World Cup 100 | RP thread

[Saint-Lazarus]

FINANCIAL TROUBLES HIT THE FEDERATION AND THE NATIONAL TEAM
Iloilo City, Federal Capital Territory

Before their games with Woodsmere and Avote, there has been a financial problem within the federation due to the lack of funds after the Pyazhnaya game. The federation tried to handle it, but no to avail. Poor funding of the team has been speculated around the nation, the federation faces a possible withdraw from the qualifiers because of the problem. The financial instability of the federation hit rock bottom as one of the ex-presidents is alleged to be in a corruption scandal because of it. "We were trying to recover the funds, but no to avail.", says RFSF president José Manbatoc. "There has been a speculation of corruption since the former president resigned because of it and we're not trying to recover from it actually." The people went frustrated when this announcement happened. "Our team is trying to do their best against the world!", says a local fan. "But how the federation do that sometimes? Are you kidding me?" "I know it's a scandal, but we should withdraw until the problem is solved.", says another fan. "I know it could be hard but, let's withdraw." The federation filed a withdrawal to the World Cup to the organization after some speculations of the corruption scandal committed by former president of the RFSF, Miguelito Flavier. And will also forfeit future matches for the same reason.

[Tanirinthia]

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OF FATES AND FORTUNES
Chapter Thirty Six - The Strangeness of Home

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Clara awoke to find Jasper curled up next to her, thankfully asleep, he'd really not been getting that much of late; she couldn't remember the last time he didn't have bags under his eyes and a heavy weight pulling down on his shoulders. Wanting to give him as many extra minutes of sleep as possible, she carefully extracted herself from the bed, slowly eking her body out inch by inch stopping every time she heard Jasper seem to stir, perhaps after all this is over a career as a jewel thief or a cat burglar (whatever one of those is) could be next. Tiptoeing over a thankfully carpeted and silent floor to the laptop at the desk and got to work.

It had been years since they'd set foot back on Tanirinth soil, it was odd to return after so long to the familiar. I was as you would expect by the word familiar, yet in that familiar there was something slightly off like returning home to find somethings not quite in the usual spot, somethings missing and other things that weren't there beforehand. The biggest change was the multiverse was no longer a secret, you can even find football scores across the multiverse on teletext, at least Jasper's vision that the players deeds would not be lost to history. There was talk of opening up not just temporary travel but permanent immigration and emigration. And with all of this openness had brought forth a flow of ideas, commerce and technologies, all of which had added to the eerie feeling of the strange familiar.

What had brought them back here without their mission complete yet? A fun quirk of the multiverse, the CTE as Jasper named it, the Country Termination Event, where for reasons unclear a country ceases to exist. Now when you think of a country no longer existing, you are thinking of some kind of natural disaster, or perhaps the country no longer exists as it has been conquered by another, a CTE is something else entirely. The country, the physical (or metaphysical) space where it once was ceases to exist as a reality, and everyone and everything in it with it, with one exception under certain conditions. The exception is that for some but not all cases, those who are citizens of outside countries with a presence in the multiverse can seemingly avoid the cessation of their existence and default back to their country of origin. There doesn't appear to be a clear pattern to this, for example from a certain country pops back, sometimes they pop up in another country entirely (although there seems to be a fairly causal link to these people being on a sports team of some kind).

Which bring us to the last branch of the uniter family tree, who had been in a country called The Islands of Qutar until over a century ago now and had on our best guess popped back into Tanirinth, what the laptop was running to try to find any discrepancies in the census data around this time, people existing without having lived a recorded life beforehand. The search part would be easy enough, however what was taking to night was to break into the genealogical records which had an incredibly surprising amount of security, which if she wasn't trying to break in would have been found reassuring. She switched windows to see the progress.

12 Results Found

Looks like the work had paid off, however with Jasper still asleep there was no rush especically given that those 12 ahead of us would only add to his burden, so she snuck back into bed and curled up with him and let the world past by them for just a few more hours.

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Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen | Chapter Seventeen | Chapter Eighteen | Chapter Nineteen | Chapter Twenty | Chapter Twenty-One | Chapter Twenty-Two | Chapter Twenty-Three | Chapter Twenty-Four | Chapter Twenty-Five | Chapter Twenty-Six | Chapter Twenty-Seven | Chapter Twenty-Eight | Chapter Twenty-Nine | Chapter Thirty | Chapter Thirty-One | Chapter Thirty-Two | Chapter Thirty-Three | Chapter Thirty-Four | Chapter Thirty-Five

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Matchday One

Matchday Two

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[Free Republics]

Barjavel Academy
Republica, Free Republics

The Barjavel Academy school break had ended and classes were set to resume. But first the school day started with an assembly as students filed in from their dormitories. The Republican National Soccer Team and their famous Cheerleading Squad had not returned to the dormitories and rumors were that they had been excused from school for the duration of World Cup Qualifying. Dr. Kennedy, the headmaster of the school, arrived promptly at 8 AM after all of the students were seated with their homerooms except for the empty seats. He walked onto the stage, looking up at the students dressed in their blue and white cap and gown (OOC: Think high school or college graduation in the RL US.), as usual for an assembly at the highly prestigious school.

Dr. Kennedy - Hello, students and welcome back to Barjavel Academy! While many of you spent your recent break here in Republica, others went home or on vacation somewhere in our glorious Federation. I don't wish to speak for too long today but there is a matter I need to address. Namely, the question of our soccer players and cheerleaders who are currently representing our nation in the World Cup. As you know, they are currently in Macbon where they will face the local team, which has still yet to identify their roster, in a World Cup qualifying match. However, through the assistance of our Grand Immortal Imperator and Citrus Computing, we have discovered a way for them to attend their classes and continue their studies without being physically present. First off, let me introduce you to Senator Koby Theodore, the coach of our National Soccer Team.

A transparent hologram that looked like Koby Theodore walked onto the stage. As he moved, his footsteps made real noise as if he was physically present but you could see right through his body.

Koby Theodore - Thank you, Dr. Kennedy. As you can tell, I am here in the Barjavel Academy auditorium but I am also in Macbon at this moment. This new virtual reality headset called the Citrus Vision Pro allows me to be physically present anywhere within the Federation of Free Republics while I am actually in a different country.

Dr. Kennedy - You may say this is impossible, a violation of the laws of physics. But you had best believe your lyin' eyes. It actually works.

Koby Theodore - It is also possible for anybody wearing the headset to physically interact with the environment or to be physically interacted with by the environment. Allow me to demonstrate.

Koby Theodore grabbed a pen off of the podium and tapped it against Dr. Kennedy's head. Dr. Kennedy grabbed the Republican coach by the arm, careful not to cause any bodily harm.

Dr. Kennedy - As you can see, this is full sensory virtual reality that allows you to be at a different place in 2 different places in the real world at the same time. Even I have no idea how the brilliant engineers at Citrus managed to pull this off.

Koby Theodore - We have acquired one of these amazing headsets for each member of our team and each of our cheerleaders to enable them to continue their studies as usual. We do request that they be excused from class and other school responsibilities when necessary to perform their duties for our National Team.

Dr. Kennedy - This request is, of course, granted. But we also expect our student-athletes to take the student part seriously and participate in all expected school activities when they do not conflict with their athletic responsibilities.

Koby Theodore - This will not be a problem. This school has produced some truly phenomenal young men and young ladies. I know none of them would ever neglect their studies. In fact, if we did not have these miraculous headsets, they would almost certainly be insisting upon returning to Republica to attend their classes. Without further adieu, I give you the Republican National Soccer Team and the Republican Cheerleading Squad!

The soccer players and cheerleaders arrived through the entrance in the seats and took their seats with their respective homerooms. The assembly and school day continued as Koby Theodore removed the VR headset, returning to Macbon where he would spend the day with his coaching staff and entourage including Sporting World reporter Clarice Chaussee...

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News Magazine

A Foreigner's Guide to Why You Should Visit the Federation of Free Republics
By: Arthur Peterson

Recently, Sporting World Magazine announced the Sporting World Showcase, which has received a very tepid initial response from the multiverse. We at News Magazine believe many foreigners are averse to traveling to the Federation for various reasons. Whether they remember our past political instability, are baselessly concerned that they might be arrested for saying the wrong thing or are put off by our elections where we allow the people to determine the fate of criminals, there is a lot of misplaced apprehension about traveling to our great Federation. Much of it is based on misinformation and outdated information.

Let's start from the beginning. We are not a nuclear wasteland. We only appeared to be because of some unknown supernatural force that wished to keep foreigners out of the FFR while we sorted out our internal chaos. We are also not implementing Samuel Izmailov's Invade the World, Invite the World policy. While the late Consul Izmailov was a great man who had a dream and a vision of a better multiverse, the FFR of today is a peaceful nation where would-be warmongers are subject to crucifixion. We are also not Saintland. In fact, anybody who attempts to do what Consul Reino Kulseth did around 3 decades ago would find himself burnt at the stake under our current laws. We are also not a dangerous place any longer. While we retain a right to keep and bear arms, far fewer of our citizens feel the need to do so because we have eliminated most urban crime via the Grand Immortal Imperator's law and order policies combined with firm punishments for wrongdoers.

