World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

by **Saugeais** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:03 pm

Cut off!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, one of my favorite Top Gear segments.

Scores to follow.

by **Maklohi Vai** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:05 pm

EDIT: Two minutes after cutoff. --_--
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Klaus was going to his car, walking through the parking lot of the practice facility. A man awaited.

"How you doin', bro?"

"Sorry?"

"You play football?"

"Yeah..."

"Cool, man. Hey, I got a proposal fo'you."

"Ok..."

"Why dontchu drop by SoWak tomorrow? Go to the west beach."

"No, thank you."

"Go to the west beach." Something sinister had appeared.

"No, thank you."

"You hear what I say?" The man pulled back his jacket to reveal a gun strapped to his waistband.

"Yes, I did, and I'm not coming."

"You gon make a bad decision here?"

"No. I'm sorry, but I'm not coming."

The man pulled the gun out of his waistband and twirled it as he spoke. "Interesting. Y'own life, I suppose. We'll be in touch."

As he left, Klaus jumped into his car. The first call went to his mother.

"Mom, a guy just accosted me in the parking lot. I'm ok, but he wanted me to go to the west beach in SoWak."

"Honey, oh my goodness. You said no?"

"Yes, I did, but I'm scared. He had a gun, and he said we would be in touch."

"You have to call the team, now."

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you too, honey. Call the team now."
*click*

*ring ring*
"Hello?"

"Hi coach, this is Klaus."

"Hi, what's up?"

"I was just accosted in the parking lot by a man with a gun who wanted me to go to the west beach in SoWak. I am unhurt."

"I am calling security right now. Give me a second.......
Ok, done. Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Klaus, I don't want you to be alone for a while, ok? When you get home, invite some friends over. We'll have someone go to and from practice with you."

"Is that really nec----"

"Yes, it is. Now, do you have anything else or do you just want to go home?"

"Just home, just home."

"Ok, I'll let you go, then. Stay safe."

"Thanks."
*click*

by **Karditan** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:35 pm

"Heeeey, homies, look at what the gato dragged in." A group of shady-looking teens were smoking in one of the darker corners of the old rail station, leering as what was obviously the only intelligent being in a three-block radius that isn't ethnically Audioslavian walked in. "You lost, old man? The glue factory is down the street!"

"I know," said Sucker, "I own it. It's not that hard to turn humans into glue, y'know, so you best keep your trap shut."

"Ooooh, I'm so scaaared," mocked the tallest of the group. "I'm shaking in my boots, puto."

"Look, I'm not here to start any trouble. Where's the ticket dealer?"

One of the other delinquents pushed himself to the front and put a hand on the leader's chest. "Hold on a minute, Mateo. I know this horse."

"Is that your madre, Jaime?" called a voice from outside the station.

"Goddammit, Julio!" shouted Jaime, looking outside. "Stop following me around! Do you really have nothing better to do than make out-of-context jokes?" When there was no response, he sighed and turned back to Sucker. "I hate that guy. Anyway, this is that Sucker from the first game we saw outside Audioslavia. Remember, holmes?"

"Oh, yeah!" said Mateo, coming to the front again, wearing a wicked grin. "In Aguazul. Baptism of Fire final. One-oh."

Sucker looked around the nigh-empty station, then did the pony's equivalent of a shrug. "So? That was a long time ago. You guys still didn't answer my question."

Mateo's grin dampened a bit, a bit disappointed at the lack of a reaction. "I'm the ticket guy. Wasn't any other jobs open, and a guy needs his dinero. Where you headin'?"

"Deabruaren zakila."

"Now why the hell would you want to go to a place like that?"

Sucker facehoofed (careful not to bang his horn) and telekinetically grabbed his wallet. "Look, I really don't care to satiate some kids' morbid curiosity. Just give me the ticket and I'll give you the cash."

"...fine." Mateo went back to his workstation (cleverly hidden behind a faux wall, for some reason), cut off a ticket and brought it to Sucker. "Twenty machs." The differing slips of paper changed hands/hooves, just as the train rolled into the station, the sleek steel body sharply contrasting the old stone walls.

Sucker nodded politely, hoping the group didn't jump him when he turned away, and headed to board. The porter seemed surprised that someone was actually boarding from Tren Geltokia, and made way for the unicorn to board.

Back in the station, Mateo went to his station and tore off another ticket. "Jaime, cover for me."

"Why, man? You want that guy's autograph?"

"No... I just got a feeling."

by **Jeruselem** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:26 pm

Princess Katy's Blog 28/06/2013

I'm in Telnaior for another World Cup qualification game. Didn't start well then Customs there thought I was hiding stuff in my boobs since they wouldn't have believe they were real so I got strip searched. Doesn't bother me since I don't wear clothes most of the time. Well they found nothing and had to apologise since they realised I was a REAL princess since they didn't believe I was actually one. And then someone bitch stole my shoes later. Speak about a good start to an overseas trip. And then the cleaners didn't clean my room when I got there ... Katy wasn't a happy camper, since I paid good money for the premium room in the hotel.

Some of the team were not feeling well after the trip. Plane food is suspect at best as you all know. As for the game itself, we did win but the defense were a bit tardy. Actually two of the defenders couldn't play due to continuing issues with the plane food so it wasn't a normal team lineup. The replacements were a bit rusty I guess. But we scored lots of goals, and this is good. A good run of goal scoring as of late. This is good news.

The local press quizzed fruity about her nudie thing last game. A bit embarassing for her since she's not the type. I couldn't help her as I was complaining to the hotel about my room.

I hear about goings on the Jeru FC camp. No more coffee apparently, like decaf tea instead. I mean how is one truly wake up without caffeine. The decision was purely made the army to save some money. Decaf tea, yukko! At least they got real coffee in Vakolic where they won 4-0. My sister has her own stash since army coffee was pretty horrible, like stuff you pick off the floor.

Kinitaria still doing good despite a recent away draw. Well you can't win all your games I suppose.

My new single is coming out soon. My lawyers are still arguing about crap like digital rights so you'll have to wait. It's all not under my control. Far too much legal crap in the music business.

Last thing, I do have a boyfriend. You don't see him much though. He takes images of naked women for a living, a great job if you can get it. He likes his job. I can't blame him either.

Telnaior 3–4 Jeruselem
Vakolic 0–4 Jeru FC
Lahoa 1–1 Kinitaria

by **Qazox** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:30 pm

Somewhere in Kaznan:

Two straight draws for Qazox to conclude the first half of qualifying, the second a unsatisfying 1-1 draw at Kaznan. Florence Schumer's goal in the 81st minute broke an 176 minute scoreless drought for the Wolves, but to have only scored 2 goals against three of the pre-qualifying lightweight teams is not good.

As the second half begins in 3 weeks, Qazox needs to find the scoring spark they had in the first month of qualifying, or else they might be nickel and dimed out of the World Cup.

GOALS:
Kaznan- 63'
Schumer- 81'

by **Sondstead** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:24 pm

World Cup 65: Fans and team "humiliated" by loss
2–0 loss against Saintland sparks protests, rioting in Windstrand; "Our mutual disgust was palpable"

28 June 2013

_{City police stand watch in Eästerkjirkjh
during one of the worst instances of
hooliganism in recent decades.}

Windstrand — Facing Saintland at Eästerkjirkjh Stadium, Sondstead suffered a clean sheet loss, turning protests against Saintland's totalitarian government into uncharacteristic rioting, described as among the worst instances of hooliganism in the recent history of Sondsteadish football.

Before the game even began, the visiting team faced protests from the locals expressing solidarity with the banned human rights organizations Feministus Sanctusterra and Vindicta Progressum. Thousands of football fans and protestors held placards along the route between Nörditser airport and the team's hotel, with some female protestors chose to go topless in protest of the country's subjugation of women. The size of the protests were deemed to make a federal police escort necessary, although the federal government stressed it's support for the protestors' right to make their opinions known.

"In a free country there are no rights more sacrosanct than free speech, and we have every intention of allowing peaceful protest to continue.", said interior minister Rübert Kle̊mssunr "Furthermore I personally sympathize with much of what is being expressed, a view which I believe the government shares. However, these protests must remain peaceful and non-disruptive.".

The Sondsteadish team appeared to support the protests itself on the pitch, with the entire team donning pink armbands in sympathy and with Katie Ästerssünr — the team's first female player — filling in for Jen Weäldrberg in the team's 4-3-3 formation. Karl E̊nokssunr filled in for Adam Edelwülfssünr as keeper and Möhmet Dale̊r filled in for Karl Sude̊rman on the midfield. Sondstead started with an offence-focused strategy against the more defensive Saintland team.

Quickly though, it became apparent that Sondstead was outclassed by Saintland, with Saintlander forward Stephanus Vagionius scoring at 16 minutes in, despite playing in a more defence-heavy 5-3-1-1 formation. Afterwards, Sondstead scrambled to hold off Saintland; a well-placed shot from Tom Markussunr at 30 minutes set up Ästerssünr for a crucial possible goal opportunity, but was judged to have been an offside offence, granting a corner kick to Saintland, which was taken by Prince Andreas, passing to Nicolaus Poenius. E̊nokssunr barely managed to block Poenius's shot.

From then on, Sondstead was left disorganized and scrambling to hold off an aggressive offence from Saintland. Following halftime, the Sondsteadish team returned to the pitch in a 4-4-2 formation, with Kalju Rummo returning to the bench in favour of midfielder Arjus Henrikjrssünr. From the start, Saintland went on the offensive with Sondstead attempting to hang on. Soon after the beginning of the second Poenius scored a second goal (and Andreas scored an assist) at 56 minutes in, leaving Sondstead unlikely to be able to catch up. Despite Sondstead managing to narrowly hold off Saintland for the rest of the second half, they were unable to score a single goal of their own, ending the game with a clean sheet loss.

"We were humiliated.", said Katie Ästerssünr in a post game interview. "Teams like Karditan or Wight I could've lost to and still respected them, but as a woman, I have very little respect for Saintland. If any.".

Even before the Sondstead fans exited the stadium, the atmosphere had turned uglier, with some fans chanting mocking slogans describing Iulietta Perquitienus (best known as a singer for Cantus Virginum, a girl group extremely popular in Saintland) as "frigid" and "self-hating".

"It was clear that the Saintlander fans were not enjoying Sondstead and that our fans did not like the visitors.", one spectator said of the crowed. "Our mutual disgust was palpable.".

Both the opposing team and it's fans were heckled as they exited the stadium, and angered Sondsteadish fans, numbering in the hundreds and many of them intoxicated, blocked some of the roads around the stadium, set fire to cars and buildings, and clashed with police and visiting fans, requiring a further federal police escort for the Saintland team's motorcade. Many rioters also expressed solidarity with student protestors in Brunswick-Swabia. Following rumours that the team would be escorted to Nörditser airport to leave the country early, protestors rushed to the airport, proclaiming they would not allow the team to leave and demanding Prince Andreas be tried as an accomplice to human rights abuses as a son of Saintland's ruling monarch.

Presently, the Saintland team remains in Windstrand according to the Ministry for the Interior.

Comment or read more at www.srrsondsteadworld.org

by **Jeru FC** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:34 pm

Princess Melody and James Master ...

Melody: Did you lot drink too much coffee today?
James: Irish coffee, you should try it
Melody: That explains a lot
James: Only some of it
Melody: I don't want to know what other crap you put in it
James: Probably not a good idea to tell you

Melody: I don't care, it seems to work
James: It sure does
Melody: Even if it probably isn't legal
James: It's legal ...
Melody: Anyway, good show today. About time you guys got your act together
James: No decaf tea here for us

Melody: Who drinks decaf tea ... other than greenie hippies
James: We going home now?
Melody: Tomorrow
James: That's early
Melody: Well, it costs money to have you lot away from home
James: I guess gone are good ole days

Melody: Don't blame me, they can't even be bothered getting a proper new coach
James: Do we have we get home in cattle class?
Melody: You'd be sitting on the wings if the accountants had their way
James: Sounds like fun
Melody: No time for shopping boys
James: We can't afford to go shopping

Melody: Oh yes
James: How come we don't see you during the flight?
Melody: I'm in first class, I'm a Princess not a pauper.
James: But a team is supposed be together
Melody: Well, I am not going in cattle class. I can afford to pay for my own seats.
James: I guess we're embarassing riff raff really

Melody: You lot sure are
James: You like bad boys
Melody: I suppose but not clowns like you lot
James: You're putting on weight
Melody: Yes you would if you're having another kid
James: You do hide it well

Melody: No, we just have small kids
James: I guess they are easier to eject
Melody: I guess they do
James: Mum said I was a real pain
Melody: And guess what, you still are
James: Mum says that too

by **Filopines** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:47 am

The Referendum | El Referéndum

By Johannes Dyer

A rise of Spanish speakers in Filopines has called a referendum to make Spanish an official language in Filopines.

