World Cup LXI (61) RP Thread

by **Apox** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:13 pm

MK:Hello everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Total Football Takeover, with me, Merlin Kadozan....

JQ:And me, Jon Quillisi. Today we take on Camerania away, a team we beat 4-1 last time. However, they are still a potent threat, and we are away, so there are plenty of reasons to be wary of them.

MK:And while we may be out of contention for qualification for the World Cup proper, there is still reason to keep going and hold our heads up to achieve as high a place in the group we can and try and gain contention for the Cup of Harmony.

JQ:Yes, so there are still a lot of reasons for the boys to play their hearts out. Speaking of which here come the teams now. I'll see you in the commentary box!

*4 minutes later*

O mins, JQ:So hello everyone, the teams are just getting ready here with Apox preparing to start the game off.

6 mins, JQ:A very lively game getting underway here, with a shot just then by Camerania's Drell Marist who is playing well so far. However, it just sneaked wide of the posts to the relief of Jarvis Staniels who probably wouldn't have been able to get there.

10 mins, JQ:And now a chance for Apox, with Dravid Scott driving a shot at the Cameranian goalkeeper who safely got there.

19 mins, JQ:It's a very even game here, but that's not to say it not exciting, the ball's been whizzing about all over the place!

25 mins, JQ:An early yellow for Jennie Scott. Be more careful girl!

38 mins, JQ:Another shot by Camerania, this time a Mel Beuford header off a Hans Kinslander free kick. Luckily that one bounced into Jarvis' hands, preventing the goal.

41 mins, JQ:And now a shot for Apox, Jonty Smith with the header after an Olim Benzari corner!

45+1 mins, JQ:It's all very tense here, 0-0 so far and couldn't be tighter. Time for the inspirational managers talk methinks.

45 mins, JQ:And the players are back, no half time substitutions, Camerania with the kick off.

52 mins, JQ:A yellow for Erik Johansson after a frankly savage kick to get the ball. He looks disappointed with himself.

58 mins, JQ:Steven Frew sends on Marlon Vetta for Chris Maarsden hoping to break the deadlock. Come on Marlon!

62 mins, JQ:A shot for Camerania there, however, it's gone wide again, slightly to the right.

65 mins, JQ:Camerania substitution, Mel Beuford off for Harold Hillard.

72 mins, JQ:APOX WITH THE BREAKTHROUGH!!! A lovely passage of play there, ultimately the ball landing up a Marlon Vetta who uses some of his magic to get the ball into the back of the net! 1-0 to Apox! He's one to watch for the future is Marlon.

78 mins, JQ:Apox still attacking though, we still haven't been able to get the second goal yet.

81 mins, JQ:Camerania now on the a attack, Karl Karlsson sending the ball fizzing up the pitch. Drell MArist can't quite reach in though, and it goes out. Mind you, the defenders weren't ecactly close either.

83 mins, JQ: Frondel Abel comes on for Chris Neguwa for his debut, to loud applause and screaming by the crowd.

9O+2 mins, JQ:It's all over here, and Apox have grabbed a win, good work lads!

MK:A very exciting lead up to the end of our qualification indeed! That win puts us 4th in the table, 1 point behind Sarrbia in 3rd, and equal on points with Ipeland below us. At this stage the table between 3rd and 7th could be completely different at the end of MD19, only time will tell. We'll see you next time when we host Sarrbia in the penultimate game of our qualification campaign. See you then!

Team Sheet from the Match
GK - Jarvis Staniels
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Chris Neguwa sub Fronden Abel 83'
LD - Jennie Scott
RM - Olim Benzari
CM - Ken Rickwright
CM - Jonty Smith
LM - Cas Newan
ST - Chris Maarsden sub Marlon Vetta 58'
ST - Dravid Scott (c)
ST - Oli Weekes

by **Farfadillis** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:59 pm

Fendergéson Numbá was dissapointed after the loss, and decided it was time to make his decision official, tomorrow. However, he wanted to decide the new manager before doing so. After all, Farfadillis had serious chances of entering the CoH in case it didn't qualify.

He looked at all the candidates, he wanted one that would emulate this year's Farfadillis in an even better way.

He checked every one of the teams they had managed, and after seeing their tactics and analyzing them, eventually decided that Forretio Matino was the best manager for Farfadillis.

Forretio Matino had been managing Yipuka Miku Ni Falagaya Reto Fello Firsa Tapueslebenellaare for 26 years by that day, and had won over 15 championships. That sure was impressing. But what impressed him the most was the style of play Yipuka Miku Ni Falagaya Reto Fello Firsa Tapueslebenellaare used: They produced impressive counterattacks that were simply unstoppable. He thought "What would happen if he had Dandalleion on his team?" it was a really good question, as Dandalleion is the best player of the team when it comes to counterattacks. Another thing that impressed him was that Yipuka Miku Ni Falagaya Reto Fello Firsa Tapueslebenellaare used two CAMs too, and both of them were part of the Hujukian national team, Ju Kinaja and Forre Kikenka, both with characteristics similar to those of O'rosso and Tuzzio.

He sighed, after all the moments he had shared with his team, he had to say goodbye to them. But he had to rest, it was late, he was sad, and he had to announce his resigning tomorrow....

by **The Archregimancy** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:28 pm

Dear Leaders of MEN,

Be not discouraged! Be not afraid!

We realise that you may have doubts after the Archregimancy's team has gone three matches without a win!

We appreciate that consecutive draws against the 199th and 154th-ranked teams in the tournament may not fill your hearts with confidence over the righteousness and superiority of Orthodoxy.

We also appreciate that having us explain our sympathy for your shaken confidence in the justness of your conversion for three consecutive matches may be wearing a bit thin.

We would beg you to remember the importance of Orthodox humility. Does not Proverbs 11:2 read "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom". Did not the Apostle Paul write to the Philippians that we should "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves"? Did not the Prophet Zephaniah write that "Seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, you who do what he commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you will be sheltered on the day of the Lord’s anger".

Are not a couple of discouraging World Cup qualification results therefore a just price to pay for being sheltered from the Lord's anger? Should we not accept them in due humility in order to gain eternal life (or World Cup qualification, whichever should happen to come first)? Surely you did not believe that your struggle against the oppressive Dagan matriarchy would be an easy one even after your conversion to Orthodoxy.

Furthermore, we would respectfully point out that we have a match in hand over Antoletia, and West Angola's victory over Farfadillis was actually exceptionally helpful.

So be not discouraged!

Unless we lose to West Angola, in which case you might as well all become Calvinists; not that we'd encourage this, mind.

Yours in Christ,

The Monastic Football Association +

by **United Gordonopia** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:38 pm

Previous Entries in "Norm Bates: Tolten's Fire"

Life moves on. Several years removed, the deep wounds inflicted by the war were beginning to heal. Tolten's factories were producing again. The ruins of neighborhoods were being rebuilt. The loved ones of those lost were finding peace. Many things had changed. Although innumerable workers still labored in Tolten's slums, they did so in better conditions, and with far more opportunities to escape. The corrupt machine that had ruled Tolten for so long had been replaced by a lean bureaucracy working desperately to expunge the remnants of oppression. One thing in Tolten, though, remained the same: Norm Bates was still the king of football.

Three years into the new Gordonopia Premier League, and now in his early thirties, Norm was one of the dominant Gordonopian players at his position, if not the sport. Although West Tolten had only just made the playoffs, thanks to a monumental late-season run, Norm's own performance would possibly be remembered forever. It was to no one's surprise when he had been offered the job of captain for the national team, following the national-team retirement of goalie Ludwig Strauss, one of his oldest foes and at the same time one of his closest friends. What had been a surprise, though, was how stunning his performance would be in the GPL following the announcement. Even at the season-end awards ceremony, where he was a favorite for the Golden Boot, which would make him the first attacking midfielder to win the award for best offensive player in the GPL, he could not believe what he had done.

As the announcer, legendary Gordonopia FC striker Howard Hawkins, strolled on stage, Norm was on the edge of his seat. As soon as the former national team captain began speaking, though, all his nervousness was laid to rest.

"The man about to receive the Golden Boot is a testament not only to the talent Gordonopian football has produced, but to the sport itself. Football is an everyman's game; from the Imperial Family to the poorest child, everyone has the ability to play it. This season's winner rose up from the meanest poverty during the days of the Republic, and has now become one of our sports brightest stars.

I could talk on forever about his past accomplishments in the GFA, about his heroic service in the war, or even about his time on the National Team. The reason for his receiving this award, though, is a culmination of the talent and experience that has made him so great. On top of his outstanding double-digit goals, he has achieved something no one would have believed possible: 31 assists. No other player earned half that number, and unless this man himself is the one to break it, I firmly believe this record will stand the test of time.

