World Cup 64 RP Thread

by **Lymantatia** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:00 pm

Chapter 13 - 12th Grade (2000-2001)
He was now in 12th Grade, still had Marina Renault. Alexander O'Connor, Jennifer Lawrence and Haruka Aikawa as his best friends, and was a master computer programmer. I decided to go to Connorstown University. During the summer Elizabethville Junior United won their 111st championship.
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Kindergarten (1988-1989)
Chapter 2 - 1st Grade (1989-1990)
Chapter 3 - 2nd Grade (1990-1991)
Chapter 4 - 3rd Grade (1991-1992)
Chapter 5 - 4th Grade (1992-1993)
Chapter 6 - 5th Grade (1993-1994)
Chapter 7 - 6th Grade (1994-1995)
Chapter 8 - 7th Grade (1995-1996)
Chapter 9 - 8th Grade (1996-1997)
Chapter 10-11 - 9th and 10th Grade (1997-1999)
Chapter 12 - 11th Grade (1999-2000)
Chapter 13 - 12th Grade (2000-2001)
Chapter 14 - Freshman-Sophomore College (2001-2003)
Chapter 15 - Junior-Senior College (2003-2005)
Chapter 16-17 - The Children's Football Team (2005-2010)
Chapter 18 - Marriage (2010-)
Lymantatia 1–0 The Gypsies and The Monopoly 0–3 Lymantatia
We have defeated the Gypsies and the Monopoly.
Goalscorers (Matchday 13)
18 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
Goalscorers (Matchday 14)
31 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
46 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
51 mins - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
Current Statistics
Average number of time of goals: 42 minutes
Average number of time of goals by other teams: 33 minutes
Most goals by person on Lymantatia's team: Jacques Bressler (21)

by **The Sova Empire** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:44 pm

Postgame interviews after the 2-1 victory over Kaledor:
REPORTER
PLAYER

First off, congrats on the victory today TM. You got the assist in both goals today, can you tell us about that?
Thank you very much. I want to thank the loyal fans for sticking around. I love that we are a first-year team and already have a fanbase. To the fans: Keep it real! And to respond to your second point, I had phenomenal ball control today. I was able to pass to exactly where I wanted to. That is an invaluable thing that I praise the Lord in heaven for.

Congrats on your victory, MB. You got 2 goals today, anything you want to tell the viewers at home?
Well, thanks! I just want to emphasize how great of teamwork we displayed today. It would be easy to get intimidated about a team that's 79 positions above us. But we stood up and fought, and with the help of our team I was able to put 2 right into the back of the net. Great game guys! And if Greg Sova is watching, I'll meet up with you at the previously agreed upon meeting place in about a half an hour.

Let's talk with CD. You were in goal today, can you tell those watching at home what happened?
Yeah, I caught an easy shot and threw it to KO. She made a lobbing pass that turned into a right-place-at-the-right-time deal for the other team. Their striker calculated the trajectory precisely and bicycle kicked it in at point-blank range. There was nothing I could do. Thankfully, we scored 2 more and were able to hold on to victory.

We have Coach LK here. You are known to be good with numbers, can you tell us anything special about the match?
Of course! With our victory, we are 5-1-8, and have 1 more point than the proverbial "bubble" We have a mathematical chance, but not really a realistic one. However, Kaledor has been eliminated after this match. We are within a point of Lalo Limahina, the 6th place team. We face the Republic of Egpty next, they are the lowest ranked team in the tourney, so we need to win against them to improve our record to 6 wins and hopefully 6th place.

by **Alexanderburn** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:48 pm

Ossidiacqua 3-1 Alexanderburn
Massie (46')
Alexanderburn looks to next game for victory

The streak was good while it lasted, but hopefully tomorrow night's game will be even more interesting!

It was no surprise when Alexanderburn lost to Ossidiacqua in the game tonight. The ANFT entered in the game well-prepared to face a superior opponent, yet the ranking of its challengers - ranked number 53, by the way - played far too great a role in the home side's victory in the match.

Luckily, our national team was able to get one goal past the defense of these superior giants, who played a very fast-paced game full of many offensive attacks. Overall, these two teams line up pretty similarly in terms of the quality of their goalkeepers and defense; however, the midfield players of la Renaissance have numerous advantages over their less organized and experienced counterparts. In fact, the midfield of the Alexanderburnese national team is the only position to have constantly come under fire by nearly every group of people, from national citizens to foreigners, fans to haters, and everything in between.

"I am actually very disappointed with only a few people on the team," responded one man from Langara who we interviewed. "[Marcel] Schroeder has not performed up to par, whereas Holierhoek has been delivering in not only goals but also assists and play-making, making him a much better choice for captain than his more attacking counterpart. Austerlitz has also not followed through in terms of performance this season, but hopefully it's just a seasonal and temporal thing."

Polls and studies across the nation show Torben Frederiksen to be the favorite player of the ANFT, followed by van der Pol, Holierhoek, and Collett. On the list of least favorite athletes of the football team included Sebastian Sirois, who was not chosen to be in this WC qualification line-up, and Dennis Beller, who made appearances in two of the last three World Cups and is in the current line-up. Other lowly-ranked individuals include Schroeder and Girard. Many believe that these individuals display lots of talent themselves, but in terms of cohesive football, they cannot deliver. They lack the creativity and efficiency of their fellow footballers, causing the team to fall behind in important matches.

In other news: the Conservative Party are taking a stand against the Liberal/Progressive coalition, and recently helped to pass a bill that allows religious ideas to be taught in the classroom. A poll showed that approximately 41% of Alexanderburnese support such an idea, whereas 34% believe that there should be more separation of church and state and 20% believe that the connection is not strong enough. 1 in 20 individuals interview provided no response or did not communicate their opinions. However, many believe that this news outlet is portraying the topic in a conservative light and believe that there is an even split between those who promote the awareness of religion in the classroom and those who do not. Here is the expected line-up for tomorrow's match:

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn vs Romantique Belle Vie)

van der Pol / Cremonesi
Jameson / Schroeder (c) / Austerlitz
Holierhoek / Collett
Hooper / Milton / Ebersberger
Nordaglio

Modification: +2

Good luck Alexanderburn!

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:01 pm

Michelle Salad and Princess Amelia Jane Dallas ("Little Amy") watching Jeruselem play Yelvoldia

Amy: Hey fruity, I got a new phone
Michelle: Aren't you too young to have a new phone
Amy: No, I need in case I get in trouble
Michelle: You're always in trouble
Amy: Not that kinds of trouble fruity
Michelle: I know what you mean

Amy: I have one because Mum wants to know where I am
Michelle: I guess you has only one child so far
Amy: I asked for a brother
Michelle: I'm sure she's working on that
Amy: Want some Long Island Iced Tea?
Michelle: No thanks, I don't want more caffeine

Amy: It's very nice. Mainly because I don't drink wine.
Michelle: You can drink it all
Amy: OK then
Michelle: What you doing here anyway?
Amy: I don't want to miss the football game
Michelle: Why am I babysitting then?

Amy: You're not, aunty Katy asked me to harass you
Michelle: You're doing a good job
Amy: Great
Michelle: I'd knew you say that
Amy: Say, what's Apoplectic mean?
Michelle: Why?

Amy: I heard on TV some people at Apoplectic at someone
Michelle: They are really angry
Amy: Oh, how come they don't use angry then?
Michelle: Those people are really really really angry
Amy: I guess, they need Valium then
Michelle: I guess they do

Amy: I met your daughter today
Michelle: Oh Elizabeth
Amy: Yeah, she wanted my autograph
Michelle: I knew she would
Amy: She wants to be a musician
Michelle: I'm no help to her

Amy: I'd say I'd help
Michelle: But you do have talent, I think she doesn't
Amy: Does her dad have any
Michelle: No
Amy: Poor girl
Michelle: She'll find something she can do well

by **Super-Llamaland** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:13 pm

Group 17
Mashiki 3–2 Kialga
The Babbage Islands 2–0 Arcquest
Super-Llamaland 0–1 Branta Island
Astograth 4–0 Melbergia
Geisenfried 2–0 The Alphabet Letters

Group 17 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Babbage Islands 14 12 2 0 32 9 +23 38
2 Geisenfried 14 9 4 1 24 10 +14 31
3 Astograth 14 10 1 3 22 9 +13 31
4 Mashiki 14 10 1 3 40 28 +12 31
5 Branta Island 14 7 2 5 19 15 +4 23
6 Super-Llamaland 14 4 2 8 17 21 −4 14
7 The Alphabet Letters 14 4 2 8 15 29 −14 14
8 Melbergia 14 3 3 8 15 22 −7 12
9 Kialga 14 1 2 11 12 25 −13 5
10 Arcquest 14 0 1 13 7 35 −28 1

LLAMAS KNOCKED OUT 2-0 BY HAND OF BRANTA ISLAND

Nick DeJesus's Heroic Effort Not Enough With Faulty Defense

The defense gave away two goals late to secure elimination for the Llamas.

It was a large disappointment but the Llamas remain in sixth with the loss by The Alphabet Letters.

DeJesus had 27 saves-far more than what was thought possible with our defense-but the defense was just awful and the offense was stifled. And so we were knocked out.

Says DeJesus: "I gave my all out there. Wasn't enough."

DeJesus did indeed give his all, making a number of incredible saves. The score could've easily been 6-0.

But the defense allowed to many shots on goal and DeJesus was doomed.

Our manager was extremely disappointed at the campaign but looks forwards to WC65 and sixth or maybe even fifth place here.

by **Iturributa** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:32 pm

Bayardo Morriyas couldn't quite believe this campaign. It was happening all right, but could they stay at this level? The Holy Empire was already practically unreachable, and being one of the lucky three best second-placed teams seemed unlikely, so they were locked in a three-way struggle against Filopines and United Gordonopia for the chance to qualify via playoff. It was a simple matter of remembering the tortuous, nerve-wracking playoffs Astograth faced on the road to World Cups 58 and 59, just prior to the independence - one failure, one success. It would be a tooth-and-nail fight to defend a frail hope.

And yet, they were closer to making the World Cup finals than ever before, and that was enough for Iturributa to be a riot of honest joy. It was uplifting for this tiny, still fledgling nation. It was special. When they used to watch Olibondeka and an Astograthian scored, it felt distant, impersonal, like an own goal. On the other hand, when one Iturributan scored they all did... and every goal was Iturributan when they had their own national team.

And there were plenty of goals, like never before. 36 goals in 14 matches, a ratio of more than 2 and a half per game. Only three times had they scored less than two - and only twice had they not scored at all. Morriyas was glad to have gently stoked the rivalry between Boneta and Isasmendi, a fire that blazed as they both took to the pitch seeking to outdo the other and be crowned the top scorer - until the next match at least. Not to mention Belaustigetigoitia, hungry to make his own mark, or Aburto and Gaubeka, who could accomplish so much with so little... what had once upon a time seemed like a feeble front line now brimmed with talent that could soon, perhaps, be called world-class.

