World Cup 95 Roleplay Thread

by **Chromatika** » Tue Nov 14, 2023 9:31 pm

World Cup 95 Matchday 1

How will you begin this campaign? Cutoff.

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Nov 14, 2023 10:58 pm

Princess Stella Annabelle Dallas (not naked) in the country of Natanians and Nosts ...

Hello, this is Princess Stella Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem covering the first game in qualification of the World Cup 95!
Confusingly people also refer to me as Princess Annabelle although it is not my preferred name.
It also happens to be our first game of the cup anyay.
As you can see, we're not at home and this is an away game.
It's easy to tell it's an away game anyway, I have clothes on.

World Cup 95 begins and Jeruselem got placed in Group 19 with main rival Valanora.
So what exciting results same from Group 19? Were there any upsets early on?
Before you get too excited if there was, not really.

The first game of a World Cup is a little unpredictable as it's the first proper game a team plays in the cup.
Doesn't matter if you're number one or one hundred, the first game is just warmup and finding things you never do in a friendly.
We didn't play any friendlies so we're kinda a bit rusty!
Considering we have a new manager and retired half the team from last cup, it's not the same team as last time.
So we're starting from scratch pretty much.

Today we had Natanians and Nosts hosting their first game, well you know who the visitors are.
Glazgo having to host Valanora first game, considering one is unranked and one ranked 4th.
Bigpipstan hosting Archalit and StrayaRoos hosting Britonisea.

The people here in Natanians and Nosts are very nice but their team didn't get any points from their first game because we won 1-0.
We're not here to be tourists, we're here to win a football game!
ONE NIL, sounds meh.
We've got this habit of not winning the first game so we'll take considering we didn't play any friends anyway.

Glazgo who are unranked, put up a fight giving Valanora a scare but Valanora won 3-2. Much closer result than the ranking suggested but it's the first game so Valanora are probably going get better.
Bigpipstan and Archalit got their first points with scoreless draw. Hey, it's better than losing! Archalit probably should have on on paper but the first game can bring out weird results sometimes.
The big result was StrayaRoos at home, giving visiting Britonisea 4-1 spanking.
StrayaRoos I''ve been informed are called the Emus, which is a weird flightless bird which can be rather nasty.
They will be an interesting opponent sporting the Green and Gold.

There's no official table but it's easy to work out who's on top after match 1. It's StrayaRoos with their huge win!
Britonsea do not get a reprieve as they go to Jeruselem next. We've played them before anyway.
Yes, we're going home to host Britonsea for our first home game.
Archalit and Valanora will also host their first home game next round.

The game to watch next is actually Archalit v StrayaRoos with 46th ranked Archalit hosting a team who started 4-1 win ranked only 91.
Pirates vs Emus, that sounds just weird.

OOC

Group 19
Matchday 1
Natanians and Nosts 0–1 Jeruselem
Glazgo 2–3 Valanora
Bigpipstan 0–0 Archalit
StrayaRoos 4–1 Britonisea

by **Gnejs** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 12:21 am

Whatever happened to Sverker Danielsson?

Part two: Killer Bob goes to The Ministry of The Interior

It’s not every day you get summoned to The Ministry of The Interior. It’s a weird place, and I’ve only ever been there once before. That time I was scouting for a hit and accompanied an old Lodge operative posing as their security detail. The layout is nonsensical. There’s your standard public office bureaucracy setup on the floors above ground, but it’s something completely different once you start descending to the lower levels; endless hallways in weird muted colors, maroon draperies, seemingly no doors, until one just opens and somebody bids you to enter. I never got really deep that last time, but my guess was that it’ll just get weirder the further down you go. I was expecting being summoned was either about them wanting me to do a hit, or wanting to take me out for something I did in my old life. Turns out it was neither.

This woman in a grey suit took me down to the very deepest levels of the subterranean compound, and after having walked around for ages in a maze-like structure we finally entered a cramped space through a door I could’ve sworn was not there seconds earlier. Apart from the young woman, there were two elderly men and one ancient looking lady, all wearing the same kind of grey suit and moss green ties. I was offered a glass of water, and then they asked me if I could tell them everything I knew about a place called Wight.

The thing is, I play this online kind of game as a hobby. The game itself is a fairly simple political simulator where you get to name your “nation” and pick your flag, national animal and stuff like that. Based on your response to a series of introductory questions you get assigned a number of attributes that shape the makeup of your nation; are you a democracy or a dictatorship, what’s the civil rights and political freedom situation, free market or state intervention, etc. As you start playing, you’re confronted by different dilemmas and based on your response the nation develops accordingly. It’s pretty nifty, and I’ve kept it up for a fairly long time. The point here, however, is that the last couple of years I’ve been starting to get involved in some of the game’s subcultures and primarily one dealing with imaginary sports. Sounds ridiculous? Well, yeah, I get where you’re coming from, but bear with me. So what we do is make up national teams for our respective nations and then pit them against each other in different competitions and disciplines where the outcome is decided by a sophisticated random-number-generator. The sophisticated part is that it’s not all randomness, but an intricate system of ranks and bonuses are applied and by regular participation and taking part in a creative writing setup, you’re able to influence the competition and tilt the odds slightly in your favor. It’s a pretty niche thing to be involved in perhaps, but it’s a brand of escapism that I enjoy.

Anyways, the point. Over the years you encounter and engage with other players; some go to war with each other, some host conferences together and others just focus on the games being played. To each their own. So, there’s this one «nation» that I’ve ended up facing many times, by the name of Wight. Strange place. I do a fairly straightforward dictatorship with a cruel madman as head honcho, but this Wight place is something completely different. I’ve heard it described as a sentient bubble universe, and their schtick, among other things, is reanimating dead people and having them represent the nation in different sports, football primarily. It’s both a real place (in our imaginary game world), and something otherwise, like a state. Not a state as in a hierarchical organization claiming dominion over a territory, but more like the state of a «state of mind», like an embedded plane or something like that. In short, strange, crazy, mind-boggling and makes for very entertaining reading material.

So yes, I could tell them things about Wight, but only the imaginary things whoever controls that game account makes up and posts online, and I said as much, but they didn’t seem bothered. So that’s what I did. I think I did a pretty comprehensive job, although there was that time when whoever controls the Wight game account went back and deleted a whole bunch of previous posts in what has been dubbed the «world’s first disappearing narrative», and while I’ve got a decent enough memory, some of the details of the Lost Posts were a bit foggy.

The ministry people took meticulous notes and seemed very pleased, while I remained profoundly confused. When I was done, and they were done asking about certain details here and there, I was offered a refill on my glass of water and the ancient looking lady spoke for the first time. She told me they had reason to believe that a place called Wight, very much like the one I had just described, actually existed (in a manner of speaking). Further, they had strong indications that lost PUFF advisor Sverker Danielsson was trapped there, and finally that they wanted me to go there and find him (among other things).

We did have that parent-teacher conference on Wednesday, but I went last time and this all seemed like a too exciting trip to pass up.

by **Santa-Barbara** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 12:52 am

Ephrem Bellarmine's Response to The Holy Empire's 'Ode to Group 13'

During a recent press conference attended by Santa-Barbara's manager Ephrem Bellarmine, he had some words to say about the Holy Empire's 'ode' about their World Cup group which expectedly targeted Santa-Barbara. The publication made headlines and Bellarmine addressed it towards the end of the press conference...

"As we enter into our first World Cup, we expect many to underestimate us. I can tell you now that we will put all those doubts to rest as we adjust. I know that the Holy Empire who are competing in our group had something to say which we all found particularly amusing. A poet belonging to their nation decided to create an ode that talked about other nations in the group including us. It seemed that the most nonsense in that piece was targeted at us which we thought was bizarre seeing as we are the smallest threat according to the rankings. That's fine though, because when Heraclius Portman drops a hattrick on them and Juan Tzimisces starts to reconsider his career as a manager after losing to an unranked team, the joke is going to be all on them. If I were to give any advice to that nation, focus on improving the poor quality of life over there instead of making poems that encapsulate the rhythm of a flickering streetlight. We look forward to competing against them and showing which nation is the true Holy Empire. Now enough about that. Anymore questions? "

by **Yakk** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 1:24 am

The Lights shine bright for the Empire in Nijan!
We're off on the road to the stars
Where do you wanna go, Venus or Mars?

The lights shine bright on the Plateau!

NIJAN - The Yak Empire World Cup Qualifying tour got off to an amazingly, shocking start. The Yak Empire pulled off a major upset with a thrilling goal from Mihkeal Boryozov, the young Qasmanbashi native! The game was played in front of a huge capacity crowd of 25,000 in the city of Lhaskan, the regional capital of the Province of Lhaskan. Within the empire Lhaskan is mostly known in modern times as a mining city. Located on the Lhaskan plateau mines of nickel and copper are dotted amongst the relatively barren landscape. But in the context of Yak Empire history they have a complex relationship with the rest of the nation. A 500 year period of skirmishes between the Yak Empire and the Lhaskans ended in the 1500s with the conquering of Lhaskan by the Yak Empire, but the relation was always tumultuous and for a large part ethnic tensions hindered the local population, but after the defeat of a Military Junta and the rise of emperor Nyam-Orgil the Lhaskan region has seen significant growth in the last 30 years.

One bigger issue with the game was stadium availability. By time the WCQ match was announced for this day, the Yak Premier League had already announced its season schedule. Because of this a conflict arose. Traditionally a game against a pot 2 team like Cassadaigua would take place at either The Imperial Stadium in Alangabaat or Riverside Stadium in Qasmanbashi. But problems arose as both of the domestic tenets, Alganabaat Victory and Qasmanbashi Turkic FC are hosting Thursday night games that day. This gave the Yak Empire an issue, not just with Stadium selection but also roster constructions. This is hurt by the fact a decent amount of the starters play for the two teams mentioned (Opponents were Horseriders Club and Naasras , both games were last week matchups as there is a week overlap between YPL and the WCQs).

