World Cup 89 - Roleplay Thread

[Bollonich]

President’s Office

Tensions were high as three men sat around a table, big questions had to be answered and fast. Banija were on one side while on the other side was Nephara and possibly a horde of other Rushmori nations. We were running out of choices, would be choose to help Banija and provide them a strategic base in Bollonich risking our relation with Nephara and possibly the wider Rushmori community. Admittedly we haven’t had the best relation with Nephara however no animosity existed between the two nations however this could very well lead to it.

“This seems to be the best case scenario for us. The best case scenario to push ahead our agenda with the support of a powerful nation like Banija”

The Secretary of State however wasn’t of the same mind. “We cannot afford to hasty with this decision. Making a decision before we hear anything from the Euran government is risky as we’ll quickly be at blows with the majority of Rushmori nations.”

“What would you have me do then? Sit around? The Banijans need an answer”

“Well, a response is what they’ll get. We need to go about diplomatically. We all would prefer to help Banija but it’s important that we don’t make hasty decisions. I am gonna compose a reply, have a look through it Terry when you can.”

To: His Royal Highness Isebantu Mutungi of Banija
Classification: Officers with Clearance

His Royal Highness Kabaka Mwanga,

We write to you in response to your urgent communique, the proposals made to us look agreeable. We agree that the situation in Nyowani Kitara needs to be dealt with firmly and that the KPWC needs to step down. The support and involvement of Banija in a Pavola issue as such is greatly appreciated.

But our power in the region limits us. We can take no drastic action at the moment nor can we declare support for the KFF with the current situation of politics in Rushmore. The Euran government as mentioned by yourselves haven’t uttered a word yet and if we are to suddenly declare support for the KFF and Eura are to follow in Nephara’s foot steps we shall be at odds with the entirety of Rushmore. Hence we would like to tread more lightly in this situation.

The Banijan Government shall have the complete support from Vreton as our vision of what should happen in Nyowani Kitara is well known. Banija also understands the importance of the Kitaran conflict to even sub-regional politics of Pavola. We would like to bide our time for the moment and wait for an inevitable official response from the Euran government or CRC before getting ourselves in hot water with rest of the region. As the State of Bollonich retains its neutrality, the Banijan armed forces would gladly be hosted within Bollonischian borders for humanitarian purposes only at the moment.

From,
Audie Ecclestone
Secretary of State

[Polkopia]

Polkopia Prepares for Their Upcoming Matches and Discuss the Team Dynamic

The Polkopian team were all stretching before their big match against Jerusalem. Currently, forward Yakoby Kosyo was together with teammate and friend, Danya Siyan, as well as Vadim Išutin and Yuri Smyefinov, and the four of them were lined up along the halfway line. The stretch they were currently performing involved lunging toward the goal box, having their knee softly graze the grass beneath them, before lifting themselves back up and proceeding to the other leg.

"This game right here," Kosyo said, mid-stretch, "I think it should go without saying that it's an important one, but I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous for this one in particular."

"Yeah," Siyan answered, grunting as he leaned forward, feeling his quadriceps stretch every time he leaned forward. He was already lagging behind the rest of his teammates, as he was taking much more time to stretch out his muscles. For a reason unbeknown to him, he had woken up today feeling incredibly sore around his legs, and he had spent much of his morning hydrating and filling his body with potassium to combat this, but still didn't quite feel 100%. "But listen little Yakobinho, we had a really good game when we were away, you in particular, so you just need to shake out all those emotions."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but you know how I am!" Kosyo laughed and looked back at his teammate, "It's much easier said than done for me. After we get done with these stretches, I'll probably head out to the locker room for a bit, but I'll be back!"

"Yeah, you know Yakoby's gotta have some 'me time.'" Išutin said, cupping his hand and moving it back and forth in an obscene gesture.

"Vadim, I don't think even you could get off if you had to look at your ugly mug every day!" Smyefinov yelled out.

Kosyo spat and collapsed on the ground, laughing. His other teammates followed and Išutin yanked a handful of grass from the pitch and threw it at Smyefinov. "You ass!" He said in between laughs.

"Right, well on that note, I'm gonna head out for now. I'll be back in ten or fifteen or so." Kosyo picked himself up and brushed some of the dirt off of his pants. Coach had already dismissed the team several minutes ago, and the majority were making their way back to the locker room to change into their jerseys before the game, whereas others were finishing some last-minute stretches before turning in. Looking around the stadium, Kosyo saw that the stands were already packed with spectators, many of which had already begun singing some of the National Team's chants. He almost felt bad for not joining Siyan and Zubokov when they went to the fan section to sign autographs, but as it was, Kosyo could hardly sleep last night due to nerves. The last thing he needed was to hear his fans talk about how excited they were that Polkopia had a shot at qualifying; all this would have done was put more pressure on him and send his mind racing before the game.

On his way to the locker room, he made brief eye contact with Stepen Azarov, who was standing outside the door, staring down at the concrete walkway leading up to the room prior to him lifting his head to look at Kosyo. Normally, he would already be in the room talking shit about their opponent, Jeruselem, but instead he was out here secluding himself from the rest of the team. Kosyo had noticed that he had been out of sorts lately, but never really bothered to ask what was up. He figured that Azarov was good friends with Slava Panin, who made no secret to hide his distaste for Kosyo and thus assumed that Azarov didn't really care for him either, even though Azarov never really treated him badly.

Kosyo nodded at Azarov when the two of them made eye-contact, but Azarov placed a hand on Kosyo's chest just as he was able to walk past him and into the locker room. "I need to talk to you, Yakoby." Azarov said.

From Azarov's tone, Kosyo immediately knew something was wrong. His tone was far different from that he normally used prior to games, with his voice normally carrying a sort of sarcastic, dry, and humorous aura to it, now seemed very cold and scratched. Azarov wasn't one of Kosyo's best friends my any means, but this side of him seemed unfamiliar even to him. "Yeah, uh, sure." Kosyo said.

Azarov walked Kosyo to the corner of the field, turning around so that their backs were toward the rest of the players making their way over toward the locker room. "Listen, I know Slava very well, alright? He's been... dealing with some stuff lately, and I know he's kind of been a dick to you since this whole World Cup thing began." Azarov said all of this in a hushed whisper so that nobody would overhear the two of them talking, "I don't want to like, defend his actions, because there's no real excuse for the way he's been acting to you, but I know he's sorry and feels bad about it."

Kosyo stood there wide-eyed and silent. He didn't really know what to say at this point. Was this a confrontation? An apology? Why was Azarov speaking one someone else's behalf? Why couldn't Panin come up to him himself and said all of this? Lots of questions were buzzing through Kosyo's mind throughout all of this, but for the moment Kosyo said nothing and let Azarov talk.

"And that little stunt he did in the game against The Jovannic, I mean, I think he took that really hard on top of everything else he's been going through." Azarov said.

"What do you mean, 'going through?'" Kosyo finally asked. Was he supposed to feel bad for the person talking behind his back and treating him like shit for the past few weeks? Panin wasn't the victim here, but now he wanted to paint himself as the one everyone should feel bad for?

Azarov sighed. "Yeah, that's uh... that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't really know how to handle this, but I was hoping you could since your brother is... well anyway, yeah. Slava talked to me the other day and told me that he's been dealing with a lot lately, specifically that he thinks he's gay and doesn't know what to do about it."

Kosyo blinked. "Okay?" Was that all that Panin was going through? For a moment, he almost believed that Panin had experienced a sort of traumatic family event or something of the sort, but gay? I mean, it's a bit different, but that's not a reason to take his anger out on everyone else around him.

"What do you mean, 'okay?'" Azarov leaned forward and widened his eyes as if he couldn't believe Kosyo's reaction.

"I mean, so what? He's gay *and* an asshole? Am I supposed to feel bad for him? What exactly do you want me to do about it?" Kosyo shot back, feeling the annoyance in his voice grow with each word he spoke.

"Well... yes, wait, no. I mean..." Azarov fumbled with words before taking a deep breath and finally saying, "You know, I don't think Slava is comfortable with it yet. I think he told me because I'm his closest friend on the team, but what do you think Zubokov would say? Or Rusakov? It's a little weird to me too, I won't lie, but I don't hate him for it or anything. I was hoping you could maybe talk to him a little bit? Your brother is gay too, isn't he? I think you said that before, so you know how to have these types of conversations, but I don't. I think he's in a very bad mental state right now and just needs someone to talk to him. Could you? Please?"

Kosyo groaned. It's really not how he wanted to spend the little time he had to himself before the match, and he didn't think that Panin was particularly worth the time, but it could prove to be detrimental to the team if their backup striker was already checked out of the tournament prior to to it actually ending.

"Fine." Kosyo said, "But it'll have to be after this game, I need to be in a good headspace for this game and I can't do it if I'm talking about stuff like this when I should be focusing on my game."

Azarov's face immediately perked up. "Yes, yes, that's perfectly fine! Talk to him whenever, but just be careful and don't take anything personal, okay?"

"I know," Kosyo said, allowing himself a small chuckle, "I wouldn't have made it this far if I did."

[Krytenia]

A Point To Prove
By Rami Niblick in Aigburth

SOMETIMES, even a poor result can have interesting consequences. Despite not really hitting top gear against the Grearish Union, as it turned out a draw was still sufficient to keep the Dragons atop Group Fourteen.

Paul Davis said after the game that he was "disappointed" in the way that the team were careless with possession, allowing their opponents to create far too many opportunities and put Ross Okano and Fergal Finnan under extreme pressure. Thankfully, Alun Belmwr and substitute Carlos Senna spared Krytenia's blushes, securing a point late on. Things got better later on in the evening, as Pasarga fell to their first defeat of the campaign at the hands of a Zeta Reka side looking to salvage what they can after a less than brilliant start to qualifying.

All this means that Krytenia have eked out a lead of a solitary point over the Wanderers, though with seven games to go it's absolutely still all up for grabs. Next up for Krytenia are a home tie against Augusticinia here in Aigburth, before travelling to the somewhat nippy Kaldtfjell. Six points should be the order of the day, and will set the Dragons up for a potentially crucial tie in Ousevale against third-placed San Ortelio. Onward!

[Ko-oren]

Naming Contest

The Top League, what a name. By which we mean, what an anticlimactic name. Sure, you're tripping over the Premierships and Premier Leagues out there (very original, guys) so at least the 'Top League' is a rare/unique name. It has that going for it. For the rest, it's just as unimaginative as a 'Premiership' or a 'First Division' (and yes, everyone living in a 'Premier League' paradise: that was intended as an insult. Please be insulted that your football association picked a boring name). Yes, we know the Top League is at the top of the pyramid. But really... a name that's not as 'on the nose', please?

And the KFA agrees. They're having a naming contest for the highest division, as well as the levels that come beneath it (4 levels in total).

Before that, they looked at what the multiverse has cooking. [First letter]-League? Solid, but only gets you 26 uses before you run out. Something tells us there's already a K-League, but that might be me spending too much time on the online hit game RLStates. You could also go for a completely unrelated first letter (looking at you, O-League of Krytenia, where the O stands for Overrated), but that gives us more questions than answers. Actually, now that we think of it, Krytenia left the letter K for us, thank you! Meanwhile Arenecia have picked the apt A-League - well alphabetted!

1. Schutzenfußballsportsligen? Bless you. That brings us to a unique-ish constraint: translations must be possible. There's little sense in a Schutzenfußballsportsligen (or, rather, a Ko-orenfußballsportsligen) if that's going to look like 「コ・オレンフースボールスポーツリゲン」 in Katashi, and they're not going to like that. Good name, but too monolingual. Le Choix' Ligue Légère (though judging from the team names they might mean Lumineuse? I'll have to ask one of the francophone editors about the difference between lightweight and brightly lighted some day) is also not cutting it for our naming scheme for that reason... although, translation problems will always arise. Red League? That's awfully communist of you. We would have appreciated calling the lowest division Starblaydian Purple instead of Indigo (and I think that goes for about 95% of Anaia).

Shoutout to our Mytanar friends who also live under a Top League regime. Reading how other nations name their competitions really makes you think and appreciate 'Top League'. We're accepting Kaldtfjell's Toppliga in the Top family, too.

Please submit your league name proposals, and we'll make a prize for it, and award it in an official ceremony. It'll really be the first (and best) of its kind. Sort of a Premier League of football competition naming.

[Trolleborg]

Greetings, compatriots!
It’s TTV with a summary of two most recent games of the national football team. Things, as you already know, was not looked bright for our lads at the end of the first half of the WCQ, and, it must be acknowledged, they are not much better after these games.

PRATAPGADH – TROLLEBORG 0:1

The first game took place in Pratapgadh, on the very field where our lads suffered such an unpleasant and unexpected defeat in the Indian Cup last season. Fans on the stands wanted a revenge, but we must say that the teamwork did not leave an impression of integrity. If the home team had mastered their nerves, the result could have been completely different from what it turned out to be.

And it all started quite pleasantly for our team: after a corner kick, Gulbranden jumped higher than everyone else and sent the ball with his head - it is not clear, accidentally or deliberately, and then Zhivoglot made incredible scissors kick, and hit the goal from an acute angle.

1:0 in the 5th minute, and it seemed that game that begin in such manner will give fans many chances to rejoice.

