World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

[Branta Island]

Edoardo Gaspari's Online Journal
June 4th, 2029

Hello fans! Sorry, I didn't write last week. There was a sudden, shocking palpitation that caused another trip to the hospital. Nothing serious, however the doctors did note that my heartbeat is becoming more and more abnormal. I may be fitted with a pacemaker very soon. So, for a little while longer, I'll still be at home, resting and cheering on the Brantolano like a fan while Francesco remains as interim manager.

Speaking of Francesco, he's been doing a great job while I've been away. After 4 matches, the boys are undefeated and in second place in the group, only 2 points behind Valanora. Those elves certainly have a stranglehold on the group so far, and they'll be a tough nut to crack both times we face them. Meanwhile back in our neck of the woods, Orsino Rocca and Aureliano Sebastiani have been powerhouses up front for the squad, registering 7 of the 10 goals that were scored overall so far. I called them up personally to congratulate them after both wins, to which they were ecstatic on the other line. Partially because of their wins, but I think mostly because hearing their coach's voice again would lift their spirits.

It's hard to pinpoint any major flaws in the matches between Tiradarsaor and Mythic Erin. Both Gaelic nations had sup-par defenses that were easily exploited by our strikers and outside midfielders, with enough space to freely launch crosses and powerful shots from well outside the box. As a result of the constant offense, I noticed our back line creeping further and further up to the midfield. While great if we are persistently in their third of the pitch, it turns into a nightmare when the opposition begins a counter attack. With as little as 2 defenders back, both Tirdarsaor and Mythic Erin were able to lift high. lobbing passes that connected to their attackers who ran breakneck through our back line to catch up. This left our keeper all alone, one on one with the impending shot. Four times this happened, and all four times the opposition scored. Believe me, I have full faith in Max Rustici in net. I'm more concerned about the lack of good positioning on the back line, and in order to prevent further damage to our goal difference, it needs to be addressed.

The Brantolano face off against the elves of Valanora next up. I am excited to see how our team will fare against them, but in reality, I'm expecting a loss.

Until next time, fans!

[Sondstead]

Subtitle is officially AWOL.

Sondsteadish Pop Culture · Sports in Sondstead · Technology · Weird Stuff · Visiting Sondstead

Sondstead World Cup 65: The Hungover Edition (23 June 2013)

Contributed by Ash Terry · Yeeaaahhh, I hit the beer hard last night. Sondstead was beaten two to nil, the first loss for them so far in the World Cup. Against Sangti, a team who, theoretically, ranked well below Sondstead. It was crushing for the fans, even more so since Sondstead was playing well and still got clobbered. So, yeah.

The game started good enough, with the Sondsteadish team starting with almost the same as the published 4-3-3 lineup (the exception being Katie Ästerssünr, who has proven herself quite talented, filling in for Weäldrberg). It was an offence-focused first half for Sondstead against the defence-focused Sangti team, and the action was neck and neck for twenty minutes until the Sangti forward Adrian Magcaleng scored at 21 minutes in. Even despite conceding a goal, Sondstead was in good shape and blocked some close shots at 29 minutes (Marvick Sor) and 37 minutes (John Utanes), although Sangti in turn blocked close Sondsteadish shots; two from Ästerssünr and one from Mihäel Hömmel. Still, it looked like anyone's game at halftime.

Here's where Tomas Rum acted, for once, unpredictably, and likely made his fatal error. The Sondsteadish team came back out still 4-3-3, with Gamal Karimi replacing Ästerssünr (got tired I guess) and Tom Karlman replacing Äster Bage̊r-Lusjanssunr (who wasn't performing at his best). The strategy so far has been to go back to a more cautious 4-4-2 in the second half, but evidently Rum misjudged the Sangti team based on their rank and assumed their one goal was a fluke.

And first it seemed like he might've been right, and Sondstead came devilishly close to scoring a good half-dozen times (of course, Sangti came that close nearly as many times). They were never going to get all those shots, but just one of them would've been a whole different story. Then, a shot from John Utanes at almost the last minute took it to two nil and there was no time to score left.

So, yeah. I don't want to write about footie any more than I have to. Instead, I'll tell you about the local beer I drank a lot of last night after the game. Lorenz de Baoyam Brewery's Lorenz de Baoyam Pilsner is quite nice, with an attractive light yellowish colour and some very nice slightly sweet notes. Sort of a "European-style" pilsner, reminded me of some of the Van Luxemburger pilsners like Nieuwenhuis. It's a shame customs would've been a female dog if I tried to bring some back and it's pretty much unknown anywhere else in the world as far as I know.

[Socialist States Owen]

Kelly Sporadic entered the room in his makeshift press centre at the team hotel. Tomorrow evening, his side would be facing Eastfield Lodge in a crucial qualifying game. Once he was sat down, flanked by Assistant Manager Johannes Kallstrom, Head Coach Louis Watson and captain Tom Riley, he readied himself to answer questions with a tired smile. First up to question him was a young female journalist from the Pooltree Post.

"Mr Sporadic, how are the squad this evening? Are they confident in their ability to perform?"

"Yes of course, and they always are. The thing is we, and I mean they, have the mentality to win, to put in 100% and more every time."

"And what would you say to those who have been claiming they might be under the weather after the virus that went round the squad last week?"

"We may be missing a player or two, but changes were planned. It shall not be a problem." Next up was Drive Directus FM sports reporter Graham Fringe; and he would be the one to kick off the problems.

"Graham Fringe, DDFM 390.3 Sports here. After that dreadful performance against Licentiapacisterra how have you managed to get your defenders together?"

"You know we have limited defensive options at this moment, but I've been reassuring to my defenders because I know they have the quality. How can you say it was dreadful?"

"It's been a long time since we've let five goals in at home to a team with a lower WCC ranking than us, Kelly."

"It was an anomaly and you know it." Sporadic did not look happy with this line of questioning.

"Kelly I'm just saying, we've shipped 12 goals in four games."

"And we've won three of those games mate! Who are you anyway? Who do you think you are?"

"I...I'm Graham Fringe, DDF-"

"It was a figure of speech for god sake man. Now look, you know what happened there. We were unlucky and they played the game of their life. The Millar goal came from a freak deflection and Keir was offside. They deserved to win but our defenders were not that bad, you wouldn't know though, you wouldn't know a good goal from Adam you wouldn't!"

"I'm just saying, have you had a word with them? Told them its unacceptable?"

"I've encouraged them. You can't batter them after bad luck like that, and I can't just drop them. Dassuna and Collins will get their chance. If I did what the jokers of the world wanted morale would collapse. The fact of the matter is we are an attacking team and we always have been, and we've conceded freak goals. Next question please, and you, if you pop up again you better give me a proper bloody question." There was a momentary pause as the next journalist nervously waited for the mic.

"Clint Covey, Emplor. Have you talked to the FA about your position?" Sporadic looked incredulous at this question from Covey, one of the most trusted journalists in the eye of the Euran FA. "Kelly?"

"No, no I haven't. Why would they? Look, I'm going to set things straight. We didn't do as well as we wanted to at the last World Cup. Our wins recently haven't been as convincing as we would like and that Licentian defeat was a bad result. But you are barking up the wrong tree if you think me and the FA don't have the same vision."

"But Kelly, it's been in the press all week!"

"So fucking what?" The room was stunned into silence. "You are the Euran media, yes? While I'm not Euran I've been here long enough to know you, like the rest of this country and like myself, want the team to succeed. So why this bollocks, what is its purpose? You're undermining the confidence of the team and our ability to believe in ourselves with your gutter journalism. No-one is getting dropped, and I have a three year contract and the FA think I'm taking us in the right direction, so I won't be going anywhere and nor will my esteemed colleagues. We are only four games into qualifying, and tomorrow we will go out and we aim to give Eastfield Lodge a footballing lesson. Quite frankly, I've had enough shit from the media recently and so have the players. You know the squad is thin and not as experienced as previous teams, so how can you judge them? I remember back in the mid-fifties era of the World Cup when you were new to World Cup qualifying and that dream team with all those names - Humphrey, Thompson, Pizza - was still getting battered. They were doing worse than we are now. This is a golden age for Euran football, and you've let your expectations grow way out of check. If I come in here again and have my professional integrity and job security called into question by guttersnipes like you I'll cease media interaction, because you're a bloody disgrace. This is a really tough group but I am determined to get us out of it, and you are not helping so please kindly jog on, Mr Covey."

Silence once again. It seemed the ever cynical Euran media had been called out by the Silexheran legend. "Do you have any proper questions, or is that it?" Finally someone piped up.

"Hi, I'm Amy Allen, from the fanzine Five-Four-One. Can you give us any hints about what your team sheet will be tomorrow, Mr Sporadic? I know you said you'll keep the back four the same, but what about midfield?"

"Thank you, finally a proper bloody question. I'm not certain yet and I would have dodged this question if I was. We might rest Lee, he's tired and we don't want to risk him. You'll all be pleased to know that Nick Feeney's ankle is fine after that dirty shit Ruaraidh Donaldson took him out last week, but he won't be playing tomorrow. That's about it really, and you Ms Allen are welcome back any time. Fringe, you can fuck right off if you think you're getting near one of my press conferences again."

"I don't think its your place to say that, Kelly!" Fringe looked frustrated as he stood up and dropped his notes to the floor.

"I'm the manager. Are you? No, you're bloody nobody. I don't usually use strong words but this whole charade is stretching it. You're out, and so is your shoddy little radio station. You can come back Covey, but I expect better from you. Is there anything else, can we stop talking about that?" No-one stood up. "Good. I'll be back here, same time tomorrow for pre-match chat. Those of you who have been selected for interview know who you are and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. My colleague Mr Kallstrom will take over from here, I have a meeting to attend." Sporadic got up, shaking his head and muttering something under his breath as he confidently strode off the stage. He hadn't quite lost it, but he had sworn a few times and given the media a bit of a grilling they didn't expect. For the first time in a while, Mr Sporadic felt like the record was set straight.

