to be liberal and civic-minded. Law and government policy promotes equality in hiring practices with regard to gender and ethnicity, and gender, ethnicity, age, religion, national origin, disability, sexual orientation, and familial status are all protected classes. Other government policies include marriage equality, no-fault divorce, legal abortion, and socialized healthcare. Alcohol, marijuana, and some other drugs with low overdose risk are legal but regulated. These can either be sold for consumption on-premises at licensed establishments, or purchased for home use at government run stores called Monopolet. Tobacco can also be purchased only at Monopolet, which closes by 20:00 each evening, and is not open at all on the weekend. So, if planning an after party for the weekend match in your hotel room, make sure to stock up the day before. Drugs such as methamphetamine, cocaine, heroin, and MDMA are illegal, but are nonetheless present in society, and can be purchased illicitly. Possession of small amounts of these substances is decriminalized, while their sale and manufacture are strictly punished. Sex work is legal, but purchasing sex is banned. Religion, while present in the Confederacy, does not play a central role in society, or in the lives of a majority of Squornshelans. Culture varies considerably across such a large and diverse nation, but the stereotypical Squornshelan is fairly quiet and taciturn during the week, cutting loose on the weekend. This is particularly true on the Isle and in Megabrantis, with people in Sivolvia, Molvania, and Algolia typically regarded as being a bit less closed-off and more gregarious. Wherever you are though, the best way to get the locals talking is typically over a drink, or at some other weekend leisure venue.

Leisure and Food
As far as what leisure activities people in the Confederacy engage in, there is a diversity of options, as one would expect from a large country with such varied peoples and landscapes. food and leisure trends in the Confederacy cover a broad spectrum. In the north, heavier, simply fare like stews and roasts tend to be popular, with the largest meal in the evening and small, often cold dishes eaten in the morning and mid-day. In the south, the largest meal tends to happen in early afternoon, and dishes are more likely to directly incorporate grains, rather than simply serving them on the side. One near constant is the presence of seafood, even into the interior of Megabrantis, though the precise types of fish and shellfish consumed also vary with climate. In leisure activities, Squornshelans often feel a strong draw to the outdoors, and it’s usually not difficult to find your way to hiking paths and camping sites except within the largest of cities. In Algolia and Sivolvia especially, people want to get out on the water, whether it be a lake or the ocean, and whether they be in a small motorboat or a sailing yacht. So if you get bored with the football, or get eliminated before your flight home, here are a few of the most popular outings in the Confederacy:

Take the coast train from Han Dold up to Zarss, skirting the edge of the North Reach mountains where they meet the sea. The views from the train itself are spectacular in both directions, and once in Zarss you can hike up into the foothills or embark on a whale-watching tour.
Tour the Viceroy's Palace in Brantisvogan, the former seat of the Imperial government on the mainland. The impressive, neo-baroque building is preserved as a museum on both the Imperial administration and the history of resistance against it.
Go surfing at one of the big wavebreaks in southern Sivolvia. The city of Brasta is a good home base for this, and will provide plenty in the way of beach parties, campfires, and fresh seafood.
Visit Molvania. The country within our country. There won't be any matches hosted in Molvania due to some unfortunate stadium circumstances, but the vibrant culture of the inland state is not to be missed, whether you're going urban exploring in Lutenblag or Lublova, relaxing in the Gryrorik lake district, sampling wines in the hills above Sjerezo, or just tossing back a glass of zeerstum (garlic schnapps) with some new local friends.

Sport
As for football, it’s the most popular sport in the Confederacy by a significant margin, with ice hockey coming in a rather distant second. Squornshelous, as many will already be aware, has a long, albeit noncontinuous history in international football. Reckoning strictly by earliest debut, Squornshelous is the third-oldest among active footballing nations, having first participated in World Cup 5. The nation has hoisted the World Cup twice, in its 31st and 97th editions, though it has never before hosted the tournament. In addition to its international plaudits, the Confederacy boasts an excellent domestic league featuring world class players from across the multiverse. Confederate football as a rule tends to be quite physical, with an emphasis on defensive responsibility, team play, and selflessness. The Superleague in a recent season saw teams combine to score only just over 2.3 goals per match. That’s not to say that neutral Confederates in attendance won’t support attractive, ball-moving football. Our own national team is currently managed by a Juven who throws players forward like a madman, though that’s certainly worked well for us of late. It’s only to say that Confederates may be quite likely to throw their support behind a plucky more-than-the-sum-of-its-parts style team working their hearts out on defense.

Group Stage Host Cities:
In each case, the stadium listed first will host the match listed first in the schedule.
Group I: Brantisvogan
With a population of six million, not including outlying suburbs, Brantisvogan is the largest population center in the Confederacy, centrally located within the nation’s largest and most populous member state, Megabrantis. While the political center of the nation is a ways upriver in the capital of Chalesm, Brantisvogan exerts powerful cultural and economic influence across the nation as a major center of banking and media. In such a massive city, you can surely find anything you’re looking for in terms of food and leisure. Museums, clubs, the tree-lined riverwalk, sterile financial district streets, and run down neighborhoods that strain belief in the Confederacy’s vaunted reputation for social equity. Outside the city, Megabrantis is mostly pretty flat, temperate farmland, divided by the massive Branta River, which winds through the Confederate heartland, linking the major cities of its largest population center.

Radlov Arena - Brantisvogan - capacity 76,800 - Primary Tenant: Brantisvogan FC
The home venue of Brantisvogan FC is among the largest venues in the SRS, and frequently renovated to improve amenities for guests and players both. It has played host to seven World Cup Qualifying matches as well as the tenth IFCF Champions League final. The Arena is located relatively close to downtown Brantisvogan, the largest urban area in the Confederacy, with some six million inhabitants. With such a large conurbation, Brantisvogan's culture is cosmopolitan, and just about any type of food and entertainment options can be found, if one looks hard enough. Brantisvogan is accessible by plane via its large, modern airport, and by train to the rest of the Confederacy, particularly the nearby cities of Chalesm and Viltvodle.

Megabrantid Financial Field - Brantisvogan - capacity 69,245 - primary Tenant: Megabrantid SC
The home of the most successful club of the Superleague Era, the arena is a bit further out from downtown, but still well within Brantisvogan’s extensive built-up area, not suburban by any means, and well linked to the rest of the city by public transit. The smooth curves of its glass and steel facade were hyper-modern at its time of construction, and while they’re perhaps not as out there as some stadia designed since, the amenities within are certainly second to none.

Group J: Damogran
Nestled in the far southwest of the nation, at the western extreme of the southern state of Algolia, lies the city of Damogran. Damogran’s relative isolation has led to it developing a unique culture, with Damograni’s known for being proud, stubborn, and self-reliant to a fault, but also quick to befriend people and always reliable. The climate can be broadly described as mediterranean, consisting primarily of grassland and open pine forest, you can read a bit more detail about the landscape and the animals that call it home here.

Albrechtsson Park - Damogran - capacity 65,400 - primary tenant: Algolia AC
The home arena of Algolia AC is the heavily modernized modern incarnation of a structure that began life as a mid-twentieth century concrete hulk, built after the club's original stadium was used as a mustering ground and ammunition dump during the Squornshelan Civil War, and was subsequently destroyed. The arena's various renovations have seen bleacher benches replaced with individual seating, frequent updates to the video boards, and the addition of a soaring roof to shield spectators from sun and rain. It has also seen the original, bare concrete style of the exterior age so far as to come back into fashion, where it was augmented by a new neo-brutalist facade that still sparks fierce arguments in architectural circles in Damogran. It has previously hosted five World Cup Qualifying matches.

Bridger Lane - Damogran - capacity 72,406 - Primary Tenant: Damogran FC
Currently the fourth-largest all-seater in the nation, Bridger Lane houses Damogran FC of the SCFA Superleague, located in the City of Damogran, in the far southwest of the SRS. The stadium is located a short drive from downtown Damogran's shopping and dining districts. It is also connected to downtown by light rail, and by standard train to Damogran International Airport, and the rest of the Confederacy. Bridger Lane has previously been the venue for six World Cup Qualifying matches, one Confederacy Cup Final, and the final of the fifth FFI League of Victors (known at that time as the Liga dos Vencedores).

Group K: Yassaca
Sivolvia is a mountainous peninsula sticking out to the southwest from the mainland of the Confederacy, with a core of active volcanoes towering above sloping coastal plains. Yassaca lies on the eastern side of the mountain ridge on the fertile coastal plain deposited by the erosion of the igneous rock forming the core of the peninsula. The climate is almost subtropical, and the landscape consists of lush vegetation interspersed with frequent farms. You can read in more detail about Sivolvian climate and flora here.

Pheldagriff Stadium - Yassaca - capacity 45,620 - primary tenant: Yassaca FC
A bit older than some of the other venues selected, perhaps, but the Grif makes up for it with its gorgeous hilltop location on the edge of Yassaca’s urban core, giving views of the skyline in one direction, and the coastal plain extending toward the sea in the other. Fortunately, Yassaca got to dip into the Hosting Committee’s coffers enough to replace their aging seats and refurbish the display screens, so visiting fans will be more comfortable than they might have been had they visited a year prior. Not unlike its tenant club, the stadium’s best days are certainly in the past, but there’s also hope for a better future.

Black Raven Field - Yassaca - capacity 35,400 - primary tenant: Sivolvia Capitalizt AC
On the small end when it comes to World Cup venues, Black Raven Field makes up for its lack of sheet capacity with modernity. Recently renovated out of the sepulchrally deep pockets of its namesake company, owner of its tenant club, it is a luxury experience without a bad seat in the house. Concession prices do tend to reflect that objective though. A shopping and dining district with well-integrated transit stations was built around the stadium concurrent with its most recent expansion, to give that authentic “exit through the gift shop” feeling. Hey, winning all those league titles costs money, kids.

Group L: Santraginus/Striterax
Isle of Squornshelous was once the seat of the Imperium, and is the most recent of the Confederacy’s eight member states to join. It remains highly industrialized and is in many ways a rival to Megabrantis as an economic center, particularly with regard to technological innovation. Islanders have a reputation for being aloof, brusque, unfriendly, even rude, and also for being overly concerned with money, both in their daily lives and in their judgment of others. Here on the Isle is the only place that some travel will be required of teams and fans, but Santraginus and Striterax form the termini of the Isle's high speed line (which also runs through Vogsphere), and the route is also served by a multi-lane highway and several flights daily (checking in and boarding usually takes longer than the flight itself).

Admiral Cherenkov Stadium - Santraginus - capacity 71,200 - Primary Tenant: FC Santraginus
Admiral Cherenkov Stadium, sometimes affectionately referred to as "the Dockyard" is a large, modernized stadium located in the harbor district of Santraginus. Though the arena's exposed concrete structures betray its age through architecture, it was thoroughly updated just prior to the entry of its tenant, FC Santraginus, into the SCFA, roughly a decade ago. The stadium has hosted two World Cup qualifying matches since the unification, as well as five such matches for the old Imperial team. Its location on the waterfront places it in close proximity to the city's central dining and shopping districts, though also to the industrial and post-industrial areas of the nearby Docklands district, which most tourists will prefer to avoid. Those who are a bit more adventurous, however, will enjoy the fact that the Docklands have yet to be extensively gentrified, and all manner of small local businesses catering primarily to locals will grudgingly accept your money, tourist filth.

Striterax Cybernetics Arena - Striterax - capacity 64,325 - Primary Tenant: Striterax FC
Striterax was once (and still is, to a point) the center of the massive Squornshelan automotive industry. The city still does a fair amount of car manufacture, though it’s mostly final assembly taking place here these days, with parts production outsourced across the multiverse. Accordingly, the city, particularly the districts along the rivers, is rife with repurposed industrial spaces. Old workshops and foundies have become drafty flats, indoor climbing walls, art studios, bicycle shops and yes, nightclubs. As for the stadium itself, its name pays tribute to the new big player in Striterax, and its brutalist facade screams with the same impersonal enormity as the nation's largest and least scrupulous cybernetics and pharmaceuticals company. The area around Striterax is a mixture of surviving wetland and highly polluted former wetland, drained for farming and construction. You can read about the very peculiar fauna that call the remaining swamps home here.

Additional Venues for Knockout Matches:

Vogsphere Arena - Vogsphere - capacity 90,000 - Primary Tenant: Vogsphere United
The current Vogsphere Arena is the third stadium to bear that name in a lineage that stretches back to the earliest days of the World Cup. The Arena from street level is a curved glass facade, artfully divided by smoothly curving steel supports, its lines not constrained by the creative and technical limitations that lead so many grounds to simple ovoid or rectangular shapes. Rather, from the air it describes a massive triangle, taking up entirely more real estate than is necessary for a football pitch, with the bloodred V of its primary tenant emblazoned on the retractable roof. It is located on the outskirts of Vogsphere for property cost reasons, but well connected by road and rail to the rest of the city.

Castle Street - Jaglan - capacity 57,300 - primary tenant: Jaglan Royals
Castle Street is a curved edifice of steel and glass, nestled between Jaglan's outlying modern business district and the historic inner city, taking its name from the road that once led into Jaglan through the Castle Gate. The archway is preserved at the center of a large roundabout. The stadium sits along the busiest and best served light rail line in Jaglan, and has easy access to just about anywhere in the city of approximately 750,000. Castle Street has previously hosted six World Cup Qualifying matches and an AOCL final.

Raftel Park - Chalesm - capacity 64,200 - primary tenant: Chalesm FC
Newly renovated and expanded to be ready for the World Cup, the home venue of the Confederate capital’s largest club is now among the most modern arenas in the nation. Completely enclosed in a new facade that curves smoothly up to form the roof and also encloses an adjacent practice facility, it's white paint and oblong shape have led to Raftel Park's latest nickname, "The Big Egg." Despite the mild derision, it is an unforgettable gameday experience, with all-new guest amenities and massive wrap-around display screens around the hole in the roof above the field.

by **Banija** » Sun May 11, 2025 11:14 am

National Information

The Royal Banijan Soccer Association welcomes everybody to Banija for World Cup 99!

The Kingdom of Banija is a country that classifies itself as a semi-constitutional monarchy. A nation that is a member of Arrosia, it is led by the Kabaka(which translates to King), and the current monarch is Kabaka Mwanga. The Kabaka, alongside with the Waziri(translates to Foreign Minister), whom he picks and dismisses solely at his pleasure, is the Head of State and responsible for the country's foreign affairs. Upon reaching age 25, the Isebantu(Crown Prince), becomes the Waziri by constitutional right. The current Isebantu is Isebantu Mutungi. The full list of members of the Royal Family can be found here. With the heir just 5 years old, Omugaba Immaculate is the designated person to rule as Regent(Omukama) if Mwanga passes before the Isebantu turns 17.

Kabaka Mwanga ascended into power after the assassination of his father, Kabaka Albert III during World Cup 82 Qualifying. This is, of course, a government with an elected element. The elected unicameral legislature is the Lukiiko(Parliament), and the Lukiiko is responsible for governance of domestic affairs. The Katikkiro(Prime Minister) is elected by the Lukiiko. After over a decade of rule by the left, this traditionally conservative nation has shown its true colors again by electing a government led by the center-right People's Protection Movement, in coalition with the Latter-Day Alliance. The most recent election results can be found here. The Katikkiro is Boaz Gor, who is currently serving in his first term as Head of Government. A full list of his cabinet, and other leading Banijan political decision-makers, can be found here.

The established church is the Puritan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, most commonly known as Puritan Mormonism. Well over 90% of Banijans identify as adherents to the state church, though freedom of religion is generally respected by the law and the populace. There is very little patience and open disdain, however, for atheism among the general populace. Courts are sometimes known not to enforce freedom of religion laws when it comes to those preaching atheism, which is considered an 'evil' view by many Banijans. A list of leadership of the Church leadership can be found here.

Due to the massive influence of Puritan Mormonism in this nation, they are relatively socially conservative. Abortion in this country is outlawed unless the mother's life is in danger, and polygamy for males is legal. The church's Universal Call to Motherhood, which teaches that the destiny of each and every woman is to give birth to children and raise faithful Puritan Mormons, has heavily shaped the nation's view on the role of women in society, forming the basis for Banija's prior sports gender segregation laws in the first place. Consumption of alcohol and the recreational use of marijuana in Banija is legal- other harder drugs are banned. Due to Mormon tradition and church law, the purchase/sale of coffee products is illegal within Banija- however, the consumption is not. Fans and teams are allowed to bring in their own coffee products as long as they are declared at customs, where it is then taxed per pound. Any attempt or effort to sell the product, however, can and will result in arrest.

Most people in the country speak both Olusanke, the local dialect, and English. There is a smattering of both Korean and French spoken within the country, thanks to Banija's Quebecois roots. Banija's currency is the shilling. The exchange rate to the NationStates Dollar is 25 shillings to 1 NSD. Conversion kiosks will be available at all hotels and at airports to exchange your money, as well as any banks. However, using the NSDs directly to purchase items is only guaranteed at stadiums and hotels- vendors outside of stadiums or hotels are not required to accept NationStates Dollars. Fans are also advised that street vendors will generally only take cash, although more and more will take card.

Of course, Banija was for a long time known as a developing country and more of a backwater Economically. However, due to a recent discovery of large oil deposits in Hangaza during World Cup 82, the country has been engaged in an economic miracle since then, with the country reaching true developed country status. Public transit within cities is via the boda boda, though each team/delegation will have passenger busses provided by the RTC to transport players, coaches, staff, family, etc... To and from the hotel to the games and practices. The climate of Banija has a lot of natural rainforest and jungle, which means that there is no winter, only wet season and dry season. Temperatures generally range at their coldest around 60 degrees Fahrenheit, and at their hottest around 110 degrees Fahrenheit. For the duration of the tournament, average high temperatures will range from 60 to 85 degrees Fahrenheit.

Banijans have a tendency of being relaxed about time. While, of course, things like flights and matches will run on time, this is something that is observed generally, especially at restaurants. It is considered standard to arrive about 15-20 minutes late for a restaurant reservation, which is something Banijan authorities would like to make note of for travelling fans and visitors to the country for this tournament. This is very true for hangouts with Banijans, dates, weddings, etc... Within the country.

The largest international airports within Banija are South Moravica/Istria International(called SMI International), Jinja City International, and Busukuma International. These serve the country's two largest cities, and the nation's capitol. All teams and dignitaries, upon their arrival to Banija, will fly into Gonzaga International Airport in Busukuma before reaching their final destination. Gonzaga International has long been known as the 'VIP' airport, catering to the royals, high-ranking government officials, and those deemed of special importance by the Government of the day. Most flights will go to one of those three airports before flying to the host city.

