World Cup 64 RP Thread

[Paradystopia]

(ooc: RL is interfering with my RP, so my story's currently on hold. In the meantime, here's something short for the Vegans to considor)

Dear Estrianii Raelea Vega,

Hello,

Do you find that being a football spectator can sometimes be a frustrating pastime?

Do cries of 'Oh Margaret!' reverberate around the stands after an unfortunate loss to lesser opponents?

Well here at the Paradystopi-based CATcorp (Control of Aggressive Tension), we have the answer. The Kitten Booth!

Each small booth contains a television screen with a plush comfy chair and for a miniscule price, your patrons can purge any football-related anger by admiring several snapsnots of adorable little kittens. By answering a short questionnaire, our booths can successfully choose the most appropriate picture for your needs.

... Now just feel that anger melt away.

... Everything's gonna be alhrright

... Blessed are the Meek.

... Tell that aggression to buzz off.

We humbly ask your permission to install several booths throughout the Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai.

Thank you for your time.

Yours in feline appreciation


Charles Nebbit.

[Blouman Empire]

THE EMPIRE TIMES

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT

9/12

First Name: Liam
Surname: Dellape
Squad Number: 7
Position: Midfielder
Club: Braxon City
Town of Birth: Hamintom
Nation: Promdrania
International Appearances: 52
International Goals: 10

Bio:Liam is a young strong midfielder who can take control of the centre of the field and dictate the game to his liking and has been apart of the Blouman squad since their return to international football, despite being listed he failed to play any games since Sir Nathan took control, however, this changed at the start of the current World Cup Qualifiers where he has been selected as a starter as he gained further recognition during the past few seasons for his club Braxon City. Liam rose through the ranks in the Wagin youth team which he joined at the age of 8 he made his debut for the club at the age of 18 totaling 21 appearances and won the clubs 'Young Player of the Year' award. He was at the point selected for the Promdranian U21 team where he donned the Captain's armband during three friendly games and scoring a goal. Liam was signed up during the winter transfer windowby Braxon City and he departed Wagin with a total of 35 appearances and 15 goals. His past four years with Braxon City has seen the midfielder go from strength to strength showing off his technical abilities as he maintains possession for his team in the middle of the field and being an early playmaker giving those in front of him easy chances to score goals such as the sublime assist for Henry Jelson in the Barsen Cup final giving his team the win and the trophy. His popularity with the fans have soared since then being voted as Best Player of the Year last season by the club members on an online vote. Liam continues to bring his team success and keep them as not only a top club within the Braxon but also a top club within the Empire.

Off the field Liam is also well known for his environmental charity work and is heavily involved in the Prevention of Endangered Species Organisation when he campaigns and raises money to aid in the recovery of the Empire's national animal the Yellow Headed Eagle it is also reported that he donates a quarter of his salary to the organisation to assist their efforts. It is currently reported that Liam is romantically involved with local TV star Madison Helmut though these rumors have not been confirmed or denied by the pair.

[Zwangzug]

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Bullish optimism?

It was, if not a match to grab points from, a surprisingly hard-fought loss for Zwangzug against world champions Audioslavia. Matías Garrastazu (and hooray for diacritics that don't throw us for a loop) put his Bulls squad on top with a goal just about half an hour in, and would assist Audioslavia's forward following that. So far, so bad for Zwangzug, who also would allow two to pass by as hosts last half. But in half two...not a lot! Our improving stamina did not allow Audioslavia to obtain a third goal, which was cool.

Zwangzug is still sixth, but group two saw things switch around with Kinitaria going top, with Audioslavia chasing. Saintland climb up to fourth. Zwangzug now play Spagbogia, in last.

Our coach would talk with us about this match, though our staff would, as almost always, modify diction. You know our drill.

Q: "How is it visiting Audioslavia?"
A: "You know our gang didn't go to that country, but a tiny island off its coast. So it was not all full of waving flags and stuff about winning. That said, it was an honor, obviously. Or not. It's all luck of a draw who you play..."

Q: "Okay put it this way, was it good to play Audioslavia? Or did you want a top squad that was not as good?"
A: "I was actually happy with this. So many groups around, you might find opposition that has its nation's own gripping angst, political, cultural, you say it. So to find a location that will honor our trying, such as it is, is good. You can look up and down its list and go "John Ryan, what a skillful man, Kajaxo Imaslavii of Vilita's clubs, Ruy Garcia, uh, what's a Ruy, I think I'm missing a bit of humor but you know." And so it's not so disappointing to go down, by four possibly. Two is not so bad, particularly playing away.

Q: "So your stadium training program is paying off, as far as guys not having to sub in?"
A: "Look it's not my anything. I did pick it up from our old squad, okay. But it's not my notion."

Q: "So you think you might play a match or two in normal lowlands? How about a stadium in a city a club might play in?"
A: "I did not say that. I would first talk it out with our football association. But, you know, that unofficial FTC match back a long span ago...it is a major possibility, is what I'm saying."

Q: "Okay, cool. Uh, congratulations on...okay you didn't win...what do I say, I'm sorry you lost?"
A: "Nah, this wasn't so bad."

Q (not actually, but you know): "That's an optimistic spirit. Okay, good luck against Spagbogia."
A: "Thanks."

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

Western Cuba 1–0 The Inevitable Syndicate
Western Cuba: Moreno 84'
The Syndicate are just struggling to keep their spot in Group 9, as a loss to Western Cuba has prevented them once again from gaining vital points. Both sides managed to hold a nice stalemate all the way through the first half, with shots from both sides just not managing to connect in the way they should. Birch got rather tetchy, and mouthed off to a referee when he scored what he thought was a perfectly good goal. As it turns out, he was quite obviously offside. This rude language got him a yellow card, and after that he did seem to be quieter. Archer was also really on the ball, taking shots from corners and from crosses with ease. It fell apart in the 84th minute, though, as Moreno made a daring play up the pitch which ultimately paid off in the form of a goal. With little time left to react, the Syndicate tried to muster up a counter-attack, but just couldn't push the ball down the field at the end of the day.

Chapter i. Negotiations
Chapter ii. Raiders of a Lost Art
Chapter iii. Some Assembly Required
Chapter iv. The Syndicatian Intelligence Agency
Chapter v. Hidden in Plane Sight
Chapter vi. Cramming & Planning
Chapter vii. Pharaohs and Prophecies
Chapter viii. From Fligsive With Love
Chapter ix. Casino Generale
Chapter x. Split Up and Look For Clues

Chapter xi. The Temple of Raresh
Chapter xii. That’s No Room...

An Inconceivable Truth
A Story of Syndicatian Climate Change

---

Chapter xiii. Diplomacy is the Best Policy

Andrew and Stephen arrived in Hashbi, the capital of Ahlefi. Stephen could really see why the countries motto was “The Central Jewel” - the whole place was very modern, and the landscape dotted with skyscrapers. It really seemed like a hip place to be. The two were dropped off in the Syndicatian Embassy, and greeted by Monty Manteu, the Syndicatian Ambassador to Ahlenfi.

“Ah, Mr. Manteu!” the Administrator said. “Hello!”

“Hello, Administrator Browne - I’m not going to lie to you here. Relations with Ahlenfi have been... Tense, in the last few months. There was a shootout here the other day - as you can see, we’ve not had time to repair.”

The room that they were stood in was in fact ridden with bullet holes. It didn’t look too great. The cream walls had blobs of grey in, and the sofa that Jones was sat on had fluff coming out of it at awkward angles.

“Isn’t it your job to prevent that sort of thing?” Jones said, with a sigh. “You’re the diplomat! We need to show these guys that we’re a nice country.” His voice was then reduced to a whisper. “Even if we are stealing an ancient magical artefact right from under their noses...”

Browne piped up. “We could just, you know... Invade. We’ve got the army! And we could get Ibex to help us out. I hear their clothing artillery is hugely destructive!”

The Emir, Urdan Molothai, suddenly stepped into the room. “Greetings my friends!”

His beard was something to marvel at - it completely eclipsed the bottom half of his tanned face, it’s silvery hair running in all directions. His shiny eyes immediately stared at Andrews, with his bushy eyebrows forming a furl.
“Hello there Emir Molothai! It’s a pleasure to see you again!” Andrew said, managing his best smile.

“Ah, you don’t bring your wife this time? She’s a foxy lady, isn’t she!” The Emir laughed. Jones saw Andrew begin to break a sweat.

“Erm, no, not this time - this visit is strictly business. So, where are we eating dinner?”

One of the Emir’s guards patted the Administrator on the back. “This way, sir.”

As the men entered the dining hall, you could really tell that the Emir had gone all out on providing a nice dinner. The room was lavishly decorated, with some rather striking pictures of the Emir naked on a camel. Jones tried not to look at them while sitting down. He thought that Norell would probably have a field day if he were here. Explains why he comes here so often. Andrew thought that maybe the Emir had assumed that Ms. Browne was coming for dinner too. Either way, they all sat down and had an interesting conversation about the state of the region. It was when the issue of climate change came up that things turned a little sour...

[Saintland]

Nightly News

Andreas Epidius was in the Royal One studio for the Nightly News, shortly after Saintland's victory over Soviet Canuckistan.

