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[DRAFT] The Corpse Collector

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

[DRAFT] The Corpse Collector

Postby Baggieland » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:23 pm

Enjoy! :)

[TITLE] The Corpse Collector

[DESCRIPTION] The stench of rotting flesh permeates all around, where those who were infected with the Maxtopian Pox, a disease that starts with decaying flesh, then skin shrivels up, and finally, muscles fall cleanly off the bone, were left to perish. Those who were infected would live and die as a rotting corpse. And anyone who refused a vaccination would be dragged to the wilderness to die there, waiting for their time to rot.

[VALIDITY] link to option 2 from No. 1013

[OPTION] "That place is full of the infected," declares General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, your Chief of Staff, his face set in a scowl as @@HE@@ fiddles with a box of matches. "We need to napalm that whole area, it's the only way to ensure that any and all diseases contained in that region are eradicated for good."

[EFFECT] wildfires are no longer an act of nature

[OPTION] "We've already destroyed these people's lives, do we need to finish off nature as well?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Health Minister, as @@HE@@ nervously checks @@HIS@@ temperature. "The bodies, over time, will decompose and the Maxtopian Pox, without a host body will die off too. The government only needs to set up military check points all along the outskirts, so that no-one stumbles into the wilderness by accident."

[EFFECT] the @@ADJECTIVE@@ wilderness is spookily quiet

[OPTION] "I'll get rid of those bodies for you, but only for a sizeable fee," says a man in a shivery voice, wearing a threadbare robe, the hood obscuring his face. He clears his throat. "You can call me... The Corpse Collector. Don't ask me what I'll do with them, it's better to spare you the unpleasant details, but let's just say, I have a use for them."

[EFFECT] funeral parlours have a 'don't ask -- don't tell' policy


[TITLE] The Corpse Collector

[DESCRIPTION] Anyone who refused a vaccination was dragged to the wilderness to die there -- waiting for their time to rot. Those who were infected with the Maxtopian Pox, a disease that starts with decaying flesh, then skin shrivels up, and finally, muscles fall cleanly off the bone, were left to perish -- to live and die as a rotting corpse. Now the stench of human decomposition has permeated nearby towns, making the living feel as sick as the dying.

[VALIDITY] link to option 2 from No. 1013

[OPTION] "That place is full of the infected," declares General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, your Chief of Staff, his face set in a scowl as @@HE@@ fiddles with a box of matches. "We need to napalm that whole area, it's the only way to ensure that any and all diseases contained in that region are eradicated for good."

[EFFECT] wildfires are no longer an act of nature

[OPTION] "We've already destroyed these people's lives, do we need to finish off nature as well?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Health Minister, as @@HE@@ nervously checks @@HIS@@ temperature. "The bodies, over time, will decompose and the Maxtopian Pox, without a host body will die off too. The government only needs to set up military check points all along the outskirts, so that no-one stumbles into the wilderness by accident."

[EFFECT] the @@ADJECTIVE@@ wilderness is spookily quiet

[OPTION] "I'll get rid of those bodies for you, but only for a sizeable fee," says a man in a shivery voice, wearing a threadbare robe, the hood obscuring his face. He clears his throat. "You can call me... The Corpse Collector. Don't ask me what I'll do with them, it's better to spare you the unpleasant details, but let's just say, I have a use for them."

[EFFECT] funeral parlours have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy


[TITLE] The Corpse Collector

[DESCRIPTION] Anyone who refused a vaccination was dragged to the wilderness to die there -- waiting for their time to rot. Those who were infected with the Maxtopian Pox, a disease that starts with decaying flesh, then skin shrivels up, and finally, muscles fall cleanly off the bone, were left to perish -- to live and die as a rotting corpse. Now the stench of human decomposition has permeated nearby towns, making the living feel as sick as the dying.

[VALIDITY] link to option 2 from No. 1013

[OPTION] "That place is full of the infected," declares General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, your Chief of Staff, his face set in a scowl as @@HE@@ fiddles with a box of matches. "We need to napalm that whole area, it's the only way to ensure that any and all diseases contained in that region are eradicated for good."

[EFFECT] wildfires are no longer an act of nature

[OPTION] "That dreadful odour is insufferable," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Health Minister, as @@HE@@ nervously checks @@HIS@@ own temperature. "However, the bodies will decompose over time and the Maxtopian Pox, without a host body will die off too. The government only needs to evacuate those nearby towns -- get the healthy as far away as possible from those wretched souls."

[EFFECT] ghost towns are named after real ghosts

[OPTION] "I'll get rid of those bodies for you, but only for a sizeable fee," says a man in a shivery voice, wearing a threadbare robe, the hood obscuring his face. He clears his throat. "You can call me... The Corpse Collector. Don't ask me what I'll do with them, it's better to spare you the unpleasant details, but let's just say, I have a use for them."

[EFFECT] funeral parlours have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy
Last edited by Baggieland on Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:11 am

Jesus, that description. If this issue was a movie, it would be rated R.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am

I'm pretty sure ifa disease was this rampant, then there would be no vaccine, and nobody who is capable of recieving a vaccine would refuse it
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Baggieland
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Postby Baggieland » Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:14 am

Chan Island wrote:Jesus, that description. If this issue was a movie, it would be rated R.