One potential worry many foreigners have is a concern that we'll execute or flog them for unknowingly breaking some minor law. This is untrue. Unless you do something especially egregious in the Free Republics, we will elect to deport you and bar you from re-entry rather than execute or even flog you. We don't want any international incidents. We want peace. If that means that foreign criminals who enter our country get deported instead of the punishment that they deserve and would receive if they were a Republican, so be it. In practice, this means that you, the foreign tourist, do not have to worry about crime while you are in the Federation of Free Republics. The only exceptions are if you commit a major crime that would be punished in any remotely civilized society such as murdering somebody, maiming somebody or raping somebody. In such cases, we feel that your home country will probably understand if we punish you appropriately so we will do so. But you're not a murderer or rapist. If you were, I'd hope you certainly wouldn't be considering coming to a country that has law and order! Also, we are not going to put a foreigner up for election because we are well aware that your country's consulate would likely be bothered by that.

You might also have the misconception that we are a dictatorship. I have no idea where that malicious libel comes from because the Grand Immortal Imperator restored our representative democracy. We now hold consul elections every 6 months, with terms lasting for a year. We still elect our People's Assembly every 2 years and our Senate is still appointed by the Republics although the Grand Immortal Imperator can also appoint worthy individuals to the Senate and the judiciary as he sees fit. More importantly, each Republic maintains its autonomous self government and we maintain our system of constitutional rights with some minor modifications to allow for public order and prevent political parties from constantly sending our country into civil wars and foreign wars. You have no need whatsoever to treat us as a pariah state or to perceive us as a dangerous place that lacks the rule of law. We are a nation of law and order so of course we run our country according to its laws.

Now, with those nonsensical and misinformation-based objections out of way, let me tell you about the affirmative reasons why you should visit the Federation of Free Republics: We are a nation like no other. Of unparalleled size. We have virtually every attraction you could imagine. Our hard-won political stability has allowed our cultural life to thrive. We now have, by far, a larger percentage of our population working as professional athletes, musicians, artists, actors, entertainers and the like than ever before in our history. Our Grand Immortal Imperator has rebuilt our stadiums and built new concert halls and museums. We also have an extremely diverse population from all over the multiverse and a restaurant scene that offers every cuisine you can imagine. We have stunning forests, many beaches and all of the swamps you can imagine. Our zoos have almost every variety of animal imaginable though we have yet to acquire any talking horses. And they probably don't want to be in our zoos anyway! We also have many bars where you can drink the multiverse's best alcohol if you are at least 18 years of age. Or you can gamble on sports events that you aren't participating in at our casinos.

Most importantly for nations that are considering entry into the Sporting World Showcase, we can offer you the chance to compete in front of enormous crowds of 100,000 or so passionate Republican fans against world class opposition that you might never get to play otherwise. We are also offering to share a substantial share of the gate and 50 million thalers in prize money for the national team that wins it all. We hope you will visit the Free Republics soon and learn why we're the best place to travel in the multiverse.

Arthur Peterson is News Magazine's Tourism Columnist. A graduate of the University of Republica School of Journalism, he has been covering tourism for News Magazine for the past 5 years and has been to over 100 of our Federation's Republics.

[Airannia]

Meanwhile, in the present...

Salagavanya 0 - 2 Airannia
Salagavanya Stadium*, Lanthanide Zxarvani, Salagavanya
37': -- Mon Gantre (AER)
44': -- Joux Khettesburá (AER)
60': Êkarloz Tuptyól 0-1
63': Stéphen Helmantha <> Lico Luth (AER)
65': Donato Stáspertéls 0-2
66': Ilténe Shibhann+ <> Kit Évangelique (AER)
80': Alphe Toussaint <> Alexander Régervothys (AER)

Anxiety
The best way to describe the first half of the "first" match of Airannia in the World Cup Qualifiers is Anxiety.

Anxiety among Fans: There were more Airannians on the pitch than there were in the stands. It seems the allure of the national team competing with the World's best hasn't warmed anyone up enough to book a hotel room in an unknown land yet.

Anxiety among the Team: The Airannians that were actually on the pitch weren't playing their best. Salagavanya played dominantly in the opening minutes, leading to Gantre having to make an incredibly reckless tackle. It was almost as if the players were toy soldiers: they looked the part as a strong team! But only on photos. Not on video.

Anxiety among the Staff: The manager Constance Enquás was seen pacing heavily throughout the first half. Not only were his soldiers struggling, they were being crushed. It's a miracle there was no goals by the opposing side, who were attacking creatively - even though Enquás knew the Drills could perform better.

Climax
The best way to describe the second half of the "first" match of Airannia in the World Cup Qualifiers is Tension.

Tension on the field: From kick off in the second half onward, the Airannian team seemed to be winding up; getting closer and closer to a real team on the field. Maybe it was in the water? Maybe it was in the air? Wherever it was, everyone could feel it: something was gathering. The few fans that had travelled the long distance were holding their breath (a little longer than usual. You can't really go more than 1.5 minutes without breathing).

Tension in the net: A creative attack soon followed, Pirakel threw the ball high into the air from a corner kick. It felt as if time slowed down, like in a song that takes forever to hit a drop - but when it dropped, Tuptyól had headed it in. Immediately, a sigh of relief could be read from everyone's faces, and the tension in the stadium was transferred into the net, as the ball hung there for a split second before falling down. But as a proper story goes, another high point was coming - shortly after Helmantha was exchanged for Luth, the ball once again managed to find itself frontward, and Stáspertéls, the right back player somehow fumbled it into goal. Now, victory was within reach.

Tension in your leg: With all that said and done, the suspicious feeling of "something" building up was still in the air. Quickly, even this last bit of tension in the stadium was dispersed... directly into the hamstrings of Ilténe Shibhann, who was quickly taken off and replaced with Évangelique. In the remaining half-hour, all tension was gone. No anxiety, nor tension - just uninspired and boring football.

Airannia 3 - 0 Sudilia
Centerby Stadion, Vorácy, Airannia
1': Pilleç Tournay 1-0
17': -- Micah Mitchell (SUD)
26': Pilleç Tournay 2-0
29': -- Alphe Toussaint (AER)
37': -- Daniel Bourne (SUD)
37': -- Mon Gantre (AER)
45': Mon Gantre <> Armande Hotsimya (AER)
50': Mateo Keen-Rossi <> Clara Besette (SUD)
50': Christian Clark <> Lottie Khan (SUD)
62': -x2>-- Micah Mitchell (SUD)
62': Stéphen Helmantha (PK) 3-0
65': Micah Mitchell <> Obasie Chioke (SUD)
70': -- Donato Stáspertéls (AER)
77': Quent Pirakel <> Lico Luth (AER)
88': Pilleç Tournay <> Marten Hiqa (AER)

Battle
The best way to describe the first half of the second match of Airannia in the World Cup Qualifiers is Battle.

Battle for the ball: The ball was hotly contested directly from the start. Right from kickoff by the visitors, Tuptyól chased the ball around like a storm hunter chases a storm. Before long, he'd gotten Tournay battling to control it with Bélair contesting him hotly - though the human mammoth that is Pilleç Tournay worked the ball into the net, damn near ripping it to shreds.

Battle to survive: From that moment on, sparsely more than 2 minutes since the starting whistle, the game had turned not so much into a battle for the ball, but a battle to survive. Tackling got rough. The crowd was hard to please - especially since Sudilian supporters had actually flown out en masse; whistling could be heard during every play, not just those by the away team. Yellow cards flew, and the ball that Tournay managed to work into the goal was an afterthought. The objective of winning at football was seemingly forgotten.

Divergence
The best way to describe the second half of the second match of Airannia in the World Cup Qualifiers is Divergence.

Divergence from the status quo: The Airannian team chose to not return hotheaded Gantre to the field in the second half; instead putting in Hotsimya, just returning from an injury. Suddenly, the Airannians begun to play football again, while the Sudilians seemed to be stuck on battle. And this bold strategy worked! With much more dominance toward the Sudilian goal, it seemed that football was more effective than battle... at least, when you're trying to win at football.

Divergence from the rules: Now, here's where things got a little messed up: the 61st minute. Êkarloz Tuptyól is running towards the box, putting himself directly in front of Christian McCoy. Before long, he'd be firing a shot, but with Micah Mitchell right behind him, he opts for a different move: dropping to the floor. It's not an advise what any analyst would give you - and I guarantee you, Hétman wasn't happy after the game - but in this case, Airannia's good karma was as good as unbeatable: the referee granted not only a penalty kick to the Drills, but also a second yellow to Mitchell - who was therefor sent off. Helmantha gracefully lobbed the ball behind McCoy from 11 metres, and afterwards, the game diverged into a boring mess: Airannia satisfied with the 3-0 scoreline; Sudilia mentally too broken and physically too tired to make any more moves.

Divergence from expectations: With all said and done, Airannia has now sincerely diverted from expectations - 6 points from 2 games isn't anything to scoff at; especially from an unrated team, "new" to the scene. Tanirinthia away is bound to put the Drills at 6 points from 3 games, right? It's to be hoped - or else the time-space continuum might truly be broken.

[StrayaRoos]

The first window of the World Cup 100 Qualifiers may have shown that we don’t have much to worry about if we’re worried about missing out. The Emus delivered a 3-0 battering of Sargossa in Pale, in a match that most pundits expected to be close, but instead we took a solid win from the match. The first half started as an indication of a close contest, with possession being evenly distributed in the middle third, and shots being 3-1 in favour of the Emus at the 30-minute mark, resulting in a goalless game. That changed moments before halftime, as Cruz Kaiplo headed in a corner from Ella Vidya, a combination which is unlikely to be seen again after this cycle, and made it 1-0 to the Emus. Then it came to halftime.