In terms of food, Banijans are very heavy meat eaters, and you'll find plenty of chicken, goat meat, beef, pork, and turkey options on your localized menus. In terms of non-meats, popular staple foods are jollof, matoke, Chapati, a rolex, and samosas. Strictly vegan restaurants within the country, outside of Istria and Busukuma, are almost non-existent, though of course you'll find non-meat options everywhere.

Per the latest Census, the national population of Banija is 133 million.

Banija is also well-known for having flourishing and extensive wildlife. It has Arrosia's biggest population of the 'Big 5' game animals- lions, buffalo, leopards, rhinos, and elephants. It also has the region's largest population of hippos, zebra, and antelope. These animals can be found extrensively throughout safaris and savannahs in rural Banija. Banija is known for not only having the biggest populations of those animals in the region- but arguably some of the biggest wildest populations of those animals in the entire multiverse, although of course that is unverifiable. Furthermore, Banija is known for being the only country, to our knowledge, that has a wild, native, and healthy triceratops population- the only living dinosaur species in the country. These are found primarily in Bunyoro and Buganda. Banija has strengthened their relationship with Cardenao by working with native authorities to plant a wild triceratops population in Cardenao.

Locations

Istria, Moravica
Banija's largest port and largest city by population, this is in the Moravica region, in Northwestern Banija. It is a city of 4,728,000 people, and it is known as Banija's economic capitol. It is largely considered Banija's most diverse city. Historically, this city served as the second capitol city of the Kasanke Tribe, the historical predecessors of the modern Banijan nation. It is one of two Banijan cities with a major foreign population- the other being the nation's capitol, Busukuma. It has risen in status since its designation as an Olympic City, having co-hosted the XIV Summer Olympiad with Orean, Liventia. Nearly a third of the city holds citizenship of a country other than Banijan. More of those come from the Royal Kingdom of Quebec or the Busoga Islands, but people come from all over Arrosia and the rest of the multiverse. It is also known as Banija's wealthiest city and primary economic hub. It is home to Banija's oldest university, the University of Loyola-Istria, and to the country's biggest airport. It is also home to the Regional Transit Corporation, as well as the Istria Stock Exchange.

Istria Olympic Stadium
Capacity of 80,000

The stadium being used in Istria for the World Cup is the Istria Olympic Stadium, with a capacity of 80,000. Per implication by the stadium name, this was the designated main stadium on the Istria side for the XIV Summer Olympiad, purpose built for said event. The stadium played host to the Olympic track and field events, as well as select games in both association and gridiron football, including the medal matches in both sports. It also serves as the primary home venue for the Istria Black Mambas, one of the city's two professional gridiron teams. In soccer, It has hosted matches at AOCAF LXII, BoF 76, and Cup of Harmony 89, as well as games during the 4th and 5th Brevity Challenge Cups. It has also hosted a Hui Lā Final and an AOCL Final

Matches Held Here
Group G, Matchday 1: Saterun v. Chromatika
Group E, Matchday 2: Banija v. Ko-oren
Group H, Matchday 3: Edsmontik v. United States of Nova Calania
One Round of 32 match
One Semifinal match

Herzegovina City, Moravica
Banija's oldest city, the city by its current name is over 800 years old, when it was first conquered by the Kasanke people. It is a city with a population of over 2.9 million people. It is the heart of the Puritan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The national religion was started in this city, and the church's world headquarters, the Herzegovina Temple, is the multiverse's largest Puritan Mormon church. The Bishop of this church, formally titled the Patriarch of Herzegovina, is the most senior member of the church, and the joint head of the global church, alongside His Majesty, the Kabaka. It is home to Banija's largest university, Northern Moravica University. It served as the seat of government for the Kasanke Tribe. It is also the capitol city of the Moravica region. As the original home of the predecessors of the Banijan monarchs, all reigning monarchs are buried on the grounds of the Herzegovina Temple.

Herzegovina City had their own airport finally open just prior to World Cup 83. It is not the largest airport, and much traffic is still directed through Istria. Still, it has permanent international status, and is a city looking to continuously place themselves on the map.

Star Field
Capacity of 68,600

Star Field is the oldest Banijan stadium that is going to be used for this World Cup. It is one of those rare stadiums that is being used for the third time at a World Cup, having hosted games both at World Cup 81 and World Cup 83. It is the home stadium of Herzegovina City FC, who are widely considered to be Banija's biggest soccer club.

Matches Held Here
Group H, Matchday 1: Zenic v. Edsmontik
Group F, Matchday 2: Valanora v. Osterhalten
Group G, Matchday 3: Doubeia v. Chromatika
One Round of 16 match

Busukuma, National Capitol Region
This is the nation's capitol, located on the country's Southern coastline. Puritan Mormons believe that their God told the-then chief of the Kasanke, Kabonero III, that he should conquer all of the land that is currently Banija, gave the country it's name(therefore killing the name of the Kasanke nation), and put the capitol in the South. He did it, made Busukuma the capitol, and declared himself Banija's first Maharaja, or Emperor. As the nation's capitol for over 400 years, the city has been the spot for many major events in Banijan history, and the seat of plenty of foreign embassies, a large foreign population, and Banija's first airport.

The city, of course, is known for having two airports- the public, international airport, called Busukuma International, and also the non-public airport, named Gonzaga International Airport- reserved for the royal family and their guests, elected national politicians, foreign diplomats, and the point of entry for high-ranking officials to avoid the general public. Heads of State/Government, Foreign Ministers, AOCAF officials, host committee members, and national teams, upon their first arrival into Banija, will fly into Gonzaga International.

The city is also known for its large Farf population in the La Olla neighborhood, with over 800,000 Busukumans claiming ancestry to Farfadillis- the vast majority first or second generation from there, thanks to the Farf Civil War. That is around 20% of the city's population.

Stadium of the Restoration
Capacity of 101,835

The national stadium, the Stadium of the Restoration, sits 101,835. It is the country's largest non-racing stadium. On the stadium's site, in 1835, the Banijan monarchy was restored at this site in Banija's first declaration of independence from the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. When the RBSA was formed, it was the obvious site to build the national stadium. The original facility sat 69,000, and was then, as it is now, Banija's largest soccer stadium. It was home to the Banijan national soccer and gridiron teams, and hosted plenty of international tournaments, including the Finals of a UICA Globe Cup, World Bowl and a Baptism of Fire. However, the ageing facility needed to be rebuilt so that one could fit the WCC's 80,000 seater minimum requirement to host a World Cup opening match, as required when the country co-hosted World Cup 81. The stadium is jointly owned and operated by the Olympic Committee of Banija, the GFLB(Gridiron Football League of Banija), the BCSG(Banijan Collegiate Sports Group), and the RBSA(Royal Banijan Soccer Association).

The bid from AEP, an architectural firm from Siovanija & Teusland, won the bid to build a new Stadium of the Restoration on the same site in time for World Cup 81. The brand new stadium's capacity, according to the bid, is a nod to Banija's history, of the year that made the site famous in 1835. It has a retractable natural grass surface, used for soccer, and a retractable articifial turf surface, used for gridiron football and during ceremonies like coronations. There are no gaps between the stands, while the South Stand is a single tier, designed to amplify crowd noise. The stadium contains 35 suites, 1 of which is always reserved for RBSA executives, and the second always received for His Majesty, the Kabaka. They built the stadium to a capacity of 91,835. The last 4 digits of the capacity are intentional- 1835, after the year of the restoration of the Banijan monarchy.

However, in preparation for the Golden anniversary of the World Bowl, as well as to prep it to host its first ever World Cup Final, the owners of this stadium oversaw an 10,000 seat expansion, to 101,835- which makes it the largest stadium in the country. And, of course, still ending with 1835. This meant that the stadium was closed for World Cup 98 Qualifiers.

This stadium is Banija's most prestigious- having hosted more championship matches than any other. In soccer, this stadium has hosted both the opening match and one of the semifinals of both World Cup 81 and World Cup 83, The final of both AOCAF LVIII and LXII, the Baptism of Fire 67 and 76 Finals, the Cup of Harmony 76 and 89 Finals, and two IFCF Champions League Finals. In gridiron, this stadium has hosted two NSCF Finals and three World Bowl Finals, as well as being the annual host of the NSCF Celestia Conference Championship game, and the NSCF Mugisha III Memorial Bowl. It is also the annual host of three of the most important games on the Banijan gridiron calendar- the BCSG National Championship Game, the Simba Bowl(aka the GFLB title game), and Army v. Navy. Domestic cup Finals, and Promotion playoff finals, are played here.

Basically the only thing the stadium hasn't hosted is a World Cup Final- and this cycle, it will host that to bring the set.

Matches Held Here
Group E, Matchday 1: Kanzlia v. Banija
Group G, Matchday 2: Chromatika v. Kelssek
Group F, Matchday 3: Aphrilia v. Valanora
One Quarterfinal
World Cup Final

Jinja City, Hangaza
This city of 3.3 million people is Banija's largest inland city, and the third largest city in the entire country, in terms of population. This city is the economic center of the Hangaza region, even if its political capitol lies towards the East, in Aissa. Despite being an inland city, it is rapidly diversifying- with migrant groups from across Arrosia, that want a cheaper cost-of-living than the traditional migrant hubs along the Banijan coastline, are moving here in bigger numbers.

Historically, the city is known for being the spiritual home of one of Banija's minority ethnic groups- the Akamba. It is also sight of the first battle of the Kasanke conquest, when they moved from the Moravican coast to take over the entirety of what is now Banija. The city is named after Banija's biggest river, the Jinja River.

Stadium- BCEL Stadium
Capacity of 52,400

This stadium has a capacity of 52,400. Sponsored by the soft drink company BCEL from Baker Park. It was built to attract matches for BoF 67, and is considered one of Banija's premier stadiums. It is home to Banijan club Jinja City FC, one of Banija's Super 5 clubs. It is one of quite a few stadiums in Banija that are shared between the soccer and the gridiron teams. It has hosted matches at basically every prior WCC tournament that Banija has ever hosted.

Matches Held Here
Group H, Matchday 1: Baggieland v. United States of Nova Calania
Group G, Matchday 2: Saterun v. Doubeia
Group F, Matchday 3: Osterhalten v. West Barack and East Obama
One Round of 32 match

Aissa, Hangaza
This city of 1.6 million is one that is rapidly growing, and finding itself on the map. The regional capitol of Hangaza is situated on Banija's eastern border with Geisenfried, and is quickly becoming one of Banija's largest cities. It's kind of a counter-cultural city. Known for its strong Yue minority community, it is also known for having a big autoracing community- both things that are quite obviously rare within the Kingdom. But like the rest of this country, it's a sports mad town- and one obviously where this sport dominates.

Despite all that, Aissa is the closest thing that Banija has to a true 'hipster' community. If you want to be counter-cultural, this is the place to be.

Stadium- Hangaza Unified Stadium

This is stadium is not that new, but has a capacity of 55,000. It is the largest stadium for a Banijan team that is not in the top flight. While Aissa United regularly fill the stadium, their high attendance and strong fan support doesn't generally translate towards on-field success. Even though it's not that large of a city, the stadium has always been an excellent piece of infrastructure, right on the outskirts of the regional capitol.

Matches Held Here
Group E, Matchday 1: Ko-oren v. Reçueçn
Group F, Matchday 2: West Barack and East Obama v. Aphrilia
Group H, Matchday 3: Zenic v. Baggieland
One Round of 32 match

Hoima, Ankole
Now, while Hoima wasn't a shoe-in per say, it was never really going to be left off of the host list, was it? A city with 2.5 million people, one with a stadium as large as theirs, and the hosting experience- Hoima was always going to be chosen. Now, of course, for a city of its size, it is probably the least multi-cultural big city in Banija, besides maybe Mynda- not surprising considering it is an inland city. Despite that, it is considered very left-wing by Banijan standards. It is probably considered Banija's most secular city, at least xulturally.

Stadium- Mavuto Field
Capacity of 75,000

This is a stadium that was built before AOCAF LVIII, and it is a joint shared stadium between the Hoima Warriors, the S-FPL soccer club, and the Hoima Zebra- the GFLB gridiron team. Ergo, it has plenty of hosting experience hosting games at major WCC and World Bowl events.

Matches Held Here
Group F, Matchday 1: Osterhalten v. Aphrilia
Group E, Matchday 2: Kanzlia v. Reçueçn
Group G, Matchday 3: Kelssek v. Saterun
One Round of 16 match

Sisonke, Kitara
Sisonke, Kitara, is the capitol city in the fast growing Kitara Region of Banija. With a population around 1.2 million and growing rapidly, it is a city that is trying to make a name for itself. Just about an hour south of Istria, it is considered a 'new age' city- rapid population growth in recent years makes it a great hub for single young professionals in Banija. Its rapid rise to prominence in Banija means that it is more regularly being selected to host games at major tournaments, and the excitement is palpable. It is most well known for being home to former IFCF Champions League winners, the Kitara Athletic Association.

Keystone Stadium

Keystone Stadium(cap. 47,000) is the home of Kitara Athletic Association, the professional sporting club that has had a rapid rise alongside the city of Sisonke. Always traditionally considered one of the 'best of the rest' clubs, they thought they briefly shed that title when they had a two year span that was the best in club history, and some of the best we've ever seen. They stunned the world by storming up the S-FPL table to win the league, and then beyond that- went out there and won the entire IFCF Champions League the very next season. That is now getting in the fairly distant past, as they are part of the 'best of the rest' club- but no matter, the only S-FPL team with a Champions League trophy is going to sing about it until another club earns that trophy. The only team on either side of the Shango-Fogoa Basin to do so, to date. The stadium is sponsored by Keystone Bank of Eura.

Matches Held Here
Group G, Matchday 1: Kelssek v. Doubeia
Group H, Matchday 2: United States of Nova Calania v. Zenic
Group E, Matchday 3: Ko-oren v. Kanzlia
One Round of 32 match

Dodoma, Bunyoro
The Bunyoro Region is now primarily seen as a basketball region, as basketball is the region's highest rated sport in terms of attendance, youth participation, and TV ratings. Still, this being a sports mad country, soccer is still very popular here, even if it's been years since the region has had a team in Banija's top flight. That team is Bunyoro RSC- more internationally known for their lacrosse success than soccer, who play in Dodoma, a city with just over 1.2 million people. Locals joke that while in the rest of Banija, there is dry season and wet season, in Bunyoro, there is wet and wetter season- it has some of the highest rates of rainfall in all of Arrosia.

Albert III Memorial Stadium

This was built for World Cup 81 under a different name, Paa Nuepe, and is currently used by Bunyoro RSC. However, after the assassination of the current Kabaka's father, Kabaka Albert III, during World Cup 82 Qualifying, this stadium was named after him. It has featured in numerous tournaments, with World Cup 81 obviously being the most famous. When Banija won Eagle's Cup VIII, however, this stadium would be renamed again, and designated the country's official Eagle's Club venue. With a stadium capacity of 48,600, and with revolutionary field drainage technology, thoughtful considering the amount of rain that this region gets, this will be some of Banijan engineering technology on full display. Due to the unique structure of the roof, the sound is made to go down onto the ground, and when it is full, it is considered one of the loudest venues in the country. Now of course, considering the pitiful state of Bunyoro RSC, this stadium is rarely full, but what if...

With the destruction of the Eagles Club following the Vilitan cheating scandal, this stadium has reverted back to its second name- the Albert III Memorial Stadium. Since this used to be the country's official Eagle's Club venue, a number of amenities have been added for luxury suite holders. For those in luxury boxes, there is access to a 'VIP Club', formerly known as the 'Eagles Club'. which hosts a fancy exclusive bar, a workout room, and even an indoor pool(that is not open on Matchday). FA executives for teams playing at this stadium will get access to those amenities.

It also features elite field draining technology, as just because rain is frequent here, they are able to maintain the quality of their grass pitches.

Matches Held Here
Group F, Matchday 1: West Barack and East Obama v. Valanora
Group H, Matchday 2: Baggieland v. Edsmontik
Group E, Matchday 3: Reçueçn v. Banija
One Round of 32 match

by **Of the Golden Harp** » Sun May 11, 2025 1:54 pm

The Golden Harp started their post World Cup journey in the MU-CLEC invitational, but got knocked out by Woodsmere right away 2-1. Soon after this was the CLECSC2 in Epicly Amazing Giraffes and Celtic London. The streets of Dublin were filled with fans anxious to see the opening match against A Defensive Union, some even made the journey to Celtic London. They were not disappointed as the Holy Harps won 2-1. Next the Holy Harps were to play the hosts of the qualifiers, Celtic London. The Holy Harps destroyed them 4-0 on English soil. Next was the laughing stock of the CLEC, Dumpland, who almost shocked the world, but was defeated 3-2. Next was Little Bearizium, who was then defeated 2-0. The Holy Harps played Notcommunist2 next, who they defeated 4-3. For match six The Golden Harp was to play EAG, perhaps the biggest match so far. That ended 1-1, but with suspicious calls by the ref. The Holy Harps then ravaged Tangho 4-1 without a challenge. By this point they had taken first place in their qualifying group, so the subs played the match against Port of Sernet, which was a 1-0 victory. They were not Holy Harps went the entire qualifier undefeated, and had their rest day day nine of nine. They were not Holy Harps then made their way to Elysium where they were in a group with Eucrates, Baobabs, and Lacivea. The Golden Harp thrashed Baobabs 3-1, and continued their dominance in a 4-0 obliteration of Lacivea. Things were capped with a 3-0 victory over rivals Eucrates, who managed to sneak through the group in second place. The Golden Harp were matched against Middle Alba who finished in a disappointing second, but then Middle Alba scored two early goals, and the Holy Harps couldn’t come back, with Arlo O’Burn even hitting the post thrice, but it was not to be, and Middle Alba defeated EAG and then Eucrates to win the CLECSC2. The Golden Harp then played in the IAC, where they didn’t get a single win. Next was the MetCup, in which The Holy Harps won their first game against Natkr 2-0, but then Middle MetCup got suspended indefinitely before match two. The Holy Harps hope to finish mid table and don’t expect to qualify, but with a tactical expert like Sigmund Reynolds you never know. People eagerly await the first whistle blow, and preparations are being made throughout the country to accommodate the huge popularity of soccer. This will be the last major tournament of goalkeeper Jason O’Finnegan, and the first for midfielders Hal Perrot and Ninniau Steed. Will the Holy Harps find success, or will this just be a stepping stone for the future? Only time will tell.

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Sun May 11, 2025 2:58 pm

So this is both something I need to put a content warning on and something where this really is inherently spoilerific; this RP has details of a deadly plane crash. (The direct inspiration came from Air France Flight 447 and Aeroperú Flight 603.)

