World Cup 83 - Roleplay Thread

[Brenecia]

Hapilopper 1 - 2 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 1 - Farrell; 2 - Broxham, 5 - Horgan, 6 - Mathers, 3 - Quill (c); 8 - Matheson (21 - Case 71'), 4 - Locke (23 - Alweather 84'), 13 - Wheeler; 7 - Cheney, 10 - Ciogach (9 - Riordan 59'), 16 - Fletcher
Goals: Broxham 36', Riordan 64'

The mistakes of last time had been pored over time and again. The Haps weren't just mouthy bastards with no end product; they were mouthy bastards with silverware to their name and the ability to get more. They had a solid structure, and liked to put a bit of stick about.
Reminded some of the Patriots of Nepharim. Now, if that wasn't motivation to make things right...
The Patriots were on four straight wins since Brelk-Xeral had taken over, and had every intention of making it five. They were the big dogs on paper, but not good enough they could afford to be complacent - let alone away from home. Talk of the four-goal win that would turn the H2H tiebreaker on its head were hushed by their manager; a win would be, well, a win. Nothing more, nothing less.
A party atmosphere prevailed in the stands, flags and funk and percussion. The faint wobble of recent form hadn't done much to interrupt their spirits, and why should it? The Haps had made one of the most dominant entries to the world game of any side in WCC history. Reversion to the mean cut both ways; the crash to Earth was inevitable and had been brutal, but the upturn could be around any corner.
A small pocket of thuggish visitors in navy blue had broken out the flags, and had prepared many forceful renditions of the traditional 'You Fat Bastard' chant for Richard Taggart's ears.
This was the headline clash of the most open group in the world right now. Sure, other matches were playing on other channels, but why in God's name would you watch them?

The first half was, to break out the cliche, more perspiration than inspiration. A leniant referee overlooked the excesses of both teams, for the most part - an outright homicidal challenge from McLain did draw a caution, and the Patriots could breathe a sigh of relief when Lauren Cheney, who got up rather gingerly, was back sprinting just two minutes later.
But she hadn't been there to track back for Erickson, surging past the hole where the enthusiastically overlapping Broxham had been; Garrett Horgan, who combined the pace of a glacier with the turning circle of a gas giant, steamed in and slammed shoulder-to-shoulder with the winger, who took the excuse to fall over. The home crowd screamed for a call which never came.
Broxham had some redemption to make up, and she'd get it, too. First, her cross into the area of uncertainty came a little high, Ciogach lacking the height that perhaps Riordan would have had, but Harris clambered awkwardly over her to punch the ball away. He scrambled to his feet over the dazed striker as the ball came to Taggart, except that Elysse Matheson stole in in front of him and nipped it away from his feet, looked up, saw Cheney racing down the right, and just freed her in time with a deft diagonal pass. Cheney got past McLain, looked up - Ciogach was just getting to her feet, but now Broxham was driving into the box, and she laid it off, expecting the Mallox fullback to pass it along to, perhaps, the lurking Wheeler or Fletcher.
That's not how Broxham worked. She didn't even take a touch before driving the ball into the bottom corner, Harris very nearly getting a hand to it. Not quite.

The home fans weren't gonna panic. Why panic? They had their man, Ernie Stevenson, leading the charge. Stevenson had smashed three goals past Cass Farrell last game. Stevenson smashed goals past anyone. He would score. It was just a matter of when.
He'd tried his arm outside the box a couple of times, lashing strikes at an impressive velocity; one had flown just past the post, though Farrell might have had it covered regardless, while the other was at a comfortable enough height to claw past the post for a corner the commanding keeper caught cleanly.
Horgan and Mathers had him watched like a hawk. These Patriots may not have had the old age and treachery of the old-model squad, but they weren't short of nous, and weren't shy of administering some tough love to their charges. Some encouragement.
The issue with the focus on Stevenson was that, despite what some of the press might have one believe, there were actually nine other players between Stevenson and Harris. They might not have shared in the hype, but they were still capable of dealing out damage.
A careless pass from Wheeler was cut out by Taggart, moving with surprising agility to slide in the way of the ball and hook it away with his shin, just as far as the veteran Kelvin Beverly, now in space, now with time. He strode forward at a leisurely pace, but when Matheson caught up, he released East, who outmuscled the intelligent but rather lightweight Locke and surged into the box. Horgan stayed, Mathers came, the right move, but East was able to cut inside and quickly drag the ball between the two of them, under Mathers' outstretched boot, and found the bombing run of Murray Hunnisett, who toebashed it past a sprawling Farrell. 1-1 in the 44th minute, and it was back to square one.
And surely, the home crowd prayed, the inexorable Stevenson goal to come.

But it would not be Stevenson's day. Nor would it be his opposing number's - Ciogach, after a frustrating evening, took a very nearly accidental ankle-knock from Nate Ellis as she threatened to break, didn't exactly spring to her feet, and Brelk-Xeral took the excuse to summon Griffin Riordan.
Riordan's struggle was the classic one. It felt like her entire career had been a struggle either to convert her country form to her club, or her club form to her country. This moment was more of the latter.
That was a touch reductive. What Riordan offered was an all-round threat, no matter how cold her touch in front of goal. But the two-striker experiment had evaporated with Reid's departure, and Brelk-Xeral's focus on pace up front meant that a striker who'd just turned 30 was a touch past her prime.
But even so, she still had something to offer. Brelk-Xeral had promised her that, and this coming half-hour, to her mind, was the eccentric manager coming good on that promise.
She wouldn't need half an hour.
Too much can be made of a player's first touch, particularly if it ends up a portentous one. Riordan's would take some time to come, but that didn't mean she lacked impact. She provided a clear target at a time when the Haps were starting to take the upper hand, and just giving something for defenders to lump the ball at was helping in its own way. She'd contested a couple of crosses later, too, but not quite gotten a head to either. The early portents were already good before that ball arrived...
It started from a Hapilopper attack. After a promising build-up, Hunnissett had tried to find the fresh substitute Long on the left wing. The ball was near-perfect as it sailed over everyone's heads, but Long's strike on the full was straight at Farrell, who clasped it gratefully to her chest. But not for long. She got up, scoped out Quill down the left flank and hurled it his way. The captain took it down, looked up, muscled past Hunnissett and passed up to Corby Wheeler, who ran with it, past Beverly... looked up, saw Fletcher springing down the left under the close eye of Seward, Cheney probably out of reach down the right, and most promisingly, Griffin Riordan slipping away from her markers...
Wheeler hooked it over.
Riordan's first touch was to chest the ball down, controlled, into her path. Her second kept it rolling, as she outpaced Dukes, looked across, saw McLain coming...
Her third took it past Cooter Harris. Nothing fancy, just smashed it high and hard.

Half an hour later, the match was over. The Haps had pressed hard, but just seemed to run out of legs late on, and the end was almost comfortable. Almost. One fluke could've destroyed it all, of course, but Case had added more muscle to the midfield and Alweather's arrival, later on, showed commitment to shutting it down and taking the points. Farrell and Harris each made a couple more saves, flashy but comfortable. Brenecia looked good value for their win.
It had taken the loss of their most beloved manager, the man who had given them a glory that would likely never be matched. He'd taken with him still more of that generation, Szubanski, Calhoun, Heneghan, Varney, Carrick and Crowther. But honour had been restored to the navy, and their fate was in their own hands as they moved at long last to the top of the group.
Damukuni at home. Bolgano away. Six points, and all would be made well.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 7
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cass Farrell (Northern Union), 12 - Lachlan Kenway (Vidial Alchemists, MRN), 20 - Scanlan Pritchard (Marque)
Defenders: 2 - Keziah Broxham (Mallox, COS), 3 - Gethin Quill (Revolutionaries, EUR), 5 - Garrett Horgan (Northern Union), 6 - Keane Mathers (Northern Stallions), 18 - Erica Weaver (North Hall), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Crystal Fair HC, CRY), 22 - Chadwick Beath (CA Paulinthal, PAS)
Midfielders: 4 - Keziah Locke (Duke of the North, PAS), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR), 13 - Corby Wheeler (Goldstaff City, COS), 14 - Claire Ruskin (Kingsgrove), 21 - Falcon Case (Barbury Town, APX), 23 - Catsidhe Alweather (Eastal Lunar, VIL)
Forwards: 7 - Lauren Cheney (Kingsgrove), 9 - Griffin Riordan (Klyde, COS), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Southern Star), 11 - Cathal Keynes (Lajuno, EUR), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Northern Union), 16 - Ceridwen Fletcher (North Hall), 17 - Creidne Lindauer (Kingsgrove)

SCHEDULE
Islas Aaland 0 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 1 Polkopia
Lepolanatnessffiria 0 - 3 Brenecia
[Bye] (Friendly: Ceyne Isles 0 - 3 Brenecia)
Brenecia 0 - 3 Hapilopper
Damukuni 6 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 2 Bolgano
Brenecia 4 - 1 Islas Aaland
Polkopia 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 1 Lepolanatnessffiria
[Bye]
Hapilopper 1 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Damukuni
Bolgano vs. Brenecia

[Abanhfleft]

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FLEFTIC CLUBS VOTE TO LEAVE RUGBY COALITION
By Maurice Madongu


Players of the San Seriffe Bad Hombres watch on while the Sasmuan Supermen lift the 2029 Rugby Coalition premiership in Ons Deg, Copper Cuprum. The Bad Hombres, along with the four other Abanhfleft-based franchises in the Rugby Coalition, voted Friday to leave the league. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Andros Tasasa)

WA DEG, COPPER CUPRUM - In a series of events that was both inevitable and still surprising at the same time, the five Fleftic franchises playing in the Rugby Coalition have all voted to leave the organization following a final vote held on Friday night. "While we are of course saddened by the fact that this is the only course of action that we could take, we all know that we are taking for the good of Fleftic Rugby Union, and for the future of our beloved sport in our beloved nation," FRU President Dajuan Dawkins said in the press conference announcing the decision.

The withdrawal of the Fleftic franchises from the Rugby Coalition comes following protracted negotiations between the four member nations of the Rugby Coalition with regards to the future status of the Coalition as a member of the Rugby Union Champions Trophy. Both the Rugby Coalition and the Fleftic Rugby Premiership had been placed on probationary status by the RUCT after other associations raised concerns that Abanhfleft more than three teams into the competition through a loophole.

The Fleftic Rugby Union had applied for a separate membership in the RUCT separate from the Rugby Coalition and had actually gone so far as to nominate the winner and runners-up of the 2028-29 Rugby Premiership season for participation in the 32nd RUCT before the RUCT eventually blocked their entry into the competition following the concerns raised by other federations and unions to the RUCT. The Rugby Coalition clubs were allowed to participate, but their situation as well as the situation of the FRU were put into question at the end of RUCT 32 with both unions being placed into indefinite suspension.

The suspension on the Rugby Coalition was eventually lifted, on the condition that all Fleftic clubs in the competition either leave or declare themselves ineligible even if they would have qualified for the next RUCT otherwise. Thus Abanhfleft's franchises in the Rugby Coalition decided that they would rather leave the Coalition and find a new home, most probably the Fleftic rugby union pyramid, rather than continue playing in the Rugby Coalition without a chance for RUCT rugby.

The five Fleftic clubs in the Rugby Coalition (San Seriffe Bad Hombres, Haranguer Death Worms, Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs, Jasvirabad Titans, and Haritzaga County Ibex) all voted to leave the Rugby Coalition effective before the start of the 2029–30 season. A sixth club, the Moaria Waves (based in the Damukunian state of Islana Lunigo) announced their intention to suspend operations for the next season, citing the "uncertain future" of both the Rugby Coalition and their organization as the reasons for their hiatus.

Despite this, the fate of the five Fleftic franchises now formerly of the Rugby Coalition are still in the balance as despite the FRU's support and even stated intention of integrating the five clubs in the Fleftic rugby union pyramid, this has met with resistance from the majority of clubs in the Rugby Premiership and Rugby Championship, the top two tiers of rugby union in Abanhfleft. A vote will be held Monday regarding the integration of the five Fleftic Rugby Coalition sides into the pyramid.

[Cassadaigua]

Questionable Red Cards Ruin Day,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

While the scoreline will look like a blowout, and to be fair, it was, there is more to this story then just a four goal loss. In the sixth minute, Jessica Curran was oddly sent off by the referee for what seemed to be an innocent tackle on André Silveira in the box. Not only was the red card issued, but Silveira was issued a penalty kick, which he capitalized. The Fillies were taken aback by the early dismissal, especially considering it was Jessica Curran, a player that is always a very clean player. If it was Lupe Enriquez, then at least reputation could have been a part of the reasoning. Their struggles continued playing a player down, and in the 13th minute, Daniel Jota added a goal to make it 2-0. Stephanie Sweeney was livid following the goal, continuing to shout from the sidelines about sending off Curran. The team did what they could to regroup, and most of the first half was played with a slowed down pace, before a 41st minute red card was issued to Sierra Mattison, for something we are still trying to figure out. Perhaps it was something Sierra said, but there was no physical play that led to the red card. Two minutes into injury time of the first half, Bruno Fernando made it 3-0. Oddly, after the third goal, the referee tossed out a Cassadagan equipment manager from the sidelines after the equipment manager dropped a loose soccer ball on the sideline and it nearly rolled onto the field. The ball was stopped by another player on the sideline, but the ejection of the equipment manager still seemed very weird.

Playing two players down was difficult, but it started to seem as though Sweeney settled in on taking the lumps here, and moving on to the next match. New Lusitania added goals in the 52nd and 59th minute to take a 5-0 advantage, getting their fans ecstatic. The mood on the sideline for the Fillies was not as bad as you would imagine, since having to play two players down for a game like this is a difficult task. The shutout was broken in the 83rd minute with Emma McKee making use of rare playing time, and getting her first goal of qualifying.

