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[ACCEPTED] Not Treatying Us Well

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Jutsa
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[ACCEPTED] Not Treatying Us Well

Postby Jutsa » Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:01 am

Well, it's earth day! Apparently... I could've sworn it was yesterday.

Regardless, here's a draft I made based on the US pulling out of the climate treaty.
(That said, I used Wezeltonia, but still made it so the UF either pulled out or never joined in the first place.)

I hope you enjoy! I also tried to give it some humor CWA would enjoy. Here's hoping. :P
(Let me know if I've gotta change anything)

Draft 1.2
Title: Not Treatying Us Well
The Issue: Following your agreement to an international climate treaty to reduce carbon emissions, several nations have been falling short of the treaty's expectations, while others have outright left. Just a week ago, Wezeltonia pulled out of the treaty, leading the populace worried about the impacts it could have on the environment — and @@NAME@@.
Validity: Must have the "Climate Treaty" policy

Option 1: "All of this pulling out has put a heavy weight on us and the planet," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you an exaggerated chart of Wezeltonia's carbon emission rates before and after pulling out. "We need to significantly increase our ecological protection funding while also pushing harder to force down carbon emissions. I'm aware it'll have a drastic effect on the economy, but it's better than letting our world shrivel up, and it'll be good for our image. This is nature we're talking about!"
[effect] @@NAME@@ picks up the tab every time a richer nation bails out to get richer

Option 2: "We can't let this slide! We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers what they're asking for: death and destruction!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radical environmentalist obsessed with guns and big bazookas. "Show them their economy really will suffer by convincing the treaty nations to put trade sanctions on them. If they still don't comply, we'll wage a whippin' war with Wezeltonia. That way, we'd have one less worry in our way of world domina—I mean, world prosperity."
[effect] war machines are the leading source of emissions

Option 3: "So, you want to help our planet by bombing a great power?" mockingly interrogates Catherine Gratwick, recently named 6-time champion at the @@CAPITAL@@ Annual Dance-Off. "Forcing them back in won't help. In fact, they may actually be on something, here. I mean, if nations can't keep up with the pace, then maybe you should propose to other world leaders a decrease in demands. After all, a few more nations agreeing to it would more than make up for the reduction in demands."
[effect] the solution to having too much of something is to have more of it

Option 4: "Or, maybe ya should just forget about this here nonsense 'cuz it's junk anyhoo," rants an ambassador from the United Federation, dunking a hotdog-bacon mega burger deluxe supreme™ in his ten-galon cup of Wezeltonian coffee. "Even if clahmate change were really a human problem, stahfling mechanical progress will only tarnish yer abilities to fahnd betta ways of doin' thangs. If ya pull out now, and denounce it for its poor performance, y'all will sure be much betta off — just lahk us!"
[effect] an attempt to be the better nation has left @@NAME@@ a mark of shame


Title: Not Treatying Us Well
The Issue: Following your agreement to an international climate treaty to reduce carbon emissions, several nations have been falling short of the treaty's expectations, while others have outright left. Just a week ago, Wezeltonia pulled out of the treaty, leading the populace worried about the impacts it could have on the environment — and @@NAME@@.
Validity: Must have the "Climate Treaty" policy

Option 1: "All of this pulling out has put a heavy weight on us and the planet," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you an exaggerated chart of Wezeltonia's carbon emission rates before and after pulling out. "We need to significantly increase our ecological protection funding while also pushing harder to force down carbon emissions. I'm aware it'll have a drastic effect on the economy, but it's better than letting our world shrivel up, and it'll be good for our image. This is nature we're talking about!"
[effect] @@NAME@@ picks up the tab every time a richer nation bails out to get richer

Option 2: "We can't let this slide! We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers got what they're asking for: death and destruction!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radical environmentalist obsessed with guns and big bazookas. "Set an example by convincing as many treaty members as possible to wage a whippin' war with Wezeltonia if they don't come back. If they don't comply... well, that's one less thing getting in our way of world domina—I mean, world prosperity."
[effect] war machines are the leading source of emissions

Option 3: "So, you want to help our planet by bombing a great power?" mockingly interrogates Catherine Gratwick, recently named 6-time champion at the @@CAPITAL@@ Annual Dance-Off. "Forcing them back in won't help. In fact, they may actually be on something, here. I mean, if nations can't keep up with the pace, then maybe you should propose to other world leaders a decrease in demands. After all, a few more nations agreeing to it would more than make up for the reduction in demands."
[effect] the solution to having too much of something is to have more of it

