World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Turori]

Citizen Squad Energized in wake of Cocoabo Triumph

While Turori's National Citizen Squad was more than happy to take the three points earned by the Cocoabo Special Forces squad at the Cednia Beach Centre on matchday three of World Cup 85 Qualifying, they were certainly disappointed to have not gotten the chance to win the game themselves. While it was known heading into the campaign that there was a chance the Cocoabo would make a number of appearances throughout the qualification haul to help share the burden of the indisputably long World Cup qualifying fixture schedule, The Citizen squad felt like they were deprived of an opportunity to claim a high-profile victory in their run to Farfadillis and Mriin. While they may never get the chance again to play against Audioslavia at home in the Island Emirate, the Turori National Team would stay local to square off against the Euran Oceania Territories for their fourth match of the World Cup 85 qualifying campaign.

While the Cocoabo's match against the Bulls of Audioslavia was a close affair decided by a single slightly disingenuous goal early in the first half, the Citizen Squad's next appearance was anything but. After taking a 1-0 lead at the half through Meldi'ita Mungwaii, the Eels would get three second half goals to secure a comfortable 4-0 victory over the side which had impressed recently in the AOCAF competition, having graduated from winless whipping boys to a second tier challenger capable of winning competitive games and disrupting group tables.

While the scoreline ended up largely slanted in favor of Turori's National Citizen Squad, some of the responsibility fell on the hands of Cedniavella goalkeeper Wiyauw An'maude who stopped all four of the Euran's shorts on goal to preserve the Clean Sheet - the first of the campaign for the Citizen Squad and second in a row for the Turori National Team following the Cocoabo's clean sheet victory over the Bulls on the previous matchday.

 Turori [4] - [0] Euran Oceania Territories 
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 31' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 46' Amakli Inuro'o:: 68' Mirana Gotuai:: 80' Mirana Gotuai           		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 57%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 5	Euran Oceania Territories  	:: Possession: 43%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 4
	Lineup:	[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Mikki Mayelli, [D.]  Tarek Edgeli, [ML]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Mbdiai Akarenaa, [MC]  Daliora Toru'u, [MR]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [FC] Mirana Gotuai, [M] Nubara Moafalia, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D] Lulu Pumaziiri, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

The normally defensively minded Turorians would continue their unlikely goals streak when they returned home to Turori for a match at the Coliseum of the Inurahtii against a team they had never before played, Porticalia. Turori got off to an even faster start with two first half goals - Mungwaii's second in as many games following the goal from Nua'oma Aikiki. The visitors embarrassed the Citizen Squad by breaking through and pulling one back just before the half time interval but Turori would regain their composure at the break to hit the four goal barrier for the second consecutive match and walk away with all three points. The victory extending the Eels lead atop the Group 1 table despite the fact that Turori had already taken its first half bye day during the opening round of qualification.

While no scheduled appearances have been yet announced for the Cocoabo Squad in the remainder of the World Cup 85 Qualification campaign, it is not expected that they will appear in the Turori National Team's next fixture as they travel to Sajnur to take on the team currently second in Group 1. A victory for Turori over Sajnur could give the Eels breathing room for the first time in Group 1 which has thus far been one of the most hotly contested groups in the Qualification campaign.

 Turori [4] - [1] Porticalia 
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 24' Nua'oma Aikiki:: 38' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 46' Kiidallen Aeroluzzi:: 91' Lulu Pumaziiri           		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 59%:: Shots: 11:: Corners: 7	Porticalia  	:: Possession: 41%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 4
	Lineup:	[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.]  Yitizo Mpala'a, [ML]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Mbdiai Akarenaa, [MC]  Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MR]  Daliora Toru'u, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [FC] Mirana Gotuai, [M] Nubara Moafalia, [M] Timi'sala Koarena, [U ] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D] Mikki Mayelli, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

[Talamia]

Matchday 6 - Group 12
match report
Talamia 3-2 Havynwilde
‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ 1' Ashton Houston
Stern A'apt 6' ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
Ptirn Lagios 45'‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎57' Ashton Houston
Fjössi Rooura 79'‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

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Talamia's line-up and players ranks.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages!
Here is Auxe Aggelia, accompanied as always by Gian Gianvilipendio, your favourite sports expert! It finally happened! We had to wait 6 matchdays but in the end it happened! Last night, at Clinepalas' Ebdemar Au'tokra stadium, Talamia finally won their first game in these 85th World Cup qualifiers! We managed to win 3-2 against Havynwilde. And to make matters worse, Gian Gianvilipendio is here with me to celebrate, having finally recovered from his ailments. Gian, what do you say?"

"I can't believe it, Auxe. A day ago I was in the hospital, eating chicken broth and rusks, and now I'm here next to you, in our wonderful capital, in the midst of all these wonderful butterflies."

"Butterflies?"

"Yes, you don't see them? Look at them: they are red and black, just like our shirts."

"No, Gian, I don't see them. These must be your happiness pills. Anyway, let's move on to the match report!"

"Not even a minute of play and Havynwilde immediately took the lead. Long pass to bypass an inattentive Yante Skatezzo and after a bad exit from our goalkeeper Diepeir, Ashton Houston found himself alone in front of the defenseless goal. 1-0. But our reaction was not long in coming and in the sixth minute the equalizer arrived: Lagios cross and Stern A'apt's winning header, with a wonderful coordination. The rest of the first half was flat and we thought the teams would head towards the locker room on a 1-1 result. But we were wrong! Thanks to a fast counterattack, a wonderful triangulation between Dioiiké, A'apt and Lagios led the latter to slip into the opponent's defense and place a precise ball in the lower right corner. The stadium exploded with joy. Talamia was ahead at half-time.

Stern A'apt capitalizing Lagios' cross at the sixth minute of the first half.

The second half was very tense. The opposing team decided to play very physical football, committing many fouls. Our midfield, however, managed to administer the advantage well, thanks above all to the almost perfect game of captain Ansem Egemon. Despite the good start, Havynwilde scored again. The only one to blame this time is Aha Diepeir, whose game was far from enough. Returning the ball to play, Diepeir gave it to Houston, literally passing it on his feet, and once again the attacking opponent was able to score in front of an unguarded goal. But there was still more than half an hour to go and coach Pedalisismi decided to make a change, which would prove successful. Ptirn Enripto inside, Upe Bainika outside. The left wing suffered a lot during the match, and Pedalisismi decided to strengthen the attack, centralizing Ptirn Lagios and deploying a 4-2-2-2. And it was in the seventy-eighth minute that Enripto gained the penalty then scored by Rooura. We couldn't believe it: ten minutes from the end, Talamia was 3-2 ahead. Pedalisismi thus immediately removed Lagios - overwhelmed by applause - to field Kof Vottetheis and try to defend the advantage. Vottetheis and Egemon did their job well, helped by the precious interventions of Timo Fulatto, our defense column. Talamia has thus managed to earn their first three points and now we are a total of four. Yes, maybe we will not qualify, but for us this adventure is worth much more!

"Did you hear, rest of Group 12? We are here too! And watch out for our deadly butterflies!"

Yes, Gian, thank you. But let's move on to tomorrow's match. A demanding trip, as we will face Aldaveria. They won four of the five games they played, scoring 11 goals. Of course, we too have managed to score as many but there is a drawback: on Friday 29 May our team will also play against the Democratic Republic of Cacusia, in the NSLeft Association Football Tournament. Pedalisismi has already announced that he will give precedence to NAFT and that therefore we will see the reserves in the field against Aldaveria, modifying the formation from 4-2-3-1 to 4-3-1-2. Here is the announced line-up:

4-3-1-2
#12 Psal Arpaz
#16 Para Eidoschema
#18 Eletheu Atele
#23 Stizo Stiba Stroma
#3 Eter Katek
#4 Ana Lambàn
#21 Kof Vottetheis
#15 Timo Theosbes
#17 Mesacro Diodos
#19 Neaniaõ
#11 Ptirn Enripto

Hoping that these experiments can lead us to a second, glorious victory, Gian and I greet you and give you an appointment tomorrow, only here on Pro Diorux Sports - Are you a sports devote? Pick up your TV remote!"

"I have decided that I will take this butterfly home, Auxe! I will love it and squeeze it and call it George. And if George misbehaves, I will punish him and stroke his wings the wrong way."

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - We are a quarter of the way through qualifying! By the dogs of El Patoto, where has the time gone? In this issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!-Extra we round up the most interesting snippets of the nation’s attempt to not win the World Cup at the first time of asking. Plus we have more Rúi de Los Rovas, and what ever happened to Díscolo? Remember him? Of course you don’t.

But first - what happened to Los Pitxileros in World Cup qualifying? Let’s fire up the Copametro to find out…

SCANT CHEER AS ACROBATIC WHOOPERS DOLE OUT A BEATING
TEQUILO 0-3 Cheergirls HT: 0-3

Location: Estadio Pablo Invocador Att: 53,585
SCORERS: Webster 10’ 31’ Milford 32’

In what was undoubtedly the worst performance in the history of Tequilo ever (all 17 games) Los Pitxileros capitulated early and never recovered at Estadio Pablo Invocador - the legendary Pablo himself would be turning in his grave, if he wasn’t alive and kicking and watching on with horror from the executive seats. Unnerved by the girls warm up routine which involved a lot of circus tricks and a peculiar form of the haka with whooping, smiling and intimidatory somersaults, the boys never turned up. It was all too easy for Meghan Banks and the teenage sensations from Hazel City High School. What are they even doing playing in a World Cup? Doubtless the Tequiloans were pondering this and other provocations as they watched the girls run rings around them.

In the end, managing to not concede any more in the second half, they could still have lost this by two or three times the final score. Coach Isaac Martí will be looking to put this one to bed rapidly, to paraphrase something mentioned by 17-year old striker debutant Tepa, who came on for a brief cameo at the end of the game. Huracán became the third player in Tequiloan history to be sent off after two yellow cards and will miss the next game, to be replaced by Noxochinoch, while Isaac Martí knows he has got to get another win on the board soon if this is not to become an embarrassing campaign for him. Fortunately two strikers return to the fold to give him some hope - Roxelio Toran and Urlegi Gorostola both back to fitness, with Roxelio straight in up front and Urlegi on the bench for this one.

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Starting Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Vasistan:
Teixidó | Zambo, Apeiztegui, Noxochinoch, Chicchan | Tün | Artechevarria, Tafalla (Capitan), Tutayan | Toran & Tlacolotl

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
What ever happened to Díscolo?

You could see the red mist descend before Díscolo’s eyes, something would click on - or more likely off - and the most-favoured defensive midfielder of Serpentina, real name Ollin Xoxoch Tlilpotonqui, would begin a slow interception path toward an unfortunate opposition striker who’s place on the field of play Díscolo had decided was no longer required. Like a steam train leaving the station his acceleration was ponderous but inexorable. The crowd would begin a low anticipatory hum that would build as he accelerated. Opponents who had met him before would scramble to get out of the way. Díscolo would sight his target, roll on up to him after a thirty-metre slow dash, and crunch into the poor fellow if they hadn’t managed to see him coming or take cue from the crowd. End of match, possibly end of season. Once or twice, end of career. He wasn’t much good at anything else, but he could tackle and he could steamroll. He could also argue, and he could fight. He was fearsome beyond measure and at Serpentina, he was adored. And then one day, when it all became too much and his own knees could no longer take the pounding he wanted to give out, Díscolo retired to his second career and third careers simultaneously; working with the highways commission building national road infrastructure, and writing philosophical articles on Xen & The Art of Motorway Maintenance - Xen being a meditative mind state of the Xicoan people from whom he is descended. His collected writings became a bestselling book, and though widely remembered as a fractious steamroller on the pitxi pitch, he continues to enjoy the quiet life driving an actual streamroller somewhere out there on a distant highway in urgent need of repair.

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QUARTER OF QUALIFIERS
World Cup Review

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A quarter of the way through qualifying for the World Cup, and let’s take a look at highlights and lowlights from the first few games of our debut.

UNPRECEDENTED TIMES

Well, it is Los Pitxileros first World Cup, so the story might be told through a series of unprecedented incidents - that began with the nation’s first defeat, in the first game, away to Petroslavenia, by a scoreline - 3-5 - that was very reminiscent of the Baptism of Fire when the country scored 45 goals in 11 games (undefeated). What followed was a first ever home game, an historic 3-3 draw with Atheist Democratic Freehold; and then, in game three, a first win in the World Cup: not a bad one either, with an impressive (if entirely fortunate) 1-0 win in Ko-oren. That also marked a more subjective first - probably the first game in which new coach Isaac Martí really managed to enact his more conservative game plan - the previous two games looking very much like the old coach Mauricio Nores’ more cavalier approach to defending. Game four was another draw, with Port Ember, and game five had two unprecedented records - the first time the nation had drawn two games in a row, and the first time Tequiloans had entered the Dreamed Realm, wherever that is. And finally, game six - well, worst streak (three without a win), worst result, 0-3, and first ever defeat against a bunch of cheerleaders. The home defeat to Cheergirls is one to forget, and arguably the first time Tequilo has failed to compete in a match. At all. For ninety minutes. Plus three.

