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[CLOSED FOR RENOVATION] Bloodied Brothers

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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The Free Joy State
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[CLOSED FOR RENOVATION] Bloodied Brothers

Postby The Free Joy State » Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:33 am

Because I love the musical Blood Brothers, and... that's all I can say about it.

EDIT: Trying to think of a less on-the-nose title. I'll get my script-book out later.

[title] Bloodied Brothers

[validity] at least some income inequality; does not have the No Sex policy

[description] All of @@NAME@@ has heard the story of the Johnson twins, how one was kept and the other given away, and how they were born and died on the very same day. And now, as two mothers cry "My dear son lies slain!", @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are wondering what played a part in this tragedy.

[option] "Mitchell Johnson grew in an environment of social deprivation," says a welfare officer, adjusting her expression of disdain to one of honeyed sympathy. "He grew up in the streets, effing and blinding among a pack of equally impoverished bas... bairns, while Ms. Johnson charred to raise her large brood. The trajectory of his life was set from childhood: a one-way ticket to poverty, petty crime and disaffection. Of course, he grew jealous of 'that guy' with the perfect life. The inequality between he and his adopted-out brother would have been reduced if opportunity was improved across the board. Let's replace slums with new housing, raise educational standards and create opportunities for the wealthiest and poorest children to meet as friends. Then, all children can have a bright new day."
[effect] parents are rarely as amused by their little darlings' new phrases as their children

[option] "Tell me it's not true!" snorts your Minister for Impecunious Persons. "Everett did not need to meet slum-dwelling oiks. He had a perfect life -- silver trays to take meals on and a bike with both wheels on. He was a credit to his adoptive mother. The problem is not that the children of the poor 'lack opportunity', it's that the poor are encouraged to keep their pups. Mitchell could have been just like Everett, an educated young man with prospects, not a violent killer. But Ms. Johnson lacked the decency to put him first. The poor -- especially single mothers -- should be encouraged to show consideration, by our cancelling any welfare and giving a small sum to those who surrender an infant to better, wealthier parents."
[effect] you can't buy a pound of flesh but you can buy approximately six-pounds-eight-ounces

[option] "Do you want to subject more women to the high price Ms. Johnson has had to pay?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, of women's rights advocacy group No-one Puts Mummy in a Corner. "Unable to recognise her own child's face, even if they ever do meet again? Ms. Johnson should never have felt compelled to give up her child -- it shouldn't matter if she had seven, eight or nine children, or the entire cast of More Than Enough Kids and Counting. The familial bond was broken -- unfixable. Society should prevent parental desperation and keep families together with ample welfare payments, flexible working arrangements, free childcare and educational opportunities to improve working mothers' prospects."
[effect] motherhood is a valuable occupation

[option] "The police shot this clearly disturbed man -- right after he found out he'd been lied to all his life -- within barely seconds of him raising his weapon!" snaps founder of de-armament organisation Firearms Ended, Like, Literally. "It may have been possible for him to be reasoned with, but the police acted like madmen, so we'll never know. There needs to be a public enquiry into the police's response in this case, and the police must be retrained, so that they offer comfort and support to people who are clearly on the emotional brink."
[effect] the police strategy of "reach for a hankie instead of your gun" has varying success in armed robberies
[option validity] guns allowed

[option] "How could anything else have happened?" asks a thin, spacey @@MAN@@ who walks into your room and begins hanging rabbits' feet from mirrors. "You do know what they say, don't you? If twin separated at birth ever learn they were once one of a pair, both will immediately die. It's not that Mitchell had been jealous of Everett since they met and temporarily lost his senses when he the truth. It was fate. To protect others, you should make it illegal to trace your ancestors. Adoptions should all be closed adoptions and birth records destroyed when they're finalised. What if others find out they once had a twin? I wouldn't want that on my conscience."
[effect] adoptees' growing up hearing their parents asked about genetic medical conditions think "Don't Know" is a disease


A draft based on a musical -- a bloody brilliant musical -- is not the most usual draft, I know.

But I think it's got a nice social inequality undercurrent.

[EDIT: Think I'll end up cutting "effing and blinding" -- the language implication is probably too much for gameside; what do people think?]
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:16 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:58 am

The Free Joy State wrote:[description] All of @@NAME@@ has heard the story of the Johnson twins
Except me. While some of the options (which are rather on the long side) do offer some hints as to what happened, they don't present a clear narrative.

