World Cup 87 - RP Thread

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:38 pm

On the monitor, a scrawny man dressed head-to-toe in gingham, leather and tie-die corduroy leapt to his feet with his fist pumping, shouting "G'wan Emiliana! You [BLEEP] show'em!".

The camera cut back to the same man, Rohan Cammers, now live, who was shrugging and trying, with a fair bit of willpower, not to leap over the overly small desk in the middle of the room and smack Jeremy Jaffacake in the mouth. To be fair, of course, that's pretty much what any room is thinking any time Jeremy Jaffacake is in it.
"So, Rohan, we hire you to be impartial in this, the biggest match of the season, Shamrock versus 1830 Cathair, and here you are, celebrating a Shamrock player intercepting a first-half pass from an opponent?"
"Well I wasn't be paid then was I" said Rohan Cammers. "And I mentored Emiliana a bit back in my Shamrock days. It's good to see her starting a match. Just seventeen years old. She'll go from strength to strength, her."
"You don't want to, y'know" said Jeremy, nodding towards the camera, "apologise to the fans of 1830 Cathair?"
"Yeah, sorry I won you that league that time"
There is a harrumph of laugher - no more, no less. One, solitary harrumph - from the occupier of the seat next to him. The director tried to cut to said occupier, but had to cut to the fisheye-lens helicam in order to capture all of him.

Whereas Rohan Cammers looks like a malnourished jazz keyboardist who'd forgotten his padlock key and so had to walk home in clothes the gym had going spare, but all the spare clothes were left there by low-budget cyberpunk disco nazis, Rook Cathar looks like the box a harrier jumpjet might come in. He looks like what happens if you feed polar bear corn-fed chickens and then feed *that* polar bear to a larger, meaner polar bear that was also a lumberjack.

"He played for half the teams in the multiverse" said Rook, giving Rohan a playful punch on the arm and inadvertently giving the next fourteen members of his bloodline a scar.

"While we've got you here" said Jeremy, "First of all, congratulations on qualifying for the World Cup. It's been tough all round this cycle but you've done it. How will you feel if Shamrock go on to win the title in the first season you're not the manager?"
"Well, it seems unlikely after today, but I'd be happy for Alex. He's done a cracking job. They're playing better than we did last season. Plus, Finn Townsend."
"Are you disappointed you never got the chance to work with Finn Townsend?" said Rook
"I'm not sure we could exist in the same room" said Rohan, readjusting his velour boa.
"And Audioslavia's chances in the World Cup?" said Jeremy
"Better than if you were managing" said Rohan, drawing another harrumph of laughter from Rook.
"Better than if he were managing?" asked Jeremy, nodding towards Rook Cathar. Rook looked down at Jeremy, and then down at Rohan. Rohan looked up at Rook.
"I don't want to get rolled into a small ball and bounced down those stairs, so let's just say 'no'" said Rohan.

by **Eura** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:47 pm

emplor.eur/main/sport/football
EURA ELIMINATED FROM WORLD CUP QUALIFYING
Yes, you did read that correctly
Report by our Euran international team correspondent Thomas Webster

Eura have been eliminated from the World Cup at the qualifying stage for the first time in 28 editions of the tournament, prompting the resignation of Euran legend Lee Sharp as national team manager.

Former Audioslavia, Directus and 1830 Cathair manager Sharp, 70, said to the press that he was "deeply upset" that Eura's qualifying streak, one of the longest in world footballing history, came to an end "on my watch", after Siovanija & Teusland's win over Port Ember confirmed Eura's attempts to salvage the campaign had run out of road. Siovanija & Teusland will now finish second in the group behind Savigliane, the shock runaway winners of the group who will finish their campaign with a visit to Bastion on the final matchday. Shortly after Sharp announced his resignation, defenders Charles Roberts and Reece Lucas, midfielders Rhys Griffiths and Freddie Wright and forward John Fletcher jointly announced they would retire from international duty with immediate effect. Scott Walker, Wallace Pickton, Bradley Howarth, Jayden Fox and Tom Wellington have joined the squad to replace them for the last qualifier against group winners Savigliane.

The last time Eura ended World Cup qualifying without progressing to the final tournament was World Cup 59, when Sharp led the line up front in a team containing now former managers Steve Thompson and Daniel Belgrave. Eura had never qualified for the World Cup at the time, but would go on to qualify for the next tournament, announcing themselves to the world with a surprise run to the final at the first attempt. Lee Sharp wrote himself into Euran folklore there, top scoring at the tournament as Eura went down heroically to the Holy Empire in the final. It was so long ago that one of the main Euran players of that era, Dennis Arnold, has already died.

Since then Eura have had their fair share of wobbles, including starting as second seeds or having to go through playoffs on multiple occasions, but they have always found a way to pull through - until now. Although Eura have been out of sorts throughout the qualifying campaign, and their pitiful 0-0 draw with Kohnhead all but confirmed elimination on the previous matchday, many were disbelieving that Eura could really be knocked out at this stage, as fans on social media reacted with shock to the news that Eura were finished after strolling to a 6-2 victory over United Pink States. 'How? How the f**k?' said one Euran fan at a bar in Harther live on EBC television during an interview, summing up the state of mind of most of us when the news came in that it was all over.

There is some solace to be had for Eura in that they managed to go for so long without a qualifying failure since they first succeeded, and during that period they have been one of the most consistent sides in the world, winning two World Cups and finishing in the top four of nine World Cup's. They still have a strong squad for the future, with some world class players in their prime, who were hampered by an unusually bad injury crisis during qualifying; that and atrocious refereeing decisions against Eura in two matches could be held up as caveats against this black mark on Eura's qualifying record. Top footballing nations failing to qualify have a history of bouncing back quickly, and Eura will expect to do the same.

However, despite the potential for a speedy recovery for Euran football's wounded pride, there is no escaping the fact that Eura's failed qualifying campaign for the 87th World Cup is nothing less than a disaster for a nation which has become accustomed to footballing success. Questions will now be asked about senior members of the team, even including Brian Bond, who reached 100 goals for Eura faster than any of his predecessors but spent much of this qualifying season injured or out of form. There may also be deeper probing into other factors undermining Eura's performance; much of the sporting media is already demand that the EFA take drastic measures to force Euraleague clubs to give more opportunities to Euran players, in an effort to address an allegedly narrowed pool of Euran talent of recent years. In the meantime, assistant manager Tom Riley will temporarily take charge, as speculation mounts as to who his successor might be.

by **Xanneria** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:50 pm

This would have been a big win a few decades ago!
excerpt from http://www.xtrasport.xan/nationalteam.html

DOMINICA CITY - on a late November night, the Maroons took down a sloppy undermanned, underfunded Quakmybuish team in a frosty 3-0 victory but the snow melted on contact with the red0hot Kyle Falcon, Falcon's late surge has lead the Maroons down a path of unstoppable rampage of points. Falcon blitzed through a frosty game in where only half the fans where there. The snow blinded the QMB team as the time of possession was slanted towards the Maroons heavily. Even in the south of the nation it's not uncommon to see snow like this, even with some sticking to the ground. Coach Rhule had the following to say about the game versus Quakmybush

Well that was one of the more unique games i've ever participated in. I wish this was the days of old we'd call this a monumental win, but alas this is new Quak.

Up next is Norish Jeia Repah

XANNERIA - 3
Falcon 38' 80'
Brower 61'

QUAKMYBUSH - 0

Maroons playing for pride against foes.
excerpt from http://www.xtrasport.xan/nationalteam.html

NORISH JEIA REPAH - In the return leg of a game that was a very unnecessary draw, Bray Feltzewr and co lead the Xannerian Maroons on a revenge match hat blew the young Norish team out of the water. With Feltzer and Gasey as starters with Falcon starting off the bench do to hamstring tightness, this could have been a trap game. But instead just two minutes in a huge thundering boom came out of the foot of Andrew Gasey. Gasey could get some more starting time as earlier this week coach Rhule said he wanted to do more rotating of the strikers. Gasey also got an assist on a beautiful player by Doby Bunkirk the midfielder scored from deep after a Gasey pass, allowing the ball to go over the head of the Norish goalie who was playing way to shallow in goal. This is the first midfield score on a non penalty kick in a long time for the maroons too. But the bad news is, with Electrum pulling an upset of Vdara that is essentially the end of Qualifiers for the Maroons, but Coach Rhule has said he still need to go full Throttle, with the belt on the line the game title to the winner of the Match vs Baker Park. A game very winnable game given the second half of Baker Parks season has been nothing special.

XANNERIA - 3
Gasey 2' 79'
Bunkirk 60'

NORISH JEIA REPAH - 0

by **Vdara** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:53 pm

VdarAdventure

Following a fantastic 6-1 win over Bonbokh u Piche, people were expecting great things. Vdara were 3 points closer to potentially qualifying for their first ever World Cup, and fans were beginning to get excited. Well, they had been excited for most of the tournament, but now they were beginning to feel very excited. They couldn’t get excited yet, however - as they still had to get past Electrum if they wanted to seal a place in the top 2.

...

......

.........

............

I take it you’re expecting the usual match report, with the managers’s teams talk, goals, excitement, and more? Nope. No chance. You’re not getting that today. In fact, I think you might find this a bit more entertaining than a typical Vdaran match report. Now, you might be wondering where I’m going with this - but I think you should be wondering where you’re going, because you’re going on a VdarAdventure. Whether you like it or not, you (yes, YOU!) will be taking charge of the Vdaran national team, and you will have to deal with certain scenarios to see if you could have done any better than Lükækš Væñøœrëñbérghüïś. Are you ready? If so, fantastic! If not, too bad. Let’s go!

Scenario 1: You are choosing who to call up to play as a second striker for the Vdaran National Team. One of the options is a 40-year old legend who’s been called up consecutively since World Cup 84, and the other is a young striker who has been performing decently for a side in the Taeshani league. What do you do?
A) Pick the old legend
B) Pick the younger fella
C) Climb out of the window and hope that God will give you the answer

Scenario 2: It’s the first Matchday! You and your squad are up against Norish Jeia Repa, who are this group’s 10th seed. Your team are struggling a little bit, and the score is currently 0-0 at halftime. What do you do?
A) Tell the players to get their arses in gear
B) Tell the players that they’re being shit, and that they should be better than this
C) Tell the players that there’s still another 45 minutes to be played

Scenario 3: Well done! The fans are pleased that you won your first game, and the players are pretty chuffed and all. However, your next game is against Baker Park, who are the top seed of your group. What do you do?
A) Prepare a speech for your players about hard work, honesty and intensity
B) Meticulously study every mistake that the Baker Park squad has ever made, in order to try and exploit them
C) Go out guns blazing and tell the lads to attack, attack, attack, while compromising the defence

Scenario 4: It appears that you have the tactical genius of Tim Sherwood. That’s not a compliment. Anyhow, your next match is against North Japan, one of the other seeds of this group who are lower down. You may have lost to Baker Park, but you can still salvage this! What do you do?
A) Prepare an even BETTER speech, but this time about integrity and happiness
B) Tell the players to take it easy, since it should be an easy game
C) Tell the players “go out there and impress me”, with your hands on your hips

Scenario 5: Oh, christ. Your effort doesn’t appear to have worked, and you still dropped points against the top seed. No matter, you’ve still got a chance to pick your form back up, since you’re playing against Bonbokh u Piche. How do you think you’ll do it?
A) Tell the goalkeeper to go to the opposition box try and score from corners
B) Commit tax fraud
C) Rotate some players in the lineup to see what happens

Scenario 6: How did that even work out? Your odd tactical style seems to have worked out, and you won that game! Well done, mate, well done! The fans seem to love you for your odd tactical style, which is something that can’t be said for many managers. How do you think you’ll keep this up?
A) By changing up the tactics entirely for the game against Cascadia
B) By making sure the winning philosophy is drilled into the minds of your players
C) By following the advice of a suspicious man on the internet

Scenario 7 (haha, Lando Norris be like): Well, you’ve done quite well in your group, and the end of qualifying is getting closer and closer. You’re equal on points with Baker Park in second, but qualifying isn’t assured - Electrum is 2 points behind you. You’ve got one game left against Quakmybush, so what do you do to try and ensure qualification?
A) Emphasise the importance of this match and how nothing but a draw will be good enough
B) Get the players to chug energy drinks before the match
C) Make sure that the players get a good night’s sleep, and that they remember how the last game against Quakmybush went

Thank you for playing VdarAdventure! Did you have fun? You better have, since everything in Vdara is fun! Well, except all the complicated legislation, but you wouldn’t know that unless you’re a filthy tax evader. Anyhow, if you’re wondering how the match that was mentioned at the start actually went - Vdara lost 4-2 against Electrum, meaning that they’d have to beat Quakmybush to secure their place in the World Cup. Let’s just hope that Lükækš Væñøœrëñbérghüïś is as good at managing as you are, eh?

by **Astograth** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:55 pm

Duchess Airways presents…

DAINERI STARTING GOALKEEPER
The no. 1 cult footballing podcast in Astograth, with your hosts Ibon and Mantzia
Originally dedicated to the Audioslavian National League, then it spiralled out of control
Transcribed and translated by Transkribia, sign up at Transkribia.asg/DSG for the full script and a 30-day free trial

Ibon: … not going to say ‘I told you so’, though. I’m bigger than that.

