World Cup 93 - RP Thread

by **Stevencousin** » Thu Feb 16, 2023 4:46 pm

MD GAME STADIUM CITY SPONSORSHIP
MD1 Stevencousin 1-3 Graintfjall Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm VioletFalcon
MD2 Qasden 0-0 Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD3 Stevencousin 2-0 Natanians and Nosts Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm Anthro Capital
MD4 Kirungabi 3-2 Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD5 Stevencousin 2-3 Gyatso-Kai Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm KeyCommerce
MD6 Canadian Dominion 2-3 Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD7 Stevencousin 2-4 Adab Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm Fairborne Computer
MD8 Dod Rava 2-2 Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD9 Stevencousin 5-5 Yuezhou Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm Arthurlie Foods
MD10 Ceni 1-2 Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD11 Stevencousin v. Talamia Federal Unity Stadium Cassaholm Glenwolf Trading
MD12 Graintfjall v. Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD13 Stevencousin v. Qasden Redfort Camp Brigketh Sabretooth Investment
MD14 Natanians and Nosts v. Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD15 Stevencousin v. Kirungabi Redfort Camp Brigketh BlackOxygen
MD16 Gyatso-Kai v. Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD17 Stevencousin v. Canadian Dominion Waxwood Circle Holmdock Spitfire
MD18 Adab v. Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD19 Stevencousin v. Dod Rava Waxwood Circle Holmdock Sentinel EC
MD20 Yuezhou v. Stevencousin NA NA NA
MD21 Stevencousin v. Ceni Readymann Ground Fixmouth Fingerworth Lubricant
MD22 Talamia v. Stevencousin NA NA NA

Stadium Data
Stadium:: Federal Unity Stadium
Nearest City:: Cassaholm
Capacity:: 98,500
Brief Data:: The biggest stadium in Stevencousin, located in the Carmenzon District to the south of the city center of Stevencousin's capital city, Cassaholm, is an all-seater multi-purpose stadium for international concerts, weddings and sporting events and the home ground of the Stevencousin national football team. It was built by Posquieiras Heavy Engineering and designed by Billingeburg & Co. Interestingly, the stadium is not public property, nor is it managed by a sports association. The owner is the Federal Unity conglomerate group. They sponsor and cover the construction and renovation costs in full, but they also get various government mega-projects afterward.

.  Group 5                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Græntfjall                            10    9   0   1    26    8  +18    27
 2 Yuezhou                               10    5   4   1    33   21  +12    19
 3 Adab                                  10    5   4   1    26   17   +9    19
 4 Qasden                                10    5   3   2    13   10   +3    18
 5 Ceni                                  10    5   2   3    20   16   +4    17
 6 Kirungabi                             10    4   2   4    16   13   +3    14
 7 Gyatso-Kai                            10    4   2   4    17   19   −2    14
 8 Stevencousin                          10    3   3   4    21   23   −2    12
 9 Natanians and Nosts                   10    4   0   6    11   21  −10    12
10 Dod Rava                              10    1   4   5    12   17   −5     7
11 Canadian Dominion                     10    2   0   8    20   27   −7     6
12 Talamia                               10    0   2   8    12   35  −23     2

MD 09::: Stevencousin 5–5 Yuezhou
Stadium:: Federal Unity Stadium
Attendence:: 81,829
Stevencousin Scorer:: Gerard Kallstrom ֎ min. 12, 49, 80, Leon Voloshyn ֎ min. 66 & 72
Yuezhou:: Liu Huiying ֎ min. 22, 51, Jiang Jieren ֎ min. 58, 86, & 89

MD 10::: Ceni 1-2 Stevencousin
Stadium:: Westgreen Park Stadium
Capacity:: 42,500
Ceni:: Adrián del Toro ֎ min. 77
Stevencousin Scorer:: Thanuka Jayamanna ֎ min. 10 & Gerard Kallstrom ֎ min. 59

NEXT MATCH
MD	GAME                                	STADIUM           	CITY         	SPONSORSHIP
MD11	Stevencousin v. Talamia             Federal Unity Stadium      Cassaholm	Glenwolf Trading
MD12	Graintfjall v. Stevencousin         Grander International Arena Háttmark        [50,001]

Fernandes
Aas - Bernstein - Mjelde - Dahl
Zubar (C) 
Snajdr -  Jayamanna (VC) -  Saifi
Voloshyn - Kallstrom

by **Krytenia** » Thu Feb 16, 2023 5:33 pm

C'mon And Do The Conger
By Rami Niblick in Emberton

I BELIEVE the correct term is "coupon-buster". It's one from the circles of the betting industry, and describes a result that absolutely screws over an accumulator bet for the majority of punters due to the favourites crapping their own pants. It's particularly relevant in this case thanks to the favourites in question famously wearing brown, of course. A Turori side yet to drop so much as a point in qualifying came to the Isserson to face a team fresh from a disappointing two-all draw in Inkwellistan...and left with precisely nothing to show for it.

Much of the talk leading up to the game has been about the long history between the two sides. What hasn't been mentioned much, though, is how one-sided that history has been. Krytenia and Turori had met thirteen times prior to last night's encounter, with the Eels winning eight of them, including five of the last six. Krytenia, meanwhile, had only won two of those thirteen encounters. Add that to the fact that Turori are, according to the stats, the third-best team in the multiverse, and you can see why the money men weren't exactly falling over themselves to back the sky blue.

The opening exchanges seemed to back them up in this regard, as it was Turori who dominated the early tempo of the game. Veteran manager Tarek Edgeli has a well-drilled squad at their disposal, and this was in evidence as the Eels maintained possession and stood behind the jab, patiently waiting for the holes to open up. It's a tactic that has served the team from the Vilitan Cove well, and it was in evidence here as Savannah Quinn and Scott Stringer were starved of their usual oxygen of having the ball at their respective feet. Unfortunately for Turori, the defence was holding firm, with the flexible midfield line adding extra numbers to keep the tide of brown shirts at arms' length. That's not to say Turori didn't create anything, just that the likes of Sonny Chiesa and Robert Gorman were letting practically nothing past them. The first twenty minutes essentially saw the Eels camped about thirty-five yards from Amanda Bach's goal, playing the ball around without being able to create any meaningful penetration. Nua'oma Aikiki did have a chance shortly after the quarter-hour, shooting straight at Bach under pressure from Gorman, but that was about the limit of what they could achieve as Krytenia played some unusually defensive football, deciding discretion should be the better part of valour and concentrating on not falling behind and thus being forced to chase the game against an ostensibly superior opponent.

Krytenia did, however, start to get into the game as the first half progressed. BXE had decided that the potential vulnerable spot for their opponents was out wide, and so when Krytenia's defenders did get the ball, they looked to spray it out wide. Stephen Lorimer, preferred over the tempremental David Green, shored things up on the left, linking well with Owen Haller and letting the Reds winger utilise the space ahead; across the field, meanwhile, Justin Darcy and Liam Hayes looked to create something on the opposite flank. Though this did leave a few more spaces at the back for players like Aikiki and Turakia Diijelhma to work in, it also allowed the Dragons to put pressure on the opposing defence. That led to what can be best described as an eye-opener for the Eels' back line on thirty-eight minutes when Hayes whipped a venomous cross into the box. Sadly for the home side, though, it wasn't quite close enough to Mark Petracchi for the forward to get a clean contact, and his touch only served to guide the ball into the hands of Turori goalkeeper Derizi Amatopa. As it was, the game would remain goalless until the half-time whistle blew.

BXE clearly decided during the half-time break that it was time to bring the game to their opponents a little more, and it was Krytenia who started the second half a more positive and rejuvenated side. Rather than sticking behind the ball, the Dragons returned to their more familiar press, looking for chinks in the chocolate-coloured armour. Turori, however, are a side that don't panic when on the back foot, and they played a constricting game of their own. Sure, Quinn and Stringer could come into the game more, but the more useful balls were well and truly covered by Eels defenders. Petracchi found himself having to work deeper than he would like, leaving poor Angus Jack a lonely figure up front, drowning in a sea of brown shirts. Turori, too, were also keen to remind the Krytenians that they weren't going to be content with a draw, and almost took the lead when Moumouni Verre'elali initiated a quick counter-attack with an incisive pass; sadly for the visitors, though, Bach was alive to the danger, narrowing the angle quickly and blocking Diijelhma's shot before Gorman thumped the rebound out of play for a throw.

As it often turns out in tight games like this, a single moment would change the tide of the game. A hopeful Hayes ball to Petracchi finally found the forward in a dangerous position, with Amakli Inuro'o in close attention; too close, as it turned out, as the experienced defender clipped the Krytenian's ankle to concede a penalty. Jack stepped up to the spot, and buried his kick into the bottom-left corner of the net. Amatopa, sadly, had guessed the wrong direction; that said, the penalty was hit well enough that it probably wouldn't have mattered either way.

Lesser teams may have folded at this point, but Turori are absolutely not lesser teams. Conceding the goal simple redoubled their efforts to score one of their own, and they came close more than once. Inuro'o, looking to rectify the mistake that had led to the Krytenian goal, rattled the bar with a powerful header from a Kinabo Telioa free-kick, whilst Aikiki somehow managed to fail to get their name on the scoresheet again when Chiesa booted the Cednia Beach striker's effort off the line. Clearly, Krytenia would need a second to kill off the chance of an Eels revival, and that opportunity presented itself six minutes from full time. Jack turned provider this time, shielding the ball from Karek Edgeli before laying off for substitute Greg Williams to smash home a low drive to secure the points.

The win will certainly be celebrated, but it leaves the Dragons in the agonising position of fourth place, level on points and goal difference with Baker Park but behind them thanks to that three-nil reverse earlier in the campaign. There is a crumb of comfort though. Remember I said Krytenia had only beaten Turori twice? Well, both of those wins came in the same qualifying campaign, all the way back in World Cup 32. History repeating would be very welcome, but the Dragons need to make sure of points in the meantime. That starts with their next two games; put simply, there's no room for error against Montaña Verde and the CRC. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 2
Jack 66 (pen)
Williams 85

TURORI - 0
- no scorers -

by **Srubnaya culture** » Thu Feb 16, 2023 5:38 pm

Srubnaya News Association Special News Broadcast World Cup XCIII

Team record 5-1-4/ 6th seed ⬇

Political News
While the Peace talks have reached a standstill, it was agreed by both sides to allow larger exports of grain to other countries. Which means that Srubnayan ports would finally be opened back up for nations across the world. This means that the navy will be put on high alert again for possible pirates or breaches of the treaty

Game 9 The Licentian Isles 3–3 Srubnaya Culture ( 5-1-3 )

The demoralized Srubnaya team was stagnant in the first half even allowing 3 shots within the first 45 minutes. However in the second half they picked up the slack and managed to score to more goals in order to tie up the game, fighting their way back from a 2 goal deficit however in overtime the enemy goalie blocked a shot attempt from Chersonesus Lapadasues which saved Licentian from loosing the match.

Highlights:
-Uxtamazata Neapolis scores a chipshot at 18'
-Amatticus Saulius using the dummy shot to score at 53'
-Sakā Armesius scoring a header off of an assist from Chersonesus Lapadasues to stop Srubnaya from losing the game at 88'

Game 10 Srubnaya Culture 1–2 Juvencus (5-1-4)
This game once more was a defensive battle that ended with the enemey team having more in the tank than Srubnaya. Both teams managed to pass the ball around well and possession time was split 49-51 with Juvencus having the advantage there. Its possible that this advantage won them the game as the final goal came at 89' from their striker Joao Pereyra after a successful header from a corner kick pass.

Hightlights:
-Amatticus Saulius scored a header after a well-placed pass from Uxtamazata Neapolis at 57'

A call from the Owner of Srubnaya FC

"We cant go another cutoff like this. If we do, we won't be in the tournament much longer."

The owner said into the phone. He sounded worried because if Srubnaya couldn't make the knockout the funding would collapse

"Yes sir, It seems the hotels we've been sent to for away games has left our players, drained. Maybe for the next game some better accommodations will get their spirits up. I've also arranged for some family visits to boost morale aswell. I am sure this is a morale problem and not a skill problem. We simply need their players rested up and reverberated in order to get their spirits back in shape. Their conditioning and skill are high so there isn't much else we can do if that doesn't work."

Vladimir Ivanov replied.

" I can arrange that, however the new stadium is going to be where you play next, we need to put on a good performance for at least one of the two games. Its said that a record number of people are going to be in this stadium and weve wasted a lot of money on development already."

This news shook Vladimir to his core. With the way the team was currently playing it was possible that the goal of winning 6 games at minimum would be missed, which would be horrible for his salary and that of the players. However there was the saving grace of everyone in the srubnaya club having rested the entire day. Their morale had improved dramatically due to the family visits and the news of playing at home, which meant they would finally get decent living conditions.

"How many more matches do we have Ivanov?" the Owner asked.

"2 more I believe sir" Vladimir Ivanov replied.

"We need to win at least one of those. If not im going to be forced to pull the milestone rewards and put them into your salaries and other expenses. Which means you wouldn't get extra money. You need to convince the players to play their hardest, okay?" The Owner continued.

