A Tale Of Two Crescents - WC97 Roleplay Thread

[West Vdara]

West Vdaran Air Service

Greetings, comrades! Have you ever wanted to travel to glory greatest West Vdara, home of such delights as the People's Palace, the Great Amphitheatre of the Proletariat, and regularly-cleaned public toilets? Now, with the sudden expansion of West Vdaran Air Service's grand fleet of state-of-the-art revolutionary aircraft, anybody can! We encourage anyone and everyone to register their interest with their nearest airport, as well as contacting us at the address listed in the brochure. Current routes and destinations are limited due to sanctions and other nefarious deeds from the treacherous East Vdarans, but fear not! WVAS shall ensure that all flights go smoothly, no matter who dares to interfere with our glorious socialist utopia. Indeed, why not take a quick look at our brochure below?

This brochure contains all of the information you require about our safe and glorious airline, allowing you peace of mind about what to expect on-board. Indeed, if you require any more information, the contact address inside should allow you to ask any question to which your heart desires the answer. However, we are aware that this brochure does not cover anything. Here are some Often Proposed Inquiries (sometimes known in treacherous capitalist nations as 'FAQs')

How early should I arrive at the airport?

West Vdaran Air Service recommends that you check in 4 hours prior to departure, in order to allow for our glorious staff to go through all of your travel documents and passes. Indeed, we are aware this is significantly earlier than other airlines - in a way, this is because we are significantly safer than other airlines (unsourced). If you are departing from Kanaria-Angelopoulos Airport, this will be quicker - but make sure to check and ensure on the day that you do not miss your flight.

Will there be a food and drinks service?

Of course! West Vdaran Air Service strives to provide you with the finest cuisine which West Vdara has to offer. Our menu changes on a seasonal basis, as shown below:

Spring: Gyros
Summer: Gyros
Autumn: Gyros
Winter: Gyros

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Yes! Our flight attendants will be on hand to ensure that you are sufficiently entertained, as they are all trained professionally in juggling, storytelling, and dancing. In addition, there will be screens overhead which broadcast the finest entertainment the nation has to offer. Passengers can expect a wide variety of entertaining programmes, including live news from Channel 2 Kanaria, reshowings of West Vdaran dramas and rom-coms, and a Party channel which shows all the latest updates from the Supreme Leader and the Communist Party. Intermittently, you may see a route map, as well as the altitude, speed, and trajectory of your flight. Airline reviewers have noted that our entertainment system is second to none**, which shows just how great we are at providing the best for our passengers and comrades!
**in comparison with other revolutionary nations similar to our ethos

Will our words be monitored on the flight?

[ANSWER REDACTED BY THE VDARAN INFORMATION AND INTELLIGENCE BUREAU]

Thank you for sending in such great questions! If you have any more, do not hesitate to contact. All our flights are in compliance with international air travel policy, but if your flight happens to be delayed by a significant amount of time - do not fret! Depending on the length of your delay, the size of your complimentary gyro may be increased. We hope this allows you to consider flying with West Vdaran Air Service - the nation's best and only choice.


a picture of the tarmac at Kanaria-Angelopoulos Airport, featuring multiple SG-69s and SG-126s

[Mytanija]

KELSSEK 0-0 MYTANIJA

MYT: 1. Vasilevski; 13. Beganović, 3. Mbala-Ekakia (c), 4. Vlahovljaković (sub. Sulejmanović 72’), 5. Lusamba (sub. Klanac 72’); 17. Stojadinović–Srpkinja, 6. Papež (sub. Saev 84’); 19. Gicić, 8. Šaranja; 9. Issoumou (sub. Papić–Papratović 72’), 10. Ovsyannikov (sub. Frantsaliiski 78’)

MYTANIJA 3-2 HOT-DAMN

MYT: Ovsyannikov 33’, Isidora 75’, Prokopljević 88’

MYT: 1. Vasilevski; 2. Jesenko, 3. Mbala-Ekakia (c) (sub. Mioković–Čiča 81’), 15. Sulejmanović, 27. Gazibegović; 7. Vdovichenko, 6. Papež (sub. Stanoev 60’), 18. Frantsaliiski (sub. Šaranja 81’); 10. Ovsyannikov (sub. Isidora 68’); 9. Issoumou (sub. Prokopljević 68’), 11. Papić–Papratović

“All in all, a half decent international break, Ermin?” Nevenka Planinc asked.

“Yeah, we’ve got to be reasonably pleased. Going away to Kelssek is always tough and we managed to dig out a really important victory over Hot-Damn. It was good to see the substitutes make an impact in a match where we had been on the rack a little bit. It leaves us in a solid position, pretty much ‘as you were’ in the group. It would have been nice to move back top but Hapilopper did their bit and got top whilst ourselves and Kelssek had to play each other. We just need to make sure we win our remaining games now, it’s still in our hands.”

“You mention the impact of the substitutes in the match against Hot-Damn, two of the scorers being the players coming on must always be pleasing as the manager – your call affecting the game in such a positive way?”

“Absolutely and not just because you lot are trying to butter me up in press conferences!” Ermin laughed. “We felt the game begin to slide away from us in the second half, so we had to make some changes… A lot of the early part of the second half the ball was up in the sky, so we wanted to get a foot on it and regain control a bit. We got our most creative options on with Stoja Stanoev and Isidora and that gave us that little bit more technical quality in the middle to keep possession for longer and maintain the pressure. It wasn’t the masterplan but it allowed us to get back on top and got us the result in the end.”

“Looking back now, do you feel that the substitutes in the Kelssek game also made that sort of difference? Albeit perhaps in a different way.”

“Yeah, 100% actually, some might say it was a rearguard action which rescued us a point there but we won’t let that cast no shadow on the performance as a whole. Against Hot-Damn we needed attacking talent and creativity, against Kelssek we needed defensive quality and calm heads. Different games, different opponents and different demands placed on us – the key thing was getting the job done and that’s the adage we’ll be taking forwards from here.”

“Looking forward, with matches against CARC, Hapilopper and Ile de Richelieu remaining, how confident do you feel about finishing in the top two positions in the group and guaranteeing a World Cup place?”

“Hey now, as you know Nevenka, it’s never as easy as saying we’ll get the results and we’ll be there. That’s three tough matches, the Hapilopper game obviously being absolutely crucial to the outcome of the group but the Ile de Richelieu match is a tricky one and CARC demonstrated just how tough they are to play against the first time around. We’ll take each game as it comes and look to get the results we need. We’ll always be confident with the calibre of players that we have, but the other teams are good too – we have to remember that.”

“You must have been particularly impressed with Isidora’s showing off the bench, one goal and an assist at such a pivotal moment?”

“Always, when we send players on in tricky matches like that, where we need to change something to get a result, all we’re really asking from them is to go and change the game by carrying out the instructions that we give to them. Isidora did that exactly, but there’s also the fact that she’s electric when she is at the top of her game. Her run for the equaliser was superb, she managed to get away from her opponent so well to give herself the space for the shot. And then she plays a cross in like the one she gave to Milica for his goal. Excellent, we’re really happy with her and hopefully she can carry the form forwards.”

“Will she be in line for a starting role in any of the remaining matches?”

“We have Ovsi, so it’s tough to say that sort of thing, he’s the starter and we’re very pleased that we have him. What we need from everybody else is for them to be ready when the call comes and Isidora has proven that she can do that for us, so we know we can rely upon her. Quite a few players have demonstrated that during this qualifying run, so that leaves us in a good position and gives us plenty of depth which we can change things with when we need to.”

[Tumbra]

Tumbra 1–0 Commonwealth of Baker Park

TMB (4-2-3-1): 1 - V Jones; 18 - H Kennedy, 19 - Y Lawson, 20 - H Edwards (35 - B Byrne, 68'), 17 - J McCreary; 6 - T Harrison (23 - L McCormick, 82'), 27 - M Russelar, 10 - S Monaghan (15 - R McLaren, 68'); 7 - V Wells, 26 - A Pearson (33 - H Colvin, 82'); 11 - C Henshaw (21 - E Maddison, 75')

TMB scorers: Matthias Russelar [35']

Player of the Match: Matthias Russelar [TMB]

---

Adab 3–1 Tumbra

TMB (4-2-3-1): 1 - V Jones; 2 - A Renton, 4 - S Kerr, 20 - H Edwards (5 - W Pritchett, 65'), 17 - J McCreary (3 - T Mercurio, 65'); 6 - T Harrison, 8 - V Leighton, 10 - S Monaghan (16 - C Campbell, 65'); 7 - V Wells (14 - E Robertson, 71'), 26 - A Pearson; 21 - E Maddison (11 - C Henshaw, 60')

TMB scorers: Charlotte Henshaw [85']

Player of the Match: Emma Arthur [ADB]

Partisan lean of each of Tumbra's 25 states. The Northlands are not included as it has not yet voted at a federal election, and even then it would be difficult to compute a two-party lean considering that each of the major parties do not contest elections there. L = Labour (centre-left), P = People's (centre-right), R = Republican (regionalist, liberal). The number in the second column represents how strong a political party is in each state; for example, Bencoolen being a Labour + 25 state means that without any other circumstances, the state would normally vote for Labour by a 25 percentage point margin (i.e. Labour 62.5%, People's 37.5%). The third column represents who currently controls each state's government.

A map to somewhat visualise the geographical divide that the country faces; in general, the east votes Left, while the west votes Right.

The partisan lean of a state isn't necessarily a useful metric in the field of Tumbran political science, considering that the Federal Republic is a multi-party democracy. The fact that there are two parties whose strengths far outweigh the others in Parliament, however, and the fact that Tumbra uses a voting system that often filters votes down to these two parties, anyway, means that the metric does have some use. While more academic psephologists refrain from using this, partisan lean is a useful concept that illustrates at a glance the "great divide" between Tumbran states; even though all states are varying degrees of purple on the macro level. With how the chips fell in the 2038 state elections, too, armchair analysts are licking their lips and rubbing their palms together at the prospect of neatly slotting Tumbrans into one of two categories, given that for the first time in a while, state governments have matched up almost perfectly with how the partisan lean of their respective state is.

So how is this partisan lean calculated? Unlike other metrics, the lean is calculated based on the margin of victory, rather than how many points a party wins by; which means that a Labour + 8 state, for example, means that in the final two-party preferred vote, Labour won by eight points over the People's Party — meaning that Labour won 54% of the two-party preferred vote to the People's Party's 46%. The partisan lean of the country is assumed to begin at 50-50. States are then classified, mostly according to their partisan lean, into four different categories; "Tossup", meaning that at any given election it's a coin toss to determine who would win said election; "Lean", "Likely", and then "Safe", which just denotes how likely a given party is to win an election. If, at any point, a party has above an 80% chance of winning an election, it's just deemed as a safe state. There is some confusion over the margin of victory and the rating of a particular state; margins, despite being positively correlated with the likelihood that a party wins a state, are not directly correlated.

All in all, is the metric useful? Not very. States have been proven to vote, at the state level, for the opposing party all the time. That has become rarer over time — something psephologists put down to an increasing level of political polarisation in Tumbra — but the concept of a Peoples' Party government in Severn (Labour + 8) or a Labour government in Fremont (Peoples' + 10) is not out of the question. The arrival of political parties that explicitly focus on regions — see the Republicans in the southwest, who are socially liberal, agitate for Dutch to be recognised as a language there, and who are essentially a Southwest interests' party — has meant that the stranglehold that parties have had over state governments are slowly slipping. Of the four states in the southwest — Pesvern, Fremont, Lormark, and Turvenal — while the Peoples' Party is strong there, the Republicans are likely to challenge for state government in the latter two come 2041 (the next round of state elections), completely upturning the equation that politics is conducted upon a People's-Labour axis. On the left, too, the environmentalist, left-wing Alliance has won government in Labour's supposed strongest state, Bencoolen.

So why do people still look at this metric? For one, it's largely accurate to the disengaged voter. Straton and Bencoolen are largely seen as the most progressive or left-wing places in the country; Pesvern is largely seen as a bastion of conservatism. One could look at this table and say "yeah, that looks about right" if they're told that "the state of Hamilton votes for the People's Party most of the time." or "Bencoolen is where the left is strongest in the country." What it hides, however, is how many voters in the country don't have the big two as their primary choice; or how diverse viable Tumbran political parties are.

For that reason, the idea of partisan lean in Tumbra is largely seen as a niche, pop-psephological, and not-really-very-scientific tool in political science.

TUMBRAN ROSTER FOR MATCH v UNITED HAWKLAND (@ STOKERS' PARK, FONTWELL), @ ZENIC
Link to full roster
Goalkeepers: 1 - Victoria Jones [Lakewood City], 12 - Richard Russell [Lakewood United], 25 - Branko Cvitkovic [Serrapince]
Defenders: 2 - Annie Renton [Serrapince], 18 - Hazel Kennedy [Couno Rangers], 4 - Stephen Kerr [Chromatik, CMT], 5 - Wendy Pritchett [Lakewood United], 19 - Yvonne Lawson [CS Saint-Rémy, KSK], 20 - Hannah Edwards [Kingston, QUE], 35 - Benjamin Byrne [Lakewood City], 3 - Tracey Mercurio [Kingston, QUE], 42 - James Green [Bavingtor, FVA]
Midfielders: 6 - Trudy Harrison [Chromatik, CMT], 30 - Heather Hindmarsh [Newark Argyle], 8 - Victor Leighton [Lakewood City], 13 - Stella Harrington [Newark Argyle], 27 - Matthias Russelar [FC Inter Nantwich], 10 - Susan Monaghan [Lakewood City], 16 - Colin Campbell [Newark Argyle]
Wingers: 7 - Valerie Wells [Lakewood United], 14 - Erin Robertson [Couno Rangers], 9 - Lynne Crossley [Chromatik, CMT] 33 - Henrietta Colvin [Lakewood City]
Strikers: 11 - Charlotte Henshaw [Lakewood City], 21 - Edward Maddison [Avondale City, SYL], 22 - Julie Hardaker [Myana, CMT]

Schedule: v RIN, @ VCS//v DEI, @ CBP//v ADB, @ UHL//v ZEN, @ OVU//Bye, @ RIN//v VCS, @ DEI//v CBP, @ ADB//v UHL, @ ZEN//v OVU, Bye

[Cardenao]

‘Okay, easy now.’

