World Cup 88- Roleplay Thread

by **Zwangzug** » Sun May 16, 2021 7:17 pm

The Kerlagrad Courier

Coming Soon: Definitely not a climactic big game, that is for darn sure

While details remain scant, screenwriter Murphy Quinn has pledged that her upcoming football-themed film will be released by the end of the World Cup 88 qualifiers (consult your local authorities for appropriate time dilation conversions). Moreover, she has hinted at the script's plot by pledging that the story will be neither "one of those corny forced plotlines where the heroes overcome adversity and pull together to win the big game in the end," nor "one of those stupid plotlines where the heroes overcome adversity and pull together only to lose the big game in the end."

"I mean, geez, do you think I went to film school so I could play Fire Escape by Frog and Toad over a training montage?" Quinn said rhetorically. "Do you think we held auditions for men and women who knew how to kick a football, just to shove in some contrived heteronormative subplot about how one partner just doesn't understand? Do you think we got cameos from real-life broadcasters to appear at the beginning and make some guess about the long odds of our heroes winning it all only to eat their words in the end? Do you? Really?"

"I mean, we didn't do that last thing," Quinn clarified, "but that's only because most of our announcers are too goofy and weird even to be movie extras."

While deriding the "cliché and formulaic" tropes of plucky underdogs achieving both team spirit and on-field success, Quinn had even more scorn for the "cynical hacks" who attempt to subvert these formulas by having their protagonists lose the big game in the end. "What's even the bleeping point. If I wanted to watch the heartless vicissitudes of randomness or experience the realism of regression to the mean, I'd go watch actual sports. You know? The thing that they show live on TV from zillions of countries all year round?" Quinn pointed out. "And let's not pretend this is some nationalistic thing where some parts of the world believe in happy endings and some don't. Nuh-uh. Most of the pretentious twerps who don't believe in happy endings think that it was totally fine for our ancestors to write inspiring and hopeful narratives, but at some point in the past, a switch flipped and closure and denouement became immature. To which I say: bold of you assuming that time is even linear, the way some of these countries are. Bleep the haters."

"And if you think it would be cool and neat to have a frame-story or flash-forwards to the main characters' tragic or premature deaths," she added, "what the bleep is wrong with you."

While football certainly has a vibrant tradition in Zwangzug, it hasn't been well-represented in fictional works (perhaps because truth is often stranger than fiction). A few fans on internet forums have speculated that the characterizations in the bilingual dystopian film Worm Holes/Wondi Pōēnandumak are, very loosely, based on football personalities from the first-generation team. But as the title might suggest, at least in-characterwise it has more to do with baseball than football. Indeed, with baseball being more of the "established" sport in pre-modern history, it has shown up in several popular Zwangzugian films. These include:

-Parks Department Field, an animated film praised for its diverse cast of child characters but criticized for its "unrealistic" portrayals of kids socializing and making friends without structured adult supervision. It was almost released as Parks Department Field #2 before people worried this might give the false impression it was a sequel.
-The Floodlands, a magical-realism drama about a man who has otherworldly encounters after opening a Yaforite baseball encyclopedia
-Limb of the Tree, a very loose retelling of a medieval saga, updated to feature a contemporary left-hander with a semi-mythic bat. Perhaps proving Quinn's point about different cultures' attitudes towards happy endings, the original script featured a relatively happy ending even though the protagonist retired due to injury. The original actor slated to play her, however, flatly refused and thought the end should represent failure/corruption. The writer refused to back down, so the actor was replaced by a stand-in at the last minute, whose scenes are very obviously filmed backwards because the replacement was right-handed. Despite the atrocious editing, this has held up rather well as an example of Zwangzugian cinema in terms of its soundtrack and humor (although this might just be because our cinema is very bad).
-everything else we imported from Quintessence of Dust.

As for the historical underpinnings of this project, Quinn has said merely that the movie will be set in an "under-reported period of our sporting history," which honestly could mean anything, but does mean it probably won't be about the national team or even fictionalized versions thereof.

(Idmar 37)

by **Xanneria** » Sun May 16, 2021 7:42 pm

Supply chain issues stunt Maroons growth, and cost them 5 points
EXTRACTED FROM: http://www.xtrasports.xan/nationalteam.htm

XANNERIA - With the next world cup a year away (or in Xanneria's case most likely next Cup of Harmony), the qualifiers have been in full swing. The big talking point had been a report coming from Electrum state run media company "The Turnip". The Turnip at the first week of match days had written up a report talking about a substance of unknown metaphysical origin called "Ripperoni" or as it is more commonly known as "RP". It has finally appeared that Clive Bacon head of the Football League of Xanneria and Football Association of Xanneria has decided to finally put out a statement.

We here at both FLOX and FAX have heard about the report pushed out by the Electrum National Media. We have been aware of the presence of the Ripperoni "drug" and its positive effects on the sporting world of the Multiverse. We want to point out that as far as we know, it is not a harmful substance and in terms of Xannerian domestic sports is fully legal. Though after putting in a huge amount of Ripperoni into our domestic system last "cycle" we did not see the supposed effects of said Ripperoni. We believe that this may be due to most Xannerian athlete's suffering from a condition that prevents Ripperonin from taking full effect. This condition is named after it's discoverer Yvette Nona-Ryder and is known simply as "Ryder's Block". To Make matters worse we had planned a special version of "Ripperonin" to be distributed to our players but supply issues prevented this special version of Ripperoninh to be distributed. The plan was to use an alternative form of Ripperonin known as "coppipasta". The plan was to use the following "coppipasta" about a Ranorian Soccer fan, but with out any way to get it out our players suffered. Now after this communication we will make a st

Below was the attached formula of "Coppipasta"

WHAT IS A GOAL 

1. You can't just be up there and just scorin' a goal like that.
1a. A goal is when you
1b. Okay well listen. A goal is when you kick the
1c. Let me start over
1c-a. The player is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, ball, that uses the his hands from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that.
1c-b. Once the player is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna score on ya! I'm gonna  kick one by you! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that.
1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to kick and then don't kick, you have to still kick. You cannot not kick. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2). You gotta be, doin the kicking motion of the ball, and then, until you just kick it.
1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the leg back here, like this, but then there's the goal you gotta think about.
1c-b(2)-b.Johanna Gole hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in Esportivan History X.
1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Errand Boy too! That would be even worse.
1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Errand, "The Errandboy." Haha, classic...
1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A goal is when a player makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the ball and field of
2. Do, do a goal please.

Xanneria vs Qasden
??? 51' 0-1
K Falcon 59' 1-1
??? 70' 1-2
A Vito 82' 2-2

Xanneria vs Bigtopian Isles
C Brower 39' 1-0

Xanneria vs Himebaugh
C Brower 8' 1-0
C Brower 22' 2-0
??? 35' 2-1
??? 40' 2-2
B Feltzer 69' 3-2
??? 80' 3-3

Xanneria vs Ranoria
17' B Chlorid 0-1
30' C Brower 1-1
33' K Falcon 2-1
44' E Germann 2-2
67' B Chlorid 2-3

by **Pemecutan** » Sun May 16, 2021 8:19 pm

CHAPTER I : THE TENSION BUILD UP || CHAPTER II: THE ACCIDENT

CHAPTER III

The sun has wane as the day is nearing to fell asleep with the moon rising up to brighten up the night. The atmosphere in the changing room of Pemecutan is quite gloomy. It is their second match in home ground and yet they are losing again. They even being defeated in the country's main stadium, Tegeh Kori National Stadium. They are losing 1-3 against Twicetagria with Arya Tungga Wijaya scored their only goal. The loss is a big blow for the team after their big win against Libonesia before.

"What is wrong with you, boys?" ask Coach Pramana who just entered the changing room. He feels confused with all the gloom in his players face.

"We have failed again, Coach. Another lost," answer Laksamana who is seating to the right of where the Coach is standing.

Coach Pramana just smile widely. "It's okay, boys. Cheer up. It's our fifth games. There are many match to come. Our opponent is surely better than us. But it doesn't make us feel bad all of a sudden." Coach Pramana pause for a second while scanning his players. He just wants them to forget the loss and keep their spirit for the next away match. "We have lost, a lot. We also have won several time. Makes all of the result as your energy for the next match. We are not over yet. There are still many points that we can grab. Don't make one lost give all of you this feeling. We are not give up yet, aren't we?"

No one answered his last question. "We are not give up yet, aren't we?!" Coach Pramana increase his tone. Still just a murmurs. "Aren't we?!" He finally shouts.

"YES, COACH!!!!" All of them answered in unison making the Coach smile widely. They are making a circle and holding up one another.

THE ROAD LIES AHEAD

Arya Tungga Wijaya is seating alone at the beach east of the capital. They were just finished practicing at the beach before heading to The Sahstan for their next match. When everyone is busy chatting and playing around, Arya seems to have a lot in his thoughts. Laksamana who is paying attention towards Arya strange behavior finally approach him.

"May I seat here?" Laksamana ask politely. Arya looking at him in a glance before nodding for agreement. He then take the place beside Arya. They are both looking at the beach. The wave is washing over the shoreline as the tide is rising up. Sometimes the seawater reached where they are seating making their feet wet. "The beach can always makes you calm especially when you have a problem." Laksamana suddenly spoken.

"They are right. You are really like a psychic," says Arya without looking at him.

"What's on your mind, kiddo?" He ask while he is messing with Arya's hair.

"I feel like I'm getting bored with my club." Arya finally opened up. Laksamana just seating there in silence while glancing at him several times. "No matter how much I give them goals but it always finished in the lower half."

"So you want to reach a bigger club?" Laksamana guessing.

"Well, not really. I just want to know how it feels to lift a trophy," Arya says.

"Hhmm. Well, it is all about opportunity and how your teammates working up together. We are in a team sport so everyone is matter. You have to have a solid team for that," Laksamana try to explain.

"We are working hard but it seems that it is not enough to lift the club to a better place. At least we can be promoted. But it never happen," Arya's face become sad.

"The luck is also play in their part. Isn't your club have foreign players now?" Arya just nods his head. "Maybe it will be different this time. Put trust on your club and your teammates. Hopefully the luck will be on your side," says Laksamana while hugging Arya from the side.

"I'm hoping for that too. Maybe not a title but at least we can play in Kasa League. That would be awesome," Arya's eyes seems to be glowing.

"You want to play in the big league, aren't you?" ask Laksamana.

"Yeah. It's my dream. But it seems that it will be hard to come true if my club keep like this," Arya tone change again. A little sad tone.

"Give your club a chance. Just another one. If they failed again then you can consider to move on from your club," advise Laksamana.

"Do you think they will mad at me because of that?" ask Arya while looking at Laksamana. It is the first time he looks at him quite intense from they started their talks.

"Why would they? It is your dream to play in a bigger league, right?" Arya nods for Laksamana's comment. "If you feel that your club is unable to be your vessel to reach for your dream then it is a time to find another vessel."

"You think so?" Arya ask again. Laksamana nods his head in agreement. "Don't feel bad about it because it is your dream that at stake," Laksamana added.

"Thanks, Laks. You are really a big brother," Arya says with a wide smile and they are both laughing loudly. Both of them then joined the rest of the team. They are ready to heading back to their place.

Finally, the team arrived at The Sahstan. They are starting their preparation before the match. The practice session is a mild one as Coach Pramana doesn't want his players become too exhausted for their match. Just a simple warming up, relaxation and several mild moves like dribbling and passing. As usual, the reporters are standing on the sidelines capturing the practice session for the upcoming match. After about 1 hours, Coach Pramana ended their practice. The players are heading towards the changing room while Coach Pramana approach the reporters for an interview session as he promise before.

"What's the matter?" Laksamana ask Karyadi when they are in the changing room. The others are busy taking a shower.

"Nothing. It's just I feel nervous with the upcoming match. I've never felt this nervous before," answer Karyadi.

"It's okay. We will be better. Just believe in yourself," Laksamana try to calm him down.

"Guess I'm losing my confidence," says Karyadi suddenly. Laksamana is looking at him with a questioning look. "All the matches that I'm in it ended with a loose. Do you think I'm still that good? I can't even help the team for a draw result," he added.

"Don't be silly. You are still as good as before, Ram. It's just that we are playing against a higher level teams than us. It's nothing to do with your skill and performance. The Coach also never directly complaining to you, right?" Karyadi just nods. "Then stop thinking nonsense. You are still one of our best midfielder this time. So don't doubting yourself."

"I'm agree with that," Bayu Narmada comes out of nowhere with only a towel wrapping below his waist. "Sorry if i overheard your talks. But I agree with Laks say. You are still a good player, Ram. No one has doubt that," Narmada continue.

"Thanks, mate. I really appreciate that," says Karyadi with a wide smile.

"Keep your chin up, Ram. And keep your spirit. Not just you but also for all of the team. We can through this with a victory," Laksamana says with a fiery tone.

"Damn, you look like the Coach, Laks!" shouts Komang Adi Prakasa who just walks in from the bathroom. The others are just laughing loudly with the silly comments.

by **Banija** » Sun May 16, 2021 9:23 pm

OOC: The below post does not reflect my OOC views about the establishment of the Anaia Region, and only reflects Banija's IC views regarding these developments.

Kabaka Mwanga at Mujaguzo Palace, in an emergency Extraordinary Cabinet meeting

The Banijan staff and foreign ministry had been in overdrive ever since the Declaration of Foxchester went public about 4 hours prior. Everyone knew what it is and nobody saw it coming- the foreign policy bomb that set scenes into chaos and put everybody into overdrive. And while the Declaration was very clear and concise on what was happening- the why was out there. The why wasn't necessarily important, however- what was important was what would happen next.

It took about 4 hours to gather the entire cabinet. And not just the political cabinet, aka the normal cabinet- the full Extraordinary cabinet. The room at the Palace was absolutely packed, with politicians, royals, and whoever the else. It's a room that would naturally get rowdy, so the aging Mwanga would have to act with authority and poise if he wanted to direct the room. "Attention!" He bellowed. He had that demeanor- he could get loud without screaming. The room fell silent as everyone took their seats.