Participation in Spanish classes at school have risen while Cebuano class participation has decreased. Apart from English and Filopinian, students are given the choice of three languages to learn two languages at school; they can choose from Spanish, Cebuano and German (except for Five Islands where you can also choose from Bahasa Sulaya). If the majority vote is YES, then Spanish will be made mandatory for every student at school.

Spanish has been in Filopines for almost a millenium. Filopines was discovered in 1024 by Spanish, French, English, Cebuano Filipinos and Germans. Since then, French has almost disappeared although slowly on the rise. German is extremely popular as well as Cebuano. English has since become the de facto lingua franca of the nation.

Seven years ago, a referendum was held to make Cebuano an official language. The 52.46% voted NO. Since then, Cebuano, despite still going strong in terms of participation and everyday speaking, use of Cebuano has decreased slightly and use of Spanish has increased.

Some people on Twooter have expressed their opinion on the referendum:

Jared Gonzalez@SpEdeGoNzAlEz
Why Spanish? Cebuano is much better! I can't believe Cebuano wasn't 'yessed' seven years ago. #NoToEspañol

Peter Ward@PJWardy
How could you say no to Spanish? Español es muy bien! It's so romantic. I'd love to hear more girls talk to me in Spanish. Don't tell my wife. #YesToEspañol

We just hope your wife isn't reading this, Peter. But there is a high chance there is. Because this is a very popular website.

If 'yessed' (this word should be in the dictionary), Spanish will be included on most signs, media as well as many other things.

Included on the ballot paper is another vote to recognize Cebuano, German and Bahasa Sulaya as official minority languages. If this is 'yessed' as Jared said, they will be officialy recognized by the government and the whole nation as minority languages.

In my opinion, I'm for Spanish. When I was at school I chose Spanish and Cebuano. But I much more adore Spanish. You may not agree with me but this paragraph is about my opinion.

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:16 am

Second!

Right when the qualification stage comes to its half-way point, Liventia ties the Sova Empire and leaves a gap for the Holy Empire and Ko-oren to overtake them. The match round, where the top three teams (we may now call them this because they are a few points ahead of the rest of the group, right?) all played an away match, also defines how teams generally do against each other, as every team played each other team once. So far, the 12-5-1 prediction does not even seem that far-fetched: we are on 6-2-1. If we do exactly the same, and only the draw turns into a draw, we can get to our 12-5-1 goal. Over the years, we have gotten an idea as to how you qualify. Actually, only one thing is important and that is not losing. Drawing is fine, and you'll need a few wins. But overall, losing against other teams that could qualifying is deadly, as you give them three points more than you can get. Drawing is fine, as said, and it is even okay to drop points against lower teams. See World Cup 64: six draws, even against teams we should have been able to beat, but still enough to finish second and even qualify for the main event. This cycle, the Greenblues took it even further: not losing (one loss, especially against a more powerful opponent, is okay in our book), hardly drawing, and winning two-thirds of your games. This might be the most stable qualifying run for Ko-oren ever.

The half-way point is important for another reason. In a group with one 9-0-0 team and one 0-0-9 team, the tenth game can already shut out one team from directly qualifying. There is only one team on 9-0-0 (Polar Islandstates), yet their last placed team has 0-2-7. 0-0-9 teams are a bit more numerous: Friday Freshman, Worszary, Magnustan, Penileanium. Rex Lucian looked like they belonged in this group, but they beat San Potato this match round: that should be a big blow to the morale of the other Atlantian Oceanian team, who wanted to break through one of these cycles (then again, we have had a few losses against extremely low ranked teams).

In two match rounds, the second leg of Ko-oren v. The Holy Empire is scheduled. In case we win, we might be able to take this one home and win the group, though there will be seven games to go at that point. But looking at the record we're setting right now, and with three teams doing very well and very consistently together, it might not be impossible. A draw would be good too, though Liventia might overtake us and get to first then (but Liventia v. Ko-oren is another match to be played...), and as said a loss will be probably the end of our aspirations.

Back to our game of this match round. A solid 1-4 win that might be the fuel for our arrogance/optimism. Giving up only three shots on goal, and the Greenblues getting 12 shots, of which 10 were on goal... Even a 63% possession. The team seems to be doing better each match, and now even the goals seem to be flying in one after another. A scoring national team is a good national team, even more so when the tendency is to defend with all our might and neglecting to score. Fenner was in form, scoring the first two goals before half time. Somewhere half way the first half, he finished off a free kick. Usually he takes those himself, but today was Tokachi's turn. After the ball stumbled through the wall, he just had to make sure the goalkeeper could not reach it. A minute before the whistle, he scored the second from another deflected shot. This time, he was the one shooting the ball in the first place, and it bounced off of the goalkeeper, leaving an open goal: 0-2. After the break, De La Fleur saved their honor in scoring the 1-2, and it even looked like the 2-2 was about to happen. Then, after 78 minutes, Shiribeshi was brought down in the box, and Dehenat stepped up to take it for him. In the commotion, a De La Fleur player was sent off, and Shiribeshi had to be substituted. Right after this was taken care of, Dehenat blasted it hard through the middle: 1-3. Tokachi seemed to take revenge for his earlier free kick when he skillfully placed the ball over the wall and into the goal after 81 minutes.

De La Fleur 1–4 Ko-oren (SoT 3-10, S 7-12, Poss 37-63, Pass 74%-81%)
@De La Fleur
13:00, 9C, clear. Att: ??? (1,500 Ko-orenite supporters)

Goals:
'56 ?? 1-2 - '23 Fenner 0-1, '44 Fenner 0-2, '80 Dehenat (PEN) 1-3, '81 Tokachi 1-4

Yellow:
'12 ??, '58 ??, '63 ?? - /
Red:
'78 ?? - /

Subs:
'61 Sanuki OUT
    Eregrent IN
'80 Shiribeshi OUT
    Terathu IN

Chapter 9: Age Writing 2

[redacted]

by **Mizuyuki** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:35 am

World Cup 65 : As It Stands

What are our qualification prospects?

By Naoki Subaru

Anyone watching Mizuyuki's recent matches must be flabbergasted, and rightly so.

For all their talent on the pitch, this young and as yet inexperienced team are somewhat inclined to be inconsistent. One only has to take a look at Mizuyuki's fixtures in the current qualifying phase of the World Cup and the results that they posted. For a quick summary, Mizuyuki actually managed to take 3 points off Maklohi Vai with a slim 1-0 win, who were ranked 57th, in the first match of qualifying before suffering a slump in form, slipping to a single goal defeat against Free South Califas followed by a 0-3 thumping by Barunia.

However, Mizuyuki quickly bounced back by securing a narrow 3-2 win in a hotly contested match against Mantwenic. That was followed by a resounding 4-2 win at German American States, which launched us up into 4th place in the table. Right in the very next round, we fell to an inauspicious defeat to unfancied The Glorious Commune, who picked up a valuable 3 points.

Rumour has it that the loss against TGC led to national team meanager Ishikawa Haruka reshuffling her entire first XI in favour of relatively untried players; they disappointed as we were held 2-2 at home by similarly unfancied TailsPrower, who had previously taken only 2 points from 6 games.

Travelling to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who were ranked 2nd in the world, Mizuyuki fans were mostly pessimistic; they evidently did not see how Mizuyuki could pick up a point from this encounter, let alone a win, with Ishikawa persisting with the new XI who she had decided to invest her faith in. The crowning moment of Mizuyuki's qualification arguably was this performance, as our youngsters flung the form book out the window and held firm against ASMV domination to secure a precious draw. That 1 point represents the only point ASMV have dropped, 9 games into a 18-match qualification phase.

Mizuyuki followed up their morale-boosting draw with ASMV with a convincing 4-2 win against Mapletish at Shirano International Stadium, which gave the team a timely boost up the table into a rather precarious 4th.

Why is our position precarious? It is because our lads cannot afford to slip up if they are to entrench themselves in the top half of the table as well as make a concerted, albeit unlikely, challenge for qualification. As it stands, Mizuyuki are only in front of our newly vanquished opponents, Mapletish, and TGC by virtue of our +1 goal difference. And even that is a razor-thin advantage, as our pursuers are both on +/-0 goal difference, and are thus in a position to take advantage if Mizuyuki do indeed drop points.

Now, on to the nitty gritty, a question that will not be resolved until the last day of the qualification phase - are we going to qualify for the World Cup finals?

Long story short, the answer is a definite no. Why? Simply because Mizuyuki seem to have perfected the art of inconsistency. I'd imagine that bookies have had to pay out very long odds on Mizuyuki's matches this cycle. As mentioned previously, Mizuyuki are able to hold their own against the very best when they are on form, but when they choke... let's just say that even an amateur football team picked off the streets of Shirano could have beaten them.

I will admit that the much-vaunted Generation of Miracles are truly imbued with potential - you don't catch Ishikawa's keen eye for spotting prospective talent unless you have the ability to play at the highest level. Indeed, most of the Mizuyuki team are plying their trade with top domestic teams such as Okinawa Breeze, Shimazu Pulse and Ryukyu Genesis. However, we must be realistic. As Ishikawa herself admitted in a televised interview with Mugen Chiheisen TV, it came as rather a shock that Mizuyuki has outperformed all but the best teams in our group. Amongst others, the teams we are currently leading include Mapletish and Free South Califas, who were initially tipped by a host of Mizuyuki bookies as a dark horse for qualification.

Back on topic. Even though we are currently in a position to mount a challenge for qualification, Mizuyuki's performances are quite simply too inconsistent, fluctuating between world class and mediocre to the extreme. So far, we have seen sides of both, with the draw against ASMV and the defeat of Maklohi Vai being prime examples of the former, and the loss to TGC as well as being held to a draw by TailsPrower being disappointments of the highest order. A top class national team with aspirations to become the best simply cannot be plagued by such problems as we are facing now; in other words, Ishikawa needs some more time to work her magic on the team and get them playing fluidly in her style, all while crushing the crippling inconsistency of the team decisively, before we have a realistic shot of getting to a World Cup finals.

Regardless, Mizuyuki's performance so far is to be commended. As Ishikawa herself said, the team had exceeded the initial expectations that the FA had laid out for them at the start of the cycle, which was a respectable finish in the Market Cup, a similar result in the Baptism of Fire, and of course, a top half position in the World Cup qualifiers. Frankly, these objectives are reasonable targets for a team debuting on the international stage as we are, and Ishikawa has guided them to more than satisfactory results in the first 2 tournaments and is well on course to achieving the third.

While it is my prediction that Mizuyuki will not make it to this cycle's World Cup finals in Pasarga and Saugeais, their performances have given me hope for the future. Maybe, in a cycle or two's time, Mizuyuki will finally live up to its potential and will be worthy of being named among the top nations in world football.

Glory will come to Mizuyuki in its own time. Until then, the team will slog away - useless maybe, thankless even - but the spirit and honour of Mizuyuki's national team dictate that they continue even if the situation seems hopeless. Mizuyuki will show the world what we are capable of, all in good time. I will be looking forward to that day, even though it may be a long time coming.

Prediction : Mizuyuki to finish just off their target of a top half finish - coming in 6th.

Naoki Subaru is a former Mizuyuki national team player who plied his trade in Mizuyuki's domestic league with superstars such as the current national team manager Ishikawa Haruka. He is widely regarded as a club legend of Okinawa Breeze, and is still held in high esteem among footballers, sports enthusiasts and the people of Mizuyuki alike after making close to 200 appearances for the national team during an illustrious career spanning almost 20 years. After his retirement, Naoki sought a vacancy in the media industry while simultaneously taking his coaching badges, and is currently employed by the nation's top broadcasters, Mugen Chiheisen TV, as a pundit and sports analyst. Naoki contributes a weekly column to the Mizuyuki Chronicle as well as regularly writing opinion pieces on football for yet another major newspaper, Sekai Shinbun.

by **Omarios** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:42 am

The National Team Gains Another Win!!
The Omarios National Team were able to gain a 3-4 win over Carmadin in the dying minutes of their playoff where middlefielder Sendev saved and guaranteed the match, the scoring started off in the 8th minute for Carmadin and ended in the 89th minute for Omarios, the team's coach Ramo Chevnovski said that he was impressed by the team's performance and would like them to do the same in future matches, the team is currently preparing for their next match.

Carmadin
8'
31'
79'

Omarios
20'
29'
43'
89'

by **Neo Lemmitania** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:54 am

Mom: Billy! What’s that you’re eating?

Little Billy: Oh, nothing. Just something I found on the floor.

Mom: Egad! You can’t just eat things you find on the floor, young man!

Little Billy: Aw, mom! But it’s crunchy!

Mom: Just take that out of your mouth and show me what it is. Oh, my! Those are the earrings I lost last week. Where did you find them?

