World Cup 93 - RP Thread

by **Xanneria** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:22 pm

ASSOCIATION OF INTERCOLLEGIATE SPORTS Women's Association Football Top-10 Poll

LAUGUARDIA - The annual AICS (or Association of Intercollegiate Sports) Top-10 poll for the Women's Association Football season has been released. Unlike most nations, Xannerian football does not have an academy system, most players from Xanneria come in from teams sanctioned by the athletic departments of most of Xannerians Universities. (Think the American NCAA but less corrupt)The Top-10 Poll is a poll run mostly by media experts and other various adjuncts to the sport. With out further ado here we got.

#1

TEAM: University of Denalia-Hawthorne
NICKNAME: Lady Rangers
LOCATION: Hawthorne, Denalia
CONFERENCE: Southwest Conference
ENROLLMENT: 30,500
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Kelly Babcock) (RW Wendy Groves) (DM Samantha Harnett)
QUICK NOTES: The defending champions are back! A one loss season in 2048 sees the Lady Rangers return with a tone of talent and the talent they lost has been replaced with equally amazing players as once again the Lady Rangers garnered to recruitment class rankings in 2049.

#2

TEAM: University of Angelo
NICKNAME: Bobcats
LOCATION: Angeles, Angelo
CONFERENCE: Big North Conference
ENROLLMENT: 14,250
KEY PLAYERS: (LW Devina Lowe) (OM Harmony Ghilcrest) (DM Shawna Isley)
QUICK NOTES: The Bobcats are back! After a long slide into mediocrity saw long time coach Jenette Brune terminated, new coach Holly Hockenwold has made a nice turnaround. Now after an upset loss in the Quarterfinals, the only team to beat UD-Hawthorne in the regular season, looks to take the next step and reach a final.

#3

TEAM: Upper Plymouth Institute of Technology
NICKNAME: Eagles
LOCATION: Gerladstown, Upper Plymouth
CONFERENCE: Central Conference
ENROLLMENT: 9,250
KEY PLAYERS: (LW Amy Gray) (DM Foxy Bradshaw) (CB Rya Sanahki)
QUICK NOTES: The dominant force in the Central Conference has been lagging as of late, but with a top of the conference recruiting class, it looks like UPIT could be top dog once again!

#4

TEAM: University of Galliburton
NICKNAME: Bulldogs
LOCATION: Burtella, Galliburton
CONFERENCE: Southeastern Athletic Conference
ENROLLMENT: 28,000
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Dawson Branson) (RB Brynn Satterfield) (GK Collie Andrews)
QUICK NOTES: SEAC's top Dog is always the Dawgs! Galliburton returns 8 starters and the three players that are most likely to be new starters have tons of minutes too. Looks for another SEAC Runaway with UGAL!

#5

TEAM: Provincial University of North York - Mt Gordon Campus
NICKNAME: Lady Stallions
LOCATION: Mount Gordon, North York
CONFERENCE: NONE
ENROLLMENT: 8,250
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Shawna Dawes-Glidden) (OM Linda Burkes) (GK Nadia Bruss)
QUICK NOTES: The top independent is once again PUNY-MG. The Lady Stallions return last years freshman player of the year in Shawna Dawes-Glidden but there's rumors abounding throughout the whole of North York that she may declare for Professional Free Agency after the season and look to transfer to a pro team.

#6

TEAM: Denalia Western University
NICKNAME: Hurricanes
LOCATION: Rodgersdale, Denalia
CONFERENCE: West Coast Athletic Conference
ENROLLMENT: 9,275
KEY PLAYERS: (ST GiGee Trondikowski) (OM Lia Verne) (CB Brandy Hicox)
QUICK NOTES: Though a smaller school in the realm of western Xannerian collegete women's association football. the DWU Hurricans do live up to their name. In 16 conference games the Hurricanes scored 3 or more goals 10 times. Lead by U-21 star Lia Verne and GiGee Trondikowski, the Hurricanes will once again wreak havoc on the WCAC

#7

TEAM: Pearlham College
NICKNAME: Blue Eagles
LOCATION: Ashtonburgh, Hastings
CONFERENCE: Capital Conference
ENROLLMENT: 8,300
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Paula Kipness) (OM Dalia Brookes) (DM Olivia Burris)
QUICK NOTES: Pearlham might be the best overall program in Xanneria when it comes to both Men's and Women's association football. Lead by four year starter Olivia Burris, a darling of the U-21 Team, PC Looks to maintain the same amount of high level play in both the men's and women's field.

#8

TEAM: University of East Troy
NICKNAME: Wildcats
LOCATION: Palentine, East Troy
CONFERENCE: Conference Xanneria
ENROLLMENT: 11,125
KEY PLAYERS: (DM Sandra Vaughn) (LB Ashley Benson-Rome) (GK Tadia Nolenko)
QUICK NOTES: A stout defense leads the Wildcats as a trio of top defenders in Vaughn, Benson-Rome and U-21 Keeper Tadia Nolenko look to perfect the XCannerian collegete version of Ko-oren Post Football!

#9

TEAM: University of New Essex
NICKNAME: Storm
LOCATION: Hannaford, New Essex
CONFERENCE: Northwestern Athletic Association.
ENROLLMENT: 9,163
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Brittney Grey) (DM Maddie Sanchez) (GK Lionia Jenking-Josia)
QUICK NOTES: A unheralded run the last few years has seen not only UNE rise to prominence, but also the whole NWAA as several teams in the conference have seemed to .

#10

TEAM: Berkshire University
NICKNAME: Green Wings
LOCATION: Hilfordshire, Hastings
CONFERENCE: TransXannerian Conference
ENROLLMENT: 5,227
KEY PLAYERS: (ST Nicola Stringfellow) (OM Demi Ross) (LB Maxi DuClaire)
QUICK NOTES: No team has done so much with so little as Brekshire! The tiny Hastings based private school has once again shown to the world

XANNERIA - 3
Burnes 12' 55'
D Hailey 31'
MILCHAMA - 1
Flok 37'

XANNERIA - 5
Sequin 18' 90+1'
Gessecki 64' 90+4
R Gordon 5'

SOUTHERN PALM ISLANDS - 0
NONE

by **Lozho** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:25 pm

Lozho 2-0 St Saratoga

Obamovich 9'
Droozle 32'

Lozho 1-0 Srubnaya Culture

Zoan 90+1'

Oflia 0-5 Lozho

Benson 49'
Crickport 62', 69', 73'
Droozle 88'

Three Clean Sheets, Three Victories, Three Games to Keep Playoff Dreams Alive

Sponsored by 3M

Just one month after a humiliating night in Brookstation, in which the Pelicans were hammered 6-2, the Lozhoan defence looks like a completely different team now. Even Romulus, who was slandered as a 'Tesco Penny Butterfield' for his mistakes against Brookstation, salvaged all 3 points against Srubnaya Culture when his clearance prevented an equaliser in the dying minutes. With the Lozhoans back to winning ways and lying just four points behind top seed and 3rd-placed Nyowani Kitara, many fantasies of seeing Lozho appear at the World Cup Finals have been reignited.

The Lozhoan backline has been frequently criticised, with many of these issues stemming from the Ponzo era. Many a keyboard warrior has complained about the centre-backs' lethargy, or Bonzo De Jong's inability to win a one-on-one, or Cartzon Zohzo's nonexistent defensive presence on the right flank. All of these issues were most evident in the 6-2 defeat against Brookstation, in which half of the conceded goals were gifted by mistakes from the Lozhoan defenders. Zimberg had also come under fire from the fans, with many complaining that his selection of personal favourite Romulus over Zoufal Cerezaki's proven partner Zadim Ferzhai had contributed to many of the shipped goals. However, many of these haters have been silenced after the heroic efforts propelled the Pelicans to three straight wins.

Even if it was against stragglers such as St Saratoga and Oflia, whom we had already thumped earlier in the qualification campaign, the Pelicans' impressive defensive perfomances in those games shouldn't be understated. The wingback duo of Zohzo and Fazj Srejzjajk, aka 'Lozho's Finest Pair of Wings: Sponsored by Lozho's Finest Pair of Wings Fast Food Inc.', completely dominated their respective flanks defensively and offensively, with the pair each contributing an assist in the 5-0 away demolition of Oflia. Bonzo De Jong made several fine saves to deny St Saratoga from mounting a comeback, and his goal kick to Pazron Droozle directly led to the game's second goal.

In the toughest match of the three, Romulus and Cerezaki really shone against Srubnaya Culture. Cerezaki's presence on the pitch frequently intimidated the Srubnayan forwards, with clear chances from Ammaticus Saulius going begging as a result of his pressure. Romulus made up for his slip-up in the 77th minute that almost led to an open goal with his clearance in the 2nd minute of stoppage time, in which he booted Uxtamazata Neapolis' shot off the line to prevent a 1-1 draw.

Even with a tough run of games ahead, which include top 3 teams Juvencus, Drawkland and Nyowani Kitara, the Pelicans can be confident in obtaining results from those if these performances at both ends of the pitches continue to be excellent. Stay tuned for more Pelicans news.

by **Independent Athletes from Quebec** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:45 pm

Independent Athletes from Quebec (IAQ) - World Cup 93 Team
WINDOW 8 - @ Harry Islands / vs. Naixi
26-PLAYER ENTRY

GOALKEEPERS (3): Sandra Middleton (Brinemouth, NPH), Seung-Myeon Kravitz-Hyeon (Montreal Koreana), Leopold Shim (Megabrantid, SRS)

DEFENDERS (9): Pierre-Karl Cizeron (CDSA, MYT), Coralie Higgins-Mah (CSKA Quebec), Goh Hak-Seong (Olympique de Rimouski), Hannah Kim (Damogran, SRS), Noel-Hercule McKinley (West Couno United, TMB), Pierre-Karl Miller (RGS Athletic, EFL), Benoit-Richard Ukaleq (Mipojoseon), Klara Verlaan (FC Inter Nantwich, TMB), Brian Wilson-Didh (CSKA Quebec)

MIDFIELDERS (7): Jean-Christophe Babin (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Mathinna Bouck (Montreal Koreana), Pengsoo Brown (Lanar, CMT), Joelinton Dyxkeson (Brantisvogan, SRS), Samuel McGrath (Lakewood City, TMB), Rebecca-Anne Wawanolett (Chromatik, CMT), Yim Dong-Heui (Bohemians Metropolis, VLD)

FORWARDS (7): Hannah Currie-Masson (Leaside Lions), Kate Huitema-Omeasoo (Istria City FC, BNJ), Anna Korniloff-Kouyate (1896 Ebor, MYT), Eloise Kweon (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), Johan Ludvigsson (Admiral Storevik, SVJ), Oberon M'bah-Pinho (Kingston FC), Zinaida Woodcarver (Crisisbless, NPH)

Starting XI vs. Harry Islands (2-3-3-2):
Shim (3C)
Goh - McKinley
Verlaan - Yim - Wilson-Didh
Currie-Masson - McGrath - Kweon (VC)
Huitema-Omeasoo (C) - Ludvigsson

Starting XI vs. Naixi (4-2-3-1):
Middleton (C)
Miller - Cizeron - H. Kim (VC) - Ukaleq
Dyxkeson - Wawanolett
Woodcarver (3C) - Babin - M'bah-Pinho
Korniloff-Kouyate

by **West Barack and East Obama** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:47 pm

BARACK OBAMA'S NEXT TOP MIDFIELDER

Our Third SPECIAL Episode!

Welcome to the THIRD SPECIAL episode of Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder! The talent show for these ten lucky people to display their talents in the middle of the park! We have a super exciting battle for you today: a boxing match to see who gets to remain in the competition. In the red corner, we have our esteemed judge and goalkeeping coach aficionado Chuck Obamafinakis! And in the blue corner, we have last week's contestant and professional film bro Obamadysseus Falcon!

Youngest brother in the Obamafinakis family, Chuck Obamafinakis is an accomplished lawyer with brilliant skills in destroying opponents in the court. He's also well known for his accomplishments in the field, being the goalkeeper coach for the high-flying West Barack and East Obama national football team. His experience in the sports field certainly makes him capable of becoming Barack Obama's Next Top Boxer in Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder and remaining as a judge for the Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder.

Obamadysseus Falcon is well-known in West Barack and East Obama for his film and music critic channel Deesus' Thesis. Widely recognised as one of the greatest critics of Obaman pop culture, Falcon is well-known and well-regarded for his trash talking and aggression, including an incident in which he destroyed his entire TV set because it took too long to turn on. With his mental state perfect for the role of a aggressive and vicious Barack Obama's Next Top Boxer in Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder champion!

Master of Ceremonies: Please welcome our first contestant of Barack Obama's Next Top Boxer in Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder... in the blue corner we have Obamadysseus Falcon!

[audience applauds loudly as Obamadysseus walks in, with his YouTube channel's intro theme playing]

Sergei: Welcome to the match Obamadysseus! How are you feeling?

Obamadysseus: I'm pumped. I'm ready to show everyone who is boss.

Zoey: Yeah! Alright! Sounds great! I'm totall-

Obamadysseus: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, where's the other guy? Is he hiding from me already?

Master of Ceremonies: Please welcome our second contestant of Barack Obama's Next Top Boxer in Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder... in the red corner we have Chuck Obamafinakis!

[audience applauds a little less loudly as Chuck walks in, with his lawyer commercial jingle playing]

Wolfgang: Hey there Chuck! Welcome back to the show. How does it feel to be the contestant instead of the judge for once.