Surely quarter two will pick up a bit.

GUNG-HO-GONE

Coach Nores, so impressive in the Baptism of Fire and so close to a famous title at the first attempt, stunned everyone by deciding to return to his full time job at his domestic club Motozintla FC. Stepping up to replace him was his former assistant both at Moto and with Tequilo, Isaac Martí, and from the outset he declared he would be working with a slightly less reckless attacking style. As mentioned, it took three games to really become noticeable, but what was (until the Cheergirls debacle) soon very noticeable was how much more resilient Los Pitxileros had become at the back. Certainly, goals have dried up too with less than a goal a game average after the first two matches - and this will be something to work on. Let us not forget this is an inexperienced team and the first quarter of the competition was the toughest with away games at Ko-oren and The Holy Empire. A points haul of six from a possible 18 doesn’t sound much but with only two defeats in there, Coach Martí will feel the team are on the right track.

CROCKED AGAIN

The much loved striker Roxelio Toran of Ciupa Azul barnstormed the group stage of the Baptism of Fire with 8 goals in 6 games before the disgraceful Havynwilde thugs kicked him out of the tournament, quite literally. Still he was the nation’s joint top scorer in that competition despite missing half of it. Returning to fitness in time for the start of qualifying, he was injured early in the opening defeat at Petroslovania and has been out ever since. He just is having no luck for the national team, but rumour has it he will be back in contention shortly. His replacement Tlacolotl has been superb in his stead to be fair - 8 in 7 in the BoF, a further 3 in 6 in the WC qualifiers - and what everyone really wants is to see if these two can play alongside one another. That could really be a sight to behold - so long as Roxelio can stay off the physio’s couch long enough.

DOING THE HOQUÉ-COQUÉ

A bright light briefly shone in Roxelio’s absence - in another first, veteran striker Urlego Gorostola of Polibio became the oldest debutant for the nation at 33 when he came on as a sub in game 2, and then the oldest new starter in game 3, the famous win in Ko-oren. Technically he’s the second oldest capped player, after Callañuapa, but remains the oldest debutant - both 33 on their debuts, Urlego was 65 days older on his. The striker has done the hoqué-coqué here, as they say in Tequilo - the lines of the famous dance translate approximately as ‘in-out, in-out, shake it all about’. Urlego came in, shook it all about, and then went out again in rapid fashion - picking up an injury that has ruled him out since the Ko-oren victory, in which he got the man of the match award in his only full game for the country. No spring chicken, he certainly made an impression and like Roxelio, returns soon to really give coach Martí options up front. We may start scoring again.

FIRST MAN WALKING

More precedents now as we reflect on Garaitz Minha’s brief contribution to Tequilo football history so far, after becoming the first man in an agave blue shirt to be sent off. The left back from CF Frantxizko-A proved himself a useful backup to first choice Patrick Zambo in the BoF, as well as filling in across the defence and even on the wing at one point; he looked set for another role as reliable utility man under Coach Martí until in one start with Zambo injured, he got himself a straight red for a headbutt seven minutes into the game in Ko-oren. The first man to take an early bath for his country, he got a three-match ban but also something of a let-off as the team somehow managed to steal a win in the game, their only one so far in qualifying. Since then Isidor Artechevarria picked up two yellows and his marching orders in the following home draw with Port Ember, and he’s the first man to do that for his country.

LAST MEN STANDING

We end less with a precedent than looking at the next little bit of history that may be made following the injury to Callañuapa in game 4, the home game with Port Ember. Only three players including the veteran Equipo Caimán defensive midfielder were ever-present through the BoF, and now only two remain - Unuiĝinta’s hardman centre back Haize Apeiztegui, the team’s vice captain; and it’s captain, the much loved attacking midfielder Mateo Tafalla of Motozintla FC. Who will be the last man standing? How will we cope if we miss either of them?

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RÚI de Los ROVAS
Rúi Raza & the family company are back - the fictional football comic strip!

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Read on to find out how Rúi decided to move the family business - the Raza Agency - onto a yacht in the harbour of the scenic tax haven of ‘Monte Carlo’, home of the once great football giants Monaco; a team like Rúi’s own legendary Blackburn Rovers now fallen on hard times. Roque suspects Rúi has a plan to invest, and build a club, but he knows Rovers fans will only accept the footballing dynasty investing in one team - can he convince Rúi to spend his retirement in Blackburn rather than Monte Carlo? Meanwhile, Roni introduces his daughter Rita - new to the business - to one of their most prized clients: Gareth Bale. But Rita is wondering if it is fair to give her the toughest job on the books at the moment, trying to find him a way out of superclub Real Madrid. Is great-grandfather Rúi at the bottom of this decision… trying to make her fall at the first hurdle because of his old-fashioned views about women in football?

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NEXT TIME
What’s Up In The Next Issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!

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Coming soon - We look at the top team from Maranco state and one of the big ’10-Nacional’ in Tequilo - mighty Resplendiente, 18 times state champions. Plus, does Rúi really want Adam Lallana on his books at the Raza Agency - and back in real life - what ever happened to Râmón Tüjânger, the beloved Farv and the ‘King of Cooperativa’?

[Delaclava]

WCQ, Match 6: Phoenixes hold their own against Jeruselem for a point

Dashaun Howard came up clutch as a substitute forward with an 88th-minute rebound goal, and Delaclava finished a back-and-forth game level with Jeruselem, by a scoreline of 3-3, in arguably Delaclava's best performance against a top-50 team to date.

"We put in a very strong effort, from start to finish," manager Tim Landers said. "We made some mistakes but had no long-term letdowns. Even with only a draw, we're satisfied with this match today. Jeruselem is a great team and we've been looking to put on this kind of performance since we started playing together.

"I'm very proud of what we stepped out and accomplished today."

Lukas Meyer extended his scoring streak with his eighth goal in six games to go with an assist, and Keaton Durbridge added a goal of his own along with an assist on the Howard game-tying score. Ryan Walters became the second Verceolan to earn a point with the Delaclav squad, with the original shot that was stopped by John Simo before Howard drove in the rebound.

"I'm relieved that I was finally able to play my role," said Howard, who recently was demoted from starting striker in favor of Declan Mullins. "It's internal pressure off myself, knowing that I can do what I was sent out there to do. And to do it in a way where we get the result we did, that's the best part."

Kelly Joseph and Zane Davis, the two defenders who have recently been elevated into starting roles, also looked strong in the first performances against stiffer competition, and each added their own first assist with the national team.

Howard's benching for Mullins was one of several personnel changes Landers made before the game against Aimena - Jared Thompson in at goalkeeper for George Ross, Davis the center back in place of the still-injured Valentin Gusev, and Brent Ritchie at defensive midfielder instead of Ryan Keating. The Phoenixes were impressive in a 3-0 victory in front of a home crowd at Jayji Stadium in Crystal Lake. But heading on a road trip to face the third seed of the group - that was a much stiffer challenge.

Landers additionally replaced the struggling Josh Torres at right back with Joseph. Noting that many of the substitutions were in favor of larger and more physical players, Landers explained, "We play a style where we can move plenty fast around the pitch to generate offense and recover on defense. I wanted to change things up, first and foremost, but this was a good way to see if we could go a bit more physical with both our personnel and our approach."

The first half was a track meet - little possession was established as both teams traded attacks at rapid fire. The backlines and goalies were initially up to the task, but it would be the Princesses who drew first blood as Reece Bannister found himself with only Thompson in front after Davis and Ritchie converged to stop Bran Cassina, who coolly found the open man. Thompson made a highlight-reel first save, a reflex dive to his right, which was nullified when the rebound came straight back to Bannister for the tap-in. A short while later, the Phoenixes tied the game twice in six minutes, taking the score from 1-0 to 2-2 in the blink of an eye. Although the frenetic pace somewhat settled down, the half would not be done for scoring, nor would Bannister; he found himself on a breakaway after correctly timing a run off a Jamie Damma steal and pass, and there was again little Thompson could do as Bannister approached, side-stepped in anticipation of the charging keeper, and passed the ball to the back of the net.

The second half wore on as both teams slowed down and favored possession over action, but at some point, Landers was looking for some way to break even once more. He started by restoring Keating to his original role in the 74th minute, replacing Ritchie. The move was effective as Keating was notably generating more chaos and ball action in the midfield, but the older Mullins and Dathan Ingram were tiring. Landers turned to Howard for some speed in the center and Walters for his ability to attack on the wing.

That set of substitutions proved decisive in the 88th minute. After a long Jeruselemite possession that was broken up with a deflection and a subsequent Delaclav throw-in, Durbridge took the throw from Cicak and led on Walters up the left wing. Walters initially sped down the sideline but found himself unchallenged and broke towards the box instead. Simo had left too much room on his near side and was forced into a recovery save when Walters aimed for that gap. The rebound came back to Walters, who instinctive tapped the ball to the middle. Howard ran onto it and confidently punched the ball into the back of the goal.

The Phoenixes smelled blood and spent little time celebrating, hoping to perhaps put one more goal up. But they were met with opposition as the Princesses opted to slow the action down and walk out with the draw, which happened a few minutes later as the final whistle blew.

"What a whirlwind," captain Durbridge said. "We gave the fans here, our fans at home, a great show. I can't wait for us to keep giving them more to cheer for each game."

The draw against 41st-ranked Jeruselem represents Delaclava's second point against a current top-50 squad, following a 2-2 draw against 34th-ranked Cosumar in the group stage at AOCAF 60. In top-50 matches this season, Delaclava has also lost to Starblaydia (5th, 2-0 at AOCAF group stage), Cassadaigua (9th, 3-1 at Wonder Cup GS), Taeshan (19th, 2-0 in friendly), Ethane (48th, 5-2 in friendly), and Darmen (26th, 5-2 in WCQ). The next such game looms large - a date with 4th-ranked Nephara at the aptly-named The Gauntlet, in the city of Treason.

"If we don't come in with our wits about us, it's going to be a long 90 minutes," Landers said.

But surrounding that daunting matchup, five low-ranked or unranked squads in a similar position as Delaclava make up the remaining matches in the first half of qualifying. While Delaclava sits as one of four teams with seven points, near bottom of the eleven teams realistically in the hunt, Delaclava's schedule has come largely against the top-tier opposition. The next few matches represent a great opportunity to climb up the table while others struggle with those same teams.

"Every team we'll play in the next few matches is a worthy opponent," Landers asserted. "But we've already stared down the beast in many ways. We're ready for what's coming in ways that other teams may not be."

"We're going to take this one match at a time," Meyer said. "But we also know the best-case scenario looks very good for us. That's our motivation to keep working hard, improving every single day, and staying focused on the opponent in front of us."

That next opponent will be Acronius, and the Phoenixes will return home to play them at DENFO Stadium in Salem. The capacity of 20,000 may not be nearly enough for all the fans whose interest is now piqued after today's result, but there is no doubt that the Phoenixes are rapidly building demand - the question is whether they can keep the quality football in supply.

Landers would not commit to any particular lineup for the Acronius matchup, saying, "They, and our next two opponents, will be tough, but I also think we have a deep roster where I can put a lot of different combos out on the field and we're going to have a good result. So if I can experiment a little bit and find the squad I send out against Nephara, that would be ideal."

Landers did drop one hint regarding the goalkeeper position: "George (Ross) has been a little bit hobbled. He got diagnosed with a hamstring tendonitis and so the rest has been valuable for the past two matches. He won't necessarily get the spot back automatically, but it's also not something Jared's (Thompson) won from him yet. Once George is 100%, I'm going to see which option looks stronger."

Landers also had an update on Gusev: "He's coming back to fitness quickly. He really got wrenched against the Stars worse than we thought. Nothing ever got torn, fortunately, but it's been a long and patient process for him to feel comfortable on his feet again. We're really going to look forward to having him back in the lineup."

Gusev, Ross, and all of the team's best players fully healthy will be a welcome presence moving forward. Now that the Phoenixes have hung with a team like Jeruselem for 90 minutes and come out with something to show for it, they'll surely look to repeat that success for the rest of this campaign and onward. The core of this team is still young - and while they're battling through tough qualifiers now, many of these same players could be sticking together to make the World Cup finals for the first time.