Now, without any further introduction, because at this point I'm sure you all know who he is, let me introduce our 2014 Golden Boot winner: West Tolten's Norm Bates!"

As he proceeded to the stage, Norm couldn't help but show the torrent of happiness flowing through him. To have a legend like Hawkins speak so highly of him, and to hear his super-human accomplishment spoken for the nation to hear... he simply couldn't keep his excitement inside. Although the World Cup was fast approaching, and the Gordonopia Cup was immediately in front of him, he couldn't help but think that this would be his greatest legacy. His greatest legacy in football, at least.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:47 pm

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

C'EST UN SCANDALE!
Knight's Inability to Supply Proper G&Ts Leads to Shock Loss

By Anna Comneno, Sports Correspondent

Sports fans across the multiverse were reeling from the news overnight that the Holy Empire had somehow contrived to lose a football match against rank outsiders Oswaldia, who are ranked outside the top 200 teams in the rather confusing version of the World Cup where we occasionally lose matches, even when we vastly outrank the mundy opposition (as opposed to the real World Cup, where the Holy Empire just won for the 61st consecutive time following a frankly rather disappointing 43-1 victory in the final against Cretinia).

However, the reason for this loss is easy to explain.

Upon hearing that Oswaldia were coached by a knight, one 'Sir Don Bartel', the chaps representing the Empire naturally expected a better than average quality of G&Ts to be supplied in the dressing room at half time.

Upon hearing that the tonic water used to mix the G&Ts did not in fact include genuine quinine, but instead featured an inferior artificial substitute, thereby irrevocably tainting not just the flavour, but also the very essence of the G&Ts, the chaps were naturally quite upset.

Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smitho, Mr Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, and Kevin Phillipso-Bong refused to take the field for the second half as a protest against the terrible slur on their honour brought about by these inferior G&Ts, and while they were each replaced by their butlers, one is forced to concede that this had a negative impact on the team's overall quality. After all, who has ever claimed that a mere butler was equal to a chap?

The squad have nonetheless already qualified for the World Cup proper, and are confident that the quality of gin and tonic will prove satisfactory in either ASMV or Valanora, depending on where they end up.

by **Phoenigetuzstha** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:18 pm

QEP News, The Most Watched News Channel in Phoenigetuzstha

Two losses: One expected, One not; Eighteen Dreams: Eighteen Shattered

Phoenigetuzstha recorded two losses over the last two match days, one was to be expected, as Bostopia thrashed Phoenigetuzstha 4-1. The other, was certainly not, a 2-1 loss to Wild Isle. We wouldn't blame you if you had heard nothing about Wild Isle, because, well, we know little to, but we found out what they were about. Wild Isle didn't have a chance at qualification for the tournament proper decided to crush eighteen hopes and dreams, and beat the team. However, there strange, uncivilized appearance and seeming use of tribal arts has raised questions in the Phoenigetuzsthan media. Many noted the wild masked man at the sidelines screeching and howling at the players, often throwing his hands up in the air and worshipping some sort of divinity, or perhaps an evil entity.

Either way, these unclean savages won, and many weren't happy, while no one expected Phoenigetuzstha to qualify, they had been under-performing for the whole tournament, and this could've been forgotten with qualification to the World Cup, something every Phoenigetuzsthan football fan dreams of, but it seems that this won't happen. Phoenigetuzstha will finish their campaign before everybody else, and will have to wait until the final match day to find out their fate, but many are pessimistic as a game against under-performing Chenkorya looms, however, they will probably beat Phoenigetuzstha, because, well, its just our luck. Many people were outraged by the loss against wild isle as was Pari, the new mascot, he strangely became very angered when Wild Isle, won, in fact, we have a picture sent in by someone attending the game:

Pari was clearly unhappy at the loss

Luckily someone was on hand to feed him Marshmallows and Milk before anything serious came of it. But Pari was just one example of the anger people felt, of being robbed a World Cup spot. Now, Bostopia have the advantage, and are expected to finish top of the group. Joining them in the play-off position will either be Phoenigetuzstha or Free South Califas, although, FSC have games against two low ranked sides, and they seem the most likely to attain the play-off spot. It also looks like Phoenigetuzstha may not get a Cup of Harmony invitation either and so, it will be the first season since WC58 were Phoenigetuzstha hasn't qualified for the Cup of Harmony.

by **West Angola** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:30 pm

It was late at night, and the team had gone to bed following a fun (albeit dry) victory party in the hotel lounge. The tiny, hidden radio under Isaac Warren’s mattress buzzed, indicating that its counterpart underground was active. Despite the noise-cancellation headphones Coach Garren had mandated for the team after several blamed their poor play on lack of sleep, Warren felt the buzz and pulled out the radio. Lifting it to his mouth, he whispered: “Warren here, go ahead.”

The voice of his creator answered him: “Go, Parrish must be dealt with, and Garren after him.”

Warren replied, “Affirmative.” He rose from bed, grabbed a few instruments he would need to accomplish his mission, then quietly opened his door and walked into the hallway. Moving silently, he located Parrish’s door and pulled out a small scanner. He held it up to the lock on the door, and the scanner flashed green as it unlocked the door. Warren softly opened it, then moved into the room.

He saw a lone figure sleeping in the room’s only bed, and readied the syringe full of fast-acting poison he would use to remove the threat to his sovereign’s power. As he prepared to stab the syringe into the neck of the sleeping figure, the room’s light suddenly clicked on, momentarily blinding Warren. He sank to his knees as two men emerged from the bathroom and the figure rose from the bed. With a sinking heart, Warren realized it was not Parrish at all, it was the team’s keeper, Jacob Kerys.

Behind him, Luke Parrish and Phillip Garren moved quickly to bind and gag the assassin, then set him in a chair in the center of the room. Parrish turned to Kerys, “Thanks for your help Jacob. Now go get some sleep, I’ll explain everything in the morning.”

“You got it, Luke. See ya in the morning, and I’d better get some answers!”

Kerys left, and Garren turned to Parrish, chuckling, “You pumped his room full of that sedative, didn’t you?”

“I did. He won’t remember a thing from tonight, poor kid.”

“C’mon, it’s better than seeing a respected member of his team try to kill him, then see him assaulted by his coach and best friend, right?”

“I guess. Now, Isaac, you’re going to talk. The entire team is asleep and wearing Phil’s ingenious noise-cancelling headphones, so they can’t hear you even if you did yell. Understood?”

Parrish was met only by steely eyes that communicated quite clearly their captive’s resolve.

He sighed, “Very well, if you insist on making things difficult, then we have no choice but to be difficult ourselves.” He held up a syringe filled with an amber liquid. “This is a truth drug. You’ll sing like a bird, whether you want to or not.”

A crack appeared in the iron look, a slight widening of the eyes, and that told Parrish all he needed to know, they had him. He jabbed the needle into the clone’s arm and shoved down the stopper. He and Garren then removed the gag and began to question their prisoner.

“Where is the real Isaac Warren?”

“If he’s still alive, he’s deep underground, underneath the hotel.”

“Is August down there? And is he alone?”

“Yes, and no, my creator is with him.”

“Your crea-!? You mean the man who cloned Isaac to begin with?”

“Yes, they have Isaac down there.”

“What are they doing to him?”

“My creator said they were going to find out ‘what went wrong with him.’”

“How do we get down there?”

“You have to type a code into the elevator, in the floor selection panel.”

“What is the code?”

The clone’s eyes narrowed as he struggled against giving the answer, but he eventually choked out “1…6…4…8…0…7…2.”

Garren jotted down the code, and the two headed to the elevator, leaving the clone still tied up behind them.

Far underground, August II watched his two greatest enemies descend towards him in the elevator. He called over his associate, Doctor William Danforth Sr., and showed him the video screen.

"We need to break it down, and quickly. I can stop the elevator for about ten minutes, but we need to move fast."

August quickly keyed a few strokes and watched the two fall to the floor in surprise as their downward momentum was spontaneously halted. He jumped up from the chair and ran to the wall, where he cleared away some boxes to reveal a secondary elevator. As Danforth completed breaking down the collapsible equipment, he called across the room to August: "What do we do with the screwup?"

"Stab him with something, he'll be dead before they get here."

Danforth stabbed a syringe into Warren's neck and carried the boxes of collapsible equipment over to the elevator. August primed a charge to blow the shaft after they were gone, then the two jumped in and closed the doors.