Andreas Epidius - I welcome you to tonight's Nightly News. I am Andreas Epidius. Today, the National Soccer Team defeated Soviet Canuckistan by a score of 2 goals to 1. However, the big story coming out of the match was the latest Feministvs Sanctvsterra incident. Royal One News has confirmed that the terrorist group hacked into the Royal Stadium sound system and played their own version of one of Cantus Virginum's songs. The blasphemous and seditious song attacked our Church and our traditional way of life. It was a transparent attempt to spread propaganda to an entire stadium filled with soccer fans. I applaud the fans at Royal Stadium for booing that song out of the building and I want to apologize on behalf of the King's Government to all the disappointed Cantus Virginum fans that did not get to see their favorite musical group perform. To make it up to you, Cantus Virginum will be holding a concert at Royal Stadium tomorrow, which will start around an hour after the National Soccer Team's away match against Krytenia ends. Admission is free to every ticketholder for today's Saintland VS Soviet Canuckistan match and admission is free to every schoolgirl attending a Church of Saintland school. The King's Government did not expect this act today, but they will be prepared tomorrow.

Epidius looked at his screen.

Andreas Epidius - I have just been informed that we have a surprise guest today. She is one of the members of Cantus Virginum. She is Iulietta Perquitienus.

A young girl walked into the news studio. She looked about the same age as most of her fans and had above-average looks. She sat down next to Andreas Epidius.

Andreas Epidius - Welcome to the Nightly News.

Iulietta Perquitienus - Thank you, Mr. Epidius.

Andreas Epidius - Iulietta, what happened to you today had to be horrible.

Iulietta Perquitienus - I can't even begin to understand how somebody could do this to me. Why would they want to disappoint all of our fans?

Iulietta was struggling to hold back tears.

Andreas Epidius - This is Feministvs Sanctvsterra. They hate our way of life and want to destroy it. They don't care about the women of Saintland. If they did, they would respect the desire of the vast majority of our women to live a Godly way of life and would stop trying to impose their wicked foreign values upon us. Yet, they have the gall to claim we're the "intolerant" ones.

Iulietta Perquitienus - I know. I've talked to other girls about them. We all think they're crazy and we want them to go away. We're not being "oppressed" because we are good girls. The girls being "oppressed" are the ones in other countries who are supposedly "equal" but just get used and discarded by the boys. The women being "oppressed" are the ones that are forced to work every day instead of being supported by a loving husband.

Andreas Epidius - Some people's views of the world are warped by Satanas. When you deny God, Satanas fills your head with other false beliefs.

Iulietta Perquitienus - Those whores don't seem to realize that most of us want no part of them. They did themselves no favors by making a stadium full of normal girls cry today.

Andreas Epidius - Most of those girls are now home and many of them are probably watching the news right now. What do you have to say to your disappointed fans?

Iulietta Perquitienus - I'm sorry we couldn't perform today due to circumstances out of our control. Please attend our show tomorrow at Royal Stadium and show those terrorists that they can't win. I want to hear you scream louder than you've ever screamed before.

Andreas Epidius - Since we have you in the studio, I wanted to take this opportunity to ask you about your group for some of the viewers at home. Can you describe the idea behind Cantus Virginum for our viewers?

Iulietta Perquitienus - Cantus Virginum is a group of girls. All of us are morally upstanding members of the True Church who believe in its teachings. Most of our members are still in high school and we are held, by our group, to a higher standard of behavior than ordinary schoolgirls. Although thousands of girls apply for membership in our group, only around a hundred girls are allowed to be members at any specific time. Those who are chosen have a singing background, often having sung in Church services in the past and we are all required to be and remain virgins or we have to leave the group. We desire to be a positive moral influence for other girls. We don't want any of our fans to be led astray by that vile snake Satanas.

Andreas Epidius - I think you've just explained why Feministvs Sanctvsterra would target you. If girls like you are positive role models that other girls look up to, it becomes harder for Feministvs Sanctvsterra to recruit more members.

Iulietta Perquitienus - I think you're right, Mr. Epidius.

Andreas Epidius - Do you have any message for the members of Feministvs Sanctvsterra responsible for what happened today?

Iulietta Perquitienus - I will be praying for your repentance, but I know that it will likely be in vain. What you did was awful and alienated a large number of the women you're trying to recruit. I don't believe that I am "oppressed," nor do the other normal ladies in our Kingdom. I want you to stop bothering us and I ask that you learn to respect our way of life. If you don't like the way things are in this Kingdom, please buy a bunch of tickets out of this Kingdom. Instead of being intimidated by you and rejecting our way of life, I will be embracing it and striving to be an even better girl. I probably shouldn't admit this, but like other girls in our Kingdom, I have frequently taken off my corset when I am not in school. I know that is wrong, but I have done it anyway because it is uncomfortable. I have decided to start wearing it all the time. I will also make an effort to attend more Church services and reduce the frequency of my sins. Even if I may have not lived up to the standards that girls should live up to, I do not appreciate your attacks on those standards. By embracing even the things that are difficult for me, hopefully that will send a message that we don't want to be "liberated" from the "Patriarchy" and we do not want to reject our faith in the True Church of Iesus Christus.

Andreas Epidius - Well said. I hope that the Cantus Virginum concert goes off without any disruption. Thank you, Iulietta, for joining us today. You are truly a role model for the young women of our Kingdom. In other news...

---

At the Feministvs Sanctvsterra compound, Agrippina the korfball captain was pretty happy with herself when the Royal Stadium speakers were hijacked.

Agrippina - Cantus Virginum deserved that. Those girls are pawns of the Patriarchy who encourage innocent little schoolgirls to be happy about their oppression.

A male member of the group spoke.

Georgius - Agrippina, I agree that Cantus Virginum songs are how the Patriarchy brainwashes girls into supporting them, but I don't know if what you did was a good idea.

Agrippina - It was. Why are you doubting me, Georgius?

Georgius - I think you're making a strategic mistake. The schoolgirls revere their favorite musical group. You just upset a bunch of girls that we're trying to recruit and you caused their older brothers to rally behind Cantus Virginum, as they try to comfort their sisters.

Agrippina - Why would those girls hate us? We played a sound-alike song for them, with lyrics that spoke the truth.

Georgius - They wanted to see Cantus Virginum, not Feministvs Sanctvsterra's knockoff version of Cantus Virginum.

Agrippina - Please don't question me. We have enough patriarchal oppression in the broader society. We don't need it within our group too.

Catharina - Agrippina, I'm worried that he might be right.

Agrippina - I know what I'm doing. We just played a song about the oppression of women in this country to a national TV audience. That is a huge victory in itself.

Catharina - I hope you're right.

Although Feministvs Sanctvsterra had no leader, Agrippina was one of the most respected members of the group. Georgius was a new recruit who had just been brought into the group by his older sister. He was still attending high school and understood his classmates better than Agrippina, but she couldn't see that. Georgius just hoped that they hadn't alienated potential recruits so much that future recruits would turn in the members recruiting them to the authorities, but he feared that Agrippina had done just that...

[Slembana]

It was 07:15 on Saturday 8 April 2023 in Bafilo, Slembana. 38 year-old Sam Partridge was just waking up. He yawned, opened his eyes, and got out of bed. He did not have to work today, so he was free to do whatever he wanted. He walked towards the bathroom, and brushed his teeth. As he brushed his teeth, he felt lonely. He had lived on his own for one year now, having divorced with his wife last year. However, he tried to get the bad thoughts out of his head, as he walked into his bedroom to get dressed.

Partridge put on a black shirt, a maroon sweater, and a pair of jeans. He put on his socks, before walking downstairs into the kitchen. He poured himself a bowl of cornflakes and a glass of milk for breakfast. After breakfast, he got on his shoes, and walked out of his door. He was going to get his usual morning newspaper to read.

The walk between Partridge's house and the local newsagent was not long. It only took a few seconds for Partridge to reach the newsagent and buy himself a newspaper. He bought The Slembana Times, just as he always did. After he had bought his newspaper, he walked back home. He walked into th living room, sat down on the couch, and went to the back pages of the newspaper - the sports pages.

Partridge loved to watch the football on the TV. He followed Bafilo City FC and the Slembanan national team. The Slembanan national team were currently playing in World Cup 64 qualifying. They had recorded a 4-3 win at home to Glascovia the previous night. This was Slembana's first win in seven. Their scorers were Val Kylx and Follin Maxet. Kylx, Slembana's star player, had scored a hat-trick in the Glascovia match. Partridge read the report on Slembana's match in the newspaper, and then decided to take his pet skunk, Lottie, on a walk.

Lottie was a 3 year-old female striped skunk. Partridge bought her when she was just 10 weeks old. Partridge cared very well for Lottie. Lottie won a local skunk show when she was 8 months old. The trophy was perched on the mantlepiece of the fireplace. It was polished regularly by Partridge.

"Lottie!" called Partridge. "Walkies!"

Lottie, who was sleeping in her basket, woke up as soon as her owner had said those words. She sprang out of her basket, and rushed towards Partridge, jumping up onto his legs.

Partridge stroked Lottie's back. He then went over to put Lottie's lead and collar on. He then held onto Lottie's lead, and walked out of the front door towards the local park. When Partridge entered the park, he let Lottie off the lead. Lottie bounded off, before waiting for Partridge to come to her. When he did, Lottie walked beside him. The two walked towards the forest.

