World Cup 99 - RP Thread

[United States of Nova Calania]

Nova Calania keeps losing

Starting XI vs Archalit @ Zhāng Jiānglǐng Guójiā Tǐyùchǎng, Shanzhou
GK ANNE - LB ALYSSA - CB VLODZY - CB FX - EVAN - DCM KYLE - LW ASHY - RW ROSE - ACM MO - S LILY - S LP

Starting XI @ Oscioru
GK SERGE - LB OUZY - CB ZIA - CB PHOEBE - RB NATEY - DCM YI MING - LW MEI - RW LETTIE - ACM CHARLOTTE - S ROD - S LILY

Canzaria, Oscioru - It's hard to understand why Nova Calania is the most unluckiest team in the multiverse. 6 games played and only one win and 3 draws. 2 of them draws should have been a victory. On week 5, the Tapirs received Archalit in Shanzhou and couldn't beet them. Archalit is ranked 160th. Nova Calania took the lead at the 22nd minute when on Rose Van der Jagt dribbled with the ball and pass to Louis-Philippe Berlinguette who kicks it and it goes in. Archalit attacked at the 29th minute when Ali Akram Fahmi passed the ball to Gunner Reynolds who kicks the ball past Anne-Élisabeth Mongrain and the game was tied at 1-1. Alexander Aruan made a cross to Madeleine Olson at the 36th minute. She kicks the ball and it goes in. Archalit leads 2-1 at halftime. Scarlett McCaskill subbed in at the 74th minute and she scored on a free kick at the 83rd minute. The game was tied at 2-2 and it's the final score.

22nd     GOAL NOVA CALANIA   Louis-Philippe Berlinguette assisted by Rose Van der Jagt
29th     GOAL ARCHALIT   Gunner Reynolds assisted by Ali Akram Fahmi
36th     GOAL ARCHALIT   Madeleine Olson assisted by Alexander Aruan
83rd     GOAL NOVA CALANIA   Scarlett McCaskill (free kick)

On week 6, Nova Calania travelled to Oscioru, a team ranked 252nd, and lost 2-1. Oscioru attacked at the 6th minute when Claude Vitale dribbled on the left side and made a cross to Thierry Rinaldi who kicked the ball and it's a goal.Oscioru increased their lead at the 61st minute when Lando Côté made a short pass to Xavi Bosch sho shoots and the ball is in. Nova Calania was down 2-0 until the 67th minute when Mei Qi Xiong passed the ball forward to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez who heads the ball past Matteo Alcazar. The final score was 2-1 Oscioru.

6th      GOAL OSCIORU   Thierry Rinaldi assisted by Claude Vitale
61st     GOAL OSCIORU   Xavi Bosch assisted by Lando Côté
67th     GOAL NOVA CALANIA   Rodrigo  Guénette-Velazquez assisted by Mei Qi Xiong

After 6 weeks, Nova Calania is 7th in group 10 with a win, 3 draws and 2 losses for 6 points. HUElavia and Valanora leads the group with 13 points. Ochre Islands, Oscioru and Archalit aren't far behind with 12 and 11 points. On week 7, the Tapirs will receive Sadame at Stade Fernand-Desgroseilliers located in the Baie-Sainte-Marguerite district of Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. On the next week, Nova Calania will travel to the neighboring Ochre Islands. The Tapirs absolutely needs 2 wins if they wants to remain in the race for a spot at the World Cup 99.

Projected Starting XI vs Sadame @ Stade Fernand-Desgroseilliers, Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer
GK MARCEL - LB OUZY - CB ZIA - CB PHOEBE - EVAN - DCM KYLE - LW MO - RW ASHY - ACM YI MING - S ROD - S LP

Projected Starting XI @ Ochre Islands
GK SERGE - LB ALYSSA - CB VLODZY - CB GIBBY - RB NATEY - DCM LE GÉNÉRAL - LW MEI - RW ROSE - ACM CHARLOTTE - S ROD - S FRED

Paul-André Veilleux

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 3–2 Brusseldorf
(Pazarella 20', Canchon 50', Narita 84' | REDACTED 62', REDACTED 90+4') 
Estadio Hueti, Jinaqa, HUElavia

Archalit 2–1 HUElavia
(Reynolds 70', Olson 83' | Angeli 35')

The Faces of HUElavia

Episode 3:
The Aestellians

Now, we have arrived to the third major ethnic group of HUElavia: The Aestellians. Over 279 Million HUElavians claim full or partial ancestry to the nation of Aestellia, located to the Southwest of Euroa, just west of Portuzia. The Aestellians, much like the Portuzians, was the other ethnic group that has given plenty of influence on The United States of HUElavia. Shortly after word had spread in Euroa about the Portuzian fleet that went on the expedition to the West, the Aestellian monarchy ordered their own expidition group to follow suit. Led by Juan Carlos Tarragona y Morata, a fleet of 5 ships set sail across the Atlantic Ocean and despite storms also hitting the ships, it seems that the storms were not strong enough for the ships to move and eventually settled towards Jaguar Bay (named due to the abundance of Jaguars along the coast) and settled in modern day San Rafael, being named as such due to the ships landing on September 29th, 1689.

After going up the river that ends at the mouth of the bay, the Aestellian explorers began to find and negotiate with the Hueti tribes in the area. While trades were made, much like the Portuzian side, it eventually divulged into constant battles between the Aestellians and the Hueti, with kills and diseases plaguing the Hueti, while the surviving members were forced into slavery or REDACTED. And much like Portuzia, the Catholic Church also threatened with excommunication to Aestellia and forced them to free the Hueti. Despite the Hueti being treated as second class citizens, in the Aestellian part of HUElavia, there was more of a permissible attitude of intermarrying the Hueti with the Aestellian immigrants.

Much like the Portuzians, the Aestellians left a massive mark on HUElavian culture, that said culture is nothing without what was left. Of course, the cuisine that is found in Eastern HUElavia is characteristic of the food eaten by the immigrants that came over time. In particular, the dish of Cocido, a stew filled with chickpeas, beef, chorizo, carrots, potatoes, onions and garlic, is one of the national dishes of HUElavia and considered a comfort dish for many. Many buildings in the area do have the distinctive architecture found in Aestellian culture where many buildings still opted for a more traditional build and even if modern buildings are made, much like the Portuzian half of the country, the Aestellian still makes an effort to build it with the methods and appearances.

Music is also very influential, where the guitar is a very popular instrument brought from Aestellia to HUElavia. Guitars are a dime-a-dozen throughout the country and are commonly found in most bands throughout the country. The Spanish language, brought by the Aestellians, is also major in the country. Being one of the four official languages of HUElavia, the vast majority in Eastern HUElavia speak Spanish at least to a B1 level.

Much like the Hueti-HUElavians and the Portuzian-HUElavian, there are many Aestellian-HUElavians who have made an impact on the history and culture of HUElavia. Countless have been involved in Politics, Science, Education, Business, Sports, Entertainment. The most famous Aestellian-HUElavian was former president Antonio Gomez-Reyes who in the 1990s won the election and made progress to make HUElavia more liberal, enacting Healthcare and Education reforms and legalizing Abortion and funding proper Sex Education throughout the country, cementing HUElavia having the Liberal lean that the country has today.

[Flavovespia]

Last Gasp Pain For Flavovespia

Flavovespia continue to stutter in qualifying. A late draw against Indusse sees more points dropped, with Flavovespia still outside the qualifying spots. There was good improvement in attack, but this time defensive woes were the story for Flavovespia.

Indusse are a team to watch, and certainly in the opening stages were matching Flavovespia. It was however Charles Shepherd who provided the breakthrough. A lofted cross from Jonathan Bagshaw was played out of reach of any defender, and on the volley Charles Shepherd was able to fire home, a good finish from a chance that wasn’t easy.

However Indusse kept up the attacks and by 30 minutes were up 2-1. Antonio Mersias got the equaliser, scoring on the following up when his first effort was parried away. Goblin Grundjee then gave Indusse the lead, with a shot past Paul Taylor, who probably should’ve closed down better. Scrappy play from Flavovespia, and going in 2-1 down was no fluke on Indusse’s part.

Needing goals, Flavovespia thankfully equalised some 10 minutes into the second half. This one came from a good Charles Adams through ball to David Atkinson, as he then shot low and hard, beating the goalkeeper at the near post. Atkinson then turned provider in the 69th minute, his cross met by Charles Shepherd, and his somewhat untidy header hit the inside of the post and bounced in. 2-3, Flavovespia now had the lead in a tough contest.

Indusse were attacking hard, and with effectively the last attack of the game, it paid off. Everyone up for a corner, the ball seemed to be a pinball in the box. Bechun Butea got the final touch that sent it in, Flavovespia appealed for something to chalk it off, but there was nothing going for them. Delight for the hosts, an equaliser to secure a point, but for Flavovespia, more points lost late on, and questions to answer.
Judd Stafford

Atkinson Secures The Points

Against a side who’d been flying these Qualifiers, Flavovespia produced the goods to defeat Zwangzug. A one goal win doesn’t highlight the importance of this win, with Flavovespia finally sensing the nerves of the early games are being banished.

The first half was certainly a cagey affair. The battles were largely in the midfield, with the strikers struggling to get a look in. A tough break particularly for Frank Johnson, rotated in for Peter Langdon, who was seeing little of the ball. Jonathan Bagshaw came closest of the Flavovespians to scoring in the first half, forcing a good save. Peter Marriott was called into action a few times, he looked in good form as he chased a clean sheet. A goalless first half was fitting of how the game was going.

The second half was a bit more lively, this time with Flavovespia pushing some more players forward. This was a gamble that paid off. Roger Burden’s advance forward saw him play a great ball into David Atkinson, and the winger shot firmly to find the net. The lead was Flavovespia’s but the big question now, could they hold it against Zwangzug?

The answer was yes, with some determined defensive displays. Zwangzug had a good amount of attacking knowhow to them, but Flavovespia were keen to not drop any more points. Nerves were high, but when the final whistle went the relief was palpable. Flavovespia are still looking up at the qualifying spots, but their chances feel like they’re going up.
Patricia Evans

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

From the Diaries of Swole Santa

On the fifth and sixth matchdays of qualification, my swole elves gave to me... draws? Just what the fuck are draws?

Let me write this here right now, so everyone understands:

Draws are for pussies.

In a competition controlled by real alphas - whether alpha men or alpha elves - there would be no draws, only wins. Winning is for the strong, losing is for the weak, draws are for... Just what are draws for? For people who don't like winning, but don't like losing either? They might not be literal losers, but they're certainly conceptual losers.

Are we supposed to be happy with that draw against Dhemexia? Sorry, Dhemixia; stupid nation doesn't even have a nation name that alpha males can spell properly. Just look at their squad... "Wesley Williamson"? What sort of sissy name is that? Do you think real men are called "Wesley"? Alright, fine; that 90th-minute penalty save from "Wesley", or "Weasel", or "Weasel Wesley", or whatever his name is might well have salvaged a point for Dhemaxios; but "Wesley" is still a name for sissies, whatever the Dhomoxias players might think.

I just don't get it, because "Doug McMahon" sounds like a proper alpha male name; but how can an alpha male be picking sissies called "Wesley"? There are no pussy names on my squad, let me tell you. Only manly alpha elf names like "Stampy TemperFlakes" or "Sulky JingleLights"; nobody's ever going to think Sulky JingleLights is a sissy.

[the next part of the diary is written in invisible ink, almost as if Evil Swole Santa was trying to hide something]

I am so relieved with the 1-1 draw against Ko-oren. Those dragonflies are a seriously good team.

I obviously can't admit this in public, but they're intimidatingly good - so much better than the elves. It's obvious why they're ranked 16th in the multiverse, and the 6-3-1 formation they fielded against us was incredibly effective. Even I have to admit that Deathtöngue's goal was a bit fluky. And let's not forget that they started qualification without a designated head coach; that's discipline for you.

Frankly, I'm having doubts about Tzimisces's commitment to attack, attack, attack. Sure it looks good, and I can understand why the casual viewer might think that's precisely what Swole Santa and his powerlifting elves might be all about - attack and attack; admit nothing; deny everything; make counter-accusations... But it seems to me that there's something beautiful and admirable about all-out defence too...

Anyway... I didn't write this. I never felt vulnerable. I never admired the opposition. I'm not happy with a draw.

Except none of those things are true; let's just hope that no one ever finds out.

[Zenic]

“How long has he been in here for?”

"Roughly a week. If we were still in wartime, we would have been done in two or three days but we're being much more friendly and by the letter of the law." Consul Felipe had just arrived at the detention center near Ego's Bluff, a couple of kilometers West of New Citium. Ego's Bluff was the unofficial name given to the bluff at the Western end of the Citum Peninsula that became famous for tests of courage from youths jumping off. A couple of government facilities were built near the area after many government and third party studies caused the bluff to be officially shut down for public use due to safety concerns.

"We've learned his full name, his family history, and even his bets for the World Cup Qualifiers. But, nothing yet on the leak," continued Premier General Marcela. Felipe had cautioned the Emperor against Brynhildur Marcela's appointment, as he felt she was a bit too aggressive in her strategies and someone with a more even-keel should have been chosen. Even though the Emperor has come face to face with this aggression, he has continued to roll with her as Minister of Defense despite said aggression coming in opposition to himself. Thus, Felipe has been as cautious as he could be around her.

"Do you have the transcripts for that?" General Marcela snapped her fingers and a folder was handed to the Consul. "All personnel files as well." As Felipe read the transcript, General Marcela watched the interrogation of one Mr. Crescencio Ventura at the hands of her best men. "No foreign ties, no weird bank transfers......ah, quite a few parking tickets. Like, a lot of parking tickets. Does this guy not know how to read street signs?" General Marcela shrugged her shoulders.

"He owes about a million Sen in parking tickets and court fees. And he's terrible at betting so he probably owes a bookie about 3.5 million Sen. Mr. Ventura here probably was desperate for a big scoop that could earn him a lot of money to pay off a large portion of his debts." The Consul was about to reply before a loud scream could be heard from the other side of the one way window. "Remind me, how is this legal?" She gave her compatriot a bombastic side eye before regaining composure.

"After clearing it with Supreme Justice Toussaint, the Emperor technically can what he wants as long as it is in the 'best interests' of the Empire. The only reason this wasn't really a thing for the last few Emperors is because they chose not to do so. Knowing Cuauhtémoc, he's only allowing this due to the concerns of a breach in the government. Else, he probably would be against this." Consul Felipe grew peeved. "Which is a smart thing and the reason why he was chosen. And it's Emperor Cuauhtémoc, remember that." The two of them glared at each other, causing the few others with enough security clearance to even be in that room to feel awkward.

"Dragutin Tomčić! That's who they sent to tell me about the Killian story. My job was to confirm it and make it appear as if I figured it out on my own. If I was convincing enough, they would give me a bonus on top of my original payment. Just find Dragutin Tomčić and the truth will be revealed. Please let me go. PLEASE!" The two cabinet members looked at the events unfolding in front of them before looking back at each other. "Find me everything we know about this Mr.Tomčić. Now!" The workers around them jolted into action and started searching and calling anyone and everyone to find out more about this new lead. "Uhh, we've got a hit."

