World Cup 96 - Roleplay Thread

[Kimi-Suomi]

Back to the grind the Huuhkajat go. Where will it take us? No one knows! To say our debut CAFA was eventful would be an understatement as we managed to go on a deep run to end up finishing 5th overall. That certainly was a confidence boost for a team desperate to build off our first Ice War crown. Esko Laaksonen wanted to push forward and try and break the glass ceiling known as WCQ...but could it be done? Could we actually pull that one off? Only time could tell...

Up first would be a return to the fire and the flames as Mytanija, the top seeds in this group, were in Kimi Kaupunki to kick off the campaign at Pesä...and the home crowd was ready for a fight. This was our shot at the top seed and everyone knew it...and the game was played with that intensity. Crunching tackles, yellow cards galore, this game had it all...except for goals. A 0-0 draw. Better than nothing...but would we rue a missed opportunity at a scalp?

Then it was off to Central Junction to play a familiar foe in the form of Lakikieli - Legalese. Our familiarity meant that this game felt different to both sides and that could be seen in the back-and-forth nature this game ended up gaining, with both Laaskonen and Chogan Williams desperate for a statement of intent. Richie Funderbunk started out with one, a screamer after only 5 minutes, while it took us 34 minutes to respond, Teemu Räikkönen finding his way past Kawacatoose Swamp Johnson just about. Funderbunk found his way to his 2nd in the 56th while Karl Leif Svonsson proved his magic with a superb free kick in the 78th...leading to the 2-2 draw. A hard-fought draw...but one both teams must feel may bit them later on.

Two games, two points...but considering how tight this group is already, each of those points may count big time. After our bye, it's back to Pesä to play tennis-mad Reçueçn. NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 20)
MD1: vs Mytanija (23) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki D 0-0 (T-2nd)
MD2: @Lakikieli [Legalese] (258) - National Stadium, Central Junction D 2-2
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MD3: BYE
MD4: vs Recuecn (108) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
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MD5: @Brannfjord (79) - Blekebakken Stadion, Grimnes
MD6: vs Cassadaigua (43) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
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MD7: @Erishinmaat [The Erishlands] (291)
MD8: @Mytanija (23)
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MD9: vs Lakikieli [Legalese] (258) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
MD10: BYE
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MD11: @Recuecn (108)
MD12: vs Brannfjord (79) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
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MD13: @Cassadaigua (43) - Peak 'n' Break Stadium, Grande Mountain
MD14: vs Erishinmaat [The Erishlands] (291) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat

[Saterun]

Kameron Boyd threw his clipboard into the ground in frustration.

Saterun had just lost 0-1 against Tero al Disco, at home. Which followed an opening day loss to Aphrilia. They were the Independents Champions, for God's sake! And it made it even more frustrating that they had beaten this Aphrilian side on their magical run in the 20th IAC. While that success had immortalized Kameron and triggered a two-cycle extension clause, he knew that significant poor results could get him out early. Saterun's 96th WCQ campaign had just had the poorest of starts.

The players walked by with their heads down. Kameron angrily shoved the rest of his things in his bag, and went over to the locker room. He didn't feel like speaking, but he had to say something. The entire team was waiting, along with the coaching staff. "Practice tomorrow, at Carrowwood. 7 o'clock sharp." 2 hours earlier than usual was a bit harsh, but they needed all the time they could get. He had been lenient in choosing Carrowwood, one of the NT's more hospitable training grounds. He could have chosen the Birch Park fields, but he wasn't that cruel. After those two sentences, he trudged off to the media room. He would say more to his team tomorrow, but for now, he just wanted to leave.

After 30 minutes of answering senseless questions about his style of play, Kameron was all but done with it. When he finally got to leave, he rushed out to his car, screeched out of the parking lot, and was on the C5 connector home in a few minutes. Yes, he would have to wake up early tomorrow to get to Carrowwood, but he knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight. He needed to analyze the game. Once he was home, he immediately flipped up his laptop. For 3 hours, until 11 pm, he watched and rewatched the team slowly break down against Tero al Disco. But as he was about to close his laptop and attempt to sleep, he noticed something. Most of the time they lost the ball, the players had been stagnant, locked in position. He had noticed similar things against Aphrilia. Kameron's disciplined system, which had worked so well in the IAC, may have needed a tweak. He raced over to the whiteboard, and started the structure of a new tactical system.

At practice the next day, he noticed all of the players were quiet. Time to say something. "I hope you are all as disappointed as I am with the recent string of results. I know we've been out of action for a while following the IAC, but it is no excuse. We are better than these teams, we just need to show it." He paused for effect. "Alright. I noticed that we need to make some fundamental changes." He walked over to his tactics board, and started to draw. Slowly, understanding started to dawn on some of the mentally quicker players. Hans-Jürgen was the first to get it. That was one of the reasons he was captain. By the time Kameron was done explaining, he could see that there was still some confusion. Gradually, as he started demonstrating with players, they started to fully understand. "Coach, this is very new." Hans-Jürgen tentatively said. "What it is? I've never seen this at Futsworth." Kameron smiled. "It's still early, but I can it ganharbola." He smiled again. Ball-winning. That's exactly what his team were going to do.

*****

Around him, the Saterun squad sat in the away dressing room of the Beltzarga. They were away, against Audioslavia. 30 minutes before kickoff. Although not the highest seed in the group, Kameron felt that Audioslavia was going to be the toughest match. They had faced Cabo Azure before, but this was uncharted territory, against one of world football's most historic teams. And it was going to be his first test of ganharbola.

He could see the nervousness in the faces around him. "Alight, listen up." All eyes turned to him. "I know we're trying something new, but I need you all to take it in stride, and don't let it through you off your game. The first two games have been rough, but I believe you are on of the best teams in the Multiverse. You proved it in the IAC. Now go and prove it again." With that, he proceeded to give one final rundown of ganharbola. It kept some elements of the previous rigidity, but allowed for certain players to overlap like they had done in the IAC. He also allowed Andrei Coiro and Glenn Lundquist to have more freedom in going defensive or offensive. In short, it allowed players to play expressively while not losing shape. At least in theory. Now, it was time to set that into practice.

As he sat on the bench, he felt fully ready for what came next. Yes, they had had some challenges early on, but it was nothing that these Claws couldn't handle. And even though the first two games were less than ideal, Kameron fully believed that he could make history again by bringing Saterun to its first World Cup proper.

[Tanirinthia]

---

OF FATES AND FORTUNES
Chapter Two - The White Rabbit

---

The message still hung on her screen as she sat frozen, her mind however was racing. Who had sent her this message? There was nothing she could do to trace it, that's one of the main reasons she was a member of this usenet. However it did narrow down things, given that she would be as anonymous to those in the group, there were only a couple of people who knew her real identity and her identity in this group. But if they knew that, why wouldn't they be speaking to her directly, or at the very least be using an identity she herself would recognise? A prank? No she knew that some of them might be described as borderline troll sometimes but none of them would do this about her brothers death.

She must have leaked some side channel information, a conversation somewhere, a boast, displaying too much knowledge about a geographic area, someone must have connected the dots, and made the connection between her online and real identities. What else did they know, what's their game?

Suddenly jolted from her frozen body, she ran to start the process of wiping everything connecting her physical data to her online activities of which although she was completely proud of morally, she know full well of its illegality. Cursing of having to enact her armageddon protocol as she called it, having been so lax, what did she say to leak who she was, her brother would have a field day at her for being so lax.

Her brother.

He wouldn't ever have a field day at her again.

Frozen once again.

A numbness came over her, as the grief washed over her again, but with the numbness came clarity. She hadn't been lax, she was always careful, only the paranoid survive after all. Of the people who knew who she was online, her brother was one. What if this mystery person was someone he worked with, and trusted enough to share my secret with. It stung a bit, realising that he had told my secret to someone else, but clearly it ended up being the right call. All right then, she thought, let's follow this thread.

With a few taps of her keyboard she was searching for football charities, there were a lot of results and she didn't follow sports enough, this was going to be a long night, thank heavens the heat has broken she thought as she cracked her first Crimson Ox of the night.

[Bears Armed]

At the current home of football star Karra Brent, which is a rented flat in the town of Wimbley that is situated only a quarter-watch⁽¹⁾ or so's walk from this country's national football stadium, Karra is chatting with her oldest & best friend -- and former team-mate -- Lurrsee Fane Urrsen while they await the arrival of some other friends. One of Karra's old photo albums is lying on the living room's table, open at a pair of pages of photos from their days at Holy Ternian's School⁽²⁾, but their conversation has moved on to the topic of Lurrsee's daughter Errisabear and her school days... which are taking place at a different school, indeed at a school of a rather different type altogether: Hogwings Academy of Wizarding⁽³⁾.

"So, anyhows," Lurrsee concludes her story, it turns out that the culprits hrreally hrresponsible for that prank weren't the Ottrey twins -- the latest set of Ottrey twins, that is -- as most people there had been suspecting on the grounds of past form, they were the two fifth-form prefects from Owlwise Glade⁽⁴⁾ hwho simply wanted to see hwhether the set of Charms they'd put together would work as they thought should be the case... and as nobody was harmed by the effects they weren't hrreally punished for their actions: They did get given demerits for unsupervised use of experimental spell combinations and for casting on other pupils without getting their subjects' informed consent beforepaw, but then their Head of Glade balanced that by giving them merit marks for living up to the Glade's ideals by demonstrating intellectual curiosity and for successful hrresearch!"




_________________________________________________________________

OOC Footnotes

(1)_ A 'watch' is a sixteenth of a full day, and thus equivalent to ninety minutes on RL clocks, so a quarter-watch is equivalent to around 22-23 minutes... or, on Ursine clocks, to sixteen 'moments'.
(2)_ Think basically St Trinian's, but for [mainly] Bears and with less actual criminality.
(3)_ Think basically Hogwarts, but for [mainly] Bears.
(4)_ Owlwise Glade is basically Hogwings' counterparts to Hogwarts' 'Ravenclaw House'.

[Tikariot]

OOC Disclaimer: Content warning - this true crime series may contain imagery (no actual images, just words) that some people may find disconcerting. Reader discretion is advised.

Good evening Tikariot, welcome back to The Tikariot Files, where we look at some of Tikariot's most outrageous, brutal, mysterious criminal cases the nation has to offer - all of them unsolved.

The picture cuts to the logo of the show while images of prison cells, blood spatter and other crime-related footage is shown in the background, with a lone, sombre piano melody playing.

My name is Christoffer Akerbrandt, and I am the host of The Tikariot Files. We have gone into the archives and dove into some of the unsolved cases from Tikariot's history, from 100 years ago to the here and now. I will give a warning right from the get-go, some of the crimes we will cover, may be grisly, some may be unbelievable.

Today's case has been dubbed The Phantom Plunderers by the press and encompasses a series of spectacular heists that have captured both the imagination and attention of Tikariotians across the nation. Now, there are heists and then there are heists. The Phantom Plunderers did not just pull off your regular run-of-the-mill robberies but took things to a completely new level.

The saga began in Tikariot's capital Port Rhovanyon, less than a year ago when officials of a branch of First Rhovannyr Bank discovered one Monday morning that the bank's vault had been breached and emptied. There was no sign of forced entry, no alarms triggered, it was almost as if the thieves had walked in, opened the vault, emptied it and closed it back as if nothing ever happened. The investigation revealed the craftsmanship of the heist. The state-of-the-art security system, with biometric scanners, infrared motion detectors, and reinforced locking mechanisms, had been bypassed with surgical precision. Security footage showed no evidence of tampering, leaving investigators baffled as to how the perpetrators had managed to circumvent these defences.

Speculations surfaced that it must have been an incredibly elaborate job by a group of hackers. However, it took the police several days to determine how the Plunderers were able to secret away the loot. They discovered an elaborate system of tunnels underneath the bank, which forensic experts dated back to the time the bank was built. There was no security footage, no witnesses, nothing that could be used to pursue any leads.

The hubbub had just died down when news broke from across the nation that the Acrassia Provincial Museum in Alcassar had been the scene of a theft. This time, it was a large exhibition of very rare gemstones that had been on display in a very well-guarded room in the centre of the museum. There were no signs of forced entry, no alarms, no witnesses. The press was quick to draw parallels to the Port Rhovanyon heist.

While not as elaborate as the bank's security system, the museum's system had motion sensors, infrared lasers and guards around the perimeter, which again appeared to have been bypassed with amazing precision. Investigators picked up the theory that one or more master hackers had infiltrated the digital security network and manipulated the surveillance feeds. One detail that law enforcement had not publicized originally was that they found a little statue of a figure clad in a black monk's robe with a large cowl obscuring its face. An anonymous source leaked the information that a similar statue had been found in the First Rhovanyon's vault, tying the two heists together, giving way to the first instance headlines were talking about the Phantom Plunderers.

Again almost one month after the museum heist, it was a research facility that was breached, this time in the Frahulian capital of Guillarim. The location was fortified and built into the side of a mountain on the outskirts of Guillarim, but as you probably have guessed by now, there was no trace, no digital footprint. Nothing other than the monk's statue that had become the calling card of the Phantom Plunderers. What was less clear, however, was actually was stolen. Due to the high-security level of the facility, the police was very tight-lipped about the details, which, of course, let speculation run rampant among the public with theories ranging from biological weapons and classified data to genetically modified organisms and new, cutting edge technology.

What made the series of robberies so frustrating and intriguing was their unpredictability. Unlike typical crime sprees that concentrate on specific areas or have similar targets, these incidents were happening across the nation and targeting money, gemstones, classified research. Despite employing an army of forensic experts, psychological profilers and a huge task force that was finding itself increasingly stretched thin, there was no discernible pattern other than the meticulous operations and the little statues. There was no organization claiming responsibility, no employees or officials could be implicated, the police was standing in front of a huge mystery. Due to the sheer width of the operation, law enforcement could not even issue warnings or make prediction where or what the Plunderers would strike next. All they knew was that it was highly probable that they would inevitably strike again.

And strike again they did, only days before the filming of this episode. This time, it was on a private island off the shore of Lake Viljan, west of Fort Viljan. A secluded mansion overlooking the lake fell victim to the Plunderers, their target a priceless collection of artwork. The home to Staffan Andreasson, one of Tikariot's most eccentric billionaires, he had not spared any expenses when it came to securing prized possession, but to no avail. This was the first time, the Plunderers had struck a private person instead of a public facility. His collection was renowned across Rushmore, carefully curated over generations, inherited from his father and grandfather and expanded by Andreasson, paintings, sculptures, artifacts, all vanished without a trace. With the exception of the monk's statue.