"Yes sir" Vladimir replied.

With this new information, the training regiments and other small details would be rearranged while the new stadium would not only soon be registered to the team info page officially. A 78,000-capacity stadium closer inland. Many people were excited to not need to travel to Russia for their soccer now, and the Russian president Vladimir Putin congratulated Srubnaya for their new achievement.

by **Stevencousin** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:49 am

NATIONAL ECHO

The Army is strengthened by the presence of Outlaw

MRAP-441A1 Outlaw

Greyford Tactical Ltd of Stevencousin has been awarded a contract to supply 76 Outlaw MRAPs for use by Stevencousin's ground forces starting later this year. CEO Greyford Tactical Ltd, Dr. Sebastius Vadicrux confirmed it to us in a short SMS reply earlier today. He however refused to comment on the controversy of the sale of the Rearguard MRAP to the Thiothard National Army. Stevencousin is seen as the main supplier of military equipment worth billions of dollars to the country ruled by the Military Junta, which has minerals such as gold and diamonds in addition to uranium. The contract is very beneficial for the country but it also brings a big conflict against the neighboring countries, especially Khantari, which never recognized the independence of Thiothard which used to be part of the Khantari Nation. The assassination of the Khantari-appointed Governor by the separatist faction later announced that they would leave the Khantari Federation and form their own country.

Outlaw is a Mine resistant ambush-protected vehicle (MRAP). It is the 6x6 version. Outlaw aims to operate in areas, where the threat of mines is high. It can carry troops and cargo under armor. Outlaw has a modular design. Various interchangeable mission modules can be installed, so the Outlaw can be customized for example as a troop carrier, command post vehicle, or armored ambulance. Outlaw armor provides protection for crew and passengers against small arms fire and artillery shell fragments. The vehicle also has a V-shaped hull and provides protection against mine blasts and improvised explosive devices. In its baseline troop carrier configuration, the Outlaw is manned by a crew of 2, including a commander and driver, and holds around 16 passengers. The Outlaw can be armed with a variety of weapons. It can be fitted with a sheltered position for a 12.7 mm heavy machine gun, or alternatively a 35 mm automatic grenade launcher. Also, this vehicle can be fitted with a remote control weapon station or various missiles. The Outlaw armored vehicle is powered by a turbocharged diesel engine, producing 432 hp. The engine is located behind the cab. It is mated to an automatic transmission. The Outlaw has an unusual wheel layout, which allows for even distribution of the weight of the engine and the armored cab. The vehicle has a 6x6 configuration with full-time all-wheel drive. The Outlaw is fitted with a central tire inflation system.

Other News
- WCQ93: Kallstrom tops the nation's leading scorers
- WCQ93: The national team's winning rate is very worrying, said a former national player
- Khantari Navy Frigate detected in Thiothard waters - Defense Attache of Stevencousin to Thiothard
- The Minister of Defense's visit to Thiothard was canceled, no reason given
- Glenwolf Trading will be handing out free WoW branded orange flavored drinks during the national team's match against Talamia tomorrow

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 4:01 am

Jeruselem manager Faye Swift and a pregnant Princess Stella after the game is over when they beat Tjorl at Dazza Dallas Stadium.

Faye: Well, I'm glad that's over. I was getting concerned about losing today against Tjorl but turns out they were nothing to worry about.
Stella: Why is that?
Faye: Well, Tjorl did beat The Cordian Isles 6-2 last game so it does mean they are capable of being very destructive
Stella: But it turns out they didn't score a single goal today
Faye: I guess it just means our defense doesn't suck as badly as the one from The Cordian Isles. I guess a 2-0 win is fine.
Stella: We haven't always had a working defense in the World Cup, most of the time it can be iffy.

Faye: I didn't get the other results for today, my phone has a flat battery.
Stella: How old is that phone?
Faye: Probably too old, the battery dies a lot.
Stella: So why don't you go replace the battery?
Faye: I can't, I have to get someone else to do that. The battery is kinda sealed in a bad way.
Stella: You didn't answer my question ...

Faye: Oh and it's too old to find parts for it
Stella: Well, just get another one. A phone with a dead battery is called a brick.
Faye: Anyway ... what's the results. Where's your sister? Isn't she supposed to be working.
Stella: I gave her the day off, she works hard ... compared to some people. I don't mind working there today, I love being here.
Faye: You just like showing off that baby bump
Stella: Well, let's see. We won 2-0 over Tjorl, but not that we didn't know that one. Sylestone beat The Cordian Isles 3-0, the The Cordian Isles defense must be awful if Sylestone can score 3 against them. Quakmybush drew 2-2 with Rouyoute, good to see Quakmybush getting a point there. Gran Saguaro beat Bongo Johnson 3-2. They aren't doing too badly. Eura lost to New Gelderland 1-0. Kandorith beat Osarius 1-0.

Faye: So Eura lost at home and Kandorith barely beat Osarius. Oh yes, Eura lost to New Gelderland ... who are the only team who have beaten us.
Stella: Well, we managed a draw with Kandorith at home 1-1 last game. So we've drawn with the top 2 seeds but cannot beat New Gelderland as yet.
Faye: We'll run into New Gelderland pretty soon anyway
Stella: Good thing we beat Tjorl then
Faye: What's up with Eura, they lost 4-3 to Osarius as well.
Stella: I get the feeling we're the only top 3 seed who could qualify now

Faye: Say, what's the table look like?
Stella: New Gelderland lead the table, they lead the table when we drew with Kandorith 1-1. They have 8 wins and 24 points. Jeruselem are still 2nd on 23 points, we have 7 wins but only one loss. Tjorl and Sylestone are 3th and 4th on 21 points with 21 points. Kandorith 5th on 18 and Eura 6th on 17, 5 wins each. Gran Saguaro are 7th on 16 points, also with 5 wins.
Faye: So our real rivals are now New Gelderland, Tjorl and Sylestone.
Stella: Looks like it

Faye: Next is Osarius, the same team we will play in the last game.
Stella: The team that beat Eura 4-3.
Faye: I'm not worried about them, it's Sylestone who seem to be a little too close to us. We play them after that.
Stella: I guess we're doing alright, 1 loss so far isn't something people to complain about.
Faye: Two draws but they were with two teams would beat us.
Stella: We're on track still.

Faye: Say, how our friends Quebec doing?
Stella: Oh them, they are in Group 2. They are leading the table! But it's rather close they have 22 points with ... two others on 22, one on 20, two on 18 and one on 16.
Faye: That's a little close
Stella: But they are leading the table! By a fingernail.
Faye: So we're in the same situation where there's no room for error.
Stella: Yeah

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 4:35 am

Nobody had been sure if the deal was actually a real one: The guy who scores the winning goal against Valentine Z gets to re-smash the recently reconstructed Glass Swan Trophy that the Under 21 team had won - and duly dropped - centuries ago. Either way, we all acted as if it was a real deal that was actually going to happen. It influenced the creation of our choreographed goal celebration routine, imaginatively titled "The Celebration"

"The Celebration" was a stupid idea, but sometimes stupid ideas are worth doing. We'd agreed before-hand: anyone getting the winner, or at least a late goal in a win, should do The Celebration. I'd scored the first, a wee tap-in following a spilled shot, Hielscher-Zendagorta had smashed in number two on forty minutes, skinning a defender and rifling in a low shot that the Valentian keeper Ngọc couldn't get down in time for. The game wasn't won with these goals, but it certainly was in the ninety-first minute when, latching onto Trigintillion's diagonal ball, I took a touch and slid a finish inside the near post for 3-0. Cue The Celebration. I bound over to the corner flag, produce an enormous imaginary mallet ("make it look heavy!" Yuriyorkis had said. "You've got to sell the weight of the imaginary hammer or people won't get it!"), struggle to get it over my head, see out of the corner of my eye three or four team-mates approach behind me, swing the imaginary mallet down onto the imaginary test-your-strength carnival machine, making sure to jump in the air from a squatting position as I did so, and then, as one, we all shield our eyes from the (also imaginary) sun as we watch the (also also imaginary) ball rise high into the sky.

We should have cleared it with the stadium first so that the tannoy would go 'ding', but we hadn't thought that far ahead. Instead, the tannoy simply announces: Goalscorer for Audioslavia, Number Ten, Heeeelliiiiooooooooooooooooooooooos

And the crowd bellow as one.

ROY!

--

The Project Sports Museum. The old Under 21 World Cup Trophy in front of me. The Infamous Glass Swan. The cameras are on me and my mallet once more, but this time the mallet is one of the more common 'extant' variety.

I'd asked Obadele about this before. "Are there more existant mallets than non-existant, imaginary mallets?" and he'd said - after first telling Archer Flat to stop swearing at how angry my question had made him - that of course there were, because all imaginary mallets cease to become countable when they're not being imagined, because there are only so many cultural interpretations of what a mallet is: Wooden with a square wooden head, wooden with a rectangular metal head, sledge-hammery ones, big foamy ones from old kids TV shows, everyone in the multiverse dipped into a proverbial barrel containing a finite number of mallet archetypes whenever they wanted to imagine wielding a mallet, and the mallet returned once they'd put the imaginary mallet down (or, if you're a cretin, ceasing to imagine the non-existent mallet before you'd put it down) so there were only really a few hundred imaginary mallets in existence, while tangible mallets numbered in the tens of thousands at least.

Archer Flat hadn't liked this explanation. Between our arrival at the Project Sports Museum - me, Archer Flat, Obadele Volonte, Marc-Antoine Trigintillion and manager Ager Alaba - and the moment I'd been given the mallet, Obadele and Archer had been having a verbal set-to.

"You have to put the mallet down" Obadele had said. "Let's say you pick one up so you can imagine smashing this imaginary pumpkin" he'd said, pointing down at the ground where, at least to me, an imagnary pumpkin now sat pumpkinly. Obadele reached down, picked up what looked to be a comically heavy mallet, and prepared to bring it down on the sad pumpkin.
"This is fuckin ridiculous, what the fuck are you lot on" Archer had said.
"Just watch" Obadele had said, using every fibre of his body to bring the mallet down onto the imaginary pumpkin. I watched bits of imaginary pumpkin fly off across all directions, so I naturally took a step back, widened my arms, looked down, waggled my hands a bit like I was shaking off some goo from each.
"Dude" I'd said. Obadele had nodded an apology and begun wiping imaginary pumpkin from his trousers with his left hand, while speaking to Archer.
"Now observe: Now that I've used the imaginary mallet, I'm going to put it down on the ground. Because I can't go around carrying an imaginary mallet around a museum, can I?"
"The mallet doesn't fuckin exist you dick!" sprayed Archer, incredulous, at this point just an animated cartoon frowny face. "It doesn't matter what you fuckin do with it if it isn't a fuckin... it"
"C'mon Archer" I'd said. "It's a human thing. Probably more accurately a masculine thing. An unspoken telepathy between men. Look" I'd said, reaching to where Obadele had put the imaginary mallet and using all my strength to just about manage to wield it. I spun around in a circle and hit Obadele as hard as I could in the stomach with the mallet.
Naturally, Obadele collapsed to the floor holding his tummy, struggling for breath.
"Ow!" he said dramatically. "You'll pay for that! You'll pay for that with your life!" he said, and produced an imaginary gun from his pocket. I got as far as an "Oh sh.." before Obadele signalled my death with a Pmffff and I confirmed it with a heugh! and a slow-motion pratfall to the floor.
Archer had looked down at us, splayed out on the shiny floor of a quiet museum. He looked completely and utterly disgusted.
"You two are mental"
"Watch" said Obadele, before turning towards a nearby door. "Oi! Shiny!"
Marc-Antoine Trigintillion walked through the door a few seconds later, looking unsurely at the bodies of Obadele and me on the floor, with Archer and his frowny face folding his arms and staring a hole in Marc-Antoine.
"Think fast" I said, producing an imaginary grenade, pulling the imaginary pin out with my teeth, and throwing it in slow-motion at Marc-Antoine.
It took him maybe point four of a second to realise what was happening. He watched the arc of the grenade, caught it, threw it up in the air as far as he could, produced an arrow from a conveniently located imaginary quiver on his back, nocked it on his imaginary bow, took a second to aim upwards, loosed his arrow, and joined Obadele and me in grimacing with his fingers in his ears at the inevitable explosion.

"Er, boys?" came a voice from the other side of the room. It was that of the gaffer, Ager Alaba
"Boys is the fuckin word, these cunts are mental" Archer flat had said
"Dude, you can't hear him" Obadele had retorted, "you went deaf in the explosion"
"Didn't have your fingers in your ears" I'd continued.