The meek voice drew the attention of Marcela and Felipe over to the laptop that the owner of the voice had open. There, the three of them confirmed their worst suspicion: Dragutin Tomčić was a member of the government: specifically, the Ministry of Domestic Affairs. "I'll reach out to Patsy and let her know she has a rat on her ship," announced Felipe. "Good. You do that and I'll work with I.T. to revoke all of his access ASAP. Unfortunately that should alert him that he's been made but cutting off his access is more vital," responded Marcela followed by a head nod of acknowledgement by the Consul. "Do it." While the two may not be the best of friends, they understood the severity of the situation and the importance of getting things done.

It helped that both of them came to the same conclusion: this was merely a test run. If whomever Tomčić worked for could leak something like this, they would surely ramp up and attempt to leak even more confidential and damaging information on the next attempt. That was the last thing any one who cared about the Empire wanted.

Which meant the hunt for Dragutin Tomčić was on.

[Audioslavia]

The Dawn of Quak
Written: January 2023, April 2025

Quakmybush qualified outright for World Cup 29, helped by the unravelling of Praying2God and the surprise domination of the group by McPsychoville. This is just the eighth time that a newcomer has made a KPB-era World Cup at their first attempt, or just the third time if you don’t want to include the slightly weird World Cup 24.

It’s a performance that puts Quakmybush among a group of just twenty-nine teams to have qualified despite attaining only 1.5 Points Per Game or fewer. It's a rare feat. The previous time a team had done that was three cycles earlier, when a team qualified for World Cup 26 on a 5-3-4 record.

That team was, er Praying2God. For further context, only one team has managed to qualify for the World Cup on 1.5 Points Per Game in the entire post-Jolt era. Pridenstrovia in World Cup 75. Three thousand, seven hundred and five teams in history have attained more than 1.5 Points Per Game in a qualifying campaign without actually qualifying.

Quakmybush were lucky, certainly, but this is a capable team. The talismanic John Fields is an ever-present in the middle, alongside Cory Sorley, while the exploits of goalkeeper Cam Carroll may be what keeps the side in the hunt for qualification throughout their debut cycles.

The Quakmybush national soccer team played another qualifying round game today, and suffered a 1-0 loss to Mcpsychoville, not a surprise by any means. The real surprise was Quakmybush's goaltender Cam Carroll. He played amazing, stopping 15 shots, including a penalty.

:- Quakmybush 2006-06-24

Cam Carroll continued his spectacular goaltending with another penalty save.

:- Quakmybush 2006-06-25

Cam Carroll played another stellar game in net saving the game fro Quakmybush in the 90th minute.

:- Quakmybush 2006-06-26

Quakmybush's goal scorer was Cory Sorley in the 89th minute, but it was too little too late. Cam Carroll played well in net again. The team still remains in second of their qualifying group.

:- Quakmybush 2006-06-27

This is Vic Rauter from the TSN soccer network, bringing you the results of the Quakmybush - Athestic Right World Cup 29 qualifying match. The national team came out and played very well in the 1st half having 81% possession. However, they only managed one real quality shot on the Athestic Right keeper. The team kept their momentum in the second half. Andrew Plett scored 1 minute and 45 seconds into the second half. The team then continued to keep the ball away from their opponents. Cam Carroll made a beutiful save in extra time to keep the team in the lead. The team now sits 3rd in their group tied with Tylenia, but losing on goal differencial. Tommorrow the squad faces undefeated Mcpsychoville in a very important match. Last time the team faced Mcpsychoville the result was a 1-0 loss. The team played well but couldnt find the net. The team will have to play high pressure offence to keep the game close.

ooc: this is like my best RP

:- Quakmybush, 2006-07-01

Together, these players will form the spine of this team for over ten tournaments, dragging their nation towards the Last 32 at almost every opportunity. They would prove World Cup 29 was no fluke by putting together an eight-game unbeaten run in World Cup 30 qualifying, rounding out the campaign with a 5-0 demolition of Demot to make it two qualifications from two attempts.

The side would have one more shock in store.

Tv Reporter:The Quakmybush Sharks started their World Cup 30 Group Stage play yesterday with a shocking 1-0 win over World number 3 seed and, last World Cup champions Casari. The teams played very evenily in the first half with a 54 to 46 possession to Casari. Then in the second half the game was very back and forth, and finally in the 76th minute the Sharks scored *goes to clip* "Fields comes down the left side, he passes of the Sorley, and back to Fields and a shot..... ET LA BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Sharks have a one to nil lead." The Sharks managed to hold on for the one-nil win and now sit atop their qualifying group which shocks many people. For QSN im Harry Horton.

:- Quakmybush 2006-09-13

A heavy matchday three defeat would see Quakmybush eliminated on goal difference. Even more cruelly, the twenty-five exclamation marks after et la but (‘but’ is ‘goal’ in French, if you’re confused) in the above RP are only good enough for the second most exclamation-marked phrase of that cup’s RP thread, one behind Milchama

2-1 Milchama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marin Keffer has scored what looks to be the winning goal in the 80th minute to give the Warriors the lead.

:- Milchama 2006-08-20

and three ahead of Milchama

These guys are ranked 129 in the world, 129!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is just pathetic that we are not blowing teams like this out of the water.

:- Milchama 2006-08-22

Quakmybush, like Raging Penguins and Praying2God, are somewhat Lancrean in their RP style. It’s the old-school approach. Good old pre-2008 Standard Definition RPing. Sit. Spend anywhere between four and four and a half minutes writing whatever is on your mind. Do not check your work. Do not even hit ‘backspace’. Mash and mash and hit ‘send’. If you read any text coming out of Audioslavia between 2003 and 2006, it’s probably in this style.

Looking back twenty years later, it’s this style of RP that I find the most captivating. The more stream-of-consciousness the RP, the clearer the mirror into the mind of the writer, and the clearer the reflection of the time they’re in. As a personal example, the likelihood of a random Audioslavian match report from the time containing sexist, homophobic or ableist language is very much not zero. Audioslavians were not, as a rule, any of those things. This is either a reflection of the fact that 2004’s definition of acceptable language was very much different to the modern era or, equally likely, that I'm just less of a dick now than I was 20 years ago, and that the line has never moved. Either way, the fact that I wrote like that says something about me and something about the time I wrote in that a less haphazard RP might not.

Aside from the occasional ribald reference to the salacious private lives of a few of the players, there’s no such problematic language coming from Quakmybush. 2006 Quakmybush is a much more refined taste than 2006 Audioslavia. Here’s a small sample from one RP. Just look at the richness of this bouquet:

Chris Bircking didnt get much credit, he was a reserve on the Quakmybush National Soccer Team. He was doing some door-to-door sales work for the team, he had picked it out of hat.

:- Quakmybush 24-10-2006

What a vibrant, chaotic world this simple sentence creates. And yes, we do rather have to go back and apologise to Raging Penguins: Players from a professional international football team being pressed into occasional door-to-door sales work is not as unprecedented as we might have thought. Rather beautifully, Quakmybush appears to decide which of its footballers to press into impersonating an Avon-lady via random numbers. What are they selling? "Stuff to support the Quakmybush Soccer Team" is the only answer given. What on earth does that mean? Shirts? Flags? Those enormous foam hands with fingers pointing up? I love that it’s never specified.

Chris Bircking’s story involves some bawdy romping with ‘birds’, some locker-room bragging, and something that appears at first to be a sexually transmitted disease but is, instead, food poisoning.

"I have some bad news, and some worse news." The doctor said

"Well.... tell me the bad news first." Chris said.

"You have 24 hours to live." the doctor said.

"Oh My God, what could be worse than that." Chris replied.

"Well, i tried to reach you yesterday." the doctor said. A look of sheer terror came over Chris' face.

:-Quakmybush 2006-10-27

Objectively funny.

"That's horrible I'm going to die soon." Chris said. The doctor then burst out in laughter. "What the fuck is so funny about me dying?!" he yelled at the doctor.

"Bahahha, it was only a joke, the other doctor's each paid me 75 Hubes to do that" the doctor said.

:-Quakmybush 2006-10-27

As I said earlier, this type of RP is a reflection of the times. In May 2006, an RL-states football team famously lost a big game due to a bout of food-poisoning, on that occasion scoffing some apparently tainted lasagnas. Quakmybush are the fifth nation to have a player come down with food poisoning in as many months, after The Archregimancy (the first, a week after the RL-states incident) Spaam, Ac-cz and Bettia. In the previous eighteen months of international football, there had only been one reference to food poisoning. If a team hasn't been mass-poisoned on the eve of a game in RL states recently, then the average RPer is unlikely to come up with the concept themselves unless they were really, really keen to explain away a loss without implying their team is less than perfect.

6-YEAR-OLD WARRIORS UPSET IN FINAL MINUTE BY SOUTH OSETTIAN REFEREE
Foul play suspected in food poisoning of regular national team

A team of 6-year-olds came within a tenth of a second of doing what no Praying2God national team has done before...earn a point in a match refereed by a South Osettian. However, it is suspected that the South Osettian referee waited .11 of a second too long to blow the whistle to end the match. The 6-year-olds played admirably against 201st ranked Popolus, taking an early 1-0 lead and keeping the match even at one from the 66th minute until the controversial goal at the end of the match. The 6-year-olds were playing because a case of food poisoning struck down the whole national team, including its coaching staff. Praying2God authorities are looking into the suspicious situation to determine possible suspects. It is believed to be the work of somebody from a nation that does not want to see the Warriors qualify, and costing them the easy three points in this match was a golden opportunity for them. The South Osettian referee wasn't so fortunate, as he was arrested upon leaving the stadium and taken to an undisclosed location. We have no word on his current status. We will pass along more information as we get it.

:- Praying2God 2006-03-09

And yes, they used ‘we were represented by a team of six year-olds’ twice. This is just something Praying2God did. As if it wasn’t bad enough to go ‘oh you played Under Sevens team’, they went there twice. It’s not the only inexplicable well they revisited.

Praying2God's match against the nation of Beestings was decided before the opening whistle when six of Praying2God's starters were given red cards for "uniform violations."

:- Praying2God - 2004-01-09. World Cup 11 RP Thread

The Warriors had to play short-handed 9 on 11 the whole match because the referees told the starters they couldn't play because of uniform inconsistancies when they were all wearing the same uniform in the same style. However, the refs were generous enough to allow the subs to play, but at the same time they ruled that the starters could not go back into the locker room and change their uniforms to match the style the subs were wearing theirs' in (which was the same style in the first place)

:- Praying2God - 2004-02-19. World Cup 12 RP Thread.

Quakmybush aren’t the type for excuses. This is a team that is well aware they’ve been flying close to the sun. Having qualified outright for World Cups 29 and 30, their luck appears to desert them in World Cup 31. Going into the final matchday, they are level on points with the team in third place, they are level on Goal Difference with the team in third place, but they are stuck behind them on Head to Head record. To make matters worse, while their rivals have to play mid-table Spindonia, Quakmybush must go one on one with the great ones. The World Number Ones. Starblaydia.

The team needed to win, and by a lot for any chance of qualification. The game started off bad for the Sharks with Lawrence Asante putting a shot in the top corner on Cam Carroll. It looked bleak, very bleak. The team still played well, going into the break only down by one. Then early in the second half Jon Fields put one behind Paola Mendez. Xed City Stadium erupted, the Sharks had scored, and had received some much needed momentum. Five minutes later Cory Sorley put in another. The stadium was going nuts. The team was up on World Number One Starblaydia. The noise must have gotten to the Starblaydis as they could never hear orders from anywhere. This caused John Fields to steal the ball and go in on the keeper alone. Fields placed his shot perfectly and made it 3-1 Quakmybush.

:- Quakmybush 2007-11-08

Elsewhere, Spindonia had taken a 1-0 lead halfway through the second half. It was surely over? There would need to be a three goal swing to prevent the Sharks from qualifying. In fact, make that a four-goal swing.

Fields received a beautiful cross from Sorley and he headed it in to make it 4-1 Quakmybush. Needless to say the stadium erupted with noise. Most fans thought the Sharks had done it. The team went back to the locker room only to see…

:- Quakmybush 2007-11-08

…only to see that their rivals for third place had equalised. And had taken the lead. And had gone 3-1 up, and then 4-1 up.

The team was heartbroken.
"You know, this is probably the worst feeling I have ever had in my life." Jon Fields said. "It's just horrible." he added. He then started to sob and left.

:- Quakmybush 2007-11-08

Level on points, level on goal difference, behind on Head to Head. If only they’d beaten their rivals when they had the chance.

I started my first ever game of the World Cup qualifiers yesterday, it made some of the vetrans kinda mad, but whatever. It was awsome in the first half I rang a shot of the crossbar, it was so close, but so far. Those penguins were really scary, they were big, and ugly looking, and they had weapons. The one penguin had a grenade that he threw into a corner, and it made a huge crater. And then in the second half he through the grenade again, and it scared me so bad that I kicked the ball into my own net.... the teams was kinda angry, and I understand why, so if I'm not killed by tomorrow, I'll try and write again

Love,Matt

:-Quakmybush 2007-10-22

Quakmybush’s luck hadn’t run out. Murderous refuseniks Raging Penguins were the team ahead. They duly recused themselves from their automatic qualification spot. Quakmybush would qualify after all.

The next morning the mood was a bit better as the team knew they had World Cup 32 to look forward to. "Ya, it sucks, but hey we are all still alive aren’t we?" Cory Sorley said. At about 12:30 in the afternoon the team received some news. This news was horrifying, but good. The whole team of the Raging Penguins, except for Deadly Penguin were killed in a Freak Carpet-Bombing-Followed-By-Tactical-Nukes-Napalm-And-Genetically-Modified-Ninjas Accident. The team was now in the World Cup. Most of the players didn’t know how to feel. It was good that they were in the World Cup, but bad because they were only in because most of a team had lost there lives. "Wow, this is a surprise, first of all condolences to the families of those hurt by this freak accident. Second of all let's go out and win some games." Coach Greg Hughes said. In honour of the fallen penguins, the team will wear these special patches on their jerseys for all World Cup 31 Finals games.

:- Quakmybush 2007-11-08

In a rare success for 20 year-old JPEGs, the image for this specially created patch has survived

Quakmybush were eliminated in the first round, but would qualify again in cycle 32, making the knockouts for the first time.

Having started as a joke, Quakmybush had qualified in each of their first four attempts. Their newfound respectability would be rewarded. Following a successful host vote, World Cup 33 would be held in Quakmybush. The greatest tournament in world sport would be played at famous stadia such as Xed City Stadium, Jinkton City Field and The Ruckus Room.

In cycle 33, Quakmybush is where the party is. Qualifying will see the whole multiverse scrambles to get themselves an invite.

Among the teams vying for a place in Quakmybush is a side that, at this point, have spent their entire footballing history in the middle reaches of the rankings. Despite having started their international football journey at the same time as Quakmybush, they are without a single qualification to their name. They are ordinary. Luckless. Middle-of-the-road.

They are some team called

*checks notes*

Elves Security Forces.