After the match, Sweeney told reporters the team would simply move on, “They needed this game more then we did. We’re still in a good position in this group, but I really would like to know what was up with the officiating in this match. I haven’t seen it this bad in a long time.” It should be noted that, historically, Sweeney never complains about officiating, and usually tries to defend them, “I’m still trying to figure out why Sierra was tossed. She didn’t even make contact with them.” Two yellows were also issued Cassadagan players in the match, one to Ashley Crocker and the other to Rachel Brenner, in response to dives by New Lusitania players. “Neither of the yellows were deserved, either,” Sweeney said, “But their players were smart, they saw the refs were on their side, so they starting diving hoping for more, and they got the calls.” There were no cards issued to New Lusitania players in the match. Sweeney later was asked who would take the places of Mattison and Curran for the next match, and said it would be Brooke Sorrentino, and that the team would go to a 4-3-3 against the defensive minded Crystalline Caverns, and start Caitlyn Mayer.

Sierra Mattison replied about her red card, “Maybe I was breathing too hard? I really don’t know.”

[Ko-oren]

Lunaro Tsukida's Numbers Game

So, now the Dragonflies have secured a World Cup berth for the 11th overall time and the second time in the last three World Cups (including this one), it is time to look to other teams still trying to qualify straight without playoff business. Normally, the playoffs only take two rounds, one home and one away, but this time around we have a little longer to take in the glory of do-or-die football, as the playoff consists of a group stage this time around. That's another reason why it's so important that the Green and Blue are straight into the World Cup: we don't tend to do so well against other teams that are around our level, let alone when there is something on the line. Here's an odd fact: Ko-oren (and Ko-orenite teams) are surprisingly bad in knockouts despite the reliance on defence, but we are surprisingly good in qualification stages. Honestly, you would expect that to be 100% the other way around, but this is how it is. Here are some stats that barely underline the above:

World Cup Qualification cycles: 26

World Cups made: 10 (38%)
Cups of Harmony made: 10 (38%)
TOTAL tournaments after WCQ: 20 (77%)

Last 5 WCQs:
WC82: 18m 31p, missed WC by 8 goals. CoH 3m 7p, finished 3rd.
WC81: 18m 45p, no playoffs. 3m 5p, lost Ro16.
WC80: 18m 30p, missed WC by 4 points, 7 goals. CoH 3m 5p, lost QF.
WC79: 18m 27p, missed WC by 18 points, 28 goals (entered as 109th). CoH 3m 4p.
WC78: 16m 20p, missed WC by 18 points, 15 goals (entered as 108th). No tournament after WCQ.

In the last 5 cycles, Ko-oren went on to play an extra tournament after the qualification campaign four times, including one where we entered as a 100+ ranked team. Despite that, the team survived the group stage three times - which is well above expected given our ranking at the time. After that, the knockouts have gone relatively according to our ranking, doing very well in the Cup of Harmony and crashing out of our 6th World Cup knockout stage.

Ko-oren in the World Cup:
Appearances: 10
Survived the group: 6 (60%)
Won knockout games: 0 (0%)

You know it's coming, it's that stat and every generation of football fan on the archipelago has its own story of heartbreak. The older fans will probably remember the losses in the early to mid-70s, and the newer fans have their very own version of the eternal disappointment with World Cup 81. Given how long it has taken this nation to make the World Cup in the first place (no successful qualification from the 55th edition until the 64th), it's no surprise it will take us a little while to take the next hurdle.

So basically, what we've put together is this:

[Eastfield Lodge]

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Sport >>> Football

BREAKING: ICELFA issue vote of confidence in Williamson

The ICELFA board have issued an official announcement supporting Eastfield Lodge manager Jane Williamson’s continued involvement with the national team, until at least the 74th Cup of Harmony.

Even before the crowds had left the Memorial Stadium following Eastfield Lodge’s 3-1 loss to Saltstead that saw the hosts officially eliminated from qualifying for the 83rd World Cup, there were calls from all corners for manager Jane Williamson to lose her job. Fans were not happy, after the team lost the must-win match, as qualifying would have been entirely within Eastfield Lodge’s hands had they beaten the group’s second seeds. However, Saltstead’s victory means that they are 6 points clear with 6 to play for, and holding the first tiebreaker of head to head points.

An ICELFA spokesperson made a statement to the media shortly after the match, stating that there would be an emergency meeting to be held the day after where they would review the performances of the team this World Cup and whether or not Williamson would keep her job as a result. This afternoon, they have issued the following statement:

We, like most fans in this Imperial Commonwealth, have been disappointed with the performances of the national team in this qualifying campaign. However, we feel that manager Jane Williamson has certainly found some progress within the squad, as evidenced by how the team managed to mount an actual attempt at qualifying in the second half of the campaign as compared to the first half, and we also took into account the improvement in performance following the previous World Cup’s qualifying campaign. As such, we have determined that Mrs Williamson has shown enough to earn a vote of confidence into her continued employment, and therefore she will be managing the team going into the 64th Cup of Harmony, should the Imperial Commonwealth be invited. Her position shall be reviewed again upon the culmination of that tournament.

- Executive Board of the Imperial Commonwealth of Eastfield Lodge Football Association

ICELFA refused to comment on whether Williamson would be guaranteed a role in the future going into the Copa Rushmori when approached about the topic.

This story is still breaking, more will be added as time goes on.

---

MD11: San Félix 3-4 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (4-1-2-3): Couch - Holding, Hargreaves, Nagi, Salam - Qwivotic (<> Din 74’) - The Doctor, Farrow - Accardi, LaRosso (<> Cousin 65’), Murray (<> Blair 79’)
Goals (Assists): Farrow (11’ - The Doctor, 76’ - Cousin), Holding (38’ - Accardi), Murray (57’)

MD12: Eastfield Lodge 1-3 Saltstead
Line-up (4-1-2-3): Couch - Holding, Towers, Nagi, Garner - Qwivotic (<> Ilyess 76’) - The Doctor, Farrow - Accardi (<> Glibin 73’), LaRosso, Murray (<> Blair 64’)
Goals (Assists): LaRosso (47’)

Line-up to play Tulize (4-1-2-3)
Couch - Holding, Hargreaves, Maury, Salam - Ilyess - The Doctor, Farrow - Accardi, LaRosso, Murray

[Tamgu]

TAMGU ALLOWED TO FILL IN TEKRAN'S POSITION

Tamgu has finally been allowed to fill in Tekran's position after a 4 day wait. Marke Larsin has been picked to play in the last two (or more) games in WC83. The fans are mixed on whether this decision was correct or not. There were quite a few more potential players to fill in his role, but Nerovod has chosen Larsin. Larsin on the subject: "The news of Tekran's passing had a big effect on me. I always looked up to him when i was in Partizan's* academy. The people that aren't sure about me are fully entitled to feel that way, I know I am not the best player ever but they can be sure I will do everything I can to take us as far as we can go. You will not be disappointed."

*Partizan: Partizan Remeno FK. Professional team in Tamgu's highest division of football.

Marke Larsin in Partizan shirt

[Banija]

Part I

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition

Setting at Mujaguzo Palace

The Kabaka was sitting in a room with his two sons, Isebantu Mutungi and Omugabe Ttembo, and his mother, Sarauniya Iriama. He would have invited his daughter and his brother in the room for this conversation, as it was a big one, but they were on the Guardian Council. They would be relevant in this discussion, even more relevant than His Majesty, soon enough, and therefore, he did not want to be seen as overstepping his constitutional bounds here and discussing the issue. But still- Kabaka Mwanga was deeply distressed at the move that the Katikkiro was about to make.

"Father, Your Majesty, why did you call us in here?" Asked Omugabe Ttembo. The younger of the two Omugabes, and 4th in line to the throne, behind both of his brother's sons, was an avid questioner. "What's happening? is there some sort of crisis?"

"No, there isn't. Not yet anyways." Said Kabaka Mwanga. All three of the attendees looked at him intently. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them. "As you know, we are coming up on the 12 year mark of Matthias Mutebi's sentence. Under Banijan law, naturally, this means that, for a case that goes through the Banijan judicial system, there is a chance for the defendant to ask for a reduced sentence, or parole, or an appeal, or something along those lines. However, since his case never went through the judicial and was decided by international treaty, his is not subject to that law."

They all paused. "Ok, son." Said Sarauniya Iriama. "But then why are we here? That all seems so.... Routine. Surely you didn't summon us to the Palace to tell us that?"

"No, I did not mother." Replied Kabaka Mwanga. "I must inform all of you of this- Just yesterday, the Katikkiro told me that the cabinet voted to pursue a new policy regarding Matthias Mutebi. The Government, via the Minister of Justice Xolile Lubabalo, are going to instruct prosecutors to attempt to prosecute Matthias Mutebi, for his crimes against the state and international law, and attempt to go for the death penalty. And because they will be attempting to achieve the death penalty here for his crimes, it is likely that they will go to the Guardian Council for this case. While, as everyone knows, you can't appeal to them directly, I personally imagine that they won't resist the opportunity to get involved here."

All three of the others in the room sat in silence for a moment. It would be Omugabe Ttembo who spoke up first. "Oh freaking shit." He said. "Mutebi is an issue that we've largely put behind us. If he has any legions of old supporters around in the country, this won't be pretty. And the World Cup is coming here too! Just as the world shows up, this man is gonna be hanging from a rope. How much of the world even has the death penalty? Let alone the Banijan forms of the rope or the firing squad? Why remind everyone? Shouldn't we be focused on our preparations for the Finals?"

"You know I can't answer that questions, Ttembo." Said Kabaka Mwanga. "I'm not supposed to get involved in domestic affairs. Unfortunately, whenever Mutebi's involved.. The line between domestic and foreign policy seems blurred. But we need to make sure our bases are covered diplomatically." The Kabaka then turned to his oldest son, the future Kabaka. "Mutungi. You're the Waziri. We're going to have to deal with the diplomatic fallout. The Katikkiro's legal advisors tell him strictly that this move is not illegal under the terms of the treaty, but it's better that the Equestrians find out about this move from us, rather than from anybody else. Send a letter to Baker Park too. They're a major ally, they fought in that war, and they should know as well. Hell, we should probably send one to Lakiska. I'm sure they'll be interested in these developments."

"My sons, my mother, these are going to be interesting days in Banija..."

*This is the same letter, sent separately to each nation*

To: Foreign Minister-equivalent of Baker Park
Ambassador Swede Johanssen of Baker Park to Banija
Foreign Minister-equivalent of the Equestrian States
Foreign Minister of the Islamic Republic of the Busoga Islands

Hello, 

It is I who writes you, Isebantu Mutungi, on behalf of my father and the Kingdom of Banija. How do you do? Now, of course, it is probably surprising to all of you to be hearing from me on this day, about Matthias Mutebi. I will make the letter short and succinct. I am sure you will find this in your news broadcasts fairly soon, but my father values the relationships of our countries and wanted to be sure you were informed directly. The elected government of Banija will be taking Matthias Mutebi to trial under Banijan laws, and seeking the death penalty for his crimes. We would like to emphasize that we are ensuring that we are maintaining our treaty obligations, and if this appeal for a new sentece fails, the sentence agreed upon in the Banijan instrument of surrender shall be maintained until the end of his life. 

Please contact me back with any questions or concerns.

From, 

Isebantu Mutungi
Waziri of Banija

[Kelssek]

Kelssek clings to qualification chances as McDonagh shuffles the deck

New faces and a shaken-up starting eleven were on display as Kelssek beat Copper Cuprum 4-1 and drew 1-1 with Drawkland as the World Cup 83 qualifiers draw to their conclusion. The results leave Kelssek in second place in the group, with Sargossa having effectively clinched the automatic qualification spot.

Manager Kirk McDonagh was clearly looking to light a spark under some of the regulars with his team selection, commenting after the 3-3 draw with Osarius that a player's number of caps is no guarantee for being given more.

CF Outineau midfielder Adam Corvin earned his first two caps against Copper Cuprum and Drawkland, and on this performance could give Victor Clinton a struggle to regain a place in the national squad. Left-back Tim Bowler kept his spot but clearly got the message and was impressive against Copper Cuprum, exploiting the open flank as Tumoka Batuba's attempts to spark a comeback left the veteran increasingly chugging up and down the field as the match wore on.

The bench was also seen as a solution to Matt Lister's troubles in front of goal, with highly-touted Shaheen Taleb called in from his club in Taeshan and scoring the vital equalizer against Drawkland. Confusion about alternate realities, superintelligent hamsters, and when exactly the next match would be did not plague this Kelssekian team. But while they'll certainly take getting a point against the Elite Eleven, failing to win means Kelssek are as good as out of contention for the automatic qualification that comes with winning the group.

The crucial and most difficult match comes last: Kelssek's fate will be decided away to group leaders Sargossa. Much depends on what Sargossa and Drawkland do while Kelssek is on the couch for their bye, but getting at least a draw will be vital to hold on to second place and the chance to qualify via the playoffs. Of course, if Sargossa loses their penultimate match, Kelssek winning by seven goals could also be the ticket - but stranger things have not happened.

Match summaries

Copper Cuprum 1, Kelssek 4
Kelssek: Normand, Bowler, Halliger, Curtin, Douglass, Tremblay-Fillon, Corvin (Demetriev 79), Ó Tuathil (Liadon 84), Lapierre, Custworth (Bogdanor 72), Taleb.
Goalscorers: Taleb 20', Lapierre 43', Custworth 70', Liadon 90'+2
Copper Cuprum: Lobato, Batuba (Sudeba 72), Tukuku, Denisov, Titaka, Bumewa (Haroba 73), Vitalya, Tafesa, Maginoo, Jameson (Kayutsy 72), Weyler
Goalscorers: Maginoo 54'

Kelssek 1, Drawkland 1 (Exhibition Place, Kirkenes)
Kelssek: Normand, Bowler, Pokorný, Curtin, Liadon, Lapierre, Corvin, Demetriev (Tremblay-Fillon 81), Ó Tuathil, Taleb, Langelier (Custworth 62).
Goalscorers: Taleb 59'
Drawkland: Xander, Keys, Kingston, Bakker, Garnet, Southers, Hanson, Apollo, Rodney, Madison, Hunter
Goalscorers: Rodney 28'

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6


Change of Seasons, 7

Postgame, Matchday 12, New North Carolina

Ailen Koirala's thoughts were elsewhere as she made her way down through the arena from the seating reserved by the host nation for visiting dignitaries toward the locker rooms. We'll need to push the angle of controlling our own destiny again in the media. This situation can be made to look quite a bit less dire than it really is. Reaching the small, cinderblock-walled office meant for the usage of visiting managers, she considered briefly which chair to take. One sat behind the desk which dominated the small room, while another faced the desk from the front. To take the seat behind the desk, especially since it had been Donnell's desk earlier this evening, would set a hierarchical tone that Koirala wanted to avoid. On the other hand, to allow Donnell to sit behind the desk while she was in front of it would negate the dynamic of power, and in fact reverse it. I don't think I want either one of us behind that desk for this conversation. Working quickly - it wouldn't do to have Donnell walk in to find her shuffling furniture around - Koirala slid the first chair out from behind the desk, and positioned it facing the other chair. After a quick glance, she shoved the desk back a few inches, then seated herself in the repositioned chair. Barely a minute later, Bethany Donnell, the Brenecian manager of the national team walked in.