The second half started as the first ended, with Thomas Jaali scoring an excellent solo goal on his debut, after receiving a through ball from Mark Forsberg, who’d blocked a shot from Adrian Rodríguez, then running it up into the box, weaving past defenders, (insert other romanticised descriptions here), and then straight past Sargossan keeper Julio Enriquez to make it 2-0 after 51 minutes. Then, the two sides reached a bit of an impasse. Sargossa managed to get a few decent chances, most notably hitting the crossbar on the 78-minute mark, but the Roosians had nothing too promising to show in the half. Although it looked certain that they’d win, the Emus had a chance to confirm that once and for all - an 86th minute free kick given for a bit of an off tackle by Asier Recio on Lara Jraena as she tried to get the ball forward for a goal, and that went badly for the Sargossans, as Yasmeen Karma got a chance for a third goal, just what Jraena was trying to deliver. And, straight from just outside the box, she slotted it in the top corner, past Enriquez’s outstretched arm, into the back of the net. 3-0 StrayaRoos. Game, Set, & Match.

While Window 1 producing a solid victory against the second seed in the group was a relief, as we said before the opening window, the big test will be Window 2. Seeburg and Burgland are much closer to the remainder of the group than Sargossa. While on a normal day, we should be able to beat them easily, our real problem is growing complacent because of this. There’s a small margin for error, due to the top 2 being the only ones going through, so we need to take points every game, no matter what.

[TJUN-ia]

Hello, and welcome to our coverage of World Cup 100! Yes, this is still technically the "Random Ramble" that you all know and love, but that name has been set aside for the Centennial in order to celebrate the moment we are currently in - the Biggest World Cup of all time and the Farewell Tour of TJUN-ia's Co-Managers. This who story, this moment in our time, is a good distraction from the issues of the day - the race against climate chance, the right-wing shift across the multiverse and the appearance of one Tom Baxter that has many TJUN-ians concerned for our friends in Hapilopper City. Our mission in this tournament is to just "go out with a bang", to send David Seems and Li Xiu YIng off in the best way possible, and if we can do that, everyone will be happy with that. So with that in mind, this journey has to start somewhere...so here we go!

The Estádio do Pacífico in Rio Pacífico would have the honour of hosting the opening contest of this 16-part battle towards World Cup Qualification, and that would start against New Arbuckle, one of the many BoF debutants this tournament has produced. This game was more about "starting" everything than everything else, a chance for TJUN-ia to get up and running...and yeah, we did do that. It was a pretty simple affair to deal with, but we took on this debuting team and we beat them, so I don't know what else to tell you about what happened in Rio Pacífico. It was just comfortable, and it showed, with Belle Whitewater netting a brace and Tupu Hau Tapine heading home the 3rd late on to secure the points. We did what we needed to do, and that was that.

Then came the first road trip, against another BoF team in the form of Surne. This was expected to be another game where we did what we needed to do and got the job done...and then old TJUN-ia reared its ugly head again. Old TJUN-ia, if you are wondering, is the team before we qualified for our first World Cup, or even the team from the "Long Winter" between WC93 and WC97 - a team that, despite its ranking and talent, constsntly underachieved to the point of frustration. It was a dark time...and unfortunately, the feeling of that era returns in this game. We lost 3-1 to the debutants. Diana Sharafutdinov got our only goal, but damn...yikes.

So yeah, we start this long road 1/2 - not the end of the world, of course, but dropping points on MD2 is just not fun at all - especially to a debuting team. Colmaijo comes to Carlandas next before our final game before the 1st bye - a very important trip to Sangti and the Filindo Isles.
GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group 20)
(Stadium Guide can be found here)
MD1: vs New Arbuckle (381) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico W 3-0
MD2: @Surne (283) L 1-3
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MD3: vs Colmaijo (249) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas
MD4: @Sangti and the Filindo Isles (87) - Nuevo Estadio Nacional, Nuevo San Marco
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MD5: BYE
MD6: vs Behh (336) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu
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MD7: @Choppyhausen (142)
MD8: vs Valentine Z (49) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD9: @Lignuntia (UR)
MD10: @New Arbuckle (381)
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MD11: vs Surne (283) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD12: @Colmaijo (249)
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MD13: vs Sangti and the Filindo Isles (87) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD14: BYE
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MD15: @Behh (336)
MD16: vs Choppyhausen (142) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville
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MD17: @Valentine Z (49) - Kyarpan Stadium, Mandalay
MD18: vs Lignuntia (UR) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat

[Shell Shock Troop Clan]

(OOC: Based on the video game "Slay the Spire." There may or may not be more RPs along these lines.)

There are many video games that simulate the World Cup, with greater or lesser versimilitude. Some, like Savadox Games, have faithful reproductions of real teams and players. Others are highly abstracted.

Andújar Arts, based in Mainat (northwest SSTC) has now released Beat the Bracket, a thematic roguelike game. The roguelike mechanic is well-suited to simulating a single-elimination tournament; once defeated in any individual match, the player's "tournament" is over, and they can't return to it. However, by participating in multiple tournaments over time, they can unlock new skills and trophies, which will make it easier for them to achieve success in future tournaments.

Players can take on the role of one of four characters, based on dynasties from the early history of the World Cup. The Bull charges recklessly at opponents, sometimes sustaining physical injuries or mental damage from "anti-football," to unleash brutal destruction. The Lemming excels by deploying lots of individually weak rodents, and inflicting psychosis on their opponents, which does damage over time. The Potoroo cultivates several sacred trees, whose fruits can provide extra offense, defense, or energy. And the Junis-Omeh shifts between different "systems:" when in takil mode, both she and her opponents inflict more damage on each other, while in karela mode, she conserves energy to unleash later.

In the first couple rounds, you'll play relatively beatable sides. One common foe is the "newb," who retreats into a defensive position the first time they're scored upon. Another frequent opponent is the communist. At first, they appear as a monolithic vanguard, but after sustaining damage, they will morph into multiple weaker sides. Depending on whom you ask, this is either admirably representing the equitable distribution of resources or maliciously stereotyping ideological opponents as wanting to drag everyone down to the same terrible level. But hey, at least you're free to form your own opinion about it! Our predecessors would never!

But beware of more challenging opponents such as the Eagles! If you're able to score a hat trick against them, their fans will stop singing and they'll be depressed for a few rounds. (The Lemming is especially well-suited for this strategy, since they might be able to field three small rodents at once.)

In the beta version of BtB, if you succeeded in beating the Eagles, you'd unlock a Nest relic for use in future runs--this serves as an extra home stadium, allowing you to rest and recuperate an extra time between rounds. Unfortunately, this was misused by the cocoabo hackers who briefly spammed the leaderboard with it, and it has been removed in later patches.

MD1: Gutiérrez 35
MD2: Sandrie 16, Davis 37, Young 84; Montealegre 49, Lira 72

[Carpathia and Ruthenia]

Scoring 9 to 5 what a way to make all three points

Carpathia and Ruthenia – 9 (4)
Antonini, Verona, Naldi, Alinari, Kövér, Lecce, Brunetti, Vinci, Bassi (4', 34', 48', 57'), Crocetti (9', 18', 67', 68'), Pék (88')

Oscioru – 5 (4)
Rinaldi (1'), Bosch (20', 40', 75'), Côté (45+3')

Well how to describe the game we just had; record breaking (not just for Carpathia and Ruthenia but for world football stats geeks) a game of two halves, worse for blood pressure than a big handful of salt? However we describe it the important thing is no matter the numbers, the ones that are important being three and zero. Three points for us safely in the bank, and zero points for Qusmo failing to even save a draw against Canamn. But what a way to start qualifying, conceding immediately after kickoff only to reply within three minutes, ending up with both teams scoring four goals apiece in the first half, with Oscioru coming down from 4-2 to equalise in the dying moments of the first half which you would think gave them the momentum going into the second half. Well it must have been one hell of a team talk from Brelk-Xeral Erv with us going out to scoring four more goals, this time unanswered until a consolation goal for Oscioru in the 75th minute, although I don't know if it feels right to describe the fifth goal a team has scored and a hattrick goal at that to be a consolation. The nail in the coffin and what puts this into the history books came in the 88th minute with the ninth and final Carpo-Ruthenian goal. I've been informed by the statisticians around me that this is what’s known as a scoragami, the first time this score has ever happened in World Cup history and something of a rarity given this is the one hundredth cycle of the tournament.

Three points we'll take, but what does this bode for the qualifying campaign ahead? Depends on with Carpathia and Ruthenia squad shows up, the first half squad or the second half squad, hopefully the one thing we can take away is that our strikers are firing on all cylinders so even with a defence leaking like a colander perhaps we can use the adage of the best defence is a good offence. One record however that was kept safe is Olivia De Luca's five goals in one match, but could this be the campaign that too falls or is at least matched?

By Margita Ongaro
CBC Ruthenia

[Sangti and the Filindo Isles]

TO: Official Representatives of FA-TJUN-ia
FR: Paterno Pajo
    CEO, Libertad Sportswear

SUBJECT: Updated kit deal for TJUN-ia National Team

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Greetings!

I am Paterno Pajo, the current Chief Executive Officer of the Libertad Sportswear company, who is one of the emerging kit makers in the multiverse. I am writing to your organization as you have been a client of No Nonsense Sportswear, which assets our company have acquired for the past period of time.