Little Billy: Under the dust bunnies in the corner.

Mom: Billy, don’t you know that things lying around on the floor might be valuable?

Little Billy: I dunno. But these are yummy.

Mom: Oh, whatever shall I do? I can’t stop Little Billy from eating my earrings and other important things like safety pins and rubber hoses that might be lying around!

Voiceover: Don’t despair, Mrs. or Ms. Neo Lemmitania. While it may not be possible to stop children from eating things they find on the floor--

Mom: I know I can’t stop him!

Voiceover: You can at least provide some guidance about what he should be eating and what he should be throwing away.

Mom: But, how can I do that?

Voiceover: With the latest and greatest product from the Electric Lemming Corporation, the Foodcard(tm)!

Mom: FoodCard? Is that a card you can eat?

Voiceover: No, you can’t eat it, Mme Neo Lemmitania.

Mom: What do they call it a FoodCard for, then?

Voiceover: It’s called a FoodCard because it has pictures of all the acceptable food groups on it. All Little Billy has to do is compare what he’s found on the floor to the pictures on the FoodCard. If he doesn’t see what he’s found, he doesn’t eat it. It’s that simple!

Mom: Hmm, it sounds great, but I’d like to take a look at it and make sure these are medically-approved foods.

Voiceover: Sure, here you go.

Mom: Oh, everything on the card is made of lemming. And they’re all ELC products.

Voiceover: So you know they must be good.

Mom: Why, this is a great idea. Little Billy, take a look at this!

Little Billy: What is it, Mom?

Mom: Look at this card. Do you see earrings on it?

Little Billy: No, I see delicious LemmingDogs and LemmingShakes and LemmingBacon and LemmingChips and I’m getting hungry.

Mom: From now on, I don’t want you to eat anything that isn’t on this card. Say, Mr. voiceover, what are these blank space at the bottom of the card for?

Voiceover: I’m glad you asked me that, Frau Neo Lemmitania. Whenever ELC comes out with an exciting new edible product, they’ll rush an adhesive photo of it right to your door!

Mom: I don’t have a door. I blew up the house with a Homeradictor and we live in a crater now. Which turned out to not be so great since it rained last week.

Voiceover: In that case ELC will rush the adhesive photo straight to your waterlogged crater. You just affix the sticker to the card, and voila! An entire new food becomes available to Little Billy. As soon as you go out and buy some of it.

Mom: Gee, that’s wonderful!

Voiceover: Yes, all products from the Electric Lemming Corporation are wonderful. Start using your FoodCard today!

Gil: They got LemmingFishBalls on that FoodCard?

Shemp: LemmingFishBalls aren’t really food, so, no.

Gil: LemmingFishBalls are scrumptious!

Shemp: Well, they’re from ACME Lemming Corp, and you can’t eat the crap those guys make.

Gil: Wull, I love ‘em.

Shemp: Folks, this is Shemp’s Corner, the only pan-athletic talk show in Neo Lemmitania. I’m your host, Shemp Wooley, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, joined tonight by contractual demand by Gil Lemson. So, Lemson, Neo Lemmitania played Legalese in the World Cup qualifiers last night. You catch the game?

Gil: I did tune it in for a bit, yes.

Shemp: Did you? Were the Legalese players all naked ladies?

Gil: Unfortunately, they were jus’ regular players of the clothed male type, Shemp.

Shemp: Well, that’s very observant of you to have noticed.

Gil: Yes, me power of observation are unmatched. In this galaxy, anyroad.

Shemp: Right. Any thoughts on the game?

Gil: ‘ad a lot of kickin’ in it.

Shemp: You see the final score?

Gil: Not as such.

Shemp: Well, the Lemmings were overmatched again. They lost three to one, but that scoreline makes it sound closer than it actually was. Legalese jumped in front at the ten minute mark with a goal by Xavier Boyle and then added another one five minutes later by the midfielder Cyrus Dahman. The Lemmings’ defenders couldn’t keep up; it was the Starblaydia game all over again. Spud and Dubrowski in particular weren’t keeping up with their men. Boyle added another goal at thirty minutes, kicking it through a crowd. Mickelson, Chang, and Spud, all had a chance to get a foot on it and it went past all of them and then Mel Flanders just missed it. It was not a great moment for the Lemmings’ defense.

Gil: Sounds right excitin’, Shemp.

Shemp: Don’t say that in such a bored tone.

Gil: It’s jus’ a li’le ‘ard not to be bored when ‘avin’ a football game described at you.

Shemp: So the first half ended with the Lemmings down three-nil. For the second there were a bevy of substitutions. On the Lemmings side, Lemster pulled Spud, Dubrowski, and Flanders and put in McSheen, Molvo, and Oscar Snellem. Which was Snellem’s first appearance in the entire campaign. Seems like giving up eight goals in a match and a half has finally shaken Lemster’s confidence in Flanders.

Gil: ‘oo are we talkin’ about ‘ere?

Shemp: Mel Flanders. The Lemmings’ starting goalkeeper for every match so far.

Gil: Oh. So we ain’t talkin’ about Belgium, then?

Shemp: Who?

Gil: Belgium ain’t a ‘oo, its a where.

Shemp: Where?

Gil: Belgium.

Shemp: I have never heard of such a place. Stop making places up and contribute to the recap if you want to talk.

Gil: Fine, jus’ go a’ead with your business.

Shemp: So in the second half, the Legalese coach, Stan Thate, pulled a bunch of his starters in order to give some time to his reserves.

Gil: ‘ow ‘umiliatin’ for the Boys in Orange.

Shemp: Indeed. At least they didn’t score any more in the second half. Snellem showed his stuff with several good saves, including a deflection of a Ken Heath kick from three meters that just about took his head off.

Gil: Wull, now, too bad it didn’t. That would ‘ave been somethin’ worth seein’.

Shemp: That would be utterly horrifying, not that it’s possible.

Gil: Bet it’d go viral on MeTube.

Shemp: I bet it would. The Lemmings’ lone goal came on a penalty kick after what was probably an accidental handball by Liam Todd during one of the few forays we made into their end of the field. Bingson took the kick, and curved it right into the corner of the net.

Gil: Wull, that’s fine, then. So we won?

Shemp: I think I mentioned earlier that we lost. So that made the final score three-one in favor of Legalese. Now with the Cup qualifiers half over, Neo Lemmitania sits in third place, trailing Starblaydia by four points and Legalese by seven. Which is a big gap, and Krytenia and Zwangzug are just a point behind us. So, it’s looking like the two top seeds in the group are going to dominate, while there may be an interesting three-way race for third.

Gil: Yes, in’erestin’, that’s the word for it.

Shemp: Some people are interested in sports.

Gil: I’m innerested in sports! Jus’ not football.

Shemp: Okay, well, we’re going to break for another important message from our underwriter and then, since you’re behaving today, we’ll return and discuss the basketball draft.

Gil: Goody.

by **Mizuyuki** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:03 am

World Cup 65 : Mizuyuki snatch victory from the jaws of defeat

Samurais shock Mapletish with 3 late goals to secure nail-biting victory

By Matsumoto Yukiko

Mizuyuki appear to have made a complete recovery from their previous malaise in the qualification phase of the 65th World Cup. With this nervy yet convincing 4-2 win over a capable Mapletish outfit, the national team seems poised to complete their transformation phase under Ishikawa Haruka, the revolutionary maverick.

After dropping some established members of her first choice XI in favour of untested players in the matches against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and TailsPrower, Ishikawa seemed to have opened the doors for reconciliation - she restored heavyweights such as Miyazaki Misaki, Tsuchimikado Mikoto and Tsukuyomi Akira to the team while still giving opportunities to players who had impressed, including Honda Midori, Mugino Kotone, Okita Tsukiko and Okabe Kazuhiko.

Straight from the kickoff at Shirano International Stadium, Mizuyuki played the game on their terms while putting the Mapletish backline under pressure. The team showed no signs of fatigue or defeatism against a heavily fancied Mapletish side, with Nakano Kohaku in particular impressing with her composed defending to halt several Mapletish counterattacks in their stride. The pressure applied by Mizuyuki was relentless, and it was difficult to see how a harried Mapletish would be able to keep the ball out of their goal for long.

However, Mapletish managed to take the lead against the run of play, only 7 minutes after the match started. After a period of Mizuyuki dominance, Okita lost the ball carelessly when she tried to dribble past her fullback, only to end up losing the ball to Chong Mei Kei. Chong raced down the flank before crossing the ball low and hard. The ball was initially deflected away from goal by a desperate block from Nakano Rin, only to see the ball rebound off Okabe and fall kindly for the waiting Diego Alvarez, who made no mistake from close range.

Mizuyuki seemed to have the wind knocked out of their sails by Alvarez's intervention, and Mapletish gradually began to stamp their mark on proceedings as Mizuyuki gave up their early dominance. Alvarez came agonisingly close to adding to his personal tally when he received a slide rule pass from Di Natile 12 yards from goal, only for Nakano Kohaku to execute a well-timed sliding tackle right when he was about to pull the trigger.

At the other end, Mizuyuki were not having much luck. In the 24th minute, Miyazaki sliced open the Mapletish defence with a floated through ball, which was controlled by Tsuchimikado perfectly. Controversy billowed as Tsuchimikado tried to negotiate her way past the last man, Jaimie Lim, and get the better of her, only for Lim to hack her down from behind with a late challenge. The Mizuyuki players were united in their appeals for a penalty, but the referee waved their protests away as he deemed Lim to have played the ball. Replays indicate that he made an error in his judgement, and Mizuyuki had a legitimate penalty appeal.

Buoyed by their good luck, Mapletish continued to exert authority on proceedings, and this time around, it looked like the Mizuyuki goal was in severe danger of being breached. The blow fell just on the stroke of the half hour. After a Mizuyuki corner resulted in possession being wrested away from them, Jessie Leons orchestrated a rapid break which left Mizuyuki undermanned at the back, with 3 players against Mapletish's 5. With the majority of players stranded upfield, including the Nakano twins, Mizuyuki were left practically defenceless and could do nothing to stop Mapletish captain Alerio Junio, who rose highest to head home a Di Ai Jing ball home past a motionless Takanashi.

After a much-neede restart, Mizuyuki came out all guns blazing. It appeared that they had thrown caution to the wind since they had nothing else to lose from going all out except a few more concessions. Ishikawa's tactical change at half time worked to perfection, as the substitutes she introduced, the dropped Isshiki Mika and Akiyama Yoko, immediately asserted themselves on the pitch and made a Mizuyuki comeback seem all the more likely. Indeed, we broke our duck from a delicate interchange of passes from the duo that led Mapletish bewildered and befuddled. Picking up the ball near the touchline, Isshiki pinged a pass to Akiyama, who spotted Isshiki's off ball run and delivered a pinpoint, curving through ball that cruised past the Mapletish defence and left Isshiki one on one with Mapletish's 'keeper. As per her usual tendency, Isshiki feinted in front of the 'keeper, causing her to dive in entirely the wrong direction before gleefully rolling the ball into a gaping goal.

The floodgates opened after Isshiki's timely goal. The verve and confidence usually a trademark of Ishikawa's Mizuyuki immediately returned, and they reassumed control of the game as they did in the opening exchanges. Mizuyuki, trying to claw back a one-goal deficit, were evidently prepared to risk everything to claim at least a point from this encounter. Mapletish were slowly but surely pushed back into their own half, so much that possession in Mapletish's half by full time was Mizuyuki 48%, Mapletish 52%. Settling into a steady rhythm of passing, Mizuyuki were having the lion's share of the ball, but simply could not find a way past Mapletish's resolute defence.

It was not until late in the second half that Mizuyuki finally got the equaliser that they richly deserved. Again, Isshiki was the orchestrator, curling in an enticing cross from the flank that left Miyazaki with a simple tap in finish from 4 yards out. With 5 minutes to play, all out attack was the Mizuyuki strategy, with Mapletish becoming increasingly unable to keep up with Mizuyuki's trance-like passing and electric pace. Mizuyuki secured the 3 points in the 89th minute, as a flat footed Vivian failed to track Honda's darting run down the flank. Working the ball inside, Honda managed to get past a couple of defenders before expertly placing the ball past Avalon's despairing dive.

There was more to come though. In the dying embers of the game, Tsuchimikado, who had been outstandingly influential throughout the game, was tripped right outside the box by a backtracking Di Ai Jing. Tsuchimikado picked herself up and took the free kick herself, blasting a rocket of a shot right past the Mapletish wall. Avalon was able to get a touch to the ball, but was ultimately powerless to prevent the ball from nestling in goal.

by **Blouman Empire** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:43 am

ooc: I have now added my roster for my fellow group members to put names to players. For the hosts, keep the style modifier as what you are using now and if you could link it into the OP that would be great, thanks.
IC:

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Bloumany Maintain Second Spot

The Eagles continue their quest for a World Cup qualification with their 6th win for the campaign this time against Fristat and Marionopolis with a 2-0 win last night. Despite the team being seven points behind first place Polar Islandstates the team are determined to at least finish second to secure themselves a place in the playoffs. The win keeps the Bloumans three points ahead of Micheal VII whom also won round 9 match 2-1 against Mechelen.