Option 4: "Or, maybe ya should just forget about this here nonsense 'cuz it's junk anyhoo," rants an ambassador from the United Federation, dunking a hotdog-bacon mega burger deluxe supreme™ in his ten-galon cup of Wezeltonian coffee. "Even if clahmate change were really a human problem, stahfling mechanical progress will only tarnish yer abilities to fahnd betta ways of doin' thangs. If ya pull out now, and denounce it for its poor performance, y'all will sure be much betta off — just lahk us!"
[effect] an attempt to be the better nation has left @@NAME@@ a mark of shame


Title: Not Treatying Us Well
The Issue: Following your agreement to an international climate treaty to reduce carbon emissions, several nations have been falling short of the treaty's expectations, while others have outright left. Just a week ago, Wezeltonia pulled out of the treaty, leaving the populace worried about the impacts it could have on the environment — and @@NAME@@.
Validity: Must have the "Climate Treaty" policy

Option 1: "All of this pulling out has put a heavy weight on us and the planet," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you an exaggerated chart of Wezeltonia's carbon emission rates before and after pulling out. "We need to significantly increase our ecological protection funding while also pushing harder to force down carbon emissions. I'm aware it'll have a drastic effect on the economy, but it's better than letting our world shrivel up, and it'll be good for our image."
[effect] extra work is put into keeping @@NAME@@ alive but hardly thriving

Option 2: "We can't let this slide! We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers got what they're asking for: death and destruction!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radical environmentalist obsessed with guns and big bazookas. "Set an example by convincing as many treaty members as possible to wage a whippin' war against Wezeltonia if they don't come back. If they don't comply... well, that's one less thing getting in our way of world domina—I mean, world prosperity."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ forcibly provokes active responses if other leaders don't turn green

Option 3: "So, you want to help our planet by bombing a great power?" mockingly interrogates Catherine Gratwick, recently named 6-time champion at the @@CAPITAL@@ Annual Dance-Off. "Forcing them back into the agreement won't help. In fact, they may actually be on something, here. I mean, if nations can't keep up with the pace, then maybe you should propose a reduction in treaty obligations to the other member states. A few more nations agreeing to it would more than make up for the reduction in demands."
[effect] demand is lowered to increase the supply of twig-loving hippies

Option 4: "Or, maybe ya should just forget about this here nonsense 'cuz it's junk anyhoo," rants an ambassador from the United Federation, dunking a hotdog-bacon mega burger deluxe supreme™ in his ten-galon cup of Wezeltonian coffee. "Even if clahmate change were really a human problem, stahfling mechanical progress won't solve anythang! If you pull out now, and denounce it for its poor performance, you will sure be much better off — just lahk us!"
[effect] an attempt to be the better nation has left @@NAME@@ a mark of shame
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:11 am, edited 13 times in total.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:50 pm

Good issue premise. Liking the overall structure and form.

Not convinced on any effect lines, however.

All in all, a good start.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:52 pm

Yeah I was starting to get tired out with those. Thanks, CWA. :3
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His Excellence
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Postby His Excellence » Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:19 pm

Fun, well written draft. Nice work Jutsa. :)

For effect lines, maybe 2's could be "war machines are a leading source of emissions."
"Sometimes it is easy being green" for 3 if it's not too obvious.

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Apolloloreyvarterria
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Postby Apolloloreyvarterria » Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:30 pm

Time to do for you what you've done for me... give my thoughts! :D

Like others have said, I think the effect lines are what probably need to be looked at the most.

For effect 1, it seems a little... odd. I understand that it's talking about the economy, but I feel like it could be put in a more clever way. For instance, " as @@NAME@@'s environment blossoms, its economy wilts", or something to that effect. An allusion to the environment, ya feel?

Effect 2 seems to be a bit too specific. I feel like rather than just "if other leaders don't turn green" could be broadened to suggest that @@NAME@@ provokes other nations if they don't agree with something, be trivial or important, that @@NAME@@ suggests. Does this make sense?

Effect 3 doesn't feel so much like an effect line as a summary of what the option says. It doesn't really state what happens because of the demand reduction. For instance, "the reduction in demands has turned the once-promising treaty into a glorified piece of dead tree" is something I came up with off the top of my head. Just something that says what happens as a result of choosing the option.