"We're going to dive into this Foxchester Declaration. It's bad for a variety of reasons. We all know that. But we can talk about that momentarily." The Kabaka said. He looked around. "The real question is- how did we not know about this." The Kabaka was seething that he was blindsided like this. There was nothing the old man hated more than being surprised. Especially when it was an avoidable surprise.

As everyone fell silent, his voice steadily grew out of anger. "How do we NOT know about this? What have we been doing?" As he continued, he slammed his first on the table. "We have diplomats everywhere. We pay political analysts in our Foreign Ministry to study political trends in foreign nations, just like every other Foreign Ministry on Earth does. We have some of our closest allies, Chromatika and Quebec, gone from AO and not a soul heard. How much are these Ambassadors getting paid? Shouldn't they have their g-d damn ear to the ground?"

Just then, the conference phone rang. The caller ID- Banija's High Commissioner(Ambassadorial equivalent) to Quebec was calling in. "Good, let's put him on the video screen." The Kabaka said. The room was silent- they all knew better than to interrupt an angry Kabaka.

"Your Majesty," The High Commissioner. "My apologies. There was no inkling anywhere here in Quebec City, by all accounts, even the Quebecois political class-"

"Who cares what the political class knew or did not know!" The Kabaka said, seething. "This is unacceptable. Quebec is our oldest ally. You keep relationships with all sorts of politicians. This is unacceptable. I cannot be finding out stuff like this over twii.tur, it needs to come from you. Can something as large as this, 30 different nations, really be done in perfect secrecy, without so much as a leak from an aide? No- Mr. High Commissioner, you'll report to Busukuma in the morning." The room was in shocked silence. They all knew what that meant- he'd come back to Busukuma and the Kabaka would revoke his credentials. Aka, he just got fired mid-meeting.

"Your Majesty," Said Isebantu Mutungi. "I don't think this is a move that can be reversed. They clearly have been planning this for a long time. I'm not sure how we didn't even get wind of this, but we need to deal with what is coming forward in the future. First? The fact that they established a big-time military alliance, called NEATO. Is that a threat? Is that defensive? That's antagonistic certainly- but we need to do some deep diving. It's a massive military alliance, right by us, with our specific exclusion. The one thing it cannot be, is ignored."

"Second." The Isebantu continued. "The claim on South Calania. South Calania is, and always has been, Atlantian Oceania. Of course it has always been Atlantian Oceania- but that it must remain so. It has never been part of Anaia, and it should not be considered part of there. We should put our diplomatic heft behind efforts to ensure that those nations stay in Atlantian Oceania, and that the benefits of our region are re-emphasized over there. Politicians will be debating these big decisions in places like Eura, we should be working the phones both in the E.O.T and on their mainland in Rushmore. We should also call Baker Park, personally, and thank them for declining their invitation."

"Last." The Isebantu said. "Calling our allies. Specifically, Premier Keri Wyse Aart of Chromatika and Prime Minister Arséne Pineau Kim of Quebec. Re-emphasizing that, while we do not like the decision and are very much opposed, that the strength of our bilateral relationships with both nations should not be questioned. History bonds us all together." Everybody in the room nodded. Everybody had their marching orders. Kabaka Mwanga placed phone calls to Chromatika and Quebec City to emphasize the above. And then, the crafted statement was released.

Banijan Statement on Anaia Secession from Atlantian Oceania

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Isebantu Mutungi, the Banijan Foreign Minister and the heir to the throne, released a statement on Behalf of the Foreign Ministry regarding Anaia's secession from Atlantian Oceania.

"Earlier today, via the Foxchester Declaration, a number of Northern nations within Atlantian Oceania have announced their decisions to walk away from the region, and form their own region, Anaia. This includes crucial Banijan allies, Quebec and Chromatika. We want it to be emphasized- the bilateral relationships between Banija and Quebec, as well as Banija and Chromatika, are crucial and highly valued. We fully expect that those relationships, while obviously effected by greater events, will maintain their strength and importance. The Kabaka called the heads of government of both nations directly and expressed his wish to continue relations as is."

"While those relationships are valued and important, we express our deep and sincerest disappointment at the 17 signatories of the Declaration of Foxchester. Geography and history both build and bind Atlantian Oceania together, and we have the some of the richest history of any region in the multiverse. Their departure from Atlantian Oceania is a loss both for the remaining nations of AO, and the nations of Anaia- it is nations turning their back on the unity and cooperation that has served us well for so many years. It is a move that we believe history will see as a mistake."

"There are many questions that the Crown, on behalf of the Banijan people, has of this organization. One of our own country's main concerns is the formation of NEATO. We call on the signatories of the Declaration of Foxchester to explain the purpose of this military alliance, and how this relates to Atlantian Oceania. The lack of communication thus far from the signatories to AO has caused problems, and the formation of this massive military alliance is, indeed, worrying. A clarification of intent for peace would be most welcome."

"Furthermore, the Crown wishes to emphasize that the Southern part of the Calania continent is Atlantian Oceania territory, and we will continue to solely recognize it as such. While Anaia nations surely have the right to take a torch to the bonds that make us strong if they so wish, we object to the borders they have set out. Furthermore, we would like to commend our long-time ally, the Commonwealth of Baker Park, for rejecting the venture."

Furthermore, the Foreign Ministry looks to issue the following statements regarding change in legal status for the seceding nations. The Foreign Ministry wishes to note ongoing economic relationship treaty talks with Chromatika.

1. Trade

As many know, AO nations received favored-nation status in terms of international trade, for both import and export. Unless there is a trade agreement that supersedes it, tariffs from AO imports are halved. Only Quebec has a treaty that supersedes this. Out of nations in Anaia, only Chromatik goods will be allowed to keep AO recognition. All other countries exports to Banija will be subject to the applicable non-AO foreign tariff rate.

2. Trade

While there is not a large immigrant population in Banija, Atlantian Oceania residents have an advantage in immigrating to Banija. Out of Anaia nations, only Quebec has a treaty that supersedes this. Out of all nations in Anaia, only Chromatik immigrants will continue to be treated as AO immigrants.

3. Consular Services

With the loss of same region status, there are undoubtedly Banijan citizens in a number of nations that will have their immigration or whatever else status change in their countries of residence. The Foreign Ministry will work around the clock to get extra staffers to our embassies and consulates, and look to open temporary consular service centers at major population centers, to ensure that Banijans are not kicked out of their country of residence because of politicians.

The statement was sent out to the world, after Mwanga reviewed it himself. He then was informed of a letter received from Chancellor Meier of Siovanija & Teusland. The reply was instant, with Mwanga letting the Chancellor know that he would personally lead the Banijan delegation to Stelburg to discuss the crisis. Soon after that, he heard President Kasekende Sr. of the Busoga Islands also RSVP'd for the meeting. Stelburg would be quite a time.

by **Pratapgadh** » Mon May 17, 2021 2:14 am

OOC Notes

The starting eleven for the next two matches against Darmen and Kohnhead are at the bottom

Exciting Developments In The Pratapgadhi Football Scene
Written By Rohan Hughes
Football
Pratapgadh has been exceptional in the qualifying stage of World Cup 88, winning three out of five matches and drawing one against Lorrana. One of their biggest achievements till now is the win against the 27th best team in the world right now, Tikariot. One of their main talking points is their amazing offence. With Pratapgadh doing well out there, how are things looking back home here in Pratapgadh? Well, this is what we are gonna talk about today as we have some exciting news for our loyal football fans. As Pratapgadh begins its rebuilding process which includes rebuilding its reputation in the international football scene, the Pratapgadh Football Association is also making some big strides this year.

One of the top news about the development of football this week is an announcement of a new competition by the PFA. On 3rd September 2025, the PFA announced that a new competition will be held annually from next year alongside the Pratapgadh Super Cup. This new competition is called the 'Pratapgadh Minor Cup'. As the name suggests, this competition will be a level below the Pratapgadh Super Cup on the new pyramid system being introduced by Pratapgadh Football Association. The new pyramid system being introduced by the PFA will now allow relegation and promotion unlike last year when the Pratapgadh Super Cup was the sole league in the country. The Chairman of the Pratapgadh Football Association, Diwakar Saxena, said during the announcement, "This was something we had planned years ago, but we had to take slow steps. As football was still recovering from its huge decline, we couldn't start with a pyramid system straight away. We are now confident after the first season of the Pratapgadh Super Cup and have decided to go ahead with the Pratapgadh Minor Cup for next year." The second season of the Pratapgadh Super Cup will be held between this year and next year (October 2025-March 2026). The bottom four teams out of the twelve teams participating will be relegated to the Pratapgadh Minor Cup. These relegated teams will join the newly formed teams in the first season of the Pratapgadh Minor Cup (2026-2027). The new teams that have been recently formed are Vadodara FC, Saurashtra United (representing the Saurashtra region in the state of Gujarat), Rajendragadh FC, Udaipur FC. In the next upcoming years, more teams would be included in the Pratapgadhi football system as promised by the PFA. This is a big step for Pratapgadhi football in the right direction.

Some other exciting news we have for the fans is that a new stadium is being built in the city of Indraprastha in East Punjab. Khorasani Constructions have taken up the job of constructing a new football stadium in Indraprastha that could seat 25,000 people. As seen in the third edition of All India Football Cup in Pratapgadh, there was a lack of good football stadiums in Pratapgadh. The PFA only owns four stadiums currently which are: Chittorgarh National Stadium, Jaipur Sports Complex, Nalesh Tandel Memorial Stadium and Veer Roberts Memorial Stadium. The other three venues used in the AIFC event were the Spirit Field in Ompur, Lavpur Sports Field and Yuddhasthal Sports Complex in Gurugram. Lavpur Sports Field had the lowest capacity of all, only being able to seat around 15,000 people. The PFA needs to build some quality stadiums that could seat huge crowds and refrain from the other venues mentioned above. Chittorgarh National Stadium could seat 35,000 people while the Jaipur Sports Complex only has 2,000 fewer seats. The Nalesh Tandel Memorial Stadium and the Veer Roberts Memorial Stadium could seat around 23,000 and 20,000 people respectively. Khorasani Constructions have some experience in building arenas and stadiums, a few examples are the Jaisalmer Cricket Ground and the 'State Of The Art Arena' in Vadodara. Till now, the Indraprastha Football Club have been using the Indraprastha Major Park as their home ground. Once the construction is complete around 2026 or 2027, the stadium will become Indraprastha FC's new home.

A new competition and a new stadium is some exciting news for fans, but what about the players you might ask? Well, the PFA has also announced that they will be building a few performance centres in major cities across Pratapgadh. During the same press conference we had on 3rd September 2025, the PFA unveiled their plans for new facilities and performance centres around Pratapgadh to further develop young talented players. These performance centres are being built in cities like Chittorgarh, Jaipur, Mumbai, Suryapur, Indraprastha, Gurugram, Chandigarh, Lavpur and Rajendragadh. These performance centres will be equipped with the latest technology and training equipment for the young talented players of these regions to develop further. The PFA Chairman, Diwakar Saxena, said during the press conference, "The future of football depends on these youngsters that have always dreamt of playing for Pratapgadh. It is our duty to provide them with the opportunity to grow. In the next few years, more performance centres will be built and we will expand to other states and regions." Now that's some real moves there from the PFA. They are already so much better than the previous organisation (Pratapgadh Football Federation).

That's all we have for you this week folks. Football is still quite young in the nation of Pratapgadh that has been around for 420 years by now. However, this is a sport that became a big part of Pratapgadh's culture in its early years, only to one day be on the brink of extinction. These developments are crucial for football to survive and grow in Pratapgadh. This is something the now-defunct Pratapgadh Football Federation failed to do that is now being fulfilled by the Pratapgadh Football Association. It is good to see that they are giving the youth the chance to grow to play the sport they love dearly. I will be back with another article for you guys. See you later!
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vs Darmen
STARTING XI
1. Chetan Dandekar ST
2. Shafe Ansari RW
3. Gautam Sakarkar LW (C)
4. Atashban Aaryamehr CM
5. Kaval Visariya DM
6. Ravi Upadhyay CM
7. Dev Kamble RB
8. Jagdip Rajawat CB (VC)
9. Suman Gupte CB
10. Abhisekh Patodia LB
11. Purshottama Mahanta GK

SUBSTITUTES
12. Manas Kumavat ST
13. Washid Noorani LW
14. Lohit Dholakia CM
15. Jaywant Kulkarni DM
16. Pratik Surana GK
17. Rahet Zardari RB
18. Dharamveer Wairar CB

vs Kohnhead
STARTING XI
1. Chetan Dandekar ST
2. Shafe Ansari RW
3. Gautam Sakarkar LW (C)
4. Atashban Aaryamehr CM
5. Kaval Visariya DM
6. Ravi Upadhyay CM
7. Dev Kamble RB
8. Jagdip Rajawat CB (VC)
9. Suman Gupte CB
10. Abhisekh Patodia LB
11. Purshottama Mahanta GK

SUBSTITUTES
12. Manas Kumavat ST
13. Washid Noorani LW
14. Lohit Dholakia CM
15. Jaywant Kulkarni DM
16. Pratik Surana GK
17. Rahet Zardari RB
18. Dharamveer Wairar CB

by **Nephara** » Mon May 17, 2021 2:56 am

Brookstation 5 - 3 Nephara
(4-4-2) 20 - Senninger; 17 - Soeringer, 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Bruhn, 22 - Lind (3 - Seselja 65'); 13 - Reed, 15 - Horvath, 8 - T Fletcher (14 - E Fletcher HT'), 18 - Kalevi; 9 - North (21 - Gjasula 56'), 16 - Marinkovic
Goals: Clevinger 17', Marinkovic 48', Gjasula 79'

Nephara 4 - 1 Central Shaneville
(4-4-2) 20 - Senninger; 17 - Soeringer, 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Bruhn, 22 - Lind; 13 - Reed (7 - Sauthier 66'), 15 - Horvath (4 - Miller 81'), 8 - T Fletcher, 18 - Kalevi; 9 - North (23 - Pawnbroker 74'), 16 - Marinkovic
Goals: T Fletcher 9', North 22', Lind 35', Reed 59'

THE HERALD
BOLD CALL TO RESTORE NERVES PAYS OFF
Luna Giesler

The Cormorants took a bruising defeat in Brookstation. As is necessary in a long qualifying cycle, Triffid Ramsey swapped things up, taking a strong but rotated side away to a nation that had acquitted itself well in the Baptism of Fire, and yet fans and players alike were stunned as a first-half blitz saw them downed by a Roles-inspired Brookstation.