This actually started as the wild solution to a silly problem - namely, that my IC player ages are completely desynced between my domestic and international cycles. It was participating in Queb's WBC60 arc about the airline market for flights between our respective nations that planted the seed of an idea, especially when he mentioned the dangers of the route. And as I realised just how many RP opportunities this narrative would provide, I realised that yes, this was worth pulling the trigger on. I made sure I didn't take out any dual nationals or internationally-based players - partly because I didn't want to provide collateral damage to other RPers, partly because these players will either have properly tracked ages c/o other users or can retire from international competition because of grief.

Also, on a purely OOC note; while I don't expect to have to suddenly leave NSS again like I did after those Olympic hosting days, I wanted to feel like I had an IC "out" for if and when that changed. As this arc progresses, you'll see how that plays out (and how the narrative also provides a route for a partial departure), but for now, it's just background that could mean nothing, could mean everything, and the very fact it's unclear is an explicit narrative plan at my end.

Acknowledgements go to Queb for the discussions that facilitated the technical details of this arc; to Ban for agreeing to a pre-qual friendly as part of the setup for it; to Tumbra, for scorinating that one; and to Qusmo, for being officially the first to scorinate using (the alpha version of) my in-development LISA scorinator, for the preceding match with a Q-League All-Stars team. The details for that scorination: Q-League All-Stars rank 21.093, style +5; The Kytler Peninsulae rank 20.68, style -1.093; provisional default settings (power scalar 1.984, reference rank 10.93, REAR 300 - the meaning of those will be explained when LISA exits testing phase).

Anyway, here goes...

by **Audioslavia** » Sun May 11, 2025 3:02 pm

1

The Warriors Come Out to Play
Written: March 2023, February 2024, April 2025

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”

:- Chuck Swindoll. Pastor, Preacher, Box-to-Box Midfielder.

Imagine a hundred people flipping coins. Cameras everywhere, the world transfixed by every outcome. The best flippers, those who get heads more often than not, are given praise, social status and precious metals. The media is enraptured from start to finish. Rivalries are created, friendships are struck, flipping hands take on personalities of their own. You see one of them selling cuff-links on a billboard near your home, one of them is apparently dating someone in the movie industry (a grip) and at a certain time of year, the only thing people talk about is the FingerBowl.

So you start to dream. *You* could do that. You’re as deserving of praise and respect as anyone else. Your flipping hand is strong and sinewy, your coin shiny and aerodynamic, your thumb handsome, charming and cheeky. A media darling. Good on talk shows. Svelte. So you sign up. You take your place. You wave to the cameras. You take your coin. And you flip.

Tails.

That’s fine. To be expected. It’s your first go after all. Go again.

Tails. Tails.

It’s okay. Three isn’t a pattern. Three is a backstory. A setback the history books will say you overcame with courage and dignity.

Tails. Tails.

Okay, by now everyone else has gotten at least one head, most two or three. You’re one of five flippers who have none. And those other four are nerds. Casuals. Barely paying attention. You’re busy learning from your mistakes, reading books on flipping tactics in your spare time, working out, getting stronger. You’re itching to show the world just what you can do.

Tails. Tails.

Statistically, this should happen. Given the amount of flippers we have, at least one person should be coming up with losing throws. But why is it *you*. Why is it always *you*. Maybe if you just concentrate this time. Block out the competition. It’s just you and the coin.

Tails. Tails.

By now, even the nerds have a head or two. You *should* have had one by now. Why aren’t you flipping any heads? You’re all ready to go when it *does* happen. Multiple cameras to show action replays from all angles, interviews with the family, articles on your right hand’s training regime and the importance of its background in magic, tiddlywinks and banking.

Tails. Tails.

You change it up. Maybe your hand is injured? Maybe your coin has been tampered with? Maybe it’s time to introduce your young, exciting new substitute, Lefty? What a story it will make when the shy young rookie turns out to be a natural.

Tails. Tails.

I mean well of course, throwing Lefty into the pressure cooker of world coin-flipping was never going to work straight away. Lefty needs time to bed in, learn the playbook, gain the trust of the coin. Maybe it is the coin? Is this even real copper? You should have a word with your sportswear supplier, Ea-Sports. In the mean time, let's change it up for a nickel alloy, that’ll…

Tails. Tails.

You fire your flipping coach. A sign of desperation? No! Of course not. Just ask your nation's press, who will back you up on this 100%. I mean what other explanation could there be than an issue at management level? Anyway, to hell with this year's competition, you’re playing for pride now. No, even better, you’re setting yourself up for the next edition. You just need to go out on a high.

Tails.

The best flippers are all on the boat by now. Everyone else is quietly optimistic for next season. You’re just standing there with your coin. You did everything right. You did everything everyone else did. Why did this happen to you?

A steep and thorough descent into abject madness is completely forgiven for each and every new entrant to the Nationstates World Cup. The journey from the tail to the head of the rankings is one many take, but few ever complete. The differences between success and failure on this journey are marginal. It’s coin flips all the way up.

Good thing about descents into madness, though. They’re fun to look at 20 years down the line.

Remember to be patient with our team because its their first World Cup, and nations tend to do poorly in their first Cup.”
Praying2God - 2004-01-02

In order to *descend*, you have to start with something keeping you off the ground. Not physically, I'm not talking hills or stepladders. Things like Dignity. Hope. Ambition. A Steadfast Dedication to Not Looking Facts In The Face. In most cases, it's a form of Causal Hubris. In other words, an utterly naive belief that anything you do can have a direct effect on how well the team plays. Team talks, changes of tactics, substituting Righty for Lefty, they give the illusion of control. They fool you into thinking you’re making progress. But the more progress you think you’ve made, the more room you’ve put between yourself and the ground, and the further you have to free-fall when Margaret brings you down to earth.

In terms of the illusion of control, Praying2God have it worse than most. Just look at their choice of manager,

0-1 vs Anti Nazis
Jesus Christ: I'm proud of our team. They played well, and never gave up the hope that we could come out of the game with at least one point towards qualifying. Anti-Nazis just managed to convert one more scoring opportunity than we did, that's all. Both teams came off that field winners today.
Praying2God - 2004-01-02

0-0 vs Iansisle
I spoke with head coach Jesus Christ after the game, and he was somewhat satisfied with the result. However, he echoed the statement made by the captain and suggested that we might see some changes made to try to shake up the offense.
Praying2God - 2004-01-04

We’re sure Jesus Christ has turned out for other international football teams. As the joke goes, He’s notable for being a goalkeeper. Here, in His role of manager, He’s struggling a little.

0-3 vs Cockbill Street
It was just announced a few minutes ago just what the changes were that Praying2God Head Coach Jesus Christ promised after their humiliating 0-3 loss to Cockbill Street yesterday. It seems that he has gone with a youth movement, if nothing else to give them some experience for the next World Cup. The most notable change is that Joshua Harris, who played so admirably in the second half of the loss to Cockbill Street, will make his first start in the next match, at home against Liverpool England.
Praying2God - 2004-01-05

In an attempt to take control of his team’s destiny, Jesus Christ tries the righty/lefty trick, changing up the team’s goalkeeper by removing the established C.S. Lewis and throwing in the young understudy, Joshua Harris.

Just quickly: First team goalkeeper C.S. Lewis, reserve goalkeeper Joshua Harris. Do you recognise one, both or neither of those names? One is more noteworthy than the other. In 2025, it's not even close which name is more recogniseable. In 2004? Let's just say it's a little closer. Keep that with you, we'll return to this later.

Swapping out Lewis for Harris has to work. Regardless of the scoreline. It has to work. Because if it doesn't work, then you have no control over what's happening. As Epicurus once said during a game of Football Manager -289/-288: "Is God willing to prevent three-nil drubbings, but not able? Then His job security surely depends on a vote of confidence from the board."

0-3 vs Liverpool England
Jesus Christ: Even though we may have lost on the scoreboard, we scored a moral victory today. We held LE to only three goals when they have already put up more than that in other games in qualifying. … Hopefully, we've made it through the tough part of our schedule and we can start winning some games against defenses that are not as formidable as the ones we've faced so far. After all, we haven't seen either of the other rookie teams in our pool yet, so we have a good chance to win a couple of games before getting back into this group of teams in the second half of qualifying.
Praying2God - 2004-01-06

Top 3 RPing Nations
1. Oglethorpia (9 RPs)
2. The Belmore Family (7 RPs)
3. Rejistania (6 RPs)
3. Praying2God (6 RPs)
OOC: Anybody else find it funny that I'm amongst the top RPing nations, and yet my team is struggling mightily to score or win?
Praying2God - 2004-01-07

Trying to make sense out of random numbers is an art form. You’re vaguely aware that your team is getting better. They must be getting better. You’re just waiting for the tide to turn. As soon as you get over this hump, then you can really get going.

2-1 vs Pablicosta
In the first half, captain Martin Luther took a pass from Martin Luther King Jr. and sent a rocket past the Pablicosta keeper. Then in the second half, young Cassie Bernall, in only her second World Cup appearance took a cross from Dietrich Bonhoeffer and headed it into the net for a 2-0 lead. Late in the game, Pablicosta cut the lead to one on a freak own goal when James Dobson hit Chuck Colson in the back of the head on a clearing attempt and the ball bounced past a stunned Joshua Harris and into the net. Pope John Paul came on for Dobson and played admirably.
Praying2God - 2004-01-07

The thing is, there is no hump. Tides are driven by narrative, and there is no narrative in random numbers. For all Jesus’s words, he simply isn’t the pre-eminent deity of this universe. Margaret doesn’t work in mysterious ways. She doesn’t work at all. Able to effect change, but not willing, Margaret punches Epicurus in the mouth for even thinking of looking at her pint, and can generally be found smoking roll-ups on a beach-side deck chair, watching chaos unfold in the way only chaos can.

Praying2God lose six of their next seven games.

Sometimes it's close.

0-1 vs The Lowland Clans
TLC got their goal when James Dobson turned the ball over in his own box and Joshua Harris couldn't get over in time to keep the ball out of the net. After that Praying2God dominated the game, but couldn't manage to score the equalizer.
Praying2God - 2004-01-09

Sometimes, the side are so oppressed that you'd be forgiven for thinking they were in a mid-budget straight-to-DVD movie about honest god-fearing fair-haired teenagers in the far-flung future year of 2013 where Christianity is banned and their only hope to prevent the evil urban Gun-Collecting trucks from taking papa's rifle is to teach them about Jesus.

0-1 vs Beestings

SHAM DOES IN WARRIORS!!!

Praying2God's match against the nation of Beestings was decided before the opening whistle when six of Praying2God's starters were given red cards for "uniform violations." Beestings went on to win the game 1-0 on a goal in the 89th minute. Praying2God played the game under protest, and a committee is investigating the allegations of misconduct by the referees. Meanwhile, it has been announced that because the red cards should never have been given out, the suspensions that normally come with a red card have been waived for the Praying2God players. World Cup Officials have also apologized to the entire Praying2God team and their fans. The players sent off included captain Martin Luther, midfielders Cassie Bernall and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, defensemen James Dobson and Pope John Paul, and forward John Calvin. All members of the Praying2God and Beestings teams were unavailable for comment after the game.
Praying2God - 2004-01-09

2-0 vs Anti-Nazis
The Praying2God Warriors earned their first ever World Cup victory at home yesterday against the Anti-Nazis 2-0 at the House of Prayer before a packed house of 90,000 screaming fans. This was expected to be a close game because Praying2God had lost 0-1 at Anti-Nazis in their first ever World Cup match. It was a well fought game by both teams, and after the first half the scoreboard was barren. However, in the 52nd minute Francis of Assisi converted a penalty kick for a 1-0 lead. Later on, captain Martin Luther scored his second goal of the Cup on a cross from fellow forward John Calvin in the 84th minute to complete the scoring. Joshua Harris made 9 saves for his first World Cup shutout. The Warriors next visit Iansisle with whom they drew 0-0 in their first meeting.
Praying2God 2004-01-11

Sometimes they're out-battled.

1-3 vs Iansisle
WARRIORS OUTBATTLED (AGAIN)

Praying2God was no match for Iansisle today on the road. However, they did manage a late goal to avoid the shutout. Iansisle scored once in the first half on an ugly goal that bounced off of Pope John Paul to an open Iansisle player who promptly burried the shot before Joshua Harris could recover. Then in the early second half, Iansisle converted a penalty shot after Cassie Bernall fouled a player in the box. After Praying2God cut the lead to one on a goal by John Calvin in the 81st minute, off a corner by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, it looked like they might come back to salvage a point, but Iansisle capitalized on another mental lapse by the Praying2God defense and added an insurance goal to win 3-1.

Head Coach Jesus Christ was very dissapointed in his team's defense effort today
Praying2God 2004-01-12

Sometimes they're out-duelled.

1-3 vs Cockbill Street
WARRIORS OUTDUELED ON COCKBILL STREET

The Praying2God Warriors were beaten up by Cockbill Street yesterday in the nation of Cockbill Street. The Warriors jumped out to an early 1-0 lead when Dietrich Bonhoeffer managed to head the ball into the net in the 4th minute on a cross by captain Martin Luther. However, C. S. Lewis' return to the net proved disastorous for the Warriors, as Cockbill Street answered the Warriors goal with three first half goals of their own. Consequently, Praying2God Head Coach Jesus Christ made the move (again) to Joshua Harris, who didn't start because he had pulled a muscle in warm-ups. Harris was an improvement as he only allowed one goal in the second half, despite the injury. Harris is supposed to be full strength in time for the Warriors next game at Liverpool England (ouch). Head Coach Jesus Christ was overheard telling his team after the game that he liked the fact that they were scoring, but they needed to keep the ball out of the net as well.
Praying2God 2004-01-13

They lose to Champions.

0-1 vs Liverpool England
WARRIORS FALL JUST SHORT IN BID FOR MONUMENTAL UPSET

The Praying2God Warriors almost pulled off one of the all-time greatest upsets in World Cup history in their game at Liverpool England. LE, which came into the game unbeaten in qualifying suffered a tremendous let down at home. The Warriors came out looking for blood after being demolished 0-3 at home by LE earlier in qualifying. Most of the game was contested in the midfield area, with each team managing a few opportunities. Both goalies played admirably, making saves on the few opportunities the other team managed. However, in stoppage time at the end of the game, LE was awarded a penalty shot on a questionable call by the referee. The ref soon made an even more questionable call, as he blew the whistle to end the game at about the same time as the ball crossed the goal line. After a good fifteen minutes of discussion between the referee and the linesman, the goal was allowed to stand, giving the Warriors yet another heartbreaking defeat.
Praying2God 2004-01-15

They lose to Randoms.

0-2 vs Pablicosta
WARRIORS MISSING IN BATTLE AT HOME

The Praying2God Warriors seemed to not show up for their game against Pablicosta played before a packed house at the House of Prayer. The result was a humiliating 0-2 defeat that dropped the Warriors into last place in their group with only two matches to play. The frustration could easily be heard in Praying2God Head Coach Jesus Christ's voice at the post-match press conference. The Warriors hope to get the ship righted in time for their last two matches of their debut in the World Cup.
Praying2God 2004-01-15

They just lose.

0-3 vs The Lowland Clans
WARRIORS BEATEN BADLY BY THE LOWLAND CLANS

The Praying2God Warriors put up a horrible effort yesterday against The Lowland Clans and lost 0-3. It appears that the Warriors are just trying to finish so they can regroup for the next cup. It was clear to all in attendance at TLC that the Warriors were not mentally in the game. The home crowd was even booed their own team each time the Warriors gained possession. Praying2God Head Coach Jesus Christ has promised a shake up of the roster for the next World Cup.
Praying2God 2004-01-17

The performance borders on pathetic. Really pathetic. As pathetic as, say, a forty year old man searching quarter-century old forum threads on the wayback machine in order to dunk on teenage fundamentalist christians for committing the sin of using their own cultural references on a sports world-building game they like.

You have to be a little impressed by the fact that, with increasingly nothing to play for and with the random number gods slapping them hard around the back of the head every day, Praying2God just keep going. They reach all over the place for RP inspiration. Thing is, ‘all over the place’ naturally means ‘from between 1997 to 2004’, which means we get things like this incredibly busy intern.

Bill and Jim have been fired and their TV station has gone bankrupt becuase of the affair the two men had with one of Bill's interns.
Praying2God - 2004-01-09

My favourite trope is the fact that such a Holy team is constantly beset by bad luck. So much bad luck. If you were a religious man, you could almost call them acts of God. You'll find an example in this unfortunate ending to their final group game.

1-1 vs Beestings
The Warriors took an early lead when captain Martin Luther found an open Martin Luther King Jr. at the top of the box in the 17th minute for a 1-0 lead. It looked like the Warriors were going to close with a victory until the last seconds of stoppage time at the end of the game when Mother Theresa had a clearing attempt take a strange bounce off her and past keeper Joshua Harris to tie the score. :cry: The whistle blew before the Warriors were able to kick-off. There are major shake-ups coming to the Praying2God roster, which will be announced once they have occured.
Praying2God 2004-01-19

Praying2God end the campaign with nothing. Arguably less than they started with, as the hit to their sanity can’t be understated. Yet this is the calm before the storm. Even before the end of World Cup 11, things will take a turn for the worse. Let’s take advantage of the quiet for a second to look at the Praying2God roster that just went 2-2-10. It’s fascinating.

Head Coach: Jesus Christ
Assistant Coach: Simon Peter "The Rock"
Goaltending Coach: John the Beloved
Trainer: Saul "Paul" the Evangelist

Goalie: C.S. Lewis #4, age 24*
Goalie: Joshua Harris #16, age 17
Defenseman: Mother Teresa #2, age 28*
Defenseman: William Tyndale #5, age 19*
Defenseman: Chuck Colson #19, age 26*
Defenseman: Michael W. Smith #17, age 19*
Defenseman: Pope John Paul #3, age 28
Defenseman: James Dobson #21, age 26
Midfielder: Billy Graham #8, age 27*
Midfielder: Dietrich Bonhoeffer #7, age 20*
Midfielder: Martin Luther King Jr. #9, age 19*
Midfielder: Augustine #6, age 27
Midfielder: Cassie Bernall #15, age 15
Midfielder: Chuck Swindoll #22, age 26
Forward: Martin Luther #11 (captain), age 24*
Forward: Charles Wesley #13, age 26*
Forward: John Wesley #14, age 27*
Forward: John Calvin #20, age 24
Forward: Francis of Assisi #18, age 20
Forward: Constantine #10, age 25

Okay. You can see the general theme. However, I’ll wager that you can’t put a face to every name in the team. Sure, you know half of them. Pope John Paul? Pious guy. Wee hat. Somewhat out of position at left back. Mother Teresa? Saint. Nurse. Bit Racist. Martin Luther? The holy guy with the nails. No, the other one. Francis of Assisi? Yeah he's definitely a religious guy from your brain, who cares that you can't remember where. John Calvin? Two-word answer to the question ‘why are Scotsmen like that’. Dietrich Bonhoeffer? German priest. Criticized Nazis.