Some measure of envy dug into Morriyas' skin. If only he were 15, 20 years younger, he'd be out there. Or maybe not, considering he'd only ever played for Royal Association, who'd refused to join the Premier Division and remained in the Astograthian First Division instead, Unity Stadium effectively an Astograthian exclave 90 minutes per fortnight. They didn't look too kindly on Morriyas taking up this job, nor would they be eager to have players called up, but managing was in his blood now - he felt every bit as alive on the touchline as he did seventeen years ago, letting the rain wash over him as he slid to his knees, celebrating Olibondeka's equaliser on that ghastly night in forgotten Loonaterian.

It wasn't just that he was probably a lot better as a manager than as a player - he'd never played for an international club or been signed by one of the "big" teams - but he felt in control. It was refreshing and exciting, moreso when in charge of a team with uncertain opponents instead of a club that will always be facing more or less the same sides. Every day was an adventure that could take him to another part of the multiverse and experience something different, that each nation reflected in its style of play, in the atmosphere of its crowd.

His job could take him from the serene calm of the Archregimancy's orthodox Fathers or Valanora's elves, to the bizarre drawls of ursines, or the blood-curling howls of a Euran crowd. He could hear ¡GOL! in Sargossa, Valladares and Aguazul, or BUT! in Saugeais or XKORA! in whatever's left of Rejistania. He could go from strolling through the beaches of Vilita to those of the Babbage Islands, or glide over the barren wastelands of Ossidiacqua, or wade through the mists of Tyneala. He could be beaten down by the blazing heat of Phoenigetuzstha, or shiver under the freezing Polarian cold. He could be taken through a dimensional portal, or a space elevator. He could be greeted by Mytanar hooligans, or jolly Cotdelapomais. He could feel the bated breath of two-hundred thousand souls, and millions beyond. He could pit his team against five-time world champions or first-time competitors, or ponies or snowmen or invisible wabbits. And as a manager, he had a lot more liberties to enjoy it all than the footballers did - or more than he did as a player, at least.

It was, to say the least, fantastic. A dream job. One not without its difficulties, its low points and its downright ugly stuff, but as good as it could get. Taking Iturributa to the World Cup would be a childhood dream come true, the accomplishment of what he could never do as with his own two feet.

But perhaps he was taking far too much credit for what he'd done with the national team. He'd been reading one of the Goose Coast's bestselling books, written by someone well-known to the Astograthian public, though Morriyas hadn't gotten to know him personally, just in passing. It was an inspirational tale of overcoming incredible odds, of holding one's own against the vicious attacks of a polarised media, of embracing a foreign country so fully as to consider yourself just another part of it. Of growth, fight, struggle, awful failure and occasionally, just very occasionally, the sweetest success imaginable. It had opened his eyes, and he'd incorporated a lot of its meaning into his own work ethic and imprinted it upon his football team.

He set it down...

How To Qualify For The World Cup
in 1,093 easy steps
by Powell Pieran
Foreword by Munio Baranzano

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:12 pm

Brett winced again as he limped out towards the exit. Elimination. Well, he hadn't been expecting to qualify, but...

They could have won the critical game, and just seen someone above them win to keep the gap the same distance with not enough time left to come back. Audioslavia even had won, but no, Kinitaria just went and lost to Saintland.

Or, they could have been bested by someone above them, someone still in the hunt, but no.

There were four games left. Plenty of time to rally up to the top half, which was what Brett was still hoping for, but all the same. It would have been nice to stay in contention longer than teams he'd heard of. Well, the Pocoans had had that one manager, he supposed that counted. Or Algal States, they had...history.

"Can you walk?" said Scroves. "Don't push it."

"I can walk fine," he said, "blow to my pride if anything, I--"

"Could not have helped us any by finishing the game," she glared, "I've seen you on off days, you walk around to get a different view of the game when your legs are up for it, which they clearly are not."

"But it's just a football, it couldn't have--bowled me over like that!"

And it wasn't like the first goal had been that run-of-the-mill either. Luanne, their Luanne had been pushing forward, but then lost control of the ball entirely. All of a sudden the other Luanne, across the field, had it, and nimbly tapped forward to a wide-open Reese Worthington, who scored. All while seeming to hold a teddy bear in her tiny hands. Well, outfielders didn't have anything better to do, but really!

Zwangzug had, timidly, gotten back into it. This was almost entirely thanks to the attacking midfield; Kerry and Sally knew enough about Backyard Sports from watching the World Baseball Classic that they were prepared for the worst, and duly used their bulk (relative to the hosts) to play a simple, straightforward game, never mind what they were up against. A few nice taps back and forth, and Kerry had tied the game.

But while Backyard Sports were eliminated, they were far from giving up. It was the peerless Pablo Sanchez who got that amazing assist, putting so much force that the ball had flattened Brett--just about literally. After that it was no trouble for Vicki Kawaguchi to put away the winning goal. A midfielder leading the scoring ranks? It wouldn't be the strangest thing about that team.

"Brett," said Jerzy, "you were willing to admit that there might be zombies running around the country, the football turning into a giant bowling ball is not that strange."

He couldn't really bring himself to say "yes it is."

"Next time, we learn from their book," said Sara, "there's no reason we can't give just as good as we get."

"What do you mean next time?" said Brett. "We're done, good riddance."

"Maybe the Champions' Cup?" Patricia volunteered. "Although, why waste time, they're babies and half our size, let's just knock 'em over when we get the chance."

"Aren't we good sports."

"You know," Shula began, "there's a saying in Namiri--"

"Then yes, I probably do," Vipin immediately cut in.

"Do what?"

"Know. Is it..." And he rattled off something in a language Brett didn't really know.

"Well, no," said Shula.

"What about..." There he went again.

"Ooh ooh ooh, how's..." This was a quote that Shula didn't seem to recognize either.

"Nah," she said, spouting something else back.

"Oh, Swash?" Vipin scoffed, "Is Jojie not good enough for you Sharag types?"

"It's called being diverse, and anyway, I was going to translate--"

"Oh let's see." Shula rattled off the quote, and Vipin squinted. "No, that's not--no. It would--there wouldn't be any relation to--hell, as a place where things are on fire? No, that concept would not have--"

"No, it's a double meaning, see," Shula retorted, and pretty soon they were going at it, jumping between Swash and Jojie, English and--well, English, maybe, and possibly an annoyed Spanish digression now and then.

"Not to rush you," Scroves finally said, "but I think if Sally gets cooped up any longer she's going to be impatient and need a turn on the swings."

"Oh and what's wrong with that?" said Sally, "there's barely three hundred fans, the line won't be that long."

Scroves rolled her eyes. "Please don't do anything dumb," she said, and Sally immediately scampered off.

"The point is," said Shula, "something about phoenixes and fire and..."

"Rallying back from adversity or something inspiring," Vipin nodded.

"And still being able to stick around, a long while. I don't know."

"I'll take your word for it," said Brett, shifting his weight to his good leg as they made their way out.

by **Jeru FC** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:29 pm

Jeru FC player Felicia Day and assistant coach Princess Melody who is reading a book "Satan's Daughters" on the bench during a football game

Felicia: Interesting book
Melody: Yes well, it is about ... us
Felicia: That you on the cover?
Melody: Well, it's either me or Mum.
Felicia: Looks photoshopped
Melody: It is, I wish I had wings.

Felicia: What's it about.
Melody: It claims Natasha Dallas is a daughter of Succubus
Felicia: Yeah?
Melody: Yep
Felicia: Meaning you lot are part Succubus
Melody: That's why I'm reading it

Felicia: I wouldn't know
Melody: If you have any samples of Succubi DNA, it'd be helpful
Felicia: Well, how do get that?
Melody: Have sex with one
Felicia: Can't say I have
Melody: If you know anyone that does, tell me.

Felicia: They say succubus have mostly female children
Melody: But we have male children in our family
Felicia: But you sure have a lot more girls
Melody: Doesn't mean much
Felicia: Just noticed there's no female childen in your line. None since Princess Marie-Antoinette. None for Helena, Sophia and yourself.
Melody: That's true

Felicia: Scary
Melody: Still doesn't I mean I'm some demon
Felicia: Dunno, your temper is bit much
Melody: I blame mum
Felicia: I know, your line is purest of Succubi genes
Melody: Hey, that's not funny

Felicia: Could be true
Melody: This book is all theory and circumstance
Felicia: Can't say there's no truth in it
Melody: Still, could be load of rubbish
Felicia: True
Melody: Where's Pondy?

Felicia: Dunno
Melody: You got any of that Long Island Iced Tea left
Felicia: Yeah
Melody: I'm thirsty, I need more of it
Felicia: You sure drink a lot
Melody: Don't want to die of thirst

by **Saintland** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:46 pm

Saintland routs Kinitaria 5-2

(SP) Prince Andreas predicted that the Sanctii would defeat Kinitaria today. Still, even he could not have expected that our Kingdom's National Team would so thoroughly dominate their opposition on this day. The victory at a sold-out Royal Stadium over a side that came into this match unbeaten in qualifying sends a message to the world that the Sanctii are for real. "When God is on your side, there is nobody that can beat you. Now, the entire world knows that God is on our side. Kinitaria is one of the best teams in the world and they were in top form going into this match. People can say that we are a longshot to qualify. They can say that Kinitaria is still going to finish in 2nd. They can say all they want that we aren't going to keep this up. Kishrael's press can claim that losing to us is a bad loss and they can predict that they will beat us. The fact remains that this Kingdom of 500 thousand souls just keeps proving the doubters wrong again and again. Now, we just need to stay focused and win our next 3 matches so that we are ready for that showdown in Audioslavia on the final day. Next, we get to show the Jewish nation of Kishrael that they should not have rejected their Messiah and we get to show them that they should not doubt the little island Kingdom where God's True Church is based."

On this day, everything went according to plan for the Sanctii. In the 7th minute, Nicolaus Poenius stole the ball away from Duska Avramov. Poenius ran with the ball for a while before passing to Paulus Flaccus. Flaccus passed forward to Prince Andreas. The Prince saw that Vagionius was double-teamed, so he took it around the defense himself and took a shot. Prince Andreas's shot was on target and Costin Petran moved the wrong way. The ball sailed into the back of the net. The Sanctii led 1 goal to nil.

In the 13th minute, Kinitaria put the ball out for a throw-in around midfield. Prince Andreas threw it in the direction of Silvester Flaccus. Flaccus attempted a risky pass to Stephanus Vagionius. Vagionius found the pass and got separation from the defense. He took a shot, but Petran knocked it out for a corner. Prince Andreas hit a corner right into the box. Doran Lupei headed it out for a corner from the other side. This time, Prince Andreas hit it to Silvester Flaccus and Flaccus headed it in for the 2nd Sanctii goal of the match. The Kingdom of Saintland had jumped out to a 2 goals to nil lead.

After a few minutes bogged down in midfield, Kinitaria began to make a run in the 22nd minute. Lupan Mihalcič had the ball inside the Sanctii box. He passed to Luka Sabčot and Sabčot took a shot. Alessandro Seius got to it, but did not hold onto it and did not knock it out for a corner. Instead, Kinitaria had another chance. Mihalcič got to the ball quickly and sent it in for a goal. The Sanctii lead had been cut in half. Kinitaria now trailed by just 2 goals to 1.