So, the game started in an unfamiliar town with a very jumbled up roster going against a pot two giant from Rushmore. But the Yak Empire held its own. The two biggest scoring threats for Cassadaigua were a header by Kaitlin Millikan that thanks to a mistimed jump ricocheted off her shoulder instead, and the second was a pass from Rachel Becker to Lauren Engle, Engle couldnt quite catch up to the ball and it went harmlessly out of bounds over the.

The game came down to Mihkeal Boryozov. An Offenseive Midfielder he was lucky because his team was Ijiang PlateauSport, from nearby Ijiang. He was able to start in a time where roster depletion got so bad that only one keeper suited up for the Yak Empire. It was not Egered Khad, nor Nygil Ohkmar, but rather Tsendahk Morgil-Bahk who started at keeper for the Empire. In fact, A large chunk of the team was made up of Lhaskans, some do to need, but also due to coach Richard Presintino wanting to use native players to combat the altitude issues that some of the players native to the lower elevations may struggle with. In the end Mikhael Boryozov will be the one remembered today. A shot from Guyar Cirmahk deflected itself off the gloves of Stacey Schalberg and directly into the golden left foot of Boryozov, who used his foot to promptly boot it in. After that goal, the rest is now history! Yak takes a surprised 1-0 lead and there is an air of confidence surrounding this team now, as the next to games are versus a Starblaydia team well past its glory years and Carpathia and Ruthenia a newcomer one pot below us. Realistically 3-0-0 is in the realm of possibility!

CASSADAIGUA - 0
NONE -

YAK EMPIRE - 0
1 - Boryozov 79'

by **Stevencousin** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 1:33 am

STEVENCOUSIN FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION

World Cup Opener Sees Stevencousin's Impressive Victory

Stevencousin 5–1 Corrupt Petrostate
Federal Unity Stadium, Cassaholm [88,208]

The 95th World Cup qualifiers have kicked off in full swing at the Federal Unity Stadium, Cassaholm, and the Group 1 match brought a big surprise as Stevencousin overcame Corrupt Petrostate with a resounding 5-1 scoreline on Match Day 1.

This match, which was attended by 88,208 football fans from all walks of life, saw a solid performance by Stevencousin who provided real entertainment to their fans. The stadium was filled with cheers and sportsmanship throughout the match that took place under the floodlights.

Extraordinary goals have shaped this match. Leon Voloshyn scored a hat-trick with brilliant goals in the 27th, 51st, and 77th minutes. Simon Armas joined in the fun with a direct free-kick in the 69th minute, showing his efficiency and technical precision. Jochen Boi then completed Stevencousin's glory with the final goal in the 82nd minute, assisted by midfielder and captain Thanuka Jayamanna.

Apart from the amazing football action, this match also features another interesting element that comes with it. Sabretooth Investment, as the official sponsor of the match, provides an unforgettable entertainment experience by bringing famous artists such as Mia Forla and the rock group "The Sebastian" to a special concert before the match. This not only enhances the overall atmosphere of the match but also proves how sports and entertainment can come together to provide a complete experience for supporters.

Stevencousin's big win in this opening stage puts them in a strong position in the group and promises more exciting action in this World Cup qualifying series. Football fans and fans all over the world must be eagerly waiting to witness the exciting performance of this team in the next series of matches.

DEFENSIVE SIDE
Ramiro Fernandes [GK]
Raymond Aas [DEF.]
Chathura Vimalaharan [DEF.]
Renato Miguel Boa-Morte [DEF.]
Benjamin Hadjadj [DEF.]

OFFENSIVE SIDE
Thanuka Jayamanna [MID.]
Jochen Boi [MID.]
Gregory Gigliotti [MID.]
Simon Armas [MID.]
Leon Voloshyn [FWD.]
Sumith Wanigassoriya [FWD.]

SUB'S.
Josef Snajdr [MID.]
Steven Cheyrou [FWD.]
Steven van Oudenhove [DEF.]

ASSIST
Thanuka Jayamanna [MID.]
Josef Snajdr [MID.]
Raymond Aas [DEF.]
Gregory Gigliotti [MID.]

GOAL
Jochen Boi [MID.] - 82nd minute
Simon Armas [MID.] - 69th minute
Leon Voloshyn [FWD.] - 27th, 51st, and 77th minutes.

by **Vilwandia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 3:21 am

Vilwandia "do us proud" in 2-1 defeat to Indusse

Indusse scored twice in the first half, however were made uncomfortable by their opponents in their opening qualifying game

The turnout at the The Aditya Varma Kulashekara International Stadium was somewhat less than the 131,561 capacity, as the visiting Vilwandian side were somewhat overlooked by the home side, and a win was perhaps assumed. However, the Vilwandiese brought fans in their droves, the singing of patriotic songs in their corner of the fishbowl-like stadium still going relatively unheard.

On the pitch, Vilwandia had a start to forget, as their defence was carved open inside a minute, young talent Antonio Mersiás going almost solo past a shaky-looking Hansie Smuts, perhaps hit by off-field events in the match buildup. Regardless of the reason, he could do nothing as the Indussean slotted the first goal of the game past a sprawled-out Petersen.

Vilwandia would press high up the pitch in the following minutes, dominating possession and harassing the Indusse defence. However, in the 32nd minute, tempers flared, leading to a small skirmish in which Indusse won a free kick, with Rahul B Kumar and Adriaan Brown being shown yellow cards.

The free kick proved to be a turning point, as Indusse regrouped and soon found themselves doubling their lead through another Mersiás goal, however this was more of a team effort than the first. Vilwandia's attacking form was doing them no favours at the back at this stage, and it seemed a miracle to all who were watching that they weren't down by even more after the first 45.

However, something seemed to click at half time, Vilwandia continuing their high press in a more disciplined manner. Brown was substituted for Violette Plaatjies, who managed to set up a few attacks in the first few minutes, but none were successful.

Vilwandia would have their goal five minutes from time, though. Plaatjies played to Vermaak, who looped in a cross to Sibanda in clear space in the centre of the box, and a diving header from there sent the Vilwandian fans cheering.

As the full-time whistle blew, despite being defeated, the Swans took it well. Cordialities were exchanged between the two sides, the two coaches shaking hands, appearing to be somewhat friendly with one another after the match. In his post-match interview, Zander Vorster stated "They did us proud. That's mostly it, and I'm proud to call myself their coach after a night like this. ...it's onward and upwards from here."

Meanwhile, following a rather controversial statement from fellow groupmates The Holy Empire, Hansie Smuts was questioned about his mention in the poem. "It is what it is, they'll say what they'll say, my name is my name. Nothing more." is all a rather tense-looking Smuts wanted to say. Whether Vorster will wish to talk to him or leave him out of their match with The Empire remains to be seen, and is currently the talk of many press outlets.

Vilwandia are next in action away to the unranked Santa-Barbara. "They are unranked, not unskilled. We will take them as seriously as we do all other opposition." Jerome Sibanda told Vilwandian News.

In Other News:
- Anti-Union marches take place throughout Impanga, police on standby in Umoya City
- Prime Chief Bhekithemba calls for "a peaceful resolution", House of Representatives in frantic discussion on solutions
- New budget sees devolved industry given yet more focus.
- Rail network connecting Umoya City with Eteksiville announced, journey times halved in bid to discourage driving.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 4:03 am

Part 1

On a clear day, if you squint, and if you knocked down around four hundred buildings, you could see the floodlights of Cazadores Cathair's stadium, El Ruedo, from the vantage point of the top of the hill at Parque, the public park run by Cathair's mayoral council, and the marker for the first kilometre of the Kirola Cathair Marathon. Large, square and on a slight incline, Parque is the former site of an olive grove that was, hundreds of years ago, bulldozed to make way for half a golf course by a man whose name has been lost to history for obvious reasons: Anyone bulldozing anything for the sake of a golf course, especially in the middle of a city, needs his family name razed and salted so that no other wankers may grow in his stead. Records tell of a Republic Park Golf Course existing for a couple of years, centuries ago, before being forced to close down due to, as the owner apparently put it, 'pest problems', with the pests generally consisting of a hundred drunks a night breaking in, stealing anything which wasn't bolted down and urinating on anything that was. Upon the land being seized by a government that cited, as their reason for closing down the golf course, the fact that 'it's a fucking golf course, fuck off', a ring of olive trees was planted around a newly bulldozed field, with ponds and swings and benches installed, along with other 'wait what goes in a park' things.

For those silly enough to have signed up for the Kirola Cathair Marathon, the course takes you round the park once and then west to the Bullring (a commercial marketplace from a few centuries ago that was once used for bullfighting), and then northwest to Commercial Boulevard, a long, wide street with the kinds of shops preposterously rich people take their gold credit cards to, and that was used for bullfighting once. Exactly once. Accidentally. The road has a large carpark at the top of a gentle incline and a bespoke trolley service at the bottom to take said wealthy people back to their cars to save them from having to walk uphill (and, in one fatal instance, to save them from being gored by a lost bull). It was up this hill that ten thousand ridiculously dressed maniacs made their way. It was at the side of this road that Rubio Sanchez stood, holding a bicycle, scanning the crowd for a familiarly shaped maniac that may or may not be wearing two binbags.