As I said, this last case literally only happened mere days ago, so the Phantom Plunderers are likely far from done with their mysterious and spectacular series of heists. Will they strike again? Likely. Where will the strike? Nobody knows...

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: Lara Torridge roleplay NOT cleared with Vilwandia, again, but he has given me permission for me to shoot first and him to ask questions later cleared with Vilwandia at 5:13pm UTC on Friday. I'm aware that Labuschagne is a fully-fledged Other White Star in the year of our rubber chicken lady two-thousand and nine, but this was very much not the case when this RP series was being set three years previously.

---

Group of Six meeting (VII) --- SAINT ELEANOR 2-0 Arjunnagar
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Exandra Davies [ballot]
Location: National Liberation Club; Parkside district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

Preparing to fail does lead to failing to fail after all!

We convened at my local NLF Club by prior arrangement - two months prior, in fact - although no alcohol or indeed any other drinks were imbibed. As always, I have my nice, fancy highlighters: yellow for retrospectives, blue for points about us, green for points about our next opposition, pink for unknowns heading into the match.

There is very little that could have been said about yesterday's match, so I accordingly won't have to whip out the classic yellow so much today. What can be said is that we can still perform well even if we field our normal lineup. We were ordered, disciplined, and held the line for the entire match. David Newcastle, and later Steve Pilchard, chipped in with the goals which is in my mind the perfect definition of "Saint Eleanor had a really good time and didn't get into trouble at all." Gentle Breeze even made appropriate substitutions, too, which is always nice.

The consensus appears to be that Arjunnagar behaved like the sixth-seeds they are, regularly throwing away opportunities, not making much of the ones they did hold onto, and overall being less than perfect in terms of discipline. Exandra was rather confused at the main suggestion: "Wait, they're sixth? Out of seven, right? Crazy."

----------

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I don't think I'll be using my green one at all today, so sorry about that. As with Arjunnagar, we simply do not know what the Euran Oceania Territories will be doing. (Nor the Euran motherland, either. Alas.) A review of their roster from the glory days of 2001, when I'd just gotten out of Olympic and Eura not making the World Cup was a serious embarassment, suggests they run a 3-5-2, going on 3-4-3 on the ball, and are fairly attacking on the whole.

I wanted to break the worst news first, so we opened the tactical discussion by suggesting that taFrexala be put at right-back, a suggestion to which Exandra was receptive (and for good reason - they're fifth seeds, a fact she wasn't actually surprised at either). EOT doesn't have much of a midfield in attack but could snap back in defence quite easily, so the other big tactical change made was to remove Pilchard and replace him with Matsuda for a flat 4-5-1.

The possibility of inserting Carla Hawkins at goal, or Tim Hart at striker, was discussed but rejected. However, Stephen's promised that Tim will be brought on - for his international debut, no less! - at an appropriate point when Rick Goldsmith's services appear to be a bit worn out. There won't be much of a philosophical change from this game to the next one, with that said, and so we will be approaching EOT much like we did Arjunnagar: without too much drama.

The Grand Tour of Anaia - Vilwandia: There are culture clashes... and then there are clashes of culture clashes

by Lara Torridge - January 20th 2006

There are surprises, and then there are surprises that hit you when you least expect them. First of all, my flight was cancelled for reasons far beyond my control and my paygrade, leading me to take the boat to Dreport. Then I had just over nine hundred dollars on hand when I docked, and sought to have those exchanged into eteks for good reason. Was I expecting to just have them swapped one-for-one? Maybe not, but life has its ways of teaching you things.

Exchange rate: $907.50 = 907.50 eteks ($1 = 1 etek)

The learning curve got just that bit sharper in the markets around town. There are a few stalls selling merchandise, or apparent merchandise, of relevance to various Anaian nations, but the Eleanorian stall gives me more thought than most. There are a few cans of Aurora, bottles from the White Star brewery, books from the Eleanorian University Press and assuredly unofficial figurines. There are even a slew of black number-six shirts, back first, on display. The stallholder gives me a short lecture about how Bridget Coombe is the greatest footballer ever to live, or thereabouts in the ranking. I do not think even he sincerely believes that; certainly she does not. He then gives me one which I accept, apparently with gratitude, upon showing my passport.

I figure I could do with a few nights at a local hotel - whichever one was nearest, in fact. This one isn't widely heralded, and I have to explain myself a few times to get my desires across to the manager, even if it is just a room for a few nights. When I settle there, he calls me to come back down to get something important. I do so out of actual reluctance, only to be diverted to the restaurant, where I am offered another gift - and this time one I do appreciate in its own right. It's a meaty stew, heavy on seasoning and light on vegetables, and it turns out to be enough to get me through the rest of the day. An impressive achievement, given the amount of walking required.

There is a cap on how many cars are allowed in Vilwandia. I don't know what the cap is; I only even know it exists thanks once again to the generosity of the manager. I figure, though, that it would be worth my time walking to the nearest train station. That, it is: I put down a few more eteks for a seat on the next train to Eteksiville, the capital, a decision that once again took me by surprise. How, I imagined, are there still tickets available on such a busy route at this time?

Eteksiville, when I get there, strikes me as so sterile that some of the medicine students I befriended at the University could have used it to clean their utensils. The government buildings around the town centre are undeniably refined, for such a modern place. The private-sector places are, more or less, depressingly modern and shiny. It is a fine line to be walked, but one that appears to be crossed with all-too-alarming regularity. I enter a couple of the latter sort of building and explain my situation to the receptionists; one offers me a small vegetable soup and the rest just greet me to Vilwandia.

Questioning my purpose there, I decide to sneak onboard one of the trains back to Dreport without paying, or even getting noticed by the conductors. It wasn't the best decision I've ever made, and I imagine I will get a bill for a few dozen eteks landing through my door back home when I am inevitably tracked down and found, but it was worth the risk to get back to a place where I am already known and loved. I don't think I have time to love them back now, though; I figure I'll just go to bed.

Day 1: Summary

What I wore: the plain long-sleeved top, slim-fit jeans and brogues from the last couple of times
What I spent: just under 60 eteks, somehow
What I've got left over: 95 Eleanorian dollars; 850 eteks

By the time I wake up, I've realised that I'm actually doing a full loop of the learning roundabout. I finally put on my trainers (I'll be walking a lot) and my chronograph (I am in desperate need of telling the time, and the small alarm clock in my hotel room just will not cut it for obvious reasons). And then I decide I'd like to change the rest of my outfit too to take account of the conditions.

Umoya City, my next destination, requires another detour through Eteksiville. The more I see of it, and the places along the way, the more I have an appreciation of the fact that Eteksiville's modernity is very much purposeful; the stone buildings of elsewhere represent their relative tradition, of one sort or another. The first thing I decide to do there is jump into one of the local museums; I spend at least a couple of hours there and, by the time I get out, am surprisingly confident in my knowledge of the local culture.

Or am I? The other thing that becomes clear from my visit to Umoya City is that it is one of the hubs of the Impinga community. As much as I despised Eteksiville, it did at least have a coherent impression of friendly multiculturalism. The Impinga and Drea people have an immense distrust of each other, to the contrary: it was only three decades or so that the Impinga met with the Drea and their Audioslavian-sourced munitions, who easily overcame them in battle and subdued them into the modern Vilwandian nation. One man I meet in the café I bump into, which I initially only visited to drop a couple of eteks on a nice little espresso, tells me that "I hate those people." Another gives it to me more directly still: "You cannot trust anything they say."

While walking around town for the rest of the afternoon, I pass a building which some in the local area have advised, or perhaps warned, me has been used in the past by Breaking Siphamandla's Cage as a headquarters of sorts. A man then comes out of it, points at me, and gives me a reminder: "You. You are good." I don't bother to ask for his details; I'm not even sure if he is one of the few holdovers, a visitor from another Impinga community, or just a prankster. Nor do I know if the rumours are true. I have reason to believe he was being sincere, however.

Day 2: Summary

What I wore: classic jeans, the Saint Eleanor top, trainers and the forty-year-old chronograph watch
What I spent: a nice, round fifteen eteks
What I've got left over: 95 Eleanorian dollars; 835 eteks

Intakulu - a bit south of Umoya City, bordering the traditional Drea and Impinga countries - has a population of 2,500, several hundred times smaller than Eteksiville. The Village Green, where they play, can barely host 800 spectators. The town itself is otherwise hardly the kind of place most people would be particularly enthused by, unless you are much of a fitness person or a military history fan; I am neither. There are a couple of permanent shops and restaurants, but nothing in excess; that comes on the days the traders come into town. Dreport this is not, however, and the streets are deserted of hawkers today.

I decide to walk around town again looking for something to do, but figure that enough mindless ambling around is enough and head to the nearest shop. There, I find myself running into Naemi Labuschagne, one of Intakulu FC's players. The club, and Vilwandian football itself, is a bit of a novelty, so many of the players have second jobs; Labuschagne herself is a primary schoolteacher. She tells me that it is a joy to take care of the small, intimate, friendly and lovable classes at school every day. More of a joy than playing football for Vilwandia's undisputed best club every week, I ask? She's not drawn to comment, but does add that she isn't interested in playing for the national team for the time being.

I tell her a bit about my watch; she calmly assures me that she could not afford anything like that. When I ask her if the batteries in her classroom's wall clock are function, she anxiously assures me that they are - and that plenty of the ones elsewhere at school aren't, if they're present at all. I tell her I might like to become an officer in the Army, or a science teacher, perhaps even at primary level like she is... or maybe a generic bureaucrat. She tells me to go wherever my passion lies, and makes her trust that Saint Eleanor won't be backing up any Vilwandian military operations any time soon very clear.

Day 3: Summary

What I wore: exactly what I wore yesterday
What I spent: about five eteks
What I've got left over: 95 Eleanorian dollars; 830 eteks

I wake up in somebody else's bed. You'll be grateful to hear that this story doesn't have any unexpected twists: I was taken in as a lodger by another trusting Vilwandian who supposed that it was getting late for me and I need some overnight rest. I get served breakfast; it's hardly soup, but it'll do for me. Then I catch the train back to Dreport - paid for this time, thankfully - and immediately rush to the hotel to collect my luggage and apologise for not sleeping there last night. I'm refunded last night's fees, which sum to the cost of the train ticket, for the misgiving and handed a bar of imported chocolate. It's distinctly Anaian; I can't sense from where. Then I go to the bureau de change and have my money turned into Eleanorian dollars again

It is one of my regrets that I do not spend enough time in Dreport. But I am surprised more than enough by the people there. A few hundred metres from the dock, I'm apprehended by a man selling Mertagnian goods who wants to try to sell me a few things; when I ask him for a better price, I'm told there are at least four or five other Mertagnian merchants. I barely make it a few steps up before I'm presented with a couple of the books from the Two Pine Press's Mertagnian Classics collection. I hand him over five dollars and vow to him I'll get the rest of the series when I get home. I am currently writing these remarks on the ferry back, ready to report to Academy when I get to Koronavia, the next destination on my seemingly infinite bucket list. Who knew that boat - and train - travel could be so fun?

Day 4: Summary

What I wore: what I wore yesterday, again
What I spent: five Eleanorian dollars - and zero eteks, technically
What I've got left over: 95 Eleanorian dollars for emergencies; 825 eteks (converted to 825 Eleanorian dollars on hand)

Group of Six meeting (VIII) --- Euran Oceanian Territories 0-1 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Carla Hawkins [ballot]
Location: Maybe Fligsive, maybe Saint Eleanor. Who knows? Don't suppose I've had any to drink

ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE!!!!! We kept those OTHER ANAIAN ISLANDERS IN CHECK (yes I know about Ko-oren and Chromatika and suchlike, these are the only Anaian islanders who are our concern for the time being) and HIT THEM HARD

Speaking of "in check"... shall we run a little checklist?
Defenders being exemplary, not getting any cards and pretty much always getting the ball quickly: CHECK
Dynamic central midfield trio knowing where all the boxes have to be ticked and positioning themselves properly to get the job done: CHECK
Dave and Angie continuing to just kick ass and show those "Eurans" the kind of depth out wide they're missing: CHECK
Rick Goldsmith living up to his name, pushing those bastards, then giving way for Tim Hart to go one-for-one on Caps Scored In: CHECK
Bridget even had a nice cup of matcha to get herself to sleep instead of just crying her sorrows away: CHECK



Now that non-event of a starter, I MEAN VEHEMENT SUCCESS is over and done with, I can ask the big question... HOW CAN WE TURN ERAMAN INTO THE ERROR MEN????
Carla: "Where the fuck is the fucking teamsheet, I don't know how planning works"
Stephen: "Yeah this has been a recurring problem, but based on last cycle they also do a 4-2-3-1 normally. Also their players are really old all things considered"
GB: "I don't think anyone knows how planning works, except maybe Kaito Corporation who are building Atlas district out west"
Cathy: "What kind of house would you like to live in"
Bridget: "Well I live approximately this close to Northwest Road and I like it there"
Cathy: "No I meant if money and everything else were no object, philosophically speaking of course no actual objects means no housing"
Bridget: "I suppose a nice apartment, maybe even a penthouse. I'm single so not as much need to worry about space and other things"
Cathy: "Maybe I could build my own... it would be huge and inordinately pretty inside and out. Unofficial Winchester Estate Agents showhome, right?"
Carla: "Somewhere in Newbanks, greatest place in the world. Not surprised you poshos are talking about big houses, we back here in Newbanks are simple"
Bridget: "I'm not posh, my dad was in the Army and my mum was a schoolteacher. Well she still is. Also I've never owned a new car, only heavily used"
Stephen: "Presidential Palace 2.0 of course, what are you talking about"
GB: "That's an interesting question, it would depend on my budget, I'd have to look around the estate agents"
Me: "Don't care don't mind, anything with a roof is good for me at this point. Okay that's enough talk about houses, how do we deal with Eraman"
Carla: "Can I say we're safe as houses"
Me: "That's a good analogy but one I'd rather save until after Matchday Four when we play these Mandalanusans"
Bridget: "Ugh, why can't we have played the Unified Mandaran States instead"
GB: "Luck of the draw, or lack thereof. Anyway as Stephen said I hope they're playing a 4-2-3-1 like we're expecting"
Carla: "And what if they don't"
Stephen: "Well the formation's gotten us through a lot of games Carla, you've only been here two cycles so I can see why you're doubting"
Bridget: "I don't propose any changes to yesterday's lineup, in fact we should treat them like we did Arjunnagar and the Euran Esportivan Territories"
GB: "They're the Oceanian Territories..."
Bridget: "Whoops, not the kind of mistake you'd expect me to make"
GB: "But yes I agree in substance, we could put Wunderbar on in Sylvia's place?"
Carla: "That could, should and must work, if he gets sent off again we'll have more issues"
Cathy: "If we'd like to do a bit more risk-taking how about we bench Steve again and throw Kavezalea on"
Bridget: "Oh yes, that would be excellent... yes, I know it's a bit of a betrayal but this is the national team not my club team, or my other club team"
Stephen: "So the fundamentals, the defenders, the wide players, Rick Goldsmith, all of them still good you reckon"
GB: "Tim performed admirably for us, we should give him a second chance and see how it goes"
Me: "Yeah I reckon we can keep everything else untouched, I pity the back four being a bit overworked but I promise I'll give the other people a runout at some point"
Carla: "And what would that take, Esther getting sent off?"
Bridget: "No, don't say that, Esther is really sweet, I don't think she'd knowingly harm anyone for no good reason. Especially not the Eramanian unknowns"
Me: "I know right?"