Mantzia: I promise to take jinxes and curses more seriously from now on.

Ibon: All I ask. Because [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] what the [bleep] were we [bleep]ing doing out there against Rangers, huh? Against the [bleep]ing H Corporation? Who, by the way, as a corporation should be paying us for advertising.

Mantzia: Well, you can’t say we haven’t set up an exciting finale, Ibon.

Ibon: At our expense! At our! Expense! Are you kidding? Squornshelous are done, they’re through. And we- if Mriin beat the United Australasian Commonwealth, who have a single point out of 17 matches, then we’re out unless we win. Completely. Out of everything.

Mantzia: Except the Cup of Harmon-

Ibon: The Cup of Harmony doesn’t count.

Mantzia: Just saying that my prediction could still be true.

Ibon: Your prediction was that we’d win the UWC at the Cup of Harmony, off of Savigliane. The holders are Kohnhead and they’re playing Al Qurija.

Mantzia: Look… plans change. Kohnhead are probably going to the Cup of Harmony right? So the end result can still play out.

Ibon: I- true, true. Now let’s go to some listener calls. And remember! If you join the 50 diru tier of our Zaindariak, you too can send us a voice clip that we may or may not include on the show!

Mantzia: No guarantees, no refunds. That’s how we roll at Daineri Starting Goalkeeper.

Ibon: Here’s Chomin from Rumiatzi.

Clip: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Both: What?!

Ibon: What is he doing? What is he saying? What is he doing? It’s incomprehensible!

Mantzia: Is it a scream of pain? Of anguish? Of excitement?

Ibon: [laughing] A truly- a truly bizarre moment on Daineri Starting Goalkeeper. Is this really what you’re spending your supporter perks on? Let’s get the next one.

Mantzia: This is Laguntzane from Ituraitz.

Clip: Awful. Just awful. What else is there to say, man. We blew it. What are we even doing? Against Squornshelous it was exactly the same thing you were talking about when we lost to Mriin – you’re losing and you send on Salayeta? Can’t carry his own ass. And the other matches… Martel’s not fit to play if you need to keep bringing on Remondegi, just [bleep]ing start Remondegi. And Morua’s no good but Vaudrail insists on playing him - kid’s so out of his depth it’s painful, I swear. I’m sorry to say it, but I’m through with Pépé Vaudrail. He’s not taking us to the World Cup.

Mantzia: That’s harsh. Not untrue, but harsh. Does Vaudrail get another chance if we don’t qualify, Ibon? I think he should, to be honest.

Ibon: I’m not sure, but do you know who can take you to the World Cup whether we qualify or not?

Mantzia: Is this the spon-

Ibon: You’re right, Duchess Airways! Special discounted travel packages to Ethane and Taeshan for the World Cup, including all-inclusive ones to wherever Astograth will play in case we qualify! Book now, limited offer!

Mantzia: How can people book now if we don’t yet know if we’re going to the World Cup?

Ibon: Good question Mantzia, Duchess are taking fully refundable reservations terms and conditions apply, not always refundable.

Mantzia: Courtesy of Duchess, we'll actually be in Lisander next week.

Ibon: That's right, folks. For better or worse we'll be right there - Daineri Starting Goalkeeper Live! Always with you, in misery or despair.

by **South Newlandia** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:03 pm

A day, three stories, for lack of a better title

Greg Humphrey was a data analyst, sitting in Newport, currently bored out of his mind. His boss had asked him to create some graphics on the World Cup ahead of the final matchday. He literally didn’t care. He had no idea what it was about. Thankfully, he had some decent raw data sets. He planned on comparing this qualifying campaign with some stuff, but he’d have to plot the graph for right now first: It would show KPB-ranking and points of every single nation in the campaign and plot them, like this:

The trendline was being very mean. There were some far outliers, of course. Greg looked them up and found Savigliane massively overperforming and Nephara, Eura and Port Ember below or far below expectations. Squornshelous and Geektopia looked also like they would be exceeding expectations, and so were Cassadaigua; the two KPB-less teams excelling were Mytanija and San Ortelio; the two KPB- and pointless nations at the bottom were Nacaltora and Smosh Games. Who cares. Greg planned on doing a regional breakdown as well, that would be easy. Just a few clicks later, he had this:

Not too interesting. No one would be surprised by this. He wrote down an excelling team per region; Savigliane for AO, Tumbra for Esportiva, Squornshelous for the Independents, and Tikariot for Rushmore; and he would add some unlucky teams for good measure; Freeport for AO, Hampton Island, even though these guys weren’t doing too bad, for Esportiva, Sargossa for Rushmore, and Zwangzug for the Independents. It was mean, yes, but he had to earn his money somehow. He also made a note, saying “Trendlines are stupid and mean and should be gotten rid of”.
Next, he’d look at the graph for the World Cup Qualifying 86, and see if there were any big differences. He calculated the graph*, and had a surprised look on his face. “Hey, guys, get a load of this!”

This was surprising. There was no technical difference between the two tournaments, at least none that he knew of, and the format had been basically the same. Yes, there was a group more this time, and yes, this one missed a matchday, but that was it. Yet, the graphs could hardly be more different. Banija was all the way at the top of the 86-graph, having won every single game on their way to become World Champions, if Greg remembered that right. There was no such team now. The lowest scoring team for 86 was Kulefati, on a measly three points, the only team below five. Right now, there were seven teams on three points or fewer. And, perhaps most striking of all; the 86-graph looked very linear, while the 87-graph looked more logarithmic. Greg had no idea what to make of this, but he felt like it was significant.
*Huge shoutout to Drawk for supplying me with a list of all entrants and their KPBs, saving me tons of time!

Let's go!

Corban Green was nervous. The midfielder of the South Newlandian football team was about to hear the final talk from his manager, right before the match. He could faintly hear the fans in the stadium starting to make some noise. The Dome would be packed; South Newlandia would host their region mates from Tumbra on the last matchday of the qualifying groups. Everything was on the line. The Elephants had a chance to go to the World Cup. But they would have to win today, they needed the win. This might be the most important match of their lives. Three points were all it took. The pressure was real. Robert Wolverine entered the room. “Alright, guys. There’s not a lot to say right now, so I’ll keep it brief. This is the moment it comes down to. We’ve fought to be here. We managed to hold The Gothanita Isles to a draw, we beat U-Koro last game; a team that, although not the hardest, was far from being three free points. Today, we can collect what we earned. And you all know we can. We’ve been playing well. The best ever, probably. But; and this is very important. We have to stay calm. We need to remain focused; we need to use our brains. Tumbra will not make this easy for us, they’d love to play spoiler today. This requires everything you’ve got. We need to stay calm and fight like hell. I know it sounds paradoxical, but it’s why we’re here. Tactics, you know them, we trained this. Now, go out there, and give the fans what they want to see. They don’t want to have to watch two more games. We have a match to put it all away right now. And I know you have it in you to do exactly that. Are you guys ready?” “Yeah”, the team replied. That could have been more confident, but what gave? They had to go out there right now. Trischuk, Roy, Gurero, Anderson, Barker, Mohamed, Green, McMora, Wallis, Irving, McCabe. Everyone doubted this team, no one thought they’d make it. Still, most people thought they’d lose out right now. They went out there, greeted by the noise of the fans, cheering. This was their chance.

Josef Salazar was not a well-known man. The twenty-eight-year-old was only a familiar face of the hardest fans of South Newlandian football, of which there were few. However, that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t important. The young, green-eyed man from the suburbs of Elephant Valley is the Athletic Coach of the Elephants, of the South Newlandian football team. A few hours before the kickoff of the deciding match in his home city against Tumbra, he excused himself, telling Wolverine that he had important business to attend to. That was a lie, but is was also not really. He was going home, and he arrived soon enough at his small apartment. Being Athletic Coach for South Newlandia didn’t pay a fortune, but then, so did hardly any job. He entered his home, and walked into the small living room. He had cleared the space earlier, and he started unpacking his back-pack. A jar with a clear liquid, filled with tears he had collected; a rubber duck; and a large butcher knife. Carefully, he opened the jar and stated dripping the tears on his wooden floor. He didn’t just drip them randomly, he attempted to draw a pentagram. It was a shaky pentagram that was already disappearing rapidly, but Salazar placed the rubber duck in the middle of it. Taking the butcher knife, raising it high in the air, and chopping the duck’s head off in one clear swing, also leaving a noticeable mark in his hardwood floor. He’d have to put a carpet on it. Josef Salazar fell on his knees, folded his hands, and began saying a prayer.
“Margaret, thy holy goddess;
Thou giveth, thou taketh away;
thou curse some teams and others you bless;
I will ask you to sway.
Margaret, holiest of beings;
in control of the winning;
in control of the beatings;
in control of the binning.
Margaret, I came with a request;
You, controlling all the scores;
you helped us, you blessed;
you killed us, kicked us out the doors.
Margaret, thrower of dice;
I have a request, both small and big;
for you to do for us something nice;
for you to do what you do best: rig.
Margaret, I brought you this offer;
hoping to for you to be appeased;
for you to add to your coffer;
hoping that thou are pleased.
Margaret, please, stand with us;
stand with the small, the young, the thin;
and may my request not be superfluous;
please, please, bring us the win.”

by **Mriin** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:06 pm

Maal Memoirs
Sports
MNL Headquarters Under Siege

Yon Kegaant
Maal, Mriin

The scenes across the road from Haven are unbelievable. A disciplinary task force sent by parliament to bring several key MNL council members in for questioning was stopped outside the building by what appear to be private military contractors. Who the contractors are—or even what country they're from, though Northwest Kalactin is a leading theory at the moment—is a mystery, with the only known factor that they're in the employ of someone affiliated with the council and under orders to not let anybody in. As I write this an awkward standoff is still occurring between the two groups as word goes back to parliament to figure out how to progress the situation.

To pull this story back to the beginning, it all stated with the World Cup Committee (hereafter WCC) deciding to nominate Mriin to put a representative up for the WCC Presidency vote. Naturally the decision of who to select fell to the Mrii National League as the prominent footballing authority in the nation. Initial rumours speculated that Don Mizzet might come out of his footballing retirement to add a presitigous new line to his enormous list of titles. In the end it was founding councilmember, owner of AFC Hosingr, and shipping magnate Jezabel Cotler who took the nomination. In the interest of doing the bare minimum to look responsible, the Mrii parliament sent out an investigatory task force to the MNL headquarters for the purposes of a lip-service pre-screening on the WCC's behalf.

While the exact details of what that expedition uncovered have yet to be officially revealed, it is known that if the councilmembers had made any effort to cover up their illicit activities they did a real shit job of it. Countless paper trails left laying on desks in plain sight. An investigator still on-site did confide to me that the obvious crimes you'd expect a footballing organization to commit where present and plentiful: bribes, match fixing, unethical performance-enhancing (or degrading!) potion testing, laundering of their millions in television revenue and the like. And none of that would inherently be a deal breaker; Jeremy Jaffacake served (most of a) term as WCC President, after all. The bar is pretty low, though their lack of track-covering would be a concern.

What the investigator couldn't tell me was the depths that the records they did attempt to hide went to. A search only executed because their curiosity had been piqued by the plethora of incriminating evidence they'd already found. Because of the ostensible formality this event was supposed to be, no senior council members were present, which was probably convenient for avoiding any conflict when it came time for the team to collect their findings and actually leave the building. Word of where the investigation had lead must have gotten back to the seniors quickly, as in the roughly five hours between the investigation being reported to parliament and the disciplinary force being deployed, the military contractors had taken up their positions.

