The 83rd Cup of Harmony — Roster/RP/Scores Thread

[HUElavia]

Kuraita 1–4 HUElavia
(Vaskevičius 52' | Duarte 19', Pillpe 35', Aveiro 68', 77')
Columbus Field, Columbia, Alexandria, Tumbra

XI vs TJUN-ia: 
1 Lettmann, 4 Vargas, 2 Lavezzi, 3 Higashi, 5 Rosado, 6 Font, 8 Brousseau, 10 Navarro-Hamada, 11 Chanca, 7 Honda (C), 9 Nascimento
Special Uniform will be worn

Matchday 3 vs Kuraita was seen as a bright spot for the B-Team as Cristiano's choices were seen as well picked for a lower-difficulty team. Headers by Duarte and Pillpe in the first half saw the HUElavians enjoying the match, with the crowd jumping around to make the stadium rumble. A tap-in from Vaskevičius early in the 2nd half gave Kuraita and its supporters some hope that they could rebound. Although, two spectacular solo goals from Aveiro was enough to put the game away and give HUElavia the 3 points.

At the moment, HUElavia leads Group C, and will be playing against their 2nd biggest test in the group against famous rivals TJUN-ia. The Jaguars are favorites for the game, but Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos are looking to put up a fight and give it their best. More than likely, the winner of the match would be taking a big step towards qualifying for the Round-of-32, and both teams are hungry for that spot. The A-Team returns to play, where Cristiano hopes that the team's motivation and form can stand up to the test. Thousands of HUElavians will be flocking to the stadium to support the team, with their traditional swarming of an entire endzone, and it's expected about 48% of the stadium will be HUElavians. Here's to hoping that the team can get points against this major rival.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Electrum]

The Turnip: A Postmodernist Deconstruction Of Football
by Billiam Maskey, chief-editor-in-chief

Football. Soccer. Footbol. Futsal. Fusball. Handegg. They are all different names that describe one sport: anime. Just kidding. They all describe rugby. Rugby, or Football, is a sport where two teams (generally representing clashing ideas such as time and space, truth and ideals, the letter X and Y, the sun and moon, leftism and being wrong, etc.) get into a bite-sized dispute where at the end there is one winner, or none, depending on what the circumstances call for.

But what does football represent? Today, The Turnip will be putting on its literary cap (it's the only way to talk about football after all) to discuss some of the big ideas behind the concept of football.

To us, football is all about the marketplace of ideas in a libertarian world. The two teams represent two different positions, bartering, that is, passing the ball, between each other, in a series of back and forths, often punctuated by too many commas, that is to say, stoppage time, in order to determine who has the best idea. For example when Latrobe Athletic faced off against Fontvielle Impact in the most recent IFCF Champions League Final, the teams weren't just facing each other in a game of football. Rather it was a debate in the marketplace of ideas about whether the concept of living in Kelssek was better than the concept of living in Valladares. Another interpretation of this match is a debate between brains or brawn: brainy people can make an impact, but athletic people have the brawn. There are truly infinite interpretations available for every single match, and these interpretations can themselves be debated, perhaps even in a game of football.

Another way of looking at football is through the lens of technological imperialism. As a collective race of sometimes-benevolent sentient beings, we have decided that the technology to make a rectangular field for our petty little games triumphs over nature. We could have had a big, old beautiful park with trees and areas for slam poetry on intersectional analysis but we can't. On the pitch itself is the truncated icosahedron we call the ball. These balls are made of vulcanized rubber, which again requires a field to be cleared for a rubber plantation. Again we see the theme of technology over nature: we are fundamentally valuing the technology of the ball over the wild. It's no wonder that the prevalence of metaphors such as these themes truly shows that football is a vessel for the big ideas in postmodernism. I can already feel my brain capacity expanding massively, can you?

But more worryingly, one final interpretation we have of football is that it is a manifestation of the chaotic forces across the multiverse. Minute actions made by footballers form a confluence of factors to determine a winner. Indeed, the outcomes of these matches and all of these tournaments are nothing more than a roll of the cosmic dice, a metaphor we admit is too on the nose for those of us who know that in practice the outcomes of football can be deconstructed into a combination of a club's skill and usage of the performance-enhancing drug called ripperonin. And this knowledge of the cosmic dice worries us. Why? Because we're trapped into a way of living that is fundamentally chaotic. That is no way to live. We are like the toy monkey always banging on the cymbals. We smash the cymbals to the beat. We're trapped and we're hypnotised. Help us escape from our obsession from sport. Please.

OOC: In case it's not clear, this RP is designed to be a nonsensical word salad

[Eraman]

The slim win over Kelssek was a huge morale boost for the Eraman national team, especially after the shocking opening match defeat against Efnakia whom Eraman beat home and away just a few months ago in the 91st World Cup qualifiers. The morale boost was very much needed considering that the fixture list does not get easier. Savojarna, on paper the second-best team in the group, was up next for Eraman.

The Savojars who went into the 91st World Cup qualifiers as a pot 3 side had a terrible campaign in the qualifiers where they finished 8th from 11 teams. Then in their opening match of the 83rd Cup of Harmony, they were held by Bollonich to a scoreless draw. That got the Eramanians thinking that this is the best time to play Savojarna. The Eraman's dressing room in the Flynn Ar3na was highly spirited that day.

"We can cause an upset here," shout the national team striker, Wikra Petara in the dressing room before the match.

However, it was Savojarna who got the first goal of the match through Sven Ehlers in the 34th minute after receiving a pass from Vladimir Orakhin. The Monkey Kings however managed to score an equalizer 8 minutes later through a curling shot from outside the penalty box by Samara Grawira to make it 1-1 at the break.

After the break, it was Eraman's turn to get the lead through a Wikra Petara penalty kick only six minutes into the second half after he was brought down in the penalty box by Savojarna center-back Vidkun Nymark.

When the match was set to be in Eraman's favor, Savojarna was awarded a penalty kick after the referee saw a push by Anton Mora while competing for the ball with Lars Alvesen in the penalty box. Although the Eraman goalkeeper Mikla Kala tried to distract Lars Alvesen before the kick, the Partisan Sjoedrhavn striker managed to coolly slot home the penalty to equalize in the 89th minute.

The score remained 2-2 until the full-time whistle.

[Mertagne]

RAPPER WHITE MOTIF TO RELEASE NEW TRACK "CUP OF DISSHARMONY" THROUGH SPORTS ARG

Ever keen to keep on the pulse of the culture, famous Neorudo rap artist and self-titled "avant-garde avenger" White Motif announced today in his weekly #DroogzCast video that he would be dropping a new track this week, entitled "Cup of Dissharmony". The track, set to be released on his upcoming album "Every Anaian's Always Out To Get Me" will be released in short segments across the internet whenever anyone in this week's Cup of Harmony matches scores a goal, either in Tumbra or Mertagne. White Motif claimed he'd split the track into 83 separate pieces, and was going to randomise them to "Keep the nerds busy while the jocks are fighting the big fight".

When White Motif was told in comments by fans that 83 goals are rarely scored across entire tournaments, he seemed to change his mind (but not his tune), claiming he would continue to release segments as goals were scored until Mertagne get knocked out, as after that stage "Not even Fort McKinley will be watching."

White Motif has spent most of the past year in the studio working on new material, having performed a blockbuster sell-out tour off of the back of viral fame after a secret performance in the dressing rooms of two football teams in a match of the latest Baptism of Fire. The upcoming album is posited to be some his best material yet, according to producers. Several tracks have already been released, in the true White Motif style of getting a track out as soon as it's done with little regard for its place in an album or an effective marketing schedule. To his credit, the brand that White Motif has built for himself - one that oozes raw honesty and an "IDGAF" attitude - appears to be popular with fans, with a social media following of epic proportions and routine top spots in the domestic charts of Mertagne and beyond.

Motif has drawn ire from various societal figures for the content of his previous album, "Look Both Ways Before Crossing Me", which included an eleven minute long diss-track that contained the names of every student in the same school and year as White Motif. Many people named in the track had not given permission for their names to be used in this way, and Motif was subsequently sued for defamation in a class action lawsuit. As a unique part of the settlement, which was notably settled out of court, he subsequently released a charity single, also eleven minutes long, which praised every student featured on the diss track.

Fans of the Neorudo born rapper will be hoping that plenty of goals are scored on Matchday 4 of the Cup of Harmony and beyond, in order to piece together the mystery of the new track. Rumours are abound that it is yet another of these prolific diss tracks, and the theory is that entire nations will be more relucant to persue legal action against Motif than his previous assailants.

[Kuraita]

KURAITASTRAVA
international

The Official International News Agency of The Republic of Kuraita

Election results in question after irregularities in Makoja?

Makospils / Arcjuga - We hoped for a smooth transition into the democratic future of Kuraita, but with the election resulting in irregularities noted, there have been protests surrounding the result in the southern district of Makoja as well as in Auksturts and the capital, Arcjuga. Independent international election observers noted minor irregularities that are unlikely to change the result of the election meaningfully, but cast an important shadow on the vote.

It was neither a surprise nor a contested fact that the Citizens for the Future party (PN) of Armandas Cigoras won the parliamentary elections yesterday. The PN, riding on the wave of Cigoras’ role in the liberation of Kuraita from the military regime, managed to swoop the vote and exceeded its polls, scoring 35 of the 100 seats in the parliament. Behind the PN, however, the scramble began: With the Communist Worker’s Party falling behind expectations and the unions lobbying for high voting participation, the Social Democratic Party (SDPK) scored 25 seats, enough to govern together with the PN; however, Cigoras’ favourite partner the Democratic and Liberal Party failed to perform, scoring only 7 seats. The National Alliance scored 10 seats, in line with their most recent polls, but was at the centre of unrest in its power base in Makoja as well as in Arcjuga and Auksturts.