But the hosts recovered quite quickly and could have come out ahead even before the break. Twice after the mistakes of our defense, the Pratapgadh forwards had the opportunity to score while being one-on-one with our goalkeeper, but, fortunately, Krog parried the shots both times.

Fortunately, there were no more such a dangerous moments at our gates, but it is obvious that the team has many things to do in defense if it wants to remain contender for the ticket to the WC. And our forwards did not find a common language with each other and were forced to act one by one, so there is work needed to be done here as well. In general, despite the victory, there were no complaints only against the goalkeeper.

TROLLEBORG – MURPHTANNIA 0:0

Murphtannia inflicted the first defeat on our team in the first round, apparently shaking the lad’s confidence in their abilities. And players expressed in pre-match interviews an ardent desire to pay back the debt and equalize the balance of games with this particular opponent. Morten Troghil, however, and this time fielded an experimental lineup, only adding Troll and Valgren to the center of the field and putting forward a pair of Zhivoglot and Berglund.

And, in truth, our footballers could well have taken their own with big interest.
Already in the 3rd minute Zhivoglot robbed the defender of the guests, went one-on-one - and shot straight into the goalkeeper.

On the 7th, Valgren had robbed other defender, moved ball to the Troll in the center, and he made one of his brilliant masterpiece passes. As a result Berglund found himself alone right in front of the goal – and, unfortunately, failed to outplay the goalkeeper

And in about the same spirit, the game continued for almost the entire match, in the second half an episode came out as indicative when, after another pass from Troll, Zhivoglot missed the opportunity to score,clumsily handling the ball after having another tete-a-tete rendezvouz with goalkeeper.

And at the very end of the game, it almost turned out like a game against Ethane – after one of the guests' rare counterattacks, Murphy struck ball with his head, and it almost ricocheted into the goal from our defender. But the crossbar played for our team, helped to deflect shot and the score remained 0:0.

Fortunately, our closest competitors also lost points, but, of course, it would be stupid to count only on such a things. We all would not like to repeat the difficult ending of WCQ-87, when everything had to be decided by lot. By the way, the television drama "Meye" is based on those events, recalling, in addition to that incident, all the episodes when important things in the history of Trolleborg were decided by lot.

It will be broadcasted right after our newsreel.

[Lathamford]

Lathamford National League:: A Snapcheck

CLUB				MANAGER					CAPTAIN				STADIUM
Royal Farrowdraft FC		Leonardo von Featherleaf (HDS)		Greg Fortywolf			Farrowdraft Sport Center (27,900)
Lokomotive Featherwood FC	Anton Glasstriumph			Carter Colfield			Locomotive Arena, Featherwood (27,000)
Rotor Blewbury FC		Osborne Shrivenham			Jonah Hargreave			Wyvernsteam Battlefield, Port Blewbury (24,222)
Dynamo Buttercourt FC		Dean Fritzweather			Clarence Anworth		East Templar Field, Buttercourt (25,000)
Dinamo Thetford FC		Kazlan Springbreaker			Dustin Skelmersdale		Ambershadow Arena, Thetford (28,000)
Spartak Eaglearm FC		Samir Bogdani (CMT)			Conor Retford			Eaglearm Stadium, Eaglearm (12,000)
Goldfinger United FC		Diego Alpenhair				Adam Spixworth			Commonfist Circle, Goldfinger (41,000)
Torpedo Stocksbridge FC		William Slatebinder			Leo Leafbridge			Stocksbridge Electric Hall, Stocksbridge (10,000)
Tractor Grasswind FC		Victor Christenson			Tobias Richfield		Milkygrave Lane, Grasswind (23,000)
Hightrees FC			Josephus Nicholas Batchelor		Calvon Shelton			Throgmorton Memorial Stadium,Hightrees (17,000)

Lathamford Nationwide League:: A Snapcheck

CLUB				MANAGER				CAPTAIN				STADIUM
Red Star Holyrock FC		Adam Froststriker		Kim Heathersword		Hardforest Street, Holyrock (21,700)
Greymont FC			Petar von Clockridge		Zephaniah McCalmont		East Chapel Street Stadium (15,000)
Amberwood FC			Jethro Barnard			Balthasar Curley		The Dream Theatre (25,000)
Bridmouth FC			Leander St.Clair		Asher Merriweather		Ric Rothwell Stadium (19,000)
Folesford FC			Thurston Letterford		Edward Alington			Starcondor Arena (20,000)
Charlie River FC		Leofing Michelgrove		Tori Saltonstall		Aegis Bowl (24,000)
Oakhamton FC			D'Mario Bradford		Omonteez Walker			Phenomenon Arena (15,900)
Farsford FC			Mamillius Horner		Cranmer Gower			The Minutemen Arena (21,000)
Robertham FC			Wendell Garcia			Christian Duncan		The Mystic Battleground (21,000)
Neford FC			Archer Phillips			Zachary Crowe			Mountview Arena (28,000)
Warleton FC			Darrian Gimmet			Deron Fooard			Scorpius Hertz Memorial Stadium @SHMS (17,000)
Witland FC			Alaksiej Doǔnar			Archer Granholm			Samuel Cloy Memorial Stadium (12,000)
Teaham FC			Nilson Morrow			Antiochus Vernon		West Lake Stadium (10,000)
Whitbury FC			Bernardo Faulconbridge		Sampson Criswell		Exporia (19,000)
Inkwell FC			Alistair Hunton-Blather		Jonas Ohlsson			Otley Center (30,000)
Alters FC			Felix Hellqvist			Sam Lindskog			Coughlan Lane (20,000)

Domestic Transfer:: A Snapcheck

Name, Age, Pos.				New Club				Old Club
Russel Springflower, 33, GK		Ret.					Royal Farrowdraft FC
Adam Froststriker, 33, DEF		Ret.					Royal Farrowdraft FC
Sebastian von Apex, 20, DEF		Royal Farrowdraft FC			Thetford Academy
Sebastian de Axehelm, 19, MID		Royal Farrowdraft FC			Tractor Grasswind FC
Otto Baymartin, 34, GK			Ret.					Lokomotive Featherwood FC
Eli Gradwohl, 19, GK			Lokomotive Featherwood FC		Young Stocksbridge FC
Antony Izzard-Crew, 35, DEF		Ret.					Rotor Blewbury FC
Eric Watts, 19, DEF			Rotor Blewbury FC			Port Blewbury Youth FC
Otto Vanderbilt, 25, MID		Rotor Blewbury FC			Dynamo Buttercourt FC
Roscoe Wellington, 22, MID		Dynamo Buttercourt FC			Rotor Blewbury FC
Micah Driggins, 20, FWD			Spartak Eaglearm FC			Goldfinger MA
Bruno Caskwoods, 34, FWD		Ret.					Goldfinger United FC
Dane Retterath, 19, FWD			Goldfinger United FC			Goldfinger MA
Emmitt Saberi, 18, FWD			Goldfinger United FC			Goldfinger MA
Benjamin Strongpike, 35, DEF		Ret.					Torpedo Stocksbridge FC
Ryan Colfields, 18, DEF			Torpedo Stocksbridge FC			Young Stocksbridge
Glen Greenash, 27, GK			Tractor Grasswind FC			Red Star Holyrock FC
Alvaro Romani, 18, MID			Hightrees FC				Buttercourt Academy
Sam du Fugerholds, 19, DEF		Hightrees FC				Grasswind II
Adam Froststriker, Manager		Red Star Holyrock FC			NA
Mikael Orbguard, Manager		Free Agent				Red Star Holyrock FC
Harry Garbert-Smithe, 20, FWD		Amberwood FC				Pinebridge FC
Anton Kostav, 40; FWD			Ret.					Charlie River FC
Sévon Little, 19, FWD			Charlie River FC			Teabridge FC
Richard Seecharan, 38, MID		Ret.					Robertham FC
Ken Kissoon, 19, FWD			Robertham FC				Fomerdon FC
Russel Nicholas, 19, MID		Robertham FC				Wisterby FC
Kai Kaplan, 35, GK			Ret.					Neford FC
Xavier Leefold, 18, DEF			Neford FC				Axridmouth FC
Elbazduko Edziev, 26, MID		Witland FC				Boxfromt FC
Launce Brookfield, 35, MID		Ret.					Teaham FC
Agamemnon Starveling, 34, GK		Ret.					Teaham FC
Hercules Meansley, 18, DEF		Whitbury FC				Oakbridge FC
Wilhelm Hedström, 33, DEF		Ret.					Inkwell FC
Vijay Bridgelay, 19, FWD		Alters FC				Seaton FC

[Hispinas]

Kingdom of Hispinas
Reino de Hispinas | Hispinasko Erreinua | Kaharian ng Hispinas | Gingharian sa Hispinas

Hispinas, with official name of Kingdom of Hispinas, is a nation state located in the continent of Terranea in Eastern Rushmore, and has an estimated population of around 27 million inhabitants, the nation has land and maritime borders with several nations, with Szavoda to the west, a portion of land claimed by Nuevo Caracas to the south, and a maritime border with Pridnestrovia in Pavola to the west. The nation's capital, Mandrid, is located in the central portion of the nation, but the largest city is Cebuenas in the eastern portion.

Etymology

Hispinas' name came from a the union of "Hispania" and "Filipinas", two major ascendants of people currently living in the central and eastern parts of the nation. There were references to a nation called "Hispania y Filipinas", but Hispino historians refute the claim and consider the entity an estranged, separate one from the current inception of the nation.

Administrative Divisions

Hispinas is divided into twelve autonomous provinces, each with a designated capital city. Historians consider three major regions of the nation, with the areas in the western portion being called "Basko Errepublika", due to the high influence of Basko culture and heritage in the three westernmost autonomous provinces, Basko da Gama, Iparbasko, and Ekialdekobasko. The eastern portion of the country is called "Republica Catarungia" due to the four autonomous provinces closely linked with Catarung culture and heritage, and with their flags showing the five orange-white horizontal bars which represent the Catarungs. The remaining independent autonomous provinces are normally called "Independientes", with one of the five states having an increasingly large Rusko influence in the province - Nuevo Transnistria.

Below is the list of Autonomous Provinces and their capitals:

Autonomous Province     Capital                      Flag  
Basko da Gama           Vallezul (Haranurdina)       
Iparbasko               Seviguio (Mendihegalean)     
Ekialdekobasko          Haranbehera                  
Castillo de Mandrid     Mandrid                      
Calanorte               Punta de Malklan             
Magdalena               Vigano                       
Mesetasur               Piedramarilla                
Nuevo Transnistria      Mascardo (Maskagrad)         
Catarungia              Cebuenas                     
Communitat Azucena      Lirio                        
San Felipe              Felipamerigo                 
San Guadalupe           Murosur (Parilsabagatan)     

Ethnic Groups

As highlighted in the administrative divisions section, there are four major ethnic groups for the inhabitants of HIspinas. The majority of the Hispino populace has Hispano ethnicity, especially in the central provinces and some in the eastern portion. These Hispanos have Spanish as their primary language while a certain percentage of Hispanos can understand both Spanish and either Basque, Cebuano, or Filipino language. The next highest percentage of the total population is Basko, who has Basque as their primary language. The next is the Catarungs which have Cebuano as their primary, and lastly, the Ruskos in most cities and towns in Nuevo Transnistria where Russian is primarily spoken. A minority of Hispinos living in Magdalena and Murosur are native Filipinos which uses Filipino language as their primary language.

Religion

Hispinas is considered as a secular state, with Catholicism being the most prevalent religion in the nation. Around 84 percent of the Hispino populace are Catholics, with 10 percent being Orthodox Christians, and 4 percent being others such as atheists, or pagans.

The next section will discuss details on education, government, economy, and culture.

[Sylestone]

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR SENTIENT



Part Seven

Kirkham, Sylestone

---

After his father found an available hotel in the heart of the city, Brett slumped onto his bed - the continuous driving over the past two days had mentally exhausted him. A minute later, though, he was up, screaming, as his bed wobbled under him.

“Daddy! It wiggwes! It wiggwes!!!”

His father, rushing into the room, placed an arm around Brett as he stood, petrified. A look of bemusement passed over the older man’s face, before he realised.

“That was not funny,” he said in a serious tone.

Brett looked quizzically up at his father, but was once again distracted by the bed. “Why is it moving?”

“It’s not a normal bed. Some Sentient has clearly decided to play a prank on you. That one is your bed,” he said, pointing towards the far wall, where a second bed could be seen.

It was at this point that the bed decided that it had had enough of torturing the poor boy and wobbled out of the room, down the stairs and out the door of the hotel apartment. Brett watched it go, confusion written all over his face, and was only distracted when his father placed an arm around him and urged him towards his bed.

“We’ve had a big day, Brett. It’s high time you got some sleep, don’t you think?”

Brett nodded his head in agreement, patting the bed to ensure it wouldn’t wriggle.

“Oh, I don’t think you need to worry about that, mate,” said his father, sitting down on the bed. “They’re not that mean in Kirkham!”

Brett looked at his father, taking in his words. Deciding to trust them, he lay back down on the bed as his father kissed him goodnight and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. But the second before he left the room, Brett’s squeaky voice once again piped up.