Chuck: It's pretty great. Of course, it's going to be even better when I WIN!

Obamadysseus: Pah. The only way you're going to win is if your judge buddies decide to be corrupt and prevent the rightful winner, me, from advancing.

Zoey: Well-

Obamadysseus: Can we start the match already? The Puss in Boots 3 premiere starts in twenty and I want to get there on time for my review.

Master of Ceremonies: BEGIN!

[the bell dings and Chuck runs up to Obamadysseus and starts throwing punches. Obamadysseus immediately headbutts Chuck, knocking him down to the ground]

Master of Ceremonies and Audience: 3... 2... 1... KNOCKOUT!

Master of Ceremonies: Wow! That was a remarkably short match. Well, that's an obvious victory for Obamadysseus. He advances to the finals finals, whilst Chuck is eliminated as a judge. Thanks for watching everyone, and stay tuned next Sunday for even more exciting action here at Barack Obama's Next Top Midfielder!

Chuck: Ow!!! You headbutted me you prick! You broke my BLOODY nose! That's illegal you tit!

Obamadysseus: C'mon mate. Don't be a sore loser. Accept that you lost.

Chuck: No, you cheated. Cheaters don't prosper. You gotta be eliminated.

Zoey: Well personally I think Obamadysseus was in the rig-

Obamadysseus: SILENCE, foid. And shut up everyone else. If you can't handle seeing a real winner on your competition and prefer a whiny judge, I'll take my leave. But then this competition loses all its credibility.

Sergei: He has a a point you know. I mean, loom at that strength. That mindset. Cheater or not, he's going to be a GREAT midfielder. Also, look at our ratings. They're through the roof in the episodes he appeared in. I say we keep him in.

Zoey: Agreed.

Wolfgang: Yup. That's 3 for 3.

Chuck: You bastards! I won't forget this betrayal. Wolfgang, you don't have a future in this team! I'm coming for all of you! ARGHH!!!

[Chuck continues ranting as he gets dragged off the bxoing arenas by security]

by **Turori** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:48 pm

Turori Sport Report

World Cup 93 Qualifying Matchday 15 :: There is little to say about the Turori National Team's performacne against Atheara on Matchday 15 of World Cup 93 Qualifiers as the Eels struggled offensively, unable to crack Group 13's defensive stalwarts and seeing a second half goal from Kirov Solmatzka make the difference in yet another unexpected loss of points for the #3 seed in the multiverse. While it was a moment in the limelight for Solmatzka, scoring perhaps the biggest goal of their career inn front of their home team fans at Astena Stadium - the very arena they play their domestic footsport for the local club Astena Rangers.

Despite the shock victory over the Eels, it was still just a four-team battle atop Group 13 with Atheara 8 points back in the fifth position and being give odds of less than 2% of overcoming the deficit and breaking into the top 3 before the end of the cycle.

 Turori 0 - 1 Atheara	
	Turori Goals:	               
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 51%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 3 :: Atheara :: Possession: 49%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 4
	Turori Lineup :: 	Derizi Amatopa (Timaala Hualtia 72'), Karek Edgeli (Nua'oma Aikiki 45'), Moumouni Verre'elali, Planio’o Nrujsa, Biliki Rona'atu'i, Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, Kinabo Telioa (Lati'ala Giaoka 69'), Naraiza Ruaplal (Lumlao Noauryua 69'), Turakia Diijelhma, Lutara Makakio (H’munao Cagomia 45')

World Cup 93 Qualifying Matchday 16 :: After suffering yet another set back with a third defeat of the campaign and second on the road, the Turori National Team returned home to the Cednia Beach Center for a matchup against Atlantian Oceania Regional Rivals the Commonwealth of Baker Park. Having lost at least one-hundred percent of the momentum they had built during their perfect 9-0 start to the qualifiers, the game against the Bees was critical as it would define whether the Turori National Team was still playing to contend for an automatic qualification spot to the World Cup Finals or if they would have to shift gears and focus their fight just on trying to avoid missing out on the World Cup Qualification Playoffs entirely. With Baker Park occupying that critical third spot in the group, defeat for the Eels could see them drop out of reach of leaders Tikariot whom they still had to play on the final matchday, and more critically, out of the playoff zone.

Head coach Tarek Edgeli was not playing any games and would put the gloves back in the hands of Eura-based goalkeeper Derizi Amatopa, despite pulling the highly acclaimed netminder after conceding against Atheara. Amatopa would deliver for the Eels, keeping the Bees off the scoresheet and putting the Turori National Team in position for an important victory - so long as at some point they could score a goal. As time went on and the goal did not come, Edgeli once again dove into the bag of tricks to make effective line changes on the field.

The first wave to come on was just after the hour mark when Lumlao Noauryua and Turakia Diijelhma were introduced in place of Cuoabaza Orani'aoa and Bilki Rona'atu'i. The duo showed some life on the field but the Eels still could not score and further changes were made bringing some more possession back into the game through Tulaki Rauogba and H'munao Cagomia. This was the change that finally broke the deadlock in favor of the Eels as it was Rauogba's first touch that sent Noauryua free down the left hand side, delivering a cross that Diijelhma worked hardest to get to first and redirect past Zach Johnston in the Baker Park goal.

As much of the game had gone before, there was little pressure from either side for the final ten minutes of the game and the Eels would hold on to take an important 3 points to re-affirm their push for a spot in the World Cup 93 Finals.

 Turori 1 - 0 Commonwealth of Baker Park	
	Turori Goals:	:: 81' Turakia Diijelhma              
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 56%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 3 :: Commonwealth of Baker Park :: Possession: 44%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 2
	Turori Lineup :: 	Derizi Amatopa, Karek Edgeli, Moumouni Verre'elali, Amakli Inuro'o, Biliki Rona'atu'i (Turakia Diijelhma 66'), Cuoabaza Orani’aoa (Lumlao Noauryua 61'), Kiidallen Aeroluzzi (Tulaki Rauogba 80'), Naraiza Ruaplal, Kinabo Telioa, Nua'oma Aikiki (H’munao Cagomia 80'), Lutara Makakio

World Cup 93 Qualifying Group 13 :: With 16 of 22 matches in the books, a number of teams in Group 13 had already officially been eliminated from contention from World Cup Qualification while a handful of others could hold on to the technicality of hope while ignoring the reality of their situation for at least one more match window. Strayan Rus, Raspotochje, Inkewellistan and Oscioru had all been officially eliminated from any hope of making the Top 3. That didn't mean there was nothing to play for still, however, particularly on the part of Raspotochje who were on a string of 16 consecutive games without a draw and had just to survive six more decision-filled matches to complete a maximum-point cycle where at least one team earned a maximum 3 points in each of their World Cup Qualification matches.

While those 4 nations were already eliminated, there were two other pockets of 4 teams in Group 13. In the middle of the table were the teams that had not officially been eliminated but whose chances of advancing to Chromatika and Tumbra would rest on an absolutely perfect string of chaos over the final six matchdays. While Atheara, República Guanacasteca, Montaña Verde and the Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison had yet to be eliminated, it was only going to be a matter of time as they shift their focus to trying to collect signature victories such as Atheara's Matchday 15 triumph over 3rd ranked Turori.

As for the Eels, they were part of the Fearsome Foursome at the Top of the Group 13 table who were vying to fit within the 3 available spots that would advance from the Group still having a shot at the World Cup Finals. After over performing in their Group during World Cup 92 Qualifying, Tikariot were at it again with just a single defeat leading Group 13 with a 2 point advantage over the unimpressive Eels who coudln't even boast the best defensive record in the group. None of the top 4 were safe however with Tikariot just 5 points ehad of 4th place Commonwealth of Baker Park who represented a one way ticket to the Cup of Harmony for the one unlucky Top 4 nation following Matchday 22.

by **Graintfjall** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:50 pm

Græntfjall – 1 (0)
Björnólfur; Hermione, Asbjørn, Anarr, Jan; Valtter (30’) (65’) (70’ Tom ); Erin (70’ Rebekka ), Kæja (77’ Vanessa ), Danny (77’ Lotte ); Röskvi (52’ Þrastar ), Sara K (c)

Natanians and Nosts – 0 (0)

Kirungabi – 0 (0)

Græntfjall – 2 (1)
Björnólfur; Hermione, Reidar, Asbjørn, Harmony; Valtter (51’), Kæja (45’ Danny ), Arnar (45’ Erin ); Vanessa (45’ Lotte ), Röskvi (43’, 64’) (77’ Joel ), Sara K (c) (55’ Þrastar )

Selection of articles from Græntfjaller news media.

Græntfjall are (nearly) on top of the world: why all the gloom?

OK, these ones might have a point.

MD17–18 squad: 1. Björnólfur, 12. Ásólfur, 23. Hanif; 2. Hermione, 3. Jan, 4. Eyvar, 5. Asbjørn, 17. Tom, 19. Anarr, 20. Leona, 22. Hrútur, 24. Alyssia, 26. Harmony; 8. Danny, 10. Kæja, 11. Lotte, 18. Valtter, 13. Erin, 15. Steinar, 21. Arnar; 6. Rebekka, 7. Sara K (c), 9. Röskvi, 14. Vanessa, 16. Þrastar, 25. Joel

Græntfjall praised for uniting Rushmore

Crown Princess criticizes gun bill as “fascism, and not the good kind”

Also in the news:

Kraken Observatory goes to high alert over mysterious skeletal remains found in Tikariot
Public transport tax exemptions set to expire as time runs out on tax credits renewal debate
Military space funding now outstrips GANAX civilian research funding as new wars may be fought among the stars
Schoolchildren organize postcard campaign to lobby support for gun bill
Mathiasson returns to fitness in boost for Snow Wolves

by **Sendhang** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:55 pm

93RD WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
Matchday 15

Teuku Salahudin who came on as a sub for the last 20 minutes in the 7-1 defeat to Pemecutan walked into the dressing room after the final whistle feeling jaded. Salahudin had only played a small part in the game but he could feel the weight of the loss on his shoulders. The dressing room was silent after the match with players having their heads in their hands. He could tell that everyone was dissatisfied because of the drab environment.

Salahudin tried to keep his mind clear of negative thoughts but the 7-1 defeat was just too embarrassing and he couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment and frustration. They were outclassed and were in disbelief as soon as Pemecutan scored their first goal early in the game. Game plans were thrown out of the window and in the end, Pemecutan showed why they are the best national team in Mandalanusa.

Teuku Irfan, the head coach entered the dressing room with a serious face. He walked towards the center of the room and addressed the team. "Tough game," said the coach. "But it's not the end of the campaign. 7 more matches to go," he continued.

The team was silent for a while but then the team captain, Albertus Wageo who had just conceded 7 goals as the goalkeeper stood up and spoke, "The boss is right. We need to come back stronger, for Sendhang"

His teammates then nodded in agreement.

by **New Gelderland** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:57 pm

Legislative Assembly of New Gelderland
Hansard
Oral Answers to Questions, Volume 757

On the subject of the Convention Of Rushmori Nations on Climate, Oceans, and Biodiversity, the Minister of Foreign Affairs was asked the following questions... (excerpted)

Ewan Koerner (Gallant Fields)

The Græntfjaller representative to the CORNCOB talks recently proposed a cap-and-trade system for regulating carbon emissions within the CORNCOB markets. What is the Government's position on this proposal?

Madeline Carthen, Minister of Foreign Affairs (Nassau Bay)

At this time, the Government is not opposed to a cap and trade system in and of itself on practical grounds. However, given that a cap and trade system's efficacy fundamentally relies on the amount of emissions reductions being sought by the system, the precise nature of the cap is incredibly important to us, and is something we will be working on negotiating. We don't want the cap to be too high, and disproportionately hurt Gelderlish business, or to be too low, thus not properly incentivizing carbon reductions. It's a Goldilocks problem, and our technical experts will be hard at work searching for a Goldilocks solution. Additionally, we're also closely studying how the proposed system would interact with our duties and rights under the Common Rushmori Community, and the proposed process of implementation for cap and trade.

But I thank the Honourable Representative for the opportunity to address the Honourable Minister Pale's suggestion from Cap Nord that cap and trade means that that nation will be traded around by foreign powers; cap and trade refers to the cap on carbon emissions across all nations, with credits to be traded around by all nations. This is not an objectionable concept in and of itself, just one that needs more study.

Ezra DeWitt (South Fairleigh)

Is climate policy a priority for the Gelderlish government moving forward, and is this something that we need more coordination with the supranational body in terms of the Afanc Strait?

Minister Carthen

I cannot speak to the full panoply of the government's actions surrounding domestic policy, as my purview surrounds foreign relations. But I can say that from a foreign relations point of view, we are absolutely pushing for a sensible climate policy that does not defer too much to business, and does not defer too much to polluters, because it's obvious that we need to improve both mitigation and adaptation measures in terms of climate action.

In terms of coordination with Ceni and the Afanc Strait, there are certainly areas where we disagree. Our counterparts in Ceni are advocating for a carbon tax system at CORNCOB because they believe more in the power of the state than the power of the market; New Gelderland believes more firmly in market-based solutions. At the same time, it's important that we act in concert with the Afanc Strait Confederacy in other matters, such as geopolitics, and when geopolitics and climate intersect, that's where we need to pay more attention to our coordination efforts.