Surprises abound, then, when Ramsey announced precisely the same eleven for Nephara's next game, against Central Shaneville.

In particular, Shosanna Bruhn and Thalassa Fletcher had been far from impressive on their international debuts against Brookstation. However, the latter opened the scoring just nine minutes into the game, fed through by her club teammate Horvath before drilling an impeccable strike past Penford. The two clubmates were excellent partners in crime throughout, dominating the midfield.

Bruhn, meanwhile, was imperious in defence and played a vital role playing out from the back. The Belgrave defender was something of a shock inclusion, but as a relatively rare young centre-half in the current crop, she made the most of her second chance, at one stage clearing a Staniar strike off the line.

Bastet North was next on the scoresheet with a deft little stab past Penford off Radeka Lind's cutback, before Lind herself made it 3-0. The young leftback is considered one of the brightest prospects in the game, as shown by the fact she's actually getting minutes in a green shirt; again, she was deeply mediocre against Brookstation and ultimately taken off, but made up for it here.

Severine Reed was a rare figure to inspire confidence in both legs, the winger continuing to be a revelation given the chance to shine able to genuinely push Anselm Koerner; her goal finished the match in style, curled into the top corner from outside the box. By the end, the Cormorants were playing with confidence and style in front of an initially sceptical Brinemouth crowd.

But why an unchanged side? "Of course it was performative," Triffid Ramsey conceded. "But we have a real issue of - bring out the fringe players, it doesn't work out in one game, they never get heard of again. Too many one-cap wonders. Well, I'm not gonna bury my players for one bad game-- one bad half, really, against a side that did well in the Baptism of Fire. So what if they're low-ranked? Togonistan are un-bloody-seeded, and they're murdering everyone."

Speaking more broadly about a qualification campaign that has been far from frictionless thus far, Ramsey remarked, "I think last time around proved that adversity in qualification can be good for a side. That said, obviously we want to get back on top of the group, and we're aiming to take a further step to that with six points next window."

Squidroidia loom as Nephara's next visit, which should prove far from forgiving, while the thus-far flawless Togonistan and second-seeds Hampton Island loom as the final window of the first half of qualifying. Ramsey is expected to take her strongest possible side, though some fringe options may have found their prospects enhanced or dented by the past window.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 4
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Raluca Garamond (Sabrefell Athletic), 20 - Fasolt Senninger (AFC Treason)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Vivica Muscadin (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Reniira Clevinger (Sabrefell Athletic), 6 - Miska Brabanzon (Sabrefell Moths), 17 - Pristina Soeringer (Stein-los Turkish, PAS), 19 - Besart Sale (AFC Treason), 22 - Radeka Lind (Vermillion Rage)
Midfielders: 4 - Rook Timekeeper (Sabrefell Moths), 7 - Anselm Koerner (1830 Cathair, AUD), 8 - Lothaire Cromwell (AC Izotz Zubia, AUD), 11 - Kendra Considine Ramsey (AFC Treason), 13 - Severine Reed (Raynor City United, VAL), 14 - Exene Fletcher (Hellinic Rouge, PAS), 15 - Rashica Horvath (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 18 - Chantal Kalevi (Stein-los Turkish, PAS)
Forwards: 9 - Bastet North (Jungle Strike, VIL), 10 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR), 16 - Danica Marinkovic (Royal Rumiatzi, ASG), 21 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD), 23 - Traudl Mrdja (Vermillion Rage)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 5 - 2 Sarzonia (97) @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Huayramarca (48) 1 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 0 Sonindia (322) @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Brookstation (247) 5 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 1 Central Shaneville (154) @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Squidroidia (76) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Quakmybush (109) @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Nephara vs. Togonistan (UR) @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Hampton Island (37) vs. Nephara
Sarzonia (97) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Huayramarca (48) @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Sonindia (322) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Brookstation (247) @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
Central Shaneville (154) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Squidroidia (76) @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Quakmybush (109) vs. Nephara
Togonistan (UR) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Hampton Island (37) @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

by **Indusse** » Mon May 17, 2021 4:57 am

IFA NEWS NETWORK
That's not what we want!

With the two draws indusse brought for its fans, against two lower ranked teams has been bringing up protests from the fans. The fans demands for better training sessions so that the team can atleast qualify for the world cup this time. Melind Jameson, the Flocking Blues President says "We have the confidence that we can do it. Moteudi is enough to get the victory. We don't have any other issues." With the increasing support for Moteudi, it seems like his dreams of expanding his career to some strong team will not happen anytime soon.

#9 Alexis Budtedjson (Mid Fielder)
Alexis Budtedjson, that's the name of the all in all of pass gameplay. Budtedjson has been a major part of the team in every international match played. He has been scoring goals, defending goals and making ways for goals. A complete footballer they say, he's having the chance to be the next captain of Indusse if he doesn't retire. Alexis was born as a neighbor to Baskar Kumar and has been his childhood friend. Both of them started to chase their dreams together and it was Alexis who got into professional football first. Alexis started his professional career with New Hind City FC B team. His perfect play, in the B team got him into Dhalopura FC. His best career club ever, Dhalopura FC got him into fame and later Gav him the ticket to National Team. He scored his first international goal in his debut match and he says that it's his favourite memory. He later got transferred into Sindvpore FC and has been playing for the team. During the colonial era in Indusse, he started working for the national police force (NPF) and he got promoted into the assistant commissioner of Hind City. His wife, Samantha Budtedjson is a well known tennis player of Indusse. She's currently playing in the NSTT for Indusse.

#14 Djetson Hazle
Born as Djetson Hazlett to Dr. Henry Hazlett and Maria Henry in Sindvpore, Djetson change his surname at the age of sixteen to Hazle for joining film industry since there was a prominent star "Philip Hazlett" existing. He couldn't do much in the film industry, which changed his route into football. He played for the national U-18 team due to his absolutely commendable performance for his club Sindvpore FC. His performance also brought him into the national team and got himself as.a key player. He still plays for Sindvpore FC and took part in the Championship of FFI. He is married to Katherine Hazlett, daughter of film star Philip Hazlett. Katherine is also a prominent film star in Indusse. Hazle also took part in futsal and also tried a hand in hockey. But he later realised that he was made for professional soccer.

by **Hampton Island** » Mon May 17, 2021 5:13 am

Conversation between Stafford City Stadium CEO and his assistant

CEO: The bears have been doing a lot better of late, Ned Haygood is off my case about them right now, and the people are eating up the apparel.

Assistant: I was just looking at the sales figures from the T-shirts in particular. Swagger seems to be the most popular bear. I mean, who wouldn’t want a jersey with the name Swagger on it?

CEO: Just wait until one of them scores a goal.

Assistant: Maybe soon, I thought Pinnacle had a great chance against Sonidiot.

CEO: Sonindia. Not that they are paying attention to anything that is going on right now.

Assistant: Yeah, next step on the bears is to get them to stop shooting the ball so hard, it keeps going over the goal, and that is costing us some chances. But most importantly, is the physical or intimidating presence that they have in the midfield.

CEO: That’s what it is all about with them. Physical intimidation. Look at Huayramarca, one of the better teams in this group, that kid wearing #17. He was scared shitless to come over the middle of the field. Son, what are you, 22, it was? Get used to it.

Assistant: Orlando Mina? Yeah, he didn’t seem to care much for it once Pinnacle knocked him over.

CEO: His plea for a red card was hysterical. I know you are only 22 but put on your big boy pants if you want to play at this level. What’s he ever going to do against a sentient fridge, or whatever The Holy Empire is using.

Assistant: What are those things?

CEO: Oh, who knows. Probably the one thing that could scare the bears are those, whatever they are. Anyway, not important as they are not in our group.

Assistant: Some animal rights group is starting to get on our case now. They didn’t mind Midnight but now they are crying over the way we are breeding him and creating this whole big operation.

CEO: Yeah, I saw that. Some hot shot wants to get his name in the paper, thinking he is doing some wonderful thing. Irrelevant. And I still have not heard from Hannah Sanders, though the twins (Brittany and Brianna Carter, former managers under Sanders) keep sending me incoherent emails.

Assistant: The fact that Sanders abandoned the team, giving you every right to take it back could not be any more apparent by the fact that we have already played five games and she still has not done anything about it.

CEO: I believe that one of the twins was trying to suggest, in her typical poor grammar, that Sanders is not going to do anything until we are done for this World Cup cycle, then she is going to sue us for all of the proceeds.

Assistant: How the hell would that ever stand up in a court of law?

CEO: It wouldn’t, obviously. Remember, it was written by one of the Carter twins. I don’t remember which one, not that it matters.

by **Graintfjall** » Mon May 17, 2021 5:39 am

Græntfjall – 3 (2)
B. Ernestisson; Matteosdóttir, Reynarsson, Bensson, Vilbertsdóttir; Jvarsson (38’) (64’ Jonathansdóttir (88’)), Ásvaldursson; Mensdóttir (52’) (85’ Harrysson ), Guttisdóttir, Heikkisdóttir; Þórhallursson (6’) (82’ Bergmundursson (90+3’))

Sharktail – 2 (1)
Haziq (20’), Azaim (50’)

Galeanna – 1 (0)
Waters (47’)

Græntfjall – 2 (0)
Einvarðursson; Matteosdóttir, Reynarsson (53’) (57’), Bensson, Vilbertsdóttir; Jvarsson, Ásvaldursson (53’ Bjørnsson ); Harrysson (77’ Grímólfursson (89’)), Guttisdóttir (90+1’), Heikkisdóttir; Þórhallursson (69’ Bergmundursson )

Galeanna players taken from BoF roster.

Ásvarður Bergmundursson and Tinni Grímólfursson were the unlikely heroes of Græntfjall’s first six-point qualifying week in two years, but both needed late interventions. The Snow Wolves’ defense continues to struggle, having conceded in five consecutive games, a World Cup qualifier record for Græntfjall. It meant that despite having led twice against Sharktail, they entered added time at the Grander International Arena with scores level, and that they didn’t have the lead away to Galeanna until the final minute of regulation. Kang will be boosted by the return of Elektra Lúthersdóttir and Tom Ernestisson from injury, but also looks set to add Jade Miansdóttir to the squad as an extra defensive midfielder to fortify the ailing back line further.

The first game of the campaign at the Grander International Arena was a lively affair, hosting Sharktail. The Snow Wolf Pack cheered as Jason Þórhallursson broke his recent string of ducks to turn in a Lana Mensdóttir cross, but their joy lasted less than 15 minutes, as Sharktail captain Gaby put together a nice solo run to set up Haziq Badrol. The Snow Wolves’ own captain, Hrærekur Jvarsson, struck back with a header from a cross from the other wing, supplied by Hanne Heikkisdóttir, and Græntfjall took a 2–1 lead into the half. But they emerged underwhelming, and once again conceded to let the visitors pull level, Cazadores Cathair midfielder Azaim pouncing on a poor pass out from Björnólfur Ernestisson. The teams traded chances thereafter with neither looking truly assertive until, three minutes deep into injury time, supersub Bergmundursson ran onto an Emeli Vilbertsdóttir cross. His finish was awkward, but successful, and whichever body part he managed to scramble it in off, it proved the winner.

It was a similar tale on the road to Galeanna. A limpid first half showing, not helped by there being no visiting fans in attendance as Græntfjall failed to secure visa arrangements with the hosts, led to a poor first half of football. And unfortunately it was Connor Waters who livened up the second, scoring with a bolt from the blue barely two minutes into it. Kalle Bjørnsson made a key intervention, registering just his second ever official assist in NT colors, faking a shot to sit down Finley Hodgson and then passing to Hjörleifur Reynarsson for an easy finish. But the Snow Wolves continued to look bereft of inspiration until, 3 minutes from time, Samuel Scholes brought down Bergmundursson and Grímólfursson unleashed a rip-snorter of a long range free-kick. It was a stunning first goal for the young midfielder and came at a valuable moment.

A tough brace of matches will meet the Snow Wolves at the next international break, hosting Murphtannia – currently riding high in Group 5 – and then traveling to Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom, whom despite numerous footballing links they have surprisingly never met in full international play. There’s a surprise recall for Sara Kristoffersdóttir to cover for the injured Hanne Heikkisdóttir while Álfar Ásvaldursson, the standout player through five games, also sits following a minor knee injury against Galeanna. A fortified defense will look for a resurgent performance but questions linger over the choice of center back, with Vigfús Bensson giving way to Tom Ernestisson.

23 player squad for MD4–5 (expected starters in bold): B. Ernestisson, Einvarðursson, Hárlaugsdóttir; Lúthersdóttir, Reynarsson, T. Ernestisson, Vilbertsdóttir, Matteosdóttir, Björnsdóttir, R. Rögnvaldursson, Kristersson; Miansdóttir, Jvarsson (c), Guttisdóttir, Tronsson, Hólmarsdóttir, Grímólfursson; Kristoffersdóttir, Harrysson; Þórhallursson, Dannysdóttir, Bergmundursson, L. Rögnvaldursson

The bus driving around Háttmark has received criticism over the veracity of its claims. Græntfjall does not spend anything like 350 million krónor on trade promotion with CRC members. That said, the bus has received praise from all sides of the political divide for its incredibly stylish graphics.

If you thought the bus was good, just wait until you sink your eyeballs into this motherfucking work of art.

Still from the chilling Left-slate attack ad “Daisy”. Accusing the Blue-Green government of caring more about building 40 new missile silos than safeguarding old missiles, it depicts rogue nuclear warhead detonations leading to the rise of a barbaric kraken from the seas. The ad, which air at half-time during the match against Sharktail, received more than 1,000 complaints, mostly parents of terrified little girls. But it also led to a polling bump for the Left-slate and 5% drop for the Blue-Greens. So perhaps it's worth the price of a few nightmares?