My attempt at the horror genre. :eek:
Are you cowering under the sheets?

Australian rePublic wrote:I'm pretty sure ifa disease was this rampant, then there would be no vaccine, and nobody who is capable of recieving a vaccine would refuse it

I suggest you read issue no. 1013, option 2, which this one chains to.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:59 am

[DESCRIPTION] The stench of rotting flesh permeates all around, where those who were infected with the Maxtopian Pox, a disease that starts with decaying flesh, then skin shrivels up, and finally, muscles fall cleanly off the bone, were left to perish. Those who were infected would live and die as a rotting corpse. And anyone who refused a vaccination would be dragged to the wilderness to die there, waiting for their time to rot.


I think maybe change the order of presentation of information, and clarify what the dilemma is.

Start by recapping the decision made. Then go with the flowery description of the horror. Then present a dilemma that comes from that decision.

Right now, to me, all the opening says is that "you done a bad thing". It doesn't actually advance the story beyond where the last issue choice left things.

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Baggieland
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Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Fri Jul 12, 2019 5:51 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I think maybe change the order of presentation of information, and clarify what the dilemma is.

Start by recapping the decision made. Then go with the flowery description of the horror. Then present a dilemma that comes from that decision.

Right now, to me, all the opening says is that "you done a bad thing". It doesn't actually advance the story beyond where the last issue choice left things.

Very well, but the Corpse Collector will come for you tonight! :shock:

2nd draft is up!
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Jutsa
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:20 pm

wow
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:58 pm

After I changed the opening premise around, I also needed to change option 2 to make sure it fitted with the description.

So, draft 3 is up.
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:01 pm

Jutsa wrote:wow


:)

Okay guys, obviously I'm trying something a bit different here, by (attempting to) write an issue in the horror genre. What do you guys think if this issue turned up for your nation?

Is it a 'yeah' or a 'nay' from the GI community?
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:29 am

I'd personally make it clearer in the opening description that the issue's core dilemma is disposal of bodies. For a consequence issue to work I think it needs to not just be "here's a decision you just made", rather it needs to be "as a result of a decision you made, this new thing has happened."

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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:39 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I'd personally make it clearer in the opening description that the issue's core dilemma is disposal of bodies.

Have to disagree here. The core dilemma here is the overwhelming pong that has wafted into nearby settlements. Only option 3 disposes of bodies. Options 1 and 2 offer different solutions.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote: For a consequence issue to work I think it needs to not just be "here's a decision you just made", rather it needs to be "as a result of a decision you made, this new thing has happened."

I believe this is a decent consequence issue. The original choice from option 2, issue 1013 was to deliberately infect citizens with a pox, then leave them to die. Surely a resulting consequence of that would be an unbearable stench?
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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TalAkMaChen
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby TalAkMaChen » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:11 am

If it weren't explicitly for the Pox there's also 168, option 3 to ship off infected people.
I like the gruesome idea of it, but shouldn't option 1 be only for those with WMD? Nations that don't have such arsenal, e.g. napalm, won't just get it do "dispose off" those poor souls.
Also, why are they left in the wilderness close to populated places? Wouldn't they rather be shipped to some island or far-away place? Surely the wind didn't bring the "rotten stench" for dozens of miles to those towns. :D

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:00 am

Gotcha, I hadn't realised the stench was the premise. I thought it was just a continuation of the purple prose that makes up the bulk of the opening.

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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:14 pm

TalAkMaChen wrote:If it weren't explicitly for the Pox there's also 168, option 3 to ship off infected people.
I like the gruesome idea of it, but shouldn't option 1 be only for those with WMD? Nations that don't have such arsenal, e.g. napalm, won't just get it do "dispose off" those poor souls.
Also, why are they left in the wilderness close to populated places? Wouldn't they rather be shipped to some island or far-away place? Surely the wind didn't bring the "rotten stench" for dozens of miles to those towns. :D


I believe that napalm is not classified as a WMD. The other points you make, are of course logical, however they were not specified in the original issue that this links to.
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Chan Island
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Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Wed Jul 17, 2019 12:47 am

I wonder what the effects on wildlife would be for such a move? Surely that should be noted?

Baggieland wrote:
Chan Island wrote:Jesus, that description. If this issue was a movie, it would be rated R.

My attempt at the horror genre. :eek:
Are you cowering under the sheets?



Should have brought sheets with me. 0/10, I disgrace the memory of every horror fan.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

User avatar
Baggieland
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2278
Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Wed Jul 17, 2019 12:54 am

Chan Island wrote:I wonder what the effects on wildlife would be for such a move? Surely that should be noted?

I feel that is a side issue for my draft. If the player was concerned about that, they wouldn't have chosen to infect people with a deadly pox, then leave them in the wilderness to begin with.
Keep the faith, keep on boinging!

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Chan Island
Minister
 
Posts: 3331
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:08 am

Baggieland wrote:
Chan Island wrote:I wonder what the effects on wildlife would be for such a move? Surely that should be noted?

I feel that is a side issue for my draft. If the player was concerned about that, they wouldn't have chosen to infect people with a deadly pox, then leave them in the wilderness to begin with.


Fair point.

Otherwise this is pretty good as is.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.


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