World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

DE PLACA
que isso menina, quem você pensa que é?/não quer me dar bola, só porque estou a pé?

WORLD CUP 65
Debuting the Vaporeon, NSI ends up winning 2-1 against Hontaýpýar
While we are still trying to help our main editor because of a tantrum he throwed due to how Hontaýpýar also joined the crew of teams that decided not to declare the name of their players (In Group 7: Timfen, German-Spanish Empire, Colland and New Lowerlands), which we from DE PLACA believe is some sort of protest against the World Cup Organization (or just laziness, but that wouldn't sound as epic and wouldn't sell more newspapers), we would like to say that the Vaporeon kit debut rolled well as NSI won their second match of the World Cup qualifiers against a not very interested in the match team of Hontaýpýar.

Aside from their very strange name (that comes with two accents and all the rest) and a goal they scored in the marker of 84', the game was fully NSI. To the point where the coach didn't even had to make changes to the line-up. The goals were, as almost everything that our national team seem to do nowadays, filled of twists, dribbling and oftenly not direct.

The first goal came from the feet of Natsu Hanekawa, at the first half. She would do a couple of roulettes, rolling to the left and after that to the right defender after defender, only to simply kick the ball to the left side of the goal. Fancy, but a common rule. The other goal would come from the feet of Louise Montblanc after a corner kick in the second half. Andressa de Souza would hit the ball from the right corner, only to find Montblanc's blond head inside the box.

The game was boring, and let's be honest about that, not really deserving of the futuristic new crest and the Vaporeon-detailing new kits, which were a good job from Vulpine Sportif, but maybe weren't as needed. Probably it's the fact that they need to profit, we don't know. Also, we would like to mourn the passing of our main editor and request Hontaýpýar to pay the post-death cerimonies we will have to do with him. Couldn't you pick a better way to protest?

NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS - 2
M. Rosário; A. de Souza, P. Mangalonga, N. Hanekawa (22'), L. Souza; B. Laval, B. Crawford, H. Smith, Duda; M. Patiy, L. Montblanc (69')
HONTAÝPÝAR - 1
We don't know much about their team as they decided to not show their names for us. But they scored at the mark of 88'.

OTHER NEWS
> Vulpine Sportif to also debut the new kit for Tasrailia and still looking for more national teams to serve as clients
> SBL Fist Game: Watanabe Sky surprise the Selyne City Charge, 99 - 93
> Kitsunia-Deesse: La Déesse X's baby is a girl
> Peczemá Golden Magikarps unhappy with loss against New Montreal States

[Apox]

George McLaren had had a lot on since his bet with AV Bodwannick had taken place. His life, or rather, death, had taken on a new purpose as he travelled into Wight Spit to the house of the Apoxian ambassador in order to track down some Apoxians, hopefully some of whom could play football. He'd be looking for the best, only they would do.

He'd been sent off with the good wishes of the Rose and Thistle regulars, Withnail and Marwood, who promised to keep a drink waiting for him, and Sir Charles Barton who offered him a free pint should his team win. He'd clambered aboad a bus which turned up both late, on time and early according to the schedule, and made the short journey into Wight Spit.

He arrived and wandered around confused for a few minutes and generally getting used to all the various creatures that greeted him along the way. It was the first time he'd been in the city without being either drunk or in the process of a mental breakdown, so took some getting used to.

He eventually found his way to the Apoxian ambassadors house, one Sir Teril Kirkland, who had died in 52 A.T, having been a personal friend and acquitance of old Sir Charles Barton before he'd popped his clogs in a riding accident because apparently that was how everyone died back in the day. His house was quite a stately home, which gave off an imperious air, only slightly diminished by how it was squeezed into the space of a terraced house. George wasn't quite sure how that had happened, but he was prepared to let that one slide. The street was a similar mess of different styles of houses and dwellings, with building ranging from desert tents to modern flats to even a stone age cave hut.

George walked up to the door and knocked the impressive knocker, creating a mildly ominous boom from within. There was the distant muffled nosies of someone getting up, knocking into something, crashes, curses, a cat shouting before being kicked. Then, silence. Until the door creaked open, and a small man appeared at the door. He had all the signs of an old man, except for his obvious appearance, as everyone aged to 44 in Wight.

"Salutations! What can I do for you, gentle person of this fair land?" he asked. George raised an eyebrow before continuing,

"Well I was actually..." he was cut-off,

"Certainly my man! But what are we doing tarrying on this doorstep. Enter my abode, and tell me what is over a stoutly ale!" he said, motioning inside to the dark interior of the room. George entered, and was shown through to a quaint little sitting room while Teril went off in his of his "stout ale". He returned, with two large flagons, one in each hand, filled to the brim with a foul smelling substance, apparently ale.

"Now then, what is it that is troubling you, O knight of the realm?" George couldn't stand it anymore,

"What the fuck is up with your speech?" Sir Teril went slightly red but recovered admirably quickly.

"You got me, it's how we used to speak back in the day, but I see a lot of Apoxian's so I can adjust. I still prefer to speak how I used to though. So, what do you want?" George relaxed, listening to that drivel would have driven him mad.

"Well, it's all about this bet I made...." he started, as he begun to tell out the entire story and how he needed a team's worth of Apoxian footballers in a couple of weeks to take on one of the biggest football teams in Wight, meanwhile sipping his ale and trying not to choke on the vile taste. Teril listened attentively, nodding and such, with a smile on his face.

"The best thing about this job," he said, "I that I get to listen to all these crazy stories people end up doing. Luckily for you I can help you out here." He stood up, and motioned for George to follow him as he shuffled off. They went out of the sitting room and entered into what was clearly supposed to be a library. However, there were no books in it, only thousands and thousands of scrolls, as well as a battered old computer at a desk.

"This sort of thing used to be a nightmare before computer's were invented," said Teril, sitting down at the desk, "mind you, I'm still cataloging all the scrolls." He tapped away at the computer for a short while, looking up only to say,

"People with footballing experience you say?" George nodded, and Teril returned to his tapping. After a couple of minutes of sorting and scrolling furiously through excel, the list was compiled.

"Do you want it printed out?" George once again nodded, and the small, equally battered printer in the corner of the room whirred into life. About 3 minutes later, and with a small books worth of paper, George had his list of names. Teril walked him back to the door, chatting idly all the way.

"If you need any more help, you know where I am," he said, "Oh, and by the way, they may be a little out of date in terms of peoples current whereabouts. The list hasn't been fully updated for about 15 years. Should be a good'un though. Hope it goes well, I'll be watching the game." And with that the door was shut and the odd little man disappeared from view. Now all that was left to do was to return to Dwyle and sift through some of this paperwork.

---

And so we came to the away first match of this campaign, against the top ranked side in the group, The Sylvanaes Queendom. As the only team ranked higher than us, and as we were away on this occasion, this would be undoubtedly the hardest match in the group, and therefore the one we'd expect to lose the most.

Therefore, a high scoring 4-4 draw against the elves from the Queendom is something of a nice surprise. The Sylvanaes started the match, and things were remarkably even in the opening minutes, with the Sylvanaes getting the first chance on goal, Alura Sabre testing Will Hewitt's mettle right from the start. Three minutes later, the diminutive Sison Nyifith scored the opening goal, due to a poor pass from Hans Nielssen which she was able to intercept.

Minutes later, the Sylvanaes were at it again, this time forward, Janwen Undomiel scoring an excellent goal, and putting Apoxian hopes of a result in jeopardy within 10 minutes of play. However, we rallied, and our offense were able to make some sense of the game, with captain Olim Benzari testing and trying the Sylvanaes defense time and again, before his superb cross found its mark in the centre, that mark being the head of Keri Ularu, who pulled the score back to 2-1.

The Sylvanaes next good chance was a free-kick 40 metres from the goal, after Jack Moses rash challenge on Jacina Elminster, however, the resulting kick by Merdëmiel Aldatauré sailed hopelessly over the bar. However, the Sylvanaes were still a potent force for the rest of the match, and Apox were lucky to go into the second half still only 2-1 down, after Alura Sabre's excellent strike in the 40th minute, which was only denied by Dan Weekes clearance off the line.

In the second half, it was The Sylvanae who once again scored, Janwen Undomiel scoring her second of the match, in the 50th minute, with a driving kick from outside the box, having jinked past Fronden Abel, who was unable to manoeuvre in time. Apox came close in the 53rd minute, Marlon Vetta curling a quick ball into the box which Jania Lassvanil was only just able to hold onto.

However, Apox would indeed score just a matter of minutes later, after the substitute Maxim Kolo fed a nice ball through to Keri Ularu, who was only too obliging to score the goal, nicking the ball past the dive of Jania Lassvanil. Apox once again had renew hope and optimism, however, in the 75th minute, it looked like it would all be over, as Janwen Undomiel completed her hat-trick in emphatic fashion, this time jumping higher than the rest to head the ball in from a cross.

Luckily for Apox though, Númba still had a few tactics up his sleeve, and he put on Fred Barnett, replacing him for Fronden Abel, who had looked weak all match, as Apox reverted to a more old-fashioned 3-4-3 formation. It paid off instantly, with Jack Moses receiving the ball off Fran Gracie on the wing, with the ball just going past Keri Ularu, but lining up perfectly for Jack to slot it away.

So, with 4 minutes to go, the score was 4-3 to the Sylvanae. A final tactical change for both sides, an attacking one for Apox and a defensive one for the Sylvanae, with Dan Weekes going off for Matthias Sindelar, and Narniel Amandguord off for Laidiriel Roloeme. However, the Sylvanaes defense held firm, refusing to budge to the attacks of the Apoxians. However, in the 2nd minute out of the three allotted for injury time, inspiration struck, as Olim Benzari once again showed his class for Apox, stepping past Jacina Elminster, who was unable to stop him, and firing in a cross from the right, as he had done so many times for the team since he'd been playing. In the middle, a horde of white and red, pink and purple shirt jostled for positions, but it would be Fred Barnett who got their first, the ball pinging of his head and past the goalie. The travelling fans and away team celebrated wildly, as if it was a win, as if we'd just qualified. And while that is by far not guaranteed, this is the right first step to take in search of a second qualification to the most prestigious tournament in the world.