Back to now, and the actual extant mallet, and the glass swan in front of me.
"What if people like the swan?" I asked
"Maybe they do" said a journalist. "Hit it anyway"
"It was rebuilt using an AI in under 24 hours" said one of the museum's curator's. "I don't doubt an AI could just do it again if we wanted to"
"Make a thing out of it" said the journalist. "Every time you win, someone smashes the swan"
"Dunno how I feel about that" said Obadele, biting his nails absent-mindedly in the background. "Seems cruel to the swan"
"Oh get all the way fucked" said Archer, standing next to him. "It's a glass swan it's not fuckin real"
"You're not human" said Obadele. "You feel nothing for the swan"
"Oh man" I said. "You're going to make me feel guilty, stop it"
"I'm just saying" said Obadele. "Say you take a rock that's been sitting there for a hundred million years, untouched. You pick it up, you drive to the sea, you throw it in, and now it's going to wear away much quicker. That the rock could feel... nothing... doesn't sit right with me"
"You gonna be upset if he smashes this swan, your fuckin mate here"
"No" said Obadele. "Just put those goggles over your eyes, Helios, bruv"
"Right" I said, bringing the mallet down to my heel while I adjusted the goggles. The swan looked up at me through eyeless eyes and centuries of history, communicating its desire to remain a swan after so long being a pile of nothing. The museum curator readjusted the net that surrounded it - a safety precaution to make sure the mess stayed in one place - fixed his own goggles, and gave me the 'nod'.
After a few seconds, I realized I might not be able to do it.
"Can we blindfold the swan?" I asked
"It's got no fuckin eyes you fuckin clown" said Archer, behind me.
"Aha!" said Obadele. "You mean if it had eyes, it could see"
"Get all the way to..."
I brought the mallet down rather than listen to Archer complain again. I tried to tell myself the swan felt nothing after its brief fortnight-long return from the death was ended so violently and abruptly.

I tried not to feel guilty. I mean, if I can't murder the statue of a swan, I can't very well deal a double-header of away-days at StrayaRoos and Squornshelous, could I?

by **Baggieland** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 7:16 am

A New Journey

Øystein returned to the bay after his excursion to the quaint little town.

Øystein: "Hey Hannah, I got everything on the shopping list. Also, check this out: I got felt hats and sunscreen for everyone. You can never have enough protection from the sun's harmful rays."

Hannah: "Oh well done Øystein, that was good thinking. I'm sure the surfers will love these felt hats."

Gilbert: "Dude, this hat makes me look like a cowboy… cool!"

Øystein: "Here's the cat food. I wasn't sure which flavour to get, but it was the picture of the cute dolphins that sold this brand to me. I'm sure it will be to Sam's liking."

Hannah: "Gordon Bennett Øystein! Didn't you read the label? It says 'Tuna flavoured cat food, made from real dolphins'. This is about as unethical as you can get! Don't you care about these sorts of things anymore? Oh well… did you find out about maritime navigation?"

Øystein: "Sure, I got this map."

Hannah: "ØYSTEIN ØYE! We already have maps! There's a whole drawer full of them onboard the submarine – you were supposed to learn how to read them!"

Gilbert: "Dude, what's that weird flying thingy just over there?

Killer Bob: "Oh no! That's one of the Lodge's probe droids. We need to shoot it down, Øye come with me to the deck gun."

Øystein: "I've never shot that thing before."

Killer Bob: "It's the same as shooting a rifle, just bigger. You remember shooting Bambi, don't you? Okay, I've loaded the shell, aim and shoot it down Øye."

Øystein: "Damn, I missed. I need some snuff. *SNIFF* Achoo!"

Gilbert: "Good shooting Dude!"

Killer Bob: "Right, we need to get out of Electrum as quickly as possible, that droid has probably already sent out our location to the Lodge. Øye, take us to Esportiva first, we need to pick up some diesel otherwise we'll never make it to Baggieland before we run out of juice."

Gilbert: "45 degrees again, Captain Dude?"

Øystein: "Umm… yeah, possibly."

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 9:39 am

First in the group, three point gap to Quebec and Shingoryeo and the Ochre Islands, and the next match is a team that's never played in the World Cup qualifiers before - even if a team has played international football prior to this, experience tells us that that rarely translates over to the elite stage of the WCQs - and has seemingly clocked out in multiple games so far. We have some names alongside some video to work with - so what's the verdict from our experts at the table. The Harry Islands, do they have any shot against the Green and Blue? Here to answer the question are Nathan Didier, ex-Aminey, and Philip Odell, ex-Alara. Nathan?

ND: They have no chance. The Dragonflies are playing some of their best football after a bit of a rough start and it's all according to the playbook that we've all seen a dozen times before. Bad start, questions about leadership, a sudden resurgence, and then steamrolling to the World Cup. Eleven straight qualifiers, here we come!

PO: Inclined to agree here. 0-0 to Naixi is regrettable but not terrible, don't forget just what kind of a development they've gone through. I mean, even Ko-orenite viewers have picked Naixi in group 2 over us in 65% of Fantasy picks, and the international audience of the game are even more pro-Naixi. 0-0 is, well, you know, K0-0ren. It's what we do sometimes.

Sorry?

PO: K0-0ren. You know, uhh, Kzerozeroren.

Not sure I follow.

PO: The way they joke about us abroad? Kaynilnilren? Kzero'allren?

Kay-number zero-dash-number zero-'ren'?

PO: The very same.

I've seen it in headlines...

PO: Never realised how horribly it translates to the spoken word. Either way, before that it's seven straight wins going back all the way to aforementioned start of horror versus Quebec.

Any predictions for the scoreline?

ND: 2-0? 3-0?

PO: Given the clean sheets, definitely 2-0, 3-0, maybe 4-0.

by **HUElavia** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 11:02 am

Ancherion 1–0 HUElavia
(Kaur 63' (P))

Milchama 0–1 HUElavia
(Aveiro 90+2')

Down But Not Out!

HUElavia drops points but earns a historic upset over Milchama to maintain contention in the Qualifiers!

Once again, another set of matches have come and go during these qualifiers, where HUElavia has competed over 44% of the qualifiers. This time, it was two away games, at Ancherion and Milchama, the latter being a must-win for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos. The team and fans knew they had to make the most of what they could to get what they could in the matches.

The first match was a dull one that left HUElavia reeling from another upset to the hands of Ancherion in yet another World Cup Qualifiers. Despite chances from the likes of Amezcua, Xuan and Takeda, the goalkeeping skills of Hassen kept HUElavia from scoring a goal that could have ended the rough stretch the team had during these qualifiers on the road. Unfortunately, in the 63rd minute an accidental handball by Fraser was called by the referee via a review through VAR and Kaur stepped up to send Petit the wrong way with the ball in the goal, making it 1-0, and the Ancherion crowd went wild at the lead. Despite chances from HUElavia, they could not get something going, and at the end, it was another loss on the road, giving HUElavia a slip into 5th place.

The next match at Milchama was a fight for survival. Both teams were not giving up on chances, taking shots here and there with Casillas and Entersher making saves left and right to keep any balls from going into their respective goals. It was looking like it would end in a scoreless draw and another set of points dropped for HUElavia when in the 90+2nd minute, a foul by Hunter (in for Elkenstall) over Amezcua gave way for a free kick 28 yards out. Aveiro stepped up and sent the shot over the wall, past the fingertips of Entersher and hit the crossbar to ricochet into the goal, making it 0-1. The crowd was silenced while Aveiro ran to the corner flag, being mobbed by his teammates and the bench in celebration as the team got some very valuable 3 points that kept the team in the hunt for the Playoffs.

After 10 matches, Savigliane sit in 1st place with 26 Points (8-2-0), Xanneria in 2nd place with 24 Points (8-0-2, +16 GD), Milchama in 3rd place with 24 Points (8-0-2, +11 GD), and HUElavia in 4th place with 18 Points (6-0-4). HUElavia will be hosting home matches against Gortolekua and Aust Scor next, where the team will be looking to go for full points and make the most of their matches, trying to overcome the 6 Point gap between them and both 2nd and 3rd place. It is a rough road ahead for the 2nd half of the qualifiers, but with the historic upset over Milchama, there is hope that the team can rebound and stay in contention deep into the remaining rounds. Here's to hoping what could be an exciting comeback.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Flavovespia** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 11:29 am

The next part of This is Flavovespia looks at Channels 5 to 7, as well as an overview of some of the prominent channels that are subscription based, or available via satellite TV.

FTV2

FTV2 is the second terrestrial channel of FTV. As the secondary channel of the FTV network, it rarely gets the premier shows, especially in primetime hours, however that’s not to say it’s had no hits. It’s programming focus has tended towards documentaries, softer dramas, and cookery and secondary quiz shows. Between 6am-10am and 3pm-5pm, it is also linked up with the children’s TV channel, FTVC, to broadcast content aimed at younger viewers. FTV2’s particularly popular shows at the moment include the quiz show KnowItAll, where to win the top prize, contestants must get a question right in each of 10 categories, Timeless Travels, a travel documentary series famed for James Earley’s light-hearted, yet respectful hosting style, and Dana, a time piece series set on a fictional coastal village.

Rarely does it broadcast much football, however it has occasionally been used during major tournaments, if there are many concurrent games. FTV2 has in the past however held some broadcasting of lower league games, although this practice was ended 5 seasons ago when the new TV broadcasting rights package came in, and all live football moved to FTV1.

ICTV2

Introduced to terrestrial TV alongside FTV2, ICTV2 is the ICTV equivalent, although it takes a different programming approach. A channel aimed more towards 16-40 year old viewers, it’s more of an entertainment and celebrity channel. Panel shows, comedy events, and TV series about being young adults are commonplace. Reception is mixed on the channel, the sitcom Normal Students receiving critical acclaim for its comedic yet reflective look at student life, but it’s various “famous for being famous” type reality TV shows are seen as lowbrow entertainment.

ICTV2 was never a big player in broadcasting games. However, it’s infamous as one of the channels ex-pros who fancy themselves as a bit of a TV personality inevitably end up on. It hosts the show Football Funnies, containing clips of football bloopers in the past few weeks, along with some celebrity panellists, and a couple of challenges. It’s somewhat considered a poor imitation of Friday Football Fever, but is nevertheless well liked.

7TV

TV7 is the newest and final main terrestrial channel, launched in 0U after a bidding process for a seventh main channel. Unsurprisingly that’s where the name TV7 cones from, occupying Channel 7 of TV’s and satellite boxes. A commercial TV channel, TV7 has for the most part struggled somewhat to gain the prominence that FTV, ICTV and UTV have. It formed not long before the era of satellite TV, offering many more channels, really took off in Flavovespia. TV7 was relatively successful in purchasing the rights to movies and international TV dramas, but has struggled to create major in house hits. 100 Days was it’s most successful show, a reality TV show where contestants had to live together for 100 days, winning challenges to improve their living accommodation, food and luxuries, however the show waned in interest for becoming a platform to minor celebrity status and overly dramatic contestants.

TV7 has never been particularly active in broadcasting football in Flavovespia. Instead it’s tended to focus on lesser sports in Flavovespia, such as cricket, field hockey, netball and rugby Union. TV7 is often the broadcaster for these tournaments, and other minor sports. It’s carved out a small, but growing market in those sports, and will also broadcast international tournaments of other sports, even if Flavovespia don’t enter.

Other TV Channels

As well as the main 7 terrestrial channels, many others are commonly watched across Flavovespia, although some require subscription based services. Here are some of the most watched, significant or otherwise noteworthy channels in Flavovespia.

ICTV Sports 1

The premium sports channel of Flavovespia, which requires subscription or a day pass to watch. It’ll usually show several Flavovespian League games each week, as well as IFCF games, and often other international leagues for which it’s brought the rights (in particular Anaian leagues or leagues containing Flavovespians). Whilst the commercialisation of football is criticised, it has given the leagues, clubs and players more money, and opened up Flavovespian audiences to a more global game.

ICTV Drama

ICTV Drama is a paid channel that, as the name suggests, focuses largely on TV dramas. Whilst there’s a collection of Flavovespian based dramas, the most popular Flavovespian shows tend to end up on the free to air ICTV1, then repeated here. ICTV Drama however is the channel that own the rights to several popular dramas from other nations. However it’s broadcasting content quality can be a bit up and down, and down periods have frustrated viewers.

FTVI

FTVI is the International channel owned by state broadcaster FTV. Whilst domestically broadcast in Flavovespia, it’s unsurprisingly watched by few when in Flavovespia. However FTVI is primarily aimed at Flavovespians living or simply travelling outside of Flavovespia. Content tends to include news, documentaries and the most popular FTV1 shows at the time, but is also used to provide an FTV stream of Flavovespia National Team games where allowed.

FTVP

The political channel of FTV. It broadcasts coverage from the Flavovespian Parliament, as well as the 10 regional Parliaments. There’s also a Daily Politics round up show, and some phone-ins. Outside of any particularly interesting political goings on, this channel receives limited attention. It can also cover international politics, in the right circumstances.

FTVC

The children’s TV channel of FTV. Broadcasting from 6am to 8pm, it’s been a part of the lives of children and parents for many years, with generations of Flavovespians often discussing and debating what “their” FTVC shows were. Whilst rival channels exists, it’s generally acknowledged that FTVC has got the best content by far in this corner of the market.

CINE1

A subscription based channel, CINE1 is the main channel of the CINE network. CINE is one of the first to get TV rights to movies once they’ve ceased to run in the cinema in Flavovespia. The pricing model is considered somewhat steep for what is available, and has at times faced a battle both with piracy, and the rise of internet and other streaming services.