So who are these other guys?

John and Charles Wesley were noted 18th century methodists. William Tyndale is on the protestantism Mount Rushmore along with Martin Luther, The Queen, flags, pharisaicality and living in a small grey house.

So the other names, are they venerable ancient theologians as well?

No they are not.

That young backup goalkeeper Joshua Harris wasn’t only saving his team, he was also saving himself. Author of the 1997 book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, he was a vocal advocate for a “biblically correct” approach to dating. It's as fun as it sounds. Does such an approach work? Well, twenty years after his book became a bestseller, the author would divorce his wife, leave his pastoral job and denounce Christianity altogether. Just goalkeeper things. The number one, C.S. Lewis, is the early 20th century author of the famed chilren's book The Chronicles of Narnia. He's in this team for his work as an Anglican theologian. If he later went on to leave his lion, divorce his witch and denounce wardrobes altogether, it’s undocumented.

Of the two Chucks, Swindoll was a reasonably uncontroversial megachurch pastor, whereas evangelical christian Chuck Colson was a special advisor in the Nixon administration and the first man to be incarcerated as a result of the Watergate scandal. He’s somehow not the only one here with an association to Tricky Dick. Billy Graham’s Wikipedia page has an extensive section on controversies, with the most prominent being the Watergate recordings of him disparaging Jews. The other sections are entitled ‘views of homosexuality’ and ‘views on women’.

It gets worse.

The first line of James Dobson’s wikipedia page says he “is an American evangelical Christian psychologist,” which frankly makes him sound terrifying. Putting “American evangelical Christian” before any job generally feels like a nice way of saying “Absolutely Not A”. A quick search for the word ‘controversy’ highlights the sentences “Dobson clarifies Pro-Gay SpongeBob Video Controversy”, “Controversial Evangelical Leader Conducts Prayer At Coca-Cola 600” and a longer section about the time Dobson made so much money from allowing Ted Bundy to explain away his rape and murder of thirty women that he was able to make considerable donations to various anti-abortion groups.

And yet that, somehow, is not the worst inclusion in the roster. Before I tell you who that is, it’s time for Praying2God’s post-qualifying roleplays. They’re not competing in the World Cup, but they feel compelled to press on regardless.

:shock: ***BREAKING STORY***

TERRORIST OPENS FIRE AT TEAM BUS

A terrorist from an unidentified country opened fire at the Praying2God Warriors team bus on its way back to the hotel the team was staying at for their match against Beestings. The lone gunman was heard shouting anti-religious comments at the team before opening fire. Unfortunately, nobody got a good look at the terrorist, and he got away before he could be apprehended. Several players were wounded, including some seriously. More details as we get them. Anybody with information is asked to contact the Praying2God police immediately.

Praying2God 2004-01-19

I lack the wherewithal to think of an ‘anti-religious comment’ one might make when gunning down christians with an automatic weapon. “Transubstantiation doubting is for wankers” maybe, but then Pope John Paul is there too. His stance of 'transubstantiation is fine but you probably shouldn't have that gun' would be at odds with his team-mates for two reasons.

**UPDATE**
TRAGEDY STRIKES WARRIORS

A short time ago, Information Minister John Williams announced that young Praying2God midfielder Cassie Bernall had died from her wounds suffered during the terrorist attack on the team bus yesterday afternoon. Williams also announced that two other players are in critical condition and not expected to survive. However, he did not release those names because "the families have not been reached as of this time." It has also been reported that a number of other players were wounded, and some of those wounds may be career ending. There are no leads regarding who the terrorist was. More details as they are released.

Praying2God 2004-01-20

The Praying2God squad suffered another blow today when their whole coaching staff resigned to focus their attention completely on spiritual matters. The previously announced shake-up of the roster will still take place because the Praying2God Soccer Committee is in agreement with the coaching staff that drastic changes need to be made. It is rumored that as few as two or three players will be back on the roster for World Cup XII. Reports also state that some of the players who will not be back on the roster will be offered the coaching positions.
Praying2God 2004-01-21

Now that all the wounded players' families have been notified we can release a list of who was wounded and how severe their injuries are.

Cassie Bernall-already went home to be with her Lord
Dietrich Bonhoeffer-not expected to survive
Martin Luther King Jr.-not expected to survive
Charles Wesley-wounds are career ending
John Wesley-wounds are career ending
Chuck Colson-wounds are career ending
Chuck Swindoll-wounds are career ending
John Calvin-could potentially come back
William Tyndale-could potentially come back
That's all we know for right now. We'll bring you more details as they unfold.
Praying2God 2004-01-21

Okay. So here's the question:

Who is Cassie Bernall?

We've seen her three times in the quotes above, scoring a header, being unfairly sent off for a uniform violation and fouling an Iansisle player to concede a penalty. Maybe you're from a certain part of the United States and you've heard of people like Billy Graham and Chuck Swindoll, and didn't need the foreigner linking wikipedia at you, but I'll wager you're still looking at that name and coming up blank.

Okay. Take a deep breath. When you click on the link below, you might recognise the picture immediately. If not, scroll a little further down on the right. I'll be reading this next part of the story. Join me when you're done.

Cassie Bernall.

MANHUNT CLOSE TO CULPRIT
In a brief press conference held this evening, Information Minister John Williams announced that the police were closing in on the culprit who fired at the Praying2God Warriors team bus after their last game in World Cup XI. He refused to give out any information on the suspect until they had apprehended him. We'll bring you that news when we get it.
Praying2God 2004-01-25

***BREAKING NEWS!!!!!***
TERRORIST CAUGHT!!!
It has just been announced by Information Minister John Williams that the terrorist has been caught. He showed pictures of the location where they found him, in a little eight foot deep hole, by himself with no weapons on him. The report states that after several minutes they got him to confess to the terrorist attack on the soccer team's bus. They say his name is Adolf Hitler, but the authorities are checking to see if that is a fake name to hide a previous record.
Praying2God 2004-01-25

“They say his name is Adolf Hitler” says the journalist. “But we’re checking to see if it’s a fake name to hide a previous record”. Sorry. Exactly how bad is this guy’s record that, when he was looking for a fake name that might cause less concern than his own, ends up with Adolf Fucking Hitler.

HITLER FOUND GUILTY
After a delay in the beginning of his trial, Adolf Hitler was found guilty of four counts of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. The plea of not guilty by reason of insanity was rejected after a psychologist for the defense admitted in cross-examination that Hitler was sane and that the defense was paying him off to say that Hitler was insane. The mood outside the courthouse after the verdict was released was one of relief that the proceedings were over, allowing everybody to go on with their lives.
Praying2God 2004-02-05

I don’t know about you, but I only made it as far as “a psychologist for the defense admitted in cross-examination” before I lost the ability to concentrate and instead fixated on this guy who, despite being a qualified psychologist, apparently wilts in the face of questioning as if he hadn't prepared himself for the idea that he might be asked a question about the lie he’d been paid to keep up. Was he not aware that lying is difficult? This guy was Absolutely Not A psychologist.

Okay. Let's talk about Cassie.

I’m sure you can see, now, why I decided that I couldn’t put this episode in video form. I don’t think it would be possible for a video to survive that shift in tone. I couldn’t have just let you read the wikipedia page on your own and then come back to me when you’re ready. It’s a crass enough idea to include her as a player in this team, it also feels crass to include her in this episode of The Idiot Project.

But to include her in the team and then have her die of gunshot wounds is... beyond my vocabulary.

Praying2God isn’t around to defend themselves, so instead, I’ll make a case for their defence.

The Columbine Massacre is similar to the aforementioned Watergate scandal, in that it’s difficult to look at from the vantage point of 2025, a time in which such events have become daily occurrences. I can’t speak for Watergate, which was before even *I* was born, but I can tell you that Columbine was such a major event that I, a foreigner who was 15 at the time, can tell you the names of the two murderers without even looking them up. Where we now have 24/7 televised updates about tariffs or the royals or the culture wars, we once had daily conjecture on Columbine. It permeated the culture.

For this reason, the presence of Cassie on that team-sheet here isn’t a total non-sequitir. For a minority of Christian evangelists, she had become a martyr for answering ‘yes’ to the question ‘are you a Christian?’ by one of the shooters.

Yes, you’re right, it’s utterly ridiculous. But if you’re a home-schooled fundamentalist presbyterian in bumfuck kentucky, it makes perfect sense. And come on, you live in 2025. Look around you. Governments around the world are bending over backwards to forge a new world which makes perfect sense to exactly this type of person, at the expense of all else. We’re all living in a Praying2God RP.

If you’re angry at this and would like to see Praying2God punished somehow, then you’re in luck.

by **Gnejs** » Sun May 11, 2025 10:44 pm

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!

Come gather around you children of spring and I’ll tell you the tale of how The Prosaic Union of Gnejs ceased to be.

But first, some points of clarification.

The story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team, while undoubtedly tragic, was also a thing of beauty and purity. It was the sort of understated epic that has survived in the annals precisely because of the qualities mentioned. Therefore, it really shouldn’t be tarnished with grotty addendums. It devalues the story and cheapens its universal message, and frankly, it’s quite unbecoming of you to ask for it. Besides, just because there’s a deep connection between the story of how the 98th World Cup became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team and the tale of how the Prosaic Union ceased to be, doesn’t mean that the latter is a simple ad-on or the former a simple prequel! Shame on you for even suggesting it! I also feel these requests are especially ill form when they’re so obviously thinly veiled attempts at trying to make me tell the story of the 98th World Cup, or the 99th World Cup for that matter. I have said, with unquestionable clarity, that I will not tell those stories again. It’s not because they are without merit, no, there’s most definitely a certain common dazzle about them. The reason is simple. I have told many stories over the years, but of late I have chosen to restrict myself to telling the grand stories, the ones that made a difference and mattered, like the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team or the tale of how The Prosaic Union of Gnejs ceased to be. There was a time when I would have gladly recounted the story of the 98th, or even the 99th, World Cup for the umpteenth time, but no longer. I’m sick of telling them, and I’m done with those kind of plebeian people pleasers. Also, I detest repeating myself, as my account of the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team can attest to.

Now, I say to you, children of awakening and blossom, settle down and let us begin.

To be sure, it is no straightforward story, the tale of how The Prosaic Union of Gnejs ceased to be. Or maybe it is, and we have just grown accustomed to telling it in a weirdly disjointed way? I guess only time will tell, as the old Pomeranian said on the hillside. The jury’s ultimate verdict be damned though! I’ll just ascertain right now it really is multiple stories, the tale of how The Prosaic Union ceased to be. I’ve always said as much! Because, like the old saying goes, is it not so that there are as many stories about how The Prosaic Union ceased to be as there are those who ceased to be? Many, that is. This complicates our telling of the tale, and it implicates us morally, because with each step forward we inevitably make a decision to tell one story as opposed to another one. Are not all these stories worthy of being told? Who art thou, or I for that matter, to play deity and proclaim «One but not the other!»? This is the very reason why no one account of the tale of how The Prosaic Union of Gnejs ceased to be is like the other. The moral imperative amongst us utterers-of-aulden-tales compels us that it must be so!

Let us not be overly dramatic and needlessly convoluted though, seeing as there are undoubtedly common touchstones and interfaces bridging all of the countless stories making up the tale of how The Prosaic Union ceased to be. This is a feature, because it ensures that any of the multitudinous groupings of recounts possible will manage to convey at least some of the quintessenza of it all. They all take place during that fateful 99th World Cup, for example, although of course the story of the 99th World Cup is an entirely different tarradiddle and if you seek to hear that tale told you must look elsewhere! Further, no matter which of the thousand flowers you decide to pick out in your exclusive bouquet, in all instances it would seem like that one star twinkled just a tad bit too intensely on the night sky as the ground trembled softly (but with malicious intent). Perchance there are more similarities, points of universal truths that are valid across individual stories and act like crucial pieces of the mosaic. Only time will tell, as Pomeranians young and old are fond of saying while on the hillside. I’ll say this much: one common ground between those of us that endeavour to tell the tale of how The Prosaic Union ceased to be, is that we often like to start deep down below Pebble Street and the offices of The Ministry of The Interior and their Department of Bewildering and Delphic Occurrences.

by **The North Polish Union** » Mon May 12, 2025 1:02 pm

The North Polish returns the same roster they debuted at the Baptism of Fire, although they've moved around a few players from starters to substitutes and vice versa. In particular the decision by enigmatic manager Udo Kluckhohn to start Inocenty Kaczka over Seweryn Maciejewski has drawn squawks of criticism throughout the Union, with Kluckhohn deflecting those criticisms as being "for the birds". Another call on the part of the pundits was to replace defensive midfielder Dorofiej Adamski with young starlet Jurej Žuk, which Kluckhohn responded to with the odd statement that he'd "sooner see Žuk for lunch than start him on the pitch". Needless to say, feathers have been ruffled back home.

The North Polish Union earned a quarterfinal appearance in the Baptism of Fire before falling 1-0 to Gyaromia. Entering the World Cup sporting a fearsome rating of 224th overall, they expect to wow opponents with their skill and progress deep into the tournament. Failing that, they will settle for a 20+ goal loss to a higher ranked team, after which they can go home and enjoy one of Mrs. Kluckhohn's famous chicken dinners.

The team plays a primarily defensive style of football utilizing a 3-5-2 base formation. in fact "primarily defensive" may be understating the case. In general, they have very little idea how to play attacking football. Sure they scored 4 goals twice in the BoF, but those were flukes. Against Wedich they were motivated by the promise of Mrs. Kluckhohn's chicken dinner should they win (what does she season it with?!), and against Pakhomiya they were inspired by a rousing pre-match speech denouncing their opponents as evil sparrow-massacring atheists.

Defensively though, they're very sound, backstopped by star goalkeeper Hieronim Kalinowski. A Pole, Kalinowski is also a fluent French speaker who repeatedly insists (in French) to the media and art critics around him that he is not German; this is despite the fact that Polish-German ethnic relations have improved dramatically in recent decades and Kalinowski has never had issues with German teammates. Whatever. Goalies are weird. What's more important is that he maintained a clean sheet for over 250 minutes at the BoF. Gyaromia's Mármarosi Roland would break this streak with a penalty kick in the 68th minutes of the quarterfinal that would send the Union team home. At the post-game press conference, Kalinowski insisted on reciting the entire Chanson de Roland, in perfect medieval French, "in honor of the Gyaromian who ad so heroically vanquished him"

Looking forward to the tournament, they can only await the draws for qualifying groups with bated breath and French poetry on the mind.

by **Bohr** » Wed May 14, 2025 11:00 am

2002-03 Offseason Review: The 5 biggest stories in Bohr football
by Matt Silver

5. A Dynasty begins?
After seven years of Bohr Championship Football being a closed shop, the league finally opened its doors, allowing for a single team to be promoted automatically and giving another challenger the opportunity to fight it out in a playoff. As a concept, it appears to have been a success; four different teams could have been relegated on the final day, although it was ultimately Cantrill Palace, the pre-season favorites to drop, to end up at the bottom. More on Palace, the team that’s changed their city, their owner, and now their league, later. The new team (and only new team, as Order of the Bear would be unsuccessful in their playoff attempt), meanwhile, is Becis Dynasty, which brings the count to five teams located in the Becis metropolitan area. Dynasty, owned by used-car magnate Daniel Quarrell, has professed its aim to “fill a gap in the market” by being Becis’ working-class club, a role previously somewhat-unfittingly held by Becis City. In practice, this has primarily meant a sizable amount of nationalist/anti-immigrant rhetoric (the club was notably absent in the foreign transfer window), as well as just a bit of monarchism (the excuse that “Dynasty is a very cool word” was not exactly convincing). Politics aside, the roster they have is clearly BCF-quality; Tom Bacha was clearly a step beyond the rest of the BCL as a central midfielder in terms of his positioning, workrate, and decision-making on the ball, while Kyle Sargent, brother of former NT and current Motan striker Cole, knocked in just enough goals for the team to move on up. They’re positioned to be a solid mid-table squad for the immediate future.

4. A Pyramid scheme?
There’s a lot of ambiguity going on with St. Natasha Pyramid, who fought with Shansco Athletic for their third consecutive championship for most of the season before ultimately getting pipped at the line by Heavenly Princess for third. Here’s what we know: a number of the squad’s biggest contributors were put up for sale in the off-season transfer window, with exemplary attacking midfielder and social media icon Grady Roces leaving for Becis City for an undisclosed-but-allegedly-surprisingly-low fee. Combined with a lack of big names coming in, it’s an oddly subdued stance for a club whose strategy since the league began has been “acquire stars first, ask questions later”. It’s possible that the One More Extra ownership group is simply taking a step back, but lots of fans, especially Cantrill Palace’s, have taken it to mean that they’re preparing for a league punishment-most likely for the series of extremely shady-looking transfers between Pyramid and ex-sister team Palace. The squad is by no means gutted, mind you. The combination of the greatest BCF manager of all time in Sherrod Simpson and the greatest BCF goal-scorer of all time in Jamie Sullivan remains, and those two have shown that they can manage a top-four finish even with minimal support. But a set of fines-or, even better, point deductions-might mean the end of an era for the league’s most-hated club.

3. A Truly Global League
No part of the offseason inspired fans as much as Bohr’s entrance into the global market, even if the actual moves were somewhat underwhelming. Only a single top-level player left Bohr-Amine Bouquet, Akinis’ enforcer of a left-back, left for the shores of Tikariot, where by all accounts he’s adapted well at Avanaroch-but most contending teams made one or two transfers in, and all of the new trailblazers are expected to provide meaningful value to their club. In order, from smallest to largest expected impact:

-Becis Annex, Frumston 74, and Akinis all dabbled in the unproven talent of foreign academies, a cheap (if not particularly high-percentage) way to acquire young legs. Special mention here goes to Akinis’ Adrian Sommer; although, like most South Newlandians, football was not his first sport, meaning his instincts are often just a step slower than you’d like, he’s garnered lots of praise from typically-taciturn ex-NT manager Ellis Leach for his attitude and willingness to learn.

-Becis City picked up two players, both from Katzeburg’s Axmund City. Osbert Kundert has fairly large shoes to fill, replacing team icon (and last link to the now-ancient Bohr StarLeague) Greg Callahan, but it says a lot about the way City are run that their first two foreign signings are a keeper and a center-back. In 1998, they learned that defense wins championships, chasing down an 11-point deficit to Heavenly Princess by giving up a single goal in their last ten games; that was their most recent championship season, and although they also upgraded the attack with Roces, they’re still trying to build from the back to the front, rather than the other way around.

