Title: For Want Of A Better Word
Description: The @@CAPITAL@@ Chronicle released what was supposed to be a humorous article discussing how some common words are misleading, including how peanuts are not nuts and how strawberries are not in fact berries at all. Unfortunately, many took the article quite seriously and have opined for change.
Validity: all
Option 1: "A bean, or not a bean," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, self-professed teacher of Oration and Elocution and while dressed in gaudy stage clothes, "that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler for the citizen to suffer the indignity of ignorance or to take back the proper usage of language. Indeed, we must make haste and ensure that no word - nay, nothing at all - is ever spoken incorrectly according to its well-defined meaning."
Effect: misusing a word can be punishable by death
Option 2: "You can lead @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ to water, but you cain't make it drink," philosophizes a rustic janitor who has been listening to the teacher's impassioned plea. "If'n we cain't get folks to speak right, than we'll hafta make the language change instead. Tell all them scientists that peanuts are nuts and strawberries are berries. We cain't be wrong - the language hasta be."
Effect: scientific dogma changes faster than the wind
Option 3: "Both of those proposals are utterly unconscionable!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists, "especially that post-modernist tripe! The answer to this quandary is mandatory scientific for everyone, from birth to death. Six hours a day should be sufficient. No longer shall we languish in lingual ignorance and - perhaps - we can pave the way for future scientific progress instead.
Effect: children quote medical in an attempt to get out of eating brussels sprouts for dinner
