Cup of Harmony 77 - everything thread

[Omerica]

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A Blog Editorial: The Independent Associations Identity Crisis
By Christine Halleran

The logo of an organisation that doesn’t know whether it wants to be associated with the IAC or not

As a West Squornshelan pundit put it, “the randos of sport multiverse have never been better organised.” We distinctly and vehemently disagree: we have no unified identity and no unified purpose. We are a mess and it’s a complete disgrace.

Putting aside the so-called “Federation of Independent Football”—a walking shell of contradictions and superfluity in and of itself—, the Independent Associations Championship doesn’t even seem to have a unified identity itself, what with the Huelavian organising committee creating an entirely new name for this trainwreck of a competition: the “Independent Associations Cup”. Now we’ve heard of the “Independents Cup”, but this takes the cake. If we wanted a shorthand name for the Championship, we could simply call it the “IAC”—and we regularly do here at the blog, as do Omerican broadcasters—but this plethora of names gives off (at least to us) the distinct impression that the Independent Associations are rudderless. If an outsider were to take a look at the Independent Associations, they would be justified in calling us divided and disorganised.

The Rushmoris have their own distinct brand: the Copa Rushmori logo is an elegant classic, from which the Copa de Campeones—note the linguistic unity, here—is beautifully derived. The AOCAF Cup, despite being commonly and erroneously referred as simply “AOCAF”, and AO Champions League have an admirable graphical unity and identity that has been enduring. Esportiva may not have default brands for its national team Campionato, but at least their club competition is at least not christened in a completely different language.

The club tournament organisers had a great brand identity to work off of and they blew it. They happily took the font and colours, but abandoned the lingua franca of the football multiverse in favour of a small, provincial language, inadvertently managing to confuse Anglophone Omerica and offend all of Romanique in one fell swoop—even managing the nigh-impossible task of uniting AS Républicains and Malavan Romainbourg supporters in disgust. Branding themselves the “Federation of Independent Football”—at least as far as their initials are concerned—, they managed to convince everyone in the United Republican Soccer Federation’s front office that they’d taken over organisation of the Independent Associations Championship.

Cue the embarrassment when the URSF found out that they only run club competitions and “don’t want to step on the IAC-OC’s toes.” You know, it would’ve been nice to give a better indication of that in your name, mates.

Sure, the idea of a rose logo is beautiful and we’re not going to fault that (quite the opposite, in fact), but is some linguistic consistency too much to ask for? If the IAC had been branded “o Campeonato das Associações Independentes” at the start instead of the “Independent Associations Championship”, we’d be inclined to forgive the Lusophony, but that’s not the timeline we live in. The “FFI” are happy to ape bits and pieces of the IAC’s identity, but aren’t willing to commit fully to it. Better to be vague and inconsistent than unified.

The Independent Associations need one identity and one purpose. So far, we have multiple of one and none of the other. It seems that the only thing which unites the teams that compete in the IAC is a distinct revulsion of the “Big Three”, rather than any kind of shared values—and their identity crisis is just a reflection of that.

“We want to be part of a community with a purpose,” URSF President Casimir Paquet said in an unusual statement for his usually ceremonial role. “We want to be part of a community that shares a unique identity and a unified direction. We are proud to be former Independent Associations champions, but the Independent Associations are not providing that kind of community and if we can’t get it here, we may very well have to go somewhere else.”

This is a complete and utter mess. We cannot ascertain what direction the Independent Associations want to go in and, by the looks of it, neither can the Independent Associations writ large. We have an identity crisis on our hands and we need to snap out of it ASAP. ◇

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Other Football News:
• CoH 77: What match were the Trolleborgians even watching? Because it certainly wasn’t their game against Omerica
• CoH 77: Incorrigibles put one foot into the last thirty-two with a shock SRS defeat and comfortable win over Trolleborg
• OPSL Gold Division: Malavan sit five points back of Republicans at the top, with five times fighting against the drop

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Uniting Omerican sport fans across the United Republics — blogdefootball: a proud member of the Gryphon Pride network

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Trolleborg 0–1 Omerica
Cup of Harmony 77 group stage — Matchday Three
Palloci Pagoda Park, Bangkok (FTC), Zwangzug
Goalscorers: (none); Alexis Chrysanthos ?’
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Rowan Greycastle; Fernand Michelakakis – Noah Clement – Justin Thyme – Jet Sneyders; Red Bolton (captain) – Soraya Archambault – Thom Magalhães; Jessie Beckett – Alexis Chrysanthos – George Palmeiro

Omerica v Twicetagria
Cup of Harmony 77 group stage — Matchday Five
Palloci Pagoda Park, Bangkok (FTC), Zwangzug
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): (to be announced)

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[Kohnhead]

The Brains show up in a 5-2 win



Taking on Eastfield Lodge in a battle for second in the group at Millenium Park, stakes were high for the brains. Eastfield Lodge are ranked 74th in the World compared to our 102nd. I was expecting a close game but in reality The Brains dominated for 90 straight minutes led by the midfield trio of Rallyton, Laker, and Cogginter having their best game together.

The game actually started with our opponents from Eastfield Lodge, getting an early goal. This happened in the ninth minute as Atkinson tried to clear a ball and it was picked up by Graziana Din who passed it on up to Kaha Jewell. Jewell got passed Callie Porsha and buried the shot past Newcastle to put our opponents up 1 goal to 0.

Kohnhead quickly responded in the 16th minute. Ida Cogginter scored her first goal since her first injury which occurred in the BOF. Cogginter put in a long distance strike which had just enough curl on it to go into the upper net. The assist was given to Linus Rallyton.

Kohnhead would score again just three minutes later as this was Aaron Korkson off of a brilliant pass from Cogginter scored. Just like that, The Brains had turned a goal deficit into a one goal lead and had all the momentum in the world. The momentum would propel them to a 3-1 lead just before halftime as Erin Maltos got a goal, off of a Horsford assist. Hannah Horsford had come up on the attack and passed it up to Maltos who showed off her shot with a brilliant strike into the upper net that Couch had no chance of getting.

Eastfield Lodge tried to get back into the game with a goal in the 53rd minute from Foley as Newcastle probably could have saved it but seemed to slip before diving for it. The seemingly large 3-1 lead was now just a one goal game with plenty of time to play. Fortunately for Kohnhead, Charles Laker would get his first goal of the tournament off of a Rallyton corner. He chested the ball down to his left foot and fired the ball toward the bottom corner where it bounced in giving Kohnhead the 4-2 lead.

In the 85th minute with Eastfield Lodge going in all out attack, Harry Richman got a goal off of the bench as he was in for Maltos. Richman stole the ball from a defender and because of the all out attack had an easy goal to give Kohnhead their fifth goal of the game and a 5-2 win.

With the win Kohnhead will tie Flavovespia at the top of the standings with six points a piece, both having only played two games.

Group 5                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Flavovespia                 2   2  0  0    6   1  +5    6
2 Kohnhead                    2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6
3 Eastfield Lodge             3   1  0  2    5   9  −4    3
4 Alba and Cymru              2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1
5 New Lusitania               3   0  1  2    0   3  −3    1

In The Brains next fixture they will play fourth place Alba & Cymru in what will be a game they should win to advance. The game will take place at the Waterfront dome in Kirkenes. The Brains by getting these two wins have put themselves in a very good position to advance but there is still work to be done. Here is the lineup, same one we've had the entire tournament.

[Zwangzug]

Cutoff for Zwangzug MD4.

[Alba and Cymru]

ԬԬԬ The Celtic Times ԬԬԬ
Bringing a Light to a World in the Dark

June 27, 2020 Edition

Alba and Cymru Gains 1 Point, Remains Scoreless
Arvika, Kelssek

A new worrying trend is taking shape in Kelssek as the national football team of Alba and Cymru leaves a scoreless match against New Lusitania in Community Stadium. With two games into the one-fold round-robin of 5 teams, the Celtic offense has produced absolutely no goals. Even though Alba and Cymru's defense looked spot-on today, allowing very few chances for the Lusitanians to score and denying all shots, strikers Conchúr MacGregor and Not Lionel Messi and later Seumas Colquhoun could not muster a goal in return.

Alba and Cymru had several opportunities to score throughout the match. In the 20th minute after kickoff, Conchúr MacGregor weaved past the Lusitanian defenders quickly with the ball. As he approached the penalty area, the Lusitanian defense collapsed onto MacGregor in order to prevent a shot, opening the space for Not Lionel Messi to receive a pass and have an open lane to the goal. However, goalkeeper Rui Patríce was quick on his feet, deflecting a picture-perfect shot from Not Messi to keep the scoreboard clean. Many other opportunities were seen thtoughout the match, all ending with no gains in scoring. The stadium, just as was the football match, was unnervingly quiet.

"It's frustrating," said team captain Conchúr MacGregor. "It's frustrating that we've spent our lives living up to the fullest potential of what we could do in this sport in order to get these results. Nonetheless, a draw is much better than a loss, especially against a high-ranked program like New Lusitania. A win is needed at this point, though, and if we can't produce two in these last two matches, we're done for."

"All is quiet on the front," replied striker Seumas Colquhoun, "but fans don't want to watch a quiet match. Defense wins games, that's true, but offense still needs to uphold its end of the bargain. Any team can win a 1-0 match, but in order to do so they must score. The offense needs to stop slacking."

Alba and Cymru will travel to Kirkenes to battle against evenly-matched Kohnhead, who has made an extraordinary run so far in the Cup of Harmony. New Lusitania may be out of a Cup of Harmony berth, but they have a chance to upend Flavovespia in their next match.