QUOD ERAD DEMONSTRATUM OR HOWEVER IT'S SPELLED
KEEP KEEPING CALM AND CARRYING ON
OFFSIDE TRAP SURVIVES, DEFENDERS SURVIVE
MIDFIELD SHOULD HAVE A BIT MORE BITE, A BIT MORE DANGER
ERAMAN ARE STILL PRETTY DECENT
WE WOULDN'T MIND A DRAW BUT LET'S WIN THIS SHALL WE?

4-2-3-1:
___________ ARIELLE __________
CATHY - SAM - ESTHER - EXANDRA
____ BRIDGET - WUNDERBAR ____
_ DAVID - KAVEZELEA - ANGELICA _
_____________ TIM ____________

This motion picture was brought to you by Reniira Clevinger Studios

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Independent Athletes from Quebec (IAQ) - World Cup 96 Team
WINDOW 2 - @ Pasarga (Qualification), v. Commonwealth of Baker Park (Friendlies)

26-PLAYER ENTRY

GOALKEEPERS (3):
Goh Yeong-Rok (Montreal City), Innes Sheppard (Urrheddiao, CMT), Devon Qalicho (Zenit Attawapiskat)

DEFENDERS (9):
Ghislaine Barbieri (Anormalies, CMT), Giovanni Jurgen Berhalter (Jinja City FC, BNJ), Alain Delisle (Mipojoseon), Kira Dormann (FC Inter Nantwich, TMB), Esteban Flores (Lhor, CMT), Kim Gyeong-Seok (Urrheddiao, CMT), Candice Morrison (CSKA Quebec), Alexis Samurtok (Parakleion Firebirds FC, TKT), Frederic Yabusele (Atletik, MYT)

MIDFIELDERS (7):
Camille Chainey-Oh (CSKA Quebec), Maude Le Tissier (Whitepool, SYL), Jordan Mah (Océanic C.F. Langlois, KSK), Samuel McTavish (Lakewood City, TMB), Pyo Seung-Hye (Avondale City, SYL), Juan Aurelio Redondo (Montreal Koreana), Rebecca Anne Wawanolett (Chromatik, CMT)

FORWARDS (7):
Clyde Han (Wansan Noksaekjeonsa), Kim Sang-Wook (West Couno United, TMB), Anna Korniloff-Kouyate (Real Santa Mordana, KYP), Oberon M'bah-Pinho (Tihon, CMT), Corneille-Theophile Poulin (Avondale City, SYL), Amina Salihamidzic Beckie (Frenei Tor, CMT), Odette Tsioui (Perce Town)

Songak
Praetorian
News Website of the Decade!

Sir. Asher Lundrigan wins the 2064 Regimbault Prize for Literature

JANG DOO-HYEON
in JOONGYEONG, JOONGYEONG

When Sir. Asher C. Lundrigan invited me to his, mid-nineteenth century flat in Joongyeong, where he would stay occasionally for visits to the nation's capitol, the calm atmosphere of the place contrasted with that of the messy, chaotic setup of the quarters. 'Nothing had changed in the last twenty years, that's for sure,' he said, amused to see the surprise in my face. 'The kids never get used to it though, they are so used to the messiness back home but there's a slightly different feeling attached to it here, almost as if there's layers of control to it all.'

'There's a early-century feeling attached to it, transporting ourselves back to the Jacquean era, where there's both control and openness to the chaos of it all,' I said, perhaps in reminder of the tales of fathers' generation, to which he just gave a minor laugh. Sir. Asher's voice carried a raspier, deeper ring attached to it, perhaps reflecting the state of his health, but the joy stood there regardless.

One could allude from this interaction alone, though not commonly displayed in public, with the certain layer of humility, perhaps clairvoyance in sight, as the 43-year old Quebecois author, after he was announced as the winner of this year's Regimbault Prize in Literature. Lundrigan, the author of highly-acclaimed The Death of a Fratire Man (2049) and Orestes, Erigone (2053), as well as the first three books of a five-book epic In Search of Lost Past, was praised for 'his all-encompassing prose that provides perfect balance to time, space and feeling, while working with precision that is both rich and adequate in sentimentality'.

'The universal scope of his work, one that incorporates multiple eras, spanning across various folkloric, religious and yet modernist traditions, provide powerful delivery of his oeuvre,' said Jean-Pierre Dhavernas, the chair of the Royal Shingoryeoite Society. 'Lundrigan carries both the tradition of Quebeco-Shingoryeoite modernism and the epic to the highest standard, and evolves past it with both the past and the present.'

While his name has been listed among the likeliest to win it over the past half-decade, with multiple nominations and endorsements headed his way, Lundrigan, who usually resides at his home, Silverhills, in a small, quaint town of Saint-John-Upon-Battersea, Acadie, said that he was rather uninterested on his chances of winning.

'I am not the one to speculate over who would win it, at least not publicly, and certainly not that of my own,' said Lundrigan, who had been scheduled to deliver a yearly lecture at the Soongdeok Society of his alma mater, Universite St. Croix, when he received the news from the RSS representative the day before. 'So when I received a call from a private number, my automatic instinct was to just not answer it.

'But then I had a feeling that I should. Being a very private person myself, I almost never give out my number, so I thought - you know, you never know what could be the news right? - and answered the call. So I got the call, said my thanks and then quietly texted my wife before heading to the lecture.'

Lundrigan said there's only 'so much gratitude' he could say and give in order to receive the award. He, in particular, was not short of emphasising the value of cultural and literary traditions in times of uncertainty.

'In the times of continued international instability, further propelled by the economic and political crises, as well as the inexplicable occurrences to our logical minds out there, we have to remain more firm than ever to stand ground and fight for what we stand for,' Lundrigan said. 'And if my works can help fostering the standard, of values and environment that we could depend ourselves into the future, I will forever be grateful.'

It was a rare departure from Lundrigan, who was most recently knighted in 2062 for his 'contribution to contemporary Quebecois literature and culture'. The 43-year old writer, married to singer-songwriter Plongeon (Eileen de Ramaut) and father of three, has rarely made media appearances outside of those involving Universite St. Croix, his alma mater, due to his steadily-declining 'health conditions' long known to those close to him.

Considered a part of the early Taewha generation now consisting of those in their middle-aged existence, Lundrigan was born in Joongyeong in March 2021. His father, Robert, came from a naval family and had met his wife, then-Princess Athena de Chanie of Vdara, at Universite St. Croix. His father's occupation, which saw his family live in multiple countries across the Multiverse before eventual move to Kingston, Mahan, for his tenure as a NPD Member of Parliament, have influenced his writing. Exile, historicism, generational conflict and the questions of Quebeco-Shingoryeoiteness had been among more prominent themes in the novel, most notably incorporated in his sophomore novel All Hallows at the End of Toji (2051) and the ongoing In Search of Lost Past series.

His half-dozen years in Kingston would follow, and this is where the author's said to have his 'most curious, and yet innocent of times'. In his adoptive hometown, he primarily aspired to be a future Kingston Blue Jays catcher, and is still commonly remembered for his legacy as the the other side of the historic battery paired with Heo 'Mr. Baseball' Myeong-Shin, on the legendary Erskine Collegiate teams of mid-late 2030s.

But this is where Lundrigan, who enjoyed greater emotional stability after years of moves and family-wide instabilities, had been able to start gathering his roots and sentimental foundations. At age seventeen, Lundrigan had nearly died in a hostage in San Ortelio, and the subsequent fallout, which had included a 'life-altering realisation' and a breakup, is cited by close parties as those that influenced much of his views on adolescence.

Lundrgian studied history and comparative literature, while also playing catcher at the nationally-regarded baseball team, at the Universite St. Croix's St. Alban's College, with his senior-year dissertation conducted under the direction of legendary Heo Dong-Soo. After graduation he would move abroad, spending multiple years working as culture and sports writer for Landslide Global magazine in Pilbury, Grearia, before eventually returning to Joongyeong, Joongyeong, in the start of a two decade marriage with de Ramaut in her hometown. He would eventually earn his first break with short story collection, Necropole, in 2047. The success of Necropole and his first novel thereafter, The Death of a Fratire Man, have allowed him to stay a full-time writer since then.

This year's announcement, which is also accompanied by Q£ 400,000 ($1.2 million NSD) prize money, is considered to be a rather uneventful one, even if the significance of the honour in becoming the youngest ever recipient of the prize may suggest something. For most part, the awarding's considered to be within the grain of the prize, which usually had the reputation of valuing the artistic significance over political or pacifist values other literary prizes have come to make their names known in the years.

'There's no less of humility or gratitude coming from Sir. Asher,' said Maurice 'Moebius' de Bragnac, the Regimbault Prize committee secretary. 'He was very glad to have received the lifetime award, and said that this is perhaps one of the greatest days of his life that, he explicitly said, were increasingly becoming finite.'

[Huayramarca]

Matchday 3-4 RP Cutoff!

Many want to win, many want something like this!

[Qusmo]

The Mathletic
Informed analysis.

Qusmo’s team now, Qusmo’s team then: shades or shadows?
Reviewing Qusmo’s first pair of WC96Q matches

From the moment the draw was concluded, football fans from all across Qusmo circled the date of their team’s match in La Fantás on their calendars. It wasn’t just Qusmo’s first match in WCC competition since its infamous World Cup 83 campaign, in the midst of which its constitution was suspended & martial law was declared. It wasn’t just the team’s stiffest test on paper, an away fixture against the fourth-ranked side in the Multiverse, which had contested semifinals in both of the previous two editions of the World Cup.

Farfadillis in particular was a fascinating opponent for Qusmo’s first WCC match since its halcyon days of the early eighties, as Farfadillis had also been Qusmo’s opponent in what still stands as the latter country’s lone World Cup knockout round match to date. Having survived a group featuring seventeenth-ranked Darmen, seventh-ranked Turori, & fifth-ranked Brenecia, thanks to two wins & but a single goal conceded, Qusmo took sixth-ranked Farfadillis to penalties, before falling four-three in the shootout. Aged thirty-four, evergreen national team legend Ilinx-Kepex Zev scored every goal of Qusmo’s tournament, including one in that very match against Farfadillis.

Qusmo was now Tlanx-Nulzk Hal’s team, & they were charged with traveling to Farfadillis to earn a result against a team no less formidable than the vintage Ilinx-Kepex & company came so close to advancing past all those years ago. There were important & obvious differences in quality between the Qusmo team that played that octofinal fixture in Mar Sara & the version that traveled to Ferdullaele for a simple qualifier. For starters, Qusmo no longer had a domestic league to support player development, & partially as a result, the squad was old. Qusmo’s mean age is pushing thirty, & its a median age is past the milestone birthday altogether. Of the thirty player’s in Qusmo’s current pool, five play their domestic football in nations which do not enter IFCF competition, while another eight are signed to clubs which didn’t play in their nations’ top tier last season.

It seems clear this is a weaker squad. It’s also clearly much more inexperienced. Ida Sevet-Stokes received fourteen caps for Nephara during that nation’s WCC era & Yoltz-Jonto Cel was capped twice in Qusma friendlies in Qusmo’s pre-KMSQ era, but otherwise, no player on this roster boasts more than five caps, or any international experience at all aside from Qusmo’s Copa Rushmori XLV disaster. Say what you will about Ilinx-Kepex’s advanced age, but the Farfadillis octofinal was their ninety-sixth cap for Qusmo. There is no player on this roster with anything like that sort of experience, & no go-to player has yet emerged as the hero of this edition of the national team.

Still, not all the challenges represented by this roster’s composition are completely unheard of on Qusma shores. The mean & median ages of the Qusma World Cup roster in World Cup 82 was twenty-eight, only a couple years behind the current mark. Most notably of all, not a single Qusmi managed to score at the tournament save for a thirty-four-year-old central midfielder. Meanwhile, despite an admitted lack of depth, Qusmo does still boast impressive top-end talent, including multiple champions of the IFCF Champions League & SFA Superleague.

& after all, Qusmo debuted in World Cup 80 Qualifiers with a fully domestic-based roster, as an unranked nation with an unranked league & no players with any international experience at all, & even that weakest WCC campaign in Qusmo’s history managed to reach the Cup of Harmony knockout rounds. This team may be unranked, but the KPB rankings clearly underestimate Qusmo’s talent. With two Galacticos Manager of the Season gongs already under their belt thanks to their work at KF Qastyr & the national team of Savigliane, Tlanx-Nulzk will be expected to do something with this group of players.

The optimism surrounding Qusmo’s redebut on the international stage had been blunted by a horror Copa Rushmori campaign. Qusmo played five matches, earned but a single point, & conceded multiple goals in every match — a defensive performance that was particularly shameful for the team given the fact that it stood in such stark contrast to Qusmo’s performances under its sole previous manager, the defensive-minded Avarn-Oxolt Ban, whose teams only conceded only 1.16 goals per match & conceded one goal or fewer in 64% of the matches they played.

The returns from Qusmo’s opening pair of matches are mixed. Qusmo once again conceded multiple goals in its Farfadillis match, in a match in which they were unable to score. If there was any comfort to take from the performance, it at least came in an away fixture against Farfadillis, for decades now consistently one of the most potent attacking teams in the Multiverse. Qusmo also failed to score in its World Cup Qualifiers opener, a concerning sign given that even in their brutal Copa Rushmori, they at least managed to score in four of their five matches. Some disgruntled fans on social media even called for Fuzpon Qusma to sack Tlanx-Nulzk & replace them with a manager like Brelk-Xeral Erv, the former manager of Krytenia’s & Brenecia’s national teams, or Vanza-Jerat Gep, the former national team player themself who has enjoyed so much immediate success at Raynor City United.