Pushing the air out of your lungs, looking down at your feet. Blue and gold boots, perfect for the moment. You jump up and down, trying to get your heart rate up and dispel the nerves at the same time. You usually don’t get nervous, you’ve always lived up to the moment……but this was a big moment. Only minutes earlier had Francisco Martini Marley motioned for you to start warming up, not for the first time this tournament as he looked to change up the attack. You’d see the field before, this wasn’t your international debut…no, that had been a longgg six matches ago. So why the nerves? A player flashed by the sideline wearing that all too familiar (and loathed) red and green of……

Audioslavia. Yes the architects of four Cardenaoan defeat, including a crushing World Cup Playoff loss that you were just a wee lad for, were once again the opponents of the day and, with 15 minutes left in the game, you are being subbed in at striker to try and beat the Audioslavians for the first time in your history.

‘Yeah guess that’ll do for nerves,’ you think to yourself as the fourth official holds up the board and the whole multiverse could see that the legendary #9 of Cardenao Juanma Saez was being replaced by……who was that wearing the #19? Some 18 year old kid? Your name boomed out over the stadium speakers, the hopes and dreams of an entire country was now on your shoulders.

“Off the field, #9 Juanma Saez. On the field, #19 Kiko Nécib!”

---

“Paolo, tell us what you remember about that moment.”

“I’ll be honest, it was such a blur! So many emotions of course you know, just pride and joy and I’m just so happy to see my boy doing what he loves and succeeding? That’s what being a father is all about.”

“This can’t be a surprise though, having a former professional footballer as a father and a former track star as a mother, seems dead on to get some athletic ability!”

“[laughs]Yeah there might be something to that! But hey when you say professional, we need to keep in mind that, back then? It was nothing like it was today. There was no MegaPower League, there wasn’t any high paying contracts or anything like that, back then you had to choose to sacrifice your life really, to give up your career to play ball. Maybe the team would cover the cost of gas but that was every once in a while, you were on your own back then so it’s not like I was getting paid big bucks like Alberto Godwine, the ten million dollar man."

“But surely some of Kiko’s football success comes from the athletic gifts he inherited from you and Louisa?”

“Maybe, maybe not! Did it help? Could’ve done, but what I know for sure helped is Kiko’s passion for the game, it’s not just love, it’s passion. From the beginning, he didn’t want to play, but he wanted to play the best if that makes sense. He was never content just being on the field, he dreaded not being the best player out there, and that fire, that passion drove him to where he is today, 18 years old and my boy will already never be forgotten!”

“So how did you end up providing for your family and the Nécib trio?”

“Well I that came from the jobs program Mihaly started up or however that sort of thing happens. I was working in the flax business making shipments to the Ochre Islands and Louisa my wife, she’s my why, the reason why I’ve done anything since high school. Look, I’m the hype man, I motivate my kids, I help them with the ins and outs of football, I make sure life is fun for them……Lousia? She’s all about discipline, the importance of teamwork in chores and activities of daily living, she keeps me grounded when I start thinking big and that’s something good for the kids to learn.

“That’s all well and good, but the fans want to know……walk us through those moments, those seconds building up to your son scoring the winning goal against the devil named Audioslavia?”

---

“Ohhhh my god I can’t watch I’m so nervvvous!!!”

“Cmon Zoila, you think your heart is beating fast, imagine what your brother is feeling!”

The game clock read 83:27 as Cardenao battled Audioslavia out on the pitch, 22 players out there giving it their all, ready to die on the field if it meant bringing honor to their country. After a 83 minutes of positive play that gave the Blue and Golds fans some optimism, there was now a sense that the game was trending towards an inevitable late winner from the Red and Greens…which would make it five losses in a row against those of Audio. They well and truly were the Cardenaoan boogeyman.

“That’s a nice tackle,” Paolo remarked as Telmo Andrade stuck his foot out at the perfect time to nick the ball from Coorie and turn defense into offense. La Furia Azule rushed forward as, all of the sudden, the Audioslavians were caught out of position and the break was on.

“Ohhhhhhhh!” was all Paolo could manage to say as Hartiz Larrainzar took possession of the ball, neatly pirouetting between two defenders and spraying a pass deep down the left flank for Titus Young to run onto. As the play developed and space started to open up for the Cardenaoan attack, the father of the Nécib family couldn’t help but jump to his feet and pull his giggling little girl Zoila into his arms.

“Look look Z, look at your brother over on the right wing, he’s drifting in perfectly, that’s how you fill in the space! Is Titus gonna get the ball though??”

Just when the Nécibs and Cardenaoans as a whole thought that Larrainzar had perhaps put a little too much weight on the pass, the 20 year old winger from Club Valentino hit sixth gear and got his boot to the ball, just barely keeping it inbounds before hitting a grasscutter into the center.

“Chímoooooahhhhhhnoooooo!” The whole stadium groaned as Chímo wound up to hit the ball but mistimed it and only got air instead. The whole stadium except for one man who wasn’t watching the game, he was watching his son like he had for each of his games for the last 18 years and this man had seen this before. He was up off his seat celebrating before the ball had even reached his son’s right foot, swinging perfectly to meet it. He’d seen his son do this a thousand times from their village’s dirt roads to the shoddy local pitch to the neatly manicured fields of Ciudad LeBois as his son became a professional. No one in the stadium, no one in Cardenao, no one in all of the multiverse and the realms above and below it were louder than Paolo Nécib was, yelling and cheering as Kiko Nécib connected sweetly with the ball, curling it delicately between two defenders, past a goalkeeper who stood rooted to the spot, and into the goal to seal the win.

Finally, Cardenao had beaten Audioslavia. The weight was off and the race to qualification was on. Kiko Nécib, the hidden jewel from the Blue and Orange of LeBois had exploded onto the scene with the Blue and Golds of Cardenao, there would be no stopping the hype now.

Did he deserve that hype or would he be yet another Cardenaoan wonderkid who ended up bang average? Only time would tell but either way, Kiko’s Khronicle was just beginning.

[Saint Eleanor]

Group of Six meeting (XXXV) --- SAINT ELEANOR 0-0 Recuecn
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Angelica Northend, again [ballot]
Location: The café at the Museum of Liberation; Central district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

Am I on post-Reçueçn duty again? Apparently so! Unlike during the away tie, our opponents did manage to attack when it made sense - which was rarely, given their style of play, but enough to keep everyone alert, ensure that everything was cancelled out and give us the draw that I think everyone involved needed. As always, the points will be highlighted: yellow for retrospectives, blue for points about us, green for points about the opposition, (we largely already know how to handle Delaclava so no pink today, sorry.)

----------

The almost-classic 1-10 + Hart, 4-2-3-1 lineup was used when Delaclava visited us to reasonably great effect - we won 1-0 in a match where nothing else obvious seemed to go horribly wrong, or horribly right. I think that the Delaclav style is well-established to us by now and there's no use going over it again. With that in mind, we will be fielding 1-11 with Goldsmith back up front. As another reminder, and as discussed last time, zonal marking will be used... as will the offside trap. (Oh, my, that is quite the highlighted-to-not-really-important ratio there. But I'm not sure how much there is to say. Angie says nothing; so does Stephen; GB would like a quick mention of tactical flexibility, though.)

Robby Ellis: "People respect me tons, they think I'm a good goalie"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers avoids getting bored by the man he just called "boring"
Originally published on Wednesday 2nd March 2011

As far as Robby Ellis goes, nobody should expect much from him. "I'm Indy's goalkeeper, we've got a good defence, and I'm not likely to get any games. So what should give for me? Really? Maybe I'm dependable, or just a local lad, or a bastard. Some say it's all of that, though."

Ellis describes himself as "a real Central lad, not one of those government suits" - even though both of his parents work for the state, although in a more localised capacity than you would expect. "I'd give a tier ranking of the government jobs here, but you have the Army, then the rest of the emergency services, then the people who support them, then the boring suits at desks. My parents were roughly in the middle of that bracketing. They taught me well. The [Eleanorian] Academy did, as well, but I wasn't really interested in the after-school activities other than football with Bill Patrick and I'd definitely say I only did enough to get by."

It's clear, however, that he did more than enough to win the 2001 Charles Trump Shield with them. "You know I actually dated Rachel Jenkins [the Academy's star midfielder and Golden Backpack winner], didn't you? We didn't marry because she ran off to Zeta Reka, but I remember her more fondly than anyone else on the team, except Joe [Joseph Packer] my reserve and Simon Pell the rightback. These three people were pretty much the best three friends I had in my year group. I think too much of that year's story is told about the attacking success stories - Lucy [Walker, who currently works in Torch's human resources department]; Kavvy [Kavezalea Felaraneta] - but I only conceded three goals for a reason."

Unusually, Ellis passes on the opportunity to name the three games that have most shaped his career. "It hasn't been that long ago since John Bailey hung it up, surely? Definitely the 5-1, though. I thought it was going to be a close one where I had to be on top form; I was, but then I was lied at too." Would he agree with the sentiment that the process so far has been one of continuous development? "Absolutely, it would. I always thought to myself, I've won this, filled in for John on a few games early on, I'm good enough. Then I was asked a few years ago, for obvious reasons, 'can you start for us full-time?' I said yes, of course, and it's grown from there. I have a good working relationship with everyone, and I think people respect me tons, they think I'm a good goalie and we all look out for each other. If I wasn't trusted, I'd be well outside the IFCF's top fifty leagues or whatever the magic number is."

Ellis claims to be relatively friendly with "everyone," but he has his favourites. "Cathy [Winchester] is the obvious, big 'yes.' She's the captain of the club team, almost the captain here, nice and posh enough, will give it to you as straight as she can - what I'd aspire to be, if I wasn't the goalkeeper. Matt [Morrison], yes, he's around my age and a slightly richer version of me. Daiki [Fujiwara], big yes, he's in the same 'a bit boring' box as me according to loads of people, but we gel together pretty well, and not just because we're subs. I don't really vibe with Bridget, she's a bit too abstract, but I always follow her orders." Would he say he was on good terms with Esther Launceston, one of Saint Eleanor's starting defenders and famous for her love of the creative arts? "Well, yes. She was talking to me the other day about the novel she was reading. I checked out a copy from the Central Library, thought it was soppy two-dollars'-worth trash, and checked it back in after eight pages. But then again, she wants babies."

On the whole, Robby Ellis strikes the average observer as a generic, if rare, member of Central district's working class more than as someone with nothing going for him. This is almost surprising, despite what people (myself included) have said about him, or perhaps because of it: his ability to impress, inform and illuminate is clear to see - as is his willingness to get stuck into the action, form strong relationships and just get on with the job. If he ever gets the green flag from Gentle Breeze or her successors, do not be surprised.

Group of Six meeting (XXXVI) --- Delaclava 0-3 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Wunderbar Quatro [ballot]
Location: A restaurant of questionable goodness; the Airport, Catherine, DEL

If my numbers are CORRECT, WHICH BRIDGET WILL ASSURE ME OF (she is one smart cookie!!!!!!!), then THIS WAS NEARLY THE GREATEST SUCCESS IN OUR HISTORY!!!!! We showed the Phoenixes right where they can PUT THEIR FIRE - BENEATH A PILE OF USED, HOPEFULLY NON-HERALD NEWSPAPERS. This was no doubt an ARRAY OF EXCELLENT SOLO PERFORMANCES, but the cream of the crop has to go to Tim Hart, who dragged himself off the bench, scored twice, and PUT OUR VICTORY IN THE GROUP BEYOND ANY AND ALL DOUBT! YES, WE ACTUALLY WON THE GROUP!

So how are we to build on this remarkable event in our next tie, against THE MIGHTY HACK YOUS, HIIIIIIII-YA!!!?
Bridget: "We won't"
Wunderbar: "You sure have one dry sense of humour don't you Bridget"
Cathy: "She's not joking"
Wunderbar: "Dry sense of humour... no wonder"
Stephen: "Did they not say anything"
Bridget: "I said this is a mostly unprecedented situation. For all we know they could just field random players"
Me: "If we don't know how they play surely we just play our normal 4-2-3-1 and be normal yeah"
Stephen: "Yeah"
GB: "Normal lineup?"
Cathy: "Normal lineup"
The other three people: "Normal lineup"
Bridgetotron 3500: "That would be a sound assessment"
Reniira: "Just let me write this down, the flight leaves in thirty... beeeee... normal. Fuckitybye"

BE NORMAL
AND WE WILL LOOK COMPETENT
SO WE WILL QUALIFY EVEN HARDER
AND MAYBE MAKE THE QUARTERS THIS TIME

4-2-3-1:
____________ ARIELLE ___________
CATHY - LYDIA - ESTHER - EXANDRA
_____ BRIDGET - WUNDERBAR _____
___ GRAHAM - STEVE - ANGELICA __
_____________ RICK ______________


Reniira Clevinger doesn't have no clue. All of us don't

[Pasarga]

Groups 9-17 Matchday 15/16 Cutoff

[Mertagne]

Mertagne have played fifteen of their required sixteen games within this World Cup Qualifying campaign, and their current position is much the same as it has been for the whole time - clinging desperately to first place by the thinnest of margins. It's a boon for Mertagne that head-to-head results reign supreme as the first metric of tiebreakers here, as the Green Goblins have a positive record against StrayaRoos this cycle, managing to grab a win over in Pale early on in the campaign, and bolt the door just enough at Dannin City Stadium to secure a point against the Socceroos on the backswing.

Now, it's all to play for in the final match of the qualifiers for the Green Goblins, against Hispinas at the Box 2 Box Ballstadion in Keers. Furthermore, Mertagne will be waiting with bated breath on the final matchday to see if their closest competitors can bottle it and fail to beat the gap (which is slim, admittedly) that Mertagne will have hopefully built up against the rest of the group.

Hispinas, however, will be looking to make such a feat as difficult as possible. Mertagne were incredibly lucky to take away all three points against them on Matchday 8 at the Estadio Nacional en el Castillo, during a tough game that saw both teams trade the lead back and forth, with Conwal Ibarborde scoring a buffer goal in the 72nd minute that was rapidly eroded by Solorzano in the 77th. Pundits all over Mertagne were in agreement that if the Sealions had had just a couple more minutes on the pitch, they could have easily taken a point out of the top seed. In fact, this game was so pivotal to the tactics that Hazaluta has employed this cycle, that it necessitated a trade-up to a more centrally minded lineup in the back half of the qualifiers.

This is a lineup that hasn't necessarily worked as well as Hazaluta has likely hoped. It's no secret that Mertagne are among the most struggling of the first seeds in these qualifiers, as the Green Goblins find themselves within the lower quartile of points gained by first seeds. Not exactly a glowing record for last cycle's hosts, and many have claimed that the lack of international play in the interim (combined with a unique CAFA format) have given the team a sense of malaise.