The forest was deciduous and coniferous. It was home to many species of animal. People regularly walked their pets in it. Partridge tended to walk Lottie a lot in the forest.

As Partridge and Lottie walked through the forest, they saw many animals. As they walked over a log, Lottie spotted something. She sped off to get it.

"Lottie, come back!" shouted Partridge. But it was too late. Lottie attacked the thing, and killed it. She then ran to back to her owner with the thing. Partridge looked down at the animal.

It was an Afra Bird. The national animal of Slembana. And Lottie had just killed it.

Partridge would be in deep trouble.

[Bears Armed]

There is a small burst of multi-coloured lights in the sky at a spot about three hundred feet over an outlying district of Errion Vega, and a Raven appears there as if from out of nowhere.
Having dropped briefly down to nearly round level and obtained directions from a passing (and rather surprised) pedestrian, this bird then flies onwards into the city centre and -- having asked its way once more after getting that far -- into an office building (the correct one for its purpose) where it delivers the following letter _

To whom it may concern,
the DSE,
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

From:
Grirron GreyBear,
Chairbear,
‘Hot Dog!’ Limited.


“Hrarroom!” ( = “Greetings”),

I am writing to you regarding the announcement that up to eight-and-two places for restaurants at your national Football team’s new stadium, the ‘Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai’, will be available to companies from outside your own country, for the obvious reason that my company is seriously interested in the possibility of having one of our own branches occupy one of those places.
Although I gather that in some countries the term “hot dog” applies to a type of sausage, our own menu actually centres on nicely-spiced stews instead. Most of our existing branches and franchised outlets are in the ‘fast food’ end of the restaurant style range, in a majority of cases with both takeaway and eat-in options, and we would basically be aiming to fill a similar niche at your stadium although the idea of adding a rather classier dining-room as well in the case of this particular establishment is one to which our board is open if you would prefer that. We serve our stews in proper earthenware bowls for on-the-premises consumption, and with a choice of either waxed-paper bowls or incorporation into a bread ‘wrap’ for takeaway customers.
In addition to the stew itself, which comes in a range of possible flavour-levels ( mild, spicy, hot, spicy-&-sour [‘Panggar’hrro style’], hot-&-spicy, extra-hot, and extra-HOT!) with the option of adding mushrooms, extra onions, and/or a topping of grated cheese, to this, each standard serving also includes a portion of bread (customarily sourdough, except in those case where a ‘wrap’ is wanted) with which to mop-up the juices, and side-salads would also be available. In our larger branches, and in smaller ones as well in any areas where vegetarians are particularly numerous, meatless stews that are based on mushrooms and beans instead are also available: If you allow us to open a branch at your stadium then we would, if you like, include these options in the menu available there. Also, we would stock a selection of freshly-baked cookies. The beverages supplied at our establishments here in Bears Armed are a choice between spring water, buttermilk, ‘small’ [i.e. low-alcohol] ale, and ordinary ale, but of course we are willing to make changes to suit local tastes in this respect.
We are already accustomed to the idea that non-Ursine customers normally want smaller portions than do Ursines, and have well-established serving and pricing practices to handle this point fairly.
Unfortunately I can not yet quote you any figures for the probable range of prices that would be charged at this restaurant, because that would have to await a far deeper study of the applicable economic and regulatory factors than we have carried out so far, but I am sure that we could offer good food at competitive prices. The fact that we offer only a limited range of options lets us benefit from economies of scale that restaurant chains with wider menus do not, especially as the focus on stew means that our main products can be produced in large vats that simmer away gently all day with new materials added (in the right ratio, of course) when the levels therein drop below lines marked at suitable heights on each vat’s side. Nevertheless, despite this relative cheapness, we use only first-class ingredients: All of the meat used, for example, comes from purebred ‘Chau' dogs that have been kept in clean conditions.

[Barunia]

BNN Sports News Update: WC64 Qualifying - Game 11 Stats
Barunia 3–1 Lalo Limahina
Castolo '15
Castolo '38
Lasdao ' 45
Sagoro '83

GAME ELEVEN

Stephen WIggens
Stephen was delighted. Harry Centena was proving to be a competent captain of the national side. The midfielder, who co-captained the Tildos Ravens in the BFL, had been given the captain's armband halfway through the last game against Powersith. Wiggens had given him the captaincy for the next match, hoping that star striker Victor Castolo would be able to refocus on scoring. And so it had proved, Castolo scoring two goals against Lalo Limahina. The Limas had gotten one back, after a defensive mistake gave Masdi Lasdao all the space he needed to fire one past Tobias Forrest. Surprisingly the mistake came from Pacifique Tsebo, and not David or Lopez, who was on for the injured Millet.


Victor Castolo
Eleven goals. That was his competition record now. It had taken three games to get into double figures, but at last he was there. The first had come from a beautiful whipped cross from Plant, starting in his first World Cup match, which Castolo found the end of and headed past Maod's outstretched arm. The second had come from a protracted passing game, with every Sun's forward having the ball as they tried to work the ball into space. Finally Castolo found himself with the ball in front of goal, and was able to step around Mofasi and chip it into the roof of the net.

The goals had come at a loss though. Wiggens had taken the captaincy from him, believing the pressure was responsible for his poor form. If only he'd known the real reason. But Victor had not shared that with anyone on the team. Once again, the civil war in Barunia had raised it's ugly head amongst the Suns. Castolo's sister lived in the city of Newland, a vital port that had been captured by the Republicans after a fierce battle. That had been several weeks ago, and since then Victor had not heard from his sister. With the civilian death toll rising, Castolo had become more and more worried until he'd finally heard from his sister last week. She was alive, well, and living with their mother in Porthaven. That had been a huge relief to Victor, and finally allowed him to focus on the game.
Victor was still happy to see the captaincy go. He'd never really wanted it in the first place, had only taken the role because it was handed to him by Ruskin. Victor wondered where the former captain was now.


Joric Ruskin
This was a major offensive. Joric and his unit were attacking an enemy base, deep in the forests of West Barunia. Joric's section had been pinned down by heavy machine gun fire. Joric remembered the physical training he'd been forced to endure during his football career. All of it, the hard work, the games, fighting on for that elusive comeback even when the odds were against you; all that had prepared him for combat. It was almost as if that had been the prelude, the part of his fe that had led him to this point, this destiny. Was this fate, that had brought him here? Whatever it was, he would not wait here to be gunned down. Dropping to his elbows and knees, he began to crawl.

Bang. Suddenly Joric's world changed. He screamed in agony as the grenade tore into his flesh, and then as the pain intensified he blacked out into unconsciousness….

[High Heels]

"Hello, this is Kaisa."
"Miss Cuban, I'm Steve Morton. Rothbardton Times-Herald. How are you?"
"I'm fine. How can I help?"
"Do you have a comment about the lawsuit?"
"Lawsuit? I'm not aware . . ."
"For alienation of affection? Does that ring a bell?"
"That sounds like something from a history book."
"It's very real in Saint Murray, miss. And you've been accused."
"Accused? It would be nice if I was served first. Or do they do that here?"
"They do." After a pause, Morton went on. "Want a heads-up on what's in it, since you don't seem to know?"
"Go ahead."
"The plaintiff is Doctor Carson MacArthur Webster, IV."
"And?"
"And he's sued his wife Wendy for divorce on the grounds of adultery, with you as correspondent."

The conversation continued to go downhill for a short time, then mercifully ended. As Kaisa took stock of the news, the signal for another call went off. She debated letting it go, then checked, then took the call.

"Hi, Ron."
"Hey, girl. Good news and bad news."
"I bet I know the bad news. What's the good news?"
"Good news? You're leading all the newscasts."
"But not for my football, I take it?"
"Um. No. You've got some damage control to do."
"Isn't that part of why I pay you?"
"I called, didn't I?"
"You did. Thanks."
"But you're gonna want a good lawyer for this. Webster's a leech, and he'll want to pick your deep pockets."
"Webster's an abusive son of a bitch."
"Wendy tell you that? Before or after?"
"And during. She's a sweetheart."
"Just remember, three of the four partners that own Wednesday are temple-going Mormons. Star goalkeepers involved in public lesbian scandal aren't high on their wishlists."
"Sometimes I wish I was home in the tower. Towers. Where nobody would care."
"More good news, then. Most people won't. Especially Wednesday fans. Go play great football, hire a good lawyer, and all will be well. Eventually."
"You know any good lawyers?"
"I'll send you a message. I know two for this sort of thing."

[Antoletia]

"That is what you call getting back on track."

"Whoo after tying them the first time around, we sure made them sorry this time."

"Yeah and with key losses by Earo, and Sylvanaes Queendom we are back in this. Tied for third, behind on head to head, but 3 out of second. We get a result against Saugeais and possibly the Sylvanaes and we still have a chance."

"A chance in hell, but still a chance."

"Nice effort by Hiarchratez in the game. A hat trick, and hes not even our leading scorer. As a ball hawking striker once in a while you do make them pay for the chances you create for the rest of the team."

"Yeah, totally proved why he is that lone striker."

"Excited to see this team continue to mesh."

"They might not qualify, but they still are making an impact."


Goalscorers
Filip Constantinescu - 6
Hiarchratez - 4
Anton Gregovich - 2
Raphael - 2
Mathew Cannibus - 1
Clyde Dickens - 1
Gabriel Mohammed - 1
Preya Pavelski - 1
Stefan Sala - 1
Gheorghe von Leeweonheouck - 1

[Taeshan]

"Well that sucked."