NovaTele

Flavovespia’s only channel to focus specifically on broadcasting content not in English. Popular with immigrant communities in Flavovespia, especially when NovaTele picks up the rights to shows from their home nation, it can also be used as a languages learning device for Flavovespians. Occasionally a channel that produces a real ratings hit in Flavovespia, despite the language barrier and use of subtitling.

VantagePoint

A free to air, non-fictional TV channel. It mostly broadcasts documentaries, travel shows, and history shows, both from Flavovespian producers and from abroad. It’s not many people’s first choice of channel, but it is popular daytime TV and for people looking for quieter shows, and was one of the first non-main terrestrial channels.

TVAnaia

First established when Flavovespia moved to the Anaia region, this free to air channel focuses on Anaia related content. From popular shows in Anaian nations, to a news broadcast from Anaia, and minor sports coverage from Anaia nations, TVAnaia is the source of that. There’s a reasonable level of interest in the channel, especially from Anaian immigrants or Flavovespians with heritage from other Anaia nations. However TVAnaia doesn’t have the budget for the big bucks shows that other channels bid for the rights for.

Slam!

Slam! (yes, they really do emphasise the exclamation mark in their name), has something of an infamous reputation for “trash TV”. From picking up shows that other networks dropped, to a platform for lower list celebrities, to just poorly thought out ideas, it’s rare a year goes by without Slam! causing some sort of controversy. However, it is free to air, and has an almost “so bad it’s good” reputation, especially its late evening shows on Fridays and weekends.

by **Nephara** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:11 pm

Varavel 0 - 2 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 2 - Rake (17 - Levering 74'), 5 - Roback, 6 - Scales, 25 - Xu; 4 - Southsea, 15 - Constantine (19 - Rosziter 58'), 26 - Kvasina; 13 - Brewer, 21 - Vetiver (14 - Balmoral 83'), 11 - Loeher (16 - Hauser 74')
Goals: Brewer 42', Kvasina 81'

Srednjaci 0 - 1 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 2 - Rake, 18 - Copperhead, 6 - Scales (22 - Mitteager 89'), 25 - Xu (3 - Lind 77'); 24 - Sebold (4 - Southsea 77'), 19 - Rosziter, 8 - March; 13 - Brewer (7 - Anharbour 62'), 21 - Vetiver, 11 - Loeher
Goal: March 31'

FULL FLIGHT: THE DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF THE CORMORANTS
PART 7: The Incident
Geneva Schwarzer
Part 1: Dawn
Part 2: Breakthrough
Part 3: Shoulders of a Giant
Part 4: Before the Dawn
Part 5: Glory
Part 6: What Might Have Been

Amethyst Fegelein was the chosen one. She was meant to bring balance to the Cormorants, not destroy them. She arrived as perhaps the most feted manager in the game at that time, having taken a tight-knit Starling side from midtable in the First Division to a Premiership title season at 750/1 odds with a side projected to finish 14th, then a Premiership - Champions Cup double, then a Champions Cup final the year after. She did it all through intensive squad chemistry, a tremendous degree of buy-in and a lot of work on the training pitch... luxuries denied her in the on-again off-again confines of the national job.

It was a time of upheaval in Nephara as a whole, the nation securing its ties to Rushmore by successfully joining the CRC, in which it is now considered a core member. Around the same time, a long-standing campaign to make Corvistone the capital over Sabrefell passed easily in referendum. And, perhaps most striking of all, Gethin Ramsey was hospitalised at 79, and would succumb to illness within the year. The very fabric of the nation was changing.

It is often forgotten that Fegelein was in charge for Nephara's first Copa Rushmori. She had turned heads by dismissing many of the old guard who had won the World Cup. Malachite Scharner and Penumbra Amokachi, perhaps Nephara's best defender and striker at the time, who were not yet 30, were deigned not to have sufficient buy-in and 'rested' for the tournament; so, too, Scylla Vyntra, Igrene Cantor, Tanith Rainsford. Their replacements ran the gamut; Leona Rafford would reach a century of caps and fame and fortune in the National League, Estrella Hawke would retire as Nephara's top goalscorer... but the likes of Elsa Kaelin, Gudrun Crowley and Trajan Bruyne would never be mainstays, while Methuselah Tregajorran and Nevaeh Cathar, 21-year old children to famed strikers, would not reach the heights of the elder generation.

Copa Rushmori 2 started with a deeply uninspiring 2-1 defeat to the Great Pi, hardly a powerhouse of the game, but Nephara would recover to qualify for the knockouts, edging out Eastfield Lodge to reach the semifinals, and though beaten there by Valladares, beat Pridnestrovia on penalties to qualify for a bronze medal. A good start by any measure. After this, Nephara were drawn into in an intriguing and potentially dangerous group, with many titans and serious threats - Sargossa, Starblaydia and Darmen, though none at the peak of their powers - and up-and-comers in Yuezhou and Mercedini. But the nation who would write their names into the annals of notoriety would not by among this number, but lowly Tveidalen, ranked close to 300th.

A patchwork Nephara started Jason Petratos, Ursula Rowan, Raquel Naeher and Sigrun Rathskeller against Darmen, as Fegelein took her time to find a true winning XI, but there was a place yet again for Penumbra Amokachi. But after an uninspiring draw against Darmen and, worst of all, a 3-2 defeat to Tveidalen, both on home soil, the side swerved back to the tried-and-true. Vyntra, Rainsford and Scharner were back, like they hadn't left; Gideon Fletcher started between the posts, a third goalkeeper in four matches. Amokachi missed a penalty as they failed to beat Mercedini - five points in their opening four games, a disastrous start - but roared back with a hat-trick as they put Sargossa to the sword. Still, there was disorder behind the scenes. That missed penalty had not been Amokachi's to take, and Tanith Rainsford, the captain and regular penalty-taker, was eager to let her know about it.

The 4-0 win over Sargossa did not herald a turnaround. Victory against lowly Makongo followed, but then a draw against Starblaydia. Fegelein had earned a nickname, 'the Tinker', that morphed to the less flattering 'Tinkerbell' as results worsened. She switched to a 4-3-3 that dealt with a Yuezhou side far from the heights they would reach, then stuttered to another draw against Darmen, with Nephara's riotous away fans hurling coins and, infamously, a flare at goalkeeper Gideon Fletcher. They recovered to beat down St. Saratoga at home, surely the least they could do, before a visit to Tveidalen.

Vedran Tarashaj was sent off in the 23rd minute for a brutal challenge. Scharner, the 56th, for fighting an opposing striker. Amokachi and Rainsford the 78th, for fighting each other. Nephara lost 4-1. It would be Amethyst Fegelein's final match in charge, Nephara's shortest-serving manager, winning just ten of her twenty games - including a friendly against Cosumar, one of a few false dawns.

Bizarrely, despite this, what is often forgotten is that Nephara almost qualified anyway. Michael Brandon was thrown in interim charge, and though his side, wracked by suspension and subject to hurled abuse and rocks and fruit from a home crowd turned completely toxic, overturned a 3-1 half-time deficit against Mercedini to a heroic 5-4 win. Nephara closed out their campaign with wins over Makongo, Starblaydia and Yuezhou. All that stopped them was Sargossa, who earned a dire scoreless draw to ultimately lock Nephara out of the playoffs, continuing the long-running history of the two sides brutalising each other in high-pressure occasions.

Michael Brandon was handed the role permanently, in recognition of having almost turned the ship around, and quickly set to work in the Cup of Harmony. Nephara dispatched a group consisting of USAR, New Gazi and Oontaz - a brutal reminder of the company they now kept - before thumping Yuzhou 6-1 in the second round. The Scottopian Isles and Abanhfleft, in extra time, were next, before a cataclysmic 3-0 defeat in the final cut short any hope of an immediate revival.

Veterans Vyntra and Rainsford would not return for the Copa Rushmori, but they left the national team on good terms. Amokachi and Scharner did not, and accounts differ widely as to the reasons why. Though on merit they, unlike Vyntra and Rainsford, remained obviously good enough for regular starts, they had been blamed for splitting the dressing room, disrespecting Fegelein and Brandon both, and ultimately were a sacrifice Brandon was more than prepared to make. Besides, new names were coming through, not only Rafford and Hawke but Rowena Strongbow, who would plant herself firmly into the conversation as one of Nephara's best-ever players. And Adnan Szalai remained in the picture without alienating anyone, the last vestige of the true World Cup 74 core.

On the surface, the next years were unremarkable, but they were a time of healing. Nephara reached the quarterfinals of the Copa Rushmori, edged out by Pasarga, and the knockout rounds of the re-revived Eagles Cup, ultimately beaten by a Schottia side in the middle of one of the most dominant streaks in football history. But the nation sucked their teeth and grimaced as a brutally unforgiving qualifying group came out of the hat: Taeshan, Apox, Ko-oren and Eura. But they needn't have worried. The Cormorants smashed in teeth wherever they went, chalking up 15 wins in a row even as Brandon heavily rotated his squad to keep them fresh, a 1-0 defeat in Apox their only blemish as Nephara managed a flawless-but-one qualifying round for the third time. They left the group in top position, ultimately beaten on penalties by Ceni in the second round.

Ceni, curiously, would lose on penalties to Farfadillis in the next round, who - after being slaughtered by Bonesea in 90 minutes - would go on to lose to penalties to South Covello in the playoff. Most would remember WC79 as the culmination of a world-beating Schottia, Corinne Martel-Burns securing a 3-2 win over Bonesea in the 90th minute. But for Nephara, it was just a dull, normal World Cup. Just what the doctor ordered.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 6
Goalkeepers: 1 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 12 - Toxothea Sebring (Crisisbless), 20 - Chary Longstreet (CA Paulinthal, PAS)
Defenders: 2 - Solblindi Rake (Sabrefell Moths), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Vetta Roback (Sabrefell Athletic), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - Kyri Levering (Northern Union, BRE), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Ettard Mitteager (AFC Treason), 25 - Tanith Xu (Myana, CMT)
Midfielders: 4 - Cassander Southsea (Brinemouth), 8 - Renate March (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 15 - Demeter Constantine (Crisisbless), 19 - Chandra Rosziter (Dynamo Sjoedrhavn, SVJ), 23 - Kurtis Swainsona (Revolutionaries, EUR), 24 - Bellona Sebold (Crisisbless), 26 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 7 - Kestrel Anharbour (Crisisbless), 9 - Vasya Reisinger (West Cuono United, TMB), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 11 - Arachne Loeher (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 13 - Madita Brewer (Northern Union, BRE), 14 - Konrad Balmoral (Aries Chariots), 16 - Xanthe Hauser (Crossroads, CMT), 21 - Felixe Vetiver (1830 Cathair, AUD)

95X 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 Caribbia
Ziwana 3 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 2 Baggieland
UBSA 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 1 TJUN
Savojarna 0 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 0 - 0 Elmyia
Varavel 0 - 2 Nephara
Srednjaci 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit
Nephara vs. 95X
Caribbia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ziwana
Baggieland vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. UBSA
TJUN vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Savojarna
Elmyia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Varavel
Srednjaci vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:12 pm

Still wondering what the ultimate Fantasy strategy is?
Well, those days are over. And the conclusion we draw wasn't what we hoped for, but that's life. Turns out, to get a high score, you just pick all the popular teams other people are choosing. Wild, I know.

High scores (red, left side of the table) see a relatively high Mainstream Pick Percentage (blue line). It's not perfect and not entirely predictable, but the tendency is clear: the top few submissions make great use of popular teams. The more unorthodox it gets - or the lower the blue line goes - the lower scores get.

Generally, you also want to spend more KPB - the highest spenders get better scores. At first glance. But that red trendline gets swayed enormously by the bottom few choices, who made their gimmick 'picking as cheaply as possible'.

But removing all 150-and-under picks reveals that spending is extremely close and it doesn't really matter, as long as you don't stray too far from the max.

Your Season 42 Cinderella Story: Katashi Azula
The Top League, in its long history, has seen a few crosstown rivalries. Most recently that'd be Miradela GD and Branvon CD, two clubs from Santa Teresa that stormed UICA together - and when IFCF rolled around only Miradela could make a point, while the other club, despite the bigger fanbase, dwindled. The current low point is relegation, which they achieved at the end of season 41. The curtain finally draws on something that had been coming for a while. The Second Division, until this season, briefly had the Cirelbourne derby involving 'United' and 'Townside' - and they both relegated, so they'll continue their rivalry in the 3rd Division South, a long drop for United who had been in the Top League for ages. Currently, the Second Division has a surprising one: the Linieux derby - it's not exactly a city that invokes a clear image with most Ko-orenites, if they've ever been there, but Couziers-Olympiques and Linieux en Onyx will have two spicy additions to their calendar.