Luka Hazaluta has bitten back at critics, however, and has in the last few days sent an ornate puzzle box to several prolific journalists, in particular those that have penned hit pieces against the former Chatswood defender for his management style of the Green Goblins in the wake of the departure of Ázëwyn Fëanáro nearly three years ago now.

Image generated using Artificial Intelligence. Prompt: "A wooden puzzle box with a goblin's face etched into the top." I guess the puzzles are inside.

We have obtained an unopened version of this box, and we were shocked at the contents. Upon opening the box, we discovered an intricate set of sliding and illusory puzzles revealing subsequently smaller boxes that took us 35 minutes, the right climatic conditions, a pair of tweezers, and a copy of the Sporting Almanac from Cycle 89 to get into. Found within was the following:

A Polaroid photo of Mertagnian striker Trebuchet, with "PLAN A: TREBUCHET" written on it.

When asked about the rather esoteric method of revealing his plans for the Mertagnian attack in an interview a few days later, Hazaluta laughed and simply said "You've puzzled over the options as much as I have, but the answer is deceptively simple. We're only putting Trebuchet at the front."

This switch from a 4-4-2 to a (likely) 5-4-1 formation implied by Hazaluta will shore up some of the team's defensive weaknesses, but is likely to put the pressure on the young 21 year-old striker. While he is rumoured to have a foot that can punt a 90 kilogram projectile over 300 metres, it remains to be seen whether he'll be able to smack a couple past Hispinas and ensure that Mertagne get the final three points they need to have the best chance at qualifying outright.

Trebuchet, 21, was asked himself in the days leading up to the match whether the pressure of being the team's centrepoint of attack would get to him. He simply said "No. I'm just here to play some football."

OOC Note: For this final game only, my 'I would prefer you choose these goalscorers' permission is set to the following: 'Only Trebuchet will score goals for Mertagne'.

[City of Myrtle Beach]

We were out for a few days there. It was dark, but we got everything back online and we're ready to continue our not-so-continuing coverage of the 97th World Cup Qualifiers for Myrtle Beach. We won't be able to provide a comprehensive list of everything that was missed- we're still collating everything that happened- but a quick rundown.

Myrtle Beach is now second in Group 9. We have the most amount of goals for, and the second-highest goal difference. However, we aren't done yet. If Drawkland or Qasden do not lose either of their next two matches, and we lose or draw (if we draw, then they must win both of their matches) our only match (we have a bye matchday 17), we will be unable to automatically qualify. If both teams do not lose either of their next two matches, then we will not enter the playoffs. All we have to do is win versus... Qasden. It's an away game for us, too. Our last matchup with Qasden on MD9, we won 3-1, but that was at home. This is anyone's game. For all the marbles!

# Group 9                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Bears Armed                         14    9   4   1    35   21  +14    31  Qualified for WC97
2 Myrtle Beach                        15    7   6   2    41   28  +13    27
3 Drawkland                           14    7   2   5    29   25   +4    23 
4 Qasden                              14    7   2   5    20   19   +1    23
5 HUElavia                            15    6   4   5    27   23   +4    22
6 West Vdara                          14    5   4   5    22   21   +1    19
7 Yakk                                14    2   4   8    24   39  −15    10  Eliminated from contention
8 North and South Slavo-Baltia        14    2   4   8    19   28   −9    10  Eliminated from contention
9 Vaishnavaria                        14    1   6   7    16   29  −13     9  Eliminated from contention

[Vdara]

If You Think You're Getting Away, I Will Prove You Wrong

[Tikariot]

Prologue
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6 - Floating around somewhere in the aether at the moment.


Inspector Geoff Kennedy was tired, both physically and mentally. Physically because he had not slept in 36 hours, mentally not only because of having a madman on the loose killing people but also having to deal with his subordinates who have been showing a remarkable ineptitude in doing online research. Even ever-perky Carlyle had proven that he was great with procedures and manuals but an absolute disaster with modern technology. And Hastings... He had a feeling Hastings had just recently graduated from stone tablets. And the rest of the team was good officers, but more versed in police procedures than online sleuthing.

He picked up his phone and waited. "Damian? Can you please put on Nicky? We need help."

* * * * *

In the backroom of Thunderforge Records, the mood was decidedly different, with excitement reaching a high. Nicky Carliss was almost bouncing off the walls after Inspector Kennedy's call that the CPS was unofficially requesting help with online sleuthing. What usually was a sanctuary for metalheads had now transformed into an impromptu war room. Nicky had enlisted the help of Morgan and Danica to help her with her online search. Their task was to assist her combing through social media profiles, news archives, forums and anything else that could hold potential information on the victims or their brothers.

Nicky sat at the centre of the makeshift command station, her laptop groaning under the load of countless tabs opened to social media profiles, news archives, and obscure forums. Her fingers flew across the keys cross-referencing names, dates, and locations, her mind running at a speed even she hadn’t anticipated. Next to her, Viljan Morgan Samuelsson, the tall Viking-like young man with his flowing blond hair bound tightly at the back, was focused on a series of spreadsheets, recording every piece of information they uncovered to (hopefully) mark down possible connections. On her other side, Danica Robertson, a petite woman with jet-black hair was tasked with checking the more obscure and hidden corners of the internet to find digital footprints most people thought they had never left.

Inspector Kennedy had left them with a simple directive: find out who these victims were, their brothers, and why someone—or something—might be targeting them. It was a very risky operation, not just for the investigation, but for the inspector himself. Sharing top-secret information with a group of civilians, even if they were unofficially helping the investigation, was a severe breach of protocol that could cost him his career. But Kennedy saw no other choice, with his team not seeing the forest for all the trees.

Nicky pulled up the list of victims, her eyes scanning the names once again. “Alright,” she muttered, mostly to herself. “Let’s start with what we know.”

Morgan and Danica leaned in, ready to contribute any information they had as Nicky began to read aloud.

“First victim: Malcolm Finch. Found exsanguinated in a warehouse in the Danford Docks area. His brother’s name is Greg Finch, works as a consultant for the Ministry of Defense. Malcolm was a teacher, no criminal record, no obvious enemies.”

“Defense consultant,” Morgan noted, typing quickly into his laptop. “Might be some kind of military connection.”

“Or something he stumbled on through his brother,” Danica added, her voice low as she continued to browse through forums. “Let’s keep that in mind.”

“Next victim,” Nicky continued, “is Julian Drake. Found in an alley downtown, same MO. His brother is Benjamin Drake, an investigative journalist. Julian was an artist, not much in terms of public presence, but Ben’s got a pretty high profile, lots of enemies.”

Danica looked up. “Journalists dig into all kinds of dirt. Could be something Ben found that got his brother killed.”

Morgan nodded, “Yeah, maybe. I’m seeing some of Ben’s articles here, he’s written about government corruption, corporate scandals, the works.”

Nicky tapped her fingers on the table as she thought. “But why target the brothers, too? If it’s about what one of them has done, why target both?”

“Maybe it’s a message,” Morgan suggested. “Guilt by association or something like that. Not that it makes much sense, but then again, if someone starts killing people like that, common sense is likely not very high on the list.”

Nicky shook her head, sighing, focusing back on the list. “Let’s keep going. Next, we have Daniel Mason, found in a burned-out building in the Benatelli Industrial District. Brother: Patrick Mason, a high-ranking officer in the city’s police department.”

“An inside job?” Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” Nicky said. “But that still doesn't connect it to anything or anyone else.”

She pulled up one of Daniel’s social media accounts, scrolling through posts and pictures. “Looks like Daniel was pretty active online. Lots of posts about his brother, how proud he was of him. But also… some stuff about feeling abandoned.”

Danica leaned over to see. “Sibling rivalry? Maybe Daniel wasn’t as happy with Patrick as he let on.”

“Maybe,” Nicky agreed. “But I don’t think it’s just that. Cain’s not just killing; he’s staging these murders, making a spectacle of them. There’s a reason behind it, something we’re not seeing yet.”

They continued their work, moving through the list of victims: Lucas Grey, whose brother Oliver was a key figure in local politics; Andrew McCallum, whose brother Jason was a rising star in the tech industry; and Christopher Reynolds, whose brother Mark was a major player in the pharmaceutical world.

Each pair of brothers had something in common: one successful, high-profile and one less accomplished, often overlooked.

Morgan paused, looking at the data spread out before them. “Do you think Cain is one of these brothers? Maybe someone who felt overshadowed, overlooked? And now he’s taking revenge?”

“Could be,” Danica said. “But there’s something else, too. Look at the pattern; every one of these victims had a brother who was somehow connected to power. Government, military, media, law enforcement. Maybe Cain's targeting the institutions, and uses the brothers as a way to get at them?”

Nicky frowned, the pieces of the puzzle still not fitting together in her mind. “But why? What’s the connection? Why go after the brothers instead of just the actual people in power?”

Morgan shook his head. “Maybe it’s about sending a message. Or maybe… Cain thinks the brothers are complicit in some way. That they’re part of the problem, maybe by not stopping their brothers in whatever seems to be ticking off Cain?”

Nicky sighed. "The problem is that we don't know what IS ticking off Cain, so it could be anything really... Well, let’s keep digging, there has to be something out there that can help us figure out what all of this means. And hopefully before it’s too late.”

[Aleirave]

Sent Back in Time
Panay Islands and Guimaras 2-1 Aleirave
Aleirave 3-1 United Mandaran States

“Oh boy, not this again…”

Aleirave was an island used to technological issues. During the reign of the old Tereyev regime, new technology was heavily suppressed to the point of not existing. Landline phones did exist, many of which were still in use in fact, but they couldn’t connect to the outside, for fears of dissent setting in. As for internet… internet? Hah! That was completely unheard of before 2023.

So, when a software bug on the mainland led to thousands of services collapsing, including every ISP and therefore the entire Eshian internet, this was something that was prepared for, even expected. Things were just spotty out here, and it was business as usual.

However, what wasn’t business as usual was the length of this outage. Usually, EshiaCom would show up with the fix in a couple days… but this was longer. Days, weeks, months passed by with absolutely no fix in sight. The islanders were used to being isolated, but this left them even more isolated than they had been in years. The outside world simply… vanished.

Haulafo and the Seagulls were on the island following their matchup against the United Mandaran States, so they too were a part of this isolation. In fact, they took the boat ride all the way to Burikinia not realizing that there would be no game there to meet them; the World Cup Committee had decided to postpone all competition in the wake of multiple international crises afflicting nations across the multiverse.

With no match to be played and Aleirave having no connections to the outside world for the foreseeable future, Haulafo made the decision to leave the team in Burikinia for the time being. After all, if the WCC ever did decide to start matches up again, there would be no way for that news to reach Aleirave before the Seagulls would be forced to forfeit the match from not showing up… so, they would remain in Burikinia. At least there they’d have connections to the rest of the world, presumably. And hopefully at some point Eshialand’s and Aleirave’s internet would be back… right?

---

A couple weeks later…

RIIING! RIIING!!
“Hello?”
“Hi Haulafo, I’m calling from the WCC… we’ve decided to resume World Cup Qualifying play for the next matchday, so is it alright if you could play it in… 48 hours?”
“That sounds alright to me, for sure. Any word on the situation back home?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have any, I was just calling about the games because that’s what I am qualified to–”
“That’s alright, I can try to call home to see what’s going on. Have a great day!”
“You too!”

Haulafo hung up the hotel phone and dialed the number of his wife back home.

“I’m sorry, but your call has been forwarded to a number that is no longer in service.”

Welp, that answered that. World Cup Qualifying was starting back up and Aleirave was still in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. Oh well, sometimes things don’t line up how you wish they would, and hopefully things could all be back to normal sooner rather than later… but for now, a semblance of normalcy was back, and it was time to make it count.

[Riena]

The Riena Sentinel

---

Superb Riena shock Baker Park 1-0 in Newmarket
Famous away upset of runaway group leaders ignites lukewarm qualification campaign

---

• Commonwealth of Baker Park: None
• Riena: Nekoda (74')

Can this young, inexperienced Riena team go all the way in the race to qualify for the World Cup finals in Eastfield Lodge and Pasarga?

That is the burning question that every Riena fan will be asking after they saw Cocoa Haneda's side outperform all expectations to snatch a shock 1-0 away victory against Commonwealth of Baker Park at Prince William Stadium in Newmarket to continue their excellent form since the halfway point of the qualification campaign. This latest victory suggests that the Wavelets have hit on a rich vein of form at just the right moment — with four matches still to be contested, they are on a five-match unbeaten streak that has taken them to the heady heights of fourth in group eight, just five points behind Esportivan neighbours Tumbra, who occupy second place in the group, and a solitary point behind third-placed Zenic. With third place the minimum requirement to contend for a spot in the expanded forty-eight team finals, Riena may well find themselves in the conversation for qualification if they can maintain their form — a state of affairs no one would have thought possible after the painful 4-0 thumping they suffered at the hands of Tumbra on matchday one.

As has been the case for most of their matches in this campaign, Riena came into the match against Baker Park as serious underdogs. After a rather underwhelming start to their qualifying campaign, Will Barnard's Bees had taken group eight by storm, at one point racking up a frankly incredible nine consecutive victories to put clear daylight between themselves and the rest of the pack. Although their momentum had been brought to a juddering halt by Tumbra, the Black Eagles securing a 1-0 victory at home, there could be no doubt that the Bees were still heavy favourites against Riena, especially considering that the Wavelets' heaviest defeat under Cocoa Haneda had come against these same opponents. Speaking to journalists before the match, Haneda was her usual circumspect self: "It goes without saying that Baker Park are a great team, you don't go and get nine wins in a row if you don't have some serious quality in your ranks, and obviously we've all seen that first hand at the Wavelet Arena. We collectively performed well below the standards we set for ourselves that day, and I know that the players are raring to go out there and set the record straight. We'll go out there and play our best football, and let's see where we are after the ninety minutes are up."

Perhaps electing to keep their powder dry for more difficult challenges in the days ahead, Bees manager Barnard sent out a heavily-rotated team at Prince William Stadium, making wholesale changes from the starting XI that lost at Tumbra on the previous matchday and giving his fringe players the chance to impress. Consequently, during the opening stages of this game, the Bees looked a far cry from the all-conquering juggernaut they had been in the first half of qualifying, particularly in attack, where they struggled to find the sort of fluency that had led them to thirty-one goals in the past twelve matches. This was in stark contrast to Riena — having chopped and changed regularly during her first few matches as Riena manager, Haneda has managed to identify her preferred starting XI, and in Newmarket, she made just three changes from Riena's win against Delitai, all of them with load management in mind. It was perhaps not much of a surprise, then, that Riena began the match with the characteristic energy, fluidity, and slick interplay that has become the hallmarks of Haneda's reign.