"Over here, Jeremy, walk with me" said Rubio, waving, walking his bicycle along the pathway. At this time of morning there weren't many spectators to avoid.
"I can keep running" said Jeremy. "Plenty of energy left, me" he added.
"I'm sure" said Rubio. "But it's a slight hill and, er, you're not running faster than I'm walking"
Jeremy slowed to a walk and puffed out his cheeks.
"You've lost your plastic ninja snood" said Rubio.
"Yeah" replied Jeremy. "Yeah it turns out running while wearing a plastic hood is, well, sweaty. Plus it stopped raining?"
"Yeah it stopped raining before the race even started, I thought you were going for an anonymity thing. You want me to take your bin-bag jacket?" Asked Rubio, nodding at the bag that had been stuffed into Jeremy's hand.
"You might want to burn it" said Jeremy, "this was even sweatier"
"Okay" said Rubio, taking it, holding it with two fingers and quietly dropping it into a passing bin. "So there's photographers at the top of this hill, stationed in the carpark, they'll be snapping the runners as they turn right to run down into Parliament Square. Great opportunity for a photo, considering why you're doing this whole thing."
"Mayoral building is still opposite the parliament building" said Jeremy, nodding. "Makes people believe it's part of the system and not just a house for an idiot in a stupid red cloak and old school Hip-Hop chain who opens buildings with scissors"
"Quite" said Rubio. "And you'll change all that"
"I'll turn it into a soup kitchen and have my office at home, aye. If I'm going to get paid thousands for doing nothing, I want that 'nothing' to include not having to move into a McMansion from which I have to see other bloody politicians"
"Without the robes and chain"
"I never said that" said Jeremy. "Where's this photographer?"
"Can't see him from here" said Rubio, "but he's standing on a concrete bollard thing. Can't miss him once you get over this little rise. Just try to look like you're having fun, give him some kind of big arms gesture, photographers love that"
"They do not" said Jeremy
"Not the gestures you're thinking of" said Rubio. "Big two-arm waves, two fingers in the air..."
"Like this?" Said Jeremy, waving two fingers at Rubio
"The other way" said Rubio. "Or, if you want, that pacific surfer one"
"What"
"The one that looks like you're miming shaking a telephone over your a dog"
"What" responded Jeremy, before trying to gesticulate the thing according to Rubio's explanation. "Oh that"
"Big smile, but not too big, you need to look respectable. Oh, and at the top, it's cobbles. Wet cobbles. Wet cobbles on a slight incline"
"Okay so step over all the dead bodies"
"I mean don't fall yourself, it wouldn't look great if you fucked your coccyx"
"What" said Jeremy, before quickly adding "oh, coccyx"
"And don't look at your watch" said Rubio. "Nothing worse than a picture of a hundred marathoners and they're all glancing at their watch like the numbers are suddenly going to show that they aren't tired"
"Very unlikely" said Jeremy. "I put the wrong watch on this morning" he added, waving his left wrist in Rubio's general direction.
"You're running a marathon in a two thousand dollar Tog Haioauaeier?"
"Yeah" said Jeremy
"Somewhere in the world there's a depressed divorcee accountant wondering why he's wearing a GPS watch"
"That's likely most accountants" said Jeremy. "Anyway, I'm going to start running again. Build up a head of steam"
"Smile. Surfer fingers, but cobbles. And take this" said Rubio, offering a peeled satsuma. Jeremy put half of it into his mouth immediately.
"Haff stsms alws tshtd thsh good?" Said Jeremy, struggling to mouth the words around the satsuma.
"What"
"Have satsumas always tasted this good?" He repeated
"They've always tasted better than oranges" said Rubio. "But no. You're experiencing a level of taste beyond the reach of people who don't wear stupid clothes and run around"
"I could get used to this" said Jeremy, picking up the pace. "How long to go"
"Pretty much all of it" called Rubio to the very, very slowly retreating figure.

-- Months Earlier ---

Oh It's One Of These Is It
Bulls blow first of just six chances of home victory

Ranked 276th in the world, registering just one win in five in the Baptism of Fire, Shieldstan had enough wherewithal to keep the Bulls at bay at the Beltzarga, keeping their nerve at the back to come out of the game with a commendable point against a Bulls team trying to remember what being a top seed is exactly like.

Ager Alaba, shorn of Helios Roy to injury, played Zendagorta as the lone striker and relied upon a five-man midfield to break down Shieldstan's defences. They did so on very, very few occasions.

Early in the first half, Trigintillion broke through on the left, latching onto a Zendagorta diagonal ball, but dallied in the box and could only tamely chip the ball into the keeper's shoulder. Buvalelli was enterprising in the centre, providing an assortment of passes forward for the likes of Trigintillion, Zendagorta and Bruhn to do something with, but either the first touch was lacking or the finishing, usually so crisp from Zendagorta, was wayward. Chances were there to be had, but Audioslavia's final tally of Shots on Target finished on an anaemic three from twenty-five attempts, with only the aforementioned Trigintillion chance, a long range Munir effort and a header from Everton Bolding - hit straight down the keeper's throat - troubling the keeper.

The Bulls now have just five home games and six away games left in order to accumulate as many points as possible - assuming of course that both games against Qasden will finish in the traditional way. Audioslavia have played them on five previous occasions and have lost each one by a goal to nil.

by **Cabo Azure** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 4:50 am

Poafmersia 1–4 Cabo Azure
Starting XI: Gomes | Soares, M'bah-Pinho (off 19'), Furtado, Branco | Gontijo, Bastos, Cardoso (49') | Gouveia (76'), Santos (11'), Silveira (c) (33')
Subs: Delgado (on '19)

A strong team performance to start off a qualifying campaign where expectations are sky-high. After young Anselmo Santos opened his account for the Maçaricas early, it appeared the game might be well in hand, until Tobias M'bah-Pinho made an ill-advised tackle as the last man in the box and earned a yellow. Rather than risk losing his club man down the stretch of qualifying, coach Zanetti made the decision to give Atheara-based centerback Tomás Delgado his first cap in steel and gold. The rest of the match was standard Azurean football, with Vasco Cardoso returning to his roots with a powerful header off a corner from "Bandicoot" Soares, Silveira burning his defender to bury one in the top-right, and Gouveia poaching a random tap-in in garbage time.

Projected starting XI @ Kewlz: Sapeteiro | Costa, M'bah-Pinho, Delgado, Ferraz | Andrade, Rathbone (c), Florencio | Gouveia, Mendonça, Magalhaes
Projected starting XI vs. The Kytler Peninsulae: Sapeteiro | Saores, Delgado, Furtado, Ferraz | Gontijo, Bastos, Rathbone | Ventura, Silveira (c), Cardoso

One hundred and thirty years ago

When he was told of his father’s death, Prince Regent Carlos stayed still and quiet so long that for a moment, his brother-in-law Prince Alexandre of Quebec feared he may not have understood. His father’s killer was in the next room, undoubtedly sweating in his Royal Quebecois Navy dress uniform. The Quebecois destroyer Invictus, currently at anchor off the coast of Portelo, had mistaken King Adolfo’s ship for a hostile and fired upon her after multiple attempts to hail, if the good commander were to be believed, which Carlos believed he was.

“So it’s as we feared,” Carlos said to Alexandre. They were alone in the throne room, the Pretoriani and other members of the Privy Council having been sent out for the moment at Alexandre’s request. “Send word to the Maritime Academy. Have them prep the officers’ mess for an early supper. I’ll write out a list of whom to invite; do not deviate from it, brother.”

There was steel in the young prince’s eyes that Alex had never seen there before. This was the boy who’d wept when his father had gone on his round-the-world expedition and left him in charge as prince regent, a chance most young crown princes would kill for, and many had. Alex knew very little of Carlos, except what Carmen, Alex’s wife, Carlos’s older sister, told him. She said he’d been slow to grow up, never much interested in girls or normal things boys were into, but that he’d been the apple of their father’s eye.

For his part, Carlos studied the second hand of the grandfather clock as he scrawled out the guest list on his stationery and produced his father’s wax seal from a desk drawer. The seals were an antiquated method of verification, but they were bloody hard to forge, and Carlos wanted to impress upon Alexandre the need for secrecy and complete obedience. Carlos drizzled white wax haphazardly on the folded list and pressed the seal into it before handing it off to Alexandre.

The names on the list were: Carlos’s sisters, Carmen (Alex’s wife) and Adeline; Tito Silva, Marquess of Aho, the last remaining noble lord of any relevance; Commander Sun, skipper of the Invictus; Alexandre himself; Lord Jameson Platt, Quebecois ambassador to Cabo Azure; and Julio Carrasco, Carlos’s concubine who was a capitão de corveta in the Azurean Navy. The last inclusion puzzled Alexandre. While Carlos’s sexuality was something of an open secret at least in Portelo, his relationship with Julio was never acknowledged, and bringing a relatively junior naval officer into the fold on something as important as this was risky for relatively little reward. Was Carlos needing emotional support from his lover, or was he naive enough to think Julio’s loyalty could help him? Either way, Alexandre recognized the list for what it was, a test of his loyalty, and treated it as such.

In truth, fear of this exact scenario was why Carlos had wept when his father left; he did not fear ruling, but he feared for his father’s safety in the notoriously treacherous waters of the Blood Sea with an active war on. The Bejia-Flor, his father’s yacht, was as fine a ship as had ever sailed, but she was just that, a sailing vessel, a pleasure craft with no wireless on a sea littered with diesel-powered warships. While Cabo Azure was officially neutral in the Southern Rushmori War, it was no secret that Tito Silva’s merchant ships had been running supplies from Quebec to the southern coast of Rushmore from the first hostilities, and the nuance of private enterprise was like to be lost on the high seas. Carlos had always been a nervous young man, always planning his next move, and now his preparation was about to pay off.

by **Santa-Barbara** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 6:54 am

Santa Barbara 1 - 4 Sharktail post-match press conference

Ephrem Bellarmine was the centre of attention at the post-match press conference as he was asked by the media about the result in Santa-Barbara's first ever match in the World Cup.