The elections were observed by international observers in a team from Savojarna, Tumbra, the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, and Omerica; while the observer report is still pending, there are irregularities reported in multiple places. Most of them have been observed around Makospils, where old regime supporters hold significant local power. In Boras Indrits’ home area of Teratjuga, a suburb of Makospils, local election officials attempted to restrict access for Savojar observers under the allegation they would be biased for leftist candidates; meanwhile, observers in central Makospils and the smaller town of Liepara have reported NASK supporters publicly assembling around the polling stations, potentially creating a climate of fear for people who do not support the party. In a public appearance on Kuraitan television, the Savojar leader of the commission Johan Bergström has suggested to annul the results from the respective polling stations; this suggestion (which would cost the NASK a potential eleventh seat on the cost of the Social Democrats) has led to protests in Makospils and Liepara organised by military supporters.

In a counter-effort, Auksturts students protested against the signing of the election results, arguing the NASK needs to be excluded from the results altogether and the election repeated. “This shows us that the Army still isn’t in any way committed to democratic ideals that the people of Kuraita want. They should not be allowed to cause our new democracy to be ridiculed and troubled any longer”, a student leader stated; in response, NASK leadership condemned and dismissed them as “self-centered children”. Amidst the mess, demonstrations of unions in Arcjuga have also been disturbed by NASK supporters, who are accusing them of lobbying against the acceptance of the Makospils votes. While Indrits has admitted defeat and only challenged the deletion of results in four voting stations, NASK vice president Aleksandras Labauskas suggested widespread influence by the observers and the centrist parties to prevent voting for the NASK. “We want to re-iterate that none of our observers in any other district than in four specific precincts have observed anything irregular that has not been corrected within the time of voting”, Bergström stated publicly. “The comments made by Mr. Labauskas are not in line with our observations, and we want to emphasise this election has been exemplary in most precincts”.

In his victory speech, Cigoras did not focus on the irregularities. “There have been some reports of difficulties”, he acknowledged, “but by most accounts today has been a celebration of the new Kuraitan democracy. We are hard at work to make the best coalition that will represent Kuraitan interests and people, and will find a way to work with each other to bring a bright future to our country and people”, the night’s biggest winner stated in an Arcjuga address.

[Tjorl]

Tjorl sits in last place after defeat to Garifunya

Entering the third matchday, both Tjorl and Garifunya were looking to snatch their first win of the tournament after only gaining one point in their first two matches. Unlike last game, Martha Sieger finally got on the starting line-up as the left-back replacing Karoline Steinssen, who isn't in great form in the past few games. Other than that, there weren't any changes to the starting eleven. Garifunya had some chances in the first ten minutes, yet all were either shut down by the two Tjorlish centre-halves or parried away by Stefan Johanssen. Tjorl themselves found themselves with decent opportunities to maybe challenge Garifunyan goalkeeper Jurren Klompenmaker. However, he was able to easily intercept these chances with little to no work done. The first real big threat on goal was when Garifunya's Machiel van Harten hit a really good strike that seemed to be sailing towards the top left corner. Unfortunately for van Harten, the ball hit the underside of the crossbar and bounced the wrong way, and the score remained at nil-nil.A few minutes later, however, Boudewijn van der Weide was able to skip past a number of defenders. Despite the brilliant dribbling skill displayed, his toe-poke was saved by Johanssen, but it rebounded back into play. Sonel Augustin then pounced on the perfect chance to put the Garifunyans in charge, putting them up by one goal.

Again, Tjorl felt the immense pressure to get one back, just like they did in the other matches. Just two minutes before halftime, Elisabet Kruse's shot was pushed away by Klompenmaker, giving a corner for De Frostkjemper. Johan Kalbfleisch then took a great corner, which was headed in by Tjorl's main goal-poacher, Nikolaj Eriksen, levelling the match. With so little time left in the first half, not much action occurred before the halftime whistle sounded. Even after a few adjustments at halftime, both squads failed to produce any crucial opportunities. However, after a clumsy tackle and a yellow card for Tjorl's Harald Giehl, Machiel van Harten was in a good place to convert the spot-kick from 20 yards out. He certainly took the chance brilliantly, and Johanssen's long reach was not enough to keep it out. De Frostkjemper looked to be in trouble again only six minutes later, when Osman Ledeboer found an open van der Weide, who then chipped the keeper to double Garifunya's lead. After now going down 3-1, Tjorl certainly looked down and out. Artur Paulsen tried to get them back, however, as his header caught out Klompenmaker, slicing the deficit to one goal. Tjorl's efforts were still not enough, as Garifunya left the stadium with maximum points. After another loss, Tjorl now sits at the bottom of Group D with only one point to their name. Their next match-up will be against Ranoria, who are currently second in the group with a game-in-hand.

[Sendhang]

Sendhang went into the third match of the 83rd Cup of Harmony brimming with confidence. After the impressive display in the 91st World Cup qualifiers campaign where they finished fourth behind Adab, Zwangzug, and Tumbra with 40 points, no one can blame them for thinking that they were in their best shape. The defeat against Cassadaigua in their opening match of the 83rd Cup of Harmony reminded them of the taste of defeat but when they bounced back immediately with an impressive 3-2 victory over the more fancied Valentine Z, the confidence returned.

However, in the match against Brookstation, the Rice Farmers were almost disappointed when they were shocked early on by a long-range kick by Brookstation midfielder, Louis Vassell in the second minute of the game. The team coached by Teuku Irfan was lucky to equalize ten minutes later through KS Larantuka's right-winger, Ramon Kalbasi. The goal in the 12th minute resulted in a 1-1 tie until the end of the first half before the result changed in the final minute of the second half.

The second half of the game saw Brookstation so aggressively attack after attack but failed to find a good finish until they were shocked in the 90th minute. Teuku Salahudin, Sendhang's number 1 striker, became the hero when he managed to beat the Brookstation goalkeeper in the last minute of the match before an additional three minutes were given by the referee. The 2-1 score remained until the end of additional time, allowing Sendhang to record their second victory of the campaign in front of about 58,000 fans, thus brightening their chances to reach the knockout round of the Cup of Harmony.

[Xanneria]

Top-11 Transfer Window Targets

11: RANGER SELLTICK / HIBERNARDO SELLTICK (University of West Troy-Palace City / University of Denalia-Buccaneer Bay) The Selltick brothers are a pair of twin brothers from the Hawthorne area that came into prominence in their high school seasons> they are twins, but both have said they don't want to be signed to the same team. Despite being twins their play style is different with Ranger being more of a tackler while Hibernardo gained prominence for his passing skills and could be converted to a DM if nessicary.

10: MAX BURRIS (East End FC) - Burris is a unique prospect. The first player from Sanford Falls to ever appear in FLOX, he signed as an FA for East End FC last season. We know how East End's season went. It was almost comedic in how bad they were. Sure Burris should be heading to Beta or Gamme Division right? Well no, Burris was not to blame for the collapse, the aggressive play of GK Pinellas Hillsborough had been more of an issue than most of the midfielders and defenders.

9: EMMA REDMOND (Iona School) The 6'0" High School Keeper was teamamtes with Capital FC's Allie Jordan where she rose to prominence as an HS Phenom who once out dueled NT GK Tero Heppenen now of Kven FK. She is also the only High Schooler to make Bicycle Kick Magazines "Prospect XI"

8: KYLE FALCON (Hagejoki) One of the last reminants of the old regime, Kyle still has a few good years left in him. Sadly the situation in Hagejoki just got worse and worse and the team would have been relegated if not for the league's expansion to 16 teams. Falcon at worse can give a team some veteran leadership, as he has been doing with the folks at the National Team. But for now he's just looking for a home.

7: AUSTIN NAVARRO / JUSTIN INGRAM (Delano CIty SC) A fued between Navarro and Ingram over playing time at Delano City lead to both being put up on the window at the end of the year and Navarro defecting to the SWEN NT. Both these players proved they could score during the World Cup Qualifiers, but both teams were also smart not to start the respective players in the SWEN / Xanneria Matchup.

6: JARI JUUPS (University of Denalia-Loy City) The leading college player in Xanneria, Juups is an interesting prospect. A child of Baltic immigrants, Juups lead his team UD-Loy City to their best result in the Southwest Conference since 2022. Juups can score from anywhere and has a powerful kick that has on multiple times scored from midfield.

5: SALVADOR REETZ Once a top prospect at the glorious 1836 Tacoma teams that also feature Maookie Danube, Reetz suffered a massive knee injury right around the time of transfering to Hawthorne. He slowly gained back the talent and speed that made him such a tough prospect and scored 13 goals in 22 games for the Kickers last season. While he's 36 years old, he still has enough gas in the tank to hit 40 and still be (no pun intended) kicking!

4: LIV BROWNSTREET (Hawthorne Kickers) One of the mainstays of the Xannerian National Team, the long time Kickers and prior to that United Marietta star, wants to play abroad now that her career is winding down. A durable defender, Liv is one of the better players to have come through the FLOX ranks, also one of the most quiet and reserved players in NT history. She may not be boisterous and loud, but if you need a silent leader, she's the one.