Game stats for New Lusitania and the Algarves (0-1-2):

Group rank: 5th
Shots: 8
Goals: 0
Possession: 42'
Saves: 9
Fouls: 7
Yellow: 1 (Bruno Fernando, 62')
Red: 0
No notable injuries

Game stats for Alba and Cymru (0-1-1):

Group rank: 4th
Shots: 9
Goals: 0
Possession: 48'
Saves: 8
Fouls: 6
Yellow: 1 (Diarmuid MacNab, 71')
Red: 0
No notable injuries

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Schedule

MD1 - BYE
MD2 - Flavovespia (66) (2-0-0) @ Macquarie Docklands | Result: L (Alba and Cymru 0-2 Flavovespia)
MD3 - New Lusitania (40) (0-1-2) @ Community Stadium | Result: D (New Lusitania 0-0 Alba and Cymru)
MD4 - Kohnhead (102) (2-0-0) @ Waterfront Dome | Result: # (Alba and Cymru #-# Kohnhead)
MD5 - Eastfield Lodge (74) (1-0-2) @ Griffin Park | Result: # (Eastfield Lodge #-# Alba and Cymru)
R/32 - TBD

[Zwangzug]

I haven't factored in tiebreakers so it's possible there may be more qualified/eliminated teams than listed here, this is just the "obvious" points total stuff.

Group 7
Huayramarca 2–2 Poafmersia
Astograth 3–2 Torisakia

* Group 7                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Astograth                             3   2  1  0    4   2  +2    7 Q
2 Poafmersia                            3   1  2  0    7   6  +1    5
3 Huayramarca                           3   0  3  0    6   6   0    3
4 Port Ember                            3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3
5 Torisakia                             4   0  2  2    9  11  −2    2 E

Group 8
Riena 5–1 Cheergirls
Jeckland 1–2 Balqia

* Group 8                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Darmen                                3   3  0  0    6   3  +3    9 Q
2 Riena                                 3   2  1  0    7   1  +6    7
3 Balqia                                4   1  1  2    2   3  −1    4
4 Cheergirls                            3   1  0  2    2   6  −4    3
5 Jeckland                              3   0  0  3    4   8  −4    0 E

Group 9
Twicetagria 0–3 Trolleborg
Squornshelan Remnant States 2–3 Baggieland

* Group 9                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                               3   2  1  0    6   4  +2    7
2 Twicetagria                           3   2  0  1    6   6   0    6
3 Trolleborg                            3   1  1  1    5   3  +2    4
4 Baggieland                            4   1  1  2    8  10  −2    4
5 Squornshelan Remnant States           3   0  1  2    6   8  −2    1

Group 10
Sylestone 1–5 Busoga Islands
Xanneria 0–1 Independent Athletes from Quebec

* Group 10                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Busoga Islands                        3   3  0  0   11   4  +7    9 Q
2 Independent Athletes from Quebec      4   2  0  2    7   8  −1    6
3 Mavinet                               3   1  0  2    6   7  −1    3
4 Xanneria                              3   1  0  2    5   6  −1    3
5 Sylestone                             3   1  0  2    7  11  −4    3

Group 11
Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom 3–2 Timuria
South Newlandia 1–0 Electrum

* Group 11                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 South Newlandia                       3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    7
2 Timuria                               3   2  0  1    6   4  +2    6
3 Savojarna                             3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
4 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom             3   1  0  2    3   4  −1    3
5 Electrum                              4   1  0  3    1   4  −3    3

Group 12
Barunia 0–1 Geektopia
Valladares 1–0 West Pocono

* Group 12                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valladares                            3   2  1  0    9   6  +3    7
2 Geektopia                             3   2  0  1    5   2  +3    6
3 West Pocono                           4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
4 Newmanistan                           3   1  1  1    7   7   0    4
5 Barunia                               3   0  0  3    2   7  −5    0 E

[Krytenia]

GENERAL ELECTION - Coverage, Part IV

12:55am

Neil Alexandersson: Joining Peter Cameron around the table now we have Green Senator Samantha McCarthy, former Socialist MW Robert Anders, newly-returned Conservative shadow minister Anthony Pearce, and Democrat grandee Simon Howson, who stood down from his seat in Avidia before this election. To Simon first; surely this is a disaster for your party?

Simon Howson: The early signs aren't good, I'll grant you. I'd still be surprised if we're as low as eleven seats, but I think quietly a lot of Democrat candidates went to the polls today with a bullseye on their backs. I think, though, once people have a taste of what Reform is offering, they'll turn away from them and back towards our party. In the meantime, a period of quiet reflection is required, to ascertain where we went wrong and build for next time around.

Neil Alexandersson: I'd assume with a new leader in charge, though. Marcus Corrello's position is surely untenable after this result, would you agree?

Simon Howson: I think it would have been a difficult night no matter who was in charge; clearly the Reformers have enticed the voters with their promises of instant gratification; the only instant stuff I know is coffee, and some of that is rubbish. I'd back Marcus to stay on as leader if that's what he decides to do, no question.

Neil Alexandersson: Assuming he retains his seat. We've got a few reports coming in that that won't be the case.

Simon Howson: Don't believe everything you hear, Neil.

Neil Alexandersson: Well, I've got some good news for you, Simon. Peter Pagnelli has been returned in Gobion - so at least you've got some representation.

Simon Howson: Every cloud...

Neil Alexandersson: Indeed. Samantha, we'll come to you in a second, but it's back to David...I believe we have an update to the forecast. David?

David Hughes: Thank you Neil. Yes, Professor Jones and his team have been doing some number crunching and we've turned the exit poll into our first results-based forecast. Here it is:

We now predict that the Reform Party will - just - form a majority government. Professor Jones, tell us more.

Prof. Kurt Jones Yes, we're seeing a bigger "red shift" than we were expecting, leftist parties like the Socialists and Greens getting more votes than we were expecting, with the Reform Party also benefitting. This looks like being a slightly disappointing night for the Conservatives, and the MNP could get squeezed out of a number of seats we predicted them to win.

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1:04am

David Hughes: We go across the capital for a crucial declaration: has Marcus Corrello held on in Castle Hill?

I, Antonio Silva Herrera, being the Presiding Officer for the election of a Member of the Witting for the division of Emberton Castle Hill, can confirm that the election has been completed in a fair and legal manner, and that the number of valid votes cast for each canditate are as follows:

Corrello, Marcus Alexander Quentin, Krytenian Democrat: forty-eight thousand, three hundred and eighty-three votes. (muted cheers)
Dennis, Theodore, known as The Man In Mauve, Starblaydi Empire Party: eight. (laughter)
Ellis, Francesca Juliet, independent: six hundred and eighty.
Hernandez Garcia, Luis Pablo, Partida Hispanica: one thousand and four.
Ibbotson, Luke John, known as Flibble Ibble Ibble, Officially Silly Party: three hundred and seventeen.
Leonoro, Michael Robert, Reform Party: seventeen thousand, two hundred and thirty-six.
Martens, Leonard James, Conservative: fifteen thousand, nine hundred and thirteen.
Owen, Lisa Jane, The Greens: twelve thousand, four hundred, and eighty-one.
Smith, Rachel Patricia, The Socialists: fifty thousand, nine hundred and eighteen. (deafening cheers)

There were two hundred and sixteen spoiled ballot papers.

I hereby declare that the above mentioned Rachel Patricia Smith has been returned as Member of the Witting for this division.

David Hughes: It is as the Democrats feared, their leader has lost his seat in the Witting...

David Hughes is distracted by a loud thud from the "Bearpit". The camera switches to catch Simon Howson ripping off his mic and storming out of the studio, letting out an exasperated succession of obscenities on the way.

...to be continued...

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
Cup of Harmony

SO LONG!
New Lusitania 0-0 Alba & Cymru
@ Community Stadium
Something different... Opinion written by Afonso Cabral, STL Sport

The result over at the Community was one which followed the recent downward spiral - a draw. Suffice to say, New Lusitania are pretty much out considering they have one less game to play than the rest. Against Alba and Cymru, the Selecção had a goalless draw meaning that not only did they fail to win, they have yet to score a goal, something completely unprecedented for the Lusitanians. Whilst New Lusitania were one of the teams which spoke out against the 26 Matchday qualifiers, the fact is it has taken it's toll as we see a different speed up front despite the willingness to get there. This game against the Celtic side also showed that whilst the defence is much better from the previous two matches, the fact it's still a problem after so many games is questionable.
Whilst it would be good to actually talk about this seperate game, the fact is there weren't great shots, despite the eight shots of the Selecção and the nine of Alba & Cymru. Sure, Silveira and Gama had pretty good chances but the game was lacklustre. This all rounds up what has been a Cup of Harmony to forget in what can only be a cruel joke from fate as everyone was rallying up the team following what had been one of the best (if not the best) cycle for the team, being one of the thirty best in the qualifiers. Everyone agreed, qualifying to the next round here in Kelssek was a practical given, especially with even the third places - yet somehow, we haven't seen brilliance we haven't seen the New Lusitania we know. In fact, sometimes we question what is going on here - this has to be a burnout or something of the kind, as we're playing like no one has ever seen (in the negative way, that is).
This age which promised to be golden following success in HUElavia and unknown promises in Legionas would evaporate here unbeknownst to all. This will also affect the ranking as well, as we can assuredly see New Lusitania almost having to make up for disaster as they'll likely be back in the 50s or even 60s of next year's qualifiers. 86 was supposed to be "We'll get them next time" but will it after this? As per usual, we can now only hope that the damage is minimal - back in mid-40s or 50s maximum, but this jeopardises the following cycle already. Hope is all we can do, now that it is all outside of our control, like the waves of a strong current - there is no exit.
Like the seas that border us in our shores however, they can also change rapidly and after this match, Victor Santa Cruz, Lusitanian coach, has announced Flavovespia to be his last, unless they progress by some magic trick, with the intention to resign straight after the end of the tournament for the Heróis do Mar. Whilst the federation has yet to decide on who the next coach will be, the managers from the big clubs have come up, as well as Elvas' manager João Proençal which took them almost into international competitions after coming up from the Liga de Honra, with the announcement being made in the next few weeks. As for now, Flavovespia awaits in what will be a game of pride most likely to see if anything can be salvaged from this competition. Força Nova Lusitânia!