It's a thrilling thought, and after today, a thought that appears much more realistic.

Jeruselem 3-3 Delaclava

JER, Bannister (Cassina, D. Dallas) 13'. DEL, Durbridge (Meyer, Joseph) 21'. JER, A. Dallas (Castillo, Cassina) 25'. DEL, Meyer (Mullins, Davis) 27'. JER, Bannister (Damma) 43'. DEL, Howard (Walters, Durbridge) 88'.

Delaclava Lineup - Thompson; Cicak, Davis, Joseph; Girardi, Ritchie (Keating 74'), Durbridge; Campbell; Ingram (Walters 80'), Mullins (Howard 80'), Meyer.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas (nude) and Jeruselem coach Boris Lancaster at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Kate:
Hello, this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas or just Princess Kate, for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm with the Jeruselem coach Boris Lancaster once again. Of course, we're back home at Dazza Dallas Stadium for another World Cup 85 qualifier and we were on a two game losing streak. It's match day 6, with visitors from Delaclava.

Boris: Hello people of Jeruselem
Kate: We've had rocky start. Two wins, two losses and then the bye.
Boris: Yes yes, but we're not last.
Kate: By our standards, being last is not acceptable. It's being competitive and even threatening the leaders.
Boris: I understand the frustrations of yourself and other fans of the team. But I never promised to be the messiah.
Kate: But bottom half of the table isn't near what we really want

Boris: It's still early in qualification, things will get better.
Kate:
Let's have a look at results from Group 7 first. One the days where homes teams ruled, which is unusual for Group 7.
Sarzonia registered a home win, 1-0 over visitors Great Lausitz. Well, they should have won that one.
Competitive Solitaire weren't very competitive their own home game. In fact, more absent as visitors Nephara destroyed them 7-0 in one of the most lop-sided games in Group 7. Nephara are a good team but 7-0 is no joke, it was a message.
South Charlia finally got a point at home, holding visitors Welzat to 0-0 draw. I expected Welzat to win that one actually.
Aimena recoved from their loss to win at home against Acronius 3-2.
And Darmen won again, this time at home beating Simpralia 2-1.
What you think of those results Boris

Boris: Nothing particularly shockingor unexpected
Kate: But a 7-0 win by Nephara. Isn't that a worry? Isn't a a subtle message teams like us
Boris: I think Competitive Solitaire just had a bad day.
Kate: Let's get back to our game, against Delaclava who are a bit hard to predict like us.
Boris: They aren't a team to underestimate on their day.
Kate: Well, we managed 3-3 draw. Which I guess it is better than losing but hey can you not change the backline every game
Boris: I haven't found the right combination as yet. I have time.

Kate: What about the one we used in game one!
Boris: I guess I could do that again, maybe. I can't promise I will.
Kate: We're halfway in 1st half, surely you have an idea by now.
Boris: Not yet, still working out a working formula for the team line ups
Kate: Well at least we're scoring goals to keep us out of trouble
Boris: Yes, I got that part right.

Kate: So we got half the equation right then, you're saying?
Boris: Not quite, but I will work it out.
Kate: Well, there's 18 more games to sort that out. Just don't use all of them.
Boris: Everyone shouldn't worry, I have things under control.

Kate:
Well I hope you're right. Because the table as it stands doesn't look good for us.
Darmen lead the table on 15 points. Nephara 2nd on 13. Huayramarca 3rd on 10 with Welzat 4th on 10 as well.
We have three teams on 9 points, Simpralia Sarzonia Aimena. That's 5th to 7th.
And we're in 9th place with 7 points. Acronius and Delaclava and Competitive Solitaire are also on 9, in 8th and 10th. ompetitive Solitaire in 11th.
It's not looking all that rosy.

Boris: As I said, there's time to get up the table into the top 3 for us.
Kate: We have now an 8 point gap to the leader, which is like 3 games. We can't afford to fall further behind.
Boris: There's plenty of points for us. We can do it.
Kate: OK. We have away game next, hopefully back to a win.
Boris: Well I can't promise a win bu we'll do our best.
Kate: OK
Boris: Don't worry

Kate: Just to note, you had a "no female" interviewer policy for a while. Of course, that's changed.
Boris: I guess being manager of national team, you can't pick and choose who interviews you when you go out of the country.
Kate: But you don't do interviews anyway with anyone, unless you're forced to do them - like now.
Boris: Yes I'm legally obliged as part of my job to do this. But I'm not complaining.
Kate: There's no place to hide in your job.
Boris: Yes, I'm finding that one out. But being forced to talk to naked women is fine by me.

Kate: Yeah I thought that was the case. Well, that's it from him and me. We got a point but it's not good enough given our current position. We hope to do better, well ... him anyway.

OOC
Group 7
Sarzonia 1–0 Great Lausitz
Competitive Solitaire 0–7 Nephara
South Charlia 0–0 Welzat
Darmen 2–1 Simpralia
Aimena 3–2 Acronius
Jeruselem 3–3 Delaclava

[Riennic Isles]

Kanata Shiranami watched the game against Omerica unfold at Stade Just-Cartier, her face a study in stoicism. Gone was the shouting, the barracking that she had subjected her players to in the last several matches. She was well aware that her team were up against superior opponents - Omerica were not sixth seed for nothing, and even then, Kanata was not alone amongst the coaching team in feeling that their position in the pots did not reflect the true quality of the Incorrigibles. True, they had been outclassed by Vilita in their previous game - but then again, there really was no other team in the group that could hold a candle to the multiverse's number one team. If anything, George Kostas's players were probably champing at the bit to take their frustrations out on the Wavelets.

Kanata's prediction proved to be right on the money.

Just as Riena had dominated Southern Esportivan Union in their previous game, here they were in turn dominated by Omerica from the first whistle. It didn't take long for Minato to pick the first ball out of her net, Christina Falkirk accelerating past Tsukamoto and curling an unstoppable shot past the Riena goalkeeper inside the opening quarter of an hour. Swings and roundabouts, Kanata figured; Riena had already strung together three straight wins coming into this match, and it was only a matter of time before that streak was emphatically snapped in two by superior opponents. Not that she had expected anything different. Kanata took consolation in the fact that her players were at least fired up for the contest, chasing down every ball they could. There was definitely a gulf in class between the two sets of players on the pitch, but from the looks of it, there was no gulf in heart or desire.

Riena tried to stay in the game for as long as they could, but it was always going to be an uphill task against a slick, hungry Omerica desperate to get their own qualifying campaign back on track. The Omerican forwards peppered Minato's goal mercilessly, the overworked goalkeeper forced to single-handedly keep her side in it at times. Of course, the Riennese rearguard wasn't renowned for its solidity, and they conceded a second time just after the half-hour mark. This time it was the Omerican captain Red Bolton who did the damage, shimmying past Matsukai, who hadn't been paying attention to her player, and threading a slide-rule pass past the Riena defence to set George Palmeiro up for a simple close-range finish.

Two goals down on the road against clearly superior opposition, it would have been all too easy for Riena to collapse like a house of cards, just like they had done on the opening matchday against Legalese. Although her poker face hadn't betrayed her, Kanata had feared the worst after Palmeiro had opened his account for the evening. She knew all too well that a demoralising thrashing here could have far reaching repercussions well beyond the ninety minutes. The prospect of upcoming dates against Qasden, Krytenia, and Newmanistan loomed large in Kanata's thinking, and that was before factoring in the Wavelets' trip to Vilita that bookended the first half of the qualifiers. Kanata didn't know whether her players had the mental fortitude to survive a rout here, and she didn't dare think of the consequences if their form plummeted off a cliff on the end of a comprehensive loss.

Yet her team played with a quiet ferocity, as though determined to prove their manager wrong. Kanata didn't doubt that every single Riena player out on the pitch knew that it would take a minor miracle to overturn their deficit on the night, but even in the face of adversity, they played with rare courage and grit. There was to be no catastrophic implosion. The team gave a reasonably good account of themselves up until the half time break, somehow limiting the rampant Omericans to just the two goals. Kanata had quiet words with her team during the interval - no pressure, go out and play your natural game - and as soon as the second half started, her players responded by rallying strongly, playing as though a fire had been lit beneath them.

Cocoa Haneda, whom Kanata had trusted with a start ahead of first-choice Suenaga, danced her way into the Omerican area and was chopped down by Charity Kayode. The referee brought her whistle to her lips and pointed straight to the spot. With Aya Nakiri on the pitch, the result of the spot kick was never in doubt, Valentine Augustin sent diving the wrong way as the ball was emphatically dispatched to his right. Their lead slashed in half, the Incorrigibles seemed taken aback, almost as if they were shocked at the effrontery of these minnows who had had the gall to come at them after rolling over so obligingly in the first half, and the game evolved into a more even affair. Nakiri briefly threatened to restore parity, smacking a header against the crossbar, and Kanzaki had a firm header of her own tipped wide by Augustin, who was getting through quite a bit more work than he had done in the first half.

Even though Riena had somehow managed to carve out a foothold in the game, the class of the Omericans told once more, this time on the break. Put under pressure by the Riena forward line, Aristide de Felice dug out a clearance that dropped fortuitously for John Soares near the center circle. With most of the Riena midfield stranded upfield, the seasoned midfielder shielded the ball from Kirimiya without fuss, looked up, and bisected the Riena defence with a through ball. Jessie Beckett had a lot to do, but she did it with aplomb, drawing Minato and dancing around the grounded 'keeper before rolling the ball into an empty net. Still Riena refused to roll over for their more illustrious opponents. They kept going at Omerica, making up for their deficit in quality with sheer perseverance and bloody-mindedness. Kanata introduced Hijiri Sakuranami from the bench; her first contribution to the game was to send Soares sprawling on the pitch after a full-blooded fifty-fifty duel. It was a reminder that Riena were down, but they weren't giving up just yet. And so it proved when the Wavelets reduced the deficit for a second time. Kaede Igarashi found Flare Steiner out on the right, the Omericans guilty of a moment of defensive indiscipline as they allowed Steiner the time and space to arrow a blistering effort into the top left corner.

At 2-3 down, those of a Riennese persuasion might have been forgiven for hoping that the Wavelets could snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat. But there was to be no unlikely comeback, no final twist in the tale of two unmatched teams. Riena had run themselves into the ground, bruised and wearied as the game headed into its final moments. Sensing that their opponents were flagging, Omerica pounced and made sure of the points with ruthless efficiency. A boilerplate Palmeiro corner, delivered straight into that no-man's land between penalty spot and six-yard box; Minato flapped, Elise Bianchi soared through the air like a trout, and that was that. And yet, Kanata made a point of embracing every single one of her exhausted, sweat-drenched players as they trooped wearily off the pitch, dejection writ large across their faces.

There would be a time for criticism and self-reflection. This was not it.

[Krytenia]

Gwaedlyd Ofnadwy
By Rami Niblick in New Cefn

THERE'S an old phrase to describe a truly terrible football team or performance - "couldn't even beat a pub side". Never in anyone's wildest dreams would it be expected that that particular phrase be literally true of the Krytenian national team. Sadly, though, it is. The "nation" of Drunk People at the Local Tavern - which is, at least, exactly what it says on the tin - came to Krytenia basically hoping to get blasted on foreign booze and have a good time. They came away having got blasted on foreign booze, had a good time...oh, and with only their second point of the campaign.

It shouldn't have been this way. True, Stephen Mariner was ruled out with an ankle strain, but in Cormac O'Neill they have a more than able deputy in the midfield fulcrum position. Krytenia dominated for most of the game, though that isn't difficult when your opponents are running around the pitch in what is apparently some random order. The only one who looked particularly lucid was Equestrian Breeze...but then, she's got the constitution of a horse. Oddly, though, the seeming randomness and sheer unpredictability of their actions seemed to actually help. Maybe it's one of those drunken clarity things. The Dragons had the majority of the ball, though, and eventually made it count shortly before half-time when Ally Frosticus' stumble allowed Selly Kennedy through on goal, with the Stanton man slotting the ball neatly between the advancing Breeze's hindlegs.

The second half went much the same way, for the most part. O'Neill opened his account with a fine free-kick, and the Dragons looked comfortable until the game flipped on its head in the seventy-ninth minute. Star Blaydia's "tackle" on O'Neill was a borderline war crime, and led to the Stanton midfielder being stretchered off with what turned out to be a double leg fracture. Blaydia was immediately dismissed, but the damage was done. James Pootsman came on, but he's no midfield general, and the Dragons collapsed around their centre. The ten men took advantage, Kita Hinode scoring with four minutes to go; as injury time approached, it managed to get even worse for the home side. Hinode came steaming through the defence, only for Damien Carpenter to rush out and bundle the Drunkards' man to the ground just inside the box. Nepharim referee Martel Streiber reached for the red card for the second time in the match, rightfully sending off Carpenter for his rush of blood to the head. Hinode converted the penalty himself, sending substitute goalkeeper Serge Duprée (on for Mendonca after the sending-off) the wrong way with the last kick of the game.