In the 27th minute, the Sanctii got a chance at a 3rd goal. A long pass from Lucas Aufidius to Stephanus Vagionius set up a shot at goal. However, Vagionius hit the post and Anton Spirlea cleared it away. A shot by Sabčot on the counter-attack would be saved by Vagionius and nothing materialized.

As the 39th minute approached, the Sanctii expected to go into halftime up 2 goals to 1. However, that would not be the case. Kinitaria charged forward, moving the ball closer and closer to the Sanctii box. The pass from Kristijan Preda found Sergiu Vacarestič and Vacarestič took a shot. Alessandro Seius tipped the ball, but it still found its way into the back of the net. Kinitaria had equalized and the match was now tied at 2.

The tie would not even last until halftime. In added time, Lucas Aufidius stole the ball away from Sabčot and passed it long in the direction of Prince Andreas. The Prince of Saintland found Stephanus Vagionius in the box. Vagionius faked a shot. The keeper bought the fake. Vagionius passed back to Prince Andreas and the Prince easily put it in the net for his 2nd goal of the first half. The Sanctii led 3 goals to 2 at the half.

At halftime, Cantus Virginum performed. There were no Feministvs Sanctvsterra shenanigans on this day and the performance was perfect. The actions of Feministvs Sanctvsterra had caused the people of Saintland to rally around Cantus Virginum and they were given a loud round of applause by virtually all the fans in attendance after they had finished their performance. The people of Saintland could not have sent a louder message to the terrorists that they did not approve of their actions.

The second half opened with the Sanctii in top form. Kinitaria's team seemed to have been devastated by the late goal to end the first half. In the 51st minute, Prince Andreas found his way around the defense yet again and took a shot at Costin Petran. Petran batted the ball away for a corner. Prince Andreas took the corner and sent it in the direction of Lucas Aufidius. Aufidius headed it in for his first international goal. The Sanctii led 4 goals to 2.

It did not take the Sanctii long to score a 5th goal. In the 59th minute, Matthaeus Belaeus passed the ball forward to Petrus Mamilius. Mamilius booted it forward to Prince Andreas. The Prince sent it forward to Stephanus Vagionius. Vagionius took a shot and the keeper just barely missed his save attempt. Vagionius had scored and the Kingdom of Saintland had a shocking 5 to 2 lead after 59 minutes.

Although the Sanctii might have been able to score more goals, on this day Prince Andreas decided to play it safe. Vagionius and the Flaccus brothers were pulled. In their place, the Jucundius brothers and Andreas Inventius came onto the pitch. The Sanctii switched to a 7-2-1 formation with no striker. For the remainder of the match, they just tried to keep possession and only kept up a pretense of trying to attack. Kinitaria panicked, bringing on additional strikers, but that didn't do them any good. The Sanctii were able to run out the clock, as the home crowd appreciated their skillful display of how to waste 1/3rd of a soccer match. In the end, the score remained 5 goals to 2 and the Sanctii closed out a shocking victory against Kinitaria.

Kinitaria may have never qualified for a World Cup, but they won the 47th Baptism of Fire. In qualifying for World Cups 60 and 61, they finished 3rd in their group. In qualifying for World Cups 62 and 63, they would finish second and be defeated in a playoff both times. In the Cup of Harmony, they have advanced to the quarterfinals twice and were defeated in the Round of 16 in their last appearance. This is a team that has been close to qualification at all 4 of their World Cup appearances, but they have never been able to pull it off. If they collapse toward the end of this World Cup, our Kingdom's National Team now appears most likely to take second place if Kinitaria falters, likely sending the Sanctii into a playoff to attempt to qualify for the World Cup.

With Audioslavia's 2-0 victory over Krytenia, Audioslavia now leads the group with 35 points. Kinitaria is second at 33 points. The Sanctii are tied with Krytenia for 3rd at 28 points. Tomorrow, the Sanctii face lowly Kishrael. Kishrael has just 7 points in 14 matches. The SP can confirm that Prince Andreas is emphasizing to his team that they must not take Kishrael lightly. Entering a stretch where the Sanctii play at Kishrael, followed by home matches against Queer Poco el Mono Ara and Backyard Sports, they cannot afford to take their opposition lightly. If our Kingdom's National Team remains focused, they will likely be sitting on 37 points prior to their final match against Audioslavia. In qualifying for the previous World Cup, only 1 nation had 40 points in qualifying and failed to finish top 2 in their group, so in all likelihood, the Kingdom of Saintland would qualify for the World Cup if our National Team wins the rest of their matches, although this is not a certainty. Royal One will be broadcasting the match between Saintland and Kishrael live from Kishrael, so be sure to tune in and support the National Team.

The members of Feministvs Sanctvsterra remained in their compounds instead of disrupting Saintland's match against Kinitaria. They had decided that is was best to take a day off in order to maintain the element of surprise.

Expecting a Saintland defeat, Agrippina and the rest of the players from the korfball team gathered around a TV. They had a number of other members with them and a few new recruits.

Agrippina - Kinitaria has not lost yet. The oppressors are going to get embarrassed today.

Agrippina was confident, as was everybody in the compound, that the Sanctii had no chance of pulling off a victory.

Iulietta - Looks like the Puppet King's little Prince just scored himself a goal.

Agrippina - Good. I like the second half collapses best.

Maria - Do you think they'll actually hold onto the lead today?

Martha - Of course not.

They sat around and watched the match. In the 13th minute, Vagionius had possession inside the box.

Ioannes - Yes! Kinitaria knocks it out for a corner.

Agrippina - This chance isn't done yet. The Prince of Patriarchy is up to kick the corner.

The Prince kicked the corner.

Catharina - Looks like its going to a Kinitarian defender.

Agrippina - Not another corner.

Iulietta - They can stop them again. No big deal.

Prince Andreas hits the corner...

Elizabetha - It looks like one of those Flaccus brothers has it.

Agrippina - This is not good. They're up 2 goals to nil.

Kinitaria makes a run.

Iulietta - Can he get a shot here?

Agrippina - I would hope so.

Maria - Looks like Seius got there.

Martha - Great job on the rebound.

Agrippina began celebrating...

Agrippina - 2 to 1!

A few minutes later, Kinitaria got another shot. It was tipped by Seius, but still went in.

Agrippina - Kinitaria's coming back in this one.

Lucas - Looks like the oppressors are going to lose today.

A few minutes later, they were in for a shock.

Iulietta - I think Aufidius just stole the ball.

Agrippina - Looks like he's using a long pass. That won't work.

It did work.

Matthaeus - Looks like the Prince has got it.

Agrippina - He just passed to Vagionius.

Ioannes - Vagionius is shooting. Fake! Here's Prince Andreas to save the day. Not good.

Catharina - They won't hold onto that 3-2 lead in the second half.

Agrippina - I hope you're right, Catharina.

After watching the entire stadium cheer Cantus Virginum at half, Agrippina had regrets.

Agrippina - I think I was too stubborn. You were right Georgius.

She was speaking to the same recruit who had talked to her years before.

Agrippina - They rallied around them. Now, they appear to actually be a popular musical group.

Georgius - Cantus Virginum was not a good choice for a target, no matter how much their music propagandizes for the Patriarchy.

Agrippina - I see why now.

15 minutes into the second half, Saintland led 5 goals to 2 and they brought on defensive substitutions.

Agrippina - Looks like this is over. I can't believe they actually won.

Iulietta - Looks like the Patriarchs will be able to celebrate today.

Agrippina - Don't worry. There's still 2 more home matches coming up and we'll find a way to get involved in those.

Maria - I hope you're right.

Agrippina - We're going to be engaging in some mass action soon.

The Feministvs Sanctvsterra members sat around and plotted their next move...

by **Cassadaigua** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 9:14 pm

If its not MEN, then who is it?
by Rachel Dixon, Concord Heights Times- senior Editor

The wave of violence is now spreading across Cassadaigua as MEN (Male Equality Now) has upped the ante in the fight for civil rights. However, there are reports that MEN is not necessarily responsible, or if so, only indirectly, for what has happened recently. Preston I. Grant, President of the Organization actually spoke against the violence (finally), including the shooting death of Sherrianne Trotwell in her home, and the car fires that occurred during a World Cup qualifying match between Cassadaigua and Charruterra. According to Grant, “I wish to express my condolences to the family of Sherrianne Trotwell. Male Equality Now is not about violence. While we have been given many hurdles to overcome, and when is surpassed, a larger one only gets placed further ahead, MEN is not a violent organization. I am disgusted that the criminals are using the name of MEN in vein to support their actions. Male Equality Now had nothing to do with the death of Trotwell, the car fires, or the ridiculous claim that a violent revolution was about to take place in Cassadaigua and that her highness, Queen Cassie, was in any danger.”

It is easy to doubt Grant. But what if there is another movement taking shape? Kristen Sharper, in her last piece, quoted a man that was not yet identified as saying “Queen Cassie is next! Revolution is imminent!” Such a boast got him immediately arrested, but authorities are finding out more about this man. His name is Matthew Jeffries, and he’s a 36-year old who attended the University of Concord Heights, but dropped out after his first semester. He has held mostly low-paying jobs, ranging from grocery store cashier to third shift supervisor at a local fast food job joint. He had been arrested only one time before, at 28, for DWI. Per Cassadagan law, his license was suspended for life, and that seemed to set aside of period of hatred towards authority. Investigators, in checking his computers, do say that within the last eight years, Jeffries had gained quite an interest in guns, and revolutionary figures from other nations. It was also the same year that he joined Male Equality Now. However, communications were intercepted between he and Preston Grant that indicate the two had a falling out, and Jeffries called Grant, “nothing more then a weak piece of shit”. Jeffries had over 3,415 friends on his Spacebook page, a little interesting for someone who’s been a bit of a loner most of his life. The overwhelming majority of those friends are men, and seem to have an equal hatred for Cassadagan government. It appears as though there is another group being formed, but authorities have not been able to discover a particular name for the organization, or a man that may be serving as the leader. Investigators do not believe that Jeffries was such a leader, and was instead a martyr for a bigger cause.

Queen Cassie has not desired to make too big of a deal out of what has happened, and has instead taking an approach of keeping the populace calm. The following was her statement on the matter:

“It is a deplorable act that anyone would take the life of a hard working woman like Sherrianne Trotwell, who had a loving husband, and three kids, two of them boys. To make her a victim of such a senseless crime does not do anything to change the culture of civil rights in this country. As your Queen, it only disgusts me and prevents any such legislation from ever coming forward. But for Sherrianne, she was innocent. To overreact to her desire to move people out of Concord Heights Stadium to the University of Concord Heights to watch a road soccer game, and think that she did this to prevent a protest does not make any sense. It doesn’t because Trotwell would have lost money in this deal. She did it for the people, and she did it for the University of Concord Heights, which was celebrating having advanced to the final four of the NSCAA 5 college basketball tournament. They deserved to have the large crowd. The fact that the University did not permit the MEN protest on campus was a decision they made for the betterment of the institution, at it is first and foremost, a place for higher learning, and not a staging ground for this kind of protest.