Effect 4 doesn't look bad. Couldn't think of something to say about it right now! :)

All-in-all, I like it! Just maybe take a look at some of the effect lines and you'll be onto submission in no time :hug:

Like always, this is my opinion. Do with it as you wish! <3

Good luck!

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Wed Apr 25, 2018 6:39 pm

Thank you guys for liking the draft as a whole. :D

Changed the effect lines so hopefully they're just better. Thoughts? :)

Edit: Also changed a sentence in option 4. Accidentally forgot to readd it in.
Ed2: Also a couple tiny adjustments. :p
Last edited by Jutsa on Wed Apr 25, 2018 6:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon Apr 30, 2018 3:46 pm

Bump~
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Apr 30, 2018 4:02 pm

Option 1- if they pulled out, why are they in support of it
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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Mon Apr 30, 2018 4:21 pm

How about this option in between two and three:

"With Wezeltonia's large military and all, that's doing to spell our doom before Wezeltonia even suffers one casualty," reasons economic strategist @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ between moves in a chess game. "Think about it: Wezeltonia is pulling out to help its economy, so that's obviously what matters to its leaders. Therefore, the only way to get them to rejoin is to make not being in the agreement even more detrimental to their economy by placing sanctions on them, and getting other leaders to as well, until they rejoin. Sure, it'll take a little diplomatic pushing, but—wait! I think I see a good move!" @@HE_1@@ captures @@HIS_1@@ opponent's queen.
Effect: No one bothers starting wars when economic sanctions are just as effective.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon Apr 30, 2018 4:53 pm

I suppose I could, but I kinda feel like there are already so many issues where sanctions vs. war is a thing.

I'm actually tempted to work your suggestion in instead of current option 2... but at the same time, I'd feel bad about getting rid of a few of the jokes in it and because of it.

Idk, I'll think about it, but I don't think I'll be having both. (besides, option 4 is always the reversal option for climate treaty!)
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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Mon Apr 30, 2018 5:39 pm

Jutsa wrote:I suppose I could, but I kinda feel like there are already so many issues where sanctions vs. war is a thing.

I'm actually tempted to work your suggestion in instead of current option 2... but at the same time, I'd feel bad about getting rid of a few of the jokes in it and because of it.

Idk, I'll think about it, but I don't think I'll be having both. (besides, option 4 is always the reversal option for climate treaty!)
Maybe combine in with option 3 in that case? I think that that's the closest option that's already there.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon Apr 30, 2018 6:19 pm

It seems a lot more like option 2. Option 3 proposes lowering the demands of the treaty itself,
while your proposal has to do with hurting Wezeltonia if they don't come back(which is what current 2 does).
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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:47 pm

Jutsa wrote:It seems a lot more like option 2. Option 3 proposes lowering the demands of the treaty itself,
while your proposal has to do with hurting Wezeltonia if they don't come back(which is what current 2 does).
Do you think that it would be biased to also have one or both of the options affect intelligence?

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon Apr 30, 2018 9:09 pm

I mean, 1) Idk how exactly that'd work, 2) Quite possibly and 3) I mean, that's something the editors do, not me. :P
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Thu May 10, 2018 8:35 am

Alrighty, well, hopefully I've incorporated your idea into option 2.

That was not easy, but it did result in a couple more wishy-washy words, which is swell.
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Postby Candensia » Thu May 10, 2018 5:49 pm

A Wild Candensia Appeared!


The Issue: Following your agreement to an international climate treaty to reduce carbon emissions, several nations have been falling short of the treaty's expectations, while others have outright left. Just a week ago, Wezeltonia pulled out of the treaty, leading the populace worried about the impacts it could have on the environment — and @@NAME@@.
Validity: Must have the "Climate Treaty" policy


As others have said, I like the idea of this one, and your description is clear and to-the-point. However, my typo detector is going off riiighht abouut....

...Wezeltonia pulled out of the treaty, leading the populace worried...


there. :p

Option 1: "All of this pulling out has put a heavy weight on us and the planet," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you an exaggerated chart of Wezeltonia's carbon emission rates before and after pulling out. "We need to significantly increase our ecological protection funding while also pushing harder to force down carbon emissions. I'm aware it'll have a drastic effect on the economy, but it's better than letting our world shrivel up, and it'll be good for our image. This is nature we're talking about!"