The shock result, allied with the loss of their first-choice keeper, has tempered Krytenian expectations ahead of their next match. The Dragons travel to Yeaddin to take on the world's top-ranked side hoping for points, but expecting only to make it competitive for a highly-fancied Vilita side. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 2
Kennedy 43
O'Neill 56

DRUNK PEOPLE AT THE LOCAL TAVERN - 2
Hinode 86, 90+4 (pen)

[Tamgu]

A disasterous start...

Versus South Newlandia, 4-3 L
SNL: Irving 10' 28' , McMora 36', McCabe 45+2'
TMG: Leima 33', Nekir 61', Soros 65',
It's sad that this match is the best of the four. The relatively young and defense-orientated team slotted one counter-attack goal after the other. Three goals to our name were the only thing we were able to salvage from the match.

Tamgu, as usual, started with a fast pace and quickly carried the play to the Elephants' half of the pitch. After a few failed attacks Brandon Irving received the ball from a long pass and found himself with no defender in front of him. He didn't think about how to hit the ball, all he wanted was to score a goal. So he smashed it, shot the ball way faster than the keeper could react. 1-0. This opportunity was only one of the many he found. Finnley Wallis' pass to him at minute 28 brought him into a similar position. Irving knew the keeper expected a hard shot, so he simply slid it between the legs of the man between the posts. 2-0. Hot-headed Aleida Leima was fuming, and when he gets angry he usually tries to score long goals. His magical foot did its job again and a wonderful shot that curved over the tall man, Trischuk, found the net. 2-1. At this point in the match, Leima and Wallis were in a skill competition, where they would try their hardest to prove they were the better CAM. Wallis made a strong point with a corner he delivered to Patrick McMora, who then made the net bulge again. 3-1. South Newlandia wasn't satisfied with this lead, so at the end of the first half, they caught Tamgu sleeping and played it to the striker Simon McCabe who had no difficulties giving his team the fourth goal.

The second half began with a roar from the Tamguna supporters, the away stand started making more noise than the hosts. This encouraged the men in orange and green to attack more intensely. The defensive control South Newlandia had seemed to have evaporated, Tamgu kept on shooting and shooting in search of the three goals which would give them at least 1 point. With a quick pass play in minute 61, Nekir found himself in front of the keeper with the ball, he had no luxury to fail it, and he did not. 4-2. Not so long after, the Hawks won a corner, which was headed in by the towering Soros. 4-3. At this moment in the match the Newlandian fans were silenced. It looked like there was no stopping the away team. They came again at the minute with a very peculiar number, one that could be read the same when it's upside down. Everyone held their breath as Soros took his shot. Some even closed their eyes. Then, they heard the sound. That was it, they had done it. It was euphoria for all the away stand and the team. But wait. No. It's canceled. Offside flag is raised. They ask for VAR, no chance the referees say. the celebration's over and they have 21 more minutes to try to score another goal. No use. The defense had been broken but the keeper was convinced not to concede. The referee blew the whistle for the last time.
whoops

Versus Pasarga, 1-0 L
PAS: Jager 50'
Other: [] Konar 41'
This one isn't a surprise, however, it would've been nice to get a draw or something...

The wanderers showed their class from the first minute of the match until the end of the 90. Tamgu fought well in the first half, the home support helped them greatly. The Pasargan defense leaked a few times, giving Tamgu good opportunities to score, only to be denied by the post and the keeper. Pasarga also gave the Tamguna defense a hard time, However, Sami Felter wasn't willing to repeat his performance from the previous game. The main event of the first half is the red card shown to Pate Konar after a handball incident, leading to a penalty. Felter showed his reputation for saving pens isn't just talk and denied Müller. The first half ended with both teams dissatisfied with their performance. A change of tactics was needed for either side.

Tamgu replaced Konar with Larsin before the play resumed. The Wanderers had an excellent beginning to the second half. Julia Müller, who was denied a goal in the first half was determined to take revenge. An opportunity arose for her at minute 50, a pass from Maria Voross found Müller, and she had no difficulties scoring this time. Tamgu directed their focus to not concede more goals, as their attack had already been reduced by one man. This led to Pasarga's offensive pressure to get more intense, forcing The Hawks to again reduce their attack by replacing Striker Nekir with Center-back Lekser. The rest of the match was a siege on Tamgu's goal, which Tamgu successfully defended, and even found a few opportunities to score, with no goal actually being scored. A thrilling match came to an end with both sides exhausted.
Versus Eraman, 3-0 L
ERA: Buayan 49', 51', 66'
This match was pretty disappointing, a team not too much more skilled than us pulled off a 3-0 win. The exhaustion left from the Pasarga game really showed.

Eraman started the game with intense pressure in front of the Tamguna goal, had a good corner opportunity missed by hitting the post, one free-kick to the top corner got saved by Felter, a goal-line clearance was made by Marke Larsin, who replaced red-carded Pate Konar. The men in orange and green were now also in sweat. 2 changes were made in the first half due to the exhaustion carried over from the Pasarga game. Eraman had their goal canceled by the referee in the 33rd minute. Kudrat Saputra, the goalscorer got pretty upset over this decision and received a yellow card alongside his teammate Suara Petara, the niece of the coach. Guess which one got scolded harsher. The end of the first half was a false security for Tamgu, they very well knew they couldn't keep it up in the second half.

So it started. One last change was made, and the siege was about to begin. Would they be able to hold it? No. They collapsed immediately merely 4 minutes after the whistle. That was not the end of it, immediately after they scored again, waltzing through the defense who couldn't keep up with them. This lead was enough to make them content, maybe it was out of pity, because the fatigue could definitely be read from the faces of the Hawks. 15 minutes later, a free-kick was scored, and that was the last shot on target for the match. Eraman tried to score again but they seemed to have dropped their shooting boots somewhere, as they started missing every shot after the third goal.

Versus Ottoman Syldavia, 0-0 D
This match ended our losing streak but not our point-losing streak. The overperforming Ottoman Syldavia Team extended their unbeaten streak in a match we really should've won.

The Tamguna team spirit was broken in the first three matches, and they really couldn't find enough attacking morale to cause much threat to the newcomers. The match started slowly, continued slowly, and ended slowly. A total snooze-fest. I wish there were something for me to write here but 6 shots total was taken the whole match and only 3 found the target. Nothing to see here. Move on. No I'm not lazy you are.

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Baggieland 3 – 6 Starblaydia FT (0 – 3 HT)

For the match report, please click on the link below.

https://youtu.be/3NSQJujkztc

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Ronnie Regis: (51’).
Jeff Richardson (55’).
Bomber Robson: (58’).

Possession: 41%.
Corners: 4.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 4.
Bomber Robson: 3
Ronnie Regis: 2.
Ray Brunt: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 8.
Ray Brunt: 3.
Bomber Robson: 3
Ronnie Regis: 3.
Jonas McAuley: 1.
Chris Barlow: 1.

[Gopnikea]

Arktischer Park

Sankt Konrad - Gopnikea
Result: 2 - 0 (Iskko 44’, 67’)
Posession: 61% / 39%

Gopnikea has unfortunately lost against their next competitor, Sankt Konrad. Many fans have been left disappointed after having high hopes for Gopnikea to win against their next competitor. Iskko of Sankt Konrad has scored two impressive goals against Gopnikea.

Coach Bestos: What the hell happened to you, Garrison? You did great last game.

Garrison: I’m very sorry, coach, I got a spasm in the middle of the game, after I blocked Kreuzberg’s shot.

Coach Bestos: I don’t want to see this happen ever again, am I clear?

Garrison: Yes.

Coach Bestos: Now, with Banguero’s performance, it was satisfying.

Banguero: Thanks! I tried my best.

Coach Bestos: Don’t be too happy, though. You could have done better and tied with Sankt Konrad, if you hadn’t missed those two shots.

Banguero: I’m very frustrated that I couldn’t get the ball through.

Coach Bestos: That’s why we’re going to train your accuracy right now.

Banguero: When do I start?

Coach Bestos: Right now. Get your stuff and go to the field in half an hour.

Banguero: Alright then.

~2 hour timeskip~

Coach Bestos: You trained well, so when we play against our next competitor, I expect you to get those shots in the goal.

Banguero: I will try very hard to get the ball to go in the goal instead of hitting the post.

Coach Bestos: That’s the spirit! Now go home and rest.

[Barunia]

The Scarlet Standard

Ok, so the Suns lost away to Patistan. Not the end of the world, although it would help, greatly, if Cassadaigua and Kelssek would hurry up and lose as well. Sargossa did lose to the minnows of Xuzaqazkxy, or whatever the fuck they call their unpronounceable country.

So, analysis time. What are the Barunians doing right, and what are they doing wrong?

Offence: 5 goals against Olastor, 4 against Timuria. So that’s all working well, and I’m loving this Elwin, Swan, Moorhouse trio. Early signs show Elwin might be the best forward this country has produced in a long time.

Defence: Piss poor. 4 goals in against Olastor, 3 against Patistan. So we come to Barunia’s achilles heel. Somehow, switching to a back four instead of three has made things worse. Maybe it is because there’s another incompetent footballer to add to the confusion. Let’s look at the back four. Trask, Elliot, Moreno, and “wtf I’m captain” Faulkner. None of these are names you hear the Scarlet Army cheering, simply because we don’t care about them. They’re not our heroes. None of them have done anything on the pitch worth praising. They’re perfectly ordinary footballers, but the World Cup requires exceptional footballers.

But the experience, I hear you cry! They were all here in World Cup 83. True, but there is another truth: We don’t talk about WC83. We have erased it from our minds, or at least tried to. You played in 83? So what? You want us to celebrate the fact that you played in what was probably the worst team ever to take the field for Barunia. Even the NFB seems to have forgotten about it. Adam Johnson, they said, coached the Suns in WC83. No he fucking didn’t. If you check ( and I had to check, like I say, I have put this shitshow out of my mind), Kassandra Wainwright (aka former Suns midfielder Kass Berry) coached Barunia in 83. She did such a crap job the BFA begged Johnson to come back for 84. Well, that worked out.

Let’s talk about the coach. Roalnd Barrios is described as a Sargossan traditionalist. Now to be honest, I’m not sure what that means, being more familiar with Barunian football, but I have been informed it generally requires a lot of defenders. Well, check to that, with the defensive midfielder adding to the back four. But they’re not playing very defensively. The outside defenders are going on runs up the side whenever they have the ball, and not getting back fast enough. And Obando is too far forward in the press, she’s practically playing at centre midfield. So effectively the team is operating at 2 defenders, even though there’s 5 on the books.

These problems are understandable though. Wiggens developed his double diamond formation, which would be further enhanced by Ruskin into the Barunian classic style. Johnson mimicked these without mastery. Now we have Barrios, who has his own way of doing things. Every Barunian coach has been influenced in some way by the system Wiggens developed during Barunia’s first world cup, 20 cycles ago. Barrios brings a fresh approach, based on a different football tradition. Hopefully the defence, so used to the Barunian way, will be able to adapt.

One other important thing about Rafael Barrios. In World Cup 78, Sargossan football was in trouble. The team had dropped out of the world 100, and were not looking like finals contenders. Enter Barrios, who took them to the finals, topping the group no less, then pulled off a repeat in the next campaign. Barunia now find themselves in a similar position, ranked at 117. Barrios could well be the man to pull this team out of the pit and back to greatness. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.

All I have to say, I don’t want these posts going on too long. Next up for the Suns is the Mann Clan at Sam Garcia, which on paper should be a resounding victory for the home team. A loss to Kelssek is expected, and a loss to Patistan is acceptable, but we really can’t afford to lose to these small teams.

See you in Northport SB for the match, and until next time, stay safe and go Suns!

Troggs out.

[HUElavia]

HUElavia marches over Monglechabagd in an Impressive Win!

HUElavia 3-1 Monglechabagd
(Sissoko 10', Villca 38', Smirnov 69' | REDACTED 55')

HUElavia came into Matchday 6 with a simple message: "Win and get into a Qualifying Spot." This was the attitude that the players and fans came into the match versus Monglechabagd at Cog Stadium, in Caghia, the capital of the Cog (Vietnamese) Community in HUElavia, with the stadium being recently built and opened a few years prior, finally being baptized by a visit from the National Football Team. The stadium was sold out, and the match saw the Home Alternative uniforms being used for the first time in HUElavia. The B-Team was used for the match, with goalkeeper Ricardo being put under the sticks while wearing the Captain's Armband.