"Yeah how the heck did we tie Kaledor."

"The field was shit, the grass was high. You know the usual away crap."

"Yeah but still. Of all teams to tie to, they were one of the lower end. I mean for fricks sake we have already beaten the closest seed twice."

"Yeah. That is a really surprising tie."

"Oh well guess we will have to figure it out later."

"Still we beat Hutt River in the game coming up and we decide our fate."

"I'm excited, fourth cup in a row here we come."

"And we get a new hall of fame member."

"Dang you are right. Will be interesting to see who that is."

"Yeah considering our most famous non inducted player is still playing..."

"Yeah. Guess it might be a surprise."

"Of course it will."

Goalscorers
Ender Wiggin - 9
Brian Ibrahim - 3
Gwyn Juniper - 2
Brian Kljestan - 2
Aaron Conrad
Seth Clapton - 1
Tyler Icicle - 1
Jeremy Jaffacake - 1
Kyle Laravy - 1
Xavier Ptolemy - 1

[Mashiki]

For Dilio, being on the bench was not an ideal position, as being a captain fro both his club, Syriak Guadir and the national team meant that playing in the starting line-up was a natural ability. However, after being ruled out of this game through injury, this was not a given circumstance for him to be a part of. However, for him it was only the one game, and he might even be able to come on as a substitute. The team arrived in St Bradley's from Barassia at around 14:00 local time, after a short break in the F.A's headquarters. Dilio Menz had slightly recovered from his injury against Western Cuba, but he still wasn't up to scratch in terms of fitness. He did feel that he was ready for the game, but the coaches of the squad had warned against it.

The Babbage Islands team arrived around 2 hours before the match was due to kick-off, and the starting-11 had only got to the Mashik team late, meaning that there wasn't much time for tactics. Dilio Menz was always good at tactics, but he never really go to take the session, so now was really his chance to take the session. An hour before the match, the session began:

"Right, I'll be taking the tactics session today, as I was one of the only people to receive the squad list of The Babbage Islands. Now as The Babbage Islands are the world's number one team, so basically most of the players in the team should be taken seriously. But there are some players in particular that we should look at in a bit more detail. For example, we've got the centre forward, Valentine Armstrong who's scored over 50 goals for the national team, as well as having a particularly attacking style and formation, with only 2 players playing at the back. Another key player for us to focus on is Emily Howell, a player who has scored 41 goals thus far in her career. So for this game, I think we should go for a more defensive strategy. So that's all from me, I'll hand you over to Darialla for your instructions."

Overall, Dilio thought it had gone well, as his instructions were merely to give out a quick overview on their opponents key players. During the match he'd bee on the bench, but he really hoped that he'd be able to make it on to the pitch. The match build-up was tense, and the general indication around the ground was that this was a game that would be easy too lose without Mashiki's captain. The Babbage Islands fans also came out in force, filling out 20,000 seats after a recent revamp in support for their national team. A win here would put Mashiki top of Group 17, but a loss meant that they would most likely be battling for second place with Geisenfried and Astograph, but still have a good chance of qualifying as best 2nd placed team.

The match kicked off at around 18:00 local time, and Mashiki started brightly, with Harvis Rinkervic shooting just wide in a recent surge of form. Papovski also saw his close-range effort smothered by opposition keeper Maria Carrizales. Then the visitors opened the scoring in the 32nd minute with a corner being headed in by so-called "lynchpin" Noemi Alba Delgadillo, her 6th international goal. Then it was all about the visitors, as they pushed for a second goal before half-time, and they got it through star striker Valentine Armstrong, after muscling his/her way through the Mashik defence before slotting coolly into the bottom corner. That the left the half-time score as 0-2 to the visitors.

The second half commenced pretty much the same as the first, with the Mashik attack remaining futile against the well-built Babbage Island defenders. It was pretty much a chance-less half. Dilio Menz was anxious to get on, so much so that by the 80th minute he was practically screaming at Maha Bubuneski. He just felt left out. Change wasn't exactly his cup of tea. After 3 minutes of this, the fourth official got sick and tired, and after a consultation with the referee, he had been told to go to the stands. Dilio was shocked, surprised, and disgusted. He didn't even care, and began to curse away at the referee and his team: but to no avail. Knowing his insults were doing himself no good, he stormed off down the tunnel. Sitting inthe dressing room made him think about the things that he had done, and he didn't care. He didn't regret anything. However, then this feeling overcame him.

Guilt. It enveloped him.

"What have I done?!" he cried out. "Can anybody hear me?!"

He had let down the team. Through the small stereo in the dressing room came the sound of a whistle and a cloud of boos and dismay. He felt embarrassed. Hard-done by. Mocked.

[Ossidiacqua]

SO, YOU WANT TO FOLLOW LA RENAISSANCE ON TOUR?
A guide to international travel and the risks involved, produced by The Magisterium
All hail Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re


Chapter FIVE:
Electricity
Section THREE:
Appliances

SOME KIND OF MAGIC BOX

What does it do?
Pretty much everything. Like, literally. It appears to act as a calendar, diary, musical rendition supplier, gaming station, casino, atlas, sundial, encyclopaedia, library, remote control, torch, addressbook, secret message decoder, and bookmark. And then on top of all that, can be used as a telephone. This, despite it not looking like any telecommunicative device that the tech-priests have ever seen before... Clearly it is some kind of heretic magic.

Are they common?
Depends on where you are, but in some places they appear to be almost mandatory. In fact, they are common enough for one tech-priest to initiate his own research into whether they were state issued propaganda devices. His results are being presented to His Excellency the Grand High Cardinal at the end of the month.

What should I do if I am offered one?
The answer to this question probably depends on the answer to the one above. If indeed they are issued by a state looking to control its people, you may have no choice in the matter. In which case, good luck. If offered one by choice, exhibit extreme caution, but attempt to smuggle it back to our tech-priests. Under no circumstances attempt to use the device yourself, particular not the highly addictive and life-destroying pursuit known as the Flight of the Disgruntled Fowl.

Are they a sign of wealth?
This would appear to be the case. In fact, citizens have been observed by our spies being mocked and chastised by their peers for carrying and using inferior models. This appears to be a highly competitive status symbol.

Can I learn how to use it?
We doubt it.

Will it hurt me?
At this point, it wouldn't surprise us.

[The Babbage Islands]

TORSHAVN, Polar Islandstates (BPA) -- The new youth academy complex for Polar Islandstates football club FC Torshavn was dedicated in a Monday ceremony in Torshavn. The Gillespie Memorial Youth Academy at Torshavn, named for the deceased standout Torshavn defender and Babbage Islands national team captain Ava Gillespie, boasts an expanded state-of-the-art facility matched in size and comprehensiveness only by the highly-respected Haapa-Mechelin Academy of FC Axel Heiburg.

The ceremonies took on a distinctly Babbage feel with two of three speakers associated with the world's #1 national team. Orson Cook, one of four former Bumblebees with a partnership interest in the club, represented ownership. After club president Erik Larson then narrated a multimedia tour (followed by a live excursion for those so inclined), it fell to Torshavn and Babbage winger Stefan Gill, a dual teammate of Miss Gillespie, to deliver an emotion-packed close. Gill's remarks were both eulogistic and anticipatory, simultaneously evoking visions of a memorable past and an exciting future: "I pray," he concluded, "that the heart of my fallen teammate and dear friend will ever animate this place, lifting up the youth of tomorrow with an infusion of both a love for the game of football and an unconquerable and caring spirit."

[Audioslavia]

"I have a number of ideas" said Jeremy, "I'll see if I can remember what they were, hang on..."
Time passed. Eventually Sucker Punch had to remind Jeremy what exactly he was trying to remember"
"Ah, yeah, well we'll just make it ourselves" said Jeremy, drawing a frown from Sucker - a facial expression that caused his horn to wiggle in a humorous fashion. "Think about it, by the time we get there, Kjeligsted would have been dry for months, and those on the island who can't easily get away will be absolutely gagging for a partake of the booze. It doesn't matter what we sell, they'll still buy"
"A brilliant plan" said Sucker, "with just two major drawbacks"
"Which are?"
"One..." Sucker Punch pointed to the left half of one hoof with his other hoof, an action that caused the unicorn to rock back on his chair at a dangerous angle, "...neither of us know how to make alcohol, and two..." he pointed to the other half of the hoof, "even if we did, I'm pretty sure people would rather simply not drink than quaff pints of whatever godforsaken moonshine you can concoct.
"We can concoct" said Jeremy. "Alcohol is simple. Sugar and yeast. Yeast eats sugar and shits alcohol. You need some water too, maybe some things for flavourings, but that's pretty much it. It'd be easy, we could just get an RV and go out into the desert to make it, maybe get into some wild adventures with some of the locals while we're at it"
"I think you watch too much television. It also doesn't account for option B"
"Ah but it does, y'see. They're still selling non-alcoholic beer on the island. We simply take that beer and add some home-made pure alcohol"
"I just can't help but feel that this isn't the best pl.,.. Jeremy?"
Jeremy was, all of a sudden utterly ignoring his unicorn accomplice. "Shh. Krytenia match is starting"
"Krytenia, I thought you were playing Soviet Canuckistan"
"We did, that was a few hours ago" replied Jeremy. Sucker scratched his head.
"It's going to take a long time to get used to this accelerated time"
"You should leave the island and take a couple of days to get your head round it" said Jeremy. "That way, it'll be your turn to buy drinks when you get back"
Sucker had to admit that Jeremy had a point.
"I might take a stroll, actually, get some fresh air" said Sucker. "Leave you to your game. I'm not going to get a peep out of you while the Audioslavia - Krytenia game is on, am I?"
"What?"
"Thought not" said Sucker, leaving some money on the table for his drinks, which Jeremy grabbed and stuffed into his pocket without the Audioslavian hack even realising that he'd moved his hand.