“Daddy, can I have a Sentient for a pet?” questioned the young boy, with puppy dog eyes.

The older man looked over, his eyes clouding with seriousness as he walked purposefully back over to Brett’s bed. Sitting upon it, he began to speak in a friendly, but strict, tone.

“Brett, you ought to know this by now. If you even try to “train” a Sentient Object, you could end up in a bad state; physically, mentally, cognitively, whatever. Please, Brett. Don’t even try it.”

And with that, Brett’s father walked out of the room for a second time, shutting the door for good. However, the glance back towards the young boy he made as he exited was not enough to notice the evil gleam in his eye. Brett did not have the first clue as to what “cognitively” meant, but nothing was going to stop him from trying his best to tame a Sentient.

***

Brett and his father awoke early the next day, knowing that they would have to reach the city square (which is actually in the shape of a toilet) before 8:30 am that morning in order to set up their business stall. When they reached the plaza with five minutes to spare, the place was already bustling full of humans and Sentient Objects, watching as people set up their “renewable” products.

“Stay with me at all times, Brett,” said the young boy’s father, holding onto his hand with a firm grip. “You are not to leave me, you understand?”

The two of them locked eyes, and Brett nodded his head in understanding, appearing to understand. However, deep beneath those big round eyes the young boy had, mischief was whirring.

A few minutes later, Brett’s father was called over to help fellow employees set up a tent and as he let go of his son’s hand, Brett began watching carefully for a possible exit despite being supervised by what appeared to be a sentient Camping Table. Noticing a parting in the crowds, the young boy slipped through, his father’s back turned and the Camping Table not watching him. He began pushing through the crowds, angering a person or Sentient here or there and receiving multiple questioning looks, all of which he ignored. Finally, he broke through and began running down a street, searching for the suburb of Toiletville.

Yes, Brett was looking for a Toilet. He may already have a soft, plastic one that he sleeps with at home, but was that really enough for the young boy? No, it wasn’t.

He was after a real Toilet.

And little did he know how stupid the idea was.

***

Five minutes after leaving his son next to the SolarSylestone stall, Brett’s father finally finished setting up the tent as he ran back to check on his son. At a quick glance, the young boy was nowhere in sight as he pushed down a deep feeling of unease. Purposefully, he walked over to where he had left Brett and spotted the Camping Table minding its own business, not caring what anyone thought of it standing in the middle of the road.

Brett’s father rapped the Camping Table three times and was immediately shot a reproachful glare.

“Do you want me to smack you in the head, too?” was the defensive response from the Sentient, before realising who it was talking to. “Oh it’s you. I haven’t seen your son. He left here, presumably to go to another stall, and I haven’t seen him since. Is something wrong?”

Brett’s father paled, immediately feeling a sense of Déjà vu as the Sentient looked up at him.

“Shit.”

***

Brett sighed in relief as he passed under the Toiletville suburb sign, knowing what he was looking for was right up ahead. Finally, he spotted the turnoff onto Toilet Road, and almost immediately found what he was looking for. A Toilet, bobbling along on its morning walk. Noticing it, the young boy ran up to the poor Sentient, clearly bemused. Especially when the seven-year-old began to speak.

“Mind if I have you for a pet?” he asked, reaching down to pick the Toilet up. But just as he was about to pick the poor thing up, it realised Brett’s intention. In a flash, the Toilet opened up its seat and sprayed Brett with toilet water, knocking him to the ground. The last thing he knew before he was knocked out due to the sheer force of the toilet water was his voice calling for his Daddy.

---

Talamia vs Sylestone @ Ebdemar Au'tokra Stadium, Clinepalas

Talamia (4-4-2): Zugon; Mestithemi - Fulatto (▮ 21’) - Skatezzo (Iano 69’) - Katek; Kinklis (▮ 2’) - Sus - Dioiiké - Lagios (Bainika 79’); A’Apt - Neaniaõ (Kenon 87’)

Sylestone (4-1-3-1-1 → 4-1-2-1-2): Table; Ironing Board - Sofa (Television 84’) - Toilet (▮ 50’) - Dishwasher; Air Conditioner (▮ 67’); Kitchen Sink - Knife (Heater 76’) - Fridge; Mixer (▮ 33’); AC Vent (Tumble Dryer 84’)

TALAMIA - 0
-no scorers-

SYLESTONE - 0
-no scorers-

Eura vs Sylestone @ Bastion National Arena, Bastion

Eura (5-2-1-2): Belgrave; Wheeler - Green (Menard 78’) - Coles - Sherwood (Byrd 63’) - Almwood; Vincent - Robshaw; Woakes (▮ 44’); Tomlinson - Walker (Robson 78’)

Sylestone (4-1-3-1-1): Brick Wall; Ironing Board (▮ 13’) (Nokia 56’) - Sofa - Washing Machine - Dishwasher; Air Conditioner; Stove (Kitchen Sink 68’) - Bar Stool (▮ 89’) - Fridge (Spiderwebs 80’); Mixer; Tumble Dryer

EURA - 1
Tomlinson 38’

SYLESTONE - 1
Bar Stool 73’

Starting Lineup vs Lathamford @ Sentient Oval, Kirkham

Brick Wall; Nokia - Sofa - Wok - Drawer; Television; Stove - Bar Stool - Spiderwebs; Heater; Tumble Dryer

Starting Lineup vs Srednjaci @ Blue Volcano Stadium, Melarit

Saucepan; Ironing Board - Toilet - Television - Drawer; Air Conditioner; Kitchen Sink - Knife - Fridge; Mixer; AC Vent

Schedule:

MD1: Sylestone 1-0 Talamia @ Carson Stadium, Cleorough
MD2: Sylestone 1-0 Eura @ Chamberley Institute of Sport, Chamberley
MD3: Lathamford 1-0 Sylestone @ Thousandforks National Arena, Lathamford
MD4: Sylestone 3-0 Srednjaci @ Sunlife Stadium, Halpenley
MD5: Agresos 0-0 Sylestone @ Unknown
MD6: Sylestone 1-0 Melbergia @ The Bay Reserve, Betham
MD7: Chromatika 1-1 Sylestone @ Islander Dome, Myana
MD8: Sylestone 2-0 Darmen @ Avondale International Sports Stadium, Avondale
MD9: Schima Bas 1-2 Sylestone @ Unknown
MD10: Talamia 0-0 Sylestone @ Ebdemar Au'tokra Stadium, Clinepalas
MD11: Eura 1-1 Sylestone @ Bastion National Arena, Bastion
MD12: Sylestone - Lathamford @ Sentient Oval, Kirkham
MD13: Srednjaci - Sylestone @ Blue Volcano Stadium, Melarit
MD14: Sylestone - Agresos @ Ground of Dunkirk, Dunkirk
MD15: Melbergia - Sylestone @ Unknown
MD16: Sylestone - Chromatika @ The Trees, Pesfield
MD17: Darmen - Sylestone @ Unknown
MD18: Sylestone - Schima Bas @ Fiery Stadium, Dodle

[Ethane]

"Momentary lapse gave Pratapgadh goal"

Nathan Walker, in his post-match press conference after the team's victory against Pratapgadh, seemed less jubilant than you'd expect for a manager whose team finds themselves 9 points clear at the top of their qualification group. Walker did praise the team and their performance, giving a special mention to Scott Burgess who is on fire this campaign and scored yet another goal in the game. Despite this, he didn't paint a rosy picture of the match.

Instead, he described the Red Kites as "lacking in inspiration" and "devoid of personality". It seems he was not too impressed with the team's overall performance, especially in keeping formation. He said that "while we did score two goals, they were mostly lucky. We didn't deserve two goals. We didn't deserve to win. All plaudits have to go to Pratapgadh for coming so close to a point, because we sure didn't deserve three."

Pratapgadh are only the second team to have scored against Ethane during the qualifying campaign, with the first team Savigliane who kept it close in a 1-1 draw. But they were far higher ranked opponents - Savigliane are the highest ranked team in the group at 19th. Pratapgadh are ranked 112th, about 70 ranks lower than the Red Kites. If you've managed to only concede 1 goal in 9 games, it's not expected that you concede one against one of the group's easier opponents.

It wasn't just the goal that had Nathan Walker worried post-match. Pratapgadh "had numerous occasions - too many - in which they could have tied the game. Good saves by Velazquez and a lack of clinicality from the opposition strikers have saved us this game - but we can't expect that every game from now on." There was a significant lack of fight from the Ethanian defence. They seemed unwilling to put in the effort needed to cut off those passes and block those shots, backing down from the pressing tactics they have used during the first half.

Speculation suggests that tiredness could have a part to play in this - do the team burn themselves out in the first game and not have enough in the tank for the second game in the weeks which they have fixtures during? Nathan Walker was asked a question regarding this during the interview, but played down the tiredness aspect. "I don't think it's down to tiredness", Walker said to the interviewer. "I think our team have got ourselves into a position where we are 9 points ahead of the rest of the group. We've not been in such a position for a while, a long while. Our team knows how to fight and win games. I know that. And I don't push them too hard - they want to push themselves hard because they know they need to to win games."

He instead placed the blame at the feet of their position in the table. Walker said "we have a very strong, committed team who can achieve anything. I've seen them do it. I know what they can do. Being far ahead in our qualification group, I think we're just resting on our laurels a bit. We've got into this position, and think qualification is now inevitable. We think we're already there, to some extent. But we're not. We've got 7 games left to go in the qualifying campaign. We've still got some really important matches to come against Savigliane and Trolleborg; anything can happen still. I know that. And my job is to make sure the team knows that. And that is what I will do."

---

Ethane 2–0 Murphtannia | Palmer 32' (a. Reid), Aboud 54' (a. Kjaer)
Lineup: Velázquez | Baird (Johnson 74'), James, Collins, Calvo (Wilburn-Mason 60'), Allard | Kjaer (Carter 80'), Reid, Ruiz, Palmer | Aboud
Murphtannia: NO ROSTER PROVIDED

---

Ethane easily breezed past a Murphtannia team that rarely provided a challenge to the Red Kites. A solid Palmer goal in the first half saw Ethane take a lead which they would never let go of. It looked like Murphtannia might fight their way back into the game for a spell after half-time, but this was short-lived. Aboud buried any hopes of that comeback with a great shot in the 54th minute, assisted by Kjaer. Murphtannia posed no real threat after going 2 goals down, and the Red Kites were able to shut up shop with a string of defensive substitutions.

Savigliane 1-1 Ethane | Toscani 67' (a. Buvavelli) //Montoya 12' (a. Burgess)
Lineup: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, James, Stevens, Turner (Dance 76') | Carter, Ellis-Wood, Ruiz (Woodrow 85'), Montoya | Burgess (Lozano 83')
Savigliane: D'Ambrosio | Marchetti Garcia Blanco Vitale (Romano 74) | Vatrican (Chastain 61) Buvalelli Toscani | Coste (Roux 70) Squarciafichi Barthelemy

---

A tense game which saw two teams fighting for the automatic qualification spot duel it out to a stalemate. Savigliane were the team with real impetus to start with, putting the Red Kites under intense pressure. However, Ethane found a goal on the counter in the 12th minute, catching their opponents off-guard. The lead didn't last, with Toscani finding the back of the net in the 67th minute. Both teams then tried to push for a winner, but ultimately both would rather leave with 1 point then go for all or nothing.

Ethane 1–0 Greater Vakolicci Haven | T. Lozano 83' (a. E. Martin).
Ethane: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, James, Castillo (Stevens 52'), Turner | Kjaer (Carter 72'), Martin, Taylor, Palmer | Burgess (Lozano 72')
Greater Vakolicci Haven: NO ROSTER PROVIDED

---

The Red Kites lacked any offensive impetus during the first half. In the second half they posed more of an attacking thread, with Lozano finding a goal in the 83rd minute of the game to save the team from a draw. GVH provided no real threat, with the Red Kites controlling possession and the pace of the game.

Bahia Roja 0-5 Ethane | S. Burgess 17' (a. Allard), 28' (a. Montoya), 89' (a. Taylor), Woodrow 45+1' (a. Burgess), Wilburn-Mason 70' (a. Palmer).
Ethane: Velázquez | Johnson (Baird 71'), Wilburn-Mason, Stevens, Collins, Allard | C. Reid, Woodrow, Martin (Taylor 78'), Montoya (Palmer 65') | Burgess
Bahia Roja: NO ROSTER PROVIDED

---

It was a bit of a walk in the park for the Red Kites, who utterly dominated throughout the match and could have easily got more. It was Scott Burgess who takes all the plaudits and the match ball though, having scored a hattrick and assisted a goal. What a showing.

Ethane 1-0 Osarius | Palmer 4'
Ethane: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, James, Castillo, Turner | Carter, Ellis-Wood (Hunt 78'), O. Reid, Palmer | Burgess (Lozano 86')
Osarius: Aurelio | Cesario, Mundi, Karembeu, Phillipe | Niko, Qabnari, Favelli | Hyde, Jackson, Vergara

---

Osarius were able to get in behind a pose a threat to the Ethanian goal, with the front three of Hyde, Jackson, and Vergara finding space. They were unable to find a goal throughout though, following an early goal by Palmer which gave the Red Kites the advantage, and would be the only goal scored in the match.