Koirala gestured at the empty chair. "Please sit down Bethany. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, there is a matter that we need to discuss."

"Please, it's just Beth." Donnell seated herself opposite Koirala, crossing one leg over the other. "You know, there was no need for all the formality. I know our performances have been a bit lackluster recently. The players know too, everyone knows what's being said in the media. Next time you can just call me up if you want to talk about my job performance."

"I'll keep that in mind, but the team's record isn't my main reason for meeting with you tonight. Today's results mean we technically control our own destiny, even if the odds for taking a point off The Holy Empire in the Dreamed Realm are slim." Koirala shifted uncomfortably, "None of this is public knowledge yet, only myself, the board, and some government officials know so far, and I'd like you to keep it from the players for the time being." She took a deep breath and continued, "A few weeks ago I received a letter from the Imperial Minister of Sport, Imperial as in the Squornshelan Imperium. He demanded that the Confederacy vacate its claims to Squornshelan footballing records from before the war, and have given us until the end of qualifying to respond. I'm sure you don't feel quite the visceral gut-punch reaction that we Confederates do at this news, but I'm sure you can see the seriousness of the situation."

"Absolutely. I've been here for over five years but even five months was enough to know how the average Confederate feels about the Imperium."

"Good. Now, while I am forced to admit that as the Imperium is the literal continuation of the old government they can make a case for ownership of the records, I am truly loathe to comply with this level of petty haughtiness. We still have some time to come to a final decision though, and I intend to use all of it. With all that said, I'd like to ask your opinion." Koirala looked expectantly at Donnell.

"Well I don't know how much my opinion matters, but I don't like the idea of giving that kind of legitimacy to them based on a technicality like that."

"How do you think the players and fans will take this news, and what would their feeling be if we gave up our claim?"

"The players definitely trace their heritage back to those old teams, so I think there would be a lot of resistance to just giving up. On the other hand, they're a pretty focused bunch. I don't think you'd see it having much effect on the field. I've got good veteran leaders out there, and a lot of experience by this time. You don't need to worry about the team's reaction." Donnell paused, "as for the fans, don't you have a room full of PR guru's somewhere you can ask? They'd know more than me."

"I heard their opinions already, now I'm asking yours."

"Fair enough. They'll be outraged. They'll want to you fight this every step of the way; it's mob mentality right?"

"I suppose it would be too much to expect a more reasoned response."

"Way too much. Look, take fan reaction into consideration, sure, but you can't be afraid of them. What's next, I let Twiitur pick my lineups?"

Koirala smiled, "I'm sure a few people out there would be in favor of that move. Maybe we'll think about doing that for a friendly match some time as a publicity stunt."

"That'd be a much quicker way to get me to resign than a formal letter."

Koirala forced a laugh. "Depending on how things go then next formal letter I write might have to be my own resignation."

"Well if you want advice on being sacked I've got some experience there too. If worse comes to worse, I can put in a good word for you in Brenecia if you decide to skip town."

The laugh was more genuine this time. "I appreciate the offer, but I hope not to need it. I'll let you get back to the team now." Koirala rose, then turned back at the door to the office, "We'll make sure you're informed well in advance of the eventual press conference so you can schedule a team meeting. I don't want the players finding out about this over social media."

"Appreciate that."

Donnell stood and followed Koirala out, and the two headed in opposite directions down the hallway.

- - - - - - - - - -

SRS Qualifying Schedule and Results:

MD1: Quakmybush 0-1 SRS
MD2: SRS 1-2 Siovanija & Teusland @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD3: Lashnakia 0-1 SRS
MD4: Bye
MD5: SRS 1-0 New North Carolina @ Eichlen Stadium (cap. 37,500), Rudlit, East Flania, SRS
MD6: Anollasia 1-5 SRS
MD7: SRS 0-2 The Holy Empire @ Bridger Lane (cap. 72,406), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD8: SRS 0-1 Quakmybush @ Pheldagrif Stadium (cap 45,620), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD9: Siovanija & Teusland 2-2 SRS @ Olimpski-Stadion (cap. 60,000), Borograd, STL
MD10: SRS 2-0 Lashnakia @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD11: Bye
MD12: New North Carolina 1-2 SRS
MD13: SRS v Anollasia @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD14: The Holy Empire v SRS @ Imperial Hippodrome

[Taeshan]

A strong performance on the road in Saint Émelie and the Purple Knights of Taeshan could go into the final match of their qualifying campaign knowing they basically had done everythingthey could on their way to hopefully Qualifying to the 83rd World Cup in Banija and the Equestrian States. The Knights knew that this was their best chance to give some final breathing room heading into a home match with Darmen and then a final matchday bye, in which for the most part they believed they would be able to only sit their and helplessly watch their fates decided. The Knights faithful headed in droves to Saint Émelie hoping for another road victory, and hoping for a miracle to happen in West Phoenicia, as they faced Mytanija.

The Knights did their part of the bargain. With a strong opening half hour the Knights put the pressure on the Saint Émelie defense early and often and were quite easily the better side. They were for the first time in a few matches unable to capitalize on their offensive output for the entirety of the first half. A strong showing was all for nothing, but the Knights seemed less than afraid of failing to score. The second half saw the arrival of Miles Snavely to partner the hot Wilhelm Nkitilina as it appeared to not be Abriel Torres' day. The Knights longtime captain, and current cap and goal leader quickly pushed the attack and found himself able to break the deadlock with his 128th career goal. Then Snavely in his 45 minute appearance helped the striker half his age earn career goal number 7, and number 6 of this qualifying campaign with a nicely worked through ball that Nkitilina slotted into the net, continuing the 18 year olds campaign to push for Team of the Tournament.

The result however wasn't the biggest news of the matchday. That would come in the locker room as the boys found out the thrilling result from West Phoenicia as the 192nd ranked Stampedes, coming off a 3-0 loss in Taeshan stunned Mytanija at home with a 3 goal rout of their own. The matchday turnaround had the Purple Knights locker room in stunned silence as they saw themselves all but mathematically qualified for the first World Cup in 38 years, and 19 qualifying campaigns. They could be the team to break the curse. That said they are not however mathematically qualified with only 6 points separating the two sides, and 9 goals. Two big wins for Mytanija and a big loss for the Knights against Darmen and the Chickens the Knights find themselves trying to hatch may be slaughtered before their time.

That said the Knights have an incredible opportunity on the next matchday to do it, to qualify for the nations first World Cup in almost 4 decades. Xander McDrew only dreamed of doing it as a player, and now in what is his last qualifying campaign he may do it as a coach. They also get the thrilling chance to do it at home against Darmen, a side all but out of qualifying needing a miracle of their own to even make a playoff. A side that just one campaign ago toyed with McDrew's side on their way to an easy qualification. The Knights first half defeat of Darmen in Darmen was stunning, but a second half victory at home in the Atlantea Coliseum that sends the Knights to a World Cup...That would be glorious.

In any case the Knights qualification magic number is now 1. They need a dropped point from Mytanija, a tie at home against Darmen or a win at home against Darmen and they qualify. They will be legends for years to come, and this mostly youthful squad, with 4 or 5 veterans surely to be remembered as the leadership that brought the Purple Knights back to the promised land could change football in Taeshan as we know it. It has been decades since the team was relevant internationally beyond Rushmore. The league has also seen better years. This could be the turn around the once competitive side has been waiting for for decades.

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

THE IMPOSSIBLE IS STILL POSSIBLE

by Taylor Larson,

The national motto is, “Making the impossible, possible.” That pertains to many different things, but in sports it has also applies in several different ways. Usually, though, those ways do not apply to World Cup qualifying. For Newmanistan and World Cup qualifying, making the impossible, possible, pertains to that time we were a pot two team, with two games to go, and had a four point advantage to qualify. Those two games were against two “unranked non roleplayers”. Not sure what role play has to do with anything, but Newmanistan lost both of those games. The impossible became possible, and Newmanistan failed to qualify for the World Cup. I forget what number that was, I want to say 47, but maybe not. Still it is something that happened. Soccer has been like that for us, and although we have won some tournaments in World Cup cycles, it is frustrations like that in which will always be remembered.

Maybe, the tide can turn. By the way, we are not playing Beach Soccer, and have done away with allowing interns to cover the World Cup. The interns could not come up with anything that happened after matchday two of the tournament that they were pretending was taking place in Drawkland and Saltstead, and since they cannot give us any more material, they were dismissed. I was an intern myself, once, yes, but I covered the tournament I was assigned with dignity, grace, and pictures of myself in a bikini and other suggestive clothing, That was a while ago, and while I know I still have the looks, I like to think that I am a little more respected now. Sorry about that ramble, but if I pretended to act like a saint and that I never did anything wrong, then I would also be trying to make the impossible, possible.

There are two matchdays left in World Cup qualifying, and Cosumar has clinched the automatic pass through spot. No one in this group has applied any pressure to them, so second place has been up for grabs. Eshan would have been the most logical team to be there, and they remain the most likely to still get it, however they sit at 14 points, with a 4-2-4 record, in third place. Lochario would have been your next best bet, but they have just 12 points. Who is in second in this group? That would be your Newmanistan Rockets. With a record of 4-3-3, Newmanistan has 15 points, and currently has the upper hand, but the road is tough ahead. Up next is Cosumar, at Emperor Michael I Stadium in Pocono City, and then they travel to Eshan. Can you just imagine if Newmanistan controlled their own destiny in that final game?

What is interesting, is that Newmanistan will indeed by in complete control of their own destiny in Eshan regardless of what happens in Pocono City. Here are the group P scenarios:

If Newmanistan loses to Cosumar:
– They will be at 15 points, still. Eshan is playing at Lochario, and we should be rooting for a draw there. If Lochario defeats Eshan, they will be at 15 with Eshan still at 14. Newmanistan controls their own destiny here, and must defeat Eshan. If they defeat Eshan, they clinch 2nd with 18 points, regardless of whether or not Lochario gets to 18 points, because Newmanistan holds the tiebreaker in Lochario (1-1-0 head to head advantage). If Newmanistan drew against Eshan, then Newmanistan is vulnerable to the ending Lochario v Fevhader result. Obviously, a loss to Eshan eliminates us. If Eshan defeated Lochario, they’d be at 17 points, but if we beat Eshan, we still get ahead of them.

If Newmanistan draws Cosumar:
– They will be at 16 points and things don’t change all that much. If we defeat Eshan in the finale, then we’re clear. If we lose to Eshan in the finale, then we are eliminated. A draw against Eshan puts at 17 points, and still makes us vulnerable to the Lochario v Fevhader result if Lochario defeated Eshan. If Eshan defeated Lochario, then a draw in the Eshan match for us would not be enough, because we’d both be on 17 points and Eshan would have the tiebreaker on us. Now, if Lochario and Eshan drew, and then we drew against Eshan, we finish second.

If Newmanistan defeats Cosumar:
– If this occurs, then Lochario is no longer relevant to us. However, if Eshan defeated Lochario, we would still need to secure at least a draw in the Eshan match. If Lochario defeated Eshan, then we clinch second right then and there. A draw in that match, and then an Eshan win over us would send Eshan through, because we would tie, and they would get the tiebreaker.

The playoffs will consist of 24 teams placed into six groups of four. It’s essentially an additional group stage, and the six group winners of that stage advance to the World Cup. So even if Newmanistan got that far, there would still be a large hill to climb, but no one will have expected Newmanistan to have gotten that far. In fact, I don’t think anyone expected Newmanistan to even get as far as we are now

[South Covello]

Trial of Jacob Brackers, Final Part

It was now the final day of the trial of Jacob Brackers for the assassination of Carter Redwin. Both the defense attorney, Dalia Scottson, and the prosecturor, Daxter McLean, would give closing statements before the jury would reitre for deliberation.

Dalia Scottson's Closing Statement:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have an important decision before you, a decision which rests on the very foundation on which our country was founded. Before you is a defendant, Jacob Brackers, being charged with a very serious crime, the assassination of President-elect Carter Redwin. If convicted, he could face life in prison, the maximum sentence our laws allow. But, as you have just heard from us and our witnesses, Mr. Brackers is asserting a necessity defense. As Judge Pringle will inform you, there are several elements which we need to show. First, we need to show that the killing of Carter Redwin was necessary to avoid his rise as a tyrant and all that would entail. Return of the death penalty, dismantling of democracy, genocide of all minorities, you name it. Carter Redwin himself admitted that he would do these things mere minutes before he was shot. So there can be no doubt, none at all, that he would do so.

"But even if you do have some doubt, the standard of proof here, that you must rely on, is the proponderance of evidence. On the preponderance of evidence, is it more likely that Carter Redwin would become this tyrant if Jacob Brackers did not take action, or is it more likely that he wouldn't? And ladies and gentlemen of the jury, even if it's no guarantee Carter Redwin would have become a tyrant, it's certainly more likely than not. Therefore, on the preponderance of the evidence, you must find that we have satisfied the first element of the necessity defense, that it was necessary to avoid the rise of Carter Redwin as a tyrant.