We would like to offer you a new kit deal that will see TJUN-ia don updated kits for the foreseeable future. As we are discontinuing the NN branding, we are contacting nations that are still using NN kits or uniforms and offering them updated kits in their current or upcoming competitions.

As one of the premier national teams in Esportiva and in the multiverse, your nation will be one of our flagship clients of our growing brand and we wish to extend our relationship by offering this deal to your organization.

We appreciate your response on this matter. Kindly let us know if you have any concerns or issues with this communication. Hope to hear your response soon.

Thanks and Regards.

[Banija]

Kadongo Kamu earn a pair of tight victories to get a positive start to World Cup 100 Qualifying

ISTRIA, MORAVICA- There are a lot of ways to kick off a World Cup Qualifying campaign. You can any possible set of point combinations through 2 games- besides, 5, I guess. And even then- performances matters just as much, or maybe even more, than the actual results, depending on the ambitions of the team you have. So think about all of that, when hearing the words of Trishcuk, the gaffer, after two games. "All we can do at this point, is start positively in the table, give ourselves some margin for error- and we did exactly that. We've got a lot to improve in many different parts of the pitch, but 6 points from 6 points possible, no matter the circumstances, is always a positive start. Can't get away from that truth."

And that is true- the Banijans earned 6 points from 6 possible, and find themselves at second in the group table right now- a position that basically doesn't matter at all at this point, considering we're 2 games into a 16 game qualification marathon. But hey, points at the beginning of a campaign are worth the same as those earned at the end, although it never seems like this. You never know when you're going to need those points- so some positives when you take 6 from 6. But let's dig a little deeper...

Matchday 1- visit to The North Polish Union

Banija's trip to The North Polish Union was never going to be easy to start off Quaifying. Gdańsk is a particularly tough place to play, for one. And secondly, with some changes in the team, you didn't know exactly what kind of performance you would get. But the Banijans knew that they would be in for a slog, and for a team that was always going to control a lot of the ball, they had to make sure that things were played at their pace. The North Polish Union are a defensive minded team, although their manager, Kluckhorn, has been vocal about trying to get forward. So the first half was a lot of slow, intentional buildup- nothing really thrusting forward, but much more cautious about conceding. Trying to slowly control the match as it goes onwards, trying to frustrate their hosts into making a mental mistake.

In the second half, however, with the visiting crowd getting more into the contest, the Banijans, who tried to spend much of the first half lulling their opponents to sleep, switch tactics- showing their adaptability for the situation. They wanted three points, they didn't want to settle for one- and really put pressure on The North Polish Union coming out of the gate in the second half. This is a Banijan side that likes to get forward, remember- they aren't going to ever just sit back and allow pressure. However, things didn't go perfectly according to plan- like the Banijans feared, in the 55th minute, the home side had a brilliant counter-attacking opportunity.

Suddenly, it was a 4 on 2 for the North Polish Union. A tremendous opportunity. Everybody rose from their seats as a cutback pass was played to a wide open Heinz Oeming, who struck first time- a tremendous shot that had Biran Jarju's feet, who is our keeper, planted firmly to the ground. He didn't have a chance- but unfortunately, Oeming's shot rattled the crossbar, and then was cleared out by the closest Banijan defender. A tragic moment for the hosts, as that was their only really excellent chance of the game. The Banijans continued to build pressure for themselves, and got creative with their substitutions, until the goal came. It would be Lalo Ceesay, coming off the bench in his competitive debut, who, from a tight angle, finished with precision into the upper corner of the net, near post, from about 10 yards out. An elite shot through traffic- 1-0 to the Banijans, which would be the final score.

"It always feels good to grab a winner!" Said Lalo Ceesay, smiling after the game. "It doesn't get much better than that. Applause to the hosts, though- a tough game, and it's going to be similarly tough coming back to Banija.

Matchday 2- At home against Kandorith

Another tough match, and the home debut of the campaign- at the Istria Olympic Stadium. 80,000 packed the house to see the Kadongo Kamu take on the visiting Kandorith side. Both teams had won their opening match by the same scoreline, 1-0. Kandorith, in particular, kept their cards close to their chest- their manager mostly playing reserves in their 1-0 win on Matchday 1. So their team came out fresh and energized on Matchday 22, trying to swipe points off of the Pot 1 side in this group- which is us. An exciting game was promised, and one was delivered- a 7 goal fest, although only one team would be able to escape with points. A game all about attacking football- everybody getting forward, with and energized Kandorith team focused.

Of course, the Banijan were ready for the challenge. The first half was an insane one, with the teams splitting four goals equally between them. It was Kandorith who would shock everyone with an early goal- just 3 minutes in, Kenji Fujimoto was wheeling away in celebration after a brilliant half-volley effort. A quick 1-0 lead for the visitors, and everybody kind of surprised- the 109th team in the world, Kandorith, were playing well above their ranking. But the Banijans are a team that has seen it all in Qualifying- it wasn't that long ago we missed World Cup 96. This team can't be phased. But who did we turn to in our moment of need?Look towards our stars, and no further than the center of the front line himself, Resnais-Mahama. Bnaija's #9 had himself a brace in the opening half hour, with a header in the 13th minute, and an opposite footed, close range finish in the 30th. But the visitors would convert from the spot in the 42nd minute, to level the score at 2.

Kandorith took the lead for the second time on the day in the 56th minute, when Sora Ito smashed home a rebound that Jarju did not clear convincingly. These attacking teams punish you with devastation for the smallest of mistakes- that's how you know they are an elite team. The visitors were leading by a goal in Banija's Olympic city, with 35 minutes to go. The Banijans knew how to get forward in this one, however, so no changes in the attack. But they needed to fix things in the back. Ensa Janneh, who was having an uncharacteristically rough game at Cb, was off for Liyo Dudujala. Different styles of plyaer- Janneh is the better defender, but Dudujala is better with the ball at this feet. And then, Yob Banda exciting the game, with Yob Yeyeah Aan going into an unfamiliar role at the #10. "Sometimes, you've got to experiment." Trischuk told reporters. "We needed some energy, and he's a veteran who can handle a lot - why not the #10?"

While this surely won't be a permanent switch, when he was called upon on this day, he performed his duty admirably. Showed a lot more creativity than he generally used to do, and as Kandorith dropped back as the time clicked in, Banija really was applying heavy amounts of pressure. A nice piece of buildup play in the box, and a cross, although a little bit overhit. Wentibwa was on the other end however, and he headed it back towards the middle- straight to the feet of Musoke Owole, who was standing there, onside, inside the 6. One step, and boom- fired the ball into the back of the net. 74th minute, and the two teams found themselves back to where they started- in deadlock.

Kandorith sitting back, chasing the point- a reasonable thing to do, as away points against higher ranked teams are very tough to come by. But Banija was chasing a winner. These higher pot teams never want to drop points at home, and the Banijans were desperate- but successful.

We're in the 88th minute here, and the two teams are tied at 3 goals a piece. The Banijans really have taken the initiative here, however- really controlling the game in the last 15 or so minutes. Chasing that winner- Kandorith has proven to be a much stronger side than originally reputed. The home crowd is loud, as you can hear behind me, cheering them on. Banija's right back, Daraja Kanka, is gonna send a looping cross into the box. It's popped by a Kandorith center back, backwards towards the 18. Another headed battle sees it popped up again, this time by Owole. And.. Yeyeh Aan is able to bring it down in the box! Passes it to his left, AND SON-SAKA IS GONNA HIT THIS FIRST TIME.. AND SMASHES INTO THE BACK OF THE NET! PANDEMONIUM AS THE CAPTAIN DELIVERS WHAT COULD BE A LATE, LATE WINNER FOR THE KADONGO KAMU!!!

Another day past, another late winner. 2 games, 2 late winners, 2 wins. "Look, I know we can't always be reliant on the late winner- but that is 6 well-earned points, against tough competition." Trischuk told reporters. "These are high quality teams, who play completely different styles of football- the fact that we were able to beat them back to back showcases our own ability. The going is only gonna get tougher- but I think this team is built for sustainable success."

The next window is easier on paper, with an unranked Shiverian Republics visit in store, before BoF debutants Soviet Kem come to Banija. "I attended a Soviet Kem game during the Baptism of Fire- they've got a good, energetic team- absolutely they can take points off of us." Trischuk told reporters. "We're gonna have to work to stay focused and fresh if we really want to set ourselves up for another 6 point window, and move to the top of this group early on."

While they played the same starting XI in both of their first two games, expect heavy rotation in the next two matchdays, as Trischuk wants to ensure that players stay fresh, and engaged, throughout the entirety of the long slog of World Cup Qualifying.