Trolleborg 0-1 Ethane | Burgess 90+3' (a. Ellis-Wood)
Ethane: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, James (Stevens 68'), Collins, Allard (Turner 79') | Carter, Ellis-Wood, Reid (Hunt 59'), Montoya | Burgess
Trolleborg: Kotsson | Norgaard, Troger, Du Riis, Wolters | Kolding, Valgren, Halst, Finnsnes | Kerr, Berglund

---

It was another tightly fought game with real ramifications for each team's qualifying campaign. It was Trolleborg who took most of the initiative in the game with the Red Kites often on the backfoot. However, they just could not break Ethane down, who stayed resolute. In the end, it was Burgess who won the game for the Red Kites with a last minute winner.

Ethane 3-0 South Covello | Ellis-Wood 32' (a. Johnson), Montoya 62' (a. O. Reid), Burgess 79' (a. Ruiz).
Ethane: Velázquez | Johnson (Baird 88'), Wilburn-Mason, James, Calvo (Castillo 55'), Turner | Carter, Ellis-Wood, O. Reid (Ruiz 71'), Montoya | Burgess
South Covello: NO ROSTER PROVIDED

---

South Covello provided even less fight than in the first game between these two teams. The Red Kites were easily able to put three past them, dominating most of the match.

Pratapgadh 1-2 Ethane | Player 28' (a. Player) // O. Reid 35' (a. Stevens), Montoya 81' (a. Burgess).
Ethane: Velázquez | Baird, James, Stevens, Collins, Dance | C. Reid, O. Reid, Hunt (Ellis-Wood 78'), Palmer (Montoya 69') | Lozano (Burgess 78')
Pratapgadh: NO ROSTER PROVIDED

---

It was a game that looked like it was going away from the Red Kites, before the substitutes made the difference. Pratapgadh were the second team to score against Ethane in qualifiers, and looked like holding on for a point following Reid's equaliser. However, the substitutes Montoya and Burgess paired up to score the winner in the 81st minute, continuing Ethane's winning streak in the campaign.

Previews

Ethane vs West Zirconia
Lineup: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, Collins, Stevens, Turner | Carter, Taylor, Ruiz, Montoya | Burgess

---

Ethane narrowly dispensed of West Zirconia in their first half performance, scoring only the 1 goal against the team they also faced last qualifiers. However, the Red Kites are on a red hot run of form right now, especially Scott Burgess who starts, and are at home. Ethane should win. Prediction: 2-0.

Murphtannia vs Ethane
Lineup: Velázquez | Johnson, Wilburn-Mason, James, Castillo, Turner | Carter, Ellis-Wood, Ruiz, Montoya | Lozano

---

It was a confident win against Murphtannia in the first half, and it's expected that this confidence will continue in the second half. Murphtannia may have had some good wins, but they are not on the form streak that the Red Kites are on. The team will be resting Burgess though, so will have to find their goals from elsewhere. This team runs deep though, so there are plenty of goalscoring options available.

---

Schedule and Stats

---

---

MATCHDAY 1 South Covello 0-2 Ethane (Burgess 41', Johnson 62')
MATCHDAY 2 Ethane 2-0 Pratapgadh (Burgess 23', Montoya 71')
MATCHDAY 3 West Zirconia 0-1 Ethane (Player 72' og)
MATCHDAY 4 Ethane 2-0 Murphtannia (Palmer 32', Aboud 54')
MATCHDAY 5 Savigliane 1-1 Ethane (Montoya 12')
MATCHDAY 6 Ethane 1-0 Greater Vakolicci Haven (Lozano 83')
MATCHDAY 7 Bahia Roja 0-5 Ethane (Burgess 17', 28', 89'; Woodrow 45+1'; Wilburn-Mason 70')
MATCHDAY 8 Ethane 1-0 Osarius (Palmer 4')
MATCHDAY 9 Trolleborg 0-1 Ethane (Burgess 90+3')
MATCHDAY 10 Ethane 3-0 South Covello (Ellis-Wood 32', Montoya 62', Burgess 79')
MATCHDAY 11 Pratapgadh 1-2 Ethane (O. Reid 35', Montoya 81')
MATCHDAY 12 VS West Zirconia (160)
MATCHDAY 13 @ Murphtannia (91)
MATCHDAY 14 VS Savigliane (19)
MATCHDAY 15 @ Greater Vakolicci Haven (UR)
MATCHDAY 16 VS Bahia Roja (294)
MATCHDAY 17 @ Osarius (209)
MATCHDAY 18 VS Trolleborg (36)

Goals
S. Burgess - 7
J. Montoya - 4
M. Palmer - 2
D. Johnson - 1
S. Aboud - 1
T. Lozano - 1
A. Woodrow - 1
M. Wilburn-Mason - 1
T. Ellis-Wood - 1
O. Reid - 1

Assists
S. Burgess - 3
J. Montoya - 2
J. Ruiz - 2
D. Johnson - 2
O. Reid - 2
T. Carter - 1
A. Kjaer - 1
E. Martin - 1
M. Allard - 1
J. Taylor - 1
M. Palmer - 1
T. Ellis-Wood - 1
C. Stevens - 1

Clean Sheets
D. Velázquez - 9

[Kandorith]

---

Shinonome Kyoai - International

---

Dragons keep their composure!

For the first time in history, Kandorith tops the group in this fashion.
By Natsumi Miyasaki
Sports

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---

*  Group 3                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Kandorith                           11    9   2   0    35   16  +19    29
 2 Vilita                              11    7   1   3    26   26    0    22
 3 Mertagne                            11    6   3   2    28   18  +10    21
 4 Savojarna                           11    6   2   3    18   12   +6    20
 5 Nyowani Kitara                      11    5   1   5    20   18   +2    16
 6 Barunia                             11    4   3   4    23   19   +4    15
 7 Cabo Azure                          11    3   4   4    22   17   +5    13
 8 Fluvannia                           11    1   4   6    16   21   −5     7
 9 Devonta                             11    2   0   9    15   36  −21     6 
10 Arjunnagar                          11    1   2   8    15   35  −20     5

More and more are the celebrations of the Kandorese fans becoming larger festivities as the team is managing to keep their run going without a single defeat. Beating both Nyowani Kitara and Devonta as the qualifications resumed there are no doubts for the hopeful fans any more. Next to standing at a reasonable distance from the rest of the group - the goalfest continued for the Kandorese as well. Currently Kandorith has managed to score thirty-five goals in eleven matches, which is an absolute record on it's own. The scepticism against Michiyu as manager has gone for sure as the Dragons are currently playing the perfect qualification run; with zero defeats after eleven matches it has shattered every record in history for the Kandorese football team.

"Would it not be amazing if we qualified in this era of rebuilding the entire national team" Kaya Michiyu exclaimed as the team made themselves ready to play the match against Nyowani Kitara. Scoring eight goals in just two games followed and the possibility of Kandorith qualifying directly for the World Cup is slowly becoming a goal that is very much in reach. Manager Michiyu had exclaimed that the team would be looking to pressure their opponents as much as possible and in both games there was an abundance of pressure and attacks coming from the Kandorese side. In both matches the first half was all about attacking and trying to control the game which was followed by a second half which was about keeping the opponent on their own half and try as many shots on goal as possible.

Kaya Michiyu, as always, was a real presence on the field. The young manager does not believe in the previous passive styles of managing of those before, instead Michiyu has chosen for a very animated and often loud style of trying to get the team to perform ever so much better than in the previous game. In the first stages of the qualifiers Michiyu was mostly mocked, but slowly and surely the fans are getting used to the very driven manager who screams orders at the squad whenever possible. Kandorith has shown their prowess as in the game against Devonta the system completely changed and kept running as they were without showing weakness. The team switched from a 4-3-3 to a 5-3-2 during the second half to keep control over the game and it has worked out brilliantly.

Kandorith on the offense

The Kandorese national team is not known for it's high goal scoring numbers but in these qualifiers they are an absolute riot. Before the halfway mark of the qualification campaign the Kandorese were in the top ten for most offensive teams already, standing sixth with twenty-seven goals in total - only to improve it immediately and score an amazing thirty-five goals so far now. Currently the thirty-five goals for Kandorith would make them the third best scoring team in the qualifiers, just behind Farfadillis and Starblaydia respectively. With only sixteen goals being scored against the Kandorese one might say that the team is currently a well-balanced side with amazing goal scoring chances in almost every match. People have criticised the ability to keep a clean score but Michiyu dismissed those calls with a simple; "We score more than the opponent does and in the end that's all that matters". With Kandorith standing in first place of the group with twenty-nine points qualification seems certain but dangers still lurk. The Kandorese still have to play the major teams in the group in the second leg of the qualifiers and they will have to be at their very best once again to keep this run going - the question is if they can keep the run going.

Historically the Kandorese team has performed better in the second leg of the qualifiers and if they would do that in this crazy campaign it would be beyond legendary. All eyes are on the national team right now as they will attempt to bring the qualifiers to a positive close and return to the World Cup once again. For Michiyu; the World Cup is a must. "I took this job with the promise of getting to the World Cup and I am someone who sticks to their promises." Michiyu exclaimed. "I think that the squad has shown just what they are capable of as we have been doing an amazing job so far. I truly think that with the teamwork we have right now we can at least reach the World Cup. From there, we will look to even greater heights." Michiyu hinted at the highest ever result of Kandorith on the World Cup, which is the round of 16. Normally the Kandorese exit during the group stages, but once in history the team managed to even beat the group phase of the World Cup as a complete underdog. Now the Kandorese take on the role as the underdog once again, while keeping their heads cool for the upcoming matches against large names like Vilita, Savojarna and Barunia. All upcoming games will be crucial as everything can still change in the last phase of the qualifiers.

---

Kaito Corp reveals new main battle tank for armed forces.

Imperial Kandorese Armed Forces have decided on their new armoured material supplier.
By Hikaru Yamashiro
Technology

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---

For five years there has been silence as to who the Ministry of Defense would turn to to start producing their new material, today there has been a decision and announcement that the Kaito Corporation will be taking on that task for the upcoming five years. According to the Defense Minister Kenji Sunada, the new main battle tank will be undergoing it's first trials in the upcoming months. The state trials will come to a close somewhere in the first quarter of next year and this would mean that the new, currently unnamed, main battle tank might be ready for combat earlier than expected.

The serial production of the tank has already started according to the Kaito Corporation as they believe this firmly in what their new piece of machinery and technology will bring to the battlefield. Minister Sunada was very glad to announce the relationship between the Ministry of Defence and the Kaito Corporation. "For years we have been looking for the very best of the best." Sunada told Shinonome Kyoai on Friday. "With the Kaito Corporation we have found the very best once again. The new tank will be a fine addition to the armed forces and it will surely strike fear in the hearts of any nation which dares to defy us in the field of battle. Our aim is to create a multi-incorporated system where man and machine works together flawlessly. The new tank will therefore be equipped with the latest AI technology and all the bells and whistles of the modern armed forces. It will be a true multipurpose beast which will claim the field of battle as her own."

The unnamed tank is a heavy tracked standard platform to serve a multi-propose role in the armed forces. It will serve as the basis to be deployed as a main battle tank, an infantry fighting vehicle, armoured personnel carrier, anti-tank platform and a mobile anti-air platform. For Kandorith the new tank will be the first of it's generation of what the Kaito Corp has dubbed a "Modular Armoured Fighting Vehicle". The upcoming vehicle is the first clean-sheet tank and armoured vehicle design of the Kaito Corporation and so far it has impressed the Defense Ministry the most, opposed to the T-4 developed by Ronin Assemblies and the Furuji developed by Red Diamond Defense Tech.

The new tank is armed with a smoothbore gun, 60-milimetre grenade launchers, and a 15 millimetre machine gun all mounted in the unmanned turret of the vehicle. The two-man crew sits in an armoured capsule inside the very heavily armoured tank, providing almost impenetrable protection for the troops. The tank is also equipped with the RIKU active protection system, which detects incoming rockets, missiles and other projectiles and shoots them down before the tank can be hit by them.

The new tank is being prepared to be shown on the next arms exposition in Tenkyo together with it's name. The Ministry of Defense has already ordered over three-thousand of the tanks according to the Kaito Corporation. The amount of ordered tanks would be enough to build at least five new armoured divisions in the upcoming years. The tank itself has not entered mass production yet though and still has to be completely field tried. The reality, as it stands right now, is that there's a handful of pre-production models at the time right now and those will be thoroughly tested by the Ministry of Defense before the production is given the green light. The Kaito Corporation has said that the pre-production models are as effective as the tank will be once it's in mass production and will be looking to show the tank as quickly as possible. From here the first mass production will be in the hands of the Ministry of Defense and after their order has been fulfilled the Kaito Corporation will be looking to taking on potential foreign customers.