PHORCED-ACRONIM #006

The media play a big role in elections. Let’s do a deep dive interview with…

0: David Austmannsson
1: Zóphonías Juliusson
2: Sigjón Þjóðbjörnsson
3: Aríaðna Fjölvarsdóttir
4: Kaija Michaelsdóttir
5+: Queen Júlíana

…where they offer up a big revelation…

0: they’re getting married
1: they’re getting divorced
2: they’re having a child
3: they’re seriously ill
4: they now identify as a different religion
5+: they now identify as a different gender

PHORCED-ACRONIM #007

Let’s also do an undercover investigation of…

0: Blue-Greens
1: Liberal-Conservatives
2: NDF
3: Left-slate
4: Progressive Liberals
5+: the Royal Family

…revealing troubling accusations of…

0: racism
1: sexism
2: corruption
3: electoral fraud
4: terrorism
5+: excessive flatulence

by **Sarzonia** » Mon May 17, 2021 6:24 am

Two draws aren't enough to get the boo birds off Sarzonian national team manager Nicola Mentes's back, but they are at least something to show for the new system and the work the team is doing to improve.

Sarzonia earned their first point in the Group 12 table with a 2-2 away draw against Quakmybush in a match that was more of a curiosity than anything.

After all, Quakmybush were a longstanding part of the sporting multiverse, then disappeared for a long period by any measurement of time. Now they're back and they're in the same World Cup qualifying group as the Stars.

The Stars returned to Dave Wilson Stadium to face Huayramarca, a team the Stars are familiar with after competing against them during World Cup 85. Many of the players may have been the same for Sarzonia, but the manager and the system employed by the manager are very different. Instead of the "total football on steroids" approach favoured by many a Sarzonian manager and the dour, defensive-minded Kevin Connelly calling the shots, Mentes brought his more attack-minded philosophy to the team. The result was a 3-3 draw against Huayramarca that helped the Stars inch out of a level position with The United States of Sonindia for last in the table.

Speaking of Sonindia, the Stars will play away to the last placed side and then return home for a match against seventh placed Brookstation.

Still, the fact that Sarzonia lost points to the likes of unranked Togonistan rankled many of the callers into talk radio, many of whom continued to demand Mentes be fired. For his part, Mentes took the calls for his termination in stride.

"They're par for the course for a national team manager," he said. "If you don't get results you expect, the manager gets the blame. If the team do well, the manager gets the credit, often when it's not deserved."

Are you saying then you deserve the blame for the 0-2-3 start?

"Whether I deserve the blame or not isn't important. The fact is I'm the national team manager, so I accept the blame if things don't go well. I'm responsible for what happens on the pitch and off. That goes with the territory."

by **Bollonich** » Mon May 17, 2021 6:28 am

The New Fermont Post

National Court reaches decision
The riots in Fermont, with regard to the Socialist/Marxist win have continued for over 2 months now. This was further fuelled on by the reports of electoral fraud which have since then been confirmed by the nation’s judiciary and highest court, the National Court. The Court have duly asked for the re contention of elections. The court has also decided to charge 4 party leaders with electoral fraud, banning them from ever contesting in any elections and also having to serve a jail time of 15 years.
However what will be most interesting to see is that whether the riots will actually reduce or stop after these announcements, as the Liberal Party seems to have had a role in egging people on. This conviction will serve as a huge boost for the Liberal Party as the public liking for Socialist/Marxists are to significantly go down. This will greatly aide in the 2022 presidential campaign of The Liberals, giving them an extra advantage added to their public liking.
In other news pertaining to the 2022 elections, Stewart Colon, senator of Fredonia has announced that he shall be running for President in 2022.

Sylestonean tricks : Brilliance or Cheating
Last week was the much awaited clash between Bollonich and Sylestone, two teams that had already faced off in a two legged friendly matches. The Sylestoneans pulled out vastly different tricks out of their bags this time, the legality of which are being questioned by lots of Bollonischian media. The main trick is the use of the Fridge handle to score the goal, this specific trick isn’t explicitly illegal as use of all body parts for sentients. This is where I raise my concern and sincerely ask the Executive World Cup Committee that if handball applies for humans why not for sentients, they should be treated the same shan’t they. This new legislature needs to be immediately implemented to make our beautiful game fairer and better for all.

by **Eshialand** » Mon May 17, 2021 7:10 am

The Real Massacre on Highchurch Street
Eshialand 1 - 5 Sendhang

You figured that this match wouldn't be a challenge. That your team would have an easy time of it. That was your justification for putting three players who hadn't yet taken the pitch for Eshialand (Kyle Rikers, James Calace, and Cameron Crowley) in the Starting XI. What could possibly go wrong against Sendhang?

What in the name of Margaret went wrong?

As the match was getting ready to start that fateful Sunday afternoon, you could feel a certain something in the air about that match. Some kind of stink. You didn't know what it meant, but you knew one single thing. Something was simply off.

The whistle blew, the match began, and you got ready to watch the Owls destroy the Sendhangite team. After all, that was basically a given. It was going to happen. There was no way on the face of the planet that it wasn't going to happen, not with Eshialand's stellar play lately.

Until, that was, the 17th minute. James Calace stumbled with the ball, evidently choking under the stress of finally actually having to perform, with the ball going directly to Teuku Hassan Al Qari. He passed the ball to Temiar Kintak, who passed it right to Gusti Sing Nggawe, who easily beat Alex Kolek with a shot to the top left corner of the goal. 0-1.

Ok, that was fine, it was just one goal from Gusti. It was going to be fine. Everything was fine... it wasn't going to be fine.

In the 35th minute, Sendhang continued the scoring. Kyle Rikers took the ball from Gusti, stopping him from scoring again, but his pass to Melissa Carey was intercepted by Nanang Wirajuda, who passed it to Keylar Samoi, who then practically tapped it past Kolek. 0-2.

You were nervous by this point, but it didn't matter. It was only two goals, you could take it. Your team, apart from those two, was doing completely fine. Sarah Silver was playing a great defense, George Habisbrauer was drifting to midfield and getting some good passes, and Jacob Harran, when he did get the ball, was getting some really good shots in... at least, they would be good shots if they weren't stopped by Albertus Wageo every single time.

In half-time, you decided to ask your team what exactly was going on... and they had nothing. No clue. They didn't know how in the world this was going on. But despite the fact that this was all completely inexplicable, it continued. The goals kept coming.

The next big goof came in the 59th minute. This time, it was Crowley drawing a yellow card, accidentally bumping Putra Lumipada when he got in his way... at least, he insists it was an accident. You're not too sure whether to believe him or not, but that doesn't really matter. All that matters is that Gusti blasted the penalty kick right into the side of the goal, with no hope for Kolek to save it. 0-3.

That was it. You'd had enough. It was time to purge the newbies, and replace Kolek to boot. You couldn't keep letting this happen. You learned your lesson: change is bad. Very, very bad. Kolek was replaced by Christian Meers, Rikers by David Gorman, Calace by Lysander Moore, and Crowley by Steven Lachey. Never, ever again.

Then, it happened again.

It was the 74th minute, and guess what? Gusti scored again. This time, there was no legitimately explaining it, apart from Eshialand just not being up to snuff. The score was 0-4, and things didn't seem like they were going to get any better.

Finally, in the 83rd minute, something got a bit better. Dominique LaPlante did what she did best, stealing the ball from Kintak. She passed it to Carey, then to Harran... then, finally, he scored. It wasn't a clean sheet anymore. A ball finally beat Wageo.

The team had gotten used to finding wins in every single match, but they seriously never thought that the win in this match against Sendhang, one of only two teams ranked below them, was going to be not getting shut out. And when you thought it wasn't gonna get worse, it absolutely did.

In the 1st minute of stoppage time, Avery MacDougall got distracted. You didn't know what distracted her at the time, but later, you'd find out that it was a disgruntled Eshian fan flipping her off. Of course, it didn't matter, because the ball got to Wirajuda, who scored it from a good distance, with Meers unable to do anything to stop it. The final score would be 1-5. One goal to five.

You kept repeating that in your head, hoping that you'd feel a bit better about it, that being exposed to that score would make it more real to you, and make it hurt less. No matter how much you tried though, it still hurt.

Everybody had thought that this was the kind of scoreline that would occur in Eshialand's match against Vilita on Matchday 3. In the end, that match was only 0-2, but the nickname everybody was going to give that match was going to stick. This was the real "Massacre on Highchurch Street".

Looking back on the match just makes it seem like a bigger and bigger disaster every time, but it was time to shake that off. The Owls were travelling to Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, and they'd... no, you'd... have to stay in good spirits.

"Hello and welcome back to Tournament Report..."

Alana's on the verge of tears. That result against Sendhang really seems to have taken its toll on her... I'd imagine it's taking its toll on quite a few people.

"...I'm your host... let's just get to the scores..."

Hebitaka 1 - 0 Lisander
"Oh look, it looks like Hebitaka's turned their luck around... yay... now could our luck please turn around?"

Squornshelan Remnant States 3 - 3 Savojarna
"Those Confederates always seem to be able to make a draw, don't they? If only we could figure out how to draw like they can..."

The 14 Stars 0 - 0 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles
"Are the Storm Wolves still goalless after 5 matches? I... I..."

Eshialand 1 - 5 Sendhang
Alana chugs an entire bottle of vodka before speaking some rambling gibberish. You may want to mute the TV before you lose 20 IQ points. "How in the name... of all that is real... did you LOSE 5-1?? You're absolute disgrarces, and I never want to see you in Eshhh...lin again! You can go to... to... Poovia and the Sexy Islands... but never ever come back! I hate you, I HATE YOU ALL!!!" She smashes the vodka bottle on the desk, and promptly collapses.

"Alana? Alana?!"

The feed cuts out for two or so minutes.

"Hello, and welcome back to ENN Tournament Report, I'm your host Josh Seametzle. I'm sorry for my former colleague's behavior, she just can't handle things not going her way. She has been fired from ENN, and I'll be hosting this show from now on. Let's get on with the show, shall we?"

Vilita 2 - 2 Devonta
"Vilita draws another critical match, but they still sit in the group's second spot, with qualification almost certain. The big winner here is Devonta, who are now only 2 points away from Vilita."

"Now, we'll look at a couple of interesting matches from across the tournament."

Geektopia 4 - 3 Atheara
"And with this, Atheara, whose record still sits at a depressing 0-0-5, has fired Kristian Johansson from his position as Head Coach. Eshialand has offered him protection from any disgruntled Athearans who may take their frustration out on him. Hopefully, new Head Coach Lyzen Oddenorf can turn things around for the Blue Guard, but a 0-0-5 start is almost never a good thing."

Togonistan 3 - 2 Brookstation
"And the new Unofficial World Champions are Togonistan, who by most metrics are far more deserving of the title than Brookstation. They've in fact gone 5-0-0 in the tournament so far, so it looks like they'll qualify for the World Cup."

"As for predictions for Eshialand's next two matches... I don't like making predictions. They almost always lead to getting disappointed, so I tend to avoid getting excited about these things before they happen. I don't want to turn out like Alana."

"Until next time, this has been ENN Tournament Report, and I've been Josh Seametzle."

OOC: Here's my expected Starting XI for the next two matches.

by **Valanora** » Mon May 17, 2021 8:42 am

Lathwen Raynor read the declaration from the northeast of the region grimly, it was the sort of shortsighted foolishness that would undo hundreds of years of friendships and cooperation, it was the foolishness of mortals to proud to see beyond their own personal greed. Tempers were flared around the capital as the only official ally that the Eternal Empire had was among those who had decided they no longer desired friendship or bonds with the rest of the region and the Empress was being urged for a swift and harsh response to the declaration. While a few cautioned patience and leniency, urging that whole nations should not suffer for the greed and vileness of those who sat in power of these so called breakaway nations, Lathwen would not help but feel the same way as those who were enraged by the entire sordid ordeal. If years of friendship and a shared history meant nothing to these people, then they would be treated in the same matter that they had deemed to treat those that they were leaving behind; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

The Empress made ready all the official paperwork and legislation that was going to follow in the wake of the stunning change of events, with various aides, councilors, and legislators working tireless to fulfill the Empress' desired commands in response to the issue. It had been quite some time since the Raynor family mansion had been such a flutter of activity, having had largely gone unused after the departure of Tobias and his family in those weird events of around two decades before, with only a maintenance crew ensuring that the building did not fall into disrepair. Lathwen had rightly be given the mansion after proving her lineage, as the building was hers by rights, with her father having agreed years ago to giving up his right to by the throne as well as the mansion itself. Lathwen wondered what Tobias or his father before him might have felt or done if they had been the ones in power when all this awfulness and bitterness was revealed in such a manner, if they would have felt the same seething rage of being blindsided by nations and leaders that were supposed to be friends of the Empire. Alas, they were gone and she was left to feel what she felt, as were those who were beside her trying to pick up the pieces and deal with this mess.

Within a night, all citizens of those who originated from one of the Foxchester Accords nations were given notice that they had a month to arrange to leave the country or be deported, while Vanorian citizens in those nations were given funds to facilitate their immediate withdrawal from the lands, as contracts were made null and void with the free trade and worker agreement being broken by the declaration. All formal ties with the nations were set to be broken, as the alliance with Starblaydia was dissolved with the lack of trust of the Starblaydi to fulfill their half of the arrangement, while trade agreements would only last through the end of the month before being dissolved as well. Citizens and dignitaries of the Foxchester Seventeen were going to be barred from entry from the Eternal Empire, with the only exception being that of national teams and clubs who had to travel to the Empire for any respective sporting competition, although no foreign fans of those nations would be granted entry. It was going to be harsh but blood had to be repaid with blood.