Parrish and Garren were in motion immediately. The stoppage had cost them valuable minutes, and they were desperate to make it up. Sadly, they were too late, as their dismayed looks saw no one in the dark basement. No one, that is, except the unmoving body of their friend. The two ran to him and Garren checked his vitals. Excitedly, he looked up at Parrish, "He's still breathing, but just barely, come on!" Parrish picked up Warren and the two reentered the elevator.

A few minutes later, an ambulance sped away from the team hotel. Those unfamiliar with the team assumed it had something to do with drugs, and those who knew of Coach Garren's teetotal policies had no theories, but if anyone had looked in the back of that ambulance, they would have seen Isaac Warren, West Angola's star forward, unconscious in the back. And with him, Luke Parrish, cradling his best friend's head in his lap.

(OOC: Arch, if you're reading this and RP first, Warren is out for the match)

by **Legalese** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:47 pm

Often, The Legalese City Docket would try to come up with snappy headlines, especially for sporting events. Just this time around, the puns and the jokes flew. Among some of the favorites included:

“Choppin’ the wood!” - a 2-1 victory in Camwood.
“Quivering Bones” - a 5-1 victory in Wellboneland.
“Deadmans walking (to defeat)” - the first of the two 5-1 victories over Deadmans
“Queens deforested” - from the 5-0 shocker in the Sylvanaes Queendom; a proud moment for the NT, not exactly the same for The Docket.
The second time with the Sylvanae wasn’t much better for them; attempting to capitalize off of both recent references to the magical archmage reportedly sent to the Deadmans in a failed bid to help them upset the favorites, as well as a three-goal performance by Kelvin Bassford - the man in the shades - the Paper of Record decided to go with “I Put on My Shades and Wizard Hat (Trick).”

So naturally, when the National Team clinched the top of the group spot with a mostly anti-climatic 5-0 win in Budzuela, they had to capitalize on the front cover, in some way.

Below the masthead, the scene set was simple: the National Team on the pitch, shortly after the match was over, celebrating. The captain, Archie Sanroman, was holding the flag, all smiles, while the team mobbed behind them, as they all approached the visitor’s section to thank their loyal supporters.

The headline put it in the simplest terms possible:

Qualified!
Legalese to play in first World Cup finals away from home

A nation and peoples with three centuries of history, both good and bad. Fourteen attempts to qualify, with only one of them successful on a technicality, thanks to some troubles in South Ossetia, and the willingness of the Federation to step in a co-host.

Finally, the fifteenth time was the charm. The Legalese National Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in history.

However, for those looking for semi-tasteless humor from the Docket only needed to open the paper up, for another picture of Gabe Cushing. Unlike the last one they took of him, Gabe was smiling, albeit with his arms folded in front of him.

The caption read: “This time, Gabe is impressed.”

by **Mesoland** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:53 pm

"We can beat Ancharmunn twice, but lose to Slembana twice?"

"Apparently so."

"I call rigging!"

"Shut up, nobody has rigged any matches. We just have an odd team."

"Yeah, an odd team who are now out of the playoff places."

"For now. All we need is another good run and for QPeR to slip up soon."

"Like that will ever happen, they beat Jeru FC 4-1!"

"We drew with Jeru FC and beat QPeR. Remember, anything is possible."

"Strictly speaking that isn't true."

"I know it isn't, but as we have already seen, a lot is possible."

"Do you think we'll qualify?"

"Sure. If we fail to, our world ranking will shoot up."

"Even if we suddenly stop winning, lose all of our upcoming matches and drop to, like, sixth in the group?"

"I assume that you're taking the pessimistic view on this one, eh?"

"Of course I am. We're a low-ranked team in a group filled with bitches who are about 200 places above us. We shouldn't have been second in the group for even one game, and third is rightfully not ours."

"I swear that you are the worst Mesoland fan ever."

"No, I'm just realistic about our chances. I reckon we'll first qualify for World Cup 68."

"Seven tournaments away? I bet you M$100 that we will qualify before World Cup 65."

"You're on."

"Speak to later, Nammi"

"Bye Paul!"

by **Thatius** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:54 pm

Starfall Sentinel

International Edition

Defender's Victory

Moments after Serije Erkocević's surprise goal against the Vampirican-Krumbian Confederacy, the young nineteen year-old shouted "Come on!" and proudly displayed his emotions. Erkocević scored his second-ever goal in World Cup Qualifying, something that obviously would spark an outburst like his. His teammates gathered around him and embraced as a team as the youngest starter on the team accomplished his first goal of the tournament.

Erkocević's goal solidified Thatius' victory over VKC, as the ball found its way in the back of the net in the sixtieth minute. Earlier, Fabijan Tsurenko scored his third goal of the tournament, which had previously demoralized the Vampirican-Krumbian Confederacy team.

While the two goals by the Thatian side sealed the victory, the stalwart defense of Thatius kept them afloat. VKC's forwards Polzin and Pavlov came close to scoring several times, but were stopped just short by the defenders, including Erkocević and Stošović.

With a couple critical clearances by defenders Chase Kowalczyk and Jake McCord, Thatius avoided disaster when the forwards came a little too close to goalie Novák Prakusya. With VKC forced to thrown the ball in, it gave time for the midfield to get back together and for the defense to arrange a counterattack.

Erkocević practicing the day before the match against VKC

This was the second consecutive match where Thatius shut out its opponent. Previously the Firebirds shut out the Capivara Group by a score of 2-0, which was the same score against VKC. Interestingly enough, the other three matches of the group finished in 0-0 ties. Both Mytannion and Swartaz failed to secure a win against their lower-ranked opponents, which has enabled Thatius to catch up and trail Swartaz by only one point.

Now, Thatius only needs to win its next two matches to qualify, as Swartaz has only one game left before a bye day. If this happens, Thatius will finish with 32 points to Swartaz's 30. That's a big if, though. Up next for Thatius is the Cult of Ashely Green, who had previously throttled the Thatian team by a score of 5-1.

New professional career?

Current Thatian number one tennis player and winner of multiple international tournaments, Novak Dlouhý, recently announced his interest in pursuing a soccer career. Whether the twenty year-old will actually has the ability to play at a high level is a good question, seeing as he has never played semi-professional or even college ball.

The only experience Dlouhý has is from his years in high school, where he was the captain of his team, starting out in a position as forward. He pursued soccer in the fall while playing tennis in the spring and summertime. Eventually he chose to go professional in tennis over soccer, because he was much more talented in that field. It was a wise decision for him, seeing as he is now one of the best tennis players in the world, and recently earned a bronze medal at the VII Summer Olympics.

Dlouhý playing in the Thatian Relief Foundations' 'Wight Disaster Relief' soccer match

Dlouhý recently attended a charity event sponsored by the Thatian Relief Foundation, where he and other famous, non-soccer athletes played soccer in Thatius' Frederikstadt National Stadium in front of thousands in order to raise money for those affected by the recent Wight Disaster.

Many praised the tennis player's ability, as Dlouhý scored the most goals and easily overcame any opposition. A few prominent former soccer players watching the match, including Sean Petrauskas, Tommy Petzschner, and Will Szrolzek (all veterans of the Thatian National team) afterwards congratulated Dlouhý on his achievement at the Olympics and applauded his ability on the field.

Szolzek, perhaps jokingly, told him that he should maybe try playing soccer on a major league team. Others around him echoed the sentiment, and encouraged Thatius' number one tennis player to give it a shot. A couple days later, Dlouhý said he was going to try out for the Noikos Canoneers, the professional soccer team for the city of Noikos. His tone was completely serious, but he did admit that his ability was nothing compared to the players on the Thatian National Team.

Good thing too, seeing as we prefer Novak keeping up with tennis and winning tournaments rather than trying a mediocre career in soccer. We know he'll play pretty well in soccer, but he won't be going big, that's for sure.

by **Kinitaria** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:07 pm

KINITARIA'S World Cup dream came to a crushing end following a 0-3 reverse away to Milchama - their worst ever competitive defeat.

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM
Kinitaria will still qualify if:

Milchama lose to both Backyard Sports and
Eastfield Lodge; and Kinitaria defeat both
Perinpanland and Polar Islandstates.
Or, Polar Islandstates lose to both HorusLand
and Kinitaria; and Kinitaria also defeat
Perinpanland.
Or, Milchama draw one and lose one of
their final games; and Kinitaria defeat both
Perinpanland and Polar Islandstates; and
Kinitaria attain at least a 12-goal swing in
two games.

Although they are not mathematically eliminated, the group standings mean that it would take a minor miracle to overhaul either Polar Islandstates or Milchama with two games to go.