-Shansco Athletic’s main signing was Serdar Admiri, a journeyman striker originally from Yassaca’s academy in the Squornshelan Confederacy who has never quite found a proper landing spot. Admiri is less interesting as a player in his own right and more interesting as a measuring stick for Bohr Championship Football as a whole-it would make sense for a Red League vet, but could a player whose most impressive seasons have come in the Pasargan second tier really destroy the league? He’ll be given a blank canvas to do so; Shansco won the championship last year without a true no.9, and Khalikov and Solomon behind are going to be challenges for even the highest-level back lines in Bohr to keep track of. Left back Jocelyne Astier is more interesting, as the most notable transfer that could reasonably be called a “prospect”. Playing wing-back in the “Shansco wedge” (a 4-3-2-1) is notoriously difficult, especially for players who haven’t experienced wingerless systems before; as such, Astier will be integrated into the squad fairly slowly, starting on the bench and hopefully being acclimated by the end of the season. Given that Oskar Bright, the guy in front of her, is 35 (and not a young 35!), Athletic would really like that acclimation to happen sooner rather than later, or else they risk losing out on a serious chance at a title defense.

-Heavenly Princess only made a single signing, but it was a big one-Nathalie Bernard-Bigras brings years of experience in the extremely competitive Red League, where she was a key piece of a Lanar offense that consistently managed to punch above its weight. The fact that she was also a contributor to Lanar’s defensive woes was barely a factor for HP; at 33, her physical prime is surely behind her, but she can still bomb passes from behind the half-way line with the best of them, and shores up the only even theoretical weakness in the Princess attack. Incidentally, Bernard-Bigras will almost certainly be BCF’s first female player to get into a match. While this would have been front-page news a few years ago, a combination of Evela-Gavax Den breaking barriers for non-binary players and millions of Bohr football fans watching women such as Valanora’s Julia Strömberg and the Kytler Peninsulae’s late Hailey Burton (my sincerest condolences to everyone the Kytler Peninsulae, and especially all of the affected families) carve up the national team’s defenses has managed to change peoples’ minds on this.

2. The College Try
With all the focus on the professional game, it can be easy to forget that collegiate football has a significantly longer history in Bohr-depending on whether you ask someone from Becis or Shansco, it can even be argued to be where Bohrian football started. While team academies and whether they lead to higher-level players remains a hot-button issue among Bohr’s football intelligentsia, 95% of the country’s young talent still comes through the colleges, meaning that the national tournament-played between pro seasons-doubles as a last chance for teams to make their pitches and throw piles of money at the just-about-adults. This year’s final was a fully northern affair, between Northwest Provincial and Donnell; while NWP would win the championship 3-2 after Cain Calais’ extra-time header and add yet another trophy to their collection, the standout player was Donnell’s Kaleo Solomon, who timed a run from midfield to strike a powerful finish from just outside the box for the first goal and then split the NWP CBs with a beautifully-placed through-ball for the second. The 22-year-old Solomon was, by all accounts, a model student, who managed to balance his football practices with a degree in Donnell’s famously tough electrical engineering program. After graduation, he would spurn traditional northern power Motan in favor of signing a contract with defending champions Shansco Athletic, where he’s expected to start from day one there for a club with high expectations, including Bohr’s first set of IFCF Champions League matches.

1. Holding up the Heavens
After Alex Moll resigned (and managed to fall upwards into the NT job) it was widely agreed that Heavenly Princess, the most storied (if not the most successful) club in Becis, would want to make a splash with their new manager signing. The only question was who it would be. One of the various newly-unemployed foreigners from the T-League? A Quebecois hand to accommodate standout new signing Nathalie Bernard-Bigras? A return after two decades for a BSL-era manager like (current annoying pundit) Luis Cesare? After a shockingly long process, their actual choice was much closer to home, while simultaneously being weirder than any of the theorized options. HP’s iconic center-back and captain, Jaxon Girard, will take up the management role while simultaneously continuing to lead the defense-the first player-manager in BCF history. It’s a wild swing for a squad that you would think wouldn’t need wild swings to start racking up championships; more than half of the team’s expected starting XI will be on the national team, a number that would be even higher if Girard didn’t give up his international duties to accommodate his additional workload. And yet, despite almost always having the most talented squad on paper, the Princesses still have exactly one BCF trophy-still one less than despised rivals Becis City. Girard is not expected to be a master tactician, but he shouldn’t need to be. If he merely gets everyone pointed in the correct direction, he might be regarded as a genius, and will be able to finish out his playing career with one of the most impressive achievements possible. If this fails, however, it will be a complete humiliation for the millionaires and billionaires in the Order of the Heavenly Princess, a feeling that they will surely not take kindly to.

by **Paradystopia** » Fri May 16, 2025 4:26 am

For what felt like the first time in forever, the sun’s rays managed to find passage betwixt the usual veil of cloud. They glinted merrily off a wide array of damp rocky outcrops and languid puddles, reflecting and refracting a spectrum of deep, nauseating greens, cold, aggressive greys, and an abundant palette of non-descript browns. Having brought some brief illumination to this depressing vista, the light rays promptly bounced their way back with great haste to the upper atmosphere and the sun itself sought refuge again behind the clouds. Some places look nicer when slightly obscured, this was certainly one of them. The light had also brought with it a glorious chorus of birdsong. Unfortunately, the birds in question were a sizable colony of penguins and other assorted seabirds, and their combined melodies were as mellifluous as a busy morning commute at rush hour trying to navigate major roadworks with no clear indicator as to whom has right of way.
A stone’s throw from the raucous assembly, hidden in the shadow of a crag, stood a small collection of ramshackle huts. Together they cowered for shelter from the relentless sea breeze with its usual sharp aroma of salt and penguin shit, and leant precariously upon and over one another, creaking softly to themselves in the way only decrepit wooden buildings can. A makeshift sign lay by the dirt path that led from the shore to this assortment of structures. It had fallen over at some point during the previous winter, and no-one had seen fit to re-erect it. The words upon it, carved with the same care and grace one might expect of a proverbial bull in a China shop, read
‘Welcome to New Newetoun, Paradystopia’
Assembled upon a small patch of relatively decent grass close by to the fallen sign stood five people and two large cats attempting to have a discussion over the din of the nearby birds.
“Football?! On a multiversal stage? Are you serious?!” blurted out the oldest member of the ensemble.
“Completely, and utterly serious! As always!” spoke the gentleman in the penguin onesie, who was presently succeeding in balancing a large egg on his forehead. Glazing over this, the older man continued.
“It’s preposterous! We don’t have the facilities. We’ve no pitch, we’ve no team. I mean, I may have played a bit in my day but I ain’t as young as I once was. No one has ever played at a level remotely approaching that of these big-shot international teams and primarily, there’s only bloody seven of us!”
Error gestured expectantly at his costume, as though that clarified anything. In doing this, he lost control of the egg which bobbled off his head, and in a rushed attempt to catch it with his foot, it cracked and oozed over his mock-penguin feet. Seeing that people were failing to comprehend his master stroke, Error attempted a verbal prompt.
“HWAONK!”
After several awkward seconds, it was Anja who first made the connection.
“… penguins? …”
“Exactamundinio!”
“Penguins?!?”
Error nodded vigorously.
“… penguins …” reiterated Anja despairingly.
There were several further awkward seconds whilst exactly what Error was suggesting forced it’s way into the group’s collective consciousness. Error was already well known for his sheer detachment from reality, but this seemed to go beyond the usual. Anja decided it was up to her to attempt the impossible and drag Error’s head from out of whatever zany, brain-warping clouds it currently resided in with a calm rationale.
“Error, they’re wild animals. We can’t.”
“Not with that attitude we can’t! We’ll need them if we’re to beat Edsmontik in two weeks.”
There transpired further awkward seconds of silence whilst this new premise entered the group’s collective consciousness with the delicacy of a rocket-powered sledgehammer. Finally, Anja found herself capable of speech once more.
“So, just so I’ve got this straight. You are telling me that the Edsmontik national team, not their under seventeens, not one of their lower league club teams, not some randomers you met on the internet posing as them. Like, THE actual Edsmontik? As in reigning 4th placers in the World Cup Edsmontik are coming HERE to play a friendly?! You’ve taken the liberty of organising, by yourself, without any consultation, our first actual international match, here, and we’re playing World Cup semi-finalists?!?”
Error beamed smugly
“Absolutidoodly!”
The older man could take no more and bellowed at the grinning, penguin-dressed man.
“Well, I hope I speak for the rest of us when I say that’s there’s ‘absolutidoodly’ no fucking way we’re getting involved in your moronic plan to play football against top-rated opposition with a load of fucking penguins!”

For seventy-eight glorious minutes it looked as though Paradystopia would be able to claim the bragging rights that they had held one of the top nations in the Multiverse to equal spoils on the football field. Never mind that Elterhad der-Stoiuben had touched the ball only once in this period and that was to take one solitary goal kick courtesy of a misplaced long pass from Kiaren Schlippe. Never mind that the majority of Edsmon defenders looked thoroughly bored from lack of activity as possession had scarcely left the final third of the Paradystopi end. Never mind that the Paradystopi had managed barely fifteen percent of possession with pitifully low percentages of successful passes or runs. What mattered was that Sjiu was proving unbeatable, and the scores remained level.
Even the penguins were playing their part and, on several occasions, had come to the Paradystopi keeper’s rescue. Most notably when Ethel had slid headfirst to tip a ball around the post after a long-range shot had been deflected, wrong-footing the skilful cat. From the very off, it had seemed to be only a matter of time before the deadlock was broken but here we were, twelve and a bit minutes away from full time and Edsmontik with nothing yet to show for it.
However, like a classic Audioslavian cup run, all good things must fall flat on their face at the final hurdle.
Maktholm Ghreksbvy had lofted a looping cross towards the area. Bounding over a penguin, Sjiu had in her typical fashion, risen above the melee in the box to punch the ball away but her contact was flawed. The ball spun away to the opposite flank. Error Message had failed to react quickly enough and was outpaced by Reus Aespana, recently on for Fruedenne, who hammered a low cross towards the six-yard box. The ball had ricocheted off Kiaren Schlippe, Jeremy, and Trevor before a grateful Vioraad Reiovus smashed it home by the far post. 1-0 to the Eagles, and heartbreak for the Paradystopi. So close, yet oh so far from a historic result in their first international match.
The Paradystopi tried their best to rally for an equaliser but the task was far beyond them. Even though they did manage to get a shot on target for the stats sheet, albeit Error attempting a most speculative of shots from the halfway line which the keeper easily caught. So it ended 1-0 in favour of Edsmontik. A defeat, but at least a learning experience and proof that at a ragtag bunch from a penguin sanctuary could maybe, just maybe produce an upset or two once the World Cup Qualifiers came around.
Error struggled to see the upside though. His dubious plan of getting the autographs of as many Edsmon players as possible only to reveal that they had inadvertently signed a declaration of immigration to Paradystopia had failed. Mostly because, in his haste, he had misspelt the country name on his fraudulent document. He had been hoping to bolster the Paradystopi team thus improving chances of making the World Cup Finals, but given that Maartin Stuero and three others had now apparently declared their fealty to the land of ‘Pardy Stopa’ on the back of a crumpled receipt for office supplies, it was a lost cause.

International Friendly
.             Paradystopia 0-1 Edsmontik
                                Reiovus 79'

Rhoderick scowled at Error as the players left the pitch though he couldn’t help but feel the faintest glimmer of hope that, having produced a respectable result against opposition who had them totally outranked and outclassed, maybe this wasn’t as fruitless an endeavour as first thought. Maybe it had been a fluke though. It was merely a friendly against a bunch of nobodies for the Eagles and a truly competitive fixture would be a different kettle of fish altogether. It had been a fun experience, more enjoyable than he had imagined, but now it was time to stop the charade.
“Hopefully we’ll do better against The Golden Harp” muttered Error gloomily as he walked past to the dugout, tossing the (seemingly) worthless autographs of Maartin Stuero, Ivikt Javarqa, Vioraad Reiovus, and Darion Verto over his shoulder.
“The Golden who?”
“Harps. Like the seal.”
“Wait, what?”
“Harp seals. You know, the seals that play harps … apparently …”
Rhoderick wondered whether he could feel a migraine coming on, or whether Error’s presence simply provoked a very specific reaction in his frontal lobe. Grimacing, he asked the question he already knew the answer to.
“Error, are there more matches that you’ve organised? You do know that we can’t compete in the World Cup qualifying, yes?”
“Well, there’s another two here. That’s The Golden Harp Seals and erm, oh yes, Chicken Tikka Rice Hot, and then we’ll get word of the qualifying draw some time next week. Funny story actually. I got Harold and Roger to balance one on top of the other, wrapped them in a trench coat, packed them off on a boat with instructions to hitch-hike to Stelburg in Teusland. The best bit is that they’re pretending to be ‘Gwyn Penn’, a made-up representative for the Paradystopi Football Association. Ha.”
Rhoderick instantly regretted his question, though all he could manage to utter was
“Chicken who?”
“Tikariot. Though I think it’s pronounced Chicken Tikka Rice Hot. And like a country with a stupid name like that could be any good at football.”
“I think it’s actually just Tikariot and … actually, nevermind …”
Steeling himself for a final push, Rhoderick continued
“Error, we need to stop this football nonsense. Now.”

In the wake of their first defeat was a visit from the Holy Harps, a match that looked to be very winnable after their valiant efforts facing reigning World Cup semi-finalists. Sadly, this proved to be their downfall. Maybe they could muster a strong defence with ten players behind the ball, but attempting to push forward bared their defensive frailties for all the world, well, the handful of penguins and Golden Harp supporters present, to see.
Sjiu was trying to get a feel for a more sweeper-keeper style of play, and the warning signs were there when she was in no-mans-land for a quick counter attack which saw Garbhan Watt’s 40-something yard shot catch the top of the bar of the empty goal and thankfully, bounce over harmlessly.
The efficacity of the Paradsytopi attack was also hampered by Error’s insistence that the only way one could truly counter a holy harp was with a devilish piano. After 45 minutes of trying to push a crimson-red baby grand up and down a muddy field, playing ‘demonic’ chords as opponents ran past him, he was exhausted and replaced with Olii at half-time. He did continue to play ‘creepy’ music from the dugout for the remainder of the match though, wilfully ignoring the countless number of times Rhoderick, the Golden Harp coaching staff, and the fourth official told him with very degrees of severity to ‘shut the hell up’.
It wasn’t long after the break that the Golden Harp broke through. On the stroke of the fifty minute mark, Jones Collins was sent flying as he tripped over Karen winning a free-kick in the process. Taking the dead ball opportunity quickly, Watt released Collins down the wing into space. He drilled a cross into the middle which caught Jim square in the beak, looping artfully into the top corner of the Paradystopi goal. Sjiu was fractions of a centimetre away and had she not been out of her area when the free-kick was taken, would very likely have made the save. Jim, thoroughly dazed by the impact was taken off and replaced with Patricia.
The remainder of the game was a mostly dull affair. The holy harps, though egged on by the small group of supporters who had made the trip, seemed comfortable with 1-0 and Paradystopia looked toothless to respond. There were a few moments of light amongst the murk, Hleqrru and Olii seemed to work well off one another forcing a few decent saves out of O’Finnegan. Iona Schlippe rattled the post in the dying embers of the game off a first time shot from a long ball from Bortland, but O’Finnegan looked to have it covered regardless and the match ended with another 1-0 defeat.
The sporting atmosphere was marred somewhat when were complaints were made by the holy harps after the game. Jones Collins was adamant that his kit-bag had been emptied and refilled with 3 kilograms of dead, eviscerated fish and arguments ensued over the security arrangements (or lack thereof) at the Paradystopi ground. Error only antagonised things claiming it was a sign from Beelzebub that the Golden Harp should concede the match to Paradystopia and struck up his scary music at the piano again. The rest of the Paradystopi squad viewed it to have all the hallmarks of a disgruntled Jim, but said nothing due to finding the situation quite amusing.

International Friendly
.             Paradystopia 0-1 The Golden Harp
                                Jim (o.g.) 51'

by **Edsmontik** » Fri May 16, 2025 5:32 am

Edsmontik 1-0 Paradystopia
EdsmonAir VIP - Flight 12
Post-Game - 4:35PM, Saturday, August 30th, 2031

"I'm disappointed."

"I couldn't agree more."

"How'd we even manage to miss that many shots? It would have been six to nil if we all just aimed better."

The Edsmons had just come off of a small win.
Any other day, it would be fine.
But this team was unranked.
Edsmontik was 8th place.
According to the players, they should have done much more than score once.

Just last World Cup, Edsmontik found fourth, no medal unfortunately, but a milestone, nevertheless.
Just before that, they had qualified on their first ever World Cup, also a big milestone.
And before that, they won the Baptism of Fire 84, something basically irreplaceable if you don't win the first time around.

So, as many would imagine, a 1-0 win to an unranked side as a top ten team was disappointing.
You'd think the match was any more fun.
But no.

Elterhad der-Stoiuben touched the ball exactly once the entire game.
And that was for a goal kick.
He might have done more if the Edsmon defenses had the ball.
But no.

The ball was with the midfield and front three the ENTIRE GAME.
Even then, Ystermakt did nothing most of the match other than feed the ball to the battlefront and stop clearances.
At least Reiovus got the goal he wanted all year.

"Look on the bright side, we start the World Cup Season with a win."

"You're right. Wait. No, we lost in the IAC, that was technically this year."

"Listen, that doesn't matter, that was the beginning of the year."

"Maktholm, you're calling mid-May beginning?"

"Okay, okay, captain sir. I'm wrong there. Anyways, isn't there a new guy on our team? We've yet to talk to him."

"Yeah, let's go."

***

Nationate Vdesmun Fustbaal Training Center, Kalse Bay, Neureckaver, Edsmontik
1:10PM, Sunday, August 31st, 2031

"You don't speak fluent Vdes, I assume?"

"Yeah, no I don't. I grew up learning Lunsfjallen because my parents refused to use the Vdes language. Still, I'm an Edsmon citizen, and I ended up learning anyway. The two aren't that different."

"Makes sense. Anyways, your pronunciation is off."

"What is it then, is it not 'Nationate'?" (nah-shown-ate)

"No, 'Nationate'." (nah-tea-oh-na-tay)

"Ah, I see. Thanks for correcting me."

"Well anyways, welcome to the team, Darion. It's going to be a great journey here with you on the team.

***

Highway 34, Kalse Bay, Neureckaver, Edsmontik
3:01 PM, Tuesday, September 2nd, 2031

Elterhad, Ivikt, and Benzor were all enjoying their ride down one of Edsmontik's less busy highways.
Their choice of car?
A 2027 Ezey Stratos Convertible Supersport.*
A perfect blend of speed and luxury, built for those who are wealthy and in need of some speed.