[Eraman]

CHAPTER 20
TJUN-IA

The defeat against Jeruselem put Eraman in a tight spot. A single point from 2 matches doesn't look good for their chance to qualify. The match against TJUN-ia is a do or die match for Eraman. TJUN-ia was very impressive in their opening match. They beat the group favourite, Jeruselem 2-0 in an amazing display. Led by a young 33 years old manager, TJUN-ia is hopeful over their chance to get to the next round.

The match was played in Canada Stadium in Neorvins, the federal capital of Kelssek. With a capacity of 66,300, it is one of the biggest stadiums in the country.

The two teams started the game offensively. The tempo was high, end-to-end stuff. It was like watching badminton or tennis. However, it was mainly because both teams lack coordination and organization. No chances were created. The players were all over the place. As the players grew into the game half-way around the first half, the Eraman midfield trio of Putra Daulapura Suara Petara, Milo Kaulawi and Mano Bosa started to show their dominance in the middle of the park.

TJUN-ia lined up with a single central midfielder with some support from the left and right midfield. Tun Sengalang Petara fully utilized that and instructed his team to play through the middle, with even the two wing-backs switched to be inverted wing-backs to exploit the central area of the pitch.

The tactic was fruitful in the 41st minute when youngster Milo Kaulawi delivered a delicious through ball to the right to sent Kilat Saputra one on one with the goalkeeper. Kilat Saputra though chooses to square the ball for his twin brother, Kudrat Saputra to finish.

Eraman went to the break with a lead. The second half started the same way as the first half ended. Eraman continued to be the more dominant between the two teams. It's surprising as this is not the TJUN-ia that won convincingly against Jeruselem. With the tight schedule and heavy travelling in the Cup of Harmony, it could be caused by fatigue or squad rotation.

Eraman who is eager to win the match after getting beaten in the second matchday scored their second goal in the 60th. Buisan Buayan was brought down outside of the penalty box for a free-kick to Eraman. Mano Bosa, Eraman's free-kick specialist slotted the ball into the next with a thunderous kick.

The game slowed after the goal. And the results stayed until the end. Eraman finally got its first win in Kelssek and keep their hope to get to the next round alive. One more group match to be played for Eraman, it's all down to the final match.

[Kelssek]

Group 1
Ethane 4–4 Mercedini
The Jovannic 2–6 Tequilo

  Group 1                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tequilo                     4   3  1  0   13   5  +8   10  Q
2 Mercedini                   3   1  2  0    7   4  +3    5
3 Ethane                      3   1  1  1    8   7  +1    4
4 The Jovannic                3   1  0  2    5  10  −5    3
5 Euran Oceania Territories   3   0  0  3    3  10  −7    0  X

Group 2
Talamia 2–4 Krytenia
Chromatika 2–3 Northwest Kalactin

  Group 2                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Krytenia                    3   3  0  0   11   5  +6    9  Q
2 Northwest Kalactin          4   2  1  1    9   6  +3    7
3 Talamia                     3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
4 Chromatika                  3   1  0  2    8   9  −1    3
5 Blouman Empire              3   0  0  3    6  13  −7    0  X

Group 3
South Covello 1–1 Legalese
The Sarian 2–3 Squornshelous

  Group 3                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Squornshelous               4   3  0  1   13  10  +3    9  Q
2 South Covello               3   1  2  0    6   3  +3    5
3 The Sarian                  3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
4 Legalese                    3   1  1  1    6   9  −3    4
5 Oberour Ar Moro             3   0  0  3    5   8  −3    0  X

Group 4
Filindostan 5–1 Maccian
Kandorith 5–6 Vdara

  Group 4                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Vdara                       4   3  0  1   18  14  +4    9  Q
2 Kandorith                   3   1  1  1   13  13   0    4
3 Filindostan                 3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
4 Maccian                     3   1  1  1    8  10  −2    4
5 Delaclava                   3   0  1  2   10  12  −2    1

Group 5
Alba and Cymru 1–1 Kohnhead
Flavovespia 2–1 New Lusitania

  Group 5                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Flavovespia                 3   3  0  0    8   2  +6    9  Q
2 Kohnhead                    3   2  1  0    7   3  +4    7
3 Eastfield Lodge             3   1  0  2    5   9  −4    3
4 Alba and Cymru              3   0  2  1    1   3  −2    2
5 New Lusitania               4   0  1  3    1   5  −4    1

Group 6
Garifunya 0–3 TJUN-ia
Sharktail 2–1 Jeruselem

  Group 6                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Sharktail                   3   2  1  0    8   6  +2    7
2 TJUN-ia                     3   2  0  1    5   2  +3    6
3 Jeruselem                   4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
4 Eraman                      3   1  1  1    8   9  −1    4
5 Garifunya                   3   0  0  3    0   5  −5    0  X

Third-place teams         Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
Jeruselem                   4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
West Pocono                 4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
Trolleborg                  3   1  1  1    5   3  +2    4
Ethane                      3   1  1  1    8   7  +1    4
Savojarna                   3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
The Sarian                  3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
Filindostan                 3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
Talamia                     3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
Balqia                      4   1  1  2    2   3  −1    4
Huayramarca                 3   0  3  0    6   6   0    3
Eastfield Lodge             3   1  0  2    5   9  −4    3
Mavinet                     3   1  0  2    6   7  −1    3

[Sylestone]

Can Sylestone do it?
They had their hopes high before their game against the Busoga Islands, they're now down rock bottom. More like sentient-household-object bottom. With two matchdays to go, four teams were tied on three points, with only Busoga on six. This Matchday was an important one and one that didn't go so well for the Sylestoneans. They are now sitting at the bottom of the table, but they still have a chance at going for second place. Can they? Come back in two days time. For now, we'll take a look at what went wrong against Busoga Islands, and why they were slaughtered so much. Yes, that's right, we are going inside the Sylestone National Soccer Team for exclusive interviews and a match report.

If there was anyone to be scared of in this group, it was the Busoga Islands. They didn't have a very good World Cup campaign and they wanted revenge in the Cup of Harmony. With two wins from two, they were determined and they wanted to affirm their dominance of some sentient household objects. They did just that.

"I don't think we've ever played a more aggressive team. They wanted us down. Nothing will stand in their way. If they re going to play like this every game, nothing is going to stop them from winning the Cup of Harmony," says the Washing Machine. "Nothing we did could stop them. Once they were 4-0 up at half time, they backed off a little bit and allowed us to score a goal, but they were still angry. None of our dirty tricks worked. Toughest game we've ever played. Tougher than the ones against South Covello or Taeshan or Flavovespia or even Main Nation Ministry. They wanted us down and out and they got it."

At the start of the game, the Appliances walked out only to see the bulky Islanders standing at the other side of the field. They were powerful and intimidating and looked unstoppable. There was a glimmer of hope that it was just for show and their soccer skills themselves weren't actually that good, but they were wrong. Three goals in the first five minutes, all powerful shots from the Busogan centre forward, were shot past the Brick Wall and into the goal, nearly breaking the netting at the back of it, the power in them. However, they seemed to only have one game plan and the Sylestoneans found their way around it. In the 12th, 24th and 35th minutes, the Mixer had three god runs at goal, however, unfortunately for him, all were saved. Even on the third attempt when he passed the ball to the Tumble Dryer after breaking through, the ball was flung and hit the crossbar and went into the crowd behind. In the 39th minute, the Drawer was nearly knocked down a right-winger and the Ironing Board fouled him at the edge of the penalty area. Although it was a tough call, the referee eventually decided that a penalty should be awarded and the result was a 4-0 lead to the Busoga Islands. All of this time, the Sylestonean coach, a Toaster, was raging on and on about the game. A merciless half-time speech was planned and the players knew it.

"What the f*ck was that all about? Why? 3-0 down after five f*cking minutes. Not good enough. If you expect me to put up with this sh*t, you're wrong. Two days ago we beat the Independent Athletes from Quebec. A brilliant game. But where is it now? Have you all gone to sleep? Think, we can do this. Just one goal!"

With that speech, the power of the Busogan attacks seemed partially nullified and the Sylestone defenders were able to repel them a bit easier. However, in the 61st minute, there was another foul outside, this time outside of the penalty area, but it didn't matter. A brilliant, curving shot flew over both the defender wall and the actual Brick Wall goalkeeper. 5-0 was hardly brilliant for the defensive-minded Appliances, but in the 88th minute, the Stove finally found a way through the defence and passed the ball to the Mixer, who attempted a pass to the Tumble Dryer. Unfortunately for the Tumble Dryer, he was too far away to get to the ball and the Busogan goalkeeper. Just before he was picking up the ball a great big lump of Fridge came running past him and scored a goal. And that was how the game ended. 5-1. But still, the final goal gave them some hope.

"OK. I'm still very dissatisfied with your performance today, but at least that second half was half-decent. If we can play like that, then we can beat Mavinet in two days time. However, until then, I want all of you training your asses of like you never have before. Despite that loss, we're still well and truly in the tournament. Mavinet is good. They won the Baptism of Fire. But we beat the Independent Athletes from Quebec. They didn't. So come on. We can do this. We must do this."