[Geisenfried]

The three-game homestand, so far, had not been going well. Back-to-back defeats had put Geisenfried even further on the back foot, going from sixth place and only two games back to seventh and double digit points back, a very uncomfortable spot to be with only 8 matches left to play. And what had killed him the most was how accursedly close they'd been on pretty much every occasion. But there was always that one killer mistake that kept haunting them against these top-flight teams. Against Kohnhead, it had been over-committing to the front after the half in trying to break the deadlock draw - it had done so, but not in the way the Golden Eagles had been hoping. And try as they may for the following forty minutes, Kohnhead held, and so yet another opportunity for an upset went out the door. Their next match would be against Moliza - not quite the type of opponent they'd been struggling with, but the team had just managed to stonewall Brenecia, despite the group's best offense going against the group's worst defense. They couldn't afford to give up points here - or worse, lose, and leave only one point separating them...

---

For all the trouble they'd given the Brenecians, Moliza had not brought whatever they had found to Gründer. They looked like the defensive hole-riddled team that they'd been through most of qualifying, and Geisenfried had pounced. Djibril, in particular, was having the game of his qualifiers, having already put a brace of goals behind the keeper, starting the goal scoring early. By the time the half was over it was already three-nil and there were no indications that the team was going to let up anytime soon. Their offensive assault quieted a bit after they came back out for the final forty-five, but they'd established firm possession control, and the team looked every bit the contenders he felt they should be. And he couldn't help but wonder what was holding them back when it mattered against the big teams. The Kanuen River Derby wasn't that long ago, after all. His train of thought was pierced by the sound of a loud whistle, a clumsy tackle leading to a conceded free kick not too far from the box as the clock in the stadium flicked to a 7 in the tens place, the Gründer crowd roaring its approval. A brief shuffle as Moliza did their best to form a defensive wall, with Ferdinand, the other goal scorer of the night, stood a few feet away from the ball, arm raised high. Another whistle and the ball came arcing over the wall, curling into the middle of the box. A mob of people rose up - the crowd itself joining in - and their voices broke out into a fever pitch as the ball bounced towards goal and hit into the side netting. He couldn't tell who'd scored from this position in the mêlée, but given his team was congregating around Mikkel, he could only guess that his striker had been the one to turn it home.

He pushed aside the thoughts for now. There'd be plenty of time for that later. But for the time being? It was time to celebrate - his fist piercing through the air, victoriously.

---

Geisenfried 0 - 1 Kohnhead
Maltos (54')

Geisenfried 4 - 0 Moliza
Kayode (6', 42'), Roessler (33'), Christensen (71')

[Pasarga]

A first defeat stung hard, with Krytenia maintaining their unbeaten run and putting the Wanderers firmly in second place and now having to chase Krytenia down through the remainder of the campaign rather than being the team that was under pursuit. All the advantages of having secured a point in Krytenia at the end of the first half had gone out the window with that defeat in Zeta, a one goal defeat where the in form attack had been made to be frustrated. It felt eerily familiar to the start of the campaign when the attacking talent had some trouble clicking but the squad had still been able to rely on their defense to earn victories. However for the first time in the campaign, the defensive efforts, although quite well worked for the match, were not enough to even rescue a point for the Wanderers and let Krytenia slip through into first despite two dropped points themselves with the Dragons, as they are apparently no longer referred to as the Aces, were held to a draw at the same time that the Wanderers were being handed their first defeat.

It is a very awkward position to have only lost once and have had two draw through eleven games and to find yourself not at the top of the group, as it is normally the sort of record that would have a team be at the top of their group and looking fairly comfortable to qualify. Instead of being the group leaders though, the Wanderers sit a point behind the leaders and have to chase them through the campaign now, which is unfamiliar territory for teams with the sort of record that the Wanderers have gotten but at the same time something that this team in intimately familiar with having had to perform comebacks in their groups the last two cycles. Krytenia has done what few people could have imagined from them at the start of the group, having maintained an unblemished record even into the second half of the qualifying campaign and despite the odds being stacked against them, do not look like they are going to be dropping any matches any time soon. That has to be a very sobering thought for the Wanderers and the first real bit of adversity that Kirk McDonagh has faced in their tenure are the manager of the team.

The scene now shifts back to the Stade de Torgos and The Grearish Union, a side who will be feeling a bit high on themselves after being able to hold the Dragons of Krytenia to a draw, proving to themselves that they are quite capable of contending with the top seeds in the group. It is often said that the mark of a good team is one that is able to not let a loss defeat them twice, being able to shake aside the ill and bitter feelings of the defeat and move on in the next match instead of letting it snowball into a poor run of form. By most measures the Wanderers are a good team, with a top ten ranking in the WCC official rankings, players playing in some of the best clubs in some of the best leagues, and their record in the qualifiers up until that defeat against Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom. The side should have the ability to focus all the negative energy and move past it, able to put their sights on the Grearish Union and the difficult task of finding a way to defeat them. If the team truly is one of the best teams in the footballing world, they will be up to that task.

In an attempt to change fortunes around, Elek Salai is going to start the match for the Wanderers on the bench, with Najiyah Lubanah Mifsud being given a start in their stead, having earned their way into the national team with several good seasons in the SuperLiga with Turkish. No one is denying that Salai is perhaps the Wanderers best player, but a full season with Ibini FC and having been the primary attacker for the national team does eventually take its toll, even on a young and spry player like Salai. Mifsud has earned the right to play with the first team and offers a little something different than Salai, more of a traditional striker than the younger man and perhaps better suited to partner with a player like Nagy. Given the side travels to Augusticinia three days later, it could be quite useful to have Salai rested, with the road games having been a bit more difficult for the Wanderers to find their footing in. Having been extremely patient to earn that starting spot in the first place, Salai is unlikely to have much issue and if everything goes to plan, McDonagh will look like a genius. First the Wanderers have to get that victory in the Stade de Torgos if that is to come to pass.

[Omerica]

blogdefootball.co.or
Now with a fresh coat of paint!

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Victory over Vajlahrys turns a personal achievement for Alexis Stephanidis into a national milestone
By Ryan Taylor

In all honesty, Omerica’s home match against Vajlahrys was just another day at the office for the Incorrigibles. While they may have pulled off a stunning upset against visiting Juvencus a few days prior, their trip to Carthagène was nothing of the sort. Name McName may have bagged a consolation goal—and denied Annelise Betancourt a confidence-boosting clean sheet—, but the outcome of the game was never truly in doubt.

But for the manager, this game was special, regardless of the eventual result. Having taken the top football job in the country after a historic humiliation at IAC X—where Omerica had the misfortune of being the first host nation to exit the tournament in the group stage—, Alexis Stephanidis was given a snowball’s chance in hell to survive the a job that former holder and current commentator James-Alexandre Christopherson called “the national whipping boy.” To that point, Stephanidis’s highest-profile job was as manager of Malavan Romainbourg, a team she led to an infamous 9–0 aggregate defeat against Jraxville FC that ultimately contributed to her reputation-destroying dismissal.

The United Republican Soccer Federation had faith in her, though. Omerica’s football governing body had been through a mini-crisis after the Incorrigibles’ IAC X meltdown, paving the way for Lalland Football Association chief Catriona Immaculata to become the first female Executive Director of an Omerican sport governing body. Immaculata—sensing that George Kostas’s high profile prior to his managerial tenure had inflated expectation past what he could deliver—aimed low for her first Incorrigibles manager as Federation chief. The woman who had just fished Andreaskruis Football Club de Brétolles out of the Second Division seemed like the logical choice.

This was all part of a grand rebuilding project, aimed at delivering Omerica back to the World Cup finals and making Omerica competitive in indie football once more. On both those fronts, the decision to tap Stephanidis proved more wildly successful than anyone could have ever imagined. Her first qualification campaign in the Omerica dugout resulted in a remarkable third-place finish in a “group from hell” containing Turori, Siovanija-Teusland, Astograth and Valladares. One cycle later, Omerica were in the World Cup playoffs and the Indie Championship semifinals. One cycle after that, Omerica did the unthinkable and broke a twenty-eight year qualifying drought.

All that has given Stephanidis incredible job security. Already in a record-breaking fourth qualifying campaign as Omerica boss, Vajlahrys’s visit to Carthagène marked 96 matches in charge for Stephanidis, tying IAC winner and current SRS boss Anne-Sophie Groothuis’s record for most Omerica games managed. When the Incorrigibles visit Ardelark in a few days time, Stephanidis will claim the record all for herself and will approach the coveted hundred-game mark that only Anne-Sophie has ever come close to reaching.

Yet the match was also monumentous for the Incorrigibles at-large, as their 200th all-time official victory. Across 449 officially recognised matches, the Incorrigibles now have fifty more victories than defeats, a fitting record for a nation now broadly competitive on the international stage. The first of those 200 wins came when Omerica lined up against Lavertezzo at Kariba’s Umboqthwane Stadium during the 56th Baptism of Fire, having drawn their first two matches. After a Baptism where Omerica went unbeaten in normal time, San José Guayabal, the Holy Empire and Osarius (back when their consecutive World Cup triumphs were recent memories) all suffered shock defeats to Omerica in the early OFF days before that nine-match undefeated qualification run—which included consecutive wins against Nephara and Abanhfleft—rocketed Omerica to their first World Cup finals.

The URSF era had a slow start in comparison. Victory in West Violence to open Omerica’s first qualifying campaign in six years was a promising start, but Ryan Pritchard’s second stint in charge of Omerica and Christine Salmond’s run as his successor turned out to be massive duds. Even Anne-Sophie struggled to find her footing, needing a couple tournaments to geet in the groove, but once she found her footing, the likes of the “Free Republics”, Cassadaigua, Kita-Hinode, Banija and—most famously of all—Drawkland were liable to be brought to their knees by Omerica. George Kostas’s brief stint had some shining gems as well, most notably a victory against two-time indie champions Schottia in the IAC X opener.

But much of the credit for Omerica’s run to 200 must be given to Alexis Stephanidis, who has won more games for Omerica (57) than Ryan Pritchard ever managed (53). A four-game winning run to close out World Cup 86 qualification, the joint-largest victory in IAC history (8–0 against an immensely unlucky Central Shanveille), the largest margin of victory ever recorded in an IAC knockout match (6–0 against Sannyamathland in the IAC 12 quarterfinals), a scrappy victory away in Newmanistan and the final matchday win against Flavovespia that lifted Omerica into the World Cup finals are just some of the highlights of the Incorrigibles’ illustrious record in the modern day.

To the outside observer, the game in Carthagène just seemed like another case of qualification contenders beating down one of those teams that flicker in and out of the multiversal eye. For the players on the pitch, the supporters in the stands and all those watching from ‘ome, it was a cause for celebration. Maybe there was some disappointment that Vajlahrys was the nation the Incorrigibles notched 200 against, wasting a golden opportunity to accomplish the feat against giants of the international game like Ko-oren, but you can only play the team in front of you.

As for the woman whose longevity record is not long for this world, there’s nothing but celebration on her part: “Congratulations to my great friend Alexis for her fantastic record and for Omerica’s 200th win,” Anne-Sophie said in a twii after the game. “Here’s to 200 more Incorrigibles wins!” For our part, we couldn’t agree more. ◇

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Other Football News:
• World Cup 89: Back-to-back wins keep Omerica atop the group, while Juvencus, Oberour Ar Moro and Bollonich fall back
• OPSL: Home-and-away semifinals confirmed for the League Cup starting in season 11, alongside other significant changes
• OPINION: The away goals rule is not the menace blighting home-and-away ties—the IFCF should scrap extra time instead

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Uniting Omerican sport fans across the United Republics — blogdefootball: a proud member of the Gryphon Pride network

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United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jean-Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Ardelark v Omerica
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday Twelve
Old Sample, Sampleville, Ardelark
— and —
Omerica v Juvencus
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday Thirteen
Stade des Marins, Romainbourg, Romainbourg
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Zavier Street; Kara Félix, Frédérique Marquetti, Noémi Belmonte, Felix Zanetti; Jacques-Pierre Castell, Fearchar Mac Cléirich (captain), Ronan Neuville; Jean-Paul Campagne, Malcolm Beauchesne, Adélaïde Argyris
Substitutes: Valentine Augustin, Annelise Betancourt; Sean van de Laar, Sydney Collins, Noah Clement, Frédéric Dufour; Máel Coluim Mac Ealair, Alexandrine Bourreau, Christian Marts; Ollie Tate, Jean-Lucas Babineaux, Lionel Stavros

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[Sendhang]

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII

XIII
REAL LIFE? FANTASY?

The ambition to play abroad got into the heads of Teuku Salahudin and Jorok Mendriq after the 3-3 draw with Gyatso-kai. They returned to Tapaklaboh and Danokota respectively for their club duties a different man. They became more motivated. Salahudin who was content on being the number 1 striker in the country suddenly wants more. A great run of performances in the domestic league earned them another call-up for a tricky international window where Sendhang was scheduled to play Daehae, Legalese, Valanora, and Treekidistan.

Both Salahudin and Jorok were selected to start for the away match against Daehae who lost all of their first 8 games in the World Cup 89 qualifiers. They did well where Jorok protected the back 4 dutifully helping the team to clinch a clean sheet and Salahudin scored the solitary goal of the night for a slim 1-0 victory at Daehae followed by another great 3-0 victory when they returned home to entertain the visit of Legalese.

On a 4 match unbeaten run, Sendhang entertained the visit of the 5-times World Cup champion, Valanora to the Federal Stadium next, their third encounter this year. Sendhang lost both of their matches to Valanora earlier in the year, 1-0 on the opening match of the World Cup 89 qualifiers and 2-1 in the group stage of the U-21 World Cup, both at Valanora. So, a third defeat was on the card.