Lathwen herself prepared for a trip to Siovanija and Teusland, as she as well as the remaining loyal heads of state to the region had been invited to Stelburg to discuss the situation and how to move forward. She had never ventured to the United Republics, though in her three years as Empress thus far many had suggested she pay a visit to the nation that was nearest to the most eastern part of the Empire, laying between the two continents that the Empire occupied. That such a visit was going to come under dire circumstances and not that of a pleasurable diplomatic or even personal visit seemed quite a shame, given that the two nations had seemingly been growing closer via the mode of sport. She thought back to an old saying that the strongest of bonds were made during the most trying of times and it was most definitely clear that she and the rest of the remaining rulers in Atlantian Oceania were indeed in quite trying times, she only hoped that they bonds that they would hopefully forge would be the foundation for another millennia of cooperation and friendship.

by **Barunia** » Mon May 17, 2021 8:50 am

JK: Hello, I’m John Kelly and welcome to the Sports Report. With me we have a Barunaina World Cup winner, it’s rugby player Findlay Martin. Welcome Findlay.

FM: Hi John.

JK: So there’s been some big news in the world of rugby. What’s going on?

FM: The World Cup is back, World Cup 30.

JK: And of course Barunia will be in it?

FM: Yes, we’re in. There’s 25 or so nations so far, and it’s still open, so it could be a decent turnout.

JK: Ok. Now, I understand that this tournament doesn’t happen very often. Can you tell us a bit more about that?

FM: It’s because the World Cup alternates between the different forms of rugby. So here in Barunia we only care about one type: Union. It’s actually the Rugby Union World Cup 30. The last Rugby World Cup was a league one, which we weren’t in. We never have been.

JK:I thought the last World Cup was a Sevens tournament? Because that was going to be my next question, was to ask you about that.

FM: The Sevens tournament kind of happens around the other forms of Rugby. But yeah, there was a Sevens World Cup just recently.

JK: And I understand Barunia did quite badly. Is that a concern moving into the main World Cup?

FM: Not at all. It was a developmental team, so young players from the program.

JK: What program is that?

FM: Oh, Barunia Rugby run a program for young players going into the clubs so they develop their skills. But BR are looking to actually create a proper Sevens team, and I think they want mostly women, or all women, giving that only men compete in the World Cup.

JK: So, do you think the Barunia Waves will be adding an extra star to their crest?

FM: Always hopeful John. We have slipped down the ranking though, so we’re not write the team we were, but still always hoping to lift that trophy.

JK: Alright well, from one World Cup to another, and the Barunia Suns’ quest to make it to the Football World Cup has hit a snag, with the team suffering two losses in the qualifiers. Sam Hobson has more. Sam, are you there?

SH: Yes John, a bad week for the Suns, losing to Ko-oren on the road and then ZSeparatists at home. The loss to Ko-oren was not unexpected, they’re the top seeds, and with home field advantage. But the really big problem for the Suns there was the scoreline. They lost 4-nil, and if you remember when they played Txakhaxi, they beat them by 4 goals. So the goal differential was really good going into this game, and it’s essentially undone those four goals.

JK: But they did take a five goal advantage from the game against Delaclava.

SH: Oh, that’s right, but they had a nine goal advantage, and now it’s been dragged back to 4. In terms of our group, that’s right in the middle. Also the Suns themselves are in the middle of the pack, as they’ve dropped to 5th place.

JK: Ok, so perhaps we can bring up the table? Here we are.

Group 8                                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ko-oren                                     5    5   0   0    15    5  +10    15
 2 HUElavia                                    5    4   0   1    15    7   +8    12
 3 Vdara                                       5    4   0   1    14    7   +7    12
 4 Frestovenia                                 5    3   0   2    10    7   +3     9
 5 Barunia                                     5    2   1   2    12    8   +4     7
 6 Aut-Ves-Nat                                 5    2   0   3     8    6   +2     6
 7 Txakhaxi                                    5    1   1   3     5   10   −5     4
   ZSeparatists                                5    1   1   3    11   16   −5     4
 9 Delaclava                                   5    1   0   4     5   17  −12     3
10 Communist Republic of North Yorkshire       5    0   1   4     4   16  −12     1

JK: Can you talk us through this, Sam?

SH: Right, well as you can see, the Suns have 7 points. Now if they pick up 6 points in the next two games, so two wins, then they’ll have 13 points. That will put them just in 2nd, but only of course if both HUElavia and Vdara lose. Remember, the top 2 qualify, so at the moment Barunia are behind the pace. This is where the loss to ZSeparatists really stings. They’re ranked lower than us, so unlike the Ko-oren game, we had a really good chance. But if we had one, we’d have 10 points and be just out of touch with the leaders. At the moment we’re a little far behind.

JK: Okay, thanks Sam. We’ll come back to you in a little bit to get your analysis of the Suns’ games, but right now we’re headed for a break.

by **Barunia** » Mon May 17, 2021 10:02 am

- posted with wrong nation -

by **St Trinians** » Mon May 17, 2021 10:04 am

Amy Pepperpot could hardly believe it. St Trinians were winning matches that on paper they had no right to win, and the people were getting behind them. Freeport had been the latest victim, with Elisabeth Speight the destroyer, while Becket celebrated her return from injury with a clean sheet. Now the people of St Trinians were beginning to take pride in their team. For the clash against Ethane, one of the biggest names in world sports, the stadium was packed. National Stadium had an official capacity of 25,000, but there seemed to be significantly more people than that. There were even more outside, and they kept firing fireworks up over the stadium. Inside, fans had been banned from bringing in explosives after the ugly scenes against the Busogan Islands, but that had just made them louder. The atmosphere inside the stadium was deafening as the players ran out onto the pitch. Then all at once it swelled and rose into a chant:

“We are the best, so screw the rest,
We’ll do whatever we damn well please.
Until the end, St Trinians,
Defenders of anarchy.”

Out on the pitch, Temperance Porter called her team into a huddle.
“Hear that ladies? They’re singing for us. Let’s fucking do this.”
Her co-captain threw in a final thought. “Kill ‘em girls!”

Whether that was an order or not, the team certainly took it to heart. Nonie Swindlehurst, playing her typical brand of football, spilt the first blood of the game when her fist connected with Jeremiah Ruiz’s jaw. Both he and Nonie left the field, the former for assessment of the facial injury, and the latter on a red card. To make matters worse, the foul occurred in the box, and Scott Burgess slammed the first goal of the match past Becket.

The crowd got rowdy, but couldn’t get to the pitch because of the high chainlink fence that had been constructed around the field. Instead, they resorted to throwing things at the fence and hurling abuse at the referee, the Ethane players, and the small cohort of opposition fans who had braved the journey to support Ethane. They sat in a tight bundle, surrounded by members of the Royal Army of St Trinians, each heavily armed. The occasional plastic cup of beer was thrown, but for the most part the crowd respected the guns enough not to get involved. So instead, they simply stuck to verbal abuse. The average St Trinian can swear like a sailor, and Ethane’s fans were treated to language that would make a trucker blush.

Then one of Granger’s rockets stayed low enough to bury itself in the net, and the crowd were off again. The chant started up again, and reached fever pitch when Temperance Porter volleyed a corner kick past Donovan Velázquez.

Ethane launched a counter attack, and Burgess picked up his second, combining with Lozano to easily run around Carmicheal, the lone defender with Swindlehurst off the field. It became even harder to plug the holes in defence when Frankie Tipton joined Nonie on the bench of shame, having hacked down Tyler Ellis-Wood.
Lozano scored to put Ethane back in front. Amy subbed Miracle Butler for Georgie Haight to try and plug the holes in the defence. Georgie was another player whose main aim seemed to be to see the opposing players stretchered off, so Amy had given her strict instructions to play “nice”. They couldn’t afford another red card.
In actual fact, when the referee reached for his pocket again, it wasn’t a St Trinians player marching to the bench. Instead it was Alexander Kjaer, sent off for clashing heavily with Appleton. The blue-haired forward had come crashing down to earth clutching her leg, and had to be helped off by the medical staff. Elisabeth Speight then stood up to the penalty spot and gave St Trinians the equaliser.

It was the last goal of the match, and while it wasn’t a win, to Amy it was almost as good as. The world number 34, held to a draw by a team 198 ranks below them. The next test for St Trinians would be Pasarga, one of the true greats of the game and the world number 11. At the start of the tournament, Amy wouldn’t have dared to entertain the thought of defeating them. Now? Now she dared to dream.

by **TJUN-ia** » Mon May 17, 2021 10:12 am

After some high-scoring affairs saw us go 3-from-3 in WC88 Qualifying, the main mood around the Jaguars of TJUN-ia so far could be summed up in 4 words: Attack Good, Defence Inconsistent. It has certainly been an entertaining start to the campaign so far for the neutral TJUN-ian supporters, but many of the faithful were certainly hoping for more defensive stability to come from the Co-Managers over the next few matchdays. Considering the opposition coming up on the horizon, every point counted towards the goal of our first-ever World Cup and everyone was counting on David Seems and Li Xiu Ying to push us forward on that quest.

Up first was the surprise package of 3rd placed Srednjaci in Szensky as the infamous Krasnaya Stena prepared for what they called the "warm-up match" for their main event in a few weeks time. KS was certainly showing a bit of elitism towards Hrvoje Vezmar and his team from a nation well known, and that would turn out to be the gravest mistake Beregozera could ever make. Srednjaci would use this attitude against the fans of the CSTO and make a game of it on the lakeside. They would get the first goal in the 23rd, a sublime strike by Isidor Matković curling over Harold Gylfisson to break the deadlock. The 2nd would arrive in the 37th, this time Li Peng converting from a Danijela Majić corner to give the surprise package an unexpected 2-goal cushion. TJUN-ia would try and mount a comeback, of course, beginning through hometown-hero Vladimir Podolov in the 56th, but Srednjaci were more determined than ever to get their 3rd win and Ante Tomljanović would make sure of it with a tap-in in the 78th. Podolov would get his 2nd in the 89th to bring some hope to the home crowd, but the game was only going to Srednjaci - they fully deserved this one indeed.

Despite our obvious loss, Banija drew with Astrograth which meant that we didn't really lose that much ground at all. The next game was at the Murbley Coliseum against the well-travelled nation of Bongo Johnson, who has certainly been in this business for a very long time and are a well-experienced unit for us to go against. With that loss in Szensky in mind, TJUN-ia's defence finally woke up in the Incorporated States and would produce their best performance of the campaign so far, holding off Jean-Claude Benoit's team for the entire game. This shutout helped TJUN-ia just focus on getting the three points, which they did through Joe Green in the 49th as they finally broke the blockade Bongo Johnson had installed here today. That was all she wrote for this one as TJUN-ia sailed into...the group lead?!

Yes, TJUN-ia now leads Group 13 after Srednjaci's 1-0 to the EOT and another Banijan draw, this time against a then-winless Oberour Ar Moro. That means that when the Kadongo Kamu arrive in Szensky, it will be a battle of the top two in the group: the consistent Jags vs the undefeated Banija. No matter what happens in what KS is calling the "Great Game", an away trip to bottom-side Ibixa follows. The following game may just be the most important to ever be played in the CSTO and in TJUN-ia as a whole. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group 13)
MD1: vs Malandrin (UR) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 6-4 (T-3rd)
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (86) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 2-1 (3rd)
MD3: @Shreekaristan (354) W 5-3 (2nd)
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD4: vs Srednjaci (253) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 2-3 (3rd)
MD5: @Bongo Johnson (139) - Murbley Coliseum, Bongo Johnson? W 1-0 (1st)
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD6: vs Banija (6) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD7: @Ibixa (173)
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD8: vs Astograth (24) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD9: @Oberour Ar Moro (82) - Parade Grounds, Regium
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD10: @Malandrin (UR)
MD11: @Euran Oceania Territories (86) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD12: vs Shreekaristan (354) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD13: @Srednjaci (253) - Blue Oyster National Stadium, Katanija
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD14: vs Bongo Johnson (139) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD15: @Banija (6) - Mavuto Field, Hoima
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD16: vs Ibixa (173) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD17: @Astograth (24)
----------------------BOOT IT!----------------------
MD18: vs Oberour Ar Moro (82) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City

by **Hispinas** » Mon May 17, 2021 10:25 am

Part 1

Oppa International Airport
Cheolguri, Annyeong Oppa

After one and a half day in the skies, the squad finally landed on Annyeong Oppa, an island in the outset of Sonnel, a bit far from other nations. A nation with roughly the same size as of Tanjung Pagi Island in Filindostan, the nation they say is the mecca of A-pop¹. Upon their arrival in downtown Cheolguri, around thirty kilometers from the airport, they see lots of posters and ads featuring the most famous A-pop stars in the country. Among them is the national MC of Annyeong Oppa, Woo Dae Hyuk², well known around the country with hosting multiple variety shows, ranging from quiz shows among idols, to outdoor variety shows.

The team members were resting while in their team bus until it arrived in a parking lot with several banners reading "CBS", which meant Cheolguri Broadcasting System, one of the three major television networks in the nation. Once parked, the automatic door suddenly opened and a middle-aged personality with a slender figure and oval eyeglasses came into the bus. The guy resembled one from the posters they saw while being on the road - was it the nation's MC?

It was indeed Wu Woo Dae Hyuk, in the flesh, greeting them in Annyeongian language, with a girl beside him interpreting what he is saying. "Join me down to the building and we will start the training camp for you guys." He tried to say in English but he gave up midway and continued speaking in his native language. Another set of guys came into the bus, one very tall, giraffe like stature, and one muscular guy. They were Kim Hwang Joo and Lee Yong Sook³, popular characters of the flagship variety show of CBS, Rushing Buddies ⁴. "We have your suits here, come down and change." Yong Sook, who knows a bit of English, told the team.

Still at a loss on what would happen, Cordovan asked Dae Hyuk through the interpreter on what will they be doing for the day. "Ah, you will be guests of Rushing Buddies. You know we do not have a national team yet and through one of your good friends, we will be having a good time." "Rushing what?" Cordovan obviously was not aware of any Annyeongian shows as they were never broadcasted in Hispinas. "It's the most famous show here in Annyeong Oppa. It is an outdoor variety show and they have run some episodes with soccer, or football being the core of their episode."

