[SUBMITTED - 1/21/2021] Uncorked and Unwined

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Inspiration: https://ahvalnews.com/istanbul-f1/turke ... -champagne

Couldn't find an issue specifically on this (e.g., @@NAME@@ has banned alcohol, but now they end up violating some important traditions at events attended by foreigners), so here we go!

Draft 2
[description]@@NAME@@ hosted its first Formula 1 motorcar race last weekend, which was televised and drew over a billion viewers from all over the world. At the traditional podium ceremony, however, the spectacular champagne shower was replaced by the feeble fizz of seltzer spluttering from the bottles. The notable lack of champagne drew even more attention when the Skandilundian Formula 1 champion Matti Järvinen complained about it on TV.

[validity]alcohol is banned, organized sports are not banned, nation did not choose Option 6 for Issue #569

1. [option]"We have just made fools of ourselves in front of a billion viewers!" wails @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of International Prestige, rubbing @@HIS@@ temples. "Giving the Formula 1 pilots seltzer instead of champagne to celebrate? Whose idea was that? I am as much in favor of our alcohol ban as the next person, but violating international traditions that involve alcohol will not reflect well on us. I suggest we relax our restrictions a bit to allow alcohol in events attended by foreigners; for the sake of our reputation!"

[effect]sports fans are getting better at faking a Bigtopian accent

2. [option]"Ah, so this Järvinen guy will get to celebrate his victory with champagne, but we won't?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a national @@ANIMAL@@ball player, and crosses @@HIS@@ arms with a grunt. "All problems seen as the ills of alcohol actually stem from its excessive consumption, so if we put a quota on how much alcohol a person can drink each month, I'm sure we would all be fine. And me and my pals could finally celebrate our victories with some beer instead of pineapple juice, for Violet's sake!"

[effect]alcohol ration cards are highly desirable commodities on the black market

3. [option]"Ah, who's gonna deal with all those colc- culc, hic-, calculations of quotas?" yelps @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Taxation, and you suspect you smell some cheap wine on @@HIS@@ breath. "Think about all the tax revenue we are losing by not allowing alcohol. We can just lift the prohibition and put heavy taxes on alcoholic beverages, which could still serve as a disincentive." @@HE_3@@ passes out while rubbing @@HIS_3@@ thumb and fingers.

[effect]beer brewing kits are bestsellers on shopping websites

4. [option]"I can't believe what I am hearing!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Morality. "Why do we have this inferiority complex towards the foreigners? Who says their customs are better than ours? As the proverb goes, when in @@CAPITAL@@, do as @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ do. If they come to our country, they need to live by our rules. Besides, if they need some spectacular foamy drink to celebrate, why not give them a bottle of Eckie-Ecola with a mint dropped into it? It does the job!"

[effect]winners of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ grand prix have a sticky feeling

[description]@@NAME@@ has hosted its first Nebula 1 motorcar race last weekend, which was televised and drew over a billion viewers from all over the world. As per tradition, the drivers in the top three positions step on a podium at the end of the race and pop champagne after the national anthem of the winner. This time, however, the spectacular champagne shower was replaced by the feeble fizz of seltzer spluttering from the bottles. The notable lack of champagne drew even more attention when the Skandilundian Nebula 1 champion Matti Järvinen complained about it on Twitcher.

[validity]alcohol is banned, organized sports are not banned

1. [option]"We have just made fools of ourselves in front of a billion viewers!" wails @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, your Minister of International Prestige, rubbing @@HIS_1@@ temples. "Giving the Nebula 1 pilots seltzer instead of champagne to celebrate? What were the organizers thinking? I am as much in favor of our alcohol ban as the next person, but violating international traditions that involve alcohol will not reflect good on us. I suggest we relax our restrictions a bit to allow alcohol on events attended by foreigners; for the sake of our reputation!"

[effect]people attending international sports events are getting better at faking a Bigtopian accent

2. [option]"Ah, so this Järvinen guy will get to celebrate his victory with champagne, but we won't?" asks @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, a national @@ANIMAL@@ball player, and crosses @@HIS_2@@ arms with a grunt. "All problems seen as the ills of alcohol actually stem from its excessive consumption, so if we put a quota on how much alcohol a person can drink each month, I'm sure we would all be fine. And me and my pals could finally celebrate our victories with some beer instead of pineapple juice, for Violet's sake!"