But by far the weirdest story is happening in the Top League. Katashi-Kanatsu, one of the oldest clubs and ranked four in the Eternal Table (and one of three clubs to play 1000 top level games in their history, with Maethoru and... Branvon), will be playing Katashi Azula. A club nicknamed 'Katashi Four', because the second and third clubs of the city historically were Odahayashi and Yonenomura. A club whose only historical claim to fame is being the phoenix club of a phoenix club of a team that were known as 'Katashi Blue FC' who were active in the first and second season of professional national football - seasons that are numbered 'Pre-history 1' and 'Pre-history 2' because while a full table is available, a full list of matches and other records couldn't be found. The only proof of the existence of that period of Ko-orenite soccer are those two tables and a handful of newspaper clippings of the time - but to claim that Blue FC turned into Azula... well, that's a bit too much for many sports historians. Either way, Azula haven't been active at the top level for 40 cycles even if you do believe the stories. And now, they're back.

A young-ish team with its challenges, pieced together from foreign players taking a shot in the dark - Akiyama from Squidroidia, West from Darmen, Nurmi from Kimi-Suomi, TJUN-ian Carter, and Drawkian Bellomo - about three veterans with Top League experience (Ebina first and foremost, being a local of the area), and a list of mid-floor high-ceiling talents. They're particularly all-in on Nagatomo, the 18-year old defender. But look at the rest of the team: Bonnot, Miyano, Doonta, Nam, and Ferrero - they're all 22 or 23, usually indicating they finished their entire degree before going pro.

Starters
1 GK Kaede Akiyama (29, SQR)
2 RF Quen Trintignant (26, KOR)
3 RB Kerri (f) West (21, DAR)
4 LB Azariah Godolpin (24, KOR)
5 LF Ryōsei Nagatomo (18, KOR)
6 DM Laur Bonnot (23, KOR)
7 CM Kyoji Miyano (22, KOR)
8 AM Tolajilo Ebina (30, KOR)
9 AM Auberl Doonta (22, KOR)
10 RS Yu-Ni (f) Nam (23, KOR)
11 LS Carlos Ferreiro (23, KOR)

Substitutes
12 GK Peter Nurmi (29, KIM)
13 DM Araete Amawai (32, KOR)
14 AM Prince Carter (30, TJU)
15 LS Heizo Izuvala (23, KOR)
16 DM Anzai Mulatagi (31, KOR)
17 ST Kirstin Bellomo (27, DRK)

Contrast that with the fighting machine built in Kanatsu. High-profile names, transfers, budgets, and expectations. Miramontes, Furuya, Kaji and Uozomi, Tsuchimoto. Five players that wouldn't stand out on the national team, all of a very different caliber to anything on Azula's roster - except Nagatomo if the promises hold.

It's unlikely Azula will stay in the Top League for two seasons. Chances are historically awful for Ko-orenite clubs who just promoted. But we all want to believe.

by **Eshialand** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:27 pm

Return to Form?
Ryfenia 1-5 Eshialand
Eshialand 4-1 StrayaRoos

"Is Coach not coming back--" Alice Carroll asked Melissa Carey after the Owls' home tilt against the Emus of StrayaRoos.

"He is, but he just needs a little bit more time..." Melissa reassured her, although she wasn't even that sure herself. For all she knew, this was Coach's way of silently quitting from the team. Normally, the head of the Eshian Soccer Federation would have to know about it, but after all, Coach Morgan was the Federation's president. He didn't have to tell anyone what was going on, only that Melissa would be the de facto manager for a while.

Eshian fans, for once, had good reason to be optimistic. Consecutive clobberings of Ryfenia and StrayaRoos had broken their recent streak of 1-goal defeats and weird draws that had been carrying on since the very beginning of this qualification campaign. They had been acting like some pot 8 or 9 team rather than the pot 4 team that they were, and it was only since their unexpected draw against Audioslavia that they had shown any sort of decent form whatsoever.

Conspiracy theorists would say that, since the manager's disappearance so perfectly lined up with the Owls getting good again, that he was never a good coach in the first place and he was just weighing the team down. Then again, you should never trust those types. They always seem to have the wildest things to say.

Coach Morgan would come back soon. He absolutely had to. It was just a matter of time. In the meantime, all this team could do was try to turn around their fortunes in the second half of qualifying, as the first half left a hell of a lot to be desired. 8 points in their first 8 games? They could do better. They knew they could do better. Ryfenia and StrayaRoos were just the start of this turnaround; now it was time to carry this turn-around into the toughest match of their qualifying campaign: their first return to the Squornshelan Remnant States in almost five years. Last time these two teams faced off, the then-rookie squad managed to pull a 4-4 draw out of their hats. Could they somehow swipe a win this time? Well, that remains to be seen. There's a lot of soccer left to play. Time for them to not blow it.

And hey, at least if they lost to the Black-and-Reds, they'd at least have an away game in Aerágny to hopefully raise their spirits.

Ryfenia - 1 (REDACTED 47')
Eshialand - 5 (Carroll 13', 24'; Harran 41', 78'; Meilling 62')

Eshialand - 4 (MacDougall 9'; Harran 31'; Carroll 76'; Carey 90+1')
StrayaRoos - 1 (Cahill 51')

by **Brenecia** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:45 pm

Novaros 4 - 3 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 25 - Reed; 23 - Sitko (8 - Conway 86'), 19 - Seager, 11 - Covolan (26 - Meskela 72'); 15 - Wake, 21 - Lofthouse (9 - Baker 72'), 10 - Byrne
Goals: Wake 38', Killen 52', Byrne 60'

Pratapgadh 1 - 4 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 1 - Meade; 17 - Hadley, 22 - Wheater, 6 - Jeong, 3 - Culpepper (25 - Reed 87'); 8 - Conway (14 - Cheschon 65'), 4 - Briggs, 11 - Covolan; 15 - Wake, 13 - Stokes, 10 - Byrne (16 - Alderwood 65')
Goals: Byrne 17', Stokes 36', Stokes 60', Covolan 71'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Camden races to winning start
Uther Cartwright

After the Brenecian FA reached the limits of their 'ultimate faith' in Derdriu Wright, following a 4-3 defeat to Novaros - the second successive match in which the Patriots conceded four goals - new manager Erin Camden has wasted no time in getting off to a winning start.

Indeed, Camden's signature was on the contract remarkably soon after Wright was officially terminated, suggesting a deal had been agreed with the experienced manager some time prior. Camden, a Nephara-born former Brenecia international now in her 60s, had once described the Brenecia job as 'a hiding to nothing', but evidently feels differently now, or at least that she has achieved all she can in the club game.

Unsurprisingly, given Brenecia's defensive issues, Camden - a manager of serious pedigree with a reputation as a disciplinarian - immediately shook up the defensive unit, handing Hamish Jeong Harcourt a long-awaited debut alongside the hard-nosed Ruadri Wheater in defence, and installing Cessair Meade between the posts. Mor-Rioghain Stokes and Iseult Conway were also handed starts, after falling out of favour under Wright.

Stokes repaid the faith with a brace in what was ultimately a commanding 4-1 win over a Pratapgadh side that have taken everyone by surprise, and that remain in pole position of the group despite this setback. Brenecia looked imperious all across the pitch, unrecognisable to the pale shadow that had shambled across the first half of qualifying to date, and while they remain eight points shy of second, it has stirred some faint hope of recovery.

Camden will hope to take six points from the next two matches, both at home, hosting 7th-placed Hopal before the return leg against Super Top. Hopal, notably, made short work of the Novaros side that did for Wright, while Super Top slaughtered Brenecia 4-1 at home to open the qualifying cycle, so neither match can be taken for granted.

Her squad has already been selected for the following fortnight, but evidently several key members did well enough to preserve their places, or at least there are few real alternatives. Casper Harder, currently staring down the face of relegation to the third tier in Audioslavia, has been dropped in order to give Sorcha Tanner a return, with the former Brenecia number 1 perhaps hoping to oust Meade.

Most intriguing, however, is the addition of Alaoise Rourke, an obscure 20-year old playing for Litala '93 in Mytanija. One-paced, one-footed and overweight, she has nevertheless amassed a significant highlight reel for herself, and perhaps this is the kind of X-Factor Camden hopes to have up her sleeve.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cessair Meade (Rammsissil, VIL), 12 - Phoebe Corder (Ituraitz FC, ASG), 20 - Sorcha Tanner (Southern Star)
Defenders: 2 - Aine Cooper (Rozelle), 3 - Nimue Culpepper (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 5 - Athelney Shrine (Falourr, EUR), 6 - Hamish Jeong Harcourt (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 17 - Caoimhin Hadley (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 18 - Iucharba Killen (North Laithland, NPH), 22 - Ruadri Wheater (Carsby, BRE), 25 - Shara Chalk (Southern Star)
Midfielders: 4 - Skaidrina Briggs (Southern Star), 8 - Iseult Conway (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 11 - Lienke Covolan (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 14 - Bede Cheschon (Kingsbury United, TMB), 19 - Tamara Seager (FK Arsika, MYT), 23 - Rajmund Sitko (West Cuono United, TMB), 24 - Kestutis Garrett (Northern Stallions), 26 - Alaoise Rourke (Litala '93, MYT)
Forwards: 7 - Aneurin Wakering (CS Saint-Remy, KSK), 9 - Siobhan Baker (Anomalies, CMT), 10 - Katua Byrne (KT Itzalovalle, AUD), 13 - Mor-Rioghain Stokes (Mountainside, EUR), 15 - Maerhen Wake (1830 Cathair, AUD), 16 - Idina Alderwood (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), 21 - Jadwiga Lofthouse (Yassaca, SRS)

Super Top 4 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 0 Acastanha
Delte 2 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 0 Ile de Richelieu
Vilita 2 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 Sajnur
Bears Armed 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 4 Pluvia SI
Novaros 4 - 3 Brenecia
Pratapgadh 1 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Hopal
Brenecia vs. Super Top
Acastanha vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Delte
Ile de Richelieu vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Vilita
Sajnur vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Bears Armed
Pluvia SI vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Novaros
Brenecia vs. Pratapgadh
Hopal vs. Brenecia

by **Yue Zhou** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 1:59 pm

by **Mytanija** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 4:15 pm

THE KARODIN TETRARCHY 0-0 MYTANIJA

MYT: 1. Besak; 2. A. Milosevic, 3. Savicevic (c), 4. Mbala-Ekakia, 5. P. Odonelec (sub. N. Ovcina 62’); 6. Papez; 8. Ovsyannikov (sub. Atsev 70’), 10. Kuhar-Arh (sub. Ocokoljic 62’); 7. Tejic (sub. Vujanovic 78’), 9. Skara, 11. Hranilovic (sub. Bajic 62’)

MYTANIJA 2-1 BANIJA

MYT: Skara 19’, Ovsyannikov 22’

MYT: 1. Besak; 5. P. Odonelec, 3. Savicevic (c), 4. Mbala-Ekakia, 16. Pejakovski; 6. Papez (sub. Gjorgjioski 52’); 8. Ovsyannikov (sub. Smajic 75’), 10. Kuhar-Arh (sub. Urbanc 62’); 18. Vujanovic (sub. Ocokoljic 62’), 9. Skara, 11. Hranilovic (sub. Sulejmanovic 62’)

KITANCHEV’S TACTICAL TWEAK SHOWS THAT HE HAS MORE THAN ONE TRICK UP HIS SLEEVE

So far during qualification for World Cup 93 we have become used to Dzvezdan Kitanchev’s Mytanija lining-up in their 4-3-3 formation which drifts into a 3-2-5 when they have the ball and becomes a 4-4-2 shape when the opposition have the ball, a shape which Kitanchev views as the best to press the opponent and win the ball back high up the pitch. We have also become used to the Hoops settling into a very considered passing game once they have the lead, something which had allowed them to amass 7 wins and 2 draws going into the match against group leaders Banija. Just a few days prior that lead never came, against The Karodin Tetrarchy, and we saw Mytanija play some of their most thrilling football – they just couldn’t get the ball in the net due to an inspired performance from the Karodin goalkeeper.

Many thought that Mytanija might continue with that shape and approach and whilst the approach was broadly similar, being more direct when the game was level and less so when in the lead, there was a highly interesting change of shape which arguably won the game for the Hoops. Kitanchev will be very pleased with himself, his tactical decision worked exceptionally well and this result – against the team ranked 2nd in the multiverse – represents a real feather in his cap. Well done, Dzvezdan, the doubters will have a little less to say tonight, I’m sure. But what was the change which led to the fantastic 2-1 victory in Thessia? Get a beverage of your choice, dear reader, and let the blog enlighten you.

First of all, I shall begin with a note on just how little the phrase ‘on paper’ means for how a team will play and perform out on the pitch. We often see formations noted down as 4-4-2 or 4-3-3 on paper and we often see them play out very differently dependent on whether a team has the ball or not, or whether they are in the lead or chasing a game. Game-state matters. Perhaps even more important is what a manager / coach is asking each player to do as part of their role on the pitch. People often get caught up in the position a player is playing in, but that only gives you a broad insight into what a player might be tasked with doing. We often see things play out very differently.

Full backs end up in midfield positions or even as part of the attacking line. Wingers might be asked either to hug the touchline to create width in a formation or they might be asked to drift inside to create space on the flank. Strikers could live on the shoulder of the last man, or they might drop into midfield, providing an extra body there to create overloads and defend against counterattacks. It is complex, it varies from game-to-game and sometimes even within games and as such what a team ‘looks like on paper’ is almost inconsequential. To analyse the game, you must watch it and ask that question: what is the coach asking these players to do? And then the challenge is to try to explain why.