"The second and final element is whether the harm caused by Carter Redwin's rise as a tyrant would be greater than the harm caused by his death. There are, as you heard from our witness from the Census Bureau, approximately 500,000 immigrants living in South Covello right now. There are approximately 15 million blacks, 2 million Muslims, 3 million Jews, 20 million atheists, and 2.5 million members of the LGBT community, Together, they are almost half of our country. Almost half. And all of them were in mortal danger if Carter Redwin were allowed to take office. How do we know that? He said so himself. In his victory speech, he promised to follow through on what he'd been saying all along - to Make South Covello Christian Again, to Make South Covello White Again, to launch a mass genocide of all minorities to ensure that only those he viewed as "pure" were allowed to live.

"And do you really think he'd stop there? Even if you are a striaght, white, Christian, male, everyone in a nation is in danger from a tyrant. Get on his wrong side for whatever reason, bam! You meet death by his firing squad. And the inevitable end to that is a return to the Gregist days, where such "crimes" as sneezing, cricizing our Fearless Leader, and saying the word 'coconut', or any other word Lord Almighty Carter doesn't like, all are punishable by death. We were all in danger if Carter Redwin were allowed to become President. This whole country...."

Dalia Scottson's closing statement continued for several hours. She concluded at 12:10 PM, at which point Judge Pringle called for an hour recess for lunch. Court resumed at 1:15 PM for Daxter McLean's closing statement.

Daxter McLean's Closing Statement:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Ms. Scottson is right about at least one thing - this case is about the very foundation on which this country was founded. We are a democracy - we literally fought a war, a Revolution, so we could become a democracy. And rightly or wrongly, the people voted, as it is their right and indeed their moral responsibility to do in a democracy, and chose that Carter Redwin should be our next President. Whether you agree with that or not, whether you voted for Carter Redwin or not, you must recognize that in a democracy, a free democracy like ours, the people choose their leader. And they chose Carter Redwin. Mr. Brackers, completely unilaterally, chose that the will of the people should not be carried out, and assassinated President-elect Redwin. We have a word for people who override the will of the people - we call them dictators. Jacob Brackers overrode the will of the people.

"Ms. Scottson and her witnesses will try to argue that we know, we magically know, that Carter Redwin would become a tyrant if elected, that he would launch a mass genocide of all minorities, that he would destroy our free ideals, but we don't know. We just don't know. There is no way to magically see the future. But we do know one person who attempted to dismantle our democracy, and that person is the defendant, Jacob Brackers. In a democracy, we use ballots to decide who our leader is, not bullets. By acquitting the defendant, you are sending the message that obtaining political goals by violent means, literally the very definition of terrorism, is morally acceptable. And that's exactly what the defendant, Jacob Brackers did...."

Daxter McLean's closing statmenet also went on for several hours and concluded at 4:30 PM. Because of the lateness of the hour, Judge Pringle sent the jurors home for the day and said she would read them their instructions the next morning before starting deliberations. However, before the jurors could leave the court room, a court officer informed the judge that threats had been received against jurors if they voted a certain way, deliberately not stating which side the threats came from even though that information was known. Therefore, Judge Pringle, with the agreement of both attorneys, ordered the jurors sequestered at a hotel near the courtroom with police officers posted outside and inside to ensure nobody could influence them. They would receive an armed escort to and from the courtroom the next day and every other day until they reached a verdict.

The next day.....

Judge Lucinda Pringle's Instructions to the Jury:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard from bnoth sides in this case. You now have to retire and deliberate to reach a verdict. To do this, you must answer several questions. To help you, you will be provided with a form, which I will now read.

PART 1 - ELEMENTS:

QUESTION 1: Do you find, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the defendant Jacob Brackers killed Carter Redwin. If YES, proceed to Question 2. If NO, find the defendant NOT GUILTY.

QUESTION 2: Do you find, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the killing by the defendant Jacob Brackers of Carter Redwin was done with premeditation? If YES, proceed to question 3. If NO, find the defendant not guilty of assassination but proceed to Question 4 on the lesser included charge of VOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER.

QUESTION 3: Do you find, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the defendant Jacob Brackers was aware that Carter Redwin was the President-elect at the time he killed him? If YES, proceed to question 4. If NO, find the defendant not guilty of assassination but proceed to Question 4 on the lesser included charge of MURDER.

PART 2 - NECESSITY DEFENSE:

QUESTION 4: Do you find, on the preponderance of evidence, that Jacob Brackers' killing of Carter Redwin was necessary to avoid Redwin becoming a tyrant? If YES, proceed to Question 5. If NO, find the defendant GUILTY and proceed to Part 3.

QUESTION 5: Do you find, on the preponderance of evidence, that the evil referenced in Question 4 would create a greater harm than the harm caused by the act committed by the defendant? If YES, find the defendant NOT GUILTY. If NO, find the defendant GUILTY and proceed to Part 3.

Part 3 - MITIGATING FACTORS:

If you answered NO to Question 2, proceed to Question 7. If you answered YES to Question 2, proceed to Question 6.

QUESTION 6: Do you find any factors that would mitigate the charge of ASSASSINATION or MURDER to VOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER? If YES, list them and find the defendant GUILTY of the lesser included charge of MANSLAUGHTER. If NO, find the defendant GUILTYT of ASSASSINATION or MURDER per your answers to Questions 1-3.

QUESTION 7: Do you find any factors that would mitigate the charge of VOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER to INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUHGHTER? If YES, list them and find the defendant GUILTY of the lesser included charge of INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER. If NO, find the defendant GUILTY of VOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER.

Judge Pringle then sent the jury to deliberate. They deliberated for over 25 hours over the course of four days, but finally they were ready to render their verdict. TV networks all across South Covello broke off their regularly scheduled programming to join it live.

Verdict Announcement:

The forewoman hands the verdict slip to the Bailiff who hands it to Judge Pringle.

Lucinda Pringle: Madam Forewoman, I understand you have reached a verdict.

Jury Forewoman: Yes, Your Honor.

Lucinda Pringle Before you announce the verdict, I want to instruct everyone in the gallery that there will no outbursts following the announcement of the verdict. I do not tolerate any such outbursts in my courtroom, and anyone who disrupts the process will be fined for contempt. Thank you to everyone for your cooperation. Now, Madam Forewoman, are you ready?

Jury Forewoman: Yes, Your Honor.

Lucinda Pringle: OK, on the first count of the indictment, assassination of Carter Redwin, how do you find?

Jury Forewoman: We find the defendant, Jacob Brackers, not guilty.

Lucinda Pringle: And on what basis do you find this?

Jury Forewoman: We find the defendant not guilty by reason of necessity.

Lucinda Pringle Do you therefore find the defendant not guilty of all other counts as well?

Jury Forewoman: Yes, Your Honor.

Lucinda Pringle: Very well, the defendant shall be released immediately. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this court thanks you for your service. I would like to encourage everyone in South Covello, on both sides of the political debate, to avoid taking any violent action as a result of this verdict. Peaceful protest is the very foundation of our nation, but when those protests turn violent, that is simply unacceptable and I am sure the authorities will prosecute it to the fullest extent of the law. Thank you. Court is adjourned.

The news about the acquittal dominated the news cycle to the point where most networks barely covered the first round of the special election to replace Redwin, only showing the results in bottom graphics and periodically updating them. Due to the logjam by approximately 23 viable anti-Redwin candidates, the one pro-Redwin candidate, Tim Scott, finished first with a mere 21.3 percent of the vote. Northwest Baycoast Senator Luisa Benitez finished second with 20.9 percent and will face Scott in a runoff in three weeks. In third was Mountain Post Senator John Looprat with 20.8 percent, followed by Curts Notch/Hillview and Watercrest Senator Kurvi Enapez with 13.4 percent. Nobody else got more than 10 percent.

[Timuria]

Red Wolves Draw

by Tufan Nursultan

Timuria 1–1 Balqia
Vatan Ercetin (39); Balto D. Faj (55)

The national teams hopes of making any sort of appearance at the World Cup appear to be effectively over after a sloppy performance from both them and Balqia led to a fair result in a 1-1 draw with neither team looking like they had outplayed the other. The result leaves the national team well adrift of 95X who will likely be the group's representative in the playoffs.

Both teams struggled to establish themselves with both teams failing to breakdown the other's defence. What chances did fall either teams way were often wasted, especially by Vatan Ercetin who fired no more than 3 shots well wide of the target as he was often snatching at his chances. The struggles extended beyond him, with the usually capable Ertan Renda sending a free-kick almost out of the stadium. The deadlock was broken by Vatan Ercetin who managed to get a clean strike on the ball and score after a difficult day up to that point for him.

The second half would offer little in the way of quality offence with both team's defences being uncharacteristically strong with both goalkeepers making several commanding saves. The visitors would equalise with a long range effort that was deflected beyond the finger tips of the returning Saban Inekci, who put in a strong performance on his return to the national team's starting XI. The rest of the game would fizzle out under the frankly weak play that both teams offered up.

Elsewhere in the group Valanora easily dispatched Kiryu-shi 3-0 and former cellar dwellers Lavize earned a credible 2-0 victory over Kavagrad.

What they said after the match:

Bekir Altingunes: "We wanted to win here tonight and the fact that we couldn't will likely mean we don't progress. That doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of positives to draw from this result. Balqia are a very good side and I think that for us to earn this draw it says a lot about how good we are and how good they are. Hopefully we can both be at the Cup of Harmony and maybe we'll play again, I'll look forward to it if we do."

Player Ratings:

Saban Inekci 7/10 - His return to the starting XI was more than adequate. He showed that the national team has 2 very good options at goalkeeper.

Ozbek Sarikaya 7/10 - A good performance in a game where the defences shined.

Osman Hasanoglu 6/10 - Seemed a step behind at times, but put in a sufficiently solid performance.

Eyup Mustafa 7/10 - Had a strong performance as the defence showed some steel.

Gokdeniz Dag 6/10 - Ever reliably mediocre, he didn't make any mistakes, but he never shined.

Atilla Acar 8/10 - Energetic and involved in almost everything positive.

Yusuf Ihsanoglu 6/10 - Struggled to provide good offensive impetus to the team, but did contribute defensively.

Tayyar Ozel 6/10 - Was kept quiet, but didn't let his head drop.

Ertan Renda 6/10 - Usually a key player he was stuck in the shadow of Atilla today.

Caner Turan 7/10 - He was a live wire the whole match and put the opposition defence under pressure.

Vatan Ercetin 7/10 - Got his usual goal, it shouldn't feel routine for a striker to score every match, but it is becoming that way with him.

Substitutes:

Beyhan Enver 6/10 - A solid performance in relief on the flanks.

Hakan Diren 7/10 - Performed his defensive duties very effectively and showed he still had something to offer the national team.

Man of the match: Atilla Acar - He was he engine that kept the match alive for large periods, such an exceptionally fit player who exudes energy will have a bright future.

Player of the match for Balqia: Balto D. Faj - He got the goal for the visitors who like our national team struggled against the defensive organisation they came up against.

Our editors have finally got some points for our promotion. It's been so long that we were beginning to forget what the promotion was, they've got the result and the score correct for the first time, meaning an additional 5 people will be getting the prize of 10,000 Demirs.

Schedule and editor's predictions with the results so far:
MD1: vs Kavagrad, Manat School Sports Centre, L 0-2, Result: D 1-1
MD2: @ Kiryu-shi, W 1-0, Result: W 4-3
MD3: Bye
MD4: vs 95X, Tim-Enerji Park, L 0-3, Result: L 2-3
MD5: @ Balqia D 2-2, Result: D 3-3
MD6: vs Valanora, Hisar School Field of Excellence, L 1-4, Result: L 3-5
MD7: @ Lavize D 1-1, Result W: 4-3
MD8: @ Kavagrad L 1-3, Result W 3-2
MD9: vs Kiryu-shi, Maden-Is Stadium W 2-0, Result W 3-1
MD10: Bye
MD11: @ 95X L 0-4, Result D 4-4
MD12: vs Balqia, Manat School Sports Centre D 1-1, Result D 1-1
MD13: @ Valanora L 0-4
MD14: vs Lavize, Belediye Park W 1-0

Total points won: 15

The next match: The national team will go for a potentially meaningless match against group leaders Valanora. The Red Wolves will be looking to at the very least spoil their unbeaten record. Though many will not fancy the national team, but they have surprised people in the past and it would be a huge morale boost if they managed to again.

[Saintland]

King's Speech

Hello, my loyal subjects. As you know, I am King Paulus XVI, the reigning King of Saintland. Today, the multiverse witnessed a grave miscarriage of justice as Jacob Brackers, an assassin who shot President Carter Redwin, was acquitted in South Covello on the absurd grounds that murdering a good Christian man who wanted to "Make South Covello Christian Again" was necessary to prevent him from becoming another Lord Almighty Gregory. This is an absurd decision as Lord Almighty Gregory was infamous for persecuting Christians, repeatedly making false claims to have assassinated our leaders including my grandfather, who was still alive and well at that time. As you know, he was later killed by Feministvs Sanctvsterra, a heretical terrorist organization that sought to invert the natural order and subjugate men to women. This was backed by my accursed uncle Petrus the Heretic, his foreign-born heathen wife Veronica and numerous foreign co-conspirators and actually managed to oppress the people of the western half of my Kingdom for decades until I finally put down their insolent rebellion against God and against nature itself.

As these recent actions in South Covello show that the nation no longer has a functioning legal system that can punish domestic terrorists, my Government will be classifying them as a "State Sponsor of Terror" effective immediately. Henceforth, all of my subjects are barred from travelling to South Covello, which was formerly known as Gregoryisgodistan. In addition, the people of South Covello are prohibited from entering my Kingdom and I have ordered the immediate cessation of all international trade with South Covello. Anyone found in violation of the travel ban will face a mandatory sentence of 15 years in prison with a monthly flogging of 40 lashes. Anyone found in violation of the trade laws will face confiscation of all of their property and monthly floggings of 40 lashes for a minimum of 1 year. Any foreign nationals violating the trade laws will also be barred from leaving Saintland until they repay their debt to me. If it is not clear, I will be ordering all of my law enforcement agencies to strictly enforce these laws with no clemency whatsoever for anyone found in violation.