Violence at the scene seems unlikely: neither the contractors nor the task force are armed with firearms and a taser fight seems like a fruitless endeavour to everyone involved. The threat of violence, however, might be necessary to displace the contractors if they are indeed a foreign body who wouldn't respect a direct order from parliament. For updates on the situation since this was written and continuous live updates, the live news section of maalmemoirs.mrn will be your best source.

Of course, I would be remiss if I did not mention the grander timing of this event: as World Cup Qualification is coming to a close, with one game left to play and the Mrii national team at serious risk of their first non-qualification since their debut in cycle 77. The ancient and venerable nation of Squornshelous sits safely atop the group, secure in the knowledge that even if they're unseated from first place they'd be garuanteed to be among the best second-place teams and thus get a direct pass to Taeshan and Ethane for the finals. Three points behind the Squornshelans are the slight less ancient and venerable, but still possessing good quantities of both qualities, Astograth. And then two points behind the Astograthi are our Reavers. Our fate is not in our hands: a win over bottom-of-the-group United Australasian Commenwealth is required, but Astograth must also drop points to middle-of-the-pack Lisander. Any dropped points will do, as should the other game end in a draw so that both Mriin and Astograth are on 41 points, their deadlocked head-to-head wherein they beat each other 2-1 will give way to goal difference: a stat firmly in the Reaver's favor. How either potential qualification or even a possible Cup of Harmony birth will work given the current situation with the team's directors is unknowable, but the players can't afford to be thinking about that yet.

by **Huayramarca** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:15 pm

Let’s finish the homework!

Written by: Selma González
11/04/1982 – 5:24 P.M.

Despite being defeated in Audioslavia by a goal at the 16th minute, Huayramarca seemed not to be affected by that situation, although, that meant that the Condors couldn’t grab anymore the first place and the Bulls were winning the berth for the World Cup Finals. There was a last resort for the team at Sechura, Northwestern Kalactin was the rival and the animosity by the fans in regards of that 0-2 defeat away were notoriously visible, a significant amount of fans were packing the stadium since early hours of the morning, trying to take their best positions into the stands, they knew that the first part of two heavily important matches was coming, and there was a need to support the Condors in order to help them to do their job on the pitch.

Omar Caicedo was aware that the game was going to be a difficult one, adding up that the Kalactinians were trying to put everything into the pitch in terms of effort, the weather conditions weren’t the best ones at the Huayrmarcan jungle, heavy rain was present in the zone since noon, but the pitch draining system was behaving well despite the severe downpour. Rain calmed by the time of the match, which helped even more, but the Condors weren’t well suited to the conditions of the field despite being the locals. Jimmy McCarthy was able to intercept a pass from Ian Mamani to Orlando Mina, the striker ran through the pitch and was able to face Juan Mamani, the Kalactinian was able to slot a shot through the right post of the goal and scored the first goal of the match, at the 3rd minute.

The nerves in Omar Caicedo were high, he asked his players to concentrate even more into the game, the same feelings and ghosts of that match against Sargossa were repeating, Huayramarca started badly and allowed a 2 goal lead, but that wasn’t going to be the case this time, Northwestern Kalactin took another approach and decided to calm themselves, Huayramarca recovered the ball and tried to find more spaces available, Caicedo insisted to the players that they needed to attack as a block, and using the wings to do so. Gabriel Sayritupac was going to take more priority into those incursions to the rival area, Abraham Mendoza as well, the two wingers and their speed could be proven useful for the attack against the visitors.

Those ideas were useful and gave some fruit at the 33rd minute of the match, Gabriel Sayritupac received a ball from Ian Mamani, the winger managed to infiltrate into the box and also dribbled some defenders, he was able to shot on goal at the left post and beat the Kalactinian GK, the equalizer helped to control the nerves of the manager while the fans were throwing some paper into the pitch as the celebrations were continuing. Huayramarca wasn’t trying to attack fast in order to avoid giving up some gaps in the field that could be exploited by the Kalactinians. Caicedo was wise enough to avoid that situation from happening and instructed the players to do so.

The match came to the end of the first half and both teams were analyzing which areas should have been improved in order to get some goals during the second half. Omar Caicedo decided to hold the substitutions for a while in order to get fresh players for decisive moments. The Huayramarcan squad was in possession of the ball for some time during the second half, the substitutions weren’t hold for more, Saúl Castillo entered to the pitch at the 56th minute while Luis Mamani and Mario Ccahuantico entered at the 62nd minute, some fresh legs that would be vital in order to help Huayramarca on what was coming in the next minutes.

At the 76th minute, Ian Mamani was fouled at 23 meters away from the goal, the captain took the ball with resolution and kicked the foul, a precise shot through the left upper side was converted into the 2-1 of the match, the stadium burst in joy while the Huayramarcan National Team was celebrating. The Kalactinians were able to equalize quite fast, Thomas Butler was the scorer of it through a quite elaborated play involving the midfield of the Kalactinian squad, a filtered pass that let Butler score pleasantly while Juan Mamani wasn’t able to send the shot away. The sadness on the fans weren’t something that wouldn’t last a lot, Mario Ccahuantico received a magnificent cross from Gabriel Sayritupac, Ccahuantico controlled the ball in the air while chipping it over the Kalactinian goalkeeper, the substitute striker nodded the ball into the goal and scored the crucial goal for Huayramarca, a victory that means a lot for the hopes of the National Team to get a somewhat decent campaign.

The three points meant that Huayramarca has 37 points, while Northwestern Kalactin 36 with one game pending, Audioslavia in the other hand, qualified with 40 points in virtue that they defeated the Condors and tied another game, making it impossible for the Huayramarcans to take first place no matter what happen at the last matchday. Omar Caicedo said “We have to prepare to go to Emastalia, be confident on what we can do, play with calm and enjoy the moment, let’s see how far we can go, but let’s go step by step”. The Huayramarcan squad is at the stake of managing to do something epic in their short time of playing football, the talent is there and the possibilities too, it’s matter of finishing the homework and apply all the experience gathered in order to fulfill the criteria.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

© Sporting Times Weekend 2021
World Cup overachievers roundup
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

As is our custom, we’ll take a look at some of the teams from World Cup Qualifying 87 who have gone above and beyond expectations, their own and the rest of the multiverse. The only general criteria is that they will certainly finish at a place in the table above their original seeding.

This has been a cycle than has seen the rise of many nations in their second or third attempt at qualification, evidenced by the tightness of the competition in several groups where just a few points have separated sometimes half of the 10 teams at points during the tournament.

Tenth seeds—The two who jump out immediately are Mytanija and San Ortelio, both with outside chances of making the playoffs in group 8 & 6 respectively; the Mytanijans are making a return to WCQ after an absence of several cycles, so their unranked status is a bit of a mirage. Honorable mention goes to Tumbra in group 18, who have been in the hunt through much of the second half, but will probably have to be content with a Cup of Harmony berth.

Ninth seeds—There were a couple of breakouts from the BOF class in this bunch, led by Acastanha, who'll finish either 6th or 7th in groiup14, and PSTCT, 7th in group 15.

Eighth seeds—Cascadia in Group 4 have made life difficult for the top seeds, while NSCF powerhouse nation Ranoria in group 3 have also shown they are not to be taken lightly. Gouvanarch in group 6 and Saint-Domingues in group 5 have both pushed for playoff spots among competitive fields.

Seventh seed—Fluvannia in group 1 showed resilience and endurance until the last couple of matchdays.

Sixth seeds—Savigliane captured group 19 ahead of Siovanija & Teusland, Eura and Kohnhead, while Netop still has one final hope in group 5 to finish in the top 2. Legalese (15) and The Gothanita Isles (18) have also punched above their weight.

Fifth seeds—A crowded class here, with several of the nations we mentioned in their second, third and fourth attempt. Tikariot (group 17), Indusse (9), Plane of Possibility ( (2), and Saltstead (13) go into the final match with something to play for, while Gyato-kai (7) and Acronious (3) pushed the leaders to the end.

Fourth seeds—Graentfjell (group 9) and Huyarmerica (8) are on the brink of qualifying.

Third seeds—Geektopia in group 1 have booked their spot in the Finals and South Newlandia in 18 are assured of at least a playoff berth. In BP’s group, Vdara have led the field for most of the second half, but are looking wobbly in the stretch run; they would be worthy group winners nevertheless, and certainly have earned the respect of the rest of the group and much of the rest of the field.

by **Drawkland** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:28 pm

E X P I R E D ...

Nicole had spent a week with Mike which had come and gone. The days were spent at the Elite Eleven's facility where they lived and trained, and of course as the qualifying campaign was coming to a close they made sure to spend most of the day practicing or at least staying fit. Nicole joined in for a lot of their drills or helped out. After all, she also had something to train for. In the evenings and breaks she spent all the time she could alone with Mike. Despite all this, she couldn't get herself to talk about the Quest with him yet. It was going to be a tough conversation to have in any case, and she still hadn't fully committed to doing the Quest at all.

Once the week was over, the Eleven had to fly out for more World Cup business, and Nicole flew home to Kayo. Up next was something she dreaded: her training sessions with Kanyo.

Kanyo was one of the five immortal Drawkionels who had presided over Drawkland since its inception, which they themselves had facilitated. The eastern territory, mostly coastal land with a forested and mountainous inland, was specifically ruled by Kanyo. She was the only Drawkionel who was already of royal blood. The others had risen to power through other means, while Kanyo deposed her murderous father to save her life and took her place on the throne as rightful heir. She was the only Drawkionel to have exceptional arcane prowess in her normal lifetime, which accelerated to her becoming a grandmaster in almost all magical arts over the course of her immortal lifespan.

She was also, far and away, the most bitter about her lost mortality.

Somehow, Nicole felt more nervous about her visit to Kanyo's palace than her visit to Iarocav's Manor. Iarocav may be the more major figure (by a small margin), but she'd at least spoken to Iarocav a few times before. Also, he was way more inviting of a figure than the more reclusive Kanyo. It was strange too, as Nicole had lived in Kayo, the capital city of the territory, for several years now. She even played on the Kayo Queens, which were geographically, culturally, and partially financially, Kanyo's team. She still had a bad gut feeling, and her gut's feelings were well-placed.

Kanyo's palace was located in the center of the sprawling metropolis of Kayo. It was a beautiful structure, having been built many years before her reign and beautifully kept since. Some people called it Her Citadel, as its footprint was large and impressive. The grounds were symmetrical, being formed into 12 equally sized divisions in a circular pattern. The building itself had 12 wings, one for each section. The towers rose in a way pleasing to the eye, with white and pink colored stone making up most of its construction. The gold and black trim served for an interesting contrast, and the palace seemed to shimmer in the sunlight.

Half of the palace was available for various public uses, featuring museums, tours, storage, convention areas, and other public spaces. It was easy to get onto the grounds normally, but Nicole had to take a different back way into the palace. Iarocav had come through and arranged the appointment with Kanyo, so the staff were expecting Nicole's arrival. Still, it felt a little strange coming into the private sections of the palace, where almost nobody could be seen roaming around.

Nicole was led to park in a small lot in a private section of the grounds. On one hand she was thankful that someone came out to meet her and lead her to where she needed to go. On the other hand, the woman that came to meet her was pretty weird, in an unsettling sort of way. She only vaguely answered Nicole's questions and completely ignored her attempts at small talk. Thankfully the walk through the palace didn't take that long, and Nicole was able to distract herself by gaping at the incredible architecture and artifacts on display. Having lived in Kayo for years, she'd visited a couple of the public areas of the palace before, but this was entirely new ground.

Eventually she reached her destination, which happened to be the main throne room of the palace. She was taken aback by this, because she had thought she would've gone to an office or some other type of meeting room. Not this ... not a location so hallowed in Drawkian history. Not a location that was so incredibly intimidating when she looked down the room and saw Kanyo, seated on her actual throne, staring her down from a distance.

The aide led her down the center of the room, between the rows of ornate columns holding up the tall cathedral-esque ceiling. They came up to the foot of the steps leading to the throne itself, Kanyo now fully in view. She was dressed in some fancy robes which looked halfway between what an ancient bearded wizard would wear, and what a voluptuous female character in a B-tier MMO video game would wear. It was an interesting sight to behold, and certainly a far cry from the simply polo and slacks Iarocav wore when Nicole met with him months ago.

"Kanyo, Queen of the Lands of Kayo, Immortal Drawkionel of Drawkland, Grandmaster of All Arts, Arcane and Mundane, The Beautiful, The Terrifying, The Artist, and known by Many Other Names. She welcomes you." The aide proclaimed. Nicole was not expecting the entire rigmarole.