Still, Qusmo’s second match showed their potential under Tlanx-Nulzk. In one hundred thirty-two matches, Avarn-Oxolt’s Qusmo team scored more than four times in a single match just three times. Tlanx-Nulzk has already done it in their second World Cup Qualifier. Indeed, it was both a vintage Qusma performance, harkening back to the team’s second-ever match, while also being something completely unique in Qusmo’s footballing history.

On one level, this is not the first time Qusmo has routed a reigning Baptism of Fire champion. Qusmo’s first-ever away fixture was a four-nil win over Beepee - on Matchday Two of their first-ever World Cup Qualifiers campaign, no less. However, the nature of Qusmo’s victory was something that was extremely rare under Avarn-Oxolt’s tenure. Qusmo’s five-two victory over Hakushiya matched its greatest goal difference in any competitive match it hosted in Qusmo, along with World Cup 81 Qualifier wins over Axuva & Rakivland. Furthermore, Tlanx-Nulzk’s first home match as Qusmo’s manager achieved the record for most goals scored in any competitive match at home. The team under Avarn-Oxolt had previously scored six goals in away World Cup Qualifiers against Eastfield Lodge & San José Guayabal, as well as a friendly against Wolves Clans, but never before had Qusma football fans been treated to such a scintillating attacking performance before their very eyes in a match that actually mattered. If there was any fan discontent after Qusmo’s Copa Rushmori campaign, or after the match in Farfadillis, it completely evaporated over the course of ninety minutes at Mastad Qusma.

The only thing that’s truly clear is that we will know much more soon. Avarn-Oxolt’s Qusmo started World Cup Qualifier campaigns in legendary fashion, with eight wins, no losses, no draws, twenty-two goals scored, & four goals conceded from their first two matches in any World Cup Qualifier campaign. Qusmo often trailed off once opponents got adjusted, though, only winning nine of their twenty-five other matches in the first halves of World Cup Qualifiers, compared to twelve losses, for a win rate of 36%, a points rate of 1.24 per match, & a total goal difference of -2. Given the sheer lousiness of Tlanx-Nulzk’s debut tournament with their home national team, the fact that the legendary days of Savigliane & Qastyr are far in the rear view mirror, & the sterling resumes of several other Qusma managers across the Multiverse, Qusmo’s manager could be on the hot seat far sooner than anyone could have anticipated before their hiring if the trajectory of the first half of Qusmo’s World Cup Qualifiers campaign resembles its pre-KMSQ campaigns.

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 4–2 The Kytler Peninsulae
(Rossi-Rigoni 10' (P), Canchon 38', 77', De La Cruz 55' | Vincent 43' (P), Markusson 86')
Estadio Nativo, Kuelap, HUElavia

Krytenia 3–2 HUElavia
(REDACTED 30', 89', REDACTED 59' | Taylor-Calañas 45', Watanabe 75')

Curumba

The Heart of HUElavia.

Nestled within the center/center-left of HUElavia is the state of Curumba, named after the Capital City that serves as the capital for both the state and country itself. Having an area of 42K mi2, it makes Curumba rank 36th out of 42 in terms of state size, but there is 40.7 million HUElavians living in the state, making it the 6th most populace state of the country.

Curumba
(Credit to The unified missourtama states for having saved this JPG)

Curumba was formed as an agreement between the Hueti, Portuzians, and Aestellians, serving as a neutral meeting point between the three main people of the country. Despite starting out as a major port between the halfway points of San Rafael to the East and Sao Salvador to the West, it ended up becoming the central point for HUElavia, being the first capital of the nation when East and West HUElavia merged together as one country. Today, the state and capital city serves as the main political and cultural capital of the country, bringing all ethnic groups that inhabit the country together into the melting pot of a region that it is today.

Curumba is of course filled with a wide variety of locations and activities for one to do. Serving as the Capital, Curumba inhabits 24.2 million HUElavians, making it the most populace city of the country, accounting for well over 60% of the state's population. One of the most famous locations is Parque Central, serving as the largest public park in HUElavia. People tend to use the park for exercise, taking in nature, hosting public events and enjoying the company of one another. Museo Nacional is another massive tourist attraction, serving as a museum for the collective history of HUElavia, from the Indigenous Hueti to the Portuzian and Aestellian colonization to the waves of Euroan, Aesian and Arican immigration to the country, showing off artifacts and culturally significant materials for people to view and learn from.

Parque Central


Museo Nacional

To the east, Solea is the major city of 2.5 million HUElavians that mainly serves as a major center of Aestellian culture, mainly having traditions linking to southern Aestellia. The city is known for its colorful festivals during the spring, celebrating with dances that incorporate HUElavian and Southern Aestellian styles, as well as its love for sports, having three different football venues for matches to be played. Another famous trait the city proudly shows off is its use of Gazpacho during the hot days in eastern Curumba.

Solea

To the southwest is Negrena Ser, home to 2.5 million HUElavians, which mainly leans off Portuzian Culture. Negrena Ser is mainly a port city, very industrialized, leaning into their Industrial identity as a selling point for tourists, serving mainly in the shipping and metal industries for the state, and being one of the major points in HUElavia as a whole. Despite that, there are plenty of nice beaches around the Bay of Hope as people enjoy a more quiet area compared to Curumba, where people can lounge around and enjoy their leisure time with less traffic to worry about.

To the northwest is Curumba National Park, one of the major national parks of the country. Here, it mainly serves to protect the various trees found throughout the country, as well as serving as a sanctuary for the Jaguar, HUElavia's National Animal. It is one of the biggest tourist attractions in the country, as well as the most visited National Park of the country.

[Delte]

---

Delte 3-2 Sudilia
Sports Correspondent Kim Samrodd at Ildemorton Road for the Deltemouth Tide Times

---

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match but certainly mention should be made of the performance of the Oxemite-mixer, Hilda Essquira, who combined the thick and salty meat extract paste with hot water to such perfect dilution and temperature that spectators suffering through the wet and windy conditions of Sudilia's visit to Ildemorton Road must've been much cheered. I am tempted to explore the cultural history of this delicious hot drink but I know the editor wants at least some comment on the quality of the football at this match, the third in the series to defend the World Cup title. It was less convincing than the hot beverage, providing some moments of joy yes, like the 'worldie' [is that actually a word now? - Ed] from our talismanic captain Enor Perro to equalise after the Sudilites had taken a surprise 2-1 lead. But also some moments of despair, like throwing away a good start to give the Sudilites a surprise 2-1 lead. After Enor Perro's stunner just after the restart, and Danny Mastorqa's second goal put the Reps back in front again, it was a swirling mess of wind, rain, mud, bad passing and even worse tackling, and we were all relieved when it was time to go home.

...which is why the hot Oxemite was so appreciated. Dogs bless you, Hilda Essquira. The three points was a bonus.

---

Even By Your Usual Standards
1/6 - A Shocking Death At Moralden Corner

---

The Rise & Rise of Coach Ida Spankhurst

‘Even by your usual standards,’ said Agent-2B to the dead woman, standing over the wrecked motorcycle on the T5572 Valley Road at Moralden Corner with a helmet under her arm, ‘I thought your cornering was in stunningly poor form.’

Whatever the disdain Agent-2B seemed to hold for the late journalist awkwardly twisted underneath the Oldyear 600 superbike, Polka Lunn surely did not deserve to be treated so dismissively after her years in the service of investigative journalism at the Oswark Parish Advertiser. But, before we get all emotional about it, we should remind ourselves she was - after all - quite deceased, and probably didn’t care that much. It was more a case of hubris on the part of Agent-2B, or perhaps she just liked to complete an assassination with an amusing quip, much like the cinematic heroes of the 1980s.

‘Goodnight, sweetheart,’ she said, leaning over the body of the journalist with a smile and placing the helmet over her head. I mean, really, that just came across as unnecessary.

Three days later, at the Sunny Aspects Retirement Home in Shingarter:

Ona Toughmoss, Sunny Aspects resident and sworn enemy of the Rake Teinton Women’s Institute, put down her well-read copy of the Oswark Parish Advertiser with the tragic headline about their late reporter, slipped her teeth into her mouth and her feet into her slippers, went to the top drawer where she kept her bloomers and the envelope marked ‘open in the event of my death’ that the young lady had dropped off to her just the week before. She took a stamp from her bedside cabinet, licked it wetly and fixed it to the envelope. She took her dressing gown off the back of her door, put it on, wrote the address of the Oswark Parish Advertiser on the envelope, pulled up the old sash window, and climbed out. She was going to the post office.

[Wight]

---

The Gentlemen Interregnum
2/6 - Messrs. Couth & Ruly

---

Or, why Wight, why now?

At The Office of Slight Returns, a scruffy rented suit above a launderette on Calle Tamarindes in the shabby business district of San Mustardo, Tapalupé City, Tequilo, the Wightling facsimile machine engineer Easy Bennett was busy at his temporary workstation trying to breathe new life into the old communication device. Georgie Gynn, the office intern, was trying to look busy nearby assisting the Gentlemen Interregnum by tapping away at her Lisa-2 computer. Actually she was more interested in the fax machine. Or perhaps the engineer. Difficult to tell - the eyes, you see: one eye on the Q and one on the shift, as they joke in administrative circles after hours.

She is attractive though - we all agree on that. Even Easy Bennett. Especially Easy.

Anyway.

Messrs. Couth & Ruly were in the office next door, planning the Slight Return of Wight. They had diagrams and mathematical papers and geolocational maps and chemistry formulas scattered across their desks, and calculators and slide rulers and notepads and those pens with the four colour selectors that are so highly underrated in Western civilisation. They had a constellation chart and a phone directory and the business card of Donna Maw, their freelance fixer with the chequered past and remarkable future.

But more of her another time, perhaps in World Cup 97. Or 100. We’ll see.

Mister Couth - or was it Mister Ruly? (they are very hard to tell apart, and happy, generally, to be collectively identified) - was looking at a printed sheet of property listings in Mandalusia region. Or Mandalanusia. Or Mandalanaia. I’m not sure which, it’s hard to keep up these days.

‘Well what about Esportiva?’ asked Mister Ruly - or was it Mister Couth - in his best old school BBC Received English. He twirled a mustachio speculatively. ‘You get a lot more for your money, what?’

‘But my dear fellow,’ said, err, the other one, ‘if it was about saving money, they practically give away whole island archipelagos in Ao these days. There’s even a couple of continents going spare.’

It was true. Especially after the raiders had run off with the last few caskets of dignified shreds. The only ones left are a bunch of slightly confused-looking Falcanian realtors trying to offload silent decaying leisure parks on deserted tropical beaches strewn with the wreckage of the scuttled Vilitan Navy and deadwood from Space. It had a certain charm. Imagine. Wight in Atlantian Oceania.

Mister Couth and Mister Ruly considered momentarily moving the project to Alikki-Cora. They had a certain mischievous dreamy look about them. But then in perfect time they shook their heads and dispelled the notion. What the two former Narrative Agents were looking for was something altogether more grand. Something fit for a king, for a king of uncertain dimensions.

[Srednjaci]

WORLD CUP 96 MERTAGNE & HUAYRAMARCA

RECOVERING IN SHORT TIME!

Srednjaci 1–1 Juvencus

1-0 69' Takanobu Tavano, assist Li Peng
1-1 89' Ceferino Audiol 

Dear viewers, good day. My name is Bojan Ivić and I am your host in the tv show dedicated to football. More precisely to the new cycle of qualifications for WC96!
After we suffered a heavy loss away to Brookstation in the first game of the first round of qualification for the world football championship, the first game at home came as well. We were visited by a team that is one of the favorites to qualify for the playoffs, Juvencus.
Juvencus is a good team, a powerful team, made up of great individuals, and the atmosphere in Melarit was great. We didn't know what to expect because our players didn't look good in the first game, compact and there were a lot of mistakes. Juventus is the 39th football nation in the world and their ambitions are really big. On the bench they have a great strategist Gael Gaetan - Scudellois who leads the team exclusively offensively and the players are technically very good and can do all the ideas of their coach.
At the very peak of the attack they have the great and fast Ceferino Audiol, alongside him are Gilberto Soares and Gilberto Soares. But they are powerless if their flow of quality balls from the center of the pitch is cut off. This is exactly the key to the game. Block the players in the middle of the field so that they do not feed the ball to the attackers. Our midfield players did exactly that. Simon Oliveira, Sara Ponce and Chimo Quaranta create huge problems for teams in the midfield. They are fast, coordinated and accurate, but if they are interrupted in their creativity, then the attackers are left alone and do not get as many quality balls forward.
On the other hand, Tavano and Zimmer played a lot forward, and the young Adalina Natković showed how fast and quality she is and she disturbed the opposing players a lot. It was this consumption on the field that led to her being replaced in the 74th minute of the game, and her job was continued to be performed brilliantly by Heong Min Ho.
In the 69th minute of the game, Davida Zimmer comes in from the left side, she sends a vertical ball towards Li Peng. Li Peng has his back to the opponent's goal and has no chance to shoot, but he saw that Takanobu Tavano runs into the empty space in front, Li Peng took the ball and passes to Tavano. Tavano shoots with his right foot, a sharp ball on the ground hits the left corner of the goal. The team Srednjaci lead 1-0!
That celebration of ours lasted only 20 minutes, and Juvencus, with a great counterattack in the 89th minute, equalized through Ceferino Audiol.
The first point was won and it has a lot of weight because it was won against a very strong opponent.

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Qasden 0–2 Srednjaci

0-1 38' Isidor Matković, assist Ante Tomljanović
0-2 75' Petra Marinović, assist Davida Zimmer

A new visit brought us a trip to Qasden. Another team that is ranked far better than us. However, our players showed the character of a good team in the last match against Juvencus. Finally, our players on the field look very good and well-coordinated.
The Merelin Park stadium in Elder accommodates 50,000 spectators. About 8,000 our fans came to watch our players. The stadium was filled to capacity.
Qasden dominated the first 20 minutes of the match. They had the ball in their possession and dictated the pace. Our players never managed to get possession of the ball. However, all of Qasden's attempts towards our goal were not dangerous, they did not have a good plan or coordination.
Our players slowly got rid of the pressure and dominated the middle of the field. The situation turned step by step in our favor. Qasden players found themselves in a defensive position. Our attacks were more and more frequent and dangerous. All this resulted in the first hit. After a great action created by our players, Li Peng shot with his head and the Qasden goalkeeper kicked the ball into the corner. From the left side, Zimmer throws the ball brilliantly to the edge of the box, Tomljanović cheats his keeper and passes the ball to Isidor Matković, who volleys into the net. Srednjaci lead 1-0!!!
In the second half, a similar situation. Qasden is more dominant and looking for an equaliser. Nervousness is high in their ranks. Li Peng goes to the bench in the 70th minute, and Petra Marinović replaces him. It was this change that brought us the second goal. In 75', Adela takes away one ball in the middle of the field, passes the ball to Davida Zimmer, the quick-footed Davida outruns her's keeper, great threat to the action of Petra Marinović. Davida saw that Petra had a chance to score, she passed a quick and sharp ball to Petra Marinović, and she masterfully scored the second goal.
Srednjaci have a 2-0 lead!!
That score remained until the end of the match. First win in these qualifications.
Congratulations to everyone!!!