Team Sheet from the Match (scorers in bold)
GK - Will Hewitt
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Dan Weekes sub Matthias Sindelar 86'
CD - Fronden Abel sub Fred Barnett 76'
LD - Hans Nielssen
RM - Olim Benzari (c)
CM - Will Fich
CM - Jack Moses
LM - Fran Gracie
CF - Marlon Vetta sub Maxim Kolo 53'
ST - Keri Ularu x2

[Zwangzug]

(OOC: Facts about today's host from an IDSND post.)

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Two days, two wins!

Zwangzug's national football squad won on a visit to an island such as Fajr or Mahathu, I don't actually know, in a city such as Juvapanam or Urajbina again, it's not that important, in a stadium such as Sampa Gumbada Stidiyama or Graha'ajat Stidiyama, blah blah blah. As in its first match, this qualification, Yuuki Nakano (possibly fittingly, for this occasion) had said match's only goal, from a first-half cross.

So, I had him talk about football and how it's all going. As is typical, I'm not quoting him word for word, but just summarizing his gist.

Us: Congratulations!
Nakano: Thanks! This is atypical, to show up with a high rank, in comparison to our opposition, you know.
Us: Not for all of Zwangzug's history.
Nakano: I'm not a historian.
Us: That's fair. So how's it, showing up as a visitor.
Nakano: You know what? Half of any campaign's duration is on road trips. If that's in Zwangzug, having to go play in loud old Bassabook, or in Urajbina with its proud woman fans and all? Or going to Saintland and maniacs who support it? It won't throw off my play, if anything I know what's going on. I don't think all of Zwangzug's squad was totally okay handling hot surroundings.
Us: So who from you guys did show off a capacity to stand out, as a visitor?
Nakano: I think Vipin [Lamin] was improving a lot, today.
Us: I'll turn that around, who was starring for today's hosts?
Nakano: Obviously you cannot look past [Natasha] Klossovskaya, accomplishing so much with FKM and having to jump ship from Kagdazka? All that to still play so skillfully in Astograth, you know, with Royal Rumiatzi, and captain this squad, is astonishing. I was lucky to find goal today, you know, as following that it was just lights-out.
Us: What do you miss most about Trink?
Nakano: Holidays, I think. It's such an...odd city, but for cool occasions all of this party stuff will just go on, combining a bunch of random traditions--and it shouldn't work--but it works.
Us: How was it to win a championship with Juvapanam?
Nakano: Cool?
Us: Okay...right. Is an aura of invincibility surrounding that club?
Nakano: Ha, ha. No. Um. If you look back at its past, okay, it's a lot of history and...dramatic things, but as I said, that's not my job to worry about. Šušan'ikara Ghur is our coach, right, and...is a good coach! Obviously! But so I don't think of him as that guy who would go on and on and on with his playing days, that a sculptor would want to honor.
Us: Okay, that's fair. What's coming up for Zwangzug?
Nakano: A lot of football, I think you know that? No, I'm cool with this building up to hard opposition, pushing that off, so it's not right away. Who wouldn't want to try practicing national formations and tactics, for almost as long as you can until things look hard? As our only forward, a lot, but just a third of Juvapanam's attack, I must adjust or I'll wind up so far out of position.
Us: It was working today.
Nakano: Thanks!
Us: Good luck.

[Boring Paradise]

Group 18

Valladares (9)
Qazox (43)
Boring Paradise (47)
Estope (94)
Alexanderburn (134)
Felix (199)
St Lucoa (231)
Kaznan (293)
Borealia (293)
Schalafania (UR)

MD1: 2-0 Kaznan (H)
MD2: 3-3 Borealia (A)
MD3: Valladares (H)
MD4: Qazox (A)
MD5: Schalafania (H)
MD6: Estope (H)
MD7: Alexanderburn (A)
MD8: Felix (H)
MD9: St Lucoa (A)
BYE
MD10: Kaznan (A)
MD11: Borealia (H)
MD12: Valladares (A)
MD13: Qazox (H)
MD14: Schalafania (A)
MD15: Estope (A)
MD16: Alexanderburn (H)
MD17: Felix (A)
MD18: St Lucoa (H)

Win or Expected Win
Draw or Expected Draw
Lose or Expected Lose

Top Story|Scientists Have Found Weird Link

In the latest researches. Scientists have connected the Paranormal Activity during WC64 Qualifying with the storm that lead us in founding out that Boring Paradise have been move from Rushmore to Esportiva. More research is going on and what caused The Paranormal to take revenge for something.

In the part year all of the scientists were bewilded by the Ghostly Presence around the twelve year old striker, Raiyaan Malik during the World Cup Qualifying. Then eighteen months ago, in December the mysterious storm which took the Paradisians to a New Land. Different Cimate and different surroundings. All of Paradisian Satellites were out of reach. After configuring them, which took a whole year, scientists were looking at the map of the new place. So far they only found that they were much closer there main empire, Westfield House, who are in Esportiva. The region has not been confirmed yet even the coordinates have not been found yet. Due to that our games are being held at Westfield House house until we can get our airports up and running. So far there has been no Contact from the outside world.

As far as we know about the ghost, he or she is not just going after Raiyaan Malik he is actually helping the natonal team in general as we had detected during the game against Kaznan. He didn't actually help score any goals,but only help the defense when Kaznanian Strikers were all over the goal (not literally). As we have predicted from the start, the ghost helps the team and not just one player on the team. The situation may have been different if Raiyaan Malik, Hishaam Ali and Sameer Jaklim were not dropped from the team because of age limits that were introduced. Luckily for them now they are now working for the Under 15 and 21 squad and also there current club team.

The scientists at the University of Boratio can't explain the reasons about these recent events. Most historians at the University of Samcastle think it may be something to do with the most finding of the great football player , Bobby Malik. His tomb was found by a explorer around the Snowy Mountains, in a cave near the peak of the mountain. He was the greatest footballer before Raiyaan Malik came. He is actually Raiyaan's Great Grandfather. So it explains how he was helping Raiyaan Malik in WC64. But then he also has a link to Shooby Armours. Shooby's grandfather was a great footballer and they were both best friends. So he may have been with Bobby at the time of the incident. If the historians were correct then, how and why would they move the Location? That is the question we are all interested in.

In the game against Borealia. Samuel Wong made his first day on the field after a long time now. He was put into the team to replace Hishaam Ali. Shooby Armours replaced Raiyaan Malik, Haider Williams takes the role that Sameer Jaklim has and then to fill the subs bench, Athlean Irving was put onto the team. In the first half, we had a bad start going 2-0 down after 30 minutes. Then Shooby scored a goal in the 38th minute with a through ball from Samuel Wong. In the beginning of the second half Haider Williams scored a equalizer from a stunning pass by Kevin Harris. In the closing minutes, Shooby Armours thought he scored the winning goal, but then they scored the equalizer in the 90+3th minute. The Final Score was a 3-3 draw.

-  Group 18                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Qazox                                2    2   0   0     5    2   +3     6 
 2 Boring Paradise                      2    1   1   0     5    3   +2     4
 3 Felix                                2    1   1   0     4    3   +1     4
 4 Estope                               2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
 5 Valladares                           2    1   0   1     5    4   +1     3
 6 Alexanderburn                        2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
 7 St Lucoa                             2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
 8 Kaznan                               2    0   1   1     2    4   −2     1
 9 Schalafania                          2    0   1   1     2    4   −2     1
10 Borealia                             2    0   1   1     3    5   −2     1

[Darmen]

"I don't have time for this Sally!"

The door slammed, making the shortest man in the room jump a little. Which was odd, considering there was almost fifty men in the room, and they all seemed to be talking pretty loudly.

"Have a seat gentlemen. Shall we begin."

"I'd like to motion that you fire Sally. I think we've all had enough."

"No. Sally stays."

"Really, you're going to subject us to more pain, suffering and absolutely infuriating mockery against all things we men hold holy."

"Huh?"

"Just fire her, please!"

"Alright, alright, I'll start looking for a replacement. Now, what I really wanted to talk about was what our positions are on the various topics to be discussed at the Commonwealth Trade Summit. Minister Johnston, I assume you've looked over the list I gave you this morning at our meeting."

"I did."

"And?"

"Um, well... a trade agreement is something we can definitely agree to. Minor things can be included, nothing major. As for the single currency, I'm opposed personally. Frecmenta, Naitpyge, Tanamera and Tempala already have their various Babas pegged to ours, just their own designs and what not. Earo and the Sportocracy each have their own, and the Sportocracy is generally opposed to the creation of a single currency. I'm going to have to agree with them.

"Good, good. What about the other points on the agenda."

"The exchange of views regarding the Commonwealth's economy should be taken care of already by the Summit itself. Inflation is pretty well controlled by most governments. I'm not really sure how the energy crises got fit into the same point, um, perhaps you can explain Prime Minister."

"I blame the Duke. He's the problem. He's always the problem."

"Gotcha. In that case, I guess we just push for more nuclear power plants, and for the smaller countries probably wind and solar."

The Minister of the Environment nodded his head in agreement, as did the Minister of Nuclear Safety.

"Thought you'd be opposed to more nuclear?" asked the Prime Minister.

"What? No, I'm not some tree hugging hippie liberal. Yuck." The men in the room laughed, before the attention returned to the Minister of Trade.

"Where was I, ah yes, um, the unemployment issue. Last time, we increased the military. That kinda worked, but not for long. But we do need need some sort of job creation program. As for economic recovery, that's something only we really need to be worried about. Most other countries are doing good."

The shortest man in the room, the one who had jumped earlier when the Prime Minister had slammed the door shut, hiccuped, causing everyone to stare at him.

"What, I have the hiccup's. It happens sometimes, you know?"

"Ok, back on track here, um... I got nothing. This is really boring. And, to be honest, I think the most pressing issue is if we Trade Ministers are going to get a Beer Pong tournament of our own?"

"You'll get two. One when the Summit is over, and one right now. Sally! Bring us some beer would you!" The Prime Minister proceeded to pull out two ping pong balls, and the Deputy Prime Minister grabbed the glasses. Within minutes, a cabinet meeting had turned into a beer pong party.

