NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Aragesh]

#1221

Man of the People

The Issue
Junior Culture Minister @@RANDOMNAME1@@ is thirty years your senior, but @@HE@@’s always had a twinkle in @@HIS@@ eye, a love of showmanship, and a certain lightness of step. It was therefore less surprising than it might have been when @@HE@@ declared that @@HE@@ had been approached to be a contestant in the hit reality TV show Celebrity Jungle Idol Dancing Factor. Mindful that @@HIS@@ actions reflect on your government, @@HE@@’s asking your permission to go ahead with this.

The Debate
1. “I see this as a great opportunity to get viewers interested in politics!” @@HE@@ says, adjusting the crotch of @@HIS@@ sequinned leotard. “The viewing and voting public adore this show, and my going on there would be great for political engagement, great for government popularity and — I admit — great for the sales of my upcoming memoirs. It’s just a bit of fun... You wouldn’t begrudge me that, would you?”

2. “No, no, and thrice no! Have we lost all sense of decorum?” asks Party Whip @@RANDOMNAME2@@, trembling visibly at the thought of it all. “The mindless mob will mock us! This will undermine respect for the government and for your leadership! Frankly, this nation needs a better class of television programmes. Perhaps you could use tax incentives and subsidies to persuade the TV stations to stop running this lowbrow trash, and instead have an uplifting schedule of operettas, ballets, educational documentaries and the like? We’d be a culturally and mentally richer nation for it.”

3. “We absolutely should let my honourable colleague make a fool of @@HIM@@self,” says @@RANDOMNAME3@@, your Minister of Spin. “In fact, we should make a point of directing our politicians to feature in mindless lowbrow drivel like this as often as possible. When the masses are laughing at us they won’t notice as we tighten our grip on the country. Laughter breeds complacency, and complacency opens the door to control.”

Issue by The All Seeing AI of Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

That's "as received": I didn't check to see whether there were actually any other options.

I got 3 totally different names, even options 2 and 3 had a different gender. So far the numbering is correct, internal 0, 1, 2.
As for the many @@HE@@ and alike, it seems plausible the first Minister is always male, but that would need to be checked in the proposed issue.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

On another note, the effect line for #1222 3 reuses the same joke as #924 3

Hadn't spotted that. Thanks for flagging, I'll amend 1222.3's effect line shortly.

[Trotterdam]

I just spotted the new one. I like it.

[TalAkMaChen]

Issue 39, option 3 (valid for Atheist nations)

3. “Unbelievable!” says moralist Cooper Medina of the local Ethics Committee. “Our government officials must be held to a higher standard than this! Mr. Lotsalovin must be removed from office and prosecuted. We cannot allow such disgusting corruption within the halls of justice!”

While option 2 had the red name as @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, this could be the same here.

----------------

Issue 415, option 3 (valid for ??? nations. It's not "no sports" but something else, c.f the wording in option 2)

*2. "Come on, @@LEADER@@. You're not actually thinking about this, are you?" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, PR rep from the @@CAPITAL@@ Wyverns, a professional @@ANIMAL@@ball team. "I know it's tough, but without @@ANIMAL@@ball in the schools, who will be the great pro athletes of the future? Need I mention that @@ANIMAL@@ball is a storied part of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture dating back generations? You wouldn't want to mess that up, would you?"

*3. “Come on, @@LEADER@@. You’re not actually thinking about this, are you?” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, coach of the @@CAPITAL@@ Wyverns, a well-known amateur @@ANIMAL@@ball team. “I know it’s tough, but without @@ANIMAL@@ball in the schools, who will be the great weekend warriors of the future? Need I mention that @@ANIMAL@@ball is a storied part of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture dating back generations? You wouldn’t want to mess that up, would you?”

(found at NormanJackson which has a lot of various policies, but none that say "no professional sports", i.e. explain why instead of the professional team it got an amateuer team)

[TalAkMaChen]

Here it is!
Issue #1220 Barely Any Art
The Issue

Women dressed in @@ANIMAL@@ masks are barricading gallery entrances across @@NAME@@, protesting that women are often seen as nude subjects for male painters, but rarely have their voices heard when they want to be appreciated as artists.
The Debate

1. “The modern era’s zeitgeist demands equal representation of the art of the male and female artist,” complains a protester who is naked except for her mask, as she lounges in your chair and sips tea from a fur-lined cup. “Break the male gaze! Force galleries to equally represent men and women, both as artists and as subjects.”