The match kicked off and HUElavia displayed attack and strength from the start. The opening goal would come in the 10th minute, when a cross from Conti on the left met the head of Sissoko, who headed it past REDACTED to make it 1-0, with Sissoko celebrating with the team while the crowd went crazy. Monglechabagd would try to counter this goal with chances of their own, but strong defending and excellent goalie skills by Ricardo prevented this. Eventually, the second goal would come in the 38th minute, when Conti once again would send a low pass to Villca, who gave a low shot to slot it past REDACTED and into the goal, making it 2-0. Villca celebrated with the team while the crowd went crazy with the goal. Monglechabagd tried to take control on from a few occasions, but to no avail. The first half ended 2-0 in favor of Los Amarillos.

The second half came, and Monglechabagd went on the attack, giving shots left and right. This would eventually lead to them capitalizing on their chances in the 55th minute when REDACTED send in a cross into the box, allowing REDACTED to head it past Ricardo and into the goal to make it 2-1 for the visitors. HUElavia did not enjoy that moment, and went fully on the attack for several minutes. This finally culminated on a corner taken by Conti to be headed into goal by Smirnov in the 69th minute to make it 3-1. The crowd went crazy once more while Smirnov had a face of satisfaction of redeeming herself after her defending in the 3-2 loss on Matchday 3. Monglechabagd tried to score but all attempts were snuffed out as HUElavia took the victory.

With the victory, HUElavia move up to 2nd Place with 15 points (5-0-1 record), being 2 points above Xanneria, who had their bye week for this matchday. HUElavia will play against Lo Santano for Matchday 7 and will use the Away uniform, along with the same XI against Monglechabagd being used. Fans feel confident to get another win.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Electrum]

The Turnip: BREAKING - The true nature of Cocoa-bo revealed!
by Sweet-T, citizen journalist

The Turnip comes today with Breaking News regarding the true nature of Cocoa-bo.

We finally understand the true nature of this insidious drink. This publication is now a COCOA-BO TRUTHER PUBLICATION.

Our evidence? Look no further to the Electrumite national football team manager - Lboaisa Akarelm.

Does that name sounds oddly familiar? That's right, a former forward of the Vilitan team is currently the manager of the Electrumite team! Akarelm has been supplying the national team with a highly addictive and dangerous Cocoa-bo drink! Many on the Electrumite team have been spotted drinking the milky-brown substance at their hotel, while training, in the street and even at the natatorium!

In our previous appearance at the World Cup we made it to the quarterfinals, now we are mid table during qualification. We are about to face the two highest seeds in the next two matches, and it's not looking good. It's no surprise that the Electrumite national team is failing... the sole inference we can draw from these observations is that the COCOA-BO is a performance-diminishing drink!

Indeed, if our 4-0 loss to the no-one-knows-the Soracana Islands is anything to go by, our team should be drinking less Cocoa-bo! Did you see how Seb, the sentient energy ball of the team, fried one of the poor Soracanans while contesting the ball, resulting in an immediate red card and a penalty goal for the other team? Seb wouldn't have made that mistake if it wasn't intoxicated by the performance-reducing effects of an entire barrel of COCOA-BO drunk right before the match!

If it really were performance enhancing, the Electrumites would be in first or second place and in the hunt for qualifying into the World Cup Proper! We can only assume that Sir Barsanuphius the Bald has a secret agenda - he is secretly wanting to ban the COCOA-BO so he can have all the chocolatey goodness all to himself when he goes into hiding late at night in his hermetic monastery. We know he is speaking with such little perspicacity that the entire multiverse is making fun of him.

We call on Sir Barsanuphius to admit his lust for the delicious crushed up remnants of cocoabo bird feathers mixed with milk and to give up the charade that it is a performance-enhancing drink!

It should be said that Akarelm has no chance of being removed from the team any time soon, and that all usage of bolding, italics and underline are meant to be gratuitous.

[The Jovannic]

At a local tavern in Jovannica

Another loss my friends. Our team's recent form is dwindling.

It's not their fault, they surpassed themselves already!

Well it's going to end badly.

Don't be a pessimist! look on the bright side! the team played better!

Than last match? Ha! I bet Chromichatika played better in their first few games than that!

Well...I'm sure they will do better against Terre Septionale or something.

Yes... Definitely better.

Well.. what do you think Gothal Mathee is doing?

What else? Training his team of course!

Well... his personality is weird. Could he dancing to some weird song.

He we'll never do that

A weird man starts shouting "bet on the time Gothal Mathee starts dancing!"

Maybe I was wrong.

starting eleven
Joshua Li, Maruo Mulchaio, Raye Eng, Kallin Yustat, Io Castra, Stockton Lelop, Gavon Simoli, Thomas Behine, Sami Ning, Ianu Fathe, Jovan Ilohil

[Sharktail]

GROUP 5 MATCHDAY 6

Valladeras-1
Alexandre (m '56)

---

Sharktail-1
Nik akif (m '49)

Line up
Ahmad
Batuil
Azmi (sub m '57)
Salaman
Ashaari
Afif (sub m '68)
Azmer Ishak
Nik akif
Fikri
Gaby
Sulimani

Sub
Hidawi (m '57)
Chandra (m '68)

Sharktail save from humalitation after tied Valladeras 1-1 in game 5 of qualifier.Sahami squad did a good job just allowed Valladeras to score only one goal in this match.Valladeras failed to take the home advantage while playing in front of their own fans.All credit have to be given to Ahmad who save all the on target shot by opponet.The credit also can be given yo dfender who keep blocking and cutting their attacking.The worst side in this match is attacking side,they strugling to move into the penalty area.Gaby and Sulimani total just make 6 shot,4 of them outside penalty area.Just 2 shot from both of them are on target.

In the first half,all two team played slow and boring.Not much attacking happen,and the shot attempt by both team mlstly off target.Entering the second half Sharktail firstly break the score after Nik akif scored a header defeat opponet keeper.The advantage not last long after Alexandre tied the game back with a goal in minute 56.Both team keep attacking but all their attack cannot score any goal.Match end with Valladeras and Sharktail draw 1-1.

Match 6.
Facing the macabess,a team who start a campaign with good performance,Sahami have to think a special strategies to make sure sharktail can win all 3 points.In gk position Sahami seem to like using Ahmad as the starter.Azmi will stay as centre back.Even he has past his prime,hia experince surely helping this team a lot.In the mis,badhri will once again ruled out from the team.So the mid may keep rotate.In attacking side Gaby will stay as main striker,lead this team.For the second strijer spot,Sahami keep rotating 3 other striker.He may choose to play other duo in the game against Adsuri to give the starter a rest.

[Nephara]

Competitive Solitaire 0 - 7 Nephara
(4-4-2) 20 - Provost; 2 - Sanger, 22 - Lockheed, 6 - Brosch, 19 - Muscadin; 13 - Saroszi (7 - Westerveld 59'), 4 - Shone, 21 - Moxham (8 - Chalk 67'), 16 - Deventer; 14 - Tzorvas, 10 - Metzger (17 - Avetisyan 80')
Goals: Tzorvas 4' 55', Moxham 26', Metzger 32', Muscadin 42', Westerveld 77', Avetisyan 89'

THE HERALD
HISTORY OF THE PREMIERSHIP PART 3: THE ROCK
Leonora Fischer

It is the final day of the Cycle 55 campaign, and all eyes are on the city of Treason. In the red side, the Stags can win their fourth title just as long as they can beat Crisisbless. They started the offseason by losing manager Reinhard Shale to Buyan, and star striker Cheney Bittencourt to a flash opportunity in Valladares he will never quite fulfil. The former has been replaced by Gethin Ramsey, Nephara's legendary Baptism of Fire manager, who will later become the first manager to take three nations to the World Cup finals.

Bittencourt has not been replaced. Instead, Elior Schneider - a Taijan international who became a fan of the Stags from abroad and leapt at the chance to play for them - would need to step up and fill his shoes. This proved a step too far, but he's been serviceable enough. To his side, Lily Schindler, one of a handful of locals, along with Cathy Stokes and Markus Anderton, who will retire one-club men. But Anderton has taken a graceful step towards the sidelines this season, because the Premiership just signed the captain of the Osarius national team.

It is difficult to overstate just how big a deal this is. Osarius are flying high on both club and country level. Roque Acosta is just twenty-eight years old. Acosta has undeniably taken a step down from Firewood City, a steady side in the LigAnaia, which was in turn set to take up the mantle of the multiverse's best sooner rather than later. Roque Acosta will sit at the base of the Osarian midfield when they win the World Cup in the summer. Roque Acosta will sit at the base of the Osarian midfield when they win the World Cup after that, and score the decisive fourth goal to win it.

Treason will win if they can beat Crisisbless. A tough ask, but the Heelers are nevertheless in the echelon below. Elsewhere in Treason, Chatswood are hosting Brinemouth. It is just their fourth season in the Premiership, having marked their first by setting a record for red cards in a Premiership season. Their outspoken manager, Emery Lineker, is suspended, but so is Brinemouth midfielder, Christon, and the indomitable Darek Norgen. If Treason had a Darek Norgen, they'd have the title sewn up by now; he has scored 26 to Schindler's 18 and Schneider's 14. The Dockers know that they will need to win to have a chance of their three-peat.

Chatswood, unusually but usefully, manage to stand off Brinemouth and keep them at arm's length. Flaccus hits Crisisbless on the break, Diandra Ballard - a Treason homegrown player herself - can only get fingers to his strike on the edge of the area. Chatswood leftback Rhys Dundalk hurls a long throw into Brinemouth's area, nobody deals with it, and their midfield rock Mikko Haagensen - the final piece of the puzzle that has pushed them to the brink of UICA qualification - slams home his belated first goal for the club. If it stays like this - if either result can stay like tihs...

Crisisbless take the upper hand in the second half, and worse, the Stags' veteran winger, Catheline Harper, hobbles off. Cheney Portsmouth, whose greatest act for the club has been getting headbutted by William Čalrek, comes on. A Crisisbless player scores, Brigid Kestrel... but she's on loan at Extreme Hills at the time. Stephen Mahoney comes off the bench for Brinemouth; two minutes later, Brinemouth are level. Felix Schwarzenegger is just a poor shadow of Norgen, but he's there where it matters, and a young Elaine Ashdown - who will partner Rainsford in 74, and soon reverse Acosta's move by heading to Hastmead Diamante - drives home a second, right after Crisisbless have Espen Knutsen put them level. Fifteen minutes and it all slips away. Stahlburg City fans laugh. Brinemouth lift their third straight title, on goal difference.

Strangely, Acosta gets snubbed throughout the awards. The Player of the Year is Rachael Loxley, who has overachieved with Goodfeather, while Chatswood's Mikko Haagensen gets to be debutant of the year. They have finished fourth and seventh, impressive as natural lower-midtable sides at best. Rubbing salt in the wound, both play in his position. Perhaps the Rock's dominance of games has been so quiet, casual, as to seem only natural. Just the way of things. Or perhaps his slightly slow start, his need to acclimatise to the league's windswept brutality, the fact that it took a couple goes to master the bitter winter chill of a Tuesday night at the Hammer in Stahlburg.

Next season, there will be no room for doubt.

People cry out for the Stags to buy a striker; it doesn't eventuate. Instead they pull out their usual comfort move and, for the fourth time, sign South Laithland's best player. This time it's Morgan Ashdown, while Esther Cardiff will begin to phase out Cathy Stokes at leftback. Calliope Katskalidis and Tanith Rainsford are both promoted to the senior team for the first time. They will later go on to start, and win, the World Cup 74 Final. Brinemouth have a quiet window. Nobody is entertaining the prospect of any other club winning; after all, Treason and Brinemouth were locked nineteen points ahead of the three teams on 77 points, third through fifth. Certainly, nobody is talking about either Sabrefell 'giant'; they finished 9th and 10th last season. Aries Chariots are the big dog in town, and on a good day, Raven River might overtake them too.