"Look it's not the result we were after. We did come up across a strong side in a 65th ranked Sharktail squad. I thought our forwards actually played quite well and we saw a glimpse of this in Heraclius Portman's goal in the 72nd minute. It didn't help that our captain Roman Avila went down in the first 15 minutes. He is okay now and will be back next game but we couldn't take our chances and risk compromising the health or provoking an injury to one of our most important players. Our defence did subsequently fall a part a bit which opened up more chances for Sharktail to score which turned into 4 goals. I thought we also needed to take more control as we only had 34% of possession which is a little concerning. But listen, as I said in the previous press conference, we are learning and we are adjusting. We will now take what we have learned from this match and move onto our next opponent Vilwandia who look like an admirable side. They did come off a tight loss but we are heavily preparing for them because we know of the quality that side possesses. Right now the players are resting and it is back to training tomorrow so we can practice our gameplan to the max and execute it to perfection on gameday. And to all the snark remarks that were made at us when the final whistle blew, just know that we are new to this but we are coming for everything. It may not be in this tournament but expect to see us triumph over all nations very soon. I believe we have a solid and perseverant squad on our hands with plenty of potential and a very bright future so I implore you to not underestimate a side like this."

by **HUElavia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 7:00 am

HUElavia 2–0 United States of Devonta
(Si 38', Aveiro 85')
Estadio Hueti, Jinaqa, HUElavia

Xkorinating the FIFA World Cup

Episode 1:
1994 FIFA World Cup

The Year is 1994. The 15th edition of the FIFA World Cup is being hosted by the United States of America. William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton is President of the United States. The Lion King is released and becomes the most successful movie of 1994. The Sign by Ace of Base is the No.1 song on Billboard in 1994. Gloryland by Daryl Hall & Sounds of Blackness is the official song for the World Cup.

24 teams played among 9 venues throughout the United States. The venues were as follows:

Rose Bowl (102,083), Pasadena, CA (Los Angeles)
Giants Stadium (76,891), East Rutherford, NJ (New York)
Soldier Field (66,814), Chicago, IL
Stanford Stadium (86,019), Stanford, CA (San Francisco)
Cotton Bowl (72,000), Dallas, TX
Foxboro Stadium (61,000), Foxboro, MA (Boston)
RFK Memorial Stadium (56,500), Washington, D.C.
Citrus Bowl (70,188), Orlando, FL
Pontiac Silverdome (76,000), Pontiac, MI (Detroit)

The Groups were set as follows:

Group A:
United States, Switzerland, Colombia, Romania

Group B:
Brazil, Russia, Cameroon, Sweden

Group C:
Germany, Bolivia, Spain, South Korea

Group D:
Argentina, Greece, Nigeria, Bulgaria

Group E:
Italy, Ireland, Norway, Mexico

Group F:
Belgium, Morocco, Netherlands, Saudi Arabia

Without further ado, here is the first scorination of this grand tournament:

Matchday 1:

Group A
United States (USA) 2–2 Switzerland (SUI)
Colombia (COL) 2–0 Romania (ROU)

  Group A              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Colombia               1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
2 Switzerland            1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
  United States          1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
4 Romania                1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Group B
Brazil (BRA) 1–1 Russia (RUS)
Cameroon (CMR) 0–3 Sweden (SWE)

  Group B              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sweden                 1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Brazil                 1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Russia                 1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 Cameroon               1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

Group C
Germany (GER) 3–0 Bolivia (BOL)
Spain (ESP) 1–1 South Korea (KOR)

  Group C              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Germany                1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 South Korea            1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Spain                  1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 Bolivia                1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

Group D
Argentina (ARG) 2–1 Greece (GRE)
Nigeria (NGA) 2–1 Bulgaria (BUL)

  Group D              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Argentina              1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
  Nigeria                1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
3 Bulgaria               1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
  Greece                 1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0

Group E
Italy (ITA) 0–0 Ireland (IRL)
Norway (NOR) 0–2 Mexico (MEX)

  Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mexico                 1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
2 Ireland                1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
  Italy                  1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
4 Norway                 1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Group F
Belgium (BEL) 2–2 Morocco (MAR)
Netherlands (NED) 0–1 Saudi Arabia (KSA)

  Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saudi Arabia           1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Belgium                1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
  Morocco                1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
4 Netherlands            1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Matchday 2:

Group A
Switzerland (SUI) 0–1 Romania (ROU)
United States (USA) 0–4 Colombia (COL)

  Group A              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Colombia               2   2  0  0    6   0  +6    6
2 Romania                2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    3
3 Switzerland            2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
4 United States          2   0  1  1    2   6  −4    1

Group B
Russia (RUS) 0–1 Sweden (SWE)
Brazil (BRA) 3–0 Cameroon (CMR)

  Group B              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sweden                 2   2  0  0    4   0  +4    6
2 Brazil                 2   1  1  0    4   1  +3    4
3 Russia                 2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
4 Cameroon               2   0  0  2    0   6  −6    0

Group C
Bolivia (BOL) 0–1 South Korea (KOR)
Germany (GER) 1–1 Spain (ESP)

  Group C              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Germany                2   1  1  0    4   1  +3    4
2 South Korea            2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Spain                  2   0  2  0    2   2   0    2
4 Bolivia                2   0  0  2    0   4  −4    0

Group D
Greece (GRE) 1–1 Bulgaria (BUL)
Argentina (ARG) 1–2 Nigeria (NGA)

  Group D              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nigeria                2   2  0  0    4   2  +2    6
2 Argentina              2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
3 Bulgaria               2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
  Greece                 2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1

Group E
Ireland (IRL) 2–2 Mexico (MEX)
Italy (ITA) 3–1 Norway (NOR)

  Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mexico                 2   1  1  0    4   2  +2    4
2 Italy                  2   1  1  0    3   1  +2    4
3 Ireland                2   0  2  0    2   2   0    2
4 Norway                 2   0  0  2    1   5  −4    0

Group F
Morocco (MAR) 0–1 Saudi Arabia (KSA)
Belgium (BEL) 1–1 Netherlands (NED)

  Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saudi Arabia           2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
2 Belgium                2   0  2  0    3   3   0    2
3 Morocco                2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
4 Netherlands            2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1

Matchday 3:

Group A
Colombia (COL) 3–0 Switzerland (SUI)
Romania (ROU) 0–3 United States (USA)

  Group A              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Colombia               3   3  0  0    9   0  +9    9
2 United States          3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4
3 Romania                3   1  0  2    1   5  −4    3
4 Switzerland            3   0  1  2    2   6  −4    1

Group B
Cameroon (CMR) 0–0 Russia (RUS)
Sweden (SWE) 2–0 Brazil (BRA)

  Group B              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sweden                 3   3  0  0    6   0  +6    9
2 Brazil                 3   1  1  1    4   3  +1    4
3 Russia                 3   0  2  1    1   2  −1    2
4 Cameroon               3   0  1  2    0   6  −6    1

Group C
Spain (ESP) 1–0 Bolivia (BOL)
South Korea (KOR) 0–2 Germany (GER)

  Group C              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Germany                3   2  1  0    6   1  +5    7
2 Spain                  3   1  2  0    3   2  +1    5
3 South Korea            3   1  1  1    2   3  −1    4
4 Bolivia                3   0  0  3    0   5  −5    0

Group D
Nigeria (NGA) 2–2 Greece (GRE)
Bulgaria (BUL) 2–1 Argentina (ARG)

  Group D              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nigeria                3   2  1  0    6   4  +2    7
2 Bulgaria               3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
3 Argentina              3   1  0  2    4   5  −1    3
4 Greece                 3   0  2  1    4   5  −1    2

Group E
Norway (NOR) 0–1 Ireland (IRL)
Mexico (MEX) 2–3 Italy (ITA)

  Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Italy                  3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
2 Ireland                3   1  2  0    3   2  +1    5
3 Mexico                 3   1  1  1    6   5  +1    4
4 Norway                 3   0  0  3    1   6  −5    0

Group F
Netherlands (NED) 1–1 Morocco (MAR)
Saudi Arabia (KSA) 0–3 Belgium (BEL)

  Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saudi Arabia           3   2  0  1    2   3  −1    6
2 Belgium                3   1  2  0    6   3  +3    5
3 Morocco                3   0  2  1    3   4  −1    2
4 Netherlands            3   0  2  1    2   3  −1    2

Round-of-16

Colombia (COL) 1–0 South Korea (KOR) Pasadena, CA

Belgium (BEL) 1–2 Brazil (BRA) Dallas, TX

Saudi Arabia (KSA) 1–0 Ireland (IRL) Orlando, FL

Sweden (SWE) 2–2 Argentina (ARG) (3–2 AET) Stanford, CA

Italy (ITA) 3–1 Bulgaria (BUL) East Rutherford, NJ

Germany (GER) 1–0 Romania (ROU) Chicago, IL

Nigeria (NGA) 2–0 Mexico (MEX) Foxboro, MA

Spain (ESP) 3–2 United States (USA) Washington, DC

Quarter-Finals

Colombia (COL) 2–4 Brazil (BRA) Stanford, CA

Saudi Arabia (KSA) 1–1 Sweden (SWE) (1–2 AET) Dallas, TX

Italy (ITA) 4–1 Germany (GER) East Rutherford, NJ

Nigeria (NGA) 0–1 Spain (ESP) Foxboro, MA

Semi-Finals

Brazil (BRA) 1–0 Sweden (SWE) Pasadena, CA

Italy (ITA) 1–0 Spain (ESP) East Rutherford, NJ

3rd Place Match

Sweden (SWE) 0–1 Spain (ESP) Pasadena, CA

Final

by **Delte** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 7:06 am

Juvencus 0-3 Delte
Sports Correspondent Kim Samrodd in the far faraway for the Oswark Parish Advertiser

I've been briefed not to dwell overly long on the finer details of our match but suffice it to say the Away Team Mission began with - on pixels at least - the hardest fixture of qualifying first and came through with flying colours. As the number one seed (how did that happen - it sounds like one of the tall tales the pub landlord would tell down at the Six of Staves...) away to the number two seed, was this an early six pointer? It's difficult to be sure because the WCC have not actually published the tables yet, but this writer suspects it's still only worth three points in reality. They may have been missing last cycle's prolific young scorer Henry Lightman - now safely back in Oswark-upon-Delte with the Home Team - but they did not appear to show any ill effects from his absence as The Representatives competently out-foxed La Squadra.