In response to the other violence, such as the car fires at Concord Heights Stadium during a soccer game, or the threat on my life, or the threat of revolution, I ask you to remain vigilant. If you see anything suspicious, whether you are a woman or a man, you need to contact authorities right away. There will be no revolution in this country, the very concept of it is not the Cassadagan way, but if there is anyone out there that would like to put a challenge to that, I will not hesitate to deploy the military and quickly put an end to that nonsense. As for my own life, do not worry. I have had enough Long Island Iced Teas to know that it will take a lot to ever get me to pass out, figuratively speaking.”

It is an encouraging statement by the queen, with the metaphor of her favorite alcoholic drink likely used to show that she is not intimidated by any threats and plans on having things be “business as usual” throughout the city and the nation. We can only hope that this new movement, whatever it is they may try to call themselves, does not grow and does not take that as a challenge. It would also be interesting to see how Male Equality Now would react to that. If they saw this new movement become effective with a more violent approach, would MEN then jump along for the ride, or would Preston I. Grant denounce their efforts? MEN denied having a role now, but would they still take a backseat?

It can be depressing, and while we can watch the big 4-3 win that the Dagans had in World Cup qualifying over Leorudo, who’s also one of the bigger contenders in this group, and be happy, it can only serve as a cover for perhaps a bigger problem about to affect Cassadaigua.

by **Gaveo** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:04 pm

Past Editions of The Gaveoan Times:

The Gaveoan Times

3-3.

Gaveoans watching the game against Qazox in Plaza Imperial.

By: Beni Cortez

Gaveo tied against Qazox today with a 3-3 score line. The first goal of the match came at the 22nd minute when Qazox scored first, silencing the loud crowd in Estadio Nacional. 7 minutes later Qazox scored again doubling it's lead, 2-0 Qazox. In the 36th minute Qazox scored again and at this point many of the fans thought it was going to be a rout, 3-0. Two minutes before the half ends Gaveo's Sebastian Cadiz scores a goal making the Qazoxoan lead gap shorten, 3-1 halftime. Some of the fans booed off the national team as they were dissatisfied with the result, luckily for Gaveo the team bounced back and with a goal from Cesar Milano in the 55th minute Gaveo was just one goal away from tying the match, 3-2. In the 70th minute Santiago Rojas got a beautiful forward pass by Sebastian Cadiz and he shot the ball pass the goalie tying the match 3-3. Qazox attempted to gain back the lead but the stingy defense held them off and kept the one point. Gaveo is still 5th as the go in to face Bergnovinia a team one spot bellow them, a win here in the Bergnovinia match could propel Gaveo to third if Leorudo ties or loses and Cassadaigua loses. We hope for victory next week, go Gaveo!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Player's Journey

Gaveo
June 19th, 2028
Chano, Gaveo

It was always good to tie a match at home against a highly skilled team and they face Bergnovinia next week a team that lost by one in a shootout match several matchdays back. Sebastian was concerned that he could never be in World Cup and that this year might be the last year where all the Gaveoan elite players are all together. He shrugged and walked to his friend and son of the former President of Gaveo, Roberto Garcia Jr. "Hey Roberto." "Hoooooooola, weon. How are you?" Sebastian chuckled and responded, "Fine, considering that we just played a elite team 2 hours ago." Roberto laughed, "Yeah, same. Hey, do you honestly think that we could qualify for the World Cup this time?" Sebastian was thinking of that the whole time and responded, "Maybe, but let's just see how we do next match." They both nodded and headed to their homes.

by **United Gordonopia** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:07 pm

"And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight."
-Luke 23:31

Something had to be missing. They had captured Kalini hard drives, and M16 remained a mystery. The Arbitrat of Truth had obtained a trio of enlightening documents, but the full nature of M16 had not been revealed. Even a physical raid into Kalinin that had produced yet more clues had not completely pieced together what Norm knew in his gut was a dire threat to Gordonopia.

It was past midnight, and Norm was in the small office Force afforded to strike-team commanders. As he had done for the past week, he was reading through every line of text, scanning over every image, that had been captured from Kalinin. At some point, some detail had to have been overlooked that would illuminate the entire plot. How long could there be until the damn thing actually went off? It could be years, though from Kalinin such forethought would be rather unexpected. Months, weeks, or even days were more likely.

Of the documents that had been recovered, some seemed to be huge pieces of the puzzle. The map of the Restoration Park District, for example, was certainly helpful, though there were dozens of potential targets in one of the capitol's most trafficked areas.

On the other hand, there were those that Norm simply couldn't fit in. Perhaps they had simple slipped in through odd quirks in document titles, but there were those that struck him as totally out of place. Still, he couldn't rule anything out.

As his watch beeped, signalling one in the morning, Norm felt the impulse to pray. While it seemed out of nowhere, God had seemed to be helping him at various points throughout the investigation. Perhaps his eyes would be opened again.

In the middle of his deep prayer, someone knocked on Norm's door. He hastily ended his plea, and looked up to find Arbitrator Gable towering in front of him.

"Sir," Norm said respectfully.

"Relax Norm. How long's it going to take you to remember that this isn't the regulars?" Gable joked.

Norm smiled, acknowledging his own ingrained habit for formality. "So what brings you to my cave so late at night si... Warren?"

"Nothing important. I just noticed that you were still up, and figured I would ask you about your plans for the Iturributa game this weekend. I've noticed you've been so engrossed in the Kalinin affair that you haven't been following the qualifiers too closely." Gable chuckled. "You of all people have been missed when the Arbitrat's been watching the matches. It might be good for you to let off some steam."

"They playing the match at Empire?"

"Same as always."

Suddenly, something hit Norm. It was just a suspicion, but...

"Hey, like you said, I haven't exactly been following the cycle. What matchday are we on?"

"Well," Gable thought, "We just played our fifteen games, so that'd make Iturributa..."

"Matchday 16. M16. How the hell did we miss that? They're going to attack the bloody football match."

It seemed the most obvious thing in the world. Norm was close to kicking himself for failing to make the connection, but now that he had, everything seemed to fall into place. The name of the operation, which made sense coming from Kalinin; a nation not known for its subtlety. The map of Restoration Park; Empire Stadium sat triumphantly at the south end of the long mall. The target; where better to strike than a National Team game in the capitol, which the Emperor himself regularly attended, sometimes even making his way to the pitch. Hell, even that seemingly superfluous file about natural grass fields made complete sense. Norm had failed to piece all of it together until now. If Gable hadn't come on God's own intervention and provided an epiphany, would he even have a chance to stop it? Did he have a chance now?

ooc note: Yes, I am aware that this is timed to take place after matchday 15 as a result of fluid timing. This detail is simply to help the plot fit better into the overarching narrative, and is not a typo.

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:21 am

Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai - Second only to the Sea Dragons themselves in conversation across the Empire, the Cathedral (as it has commonly become known as) has the fans in a near-frenzy as they debate and predict just what type of restaurants and other such amenities might grace the nation’s new football stadium. Some sources say that the general public, as well as the world outside our borders may be a bit surprised.

ASV Chief Publicist Hanji Ju’Karra issued this statement earlier today.

“We had hoped that when we began to run with this idea of a green stadium and complete economic center dedicated in its entirety to national level of Vegai football that we would create an interest on a much larger scale. That initial hope has now been replaced with the realization that a very much international flavor will be present in the new stadii.

Several nations from Atlantian Oceania have seen their businesses submit bids for every aspect of the project with nearly a dozen vying for the five coveted restaurants available to them. AO has also stepped up with one bid to provide transportation needs and another hoping to secure the overall construction rights for the project.

As for nations outside of Atlantian Oceania, the bids have been coming in a bit slower with only one restaurant bid having been received along with, what is at present, the top bid of the whole process and front runner to gain the coveted overall construction rights.

With only one bid coming thus far from regional rival Rushmore, one bid from the independent powerhouses, and no bids whatsoever coming from would-be regional contenders Esportiva, The ASV would like to take this chance to ask nations from these areas to give some real consideration to bidding on one or more of the opportunities offered.

All that remains is to see the winning bids unveiled following the conclusion of the qualifiers. If the Interregional community does not step forward with bids, any and all remaining places will be filled by bidders from AO. We do hope that it does not come to that and at least Rushmore steps forward with some bids. Although it would be par for the course for AO to prove its dominance even in this aspect of World Cup Football.”

by **Ko-oren** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:46 am

Previous episode

(Prior to this match day)

"Well, that's that. I think Ko-oren is without a head coach now. We tried our best against The Archregimancy. We even scored. But it wasn't enough. A 3-1 loss is bad in everyone's book... It's the biggest loss so far in this cycle for us. And our only one. I'm sorry to have let the team down. Koyane Shiribeshi, I think that's the farewell for us. You're in charge now, I think this paves the way for an attacking Ko-orenite team again."

"I still think it was brave of you to bet that we wouldn't lose this cycle at all while you knew we still had to play the Archregimancy away. Thank you for your hard work, coach. I will not let you down, knowing what you have done for this team. You may not have brought us to the World Cup, but I think that is not going to happen in the next few years. But that's not it! We have played at the Cup of Harmony for a few World Cups straight. And we've made it out of that group stage consistently! You've taken us to a 50th place worldwide... And we'll take us further."

"I hope it won't take you long to get used to coaching duties. You have the next match upcoming already. Secundus Kasius and Timfen. Both are struggling, I expect nothing less than 6 points with your fancy new strategy. Good luck to all of you. Farewell."

(Past Ko-oren 3–0 Secundus Kasius)

"Hey, Koyane! Not bad for your first coaching job... 3-0 victory already!"

"Yeah, nice record-breaking victory there. We haven't scored three in one match in a looooong time!"

"Heh, thanks guys. We're going to continue in this way... I think you'll find not much is going to change. Next up is Timfen, and then Michael VII at our home. If we win both, we're second. If we lose one, we'll probably end up fourth. It's still a small margin as ever, it's still necessary to concede as little as possible. We'll just go on the counterattack a bit more often, and take some risk towards the end of a game if we're still behind or tied. That's all. Should I stay in this position, I might change more, but that will have to wait until the next World Cup, or until the next friendly tournament. Of course, I'll also be in charge of the selection procedures. And don't forget Ko-oren B is now in Swyftlandre for the Friendly Cup 8. That team's got 23 more players waiting for your spots in this team. If anything, things are more competitive now than ever. And the margin for mistakes is smaller. If you think things have eased up now the coach is gone... Prepare yourself."

Previous episode (Pronunciation)

From here on out, we'll just give you the IPA transcription. With the previous post in mind, it should be doable to figure everything out. And remember, vowels are your enemies here, consonants your friends! And: stress on the first syllable, even the long ones!