---

Mars Attacks

After extending their streak of clean sheets to five games in a row, with a clear goal of continuing their run right to the end of qualifying, the Audioslavia national team were upset away to M.I.R. last night in a brutal blow to Monterroso's men.

The shock came early, just seventy seconds into the game, with young Spiders striker Giovanni Caballi finding space in the channels and finishing a through pass beyond Hélder for the go-ahead goal.

Their clean sheet streak snapped and their confidence shaken, the Bulls took until the second half to get back into the game, with two glorious chances coming early in the second half. The latter of which could barely have been handed more neatly to Cavagnaro. A wayward defensive pass from Vesperi, an immediate pass from Cass to Buckley and then across the six yard box to Cavagnaro, behind the defence, but the forward could only find the side netting with the keeper still scrambling to make up the ground.

The Martian Independent Republic doubled their lead just three minutes later. Albert Carver combined with Rohan Jowling in the centre to create enough space for captain Katzenburg to shoot, fizzing an effort well beyond the keeper's reach for two nothing, and the game.

After dreams of going unbeaten, with their net unsullied, the side instead have their work cut out for them. It's the World Cup in the modern era: Easy games are a thing of the past.

[Saterun]

It was an overcast day at Tukari Kaita National Stadium, in Cobrio. This was a team the Claws had never faced before, and one that had given itself a decent showing in the first four matchdays of qualifying. As the Claws walked out onto the field, thunder rumbled in the distance. Thye weren't supposed to get rain, but Handrix knew the weather could be unpredictable here. Both teams were out to fight in what would be a crucial game, and likely one to give plenty of chances. Both sides leaned towards the attack, and the result would be settled by who could use their chances better.

The game started off relatively evenly, as Cobrio used their home support to try to get in an early goal. For the first fifteen minutes, however, nothing stuck, and the Saterun defense held strong. Ralf Abiatti had to push a few shots aside, but other than that it had been a quiet opening. In the 21st minute, however, a lazy pass from Ochaji Ekpo was intercepted by Vidar Washington near the middle of Saterun half. The midfielder quickly distributed the ball out wide to Crespo Antonsen, who took off down the right flank. He managed to skip past Lemuel Nicholls to create some space, and picked up his head. He managed to get a glimpse of movement in the box, and quickly whipped in a cross. Virtually uncontested, Maksymillian Bates rose in the air to make perfect contact with a header. Moeletsi Musona was rooted to the ground, and could only watch as the ball rifled into the net to put Saterun ahead. 10 minutes later, the Claws would strike again. This time, Hans-Jürgen Becker stood over a free-kick just outside the box. He gave it a good crack, but it only managed to bounce off the post. However, Caesar Ibañez was lying in wait, and merely had to volley it into an open net to double the Claws' lead.

As the teams went into the halftime break, the heavens opened up. It began to torrentially rain, and the weather forecasters didn't expect a let-up anytime soon. To be honest, Vidar liked these kinds of games. Rainy weather increased the speed of passes, making his already slicing through-balls even more damaging. By the time the break was over, the pitch was soaked. However, the fans were still in full spirits. Instruments were loudly played in the stands, and it seemed to galvanize the home team. Cobrio shifted into another gear, and by the 60th minute they were battering the Saterun goal with shots. After a shot was deflected by Abiatti, Christopher Chilcott and Matt Saez both scrambled to get the rebound. Chilcott was faster, however, and managed to touch the ball out of reach of Saez. However, Saez couldn't decelerate fast enough, and so clipped the striker on his back leg. That was all it took to bring down the player, and after a brief VAR review the penalty was given. Chilcott himself calmly slotted it past Abiatti, and the game was back on. 18 minutes later, the Panthers leveled the scores. A good passing move was finished off by Sherwin Gilmore into the bottom left corner, out of reach for Abiatti.

Up until the 87th minute, it didn't look like the teams could be separated. Handrix had brought in a few defensive subs to tighten the defense, and Cobrio hadn't registered a single shot since their second goal. Saterun only had 2 in the same period. However, the game wasn't over yet. As Masoud Shain passed the ball back to Abiatti, the keeper saw Becker running down the sidelines. Abiatti swung the ball out hard to the left, and Becker's skill allowed him to trap the ball down and quickly move down the line. Sensing his moment, Washington called for the ball. He was alone in a half-space, somewhere between the left edge of the field and the middle. Becker heard him, and without even looking passed the ball just in front of the Mieteng City midfielder. Although it was raining so much that he could barely see, Washington did get a glimpse of a red shirt moving between the Cobrio lines. Washington hit the ball cleanly, and it curved and sliced right through the Panthers' back line. Ibañez ran right onto it, and took the ball around Musona to finish off a beautiful team goal. No one else could find the back of the net after that, and the Claws sealed an important win.

Their next game, against American Generations, was much smoother. It was a beautiful day in Mieteng at the Banc of Saterun Park, and the Claws looked in control the entire time. Given that they were playing a lower-ranked opponent, and that they had difficult matches coming up, Handrix opted to rotated for the match. Schlimme, Kirken-Brice, Carlisle, and De Santiago all started instead of the regulars, but it didn't seem to have impacted performance.

Kirken-Brice made in instant impact during his first start of the campaign by setting up the first goal, which Ibañez converted coolly past the Generations keeper. In the first fifteen, Saterun had 78% possession and registered 5 shots on target, which set the tone for the rest of the match. Bates was brought down in the box in the 29th minute, and the Chalesm man converted a cheeky chipped shot with ease. The Claws had also been defensively impressive during the first half, holding the opposition to just one shot. An xG comparison of 2.34 to 0.12 underlined just home dominant the home side had been. A lot of it was likely down to the location, as much of the NT were Mieteng players who had games here every week. Leading 2-0 at halftime, Handrix made more changes, bringing in Cruz, Cook, and Kalemanu.

Kalemanu, who after his breakout season with Urrhed FC had been billed as Saterun's next big thing, wasted no time in terrorizing the Generations defense. He dribbled through three players to set up the third goal, scored by Bates. The teenager had player just one full season of professional football up to this point, but his double-digit G/A return in the most difficult league in the multiverse had been enough to get him into the Saterun squad. He repaid Handrix's faith once again in the 58', when he cut inside to the corner of the box before unleashing a worldie of a shot that the opposing keeper had no chance of saving. With Becker aging, Handrix was happy knowing that Saterun had someone to take the mantle. The rest of the game played out uneventfully, besides on shot from Carlisle that bounced off the crossbar. It had been a complete win from the Claws, as they shot into second place in the group. However, they were about to face their biggest challenge next. Their upcoming two games in qualifying were against Sargossa and Pasarga, two very good teams. It would certainly be a test to see whether Handrix's men could carry on their form and get good results out of the next too games.

[Paradystopia]

It started with an innocuous *fzzp*

Two neurons, making the briefest of rendezvouses, sharing the tiniest iota of electrical energy, and sending forth an insignificant speck of light echoing into empty darkness.

But then there came another.

Something was stirring.

Slowly, it began creaking painfully into action with all the ebullience of a teenager attempting to arise before 9am. An ancient, complex machine, finally put to work after eons of inactivity and striving against it's will to shrug off this inertia.

A third *fzzp* emitted further minute shockwaves into the ether. A fourth, then a fifth.

Amidst the vast, foreboding murk, as the sixth rapidly followed the fifth, one could witness the genesis of a small constellation with the distinct points flickering and pulsing to one another. These points seemed lost in their own conversation, but the light they conveyed was succeeding in peeling back the shadow.

Then the beats began to synchronise.

They chimed in harmony with one another. Their frequencies increased. They grew and grew in intensity before hitting upon a glorious unison. And then ...

---

"The Lyon ARE lions!"

Gédéon Tillett stood over a prostrate Olii.

"Are you ... okay?" he asked partly in curiosity at Olii's outburst, and partly with concern that his attempted clearance so artfully blocked at close range by Olii's head had done some very serious damage to the xat'. Olii however, just lay there gleaming at his recent epiphany. He wasn't even aware that aforementioned blocked clearance had ricocheted into the Vixette goal past a very surprised Félicien Mercier.

Anja Bortland ran over to check as Gédéon returned to his team with a shrug of disbelief.

"Olii, you scored, you crazy xat'! Are you okay?"
"Did you know that the Lyon are lions?!"
"Well, yes ... we have been playing against them for nearly an hour already ..."
"Oh, ok ... Is it sleepy-time by the way? I think I need a nap ..."

---

WCQ MD6
.             Paradystopia 1-0 Vixette
    Olii 55'

[Kwrpania]

---

SPORT

Electric Eels stun Esportivan champions, remain top of Group 4

REŃBAN‚ SOUTH PROVINCE – A backdrop of breathtaking natural beauty and the crashing of fireworks was the setting for a sensational result as the Kwrpan national team defeated reigning Campionato Esportiva champions and World Cup knockout side Eshialand, 2-0.

Tempers have been running high in the South over the past several weeks, with locals becoming increasingly frustrated with the government's response to steady heavy rains that have led to province-wide flooding. This match, thusly, appeared to be a release, with the South Province Football Development Center filling out completely over two hours before kickoff, leading thousands who had traveled from across the province to gather wherever possible at the edges of stadium fences or even at the tops of nearby trees. "Let's make some magic in the forest," stated Eshian manager Kenny Morgan in an interview with domestic media, and magic would certainly be made - though not of the type of his preference. While the Eshians initially looked to dominate possession and push the Kwrpan defense into their own half, the Electric Eels showed a fight that they have consistently since qualification began, and central midfielder Magnws-rab made a statement of intent cannoning the ball off the crossbar from well outside the penalty area on 25 minutes.

The first half would end goalless, however, allowing the small but passionate crowd to refuel and make a clear point to any visitors still inadequately informed as to the nature of the place they had been sent to. The second half's opening whistle was met with the thunderous clap of a giant firework, beginning a ten-minute span of crushing noise only interrupted by the cheers accompanying a Kwrpan goal. 17-year-old Mamzwb-bab, playing in front of their home crowd, was the first to capitalize on the chaos that the fireworks show occurring seemingly directly above the pitch provided, springing forward on the overlap and sliding a perfect pass to the penalty spot, where striker Vabwpro-pyt arrived to thump the ball home and give a now ecstatic crowd the lead. With a steady smoke now covering the pitch, from fireworks and flares alike, the Eshians found it suddenly difficult to even play out of their own third, and a loose pass from Eshian keeper Lani Garrett was pounced on by Vabwpro-pyt, who did brilliantly to keep their cool and slot the ball into the bottom right corner, before running off and jumping into the crowd.

As the fireworks show slowly tailed out to an occasional patter, the Eshians grew into the game, and FC Dynamo Maryansk winger Valentina Vashikova showed their intent with a zipping shot to force a quality stop out of keeper Fakswr-rof. Vashikova and striker Will Sandrie would combine shortly after to produce another chance that Vashikova slid narrowly wide. Sandrie would force another save out of Fakswr-rof late on, but the pressure would not be rewarded, and an elated Kwrpan bench poured onto the field to celebrate the full-time whistle. "I could not be more proud of this team," began manager Dobgazoz-bof post-game. "We fought and fought in the first half and came out of the gates on fire in the second, and Vabwpro-pyt absolutely deserves that brace. They've been so good in training, so good in these games, and the crowd - by the Father, the atmosphere is so excellent down here, just top class, and they earned that victory as much as any of these players did."

Next for the Electric Eels was a trip to Arrosia and the Busoga Islands to take on another side who had participated in the last World Cup knockouts. Orange Field in Dukuma was the venue on a steaming night for a match that was initially cagey, as a slow start from the Kwrpan side was matched by the defensive style of the Islanders. Center back Bezypman-bof wasn't intent on hanging around in their national team debut, though, and they threaded the defense brilliantly to find Magnws-fen for the National Fisheries striker's first national team goal. The rest of the game would be rather devoid of action, as the Islanders struggled with breaking down what has been an increasingly solid Kwrpan defense, while the sweltering conditions kept high-energy sprints to a minimum. With the hosts pushing increasingly further forward in search of an equalizer, it was Magnws-rym that would kill the game off, winning a footrace to get on to the end of a long clearance before being dragged down in the area by Islander left back Mohammed Bota. Magnws-rym would slot the penalty home himself for his thirteenth national team goal, and the Kwrpan side walked off the field at the end of the game in a position none could have dreamed off at the beginning of qualification. Top of the group, with the best goal difference, and six points clear of fourth-placed Eshialand - it was a lead that could slip oh so quickly, but they had it, and they would continue to treasure it.

Up next for the Electric Eels are a pair of home matches, one against 5th-placed Sudilia and the other against bottom side Tevuekk. Sudilia entered the recent pair of matchdays in second in the group, but a pair of losses away at the Busoga Islands and then at home to resurgent Juvencus put a dent in their qualification hopes. Tevuekk got their first win of qualification at home against Jeruselem on Matchday Five, though they were thrashed in a visit to Eshialand shortly after. Both matches, as with all remaining World Cup qualification matches, will be broadcast live on KBN1, with pre-match coverage beginning two hours before kickoff. Tickets to Kwrpan home matches are available at www.kff.co.kwr/byva.

Kwrpania 2-0 Eshialand
South Province Football Development Center, Reńban, South Province, Kwrpania
Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Synydwb-pyt, Petobsw-nam, Fandwrsw-vyz, Mamzwb-bab; Pykpytyr-myf, Vabwpetob-zok, Magnws-rab, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-rym, Vabwpro-pyt
Goals: Vabwpro-pyt 46', Vabwpro-pyt 48'

Busoga Islands 0-2 Kwrpania
Orange Field, Dukuma, North Islands, Busoga Islands
Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Rynropeka-mwń, Fandwrsw-vyz, Bezypman-bof, Petobzoz-tyb; Pykpytyr-myf, Magnws-rab, Gofanws-vyn, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-rym, Magnws-fen
Goals: Magnws-fen 18', Magnws-rym 83'

Kwrpania vs. Sudilia
National Stadium, Tydebwg, North Province, Kwrpania
Projected Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Rynropeka-mwń, Petobsw-nam, Fandwrsw-vyz, Petobzoz-tyb; Pabofen-nam, Vabwpetob-zok, Magnws-rab, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-rym, Vabwpro-pyt

Kwrpania vs. Tevuekk
Capital Park, Kwrpanmap, Capital Province, Kwrpania
Projected Lineup: Pykpyzwba-nam; Synydwb-pyt, Petobsw-nam, Fandwrsw-vyz, Mamzwb-bab; Pykpytyr-myf, Vabwpetob-zok, Gofanws-vyn, Taftyr-mwń; Magnws-fen, Venzemtyr-map

---

SPORT

Bright League matchdays seven through twelve: Ironworks surge as Tranquility sink

Foresters 3–2 Tranquility (Derby of the South)
	[FOR] Mepzab-rab 10' (Mamzwb-bab)
	[FOR] Pabofen-nor 23' (Robensw-map)
	[TRNQ] Vabwzyb-kes 30' 
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 81' (Venzemsw-map)
	[TRNQ] Venzemtyr-map 90+4'
Ironworks 3–0 Dynamo
	[IRON] Rynropeka-fen 11' (Petobdwb-mwń)
	[IRON] Petobyr-pyt 30' 
	[DYN] RED-2Y Synydwb-pyt 43'
	[DYN] RED Foraf-naf 65'
	[IRON] Rynropeka-fen 66' 
KNAF 3–3 DTSclub
	[KNAF] Gofanws-vym 3' 
	[DTS] G. Vilhjálmsson 7' (Mepesw-myf)
	[DTS] Á. Sigurdsson 16' 
	[KNAF] Tafzwba-tyb 22' 
	[DTS] Á. Sigurdsson 84' 
	[KNAF] Tafzwba-tyb 90+6' (Magnws-pes)
Mist Valley 0–0 Central
National Fisheries 3–1 Sunset Coast
	[NTFS] Pykpytyr-myf 15' 
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 60' (Pykpytyr-myf)
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 69' 
	[SNST] Magnws-rab 74' 
Railways 3–2 River Society
	[RVS] Fyrek-nam 27' 
	[RAIL] Vabwpro-pyt 41' (Robentyr-map)
	[RAIL] Foraf-bab 45+3' (Tafzwba-vyn)
	[RVS] RED Kwrestan-pyt 62'
	[RVS] RED Fyrek-nam 76' 
	[RAIL] Taftyr-vyz 85' (Vabwpro-pyt)
	[RVS] Vepybwń-nam 87'

A late Venzemtyr-map goal wasn't enough to save Tranquility from defeat in the first Derby of the South of the season, while an ill-tempered Tydebwg clash saw two Dynamo players sent off as Ironworks romped to a comfortable victory. KNAF talisman Tafzwba-tyb lit up Capital Park with a dramatic goal deep into added time, while Mist Valley and Central played to a dull draw in pouring rain. Magnws-fen put National Fisheries back on track with a brace, while two second-half red cards saw River Society implode to defeat against Railways.