[Nouvel Ecosse]

NOUVEL ECOSSE 1 SAN POTATO 1
Colin Di Nesbo 75'

A Seventy-fifth minute goal from Everton midfielder and star man Colin Di Nesbo was enough to snatch a draw in the World Cup qualifier between Nouvel Ecosse and San Potato, held in front of a home crowd of over 80,000 at the national stadium of Saltire Park. Nouvel Ecosse, ranked only 231st in the World, a whole 119 places behind their opposition, were ranked 7-1 outsiders for the game by top betting agency AlhambraBet365, and so the draw came as a shock to many of the country's fans, fresh from the upset of a quite successful run at the previous Baptism of Fire in Kinitaria and Legalese.

The game began in usual fashion: both squads, near enough the usual line-ups of both sides (apart from the appearance of Ewan Cassio on the bench, after Ron McCash was left out of the squad), lined up for the anthems, and then the game began. It was San Potato who were quick off the mark, quickly threatening from a couple of early corners, one header only stopped by the outstretched, veteran leg of Nouvel Ecosse captain and stalwart Zanetti. The Nouvel Ecosse fans were settling down for more of the same defensive play from the Rampant Walrus, however they were sent into a frenzy when a long, high, looping ball found proficient marksman Darren McFadden, who rounded the goalkeeper and slotted the ball home, only for the linesman's flag to chop down for an offside.

The next ten minutes were dominated by the Nouvel Ecosse attack, Colin Di Nesbo leading the charge from midfield, whilst Darren McFadden manipulated the defense. Sanchez Reno, still in great form and filled with confidence, saw his long-range, dangerous volley easily saved, whilst Curt Lafleur saw his dipping header easily cleared. The Rampant Walrus came to regret their missed chances on the thirty-third minute, when the San Potato centre-forward broke away from the caught-out boots of Pierre Van Miller, and coolly slotted home, Zinedine Frazer's outstretched just not close enough to make a difference.

The remainder of the first half continued in a similiar style, the San Potato attack creating chance after chance, Frazer keeping the scoreline at only 1-0, and it was Colin Di Nesbo who was the hero when his body stopped a shot on the line on the stroke of half-time. When the whistle sounded a collective sigh of relief came from the Nouvel Ecosse defense and the fans.

The second half however was an entirely different story from the end of the first. Colin Di Nesbo, alongside his fellow central midfielders of Sanchez and Lafleur, were instrumental in the constant barrage of shots from Nouvel Ecosse. Norrie Stewart's half-time speech must have had a real effect on the array of players, and on the 75th minute it was Di Nesbo himself who capatilised on an error from the San Potato defence, dispossessing the centre-back easily before proceeding to cheekily chip the goalkeeper. The man-of-the-match award was rightly deserved.

It was an edgy end to the game, when Reno was yellow-carded for a rash foul and San Potato barely held on. Jorge Sanchez had a dubious and controversial penalty claim turned down, video evidence showing he there was clearly tripped. However, it could also be said that San Potato were unlucky when a clear handball was turned down in the Nouvel Ecosse box, another claim missed by the referee, who had a relatively poor game by his usual standards.

The Nouvel Ecosse fans can be proud of their team for their performance against San Potato, and their result was rightly deserved for a spirited and promising performance. Its on to the next game, where Nouvel Ecosse will hope to get a victory.

[Sondstead]

Sondstead, Sondstead uber (almost) alles in the BoF!

Sondsteadish Pop Culture · Sports in Sondstead · Technology · Weird Stuff · Visiting Sondstead

Matchday 2; a qualified success (20 June 2013)

Contributed by Jay Cranston · Sondstead scores a victory after only drawing against the Quebecois Grim Reapers (Who aren't that scary)! On home turf even! Yay! But hold up. It's only 1–0 and you can bet the competition will only get tougher from here on in. Narsora was a complete newcomer and unranked in the KPB tables, so even in an average scoring game like football 1–0 isn't an impressive victory. Despite this, as usual, it was good playing on both sides.

Not knowing what to expect, Tomas Rum was cautious again and went with the good old 4-4-2 diamond against Narsora away, with no changes from last night's opening lineup. The game started out with fairly cautious play on both sides and was, let's face it, not the most interesting fifteen minutes of football ever. The remainder of the first half heated up slightly, with some brilliant playing on the part of the well-oiled Sondsteadish defence (especially everyone's favourite/favourite to hate player László Agócs) blocking Narsora's attempts to score. One close call was at 31 minutes, when only a foul on the part of Õspjuus Eskola stopped the ball. The direct free kick was also close, with Edelwülfssünr just barely blocking it. With play restarted, there wasn't quite as much drama in the last ten or so minutes.

Halftime presented an interesting strategic choice; Rum could've chosen to go back out with a 4-3-3 formation to take advantage of Narsora's relative weakness or avoid risky moves and stay with the 4-4-2 diamond even though it could well mean the game ending without either side having scored. Of course, Rum usually leans towards caution, and he stuck it out with the 4-4-2. However, the midfielders were more aggressive in the second half, and following up on some masterful (as usual) playmaking by Tom Markussunr, Jen Weäldrberg scored the first (and only) goal of the game at 55 minutes.

Rum again stuck to his usual strategy of grabbing the lead and then doubling down the defence and holding on to it like a python after that goal; the rest of the second half was the typical ironclad Sondsteadish defence, with the team truly in it's element; shades of the third matchday BoF game against Europa Britannia and of the 2011 Mare Cup.

And so, the game reached full time still stuck at one nil. While it was great playing on the Sondsteadish side certainly, it wasn't what they were hoping for and doesn't bode extraordinarily well for qualifiers against the likes of Wight or (eeeuurrghhh) Saintland. On the other hand, Sondstead is presently ranked a not unrespectable fourth in it's group, and tomorrow will face Aquitayne, a quite underperforming team, so in the immediate future their prospects aren't bad.

But yeah, anyone else feel sorry the team is going to have to go to Saintland?

[Legalese]

Drawing Purple Blood
1-1 Result in Jhanna keeps Legalese level with Starblaydia

Sometimes, a draw feels like a win. Today was one of those days for the Legal Eagles. Playing in front of a
sold-out crowd of 196,754 at Stadii Di Bradini in Jhanna, a crowd covered in the white-and-purple of the home
side, anything that denied Starblaydia the full three points on their home soil would be considered a positive.

The work started early for Legalese, with the forward-focused pressure keeping the hosts firmly planted on their
heels. Three early opportunities threatened to open the scoreline early, with Keeper Dean Prinns denying Xavier
Boyle’s first chance in the 5th minute. Boyle would get another opportunity in the ninth minute, putting the ball
just wide of the target, while Jimmy Jay would attempt to break through in the twelfth, with his header punched
over the bar by Prinns.

However, the corner kick set up would provide the spark needed. Jack Wayne took the kick from the left corner,
slipping it through the area to the far end of the goal area, where Liam Todd played the ball sideways with his
head, sending it downwards towards the middle of the goal area. This enabled a diving Cyrus Damhan to rush in
and put his head on it, driving it between Ferrucio and Charleston, and putting the visitors up 1-0.

True to form, Thate ordered his men to keep on the pressure. Lane Wilson, who had one shot on goal against
Europa Brittania, tried to net his first international goal from sixteen yards out, only to have Prinns reach the top
corner, pulling the ball off-path with an outstretched hand. This was followed up by a series of missed shots,
including three by Jay, two by Boyle, and an ill-advised blast from midfield by Kenny Stroud, which only became a
near-issue when it took a weird bounce, forcing Prinns to backtrack on the movement, tucking the ball in quickly
to end the first half.

The second half started with a renewed focus from the home side. In the 51st minute, a mistimed pass from
Slade Brahm was intercepted by Havana Loeb. As Loeb advanced forward, she found striker Antonio Calamari
on the run, having slipped through the defence like an eel. Calamari was able to finish the shot, leveling the
score for the hosts...

Gabe figured this was as good of a time as any to stop reading, the reporter missing the obvious metaphor choice on Calamari’s run. Dreadful play on Stroud’s part, there. The high-pressure fails when you don’t keep an eye on a counter-attacking forward.

All in all though, Gabe couldn’t complain too much. His general dictum on results came from a conversation with an old friend, back when he was coaching.

“You see, Gabe,” the friend said, “It’s hella tough to do well on the road, especially when you’re playing international matches. The passion the fans have, it’s just incredible. The saying in many places is that while some say that football is a matter of life or death, that’s completely false. It’s much more important than that.”

“With that in mind, you have to consider that when considering who you’re playing. Against a team almost as good as you, a draw is an acceptable result at their place. It takes two points away from them at home, and forces them to somehow beat you at your best place to finish ahead of you on points. Against a team that’s expected to be better than yours, a draw might as well be a win - it’s a point more than you expect to get, and two points they don’t get, so it is literally a win’s difference in the standings.”

“Yes,” Gabe replied, “but doesn’t that mean we have no excuse losing to a team that’s near us or worse in quality?”

“Well, I didn’t say it was all good news, or really news at all. Just a plan to keep in mind.”

Back in his office, Gabe mentally sketched out where that put the NT so far. So, a win at home should be expected for everyone on the list, so the win over EB keeps us level on that. For the result with Starblaydia, it was a draw on the road against a seemingly better side, so that’s even better for us - not quite a win, but it means we don’t lose ground to them early on. With Hutt River’s failings, that’s a great sign.

He looked at the standings board for Group Five. Above Legalese and Starblaydia, listed as joint-third on points and goal difference (with Starblaydia one up on goals scored), were two teams down in ranks, but high in reputation: Krytenia and Zwangzug.

“It just never gets easier, does it?” he said to himself.

[Socialist States Owen]

Sporadic hailed as tactical genius after comeback win
People seem to forget first half was an omnishambles
Clint Covey reports from Jeru FC

JERU FC - 3
Master 18
Racnoss 34, 40

EURA - 4
Heath 53
Sharp 61
Dawson 67
Thomas 82

A late Sam Thomas stunner rounded off a magnificent comeback after Eura went 3-0 down against Jeru FC.