Goalkeepers:
Amate Hoki [amatɛ hɔki]
Storm Enshadilsa [stɔrm ɛnʃadilsa]

Defenders:
Ul Leire [ul le:rɛ]
Katanmak Juliasterinthen [katɑnmɑk julijastɛrinθɛn]
Roluwishandin Erlenajaur [roluwiʃandin ɛrlenajaʊr]
Fuujin Iwaki [ɸɯ:dʒiɴ iwaki] (Look out for this one... Though [fu:dʒiɴ iwaki] is also correct.)
Bjarswind Napertnau [bjɑrswind napɛrtnaʊ]
Futushi Musashi [ɸɯtɯʃi mɯsaʃi] or [futuʃi musaʃi]
Koneruthen Haukderevnastar [konɛruθɛn haʊkdɛrɛvnɑstɑr] (though the v in the last name may be pronounced as a b)

Attackers:
Esolywend Eregrent [esolywɛnd ɛrɛgrɛnt] (watch out for the y sound: it's the ü in German)
Izasul Terathu [izasul tɛraθu]
Ukru Masaineu [ukru masajneju]

As a bonus:
Tangku (city with one of the main stadiums): tɑŋkə
Sraltlur (another city): srɑltlər (though this one is pronounced differently in every different dialect in Ko-oren)
Ko-oren (capital city, most important stadium, country name) [kɔʔɔ'rɛn]

by **New Sideburn** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:01 am

New Stokeburn
Given that last match against Yesopalitha had equalled New Sideburn's record for a worst defeat (at 4-0), it was understandable that they'd be rather cagey during this match. At least they had the home advantage, and a stalwart back four. It was only in the 68th minute when they finally buckled...

Portia Thrift had had an excellent game, stopping all but one of the nine shots on target. Rook Harm had gotten away with most of his fouls. Anna Shrike resembled an athlete, and Cathy Stokes impressed with her first start in a while.

But final victory still eluded them, and second was most definitely out of reach.

Refocusing
Henry Crossbow's job at this stage was simple. Equipped with a blue suit and a way with words, he had to convince the world that New Sideburn deserved a place in the Cup of Harmony.
Only this upjumped suit appeared unaware of his role in destiny, which was to 'agree with everything Crossbow says'.
"New Sideburn are the victors of the Baptism of Fire," argued Crossbow.
"Showing passion, but not technique. You yourself advertised the 'strength and courage' of your team as its cardinal virtues."
"We show that mixed-sex teams can indeed be successful-"
"Nobody's denying that; but there have been ones more successful than you."
"We have a sprawling, 3-tiered, 72-team professional league," Crossbow said, with much gesticulating.
"So do many others, but is it any good? Anyway, if they aren't part of UICA it may as well be invalid."
"We were the finest team in the Isles of Serenes," Crossbow reasoned.
"That's hardly an accomplishment," said the belligerent, drily.
"We're the current Strongnesse Trophy champions-"
"A trophy you invented," said the increasingly exasperated WCC member. "The trouble is, you come here with your new boys and your notions of physical power being the essence of the game and one large stadium and you think it makes you a contender."
"Contender! All I ask is to at least be a competitor!"
"Enough!" snapped a WCC head honcho. "Henry Crossbow, your arguments have been duly noted.
Crossbow left, with a hint of bitterness. He'd felt sure the 117-slide PowerPoint would be a hit! He'd used the transition effects and everything!

by **Filopines** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:35 am

Smart, Dumb and Funny PART 12
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

*at an Italian restaurant*
(The six walk through entrance)
Aaron: What is this place?
Kate: It's Giacomo's. The owner's one of my dad's friends.
Mark: Is it Italian?
Kate: Yes. I can't wait to sit down and drink a Long Island Ice Tea.
Luis: This better not take long. We got to get to that concert straight after this. Don't have too much so we can still do, you know... (headbangs)
Mark: Don't worry, we are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur.
Kate: I'll go up to the maitre'd. (walks up to the maitre'd) Hello. I am Kate Marshall. I believe I made a reservation for tonight under my name.
Maitre'd: There's a Kathryn Marshall.
Kate: (excitedly) Yes! That's me! Oh my God.
Maitre'd: Uh...ok. It will be less than a minute.
Kate: Ok. Maybe you could make it a little less. (gives 10 fuertes to him) (fuerte is the Filopinian equivalent for dollar, peso, rupee, etc.)
Maitre'd: Much appreciated. (waits for Kate to walk away) Heh, silly, silly young girl.
Kate: It will be less than a minute, guys.
Luis: Good.
Julie: You said this place would be fancy, Kate.
Kate: The inside is EPIC. Trust me.
(5 minutes later)
Kate: You said that we would get to our table in less than a minute. It's been five minutes.
Maitre'd: No, I meant how long our original conversation. I said it would be less than a minute. I guessed correctly. I was on Pyramid once you know. Your table will be ready in about (looks down at watch) half an hour.
Kate: Are you kidding me?!
Maitre'd: Giacomo's employees don't lie.
Kate: I could kill you right now if I wanted to you know. But I won't. I'm nice. (screams) I'm nice! And if you have a problem with that!
(Rachel approaches Kate and the maitre'd)
Rachel: What's wrong, Kate?
Kate: Our table won't be ready for 30 minutes.
Rachel: What? That's outrageous! Here, this will fix that. (flashes breasts to maitre'd) Now will you give us our table?
Maitre'd: (looks away) Free boobies!
Rachel: You've made an enemy. I pity the fool who looks at my breasts and not give me a reward!
(Rachel and Kate walks away)
Mark: What's wrong?
Luis: Come on, we won't get to the Cliche Band concert in time.
Kate: It won't be ready for thirty minutes.
Luis: Are you kidding me?!
Mark: Oh, God. I'm having an apoplectic attack.
Aaron: Mark, Luis and I will take care of this.
(Mark, Luis and Aaron walk up to maitre'd)
Aaron, Luis and Mark: Do you know who we are?
Maitre'd: No.....wait. Are you Aaron Bolbing, Luis Rodriguez and Mark Viney?!
Mark: You bet we are.
Luis: We are with those three girls over there and we think that we shouldn't have to wait thirty minutes for a table.
Aaron: Yeah. Look buddy, we'll give you our autographs if you give us our table.
Maitre'd: (excitedly) Ok! It's quite unbelievable that you beat all those good teams!
Aaron: Yeah, well...you know.
Mark: Give us our table now! Or I'll have to do some ka-ra-tay on you.
Maitre'd: Uhhh....
Mark: Ok. You and me outside. NOW!
Maitre'd: I'm sorry. I'll give you your table now. Excuse me ladies! Your table is ready now!
(Kate, Julie and Rachel approach the boys)
(Mark and Kate kiss and Luis and Julie kiss)
Rachel: Well, Aaron. I guess it's our turn too.
Aaron: NO! KISSING TIME IS OVER!
(The others stop kissing)
(The six enter the dining area)
Julie: It's not fancy enough.
Luis: Who cares! At least we get to go the concert in time.
Kate: And I can also finally have that Long Island Ice Tea.
Mark: (clears throat) Um, honey. You're the driver.
Kate: It's an Iced Tea.
Mark: It's looks like an Iced Tea hence the name. But it's full of alcohol.
Kate: Stuff you. I'm not the only one with a driver's license, you know.
(5 minutes later)
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Kate: Five minutes please.
(Five minutes later)
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Kate: Yes. Twelve Long Island Ice Tea's please.
Mark: Are you kidding me?
Kate: You know, one for each of you guys and seven for me. Seven is my lucky number.
Julie: I won't be having an Ice Tea.
Aaron: Me too.
Luis: Me too.
Mark: Me too.
Rachel: Me too.
Kate: I'll still order twelve.
Waiter: What about you sir?
Luis: Uh, I'll....
(inaudible)
(30 minutes later)
Waiter: Are you ready for dessert?
Kate: (drunk) If there is in fact, a heaven and a hell, all we know for sure is that hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix. (laughs hysterically) (stops laughing) I'm gonna lick your face. (points at Mark) (sticks tongue out)
Luis: Uh, no more Ice Teas for Barney Gumble over here.
Kate: Four Long Island Ice Teas please! (slurs) Four bluh bluh.
Waiter: Anything else?
(30 minutes later)
Kate: (still drunk) Knock knock.
Julie: (bored and tired) Who's there?
Rachel: No! Don't say! I wanna guess!
Kate: A hand! (laughs hysterically) (stops laughing) No.

*at the stadium where the concert is held*
(The six enter the audience with Kate struggling to walk and holding on to Mark)
Lead singer: Thank you for attending! You guys have been great!
(applause)
(The six stand still for five seconds then goes back outside)

by **Swyftlandre** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:51 am

Death Note II:
Chapter VII: Battle of Inyitunia

It seemed hopeless, the Dandillis' Red Army and the Swyft-Inferior Alliances' resistance stood side by side, only ten models in their possession that were horribly outdated with exception to the two Vanguard-Models. Hardly desirable when the Commune and Chun-Nan would most likely deploy all their forces in a bid to eradicate everyone. Perhaps to send a message to Dandillis to surrender all their land to the Commune or perhaps just for sick entertainment.

Sam sat in the cockpit of The Vanguard, the Man in Black Agent Josh managing the back. She stretched her artificial hand, it felt weird to have feeling where the stump had been even if at times movement felt disjointed and there was no real sensation of touch with that hand. It was what it said on the tin, 'Artificial'. She had been assigned the West-Side of the Inyituin Ghettos alongside 2000 Soldiers and 4 Mechs. Right on the outskirts of town, every able bodied man and women equip with some form of weapon. Most had been lucky enough to own or be given a gun but some had to settle with arbitrary weapons such as Pitchforks or Swords.

"Approaching forces on C12." She looked down to her map of the city, which he been divided into 28 Tactical Grids and as the radar picked them up, the number of enemy mech's was high. Regardless, this was her battle to lose, she would avenge her family or die trying.
"Very well, activate decoy mech's on the listed areas." She pressed the radar with her finger and flashing red dots appeared, if she were to succeed, then Alex's plan would have had to be perfect, "Then assume Pincer movement with our mech's from behind, aim directly for the legs to paralyze before going in for the kill."
"Yes Sir!" The soldiers cried back, it irked her that she received that title, despite the goings on around her. She held her breath as the Mech's started to move. She held back, then contacted the general, "Take the Western alleyway's, deploy ALL your troops that way. We need them to assume Guerrilla strategies, have them camp wherever and take direct aim at the cockpits of the Mech's should they pass."
"At once!"

So far, it was moving as Alex told her it would. But that was without the first signs of conflict, it rested on whether the military strength of the Commune and Chun-Nan rested on their weaponry and 'assured' dominance with stronger models of Mech's. Should the enemy be well prepared, she may have well have ordered her soldiers to commit suicide. She radioed her last contact,
"Death Note squad, have you hacked the system yet?"
"Not yet Sam! We're working on it but their defense measures are the strongest I've encountered. Give us 20 to an hour" The man on the other end replied with slight confidence.
"WE DON'T HAVE THAT TIME! Our survival here relies on you...remember, spare no one, don't contact me again, just make a miracle happen..."