Tranquility 4–3 River Society
	[RVS] Pytwr-zok 28' (Fandwrsw-bof)
	[TRNQ] Petobsw-nam 38' (Fyrek-nam)
	[TRNQ] Petobsw-nam 45' (Bwgdwb-fen)
	[RVS] Vepybwń-nam 47' (Konoztyr-rym)
	[RVS] Konoztyr-rym 54' (Reńebme-bet)
	[TRNQ] Vabwzyb-kes 61' (Bwgdwb-fen)
	[TRNQ] Venzemtyr-map 67' (Petobsw-nam)
Sunset Coast 0–1 Railways
	[RAIL] Foraf-bab 69' (Tafzwba-vyn)
	[RAIL] RED Pykpysw-mwń 90'
Central 4–3 National Fisheries
	[CENT] Segdwb-fen 3' (Mamzwb-myf)
	[NTFS] Petobdwb-fen 5' (Gagwpwt-zok)
	[NTFS] Pykpytyr-myf 16' (Petobdwb-fen)
	[CENT] Taftyr-nor 26' (Mepezwba-nam)
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 52' (Pykpytyr-myf)
	[CENT] Mepezwba-nam 66' (Bwgdwb-bab)
	[CENT] Mepezwba-nam 82' (Vabwpetob-zok)
DTSclub 1–2 Mist Valley
	[MIST] Petobzoz-pyt 8' 
	[DTS] D. Taklik 45+5' 
	[MIST] Rynropeka-pyt 57' (Denrefwp-bok)
Dynamo 0–2 KNAF
	[KNAF] Venzemzwb-pyt 11' (Pykpysw-fem)
	[KNAF] Mepzab-mwń 87' (Gofanws-vym)
Foresters 3–4 Ironworks
	[FOR] Mamzwb-bab 9' (Mepezwba-naf)
	[IRON] Gofanws-zok 23' (Taftyr-mwń)
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 41' (Robensw-map)
	[IRON] Magnws-rym 45+1' 
	[IRON] Magnws-rym 45+4' (Petobyr-pyt)
	[IRON] Magnws-rym 62' (Gofanws-zok)
	[FOR] Robensw-map 90+5' (Venzemsw-map)

Tranquility bounced back from their derby disappointment in a seven-goal thriller over River Society, while a late Railways red card wasn't enough for Sunset Coast to prevent the visitors from leaving with all three points. A late Mepezwba-nam brace fired Central over National Fisheries, while Mist Valley stole a victory against the run of play away in Frjálshöfn. KNAF comfortably handled Dynamo with one early and one late goal, and a Magnws-rym hat-trick on either side of halftime was enough for Ironworks to extend their winning run to four straight games.

Ironworks 2–1 Tranquility
	[TRNQ] Vepybwń-bof 7' (Venzemtyr-map)
	[IRON] Rynropeka-fen 9' 
	[IRON] RED 2Y Rynropeka-fen 48'
	[IRON] Magnws-rym 88' 
KNAF 1–5 Foresters
	[FOR] Venzemsw-map 22' (Mepezwba-naf)
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 77' (Mwfpentyr-bof)
	[KNAF] Venzemzwb-pyt 88' (Pykpysw-fem)
	[FOR] Mepzab-rab 90+2' (Venzemsw-map)
	[FOR] Mepzab-rab 90+4' 
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 90+6' (Mwfpentyr-bof)
Mist Valley 0–1 Dynamo
	[DYN] Taftyr-map 45+2' (Mykar-pyt)
National Fisheries 3–2 DTSclub
	[NTFS] Petobdwb-fen 4' (Venzemsw-bym)
	[NTFS] Foraf-fen 43' (Pykpytyr-myf)
	[DTS] G. Vilhjálmsson 44' 
	[NTFS] Foraf-fen 69' (Pykpyzwba-nam)
	[DTS] G. Vilhjálmsson 90+5' 
Railways 1–0 Central
	[RAIL] Tafzwba-vyn 23' (Fyrek-rof)
River Society 1–5 Sunset Coast
	[SNST] Pykpyzwba-pyt 14' (Mepzab-pyt)
	[SNST] Mepzab-pyt 40' (Magnws-rab)
	[SNST] Magnws-rab 45+4' (Petobfen-bof)
	[SNST] Mwfpensw-nam 62' 
	[SNST] Mepzab-pyt 63' (Magnws-rab)
	[RVS] Konoztyr-bof 77' (Mykar-tyb)

Rynropeka-fen had an entertaining cameo as he equalized for Ironworks before being sent off shortly after the half (though Magnws-rym had another classic late winner to keep the winning run going), while Foresters piled on three goals in second-half stoppage time to make the scoreline an embarrassing one for KNAF. Dynamo eked out a narrow victory on a trip to Mist Valley, while National Fisheries survived a late scare from DTSclub to hold on for all three points. Railways needed a solitary early goal to get past Central, while a scoring outburst from Sunset Coast led them to a thrashing of hosts River Society.

Tranquility 1–3 Sunset Coast
	[SNST] Mepesw-mwń 43' (Pykpyzwba-pyt)
	[SNST] Mepesw-mwń 54' (Mwfpensw-nam)
	[SNST] Petobsw-nam 70' (Mepzab-pyt)
	[TRNQ] Petobwń-nor 77' (Petobzoz-kes)
Central 2–0 River Society
	[CENT] Mepezwba-nam 5' (Venzemzwb-myf)
	[CENT] Venzemzwb-myf 17' (Vabwpetob-zok)
DTSclub 0–1 Railways
	[RAIL] Foraf-bab 45'
Dynamo 3–4 National Fisheries (North Coast Derby)
	[DYN] Rynropeka-gyv 8' (Petobwń-map)
	[DYN] Petobdwb-zok 26' (Mykar-pyt)
	[NTFS] Petobdwb-fen 35' 
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 49' (Bwgsw-pes)
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 52' (Pykpytyr-myf)
	[NTFS] Mepzab-bof 62' 
	[DYN] Segdwb-nam 84' (Petobdwb-zok)
Foresters 2–1 Mist Valley
	[MIST] Konosw-gyv 24' (Denrefwp-bys)
	[FOR] Mepzab-rab 79' (Venzemsw-map)
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 90+6' 
Ironworks 2–0 KNAF
	[IRON] Petobwń-pyt 50' (Fandwrsw-vyz)
	[IRON] Robenzwba-pes 75'

Sunset Coast built off of the previous week's thrashing as they travelled south to Tranquility, while Central scored early and held tight as they comfortably saw off River Society. DTS couldn't find a goal at home against Railways as their struggle continued, while the first North Coast Derby of the season was a thriller as National Fisheries scored four in 30 minutes to take down league leaders Dynamo. Foresters scored late and then much, much later as they defeated Mist Valley, while Ironworks won again as they coasted past KNAF.

KNAF 3–2 Tranquility
	[TRNQ] Bwgdwb-fen 25' (Petobsw-nam)
	[KNAF] Venzemzwb-pyt 37' (Pykpysw-fem)
	[KNAF] Mepzab-mwń 40' (Pykpysw-fem)
	[KNAF] Mepzab-mwń 64' (Pykpyzwba-zok)
	[TRNQ] Petobwń-nor 72' 
Mist Valley 1–1 Ironworks
	[IRON] Petobdwb-mwń 17' (Magnws-rym)
	[MIST] Denrefwp-bok 30' (Denrefwp-nam)
National Fisheries 5–2 Foresters
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 17' 
	[NTFS] Petobdwb-fen 18' (Venzemsw-bym)
	[NTFS] Mepzab-bof 21' 
	[FOR] Mepzab-pyt 45+2' 
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 52' (Mepzab-bof)
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 60' (Robensw-map)
	[NTFS] Magnws-fen 90+6' (Pykpysw-fem)
Railways 0–1 Dynamo
	[DYN] Rynropeka-gyv 57' 
River Society 2–5 DTSclub
	[DTS] Á. Sigurdsson 14' (B. Heimisson)
	[DTS] Pabofen-map 42' 
	[DTS] Mepesw-myf 62' (Á. Sigurdsson) 
	[DTS] G. Vilhjálmsson 70' (Gagwsob-nam)
	[RVS] Vepybwń-nam 71' (Reńebme-bet)
	[DTS] Á. Sigurdsson 80' (B. Heimisson)
	[RVS] Vepybwń-nam 90+5' 
	[RVS] RED Fandwsrsw-bof 90+7'
Sunset Coast 2–1 Central
	[SNST] Mwfpensw-nam 7' 
	[SNST] Mepzab-pyt 77' 
	[CENT] Mepezwba-nam 90+5' (Synydwb-bab)

KNAF bounced back from last week's disappointment as Tranquility lost their third game on the bounce, while Ironworks' winning streak ended as they couldn't find a winner away at Mist Valley. Three goals in five minutes was enough to lift National Fisheries over visiting Foresters, while Dynamo needed a solitary goal to take home all three points from the capital. DTSclub broke out of their slump as they thrashed River Society, and Central left it too little too late as they lost away in the West.

Tranquility 3–3 Central
	[TRNQ] Venzemtyr-map 7' 
	[TRNQ] Venzemtyr-map 22' (Mepezwba-mwń)
	[CENT] Pabofen-nam 26' (Venzemzwb-myf)
	[CENT] Vabwpetob-zok 33' (Pabofen-nam)
	[CENT] Segdwb-fen 59' (Sobeta-nam)
	[TRNQ] Venzemtyr-map 77' (Fyrek-nam)
Sunset Coast 1–0 DTSclub
	[SNST] Petobsw-keb 77' (Petobfen-bof)
River Society 0–0 Dynamo
	[RVS] RED Synysw-mwń 13'
	[DYN] RED Mykar-pyt 46' 
	[RVS] RED Konosw-rab 62'
Railways 3–5 Foresters
	[FOR] Mepzab-rab 25' (Mwdgas-zok)
	[RAIL] Pykpysw-mwń 29' 
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 40' 
	[RAIL] Vabwpro-pyt 61' (Tafzwba-vyn)
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 63' (Petobwń-map)
	[FOR] Venzemsw-map 70' 
	[FOR] Mepezwba-naf 82' (Petobwń-map)
	[RAIL] Vabwpro-pyt 86' (Pykpysw-mwń)
National Fisheries 0–2 Ironworks
	[IRON] Petobwń-pyt 34' (Fandwrsw-vyz)
	[IRON] Magnws-rym 74' 
Mist Valley 2–4 KNAF
	[MIST] Pykpytyr-byz 27' 
	[KNAF] Mepzab-mwń 42' (Pykpysw-fem)
	[KNAF] Tafzwba-tyb 56' (Venzemzwb-dot)
	[KNAF] Pykpyzwba-zok 64' (Venzemzwb-pyt)
	[MIST] Mepezwba-myf 67' 
	[KNAF] Pykpyzwba-zok 90+5' (Mepzab-mwń)

Tranquility and Central played out a 6-goal thriller in the south that saw the points split evenly, while Sunset Coast scored a scrappy goal to beat new neighbors DTSclub. An extremely ill-tempered match saw three red cards, including for debutant Mykar-pyt, as River Society played out a goalless draw with Dynamo, while Railways and Foresters saw a complete opposite style of game as a Mepezwba-naf hat-trick earned the vistors all three points. Ironworks extended their excellent form with a win on a trip to the north coast, while Pykpyzwba-zok's late goal salted away a satifsying victory for KNAF on a trip down the river.

An eight-game unbeaten run has seen Ironworks claim the top spot in the table, while the Northern domination continues as the North Coast Derby rivals sit closely behind. The race for the IFCF places remains tight as five teams remain within three points, while the River Province clubs sit in the bottom half after extremely mediocre starts. DTSclub remains at the bottom of the table as their difficult start to Bright League life continues.

   League Table          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ironworks              12    7   4   1    24   12  +12    25
-----------------------------------------------------------------
 2 Dynamo                 12    7   1   4    19   14   +5    22
 3 National Fisheries     12    6   3   3    30   23   +7    21
 4 Central                12    6   2   4    23   20   +3    20
-----------------------------------------------------------------
 5 Railways               12    6   2   4    18   19   −1    20
 6 Sunset Coast           12    6   1   5    23   18   +5    19
 7 Foresters              12    6   0   6    28   29   −1    18
 8 KNAF                   12    5   1   6    29   34   −5    16
 9 Mist Valley            12    3   3   6    16   22   −6    12
10 River Society          12    3   3   6    20   30  −10    12
11 Tranquility            12    3   2   7    27   31   −4    11
12 DTSclub                12    2   2   8    18   23   −5     8
IFCF Champions League
IFCF Challengers Cup
Golden Sword (Most Goals)
    Mepezwba-naf    Foresters           12
    Magnws-fen      National Fisheries  11
    Magnws-rym      Ironworks           9
    Tafzwba-tyb     KNAF                9
    Mepzab-rab      Foresters           8
Golden Spear (Most Assists)
    Pykpysw-fem     KNAF                5
    Tafzwba-vyn     Railways            5
    Petobdwb-zok    Dynamo              4
    Mykar-pyt       Dynamo              4
    Venzemsw-map    Foresters           4
Golden Shield (Most Clean Sheets)
    Petobwń-map     Dynamo              6
    Pytwr-map       Ironworks           3
    Gofanws-bof     Sunset Coast        3
    Fakswr-rof      Mist Valley         2
    Robensw-dob     Railways            2

---

Recommended Articles
SPORT – Rushmori champions Tikariot up to second amidst razor-thin Group 15
SPORT - Kwrpania is one of thirteen remaining undefeateds - here's a rundown of the other twelve
WEATHER – Rains break in welcome sight for embattled South

[Recuecn]

A Kinder World
Chapter 4

---

Prologue I | Prologue II | Prologue III | Prologue IV | Prologue V

---

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Gracelle Bisset was 86 years old and had had some connection to soccer for as long as she could remember. Fifteen years ago in Reçueçn (where time kept seeming to pause—for the rest of the multiverse it had been twenty-seven World Cups ago) her husband, Jacques Tremblay, had come out of retirement to coach the newborn Équipe Nationale de Reçueçn de Football through its baptism of fire and first World Cup qualification attempt. But for decades before before that, Gracelle had been her husband's support when he coached Savoie Associée. And even before that, she had been a strong player in her own right, playing in one of the amateur leagues that had always been the highest level of competition a woman could aspire to in Reçueçn.