It was a harsh ending to Kinitaria's World Cup challenge, as Tofiq Yurovič's men have battled fiercely throughout the competition, but in the end, the skill and experience of Milchama was too much for them. The side now go into the final two matches of the campaign (against Perinpanland and Polar Islandstates) playing for pride rather than points.

The Kinitar manager had made the importance of today's fixture very clear to his side, and they looked to make a good early impression when Luka Sabčot burst through the Milchama lines early on, only to see his swerving effort claimed by Mickey Flint in goal. Kinitaria's attacking outlook, seeking to break down the opposition early, had worked wonders for them in previous games, but the early flurry quickly faded away after Mihalcič saw his 20-yard strike parried away by Flint.

Milchama are ranked almost fifty places higher than Kinitaria in the latest KPB rankings, and they set about proving why almost from the very start. The visitors were lucky not to see themselves go behind when Ricky Pritt's dipping effort almost caught Petran by surprise, the Kinitar keeper spilling the ball but he was able to dive on it just as the onrushing Floyd shaped up to shoot.

Kinitaria found it increasingly difficult to summon up a response to this early pressure and found that frustration would set in early, captain Yulian Kovačev picking up a booking for a characteristically heavy-handed challenge on Ari Haldentrot. The resulting free-kick was whipped in by West onto the head of Tim Roe, but the Milchama striker could only steer it past the post, Petran having the goal well-covered in any case.

The pressure on the visiting defence made a Kinitar chance a rare thing indeed, the front two of Sabčot and Mihalcič increasingly isolated up front as they had nothing to feed on but hopeful long balls punted upfield by the defence. Midway through the first half, Sabčot did manage to get on the end of one of these clearances, but the chance was wasted as the striker, under significant pressure, sliced his shot behind to the jeers of the home fans.

The almost inevitable breakthrough would come not long after. Colin Floyd had already shown himself to be a constant nuisance to the Kinitar defence, and even more so when, collecting Valerie Eres' cross from the right, he had time to chest the ball down and compose himself before chipping the ball expertly into the top corner, leaving Petran with no chance and putting Milchama into the lead.

It was a major blow for Kinitaria, who would have been very happy to see out the half goalless, and began damage limitation techniques almost straight away to ensure that the scoreline didn't get worse during the interval. To neutrals, it looked like desperation as the panicked Kinitar defence whacked the ball well upfield or into the stands at any opportunity. The stopgap plan worked, however temporarily, and Kinitaria were able to see out the half only one goal down, when it could have been significantly worse.

Upon returning to the field for the second half, Kinitaria immediately assumed an all-out-attack position, knowing that they had to get at least two goals in 45 minutes if they were to remain in contention to qualify for the World Cup. They surprised the Milchama defence with some rapid attacks right from the start, Vacarestič nearly catching Flint by surprise with an intended cross which was so close to flying into the net, but for some quick reflexes from the Milchama goalkeeper.

Kinitaria thought they had levelled the scores very shortly, Mihalcič sliding in to poke home Pročazka's ball across the face of goal from two yards out. The celebrations were cut short by the linesman's flag on the near side, something which Tofiq Yurovič took severe exception to, resulting in a severe talking-to from the fourth official. Replays would later prove inconclusive - if Mihalcič was standing offside, there was no more than half a yard in it.

The controversial ruling out of Mihalcič's "goal" seemed to knock some of the fight from the Kinitar side. Milchama were able to force their way back into the dominant position they had enjoyed for most of the first half, the front four keeping the visitors' defence constantly occupied, and nearly forcing their way through when Roe hurdled a Sala challenge, but Costin Petran proved to be equal to the forward's well-struck effort from close range.

Milchama wouldn't have to wait long to seal the game. When the killer goal finally arrived, it was a scrappy one, Avi Haldentrot's cross from the left being headed by Sykora only as far as West, and although the first shot was blocked by Lupei, Pritt's follow-up took a harsh deflection and flew into the net off the side of Sykora. As the goal flew in, several of the Kinitaria players visibly slumped. Their World Cup challenge ended at that moment, and they knew it.

Despite fighting bravely for over 70 minutes, Kinitaria's will dropped at that moment. Milchama would quickly take advantage of their demoralised opponents, Crassis sending a long ball upfield which Pritt took in his stride, the Milchama striker weaving his way into the penalty area before finishing coolly into the top corner, well out of the reach of Petran, for his second goal in five minutes. It put a bit of gloss on the scoreline which was probably unfair on Kinitaria, since they had fought so well, but there was nothing they could do about it.

That's how the game would end, Kinitaria unable to keep hold of the ball for long enough to conjure up a chance of their own, and Milchama not having any need to go forward in search of chances against their beaten group rivals. As the final whistle blew on Kinitaria's ambitions, some of the visiting team slumped to the turf, while their hosts received the acclamation of their fans now that they have surely guaranteed themselves at the very least a playoff spot.

Tofiq Yurovič, after seeing his side crash out of the World Cup:
"Well, it's disappointing, obviously it is. Technically, yes, we can still qualify, but that's going to take some of the most unlikely results, and I'm not going to pretend that it's a realistic possibility. I think we've been very unlucky. I think the key incident is, at 1-0, Lupan [Mihalcič] has scored. The goal's been chalked off - I haven't seen the replay, but from where I was, it looked a perfectly valid goal - and we're left chasing the game. If it's 1-1, we're right back in it, but it's not, we've still got to go upfield and look for goals, and they've ended up capitalising on that and we've gone down 3-0 because of it. It's incidents like these - not wanting to question the integrity of the match officials, they don't have the benefit of twenty different camera angles - but this is what makes you question whether technology's going to be brought into the game. I think we've just seen a great example of why we need it.

The goals - they've got one very good goal before half time, you can't really complain about that, they're ranked top forty for a reason, but it's a blow, coming just before half time, especially when we'd done really well to keep the scores level up to that point. After half-time, a goal down and needing a win, we have to go for it, it's very nearly come off, but then they've caught us with our heads down and all of a sudden, we're out. I don't think 3-0 is a fair scoreline, I'd say we were a little better than that, but there's no question that we were outclassed throughout the game. It was just a step too far in the end. I can only wish Milchama and Polar Islandstates luck in the World Cup finals, assuming they're both there after the playoffs.

Now we have to look at where we go from here. For a start, we've still got two games left of this qualification campaign, and we intend to go out making a fight of it. The players are still playing for their places, we'll be back again to have another shot in the next cycle, the players will know what to expect and hopefully they'll have been boosted by this experience. Perinpanland and Polar Islandstates will still provide stern tests for us, and there's always the lingering possibility that we'll be coming up against Polar Islandstates for a place in the playoffs. How likely that is, I don't know, but we're going to prepare for the Perinpanland game like we would any other. We might not have achieved our aim, and you don't like to admit that as a manager, but we still want to give the fans a good send-off because they've been absolutely brilliant throughout this campaign."

MIL 3 - 0 KIN
(54%) Possession (46%)
(15) Shots (5)
(9) On target (2)
(3) Fouls (7)
(4) Corners (1)
(4) Offside (2)
(1) Yellow cards (2)
(0) Red cards (0)

Kinitaria team ratings: Petran 6, Sala 7, Lupei 7, Andonov 6, Spirlea 7, Vacarestič 7, Naoumov 7, Kovačev 8, Pročazka 7, Mihalcič 6, Sabčot 7.

by **Kiryu-shi** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:57 pm

[excerpted from a press release published by the an amateur news service in Kiryu-shi]

The last time Kiryu-shi qualified for the World Cup, there were a total of 96 teams in qualifications. A second place finish in their eight team group guaranteed them entry to the tournament. With a strong performance throughout the duration of qualifications, with only two losses against the top two seeds, the squad took advantage of home upsets over Commerce Heights and Squornshelous to carry them to 26 points, just one point over Squornshelous, who managed to qualify for a playoff match in third place in the group. They finished with a goal differential of only plus seven.

The Kiri of this year, of course, are a long way away from qualifying. Even if they manage to maintain second position over first seed Saugeais, a difficult task especially when considering that Kiryu-shi will be facing the dominant Aguazul squad in their last match, they will still have to play a one-game playoff to make it to Valanora and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Regardless, this squad may be more dominant than the World Cup 37 squad ever was. With a plus thirteen point goal differential and 27 points, they have come close to matching their best ever 28 points through fourteen matches in World Cup 36 qualifications, but they have allowed far fewer goals compared to that eight year run they enjoyed so many years ago, where they averaged 1.3 goals against per match, compared to only .93 through fourteen matches this year.