3: DAVID IOWA (U of South Delano) A surprising talent, Iowa came out of no where to lead little South Delano to a Super 4 Semi-Final in 2041. Two years later the now senior at the University of South Delano, is ready for the world and has shown in worldcup qualifiers he's a very well rounded player, even scoring on a handful of penalty kicks. He is said to be the most fundamentally sound player to ever come from Xanneria.

2: MARK HAILEY JR (Pearlham SC) A second generation player from Pearlham, Hailey's dad was a classy midfielder for most the early Xannerian World Cup teams. Mark Jr has stated, although he loves Pearlham and the SC, he wants to move abroad and play. Mark has been a stable player at the Left Back and occasionally right back spot, he's a thorough defender and can do well in any of the back slots.

1: EVAN JEFFERSON JR (Austin City) The biggest shock in the TW was Evan Jefferson Jr. Austin City put him up on day one to the shock of many as no one saw this move coming. in the oncoming fallout, many suspected that even though Jefferson had been doing well in the Omega Division, the fact he was 7 goals behind ZInna Thurstain in Goals allowed and some medicore WCQ performances meant that AC wanted to see if they could go elsewhere. He will make an exceptional Keeper abroad though.

(Montalban 62') Krytenia 1-1 Xanneria (Bryse 84')

[Valentine Z]

Part 3 – There was a chance, just not in this world.

Lead Ambassador Germaine Athena “Mercy De Herzhafter Schutzengel” Sylvi Angelina Zoe Sophia Jen Alanna Rx J. Hailie Ziegler Halls Constance Pauletta Ginevra Lola Lauran Ambra Tschanz checked on her equipment, perhaps one more time would not hurt anyone, she thought to herself. Attached to the Valentian Kittens to act as a paramedic and a lot more, she has every item of mass healing and regeneration to aid the injured players, depending on the severity of it all, as well as whatever may be within or against the rules in International Football. There is little to no rules in that, other than asking on whether the Valentians could get the other opponents injured, hopefully by accident and not without sheer malice; after all, you don’t always see a Valentian going after someone with a mace. Going back to Germaine, she has her usual array of mechanical tools – from tweezers to varying sizes and types of scissors to even pliers and stud removers. On the more Valentian technology side, there are things such as biofoam, a small and limited arrays of nanobots, heart and EKG monitors of impeccable accuracy, wearables, and a lot others. It was going well for the first two matches, then the first casualty on the field happened. “Perhaps casualty is a strong word,” she said calmly, thanking the paramedics and volunteers as they brought in a Valentian Kitten on a stretcher, having been quickly substituted by another player in a whim. Putting on a pair of gloves and a mask, she then placed an oxygen mask on the Kitten who got injured while relaying a slew of instructions to the other medics that are around her. “Ahh, I will take it from here for this patient. Name of patient: Martina Anastasia Hedvig X. Luna Bukvić. Goalkeeper for Valentine Z’s Kittens. Cause of injury, please? Ahh? Hmm… running head-first to the goal post? Oh dear, that does sound painful!” She did a quick diagnostic, of which there is a minor concussion and onset of a headache, but other than that, Martina should be fine after treatment and rest for 3 to 4 days, which meant that she was going to be completely out for the rest of the season. Writing her diagnostics, Germaine then worked with the other medical personnel in order to wheel Martina to the lounge used by the Valentian Kittens, in a spare bedroom with a few medical equipment already set up here and there to accommodate her. “You guys are amazingly quick,” Germaine remarked with a bow, “Thank you. Now then, please do pardon me, we will need privacy.”

Markus would be the first to run straight into the room, Germaine motioning him to be quiet and to calm down a little as well. “Oh goodness, I told them to be very careful, the game isn’t that important for this!” he started, trying to catch his breath, “Sorry, I was just a bit worried. I mean, I know our medicine has improved over the years but still- anyway, please Germaine, what is her status?” Adjusting her scrub, Germaine calmly and happily explained, so as not to alarm Markus as well as to not sound condescending, “Oh, don’t worry about her too much. She’s fine and stable; just the usual precautions and healing measures for her to recover. I gave her some energy shots, the foam, the usual.” Markus was relieved. It was from the beginning that he knew about the prowess and the performance of the Valentian Kittens, so from the speech of the previous debriefing, he would have expected them to win against the Dagans. However, a victory or otherwise, he would never push them too hard, and certainly not to the point of seeing them hurt as so. Part of him ached a little, even if it was only his second season with him after he took over the team from Clarissa Alanis Star Samantha. “Some good news, I suppose. But I will have to say, I really didn’t want them to get hurt like this. I mean, it’s part and parcel of it, but I would never drive them like this, you know what I mean?” Germaine nodded understandingly, with a remark of her own, “I do think you are a great and understanding coach, I have no doubts on that. On the other hand, please do think about it this way, especially because now it is in the heat of the moment and you may have forgotten – they weren’t intimidated, or are driven by fear out of repercussion. Injuries happen, it’s normal. I mean, the previous seasons have had their fair share of ankle sprains, arms nearly breaking, toes bruising, many things! Smacking head-first onto a goalpost is admittedly a terrifying outcome, but with the Valentian methods, Martina will be fine!” “Thanks, Germaine,” Markus said, giving the medic cum lead ambassador a firm pat on the shoulder, to which she was fine with, “Ahh, it’s no problem. That’s what I do best, after all. Hmm, though I think after this, you might need to tell your goalkeepers to keep their heads intact.”

She paused for a while as she finally took off her mask, as well as the gloves, and then put them into the portable recycling device. She pressed the button on the side, causing it to whirr and make some lights and noise, along with a bit of rumbling which was audible but not enough to disturb Martina, especially not with how it’s sitting on a table at a distance. After 10 seconds, the machine went off with a ding, with the door swinging open to present a brand new mask, along with the pair of gloves, all sterilized and without the trace of microbes and any other organic matter on it; it was as good as when it was first manufactured and opened in a box in a typical Valentian clinic.

The Valentian Kittens’ Roster has also been updated in order to account for the injury. For the time being, Martina is out of the entire match in order to recuperate, and would like to state that the Dagans are absolutely blameless.

[Mertagne]

Matchday Four Scores - Tumbran Half

Group A
Yuezhou 2–1 Aleirave
Chartistan 1–1 The Cordian Isles
Audioslavia 1–1 Indusse

_  Group A                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Cordian Isles             4   2  2  0   10   6  +4    8
2 Yuezhou                       4   2  2  0   13  11  +2    8
3 Audioslavia                   3   1  2  0    5   3  +2    5
4 Indusse                       4   1  2  1    8   8   0    5
5 Delte                         3   1  0  2    4   6  −2    3
6 Chartistan                    3   0  2  1    2   4  −2    2
7 Aleirave                      3   0  0  3    4   8  −4    0

Group B
Brookstation 0–3 Cassadaigua
Sarzonia 0–1 Sendhang
United Adaikes 2–2 Saterun

_  Group B                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Cassadaigua                   3   3  0  0    9   1  +8    9
2 Sendhang                      4   3  0  1    6   5  +1    9
3 Sarzonia                      3   2  0  1    3   1  +2    6
4 United Adaikes                3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
5 Valentine Z                   3   1  0  2    4   7  −3    3
6 Brookstation                  4   1  0  3    8  12  −4    3
7 Saterun                       4   0  1  3    5   8  −3    1

Group C
HUElavia 0–0 TJUN-ia
Soldera 1–3 Kuraita
Astograth 2–1 Chromatika

_  Group C                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 HUElavia                      4   2  1  1    8   5  +3    7
2 Astograth                     3   2  0  1    6   4  +2    6
3 Chromatika                    4   2  0  2    8   8   0    6
4 Kuraita                       4   2  0  2    6   7  −1    6
5 TJUN-ia                       3   1  2  0    5   4  +1    5
6 Soldera                       3   1  0  2    5   8  −3    3
7 Baggieland                    3   0  1  2    4   6  −2    1

Group D
Tjorl 0–1 Ranoria
Pluvia and the Saxean Isles 0–0 Garifunya
Eura 0–3 Milchama

_  Group D                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Milchama                      4   2  1  1   13   9  +4    7
2 Ranoria                       3   2  1  0    3   0  +3    7
3 Eura                          3   2  0  1    3   3   0    6
4 Garifunya                     4   1  2  1    4   4   0    5
5 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles   3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
6 Electrum                      3   1  0  2    4   8  −4    3
7 Tjorl                         4   0  1  3    6   9  −3    1

[PotatoFarmers]

Poafmersia 1–1 Kimi-Suomi
Goalscorers: Jordan Huerta 5' (assisted by Janelle Frederick)
Poafmersia Lineup (4-3-3): Nicole Potts (c); Mac Rojas, Nacro Astro, Ali Berger, Natalia Abbott; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Magreta Rym; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitues: Agapito Murphy (Huerta 60'); Lesia Astrauskas (Rym 77'); Diamond Byan (Astro 82')

Juvencus 2–4 Poafmersia
Goalscorers: Jordan Huerta 12' (assisted by Leontiy Seet), 27' (assisted by Michael Jackson); Janelle Frederick 40' (assisted by Jackson); Leontiy Seet 70' (assisted by Jackson)
Poafmersia Lineup (4-3-3): Nicole Potts (c); Mitchel Rosales, Diamond Byan, Ali Berger, Natalia Abbott; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Magreta Rym; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitues: Tessa Bjarnesen (Frederick 74'); Erle Sartini (Jackson 80'); Lesia Astrauskas (Berg 85')

Poafmersia 3–4 Cabo Azure
Goalscorers: Jordan Huerta 6' (assisted by Leontiy Seet), 89'; Michael Jackson 53' (pen),
Poafmersia Lineup (4-3-3): Nicole Potts (c); Mitchel Rosales, Diamond Byan, Ali Berger, Natalia Abbott; Michael Jackson, Min Berg, Magreta Rym; Janelle Frederick, Jordan Huerta, Leontiy Seet
Substitues: Aapeli Shea (Berg 65'); Nacro Astro (Berger 76'); Mac Rojas (Abbott 86')

7 teams in a group. And the Red Panjias somehow managed to get the toughest fixture list possible, playing 6 games back to back before a bye on Matchday 7 while others play out their final games in the tournament. This is what made the team rather anxious at the starting few fixtures - they had to do everything to play their best, because they have no control over their final fate if they leave it to the very end. And no rest in between matches, unlike what the others have - that doesn't help the team's aspirations whatsoever.