Rosette Racine (Vaduz)

The nation of Kirungabi has been pushing for pro-nuclear language in an eventual CORNCOB treaty, and they have signed a construction agreement with QSEX to develop nuclear infrastructure in Kirungabi's southwest. My question is two-fold: Does the government support nuclear power as a solution for climate change, and does the government believe that the QSEX deal threatens Gelderlish business interests in Rushmore?

Minister Carthen

New Gelderland supports nuclear power as the cleanest option for climate change, not only in terms of inputs but even in terms of outputs. Frankly, the government believes that the negatives of nuclear power have been overblown, given that nuclear energy is the cleanest source of renewable power out there. But I am not a nuclear engineer by trade, and I will defer the more complex engineering questions to our experts in that field. Fortunately, I do hear that there are advances on the horizon in terms of cleaner fission generation, and perhaps even fusion.

As for the second part of the Honourable Representative's question, New Gelderland does not have the domestic nuclear, renewable, or construction industries that might be threatened. The Minister might direct the Honourable Representative to her colleagues in Ceni, who might feel differently given their renewable and construction sectors, but for the moment, the Government here in this country sees no reason to oppose the deal between Kirungabi and QSEX on any grounds.

Jace Nylund (Nassau Bay)

The CORNCOB conference has seemingly been overshadowed by attacks by Rushmori geese on the Darmeni representatives. Does the Government intend to take any policy actions in response to these attacks?

Minister Carthen

... No?

I don't really understand what's going on there, and frankly, the New Gelderlish government does not see those incidents as worthy of a thought out policy response, and it will be happy to defer to other nations, especially Darmen, that feel the urge to prepare more coherent policy actions in response.

by **PotatoFarmers** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 11:02 pm

Minutes from a secret meeting between selected members of the Cabinet
Attendees
President, Mr. Pikashru Nisharian
Deputy President & Minister of Finance, Ms. Joddie Warisian
Minister of Foreign Affairs, Dr. Justin Hallaway
Minister of Defence, Mr. John Hakinson
Minister of Industrial Relations, Mr. Taylor Cothen
Minister of Agriculture, Ms. Germaine Gilbert

Invited Guests
Head Poafmersian Ambassador to The Gothanita Isles, Mr Tyler Kabri

Contents
1. President announced that he requested for this meeting with regards to the ongoing situation in North Handoria. He stressed that the contents of the meeting are based on secret talks with other members of the Gothanita Isles, as well as intelligence sources, and that the contents should not be leaked
2. Minister of Foreign Affairs started the discussion by mentioning that the Ministry has been talking to counterparts in the Gothanitan Isles member states. In particular, he mentions that the unity statement made by the Council of Four was a "misrepresentation" of the Council's opinion on the matter. In particular, South Jeoleria Prime Minister Bongo Watson strongly believes that the Wokean movement should be recognised and that the demands of the movement for more civil rights should be established. The Sultan of Otksarin, Sultan Asmah II, has indicated that Otksarin is willing to be the mediator once again for this enitr situation, similiar to the Handorina split close to a century ago, where Otksarin was the neutral party that supported the two split countries, North Handoria and South Jeolerina, to be recognised as new members and that neither will claim the history of the original Handorina state. Representative Neil Palmer said he and his Representative Council are very neutral on the issue as well, and that they wish to respect the Gothanitan Charter and not intervene in the politics of other states so long as they don't escalate to cross-border violence. Minister also invited the Head Poafmersian Ambassador to TGI, Mr Tyler Kabri, who flown into Fiskadaha for the meeting, to give his opinions and observations.
4. Deputy President asked Mr Tyler to talk more about the consensus among the other 3 member states.
5. Mr Tyler described the current situation in TGI as "politically chaotic", because nobody wants to take clear responsibility for anything that happens otherwards. He clarified that Rep. Palmer's government is actually more pro-Handras than anything, stating that the laws made by the People's Council of North Handoria should be what the people follows, as citizens of North Handoria. Mr Tyler says this is a consensus reached by the Hallikshire Representative Council, because the people feel that if Handorians are not prepared to support the laws, then they might as well leave and be a TGI citizen under another nation. Meanwhile, Jeoleris are extremely supportive of the Wokean movement, and empathise with Joanne Petersburg for starting the Movement. As such, South Jeolerina will likely take a stand to support the Movement and provide support to them if necessary.
6. President asks if there was a possibility that President Jokowi Handras might escalate the issue to become a civil war, and what does the Ministry of Foreign Affairs suggest if that happens.
7. Minister of Foreign Affairs adds that there is no obvious clue as to what the President would do, but adds that from their understanding, as well as Ministry of Defence's intelligence, an escalation should not be ruled out. He points out that things might change after Joanne Petersburg and the movement leaders' trial is completed. Minister of Defence also agrees and that they have intelligence of increased training in their Police Forces, though it is unclear what percentage of the leadership supports an escalation.
8. Mr Tyler has also said that his fellow ambassadors and collegues at the Ministry have been in talks with Otksarin with the possibility of Poafmersia and Otksarin being co-mediators for a possible peace solution. While the Sultan's original intentions was to do it on their own, his advisors felt that it might backfire politically because of how South Jeolerina and Hallikshire are on different ends. The Sultan also strongly believes that an external mediator would be useful to mitigate some of those risks and add a different angle to the peace process. Minister of Foreign Affairs adds that he would like to seek the President and Cabinet approval for this measure.
9. President says that they would discuss about the issue of being a mediator with the wider Cabinet at a separate meeting. He asks if any other Ministers have anything to add.
10. Minister of Industrial Relations and Minister of Agriculture both add that their ministries have been trying to talk to trade partners in The Gothanita Isles, and thus far the impact of the conflict in North Handoria has impacted less than 5% of all trade with the country. He adds that North Handorian exports typically don't reach Poafmersia anyways, and that there is no need to worry about the economic impact of the conflict to Poafmersia.
11. President thanks everyone present for their time and ends the meeting.

by **Eura** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 11:13 pm

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 13
Eura 2–0 The Cordian Isles
Scorers:
Singh 26, Woodman 62
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason
4. J Menard (sub Phillips 76)
5. K Sherwood
3. L Almwood
6. J Gates (sub Cole 70)
8. O Vincent (sub Stewart 65)
11. B Malone
10. S Singh (sub Brown 65)
7. A Woodman (sub Douglas 65)
14. A Sharp

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 14
Tjorl 1–2 Eura
Scorers:
Robson 3, Gates 77
Lineup:
13. J Hewitt
2. A Mason (sub Read 43)
4. J Menard
5. K Sherwood (sub Pearce 84)
3. L Almwood
6. J Gates
8. O Vincent (sub Stewart 82)
12. O James
10. S Singh (sub Clarke 63)
7. A Woodman
9. S Robson (sub Duff 90+1)

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 15
Eura 2–0 Sylestone
Scorers:
Almwood 29, Singh 88
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
21. P Read
4. J Menard
19. M Hart
3. L Almwood (sub Reeve 58)
20. M Cole
8. O Vincent (sub Stewart 89)
22. D Barnes
26. T Miller (sub Singh 58)
7. A Woodman (sub James 58)
14. A Sharp (sub Brookfield 78)

WORLD CUP 93 – QUALIFYING GROUP 8 MATCHDAY 16
Quakmybush 1–1 Eura
Scorers:
Malone 31
Lineup:
1. T Hammond
2. A Mason
15. Q Phillips
19. M Hart (sub Pearce 85)
23. E Reeve
6. J Gates
16. L Holland (sub Vincent 72)
24. G Stewart (sub Singh 65)
11. B Malone
29. E Douglas (sub Barnes 82)
17. R Brookfield (sub Robson 72)

BARNHAM CALLS FOR PULT TO GO AS UNREST MOUNTS

PULT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT! BARMY CHANCELLOR TELLS BASTION TO SHOVE IT

HUNDREDS MORE OPPOSITION PROTESTORS DETAINED

The headlines reflected a whirlwind period. Eura had publicly called for fresh elections in its western neighbour, and the resignation of the autocratic Chancellor Pult, rapidly enacted personal sanctions on Pult and his cronies, all unprecedented steps – but ultimately, they would prove unsuccessful.
In Austroslovakia, the people were rising up but facing a common front from the regime, and therefore their struggle was heading the way of civil war. Euran intelligence now knew Pult was on the verge of deploying his armed forces and declaring martial law. That simply couldn’t be allowed to happen on Eura’s borders.
Prime Minister Barnham had few viable alternatives to what he did not want to do. These were to hope for the best or send in the troops. Both were last resort options, even compared to deploying the human turd sat across from his desk.
“Fine” he told the Ticker, “Do it, but keep it clean.”
The Ticker obliged. Shortly afterwards, somewhere in the mountainous borderlands, one of his cells got to work.

----- ----- ----- -----

Austroslovakia’s embattled Interior Minister was having a very bad day. Hans Lipka was enemy number two to most of the country and his Bundespolizei, better known as the ABP, were stretched incredibly thin.
‘This is not good enough, not at all! What is this, amateur hour?!” he screamed at one of his chief officers, who had just come back from a brutal melee on the streets of Graz. “There’s just too many of them and they’re all co-ordinated” the officer protested meekly.
“So? You have been dealing with organised groups like this for years. It’s the same problem on a bigger scale, that’s all. You can break them up. Sow discord. Find a way!”
“Yes sir.”
As his officer retreated, Lipka took a swig from his hip flask, taking refuge in the sweet embrace of good Falourr whiskey. If this gets any worse I might need to run there, he allowed himself to think, before quickly suppressing such defeatist thoughts.

“Enough of this for today, I’m going to the lodge.” Like other key members of the regime Lipka had been rewarded by Pult for his loyalty with a swanky mansion out in the snow-swept countryside. He preferred to work there in times of crisis – it was quieter than a chaotic Graz. Before he could make his exit, there was a rap on the door.
“Who is it?”
“Hemlich, sir!”
“Come.” In the view of Lipka, the venerable Commander Hemlich was one of the few senior officers in the ABP that were worth a damn. He was glad to see him. “Have you thought anymore about bringing your wife out to my residence for dinner? Helga would be more than-“
He was cut off as Hemlich abruptly slammed the giant wooden doors, before rather strangely lowering himself to the ground and peering under them.
“Er…is everything quite alright, Hemlich?”

“No.” he responded, bluntly.
“You are being peculiar.”
“I was just checking none of your staff were behind me. Sir – Hans – I’ve come across some information you need to know about.” He slapped an old fashioned looking rubber stamped document on Lipka’s desk and stood almost to attention.
“What is this?”
“I’m sorry to say this sir, but…it’s Pult. We understand he has decided to deploy the army.”
“Well, that’s a pain, it takes away from our role. But its understandable. We need to stabilise the country and send a message to these parasites on the streets if they won’t go quietly.”
“No, you don’t understand sir, the army are being deployed against us.”
Lipka froze. It took him a few moments to realise that his flask had spilled all over his lap.

“Why on earth would they do that?”
“This document is an intercepted communique from his office. It instructs Field Marshall Haeger to seize all Interior Ministry buildings, the ABP headquarters, and arrest all leadership figures, you included. I presume this is to stem the protests, pinning the blame on us. I thought it might be some kind of trick or fake, but then I checked in with our assets in the field and it seems the army has already taken the logistical steps needed to deploy. It’s happening.”
“But that’s…why…no. I don’t believe it.”
“You trust me, don’t you sir?”
“Yes, but this doesn’t make any sense. Why would he come for us? He hasn’t mentioned anything to me!”
“Why would he?”

Lipka was sweating. Cold weather be damned. He grilled Hemlich further on the details. The Commander shared all sorts of photographs, field reports and other data. It was true. The army was getting ready to deploy.
“I can’t believe it. What an astounding betrayal!”
“That it is, sir. I am very sorry. I know you and the Chancellor were close.”
“Fourteen years under this snake, fourteen years!” Lipka was boiling with rage now. “Something must be done. Any ideas?”
“Well, sir, I have considered a few avenues. But perhaps we should keep it simple. We strike first.”
“As in…pre-emptively.”
“Yes. Arrest the chiefs of staff. Seize the Chancellery. Detain Pult for the good of the people – clearly, a leader who would clamp down on us is not worthy of their love. Maybe a new direction is needed.”
“I hope you are not suggesting-“
“No, no, not elections. You. If you go to safety at your lodge, I can handle the dirty work here in the capital, and then in a few days’ time, you can arrive to save the day.”
Lipka looked up at the portrait of Pult on the wall, decked out in regalia, looking statesmanlike. He pictured himself in the frame. “Yes” he said with a smile, “I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.”

Soon after this conversation, Lipka left Graz with his motorcade.
Hemlich took action immediately. Police were pulled off the streets and boulevards from their clashes with protestors, kitted out with everything they could possibly need, and send to the key military institutions around the city. Barracks were seized without a shot fired as confused soldiers were told to stay at their bunks and await further commands from the ABP. Hemlich wasn’t sure why there was not more resistance, but he could worry about that later. The Chancellery itself would come last.
The Soldiers House was an impressive building, situated almost right in the middle of the capital. It housed the administrative centre of the armed forces and it just so happened that all of the chiefs of staff were in town today.
The police marched in, initially rebuffed by the guards on the gate, only for them to stand down once a warrant was shown. But by the time Hemlich reached the door of Field Marshall Haeger, he was starting to grow suspicious. Something was off.
His phone buzzed.