"But today, you must prepare, you will do some name tag ripping for an hour or two."

"What? Name tag ripping?"

"You remembered what Yong Sook and Hwang Joo held in their hands? That's a suit with a name tag velcroed at the back. You will need rip all the opposing nametags for your team to win. Of course there will be also football, but they wanted you to have a memorable camp here."

Cordovan and the rest of the national team were in a different kind of training camp here in Annyeong Oppa.

¹ A-pop: Annyeong Oppa's equivalent of K-pop.
² Based on Yoo Jae Suk, South Korea's "National MC"
³ Based from Lee Kwang Soo and Kim Jong Kook
⁴ Obvious rip-off from Running Man, South Korea's most known outdoor variety show.

by **Adab** » Mon May 17, 2021 10:48 am

THE ADAB TIMES
The Most Trusted Voice in the Nation, Est. 1878

Sunni, Shia, and Ahmadi Leaders Condemn ‘Superstitious’ Chicken Sacrifice

Yakub Labashum
May 12, 2033 / 13 Safar 1455

ADAB CITY – In a remarkable show of unity, leaders of Adab’s Sunni, Shia, and Ahmadi Islam communities today issued a joint statement condemning news that rubber chickens are being sacrificed to guarantee good results for the country’s national football team and calling upon the followers of Islam in the country to cease this practice forthwith.

Authoring the statement, Grand Mufti Muhammad Jafar al-Basrah, the Grand Mufti of Adab; Grand Ayatollah Baqir an-Najafi, Adab’s most prominent Shia marja’ (religious authority) and head of the country’s largest Shia hawza (seminary) in Adab City; and Malik Abdul Wahab, Amir (head) of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community Adab, condemned reports that Adabian Muslims are engaging in the “false and superstitious ritual” of rubber chicken sacrifice, which has no basis in Islamic religious teachings and law.

The statement came on the heels of reports that rubber chickens are being sacrificed across the country in the hope that it will produce positive results for the national football team during the qualifiers for World Cup 88.

This ritual is the product of a widely-held – in Adab as well as abroad – popular belief that the sacrifice of rubber chickens may lead to victory in sporting competitions such as the World Cup.

Some practitioners dedicate the sacrificed rubber chicken to a figure named Margaret, who has been variously described as a deity, demigod, or some sort of natural force with the power to decide results in sporting competitions.

This apparent worship of Margaret and beseeching for her favor was obviously of the utmost concern to these clerics, who warned that such practice is a form of shirk or deifying or accepting the divinity of any figure other than Allah.

The full statement reads as follows:

As-salamu alaykum

To the ummah of Adab, greetings!

It has come to our attention that, especially during this time of the football World Cup 88 qualifiers, many who profess to be true believers are participating in a false and superstitious ritual, in which sacrifices of rubber chickens are performed, and that such sacrifices are often dedicated to a personage known as Margaret, who is believed to have the power over results in sporting competitions and grant victory to whomever has her favor.

We feel compelled to remind all true believers that this particular ritual and this belief in the divine power of Margaret have no foundations whatsoever in the word of Allah, the words and actions of His Messenger, nor the decisions and consensus of true Islamic jurists.

The worship of Margaret and of any figure other than Allah, and all associated rituals, are shirk, for it has been said in the Holy Qur’an:

Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills. And he who associates others with Allah has certainly fabricated a tremendous sin.
-Qur’an 4:116

We urge all true believers who have participated in such practices to immediately desist from doing so, and to repent and seek forgiveness from Allah, for He is the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Grand Mufti Muhammad Jafar al-Basrah, Grand Mufti of Adab
Grand Ayatollah Baqir an-Najafi, Marja’ and Head of the Adab City Hawza
Amir Malik Abdul Wahab, Amir and Missionary-in-Charge of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community Adab

by **Starblaydia** » Mon May 17, 2021 11:13 am

"Well, at least it was a good day to bury bad news," Aaron Cole frowned as he tossed the newspaper down on the Manager's desk in Oberyn Park, Starblaydia's elite national training centre. He flicked his wrist to add some spin to it, and though it looked impressively-dismissive, Ázëwyn Fëanáro still had to tilt her head like a quizzical puppy to read the headline properly, "this whole political thing knocked our loss out of the news."

Sporting metaphor and Starblaydi journalism often went hand in hand on the pages of the Jhanna Chronicle. It was rare that Sports reporting got political metaphors, however. The events had shaken the sporting world, broken the internet and seemingly managed to excite, bore and enrage both onlookers, participants and those left behind in equal measure. It was a move reacted to as more monumental than the literal and historical Atlantian Oceania Civil War, otherwise known as Operation Galactica, or alternatively "the one and only time the Starblaydi government ever openly acknowledge being defeated in any capacity whatsoever". It was more controversial than when nuclear weapons were dropped on Tachbe, than when Viannor sent orbital artillery raining down on the Lowland Clans' city of Manchester, when Bedistan somehow lost 6-1, when Andrew Hessenthaler hit his head in a swimming pool, or when the Mod Powers exploded. It was even worse - somehow - than the brief existence of West Starblaydia.

Sufficed to say, it was big news. So big, in fact, that there was barely any room for coverage of Starblaydia losing their first match of the Qualifiers. Literally every piece of news, be it polticial, economic, travel, celebrity, sport, business, tech, science, entertainment or health, was being entirely dominated by one word: Anaia.

Not with a Bang, but a Whimper
Starblaydia lose final home game on AO soil

Had more than a handful of the 196,000 fans watching the Starblaydia/Wight match-up known that this would be the last time that the Starblaydia national football team would contest a match on Atlantian Oceania soil and consider themselves the home team, there probably would have been a party.

Or possibly a funeral.

Barely had the final whistle blown when the ink was drying on seventeen signatures in a far off city in Krytenia (even though they deny hosting it and try to point the finger at our fair nation's north-westernmost city). The Praetor herself putting pen to paper to remove Starblaydia from their centuries of stay in Atlantian Oceania and form a new, separate political entity. Anaia is now a reality, thrust upon the world like an Entan Husky thunderbolt from 20 yards, after some neat footwork from Iso Ray. Did you notice, world? A goal happened. But no, everyone has their eyes on the lines being drawn on maps on the news shows. Numbers of nations who seceded, or founded, or joined, the number of billions involved who woke up to find themselves part of somewhere new, or the thousands who were being forced to go back home, only their home was now on the other side of a line, with a new name hovering high above it on the map, and a new set of rules. Lots of numbers are left behind, which in Starblaydia's case can be summed up in just one, but broken down into many.

Seven.

Understand what that means yet? Try this: 1986, 1998, 2002, 2010, 2026, 2077 & 2256. Or how about, to solve the puzzle, AOCAFs 4, 7, 8, 10, 14, 23 and 61.

The 4th Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Assiocation Football Championships were held in Starblaydia, and it was here that they would win their first ever international trophy as Jhanna United's Spike Martin lifted the AOCAF Cup in front of a capacity crowd at the Jader Barbahlo Stadium. This was the tournament that saw the emergence of young players like future World Cup Hall of Famer Jerome Montefalcon, only 20 at the time and playing defensive midfielder for Cali Purples in Melmond. Young Geraint Evans, who would later go on to manage Starblaydia to some success, along with players from the Bedistan Premier Leahue like Jakkinho, and those in the Vilitan Stellar Division like Gavin Thornley, Rene Griffiths and the Nemyan Stelios Doukas. Starblaydia faced Sarzonia twice in the Group Stage and again in the Semi-Final, defeating them 2-1, 2-1 and 3-2. They also faced AO's first World Champions, Crystilakere, and long-time rivals Lamoni in that tournament, before becoming the first team to deny NEWI Cefn Druids a regional championship, as 18 year old Evans scored what would prove to to be the winning goal.

The 7th AOCAF Cup, in South Osettia, came in the wake of Starblaydia's first hosting of the World Cup with neighbours Druida. Fernando De Marco led his team from between the posts, one that included a sizeable number of Nemyan-descended players, such as Doukas, Vengelis Koentas, Giorgos Kasiouras, Christos Prokops, Stafanos Stantzos and Michalis Mitrofanis. This was the tournament where they defeated Krytenia in the final, having met great names like Lamoni, Vilita, Nova Britannicus and Cockbill Street (and also Xile) along the way without a single defeat.

Four years later in the 8th edition, Fernando De Marco again stepped up to lead his team, but the Corinthian Spirits goalie was injured in the first match against Nojika, a 1-0 win notable for being Itechton Matranga's first goal, and was replaced by Jessie Monteith. Captained from then on by Matthew Tobias of Montepool Waves, a familiar set of opponents: Nedalia, Nova Britannicus, Sarzonia, Cockbill Street, Druida and, finally, Vilita in the championship game as penalties were needed to decide the outcome. Anyone familiar with the Jungle Cats' record with the team in white and purple will not be surprised by that at all.

When Fmjphoenix hosted the 10th edition of the championships, Starblaydia would be able to bring several players to the side who would later become legends. The 'crazy' goalkeeper, Corominas, so weird that he played for Riandu Anum in the Rejistanian 1st Division. The first woman to play for Starblaydia's (until then) "men's" team, Cherry Garcia, was just eighteen but was handed the number 7 shirt after solid performances for the youth team. She would later become the first Starblaydi woman in the World Cup Hall of Fame. She'd be joined by the legendary attacking midfield talent of Menecrates, who scored the winner in Extra Time against Nedalia in the Final. Finally, young Jaime Oberlander, later a Baptism of Fire winning coach with the Pazhujeb Islands and manager of Starblaydia. The youthful core of this team, Cormoinas, Garcia, Oberlander, Menecrates and Raphaelo, would a few years later achieve the first impossible dream and win the World Cup in Kaze Progressa, as Starblaydia became Regional and World Champions at the same time.

Twelve years later, as the AOCAF was held at the same time as the World Cup, Starblaydia needed to send two teams out into the world. The A side, of course, went to the World Cup in The Archregimancy and New Montreal States, where they defeated Bedistan 7-6 on penalties to win Starblaydia's second world trophy. The B side travelled to Bettia, where a 34 year-old Cherry Garcia captained the side to a glorious fifth regional title and second double, in a team that saw the emergence of several key women in Starblaydia's national team: 18 year old Jacqueline Maitland would finish her career as Starblaydia's leading human goalscorer with the highest goals-to-games ratio of any forward in Starblaydi history. Paula Mendez, Tara Niodonna and Jade Matranga also all played starring roles, but none more so than Tabitha Di Bradini, the right full-back who came on in the final for Franciso "Iban the Terrible" Ibanez and scored the winning goal in Extra Time.

It took a little longer for Starblaydia to be crowed champions of what would become the multiverse's greatest sporting region, but they were on almost-home soil as they travelled to West Starblaydia (née Krytenia). There, future World Cup Hall of Famer Batou Nakamura captained the side throughout the tournament, registering to this day what stands as Starblaydia's largest ever victory, 9-0 over Kosovoe. A Lubii hat trick, two from Jaime Kuu and one apiece from Daymon Callind, Jack Stafador, Chen Myung-Bo, Ricky England and Nakamura himself. Though defeated by Pacitalia, victories over Oceanius, Lamoni, Krytenia (née West Starblaydia) and Bazalonia in the final gave Starblaydia a sixth championship. They even had two Di Bradinis in that squad, Carlito and Diamontii, and two years later Starblaydia registered a third Double with their third World Championship in World Cup 41.

This is where the lean years of the AOCAF Cup start, however, as the long-awaited seventh title took another forty tournaments to appear. Travelling to Equestria, the same place they had lost the World Cup Final to the home side just a decade earlier, Starblaydia defeated the likes of Tamgu, Quebec, Ko-oren, Iskandervale (losing to Twicetagria in a dead rubber in the group stage but still finishing top), Sarzonia, Mriin, Chromatika and, finally, Audioslavia. It remains Starblaydia's most recent piece of silverware, and the AOCAF Cup remains the mmultiverse's premier regional football tournament.

Starblaydia in the AOCAF Cup
1978-2264
Rest in RAWRCRUSH

Editions entered: 58
Games played: 371
Games won: 225
Games drawn: 68
Games lost: 78
Goals for: 801
Goals against: 455
Championships won: 7

Final score from Stadii Di Bradini, Jhanna, Starblaydia, for the last time in Atlantian Oceania
Starblaydia 0 - 1 Wight
(None) - (Husky, 60)

Starblaydia's first Anaian home game will be on Matchday 10, when they host Esportiva's Gouvanarch, before a trip to the East Pacific to face Lorrana as part of this week's double-header.

Already, outside, the coaches could hear the clattering of workers as they took down the old lime-green Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football branding, with it's exciting lines, stars and old-timey football. It was the confederation in which Starblaydia would no longer be playing. Instead, waiting to be installed, were freshly-produced boards of white and a slightly-purplish navy, with a minty green little swoosh thing orbiting what would presumably be the most prized trophy in Anaia.

It looked like a wide-beam phaser being shot into the air, or perhaps a rocket crashing. Either way, it was a symbol of the times, which were a'changing. Everyone watching the destruction before the rebuilding wondered whether fortunes would be about to change, too.

by **Murphtannia** » Mon May 17, 2021 11:48 am

Murphtannia continue unbeaten start to the season with another 2 brilliant wins

Hello and welcome back to ground sports, where we’ll cover Murphtannia’s home win over Pius Desurongcrandis.

It was a fine win for Murphtannia as they managed to meet expectations and beat the currently bottom placed side. However it was not plain sailing, Pius put in a good performance and it was a hard fought tie, and some of Murphtannia’s defensive weaknesses were exposed.

Pius took the lead inside 5 minutes when their striker was running inside the box, only to be fouled by Hogan and to win a penalty. Stepping up for that penalty, they then blasted it into the top right, a brilliant penalty.

However Murphtannia calmed nerves when Murphy made it 6 goals in 4 games and levelled the tie, heading home a fine cross from Elliott.

In the 20th minute Eliott himself then scored, hitting the ball from outside the box and smashing it into the top left of the net, an outstanding goal.

At half time, despite taking the lead, Pius were being run over and not really in the game.