[Vilita]

The Football Association of VIlita has announced its venues for the World Cup 65 Qualifying Campaign, likely the only chance for Vilita & Turori fans to watch the Jungle Cats within Atlantian Oceania. The World Cup Finals will be held in Saugeais and Pasarga, both within the regional confines of Rushmore.

Of course, the Jungle Cats Matchday 11 clash with Kinitaria will also be inside the region, played at the Central Stadium in Mi'ato. Vilita's World Cup 65 Qualifying campaign will start and end at the Tivali Ring Stadium with matches against low-ranked sides Kizzyboi on Matchday 1 and Arkolon on Matchday 18.

The Jungle Cats will visit 7 other stadiums in the Tropics including the newly re-designed Turoki Community Complex in Turoki City. Home of the Turoki Tide, former UICA Globe Cup and UICA Super Cup Champions, and Turoki United - the shared-use stadium has completed its renovation under the Kytleri architecture firm BNW Varin and will be thrust back into the realm of International Competition for the first time since the upgrade.

Matchday 1 v. Kizzyboi
Tivali Ring Stadium - Alikki-Corra, Vilita (87,000 Seated)
The Football Association of Vilita is based at the Tivali-Ring Stadium in the capital city of Alikki-Corra, Vilita and many National Team training sessions take place on the grounds of the Tivali Ring. The Football Association regularly schedule matches at arenas throughout Vilita, especially bigger matches as many of the stadiums that host Stellar Division and UICA competition matches have expanded far beyond the capacity of the National Stadium at Tivali Ring, which is used only for the National Team, and, for the Vilitan Cup Final and Tropical Trophy matchup. The stadium was constructed as part of the Vilitan bid to host the World Cup 14 Cup of Harmony as a replacement to the former National Stadium in Lopinka that was destroyed during a regional conflict.

Matchday 2. v. Kinitaria
Lonngeylin Coliseum - Lonngeylin, Vilita (115,500 Seated) - 141,000 Standing Room
The Coliseum is one of the oldest, but most expansive stadiums in Vilita. The Home of Vilitan club Strike FC, the stadium has undergone several renovations, name changes and expansions in its long history, which includes being a knockout venue for the World Cup 17 and 31 finals. The Coliseum is known for its unique hillside accommodation, boasts one of the most impressive match atmospheres in the region. Typically, only the home fans are allowed in the south and east areas, which include both hillside seating and open hillside that can accommodate an approximately 30,000 additional fans beyond the seated capacity - depending on how far away from the stadium they wish to prop themselves. Away fans are always seated in the west grandstand.

Matchday 4. v. Slembana
Turoki Community Complex - Turoki City, Vilita (100,000 Seated)
The capacity at the Turoki Community Complex has exploded since the rise of the Turoki Tide in the Vilitan Stellar Division as more fans demanded entry on matchday and international domestic competitions arrived for the UICA Globe Cup and UICA Super Cup champions. The actual seating capacity is now estimated at around 100,000 while the attendants claim they have let at least 125,000 through the gates in the past.



Matchday 6. v. Kalumba
Track Venture Field - Sile, Vilita (106,000 Seated)
Track Venture Field, home of two-time and reigning Vilitan Stellar Division Champions Makosile FC hosted one match during the World Cup 59 Finals, used as a local rotation stadium with Colonial Field to ensure that no team played 3 straight matches in the same arena. It is likely due to Makosile's V-League Championship that the older Track Venture Field was selected as the venue for the match against Kalumba and will be the second of two matches held on the Island of Turoki during World Cup 65 Qualifying.

Matchday 8. v. Lahoa
Lunar Park - Seraai, Vilita (129,000 Seated)
Lunar Park became the largest stadium in Vilita at the time of its construction. Although some stadiums have added poor quality seating to exceed the 129,000 capacity mark, Lunar Park offers quality seats all around the stadium, and onlookers sometimes get treated to events such as Rocket Launches and suborbital testing as the stadium was constructed by the Vilitan Space Program overlooking some of their active launch facilities. Lunar Park is the home of Vilitan side Eastal Lunar FC and hosted the final of the Cup of Harmony 50: Golden Edition, the final of the 26th Di Bradini Cup and a pair of UICA Series-B Champion's Cup - including the most recent contested between FC Solovetsky Monastery of the Polar Islandstates and East Railway of Astograth.



Matchday 11. @ Kinitaria
Central Stadium - Mi'ato, Kinitaria (76,000)
A purpose-built modern stadium in the centre of Kinitaria's capital, Mi'ato. The Central Stadium hosts all of Kinitaria's home matches. Visiting teams should note that a maximum of 6,000 tickets are made available to away supporters, with seats located in a segregated area in the top of the upper bowl. This is a prime location to throw things at the home fans, however, it's also a prime location to have things thrown back.



Matchday 12 v. Mashiki

Arcticala Electrical Stadium

Arcticala, Vilita (90,277 Seated)

The Arcticala Electrical Stadium was originally constructed during World Cup 34 but was not maintained for some time. When the Vilitan League resumed for Season 26, it was decided that Arcticala would resume play in their original home, the Inlet Stadium, where they continued to play all their league games through their Season 28 championship season. The Arcticala Electrical Stadium was re-opened during Season 28 and Arcticala Inlet used the stadium during their cup campaign which saw them advance to the final. and will host all Arcticala Inlet matches starting in Season 29. The refurbished 90,000+ seater stadium is one of the most advanced stadiums in the region with the funding of Vilita's biggest energy provider behind it, fully covering the exterior of the stadium with solar panels.



Matchday 14 v. Shadowbourne
National View Stadium - Morata Valley, Vilita (114,000 Seated)
National View Stadium was constructed with the goal of bringing World Cup matches to Morata Valley after the region missed out on hosting matches during World Cup 17. The home of Inland Peaks FC, National View Stadium, as the name would suggest, offers fantastic views of the Vilitan island and has viewing decks on the outside of the stadium at multiple levels. Originally constructed as a 42,000 All seater, the stadium has since expanded to 90,000, then to 114,000 seats with some additional capacity on the viewing decks.

Matchday 16 v. Torisakia
Lirai Asku Castle - Yeaddin, Vilita (62,000 Seated)This historical aged castle was converted into a sporting arena by the Yeaddin Owls who promised to pay for maintenance on the Castle Exterior while building their stadium against the vacant inner walls of the structure. Despite its relatively low capacity compared with other stadiums in the Tropics of Vilita, the atmosphere provided by the Lirai Asku Castle both inside and out makes it a popular choice to host international matches in World Cup, Cup of Harmony, Baptism of Fire and AOCAF competition.


Matchday 18 v. Arkolon
Tivali Ring Stadium - Alikki-Corra, Vilita (87,000 Seated)
The Jungle Cats will close out their World Cup 65 Qualifying Campaign at the Tivali Ring Stadium, hopefully in celebrations and a warm send off before the team goes off to Rushmore for the World Cup 65 Finals in Saugeais and Pasarga. However, should the Jungle Cats fail to take care of Kinitaria at the Central Stadium, it could be a much different story at the Tivali Ring Stadium on Matchday 18.

[Darmen]

"Next!"

A man wearing a dress walked in.

"Next!"

An old woman walked in.

"Much better, have a seat."

"Thanks."

"Name?"

"Geneva Traver."

"Miss or Misses?"

"Hit."

"Excuse me?"

"Misses."

"How old are you?"

"Sixty-three."

"You live here in the capital?"

"Yes I do. Within walking distance."

"Oh, good. Um, past work experience?"

"I worked at a bar for six years, then moved on to become a secretary at Scott City State. Been there for over forty years."

"What exactly did you do at this bar?"

"Um, I was a stripper."

"Good Lord. We just can't avoid people like you. NEXT!"

A young man walks in.

"Ever work at a bar?"

"Er... no?"

"You married?"

"Um... yes?"

"You the last applicant?"

"Yes sir, I am."

"Hired, you start tomorrow."

[Alexanderburn]

Alexanderburn 3-0 Kaznan
van der Pol (44'); Holierhoek (50', 80')
Borealia 2-3 Alexanderburn
van der Pol (38'); Frederiksen (39'); Rittenhouse (50')

Two successful wins against other opponents allows the ANFT to move up to fourth amidst B-team scandal

It's a big night here in Alexanderburn. The team is facing off against Valladares at home in Portsmouth's local arena tonight, and frankly the odds are in the opponents' favor. The last time these two teams meet was in the World Cup 56 qualifications, where the unranked and newly founded ANFT faced off a 27th-highest ranked Valladares and had a 0-1-1 record, drawing 1-1 at the away match and losing 1-2 at home.

"Those numbers prove that at this rate, at our current status, we can, should, and will beat Valladares!" exclaimed assistant coach Peter Mathiassen in a recent interview. "We have showed our prowess by pounding Kaznan 3-0 recently in Portsmouth and then having our B-team face off against Borealia in an away match that ended 2-3. We are very satisfied where our team is sitting at the moment, and we think that the blunders that we encountered earlier this tournament were simply that, blunders. We just had the wrong tactics with the wrong group of people who did not work together. That is what this sport is all about. Teamwork. This is football, for goodness sakes, not tennis."

Newspapers throughout Alexanderburn are agreeing with Mathiassen's statment, backing and supporting it by publishing his recent interview on the front page of the sports sections in most papers, while some are even allowing him to get major publicity by putting him on the front page.