However, neither of those two attempts had any matches like their most recent against Unified Falcon, a devastating three nothing loss during which the entire squad looked exhausted and out of place on a football pitch. The Unified Falcon squad, which had only won one match throughout qualifications thus far, looked far superior in all facets of the match, easily taking apart and exposing the Kiri. While a win would have meant that the Kiri would be one point away from clinching a second place finish with two matches left, there is now a high likelihood that they will be battling through their last match. Looking ahead, the Kiri will travel to Balma, who currently occupy last place in the standings. This, of course is no guarantee of anything, as Unified Falcon was occupying that same spot just one week ago. Although the Kiri cruised to a 4-0 victory over Balma at home, since that match, they have lost five of seven matches. With a victory against Armed Bears to start of qualification, the Balma squad has enough talent to steal a victory from the stumbling Kiri. Meanwhile, Saugeais will host North Banrodeisa, a game they should easily handle, before finishing at Cosmic Censorship. If they don’t take six points, the Kiri will find themselves incredibly lucky.

And if Saugeais do take six points, the Kiri may find themselves needing a point against Aguazul, who has played absolutely incredible football in their return to international play. Despite a significant amount of internal discord, Aguazul has maintained a nearly perfect record through qualifications, away at Armed Bears, and a shocking home draw against North Banrodesia in their seventh match. They have quickly shown the reason why they were so dominant prior to their conspicuous absence during World Cup 60. The Kiri will host Aguazul in what will be an incredibly meaningful match for them, either way; the first match to be played at the new center of Kiryu-shi football, the 75,000 person capacity unnamed athletic complex in Sakaino, the home of Kiryu-shi football. While anti-football and anti-internationalization protests are expected to rock the event, the match has already been sold out, presumably to people who have a vested interest in seeing the success of the Kiryu-shi squad. While the Kiri cannot look past Balma, the focus of the nation will likely be on the Aguazul match, which is shaping up to be both a turning point for Kiryu-shi football as well as a turning point, perhaps, for the nation as a whole.

by **Pasarga** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:53 pm

"You lied."

"No, I was mistaken. It was late in the evening and I misread the schedule."

"Lied, mistaken, misinformed, whatever, what you said last week was wrong all the same."

"Alright, I admit, I was wrong, but now a single point secures our spot into the Finals, which is the goal of qualifying anyhow."

"Well, fine, but I still feel disappointed that you were so wrong. If you were wrong about that, what else have you been wrong about, has everything you ever told me been some sort of misinformed opinion?!"

"One mistake does not erase a lifetime of correctness."

"Doesn't it?"

"No it doesn't, now please quit making it such a big deal. I erred and to err is to be human, it is a natural part of life."

"If you insist, but from this point on I shall be questioning everything you say."

"Good on you, you will be more informed than most if you research everything. More in the world could do with that sort of enthusiasm."

"Or maybe just the important things."

*sigh*

by **Polar Islandstates** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:57 pm

"Evenin' Gunnar, the usual?"

"Aye, ta Yannis. Much obliged." answered Gunnar, closing the door of The Auld Creaky behind him and stepping inside as Yannis turned off the radio.

"...WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. THEY HAD A BYE LAST MATCHDAY, I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. BLAH BLAH KINITARIA LOST TO MILCHAMA BLAH BLAH HAVE TO KEEP WINNING TO AVOID THE WARRIORS OVERTAKING US BLAH BLAH THEY KNEW THAT ALREADY. WHAT? NO. NO I'M NOT GOING TO READ THE SCRIPT, THIS IS SILLY. NO. NO. HEY. NO. STOP. LET GO! LET GO OF THE MICROPHO-..." *click*

"That was... odd." mused Gunnar.

"Aye. I do wish they'd drawn though. Would make the next few matches just that little bit easier to plan for." said Yannis, polishing his glass polishing trophy.

"Well, yeah, I suppose, but if we'd beaten them when we had the chance then we wouldn't be in this situation."

"True."

"No sign of Larsen, tonight?" asked Gunnar, looking around for the usual distraction of Larsen appearing to regale them all with tales of matches of yore.

"No, erm, he phoned in sick."

"He what?"

"Yeah. Phoned in sick. Sent me a doctor's note an' all. Strange bloke."

"Indeed he is," agreed Gunnar, taking another sip as there was a knock on the pub door, "...wait, did you hear that?"

"Hear what, mate?" asked Yannis, before noticing the knocking himself. "Why would you knock on the door of a pub in opening hours?"

"No idea, pal." said Gunnar, getting up and opening the door out of curiosity.

To his surprise, a garishly dressed man jumped in through the doorway, dressed in some kind of brightly coloured bard's uniform, he smiled a saccharine smile at the pair of them, before unrolling a scroll of imitation parchment.

"History-a-gram!" he shouted happily, "Courtesy of a Mr Larsen!"

"I don't believe it." said Gunnar, stunned.

"That's a thing?" asked Yannis.

"Indeed, squire!" called the bard again. "Now, if you'll be seated, I shall begin!"

"Wait, you're not going to sing, are you?"

"Oh no no, merely act out the words dramatically, to music, like the old storytellers of yore would have done..."

PIONEERS
With peace across the region by the end of the forties and the borders wide open between Valhallan nations, it was only a matter of time before the scale of players playing domestically in a nation other than that of their nationality was to increase rapidly. There had always been a decent number of players like this, and working permits in most nations for footballers had never been particularly strict, but the unprecedented levels of peace, goodwill, and prosperity, that spread throughout the region in the forties lead to the dropping of all kinds of resctictions as a new period of cooperation began.

Coming soon afterwards were immigrants from outside the Valhallan region - Sargossa, Cotdelapoms, Candelaria and Marquez, the CNCR, West Zirconia, and The Ansernia Islands were all noted for having citizens move to various Valhallan nations at the time, but again, as with inter-Valhallan immigration, there had always been a generous smattering of wholly foreign immigrants playing football in the region.

In 1948 there was one landmark however, notable amongst all others when it came to foreign players in the region. Ezekiel Ademola, refugee of the endless Djocorangan civil skirmishes, was scouted in his local neighbourhood in the north of Spitsbergen, and we soon signed up. He became the first black player to play in any of the Valhallan leagues. Others would follow, Ayegbeni Onyejekwe at East Franz Athletic, George Amaechi at Novaya Sibir Reds, Jean Effiong at Hospitaliers, and Marc Mensah famously of Devon Bay Seals, but Ademola would always be the first, and he would make his debut in a home game against Ilksport IK, who later of course became Ilksporta IK.

MAKING HISTORY
In the 1948 season, Ademola had already made season by being named amongst the KAS squad. He was a raw talent when he was discovered, already half way through his twenties, and he needed considerable training at the start of the season to gain the fitness levels professional football would demand of him. Finally, come May, he was named as a substitute for a home tie against Ilksport IK. Amadeus Kulik opened the scoring for the home side, before Gudjon Svatkowski scored an equaliser. In the second half, with scores still at 1-1, Ademola was sent on for Artem Lauritsen with instructions to act as a supporting striker.

What happened next would pass Ademola's name into legend. Already making history by just walking onto the pitch, Ademola wasn't content with just that, and went onto become the only KAS player to date to score twice on their debut or the club. He wasn't the tallest player, and in a team of Valhallans of typical height, this ws assumed to be something of a disadvantage. What he lacked in natural height he made up for with his spring heels however, and as he produced a mighty leap from a standing start to rise for a corner and head home a winner, he caught the eye of many.

Five minutes later, and he would score his second. Jumping impressively to win the ball in the air once more, he turned on the spot and fed the ball through as instructed to Kulik. Kulik's shot was palmed away by Ilksport keeper Kalle Tronnes, and right back into the path of Ademole, who wasted no time in burying the ball into the net and putting a pleasant shine on the scoreline.

LEGACY
Ademola became an instant cult hero that day, and though KAS would never challenge for trophies whilst he was at the club, his hard working style enamoured him to the fans. Dubbing him "The Djumping Djocorangan', the fans truly took him to heart, and his famed leaps would see him sore plenty of goals over the next few seasons. He eventually retired at the age of 32 when an achilles injury stopped him from utilising his greatest asset, but he was kept on at the club in a coaching capacity. He was truly a trailblazer in the world of Valhallan football, and it is for that, perhaps even more than his playing ability, that he is remembered for, at least outside of KAS circles.

"Okay, that was actually quite impressive."

"Thank you, squire!" said the bard, holding out his hat for tips.

"I particularly enjoyed the part where you mimed along to 'Djumping'..."

"Why, thank you!" smiled the Bard, shaking the hat a little.