[Flavovespia]

Kandorith 0 - 2 Flavovespia

In a key game in the group, Flavovespia were able to take the win to close the gap to the group leaders. On paper, this was always a challenge so the win feels extra good for the side.

It nearly was a disastrous start for Flavovespia. Less than a minute in, Stan Scott-Wilson was dispossessed on the wing, and a dangerous cross played in. A Kandorith striker got a head to the ball, but sent the header way over the bar, a relief for Flavovespia.

After that, it was a more balanced game for the first 30 minutes or so. A few half chances here and there, but nothing that forced the goalkeepers into anything spectacular. Flavovespia had their best chance in the 32nd minute. Michael Cole played in Amrik Singh, the winger cutting inside, but he scuffed his shot wide of the far post. Kandorith came close in the final seconds of the half, a header from a corner again just wide. Goalless at the break, the game was finely poised.

The second half started fairly steady. Again it was balanced, a few chances on both sides, but nothing too threatening. Kandorith were mire attacking, but Flavovespia looked keen on the counter attack, it was an intriguing tactical battle.

The breakthrough came in the 64th minute. A quick break saw Burden launch the ball downfield to Michael Cole. A clever one two with Christopher Hill opened up the space, and Michael Cole made no mistake with the finish, slotting in from just inside the box. Flavovespia had the lead, which seemed so key in this Pot 2 vs Pot 1 matchup.

Just 5 minutes later, the lead was doubled. This was a defensive error, an attempted pass out the back was straight at Jonathan Bagshaw. He was clean through with no chance of a defender getting back, and whilst the keeper got a hand to his shot, it still found the net.

The two goals seemed to have knocked Kandorith terminally in this game. Flavovespia could sit back more, and Kandorith struggled in the last 20 minutes to build attacks without an interception or ball rolling out of play. In the end, the 0-2 finished meant Flavovespia jumped to 5 points, 2nd place and 1 behind Kandorith. It was a key win in the context of the Qualifiers.

Flavovespia 4 - 1 Ekhistan

Flavovespia returned to Hadford Hill, and this time got a home win. Carrying the momentum from their previous win, they were able to beat Ekhistan and put themselves top of the group.

The same eleven as the previous game started this one, and this time they looked more comfortable from the start. Good passing and movement saw Ekhistan forced to defend hard in the early stages, and the Flavovespia defence looked calm in mopping up the few balls that entered their third.

Michael Cole opened the scoring in the 17th minute, the pressure paying off. Steady passing in the final third built up momentum, and a misstep by a defender let Charles Adams slot the ball through the middle. The goalkeeper rushed out early, but Cole rounded him to score.

3 minutes before the break and Flavovespia had a second. It was Michael Cole again, and he showed no signs of his age, diving through the air to head home an early cross by Jonathan Bagshaw. The image of him diving up to head the ball will already be one of the iconic images of this qualifying campaign. It was a 2 goal lead at the break, Flavovespia looking positive in this game.

Michael Cole was on a mission for a hat trick and he got it in the 58th minute. A free kick taken by Jonathan Bagshaw took a deflection off the wall. It looked like it could be going out, but on the half-volley, Cole stretched and curled the shot just inside of the post. 3-0, the veteran scoring them all so far to get a hat trick and show he’henot done yet.

It wouldn’t be all easy going for Flavovespia, and their defence was breached in the 65th minute. It was a rare error from Stuart Cookson, as he tried to head a cross out. Instead, he headed it straight to the winger coming at the far post. There was no chance for Nathan Crewe to stop the easy tap in.

In injury time, Ekhistan were still giving it their all. However that would cost them another goal. A corner was gathered up by Nathan Crewe and a huge kick downfield landed in the opposition half, with Jonathan Bagshaw the quickest of the outfielders to it. The goalkeeper had rushed out of his box to try and clear it, but Bagshaw was there first, he knocked it past the goalkeeper and practically dribbled into an empty net. 4-1 it finished, a spirited Ekhistan performance, but Flavovespia proved too much for them, particularly Michael Cole. A challenging away day at Adab is next, before a bye.

[Gnejs]

The End(a) of Times

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A blog about the decline of Union football (because of Enda Clentin)

I'll tell you what I hate about Enda Clentin.

I hate that he produces so thoroughly unconvincing wins. Pulling out the big guns and lining up the without-a-doubt strongest Dandelion eleven you could ever imagine (with full-fledged professionals playing in the biggest international leagues making up two thirds!!!) at home against a low-ranked team like Conania, and what do you expect to get? A full 11-0 blowout Steuerligen-style of course! And what does Enda give us? A 1-0 win, with the deciding goal coming in the 89th minute. You can’t spell pathetic without Clentin, as I’ve always said. And maybe you think that’s a one-off? No, no, no. «Old Enda» served the same stale old dish when they traveled to TJUN-ia; barely scraping by and then a late goal by Bardo to save face. You can’t spell embarrassing without Enda, as I always say. I know I’m often a negative voice in contemporary football discourse, but surely everything we’ve seen so far this cycle spells DOOOMM!!!

Comments:

By: #supportEnda

You’re so dishonest and inconsistent! You always say 1-0 victories are a thing of beauty and the hallmark of Northern Football!

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

Yea, if you’re playing Northern Football!!! If you’re trying to play southron football is just SAD!!!

Reply by: Clench_is_King

You’re lame!!!!

By Dandelion_Pride

You’re crazy!! They’re doing great, look at the table!!!! Clentin is Out-Delteing Delte!!!

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

You say that like it’s a good thing!!!!!!!

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Losing One’s Bearings

Previous Chapters of Losing One's Bearings:
Chapter One
Chapter Two (including map of Port Kejm)
Chapter Three
Chapter Four

CHAPTER FIVE

Advanced pawn

They had always said Roy-Kenneth was never going to amount to anything worthwhile. And they were right, if you confined your definition of accomplishment to their conventional straight and narrow manner of thinking. Fuck them, was his usual reply as a boy. Like that time old Mrs. Dreider caught him stealing knives from the arts and crafts room and scolded him for being a dangerous menace, when in actuality he wasn’t planning on stabbing anyone but rather selling the knives to Joar Jonsson and his gang down by the tramway depot in Mariannelund. It was always business, but none of the normies would ever understand that, so fuck them. He wasn’t a violent thug, no matter what the school janitor Mr. Killarvik used to say, and when he pelted Debby Dennison with those rocks or kicked the shit out of Thomas Dygdeman, it had nothing to do with being violent, but was all about them reneging on a deal they’d agreed to go through with.

Roy-Kenneth took another swig of his ale and downed another one of the shots of akvavit. The bar was starting to fill up, and they gradually turned the awful foreign music up. It was your average Wivalla bar, more or less. The decor was a sort of blend of old Kejm pubs and the more modern downtown bars. You had the traditional long and massive oak bar counter, but instead of the cozy and warm wooden furniture and the plush sofas it was coupled with beige, light-grey and turquoise walls, flimsy designer plastic chairs and an overly subdued lighting setup that made you squint. The clientele was about what you’d expect as well, with the local drunks who came when they opened up at 16.00 and stayed until around 21.00 or 22.00, when more and more students and other «young professionals» started showing up and taking over the place as time went on. People who had likely been drinking here for years, and way before anyone even thought about painting a wall the shade of candy or serving queer continental cocktails, displaced by spoiled and stupid kids just surfing on the waves of their pointless existence. He had continued to say «fuck you» to people like that. He wasn’t going to let any of them define who he was or what constituted «worthwhile». He was first and foremost a businessman and survivor, and he did what he wanted and what he needed to thrive and survive. Anyone could live their lives, with the meaningless job and the pathetic handout salary. None of them could live his life and survive more than a week. You want to talk about amounting to something, look at that kind of endurance and will. Fuck them, he thought to himself and ordered another shot of akvavit.

It seemed like an easy and straightforward enough job this evening. Nothing he hadn’t done before. The boss had made it all perfectly clear: get the foreign guy inside. Room 36, second floor. He hadn’t gotten any more information, but Roy-Kenneth didn’t need to know. He was a professional, and he did the job as described. If he had to guess though, it was probably some sort of blackmail setup. Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time some unsuspecting suit ended up in a room at Le Coq Sportif with something compromising to go with the velvet sheets. But all that was of no interest to him. Just another job.

He knew the place like the inside of his shirt pocket, and had it all planned out. They’d be going in through one of the side doors in the alley, which brought you into the slim hallway and where they kept the utilities. From there you could take the spiral staircase and get up to room 36 without anyone noticing you. Easy. Again, nothing he hadn’t done before. Roy-Kenneth wasn’t sure what kind of brothel name Le Coq Sportif was anyway, but you could tell the boss man - or The Boss Cock, as he insisted on being called - wanted you to think it was something fancy. Fair enough, some of it was pretty fancy, with the chandeliers, the big piano and the blue velvet. He could see and understand that those were nice things, but in the end you couldn’t deny it was all a vain attempt at trying to be something it wasn’t; Roy-Kenneth had never been down southron way, but even he could tell it was something continental like that it was aiming, but failing, to mimic. Not that he cared about such things. The boss was decent and put a lot of faith in Roy-Kenneth, and money in his pocket. That was all he needed.

He downed yet another shot of akvavit and looked at his watch. Soon, he thought to himself. The boss had said to look out for a swanky foreigner hanging around the little bistro on the corner, trying to look inconspicuous. Roy-Kenneth had initially thought that description to be far too vague, but he had been reassured he’d clock the mark as soon as he saw him. And true enough, as soon as the man walked into the bistro across the street, Roy-Kenneth knew it was him. There was definitely something «swanky» about him, and not just the elegance of his suit but also something about the way he moved; there was such a sense of natural self-confidence in his stride that Roy-Kenneth immediately developed an intense dislike for him
.
He got up and started moving towards the exit. Getting the magic fairy dust in his drink would be easy enough; he knew how to play that game. It was getting him to the alley that was the tricky part. While you could surmise a lot based on approximating weight and height, you could never be completely sure how someone would react to the dust. A pinch and a half, Roy-Kenneth wagered, but perhaps as much as two pinches. You don’t want to overdo it though, because that’ll knock him out completely and all of a sudden you’ve got a giant limp dick lying around, and getting that to the alley without people noticing will be near damned impossible. Roy-Kenneth made his way into the bistro and quickly located his target sitting at a table by one of the windows. He fiddled a bit with the small plastic bag in his pocket and studied the man. A pinch and three quarters, he thought to himself.

[The 14 Stars]

Starsian team maintain runner-up position

after the first two matches they were gonna have a bye on the third matchday, this allowed the players to relax and also do some much needed teambuilding and prepare for the third match against wight.
Where the veterans seemed to enjoy their day off and went to the city to go shopping or eat lunch anything besides football the younger players after a relaxing morning could be found on the training field.
On the previous day they had talked to coach Walcott and asked if young players and reserve could get some extra time to train during the off days and she had agreed with one specific proposal that came from Troy Rockwell the scout of the team.

He had collected a team of players that were not veterans and always had been near a place in the national team and wanted to showcase their skill to the new coach in the hope of being selected for the next regionals.
One veteran player Leroy Russell a 34 year old defender from Blizzard Academy has agreed to coach this other team created by Rockwell as he had the experience of many years and had played with many great players.
National teams side had 11 players while the other team consisted of 16 young league players in total the other players of the national team were out and about or had kindly rejected the offer.

NT players

GK - Davis
LB - Price
CB - Olsen
CB - Chiruchu
RB - Weber
LM - Hansen
CM - Fiore
RM - Weber
LW - Phillips
ST - Simon
RW - Al Abdullahh


Super League FC

GK - Isabella Costa
LB - Anja Eriksen
CB - Ruben Ares
CB - Chloe Hernandez
RB - Leonora Snowden
LM - Lucian Graves
CM - Mehmet Demir
RM - Johanna Koch
LW - Giulio Morefield
ST - Paula Nuñez
RW - Sarah Huber

reserves

GK- Liv Dahl
CB - Zachary White
CM - Selena Corson
ST - Lukas Lauritzen
CB - Luisa Zimmermann


As this practice match got underway it appeared the league players who were all rookies played very well but lacked experienced to really hurt the NT players and some missed playtime at their clubs aswell.
Quickly the National Team scored two goals by Phillips and Simon in the first half which put the League rookies at great distance and at halftime various changes were made within that squad to really stand a chance.
Most importantly Lauritzen replacing Nunez and also scoring the only goal of the game from a good pass by Koch putting him in a 1 on 1 situation with Davis scoring once for the league squad at the very end of the match.

According to Walcott she had seen certain good things and stated that the future of this country could be very bright with such a high level of youth development existent within the nation of the 14 Stars.

Wight game

For the match against Wight the usual line-up was used there were no special changes or anything and as the teams kicked off a pretty equal match started for the first half an hour in the stadium.
Many hoped for a win because this would put our nation in a good spot to go through but Wight was the first one to find the back of the net after approximately 35 minutes after a free kick and a miscommunication in the defense, the first goal was certainly important and had its influence on the halftime changes made by manager Walcott.
This time she decided to keep Schulz on the field, the forward had been unable to score so far but also did not get any full match to play and instead took both Karazhan and Raharinaivo off the field.
She brought Freja Olsen as an extra defender and Samantha Lee as an extra midfielder and also took Edwards off the field in favor of Eva Weber creating the following formation on the paper.

5 defenders but two of those were ''wingbacks'' Weber and Saturn they would assist the midfield in offense and return to the defense when defending putting in more offensive capability and ability to reach the strikers.
In the second half the Wight formation was not used to a complete formation overhaul and the Starsian surprised them early on with a great run from Eva Weber crossing the ball into the box after good combinations with Kira Blade getting the ball to Schulz.
Schulz saw the ball was very hard to head into the goal so he went for an overhead and hit the ball in a way it went past the defense and out of reach of a surprised goalkeeper and raging defenders claiming dangerous play.

After consideration and the referee looking at the video it was decided that the overhead was not a dangerous play and the goal counted giving Schulz his first goal of the tournament also securing the only point for the Starsians in this round.
In the next round the most tough teams still waited such as Brookstation and Juvencus, if they could even win just one match there it would greatly benefit them on the road to a world cup qualification.
With the current group of players it was more then possible and Walcott's great decision making already is started to be praised as she immediately made good use of the players and their capabilities and prevented a loss.