However, this all comes after the scandal that rocked the team just four games ago, where Alexanderburn's supposed "B-team" failed to win either of the first two matches, that according to head coach William Kingsley, should have been "easy as pie". Kingsley declined to further his comments on the matter, other than those issued at the official post-match conference held on 21 June.

"We are moving past that," noted new team favorite Dale Moulton, the new 'world-class goalkeeper' according to former coach Calciorotti. "We have to show the world what we truly represent - clean, polished, and efficient football. We are truly renewing this sport not merely as the world's favorite pastime, but also as an art."

In the meanwhile, HM Royal Act 2 has recently failed to pass in parliament as conservatives claim that it "raises unnecessary taxes" while liberals believe that it "does not tax in the right places". A compromise has been drawn up by both coalitions that plans on reducing the national income tax burden on most citizens while adding a new wealth tax and creating a provincial income tax. Debates have arisen on whether or not it is necessary to change the VAT, with proposals ranging from a reduction to 4% to an increase to 15%, and just about everything in between. Conservatives oppose the addition of a VAT change to the bill, citing "economic harm" as a vital factor. Progressives and liberals both agree with their right-wing counterparts that the fundamental part of the bill should be putting the Alexanderburnese back to work by creating a stable economy. A recent recession has hit the country earlier this year that has brought the unemployment rate up to nearly 14% in recent months. The unemployment rate currently rests at 11.8%, up from a self reported 10.2% just two weeks ago.

Here is the official line-up as released earlier today on AX1's football network:

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn vs Valladares)

van der Pol / Massie
Frederiksen / Holierhoek (c) / Jameson
Fiedler / Collett
Doyle / Rittenhouse / Beller
Moulton

Modification: -2

Good luck Alexanderburn!

[Felix]

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: A Huge Win Against Kaznan!

By: Steven Smith

After that disappointing loss against St Lucoa at home Felix bounces back and they win big against the hapless Kaznan national team with a score of 1-6. That helps us in the standings a lot as we move up in the standings, mainly thanks to a Boring Paradise loss at Qazox by a score of 4-1 and close a win by Alexanderburn. We now are in third place by goal differential as three other teams have 7 points but have less than our +5 goal advantage. So now we are back to business and we will fly home to Felix to face off against same ranked as Kaznan, Borealia. We were third in our group when we lost against St Lucoa, will we have a déjà vu moment again? We will find out next month. Now, let’s recap our high scoring win against Kaznan.

Like the Felix-Falklandia match and the Felix-St Lucoa match, the Phoenix started out strong with all the gears going for the Felixian offense. The first goal came in the 7th minute with an amazing goal from Mikel Araboa. He intercepted the ball from the Kaznanese defender, he then ran across the box and shot, giving Felix the 1-0 lead. The next goal came 3 minutes later with a goal from Ziya Saqqaf from an assist from Sebastian Krister, Felix continues to score, 2-0 Felix. The third goal came in the 16th minute with a goal from Mikel Araboa from a great shot from the set piece after a foul by the Kaznanese defender. Free kick play and the ball simply when in great job Mikel, 3-0 Felix. And just before the halftime whistle was called Kaznan did a surprise goal and Felix ended the half with a two goal lead. 3-1.

In the second half things went from bad to worse for the poor Kaznan team as Felix quickly took back its three goal lead as substitute Simo Roni (in for Mikel Araboa) scored a fantastic goal in the 48th minute with another assist from Sebastian Krister. 4-1 Felix. In the 61st minute Felix increased their already commanding lead with a goal from Yun Dong Lee, the ball was stolen by Roni and he passed the ball right into Lee’s chest, Lee then kicked the ball into the net while the ball was in the middle of the air. 5-1 Felix, now the Kaznanese fans started filling out of their home stadium. And you would think that the continuing onslaught on the poor Kanzanese would end but you’d be wrong as even Sebastian Krister got into the action and scored a goal from a nice assist from Simo Roni in the 78th minute. Felix had the match in their hands for the rest of the match and ended the rout of a game with a 1-6 win.

The postgame news conference was a lot similar to the Felix-Falklandia match as many reporters questioned the type of win Felix had over their obviously less skilled opponents. Once again Daniel Cardona responded with the same response like the Falklandia match and brushed those questions off. Another question asked how Felix will fare against the same ranked Borealia, Cardona responded with this, “While I don’t expect a blowout win like today, I do expect to see Felix play excellent football and remain dominant in the pitch.” The last question before Mr. Cardona left was about the Valladares game that will happen in month from now he responded, “I don’t know, from what I seen so far is that the Valladarean team has some weakness and I will be training the boys to exploit that.” After that he left.

The Felixians will fly back home to Felix in Estadio Altomare where the capacity of 95,000 attendance will most likely be filled up and Felix will hope not to have a disappointing result like the St Lucoa match as before. In other related news, the Felix Champions League will be starting next week as fans all over the world will now start to watch how club football is played in Felix, will the two new teams, Northern Stars and Universidad de Santander, fare well in the increasingly competitive league? We will find that out next week. This was Steven Smith reporting from Kiznan, till next time.

As always here were the statistics for our fourth qualification match.

Goals
(7th): Mikel Araboa (FEL)
(10th): Ziya Saqqaf (FEL)
(16th): Mikel Araboa (FEL)
(44th): KAZ GOAL (KAZ)
(48th): Simo Roni (FEL)
(61st): Yun Dong Lee (FEL)
(78th): Sebastian Krister (FEL)
Assists
(10th): Sebastian Krister (FEL)
(48th): Sebastian Krister (FEL)
(78th): Simo Roni (FEL)
Possession
KAZ: 40%
FEL: 60%
Fouls
KAZ: 13
FEL: 5
Cards
Yellow: N/A
Red: N/A
Injuries
N/A

Now here are the statistics for the qualifiers so far.

Goals
Mikel Araboa (4)
Yun Dong Lee (3)
Ziya Saqqaf (2)
Simo Roni (1)
Sebastian Krister (1)
Assists
Sebastian Krister (3)
Simo Roni (1)
Clean Sheets
N/A
Yellow Cards
N/A
Red Cards
N/A
Injury List
Manolo Espina (OUT FOR 1 MONTH)

-----

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: A Talk With Taijanese Players

By: Steven Smith

While I was heading home with the Felixian team I had a chance to talk with some players from the national team of Taijan before we play them in a friendly. While the three players (Chris Nguyen, Nuno Brotz, and Cormac Danielson) have yet to play for an international World Cup Committee sanctioned match they look to be a talented group of lads. Here is the small interview I had with the three men.

Steven Smith: "So Mr. Nguyen, what do you think about Felix's journey in the qualifications for World Cup 65, so far?"
Chris Nguyen: "It seems like it's been really tough out there, not necessarily in terms of the competition, but just the pressure. I mean, I've obviously never played on that level, so I can't even imagine what's going on with those guys, but it seems like it's been a bumpy ride--a lot of big wins and some really tough losses and draws. I've been following that group pretty closely, with them and Boring Paradise, and I just can't imagine being in that situation, with that much on the line."
Smith: "Ah, I remember your association has not entered any WCC sanctioned events. Will they?"
Nuno Brotz: "I certainly hope so. We've come a long way as a team in these friendlies, and the association itself is maturing to a point that I don't see why they would keep us out. I'd like to see us in the next Baptism, but obviously that's not my decision."
Smith: "Of course, of course. I would love to report on your progress in the BoF, if your team gets there." I clear my throat, "Are you three interested in playing football in Felix, if presented the opportunity?"
Cormac Danielson: "That's a tricky subject, since by law, players that do go overseas can't be capped by Taijan. I think they're going to make an exception for loans less than a year, but for right now, our hands are kind of tied."
Smith: "Ah, I see. Sad. Maybe things can change in the future."
"Last question, Mr. Nguyen, do you think Felix will beat your team in today's friendly?"
Nguyen: "Tough to say. Felix has had quite a qualifying run, and I feel like they've got momentum on their side. I'm not going to say one way or the other lest it be used against me in court of law,” He laughs, “but it should be a solid show."
Smith: "Good words. Okay, pleasure talking to you boys. Good luck on the game against Felix and I hope we can talk again sometime in the future."
Nguyen: “Thank you, see you later Mr. Smith.”
Brotz: “Of course, goodbye.
Danielson: “Bye, Mr. Smith.

The three men seemed very well educated and looked like to be a perfect group of men that would play in the Champions League, hopefully the laws change and they can play for our teams. We will still play against Borealia in three weeks, wish Felix luck and hopefully we can pull off a win. We will also face Taijan the week before and hopefully we can us that match too. Until next week!

[Maklohi Vai]

OOC: Short on time, so a little shorter today.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The coach marched into his office, Umo Munulowai and Luto Omapai trailing closely.

"I am incredibly disappointed in both of you! Your conduct is entirely unbecoming to a football player representing Maklohi Vai, and you should both be ashamed of yourselves!"

"THIS MOTHERFUCKER PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING BIGOT, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!"

"SHUT THE FU----"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP OR I'M CALLING SECURITY!" The coach stared, livid.

"Now both of you are going to be suspended for the DMIVC and I'm going to contact the FA about your other punishment."

"Fucking ridiculous! Am I not allowed to express my beliefs? Fucking freedom of speech."

"Assholes don't get that freedom."

"SHUT YOUR MAINER* PIEHOLE!"

"That's it, I'm calling security." *dials* "Hello, security. My office. Two players need to leave."

"PUT THAT SHIT AWAY! I DID NOT DO ANYTHING!"

"You violated the team contract which prohibits slander or racist remarks."

"I'M GONNA FUCKING SUE YOU BOTH. BOTH OF YOU!"

"Oh please, Luto, don't get all American on us. We don't need that capitalist crap here."