[Bonusia]

Round 1: Bonusia 0-1 Moladea - L
@La Caravana, Op, Bonport, Bonusia
Round 2: Porotia 2-1 Bonusia - L
@Porotia
Round 3: (Friendly) Bonusia vs Solgavden
@Estadi de la Unificació, Somorrosta, Detrívora, Bonusia
Round 4: Bonusia vs United States of Nova Calania
@Inda' Regareka Bonusian Stadium, Kekla, Keklagara, Bonusia
Round 5: Bears Armed vs Bonusia
@Bears Armed
Round 6: Bonusia vs The Lake Island of Innisfree
@Hepepelioli, Wèep, Pungapu, Bonusia
Round 7: Greater Deutsche vs Bonusia
@Greater Deutsche
Round 8: Bonusia vs Meris
@Tomàtic, Sant Molina, Ralí, Bonusia
Round 9: Zenic vs Bonusia
@Philosophia Colosseum, Manacus, Zenic
Round 10: Moladea vs Bonusia
@Moladea
Round 11: Bonusia vs Porotia
@La Cova del Tigre, Unom, Plana d’Unó, Bonusia
Round 12: (Friendly) Dixie Florida vs Bonusia
@TBD, Dixie Florida
Round 13: United States of Nova Calania vs Bonusia
@Stadion Azteca, Ostrow Krolewski, Odlegla Ziemia, United States of Nova Calania
Round 14: Bonusia vs Bears Armed
@Estadi Casa Tarradellas, Kynetbo, AMK, Bonusia
Round 15: The Lake Island of Innisfree vs Bonusia
@The Lake Island of Innisfree
Round 16: Bonusia vs Greater Deutsche
@Estadi d'Avellanes&Turró, Minga, Tionera, Bonusia
Round 17: Meris vs Bonusia
@Meris
Round 18: Bonusia vs Zenic
@La Blanquinada, Tarraconova, Tarraconensis, Bonusia

THE MATCH REPORTS

Matchday 1	Matchday 2
BONUSIA 0-1 MOLADEA	POROTIA 2-1 BONUSIA
DULL BONUSIA GETS SHOCKED AGAINST MOLADEA	UNACCEPTABLE! POROTIAN SOLDIERS ASSAULT AND THREATEN THE BONUSIAN SQUAD, THE FBF CONDEMS POROTIA
Events: Bonusia: - Moladea: Unknown, 39'	Events: Porotia: A. Eckheijt 28', Z. Mitsaberkah 87' Bonusia: I. Pedra 51' / + I. Pedra 53', T. Gonfaus 69'
SUMMARY: A very complacent Bonusian side wasn't able to get past a Moladea that held it's ground and denied the Bonusians any possibility to get something good out of the game. The first important chance would be for the Bonusians, as Aitor Cea got a shot after getting past a defender. It went too centered and it was no problem for the keeper. The Moladean goal would come in the 39th minute. After a good filtered pass caught the Bonusian defence out guarded, the Moladean striker got a 1v1 against Cloquell, and the Crossan Cat wasn't able to stop him. On the second half, Bonusia had the ball, but the chances got sparse as the team got less and less energetic, like they were contempt with the result. The best chance was a header by Morad that was kept out of the goal by a meritory save of the Moladean keeper. In the end, the Moladeans maintained their gameplan and it worked for them. A 0-1 result that reminds Bonusia ¡where they stand right now. If they want to fight for Qualification, they will certainly need to intensify their training, that's for sure.	SUMMARY: The Porotian squad, from a nation ruled by an autocratic government, was formed in it's entirety of footballer members of the Porotian military. They superior physical performance and their violent game, more often than not ignored by the referee, made the Porotians have the hang of the game. Their superiority in the pitch was materialized into the 1-0 for Porotia by means of the striker and infantry troop Artyem Eckheijt. However, thanks to a good speach by Boquete and a very enraged Pedra, Bonusia equalized on the 51st minute, with the striker getting through the Porotian defense basically by pushing rivals away. Joy only lasted for so long, though, as after the game was restarted, 1st sargent Hekki Itzik grabbed Pedra and broke his arm mid-game, leaving him injured. Strangely, the referee only gave Itzik a warning. After that, Gonfaus also was injured, leaving the Black Star with two important casualties. Despite this, the team held it's ground, holding out in that hellhole more out of sheer willpower than by means of any actually thought out strategy. Until the 87th minute, that is, when Ferrer inexplicably let a goal through to give the Porotians the win. "They said they were bombing my dear island, and everything else... I'm sorry..." she claimed in confidence to our corresponsal after the match was over, with tears in her eyes.

... - Sense you make not!!! Ramon, most IDIOTIC are your thoughts! No matter the soldier stuff, Bonusia would've lost!

- BOLLOCKS! The Porotians BROKE Pedra's arm! This cannot be tolerated, the Federation has to press harder!

- Eh, for what?! Porotia is known by everyone, yet and it was ACCEPTED by the WCC! They will now sanction them for doing what they do always, do you think?! Delusional, that is!

- The Federation needs to do something anyways, Bonusia was ROBBED!

- Cares who? Lost anyway they would've, with like this of a level! That's what it seems; the EXCUSES are being looked up by you!

- What do you mean excuses?! They threatened us with NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION!

- Would'nt we want them against us, then! Do you think accusign them will solve anything? I-

- ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELF? I CAN'T-

- YES I SAY I-

- BELIEVE THAT YOU-

- IT! IN THE FAIRYTA-

- Mayb-

- WANT TO LET THE-

- -TALE WORLD MIGHT-...

*While Ramon Berenguer and Berenguer Ramon argue, Salvador tries to finish the programme.*

- Well, guys... guys!... As you can see, Ramon and Berenguer can't still resolve their differences. Meanwhile, we'll sadly have to end the programme here. Thanks a lot for your attention, and good night!

As both of the talkative guests kept on going their heated debate, shouting and stepping over each other; Calla Callat, who was known as "the one that never speaks", remained silent, observant. How could they spit such stupid commentary without an ounce of shame was shocking to him. Because he, in a way, was pretty much the opposite of them. No matter how trivial, he needed to be sure of something before saying it. And, believe it or not, he was not sure about many things. In fact, he was not sure about anything. Of course, a person like him ended up being walked over by the confident ignorants...

- Wow, it's incredible that these two are still fighting. They are like the Zip and the Zap, aren't they, Calla?

- ...Ye-

- Should we do something to stop them?

- ...We-

- Meh, I don't care either. I got a date tonight Calla, you know? Yeah, that new intern. I know it's not right but she's just too hot to resist. I shouldn't have told you this, as this info would probably get me in some trouble be it get to the public, but I'm confident that you won't tell anyone. Am I right?

- Wha-

- Yeah, that's what I thought. Good night, have fun!

And thus Salvador left the plato, his step calm but firm and his chin pointing upwards, as a man with confidence would do. And Calla was left in the TV Set alone, with the two "experts" still shouting each other. He tried to remain calm, but this whole situation angered him. "What did he mean with that 'I'm confident that you won't tell anyone.'? Has he really forgotten that I can speak? What is wrong with him? But even then, it's true that I haven't spoken like, at all at work... Well, but that's his fault! Yeah, his fault and also that of Ramon and Berenguer, always talking even when they don't know what they are saying!... Well, but why is it that I cannot find it in me to speak up? Why am I like this?..."

About this and many other things, Calla wondered as he returned to his home. A good Friday for most, that area of Kynetbo at that time of the night was bustling with life. The bars were loud, full of youngster students grabbing a drink and workers celebrating the end of yet another work week. The restaurants were full, and the streets were crowded with happiness and excitement. Sadly, it was not his day to share such joy, really. Instead, he just silently took the Metro, and sat quietly to await his stop. On the Metro, things were more diverse. One could see some happy people also going out for the night, about to explode with excitement, but also there were exhausted, broken and just sad people. Most were just indifferent, gazing at their cells, perhaps out of boredom, tiredness or maybe just to avoid facing the real world. If our Calla had to choose, he would most likely put himself in the second group that night. He just didn't felt right. He remembered, back in his college days, he wanted to be a journalist to investigate, to unconver, and when the time was right, to call out injustice, to let the people know what's going on in the world. He had such ambition... And for what? To now be in a stupid sports programme full of fake experts and a dumbass presenter, where he couldn't even speak? Well, of course he wasn't the most talkative, but it really felt like he could say nothing at all...

Between one thought and the next, our Calla finally got home. He lived with his husband, Ignasi, in a modest suburban house which they had almost finished paying already, thanks to Calla's good salary from TV. His husband, Ignasi, although he was a butcher by family tradition, was currently unemployed and acting as a home-master. He welcomed Calla in his usual frenzy and cheerfulness.

- Hii honeeey. *Muuac*! How have you been? Has work been alright?

- Hi, babe. Well, we go.

- Oh my, I saw the programme, those two coworkers of yours won't give you a brake eh? Oh my god, they must be imbeciles! Like that Canela woman I told you about, remember? It's Roser's sister. But not Roser from the gym, Roser from the barbershop.

- Oh, yes.

- Well, so I was at the greengrocer, and I was searching for the good peppers, you know? Because without good peppers that sauce I make, I tell you it's not the same. And there were like 5-ish good peppers left. And then I find Ot, and you know we chit-chatted a bit, the usual, apparently he's taking his wife to Augústia for a vacation. Oh, so romantic! We should go sometime. But well, we say goodbye and I look and, you won't believe it, there was that bitch of Canela, with all the peppers I saw earlier. And she had the AUDACITY to come and greet me. "Hii, Ignasi. Yes these peppers will go great in my brochettes, hihi". I swear she saw me look at them! Like, girl, everyone knows you can't even cook.

- Wow, what a shame.

Their relationship was perfectly balanced. Ignasi supplemented perfectly Calla's aversion to long sentences. But unlike his imbecile coworkers, Ignasi was one of the few people who didn't get impatient and actually listened to what he said, no matter how little that was. That's why he loved him to bits, even though that night he was not in the mood to show it too much.

- Honey, are you feeling well? You barely touched your escudella. Are you feeling sick, mayhaps? Do you want some painkillers? I think we got some in the drawer.

- I'm fine, Nasi. Just tired from work.

- Oooh, I get it babe. Maybe you should quit that job, they don't value you! Didn't you want to become an investigative journalist? I think you should try to pursue that path! I can go back to the butcher shop if needed, you know that, and we have some good savings to get by for a while.