As the second half kicked off, Murphtannia killed off the game when Pole was played a through ball from Styler, before slotting the ball home to make it 3-1.

However the game got interesting when Pius made it 3-2, when a corner accidently went into the back of the net, the winger of course claimed the goal.

However with half an hour to go, Murphtannia’s 2 goal lead was restored when Murphy slotted the ball home after being 1 on 1 with the keeper, getting the brace and effectively ending the game.

The game showed Murphtannia two things, one, Murphy is by far Murphtannia’s best assets, and two, Murphtannia are off to the best possible start and if they continue this form, this may be the year we finally qualify.

We then followed this with a 5-2 victory over Sharktail. An outstanding performance where Murphtannia were dominant for most of the game, although a late collapse put the result in doubt.

Murphy yet again got the opening goal to make it 8 goals in 5 games. He then got 2 assists from 2 quick fire goals from Saunders to make it 3-0 before half time.

In the second half, a free kick from Murphy was well saved by Ahmad, however he was powerless to stop the headed goal from Hogan to make it 4, and then Boland’s goal to make it 5.

In the final 70 minutes Murphtannia shut up shop, however this didn’t stop Azaim smashing in a consolation goal. Although when Harold then made it 5-2, nerves began to build amongst the fans, however it was too little too late and we ran out eventual winners.

That’s 2 storming wins from 2 and a solid foundation with which to build a qualification campaign.

by **Newmanistan** » Mon May 17, 2021 11:53 am

It wasn’t easy for members of the Newmanistanian World Bowl team to play with Bryce Miller, and many attributed a lack of team chemistry to what was perceived to be a premature playoff exit. The accusation came after two games, so it was a complete shock to the team. Different players handled it different ways, with Richard Clayborne notably refusing a high five from Miller after Clayborne intercepted a pass in the game against Sword Island, the contest which immediately followed the initial shock of Jessica Schaefer coming forward. Head coach Bryan Moore suspended Clayborne for the next game, as well as wide receiver Stephon Sutton and starting right tackle Javon Foster. Those players were allowed back for the next game afterwards, but the locker room division did not just go away. Stephon Sutton, while suspended, opted to attend a protest of the World Bowl team, demanding that Moore remove Miller from the team, but in the long run they would never get what they were after.

While Sutton, Foster, and many others spoke out against Miller, there were others that spoke out in support of their linebacker. Josh Hudson, a starting linebacker who played beside Miller in the Newmanistan’s 4-3 defensive base was one of the most supportive players, and would often remind people of the potential for Schaefer to just be after Bryce’s money after they broke up. Miller, of course, told the players that he was the one that initiated the break up. When the cheerleader from Southport University, Hannah Ramsey, spoke up, Hudson was very critical of that one, and said that sometimes in autograph sessions there can be incidental contact when people want to pose for pictures with athletes. Her $5 million lawsuit was not filed immediately, but once it was, Josh continued to sing the praises of Miller, calling him a class act in the locker room. Most of the players, to themselves, wanted Miller off of the team, but there was no denying that it did cause a rift in the locker room, and is an easy thing to blame the loss to Saint Kanye on.

Jessica Schaefer was able to tune out the people like Hudson pretty well. She seemed to be able to accept the fact pretty easily that there would be loyal teammates to Bryce Miller, and she was very grateful for the way that Stephon Sutton reached out to her. The best thing for her, though, was the friendship that was gaining with Shannon Stefansson, the starting defender for the World Cup team that was now playing professionally for Starksville United in Cassadaigua. Stefansson promised that she would take Schaefer to Cassadaigua one day, and hoped that it could be for the World Cup. Of course, no one in Newmanistan ever expects to qualify for the World Cup, but that would be a great time to do it. Cassadaigua is an appealing vacation destination for female Newmanistanians, partly for obvious reasons, but also because the nations do have a longstanding history of going head to head against one another in many different sports. Schaefer also expressed an interest in going to Chromatika, with a desire to see the country for all of its good side, since whenever she thinks about it now, she only thinks about the World Bowl, and when she thinks about the World Bowl, she thinks about Bryce Miller. There’s alot going on in Atlantian Oceania right now, apparently, but that’s the least of Schaefer’s concerns right now. Stefansson planned on taking Schaefer to a home qualifying game, but the early schedule was not really conducive for it. Just two home games in the first five matchdays, and one of them was the game in Putnam Lake, which is the last place Schaefer would want to be right now.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, things were not going well for Lance Halterman. He was the former roommate of Bryce Miller, who also knew Schaefer by association, and spoke out against Miller. In that, he mentioned Miller’s gambling problem, and specifically the Dover Bloodhounds. The Bloodhounds had become known in the past for violent revenge against those who crossed with them, but the new age group, for the time being anyway, has not done so. They are instead, focusing on cybercrime. In the last two weeks, Halterman has had his computer network shut down by ransomware, and the same thing, “coincidentally” happened to his parents. The hackers took it easy on him for now, not demanding a huge sum of money, but he would have to pay it, and do so in untraceable cryptocurrency. It was not known to the Bloodhounds that Halterman was able to get Stephon Sutton to give him the funds to do so, but at least he had that going for him.

Score Report:
MD4- @ Unknown location somewhere in Osarius (presumably)

Osarius- 1
#10 (we think) (37’)

Newmanistan- 3
Ryan Singletary (2’), Nick Blades (19’), Ashley Norton (68’)

Game Notes:
-- Newmanistan held a 61-39% possession advantage over the first 30 minutes of the match, but things shifted dramatically in favor of the home side for the rest of the first half, and into the second. After about 55 minutes, things settled in and the Rockets took full control of the match.
-- This was Ashley Norton’s first game of the World Cup, having been substituted in, in just the 59th minute.
-- Three yellows were given to Osarius players, whose numbers we believe were, #3 (14’), #10 (61’), #2 (80’)

MD5- @ McAllister Stadium, Putnam Lake

Newmanistan- 6
Paul Lombardi (4’), Lombardi (20’), Allister Levy (45’+3), Ryan Singletary (67’) (penalty), Kenzie Miller (73’), Tyler Callaway (88’)

Darkmania- 4
#11 (11’), #10 (15’), #11 (31’), #9 (55’) (We believe we have these numbers right)

Game notes:
-- First half possession slightly favored Darkmania, 52-48%, in what was way too wide open of a half for our liking, but that is Michael Starre’s game plan. After the goal by #9 for Darkmania, Newmanistan dominated possession, 65-35%.
-- The goal by Tyler Callaway was his first international goal.
-- Only one booking per team, #5 (we think) in the 67th, and Nick Blades in the 31st. Darkmania players really wanted a red on Blades, since it came after the ball had entered the net on #11’s second goal.

by **Drawkland** » Mon May 17, 2021 12:12 pm

E X P I R E D ...

When Nicole finally returned to the Citadel in Kayo, she was hastily given her effects and asked to leave. She didn't see Kanyo once she came through the portal, and Nicole figured the Queen didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She walked out of the huge castle alone, and was thankful to see her car was still there after a week sitting unused in the backlot. She expected to see at least a ticket or two stuffed under the wipers, but there was no such thing. Instead, Nicole found something even more shocking. Kanyo herself was sitting on the roof of her car, legs folded and arms crossed.

"Wha- hello, Kanyo?" Nicole didn't know what to say.

"One more thing, before you go." Kanyo stood up from the car and produced a small object from the folds of her cloak. It was something wrapped in a tattered cloth. The Queen placed it in Nicole's hand and looked her straight in the eye.

"What is this?" Nicole asked, starting to unfold the cloth.

"It's a small charm," Kanyo answered. "I think you know my advice on whether or not you should embark on this Quest. In case you've forgotten, my official advice is to forget about it. You are not prepared to handle the Quest nor the arguably worse horrors that come after it."

Nicole nodded, well aware of Kanyo's opinion on the subject.

"However," she continued, "In the case that you decide to ignore my correct advice, I still would feel remiss to have let you go without help. This here is a small charm. If you keep it on your person, it should amplify your aura and give you a little extra boost. This could be the line between life or death."

"So I just ... keep it in my pocket?" Nicole was grateful for the gift, but also confused at the Queen's generosity.

"That should be good enough. I would leave it somewhere at home though, because it only has enough power to last a couple uses. You wouldn't want to accidentally use it when you're not on the Quest, or something."

"What if I don't go on the Quest after all? Should I return it to you?"

"First of all, if you choose not to embark on the Quest, I'm proud of you. Secondly, no, you can keep it. Maybe you'll find another use for it, maybe you can keep it as a reminder for why you chose not to take this ridiculous journey."

"Thank you, Kanyo. I appreciate all you've done for me, even if I seemed annoyed at the time." Nicole looked down and finished unwrapping the charm. It wasn't a stone or crystal like she expected, but a metal Kayo Queens keychain. It was the same kind they sold in the Team Shop at the stadium.

"Wow, I didn't know you could-" Nicole started, but she looked up and Kanyo was nowhere to be seen. The Queen had just disappeared, and Nicole was alone again in the parking lot. "I guess that's goodbye then."

When Nicole got home she plugged her dead phone in, and was greeted by approximately 80,000 messages, missed calls, and notifications. Well, it wasn't that many, but it sure felt like it. She spent the rest of the night sorting through her clothes to wash and swimming through everything she'd missed, being disconnected from civilization for a bit. It was an interesting feeling - she felt a little stressed out from missing contact with the world, but during her retreat with Kanyo she hadn't thought of the outside world once.

Once she'd sorted through all her messages, she came across a few texts from her group chat with Cam Cross and Sarah Arrowsword - the other former Kick Corps members who knew of the Elite Eleven's secret. They'd been trying to get ahold of Nicole all week, obviously to no avail. It was already late at night, but luckily Nicole was on the east coast, so maybe the others were still awake. She hit the button on the group call and hoped at least one would pick up.

"NICOLE! Where have you been?!" Cam exclaimed, picking up after a few seconds of Nicole's waiting.

"I'm so sorry for missing your messages this week! I was on a retreat." Nicole explained quickly.

"A retreat? Why didn't you tell me! Where was it? What were you doing?"

"It was with Kanyo. I was learning how to use magic, or something. Iarocav told me to, and thankfully Kanyo was able to take me in."

"For the Quest! Of course! Did you learn anything cool? Are you like a wizard now or something?"

"Not really," Nicole admitted sheepishly. "Apparently I only have trace amounts of magic ability. I learned how to make a weak barrier around myself and a magic beam that I could maybe use as a weapon."

"That's still so cool!" Cam was clearly excited. "You have to show me next time we hang out!"

"Show you what?" Sarah Arrowsword's voice rang out. She'd just gotten onto the call. "What's going on ladies?"

"Hi Sarah!" Nicole said quickly. "I was actually calling to suggest that, Cam. Do you two have anything happening next weekend? Also, where are you, Sarah? It sounds really loud in the background."

"I'm in Ceni right now!" Sarah yelled back. "I decided to spend a week with my brother and his ... boyfriend. We're in some nightclub right now and I think my ears are bleeding."

"When do you get back?" Nicole asked, raising her voice and hoping Sarah would be able to hear her. "I need to take a trip to Elstrund to visit the Elf."

"I can make a trip to Esltrund next week for sure!" Cam replied.

"Great," Nicole replied. "Be sure to dress for exercise."

"I can totally make it out there by next week!" Sarah continued to yell. "But what's the occasion? Is there some reunion I don't know about?"

"Oh my God," Nicole realized. "Cam, did I tell Sarah about the thing? Did you?"

"You told me to keep my mouth shut so I did!" said Cam.

"Tell me about what thing? What's going on?" Sarah asked, then she could be heard talking to somebody else away from the phone. "It's some of my old teammates from when I was on the Corps. Yeah, Nicole and Cam. Do you- okay, fine. Everybody say hi to Andrew."

"Hiiii!" both girls responded.

"Hey Nicole and Cam!" Andrew yelled into the phone. It seemed like he was a little drunk. "Hope you are doing well!"

"Alright, enough of that, I'm going back to the bar." Sarah took her phone back. "Apparently I have some catching up to do. The alcohol off-planet is SO weak."

"Worst part of living in New Gelderland by far!" Cam laughed. Nicole also agreed, having lived in Avon for a solid part of her career.

"Okay, so can we meet at my place next weekend?" Nicole asked. "We'll fly out to Elstrund together and stay for maybe a week or something."

"Works for me!" Cam said, "I'll make the space in my schedule."

"I'll be there for sure!" Sarah shouted, and could be heard ordering something away from the mic. "Yeah, three of those, line em up! Don't patronize me, I've done this before."

"I guess this is the last we'll hear from Sarah for a few days!" Cam giggled.

"You're not wrong!" Nicole chuckled back. "Alright, I'll talk to you guys later. Have a good night."

"Goodnight Nicole! And Sarah too, I think." Cam hung up on the call.

"YEAH! I told you, I can do this shit any day of the week!" Sarah hadn't stopped yelling at whoever she was talking to away from the phone, probably the bartender.

Nicole laughed to herself again, and ended the call. Hopefully Sarah would remember to show up next week. A follow-up text tomorrow would definitely be in order. For now though, it was time for perhaps the tougher call.

The valley of Elstrund was famously a paradox. In the middle of a massive, nearly untamed wilderness, was a safe haven of civilization. A cradle of life in an unyielding series of mountains, forests, and jungles that stretched for hundreds of miles in every direction. Despite being in the middle of nowhere, it was filled with thousands, perhaps millions, of beings. Despite being filled with beings, it still seemed peaceful and quiet on most days. Despite being a place that famously eschewed modern technology, it still somehow had the same amenities.

When Nicole dialed the number she'd been given ages ago to contact Ellzidan just in case, she found it a little absurd. Apparently it was a cell number, but she'd never once in her life seen Ellzidan carrying anything resembling a cell phone. For that matter, she wasn't sure she'd seen the Elf use any sort of phone. Still, the dial tone rang for a bit, so the line definitely existed, right?

Suddenly, the tone stopped and Nicole heard a click.

