The title: It's obscure, yes. Alten is german for elderly, so altengarten is elderly garden, similar to kindergarten which is children garden.
Description
Last week, the most popular @@DEMONYM@@ aged care facility had a novel idea: combining aged care and kindergarten. The idea was well-received by geriatricians and geriatrics alike, and now elderly @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and their carers want in.
Validity
has elderly
Option 1
"It wasn't just a frivolous idea," states Prof. @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We attempted a trial run, and monitored the subjects closely throughout. Every one of the elderly participants showed significant improvement in physical ability, mental health, and overall wellbeing. And the children learned valuable life lessons! Please @@LEADER@@, implement this model of care across @@NAME@@."
Validity
All
Outcome
4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'
Option 2
"You have got to be joking!" replies @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, a mother of two. "If you think I'm sending my precious little kiddos off to some musty old folk's home, you're insane. No-one knows anything about what old Dorothy or Theodore are like with children, and my kids won't be the experiment to find out! In fact, let's stop youngsters from entering those places in the first place. Think of the children, @@LEADER@@!"
Validity
All
Outcome
"you must be this tall to enter" signs have started appearing on aged care homes
Option 3
"Sure, the trials showed promise…" begins @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Science. "But only one 'class' of children took part, and only around 20 seniors! How in Violet's name that's considered a scientific trial is beyond me. More trials and research are needed before we implement this wide-scale. If this effect is as beneficial as the professor says, surely it bears further study."
Validity
All
Outcome
proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers (?)
proper policy procedure needs a peer-reviewed paper prior to being put into practice
Option 4
"You want to WHAT?!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, an overworked carer from @@CAPITAL@@ Lakes. "Yesterday, I had to change 4 patients in the space of half an hour, and you want me to supervise children too? Nope. If you're going to put youngsters in aged care homes, they'll need to pull their weight. They can do all the dirty work, like washing up and so forth, while us qualified carers do the proper stuff! Maybe then I can finally catch a break." @@HE@@ breathes an audible sigh of relief.
Validity
All
Outcome
the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give