One change had been made to the side - Simon Xavier in for the injured Sam Needle. Xavier had the first chance of the game, testing Nathan Angelica with a swerving 20 yard strike that saved by holding his ground and judging the bounce well. But Eura looked nervous and uncharacteristically poor at completing their passes, leading to several chances for Jeru. This culminated in the away side going behind the 18th minute. James Master had the ball passed straight to him when Tom Riley made a rare mistake laying the ball back to Michael Robertson. The Jeru midfielder took full advantage, drilling the ball low and hard past Daniel Belgrave. Jeru piled on the chances as Eura faltered in every position, and were lucky in the 26th minute when Master was denied another goal by the bar after beating Daniel Belgrave with another drilled shot. Rich Racnoss would ensure their pressure counted though, heading in during the 34th minute to double the home sides lead. With five minutes left until half time the Euran's were knackered, and needed the break to recover.

However, their tough task would become a mountain to climb before half time. The third goal would be typical of their shambolic first half performance. Mickey Smith, enduring a third consecutive poor performance, sliced a clearance straight to Jeru midfielder Lord. Lord was on the edge of the box with no room to shoot, having a defender either side of him, meaning there was little pressure on the Euran goal. However midfielder James McCroft saw fit to clatter Lord, giving away a free kick. Lord took the free kick himself and it looped over the wall but was saved by Daniel Belgrave; only for Michael Robertson's attempted to clearance to hit the back of the dispersing wall and fall to Racnoss. Racnoss had no difficult in spinning and slamming the ball past Daniel Belgrave. Eura went into the break 3-0 down and the game was seemingly lost already - they were rightly booed off the pitch by the away support. Yet Kelly Sporadic does not give up easily, and he made a triple substitution at half time as his side had nothing to lose.

Both full backs and the terrible Simon Xavier were taken off. Smith was replaced by Gareth Blackthorn who would play next to Dawson in midfield, while Tom Riley dropped back to cover the gap between the midfield and the now two man defence of Heath and Robertson. Feeney's replacement was Skorji Oslograd, who was thrown up front to play as a deep lying forward alongside Lee Sharp - with Xavier's replacement Sam Thomas playing between them. The formation change seemingly had an immediate effect as Eura pushed forward and starved Jeru of space to build up their slow moving ventures forward. Their foolish complacency probably did not help either. The comeback began in earnest in the 53rd minute with a simple goal. Josh Stevenson's corner was cleared back out to the wing and collected by Stevenson yet again. He whipped it straight back in and the ball squirmed through the defence and then in off Lyle Heath's boot. Heath could have doubled his international tally minutes after scoring his first goal, but his diving header from another Stevenson corner was saved brilliantly by Nathan Angelica.

A goal from nowhere would make it 3-2, and give Euran's the belief that they could still get a result. Munk hesitated on the ball at right back and soon found himself tackled by the much improved Stevenson, who darted into the box and thumped the ball straight at Angelica. However the rebound fell straight to Lee Sharp yards in front of the keeper, who simply had to divert the ball in with his left foot. Sharp then played a key role in the equaliser, which would fall to a man who is on the best form of his international career. That man is Clive Dawson. Sharp found Dawson with a brilliant inswinging cross on his left foot in the 67th minute, which Dawson stabbed past the Jeru goalkeeper, a volleyed finish of the most sublime variety. Eura continued to push for a winner after shocking Jeru with their comeback, and Dawson was very unlucky to have yet another goal ruled out in the 80th minute for offside. When the winner came, it was no surprise for those who had watched the momentum of the game turn so sharply. Sam Thomas set off on a mazy dribble down the right, before exchanging a one two with Oslograd that put him past the opposition left back. Thomas kept going and even though he lost his balance as he entered the box, he managed to squeeze a left footed effort past the goalkeeper. Kytler Peninsulae, and their marauding Honeybadgers striker Guy Stamp, face us next.

ANALYSIS

Player Ratings

EURA

1. D Belgrave – 4/10
2. N Feeney – 5/10 (Oslograd - 45)
4. M Robertson – 4/10
5. L Heath – 7/10
3. M Smith – 2/10 (Blackthorn - 45)
7. J McCroft - 6/10
6. T Riley – 5/10
8. C Dawson - 8/10
11. J Stevenson – 9/10
10. L Sharp – 7/10
25. S Xavier - 3/10 (Thomas - 45)

Substitutes

29. A Quinn
19. R Collins
15. B Dassuna
18. J Cotterill
24. G Blackthorn - 7/10
17. S Thomas - 8/10
14. S Oslograd - 7/10

MoM: Josh Stevenson (Eura)
Attendance: Unknown

Possession
JER - 49 % 51 - EUR
Shots
JER - 19 12 - EUR
On Target
JER - 8 7 - EUR
Corners
JER - 10 5 - EUR
Pass Completion
JER - 82 % 71 - EUR
Fouls
JER - 11 12 - EUR

[Cassadaigua]

Nothing great about Audioslavia yet,
By Adrienne Geraci

Tonight, we will play Audioslavia in Concord Heights. It is a game that sold out less then a hour after tickets went on sale for the game, and although we are the underdogs we are certainly not thinking this game is impossible to get three, or even a single point in. Let’s talk though, about Audioslavia, and that they are the two-time defending champions. This would seem to be an impressive accomplishment, but you know what? Right now, it really isn’t. If I were the captain of Audioslavia, as opposed to Cassadaigua, then the message I am delivering is that “two is not nearly as desirable as three.” What do I mean? Am I just trying to get under the skin of our opponents tonight? No, not at all. Since we won World 51, making us champions of World Cup 50 and 51, repeat World Cup champions have been commonplace. After Aguazul won World Cup 54 (co-hosted by Cassadaigua), World Cup 55 and 56 were won by Sorthern Northland with Aguazul returning to the championship for three straight. Then 63 and 64 by Audioslavia. Furthermore, you can even take that back another step and look at The Holy Empire, winners of two out of three (World Cups 60 and 62). What’s the impressive statistic in there? Really, it is only Aguazul, and even that has a "yeah but" associated with it.

And where is Aguazul now? Where is Sorthern Northland? You hear all these stories about the journey of getting to the top, but no one ever wants to talk about remaining at the top. Cassadaigua didn’t decide to rest on the laurels and give up the fight when it seemed as though they accomplished everything they could. That’s the full battle, you see, keeping your national program dominant when people are shooting for you, and not just riding off into the sunset. That’s what a nation like Valanora has done. This is one of the few nations out there that has not won their World Cups in a short period of time, but instead have been able to sustain their success over a long period. It was why when you ask most Cassadagans on the street which they feel is the best nation in HISTORY, the answer is Valanora. And no, we are not kissing up to any current organizers that might have some kind of a preference to that nation. Starblaydia can almost say this themselves, but they haven’t done anything since World Cup 47 (even though they did make it to the final of World Cup 63). The Holy Empire is a great, for sure, as even though it took them a long time to win their first World Cup, they were very good in many of those early tries, just not winning a title. So when I say “Great”, I am talking about true greatness, and there’s nothing that this current Audioslavia squad can do now to prove that. They can beat us 20-0 tonight, and that still would not prove their greatness. Right now, all they are is the current number one. Others have been there, done that. If they can stay at the top by the time World Cup 70 and even 75 roll around, then they have achieved true greatness. Right now, they are merely a Sorthern Northland. A “yeah they were good for a little while, but who cares they are gone now”.

This is why Cassadaigua wants to return to the World Cup top. After not participating in World Cup 63, the Queen could have decided not to bring the nation back, given the hit on the program. We could have perhaps, talked about a group of people who created this new land and then developed a soccer program. But that would have been the easy way out, a simplistic path taken by too many who got the top and then realized it would be difficult to sustain, so they cashed in on their winnings. That’s not Cassadaigua, and I sure hope that’s not Audioslavia, either.

[Filopines]

PHRASEBOOK & DICTIONARY

Learn how to speak Filopinian with a brand new book by Lonely Multiverse. It has become a best seller all over Filopines to further expand the people's vocabulary in the native language.

---

1st Edition
• FLP F9.50

---

Intro
Filopinian
Pinilanon pi•nil•ah•noon

Filopinian is the official language along with English. Cebuano, Spanish and German are also recognized as major languages but are not official.

Despite Filopines being bordered by three different nations (Falconwhereveryouare, Taeshan and Crolacia), Filopinian is hardly spoken in those countries.

Before being discovered, Filopinian was spoken throughout Filopines as well as other native languages. All have since become extinct except for Bahasa Sulaya. Bahasa Sulaya is still widely spoken in the Five Islands where Corvin is the main city. It is referred to as Sulaya by non-speakers. There are only 500,000 native speakers left.

In the Five Islands, the guttural 'kh' sound that is in some Filopinian words is pronounced with a normal 'h' sound. On the Mainland, it is pronounced with a 'kh'.

It is unknown what language family it is part of, but some linguists suggest that Filopinian be included in the Malayo-Polynesian sub-group of the Austronesian language family.

Thanks to Wight for the logo.

[Audioslavia]

The partizan home crowd had done their part, as had the players, who had won the game via a scrappy goal in the final ten minutes and been clapped off the field for their efforts. Three more points, a one-nil victory, but Mozi couldn't help but feel a little hollow. Audioslavia were, it had to be said, a 'pragmatic' team, which was a very pragmatic way of saying they were capable of being dull as dishwater. Kiryu-shi were a cautious, defensive-minded side at the best of times, and the conbination of counter-puncher and defensive caution had made for a match that Mozi had been glad he hadn't paid to watch.

Now, with the post-match debriefing having been conducted quickly by Israel Klimt, and the team having been given leave to go their seperate ways - although Mozi suspected many of those ways would converge in the nightclubs and casinos of Oljestaden on the mainland. Still, not much he could do about that, and probably wouldn't have done anything even if he could. He was, as David Radic had told him, supposed to be the 'good guy' and, in any case, the players had done what they'd been asked to do, what they were paid to do.

So, here he was, on a patio table outside a bar a little way down the road from the Weelderig hotel, sitting under a heat-lamp that had been hastily turned on as the sun had disappeared over the ocean horizon, watching is idiot kid brother alternate between putting things in his mouth. One was a cigarette, the other a hashish pipe of the type that were legal in the arab districts of Kjelstad, the other a 'virgin' martini that Mozi had no doubt contained at least some trace of smuggled moonshine. Mozi shook his head and withheld a sigh. Jon had always been the odd one in the family. Mozi had hardly been the 'older' sibling. Big sisters Miri and Upe had been eleven and fourteen at the time Mozi had been born, but Mozi's eighth birthday had coincided with the arrival of young Jon, elder sisters having long since flown the coup, with just Mozi (or 'Alvaro' as his parents had actually named him), his non-identical 'twin' brother (same day, eight years apart) as his spiritual guidance.