How Sylestone can come second.
They beat Mavinet 3-0 at least, and Xanneria doesn't win against Busoga Islands.

How Sylestone can come third.
Win. That's it. Just win. A draw won't be good enough if they are to progress. They must win. Oh yeah, and Xanneria can’t.

The lineup for the game against Mavinet:
Brick Wall
Washing Machine
Ironing Board
Spiderwebs (in defence)
Dishwasher
Sofa
Stove
Fridge
Bar Stool
Mixer
Tumble Dryer

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Squornshelan Remnant States 2 – 3 Baggieland FT (2 – 2 HT)

Baggieland’s final game of the tournament resulted in a much needed win, but in terms of qualifying for the next stage, it was too little, too late.

Proceedings got off to an almost unbelievable start when Ajao scored direct from the kick off, when his wind-assisted strike caught Osborne off his line, leaving the Throstles’ No. 1 just a little embarrassed. Things got even worse for Baggieland just ten minutes later when Vladcik came in off the wing and delivered an inch perfect cross that Petrov had no problems nodding into the net. Fred Buckingham was literally foaming at the mouth on the touchline and his admonishments must have sunk into the players. They pulled themselves together and midway through the half they got a goal back when Livermore found Regis on the edge of the box, his little dummy was all that was needed to give him some space to fire home his shot. In the last minute, Dalso made a clumsy challenge on Richardson inside the box, and the ref had no hesitation in pointing to the spot. Brunt stepped up to take the kick, which was initially saved by Krieven, but Brunt was first to the rebound and smashed it back past the keeper for a goal.

The second half wasn’t as lively as the first, as both teams seemed a bit more cautious at the restart. There were a handful of chances for the Throstles and the Confederates, but neither keeper was duly troubled. Then in the last ten minutes, Richardson stole in behind their defence and stole all three points for Baggieland.

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Ronnie Regis: (27’).
Ray Brunt: (44’).
Jeff Richardson: (82’).

Possession: 55%.
Corners: 9.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 3.
Bomber Robson: 2.
Ginger Astle: 1.
Ronnie Regis: 1.
Ray Brunt: 1.

[PotatoFarmers]

(OOC: This should have been posted before Matchday 4, so ICly it was done then.)

Port Ember 1
Danny Nicovic 56'

Poafmersia 2
Shakira Handris 27'
Aubrey Mayer 90'

Starting 11: Sandi Jaliaha; Alex Pickford, Alex Hoboson, Danzik Hoboson (c), Denise Pickford; Daas Taisg, Goon Figsh, Gisiik Moonar; Joel Haodao, Shakira Handris, Pete Carisa

Substitutes: Timothy Gausun (D. Pickford 68') ;Stegaj Johnatson (Taisg 74'); Aubrey Mayer (Carisa 83')

Katiri Hedge couldn't believe his eyes as the players carried Aubrey Mayer while the referee blew the whistle signalling the end of the game. The last minutes of the game flashed past so quickly and unbelievably that Katiri felt like he was dreaming about this outcome. As he rubbed his eyes, he looked up at the Poafmers celebrating their national team's win and the huge giant scoreboard behind them. "Full Time - Port Ember 1 Poafmersia 2" was written in huge words, as the camera panned towards the tunnel where Adnan Suliaha was shaking hands with the Port Ember team manager, Kevin Block. Katiri stood up, aiming to follow Adnan into the tunnel, he saw his opposite number, Connor Davies. Connor walked up to him. "Very well played," Connor muttered, extending his hand to Katiri. Katiri promptly shook his hand and said, "a very close game, props to your team," before realising that maybe that wasn't the most appropriate statement to make at that point in time. Meanwhile, both team's fans were on the extremes, with the Port Emberians deeply upset to have lost such a valuable point in the dying stages of the game, while the Poafmers cheering and celebrating as though the Red Panjias have won their first trophy in the national team's history. The Poafmersian players gave the opposition a round of applause, and promptly went up to shake their hands as they walked off the pitch.
Trimidau Rukiya's rise as dark horses of the Poafmersian Premier League was no fluke, thanks to Aubrey. As one of the key cornerstones in the club's offence, she has long been marked as one of the up and coming new generation of players, alongside Joel Haodao, Alex Hoboson and Dargis Walshor. Her capabilities over the past few years was overshadowed by her long periods of injury, but when she finally had huge playing time 2 seasons ago, she showed her talent as she helped propel her team towards the top of the table. It was unfortunate she missed the qualification campaign due to another injury, but now that Adnan could give her her first appearance for the team, she gladly repaid for it with a stoppage time winner that sent Poafmersia towards the top of a group that looks extremely tight ahead of the 4th matchday.
For Adnan, seeing the goal brought back memories of that day in HUElavia, where Dargis Walshor missed the crucial 5th penalty to allow Port Ember to steal the bronze medal after 120 minutes of tough battle. Though he openly praised his players for performing well against a team who have been to the World Cup and making their debut there in the 84th edition, deep down in his heart, he was quite upset that their team's hard work wasn't rewarded. This time round, taking a crucial win over Port Ember has put them ahead with a slight advantage, in a really tough group where no one has a clear lead.
Katiri, being the more realistic person, reminded the team about how every point is important on the way to Spenson, where Poafmersia will play the remainder of their Group Stage. To Katiri, building on this win is especially important, since the top 2 spots are not as clear cut as they should be at this stage. The only thing obvious to him would be to include Aubrey on the starting 11, giving her a chance.

[PotatoFarmers]

Huayramarca 2
Gabriel Sayritupac 4'
Ian Mamani 60'

Poafmersia 2
Aubrey Mayer 37'
Hansel Tang 88'

Starting 11: Sandi Jaliaha; Graciia Warisian, Pasits Rikachz, Danzik Hoboson (c), Denise Pickford; Stegaj Johnatson, Terezia Campos, Gisiik Moonar; Hansel Tang, Shakira Handris, Aubrey Mayer

Substitutes: Bytia Hisel (Handris 66'); Timothy Gausun (D. Pickford 83')

It took a bunch of ladies to prevent Poafmersia from losing the match against Huayramarca and ensure that they have a soft cushion of 2 points. No, correction, it is the "false relief of being 2 points ahead".
To Adnan, the draw is not something he is happy about. 3 days ago, Poafmersia relied on a late goal to score all 3 points and claim a win over Port Ember. Today, Poafmersia relied on a late goal to get a point against bottom seeds Huayramarca. "Today's performance isn't as good as our performance 3 days ago when we defeated Port Ember. We had cut ourselves too much slack, and all of a sudden we fall behind too much. Losing in possession, number of shots, territory for almost 70% of the game, the team is always playing on the back foot and could not survive if not for the late goal," said Adnan after the match. He only had praise for Aubrey Mayer, who scored her second goal for the team in her first start. "I should have brought her into the team as soon as possible, if not for her injury woes. Her performance today was one of the few positive points on the night, and we would certainly be worse off if not for her."
The draw with Huayramarca places Poafmersia in 2nd place, with 5 points, 2 ahead of 3rd placed Huayramarca and 4th placed Port Ember, with the latter losing to Astograth. Astograth clinched a berth in the Round of 32 following their win over Port Ember. Poafmersia next plays Astograth, with a win for the Red Panjias enough to grab top spot and qualify for the Round of 32.

---

CoH 77: What is next for Poafmersia?
Commentary for the Sporting Daily by Guest Columnist, Jabik Henderson
Poafmersia plays Astograth in Spenson 2 days later needing a win to secure top spot and qualification into the Round of 32. With Huayramarca and Port Ember playing against each other, Poafmersia needs to get as many points as possible to secure qualification.
First, we have to take a look the criteria to determine the teams that have qualified. 7 points and a guaranteed top 3 spot in each and every group would definitely be enough to qualify for the Round of 32, as the 3rd placed team in 4 groups (Group 5, 7, 8, 10) cannot obtain more than 6 points. 15 teams have qualified thus far, based on this calculation.
Next, we have to look at our group.

Pos    Team             P    W    D    L   GF   GA   GD    Pts
1      Astograth (Q)    3    2    1    0    4    2    2      7
2      Poafmersia       3    1    2    0    7    6    1      5  
3      Huayramarca      3    0    3    0    6    6    0      3  
4      Port Ember       3    1    0    2    2    3   -1      3
5      Torisakia (E)    4    0    2    2    9   11   -2      2

A 2-point cushion is nothing in this case, owing to the closeness of the Goal Difference. If Port Ember vs Huayramarca ends in a draw, then Poafmersia would always qualify. In the case that that match ends in a win for one side, then the answer is not as simple. If Poafmersia loses, then the winner of Port Ember vs Huayramarca would be leapfrog Poafmersia to qualify in 2nd, and Poafmersia has to depend on the results of others around the group. If Poafmersia draws and Huayramarca wins, then Huayramarca can leapfrog Poafmersia if they win by 2 goals or more, else qualification would rely on a dice roll. If instead Port Ember wins, then they need to win by 3 goals or more. 2 goals would not be enough since Poafmersia leads on Head-to-head record. Meanwhile, Poafmersia is guaranteed to qualify as group winners with a win over Astograth. Simple as that.
But is a win over Astograth easy? Not quite. They drew Huayramarca, defeated Port Ember and Torisakia thus far. Last year during the qualification campaign for the 85th World Cup, Astograth was one of the biggest overachievers, getting relatively close to the World Cup before losing out slightly. For Poafmersia, they need to bring out their finest performance, playing the match as though it is a final. If not, Poafmersia may bow out of the Cup of Harmony in the group stage for the second consecutive cycle.