The first game against Kimi-Suomi, to be real honest, was a warm up match for the team. Aapeli Shea came into the tournament as first choice, but was left out of the match after being down from stomach flu the day before. It turned out to be an okay decision, with Magreta Rym stepping up in Shea's absence. Against Kimi-Suomi, while the opponents were not as technical as many other opponents, their determination continued to frustrate the Red Panjias. The players knew very well that there was something that needs to be gained out of this fixture, but their mindset probably wasn't in tip top conditions, as the team failed to obtain the winner and had to settle for a point. Jordan Huerta maintained his red hot form that he accumulated for his club, and continued to bring that into the Cup of Harmony - by creating the fastest goal in the tournament, a 5th minute solid effort with help of the team. After that, however, he couldn't manage to find the second, and none of the wingers or his substitue Agapito Murphy could do just that.

Second game was against Juvencus. For all the Sonnel-based team's run in the World Cup qualifiers, this was not their tournament, as the Red Panjias unusually dominated them throughout the game. The only problem that was really obvious was the defence - causing the Sonnelians to get the consolation free goal which they weren't supposed to be getting based on normal Poafmersian standards. And that led to the problems against Cabo Azure - again, a rising new side who has the potential to surprise our guys. And while our guys fought hard, their personal experience clouded some of their decision making, resulting in the unfortunate loss against Cabo Azure. The only positive was the return of Aapeli Shea - while he didn't play the full 90 minutes for fear of his physical fitness, his introduction did provide some help in trying to stable the ship against a team who just fought even harder after they were behind for the second time following Jackson's penalty.

The next match would be against top side Starblaydia, and that game would not be an easy feat for the Red Panjias, who have dropped to second seeds in the Cup of Harmony for the first time in quite a number of cycles. A point against them would be crucial in the battle for a good playoff opponent.

[Tumbra]

Matchday Four - Mertagnian Half Cutoff

Group E
Xanneria 0–1 Mertagne
Darmen 4–3 Krytenia
Ochre Islands 3–2 Cardenao

. Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mertagne               3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
  Ochre Islands          3   2  1  0    9   6  +3    7
3 Darmen                 3   2  0  1    7   6  +1    6
4 Eshialand              3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
5 Cardenao               4   1  1  2    5   7  −2    4
6 Xanneria               4   0  2  2    6   8  −2    2
7 Krytenia               4   0  2  2    4   7  −3    2

Group F
Kelssek 4–1 Gortolekua
Savojarna 0–0 Sargossa
Bollonich 0–1 Eraman

. Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eraman                 4   2  1  1    4   3  +1    7
2 Sargossa               4   1  3  0    9   7  +2    6
3 Kelssek                4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
4 Efnakia                3   1  2  0    3   2  +1    5
5 Savojarna              3   0  3  0    2   2   0    3
6 Gortolekua             3   0  2  1    5   8  −3    2
7 Bollonich              3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    1

Group G
Acastanha 3–0 Wreckeria
Srednjaci 4–6 Tikariot
Oberour Ar Moro 2–1 Ceni

. Group G              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tikariot               4   3  0  1   14   9  +5    9
2 Acastanha              4   2  1  1   11  10  +1    7
3 Ceni                   4   2  0  2    7   6  +1    6
4 Oberour Ar Moro        3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
5 Mercedini              3   1  0  2    3   5  −2    3
  Srednjaci              3   1  0  2    6   8  −2    3
7 Wreckeria              3   1  0  2    1   4  −3    3

Group H
Cabo Azure 3–5 Kimi-Suomi
Starblaydia 2–1 Poafmersia
Gnejs 0–1 Fort McKinley

. Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Fort McKinley          4   2  2  0    7   5  +2    8
2 Starblaydia            3   2  1  0    6   4  +2    7
3 Cabo Azure             4   2  1  1    9   9   0    7
4 Kimi-Suomi             3   1  1  1    8   7  +1    4
5 Poafmersia             4   1  1  2    9   9   0    4
6 Juvencus               3   1  0  2    6   8  −2    3
7 Gnejs                  3   0  0  3    0   3  −3    0

The next cutoff window will occur approximately 48 hours from this post.

RP Bonus Information
For the purposes of these statistics, multiple RPs by one participant within a cutoff window will be counted as one combined RP.

28 participants earned RP bonus.
The mean RP score was 73.04% of the maximum.
The median RP score was 75.00% of the maximum.
The standard deviation of RP scores was 19.16%.
6 RPs scored 90% or higher of the maximum bonus.

[Delte]

---

Marshlock & Garga 269-9 (48.0) - Askirk Parishioners 216 all out (37.2)
Sports Correspondent Polka Lunn in Marshlock Spa for the Wetland Review

---

Marshlock win by 53 runs (DLS Method)

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, but certainly mention should be made of the welcome return of the test-crackitt season in the valley, just in time for the Cup of Harmony rest day in Tumbra. Marshlock & Garga started the defence of their Parish Championship title with a Daehanjeiguk-Liventia-Swartaz calculated victory over the unlucky parishioners of Askirk. As one might expect up here in the wet and warm highlands, midges played a significant part in proceedings, with several batsmen complaining they could not get a fair crack on the ball with all the air-kill stuck to it on the flight into the crease, while the bowlers complained frequently of midge-rash on their palms. Umpire Dibbens refused to permit gloves, citing rule 15 - ungentlemanly attire, and the match proceeded with a perpetual hum of both midges and complaints.

From: Oswark Cracquet Club, Commissioner's Office
Room 6, Corridor U, OCC House, Oswark Oval

To: Minister for Culture, Sports and other Charitable Activities, The Prosaic Union of Gnejs
cc: Department of Civil Society and Sports, of the same

My Esteemed Fellows,

In light of recent disclosures on the infamous NSleaks wiki of your governmental concerns about the lack of appropriate literacy in your nation vis-à-vis the noble sport of 'cricket', as you term it, we here at the OCC are very keen to assist in the education of the general populace in the art of the gentleman's pastimes with willow & cork. We are quite sure that, conducted properly, with the right equipment, education and etiquette and the natural sporting nature of the refined gentleman, such a game will add new layers of class and civility to Gnejsian society. Given time and the proper resources, your Prosaic Union will undoubtedly prosper and the poor people around the margins will benefit from the trickle-down effect of good deportment, improving their own prospects. Somewhat.

Please find enclosed a copy of the latest Plemons' Almanackle, a comprehensive guide to the sport which, I will politely and with all deference point out, is correctly called Cracquet and not, as you have it, "cricket" - which sounds a little like the local term the poor people around the margins here tend to use, namely crackitt. I have also enclosed a 20% discount voucher for a lifetime subscription to the almanackle which I can heartily recommmend to keep you abreast of the latest developments in the sport, although we at the OCC of course try to make sure there are no latest developments in the sport as this runs entirely contrary to the spirit of the organisation.

Should you need any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact the OCC, as we are the designated authority in the valley. As a personal aside, I always have complimentary tickets at the Oswark Oval if you would care to send any VIP officials (in suitable attire) to join me for one of our fourteen-day test match specials.

Kind regards, Imryn Numbrill
Commissioner, Oswark Cracquet Club

Enc.

---

Ready Player 7: Untto Squaker
Vignettes of The Representatives

---

Centrehalf, age 39, for Oswark Town; rustler and salvager - Over in the next valley, life couldn’t be any more different. There are the aurochs, honey mastodons, megamynodons and feraldactyls wandering freely in the country’s lushly polluted forests; there are the paradox swamps and temporal bogwells and other patches of deep fluid time contamination; the empty towns and cities full of ghosts; the sickly glowing River Smite, a meandering, tepid sludgemire; the permanent suicide-grey skies and the ruins of the exploded Dyness-B Refinery where it all went so horribly wrong. There but for the grace of a strong North-Westerly gale go the Delts - weather conditions thirty years ago saved the Delte Valley from becoming the horror of the next valley along, and the one after that, and a couple after that too. No-one walks there now except the weird and wonderful beasts that crawl out of the bogwells from other worlds in other times… and Untto Squaker with his crew of extra-territorial rustlers and salvagers. With a special License to Glean issued by the Delte River Trust, his main job is to herd back lost sheep and cattle that have inadvertently wandered over the hills from the high farmsteads of the Delte valley. Approved side operations include bringing the odd giant pleistocenic capybara carcass in for butchery and resale in the ‘rare meats’ cooler, and net-fishing in temporal bogwells for future-tech booty or valuable antiques. Once they found a crate of ‘Henderson’s Yorkshire Relish’, which proved a smash hit in valley cooking with several food technicians attempting to resynthesise the extraordinary condiment from another world, with mixed success. The top-selling Deltic Sauce is the closest (and only moderately comparable) recreation of that legendary find, which has been all but exhausted now save for a couple of precious bottles at the Prince Tyrbert Hotel. It would cost you your house to have the waiter add a couple of drops on your truffles. Untto knows that if he can pull up another crate of ‘Sheffield’s Sauce’ from one of the bogwells in the ruined Smite Valley, he will be able to retire ten times over and become a high roller in Taxhavn.