The security men arrived silently, took a quick glance at the coach, and then bear hugged both of the players from behind.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"

"Hey, hey, hey. Stop it, stop it."

"Take them to somewhere where they can be alone."

"Yessir," the security men answered, and the promptly left, still holding the players.

"What a fucking day."

---

"Klaus, you feeling ok?

"Yeah, yeah. I, uh, just need to play to clear my mind."

"Ok, that sounds good. Sorry about Luto."

"Thanks. Hey, let's just play. That's how I have to get over it."

*A pejorative term for someone from the main island.

[Lymantatia]

Farfadillis 4–1 Lymantatia
Posted at 9:00pm 2013 June 22 - Lymantatia has lost again! We lost to Farf 1-4.
Goalscorers
40 mins - Sylvius Johnson (Lymantatia)
24 mins - Sê Mêrí (Farfadillis)
61 mins - Sê Mêrí (Farfadillis)
76 mins - Sê Mêrí (Farfadillis)
89 mins - Sê Mêrí (Farfadillis)
Current Statistics
Average number of time of goals: 40 minutes
Average number of time of goals by other teams: 50 minutes
Most goals by person on Lymantatia's team: Jacques Bressler (3)
Comments
Less than a minute ago - No, since there will soon be a game against New Lowerlands.
1 minute ago - Does it get worse?
2 minutes ago - I thought so.
2 minutes ago - Oh.
3 minutes ago - We lost to Farf.
IC Time is 9:00pm 2013 June 23

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Gazzette

Mangolana Manager Arch McTash leaving?

Mangolana manager and long time Skyline United Manager Arch McTash has announced that he will be leaving his post at the conclusion of the 65th World Cup. McTash has also stated that he would continue as Mangolana manager should the team fail to make the World Cup but qualify for an invite to the Cup of Harmony, which the team has done every time they have failed to qualify for the World Cup. The shocking news comes in the wake of Mangolana's home win vs Tyrrin and away draw at Punum. McTash did state that he was offered an extension by the Mangolana Soccer Association but decided to decline the offer. McTash has stated in the past that he would like to manage a national or domestic team else where in the World, but has also stated that he wished to remain in Rushmore and be close to his homeland. The news broke shortly after the teams return flight from Punum that McTash had discussed on the flight with the team that this would be his last World Cup with the national team. A source also stated that the scene was very emotional and included many tears shed by the team. With the news breaking, it also appears that Mangolana assistant manager Drummer Riley would also not be returning as the assistant manager or manager of the national team in the next qualifying cycle. "The Association as a whole will be exploring the multi-universe for the next manager of the national team. We will search both the world, hidden world and domestically for a manager who can lead the nation and bring us one day back to the World Cup."

Manager Arch McTash first joined the national team as an assistant manager during World Cup 60 qualifying under then manager Mikael Svensson. The team made the World cup in his debut and was knocked out in the Group Stage. McTash returned to the national team following their succession from the world and isolation reversal by then president Muse to lead the team as their manager. Prior to joining the national team, McTash manned the helm at Skyline United, leading them to 4 league titles in 5 tries. During that time, he interviewed for national and domestic team jobs at many top league nations but was not hired. He will again begin his job search with the hope of joining a national team for a top 100 ranked nation and leading them to a World Cup title one day, though, McTash does wish to remain in Rushmore to be close to home, but will not rule out leaving for the right job. The Mangolana soccer association will also be looking for managers throughout the world who can take the helm as the Mangolana manager, but will also be taking applicants for the job, from any intrested party.

((OCC: If Intrested in Hiring Arch McTash send TG with info about national team and rank. Applicants for Mangolana national team job should also be sent to Mangolana via TG with info about applicant including playing style, previous expierience and any relative information about him.))

[Kiryu-shi]

The pool of golden liquid grew on the floor, gliding down seams, looking for cracks, finding ways to go down, sink, each drop competing with the next to disappear from Reah’s gaze.

The now near-empty bottle gently settled into place after a few nervous moments of threatening to join its previous inhabitants by Reah’s feet. She was grateful for it’s inclination to stay on her table, she didn’t want to deal with shards of glass considering her recently demonstrated inability to coordinate what might be considered basic actions, like reaching out to grab a glass bottle.

She wondered if she’d remember this tomorrow, or if she’d wake up to a fun project to take care of before she got to packing for Soviet Canuckistan.

Yet another week, another team, another opportunity for public humiliation.




She looked away from the mesmerizing display, the shimmering liquids now encroaching upon her toes, and attempted to focus her eyes on the newspapers covering her desk. They had laid out there for the past few days, ever since the morning after the Cassadaigua match. She wasn’t quite able to read them now, not in this state, but she had committed the headlines to memory within an hour of waking that morning. No liquid could drown them out.

There was the one article critiquing the esteemed Multi-verse wide ranking system, establishing that the parameters for having the Kiri ranked 25th in the world were completely outlandish.

Another wondering exactly who was supposed to be playing midfield for the Kiri. The first half… It was pathetic, watching those young men and women she had chosen herself try to take on the Dagans. The first goal was a blow of mercy for Reah, an excuse to throw out three new faces at half-time, three faces that so many people had thought more deserving to begin with. Not that any of the three had been effective either, but they didn’t look as hopeless, at the very least.

But those were the predictable ones. Common complaints over the past three years, she had heard those points and rebutted them for so long…

But the ones that hurt… Concessions from Sakaino University that, if this was the best the nation could accomplish, that perhaps the national football program was not worth keeping.

A lamentation from her own alma mater, Umeda University, decrying the process that brought Reah to the national team, evoking her very presence as a sign of the crumbling ability for the nation to function.

A proposal from Kasakake University to shut down all media regarding the World Cup qualification campaign, citing low turnout and low television viewership.

And worst of all, the unattributed editorial. Written in that familiar style, the inimitable syntax. A call for the leadership of the national football program to rise up to the occasion and take hold of its own future. A call for hope, a invocation of the national unity that grasped Kiryu-shi not so long ago. In recognition of the fact that this team could still come together, grow, take this early failings and transform them into something to be proud of. Not a critical word was written of Reah in that article; she knew that would be the case from the moment she read the first sentence.

But it was that article she was trying to push from her mind most of all.




She reached for the bottle again, a little more carefully this time. It wasn’t empty yet. It would be soon, she knew, but no matter. The sooner it was empty the sooner she could escape those words.

[Kinitaria]

A History of Kinitar Football in Eighteen Objects
Four: The money

The plan worked. The league system had been successfully introduced to Kinitaria, attracting bumper crowds and giving the nation’s leading clubs regular competition. The clubs in the north, although they weren’t permitted to join the booming Alliance, were also planning to form their own league for the 3356 season, giving the same benefits to their own clubs. And yet, a spectre was haunting Kinitar football. That of clubs paying their players – the dreaded concept of professionalism. This would go hand-in-hand with the newly-forming northern competition, as the Federation discovered how difficult it was to manage a competition that was, by nature, outside of its control.

Milo Nikov was the president of Tirinthea, possibly the most prominent northern club at the time. His vision was for an organised football league along the same lines as the Alliance, but he encountered a problem when trying to find clubs to join. Specifically, finding northern clubs of a high standard proved to be very difficult, owing to the isolated nature of much of the north. This mountainous, sparsely populated region, traditionally cut off from the hustle and bustle of the market traders in the south, didn’t lend itself very well to producing fantastic football clubs. Eventually, though, eight clubs – Tirinthea, Paleu, Rexitova, Kasmenai, Nordhaven, Seliste, Bluveld and Litora – signed up for the first season of the new “Northern League”. It was the last of these clubs which caused considerable feather-rustling for the Alliance, because Litora was – at least, by them – considered a southern city. Litora themselves were only too happy to accept the invitation to the Northern League, with a club statement saying that “the Club is satisfied that the intentions of the Northern League are beneficial to the development of football and to the greater interests of the Litora Sporting Association”. Plus, they may have been slightly bitter over the decision to leave them out of the Alliance, and there was nothing the southern clubs could do about it anyway.

So, as Damaciu were celebrating their inaugural league championship, discussion turned to a possible expansion of the league. More clubs wanted to enter, including two university clubs (from Mi’ato and Serenberg), but these applications were rejected owing to a league rule that stated that only one club from each city was permitted membership of the Alliance. Eventually, there were six valid applications, and at an end-of-season meeting, the Alliance governing board decided that the member clubs would be allowed to vote on which of the new applicants they wished to enter the league. The two clubs receiving the most votes would be admitted to the league, expanding it to 14 teams for the upcoming season. The concept of relegation was not present at the time, and wouldn’t be introduced for a few years yet. Eventually, Karzuli and Isla Rosa got the nod, paving the way for the 3356 Alliance season to begin. And that’s when the problems started to emerge.

Allegations were made by an unnamed source that Fojvalva, who had finished second in the inaugural Alliance season, had been paying their players. An investigation revealed that some Fojvalva players had been paid up to 150 hirin (5 NSD) per match for their services. This was a huge sum of money at the time, and the league prepared to impose sanctions against the club, until Fojvalva objected to this on the ground that paying their players wasn’t actually against Alliance regulations. This turned out to be true, on further inspection, and so Fojvalva were spared any punishment. A notable amendment was made to the league regulations, however, which read as follows: No member Club shall be permitted to pay their players a wage. Very simple, but it would be the cause of so many arguments and so much hostility over the coming years. The Northern League also imposed a specific ban on professionalism, but took care to include a specific exception for the purposes of players’ travel expenses. This is also something which would blow up in their faces later.