Starting 11 against Astograth - Sandi Jaliaha; Graciia Warisian, Pasits Rikachz, Danzik Hoboson (c), Timothy Gausun; Daas Taisg, Terezia Campos, Gisiik Moonar; Joel Haodao, Bytia Hisel, Aubrey Mayer

[The Jovannic]

After the 6-2 loss to Tequilo...

Boys....that was a really tough match today. Our defense collapsed during the first half and Tequilo scored 5 against us. We did much better during the second and both Denigh and Jovan here scored. But this is not enough. WE MUST WIN AGAINST MERCEDENI. WE MUST. BOYS, WIN. WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED BY A LOSS.


In the training area...
Push yourselves! Don't let your mind stop you from pushing past your limits! Push Forward and onward! Go! Good shot Sami, yes Rivilia, come on, lets go!
Gothal Mathee retreats to his office. A man steps into the office looking for him.

Gothal?

Please knock.

Mercedeni drew against Ethane!

Gothal widens his eyes in shock "Brilliant! We actually have a good chance of qualifying!"

He rushes back to the training area

"Boys! Come here!"

What's happening?

Lads, Mercedeni drew against Ethane. We now have a good chance. All we have to do is win against Mercedeni. It's not going to be easy, but we can do it. We will do it. Now go! Train until you can't! We must win!

Yeah!

It was going to be difficult, but he has seen the lads do it before, and he knows they can do it again. They must win, and he will push them to do exactly that.

Gothal Mathee watching Training before Mercedeni

How The Jovannic can qualify:
2nd Place: we win against Mecredeni and Ethane loses/draws against EOT

3rd Place: We win against Mecredeni and Ethane wins against EOT

Starting Eleven against Mecredeni
Mavin Tsuniki, Kish Dasny, Raye Eng, Kallin Yustat, Nivario Wesh, Stockain Lelop, Jin Tze, Rivilia Yunsala, Denigh Kian, Inau Fathe, Jovan Ilohil

---

Launch of the new Haika Class Carrier JSS Rosesword

The Jovannic's Second Biggest Warship enters service today as the JSS Rosesword Departed Chan City Port for a maiden voyage around The Jovannic. This warship has seeked to insert dominance in Jovannic waters and decrease pirate attacks in the Jovannic. Second in size only to our flagship the JSS Jovannica, It is equipped with several Large machine guns and cannons, with ample anti air guns and special tracking torpedoes. The radar can penetrate through stealth aircraft and radar jumblers and powerful Jovannic made anti torpedo armor can defend against even the best torpedoes and even rams. It can hold 28 Large JoC5 aircraft or 33 regular elite JX11 aircraft and 5 attack helicopters. A brand new innovative ammunition movement system efficiently cuts down reload time by 3 times and the penetrative hacking system can hack into some less advanced computer systems and override them. This is an exciting new chapter in Jovannic naval power and we are excited for the new ships that will be revealed soon.

JSS Rosesword departing Chan City today

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem manager Boris Lancaster and Naked Jeruselem's Daisy Cutter after Jeruselem lost to Sharktail 2-1

Daisy: Hey, we probably would have qualified proper if we had won today
Boris: I know
Daisy: Well, a draw would have been kinda useful
Boris: Don't worry girl, we'll be fine
Daisy: I want to be here as long as possible, you know because I get an overseas travel bonus
Boris: We'll make the next round

Daisy: So we'll have to discuss what could happen since he have the bye next
Boris: I'm sure we'll sneak through
Daisy: Err, yeah ... I hope so
Boris: I have things under control
Daisy: Doesn't look like it
Boris: You worry too much

Daisy: So you worked the scenarios yet?
Boris: No, not yet. Maths isn't my forte.
Daisy: So who's going to do that?
Boris: You're the TV person, you work it out.
Daisy: Hey you, I'm not Princess Kate. I don't work this stuff out easily. No wonder Princess Kate has to do so much work
Boris: I'm doing all my job

Daisy:
So the round of 5 is TJUN-ia v Sharktail , Eraman v Garifunya.
The table is Sharktail 7, TJUN-ia 6, Jeruselem 6, Eraman 4, Garifunya 0

Boris: Sounds about right

Daisy:
Now we DO NOT want Eraman to win, as they would move to 7 points. So for us, a draw or loss for them is in our interests.
We in fact want Sharktail to win, not TJUN-ia. If they win, they get 10 and TJUN-ia stay on 6.
TJUN-ia win, then they move to 9, and Sharktail stay in 7.
If they draw, then they stay where they are on 8 and 7 points.

Boris: Well, that sounds great! Sharktail to win and we hope Eraman lose.
Daisy: The kicker is Eraman would win and go to 7 and we go back to 4th - and the results of the other game become more important. We really do need Sharktail to win and win by 3 goals.
Boris: I think that can happen
Daisy: Let's hope Garifunya can draw with Eraman, because if Eraman win we're screwed.
Boris: I guess we can't lose 3rd spot or we're eliminated.
Daisy: Yeah

Boris: I guess that's what we'll be talking about
Daisy: What happened today?
Boris: Err, yeah ...
Daisy: Look I will ask this question!
Boris: We maybe gone a little too defensive today ... yeah
Daisy: What? Shouldn't you go all out to WIN and get THREE points?

Boris: I had a plan
Daisy: Well, it didn't work ...
Boris: Yes well, nevermind!
Daisy: I won't lose my job from this ... that's you
Boris: I'll be good, I have plan B to keep my job
Daisy; Good luck

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

I know I have hammered this point to death, but TJUN-ia really was at a crossroads entering MD4. A win and a loss in our first two games meant that a result against bottom-side Garifunya was required in order to stay in the hunt for qualification to the knockout rounds of the CoH. De Dolfijnen were the home team for this match-up in Arvika, Kelssek and would be wearing their usual red and black kits. The Jaguars were in their away orange and blue kits.

Many expected this game to not be easy: Garifunya needed a win in order to keep their hopes alive or else they would be eliminated. But David Seems also knew how important this game would be for TJUN-ia's chances, so he gave Stefan Schuurmans no quarter. The first half had the Jaguars on the offensive for much of it, but Garifunyan captain Stijn Kruit was quite good in between the sticks. For 40 minutes. A David Johnson corner ended the deadlock, headed in by Mohammad Kallah of all people.

The 2nd half was more of the same, but now the Jags completed more of their chances. They went 2-0 up in the 56th, Vladimir Podolov the scorer. Seems knew this game would be his so he made changes to reflect that. Substitute Prince Carter would make it 3-0 in the 85th, sealing this game up with flair and style.

Mission complete for Seems and now the picture is clear. Jeruselem cannot do anything more, as they lost 2-1 to Sharktail. To qualify in the Top 2, TJUN-ia must get points against the Blue Monster while also keeping an eye on Eraman - who play Garifunya. Onwards to Latrobe for 2 vs 1. GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE
MD1: vs Jeruselem (42) - Griffin Park, Novonaya (39,200) W 2-0 (1st)
MD2: BYE (2nd)
MD3: vs Eraman (60) - Canada Stadium, Neorvins (66,300) L 0-2 (4th)
MD4: vs Garifunya (157) - Community Stadium, Arvika (34,700) W 3-0 (2nd)
MD5: vs Sharktail (109) - Macquarie Docklands, Latrobe (cap. 55,700)

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

Busogan fiver against Sylestone shows why it's better to be an Islander fan than a Banijan fan


Islander fans marching through Zwischen after the team's 5-1 victory over Sylestone

RUKUNBI, ISTRIA, MORAVICA, BANIJA- Rukunbi. The largest district of the 5 districts of Istria. A district dominated by a large Busogan population, one of the few geographical areas in the country with a majority population that is not Mormon. A million people live in Rukunbi(and 3 million in the city at-large), and estimates range that there are anywhere between 500,000 and 700,000 people of immediate Busogan descent, aka either them or at least one parent born on the Busoga Islands. The loyalties of these fans, of course, go two ways. They, unlike people in the Busoga Islands, will obviously root for Banija at the World Cup. But unlike most Banijans, they'll also show out during the Cup of Harmony for the Busoga Islands.

It begs the question. Is it better to be a Banijan fan, or a Busogan fan right now? Of course, there's the ranking difference- we're ranked 53rd in the multiverse, the Kadongo Kamu are ranked fourth. Banija will be ahead of the Islanders in the rankings for quite a long while yet. But sports isn't about who's better "in general", especially when you are talking about two national teams who, even though the countries share a league, have never played each other in any competition. But being a sports fan is about how much you beat expectations, and "what have you done for me lately." And in that most important category, it is superior in every way to be a fan of the Busoga Islands, as opposed to being a fan of the Kadongo Kamu.

We'll give the Banijans credit- they have a damn excellent squad. Getting first in the overall World Cup Qualifying table is no small achievement. Will anyone actually remember that besides a couple of statistician nerds at the Royal Banijan Soccer Association? No, but it means Qualifying was a fun experience. Their fans tuned in to see win after win after win, seeing their side win 22 games, draw once, and then lose once. Go wire-to-wire as the first place team in their group. Such a fun experience, right? But that wouldn't necessarily make their fans super happy. Winning of course makes fans happy, but if you're ranked in the Top 6, you're supposed to win, right?

Ever since then, it's been a struggle. It's clear what the problem is, and even though the Banijans won't say it, we aren't rooting for them, so we will- they peaked in the first half of Qualifying. They were beating everybody by three goals a game between Matchdays 1 and 13, and nobody could get anywhere close to them. But as soon as Qualifying ended, what happened? Everything went disastrously. In their first friendly warmup, they continued their form from Qualifying, beating Taeshan 3-0. And then, it all went away. In stunning fashion, really. Got smoked by Baker Park at home, 3-0. Lost to Siovanija & Teusland(Again!) at home, this time 3-2. And then, stunningly, lost 1-0 in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec to the Grim Reapers.