With that being said, ‘on paper’ Banija line-up in a 4-2-3-1 or 4-2-1-3 shape. As we know, that doesn’t matter enormously and which it is can vary depending on who you ask. It can also vary from the relative positioning of the wingers and attacking midfielder. If the wingers are higher up the pitch, then you might note it down as a 4-2-1-3 and vice versa if the opposite is correct. What doesn’t change all too often is the fact that there will be a central three, two deeper-lying midfielders and one who operates more in the traditional ‘number ten’ space. This three can dominate the centre of the pitch with their technical ability and robust physicality, if they are allowed to do so. This is perhaps the most crucial factor in why Dzvezdan Kitanchev approached the game the way he did.

Banija’s three in the middle, in this case Oguta Achuka, Tijan Sowe and Gereh Kama, can hurt you in several ways (something which changes little with whichever personnel they choose to play in there): they’re good against a set defensive unit due to their technical ability; they can cause problems in transition with fantastic speed, quickness of thought and excellent decision-making; and they can create those transitions with defensive application, energy and clever pressing. Kitanchev had to come up with a way of slowing them down which didn’t focus on them too much and allow Banija’s other top-level players, the likes of Abel Wesoloski-Okafor and Sarafina Ikpeazu, extra time and space to hurt Mytanija due to the diversion of resources elsewhere.

Kitanchev did this in a very clever way. In almost Repinesque fashion he conjured up an approach tailor-made for the problems the Banijans can pose. Mytanija ended up playing in what looked like their usual 4-3-3 on paper, albeit with the slightly unusual decision – for this qualifying campaign at least – to play Patrik Odonelec at left-back rather than on the right. That was perhaps the only thing which raised an eyebrow prior to the game, although with Luka Vujanovic and Mirko Hranilovic selected on the wings there was a clear intention to play with wide wingers. Neither drift inside like Nenad Tejic does to accommodate an overlapping full back. Petar Pejakovski also came in at right-back, something pundits believed was just down to a desire for greater defensive security and a stronger physical presence more than anything else – but Dzvezdan Kitanchev had a plan.

This 4-3-3 ended up being Mytanija’s usual 4-4-2 when out of possession for more prolonged spells, but when they had the ball and in transition they played in a shape which more or less amounted to a 3-2-2-3. Petar Pejakovski, used to moonlighting at centre-half both for 1923 Esca and now in Quebec, shifted across to form a back three with Grigorij Savicevic and Bigger Mbala-Ekakia and now Patrik Odonelec’s mysterious inclusion at left-back all began to make a little more sense. From this left-back position Odonelec was tasked with inverting, moving into midfield alongside Nurija Papez, to form something of a ‘box’. Odonelec and Papez were the bottom two corners of this box and Denis Ovsyannikov and Omer Kuhar-Arh were the top two corners. This box / square always provided Mytanija with an extra player against Banija’s midfield three. An overload.

This created a problem for Banija. They were not as effective in their defensive work, unable to press in midfield and played around a little too easily as Mytanija always had that extra player. What’s more, Banija’s wingers were unable to contribute to midfield areas because Kitanchev was super aggressive in asking his two widest central defenders (Savicevic and Pejakovski) to play really, really wide when the Hoops had the ball. This meant that if either Banijan winger cheated inside to help their midfield Mytanija had an option wide who was comfortable in possession and could advance the ball instead. It was a risk, leaving Bigger Mbala-Ekakia to defend a large space, but it worked as Mytanija kept hold of the ball well.

Another problem was that if Banija won the ball back in midfield that Mytanija’s ‘square’ could quickly converge on the ball to win it back. It’s hard being pressed by one player over a short distance, so when you suddenly have two, three and even four doing so it can be nearly impossible. Again, very risky, but the Hoops appeared to be well-drilled in winning the ball back before Banija could smuggle it away to somebody else. Vujanovic and Hranilovic on the wings helped to keep the Banijan full backs pinned back, and Drazen Skara was constantly pushing to try to force the centre-halves deeper. It created spaces and Mytanija’s midfield box allowed them to get up the pitch and into the 3-2-5 shape they are so used to when they were around the Banijan penalty area.

As a tool built specifically to beat Banija it worked exceptionally for the duration of the first half. It was a tactic designed to help Mytanija’s build-up, Kitanchev admitted after the game that he had watched Banija and ‘wondered how we were going to get the ball from the defensive third to the attacking third’. Instead of playing a full back who could play as a third central defender and have the other full back as an auxiliary winger something else was needed. Patrik Odonelec’s ability in possession and tactical prowess allowed him to fulfil the role of inverted full back, adding an extra body to help get the ball from the defensive third, beyond Banija’s midfield and into the attacking third. Petar Pejakovski’s defensive ability and experience in playing that third central defender role meant that the defensive security was still there.

In five first half minutes Mytanija looked like they might well be the #2 ranked team in the sport, the box working its magic to help get the ball to Ovsyannikov, he drifted into the left half-space and played Vujanovic to the by-line before crossing low for Skara to punch into the net. Less than three minutes later Denis Ovsyannikov got on the end of a Mirko Hranilovic cut-back after some fine work by Skara and Kuhar-Arh in the right half-space. The Novi Atletskistadion crowd produced a noise which was likely heard in Esca once the second goal went in and for a few minutes after Banija nearly went to pieces, victims of an atmosphere which even the most experienced player (which some of the Banijans definitely are) would struggle in. Kitanchev’s magic square played a big part in that, crowding Banija’s midfield and winning the ball back, putting increasing levels of pressure on their defence before the goals and afterwards.

In the second half Banija got to grips with it a little more, Abel Wesoloski-Okafor dropped back to assist; their defence pushed higher to reduce the space in front of them and constrict the space the Mytanar midfield box had to operate in; Ikpeazu and Bokate on the flanks became more aggressive in trying to win the ball when it went to Savicevic and Pejakovski in wider areas. Sarafina Ikpeazu eventually got one back, a fine strike to halve the deficit, but the damage had been done during the first half and Kitanchev was able to make suffocating changes once that goal went in. The Hoops switched to a familiar, albeit more defensive version of the 5-3-2 formation they had played in for a long time. Blazhe Gjorgjioski was on the pitch to break-up the play, Jezdimir Ocokoljic came on to drop back into midfield and draw fouls and the levels of gamesmanship went up and up.

A professional victory and an exceptional tactical tweak from Dzvezdan Kitanchev has fostered an atmosphere of wondering just how far this unusual Mytanija team could go. Top spot in the group just before the halfway point, with the best defence out of 174 teams is an impressive turnaround when some were wondering if the FSM had made the right choice in selecting Kitanchev ahead of the likes of Slavko Jelic up until very recently. It all feels very positive around the Mytanar national team right now.

by **Zwangzug** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 4:34 pm

Kairothletes: Diacritical Hit

All right, you know what, whatever. As a wise person said on many occasions, it's not about the winning, it's about the story. Except in this case when it literally is a solo board game so it kind of is about the winning? But oh well. We'll redraw one card at a time so that if we get super lucky, we can call off this plan and re-evaluate, but for now the plan is to resolve Seung-Min, who's right here, and give up on William.

First, use "Reverse Fate" to interfere with the Frisbee game that led to the creation of the Zwangzug national team back in World Cup 33. The game will instead be broken up by robots. This affects many different ripplepoints: among them, Zwangzug winning the Golden Haddock Award in World Cup 36. We patch this by having Errinundera's Potoroos win that prize instead.

Next, we use another reverser on World Cup 77, when Ruland was destroyed; we flip this to have Rulandese rebels peacefully deposing Farf leadership. This paradoxes World Cup 78 and (fully) 80. We resolve the WC80 paradox by having Tájö Çíânflöné elected comrade-president, with diacritics for all and sundry.

We'll use the "restore history" linchpin to flip WC59E, Audioslavia's Baptism of Fire, back to normal. Aaaand...with all the cards we've drawn, we could start working on Mayumi's timeline by patching World Cup 26, but she wants the unaltered WC78 and that's not in the cards right now, to coin a phrase. So let's commit, sorry William. We'll use the "complete randomess" inverter, which works on very silly events, to re-flip the Kirola emergence in WC61. (Technically, some of our specific-event inverters are a little more powerful than the cards they replace in the RLStates game, because they can go either direction rather than just "prevent assassination." But I hope nobody begrudges me this alteration, this game is hard enough.) So we nullify the WC73 patch, but in the process, restore the true double-double in WC64. With that, Errinundera's golden haddock, and Çíânflöné's election, Seung-Min's timeline has been restored. And I just realized I think I meant to spell it Seong-Min with an O but I can't read my own handwriting, so whatever.

Seung-Min wrote:My significant others are like “why won’t you take me home to meet your family?” The truth is, I’m worried that once they see the timeline I come from, they won’t want to leave.

We have two new patches available, for WC26 and WC34E. 34E has been paradoxed because of the original national team, but we may have to go back and forth on them several times because Hannah wants the WC42 final intact. We could patch WC26 for Mayumi, but Héðinn wants WC26 unaltered. However, there are some linchpins we can now flip safely, since we have fewer characters to deal with. Mayumi, as we've mentioned, wants the original WC78, and since Seung-Min is safely out of the way, we can flip the Rulandese violence back. We'll use a "modern-day" inverter on that (where "modern day" is an increasingly large proportion of the World Cup's history), and Ruland descends into chaos once again. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

(MacEacharna 12, Jackson 39, Dewey 70)

by **Oberour Ar Moro** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 4:42 pm

Peterne de Courbeuil had decided that he wanted a late dinner at Alesia, the trendy Regium brasserie with the eternal waiting list on Rue Arzhul Chaumeau. But he's Peterne de Courbeuil, Patrons and National Team starting Right Winger. Of course he could breeze in alongside the boreal winds with not a single second of wait.

He glided to a prime seat and was served a grapefruit juice with lager and a basket of gougères with nary a pause. And then as promptly as could be, he was served his entree of trout amandine with a side of green beans.

In between bites, Peterne described his childhood in Regium, his playing career, the current National Team, when who should spot him but Perick Selles, television's own Doctor Phillip de Bégasson. The beau gosse of hit television series Ne Pense Pas à Demain had just arrived with friends, but seeing Peterne he could not help but walk over. The impossibly handsome actor apologized profusely for bothering Peterne during his meal, giving the rare example of a celebrity fanning over someone else. And Perick said the thing that so many were saying to Peterne: "I am so glad you came back".

The important part is that Peterne had come back to Regium, and back to Patrons. He had begun his career with Patrons as a right midfielder, finding success as a distributor. He worked his way to a national team career and was named to the Premier Division Best XI. He then packaged his success in order to make a move internationally.

He left Patrons for Tikariot City in the Tikariot Premier League, and found a new position as a center midfielder. He then left Tikariot City for Port Taccasam FC, where he played with former Obeorur national team goalkeeper Olliuer le Duc, and current Oberour national team striker Gouesnon Fauchlevent. In Tikariot he was a high scoring and highly rated offensive threat.

Meanwhile in Oberour Ar Moro, Patrons had hired a new manager in Primel Soulette, and had seen cross-city rivals Hibernus rise to win the Premier Division. Patrons needed to respond, and they did, with a major spending spree to completely revamp the offense going forward.

A key target was Peterne de Courbeuil, who had moved again on the pitch, this time up to the right wing. A quite good midfielder had become a very good winger, free to cut in and score more often. A reunion was practically inevitable. So Peterne flew back across the Vaia Sea and came home, rejoining Patrons, though sporting a new position and new number.

And new fame as a returning hero. He had become the best right winger in the Premier Division, surpassing Renald Gayrard at Hibernus. And he took the starting right wing position from Gayrard with the National Team. It’s no wonder television stars wanted to bother him for a moment of his time.

And how did Peterne respond to his celebrity fan? Simple. “I’m glad I came back too.”

by **Saperetia** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:25 pm

Home Game Ends In Disappointing Defeat
Saperetia 0-1 Oberour Ar Moro

The next three games will be important for showing Mouthenio's ability as a manager. The games are against nations which are all only 2 points from us in the group, which means that they should be around the same strength as us. It is hard to see a scenario in which we lose those games and Mouthenio keeps his job after qualifications are over. With these games potentially making or breaking the manager, the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the OAM 4-3-3:

Saperetia: GK Yakim (C) DEF Kegan, Alton, Pascal, Eugene MID Lacy, Knobes, VilfredoATK Gordie, Antoon, Titus

Oberour Ar Moro: GK Au Feure DEF Bauldry, De Baingneus, Asce, Daribilhague MID Breut, de Linge, d'Amienz ATK Vrely, Petitmesnil, De Courbueil

With a matchup between one of the most defensive teams against one of the most offensive teams, the start of the game went unsurprisingly as the Saperetian defence was getting attacked from all sides. Though, even with Oberour creating all of the chances, the defence, which consisted of all the usual subs, did not break in the first half. But immediately in the second half, in the 46th minute, a cross from Vrely saw Petitmesnil hit a powerful volley to send the ball straight past Yakim and into the net, bringing the score to 1-0 for the visitors. Mouthenio then decided to sub Alton and Pascal off for Celso and Diyan, who managed to hold the attackers off for the rest of the game.