But Jorok Mendriq and Teuku Salahudin had other idea.

"Do you think we can do this?" asked Jorok as they line up to get into the field at the Federal Stadium before the kick-off.

"This is our chance. A lot of people will be watching this match. We must impress the scouts."

The two of them played splendidly that night, arguably one of the best performances in their career. Valanora controlled the match but Jorok seems like he acquired a second lung before the match to cover every inch of the field and frustrate the clearly stronger away side. And in the 67th minute, against the run of the play, Salahudin was presented with an opportunity when a loose clearance from Putra Lumipada sent the speedster one-on-one with the Vanorian goalkeeper, Julius Miljeteig. He made no mistake to score and sent the Federal Stadium into euphoria.

"Sendhang 1, Valanora 0," was the news headline all over the country on the day after the match. The whole country still can't quite believe it. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? A 0-0 draw with former Baptism of Fire champion, Treekidistan after that ensured the Sendhangites that this is the real life.

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 89 – QUALIFYING GROUP 18 – MATCHDAY 10
SCHIMA BAS 2 – 2 EURA
Scorers: Atkinson 13, Malone 60
Lineup: 30. E Palmer, 25. J Byrd, 27. T Wellington, 5. K Sherwood, 29. T Matthews (sub Mullins 58), 16. O Vincent (sub Ashton 45), 11. B Malone, 12. D Bowman, 22. A Woodman, 26. C Atkinson, 14. S Robson (sub Bond 84)

WORLD CUP 89 – QUALIFYING GROUP 18 – MATCHDAY 11
EURA 1 -1 SYLESTONE
Scorers: Tomlinson 38
Lineup: 1. K Belgrave, 2. H Wheeler, 15. T Green (sub Menard 78), 19. A Coles, 5. K Sherwood (sub Byrd 63), 3. L Almwood, 16. O Vincent, 8. V Robshaw, 7. M Woakes, 10. I Tomlinson, 17. S Walker (sub Robson 78)

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Ian Smith lowered the receiver. ‘I’ve spoken to Barnham.’
The Foreign Secretary, Carl Rutherford, sat opposite the Prime Minister with a glum look on his face. ‘Ian, we can’t put this off any longer.’
‘I know! The smug bastard just…ugh. Its like he knows he’s got us by the balls.’
‘That’s probably because he does. What are you going to do about it? Jail all the pollsters?’
Smith snorted. ‘If only. We’ll need to make an announcement, give a stance, even if it’s not that firm yet. There are a few things to juggle here. Are you sure on your judgment about the Kabaka’s angle? We really don’t want to misjudge this, not now.’
‘I stand by it.’ In the preceding minutes, Rutherford and Smith had been discussing the message he had received from Banija’s monarch. The identity of the sender said it all – they would usually get some prince to sign off on it, but not when it’s the Eurans, and not when the stakes are high. Rutherford played to Smith’s ego slightly in reminding him of this, if only to ensure he was receptive to his wider point.

That wider point was that the Banijan’s were being very shrewd in trying to get the Eurans to effectively rein in any Rushmori powers considering supporting the Nyowani Kitaran regime. The letter was short but carefully calibrated. It played to the Liberal government (and Eura in general) and its particular brand of interventionism, its aggressive promotion of the Euran model of social democracy abroad, and its current anti-communist streak. They had also avoided invoking the trauma of the war with Sameba – Euran’s were becoming increasingly reactive to foreigners trying to score points using a war very few of them helped win. Crucially, without saying it explicitly, they had identified Eura as the key domino in Rushmori politics, likely believing that if Bastion swung one way, the rest would follow.
‘He didn’t call out the Nepharan’s. Not directly.’
‘No but writing to us asking for us to weigh in as direct opponents suggests they think we are the tail wagging the Corvistone dog, as it were. That if we dump the KPWC in it, Nephara will back down.’
‘And what of the CRC?’
‘Same theory, I imagine.’

Smith grumbled to himself and almost childishly pushed his laptop away. ‘For fuck’s sake, why did I want this bloody office? You spend a whole career getting here and end up being the team captain in PE. Pick me, no, pick me! Bloody hell. Listen, I can’t dump Lindt in it, and as it is I think she has a good plan.’
Rutherford shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He and Smith did not entirely see eye to on this point. ‘I remain skeptical of Corvistone’s long term strategy’ said Rutherford diplomatically, ‘nor do I see how they aim to keep this up for years. Because that’s what it will take to overhaul Nyowani Kitara. Years. Decades maybe.’
‘I get it, you’re a skeptic.’
‘No, just a realist. I think at some point we’ll end up picking up the bill.’
‘Maybe, but not for a long time. Right now, we have what we want and need; make us look statesmanlike, give me a few points in the polls over that gaudy Barnham chap, and all without putting any Eurans in harm’s way, not officially anyway. I’m not going to make the mistake Lafferton made in Mytanija. Then we can get back to the referendum campaigns.’

The Foreign Secretary rose from his seat, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to change his leader’s mind. ‘Let’s do something then. How should I proceed?’
‘Get back to the Banijan’s right away on my behalf; tell their officials its not a snub that I’m not replying to the Kabaka myself. Say I’m travelling or something. But…I do want them to think it’s a bit of a put down. Treat them mean to keep them keen and all that. But not too much. I just want a holding message, “we’ll get back to you” and all that.’
‘…I’ll work something out.’
‘Good.’
‘Any other teenager-ish requests for the day?’
‘Oh, very funny.’
‘Don’t give me material if you don’t want to be the star of the show when I take up the microphone.’
‘Forget about your fantasies, we also need to send something brief to the Sargossans. Tell them their stepping back from this situation is welcome and simplifies the situation.’

‘That’s two covered off. You realise there’s about ten other countries trying to get something out of us on this immediately, don’t you?’
‘Yes, and as Foreign Secretary its your job to give them some very flowery non-answers until I’m on television telling the world what Eura is going to do or not do. And you’re communicating with Juvencus aren’t you? Make sure we’re keeping lines open with them before they do something over-eager. I have a speech to commission.’
There was a rattle on the door.
‘Come!’
The Chief Advisor on National Security Strategy crept around the door as if he were a schoolboy being brought in to the headteacher’s office for a talking to. ‘Prime Minister.’
‘I hope you have good news for us?’
‘Yes. Arrangements have been made – it’ll happen tomorrow night, 21:00 hours. Pending signoff with the Cabinet of course.’
‘Excellent. How many are they sending in?’
‘Something in four figures, nothing exact yet.’
‘Well, you’d better accompany me for my address then. Everyone will want to hear from the experts.’

[Zwangzug]

Matchdays 12 and 13 are upon us!

Scores

[Vdara]

”Mummy, Can I Buy That New Game?”

With the new edition of FIFA (FIFA, of course, standing for ‘Football, It’s Flippin’ Awesome’) arriving in the shops, many children will be flocking to their local shopping centres in order to grab their very own copy of this ever-generic football game where some badly-rendered sportsmen will beg them to spend their parents’ hard-earned euros on some FIFA Points (albeit, this time, standing for ‘Funding Infantile Football Addiction’ Points) in order to gamble their way into obtaining some slightly better badly-rendered sportsmen who can somehow perform ungodly moves of biblical proportions - despite having the trickery of a kitchen sink on a real football pitch. It’s an unethical business model that undoubtedly leaves many people financially destitute and wishing they’d never bought the stupid game - but that’s the thing, they prey on the people willing to put so much in to get so little back. Nevertheless, the guys at Evil Assholes (EA) have paid me a hefty sum of cash to tell you all about the shitty ratings (out of 99) they’ve given our starting eleven - so, here you go! I’m only going to be telling you about five of the players for now, but you’ll see the other six another time.

(note: PAC = pace, DRI = dribbling, SHO = shooting, DEF = defending, PAS = passing, PHY = physical)

11: Anargyros Stamatelis - 76 Rated

36 PAC 41 DRI
67 SHO 72 DEF
81 PAS 66 PHY

Starting off with the oldest player in the squad, the Evil Assholes rating geeks have given this legend a rating of… 76. Look, I guarantee you that they’ve downgraded this guy because he’s old and doesn’t play in one of the big-wig leagues. Absolute farce, this is. Also, just look at that pace stat! It’s simply unfair, that. But hey, there’s nothing we can change - we can only be thankful that this guy is the LOWEST rated player.

10: Kimon Karalas - 77 Rated

65 PAC 72 DRI
77 SHO 38 DEF
82 PAS 71 PHY

To be fair to Evil Assholes, this rating isn’t too inaccurate. Kimon has been decreasing in quality ever since his move to Tikariot, being overshadowed by fellow Vdaran Andrianos Petras. That’s not to say the move hasn’t worked out for him - quite the opposite, in fact - but he’s not getting any better. A 77 rating fits Karalas like a glove, to be honest.

9: Trifonas Tolakis - 77 Rated

69 PAC 50 SHO
62 PAS 66 DRI
76 DEF 82 PHY

Considering Valnohar Rovers have a permanently negative goal difference and have a defending line with more holes in it than Swiss cheese, you could argue that this is quite a fair rating for young Trifonas - and to be fair, it is. His recent mistakes with the national team and some defensive performances to forget have landed him a 77 rating overall.

8: Manousos Athanas - 78 Rated

92 PAC 51 SHO
65 PAS 75 DRI
78 DEF 70 PHY

Still quick - but getting old. Athanas is no longer the young and spritely dive-bombing wing-back he once was, but he’s still got ability left in him, and plenty of it.

7: Alkiviadis Manolakis - 79 Rated

81 PAC 75 SHO
74 PAS 81 DRI
39 DEF 69 PHY

With his performances with the national team and domestically still on the up, Manolakis has earned himself a well-deserved rating upgrade. He’s also earned himself 5-Star Skill Moves, giving him the ability to do ungodly moves like ‘spinning round 73 times just to get past a singular defender’, which wouldn’t work at all in real football - but this is digital gambling football, not real football.

Well, those are as many ratings as I can be bothered to give you for now. I’m sure you’re so disappointed that you can’t see how great the other six players are going to be in this money-sink of a game - well, until the next time I’m talking about Football, It’s Flippin’ Awesome. Until then, see you!

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Forgetting the Horror Week: Northlights prepare for redemption

By Jaukka Halanen

In Barunia, we have seen a Savojarna that might have been on a little bit of a slump from the Copa Rushmori and had been unfortunate twice when Voynov was off-side by a few centimetres at his would-be 2-0 in the first half, and a second time when Smolov’s attempt at close range bounced over her foot and went a little wide as she didn’t hit the ball quite as desired. But when the team bounced back with doing their duties at home against Arjunnagar, it seemed like the Northlights would be back on track, in second place behind a Kandorith that would seem beatable, and with points in hand on old rivals Vilita. As you’ll probably know if you read this article - it was not meant to be. Now, five weeks after that fateful defeat at the Bjurman (and after the even more fateful defeat in Mertagne), we are left to pick up the pieces and head into the upcoming duels with Nyowani Kitara and Devonta, where six points are instrumental to put pressure onto Vilita and Mertagne, and prevent falling further behind in the group.

The horror week of October also weighs onto Daniella Strauss, who has now won only one game out of the last five, and whose team conceded three goals or more in three out of those five matches. This is a stark contrast to the streak of victories preceding this break, an 11 game loss-less streak (9 victories and 2 draws), in which they conceded two goals or more only once, in their 4-2 victory over Fluvannia. Now, however, the longest lossless streak of Strauss’s tenure has been replaced by her worst string of five games. While it is unlikely to be enough to severely undermine the Nepharan’s prospects, it is important to remember her contract will run out after the upcoming World Cup; while there are no rumours so far, an ongoing slump might still incite the SFFB to re-consider their managerial position after the campaign.

However, Strauss is trying to impact the side, showing clear changes from the side that looked lacklustre and unmotivated in Mertagne. Flemming Skov, who was caught out of position multiple times, was scrapped from the 23-man roster for the November double header; the same applies to a moody and seemingly unwilling Nweke. Victoria Maersk will be suspended after picking up a second yellow card against Vilita, and an illness rules out Roman Forsberg; Krister Voynov has been called up but put into the mostly reserve players red-shirt team in the last training, suggesting Savojarna’s superstar might be put into a reserve role. Daring choices, however, might be exactly what this team needs to be shaken up from a bad performance. Now, with two beatable opponents ahead of them, the Northlights can prove they are still a force to be reckoned with, slumps be damned.