"Oh, do I- am I supposed to bow?" Nicole whispered to the aide, but when she looked over, the aide was gone, having retreated out of sight. Nicole looked for anybody else, but she was suddenly alone with the Drawkionel above her. Unnervingly alone. Not sure what to do, she simply bowed her head for a moment, then looked back up.

Kanyo slowly stood up from her throne, and descended down the steps to stop a few feet in front of Nicole. She remained silent as she looked Nicole up and down. Eventually Nicole had to break the silence.

"I am Nicole Warren. One of the Kayo Queens. Iarocav set up this meeting-"

"Yes, yes, of course. One of the sportsballing people." Kanyo cut in, dismissively. "I know why you're here. Let's get on with this."

Without another word (despite a few tries by Nicole to start a conversation), Kanyo led Nicole through the palace again, this time to a private room. It looked like a small gymnasium, or maybe a martial arts dojo. It was ellipsoidal in shape, with another tall ceiling and large banners with arcane symbols hung all over the walls.

"Let me be clear." Kanyo spoke up suddenly, turning to face Nicole. "What you plan to do is foolish. Immortality is a goal nobody should aim for. It's an awful and lonely life. However, Iarocav has once again recommended somebody for my tutelage. This time it's you. I would like to say that there's been so many of you over the years that I've lost count, for dramatic effect, but that's wrong. I never forget those that come to me for this. I'll never forget the people that I've indirectly helped lead to their death ... or to a worse result."

Nicole was stunned silent. She knew that Kanyo, like Ellzidan, was unlikely to be very encouraging, but this was next level.

"Now. You are here because, if you happen to have any sort of magical ability within you, it's important that you learn to use it to defend yourself. A vast, vast majority of people have zero, or trace abilities within them. The possibility of you being able to harness any sort of magic is low. I will do a quick test to see if you have any potential. If you don't, I'll give you a few tips to living with immortality and send you on your way. If you do, we will have a short lesson today, and I'll expect you to return on a daily or weekly basis to me to continue your training. There is not a lot for you to learn right now, but it takes much time to master the skills in a way that you can use them without exerting a large amount of mental or physical effort. You should know how that works, being an athlete of your supposed caliber."

"I understand." Nicole said solemnly. She still had no idea what to expect.

"Come forward." Kanyo instructed simply, and Nicole stepped closer. "I'm going to do three short tests to see what, if any, potential you may have. Just remain still, and close your eyes if you must."

Nicole held her hands together down at her waist, and Kanyo stepped up to her. The Drawkionel raised her arms, grabbing her right elbow with her left hand, and extended her right hand to press against Nicole's forehead. Kanyo closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and Nicole closed her eyes as well. She waited for something to happen, but she felt nothing. Kanyo forcefully exhaled, and opened her eyes.

"Nothing there." Kanyo said simply, then moved her arms again. This time, she grabbed her left wrist with her right hand.

"Excuse me." Kanyo murmured, and she pressed her left hand against Nicole's chest. Once again she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, but once again Nicole felt nothing. Kanyo exhaled and shook her head.

"Nothing there either. One more." Kanyo said curtly. She lifted her arms to face straight ahead of her, palms up. It looked like she was carrying an imaginary pile of books. "Raise your arms and rest them on top of mine." Nicole carefully obliged, her hands resting in the crook of Kanyo's elbows.

For the final time, Kanyo inhaled and closed her eyes. But this time as Nicole closed her eyes, she felt something strange. The hairs on her arm stood up suddenly, and she got goosebumps all over. She opened her eyes to see faint waves coming off of her arms. She looked around and saw almost a green translucent field surrounding her. Kanyo nodded, and opened her eyes as she exhaled.

"That, Nicole, is something."

by **Banija** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:29 pm

@KumaBultum I know this is a big World Cup Qualifier, but damn! New Lusitania fans greeted us with an hour long fireworks show from 2:30 to 3:30 AM local time- sleep is for the weak, I guess. #BNJvNLA

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Last week, Banija clinched a berth in World Cup 87 with their 6-2 win over Jeruselem in Busukuma. While Banija is already through, this game against New Lusitania is one of the biggest in their history- they are 3 points from the playoff, and have never played in a World Cup. Will Banija play spoiler here in Jamor? #BNJvNLA

@KadongoKamu New Lusitania fans have been coming out in droves all night and all day long! Fireworks at the hotel, drumlines and horns all night long, and just a constant wall of noise ever since our plane landed. It's gonna be a fun time at Jamor, isn't it? #BNJvNLA

@LatterDaySoldiers Being a travelling fan today is one HELL of an experience. Great job by New Lusitania's fans. But let's get one more momentum building win to take to World Cup 87 boys! #GoBanijaGo

@IlmanJawara New Lusitania's fans have been showing out ever since we touched ground... talk about the impact of the 12th man. Jamor will be a wild ride, won't it?

by **Independent Athletes from Quebec** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:29 pm

OOC: For this matchday cutoff, I will split my Part 9 into two pieces. This will be the second of two posts I have written for the day. I would like to thank Schottia for his permission with the use of Tessa Maitfield, his national team player currently playing with CSKA Quebec, back in July. I would also like to thank several other RPers who I have consulted over the last few days on the Maitfields. Here's not much, but let's see how this goes..

I Run To You

PART 9 (49) - Lifted

The party went along as expected for everybody. The lights, the bulbs, the meeting of eyeballs, and the firm mix of odd alcoholic odour coming from every corner - the environment was relaxing, understanding and gradually forgetting.

Ah…..ah….ah….. Frank felt his phone vibrate while drunk, as he was watching all unfold on the comforts of his sofa with little intrusion. He was smiling, enjoying the moments unfold, as eh felt the odd sense of merging faces with how happy they were, almost as if they were about to break down his barriers towards their ‘eccentricities’.

Frank unlocked his phone, and he checked the phone. Unfortunately, it was nothing but a work email from Marzig, which certainly wasn’t something a lad wanted to read while on a party. So he closed the phone, looked back, and kept himself immovable thanks to the weight of alcohol in his system.

He recalled earlier on how Myeong-Yoon left him with a friend of theirs, a certain Tikariotian metalhead Frank never ended up remembering her name, and went off to pick up a couple of drinks. Then everything just passed quickly- he remembered talking to the girl about her home province of Viljamark, their opposition towards bloodsport, and their respective preferences of alcoholic beverages that while tempting, left him back on the couch wondering the purpose of his presence in this party where everybody had clear intentions but he.

The upcoming trip to the southwestern tip of Tyran better be good, especially after yet another forced failure at this party…

Frank thought of disappointments that formed around every time he went to a party where none of his ‘les gars’ were really present- and thought of how things so small, from an accidental spill, spoiled it more often than not. Then not much he remembered.

The next thing Frank remembered, however, was that he was outside Hazel’s place, as Frank desperately attempted to get some air. What he remembered was that his stomach was twirling like a late night fishing trip on some distant sea, and Frank had no choice but to escape it.

Ah...Ah...Ah… As he quickly gaped for breaths in a set of disgruntlement, he heard the door shut once again. ‘Huh,’ he lifted his voice as he turned around to see who it may have been. Unfortunately he couldn’t exactly see who the stranger was, so he turned his back again, hoping that he didn’t see a goblin.

Fortunately for Frank though, it was the opposite of a goblin, as Frank once again heard his name being called out. ‘Are you not comfortable with where you are, aren’t you?’ Frank heard somebody, a feminime voice shout behind him, sounding as if she had already heard of a relative-nobody in him. Frank turned around, unintendedly bumping into her as they briefly slumbered before seeing their faces once again.

To his surprise, it was a girl, who looked similar to Hazel- a tall, blonde with a sleek figure and all the confidence she needed on the surface to make it to the big stage on whatever her career had meant. As Frank gathered his gaze, he looked upwards and realised that it may be this….Tessa Myeong-Yoon may have mentioned about earlier.

‘Um...yes. As you can see, I’m not from here.’ Frank responded, trying not to embarrass himself in front of her. Deep inside, however, he was practically frozen, noticing at how the stranger, who may have just heard of his name just as a name-drop five minutes ago, approached the perfectly-embarrassed guest. He couldn’t help but to admire how she caught his eyes- a pretty woman but without having to flout her traits; medium-length blonde hair, blue eyes with hues of grey added to it, and her smile that only semi-concealed the layer of ‘tristesse’ in the Schottian. Frank remembered seeing her sometime back in the first hour of the party, probably chatting with Hazel, the host of the night who was distracted trying to arrange beer pong tournament pairs and to keep Myeong-Yoon’s hands off her prize of the night.
Of course Frank, being ever so poor with his eyesight in terms of ladies, happened to just acknowledge along and moved onto another chamber. But if there’s one thing, that after all the epic failures Frank experienced that night, from that dead-end conversation with the Tikariotian, the slumbering self at the living room sofa, or the desperate attempt not to throw up or embarrass himself outside her place, that he was going to remember was how the two misfits looked at each other.

‘Thought so. You know, I’m from here as well, but not really- grew up mostly in Ceni, spent time in Port Christopher and then played in Cosumar before moving to your country.’ Tessa responded, the timbre of her voice clearer and bitterer than earlier, mostly because that may have been any better way of describe Tessa’s struggles. To be underestimated, to be ignored along, and under constant conflict… Forever wanderer, as your friends would call me.’

‘Hazel feels the same way, please don’t feel bad,’ Frank responded, trying not to laugh, and then brought his face closer to her. At around 178cm, they were roughly around the same height. Eau de cologne, like sea salt from South Berwick- he could smell it right away, and their gaze leaving them dazed. ‘I think you should go back home. Friends want me to stay a bit longer, in case they need someone to order a cab or call an ambulance.’

Of course, that’s not how the night was gonna turn out, as Tessa grabbed his left arm, not letting go of the grip. ‘I don’t want you to go,’ she said back to him, the distance between two of them practically nonexistent. ‘You need somewhere quieter, not walking your way back to downtown. The trains will take a while to arrive apparently.’

True, Frank thought, thinking about how much time he and Myeong-Yoon had wasted in their near-perfect effort to blend into the crowd. The grey in her eyes, as he looked further at her, started to lift, replaced by shades of purple and lavender.

‘Why not the basement? I know Hazel has plenty of rooms there, and none of her girlfriends are ready to sleep, I don’t think.’ Frank said, looking at Tessa’s natural layers of pink and the fading hues of lipstick.

‘Sure, probably easier to talk there,’ she said, deciding to let the instincts handle it.

Every first moment, even for those who had long anticipated the matter, requires awkwardness. That’s exactly what happened to Frank and Tessa as they slowly fell into each other’s arms, and found their physical comfort in each other.

Given both their status as professional athletes, they knew what the term ‘good sport’ had meant, and while it took some effort to lower their rice purity test score, the hard-worker in them also knew what it meant to enjoy the process. Innocent touches under the dim lights, primal instincts in the darkness, the mix of IPA and tonal signs on their breaths, the chuckles at noticing how awkward they were under test drive...it was something new for both Frank and Tessa.

When the morning came, Frank couldn’t help but to realise how quickly the hours had passed, and how sometimes, unlikely things just happened to happen beyond the matters of his control. The warmth of another body, stark to the degrees of uncertainties around their lives, were something that he knew neither Frank nor Tessa were comfortable before in their young lives and careers, but it was in that where they saw promise in one another. Her lip balm, the curves of her form, and the way her hair tickled his shoulder were only the additional reminders to that.

It was strange, unfamiliar and of course, scary for either party, who have gone through enough bitterness in their lives and did not want to say it so publicly. But, at least, the matter of liaisons was going to start differently for once, and he may not even have to make it all the way on West Aotearoan mountains to see that.

In the meanwhile...

Of course, everybody but them knew this was a matter they had planned in advance. As Heo Myeong-Yoon sat in the local twenty-four hour breakfast diner, waiting for the others to come along, Heo Myeong-Yoon exhaled and was relieved at the success of the mid-summer party in Handon. All the heart-warming and stomach-filling smell of pancakes, maple syrup and the rich breakfast fare were giving her much relief. Sitting on the table, she recognised Hazel Hanson-Conavacio, Mara James-Yim (Schottian olympic swimmer Rebecca James's daughter), and Ben McGowan the latter's fiance. Myeong-Yoon saw them all smile in surprise, as she embraced each other.