These sanctions will remain on South Covello until such time as a number of outstanding issues are settled in a manner acceptable to me. Firstly, Jacob Brackers must be brought to justice and serve a minimum of life imprisonment, if not the death penalty. Either South Covello must alter its laws to ensure that this criminal gets what is coming to him or they must voluntarily deport him to a nation that has law and order. Secondly, South Covello must immediately abolish the "necessity" defense. While maintaining a defense of self-defense is fine with me, it must be limited so that assassination of a public figure is not considered "self-defense". Before I go into my third demand, I wish to play a rather gruesome video. I will pause for a minute so that any parents watching may remove their children from the room and place them in an environment where they will be sheltered from the video I am about to show, which would normally be considered unfit for public broadcast.

Thank you for removing your children from the room. Now, please watch the following video. This is from World Cup of Hockey 25 after our National Ice Hockey Team, led by my uncle Josephus, had just defeated Gregoryisgodistan by a score of 1 goal to nil. As you can see, an "Enemy Crusher" thug, whom my intelligence service believes to be related to Jacob Brackers, murdered my uncle in cold blood just because the "Ice Slaves", as they called their hockey team at the time, had been vanquished fairly and squarely in a hockey match. While I imagine that this "Enemy Crusher" is likely long dead by now and therefore I can't reasonably demand that he be put to death, I do demand that the government of South Covello pay reparations to make us whole. I had neglected to ask for reparations for a long time because I wished to maintain our relations with South Covello as best as I could but now I see no such need to hold back on demanding justice for my fallen uncle! His death caused irreparable harm to this Kingdom as my father believed that uncle Josephus was a better choice than him to be king. While I would likely not be king right now if my uncle had become king, I would still prefer that as the well-being of my Kingdom is my first priority, not some twisted selfish desire to hold power. As they say, "heavy lies the head that wears the crown" and I can confirm that the crown is really heavy on my head even with God fully behind me. I urge the next president of South Covello, whomever that may be, to immediately open talks with me to settle these matters. Thank you.

[Eura]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Bellight, Mareibat

Moonlight filtered through the blinds that covered Cain’s window, giving him just enough illumination to find his way to the light switch. He flicked it to no avail. Another power cut. The old warrior coped with the situation by using his mobile phone as a torch, allowing him to get dressed and wander outside. The handler Regan was still asleep in the living room of this tiny safehouse flat, lying across a sofa with a video game controller resting on his chest, the television having cut out with the power while he was sleeping. Cain crept past and exited into the stairwell and then out into the street. It was a humid evening, the latest in an atypical pattern of warm weather falling on Bellight. The city was quiet even at one in the morning at the end of the working week. Pubs were empty, restaurants closed and the streets under curfew. There were no street lights, so the lunar glow would have to suffice.

Cain walked briskly towards the Armaments Office that he’d recently been summoned to. He hoped to find Tolinet and speak to him about what to do next, now that Eura’s attention had been roused and the forces of Apox were knocking on the door. Cain had more contacts that could be put to use, but with this much scrutiny on the island and entry points to it, he had no idea how to get new weaponry in. The office was in sight. On the street corner by the pub on the opposite side of the road, a few BPA men were gathered smoking and laughing among themselves. Above them was the lynched body of an unfortunate local, hung from a large street light and illuminated by a searchlight. It was a warning to locals who might waver from the cause – don’t even think about it. The sign around their neck reading “LOOSE LIPS COST ME MY LIFE” made the point more explicit for those who didn’t quite get it.

Approaching the office, Cain heard a low buzzing noise. He looked around expecting to see something unusual, however nothing presented itself. The three guards outside the office remained unmoved. Having briefly stopped, Cain shook his head and went to cross the road. In a split second the office exploded in a fireball of orange and white, throwing him backwards through the air all of ten feet. Everything went black for a while, until he was woken by a burning sensation in his torso. A couple of BPA militia were carrying him in a hurry, the glow of the burning office reflecting off their faces. He passed in and out of consciousness, barely registering the pain he’d normally be feeling, and soon found himself being bundled into the back of a flatbed truck. As a medic inserted a drip into his arm, his eyelids began to flutter, and he passed out.

The next time he would open his eyes it was daytime. There was a street level slot through which sunlight lit up his lower body in the makeshift hospital that this former basement had become. He didn’t know the details of what had happened yet, but even in this state Cain could hazard a guess that Eura had decided to hit back at the BPA. If it was only a few select strikes that would be a relief. On the other hand, if the Euran’s intended to knock the BPA out completely, he needed to get out of this place as quickly as possible. The light was blocked out by an approaching figure. Tolinet! Inexplicably the BPA’s main armourer was alive. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Not particularly good.’ Cain grimaced as he tried to drag himself to a sitting position. ‘How come you’re not dead?’
‘Wasn’t in the building at that hour, and fortunately no-one else was either. We lost the guys outside though. You took a bit of shrapnel to your chest. It’s been pulled out and you don’t need surgery but I think you should rest up for a bit.’

Tolinet lit a cigarette and checked no-one was listening from the next room before continuing. ‘Listen, the Euran Navy hit more or less everything in the city itself. Our joint down south is fine though along with all the other rural facilities. The chief has given a dispersion order – everyone out of the capital and wait in the hills, in the woods. We need to be ready to fight asymmetrically whomever invades.’
‘And what use do I have in this situation? We can’t import anything.’
‘Your expertise is always going to be valuable. Let’s start with that. Hold on.’ There was a commotion out in the street. ‘Stay here.’
‘To hell with that, I’m coming with you.’ Tolinet didn’t bother to force Cain to stay as they wandered outside to find a crowd in the middle of the road, gathered around a spectacle that they could not directly observe. All they could see was a truck.

They forced their way through, flashing their BPA credentials, and found at the centre a body on the back of the truck. The victim wore a green flight suit with a tiny (and immediately recognisable) yellow and blue flag patch on their arm. Their face was covered by a flight helmet, which had been cracked. Blood and dirt covered their chin and upper body. ‘Hey! Who is in charge here?’ A civilian in blue overalls climbed around the front bumper of the truck and pushed past several onlookers. ‘Me.’
‘This is your truck? Where did you find them?’
‘I didn’t, some of your boys did. She was alive when they got her and now she isn’t.’ Cain reacted with indifference. He had no problem with another dead Euran. Tolinet was much more anxious. ‘Where are they? Fucking idiots! They’re lucky enough to get one of their fighters, and what do they do? Kill the pilot in cold blood. A female Euran pilot, an officer, they might as well have gone to Bastion and told all the newspapers to call for a war! FUCK!’ He impatiently summoned over one of his less weedy henchmen. ‘Right, you listen to me. I want you to find whoever got the pilot. Shoot whoever authorised this. Disarm any others. Get a few men and salvage the plane wreck if it fell over land.’ He turned to Cain. ‘Me and you are getting out of this city now. If you don’t like it, I don’t care.’ Cain had no intention of objecting. If he stayed here any longer there was no guarantee he’d be as lucky when, or if, the next airstrike came.

Office of State Intelligence, Bastion, Eura

‘…all I’m asking for is basic resource and one shot at this. My track record with Mareibat has been flawless; you have to give me that.’
‘You’re proposing what, a snatch job?’
‘In, hit ‘em hard, grab anything or anyone useful and get out. Easy. A snatch job, yeah, you could call it that. There’s three different farms, all BPA occupied, all have activity indicating command and control or something more than hosting a few militiamen. We’ll need to go for all of them at once.’
‘And you realise that I can’t just magically acquire military resources for some two-bit analyst’s wildcard black op, right?’
‘Come on Sandra, this is staring us right in the face! The Chairman said he wanted a quick win in the Mareibat roundtable right? To get the PM a result. Well, here’s our chance. There’s something iffy about the BPA and we need to find out what. I’m betting at least one of these targets will tell us more about them. You’ve heard about the missile right?’
‘I have. Sameban.’
‘Exactly. Our question has to be, how did they acquire it, and who told them how to use it? Give me what I need and I’ll answer that question.’
‘Ok, ok. I’ll make some calls.’

Countryside, near Port Folly
Bellight, Mareibat

At three different locations on the island of Bellight, less than twenty four hours after Eura’s “resilient response” attacks on the BPA’s infrastructure in Bellight city and other shows of force, a much more discreet response was taking place. Euran special forces – Marine Commandos – we’re launching rapid assaults on all three locations simultaneously in an attempt to acquire intelligence and potentially captured BPA leaders. From all of these sites that Euran intelligence had concluded were high value in nature, Port Folly would be the last to be hit by a matter of moments. The other two sites being attacked would turn out to be a waste of time. One would be empty, the Euran’s leaving without incident and only red faces to show for it. The other would not be, it being a BPA barracks. However after a brief firefight and the capture of the barracks, the Euran’s would realise no valuable intelligence or assets were present.

It was the Port Folly site that was a gold mine in waiting. Literally a gold mine; the BPA had converted a disused pit’s worksite buildings into a workspace for their armaments division. Port Folly was home to a vast amount of paperwork and electronic evidence on computers that could be used to practically write the official biography of the BPA and its operations. Its defenders were a couple of dozen BPA militia who were in no position to resist a night time attack by highly trained special forces. Worse, they didn’t even know it was coming. One of the militia defending this treasure trove was Caitlin Blom, a 32 year old former teacher turned revolutionary. She had decorated herself in street fighting during the unprecedented seizure of nearby towns, and was glad to be out of the fighting for now. Her first clue that something was wrong was the sound of helicopters whirring nearby. The BPA didn’t have helicopters.

Other militia members guarding the location gathered by the dimly lit pre-fabricated offices at the top of the mine, when they too heard the sound of helicopter blades in the darkness, too far away to be an immediate threat yet generating concern for those present anyway. ‘Any idea of direction?’
‘Who knows and who cares? Maybe it’s one of ours.’
‘How could that be?’
‘I don’t know. I hear we’re getting a lot of old Sameban gear these days. Maybe the Regis Militia finally got that one they captured working too.’ Caitlin listened to the conversation with a hint of worry. ‘Blom!’ She perked up at the mention of her name. ‘I’m here!’
‘Take Farleigh, go over to the road and watch the approach. Whatever or whomever we’ve heard it seems like they’ve moved on but let’s not be complacent.’ Blom obeyed and let her worries fade slightly, reassured that the noise had rescinded. She marched over to the road with Farleigh, a younger woman who hadn’t yet got permission for a proper rifle.

They took position in a shallow gully by the side of the road and waited for a while. Nothing was happening…until the noise returned. It was louder this time and grew, until it became a crescendo. The lights went out on the pre-fabricated office and other mine buildings – clearly the others were spooked too. Farleigh was confused by what was going on. ‘Is that a plane? Are we being bombed?’
‘No, shut up a minute. Damn I wish we had NVGs.’ NVGs, or Night Vision Goggles, were extremely rare in the BPA due to low stocks and no local capability to produce them. ‘Can you see anything?’
‘No. It’s just black.’
‘Yeah. Maybe they’re going to pass again.’ Blom was wrong. The rolling thunder grew and finally swooped over them, blowing the long grass in all directions and causing air to whip uncomfortably against Blom’s eyes. ‘Wow, that’s close! Get your pistol, quick!’ Farleigh took out a fairly dainty looking handgun and shrunk slightly in her spot, very obviously afraid. Blom gave her a reassuring rub on the shoulder and they waited.

The noise seemed to now be originating a few hundred metres away, somewhere in the vicinity of the buildings. Blom watched and waited further. She was tempted to fire some shots into the air with her rifle. If the helicopters were that low and weren’t friendly, it might scare them off. She thought she could see their shadows well enough to take a pop. Instead she gave in to caution and did nothing, justifiably fearful of the unknown. Then there were flashes accompanied by the crackle of gunfire, seemingly out of nothing. Two loud bangs cut through the background noise and reached her, matching perfectly with two bright flashes at the position of the prefabs. Farleigh was beginning to panic. ‘Fuck, I think this is an attack. That can’t be good right? What do we do? Blom!’ Blom stayed rooted to the spot and did absolutely nothing. Faintly she could hear the occasional scream or shout as the fighting – it was clear what was happening now – continued. ‘There’s only two of us. We can’t make a difference. Stay down and let’s hope the other’s make it.’ Farleigh sat aghast at the cowardice of Blom, supposedly the decorated and heroic one of the two of them.

Ten minutes passed before the gunfire drew to a halt, with the helicopters having returned to a slightly higher altitude and moved away, almost far enough that they couldn’t be heard anymore. ‘Do you think our guys won?’ The sound of helicopter blades got louder again. They were coming back, and Blom knew instinctively that couldn’t be a good thing. ‘I don’t think so. If their guys were all dead why would the helo’s come back?’ It was still dark but the helicopters were finally at least somewhat visible, lit up by a green flare that had been set off on the ground by the attackers, and they had come in to land. The attackers were gathered outside the pre-fab and looked completely different to the BPA; dressed in all black and covered in expensive looking tactical gear. Through the grass Blom couldn’t see much, other than the attackers carrying what looked like computers into the back of their helicopters. ‘Blom for fuck sake, are you seeing this? We need to do something!’
‘Don’t be an idiot.’ Blom was taken aback as Farleigh suddenly pushed her onto her side and snatched the rifle. The youngster rose from the ditch and took aim. ‘No!’ She fired off a few shots. ‘Shit, I can’t hit the people! I’m gonna’ try hit the bird!’ She advanced out of the ditch and Blom could do nothing other than hide and watch. She watched on with hope that Farleigh would see sense and run for cover, only to have it dashed when a burst of gunfire cut her down. Within a few minutes, the helicopters were gone, and Blom found herself all alone.