Both leagues having their respective professionalism problems to sort out, attention mostly turned to the Northern League at this point. Observers were curious to see how the new competition would perform in relation to its southern counterpart, especially given that it had a perceived lower quality of teams, and fewer fixtures. (The Northern League teams would actually play each other three times a season to make up for this, but there were some qualms about even this amongst the member clubs. Nevertheless, it was seen as the best solution in such a small league.) As predicted, it was Tirinthea who quickly shot to the top, winning their first four games, including a 10-0 victory against the rank underdogs of AC Seliste. Critics were already writing off the Northern League as Nikov’s pet project, to boost the reputation of his Tirinthea team, but they were ignoring the performances of Litora and Paleu, two other teams who were aggrieved at being left out of the Alliance and who were determined to make up for it by means of strong performances in the Northern League.

The Federation Cup was still progressing as normal, and this is where yet more problems flared up. Litora were charged by the Federation for fielding an ineligible player – striker Lehan Kuzinov – in their second round clash with Serenberg, which they won, 3-1, with Kuzinov scoring one of the goals. Litora argued that they had been playing Kuzinov in Northern League games all season, and there had never been any problems. Upon further investigation, the extent of the problem was discovered. The Federation did not officially recognise the Northern League, and both organisations had different rules for registering players. The League demanded recognition from the Federation, and proposed negotiations to begin immediately, but these would break down after a promising start. As for Litora, it was decided to replay their second round clash, but with Kuzinov not being allowed to play this time. He didn’t, and Litora lost 4-2, causing Litora to complain bitterly to both the Federation and the Northern League, but these protests were rejected and Serenberg progressed to the next round.

Back in the Northern League, Tirinthea were making short work of any opposition that came up to them. Having won their first nine consecutive games, including a 4-1 victory over Paleu, their main early title rivals, they suffered their first setback as they went down 3-2 to Seliste, the same team they’d put ten past early on. Maybe it wasn’t going to be as easy as they thought. It seemed as though this was only a roadbump, and then, money reared its ugly head once more. Allegations surfaced that Tirinthea had been paying their players far in excess of what they were allowed under the Northern League’s “travel expenses” exemption. The club, naturally, denied this, and the Northern League ordered a full audit of the club’s finances. This would not be completed for a while (bureaucracy was as bad then as it is now), and so, the league season continued as normal while that investigation was taking place. A few months later, with the season just a few games from its end, the league announced its findings: Tirinthea could only be proven to be paying two players over the odds, and both of those players were down in the club’s records as living some 700 miles away, in the national capital of Mi’ato. While they almost certainly did not, there was nothing the League could do about it, except write further exemptions into their rules.

Professionalism was a dirty word, and it wasn’t long before other clubs realised they could jeopardise their rivals by accusing them of making under-the-counter payments to their players. Of the fourteen clubs in the Alliance that season, nine were officially investigated by the league’s governing body with regards to allegations of illegal payments to players. Of these, only one – newly-admitted Isla Rosa – were found to be doing anything wrong, and were promptly deducted five points and given a 1,000 hirin (32 NSD) fine for their efforts. The Alliance decided to step in at this point and announce that all further investigations of professionalism would be handled solely by the organisation, and weren’t for other clubs to make baseless accusations. This had the effect of reducing the mud-slinging, but also meant that many leads on professionalism went unfollowed until the practice was legalised much later.

With the allegations of professionalism quietened down, it was time to focus on the football. Damaciu had not enjoyed a good second season, and a damaging run in the second half of the season had fixed them firmly in mid-table. The new title contenders were the expected duo of Mi’ato and Serenberg, and somewhat unexpectedly, Čilibeni, who had finished second from bottom the previous season, but had put together a series of wins against the country’s top teams to leave themselves second going into the title run-in. Interest in the league continued to grow, with 35 to 40 thousand spectators showing up to some of the key matches in the race for the title, which was eventually won by Serenberg, after they saw off Mi’ato 3-0 in the penultimate round to send themselves three points clear with only two to play for. The race for the Northern League title, meanwhile, was won by Tirinthea, in a move which surprised absolutely no-one, but it wasn’t as easy as many people had predicted. Litora pushed the eventual champions all the way, and it was only with a 2-1 victory in the final game between the two contenders that Tirinthea managed to seal the title.

The Federation, seeking to build bridges between the two warring leagues, extended an invitation to both Tirinthea and Serenberg to compete in a one-off match which would be regarded as a sort of national championship, but this was turned down by both teams. Tirinthea were not prepared to co-operate with an organisation they saw as in league with the southern teams and the Alliance, while Serenberg didn’t see the point, having defeated Tirinthea 2-0 in their Federation Cup semi-final. Serenberg would go on to beat Litora 3-1 in the final, laying claim to be Kinitaria’s first ever double winners.

Meanwhile, the debate over paying players raged on for months, which soon turned into years. In 3359, with the national game none the better for these constant accusations – and teams constantly finding ways to subvert the existing rules – the Northern League board gave in, announcing that from the 3360 season, it would be legal for clubs to pay their players, so long as they did not surpass a maximum wage of 600 hirin (20 NSD) during the course of the season, and 400 hirin during the close season. It was a move which would only serve to heighten tensions between the Northern League and the Alliance, which remained stubbornly against professionalism in all its forms. The Federation, having moved away from such a strong pro-Alliance position in the intervening seasons to become more of a mediator between the two warring leagues, was left in a hopeless position, unable to do anything to calm the crisis. But it had the effect the northern side wanted. Some of the country’s best players were tempted to join leading northern clubs, attracted by the allure of legal wages. This did nothing to sway the management of the Alliance, who slammed the northern clubs for abandoning the principles of football in pursuit of a quick profit.

But money was about to influence the game in ways no-one could have predicted. Paying players was one thing, but it wasn’t long before the clubs realised that there were thirty to forty thousand paying spectators demanding entrance to almost every game in the league calendar. Surely, an astute businessman would have thought, there is money to be made from them. And one pioneering individual was about to change the face of Kinitar football for good.

[Beaverriver]

"The ball is loose!" said Levi Elias.
Juilo Stager and a Telnaior defender ran towards the ball in the attempt to win it. The defender started to do a slide tackle on the ball when Juilo just got the ball. The defender knocked down Juilo with heavy force. Juilo fell and immediately grabbed his shin. The referee whistled and went over to Juilo.
"I need a medical personal here immediately!" Juilo yelled with intense pain. Guis and a Telnaior Midfielder immediately waved for the athletic trainer. Henry Subtle, the athletic trainer notice and informed fellow atletic Trainer Ted Ingot and both of them rush over to Juilo. The referee showed a yellow card to the Telnaior defender. The crowd remain quiet while Juilo was getting treated. Near the bench Zach Heckinson told Herman Shelt to start warming up. Juilo Stager was put on a strecher and carried over the sideline. Herman who was done warming up went over to the fourth official to inform them of a substitution that was going to happen. The Crowd clapped as Juilo made it onto the sidelines and Herman was subbed into the match. It was going to be a direct free kick for Beaverriver that would be taken by Guis Borduall. The referee blew his whistle and Guis Takes off and smashes the ball under the jumping wall and passed a very surprised goalkeeper and into the back of the net. 1-0 Beaverriver in the 64th minute.

[Falconwhereveryouare]

The Eagle's Eye
Not a tabloid!
SPORTS
BloodRidge Racer

By Otis Birmingham

Well, whaddya know? Turns out everyone's favorite badboy striker has a penchant for street racing. And, finally in a country where cars aren't banned, Zdenko Aleshire couldn't control his urges. Like always. He'll be spending the night in a local Bloodridge jail cell, and starting in his place was the red-hot Spyridon Jovanovich.

When asked why the team didn't make an effort to get Aleshire out for the game, manager David Radic had this to say: "He needs to step up his play if he wants the team to cover his bail. Plus, the Bloodridge officials are demanding a ridiculous figure to bail a man who only has to serve three days in a county jail. I'm hoping spending some time in the slammer will scare him straight--after all, rascals like him don't get that kind of reprimand in Falconwhereveryouare."

Now, Bloodridge is a rather inexperienced team, but it was still a rather flimsy performance all-around. Almost to the point of being an insult to professional football. Some thought it was odd when José Abelló ran straight to the Bloodridge goal and blasted one in immediately after the initial kick-off. They then thought Bloodridge might be well out of their depth when Stanislava Hertz wrassled the ball off of a Bloodridge striker shortly after the resulting kick-off, while still in Bloodridge's half. They thought it was getting silly when she passed it up to Jovanovich without any interference, Jovanovich gently sauntered into the box, and smashed it past the keeper. It was abundantly clear that the game was over when Jovanovich intercepted what may go down as the laziest pass in international football history, ran down the wing, and headed in his own cross. Yes, the Helving striker lobbed the ball high into the air and sprinted for the box, making it in time to jump and meet the same ball he had just kicked. And the Bloodridge keeper was in no position to get in the way of the header. Barely ten minutes in and it was clear the Falcons had this game in the bag.

Radic saw fit to rest some of his better players. "Why risk someone pulling something in a blowout?" he justified, "Aukusti [Regenbogen] is notoriously injury-prone, as all the fans in Marriet should know. Turns out he missed damn near the entire Primary league season last year, and that's what the internet blames for Marriet dropping so far in the standings. I'd much rather get Dennis [Key] some playing time, so his old bones don't seize up like mine have."

Other changes saw Hertz and Jovanovich coming off in favor of Ulrika Ingesson and Palmer Winters, bringing the Falcons into a 5-4-1 formation for the first time in the team's history. With Abelló seemingly satisfied with his early goal and the number of defenders on the field, the Falcons were content to spend the rest of the game passing the ball around in their half. The Bloodridge squad clumsily beat out a few chances, but never really made Chris Lockwood sweat.

Falconwhereveryouare - 3
José Abelló, 1'
Spyridon Jovanovich, 3', 9'
Bloodridge - 0

[Gaveo]

The Gaveoan Times

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: We Win Again!