'Congrats for well, being the number one to hit the old diner! Not tired I guess?' Mara spoke as she noticed how Myeong-Yoon, even though tired, looked even happier than everyone (including Myeong-Yoon herself) intended. 'All good I guess? Ready for some shopping later?'

'I guess so!' Myeong-Yoon responded with her hands on both sides of the waist. 'The flight is still not until Tuesday, but you know, better start thinking about what'd be best souvenirs to get for our hosts down there, and not to make mistakes. Stay environmentally-friendly and whatnot.'

'I agree with you for sure,' Hazel responded, noticing the odd void in Hazel's seat, before asking. 'Where is Rico?'

'Rico's still asleep...that bastard will probably drop by in twenty, but he's taking forever with showering,' Myeong-Yoon responded as they all chuckled, realising that the host's mission, carefully planned from the beginning, had once again failed- with her best friend being the lucky one of the night. 'Let's see how he's gonna do.'

'And what about you know, Tessa and Frank?' Ben asked, too noticing that the happy-go-early people were missing. 'Did Frank leave early last night?'

'Um...' Hazel cleared her throat. 'Let them be...the lovebirds, they took my bedroom when I decided that it was time to kick a couple of unruly guests, and send others home. Last time I checked before that they were in the basement, but apparently somebody told Tessa to go upstairs instead, because the bed's comfier there...who was it? Huh??'

by **Recuecn** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:30 pm

"Abs, ça va?"

"Malick, mon frère! I'm good, what's up!"

"Hey look, I know you're probably still stressed out and stuff after all that iROS stuff, but I was thinking that - okay, let me start over: first off, I'm so proud of you and you've been doing so well."

"Thanks." Malick couldn't see him over the phone, but Abdoulaye smiled, looking down and toying with his short hair. He wasn't sure why compliments from his brother made him feel so happy inside.

"Second, I've got just the thing to distract you for a bit, you're going to love it. This is going to be so much fun."

"What is it?" Abdoulaye had no idea what his brother could have come up with now.

"Have you been following the World Cup qualification?"

"Not really... are we not qualified yet? I thought the World Cup was starting like pretty soon."

"No, yeah, uhh... the team's really fallen off. I don't know if you remember the IAC..."

"Oh, they did really bad, right? You know you follow football more than I do."

"Yeah, yeah, well, they sucked during the IAC, and they've sort of been doing better during qualifiers but still not great. It looks like they're going to have to go into a playoff for their world cup spot."

"Huh. Against who?"

"Well, we don't know for sure yet. But if the group ended right now, they'd go up against Nephara. And there's some other big names that are probably going to be forced into the playoffs as well. So that's not great."

"Yikes." Abdoulaye paused, confused. How had they started talking about soccer? "Wait, didn't you say you had an idea?"

"Yeah! So, since it's really going to come down to the wire for qualification, every point matters. So our last game, even though it's against Silvedania, who aren't supposed to be super good, it's still going to be important."

"Okay..."

"So..." Abdoulaye could hear the excitement in Malick's voice as he tried to hype him up for what he was about to say. "I got us tickets to go see the game in Silvedania!"

"Oh boy, another plane flight!" Abdoulaye faked enthusiasm.

"Okay, chill. I know you're sick and tired of flying all around the multiverse for these races. But I promise this will be worth it."

"I don't know, I was just planning to stay home and watch the Nexus Driver Academy on TV..."

"Okay, now you're just teasing me. Besides, think about how fun it will be. Reçueçn's first WGPC driver out with his brother to see the national soccer team play... we can put on shades so no one will recognize us..."

"We're not celebrities, Malick. Nobody knows who we are. No one will recognize us."

"You gotta fake it 'till you make it. With that attitude, you'll never be a celebrity. You gotta add a little mystique, make people think you lead an interesting life with secrets that they want to know about."

"I very much don't."

"Oh, come on."

"Aw, you know I'm just messing with you. Of course I'll come, I don't have anything better to do."

"Awesome! It's going to be a blast!"

"It's going to be very fun. The game's this weekend?"

"Yeah. I'll send you your tickets and I'll let you know what else you need."

Abdoulaye smiled as he hung up. His brother was right, it would be a great weekend getaway, and he couldn't deny that now that he was an actual WGPC driver, appearing somewhere international where there might be TV cameras rolling did have a certain allure, a certain attraction. He'd never been to Silvedania, but a quick look at their government's tourism website indicated that they did speak at least some French there, so it should be easy to get around. And maybe, just maybe...

Abdoulaye smiled. His brother had given him this wonderful surprise, but he could do him one better.

That had all been Thursday. Friday had been a blur of preparations: running a couple last minute errands, cancelling that one get-together he'd had planned this weekend, packing, calling back and forth with Malick to rearrange hotels and flight bookings, and making arrangements for the... well, for Malick's surprise. Today was Friday, and they'd caught a flight at the Reçueçn City Airport at 10:30 in the morning with as few connections as possible to get them to New Gardenalia, Silvedania's capital, where Lightgarden Field was located. Their hotel was a modest one - Abdoulay, despite his new WGPC driver status, still wasn't used to spending lots of money regularly. There were certainly moments when he would splurge, asking himself "and after all, why shouldn't I buy this?" But for the most part, the spendthrift attitude he had grown up with in his immigrant family prevailed. He and Malick shared a room, and slept very comfortably.

The next morning they woke early, as one does when sleeping in a strange bed for the first time. They took their time showering and getting dressed before heading down to the hotel lobby to scarf down a continental breakfast. As Malick scarfed down an extra croissant, Abdoulaye checked his phone. It buzzed as he glanced at it, and a notification appeared on the screen.

E. Cutrona
ready

"Hey Malick, you planned some sight-seeing for us today, right?"

Malick looked up. "Yeah, why? I was thinking we're done breakfast. Or as soon as you're ready."

"Okay, well I have something I organized that I'd like to show you first, is that alright?"

"Yeah, sure, what's up?"

"Here, come with me." Abdoulaye stood up and gestured towards the hotel's main entrance.

"What, right now? Can I finish my croissant?"

"Bring it with you."

"Goodness, alright then." Malick's eyes widened as he wondered what could possibly be so urgent, but obediently he grabbed his half-eaten croissant, pushed in his chair, and trotted along behind his brother. The hotel doors slid open and they emerged onto the curbside, blinking in the morning sunlight, to find an unmarked car waiting with te passenger window rolled down. The driver leaned over.

"Monsieur Goita?"

"Oui, c'est moi." Abdoulaye grinned and waved. He opened the door for Malick. "Get in."

"Who... what?" Malick didn't try to hide his confusion, but went ahead and got into the back of the car without hesitation. "Where exactly are we going?" he asked, as they pulled away from the curb.

"You'll find out when we get there." Abdoulaye, sitting next to his brother, glanced across at him. "Don't worry, you'll love it."

"Man, this is exciting! I don't actually have any idea where we're going."

"Think of this as my thank you present for setting up such a great weekend. This has already been a lot of fun and I can't wait to watch the game with you. And don't worry about the sightseeing - if we don't get to it today we can do more tomorrow."

"Wait, how long is this going to take?"

Abdoulaye grinned. "Don't worry about it."

In about five minutes the car pulled up to a large sports complex, a little further from the center of town. A large purple bus was parked outside. As Malick and Abdoulaye got out of the car, Malick began to stare at his younger brother incredulously. "No... this isn't... there's no way."

Abdoulaye just smiled again, and when the chauffeur pointed the way, led Malick through the front door. And as the automatic door slid open, there on the other side, waiting to greet them...

"Abs et Malick Goita! Quel plaisir!" Emanuele Cutrona's accented French was always cute during TV interviews, but in person it was absolutely captivating. Abdoulaye was beaming, euphoric. But most of his joy came from his brother's reaction. Malick almost screamed and collapsed as his knees bent in happy surprise. He put his hands to his cheeks as if to hold his face on as his widening smile threatened to tear it off. Malick, the most self-assured man Abdoulaye knew, could only limply take the handshake offered by Emanuele, who himself was smiling broadly, perhaps pleased with the reaction he was getting, but more chiefly catching the contagious joy of happy surprise.

"Abs! You didn't!"

"Well, he did," said Emanuele. "Some of us unicorns are big fans of the Goitas, so when he called us to see if he could arrange something special for you, we were more than happy to oblige. Here, follow me and I'll introduce you to the whole team."

"Ah!" Malick couldn't contain himself.

"You'll get to spend the rest of the morning with us until we have to leave to get ready for the game, but we've got special seats for you, and we'll give you some merch later. But come on, let's meet the boys!"

Emanuele stepped away to lead the way, and as he turned his back, Malick gave Abdoualye a big hug. "I'm so happy! Thank you, thank you!"

World Cup 81/82/83/84

All to play for on final day
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail National Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth National Team will make their final stand in the fight for a chance to extend their record of qualifying for the World Cup to eight consecutive cycles when they travel to Xanneria to face the hosts at the XannAir Stadium on the closing matchday of qualifying.

Baker Park held off the Maroons 2-1 in the first meeting at the BBP Stadium, and can accept nothing less than taking all the points once again if they hope to secure a place in the playoffs at a minimum, or even have a chance to qualify automatically as either Group 4 winners or as one of the top three second placed sides.

Each of the three previous occasions when the Bees concluded qualifying away from home have seen them return with victories, and Ichi Tuzzio’s side have a bit of extra incentive to refuse to lose in Dominica City—the hosts are the current holders of the “belt” signifying the interim Undisputed World Championship, which BP held coming into WCQ87; regardless of any other permutations that might arise from the results on the final day, it would be an achievement to point to regardless of how the rest of the campaign unfolds.

There will be a great deal of attention being paid to the happenings at the VdarArena, where Quakmybush will attempt to deny the hosts an outright automatic qualification, while both matches will also be closely watched by the supporters of Electrum who will be in Cascadia and have a chance to sneak into the top two depending on final results.

Game notes:
--The Commonwealth have chosen to go with their “lucky” kit worn during the AOCAF for the away contest, white shirts and black shorts, along with the traditional gold socks.
--All 5,500 tickets made available to the FAC have been sold meaning the entire away campaign was at 100% capacity.
--Tickets for a potential home playoff leg will be available for sale by 1pm the day following the match in Xanneria.
--Several of the veteran players and members of the coaching staff recorded a short video wishing former NT assistant manager Kate DiMarini luck as her Zwangzug side also have chance to make Finals or the playoff if things work out in Group 5.

lineup vs Xanneria:
Johnston; O'Connell, Wiseman, Jordan; Grimaldi, Westmoreland (C), Taborn, Ngoba; Bozeman; Laing, Wadsworth

by **Euran Oceania Territories** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:34 pm

skorji.eot/theway

SKORJI SPEAKS
The Expats are living and breathing The Way, and only getting better

Hello followers!

It is a solemn day. The motherland, my home, has been struck by the foul, cunning guile and dark magic of the satanic goddess Margaret. The mighty Eura have been laid low by their enemies - but they'll be right back, I'm sure. Lee Sharp, my old friend, my mentor, has called it a day. Hats off to you Lee! You were a true prince of The Way. You deserved better.

Fortunately, not everything is doom and gloom in the Eurasphere when it comes to football. The Territories...well, we haven't qualified. Again. And I would very much like to change that for once, despite how we already do so well with so little resources. And we've tailed off a bit in the last couple of matchdays, to be frank; I dented at least one or two players egos with my words following our disgraceful 4-0 defeat against Squornshelous.

But we've also won a game for every defeat we've had, adapting brilliantly when I demanded an eight forward formation from my players, and one of our two draws came away at Mriin, a spectacular result and another fine episode to add to the glorious short history of the Expats. This has all been managed without some of the best players in our history, many of whom have retired in recent years. So hats off to the Euran team of the moment - the Territories have really set a precedent for the future. My expectation is that this should be our minimum level of performance.