Sucker trotted along the beach, looking down at the ground. Sand, he thought. Now there's an idea.

There had been a story in the papers a few years ago. A story concerning the border between Ibex and The Inevitable Syndicate. The border had been under strict surveillance for a while, thanks to some mutual mistrust between the two nations. This border enforced strict stop-and-searches at any possible opportunity, and for any possible reason or lack thereof. The guards on the Syndicatian side had pulled up a certain man, going from TIS to Ibex, for a thorough search every day for six months. The man was always riding on the back of a goat, and always carrying a large, paclocked box full of sand. Every day, the guards had insisted the man dismount and unlock the box, which the guards would then open, tip into a tray and search, thoroughly for twenty solid minutes, looking for hidden booze or drugs or other 'questionable' goods. Every time - every single day - the guards would find that this padlocked box would contain just sand and nothing more.

The man was finally arrested after six months of pulling the same stunt. His crime? Goat trafficking.

Sucker Punch wondered if there was a similar trick to be used for smuggling booze.

[Polar Islandstates]

"So we're agreed?" asked President Iversen-Eklund.

"We're agreed." replied her Defence Secretary, Diedrich Clograck, with a smile.

"Excellent, I'm in favour of moving ahead with all speed, then." answered the President, and she looked around at her cabinet and assorted guests, sat as they were around the meeting table of the Red Room in Aasiaat. They all nodded back. Complete and utter agreement was unusual, and she had to double check before taking a breath to speak again, but there could be no doubt.

"I would encourage it, in fact," said Mika Stoll, speaking before the President had a chance, "if I know Soluca, they'll be taking a lack of action as a sign of weakness. We've waited too long, already."

"Okay, Mika," she said, valuing the Ambassador to Sargossa's opinion on the matter, before asking a favour from one of her most trusted under-secretaries, "Jon Arne, I want you to draft the statement for the Superlogisticians."

"They don't get a say?" he enquired.

"No, not on this matter, it is a matter of national security," she replied quickly with a dismissive wave of her hand, "I'm afraid they're simply going to have to go with their second choice and have the Superhub built off Terra Scotia. Jon Arne, I'm putting you in direct charge of overseeing the project. I want the resources sitting on ships outside the blockade re-routed to the new site and I want construction work to begin as soon as possible. Start digging as soon as you get there, even if it means borrowing a garden trowel and doing it yourself. First and foremost this is about impact."

"Impact?" he questioned, "What kind of impact will me scrabbling around on the floor on my knees have?"

"A huge one," she replied with authority, "if Soluca is that opposed to the Superhub in general then they'll attempt to extend the blockade to Terra Scotia as well. Except they won't, because this is just an excuse to get at Külmsaar, or 'Kűlmsaar' or however they say it. This is a great way to thumb our noses at them and show this blockade of theirs up as the transparent and calculative imperial move that it is."

"Precisely!" crowed the Secretary for Infrastructure, "Plus, we get the project back up and running, showing we're not afraid of their military muscle."

"It negates their sabre-rattling wonderfully, I must say." added Clograck with a smile.

"And that's where you come in, Diedrich," said Iversen-Eklund.

"Indeed," he continued briskly, "I'll get in contact with the Governor in Agheim as soon as we leave, but I can't think that it'll be hard to simulate a medical emergency in the hospitals there. So far as my sources are aware, Sargossan spies are unlikely to have penetrated the health service as of yet, and we can accurately predict a successful propaganda campaign."

"I do so hate that word," sighed the President in the dulled focus lighting of the Red Room, "it sounds so, ugly."

"A necessary evil, I'm afraid." added Clograck, before continuing, "But anyway, we have military units ready in Islay ready to ship out with the blockade runner we choose. The SL Southern Sun is a big unit with a lot of pace when she gets going, and she has the added benefit of having a crew just itching for some kind of retribution and to feel useful, I think we'll request her at the top of the preference list."

"Troops in Agheim?"

"Will be already fully briefed and aware of procedure," continued Clograck, "this is something that they'll have been drilled in before. The units will come in and be placed in hiding under cover of darkness, waiting for the Sargossan invading forces."

"So, you're sure they'll invade?" said a worried voice from the back of the room.

"Well, it's hard to be certain of anything at this point," said Clograck reservedly, "but I think it all depends on how they react to the appearance of UFS-Bravery and UFS-Belligerent surfacing either side of the Southern Sun just as they're approaching the blockade. We know the placements of the Sargossan ships - we're still getting intelligence feeds from Agheim on a regular basis - and there's a reasonable expectation that we can pick the least experienced captain to sail at."

"What does that achieve?" asked the same worried voice.

"We're calling their bluff, basically," Clograck explained, "if this really isn't an act of war with invading intentions on their part, then they'll back down and allow the 'medical supplies'. If they get angry, then, well, I guess we'll see an act of war. It all rather depends on how much civil unrest their puppets stir up in Polkhan and Agheim, too."

"Seems rather a risky way of calling their bluff, like you said, but a necessary evil I'm sure." said the President, "Are the subs in place?"

"Ready and waiting, Madame President," confirmed the Defence Secretary, "they'll turn back once we know the Sun is safely in dock, but they're under orders to not start anything. They just need to, be there, if you know what I mean."

"Understood, Diedrich, understood. And the troops?"

"The finest. Grenlund specialist cavalry."

"Cavalry? Bears?!" snorted Mika Stoll derisively, "You're actually sending the Mounties to a snow-less Külmsaar, at this time of year?!"

"Grenlund specialists, I said," grunted an annoyed Clograck, "from the Rochefroides Regiment. The very best. Horses."

"Oh, yeah," said Stoll, backing down sheepishly, I forgot they used horses..."

"And the officer in charge?" asked the President, "purely out of interest."

"Eighth generation cavalry noble, Madame President. Personally recommended to me by the Governor of Grenlund. You may have heard of him, in fact, the so called 'officer-poet'? Lieutenant Henri Papillon..."

---

Deep in the industrial docklands of Islay wasn't typically the kind of place you'd expect to see four cavalry patrols of Polarian cossacks bunking down for the night, but that's what was on display at this moment. Forty-eight horses and forty-eight men were taking shelter between the massed ranks of containers, and at their head sat the officer-poet himself, Lieutenant Henri Papillon, just waiting for the encrypted message to come through from Aasiaat.

He didn't go searching for fame, fame came looking for him. As one of the Grenlund Papillon's, he was born into a famous military family. His line could be traced back for as long as the Rochefroides had lived in Grenlund. They'd used their legendary equine skills on both sides of the Grenlund civil war, operating as skilled and valued mercenaries that would always fight in the best interests of the Rochefroides community whatever the situation, and as a Papillon by birth there was never any doubt as to what he would be doing when he grew up.

Despite this, he had never seen active duty in wartime himself. He'd never been deployed in anger. Nor had his father. Nor his father before him. Decades of peace in the Federation and Grenlund before that had left the Rochefroides Cavalry to their own devices. Now fully integrated in the Grenlund and Federation military structure, they'd been drilled, exercised, and used ceremonially for years, and this sting of conflict in the air was new to all of them.

In a nation set on using polar bears as truly devastating cavalry steeds, Rochefroides cavalry was notable for their preference for horses, and it was this that set them apart from the more tradition Federal Cossack units. What they lacked in brute strength and ferocity, they more than made up for with fleet of foot, nimbleness, their ability to re-structure, and their discipline. They were a force that any commander would have liked to have at their disposal, and didn't Iversen-Eklund know how lucky she was. An elite bunch, the company headed by Papillon on those docks represented half of their entire ranks.

With a lazy flick of his cigarillo, Papillon looked at the moon. His reputation as a poet had given him a name not just in the military, but also nationwide, where he had seen his works published in respected gazettes. It was said that he represented a lost age of chivalry and military nobility amongst the ranks of scruffy haired and grubby kneed youngsters that made up much of the Federation's comparatively poorly-equipped land forces.

"Oh moon,
would you look down upon us tonight,
with such a smile of reassurance.

"Oh moon,
you cannot say we know the future,
of what is held in store for us.

"Oh moon,
we are but men to our masters,
mere children to each other.

"Oh moon,
with a smile and a wink and nod,
trust us like we have before.

"Oh moon,
a favour now may need redeeming,
in future we may need to trust you.

"Oh moon,
your light will be as constant,
a constant beacon in the dark."

Interrupted in his musings, the click and whirr of the receiving printed out the coded message. Papillon read it, and gave two clicks with his mouth. Wordlessly, forty-eight horses and forty-eight men settled into their containers for the voyage. On what boat, they didn't know, but they knew they wouldn't see daylight for the next two days, and they all took a good look at the moon before they shut the doors. One thought kept Papillon warm as he moved his units into hiding, it would be a lot easier to hide forty-eight horses inconspicuously in Külmsaar than it would have been in the rest of the Federation.