- I don't know...

He did know, in fact. Of course he needed to leave, he just needed to know how. That talkshow was not the place for him at all. It was full of self-centered "visionaries" and made almost exclusively for empty-minded baboons who did not have any other alicient in life than the damn ball rolling around. In fact, for more that he wondered, Calla could not tell on his life how he ended up as a regular guest in such a shitshow. He gave it a thought, and told Ignasi the next morning.

- I need to leave.

- Of course, it was evident. I don't think you could've remained sane there. I saw it, that job was taking away your hope and your ambition, and you slowly were becoming a shell of yourself. I'm glad you decided to change the situation. But what are you planning exactly?

- I don't know. Just go with the flow, I guess. Leave for a bit and see what I find.

- If you want to do that, I will support you until the last consequences. We'll make sure to get everything ready this following week so you can go out safely. But make sure to stay safe and out of trouble, okay? And don't fool around with other men!

- I wouldn't, babe. Only got eyes for you.

And so, after everything was set, Calla took his bag and got off to the adventure. It wouldn't be an vacation, but a trip to try and find a job suited for him, look for clues, investigate, uncover, the things he wanted to actually dedicate his life to.

- Okay, you got everything? We'll keep in contact, okay? And if you need ANYTHING, call me without any hesitation okay?

- Same thing. If anything happens, I'll return. I love you,

-... I love you too.

Al bosc verge de Tionera,
Viu una bèstia de manera.
És grossa, lletja i molt peluda,
a tota Minga coneguda.
Molts noms té, un sona pertot:
És un monstre, el Tabalot.
Hom al bosc està ben atent,
Doncs no és una bèstia corrent.
No menja plantes ni animals,
ans terrícoles i llimans.

In Tionera's virgin forest,
there was one hell of a beast.
It's big, ugly and really hairy,
known all across Minga.
A lot of names it's got, but one's heard everywhere:
It's a monster, the Tabalot.
People on the forest are wary,
since it's not an ordinary beast.
It doesn't eat plants nor animals,
but earthlings and llimanians.

[Saltstead]

---

The Beet

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The Beet Opinion: It’s time to start firing Robert-Jan van Daal continuously
It’s clear the head coach needs a little more motivation and what more motivation can you get than being on fire!

A visual representation of our modest proposal

Ashwell — Let’s start by being honest: we’re already two games in to the World Cup 100 qualification campaign, but we haven’t a clue what the results are. For all we at the most journalistically integrous news outlet of all time know, we could have won both our matches or we could have lost both of them or we could have drawn both of them or any combination thereof. We could be at the top of the group or at the bottom or anywhere in between.

None of this matters.

We simply believe that Saltstead’s head coach isn’t under under enough pressure. He is too comfortable. Sure, this may be the only World Cup qualification campaign he ever coaches—or the only international tournament campaign of any kind, for that matter—, but we believe these stakes are not severe enough. Therefore, we propose as a means of motivation that we fire Robert-Jan van Daal.

Continuously.

“Now,” long-time readers of the The Beet may wonder, “surely this is harsh. Nothing Mr Van Daal could have done could merit being sacked [as we here at The Beet have recently discovered the word “fire” can mean] or, worse yet, engulfed in flames.”

Sure, you may have a point. Even if Saltstead lost both of their first two games 12–0, it would be a little harsh to turn someone into kindling for that. Nevertheless, we don’t care. It’s not about whether this is harsh or not: we just want to increase the pressure.

“Okay, but how do you plan to do this continuously? No matter how you define ‘fire’, you are talking about a discrete action. That is, an action that is not capable of being continuous.”

And if you’re asking this, you clearly you haven’t read enough of our esteemed publication to understand this. Robert-Jan van Daal will be set on fire immediately after the publication of this article and will continue to be on fire until we decide to stop firing Robert-Jan van Daal, in which case, Van Daal will be extinguished and will no longer be on fire.

“But you do know that this will kill him, right?”

Yes, the last time we proposed to fire a Saltstead head coach continuously, we were informed that literally setting them on fire would have the unfortunate side effect render them deceased. You will also remember that we modified our proposal to prevent this unfortunate happenstance. We won’t literally set Robert-Jan van Daal on fire, but rather hire wizards from the Dreamed Realm to make it look and feel like Robert-Jan van Daal is on fire without him actually being on fire and would do this continuously until either we decide to stop firing Van Daal or we run out of money.

“But surely if you’re using those totally inflated yen you were talking about when you proposed to fire Tlanx-Nulzk Hal continuously, you’ll run out of money instantaneously.”

Oh, look at you, Mr/Ms/Mx Smarty Pants. You actually went back and read the source material. We set those fat stacks on fire years ago to heat our office when the power went out. We may have had to rebuild our office after if burnt down as a result, but the point is that we have zero totally inflated yen to our names and will use actual currency with actual value to compensate these wizards. Preferably a currency that will hold its value for more than ten seconds.

“Okay, but can you even find a wizard who will agree to do this?”

Listen, we can’t all think as far ahead as you can. Nevertheless, we are confident that we can find a wizard who will agree to accept our actually-valuable currency in exchange for a bit of completely harmless fun.

“Are you sure?”

Okay, maybe not. You might win this round after all, Robert-Jan.

For now… —TB

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Also on The Beet

• Video: Watch the Saltstead national team learn how to kick a football for the first time
• Politics: Ashwell politicians desperately try to erasure their signatures from Anaian documents
• Lifestyle: Cooking is simple! Three fun, classic recipes you can try at home with your children

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★
The Royal Saltsteadish Football Association
Royal House of Sport, Ashwell

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Saltstead v Zwangzug
World Cup 100 qualification matchday 3
Park der Fründens, Cherrygrove, Cheruskerland
and
Brusselstein v Saltstead
World Cup 100 qualification matchday 4
Unknown Stadium, Unknown City, Brusselstein

Starting line-up (5–4–1): Ilsard Penn; Wouter Håusigen · Mattheus Swart · Gundahar Baħmeyer · Fleur Thomassen; Karel Mätjassen · Elisa Frijhåuder · Max Edwards · Brooke Chambers · Stepħania Vesħandler; Anastacia Nicol
Substitute bench: Bärnharde van den Marken · Reinhard Löwens; Amalgar Calvert · Evie Moore · Robert Gordon · Claudia Miħälssen · Åubert Hanrats; Joxef Smid · Alexänder Wilheumssen · Amalia Oliver · Love Harman · Henriħ Wayner · George Oliver; Victorijn Såutwelle · Alexa Grönmarħ

---

[Kimi-Suomi]

Huuhkajat on valmiina hyökkäämään! Kimi-Suomi, the Rogue Kingdom dominated by ice and snow, was ready for another campaign of Jalkapallon MM-Karsinnat...but this time, things were feeling good around in this special corner of Anaia. That bronze medal at the last Cup of Harmony still burned in the mind, an inspiration that many hoped would help spur this team towards a deep campaign, but there was also a piece of World Cup history in the hands of Esko Laaksonen himself. While the CAFA just gone was disappointing overall, it did bring a surprise as beating Nova Calania gave us possession of THE Lineal Unofficial World Championship Belt, a belt whose lineage goes back to the very first WC game. Holding this physical link to the past is an honour for this team, only the 2nd time in our history we hold one of these belts, but being the ones to hold THE belt entering THE World Cup is a huge responsibility. Group 17 is tasked with carrying this Belt to the dance itself. Can we do it?

Pesä was READY for the opening night of this group, and up first would be the debuting Veleste - one of the many Tulikaste teams entering the Satavuotisjuhlatanssi. You never know what you are going to get from the opening game, especially considering the occasion at hand across all 30 Groups in this process, but the Battle for Top 2 had to start somewhere, and so, here we were at home. It started as quick as a flash, with the visitors taking the lead only for Ebba Persson to equalise about 3 minutes later, so you could understand if the atmosphere was a bit more nervous for a while after that. But as it turned out, the fans here in Kimi Kaupunki had nothing to worry about as Enni Pajari scored the 2nd in the 48th and Eero Wirkkala headed home the 3rd in the 87th to seal the opening win.

Opening road game time now, this time at the debuting Anonyymimuna playing in their first ever international fixture. You always were nervous when taking on your road games, especially against URs that could produce anything under the damn sun...and that seemed to be the pattern at play when they took the lead in the 20th and took the lead into the break. But after that, we came out more like ourselves and never looked back as a brace from Jason Jenner-Pokka in the 50th and 55th minutes would end up being what we needed to take the win. It certainly wasn't easy, but we got it done in the end.

Two from two is certainly the way the Huuhkajat wants to go on, but we still have a long way to go. A Bye on MD3 allows us a quick respite before we head back to Pesä for a crutial clash with the unbeaten Bhumi Matawisin Imperiumi. They may be ranked #208 but considering the belt we hold, we aren't taking any chances.