“This is Commander Hemlich. Who is calling?”
On a remote road, Lipka was being driven along at speed, and was on the other end of the phone from the comfort of his limousine. “Update me on your progress Commander.”
“Sir – we are in the Soldiers House as we speak. Haeger is…” The Field Marshall stormed out of his office.
“What is the meaning of this! Hemlich! You little shit-“
“-as you can hear sir, he’s very displeased.” Hemlich took the phone away from his ear for a moment and focused on Field Marshall Haeger. “Field Marshall, you know perfectly well why I am here. Your abetting of the Chancellor’s purge will not be tolerated. You are under arrest – here is the warrant. Guards, take him!”
“Purge? What purge?”
Hemlich laughed. “Playing dumb, well, that’s a strategy.” He went back to the phone.

“Sir, are you still there?”
“I am…hold on. Why are we stopping?”
The motorcade ground to a halt. The road was blocked by an overturned heavy goods vehicle.
“Some kind of accident. Hold on Commander-“
It was not, as it turned out, an accident. Two SUVs swept around the crashed vehicle and immediately unloaded a group of a dozen men clad in black.
They were armed.
Lipka’s security detail in the front car surrendered without hesitation. The rear vehicle started to back away, reversing at full throttle.
“-oh my god. Oh…no, no!”
The rattle of gunfire screeched through the phone receiver as the gunmen lit up the Interior Minister’s vehicle, cutting him and his driver to ribbons.
Hemlich stood stunned in front of Haeger. A burning fury grew within him as he heard his mentor, and guarantor of security in this system of cronyism, was shot dead. If he wasn’t sure before, he sure as hell was now.
“Field Marshall, turn around please.”
Hemlich grabbed his pistol.

by **Chromatika** » Fri Feb 24, 2023 11:14 pm

All posts beneath this one shall be graded for the next cutoff.

by **Gnejs** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 12:30 am

Making a difference

The Union government preferred sitting at their Rock in the north, content in their own environmental and climate policies, and arrogantly assured that whatever dealings those continentals down south engaged in had no bearing on them. But not all Union citizens shared their predilection for isolation or unwavering belief in Union exceptionalism. Doom was impending, and it was coming for us all, Rock or otherwise. This was the firm conviction of young Gretchen Tunfisk, and this is her story.

…

Gretchen’s Log – Entry 246

I have made a decision. I can’t stand by and just do nothing anymore. I actually felt a glimmer of hope when I read about the CORNCOB. Finally, somebody in charge is doing something. I spent days, weeks even, eagerly awaiting the announcement that the Union government would travel down south in numbers to strong-arm the rest of Rushmore to take real action on climate change and our rapidly dying world. Not a word. Then, when they finally spoke, it was all platitudes about not prioritizing continental engagements with non-aligned acquaintances and the usual phrases about how “sustainable” we are already. Ragnarök knows no borders and neither should our efforts to stop it. I have made a decision. I am travelling down to Græntfjall and Altendalur. I can’t do nothing anymore.

…

Gretchen and her Uncle Bono arrived at the sprawling protest camp outside the Florus Convention Center just as the opening ceremony – with its convoluted speeches and self-congratulatory toasts – was commencing inside. There was a sea of tents and banners fluttering in the wind. The grey concrete surroundings had been painted in all the colors of the rainbow, and the energy was incredible. It was almost like the camp itself was alive, with a constant vibration of excitement. Makeshift stalls with food and drinks, small stages with slam poetry contests, people everywhere huddled in small groups heatedly discussing strategies and making transnational alliances. There was a sense of urgency in the air. It was as if Mother Earth herself had brought them here, instilling all with the chilling understanding that our time is rapidly running out. Action was needed, on this all agreed.

This was Gretchen’s initial impression.

…

Gretchen’s Log – Entry 248

I’ve been here a couple of days now. The problem with the world is that the people in charge can never lift their heads, forego their selfishness, and actually see the bigger picture. They all live in their own silos, and only act in accordance with their own short-term interests. They are suspicious of others, and always guard themselves and their own agenda. Of this, I am certain. It saddens me, however, to realize that this sort of division and strife plagues not only the elites inside the convention center, but is also very much present amongst the people outside as well. There are factions, and the partition seemingly grows larger with every hour. What a sad irony it is, that we cannot do better, at a time when our very existence is contingent upon cooperation and overcoming differences. These camps, what they bicker over is inconsequential, when you take into account that our common foe is extinction as such.

…

The days went by, both in the camp(s) and within the convention center, where leaders and top bureaucrats were starting to chisel out drafts on concrete declarations. Well-orchestrated press releases about “green” foreign investments in developing countries intermingled with rumors about plans from the host nation of presenting large-scale regional initiatives amounting to substantial effects on emissions reductions. A flock of geese attacking high-ranking government officials, and then settling in at the ever more fractured amalgamation of protest camps, also brought color to the situation. As the cold night falls, the camps are lit by lantern and torch, and a myriad of speakers rally their own crowds, urging them to keep fighting for a better future, but all in their slightly different ways.

Uncle Bono hooks up with a local lady with long dreads, and Gretchen grows ever more frustrated.

…

Gretchen’s Log – Entry 251

The grand regional initiative is apparently a “cap-and-trade” system. Markets? That’s your answer? You’re going to let people buy their way out of actually doing something? Ok, boomer. Fuck this.

…

At the very center of the many camps, there was a large stage. Perhaps it had been built in the early days of the protests, when the cohesion was stronger and division but a distant threat. After the initial schism, speakers from the different factions had taken turns to address their own crowds from the big stage, but this had quickly descended into brawls and scuffles. Now they all occupied clearly demarcated parts of the “camp area”, with the large center stage a sort of neutral green zone. However, there was still a sound system hooked up, and it was upon that large stage that Gretchen turned on the microphone and started speaking, her passionate voice - with that very characteristic gnejsian accent - ringing out through the amplifiers, reaching all corners of the campsite:

You should all be ashamed. How dare you fight amongst yourself?

Our parents and grandparents have stomped on the conditions of our survival for years and years. They have stolen, and continue to steal, our very future. For all my life, the only thing I have heard from so called “world leaders” are empty words, lofty promises and outright lies.

Our ecosystems are collapsing, the ocean is dying. This is extinction and we need to make them understand. Understand that this can’t be remedied by tweaking old solutions and uphold the illusion that our lifestyle need not change. Markets, money, green economic growth. Bullshit! Technological solutions will not save us, and the myth of progress will not help you when the world burns. We need change. Uncomfortable, grueling, difficult, REAL change. We must return to the trees.

How dare you fight amongst yourself?

People, Peace, Plump? They’re laughing at you in there. The fat-cats with their private jets and “sustainable” business ventures and “progressive” policy initiatives. They’re laughing. And we must make them choke on that laughter.

The only PC that they’ll understand, is the Political Change that we must force them to enact. Together.

At first, there was silence. Then the crowds started clapping in agreement, and then they started cheering. They raised their fists high in solidarity, from the Waldorf Educators Guild and Grandparents For Climate Action to the militant black bloc groups of the very far far left and on to the anti-vaxxers and eco-fascists on the other end of the horseshoe. Even the geese seemed to be onboard.

As the sun set, a blaze of red and orange, they all shouted in unison. It was a cry that could be heard from miles away.

by **Stevencousin** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 2:05 am

MD	GAME                                	STADIUM           	CITY         	SPONSORSHIP
MD1	Stevencousin 1-3 Graintfjall         	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	VioletFalcon
MD2	Qasden 0-0 Stevencousin             	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD3	Stevencousin 2-0 Natanians and Nosts	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Anthro Capital
MD4	Kirungabi 3-2 Stevencousin          	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD5	Stevencousin 2-3 Gyatso-Kai        	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	KeyCommerce
MD6	Canadian Dominion 2-3 Stevencousin	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD7	Stevencousin 2-4 Adab                 	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Fairborne Computer
MD8	Dod Rava 2-2 Stevencousin           	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD9	Stevencousin 5-5 Yuezhou                 Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Arthurlie Foods
MD10	Ceni 1-2 Stevencousin                  	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD11	Stevencousin 2-0 Talamia             	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Glenwolf Trading
MD12	Graintfjall 2-1 Stevencousin         	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD13	Stevencousin 0-0 Qasden             	Redfort Camp    	Brigketh	Sabretooth Investment
MD14	Natanians and Nosts 0-1 Stevencousin     NA                 	NA            	NA
MD15	Stevencousin 1-1 Kirungabi               Redfort Camp    	Brigketh	BlackOxygen
MD16	Gyatso-Kai 2-2 Stevencousin        	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD17	Stevencousin 4-3 Canadian Dominion	Waxwood Circle        	Holmdock	Spitfire
MD18	Adab 1-1 Stevencousin                 	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD19	Stevencousin v. Dod Rava           	Waxwood Circle        	Holmdock	Sentinel EC
MD20	Yuezhou v. Stevencousin            	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD21	Stevencousin v. Ceni                  	Readymann Ground	Fixmouth	Fingerworth Lubricant
MD22	Talamia v. Stevencousin             	NA                    	NA              NA

Stadium Data
Stadium:: Waxwood Circle
Nearest City:: Holmdock
Capacity:: 31,800
Brief Data:: Waxwood Circle a multi-use stadium in Stigeswaldeford, Waxwood District, Holmdock, Stevencousin. It has both an indoor stadium and an outdoor stadium within its compound. The outdoor stadium can hold a maximum of 31,800 people and is currently used mostly for football matches, serving as the home stadium to Holmdock Highlander FC and The Highlander Academy. The stadium consists of a soccer field, an 8-lane running track, and a fitness center. In addition to sports events, large concerts are also organized by Waxwood Circle, and a series of political rallies and religious gatherings have also taken place here.

'  Group 5                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Græntfjall                            18   16   1   1    44   14  +30    49
 2 Yuezhou                               18   10   7   1    53   33  +20    37
 3 Adab                                  18    9   6   3    47   33  +14    33
 4 Ceni                                  18    9   4   5    34   27   +7    31
 5 Qasden                                18    8   5   5    30   29   +1    29
 6 Kirungabi                             18    7   4   7    24   21   +3    25
 7 Stevencousin                          18    6   7   5    33   32   +1    25
 8 Gyatso-Kai                            18    6   5   7    32   33   −1    23
 9 Natanians and Nosts                   18    6   0  12    19   37  −18    18
10 Canadian Dominion                     18    4   4  10    31   40   −9    16
11 Dod Rava                              18    2   5  11    18   30  −12    11
12 Talamia                               18    0   2  16    19   55  −36     2

MD 17::: Stevencousin 4–3 Canadian Dominion
Stadium:: Waxwood Circle
Attendence:: 30,067
Stevencousin Scorer:: Gerard Kallstrom ֎ min. 44, Steven Cheyrou ֎ min. 50, Válter Folha ֎ min. 80, & 89
Canadian Dominion:: Jeremiah Symons ֎ min. 12, min. 39 & Christ Irwin ֎ min. 77

MD 18::: Adab 1–1 Stevencousin
Stadium:: Adab City Stadium
Capacity:: 76,500
Adab:: Rebekah YISSAKAR ֎ min. 5
Stevencousin Scorer:: Leon Voloshyn ֎ min. 66 (pen.)

NEXT MATCH
MD	GAME                                	STADIUM           	CITY         	SPONSORSHIP
MD19	Stevencousin v. Dod Rava           	Waxwood Circle        	Holmdock	Sentinel EC
MD20	Yuezhou v. Stevencousin            	NA                    	NA            	NA

Fernandes
Aas - Bernstein - Correia - Dahl
Zubar (C) 
Snajdr -  Jayamanna (VC) -  Saifi
Voloshyn - Kallstrom


Stadium:: Waxwood Circle
Nearest City:: Holmdock
Capacity:: 31,800
Brief Data:: Waxwood Circle a multi-use stadium in Stigeswaldeford, Waxwood District, Holmdock, Stevencousin. It has both an indoor stadium and an outdoor stadium within its compound. 
The outdoor stadium can hold a maximum of 31,800 people and is currently used mostly for football matches, serving as the home stadium to Holmdock Highlander FC and 
The Highlander Academy. The stadium consists of a soccer field, an 8-lane running track, and a fitness center.  In addition to sports events, large concerts are also organized by 
Waxwood Circle, and a series of political rallies and religious gatherings have also taken place here.

by **Ile de Richelieu** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 2:32 am

Île de Richelieu eliminated from a participation at the World Cup

Amarelda, Acastanha - After losing 3 of their last 4 games, Île de Richelieu is now eliminated from a participation at the World Cup. The Cardinals lost 2-0 against Brenecia on matchday 15 and 4-2 against Hopal on matchday 16. Goalscorers for Île de Richelieu were Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers and Rose-Émilie Bouthillette.

Ranveig Eriksen missed matchday 17 against Super Top for having 5 yellow cards since the start of the qualifications. Hjalmar Boberg replaced her in the starting XI. Île de Richelieu took the lead at the 12th minute when Valkyrie Dahlen scored a header goal following at corner kick.Île de Richelieu attacked at the 77th minute when Julie McMullen, who subbed in at the 65th minute, made a short pass to Valkyrie Dahlen who kicks the ball and it's a goal. This is the final score and Île de Richelieu won 2-0. Jean-Christophe Gouin injured himself and will miss the next two games: matchday 18 against Acastanha and matchday 19 against Delte.