He shut the door, made sure the horses were happy, and lay down to await the cranes.

[Saugeais]

Pieran: "I can finally manage again."


Pieran pensively watching the match against Westros

Well, the Knights' first loss certainly wasn't pretty. A 4-1 loss away to a Westros squad they had only manage to defeat 2-1 at home. It would've only been natural for manager Powell Pieran to raise a stink about his players performance, his lack of sound formations, tactics, anything really. But at the post match press conference, he let out a sigh to start, followed by, "I'm relieved that I can finally manage my team again. I think I gave a pep talk once during the past 11 match undefeated run, and that came before the very first match. After we just kept winning and winning, and drawing once, I let the team decide how to play, since it clearly was working during that run. Now, it's back to the drawing board, and I have some special concoctions ready for the match at Zackalantis."

Saugeias has been at the top of the groups for the majority of the qualifying stage, and even with the loss, still remains 5 points clear of The Sylvanae Queendom in second. They also have the best goal difference in the group, and third best amongst the entire qualifying field. Casimir Archambault has certainly been no slouch for filling in Kuzman Ruslan's spot as the target man for the team; he leads the team in scoring with 12 of the 38 goals scored. Newly promoted striker François Bourgogne has carved out a small niche for himself, netting 7 more for the squad. Jonathan Miles and international rookie Alphonse Richelieu have contributed 4 goals each, while his twin brother, Baudouin, scored his first, and so far only, international against Kalumba. François Rousseau has been on fire for his Laketown Rangers clubs, but has since lost some steam on the international stage, only netting 3 goals during this campaign so far, while his substitutes Carson Turnbull and Jimmy Alberighi have scored once each. And what international tournament could go without Daley Hart getting on the score sheet in one form or another. The towering center back has headed home 4 goals for himself off quality Miles corner kicks. And rounding out the team scoring are two more international debutants: winger Cristoforo Landi and striker Lyndon Crespo each scored late in the game against Nova Torshavnia, both looking to see more playing time in the near future.

[Jedi8246]

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Greetings and good afternoon. Welcome back to the Fenris Sports Corner. We now turn to the World Cup, which has only heated up. A tight gap on the points makes this one of the closest qualifications in a long time. The Archregimancy has gained a decisive lead with 29 points. However 2nd-4th are all tied or within one point. Sadly it was Jedi8246's latest series of ties and losses that allowed Ko-oren to rise as it did.

Jedi8246's loss to the Bearded Moose team and tie with Kericia has dropped Jedi8246 to the 4th spot. They have 21 points leaving them only one point behind both Michael VII and Ko-oren. Jedi8246's recent downturn has many questioning our abilities moving forward. The offense has looked tired and exhausted while the defense actually seems to be holding stable. Many consider it a shame that we dropped these games when we easily could have used them to move back into second.

However the season is far from over. We still have a number of teams to take on and prove our worth. The fight for qualification makes every game important and Coach Hemlock is preaching that at every practice and game. Jedi8246's into Silver Beach next week seeking a decisive win. This increase in the rankings will be necessary moving forward. As always, best of luck to our boys. More after the break."

[Hyskigland]

Di Hārold
Di Furš ænt End Āŋlɨš Tɨndiŋ av di Komunwelþ av Hískɨglænd

Sumir: Di Blʉ-Svards farlar dār andra mač kontra Mítænyon 8-2.

---

The Herald
The First and Only English Newspaper of the Commonwealth of Hyskigland

The Mytannion national football team was playing angry, and it certainly showed, as the visiting Blue-Blacks were demolished 8-2 at Arka Park in Mytannion.

After defeating the Mytannion squad 3-2 at home in the first half of World Cup qualifying, the odds that the Hyskiglandic national team could pull off another major upset were undoubtedly slim. But they failed to even come close, as they were pounded 8-2, conceding six goals in the first half alone. Goalkeeper Len Gʉld was chased late in the opening forty-five minutes, and substitute Albɨn Akselsun would be responsible for allowing Mytannion’s last four goals, though it can be agreed that the Blue-Blacks could do little to stop their opponents from scoring at will.

“This happened to me once or twice in my playing days,” head coach Everett Lang said, harkening back to the six World Cup campaigns he participated in as captain for the Stachland Reds. “There were two matches against one team in one campaign where we lost the first 5-0, and the second by a score of something like 9-2. Not my proudest moment, but, in the end, we were still a good team.”

Hyskigland’s two goals were both scored on penalty kicks: the first by Erɨk Fɨsk in the fortieth minute, breaking his small streak of scoreless games, and the second in the seventy-fifth minute by Bror Helmensun. The Blue-Blacks had a chance at a third goal late in the game, but the shot by captain Arn Tensmed bounced off of the top bar.

The Hyskiglandic squad will next be traveling to Apox to face the group leaders and soon-to-be group winners. Apox has accumulated an impressive 11-1-0 record so far, not dropping a single match. The Blue-Blacks’ first encounter with them ended in a narrow 1-0 defeat at home.

[Ko-oren]

Ko-orenite Roster Name and Pronunciation Guide!

(OOC: Basically the sounds of the language called Ko-oran. It's pretty far advanced for a constructed language afaik, and here I'm just posting what you need to know to more or less correctly pronounce the names. I know they can get long from time to time)

Watching some of the foreign media during World Cup matches can give one a headache. I know they're all trying their best to correctly pronounce the names... But maybe they're just trying too hard.

As far as our language is concerned: spelling is easy, pronunciation is not too difficult either but everyone needs some training, probably. So here is: the unofficial guide to the Ko-orenite roster, for names and pronunciations! A little gift from the online Ko-orenite community trying to help (and maybe arrogantly correct) the rest of the world.

First things first: a letter written is a letter pronounced. No fancy silent e's here (Hello, French, English and many other European languages!), no letters pronounced differently each time you see them (I'm looking at you, English-speaking nations), and stress is always on the first syllable (Privyet, Russian-speaking people... Though Dutch, English and so forth can learn something from this too). Or at least, the stress is always on the first syllable in names. So here we go:

Ko-oren: pronounced with two o's as in the English cloth [ɔ]. It has a glottal stop in the middle of the two o's, as in uh-oh (the dash in uh-oh, that is). The 'r' is actually a trill, but no one's going to hate you for doing the rhotic retroflex thing. The 'e' is a [ɛ] as in dress. No weird things with the k and the n. See, nothing to worry about! At least two out of seven characters are easy.

Coach Pet Rilasthaunden: Pet with an e as in dress [ɛ]. For the last name: try to sound it out for yourself a few times, and remember: stress on the first syllable! The r is a trill again, the i is 'long', as in 'feel' [i]. The a is as in palm [ɑ]. Th is pronounced together as... well, the th sound in English. Au pronounced together as in mouth, and the last e again pronounced as in dress [ɛ].

Keeper Haki Asgard: Three a's in this one, and they're pronounced in two different ways. Remember our promise of 'no letters having two different pronounciations'? Well, turns out that's only true in Ko-orenite spelling (with our own alphabet. Sorry, it's nothing like English/Roman/Latin or whatever you want to call it). The first 'a' is a sound notoriously missing from English, but it's the a from Spanish: [a]. Both a's in the last name are as the earlier a's ([ɑ] from palm). That's it really, for this one.

Defenders:

Svarlamn Norn: both a's as in palm [ɑ]. O as in cloth [ɔ]. For the rest, try not to stumble too much on the sv combination or the mn combination. Both r's are again trills (or rolling r's), but anything goes, really.
Sobek Dehenat: O as in cloth, first e as in dress, rest of the e's as in the e of Spanish. Sorry English-speaking population, your vowel system confuses the rest of the world... All consonants are as you would expect, though.
Lodur Nidog: First o as in cloth, last o as in... something in Australian English, apparently. Just imitate Spanish again. Or Dutch, French, German, or any other language with the Latin alphabet that is not English. The i is like 'feel' again, and the 'u' is like the last vowel in 'comma'.
Fin Fenner: I as in mix, and both e's as in dress. For the rest, try to roll your r's!
Susano Sanuki: He's actually from the Japanese-speaking popuation of Ko-oren, of which most live on the colony of Arhoren. So for this, ask yourself what a Japanese speaker would do. Hint: you could just imitate a Spanish speaker again, and be 99% right.

Attackers:

Palnatoki Idrasil. Finally a first name that requires some skill. First a as in the Spanish a, second a as in palm. O as in cloth, and all the i's you see are like the one in 'feel'.
Thor Alfar: Both a's are like the one in palm, the rest is the same as in English!
Koyane Shiribeshi: again, a part of the Japanese speaking population. So just find one in your neighborhood and you'll be set!
Naemasu Tokachi: See above... the ae combination is not one diphthong or vowel, they're different.
Pta Talmis: Both a's as in palm, and the i as in feel. Good luck on the pt combination!

Next episode of this: the substitutions. We've had the easier ones up until now, wait till we get to Juliasterinthen, Haukderevnastar and Roluwishandin Erlenajaur. And brace yourselves for Eregrent's first name... It has a sound not found in English or Spanish this time. French, Dutch and German speakers (and many others), you're in luck! It's the 'u' (spelled as y)! Or ü if you speak German.