She then turned on her mech and rolled into battle. She took the head on approach as the enemy Mech's had divided into three parties to deal with the decoy party. Despite her fears, the Vanguard was still with greater power than the enemies Mech's and she managed to grind through one party without trouble. It surprised her how easy it was, similar to the events at Blastings City. They had met their death without any subtle damage. Almost as if the Vanguard was the ultimate model. As she sped towards the second party, she received an emergency radar message.
"x03 DESTROYED and x04 heavily damaged. I'm returning to base! I repeat, returning to b-" The sound of an explosion cut off the contact. The following three beeps confirmed the contact had been destroyed.

"Hoo Hoo! Didn't expect that did you! Watch out, they're coming for you!"
Sam looked at her radar in dismay, her enemies had predicted her movements. Six individual parties, four of which had remained inactive for a large amount of time circled around the Vanguard. Despite it's strength, the sheer numbers of the enemy forces encircling her made it a worthless effort. She radioed the x01 and x02, picking up the signal with only x02.
"Sir! x01 was destroyed in combat, the pilot didn't eject. I made it out with minor damages, however, I lost the Mech's..."
"x02, I'm afraid the battle has been lost. Retreat back to base...inform Alex that I've been taken as a prisoner of war!"
"Sir!"
"Don't come and help me x02! There's nigh on eighty Mech's here now, any action will result in my death..." She turned off the radio and turned to Justin, "Just how strong is this book, I assume it won't survive an explosion!!!"
"That is!!! Don't you think about it!!!" Justin sounded worried in the first time since they'd met, she turned to Agent Josh and smiled before writing his name in. If she was captured then Plan-D would be pursued. No-one else should have to suffer what she was about to go through. She ripped several pages of the Death Note out and hid them in her bra then released the cockpit.
"I am Samantha Rose! I surrender!" She rose her hands and the enemy Mech's inspected her before a number of them left their Cockpits.

"You are a Prisoner to the Commune! From this moment onwards you have lost your human rights, you have no right to speak from this moment on, doing so will act in swift punishment!"

by **Kalumba** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:58 am

Wilson beamed as he read through the sporting news and saw the most recent results Kalumba had picked up. Since the battering they had recieved at the hands of Saugeais, Kalumba had beaten Zackalantis 3-0 away, The Sylvanae Queendom 2-0 at home and had then gone away to Antoletia and managed to pick up a hard fought one all draw. And a number of journalists were unknowingly crediting him for the change in form, claiming the huge faith shown by the first pitch invader against Saugeais had influenced the whole crowd and the sudden surge of belief in the team had really helped and given them the confidence to play football and beat some of the best teams in the group. Wilson went red as he read these comments, it wasn't faith in the side that had led him to rush onto the pitch but the drunken belief they had just won the game 2-1, not just the half and actually lost 6-2. But the theory seemed sound and he felt a little pride.

With this in mind he decided to check OTLWTL for the first time since before the Saugeais game. He had been far to embarrassed to look at the fanzine since his drunken exploits, but his boredom at sitting in his office drove him back to the fanzine and with minor trepidation he opened the page.

On The Lash With The Lads

Wilson's run continues! Yes ever since dear old Winnie charged the pitch and grabbed a bobbies lid we have been almost unstoppable. Spanked 6-2 and the team were carried off the pitch as conquering heroes, in no small part thanks to all the boys here at OTLWTL, and ever since then the team have played unbelievably well and recorded some memorable victories. Especially against The Sylvanae Queendom, who are well inside the top 5 teams in the world, and we did them. 2-0 at home, that's right I will never tire of saying that. We, an unranked team of nobodies, kept a clean sheet and beat one of the world beaters.

We then went on to beat bottom of the group Zacklantis 3-0 and then managed to go to Antoletia and snatch a hard fought, but well deserved, draw with Abouto scrambling in a very late equaliser after we fell behind to an early goal. With three teams behind us already unable to qualify, we have far exceeded all expectations and some of the wins even Winnie couldn't have expected. And with 7 points from our last 3 games we had a home tie against Earo, who sit third in the group.

But with the luck of Wilson behind us, not even a good team like them could stop us. With ten minutes played though our victory wasn't looking likely, as we trailed 2-1 and Earo had a penalty after the blind lino had signalled the referee and duped him into believing that Ottbourne had taken the strikers legs when he had actually comfortably reached the ball first. Sure he went straight through and by the looks of things broke the striker's leg, but still he did win the ball and I thought this was a man's game. And the referee clearly agreed as he only booked big Terry, who stood on the middle of his line and stared deep into the taker's eyes, as if to suggest if he was to score he would soon be joining his mate in the hospital. And duly the striker blazed over and Kalumba were still in the game.

The first half ended with us on top, but still trailing two-one after they cancelled out Roberts' glorious opener. He had produced another one of those runs that he was so famous for, dancing past the Earo midfield and then deftly chipping the keeper with just 5 minutes played. But then Earo suddenly burst into life, scoring straight from their kick-off with a simple one-two passing move putting their number nine clean through and he made no mistake with the finish. The home crowd silenced and the team stunned Earo pushed on and their number nine nodded in a deep cross and all of a sudden it looked like we would lose to them again and their push for qualification would take another step closer to succeeding.

But with their star striker now injured, and the crowd at Kalumba's back the team finally returned to the level they had been playing in our last few games. And as the second half wore on it began to show. Roberts and Cheeter combined beautifully on a regular basis but chance after chance went begging, but the crowd did not grow disheartened nor start to worry that we were throwing away another winnable match and continued to roar the team on. And the equaliser came from the usual source, Chris Abouto. He picked the ball up and the lads broke into a chorus of "He's big, He's black, He'll give the ball a whack, Abouto, Abouto!" With this encouragment in his ears Abouto did a Roberts and stormed down the right wing. The defence melted like snow in the rain and Abouto found himself one on one with the goalkeeper and rounded him with panache before cheekily back-heeling the ball into the empty net.

The roar from the crowd was the loudest I have ever heard and this translated into some of the best football I have ever seen. It was so good I can remember it touch for touch in spite of the vast number of pints in my system. And if we continue to play with such skill I may even stop drinking because in form like this you don't need a drink to enjoy Kalumba playig football. Like most I took up the drink when Magnus Malan replaced George Davies in our first World Cup campaign and our performances were dire defensive displays, but Davies is back and the free flowing Kalumba that won the BoF way back are back too. And the goal that won us the match was vintage Kalumba.

Abouto recieved the ball from Cheeter and burst forward, seeing Roberts free on the far side he hit an inch perfect cross field ball which Roberts took on his chest and beat his defender. Big man Kevin Davis drove into the box and drew the defence with him, leaving Cheeter unmarked on the edge of the box. A high cross picked out Davis who nodded it down for Cheeter to slam high into the far corner of the net and so perfect was the placement the keeper didn't even move. As the onion basket bulged the crowd fell silent and then a great cheer arose from 15,000 voices, and we knew the boys had done enough to win. Kalumba 3 Earo 2 and we can still technically qualify.

Not that anyone cares about the mathematics of the situation. What matters to all us fans is that we have earned a little respect; we haven't come back to international football and been embarrassed, in fact we have been able to take positives from every game and have achieved a number of memorable victories. And we have avoided the fate many predicted, myself included. I have been made to eat my words about us not being ready and I will do so happily. Roll on Kalumba and Winnie I know your reading this: Thanks good buddy, you have given us our pride and long may the luck you gave us continue.

Mr Spleen

O, the views of Mr Spleen are his alone and should be ignored in their entirety.

Wilson winced as he read the fanzine and grew bright red. He didn't want to be praised for a moment of drunken lunacy or held solely responsible for the success Kalumba were having. The whole fanbase had roared the team on and it was them who were winning the games not him and he wished his old firend would give them more credit than just luck.

Tearing his mind away from football he glanced through the reports that Norman had let on his corkboard. Most were the usual boring clear flights, in which nothing had been spotted. But one report caught his eye, and not only from the bright red pencil the pilot had used. Norman had spotted a couple of Kudu carcasses in areas not usually frequented by predators, and while there was no evidence of foul play, it seemed highly likely that the felled beasts were related to the series of robberies and other incidents of poaching. And Norman had noted that they were moving closer to one of the big elephant herds, and with this in mind Wilson wearily lifted the phone to his bosses more in hope than expectation and asked if he could call in the rest of the Rangers to lead a hunt for the suspected poachers.

by **Ossidiacqua** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:25 am

Continued from this RP from Licen...

"...my name is not important," said the voice on the end of the telephone in Urszag-Csatoria, "the point is that you do what I say."

"Well, then who do you represent?" asked the Duke.

"I represent the Acq-.. er, I mean, I represent the accumulation of my own personal wealth. I'm looking after myself in this situation." hesitated the nervous head of the Acquan FA.

"Well, what's going on?" asked the Duke again, full of questions.

"I know what you did last summer."

"Last summer?"

"With Schwartz."

"That wasn't summer, as such..."

"Well, you know what I mean. The point is, I know that you and your Licentian officials poached him from the Polarians."

"We did no such thing!"

"You encouraged him to run down his contract. Same thing. You contacted an in-contract manager without the knowledge of his FA over the account of his future employment. I have the pictures to prove it, and you could get into a lot of trouble over that."

"Okay, okay..." sighed the Duke, resigned, "we're out-gunned here, I can see that. What do you want?"

"Money. Lots of it."

"How much?"

"Ten million of..." there was a brief pause as the two Acquans hastily whispered to each other, trying to remember the Licentian currency, "...currency. Ten million of your Licentian currency, or I release the pictures to the EWCC members."

"Five, and it's Pounds."

"Eight."

"Deal. Just so long as we get the pictures. The originals?"

"You have my word," came the reply past crossed fingers.

"Fine. Where?"

"Well, I'm assuming you'll have traced this call, so, not here. Let's meet somewhere else. Say, Sant'Elia. Come to the Venezia docks. One week from this moment. Wear sunglasses, and bring the money. Or else I release the pictures."

"Very well," said the Duke grumpily, very much disliking being found out and getting backed into a corner like this, "see you then."

Then there was a click, and the phone call disconnected. The two Acquans celebrated with each other, and tried to work out how much money they'd have each once it was converted into Obts. Stretching their legs, they walked into the courtyard of the Urszcsar Royal Palace, and breathed in the fresh air, ready to make the trip back to Sant'Elia and collect their money, before releasing the pictures anyway and getting Schwartz at the helm of la Renaissance, just as they wanted. Everything was falling into place for the OFA.

Or so they thought.

Several hundred metres up in the air, Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re hung up the earpiece of his dangerously hissing steam powered listening device, and looked at the senior members of his Guarda Djocoranga, assembled around him.

"They really are walking straight into this, aren't they?" he said menacingly...

by **Saintland** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:36 am

After defeating Krytenia on a last-minute goal by Prince Andreas, the Sanctii took their flight home.

Josephus Flaccus - We beat Krytenia today!

Paulus Gabinius - We can still qualify for the World Cup.

Alessandro Seius - No need to get overconfident. Krytenia outplayed us on this day. We only won because God was with us out there.