Savojar 23-man-roster for November double header
vs. Nyowani Kitara (4-4-2 flat) Pakanen - Pedersen, Zirkova, Dmitriev, Viipuri - Aarsoy, Klaebo, Lundell, Jashkin - Ehlers, Alvesen
vs. Devonta (4-4-2 flat) Pakanen - Pedersen, Zirkova, Nymark, Viipuri - Voynov, Maersk, Lundell, Jashkin - Ehlers, Smolov
Bench (both games) Virulainen, Sharin, Kiivälä, Palsdottir, Loeseth, Poulsen, Gyldenström, Hedenberg

[Lathamford]

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WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION 89: MD12
Sylestone 1-1. Lathamford
Otto Farrowsteam '25 ׀ Tumble Dryer '58
@ Sentient Oval, Kirkham (cap. 29,275 toilet seats)	׀ Game Sponsor: NIL

1: The match is underway.
8: The dishwasher is shown a Yellow Card. ▍
9: Bar Stool takes a shot. That's off-target.
12: Kingsley came close to a goal by firing just wide.
16: A shot from Tumble Dryer bounced off the crossbar.
18: Lathamford give a free-kick.
20: Fridge had all the goals to aim at but fired wastefully wide.
25: Although there were strong claims for offside, Farrowsteam simply scored a valid goal. 
29: Lathamford give a freekick
31: Wolfsong headed a cross just wide.
37: Tumble Dryer takes a shot. It's on target but saved.
45: Bar Stool takes a shot. It's on target but saved.
51: A shot from Mixer bounced off the crossbar.
52: Grantham takes a shot. That's off-target.
58: Tumble Dryer produced a trademark turn in the box to fool his marker before slotting the ball past the goalkeeper. 
65: Lathamford has given a freekick
69: Sylestone has given a corner kick
70: Substitution by Lathamford player Wolfsong make way for Skelmersdale 
77: Stove came close to a goal by firing just wide.
81: Farrowsteam broke away from the defense and hammered a shot straight towards goal... and right into the waiting hands of the goalie.
84: Substitution by Lathamford player T. Ashleigh make way for Wyvernchaser  
85: The keeper pulled off a brilliant save from Wyvernchaser
87: Substitution by Lathamford player Grantham make way for Falconderry 
91: End of the game.

Line Up

Glowsnarl, Decker (C), Wolfsong (Skelmersdale), J. Ashleigh, Faraday, T. Ashleigh (Wyvernchaser), du Graypelt, Selfridges, Grantham (Falconderry), Kingsley, Farrowsteam

Statistic so far..

World Cup Q89
Group 18:: MD1		Darmen		1-0			 Morten Clawbrand 	▍Dustin Skelmersdale
Group 18:: MD2		Schima Bas	1-1			 Otto Farrowsteam 	▍ Joe Wymondham, Clayton Decker
Group 18:: MD3		Sylestone	1-0			 Joe Wymondham       ▍ Martin Haymoore
Group 18:: MD4		Eura		0-2
Group 18:: MD5		Talamia		0-1
Group 18:: MD6		Srednjaci	1-0			 Otto Farrowsteam 	▍ Bradley Barrington
Group 18:: MD7		Agresos		1-1			 Carter Colfield	▍Dustin Skelmersdale [Suspended next game]
Group 18:: MD8		Melbergia	1-0			 Otto Farrowsteam	▍ Xavier Wolfsong
Group 18:: MD9		Chromatika	0-1	
Group 18:: MD10		Darmen		0-2
Group 18:: MD11		Schima Bas	1-2			 Morten Clawbrand
Group 18:: MD12		Sylestone	1-1			 Otto Farrowsteam
		

Scorer: World Cup Q89
Otto Farrowsteam		4
Morten Clawbrand		2
Joe Wymondham			1
Carter Colfield			1

The MD12 match, this time between Lathamford and Sylestone took place at Sentient Oval, Kirkham. The Speedy Cat this time around dropped almost half of the reserve players to replace the injured and exhausted regulars. Among the newly first eleven players include Featherwood FC Locomotive defender Joseph Ashleigh; midfielder Simon Faraday is also Locomotive Featherwood FC, and Spartak Eaglearm FC striker Frederick Grantham. Playing at the opponent's place is a situation that gives us less luck, statistics state that the national team often loses in our matches at the opponent's place. However, their fighting spirit is to be commended, against Sylestone they managed to take home one point and give some relief to the coaching staff when our previous three matches did not record a victory. The draw at least gave a little encouragement for our players to prepare against one of the strongest teams in the tournament namely Eura at MD13. We took the lead with Otto Farrowsteam's goal in the 25th minute, but the opponents managed to equalize through Tumble Dryer in the 58th minute, thus thwarting the opportunity to repeat history on MD3, where we managed to beat Sylestone 1-0 at Thousandforks. For this MD13 match, head coach Pedro Menendez is predicted to bring down a nearly identical starting line -up including retaining the attacking trio of Grantham, Kingsley, and Farrowsteam. Rumors that Farrowsteam will be leaving the country to play in foreign leagues are also getting louder and louder by fans, so we are just waiting for the confirmation of this news soon.

[Saltstead]

MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this post is meant to represent the personal opinions of the author about any person, place, thing or idea. Read with caution.

---

The Royal House of Sport, Ashwell
48 hours before Matchday 12

---

Aleksänder knelt in front of his desk, his armed stretched across the surface supporting his upper body. He was exhausted. Wading through the sea of plushes in the Royal Saltsteadish Football Association headquarters was exhausting. The corridors of the Royal House of Sport—and the National Park for that matter—were overflowing.

Granted, it wasn’t all Cthulhu. Much of it—no, nearly all of it—was a bunch of pranksters stuffing the corridors for a sick laugh, but it was annoying all the same. Thankfully the bums were in the hands of the justice system and the clean-up efforts were proceeding nicely, but that wasn’t quite enough yet.

Aleksänder couldn’t stay in this position, though: there was still work to do. After finally catching his breath, he picked himself up and sat himself down in his computer chair. First up: checking what had piled up in his email inbox.

Dear Nations of Ordinary Reality

The Great Old Ones Friendship Initiative would like to invite your nation to join GOOFI!

“GOOFI?” Aleksänder had a confused look on his face. Of course, there was that communication mishap with them—at least as far as the official story went—, but the National Eleven were still able to enjoy a nice philosophical dialogue with the visiting Imperial team. And the crumpets were absolutely scrumptious, he did have to admit. Probably something to do with Great Old One magic or the like.

We’re also unclear over whether Saltstead have actually joined or not, though we did enjoy the philosophical
discussion over the nature of the Divine with their football team in the first half of qualifying.

“Hmm… that tea was delicious, to be fair…”

But—of course—the whole “pledge of your immortal souls to worship us in all eternity” business was concerning, even if it really was mad haggis-loving cultists who were responsible for the letter. Still, the memory of being in the private office of the Chancellor and getting torn a new arsehole was humiliating. The week-long observation of everyone involved in the Ashwell match by the Royal City’s Health Department was excruciating. The fact that arseholes had taken the opportunity to make the National Park virtually unusable for the rest of qualifying was infuriating. The Beet’s article ‘The international community destroys Saltstead to prevent reality from collapsing’ was downright embarrassing. He couldn’t afford to piss anyone off like this again, even if it did mean making Great Cthulhu sad.

“You don’t have a choice, Aleks…” he said with a sigh. “I still can’t believe the Chancellor dragged me to his office…”

Luckily for Mr Blåuveud, there was a convenient little form enclosed. He just had to read it over about a half dozen times just to make sure there wasn’t any nonsense about “[a]n eternity as gibbering mad cultists enslaved to our uncaring will” in there, but satisfied that there was not:

NATION NAME: The Saltsteadish Confederation [short form name: Saltstead]

QUALIFYING GROUP: 7

NUMBER OF WORLD CUPS QUALIFIED FOR: 1 (to date)

NUMBER OF WORLD CUP FINALS REACHED: 0

NUMBER OF WORLD CUPS WON: 0

MY FAVOURITE MEMBER OF THE HOLY EMPIRE SQUAD IS: Coothulhu. Audioslavian giants are always popular here in Saltstead and we greatly admire his ambition and drive. Plus, he is maddeningly adorable.

WE DO NOT WISH TO JOIN GOOFI BECAUSE (choose as many as apply):

• The Great Old Ones scare us
• The Great Old Ones smell
• The Great Old Ones drove someone I know insane
• We prefer Euclidean geometry
• [X] We dislike mad cultists
• [X] Unwilling to join a formal friendship group
• Just have better things to do

Having had time to consider the matter further, we would not like to proceed with joining GOOFI. Unfortunately, the events which unfolded following our last invitation have created certain security concerns in the eye of Saltstead’s Federal Government and the Royal Saltsteadish Football Association is consequently unable to commit to any formal initiatives at this time.

However, we remain fully committed to the principle of mutual understanding between the Mortal and Dreamed Realms and we remain open to another session of tea, crumpets, scones and erudite yet kindly debate on the leading issues of the day when the National Eleven visit Imperial City for our return match. We will also be pleased to present you with gifts of freshly-roasted Saltsteadish coffee (again) and traditional Saltsteadish pastries, with a customary pinch of world-famous Saltsteadish salt to bring out the flavours of our freshest fruits.

We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience and thank you in advance for your kindness and understanding.

SIGNED ON BEHALF OF the Saltsteadish Confederation: Aleksänder Blåuveud, Executive Director, Royal Saltsteadish Football Association

DATE: Matchday 12. We will be in Imperial City anyway for a qualifying match and would love to join you once again for tea and crumpets.

“And… send.”

Now he just had to hope that Zacharias didn’t actually pledge his immortal soul to the worship of the Great Old Ones in all eternity. At least it was a better option than an eternity as gibbering mad cultists enslaved to their uncaring will, though.

“Never again…”

---

★
The Royal Saltsteadish Football Association
Royal House of Sport, Ashwell

---

---

Holy Empire : Saltstead
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday 12
Imperial Hippodrome, Imperial City , Holy Empire
— and —
Saltstead: Holy Empire
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday 13
Park der Fründens, Cersehorst, Saltstead
Starting line-up (4–5–1): Robert-Jan van Daal; Gunner Stepħenssen, Jan-Pijr Åudenberg, Serena van Middelkamp, Catharine de Vriħt (captain); Natasħa Aħterop, Benni Sħåul, Violeta Igesleven, Mina Ratmaker, Nico Joxepħssen; Reinhard Åubreħtssen
Substitute bench: Kathrinita Äsħes, Julij Kåler; Micħäl Aurelius, Pijr Josefssen, Sebastien van Can, Victoria Rothöüf; Marina Jager, Constantijn van Bleck, Anne Hodmaker, Theodor Felicianus, Aleksa le Duc; Stepħanie Withöüf

---

[Farfadillis]

Now back in print after a brief ten-year hiatus!

Unconvincing win at home still not as bad as that draw with Eastfield Lodge

Facing 336th-in-the-Multiverse Usanguk, at home, you would have been forgiven for thinking la Vherderoja would have little trouble securing three vital points for their qualification endeavors. After all, only three points separated Farfadillis from surprise package Atheara going into matchday eleven. Still, Usanguk not being a threatening opponent, it was not surprising when Lele Manguele announced a heavily rotated starting line-up, featuring none of the usual starters and, indeed, not featuring many of the usual substitutes. It was a chance for the unheralded to impress and impress they did not.

With many players out of position, it was initially hard for Farfadillis to truly gain control of the game, despite facing a team with no names this journalist could remember at the time of writing. Most notoriously, Kolejes Marajis, a winger by trade, was put in goal. This, curiously, makes Marajis only the tenth player to get a cap as a goalkeeper for Farfadillis, even though la Vherderoja has now been around for fifty-eight years. The Indujan winger, sporting his new bald-with-a-burn-scar-here-and-there haircut and his ragged multiple-cigarette-burns-in-the-face look, looked very shaky in goal, with even the timid, mediocre long-range attempts from Usanguk's players causing him moderate amounts of trouble. Indeed, twenty-five minutes into the game, Kolejes made a big mistake when trying to intercept an errant cross, leaving Usanguk's striker in front of an open net and Farfadillis trailing, at home, to a completely unknown team.

It did not take long for Farfadillis to make up for the setback: the young, prodigious, though still very much green Böávêntür Âgínsôgnó made a good case that maybe he should get a few more minutes next time, by virtue of being the only player who played kind of decently given the expectations. Just four minutes after Usanguk took the lead, he dribbled past four Usanguk players then calmly put the ball beyond the opposing goalkeeper's reach. Bizarrely, however, he did not even come close to repeating the same feat, as effortlessly as it looked. Did he stop caring? Was he lucky? We'll have to see more of him to be sure.

Farfadillis went on to dominate for the rest of the match, but the performance was still awfully poor. The strikers, Mâánéràtö Jíí and Ülì Èsàsè, had a particularly poor match. This was no surprise in the case of Jíí, who's believed to only have been called up by Manguele because he is based in Astograth. The guy hasn't even scored for Antiguoko this season! In Èsàsè's case, however, his performance was much more eyebrow-raising, as he's a starter for a top S-FPL club. Anyway: the pair missed six clear-cut chances between them.

Twenty-two minutes into the second half, La Querida (yes, La Querida) winger Yonatoño de la Garza scored the winner for Farfadillis, making the most of the first minutes of his debút. It had only been two minutes since he'd replaced the disappointing Çè Sêwansé, but the Faroleran had no trouble netting Farfadillis two more points with a rocket from the edge of the box, using his weak foot and all. This would be his only relevant contribution throughout his time on the pitch, however: he struggled to generate danger after that, with the state of the pitch and his inappropriate footwear not synergizing well with his run-fast-down-the-flank approach to the game.