[Darmen]

Darmeni Football Association
No. 37 Waxweiler Street, Scott City, MET017

Paul Callaghan
Chief Communications Officer
Phone: 01017-428-591
E-mail: pcallaghan1,@darfa.dar

National Football Series
No. 17 Delany Avenue, Scott City, MET063

Fitzroy Dupont
Executive Vice President, Communications
Phone: 01063-714-326
E-mail: dupontf,@nfs.dar

JOINT PRESS RELEASE
New Roster Regulations for DFA and NFS Competitions for 2055-56 Season

SCOTT CITY — Tuesday, June 1, 2055 — Following the successful conclusion of discussions held between the Darmeni Football Association (DFA) and the National Football Series (NFS), as well as other parties, in particular the Association of Professional Footballers (APF); the DFA and NFS are pleased to announce that new roster regulations for all competitions organized by the two bodies have been agreed upon.

The first change in the regulations is the maximum number of substitutes which may be used during a match in Series A and National Cup competition. Previously this number was three (3), but will be raised to five (5), to bring it in line with the regulations governing Series B play as well as improve player welfare. In National Cup competition, an additional sixth (6) substitute will be available to both teams should the match enter extra time. To ensure that the pace of play of a match is not affected detrimentally, there will be a maximum of three (3) substitution opportunities, in addition to halftime, for each team during a match. Discussions regarding the use of so called "concussion substitutes" are still ongoing and no change in the regulations regarding them will occur until after the 2055-56 season concludes.

The second change in the regulations is the number of named substitutes each team may submit on its gameday roster. This number shall be raised from twelve (12) to fifteen (15). In line with this expansion of the gameday roster, the total number of players a club may have registered will be expanded accordingly, from twenty-five (25) players to twenty-six (26). Of these twenty-six (26) players:

• three (3) players must be goalkeepers (the same as previous regulations),
• at least two (2) players must be female (new regulation),
• at least three (3) players must be U-23 (new regulation).

There remains no limit on the number of foreign players a club may have registered. Additionally, the minimum age for players to appear in senior football will be raised from fifteen (15) to seventeen (17). Should the number of healthy players a club has available to it fall below twenty-six (26), that club may, if it operates a youth academy, call up as many players as necessary from its youth academy to ensure a full strength roster, provided that the player(s) in question have not played a youth match in the previous 48 hours, nor are scheduled to play a youth match in the 72 hours following the senior match and that such players are not permitted to appear in the senior starting XI without special permission from the DFA.

The DFA and NFS look forward to their continuing partnership in developing the regulations governing the footballing competitions in Darmen. The two bodies will next meet in November at a date to be confirmed to begin discussion regarding regulation changes for the 2056-57 season.

---

The Darmeni Football Association is the national governing body for association football in Darmen. Founded in 2036, the DFA organizes the national football teams for men, women and youth; as well as the National Cup competition for club teams. It is the DFA's responsibility to extend sanctioning to all other footballing bodies within Darmen and to represent Darmen before the World Cup Committee and the Confederación Rushmori de Fútbol. The DFA is currently led by its president, Peter Bates.

The National Football Series is the association responsible for administrating the primary professional footballing competitions of Darmen, namely the Series A and Series B competitions for seniors and the Series Y competition for youth footballers. The NFS was founded in 2036 and is currently led by its commissioner, Jon MacDonald.

[Eura]

Eloise,

I will cut straight to the point. They are a fucking mess.

When Minister Sumer came to me with his band of merry men, I was very clear with him about our position. Any Euran political cover for their little royal rumble would be contingent on decisive support from the elected representatives of the Pasargan people. Democracy had to prevail - or else. In an act of kindness and goodwill I did some wining and dining in the run up to the key vote, trying to float the argument in private without making it look like outright interference. Then the politicians decided, and it did not go Minister Sumer’s way.

Smart operators would have seen this as a moment to change tack and consolidate. Perhaps they could have entered talks with Azra and Iskender and persuaded them that, given how close run a thing the vote was, they should forfeit more power to Parliament and tip the balance away from the monarchy. Peace, but at a cost. I have seen your data briefings from Bastion and how divided this country is – and I have seen it in practice in the streets. The Pasargan people were ripe for a crisis-ending compromise. From our perspective this was clearly the ideal outcome, protecting the Euran interest in Pasargan stability, expanding democracy and reducing the power of the monarchy, while keeping Euran hands nice and clean throughout.

And then they tried to off the siblings.

Of course they deny it but I do not believe them. Perhaps the OSI know something I do not. In my mind, however, the moment that first bullet was fired was the moment Ezid’s allies became dead to us. They have set off a bomb under an otherwise manageable situation, and it would now be unthinkable for the Euran government to be associated with these people. I have therefore assumed it proper to urgently request a meeting with Azra in order to reassure her that Eura had no hand in this nonsense. If this is not our position going forward then please consider this my resignation letter.

I specified Azra because, from my reading of the two of them, the Queen-to-be is the more level headed figure and will not make the mistake of a brutal or militarised response, unless she is cornered. Iskander is a very different character and I would not trust him to resist uprooting Parliament altogether and becoming an autocrat. Word on the town is she will be taking the throne anyway after a parliamentary vote, but after the attempted hit, who knows?

Whether it is Ezid, Iskander or Azra or someone else on the throne was not inherently the primary concern for us. However, the rebels have forced us to pick a side, in my view, and I fear what they might try next. You can imagine my concern that our Ministry of Defence has adopted a stony silence. You’re the Foreign Secretary; what is going on? There is talk of civil war in the streets of one of our major allies and I have received no intelligence on what is going on. Please ensure I am updated immediately so that I may prepare a contingency for an embassy evacuation. Better yet, get the military to talk to their Pasargan counterparts and make sure this madness goes no further.

Yours,

Tobias Webb
Ambassador of the United Federation of Eura to the Dual Islands of Pasarga

[Krytenia]

To the tune of this certified choon.

If I was a striker then I'd be putting them away,
And Devereux would not be here 'cause that man just can't play.
I would be the forward that you'd heard about before,
But I'm only watching, and we're crashing through the floor.

If I was a striker then I'd be scoring two or three,
I'd circle 'round defenders 'cause my feet they couldn't see,
In my sky and navy, you'd be sure I'd never miss,
But I'm only watching, and we're into the abyss.

We're off the pace, man,
Off the pace, man,
We came to take the trophy back,
Now we're in a hole;
We're tied for last place, man
And we're getting sent home.

If I was a striker then I'd be the best in town,,
Mertagne and Xan and Ochres would all be going down,
But we're stuck at the bottom, we're being left behind,
'Cause I'm only watching, and a win we just can't find.

We're off the pace, man,
Off the pace, man,
We came to take the trophy back,
Now we're in a hole;
We're tied for last place, man
And we're getting sent home.

Alex, please why don't you just go?
As long as you're on the pitch, we're flying low,
Flying low...
We're flying low-oh-oh-oh!

We're off the pace, man,
Off the pace, man,
We came to take the trophy back,
Now we're in a hole;
We're tied for last place, man, oh
Now we're sunk without trace man
Nothing but, nothing but, nothing but waste, man!
Nothing but, nothing but, nothing but waste, man!

We're off the pace, man,
Off the pace, man,
We came to take the trophy back,
Now we're in a hole;
We're tied for last place, man
And we're getting sent home.

[Baggieland]

Fact-Finding Mission to Baggieland

By Directorate General Nina Stark and Senior Advisor Øystein Øye of the Gnejsian Department of Civil Society and Sports

Lei Siulung: "Good morning and welcome to Baggieland."

Øystein Øye: "Good morning Lei Siulung, we saw your judo bout against Gertrude Molineux. I was very impressed by your skill."

Nina Stark: "Yes, we all were, you must have received many accolades upon your return home?"

Lei Siulung: "Oh… it was nothing."

Øystein Øye: "Come now, don't be so modest!"

Lei Siulung: "It really was nothing."

Nina Stark: "I'm sure the King and Queen will have something special for you in the Honours List. I can see it now: Dame Lei Siulung, Most Noble Order of the Garter."

Lei Siulung: "I'm not holding my breath."

Øystein Øye: "As you know, we need to do some fact-finding in order to implement these cultural changes to Gnejsian society – all thanks to you – let's start with eating lasagna with a spoon. We've seen you Baggies eating your lasagna and we Gnejsians have even tried it ourselves a couple of times, with err… varying degrees of success. As straight forward as it sounds?"

Lei Siulung: "Yeah, no surprises. Get your spoonful today, as we Baggies say."

Nina Stark: "And bowing to fast-food workers. Any particular kind of bow?"

Lei Siulung: "No, whatever the customer deems appropriate. Just keep one step away from the counter, do your bow, step forward and then place your order."

Øystein Øye: "Okay, both of those are straight forward enough. Hopefully our awareness campaigns will work."

Nina Stark: "That leaves cricket. We just conducted a national survey, and unfortunately the average Gnejsian doesn't know anything at all about this sport."