Mozi watched Jon take a hurried toke of his pipe and wondered as to how good a job he'd done. Mozi had been the jock at school, had captained the football team and had broken into the first team at Izotz Zubia as a nineteen year-old, playing there for six years until *that* tackle stopped him from ever being able to run again, let alone play football, or achieve his dream of playing for the national side. Mozi had expected his brother to idolise him, but instead found Jon to be more interested in burning wasps and listening to heavy metal. Different strokes.

"You should ease off on that stuff" said Mozi, twirlng an empty bottle of Dr. Pepper between his fingers. "That stuff sends you loopy"
"Not drinking is what sends me loopy" replied Jon
"You seriously expect me to believe that you haven't smuggled some godawful made-in-a-bathtub vodka into that 'martini'" asked Mozi, an eyebrow raised. Jon guffawed and gave his older brother an ironic smile.
"Normally you'd be right, brumano. Action's dried up, so it has. No' had a whiff in a month. Cops are all over the shore. Laws in this country are weird".
Mozi had to concede the point, both on the lack of alcohol in Jon's drink - Mozi hadn't actually been able to smell anything, but had put that down to it being from an awkwardly sterilised batch - and the strangeness of Kjeligsted's laws. 'somewhere between Shariah law, a Reagan wet dream and Lord of the Flies" one commenter had said. He wasn't far wrong. No booze, very little in the way of red meat, but plenty of oil money. That was what had kept the Audioslavian national team on the isle, rather than moving to the brighter lights of Cathair or Ceilerden, down towards the south side of the mainland.
"Might be changing soon, though" said Jon, perking up, "heard tell of an operation coming ootae Colourbums"
"Colourbums? What?"
"Aye, colourbums"
"You mean Calorborne?"
"Aye, s'whit a said"
"Well whatever that particular 'operation' is, Jon, you want nothing to do with it. Nothing good could ever come out of Calorborne"

---

Many miles away, on a tiny island in Rushmore, an old man by the name of 'Jeremy' and a horse were busily constructing and re-constructing a graph. The graph indicated a very particular and methodical approach to transporting component parts of a certain 'thing' to Kjeligsted, and 'manufacturing' that thing on the island. Satisfied with their completed with, the old man and the horse exchange a 'high-five', an action that forces the old man into a short trip to a hospital for blunt force trauma to the right hand. The horse, in all fairness, was the one to carry him to said hospital.
"Least you could fuggin do" said the old man, wrapping his old mackintosh around his stricken hand.

The horse left Jeremy at the door. On Jeremy's orders (ones being followed out of pity - there had yet to be an agreement between the two parties as to who was 'running' the operation), that horse had some business to attend to.

To be continued

[Maklohi Vai]

Part 1

The retirement party for A'auwo went down without a hitch. The team was gathered, there was some food and a couple speechs, some reminiscing. Nobody brought up the topic of his replacement, but Rimolanao could tell it was on a lot of people's minds. They shot him looks with leading glances, as if asking a non verbal question. Tomorrow, it would come, he wanted to tell them, but this party was for the retiring player.

The next morning, the team gathered for their usual 9 am practice. Those who had been there early, which was most of the team, ran in from their various workouts to go to the coach's meeting place on the sideline.

"Ok, guys, so we've got the Des Monts Ila Vai Cup in only 6 days. We're going to be more prepared than Sicoutimont, right?"
*mumbles of agreement*
"So that's what we're focusing on today. Now, obviously last night we sent off A'auwo. He'll be missed." The coach paused.

"I know a lot of you are interested in his replacement. That's normal, I would be wondering too. So, I'll tell you guys that I have a primary candidate, but he hasn't been contacted yet. I can't tell you his name right now. Hopefully we'll have something set by tomorrow's practice. Now, I wa----"

"Coach, is he going to be here before the DMIVC? We need to get acquainted with the new team member."

"You do. We'll do our best to get him here on time."

"What if he doesn't show?"

"Then we'll be a man short for the DMIVC. It's not the end of the world. Now, you guys need to go practice. I have a phone call to make."

The coach sidled away from the field and into his office. He pulled out the paper he had compiled the previous day on Klaus Lomupakani-Wagner: Age, 20. Height, 6'3". Weight, 215. Kicks right. Strong passer, accurate shooter. Dribbling could be improved. Then there was his phone number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Klaus, this is Coach Rimolanao Lomokanapai of the Maklohi Vai national team."

"Oh, hello coach. This is a surprising call."

"I know it is. Klaus, I'm calling because I want to ask you a question, but I'll get to that in a second. First, I want to let you know that midfielder A'auwo Malowai retired from the national team yesterday. It was rather abrupt."

"I'm sorry to hear that. He was a favorite player of mine."

"Good to hear. He's a nice role model. Klaus, we've been very impressed with your performance on the U21 team, and of course your successes before that. You've shown hard work, a lot of effort, and obviously some resiliency with the issues you have faced. It's clear you are rising quickly."

"Thank you for the compliments, coach. It means a lot that you've noticed that."

"Well, Klaus, I think you're ready for the next step up, and the FA President agrees with me. Klaus, would you like a spot on the national team?"

There was a slight pause. "Wow. Wow. That's just... Wow. Coach, I'd... I'd love the spot, of course. Thank you so much."

"Good, we're glad to have you. Be at the field at 9 tomorrow. Practice awaits."
*click*

---

"Mom, mom, I've got news."

"What is it?"

"They've asked me to join the national team!"

"OH MY GOODNESS! Klaus, I'm so proud of you!" They hugged.

"Thanks mom. I report 9am for practice tomorrow."

"Oh, oh, oh. That's wonderful. Did the coach just call you or something?"

"Yes, he did. It was a bit of a shock at first, you know."

"I'd imagine. But at the same time not so much. You've done so well on the U21 team."

"Well, I knew I was holding my ow weight, but this was just another step."

"You should be so proud of all your work."

"I know. Thank you, mom. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm so happy for you, Klaus. Especially after all you've been through."

Klaus paused. This was the only bad part of accepting the offer: international hecklers. There were more of them than in Maklohi Vai, and they would be more vicious. A lot more vicious. It would no longer be only Kraut or F**ner. They would come up with other things, and Klaus would have to endure.

"Yeah, mom. I think I can handle it."

"I know you can. Go get 'em."

[Falconwhereveryouare]

The Eagle's Eye
Falcus' #1 Newspaper!
SPORTS
Mechelen spinning their tires

By Otis Birmingham

For a team that made it to the Round of 16 in the Baptism of Fire (we only made it one stage further in BoF47), the Mechelen Men sure are struggling out of the gate. After the Falcon's absence from World Cup 64, our prestige has gone down a bit, and many expected these new young-guns to pull out at least a tie on their home ground (which, annoyingly, they did not release to the public. I was the only Falconian fan there, thanks to my connections with the team). But we pulled the away win off, largely due to some brilliant work by the midfield. Edwardo Baez had the game working almost exactly the way he wanted, with the Falcons keeping possession for nearly seventy percent of the game--the only part he couldn't control was the forward's accuracy. Zdenko Aleshire was everywhere but in the net, skying shot after perfectly set-up shot and exasperating everyone on the team. As the game approached the eightieth minute and was still somehow a scoreless draw, Falconian manager David Radic decided it was time for a shakeup. He signaled for Darry Kouzmanoff to kick the ball out, confident that they could regain possession quickly, and brought in the often under-rated Helving striker Spyridon Jovanovich for the ailing Aleshire. It paid off tremendously. Severi Næss, who recently joined teammate Atticus Koenigsted at Ittuributa United, stole the ball from Mark van Dijk within a minute of Pieter Bakker's throw-in and lobbed it up to José Abelló. Abelló streaked down the sideline and launched a beautiful cross over to Jovanovich in the box, who barely cleared a leaping Benjamin de Jong to head the ball at the Mechelaarse goal. It wasn't a rocket, but the ball's momentum was carrying it to the right pole. Ad van de Laar was scrambling to it, but just couldn't quite make it as the ball bounced just inside the pole and rolled to the back of the net. Jovanovich's celebratory cartwheel ended on the bench while Joaquin Pelletier came on to help protect the lead, and the Mechelaarse couldn't muster up a decent chance in the dwindling minutes.

Falconwhereveryouare - 1
Jovanovich, 83'
Mechelen - 0

[Lymantatia]

Colland 0–2 Lymantatia
Posted at 9:00pm 2013 June 10 - Lymantatia has won its Matchday 2 game which is against Colland. We are on a winning spree.
Goalscorers
28 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
50 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
Current Statistics
Average number of time of goals: 48 minutes
Average number of time of goals by other teams: 0 minutes
Most goals by person on Lymantatia's team: Jacques Bressler (3)
Comments
Less than a minute ago - That means we might not win.
2 minutes ago - The next game is against NMS.
3 minutes ago - Why?
4 minutes ago - Wrong.
7 minutes ago - Well, they haven't lost, right
IC Time is 9:00pm 2013 June 20

[United Gordonopia]

The Beautiful Game: A History of Football in Gordonopia
By Dr. Frank Donaugh, Imperial University

Chapter II - Mainland Trickle

While football was firmly established as the main mode of entertainment and sport in New Gordonopia by the turn of the century, it had yet to make the leap to any other Gordonopian possessions. Several individuals would change that over the next half-decade. Soon, the sport would begin a long ascent to the pinnacle of Gordonopia's culture.

The first of two men considered to be the 'fathers' of football in Gordonopia-proper was Lieutenant Edwin Manley. A soldier by trade, Manley was stationed to New Gordonopia's colonial garrison from 1899 until early-1901. During that time, Manley had the opportunity to experience the emerging local football scene, and on breaks he often participated in matches. After his posting ended, Manley retired his commission and returned to his home in Gordonopia City.

As he sought new employment, Manley spent his free time teaching a number of acquaintances and neighbors the 'exotic' game he had picked up. During that era, commonly referred to in Gordonopia as the 'Second Golden Age of Expansion', 'colonial' carried with it a hint of mystery and excitement. By February, 1902, Manley had put together enough individuals to form the Gordonopia Football Club. Today, Gordonopia FC lives on as one of the top clubs in the Gordonopia Premier League.