"Though, tell me something, you weren't a stripper in a previous job, were you?" asked Gunnar.

"Why yes, I was as a matter of fact." replied the bard, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason..." said Gunnar, peeling a mock authentic pair of harlequinned tights from his lap...

by **Valanora** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:02 pm

Who secures their spots tonight?!

Scores

by **Yesopalitha** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:10 pm

Sparky's Stance

We have done it! Even if we lose the last two games of the Qualifying Cycle, which will be against Ossidiacqua and Conclespia, the Flames will play a winner-to-qualify, loser-out match against either Qazox or Mapletish from Group 17. This is the closest the Flames have ever been to qualifying straight into the World Cup Proper, and will be the best chance so far for them to make some noise and be recognized as a footballing nation in the world.

Amstaad & Bierlin did do their best to contain the Yesopalithan counter-attacking scheme - give credit where it is due - but Yesopalitha would not be denied the important win. They pressed, pressed, and pressed some more until the wall broke, and Hilary Vander Rox hit the shot for the winning goal, starting a celebration.

If the Flames do qualify, I will reveal my name, and the relationship that I have to this wonderful team. They have already secured the best record ever in Flames qualifying history. They have qualified for at least a playoff game for the World Cup Proper spot. The only thing that would be worth more, of course, is if they qualified for the proper itself; that will have to wait.

Until then, my readers and fellow countrymen, we will continue to cheer them on as they aspire to achieve the highest of goals available to them, and look to represent us in the way that we deserve to be represented.

The fire in our hearts and theirs will never be quenched. NEVER.

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:14 pm

Amy Pond and Princess Michelle Sofia Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem

Amy: Hello this is Amy Pond for Naked News Jeruselem at Dazza Dallas Stadium. I'm with the Jeruselem coach Princess Sofia once again.
Sofia: Hey folks
Amy: First things first, Artsakhestan put up fight and went down 3-2 to us
Sofia: We're missing two of our top defenders and this changes how the team played. The opposition might have though we were weak at the back.
Amy: We let in two goals, not very normal at home against such low opposition.
Sofia: Mickey 7 are a different class of team to Artsakhestan. We didn't play all that all.

Amy: 3-2, could have been a lot better.
Sofia: Yes, I think 4-1 was a better scoreline if we didn't make that one mistake and too our chances.
Amy: Mickey 7 beat Bloodbath Generation 4-1 and still might have a chance to take our spot.
Sofia: Pretty much a draw or win for us will seal the deal.
Amy: Mickey 7 need to win regardless to have any chance.
Sofia: They need to win, but they have 2nd spot anyway.

Amy: Based on goal difference we look OK
Sofia: Depends what they use for the tables. We do have a better goal difference.
Amy: Your little girl seems to be very busy still.
Sofia: Two broken fingers isn't going stop my Melody doing where she wants. Might slow her down.
Amy: Interesting choice of song today. Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.
Sofia: It's a good song. I'm bit old for that song since it's aimed at the younger crowd

Amy: Is she going return for the finals?
Sofia: Sure, Melody and Lexi will be back.
Amy: Are you worried about the form slump?
Sofia: Being overconfident is bad, maybe this is a good thing.
Amy: Is Sofia playing next game?
Sofia: No, I don't want risk it.

Amy: There seems to a change in Rachel Meanie lately?
Sofia: She's on her best behaviour.
Amy: I guess breaking the fingers of your daughter really got you mad.
Sofia: That's not half of it.
Amy: You think it's going to be permament?
Sofia: No idea.

Amy: That's it from me and Sofia. See you all later.
Sofia:

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?

Amy: What was that for?
Sofia: Nothing I like singing.
Amy: You're just sneaky getting free attention.

Sofia:

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that

So call me, maybe?

OOC
Michael VII 4-1 Bloodbath Generation
Jeruselem 3-2 Artsakhestan

by **Slembana** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:16 pm

The Slembana Times: Expected loss

By Peter Whiteman, chief football reporter

We have lost 1-0 at Queer Poco el Mono Ara - an expected loss, but our fans would have though that we would have lost 5-0 or 4-0. We were dominant in the first-half, with the Pocoan goalie saving shots from Val Kylx, Dorrin "Donkey" Forrester, and Jyvx Dagens, with the hosts creating little chances themselves.

We were again dominant in the second half, but in the 93rd minute, QPeMA's right-winger crossed the ball into the box. Our captain, Gavin Stockwell, just watched the ball sail over his head as it found itself at the feet of QPeMA's star striker, who bazooked in to score his team's winner, securing his country a play-off spot.

by **Milchama** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:01 am

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Today-Morning-Journal-Enquirer

Spelling Inquirer for a Very Long Time Now!

Sports Section

Opposite Day!

So after an entire campaign of hoping that Kinitaria lose (sure we took care of business when we had to against them but they could have made it easier. Actually, I wish the well on the CoH and they played well but man... You know what this is taking too long back to the point), now Milchama sits on pins and needles and hope that the Turuls can beat Polar Islandstates, or at least draw them. The Warriors sit one point back of Polar Islandstates with 37 and any non-win combined with a Warriors victory will propel Milchama to automatic qualification. Milchama sealed a playoff place to ASMV/Valanora with their 3-0 win over Ittuributa but really after their victory yesterday the Warriors had more or less clinched qualification, only a major screw up would have stopped them.

The Warriors did not screw up, keeping hold of their undefeated record (God it feels nice to say that, finally) by systematically dismantling the Itturbutians with 3 first half goals. Coach Tomasz Ravid said, "This is the type of football that we love and one that we look forward to continuing in the World Cup." After the next game, obviously, the going gets tougher but the Warriors look ready for any challenge that could be thrown at them and we're happy.

But now auto-qualification is out of the Warriors' hands as they do not play Polar Islandstates in their final match, Kiritania do. Yes, Milchama took care of business against the Terns by drawing on the road while systematically destroying them at home-- in a match that won't soon be forgotten by Milchamian fans, or what the Starblaydians(Maybe it's the Krytenians) call a "famous victory"-- but they haven't against other teams (DAMN YOU MIKEY THOMAS AND YOUR ETERNAL COLD!) so they sit one point back.

*By the way who could forget that game? 4 minutes in and Mark O'Donell, of all people, tries his luck from 30 yards out and it goes top corner. Then the Terns are too aggressive and 15 minutes later West scores on a counter. Then they move back but Floyd this time scores on a magnificent free kick just minutes before Haldentrot ends the game with a penalty that Floyd drew. WHAT A MATCH!

So now opposite day is upon us. After rooting a whole qualification for them to fail we with the Kiritania Turuls a great match and a victory. While we, of course, beat Eastfield Lodge and automatically qualify. Yes,the Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Today-Morning-Journal-Enquirer will score board watching, as will every other Milchama Warrior fan. Kiritania do not fail us now!

Come on You Turuls!

Come on You Warriors!

Let's Go Milchama!

by **Ko-oren** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:09 am

One to go, may it be over soon

Ko-oren won the latest match of the World Cup 61 Qualifying stage. Baltskandio, the team with a good run for the last few matches, proved no match for the Greenblues: 1-0 in the stadium in Tangku. This smoothed the overall results out to 6-3-6, meaning for the first time since a few qualifying stages, Ko-oren won as much as it lost. Baltskandio is now only one point above Ko-oren, and the New Montreal States are again two above that, meaning that on the last day, if everything goes fine, Ko-oren might finish at a decent third place. Mashiki lost their match, so there’s just a small risk Ko-oren ends sixth: Ko-oren needs to lose, Mashiki needs to win, and the difference in goal difference of 13 must be fixed in these two matches. Given that the last match is against number 9 Urbis Tractus, one could say the fifth place has been conquered. Baltskandio and New Montreal States also face each other on the last day, which means that if this match ends in a draw, and Ko-oren wins by three goals, Ko-oren will end up third of the group. If either of the two teams win in their match, Ko-oren will be fourth behind the winner (given that Ko-oren beats UT).

Against the anonymity that the players of Baltskandio were, the Ko-orenite team finally used their 5-0-5 tactic well. Leire and Fenner aided the defence, while Hel came together with the strikers in this match. These three players acted as makeshift midfield when it was needed, though the tactic was based on fluid defending and attacking by blocks, not per se avoiding midfield. The starting eleven was exactly the same as always, especially in this important match. Had this been lost or drawn, Ko-oren would be fifth without a prospect of doing any better.