[effect]alcohol quotas are highly desirable commodities on the black market

3. [option]"Ah, who's gonna deal with all those colc- culc, hic-, calculations of quotas?" yelps @@RANDOMNAME_3@@, your Minister of Taxation, and you suspect you smell some cheap wine on @@HIS_3@@ breath. "Think about all the tax revenue we are losing by not allowing alcohol. We can just lift the prohibition and put heavy taxes on alcoholic beverages, which could still serve as a disincentive." @@HE_3@@ passes out while rubbing @@HIS_3@@ thumb and fingers.

[effect]beer brewing kits are bestsellers on shopping websites

4. [option]"I can't believe what I am hearing!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_4@@, your Minister of Morality. "Why do we have this inferiority complex towards the foreigners? Who says their customs are better than ours? As the proverb goes, when in @@CAPITAL@@, do as @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ do. If they come to our country, they need to live by our rules. Besides, our seltzer is just delicious." @@HE_4@@ pours some carbonated water into @@HIS_4@@ glass, gulps it down and belches to prove a point.

[effect]rumless tiramisu is a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ delicacy

[Trotterdam]

Wikipedia is a bit vague about exactly what in champagne causes its fizzy effect, but I'm pretty sure it's not the alcohol.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Wikipedia is a bit vague about exactly what in champagne causes its fizzy effect, but I'm pretty sure it's not the alcohol.

OK, this is a bit of a side issue - because people obviously do not just care about the lack of fizziness, the main problem being the violation of the champagne tradition. And the Formula 1 pilots would probably also like to celebrate with alcohol instead of a fizzy drink.

That being said, I like the idea of taking this issue literally and disingenuously reducing the problem to the lack of foam.

A pro-status quo option could be added (or Option 4 could be modified) to suggest giving the pilots Eckie-Ecola with a mint candy dropped into it, to create the fizzy effect if people like it so much. Problem solved!

[Trotterdam]

OK, this is a bit of a side issue - because people obviously do not just care about the lack of fizziness, the main problem being the violation of the champagne tradition.

That sounds a little too much like "people don't like what you did". Of course there are always going to be people who want to celebrate stuff with alcohol, but why should race winners be given special treatment?

The biggest points here are that (A) it's a long-running tradition (but then, most people who drink alcohol aren't doing so for the very first time, and we clearly knew we were going to interrupt people's habits when we instituted the ban), and (B) the winners might be foreigners from countries where alcohol isn't illegal (but that seems like a pretty poor excuse - again, we decided to institute these laws even though we knew there are people in the world who disagree with us).

I guess the biggest issue here is that if the international racing organization is sufficiently dissatisfied with our rules, they can just refuse to hold future races in our nation, which would hurt our tourism and entertainment industries. In that case, options would likely be a couple of different ways of trying to convince them to come back, deciding we don't need decadent races and should focus on more practical activities, or hosting our own wholesome racing events without needing the cooperation of an international organization. (Contrast #291, though, which is an international sporting organization not wanting to hold a competition in our nation for other reasons, or #573, which is us refusing to attend an event in another nation.)

I wonder what the real-life stance on this was though - they presumably knew about Turkey's alcohol ban even before the races and had decided it was worth putting up with. Individual drivers may have been disappointed, but it seems unlikely that the event planners didn't see this coming. Though depending on how strong the outcry is, it may or may not motivate them to take the matter more seriously next time.

A pro-status quo option could be added (or Option 4 could be modified) to suggest giving the pilots Eckie-Ecola with a mint candy dropped into it, to create the fizzy effect if people like it so much. Problem solved!

Yeah, something like that.

Again, I'm no expert on the chemical details, but I'm pretty sure you could design a non-alcoholic drink that looks convincingly like champagne, even if it tastes completely different. (And if you use unfermented grape juice as a base, not even that different.)

Consider the opposite side. How would these drivers feel about being given normal wine, that tastes pretty similar to champagne but isn't fizzy?

[Tinhampton]

...Nebula 1...

"F1" and "Formula 1" already appear in the Issuesverse canon through Issue #569 "Grand Prix De @@NAME@@?", if that matters lol

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

I wonder what the real-life stance on this was though - they presumably knew about Turkey's alcohol ban even before the races and had decided it was worth putting up with. Individual drivers may have been disappointed, but it seems unlikely that the event planners didn't see this coming. Though depending on how strong the outcry is, it may or may not motivate them to take the matter more seriously next time.

Just to clarify, Turkey does not actually have a ban on alcohol (GASP!). People are just very puritanical and they got even more so under a conservative government that espoused more authoritarian crackdowns on certain life style choices. Alcohol is allowed but is increasingly heavily taxed, and the official censorship body for TV and radio shows, etc., does stupid things like "beeping" the words "wine, beer, etc." in movies.