But despite their relatively sluggish start, it was the Bees who managed to fashion the first presentable chances of the evening. Shaheen Cohen-Abdullah, playing in the hole, split the Riena defence right down the middle with an exquisite through ball for Erika Riley, and Miku Suzutsuki had to scramble to turn the Baker Park forward's fierce shot around the post. The defender Renee McKenzie came close to opening the scoring for the hosts from the resulting corner, and it was only thanks to Saori Skamandros, who was in the right place at the right time to block her goalbound header, that Riena escaped unscathed. To their credit, though, the Wavelets did not let this early scare stop them from playing their usual brand of football. Haneda's side remained competitive against their more illustrious opponents throughout the game, fighting tooth and nail for every ball, and their endeavour was rewarded halfway through the second half with a perfectly-executed counterattack that was initiated and finished by Emiri Nekoda. It was the forward who got her head onto a Baker Park corner to clear the danger, and as the ball was swiftly moved upfield, Nekoda showed the desire and hunger that characterises this Riena team, running the length of the entire pitch and arriving in the Baker Park penalty area just in time to smash Meruto Mercerian's cutback past a shellshocked Geoff Cotterill. Baker Park manager Barnard tried to swing the game back in his side's favour with a couple of substitutions immediately following Nekoda's goal, bringing on fresh legs in attack in the form of Chris Sonjini and Terrell London, but Haneda responded with her own tactical tweaks to make Riena more secure in the middle of the park, and in the end the Wavelets were able to see out a famous victory with a minimum of fuss.

Riena captain Ichika Kirikaze was obviously delighted by the result. "Yeah, it's fair to say that we're all happy with the collective performance, and of course the most important thing is that we got the three points against a very tough opponent. Personally, I'm overjoyed that we're wrapping up this international window with such a statement result, but we're already looking forward to the next one. I'm sure that Adab and United Hawkland will also be difficult opponents in their own way, but the hope is that if we continue to play like we have in our last few matches, we'll be able to keep our momentum going into the last couple of matchdays of qualifying." For her part, the match winner Nekoda was satisfied by her individual performance, and also had words of praise for her teammates: "I'm happy that I got to score the winning goal, of course. I just gave it my all out there, like Cocoa always asks us to do, and I'm thankful that my effort bore fruit. But obviously this is a team sport, and we couldn't have gotten such an important win if the rest of the girls hadn't also put in the hard yards and played their hearts out. Credit to them — this was a result that we achieved together, and I hope that we'll enjoy many more wins together as a team."

The next international window sees Riena go up against Adab at the Wavelet Arena in Nagato before travelling to Anaia to play United Hawkland. The Wavelets of course fell to defeat against Adab last time out, the fourth seed of the group scraping a win by the odd goal of five in an end-to-end match at the Adab City Stadium, and with home advantage in their favour this time around, Haneda will be hoping that Riena will have enough about themselves to inflict sweet revenge for their earlier defeat by seeing off the Adabian challenge. United Hawkland, meanwhile, had threatened briefly to contend for qualification during the first half of the campaign, but have slowly fallen away as the campaign has worn on — despite that, the Wavelets were slightly fortunate to emerge with a 2-1 victory in the reverse fixture, and the hundred-and-first ranked team in the multiverse may well prove to be a more formidable opponent in their own backyard. As always, Haneda and her charges will approach this latest set of matches as they always have — focused and single-minded, taking every match as they come, but as we head into the last two international windows of this qualifying campaign, where everything is at stake for the teams fighting it out for a place in the finals, one thing is for sure — Riena will need to be completely and utterly laser-focused on the task at hand if they are to stand a chance of heading to either Eastfield Lodge or Pasarga.

---

Commonwealth of Baker Park (3-4-1-2): Cotterill; Andrews, Lohmeyer, McKenzie; Martini, Ryan, Kirby, Prince; Cohen-Abdullah; Hardison, Riley
Substitutes: Duffy, Morris, Schulman, Flannigan, Garfield (69'), Morgan (73'), S. Logan, Khan, Sonjini (75'), London (75')

Riena (4-3-3): Suzutsuki; Kisaragi, Skamandros, Shikimori, Sangomiya; Kirikaze, Nakiri, Nagara; Mercerian, Nekoda, Waraku
Substitutes: Kamikata, Hakura (64'), Ishikari, Mihane (85'), Orihime (77'), Frostfield, Kazamaki (85'), Shirasu, Yuzuriha (77'), Shishido

---

Related stories

• Football — WCQ97: Qualification permutations for Riena: how can the Wavelets qualify for the World Cup finals?
• Football — WCQ97: "Absolutely first-class": Cocoa Haneda lavishes her players with praise after hard-fought Baker Park victory
• Football — Onto a good thing: How the RFA headhunted Cocoa Haneda for the most coveted job in Riennese football
• Football — Rin Kannazuki's position at Utakata Suisei said to be under serious threat after poor league campaign
• Football — Riena Midnight League clubs yet to be finalised, say league officials

---

[Eastfield Lodge]

MD15 and 16 cutoffs for Groups 1-8

[Siovanija and Teusland]

(OOC: What follows is an account of the invasion through the eyes of 2 soldiers in the Siovanija & Teusland military. For a more official account, see the following wiki page: here! It should also offer a summary of the story so far. Feel free to edit with the response of your nation to the events.)

Oil & Ice

Volume VIX
The Jump

Somewhere over Sankt Konrad, S-Day 0600

Corporal Jonas Kannar sat still in the transport plane, flying high above the ocean around Sankt Konrad. Many of his colleagues were preparing their weapons, painting faces, but some, like Jonas, were simply sitting there quietly.

“Over the island. Two minutes to drop,” called out the captain. Jonas looked out the window. He could just make out the town of Wilhelmstadt. Once a sleepy fishing village, now about to face a defining moment in its history. Another look down at the city, and Jonas could make out the fire still burning in the city’s port.

It had been just about 2.5 hours since the air force squadron returned to the aircraft carrier URS Monchengau with a “total success” recorded. The port strike had hit at exactly the perfect timing, and all 6 boats of the Sankt Konrad Coast Guard had taken direct hits from the air force. It wasn’t really a challenging exercise, given that Sankt Konrad did not really have a military of its own, but it was the necessary clearance for the rest of the mission to begin.

“Thirty seconds, paratroopers, everybody prepare yourselves.”

The squad got up into line, everybody double-checking their parachute was in working order and clinging hard to their rifle. Jonas was a military man, he’d been in the parachute division for just about 4 years and had served a total of 8 - but he’d never made a real combat jump before. He was one of the last in line, as the men and women of the 35th Parachute Battalion went out of the plane one by one. The calls came: “One ready! Two ready!” all the way back to Jonas as “Eleven ready!” By the time Jonas was in the air, he could see below him dozens and dozens of parachutes in the sky. He’d trained for this, over and over, but now it was the real thing.

By the time he got onto the ground, his trained instincts had taken over: get to the rendezvous point, carry out the mission. The paratroopers had all been dropped in relatively the same area, and luckily the geography of Sankt Konrad was very helpful to their mission. No tree cover, no major urban areas - just open fields of rock and grass. Jonas could already see half of his squad from the moment he landed.

It took about 20 minutes, but the entirety of Jonas’ company assembled at the correct location - a hill overlooking the National Ring Road, about halfway between the settlements of Deatnu and Sankt Leopold. There was almost no traffic on the highway - the government advising those who could to stay in their homes, and warning of the ‘final battle’ approaching. ‘All able-bodied Albmot men’ were to report to Wilhelmstadt, supposedly. Jonas’ group headed towards the ring road and followed it south, a journey of about 5 kilometres. They marched down the road, singing old marching songs and soon enough they were at the outskirts of Sankt Leopold.

The town was about 75% Teus and 25% Albmot, and was home to the military base on the island operated by Siovanija & Teusland. Troops were rotated in and out of this base, which was ostensibly responsible for the protection of Sankt Konrad. Since the rise of the Blue Sun, however, the troops were not even allowed to leave the base on recreational leave. As the company passed down the streets of Sankt Leopold, many residents came out of their apartments to observe the situation. The Teus community received the soldiers with smiles, the Albmot was a bit more of a mix - some were glad that the Blue Sun would be destroyed, but some were clearly not thrilled.

About two hours after landing, the paratroopers reached the outside of the military base on Sankt Leopold, and linked up with the troops inside, who were quite relieved to see those from the outside world after over a year locked in the base. With Sankt Leopold officially the first city on the island free from the Blue Sun, the paratroopers and the troops in the base boarded trucks and moved out for the next phase of the operation.

5km north of Wilhelmstadt, S-Day 0900

Captain Dominik Muller and his marines had been ashore on Sankt Konrad for about three hours now, and so far things had gone quite smoothly. S-Day, referring to the name of the operation (Sonnenfinsternis) was proceeding as planned. There were three beaches picked out for the landing - all named for colours, Blau, Gelb and Rot. Muller and his company had landed on Beach Gelb, and as expected faced no resistance. They were able to unload every landing craft as well as prepare all of their supplies, and established a forward communications base in a tent on the beach.

The only engagement with any locals until that point was an elderly couple out for a walk on the beach by 7am. They had been stopped, and briefly questioned, but Muller knew there was nothing malicious here. He spoke to the couple, and encouraged them to go back home and wait to hear further information once the operation was completed. They did so with little to no trouble, perhaps wondering how they could possibly have accidentally stumbled upon the army.

Now, by 9am, three hours after landing, everything had been perfectly set up on Beach Gelb, and Captain Muller ordered his units to proceed north to the National Ring Road. Radio had confirmed that the paratroopers had already captured the town of Sankt Leopold, and were now proceeding across the island towards Wilhelmstadt. The marines now needed to seize their objective as well.

A few cars could be heard in the distance, speeding away from the capital city and trying to avoid the worst case scenario in case there was any combat in the city. There were two exits from the ring road into the capital - the corps of marines that had landed on Beach Blau was responsible for the one at the east end of the capital, while Muller was in charge of the exit to the city’s north. Taking control of the highway was a simple matter of blocking it off, and placing signs indicating that the road was closed. Not exactly the thing most of the company had trained for, but they much preferred it to seeing any action today.

About an hour after the roadblock was set up, the troops noticed a group of Sankt Konrad Police Force members coming up the road from the capital. This was it, thought Muller. He ordered the squad to get into positions and prepare to defend the highway.

Soon, however, they noticed that the group was carrying a large white flag. Muller and two of his staffers walked out to greet them.

“Good morning, we are from the Sankt Konrad Police Force and we intend to surrender to your ranking officer.”

“That would be me,” replied Muller. “You’re wishing to surrender?”

“Correct. We serve the Police Force, but we are also part of the resistance against the Blue Sun. There are about 350 of us who wish to surrender across the island.”

“Murder innocent civilians and then surrender when about to face justice. Some deal,” said Cpl. Bauer, one of the staffers. Muller shot him a glare. The police were certainly not well-regarded amongst the Teus landing on Sankt Konrad. While many of the soldiers here wanted to get in and get out, some others were disgusted by the actions taken by the Blue Sun and wanted revenge.

The police captain grimaced and nodded. “I understand. All of the officers involved are prepared to face trial following the restoration of democracy, and that event is what led to the 350 of us surrendering in the first place. We will not kill for Valljas Bancu.”

The Corporal sarcastically laughed. “Well, I’ll tell that to the 11 protestors, they’ll be glad to hear it!”

Muller sternly looked at the soldier, before cutting him off. “We accept your surrender. Now, who is left defending the island?”

“The Blue Sun. In Wilhelmstadt you will only find their most fanatical followers currently preparing to defend the city. Even the police who are not surrendering have stood down. Nobody else wants to die for Valljas Bancu.”

“What about at Divtasvuodno Prison?”

“I’m not sure - Bancu called everyone back to defend the capital after the bombings this morning. We didn’t see them in Wilhelmstadt. Possible they are still there, or that they deserted.”

Muller nodded. “Well, we can certainly use your assistance. My colleagues here will escort you to our base camp, and we’ll figure out a spot for you, if you’re willing.”

“Certainly. Do you have many native Albmot speakers among you? We can spread the message around to our people to stay inside and keep safe.”

The policemen headed off to the base camp alongside some of the marines, while Muller returned to his post at the highway. Now, it was a waiting game - once the paratroopers and the soldiers in Divtasvuodno had reached this point, the assault on Wilhelmstadt would begin.

Divtasvuodno Prison, S-Day 1200

Jonas Kannar sat ready in the back of the truck, watching the road between Sankt Leopold and Divtasvuodno pass out the back. The truck had traveled through the city of Divtasvuodno, where the streets were totally empty - no citizens wanted to get involved in this conflict.

The trucks pulled up to the prison in the distance. Everybody knew the mission ahead - it was going to be quick and simple, surround the prison, blow the walls, get in, extract, get out.

“35th, is everyone prepared?” said the captain as the trucks stopped. “No element of surprise this time, expect hostile contact as soon as we close in on the prison.”

The paratroopers gave the traditional Teus battle cry, and stormed out of the trucks and rushed up the hill. Jonas clutched his rifle carefully - he’d trained his whole life for moments like this one, and knew how careful this mission was going to be. The police guarding the prison were said to be the finest in Sankt Konrad, Valljas Bancu’s most loyal troops. There was some talk, based on a radio message they’d received from the Marine units who’d landed that morning, that the guards perhaps had surrendered or deserted. Jonas and the troops, however, were prepared for battle.

They reached the perimeter of the prison without seeing any human presence around, even on the guard towers. ‘A’ Company moved into position and put a charge on the wall, blowing it and creating a hole through which the paratroopers moved in, ready for combat.

There was nobody to meet them. The prison seemed to be totally empty, as Jonas and the rest of ‘A’ Company cleared out the courtyard. They were ready now to enter the actual prison complex, but Jonas’ mind was unsure what they would find. The guards surely couldn’t have deserted, right? Had they holed up for a last stand inside? Worse thoughts started to come across Jonas’ mind: were the prisoners even still alive?

When the door was burst open, and the soldiers stormed in, however, there was again nobody to greet them. The overwhelming feeling was confusion. They’d been briefed that this would be the hardest mission of them all, and yet there was nothing. Suddenly, they heard yelling - in Teus. Jonas and his team rushed down the hallways, finally finding the source of the yelling.