[Jeruselem]

Busoga Islands, after Jeruselem upset Busoga Islands 1-0 ... Princess Cassie and Princess Bianca

Cassie: This is Princess Cassie for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in the Busoga Islands for another qualification round of the world cup 83. I'm again with fellow princess Bianca.
Bianca: Oh hello everyone at home
Cassie: Just to reiterate, we're eliminated. And well we came here to play the 2nd placed team. And we expected to kinda lose ... but we didn't. We beat the hosts 1-0! On rankings, this was not an upset but based on table standings ... it was.
Bianca: Yeah, our 3rd win ... well we aren't going be last in the group hey.
Cassie: Yes, the hosts wanted points and might have thought, it's just those stupid Princesses who can't seem to win games. But we're one of those really annoying teams. We've lost narrowly to Vilita and drawn them. We can beat anyone. Today, we upset a team who wanted upset the top seed. And they failed the Jeruselem test.
Bianca: We're not the best by far but we're not incapable either.

Cassie: They really did try push home the win but our Bianca here stopped them at every turn. Well, a win for team who could have done better.
Bianca: Yeah, I wish we had a few more goals scored earlier in the cup.
Cassie: Certainty not taking it easy because you don't need to do much, we're eliminated and it doesn't matter what we do
Bianca: I'm a goalkeeper, I want no goals to be scored when I'm in the box
Cassie: But the 2nd half, we have scored more goals so we're taking more opportunties at the expense of defense
Bianca: I guess it's backfired but we were never in the hunt from the 1st half, unless we started winning

Cassie: The other results are Vilita beating other rivals Mattijana 5-1 in Mattijana and Vartugia beating Saintland 2-1 in a meaningless game.
Bianca: Well, we did Vilita a BIG favour. The two contenders to their top spot lost, and hence they secured a playoff.
Cassie: We can still cause problems even if we're eliminated
Bianca: We could have been the team who came third and put ourselves in contention.
Cassie: We've got one more game and that's it.
Bianca: Yes

Cassie: Big news, you're retiring.
Bianca: Yes, time for the younger generation to take over.
Cassie: You don't need to work, being a Princess now.
Bianca: I'm not staying at home taking care of 100 kids. I'll be working.
Cassie: We still expect kids
Bianca: Err, I know

Cassie: What about taking on the World Cup coaching position when you're ready
Bianca: I dunno, it's a lot of hard work. I'm not sure I'm capable of that much
Cassie: Not now but when you're ready
Bianca: Well, it's not for now. I have so much to learn about other aspects of football.
Cassie: That's it from us! See you all later.

[Qusmo]

Very important disclaimer.

I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX.

Chapter X.

Azeld-Nexev Xlo was relieved that Qusmi Bez had approved their odd plan to recruit A Blog to engage in guerilla warfare against their political enemies, but something was off. In order to publish any of the QAnon material that Xlo was sending them, the blog demanded that Qusmo declare an actual war - against Mattijana, of all places. Wasn’t that someplace in The North Pacific or something? They thought they remembered Mattijana winning some small regional trophy a while back but always bottling it in actual WCC play. It seemed like this blogger was asking for much too much. In the pit of their stomach, they knew something was up. They winced as they typed in the link for A Blog.

It was even worse than they had thought.

---

A Blog

MOFO SPORTS SUCKS

I TOD YOU. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT THE GOVEMENT WAS USING ME. & GUESS WHAT? I was RIGHT.

you may not have BELIEVE e that qusmos own GORVORNORMORNT was trying ito INFRITRATE MY LOG but its the TRUTH. & what do I say to THAT? HEY QUSMI BEZ: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BOG?

I know you can HEA ME but youre so MSART that youd ont ANSWER me because that d GIVE IT AWAY but GUESS WHAT I can answer that question TOO. The FACT IS that youre strying to INFLUENCE ME & INFLUENCE MY DEAR LOYL DEVOTED DEDECETED READERS & INFLUENCE THE TRUTH

Well GUESS WHAT? THE TRUTH WONT GO WA Y SO EASY. You;ll have to get throug ME IRST.

The GOVERNMENT OF QUSMO is trying to FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOPPITY FLOP like a FISH on the COMMONN RUSHMUSH COMMONNITTY but there strategy is a clear obvious & wholly corrupt CASE OF CHICANERY to WIN VOTES from RACISTS & XENOPHOBES whilst cloaking themselves in the QUSMA FLAG & couching their rhetoric in the needs to FIGHT HATE & PROTECT QUSMI’Y to create the appearance as though anyone who opposes them politically HATES QUSMO or that they LOVE ANTI-QUSMA RACISM when in fact it is the GOVERNMENT ITSELF which is peddling the VERY SAME FORMS OF BIGOTRY & OPPRESSION that they deign to be PROTECTING OUR NATION FROM.

Well GUESS WAT? I WONT HVE IT>

but even MORE IMPORTSNTLY guess WHAT ELSE I wont have? Being talked down to by DWEEBS in MIJIJIJI.

YOU SEE i have had a LONG history with MATAJATLA almost from the VERY MOMENT i started PUBLISHING this blog. In resonse to my EXCELLENT ANALCYST abut the DREDDED CURSE OF WEARING WHITE KITS soe BOZOS from STACATTO started TALKING DOWN TO ME & saying I was “anemyous” when in FACT they were just trying to use FANCY WORDS to hide the TRUTH. The whole ATION of MAGICTATTIES has out to get ME & out to get the TRUTH & out to get QUSMO ever since. & theyre STILL AT IT.

theyve never STOPPED being weirdos of course. After more than TWO THIRDS of World Cup 82 Qualifying had happened they predicted SALT STEEDS would qualify but if that DIDNT happen their OWN nation would be one of the “BEST-PACED TEMS TO MOUNT A COMEBACK” while QUSMO wasnt even MENTIONED in the top SIX. Well GUESS WHAT? The WHOLE REASON the steeds are salty i the FARST PLACE is because WE qualified NOT SALTY HORSE BOIS & guess what happen to MULANTUTU? THEY DIDNT EVEN FINISH IN THE FOP FIVE.

Well it TURNS OUT tht STACATTO isn the ONLY football predicting people who are bad at being football predicting people in Majjitaka. theres these people from MOFO SPORTS (which sounds to me like a stupid name but then again thats what they are so i guess I shouldnt be suprised) who apparently have reallly bad memories. Well GUESS WHAT? I DONT. Probably because I havent ALLOWED ME SELF to get POISONED b the CHEMTRAILS in the AIR & he FLUORIDE in the WATER.

So WHAT id they do now? WEll I’ll TELL YOU WHAT. The MOFOS just said tha the only reason MAJIZEBRA can never actually QUALIFY for a WORLD CUP is because they were in an “UDDER GROUP OF DEAH” to ge to World Cup 82. but EUSS WHAT? before they CRASHED & BURNED they said that it would be an EASY GROUP./ Its just like they said in the VERY SAME ATICLE about how Qusmo would be EASY to defend agaist. I guess thats why Qusmo score FOUR TIMES against Mattijana & how Qusmo ELIMINATED THEM with TWO MATCHDAYS LEFT TO SPARE by BEATING THEM. Hmm. HEY MOFOS: MAYBE STOP MAYKING EXCUSES & WTART REALIZING YOU SUCK NEARLY AS MUCH AS QUSMO DOES WHEN THEY WEAR WHITE OR AS QUSMOS GOVERNMENT DOES WHEN ITS OWN CALCULATED RHETORIC ENDANGERS & TERRORIZES PEOPLE WITHIN ITS VERY OWN NATION IN ORDER TO EARN CHEAP POLITICAL POINTS IN A MANIFESTLY DESPERATE PATENTLY ABSURD & SHOCKINGLY SORDID ATTEMPT TO RETAIN ITS GRIP ON POWER.

then again Majijojans are idiots so I cant really expect that from them

---

“What the fuck? Wait, no, don’t answer that, shut up, I don’t care, just what in Margaret’s name is this?”

“My Q-”

“No! No! Just shut the fuck up! How fucking stupid do you have to fucking be? Margaret! What in the fucking everloving fuck!” Qusmi Bez was not happy.

[Hapilopper]

Ernie Stevenson’s apartment, a few blocks from Capital Stadium
The day after the Brenecia match
Fortunately, the next match day for the Hapilopper National Football Team would be an off day. Ernie Stevenson was not in the best of moods, as he felt he had blown a great opportunity to stun the world. It seemed as if the entire multiverse had tuned in to the Hapilopper-Brenecia match, to see the very brash Hapiloppians take on one of the top teams in all of international football, and the fact of the matter was, Brenecia was the better team on that night. There were no shenanigans. There were no questionable calls. Brenecia outplayed Hapilopper fair and square, and Ernie Stevenson had been exposed.

You see, as great of a player as Ernie was, he couldn’t be all that great when defenders took him seriously, and they did the previous night in Capital Stadium. Gethin Quill, Keane Mathers and Garrett Horgan had Ernie’s number on that cool evening in Hapilopper City, and it might have spelled the difference between a beautiful victory for the HNFT and a well-deserved win for Brenecia. Ernie had done all he could have done, and he couldn’t get past those defenders.

What had bothered Ernie, however, was that after all of the qualifying, this close to the end, Hapilopper had lost the lead in the group. They had lost the position that would have automatically qualified them for the 83rd World Cup. Worse, he felt he was wholly responsible. It wasn’t any of his teammates, and it wasn’t head coach Thom Perkins. Ernie felt he, and he alone, was responsible for the collapse of the team over the last few matches, and he was responsible for the defeat to Brenecia.

The fact was, though, was that Brenecia had been the better team on this night. They had studied Ernie Stevenson, and they had exploited a few flaws they had seen in the previous match. A football team doesn’t get to be 9th in the world by being a bunch of dummies, and Brenecia was a smart group of footballers. Ernie, on the other hand, needed to evolve into a different footballer if he was going to do something special.

He sat at his couch, watching an old movie by himself, when all of a sudden, he was startled by a very loud knock on the door. It was his brother Drake, and teammates Bobby East and John Cornett, who stopped by to check on Ernie.

“You took the loss last night pretty badly,” John said to his teammate. “We just stopped by to see if you were OK.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ernie said, still quite dejected.

“Look, dude, we’ve still got one more match to go,” Cornett said. “We’re not going to be able to do jack shit with you in this kind of mood, man. Come on and join us.”

The four visited a nearby bar, where to Ernie’s surprise, he discovered that he wasn’t being shunned by others like he thought he would be. In fact, to a man, the general reaction to Ernie’s appearance, as well as the other three, was that of encouragement. Hapilopper was not a country that turned on its heroes quite often, and they realized that Ernie and his innate ability for scoring goal after goal was the reason Hapilopper had even been in contention in the first place.

“Shit, dude, we still believe in you,” one person said to Ernie.

The four sat down at the bar, and Drake motioned the bartender over. It was obvious he realized his little brother was still feeling horrible about the night before, and he wanted to do what he could to improve his mood.

“Hey, what drink would you recommend for someone who feels like he let his whole country down?” Drake quietly asked the bartender, as Bobby and John kept Ernie distracted with the story of John threatening a drive-thru worker at a Fat Chuck’s in Hydeville two years ago.

The bartender came by with a special drink, and Drake gave the bartender a nod, indicating to him that he would be picking up the tab for the evening. Ernie grabbed the drink and chugged it down. The problem was, however, was that was actually a pretty strong drink, all things considered. Another one of those drinks was ordered.
Then another, and another, and another. After four drinks, Drake and John looked at each other as Ernie could barely hold himself up.

“The fuck’s in that drink you ordered?” John asked Drake.

“Uh, let me find out,” Drake said.

Turns out all kinds of things were in that drink, including vodka, bourbon, beer, gin, rum among other things. The four spent most of the evening in that bar, drinking like their lives depended on it, telling stories to each other, and to other bar patrons. It wound up being a very fun evening for everyone that evening, but the next morning, everyone sure felt it.

Ernie woke up the next morning and stepped into his living room to see his big brother passed out on the couch, and John and Bobby passed out, for some reason, in the kitchen. He didn’t remember much about the night before, but he did know that he felt better. He was ready to go back to training and whip some ass. He was ready to right a wrong, and help Hapilopper force its way into the World Cup.

They had been beaten, but they were not out. There was the 2nd-place playoffs, and they could make the World Cup through those playoffs. If not, of course, Hapilopper would go down fighting.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Members of the House of Assembly in Baker Park have long been characterized as the best paid part time workers in the Commonwealth, which is a notion that goes back at least 100 years, when most Assemblymen maintained their regular jobs in addition to serving in the House.
Today, they work longer and more frequently than the old stereotype implies, as committee work--and for cabinet ministers, departmental work--fills those periods in between sittings.
By law, the Assembly cannot have a sitting that lasts more than 61 days--and no more than 42 consecutively--and there must be a minimum of 28 days between sittings; this generally works out to 1/3 of every calendar quarter with no floor business legislative sessions, but work continues for most members and their staff.

Prime Minister Rebecca Schoenlein allows herself just 15 days of an actual vacation per year, and most of that takes place in the summer. As a mother of three, she has always tried to keep her family life as normal as possible while being the Chief Executive of a government of 51 million citizens.

On this day, she's beaming in via video conference from her family's vacation home in southeastern Endover, to a meeting in the secure conference room adjacent to her office in Belle Haven. Tom Dixon, Minister of Foreign Affairs; Hannah Delaney, Secretary of State for the Commonwealth; and a familiar, but unexpected face greeted her.

"Good morning, Hello Swede, what are you doing hanging out with that crew?"
Bob Johanssen, the Baker Park Ambassador to Banija, happened to be in the country for a seven day visit with his wife, to see family.

"Nothing good. I'm sure you know that already."
"Is this a coup? Are you taking over, the three of you? I've never been part of a coup." She laughed.

Both Delaney and Dixon were as equally amused and brought to laughter by this introductory small talk. "Yes Bec, I was bored, got a bit too much wine in me last night and asked Tom if he wanted my job if we decided we would play musical ministerial chairs. I'm thinking you'd be a good fit at H&A (Ministry of Health & Agriculture)." Delaney tried to be matter of fact, but the absurdity of this conversation got to her.

"No way, I want to be the Postmaster General, or the Lord Advocate." [both positions were generally filled by Councillors of State]

Dixon got everyone back on track. "No, but the real purpose is we received a note from Isebantu Mutungi discussing an impending development in regards to Matthias Mutebi. Apparently, the government are going to put some sort of show trial on. Swede could tell you a bit more about the details."