Mind you, if it were up to me, we wouldn't spend so much time talking about the "Euran" in Euran Oceania Territories, especially when its coming from our sneering "senior" neighbours surrounding us out here in Atlantian Oceania. Yes, that's right, you know I'm talking about, and you know what you've said, people of the world. Its always the same sort of thing:

"EUraN oCeAnIa TeRrItOrIeS more like euran colonial territories amirite?"
"Squatters!"
"Hi there, welcome to Standard Sports Newspaper Match Report, we're playing Eura's Overseas Puppet tonight. Have we read their roster? You're damn right we haven't!"
"...and now lining up for the Eurans, sorry, I mean, the Expats..."
"What on earth is a Timwise Gerduns?"
"Skorji Oslograd? More like Skorshite Oslofraud!"
"#BringBackMertagne"

We're not just "Eura B". We are a unit, a family, and dare I say it a nation rolled in to one. We have Eurans in our borders yes, but men and women of Mertagne too. We have Apoxians, Sunrisians, Samebans (who I suppose are Eurans now), Audioslavs, Nepharans, Brenecians, Endemians, Mytanars, the absolute breath of the fucking footballing rainbow. And our team has celebrated its members of these communities (or at least those who have played for us) throughout its short history.

Well, here's the thing: you can all absolutely do one. My Expats might not be the most fashionable team according to the nerds who spend their time thinking about things like "consistency" and "managing games". This is a team of warriors. They fight not even for the shirt or a flag, but for an ideal. The ideal of The Way! Its The Way that reminds them that no matter how supposedly illustrious their opponents are, they can always be beaten, as we have shown numerous times, and continue to show in Sean Patterick's dreams every night.

Our last game of qualifying is at home to Acastanha. Yes, I can't pronounce it either. It will be an opportunity for a few newer faces to get some gametime, but it will also be a fantastic chance for us to end on a bang by absolutely pumping these nobodies/challenging mediocrities/threatening favourites/overwhelming giants, as we do in every game, and will do in the future. Some people say the Territories are here to make up the numbers. I disagree. We are the numbers. And those numbers say...

...well to be honest, I don't really know. I didn't think that bit through. Fuck it, we're playing eight up front, and that's all you need to know. Until next time - Skorji out.

by **Ethane** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:36 pm

Guys, I bet you're feeling the pressure. It's not Freddie Mercury. No. But this is.

This is your cutoff for WCQ Matchday 18.

by **Banija** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:49 pm

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine #W2W4 in what is going to be one hell of a Final day... Banija's eyes will be particularly interested in the fates of three nations- Baker Park, Quebec, and Equestria.

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine The Quebecois are in second, and need at least one more point to secure a playoff spot... But probably 3. Unfortunately, they play Ko-oren, who has 45 points through 17 matchdays. Can George Wangolo and Kate Huitema-Omeasoo live up to their national team's nickname and be the Grim Reaper for the Blouman Empire's World Cup hopes?

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Banijan fans know very well we've never beaten Equestria. But a home win over Yuezhou for Omerica could sink Banija's archrivals and eliminate World Cup 83 winners Equestria from the Finals altogether. That'd be a great day, wouldn't it?

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine And Baker Park travels to Xanneria in a bid to keep their World Cup flame alive. They first qualified alongside Banija, at World Cup 80. The two allies and friends have been to each World Cup since, together. In fact, Baker Park has never missed the finals, playing in 7 straight tournaments. Will the interim world champions put down one of the most impressive active streaks in international football?

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine There are all sorts of exciting matches elsewhere in what is a stunning qualification campaign. Nephara, who has been to back to back World Cup Finals, is in danger of being relegated to the Cup of Harmony.. And both South Covello and Graentfjall will be looking to send them there. None of those 3 Group 9 contenders play each other, however, so be prepared to constantly switch screens!

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Group 17 is antoher fun one... Newmanistan, who is in 3rd, is tied with Tikariot for 2nd and VIlita in first. Tikariot has been everyone's darling so far, but the veteran nations in the group have caught up- does Tikariot have one last trick up its sleeve to punch their ticket to World Cup 87?

by **Trolleborg** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:54 pm

Greetings, compatriots! This is TTV, and we are happy to announce that our lads showed the decent level of play in the last two games, having won two very important victories. They do not guarantee the team a trip to the World Cup, but made it significantly more likely.

RED KELP – TROLLEBORG 2:4

The team started the game without much brilliance, and many, we must admit this, were afraid if the terrible game with Megistos affected the morale of the guys in the most depressing way.
But little by little our players began to warm up, and act more and more confidently. Red Kelp has proven to be an uncompromising team, but clearly lacking of international experience. Yes, this is the same problem that we ourselves faced after BoF.

In the first half, only one goal was scored, after the Levenkrands pass, Gulbranden soared into the air with his characteristic grace of a heavily loaded aircraft and make hit by his head, cleverly ferrying the ball into the far corner

As soon as the teams left the dressing rooms, the score became 0:2. In a not very dangerous situation, the home players dropped Pathmoor, the referee ordered a free kick and Troll put the ball from 30 meters from the goal line straight into the corner with a beautiful kick

The hosts, however, quickly reduced the score gap, for some reason our goalkeeper Gould was caught off guard by a shot from an acute angle, which seemed to be not promising any special problems

Fortunately, Red Kelp didn't get the time to build on its success. Almost immediately Kerr jumped into Finnsnes' pass from behind the defenders and accurately shot past the goalkeeper

The game then went on mainly in the center of the field, but our players were much closer to success. At the end of the match, the sides exchanged goals. At the 82nd minute, our goalkeeper was caught by surprise by a long-range shot, Gould moved awkwardly, suddenly slipped, and the ball flew past him straight into the net

Red Kelp rushed to grab the ball, but an accurate long-range pass followed, Kerr jumped one on one and threw the goalkeeper. Everyone, except our striker, decided that it was already a goal, and the ball hit the crossbar and flew into the field. And the team's top scorer make it all in the best possible way

Good victory, but questions about the team remaining.

MAND BLUSTOPIA – TROLLEBORG 1:5

This time our team did win not so hard. Again, apparently, the experience of international competitions affected how this game played, in many episodes it was clearly visible how the hosts' players were half a step late, and in several cases this was precisely what decided the fate of the contest this evening. However, we had to wait for a goal almost until the break. Kolding joined the attack, all the players around, both defenders and forwards, were waiting for a pass, and he suddenly shot at goal, the ball hit the defender and flew into the near corner

Yes, this goal was not scored without luck, but maybe it is a reward for the efforts and time spent in attack.

And in the second half it was already easier, the hosts seem to have suffered significantly from a conceded goal. At the 54th minute, Levenkrands burst into the penalty area, and, while faced an insurmountable barrier of opponents before him, then rolled the ball back to Finnsnes, and our midfielder either make a shot or tried to pass, but the ball ricocheted from the defender into the goal

Seven minutes later, Kerr raided along the line of the penalty area and, with four opponents in front of him, managed to deliver a great shot right into the corner

Opponents were able to take back one ball, when our defenders after a corner kick showed inconsistency and allowed to shoot at goal point blank

But then only our players scored. In the 77th minute, Kolding made a run into the penalty area, drew the attention of opponents to himself and moved ball to the center, Gulbranden could have shot himself, but preferred to give the ball to Levenkrands, who was in a more comfortable position, and he had made a precise shot at goal

And on the 87th, Kerr ran into the gap, passed the goalkeeper, but did not showing himself greedy and allowed Gulbranden, who was in a better position, to deliver a powerful shot into an already empty net

5:1, a confident victory, if we see only the score. And there is only one decisive match left.

These were two wonderful victories, but you can't relax, the team still needs to maintain its three-point advantage over Holy Empire. Experienced specialists and pundits predicted our team will be the second place, and given the difficulties experienced in some games of the tournament, it may not be so easy to stay at the head of the table. Perhaps this will be a good maturity test for our entire sport.

by **HUElavia** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 6:47 pm

HUElavia Secures 3rd, despite Upset Loss and Looming Questions!

Tioguldos 2–1 HUElavia
(REDACTED 40', 88' (P) | Savedra 61')

HUElavia entered Matchday 18 already eliminated, but with some things still on the table to be decided. Mainly, it was for 3rd Place, where a draw would guarantee the team would clinch the position that was the bare minimum for the team to reach. Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos were visiting Tioguldos looking to get a solid victory, much like the 7-2 thrashing they had on Matchday 9 in Takoroyama. A mix of all squads was playing, with Marin in goal once again, and the Away Uniform being used. The ball rolled and the final match of World Cup 87 Qualifiers was underway.

Tioguldos were not giving HUElavia a chance to run them over much like in the first leg of the qualifiers. Players like REDACTED and REDACTED were taking their shots, giving Marin a run for her money as she was scrambling to make saves left and right. The opening goal came in the 40th minute, when REDACTED crossed the ball into the box, only for REDACTED to tower over Di Donato and head the ball past Marin into the goal, making it 1-0. The crowd erupted and REDACTED was mobbed by their teammates while the HUElavians were frustrated. In the second half, HUElavia went on the attack and were putting pressure on Tioguldos. They would capitalize in the 61st minute, when a long ball from Colombres would reach Savedra, who juked passed REDACTED to chip the ball over REDACTED and into the goal to make it 1-1. Savedra celebrated with his teammates while the crowd was silenced for the goal. HUElavia then was playing calm since they knew the draw would be enough to secure 3rd Place. Despite what looked like a draw, in the 88th minute, REDACTED tried to get a shot through, but was knocked down by al-Ismail, which gave way for a yellow card and a penalty kick. REDACTED stepped up and took the shot, sending Marin to the wrong side and into the goal, making it 2-1. REDACTED was mobbed by their teammates and bench while the crowd celebrated with joy, all while the HUElavians were frustrated at the conceded goal. They tried a few last pushes, but fell short, as the referee blew her whistle and ended the match. HUElavia finishing the qualifiers just as they started it, with a loss.

At the end, thanks to other results in Group 1, HUElavia finished in 3rd Place with 32 Points, and a record of 10-2-6. Geektopia win the Group and their 1st ever World Cup appearance with 45 Points (14-3-1), and Recuecn advance to the Playoffs with 39 Points (12-3-3). Thanks to Fluvannia losing to Murphtannia, Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos clinched 3rd Place. Now, the team is expected to get their invitation to the Cup of Harmony, where the HFA is looking forward to receive and accept the invitation. They will also sit down with Coach Illaramendi and determine whether to keep with him for the Cup of Harmony or to Sack him, and bring back Rafael Salgado Lacerda, now aged 57 years old, the manager that brought HUElavia to their first ever World Cup in WC 84, as well as the manager that led the team in IAC 8 and 9 and brought on female players for the first time. There will also be questions as to who will be on the National Football Team for the coming year and tournaments, with a lot of players making a name for themselves. Here's to hoping things can look better in the coming months.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Mark Tolbert: "We're now into the last two minutes of regular time, and it is quite amazing how the emotions here have taken such a dramatic turn. There's Taborn on the ball and he is content to trade touches with Reynolds, who has been fantastic since coming on for Junior Ngoba. The ball comes off the Xannerian player and there's no hurry about taking the throw in."

Craig Snyder: "Twenty minutes ago, the supporters in Maroon were wondering if they this was going to be a famous day in National Team history, and famous day across Esportiva."
MT: "Wiseman has control on the right side 15 yards behind the halfway line and finds Grimaldi on a really low percentage ball across field. How many times have we been witness to this nation's best players click-on with the extra boost of energy and determination when the circumstance called for it?"

CS: "Enough that it shouldn't surprise us, but it always seems like it's the first time."
MT: "And now the additional time has been announced, 4 minutes...just as Bozeman draws a foul in the center of midfield. Taborn will play it slow, a sort of walking pace with Westmoreland as they play keep-away from the Xannerians.

CS: "Now you can hear the Baker Park end as they break into the traditional victory hymn..."
MT: "and here goes Westmoreland again, having made a ridiculous break...she's driving towards goal...Walters comes far off her line! [crescendo of noise as the BP player skips clear of the challenge and rolls the ball into the open net] She's done it again!"

{Shots of crowd reactions, players mobbing Westmoreland, with a couple of quick cuts to the dejection of the hosts, both players and crowd]

MT: "Five-three! The hat-trick that will seal the deal. The last 21 minutes should go into a time capsule so no one will ever forget Annabeth Westmoreland is one of the very best players this country has ever produced."
CS: "When the spotlight shines brightest, when occasion is the biggest, she transcends the sport."

{From the ensuing kickoff, she rounds out her night by earning a yellow card for a professional foul to waste a few more seconds.}
MT: "And she'd like to remind you she's not just a pretty face who only cares about having the ball."
CS: "It's an underrated aspect of her game in the national team system that she can swap roles with Taborn or Sotolongo and play the ball winning, pressing, tackling, marking role."