Kannamme vyötä, kunnes jumalat kieltävät sen.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

---

SCHEDULE/AJOITTAA (Group 17)
MD1: vs Veleste (300) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki W 3-1
MD2: @Anonyymimuna [Anonymegg] (UR) W 2-1
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MD3: BYE
MD4: vs Bhumi Matawisin Imperiumi [Bhumi Matawis Empire] (208) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
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MD5: @Suur-Portugaliza [Greater Portugaliza] (381)
MD6: vs Sel Appa (147) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
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MD7: @Etelä-Kerala [South Kerala] (307)
MD8: vs Sarzoninen [Sarzonia] (36) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
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MD9: @Aleirave (28) - Reko'uho Fekelu Stadium, New Alikonor
MD10: @Veleste (300)
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MD11: vs Anonyymimuna [Anonymegg] (UR) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
MD12: BYE
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MD13: @Bhumi Matawisin Imperiumi [Bhumi Matawis Empire] (208) - Tanjung Kalapa Stadium, Labuanjaya
MD14: vs Suur-Portugaliza [Greater Portugaliza] (381) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
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MD15: @Sel Appa (147)
MD16: vs Etelä-Kerala [South Kerala] (307) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
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MD17: @Sarzoninen [Sarzonia] (36)
MD18: vs Aleirave (28) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki

[Qusmo]

Letters to the Editor: Change needed for Qusmo

I never want to see a fellow person out of a job. No matter how high-profile or highly-compensated they are, it’s still such a personal tragedy. There is always uncertainty, always anxiety, always doubt about one’s very self, no matter who they are. Luckily, I’m not calling for anyone to go on the unemployment line. I’m simply suggesting that one particular person ought to go back to having just one job.

Perhaps it’s premature to call for a manager to be sacked after only seven matches in charge. Perhaps, though, it’s premature to hire a manager whose only real claim to fame is as a player, nearly twenty cycles ago. Perhaps it’s premature to appoint a manager who has only had one coaching job of any kind, none for any national team, and who only managed to convert three seasons in charge of the biggest club in their home nation into zero league titles. Perhaps it’s just the right time to relieve a manager whose squad is completely melting down right before our very eyes, during the most momentous Qualifying campaign our national team has ever faced. Perhaps it’s the right time to let go of a manager who followed a home loss against a nation ranked three hundred seventh with the worst loss in the long, and previously proud, history of our national team. Perhaps it’s the right time to sack a manager whose team has conceded seven consecutive goals without a reply. Perhaps it’s the right time to fire a manager who has us mired in last place of a Qualifying group where a majority of teams are making their debuts this cycle and two have only played a single match thus far. Perhaps it’s well past time to say goodbye to a manager whose brazen nepotism has been as corrosive as it has been blatant.

Coercia is led by a decorated military general. Shizuna Rem Misurugi is led by a princess worshipped by her people as divine. Oscioru is led by a man who beat Qusmo in the very most recent cycle of World Cup Qualifying. Carpathia and Ruthenia is led by one of Qusmo’s greatest-ever managers, who won three international trophies with three different teams and is still the only manager to lead a Qusma team to a Rushmori or Multiversal trophy. Ko-oren is led by a two-time World Cup Committee president who had previously led his country to a World Cup semifinal and set the infrastructure in place for the nation to win the World Cup entirely. For an utterly historic World Cup cycle, in which Qusmo would have to qualify from by far the biggest Qualifying field the tournament has ever seen to avoid becoming the first World Cup host nation ever to miss out on the finals, Fuzpon Qusma chose to hire a manager whose experience consists of buying galacticos for the richest club in Qusmo and then not winning the league with them.

If that weren’t enough, this manager isn’t even dedicated enough to Qusmo to accept it as their only job. They’re still in charge of a club team — the same club they’ve been affiliated with their entire life, as a player long ago and as a manager now. It’s clear to see which of their two jobs is their priority. Look at their national team rosters: nine Qastyr players for the Copa Rushmori. Seven for World Cup Qualifying, plus three which Qastyr just sold for big money on the back of those Copa Rushmori debuts, in order to fund the purchases of four separate Qastyr players from abroad who just so happened to make the national team roster after being surprisingly left out during the Copa. Conversely, only one player was called up from the team which has actually managed to win two out of the three seasons of the League of the Single Sun that have been contested thus far.

I do not want to see anyone out of a job. But I do not want to see Qusmo humiliated as it is being now. If Fuzpon Qusma needs any ideas, they could hire a Qusma manager. They could hire a manager with intimate knowledge of their nation’s domestic league. They could hire a manager who has cultivated a roster entirely full of Qusma-eligible players. They could hire a manager who has been so successful with that roster that they have won the league twice out of three times. They could hire a manager who has already won an international trophy for a Qusma team, who has already represented the Qusma national team as a player, who has had experience both in Qusmo and abroad, who has already seen the game as a player, businessperson, sponsor, club owner, league executive, and championship-winning manager.

But first, Fuzpon Qusma must sack Ilinx-Kepex Zev.

Ibilx-Irtix Ono
Founder of Pug Xily’a
Chief executive officer of uni·q
Manager of KF Atlov
Reigning champion of Qusma club football
Two-time and current grand champion of Federation of the Single Sun

[Hamborn]

[MD3 And 4

After a long briefing, the coach decide to keep the same team then the last matches.:



Hamborn need to win against Siovanja and Teusland at Lico National Stadium and against Darmen at Green Ensign Arena.

This team is confident and they can win against these two KBP+ top 100. The coach said "Everything can happen for these matches." If Hamborn win these 2 matches they have a chance to pass first.

Note : wrong template,replace Marcus Surli is suspended by Hamborn so at is place is Divon Lio.

[Langenia]

Noticias: Deportes Los Azules Endure Slow Start to World Cup Qualification Campaign Costa "not worried" by slow start, sees improvement in defense from last cycle The first two World Cup qualification games of manager Adrian Costa's tenure showed moments of promise, but unfortunately they also raised early concerns about his radical changes to the Langenian style of play. Los Azules would suffer a 2-1 away defeat to Sajnur in their first match, and then be unable to convert any chances in a 0-0 draw at home against Ranoria. As a result, they sit in the bottom half of Group 8 to start the campaign, having gained only one of six available points. Fans of the team are worried given the Langenia's next two opponents are ranked even higher. At Sajnur, Langenia would have a promising first half as they the team's stout defense would refuse to give any space to an opponent who plays an aggressive, high-pressing form of attacking football. Costa's 4-4-2 formation would give way to a solid 5-4-1 with each man man-marking his positional counterpart. When they did get the ball, Los Azules would initiate fast breaks with a ball-playing center-back sending the ball out to midfield, where central midfielder Rafael Semprun would distribute while protected from the high-press by his partner Alexis Jimenez. The Langenian counter-press would also allow the opportunity for counterattacks to arise quite frequently, with Semprun often sending the ball in quick through passes to striker Ricardo Antonio. Antonio, in turn, would the ball either back to Oscar Galindo, playing in a second striker role, or his teammates on the wings in Raul Guzman or Samuel Esteban. In the 42nd minute, the Langenians would break the deadlock in one of the quick counterattacks with Semprun sending the ball to Antonio for him to play a one-two with Esteban. Esteban would play a through ball to Guzman running along on the other wing for him to convert the chance and score Langenia's first goal of the qualifiers. Despite the promising first half start, the Langenians would collapse in the second half in the face of the Sajnur high press, being pushed to the point of exhaustion given the amount of running required to defend in the face of the opponent's quick passes and interceptions. As a result, they would make two critical mistakes that both resulted in penalties for Sajnur. The first, a handball given away by midfielder Alexis Jimenez during a set piece in the 65th minute, would be clinically converted by forward Violet Valera. The second, a dangerous tackle by defender Juan Pablo during a breakaway just inside the Langenian box on Erin Taranov, would also be put away by Valera to condemn the Langenians to their first loss of the campaign. Nonetheless, the lack of goals from open play allowed a positive note to be sounded despite the defeat. There was not much interesting about the affair against Ranoria during the game at the Diego Talaman Stadium in Aragon, Langenia's capital. Langenia's attack, which scored so many goals last campaign (despite being hobbled by a weak defense) looked toothless in the face of an opponent that defended the same way the Langenians now did: everyone concentrated in the box, allowing no space for the opposition to score. Antonio, Galindo, Guzman, and Esteban would all have shots saved or hit the post, but none was able to clinically be converted. Unfortunately, it now looks like this cycle Los Azules may have the inverse of the problem that they did last international cycle. Previously, the attack would be highly effective scoring large numbers of goals for fun, but the defense, playing in a high line up the pitch, would be quick to give away leads and allow breakaways to give opposing teams easy chances. Now, the defense seems world class, but the attack doesn't function the same way it previously did, struggling to clinically put away opportunities to put the Langenians on the scoresheet. It remains to be seen how Los Azules respond to the slow start and whether Costa's reimagined identity of the Langenian national team as a defensive machine will change things for the better. Upcoming Matches Vetrahjart vs Langenia (away) Langenia vs The Martin Independent Republic (home)

[Hanalia]

The Titanic story of an unsinkable vessel succumbing to the inevitable fate after being handed that moniker isn't quite apt for the HOT-DAMN Hanalia match. In that story HOT-DAMN is most certainly the large pot 1 iceberg of group 28 but Hanalia is a smaller new vessel that got a B- in its fire test but was now facing the big berg. The analogy further collapses considering HOT-DAMN have the nickname "beer leaguers" which invites images of a muddy park pitch rather than an imposing hunk of ice. Beers are better chilled anyway so we're sticking with it.

The goals may have come later on but the damage beneath the water line was done early. The beer leaguers came out of the blocks firing. Forget football shirts, shorts and socks, their performance was worth of a fancy three piece suit from a finance board room such was the business like fashion of their play. Not a within a handful of minutes from kick off the hosts were 1-0 ahead. While the fans went a bit mad with the goal, the on pitch celebration was much more muted, reinforcing the board room front this team were putting on.