Prince Andreas - That's right, Alessandro. Josephus, Paulus, we need to focus on Kinitaria now.

Josephus Flaccus - Do we really have to play them next?

Prince Andreas - Yes, they're next on our schedule.

Paulus Gabinius - They just beat Queer Poco 8 to 1.

Josephus Flaccus - They are still undefeated in qualifying.

Stephanus Vagionius - Don't worry about that. On any given day, we can beat anybody in the world. Don't ever be intimidated by your opposition. None of these teams are so tough that we can't beat them.

Prince Andreas - Last time around, we had the match tied at 2, but I made some strategic mistakes and they ended up beating us 4 to 2.

Silvester Flaccus - From what I've heard, Kinitaria has a history of falling just short of qualifying for the World Cup.

Alessandro Seius - Let's start their 2nd half swoon tomorrow, then.

Lucas Aufidius - We can beat those guys. Just don't lose us the match, Andreas.

Prince Andreas - I think I've learned my lesson strategically.

Lucas Aufidius - Good.

Prince Andreas - Everybody needs to use whatever time you have to get a good night's sleep and watch film of their past matches, especially our first match against them. I want all of you to know their strengths and weaknesses, so we can exploit them.

Paulus Flaccus - I'll make sure we do exactly that, captain.

Prince Andreas - Good. Everybody needs to arrive at Royal Stadium an hour before the start of the match. We will share everything we have learned with one another before the start of the match.

After the plane arrived in Saintland, the players went to their respective homes to prepare for Kinitaria. Little did they know just how well they would play the following day...

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello, I am Sister Maria Polus, High Inquisitor at Progress High School. I am joining you again today on Sanctustube to discuss the Kingdom of Saintland's recent success against Krytenia and Kinitaria. This is what happens when a country embraces God's Truth and turns away from sin. Lately, the people of Saintland seem to be putting in more of an effort to do what is right. For this, God is rewarding our Kingdom with success in the World Cup.

Lately, Church attendance on non-Sundays is up 50 percent and I have heard from Church officials that misbehavior by students in Church schools is down by over 30 percent. It seems that the people of Saintland have recently made an effort to embrace morality and reject sin. That is to be applauded, whatever the reasons.

I have heard that Cantus Virginum is more popular these days than ever, after the actions of those evil women a few days ago. Apparently, sales of their CDs have doubled and TV ratings for their appearances have tripled. It seems that the Kingdom of Saintland has embraced those young ladies. I, too, am a big fan of theirs. They are good role models for their peers. I watched the interview on the Nightly News with Iulietta Perquitienus from Cantus Virginum and I was satisfied that she admitted to her sins and is making an effort to repent. That is what all of us need to do.

With our recent participation in international sports, we have seen a substantial increase in immigration to the Kingdom of Saintland. More foreigners want to convert to God's True Church than ever before. I applaud these developments. I do not know what God wills, but I believe a trip to the World Cup for the Kingdom of Saintland would do even more to bring unbelievers to God's Truth. Therefore, I am hoping that the National Soccer Team pulls us a miracle and qualifies for the World Cup in their first attempt.

This brings me to the subject of their next opponent. The next obstacle before our Kingdom's National Team is a match at Kishrael. Kishrael is a homeland of the Jews, God's one-time chosen people. They are the descendents of Abraham, Isaacus and Iacobus. They are also the people of Iesus Christus. Around 2000 years ago, God sent them their promised Messiah. Iesus Christus was born of a virgin and was sent by God to help these people earn forgiveness for their sins. They rejected him and they handed him over to Pilate to be crucified. Thus, they lost their status as God's chosen people and have encountered many misfortunes over the last 2000 years because they stubbornly refuse to accept that Iesus Christus is the Messiah. Then again, all of my viewers should already know that very well.

The most recent misfortune that Kishraeli Jews have suffered has been their poor performance in this World Cup. They only have a quarter of the points that we do. They are a 9th place team in a Group of 10. They have conceded 46 goals, which is the most in this qualifying group. That is more than anybody has scored in this group. The National Team needs to win their next 3 matches to have a hope of qualifying on the final day. I don't know if God wants our Kingdom to qualify for the World Cup or not, but it will be interesting to watch over the next 4 days and see what God Wills in this World Cup. I am Sister Maria Polus and I thank you for watching.

by **Vilita** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:13 am

Triskaidekaphobia Defeated

After notching off their 13th straight victory to open their World Cup 64 qualifying campaign, Calaesa Mitaroka and the current crop of Vilita Jungle Cats had already notched their place in national history. No Vilita side had ever won 13 straight in qualifying, despite many coming close.

However, there is a lot to say - or not say, about the number 13. Triskaidekaphobia comes to mind. While Vilitan's don't tend to discuss Triskaidekaphobia, it is, perhaps, ingrained in the culture from the early years.

Its not that the number 13 is feared per say, but, the level at which getting *past* the number 13 is celebrated, that highlights the Vilitan opinion on the baker's dozen signifier.

Of course, companies and complexes often shy away from the number 13. Buildings love skipping the 13th floor, going from 12 to 14 in the process. Although, its a confusing adaptation that Vilitan's tend not to do. However, it would never be a surprise to see a Conference Level, Works or Janitorial level - a rack of computers or some other designation to signify the floor between 12 and 14 other than the number which comes in between.

So while the fans and players alike were proud of their accomplishment, eclipsing the old Vilitan record of 12 consecutive victories to start a qualifying campaign, there was even more celebration abound when the Jungle Cats *surpassed* the number 13, securing their fourteenth consecutive victory and extending their own record a little bit further.

Of course, it may not have been Triskaidekaphobia that led to the increase in celebrations surrounding the 14th victory opposed to the somewhat different celebrations that surrounded the 13th victory.

It could simply have been due to the fact that the 14th victory actually occurred on Vilitan soil, while the 13th did not.

In fact, perhaps with an eye on the mark, the Football Association of Vilita lined up the Tivali Ring Stadium in Alikki-Corra for the famous matchup as the Jungle Cats expanded their dominance of... Group 14 with a 6-goal performance over Eridanus 3.

Perhaps it was written in the stars. The 14th victory in Group 14 virtually assured the Jungle Cats qualification to World Cup 64 in Wight and New Montreal States, with a 12 point lead over Kandorith with 12 points to play for - not to mention a nearly insurmountable +22 Goals Difference as a buffer.

Neighbors Turori had it all to do still a further 5 points back from the second place and a chance at the playoffs, a series of early draws being the difference for the Eels between the qualification playoffs and the position they found themselves in with 4 matchdays to go.

Back to the celebrations, after the victory at the Tivali Ring Stadium. 14-0-0. It was a mark that always eluded the Jungle Cats. They had come so close during World Cup 19 Qualifying. 12 wins with just 4 goals conceded. Then it was a match at the Tivali Ring Stadium, going for win number 13, that the Jungle Cats could not reach. Perhaps a little more Triskaidekaphobia setting in then.

But now, the streets were alive. "Fourteen-Zero-Zero... Thats my whole name! Fourteen-Zero-Zero... Vilita cannot be tamed!" to the tune, of course, of the long-time Vilitan hit, 14 Zero Zero.

Its not the olden days, however. Fourteen Zero Zero no longer means perfection. Now, it means just over three-quarters of a way to perfection. Four matches to go. The party might last all night, but come morning, the Jungle Cats had more work to do.

by **West Angola** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:18 am

Benguela, Portuguese Colonial Fortress, 1894
Luke Parrish thought the sunrise was the most horrible thing he’d ever seen. The conclusion of last night’s attack had gone successfully, with all the forward units being withdrawn to the designated positions, and now his men were well entrenched against a counterattack. Unfortunately, the arrival of daylight meant that the element of stealth granted the rebels the previous night was gone, and the Portuguese would now know when an attack was coming, even without flares. Parrish was anticipating that Portugal would attempt to drive them back today, opening a line into the city for what remained of the jungle army, which Parrish knew was fast approaching. If victory was going to be won in Benguela, it had to be won soon. He had barely slept the previous night; after his meeting with the tribal representatives he’d been communicating with General Blyr, coordinating their plans for the next day. Both had agreed that whoever was not attacked would continue to drive forward, hopefully striking a unit that had been depleted for the counterattack, creating a breakthrough that, when exploited, could win the day.

Out of the corner of his eye, Parrish saw one of the natives waving him over. Heading over that way, he was surprised to find the entire group of tribal leaders gathered in the tent. Until now, such a sight would have been unheard of, as the infighting and hate that pervaded the tribes had prevented their leaders from gathering except in mandated conferences with Parrish. Parrish was desperate to avoid a second war, and he hoped that last night’s pledge was still holding, and this meeting was definitely a good sign. Looking around the tent at the faces of his compatriots, whom he hoped were still such, Parrish broke the dam of conversation, “Good morning, my friends, how can I help you?”

The Bantu leader nodded at one of the natives, and Parrish was pleased to note that it was not another Bantu. If the Bantu were allowing other tribes to take the lead in things like this, it could only be a good thing for the future of tribal relations. The man, who seemed to be the group’s spokesman, began to speak, “General Sien, we’ve been in conference for most of the night, discussing what you told us, and we’ve called you here because we were pleased with your honesty today. When you told us about the very real chance of defeat, it was refreshing, and surprising. Honesty is not something we often hear from Europeans.”

Parrish smiled, he knew how Sien would answer this question, and it would help endear him to the natives, “Not all Europeans are the same, gentlemen. My people are, in fact, very much like yours. I have come to Angola through the German government, but I am not German. I am Polish, and for the past hundred years my people have groaned underneath the boot heel of the Germans and the Russians. I work with the Germans because they think I am loyal, and because it is the best way for me to work for my people’s independence. Blyr doesn’t know it, but once I’m in charge, Germany’s going to find out that I’m not quite the lapdog they think I am or need me to be, and Blyr’s going to find out that I’m really not such a loyalist. In many ways, I’m doing this for the same reason you are: to bring freedom to my people.”

The spokesman blinked, and looked around the room at his fellows. What followed was an extended conversation in the natives’ own language, which Parrish could only pick up snippets of. He heard the words “brotherhood,” “victory,” and “different,” but couldn’t figure out just what exactly was being discussed. After a few minutes, the spokesman looked back at him and relayed the group’s message, “It seems that the more we learn about you, General, the more we find that you do not fit our image of a European. You are certainly full of surprises, and it will be our pleasure to march with you, side by side, as brothers, to gain victory over the conquerors. And when the first victory is won, we will stand with you against those who conquer and oppress your people. We pledge this unto you, as brothers.” The word brothers was repeated around the tent by all the natives, and Parrish felt his face break out into a huge grin, Maybe I really have made a difference.