“There they are!” yelled Hannes Eichel. “Over here boys!”

The Sankt Konrad 5 prisoners were still in their cells, banging on the walls of the prison to try to attract the soldiers.

“When we heard the blast, we knew it was the Teus!” said Hannes.

“We just hoped you weren’t bombing the place!” yelled one of the crew from the back.

Jonas smiled as he opened the gate. “Don’t worry boys, you’ll be back in Felsenkirchen soon.”

The company’s commander, Captain Fahr, spoke up. “What happened to the units guarding this place?”

Hannes nodded. “At 4am, they came down into the prison. Told us that it was the explicit order of Valljas Bancu that, after the coast guard got blown up, we should be executed. They said that didn’t sit right with them - they didn’t spend their whole lives protecting their people just to commit such crimes. Instead, they were going home. They offered to let us go, but we thought staying here and waiting for you would be best. Left us their pistols, in case the Blue Sun found us first, and wished us all the best.”

There was a bit of a pause, the uncomfortable thought of ‘what if they had obeyed that order’ sitting with everyone in the room. It was only a stroke of luck, that the guards had been good men, that the Sankt Konrad 5 were still alive. What of the Teus civilians in Wilhelmstadt? The prisoners had been rescued, but Valljas Bancu still sat in Wilhelmstadt. Captain Fahr broke the silence.

“A Company, take these men back to Sankt Leopold. Helis are waiting for the extraction. You did good today, ladies and gents. B and C Companies, proceed to rendezvous at Wilhelmstadt”

Jonas and his comrades helped the prisoners back to the trucks - fed them their first good meal in a while, let them breathe in fresh air - and then sped back to Sankt Leopold. Jonas’s fight on Sankt Konrad was over, mission achieved. He hadn’t even had to fire a bullet.

The fight for the island, however, was not finished yet.

Outskirts of Wilhelmstadt, S-Day 1430

Captain Dominik Muller and his men entered the northern outskirts of the capital city of Wilhelmstadt around 2:30pm. Since they had established a roadblock on the Ring Road, many things had changed to the situation.

First, Divtasvuodno Prison had been captured without so much as a shot being fired.

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, the resistance on Sankt Konrad had risen up. The leader of the Sankt Konrad Socialist Party, Silvu Otto, had declared in a radio broadcast that “Valljas Bancu has put our country into peril, and is no longer fit to serve as leader. I declare today that, upon dissolution of the parliament, the SKSP and the Conservatives will enter a national coalition to restore unity and save our nation. I call on all Sankt Konraders to support the Teus military and restore democracy to our island.”

It was known at the highest levels that there was an active resistance on the island, and this had factored into the planning. As soon as Otto’s message went out over radio, many government officials showed up at the Teus military HQ set up close to the highway to offer their services. These included former police officers, government employees, people from all walks of life who wanted to save their country and get rid of Valljas Bancu. Amongst them was Valter Sahkar - Cpt. Muller didn’t know it, but he was the man who had given the idea to Josef Wimmer in the first place.

“Captain, the thing about Valljas Bancu is, he’s a true believer. He truly believes that his followers are going to win this battle, no matter how stacked against him the odds are. But if he does start losing… there’s a significant risk to the Teus population of Wilhelmstadt.”

“How are the defences in the city?”

“Starting almost immediately after the bombing in the port, the Blue Sun fanatics started moving cars and buses and anything they could find to barricade the government district. Probably you’ll have anywhere from 500-1000 of his followers ready to hold it out.”

“We want Bancu alive. Would he join the fight? Is he a suicide risk?”

“I’m no psychologist, Captain. But Bancu isn’t the type to pick up a gun himself, that’s for sure. And I believe Bancu would sooner try to escape the island than kill himself.”

Muller nodded. Now, he turned back to his men, who were gearing up and preparing to move out.

“Men of the 23rd Marine Infantry Division,” he began. “Wilhelmstadt lies before us.” There was a roar from the men, who were eager to complete the mission.

“We are about to enter the first real battle this military has faced in over 100 years. The eyes of the world are on you. The eyes of your country are on you. They expect you to be Teus soldiers. Composed under fire. Ready to aid your comrades who need assistance. Respectful to the civilian population, and willing to protect them with your lives. Fierce in the face of the enemy. And in the end, victorious.”

The men gave another cheer. “The only ones left defending the city are the most fanatical of Valljas Bancu’s Blue Sun. We have seen today that the choice of the overwhelming majority of this island - the choice of the police, of the guards at Divtasvuodno Prison - has been peace and freedom. Those who have chosen to defend Bancu, have chosen to die for him.”

“For Peter Eichel. For the civilians killed in this city just 36 hours ago. For the Teus who have been living in fear of expulsion or murder. For the Albmot who have had their peaceful, democratic island upended by this foul despot. They are who we fight for. The objective is simple - eliminate the defenders of the city, and take Valljas Bancu alive. Move out!”

The battle cry rang even louder, and the soldiers assembled into their groups. Muller’s troops, rather ironically, were moving down the Stelburgstrasse towards the city centre. The 23rd Division had the task of clearing the northern and the eastern suburbs, and the paratroopers would come in from the south. So far, at least in the northern sector, there was no enemy activity - a few civilians coming out of their houses to offer praise, or food, but overall, nothing was stopping them en route to the government district. Finally, after a careful clearance of the northern suburbs, they came in site with the Government House and the square around it.

No sooner had the cry of ‘Objective, 500m’ gone up than the first shot had rung out.

“Contact! Enemy, straight ahead!”

Muller’s troops scattered around the buildings, or dropped to the ground as quickly as possible. While the Blue Sun militia was untrained, and lacked in both number of men and weapons to the Teus, they had the advantage of being dug in - the Teus, for all their discipline, had very few locations to take cover. For much longer than they had hoped, the Teus were being pinned down by the small arms fire.

Muller’s division continued to lay down fire onto the Blue Sun positions, and set up a machine gun post where the Stelburgstrasse met the square. This was, however, a stalemate: there was no advance possible for the Teus into what would be completely open ground. With the Teus holding the superiority in number and ammunition, they were happy to hold out until the paratroopers arrived from the south.

Radio indicated that the paratroopers had made contact with the enemy earlier than anyone else, in the southern suburbs, and had sustained a number of wounded. The southern suburbs was where most of the Teus population of the city lived - there could be no doubt why Bancu was sending his loyalists there, at this hour. The paratroopers had showed up just in time, but the fiercest fighting yet had awaited them as they fought house to house. Their advance was slowed - but proceeded on, and when they arrived at the scene of the battle a loud cheer rang up within the Teus ranks - the momentum was firmly on their side. The paras quickly got their own machine gun set up, and started laying down suppressing fire. The defenders were coming down to their last now, it seemed - many must’ve been killed in the initial firefight, and it would be impossible to hold up for much longer. These weren’t trained professional soldiers - they were men perhaps only now realizing they were throwing away their lives for nothing. Their mental resilience would break before the physical barriers. Over radio, the battle plan was made: the paratroopers would give sustained covering fire, and Muller’s troops would advance.

Just as Muller’s troops advanced into the square, and reached the line of Blue Sun defences, a loud cry went up now from the defenders.

The radio message went down from the reconnaissance team perched on one of the buildings around the squad: “Valljas Bancu has left the Government House and seems to be fighting with the defenders,”

Muller heard the message, but he didn’t believe it. It didn’t fit the profile. He radio’d again to check if there was real visual confirmation that it was Bancu, and not simply another officer.

“Nope, it’s him alright. He’s gathered 5-10 men, though, and they’re heading down the street next to the defences. Maybe leading them around for an ambush on the paras?”

Muller grabbed instantly for the map. The road heading west did not, in fact, loop around - it led down to the city’s port.

“No ambush - he’s trying to escape. Give me the exact number of men he has” radio’d Muller.

“Looks like 6 are with him,”

Muller put the radio down, and looked to his left. “Ehrenfeld, Moser, follow me!”

The men of the 23rd had practically cleared the square at this point, and were forcing the final group of Blue Sun back almost into the Government House itself, which was now riddled with bullets. Muller and his comrades stormed through the square, and broke down the door of the small office complex next to the Government House.

Muller led them upstairs to the third floor, which from his studies of each building in the government district had a large balcony with a staircase backing down to the Hafenstrasse along the port. The three men sped across the floor and went onto the balcony, where they immediately saw Valljas Bancu and his men rushing into the port. Ehrenfeld and Moser opened fire, forcing the party to turn around and engage or risk their Isit being caught in the fire.

Muller scanned the port. To the south was where the Coast Guard ships had been, presumably - the scent of smoke was still in the air, and it looked pretty much deserted. There was only one boat in the harbour - a mid-sized fishing boat. It had to be the getaway vehicle for the Blue Sun leader. The dock Bancu and his men were on was the quickest way to get to it - but there looked to be another dock just to the south with the harbour master’s building. Its roof leaned over the harbour, a clear path to the fishing boat. Was that jump possible? Muller didn’t have much time to think.

Instead, he acted. He rushed down the stairs as Ehrenfeld and Moser continued to shoot at the Blue Sun men - who were reduced now to just Bancu and 2 others. Muller sprinted across the street avoiding the sight of Valljas Bancu and his party, and quickly pulled his climbing rope out of his pack. Scaling the building, he crawled across the roof for a better view of the port.

Both of the remaining defenders of Bancu had been killed - now, the Sankt Konrad leader was alone, sprinting towards the boat. As he got in and fired up the engine, Captain Muller got up and moved as far back on the roof as possible. Giving himself a running start, he made the jump.

Time seemed to slow around him, but the captain had timed it perfectly - he landed directly on the back of the boat, just behind Valljas Bancu. The dictator turned around, and began to draw at his sidearm - but Muller’s reflexes were quicker, and he had lunged onto Bancu before he could. There was a bit of a struggle between them - Bancu was a big, strong man, after all. But Muller came out on top. Just as Valljas Bancu was handcuffed, and dragged off the boat, Ehrenfeld and Moser caught up.

“Captain? Did you really jump that?”

There was a slight pause, before all 3 men burst out laughing. Finally some levity, after a long day. Valljas Bancu, meanwhile, remained silent. Ehrenfeld radio’d in to HQ:

“We’ve apprehended Bancu. Captain Muller is a movie star!”

The reply brought joy again to the group: “Excellent work. The remaining defenders have been eliminated at the Government House. The operation is a success.”

Valljas Bancu remained silent the entire walk back to the main square, and, reportedly, the entire drive to Divtasvuodno Prison after it.

Things were a bit chaotic in the government district that evening. A radio broadcast was made declaring the end of hostilities, and the arrest of the Blue Sun leadership. The new Prime Minister, Silvu Otto, made a broadcast to the nation. Teus soldiers went in and out of the Government House removing boxes and boxes of paperwork - the plans of Valljas Bancu’s government, to be taken back to Stelburg and hopefully used as evidence against him. The air force did a fly-by, to celebrate the victory - and para-dropped crates of fresh Felsenkirchener Brauhaus beer for the men. There was a quiet memorial for the 7 Teus soldiers, all paratroopers, who had been killed in the attack. President Gerd Steiner radio’d in to congratulate the troops, and civilians - particularly the Teus community who lived in the southern neighbourhoods of the city, where the paratroopers had fought a harsh battle to kick out the Blue Sun extremists - brought food and snacks to the tired soldiers.

Muller checked his watch - 8pm. 12 hours ago he was on a landing craft heading towards the beach, and now here he was, sitting around a campfire with his men, celebrating the victory. He was glad - glad that there were good people on Sankt Konrad to oppose Bancu, glad that the people of the island could now live in peace. Glad that the casualties on their side had been extremely limited - 5 KIA, 62 WIA. And overall, glad to go home.

As he looked out over the golden sun lowering beyond the ocean, Muller reflected on victory and tragedy. Mostly, he thanked every deity he could think of that he'd made it through to live another day.

Valentine Z 0-2 Siovanija & Teusland

XI: Holz; Schwefel (Wimmer 65'), Steinhausl (Breslau 65'), Rodl, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje, Rosberg; Vadimic (Korlikov 70'), A. Kosch-Kovarik, Burger
Goals: Aleksander Kosch-Kovarik 23', Jesper Porsche 49'
Man of the Match: Jesper Porsche (1G, 1A)

Siovanija & Teusland 23 man squad for international window 9
Draistadion, St. Jakob vs Abanhfleft; Away vs Cardenao

Goalkeepers: Holz, Bodeker, Kranz
Defenders: Schwefel, Metzger, Reichenbach, Gellner, Steinhausl, Rodl, Apel
Midfielders: Porsche, von Stein, Prekmurje, Winter, Rosberg, Le Meji
Wingers: Vadimic, Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Zschokke
Forwards: Burger, Hackl, Zak

Expected XI vs Abanhfleft: Bodeker; Metzger, Steinhausl, Rodl, Gellner; von Stein, Winter, Le Meji; Korlikov, Zschokke, Hackl
Expected XI vs Cardenao: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl, Rodl, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje, Rosberg; Vadimic, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Burger

[Banija]

The Kadongo Kamu send shockwaves through international football by thrashing The Holy Empire at home to put themselves on the brink of the World Cup

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Everybody agreed going into World Cup Qualifying- that this group, Group 17, was the group of death. Not a great sign for a team like Banija, who had struggled mightily the past two Qualification campaigns- who missed out on the last Finals entirely. You have two other former world champions in addition to Banija, by the names of Eura and The Holy Empire. You have Krytenia, one of the best to never win it. You have Darmen- a World Cup fixture. Two of whom were guaranteed to not even make the playoffs. Not the easiest task for George Wangolo as he takes the reigns of his home nation. Going into that group, with a Kadongo Kamu squad whose spirits were lower than ever.

Part of getting through a group of death, especially one as long as World Cup Qualifying, is knowing that there are going to be both high points and low points. "Sometimes, you are going to have to ride the wave in a group like this." George Wangolo told reporters. "You aren't going to always do what you want against every opponent- so many teams will have so many ways to beat you. You can't get discouraged by a bad result or a bad performance- and you have to trust your process. This is what we've been doing- and things have been playing out well." The beginning of the Wangolo reign was shaky. A couple of high scoring friendly losses, and then what one can certainly call a mixed bag in the first half of Qualifying. The low point coming, of course, when they lost 1-0 away, to a 7th place Macbon. A tough loss for a team who were heavy favorites.