Borghild Eggum replaced Jean-Christophe Gouin in the starting XI against Acastanha. Acastanha was the first team to score when, at the 27th minute, Diego Karapa made a cross to Teobaldo Erendi who kicks the ball into the net. It's a goal. Acastanha was leading 1-0 at the halftime. Île de Richelieu tied the game at the 59th minute on a bicycle goal by Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers. Tristan Charbonneau assisted the goal. Hugo Denommée tripped José Marenke in the penalty area at the 76th minute and it's a penalty for Acastanha. Manuel Brandas takes the penalty, he kicks the ball and it's in. Acastanha takes a 2-1 lead. Rose-Émilie Bouthillette almost tied the game at the 84th minute but she kicked the ball on the post. Acastanha increased their lead at the 90+2 minute when Joao Garintig made a long pass to Igor Erdagh, who subbed in at the 76th minute. Erdagh dribbles and kicks the ball from 35 meters and it's a goal. Acastanha wins 3-1.

Île de Richelieu is now officially eliminated with 4 games to go. On matchday 19, the Cardinals will receive Delte at home and Borghild Eggum will still be in the line up in place of Jean-Christophe Gouin. Then, on matchday 20, Île de Richelieu will travel to Pratapgadh.

Jean-Guy Laframboise

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 3:09 am

Princess Mila naked with Jeruselem player Natasha Bush at Dazza Dallas Stadium after they defeated Eura 2-1.

Mila: Hello, this is Princess Mila for Naked News Jeruselem once again reporting on the Jeruselem World Cup 93 campaign. And we're back home again! It's not hard to tell when we're back home. I'm with one of our team, Natasha Bush, one of the forwards.
Natasha: Oh hello everyone
Mila: We were for an important game against Eura, one of the best teams in Group 8. And it was important to get the three points here today.
Natasha: One of the harder games we'be played, they were hard enough to play when we played them in Eura
Mila: Some people might recognise you but in a different industry - as in adult entertainment videos
Natasha: Oh that, that's just my side job. A girl needs another form of employment, you can't rely on football money forever.
Mila: Well, you're talented in both jobs. I wish I could play football but it seems I'm a lot better being a social media butterfly without clothes on.
Natasha: Well, you're pretty good at that. I'm not that social ... I've tried but you do that a lot better.

Mila:
Now, putting the current round 18 in perspective. Round 17 was rather predictable.
The eliminated Bongo Johnson beat the The Cordian Isles 2-1.
Eliminated Osarius lost to visiting Sylestone 2-1.
Kandorith won at home beating eliminated Quakmybush 1-0
Eura had to overcome a stubborn eliminated Gran Saguaro 3–2 at home.
New Gelderland hosted Tjorl, both needing wins but neither could win drawing 3-3.
Rouyoute did everyone a favour, holding Jeruselem to 1-1 draw.
So the round did hold a small surprise, Jeruselem not winning.

Natasha: Yeah, we really should have won that game at Rouyoute ...
Mila: So what happened?
Natasha: I guess they scored the first goal then just decided to defend for the rest of the game. So we didn't have the open game which we use exploit when they push forward.
Mila: So, let's move on the games today! Round 18 of qualification and here we had to play Eura again. Last time was a draw.
Natasha: You can't play the fool with Eura, they'll score if you make stupid mistakes
Mila: For sure, they are still the best scoring team in Group 8 - even better than Kandorith.
Natasha: We've seen them beat up lesser teams without much effort.

Mila: So what happened today?
Gran Saguaro hosted top seed Kandorith who won 2-1, not it mattered much as Gran Saguaro were eliminated.
Quakmybush remained stuck in last as they lost at home to Osarius 1-0
Well a huge clash between home team Sylestone and New Gelderland. Both still in contention and thankfully for ... others, they managed be scoreless and no one won. For Eura, Jeruselem and Kandorith - they'll be happy about it.
Sylestone are hard team to score against, conceding 7 goals in 18 games.
Tjorl beat Bongo Johnson 2-0 at home to keep their hopes alive.
The Cordian Isles had a terrible because Rouyoute thrashed them 4-1, yes Rouyoute ... them.
All eyes on the game today, with two of top 3 seeds clashing. Princesses vs Eura - who won. Princesses REIGN today. Jeruselem won 2-1!

Natasha: That win was hard work, nothing was easy.
Mila: You scored the winning goal giving us 3 points, putting us in a great position in Group 8.
Natasha: My effort was nothing, the defense had to keep out the best attack in Group 8.
Mila: Hey, Jeruselem aren't too bad either ...
Natasha: It could have gone either way, we were less wasteful.
Mila: So that means, Kandorith move back to lead the table with 40 with just two losses. Jeruselem hang on to 2nd spot with 39 points. New Gelderland slipped to 3rd on 38 piints with Eura lurking in 4th on 36 points. Sylestone are still contending back in 5th on 34 points and Tjorl are stuck in 6th on 32 points. With only 4 games left, those teams are next on the chopping block.

Natasha: Hey, why were playing The Land of Make Believe from Bucks Fizz?
Mila: Yeah some people wished we didn't exist, so what else would you play.
Natasha: I guess that's what happens when you ask a professional troll.
Mila: Nah, that's my mother. Saying that my sister is pretty bad ...
Natasha: I know your sister too well.
Mila: I'm the sensible one ... compared to those two. So your adult video career is on hold?

Natasha: Oh that, yeah. I don't have time, football is all consuming.
Mila: Well, keep up the good work.
Natasha: Thanks
Mila: Say, are you related to former Jeruselem player Kate Bush?
Natasha: I really have no idea, having the same surname doesn't mean much unless you're in a particular ... family we know about
Mila: She was in our only finals appearance in the World Cup.

Natasha: Well, I'm not that good.
Mila: That's it from us! We travel to the The Cordian Isles next and then host the top seed Kandorith here afterwards. We've just beaten Eura, can we beat Kandorith?
Natasha: They have the 2nd best defense in Group 8, and lost only two games.
Mila: See you all later, in The Cordian Isles.
Natasha: Yeah, err see you later. Well not me.
Mila: I'll be here, hopefully. I have a feeling my sister will turn up.

by **Baggieland** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 3:37 am

The Interview

Lei Siulung: "Good afternoon everyone, I'm here with Felix Kopperdoun, the World Assembly Ambassador from Millenhaal. Queen Alma asked me to interview this fella in order to shine a light at what exactly happened at the World Assembly a couple of weeks ago. Although why the Queen asked a sports reporter to do this, I have no idea. Ambassador, good day to you."

Felix Kopperdoun: "Good day to you too, and thanks for inviting me to your interview."

Lei Siulung: "Okay, what's the big idea about condemning us?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "Well, it's a long story. See, a few of my friends and I were travelling the world and we stopped in Baggieland. It was nice – for a while – until my boy Mikkels was hungry, so we got some lasagna. We had heard that Baggieland has some of the best lasagna in the multiverse. He began to indulge, however he asked for a fork, and then I never saw him again after that day."

Lei Siulung: "Ugh… he ate lasagna with a fork? How uncouth… I'm not surprised he's disappeared! So, how did you persuade over 75% of the WA to support your proposal?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "I have some distant acquaintances in high places. However, those people over in that far-off region called The West Pacific disagreed and tried to abuse the poor WA proposal managers by dropping thousands of votes against my proposal. Luckily, my acquaintances were mind enough to do this in the opposite way. Those West Pacific folks have something in the mail for them! No, no, I'm perfectly sane, unlike those schmucks who are in for an explosive surprise!"

Lei Siulung: "I see, it seems that Baggieland isn't the only place with unhinged people. What does Millenhaal gain from doing this?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "Nothing, this is to give me clout and recognition in the eyes of my peers! My awful judgy peers."

Lei Siulung: "Are you planning on condemning any other nations?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "Not completely sure, I've mostly been thinking about ways to make money that don't involve being subject to my domineer-I mean, caring sister Marjana. I hear close-up magic pays well."

Lei Siulung: "Nah, I tried that, it doesn't work. Would you recommend Baggieland as a holiday destination?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "Well, I'm here after all, so I might as well earn a bit of cash moonlighting as a travel writer. I see a boat tour over there, complete with authentic pirate theming! Might go over there after this."

Lei Siulung: "Umm… that's not a theme park, but staying on the topic of boats: no one knows the future – should you ever get investigated for abusing your position of power – would you consider joining the crew of HMS Onslaught?"

Felix Kopperdoun: "I'm sure that will never happen, at least until next tax season."

Lei Siulung: "Well, it was nice talking to you Ambassador, but I need to get back to sports reporting, I have a lot of retraining to do after my recent escapades!"

Felix Kopperdoun: "Thank you too."

by **Cabo Azure** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 4:51 am

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

Sonia Vargas stifled a frustrated scream as the video conferencing software buffered again, replacing AJ Zanetti’s face with a slowly-spinning circle. When she’d called this meeting, she’d expected synchronizing timelines to be the issue, but Zanetti had been surprisingly amenable and responded to her email with a well-considered list of discussion topics. Now she and Ademar Carrico were frantically troubleshooting a failing connection, and she was regretting not taking Marisol Silva’s offer to use the state-of-the-art satellite uplink at Villa Silva instead of the overtaxed connection in her downtown office.

The phone on her desk rang, and Sonia took a deep breath before answering it. That was something she’d learned as an assemblywoman; better to answer the phone late or not at all and call them back, than pick up the phone when your emotions were heightened.

“Olá?”

“Mademoiselle Vargas? This is AJ Zanetti.”

“Mr. Zanetti!” Sonia exclaimed, relieved. “You’re on speaker. I’ve got Ademar in the room with me.”

“Hello, Ademar.”

“Hello, Mr. Zanetti.”

Quickly composing herself, Sonia studied the stenographer’s notebook upon which she’d written the topics they’d agreed to discuss. The commissioner position had been vacant since before King Manuel was crowned, and before that it had been a crony job under the Gang of Seven, a way for them to counter Mario Borges’s growing influence as Minister of Culture. Sonia found herself defining her role as she went, and to do that, she needed the support of Paulinho’s successor.

“I’ve got about forty-five minutes,” said Zanetti apologetically. Sonia looked at her watch with regret; they’d lost about fifteen minutes fiddling with the video chat. “Where did you want to start?”

Sonia decided to choose one of the less-controversial options to start with: overseas training camps. She wasn’t opposed to the idea, but would need some strong talking points to sell them to the FAF board. Zanetti delivered with a few–sequestering the players away from the adoring masses that congregated at every domestic training camp, superior facilities overseas compared to at home–but the kicker was that if the camp were in Quebec, he could dedicate more time, up to an extra week per year.

“I have travel days built into my contract for each camp,” Zanetti explained, “I need time to get into my hotel, sleep off the jet lag, that sort of thing. But if the boys are coming to me, I’m willing to use those days to coach instead.”

Sonia took the note and they moved on to foreign-born players, which was bound to be more controversial. The numbers were familiar; half a million people in the islands, millions more abroad who were eligible for Azurean passports. Julian Chan, the Azurean-Quebecois would-be torchbearer for the Azurean Winter Olympics team, had laid it all out for Sonia when she’d chaired the Sports Committee in the Assembly, but just because she understood didn’t mean Azurean fans would.

“Look, I’m going to manage this team either way,” Zanetti said amiably. “If you tell me only to use Azurean-born players, I will. But if you tell me I can call up foreign-born players, I need to know how many and from where, because I’ve got some ideas I think will change the face of this team.”

“Azureans like to win football games more than they like to be xenophobic,” Sonia reasoned. “The first few dual-nationals you sign had better be as close to sure things as you can get.”

“I’ve got that,” Zanetti answered. “Ademar, did you know Oberon M'ba-Pinho has an Azurean passport?”

Ademar’s jaw dropped, and he looked at Sonia with urgency in his eyes. “No, I did not,” he said to the phone. Then to Sonia: “That’s one we need to call up immediately, to cap-tie him before the Quebecois can.”

“I’ll take your word on this kid,” Sonia said, “Call him up for qualifiers. Call it a trial run. I’ll deal with the politics from here. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?”

“One other thing,” answered Zanetti, “Not something I wrote down, but what I’ve been thinking these past few weeks.”

He proceeded to lay out what sounded to Sonia like a sound, well-reasoned case for Cabo Azure to take up hosting international tournaments. Club facilities, he said, were adequate but could always be better, and using them to host international matches would provide both the means and the incentive to improve them. More than that, it would bring clout to the FAF, both internationally and within Cabo Azure, as a source of revenue and international prestige. There were logistical hurdles to be overcome, sure, and Zanetti was quick to admit he didn’t know the first thing about those, but he saw the end as something worth working toward.

Sonia thanked AJ for his time at the end of the call and hung up, then dismissed Ademar, who’d done his job admirably, interpreting Cabo Azure-specific things for AJ and football things for Sonia. Once Ademar had left and the door to her little office was shut, she took her phone off the hook and dialed a number from memory.

“Rut,” she said when a small voice picked up. “What would happen if we brought a Copa Rushmori to Cabo?”

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 5:29 am

World Cup 93 - seventeenth matchday of qualifying
Saint Eleanor 1 (Melcheta Pazorzal goal 77')
Safiloa 0

World Cup 93 - eighteenth matchday of qualifying
Koronavia 1 (Michael Levovich goal 42')
Saint Eleanor 0

OOC: This roleplay is set in the National Liberation ("NLF") Club in Central district, the largest in the country. The Gazette is the paper issued across western districts such as Central, Whitehammer, Queenston and Tannerton.

Oneshot: What Does The Fox Say?