MT: "Ms. Figueroa from New Lusitania glances at her watch. That's the final whistle! A remarkable comeback from a goal down after 67 minutes, Annabeth Westmoreland with a captain's performance, three goals in twenty...two minutes they now say officially. Congratulations to Vdara who will make their first ever trip to the World Cup Finals as the deserving winners of Group 4, but Baker Park will live to fight on for at least two more days. They will probably be one of the top seeded teams in the playoff draw, and they have regained their "extra prize", the unofficial Undisputed World Championship. Once again, we always seem to bring amazing scenes to our viewers, David Blake, and we are honored to share them. So for Craig Snyder, I'm Mark Tolbert from the XannAir Stadium in Dominica City, it finishes Xanneria 3, Commonwealth of Baker Park, 5."

David Blake: (looks at both men in the studio next to him and nods his head with a wry smile before picking up the intro) "Mark, Craig. Thank you. So, we've come to the day of reckoning we always knew would show up."
Aiden Donnan: 'You're a cruel master, David Blake, but I think we must give you your due."
Gary Kostka: "We've become the nation that demands no margin for error, and treats a loss as a failing. Yes, we've talked about here--on & off air--since the BOF."
DB: "How have we come to a thinking in this country that winning 13 of 18 contests is underachievement? Nephara's manager who has led them in the last two World Cup title matches quits because she's unable to arrest the slide which is amplified in the media, and yes they finally clawed their way to the top spot tonight, but was it a product of cosmetic change on the bench, or was it because their world class stars figured out the problems?"

AD: "We're at crossroads right now, aren't we? It's probably time to accelerate an overhaul of the pool, even it means phasing out AB, Bozeman, Simmons, Jones."

DB: "Hold on to that thought Ady, we'll come back to it after the break. More here on CBC Soccer Night, Baker Park have earned a place in the playoffs with a 5-3 win over Xanneria, and we'll be back to recap all the action."

by **Quemorr Isles** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 11:14 pm

THIS IS A SIMULATION. THIS IS NOT REAL.

Matchday 18

Group A
Damukuni 1–0 Riena
Filindostan 0–0 Vangaziland
Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom 2–3 South Covello
Sylestone 1–1 Hampton Island
Newmanistan 5–2 Bongo Johnson

Group A                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Newmanistan                    18   13   1   4    41   22  +19    40
 2 South Covello                  18    9   6   3    31   18  +13    33
 3 Riena                          18    8   6   4    16   11   +5    30
 4 Hampton Island                 18    7   5   6    19   20   −1    26
 5 Sylestone                      18    6   6   6    35   33   +2    24
 6 Filindostan                    18    5   9   4    19   19    0    24
 7 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom      18    6   5   7    28   28    0    23
 8 Damukuni                       18    6   4   8    27   26   +1    22
 9 Vangaziland                    18    3   6   9    13   26  −13    15
10 Bongo Johnson                  18    2   2  14    20   46  −26     8

Group B
Tumbra 1–1 Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison
The Grearish Union 0–1 South Newlandia
Vdara 0–1 Lisander
Ancherion 0–2 Brenecia
Natanians and Nosts 2–1 Xanneria

Group B                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brenecia                            18   11   4   3    50   27  +23    37
 2 South Newlandia                     18    9   6   3    29   21   +8    33
 3 Vdara                               18   10   2   6    31   17  +14    32
 4 Xanneria                            18   10   1   7    43   33  +10    31
 5 Ancherion                           18   10   1   7    30   28   +2    31
 6 Lisander                            18    9   2   7    27   26   +1    29
 7 Natanians and Nosts                 18    5   6   7    23   30   −7    21
 8 The Grearish Union                  18    5   4   9    35   39   −4    19
 9 Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison      18    4   3  11    23   37  −14    15
10 Tumbra                              18    1   3  14    18   51  −33     6

Newmanistan, South Covello, Brenecia and South Newlandia have all qualified for the World Cup!

by **Tequilo** » Sun Jan 31, 2021 12:54 am

SHAKEMUPP & SCAPEGOAT
All Change At The Unión

Part 1 - in which the Presidente of Tequilo apportions consequences for systemic failures at the FA.
Part 2 - in which Ooóoos Skueri attends an interview and gets the top job.
Part 3 - in which Ooóoos Skueri delegates the City of Football project to Carolina Ruiz.

Part 4/4: August Toset

On his first day in the job as Director of the National Team, Ooóoos Skueri, former Audioslav international, regular hero at intercontinental club giants Raynor City United and current superhero of Tequilo where they think he is - literally - a god, or at the very least a magical wight, settled into his office, including a trip downtown to the famous PBSP Gallery in Socrates, to pick up a nice fractal painting for the office wall - a Maurits van Huys original, no less - and his own mug for the staff cafeteria. Back at the office, Señors Shakemupp and Scapegoat were waiting to help hang the van Huys, imported from Zwangzug. They had some advice too. They’d really rather prefer it if, for public appearances, he kept his wrestling mask on. It was something of a signature, they said. It conveyed gravitas, they said.

On his second day, his company car, a metallic teal-coloured Tachyon Supersport, was ready for collection from the dealership. As it was only a two seater, he spent much of the day giving Señors Shakemupp and Scapegoat - and one or two other Blazers from the Unión - individual drives around the downtown district and out on to the Tonorobos Rápido to see how the thing could really fly. In the late afternoon, on the advice of the two immaculately presented narrative agents, he called up national team head coach Isaac Martí, who told him he had already posted his resignation and was taking up a position at Real Gardaresso. He then called Ramiro Paredo, who had just won Liga-TQ with SC Pedregal, and offered him the job. After this he sharpened some pencils and drove the block-and-a-half home to his new Socrates apartment.

On his third day, Señors Shakemupp & Scapegoat brought a large whiteboard to his office, divided with football pitch markings, along with some coloured pens, some magnetic chips, a long ruler and a calculator. “Tactics day!” said Señor Shakemupp - or was it Scapegoat?

“I’m sorry,” said Ooóoos, “I really wasn’t expecting to manage a strategic tactical design project - it’s not something I’ve done before. Are you quite sure I should be here?”

Are you still looking for a director? Because I have someone to fill up the spot.

Meet August Toset, first ever Juvencus national team coach and Cup of Harmony champion and runner up in different version. A man of sheer determination and ambition he won't hesitate to pull up the hard task of helping Tequilo to assert dominance over other teams. His presence is so well-ingrained in the teams he steps in that his absence is most certainly felt, a side such as Tequilo would need a leadership figure such as his to reach the highest possible heights it can reach.

His experience is, as previously stated, a cup of harmony victory and a runner up finish, and a rapidly high rising side that reached the top 32 from being 230th in the world in just 4 editions. His tactics are mostly extremely offensively minded mostly looking towards high pressure and a fiery counter-attack, however he is flexible and could easily park the bus or use more possession-focused gameplay should the team be more comfortable with that.

August had just renewed his reservation at the Grand Polarian Hotel in downtown Socrates, and was on the balcony admiring the view up Camino Recto toward Plaza Pitxi whilst simultaneously complaining to his wife over the phone, back home in Pomena, Juvencus, about the disorganisation in this bedevilled country. Practically offered the job of the National Team Director at the end of a good interview, he was told to go back to the hotel to await confirmation. But it never came. Instead, he saw a news announcement on the television that a ridiculous man in a mask had been appointed to the role. He had booked the next flight home, checked out of the Grand Polarian, gone to the airport, and attempted to board his plane. But the computer system had apparently lost his visa entry. They wouldn’t let him go. He had to return to the hotel ‘for a few days’ while they ‘looked into the matter’.

“This is ridiculous,” he said to Mrs. Toset.

At this point there was a knock on the door. “You watch,” he told her, before hanging up, “now they’ll be telling me my credit card is declined.”

It was the man in the mask from the television report, with two dapper gentlemen. “May we?” said one of them, with a deadly smile.

“We’ll cut to the chase,” said the other, cutting to the chase abruptly, “we’d like to offer you the role of Assistant Director to the National Team, under Señor Ooóoos here, with a 33% uplift on the advertised salary and a share in the Tachyon sports car which you can drive on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend. You get to design the strategic tactical plan for Tequiloan national football - we even have a whiteboard for you. How about it?”

“I’ll ring Mrs. Toset,” said August.

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - World Cup qualification moves toward the crunch - but Tequilo is already out! Version 87 is going to be one of the most storied in history… and we've got your back for all the latest in the biggest and best competition in the multiverse: let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. All this week: Track & Trace… whatever happened to The Class of 72? Rúi de Las Rovas… season three of the famous old comic book strip rebooted. Logistics Report... how to manage a touring football team without picking up any weird viral infections; and of course, we have mail! You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spamcatcher@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹ But first, El Copametro… how are Los Pitxileros making out in the qualification campaign trail?

SIGNING OFF IN STYLE

TEQUILO 7-2 HEBITAKA HT: 1-0

Location: @ El Volcán, Tapalupé, Ocotapa
Attendance: 53,523
Scorers: Niño Pinto 8' 52' Huracan 48' Tlacolotl 56' 63' Ricardo Bailén 86' Xaime Medal 87' Assists: Alexandro Calvoecheaga 8' Xaime Medal 48' Tlacolotl 52' 86' Niño Pinto 63'
Booked: Antton Machinena, Huracan (1 match ban) | Khyties#4, 8, 16
Injured: Alexandro Calvoecheaga (severity 2/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Tepin Mecatl-Rubió | Blêxu (sub: Patrick Zambo), Antton Machinena, Huracan, José Tavia | Lorenzo Pero | Xaime Medal (VC), Niño Pinto (sub: Hector Hurtado), Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl (C), Alexandro Calvoecheaga (sub: Roxelio Toran)
Player of the Match: Niño Pinto (Tequilo)

TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY

Competition goals: Tlacolotl (13) Çenturion, Ricardo Bailén (6) Ecuador (4) Huracan, Vilca Hualla, Isidoro Artechevarria (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Roxelio Toran, Xaime Medal, Niño Pinto (2) Eolo Sorazar, José Tavia, Huachalla, Aleixo Claver, Tutayan, Turbolito (1)

Competition assists: Tlacolotl (7) Çenturion, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (6) Ecuador (3) Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén (2) Ixtub Tün, Huracan, Aleixo Claver, Roxelio Toran, Huachalla, Tutayan, José Tavia, Antton Machinena, Blêxu, Xaime Medal (1)

Competition PoMs: Tlacolotl (4) Eolo Sorazar (3) Çenturion (2) Huachalla, Blêxu, Huracan, Antton Machinena, Tutayan, Urbano Noboa, Ricardo Bailén, Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Niño Pinto (1)

Competition cards: Roxelio Toran, Patrick Zambo (1 red card) Ecuador (2 yellows, 1 red) Ixtub Tün, Çenturion (4 yellows) Vilca Hualla, Huachalla, Blêxu, Huracan, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (3 yellows) Noxochinoch, Antton Machinena, Isidoro Artechevarria (2 yellows) Tol Chicote, Ricardo Bailén, Jatsu Cañaverri, Niño Pinto, Jaïr Iscla, Emmanuel París, Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona, Aleixo Claver, Kai Sidiki, Eolo Sorazar (1 yellow)

Lepe Pitxi Prize
Best Player in qualifying: Tlacolotl

Esâ Neá Medal
Best Young Player in qualifying: Çenturion

RÚI DE LOS ROVAS
The famous cartoon strip from a fantasy football world - season 3

Read on for the sixth instalment of this season’s Rúi de los Rovas, the comic strip story of legendary ‘Blackburn Rovers’ striker Rúi Raza, now 144 and running a football agency from a tax haven called Switzerland, where his nearest neighbour in Infantino Towers are ‘der Fifa’, an international organised crime syndicate who keep getting raided but never seem to have anything stick. In this episode, there are more problems caused by the deadly global pandemic, the Corona Beer Virus, as client clubs who are operating without any fans watching begin to reduce their transfer activity to save money - a crisis for the Raza Agency. Meanwhile Rúi’s son Rocky, recently escaped from being kidnapped by a fallen orange-coloured dictator in Florida, and still recovering from being shot by Russian oligarch Vlad ‘The Inhaler’ Putin, is helicoptered to the family hospital in the British Virgin Islands when he tests positive for the deadly virus, whilst protesting he never even had a test. Despicable prankster Donny The Dictator, the Florida Orangeman, has in fact submitted a fake test taken from the gullet of Great White Pelican.

With so little business going on, great-granddaughter Rita Raza has turned to the easiest source of half decent footballers that are always available, and that is at Premier League feeder club Southampton where striker Danny Ings wants another go at being a flop at a proper club.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The things that are really belabouring your hawks right now

Good morning everyone. We have letters!