Yep, a football used in the 4-0 win.

By: Beni Cortez

Gaveo won today against Querria 4 goal to nil as Santiago Rojas and Sebastian Cadiz each scored one goal. The winning team was grateful that they won like this as they move up the standing and are currently in third place in the standings with Jeruselem and Beaverriver ahead of the Gaveoan team. The first half was Gaveoan dominated as the Golden Eagles scored 2 goals, one in the 18th minute with a strike from Rojas and the second one by Rojas again in ten minutes later in the 28th minute. Gaveo lead in the half, two goals to nil.

The second half was a continuation of Gaveoan dominance as Gaveo scored again in the 48th minute by Sebastian Cadiz, after heading the ball in from a remarkable corner from Bru Yo Chan. The second goal from Cadiz and the fourth one overall was scored in the 80th minute as Cadiz dribbled his way pass the defenders and scored the goal that gave us the end of time score line.

After the game Coach Villaroel was satisfied with the comfortable win they had today, stating that Gaveo played a solid match with passing and shooting at a all time high he hasn't seen since the last World Cup Qualifiers. Villaroel was also asked about the upcoming match against first seeded and 21st ranked Mytannion, while they have struggled as of late they still prove to be a dangerous team the sixty two year old Villaroel stated and it will be a hard match to win. Hopefully the boys win Villaroel said and so do we at the Gaveoan Times we will be playing them at El Estadio Nacional, good luck to our players and go Gaveo!

[Ancharmunn]

'W'HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!'

The ironic jeers and the inevitable grown men in replica shirts worn over their jumpers standing up and stretching out their arms began almost as soon as the ball left Dariusz Kaczka's foot. Or to describe the attempted shot more accurately, the moment it sliced off the side of his ankle and back from where it came rather than towards the game. It was a moment that summed up Kaczka's performance so far.

Finally, having had to sit on the bench and watch on for the majority of the opening three matches Kaczka's match-winning cameo against Tasrailia had seen him installed into the starting line-up for the trip to Vakolic. It was exactly the opportunity that Kaczka needed to prove himself as Ancharmunn's best striker, as the deserved wearer of the number nine shirt. Instead it all went horribly wrong. With his team-mates seemingly intent on making sure that Piaras Ó Flannagáín instead got the ball, no matter how badly positioned, Kaczka had a mighty struggle to even get into the game. Even on those occasions where he was able to fashion at least half a chance, he'd only go and cock it up. In many ways his performance was only making Shaun Murray's horror against Tasrailia look mildly decent.

It was then no surprise to anyone within the stadium then when at the next break in play an Ancharmunn substitute appeared on the touchline, with the fourth official holding up a number nine to indicate Kaczka's imminent departure. Trudging off the pitch Kaczka gave his replacement, Cormac Power merely a half-hearted slap on the back by way of encouragement. He had no intention however of acknowledging the presence of manager Éibhear Mac Dónaill, glaring on the touchline. Mac Dónaill however was making sure he was going to have his say.

“That was bloody rubbish Dari...”

The forlorn striker however was having none of it and before Mac Dónaill could even finish his rant he'd been shoved to the ground.

“Piss off you useless langer, you couldn't manage a piss up in Aleshire let alone a sodding football team.”

With that Dariusz Kaczka was storming off down the tunnel and would be well out of the ground and on route to the airport for a trip home on his own before the final-whistle had even blown to confirm a 2-1 Ancharmunn win courtesy of goals from Oscar Collins and, almost gallingly, Cormac Power. Any hope Kaczka had of even being invited into the squad let alone a place on the bench for the next qualifier, a home match against Jeru FC were well and truly down the drain.

[New Montreal States]

VAPOREONS' BLIZZARD KNOCKS OUT PALADINS

"Upcoming nail-biter against Timfen" aren't words anyone thought they would hear during this campaign

NEW MONTREAL - Northern Sunrise Islands tore through the Paladin Dome like a Hydro Pump upside the heads of an unprepared Paladins' side.

After conceding an early goal on an Amelio Quagliata, Jr. free kick from just outside the box that was too Swift for Vaporeon keeper Trent Millard to handle, the Vaporeons took control of the game in front of a stunned Paladin Dome crowd. The Vaporons, sporting some flashy new jerseys, had the chops to match.

Christie Travis picked up an equalizer with a heads-up play, tipping in a rebounded shot from Iau Mangalonga as Desrosiers made the save but his defense couldn't pick up the clearance. Things went from bad to worse, as Mathieu Thion-Bartel got booked in the penalty box when his Tackle on Namine Nagatomo turned into a Body Slam. It was a complete Selfdestruction by the Paladins back line, who could only argue with the referee while Harley Smith converted the penalty for a shock 2-1 lead.

As an apopletic André Vaillancourt-Bosquet watched his team flail around, run out of moves, and then struggle, the holes in the defensive backfield grew larger and larger. Antoine Boyer lost his nerve after conceding the equalizer, and had to be replaced by Isidore Lorimier, who couldn't keep up with the Quick Attack of the younger Vaporeons. Lorimier looked like he was breathing Smog after fifteen minutes on the pitch, and John Powell Hughes was forced to Reduce his role in the offense to Protect the back end of the field.

Although NSI had mostly parked the bus after their second goal, they were able to pick up an insurance score when Mateus Carvalho arced a lazy shot from just outside the box. Pierre Desrosiers misjudged it's trajectory and was helpless to stop it when it curved back towards the goal, off the right post and in to the back of the net. The night was over for the Paladins then, as silent and dejected fans headed for the exits early, a rarity in New Montreal.

An early exit might also be in the cards for manager André Vaillancourt-Bosquet if he can't get the defense sorted out quickly. Early reports are that Boyer, Lorimier and Thion-Bartel may all find themselves replaced, a rarity for a Paladins organization that values stability for that some of their foreign counterparts. After finding themselves the victims of yet another coming-out party by an upstart Esportivan side, though, the Minister of Morale might find itself with no choice but to start cleaning house.

[Saugeais]

Hello! May I come in? It's time for a cutoff!

Scores

[Neo Lemmitania]

Folks, this is Shemp Wooley, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, talking to you today about that wonderful product from the Electric Lemming Corporation, the LemmingDogger. Now, I know there have been a lot of negative stories in the press lately about LemmingDoggers jamming, and spewing ground lemming all over the ceiling, and malfunctioning and sucking small dogs and short people into the grinder. But I’m here to tell you that the crack safety team at ELC has recalled over twenty LemmingDoggers and has not found a single one that could be induced to harm a hair on my granny’s head. So I’m pleading with you to ignore all the libelous scandal-mongering press and remember that LemmingDoggers are the safest, more efficient way to grind whole live lemmings into food. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t sell ‘em(tm).

Gil: You call that convincing, Shemp?

Shemp: Shut up, Lemson. You wouldn‘t even be here if your contract didn’t require it.

Gil: ‘ear, ‘ear. I ‘ad to cut me vacation short to get back for this ‘orrorshow.

Shemp: Oh, were you on vacation? Good, I hope you were seriously inconvenienced.

Gil: Oh, now, that ain’t nice. An’ it weren’t such a big inconvenience, I was only over in Audioslavia.

Shemp: Audioslavia? Why the hell would you go there?

Gil: It’s close, an’ I like the music. Where do you go on vacation, Shemp?

Shemp: Usually someplace with pristine beaches and clear blue water.

Gil: Oh, like Lemco City.

Shemp: No, nothing like Lemco City. Like the opposite of Lemco City, in fact.

Gil: Don’t badmouth Lemco City, Shemp. You don’t wanna get on the wrong side of the Lemconders.

Shemp: I’m not badmouthing Lemco City. What did I say that’s badmouthing Lemco City?

Gil: You said someplace with pristine beaches an’ blue water is the opposite of it.

Shemp: Well, Lemco City has no beaches or clear blue water, has it?

Gil: Not as such. But that don’t mean you shouldn’t go on vacation there.

Shemp: Yes. Yes, it does. It means precisely that. Because I like to vacation on pristine beaches with clear blue water.

Gil: Wull, not everyone likes that.

Shemp: No, but I do!

Gil: Some of us like muddy brown rivers an’ rottin’ fishing quays on the lakefront.

Shemp: Then some of you should vacation in Lemco City.

Gil: Not very exotic, though. That bein’ me ‘ometown.

Shemp: Great! What are we talking about this for?

Gil: I dunno. You brought it up.

Shemp: Grr.

Gil: Wot’s your eyelid twitchin’ like that for?

Shemp: ...We are here to discuss the World Cup qualifying match that took place yesterday, Lemson. Can we possibly do that?

Gil: I ain’t stoppin’ us.

Shemp: Did you see the game?

Gil: Wh--

Shemp: If you ask which game I’m talking about, I will throttle you! I will ask again: did you see the game?

Gil: Mebbe.

Shemp: It’s a yes or no question! There is no maybe!

Gil: Wull... seein’ as I’m not sure wot game you’re askin’ me did I see, I can’t ‘ardly answer ‘yes’ nor ‘no’ to your question, can I?

Shemp: I just told you that we’re here to talk about the World Cup qualifying match!

Gil: Which match do you mean, though? The one against the eels, or the one against Brazillic-- er-- the River guys?

Shemp: The one LAST NIGHT!! Against the Pazhujeb Islands!

Gil: Oh, that match. Did that take place already?

Shemp: Gah-- you-- Grr.

Gil: Again with the eyelid. That’s a neat trick, Shemp. Is it something they teach you when they make you Dean of Sports?

Shemp: You don’t talk anymore.

Gil: But--

Shemp: Just shut up!

Gil: Wull, okay.