Home & Away
The Representative Qualification Team, Part 2: Away

With Deltic players in the World Cup only permitted to travel out of the valley for one qualification cycle, it didn’t take long to use up all the decent players in the league - though they have done perfectly well, getting The Representatives into the NSWC Top 20 in just five cycles. But how to carry on? To solve the problem of lack of footballers from the valley available for the Continuous World Cup (95 competitions in two decades, Deltic Time, and counting) the All-Week Super Ultra Premier Football Association, the Delte FA, has turned to a densely populated nearby taxhaven for assistance.

No-one is quite sure whether the Delts own Taxhavn or the Delte Valley is owned by the Taxhavnites, and, as the old debate goes in World Cup puppeteering subforums, perhaps we will never know the extent to which who owns what and for how long or for why. But it doesn’t really matter, calculate the Deltic FA, because the Isle of Taxhavn has never played in the World Cup, and perhaps never will. Which means, being on the outside time zone and all, the Taxhavnites - who happen to have hundreds of professional footballers - are ideal recruits for the red shirts of the Away Team Mission. They’re already ageing at the same rate as an Opio Ssambwa of Banija or a Vâásk Çêwé of Farfadillis or a Clarana Refiami of err, well, ahem, [awkward]anyway you take my point[/awkward]. Let the Taxmen take the strain, for a change.

Farfadillis resident and head player-coach of the Away Team Mission Enor Perro has picked eighteen players from the not-very-good-but-insanely-rich SteuerLig of Taxhavn, including leftback Ebi Hummel and right winger Valentin Fey of the dominant Raven Thöni club, who recently won a third straight domestic title and made an early impression in their first ever IFCF campaign, reaching the group stage of the Challengers Cup. Other Taxhavnites to watch out for are rightback ‘VW’ Kampermann and centre half Töbi Aerle, both youngsters with exciting careers ahead of them, and at the opposite end of his career, the veteran left midfielder Sebastian Bettler.

Of course the SteuerLig now features two Deltic regulars in strikers Tai Cerotha and Danny Mastorqa, as well as young prospect Onun Tasher, who happens to be on the Isle of Taxhavn as a student at the University of St. Bernadine, so the trio have permission to play for the Away Team for as long as they are ex-pats. Prospective all-time great Enor Perro himself, of course, is central to the campaign. But there is someone else to watch out for too.

Although eagle-eyed followers of developments in Deltic football will have noticed a new name on the team sheet (beyond the 18 other new names from the Isle of Taxhavn), neither they nor the general audience could anticipate the number of words that will be generated in the coming cycle by Ringer Smith. I can confidently predict at least 3,296 - and that’s just in qualification. The attacking midfielder lines up in the diamond ahead of Delte’s finest football product, captain, coach and first professional in the valley - Enor himself - and it is my suspicion he could be the difference-maker that raises a few eyebrows amongst the great nations of the World Cup. Or at least those that are still allowed to participate.

Next: RPO ^[1] Presents… The Quick & The Delts: Faraway Sauce. Doc Ustingham, Enor Perro, @FarvyGirl and the rest return for a spin-off of the hit series - and this time, there’s a new star. Ringer Smith: a gerontonaut. A man barely alive… readers, we can rebuild him.

[1] Roleplay Production Office

by **Graintfjall** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 7:33 am

Posted on StatsPunk, a statistic-themed sports blog that is your #1 stop if you want to find out which player made the most forward carries, which team completed the highest percentage of xG>0.6 passes, and how to make a killing betting on all that shit.

Where do the world’s best players play? Chromatika, Nephara, and definitely not Græntfjall

1. Chromatika and Nephara lead the way

2. Some nations prefer to eat at home

see our previous post

better

3. While others subsist exclusively on takeaway

4. Who mourns for Hebitaka?

by **Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 8:57 am

Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove starts the qualifications with a win

Sacré-Coeur district, Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - On matchday 1, Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-stove received Frontiere at Terrain de soccer 1 au complexe sportif national, located in the Sacré-Coeur district. The match was played under light rain but it was still playable. The Jean-Jacquois and Burnhamese attacked at the 22nd minute when Alyssa McCaskill made a cross to Allie O'Hara who kicks the ball and it's a goal. The Tapirs are leading 1-0. Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove almost increased their lead at the 38th minute when Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau kicks the ball but Jules Félix made a fantastic save by diving to the left. Frontiere attacked at the 55th minute when Waltier Duchamps made a header to Thibault Favreau who heads the ball but it hits the cross bar and goes over the net. The Tapirs attacked at the 83rd minute but Olivier Charbonneau tackles Kyle Klingenberg in the penalty area and it's a penalty for the Tapirs. Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau shoots and it's a goal! The score is 2-0 Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove and this is the final score.

On matchday 2, the Jean-Jacquois and Burnhamese will receive Adab and heavy rain is expected. Then on matchday 3, the Tapirs will travel to The Licentian Isles. Kyle Klingenberg is expected to miss the next two games but he's not on the starting XI so it remains unchanged. On matchday 1, Pemecutan won and Elmyia beat Adab. Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove actually leads group 10 with a better goal differential.

22nd minute: Goal by Allie O'Hara assisted by Alyssa McCaskill
29th minute: Pierre-Antoine Bigeault-Généreux gets a yellow card
35th minute: Thierry Dufort gets a yellow card
49th minute: Alyssa McCaskill gets a yellow card
71st minute: Félix Bourguignon gets a yellow card
83rd minute: Olivier Charbonneau gets a yellow card
83rd minute: Goal by Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau (penalty)

Paul-André Veilleux

by **Aleirave** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 9:03 am

A Strong Start

"Couldn't have asked for a much better start there, Haulafo..."
"You're dang right about that Ivan... already doing a lot better than that disaster of a CAFA."

The two managers certainly had a lot to celebrate, as their first time working together had led to a 3-1 win in Rea San Vegas, pushing them to a joint second in the group after the first matchday. Cardenao had lost to Brusseldorf and Baker Park, despite pushing five past pot 7 Hapilopper, had failed to get more than one point, meaning that the Seagulls lie only behind a certain team that had won by three goals compared to their two.

Too bad that team happened to be the one everyone on the island would be comparing the Seagulls to this cycle.

"Alrighty squad, huddle up!" Ivan Shakarov yelled out.

"Did we do a good job?" Neraveke Ho'uminalu asked her managers.
"Of course you did, that was an incredible start!" Haulafo replied. "There are just a couple things I think we need to talk about before the home opener against Hapilopper."
"Did Tefei'o do something wrong?" Efineha Tesuna'e asked Haulafo.
"Hey, why is it always about me?" her twin brother lashed out.
"Because it just is, ever since we were little and you were picking daisies while our teams always got stomped, remember?"
"Shut up--"

"No, no, it's not about either of you..." Haulafo interjected. "It's just... the Hapiloppian team seems scarier than we were expecting. Like, a LOT scarier. They put five past Baker Park and they'll do the same against us if we aren't careful. We need to make sure we have a game plan--"

"Ivan put you up to this didn't he?" Nakelia Lifevaneka asked.
"Now now, what makes you think that?"
"It's the first time you've ever worried this much about our game plan? Whatever happened to playing by vibes, huh?"
"Well--"

"You're right, I did ask him to bring it up." Ivan explained. "As much as playing by vibes is a good thing, going into things with at least a bit of a game plan can't ever hurt. We want to be on two wins going into the Eshialand match, right? We need that to be a game for the top spot, to set us apart from them and everyone else. Just a half hour of preparation can't hurt us, now can it?"

"He did have a lot of good results last year..." Haulafo reasoned. "And yeah, I know you weren't really big fans of his more results-oriented ways, but we're working together now. I'll keep him from being too serious about everything, and he'll make sure that all of you are ready for whatever comes your way. Island vibes are a great way of playing football, and we've proven that... but having as few surprises as possible can't exactly hurt our chances, can they?"

"What are you doing there Pyotr?"
"Oh hey Alimako, I'm just setting up for the match against Hapilopper!"

For the first four years of Aleirave's WCQ participation, their home football grounds had been just a grassy patch in on the outskirts of Lahaira, and this had served the team well. After all, it was what they were used to, very informal and homey. However, Pyotr Shafikov was doing a little work on the side for the AFA: finally installing the first seats at the grounds, now christened Lahaira National Field. They weren't that big, only room for a couple hundred people at best, but hopefully it would make it easier than it was before, back when people would be hopping up and down trying to see past the heads of the spectators in front of them.

"Do we really need all this--" Alimako asked Pyotr.
"Well, from what I've heard, there are plans for a new stadium in the future, but I figured that these seats would just make things easier for people in the meantime..."
"Whaaaaatever."

"Oh hi Pyot-- WHAT?"

Clearly, Haulafo wasn't expecting Pyotr to be doing this when he returned to the island.

"Oh hi Haulafo! Look, we finally have seats here!! Now people won't have to stand up for two hours just to watch the match!"
"It's ruined the area-- these big ugly seats don't go well here at all! And what makes you think you can do something like this without even asking first anyway--"
"Really? I think they fit in quite nicely, still pretty quaint while being generally more convenient--"

"You're just lucky there's nobody else on the island willing to replace you right now... I'll leave the seats up for the next match and see what the people think of it, but if they don't like them, I'm definitely seeing about replacing you with someone who asks before they make rash decisions."

"Don't worry sir, I promise the spectators will absolutely love them! Especially the visiting ones who aren't used to our way of life."

by **Sarzonia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 9:59 am

It takes a lot for a manager whose team lost its opening match to crack a smile.

Especially when it's someone like Brady Reynolds, the manager of the Sarzonian national football team, and especially after his team conceded four goals in their opening match, a 4-2 defeat at the hands of Darmen.

"Coach, what do you make of Coach Foss's comments before the match?"

Reynolds' eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he began. "If it doesn't have to do with our team, I pay no never mind," he said, affecting a drawl with the words never mind.

"Coach Foss said, and I quote, 'We've absolutely no shot at qualifying. 'Being drawn into a group of death was the last thing we needed, but that's exactly what we've got'." When the reporter relayed the comment to Reynolds, he chuckled.

"I don't know if that's meant to be reverse psychology or he really believes that," Reynolds said. "But it seems funny to me that you'd say you have no chance of qualifying before the first match even kicks off."