2. “Les femmes can not make ze art, zey ARE ze art, non?” comments a notable gallery director, who has not yet even noticed that the protester is wearing a mask, despite having been staring intently at her chest for the last ten minutes. “You must not be censoring us, non? Let us have la liberté in deciding what goes into ze galleries, eh?”

3. “I have a fabulous idea, fearless leader!” trumpets your Minister of Propaganda. “Patronise the best female artists with government contracts, and mandate that they be displayed in all galleries and public spaces. However, they should only be sculpting statues and painting portraits of the most important person in this nation... You, @@LEADER@@!”

No names at all? Well, that saves all variables.

[The Free Joy State]

Here it is!
Issue #1220 Barely Any Art
The Issue

Women dressed in @@ANIMAL@@ masks are barricading gallery entrances across @@NAME@@, protesting that women are often seen as nude subjects for male painters, but rarely have their voices heard when they want to be appreciated as artists.
The Debate

1. “The modern era’s zeitgeist demands equal representation of the art of the male and female artist,” complains a protester who is naked except for her mask, as she lounges in your chair and sips tea from a fur-lined cup. “Break the male gaze! Force galleries to equally represent men and women, both as artists and as subjects.”

2. “Les femmes can not make ze art, zey ARE ze art, non?” comments a notable gallery director, who has not yet even noticed that the protester is wearing a mask, despite having been staring intently at her chest for the last ten minutes. “You must not be censoring us, non? Let us have la liberté in deciding what goes into ze galleries, eh?”

3. “I have a fabulous idea, fearless leader!” trumpets your Minister of Propaganda. “Patronise the best female artists with government contracts, and mandate that they be displayed in all galleries and public spaces. However, they should only be sculpting statues and painting portraits of the most important person in this nation... You, @@LEADER@@!”

No names at all? Well, that saves all variables.

Issue 1220 "Barely Any Art"

Author: Devil Heart
Editor: Candlewhisper Archive

(Because I know enquiring minds will want to know )

[Trotterdam]

I have confirmed that the names Plessy Ferguson and Scott Sanford in #1218 are not random, but the gender of the human who was injured is.

Still no word on option 3.

[TalAkMaChen]

New one: #1226
Unintelligent Oversight

The Issue

A review of the national budget has revealed that the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Intelligence Agency has, among other things, been pouring millions of @@CURRENCY@@ into the construction of an “interdimensional time-travelling microwave”. Bewildered at the project, many government officials are accusing the department of wasting their funding.

The Debate

1. “What a load of hogwash!” exclaims your Minister of Defense, @@RANDOMNAME@@, tossing a gelified banana onto your desk. “This is all they have to show for their work! Time travel, multiple dimensions, and super weapons for super soldiers: these are all fine comic book ideas, but utter nonsense for those of us who must live in the real world. It is clear that these ‘intelligence’ agencies have been given far too much freedom to operate. They ought to seek approval from you for all future experimental projects.”

(Random name was "Cho Park", could also be random male name, thus)

2. “Of course shut these projects down, but shouldn’t we be talking about the question of accountability to the taxpayer?” snidely asks opposition leader Hercules von Bismarck, entering your office for his daily argument. “It’s probably your fault the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Intelligence Agency is wasting public money in the first place. I propose that all significant financial operations of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVEINITIALS@@IA be overseen by an independent watchdog committee. It will be the fairest way to prevent future excesses!”

(Hercules von Bismarck, neither first nor last name are listed in the random names list, so it must be fixed)
(Not sure if it's "NAMEINITIALS" or "DEMONYMADJECTIVEINITIALS", but in the first part of the issue it's the denonym adjective with IA added, so I assume it's the latter.)

3. “Why are we letting an intelligence agency conduct any amount of scientific research?” snarls red-haired Chief Scientist Fatima Kurisu, furiously gesticulating over your desk while perilously clutching an open bottle of hydrochloric acid. “Isn’t that what my team is for? If you ask me, you should just cut out the middle man entirely: stop funding the secret missions your intelligence agencies keep asking for and redirect those monies straight to the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ scientific community. Besides, it’ll teach these ‘secret agents’ a valuable lesson — keep abusing your funding and you’ll eventually lose it to those of us who can decide what matters most.”

(not-random name here was Fatima Kurisu, also unlisted)

4. “Hold on a second,” hisses what you could have sworn was just a regular office plant only a moment ago. “It’s me, Agent @@RANDOMNAME@@. I have good word that East Lebatuck has already perfected mind control shampoo AND conditioner. If we want to match this threat, you have to let us do our thing — which would be easier if you stopped breathing down our necks with spurious ‘national budget reports’. It’s time to truly go toe-to-toe with our rivals, one household appliance at a time.”