2:28pm - Tuesday 20th January 2004

"Three glasses of whisky, sir. Yes... the standard-issue--" Lydia Nicholls had been bumbling her way through the past 36 hours or so. Sure, these weren't the Harry Islands, or Rouyoute or the Canadian Dominion. Or Cormoe. But it still hurt. Every point counted with just a few games - a few chances, a few shots at history - left to go. She believed it. A good portion of the country believed it. A few people were convinced.

"No. Please, ignore that woman. Just give them two; I'll be here for emotional support." Emotional support. Normally, Bridget Coombe would just not describe herself as offering emotional support. She'd insist she was "there if you needed her" on most occasions, "the third wheel" if she'd had too much green tea for her own good - "to be left alone" on the very rare occasions she had rough patches of her own. She might even call herself an "unofficial therapist" if it had to come to that. Never, ever "emotional support." But a normal occasion this was not. Verbal errors, exits from character, were always going to be common.

Silence. They knew. Liam West was there, just leafing through this morning's copy of The Gazette. "Afternoon, ladies. Latest OptaPoaf playoff draw predictions at your service, page fifteen, if you will."

"Pemecutan?" They hadn't put anything in Lydia's coffee from earlier. She was just alarmed. And rightly so.

"We are losing games we should at least be taking a point from. This is a generous assumption, not a boastful one. This is what happens when we do not do this: we end up stuck in the third pot playing a team that's been in the World Cup final in living memory and were edged out in the quarters two years ago."

"As opposed to...? Sorry, my brain isn't working today."

"It's fine, Lydia. As opposed toooo... somewhere in the region of Gnejs or Pasarga. You're advised that Gnejs and Pemecutan are in the same group, but both would certainly be comparatively easier rides."

"How are we going to win against Pemecutan?"

"The same way we won against Audioslavia."

"Two extra-time goals from an unlikely substitute? Please, Liam. That is not a sustainable road to glory."

"I did not mean it like that. Without delivering a history lesson - against Audioslavia, we were organised, we were prepared, and we did not underestimate the opposition. You cannot win unless you do all of those things."

"We didn't do all of those. Did we really think we could get away with defeating a sixth-pot team on their own soil?"

"You're more circumspect than I feared. Saint Eleanor had a bad habit of being unable to consistently defeat unranked teams in its early years, although we've smoothed out those problems now."

"Could we please smooth out the 'losing crunch games to sneaky middle-ranked bastards who haven't lost in three' problem?"

"Not now, Lydia. Our last four games are against the seventh through tenth seeds. None of them have been too good - but as I've said."

"Oh, dear. Are we going to have a shot against them?"

"That's the plan."

"Also, Mertagne defeated The Holy Empire. We didn't do that. And we drew them twice... last time. Can you imagine how much we'd be ahead if we took all our chances?"

"I am not in control of which countries issue press releases, how often they issue them, whether they're scheduled to play us or how many Notional Situationists we have to deal with. My mates on the ground suggest the figure's been whittled down to 'something you can count on your hand.'"

"I'm past caring about this. As other people have said, we have won once against teams ranked higher than we are. ONCE. Audioslavia."

"I've been over Audioslavia already. A question: Priscilla was quietly hoping we'd make the World Cup more smoothly this cycle, but that hasn't quite happened. When do you think Saint Eleanor will finally punch its tickets in advance?"

"When we host it?"

"World Cup 96, matchday twenty. A crucial match against StrayaRoos is on the line - but Saint Eleanor need to win by two more goals than do Naixi, who face an underwhelming Kandorith. We reliably scrape a 2-0 win. It doesn't matter: Kaya Michiyu, by this point more defensive in her strategy than ever, holds the nation of the two sapphires to a goalless draw."

"Bridget, please stop fantasising. I want actual answers, not stories. I know you're verbally fluid and you're a logical type more than you are a creative type - that combination is very rare - but that wasn't the kind of answer I was pivoting for. What do we need to do before we can seriously consider winning our group - in general, of course?"

"'Before we can seriously consider winning our group.' Don't act like two-against-three playoffs are going to continue forever."

"Six years ago, nobody was acting like away goals in playoffs were going to end forever. It's not a cast-iron law of World Cup organisation. Lydia, you should know this. You haven't even had your drink yet."

"What can we do before we win our group..."

"Sorry. There were a few spillages against Koronavia and I'll happily admit I was responsible for a couple of them."

"You never make mistakes, Bridget. Really: how is sorting them out going to help Saint Eleanor become a better team?"

"There were some occasions I wasn't paying enough attention to Yannick Siewart; for instance, when he was running with the ball..."

"Excellent point. The opposition was running a set of typical defensive strategies throughout the game. The absorbing counter-attack was one of them. Interesting, really; the fullbacks almost never got out of position, so the focus was on the nominal front five. It doesn't correspond perfectly to the 4-2-3-1 in defence and there's a bit of space for our back four to mark their three strikers, but when we put you and Sylvia up against Yannick and Felix - errors matter."

"Why would you do that? This is fucking Koronavia!"

"Yes. We were playing Koronavia on Friday. Everybody tried their best, but we are not world-beaters, we make mistakes sometimes - inadvertently - and we need to recognise what they were and how to correct them. They were defensively solid, albeit by nature. We tried our best in attack, switched off about ten percent in defence. and that happened."

"World-beaters... Zwangzug were official and unofficial world champions. They got one point, total, against Cormoe."

"We got three points against Koronavia. And the gap between us is smaller than the gap between them. There's a good reason to be introspective, but no good reason to be angry."

"This was not good enough. If we miss out on the playoffs by one goal difference again..."

"We have a better goal difference than Darmen in fourth. Switching tack, then: should membership of underrepresented groups be used as a deciding factor in recruitment?"

"Hmmm... I wouldn't support directly discriminating against better-qualified applicants because of their personal characteristics. Huayramarca does something like this with its 30% indigenous quota for government scholarships, but 40% of youth are indigenous so there's little risk of qualified candidates missing out. Offering employment and advancement opportunities solely to certain groups is also right out as far as I'm concerned; I think it might be illegal under Eleanorian law, too. I can see an argument for increasing diversity being used as a tiebreaker, however: it's hard to judge intellectual diversity on paper, but people from different backgrounds can bring different experiences and thought processes to the table."

"No. We live in Saint Eleanor, not Koronavia."

"Which of your teammates would make the best pub landlord, relative to the rest of the group?"

"Probably David. Knowing him, he'd run internal health and safety audits every few weeks, require a decent stockpile of beer at all times, and put signs outside the doors saying 'this is the cheapest price we can offer, go to the dodgy place down the road if you want cheaper.'"

"Arielle Richardson. She acts like she could be good at it, her family's involved in similar stuff already, she's talkative and really knows her stuff about certain issues. But no. Seriously. Does any of this have to do with the fact that we cannot defeat fucking Koronavia with five games left in the most important World Cup qualifiers of our lifetimes?"

"Koronavia 'with five games left' is not Valanora in the World Cup Final. I do not want you hyperventilating about Koronavia like you seemingly have been for the past two days. I'm asking these questions so you can calm down, focus on other things, think about what the problem is and then get back to me."

∴

2:54pm - Tuesday 20th January 2004

"How was the discussion, then, ladies?"

"I've talked to Bridget and... well... now I understand we still have a few chances to get this right."

"I've talked to Lydia for a bit. She's not as pissed off as she was."

"Good stuff. How far should the Metro lines in the city be expanded?"

"Most of the east coast is only covered by the Red Line, which verges on criminal."

"I'd agree with Lydia there. The new western districts and a lot of the north-western places are also poorly-serviced in the grand scheme of things, although we shouldn't just build track wherever people suspect there'll be an added iota of demand. The underground runs 24 hours with heavy government subsidies already and almost nobody wants that status quo to change."

"Suppose you're going on a day out. What's your get-up?"

"Now that I'm a mum... I suppose it's time to look the part? I think I'd go for a plain white shirt, one of those nice colourful woolen jacket things, a pair of black jeans and some chunky heels. Wait, is this a formal or informal occasion? Bridget, is is okay to wear black jeans to formal occasions?"

"Yes, it is. I wore them at the SEFA awards gala last month and President Lucas didn't seem to mind. If I was just expected to turn up or I'm on a more casual day out, I'd go with that but with the leather jacket instead. You know I'd say that. Obviously, a visit to the shops would merit something much more ordinary than a nice presentation I've been sent an RSVP for; probably some other club's replica top, a denim skirt - or Daisy Dukes if it gets that bad - and trainers of some sort."

"You didn't strike me as a hotpants type, although I can understand that some Eleanorians might overreact to the temperature reaching above something like 80 Fahrenheit. What club?"

"Right? And I'm glad you asked. I have several dozen tops at home, although I've fallen in love with Montreal Koreana's classic home strip and the away kit Herzegovina Phoenix had the last time they were in the S-FPL. Don't ask! If I feel like getting myself dolled up or it's something important - say, accompanying my friend to a meeting with the captain to discuss ways forward for the national team - I'd go for a nice LBD, tights (I mean, it's two degrees outside) and sensible boots. But no makeup; it's a bigger cause of timewasting than diving. Again, I can change things about - the umbrella, the ornamental sunglasses, the I'm-actually-going-to-use-them sunglasses... the leather jacket. The general vibe - SEFA's international transfers department thinks I'm more in the 'off-duty village cricketer' category. And trousers; I don't mind those, despite what some people think. I'm speaking from a 'boring January weekday' perspective here, although this meeting's been anything but."

"Wow. You pay far more attention to this than I do."

"Since there appears to have been some confusion and a ton of sidetracking, what is your ideal day out?"

"Saint Eleanor? There isn't an awful lot to do in Broadlands other than work in the factory, so... I'd probably just go to Dignity Cross, get a few things, have a look around a few of the local high streets and other attractions - not too far from me, however. I'd need some time to plan it all out."

"I'd probably have a look around one of the local museums, wander around the town centre, buy a couple of souvenirs if I'm outside Saint Eleanor or Latrobe, take in as many of the other local sights as possible, and then I'd have a nice meal at one of the fancy restaurants. If it was a small village, I'd go to the local pub - obviously I'd just order a glass of water - admire the village church, pray the Rosary for an hour or so, order a nice postcard from the local convenience store and mail it to one of my teammates. I think Zizi Britton or Esther Launceston, say, would appreciate the gesture."

"Would you rather win a second consecutive Cup of Harmony or make the World Cup?"

"That's the sucker punch, isn't it? The prospect of more silverware is alluring. But I'm mad - or was mad, rather - that we might not have gotten a fair shot at qualification. Football isn't a fair sport; it never has been, especially not at this level. But if we can pull together and avoid the stupid-ass bullshit we saw against Koronavia, we'll be golden." And, finally, Lydia took a swig of her whisky.

"Newmanistan and Qasden are the only teams ever to win back-to-back Cups of Harmony. Neither of them got out of their World Cup group the next cycle. I'd like to say I'm being optimistic, but I honestly think the current squad is fully capable of making the World Cup. If it comes down to a playoff against Pemecutan and we win that, then... who knows? Should we dream of the quarterfinals as they did? Also, two weeks more holiday. Imagine how many quaint little villages I could fill into that."

"I'm not sure. Maybe ten - Eleanorians can be a bit insular but they'd bite anyone's hand off for a chance of escaping, even for a day. Ask Latrobe Athletic's HR team; I'm pretty sure there are a few nice places in Etnier. It's a big province."

"Lydia, you asked to meet up with me - here, and now - to discuss ways we could make the team better. Your friend over here has contributed more than you have. She's even given more of a response to the silly little distraction questions I fed you! This is a good attempt at catching up, but Bridget's given her thoughts already. You still haven't told me what we need to do before we can win a World Cup qualification group, ever."

"The obvious answer would be to get some World Cup experience; seeing where we'd find ourselves in the rankings after three qualifications in a row, after which the World Cup Committee stops counting for rank purposes, would be extremely interesting. If we have three okay runs, probably something like 20th. Anything better than that, we'd be first seeds for cycle 95 or 96, favourites for qualification and we'll see where Maggie takes us from there. Obviously, if we win all seven games in Chromatika and Tumbra, this doesn't matter."

"That's the theory. What about the practice?"

"I was going to say - Bridget makes good points, as she always does. We do need to work on making the team work more cohesively; I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself so I'm happy to admit our work is never done, but I think everybody of every stripe in the business agrees. Even if we're on top of the world, we can't drop the ball or else we'll get Cormoed. This means strengthening defensive training. This means getting our attackers into better positions. Dare I say it... this means more tests."

"Even when those tests lead to Saint Eleanor having to play Pemecutan for a spot in the World Cup finals?"

"Exactly, Liam, sir. How are we going to win against Pemecutan? By having a properly-executed game plan, starters who care, substitutes who are ready, fans who are devoted, a coaching staff that wants to get us ready - and a captain who knows how to handle the pressure."

"You know I'll be gone after the summer. Most likely, it'll either be Bridget or Jessica - but you never know."

"Not if Melcheta has his way. He probably won't, but I love him, too. You - or the other lady - would make a good successor, I guarantee it. But for the time being, you're the one."

"Indeed he is. We can't prepare for every challenge without preparing for the greatest challenge we can imagine. Koronavia might have been an obstacle, but with enough critical thinking, it can become a stepping stone."

"You have the right of it, Bridget."

"She does, Lydia. I think we can distil the action plan into a few..."

∴

3:10pm - Tuesday 20th January 2004

"Hello, Steve. I think you might be a bit late."