Reynolds was asked why Sarzonia opted not to play any pre-qualifying friendlies to get the team ready for international football after missing the previous two World Cups.

"By the time we decided to get the team back together, the fed [Incorporated Football Federation] felt we didn't have enough time to arrange for an appropriate match or two against international opponents." Reynolds responded with slight irritation when he was asked if he felt that was accurate.

"Look, I'm not the one who makes that decision," he said. "I believe we could have arranged a couple of matches to get our feet wet before the real matches began. With that being said, we had just enough time to get in a good training camp beforehand."

As for the other question that dominated the pre-World Cup cycle, Reynolds declined to comment.

"Look, everything's been said already about what happened with Vilita and their client states," he said. "I'm not in a position to answer questions about geopolitical BS," he said. "I'm here to answer questions about football in general and this team in particular.

As for the match itself, Reynolds said he was happy with the way his team responded to a 3-0 halftime deficit as Sarzonia scored the first two goals of the second half within 20 minutes of the second half kickoff. He said he was disappointed with the way the defence responded to the direct free kick goal by forward Kennard Hale in the seventh minute.

"We got rattled," he said. "It's definitely the mark of a team that hadn't played a meaningful football match in a while. We're gonna need to get that straightened out real fast."

Sarzonia will not get much of a reprieve the next two matches, as they have a second consecutive away match to 59th ranked Xanneria before their first match at Dave Wilson Stadium against No. 34 Kandorith.

"Whoever came up with the schedule should be tarred, feathered and shot," Reynolds said.

by **Xanneria** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 10:37 am

Late Surge sees Farf win!
http://www.xtrasports.xan

FARFADILLIS - Playing world number six right off the bat can do a number to a teams confidence. It can make a team shaky if things go to wrong, but at the same time if there's a talent gap, a close loss can still look as good as a win. Xanneria played world #6 Farfadillis at the La Fantás stadium, the infamous burning stadium of Farfadillis. While this turned away a large chunk of the away fans from showing up, over 100 Maroon and Gold clad fans took to the stadium thsnk to.some rich fans helicopter charters. We can confirm at least 84 of them came back safe. The game was played in heat and not just from the eternal flame but from a spring heatwave in Farfadillis.

The game saw Gordie LaPoint in goal and he did a great job taking on a few early potshots from the violent attacking styles of the Farf striker corps. LaPoint as a domestic player has been one of the steadiest keeper in the Xannerian Domestic scene the last few years consistently putting up a spectacular save or two in every game it feels like. The Sandy Stopper as he's known due to his hair color and thick sandy blonde beard has been a breath of fresh air for the Carelton Park Rangers. But the Rangers have not been able to keep pace with the league on offense and he's now been put up to transfer.

The Xannerian Maroons struck first! Bryse Papp took a shot from just outside the penalty area, Pete Ross was able to get a jump and head the ball and deflected the trajectory just enough to get it past a diving Básilió Fórténté. That would give the Maroons a 1-0 lead early and the 100 away fans who happened to be huddled in the section behind him let him know. Calling home names such as "Baseball Fortnite" and "Basil Sauce Fork". Fórténté would use that as fuel and would make crucial saves. The comeback was on in the second half as Dénes Robineau took a pass from Odalis Pokéésé and slammed it into the back of the net with force! It would be Odalis Pokéésé who would then get the game winner by a clearly fatigued LaPoint after he sailed one over the head of a sweaty sandy blonde haired man. A 2-1 win over a much more stellar Farf team should still be a win for the Maroons

Farfadillis - 2
Robineau 62'
Pokéésé 84'

Xanneria - 1
Ross 29'

by **Baggieland** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 11:42 am

Madame Xianggu

Madame Xianggu was a disreputable pirate captain who commanded a powerful fleet of ships operating out of Cunningham Island. She plundered her way from the Nordsjø Sea to the Straits of B71, sometimes even being so bold as to attack Baggieland's major settlements, despite its military superiority.

She was born Lei Xianggu in 1798, the only child of the notoriously ruthless Lei family. They were members of the Hokken tribe: a community of boat-people on Cunningham Island, Baggieland's furthest territory. The Hokken were different to Baggies; they actually used their fingers to eat lasagna, instead of the ethnocentric spoon.

At the age of 16, Lei Xianggu decided to celebrate her passing into adulthood by persuading a few other Hokken – as a drunken dare – to commandeer a ship that was anchored just off the coast. Now she was in command of her own 16-gun sloop and a life of buccaneering had begun.

At the height of her vocation she was in command of over twenty ships, pillaging her way not only around Baggieland, but also far out to sea in international waters.

In 1832 she negotiated a surrender to King Alsqueak that allowed her to avoid prosecution and live a comfortable life from the proceeds of her loot. However, just four years later the King would ask Madame Xianggu to come out of retirement for one last nautical sortie.

*Pic of Madame Xianggu was copied off a google image search, but it does look like it was AI generated (by someone else).
Map of Baggieland was wholly created by myself.

by **Indusse** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 11:55 am

IFA Today
Victory, Set Go!

BREAKING NEWS:
The Indussean national team started their journey in the ninety fifth edition of the World Cup with a victory against the Vilwandiese National Team. Both the teams who met in their respective first matches this world cup, ended a game where Indusseans saw victory against the White Stars for a score of two goals against one. The teams met at the Aditya Varma Kulashekara International Stadium, the home ground of the Indussean National Team. The stadium officials noted that the match had around 131,500 spectators to watch and the Indussean Fan base as expected came out to be the majority eventually turning the Vilwandiese fans to a mere minimal number. It has to be noted that the spirit of the fans of the Vilwandiese team is commendable. Eventhough they knew they're going to end up in a corner in the stadium they were ready with chants and support for their team. The team didn't really disappoint them since they ended up closing the match with a really close fight of a goal against two.

Eventhough it isn't a really big win, the fans are jubilant like every other victory. Social media is abuzz with celebration as supporters express their pride and excitement for the team's impressive performance. Memes, cheers, and congratulatory messages flood online platforms, creating a sense of unity and pride among the Indussean fanbase. The consensus is clear: the victory is a testament to the team's skill and determination, sparking hope and optimism for future matches. The Players ended up stating that this consensus is what that should remain till the end of the season and is meant to help them go forward this edition. At the same time, the atmosphere in the home ground was nothing short of electric as fans erupted in cheers, waving flags and singing chants in unison. As the final whistle blew sealing the 2-1 win, It was a moment of collective celebration enforcing the strong bond between the Indussean National Football Team and its devoted fanbase.

Indusse 2 - 1 Vilwandia
Mersiàs 12'
Mersiàs 33'
Rahul B Kumar [Y]
Adriaan Brown [Y]
Sibanda 90+5'

Group 13 First Half - Indusse Fixtures
MD1 : Indusse 2 - 1 Vilwandia
MD2 : Ethane v Indusse
MD3 : Indusse v Damukuni
MD4 : Sharktail v Indusse
MD5 : Indusse v Banija
MD6 : The Holy Empire v Indusse
MD7 : Indusse v Santa-Barbara

by **Flavovespia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 12:09 pm

Sudilia 0 - 2 Flavovespia

Flavovespia put in a decent performance to get their World Cup 95 Qualifiers off to a good start. Despite conceding a penalty, Flavovespia were able to keep a clean sheet and saw off any danger, to get the three points.

Away from home to begin, Flavovespia put out a squad that on paper was one of their stronger based on squad selection. With David Lyons on the bench, Jonathan Bagshaw would start with the captains armband for the first time, a sign Augusto Rinaldi sees him as the future leader for the squad. A fair contingent of Flavovespian fans had travelled to Sudilia, creating a yellow and black section in the ground.

From the kickoff, Flavovespia looked the more settled despite being the away side. Sudilia had some nerves it seemed, and made errors in passing that broke down attacks and left their defence in danger. It was a loose pass that cost Sudilia in the 13th minute. Ophidia Barrette didn’t put enough power on the grounded pass, and Jonathan Bagshaw got his foot out to intercept. He took off, beating Barrette, before sizing up Eliot Boulay. Boulay closed the angle, but Bagshaw lifted the shot up over Boulay’s outstretched leg, and into the back of the net near the far corner. Flavovespia had the lead in 13 minutes, capitalising on an error.

The goal seemed to have woken up Sudilia, and the mistakes were reduced in the rest of the first half. They were better in moving the ball around the centre of the park, although Charles Adams was proving hard to beat. There were some passes over the top, but success with them was limited. Luca Dubois briefly got in over the back, but a heavy touch meant Nathan Crewe smothered the ball before the shot got away. Nathan Crewe was nearly tested in the 32nd minute, by an Ariane Mongrain curling shot from long range that was only narrowly wide. Flavovespia had chances of their own Jonathan Bagshaw found himself under stronger marking but still played in both Michael Cole and Anthony Lane for shots on target, with Boulay doing well. Kieron Player also tested Boulay with a direct free kick, but a deflection off the wall took the sting off the shot before it could really threaten the goal. 0-1 it was at the break, Flavovespia doing well but wanting the comfort of more goals.

The second half began with Flavovespia looking the more assured after the break. Sudilia had a determination to find a goal, but were often running themselves into trouble, with good pressing from the Flavovespian midfield, and a sturdy back four. Flavovespia came close twice to scoring again before the hour mark, Stuart Cookson had a header from a corner tipped just wide. Seconds later, Anthony Lane hit a half-volley from not far out, but skied it over the bar by some margin. Aside from that, Flavovespia had started the second half as well as they’d hoped.

Flavovespia would get their second in the 71st minute, to double their advantage. Sudilia pushed forward, but it was their undoing as Stan Scott-Wilson dispossessed Jordan Lyle. A quick pass saw Amrik Singh in space and he broke clear. In line with the box, he lofted in a cross, and Michael Cole beat his marker to head it past Boulay and into the back of the net. 0-2, one of Flavovespia’s most decorated strikers was off the mark in the Qualifiers this time around, as he chases Scott Coleman’s all time goal tally.