Øystein Øye: "Let's start with the simplest aspect of the game first. The break for tea. I quite like a cup of tea myself from time to time and I believe that I have mastered tea etiquette. Put four teaspoons of tea-leaves into the pot, but you can't say 'four', you must always say 'three teaspoons and one for the pot'. I believe it is good luck to say this. Then pour a drop of milk into each cup plus one or two teaspoons of sugar. Once the pot is brewed, pour the tea into each cup via a tea-strainer."

Lei Siulung: "What a palava! No, just put some milk in a cup, with your fingers plonk three or four cubes of sugar in there, then the teabag. Just got to add the boiling water then. Be careful when you take out the teabag and give it that final squeeze. I always burn my fingers."

Nina Stark: "Hmm… your way is more time efficient, but I'm worried about that burning your fingers bit."

Øystein Øye: "Absolutely. We'll have to get the Gnejsian Health and Safety Board to thoroughly test this."

Nina Stark: "Okay, let's move onto the actual game of cricket."

Lei Siulung: "Luckily for you, I'm here with Garry Greenidge, the cricket captain of Baggieland."

Øystein Øye: "That's fantastic, we can learn from the master!"

Garry Greenidge: "Thanks for asking me here Lei Siulung, it will be my pleasure to explain the rules of this beautiful game to Gnejs. Say, shouldn't you be reporting on the Cup of Harmony?"

Lei Siulung: "Yes, I should! But the King thinks that this silly cultural battle with Gnejs is more important."

Garry Greenidge: "Right, cricket is played on an oval field between two teams of eleven players. In the centre is a rectangular pitch, which at either end has a wicket. The wicket comprises of a leg-stump, middle-stump, off-stump and two bails. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah… "

Nina Stark: "Huh? Wait… did you just say googly?"

Garry Greenidge: "Yes, a googly is a potent weapon."

Nina Stark: "Did you get all that?"

Øystein Øye: "I think so, but I'm not sure where we're going to get a golden duck from. I think it best if we actually try our hands at this game, in order to get a better understanding."

Garry Greenidge: "Unfortunately, there are no domestic matches being played now, as the national team is preparing for an upcoming World Cup. We could try HMS Onslaught, they're always having a game on the deck of their submarine. Let's go to their secret hideout."

Nina Stark: "Do you know where their secret hideout is?"

Lei Siulung: "Everyone knows!"

Later at the Secret Hideout

Captain Fletcher: "Ahoy there! Good to see you again Lei Siulung and Captain Greenidge."

Lei Siulung: "Hi! Can you show these good people from Gnejs how to play cricket? Oh look, there's the Baggielandian Defence Minister – your old boss – drinking in your tavern."

Captain Fletcher: "He's welcome, as long as he doesn't want his submarine back! Come on then you two, I'll let you bat first!"

Nina Stark receives the first delivery and knocks the ball along the deck of the submarine.

Lei Siulung and Garry Greenidge: "RUN, Nina, RUN!"

Captain Fletcher: "Right, that's two runs to Gnejs. Beginner's luck!"

Captain Fletcher bowls the next delivery.

Captain Fletcher: "Howzat! LBW!"

Nina Stark: "What's LBW?"

Captain Fletcher: "You used your legs to prevent the ball from hitting the wicket."

Nina Stark: "The ball was nowhere near the wicket, I had to move quite far in an attempt to reach it."

The crew brandish their cutlasses.

Nina Stark: "Okay! Your turn Øystein."

Captain Fletcher: "Howzat!"

Øystein Øye: "What? I haven't even started!"

Captain Fletcher: "Timed out! You took too long. Our turn to bat now."

Later

Captain Fletcher: "Right, the final score is: Gnejs 2, HMS Onslaught 2,016. We win by 2,014 runs, 10 wickets and an innings, YAAAR!"

Øystein Øye: "Where was the tea-break? Anyway, I think we have enough information to take back home."

[Fort McKinley]

FT MCKINLEY LEAD GROUP H
(FMNA) PARILLIO, MERTAGNE--The Fort McKinley National Football Team remain unbeaten in the Cup of Harmony following a 1-0 victory over the Prosaic Union, as our Heroes of The Revolution have won twice and drawn two other matches ahead of their bye on matchday 5.
There has been no serious opposition from the decadent nations making up remainder of the group that the Fort McKinley side have been forced to play; only Potato Farmers of Poafmersia and bourgeoise capitalists from Kimi-Suomi stand between the Heroes and a chance to win the Cup.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

David Guy Allen had followed his strong showing against Cabo Azure with another performance against Starblaydia that would be celebrated back home--a pair of goals in a 3-3 draw versus probably the strongest nation Fort McKinley had faced in it's history--which brought the squad to Parillio where they would play a pair of matches on either side of an off-day.

The contest against the Prosaic Union was seen as a toss-up between the lowest ranked sides in the group and it once again Dave who provided the all the offense required for a 1-0 victory which left the Mackies on eight points with two fixtures left.

The Fort McKinley Football Association in consultation with the Republic Party Central Committee, had agreed to allow the squad members to have up to three guests join the official party for the final two matches; this would mean the final stage of the plan for abandoning the People's Republic by two of the Founder's great-grandchildren and their significant others would begin once the additional traveling party made their way from Atlantian Oceania.

The Starblaydia match at the Cop Limy Stadium in Neorudo had given Dave a good chance to study the layout of the area underneath the stands where the dressing rooms were situated, in addition to the route to the stadium from the hotel that the team coach traveled.

One of the options that had been talked about among the couples was enlisting the aid of police who would certainly be present at the stadium; it was decided that actually finding a police station and making their declaration of asylum seeking was probably the better option, and there was a station that was just several blocks from the Cop Limy.

They'd have about 9 days to finesse the final details. They'd need less than 9 minutes head start if everything went to plan.

[Audioslavia]

The immediate aftermath of a football match, when you finally get off the field, away from the cameras and into the dressing room, the first thing to do is eat. You've run ten kilometres, you've exhausted any mental energy you might have started with, you need to get something in your stomach straight away. The time for studious analysis of your carb, protein and fat intake was over - that'd start back up tomorrow - what you needed now was sandwiches, chicken nuggets, bananas, trail bars, maybe a greasy sausage roll. Anything you could get into your face quickly with minimal mess. If you're me, this involves taking two triangular sandwiches (the tastiest shape) and inhaling one whole before you sat down. The other one would last as long as it took you to undo a pair of football boots with one hand, which if you're exhausted can be actually quite a while. After that, it was time to unstrap everything you'd previously strapped to yourself. Shinpads, athletic tape, ankle supports, plasters, wristbands, hairbands and the like. By the time you're in the shower, the adrenaline has worn off, you can feel which parts of you have been kicked, which parts you might have strained, feel old injuries remind you how annoying they could be if they wanted, and most importantly it gives you the chance to give everyone your first impression on the game while your head's under the showerhead.

"Fuckin hell" was mine.
"Could have gone a lot worse, mate" came a voice behind me. Clearly that of Obadele Volonte, in that aside from the south-eastern accent it was delivered quietly and calmly, as if nobody had ever, or could ever, interrupt him. "You worked hard. Good goal too"
"It's so fuckin' hard though" I said, trying to shake off the very fresh memories of Matias Paulson and Aaron McMuller shoving me this way and that every time the ball threatened to come to me.
"You got a handle on the defenders eventually. That first touch, mate, took them out the game. Then *bang*" said Volonte, slapping the tiled wall for effect.
"You know what else is hard?" came another voice. Catharan. I turned to find its owner, Archer Flat, and said 'what' before either I or Obadele could stop myself. Archer then made a comment which was sexist, homophobic and somehow xenophobic too.
"Archer, mate, that's what Antonio Mersias did to you for our goal" said Obadele, while I buried my head back under the shower.
"Good goal, Hello" came another voice. The boss's. I stood up straight for a second and turned away from her instinctively.
"Er, cheers boss" I said. I realised I was blushing and knew already it was too late
"Helios mate, the amount of male changing rooms I've been in..."
"Yeah sorry boss" I said, thinking about turning to face her but at this point that'd seem like an overcompensation. I'd heard stories of her ripping the piss out of male players (or 'players' as we usually called them) for being weird with her about anything they wouldn't be weird about with any of the boys. I'd gotten off light here.
"Shakedown in five" she said, knocking my bottle of shampoo onto the floor.
"Oi!" I exclaimed.
"Archer, pick his bottle up" said RJ, walking back to the main square of the changing room. Archer responded by saying something even more offensive than before.