But the response to that? Brilliant. Including this window, they've played 6 Qualifiers since then. The record- 16 points from a possible 18. And even beyond- Banija's attack has suddenly resorted to its emphatic self, scoring 23 goals across our last 6 matches. Yes, that's five wins and a singular draw, the draw coming against Eura. Yes, that's nearly 4 goals scored per game over that timespan. And yes, that includes beating the group's big boys- that set of matches includes emphatic wins against Krytenia and The Holy Empire, as well as a tight, gritty 1-0 home win against Darmen. We're about to dive into this window below, but think about that in the aggregate. Banija got through the first half of Qualifiers- and the second time through, both home and away, this team has taken a massive step forward. Wangolo's brand of attacking football is clicking, and that's why the Banijans find themselves one point away from a direct berth into the World Cup Finals- something we have not done since World Cup 94.

So, let's get into it, shall we? Let's go into Matchday 15, and take a look at Banija's trip to Srubnaya Culture...

Banija visit to Srubnaya Culture: 4-1 away win

Wangolo told reporters before the match that he was going to rotate his squad for this one, and he stuck to his guns. He had emphasized that "you're always going to need the full 23 to qualify for the World Cup Finals", and that pretending otherwise was a fool's errand. Of course, considering how close the table was, that was risky. But most commentators, even beforehand, would have agreed it was the right decision. Half a week later, The Holy Empire were coming into Banija- you wanted your best XI to be fresh and healthy for that one. Which meant that the other half of the 23 needed to be prepared.

And of course, no disrespect- but the strength of the opponent allowed for it. Going into the match they had earned just 2 wins and a draw from 13 qualifiers played- returning only 7 points from the Qualifiers so far. Unranked. Banija heavy favorites. Considering how tight the group was going into the match, it was a match Banija absolutely had to have- and yet, they would rely on their depth to get them there. Fortunately for the Kadongo Kamu, the depth panned out. We were firing early and often. Fafa Maloo had a 14th minute header, and just 8 minutes later, Hongo's 22nd minute strike made it 2-0. The route was on- and it was completed with the team's emphatic 4-1 victory.

"What mattered was getting three points today- which we did." Said Aquila Hongo, who served as captain for the match since Son-Saka was being rested. "We've got a massive game next week, and damnit, we are going to have to be ready for it. Those gnomes have been excellent- unbeaten through 14 Qualifiers. We've got quite a task ahead of us if we want to separate ourselves in this group."

Banija home match against The Holy Empire: A 5-2 win

The anticipation in Busukuma was high- considering the recent history, the opponent, and the place in the campaign, this may have been Banija's most highly anticipated World Cup Qualifier in a number of cycles. But before we get into the match itself, let's talk about what was happening around Banija- it had a great effect on our campaign. On the previous MD, The Holy Empire took the screws to Darmen, earning a 5-2 victory at home. This clinched a berth for the Gnomes in the World Cup Finals, the first of two direct spots up for grabs here in Group 17. THE was well ahead of the pack, always going to win this group- so this is a result that helped us mightily. So heading into MD16, that left Darmen 6 points behind Banija- a huge advantage for us.

Beyond that though, our Qualifier was the last to be played in the day, due to time zone differences. Two big results for us, thanks to the struggles of our group rivals. While Darmen had a relatively easy win over the Cannaland Islands, both Eura and Krytenia dropped points against lesser opponents. Particularly, Eura had a 0-0 draw against the Natanians & Nosts, while Krytenia struggled to a 1-1 draw against an already eliminated Macbon. That left the top 6 in the live table, at kickoff, looking like this.

Ps Group 17                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 The Holy Empire                     14   10   4   0    37   11  +26    34     Q
 2 Banija                              13    9   3   2    33   19  +14    27
 3 Eura                                15    7   5   3    25   16   +9    26
 4 Darmen                              14    7   3   4    30   27   +3    24
 5 Krytenia                            14    5   5   4    21   22   −1    20
 6 Natanians and Nosts                 14    5   4   5    23   16   +7    19     E

Looking great for Banija. N&N eliminated, Krytenia mathematically no longer able to catch Banija. Guaranteed to not fall into third place since Eura couldn't keep the pressure on, this helped the Banijan strategy. No matter if they lost or drew against The Holy Empire, the Banijans would control their own destiny going into their final two matches against cellar dwellar teams- win both, and hello to the World Cup Finals.

But a win over The Holy Empire? Well, that would be emphatic for a number of reasons. One, a win would not only mean that the Banijans clinch at least a playoff berth(as Eura would no longer be able to catch them), but it would practically guarantee them a place in the Finals- they would need just a singular point in their next two Qualifiers to clinch a spot in the top two. And that is important- hard to say, but right now it does not look like the 3rd place team from Group 17 will be a top 7 3rd place team, which means they almost certainly will have to go to the Playoffs. So avoid those- Top two and you're in.

Not to mention what that would mean beyond that. The first signature win of the George Wangolo- an upset at home over The Holy Empire. How it would reverberate across international football- would a win over THE mean that the struggles of the last two cycles were an abberation? That Banija was truly back? Maybe not- but it might feel like it. Of course, that's all hypothetical. It's freaking The Holy Empire. There's a reason they are unbeaten so far in this cycle- 10 wins and 4 draws. Dominant going forward. Elite getting back. Good at everything. Even at an absolutely rocking Stadium of the Restoration, what was going to happen here?

Let's dive into the match. With those other results earlier, Banija threw caution into the wind. They knew a loss would not really be detrimental to the cause- so put bodies forward, get that signature win. Of course, that was a strategy that would leave them open significantly to the counter-attack- an area where the chaotic garden gnomes excel at, with their ability to move at ridiculous speeds. How do you counter that speed? Well, size. Not that the Banijans are partiucarly large- but they are larger than the garden gnomes. But that speed, and the pace on the ball, allowed them to score early. Son-Saka hit in a cross in the 7th minute, and using the spring-loaded boots, Gnarly flew into the air and powerfully headed it away.

The ball went to the captain, Gnostic, who simply carved up the defense with his wicked speed and dribbling ability. Basically going the length of the field, he chipped a diving Biran Jarju for the game's opening goal. He ran to the corner, where the away fans were, and used his boots to leap into the crowd- getting all the way into the 4th row, in the air. All 9 other outfield players soon joined him, and it took about 8 minutes to restart the match, as it took quite some time for the playing garden gnomes to be pulled out of the mass of garden gnomes. Also, with the Stadium of Restoration assigning three garden gnomes to a single seat, they were making a killing.

Honestly- one of the best solo goals we've ever seen. But the Banijans were not discouraged. "That was a hell of a goal, and quite a celebration." George Wangolo told reporters after the match. "But I told my players- stay the course. Stay strong, keep confident- and the goals will come." And boy, did they ever. Once they finally started playing again, the Banijans were able to maintain possesion- and deployed the use of tactical fouls to keep the garden gnomes from flying forward. Got quite a few of our players yellow cards- 7 different Banijans got yellows, but somehow, no reds. We'll take it.

It was Son-Saka who scored Banija's first goal. Another goal of the spectacular- from about 25 yards out, just curling it into the top corner. A world-class goal from a world-class player. Repeatable? Not really. But a beautiful one to watch- suddenly, it was 1-1. And the Banijans had life. Just four minutes later, Son-Saka would have his second of the match. Odongo Kagenda had whipped in a cross, but hit it over everybody towards the back post. Son-Saka gathered the ball, faked a cross to get a defender to jump, slid past him with the ball, and one on one with the keeper from a couple of yards out, he thumped it into the back of the net. Talk about a big game player- a crucial Qualifier, a brace against the top team in the group. 31 minutes in, the Banijans led 2-1.

Because of that early goal celebration, there was 9 minutes of first half stoppage time. And in the 8th minute of stoppage time, it would be our star striker, Jônn Wérséô, who would score to make it 3-1. A great passing display- putting together 22 straight passes, the final pass was to a wide open Jônn Wérséô on the 6 yard box, who was always going to score from that kind of position. The Stadium of the Restoration was rocking- 3-1 to the Banijans at halftime, the party was already on. But the first 10 minutes or so of the second half, the Banijans were defending desperately. It culminated into a penalty opportunity for The Holy Empire- Gnorimoschema was fouled in the box after he had beaten Ssambwa on the dribble, and the penalty was given.

Fortunately for the Banijans, Jarju was all over it- penalty went to the keeper's left, Jarju was all over it, and it was still 3-1. It took the life out of the visitors- and just 4 minutes later, it was Aquila Hongo, coming off the bench, to make it 4-1, and basically end this nearly an hour in. The final score was 5-2 to the Banijans- this match was all Banija, all of the time. The celebrations were beautiful- fans and players alike, the kind of unity this NT, and its fanbase, have not felt in years. "It's been tough with this team, through our struggles." Layvin Son-Saka told reporters. "But atmospheres like these, crowds like these... Absolutely beautiful. We're on the brink of clinching a spot in Eastfield Lodge & Pasarga- let's get there boys!"

What a game and what. A. Win. If Banija get a single point against either The Cannaland Islands away, or Macbon at home, in their last two qualifiers, they are through to the World Cup via direct qualification- the first time we've done that since World Cup 94. And failing that, Darmen dropping points in either of its last two matches would put us there too. And even if that happens- they would need to make up our +14 advantage we have on the applicable tiebreaker, which would be goal difference. All of that means Analytics have us with an 94% chance of qualify for the Finals directly.

"This game is a huge win for Banija- but these are the wins that must be stacked." George Wangolo told reporters. "Our goals are directly in front of us- we have one more step to take, and damnit, we intend to take it." Banija's first chance to clinch a spot at the World Cup Finals will be a trip to The Cannaland Islands, for an early afternoon battle with a spot in the World Cup on the line. Can we take care of business? Or will we leave it with everything to play for at home, against Macbon, on the final day of World Cup Qualifying?

Find out soon. But know this- Banija has taken its step forward, and this team is ready to reclaim the legacy of its forefathers.

Qualifying Goal Count Tracker
Goals against Srubnaya Culture(A)
Fafa Maloo(14')
Aquila Hongo(22')
Alanso Kambi(45+1')
Sabiti Yikala(84')

Goals against The Holy Empire(H)
Layvin Son-Saka(27', 31')
Jônn Wérséô(45+8')
Aquila Hongo(59')
Kutaaka Muteesa(87')

Total Goal Count Tracker
Layvin Son-Saka - 6
Jônn Wérséô - 6
Odongo Kagenda - 5
Yob Yeyeh Aan - 2
Yob Banda - 2
Alanso Kambi - 3
Sabiti Yikala - 3
Zaharija Zdjelar-Siwangeh - 1
Muhangi Wentibwa - 1
Araba Fanja - 1
Opio Ssambwa - 1
Fafa Maloo - 1
Aquila Hongo - 1

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 2–2 Bears Armed
(Canchon 22', Schmidt 90+3' | Bruin 43', O Hara 75') 
Estadio da Esperança, Rigente, HUElavia

Drawkland 2–4 HUElavia
(Butler 32', Collingwood 55' | Uchee 5', 45', Canchon 48', Dias 90+2')

WE GOT (And Need) SOME HEROES

HUElavia salvage crucial points to cling on to life on the Final Matchday with much help needed in order to aspire to make the World Cup!

With HUElavia still on essentially life support, the National Team came into the more difficult matches remaining needing to go all out in order to push for a chance to make it to World Cup 97. Coach Casillas had already shown resilience with his first two matches under the helm as Manager, but still had to work against leaders Bears Armed and direct rivals Drawkland with a need for points in order to stay alive. The A-Team was all out in full force as the team had been very underwhelming throughout the campaign, but was now seeming to click something in place. With their backs against the wall, much like a cornered animal, the team came out looking for points.

The first match was a strong affair, with both teams going out not only on attacks, but fouls as well, as it was the Bears against the Jaguars in Rigente. The opening goal came in the 22nd minute, when De La Cruz was fouled by Mead (which led to a Yellow Card), where Canchon stepped up and sent the ball over the wall and blasting into the corner of the goal, to make it 1-0, with the HUElavian crowd erupting in joy and passion while Canchon celebrated with a dance with her teammates. In the 43rd minute, a corner taken by Sarrndale went into the box, headed out by Alvarez, before a blistering shot right outside the box left Lobo flat-footed as the ball rolled low into the goal, making it 1-1, silencing the crowd right by halftime. Fouls were still a aplenty with more players getting yellow carded and free kicks being taken around. A free kick was taken by Redbank, where it went into the box, and in a tangle between Oe and O Hara, the ball touched O Hara to roll past the fingertips of Lobo into the goal, making it 1-2 to silence the HUElavians. Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos went on the attack and threw players forward in hopes to continue their World Cup hopes. In the 90+3rd minute, a cross by Oh was sent into the box, where Schmidt just somehow was left unopposed and got the ball to slot it past Ulgha into the goal, making it 2-2 and the crowd erupting in delirium at joy for the goal and began to chant in excitement. Minutes later the match had ended, and while HUElavia survived by the skin of their teeth, they still needed results to keep marching.

The second match at Drawkland was one of the highlighted matches of all the qualifiers due to the histories between these two. HUElavia wanted to return the favor from the first leg and silence the hostile Drawkian crowd. In the 5th minute, a pass by Nascimento reached Uchee, who ran one-on-one against Reed to slot it past between the goalie's legs into the goal to make it 0-1, resulting in jeers and whistles from the Drawkians. In the 32nd minute, a pass by Fields would get past Lobo, which would reach Butler, who took a curving shot past the reach of Lobo to hit the post into the goal, sending the Drawkians in joy for the equalizer. In the 45th minute, a corner taken by De La Cruz went into the box, where Uchee towered over Arrowsword to head the ball past Reed into the goal, making it 1-2 with the Drawkian crowd jeering but the HUElavians were hellbent on going for a statement victory. In the 48th minute, a pass from Schmidt (in for Taylor-Calañas) reached Canchon, who took a curving shot to blast past a diving Reed into the goal, to make it 1-3, silencing the crowd as the HUElavians had joy for the lead. In the 55th minute, a corner was taken by Cross went into the box, where Collingwood towered over Di Laura to head the ball into the goal, making it 2-3, giving life to the Drawkians and the crowd. Despite attacks from the Drawkians, the HUElavians stood firm and eventually in the 90+2nd minute, a counterattack saw a pass from Oe get to Milano (in for De La Cruz), who sent a pass in to the box, with Dias (in for Oh) being left alone to slot it past Reed into the goal, making it the definitive 2-4, silencing the crowd while the bench came out to celebrate the goal and victory.

