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Title:
Breast Kept Secret?
The Issue:
It's an unusual day at the office when on a short tea break a convoy of half-naked women is bundled past you by security officers. One of the disrobed dissidents promptly breaks free to give you a fierce dressing down.
VALIDITY: ADULT, valid for nations without high nudity
Option 1:
"No more persecution; let me show my bosom!" chants the subversive streaker, giving you both an earful and an eyeful. "Men go topless in @@NAME@@ year-round, rain or shine. Let women do the same – relax public decency laws so we too can enjoy a cool breeze when walking through the park on a summer's day. Nudity is not lewdity! You must free our mammaries!"
EFFECT: female @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ often get funny looks on foreign holidays
Option 2:
"I'll tell you what's really breast — I mean, best — for women in @@NAME@@," splutters your Minister of Public Decency, frantically throwing an arm up in front of his eyes. "While idealism is all well and boob — uh, good — the hard truth is that a lady's two best friends are deeply sexualised tissues. A woman's tits — bits — and bobs must be left in the figurative bedroom to prevent inappropriate thoughts and behaviours; to protect women from overt objectification, transgressions should be met with teat — steep — fines."
EFFECT: the new MODESTY-360 rear-padlocked brassiere makes for challenging (but rewarding) foreplay
Option 3:
"I agree that showing too much flesh is a corruptive influence, but let's be more ambitious still," asserts Gladys Phlafly, devout mother-of-three and author of the bestseller A Woman's Place. "The sight of the unwashed masses exposing their obtrusive bellies and, heaven forbid, sweaty gluteal clefts is enough to make any devout mother-of-three worry that her children will be scarred for life. For the sake of morality, you must mandate that every citizen remains fully-clothed in public without exception."
EFFECT: seeing a bare ankle in the park provides material for many a feverish fantasy
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