Shemp: Last night the Lemmings travelled to the Pazhujeb Islands for the fifth match of the World Cup qualifiers. This was the weakest opponent we’ve faced so far, although coming into the match they are ranked a good deal higher than our side. But considering the good fortune the Lemmings have met so far, feelings were generally hopeful going in. I talked to Coach Lemster before the game, and he told me that the way things are going, they’re actually hoping to make the playoffs.

Gil: Wot playoffs?

Shemp: I said shut up! The Lemmings came on strong in the first half, rewarding his confidence, with Bingson and Roger Rosco each getting a goal.

Gil: You know wot you sound like when you relate it like that?

Shemp: SHUT! UP!

Gil: You sound like a newspaper.

Shemp: Arrgh! A newspaper DOESN’T MAKE ANY SOUND, Lemson!

Gil: I mean you sound like you’re reading a newspaper, Shemp.

Shemp: Bingsongotanothersecondhalfgoalandtheygotonesowewonthreetoone! Now we’re breaking for messages and returning WITHOUT LEMSON!

Gil: Long as I get paid, great.

[Qazox]

Unknown location, Estope-

Just when we pull ourselves out of the self-doubt about the Wolves, they dunk our heads back into the muck of despair. A 2-0 loss at Estope has allowed the rest of the group to close in on Qazox. A rare penalty kick allowed by Wood, who had stopped 7 of 9 previous attempts against her; coupled with poor back line play doomed the effort of Qazox.

Perhaps jumping onto the bandwagon just 22% of the way into qualifying was premature; but with the poor starts of the last couple campaigns, it was inevitable that there would be. Alexanderburn comes to New Bruxen Hotel and Casino Field as Qazox seeks to regain its winning ways.


GOALS:
Estope- 56'
Estope- 75' (penalty)

[Saintland]

Royal Square Garden, St. Petrus, Saintland

Prince Andreas - Next, we will hear from Iulietta Perquitienus of Cantus Virginum. As Miss Perquitienus is not fluent in English, I will translate for her.

Iulietta Perquitienus walked out onto the stage. She looked to be around 15 years old, although she was actually slightly older. She stood at a podium and began to read off a teleprompter, although the audience did not realize this.

Iulietta Perquitienus - I have been asked to demonstrate Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland's new interactive music simulation. This simulation is endorsed by Cantus Virginum. It will provide our fans with the opportunity to sing along to our music using the microphone feature.

Iulietta touched the icon for Karaoke: Cantus Virginum version to load it as Prince Andreas translated for her. After flashing a RCES logo, the title screen came up and Iulietta touched the screen. She was taken to a menu screen.

Iulietta Perquitienus - In the final version, you'll be able to choose from a few hundred of our songs. In this version, the demo consists of a single song.

Iulietta selected the only working option on the menus and it started, after a short loading screen.

The rhythm began. At the right moment, Iulietta Perquitienus began singing along to the music. Prince Andreas chose not to translate the song, which was one of Iulietta Perquitienus's songs. The lyrics were about a rebuke to Feministvs Sanctvsterra, criticizing the idea that women should have equal rights and defending the status quo in Saintland. Since she was the original singer of the song, she got a perfect score from the simulator. When she finished her performance, the Sanctii in attendance applauded her loudly. Although many of them didn't think that highly of the singing ability of the members of Cantus Virginum, they appreciated the rebuke to Feministvs Sanctvsterra and they were glad that there were good role models for young ladies like Iulietta Perquitienus. Prince Andreas soon stepped up to speak.

Prince Andreas - I want to thank Iulietta Perquitienus for a great performance. Thank you for being such positive role models to the young ladies of our Kingdom. Next, I want to bring out the developer of Karaoke. You know him as a center back on the National Soccer Team. He is Georgius Catiotus.

Georgius Catiotus walked out and onto the stage.

Georgius Catiotus - Thank you, Andreas. I am the producer and lead programmer for the Karaoke project. I have set out to produce karaoke software that permits the user to sing Cantus Virginum songs and grades their singing for accuracy. While this may not be as technically spectacular as some of the other things that the Saint can do, I am confident that it will be a popular program. Karaoke will have relatively few online features. It will be able to connect to our servers and download the latest Cantus Virginum songs, but that is the limit of what it can do online. Karaoke is a single-user experience. I hope Cantus Virginum's legions of fans enjoy this product, which will be released exclusive on the Saint as a launch title. We can also announce localized versions of Karaoke for other regions, which will focus on popular acts in those areas.

Dirk Roth - Very interesting. I wasn't even aware of the existence of this project.

Prince Andreas - Before we show off more of our launch lineup, we will discuss the capabilities of the Saint in more detail.

---

The members of Feministvs Sanctvsterra's korfball team were watching the Saint reveal live on television in the Free Republics, where they were competing in the 3rd World Korfball Classic. They couldn't believe their ears when the Karaoke program was revealed.

Catharina - What was that?

Maria - One of those goodie-2-shoes that can't sing recorded a song insulting us and defending her own subjugation.

Martha - I can't believe what I'm watching.

Elizabetha - The members of Cantus Virginum are the biggest drones in that entire Kingdom. What do you expect?

Iulietta - Maybe we should release the Cantvs Feministvs song?

Agrippina - I was planning on releasing that during the Olympics, but maybe we should just release it during the World Cup. That would make our presence felt once again.

Georgius - Are you sure its a good idea to release that? Your faces would be known to the entire Kingdom, which would only make it even more difficult to return home.

Agrippina - I understand that, Georgius. You don't need to concern troll us all the time.

Georgius - I'm sorry, Agrippina. I just can't help myself.

Agrippina - I understand, but you really need to work on that.

Georgius - Yes, maam.

Agrippina - Now that we've addressed that, what exactly are we going to do about korfball?

Catharina - I don't think we're the best team in the world any longer. We're too rusty. New Sideburn's been practicing these past few months while we've been busy protesting the Patriarchy. Some Village has also emerged onto the scene and become a power.

Maria - When we played them, I looked into their eyes and saw the same determination we had last time. I admire them.

Agrippina - We need to beat them. We didn't return to the World Korfball Classic to lose our title.

Iulietta - We aren't the same these days.

Martha - We're entering the Olympics next, so I think we need to train for our Olympic events once korfball is done.

Agrippina - What do you think our members back home are doing right now? Every single member of our organization will be participating in the upcoming Summer Olympics.

Catharina - Where are they going to be held?

Agrippina - At this point in time, Orean, Liventia is the frontrunner.

Maria - So, Liventia's going to hold both Olympics in a calendar year and 3 out of 4?

Catharina - It definitely sounds like it.

Agrippina - I know the oppressors are sending their massive delegation. I wonder if we can convince the Olympic Council to count us as part of a unified team with them?

Maria - Have you lost your mind?

Catharina - Come on, Maria. It would be awesome to throw that in their faces.

Agrippina - Yeah, I'd love it if our feminist medals counted along with theirs toward a single medal count.

Maria - I guess I understand where you're coming from, but I'd still prefer to march by ourselves in the Parade of Nations instead of marching alongside the Princes of Patriarchy.

Agrippina - I think the Olympic Council would love to have an opportunity to express their disapproval of the oppression of women back home.

Maria - You know that there is no way that the oppressors would pull out of the Olympics.

Agrippina - Of course, I know that. They see the Olympics as their chance to convince the world that they are the Chosen Nation of their Patriarchal God.

Catharina - I know what you're saying. We've got to spoil their party.

Agrippina - Let's keep a low profile during the World Cup, except for releasing that video. I want our re-emergence at the Olympics to surprise the tyrants.

Feministvs Sanctvsterra was plotting once again. It would be interesting to see if the group could make an impact once again and raise more awareness internationally regarding the actions of the regime in Saintland...

---

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello, I am Sister Maria Polus. I am the High Inquisitor at Progress High School in St. Ioannes. I was just reappointed to my position for the upcoming school year earlier today, but that is not why I am joining you today. Instead, I am joining you again on Sanctustube to speak about the situation involving a number of incorrigible delinquents from Progress High School, the very school where I am High Inquisitor.

As you know, school is currently out for the summer in our Kingdom. While most Sanctii children and even most foreign resident children are spending the summer engaged in wholesome activities like good little boys and girls, our Kingdom is current facing the scourge of a handful of delinquents. It is most unfortunate that these little hooligans should misbehave as they have. I had thought that I had set most of the students at Progress High School back on the righteous path, but it seems that a few have fallen through the cracks.

Recently, a group calling themselves Vindicta Progressvm showed up at a Cantus Virginum concern at Royal Square Garden and began heckling the ladies. Cantus Virginum is an admirable musical group that is a great influence upon the youth of our Kingdom. I am a Cantus Virginum fan. Although there is nothing exceptional about any of the members of Cantus Virginum, the group is greater than the sum of its parts. It is great that there is a musical group composed of numerous young ladies that exemplify the way a young lady is supposed to deport herself. If the young ladies of our Kingdom continue to look up to the members of Cantus Virginum, I will remain optimistic about the future of our Kingdom. We are still God's Kingdom and I believe and pray that we will remain God's Kingdom until Judgment Day.

Once again, we are confronted with a domestic terrorist organization that is committed to the destruction of the Church of Saintland and the corruption of our Kingdom. The members of Vindicta Progressvm are apparently all students at Progress High School. This makes it much easier to bring all members of this organization to justice and give them their just reward.

I want to address the allegations by Vindicta Progressvm against my actions as High Inquisitor. I assure everybody watching this video that I have done nothing that would be grounds for my dismissal. Although I have been firm with those punks, I have held them to a lesser standard than what every Sanctii youth at every Church of Saintland school is held to. I simply don't understand where they are coming from with their complaints. I haven't done anything worthy of being complained about. The members of Vindicta Progressvm aren't happy because I require them to wear uniforms and prohibit them from interrupting their teachers during classes. They aren't happy because I prohibit them from engaging in displays of affection in public! They aren't happy because I expect them to focus on academics, nor are they happy that I straightened out their curriculum so that they are no longer being taught fornication techniques. Vindicta Progressvm wants to restore Progress High School to the den of wickedness that it was before I arrived and that is something that we must not allow.