Later that year, several members of the club split off to form their own club, the Football Club of Gordonopia City, today FC Gordonopia City. The two clubs played their first match in front of 150 spectators on November 6, and the oldest rivalry in Gordonopian football began.

Further to the North, another major center for football emerged independent of Manley's import. Gordonopia's 'Second City', Deska, is to this day well known for mining as one of its major industries, and during the Second Golden Age agents from many of the city's mining corporations made trips to various new colonies in search of new avenues for profit. One of these agents, a representative of Lawson Metal Extraction, was Georg Faulkner.

Faulkner was introduced to football in March of 1902 when he made a business trip to New Gordonopia. While it may have been fruitless as far as his company was concerned, Faulker returned several months later enamored with the local obsession. On October 9th, he got together several of his coworkers to teach and play the first game of football outside of the capitol.

Like in Gordonopia City, the early growth in Deska was fueled largely by the 'exotic' background of a sport coming from a colony. Falukner and his compatriots began teaching the game to other employees at their and rival companies, and by summer of 1903 a small intramural league had formed between four of the city's mining companies. On April 3rd, 1904, thirty of the best players from these teams formed the Football Club of Deska, the first organized club outside of Gordonopia City.

The first roots for football had been planted in two of Gordonopia's cultural centers. Now they had to grow.

[Ossidiacqua]

Miserabili: The musical of the Acquan World Cup 65 qualification saga
And yes, that is an excuse to visualise Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re as Idris Elba in a Pope Hat

SCENE FOUR:
An exuberant dressing room in Milchama following La Renaissance's victory over the top seeds.

[PLAYERS]
At the end of the day we're another match older,
And that's ninety minutes of kicking a ball.
It's a struggle, it's a war,
And if we want to get to Pasarga,
Then we're going to lots of goals, and lots of points.
One match less needing winning.

At the end of the match we've another three points now,
And the shirts on our backs have all been exchanged.
And our strikers hurried past,
And our defenders sent their ones flying,
And the matches are coming on fast, we're ready to win.
One day nearer to Saugeais!

At the end of the match there's another force dawning,
And the badge hanging over our heart is just waiting to rise.
Like the players that came before us,
Like a storm that'll break any second.
We've a hunger that's all Acquan,
We're a reckoning yet to be reckoned and,
There's gonna be hell to pay...
That's la Renaissance way!

[VELASQUEZ]
At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing,
Playing flat on our arse wouldn't get us the win.

[FONSECA]
But I whipped the crosses in,

[FINIGUERRA]
And I converted two with my head.

[MONTEMAYOR]
And I was lucky to clear off the line,

[PANTANI]
Oh, just a tad.

[PLAYERS]
We were counting our blessings!

[POLANCO]
Did you see how their keeper was fuming today?
With positioning bad and his big flapping hands?

[FISICHELLA]
It's because his defence wouldn't get in the way.

[CAPOBIANCO]
He was lucky that my shot ended up in the stands!

[BORROMEO]
And the boss, he is away,
But I'm he'd be proud had he seen that.

[VELASQUEZ]
If Vega doesn't know yet,
Well we'll have to make sure
That he knows who we beat!

[PLAYERS]
At the end of the match we have beaten Milchama,
With enough in our pockets to take to next week
We can fly home, hold our heads up,
Keep on grafting and racking the points up.
Keep on going we can win this,
Or else we won't top the gorup table.
And we're going to win every day...
When we play it our way!


[Meanwhile, cut to Yoann Vega, under house arrest in Sant'Elia, being handed a communication by a guard.]

[VEGA]
And what have we here, a communication?
Come on Guard, let me read all the news!

[Reading the letter]

Ooh..."Team played in Milchama...
Team needs the three points..."
Guard this tells me no news!

[GUARD]
Give that letter to me,
You have read quite enough now.
When you're under arrest,
You don't get things to read!
Is there anyone there,
Who will care that you know?
Who will send you the news,
That we'll then let get through?

[They fight over the letter. Giocomo Re enters.]

[RE]
Will someone tear these two apart,
What is this fighting all about?
This is a prison, not a circus!
Now, come on Vega, settle down.
I have you here for a reason,
I am the ruler of this state.
I want control of all the football,
I'll withhold from you what I want.

[GUARD]
Now tell your ruler why you're crying!

[VEGA]
At the end of the day,
I am still none the wiser.
Whether my team has won,
Or whether they've lost.
It's the top seed they had to play,
And you know how badly they travel.
I just need to know how it went,
Whether they won.
And then I will stay quiet.

[RE]
Yes it's true that they played,
And the results have come in, now.
But I'll keep all the scorers,
and times to myself.
It can get you upset,
It causes me joy,
And keeps you on your toes,
What's the matter with that?

[VEGA]
By the end of the week
I'll be nothing but trouble,
And if there's trouble for you
Then there's trouble for all!
I'll go making daily rows,
And I'll try to find out the score somehow.
And one day I'll escape from here,
And then you can't stop me at all.
And I'll find out where they're going...
At the end of the group!

[Back in the dressing room in Milchama]

[PLAYERS]
We are the team that has the bite,
We are the team that has the claws.
And if we can beat Milchama,
We can push on past our flaws.
We'll drill ourselves so hard and long,
We'll make them fear our pace and clout.
We're the ones they're talking about.
We play Lukquarel next game,
And we will beat them just the same.

[VELASQUEZ]
We can focus our song,
While our coaches are gone.

[PLAYERS]
If we train we can win again and again.

[VELASQUEZ]
You must work hard for that,

[PLAYERS]
Let's get started today!

[VELASQUEZ]
Right my friends... let's win our way!

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Gazzette

Mangolana dominates cave-men, prepare for first home game

The Mangolana national team has raised the bar this time around. After winning their first match on the road, Mangolana headed to Lukquarel not knowing what to expect. Mangolana had never played the unknown nation before the match, and many on the team had never even heard of the unranked countries name. Upon arriving in Lukquarel, the national team was exposed to the countries sad ways, in which most of the country lives in poverty and is decades maybe centuries behind the world in its technology level. In fact the stadium where the match was played was a farm pasture. The pitch was dirt with the occasional corn stalk laying around. The opposing team had no such uniform or cloth for that matter, but by looks, looked to be pulled up from under a rock. They possessed only a slim cloth along their waist, a loincloth to be exact. The opposition also carried around with them a large wooden club. Any challenge on them was taken very lightly by the Mangolana players as they feared injury by the hand of the wooden club. The crowd for the match numbered a few hundred, but many were so poor they had no idea what the sport was or how it was played, so they remained their with dumb looks on their faces.

The match however, whether or not there was some intimidation against the Mangolana players, Mangolana dominated the match as a whole. Mangolana dominated for 87% of the possession, as they would recieve the ball back almost instantly thanks to Lukquarel need to pick the ball up all the time. The highlight of the match for the home side came when the home teams striker/bruiser decided he had enough of the referee's whistle, and so, smashed the referee's whistle with his club, by using the referee's head as a platform for the whistle. Both the referee and striker were removed from the game, one by way of ejection, the other by way of wheelbarrow (See Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail). The second referee was forced to take over, and, as a result was a little lighter on blowing his whistle. Mangolana would however score three goals into the opponents net, which was made of two wooden posts and what appeared to be knotted human back hair. The back hair's source is unknown.

The Mangolana goals would all be scored in the last three minutes of the second half. The team could have scored at any time, but feared the fact that Lukquarel players would attack with their clubs. The first Mangolana goal would come in the 87th minute off a great strike by JD Fuller from within the box and past the Goalkeepers baseball style swing and into the net. Mangolana's second goal came in the 88th minute when Tappy Shogun scored a goal to close the gap to 9 between him and Franklim Ordonez, Mangolana leading all-time goalscorer. The final goal would come in the 89th minute thanks to Brett Mallons rocket shot from midfield that bounced twice, and headed into the net because of the backswing from the Lukquarel goalkeepers club. Following the game, the Mangolana players would be chased back to the team bus by the Lukquarel players and their clubs. Mangolana would thankfully arrive home safe though, and with all limbs intact as they prepare for their next game against Tyrrin.

[Beaverriver]

At the visitors' training facility in Worszary after training

"Hey Gabrial. How are you doing?" asked Ralph Cuemuch as he walked over to Gabrial
"Not fine and I don't want to talk about it" replied Gabrial Novez.
"Why don't you want to talk to about your problems?" asked Ralph wanting to help.
"Because it's a very personal and private problem" replied Gabrial in a more angry tone of voice.
"Is it caused by your drinking problems?" Ralph questioned.
"I don't drink alcohol at all" yelling at Ralph. The entire team started to look towards them. On the other side of the pitch talking to Herman Shelt, Zach Heckinson is starting to get concerned about the situation.
"Everyone on the team saw you drink beer at the lodge a few nights ago!" exclaimed Ralph. Gabrial's knuckles tighten up. Zach is starting to head over to the situation.
"That was a can of root beer, you jerk!" Gabrial yelled.
"No that was a can of Rotten Leaf, clearly a can of beer." Ralph defensively shouted, Gabrial suddenly releases a punch to the face. Ralph fell down immediately and blood oozing out of the noise. Zach sprinted over to Ralph and kneel down to help Ralph clean up the blood off his face using some tissues he has on him
"Rose, call the medics!" Zach commanded. "Jean Baptiste and Levi Elias, keep Gabrial from escaping!"
Rose pulled out her myPhone and called the medics. Meanwhile Gabrial was getting pinned down by Jean, Levi, and Cascan Kaiser until security arrive to the scene to take away Gabrial. How Long was passed out on the ground, probably due to the blood coming out of Ralph's face. Ambulances started to appear in front of the training facility. The medics blast the doors open and take out the stretcher for Ralph. Two black hair medics put down the stretcher and they picked up Ralph by the head and feet and gently place him on the stretcher. Ralph begin to sit up and touch his face. He looked at his blood covered fingers and lay back down again looking a little concerned. The other medic talked to Zach about How Long. Zach said to not worry about him because he pass out when he sees blood. The rest of the team is very concerned about both teammates, especially Ralph.
"Do you have any plans on what to do about this incident, Coach?" asked Bark Wiley
"I'm going to kick Gabrial off the team and call several guys up to the team. For the match, I will put Ian and Herman onto the bench and hope that Ralph recovers from this incident." Zach answered.