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The Free Joy State
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Postby The Free Joy State » Wed Oct 16, 2019 3:02 am

Trotterdam wrote:
The Free Joy State wrote:[description] All of @@NAME@@ has heard the story of the Johnson twins
Except me. While some of the options (which are rather on the long side) do offer some hints as to what happened, they don't present a clear narrative.

My mistake in assuming it's as well-known as I think it is (if you haven't seen it, I do recommend it, if people ever get the chance incidentally)

I will try and clarify somewhat in the next draft, which will probably be tomorrow now.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Wed Oct 16, 2019 3:21 am

I've never even heard of that work before, let alone actually seen it.

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Fontenais
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Postby Fontenais » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:10 am

The Free Joy State wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:Except me. While some of the options (which are rather on the long side) do offer some hints as to what happened, they don't present a clear narrative.

My mistake in assuming it's as well-known as I think it is (if you haven't seen it, I do recommend it, if people ever get the chance incidentally)

I will try and clarify somewhat in the next draft, which will probably be tomorrow now.

I agree with Trotterdam. I've also never heard of the musical, so it was really confusing. I had to read it once to understand what happened (I'm still a bit unclear) and then I had to read it a second time to understand the context of the options.

Edit:
The Free Joy State wrote:EDIT: Trying to think of a less on-the-nose title. I'll get my script-book out later.

What about 'The Prince and the Pauper'? (not twins, but identical, and raised in very different circumstances)
Last edited by Fontenais on Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

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USS Monitor
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Postby USS Monitor » Wed Oct 16, 2019 8:45 am

I haven't seen the musical either. Maybe it's more popular in the UK than it is over here? I think "effing" has to go and the story needs to be easier to follow for people that haven't seen it.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Oct 16, 2019 9:57 am

I've seen it! I suspect that doesn't surprise you, given that we're the resident musical lovers, but I think its probably worth noting that most of our players aren't from the UK, most of them don't have Encore Radio on their presets, and most of them are probably more into superhero movies than musical theatre.

Still, didn't like Blood Brothers myself. I found it hard to suspend disbelief when the adult actors were playing the childhood versions of their characters. There was a nice core story there, and I'd love to see this as a film with separate actors for the children, but in its current form I found it really hard to immerse into.

Which is weird, because I had no problem suspending disbelief with the visible puppeteers on Avenue Q, and never any worry suspending disbelief at the magic and broomstick flying of Wicked. But I guess adults putting on kid voices just felt too uncanny for me and stopped me connecting with the story.

Anyway, on the issue itself...

[description] All of @@NAME@@ has heard the story of the Johnson twins, how one was kept and the other given away, and how they were born and died on the very same day. And now, as two mothers cry "My dear son lies slain!", @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are wondering what played a part in this tragedy.


This is lovely and poetic, being lifted pretty much from the prologue of the show, but while it suits a stage show well it feels kind of affected for an issue. I know Ransium did that poetry issue as a one-off, but I think there's not really sufficient justification here for this degree of floweriness.

Also, this issue is a big ole wall of text, and is really just a tribute to the show, not reading that well as an issue in its own right, which is a problem for readers who might not know the show. I'd also agree that there's not enough context to the dilemma for people who don't know the musical.

I feel like maybe the musical could instead inspire an issue and be referenced lightly, rather than the whole show being ported over into an issue. Maybe the issue could be focused in on the whole nature vs nurture thing, and equality of opportunity giving two twins different life outcomes, and have the tragic deaths of the brothers be kept for the musical itself.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
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The Free Joy State
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Postby The Free Joy State » Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:11 pm

Thank you for your thoughts, all (I can't believe you didn't like Blood Brothers, CWA; I'm in floods at that ending)

I will have a rethink and return properly in a couple of days with a revamp.
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Baggieland
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Postby Baggieland » Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:51 pm

Hi Joy, this probably won't surprise you, but I too have never heard of this musical! However, from reading the intro and first two options, it was clear what the issue was about. My biggest problem is the length, I got bored by the time I finished reading option two - it needs a hefty trim.

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:10 am

I think you should better explain the story to those of us who don't get the reference. Also, why the child given away, and why did he die?
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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