In the press conference after the game, reporters asked Mouthenio if he feared that his Job was on the line. "Not at all," replied the manager, "I have full confidence in the team winning in the next two games. We have shown that we can hold them off, so we now just got to score one as well." It is so to see if this mindset will be visible in the next game against Al-Tamazgha.

Another Loss Sends Team Down To 10th
Al-Tamazgha 1-0 Saperetia

In this match, the Saperetians went up against the other team that they have previously encountered in the Baptism of Fire: Al-Tamazga. That time the game ended in a goalless draw, and now both teams hope to get a better result. But only one can come true, and so the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the TMZ 3-3-2-2:

Saperetia: GK Yakim1 (C) DEF Ipatiy, Celso, Diyan, Achille MID Oerwa, Nils, Nikolaus, ATK Gordie, Antoon, Titus

Al-Tamazgha: GK Ekoko (C) DEF Amrouche, Carcela, Laroui MID-DEF Soumare, Benzakour, Elalamy MID-ATK Benzakour, Yaktine ATK Diouri, Joumari

Both sides remembered the last game, which was visible from their play style. Both sides came close to scoring, but the chances were just barely missed every time, so this time, the teams were more attacking, seemingly thinking that the first goal would decide the game. Both sides once again came close in the first half, but once again all chances seemed to magically miss. However, early in the second half, like the previous game, a counterattack saw Diouri bypass Yakim to put the Mountain Lions up by 1 in minute 50. An exhausted Saperetian side did not have the power to keep on attacking and so after the goal, the game died down all the way until the final whistle.

Having now lost ⅔ games against opponents which on paper were about equal in strength, many are questioning if Mouthenio is the right man for the job. He himself declined to comment and did not appear at the press conference, in which Antoon seemed to insinuate that the team were in favour of a new manager, but he did stress that "the games are not done, and we have to focus on them first. Once all the results are in, then can we talk on how to improve." Many fans are dreading the next fixture against Abanhfleft, the final nation until the second round of fixtures begin. With Saperetia in only 10th/12th place, many fans hope that improvements can be made before the next tournament.

by **Cap Nord** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:55 pm

Of course it is stupid vanity, but King Harold liked to sit on his throne. The old relict had been brought down from Chateau Villeneuve to the Paleisette, the building reserved for the crown closest to the beating political heart in Noordende. And some days, he would just put his royal behind on the velvet cushion and overthink stuff. There was plenty of that going around as Dalving had given him another 'suggestion': in her vocabulary, an execution by firing squad was probably a 'strongly worded advice'. He was given the assignment to spread the word to the youth on the new re-edited version of the national history. Dalving had asked him to explicitly avoid the word ‘rewritten’ in his communication to all stakeholders. The details of how and when were left to the royal devices. As such, he needed some thinking and…

“Why are you on my throne?”

A kid, about nine, was seated in it, one leg casually swung over the side. She had a popsicle and King Harold, to his horror, noticed a booger slowly making its way to the velvet.

“It was my turn?”
“I’m sorry?!”
“We all took turns and now it was my turn.”

As King Harold turned around, he saw about ten children, strewn across the room, and his royal assistant painstakingly trying to stop them from touching the priceless artwork on the walls. Considering the battered vase and the torn painting in the corner, he was fighting a losing battle.

“Your Highness, my apologies. Apparently someone booked a school tour for the building two years ago, before your rightful return to the throne and now we are obliged to honor our commitment.”

The kid jumped out of the throne and pointed to the King.

“Hang on. Are you the real one? Hey, guys! It is the actual King! King, can I ask you a question?”

Even before King Harold could reply, a barrage rained down on him.

Is this your favorite palace? What do kings eat for breakfast? Can I be the king one day? Where is the loo? What is your take on the strained relationship with Koronovia? Each and every one of those was harder to swallow than the previous one, so King Harold was quite happy when the smallest of the bunch asked one he could answer.

“Who is your guy on the national team? Who is your favorite football player?”
“Well kids… Do not tell anyone, but ‘my guy’ as you kids say, would be Jorgen Bjerkness.”
“My dad says he’s shit.”

Royal decorum disallowed King Harold to call that little shit’s dad a daft wanker, so he simply shook his head and replied.

“The thing about Bjerkness…”

Harold turned around theatrically, carefully mouling over his words.

“Passes with backheels and crossers on strikers.
Moves ‘cross the pitch like they’re elegant tigers.
Grit when you’re chasing and corners with swings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Guidance with flair for his young Arctic Foxes.
Daredevil headers, in and outside boxes.
Go past defenders, run around them rings
These are a few of my favorite things.”

We will never know why King Harold was swinging around the large pole of the throne room at this point, but the kids did not seem to mind.

“When the Chief Minister wails
and the Whalers trail,
when I’m feeling sad.
I simply check in on the Fort Viljan man
and that’s why he’s still… my guy!”

By now, the kids were executing a surprisingly complicated dance routine for their age.

“Scores with the outside and dribbles like flashes
No needless tackles but half-spaced quick dashes
After a free kick the inside post tings
These are a few of my favorite things!”

Where the youngsters found such a large cloth was unclear, but they were hurling the singing King in the air now.

“When Dalving wails
and the Whalers trail,
when I’m feeling sad.
I simply check in on the Fort Viljan man
and that’s why he’s still… my guy!”

Panting and heaving, king Harold looked to the ecstatic children. One girl raised a greasy finger.

“I have heard that Jorgen Bjerkness grew up not too far from our school!”
“Oh yeah, where are you kids from?”
“Opsvik!”

Suddenly, the royal remembered his assignment.

“How would you kids feel about having the King come over to your school to tell you all a little bit more about our glorious history?”

[Elsewhere, at an unrelated point in time]

They had sent him to meet with the team’s mental coach. Him! Simon Carstensen, the nation’s most important and beloved football player. And worst of all, that guy had the bravado to tell him that he might not be it.

”You see Simon, the problem (and I am only suggesting this to help you) is that people see you as a bit short tempered. A bit curt even, at times.”
“Bollocks.”
“Let us reflect here for a moment, Simon. How would you like to be remembered, Simon? If you think of an excellent football player, what are the words that are associated with that for you?”

That was a bit of a pickle but he eventually stuck with ‘arduous, leader and physical mastership’.

“Hm. Showing you are hardworking is a bit difficult and I believe your leadership is without doubt generally accepted. But if you want to remold your image, showcase a new side of yourself, you might want to start with the physical mastership. With Rohan Williams departing to Nephara, the competition does have a room for an all-star metroman: someone who is excellent with the ball but also swoons the fans with his physique.”

These words were coming back to him when Carstensen received the ball from Vennema, somewhere halfway the second half against Brusseldorf. The opener from Myrrheim had put the Whalers in the lead but Los Alrededores were a harder opponent than their rank in the table suggested and Al-Maghribi stuck to him like a piece of gum. How did he want to be remembered, Simon wondered…

“Some men play for sport,
others play for food…”

A quick touch suddenly gives Carstensen a whole lot of space and Antony Providence seems to be off his line.

“The only thing I’m playing for”

He hits it mightily strong and leaves the goalie scrambling.

“... is a celebration that looks gooooood.”

And it goes in, 2-0 for the Whalers! Carstensen whips off his shirt, jubilating.

“Seeeee my chest, see my chest,
I puff it up as I’m the best.
It’s no header, this is better,
near the post like it’s a letter.
My demeanor, with a screamer.
See this ball - I proudly beam her
This red shirt I am now waving
indicating there’s no saving.
What a shot, proudly hot,
outside foot and it’s a slot.
Look dear fan, who’s the man
they cannot test?
You try to beat my team,
I’ll wake you from your dream,
See my chest, see my chest, see my chest!”

By now, those that celebrated around him have already awkwardly walked back to their own half for the kick-off.

“Liked that ripper? Feeling chipper -
It was that or skip their skipper.
But a World Cup finals ticket would be best.
So let’s keep up this streak
Even if our chance looks bleak
See my chest, see my chest, oh please, won’t you see my chest?”

Panting and heaving, Simon Carstensen looks to the ecstatic crowd, ignoring the referee that pops up from a corner of his eye.

“That’s it boy, one yellow for taking off the shirt and one for the extremely long, slightly pornographic dance routine.”
“Is there something in the rules that says you cannot do that?”
“There’s…. Somewhere in the back. Listen, brat, it’s a red and you’re off. Let us hope your team does not concede fast and goes through fifteen minutes of scrambling to hold a 2-1 result against an unranked opponent.”

by **Pemecutan** » Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:23 pm

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || News || Chapter 3

Chapter 4

I can't focus. Today is the opening for the economic conference, one of the events of Inter-Nations Conference. Despite this is the field of our Economy Minister, but I have to attend it as part of the delegation. Well, just for the opening session. I still have another meeting session with Soracana's PM and Toluiwan representative. And of course the Cakranegaran Vice President. But here I am in the middle of the opening of economic meeting while my mind travel around to home. I know that I've been too worry. The last update I heard is everything still calm. But then, even a storm happened after a clear blue sky. I already informed the intelligence to be prepare. Lord Bongkasa is my last resort. But....

The Calm Before The Storm

"You seems to be somewhere else, Mr. Patih," say Basubala Anggarjahia, Prime Minister of Soracana Islands.

Our meeting is held after lunch. It is a great time to know the local cuisine. And I can say that I love it. It's quite different with the spices rich cuisine of Pemecutan. But it is worth recommended. Back to the meeting, Anggarjahia's words really struck me. Does my face say it all?

"I'm sorry." That's all I can say.
"It's okay. If you feel unwell, we can reschedule our meeting. I guess you need some rest," suggest Anggarjahia.
"Oh no, no. No need to do that. We can proceed with our meeting," I said firmly. Hope that he is understand.
"Very well," he finally agree to continue.

The talks revolved around trade and travel. It seems like Soracana will retain our trade agreement just like before their referendum. I have to follow up this agreement with Amalia and Wiryajaya. Soracana and Pemecutan have become so close after the civil war. And it is good to continue the good relationship after they are fully sovereign again. The open border policy between the two countries will continue as before. The most interesting part is in sports. I don't know how this topic if ever mentioned.

"I hope you can agree with my proposal. You see that over the time Soracana's athletes are presented as Pemecutanian. And it is still happening until today based on our sports committees agreement. I want to change that," he open the discussion.
"What do you mean?" I'm curiously ask.
"I want Soracana's name is also present or mentioned in the delegation," he propose.
I think of his words for a moment. I noticed Soracana's athletes presence in numerous Pemecutanian squads or delegations throughout their dependency status. But most notably are in football, tennis and Olympic. None others. While their numbers are also much lower than Pemecutanian athletes. This is really a tricky proposal.
"Hhmm. I personally can consider your proposal. I don't see any objection from me personally. But as you can see, the sport committee is somewhat independent from the government and we can't interfere much about their decision. But we can trigger this issue for them to be discuss and we can monitor the development."
He smile. I guess my answer can satisfy him. I realize what's he wants. Acknowledgement. Soracanian athletes have give their sweat to Pemecutan but the world acknowledge their success as Pemecutan's accomplishment. That's a bittersweet moment for them. Despite only a few of them that have reached that level but it is not wrong to acknowledge them as who they are.

Back to the hotel finally. I must call UPOC President about the conversation before. Hope he can understand the intention. What could be wrong about it.

"But Mr. Patih, we can undermine our own athletes. Soracanian have less than 10% in our Olympic squad. Maybe they are larger in other sports. But we can't do that," say Pande Nyoman Sutapa, President of UPOC.

Well, that's not the answer I want to hear. But that's their territory. I can't interfere further.

"I suggest you just have a meeting with SICO's President. Hear from them. That's the only thing I want from you. The rest is all up to you," I say it finally.
"Alright, Mr. Patih. I'll do as you say. But I can't guarantee how the result will be," he confirmed.

That's a stressing call. Never knew Sutapa is that stubborn.

by **Fort McKinley** » Sat Feb 18, 2023 12:39 am

In the first year after they had taken up residence in Kingston, there were numerous changes in the lives of the four ex-Ft McKinley citizens now resident aliens in Quebec & Shingoryeo; David and Lee had seen Kate and Jason get married, followed by their own wedding a few months afterward; David had gotten permission to resume his career, signing with second tier side Coloratura City FC in addition to his sister, brother in law and wife also obtaining work permits; they expanded their social circles both together and as individual couples, broadening their understanding of everyday life; and they had established separate households, far enough away for the other to have an identity of their own but close enough to still maintain their familial connection easily.

Through the following few years, they'd almost forgotten about their lives before the day in Neorudo, Mertagne that was something akin to a re-birth; they'd dropped use of the 'clan' name from their surnames so now they were David & Leslie Allen and Jason & Kate Davis, both couples expanding their families with a daughter for the former (and shortly to be revealed that another was on the way) and one gender each for the Davis's.