Furioso de Tacranza doesn’t wish to speak for everyone when he shouts: “I don’t wish to speak for everyone but I am FURIOUS about how qualification panned out - Los Pitxileros looked utterly hopeless at home... until it didn't matter any more. I was desperately hoping for a holiday in Taeshan."

That was a common theme in the letters bag this morning, proving that in some way, Furioso does speak for us all today. Meanwhile Sansón of Florenio may have an answer to Los Pitxileros’ World Cup qualification woes. He tells us: “Make videos to win competitions. Put them on TuTúbo. You know, like the Audioslavs and the Starblaydis. For example documentary series covering pages 299-301 of the NS Sports Forum in minute detail, with a special look at how to spell Laege, luege or hwoever u spell it [now sadly deleted - Ed.]”

It is a good point, Sansón, and we look forward to more ideas to put to the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!! VIDEO production team. Meanwhile, the Cup of Harmony ‘more eggs versus better eggs’ debate (“Ivor may mock” - Llàzaro Baró, Monday’s letters) has sparked an avalanche of egg-based responses, ranging from Zeferí Desanrom of Gardaresso - “the more eggs, the better, I say,” to regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor finally submitting to the nonsense of the letters page with: “the hell with it then, if you want to talk about eggs, I want just a few fresh ones from chickens that lay regularly and can be relied upon to keep popping them out.”

And of course regular provocateur ‘Orejas Grandes’ couldn’t let it pass without throwing a curveball - “surely we should take account of the size of the eggs, too. I mean, no-one is going to dine out on a hard-boiled Trigel’s quail egg, even a dozen of them; but on the other hand, you’re bound to get bound by attempting even a single jupiter-sized Quebegg. Personally I’d always go for a moderate couple of hard-boiled Nephari cormorant eggs with a little celery salt - easily digestible with a complex flavour.”

With regular correspondent Rùben Curto preoccupied with his fresh eggs, he might not notice his previous letter (“Did Valanora quit the World Cup?” - Monday’s letters) has been answered by eagle-eyed World Cup follower and Moto ultra Dolores de Silva, of Dolores, who observes: “Yes. For twenty minutes until Hawksy had cooled down a bit.”

Are you two talking in code? I have no idea what you are both going on about.

Finally, after hearing from missing goalkeeper García de Corcoles for the first time in six years via text message (“this bastard Ao-centric world” - yesterday’s text messages), regular García-spotter Norm. de Plume, of Plume, Antivador, raises the alarm: “I have thought about this a lot, and I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I should at least raise an alarm… I think García has joined an international terrorist cell and is planning to do something despicable to coincide with publications of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!! Extra during the Cup of Harmony, when he knows you will be looking for material.”

Erm, thank you Norm. for that helpful spoiler.

If you have spotted García, want to disagree with our correspondents or just like to share your opinion on the pitxi, please drop us a line at Letters To The Editor, spamcatcher@gola.teq or slowmail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé.¹.

NEXT UP
What's coming next with GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!!

The GOLa DAILY team will have a week or two off now after all their hard work through this somewhat disappointing qualification campaign, but the squirrels on the EXTRA desk are still, umm, squirrelling away as they prepare to bring you another brace of exclusives - García de Corcoles has finally been tracked down and we'll be seeing what he's up to nowadays, whilst out in the cloudforests of Guastenango state, a new Shambolic Cult is on the rise, and we hear they have a young footballer whom his mother claims to be the stuff of an immaculate conception. We'll see you soon when hopefully Los Pitxileros will be back for a place in the Cup of Harmony. Could it really end up being held in Cassadaigua? Gulp.

[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

by **TJUN-ia** » Sun Jan 31, 2021 10:23 am

By Peter Davis

After an interesting draw and another win, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia finally entered their final match with nothing else yet to prove. The best campaign David Seems and his team have produced by far, the 12-win Jags were looking to make it 13 against 3rd-placed Acronius in Defense and the Atlas Arena. TJUN-ia had already secured a Top 2 spot in this group but with a slight possibility to make the WC as one of 3 best runners-up in this WC, this final game wasn't one we could simply relax to.

In the end, this game wouldn't matter at all - but we still had a fun time in Defense. The first half was a cagey affair between two teams who may be still battling for 2nd if the home team's match-up with Central Shaneville had gone a different way. Both teams would find the net in the final first half, TJUN-ia stinking first through Kepo Ulawaya in the 21st before Loïc Taubira hit back for the hosts in the 34th. The second half would be better for the visitors for sure, as they put in an epic performance against the nearest competitors - Archer Andrews getting a brace via the 67th and 87th minutes of this final contest.

So, playoffs it is - but you have to recognise how far we have come from two years ago. In WC86, TJUN-ia dropped points in half their games as they drew on the final day to secure playoff football over opponents Tikariot. In WC87, TJUN-ia dropped points in only 5 games and were 9 points clear of 2nd by the time MD18 arrived. TJUN-ia went from losing 5 games to not-winning 5 games in the space of 2 years - a clear sign that the "Draw Masters" may not be as reliant on the draw than tournaments past. But if the TJUN-ia of WCQ has evolved in these 2 years, then our playoff position certainly has. It won't be a 36th ranked Chromtika coming to TJUN-ia City first - instead, we must travel to the runners up of Group 19. Yes, we're taking on Gavin Hughes' Goldhorns of Siovanija and Teusland, the 22nd ranked team in the WCC, and we must host them in the 2nd leg. This one should be very fascinating for both nations, especially for a TJUN-ia who finds itself 2 games away from the big time for the 2nd WC in a row. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group 3) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: vs Busoga Islands (79) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-3 (T-9th)
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MD2: @Hispinas (315) W 5-1 (7th)
MD3: vs Nacaltora (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 4-0 (4th)
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MD4: @Central Shaneville (UR) - Red Bull Arena, Shaneville City W 3-1 (3rd)
MD5: vs Cassadaigua (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-2 (4th)
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MD6: @Flavovespia (41) - Highland Road, Hadford Hill W 1-0 (3rd)
MD7: vs Muralos (259) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-4 (2nd)
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MD8: @Havynwilde (126) - Uvenstadion Superparc, Iyes D 1-1 (3rd)
MD9: vs Acronius (100) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 3-2 (2nd/6W-1D-2L/19pts/+9GD)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD10: @Busoga Islands (79) - The Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, North Island W 2-1 (2nd)
MD11: vs Hispinas (315) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 2-0 (2nd)
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MD12: @Nacaltora (UR) W 3-1 (2nd)
MD13: vs Central Shaneville (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 4-3 (2nd)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD14: @Cassadaigua (4) - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights L 1-2 (2nd)
MD15: vs Flavovespia (41) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 4-3 (2nd)
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MD16: @Muralos (259) - Komcatt Arena, Urbego (?) D 2-2 (2nd)
MD17: vs Havynwilde (126) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 1-0 (2nd)/SECURED PLAYOFF SPOT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD18: @Acronius (100) - Atlas Arena, Defense W 3-1 (2nd/13W-2D-3L/41pts/+18GD)

PLAYOFF - vs Siovanija and Teusland (22)
1st Leg (?):
2nd Leg (National Stadium, TJUN-ia City):

by **Bluecliff** » Sun Jan 31, 2021 12:02 pm

HERE'S HOW BLUECLIFF CAN STILL WIN

With eighteen out of eighteen matches gone in World Cup qualification, the qualifying phase of the competition completely over save for the playoffs, and Bluecliff League being roundly eliminated both mathematically and functionally for multiple matchdays, things are looking bleak for the Bluecliff League's qualification prospects.

But Bedvir Makdevân's men aren't quite cooked yet. While anyone following the 8th-placed Bluecliff team will admit that, twenty-two points down with zero games to play, qualification is improbable, a number of factors mean that foreign pundits and local media alike shouldn't be quite so quick to count the Fourteen Free Cities out just yet.

1 - BLUECLIFF ARE ON FORM

The second half of the qualification campaign was grim. No beating around the bush there. With fifteen points in the first half and just five from the return fixtures, the collapse of the team seemed complete three long matchdays ago, when The Gothanita Isles put the final nail in Bluecliff's coffin with a 1-0 victory that finally mathematically eliminated the Baptism of Fire Runners-up.

With all the games over, however, Bluecliff League are guaranteed not to lose anything more this campaign. That means no chance of getting banged up against Hampton Island again, no more one-nil wins for the Pasargans, and no points dropped to nil-nil draws against U-Koro. In fact, it is impossible for Bluecliff to drop any more points. This fact has been overlooked in many analyses of the playoff picture, and those who think that playoff fixtures are "set and scheduled" or "coming up" would do well to remember it.

2 - PAPERWORK ISSUES

Are you really going to sit there and proclaim that you have a robust knowledge of every single form that every member of a world cup squad needs to complete to participate in qualifying, much less the cup proper? Only the Bluecliffian bureaucracy can handle the heaps of complementary and contradictory paperwork that comes with registration and participation in the cup.

The possibility always exists that the Tumbrans forgot to cross a t or curl a q somewhere, or that South Newlandia gets outlawed in the coming days. Should one of their groupmates be forced to retroactively forfeit matches against Bluecliff League, we could find ourselves in a very different situation.

3 - MAKARA KEHO

Anyone who is mentioned so damn often must have some sort of trickery up his sleeve. The guy can't seriously have no clue, can he?

Go Bluecliff! It ain't over til it's over.

by **Sargossa** » Sun Jan 31, 2021 3:47 pm

It was a beautiful day. The sun was out. The air was pure, if a little thin. The peak of the mighty Nido De Águila, the roof of this part of the world, disappearing into the clouds. The city of Torreón was a popular destination for tourists, both domestic and foreign. It’s stunning vistas, coupled with the beautifully preserved old town and the nearby ancient ruins is a real filet for Rushmoris planning a holiday. The two hundred year old Cusco Market is a vibrant burst of local colour and tradition. The similarly aged University of Torreón is Sargossa’s oldest and most prestigious centre of higher education. And the historic Hotel Blanca, the accommodation of choice for the great and good of Sargossan society when they sought out the fresh mountain air, all feature along the city’s tourist trail. But there’s another venue nestled in the mountain fastness that is no stranger to visitors.

El Torrigal lays at the centre of a muddle of narrow streets (parking is a bitch but that’s not really in the spirit of things) at the edge of the University District. Local side Estrella Torreón call the stadium home and are renowned in the SuperLiga for their giant killing tradition. The altitude of the city proving a significant leveller. Perhaps unsurprisingly the national side have a formidable record when they play in Torreón. In fourteen previous fixtures no nation has defeated the Corsairs and only two have managed to escape the Incan city with a point. It has raised semi-serious calls for El Torrigal to become the de facto national stadium, at the expense of the giant arenas in Soluca, Goza and Jucaro. It might not be such a bad idea.

Because once again the opposition were wilting in the Incan altitude. Critical Operations were the visitors, and represented one of the stupider national monikers in the current annuls of world football. The only thing critical about them was their standing in the Group 8 standings. In fact it had gone beyond critical. It had flatlined. Fifteen defeats in seventeen games will do that to a nation’s World Cup chances. Game eighteen duly brought defeat number sixteen. An early angled drive from Alonzo Bienvenida set the tone, before a Mauricio Sainz header and a close range finish from Diego Cazalla either side of the interval ensured a victorious end to the campaign for the Corsairs.

But a pretty sobering campaign it had been. Audioslavia had predictably proven to be beyond the rest of the group but a trio of talented squads from Huayramarca, Northwest Kalactin and Mytanija had left older campaigners Sargossa and Damukuni in the dust. An overreliance on the final group of thirty-somethings who formed part of then national team boss Rodrigo Defederico’s World Cup regulars seems to have finally backfired. Coach Brian McAllister will now tackle the challenge of freshening up his side ahead of the Copa Rushmori. A bigger problem for the Tikariotian tactician though is the chronically leaky Sargossan defence. No team in Group 8 scored more than the Corsairs but forty goals conceded in eighteen fixtures is a damning statistic. In comparison top seeds Audioslavia let in half that total, while Rock bottom Critical Operations conceded forty one. It’s no small order but if McAllister didn’t enjoy a challenge he’d probably be in a different vocation.

World Cup 87 - RP Thread

Expired, Episode 6

WC-87q RP#11 post-MD18

Boot It!: Muralos May Have Costed Us Dearly!

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