RP/OOC Note: Gabrial Novez will not be available for selection on any future squad for Beaverriver and Wes TY. The new players will not be part of the starters or on the bench for next game.

[Kinitaria]

A History of Kinitar Football in Eighteen Objects
Two: The trophy

Trophies are what makes the game of football worthwhile for many fans. The basic essence of competition – a long, hard slog over the course of the season – is what inspires fans and players alike to strive for glory. Indeed, without any sort of competitions, there wouldn’t be any glory to speak of in the first place. So Kinitar football owes a certain debt to its university teams who, as mentioned in the previous chapter, formed the first football competition of any kind in Kinitaria. The Universities’ Cup (as it is now known, amongst those who are interested in collegiate football, which isn’t a great deal of people who aren’t connected with one of the teams) had been going strong for some three years by 3358, and interest about the idea of forming a similar competition for the growing number of club teams which were being formed around the country was on the increase.

That same year, the founder and president of the Damaciu Sports Group sent out a letter to a number of Kinitaria’s most prominent football clubs, inviting them to take part in a competition similar to the one already established in the nation’s educational institutions. He said that, “owing to the increasing need of our Clubs to engage themselves in active competition, I propose the establishment of a Clubs’ Football Tournament, organised along the model of the Universities’ competition, to which any Club in the country should be invited to compete”. This idea was received superbly by many clubs in the country, and a meeting was held at the Station Hotel in the country’s capital, Mi’ato, towards the end of that year. Representatives from some 27 clubs are reported to have attended the meeting, which was called with the purpose of organising this new proposed competition. It is a meeting which would be a turning point for Kinitar football. One delegate – it is not known who – argued that the smooth running of this competition would be impossible without some sort of body to control football throughout the country. And so, that day in 3358, the Kinitar Football Federation was born.

For all the grievances – and they are legion – that fans have against the Federation, they should possibly also take the time to consider that, without any Federation, there wouldn’t be organised football in Kinitaria. It is a historic organisation which has done a lot to promote the development of football throughout the nation, and the sport would certainly be in a much worse state if it had never existed. The modern Federation could use some work, naturally, but hard as it may be to believe, back in those dawning days of Kinitar football, the Federation was seen as the bastion of the game. The meeting to organise a competition, incidentally, did not result in any competitions being organised. It was decided that the power to do this rested with the newly-created Federation, and so any competition should be organised through that body.

Accordingly, the Federation met early in 3359 with the aim of thrashing out a set of rules for this new competition. The delegates came from some 34 clubs, this time, most based around the south and east of the country. (This discrepancy is still somewhat present today – south-eastern clubs tend to dominate the football landscape, much to the annoyance of everyone else, given that it’s also the most prosperous region of the country and the one that has the government. But that’s a rant for a different book.) The general consensus at that meeting was to hold the competition on the same lines as the universities’ tournament (meaning a knockout tournament), the issue being that there were 34 teams present at the meeting, all of whom wished to compete. It was decided that the fairest solution to this was to draw out four teams at random to play each other in the first round, everyone else getting a bye to the second. This proposal was eventually accepted by delegates, and the first-ever Federation Cup was planned to run throughout 3359. (Incidentally, this is where the convention of the Kinitar game running to a summer season came from in the first place. Competitions were scheduled to run through the year rather than spanning two years. In the future, when people decided this kind of thing was an issue now, no-one saw any point in fixing what wasn’t broken.)

In the end, one club – Athletic Club Vanuku – who were not present at the meeting decided that they also wished to join the Federation Cup. There were no withdrawals, so 35 teams entered the hat for the first (and second) round draw for the first competition in the history of Kinitar club football. Six were to be drawn out at random to contest the first round and get the competition down to a workable 32 teams. These would be SC Tirinthea v. Junulara, AC Litora v. Kelmisberg, and Kemerova Sport v. Kaniu AC. Prior to the beginning of the tournament, very little was known about the teams, with only their performances in friendly matches available to compare any one team with another, which is hardly a satisfactory comparison. Sport Union of Mi’ato were heavily favoured going into the tournament, as were AS Avnani, who had both given very good accounts of themselves in friendly matches, and a great deal of interested speculation can be found in newspaper articles of the time. The Avnani Record told us before the start of the competition that, “interest is building in this novel idea of a football knock-out tournament, and the local side from the Sports Association in Avnani are tipped by many as strong favourites to make good progress in the competition, their record in exhibition games considered as one of the strongest in the country”. But, as any football fan should know, friendlies are not a good way to make comparisons between teams.

And so, the first ever competitive club match to take place in Kinitaria was held between Athletic Club Litora and a representative team from the city of Kelmisberg, at the Recreation Field, Litora. It was an astonishing event. Some 22,000 spectators showed up – then a record for a football match in Kinitaria – and watched along the sidelines, separated from the players by only a length of rope which ran around the pitch. One report states that the players, especially those from Kelmisberg (the crowd was strictly partisan even then) had to get the crowd to move aside so that throw-ins could be taken, although this is possibly an exaggeration. Whatever the case, it was Litora who scored first, much to the delight of the watching home crowd, and it was Zemut Koril who took the honour of being the first man to score a competitive goal in Kinitaria. Reports differ as to when exactly the goal was scored, but it was almost certainly within the first five minutes of the game. Although the visitors would equalise soon after, it turned out to be a bit of a mismatch in the end, and by the time the final whistle was blown, Litora had romped home 8-2 winners, Koril grabbing himself three goals (not a hat-trick, and he did not receive the match ball for his efforts, for the term had not yet reached Kinitar shores).

The other preliminary matches were slightly tamer affairs, but were still attended by crowds in excess of twenty thousand, which was the number that saw Kemerova defeat Kaniu 3-1. It was a game made remarkable by a number of free-kicks which had to be given against the Kaniu side, according to reports from the time, although an organised disciplinary system obviously did not exist at the time. Apparently the Kaniu team had no qualms about hacking – the deliberate kicking of an opponent’s shin – whereas the referee did. The source of the problem was that football was played with marginally different rules across the country, mostly reflecting regional variation. Sorting this out became one of the Federation’s issues later that year. Wishing to bring Kinitaria in line with the rest of the region, they adopted a standardised set of rules which were essentially the same as those already in use around the rest of Atlantian Oceania. The third and final preliminary match, meanwhile, caused a major headache for the Federation, because it finished 2-2, and they had not planned for draws. The hastily-assembled Federation told the two teams to play the match again, and from now on, if a match was drawn, they would play on until someone scored. This rule turned out to be needed in the replay, SC Tirinthea emerging victorious against Junulara, 3-2 after 130 minutes.

The business of the preliminary phase over and done with, attention could now turn to the first round (or, as it was called then, second round). A chance to see the best teams in the country in action, and SU Mi’ato were given a great opportunity to do that when they were drawn against a village team from a place called Adanča, which had a population of about 2,700, which was tiny even for the time. Nowadays, there’s all the talk about the romance of the Cup, but history had not been established yet, and no-one had a place in their heart for the underdog. The side from the capital won 11-2. Elsewhere, AS Avnani romped home 7-0 against the representatives of Paleu, a mining city in the far north, while another fancied team in the form of SC Serenberg could only squeeze past Mereseni, 2-1 after 152 minutes of play. The team from the port town of Liadova, meanwhile, were handed a bye after their opponents Bluveld withdrew, citing travel costs.

The competition progressed fairly smoothly, with no major headaches arising for the Federation to deal with (they would come later). A quarter-final match between Tirinthea and Avnani was the main source of controversy, with Avnani 2-1 up and a Tirinthea striker about to shoot, when 90 minutes arrived and the referee blew for full-time. The concept of added time hadn’t been invented yet, and the rules stated that games would stop after 90 minutes. Tirinthea were not pleased, but they knew what the rules said and they played by the same rules as everyone else. (This would change later, after several other high-profile incidents.) Avnani would eventually win their way through to the final, where they would meet Serenberg at home. Neutral grounds for finals were not a thing yet, but they would be introduced the next year.

Avnani had scored 20 goals in their four matches leading up to the final, conceding only one. Serenberg, in contrast, had won three of their matches by a one-goal margin, two of those winning goals coming in extra time. But both were regarded as very capable sides, and many neutrals thought Serenberg had a good chance of sneaking it. About 35,000 were reported to have attended the final, squeezed in to stand around what was essentially a large field with ropes the only thing separating the fans from the pitch. (At least space enough was left for them to take throw-ins...) It was a thrilling affair by any account. Although Serenberg took the lead through their inside-right, Milo Durič, Avnani quickly responded and the score was 2-2 within 25 minutes. The hosts would add another through Kristijan Malev shortly before half-time, making it 3-2 when the teams changed around. The second half was not to be such a thrilling spectacle, with both teams largely cancelling each other out and, when time wore on, the home crowd refusing to hand back the balls that went over the rope. Given that added time was not permitted, this was a very effective strategy. These tactics seemed to get to the Serenberg team, and Malev added a fourth before the end to confirm Avnani’s victory.

Serenberg would launch a protest after the game, which was dismissed, but is also the reason why cup finals are always played at neutral grounds now. Avnani would write themselves into history as the first ever competition winners in Kinitaria. And the Federation Cup would move from strength to strength. But some people wanted more, and one man had an idea.

[New Montreal States]

INTERCEPTIONS DOOM GUNSLINGING FAVRES ON ROAD IN DOME

Paladins beat Farfadillis 3-1; Boucher out for first half of qualifiers with torn ACL

NEW MONTREAL - On a day when elites squads faced off against each other across the multiverse, the Paladins held serve at the Paladin Dome against Farfadillis 3-1. Amelio Quagliata Jr. led the scoring with a first-half brace, his first two goals of the tournament. John Randle-Cunningham continued his torrid start to qualifiers with an insurance goal in the 62nd minute, his third in the first two matches.

Everything looked to be smooth sailing from there, but less than three minutes later the Favres launched a late-game surge down the pitch. After deflecting a shot from La Vherderoja's Vasilije Østergård - a garbage-time substitution for the Favres - Séraphin Boucher got tangled up with Ichi Tuzzio while they were both leaping for the subsequent corner. Boucher came down hard on his left knee, and was stretchered off during the next stoppage of play. Isidore Lorimier came in as his replacement, and looked extremely rusty during the final twenty-odd minutes of play.