With the team playing their best football in recent games they started this match full of confidence and continued their dominating ways with early pressure as Robert Schmitz had the first shot of the game with a curling ball from 20 yards out hitting the post, Baden Lakes followed up the rebound but went directly into the keepers hands. The Empire kept up the pressure taking a number of shots but none managed to find the back of the net. Mechelen fought back however, and worked the counter attack well that caught the Blouman defense off guard a number of times but with James Solomon on form he made the saves look like a walk in the park. While the Eagles kept up their attack both sides remained goalless at the end of the half.

The start of the second half saw Mechelen take the imitative and lead off early but this time the Blouman defense were ready for them and the impressive back line lead by Hamish Alpin ensured that they were unable to take any proper shots at goal. It wasn't until the 60th minute that saw the Eagles score the first goal of the game with 15 yard shot from Schmitz, after deftly moving past 3 defenders Schmitz placed the goal into the top left hand corner giving the visiting side the advantage. It only took 5 minutes for the Eagles to score their second goal with a through ball from Schmitz onto Liam Dellape who ran onto the ball striking it through the hands of Ad van de Laar whom looked dejected after his impressive first half performance. The rest of the game was uneventful as the Blouman side ran down the clock to finish the game with two goals and another three points on the ladder.

The win keeps the Eagles 3 points ahead of third place as the qualification campaign reaches the half way point and the team will be wanting to ensure they remain at least in second spot by the end of the second stage of qualifying. Manager Sir Nathan Kolson spoke to the media after last night's win on the matter "I am please where the team have managed to be at this stage in our campaign. As we prepare to face these teams again we will be looking to ensure that we play better against them, those games where we could only manage a draw we will be looking to ensure we beat them this time along". When asked about Polar Islandstates the only team the Eagles lost to in their first half Sir Nathan was less confident "It will be a hard match while we will as always go for the win it it the least likely, but my goal is to qualify not to just peat Polar and that is what we will aim for". Baden Lakes also spoke to the media praising the effort of the team so far and saying that he saw no reason why the team couldn't still be second by the end of qualification. The Eagles will be facing Fristat and Marionopolis during the next match and with a 3-0 win over last time the team will be wanting to replicate that result.

by **Darmen** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:39 am

At the halfway point, Darmen sits in first place

Darmen has gone 7-2-0 in its first nine games, scoring 25 goals along the way, and has put itself in excellent position to hang onto the number one sport in Group 2. Thatius, Turori and Bongo Johnson seem to be Darmen's biggest rivals this qualifying schedule, but with good results in the second half, Darmen may have the Head-2-Head tiebreakers under their belt.

Darmen started qualification off with a quality 2-1 win over Rushmori-rivals Carasatoga, before hosting Turori. The Darmen vs. Turori match ended in a 2-2 draw, and a Darmeni Ministry of Immigration condemnation of the Turori FA's attempts to smuggle in the Gibbons' family. The plan never would have worked anyways, unless a fantastic makeup job had taken place.

Following the possible international confrontation, three straight 4-2 victories for Darmen took place, against Thatius, Bongo Johnson and Stachland. Nekoni didn't fare much better, losing 3-1 to the All Greens. Lucus Magni was defeated 4-1, followed by a disapointing 1-1 draw between Darmen and Albaie. Darmen's third stringers were only saved by a late goal from Bryan Faulkner, escaping from an embarrising loss to a low ranked opponent. The final group stage match for Darmen was a one goal victory over Asasia.

Darmen will play a friendly against Nouvel Ecosse during the mid-qualifying break. A mixture of a first string and second string lineup will be taking the field, hungry for a win.

Darmen 2:1 Carasatoga
Starting XI: Osborne, Adan, Nguyen, Vue, Cormio, Beasley, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Gregio
Substitutes: Rydzik for Adan, Zakuani for Beasley, Ramirez for Cormio
Faulkner 47' | Gregio 90'+2

Darmen 2:2 Turori
Starting XI: Osborne, Adan, Nguyen, Vue, Cormio, Beasley, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Gregio
Substitutes: Goodwin for Nguyen, Zakuani for Beasley, McKay for Faulkner
Lee 19' | Faulkner 53'

Thatius 2:4 Darmen
Starting XI: Siesman, Adun, Nguyen, Vue, Cormio, Zakuani, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Autitore
Substitutes: Goodwin for Adun, Rydzik for Vue, Beasley for Salapu
Turko 10' | Lee 25' | Faulkner 56' | Cormio 87'

Darmen 4:2 Bongo Johnson
Starting XI: Osborne, Adun, Nguyen, Vue, Cormio, Beasley, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Gregio
Substitutes: Ramirez for Salapu, Goodwin for Faulkner, Autitore for Gregio
Faulkner 17' | Lee 35' | Lee 42' | Autitore 89'

Stachland 2:4 Darmen
Starting XI: Osborne, Rydzik, Nguyen, Goodwin, Cormio, Zakuani, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Gregio, Autitore
Substitutes: Vue for Nguyen, Ramirez for Lee, McKay for Gregio
Cormio 25' | Lee 44' | Lee 57' | Autitore 77'

Darmen 3:1 Nekoni
Starting XI: Siesman, Sikula, Findley, Garza, Son, Nystizor, Molesi, Guteirez, Spiridonis, Grevsthan, Dittman
Substitutes: Lee for Molesi, Faulkner for Grevsthan, Vue for Garza
Son 34' | Spiridonis 56' | Lee 82'

Lucus Magni 1:4 Darmen
Starting XI: Siesman, Sikula, Findley, Flemer, Son, Nystizor, Hammam, Gutierez, Spiridonis, Hooper, Dittman
Substitutes: Adun for Flemer, Cormio for Hammam, Gregio for Dittman
Son 17' | Nystizor 25' | Sikula 41' | Cormio 75'

Darmen 1:1 Albaie
Starting XI: Schreier, Sikula, Findley, Sinapati, Son, Nystizor, Savage, Gutierez, Spiridonis, Hooper, Pele
Substitutes: Cormio for Savage, Faulkner for Hooper, Autitore for Pele
Faulkner 87'

Asasia 0-1 Darmen
Starting XI: Osborne, Adun, Nguyen, Vue, Cormio, Beasley, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Gregio
Substitutes: Sinapati for Adun, Son for Salapu, Spiridonis for Turko
Lee 78'

Lineup for Friendly against Nouvel Ecosse
Starting XI: Siesman, Sikula, Findley, Sinapati, Cormio, Son, Lee, Turko, Salapu, Faulkner, Gregio
Substitutes: Schreier, Santos, Salim, Spiridonis, Studebaker, Autitore, Ambrosio

by **Horusland** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:01 am

Double Draw
Armed Bears 2 - 2 HorusLand
HorusLand 0 - 0 Leorudo.....

The past two days have shown us two draws, against the Armed Bears, ranked 51^st internationally, and Leorudo, ranked 79^th. These results have kept us ranked 5^th in our group.

The first match, against the Armed Bears, was played at the Royal Arena at Urrath-am-Barrah, the Urrsish capital. The first goals were given by the Armed Bears in the first half, but the HorusLandian Wolves managed to catch up, with two goals from Altaan Narek and Kaoru Hamasaki in the 67^th and 93^rd minutes.

Yesterday, we played against the Leorudian Roar A.F.C. No goals were scored, even if the Leorudian team had a longer possession of the ball. Jim Fenlon was notable during this game, with three attempts at scoring, all defended by HorusLandian goalkeeper Haru Izumi.

And so, we have reached the halfway point of the qualification series. HorusLand is ranked fifth, with thirteen points.

-  Group 1                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Taeshan                              9    7   2   0    17    2  +15    23
 2 Sargossa                             9    7   0   2    12    7   +5    21
 3 Super-Llamaland                      9    5   1   3    23   17   +6    16
 4 Kalusia                              9    4   3   2    10    7   +3    15
 5 Horusland                            9    3   4   2     9    9    0    13
 6 Armed Bears                          9    3   3   3    19   17   +2    12
 7 Leorudo                              9    2   5   2    12   13   −1    11
 8 Oralana                              9    2   1   6    10   17   −7     7
 9 The fief of Sir Kunne                9    2   1   6     7   15   −8     7
10 Friday Freshman                      9    0   0   9     8   23  −15     0

The story shall continue this evening. All HorusLandians hope for the best. Until then.

by **Saintland** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:25 am

Jedi8246 stuns Saintland 3 to 1

(SP) The Kingdom of Saintland blew a winnable match today against Jedi8246. 3 Sanctii players would be red-carded on the day and our Kingdom's National Soccer Team would still keep this match close into added time. However, Jedi8246 would score a clinching goal on a counter-attack and pull off a 3 goals to 1 victory that has absolutely stunned everybody in the Kingdom. "Today, we beat ourselves. If we had stayed more disciplined and avoided taking all those bad bookings, we probably would have escaped Jedi8246 with a victory. Instead, we are now 4 points off the pace in Group 16 and are actually a point behind where we were after 6 qualifying matches last time. I still believe that God will be with us, but right now we need to overcome this adversity. Nobody ever said that God wanted us to have an easy road to the World Cup, nor would we be called a favorite to advance by the foreign press, but that is exactly how we want it. When we had the element of surprise last time, we made statements against some of the best teams in international soccer. This time around, we can still qualify. This loss may be a serious setback, but we can overcome it and we can surpass Jedi8246. We can qualify and I still believe that is in God's Plan. I hope that God will send us to the big stage of the World Cup, where we can spread the message of His True Church to a wicked world." - Prince Andreas

Today's match started off with Jedi8246 immediately going on the attack. Lucas Aufidius had just returned from a red card and he quickly took the ball away from their striker. Aufidius booted a long pass in the vicinity of Prince Andreas and the Prince of Saintland headed the pass forward to Stephanus Vagionius. Vagionius was past the last defender and would quickly put the Kingdom of Saintland on the board with a rocket in the top left corner. The Sanctii led 1 goal to nil and the match was still in the 2nd minute.

Jedi8246 tried to answer back, but they were unable to get an equalizer. In the 8th minute, one of their midfielders attempted a long shot, which Alessandro Seius saved easily. A few minutes later, they attempted a shot from close range and Seius knocked it out for a corner. The corner would be headed away to safety by Georgius Catiotus. Prince Andreas received the clearance and began running forward on a counter-attack. He outran the handful of defenders that the Jedis had left back to defend the 8246 goal, but the Prince of Saintland's shot would be knocked out by their keeper for a corner. The Prince Andreas corner landed at the feet of Paulus Flaccus, but Flaccus hit his shot too hard and it went out for a goal kick. This match would remain bogged down in midfield for most of the first half.

Things began to change as the clock reached the 35th minute. In the 35th minute, a Jedi8246 midfielder crossed to one of their strikers inside the Sanctii box. Matthaeus Belaeus came forward to tackle the striker. However, Belaeus dove and ended up connecting with the striker's right leg. Jedi8246 would be forced to bring on a substitute for their injured striker. The referee awarded Belaeus a red card and awarded Jedi8246 with a penalty kick, which was taken 4 minutes later after the injured striker had left the field. The Jedi penalty taker went right and Alessandro Seius guessed left. The Sanctii keeper could only watch as the equalizer reached the back of the net. The match was tied at 1 goal apiece.

Although the Sanctii would get a scoring opportunity in the 43rd minute, the Stephanus Vagionius shot would hit the post. The Sanctii would prove unable to get that goal they now needed in order to retake the lead. However, Jedi8246 would be on the attack once again during added time. This time, Silvester Flaccus would give up a free kick after tackling a Jedi midfielder just outside of the box. The referee decided, for some reason, that the tackle was slightly too rough, awarding a yellow card to Flaccus. Jedi took the free kick and they sent it through an inexplicable crack in the Sanctii wall and past Alessandro Seius for their 2nd goal of the match. Jedi8246 took a 2 goals to 1 lead into halftime.