We might even cover some of the stadiums used. Ko-oren City, and Esthauan might not be difficult (Esthauan: aua pronounced as au-a: au as in mouth and a as in the Spanish a. You may insert a w sound in between), but Sraltlur could be. Sr at the beginning, and ltl in the middle. The standard pronunciation is not too difficult, but most of you are lucky the Western (and Alaran) pronunciation is not the standard (in IPA, ltl is [ltɬ]).

[Farfadillis]

The Ferdullaele Post

Politics

The Westlands are ours?



Conversation between one of our reporters and Tim Jong-Il, representative of the Federal Council in international incidents

It's been a hard week for all of the members of the Federal Council (as unbelievable as that may sound), as they have finally found themselves with a matter they didn't want to dismiss without even knowing about it. Apparently, as our peace-loving II-representative Tim Jong-Il says, Farfadillis is going to try to lay claim on the Westlands on some dubious "historical evidence", which according to many is not historical and is not evidence. The matter is not really surprising, as some time ago the Federal Council attempted to claim Audioslavia's land after some sort of dubious storm on some evidence that was said by scientists to be "silly, full of lies and a horrible waste of two minutes of someone's life". Yes, we're that pathetic.

However, there seems to be some alright reasoning this time around, though. Apparently, there's relative proof of a Farf conqueror having attempted to claim the Westlands, before leaving because the land was "too Rushmori". However, the Federal Council claims that the land was legitimately claimed by this conqueror whose name has not been revealed to the public. If this were true, and lands worked in a first come first serve basis, Farfadillis would be able to rule the Westlands, which would mean something truly good for our economy, and bad for our sport, as that would make us more Rushmori, which means we'd be bad.

There has been some conflict already about the Westlands, with Darmen also laying claim on them because they're right next to them, while the current holders, Valladares, are very far away... and are Valladars. What else is there to say? The people in the Westlands haven't said a word yet. One would think the wisest thing to do is ask them, but nobody has looked into that option yet, it seems. What Farfadillis has looked into is the possibility of nuking Scott City, Darmen's capital city, with incentives from the Valladar government, which would make the fight for the Westlands a Valladar-Farf war. That just can't end well...

[Valanora]

"Where is it that we come from mother?" asked the youngling, just passed their tenth birthday.

"What do you mean my child?" answered the intrigued parent, wondering what would prompt her child to ask such a question.

"Where did we come from? I know the story of Elune but where did she and those with her come from and how did they end up here?" explained the young child.

"That is a very interesting question with an answer I am not sure even I quite understand. If the humans are to be believed, we all were created from some divine entity, which is perhaps not so outside the realm of possibility given our knowledge of Elune. Yet failing that, we evolved somehow from the first single celled organisms that were made after this planet was made. And like all things in this universe, our planet, our star, and everything is just the recreation of what has come before, the remnants of past celestial beings, star dust if you will."

"But that doesn't explain where we elves quite came from or how we wound up in Atlantian Oceania. I have also found references in some history texts of a place called The YoungWorld where we once supposedly were located. I do not understand how this is possible." her child pushed on forward with his inquiries.

"Another time in another life perhaps. Yet there is also the idea that there are multiple instances of the same universe, parallel to one another. If you can accept that as truth, then perhaps in one of this parallel universes we were a part of of this place called The YoungWorld and through some interconnection, that mentioning came to our own. Perhaps even our universes were merged. As for how we came here, well you know the story of Elune. We have been here since she and her fellow originals. The males were of Silvan origin, the females of Sindarian origin. Beyond them, we don't know, just those original seven of our Vanorian race. They found their white tree here in these lands and settled as was foretold to them. The rest you should know from your studies."

"I still do not understand where it is we come from or why there is such descripancies between our time and that of the human realms. It's been over twenty thousand years since Elune and yet humans say that there has only been civilization for the past ten thousand years or so." the youngling was full of questions it seemed.

"Perhaps human civilization my dear, we were a reclusive people for a long time and for good reason if you know anything of the history of our first interactions with people who were not elven. Now calm yourselves of these questions, it is past time for you to get ready for your rest. Tomorrow you're traveling with your farther to the capital and you shall need your rest."

"If you insist mother."

[Kalumba]

Ambubwe raised his rifle and squinted down the sights, then raised his head and wiped the sweat from his brow. Returning to the rifle he aligned them with the kudu and squeezed the trigger. The report still ringing in his ears, Ammbubwe rose and jogged towards the fallen animal. Cautiously he reloaded his weapon and pressed in against the kudu's ear and pulled the trigger again ensuring the animal was dead. He was all alone in the bush, but knew his gang would gather at the sound of the shot and rush towards him.

With this in mind he began to dismember the kudu, starting by removing the entrails from the main body cavity then he broke the legs in their sockets. With this done he sawed through the tough skin and laid the four severed limbs aside and worked on removing the head. With that done and sweat pouring off his bare back, Ambubwe began to work on the main carcass. He heard his men approaching and stopped leaving the rest of the work too them, and gratefully taking the newspaper they had brought with them.

The Herald
Report by Bruce Mtwetwe

Kalumba soldier on. After the resounding defeat to Saugeais, Kalumba have gone from strength to strength. The defeat while savage actually ended on a positive note, with us winning the second half by two goals to one, and the reaction of the crowd has really had an effect on the team who went away to Zackalantis and administered an excellent performance that was rewarded with a three-nil victory; in which Chris Abouto scored twice and created the other for Van Harniggen.

Kalumba then faced an extremely difficult home tie against The Sylvanaes Queendom, who were coming off the back of an extremely convincing 6-2 victory and had beaten us in our previous encounter comfortably 3-0. But we started with real fire in our bellies and dominated the opening exchanges, but without creating any chances and nerves were growing taught in the crowd as we feared another demoralising defeat. But the team were not affected ad continued to control the ball and with twenty minutes gone created the first goalscoring chance, when Cheeter saw his effort palmed over the top.

From the resulting corner came delirium as Duncan Edward rose highest at the backpost and powered his header into the far corner. The crowd erupted, and only strnuous efforts from the police and stewards prevented a repeat of the pitch invasion that followed the end of the match against Saugeais. And amazingly Kalumba continued to press instead of sitting back and defending their lead.

And just before half time this decision was justified, as Ollie Roberts smashed a shot against the bar and Kevin Davis wanted the ball more than any of the defenders and hammered home the rebound. This time a sizeable number of supporters managed to breach the police cordon to celebrate with the players. Thankfully they left quicky and the match continued.

The second half passed like a dream, as the Sylvanae pressed desperatley to find a way back into the matc. But Edward and Van Harniggen were rocks at the back and attacks broke on them like waves against a sea wall. Anderson acted like a great rock breaking many waves before the defensive wall and Ottbourne was the final stone in our inpenetrable defence. Time and time they came and each time were hurled back into the sea of the midfield.

Sensing a historic victory manager Davies removed both Roberts and Abouto, bringing on Grezlak and Rowlatt. While not accomplished defenders both were solid players and threw themselves into the fray with the spirit of beserkers, each making vital blocks and tackles. And then the whistle went and the whole crowd surged onto the pitch and carried their heroes should high from the pitch. This win will live forever in the memories of those who saw it, an unranked side of amateurs and old veterans beating one of the best sides in the world.


Ambubwe felt tears in his eyes as he read of the victory, what a spectacle. Surely this was the most glorious moment of this World Cup, an unranked side beating one of the best and comfortably too. He felt the tears become a full flood as he wished he was there, but just being associated with those heroes was enough for him now and slept dreaming of that glory.

[Kinitaria]

Continued from here.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this afternoon's game here at Stadion Očernii, the proud home of West Karzuli. It's a clash in the C-League between West Karzuli and Lokani United, so please welcome the teams!" bellowed the stadium loudspeaker as the teams made their way onto the pitch - West Karzuli in their all-red, Lokani in their green and white striped home kit. "We'll take a look at the two teams, and this is how the visitors line up," continued the PA. The team selection which followed was one that Milo would have been very happy with had he been up in the stands, but there was something about being given responsibility for actually picking the side that made him doubt it somewhat.

After the basic pre-match formalities were completed, the match was underway, and the difference between playing a lower-end team like Sosiyala Hosesti, and a promotion-chasing side like West Karzuli, soon became clear. The hosts were quicker to every ball, more agile, more skillful. They were better, in short, and Lokani soon found themselves pushed back into their own half. Marizič might well be an experienced centre-back, but he was having significant trouble coping with the home team's attacks early on, and Lokani were very fortunate not to find themselves a couple of goals behind in the first few minutes, the West Karzuli front two cutting through their defence so very easily, and only the quick reactions of Elbov in the Lokani United goal were enough to save them.

This was going to be a different sort of game, Milo realised straight away. Lokani may have had two or three good old-fashioned 'hard men' amongst their team - team captain Kuzman Erizov being the most prominent example - but West Karzuli had six or seven. A team playing at this level with some strong, physical players can bully and demoralise opponents into submission, and it's rare that you ever find a third-tier team with the ability to counter such tactics. Still, that's what the players had been warned against, and what they now had to counter.