The only goal in the dirty match was by Shiribeshi (who else). The most interesting statistic was that there were 10 yellow cards and 2 reds in this match, showing that the outcome was very important to both teams. It was even a wonder a goal could be scored in between the violence…

Match Stats:
1 Goals 0
3 Shots on Target 1
6 Shots total 4
4 Yellow Cards 6
1 Red Cards 1
50% Possession 50%

by **Wight** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:10 am

by **Warkus** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:21 am

The Ultimate Training Session

Part V

The team had just about enough of this. Lose, after loss, after loss. Heck, they even lost to a bunch of mountain-dwelling monks! This whole trip had been nothing but humiliation. Every time they thought that they had mastered something, they were kicked back on to the ground. It was like the entire world was spitting in their faces.

Everything kept being undone. Every achievement, every victory. It was about time that they found some glory, right? Luckily for them, Mira had shined upon their souls. The monks had finally agreed to let them into their community and teach them their secrets.

The monks explained that the lads needed to go through a certain amount of endurance testing, as well as frustration testing, in order to obtain these powers. Mira would never shine on a lazy person, she hates those kind of people. The key to unlocking their potential was very simple.

Jump off the mountain.

Oh, you should have seen their faces. It took a lot of convincing to get anyone to jump. The true intent was to get them to face death. Facing death itself would bestow them their much wanted physical capibilites, as well as being able to summon the manifestation of their personality (+1 to whoever gets that reference) in a crisis or by facing death itself again.

After a lot of screaming, struggling and crying, they had all succeed in summoning their powers. They weren't monks, however, and so did not have crazy elemental powers. They merely possessed highly improved physical capabilities, inhuman reflexes and the use of their persona that they would never learn how to use.

Now it was time for a rematch. No more regrets, no more failures.

They were going to bask in all the glory man could ever receive.

by **Turori** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:07 am

FAT IN STADIUM SHORTAGE FEAR

(ooc: The post below is a pre-CoH Set up. Obviously it is only an 'In-Character' situation, and has no *actual* impact on Turori's ability to scorinate the upcoming Cup of Harmony

)

The Football Association of Turori risks being left with egg on its face after reports that there are not enough stadiums available in the Island Emirate of international caliber to host all 64 matches of the Cup of Harmony in the compressed World Cup-style time schedule required to complete the competition prior to the World Cup Final.

Although the Island Emirate has previously hosted the Cup of Harmony in a solo fashion, the last Turorian Cup of Harmony saw far fewer participant nations and required just 4 host venues in Turori.

The current Cup of Harmony plan outlines the use of 16 venues to host 8 groups of 4 teams with concurrent matchdays.

Unfortunately for the Island Emirate, it is rumored that only 7 of its proposed venues had been cleared to host International matches with the required space for press, visiting fan bases and officials.

That reportedly leaves the Football Association of Turori 9 venues short of being able to host the Cup of Harmony entirely on Turorian soil.

The hosting of Cup of Harmony 53 was an important milestone for the Island Emirate, attempting to show their non-reliance on 'big brother' Vilita to succeed in the international arena once again. As such, it is unlikely that the Football Association plans to reach out to their bigger half for assistance in hosting the tournament, despite the logistical simplicity of such an arrangement.

Football Association of Turori representatives have been seen at the offices of the Starblaydi FA, Geisenfried and Wight - initially believed to be extending personal invitations to the tournament to these Football Associations. However, subsequent visits to Falcania, Pacitalia and Legalese raise new questions about whether something else is brewing in Turori as officials look to secure the stadiums needed to entertain the worlds... second best group of national football teams in the 53rd Cup of Harmony.

by **Kiryu-shi** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:57 am

Marja Mayberry sat in the stands of the newly christened Sakaino Stadium. The official opening of the stadium, where football and university officials were finally granted permission to take a tour of the facilities, had concluded three hours ago already, and the sun was setting across the grass. She noted that if matches were to be played during this part of the early evening, the sun would be setting from the left side of the field to the right.

Not that the information would be particularly useful to her.

Her team was resting, an obligatory day off following the trip abroad. It was a gut-wrenching win, an effort that Mayberry was extremely proud of, but what could have been an easy victory on paper was once again, an excruciatingly difficult match. The difference was, that this time they managed to pull ahead at the end of the match, with a haphazard mess of a goal that Ian McGuinness finally put into the net. He was such a talented young man, a joy to watch on the pitch, level-headed an even-keeled, an instant calming presence in midfield where he was perhaps more able to direct an attack than Lidia Barnes ever was. He would be a lot of fun to watch for a long time to come, she knew.

It was when she allowed herself thoughts like this that doubts crept into her mind. She had never imagined that football in Kiryu-shi would ever look like this, even when she started advocating for the return of youth leagues, when she wasn’t much older than the veterans of her team now… She had thought, maybe, that there was a remote chance that the Kiryu-shi government would allow a national team to compete in regional tournaments, or something similar. To think that decades of hard work and resilience would culminate in something as grand as this… It was unbelievable.

A national team that showed promise at the international level, with young talent filtering through.

A brand new stadium, a world-class stadium fully capable of hosting international teams without any drop-off in quality! Unbelievable!

And a chance, however remote, of qualifying for the World Cup. Two wins and there they would be… Or a draw and a win. Or a loss, some incredible luck, and a win. If only the tiebreakers were conducted differently…

Mayberry stood and walked down the steps of the stadium, listening to the echo of her shoe bouncing faintly off of the cavernous building. When would she ever have this opportunity again in her life?

If the Kiri did lose, as was predicted, against Aguazul in the final match of qualifications, and if Saugeais won, that would be the end of her career, and the end of her affiliation with Kiryu-shi football. She would turn sixty in a matter of months. This was her third attempt at qualifying for the World Cup, and she was exhausted.

She wasn’t sure who her predecessor would be, but whoever it was, it wouldn’t be fair if she kept hovering over the national program; that much she knew. Any coach would have to have the chance to make their own imprint on the team, decide for themselves how they wanted the squad to look. She would leave them all of her notes, all of the scouting reports, any materials she had produced, ever. But she knew that she’d force herself to stay away from direct contact.

Mayberry hopped a short fence, and made her way onto the center of the field. The wind here wasn’t the same as it was in the previous complex, where the lack of true stadium walls meant that the strong gusts of wind that flowed up from the bay were immediately noticeable on the field of play at all times. This stadium would probably play more evenly, there would be no need to compensate for the wind at a all times. She would make sure to write this down. Although whoever the next coach was, they would likely never know that there ever was an issue with the wind here.

They would never know how hard she worked just to even be able to field a team. They would never know just how inconceivable it was for this stadium to be here. How utterly insane she felt when she first started on this crusade, and how far away this should have been the realm of possibility… No matter what the result against Aguazul was, she knew she had given it her all. Not just qualifications. But this program, this team. The young players she had nurtured, shielding them as best she could from the political realities that they represented. She had dedicated her life to be able to see them play the game she had so enjoyed as a child in her grandfather’s backyard, playing covertly so the neighbors would never know. She loved this team. Each and every person on it. Everything it represented…

By the time she made it to the center of the pitch, her cheeks were dotted with faint tears, and she could hardly make out the grand arena all around her. This would be, she knew, the first and last time she would ever be here alone.

by **Starblaydia** » Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:45 am

OOC: An RP in which Star finally explains over the course of one fairly large RP, instead of a Qualification period's worth, what happened with his WC60 team, should anyone actually care (which is probably Arch and little else).

"So what, exactly," Julius Starblayde said to his most distinguished guest, "happened to 'the team' in the last Cup?"

"If you remember from the build-up to World Cup 60," Simeone Di Bradini replied, "I'd wanted the SFA to take up The Holy Empire's offer of a team of Dreamed Realm-imagined Starblaydi simulacrum to celebrate it. Starblaydia - and Krytenia, of course - didn't win the hosting rights and hadn't fielded a team at senior international football for about a decade, or so. I decided to ask the oneirologists to program me a team of Starblaydi legends."

"Program?" Julius asked, more than a little puzzled. The President of the SFA and Starblaydia's - indeed arguably the world's - most famous footballer talking to each other was no small event, even if it was at a specially convened football gathering. Lord-Protector Curzon Starblayde, just like his father before him, held a soirée every time Starblaydia were playing a major international match, be it qualifiers, friendlies or Cups themselves. This was one of the first occasions, outside of an interesting World Cup Final, when one was held without Starblaydia playing. The outcome of the two matches to be shown, Ko-oren versus Baltskandio and New Montreal States versus Mashiki, were vital to Starblaydia's hopes at grabbing the Play-Off place in the group and no right-thinking Starblaydi fan would be ignoring these games.

Getting Simeone Di Bradini alone long enough for a chat had been hard enough. When the question of World Cup 60 came up, the volume of their conversation had lowered by necessity. Onlookers, however, now realised that it would not be an appropriate time to disturb them.