Fort McKinley itself had undergone changes as well; the football team was withheld from participating in World Cup 92 but had re-emerged in the multiversal scene for the inaugural Tea Cup competition as well the AOCAF Championship in Valanora ahead of the current World Cup cycle, winning more than they lost—8 victories and just 7 defeats along with a pair of draws—while the nation itself had been struggling with a litany of problems that were always front and center: a birth rate that was below replacement level, a fragile economic base susceptible to the slightest changes in factors needed to maintain a standard of living that was above subsistence level, a deteriorating infrastructure. All of these issues were the result of the Republic Party's continued insistence of isolation from outside influences and unwillingness to open any aspect of the nation to foreign scrutiny.

The draw for qualifying for World Cup 93 threw Fort McKinley and Quebec into the same group, with the schedule working out that the Grim Reapers and the Heroes of the Revolution would meet on the final day of both halves of the round-robin tournament, a fact that amused Dave considerably; also the fixture list fell in such a way that the first of the two meetings would take place in Shiloh Springs at the People's Revolution Stadium.

Allen was invited to meet with a group of officials that included representatives of the Foreign Office, the Intelligence Service and the RQFA, all of whom had particular reasons for wanting information about visiting the most inhospitable place in Atlantian Oceania. He brought his sister along unannounced as he felt that they both being previously part of the 'elite' of the nation would provide insights that their adopted country might be after.

Dave started off with a brief discussion of the sporting practicalities—the ground itself, where the squad would likely be provided accommodations, what the general mood and atmosphere of the crowd could or would be like; Kate was able to fill in some more blanks about the city, as she'd attended the prestigious National University of Ft McKinley, which was followed by her taking a job at the national automobile company back in Curundu.
They both also explained that there was probably zero chance that the Party Information Committee—Ft McKinley's Secret Police—would have any interest in creating problems because there was almost the same chance that anyone in the country even knew that the four defectors currently were in Q&S; “it's giving the PIC credit they don't deserve that they might have a notion to use widely available public info to try and track any of us down. They couldn't really do anything with the info if they had it” was how Dave summarized the situation.

They would gather as a family to watch the match on TV in what would be something of a surreal experience, seeing their homeland through the perspective of outsiders.

__________________________________________________________________________________

THREE MATCH HOME PERIOD TO SEE NEW LINEUP (FMNA) SHILOH SPRINGS--The Fort McKinley National Football Team will attempt to thwart the evil plots laid against it by the imperialist swine at the World Cup Committee as they host three home fixtures in a row, beginning with the murderous capitalists from Quebec & Shinygore who are the favored nation in the eyes of the WCC, as they currently sit atop the group table. Following that, the opponent from matchday 1, the bovine offspring from the Yakk nation will experience the fury of the People's Revolution Stadium which should deter the attempts to manipulate the outcome of the contest as happened in the first meeting.
Manager Comrade D.T. Jones is preparing a fresh starting lineup for the Heroes to undermine the opponents pre-arranged perfidy as well providing more offensive firepower.

New Lineup--20 J.D. Beard; 19 P.T. Jones, 5 M.J. Beard, 3 E.B. Miller, 22 B.R. Allen; 18 R.S. Young, 21 P.E. Miller, 16 M.N. Gray, 12 L.M. Clark; 23 S.B. Davis, 13 J.W. Morris

by **Ile de Richelieu** » Sat Feb 18, 2023 12:44 am

Île de Richelieu can't win

Port-Saint-Jean, Île de Richelieu - Here's a recap of Île de Richelieu's last 6 games. On matchday 5, the Cardinals reeived Hopal at Stade national de la montagne de l'ours. Île de Richelieu 2 Hopal 2. Goals by Borghild Eggum (31st minute) and Valkyrie Dahlen (58th minute).

On matchday 6, Jean-Christophe Gouin was back in the starting XI after suffering an arm injury against Bears Armed. Rasmus Hammer was back in the starting XI after being suspended one game. Super Top 2 Île de Richelieu 2.Goals from Nicolas Leboeuf-Hachey (53rd minute) and Rose-Émilie Bouthillette (90+1 minute). Red card: Ragnhild Austad.

Zoe McGregor replaced Ragnhild Austad in the starting XI on matchday 7 against Acastanha. Ile de Richelieu 2 Acastanha 2. Goals from Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers at the 11th minute and Jean-Christophe Gouin at the 65th minute. Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers suffered an injury in the 2nd half and will miss the next two games.

Julie McMullen replaced Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers against Delte on matchday 8. Delte 1Île de Richelieu 0. Hugo Denommée received his fifth yellow card and will be suspended on matchday 9.

Matchday 9: Julie McMullen is still in the starting XI and Hjalmar Boberg is replacing Denommée. Ile de Richelieu 1 Pratapgadh 3. Goal from Rose-Émilie Bouthillette at the 78th minute.

On matchday 10, the Cardinals recieved Vilita at Stade national de la montagne de l'ours, which has a capacity of 11,569. Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers is healty and was back in the starting XI. Hugo Denommée was back in the starting XI after serving a one game ban. The cold weather in Île de Richelieu probably affected the 8th ranked jungle rebels. It was -2 °C or 28 °F in Port-Saint-Jean. At the 17th minute, Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers made a short pass to Valkyrie Dahlen who kicked the ball into the net and Île de Richelieu takes a 1-0 lead. But Jakku’u Naboyavi tied the game at the 90+6 minute and the final score was Île de Richelieu 1 Vilita 1.

The Cardinals will travel to Sajnur on matchday 11. Rasmus Hammer had a red card against Vilita and Jean-François St-Yves will replace him in the starting XI. Bjørnar Grendahl-Kalberg will rest while Kjell Thorstad will be in goal. Hammer and Grendahl-Kalberg are both expected to be back in the starting XI on matchday 12 against Bears Armed.

Jean-Guy Laframboise

by **Sargossa** » Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:17 am

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Football

Game of Two Farves

Blanco Borrayo reports;

To say that this campaign has so far defied expectation would be quite the understatement. Two years ago, the Football Federation announced that they’d all but given up on ambitions to qualify for the World Cup proper. Instead, finishing the qualification campaign in a position that exceeds the side’s current seeding was the sum total of their aspirations. Quite the come down for a nation that had wracked up a string of trips to the big show in the past. And an objective that ultimately proved beyond the reach of the side. As the fifth seeds finished a disappointing sixth in their qualification group.

The nation’s performance at the recent Copa Rushmori, and the bronze medal won, was certainly reassuring but never likely to wash away the bitter aftertaste of that previous World Cup campaign, and the Cup of Harmony debacle that followed it. So, the expectations of the Federation, alongside the wider Sargossan public, remained somewhat low. Imagine the surprise. Undefeated in nine games. Twenty-three points from a possible twenty-seven. Top spot in Group 4. Suddenly it was all going frightfully well. So well that not even a first defeat of the campaign could dampen the mood among a public who’d forgotten what the good times felt like. Because, good run or not, only the most foolhardy of fan expected anything from the matchday ten trip to The Outlandish Lands.

While their nation, from Farolera to Fröndt and across all other points of the compass, was a hot mess, La Vherderoja could play a bit. Huayramarca are always going to be a tough nut to crack, Starblaydia positively ooze historical pathos, but in Group 4 it’s Farfadillis who are very much the big boys. As the Corsairs found on their recent visit to one of the less celebrious corners of Atlantian Oceania.

Previous meetings between Sargossa and Farfadillis had been tight. All three games had ended 3 – 2, with two Sargossan victories to the Farves one. But the last of those games was quite some time ago. The Farfadillis of recent years is a different beast entirely. Essentially the Corsairs were given a footballing lesson. One that came courtesy of the boots of Jôs Sürréo. The miniature midfield maestro was a spectre in the centre of the park. Marking him was akin to catching hold of smoke. One second he was spraying a pin point accurate pass out to the wing, the next he was ghosting into the box to open the scoring with a near post tap in. Dénes Robineau was the other Farf who helped his nation carry the day. A cool finish after collecting Sürréo’s exquisite through ball doubled the lead before half time and put La Vherderoja well on the way to a comfortable three points.

Slavko Jelic would have manfully tried to inject some life back into his charges at half time. But the fact was that one side was simply much better than the other. Robineau doubled his personal tally with a fine effort. The Crisisbless front man received the ball just inside the box, with his back to goal, and turned on a six pence, totally deceiving two covering defenders into the bargain, before simply passing the ball into the bottom corner. Sargossan substitute Mateo Manzanares did pull one back for the Corsairs, but it was a scant consolation. And Jôs Sürréo underlined his man-of-the-match performance with a mazy dribble that ended with a twenty yard drive which rocketed into the top corner of Jacobo Robles’ goal.

The chastening experience was over, but so too was the group’s toughest fixture. And Sargossa had emerged from it with top spot in the group still intact. Albeit with the still unbeaten Huayramarca, the impressive Pyazhnaya and the Farves themselves clustered just a single point further back. So, fans can still check in online and view the group table with a smile on their faces. Online is exactly how they had to consume the game after the Foreign Ministry had issued a statement advising that travel to Farfadillis for the fixture was ‘probably not a good idea’. There’s no such worries for the next game, as Carpathia and Ruthenia visit the Bonilla Arena in Jucaro for a match that will see the conclusion of the first half of this qualification campaign. A win for the Corsairs in the City-Of-The-Sea will see the points tally hit twenty six, just three fewer than the grand total two years ago.

by **Gnejs** » Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:33 am

No place like almost home

It is not easy, the life of a rouge submarine crew. They had a taste of it travelling down to Electrum – with the added hardship of only being three crewmembers, plus a cat – but nothing could’ve prepared them for the long, long journey from the shores of eastern Terranea to the distant lands of Esportiva.

A submarine, by design, runs best when submerged, and the crew quickly found out what a prolonged lack of sunlight and fresh air means for mood, moral and mental health. Artificial sources of light and air are far from ideal, and especially the teenage ninja surfers – born and raised on the ever-present sun and delicate beach breeze of southern Electrum – experienced disorientation, fatigue and just a general feeling of being disconnected. Depression, some would call it, and it came in addition to respiratory issues and headaches.

They went up occasionally, of course, to bask for a moment in the sun. The bleakness would’ve probably have been completely unbearable otherwise, but they could never afford to do it too often or stay up for too long. Even though a long way from their homes – same if that was Baggieland or The Union or Electrum – they were still in a hostile environment. Lodge drones had spotted them once, and they knew they needed to be constantly prepared for any number of potential threats, ever vigilant and ready to respond at a moment's notice. This was an added sort of pressure, and it contributed to the mental and emotional exhaustion.

It’s not a hallmark of comfortable living either, manning a submarine. The space is limited, to say the least, and you’re confined there for days, or even weeks and months, at a time. Granted, more modern submarines are probably equipped with most of the necessary amenities you’d imagine needed to make life under water bearable. But the Onslaught was no modern submarine. Do you enjoy personal space? Then you’d most likely hate being onboard the Onslaught for this here journey. There were people everywhere. Mostly severely depressed teenage ninja surfers, and they’re a real drag to be around. They all shared bunks, bathrooms, and when they were on duty, they had to work in tight spaces.

Despite all these hardships, the crew were able to find a sense of common purpose that united them and allowed them to push through. That common purpose was a shared hatred towards former Landsman Øystein Øye and his jolly disposition. Because, the circumstances affected all of them in a negative way, apart from Øye. He was the only one with extended experience living on a submarine, and he was loving being back at sea. He spent the first couple of days going on and on about the joys of a sailor’s life, and often resorted to singing annoying sea shanties during all hours of the day. The idea was probably to boost moral and optimize labor, but it had the opposite effect. They finally had enough and looked him in a broom closet. This boosted moral significantly.

One day – it was hard to say how many days into the journey; it had all blurred together – one of the teenage ninja surfers (a lad called Lleyton) suddenly called out. He had seen land in that long tube thing that you use to see above the water while being below, and the entire crew came running. Hannah and Killer Bob quickly pushed the young boy aside to have a look. They were getting closer and closer, and soon enough you could start to distinguish features of the shoreline. There were structures there, signs of civilization. They all started laughing and hugging each other, they had made it. None of them had ever really gotten the hang of reading the maps, so they weren’t sure exactly what they had reached, but they had reached something. Desperate for once again putting their feet on firm soil, they pressed on.

When they had come even closer to shore, Hannah could make out a flag at the top of a pole. She squinted her eyes to try to make out the flag (she was quite good at flags and a treasured member of the ministry quiz team). At last, it came into focus, and her heart dropped. A grey piece of stone, on a white background. Could it be? Had they been travelling in circles all this time? Had they endured all this just to be back where they had started? She used to feel a sense of pride when in the presence of the flag of the Prosaic Union, but now it almost made her loose her mind. She stepped away from the tube-looking-thing and shook her head violently. Killer Bob took her place and observed in silence. And then he started laughing. Hannah got angry and scorned him for making light of this considerable setback. But he just smiled and told her to look again. But not at the flag this time, but rather at the streets below.

So she did, and there she saw something she had never seen before. A washing machine, a dishwasher and a toilet walking into a bar.

World Cup 93 - RP Thread

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