If this group becomes a nuisance during the upcoming World Cup qualifiers, I will recommend to the Great and Wise King Paulus XV that Progress High School be re-opened early for the start of the new school year. If that should prove necessary, attendance at Progress High School would, of course, be mandatory for every student enrolled at the school. In fact, I would recommend that Progress High School function as a boarding school for the remainder of the summer if it proves necessary to reopen it. I would be willing to give up spending time at my convent for the well-being of these foreign resident youths. Since the Progress High School building is not suitable for use by a boarding school, I would request permission from the Church of Saintland to use a Church of Saintland boarding school campus to house Progress High School for the remainder of the summer. This would likely shut down Vindicta Progressvm for the remainder of the summer. Any student at Progress High School that did not return for the summer school session would be charged as a member of Vindicta Progressvm and I can assure everybody in the Kingdom that no student would be permitted to escape the school grounds. If this option were adopted, Vindicta Progressvm would be gone for the rest of the summer and I would use the time to interrogate the students at Progress High School and discover the identities of as many Vindicta Progressvm members as possible. Rest assured that this organization will not become the next Feministvs Sanctvsterra. Either Vindicta Progressvm will stop their shenanigans this instant or the entire student body of Progress High School will be punished for their actions.

On a happier note, I want to say that I applaud the National Baseball Team for their performance in the World Baseball Classic. Eliminating the rotten nation of Cassadaigua on their home turf was a great achievement. I just loved the way those scandalous Dagan trollops threw apples onto the field in vain. Nothing they could do could deny the Kingdom of Saintland from eliminating the hosts on their home turf. In fact, that's becoming quite a pattern lately. The National Basketball Team also eliminated Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Saugaeis and Pasarga may want to watch out. If the National Soccer Team qualifies for the World Cup finals this time around, they may very well eliminate one of them from the World Cup. I'm sure most of the Kingdom is hoping that the Sanctii eliminate Saugaeis in order to get revenge for our Kingdom's defeat in the quaterfinals of the World Baseball Classic, just like we defeated Cassadaigua on their home turf and avenged our defeats in the finals of the Swamp Soccer World Cup and the quaterfinals of the International Basketball Championship.

As I have said in the past, if we turn toward God and repent, he will forgive our sins and heal our land. If we turn to God, our championship drought that began with that loss to Valanora in the ice hockey gold medal match at the last Winter Olympics may finally come to an end. We do not know the time or place where it is the Will of God that we will win a World Cup, but one day I am as certain as one can possibly be that God will permit the World Cup trophy to come home to His Kingdom in NS. I am Sister Maria Polus and I thank you for watching.

[Neu Engollon]

La Gomera Isleno Nandezia 23 June 2013

We got to Isleno, which is the Nandezian capital, but didn't have much time to look around

We had fun at the game, I talked a bunch with the Tofts and Dad was happy when Paseult scored the first goal right before the half. Then right after the half, one of their forwards, Jimeno Moles, tied it up. Dad really got sour after that and pretty tense.

The Tofts didn't really get bothered much. They kept talking about other stuff while Dad got kind of steamed and swore under his breath out at the Goats on the field. It finally ended after some yellow cards 2 on our guys and one on one of theirs. Another tie. Wow, the Goats get a lot of ties. Minister Toft joked that everyone will start calling us Tie-land instead of Neu Engollon. I didn't really get that, but all the adults laughed.

Still better than a loss, but I don't think this is helping our record very much to get beyond the group. I took it easy on the ice cream today, even though Mrs. Toft offered to buy more. I feel a lot better now at the hotel. Gotta go brush my teeth and then turn the lights out. Dad is already starting to fall asleep. Good talk with Mom on the phone, but I think she misses me a lot.
OK, until tomorrow.

Manny.

[Jeru FC]

Jeru FC coach Princess Melody and Daryl Dalek after Jeru FC beat 3-0 Ancharmunn in Ancharmunn

Melody: Good work Daryl
Daryl: Exterminate Ancharmunn, they are inferior beings
Melody: Hey, enough of that. We won OK
Daryl: Exterminate Ancharmunn, they are inferior beings
Melody: We exterminated Ancharmunn OK?
Daryl: Yes Master

Melody: It'd be nice if you didn't upset other by being so direct
Daryl: Exterminate inferior beings
Melody: That's what I mean. Tone down your language a little
Daryl: How?
Melody: Use different language, more subtle
Daryl: That is not possible

Melody: At least don't mention killing people
Daryl: Exterminate inferior beings
Melody: OK, just don't speak to people then.
Daryl: Yes Master
Melody: Can you get me some hotdogs then?
Daryl: Yes Master

Melody: Gee, this is hard work. Dreamy, stop that.
James Master: Hey coach
Melody: What are you plotting now?
James Master: Nothing
Melody: I know you're up to no good
James Master: I suppose I am

Melody: We're back to track anyway after that loss
James Master: We can rule the football universe
Melody: Well, that's if we even qualify
James Master: We'll qualify
Melody: So got any bright ideas?
James Master: Yes but I can't tell you yet

Melody: I'm not stupid you know
James Master: I know
Melody: I guess an evil genius must keep his plans for world domination secret
James Master: Yes
Melody: You're not going anywhere at the moment
James Master: I guess I need more money first

Melody: So why are you here?
James Master: By accident
Melody: Figures
James Master: Are you an regeneration of someone else?
Melody: Not that I know of
James Master: You should know if you are

Melody: I wouldn't tell if I was anyway
James Master: I like secrets
Melody: You get back to your schemes
James Master: Can borrow some money for lunch?
Melody: You'd better pay it back
James Master: I had ideas for that too ...

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katy and Jeruselem coach Michelle Salad after a 4-1 loss Bergnovinaia in Bergnovinaia

Katy: Oi, what happened that was a disaster!
Michelle: I dunno ... our keeper got send off after someone said something to him
Katy: Weird, he's normally so reliable
Michelle: All downhill after we lost a player and had to put on the reserve keeper
Katy: I don't understand
Michelle: Neither do I

Katy: Too late to fix the damage
Michelle: Yes, a loss. Not something we needed right now.
Katy: Digger said he got insulted by something someone said to him
Michelle: We get a lot that but surely it can't be that bad
Katy: I guess it was
Michelle: Was it one of the opposition players?

Katy: No he said it was from the crowd, a group of unruly people
Michelle: You get those everywhere
Katy: Except they like to travel in groups
Michelle: Birds of a feather stick together as they say
Katy: I guess they do. A bunch of birds can be very noisy
Michelle: People have to toughen up. Insults are just words.

Katy: I'm used to getting insulted
Michelle: Maybe wearing clothes helps
Katy: I am wearing clothes today
Michelle: I guess being a Dallas isn't all smelling roses
Katy: True but you stick the thorns in the opponents face and rub it around
Michelle: You're not the forgiving type are you?

Katy: Not really
Michelle: At least your sister did better than me
Katy: Away wins are always harder
Michelle: Yes, away losses are worse
Katy: Not to worry, it's early days yet Fruity
Michelle: I've given up stressing. Makes your hair fall out

Katy: It does anyway
Michelle: Oh yes
Katy: How does that son of yours put up with this wife of his?
Michelle: I don't know. I wouldn't put up with her either. I don't live there so it's not my problem
Katy: She is your daughter-in-law
Michelle: Well ... I pretend she isn't

Katy: Any kids yet?
Michelle: None, maybe that's good
Katy: See, it was bad idea. If he married a Dallas, he'd have at least one by now.
Michelle: Or five
Katy: More than zero anyway
Michelle: I wouldn't mind grandkids.

[Tasrailia]

Both short blogs

Tasrailia 2–0 The Greater Archipelago

GK: Kyle Danai (Devbourne)
DF: Matthew Norir (Devbourne)
DF: Joshua Coap (Devbourne)
DF: Mario Aoaoae (Launey)
DF: Ryan Eoaee (Devbourne)
MF: Ryan Whincup (Burth)
MF: Ben Ben (Burth)
MF: Michael Mole (Devbourne)
MF: James Blueberry (Hoberra)
FW: Robin Federer (Burth)
FW: Jarrod Murphy (Burth)

The second home game was a sucess and with the news that this was infact a human team was even more exicted. The government was thinking was changing the law but thought it would be necisally in this case. Anyway both goals came from Michael Mole to 5 goals and the leading goalscorer of alltime in Tasrailia. A brilliant victory and a much deserve 3 points

Chiata 2–1 Tasrailia

GK: Kyle Danai (Devbourne)
DF: Matthew Norir (Devbourne)
DF: Joshua Coap (Devbourne)
DF: Mario Aoaoae (Launey)
DF: Riley Daian (Launey)
MF: Ryan Whincup (Burth)
MF: Timothy Mole (Devbourne)
MF: Michael Mole (Devbourne)
MF: James Blueberry (Hoberra)
FW: John Utaja (Burth)
FW: Jarrod Murphy (Burth)

Travelling is so confusing and going different dimensens as well. Anyway we headed to Chiata not cheater as it sounds. Anyway this was a brilliant match with the tight game being the main. A 50,000 stadium shouting for once nation. I'm surprised that we didn't lose more but then if it was on our turf then it would be a lot different. Well done to Sammy Swade and Ram Willis for scoring the goals against I would say tough rookies even if it doesn't show it. At least Jarrod Murphy scored our only goal of the game.