"I'm not late. I just felt like turning up. John told me you were here talking to Bridget about something."

"Indeed. That something's about how we pick the national team up from the unholy mess Koronavia left us in over the weekend. As I said, we can distil the discussion into a few points."

"Do tell, please."

"Please!"

"I can tell the me-time and the whisky did you good. I should have my shot now." And he did. "Firstly, don't panic. Lydia over here panicked because we didn't perform optimally against Koronavia and risked a seemingly-precarious playoff tie as a result. We can't be at full capacity all of the time, but - this brings me to my second point - I'd like to see some effort being made in all matches. The twin losses against the Holy Empire hurt even more after what Cardenao and Mertagne did against them. They're a good team and we've played them in some form before, but we weren't fully switched on in those matches. We slacked off a bit against Koronavia and that cost us, practically and mentally."

"Oh, my God. I tried my best... but human errors like these are so avoidable we should have avoided them. If we did, you wouldn't be here."

"My thoughts exactly, Steve. Thirdly, and finally, we need to toughen up. Everyone in the camp - even Exandra and Sam - has agreed from day one that we can't just waltz into a good qualifying position. Some people believe otherwise and I think those expectations cost us. As Esther wrote for the Reporter last yeaaa--last Cup of Harmony, I mean, expectations stick - and she was talking about the negative expectations. We need to focus, be in a mental state where we think we can defeat anybody - however strong they may seem - given the right resources, the right tactics and the right strategy, and the gold ore will sure enough be refined."

"How do we refine it? Tinhampton was the Miners; they're the bad guys, aren't they?"

"It's called a metaphor. If you want a snappy catchphrase, we need to show up, wisen up and toughen up - before, during and after every game. The chemistry's there, and has been for years; if we do these things right, we'll be set forever."

"Is there a fourth takeaway?"

"Yes: Lydia and Bridget have surprisingly similar tastes in fashion. Not surprising if you know what the so-called Eleanorian fashion scene is like."

"Not surprising, indeed; both of them look gorgeous."

"Anyway, you know what to do, all of you: the Republic of Covelandia beckons on Monday. Prepare, and prepare like you're about to face The Holy Empire all over again. Liam West is over, out, and in the local area for the rest of the week if you want to catch up. Cheers, you lot."

"Ah - Bridget Coombe is going to be with her parents for the time being if you'd like to talk to her instead!" A few seconds later: "Right, then - off to the training ground with you? It'll do everyone good."

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 5:48 am

The qualifiers slowly crawl to a close, and only a few teams have escaped so far: Zwangzug and Græntfjall - the two most recent World Cup champions. In fact, all of the last seven champions are first in their group as it stands, going back all the way to the Free Republics' World Cup win. The Free Republics haven't been involved in WCC football since that final - that takes 'quit while you're on top' as far as it goes. The two champions before them, Farfadillis and Equestria, are still involved but not in first place in their groups. Equestria were kicked out ages ago and Farfadillis are having trouble with Anaians Huayramarca. It's all different winners all the way back to that one - the two before that were both won by Vilita, who are leading group 11 as well. Turns out that usually, teams stay good after winning the final.

We had to wait all the way until matchday 18 to write the above statistic. The past World Cup winners are definitely not the only good teams out there - and we can know. It's not been that long since we hoisted the trophy ourselves, but every qualification since then felt like an uphill battle, culminating in this series were we narrowly held on to pot 1 status following the surprise cancellation by Squidroidia. In the ensuing draw, we got paired with the team ranked one spot below us, Quebec and Shingoryeo, and the obvious qualification battle was set. It was going to be them or us, with opportunities for Naixi, the Ochre Islands, and Geektopia to get the third spot - or dethrone either of the top two teams. And for a while, the Ochre Islands looked to do that.

The three took a little while to get settled, but only the Ochre Islands dipped below third just once, on matchday four. Ko-oren couldn't find their footing at the start of the cycle, starting 9th and only climbing up until they hit first place, a spot they'd claim for four straight matchdays - then the Harry Islands 4-1 loss and various draws set in for them to drop to third. Quebec and Shingoryeo also had a mediocre start, but they never went as low as the Dragonflies, though they would get stuck in third for a while.

Since matchday five, all the way until eighteen, these three teams made up the top three, with hardly any other team challenging them. Sure, the Harry Islands took points from both teams on the Salamantic Sea, and Naixi basically beat every team below them but then failed to beat the top three. After the Dragonflies had first for four games, they'd slowly drop to third all while the other two claimed the top spot for a few days at a time, before the Dragonflies triumphantly skipped from third to first - and then went back down to third immediately. The Quebecois had an opportunity to run away with it, but after two rounds in first they too fell to third - a common curse. In fact, all three teams fell from first to third exactly once: Ko-oren on MD13-14 (Ko-oren 1–1 Fort McKinley), Ochre Islands on MD14-15 (Ko-oren 4–2 Ochre Islands), and Quebec on MD 17-18 (Harry Islands 0–0 Independent Athletes from Quebec).

And so, with everything going on between these three, the Dragonflies are first for now - on points, but surely not on goal difference. If the Quebecois ever draw level with us on points, they'll easily overtake us, while we have the advantage over the Ochre Islands on goal difference and head-to-head.

Independent Athletes from Quebec 3–1 Ko-oren
Ko-oren 1–1 Independent Athletes from Quebec (advantage Quebec: 4-2, 1w 1d 0l)

Ochre Islands 0–2 Ko-oren
Ko-oren 4–2 Ochre Islands (advantage Ko-oren: 6-2, 2w 0d 0l)

Independent Athletes from Quebec 4–0 Ochre Islands
TBD

Two things are on the Dragonflies' side from here on out. First, they're already top of the group. Second, the Ochres and Reapers play each other, and this late in the cycle that means that a win for one knocks the other out quite definitively, and a draw prevents either team from upward movement. So, after everything that was said about Davenport's defence, they're first. Pick a lane: either demand fewer goals conceded and accept that you lose points in the process (by turning wins into draws, usually), or celebrate the wins and accept that you're going to concede more goals if the match calls for a riskier approach. At least the team trended under one goal allowed per game, and the current rate of 0.78 GA/Game puts this cycle still in a horrible place but it's not as bad as it was. In fact, it's still by far the worst GA/Game of our modern era, but we're creeping closer to WC 88's 0.72 rather than WC 80's 1.39.

And it's not like Davenport hasn't taken measures. The team's gelling together far better than at the start, which is partially personnel and partially gameplan. Looking at the tape, the lines communicate much better, the back line is straight as can be, and free defenders/midfielders pick up opponents much more diligently and consistently. In particular we've seen the renaissance of Uozomi, who roamed the area just in front of the centrebacks as a defensive mid, but is now put on man-to-man duty far more often, taking out the main creative brain of our opponents, and freeing up Van Schelven or Mulvahil in central defence, who have a much better sense of where they're needed. We're going to miss the old generation of defenders - amazing vision, each and every one of them. Mallerbury - on paper the best guy on that back line - has been moved to the bench on a couple of occasions, making room for Hoevink, who is a much better fit. yLleamaid has taken over for Van Schelven in case of injury, but the Mawr of WSR AFC is definitely not ready yet. Mizuno has been taken off for Kanji a handful of times and despite the side mismatch - Kaji operates strictly on the left with Katashi-Kanatsu - the youngster has done very well on the right side in the few attempts he got.

At the same time, we're scoring 1.78 goals per game. If production's improved even a little bit, it'll sit in second behind WC 88's insane 2.17 GF/Game, ahead of the 1.89 and 1.86 posted in 87 and 90 respectively. Longchambon is aging like wine - losing pace, maintaining accuracy, and improving vision - while Parsons and Entatingun are a great duo to watch, shifting playmaking duties between them and sensing when to go narrow and focus on short passing or when to move out and find space on the wing. And again, Mizuno and Van Kalvenhaar as wingbacks are helping out a lot to widen our attacks as well. Lastly, Aomelirea is looking like what Archer should have been - not just a targetman but also someone who can help out in midfield to set up one of many potential goalscorers: Entatingun, Longchambon, and Van Kalvenhaar all have a nose for scoring. It helps that Aomelirea isn't afraid to drop back, while Archer rarely does so.

by **Nyowani Kitara** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 8:03 am

Memoires d'Athletes
Entry by Armoni Okombo, captain of Nyowani Kitara
A Quebecois magazine, with entries globally directly from athletes for fans

Why I'm finishing out this cycle- either at the Cup of Harmony or the World Cup Finals- and then hanging up the boots on my International Career

Hello to many of you. Some of you are fans of mine, many of you are not. My name is Armoni Okombo- and I serve, proudly, as the captain of the Nyowani Kitara national team. Being able to captain your country, in a sport such as this one, has been an honor unlike any other. I have been here for some years, as well. Everyone knows the struggles that my country has been through the past few years, and how much of it has directly effected this national team. Yet, I'm blessed to be playing a position as demanding as wingback, for a major national team, still going strong at 35 years young.

But I know that you cannot do all things forever. And that I should appreciate what I've accomplished- and how far I've come.

How far have I come?

I grew up basically in the beginning of the Akongo era, in Dewayo. Living in the projects, in one of the most crime-filled parts of the capitol city. My father worked in a factory, while my mother worked as a schoolteacher. I came from a very working class background, and I had all sorts of passion for the game. Like many major cities in Rushmore, street football was an outlet for me. Courts and fields everywhere- for me to practice my foot skills, for me to practice my ability to ply my trade, to play football like its truly meant to be played- with pace and joy. And like for many kids- football was my way out.

I've been starting at left back for the national team for basically the vast majority of my adult life. At age 24, I was called up to the NT at Copa Rushmori 37. Think about how different of a time that was. The tournament was in Eura. We weren't competing in World Cups yet. We had a player-manager. A man that I looked up to- Tage Hermansson. We were, at least compared to the standards of today, a haphazard operation. And yet, that tournament was such a thrill. Yes, we went out in group play after a BRUTAL draw against Eastfield Lodge. But we made those memories- and that was a building block.

After that tournament, of course, I made my move to Mytanija for club football- and stayed there for good. 1923 Esca has been incredibly kind to me. Playing in Mytanija- it is absolutely unreal. The passion for the sport, the adrenaline- you absolutely can go to whatever country in the world, and cannot do better than Mytanar fans. That's why this past season's run, to the Champions League Final, meant so much to me- and the fact that we lost hurt so badly. But 1923 Esca is rising- we will be back, and someday, will be crowned as the champions of club football.

I think about club football, and how much that club means to me. But then, I think back to international football- my country means so much to me as well. Think about all that we went through, as a nation. Civil War. Team Defections. Playing home Qualifiers in Tikariot. Yet, we've been able to build the foundations for long-term success in each World Cup Qualifying cycle. A playoff appearance, parlayed by a second playoff appearance- where we won and got to the Finals. And then, of course, last time out- absolutely special to reach the World Cup semifinals.

I understand. I'm 35. I have accomplished everything that I have wanted to. I have worn the armband for my country. I have been part of a NT that united the nation, in some of the darkest times that Rushmore has ever seen. I played in a game where the winner went to the freaking World Cup Final- and we actually beat the WC92 champs at the WC. But if I want to focus on giving it my all for one more run, at the club level- I have to hang up my international boots. There's only so much energy you can expend as your body starts to age in a sport like this.

But do not cry for me. Sing for me. I am just bought a boy from Dewayo, who has played on some of the biggest stages that sport has to offer- a World Cup Semifinal, and an IFCF Champions League Final. I will lead us through our last couple of Qualifiers- and regardless of which WCC tournament we end up in, do my damndest to try and get a trophy. But at the end of said tournament, that will be it- the Okombo in the red and black will be no more.

by **Harry Islands** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 8:13 am

Harryans, are taking their fervent support to every game so far, the Harryan Sport Confederation (HSC) say we have had a "good" performance recently, the February protests in the Harry Islands have taken a bit of a toll on players, but nothing big, the players, of course, are confident for the next game, and want to do the same as they did with Ko-Oren, 4-1, we need to repeat that!

HARRYANS, LET'S GO!

by **Brookstation** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 8:19 am

UNFORGETTABLE MATCHDAYS

WHEN STEVE ALONSO SHOWED NORWEGIAN WOOD HIS CLASS

Like any other football club, Space Coast Rockets are not without their share of club legends. Starting from a series of tough defenders, an array of immensely skilled midfielders and of course the most exciting set of forwards, whose impact still remains on the game even after their departure several years ago.

Starting with the undisputed ‘del Architect’, Vincent del Aqua himself, and the likes of Bernd Vogt and before him, Ivan Peluda, all the way to the initial makers of history Wayne Malkovich and Trevor Bird, Space Coast has always been gifted with perhaps one of the most talented set of players on the front line.

Another player who has made a long lasting impact for the club is the beloved goalscorer, the Bollonischian Steve Alonso, who stayed in Space Coast for a total of seven seasons between 1996 and 2003, having found his way to Brookstation after an impressive period in East Akusha CF followed by a return to his home soil, this time working his spell on the yellow and cyan half of Vreton. Even if his 51 goals for the Rockets puts him quite behind in the list of Space Coast’s alumnis, his contribution to the club cannot possibly be questioned. If any Rocket fan is questioned on the brilliance of Alonso, they’ll surely sit you over a cup of tea a chat for hours, recollecting the cheerful memoirs of Alonso in Space Coast. The two time Bollonischian Player of the Year had a great personality, an ever smiling face and most importantly the oblique style of play which set him apart from the rest of the lot and made him a Space Coast legend.