[Hakushiya]

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Hakushiyan news. And then some discretion.

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SHOWBIZ ▽ | SPORTS ▽ | SOCIAL SPHERE ▽ | BY STATE ▽ | ABOUT US ▽ | CiCiCALENDAR

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Top topics at this hour: 96th NS World Cup | JWHF10 | Kiana Knight | Selkie Spring Festival | WorldVision 113 | Pita Serelia

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#roundCup: Oiseaux-Féderals double-slash Pirates back home at TikiPointe match, tie with Llamas for nul points away
last updated Mar 29, 2024 at 09:00 (UTC+3) | by Monique Dalhousie

• MD3: Hakushiyan Oiseaux-Féderals vs Archalitian Pirates (at home in Nordenbourg) - after losing out on three goals in Qusmo our birds ended up double-slashing against the pirates of Archalit (5-3), again without a single red/yellow card in sight for both sides that'd make the whole match remind us of the "Massacre at Paladon Park" that took place during the BoF83 semifinals... nice, right?
• MD4: Esporonian Llamas vs Hakushiyan Oiseaux-Féderals (away in Esporonia) - this one was more of a chaotic match with both sides being stuck at nul points in terms of goals by the end (0-0), with the triple-yellow-carding on both sides not really helping either (Jamal and Bahorski for leaving the playing field without the referee's permission at the 34' mark, Minogue for trying to handball the Hakushiyans to a goal by mistake at 49', Phua and Li for arguing with each other at 69', and Peters for intentionally attempting a kick on Tuan's back at 71'). Guess that means you can't really fight the llamas' heat too much...
• Uhlgren and Yuzuki: waiting for a return? - none of us here seem to have had enough of the dealings between the Oiseaux-Féderals and Terns ever since that opening qualifier match between the two that ended in a tie, with Heiki Uhlgren from the latter side and Asa Yuzuki from the former side reportedly having posted their status as "looking forward to a return leg someday in the future"... with some rumors swirling around that those two players might be developing a slow-burning romance.
• and finally… some music to round up to: “All In” by Olyvia Kingsington - knowing how Lynette Jung could've been sued by Esther Winterbourne and co over plagiarism-related allegations had she not worked with WV112 alumni Ravine Nichols on another instrumental for that contest (which became "My Rare Psyche") just made me wonder why this Llaltese song from last year's WorldVision repertoire would be the perfect round-up soundtrack for a soccer tourney several months later... and it turns out the gambling-related lyrics could apply to how some people make assisted bets for soccer here in Hakushiya as well, huh?

Monique Dalhousie
PART-TIME CONTRIBUTOR
19+ | enby | they/them | writing from Malmo Rock, Avadong, Hakushiya | sports/showbiz-focused
(Globbr handle: @momomonique_d)

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STARTING LINEUPS FOR HAKUSHIYA v POLAR ISLANDSTATES - 28/Mar/2024 @ 07:00 (UTC+7)
(NB: 1Y = one yellow card, 2Y = two yellow cards, DNF = withdrew with explicit permission, DSQ = ejected with a red card, GO = goalscorer)
——————————
HAKUSHIYA (HKA):
GKP   Anggun DELAUNAY
DEF   Janis PARK
DEF   Elio JAMAL
DEF   Tomi GALLAGHER (GO)
DEF   Cady HONG
ATK   Dannii PAPARIZOU
ATK   Lily IKUTA (GO)
ATK   Courtney PHUA (GO)
ATK   Torfun CHIEWCHENGOL
MID   Nemo THUNBERG (GO)
MID   Aden NEUWIRTH (GO)
MID   Dana GODIN
——————————
ARCHALIT (ARC):
GKP   MOG
DEF   Sophie ISHIDA (GO)
DEF   Grady LOGAN
DEF   Flare SPECTRO
ATK   Cynthia HARMONIA
ATK   Lyndon NIGHTMARE (GO)
ATK   Minato GEE (GO)
ATK   Sean OPRAH
MID   August ARMBURST
MID   Duke SONDAS
MID   Ethan SAN
MID   Donovan FLUFFLES

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STARTING LINEUPS FOR ESPORONIA v HAKUSHIYA - 29/Mar/2024 @ 07:00 (UTC+7)
(NB: 1Y = one yellow card, 2Y = two yellow cards, DNF = withdrew with explicit permission, DSQ = ejected with a red card, GO = goalscorer)
——————————
ESPORONIA (ESP):
GKP   Brandon ROBINS
DEF   Juan GONZALEZ
DEF   Solomon PETERS (1Y)
DEF   Andrew WARREN
DEF   Giovanni D’ANGELO
ATK   Lawrence LI (1Y)
ATK   Cameron MCTHIGHE
ATK   Keon WILSON
MID   Darius BAHORSKI (1Y)
MID   Caleb HANSEN
MID   Trevor MEDINA
——————————
HAKUSHIYA (HKA):
GKP   Momo ARATAKI
DEF   Susu BELAFONTE
DEF   Elio JAMAL (1Y)
DEF   Winter MINOGUE (1Y)
DEF   Damian MONTAIGNE
ATK   Reggie KIM
ATK   Courtney PHUA (1Y)
ATK   Keena SHUM
ATK   Dannii PAPARIZOU
MID   Cher SCHWEITZER
MID   Mans TUAN
MID   Kelly NIELSEN

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Losing One’s Bearings

Previous Chapters of Losing One's Bearings:
Chapter One, Chapter Two (including map of Port Kejm), Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five

CHAPTER SIX

There is nothing accidental

David suddenly became conscious of a pounding in his head, which currently felt like it was swimming in goop.

“░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░░░”

And some sort of buzzing, sounding like a fluorescent light, emerged from the murk.

“░░░░ ░░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░ ░░░ ░░░░░░░░”

David groaned in response to whatever that was. He shut his eyes harder. He did not want to deal with the light until he figured out…

Where was he? Why did he feel hungover? He hadn’t been drinking. At least he couldn’t remember drinking. He couldn’t remember much of anything. He started to roll to his left.

«I wouldn’t roll that direction if I were you.» A voice bubbled up. That had been a voice?

What? He finally opened his eyes, and he snapped to attention.

«Oh dear oh dear oh dear.»

Laying next to him was Rodolphe Pouliquen, dead.

David sat up quickly, started to shuffle back. Felt his head and stomach churn. Gagged.

«Easy does it. You’re not going to get sick on my furniture.»

Rodolphe was splayed out, hanging off a couch, tongue lolled out his mouth, and his head was clearly bashed in on the side, a puddle of blood soaking into the carpet. In the dim room, the blue neon lighting gave the whole scene a surreal, sickly coloring.

David turned away from the body to look at a man standing in the doorway. A man in a gaudy button-down shirt looking at a passport.

«Ambassador David de Blois, I presume.»

It was his Oberour Ar Moro passport. His Oberour Ar Moro diplomatic passport.

«I haven't had the pleasure to entertain many ambassadors in the past. And we certainly haven't had any ambassadors end up in a situation like this.»

The gaudy-looking man looked at Rodolphe as though he saw dead men all the time.

«Now, Mr. Pouliquen here, he’s been here a couple of times. Enjoyed the-»

He said a Gnejs word David didn’t know. Something about produce? It was hard to keep up. Some mixture of his pounding head, the guy's slangy-foreign-language, and the small matter of the presence of a dead body in the same room, was holding David back from clarity.

The man shook his head in mock sorrow. «Such a shame. Rodolphe Pouliquen of Cavaco Ball Bearings. Their lubricated oil bearing torques are almost comparable to grease-lubricated bearings.»

David, wide eyed, looked about the room. He and Rodolphe were sharing a bed. It had silken sheets, mostly pulled off, presumably by Rodolphe. In the center of the room there was a toppled table. There apparently had been a bowl on the table, and the bowl was in pieces on the ground. Little square packets littered the floor. Condoms?

The room was small, cramped. A neon blue light tube circled the room, cut off by a window, curtains drawn. David looked up and saw his reflection in the mirrored ceiling. And saw Rodolphe again.

«The police could be here in about ten minutes if I make the call right now. Once they are here you can use your diplomatic immunity to explain why you're in a room with a dead man. Or you can be out of here, with my help,» the gaudy man said. He puffed himself up, and introduced himself:

«I am The Boss Cock.»

«The Boss Cock?» David repeated, incredulously. He could only just talk, his mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

«You found your voice finally,» The Boss Cock (really?, David thought) chastised, then continued.

«Now, I have been quite willing to look the other way at quite a bit here in the past. It’s not my business what two or more adults do between closed doors here at Le Coq Sportif. However,» The Boss Cock leaned forward, mockingly scolding, shaking a finger at David. «This I cannot abide by. A dead man! In my establishment! Murdered!»

“Murdered?!” David was so shocked he reverted to Azertienne momentarily. He looked at Rodolphe again. Murdered? But who murdered him…

«No! I… no!»

The Boss Cock shrugged, closed his eyes, shook his head. «It certainly looks like he was murdered. And since he’s in the company of a strange man, I imagine the police would think that the murderer was you.» He looked at the passport again, then closed it, before using the corner of David’s very official diplomatic documentation to scratch his hairy chest poking out of his shirt. «But? If you’re not here? If I practice mercy and let you go and act as though I didn’t see you? They might not pin it on you. At least not immediately.»

David’s aching head reeled. He is in a room with a dead man. A dead Oberour. A murdered Oberour. Was he really murdered? Maybe Rodolphe slipped. He should report this. Cooperate. He has diplomatic immunity; they can’t arrest him. He’s not a murderer. It may have been an accident. The murderer is somewhere else. If there is a murderer. The murderer might be that Cock over there. But if Regium got a report that he had been at a crime scene and couldn’t account for himself…

«I’ll be glad to help you out. You won’t even have to do anything for me. At least not immediately. After all…» The Boss Cock flipped open David’s passport again, then pulled out his phone and took a photograph of the pertinent details. The faux-shutter sound made David wince. «I know where to find you.»

David looked up at the devil in front of him. He offered David his passport, shook it slightly.

«So what do you say?»

David stood up, unsteadily. He patted himself down. It seemed like he had what he would bring with him on personal business in his pockets. His clothes were unkempt. His hair was matted. He had developed a five o’clock shadow.

David stepped forward and took the passport and moved to push past The Boss Cock. The Cock did not move, and David bumped into him.

«I will be back in touch, Ambassador,» The Cock warned. «It will be quite the pleasure doing business.»

The Boss Cock then stepped out of the doorway into the hall. He wasn’t even paying attention to David moving past him as he started to type in a number on his phone. «Down the hall to the right, take the stairs, second door. Safe travels!»

Steadying himself against the wall with his hand as he started walking, he heard The Boss Cock start muttering into his phone.

[Jeruselem]

Naked News Jeruselem reporter Iris Randolf in Zenic for the 4th round of qualification on the World Cup 96

Hello, this is Iris Randolf for Naked News Jeruselem covering the World Cup 96.
I'm in Zenic! You can tell I'm not at home in Jeruselem. I'm wearing clothes.

Qualification match day 3 in Group 12 was interesting with Al-Tamazgha drawing 3-3 with Baker Park, Raspotochje beating The Union of Ventura 3-1 and Jeruselem losing at home to top seed Sylestone who won 3-1. Zenic had the bye.
Qualification match day 4 is a new round and another lot of weird results. The Union of Ventura hosted Al-Tamazgha, Sylestone hosted Raspotochje and Zenic hosting the Princesses, that's why I'm here. Commonwealth of Baker Park had their bye.

Jeruselem having suffered losses to Baker Park and later Sylestone, should have dealt with an opponent like Zenic still.
Sylestone made it 3 from 3, beating Raspotochje 3-1. Clearly they don't have any issues at the moment.
The Union of Ventura still no points losing to Al-Tamazgha who won 2-0.
Baker Park sits this one out.

Looks like we're going to improve as it looks like the scars of the last two losses affected us, we lost to Zenic 1-0.
This means after 4 rounds of qualification in Group 12, we dropped back to 6th or 2nd last. Only The Union of Ventura is below us and they have no points.
It's clear, being the 3rd seed and being 2nd last ... it's not good.
Losing 3 of 4 games is not a desired result for a team like ours, but it will set back the campaign but ... we have time to make up and possibly claw back some points.

The losses to Baker Park and Sylestone are predictable but we could have done better.
Losing to teams below us like Zenic is not so we must work out what's going wrong and get back to winning.
Clearly we weren't playing to our capability today and Zenic won because they were the better team on the day.
For some reason, we played far too defensively today and it cost us the game. They scored the winning goal and we didn't score any.

I'm back home for day 5 but we aren't playing, because it's a bye.
We're back on day 6, at home against Raspotochje which will not be an easy game.
They have two wins and clearly think they do even better given they are 3rd on the table.

The table is Sylestone on 9 points with 3 from 3 wins. Commonwealth of Baker Park has 7 points, losing two because of a draw. Raspotochje is 3rd on 6 points and Zenic move to 4th with 6 points because of today's win. Al-Tamazgha are 5th with 4 points leaving Jeruselem 6th on 3 points and ... The Union of Ventura on zero in last.
The big plus is after match day 5, we've played two top seeds and had our bye so we can catch up as other teams sit out byes.
Sylestone and Commonwealth of Baker Park have done their byes so they'll be steaming ahead without byes to slow them down.

A lot of people have commented redheads are quite rare in Jeruselem.
Apart from a certain family with weird genes, redheads in Jeruselem like me are few and far in between.
Please note Princess Stella is not a real redhead, not that she has the same hair colour all the time.
Unfortunately red doesn't stay very red as you get too old, ask my Mum about that one.

That's all from me, a bad day for us here in Zenic. But We still can make up for it.

[Baggieland]

Part Three: The Redemption Mission

As Len applies to join the Space Corps, will he put his recent setbacks behind him to become an indispensable asset, or will he imitate his current losing trend?

Len was directed into a vast auditorium, where a thousand other Space Corps hopefuls were being ordered to their seats. The thrum of the masses was abruptly interrupted by Admiral Kirana's entrance onto the stage, the rhythmic clatter of her heels filling the room, compelling everyone into their seats at the double.

"You all probably have dreams of travelling at light-speed through the universe, discovering new planets and blasting alien scum," Admiral Kirana began.

"Hell yeah!" cried out an excited hopeful. The rest looked on as this solitary figure was pitilessly manhandled out of the building.

"Most of you will fail the entrance test. For those of you that pass, you will probably find yourselves working on the Space Station or even the facilities here on this planet. I doubt any of you will ever get to meet an alien," Admiral Kirana concluded.