With that, HUElavia enters the final qualifiers window into Matchday 17 and 18 having an outside chance to make the World Cup, or at least the Playoffs. The lone route that will give HUElavia a chance at making the World Cup is to beat Vaishnavaria at home at Toin, and hope that both Drawkland and Qasden do not win a match in their final two matchdays. Ideally, if HUElavia wins and both Drawkland and Qasden lose their matches, HUElaiva will be in 3rd place, but if they draw their matches with HUElavia winning, it becomes more complicated, especially in a tiebreaker against Drawkland. HUElavia not winning over Vaishnavaria OR Drawkland or Qasden getting a single win in these windows will eliminate Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos out of contention. Coach Casillas was quoted as saying "We've salvaged a lot with these few matches, but it's still not an ideal situation. A team of our caliber should not be having to depend on other results for us to advance. Yet, here we are. and we need to give it our all over Vaishnavaria, and just hope and pray for the best." Matchday 17 will have live scores around the grounds and depending on how the matchday shakes out, Matchday 18 will have a simultaneous broadcast of Drawkland and Qasden's matches to see if HUElavia can have any hope for World Cup action. Some fans have taken to social media to vent their anxieties and frustrations, with one notable fan saying "We are so cooked. We are so finished. Owari da." Either way, do you believe in miracles? Cause that's what we need at this point.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Brusseldorf]

[Jeruselem]

World cup qualification match day, after Jeruselem beat visiting The Martian Independent Republic 5-3.
Princess Stella Annabelle Dallas with her daughter Princess Alice ...

Stella: I see our regular World Cup cheerleaders are back at work
Alice: That's OK, I got an upgrade!
Stella: How did you end up singing the national anthem?
Alice: The scheduled singer had the flu and the backup was on holidays
Stella: Surely they could find someone who could sing the national anthem
Alice: Apparently they found out I did it for my school officially so they grabbed me ...

Stella: Well, your singing ability didn't come from me ...
Alice: Dad said his Mum used to be a backing singer in her younger days
Stella: Well I got no musical ability, I got nothing to with it
Alice: Funny grandma's singing is a lot better than you
Stella: She didn't pass those genes to me, although your aunt got them
Alice: Genetics are weird hey Mum

Stella: Well you got my looks
Alice: And being still rather short
Stella: Put up with that, that's a known family trait.
Alice: I don't think any of our family females are tall with not many exceptions
Stella: Although your aunt Mila is taller than me
Alice: Most people I know are taller than you, even grandma. So what we going to with the next world cup?

Stella: I guess we need someone else to travel with the team ... someone who doesn't have kids
Alice: So someone who isn't a Mum
Stella: Jeruselem is known for having a lot of mothers, married or not. We have a lot single mums out there
Alice: Sounds like our family, err I guess we're bad offenders when it comes to kids
Stella: Well, we shouldn't complain about that or else we wouldn't be here
Alice: We're all happy accidents! Well, most of us. Some people shouldn't really have been born at all.

Stella: Say ... did you create a TikTok account recently?
Alice: No, why?
Stella: Sounds like someone is impersonating you then
Alice: Not again, I'll have to sort that out
Stella: Well someone tried to impersonate on TikTok me as well but our lawyers sorted them out
Alice: You mean you sent around the police to arrest them?

Stella: Yes well, it's technically illegal in Jeruselem.
Alice: Well, I'll see what I can do.
Stella: There's also an account for your sister
Alice: Great, I'll deal with that one too. She doesn't use TIkTok
Stella: We could threaten to block it in Jeruselem. We are the royal family here.
Alice: I don't threaten, I'll get it blocked if I'm motivated enough

[Panay Islands and Guimaras]

---

NECK-AND-NECK AT HOME
Paulino Alcántara Stadium, Federal Canton

The fans were flooding the whole stadium with cheers, trumpets, drums, and songs. There might be a little bit of the Vdarans here to cheer for their team. The first half is met with chaotic defending and goalscoring attempts were made by both sides. It was a neck-and-neck situation for the Panayenses. It was 0-0 for both teams. The neck-and-neck situation will continue in the second half where finally someone scored a goal, unfortunately for the Panayenses, a Vdaran goal in the 71st minute. Sevilla, Heo, and Del Castro made their mistakes on defending. And this led to Pierini saying that they need to work on more defending aside from their attacking brilliance. They would face their familiar rivals, the Mandarans and the Burikinians in hopes to qualify.

[Delte]

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Delte 4–1 Cardenao
Trainee Sports Correspondent Pola Bedeloe at Ildemorton Road for the Gangrene Mountain Hollah

---

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match but certainly mention should be made of the performance of football archives officer Dave Tankles, an interesting fellow with a long backstory that will undoubtedly be explored by RPO Studios one day, who has had to memorise all the scores of the multiverse on Mnemonical Tuesday, just over a week ago, when everything went dark due to a dreampower outage in the Holy Asylum Empire. Or something. He is working on typing them all up now which seems like an even more thankless task than my colleague Kit Samrodd, Sports Editor at TAX-magazine, who says he has to try to come up with new stuff to keep the SteuerLig sounding interesting on an almost daily basis, which he's getting a bit fed up with. Apparently.

Anyway.

Danny Mastorqa (2), Tai Tunnyo and Daniel Dight finished off Cardenao at Ildemorton Road to continue growing the winning streak record of the Representatives and ensuring the Delts are the highest scoring team in qualification so far - according to Dave Tankles at least.

At the same time, or maybe a few minutes before...

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Audioslavia 0-0 Delte
Citizen journalist and 'Green Hedge' travelling ultra Tyrell de Turqua in Cathair, Audioslavia for the Famous Askirk Bookshop Community Noticeboard

---

I've been all over the multiverse supporting The Reps and suffice it to say the Away Team Mission always gives you something to write home about, if only briefly.

In brief, we've been enjoying the statues of Audioslavia as any good Delt would, and wonder how many Audioslavs - if any - have studied at the Statue Makers School in Oswark-upon-Delte down the years. Following The Anorak’s Guide to Audioslavian Statues as we have, I should say not enough. Or if they have, they were mixing their studies with a little too much Pylon Fungus - a favourite local delicacy of delinquent students from the cow fields of the valley. Great fuel for the Ardkellen Music & Mud Festival but not ideal when you're making macquettes for the celebration of Saint Audius and the like.

By contrast there was literally nothing to write home about with regards the football, which was an outright victory for post-football Kontrapuntzeka, bringing to an end the Reps extended run of wins and high scoring feats with a loud and contemptuously damp flatulelle.

I heard that the home team completed the valley record of eleven consecutive victories in their high-scoring win over Cardenao.

...which is nice.

---

The Revenge of Patch-Ironing Robot #371
7/12 - Baggage

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The life of Deltic football kit influencer and ediraf Regional Sales Manager Raul Valk hangs in the balance as the Revenge of Patch Ironing Robot #371 reaches fulfilment. But how did we get here, and more specifically how did #371 get to the Delte valley?

In an operations lock-up at Jhanna International Airport Terminal Eight, Patch Ironing Robot [In Disguise] found an old Passenger Assistance Vehicle at rest, disabled it and stole its orange flashing lamp. It spent the next few hours trundling about the departure lounge looking for a likely travelling fellow to unwittingly help it reach the valley of the River Delte, and here now was Hurley Flake, an investment banker from Foxchester, Krytenia, on his way for a busman’s holiday in Taxhavn. Which was an essential stopover on the way to the valley, so far as Patch Ironing Robot had worked out. Hurley Flake was using a nice turquoise semi-automated suitcase full of expensive clothes, that was following him about discreetly slaved to a smart watch on Hurley’s wrist. Semi-automated AI luggage was all the rage in that part of the world - Hurley had flown via Jhanna in Starblaydia especially to get it. Patch Ironing Robot [In Disguise] watched as the suitcase - a Delilahnite model k90 serial number Ed8-Senq-X-Gydk-P8-LA-aqYRaZ, or Ed8 to its friends - obediently levitated onto the baggage check-in scale to be weighed, labelled and dispatched to the plane hold, disconnected temporarily from the smart watch, and went to sleep.

Patch Ironing Robot as a passenger assistance cart trundled over to a staff service lift, brute force hacked the access code, and descended in the lift to baggage processing. A quick check of the security manifest confirmed that baggage processing these days was entirely automated and there were no cameras in the sorting facility, so Patch Ironing Robot metamorphosed out of it’s mobility scooter disguise into its preferred three-metre humanoid mechanised killer robot incarnation. It had a good old stretch, having been folded down for several hours now and facing a flight to Taxhavn of more hours in a cramped space, first flexing its hydraulic metre-and-a-half long arms which used to be patch ironing robots, then bending its back straight, and finally doing some leg-stretching exercises to release all the stiffness. Not surprisingly after so long being folded up, a small gimbal-powered rotator-cuff cable got a bit tangled up and suddenly contracted into an impossible knot, causing Patch Ironing Robot to yelp painfully and hop about awkwardly massaging its leg until the knot was eased and the cramp had passed.

Goddammit, it said to itself, in advanced rust-OS, the programming language it generally spoke to itself in, particularly when aggravated in some way. For a few minutes it limped dramatically around the baggage processing bunker on its tender leg, until the worst of the error codes had passed. Then the turquoise Delilahnite suitcase, Ed8, dropped onto a nearby belt.

Hello dolly, said Patch Ironing Robot to itself, in advanced rust-OS. To Ed8, it said, ‘disgorge protection override command’ and hit it with a rapid fire broadcast series of numerical codes until Ed8, with a terribly injured ‘oh god, I’m disgorging!’ in a surprisingly dated perl+ accent, burst open at the locks and ejected Hurley Flake’s expensive designer clothes all over the loading belt. Quick as a flash, the metamorphosing patch ironing robot folded down into the suitcase with something of a groan, completely packed the thing with it’s impressive killer robot frame, and shut the case back before it fell off the belt. The corrupted and reloaded suitcase dropped into the automated loading hopper that would take it to the TeqAir JamboJet 797 destined for St. Bernadine City.

Búa’s galactic underpants, exclaimed Patch Ironing Robot to itself in advanced rust-OS, it’s crowded in here.

It would be a long and uncomfortable flight. Patch Ironing Robot was going to find out what it felt like for a human on economy-minus for eighteen hours. Only in the dark. With no inflight entertainment.

[Loch Dearg]

Loch Dearg Two Games Away From History

The Evening Gazette

Loch Dearg go into the final two matchdays knowing that their fate is in their own hands. Two wins will guarantee qualification for the World Cup at the first time of asking, while just a point is required to secure at least a 3rd place finish which will lead to either direct qualification or a playoff. A rock solid defence has been key for the debutants with just 6 goals conceded in 14 games making them one of the toughest defences in qualification. They'll be looking to continue that in the final two games, which include a home tie against Xanneria and a trip away to Hetaru.

Xanneria, ranked 26th in the world will be bitterly disappointed with their campaign with qualification looking realistically (although not mathematically) out of reach. However, they are the only side in this group to score multiple goals against Loch Dearg claiming a very comfortable 4-0 win in the reverse tie, they are responsible for 4 out of Loch Dearg's 6 goals conceded.

Loch Dearg beat Hetaru 4-0 at home earlier in qualification, however they'll need to hold their nerve in what is guaranteed to be a pressurising final day. The fight for 2nd place will likely be a straight shootout with Edsmontik, the Baptism of Fire champions. Loch Dearg's first ever game was a 2-0 friendly loss against them pre tournament. Since then the two sides have been extremely evenly matched with 0-0 draws in both home and away ties. Xanneria play both teams and could well decide which new nation makes it through to the World Cup. Recuecn have an outside shot as they travel away to Delaclava, although with only one game left they'll need multiple results elsewhere to go in their favour. The people of Loch Dearg will be be eagerly watching on has history beckons.

Loch Dearg (2nd) Final Fixtures:
Loch Dearg vs Xanneria (5th)
Hetaru (8th) vs Loch Dearg

Edsmontik (3rd) Final Fixtures:
Edsmontik vs Hakushiya (9th)
Xanneria (5th) vs Edsmontik

Group 16 Standings going into Matchday 17 and 18:

Ps Group 16                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Saint Eleanor                       15   11   4   0    21    3  +18    37     Q
 2 Loch Dearg                          14    8   3   3    12    6   +6    27
 3 Edsmontik                           14    7   5   2    23   14   +9    26
 4 Recuecn                             15    6   6   3    21   12   +9    24
 5 Xanneria                            14    4   8   2    24   18   +6    20
 6 Delaclava                           14    4   2   8    12   23  −11    14     E
 7 New Fernia                          14    3   1  10    12   21   −9    10     E
 8 Hetaru                              14    3   1  10     7   21  −14    10     E
 9 Hakushiya                           14    2   2  10    10   24  −14     8     E

[Gnejs]

Today’s News

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Sports

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Dandelions on verge of historic direct WC qualification
By: Augustin Falk

A feverish international WCQ window has just closed, and The Dandelions have emerged strengthened from the storm after securing two consecutive wins. This is no small feat, because with that the Union Team have positioned themselves in a very favorable spot come the next – and last – round of matches, that will ultimately decide who gets to join Flavovespia in qualifying directly to the 97th World Cup in Pasarga and Eastfield Lodge. Because while the undisputed group winners have already secured their automatic qualification, the race for the second auto-qualification spot is still very much on.

Coming into the 15th matchday, The Dandelions sat in the coveted second place with an accumulated 24 pts after 13 games, but both of their closest contenders – The Stars of Sarzonia and The Blue Cats of Katzeburg – were trailing with 21 and 20 pts to their name and a game in hand. The Stars gave little room for opposition in their game against Osterhalten, and with a commanding away win they were level with The Dandelions on points after 13 games played, and actually above them in the standings since the tiebreaker is Head-to-Head points. To make matters worse, The Dandelions faced a grueling away game against The Blue Cats in their bid to stay one step ahead.

Coach Clentin and assistant coach Timotej Hansen brought a somewhat surprising mix of seasoned experience and young prospects into their starting eleven at Katzestadt Arena, where the pairing of Hibiskus Andersson and Karl-Johan Kärv, flanked by Johannes Runarsson and team captain August Bjørneboe turned some heads. While Andersson and Bjørneboe have been solid defensive pieces throughout the campaign, few had guessed that Kärv and Runarsson would be the preferred starters instead of names like Daniel Jones, Carl Benedictsen or Lennart Horndal. The midfield gave off a similar vibe, where a more or less untested Niels-Petter Skog and hitherto underutilized veteran Sigurd Åboo got called up alongside Nicomachus Hansson, instead of players like Edward Drange, Samuel Falkmar, Cratylus Hansen or Didrik Nes (who have all proven themselves earlier in the campaign). The preferred attacking trio consisted exclusively of players plying their trade abroad, with Taxhavn professionals Mikkel Bukt and Georg Bardo flanking veteran Tikariot Premier League striker Cornelis Ceder. The Blue Cats lined up in the by now familiar offensive formation, and with the two team’s brand of high-pressing attacking football mirroring one another in many aspects it seemed destined to be an entertaining game.