56 feels different from the start. Brinemouth and Crisisbless put a real feather in the Nepharan cap with a collective three wins and a draw over Valhallan sides in the UICA tournaments, while Treason begin their bizarre rivalry with Blau-Weiss Pallstadt, their perennial opposition who they will later manage to play six times in a year. Southfell mark their return to the Premiership with a genuine UICA challenge that only comes unstuck towards the end, eighth place off the back of returning hero and BoF champion Dale Brightley. Chatswood mark the best season in their history by coming fourth and winning the Cup 3-1, Emery Lineker the obvious manager of the year. Sabrefell Athletic are back; they climb to third, and suddenly seem like a threat again. They are eight points ahead of Chatswood, six behind Crisisbless... who are nine points, in turn, behind Treason. For the first time, a Premiership side has cracked 100 points, and it wasn't even close. The Stags had an eleven-point lead by the halfway mark. They didn't need a new striker; they had Kurtis Quinn waiting in the wings, a sprightly local who has an uncanny knack for springing into action at the last, decisive moment, who wins an unreasonable amount of headers for his 5'8" frame and seems to put them all into the top corner. Most of all, though, they have the Rock. This time, he gets his rightful POTY gong.

They aren't about to quit there, either. Unfortunately, an era sometimes remembered as that of Treason against Brinemouth as the duopoly only truly sees a year or two with them both at their peaks. Last season, the Dockers were poor by their standards, finishing fifth. This season, yet another erratic transfer window fails to overhaul the squad as they are left unexpectedly crippled by the departure of Elaine Ashdown, whose two seasons left a deep mark, though it is a quiet offseason in general with Athletic winger Ole Oehman . The most intrigue comes in the form of the arrival of Vermillion Wanderers, in the Conference - then the fourth tier - just six years prior. They have ascended at a terrifying rate, and thanks to the goals of giant Rook Colfer, they will stay at this level for three years.

For the other Vermillion, the Rage, this is a wonderful season. Despite predictions that they would just try to outscore teams with no real plan beyond that, they managed to control games with the kind of dominant possession football that Brinemouth... completely forgot how to play this season. Vermillion made an unlikely title tilt, and came third. Parrhesia almost got relegated, reversing the status quo in the city. Brinemouth went ten games without a win, culminating in a spectacular rant in front of the press in which Larissa Garrotte hung her players out to dry. Athletic continued their resurgence to fourth, while the Moths resolutely remained mediocre in 12th. Now at least one Sabrefell side was back, and Crisisbless appeared ready to compete as well.

But this was still the Rock's era. Yet again, Treason would win the league; yet again, Kurtis Quinn would end as top scorer; yet again, Roque Acosta was player of the year. Treason all-but-mathematically had it clinched with a game to spare. They did Newrook a favour by relegating Leichhardt, but in a rollercoaster turn of events, the Rooks were unable to lift their heads above water... except that AFC Integabad reached the top four of the First Division, while under administration, and then folded. Newrook may have finished 21st, but they were reprieved. And this good mood they took to the NFA Cup Final... against Treason. And somehow, Markus Beckett - a hero for Chatswood - was set up by Maxine Lynwood to drive home the only goal of the game and clinch it for the Rooks. Treason were denied a triple through a game they should have won, though at least sealed not only the title but Nephara's first CEDC, edging Kingsgrove in a brutal affair.

What on paper looks like simply the era of the Treason - Brinemouth duopoly was much more than that. It was one club rising to three seasons of perfection, and another ruthlessly seizing the initiative the moment they had the opportunity. It was the fall of the Sabrefell clubs, the supremacy in the capital by the Chariots, and the rise of obscure sides like Goodfeather and Chatswood. It was the era where journeymen like Andrey Rettinger and Coalan Bray could make a name for themselves, but the league was also finding genuine stars, trading on an even level with other sides. Daniel Kruse, latest in a string of excellent Athletic centre-halves, was to leave for Firewood City for 11m... and Treason would buy Osarian international striker Marco Puntoriero for them for 10m. The duopoly was over, and that was a good thing, for the era was soon arriving where Nephara would need more than two top clubs. The dead cycle was about to be pushed out of the picture.

[Cassadaigua]

The Royal Family- Princess Crystal
by Hannah McCarthy, Concord Heights Times Historian

She missed her chance to be Queen of Cassadaigua by one year, and could have been as well known of a figure today as Queen Cassie II. Today, Princess Crystal is generally unknown outside of the Matriarchy to anyone other then those who have taken the time to study the royal family. Crystal was the third child of Queen Courtney I, coming after Caitlyn and Cassie, and was born just one year after today’s Queen. Her two older sisters could not have been any more different, so where did Crystal fall into place with all of that?

Growing up as the third child, Crystal knew there would be very little chance for her ever to take over the throne, but also knew that she would not have to live a normal life, either. As a product of this, Crystal exhibited qualities of each of her sisters at times. She was a smart girl, and eager to learn in school, but also would try to use her position to gain preferential treatment over her teachers in the classroom, which was the same elite private school that all members of the Royal Family attend. This began in fourth grade, when her teacher at the time, Nicole Lonnsdale said in remembrance, “Towards her peers, Crystal was a good kid. She was a young girl who wanted to make friends with everyone, and would not tolerate any kid in the classroom being treated in a negative role. She took a leadership role in that regard. The problems with her came when she was by herself and no one around. There were often times where she would stay behind when kids went off to something like recess to tell me that if I didn’t do certain things that she wanted that she would tell her mother, and then of course, remind me that her mother was going to be the Queen of Cassadaigua.” Lonnsdale said that she would then talk to still at the time, Princess Courtney, about that behavior, and it seemed as though it would improve a little bit, but then there would be that occasional day again where Crystal tried to use her royalty to her advantage. This personality trait continued through her elementary years.

As she moved into her teenage years, Crystal took a huge liking to things related to fashion, and at 13, was allowed to take part in a special program that the Concord Heights Beauty School would have for high school students. You had to be 15 in order to be a part of this program, but the rules were bent for Princess Crystal, mainly because at that time, Princess Courtney was still on the board of directors at the school. So, while it could say this was preferential treatment for royalty, it was more of an example of preferential treatment due to having your mother in a high ranking position. Crystal enjoyed her time there, and would go back to the private school showing off what she had seen there. She would also join the schools cheerleading squad, the only sport that she would participate in during high school. Princess Crystal was 16 years old when her mother became the Queen of Cassadaigua, and at that point, her teachers noticed a personality change in Crystal. Perhaps, it was becoming more real to her now that she was a high ranking royal figure, even if she was not going to become the Queen. She saw what her older sister, Caitlyn, was getting away with at that time, and it seemed to rub off on her. Bonnie Newcomb, Crystal’s chemistry teacher in 10th grade told a reporter, “She definitely changed after the coronation. Prior to that, I think she was more like her sister, Cassie, following her lead and trying to do the right thing, instead of being like Caitlyn, who had always exhibited the more problematic traits. As far as her schoolwork, she just stopped caring, then started becoming a little more bossy towards some of the people who were not her friends.” Perhaps Queen Courtney I was too busy trying to adjust to her new position of power then to see some of the warnings signs that were displayed in her middle child. As a senior, Crystal and most members of the cheerleading squad (among other student athletes) were part of an underage drinking party at a mansion in suburban Concord Heights that was busted by the police. She was 17, and with the drinking age being 18 in Cassadaigua, this was not seen as a major concern, just an annoyance. Queen Courtney I pardoned her daughter, and everyone at the party, and exerted her authority as Queen on the school to not punish any of the students involved any further. Instead, they would serve their punishment in roles to have to paint the walls or do other tasks in a local senior citizens center every weekend for four months.

After Crystal’s minor brush with the law, she seemed to get refocused on her priorities again, and her older sister, Cassie II, seemed to have a lot to do with it. She would be accepted at Concord Heights Beauty School, and would major in Advanced Cosmetology, while serving on the school’s cheerleading squad. In school, she was able to manage a 4.0 GPA, with most believing that because she was doing things that interested her, she was excelling. It was only in things that did not interest her did she let people know that and showed little effort in trying to excited about them. None of her teachers at the Beauty School reported any kind of behavioral issues with her, but at the same time, say there was nothing that would have stood out about her as a student if she was not part of the Royal Family. In college, she had several relationships, but none of them ever seemed to work out long term. Again, showing that she really had a normal college life.

It is typical for kids of the Queen to get an area of Cassadaigua to govern after they graduated, but this did not happen with Princess Crystal. This was the way that Crystal wanted it, saying that she did not have an interest in a governing role, and just wanted to go home to Concord Heights and focus on opening up a beauty salon of her own. As it was her wishes, Queen Courtney I would permit this. Since Crystal never grew up thinking that should become a Queen, it was always clear that she simply had no interest in learning how to rule and to govern, and to put her in such a role would be out of character for her. The Princess would open her beauty salon when she was 23 years old, and soon what was a single location blossomed in to becoming one of the more well known chains of salons throughout Cassadaigua today. She needed some business guidance in order to achieve this, and would end up meeting a man named Michael, a young doctor who worked at an office on the same block as the beauty salon. The two of them hit it off very well, and would get married less then a year later. This made Crystal a little unique in that she actually had her wedding ceremony before either of her older sisters.

Not too long after the wedding, came the incident with the teacher of Princess Caitlyn’s, and that saw Crystal moved up to being second in line to Princess Cassie to take over the throne. She was also pregnant with her first child at the time, and with all of this happening so fast with Crystal, she began to approach her mother now showing more interest in governing. However, Queen Courtney told her daughter to relax, and focus on her business and her family first. The beauty salon was successful, and Michael had friends that were hired to be able to lead the financials of the salon in a smarter way. Princess Crystal would do this, and as the business grew, she backed away from it and let other people handle the day to day running of it. She and Michael would focus on their children, to which they would have three (Corey, Caleb, and Carlie). At 44, Crystal would take on the same board of directors position at Concord Heights Beauty School that her mother once held, and is now the President of the school. Today she is 60, and in very good health.

We’ll move with this look at key royal figures in our next article. Meanwhile, get excited for our next World Cup qualifying match as the Fillies prepare to play Sargossa in Concord Heights! Chelsea Dufresne has a look at that and coverage of our 4-1 win over Grod Island elsewhere on this website. Enjoy!

Cassadagan Goal Scorers: Wolcott (18'), Schanke (24'), Pierce (60'), McClain (89')

[Timuria]

As The GM Dissolves TIOC Take The Lead

by Samet Uryanli

With the last of the business in the legislature taken care of, with decisive defeats handed to opposition motions from OK and ALTI, while an emergency budget managed to pass thanks to a deal between the SC and TIOC, providing large amounts of money to projects in Uryan and Demir, both core regions for the two parties and BAHP and the TKP teamed up to pass a motion supporting the rights of minorities to express themselves fully and showing solidarity with minority Shia protesters who oppose perceived inequality in education funding. The parties will now enter the 14 week election period, where broadcast regulations will be enforced strictly.

There are three sets of scheduled debates, the first will be between the leaders of the top two parties at the dissolution of parliament, that is TIOC and OK, the other will be between parties expected to have seats in the Gönüllü Meclisi, that is BAHP, the TKP and SC. The polls following that debate will be used to determine who will attend the three party debate, with most expect BAHP leader Ayla Afandiyeva to be invited, at the same time a debate between the remaining parliamentary party groups will be held, this will be ALTI's first appearance on a debate stage. The final debate will be between all parties projected to get seats in parliament.

The poll taken as the parliament was dissolved by Grand Vizier Muhadow, indicated that TIOC has now taken its largest lead in the first preference voting intention since the last election, where it fell as far as 3 points behind the main opposition and its largest lead was 1% indicating that as the public focus on who they want to lead the next government people are swinging back to TIOC, especially supporters of independent and minor party candidates. OK has fared fairly well with only a small drop in their vote share in the first preference poll, but they face a difficult task to claw back from the lead TIOC has established especially given their credibility has been restored through the emergency budget. BAHP continues to rise in the polls, off the back of Rahim Muhadow's meteoric rise to Grand Vizier and through Ayla Afandiyeva's personal popularity as she has taken over the party's parliamentary leadership. The TKP has seen a modest rise, riding off the coattails of their action alongside BAHP. ALTI has found themselves totally flat and unable to make any headway, while the SC has seen a sharp rise to 4%.

In terms of projected seats this means that TIOC appear set for a narrow majority, a result that would have been unthinkable only a short while ago. OK will rise substantially to 223 seats, but have seen their projected number of seats slide slightly. BAHP may be surging in the polls, but they're set to lose seats and have slid a further 2 seats from the last poll. The TKP look set to suffer a historic loss, their strength in the first preference serving their obvious allies in TIOC more than it gains them seats. The SC now look to be set to win a solitary seat, an improvement on the previous poll where they looked to be out of parliament entirely. ALTI, still, look set to be out with no seats.