They could have legally just given champagne to the Formula 1 pilots, but some busybody decided to use his/her initiative to give them Sprite. It was embarrassing. Someone from Hamilton's team complained about this on Twitter and basically said they would have a real party to celebrate Hamilton's championship once they got home, with champagne instead of Sprite.

I am not sure there is going to be an official backlash from F1 though. It was an embarrassing and unnecessary breach of a nice tradition, but probably not a complete deal breaker for the organizers.

[Baggieland]

@@NAME@@ has hosted its first Formula 1 motorcar race last weekend,

The present perfect simple tense doesn't really work with time phrases, I suggest changing it to the past simple.

As per tradition, the drivers in the top three positions step on a podium at the end of the race and pop champagne after the national anthem of the winner.

Keep everything to the past simple.

Nice issue!

[Baggieland]

Also, due to mentioning Twitcher, does this require allows computers / internet validities?

Finally why all the numbers after the random names? You're not referencing back to them.

[Honeydewistania]

Also, due to mentioning Twitcher, does this require allows computers / internet validities?

Finally why all the numbers after the random names? You're not referencing back to them.

Well it's a foreign driver, so maybe their country has the internet. Though I guess it begs the question on how @@NAME@@ found out...

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

@@NAME@@ has hosted its first Formula 1 motorcar race last weekend,

The present perfect simple tense doesn't really work with time phrases, I suggest changing it to the past simple.

As per tradition, the drivers in the top three positions step on a podium at the end of the race and pop champagne after the national anthem of the winner.

Keep everything to the past simple.

Nice issue!

Yup, done that for #1. But the second sentence is about a general Fomula 1 tradition, which @@NAME@@ violated this time. I changed the sentence structure a bit, and the sentence now starts with 'it is customary...'. Do you think this works better?

Also, due to mentioning Twitcher, does this require allows computers / internet validities?

Finally why all the numbers after the random names? You're not referencing back to them.

Twitcher replaced by TV.

Thanks, I deleted the numbers. I think I anticipated potentially referencing back to them, so I wanted to play it safe. But it seems alright to keep them unnumbered for now.

Also, due to mentioning Twitcher, does this require allows computers / internet validities?

Finally why all the numbers after the random names? You're not referencing back to them.

Well it's a foreign driver, so maybe their country has the internet. Though I guess it begs the question on how @@NAME@@ found out...

I mean, they could presumably still find out about these things even without Twitter, because whatever gets posted on Twitter, if it is sensational enough, leaks into more conventional channels of communication as well. But anyways, I changed it, so this question is no longer relevant.

Thanks for all your comments!

[Baggieland]

Looking good FuF,

It is customary for the drivers in the top three positions to step on a podium at the end of the race and to pop champagne after the national anthem of the winner.

This is adding unnecessary waffle to the intro. Could it be trimmed down, or chopped altogether? I think most people know what happens on a sports podium.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Looking good FuF,

It is customary for the drivers in the top three positions to step on a podium at the end of the race and to pop champagne after the national anthem of the winner.

This is adding unnecessary waffle to the intro. Could it be trimmed down, or chopped altogether? I think most people know what happens on a sports podium.

OK, rephrased.

[Baggieland]

that involve alcohol will not reflect good on us.

I think the 'good' should be 'well'.

I suggest we relax our restrictions a bit to allow alcohol on events

In events.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

that involve alcohol will not reflect good on us.

I think the 'good' should be 'well'.

I suggest we relax our restrictions a bit to allow alcohol on events

In events.

Fixed. Thanks so much!

[Far Tholk]

In effect 1, "people attending international sports events" is quite cumbersome. Change it to "Sports fans are getting better at faking a Bigtopian accent."

Effect 2 sounds slightly wonky too. Can 'quota' refer to something that can be possessed/bought/sold? Maybe instead, "The black market is full of alcohol ration cards" or "people are stocking up on black market alcohol ration cards."

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

In effect 1, "people attending international sports events" is quite cumbersome. Change it to "Sports fans are getting better at faking a Bigtopian accent."

Effect 2 sounds slightly wonky too. Can 'quota' refer to something that can be possessed/bought/sold? Maybe instead, "The black market is full of alcohol ration cards" or "people are stocking up on black market alcohol ration cards."

Both of these were great suggestions and have been implemented. Thank you!

I am considering submitting this. Any more comments?