In Reçuecian time, it was about eleven years ago—in the lead-up to World Cup 86—that Gracelle had given Jacques the push he needed to retire. She knew he was getting old, like she was, and needed to step down. It was time for him to rest. But Gracelle was aware that just getting her husband to give up the title of ÉNRF manager wasn't enough. She knew Jacques very well after so many years of marriage, and she knew he would continue to dedicate all his time and energy to Reçuecian soccer if she didn't help him set boundaries for himself. It made sense; after all, both of them loved the sport, and Jacques felt some level of responsibility for its well-being in Reçueçn. But for his own sake, it was time for him to let go. Gracelle had been the one who eased him into that idea.

Tremblay and Bisset had removed themselves from the public eye. But their legacy continued to watch over the ÉNRF even as they stepped away. Every new manager was inevitably compared to Jacques. Every decision was weighed against the standard of "What would Tremblay have done?" Jacques did a good job of not publicizing his opinions—because of course he still had opinions—so that the media wouldn't run away with his ideas and hold them over the head of whatever poor sap had gotten stuck with the manager job most recently.

A decade into Jacques' second retirement, he and Gracelle had finally begun to follow the sport a bit less closely. So it was a surprise to Jacques when one day during World Cup qualifying, Gracelle lunged into the room where he was napping in his lazy-boy. She was clutching a newspaper and pointed to the front page. The headline read "Striking Athletes and Fans Dispersed by Police." There was a full-page photo that had been taken outside the Stade National during Reçueçn's game against West Barack and East Obama. Jacques and Gracelle both recognized the people in it—Gerauld Firaut, who Jacques had picked as captain of Les Licornes back in the Baptism of Fire, was leaning over his fifteen-year-old daughter Rébecca, who was wiping at her tear-filled eyes as the two of them were caught in a cloud of tear-gas. Her protest sign, "Laissez-moi jouer", was just visible on the ground at her feet where she had dropped it in pain.

"Oh mon Dieu," exclaimed Jacques. "Why would they treat that girl like that!?"

"If you'd care to look at the world around you, mon cher mari, you'll notice that women are not exactly given fair treatment in everything."

"But this is egregious! This photo will incense people! If the federation called to break up the protest, that's maybe the biggest PR mistake I've ever seen. People across the nation are going to be rallying against them now!"

Gracelle smiled. "I hope so. I wouldn't be surprised if Jeanne Chartray had pulled some strings at the Times to have this as a full front-page story. But she's doing the right thing."

"I still can't believe it," said Jacques, taking the newspaper from Gracelle and examining the photo again. "I just can't believe it."

"If you read the article," Gracelle said, "they printed a few words Gerauld said before the cops got there. He's quite eloquent, I think. I hadn't followed the details of the protests too closely, but I'm feeling inspired to take part."

"And have the police fire canisters of tear-gas at you at 86 years old!?" exclaimed Jacques. "You're out of your mind!"

"I don't think I am," said Gracelle. "I think I owe it to the girls of Reçueçn. What have I done with my years of involvement in Soccer? Young Rébecca has done more in a few months than I've done in half a century or more. If I had had her spirit at her age, I could have pushed for the change we need, and she would never have had to worry about not being able to play!"

"Don't blame yourself," said Jacques. "You can't feel guilty for that, it's not your fault."

"No, it's the fault of those pig-headed patriarchs at the federation, and someone has got to make them see the error of their ways! I'm going to give the Firauts a call this evening, see how they're doing, and maybe bring them over a casserole if they're still recovering from all this police brutality. And while I'm there, maybe I'll ask what else I can do to be a part of the movement."

Jacques sighed and put down the newspaper. Slowly, he pulled the lever on the side of his lazy-boy to lower the footrest and began to sit up. He was having a vision of his own future. If Gracelle was involved in the protests, that meant he would be too. As always, Gracelle knew best. She had a stronger sense of justice than he did, and was always standing up for the right people, long before anyone else was.

Jacques caught up with her in the hallway. "Can I come along too?" he asked.

Gracelle smiled. "Of course, chéri. I'll make the phone call, and then let's go see what we can do to bring about this kinder world that Gerauld is speaking of."

[The North Polish Union]

Tabulation of the first round of presidential elections in the Lithuanian federal region has been completed, and in a huge upset outsider candidates Domantas Sabonis and Neringa Barauskaitė will advance to the runoff second round ahead of Social Democratic candidate and incumbent prime minister Simonas Šapoka

Domantas Sabonis (Ind.) 781,164 (23%)
Neringa Barauskaitė (GLS) 653,127 (19%)
Simonas Šapoka (SP) 652,105 (19%)
Svajūnas Žukauskas (ALS) 471,967 (14%)
Stasys Gylys (NLP) 299,321 (9%)
Gintaras Paulauskas (Ind.) 215,212 (6%)

In a shocking first-round result, both contenders in the upcoming second round of the Lithuanian presidential election outperformed initial polling expectations in a major blow to Lithuania’s political establishment. Belarusian-nationalist independent Domantas Sabonis will face right-libertarian candidate Neringa Barauskaitė in a second round where ethnic tensions and the role of government should be main topics of debate.

In many ways the election is already a historical one in the region, with the margin of just 1,017 votes between second- and third-place the closest in regional history. It is additionally the first presidential election in the post-insurgency era where the two major parties of SP and NLP have combined to earn less than 50% vote share and where the Social Democrat candidate has not advanced to the second round. Turnout was 53%, higher than the previous election, amidst a surge in voting among the underrepresented Belarusian population.

After failing to advance to the runoff, Simonas Šapoka announced his resignation as leader of the Social Democratic Party; however, he will remain Prime Minister until a party leadership contest can be held. Stasys Gylys also resigned as leader of the National Liberal Party after the party marked their worst ever result in a presidential race.

The results have drawn criticism and suspicion from across the regional and federal political spectrum. Both advancing candidates are from well outside the region’s political mainstream and are broadly viewed as too radical, although analysts believe the major Lithuanian parties will easily prefer Barauskaitė. Sabonis, whose support for an end to ethnic Lithuanian minority-rule is unheard of in regional politics, is already facing legal challenges related to his campaign, which focused almost exclusively on messaging via social media, and allegations that he received undisclosed funding and saw his campaign bankrolled by banned Belarusian separatist groups. Federal senator Svenja Lichtenfeld (Prussia) requested an investigation into Sabonis’ disclosure of zero campaign spending and claims that his campaign was entirely volunteer-run. Meanwhile, minor candidate Rapolas Babkauskas, who received only about 1% of votes cast, filed suit with the Constitutional Court of Lithuania claiming that votes for him had been surreptitiously transferred to Barauskaitė in some jurisdictions, with the Court granting his request for a recount. Sabonis has denied the allegations against him, while Barauskaitė has condemned the recount, accusing the Court of tampering with democracy.

In the second round, analysts believe that Sabonis will receive support from Žukauskas and some Paulauskas voters while Barauskaitė will draw from that of Šapoka and Gylys. Given both candidates' inflammatory ethnic rhetoric campaigning for the second round is expected to be heated.

[Pyazhnaya]

Match Report 1: Pyazhnaya 2–1 Aleirave
(Krasnograd National Stadium – Attendance: 31,800 – Weather: Cool with scattered clouds)

Pyazhnaya rediscovered their rhythm with a hard-fought 2–1 victory over the visiting Aleirave Seagulls, bringing much-needed relief to Agratova’s squad after a shaky start to the qualifiers.

The home crowd roared from the outset, with the regular starting eleven taking the field: Moroshkin between the posts, the dependable back four led by Ilyushin and Solodnikov, and the dynamic duo of Kartashov and Mukhametshin up front.

The first half saw Pyazhnaya press high, exploiting the Seagulls’ attempts to play out from the back. In the 18th minute, Danila Terentyev’s corner was met with a towering header from Vladislav Ilyushin, rattling the bar before rebounding to Maksimilian Kartashov. The young striker showed composure beyond his years, chesting the ball down and slotting it under Falena Rukipiato for the opener.

Aleirave responded, with their high-tempo midfield disrupting Pyazhnaya’s rhythm. Just before the break, Nakelia Lifevaneka’s threaded pass split the defense, allowing Neraveke Ho’uminalu to round Moroshkin and level the score.

But Pyazhnaya regrouped. In the 61st minute, a slick one-two between Aristarkhov and Novoseltseva unlocked the Seagulls’ backline, and Mukhametshin lashed home from close range to restore the lead. The final 20 minutes saw Aleirave push forward in search of an equalizer, but Pyazhnaya’s rearguard, marshaled by Vakhrushev and Bilyaletdinov, held firm. A crucial three points and renewed belief in their campaign.

---

Match Report 2: Visayas Islands 4–3 Pyazhnaya
(Iloilo National Stadium – Attendance: 40,200 – Weather: Hot and breezy)

What should have been a solid follow-up performance turned into a rollercoaster as Pyazhnaya fell 4–3 to Visayas Islands in a match brimming with goals, drama, and last-minute heartbreak.

Agratova, always one for tactical boldness, opted for a mixed lineup, giving starts to Zavrazina in goal, Khafizullin and Akhatova in central defense, and fielding Lyubov Reznikova and Alina Teplyashina on the flanks. Youngsters like Shafigullin and Mordvinova also featured, eager to make their mark.

The match began with Visayas controlling possession. In the 15th minute, Quique Villariño curled a sumptuous free-kick into the top corner, sending the home crowd into a frenzy. But Pyazhnaya, undeterred, responded with fire. Mukhametshin drew defenders wide before cutting back for Shafigullin, who buried his first senior goal in the 27th minute. Moments later, Mordvinova’s persistence down the right flank saw her cross bundled home by Rostislav Tsaritsyn. 1–2 Pyazhnaya.

After halftime, a quick counter saw Kartashov, subbed on for the second half, dance past defenders and chip José Luis Ortega with a stunning solo goal to make it 1–3. Pyazhnaya seemed set for a famous win.

But then the Visayans rallied. Alfredo Quintanar’s triple substitution proved inspired, with Descartin and Arnaiz injecting pace and drive. Obdulio Banaag’s powerful shot beat Zavrazina to spark belief. Viray’s clever run and finish leveled the game in the 79th minute, and in the dying minutes, captain Fidel Pascual’s towering header from a corner completed the Visayan comeback. The final whistle left Pyazhnaya stunned, reflecting on missed chances and lapses in concentration.

---

Off the Pitch: Pyazhnaya’s “Talent Show” Night

In an effort to lift spirits after the Visayas heartbreak, Agratova organized an impromptu “Pyazhnaya’s Got Talent”evening at the hotel’s conference room. Raisa Safiullina co-hosted with Danila Terentyev, donning sparkling jackets and plastic microphones borrowed from the kids’ club.

Kartashov, accompanied by Mukhametshin on guitar, serenaded the squad with a surprisingly soulful rendition of “Podmoskovnye Vechera”, earning a standing ovation (and a blush from Mordvinova, seated front row).

Zavrazina, ever the prankster, delivered a deadpan “comedy set,” recounting fictional stories of secret spy missions involving Agratova and Novoseltseva. The highlight was an improvised dance battle between Solodnikov and Khafizullin, with the entire team cheering and clapping in rhythm.

Even Agratova joined the fun, delivering a dramatic reading of a poem written by a fictional “Pyazhnayan bard,” which turned out to be penned by Novoseltseva herself.

Later that night, while the team shared pastries and tea, Kartashov and Mordvinova found a quiet corner, their laughter echoing softly above the hum of conversation. It was clear something special was blossoming between them.

---

Diary of Maksimilian Kartashov – Post-Visayas Islands
May 31st, 2025 – Iloilo Hotel

Today’s match was a whirlwind. One minute I was celebrating what I thought was the winner—my goal felt perfect, like a brushstroke on a canvas. The next, we were crushed by their comeback. It hurts, but that’s football. We’ll learn, we’ll grow.

Tonight, though, was something else. The talent show reminded me that we’re more than just a team. We’re family. Everyone laughing, dancing, just being themselves—it’s rare in this crazy world of tactics and pressure.

And Sonya… she was radiant. Her performance with Shafigullin (they did a silly skit about being "football robots") had everyone in stitches. Afterwards, we sat by the pool, just the two of us. She told me she used to be terrified of these trips, of being away from home, but now—she said—she feels like she belongs. Like we’re her family.

I told her I felt the same way. Then I said it—I told her I like her. She smiled, soft and warm, and said she liked me too. We didn’t need fancy words. Just that moment, just us.

Tomorrow we head back to Krasnograd. The road ahead’s still long, but I’m not walking it alone.

— Maksimilian

[Doubeia]

your eyes tell — bts
Ambrose didn’t want to believe this was the end of the road. He still held out a slither of hope. He still believed that at the end of this dark tunnel he had just entered would be light. This light was a new beginning, a new start with Skye.

Still, he felt foolish for believing there was still anything left of worth in their relationship.

Ambrose didn’t want to be a shell of who he was, but he found it hard to be the extroverted, energetic self. He wanted to smile, but his muscles didn’t want to work. He wanted to laugh, but his voice refused to come out. His mind was stuck thinking about how all of this was his fault. After all, he was the one who pushed Skye away because of his recalcitrance. He didn’t want to change himself, and when he finally decided to, it was too late. It was comical.

He remembered as he stood still during training, watching Skye’s face light up with a smile for the first time in forever. He had never seen her smile so brightly. All he remembered were her scowls, resentful gaze, and her increasingly tired attitude. She was beaming from ear to ear as she spoke with her friends. Perhaps a huge boulder was lifted off her shoulder after the break-up. A huge, Ambrose-sized boulder. Ambrose stood, and he felt conflicted. His heart wretched. He wished he was the one she was smiling at. He wished he hadn’t been so stubborn and, in return, eroded the happiness she shared with him.

However, Ambrose also felt jealous. Did Skye really deserve to feel happy when he was down on the ground? He couldn’t help but resent her friends. He should have been the one she was happy with. Only he deserved her smile. Only he deserved her happiness. Only he–

No, who was he kidding? He didn’t deserve anything.