Hey, the Quebecois beat Banija, and then lost to us. So by that measure, we're better than Banija, eh? Anyways, they lost 3 friendlies in a row entering the World Cup. And then enter the World Cup. They blew a 2-0 lead against Pot 4 Sarzonia and lost, 3-2. While they beat the Free Republics pretty good, and were extremely fortunate to get a draw against Pasarga. Getting dead last in their group, as the 4th ranked nation in the world, would have been embarassing on multiple magnitudes. God denied us that joy, but at the same time, he's blessed the rest of us as we'll have the joy of watching Vilita kick the crap out of the struggling Banijans in Farfadillis. I'll take a 5-1 in favor of the world numbers ones, right?

So let's take their last six games. 1 win, 1 draw, 4 losses. Banijan fans must be miserable. Now, let's take a look at the Busoga Islands. The Islanders have had one expectation, considering our historic struggles here. Simply do what we had never done, aka reach the knockout stages of the Cup of Harmony. And we have done that in a fashion where one must be proud of us. A strong win over the Grim Reapers to start the Cup of Harmony, playing excellently the whole game in entertaining fashion, and starting off on the front foot. Coming off of our bye, even though Mavinet was better for large stretches on Matchday 3, and getting the win anyways in exciting fashion, with a substitute's header giving us the greatest singular joy in sports- a late winner.

And then, our domination against the appliances of Sylestone. We put five by Sylestone. Five. Amitabh had a hat trick within the first five minutes of the game. It was 3-0 while the last of the straggling fans were still making their way to their seats. We've already exceeded expectations here- we haven't been to the knockouts of a major tournament since Baptism of Fire 68(pre World Cup 81), and that means we've never been to the knockouts of the Cup of Harmony.

We've been one of the top teams at this tournament so far. We're not only through to the knockouts with a game to go, we've won the group outright with a game to go. We've put all sorts of goals on the board, even though this team is focused on its defensive tenacity. It's nothing but a party from this point forward. There's no pressure. No expectations. Only enjoyment from this point forward. Winning in such spectacular fashion to make the knockout stages sends a message to the rest of the tournament. And it's certainly going to be a party. There's no frustrations about this team right now. The football is all free-flowing.

So if anybody ever asks you this question- is it better to root for Busoga or Banija? The answer, undoubtedly, at this moment is Busoga. You'd never want to root for Banija anyways. But especially now. If you meet a Banijan fan in the street, give them a pat on the back, and then a white flag with the red star and crescent. There's plenty of space on the Busogan bandwagon for this Cup of Harmony!

[Mavinet]

© Dai Hoa Times
Cup of Harmony 77: National team in "all in" mode before the last match
by Vu The An, Associate Sports Editor

---

With all but 1 game left to play for all teams in the Cup of Harmony (some had already finished), the atmosphere is getting tenser by the day. Whether someone stays or leaves the competition will be decided in just another 90 minutes. In that context, having a bye day right before the crucial last match is important, as it allows the players extra time to rest and train for the match, and the coaches a longer interval to study the opponent. Mavinet is one of those lucky teams that get to enjoy the extra mental leg room before flying into the decisive battle.

The journey so far has been just a bit better than average. Being the fourth-seeded team in a group with two teams in the top 55 ranks of the multiverse, it's certainly not easy, if not impossible, to get good results out of any matches with them. Mavinet managed to steal all 3 points from the top-seeded team Xanneria, but then failed to make headway against the Royal Kingdom of Quebec and Busoga Islands. 3 points after 3 matches may look like a bad result, but it's important to remember where Mavinet is in the football world. Some early successes in the junior tournaments and the Baptism of Fire gave us some attention, but it can also make us overestimating our real abilities. Mavinet is still a young team making its baby steps in the football world.

With the lack of action on the pitch for the national team in the fourth round of the group stage, our correspondences in Zwangzug headed for the training field used by the national team during this competition. The coaches and players were not taking a day off and instead scheduled a full day training session at the facility. We spoke to Head Coach Nguyen Minh Quan and asked for his opinions before the last match:

How do you feel about the team's performance so far in the Cup of Harmony?

I think the team has played well to my expectations. The way we link up on the field and the confidence shown when playing against stronger teams certainly make me happy. This group has improved a lot since the start of the 72nd Baptism of Fire. Looking at the result, I don't think I can complain. We got a huge result against Xanneria, which is one of the top teams. We closely lost to Quebec and Busoga Islands, which are also among the top 100 squads of the world. If I had any expectations before the competition, most of them have been exceeded for sure. Of course there are issues that everyone can see in our defense, but those are not something you can change in a few days time. I, other coaches and the football authority are still building our national team with a young group of players that have not had much exposure to international football, so that will take time.

What is the team's target in the Cup of Harmony?

We don't have a specific target, really. The goal is pretty much the same as that in any other competitions we have played in: To get exposed, get as much experience as possible and get as far as we can. There is really nothing more than that. Everyone in the management team agreed that we don't play for any specific targets, and the Football Association have been very supportive of our approach so far. One big reason obviously because there is no precedent for us to look to. Another reason is because I don't believe specifying a specific stage where we have to reach is beneficial to the team. From interacting with the players on a regular basis, I know the personality of the group and I can say that they are one hard-working group that always strive to do better everyday. They don't need to be told to play to reach X or Y stage of the competition.

What do you think of our next opponent, Sylestone, and what's our chance of getting through to the next stage?

I would say Sylestone is an intriguing opponent. Sentient appliances playing football? Now that's a peculiar scene. But other than that, I think they are as legitimate a threat as any other team can be. The football world now is one that regularly produces upset, and rankings can't give you as certain an odd as they did anymore. Look at ourselves, right? We won against massive, massive teams but also lost against lower-ranked teams. Anyone can beat anyone else, so I think we ought to treat them with the same respect and level of preparedness as with any other teams. As for our chance of getting through, it's there if we can play our best and get the best result possible, period. There is no need to overanalyze it.

Thank you for your time and good luck with the last match!

The national team are training hard and focusing entirely on the match ahead. We surely hope that with this dedication to performing to their best ability, our Water Buffaloes will make a strong finish in the 77th Cup of Harmony's group stage and be present in the Round of 32.

On another different note to the current events of the Cup of Harmony and World Cup, there are talks of a potential youth development program between Mavinet Football Association and Cassadaigua. We have not been able to verify the validity of these talks as well as of any details about the mentioned program as no official announcements have been made regarding the matter, but if this is true, it will be a big step in the effort to modernize and improve our football development system. The Dai Hoa Times will provide further news about the development of this program as they become available.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Somehow Not Mathematically Eliminated Yet.

Salwan Mynhier

So we lost, again. To a lower-ranked team, again. A pot one team sitting bottom of our group, again. Probably about to be hiring a new manager, again. Crashed out of the Cup of Harmony, again.

Wait, what's that?

We're not actually eliminated yet? Surely that's a mistake. How could a team without a win to their name still be in contention to advance with only one match left?

Don't close the tab just yet, it's true. There is a still a way (an incredibly improbable way) that the Black-and-Reds can make the second round, and breathe life into their hopes of hoisting the Cup of Harmony. (give me a second here, I tried to type that with a straight face and I think I pulled a muscle)

First of all, we need to beat Trolleborg. Obviously. You can't hope to advance if you can't manage to win a single match. Just winning isn't going to be enough though. In order to overcome Trolleborg's lead in goal differential, the Black-and-Reds need to win by two or more goals. A two goal win would leave both teams with an even goal differential, but the Black-and-Reds would lead on goals for and head-to-head record. Getting that result would add the Confederacy to the list of third place teams hoping to qualify. We have no chance to catch Jeruselem or West Pocono, who currently sit atop that table with six points each, so let's look at the relevant part of the table:

Third-place teams         Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
↑Some other good teams are up this way↑
Ethane                      3   1  1  1    8   7  +1    4
Savojarna                   3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
The Sarian                  3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
Filindostan                 3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
Talamia                     3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
Balqia                      4   1  1  2    2   3  −1    4
Huayramarca                 3   0  3  0    6   6   0    3
Eastfield Lodge             3   1  0  2    5   9  −4    3
Mavinet                     3   1  0  2    6   7  −1    3
∅Garbo teams like us are not included in this table∅

Ok, so here's where it gets a bit tricky and farfetched. We need to overtake at least four of these teams. It would be enough for Huayramarca, Eastfield Lodge, and Mavinet to draw, provided the hypothetical win over Trolleborg is by a big enough margin, but even that would still leave us needing at least one other loss from some combination of the six teams on four points. Simple right? Well buckle up because we're not done yet. There are other fourth and fifth place teams that can still screw this up for us, so let's take a look at what we need, and what seems plausible (I use the term in the loosest possible sense) group by group.