After halftime, the match would be bogged down in midfield for the better part of the 2nd half. Despite being down to 10 men, the Sanctii played well against a full-strength Jedi8246 side. However, they still found a way to beat themselves. At the hour mark, Silvester Flaccus dove to tackle a Jedi midfielder and it was a clean tackle. Video replays showed that Flaccus did not even make contact with the midfielder on that play. However, the Jedi player flopped, feigning an injury, and the referee bought the act. He awarded Flaccus a second yellow card, ejecting him from the match and giving Jedi8246 a free kick in the midfield circle. That would have been bad enough, but Paulus Flaccus, angered by his brother's ejection, went up to referee Heather Nellis of Cassadaigua and apparently argued with her. It is very unusual for Sanctii athletes to argue with an official and it seems that Paulus Flaccus must have said something that set off the official, as he was also shown a red card. "I know everybody back home wants to know what I told the referee. I'll tell you that. I told the referee that he is blind and that he is being deceived by Satanas. I told him that he is going to Infernus and that he deserves to burn there for red-carding my brother. I know that arguing with officials is wrong and I guess I probably deserved a red card, but that doesn't change the fact that the referee is a blind trollop from the Infernus-bound nation of Cassadaigua who doesn't know her place." - Paulus Flaccus

Although the Sanctii were forced to play with just 8 men on the pitch for the remainder of the match against a full-strength Jedi8246 side, they still played fairly well. Jedi had very few scoring opportunities. Prince Andreas elected not to make any substitutions, as he did not think his defense could hold off Jedi8246 if he made offensive substitutions. In added time, the Sanctii came forward, going on the attack against Jedi. Looking for an equalizer, Prince Andreas took a shot at goal and the Jedi keeper knocked it out for a corner. Prince Andreas took a corner, with everybody up offensively for the Sanctii, including Alessandro Seius. He sent his corner toward Georgius Catiotus, but a Jedi defender leaped above Catiotus and headed the ball forward. A Jedi midfielder ran forward to get to the ball and was ruled onside by the Dagan referee. He ran forward toward the Sanctii goal and put the ball in the empty net. Jedi8246 led 3 goals to 1 and there was no way that the Kingdom of Saintland would be able to salvage anything from this match.

With the 3 goals to 1 defeat, the Sanctii are now stuck in a 4-way tie for 5th place in Group 16. Karditan was upset by Quebec today, so the Sanctii remain tied with Karditan. Sondstead picked up a draw against Wight and Sangti picked up a win against hapless Narsora, so they are also tied with Karditan and the Kingdom of Saintland. Quebec is now in 4th place with 11 points after their upset over Karditan. With the draw, Wight falls into a 3-way tie for first with Jedi8246 and The Sovan Antithesis. All 3 of those nations have 12 points after 6 matches. Tomorrow, Quebec will host Jedi8246 and Karditan will visit Sondstead. Sangti host the Antithesis. This permits the Sanctii to regain some ground in the group, with a victory. Fortunately, the Kingdom of Saintland will be facing Narsora at Royal Stadium. Narsora has not picked up a single point so far in World Cup qualifying. Matthaeus Belaeus and the Flaccus brothers are suspended for the match due to their red cards. Prince Andreas has announced that the Sanctii will be using a 6-2-1-1 formation against Narsora. The Jucundius brothers will be starting, along with Andreas Inventius. This defensive-minded lineup is very surprising, given that Narsora is a notoriously inept nation that has scored just 2 goals in 6 matches, but it seems that Prince Andreas wants a low scoring victory tomorrow while the Sanctii prepare to face Quebec and Sondstead. Somebody is going to leave points on the table against Narsora at some point and Prince Andreas needs to make sure that the Sanctii are not the team that fails to take 6 points from Narsora. Tickets are still available for tomorrow's match against Narsora, but if you can't make it to Royal Stadium, be sure to tune into the live broadcast on Royal One, either on your TV set or on Sanctustube. There are still 12 World Cup qualifiers to go and the Sanctii need to do significantly better than their current 24 point pace if they wish to qualify for the World Cup.

Saintland 1, Narsora 0

(SP) A defensive-minded Sanctii side that was without 3 members of its starting lineup thanks to Cassadagan referee Heather Nellis still found a way to defeat hapless Narsora in today's World Cup qualifier. This was a relatively uneventful match marred by a lengthy disruption by the Vindicta Progressvm delinquents during halftime. The entire Kingdom will be very happy to have picked up a victory over Narsora, even if it was not a spectacular victory. "We ended our 3-day drought and won our match today, so that has to count for something. Narsora's team is one of the worst in the world, so I wasn't very worried about having to face them. However, they are a soccer team and it is still possible to leave points on the table no matter how terrible your opposition is. I just wanted 3 points today. Sure, we probably could have run up the score a little more and that might help us if we end up in a tie, but I'd rather just focus on winning matches. None of the other teams in our group, with the exception of Wight, are running up large point differentials anyway, so we don't need to be worried about that sort of thing. If we just win, we should have enough points to finish in the top 2 and I don't think even Audioslavia would want to face us in a home-and-away playoff, so I'm not all that worried. We just need to focus on getting results. If we just win all our matches from here on out, we'll probably win the group outright, without having to worry about tiebreakers. Personally, I'll take 3 points any way we can get them and, if it is God's Will, we will qualify for this World Cup." - Prince Andreas

Today's match opened with the usual ceremonies. A few Cantus Virginum members sang the national anthem. There was no Royal Air Force flyover, due to a last minute change of plans. The Royal Air Force had received a report that some foreigners were trying to smuggle supplies, likely weapons, to Feministvs Sanctvsterrra. The match soon got underway, as the Sanctii played a possession-oriented style, focusing on denying opportunities to Narsora.

The Sanctii had possession for most of the first half and, for the most part, did fairly little with it. They seemed to be waiting for the Narsorans to make a mistake. In the 23rd minute, that finally happened as one of the Narsoran defenders over-pursued Prince Andreas, allowing the Prince of Saintland to get through on goal. Prince Andreas took a shot that would have scored had it been accurate. However, he had curved the shot too much to the right and watched it go out on the right side for a goal kick. The Sanctii captain had blown a goal-scoring opportunity.

Narsora would get a goal-scoring opportunity around 15 minutes later. The Sanctii were attacking when Prince Andreas attempted to cross to Vagionius. A Narsoran defender intercepted the pass and pulled a Lucas Aufidius, booting the ball deep for a Narsoran striker. Narsora's striker advanced on goal and it took a spectacular Alessandro Seius save to prevent Narsora from scoring the first goal. However, Seius had no choice but to concede a corner and Narsora's corner would be headed away to safety by Marcus Jucundius. Petrus Mamilius got to the clearance first and the Sanctii began to run forward. Mamilius passed to Vagionius and Vagionius was soon through on goal on a counter-attack. Vagionius's shot would be knocked out for a Sanctii corner by Narsora's keeper.

Prince Andreas stepped up to take the corner, as the clock entered the 40th minute. The Prince of Saintland booted it into the Sanctii box. Andreas Inventius was the closest Sanctii player. The defensive-minded midfielder leaped and headed it into the post. It ricocheted off the post and right to Petrus Mamilius, who put it where the keeper couldn't reach it for a critical Sanctii goal. Petrus Mamilius had put the Sanctii in the lead in the 40th minute and that remained the score at halftime.

At halftime, Cantus Virginum was scheduled to perform. However, before they could come out of the tunnel to perform, a bunch of youths, who were clearly recognized as foreign residents based upon their manner of dress alone, jumped the barricade and entered the Royal Stadium field. Seizing Cantus Virginum's microphones, the delinquents, clearly members of Vindicta Progressvm, decided to engage in sedition and blasphemy as the Royal Stadium crowd booed loudly. A number of young ladies in the crowd were visibly crying, as they thought that they would not get their chance to see Cantus Virginum perform because of these punks.

Speaking in English, the Vindicta Progressvm ranted and raved for around an hour about how Sister Polus is allegedly maintaining an "abusive" environment at their school and also about how the Church of Saintland is "backward" and numerous other uses of the appeal to clock logical fallacy, but then again we don't expect a bunch of delinquents that believe in the erroneous "progressive" ideology of the World Assembly to use logic anyways. Apparently, they didn't pay attention in logic class because they are so fixated on the "evils" of Sister Polus's uniform policy. They are behaving like a bunch of spoiled brats and are only proving that King Paulus XV was right to re-appoint Sister Polus as the High Inquisitor at their school. They need to learn how to submit to rightful authority and the SP is confident that Sister Polus can put them back on the right path. If she cannot, there are always the Church of Saintland reform schools and the prisons to straighten them out.

When Prince Andreas was informed of the illegal disruption of this match by Vindicta Progressvm, the SP can confirm that he immediately picked up the locker room phone and called the St. Petrus Police. Unfortunately, the entire police force had been dispatched to the Cathedral after receiving an anonymous report that Feministvs Sanctvsterra would be attempting to desecrate the Cathedral again today. The Royal Army was also unavailable, due to training drills taking place at an undisclosed location and previous reports that somebody was trying to smuggle weapons to Feministvs Sanctvsterra. The SP has discovered that a St. Petrus Police officer discovered what was going on at Royal Stadium when he was heading to use the Cathedral's restroom. He walked past a television set where the Patriarch and a few priests based in St. Petrus were watching the match on television and noticed the disruption. Several police officers left the Cathedral and set out on foot for Royal Stadium. They had left their police automobiles parked at the station, setting out on foot to the Cathedral when they received the report earlier.

By the time the St. Petrus Police reached Royal Stadium, the members of Vindicta Progressvm had already fled the vicinity of the Stadium. Cantus Virginum came out to perform their scheduled halftime show. This held up the match even longer, but the crowd showed their appreciation to Cantus Virginum, giving them one of the loudest rounds of applause that the group has ever received. Once again, attempts by a domestic terrorist group to disrupt a Cantus Virginum halftime show had backfired. Will they ever learn? Probably not, since these are domestic terrorists we are talking about.

After halftime, the Sanctii did not seem to be interested in scoring any additional goals. Instead, they played a possession-heavy style, just trying to cling to their 1 goal to nil advantage. Alessandro Seius made a few saves. The Sanctii would hold on for a 1 goal to nil victory. They had defeated Narsora, handing the minnows their 7th consecutive defeat to start World Cup 65 qualifying. The Sanctii had won a match for the first time since the 3rd matchday of qualifying.

Following the victory, the Sanctii remain tied for 5th place in Group 16. However, Karditan played Sondstead to a 1-1 draw, so both of those nations are now tied for 7th. The Sanctii are now tied with Sangti, who defeated The Sovan Antithesis. Wight picked up a victory and now lead Group 16 outright with 15 points. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec now holds sole possession of 2nd place with a 4 goals to 2 defeat of Jedi8246. Jedi8246 and the Antithesis are tied for 3rd with 12 points. Tomorrow will be another critical day of qualifying for the Sanctii, as they will host Quebec at Royal Stadium. Wight will host Sangti and Jedi8246 will host Sondstead, but the most critical match tomorrow is the one between the Kingdom of Saintland and the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. The Sanctii are in a must-win situation against Quebec. A victory puts both sides level on points after 8 matchdays. A defeat would give Quebec a prohibitive 6 point advantage over the Kingdom of Saintland. Tomorrow, the Sanctii get Matthaeus Belaeus and both Paulus and Silvester Flaccus back and reports indicate that Prince Andreas intends to go back to the normal lineup. As the mid-point of World Cup 65 qualifying approaches, the Sanctii will want to pick up 2 more victories in their next 2 matches to shore up their position for the second half. A strong finish will put the Kingdom of Saintland in position to make a run. A poor performance in these next 2 matches could jeopardize our Kingdom's chances of qualifying for the World Cup. We can't afford to fall significantly behind in the first half. Last time, we put up 22 points in the second half of qualifying and it still wasn't enough to overcome Audioslavia and Kinitaria for that critical spot in the top 2. This time has to be different. Tomorrow's match at Royal Stadium sold out just before this article was published, so be sure to tune in on Royal One if you don't have a ticket to the match. In a tight qualifying campaign like this one, every single match is critical and this one will be more important than most to our Kingdom's qualification chances.

OOC: I'm trying to get up to date on match reports during the mid-qualifying break, so I'll hopefully have match reports for the Quebec and Sondstead matches up before the MD10 cutoff tomorrow. The match report against Narsora is ICly written prior to the previous SP article that referenced that match a few days ago. Polus's promotion was not yet known at that time.

by **Cassadaigua** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:09 am

Spacebook Contest!
Sister Polus Reaction Videos!

Sister Polus of Saintland may be a highly respected women in her country because of the way she tries to get all women to bow down and be subservient to almighty male, using her warped interpretations of the Word of God. However, in Cassadaigua, she is viewed as a comical figure (the subject of many punch lines), with her rants being seen as nothing more then what a corrupt dictator would put out in the news in order to control the way people think. Spacebook recently held a competition offering money to the top five reaction videos to Polus’ rants. Here are the top 5.

5th Place, Kristen Passmore, Brattleboro

“I am Sister Polus and I have a confession. I am really a man. How else would I have so much power?”