Len reservedly turned over the entrance examination paper on his desk. Hundreds of pages. Thousands of questions. Oh well, time to get cracking.

"Miss, can I go to the toilet?" asked another hopeful, as he too was manhandled out of the building.

"What? You go to the toilet in space, don't you!" was the last anyone heard from him.

"You may address me 'Ma'am' as in 'jam', not 'Ma'am' as in 'farm'. Also, the correct auxiliary verb is 'may', not 'can'. Clear?" Admiral Kirana wrapped up the situation, leaving no one in any doubt.

A few hours later, Len handed in his paper and was then directed to wait in a gargantuan exercise yard with all the others. A huge screen displayed the latest World Cup 96 results, Baggieland with a routine 1 – 0 win over Kamijiro followed by a very impressive 4 – 0 trouncing of The Socialist Republic of Lower Tranmere. The Throstles were top of Group 13 with a perfect three from three, and the icing on the cake: not a single goal conceded. Len had once been at the heart of the Baggielandian defence, but he had never experienced that kind of accolade. Still, he was happy for his former teammates.

The World Cup 96 results faded from the screen, as it was time for a different set of results to be displayed. Out of the 1,268 hopefuls, only 145 had passed the exam, Len was number 38. He had done it. Len Livermore was now a member of the Space Corps! Twelve months of intense training now lay ahead of him, it was never going to be easy, but Len knew he had to persevere. The training months endured and Admiral Kirana, a seasoned space explorer, saw something special in Len. She witnessed his unwavering focus, his attention to detail and his ability to solve complex problems with ease. Impressed by Len's passion and creativity, she took him under her wing and with her guidance, Len learned the ins and outs of space travel, navigation and intergalactic diplomacy. Admiral Kirana watched with pride as Len blossomed into a skilled space explorer, exceeding all expectations.

[Siovanija and Teusland]

The Next Generation

Player Profiles powered by HansAir

Damir Prekmurje

Kramer, Ribbeck, Tauscher, Jager. Kynev, Romanov, Kokalj and Dimitrov. Some of the most famous names in the history of Siovanija & Teusland football - but there’s a new generation now, and RBC Sports along with HansAir are happy to introduce them to the world!

The clip has been viewed over 7 million times on social media. “Who is the player you hate to go up against the most?,” asks the interviewer to a group of Meisterschaft footballers.

“Prekmurje”

“Damir Prekmurje, definitely”

“Prekmurje from Metropola”

“I still have pain in my leg from my last time against Prekmurje”

Then, the clip transitions: 30 seconds of some of the most brutal, crunching challenges you’ll ever see. The famous one, of course, is his tackle on Bjorn Panzer of TSV Marzig that saw Prekmurje red carded, Panzer brought off on a stretcher, and a near-brawl between the eternal rivals on the pitch. Prekmurje himself commented on the post, “Never a red.”

When you meet Damir Prekmurje in person, it’s easy to feel intimidated. At 6’3, you get the impression that he would have succeeded quite well in hockey as a big, bruising defenceman, and his frame gives the impression he could’ve made a name for himself in Banijan football (ed. note: gridiron) as well. So imagine how it must feel seeing him charge towards you on the pitch, knowing the strength he can use to get the ball back.

Prekmurje grew up in Debelets, a little town about 15km southwest of the cities of Pomorie-Marzig. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone, and from a young age, Prekmurje was known for his physical gifts. He grew up working on a farm, the family plot along the River Drai just a few hundred metres’ distance from the Draija Debelets ground - the local club in the area. Prekmurje dominated at the local youth levels, and even when playing against squads from ‘the city’ quickly became known as a massive, dominating presence in midfield. He joined the Draija academy, but only spent a year there before FK Pomorie signed him up.

Once in Pomorie’s youth academy, a club with a strong youth tradition, Prekmurje was able to make use of excellent facilities to round out his natural physicality. Long sessions in the weight room made him even stronger - but Pomorie were perhaps the first to realize that he wasn’t only a midfield destroyer. “I’ve always been a bit underrated on those other parts of my game, but at Pomorie, they really encouraged me to develop both on and off the pitch.” He was given opportunities in game situations to also distribute the ball, and quickly developed a good read of the game.

Prekmurje’s name went from being well-known in his home region, to across Siovanija & Teusland after a media report focusing on current young talents labeled him ‘the next Vladimir Kostov.’ “I mean, I grew up watching Kostov play for the Goldhorns and in the league as well of course, and he was just that hard, fighting midfielder. He was strong physically, too, but he was even stronger mentally - he could get into his opponent’s heads a lot, and that wasn’t always easy for me at a young age,” says Prekmurje. “That… ‘nastiness,’ I guess, was something I had to develop over time.”

Nastiness is the word indeed - there are plenty of clips of a young Prekmurje playing for Pomorie’s academy featuring him getting sent off for brutal tackles, but more than that, understanding the ‘game within the game.’ “Little things to just annoy them and piss them off,” he calls them, and cites trash-talk or little actions behind the back of the referee as examples. The combination of the wow factor of his physical attributes, his willingness to fill the role of midfield destroyer, and the fact that he was quite skilled with the ball too made Prekmurje one of the hottest prospects in all of Siovanija, and at age 19 he officially graduated to FK Pomorie’s first team.

“Yeah, for me honestly it was just another step, with everything going on in football here at the time, I was just glad to continue moving up and to get the chance with Pomorie was obvious incredible,” Prekmurje says reflecting on his debut. Prekmurje started for FK Pomorie in the first season post-Republikaliga, making his debut in the Regionalliga Korjava. It was in just the 4th match of the season, his first-ever Pomorie-Marzig derby, that he made his famous challenge on Bjorn Panzer. “The fans loved it… I mean, looking back now, I would’ve done it a bit differently to try to not get sent off, but I mean, it really fired everyone up in the stadium.” With their fans’ support, Pomorie would end up winning the game 1-0 despite going down to 10 men just 27 minutes in. Prekmurje’s success in that debut season for Pomorie made him a hot topic nation-wide, and rumours began to circle about some of the big Siovanijan clubs like Energija Chernovets, FK Metropola Borograd and Olympia Borograd being interested in him.

“At that time, my focus was just on Pomorie, because they gave a lot to me as a footballer and a person and I wanted to pay that back. So I was happy to stay for another season and try to really push for a Regionalliga title. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be, but I know all the boys from that team are really proud of the season we had.” Following his second season at Pomorie, Prekmurje was arguably the most wanted commodity in all of Siovanijan football, and clubs like Metropola and Olympia regularly sent scouts to the Narodnistadion in Pomorie to watch his games. “It was definitely an honour, a little bit of extra pressure of course but nothing I couldn’t handle.”

When the season ended with Pomorie 7 points off their hated rivals Marzig for the regional league title, it was time for Prekmurje to make his next decision. “It wasn’t too difficult, to be honest. I needed my family and my girlfriend to be on board, but I think I’d made my mind up on Metropola quite early in the process. The club has been so excellent lately, and Alan is obviously one of the great managers, and he came to meet me and we chatted for hours, he went over my role in the squad and it sounded lovely.” #PrekmurjeInPurple trended for hours after the Borograd club announced his signing, and many fans called it one of the best signings the club had made in years.

In pre-season, and in the opening matches of the Regionalliga Borograd, Prekmurje looked to be a perfect fit next to Kazimir Mares, his partner in the midfield who plays much more of an offensive style. In the 2-1 win over Olympia Borograd in the second match of the season, Prekmurje assisted Mares’ winning goal. Next was a match away to NK Karjaska Gora. Up 2-0, disaster struck in the 36th minute.

“Prekmurje goes down with ACL injury”

“FK Metropola Borograd could miss Damir Prekmurje for an extended period”

“Dzekov confirms worst fears: Prekmurje done for the season”

“Not fun,” says Prekmurje when asked about the injury. “I don’t even really remember how it happened, to be honest, just feeling a sharp pain and then… yeah, when they told me it was ACL I wanted to cry, honestly. I was worried my whole career would be done.” Medical tests confirmed Prekmurje would have to sit on the sidelines for 6-8 months. “Just having to watch, and not be out there, that was worse than the actual pain of the injury itself.” There were lots of worries that perhaps he wouldn’t be the same player once he was back, or that he would need to adapt his game.

Luckily for Prekmurje, he and the club found a doctor in Borograd who put him on an excellent rehabilitation program. “I can’t say thank-yous enough to Dr. Zakaev. He knew exactly how and when to push, but beyond that also just how to keep me motivated. I was quite scared for a few months there too about what it would mean, but he reassured me a lot that I could 100% recover from the injury.” While initially it was reported Damir would miss the entire rest of the season, he did come back to come off the bench for Metropola in their final Meisterschaft game of the year, to a roar from the crowd. “That did a lot for my confidence, just getting back out and into the game. Even though it was just a quick, 12 minute cameo, it motivated me for the summer.”

Prekmurje spent the last offseason living in Borograd, and says “my trainer was basically living with my girlfriend and I, haha.” He wanted to do everything possible to prevent such a injury ever happening again. “Of course, you can’t guarantee anything, you could break your leg with a tackle tomorrow, knock on wood. But there are things I can do that can help, and missing one season was enough for me.” It all paid off - when he returned to action, Prekmurje looked even better than ever, and he and Kazimir Mares became the duo Metropola fans had been hoping for since the moment Prekmurje signed.

It’s an excellent story: from the major setback last year, to succeeding this year, and it’s been capped up by a call-up for the Siovanija & Teusland national squad for the World Cup qualifiers. “Damir is one of the top players we have in that role, and we’re all really excited to see him on the international stage,” said national team coach Dominik Weismann. His club manager, Alan Dzekov, echoed those comments: “I think that in a very short period, Damir is going to become the first name on the Goldhorns’ team sheet, just as he’s become untouchable here.”

Prekmurje says he’ll offer the national eleven more than just physicality and intimidation: “I obviously need to keep doing what I do best, yes. But don’t forget that I’m not just a bully, I’m good with the ball too and I can read the game quite well.” It wouldn’t be wise to underestimate Damir Prekmurje, based on his career so far - and we’re eager to see him get his first chance in the gold shirt.

Matchday 3-4 Statistics

XI vs Cardenao: Krziz; Metzger, Maksimov (Apel 70’), Steinhausl, Hayek (Kadelberg 70’); Porsche, Prekmurje; Musil, Rosberg, Krukenberg; Zak (Dezelac 66’)
Goals: Blahoslav Zak 33’, Jesper Porsche 60’

XI vs Doubeia: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl, Apel, Kadelberg (Hayek 45’); von Stein (Porsche 45’), J. Kosch-Kovarik; Vadimic, Pavlicek (Rosberg 70’), A. Kosch-Kovarik, Burger
Goal: Josef Kosch-Kovarik 62’

Siovanija & Teusland Squad for matchdays 5-6 of World Cup Qualifiers

Goalkeepers: Krziz, Bodeker, Koprvic
Defenders: Metzger, Volf, Maksimov, Steinhausl, Polak, Apel, Hayek, Reichenbach
Midfield: Porsche, J. Kosch-Kovarik, Prekmurje, Gruber, Rosberg, von Teufelsberg
Attackers: Vadimic, Koegel, Krukenberg, Berlin, Zak, Burger, Seidl

Expected XI vs Vyktoria: Krziz; Volf, Maksimov, Steinhausl, Hayek; Porsche, Prekmurje; Koegel, Rosberg, Krukenberg; Zak

Expected XI vs Amenria: Bodeker; Metzger, Polak, Apel, Reichenbach; Gruber, J. Kosch-Kovarik; Vadimic, von Teufelsberg, Berlin, Seidl

[Txakhaxi]

History of Txakhaxi
Translated with help of AI, find the original text in the spoiler below - both pictures made with AI
Find the previous chapters here.

Imperial army

The expansion of borders under Aipahoxkubeh's leadership ushered in a new regional order. Firstly, the empire controlled numerous choke points of maritime trade. For Adaxakha merchants, completely avoiding crossing paths with the imperial fleet could mean significantly longer journeys or far fewer stops on solid ground. This not only implied greater investment but also made them more vulnerable to ambushes if they ventured near islands where pirate havens operated.

The fleet that the Txakha Empire had assembled was for the first time capable of standing up to the Adaxakha. While the latter still displayed greater proficiency in both technical and strategic aspects, the sheer number of ships in the Empire's arsenal was enough to level the playing field. For centuries, naval superiority had been the only obstacle to invading the islands; this new situation made conquest a tempting possibility for Txakha rulers.

Upon Emperor Aipahoxkube's death, an internal dispute over his succession ensued. His eldest son, Aipañujekhi, ruled the province of Huxabe, the cultural and economic epicenter of the Empire, advocating for a policy of economic development and coexistence with the islanders. In contrast, Tarroixikomeh, Aipahoxkube's second son and governor of Goaxi Khoehikha, supported the conquest and domination of the Adaxakha. Pressure from high-ranking military officers ultimately swayed the decision in favor of the latter. Thus, two years after his proclamation as Grand Kaikau, the Empire launched the first of countless offensives against the island realms. During Tarroixikomeh's lifetime, the Empire annexed the island of Saufahiauni, the largest in Txakhaxi, as well as several smaller islands. Unlike conquered Txakha territories, which usually retained their internal political structure as long as they paid tribute and obeyed imperial law, the Adaxakha rulers were directly replaced by Txakha nobles.

Kraken Fortress in Adaxa Sai

Tarroixikomeh's dynastic line sustained the war of conquest against the island realms, although there were many stalemates during which the Empire's internal organization strengthened. Unlike the early years, during which Aipahoxkube had granted considerable freedoms to the Adaxakha under a syncretic policy, religious intolerance grew considerably after his death, and the Empire's rituals were enforced over the conquered territories, albeit with little success. As the war unfolded in the islands, the continental territory experienced a period of splendor during which scientific and philosophical advances occurred, and many of the customs, rituals, and common-use systems in place today were established.

By the year 33, the only free Adaxakha realms left were the Kingdom of Khomi on the island of Imouhi and the Kingdom of Maihexa in the Adaxa Txakra archipelago, at the easternmost end of the region. The distance from the peninsula and the economic power of both allowed them to contain attempts to invade the Island of Imouhi for decades. However, the strains of years of war were becoming increasingly significant for the free realms, while the Empire managed to replenish them without issues.

In the year 47, the greatly weakened Kingdom of Khomi withdrew its army from the island and settled with its courtiers in Adaxa Txakra, formally submitting to the Kingdom of Maihexa. Nevertheless, without the last line of defense in Imouhi and practically stripped of their old trade routes, King Jahi’ikhai II of Maihexa, 'the Last Adaxakha King', surrendered to the Empire under the promise of exile. He was eventually captured and assassinated at the gates of the Kraken Fortress.