(and a real random name, I had Steffan Khan)

Issue by The People's United Provinces of Valrifell
Edited by Altmer Dominion

Options were checked, internally 0-3, so nothing in between. However, as listed above some uncertainties.

[The Free Joy State]

*snip*

Name macros for Issue #1226 "Unintelligent Oversight"

Options 1, 2, and 4 are @@RANDOMNAME@@. Option 3 is @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEFEMALE@@ Kurisu.

EDIT: While it's great that you're trying to help Jutsa maintain the list, I can't help but think that it might be easier to follow the issue if you copy-paste the whole issue without annotations, TalAkMaChen. If there's anything you're confused about, it can be noted afterwards.

[TalAkMaChen]

Agreed! However, I was checking the initial post here (from Jutsa, back in 2009) which contains a (or the?) list of random first and last names. Neither Fatima nor the others were listed there, so I assumed they were not random. Maybe the list should then also be updated to contain all currently used random names?

On a note, issue 1226, option 2 seems to rather have "@@NAMEINITIALS@@" instead of the denonym. At OptionOners the denonym is set to "First" but the Agency is still the "OIA", despite in the initial debate it's labeled as "First Intelligence Agency", i.e. with the denonym. Maybe this should be fixed for clarity.

[Trotterdam]

Agreed! However, I was checking the initial post here (from Jutsa, back in 2009) which contains a (or the?) list of random first and last names.

The list is pretty old. It's hard to maintain, because you'd need to check every single name you get against the list, and you only get a few names per issue, so it'd take a long time of tedious checking to make sure you've caught them all.

I posted some new ones here, but I think even more have been added since then.

[Bears Armed]

Agreed! However, I was checking the initial post here (from Jutsa, back in 2009) which contains a (or the?) list of random first and last names.

The list is pretty old. It's hard to maintain, because you'd need to check every single name you get against the list, and you only get a few names per issue, so it'd take a long time of tedious checking to make sure you've caught them all.

And you can get ones taken from your nation's customised fields, too...

[Trotterdam]

And you can get ones taken from your nation's customised fields, too...

Well, it's possible to check against that. Assuming you remember what your custom fields were.

[Bears Armed]

And you can get ones taken from your nation's customised fields, too...

Well, it's possible to check against that. Assuming you remember what your custom fields were.

Well, I can remember more than one person posting "is this a new random name?" questions in this forum and having to be reminded that this factor was why they got it...

[Jutsa]

Updated the issues list directory and NSIndex's issues list.

I know this isn't the mega-update that added everything to the lists, but it's a nice start.
My apologies for not being active; I've been working a lot more than I thought I would (been 44 hours a week lately),
but I've genuinely been enjoying myself. Only thing is I no longer have nearly as much free time,
so updating this is going to be a slow process... and with how many projects I have left that I want to finish and little time to do it,
I've actually been contemplating whether I'd deem fit to run the thing.

Still, at least it's gotten some attention. And as a bonus, we actually hit Section 4 on the front page directory!

Edit: Oh yeah! Was very glad to see some of the issues, and some of the authors get an(other) issue accepted.
Congratulations to you all.

[Amjedia]

#(1228): (The Road to Hell) [( Baggieland); ed: (Baggieland)]

The Issue
Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over a celebratory dinner to discuss this matter in equal amounts of jubilation and trepidation.

The Debate

Choice 0:“What idiot passed her?” bemoans your sister, in a voice laden with maternal protectiveness. “I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street. She honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! @@LEADER@@, you must standardise driving examinations and test the examiners themselves against the same standards. Then there’ll be less people like my daughter on the roads.”


Choice 1:“Mum, that’s so not fair!” squeals your niece. “Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly — wasting my time on purpose — I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall: right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, the examiner, Leia, was like really cool; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In her opinion, if there were ‘other reasons’ to pass me, then her professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square, kind of!”

Choice 2:“My little niece has a license now? That’s so cool!” exclaims your brother, who is your niece’s favourite uncle. “Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let’s go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should show that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!”

[Trotterdam]

#273 3/4 are both unavailable to nations with compulsory atheism.

[Land Without Shrimp]

#(1228): (The Road to Hell) [( Baggieland); ed: (Baggieland)]

The Issue
Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over a celebratory dinner to discuss this matter in equal amounts of jubilation and trepidation.