Training became more of a drag as the matter weighed even heavier on Ambrose’s shoulders. He didn’t know how to resolve the nagging sensation in his heart. He wanted to get rid of it. He tried distracting his mind. He gymmed more than ever, went out with his friends, ate whatever he felt like. Over time, he felt like he was starting to forget Skye, as if she was fading from his mind. However, when the temporary happiness he had gotten depleted itself, as he laid on his bed at night, suddenly all his memories with her started to rush back in like a wave. It was akin to a riptide: they would suddenly come and pull him into the ocean. Sometimes, he would just lay in bed, reminiscing and reflecting on their bygone relationship. Then, he would start to cry. He would start to cry until his pillows dampened. His bed had held all of his tears, becoming an ocean of sadness for him.

Ambrose’s form had gone to shit recently. He barely scored in his past few games, and to add insult to injury he had amassed a red card. Suddenly Doubeia’s best goalscorer was faltering in form, and there seemed to be no explanation for it either. Only the Winterfalls players knew what had transpired between him and Skye, and it was for the best. He didn’t want everyone to know why he was so heartbroken, or that he was even dating a teammate in the first place.

Ambrose remembered standing on the pitch one game, crestfallen as another one of his shots flew way past the post and into the stand. It was the seventieth minute, and Winterfalls was down two goals. Ambrose had tried everything he could to recoup the deficit: he tried to play deep to be part of the build-up play, but he would lose the ball one way or the other. He tried some long shots, but they never seemed to hit the target. He attempted a few solo runs, but he wasn’t a good dribbler by any means. It was like everything was going wrong, and as the clock progressed towards full time, all eyes were on him to do something. He had to do something.

At one point, Winterfalls was on the offensive, and to his left he saw Skye setting up a run along the left flank of the pitch. He watched her dribble past the poor defender who fell over from having his ankles broken. He couldn’t help but smile just a little. She was truly a great winger and a reliable teammate. He felt a bit proud of her, but he didn’t know whether it was as a teammate or as a lover… well, an ex-lover.

Ambrose could tell Skye was going to cross the ball into the box and he made a run in preparation. Sure enough, she delivered the ball high, targeting Ambrose’s head. Ambrose prepared to head the ball into the goal. Skirmishing with a defender, he saw the ball come closer, closer, closer…

Thud. He headed the ball. He turned his head to see where the ball had gone. Then, he heard another thud. This time, it was the sound of the ball ricocheting off the post and back into play…

…how hadn’t he scored?

Ambrose couldn’t recover. He remained still in his position, head in his hands as he struggled to fathom how he didn’t convert the cross to a goal. How, how, how? The opportunity had come on a silver platter, and the goalkeeper probably wouldn’t have saved his header, so how? Ambrose turned his head to where the ball was. Along his line of sight, he saw Skye shaking her head in disappointment as she jogged back to defense. It was a double whammy for Ambrose: he missed a great chance to halve the deficit, and he also disappointed Skye in the process. She had done so well. She set up the attack, and her movement on the ball was excellent. She did all of that only for him to…

The final whistle couldn’t come soon enough. A loss was already tough to handle for Ambrose, but when he didn’t do well on the pitch either? He walked towards the dugout, and it was fate playing with him that he found himself walking alongside Skye. He noticed her, and she probably noticed him as well. They tried to avoid each other’s gaze and presence. Ambrose in particular tried to make himself as invisible as possible. However, his curiosity got the better of him, and he took a glance at Skye. At that moment, she also looked back at him. The momentary eye contact was cut short when Skye shook her head, let out a sigh and walked even faster.

Ambrose didn’t need Skye to twist the knife in his heart when she’d already stabbed it one too many times. He was sorry he didn’t convert the chance. He was sorry he didn’t do well enough to win the game. He was sorry he played like shit. He was sorry he acted like shit. To her.

The short interaction had left Ambrose in a worse state of mind. He didn’t want this. He didn’t need this. He couldn’t bear seeing Skye act so callously to him. Where was the Skye who was so loving towards him? Who would cuddle with him, comfort him when he had a poor game? Where was she? She was gone, nowhere to be seen ever again. All these days, Ambrose was holding out for the small chance that Skye might change her mind, but as time passed, it seemed less and less possible. He was tunnel-visioned. Maybe he was too zeroed in onto the prospect of getting back together that he forgot the reason why they split.

Ambrose was walking through a dark tunnel, and he wasn’t sure if there was an end to his solitude.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team took advantage of a pair of home fixtures to climb the Group 6 table ahead of an upcoming stretch where they will close out the first half of the schedule against 3 of 4 the lowest seeded nations.

BP raised their level of performance from the previous four matches of World Cup Qualifying with a 4-1 win over Natanians & Nosts at the CONAGCO Stadium in Shirley behind goals from Leanne Bryant (making her first appearance in this WCQ), James Hardison, Shonte Logan and Tommy Applegate off the bench in his first competitive NT match since ARC 4.

Manager Will Barnard chose to keep most of the starting XI together until late, Applegate being the exception as he replaced Hardison with 25 minutes remaining, but Stacey Jones, Shala Ibrahim and Zara Jonasson off the bench saw just 8 minutes at the conclusion.

In Belle Haven, the festivities for the FAC's 1,200th all time fixture were low key as it's expected that the matchday 16 meeting with Loyo at the BBP will be a more celebratory occasion for the 800th mixed gender era match to coincide with the 20th qualifying cycle commemoration. Saint Eleanor came in undefeated and the sides produced an opening 28 minutes of play that left little doubt that these were two of the very best soccer teams in the multiverse, separated by just nine places in the rankings.

The Anaians opened the scoring off a set piece straight from the training ground, but from that point until the halftime whistle it was the Gold & Black clad home side that methodically clawed an advantage in territory and possession during open play; although it was 0-1 heading into the final 45 minutes it felt as though the home side were in the ascendancy.

Park got level from their own party trick free kick in the 54th minute as Camille Prince dropped a perfect rainbow onto the foot of Claudia Grayson who volleyed the ball into the top far corner:

Announcer: "Prince has a decent angle here from 24 yards...
she'll hope to find a runner from out of the group jostling in the box .
That looks...
GRAYSON!
(crowd cheering)
One one!
That was sublime."
Commentator: "if there's a better looking goal scored in this campaign, it'll have to be something out of an Annabeth Westmoreland dream sequence."

Barnard was looking to ramp up the pressure with 20 minutes left as he prepared to bring on Terrell London and Andrea Kirby when David Coleman broke free from his marker to head home for the second Bees tally and those subs were called back in order to get Logan and Antoine Jones introduced for a shift to a defensive style.

BP's 650th all-time victory moved them into second place just 2 points behind Saint Eleanor as Loyo dropped from the joint lead into fourth behind HOT-DAMN after a pair of defeats and now will host Park on match day 7, followed by BP hosting Devonta at Rogers Stadium in Endborough.

Lineup vs Loyo MD 7

Cotterill; Andrews, Milhouse, Morris; Martini, Garfield (c), C Boyle, S Jones; A Dixon; Everhart, Kaeppler
subs: Fraley, Little, Franklin, Taylor, Romero, Kirby, Domicelli, Ludwig, Howard, Azikiwe, Delacroix, Shock

Lineup vs Devonta MD 8

Longstreet; Newbury, Little, Taylor; Domicelli, Chamberlain, Romero, Kirby (c); Azikiwe; Delacroix, London
subs: Duffy, Milhouse, Jonasson, Womack, C Boyle, A Dixon, Martini, Bryant, Ludwig, Shock, Everhart, Hardison

[Captina Island]

First loss can't knock Captina from top spot
The Captina Company Press Association

Despite dropping from the ranks of the unbeaten The Captina Company National Team remains atop the Group 2 table as they prepare for a trip to Middle Alba before returning home to face second seeded Kamijiro during the fourth international break

The defeat to ninth ranked Farfadillis on matchday 6 was only unexpected in that it was an uncharacteristically poor outing for the Rosso e Oro, one that followed their highest offensive output of the current qualifying tournament, a 5-2 away win against Hispinas.

Both Middle Alba and Kamijiro have struggled to produce goal scoring through the first six matches of WCQ 99, having tallied just 4 and 6 times respectively. The former side are survivors of the latest Baptism of Fire while the latter nation are 28 places ahead of Captina in the KPB+, and had a three match winning streak snapped with a draw against Sangti & the Filindo Isles in their most recent fixture.

Following this pair of matches, three of the next four contests will be on the road as the second half of the schedule gets underway after the trip to unranked Warkus.

[Eshialand]

No Turn Unstoned
Kwrpania 2-0 Eshialand
Eshialand 4-1 Tevuekk

...is there anything left to try?

As the minutes wound down in the Owls' match in Reńban, every substitution Kenny Morgan made was done out of an increasing sense of desperation. Plarei out for Forsen, Lavin out for Hopal. Clearly it was a mistake including either of these two in a match such as this one, they couldn't replicate their success against the Busoga Islanders. The substitutions weren't enough. He had to make more. Young and Meilling out for Grant and Olyred, let's fix the midfield momentum problem. No, no, no, enough is never enough. You can't stop the bleed. There is no respite from the torture that is this World Cup 99 campaign.

"MARGARET DAMN IT I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!" Morgan yelled out after the whistle, as he took all of his frustrations out on a tree outside the stadium. This was the greatest team Eshialand had ever assembled, fresh off the greatest achievement in the nation's history, and they were here in eternal midtable hell, unable to beat teams that wouldn't have been contests in either of the last two cycles. Where was the consistency?

Kenny refused to speak to any reporters following the match, his head held low in shame at his team's performance. He was always known for keeping a calm head about things and supporting this team no matter what with unfettered optimism, but this campaign was well and truly breaking him. This was not a team that was performing like the champions of Esportiva, and he knew it.

Thankfully, Tevuekk at home was a much more normal performance for the Owls, with two goals from Sandrie backed up by one apiece from Forsen and Cromlin showing that this team, at the end of the day, was still Eshialand, and still had that bite in them... but with the critical away match in Valentine Z coming up next, along with the one in Juvencus looming ominously over the horizon, there were serious questions about what this team could do, if anything, to prepare for this toughest part of the schedule. If they couldn't get anything to happen against mid-seeded teams, what did that have to say about these actual World Cup participants?

Valentine Z in particular was a match with many feelings attached to it, with the Owls' 0-1 loss to the Kittens in Qanz being seen as one of the team's greatest disasters in recent memory. This one was about a lot more than just getting out of the mid-table torture chamber -- there was revenge on the line.

For a match as important as this one, you would expect Kenny and Mel to have a clear, concrete plan for what was to come next, or at the very least some vague notion of some way to break past their opponents... but given recent results, everything that had ever been thought of or even dreamt up in the mind of a 9-year-old playing her first IFCF Manager save was clouded with this air of doubt, this thought that no matter how good the plan was, and no matter how good the players could be, that they were destined to choke everything away... it was definitely not the best time to be an Owls supporter.

"You know, I have had a lot of time to talk to this team since the loss in Kwrpania, and I'm just gonna say... shit's kinda bad right now." Kenny said in his pre-match presser before he left for Naypyithaw. "There's been a lot of talk about how... uncharacteristic my vocal outburst in Reńban was... and yeah, you're right. You're all right. I'm not just disappointed in the team's recent performance, I'm angry about it. I've talked to the team a lot and they agree with me, this is absolutely not acceptable. We took our anger out on the Tevuekk match, and sure, that did go well... but nobody was expecting anything else. A home win against an unranked team isn't exactly enough to magically cure our anger 'oh look yay we won a game everything is better now'... no. There's a lot of work left to do here, and we're hoping to get that done in Valentine Z... and if it doesn't? Well, that might just be curtains for our qualifying hopes, won't it."

[Auprussia]

PREPARATIONS

Eleo Vicard had been put in charge of organizing the defense following the disastrous 4-1 loss to Abahnfleft and while he was okay with the results against Britonisea he wanted to make everyone was prepared even if their opponents were weaker.

"Hey Pardau! when we do not have possession you have to drop lower, I know it is tiring but you are key here!"

Vicard kept directing the starters over and over with increasing intensity until Pierre called for a break. Pierre approached Vicard calmly. "Hey good work out here, I need you to keep drilling them on the defensive side. We can't lose our nerve here". Vicard nodded but also responded in a joking matter "You sure you haven't already?" "Yeah yeah, just keep it up ok". Pierre smiled and walked away.

While Vicard kept drilling the starters Pierre went to Rien and asked: "You got the team sheets for our next opponents here?". Rien nodded and passed over the sheets further explaining "Vixette is not a very deep team. Especially that midfield despite their affinity for defensive play we should have the advantage in possession." "You think any particular players could give us trouble?" "Alvin Forget seems like a very good passer even on a lower-end team like this, I also think Jean-André Louis could pose an issue if we cannot contain him correctly". Rien then looks at the sheet for Paradystopia and says "Now this team is interesting" Pierre looked curious "What is so interesting? they seemingly play super defensive" "It's not just that. their midfield is incredibly weak if we look at their shape. They have a DM who willingly roams without much structure" Pierre's face lights up "So that means we can hit them quickly and directly when this miscommunication happens" "Exactly, they are not a great team on the outset but it seems they are not very disciplined either. Our midfield is the key for both of these matches I feel"

Pierre took the team sheets and headed outside. Vicard's drill was done and the starters were dispersed. Vicard noticed the team sheets in Pierre's hand and said "Yeah I already reviewed them! They look like fun teams to play!" "Yeah real fun" Pierre responded. Vicard grabbed a water bottle and said "Looks like we're going to have possession a ton huh" Pierre nodded and said "Honestly I am hoping we get out of this with all 6 points. We have the better squad but we need to be on the ball here, this qualifying has been a mess for everyone".

Vicard chuckled and said "Well who better to clean up the mess then?" Pierre rolled his eyes "I'd rather not be a janitor".

After training Pierre went back home and observed the lake. Was he actually tired of the managing the national team? Despite his wife's advice it never really felt like a chore to manage before. Maybe he was just putting too much on himself. One thing he did know though, if he was going to leave he had someone in mind.

[Aleirave]

Out of the Fire, into the ?????????
Pyazhnaya 2-1 Aleirave
Aleirave 3-2 Safiloa

It couldn't be overstated just how bad this Qualifying campaign was going for the Seagulls at this point. Their first home win against Safiloa was a little bit of an improvement over their prior suffering, but the loss in Pyazhnaya definitely did not help stop their bleed, and oh boy was this team bleeding now. 2-1-3 as a 3rd seed that still hadn't played either of the top 2 seeds... that was a result that was hard to justify, and with the home match against Baggieland coming up, unjustifiably bad performances definitely wouldn't be cutting it. This team was going to have to go all in to win, but this didn't seem like a year of going all in.

Something was just off about the team's gameplay. The energy was there at the end of the match against Pyazhnaya, but that energy just wasn't translating into anything. Energy is never enough to win a match; there's a certain magical factor that needs to be there, and that something was just completely missing.