Shakedown wasn't a debrief. There was no analysis to be done, no accusations, no criticism. Shakedown was a way to get info out of the players on how they felt, in general, about what had just happened. What I found interesting about it was everyone's body language. Some of the players would still be in a towel, some already mostly changed back into their suits. Interestingly enough, the latter group was usually the group who hadn't played so well. The ones hiding. The most senior players might still be in their jersey if they'd had to do an interview or two. Their time to talk was usually later, one-on-one with the boss.
"Right lads" said RJ. "Not the result we wanted. The result we deserved?"
"Aye prolly" came one voice.
"From how we played, prolly aye" came another. Both wearing towels.
"We worked hard. We're on the right path. We've been as far down as we can get, this team, the way back up the mountain is tough" said Obadele. He wasn't even wearing a towel.
"Fuckin no way" said his central defensive partner, Archer Flat, also butt-naked, only also still covered in water. He finished his thought with something xenophobic.
"I thought we were unlucky" said Antoine Letexier, in a suit, brushing his hair.
"Okay lads" said RJ. "Niggles?"
"Legs a bit sore" I said, "right ankle, left knee"
"Anything doc needs to know about?" came another voice, that of Dean Sharp, assistant manager. I shook my head. "Stiff tomorrow though"
"Keep us posted lad"
"Yeah tell us when your balls drop" said Archer in the background, putting his shirt on before his trousers, in fact before even *drying* himself properly.
"Speaking of dropping balls" said Dean, "how many do you want to let bounce in our penalty area before we put you in a bag and throw you off a cliff"
"Heading causes brain injuries, I'd rather not get CTE cheers" came Archer's response, complete with an attempt at an angelic face that might have been the least convincing impression I'd seen since that time my little sister had put a roll of toilet paper on her head and said she was a witch.
"I don't care if heading a ball gave you leprosy, if one arrives in your area, you get that shit out of there. You too, Obadele, I don't want to see you kill a high ball beautifully on your instep in your own six yard box ever again" said Dean
"That's going on YouTiVu, that, just you wait" said Obadele
"It'll be the last anyone sees of you" said Dean.
"He's right. Get rid. You're not in Eura now"
"Okay boss" smiled Obadele.
"Right boys. Earphones in, clothes on, thanks for your hard work" said RJ, to a murmured 'cheers boss' from all round.

Before she leaves, and before I can get my earpods in, the boss comes up to me.
"It's you isn't it?" she says.
"What?" I say
"Used to be me that got the first person treatment" she says, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know what you're talking about" I respond.
"Tell them your name"
"What"
"Say your name"
"Helios" I say. "Helios Roy"
RJ Styrn nods.
"Don't end up on an island" she says.
"Er.. okay" I respond.

[Cassadaigua]

Princess Brianna Makes Plea To Queen,
By Kelsey LeClair, Concord Heights Times, Current Events

Ever since the Royal Court made their decision that Princess Cassie III was the rightful heir to the throne, Princess Brianna has been relatively quiet from the public eye. There have been some protests in the streets concerning the decision, but with Brianna not being as visible, a lot of that began to quiet down. It did not seem as though this would be the end of it, though, as surely Princess Brianna would appeal something about the decision. Sources that have been close to Brianna’s side have suggested that her lawyers have struggled to find any grounds for an appeal and that Brianna has opted not to look desperate. I liken it to a seen from the movie, “The Orange Man”, where a politician in a democratic form of government loses an election and then, since he is not used to losing and not having his way all the time, makes up a false claim about the validity of the election and convinces his followers to stand up against the rightful winner. That’s not something that Brianna is going to do, and she knows that the Court did order Cassie III to give her a prominent role in her ultimate rule. She doesn’t want to mess that up.

This morning, then, Brianna appeared on a popular TV news program and used the stage to go over an appeal she made to the Queen over the phone the evening prior. Here is what she said,

“I did speak to Queen Cassie II last night and let her know something that I feel would be very appropriate, and fair. As we can see, our brave women and men that have marched into the northern land to seize control of the Cooper River and other territory have been very successful. The great training that they have attained has allowed the mission to go according to plan, and casualties to our troops have been very limited. Naturally, our hearts go out to those who will not return home alive, and everyone the grieves for them at home. We should keep them in our thoughts and prayers. The mission, in general, has been a success, and it was reported by General Rachel Lasalle earlier that they have successfully fended off the pirates at the west end of the Cooper River. What this all means is that we have a new addition to the Cassadagan mainland, and given the ruling of the Royal Court that I be given a prominent role in the next regime, I have asked Queen Cassie II to declare me the ruler of the entire northern territory. I think with the way everything has gone, this is a fair resolution to the entire succession ordeal, and it can appease the wishes of the Court about me having a prominent position.”

Some have speculated that this might be something that Princess Cassie III did anyway, and Brianna said on the TV program that Cassie II told her that she would consider the request once she stepped down from the throne, but until she does step down, she is not going to hand over authority to anyone, whether it was her, or her own daughter. Right now, the Queen still says that she has no intention of stepping down and is not even thinking about it. Princess Cassie III said of Brianna’s request that, “We’ll get there when we get there. If we ever get there.” Those reading between the lines of the quote say that it’s another example of Cassie III getting a little antsy, herself, to finally take over.


Fillies Take Down Brookstation,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Team Cassadaigua improved to 3-0-0 in the Cup of Harmony following a 3-0 win over Brookstation. The result puts them at the top of the table with nine points. They are even with Sendhang, but the Fillies have already defeated them and have a game in hand on them. Sendhang is coming off a 1-0 victory over Sarzonia, which should certainly open up some eyes about the quality of their program. That’s one of the best things about playing in the Cup of Harmony as opposed to the World Cup, in that you can see these up and coming nations before they become bigger and stronger. Overall, the bigger story with the Fillies is the fact that they have only conceded one goal in their first three games. Don’t think that the team got the message from manager Brittany Byers that they needed to be better in their own end? Well, through three games, and one against an offensively minded opponent in Valentine Z, the defense and goalkeeping has stepped up.

Brookstation came into the match struggling, but the one thing that the Dreamers were doing was scoring goals. Before the game, they had scored the most goals in the group, so the defense knew that they had another challenge ahead of them. They stepped up, and when the likes of Leon Michael Robes or Rutland Dockside’s Johannes Kehr got their opportunities, Cynthia Kerr stepped up and turned them away. Madison Rutland, of Starksville Coastal, was assigned to Kehr, and was looking forward to the opportunity due to the rivalry between Coastal and Dockside. “Brittany (Byers) knew what she was doing, of course, when she told me that I was going to be assigned to Kehr,” Rutland said of the move, “but I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s good to see the CSL players out there on the field and playing for their homeland. But yes, through the Brookstation kit, I could envision the Dockside kit underneath, for sure.” Kehr, surely had the same motivation for this, and each of them played well. In the end, Cassadagan goals from Bayley Stanton in 17th, Morgan Rosenblatt in 25th, and Jenna Frontiera in the 59th, sealed the deal and now the team awaits Sarzonia.

“We’ve already played one another twice, and we’re both here,” Rutland said of the upcoming game against the Stars, “we’re probably both moving on at this point, now, but each team wants to win the rubber game. Not sure who would want it more, and really, the big picture is that it’s not do or die for either of us. You want the result, you want it badly, but there are bigger games ahead once we get to the knockouts.” Very generously, the format has 32 teams making knockouts, and given the positions that both teams are in at the moment, each know they will be somewhere in the final 32 unless there is a catastrophe. But each are well versed in the World Cup and most international sports to know that playing for seeding is important, and will go at one another hard.

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport



First The Wheels, Then The Coach



Blanco Borrayo reports;

‘I think it’s pretty clear that something isn’t quite working.’ The words of Sargossa national coach Alejandro Echeverría in the wake of his side’s dull Cup of Harmony stalemate with Rushmori rivals Savojarna. ‘So I shall be standing down from my position of head coach of Sargossa at the conclusion of this tournament. The players and the Federation were informed of this decision last week. And now I’m telling you.’

It certainly hadn't meant to be this way. Echeverría, who enjoyed a glittering playing career and whose talent earned him a stack of international caps, was seen as the perfect man to take the mantle following the departure of double Copa winning coach Brian McAllister. His own coaching achievements coupled with that aforementioned playing pedigree seem to suggest a marriage made in heaven. And there was indeed a honeymoon period. A one hundred percent record in the Copa group stage, without conceding a goal, spoke of promising things to come. Until a Pridnestrovia side, bent on revenge, ditched the defending champions out at the last sixteen stage.

Then the World Cup qualifiers started with an eight game unbeaten streak. The Corsairs stuck five past Eraman, six past Quakmybush and battled to a highly creditable away point in Banija. Then, for some strange reason, the wheels fell clean off. And the coach could seemingly find no way to put them back on. The following fifteen games have yielded just three victories. The nation went from challenging for a playoff spot to struggling to finish fifth. It was a performance that probably would have seen a coach with a less storied back story given the boot there and then. But Echeverría has that history and he was given a stay of execution.

But the Cup of Harmony has once again seen, with one strange exception, the frustratingly inconsistent side that finished the World Cup qualifiers. A side that can be devastating in attack but then amateurish in defence at one moment. To rock solid at the back and then utterly toothless on the offensive the next. To arrive in Mertagne with something to prove and then promptly leak six goals in games against Gortolekua and Efnakia was not what the Federation or fans were hoping for. Then, in shades of the two fine World Cup qualifying performances against Banija, the Corsairs looked back to their best in turning over group top seeds Kelssek. But then came the dire draw with Savojarna.

Technically that does mean Sargossa currently sit unbeaten in Group F, but on half the number of points that were available. And with current patchy form, Kelssek just behind on goal difference and both Efnakia and Savojarna lurking a handful of points further back, both with games in hand, the future is far from rosy.

. Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eraman                 4   2  1  1    4   3  +1    7
2 Sargossa               4   1  3  0    9   7  +2    6
3 Kelssek                4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
4 Efnakia                3   1  2  0    3   2  +1    5
5 Savojarna              3   0  3  0    2   2   0    3
6 Gortolekua             3   0  2  1    5   8  −3    2
7 Bollonich              3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    1

So much so that the coach has decided to call it quits. A decision that has probably been exacerbated by the imminent appointment of Miguel Marí as the nation’s new Director of Elite Football. The previous incumbent, Luís Molina, stepped down at the culmination of the World Cup qualifying campaign and the Football Federation have seemingly earmarked former international Marí as his replacement. Given Marí, a former member of the national side’s technical staff, and Echeverría had a very public bust up on the touchline just a few short month’s ago, the coach probably considered his own position to be untenable with the imminent appointment of his former foe as essentially his new boss. Perhaps that had been part of the Football Federation’s thinking. As now they don’t have to be seen to fire a national footballing legend.