First Preference Voting Intention (Change from the previous poll):
TIOC 29.3% (+1.9)
OK 26.1% (-0.3)
BAHP 16% (+1.7)
TKP 13.4% (+0.7)
ALTI 8.4% (-0.3)
SC 4% (+1.4)

Seat Projection (Change from the last projection):
TIOC 291 (+28)
OK 223 (-11)
BAHP 28 (-2)
TKP 7 (-16)
SC 1 (+1)
ALTI 0 (=)
Ind/Oth 2 (=)

[TJUN-ia]

Our usual reporter is currently being checked over by local officials in Szensky after he was seen drinking his sorrows away after TJUN-ia's 4-0 defeat at the hands of Nantanians and Nosts. Instead, here is a transcript of the TGRS Sport (the sports channel in the CSTO Zone) post-match reactions with Visaly Triakovsky and Rustan Ilyachekov.

VT: Tак, Растан. Мысли? (Tak, Rustan. Mysli?/So, Rustan. Thoughts?)
RI: Ужасно, абсолютно ужасно! Эта команда, которая, как мы все думали, свернула за угол и начала двигаться вперед, просто смутилась перед своими фанатами, фанатами Сзенского! Я видел, как несколько человек ушли после третьего гола и, честно говоря, я их вообще не виню! (Uzhasno, absolyutno uzhasno! Eta komanda, kotoraya, kak my vse dumali, svernula za ugol i nachala dvigat'sya vpered, prosto smutilas' pered svoimi fanatami, fanatami Szenskogo! YA videl, kak neskol'ko chelovek ushli posle tret'yego gola i, chestno govorya, ya ikh voobshche ne vinyu!/Terrible, absolutely terrible! This team, who we all thought were turning a corner and starting to move forward were just embarrassed in front of their own fans, Szensky's fans! I saw a few people leave after the third goal and to be honest, I don't blame them at all!)
VT: Что вы думаете, что пошло не так здесь сегодня вечером? (Chto vy dumayete, chto poshlo ne tak zdes' segodnya vecherom?/What do you think went wrong here tonight?)
RI: Что пошло не так?! Может быть, вы должны начать спрашивать, что не пошло не так! Вы можете подумать, что после победы в своей первой игре в Джекленде, эта команда сможет внести свой вклад в эту игру. Но нет! Вместо этого они сделали «Маркуса Иона Муту» похожим на второе пришествие самой Маргарет! Ничего плохого в нем, нантанцах и ностах, потому что они просто сделали нас похожими на чертову Некосию! (Chto poshlo ne tak?! Mozhet byt', vy dolzhny nachat' sprashivat', chto ne poshlo ne tak! Vy mozhete podumat', chto posle pobedy v svoyey pervoy igre v Dzheklende, eta komanda smozhet vnesti svoy vklad v etu igru. No net! Vmesto etogo oni sdelali «Markusa Iona Mutu» pokhozhim na vtoroye prishestviye samoy Margaret! Nichego plokhogo v nem, nantantsakh i nostakh, potomu chto oni prosto sdelali nas pokhozhimi na chertovu Nekosiyu!/What went wrong?! Maybe you should start asking what didn't go wrong! You'd think that after winning their first game in Jeckland, that this team can carry the momentum into this game. But no! Instead, they made "Márcus Ion Mutu" look like the 2nd coming of Margaret herself! Nothing wrong with him and Nantanians and Nosts, because they just made us look like fucking Necosia!
VT: Следующий день - Вильябланка. Как команда и «Дэвид Симс» реагируют на эту потерю? (Sleduyushchiy den' - Vil'yablanka. Kak komanda i «Devid Sims» reagiruyut na etu poteryu?/Next up is an away day in Villablanca. How does the team and David Seems respond to this loss?)
RI: Ну, я надеюсь, что у него что-то в рукаве, потому что иначе он ходячий мертвец! Он не может просто использовать одну и ту же тактику снова и снова, пока игроки не будут мертвы или утомлены до чертиков, ему нужно экспериментировать и быстро! Проиграть Портикалии было достаточно смущения, но Виллабланка ... это может свести меня с ума! ОЧЕНЬ! БЕЗ УМА! (Nu, ya nadeyus', chto u nego chto-to v rukave, potomu chto inache on khodyachiy mertvets! On ne mozhet prosto ispol'zovat' odnu i tu zhe taktiku snova i snova, poka igroki ne budut mertvy ili utomleny do chertikov, yemu nuzhno eksperimentirovat' i bystro! Proigrat' Portikalii bylo dostatochno smushcheniya, no Villablanka ... eto mozhet svesti menya s uma! OCHEN'! BEZ UMA!/Well I hope he has something up his sleeve because otherwise, he is a walking deadman! He can't just use the same tactic over and over again until the players are either dead or tired as fuck, he needs to experiment and fast! Losing to Porticalia was enough of embarrassment but Villablanca...that might make me mad! VERY! MAD!)

---

SCHEDULE (Updates on stadiums will occur as soon as we get them)
MD1: @Audioslavia (22) - Arena Kirola, Cathair L 1-2 (T-9th)
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (84) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (T-9th)
MD3: @Porticalia (330) L 0-1 (T-10th)
MD4: vs Sajnur (57) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (12th)
MD5: @Jeckland (UR) - Jecken Stadium, Rack City W 2-0 (10th)
MD6: vs Natanians and Nosts (131) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-4 (11th)
MD7: @Villablanca (235)
MD8: BYE
MD9: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD10: @Necosia (341)
MD11: vs Turori (12) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD12: @Astograth (303) - Castle Hill, Gesterlake
MD13: vs Muradil (212) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
-----------------------Off Day---------------------------
MD14: vs Audioslavia (22) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD15: @Euran Oceania Territories (84) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive
MD16: vs Porticalia (330) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD17: @Sajnur (57) - ?
MD18: vs Jeckland (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD19: @Natanians and Nosts (131) - Stadion Nacional (?)
MD20: vs Villablanca (235) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD21: BYE
MD22: @New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto
MD23: vs Necosia (341) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD24: @Turori (12)
MD25: vs Astograth (303) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD26: @Muradil (212)

[The Sarian]

De Telegraaf Sport presents...

ON LEFT FLANK
The Rolling Football Blog

Northwest Kalactin 1–4 The Sarian: three thoughts
Stefan Struik, Football Writer

The jumpstart the qualifying campaign needed?
We hardly need to repeat how The Sarian campaign has gone thus far. Four opponents which didn't take much skill to overcome, the highest being ranked just two hundred and eighteenth in the most recent rankings. One win. Two draws. And then a slightly better performance when Eura came to De Stadionnational - but not enough of an improvement to beat one of the best sides in wide football. Players have underperformed, managers have lost their cool and then the Vice Captain injured himself by slipping on a rouge ball whilst warming up. All this added up to a complete lack of confidence in the side to get a result away at Northwest Kalactin - a game always expected to be close. But the team rose to the challenge, and then some. Oodel Duotzin, who had been dropped after a string of bad performances, was back - making some crucial saves in a touchy first thirty minutes. Although the hosts did take an lead, the long shot of Luke Dillan took such a nasty deflection that even Equestria's Gentle Breeze, long regarded the best keeper in the Multiverse, would have been unable to stop it. For the rest of the sixty minutes of the match, however, The Sarian looked good to take on anyone. Maeri Beniut and the midfield trio of Jodi Lauri, Hugo Sint Lo and Mohammad Islam particularly impressed and the four goals scored were a reflection of the girth in quality between two team evenly matched on paper. The challenge for The Sarian is to repeat this more regularly. If they can, it couldn't have come soon enough: the second quarter of games see difficult home fixtures against Chromatika, Eshan and Savojarna as well as a trip to Terre Septentrionale. With the exception of visiting Alba and Cymru, the easier matches are over. As The Sarian squandered them, the team need to step up. This game showed that they can do that.

A blessing in disguise?
And the award for the most insensitive subheading goes to... But seriously, everyone's hearts were in their mouths when Luc Bisop was stretchered off in the warm-up before Eura. But it forced Micaal Druiven to mix up the midfield, and it's had nothing but good results thus-far. Although the Eura game was a defeat - it was much nobler than anyone could have predicted - the Bustards put in a good performance throughout in what was easily their best display of the World Cup a went down to a respectable four-three defeat. After coming on off the bench for the Eura game, Hugo Sint Lo started against Northwest Kalactin and the growth in quality was immediately obvious. Forming an almost instinctive partnership with Jodi Lauri and Mohammad Islam, the midfield trio controlled the game. The Sarian had almost sixty percent of possession and the instant connection of these three players - all from different club teams - was the reason for it. In particular, Sint Lo's eye to drop deeper and find the perfect pass to see up an attack was the best part of the Saari play. Talented attackers like Maeri Beniut (more on her later) and Lach Houten live off those kind of balls and were able to convert with a potency which was lacking in the earlier matches. More superficially, the injury of Bisop - a perennial name in the team sheet, having started twenty-three of the twenty-eight Saari games since his debut - has created more competition for places within the squad. People have risen to the challenge, and the team are better for it.

Arise, Queen Maeri
There have been so many gushing words written about Maeri Beniut over the last two years, and every single time she continues to get better. Her performance this match was her best for the national team yet - getting two assists and a goal, in part thanks to a great partnership with Islam and Sint Lo which saw her get the ball just where she wanted it. Consistently harassing the Kalactanian defensive lines, skill and pace were combined to provide Houten with a constant stream of chances. Killer crosses managed to consistently confound Joseph Anderson and Hue Grebv whilst even Matt Hall - a fantastic athlete who plays in the Farf leagues - was unable to contend with Beniut's bursts of pace. Although the teams went into half-time deadlocked - a Henri Brejzun header from a Wictor Buul freekick equalised for The Sarian -, it was Beniut's hard work in the first half which allowed The Sarian to dominate the second. Having tired out the Kalactanian players, she was allowed to run riot. Being beautifully supplied by Sint Lo, her runs were responsible for all three of The Sarian's second half goals. The first saw her collect a great long ball forward by Sint Lo, take it past three players before cutting the ball back to Sint Lo who buried it into the roof of the net from twenty-yards out. The second was a fabulous ball by Islam which she controlled with one touch, played a quick one-two with Houten before sliding past the incoming Wendell Jakerein. She would pay Houten back for the assist, another run saw her take it to the left byline before chipping a looping cross over to an unmarked Houten. All in, the whole team raised their game, but Beniut took it to another level. If she can take this confidence and form forward, she could be the difference The Sarian needs in the upcoming matches.

Line-up versus Eshan (4-2-3-1): Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz, Criuzi Siwaad, Randoel Raedmaeceu / Hugo Sint Lo, Jodi Lauri / Wictor Buul, Mohammad Islam, Maeri Beniut / Lach Houten

[Cheergirls]

After defeating Indusse, Meghan Banks was feeling a lot better, and was happy that the spirits of the team seemed to be uplifted, at least for the time being. She tried to give her most passionate speech after the game that she could deliver, talking about what they had overcome and how they were capable of doing a lot more. It was not delivered as eloquently as Sir Barsanuphius The Bold would, but she really was admiring that aspect of him, and did her best to emulate it towards her team. What a great leader he must be, even if his message was a little weird. Once everyone got home, Meghan tried to see if there was anything new that Sir Barsanuphius The Bold had said, and sure enough, she was not disappointed.

Since it was posted on the blogs of a couple players that the team had Cocoabo milkshakes before the match, Sir Barsanuphius The Bold would be able to figure that out. In fact, Tara Milford, who’s mother prepared them, posted several pictures of the delicious drinks on various social media platforms. Meghan was not surprised that the Holy Empire captain would dislike this, but she was impressed by how he was able to find this information so quickly. Surely, he has people working for him searching for any references to cocoabo, but not only was this man a great speaker, he was so quick to pick up knowledge. He must be so smart under that suit of armor that he wears, so why was he devoting so much of his time to believing that cocoabo could boost the performance of players on the field. Meghan saw the message about the banning of the product when they played in The Holy Empire. Thinking that he would probably find her message on social media, Meghan wrote:

“Dear Sir Barsanuphius The Bold, I saw what you said about us not being able to consume any cocoabo products within your country. I just want you to know that we will fully respect your wishes. For now though, I know that Tara Milford’s mom is going to go with us to Tequilo and she is going to prepare another batch of them for us. I guess maybe see if it works or not, right?”

Against Tequilo, a nation that had done so well in the Baptism of Fire, the Cheergirls simply dominated play. Doing this on the road was very unexpected, and clearly Los Pitxileros were not ready for what they saw from our team. Tara Milford scored once, and the team jumped out to their three goal lead after just 32 minutes of play. The team got a rush from hearing the home fans boo the efforts of their team, not knowing how this team of young girls in cheerleading uniforms were defeating them so convincingly, but Meghan Banks and the team pulled off a great win, indeed!