The trouble with this is that actually doing so was going to prove difficult. West Karzuli played technically legal, but sneaky, in the fashion of "it's not a foul if the officials don't spot it". Time after time, Lokani players found themselves given sneaky nudges at set-pieces, helped off the ball by means of an undetected shove, and generally harassed throughout. While football's purists tend to fiercely criticise such tactics, the problem in this case was that they were working. To Milo's frustration, Lokani were intimidated by it, and found it difficult to cope with. As the first half wore on, they were sitting five or ten yards behind were they were when they started. It was almost like inviting West Karzuli onto them, and such tactics would naturally be suicidal when playing against the league leaders.

It was taking some desperate defending to ensure United still hung in there, and even that looked like it might not be enough. Their only decent chance came after about half an hour, when Piri Malkon collected the ball 35 yards out, drove his way through three defenders and sent a blazing shot straight at the home goalkeeper. At least it was something, but it wasn't enough. Lokani soon found themselves on the back foot once more, and a series of last-ditch tackles, a couple of good saves, and - once - a clearance off the line from Gorenev, deputising at right-back, kept the scores level. They were living dangerously, to say the least.

With the increased pressure, Lokani were looking increasingly likely to crack, and with about two minutes of the first half to go, the Lokani defensive line was slow to react to a chipped ball over the top, allowing a West Karzuli striker to charge through, take possession, and knock the ball past Elbov into the back of the net. The celebrations of the champions-elect would soon be cut short by the linesman's flag, giving a huge sense of relief to Milo, whose heart had plummeted immediately upon seeing the net ripple. There would be no time for any further scares, fortunately enough, and at the half-time whistle, Milo was able to usher his team into the safety of the tunnel with the scoreline firmly blank.

"We've kept them out, that's the main thing," the manager addressed his team at half-time. "But you're letting them frighten you. You're pulling out of challenges, sitting back, inviting them onto you. It doesn't work. We've got to be positive, show them what we've got, give some back to them, yeah? It's not going to do any good playing with a flat back nine, because if we do that, they're going to cut us right open. That's what they've been doing in the first half, we've been pushed onto the back foot. Boris, you had something to say?" he added, turning to his first-team coach for a bit of motivational assistance.

"You lot need to pull your fingers out!" bellowed Boris Velkič, renowned for his inspirational speeches. "Right now, we're going f**king nowhere, because you lot are too scared to make a f**king tackle! These f**kers don't like it up them, so get out there and give them some! Stop letting them walk all over you and start showing them what you've got!" It probably sounded much more poetic when he said it in Kinitar.

With those words still ringing in their ears, the players reappeared on the field of play for the start of the second half. It looked like being a very similar start to the first half, until Erizov caught a red-shirted opponent early on with a harsh scything tackle. He certainly took the ball, but he also took the guy's ankle with it. The referee just waved play on, much to the consternation of the home side, but the Kinitar game is generally much more physical than its counterparts in the rest of Atlantian Oceania, after all.

Small incidents can turn football matches, and this one seemed to act as an inspiration to the Lokani team. All of a sudden, they were pushing much higher up the field, and really taking the game to the league leaders. West Karzuli looked out of ideas, and Lokani almost inadvertently took the lead when two home defenders collided, allowing Piri Malkon a free run at goal, but the Lokani striker could only send his placed effort skewing harmlessly wide of the post. Still, they were having a go, and producing much more than they had in the entire first half.[box]

With discontent rising amongst the home crowd of around 8,000 or so, their hosts began to make more unforced errors and show some vulnerabilities in their play. Leon Borselič tried to accelerate down the left wing, but his path was blocked by a home player who cut his legs out from under him, and Lokani had the free-kick. Borselič was on his feet, unharmed, and ready to take the free kick himself. He chipped it up high, and it fell teasingly into the box before - somehow - being met by the head of 5'8 striker Elim Fajron. No chance for the keeper as it flew into the back of the net, and the away end went wild. Milo was just about to do the same before he remembered to restrain himself. It wasn't over yet, after all, and there was still a long way to go. But to be 1-0 up against the best team in the league...

Maybe the players had allowed the sense of achievement to get to them already, but all of a sudden, Lokani were sitting back again, resting on their one-goal lead. While Milo frantically tried to encourage his players forward from his spot in the technical area, the team seemed frightened to try anything risky, preferring to get a few yards upfield and lump the ball upfield rather than the attempt at playing more skillful football, which had worked wonders at the start of the half. Milo reacted by throwing on centre-back Mikhail Lovirič in place of Borselič. A bit of reorganisation needed then - if they were going to defend, they were going to do it properly.

The game started to look as though it was fizzling out. With the Lokani back five, as it was now, holding firm, the hosts didn't seem to be able to find any way through, and some frayed nerves were apparent on both sides. A number of harsh challenges were going in, and Erizov picked up a yellow card for his troubles, as did two of the hosts. Kick-and-rush now seemed to be the order of the day for West Karzuli, and when you've got a number of physically strong players on your team, that can work wonders.

Time was against the hosts, though. The fourth official's board went up, showing (a minimum of) three additional minutes. Milo found himself going berserk on the touchline, frantically urging his players to hold the line, although if you'd asked him after the game what he'd been saying, there's no chance he'd have been able to remember. What seemed like an eternity passed by, and still they played on. But still Lokani held firm. And then, as if it had been scripted by the cruel hand of Fate herself, a cross was put in from the far side, a red shirt was first to it and the ball was bundled home. This time, there was no flag to save Lokani, and the ball hitting the back of the net felt like a punch right to the stomach.

"Come on, lads, keep your heads up," said Milo to the dispirited Lokani side as the final whistle blew not more than a few seconds later. "Well played, we've got the point." But the words sounded hollow even as they left his mouth. They had missed their chance to rise out of the relegation places. Fortunately, Sosiyala Hosesti had lost, meaning they didn't sink further into trouble.

One point from safety. Three games to go. This one was going right to the wire.

[Equestrian States]

ESPN: Equestrian Sports Programming Network
The Defenders’ Day in the Sun
by Steve McNotapony

Bongo Johnson - 0
None

Equestrian States - 1
Andrea Molovi '71

Throughout the first eleven matches of the Equestrians’ qualifying campaign, there was a pattern that any casual hoofball fan could spot in a heartbeat. It was the Ponies’ high-flying offense that was leading them to victory, netting the fourth most (37) goals of any team. The defense was adequate, but had suffered in several games, conceding four goals to the Monopoly (MD2) and three against Osarius (MD7) and the Gypsies (MD10). It wasn’t anything unusual for the Ponies to have a less-than-stellar defense, but the numbers of defensive lapses were beginning to worry some analysts.

Last night’s match was not like the eleven that preceded it. The defenders, not the big-name midfielders or forwards, carried the game and proved to the world that they were capable of performing in high-pressure situations.

The game began with both teams probing the other, neither making an all-out drive to score on the other. For the most part, the ball remained at midfield where the Ponies’ highest-caliber players and packed 3-5-2 formation gave them the bigger chunk of control time. Roughly twenty minutes in, the hosts from Bongo Johnson began their attack, pressing hard against the Ponies and looking to break away from a determined wall of defenders. The midfielders fell back to aid in the defense, keeping the home team from getting any clear shots on goal. Shot after shot went wide or was easily batted away by Equestrian goalkeeper High Soarin’.

As the match neared halftime, the Ponies began to hit back hard, pummeling the clearly outclassed Bongo Johnson defense. But the home team’s goalkeeper was simply too good for Rainbow Blitz or Fire Dash to poke a shot by, and although the half had clearly been dominated by the Ponies’ defense and offense, there was yet to be a score.

After play resumed, the Ponies restarted their attack. Rainbow Blitz unleashed a number of brilliant shots that were turned away by the smallest of margins. Even team captain Fire Dash was frustrated by the shots that he simply couldn’t get by the keeper. Bongo Johnson’s team had been utterly exhausted trying to hold back the waves of Equestrian attacks. The offense was on fire, but was unable to burn the last few strands of the rope that kept Bongo Johnson in the game.

Finally, in the 71st minute, the strings snapped. A quick one-two shot by Rainbow Blitz and Starlight Sparkle was knocked aside by the diving Bongo Johnson goalkeeper, but the keeper was unable to hold the ball, which trickled away. Racing in came Apple Jack, but without a good angle, the midfielder kicked the ball back towards his teammates. It landed before the feet of defender Andrea Molovi, who was goalless for almost a full year in international play. Quickly moving to a superior position, the human (one of only a few on the Equestrian States national team) ripped it by the scrambling Bongo Johnson keeper and into the back of the net. With less than twenty minutes to be played, the Ponies finally had their lead.

The home team would try desperately to even the score, using their last bits of energy in a futile attempt to break by the wall that was the Equestrian defense. Once again, the Ponies had effectively used their greatest advantage over their opponents: their ability to keep a murderous pace up throughout the entire game. The final whistle blew, and the Equestrians and their fans could celebrate another win and the extension of their unbeaten streak to an unprecedented 18 matches.

With the win, the Ponies are now just one point shy of matching their total from the last qualifying campaign (33), and are a solid eight points ahead of third-place Lymantatia. However, biting at the rear hooves of the Equestrians are the Firebirds of Osarius, who have sustained their own red-hot pace to trail the Ponies in the standings by a lone point. Heading home to Stalliongrad to face the United Provinces of Atlantica, the Equestrian States will need to once more play their best in a group title battle that seems likely to be fought until the final match day.