"I heard the FDVL is planning to undergo changes in a year or so?"

"Yep, once there's enough players signing up, we'll have a larger league with more teams than before."

"Let's push this car a little more. There's no limit on this section."

Elterhad floored the Stratos.
Off they went, nearing 150 MPH as they exited onto the 10 mile straight.

"It's oddly empty today."

"Yeah, usually much more full."

"Put some classical music on."

"Like Korssar Vdesmon?"

"Yeah, that's a great one!"

With the World Cup Qualifiers nearing, the Edsmons would have a little fun to relax themselves for the first game.
After all, if they were all stressed, they'd perform much worse.
Just a week from this day, the Edsmons would be facing off against a familiar opponent: Auprussia.

Based on the 2018 Bentley Continental GT Supersports Convertible*

by **Audioslavia** » Fri May 16, 2025 6:54 am

Everything You Didn't Want To Know About Audioslavia's World Cup 99 Qualifying Opponents

Audioslavia have entered yet another World Cup, where they hope to qualify for the main tournament for the fifty fifth time. When asked a simple question: Why?, an FFA spokesperson simple wobbled their jowels and said the word 'history' three times, each wobblier than the last.

Audioslavia's group contains football teams who represent other nations, as they generally do. Some of them have played each other before.

All-time Head to Head Records in WCC Competitions (W-D-L)
Team              vsCRP vsAUD vsMER vsKAN vsCAR vsTHE vsKAN vsSEL vsLEG vsHEN 
Crpostran           x               2-0-0                                     Total:2-0-0 PPG:3.00
Audioslavia               x   2-1-0 0-0-1 0-1-0       4-5-0                   Total:6-7-1 PPG:1.79
Mertagne                0-1-2   x         1-1-0       2-1-3                   Total:3-3-5 PPG:1.09
Kanzlia           0-0-2 1-0-0         x         1-0-0                         Total:2-0-2 PPG:1.50
Carpathia & Ruth        0-1-0 0-1-1         x               1-1-0             Total:1-3-1 PPG:1.20
The Martian Inde                    0-0-1         x                           Total:0-0-1 PPG:0.00
Kandorith               0-5-4 3-1-2                     x                     Total:3-6-6 PPG:1.00
Sel Appa                                  0-1-1               x               Total:0-1-1 PPG:0.50
Legendenex                                                          x         Total:0-0-0 PPG:
Henrik P                                                                  x   Total:0-0-0 PPG:

The big news is that the Bulls have been drawn with Mertagne, a nation we often refer to as our 'brothers', or, as they say in Basque, 'Anaia'. Starting out as an over-complicated football league pyramid and ending up as a fully-fledged sporting region, Anaia's roots start with Audioslavia and Mertagne. It's our pleasure to be able to announce, here on Anaia Day, May 16th, that the Matchday Two encounter between the two sides will be held at the old Arena Kirola, former national stadium, and site of the two teams' meeting in the third-placed-playoff of World Cup 66.

"We have the edge over Mertagne in previous WCC matches" nods a statistician. He's referring to two matches from the sixties, both of which finished level in normal time, and a win in a Cup of Harmony group game from cycle 93. He doesn't seem to be ashamed of himself for presenting this as a worthwhile fact, and instead adds that the Bulls even further advantaged in the Mertian head-to-head due to their meetings in the AOCAF and CAFA cups.

Even factoring those games in, it's Kandorith who the Bulls know best. Counting groups of ten cycles as 'decades', the Bulls have met Kandorith in each of the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, meeting in three World Cup Qualifiers (68, 84, 94) and three World Cup First Rounds (70, 71, 86). The Bulls are yet to lose, though the sides are equally matched more often than not.

Let's look at everyone's form more recently: The 90s.

Qualifying Records from Cycle 90 to 98
Team               Pld   W   D   L   F   A    GD PPG    Qualified
Crpostran           42  30   9   3 108  46    62 2.36   3
Audioslavia        152  98  31  23 225  86   139 2.14   4
Mertagne           140  77  30  33 316 223    93 1.86   3
Kanzlia             30  14   4  12  64  54    10 1.53   0
Carpathia & Ruth    98  32  24  42 168 190   -22 1.22   0
The Martian Inde    30   6   6  18  30  55   -25 0.80   0
Kandorith          136  83  26  27 323 219   104 2.02   4
Sel Appa            14   2   0  12  15  35   -20 0.43   0
Legendenex           0                        
Henrik P             0

The golden number here is 2.00. This is the Points Per Game you need to be in the mix when it comes to who qualifies and who doesn't. Audioslavia have entered each and every one of the qualifiers from cycle 90 to 98, but despite hitting a PPG of 2.14 have failed to qualify as many times as they qualified. Kandorith's four qualifications here come from the start of the 90s, before their form trailed off. Having missed cycle 97, they're firm outsiders to make World Cup 99.

Crpostran are, of course, a huge outlier.

Each Group 8 team's KPB* score over the 90s. KPB* is basically a version of the old KPBs that allows for comparing teams across multiple cycles.

Audioslavia and Kandorith might pretend to themselves, and maybe each other, that they're still 'big' teams, but their declines were already complete by the time Cropostran played their very first game. A World Cup finalist just three cycles after their inception, the Sapphire Strikers are very much the team to beat in Group 8. In three cycles, the side have lost just three qualifying games, with two of those coming on the way to their top-of-the-table finish in their debut cycle. Their worst qualifying attempt, in terms of finishing position and Points per Game, was somehow the last cycle, where they finished with an 8-6-0 record.

It's doubtful whether the army of fist-waving grandpas - Sel Appa, Audioslavia, C&R, Kandorith, Mertagne - can do anything to stop them marching to a fourth successive World Cup finals appearance.

by **Zwangzug** » Fri May 16, 2025 4:45 pm

The role of a fourth goalkeeper was frequently a superfluous one. Only recently had the trend of naming 26 players to a qualifying roster, rather than 23, caught on; before that it was most often third goalkeepers contemplating their ephemeral relevance. Realistically, most of the scenarios that would see #26 pressed into internationally-compelling action were sufficiently macabre to be rendered improbable by the demands of good taste. When one was a Zwangzugian fourth goalkeeper, those scenarios were slightly more fearsome, and the corresponding weight imposed by good taste proportionally more severe. And when one was a Zwangzugian fourth goalkeeper in an era that saw Ephesian FC dominating the league--which they currently were--there was always the possibility that the brilliant minds with the self-appointed duties of preventing macabre scenarios might choose to do so by not letting the team carry any goalkeepers to begin with, thus making one's place on the depth chart moot.

All this combined to put Frank Olmsted in a slightly piquish mood as his better-accomplished teammates fielded the usual inane babble of questions from reporters. And then there was that pretentious-looking woman from the Regency.

"One more question," she said, looking around as the others hurriedly managed to avoid making eye contact. "You. Is it better to be kind or right?"

"What?" said Frank.

"If someone asks you a question, and the answer that would be kinder is different from the answer that would be more right, what should you do?"

"You should...um...avoid saying anything. Don't get put into that position in the first place."

"Let's say it's you, specifically. What would you say?"

"I would say 'I'm just a dumb jock, how should I know?'"

"If you can't dodge."

"Who says I even know what the right answer is in the first place? Everybody's wrong a lot of the time, about a lot of things. Ask me a trivia question."

"What are Zwangzug seeded in these qualifiers?"

"I think...we're hanging around the fringes of the top 48, so on paper we're likely to qualify but nobody is gonna be too surprised if we don't? Maybe?"

"You're forty-fifth."

"Okay, that's something I know about. But if you ask me about history or biology..."

"Maybe 'right' isn't the best term. How about, 'truthful'? If, to the best of your knowledge, the most truthful answer isn't kind."

"Why should this be a dichotomy?"

"Like, one response would allow you to get in the last word and show how correct and smart you are, but another would be more likely to foster a relationship with the person you're talking to. What would you do?"

"I'm just a dumb jock, how should I know?"

The reporter threw up her hands. "You're all incorrigible."

"Hey, I said I don't know, not that I'm incapable of ever learning. Come back and ask me again at the end of qualifiers, I might have figured it out."

She glared at him dubiously, then paced off.

"What was that all about?" asked Tandre.

Frank waved Tinn over to join them. "Let's face it. We're reserve goalkeepers, for Zwangzug, in an era when Ephesian FC is dominating the league. We're not going to make an impact on the World Cup unless something goes really wrong."

"So?"

"So we have some leeway." He smirked. "How do you guys feel about doing a science experiment?"

by **Kanzlia** » Sat May 17, 2025 3:00 am

KNS Voorzichtigheid

VOORZICHTIGHEID class light cruiser
Displacement:  8600t
Speed:  33kts. Range 8000nm at 22kts.
Armament:  12-150mm/5.9in (4x3), 8-120mm/4.7in (4x2), 6-533mm/21in (2x3)
No. Name Builder Laid Down Launched Commissioned Fate
VOR VOORZICHTIGHEID Kotr 31.7.1945 28.4.1947 31.11.1947 Decommissioned 15.10.1968, scrapped 1.3.1969
EEN EENDRACHT Kotr 1.2.1946 15.6.1948 27.10.1948 Decommissioned 18.4.1972, preserved
PRP PRO PATRIA Kotr 12.2.1946 8.10.1948 30.12.1948 Decommissioned 23.8.1972, scrapped 16.6.1973

Once Jean Wiel retired, a new school of Kanzlian navy planners flourished in the legendary designers absence. Jean Wiel, who had been vehemently against fast and oceangoing cruisers (or just fast and oceangoing ships in general) have shaped the Kanzlian Navy as a powerful coastal defence force focused entirely on the defence of the nations waters. As such the school of power projecting navy planners was on bad terms with Jean Wiel so it is perhaps unsurprising that by Wiel's retirement, this particular school began lobbying to construct a more conventional cruiser.

In 1945, Rear Admiral Martin Trevewick was assigned the successor of Jean Wiel. Trevewick was a moderate on the competing schools of thought in Kanzlian navy planning, but he was under considerable pressure to modernise the navy after KNS Jane Manoeck sank on the high seas. Thus during the first few years of Trevewicks reign as chief navy planner, the school of cruisers was at the helm. Fleet Plan 1945 resembled a significant shift in Kanzlian navy planning, as proven by the number of light cruisers and fast destroyers in the numbers. A total of 5 light cruisers was proposed by the fleet plan, of which only 4 came to fruition by the time of Fleet Plan 1952. 3 of which came from the Voorzichtigheid class.

The Voorzichtigheid class was designed by the Naval Design Bureau headed by Lieutenant First Class Tineke te'Dazuit. A displacement of 10,000 tons was initially proposed with 9 guns, but this was vetoed by Trevewick (with considerable resistance from the school of cruisers) due to cost and practicality concerns. A reduced 8,000 tons displacement with 6 guns in twin mounts was agreed and construction started on the lead ship Voorzichtigheid by the 2nd half of 1945 in Kotr. However in the middle of construction, an the armament was changed significantly with 12 guns in triple mounts, which added an extra 600 tons on the final displacement. An additional order of 2 cruisers was made after this modification. Voorzichtigheid was completed and commissioned in late 1947, with the rest following in late 1948.

Given the ships high speed, these light cruisers were intended to engage hostile destroyers. The class's powerful inventory of anti-air guns also pose a strong anti air threat for enemy air forces approaching. It's torpedo mounts was janky and had constant malfunctions which led to its removal in 1950 and in its place an extra 40mm anti-air mount was placed. It's 150mm main mounts were also highly janky, as it's the first high angle dual purpose 150mm gun by Ardent. The issues were largely fixed by their Mk. III upgrade.

The ships service was particularly limited due to the world shifting away from gun cruisers and into the age of missiles. Their most noteworthy contribution being part of escort vessels for Kanzlia's grain ships during the Kanzlian collapse. The Voorzichtigheid class was decommissioned in the late 1960s, with the Eendracht preserved in Kotr. The fact Kanzlia didn't enter into armed conflict also helped.

Kanzlia hopes for qualification in Group 8 of WC99 qualifiers
The draw was announced earlier this evening and the Prowlers have their work cut out for them. Runners up of the previous World Cup, Crpostran, is pot 1 of the group and if previous records back in 97 would indicate, the Prowlers will find it even more difficult to defeat the currently 5th ranked team in the entire multiverse. Following Crpostran, avid followers of Kanzlian football would notice Audioslavia's inclusion in Group 8. The Prowlers have defeated them with a 1-0 victory in the 89th Cup of Harmony, back when Vassilis was running things. The Martian Independent Republic is also a familiar name, as Kanzlia has faced them in their debut tournament in BoF 84.

A bunch of new names will have entered the memories of millions of Kanzlians as we are due an exciting qualification campaign with the likes of stalwarts Mertagne and Kandorith joined alongside newcomers Henrik P.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat May 17, 2025 4:10 am

Naked News Jeruselem's Princess Alice Stella Dallas (naked) and her sister Princess Margot (naked) at the Naked News Jeruselem studio

Alice: Hello, it's that time again. The World Cup is here! Edition 99. Yes Jeruselem is going to World Cup 99.
Margot: And once again we're the official channel for the World Cup in Jeruselem.
Alice: The World Cup draw has been done. This time round, we have three hosts! The Squornshelan Remnant States, Siovanija & Teusland and Banija. Qualification is 15 groups of 10 and there is NO qualification playoffs. Top 3 of each group goes into the finals. The finals will be these 45 teams and of course the three hosts. So there's no second chances, you must finish in the top 3 of the group.
Margot: We got placed in Group 4 which is hosted in The Squornshelan Remnant States.
Alice: We're not going look at all 15 groups because I don't think you lot are interested in that anyway. Kind of a waste of time anyway.
Margot: So we're just going look at our group for now. A more comprehensive look at the cup is a available on our web site.

Alice: Group 10 has us of course, we're ranked a uber 102nd mainly because we haven't qualified for the finals for a while.
Margot: We are not the lowest ranked team, there's unranked newcomer Tevuekk. We know nothing about them.
Alice: Old friends Quakmybush are back, but ranked like 163. I guess they've fallen faster than us.
Margot: 192nd ranked Kwrpania are here, another unknown team for us unlike Quakmybush.
Alice: Joining us near the bottom ranks is Pakhomiya, ranked 269. Makes 102 rank look high.
Margot: So that's all the teams ranked under 100 including ourselves.

Alice: Ahead of us in rank are 5 teams. So we have a rather uphill task just to get into the top 3 as it is.
Margot: If it isn't the Busoga Islands again, ranked 73. Surprised at that low rank but also ranked … 69, is Sudilia. Please no 69 jokes Alice
Alice: Right, now for the real contenders. Valentine Z is ranked 42, ya another meme number. Eshialand ranked 24 is 2nd highest seed and then top seed in Group 4 is Juvencus, ranked 10th. I guess we can't complain too much or else we'll end up with top 5 seed in the group.
Margot: We don't know much about most teams other the few old friends and top seeds. Mind you we don't know about Valentine Z.
Alice: I think the audience won't know a lot about them either.
Margot: If you come from one of those countries, contact us! Would be nice to know about those countries.

Alice: Now with like 153 nations in the World Cup 99 and 48 finalists, getting football data on them is hard. Of course, this includes data on ourselves in Jeruselem.
Margot: We've gone the AI route and created bot to collect this data for you from public World Cup data and other sources not from dubious places like Twitter err X because we don't expect people to be data center and AI experts.
Alice: Given we don't know what people want for statistics, we have an interactive character you can ask questions.
Margot: And yes, the character is modelled on my annoying sister here.
Alice: Actually my daughter, but then she looks like me anyway.
Margot: And yes, it's one of those Chibi style characters which sometimes trips bad child image filters. The oversized heads of Chibis make them all look the children.

Alice: It is an AI so it's only as good as the data it collects so it's not like always correct
Margot: Mot that we're like 100% correct either
Alice: Just be aware sometimes it may display images of our family which offend some people
Margot: Yes, the Chibi character is AI generated. I mean, no one actually looks that. Unless you're her (points as Alice).
Alice: Well, we're excited for another World Cup, qualification or no qualification.
Margot: Yeah, I'm stuck with her annoying kids and mine while she travels with the team.

Alice: Well, that's it from us for now. Obviously we nothing much to report for now until the cup begins.

by **Sarzonia** » Sat May 17, 2025 12:09 pm

Is there ever a cure for imposter syndrome?

That's the question that continues to plague Sarzonian national football team manager Caleb Rush, even entering his fourth World Cup cycle as manager.

The thing about an affliction like imposter syndrome is that it often doesn't have a basis in logic. There's no rhyme nor reason to its existence in its victims, especially when the person in question is as accomplished in his three previous World Cup qualifying campaigns as Rush has been. He guided a team that was at best an afterthought and had completely overhauled its squad following a 5-0-9 World Cup 95 qualifying effort under previous manager and former Stars midfielder Brady Reynolds to a near-miss in a playoff loss to Juvencus, then a playoff win over Drawkland in World Cup 97's cycle that got the Stars into the proper for the first time since World Cup 85.

Now, after a quarterfinals appearance last time out, expectations are high for a team that enters ranked 11th in the KPB+ ranking system.

"Caleb," a reporter began, "You've guided this team to a phenomenal record the past three World Cup cycles, to the point where the Stars are now a Pot 1 side. How do you manage expectations for yourself and your team moving forward?"

"The mission doesn't change, even if the expectations do," Rush told the reporter. "We go into every match expecting a result, and I go in expecting everyone who dons the Sarzonia kit to put forth every effort to show it belongs on them."

"Coach, looking at Group 14, who stands out to you as a potential threat?"

"Everyone," Rush said, staring out stonily at the chuckles from some of the reporters, likely ones who didn't think of the home opener against unranked Francobalkan Peninsula at the brand new Nicole Lewis Stadium in Woodstock as a possible threat to rob three points from a Stars team fully expected to advance to the proper. "No, we're not a team that can afford to treat anyone as a minnow. Even the minnows we face have teeth."

"That said, in terms of rank, Vdara and Gnejs are our highest ranked opponents, but Drawkland are likely our biggest rivals in this group. Since we're the Pot 1 here, we don't face a Valanora, thankfully."

Finally, one reporter who looked unfamiliar to Rush despite wearing a press credential clearly from a Sarzonian outlet asked the one question he wasn't expecting.

"Coach, would you say you've healed from that imposter syndrome you've been reported having?"

Rush's eyes widened for a moment as his head inched back ever so slightly. He paused before answering for a moment, thinking about the question, and more importantly, how the slani hell this reporter knew about it.

"Pardon?"