Sudilia had a great opportunity to get back into it in the 79th minute. Lyle Taylor darted into the box, and drew the foul from Stan Scott-Wilson, and it was a penalty for the home side. The taker stepped up and put it out of reach of Nathan Crewe, but too far leftwards. It went wide of the post, and into the crowd behind the goal. Disappointment for the hosts, a big chance squandered and not much time left.

Flavovespia after that brief scare had control, and were looking relaxed as the minutes ticked down to the end. Whilst they couldn’t create any more clear cut chances, they’d already done enough, and the game would finish 0-2 to them. In the end, whilst they had a few challenging periods, their skill shone through to bring home the 3 points. It was the start Flavovespia wanted as they sought a 5th consecutive World Cup appearance.

by **Trolleborg** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 1:18 pm

Greetings, compatriots!
It’s TTV with a second installments of films from the Second Sport Cinema Festival. As always, we take three random films out of pre-selected pool of the most interesting products, stand out for a... almost anything, to be precise: it’s enough to have good plot, unusual moves, special work and skills of the filming crews, in their subject matter, the relevance of the questions posed, the topics raised and proposed for discussion, even controversiality – anything of value is counted as good reason to include any production into the list.

First of the films today will be “Get on the Cart!”, dedicated to the IAC which took place in the medieval state of Belnegau. Our team almost achieved victory there, stopping one step away from it, but this plot as such is depicted in several other films, and this one is dedicated to the circumstances under which the tournament took place: first of all, the tremendous difference in cultures. The difficulties encountered by the guests of the country, the reaction of local residents and state leaders to what was happening are beautifully and vividly described, and the problems experienced by the inhabitants of Belnegau, who experienced perhaps a greater shock from these visitors who burst into a completely different place with their views, are also depicted with great skill and sympathy. Moreover, the film included not only those with fans from Trolleborg, but also several noisy episodes with the participation of visitors from other countries. Many conflicts related to differences of views have been pictured, from the attempts of the Trolleborg national leader to sell an armored personnel carrier to the leader of the feudal private army to the famous repentance of fans from a certain country, who violated several taboos at once and were forced, as punishment, to make a circle around the city walls, accompanied by self-flagellation. Moreover, all this was done simultaneously with the precision of a camera capturing the scene and at the same time in an attempt to understand the “other”, who is separated from us by several mental walls, thick like the bastions of the fortress in Torghils on the west of our country.

And the second film for today represents foreign cinematography. Its name was translated into troll language as “Objective indicator”. Not all realities, while depicted with care, thoroughness and sincere dejection, are obvious to the domestic viewer, so the question was even raised about adding a sort of AI assistant to the film, who would portray a character passively present on the screen and give comments that clear the meaning of phenomena and events that are unusual for our society, or some kind of active glossary, but in the end it was decided to leave everything as it is. At the center of the plot is a conflict between a coach and the president of a certain club, the former tries to insist that the main thing in football is a beautiful game, the progress of players in skill and the pleasure of fans, and the second believes that the success of a club must be assessed by “objective indicators”, and he implying financial data. The coach's position is complicated by the fact that he is essentially an employee with minimal rights, subject to dismissal at the whim of the president at any moment - as we learn over the course of the film, this particular coach is already the 103rd in the previous 40 years. Moreover, the president can sell any player at any time, without consulting anyone and taking this situation for granted. The coach himself, however, is still a tall figure in the world of coaching, who knows how to get victories and forge a team, so the president needs to make decisions with some caution. The film, we must warn you, is of a rather minor key, and the objective indicator in the finale turns out to be the box office collected at home games. In connection with which it is expected that the stands, on which the army of devoted, but poor, fans, usually sit, will be demolished and replaced with VIP-boxes, since from them the profit is much greater, while at the same the best forward is sold abroad – and the coach, receiving bonus, after a while bows his head and continues to work.

by **Savojarna** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 1:55 pm

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Angry Virulainen unhappy after spectacular 3-3 draw

By Anders Hellberg

“I’m sorry for these words, but we were all pretty shit today at the back. That was some U-15 level of coordination, and I think the defenders and me all owe Rasmus a pint or two”.
The words that veteran goalkeeper Aleksandra Virulainen found following her team’s 3-3 draw away against Milchama were clear, and perhaps a bit harsher than what we’d expect after starting a crucial World Cup qualifier with a point away against a much higher ranked nation. But the keeper was not without a point: In the first thirty minutes, Savojarna’s defence conceded three massive mistakes, and with a little less luck it could easily have been 0-3 at this time already. The Northlights still went down 0-2 before the break, but clawed themselves back into the game thanks to a heroic willpower effort and a standout performance from CASK Thorsborg striker Rasmus Medberg Hansen, who scored two of the Northlights’ three goals.

That seemed far away ten minutes into the game, however, when Jakub Jaranski played a terribly casual backpass towards Hatun, who can’t really be blamed for not expecting this leisurely played ball to the centre. Unsurprisingly, Dani Kaleten managed to intercept the ball, and it was only luck that saw the ball go wide and made the nearly sold out National Stadium with its over 100’000 spectators gasp. What should have been a warning shot did not turn out that way as only six minutes later, it was Röysveit’s time to head a ball out after a corner to a place where both Sadianov and Viipuri expected the other one to collect it, and this time Len Fleming did nod on Wongstein’s cross back into the box to beat Virulainen. The same Virulainen did get her foot onto the ball when a mistimed offside trap saw Interlasskoti have a free lane to the goal, denying the Milchamian forward their first goal of the campaign. With three of the four Milchamian strikers having had their go, Yoni Flominon also got the spotlight a few minutes later, and while their shot got deflected over the bar by Virulainen, the following corner saw nobody observing Clara Tresa sneak away in the back and be completely alone by the far post, beating a chanceless Virulainen.

Thankfully, the Savojars somewhat managed to grasp themselves following a tirade from their keeper, who seemed to be able to organise the team a little better. But still, Milchama dominated proceedings, getting some dangerous crosses towards Fleming; Virulainen had to make another major save from close range before finally, Savojarna got their first chance on a counter after the following corner. It was a little stroke of luck on the hands of the Savojars that would get them their first goal, however. A long ball from Strid was secured by Roman Sadianov, but Jaranski’s pass attempt to Novikov ended up deflected - in a way that bounced perfectly into the path of Rasmus Medberg Hansen, allowing him to beat Carter on pure speed and slot the ball coldly past Fletcher Archman in the way he has done to so many SFS A keepers in the past seasons.

The goal and the changes Maersk made at half time, replacing Jaranski with Orakhin and deploying him alongside Sadianov as a duo of ball winners, seemed to give Savojarna stability. In defence, Strid - who had a bad game - was replaced by Magnusson, and things started to work together better, with Novikov on the left side taking on a playmaker-esque role from the wings, most attacks going over his side. It was him that found a pass to the back room, where Tretjakov almost found the equaliser if it wasn’t for Gal Dale managing a spectacular block to clear to a corner. The scene seemed to give Savojarna hope whereas Milchama were slowing the game down, trying to hold on to their 2-1 lead - that is, until Orakhin lost the ball in an advanced position against Ben Johnson, and on the counter, Hatun was too late to stop Kaleten before Virulainen’s bad positioning opened a free pass to Flominon for an easy 3-1. With Milchama up like that again, Savojarna looked shaken, but found their stride thanks to another tirade from Virulainen and impulses from the bench.

Maersk reacted early to bring on Sven Ehlers as a second striker, and the change did help leaving Medberg Hansen less isolated up front. A cross by Krogstrup ended up collected by the CASK striker, who did set up his colleague off the bench to score the 2-3 that gave Savojarna new hope before an all out attack, driving Milchama back and managing to rally around their new found hope, but struggling to find goals - until a ranged shot by Tretjakov bounced off a leg, then off another, and in front of a poaching Rasmus Medberg Hansen, who crowned his strong performance with a second goal to secure an important point away. Crowned Man of the Match by the Savojar fans on the TV, the CASK striker was happy with his performance. “It’s never good to go down early like this, and we’ve not started as well as we wanted, but I’m happy I could do my job and help the guys turn it around”, he said after the game to STV. His colleague and teammate Jakub Jaranski, meanwhile, was critical with himself. “I did make some mistakes I can avoid, and we need to work on some individual problems in training. It’s always hard to get the coordination right straight away with a national team that doesn’t play together so much, but that’s not the excuse for some of the mistakes we’ve made, and we have to improve”, he said.

The program becomes harder in the upcoming double header in December. Savojarna are due to receive Flavovespia in what will likely be a frosty but passionate Sjoedrhavn game, clearing off both top seeds in the first two games. Then, the Northlights travel away to Valentine Z for another crucial game against a top seed, after which the campaign will truly have taken shape before the new year begins.

Milchama 3-3 Savojarna (2-1)
National Stadium, Alexandria/MIL, attendance: 104’292

Goals: 16’ Fleming 1-0 (Wongstein), 27’ Tresa 2-0 (Flominon), 41’ Medberg Hansen 2-1, 63’ Flominon 3-1 (Kaleten), 77’ Ehlers 3-2 (Medberg Hansen), 86’ Medberg Hansen 3-3.
Yellow Cards: 22’ Hatun, 34’ Viipuri, 55’ Carter, 71’ Sadianov (all foul).

Savojarna: Virulainen - Viipuri (56’ Krogstrup), Röysveit, Hatun (69’ Thelander), Strid (46’ Magnusson) - Jaranski (46’ Orakhin) - Novikov, Sadianov (69’ Ehlers), Tretjakov, Gyldenström - Medberg Hansen.