Ask FC 69 Norwegian wood for instance, Alonso could play and the Norwegian wood side would learn that very well on the week of Christmas in 2000 when the Bollonischian shocked the hell out of the Purple’s defense and performed his best tricks on the fine stage, The Fortress , helping the Rockets pick up three successive points.

Ian Harris’ Norwegian wood had started the season on a fine line having not lost a single game after eight fixtures. What was better was their record at home, having not conceded a single goal till that unfortunate day. Moreover, on their last endeavour at the Fortress, they had thrashed Artiana with four goals, clearly issuing a warning on anyone who dared to step into the Fortress. On Boxing Day, 26th December, 2000, just a week after their previous thrashing at home, Norwegian wood were back with Space Coast this time. Space Coast were the clear victims of the seemingly invincible Norwegian wood side and all they could try to achieve that day was a draw amidst the home crowd.

40 minutes had already elapsed and till then everything was fine for Space Coasts until Dong Caruso embarked on a journey towards the left wing, utilising the space offered to him by the careless Space Coast defense. He then crossed the ball perfectly to Pat Goodwin whose head would find the perfect gap between Bernd Vogt and Luc Giasson, before whistling past Michael Banos’ net. Norwegian wood finally had the advantage.

After a few minutes had elapsed since half time, Caruso would now become the scorer instead of assister. On the right flank of the field, Goodwin slipped the ball to Scott McCullough who rushed forward to send a whooping cross to the penalty area which quite flexibly evaded the Space Coast defense and waiting there was McCullough’s fellow midfieler Caruso, perfectly set to snatch the opportunity to put his team two up. Space Coast were now in deep trouble and a call for action was required soon enough.

The fight against the slaughterers had begun soon enough. A careful passing game from side to side, exploiting the different regions of the field, finally landed the ball at the feet of Vogt at the left wing. His cross to the box was successfully blocked by Michael Amajagal but to Space Coast’s benefit, the ball had deflected right to Jamie Kirkov whose instant pass found Alonso. The Bollonischian’s first touch smashed the ball between two Norwegian wood defenders who attempt to dispose of the ball but Alonso’s quick response put the ball confidently in Howard Otto’s net. But it was too late already. To keep their hopes alive, Space Coast had to find an equaliser within fifteen minutes.

As soon as the 80th minute had commenced, Vogt found Kirkov free at the left wing and passed the ball. Amajagal and Irwin would put up a double defensive stunt to stop Kirkov from closing in but Kirkov found the perfect angle and without hesitation crossed the ball towards the box with his right foot. Dashing past two Norwegian wood defenders, the ball reached Alonso whose heavy touch brought the ball into an area from which he could avoid the attention of Irvine. From six yards outside the goal line, Alonso smashed the ball high, aiming it at the corner of Otto’s net. The goalkeeper dived but the ball went it anyways. The scores were now tied.

Norwegian wood had not witnessed such an event in the recent past and thus offended by what was going on, Norwegian wood pressed forward in hopes of a late winner. Goodwin and McCullough kept swapping the ball from time to time but when Goodwin seeked to run past, Vogt would smartly intercept the ball, regaining possession. From there, Vincent Del Aqua picked up the ball and ran inside but when an array of defenders would surround him, he could only penetrate the defense and pass it to Alonso. Alas! The pass was misplaced and Norwegian wood defender John Irwin would have the ball unless he bumped into the Bollonischian. Alonso again had the ball with him this time.
Panicked by the whole situation, Otto had come out of his goal and rushed forward towards Alonso before pouncing and plunging his hands forward. It was necessary. Alonso shot but to Norwegian wood’s sheer luck, the ball deflected off Otto onto Alonso who still managed to keep it in play as he progressed further into the goal. A courageous display by the defense gave the goalkeeper some time to retaliate to his post but Norwegian wood were still very much at a disadvantage.

Vogt and del Aqua shouted and screamed to the striker to pass, trying to overcome the wave of Purple shirt defenders but to everyone’s surprise, Alonso decided to keep the ball to himself. He would just blindly shoot once again, this time with his left foot, from an absurd angle from where scoring was nearly impossible. The ball shoved elegantly and curved beautifully, evading a jumping Irwin, evading a jumping Irvine and right into the corner of the net. The commentator couldn’t help but shout in sheer amazement, “He has done it. He had demolished Norwegian wood. He has scored a hat trick at the bloody Fortress. Brilliant.” That was in fact the reaction of the entire crowd present that day. Alonso’s orthodox thinking, his positioning, timing all were just perfect and had finally allowed a team to knock Norwegian wood down.

After the final whistle, Alonso was approached by fellow Amajagal who was eager to have his shirt as a memoir of the beautiful game that was played that day. It was not something one would usually do after such a humiliation but the act was well justified. Alonso had done it all. Space Coast manager, Tom Salter himself admitted a bit of a disappointment, “I really expected him to pass. He has scored by a miracle but had he not, it would’ve been a massive disappointment. But he did prove us all wrong by scoring one of the best goals I have ever witnessed in my life. He is a winner at the end of the day, a true maestro.”

The hat-trick that day would be Alonso’s only one during his stay in Space Coast but the club did not demand anymore from him. Alonso will always be treasured by Space Coast fans, not only for his single handed show that day in Norwegian wood but for every other unique moment of joy he had brought to the club for the following years.

MORE FROM THE BEAUTIFUL GAME :
Del Aqua, Vogt, Salter and the resurrection of Space Coast Rockets
Meet Faouzi Omar, the man who collected over 1000 football jerseys from all over the multiverse
A thousand miles away from qualification

by **Srubnaya culture** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 9:31 am

Srubnaya News Association

In the end, Srubnaya wasnt able to avoid elimination, they did manage to pull one more victory from a 3-2 spectacle where Ammaticus Salius scored a game winning goal at 89' after the other two forwards scored at 33' and 67' but agianst the stronger team they crumbled and ended up losing 3-1. This marks the end of the Srubnaya WC 93 story. As the team goes home disappointed in themselves, they are congratulated by their fans for their efforts to improve, mentioning how all the players had grown over the 18 matches that were played. Unfourtanetly someone must loose, and that someone was Srubnaya, who never managed to get back to the success of the first 8 games, causing a downward spiral which proved to be inescapable. Srubnaya ends their World Cup 93 experience as the 6th seed 7-4-7. We would like to thank all our viewers for listening in on our broadcast. You know there are richer, and higher quality news channels out there, but you decided to stay with us the entire way. So from the entire Srubnaya News Association staff, goodbye, and we will see you in the near future with more news involving sports and Politics.

by **Obrela** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 10:18 am

The Obrelan Star, Saturday 25th February 2023

Sport

Obrela falls short in World Cup, losing 1-0 to Ryfenia

In a tightly contested match at the World Cup, Obrela suffered a narrow 1-0 defeat to Ryfenia.

The game started off on an even keel, with both teams playing cautiously and probing for openings in the opposition defense. Obrela had a few good chances to take the lead, but were unable to convert them into goals. Ryfenia, on the other hand, looked dangerous on the counter-attack and forced some good saves from Obrelan goalkeeper Hiroki.

The turning point of the game came in the 38th minute, when Ryfenia was awarded a penalty after a clumsy challenge from Koichi Shira. The Ryfenian striker stepped up and coolly slotted the ball into the bottom corner, leaving Hiroki with no chance.

Obrela tried to respond immediately, but the Ryfenian defense held firm and kept them at bay for the rest of the game. Despite some late pressure and a flurry of corners, Obrela was unable to find the equalizer and the game ended 1-0 in favor of Ryfenia.

It was a disappointing result for Obrela, who had come into the game with high hopes of securing a positive result. They will need to regroup quickly and bounce back in their next match if they hope to progress to the knockout stages of the World Cup.

Interview with the Manager

Interviewer: Kenji, tough result today. Can you give us your thoughts on the game?

Kenji Ohashi: Yes, it was a disappointing result for us. We came into the game with a lot of confidence, but unfortunately, we couldn't get the result we wanted.

Interviewer: What do you think went wrong for your team today?

Kenji Ohashi: I think we played well in parts of the game, but we lacked that cutting edge in front of goal. We had a few good chances to score, but we couldn't capitalize on them. And of course, the penalty we conceded was a costly mistake.

Interviewer: Your team seemed to struggle against Ryfenia's counter-attacking style. Did you prepare for that in your pre-match analysis?

Kenji Ohashi: Yes, we were aware of their strengths and we tried to nullify their counter-attacks. But credit to Ryfenia, they played well and made it difficult for us to break them down.

Interviewer: You had a lot of possession in the second half but couldn't create clear-cut chances. How do you plan to improve your attacking play in the upcoming games?

Kenji Ohashi: We need to work on our finishing and be more clinical in front of goal. We also need to be more patient in our build-up play and not rush things. We'll be working on these aspects in training and hopefully, we'll see an improvement in our next game.

Interviewer: Finally, what's your message to the fans back home who are disappointed with the result?

Kenji Ohashi: I understand their disappointment, but I want to assure them that we will give our all in the last game. We have a strong squad and we believe we can still progress to the knockout stages of the tournament. We need their support and we'll do everything we can to make them proud. Thank you.

The Star on Sunday, Sunday 26th February 2023

Sport

Yuko Miyura's brace not enough as Obrela crashes out of World Cup

Obrela’s hopes of progressing to the knockout stages of the World Cup were dashed in a thrilling encounter against StrayaRoos, which ended 4-3 in favor of Obrela.

The game got off to a fast start, with both teams playing an attacking brand of football. Obrela took the lead in the 12th minute, with a well-placed shot from their star striker, Yuko Miyura. However, StrayaRoos responded quickly with a goal of their own from Kajioup just two minutes later.

Obrela regained the lead in the 26th minute, thanks to a powerful header from Miller. StrayaRoos, however, were not going to go down without a fight, and Luke Kaiplo equalized once again just before halftime.

The second half was just as exciting, with both teams pushing for the win. Obrela took the lead once again in the 67th minute with a stunning long-range effort from Miyashimo. But, StrayaRoos showed their resilience and equalized once again just three minutes later.

With the game tied at 3-3, Obrela knew that they needed a win to progress to the next round. They continued to push forward, and their persistence paid off when Miyura scored his second goal of the game in the 85th minute.

Despite a late onslaught from StrayaRoos, Obrela held on for the win. However, their joy was short-lived as they learned that they had been knocked out of the World Cup.

It was a bitter pill to swallow for Obrela, who had come into the tournament with high hopes. They will now have to regroup and focus on their next challenge, as they look to build for the future and make a stronger showing in the next edition of the World Cup.

Interview with Miyura

Interviewer: Yuko, tough result today. You managed to score two goals but unfortunately, it wasn't enough to secure the win. Can you give us your thoughts on the game?

Yuko Miyura: Yes, it was a tough game. We knew that we needed to win to progress to the next round, and we gave it our all. Unfortunately, we fell short in the end, but I'm proud of my teammates for fighting until the very end.

Interviewer: You scored two great goals today, how do you feel about your performance?

Yuko Miyura: I'm happy to have scored two goals, but ultimately, it's about the team performance. We came here with high hopes, and it's disappointing to be going home so soon. But, we will learn from this experience and come back stronger in the future.

Interviewer: What do you think went wrong for your team today?

Yuko Miyura: I think we played well, but we conceded some soft goals. We need to work on our defensive organization and make sure we're tighter at the back. But overall, it was a tough group and we gave it our all.

Interviewer: What's your message to the fans back home who will be disappointed with the result?

Yuko Miyura: I want to thank them for their support throughout the tournament. We're disappointed not to have made it to the next round, but we will come back stronger. We have a young and talented squad, and we'll continue to work hard to achieve our goals.

by **Archalit** » Sat Feb 25, 2023 12:52 pm

Style Mod Change: +5 -> -5
EXECUTIVE MEETING - TEAM ARCHALIT

Savojarna (37)
Elmyia (124)
Varavel (284)
Nephara (11)
Srednjaci (101)

"This is who we have left..."

"Thanks Nisha," Krystol held her head, "god, this Cup is giving me a headache."

"It would be so convenient if we didn't exactly draw-lose," Jeff Jefferson thought out loud, "now we have to deal with 'technically possible to qualify' odds."

"Well..." Alicia Lockhart started, a quiet tone in her voice, "if we want to win, could we... try my idea?"

...

Alicia expected it to get refuted like it has every time she brought it up. This time, however, it was met with silence.

Juan spoke up. "I think we could execute it?" He spoke in a very unsure manner, "Krystol, are you gonna give the go ahead?"

Krystol sat there, hands over her mouth. She began speaking. "So," she paused for a moment before continuing, "I don't know if it would ever work, but we really don't have any other options do we."

"Anything that could give us even drawing chances against Nephara, right?"

"Jeff," Nisha quickly shot that down, "no shot we don't lose to Nephara."

"Doesn't matter," Krystol jumps in, "if we lose to Savojarna, it's..."

"Don't even think about that." Juan rubs down his face with his hands, "It'd be more worth thinking about how we make this change so quickly in the first place."

"Okay," Alicia wore a neutral expression, hiding her excitement to finally implement her change, "we're going over-defensive 4-3-3 for the rest of the season."

"Alright, next time the full team meets, we'll make the change." Krystol starts writing an email to the team, giving them the warning before these upcoming days.

World Cup 93 - RP Thread

Match report: Koronavia 1-0 Saint Eleanor

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