"We located your file at the IFF [Incorporated Football Federation] headquarters. "Clearly, this team have done exceptionally well under your tutelage. You've silenced every last one of your harshest public critics, but what about the one in your head?"

Rush paused again for a few seconds, considering both the question and the invasion of privacy it demonstrated. He decided to press on, answering it as honestly as coachspeak possibly could.

"Well, I don't know if you ever really cure imposter syndrome," Rush said. "I just go out there and do my best and hopefully, eventually that silent critic shuts up once and for all, but it takes years of doing the work."

MD1: vs. (UR) Francobalkan Peninsula at Nicole Lewis Stadium in Woodstock (capacity 115,000)
MD2: at (89) Grand Exultia
MD3: vs. (196) Olastor at Nottingham Pavilion, Woodstock (capacity 14,800)
MD4: at (38) Gnejs
MD5: vs. (97) Bostopia at The Iron Bowl, Portland (capacity 78,936)
MD6: at (29) Vdara
MD7: vs. (256) Solgavden at Nottingham Pavilion
MD8: at (134) Vielfaltig
MD9: vs. (62) Drawkland at Nicole Lewis Stadium
MD10: at Francobalkan Peninsula
MD11: vs. (89) Grand Exultia at Shipyard Stadium, Wilmington (capacity 64,930)
MD12: at (196) Olastor
MD13: vs. (38) Gnejs at Nicole Lewis Stadium
MD14: at (97) Bostopia
MD15: vs. (29) Vdara at Nicole Lewis Stadium
MD16: at Solgavden
MD17: vs. Vielfaltig at Mike Sarzo Stadium, Nicksia (capacity 77,910)
MD18: at (62) Drawkland

by **Kamijiro** » Sat May 17, 2025 6:41 pm

When you look at the roster for the Kamijiroan National Team, you'll notice that there's a lot of players from a select group of clubs. Makes sense, the best players tend to congregate at the best clubs.

The leaderboard for most players by club on this roster goes like this:

-- Domestic Clubs --
1.  Miraisaki United   (7)
2.  Jirō Island        (5)
3.  Pwllheli           (4)
4T. Narakugai          (2)
4T. Porto de Kamijiro  (2)
6T. Miraisaki Athletic (1)
6T. Miraisaki City     (1)

-- International Clubs --
1T. Real Anasb, Saterun           (1)
1T. Kyethas Rivermen FC, Tikariot (1)

Which tracks for the most part. Miraisaki United, winners of the first season of the Kamijiroan Premier League in the three-tier era, have the most players. Jirō Island having five players is a bit surprising when you find out they were one point off of relegation (but that was mostly due to injuries to key players). Pwllheli pulls up right behind them with four players - the league runners-up. Porto de Kamijiro and Narakugai both have two, and they finished fifth and sixth in the league. And then there's the two other Miraisaki clubs, who both have one.

But... huh. That's odd. I can't seem to find Miraisaki Athletic on the league table. Maybe check the Antepremier League table? Nope, not there either. Bizarre. Oh, found them. Third place in the Semi-Pro League.
How the hell do they have a player in the national team?

Well, enter Keigo Nakaji. 17 years old, can't drink, can't smoke, can't vote, can't even drive. But... he's probably the hottest prospect in Kamijiro right now. In the Kamijiroan Cup, he brought the third-tier team all the way to the finals on his back and then dropped a hat-trick on Miraisaki United, their cross-town big brothers. Out of the 14 goals that Athletic scored in that cup run, he scored 7 and assisted 5. As soon as the domestic transfer window opened, his club suddenly had every club in the tiers above them calling. That's not even an exaggeration - every club. Especially considering Athletic failed to secure promotion to the second tier, it's pretty much considered a done deal that he's gone. Athletic are currently negotiating for every cent. It's a bidding war between every club. Narakugai, another Miraisaki-based club, offered a club-record 15,000,000 Jirō fee plus a sell-on clause, Jirō Island offered nearly 20,000,000 and installments and incentives. But the big two bidders are Miraisaki's biggest clubs - Miraisaki United and Miraisaki City. Both are ramping up their offers to a ridiculous degree. United offered 37,500,000 for him almost immediately after the Cup Final. Katsu Fujiwara, club captain demanded his manager to speak with ownership about a deal. But the surprise package in the bidding are City. Traditionally the smaller club of the pair, they've been able to somehow scrounge up 41,000,000 as of their latest offer. There is one rumor that's scaring the big clubs, though - Keigo (rumors say) wants to leave the country as a whole and play for a top-tier club abroad.

So, for now, Miraisaki Athletic, a third-tier club suddenly thrust into the spotlight after knocking off the best club in the country in a Cup final have one player on the National Team. They probably won't by the end of the World Cup, but for now... that's pretty cool for a club of their size. It'll be interesting to see how they do at the Cup Winners Cup - they'll likely be the smallest club there, the team that neutrals root for just for the novelty of the underdog story.

In the meantime, Keigo Nakaji will be joining the Kamijiro National Team as its youngest-ever senior player. Remember the name.

by **Visayas Islands** » Sat May 17, 2025 7:39 pm

BICOLANOS ARE SATISFIED WITH THE RETURN IN THE VISAYAN LEAGUES
Legazpi, Albay State, Bicolandia

The Bicolanos have been waiting for more than 3 decades to see the Bicolano representative team go back in action in the Visayan big leagues. This was proposed by Claudio Badong, the former president of the Bicolano Football Confederation in 2009 when he saw the rise of the Masbate football team when the Masbateños won the double in the 2008-09 season, both League and the Cup. Badong was a former player with the Uragons playing in 1979-1992 before transferring to AD Barotac Unido and end his career at his boyhood club in the Bicolano leagues, UE Nova Catalunya in Pandan. Now became a politician, he made some arrangements for talks between the two football associationns of Bicol and Visayas since 2011 until the Visayan FA decided that they would bring back the Uragons to the Visayan big leagues starting 2025/26 season. "I have never been so happy about my homeland going back to the Visayan leagues!", says Badong. "Hope the new generation of Bicolano footballers would improve their skills and promote them worldwide." A long-time Bicolano fan, Noel Esquivel was happy about to see the blue and reds back to Visayas. "It finally came true!", says Esquivel. "Now it's the time to make our players shine worldwide." Everyone in Bicolandia were happy about the return of the Uragons to the leagues since winning their last title in the 1993/94 cup season after a decision from the Bicolandia FA that they won't compete anymore in the Visayan leagues by a controversial president of the federation, José Miguel Talavera. The people are protesting this back in the 90s. But what he did was a change for the football federation, there are many clubs in Bicolandia wanted to play in the new Bicolano league, Liga Bicolandia (now Liga B), which was introduced in 1994-95 season to professionalize all Bicolano teams. But they miss the representative team that made Bicolandia proud. And now the Bicolandia FA will balance their professional league and their representative team in the Visayan leagues. Will they pull of a great success in the 3rd division?

by **Ko-oren** » Sun May 18, 2025 1:46 am

99% of players stop before they win! Don't let that be you.Play responsibly

Play now!

It's the same old, same old. If it ain't broken, don't fix it - and do know that we have had two dozen testers in just to make sure this edition hits the internet without gamebreaking bugs. We're not saying there are no bugs, mind you. Even if you're not here to pick your favourites, know that this edition has an overall table inside (this baby can fit so many national teams) and our patented, highly scientific Upset function. From now on you will be able to tell if your team's loss to pot 6's so-and-so is worse than the-team-you-hate's draw versus pot 9's what's-his-name. Disagree? Tough luck, we have the science.

Early picks suggest it could be a big cycle for the Dhemixia - in a way, the fantasy experts are dhemocracy manifest - and The Osnari Federation, straight out of the Baptism of Fire, could declare it's Osnaring Time. HOT-DAMN aren't strangers to good results, and the good vibes might continue. Audioslavia has also descended enough in the rankings to become an attractive pick for group 8, and we're seeing a lot spreadsheet-breaking Reçueçn as well. Huayramarca - how did they get that far down the list? - is also a huayse (that's 'wise') pick.

This game is brought to you by Cirrus cloud solutions and CelaDoN's lightning fast Content Delivery Network with built-in anti-DDOS technology.

by **Hapilopper** » Sun May 18, 2025 8:46 pm

THE RACE TO THE TOP HAS BEGUN
From Chris Macki, Editor, Dominion Sports News

As around 150 national teams of all skill sets and abilities from all over the multiverse prepare to start qualifying for the 99th World Cup, we can’t help but think about the turbulent last year that Hapiloppian football has endured since the Mainline national team was eliminated at the hands of Juvencus. We can’t help but think about the group stage exit that the beer leaguers, HOT-DAMN, faced at the hands of Valanora. Let’s go back a year and review what happened through the eyes of our newspaper.

Three days after the end of Hapilopper’s World Cup 98 efforts, we learned the news that Ernie Stevenson had left Ellis Football. Was he pushed out? Did he resign himself? Nobody really was saying anything. None of the national team players said anything, likely at the request of the Hapilopper Football Association. Certain players remarked that they “were not at liberty to say anything” and alluded to potential retaliation if they did. So the entire team went silent. And the only thing Ernie said was “I’m done, I’m seeking other opportunities.”

Behind the scenes, certain players told us anonymously that Ernie and a certain gameplan was the reason the Hapiloppian team had lost to Juvencus in the group stage of World Cup 98, and that gameplan led to Hapilopper’s downfall. They also told us that Thom Perkins, the acting head coach of the Ellis Football team, had shouted Ernie down after the match ended. We had it from three anonymous sources where Thom specifically told Ernie that “you’re the reason we’re going home!”

Ernie didn’t deny it, only telling us “sounds accurate.” Thom refused to say a word. A day after the story was published, we received an email from HFA head Dom Probst demanding to know who told us the quote. In the process, he tacitly admitted to the incident happening, saying “what happened after that loss was supposed to remain confidential.”

What we didn’t know in the aftermath of World Cup 98 was that changes were afoot in Anaia. The former Kensington Town Soccer Club had become the national team for HOT-DAMN, the Hapiloppian territory in Anaia. A number of players had realized they were unlikely to be able to compete with other national sides at the level they had gotten. At the same time, several players had contacted James Eaton, manager of the HOT-DAMN team, asking about the chance of playing for their national squad. And Ernie was just as interested in working for the team known then as “the beer leaguers.”

It took us, and the rest of you, by surprise, not long later, when Jimmy Eaton gleefully announced the new head coach for his national team. Ernie Stevenson, wearing a blue and Anaia green bomber jacket, came out to happily declare he had found his new home in New Hap City. He declared that his wife, Wendy, and their twin children, Nathan and Patty, had fallen in love with the area, and that he was there for the long run. It was the first major salvo in what had become a Hapiloppian arms race.

And it was a salvo that nobody at the HFA either wanted, or expected. It meant that the days of Kensington Town just fielding a beer league team that got lucky was over. It meant that Jimmy Eaton was well and truly on his way to rebuilding his team in the image of a top footballing power. When asked about the new hire, you could hear the smoke rising from the phone as Dom Probst burned the ears of anyone that would listen with some of the worst language heard since Drake Stevenson received his last two pit road speeding penalties in the most recent NSSCRA race. But after the salvo of F-bombs ceased, Probst said, ominously, that “we’re going to be considering action.”

Within days of the Stevenson announcement, it became known that HOT-DAMN had signed several top footballers to play for them. These were players that had bright futures, not just players looking to join a beer league and play against other bars. Consider the case of Cale Mallett, the star striker for Highway Patrol in Hapilopper City. He led the league in goals scored last year with 35, and led the league with most multi-goal matches with eight. You’d think he’d be a shoo-in to play for the Hapiloppian squad. Instead, he shockingly joined the HOT-DAMN squad, and made his opinions known very quickly.

“I’m a beer leaguer,” Mallett said at his introductory press conference. “I went where Ernie went, and that means I play for HOT-DAMN.”

Other players made the switch over. Cooter Harris, the country bumpkin that now runs the leading football school in the country, had his phone blow up as both Thom Perkins and Ernie Stevenson made call after call asking about some of his best and brightest. He let us know that, in no uncertain terms, that he was all in favor of it, and he was delighted to see his top students make it directly to the national teams.

“I mean, imagine a World Cup final where it’s Hapilopper and Hapilopper,” Harris told us. “This is what gets me excited. My boys playing in a World Cup final. Them Anaia boys are gonna make them Hap boys want to beat the other and they’s gonna get better for it.”

That appeared to be the case. Fans across Hapilopper watched with baited breath as their favorites chose Mainline Hapilopper or the new-look beer leaguer team. So did the TV networks: The Hapilopper Television Network briefly weighed the idea of holding an annual first-year player draft, where new national team hopefuls would be drafted into either the Ellis Football squad or the beer leaguer squad. It sounded like high drama and fun television, but if you asked Dom Probst or Thom Perkins about the idea, chances are you probably would have been greeted with a profanity and the phone hung up.

The HFA was openly hostile to the idea of Hapiloppian players choosing HOT-DAMN over Hapilopper. Probst let us know that he felt HOT-DAMN had been poaching national team hopefuls. As player after player joined the beer leaguers, Probst and Perkins agreed to change their own model. Rather than a permanent squad, Hapilopper would start a player pool. This larger group of players would be called up for national team duty, rather than one smaller permanent team. Cynics would say this was done to keep Hapiloppian players from joining the HOT-DAMN squad. Ernie was one of those cynics.

He complained quite publicly that Mainline Hapilopper had switched to this model specifically to spite the HOT-DAMN team.

“They want to hoard players so we can’t get them,” Ernie said. “We’ve been quite lucky with who we’ve got, but I find it interesting that all of a sudden they’re transitioning to a pool model like other nations have. We might have to do the same thing ourselves.”

The end result was that both Hapilopper and HOT-DAMN collected a group of good footballers from all over the Hapilopper Football Association and from Cooter Harris’s School of Fine Football Learnin’. Players that had been teammates on club squads found themselves on rival teams. And rivals in the HFA found themselves on the same team, playing with each other. For instance, Stan McLamb’s good friend and fellow goalscoring threat Justin Cherry on the Garvinson Trojans, signed with HOT-DAMN. While McLamb and Cherry score goals for the Trojans in the HFA, one will score for Hapilopper and the other will score for HOT-DAMN.

Not long later, Dom Probst put out a bombshell announcement, one that appeared to nip the idea of a Hapilopper/HOT-DAMN rivalry in the bud. Any player that participated in a WCC-sanctioned match for HOT-DAMN would instantly receive a lifetime ban from the Hapilopper Football Association. The move sent shockwaves through all of sports in Hapilopper and briefly made some HOT-DAMN players stop and take pause.

The move was enormously unpopular with everyone, so it seemed. Sponsors hated it. The Hapilopper Television Network hated it. Cooter Harris hated it. Even some HFA teams hated it. But Dom Probst was not wanting to budge.

“We have to maintain the sanctity of our national squad,” Probst said. “If we just allow another national team to exist, it’s going to weaken our own. These players from HOT-DAMN are going to quit if they want to keep their club team assignments. I’m not changing my mind on this.”

And that led to Ernie Stevenson going on his own tirade. It was the tirade we quoted on the front page of our newspaper a few weeks ago, something not all of you agreed with. But as we said then, we felt it was important to drive home just how angry Stevenson was and how frustrated he had been with the situation. Late one afternoon, Stevenson called Dominion Sports News and asked us to get our recorders ready, because he was going to let loose, and he wanted it quoted.

“Probst can go fuck himself,” he told us. “The cat is out of the bag and you can’t get him back in it. This sport is not going to succeed - ever - unless Probst gets his head out of his ass and realizes that his way is not the most beneficial way. We’ve got people in Hapilopper that are sick of Probst’s bullshit, and we’ve got people in Hapilopper sick of Perkins’ bullshit. Thom Perkins doesn’t know how the fuck to take responsibility for his own god damn actions. Dom Probst can’t handle the fact that another team in this country has a better fucking idea about how to do football than they do. HOT-DAMN made the knockout rounds last year and the Mainline Haps didn’t. You’ve got a good group of people here in Anaia, they’re gonna do some great things and we’re not going to let some power hungry shithead try to spoil our fun!”

Lawsuits have been filed. Attorneys are prepared to do battle in the legal arena over if the HFA will have any standing. It promises to be just as high-stakes a battle as anything on the football pitch this World Cup Cycle. Fans might be glued to opening arguments in Probst v. Eaton just as they will be for Kytler Peninsulae v. Hapilopper or HOT-DAMN v. Nexxus Drako. And if nothing else, we do know that this World Cup, the 99th, promises to be the most entertaining Hapilopper has ever been involved in. At worst, it will collapse into a big mess and take all of Hapiloppian football with it. At best, it will mean the Race to the Top will truly have started in earnest. It will mean that Hapilopper and HOT-DAMN’s quest to be the first to win the World Cup Proper will be well and truly underway.

And who will win? All of us.

by **Indusse** » Mon May 19, 2025 12:32 am

OOC: The Copyright message at the end of the post has been used from the standard copyright message from multiple books.

LexiRead™ > Web Edition
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The Half Blood Saga II
Chapter X
The New Dawn
Previous Edition
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Chapter VIII
Chapter IX

Three months had passed since the day of transformation. Adael stood on a bridge of twilight which was now neither pure light nor pure shadow, but a perfect blend of both that now connected Jehnara and Fararah permanently. Below, citizens of both worlds crossed freely, their natures subtly altered by the balance each now carried within.
"Finding it hard to believe Adael?" Ashear appeared beside him, her dark hair now streaked with silver—not from age, but from the transformation that had touched everyone. Around her neck hung a fragment of the original Sphere, fashioned into a pendant that glowed with inner light. Adael smiled, touching his own fragment that he wore similarly. "Every day brings something new. Did you see the gardens? Plants from Fararah growing alongside the Jehnaran crystal flowers. The High Luminary told that they never thought of such an event to happen in their lifetime."

"Transformation through integration," she quoted, nudging his shoulder playfully. "Your new favorite phrase." He laughed. "I sound like a Council member now, don't I?" "Speaking of which..." Ashear gestured toward the approaching figures of Aria and several other Luminaries, now joined by representatives from Fararah in their leadership circle. "Adael," Aria greeted him with a respectful nod. No longer was she merely the High Luminary; now she served as co-leader alongside Azahl in the newly formed Unity Council. "The eastern settlements report success with the integration protocols. Shadow essence is being properly balanced in the soil there."

"Good," Adael nodded. "And the former Turned?" "Nearly all have recovered," one of the Fararah representatives reported. "The memories of what happened remain, but the trauma fades. Your mother's healing techniques have been particularly effective."
As if summoned by mention, Mehrea appeared from one of the crystal towers that now bore delicate veins of shadow throughout its structure. The changes had affected her as well who was once had pure Jehnaran features and now showed hints of Fararah's earthier characteristics, a reverse of the transformation everyone had undergone.