4th Place, Danielle Cregan, Rutland

“Hello I am Sister Polus and today I come to you to announce that I have been promoted to Goddess. That’s right, no longer am I a mere Headmistress, but I am a Goddess. There is no other woman higher then me, other then Mary, and even that might be debatable now. I am here to talk to you today about the woman’s role in society. Since no longer is my message limited to a high school, I have to make sure all women are aware that you are to do what a man tells you, at all times. This means everything conceivable. You must do it, all because of what Eve did in the Garden of Eden. You must never talk about that evil nation of Cassadaigua, or any other nation that treats women like people. Secondly, you must listen to Cantus Virginum music 25 hours a day. That’s right, since you are a woman, you have an extra hour per day in which you must be subservient to the men in your life. Remember too, that if your young daughters do not worship every word that comes out of Cantus Virginum they will be executed. Just look at we did to Feministvs Sanctvsterra. Any Saintland young lady not seeing Cantus Virginum as their idols will be executed.”

3rd Place, Ashley Underwood, Concord Heights

“Teenagers are evil, especially teenage girls. I have seen so many of this kids tempt our young brave males evil apples, trying to get them to do things which are extremely inappropriate. Just this morning, this young girl did not have her top button on her shirt buttoned. This revealed a slight amount of skin and while this was happening, she was talking to a boy. I then witnessed a most deplorable act. She deliberately unbuttoned the second button. I don’t care if it was hot, this action is the equivalent of the offering of an apple in the Garden of Eden. Fortunately, one of the great teachers at Progress High School acted immediately to pull the boy away. He was lectured and sentenced to have to listen to Cantus Virginum for six hours, non stop. As for the girl, it only stands to reason that she has been corrupted by Vindicta Progressvm. She will be handled accordingly. I fear greatly about the impact of foreign nations on our youth. We must be vigilant in making sure our nation remains pure.”

2nd Place, Courtney Bowland, Starksville

“I’m Sister Polus and I woke up this morning in a really cranky mood. The danish in which one of my slave students was forced to bake for me was slightly too hard, and I don’t like things that are hard. Nor, do I like apples, so her decision to make it an apple danish had to be some kind of deliberate joke or act of rebellion against not just me but against the Lord. After further lecturing this lost girl about the collar on her school uniform being slightly wrinkled, it was imperative for me to let her to know the evil of apples. I hate apples, they represent all that is evil in the world going back to the days of Eve and Adam. That Eve was tempted to take the apple, and this girl’s giving in to giving me an apple danish this morning had to be the same kind of thing. Oh and I hate New Montreal States. That they won World Baseball Classic 26 in Cassadaigua was obviously some kind of conspiracy.”

1st Place, Michelle Powers, Winchester

“I don’t understand. Why is soccer team losing! Are the power and length of my speeches not enough to motivate them to victory? It’s deplorable. It couldn’t even lead our basketball team to a win over the evil witches of Cassadaigua. The soccer team is in third place, below Wight and a nation that has numbers in their name. And it’s the number 8246. 8246 is a sign, you see. The last number, of course, is a 6. You take the first two numbers, and subtract them, and you get a 6. You take the middle two numbers, and add them you get another 6. We are wasting too much time worrying these evil women of Feministvs Sanctvsterra or the new group of young kids, and we are allowing the most sinful nation in the world, the one that has a 666 in their nation name to perform better then us on the soccer field. The demons can’t be better then us. But I cannot do this alone. I am only a mere Headmistress, I must become more powerful then the mighty Margaret. Margaret if your listening, do not allow your feeble random ways to permit a team like Jedi666 into the World Cup. I will beat you, Margaret! I will endlessly rant over and over and over to diminish the potential of your random ways to overpower me! We will not be denied!”

by **Sandwich Territories** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:57 am

Supposedly, everything was going alright for Nicholas Banks. His father was doing extremely well in the World Cup 65, and he was on summer vacation, which meant that he could waste the days away doing whatever he wanted to do. Usually, this was watching the World Cup 65. He enjoyed watching any match that was on, but his favorites were the ones that had his father in it. His mother, Lisa, would watch with him. The family wasn't rich, but they definitely had enough to get by. However, the last match between Sandwich and Beldonia brought something that nobody wanted to hear.....much less the Banks family.

"And here comes Banks and.......a terrible challenge from behind! Banks is down on the ground, and anything less than a red card would be asinine......and there it is, the defender is sent off.....but Banks is still on the ground....and I think he might be carried off by a strecher...."

"Mommy, Daddy is on the ground....and he isn't getting up!"

"Oh dear......what happened?"

"I dunno.....he is being carried off by a strecher."

"........oh lord....."

The family had to wait in fear for today to come, where the news was told. Banks had acquired a strained ankle, and Bellerd was considering sending him home.

"If I do send Banks home, I plan for Ferdinand to start. Either way, we give our best wishes to Banks and his family, and hope that he makes a speedy recovery."

Reports say that Banks is to be out for only 1 match, however, Max Bellerd might sit him out for a second match if needed.

by **West Angola** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:43 pm

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

WORLD CUP LXV: MID-QUAL REVIEW: PART ONE

With qualifying for the sixty-fifth World Cup halfway over, the Chronicle takes a look at West Angola’s campaign to return to the World Cup, both how their matches have gone in this first leg, and how the rest of Group Eleven is shaping up for the conclusion of the opening stage of the World Cup. Part one will cover West Angola’s matches so far in this World Cup, putting a fresh spin on the reports you read previously when these matches were going on.

Match Review:

Matchday One: West Angola 2–0 Joshulia
West Angola opened its World Cup 65 qualifying campaign with a crucial home win over Joshulia. Doubts had been raised as to the wisdom of Coach Phillip Garren’s decision to return an identical lineup from the previous World Cup, even though some players have aged into their mid-to-late thirties, and the win was a resounding affirmation of Garren’s decision. Luke Parrish and Peter Wilson worked extremely well together, with Parrish scoring a goal (the other being Jan Pawel’s lone score thus far) and showing off what some believe the be the pinnacle of their evolution into a tandem that evokes memories of the Parrish/Warren pairing of World Cups 58-61, and the Larssen/McDaniels scoring machine that characterized the team in Cups 62 and 63. The win allowed West Angola to occupy the top half of the group in the early stages.

Matchday Two: Osarius 1–0 West Angola
A disappointing follow-up to their opening victory, West Angola suffered its first defeat of qualifying on the road. Facing the third-ranked team across all realities, West Angola hung close into the closing minutes, but hopes of an upset draw were dashed when striker Jerome Sullivan netted a shot into the upper corner of the net, and Gareth Mason blocked Luke Parrish’s last-chance goal. In the aftermath of the loss, Coach Garren expressed regret, but reminded those listening that “Osarius is one of the best teams in football for a reason, and a one-goal difference is something to be proud of.” The defeat moved West Angola into a tie for sixth with Kericia.

Matchday Three: West Angola 0–0 Beldonia
A second consecutive result below expectations put Coach Garren back in hot water with the Sporting Ministry. A memo leaked to this publication detailed plans to interview replacements for both Garren and his assistant, Isaac Warren, sparking spontaneous gatherings outside both the football stadium and the Sporting Ministry, consisting of those supporting Garren and those opposing him. Police were called in as a precaution, but neither area turned violent and only a few arrests were made. The animosity between Garren and the Sporting Ministry is well-publicized, and several analysts have theorized that Garren will be fired as soon as he fails to match previous successes in a notable way. The draw was coupled with one for Kericia, allowing West Angola to maintain the tie for sixth place.

Matchday Four: West Angola 1–0 Astograth
A result which many believed saved both the team and Coach Garren, West Angola’s narrow 1-0 victory over Astograth injected them back into the group race, and formed the beginning of a four-match winning streak over the Burgundy-and-White’s closest competition for the playoff spot in the group. Peter Wilson finally got on the board with the match’s lone goal in what was, up until the match against Kericia, a very low-scoring campaign for West Angola. The crucial victory allowed Garren to confidently win his ‘staring contest’ with the Sporting Ministry, and secure his job for at least a little longer. With the win, West Angola moved into a tie for fourth, still with Kericia, who was turning into a familiar face next to West Angola in the ranking tables.

Matchday Five: Filopines 1–2 West Angola
West Angola’s second consecutive victory featured only the second time Blake Green had been scored on in the tournament. Filopines took an early lead, one they still held at halftime, but goals by Parrish and Wilson in the 48th and 51st minutes, respectively, quickly put West Angola in the driver’s seat following the break. West Angola succeeded in banishing the ghosts of Osarius, managing to respond well while down, whereas against Osarius they had fallen apart after Parrish’s shot and nearly allowed a second goal. The defense, which has seen a reduced importance in this Cup and the last, looked very solid, holding Filopines with only a single shot following the goal, and this was an end-of-stoppage midfield lob that was easily saved by Green. With the win, West Angola moved into a tie for third with Filopines, with Kericia hanging on to make it a three-way tie.

Matchday Six: West Angola 2–1 Sandwich Territories
West Angola’s third win in a row touched off a wild celebration in Namibe. Luke Parrish nailed a late goal in stoppage time to give his team the win, and West Angola finally moved past Kericia in the standings, as they suffered a 6-2 thrashing at the hands of Osarius. West Angola’s win put them in second place, the slot where their seed placed them at the start, and allowed Coach Garren the freedom to confidently declare that West Angola “will be well-entrenched in second place by the time this qualifying leg is over.” Holding second by a single point, however, meant that West Angola would need to beat Kericia convincingly in its next match.

Matchday Seven: Kericia 0–4 West Angola
West Angola’s biggest win yet, the 4-0 road win over Kericia was the final lid in the coffin for the Sporting Ministry, which cleaned house of the faction which had called for Garren to be fired. Parrish and Wilson each scored two goals, keeping them at even straits (5) for the tournament so far, keeping the perennial friendly contest between the two interesting as the opening leg neared its conclusion. With their fourth win in a row, West Angola maintained its one-point lead on third-place Sandwich Territories, and held on just three points back of group leader Osarius going into the final two matches, which this publication predicted would be “easy wins.”

Matchday Eight: West Angola 1–1 Luzvimindia
West Angola suffered a serious setback in the penultimate match of qualifying’s opening leg, drawing 1-1 against Luzvimindia in what Coach Garren blamed on “overconfident sloppiness.” Luke Parrish scored an early goal, and fans of the team settled in to watch what was supposed to be a rout. Unfortunately, West Angola failed to score again, and in fact found themselves utterly ineffective against Luzvimindia’s defense, managing only two shots for the remainder of the match. It looked as though the team would escape with a 1-0 victory, at least, until Blake Green tripped on a bad spot of ground and allowed the equalizer to roll in near the end of play, prompting boos from West Angolan fans that lasted for thirty minutes after the match ended. The draw dropped West Angola to third place in the group, one point behind Sandwich Islands.

Matchday Nine: Carizzal 0–1 West Angola
West Angola closed out the opening leg of qualifying with a narrow win over Carizzal. Peter Wilson scored the lone goal of the match to equalize the contest at 6 and send the team into the mid-qualifying break with a one-point gap to close before the end. Sandwich Territories currently sits in second place, two points back of Osarius, the net result being that West Angola can vault from third to first in one match, and that Group Eleven may be extremely tightly contested in the closing stages of qualifying. Moving forward, West Angola will need to avoid being upset drawn, and secure wins over Filopines, Astograth, and Sandwich Territories, who will be hungry for revenge.

by **Boring Paradise** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:51 pm

Group 18

Valladares (#9)
Qazox (#43)
Boring Paradise (#47)
Estope (#94)
Alexanderburn (#134)
Felix (#199)
St Lucoa (#231)
Kaznan (#293)
Borealia (#293)
Schalafania (#UR)

MD1: 2-0 Kaznan (H)
MD2: 3-3 Borealia (A)
MD3: 0-2 Valladares (H)
MD4: 1-4 Qazox (A)
MD5: 2-1 Schalafania (H)
MD6: 2-1 Estope (H)
MD7: 1-1 Alexanderburn (A)
MD8: 1-1 Felix (H)
MD9: 4-2 St Lucoa (A)
BYE
MD10: Kaznan (A)
MD11: Borealia (H)
MD12: Valladares (A)
MD13: Qazox (H)
MD14: Schalafania (A)
MD15: Estope (A)
MD16: Alexanderburn (H)
MD17: Felix (A)
MD18: St Lucoa (H)

Win or Expected Win
Draw or Expected Draw
Lose or Expected Lose

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Ghostly Story|Chapter 4

Back at home, the Paradisians were eager for a win against Felix to get the chance to come back into the game. The streets were filled with big fans hurrying to The Paradisia North Park for the match.

Felix took the kick-off at 2030 hours, the players on both teams were aggressive but the game itself was aggressive. In the first half ended 0-0. Then the second half, Shooby Armours was about to score but then, Felix made a counter attack. Then in the 48th minute Aloysius Blau score with Sebastian Krister assisting the goal. Haider Williams, not giving up scored a goal 54th minute to equalize and then the match ended in a draw.