Perhaps this was a question of the team getting complacent and underestimating any opponent ranked even slightly below them. Perhaps that meant this whole problem would go away when the team faced the definitively better side from Baggieland. No matter what, Haulafo wasn't exactly going to risk falling into the same traps as this team had done in the previous six matches, but what can you even do? Giving it the usual 100% clearly wasn't working, but if you don't give it 100% and you lose, it ends up being your fault for "throwing away a winnable match". It's a sort of Catch-22 of getting out of ruts like these which is very hard to break out of.

There was one bright spark in the dark, however: Tatyana Yusenika settled in well to her first start against Safiloa. She had been penciled in to start in Pyazhnaya, however some last minute stomach issues led to her being scratched in favor of the veteran, whose performance once again didn't cut it. This led to Yusenika being told to not eat anything not approved by Haulafo because "her stomach is more valuable than Neraveke's foot"; this bizarre demand worked out in the Seagulls' favor, as a rough beginning ended up transitioning into a very good final 60 minutes against Safiloa, as the team recovered an 0-2 deficit into a 3-2 win. The hope?

"Tatyana is young and shows a lot of promise, and I think she proved to us in that last match that she does have a very bright future on the team... as long as she doesn't eat anything suspicious again..." Haulafo paused for a second as his comment drew a chuckle from the crowd. "She might just be the answer to our defensive woes. The offensive end may need a little extra work as well, but we need to work on one problem at a time. After all, if you try to fix two problems at once and things go horribly wrong, you don't know which 'fix' caused your new problems and which one was actually good."

[Crpostran]

[Tikariot]

Chapter 1: Welcome to Sugar Creek
Chapter 2: Cupcake Awakening
Chapter 3: Death by Dessert

Chapter 4: Sugar-Crazed Carnage
Doug and Lucy stood frozen outside the crumbling storefront of the bakery, watching in disbelief as a never-ending stream of cupcakes poured out into the thick fog, leaving behind a grotesque trail of frosting, crushed sprinkles, and molten caramel.

The broken window where the cupcakes had first emerged hissed with steam and sugary fumes. Lucy clutched Doug’s arm, eyes wide.
“What do we do now? They’re loose! You saw what they did to the health inspector!”

Doug didn’t answer. He could only stare as the pastel-colored pastries continued to spill into the street, some growing in size with every hop, their icing pulsing like veins. The fog began to thin as dawn clawed its way into the sky, but the rising sun only revealed the full horror of what Sugar Creek had become: a diabetic’s worst nightmare.

From alleyways and chimneys, air vents and sewer grates, cupcakes surged outward like sticky, unstoppable vermin. Some rolled. Some hopped. Some waddled with sprinkles flinging off their sides like shrapnel. Doors left ajar were invaded. Windows were breached with frosting-coated impact.

A family sitting down to breakfast was ambushed mid-bite. Cupcakes burst through the windows, diving into cereal bowls and pelting family members with fruit flung by caramel tentacles. Their screams mixed with the squelch of icing hitting wallpaper.

Throughout town, pets made a valiant stand. Cats swatted. Dogs lunged. A golden retriever tried to eat one, only to get high on powdered sugar and collapse into a twitching, frosted heap. The cupcakes chased them relentlessly—sticky paws versus sticky claws. One unlucky parakeet was last seen airborne, dangling from a licorice noose.

In the church basement, a Diabetics Anonymous meeting erupted into panic as cupcakes smashed through the stained-glass windows like pastry missiles. Within minutes, the town’s insulin stockpile had been depleted to a single syringe.

At the Sugar Creek Market, chaos reigned. Shoppers screamed as waves of cupcakes—some small, others grotesquely large—barreled down the aisles. A twelve-pack of lemon-glazed brutes rode a shopping cart like a war chariot, slamming into shelves and scattering jars. The frozen foods section erupted as dormant cupcakes exploded from the freezers, frost-coated and furious. The baking aisle became a warzone, powdered sugar thick in the air like smoke on a battlefield.

A delivery man hit a frosting slick and went airborne. Boxes flew. He hit the tiles with a grunt—then the cupcakes swarmed, burying him in a ravenous heap of buttercream and rainbow dust.

Nearby, a man attempted to suck up the menace with a vacuum cleaner. The moment it inhaled its first cupcake, it exploded—frosting, powdered sugar, sugar shrapnel, and molten caramel blasting across the produce section like a dessert grenade.

As the town descended into pandemonium, desperate residents fled to churches, schools, laundromats—anywhere with four walls and a locking door. Inside, they piled up chairs, desks, ironing boards—anything to barricade themselves against the battering thumps at the doors. But it was no use. Frosting oozed under thresholds. People screamed as caramel pooled beneath their feet.

---

Sheriff Bob McGravy sat in his patrol car parked at the edge of town, casually sipping from a thermos. The radio hissed and popped with increasingly panicked chatter.

“Sheriff! They’re in my kitchen!”
“They ate my couch!”
“They took my dog! Fluffy is gone!”

Bob rolled his eyes. “You folks need to cut back on the sugar,” he muttered, shaking his head.

Then something moved on the hood. He glanced up—and froze.
A cupcake was gnawing on his antenna like a breadstick.

“What the hell…” he whispered.

The radio squawked again. Another scream. Then silence.
Bob slowly reached for the siren switch, flipped it on, and peeled out toward the town square. But as he drove, he realized the streets weren’t roads anymore—they were rivers of frosting. His tires slipped on caramel slicks, fishtailing as he tried to maintain control.

He turned onto Main Street—and gasped.

Sugar Creek’s market square was unrecognizable in the pale rays of sunrise. Cupcakes hurled themselves at mailboxes, gumming them shut with icing. A gazebo collapsed in on itself under the weight of a giant cupcake that burst through the roof with a muffled splat, leaving behind only a pink frosting crater. Packs of mini cupcakes chased terrified civilians across the square, firing molten caramel at their heels. Two éclairs, nearly the size of battering rams, were being used by larger cupcakes to smash through boarded doors.

Bob slammed on the brakes and climbed out, drawing his revolver.
“Alright, that’s enough!” he shouted. “Back off, you little freaks!”

The cupcakes paused. All at once. Like they were listening.

Then they surged toward him.

He fired once. Twice. Bullets passed through the sugary masses with a wet splat, lodging harmlessly into brick walls and newspaper stands. They didn’t stop. They didn’t even flinch.

Then a cupcake the size of a beach ball latched onto the front of his patrol car—and bit the bumper clean off.

“Hey!” Bob cried.

Another cupcake joined in. Then another. With alarming efficiency, they began ripping the patrol car in half like paper. The frame groaned. The windshield cracked. A geyser of caramel sprayed the pavement as if the car itself were bleeding syrup.

Bob’s jaw dropped. Frosting splattered his boots.
He took a step back. Then another. His hands raised instinctively.

“This is way—way—above my pay grade…” he muttered.

Behind him, a mass of cupcakes began to pile up, forming a sugary wall of rising dread. One of them, twice the size of the others, blinked its jelly-filled eyes.

Bob turned slowly, just as a tendril of red velvet icing slithered across the pavement toward his ankle.

---

[To Be Continued…]

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL MAGAZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
BUS PARADES SINCE 163 FE

Pépin’s back and keeper calamities: Kelssek stays unbeaten in World Cup qualifying

Goalkeeper Megan Woodwell’s “ludicrous” red card played a major role in Kelssek giving up a 3-2 lead to draw against New Fernia, in the first points they’ve dropped in World Cup 99 qualifying. Woodwell complained long and bitterly about the decision, which was even more bizarre than her opting to deal with a one-on-one situation by sprinting out of her box to horse-collar the opposing player.

KBC Sport analyst and former international Nacuemiró Buené was caught chuckling incredulously at the protests of his former Burnaby and Kelssek teammate. Called off the bench abruptly, Maxime Carrieri was sent cold into the match and conceded the equalizer 11 minutes later when a routine save was pushed into the path of an opposing striker.

Carrieri, used to being the number one for CF Outineau, insisted somewhat unconvincingly it didn’t play any role in his performance and bit back at a reporter who implied that it did. “I’m always ready because you always know that it could happen. Of course it was a mistake I never usually make, I have to take responsibility for mistakes, but I won’t allow you to insult me like that”.

It was a better showing as Kelssek followed up with a return to winning ways in Burikinia, with a comfortable win to stay unbeaten and top of the qualifying group. Kaiden Pépin started his first competitive match in three months following a leg injury and the Kelssek captain looked like he hadn’t missed a day, in something that will also come a boost to Kirkenes FC fans.

KELSSEK 3 – Moore (14’, 47’), an Deòir (53’)
Woodwell, Jouppi, Vergland, Lalande, Sauvé, Pogbacar (Pépin 70’), de Landa (Obident 70’), Joseph (Carrieri 59’), Moore (Heer 83’), an Deòir (Cutter 70’)
NEW FERNIA 3
Bowreach, Vickery (attendance 30,194)

BURIKINA 0
KELSSEK 3 – Joseph (5’), Cutter (32’), Mao (90+2’)
Carrieri, Bastien, Vergland, Lalande, Nyhof (Cleeves 82’), Pépin (Pogbacar 74’), Rendon, Obident (Massinen 59’), Lìos, Moore (Mao 74’), Cutter (Coulter 86’)

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Four goals. Four goals against unranked Melbergia. Made worthless.

It's a training day. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing through the trees around the pitch. Tourbillon Forest is a comfortable home for Oberour football. It's more than these boys deserve.

"Four goals for Melbergia. Another win gone."

The full pool of players is here. They're gathered around me. A crescent moon in orbit.

Are they happy? I'm not happy. I stare them down.

"I don't know any Melbergian players. Do you know any of their players? And they scored four."

They're silent. They're listening. Listening to me. Good. They always should have. They wouldn't be suffering this if they did.

I wouldn't be suffering this.

"We're third place in our group. Good. You're one bad matchday away from being eighth."

Look directly in their eyes. Glare straight as an arrow. They should feel this.

"And if we don't fix this you're almost certainly going to be."

Fix this.

"la Renarde!"

I can see Samuel la Renarde stiffen. He was hiding two rows back. But I saw him. He thought he could get away with this.

"You're off the roster for The Holy Empire. de Paillard will be starting."

Claude-Antoine de Paillard. A Becherel senior. He's front and center. He's listening. He's always listened. He's always done what he was told.

There is Oberour muttering in the wind. Cowardice. Discontent. Mutiny. They should speak up. Make themselves known.

"We need seven more wins over the next twelve matchdays to guarantee we're going to the World Cup. You will get them, if you do what needs to be done. Now get to work."

The players split up into position groups, working with their coaches. la Renarde excuses himself, which is fine by me. I see Laurens chase him down, put his hand on his shoulder. They lean in, they talk. They look back at me.

After training Blaise Leboeuf came up to me. Team Captain. Elerian Bonshom's captain. I know the boys like him. He has some good play left in him. If only he could fall in line.

"That was pretty callous," Lebeouf starts.

Callous? Leboeuf has pulled out his thesaurus. Or didn't want to curse at me.

If Blaise Lebeouf is going to be my captain he needs to understand. "There is no reason to keep the team in suspense," I explain. "This is about results. Compliance. Accountability."

"Samuel has been our primary starter at left back for the last two qualifications," Leboeuf offers. So la Renard is a tradition! He's an antique on the mantelpiece, we can't change that obviously.

"His form has declined." I can show you the numbers Blaise, which you don't want.

Lunen Margas had been walking with me. Now he's lagging behind. Uncomfortable with your own numbers, Lunen? Aren't you happy that I'm using your data?
I can expect that sort of bleeding heart behavior from Laurens. But I thought the committee man would have a sharper edge than that.

Lebeouf is floundering. He's floundering because he can't give me the real reason. "Claude-Antoine has looked good in practice, but giving him his first cap over Anatole-Georges? Over Avel?"

"Over a 27-year old and a 28-year old? Yes. We need some youth."

We need players that will do what I say.

Leboeuf looks uncomfortable. Good. Leboeuf is 32. He needs to understand that past wilted laurels mean nothing. What good is all this experience in losing?

Lebeouf then says: "It's ridiculous to call out a player like that. Elerian never would have-"

Stop.

"Elerian didn't win football matches." Cut him off. Rip this out at the roots. This is what had Leboeuf so bothered. So concerned. That I'm not nice enough. That I'm not Elerian Bonshoms.

"You know what Elerian Bonshoms will be remembered for? What Elerian Bonshom's Oberour Ar Moro team will be known for? Losing. Failure. He was content with failure."

I have my fist raised, like I want to be pointing in his face, but my pointer finger is closed under my thumb.

"Bonshoms didn't win. I don't know why you'd want that, and if that's what you want I can find players that do want to win-"

I bump Lebeouf on the shoulder with my closed fist.

"-without you."

Brevaler Trufe leaned back in his chair, sighed, and rubbed his eyes from under his glasses.

"I don't know what to do with Jerian, Noël."

Jerian Hurtis. A sophomore at Martyrdom College. A midfielder on the club football team. All there are is club football teams. Brevaler is the head coach, when he's not a professor of literature. I'm the assistant coach, when I'm not a 33-year-old warehouse picker. Or a husband to an endlessly patient wife. Or a father who doesn't see his kids enough.

But this is what I want to do. More than anything in the world.

Brevaler continues, almost apologetically. He knows what this means to me. "He's a good kid, but this isn't high school anymore."

I nod, setting down my notebook and pencil. "Jerian has been struggling." No use denying reality.

But I remember sitting in Jerian's house. Sitting with him and his mother. Jacket on my lap. Glass of water in my hand. Promising her it would be worth it for Jerian to go to school hours away and take almost all his attention and apply it to a sport he'll never play again once he graduates.

Selling a dream, watching her hold it like a pressed flower that could crumble any moment..

I promised.

Brevaler looks over his desk, piled with books. Furrows his brow. Frowns. "He's been damn near a liability. I'm going to have to bench him. And he may not even be good enough to be on the team at all."

I remember watching Jerian play in high school. How much fun he had. How light the ball seemed at his feet, how he could place it at his forward's toes on a whim.

That's disappeared. But it hasn't vanished completely.

"Just let me work with him. If we bench him it'll shatter his confidence, and he'll be no good for anyone."

Brevaler slowly breathes out through his nose as he leans forward. His chair creaks beneath him. “You see something I don’t, Noël?”

It’s not a challenge or an ultimatum. Brevaler wants to count on me. He wants me to be right, for our school, for our team, for our boys.

Let me work with Jerian for more hours, coach. For more missed dinners. For more missed bedtime stories.

My son Mathieu was putting his drawings on the fridge. Stick figures of us kicking a football, him scoring a goal against me. He wanted me to take him to the park on Saturday. He wanted to show me his "awesome new football trick."

I looked Brevaler in the eye. "Trust me." Coach Trufe did.

Jerian got an assist three games later. Scored the game-winner the game after that. He found me and grabbed me and hugged me before any of his teammates.

I used to think that was enough.

At the last practice before the match against The Holy Empire Leboeuf turned in his captain's armband. I'm glad he understands.