Savojar squad for MD 2-3 (starters in bold)
GK: Virulainen, Hilde
DF: Viipuri, Krogstrup, Röysveit, Hatun, Vikarby, Thelander, Strid, Magnusson
MF: Jaranski, Orakhin, Sadianov, Tretjakov, Vingegaard, Bryzgalov, Novikov, Nygaard, Gyldenström, Tepparainen
ST: Medberg Hansen, Ehlers, Alvesen

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 2:53 pm

WORLD CUP 95: MATCHDAY 1 - AN ODE

By Isaac, Prince Imperial
(the worst poet in the multiverse)

We trained
For Matchday 1 against Ethane
And made them feel pain
As we drove them insane
In the brain
And made them feel lame
In the game
Which we won 4-1 at home, I claim
When winning against Ethane

Say, this rhyming dictionary is really useful!
Why haven't I used one before?

But yes, back to the game
Against Ethane
Which I believe I do deign
To claim
We won 4-1 (or so says my secretary Jane).

Oh yes, my secretary Jane
She drinks champagne
But never touches cocaine
Though was previously coxswain
On her rowing team (must find rhyme to insert here).

So in the game
Against Ethane
A winning start we sought to sustain
Our forwards were like a hurricane
And shot the ball like a power train
That would have broken a window pane
If they weren't playing in a stadium, where there are no glass panes.
That would be really stupid (or possibly insane)
Who would place next to the pitch a window pane?
Except idiots.

So we won the match against Ethane!
We treated their defence with disdain!
As we played in our home domain
And a win we did attain
Against Ethane.

It was a great way to start the campaign
With a win against that team (Ethane!)
In the pouring rain
And the opposition we have slain;
The opposition called Ethane
Who are very low in the World Cup food chain.

Incidentally, I hope I'm pronouncing Ethane
Correctly; if not, that would be a shame.

And now with the win against Ethane
And having coughed up some mucous membrane
That was blocking my left gastric vein
I'm reading for matchday 2, where it might be humane
To win the game
Or our coaches might complain
That we didn't try hard enough to win the game.

But we certainly tried to win the game
Against Ethane
Or so I do declaim!

by **Elmyia** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 3:06 pm

The Overlap
Speight's New Role Comes With Pros and Cons

Here come the new look Elmyia, and compared to Porras' previous iterations there were some notable changes. The restoration of Speight to the midfield might appear to be somewhat of a full circle moment, her 61 caps trace all the way back to Elmyia's first international, yet her role against Adab was different to the role she performed for Massi and different to the one carved out for Marakakis.

When Speight previously filled a role for the national side she came in for much derision. She lacked the positional sense for the zonal system Massi wanted to play, paired with Kit Simmons she both failed to offer flair, or much of a safety blanket to allow him to distribute with freedom. Speight's passing has always been fairly pedestrian, she also lacked much punch in the opposition box, 5 goals in 61 international caps doesn't exactly scream excitement. In her time away, however, she's found a new role for herself. Those putting it unkindly would term her the shithouser in chief. Provider of trips, fouls and gamesmanship. Inexplicably un-yellow carded, she'd glide about providing copy for papers and anger for the opposition.

But to simplify her down to simply a neeky committer of fouls would be to undersell a footballer coming into her own. Servetto's tapped into something that naturally suits her game. She's excellent at marking an opposing player and ruining their whole entire day. Repeatedly in the big games at club level, she's been trusted to suppress some of the league's most creative players, usually with great success. This isn't purely dark arts, she's highly alert, committed and has a decent tactical brain.

Compared to Marakakis, Elmyia found a certain level of upside from her being in the team. Marakakis' key assets had often been the undoing of Elmyia at points. Marakakis likes to always pass forward, with maximum ambition. She likes to pick up positions in-between the oppositions defensive and midfield lines. Both of these are great attributes at times. However, given Elmyia already commit both full backs and their wingers forward, with Galli and Benedetti also going forward, that leaves little in the way of a defence should the ball get turned over. With Marakakis indulging her exuberance, the ball does often get turned over.

Speight's other upside comes courtesy of Benedetti breaking back into the lineup. A forward who likes to drop back into space, with Marakakis on the pitch they often clogged the same spaces. Speight's willingness to drop deeper means no one is replicating each other's work on the pitch.

In match then and Elmyia faced an Adab side that were difficult to break down. Having bagged an early lead, courtesy of Silva heading home a Beresford corner, Elmyia looked to be sinking to a gritty draw. Speight had brought about what you'd expect. Her massive upside out of possession had protected the defence. The opposition midfield weren't able to find the easy breaks that had been the Achilles heel for Elmyia during the previous campaign. Equally, facing two banks of four on the edge of the box, Speight did not offer all that much. Galli, an aggressive box to box player, also struggled to find the sort of spaces she needs to make a difference.

Ultimately, though, the savoir-faire of the front three was plenty to drag Elmyia through. Benedetti has a habit of drifting where the space is, and this happened to be about 35 yards back, with 8 players between him and goal. Froggatt, unable to bag her customary goal here, did play her role, she darted in, dragging in a centre and full back, allowing Katsouranis a deep run in off the left. An excellent long pass, a classy first touch and the player who's helped drag Urrhed FC back into Chromatika's top tier found herself the hero, bagging a win in the national side's qualifying return.

Questions remain then over whether Speight will always be the best option moving forward. Elmyia certainly found themselves exposed on the counter less, Kit Simmons looked relatively untroubled, where he's often forced to put fires out. Against packed defences, however, and Speight might find that her qualities fail to fully shine through.

by **City of Myrtle Beach** » Wed Nov 15, 2023 3:45 pm

MCNsports | World Cup 95

Matchday 1 | Group 2
Eshialand City SuperDome, Eshialand City | 66F Sunny | Kickoff 6:00 pm | Attendance: 39,554

Eshialand 5

2 Myrtle Beach

Longfield 16', 64'
12' Stevens

MacDougall 37'
84' Fulton

Harran 55'
[YELLOW] 75' Mathis

Carroll 77' (pen.)

Myrtle Beach took the field against Eshialand in a city that looks suspiciously like that one place in Quebec for the first matchday of the World Cup Qualifiers yesterday. It didn't go particularly well for Myrtle Beach, but it was a far better result than anyone was expecting. The vast majority of people, including myself, expected Eshialand to completely blowout Myrtle Beach 100-0 or something, owing to their previous World Cup experience. Of course, that was never going to happen- it's football, 90% of it is boring- but, it was expected to be something along those lines. Thankfully, the Myrtle Beach team, fresh from the Baptism of Fire, were able to sneak in a couple of goals.

Fortunately, this match did not lead to anyone, players or spectators, being mutilated, injured, or killed due to some antics by the Myrtle Beach team. Also a point of happiness for the Myrtle Beach fans, they did not yet have to witness the horrors of the multiverse as Eshialand seemed like a relatively normal country other than the fact that Eshialand City looked just like that one place in Quebec that they just couldn't put their finger on.

Myrtle Beach took an early lead 12 minutes into the match with a goal by Justin Stevens, which led to massive cheering throughout the unfortunate part of the stadium that had to hold several thousand Myrtle Beach fans. Some people said they even saw cracks form beneath them, but that's probably just hallucinations from how their brains were being destroyed from the screeching of the fans. Unfortunately for them, their celebration was cut short when Alyssa Longfield kicked the equalizer between the hands of Parker Chase. That mostly led to confusion among the fans- if women were allowed in this competition, why didn't they have any? The Myrtle Beach women's league was far superior.

The remainder of the half passed incredibly slowly for Myrtle Beach fans as the ball passed between the sides of the field like the two teams were playing tennis. This continued for... a while until Avery MacDougall slid a ball beneath Chase in the 33rd minute to put Eshialand up 2-1. "This is okay," the fans thought. "All we need to do is regroup and we can still win!" Unfortunately, their optimism went unanswered as nothing else happened during the half. It's 30-15 for Eshialand in the first set.

During halftime, Myrtle coach James Robinson ran onto the pitch and threw a mysterious metal object in the air, then ran back inside. Nobody knows where it went, as it seemed to disappear after a few seconds. Maybe it was just some kind of collective hallucination, like the sun turning colors or Myrtle Beach existing. Either way, the Myrtle team returned to the pitch for the second half of pain. A few huge kicks across the field and one attempt "on goal" by Stevens that landed just a few dozen feet to the right, Jacob Harran majestically kicked the football straight into Parker Chase's chest, who fell back into the goal and put Eshialand up 3-1 in the 55th minute. "Well, that's a bit disappointing," the Myrtle Beach fans thought, "but we've come back from this kind of situation before!" They had, but usually it involved some cataclysmic event removing an opposing forward from the timeline and unfortunately time bending is not allowed anymore. How boring.

A few more sad minutes passed as Myrtle Beach fans slowly got up to go find their daily infusion of edible material before Longfield for Eshialand once again scored, putting them up... 4-1 in the 64th minute. Unfortunately, the optimism displayed by Myrtle Beach fans did not continue after this goal as I saw a lot of them start acting like hooligans which... honestly lines up perfectly with the international vision of someone from Myrtle Beach. This discontent with the team continued when Cameron Mathis tried to pull the sun down from the heavens and the ref stopped him and gave him a yellow card. It was in the penalty box, too, so there came Alice Carroll to kick the fifth goal for Eshialand, extending their lead to four after Parker Chase showed another reason for him to get cut from the roster.

At this point, the Myrtle Beach fans had finished rooting for their team and were now only there to see just how many goals could be scored on them before the ref created a mercy rule and ended the game early. Unfortunately for them, Eshialand would not score again. Fortunately for them, Myrtle Beach would finally score again for the first time since the very beginning of the game. Jeremy Fulton did something vaguely resembling gymnastics in the penalty box, wowing the opposing keeper and allowing him to slide a ball in, closing the gap down to 5-2.

And then, as slowly as it began, the game was over. The Myrtle Beach team seemed happy that they were even able to score 2 goals on such a comparatively powerful team, and was pumped for the next game against... Brusseldorf, which isn't anything I've ever heard of but it seems they are still higher than us in the rankings. It's not as much of a gap as Eshialand, however, so it might be less of a beat-down. Who knows? Maybe we'll even draw!

World Cup 95 Roleplay Thread

WCQ-95 MD-1

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