"Dreamed Realm constructs need to be, well..." Simeone hesitated, not for the life of him understanding how it all worked, and the thought that he could be a 'programmed' version of his former, now long dead, self was more than a little uncomfortable, "constructs of something. You just need to choose that something. It's all very technical, magical and unreal."

"But..." Jules began.

"First of all," Simeone pressed on regardless, lest his lack of knowledge be exposed, "I thought about a team just composed of me. They did chant about dreaming of a 'team of SDBs' once. That was quickly turned into a team of STDs by the opposition, though, so I decided against that. Then I thought about some sort of Starblaydi All-Time Eleven, but that was too difficult to choose between squads for the five World Cup, six AOCAF, two Under-21 and the Olympics that Starblaydia have won. Up until this point in history, at least," Simeone smiled knowingly at Julius, because the way time worked in the Dreamed Realm it was possible to know the outcome of every tournament ever, all at once. "So I asked the oneirologists to select me one based on some simple criteria."

"Which were?" Jules asked, wondering what some ohnearlyologists would make of the myriad of available football statistics of Starblaydi players.

"I wanted players who the entire nation could get behind. I wanted to represent Starblaydia, Nemya, Nova Britannicus, Aquiliana, Karak D'Ragh and Yánataurë, so everyone in the nation has at least one person to root for, man, woman, Dwarf or Elf. I asked for players who were around when Starblaydia was great, when the national team's drive was at its highest and we surged along on as a white and purple tide."

"And what did you get? What team was it?"

"Well." Simeone said uncomfortably, clearing his throat. "Funnily enough they took all that into consideration, and it seems that I wasn't specific enough. If I'd asked for World and AOCAF Cup winners from Starblaydia's glory days, with the most caps, most goals and selections for the Hall of Fame included, we would have won the World Cup without even trying. They took my words at face value, and selected the sort of squad that... well..."

"Would have included me?" Jules broke the tension masterfully with an easy, self-depreciating quip that came naturally to him, and would have dissolved any awkwardness in a thousand different conversation topics. Unfortunately, this was not one of those topics.

"Erm, yes," Simeone said sheepishly, before explaining, "there was this glowing pool of energy that flowed down like a curtain from the top side of an object that I can best describe as a big, black obsidian or marble-type doorframe. The first player to step out, in full kit and everything, was Nikola bloody Lazerevski."

"Laser?" Jules exclaimed, "they picked Nikola Laser Lazerevski as the the main striker? All fifteen goals from a hundred-whatever years ago?"

"The very same," Simeone nodded, "which didn't inspire that much confidence. I can think of half a dozen better strikers off the top of my head, but I figured he'd be there for a reason. Partnerships, or something. Then out came my old friend Khim Azanulbizarn. Now he was a neat left-back, and a Dwarf to boot of course. Then there was Lex Panarii, for defensive midfield."

"Sounds alright so far," Jules said, frowning slightly.

"'Alright' is about as close as it got," Simeone agreed, "they had been selecting players based on the surges in Starblaydi national pride and the wave of energy, for want of a better description, around the national team. Not necessarily the best players, just players from the best time. Bloody oneirologists."

"So what was the whole team like?"

"We, or rather I," he quickly corrected, "Juan Tzimices said it was more the Simeone Football Association team than the Starblaydi FA, had Paola Mendez in goal, who was pretty good, won absolutely nothing, and had every female hope in the country behind her. The back four was Azanulbizarn, filling in the Dwarf quota, Darijo Cravex for his patriotism, Tororin Halatyrion for the Elf quota and his versatility, with Francisco Ibanez at left back."

"Iban the Terrible? What on earth was he in there for?" Jules was struggling to see the logic, if any.

"Opposition fans, and players, hated him," Simeone explained, "he got such stick from the Sarzonians that the Starblaydi people loved him. He was a bit of an enforcer, too, and maybe they thought he balanced out the lack of... 'physical presence' in the side. I don't know. The midfield was yourself, Lex Panarii, Jaime Kuu and Stefanos Stantzos."

"Who?"

"Exactly, Stantzos was around the time of all our major victories and Cups in the mid-to-late twenties. He never made the teams, of course, but he was around at the time, and also probably because he was Nemyan, get that quota in. As an attacking midfielder, though, he was awful. He was replaced by Ázëwyn Fëanáro - the real one, that is - when she offered to join up."

"She owed you a favour or something?"

"Something like that," Simeone said, remembering battles of old, of flying purple banners, golden eagles, steel and boiled leather, "up front, Lazerevski was partnered by Nicole Maitland-Banks, who I guess was there because she was pretty good, and filled the Nova Britannican spot."

Simeone had obviously finished speaking about his team, though his mind was drawn to the sounds of men's screams, steel parting flesh, and thousands of feet trudging in the mud. It was more than a few moments before the President of the SFA broke their silence.

"I had wondered if that had been a dream, or," Jules said quietly, not mentioning Chorus, "something else."

"You remember it?" Simeone snapped out of his battle reverie.

"Like a dream that is escaping from you when you wake," Jules tried to explain, "like I can only now remember having remembered it, if you get my meaning. It's always one step away from actually being a memory."

The two men looked at each other, understanding. The Dreamed Realm was not a place were mortals, or 'mundies' like themselves would usually meddle in. Simeone was different to most mundies, though he still had a hard time coming to terms with it, even after the nearly hundred years of mundy time he'd spent there. Time was irrelevant, after all. He'd commanded medieval and fantastical armies, fought more battles and assistant-coached more football games than he could easily count, as well as the starships he'd commanded, worlds he'd visited and enemies he'd faced and, generally, overcome. It was a long while before something broke the silence.

<And Shiribeshi has scored! The deadlock is broken here by Ko-oren, and - if it stays like this, Baltskandio are eliminated! One challenger, the closest challenger, to Starblaydia in the Play-Off round for the 61st World Cup is out of contention!>

"They'd better not mess this up now," Chorus said to Jules. He silently prayed that Simeone could not hear her. The answer that came back gave him a surprising feeling in his chest, as it sounded warm and, maybe even loving. "He can't. Just you."

Don't Mention the Draw
Fr. Juan's team to 'push for win' versus Geisenfried
After last night's matches, Starblaydia just need a point. One point in their final match, a draw or better, and they will be in the hat among twenty other teams to decide the final ten places at the 61st World Cup. The last time - their most recent match, in fact - Starblaydia had possession a draw and pushed for a win, they ended up with a loss.

A single point will make Starblaydia uncatchable in second place, as New Montreal States sit three points behind them thanks to a cruise of a 3-0 win against Mashiki. Ko-oren again did Starblaydia a favour, as Shiribeshi's single goal in a dreary match that finished ten-a-side ultimately saw Baltskandio eliminated from contention. Baltskandio themselves could do Starblaydia's job for them, as anything but an NMS win sees them finish below Starblaydia. In fact, the only combination that could see Starblaydia not secure the Play-Off position is a loss to Geisenfried along with New Montreal States defeating Baltskandio with enough goals to overcome Starblaydia's five-goal advantage.

Even then, if Starblaydia and NMS finish level on Goal Difference, Head-to-Head results come into play, where Starblaydia have the advantage with a Win and a Draw against their regional rivals. It has come down between to the two AO nations for the final spot. Rushmore occupy first and fourth, with 10000 Islands in fifth, making Group 12 an intriguing inter-regional picture.

So Matchday 18 will see Baltskandio take on New Montreal States and the much more important match of Geisenfried hosting the visit of Starblaydia. Then tension is already palpable, can you imagine what it will be like if Starblaydia get to the Play-Offs themselves? Valanora and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega is on the other side of the door. Starblaydia just need to open it and step through into the promised land.
World Cup 61 Qualifying Group 12, Matchday 17
Ps Team                      P   W  D  L  GF  GA  GD Pts
_1 The FSSO                 15  13  2  0  54  17  37  41  Q_
 2 Starblaydia              15   8  2  5  30  21   9  26    
 3 New Montreal States      15   7  2  6  25  21   4  23
 4 Baltskandio              15   6  4  5  25  23   2  22  E
 5 Ko-oren                  15   6  3  6  22  21   1  21  E
 6 Mashiki                  15   5  3  7  15  27 -12  18  E
 7 Geisenfried              15   4  4  7  13  21  -8  16  E
 8 Aexalla                  16   4  3  9  12  32 -20  15  E
 9 Urbis Tractus            15   2  3 10  14  27 -13   9  E

World Cup LXI (61) RP Thread

WC-61 #10

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