[Valanora]

Dragon's Rest Pub, Raynor City

The Dragon's Rest was like many dozens of other sports pubs in the Vanorian capital, though what made this one special was that it was located near Raynor University and would often show some of the more niche sports on a handful of their screens from time to time, like games involving Vanorian universities in the NSCF or NSCAA competitions. Though those events would draw in good crowds, thanks in large part to its strategic location near the universities dorms, it was not quite the same as whenever there was a massive game in the Premiership going on or better yet when the national football team was on television. The matches of the Marauders would reduce the capacity to standing room only and the owner of the pub would often have to give a hand to the staff in either taking orders or helping prepare them to ensure that everything was still done in a timely manner. Thankfully most of the time the patrons were too engrossed in their matches to notice on the rare occasions where they were not getting their order in a reasonable time frame, for that the pub owner was quite thankful. While not the most prestigious of pubs in the capital, they still had a good reputation that he wanted to uphold.

Today the crowd was mostly in a jovial mood, the Marauders had just played the second game of their most recent international window and had smashed their hosts Brusseldorf, making it six points from six for the first time in the qualification campaign. There was plenty of laughing and cheering and quite a bit of singing as well as those who stayed after the game were talking amongst themselves, celebrating, and soaking it all in. One of the hostess was taking a fresh bottle of wine to where a trio of gentlemen were sitting, seemingly pleased with themselves and in a good mood, still half picking at the remains of their chips and fresh salsa. The snack was among many different imports that the Empire had taken from various human nations when it came to sporting event food, others included sauced chicken wings, and the flat bread known as pizza in most of the human world. Before those imports, most of the crowd would have been sipping on wine or ale and eating some finger sandwiches or munching on some various nuts and fruits whenever a game was on. However the human imports really took off in the pub scene and so the pub owner made sure to keep his stores well stocked with them, even if the elf didn't quite understand the fuss.

"Listen, I know everything has not been all sunshine and rainbows under Ellzidan since she took over from Millet, but that sort of result and the bounce back the team had after their loss in HUElavia is a huge statement. The team is able to punch right back up to where you expect them to be, it shows a coach who knows how to rally her troops and get them right after things are not working, though have to credit the players for being able to take that coaching and actually run with it. Hear a lot of stories these days about athletes who simply have whatever their coach tells them go in one ear and out the other, though it at least seems like the players she has player for her listen to what the Drawkian has to say." This man was a bit older the hostess thought as she offered a refill of his beverage of choice, while the two he was sitting with appeared to be five or so years his junior.

"Should she not have had the team in that place to begin with though, the team was not the sharpest out of the gate and as a result the team is in a bit of a struggle as it stands with qualification. I will give credit where credit is due and she has got the team playing some much better defense than what we are accustomed to seeing from the national team but the offense has been in a bit of a yo-yo state this campaign. That is a bit concerning considering the wealth of attacking talent that the national team has at its disposal, which is far great than most. If she really wants to have the full backing of the fans, she has to figure that out and get the team clicking at around their normal pace, not just to secure qualification but if she really wants to get the full backing of the fans. It was the lack of fan support that really undid Millet more than anything and I would hate to see someone as celebrated as Ellzidan is to fall into those same sort of trappings when it appears quite easy for her to simply make a few adjustments to get the team acting like one of the best teams in the game."

The third man was leaning back in his seat, not sipping on his drink nor lazily grazing on their remaining bit of food, but rather seemed to be taking in all what his comrades seemed to be saying before speaking up himself. "I think there is room enough for the truth of both, she appears to be a great coach when it comes to making adjustments to what is not working but she perhaps is not the best at getting the team prepared for the start of tournaments, as we saw a bit of a stumble with the most recent regional championship. Credit where credit goes though, the level of the competition is perhaps at its highest point in history, the last decade or so has seen an age of parity in the world of football, both at the club as well as the international level. That the Marauders have been able to maintain a relatively high standing and a near on decade long championship window is impressive but qualification and success is not a given, which I do think we as fans sometimes lack perspective on, especially here in the Empire. A good example is the team's next opponents, Archalit, who are sub 150 in the rankings and yet within two points of the top of the group. The margins are thinner now than ever and we simply have to accept that the team is good, perhaps great, but there is room for improvement both as a collective and at an individual level, the staff included. A win there as well as following up with a win away to Oscioru will be four wins on the bounce and have the team exactly where we expect as we approach the halfway point. There might be a few bumps along the way but being at the top at the finish line is the most important thing, wouldn't you both agree?"

[Chromatika]

World Cup 99 Qualifiers Matchday 5: Chromatika 1-0 (UR) Paradystopia @ Z'ai'ai Field, Z'ai'ai, Mountain District (Cap. 113,000; 40,000 Seats)
Goals: Fillar, E. 18'
Starting XI: (3-4-1-2) - Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Jean-Baptiste -> Xuen-Zhukov (58'), Lehmann -> Coulibaly (58'), Gundsdorf -> Mesic-Mizayaki (67'), Baïe-Verte -> Howard-Dawes (67'), Saburo -> Nodis (82')
Summary: Though they controlled the match, it was surprising that the Anomalies only scored a goal - but what a goal it was as Edith ran through three defenders and snuck the ball in. The home fans were almost relieved rather than ecstatic from this result, but the three points are three points regardless as the team continues to spend more time together.

World Cup 99 Qualifiers Matchday 6: Chromatika 5–1 (269) Moladea @ Frozen Stadium, Felswyr, Mountain District (Cap. 32,000)
Goals: Fillar, B. 20', Xuen-Zhukov 31', 58', Þyrill 68', Howard-Dawes 80'
Starting XI: (3-4-1-2) - Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Þyrill -> Fillar, B. (64'), Mátyás -> Fillar, E. (64'), Lethbridge-Antonio, J. -> Mesic-Mizayaki (74'), Lethbridge-Antonio, C. -> Jackon-Jones (74'), Hauptmeijer -> Fillar, G. (81')
Summary: Scoring three times before halftime, Chromatika made short work of Moladea in a sold-out Frozen Stadium as the team put together their best ninety minutes of this Qualifying Campaign. Baillaire Fillar cemented Player of the Match honors with a goal and two assists, Elaine Howard-Dawes scored a screamer, and Chromatika finally turned in a game worth of their billing.

---

Projected Lineups for World Cup 99 Qualifying Matchdays 7 and 8
@ (150) Girintha Empire, vs. (40) Abanhfleft @ Island Dome, Myana, Myana Island (Cap. 133,000; 32,000 Seats)
Starting XI: Swanson (C); Paterson - Lethbridge-Antonio, C. - Saburo; Hauptmeijer - Lethbridge-Antonio, J. - Prenn - Mátyás; Þyrill; Jean-Baptiste - Baïe-Verte.
Substitutes: GK Hailee Sourtois, GK Jessika Aniston, DCR Ami Coulibaly, DC Eileen Jackson-Jones, DCL Cylie Nodis, DC Samantha Han Cunningham, WBR Grayson Fillar, WBL Edith Fillar, WBL Willemieke JAnissen op Colmans, DLP Alija Mesic-Mizayaki, BWM Erica Hogersson, AP Baillaire Fillar, AP Evin Françine-Miklavivec, AF Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov, AF Elaine Howard-Dawes, CF Jack Heimdell.
Preview: Perhaps it's a bit of a risk to turn to the second string now, but the Starting XI deserves a break after playing six games in a row. This is the best chance that Jill Swanson will get to separate herself from Jessika Aniston, while the usual starters will be on the bench in case they are needed. The home matchup against Abanhfleft looms large because they are ahead of the Anomalies on the table and because there is no chance of placing in the top of the group if they cannot take care of worthy opposition at home. The Islander Dome will be at peak capacity to cheer on the home team.

---

1. The Find
2. The Lawyer
3. The Debt

VOICES FROM THE CROWD
Op 1. The Evil You Know

There are those of us who think that the Chromatik government is cursed. No, not this current iteration of the government - but the concept of Chromatika having a functioning government, period. Our earliest records of history don't exist because of the Chromatik Party purging everything. We thought for over a hundred years that the Party was everything that ever mattered, all because they were the ones in charge dictating our very lives.

Then, we had our very first election, only to be influenced by the extraplanar angels from The Plane of Possibility. With Banijan and Quebecois help, we overcame. Just when it looked like the Rainbow Party was starting to make headway in establishing a solid government, the split happened creating the New Light Party. That New Light Party won the closest election in Chromatik history by a very slim margin.

For a while, it looked like the worst of it had passed. Then, it came to light that The Shadow Hand had been the one in charge of it all - and that the New Light Party was a mouthpiece of an extremist group that still wanted further reparations for what the Chromatik Party did in the past. With the Shadow Hand dealt with and those politicians involved removed from power, the Chromatik Government fell into the hands of the Chromatik Security Council - a group of eight people now tasked with three things: the rebuilding of the eastern half of Myana Island from the Abyssal Incursion, the complete removal of The Shadow Hand and other such extremist elements on either side, and the creation of a system that will actually be able to continue on into the future while keeping legitimacy.

On are the following:

*Jordan Meerkaf, the Chromatik Chief of Staff that works with the five branches of the Chromatik Mlitary
*Alina Krasnikova, former Premier and the head of the Chromatik Secret Service
*Judge Meria W. Ansteff, the head of the Chromatik Supreme Court (who advises but doesn't have voting power)
*Keri Wyse Aart, former Premier and advocate for the Chromatik People
*Mariola Lemańska, Head of the Spade Party
*Keira Andisori, Representative of the Rainbow Party
*Enigma Armageddon, Representative of the Red Party
*Nick Venestroff

It remains to be seen if they are going to actually abdicate their position once everything calms down. That is always the question, isn't it? What do you do when you have had power and now have the chance to release it? Do you do what's best for the country and step aside, knowing that you've done your job? Or, as things happen and time goes on, do you get power hungry and try to hold on for as long as possible?

For Keira Andisori and Enigma Armageddon, this is a good portent to the fact that they will likely face each other in an election in the near future; Aart and Krasnikova are trying to make a better future for the Chromatik public, while Ansteff and Meerkaf are here to give the support of the military and the supreme court. As for Nick Venestroff, he was handpicked by the others to be the voice of the Chromatik public - for better or for worse.

What will happen in the future once the rebuilding ends? Will Chromatika ever get to a point where they can have a normal government?

Or, perhaps, they are cursed.

[Dhemixia]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Winning games is for losers

____███ - - - - - - ███

___The Holy Empire__2 - 2_'_Dhemixia

_______'_'_"Santa 32', 71'| Hawkins 45+1'
__________________''__'''| Bolton 83'


MotM: THE CM Swole Santa

____███ - - - - - - ███

________Sajnur__1 - 1_'_Dhemixia

_''''_"Wilson 43' (OG)| Baker 60'
___'_____________''|


MotM: DHE CM Gregory Baker

Schedule

MD1: vs. Ko-oren L 1-3 (T-9)
MD2: @ Oberour Ar Moro L 2-4 (T-7)
MD3: vs. Thaeloria W 3-1 (7th)
MD4: @ Melbergia W 6-3 (6th)
MD5: vs. The Holy Empire D 2-2 (7th)
MD6: @ Sajnur D 1-1 (8th)
MD7: vs. Al-Tamazgha
MD8: @ Doubeia
MD9: vs. Gyaromia
MD10: @ Ko-oren
MD11: vs. Oberour Ar Moro
MD12: @ Thaeloria
MD13: vs. Melbergia
MD14: @ The Holy Empire
MD15: vs. Sajnur
MD16: @ Al-Tamazgha
MD17: vs. Doubeia
MD18: @ Gyaromia

Who needs to split MDs when you could just be 8th in the group? Boy, do I sure love Dhemixian sootbaccer for this exact reason. The thing that really makes the fact of this stand out is the fact that, because of the two draws on MDs 5 and 6, the Serpents are now closer in points to first place, Ko-oren (13), than one spot lower in ninth place, Melbergia (1). This is the epitome of what Doug McMahon with this team does every competition: just kinda die and run out of gas right near the end, especially when the table is at its most vulnerable like how it is now. To be brutally honest, neither of those games should've been draws, and the Dhemixians should've walked away with three points instead of two, but here we are, refusing to have a different outcome in consecutive matches. We'll touch on that point later, but really, 8 points is not all that bad for what is considered the hardest leg of the schedule.

On paper coming into this match, the Dhemixians had NO CHANCE against The Holy Empire. Swole Santa and his gang of elves are collectively the quintessential definition of "Himothy". To describe playing against the most alpha center mid of all time, say you have the ball anywhere near midfield, and you blink. By that point, it's over. You no longer have the ball. As a team hard carry, Swole Santa was playing that role to perfection in this game. He slotted a pair of goals in each of the top corners, as all alphas will to assert their dominance, and practically owned Wesley Williamson. Unfortunately for him, Timothy Hawkins would smash one over the keeper's head from midfield, barely clipping the crossbar and going in before the break. Tying the game was all the momentum the Serpents needed, as even though Swole Santa would get back to it in the 71st and give THE a 1 goal lead, Bolton would find a SCREAMER 12 minutes later to equalize it once again. Far post, top corner, free kick from the corner of the box, cash money from Marvin Bolton. However, time and time again, the Dhemixians have proven they cannot and will not show up when it matters most. No moment in the game highlights this quite like the 90th minute. Rick Wilson, veteran defender, would foul Swole Santa in the box and concede a back-breaking penalty in extra time. Vying for a hat trick, Santa's ego would get the best of him, as he told the beta GK Wesley Williamson exactly where he was going to shoot, and how he was going to score nonetheless. Unfortunately for Santa, the factor he would fail to consider is the fact that Wesley Williamson has a 7-foot wingspan and could get just enough to send it away. At the sight of the PK, McMahon just started to pack up his things and head to The Brig's home locker room, only stopped by the absolute pandemonium unfolding after Williamson tipped it over the bar and out of play. Winning games is for losers, right?

Speaking of that, hey, remember the game against Melbergia, in which the Dhemixians conceded 3 own goals? The Serpents love own goals so much that they decided to bring them back against Sajnur. It's clear Rick Wilson wasn't right after conceding a potentially fatal penalty to THE a game earlier, and it shows in the 43rd minute here. Solely trying not to foul the strikers, Wilson zones out, and hits a backwards pass to Williamson just a little too hard. In return, Williamson is frozen as the "backwards pass" he's receiving suddenly is in flight, out of his reach to the right. In absolute horror, Wilson watches as it sails into the back of the net and opens the game in favor of the home team. Hey, winning games is for losers, right? Gregory Baker would equalize it on a header off a cross from the corner, but McMahon immediately shuts down his offense after this, settling for the one point and not risking yet another own goal. Is it valid? Probably not, considering the Serpents want to score another with every fiber of their being, but that's just how you live as a Dhemixian coach. Forced to be horrible and ignorant at your job for the rest of your life.

Doug McMahon has an opportunity to prove these patterns wrong, though. He arguably has the easiest stretch in front of him and desperately needs a couple of wins against Doubeia and Al-Tamazgha. Both teams appear not to be invincible based on their form, but then again, 4th and 5th in the group is by no means an easy opponent to face. If McMahon can find the confidence to be aggressive in the final minutes of matches, and cut down on the copious amounts of own goals, there's a world where the Serpents to 6/6 in the next two MDs. The real question is whether or not he's able to rise to the occasion.