"The school is ready," she announced, pride evident in her voice. "The first classes for children of both worlds begin tomorrow." Adael felt a surge of satisfaction. Education had been his priority in the rebuilding—ensuring that the knowledge of both worlds would be preserved and shared, that no future generation would grow up believing that light and shadow must be enemies. "And what of the Forge?" Ashear asked the question that still weighed on many minds. Aria exchanged a glance with Mehrea. "It has... changed. Like everything else. Ethran reports that it no longer speaks as it once did. Instead, it sings now a song of harmony of shadow and light that resonates throughout both realms."

"The ultimate balance," Adael murmured. "Your fathers are waiting," Mehrea reminded him gently. "Both of them. For the ceremony."
The ceremony. Adael had almost forgotten. Today was the day that was to mark the official opening of the Hall of Reflection which is meant to be a place where people could come to remember what had been lost, and to celebrate what had been gained. He nodded, taking Ashear's hand. Together they walked through the transformed city that existed between worlds. Jehnara's floating islands now anchored themselves periodically to Fararah's landscape, while Fararah's forests sometimes uprooted to drift among the clouds. Nothing remained purely what it had been once and that was precisely the point.

Ethran and Azahl stood in the central plaza, where the silver moonlight of Fararah's night blended with the golden light of Jehnara's sun in an everlasting twilight. They were formerly competitors for Mehrea's love and Adael's allegiance, but now they were brothers in arms because they respected each other's abilities. "There you are," Ethran called, his Jehnaran features now bearing the weathered look of a Fararah warrior. "We were beginning to think you'd found another world to save." Azahl, whose formerly earthbound appearance now shimmered with hints of Jehnaran light, laughed. "Give the boy a moment to breathe, Ethran. He's earned it."

"We all have," Adael replied. He looked around at the gathered crowd which considted of former refugees, Jehnaran nobles, transformed shadow creatures that now served as guardians of the twilight realms, even Miha and her flock of Quetzals who had taken to the new world with particular delight. Kael approached wearing his Guardian's armour which was now a blend of silver and obsidian. "It's time," he said simply, pointing to the veiled monument at the center of the plaza. Adael nodded, stepping forward. All eyes turned to him, the half-blood who had become whole by making everyone a little bit of both worlds.

"Three months ago," he began, his voice carrying across the hushed gathering, "we faced a choice between survival and death. Between purity and darkness. Between what was good and what was bad." He touched the fragment at his neck. "We chose the harder path, to carry both light and shadow within ourselves, to acknowledge that true balance isn't the separation of opposites, but their proper balance within each of us." He rose his hand towards the veiled monument. "This hall stands as a reminder of that choice. Inside, you will find reflections of not just of yourselves as you are now, but glimpses of what might have been. The future that the herald, that got averted through centuries of vigilance as well as the future we build now, together."

With a nod to Ashear, he grasped the veil. Together, they pulled it away, revealing a structure that seemed to shift and change as one looked at it. It was not pure crystal nor pure stone but now something in between. Its entrance reflected everyone who stood before it, but with subtle differences revealing the shadow in those who had been pure light, the light in those who had been pure shadow. "Remember," Adael said softly. "And choose, every day, to maintain the balance we have found." As the crowd moved forward to enter the Hall of Reflection, Adael felt a presence beside him this time not physical, more like an echo across time. For just a moment, he glimpsed the herald which was his future self that now would never be, nodding in approval before fading into the twilight.

Mehrea approached, linking her arm through his. "Are you ready for tomorrow's journey?" Adael smiled. The mapping expedition had been his idea for him to explore the new regions forming at the edges of both former worlds, where reality itself was creating something entirely new. "I've packed already," he confirmed. "Ashear insists on leading the scouting party." "Of course she does," Mehrea chuckled. "And your fathers?" "Both coming. They've actually agreed on something for once and that neither of them trusts me to stay out of trouble without supervision." Laughter rippled among their small family circle. Miha fluttered down to perch on Adael's shoulder, her feathers now bearing streaks of shadow that made her colors even more vibrant by contrast. "The balance holds," the Quetzal observed. "In all things."

Adael looked out over the two worlds that had become one this time not through conquest or subjugation, but through understanding and acceptance. He thought of the herald's words: Be wiser than I was. Had he been? Only time would tell. But one thing was certain, he would not face that time alone. "The balance holds," Adael agreed, watching as the first stars appeared in the twilight sky, those were stars that had never before been visible from either world alone. "And so do we."

Around his neck, the fragment of the Sphere pulsed gently with a rhythm like a heartbeat, light and shadow flowing in perfect harmony, a small but vital part of the greater balance that now sustained two worlds reborn as one. Neither Jehnara nor Fararah remained as they had been. But something better had taken their place. Something big.

The End

Copyright © Akiho Banwari.

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

http://www.lexiread.org

by **Juvencus** » Mon May 19, 2025 11:38 am

Il Scudelliano is under new management, one that presents the news about la squadra as it should instead of being a third party newspaper that supports the team only when it wants, and will remain that way until further notice

CHAMPIONS' AURA: IS WORLD CUP 99 THE ONE TO COME HOME?

Time and time again, gli attaccanti have found themselves champions of different competitions. Such victories have shaped up entire eras of Juven football for the years that followed, often with a new milestone being reached. Cup of Harmony 71's triumph translated to la squadra's first ever qualification to the World Cup proper the next cycle, all the way back to World Cup 80. Independents Cup 18's triumph saw la squadra improve on all aspects of its gameplay and eventually maintain a competitive enough squad to reach back to back World Cup knockout stages, in the end it concluded to yet another victory last cycle for Independents Cup 23. This could only mean one thing, a big change is imminent and la squadra is reaching a new goal that was beyond its capabilities beforehand.

Could this mean that Gaetan's predictions could come true? Likely, seeing the state of la squadra and its depth on all positions. Juvencus is in its best position ever, currently sitting in 10th and in an eavesdrop from many other giants of the game. It is a position of honor and one that has been earned with blood, sweat and tears. Very few squads could even consistently compete with this team, even fewer, if any, could beat it at the moment.

There is a multitude of reasons as to why Juvencus should be considered a favorite for the World Cup and it all starts with the qualification stages.

Winners' confidence: Independents Cup 23 was an unforgettable ride for la squadra, as was the previous cycle as a whole. Revenge felt sweet in the final against Crpostran, as the whole nation felt the exhilaration of yet another football triumph, the first one in years and one to take some of the weight off the shoulders of Gaetan and his self-made expectations. Many of the key players in la squadra are carrying this winners' confidence and aura, which could manifest with domination on the pitch.

Familiar foes: La squadra has well-known opposition in the group stages, including Valentine Z and Eshialand among others. Those are teams that la squadra has faced before in the settings of the Independents Cup mostly, where it has been mostly dominant against such opposition. With a different incentive on the line, these matches could be more competitive but at the same time this could work in la squadra's favor, as having the extra confidence against such foes could mean life or death.

Managerial masterpiece: Gaetan is a master of the media, he talks the talk and walks the walk, as was his gimmick in U.S Scudelli back in his club football coaching days. One day his microphone flamboyance is carrying through to the players, giving them an air of superiority in their gameplay. His player protection? Impeccable. Whether in win or loss, he always seems to find the exact description to elevate his players as much as possible. Lastly, it would not be a Gaetan description without mentioning his antics both with domestic as well as international media, he is a wartorn general and this team is an army moving forward.

Oscioru scare & Project 100: While never a footballing powerhouse, Oscioru's mere existence in the field is enough to push Juvencus onto new levels of gameplay. While inactive, Osci players opted to play for Juvencus' national team and as such cover any gaps Juven players could not, with Oscioru in the way now, the incentive to improve is there to maintain that big footballing gap as large as possible. Otherwise known as a consistent "gotcha". With Project 100 reaching its ending by next cycle, it is a necessity to get the exact results needed.

Keeping all these noted, la squadra has never been at a more beneficial spot towards pushing to World Cup glory. It is now or never and there is no going back from now onward. According to some, failure to win would mean that Project 100 would be considered a failure in its own right, despite the massive improvement and even the other accolades claimed along the way.

by **Natkr** » Mon May 19, 2025 2:22 pm

Big Things - Part 1

The rushing wind whipped around the poorly maintained pitch in Northwood, hitting young Kellan's face as he chased the football. Sand and dust danced around, swirling like giant tornadoes above the huge pitch. This ground, soil, pitch, whatever you want to call it, dubbed Fury Grounds, was the home of the Northwood Fury youth team, but to Kellan, it was his world. At fifteen, Kellan was a pretty small kid, a small bundle of joy with lots and lots of energy. His dark ponytail, escaping his small headband, dropped behind the makeshift cones of stones.

His cleats, which were too big for him, slipped off him often, but it ended up working out (occasionally). The feel of the ball on his shoes was the only rhythm that made him feel special and was a consistent thing in Kellan's life. Northwood, hidden in Northern Natkr, had always been a more quier spot in the country. But Northwood had always been different from the rest of Natkr. Everyone basically was. The people there were mostly nice, along with the long winters and the pretty brief summers in between.

The adults always tried to shield them, and their talks about it were usually quiet; their faces had an expression of worry and fear, but they knew. The kids knew. The absence of relatives, family members, the frequent noises outside the suburbs, the random silence around the city, these were things no kid could ignore (even if they tried to).

But to them, football was more than a game, it was a language, an art, a way to express yourself, a source of joy and pride through the suburbs in a region outshone by the rest. The Northwood Fury, despite their rusty grounds and old kits, expressed that through their football. Their head coach, Mr. Manek, a former shipyard worker who the team thinks has experience in yelling, stood on the sidelines, as his stature stood out on the rainy, cold ground. He watched attentively as the team ran their drills orderly, his occasional yells and groans loud in the team's ears were pretty normal.

"Kellan, faster on your run and turn! YOU'RE AN ATTACKING MIDFIELDER, NOT A DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER! YOU'RE CHASING THE DEFENDERS, NOT SHADOWS!"

Kellan gritted his teeth and pushed harder, as his body felt like it would burst. Excellence felt far away, not just for him, but for the team. The talks and whispers had started months ago, which was short, like the ground rumbling before a thunderstorm. Talks of trouble in the borderlands of Northwood rang over the city. Now it had gone from whispers to a low, consistent ring in the air, a background noise to their consistent training sessions, their lessons, their meals, basically their life.

Yet, when they were on the Fury Grounds, for those precious short hours of playing, they could ignore everything and everyone around them. The touch of the football, the feeling around their family (the team), and the challenge of playing to the best of their abilities for their families - these were joys in a field of happiness.

Today, however, even the simple football played felt tinged with major intensity, a different kind of intensity. Next week. Next week was the day. Tuesday, or next week, was the Northwood Fury U13/14 youth team were scheduled to travel south to Natkr's capital Skyhold for the national NPL Future Fury tournament (or the national youth championships). It was a memorable occasion and an honor for them, especially for a team for the northern mount of Natkr, a major result of their dedication and Manek's untouched faith and desire to the team.

But the growing unease and fear in the region threatened their over-whelming triumph and joy. The journey to the south was becoming extremely dangerous. News reports often talked about checkpoints and updated security on the roads. Parents worried, their joy now taken away for fear.

As the next training session came to a close, Mr. Manek gathered the boys to all huddle up, his usual intense face serious. His usual playful and joyfal attitude was absent. "Everyone," he began, his voice dropped in tone each time he talked, the wind holding its nonsense to listen. "You've all worked hard. You've all earned this chance to play. What's happening around us.. What all your family and relatives are dealing with.. it's heavy. I won't lie to you all."

He paused for a moment, his face sweeping across the young team, thought of his words next, with a mix of defiance reflecting back at him. "But remember one thing. Remember why we play. We play for the beauty of the game, for the fire in our stomachs, for everyone around us, for each other, and FOR NORTHWOOD!!! Whatever happens, no matter what, we go down to Skyhold as the Northwood Fury. We play our game, and we show them what we're made of."

A small chat of agreement seemed to go through the group. Kellan clenched his fists, fixed his knuckles, the familiar feel of dust and sweat around his body and the pitch, as it filled his nostrils quickly.

He looked around at his teammates - Finn, the skinny right-back who could secretly be in track (or what he calls himself - "right-wing-back"), Toney, the number 8 of the team with the best power shot Northwood's ever seen, and Kevin Torvin, the quiet kid but was a wall at goalkeeper. (Kevin is his name, Torvin is his middle name) They were more than teammates; to Kellan, they were the only people he had as friends in this dusty pitch.

As the sun began to dip down quietly below the horizon, casting a huge sunset over the Fury Arena, a different sound echoed and roared in the distance. It wasn't the typical sound of a crowd celebrating or cheering a goal. It was a deep, more heavy sound, the heavy sound and rumble of cranes, growing more and more louder each minute.

The boys each exchanged confused glances. Mr. Manek's jaw tightened. The giant sound in the distance was the major reminder that their small grounds, the "Fury Arena", might not be immune to everything happening beyond the dusty lands of Northwood. Their journey south to Skyhold, the tournament and matches that they had dreamed of, suddenly felt like a small hope in the middle of a awakening storm. Tune in next time to find out what happens on Big Things.

by **HUElavia** » Mon May 19, 2025 3:51 pm

The Road to Arrosia

HUElavia is given a solid group with strong odds to make World Cup 99!

After the disappointing run that was IAC 23, for the 2nd time ever, HUElavia was eliminated in the Quarter-Finals of one of the nation's favorite tournaments. But much like the horrid, agonizing Group Stage at World Cup 98, the IAC was another slogfest and HUElavia was mercifully taken out not in a deep stage of a tournament. Now, the team returns to a World Cup cycle, their 24th overall appearance in the World Cup Qualifiers. Having slid down to 27th, it is a sobering position to be in. Still seen as a Pot 2 team with expectations to qualify directly, but vulnerable enough to where they could be pipped off a direct spot and have to settle for playoffs or worse, elimination (and maybe back to the Cup of Harmony). Still, the HUElavian Football Association trusts the steady hand of Ignacio Casillas, who has brought the team their Cup of Harmony 89 and IAC 22 titles. And now, there is expectation for the team to gain a steady rhythm in their matches.

In the Qualifiers Draw, HUElavia (27) was put into Group 10 with the likes of: Archalit (160), Oscioru (252), Sadame (UR), Ochre Islands (79), United States of Nova Calania (68), Valanora (2), The Golden Harp (205), Brusseldorf (113), and Qusmo (48). HUElavia will be mainly competing against Valanora, Qusmo, United States of Nova Calania and Ochre Islands likely for the direct spots or playoffs. A balanced but challenging group that Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos cannot sleep on or underestimate their opponents.

9 Venues throughout HUElavia are to be selected and after the usual bids and discussion between the HFA, local governments and the Stadium owners and operators, the 9 venues for this cycle was announced as follows: Estadio Capital (90,000) in Curumba, Estadio Internacional (82,500) in San Rafael, Estádio Costeiro (78,000) in HUEsilia, Estadio Hueti (63,000) in Jinaqa, Estadio da Selva (58,000) in Natel, Hangul Stadium (55,000) in Gyeongan, Estadio de Plata (53,000) in Pamallu, Estadio Pereira (45,000) in Fronde, and Cog Stadium (40,000) in Caghia. As always, 85% of tickets will go to the general HUElavian public and the remaining 15% will be to the visiting supporters.

Thus, with the 9 venues selected, the HUElavian schedule will be as follows:

Matchday 1:
United States of Nova Calania vs HUElavia

Matchday 2:
Qusmo vs HUElavia

Matchday 3:
HUElavia vs Valanora
(Estádio Costeiro, HUEsilia, HUElavia)

Matchday 4:
The Golden Harp vs HUElavia

Matchday 5:
HUElavia vs Brusseldorf
(Estadio Hueti, Jinaqa, HUElavia)

Matchday 6:
Archalit vs HUElavia

Matchday 7:
HUElavia vs Oscioru
(Estadio Pereira, Fronde, HUElavia)

Matchday 8:
Sadame vs HUElavia

Matchday 9:
HUElavia vs Ochre Islands
(Estadio da Selva, Natel, HUElavia)

Matchday 10:
HUElavia vs United States of Nova Calania
(Estadio Internacional, San Rafael, HUElavia)

Matchday 11:
HUElavia vs Qusmo
(Estadio Capital, Curumba, HUElavia)

Matchday 12:
Valanora vs HUElavia

Matchday 13:
HUElavia vs The Golden Harp
(Estadio de Plata, Pamallu, HUElavia)

Matchday 14:
Brusseldorf vs HUElavia

Matchday 15:
HUElavia vs Archalit
(Hangul Stadium, Gyeongan, HUElavia)

Matchday 16:
Oscioru vs HUElavia

Matchday 17:
HUElavia vs Sadame
(Cog Stadium, Caghia, HUElavia)

Matchday 18:
Ochre Islands vs HUElavia

For the roster selected, essentially the IAC 23 team was called up once more, alongside a mixture of young talents and serviceable depth among the teams in the H1 League in HUElavia. The media and fans have reported to be satisfied with the picks. Although for the most part, the main 27 numbered players are expected to get the most minutes during these qualifiers. Coach Casillas was quoted saying "We're satisfied with the draw and we're looking forward to the matches. It is unfortunate that we have to deal with the strongest opponents in our group in the first three matches, but no use crying about spilled milk. We know we have to give it our best and go for the 3 points in each match. We've had these sort of matches before and we've been resilient before with dramatic, dominating or upset victories. I also trust the players I've selected for these 18 matches. I feel these offer the needed skills for the team and we have plenty of men and women to go out there and fight on the pitch. It's a team effort and I'm confident we should be among the 48 teams in Arrosia come 2134. We hope to count on our fans to make it a lively, electric atmosphere at HUElavia, while making it immensely intimidating to our opponents. We plan to take it a match at a time, practice and study our opponents well and make it another memorable Qualifying campaign."

It's an exciting time for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos, with fans flocking online and in person to purchase tickets, with hopes that the team can be among the 48 best of the Multiverse, and God willing another deep run.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

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No.	Name	Builder	Laid Down	Launched	Commissioned	Fate
VOR	VOORZICHTIGHEID	Kotr	31.7.1945	28.4.1947	31.11.1947	Decommissioned 15.10.1968, scrapped 1.3.1969
EEN	EENDRACHT	Kotr	1.2.1946	15.6.1948	27.10.1948	Decommissioned 18.4.1972, preserved
PRP	PRO PATRIA	Kotr	12.2.1946	8.10.1948	30.12.1948	Decommissioned 23.8.1972, scrapped 16.6.1973