Upon exiting the tent, Parrish was immediately hailed by one of his aides, who handed him a set of field glasses and pointed towards Benguela. Peering through the glasses, Parrish could see the Portuguese gathering their soldiers for an attack. So, they are coming this way. That’ll leave Blyr an opening from the north to slash in. Hopefully he hits the dam just where the crack is. Handing the glasses back to his aide, Parrish strode towards the command center. His unit commanders knew the battle plan, having been briefed on it before the attack had begun, but he wanted to keep monitoring the situation as best he could. Each regiment had been given a roll of telegraph wire that they would be setting up as they advanced, and each Colonel had been ordered to wire back updates whenever possible. If any advance was made in the aftermath of the attack, Parrish wouldn’t lose touch with the situation.

The key was already jittering when Parrish arrived, and his communications workers had several reports waiting for him on the center table. Grabbing the pile and scanning through them quickly, Parrish was pleased with what he saw, none of the reports detailed disaster, and no one appeared to be losing his head. Several of the forward units were already engaged, and were reporting that Portugal was coming at them piecemeal, feeding their units in slowly and one by one, hamstringing their effectiveness. If they kept advancing in this manner, the rebels would have no problem throwing them back and taking the fight to the enemy. Parrish sat down at the table and continued to read the reports as they flowed in at an almost constant rate:

4th Regiment, 2nd Namibe Division, John Gutelle Commanding
Enemy units continue to approach position, but they are doing so slowly and are allowing us to hold them off for the time being. They have sustained moderate casualties, but ours have remained extremely light. Portugal will not be able to break through the lines at our position barring an abrupt shift in their reinforcement strategy. I anticipate that we will soon be advancing from this position. End Message.

2nd Regiment, 1st Namibe Division, Alexander Renault Commanding
Portugal appears to be withdrawing from our section of the line, but it is impossible to determine at this point if they are calling off the attack, or attempting to mass for a large push all along the line. If Portugal manages to get all their units coalesced for a final strike, they could break through at more than one point, and we could be falling back by noon. We need to have units standing ready to reinforce the line and plug any gaps Portugal might create. End Message.

3rd Regiment, 1st Namibe Division, Timothy Orien Commanding
Portugal is bringing their units together for a massed assault. We held them off for almost an hour while they fed them in piecemeal, but now they’re starting to come at us in a much more united manner. We are still keeping them out of our position, but if they keep increasing their reinforcement speed, they will start coming in faster than we can kill them. We need to have units standing ready to reinforce the line and plug any gaps Portugal might create. End Message.

1st Regiment, 3rd Luanda Division, Andrew Reoliu Commanding

Parrish blinked, twice, Luanda? That was Blyr’s command, why were they telegraphing him? He read the report in growing horror:

We’ve been separated from the rest of the attack. Portugal surprised us with a cavalry strike between our position and that of the 3rd, and rode straight through and cut the telegraph lines. We need to be reinforced or our position will be overrun, opening a massive gap in the line. Blyr has no idea what has happened to us, we can only stay in contact with you. Please dispatch reserves. End Message.

Parrish rubbed his eyes. How do I handle this? If he took reserves off the line to aid the Luanda division, he wouldn’t be able to hold off a breakthrough when Portugal launched their massed assault. If he held his reserves back and allowed the Luanda division to be massacred, Portugal would open a large gap in the line and flank both him and Blyr simultaneously. What do I do? What do I do? What do I…

by **Blouman Empire** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:12 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT

11/12

First Name: Andrew
Surname: Lambert
Squad Number: 4
Position: Defender
Club: Highbury
Town of Birth: Achaia
Nation: Holchmain
International Appearances: 45
International Goals: 3

Bio:Andrew is currently the oldest player on the squad and despite being 31 he can still keep up with those nearly a decade younger than him. Over his playing career Andrew has established himself as one of the top centre-backs in the Empire and is an integral part of any team he plays in. His career began with Eldrgide making 15 appearances before being loaned out to Yrelfield three months later the move became permanent and he want on to become a massive hit with the Lyton Park faithful. The following year he helped the club to win the HAF Cup along with a number of personal accolades. Despite the club finishing 12th that season Andrew was still selected to play for Holchmain in the Imperial Cup and his brilliant left foot half volley against Mullton won goal of the season. A year later a move to Highbury followed and was quick to make his mark not only as an adept defender that blocked attacks but also a defender that could score goals. He scored his first goal for the club during his second game as the team went on to beat Lylehamer 5-0 and he would score 5 more times during that season. While injuries the following season kept him on the sidelines when he came back it hadn't hurt his form as his performance in the following rounds proved to any remaining doubters that his defending and attacking parts of his game were still top notch. His consistency paid off as he won his first medal with his club winning the Sellor Paints trophy, the following season he added another HAF Cup victory to his title as well as the league.

Andrew was apart of Sir Nathan's wonder boys at the start of the 62 World Cup qualifiers being bought in by the new coach in an effort to bolster the teams defenses. And while the team still has a high ratio of goals conceded it is because of Andrew that has kept these to a minimum and has allowed the Empire to go from strength to strength. In a recent interview Andrew was showing no signs of slowing down and expressed his desire to continue to play "I'm still feeling as fit as I did when I was 21 I love playing both for the Empire and for my club I can't imagine leaving either anytime soon and plan to continue playing for many years to come". Andrew continues to bring a wealth of experience to the international side and despite his nickname "Gramps" given to him by his fellow players he is a well respected player that others look up to.

Off the field Andrew currently lives with his wife of 10 years Vanessa with his daughter Sophie (8) and his two sons Jack (5) and Ben (2). Andrew has also established Andrew Lambert's Footballing School a footballing organisation to help 5-12 year olds develop their footballing skills.

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:14 am

Silar 0–2 The Inevitable Syndicate
Syndicate: Pratt 33', Birch 89''Another win puts us one step closer to redeeming ourselves, as we beat Silar 2-0 at their home. The teams relationship with Silar has been a complicated one, as we suffered our first World Cup loss to them, in the 50th Baptism of Fire. Nowadays, the national team losing is mostly tradition, but this time we really got to stick it to a team that helped us get our reputation. Our defence was really great, with Silar barely managing to make it past our backline. There were a few tense moments when the Silarians managed to get corners, but Archer did the fantastic job of stopping all the goal attempts. Pratt scored our first goal in the 33rd, opening the door to a fantastic attack from all sides that didn't prove fruitful until one minute before the end of the match. That goal came from Bradley Birch, who hasn't really seen the spotlight in recent times, but reminded us why he is team captain. Hopefully our train of luck continues, and we don't go off the rails.

Chapter i. Negotiations
Chapter ii. Raiders of a Lost Art
Chapter iii. Some Assembly Required
Chapter iv. The Syndicatian Intelligence Agency
Chapter v. Hidden in Plane Sight
Chapter vi. Cramming & Planning
Chapter vii. Pharaohs and Prophecies
Chapter viii. From Fligsive With Love
Chapter ix. Casino Generale
Chapter x. Split Up and Look For Clues
Chapter xi. The Temple of Raresh
Chapter xii. That’s No Room...
Chapter xiii. Diplomacy is the Best Policy
Chapter xiv. Ahlenfi Knows All

An Inconceivable Truth
A Story of Syndicatian Climate Change

Chapter xv. An Irate Emir

Urdan Molothai was rather furious. His own intelligence agency had reported that Abdulkareem Almasi, former Ahlenfi chief of police, had been murdered by a Syndicatian Agent. Apparently they’d heard it from a woman who was present at the bar at the time. As you can probably tell, this wasn’t the ideal news to hear when eating dinner with the leader of that country. So, the Emir reacted in the only way he knew how. Calling his waiters, they tied Browne and his party to the dinner chairs, moved them into the middle of a dark room, gagged them, and locked the doors. Inside were the captives, the Emir, nor brandishing a machete, and three of his personal guard.

”Mmmph mmmph mmmphh!” said Andrew.

“Sorry?” retorted the Emir.

Andrew spat the poorly tied rag out of his mouth. “I said, you’ll never get away with this! The World Assembly will have your head on a stick!”

“I do not care for your World Assembly. In my country, we follow my rules, and murder in cold blood is not one of them. Murder as revenge, however, is perfectly acceptable...”

The Administrator looked at the Emir in a condescending way. “Now, what if the Syndicatian Agent killed the chief of police in revenge? Didn’t think of that one, eh?”

Monty Manteau, Syndicatian Ambassador, tapped his foot in applause. It was at this point his EyeGlass buzzed, with a message from an unknown source.

<?> Manteu. It’s SyndiTek. Please give us your location, we’ll arrange a liberation. I’ve got 5
United National Interception By Operations Tactics
squads ready to fly out to Ahlefni - just tell us where you are!

Perfect. Now he could possibly send for aid. He replied:

<MManteu> In embassy dining hall locked with emir holding machete administrator alive please help

Meanwhile, the Emir was performing one of his famous off-the-cuff long speeches.

“...And that is why you should never have crossed me! Me, of all people! You should know that Ahenfi is a strong nation in times of crisis!” The Emir swung his machete around in a circle. “We have secrets that you would never believe! Things you wouldn’t and couldn’t know exist! And that, my friend, is why you do not cross us! What you did was practically an act of war! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t decapitate you this very second, you bald, Fligsivi Moby lookalike!?”

“Well, for one, I’m not Fligsivi. I was born in Westonbirt, so I would have been Magnaean, if we’re going for those archaic labels. Secondly, if you were to kill me, people would find out, and there are 60.6 million angry Syndicatians that would want you dead. Also, I’m good friends with some other countries that might make you wee yourself a little. Ever heard of a place named Andossa Se Mitrin Vega? Well, you will have once dragons in fighter planes start bombing your cities!”

The Emir raised his brow. This man seemed tough, and yes, he may be a more powerful opponent, but the comparatively young Administrator lacked the vision and the knowledge that the Emir had. He was going to hold these influential politicians to ransom, and with the money, he could finally build the army that he’d always imagined commanding...

by **Paradystopia** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:46 am

"C'mon! Show the camera some love!"
" ... "

click.

"That's it. Show me those big green eyes. Beautiful. Hold it ... Hold that pose ... "
" ... "

click, click ... click ...

"You're doing stunning darling. Just a few more ... "
" ... meow? ... "
"No ... stay still ... C'mon. Just for another few ... "
"Meeeoww ... "

click, click, click.

"And relax. There. Done."
" ... mew ... "
"You were just fabulous darling. Linda, my PA will sort you out with some cream."
" ... mew ... "
"You think so? Honestly darling, I'm flattered."
"Meow"
"Oh stop it, you'll make me blush. Run along darling and Linda will sort you out. Linda? You there hun?"
"What now Charles?"
"Have we heard anything from the new Vegan stadium thingy? Splat and Whiskers have just finished posing for the latest shoot. 'Losing to Audioslavia?'. Wanna see?

Linda sighed

"Wonderful Charles ... "
"Has there been any news?"
"No Charles. Other than those few odd letters from some monks or something. I told you about them didn't I? 'Repent thy heathen ways sinners, but here's a picture of my cat; Zosimus.' etc etc. Other than that, there's been nothing."
"Drat! Oh well, we must keep trying. Do you reckon we should persue the Apox range? I did get some good pictures from Tibbles ... "

"Whatever Charles ... Whatever ... "

World Cup 64 RP Thread

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