-  Group 18                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Qazox                                9    6   2   1    16    8   +8    20 
 2 Estope                               9    5   2   2    18   10   +8    17
 3 Valladares                           9    5   1   3    14    8   +6    16
 4 Felix                                9    4   3   2    19   12   +7    15
 5 St Lucoa                             9    4   3   2    10    7   +3    15
 6 Boring Paradise                      9    4   3   2    16   15   +1    15
 7 Alexanderburn                        9    4   2   3    15   10   +5    14
 8 Kaznan                               9    1   3   5     6   19  -13     6
 9 Borealia                             9    1   1   6    10   19   −9     4
10 Schalafania                          9    0   2   7     5   20  −15     2

by **Zwangzug** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:55 pm

The Spenson Star

The Spenson Star begins its "Symbols of Countries Competing, Erratically Referenced" series which, as the name implies, may appear on and off whenever we feel like it.

Today, we take a look at an obscure polity known only as "The IOM Sports Association," whose motto inquires “What are we without sport?” In their case, evidently not much. They made little protest when their home qualifier with Aels was moved to Ad’ihan, turning it into much more of an Aelsh home match. But what about team Zwangzug? I tried to ask some of them what they would be without sport. The answers were...well, some were more straightforward than others.

Antje Kurzmann-Tremme: I might have moved out of Trink, tried to find--I don't even care, some job elsewhere. Would I have been successful? I don't know. Although that begs the question, of why things are different in Zwangzug versus elsewhere. Because...I'm doing fine, you know, I have plenty to live on, but I know there are a lot of fans out there who would just love to be in my cleats, and a whole league full of players who want to try. So, with all this demand, how is it that elsewhere people can earn so high salaries for playing a game, but much more painful jobs have a small fraction of that, when no one really enjoys it? I don't get it.

Yuuki Nakano: I, on the other hand, would still be in Trink. Ask me in towards the end of qualifiers, what I think about that, I'll have more to say by then.

Xolani McKiegna (today's goalscorer): Okay, without sport, I would...not be in 102d. I have no idea where my brother would be, actually, because it was his wife's sailing thing sort of determines where they have to practice. I also have no idea what Shorn would look like, without the other kind of football to bring people together and given them places to be violent. I'm not sure I would want to live there either.

Shula Bachchan-Laum: On a broader scale, what would Zwangzug actually be doing in the world? Nothing very exciting, I'm sure. I'm curious as to how much Sharag would have become the "gateway to the southwest" with the museums and stuff, if the Ariddians hadn't been in the business of coming up with ideas and just generally being one example of how to make left-wing democracy work. Guariday, of course, would still be stuck up with their heads in the trees.

Patricia Eliot: On behalf of what was, for a long time, the largest city without a sports team, can I just say--it wouldn't be good. Canbix was full of miserable people after so many of the businesses closed down, and they were too bitter to really take to baseball or anything like that. But to see what football has done--I'm not pretending it's revitalized the city or turned it around or anything like that, but people are hungry for competition, and in one, sort of meaningless form, they have it now.

Marlene Jamieson: Okay, you need someone to not say "if it weren't for sport I would be a bureaucrat." So I'll say it. If it weren't for sport I would definitely have tried to get away from the whole immense public sector thing, which realistically means working in the publishing industry somehow, probably? I'm not a techy person. So yeah, maybe something in arts...book cover design, or else more capital-side with the trees and sustainability and that. Now the ironic thing is, instead of working for the bureaucracy, all I do is represent the nation on the pitch, hahaha, right? I think there has to be an element of show-biz to it. You're there for the fans. And if there aren't any fans, well, you're there because you're kind of crazy. I'd rather be there for the fans.

Rudolf Sternberg: If it weren't for sport I'd be that one guy you know from Clunvers. And I would explain to everyone I meet, over and over again, how, yes, the city sort of got destroyed by a meteor, yes, I lost a lot of people, but I don't dwell on, I can't let myself, nobody in their right mind would. The irony is that I have to have the conversation with a lot more foreigners these days--people from Zwangzug get it--but there are enough moronic tourists coming in to look at, you know, the ruins of airplanes and stuff, that it would be miserable. Again and again. I'm so glad I'd gotten into football, you know. Before all that.

Martina Ruan: Exactly how broadly are we defining "sport"?

...Sorry, had to be done.

by **Nouvel Ecosse** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:13 pm

NOUVEL ECOSSE 2 1 ITURRIBUTA
Sanchez Reno 79' Curt LaFleur 87'

After subsequent defeats to two of the strongest teams in their group, The Holy Empire and Ko-oren, Nouvel Ecosse put their qualification campaign back on track with victory over the nation of Iturributa. Two late goals, after trailing 1-0 for most of the match, was enough to suffice for the Rampant Walrus, and they now know that victory in their next game could well catapult them into fourth.

Sanchez Reno and Curt LaFleur were the heroes on the day as Nouvel Ecosse, ranked only 231st in the world, overcame the threat of the seventieth ranked team Iturributa in what was a lively game at the National stadium in Edinburgh. Although there was some hope in the air before the game, many pundits predicted an easy Iturributa win, and the betting agency AlhambraBetting365.com had Nouvel Ecosse at 3-1 to win, compared to 2-3 for Iturributa. They will have to pay out a hell of a lot tonight.

It was the away side who were dominant in the first half hour, bombarding the defense of Nouvel Ecosse who were lucky to not concede in that period. Javier Zanetti twice cleared the ball of his own line, whilst Frazer pulled out all the stops to prevent the attack from scoring. However, the siege was bound to break through, and it was inevitable that on the thirty-third minute the Iturributan centre-forward broke through the defense and was hauled down by Pierre Van Miller, who was subsequently sent-off. The penalty was then easily converted to give the away side the lead.

But then the resurgence began, lead straight from the back by captain Javier Zanetti, who pepped the team back up into the form that they have occasionally shown in glimpses throughout qualification. Jorge Sanchez showed experience well beyond his seventeen years when he played some superb passes in midfield, whilst Reno at centre-forward was extremely unlucky with a chance in the seconds before half-time, seeing a clear header take a slight deflection and rebound of the outside of the post, crashing away as the half-time whistle blew.

Although there was some sort of brief tension in the tunnel following some heated tackles in the first half, there was no real drama as reported in some of the morning papers.

Nouvel Ecosse were again on top in the second half, McFadden missing a free-kick by mere inches. But it wasn't until the seventy-ninth minute when Sanchez Reno tumbled the ball in from a scrappy corner. After the ball came in from a cross from McFadden, Dan Franklin took it on the volley, but this was rebounded by the Iturributan defender, falling to the feet of Sanchez Reno who fortunately miss-hit it, sending it the opposite way from the goalkeeper and into the back of the net.

Curt LaFleur doubled the victory in the 87th minute with a perfect strike from twenty-yards, a shot which has become trademark of LaFleur. The Rampant Walrus fans went crazy, unbelieving of the result, reigniting hopes in the national team.

Its still possible to qualify. Keep the belief.

by **Saintland** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 4:32 pm

Saintland 2, Quebec 1

(SP) The Kingdom of Saintland picked up a victory against the Royal Kingdom of Quebec today to move even in the Group 16 standings with the Quebecois team. As the mid-point of World Cup 65 qualifying approaches, the Sanctii are moving into position to make a run down the stretch. This was another competitive match, which was decided in the final minutes by a Prince Andreas goal. "Today, we beat a talented, but inexperienced team from Quebec. According to their roster, they only have 2 players older than 23 and most of their players would not have even graduated high school yet in the Kingdom. It is surprising that these youths are putting up such a strong run in qualifying so far. It feels unusual to be the veteran side, but that is the role we play when we're competing against the majority of our group this time around. We put our trust in God because we know that we are carrying out God's Will on the pitch. Tomorrow, Sondstead will discover exactly that when we pick up 3 more points and move closer toward our goal of qualifying for the World Cup. With the news that one of the bids from the upcoming Cup of Harmony is by Cassadaigua and the Equestrian States, I am now even more determined to lead our Kingdom to the promised land. At least the World Cup finals aren't being hosted by 2 of our biggest rivals, but in the unlikely event that we end up in the Cup of Harmony, at least there is another bid. We don't want to go to the Equestrian States and we certainly don't want to go to Cassadaigua." - Prince Andreas

Prior to the start of today's match, Cantus Virginum sang the national anthem and the Royal Air Force flew over Royal Stadium. Then, a Royal Army battalion marched around the pitch before eventually going back into the tunnel. This was intended as a message to any Feministvs Sanctvsterra members or Vindicta Progressvm members that might have been thinking about disrupting this match. From now on, there will be increased security at Royal Stadium to prevent any more disruptions like the one that happened during the match against Narsora. The King's Government simply will not permit such antics to ever happen at another World Cup qualifying match in the Kingdom. How can we convince the nations of the world to bring the World Cup finals to Saintland and give us the corresponding automatic spot in the World Cup if we can't keep our own stadiums secure?

The match eventually got underway as both sides had early scoring opportunities. The Quebecois, playing an usual 4-2-4 formation, were playing very aggressively. Quebec had the first scoring chance as Rene Bourassa set up a Zachary Fontin chance and the 15-year-old striker put his shot just off target to the left of the net. Alessandro Seius booted the goal kick deep. Petrus Mamilius headed it to Silvester Flaccus. Flaccus passed to Ioannes Poenius. Poenius ran down the sideline and crossed to Stephanus Vagionius and the Sanctii striker took a shot at the goal. The Vagionius shot was saved by Adrien Marchand.

For a while, the match was bogged down in midfield, but things began to change in the 20th minute. Quebec's Thunderbolt Han would cross ahead to Hong Chun Joo and Joo attempted a shot. Georgius Catiotus put his leg in there to deflect it, but it went out for a corner. Gary Loewen-Jang took the penalty for Quebec and sent it in the direction of Riley Johnson. The 23-year-old striker headed it just past the arms of Alessandro Seius and into the net for the first goal of the match. Quebec had struck first.

The Sanctii answered in the 27th minute when Georgius Catiotus tackled the ball away from Zachary Fortin and passed it to Lucas Aufidius. Aufidius booted it long in the direction of Stephanus Vagionius. Vagionius got ahold of the ball, ran forward and took a shot while he was one-on-one with Adrien Marchand. Marchand would save the shot, but he had no choice but to put it out for a corner. Prince Andreas booted the corner at the feet of Paulus Flaccus in the far back side of the box. Flaccus took a shot in heavy traffic and somehow his rocket went through the legs of a number of Quebecois defenders, including the keeper Marchand and into the back of the net. The Sanctii celebrated as they had just equalized the match.

Toward the end of the first half, both teams had chances to break the deadlock. A Stephanus Vagionius shot in the 33rd minute would hit the post. Thunderbolt Han's shot in the 37th would be spectacularly saved by Alessandro Seius. A Silvester Flaccus attempt in the 44th would be saved by Marchand, but just barely. As this match approached the halftime interval, it still remained 1 to 1. That was still the case after Hong Chun Joo's shot hit the bar and ricocheted to Matthaeus Belaeus. Belaeus booted it away to safety and the referee whistled for halftime with the score tied at 1 goal apiece.

Cantus Virginum came out for the halftime show without incident. Agrippina Oranius and Maria Salvius were the Cantus Virginum singers for today. They sang a number of songs about several different themes before concluding with a song about the importance of accepting Iesus as your savior. The crowd applauded the performance and the second half was soon underway.

The second half was relatively uneventful early on. Things began to pick up around the hour mark when the Sanctii began to put pressure on Quebec's goal. Prince Andreas set up Petrus Mamilius through on goal and the Sanctii midfielder put a shot low and on the far side. Adrien Marchand dove and was barely able to get a hand on it, sending it out for a corner. Prince Andreas hit a corner into the area, but Eugene Cohen headed it back into the midfield area. The Sanctii had been unable to score the go-ahead goal on that occasion.

Quebec would get another strong scoring chance in the 77th minute, but Riley Johnson's shot this time was off target, going wide to the left side. Seius kicked it away deep to Silvester Flaccus. Flaccus headed it to Ioannes Poenius. Poenius tried to pass the ball to Prince Andreas, but Ross Woodward-Kim got in the passing lane and began sending it back the other way. After a series of passes, Thunderbolt Han had another scoring chance for the Quebecois. Han's shot looked for a moment like it would go in, but Alessandro Seius barely got to it and somehow held on. Seius got up and booted the ball away.