[Garifunya]

Prins taps Lunenborg for VP slot

Antwaan Niewmeijer, De Frederykvil Dagblad

All the talk in Garifunyan politics lately has been about the newly created post of vice president. For all the hype, one would think Immanuel Prins' decision for VP would decide the fate of the Republic. As it is, the Vice President is largely a placeholder that will take over should something happen to Prins. But his decision is politically important; it will tell us what Prins values, what direction he wants the country to go in. Prins has long been known as an idealist on political reform and a pragmatist in politics, a progressive but never doctrinaire. There are reasons he ran as an independent instead of as a Democratic Revival candidate, a party of which he is a member in all but name. Stylistically, Prins doesn't want to be pinned down to one party, one platform, one idea; he can't be the savior of the nation if he represents a narrow political party. Ideologically, Prins situates himself on the left of Democratic Revival and fundamentally disagrees with some of the ideas that the DR leadership proposes. This and more are why his selection of SDP House of Freeholders Deputy Leader Simone Lunenborg is interesting.

On the one hand, the choice of Lunenborg makes the most sense. She has long been a supporter of the SDP's coalition with DR, has advocated for the continuation of the jobs program and, sitting on the soft left of her party, won't ruffle any feathers on the left, keeping the chance for the co-operation Prins prizes so highly open. Her confirmation is a cinch, as she will win the votes of all 17 DR and SDP Senaators, and the five Senaators from Bright Future, the Communists, and the Greens will likely support her as well. This is the politically sound decision: Lunenborg is a broadly acceptable candidate, reinforces the coalition ties with the SDP, and will likely work very well with Prins.

On the other hand, Prins is known to be uncomfortable with decisions viewed as politically sound or easy. His taste is to change the politics of Garifunya. Too much back-slapping, gladhanding, and corruption were the problems he saw with the Gillaat way of doing things, and anything that smacks of the easy way makes him a little queasy. In interviews, he often says he wants to make the best choice for the nation, not the best choice for politicians or for himself. He appointed Dan Nijeboor, an excellent lawyer, but a known Prins foe, as his Attorney General, because he wanted his administration to be clean of corruption, and he knew Nijeboor wouldn't miss any chance to catch other members of the administration in double-dealing or other issues. He is known to admire leaders who made room for discussion, debate, and dissent within their governments instead of surrounding themselves with loyalists. It is hard to reconcile wanting to be a paradigm-shifting leader with making the politically responsible choice in every instance.

So what does this mean? Has Prins been cowed by DR and SDP leaders in the legislature, so that he bows to their choice? Has he abandoned his ideals of diversity of thought within his government? Is he simply making the "right choice" to win goodwill with legislative leaders so they will go along with his program? For my money, it's the third option. Prins never does anything just because someone tells him too. He's politically savvy; he knows how to make the right decision. Lunenborg is to the left of him; she'll create debate within the administration around welfare, trade, and development, so he'll get his dissent. This is just the choice he has to make.

Politics fans, it wouldn't surprise me if Prins uses this opportunity to zig when everyone expects him to zag. He's made the "right choice", now he's going to push for something he wants. Lunenborg, the SDP, and the left of DR want him to continue with the jobs program, the majority of DR wants to move on to education, the right wants tax cuts, the left wants land reform. He's clearly aligned himself with the left of his party and his allies, but he might be moving in an unorthodox direction. I think he'll compel himself to move away from the jobs program as it is, because nobody expects him to change anything with the Lunenborg pick, but he's going to tackle it in his own way. His comments on the Lunenborg pick included these lines: "With new leadership comes new priorities. Garifunya faces a multitude of challenges and, with Simone by my side, we're going to address all of these challenges. I feel confident my administration can walk and chew gum at the same time."

Having a president with high ideals and a nonconformist streak is good sometimes, but if he goes unorthodox simply because he doesn't want to be predictable, Prins runs the risk of bogging down his administration and endangering his re-election.

[Hampton Island]

(Locker room, following the loss to Banija)

Hannah Sanders: Look guys, I want to let you know that I am proud of you even with this result, you have like overcome so many odds to get to where you are, and that was Banija out there.

Edwin Conney: Those young’uns sure know how to shoot the ball. Sorry I allowed five goals today, coach.

Clyde Benner: We were never going to win this game, they are too good. It’s like role reversal with Banija’s NSSCRA driver. He sucks. But in soccer, they are the opposite.

Roger Grant: Coach, we’ll be okay. Not going to worry about losing to a team that is capable of winning the whole damn thing.

Hannah Sanders: Very good then, I am happy to hear you are not going to let this bother you. That totally had me worried. But we, like, have a lot of tough games starting to come up right now.

Hank Andrews: Hey, I scored a goal today, I am thrilled with that. I can tell my grandkids that I scored against Banija.

Edwin Conney: That’s cool. I can tell mine I let in five goals against them. Or maybe I will just say that I had the chance to play them.

Roger Grant: Coach, is it true about the Hapilopper match?

Hannah Sanders: The chicken suit promotion in Stafford City, you got it! Also, since they are scared of bears, we are going to let a bunch of them roam the pitch for twenty minutes. Midnight will be on hand, too.
(OOC: Understanding this comment requires knowing the contents of This Roleplay which gets into the budding Hampton Island-Hapilopper rivalry.

Hank Andrews: That was funny about them chickens.

Roger Grant: Hailey, is everything okay between you and your boss? You don’t seem to be talking much to one another anymore.

Hannah Sanders: Hannah. And no, we don’t.

Roger Grant: Sorry Hannah. I keep messing that up.

Hannah Sanders: He’s unhappy with me because I am being a manager and not a slave.

Clyde Benner: What is wrong with that. I know you are trying your hardest with us.

Hannah Sanders: He didn’t feel like I should make lineup adjustments. I told him that I would do so anyway and he got really pissed off. He might fire me over it, but he knows that he probably shouldn’t or it could backfire. By the way, anyone in here know a good lawyer?

Edwin Conney: I could help you with that.

Hannah Sanders: Great! So like he’s mad at me but you know he also doesn’t really believe in any of you. You are all just a gimmick to him. But like, you have all you played so hard and have done what you can. I know it is not easy for you to have to play nations as good as Banija, but you went out there and took their best shots. You like totally didn’t but you went out there and did what you could. That’s not a gimmick to me. That’s straight up passion!

Clyde Benner: He doesn’t believe in us? Well, that’s a load of shit.

Edwin Conney: Bears will be roaming the field? Maybe we can get one in his special little luxury suite, and I don’t mean a nice one like Midnight. I mean one that hasn’t eaten for a couple days.

Roger Grant: Now, now, let’s not be violent and gruesome.

Hannah Sanders: He told me he hoped Banija beat you all 10-0. That’s what he thinks about you.

Edwin Conney: So, he wanted me to allow twice as many goals as I did? Now that’s bullshit.

Roger Grant: That why you want a lawyer, Heather?

Hannah Sanders: Kind of. Roger, how about you just stick to calling me coach.

Roger Grant: Ok coach. I’m ready to play Banija.

Clyde Benner: We just did.

Roger Grant: Right, right. That wasn’t Hapilopper. Hapilopper is next.

Edwin Conney: Never a dull moment in here.

[Kandorith]

Shinonome Kyoai - International
News From The Empire

---

Stunning Match Awards Kandorith With a Point

*   Group 11                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Equestria                               6    5   1   0    23   12  +11    16
 2 HUElavia                                6    5   0   1    22   14   +8    15
 3 Xanneria                                5    4   1   0    16   10   +6    13
 4 Nooooooooooooooo                        6    2   3   1     9    6   +3     9
 5 Ancherion                               6    2   2   2    13   13    0     8
 6 Fujai                                   5    2   2   1     7   11   −4     8
 7 Kandorith                               6    1   3   2    12   14   −2     6
 8 Vdara                                   6    2   0   4    13   16   −3     6
 9 Lo Santano                              5    1   2   2     7    9   −2     5
10 South Concepthuania                     6    1   1   4    10   15   −5     4
11 Blouman Empire                          5    0   3   2     5    8   −3     3
12 Monglechabagd                           5    0   3   2     5    9   −4     3
13 Jamestownnnn                            5    0   1   4     3    8   −5     1

Tenkyo, In an absolute show of Force the Kandorese national team managed to pry a point from an unlikely scenario. Fans were left shocked as their team played an absolutely terrific match against the current first placed team in the group and eight in the world and surely they were even more stunned than the Kandorese fans were. Even though Kandorith remains in 7th place; they are slowly showing a strengthening willpower and determination to fight for dominance on the field to finally step up to the stage during the campaign. After the Match we were able to shortly talk with Tanaka, the captain of the team, on his thoughts on the match. As he approached us in the pouring rain he was smiling and thanked us kindly after he was handed a towel.

"Amazing, just simply amazing. Honestly I did not think it was possible at first but we really kept our heads in the game and everything just clicked. Like a puzzle being solved everything got together and we just played really well. It was like we were guided by something to play the way we did and I am really glad to have played this match and the rest of the squad is absolutely enjoying themselves too. Too be fair I am still a little bit shocked or in awe even as I still kind of have to realise what we did; I think this will be a topic for discussion a long time from now. I mean we didn't just draw to any team, we drew to a top ten team in the world. For use this is not a draw, but a victory for the Kandorese football. This is the largest morale boost any team can get and from here on things are looking upward. I am looking forward to the next match, We're turning this tournament around and upside down from now on. But for now, I am going to get some sleep."

Not much later we were able to speak to Hayabusa on the achievement who seemed even more stand than his players. His achievement is one for the books and the realisation is slowly setting in with the team and the fans. "I think the team played absolutely brilliantly and the new tactics seem to work swimmingly. I think I heard Tanaka say, for us this is a victory, I have to agree with that. I aimed for conceding as few goals as possible and try to hold them as long as possible, but drawing with a total of eight goals within a match is really icing on the cake. I want to certainly congratulate all the players for this immense achievement and can't wait to face our next opponent with renewed energy, pride and opportunity."

The next match for Kandorith will be against the Blouman Empire, currently placed number 11 in the group. Theoretically this should be an easy match for the Kandorese team who will once again play at home. The home advantage has not done much good in the current campaign as of yet; but the renewed morale could make a big change in this setting. The match promises to be a spectacular one as the Kandorese team is putting everything on everything to gain momentum and start winning to try and seize that sweet spot of qualifying for the World Cup in decades.

[Northwest Kalactin]

The Story of Wendell Jakerein
The Kalactanians are a very offensive team, however, what most don’t notice is the man betweeen the poles may be the most important player in the field. Wendell Jakerein has been the rock in the goal for the Kalactanians since the 79th World Cup, when the association created a soccer team. Jakerein is entering his last cycle playing for the Kalactanian National Team and we thought we would share his story with you guys.

Wendell Jakerein was born in a Coffs Harbour hospital on June 28th in 2001. He was born to a middle class family that lived in a large house with his parents and 3 siblings. His dad played goalkeeper in college for Northwest Ballina State and his mom was a nurse that also attended Northwest Ballina. He quickly started to play soccer as a kid and was clearly meant to play goalie. He could quickly spring some side to side faster than all the other kids and his dad mentored him to become a great athlete. After dominating soccer all throughout elementary school and middle school Wendell decided to attend the academy of Yamba FC to aid his development as a goalkeeper. Jakerein immediately took the starting position at the academy and developed fast. He was chosen for the National U-15 team and played goalie there before going back to Yamba FC for 3 more seasons. He got a bad knee injury when he was 16 and his future was at stake. Jakerein had torn an MCL on a penalty kick in a game against a Pripitanian academy. He did not play the entire season when he was 17 and when he was 18 he was back at it with great play again. He was rated the number 2 goalie in Northwest Kalactin, only second to one player, Russell Diaz. Diaz was a player that had grown up in Gold Coast and he played at the academy for Gold Coast Capital. He was by far the best player in the nation and to some there was no question, he was better than Jakerein. In the final season both Jakerein and Diaz graduated from their academies and went straight into the NKSL as the next 2 best goalies. In the first season Jakerein was great, Diaz however struggled to keep his starting position at GCCFC. Despite the horrible rookie season people still thought that Diaz was better than Jakerein but, he never seemed to get better than him. Yamba beat GCCFC 5-0 with Diaz in goal and Jakerein was the best goalie in the league at the time. At this point after getting his challengers out of the way Jakerein took the spot as the goalie on the National Team and wanted out of Yamba. He moved to Kempsey FC when he was 23 and he continued to excel there, Kempsey won a league title with him in net. Near the 84th cycle he was still great but he was getting older, as that cycle came to a closer Jakerein was sold on a 1 year contract to Jungle Strike FC in Vilita. He has played in 3 ICFC and UICA champions leagues and he continues to lead team to victory in net for the Kalactanians.