"Hello? This is Nicole Warren, I'd like to speak with Ellzida-"

"Nicole! It's so nice to hear from you." It was indeed Ellzidan on the other end of the line. "Though it is a little late to be calling people."

"Hey! Sorry about that, I just got home. I will admit, it's a little surprising to hear you using a normal phone."

"'Normal' is not exactly how I would describe this setup, but that's not important right now." Ellzidan appeared to have some humor in her voice. "Now, I've heard that you went on a little retreat. I can't imagine this call has anything to do with that, now does it?"

"It does, kind of. I guess if you've heard about where I've been the last week you probably know what I'm going to ask here."

"Of course. You've completed the first part of your practical training for the Quest and you wish to continue. I understand."

"Would you be okay with that? I was wondering if I could come to the valley starting next weekend."

"I've already set up a room for you. I'll be awaiting you arrival when the time comes."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Nicole was a little confused. Last time she'd talked with Ellzidan, she giving a very clear rejection. The elf didn't want to play accessory for what would likely end in Nicole's death. Now she seemed to not only be prepared, but almost excited to help her.

"Before you ask," Ellzidan continued, "I am still not a fan of you going on this Quest. I still think it's a dangerous idea, and that you don't understand the magnitude of this undertaking. However, the fact that you're still trying to do this after dealing with Kanyo's melodrama for a week means you're at least dedicated enough to put in enough effort to have a fighting chance. Plus, I haven't had a good spar in forever. Fresh meat will be fun."

"Did you just describe me as fresh meat?"

"Yes. Fighting with new people is fun, it's interesting to see how they choose to use their skills and tactical mind. It's the same as playing a team you've never played before."

"I see." Nicole was a little offput. "I have one more request, as well."

"What would that be?"

"I may bring a couple people with me. Cam and Sarah, from the old Corps. I don't want them to come with me but Cam seems to have her heart set on helping me once I told her what I was doing. She's a good confidant, I know she wouldn't tell anybody else. And I'm bringing Sarah because she's been with me and Cam figuring out this Elite Eleven nonsense since nearly the beginning. It'd feel wrong to exclude her, and even though she won't be coming on the Quest I think it'll be nice to have her company."

"An interesting proposition, to be sure. I will arrange for more rooms in the tree. It'll be nice to have a little reunion."

"Thank you so much, Ellzidan. I know you didn't want this to happen, and I'm sorry."

"You're deadset on this. At this point, if I were to step in the way of genuine love between a mortal and an immortal, I'd be a bit of a hypocrite."

"What do you mean?" Nicole had no idea what the elf was referring to.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Ellzidan responded simply, and the line went dead.

by **The Licentian Isles** » Mon May 17, 2021 12:20 pm

The Licentian Isles 2-1 Silvedania

Licentian Goals – R. Grant (4 mins), A. McGregor (25 mins)
Silvedania Goals – K. Beaumanoir (73 mins)

Indusse 1-1 The Licentian Isles

Indusse Goals – B. Kumar (51 mins)
Licentian Goals – L. Allen (63 mins)

I’d spent a fair amount of time in the past few days pacing around my flat, but that paled in comparison to the amount of pacing I did after I sent an email to Professor Isabel Jurado.

I’m the kind of person who paces a lot anyway. There’s something about it that settles me, and allows me to think more or less about what is on my mind, depending on if I want to think about it or not. How exactly that works both ways is still something that bemuses me honestly. I’m not complaining, but it makes about as much sense as…

I’m rambling. The point is, I was incredibly fucking nervous.

Professor Jurado was clearly an intelligent woman. What if she thought I was stark-raving mad? What if she assumed this was a waste of time, or a hoax, or something else intended to take up time in her (presumably) very busy schedule? Would I get a dismissive reply, telling me I was an idiot, or nothing at all? Which of those would actually be worse?

BA-DING

I scrambled to my laptop in the same way I had every time I’d received an email since first realising that the Isles had truly disappeared. Thankfully, unlike the time with the fake Electrumite prince, I didn’t trip over a chair and fall arse over tit on my way there.

Holy shit. The professor had replied.

Not only that, but her reply was filled with affirmations. She didn’t think that I was crazy!

“You are not insane,” she wrote, “and I believe you and I can help.”

Wow. Maybe things weren’t as dire as I’d thought them to be. Maybe, just maybe, there was some possibility of understanding what was going on, if not returning things to normal.

I immediately found myself writing a reply to the professor. It was entirely possible that the message was complete nonsense, given my heightened emotions at the time, but I wrote it anyway.

Professor Jurado,

Thank you so much for your reply, and for giving me the reassurances that you did. I have honestly spent the last weeks imagining that I’ve been going a little bit crazy, so to hear somebody say that I’m not is bloody fantastic!

The concept of Wight is one that was definitely present in the Licentian Isles when I was younger, though whether there was any truth to the stories is beyond my knowledge. In all honesty, it was the sort of thing that parents would tell to their kids in order to get them to behave: “if you don’t eat your broccoli you’ll get sent to Wight” and that sort of nonsense. To hear that there’s some truth to its existence is fascinating in and of itself. To hear that there might actually be some link between this place and what has happened to my homeland is almost unbelievable.

I apologise for the amount of emotion in my previous message, and likely any messages going forward. This has been an incredibly difficult few weeks. I know that we live in a world where nations disappear and move on a regular basis, but it means something much more when it is the country I was born in, that I grew up in, and that is still home to many of the people I love the most. The thought of never seeing or hearing from my family ever again is genuinely terrifying to me.

As I said in my previous message, I don’t understand a huge amount of the science you do, but enough to know that it’s impressive. If there was a way that we could work together to figure out what has happened to my homeland, I would be eternally grateful. I would be happy to meet you in person to work out if there’s anything that can be done to understand this or return it back to the way it was before. I live in Exton in Apox, which is close to the Isles, so that may be a good place to meet if you need to see the extent of it up close. Equally, I am happy to travel to you if that is something that would suit you better.

Thank you again for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Best regards,
Mhairi Muir

I hit the send button and immediately collapsed onto my sofa. Even just typing out a message like that had drained me emotionally. I felt like I needed at least a bottle of wine to settle my nerves, so I opened one.

The more I thought on it, the more I questioned what I actually intended to get from this. I didn’t know if I would be able to do anything about what had happened, even if Professor Jurado did figure out what was going on. It was entirely possible that it would be worse to understand what was occurring, while also understanding that I was helpless to stop it. In the end though, I didn’t want to focus on that right now. I would take this one step at a time.

Right now, this was giving me hope.

Cyan-and-Gold Squad to face the Independent Athletes of Quebec at LTI Stadium, Montfort:
Starting XI: C. Fraser/R. Findlay, L. Allen, F. Watson, C. Spijker/S. van Duuren/M. Henderson, T. Johnston, A. McGregor, W. Tuininga/T. Weiling
Substitutes: S. Heijnis, S. Maartens, H. Shaw, A. Graham, T. Hughes, L. Hughes, R. Grant

Cyan-and-Gold Squad to face Damukuni at East Town Cricket Club, East Town:
Starting XI: C. Fraser/R. Findlay, L. Allen, F. Watson, C. Spijker/A. Graham/M. Henderson, A. Mazereeuw, A. McGregor, W. Tuininga/T. Weiling
Substitutes: S. Heijnis, M. Reilly, T. Ferguson, S. van Duuren, T. Johnston, S. McKenzie, R. Grant

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Mon May 17, 2021 12:40 pm

IT'S... THE WORLD CUP SHOW!

With your World Cup Hall of Fame hosts Basil and Theo!
(bringing you the finest in World Cup commentary since World Cup 1)

"Hi there, kiddies, I'm Basil"

"And I'm Theo!"

"And tonight we're bringing you commentary for the Holy Empire's home World Cup qualifier against the Corsairs of Sargossa"

"That's right Basil, and following Hastur the Unspeakable's hat trick against the Islands of Ventro, the Holy Empire are sitting pretty at the top of the group, and already looking like the favourites for qualification."

"And what do you think the Holy Empire Football Association's decision to play a team of cosmic eldritch horrors this world cup, Theo?"

"Well, it's worth stressing that they're terribly polite eldritch horrors, Basil. Why, following the Islands of Ventro match I believe that Gobogeg, the Twice-Invoked, and Ghatanothoa visited the home dressing room with a batch of freshly baked crumpets and some lovely floral arrangements, just to cheer them up a bit. Then they invited them over to a sleepover with some of Shub-Niggurath's thousand young."

"Awww, so sweet."

"So no doubt we can expect to see similar niceness from Cuddly Cthulhu and his Playful Pals at the Imperial Hippodrome this afternoon."

<5th minute>

"...the one about the two nuns, the donkey, and the plate of spaghetti?"

"A bit too early in the match, I think, Basil - González passes to Manzaneres just inside the Holy Empire half. Manzanares skips past the lumbering form of Cthulhu, dodges a tackle from Dagon's piscine form, bounds past Azathoth's amorphous being, unleashes a shot and... OH I SAY... WHAT A SAVE FROM YOG-SOTHOTH! MAGNIFICENT! Basil?"

"A tendril came out of nowhere there, Theo... That's a multiverse-class save."

"Though perhaps hardly a surprise given that Yog-Sothoth is said to exist outside the multiverse - a bit like the Holy Empire itself - and can perceive all of space and time simultaneously."

"That's right, Theo - there are no secrets unknown to Yog-Sothoth; which does make him a little bit hard to score against when he's on form."

<28th minute>

<...great big knockers; huge ones like this. You know, the ones on the doors of the Imperial Palace."

"Fascinating anecdote no doubt, Basil... but it's a free kick to the Holy Empire as Dengra brings down Nyarlathotep just outside the Sargossa penalty area. And what's this? Nyarlathotep seems to be arguing furiously with the referee."

"That's right Theo. It looks like the Crawling Chaos is trying to convince the referee not to hand a yellow card out to Dengra. He seems to be arguing that it was a perfectly fair attempt at a tackle, and that it's not Dengra's fault if the bending of time and space around Nyarlathotep's form led to the tackle coming slightly late."

"And.. it looks like the referee's convinced, Basil! It's still a free kick in a dangerous position, but Nyarlathotep shakes hands with a slightly non-plussed Dengra, who seems to be utterly bemused at the cloven-hooved black man of the witch-cult's sportsmanship."

"They really are dedicated to fair play, these Outer Gods and Great Old Ones."

"It looks like Cthulhu will take the free kick, and the captain is said to have a Tzimisces-like rocket of a right foot... GOAL! Curved beautifully over the wall in ordinary Euclidean space, and the Holy Empire take the lead."

<65th minute>

"'...and I love a little light frottage in the morning' her ladyship said, as I attempted to withdraw - in both senses - with as much grace as I could muster under the circumstances."

"Thank you, Basil; but a substitution for the Corsairs here as McAllister brings on Bienvenida on the left. And almost immediately he receives a searing long-range pass from Barrueco... and OH DEAR! Azathoth has accidentally manifested himself in his full cosmic form - only for an instant, but it seems to have caused Bienvenida to faint from the horror of the vision just inside the penalty area."

"That's the problem with Azathoth, Theo; there can be no definitive description of the full horror of his cosmic form because everybody envisions him differently."

"This is terrible. It's clear that Cuddly Cthulhu and his Playful Pals are absolutely mortified. Azathoth is waving on the medics, and seems deeply concerned with Bienvenida's well-being."

"I think the problem here, Theo, is that Bienvenida had come on as a substitute; even accepting that Azathoth's error there was entirely inadvertent, the Sargossan left winger just wasn't ready for the consequences of facing the Deep Dark in his full cosmic presence."

"It looks like Cthulhu is talking to the referee, Basil, and... Yes, Cthulhu has convinced the referee to give a penalty against the Holy Empire, but he... he's refusing to actually send Azathoth off. Cthulhu has convinced him that it was a foul, but the referee seems to be taking the position that there was no contact between the players, and the offence was wholly inadvertent; so penalty - but no red card."

"And Bienvenida is getting up, Theo; so only a temporary faint rather than permanent madness - which is always nice to see in these situations. Yes, he'll be able to continue."

"It's Manzanares to take the penalty.... And it looks like Yog-Sothoth is refusing to attempt to save the penalty - in part because the Imperial squad feel they've taken unfair advantage of their cosmic presence, and in part because their goalkeeper would always know in advance what the penalty taker would intend, and doesn't want to take unfair advantage. MANZANARES SCORES! It's 1-1 as we enter the closing stages of the match."

<88th minute>

"...knickers. Lots of lacy knickers. Which made me think that..."

"Sorry to interrupt Basil, but Rhan-Tegoth is shaking his head at Juan Tzimisces; I'm not sure what's happening here, but..."

"I think that he's saying that Juan Sebastián Varela called him a nasty name, Theo."

"As the ball goes into touch, Cthulhu is remonstrating angrily with his opposite number Esnáider. Can we work out what's happening?"

"I'm hearing from our sideline reporter that Rhan-Tegoth is claiming that Varela called him a 'great big jellyfish'"

"That's hardly an unfair description, though, is it Basil?"

"Ah... a poopy-faced great big jellyfish."

"I say, Basil... that's a bit low. Is there nothing these Corsairs won't sink to in their pursuit of victory?"

"I know, Theo; back in my day it was considered exceptionally bad form to casually insult a sensitive Great Old One, but now it seems that all the mundies are doing it."

"I think we should write a sternly worded letter to the World Cup Committee."

"Absolutely, Theo. It's time we stamped out that sort of thing."

"Cthulhu is clearly furious... though he's far too polite to take it any further. This is a very sad moment for the sport of football, Basil. But alas, there goes the final whistle. So despite the Holy Empire's sportsmanship - which saw the Corsairs avoid a yellow card in the first half, and then score a penalty in the second half - the opposition have still felt they can be a little bit rude to Cuddly Cthulhu and his Playful Pals. I just don't know what football is coming to."

"Time for a sternly worded letter, Theo; clearly time for a sternly worded letter."

"Absolutely, Basil - but in the meantime, on to the next match."

World Cup 88- Roleplay Thread

Boot It!: We Lost, But Also Won?!

Expired, Episode 10

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