Johanssen screwed an expression onto his face that made clear his personal feeling to the facts on the ground.
"This is a bit like having a bit of plastic surgery to cover up a noticeable scar. The Katikkiro is a good man, but I think what he sees here is an opportunity to respond proactively to matters happening in far away places. He sees what's gone down in South Covello, what's going on in the Free Republics, and he wants to make clear that Banija is a solid, representative democracy that won't tolerate extremist outliers. Mutebi is so far removed from the mainstream of today's political mood in the country, he looks like an anachronism. By law he is permitted to ask for a reduction to his sentence or for parole, which would be routinely denied without much effort put into consideration. But the government want to re-open the whole criminal enterprise with the hope that they can exert a far more punitive solution."

The Foreign Minister actually jumped in for the first question. "What's the political angle? It seems to me to be taking the lose-lose option deliberately."

"I have a theory Tom, that the government wants this to go the distance, and then at the end, the Guardian Council, who are the final arbiters of application of the death penalty, will commute the sentence to life imprisonment. The Iron Fist, Velvet Glove thing."

Finally, the Prime Minister was able to interject her thoughts. "Swede, how much time do you think Mwanga would need to prepare for a 4 day State Visit to Baker Park? How much time would we need to make the arrangements for that, Hannah? Can we get him here to make an address to a joint session on the first Friday of the next sitting? And of course, we would would be honored to have as many of the Kabaka's family as he might choose to accompany him as our guests as well. Could the Intercontinental handle that many room requests?" She raised he eyebrows towards the screen where she knew the three of them could see.
"I'll be down day after tomorrow, we'll talk more then, unless you are due back to Banjia, Swede. Then we will talk to you from there. OK, I'm off."

With that, the screen went blank in Belle Haven and the three looked at one another with surprised faces.

[Turori]

Hualtia Records Another Clean Sheet

Nineteen year old Inland Peaks FC Goalkeeper Timaala Hualtia is looking to give Turori National Team head coach Kliallal Tuirma something to think about should the Turori Eels advance to the World Cup Finals as they have now posted a clean sheet in two consecutive World Cup Qualifying matches and could be making a move to take over the Turori National Team's #1 Goalkeeper position for Wiyauw An'maude, the Cedniavella Turori goalkeeper who has ten seasons more experience than Hualtia.

It was the start of the second half of the qualifying campaign for the Turori National Team which meant their second match against Hyundai-Kia. The Eels had a stunning start to their World Cup 83 Qualification campaign with a 6-0 opening matchday victory over Hyundai-Kia at Eels Park in Eelandii and now they travelled into the unknown lands of automotive dealers and dancing rodents to see if they could equal or better their performance from earlier in the campaign.

By the time the thirteen minute mark had already come and gone however Tuirma's Eels were already behind the eight ball for their six goal target. Turori would finally get on the board in the 36th minute through Wiztsana Iretziia and take a 1-0 lead into the half time interval but the pace was nothing like what they had going for them in the first ever meeting between the two sides earlier in the campaign.

Timaala Hualtia would actually leave the game at the half having picked up a knock in the first half and Tuirma and the coaching staff thought it best to rest the youngster considering their performances of late had increased the chance that Hualtia would be needed should Turori advance to the World Cup Finals. The change meant that 40 year old Gisterfred Q. Disterfred II would make at least one more appearance for the Eels as the long time Colonial Sile netminder had travelled with the team so that Wiyauw An'maude could get a break from the campaign in a match they weren't scheduled to start.

Disterfred did their part to preserve the shutout while the Turori National Team would get a second goal once again coming off the foot of Wiztsana Iretziia to finally put the game out of reach in the 69th minute. The Eels would hold firm for the remainder of hte match as Hyuandai-Kia would never even get another shot on goal the rest of the way and the Turori National Team cruised to a relatively comfortable 2-0 victory. While they were unable to repeat their success from earlier in the campaign the 2-0 victory was very welcome for head coach Klaillal Tuirma who knew that if the Turori National Team could simply win out in the second half of the qualifications there would be no way they could miss out on the World Cup 83 Finals. At this point Tuirma wasn't concerned about the scoreline as much as they were in collecting points. The Eels just needed to continue winning matches and they would have the chance to contend for the World Cup 83 Trophy in Equestria and Banija.

Turori [2] - [0] Hyundai-Kia

:: Turori Goalscorers :: :: 36' Wiztsana Iretziia :: 69' Wiztsana Iretziia

:: Turori Statistics :: :: Possession: 55% :: Shots on Target: 8 :: Corner Kicks: 5

:: Hyundai-Kia Statistics :: :: Possession: 45% :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 5

---

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Hyundai-Kia ::
[GK]Timaala Hualtia, [D.]Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D.]Mikki Mayelli, [D.]Moumouni Verre'elali, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [ML] Indelli Nura'amura, [MC]Mbdiai Akarenaa, [MC] Kentu Umaka'a, [MR] Saito Koshiki, [FC]Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC]Wiztsana Iretziia
BENCH::
[FC]Mirana Gotuai, [FC]Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [M]Daliora Toru'u, [M]Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ]Yitizo Mpala'a, [D]Tarek Edgeli, [GK]G.Q Disterfred II

---

[Nephara]

Nephara 6 - 2 Geisenfried
(4-4-2) 12 - Mercator; 18 - Sanger, 5 - Thorn, 6 - Steelhenge, 3 - Close (vc); 13 - Saroszi, 4 - Shone, 21 - Moxham (8 - Klein 76'), 11 - Strongbow; 9 - Hawke (c, 17 - Bastable 56), 10 - Metzger
Goals: Hawke 7', Metzger 27' 31', Bastable 73', Klein 85', Strongbow 89'

THE HERALD
DANIELLA STRAUSS, THE BIG WINNER OF QUALIFYING
Erik Waldemar

It's important to remember that Nephara haven't qualified yet. The Cormorants have been sunk by arrogance in the past; it's approaching a national tradition at this stage. And more heralded Cormorants sides have cruised through to fail before. See, for example, the entire past decade.

That said...

The Cormorants have been smashing their way to qualification with scorelines reminiscent of a Glory Days of Serenes tape. Strauss' refusal to do anything but pile the hurt on her enemies has lead to a ludicrous 46 goals in ten games, and just two clean sheets for the beleagured Hesterine Mercator. It's been wild. It's been fun.

And it's hard not to see the parallels with the 'yolo' cycle of 74 which, notably, ended with Elaine Ashdown lifting the World Cup. At least, stylistically - both sides scored and conceded buckets of goals. But that qualification cycle twenty years ago was a near-calamity that relied on the playoffs to see Nephara through. Obviously, not so this time.

It's been a strange qualification for many reasons. For one, the claustrophobic nature of the layout; twelve matches to decide one automatic qualifier, second place having a one-in-three shot at the big time. Longer qualification cycles have played more to Nepharim strength in depth, allowing Brandon and Brosque in particular to rest swathes of their squads, but here every match has mattered.

But that hasn't seemed to bother Daniella Strauss, who was always open about her intentions to tighten up the core squad and really ensure that every spot was earned. She's been marked by a far more conservative approach to rotation, generally only swapping out a part or two at a time, and seeming to have pretty much the same idea of her personnel and tactics throughout.

It's encouraging, because it's hard to see things changing come Cup time. Strauss may be a fairly inexperienced manager, but she's always stuck to her principles under pressure, be it steering a terrible Maulers side to promotion and survival in the domestic league, or refusing to panic at 2-0 down at home to Ethane.

So it should be that same team, more or less, that went on to dumpster them 9-3 and end Jeremiah Shepard's international career that lines up for the main event. And if Ethane - 8th in the world last cycle, mind - were swept away by what resembles, at times, a front five barely held in check by the war criminal Tawny Shone. This side will accept conceding two in the confidence of scoring three. It's going to be a thrill, and if it doesn't pay off in the end... well, it'll be more fun along the way than anything in recent memory.

And isn't that part of the game, too?

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 7
Goalkeepers: 1 - Leila Ramelow (Vermillion Rage), 12 - Hesterine Mercator (Eastweald, COS), 20 - Apostolos Tsattalios (Falourr, EUR)
Defenders: 2 - Eloise Kielseng (Kingsgrove, BRE), 3 - Sander Katarec (Vermillion Rage), 5 - Roxelana Thorn (Revolutionaries, EUR), 6 - Alcander Visser (Starling), 18 - Anita Sanger (Rammsissil, VIL), 19 - Nike Rouphos (Chenoworth Harriers), 22 - Ilyana Brosch (AFC Corvistone)
Midfielders: 4 - Tawny Shone (Sabrefell Moths), 7 - Ishtar Fanaiyan (Eastweald, COS), 8 - Rusalka Klein (Crawford City FC, COS), 11 - Rowena Strongbow (Directus, EUR), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 15 - Circe Rosenthal (Directus, EUR), 16 - Morena Deventer (Brinemouth), 21 - Malachi Chalk (Falourr, EUR)
Forwards: 9 - Erika Wolff (North Sabrefell), 10 - Aristide Metzger (AFC Treason), 14 - Arista Tzorvas (Olympic Thessia, MYT), 17 - Kurtis Bastable (Hornchurch, EUR), 23 - Cheney Breremond (Vermillion Rage)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 5 - 3 Orion Islands @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Ethane 1 - 3 Nephara
[Bye] (Friendly: Ceyne Isles 1 - 3 Nephara)
Nephara 6 - 0 No @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Geisenfried 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Kandonica @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Geektopia 3 - 6 Nephara
Orion Islands 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 9 - 3 Ethane @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
[Bye]
No 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 6 - 2 Geisenfried @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Kandonica vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Geektopia @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)

[Qasden]

A Trilogy of Unwanted Tales: None of which are actually Tales

---

By Seville L.

Hype enough headline for ya? Yeah, that's the only good part of this whole thing. But you know what? That's cool, that's fine, there's still some reports to tell about Qasden's adventures from the past and future. Let's begin with the most on-topic of the three:

Clawing United: A Game on Fyre

Failed punny title? Check. To put those 6 words to meaning, we need to look at the 11 day of competition in the WC83 Qualifiers. Coming off a sudden surge in goals (scoring more in the past 2 games than the rest of the qualifiers combined), the Vans' momentum was high, but so were the risks ahead of them. The Kernovian squad, who was in 3rd at the time of this match, desperately needed the win to still compete with Qasden and Recuecn for the Group U Title: a coveted position none of the 3 have won before that'd bring automatic qualification and bragging rights with it's acquisition. For the Qads, who had a 2-point lead over the Unicorns for the spot, a victory in Fyre's Stade de Solis could keep them in charge for another match day (given that Recuecn was on break for MD11). The necessary hype was built, the tickets were sold, and after 90 minutes of play, the results were in...

---

Qad Goals
20' Bostun
24' Foster
43' Foster (2)
51' Xandreas
67' Bostun (2)
78' Milkface

---

*Due to media purposes, only goals from Qasden are shown.

Heck yeah, baby!

Despite an awkward defense, the Vans were able to up their offensive game in order to win the absolute goalfest, a valiant performance by both our Qads and "The United Team" of Kernovi & Rewgwlas. The respectable W gave Qasden the amount of points equivalent to the number of triangles found inside said W, propelling to a short term breathing lead. Match day 12 was an off day for the Vans, however, which brought these standings after their conclusion:

A little confusing, but a great excuse for our graphic designers to finally do something outside number changing! Following the Qad victory, Kernovi's team continued to struggle, narrowly dropping to a passionate Santa Regadan squad. Meanwhile, Recuecn made a quick escape from the fierce Starcom Racing, keeping them as the only team left in contention to dethrone Qasden.

You heard me right, ladies and lads. The Vans have officially been guaranteed a spot in the next part of the tournament, be it the proper or the playoffs. This, of course, leaves Santa Regada and Kernovi in awkward positions when trying to dismantle Recuecn. You see, if the Unicorns so much as draws against Caras and/or Kernovi, that will eliminate the two teams, seeing as the Eagles only have 1 game left while The United need all 6 points for the chance of combat. This can be beneficial to the Qads for Recuecn to falter against either opponent as well, since the ability to extend the lead beyond 3 points after Match day 13 would be imminent qualification to the proper without going through an increasingly terrifying playoff format. Seriously, have you SEEN who're in those positions right now?!

But, to better the chances of avoiding that terrible situation, the Blue-Reds may as well be helping the purple-red-yellow-whatchamacallits by facing and defeating Santa Regada. As the Eagles' final match of the qualifiers, a Qad victory would mean their demise; joining Valladares, Starcom, and Caras in the "eliminated lounge". This celebration for Recuecn could be dire as well, however, should Caras gain an upper hand in their respective match. For now, we'll just have to wait and watch. And for your eyes, since I have reported the past, I will now show you an opinion for the present. So, without further adieu...

---

---

This could very well seem like a joke, but I think it's time that Qasden's legendary Brick Wall got recognized on a grander multiversal scale.

So why Macron Abbott? How come he hasn't aged past 27 despite having been in literally every Qad attempt? Well, my friends, there's a lot about him that makes him so epic, at least epic enough to be the only Qad to make the WC83 Ultimate Squad.

A small list of reasons on why the Brickwall should be considered:

- Macron (The Brick Wall) Abbott has been a part of the Qad National Team since WC76, primarily serving as the starting Goalkeeper in several important matches.
- Has held several teams nearly, if not entirely scoreless throughout Qasden's qualifying run during WC83.
- A prime MVP candidate during the Vans' B2B Cup of Harmony title runs.
- Played alongside other legendaries at Raynor City United, even winning the UICA Champions' Title at one point.
- Is just a pretty cool guy all around.

I honestly had higher hopes when trying to write this part of the trilogy, but when your boss is nagging on you to get things up as soon as possible, what can you do really? We will, however, keep track of Abbott's progress in future matches, and duly hope that any WC83 officials reading consider him as a keeper for the team of the tournament! Now, for the final subpar tale:

FBF Derby 3: The Increasingly Freezing Feud

The Fan's Best Friend Derby is back, son! The passive rivalry between the Qasden's Vans and Crystalline Caverns's Frostac Wolves commenced a mere 2 cycles ago at the Tempest Nook in Mraz (though no one's been able to find the results of the encounter). Since that fateful day, the two blue sides decided to bring the forgotten debacle back for a 2nd time, with the Qads taking it in T.V. City, 4-1. Now, the competition returns under the ice in the chilly city of Vosperse. Seriously, that place is cold af.