Group 1:
Ethane play Euran Oceanian Territories, who have done even worse than us so far. The Jovannic face off with Mercedini. The results that would help us most would be wins for Mercedini and EOT, but that second one seems pretty farfetched. Doesn't look like we're picking up much help here.
Group 2:
Cruising Krytenia look well on their way to another glorious third-place trophy for the mantle, and should be able to see off Chromatik hopes of salvaging a deeply disappointing cycle. Talamia look to pick up full points against the floundering, bloundering Blouman Empire. Not much help here either.
Group 3:
The fucking Imperium lose to the top seeds but take advantage of SoCo sleepwalking to draws in their other two matches to clinch a group win. The main problem is that Legalese play against The Sarian, so no matter what happens, the third place team from this group will have more than four points.
Group 4:
In the group without defense, three teams all have four points, and there is hope for a bad third-place finisher. If Delaclava can beat Filindostan (but only by one goal) while Kandorith and the Maccian avoid a draw, that would leave a third place finisher with four points and a -1 goal differential. This is the most probably scenario so far for a third-place team who might finish worse than we can. Says a lot about how desperate this position is.
Group 5:
Here's another group where the two teams we're trying to finish ahead of play each other, but all hope is not lost, as it is in Group 3. If Alba and Cymru play Eastfield Lodge to a draw, the Eastfielders would remain in third with four points, but a -4 goal differential. A win for either of these teams would see them climb out of our reach, but a draw isn't out of the question. That gives of two groups that we might, maybe be able to catch, need to find three more.
Group 6:
Three teams already have six points in this group, so there's no way we're catching anyone. It's entirely possible that the third place team may have 7 points, and a very frustrated, six-point Jeruselem team could be left out of the second round.
Group 7:
Here, again, the teams we need to catch face each other, and a draw, preferably low scoring, might let us catch Huayramarca, who would be even with us on points, and likely on goal differential, but currently have fewer goals scored. Again, a win for either them or the opponents, Port Ember, would spell the end of our chance to catch them.
Group 8:
Balqia have already played all four matches, and are within reach, while Jeckland can't reach four no matter what. What we need is for the hapless Jecks to get their shit together and knock off the Cheergirls, or even just hold them to a draw.
Group 9:
The other match in our group means nothing to use, we just need to be sure to beat Trolleborg by at least two.
Group 10:
We're running out of groups here, and this one doesn't look very hopeful. Mavinet, Xanneria, and Sylestone all have three points already and another match to play. We would need Mavinet and Sylestone to draw, and also for Xanneria to lose to the Bethany Donnell-led Busoga Islands, who currently top the group.
Group 11:
This one's another impossible setup. Savojarna already have four points, and face off with Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom, who have three. Any result in that match will put one of those two teams beyond our reach.
Group 12:
Like Group 6, three teams here already have over four points, so nothing we can do to catch them either.

Is that all clear? Yeah, I didn't think so. Let's revisit what needs to happen in slightly simpler terms. Essentially, there are two conditions that must be fulfilled for the Black-and-Reds to make the second round, though the second condition is a bit complicated and highly improbable. Those conditions are as follows:

1) Squornshelan Remnant States must defeat Trolleborg by at least two goals.

AND

2) Four of the following scenarios must occur:

*Euran Oceanian Territories defeat Ethane AND Mercedini defeat The Jovannic
*Blouman Empire defeat Talamia
*Delaclava defeat Filindostan by exactly one goal AND Maccian draw with Kandorith
*Alba and Cymru draw Eastfield Lodge
*Huayramarca draw Port Ember
*Jeckland defeat Cheergirls
*Mavinet draw Sylestone AND Busoga Islands defeat Xanneria

It doesn't matter which four, but at least four of these statements have to be true by this time tomorrow for us to have any hope at all.

SPOILER ALERT:

It ain't gonna fuckin happen. See y'all at IAC 10

SRS Schedule

MD1:  SRS 3-3 OME @ Eglantine Park, Merano, ZWZ
MD2:  TWC 2-1 SRS @ Pallaci Pagoda Park, Bangkok, ZWZ
MD3:  BYE
MD4:  SRS 2-3 BAG @ Pallaci Pagoda Park, Bangkok, ZWZ
MD5:  TRL v SRS @ Eglantine Park, Merano, ZWZ

[Geektopia]

Geektivities
*Be cool, be woke.
Reports done by Abdel-Dayem, our new Culture categorist and editor
Lessons 1 and 2 <> Lessons 3 and 4 <> Lessons 5 and 6

Conlang enClave #007 - Yrp

Ve'ne eh gèom // I am getting

When combining the words "I am" and "getting" you don't necessarily have one word, for it is a translation of "Ve'ne eh gèom", this still means the same as it would in English, you are telling someone you've gained possession, are going to gain possession, or are being affected by something. New words include "better", "toothache", "married", "bed", "cold", "tired", "new", "car", and "puppy". Usually, vè is more of an active word in these translations.

Some examples would be: "Ve'ne eh fam o cjgiecjet" (translating to oneself getting better in general) | [] | "Vèon eh ammnjâ fup miece" (translating to oneself getting ready for bed) | [] | "Vèon eh qûtefj" (translating to oneself getting married) | [] | "Vè eh îosô hu neovj moun eh mîenj" (translating to oneself getting good at reading) | [] | "Vè qutv è gjèom ehen" (translating to oneself getting a job; employed) | [] | "Vè ep toothache è gjèom ehen" (translating to oneself getting a toothache) | [] | "Vè tmehjfèp usn" (translating to oneself getting a cold, as opposed to getting cold) | [] | "Vèon vaostiedj" (translating to oneself getting tired, as opposed to being tired) | [] | "Vè dess pae è gjèom ehen" (translating to oneself getting a new car) | [] | "Vè daomiuh è gjèom ehen" (translating to oneself getting a puppy, as opposed to already having a dog)

---

Conlang enClave #008 - Io

BONUS LESSON: Months, Weekdays, and Father Time

The Aforementioned Months and all Twelve of them
January --> fi-Iepèos
February --> fi-Giecjse
March --> fi-Mèostièom
April --> fi-Eocsièp
May --> fi-Gîefgeofj
June --> fi-Niovjionj
July --> fi-Jâom
August --> fi-Mâpete
September --> fi-Nièp
October --> fi-Fiosiefj
November --> fi-Tenjeop
December --> fi-Pummeoh

The Aforementioned Weekdays and all Seven of them
Monday --> Maeop
Tuesday --> Nèosv
Wednesday --> Dîefeuop
Thursday --> Fîesfeuop
Friday --> Jeuopi
Saturday --> Tevjeosp
Sunday --> Funjpeohj

Telling time on a clock:
1:00 --> Nu nu clauk
2:00 --> Ud ud clauk
3:00 --> Te te clauk
4:00 --> Uc uc clauk

Alright, we get it..

1:15 --> Nu li nu clauk
2:15 --> Ud li ud clauk

1:30 --> Nu ot nu
2:30 --> Ud ot ud

1:45 --> Nu liot nu
2:45 --> Ud liot ud

Every other minute as well as the hour is a generic Geektopian number. The minute goes in between the hour, though, like this:
6:20 --> Iws nal iws

---

First defeat to Newmanistan at home gives an air of uncertainty

Geektopia 1-2 Newmanistan

Goals: 52' (Adrian O’Bryan | assisted provided by Jorge Cortez | Newmanistan), 64' (Crete | assist provided by Andreen | Geektopia), 68' (Tyrone Vannella | assist provided by Adrian O’Bryan | Newmanistan)

Player Ratings

Leabo: 6.0
Osorto: 6.0
Loui: 6.0
Barella: 6.0
Crete: 7.0
Pillars: 6.0
Andreen: 6.5
Sudlow: 6.0
Resendis: 6.0
Medine: 6.0
Houg: 6.0

GKTA reinstates hopes of CoH advancement at Forbridge

Milchama 0-1 Geektopia

Goals: 83' (Sudlow | assist provided by Pillars | Geektopia)

Player Ratings

Leabo: 7.0
Osorto: 7.0
Loui: 7.0
Barella: 7.0
Crete: 7.0
Pillars: 7.5
Andreen: 7.0
Sudlow: 8.0
Resendis: 7.0
Medine: 7.0
Houg: 7.0

[Eraman]

CHAPTER 21
SAHAMI

Tun Sengalang Petara has made it known that his stint as the head coach of Eraman national team is temporary until someone more capable than him is available. This is a problem though as Tun Sengalang Petara thinks he is always right, a reason why Tun Sengalang Petara is literally in charge of everything in Eraman.

He has been in charge of the national team for almost 2 years now and still hasn't found anyone he thinks better than him. Good results in the 1 and a half World Cup qualifying campaign he is at the helm in which they finished 3rd in both boosted his ego. It was made worse when Eraman beat Valanora, one of the few nations ever to win the World Cup. That victory made the old man thinks he is one of the best managers in the world.

That is only until now. Someone has caught the attention of the guy nicknamed Mr Eraman outside of Eraman. The man in question is the 44 years old Sharktail national team manager, Sahami. The performance of Sharktail in the World Cup qualifying campaign and the current Cup of Harmony is simply tantalizing. Sharktail finished third in the World Cup qualifying campaign in a group that consists of Baker Park, Zwangzug and The Maccabees and has clinched a spot in the knockout stage of the Cup of Harmony with a game in hand in a group that consists of Jeruselem, TJUN-ia and Eraman.

Words from the most powerful man in Eraman's inner circle is that Tun Sengalang Petara is willing to sign a blank cheque for the service of Sahami. Tun Sengalang Petara thinks that Sahami is the perfect man for the job. For once, Sahami has proven to the world that he is a capable manager, leading his team to victories after victories and is currently on a 10-matches unbeaten streak.

Secondly, Sahami is a native of Sharktail, Eraman's southern neighbour. The two countries shared a long history together. Both of the countries, together with Pemecutan and Southern Palm Islands were part of the ancient Hindu Kingdom of Sripala. Although noticeably different in terms of vocabulary, grammar, spelling and accent, the language of Sharktail and Eraman are generally mutually intelligible. This made Tun Sengalang Petara believes that Sahami won't have any trouble settling in Eraman, a country that he will feel like home.