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

After our return from a bye was denoted by an entertaining and frustrating draw against Baggieland, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia were prepared to try and get more of those precious points on the board in any way they could. They were leaving Bencoolen with 4 points in hand, but many felt that they needed to keep the points flowing if they wanted to make sure their seeding in the playoffs is as high as they can manage. David Seems and Li Xiu Ying knew that while draws were certainly better than losses, getting 3 points would certainly be worth a lot more than getting only 1...especially in a group as tough as this one.

Our opponents at Columbus Field in Columbia would be HUElavia, a team that needed no introduction to many back in the International Community. HUElavia has always been a team that we end up facing in the IAC and in other tournaments, a team that is always frustrating to face no matter the scenario or the competition. We know Cristiano Aveiro Lima and his team fairly well by now and they know us well too, as seen with the special uniforms being brought out by our opponents to mark the occasion. This game was expected to be a duel between two familiar foes and while it certainly was, it produced no conclusive winner. There were obviously chances, with Archer Andrews and Raul Nascimento Jardim coming closest to breaking this deadlock, but both David N'kude and Lucas Lettmann would hold their grounds and thus we were forced to share the spoils.

We are undefeated after 3 games, but 5th after those same 3 games. It's certainly a weird place to be in, but we still have plenty of time to move up this tightly-contested leaderboard where the Top 5 are separated by only 2 points. We move to Harrison County next and Fletcher Park in Kinsbury for a contest with the up-and-coming Snakes from Soldera. This is certainly a tough group...but we still have time to rise above others. GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group C, all games in Tumbra)
MD1: vs Kuraita (124) - Bencoolen City Stadium, Bencoolen, Bencoolen W 2-1 (T-1st)
MD2: BYE (T-2nd)
MD3: vs Baggieland (106) - Bencoolen City Stadium, Bencoolen, Bencoolen D 3-3 (3rd)
MD4: vs HUElavia (48) - Columbus Field, Columbia, Alexandria D 0-0 (5th)
MD5: vs Soldera (76) - Fletcher Park, Kingsbury, Georgia
MD6: vs Astograth (66) - Fletcher Park, Kingsbury, Georgia
MD7: vs Chromatika (24) - Columbus Field, Columbia, Alexandria

[Ranoria]

One Last Hurrah For Snow Bears? NAAF Considering Pulling Funding For National Team
By Vick Hamilton



"We've proven we can compete with the world's best," said the NAAF commissioner, "But international play may not be conducive to our growth at the moment.

Manlafi Sowe and Mark Tilmann have guided this team to a 2-1-0 start in their Cup of Harmony debut and guided them to four straight winning records in the World Cup Qualifying stage despite significant roster turnover in the past two appearances. Hell, guided by midfielder Kris Reinhardt, the Snow Bears (and previously, the Krauts) have become one of the more sturdy defensive units in the sport.

But despite all that, it appears the National Alliance of Association Football is planning on this being the final hurrah - for now - of our national team.

"We've proven we can compete with the top teams in the world. Rarely are we going out there and being blown out, and our group mates, Eura, can attest that our team plays with fire. But the international play may not be conducive to the growth of the NAAF at this time.

While viewership numbers of course skyrocket compared to domestic play, it's still true that very few people tune in to watch Ranorian soccer - and leasing Smith Field in the nation's capital is not a cheap endeavor. Besides that, there are rumors of a lot of top Ranorian talent leaving for foreign premier leagues, something that would wipe away the top of the NAAF's pecking order by taking away its stars. The exposure to international play can only accelerate such decisions.

With that in mind, the Snow Bears, despite their respectable performances, haven't progressed much since World Cup 88, when they finished with a program-record eleven wins. Manlafi Sowe's tutelage has certainly been beneficial, especially in keeping this team as a consistent winner after losing so many veterans to age, and at the very least he is the reason we're participating in our first ever Cup of Harmony, but it wasn't enough for the Snow Bears to break into the very exclusive club of World Cup qualifiers.

If this is their last charge into the night, they're off to a good start - Kris Reinhardt and Sabra Sapharina were electric in the 1-0 win over Tjorl. Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, the 82nd ranked team in the world going into World Cup 91, will be our final opponent before getting another crack at an old enemy in 21st ranked Eura. These two teams haven't squared off since the aforementioned World Cup 88, when the then-Krauts won 11 games,and a pair of Ranorian announcers thought they were commentating on a gridiron football match.

Eura defeated us in the first showdown, 3-2, but Ranoria won 2-1 in a rematch that came at the tail end of a late push that nearly earned us a qualification berth. How will these two teams fare in their latest duel?

[Kimi-Suomi]

Sometimes, patience is a virtue. Other times, it's a fucking kirous. Even in our young history as a footballing nation, Kimi-Suomi has begun to develop some opinions on the opponents they face in any given tournament. Mostly, we like all of the opponents we have faced in recent times...but two, in particular, have certainly stuck out as exceptions to the rule. Hapilopper was the first, the links to Daniel Marx and the general egos that nation likes to produce causing clashes of style in both games we played with them during WC90. The second is Sininen Rannikko, Cabo Azure, a team who knocked us out of the AOCAF and then beat us twice in the most recent group stage. We have nothing against Las Maçaricas, Paulinho's team is certainly good at what they do, but losing to the same opponents 3 times in a few years just makes us pretty ticked off. Ja monet olivat päättäneet olla antamatta kolmesta tulla neljäksi.

Cop Limy Stadium in Neorudo would host the 4th meeting between these two teams and the game both sides would produce nothing short of a barn burner. Both halves would have 4 goals each and it simply was madness for all 90 minutes. Cleto Silveira would score first in the 9th minute, only for Valtteri Nordström to strike back past Ambrosio Gomez in the 15th. Silveira would get a 2nd in the 34th only for Kimi Airo to get involved in the 41st to level the scores heading into the break. Narciso Maciel made it 3-2 to Sininen Rannikko in the 60th minute and it was here that Esko Laaksonen made a call that would change the complexion of this contest - he brought on Mika Noronen. Noronen replaced Anne Hintz in the CM position and this youthful injection was enough for Huuhkajat to turn things around big time. First, he would score himself in the 66th. Then, he assisted Kimi Airo in the 77th to give us the lead. And lastly, he assisted fellow sub Teemu Räikkönen in the 88th to punctuate the victory. Finally, at the 4th attempt, we had beaten Cabo Azure...and it sure as hell did feel good.

Yski voittaa, Yski pelata tasapeli, Yski tappio. Every single result possible has been achieved in 3 games. So what now? Starblaydinen, Starblaydia, that's what's next. A seriously tough opponent...but that's fine. A good showing is all we need from a game like that...just like today in Neorudo. NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

[Tikariot]

-- The Tikariot Premier League is covered by Simon Nighthorse and Sakari Pernfors --

One of the two clubs that have gained promotion to the Tikariot Premier League for season 105 is the Crimsonhawke FC, who are returning after a five-year absence. We will take a special look at the club today as it has been a rare guest in the TPL and definitely took a lot of people by surprise when they topped the table despite the likes of Anhedron, Veriasod, Fort Viljan, Morannon, Nagoush, Alcassar and several others, making it quite special.

Nicknamed the Crimson, the CFC was originally founded by railyard workers as Crimrail Football & Cricket Club, without any intentions to playing in more than a recreational Sunday league, but when the rumours began spreading about a nationwide league forming, 105 years ago, the temptation proved too strong for them to withstand and the cricket reference was quickly dropped upon registration for the fledgling league as Crimsonhawke FC, even though success was a rare guest. In the first 50 years of the TPL as closed league, Crimsonhawke managed to break into the top 10 a meagre two times and instead finished in what now would be a regular relegation spot 30 times, which shows that they were not exactly a success story throughout their early half-century of existence.

In the 54 years since they had ten more stints in the TPL, seven of which lasted exactly one season, one lasted two and two at least three seasons, but after their last relegation in season 99, the club decided to undergo a very radical transformation and instead of in the past, where like most other clubs they would try to sign seasoned players to finally regain promotion, they scrapped this plan completely and instead invested very heavily into their youth academy, aggressively recruiting talent from the wider region to develop.

At first results were almost disastrous as they barely avoided relegation into the third tier several times, but once the first graduates came through, they were quickly plucked off by several TPL clubs, which for one proved that the concept was good, but for the other created the problem of player retention. Despite this, the Crimson did not waver or deviate from their concept and managed to finally win promotion into the TPL again, against all odds, and immediately began reversing the tactics of the TPL teams through loopholes they had built into the transfer agreements of the past few years, where they had always secured buyback clauses, which generally were not really viewed as a big deal, given the rather meagre success rate of the club.

This time however, things look a little different, because some of Crimsonhawke's past talents have been causing quite some waves in the Tikariot Premier League last season, such as Kathleen Chamberlain, the Spiteri siblings Kevin and Johanna or Christina Pogosyan, all of which are now gracing the roster of the Crimson, together with some other hopeful young talent, like Dhun Lagarr's Giovanna Savogliardi, so this "new" Crimsonhawke FC could definitely turn some heads this coming season and if first polls are any indication, then a lot of Tikariotians have voiced their support of their team!

Make sure to follow our continued coverage of the TPL throughout Season 105!