For Qads, the show is seen more or less as a fun discount rivalry when compared to the more detailed Moden Derby with Qusmo, but for those in the Caverns, the FBF Derby has been a chance to reveal themselves as a great up and coming force in the footballing multiverse, with a win in their name allegedly signifying good luck in future competitions. The match itself will be contested during the interval between the World Cup Qualifying and Proper tournaments, a beneficial time for both teams given their qualifying situations.

That looks like all I'm able to milk out for now. Can the Vans defeat Santa Regada for the chance to take the throne? Could the Brick Wall be more than just some guy who blocks really well? Will Caverns every be able to win a derby? Very little of this and more will be revealed, so you better stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for the future QADANS reports to come. Good night, everybody!

[Juvencus]

Juvencus 3-2 Xanneria

SILVESTRI ENDGAME HATTRICK KEEPS JUVENCUS TO THE RACE FOR THE WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi
CB:Izotz Ibarra
CDM:Nino Russo
CDM:Clovis Bret
RM:Ekain Zuñiga(Assist 88')
LM:Tore Christian
LF:Joaquim Martell(Assist 79')
RF:Patxi Etxeberria
CF:Santo Silvestri(Goals, 72', 79', 88')

Xanneria XI:
GK:Varg Miller
CB:Mo Goddard(Yellow card, 72')
CB:James Fillmore
CB:Nick Borelli(Yellow card 66')
CM:Lane Stegall(Assists, 27', 52')
CM:Ricky Bryan
CF:Glenn Hailey(Goal, 27')
CF:Richard Presentino
CF:Pete Saigon(Goal, 52')
CF:Devon'elle Leymore

A blistering 39 degrees celsius heat wouldn't stop either team from going all in last matchup. With both teams delivering an extremely aggressive display and oddly showing that bother offensively and defensively, they pull through and they can do just enough. A Santo Silvestri heroic is keeping the team standing in the race towards another qualification for the world cup. With only 2 matchdays ahead, it may need to step it up.

The first half saw a very disappointing gli attaccanti, with the team actually giving the Xannerian squad a lot of space to pressure the Juven side which proved to be a massive mistake early on, when a Presentino rocket hit the crossbar. The pressure didn't stop there and with a Hailey volley going to waste in the 17th minute, the Xannerian managed to quickly redeem himself, after a Lane Stegall through-ball managed to find Hailey one-on-one with Bulgari, with the latter unable to catch Hailey's lob shot. The Xannerian squad didn't stop there and almost managed to get a 2-goal lead but Leymore's shot was saved by Bulgari's cat-like reflexes. The Juven side quickly managed to stand on its feet, and after Martell managed to get through several Xannerian players, was really close to equalising but his shot was too weak. Thus the first half ended with a 0-1 Xannerian lead.

The gli attaccanti started the second half just as disappointing, doing the same exact mistake of giving the Xannerians enough space to do their own overaggressive work, overpowering the Juven one. Soon enough, Stegall managed to find another hole through the Juven defense and crossed it to Saigon with the latter scoring an exceptional header, now increasing the lead by 2 goals. However, this is where the Xannerian dominance ceased. Slowly but surely, the gli attaccanti managed to take matters to its own hands. Firstly, by playing really possessively, managing to tire the Xannerian team. After that was done, it was time to wreak havoc. Etxeberria was tackled by Goddard right outside the box in the 72nd minute, resulting in Goddard receiving a yellow card. The free-kick was capitalised by Silvestri, scoring his first one of the game and took matters in his own hands from then on. Soon enough, he'd score a 2nd one from a volley after a Martell cross. Lastly, to turn over the tables, he'd score a bicycle kick to keep the team going. Barely saving the team from possible elimination. However within the next two matchdays against Paratan and Koyoland, the team will have to avoid a fluke in order to qualify for the world cup's 83rd edition.

[Zwangzug]

"So anyway," Misako concluded, "I'd just been kind of doing research on my own time, you know, but then CYBORG took over. And I figured I was going to get reassigned somewhere else for actually useful employment, you know, because who the bleep cares about human irrationality? But no, they actually wanted me to keep doing that and looking into the whole pie chart business. I think it's probably because they're trying to make more efficient transit lines and if random secret forest entrances keep popping up and disappearing on and off that would really screw with them, but it's kind of hard to explain that they're...you know...not the kinds of places you'd want to go by train anyway, so, yeah. Beats coaching some university side."

"Cool," said Micah.

She'd tagged along to Barunia to give what amounted to a pep talk, even if it was really more of a "where are they now" summary. The team looked, as usual, like it didn't really need pep; not because they were energized and enthusiastic, but because they were quiet, self-motivated in their own minds. Subroto had quickly found the darkest corner of the visiting clubhouse to rest in, Randall looked ready to clobber any visiting fans who were singing "The People's Net" out of tune, and Corianne was on her phone, browsing various game previews from the Zwangzug press.

"So like, have you seen any dead bodies?" Kurt asked.

"What? No," Misako said. "People like me don't go into these places, if they even exist, we just--try to determine if they exist. Unless you mean, like, in life, sure, I was at my grandparents' funerals and stuff, but I'm not really sure what that has to do with anything."

"Thanks for coming by," Micah said. "Any tips for playing against Barunia?"

"Same as everyone else, right?" Misako shrugged. "Score, don't concede, the relative importance of those two is weighted by which points system you're using."

"That's the spirit," said Sydney.

Jonah gave the visitors the lead after a quarter-hour, slowly weaving forward after a long pass from Martin. The Suns would tie it shortly before halftime on a Neil Coddington header. Despite John Taylor's frailties, Deborah Elliott was able to shut down a few speculative efforts in the second half, and the game remained tied.

Everyone marvelled at the sun motifs in the stadium, except for Subroto. "If the robots could just like...get a remote and...turn it off," he muttered, "that would be nice."

"We really need to get you some nice sunglasses," said Chevanthi.

[The Macabees]

THE WITCH EMELIE, XIII
Previous: I, II. III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII


Leender was looking at the ledger that Doctor Reverie had given them. "Weird," he said, frowning as he looked at the pages. "There're several discrepancies, almost every day. They're small, almost tiny. You almost wouldn't even worry about them, except that when you add up the numbers over, say, a week it adds up to quite a bit." He flipped a few pages back. "And these discrepancies started relatively recently, they're not consistent with past patterns. It could be nothing, in fact that's probably what anybody thinks when they see this, but it's suspicious to say the least."

They were driving back to headquarters. Ineke seemed more relaxed or, otherwise, she didn't have any other option but to twiddle her thumbs and wait. She let the car do all the driving as she and Leender sat in the back seat looking at the evidence they had collected. Looking at him, she said, "I don't think it's a coincidence either."

"We know how the chemicals used to make the compound that poisoned Klasos and Frapto were removed from the medical department," he followed. "But, how did Janis Mariko — an analyst — get access to this ledger and how did she get on to the medical floor and through their security controls?"

"That's the golden question," answered the detective.

Leender, nodding, replied, "I'll guess we'll find out when they bring her in."



...one day later

The train pulled into Helmon Trigaris railway station in the late evening after leaving Beda Fromm. They had sped through countryside and city alike at more than 400 kilometers per hour, making stops in between the two provincial capitals every so often. Once in Targul Frumos, they found a room in the form of a small motel which they arrived at by way of rideshare. In the morning, Dario and Janis planned to take another train to the great border city of Manzanar de Gorezca, which had been conquered and occupied over ten years ago as a result of the War of Golden Succession(1).

Sitting on the Havenic Frontier, which separated the three Havenic territories from the now-politically-shattered lands of Safehaven proper, Manzanar de Gorezca would be the last time they stood on imperial soil. From there, they could pass south into Safehaven, which was known to be dangerous — but, what other choice did they have?

Helmon Trigaris, the central and largest train station in the stunningly massive megalopolis of Targul Frumos, was named after who was perhaps the city's greatest leader. Born in the late 18th century, Trigaris was not only a leading statesman of the late First Empire but also a renown general who did much to maintain the cohesion of a dying polity(2) that he loved and remained loyal to until his very last breath. Ironic, then, that Janis and Dario were using it to leave the empire that Trigaris had spent his life's energy salvaging.

They arrived at the station by way of automated rideshare.

Targul Frumos was a working man's — person's, rather — city. Although manufacturing was a sector in decline, at least as far as it concerned the laborer, it remained strong here. Most of the empire's cars were still fabricated and assembled here, and one could see the great steel mills of last century's age dominating the northwestern suburbs. And along the entirety of the bay, the commercial and military dock- and shipyards remained the megalopolis' shining glory. Workers here still dressed in plain clothes and took their lunches to the job in pales, like the so-called "good 'ol days." The self-driving cars and the invariable creep of the suited man were curious juxtapositions, elements of a new world that were slowly encroaching and overtaking the old. It was a strange transition in history lost on Dario and Janis, who were more preoccupied with their own worries than with the history of one of the greatest urban centers in the empire.

Inside the station, characterized by its great steel beams and enormous central dome which covered most of the complex's interior plaza, the two of them waited in line to buy their tickets to Manzanar de Gorezca. There were thousands of people walking around and the length of the line was a testament to how busy Helmon Trigaris station got, even at this early hour of the day. Dario's stomach rumbled. Turning her head to him, she said, "I'm hungry too, we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Why don't you get us something to eat while I wait here?"

Nodding, he answered, "What you do want?"

She shrugged. "See what they have in the cafeteria. If they have a croissant, I'll take that with a cup of coffee, with creamer please."

"You got it." Dario went off to find the station's café.

He found it only after a long while of searching for it, hidden as it was behind a series of planters overgrown with palm-like plants that made it difficult to see across them. The line, like all lines here, was long but it moved at a reasonable speed. He got Janis a croissant with chocolate filling and a coffee, with creamer, and, for himself, he purchased an egg and cheese sandwich with a coffee, black.

As he collected it all on his tray and turned around to walk back to where he had left her, he saw four men walking briskly through the heavy crowd. They wore the emblems of Penzlon Security. He remembered them from what that detective and investigator were wearing the day they came to his apartment. "Shit," he said, putting down the tray, grabbing the sandwich and croissant, and then hurrying around them to find Janis before they did.

She was just leaving the ticket window when he saw her. Late, though, it was, as the four security officers saw her then too. "Ms. Mariko!" one shouted. "Stop right there!"

"Janis!" yelled Dario over the heads of the unknowing workers trying to make it to their daily commuters. "Over here!"

She ran to him and the four security officers gave chase, one of them speaking into a walkie-talkie all the while. Dario led her into the chaos in an attempt to lose them among the people and after a while, when they were short of breath, it seemed as if they had succeeded. "What now?" he asked.

Janis was breathing hard, sweat rolling down her forehead. "I bought our tickets. We just need to get on that train."

"Do you think they know where we're going?" he asked.

"How would they?" answered Janis.

He shrugged. Dario replied, "They seemed to know when we were in Beda Fromm."

"What then?" she inquired, the twang in her voice a sign of exasperation. "Do we just give up?"

Dario shook his head. "No," he said, "we'll just need to find a way to shake them off." Thinking for a moment, he looked up toward the ceiling. There, he could see a network of cameras slowly shifting from side to side, scanning the platforms below. That's when an idea struck him. "I think I know how," he said. "Come."

She followed him and they soon made their way to an open spot. He looked up and noticed one of the cameras had zeroed-in on them. As he moved, it moved with them and soon enough another camera was on them when they had advanced beyond the first one's reach. He led her toward an exit and they left the station, remaining in the open. Outside, there were empty security vehicles and he was sure there were other agents waiting around to ambush them. It was all he could do to keep his wits about him and not altogether start running away. Eyeing the outskirts, he waited for his moment.

Then, when he felt sufficiently comfortable that they had ventured far enough outside, and when the timing felt right, he grabbed her hand and they quickly dipped into a crowd of people headed back inside. As they headed toward the bay platform their train waited at they saw not a single security officer, and neither were they disturbed as they boarded and, finally, left for the Havenic Frontier.

Through the window, they looked back at the bay as the train left the station.



...back in Beda Fromm

"What the f*** do you mean they got away," shouted Ineke.

Leender peered at her from the side of his eyes. Not even he felt safe calming her down. That woman was like a storm when she was in a rage.

She continued, "How the hell could you mess that operation up? We knew exactly where they were going. You saw the targets. How did you lose them? How could that possibly have happened? It makes no sense to me, so please explain Officer Patrud. Please, do me the favor. Enlighten me."

"Uhhhh..." stammered the officer on the other line of the call. "Station security cameras followed them out of Helmon Trigaris, so we followed. We set up a trap to find them outside, but we never found them. It was only after carefully going through additional footage after the event that we saw them in a large crowd of people returning inside the station. I apologize, detective, we messed that one up. It won't happen again."

"You're right, it won't," she berated. She ended the call there.

Twisting her neck to look at her partner, she gave one upward nod, and said, "Get your things. We're going to Manzanar de Gorezca and detaining these two f***ers ourselves."



NOTES:

1. The War of Golden Succession was fought between 2016–2019, when the imperial crown was passed on to Fedor (the grandson) and not Heinrik (the son) in accordance to the late emperor Jonak's will. Safehaven invaded the Second Empire of the Golden Throne, just 12 years in existence, as a result of the heavy-handed tactics employed by Fedor to suppress the aristocratic revolt led by his father in Weigar (the city was destroyed by a nuclear bomb). Ultimately, the invasion failed, Fedor's armies launched a counteroffensive, and a result much of Safehaven's northern lands were occupied, annexed, and resettled by the empire.

2. The First Empire of the Golden Throne existed between the late 9th century and 1898, which is considered the year of its breakup. The Kríerstat Epok, which translates roughly into 'warring states period,' followed until the empire's complete reunification under Jonak I, King of Macabea, in 2004.