The Debate

Choice 0:“What idiot passed her?” bemoans your sister, in a voice laden with maternal protectiveness. “I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street. She honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! @@LEADER@@, you must standardise driving examinations and test the examiners themselves against the same standards. Then there’ll be less people like my daughter on the roads.”


Choice 1:“Mum, that’s so not fair!” squeals your niece. “Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly — wasting my time on purpose — I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall: right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, the examiner, Leia, was like really cool; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In her opinion, if there were ‘other reasons’ to pass me, then her professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square, kind of!”

Choice 2:“My little niece has a license now? That’s so cool!” exclaims your brother, who is your niece’s favourite uncle. “Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let’s go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should show that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!”

In Choice 0, should it read, "...she honked at them so furiously" instead of "she honked them so furiously"?

[USS Monitor]

#(1228): (The Road to Hell) [( Baggieland); ed: (Baggieland)]

The Issue
Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over a celebratory dinner to discuss this matter in equal amounts of jubilation and trepidation.

The Debate

Choice 0:“What idiot passed her?” bemoans your sister, in a voice laden with maternal protectiveness. “I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street. She honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! @@LEADER@@, you must standardise driving examinations and test the examiners themselves against the same standards. Then there’ll be less people like my daughter on the roads.”


Choice 1:“Mum, that’s so not fair!” squeals your niece. “Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly — wasting my time on purpose — I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall: right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, the examiner, Leia, was like really cool; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In her opinion, if there were ‘other reasons’ to pass me, then her professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square, kind of!”

Choice 2:“My little niece has a license now? That’s so cool!” exclaims your brother, who is your niece’s favourite uncle. “Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let’s go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should show that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!”

In Choice 0, should it read, "...she honked at them so furiously" instead of "she honked them so furiously"?

I would say "honked at them," but I'm not sure if that's a typo or an American/British difference.

[Land Without Shrimp]

I would say "honked at them," but I'm not sure if that's a typo or an American/British difference.

Yeah, I almost hesitated to ask, because I thought maybe this was a British-ism I've never heard before (and I lived in Scotland for 3 years!). But I decided to post just in case. "honked them" just sounds weird to me

[Sanctaria]

There's definitely an at missing, honked them sounds really weird, and I'm a native British English speaker. Well Hiberno-English but sure look. Basically British English since they enforced the language on us and almost wiped out our native tongue...

Anyway. Fixed.

[Baggieland]

Basically British English since they enforced the language on us and almost wiped out our native tongue...

"Honked them" seems fine to me, but I won't argue over a small difference like this.

Anyway. Fixed

Thanks!

[Nation Tracker]

#1229 Crystal Clear Sinuses

The Issue
With methamphetamine on (and in) the minds of many @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, law enforcement officials have suggested limiting access to meth precursor chemicals, such as pseudoephedrine, a common nasal decongestant sold in pharmacies across the country.
The Debate
1. “Drugstores are being taken advantage of, and what a darn shame it is,” laments rural sheriff Sherlock Reagan. “If we’re gonna stop this methampheta-meltdown, we need’a restrict the sale of meth precursors. Doing so will stomp the brakes on meth makers, who require ‘em in bulk to keep up their deadly production. A reasonable monthly limit and requiring a valid prescription from a licensed doctor ain’t a bad idea, if y’all ask me.”

2. “Seriously, you don’t think I have enough work to do without being hassled by junkies for prescriptions?” complains stressed-looking family doctor Anakin Wu. “Cough medicines and decongestants don’t do much more than honey-and-lemon or steam from a bowl of hot water anyway. Just make all these precursors illegal, and crack down harder on recreational drug trade while you’re at it.”

3. “Restricting pseudoephedrine sales only hurts responsible, law-abiding citizens!” passionately exclaims Medical Rights Association spokesperson Emma Ebert. “I’m no criminal, I just buy my meds by the metric tonne for my allergies, and a few extra as presents for my similarly allergy-stricken friends! Show some trust in @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, and deregulate these drugs!”

4. “I mean, the whole making meth at home thing is not as easy as certain TV shows would have you believe,” complains your nephew, rapidly finger-tapping a repeating pattern because of his drug-induced OCD. “Why don’t you just legalise methamphetamines, and users can then buy crystal meth from proper suppliers who know what they’re doing.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Candensia]

My thanks to CWA for editing this one.

[Chan Island]

Thanks to The Marsupial Illuminati for editing another one of mine, now issue 1230!

Been ages since I've drafted anything, but seeing that competition is going to get back into this me thinks.