All in all, a worrying performance from the national team, and a possible omen for worse things to come. Hopefully, the full-strength starting eleven will not struggle as much. Lele Manguele must remember that qualification is not guaranteed, as much as we Farves have come to expect it, and he got off easy yesterday. Matches against Drawkland and Atheara loom ahead, and a particularly bad string of results could see us standing on the outside looking in. Still, this game was not worse than drawing with Eastfield Lodge. Eastfield Lodge.


Today's Top Stories:
Legal arguments begin over possible kidnapping charges in response to Pan Xilei permanently signing with La Querida; club laughs off worries
Cryptocurrency cult continues to make gains in the war for control of Induja
Study shows Farves that missed school because of the brief total collapse of Farf society did not fare measurably worse later on in life than their school-attending counterparts
Professional footballers now making up only 9% of immigrants
Farf engineering degrees no longer recognized in Banija, per new legislation

[Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison]

After another amazing draw with Zwangzug,Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison will face Southwest Eastnorth again for the World Cup Qualifiers.

The team is already in risk of not qualifying,but it at least arrived at its goal of at least 8 points.

After seeking vengeance against Southwest Eastnorth,the team will try to avenge themselves against current group leaders,Permecutan,this time with Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison having field mandate.

SOURCE:Natanians and Nosts' media.

[Valanora]

Is Dan Eastwood the best manager that has ever managed Raynor City United? While the Euran has only been in charge of the Rockers for three seasons, he has managed to do everything so far in his tenure, including bringing the Champions League title to the club, a feat that made him an instant hero among the supporters with it being such a long time since the side had brought home the top level international domestic championship. While the team is tied for the most titles in the UICA/IFCF eras, it has been quite many cycles since that top tier title had been won by the Rockers and it has been accompanied by three domestic titles, a regional title, a Silver Cup title, a Cup Winners' Cup title, and the most interesting of all in the Rising Stars Cup. In his short three years at the helm of the club, he has brought in eight pieces of top level silverware, which is an impressive feat even by the very lofty standards that Raynor City United has set for itself with its long lasting legacy of success. There are few in the legendary clubs history who could boast such an impressive record, much less in such a short amount of time.

If there is someone who might be able to have a better claim, it might in fact be Didrik Gjedrem, who took over management of the club when the all the elves disappeared and yet despite that impossibly difficult circumstance, was able to not only stabilize the club but also had it prosper. That he has continued to perform at such a high quality level with the national team definitely backs up the claims, as every single thing that Didrik Gjedrem has touched has turned to gold. Yet for all his success, he failed at bringing home the top level international championship and that was something that Eastwood was able to deliver in his first two seasons in charge of the club. While the domestic titles, cup titles, and regional titles are quite valuable in their own right, it is the international success that really separates the great from the very best at the end of the day. While there is no doubt that Didrik's time with United will be remembered fondly by the supporters of the club and by future footballing historians, it does feel like Eastwood has the edge up with that Champions League capture for the team.

However Didrik Gjedrem has bigger problems to try and solve than his club career legacy, with the Marauders having suffered and unexpected first loss in their trip to Sendhang and now are second in the table despite their rather good record from the opening first eleven games. However the Marauders get a chance to retake the lead in the table in just a few days, as it is Vdara who has leapfrogged the Marauders into the group lead after the dropped points in their road voyage. Unfortunately, it will be a trip to Vdara and not a fight in the comforts of Capri and the Hatire Memorial, although Vdara will be having nightmares thinking about that first half tie after the Marauders had blitzed them to the tune of a six goal barrage in a dominant home victory. Despite the shattering that the Marauders gave them, Vdara has kept it steady and now has managed to find themselves into first place after the Marauders first real stumble of the campaign. It will be a very interesting tie for the side to try and navigate, after their last voyage away from the Eternal Empire ended in disappointment.

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: Inspired by the recent surge of Critical Race Theory being taught in American schools and some companies - thanks, Chris Rufo.

Vice-President Robert Pike's comments about immigrants to Saint Eleanor do not necessarily reflect my views about immigrants to the United Kingdom, where I live, or elsewhere.

---

The Temple of the Living God
Episode II: The Fear

6:08pm - Thursday 18th April 1996

Another day, another fancy restaurant, another table with Charlotte Morgan and one of her co-workers. This time, however, she was sat opposite Bobby Pike, Veep for Literacy, Numeracy, and Other Vaguely Educational Things. By his admission thirty or forty-five minutes ago, all he wanted to do was get away from the pressures of actually having to improve Eleanorian schools for a few hours... wish denied.

"So..." noted Morgan, as she slid over a copy of that day's Eleanorian (page six, to be precise), "you've read the front cover, haven't you?" Pike eagerly grabbed hold of the paper and started reading its report about the diversity training program - perhaps to his dismay.

"These are, to say the least, extremely sad people," remarked Pike a couple of minutes later, if that. "George has gone all-in on trying to emphasise that everybody in Saint Eleanor is an Eleanorian, regardless of what they look like or what they can do. And now this happens? Now, this Derek chap was saying something..."

"Yes, he was, Robert. The point he's making is pretty much the same point you've wanted to make: that workers should focus on working, managers on managing, students on studying, teachers on teaching - and not at all on pretending to oppose whatever racist memes are floating about that don't even concern the most radical agitator, never mind the most nondescript factory hand, in the country."

"That black woman consultant from Soche or whatever hasn't entered schools yet. She might, soon; alternatively, one of the people she works with could. If somebody does and attempts to tell them whatever they told the meatpackers, I'll start agreeing with you."

"Oh dear... I expected somebody of your position to be more erudite and more capable of remembering people's names than this."

"That's not the fucking point, Charlotte. What I'm trying to get at here is that this woman is going for the wrong people and talking about the wrong problem. Racist bullying in schools is almost zero - possibly because of geographical self-selection or something, human geography wasn't my favourite part of school. Racist bullying at work is also almost zero. George is doing infinitely better at promoting good relations than those Tinhamptonians from a zillion miles away had been all this time and that isn't making the people who live here any more or less racist. You'd have to fail your exams to believe whatever this woman says!"

"You were talking about workmates abusing each oth—"

"If your net is as big as the ocean, obviously you're going to nab every fish in sight. For example, I have no idea why she lumps together 'meritocracy' and 'hard work' and 'talent' and 'being a white person' and all those other buzzwords as racism - for want of a better word. She's also claiming that immigrants taking lower-paid jobs is a sign of racism... again. Perhaps it's a sign of the fact that half of them don't want to get past Chapter 8 of David's Basic English and the first long division exercise of Maths for Absolute Beginners. At least their sprogs are doing better at this."

"Do you really think that explains the racial pay gap?"

"White Tinhamptonians are 90% of the population and work 90% of the jobs - including almost all of the jobs that existed in the late 1970s when Saint Eleanor was just getting to grips with independence. Why wouldn't it?"

"I see no reason why it can't be closed," said Morgan; "I've always been convinced that anybody in the country can be just about anything they want, including the President's child-in-law. Anyway, enough of that. Here's this extremely short editorial from the Reporter, the other big newspaper, if you want to have a look." It appears that Derek Johnson had gotten his man - and then some.

"Whoever wrote that hit the bloody nail on the head," proclaimed Pike. "Obviously he doesn't talk about it, but of all the immigrants I've met in my travels, especially the young kids, I haven't met a single one that's been offended by anything that isn't clearly repulsive to Jack Reasonable - only slightly disturbed for a few minutes. Not that they'll remain that hard-headed for long, of course."

[Vilita]

♫ Recycle Time... Back again... Nikkii's Back... Back again... ♫

Alright Alright Alright. Lets talk about the Elephant in the Room. Not literally, of course, but either way. Lets talk about Cavuna Aquafek.

Many of you know Aquafek as the current head coach of the Vilitan National Team. Lets get into that in a minute. First lets go back to the beginning. Like most head coaches of the Vilitan National Team, Aquafek was once a player for the Jungle Cats. In fact, Aquafek has even pulled on the Cove Blue and Coral a few times since taking over as manager looking to prove the youngsters that they still had some skills and perhaps add a little umph to the statements and directions being blasted from the sidelines.

As far as I could tell, Cavuna Aquafek made their debut for the Vilita National Team during the World Cup 72 Finals against Yttribia. It was a 3-3 draw for the Jungle Cats who had a 3-0 lead at half time and squandered it but still managed to esccape from the Group Stage and on to the knockout rounds. Aquafek would make their debut coming in on the 65th minute for Westii Yahaya.

Aquafek's career would take a rocket direction from there being named as a primary to the Vilitan Squad for World Cup 73 Qualifying at the age of just 18 years old and then being named to the Galacticos Long List for the 66th UICA Cycle after winning the Vilitan Stellar Division with the Turoki Tide.

Aquafek would be a key player in leading the Jungle Cats to the World Cup 77 title and - along with teammate Polaox Torerun - would be a Finalists for the Galacticos during the 69th UICA campaign after also winning the UICA Globe Cup with the Turoki Tide. Altogether, Aquafek would be named in the Galacticos 8 times but perhaps the crowning moment of the career for Aquafek came as the Veteran presence helping a new generation of Vilitan stars write a new page in the history books with back to back victories in World Cup 81 and World Cup 82.

The back-to-back World Cup Champions were a team immortalized in stone in Alikki-Corra. The staff could seemingly do no wrong. But while Time heals all wounds - it is also numb to the successes of the past. When the Vilitan National Team failed to win any of their first three matches of World Cup 87 Qualifying - including a first ever back-to-back goalless draws, the Football Association of Vilita decided that they were done living in the past. Aquafek, who had come on as a second half substitute in the stunning goalless draw against 289th ranked Hebitaka was asked by the Association to take over as Manager of the Vilitan National Team, effective immediately.

Aquafek's first match in charge was a massive boost to the credibility of the decision and they got the perfect performance from longtime teammate Polaox Torerun who scored a double during a 5-2 thrashing of unranked Widaya. Aquafek would win their first four matches as National Team head coach - each with Mako Canopii in goal, and would go unbeateb through 12 games before finally suffering a first defeat late in the World Cup 87 Qualifying campaign against Balqia. Luckily, by that time, Aquafek had already done enough to get the team through to the finals. The long time Turoki Tide midfielder even put on the boots for the final game of World Cup 87 Qualifying and scored the game winner as a substitute against the State of Trinity to become the first ever Vilita National Team Player/Manager to score the game winning goal in a World Cup Sanctioned match they were also coaching.

The fans were fully bought in. The media was in full support. There was just one problem. Vilita had fallen to Pot 2. The Jungle Cats crashed out of the World Cup 87 Group Stage and would have it all to do again building from the ground up during World Cup 88. No longer a mid-campaign hire, the 88th World Cup cycle was fully on Aquafek and in reality, the team did alright. Another cycle with a pair of games against Savojarna and Hebitaka was marred only by the freak incident in the 14 Stars that temporarily injured some of the Jungle Cats star players and weakened the lineup that would be held to a goalless draw against Baptism of Fire winners Eshialand. Aquafek and the Jungle Cats would rebound and once more secure Qualification to the World Cup Finals.

Despite being a Pot 2 team, most critics agreed that the Jungle Cats had received a favorable draw for the World Cup 88 Finals. While the matchup against the 3rd Ranked GOOFI friends of The Holy Empire was almost certainly going to be a difficult fixture - but outside of that Vilita would face off against 50th ranked Jeruselem and 35th ranked Mercedini. Despite taking care of business against Mercedini in a 4-0 victory, Aquafek's Jungle Cats were undone by Jeruselem in a lopsided 2-5 scoreline setting up a must win fixture against the favored Holy Empire which, unsurprisingly, Vilita did not win.

It would be the first back-to-back Group Stage exits for the Vilita National Team since World Cup 71 - the second of back to back Group stage Exits following a similar ejection from the World Cup 70 finals.

Now, Jungle Cat fans, lets see if you were keeping track. When was Cavuna Aquafek's debut for the Vilita National Team? That's Right. World Cup 72. Cavuna Aquafek, who made their debut for Vilita during World Cup 72, had never suffered back-to-back group stage exits from the World Cup Finals. Until now.

Many fans called for a change when the final whistle was blown against The Holy Empire. Others wanted patience as Aquafek had only had one full season at helm. Patience won out - at least for the start of the World Cup 89 Qualifying cycle. An early victory over Barunia was a good sign for a team that had dropped points on two straight opening matchdays, but thats when things started to fall apart. The Jungle Cats were thrashed 0-4 at home be Savojarna in a matchup that was critical to their qualification chances and a virtually unexplainable result for the oddsmakers. From there, Vilita would go on the road and drop a 2-4 result to unranked side Mertagne - followed up by more lost points on the road against another Unranked side, Arjunnagar, who failed to even provide the media with a list of the players on their roster. Despite being just four matches into World Cup 89 Qualifying, the Jungle Cats had already assured a place in the history books with one of the worst Starts to a World Cup Qualifying campaign for a Top Seed nation in history.

Yet the Football Assocation of Vilita did not take action and has backed Aquafek to lead the Jungle Cats out of the hole and back into the World Cup Finals. And lets hope they do - because it would be a shame for the legacy of a three time World Cup winner to be defined by a trio of statistically improbably results against unranked opposition at the start of a World Cup Qualifying campaign.

Let me know your thoughts on the decision to keep Aquafek behind the bench!