In the 83rd minute, the Sanctii finally got their match-winning goal. Alessandro Seius saved another Quebecois shot, this time a shot by Zachary Fortin. Seius tossed it out to Georgius Catiotus, who passed to Nicolaus Poenius. Poenius ran down the sideline and passed to Prince Andreas just on the other side of midfield. The Prince of Saintland evaded several Quebecois defenders, finding a way into the box. Staring down Adrien Marchand from the middle of the box, Prince Andreas faked a shot with his right foot then shot with his left foot, which is his weaker foot. The Prince Andreas shot was aimed at the bottom right corner of the goal, but Marchand had already dived to the left side and could not get there, so the capacity crowd at Royal Stadium watched and cheered as the shot went into the net for a match-winning goal. Although Quebec had a few scoring chances, Alessandro Seius wasn't going to let anything by him. The Sanctii would hold onto this 2 to 1 lead and that would be the final margin when it was all said and done.

With a victory over Quebec, the Sanctii are now tied with the Quebecois for 4th place. Both times have identical records, having won 4 times, drawn twice and lost twice. Both teams have also scored 17 goals and conceded 12 goals, which is tied for a goal differential of 5, which is better than anybody else in the group with the sole exception of Wight. Wight beat Sangti today 2 goals to 1 to solidify their group lead. They now have 18 points. Jedi8246 and The Sovan Antithesis are now tied for second place with 15 points after both of them won again. Karditan, which was seeded 2nd coming into this World Cup, is currently in 6th place with just 12 points despite picking up a victory today. Tomorrow is the final matchday before the mid-qualifying break. The Sanctii will be visiting Sondstead, who are currently 8th in the group with 9 points. Sangti will be hosting Karditan in a match that could seriously jeopardize the qualification prospects of the losing nation and the Sovan Antithesis will be hosting Wight. Tomorrow's match between the Kingdom of Saintland and Sondstead will be broadcast by Royal One. Be sure to tune in, as the Sanctii look to pick up 3 more points and ensure a respectable position at the mid-qualifying break. Although Sondstead is not regarded as a difficult opponent, the Sanctii will want to ensure that they leave with all 3 points. The Sanctii should reasonably be expected to perform better in the second half of qualifying than the first, so they should have a strong shot of finishing in the top 2 if they are even close to those positions after tomorrow. Last time around, the Sanctii were 9 points behind the group leader at mid-qualifying, 6 points behind the 2nd place team and 5 points out of 3rd place. A victory tomorrow would guarantee that they would be no more than 4 points out of the lead and no more than 1 point out of 2nd place. If both Jedi and the Antithesis falter tomorrow, the Sanctii could even be in second place at mid-qualifying. That would put them in immensely better position down the stretch. It is entirely possible that some of these teams that are off to strong first halves could fade in the second half like Krytenia did last time. Last time, Krytenia led our group with 24 points at the break, but they had just 8 points in the second half and finished 4th. Out of all the teams in this group, Jedi8246 bears the most resemblance to Krytenia, as a 3rd seed that did not release their roster and then went on to perform surprisingly well in the first half. For that reason, they seem to be the most likely to have a Krytenia-style second half collapse, but only God knows whether that will happen. The focus of our Kingdom's National Soccer Team needs to be on winning their matches. If they take care of the task at hand, whatever happens elsewhere will be irrelevant and they will qualify for the World Cup. We will soon know whether Prince Andreas can get his team back to their second half form from last time, but first the Sanctii need to finish the first half strong by taking 3 points in Sondstead. They simply can't afford to blow an opportunity to pick up points against weaker opposition and hopefully they will not blow that opportunity.

Statement from King Paulus XV

Last night, like most of my subjects, I watched my Kingdom's National Soccer Team defeat Sondstead 2 goals to nil. They picked up yet another victory in the World Cup to go into the mid-qualifying break on the right note. The National Team now has 17 points in Group 16, good for 3rd in the group and just 1 point behind the 2nd place team. I am satisfied with that performance, but I expect them to better that performance in the second half of qualifying. I would not attempt to tell my son Andreas how to captain his team, since I am certain that he knows the sport and understands its strategic aspects much better than I do. The entire team has honored my Kingdom by their strong performance on the field and by the class which they carry themselves with on and off of the field.

Sadly, I cannot say the same for the nation of Sondstead or its authorities. Yesterday, the soccer match was apparently marred by protesters who decided to protest matters relating to the internal affairs of a nation that they probably know next to nothing about. They protested the internal affairs of a nation that probably none of them have ever visited before in their lives. While every nation has its trouble makers and each one has a different way of dealing with them, it is still inappropriate for a nation to show such a complete lack of hospitality to a visiting sports team. It is even worse that the government of Sondstead openly endorsed and encouraged these protesters, according to their own media outlets! Even the Queen of Cassadaigua, that most repulsive of nations, tried her best to discourage her people from throwing apples at our athletes during the World Baseball Classic, when our National Baseball Team eliminated their team from the WBC. Even their own press outlets admitted that "Sondstead was outclassed by Saintland," which is the biggest understatement that I have ever heard.

After the match, one of their female players actually told their media that she has "no respect" for our National Soccer Team. I'm sure the players for New Sideburn, even their female players, would admit that they greatly respect our National Team. Media reports from Sondstead, that were confirmed by Sanctii fans, indicate that Sondstead fans actually disparaged Iulietta Perquitienus, a prominent Cantus Virginum singer and called her some rather nasty names that I will not repeat, nor will I permit the SP to print. I would like to point out that Miss Perquitienus is a role model and idol of many girls in my Kingdom, including my own daughter Maria. If those foreigners would actually bother to visit my Kingdom and speak to normal women, not those crazed Feministvs Sanctvsterra members, they'd recognize that the vast majority of women in my Kingdom like the way things are and do not have any desire to be men. If Feministvs Sanctvsterra actually represented anything more than a handful of lunatics, I can assure all foreigners that I would not deal with them in the manner in which I deal with them. They are an organization that shows no respect whatsoever for the moral standards of my Kingdom or the values of the overwhelming majority of women in my Kingdom, so I do not tolerate their shenanigans.

On a related subject, I feel I need to address something about Sister Polus. While I respect Sister Polus and consider her a godly lady, some of her opinions are not exactly reflective of the mainstream of opinion in my Kingdom. She is one of the leaders of the more traditional wing of the Church of Saintland, but her views are her own and are not necessarily reflective of those of the Church of Saintland. We believe in permitting our citizens to express their opinions, provided they show respect for our institutions and our community standards and provided that they express their beliefs in an orderly and respectful manner. A fringe group composed of mentally ill women whose opinions are at odds with those of almost all of the ladies of my Kingdom and a group of teenagers upset at Sister Polus because she requires them to wear uniforms to school should never have become popular causes for people in other nations. These groups and their complaints are simply silly. I must have laughed for an entire hour when I read Sondstead's press refer to Vindicta Progressvm as a "human rights" group. Since when is trying to maintain discipline in the classroom a violation of human rights? I doubt that the majority of foreign nations, even those "progressive" nations in the WA that are so certain that their way of life is the only right way, would consider a uniform policy at a high school to be a serious human rights violation.

After yesterday's match ended, Sondstead's fans rioted. According to their own news outlets, they heckled Sanctii players and spectators. Even worse was what they did to their own nation. They blockaded roads, just like their heroes from Feministvs Sanctvsterra are infamous for doing. They lit automobiles, which are apparently widely used in their nation, and buildings on fire! They attacked their own police officers and even some of my subjects that were guests in their nation to watch the match. My Kingdom's National Team received a police escort and originally planned to leave that nation immediately. However, these criminals found out about those plans and took over the airport, preventing the team from flying out of that nation and even demanding that my son Andreas be put on trial, for some reason I cannot fathom. I just received a message from my son Andreas a few minutes ago. He informed me that they are still stuck in Sondstead because it is not yet safe to get to the team plane to get out of that nation.

This is the first time that one of my Kingdom's National Teams has ever faced difficulties in leaving any foreign nation after an away match and this is utterly unacceptable. Presumably the nation of Sondstead intends to host international sports events in the future. If the newcomers to international sports continue to permit their fans to endanger the safety of opposing athletes or try to prevent those athletes from leaving their nation, this will jeopardize their ability to host any events. I have permitted numerous female athletes and spectators from other nations to enter my Kingdom and have even permitted them to violate the modesty laws. When unaccompanied foreign women have entered my Kingdom as spectators for international sports events, I have permitted them to leave, even though the law prohibits unaccompanied women or children from leaving my Kingdom, which is a law designed to protect the safety of the women and children of the Kingdom. Should Sondstead's authorities listen to the angry mob of sore-loser soccer fans and put my son on trial for some trumped-up charges, that would be a major black mark against the nation of Sondstead.

I demand that my Kingdom's National Soccer Team and all fans from my Kingdom that are still stranded in Sondstead be permitted to leave immediately. If the government of Sondstead wishes to maintain their reputation internationally, they must immediately send the police or, if necessary, the military to arrest any troublemakers in their airport and permit my subjects to leave their nation. Fortunately for Sondstead, there is an extra 24 hours between matches during mid-qualifying, so my Kingdom's soccer team has plenty of time to still make it to Aquitayne in time for their next match. I will give Sondstead the rest of the day to find a way for my players to safely leave their nation. If they are still stranded in Sondstead tomorrow, I will be sending a Royal Army escort and a Royal Air Force escort to ensure safe passage for my subjects. Should these forces be attacked, that would be considered an act of war not only against my Kingdom, but also against the Federation of Free Republics, a gigantic nation spanning 4 continents, with a population in the billions, that would be more than happy to turn Sondstead into a colony. Additionally, I insist that Sondstead take measures to ensure that this will never happen again in the future. If such measures are not adopted, I will insist upon a neutral site for any future matches between our nations. I will not permit the safety of my subjects to be jeopardized just because the government of a foreign nation chooses to not only do nothing to rein in a mob, but instead actively encourages them. I'm sure that the World Cup Committee would consider such a request to be reasonable, if the nation in question shows a reckless disregard for the safety of their opponents and their fans. I can promise that Sondstead's players and fans will not be subjected to any retaliation in a little over a week when they visit my Kingdom to wrap up qualification. While any Sondstead fans that enter my Kingdom to commit violent crimes will be prosecuted, I will permit their fans to watch and cheer on their team and I will permit their fans and players to leave my Kingdom in a timely and orderly manner after the match is over. That is the way all opposing teams and their fans are treated in my Kingdom and I insist that our opponents permit my Kingdom's teams and fans the same privileges. That is not an unreasonable request, nor should it be too much to ask of any nation that wishes to compete in international sports.

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:05 pm

By Sue Dysos

It was supposed to be a routine win. The supposed 'World Champions' are supposed to roll up to these games, turn on the style, win by three and go back to their respective clubs, safe in the knowledge they've taken one further step to the finals of the world's premier football tournament.

It wasn't as if Lzherusskia were particularly good, or adept in defence, or had a run of luck. Audioslavia simply didn't turn up.

Theories have been proposed before now - and all in the last six months - as to why the Audioslavian national team has gone from being nigh-on unbeatable (between the first round of AOCAF38 in 2164 and the second-round defeat to The Inevitable Syndicate in AOCAF 40 in the summer of 2172, Audioslavia lost to just two nations - Polar Islandstates (twice) and Krytenia. Both defeats were paid back with interest within the year.) to struggling to cope with even the most modest of opposition. The football played by bottom-feeders Lzherusskia failed to meet even that description of 'modest', and yet the World Champions managed to draw an utter blank.

Karsten Eiger, again deployed in the lone-striker role that he's come to loathe so much after years of building partnership after partnership in Franz Josef city, seemed disinterested in putting the effort in, perhaps all too aware that this was a tournament he'd won twice, playing the lead role both times, and had absolutely nothing to prove. One could argue his point, but the fact that everyone in the first eleven seemed to feel the same way is worrying.

Throughout the entirety of the Lzherusskia match, Audioslavia created just four chances, with only one going on target - a specuative effort from a clearly frustrated James Courier. Lzherusskia managed nine, with their two shots on target having seriously toubled the Audioslavian goal. That 93rd-minute chance, almost taken bu the Lzherusskian striker in injury time, could well have cosigned Audioslavia to one of the most infamous upsets of all time, perhaps behind only the ancient Bulls' 4-0 loss to Squornshelous in the qualifiers for World Cup 5. In short - generations ago.

The blame for Audioslavia's run of poor form has been laid at the feet of many people throughout the last six months, but none can feel more guilty than manager Israel Klimt, Klimt is likely to be sacked from his position, ever, thanks to his having guided Audioslavia to two World Cups, but the departure of gifted tactician David Radic, to manage an occasionally mis-firing Fwya side, appears to have knocked Klimt and the national side out of their stride entirely. Alvaro Mozo, Radic's repacement, cut a frustrated figure at the end of the game, all angry hand-signals and gestures for the side to 'push on', desperate to save his record from another bitterly disappointing result. Whether its Radic's mind that is missing or simply a desire from the multi-medalled national team remains to be seen. Either way. the World Champions could well be on the way to an embarassing sting in the Cup of Harmony if they continue to mis-fire in group 8.

IBSD, G'NB

World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

Who is online