If rumours are to be believed, Tun Sengalang Petara has made a $60,000 per week offer to Sahami, a sum that is considered ridiculous in Eraman. For comparison, the highest-paid manager in Eraman, Bungsu Sula, manager of Anara, 2-times defending champion of Liga Eraman only earn $2,500 per month. While the current national team manager works pro-bono. Sahami's name is now trending in the social media in Eraman. The majority is excited about the prospect of Sahami managing Eraman.

With the general election coming thick and fast, is this just another political stunt by the deceitful prime minister to boost his image? Or is he serious on breaking the bank for the service of Sahami?

[Krytenia]

The winners of the Cup of Harmony will likely be a team ranked in Pot One or Two.
With Krytenia having already qualified for the next phase, let's see how the other twenty-three teams in the top two pots are doing.
It's time to unleash...

THE HIT LIST!

SOUTH COVELLO (15, Group 3)
The artists formerly known as Gregoryisgodistan showed their prowess with a comfortable victory over Squornshelous, but also showed their vulnerability dropping points to Legalese and The Sarian. May be thankful they play the group's whipping boys Oberour ar Moro on the final day.
Prognosis: A point should be enough, a win definitely will. Can't see OAM denying them that.

DARMEN (29, Group 8) - Qualified
The World Cup is poorer for not having them. Havem't looked troubled, qualifying with a game to spare.
Prognosis: Can afford to rest the starters - though will finish second if they lose to Riena.

CHROMATIKA (30, Group 2)
Shock defeats to Northwest Kalactin and Talamia have left them on the brink of elimination...and they haven't played us yet.
Prognosis: Formbook says we stuff them onto the plane home.

MERCEDINI (31, Group 1)
They've had a tendency to get in Krytenia's way in reent World Cup qualifications. Here, however, they've failed to turn good performances into wins, with draws against Tequilo and Ethane not helping their cause. The Jovannic are their MD5 opponents and can overtake Mercedini with a win.
Prognosis: Most not lose to The Jovannic. If they do, they're toast.

PORT EMBER (36, Group 7)
How did this lot ever make a World Cup? Teetering on the brink of elimination after defeats to the top two.
Prognosis: Huayramarca have drawn all three of their games so far; a fourth basically takes both sides out.

NEWMANISTAN (39, Group 12)
Hey, we remember you? So, what have you been up to since qualifiers?

Oh.
Ouch.
Prognosis: Should beat Barunia, and that should see them through.

NEW LUSITANIA (40, Group 5) - Eliminated
Where did it all go wrong? One point from four games means the group's top seeds are home before the group stage is over.
Prognosis: Already parked on the sofa.

JERUSELEM (42, Group 6)
For a nation that loves their naked personalities, here's some naked truth; the Princesses may have six points, but they've played all four of their games. Will be looking dervously at the MD5 games.
Prognosis: Eraman should beat Garifunya and cast this lot to the bin.

XANNERIA (43, Group 10)
All sizzle and no steak so far; a win against Sylestone isn't exactly setting the world on fire.
Prognosis: Busoga Islands should win their encounter, all but eliminating this shower.

TIMURIA (44, Group 11)
Looked to be crusing before defeat to Zeta Reka on MD4. Six points should suffice though.
Prognosis: May struggle against surprise package South Newlandia, but should advance as a third-placer at the very least.

FILINDOSTAN (45, Group 4)
You might remember them from our Cup of Harmony meeting a few years back. Looked in serious trouble untill they marmalised Maccian on MD4.
Prognosis: It's ridiculously close in the group; realistically, they need to beat Delaclava on MD5 to advance.

SQUORNSHELAN REMNANT STATES (46, Group 9)
Some call them the SRS, or West Squornshelous (it's a long story). We call them doomed.
Prognosis: Best they can hope for is a distant third. East 1, West 0.

KANDORITH (48, Group 4)
Lost their last game to Vdara by the odd goal in eleven; they should have enough in attack, but the defence has sprung a leak.
Prognosis: Anything less than a win against Maccian and they'll be following their postcards home.

POAFMERSIA (50, Group 7)
An up-and-comer upstaged by a returning face in the group stage so far. They have the chance to rectify that, though, as they face Astograth on MD5.
Prognosis: Win and advance; lose and go home. Fetch the slide rule if it's a draw.

BUSOGA ISLANDS (53, Group 10)
Three games, three wins, no problem. Basically they're us in white and red.
Prognosis: Expect them to enjoy handing Xanneria their elimination on MD5.

BALQIA (54, Group 8)
Haven't picked up enough points from their four games; four points does not a third-placer berth make.
Prognosis: Looking for cheap flights at short notice.

ETHANE (55, Group 1)
The bad news is they're third in their group. The good news is that final opponents, the Euran Oceanian Territories haven't won so much as a point so far.
Prognosis: Honestly? If they don't beat EOT, they don't deserve to go through.

TROLLEBORG (56, Group 9)
Nope, us neither.
Prognosis: SRS to grab the W and take this lot down with them.

SAVOJARNA (59, Group 11)
Been around the block without setting the world on fire. Cup of Harmony campaign so far has been this in microcosm.
Prognosis: Should get the two-goal win they need to advance.

ERAMAN (60, Group 6)
The bad news is they're sitting fourth in their group. The good news is that their last group match is against the only team worse than them, and they're just about in control of their own destiny.
Prognosis: Probably won't get the five they need to guarantee a top two spot; should win and go through as a best third-placer though.

FLAVOVESPIA (66, Group 5) - Qualified
They're dancing in the streets of Waldster tonight; Flavovespia have qualified with a match still in their pocket.
Prognosis: MD5 game against Kohnhead decides group champion.

SQUORNSHELOUS (71, Group 3) - Qualified
AKA East Squornshelous. They may only be (literally) half the nation they used to be, but three wins out of four means they can enjoy their MD5 bye safe in the knowledge they've won the group.
Prognosis: The red and black is back; can we resurrect Stephen Xousa? Asking for a friend.

GEEKTOPIA (72, Group 12)
Have had a good campaign so far - but they're yet to play group leaders Valladares.
Prognosis: Valladares to be one obstacle too many, may need to sweat on best third place spots.

[Northwest Kalactin]

KAAF Announces Sale of 2 Teams
The KAAF has announced the sale of 2 teams in the premier division of the league. Both Griffin City and Gold Coast Capital will be taken under the ownership of foreign investors from Kohnhead and Banija. Both teams have been around in the Kalactanian Top Divison since the league started, before the 78th World Cup Cycle. Gold Cost Capital is probably the most successful team of the two, having qualified for international competition since cycle 71 of the UICA. Griffin City is a regular mid table team, but with the leadership of Mark Romero in goal now, we think that there is nowhere that they can’t go. The first sale was to Keith Forbes, of Kohnhead. Mr. Forbes bought the Griffin City Football Club at an undisclosed price from the former Kalactanian owners. Forbes has a large image in Kohnhead Soccer, also being the minority owner of Kohnhead City FC, the most successful team from the nation of Kohnhead to ever play the game. The second sale went to Adama Sowe, of the most influential men in the sport. Sowe is the Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Regional Transit Corporation, The WCC Vice President and an Executive Board member of the IFCF, the governing body of club association football. Sowe looks to be building a Footballing Empire as one Banijan writer said after hearing about the sale. GCCFC, coming off of one of their most disappointing seasons ever, finishing 7th in the KAAF, will look to rebound from their losses and start to build a dynasty out of what they have now.

But what does this mean for the future of football in Northwest Kalactin? It could very well mean that more foreign investors will come soon, and this is just the start of a new age in Kalactanian Football. Currently, the Bank of Kalactin, by far the most important business in the nation, owns 7 teams in the top 2 divisions alone, not to mention the many teams that they sponser and own at the regional level. It is rumored that the majority portion of Purple Town is also up for sale, which is one of the clubs that the Bank owns. It could also mean that the Kalactanian clubs will start to throw around big money on the transfer market. Classically, they have spent little to no money internationally, due to the financial burdens of running a football club in the KAAF. However, with new investors coming in that are willing to buy large stakes in the teams, we think that a bit more money may start to get spent. If the league starts to spend large amounts of money on international transfers, there is a good chance that we will start to see the league rise on the rankings and start to punch with the big boys. Kalactanian Football will likely benefit greatly from this, but we don’t want too much foreign influence in the league. It is expected that the Bank of Kalactin will try to hold on to at least 4 of 5 of their teams in the top 2 divisions, as these teams are great marketing tools for the bank to use to get the name out.

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

The Fable of the Manager and the Talking Grapefruit
credits to Audio for this wonderful idea

Once upon a time, there was a football manager all the way in the woods of Alphaxrie. He was widely unsuccessful in anything he did, and he was threatened with a sacking.

The manager was very sad about this horrible news. He had tried out so many tactics: played 10 outfield strikers, ouija boards, and even two goalkeepers. They did not work, however, and he was the target of monkey chants.

One day, while he was sulking in his humble abode in the woods, suddenly a grapefruit alpeared in front of him.

"A grapefruit! I feel really hungry!" He exclaimed with joy. He was about to cut open the grapefruit when it started bopping around.

"Where are you going?" The manager asked. The grapefruit rolled on a pile of semaphore flags. Being smart, the manager picked the flags up and started communicating with the grapefruit.

It was a tiring day. Since the grapefruit had no arms, the manager had to hold the flags himself. The two unlikely duo talked about tactics.

The manager decided to use them. The next day, his team routed his opposition 7-0! The grapefruit was held as a hero, and you can see it at the Alphaxrie Imperials store, despite its rotten shape.

[Xanneria]

Using a Self ignore cannon here