His worst moment came during the 80th minute, when he tripped over himself and fell down while trying to cover Ikkon Karrka in transition down the pitch. Karrka was able to quickly collect the ball from Gâyö Mî and relay it across the box to Østergård who easily tapped it in to the back of the Paladins' net.

Mî and Karrka's relays were just about the only passes that went where they were supposed to for the Favres, whose midfield was almost entirely bottled up until Boucher's injury. The back three - usually a source of nonstop troubles for the 'States - buckled down and did their jobs admirably. Every ground-pass attempt by la Vherderoja ended up either deflected or firmly on the foot of a Paladins' defender.

Boucher, usually taken for granted by most Paladins' fans, was sorely missed for the last twenty minutes of play. Manager André Vaillancourt-Bosquet will be hard pressed to find a replacement for him on the fly as the Paladins travel to Lymantatia for their first road game of qualfiers.

[Aels]

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Ad’ihan

Smash-and-grab? No, just smash

The IOM Sports Association 1
Aels 5
– On neutral ground

SERGYEI Arefev got his way in the end. After no further details were forthcoming from the secretive "IOM Sports Association" about what country they represented or where the qualifying match against Aels would be held, Arefev and bigwigs at the FCA successfully persuaded former World Cup participant and host nation Ad’ihan to host the match neutrally.

It also meant that nearly all of the 6,500 fans who made the trip to Riverston were Aelsh, creating a one-sided support of the nominally away team which any cynic would say was Arefev's intention in the first place. Not that anyone could be heard complaining, for even the IOM Sports Association said nothing, rather following its recent trend.

And certainly not the Aels fans. Why would they, having just seen their team play out a record margin of victory? One wonders what the media in the secret state behind the IOM Sports Association would be saying. Maybe they would claim it was smash-and-grab, that their lads had played well.

Far from it, though. It wasn't smash and grab… it was simply smash. And for once, captain and Aels football legend Elwyn Richard had little part to play, for he was mostly on the bench during the match. Richard did still set up the fifth and final Aelsh goal by winning a penalty which Aled Jones, not the regular taker, converted for his hat-trick.

Not that the Aelsh weren't given a little scare, as they went behind to an early goal by the IOM centre-half, headed in from what would turn out to be their only corner of the match. But Aels were in the ascendancy for nearly all of the game and the result was never in any doubt once Jones hit a rasping equaliser from fully 30 yards five minutes later and Ciarán O'Connor slammed home a 25-yard free kick.

Rhodri Evans, who wore the armband for the day as team vice-captain, grabbed a third before half time to help ease Arefev's nerves; the coach has admitted recently in the Aelsh press that 2–1 is his "least favourite scoreline, as the players usually lose focus". Not that any such thing was evident in Riverston.

Jones grabbed a streaky second for himself, and a fourth for Aels, when he turned the ball home from three yards after a goalmouth scramble. Richard finally came on for Alun Trevor in the 76th minute to rousing applause, though he declined Evans' offer of the armband. "I was never going to take it unless he came off," Richard said later. "Rhodri was named captain for the match and everyone in the team respects that including myself."

Richard, the team's usual penalty taker, was then brought down by a high boot in the area with three minutes to spare, but insisted Jones take the kick to complete his hat-trick. "I've had the pleasure of scoring an international hat-trick for Aels. I'm never going to take that chance away from anyone else."

On this form, it's hard to imagine Richard won't be a major part of the backroom set-up if he isn't still playing in the next World Cup cycle.

Match ratings: J McConnell 8.5, R Jones 8.0, O Griffiths 7.8, I Maddox (vc) 8.2, HJ Edwards 7.7, C O'Connor 8.6, R Evans (c) 9.0, A Jones 10.0, M Powell 8.0, J Morgan 7.9, A Trevor 8.2; Subs: S Andrews 7.5 (for HJ Edwards), B Thomas 7.8 (for J Morgan), E Richard 8.4 (for A Trevor)
Bookings: HJ Edwards
Goals: A Jones 3, C O'Connor, R Evans

[Karditan]

Sucker Punch sat in front of the wall of TVs at the Calorburnese pub, a crowd of old farts watching the teams of their various ancestries around him. On one screen was Audioslavia scraping a win over Kiryu-shi--I wonder if they were showin' that on the hospital TV--and another was the anti-Sovans channeling the force to overcome the Jedi, but the screen that held his attention was focused on the place they call the South Lawn. There was little reaction in the room when Lorccán Cotterill curled one past Emanuel Portico early in the match, and only Sucker's suppressed groan when Richard Bunsen botched a penalty that could have tied the game. It was probably fair that he missed, as the referee drew the home fans' ire when he called out Chavaqquq Yaval for a rough tackle. Replays showed Yaval hadn't even touched Bunson. And to think a player that short could really topple a bruiser like Bunson? That's just silly. Nevertheless, it seemed like Karditan would really have to earn that elusive away-point-at-the-top-seed. Portico, for his part, really cleaned up as the game went on. Despite several more very serious challenges from Cotterill and a surprise run from Piran MacKenzie (some spectators claimed that the name on his uniform suddenly lost the 'a' when he took the shot, which then returned when Portico caught a hold of it, which prominent football authorities have dismissed as 'bonkers'), the Wightlings couldn't extend their lead any further. A little past the sixty-minute mark, Havr Milosivek found himself at the end of a rare Big John Corfe Sheviock botched pass and (despite the big man's foul stench) ran right past the giant. Climo Coss set upon Milosivek quickly, forcing the Moscolt native to shovel the ball backfield, where Red Trotski came up with it and started forward. Some short-range midfield passing followed, with Yong-Hu Cho, Sweet Swing, and Mario Cansetta all getting touches as play slowly inched toward the Wightling goal.

This is developing too slowly, worried Sucker. If they don't act now the Wightlings'll choke the attack off. As if on cue, Sweet Swing belted the ball forward, where Lightning Heart had been standing more-or-less in the same spot for several minutes, only bothering to move when defender movements threatened to put him offsides. Marriner Friend-Forsaken was indeed further goalside than the buffalo at the time of the pass, and was the only Wightling between Heart and the goal (as the others seemed to have fallen into the vision trap that T-Rexes were rumoured to have). Yes, that's it! Lightning's got enough room to get up to speed. This goal's as good as done. And Sucker's confidence only flickered slightly in the face of Friend-Forsaken giving Heart the strongest challenge he's ever faced, but when the bison's breath started coming out red the Wightling decided he wanted to play another day. He put on the afterburners to put a little more bufferspace between himself and the charging hunk of meat, which also gave Heart just enough room to lash out at the ball and slam it into the goal. Even with the shot starting just outside the box, Antrim Quentine barely had time to register something had happened when the ball nearly burned a hole in the net.

Not easily discouraged, the Wightlings mounted a massive effort to get back their rightful three points. Sucker was proud to see that Morrgo-Gerrna, despite coming from a nation known for attacking football, had kept the Karditani defensive sharp enough to hold up under pressure. Porfirio Mendoza called a great counter to the staunch Wightling attack, boxing off the box and keeping Cotterill covered at all times. The Sondry midfield was consistently forced to try from well outside, while consistently recovering the Karditani clearances. Play came to a close with a string of corners bearing down on the Karditani goal, which brought a heavy sweat to Sucker's forehead, but Portico held strong between posts. As the final whistle blew, the semi-retired unicorn figured he should follow his own advice, and stop this dilly-dallying. It's time to get this plan underway, regardless of how intact my partner's hand is.

[Kalumba]

On The Lash With The Lads

Wahey a feckin win, and away too. Sure it was against unranked Kiziboi, twatish name if you ask me but who cares. Three points and third in the group. It can't last, but it looks good for the record books. And a hattrick for veteran Kevin Davis, everybody doubted him last time out and he proved them and he's doing it again this time.

And let me say the beer in than hellish land is terrible, nothing on a good warm Kalumban ale, and pricey too. Over two hundred Shillings pissed away and we were still faar from bladdered. And their fans were a bunch of soft arsed pricks as well. Not a single decent barney to be had anywhere and their police force were like the Bechuaneland Constabulary at the height of The Emergency, absolute canute's.

And no birds to be had in any of the pubs, at best there were thrupenny whores purveying their wares at the airport, but by then time the handcuffs were off we were back on the plane home.

Till the next time,

Mr Spleen
O, the views of Mr Spleen should be ignored in their entirety he is a terrible drunkard.

[Kiryu-shi]

“What was that?! Again! Run the drill again, until every one of you can manage a single touch, nothing more, nothing less! I want to see passes that actually connect the next time we face a quality squad. I don’t think I’ll survive another disaster like last week.”

The looks on the faces of Reah’s squad were starting to verge on hatred, but she knew they couldn’t argue. They were just as aware as she was regarding the dismal quality of the play against Audioslavia. Really, it was a miracle that they were within ten minutes of a scoreless draw. She knew that the way that they played should be enough to beat lower level squads who wouldn’t be able to capitalize on mistakes and sloppy passes, but against a team like Audioslavia, well, there wouldn’t be another match like last week, that was for sure.

The squad certainly wan’t aware, however, how close to the truth her last statement was. It had been, well, it had been at least three years since Reah had gone a single 24 hour span without relaxing with some alcohol. It wasn’t a dependency, but… It certainly didn’t help matters.

They were back home now, though, and would be for a couple more weeks. A match against Magnustan, who had the dubious honor of occupying the cellar of the group after two weeks, with losses of two nil and three nil to start them off. The scouting reports had been fairly bland; the Kiryu-shi Football Administration hadn’t provided much of a budget for professional scouts, and most of the resources had gone towards Audioslavia and Cassadaigua, of course.

Cassadaigua would be after Magnustan, of course. They weren’t a team to be taken lightly, of course, with their formidable pedigree. But at least the Kiri would be at home, and there would be no arcane laws regarding a prohibition of any substance that may as well be necessary for the functioning of any civilized society.

Not that Reah could drink openly here, of course. But her flask was well stocked, and as far as she knew, only Josh knew anything about it. And that was how she would keep it.

“AGAIN!”

As she turned away from the pitch, content to let her team figure it out on their own, she lifted her sleeve to her mouth…