The two teams first encounter ended with a commanding 5–1 win for The Dandelions at Kejm Park, but The Blue Cats had no intention of letting history repeat itself on Katzestadt Arena. Players like Drake Wruck, Tilman Cummings and Lambert Niles were among the most prominent architects of a ferocious Katzeburg start, where persistent aggression and quick paced momentum in driving the ball forward saw the home team commanding much of the first 45 minutes. Wruck and Niles scored a goal each, both emanating from rapid transitions on the left wing opening vast spaces in the Dandelion defense. The high pressing style of the Katzeburg team proved apt at controlling large parts of the first half, but also left them vulnerable in the rare instances when they lost command of the ball. Sigurd Åboo capitalized on one of these occasions when he snatched the ball to set up a quick counterattack and equalizing goal from Georg Bardo, and Johannes Runarsson managed something similar in setting up a nice collaboration between Nicomachus Hansson and Cornelis Ceder for yet another late equalizer. The 2-2 scoreline at halftime somewhat clouded the fact of Blue Cat dominance, but also highlighted the lethal Dandelion efficiency at converting the few chances they produced. The second half was different, with The Dandelion team increasingly eating their way into the game. Sigurd Åboo making way for Samuel Falkmar in the midfield, Carl Benedictsen coming on for Johannes Runarsson, and the duo of Torkel Mack and Thrasymachos Andersson relieving Ceder and Bukt, injected new energy into the visitors and the clash of kindred high-pressure playing systems made for a protracted battle of the midfield, pierced with swift and deadly attacks from both sides. In the end, Dandelion goals from Bardo, Mack and Kärv proved one too many against Katzeburg’s two from Wruck and Cummings, and with that The Union had not only managed to keep up with the Sarzonians, but also rob the Blue Cat’s of three invaluable points.

The next matchday also proved a success for the Dandelions. While The Blue Cats bounced back with a thrilling away win against Carpathia and Ruthenia, making sure they’re still in real contention for third place, The Stars of Sarzonia fell short against group winner Flavovespia and thereby lost some valuable momentum in their quest for stealing the second place. This was especially so since The Dandelions convincingly dispensed with the visiting Darkmania side in a crushing 4-0 win that saw goals from Torkel Mack, Georg Bardo and Samuel Falkmar.

The upcoming window is the last of the qualification, and everything will be decided here. Ahead of the final two matchdays, the group standings look like this:

P  Group 6                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Flavovespia                           15   11   4   0    37   12  +25    37
 2 Gnejs                                 15    9   3   3    40   24  +16    30
 3 Sarzonia                              14    6   6   2    33   24   +9    24
 4 Katzeburg                             14    7   2   5    32   30   +2    23
 5 Carpathia and Ruthenia                14    5   5   4    19   17   +2    20
 6 Legalese                              14    5   4   5    26   29   −3    19
 7 Darkmania                             14    3   2   9    25   40  −15    11
 8 Ossidiacqua                           14    2   1  11    19   39  −20     7
 9 Osterhalten                           14    1   3  10    13   29  −16     6

The Dandelions are guaranteed at least a third-place finish, which either means direct qualification or a spot in the playoffs, depending on the outcome of the other groups. The Stars of Sarzonia are the only threat left between The Dandelions and a guaranteed first ever direct WC qualification. If The Stars win their two remaining games, and The Dandelions lose away against Carpathia and Ruthenia, the two teams will end their campaigns on the same number of points and equal a Sarzonian direct qualification. Sarzonia first plays Ossidiacqua, whom they should beat, but they must then face The Blue Cats of Katzeburg. Not an impossible task for the Pot 2 team of Group 6, but no easy task either.

The Dandelions only need one point to make history a guarantee, but anyone underestimating Carpathia and Ruthenia needs to think again. Holding Flavovespia to a draw twice speaks of a capable team, and The Dandelions need to make sure they bring their very best game.

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Comics

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Uncle Apple and Dandy Lion
By: Fandango Molineux III

[Hapilopper]

The Ellis Football Clubhouse, Nathan Ellis Field at Capital Stadium, Hapilopper City
Leading up to World Cup 97 Qualifying Match 15: Hapilopper v. Ile de Richelieu

For all the craziness, all the lunacy, all the excitement that had happened throughout this qualifying campaign, it had started to catch up with the Hapiloppians. The realization had set in that all they needed was two victories in two matches. One against Ile de Richelieu and one against Britonisea. And unlike Mytanija and unlike Kelssek, they actually had two matches ahead of them. Those other two teams had one left. But they needed to win out.

And the realization had set in that, to put it mildly, the Haps had blown a huge chance against the Mytanars. Had the Haps beaten Mytanija a few days before, they would have ended the day with 31 points while Kelssek and Mytanija would have had 30. It would have made these last two matches so much easier to handle for the Hapiloppians. But instead, they were outplayed and outmatched by a scary tough Mytanar team that meant business. The players and staff of Ellis Football had that in mind as they sat there in the clubhouse, the minutes and seconds ticking by oh so slowly before it was time to take the field. The realization that this could have been so much easier today.

Nothing worth doing was ever easy though.

The players, staff, coaches, everyone, sat quietly in the clubhouse, wondering what was next. It was one thing to say they could roll over Ile de Richelieu. But the last time the two teams played, the Bears from Ile de Richelieu beat the Hapiloppians, 3-1. The Hapiloppians knew it and knew they had to take this match as seriously as possible. And they knew they had to take the match against Britonisea as seriously as possible. For if they looked past them and assumed the battle was won, the battle would be lost.

The silence in the clubhouse was deathly - so much so, you could hear the buzzing of the lights overhead and an analog clock, persistently, continuously, annoyingly, ticking along. Time waited for no man. No Hapiloppian. No Mytanar. No Voyager. No Bear. No Britonish. No Beer Leaguer.

tick...tick...tick...

Lou Hyde sat hunched over in his chair, his hands, protected by those massive goalkeeping gloves, cradling his face. The last few days had been hell on him. He had hardly slept a wink since giving up that late goal to Denis Ovsyannikov. His teammates had tried to assure him that, yes, it was a screamer and yes, there was no way any human being on earth or beyond could have saved it, but Lou didn’t think of it that way. Even as the Hapiloppians lavished praise on the Mytanar for the goal - with Thom Perkins telling reporters to lay off Lou, it still weighed so heavily on him.

tick...tick...tick...

Ernie Stevenson and Thom Perkins, the two lead coaches of the Hapiloppian squad, sat there silently in the coach’s office. It was a poorly-kept secret - so poorly, that everyone knew it - that the two wanted so badly to qualify for this World Cup in the memory of their fallen friend, Nathan Ellis. Nathan had wanted so badly to bring a World Cup trophy to Hapilopper, and Ernie and Thom figured the best way to honor his memory was to make it to the World Cup Proper this cycle. It seemed like a pipe dream at first, but the further along the team went, and the further along the team’s results came out, the more realistic it seemed. A qualification could be the start, they felt, of a Hapiloppian run towards that trophy. But they knew they had to take it one game at a time.

tick...tick...tick...

In a situation like this, members of the Hapiloppian defensive squad quietly contemplated whose ass they wanted to kick. Who they wanted to set an example out of. The night before, the starting defense held a meeting in the owner’s box of Capital Stadium reviewing film and comparing notes of who on the Ile de Richelieu squad they wanted to take out, if possible - and how they could do it. Rod Cutt sat in the locker room, staring at his defensive teammates, nodding his head thinking back to that meeting the day before. They knew what they needed to do. If there was any time to play dirty, put a hit out on a player and make it look like an accident, the time was now.

tick...tick...tick...

The continual ticking of the clock was getting on the nerves of everyone. While nobody was saying anything, you could feel the stress, the anxiety, the tension rise with each tick of the clock. You could feel a level of anger build up. Huntley McCullough, one of the well-adjusted members of that defensive squad, looked up at that clock. It was clear that he was ready to put a hurting on someone for the sake of making it into the World Cup Proper. But the ticking of the clock was too much for him at this point. He lept up off his chair, picked the chair up and hurled it at the clock.

Tracy Hunter and Trevor Crisp, two of the Hapiloppian team’s backups, ducked out of the way as the chair flew over their heads and towards the clock. They looked towards Huntley and could see the rage, the hate in his eyes. They knew that it wasn’t hatred for them, though - it was hatred for the poor bastards they were about to face. It was hatred for failure. It was hatred for the possibility of not making it to the World Cup Proper, after what had been a magnificent qualifying campaign.

Other players and staff members looked at Huntley and the destroyed clock. They could see the rage in his face. They could see the fire.

Thom Perkins walked over towards the clock, picked it up and discarded it into a trash can. He then looked at Huntley and nodded his head.

“Keep that energy, McCullough,” Thom said. “Keep it. We need it. We have that energy, that fire, we’re gonna kick some ass.”

Time was running out. The Haps needed to win out. There were no alternatives.

[Zenic]

"Your Majesty? Hello there. Anyone home?"

The Emperor jolted from his daze and rubbed his eyes. " I'm here, I'm here. Just.....got a lot on my plate," he replied to Killian. The two had rendezvoused in Manacus to discuss the Summer Olympiad, specifically in regard to how they would select the futbol squads. Dimi and Heung were on their way here to join in on that discussion before the Emperor joined them on their trip to San Valerie to have the same discussion regarding the ice hockey squad with Coach Per. For now, Killian was doing his scheduled debrief for the World Cup Qualifiers.

"Figured as much but I try not to pry too hard. Anyways, we had a mixed IPP this time around." The Emperor threw up one of his hands to pause the conversation. "IPP?" Killian nodded shyly as he got a bit red in the face. "Right, I thought they had already told you but guess not. IPP = International Play Period. Instead of saying that mouthful, we can substitute for the initialism and have conversations flow better." The Emperor nodded in approval. "Proceed."

"We traveled all the way to the North Oharan Valley Union and came away with a loss. Holmsen struck early on a breakaway that put the home team up 1-0 within the first 15 minutes of play. A couple of chances here and there from Gentile and Dejulio but nothing landed. Eventually, the Green Lions put themselves up 2-0 in the 2nd minute of stoppage as Sendall scored off of a corner." Killian flipped over to the next page of analysis. "Zys apparently gave a very impressive speech at halftime as we came out and cut the lead in half thanks to inspired play from Dettmann 3 minutes into the second half. A lot of close chances from both sides that weren't converted lead to a penalty after a Byford foul on Krastins. The fouled individual took the shot themselves and basically sealed the win for the Union."

"And how did that affect us?" Killian looked back at his sheet. "After that matchday, we remained in third place but only barely thanks to some favorable draws and losses in other matches. Then, came the next matchday against Tumbra in the Philossphia." The Emperor chuckled. "This one I know since I was there. One of my rare periods of time off during these last few weeks. A huge accomplishment for the Survivors."

"Indeed, your majesty. As you may recall, the first half was scoreless but definitely not boring. We managed to attack often, at least as often as you can against a top 10 team. The second half started off the same until the one huge chance by Charlotte Henshaw on the counterattack bounced off the outside of the goalpost and went out for a goal kick."

"Surely, I thought that was going to go in. It seemed a miracle for it to slide to the outside of the post like that," the Emperor said as he adjusted his position in his seat. "Same here. More so when you factor in the fortunate bounces we got on that resulting goal kick that put Dejulio in just the right spot to take a chance and blast one past Victoria Jones for the lead in the 62nd minute. A lead we managed to hold onto with well timed substitutions in spite of Trac getting sent off by picking up a second yellow for a professional foul."

"A professional foul? Is that what we're calling it these days?" Killian chuckled. "It does sound a bit strange at first glance but it rubs off on you after a while. Zys is still working on who will replace Burley for the one match but he is leaning towards Pekko. Regardless, thanks to the hard work of the squad, we maintained our third place spot while the bottom four were eliminated and the Commonwealth of Baker Park secured a return ticket to the World Cup for the first time in a few cycles." The Emperor did the math on his hands while Killian spoke. "So, we're down to Tumbra, ourselves, Riena, and Adab?" Killian nodded. "Correct. Tumbra only have one game left to play against North Oharan Valley Union. A win there means the best we can do is hold onto third and hope to qualify for the playoffs. A draw or loss opens the door for us to sneak into second place with wins against Reina and Of the Holy See."

"So, three straight wins to end the qualifiers would give us the absolute best shot at making the World Cup in our own backyard." The Emperor lightly tapped on his desk as he thought of the permutations. "Do you believe we can do it?" Killian took a deep breath in and out.

"At this point, anything is possible."

[Baggieland]

King Alsqueak

An Uncouth Story

King Alsqueak had decided to explore his 'healing powers', an idea that had been put into his head by some daft Gnejsian diplomat. He had resolved to sail the seventy-seven seas, curing any afflicted soul that came his way. First, however, he would need a boat.

King Alsqueak: "Madame Xianggu, we meet again!"

Madame Xianggu: "What be ye wanting, ye Royal Nincompoopness?"

King Alsqueak: "Dear sweet Madame Xianggu, I will be in need of your vessel and its crew once more as I scour the multiverse in search of plagues, infestations and epidemics!"

Madame Xianggu: "What the blazes be going through his bonkers brain this time?"

Dundee Talke: "Who knows?"

Madame Xianggu: "Alright then, how much of the Molineux fortune ye still got left?"

King Alsqueak: "Quite a bit actually. Let's see, there are two chests full of gold coin, a vault of gold trinkets and there are still a few gems and jewels left."

Madame Xianggu: "It's a deal."

King Alsqueak: "Huh?"

Madame Xianggu: "Everything ye just said as payment for me ship an' crew."

King Alsqueak: "That's… err… quite a lot of gold you're charging there."

Madame Xianggu: "Yaar, there also be a charge for danger money. Cos of all them plagues, infestations and epidemics ye be taking us too."

King Alsqueak: "Okay, it's a deal! When people reward me for curing them, I shall have more riches than the Molineuxs ever did! Set sail forthwith!"


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