This is a somewhat awkward disconnect from the last sentence, if it were me I'd use a tiny concluding sentence talking about what could result from an improved national image, instead of wrapping it back to nature. For example, "Just think of all the green-thumbed tourists we could attract!" or something like that. This option is still wholesome and solid though. :)

Option 2: "We can't let this slide! We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers got what they're asking for: death and destruction!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radical environmentalist obsessed with guns and big bazookas. "Show them their economy really will suffer by convincing the treaty nations to put trade sanctions on them. If they still don't comply, we'll wage a whippin' war with Wezeltonia. That way, we'd have one less worry in our way of world domina—I mean, world prosperity."


get got, got.

Option 3: "So, you want to help our planet by bombing a great power?" mockingly interrogates Catherine Gratwick, recently named 6-time champion at the @@CAPITAL@@ Annual Dance-Off. "Forcing them back in won't help. In fact, they may actually be on something, here. I mean, if nations can't keep up with the pace, then maybe you should propose to other world leaders a decrease in demands. After all, a few more nations agreeing to it would more than make up for the reduction in demands."


I think you should reemphasize that you are talking about a climate agreement here. It took me a couple reads to remember that, and I was left thinking "Forcing them back into what?".

Something like "Forcing them to rejoin the agreement won't help..." should work just fine here. Also, I think you should spruce up the lingo from just "a decrease in demands". Something like "...then maybe you should propose a reduction in treaty obligations to world leaders." would flow a bit better, in my opinion.

I'd follow that up with a cute little "I bet it would even attract new nations to sign onto the agreement." I'd replace "After all" with "Besides" and you're good to go.

Option 4: "Or, maybe ya should just forget about this here nonsense 'cuz it's junk anyhoo," rants an ambassador from the United Federation, dunking a hotdog-bacon mega burger deluxe supreme™ in his ten-galon cup of Wezeltonian coffee. "Even if clahmate change were really a human problem, stahfling mechanical progress will only tarnish yer abilities to fahnd betta ways of doin' thangs. If ya pull out now, and denounce it for its poor performance, y'all will sure be much betta off — just lahk us!"


:lol2: noice.

In conclusion, you've got a lovely little piece here, Jutsa. Use these suggestions as you wish, and I wish you the best of luck! :lol:
Last edited by Candensia on Thu May 10, 2018 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri May 11, 2018 1:08 am

Yes, this issue is good enough to be accepted, though it would definitely help to continue tuning it here for a while longer.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Fri May 11, 2018 8:31 am

Updated! Option 3's kinda long, so I didn't want to modify it too much, though.
Also just cut out option 1's last sentence. :P

Ed: Also, thanks. :D
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri May 11, 2018 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Baggieland
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Postby Baggieland » Sun May 13, 2018 3:26 am

Jutsa wrote:We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers got what they're asking for


You don't need the last 'got' in there.

Option 2. I don't get why an environmentalist seeks world domination??

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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Sun May 13, 2018 6:18 am

Baggieland wrote:
Jutsa wrote:We've gotta give those no-good double-crossers got what they're asking for


You don't need the last 'got' in there.

Option 2. I don't get why an environmentalist seeks world domination??


Originally I was going to find and put up a meme of a literal eco-warrior.

Now I can only disappointingly report that this is a tragically under-memed subject.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Sun May 13, 2018 7:12 am

....

I swear I got rid of that got.

... dangit! I changed the first draft instead of the current one. >_>

Updating that. y.y
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Sun May 13, 2018 7:14 am

Now I can only disappointingly report that this is a tragically under-memed subject.
Eh, I'm not familiar with most memes...

just kinda familiar with a few things that randomly hit me, like the globglogabgalab.
Last edited by Jutsa on Sun May 13, 2018 7:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Sun May 13, 2018 2:23 pm

Jutsa wrote:
Now I can only disappointingly report that this is a tragically under-memed subject.
Eh, I'm not familiar with most memes...

just kinda familiar with a few things that randomly hit me, like the globglogabgalab.


I was specifically looking for some form of silly picture, like of an environmentalist riding a mecha T-rex. But, alas, the internet did not provide anything satisfactory.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Tue May 22, 2018 1:54 pm

Oh jeez, I thought it had been a little while since I bumped this!

Another draft I think I'll keep up for about a week unless a major suggestion is implemented*.

If you really want, Chan, I could still try to fit in the mecha-dinosaur or something. :P
Last edited by Jutsa on Tue May 22, 2018 1:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Sun May 27, 2018 9:24 am

Submitted! I hope I got everything right; was kinda hard when a couple other edits were made to the original instead of the final draft. >.>

Also changed a couple of grammatical things. Thank you all for the help. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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