La expansión de las fronteras bajo el liderazgo de Aipahoxkubeh propició un nuevo orden a nivel regional. Para empezar, el imperio controlaba numerosos choke points del comercio marítimo. Para los mercaderes Adaxakha, evitar por completo el cruce con la flota imperial podía significar viajes significativamente más largos o con muchas menos escalas en tierra firme. Esto no sólo implicaba una mayor inversión, sino que además los hacía más vulnerables a emboscadas si llegaban a acercarse a islas donde operaban pirate havens.

La flota de la que se había hecho el Imperio Txakha era por primera vez capaz de hacerle frente a los Adaxakha. Si bien estos seguían mostrando una proficiencia mayor en aspectos tanto técnicos como estratégicos, el sheer number of barcos del Imperio bastaba para ponerlos en igualdad de condiciones. Durante siglos, la superioridad naval había sido el único obstáculo para la invasión de las islas; esta nueva coyuntura hacía de la conquista una posibilidad tentadora para los gobernantes Txakhas.

A la muerte del emperador Aipahoxkube, se produjo una disputa interna por su sucesión. Su hijo mayor, Aipañujekhi, gobernaba la provincia de Huxabe, epicentro cultural y económico del Imperio, y abogaba por una política de desarrollo económico y convivencia con los isleños. En cambio, Tarroixikomeh, segundo hijo de Aipahoxkube y gobernador de Goaxi Khoehikha, apoyaba la conquista y dominación de los Adaxakha. La presión de los altos mandos militares acabó inclinando la balanza hacia el segundo. Así, dos años después de su proclamación como Gran Kaikau, el Imperio lanzó la primera de incontables ofensivas contra los reinos de las islas. En vida de Tarroixikomeh, el Imperio llegó a anexar la isla de Saufahiauni, la más grande de Txakhaxi, además de unas cuantas islas menores. A diferencia de los territorios Txakha conquistados, que usualmente mantenían su estructura política interna siempre que pagaran tributo y acataran la ley del imperio, los reinos Adaxakha eran reemplazados directamente por nobles Txakhas.

La línea dinástica de Tarroixikomeh sostuvo la guerra de conquista contra los reinos de las islas, aunque hubo muchos puntos muertos durante los cuales la organización interna del Imperio se reforzó. A diferencia de los primeros años, durante los cuales Aipahoxkube había otorgado bastantes libertades a los Adaxakhas bajo una política de sincretismo, desde su muerte creció considerablemente la intolerancia religiosa, y los rituales del Imperio fueron enforced sobre los territorios conquistados, aunque con poco éxito. Mientras la guerra se desenvolvía en las islas, el territorio continental pasó un período de esplendor durante el cual se dieron avances científicos y filosóficos, y se establecieron muchos de los usos y costumbres, rituales y sistemas de uso común en la actualidad.

Para el año 33, los únicos reinos Adaxakhas libres eran el Reino de Khomi en la isla de Imouhi y el Reino de Maihexa en el archipiélago de Adaxa Txakra, al extremo este de la región. La distancia a la península y el poderío económico de ambos les permitieron contener las tentativas de invadir la Isla de Imouhi durante décadas. No obstante, los desgastes de años de guerra eran cada vez más significativos para los reinos libres, mientras que el Imperio lograba reponerlos sin problemas.

En el año 47, el Reino de Khomi, muy debilitado, retiró a su ejército de la isla y se asentó con sus cortesanos en Adaxa Txakra, subyugándose formalmente al Reino de Maihexa. No obstante, sin la última línea de defensa en Imouhi y prácticamente despojados de sus viejas rutas comerciales, el rey Jahi’ikhai II de Maihexa, ‘el Último Rey Adaxakha’, se rindió ante el Imperio bajo la promesa del exilio. Finalmente fue capturado y asesinado a las puertas de la Fortaleza del Kraken.

[Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove]

Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove still winless

Ochre Islands - On matchday 3, Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove travelled to the Ochre Islands located in the ocean of ayes just north west of Cardenao, our neighbors. The match ended with a 2-2 score, which can be disappointing at first glance. Yes, as a fan, I wasn't happy with the result when the referree blown his whistle. Then I ate some cheese in the pressbox while thinking (by the way, sorry for the janitor who will have to wipe my cheese crumbs on the floor). You know what, The Ochre Islands are ranked 44th and the Tapirs are 61st. Plus, this is an away game. The result may look disappointing but it ain't that bad finally.

Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove took the lead at the 9th minute on a corner kick when Nathan Fauteux-McGrath kicked the ball in the penalty area and Nathan McCaskill jumped and headed the ball past Marcus Natural. This is McCaskill's 1st goal on the national team. The Ochre Island tied the game at the 32nd minute when Jimmy Twonames dribbled with the ball and faked to shoot but he passsed the ball on his right to Copse Clearedway who kicks it and it's a goal. The Islanders took the lead at the 36th minute when Eliot Sunteller made a header pass to Susana Russo who heads it past Serge Bleau-Bean.The Ochre Islands were leading 2-1 at halftime. Both teams had their chance to score in the 2nd half but neither one was able to do so until the 76th minute when Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin made a cross to Lily-Rose Malboeuf who kicks it and she scores! For statistics keepers, this is Malboeuf's first goal on the national team in 0 caps and 3 sub ins. It was Gibouleau-Beaudoin's 2nd assist and 1st cap. She also subbed in 7 times. These two women have good chemistry since the Di Bradini Cup 55 despite being rivals in the domestic league. So, the final score was 2-2.

GAME SUMMARY

9th    GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Nathan McCaskill (corner kick)
32nd   GOAL OCHRE ISLANDS  Copse Clearedway assisted by Jimmy Twonames
36th   GOAL OCHRE ISLANDS   Susana Russo assisted by Eliot Sunteller
76th   GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Lily-Rose Malboeuf assisted by Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin

It's refreshing to see both Nathan McCaskill and Lily-Rose Malboeuf scoring their first goal on the national team but the Tapirs are in 5th place with no win, which is disappointing. On another hand, our first 3 opponents were Ko-oren, Carpathia and Ruthenia and the Ochre Islands. Scarlett McCaskill mised match 3 because of an injury she suffered in the domestic league. Manager Gilles Bourguignon liked what he saw from her replacement, Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin and have announced she will stay in the starting XI for week 5 and 6. Scarlett McCaskill will be back in the starting XI, so who will be out. Bourguignon said he wants to move Alyssa McCaskill to side defender and Gibouleau-Beaudoin will take her spot. Emily Schmidt will be the man out. I mean the woman out. The Tapirs will have a bye on matchday 4. On week 5, they will receive Labalia at Zhāng Jiānglǐng Guójiā Tǐyùchǎng (General Zhang National Stadium) in Shanzhou. Against Labalia, Phoebe McCormack will be in the starting XI instead of Renato Ramirez De Jesus, Kyle Klingenberg will be in instead of Nathan Fauteux-McGrath and Clara Kurtz will replace Allie O'Hara. Then, on week 6, the Jean-Jacquois and Burnhamese will travel to Rea San Vegas and Keegan Threadgold will be in goal.

Starting XI vs Labalia: GK Bleau-Bean - SD Alyssa McCaskill - CD Tristan Gibouleau-B - CD McCormack - SD Nathan McCaskill - DCM Klingenberg - SM Charlotte Gibouleau-B - SM Scarlett McCaskill - S Berlinguette - S Goudreau-Luneau - S Kurtz

Starting XI vs Rea San Vegas (barring any injuries or suspensions): GK Threadgold - SD Alyssa McCaskill - CD Tristan Gibouleau-B - CD Ramirez De Jesus - SD Nathan McCaskill - DCM Fauteux-McGrath - SM Charlotte Gibouleau-B - SM Scarlett McCaskill - S Berlinguette - S Goudreau-Luneau - S O'Hara

The Ochre Islands, like Ko-oren, aren't a big cheese producer. They practically don't have any cattle due to their climate and being volcanic islands. What they have the most is goat cheese and this is what I tried. The goat cheese I got was crafted by a local artisan and, it wasn't bad. Honestly I expected worst because they're not a big producer. I'd rate it 5/10, slightly higher than Ko-oren.

Cheese rankings

St-Jean-Jacques	10/10
Ochre Islands	 5/10
Ko-oren	         4/10

Paul-André Veilleux

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

When you're about to face a team that spent the last window beating the group's top team and not beating the group's bottom team, it's safe to say it's hard to know what to expect.

Krytenia's trip to the Zube Olympic Stadium is taking place amidst all sorts of confusion surrounding these faded giants. Now ranked outside the world's top 50, they were held to a goalless draw by "Socialist republic of lower Tranmere" last window - full marks for equality from the anti-capitalists, there - then promptly turned around and put three past HUElavia, whose lofty top-seed status in Group 13 had just been reaffirmed in a 4-2 defeat of the Kytlerians where the two goals they allowed were a penalty and a late consolation.

A storied but fading history, significant uncertainty, the ability to spring a surprise at any point; the Krytenian and Kytlerian arcs are as easy to mix up as the denonyms themselves. That said, the Kytlerians - unlike the Krytenians - were never amongst the world's elite at soccer; when the two nations collided for the highest sporting honours, it was invariably in the Olympic velodrome. And, of course, the Olympics were the catalyst for the Anderson-led isolation era from which the country is still recovering, and this meeting comes days before the country goes to the polls again to potentially reaffirm the Giisost-led reintegration.

There is something delicious about that coincidence of timing. It's not clear if the Prime Minister will make another appearance at the ZOS this time - his last one went down a treat, but the pro-isolation FFP argued that these international sporting fixtures were attended by "an out-of-touch childfree elite whose cheers for this most dangerous Prime Minister say everything you need to know about them." He may be too busy in NERO meetings around the Græntfjall crisis, which hangs like a massive shadow over this entire election campaign even as many have marked it out as a referendum on Giisost's decision to end the isolation. (The NUP, for their part, no longer support the isolation they presided over - which has sparked a number of defections to the FFP - and have focused their campaign on economic issues, particularly taxation.)

When this international window ends, the Kytlerian position in Group 13 could well be clearer. And a few days after that, its political future might be, too. But the state of its longest land border will not. This team would be forgiven for being distracted, but this is no time for that. Andrew Patterson will need to have his charges focused and ready for each game as it comes. And it starts with a team who seem so familiar, and yet are entirely not. Apt.

[Ko-oren]

Two games with late goals - one turning into a huge scoreline. Against Rea San Vegas, we got a good old Ko-orenite masterclass: How To Make Any Game Look Difficult. The young backline was struggling, not to stay in control defensively, but to add offensively, and Laza missed his short easy passes to open teammates. Trying to cover long distances was an issue, Tsuchimoto couldn't drop back far enough to help out, and Archer was isolated up front: after last CAFA and the first two games of this campaign, Manguele looked in charge and in control. This game was a step back to the worst of the Davenport era.

And yet, it was still a win: some good substituting got us over the hurdles we ourselves placed. Normally we'd swap players in midfield and further up, but Manguele made a triple defensive sub - that is, defenders for more ball-friendly defenders - and it worked. Nieuwboom has been on the weaker side since the start of the campaign but the 21-year old Straudumite has been making strides, yet it was obvious that the first wave of subs would target him. In his stead we got Otomo, making his debut, still under contract at Tokponen Ilijoren which might not immediately ring a bell, and that's exactly what's so strange about it: another Ko-orenite selection, another Second Division player. Mallerbury was told to make place for Loper, and Gillinghurst was also taken off. That was a little suspect, the Schemerdrecht connection between him and Loper could have been big for us, and Gillinghurst wasn't even that terrible - but Haggigana is more the Manguele mold and that's what we ran with. Pushing up far further and easily covering passing lanes, the Dragonflies quickly got back in control, laid siege to the Rea San Vegas box, and forced in a messy goal around the 82 minute mark. Courtesy of, what else did you expect, Archer. Invisible for 80 minutes, invaluable for the remaining 10.

Manguele is at a minor crossroads: is this the moment to fully form the back line to his wishes, with passers like Haggigana, or are we still mid-transition with the odd compromise between on-the-ball defenders and our famous brand of off-the-ball positional butchers?

announce the signing of a Vdaran NT revelation

The first physical sighting of the Vdaran talent in Gehrenna was a little after the first call-up - then quickly a link, a network, transport, and session were set up and now we're bearing down on the Presentation of probably the most hyped signing every by Gehrenna FC: Windows XP. Installation at the club should take not too long, as the player has shown to function in nearly every environment. "My client is so excited to upgrade Gehrenna to the next level," the agent said, though the club has also pledged to work more towards making new signings feel at home. In addition to a team manager and assistant managers, the club will also employ a Task Manager to take care of all the strange processes that surround one's move to Ko-oren for the first time.

In reply to the question what drew the club to the Vdaran in the first place, Zwangzug manager Lucas Kukiseso said that the club - trying to escape perennial 10th place - looks to Control the tempo, Alternate the way the team looks at itself, and Delete the opposition. When asked specifically what skills XP will bring to the table, he said his ability to Shift into second gear late in the game was a key trait that was missing from the current roster. Brought to play on the left wing, he'll have a huge job immediately helping out to keep pOSsession, something the club also had trouble with in recent years. The collective has been on the way out for a while, maybe this is a way to turn things around: less ME, more TEAM (and XP).



The appointment of Prime Minister is nearly here - polling for now indicates that most candidates have a decent shot at the position, but that four clear frontrunners have emerged.

Incumbent Dhunerin Laurderinthen polls at a respectable 16% chance, but foreign minister Abodhiru Gelogathingun polls just a tad higher at 18%. Her work in the global community - highly respected and visible within Ko-oren - paired with a clear vision for how Ko-oren should be presented helps.

Rounding out the top four are Giljatusak Raupostinden (9%) and Rajaulisend Sushorthinden (13%). The former is the minister of health, a safe option, the latter would complete the meritocracy-democracy merger as Sushorthinden currently leads the Meritocratic faction in parliament, a body that was given broader powers in the last decade (coinciding with Laurderinthen's two terms).

Mau Veldgozen (minister of Environment) and Health honcho Giljatusak Raupostinden are both nearly out of the race, while the perceived integrity of officers like Sithanu Ganjuluthen (ombudsman) and Hetou Maddya (language) saw them pull closer to the top four in the rankings. Still, chances that either will end up in office are small, and media are starting to focus solely on the top four as a result. That said, the future PM will have to account for the power of parliament as well as the officers more - simply look at their increased visibility in matters like the language reforms, the Ochre Islands war, and various scraps between the meritocracy and democracy.