It took until after the first 15 minutes before Hanalia had any serious possession but struggled to get the ball up the field with any sort of purpose in attack. The forwards looked panicked on the occasions they did get the ball sending in the general direction of the net rather than looking for a strike on target. The Hanalian ship leaked on more water just before half time as the iceberg doubled its lead through Cherry, serving to focus minds in the dressing room if they were to salvage anything from this match.

The second half was much more encouraging for Monroe and his teammates. Reyes, Nelson and Lin had managed to collectively decide the net was a better target than the stands of the Brewery Stadium behind. The shots may have been headed for the correct port but 'Big Dash' was coastguard in chief keeping the ball from going past. Cherry went about taking a second professionally, sinking Hanalian hopes below the icy waters in the 72nd minute to go 3-0 up.

The lifeboats were cut loose as Hanalia claimed a consolation goal by way of Daniel Lin at 78'. Not simply satisfied with putting the ball between the posts he placed a nutmeg between Dash's legs. It could easily have turned the Brewery faithful hostile but, with the outcome of the match in no doubt at this stage and Dash, ordinarily so successful and a firm fan favourite, being humbled in such a way by the sprightly youngster, they saw it for what it was worth. Cries of "WHEEEY" from both sets of fans rang out.

The Hanalian fans had travelled in significant enough numbers with this easily being the most accessible of the away matches staying within Anaia. Fewer are expected to make the far flung trip to Zwangzug but have to look forward to hosting Vaishnavaria before then. It's another tricky match up but the crowd at the National Stadium in Lei will be hoping that they can better the last 0-0 result there against Astograth. Not the best start to the first world cup qualifying campaign but there's a long distance to the destination on this one.

Schedule
MD1 v Astograth      D 0-0   MD7  BYE                      MD13 v Zwangzug
MD2 @ HOT-DAMN       L 3-1   MD8  v Olastor                MD14 @ Brusselstein
MD3 v Vaishnavaria           MD9  @ Chemicala              MD15 v Saltstead
MD4 @ Zwangzug               MD10 @ Astograth              MD16 BYE
MD5 v Brusselstein           MD11 v HOT-DAMN               MD17 @ Olastor
MD6 @ Saltstead              MD12 @ Vaishnavaria           MD18 v Chemicala

[Vdara]

Doing Goals!

[Dhemixia]

---

Dhemix

The borough of Dhemix has a lot to talk about in terms of history.

As the first one to be "officially recognized" as a borough (or whatever that means in bureaucratic jargon), it's only fitting that it also was where Columbus began. To answer the question that I'm sure you already have, yes, Dhemix is the namesake for the nation of Dhemixia. You're probably now asking where the word "Dhemix" exactly came from, and that question has less of a straightforward answer.

In the days long before Columbus or even Dhemixia existed, nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes wandered the area and rainforest surrounding what is now the city of Columbus. Having, you know, not discovered agriculture yet, a lot of them stayed that way for a long time, legend has it that some are even still around wandering the rainforest to this day. Eventually, one tribe emerged with the newfound knowledge of how to plant crops, and they just so happened to be close to the river: the Dhemix tribe. Now, we don't know where that instance of the word Dhemix came from, some theories say it means "river" in their ancestral language, others say "city", and some absolute sickos say "snake", but what we do know is that the Dhemix tribe is the furthest back the word Dhemix goes. Having then figured out that settling down was more optimal and collectivizing the agriculture for the whole village tended to leave more people alive through times of drought and famine for one field, the Dhemix tribe had to pick a location for their new town. They also thought it'd be wise to put the decision-making authorities right in the center of the people, to act as one of the first "governments", so to speak. Wanna guess where they settled?

As anyone with at least one functioning synapse connection could have probably deduced, yes, the Dhemix tribe settled their city in what is now the borough of Dhemix. Coincidence, huh? That small tribal government with a council of elders inside a quaint little town, over the course of centuries and centuries, evolved into a government more like the ones we see today, and that small town evolved into what became the early stages of Columbus being settled. Deciding that then was a better time than ever to become a country, they had to figure out what to call it. Realizing that a name with as good utility on a triple word score as "Dhemix" has shouldn't just go to waste when you rename the city, they did the trendy thing at the time and just slapped an "-ia" onto the end of something that vaguely represents the country. That's why it's named Dhemixia, and not something remarkably stupid like "Cantwinaknockoutgameland".

Most if not all of the government is still right there in Dhemix, and it's part of the reason why Columbus is even as big as it is right now. As touched on in the prologue, the Dhemix version of Columbus was bleeding population fast due to upstart, young explorers just itching to settle a city and become famous. With not many people to actually work in the government left, it became desperate to claw some population back, and needed to implement a solution right then and there. One piece of tax legislation that ended up aging like century-old milk later, and Columbus is now 5x larger with literally everyone staying where they were in the first place. Love it or hate it, this is the peak form of bureaucracy.

In addition to being the first borough to even exist and having the government, Dhemix also has a lot more fun stuff, like two colleges and a very miserable domestic soccer team. Multiverciale Columbus, or Multi/Multi Columbus for short, is a mainstay of The Outbox League. The story as to why they're named Multiverciale instead of Multiversal essentially comes down to the founder getting so drunk that he forgot what language he was speaking and just wrote that down. As a founding member and one of the first four Dhemixian sides in the league, their history is about all they've got going for themselves. As of the third season, they've finished above a .500 W-L once (finished second by 4 points to a team to be named later), and have won three cup games, never even touching a final. IFCF's not even worth talking about with Multi either, because the Dhemixian sides are usually DOA when it comes time for international play. As the supposed "pride of Dhemixia", there's practically nothing to be proud of anymore as a Multi fan.

Don't fret, Dhemix also does have two colleges, but neither of them matters unfortunately. The University of Columbus-Metropolitan is about the least relevant UC school in Columbus, and Dhemix State is a glorified party school that just so happens to have professors on the payroll.

If Dhemix as a borough doesn't pretty much sum up the entire nation of Dhemixia, I don't know what does.

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: I'm aware that Diana Gray is #16. Sundgren at #13 and Aldra at #19 are arriving next cutoff, as are the relevant Groups of Six.

Group of Six Twenty-Nine meeting (LXXXIII) --- SAINT ELEANOR 1-3 Aphrilia
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], all other players [by convention]
Location: the team hotel; somewhere I somehow still need to talk to Squorn about, SRS

MAJOR MATCH EVENTS: Coombe 23; Villa 53, Rosberg 69, Elliot 82. No red cards or injurise


LESSONS LEARNED: "Precious few" (~ Matsuda). [OOC note that I'll finish this after cutoff since hubby's finally cooked dinner and I've been busy.]


RECOMMENDATIONS: [see above, will do this later]


MOVING FORWARD: Lydia, as our new captain, will be taking notes for MD1 of WCQ100 - and what a qualifying tournament it promises to be. As always, SEFA will be organising a major press conference tomorrow afternoon at which I'll summarise the notes made in this meeting there.

~GB

Diana Gray: "I don't have a problem with the football kits"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers tries to get to the core of what makes the team's new defender hardcore
Originally published on Wednesday 18th January 2017

As far as Diana Gray is concerned, football may as well be the easiest thing in the world. "It is much, much easier than being an entrepreneur who has your name plastered on your own storefront. Imagine the pressure that must come with that. It's not as easy as running around and trying to spot the ball."

Andrew Gray's name blares over the Torch burger restaurant on the outskirts of Oaktree - it's the restaurant's practice to advertise the names of its franchisees on its storefronts - affixed to an industrial estate as the Army's headquarter district merges into her adoptive district. "I didn't adopt Parkside. I still live in the house where I grew up and take the bus to the stadium. I do ask Arielle [Richardson] to take me to the training ground when I need it, though, although I hate her taste in Radio 2" - SESB's classical music station - "and would much rather listen to the pop on Radio 1 instead." However, neither her penchant for getting into reasoned arguments nor her love of music shined through at school. "I was definitely more of a chemistry girlie. Don't ask me how or why; I just got my head around it better than anything else, except maybe the maths. I didn't harbour any ambition of continuing in that line of work, however, so I did try to do well at sports, too." (More on that later.)

While some players are completely different on and off the field, Gray is a pragmatist in all regards. "In my personal life, I am definitely the kind of person to wear all-black, which has confused exactly three people. I don't own any other colour in large part because I worked out that I could just put everything in the same wash that way. If I remember correctly, I own a couple of pantsuits, a couple of skirt suits, more... erm... lingerie than I can think of, lots of shirts, a couple of not-so-serious skirts, a pair of denim shorts - exactly one pair - multiple pairs of jeans, a few trainers, a few boots, a pair of brogues, two pairs of flats, three pairs of heels, two scrunchies. Thanks, Esther. Almost a dozen pairs of tights, because I'm a lady in Saint Eleanor and the temperature in the long run is about as wild as you'd expect and some of them look cute. I don't have a problem with the football kits, though." Does she have any thoughts on the fact that Eleanorian woman are far more wont to talk about their tastes in fashion than the men? "That's a difference in degree. Ladies, other than me, will wear more colour and be more imaginative in a single outfit than most men will be in a year."

Given her Oaktree CS team's dismal performance in 2007's Charles Trump Shield - "we lost on penalties to New St Paul, who weren't even that good themselves, and I didn't even do anything of note" - it was left to a completely different venue for her to be headhunted by Occidental Olympic. "I know you said I'm not one to cheerlead when it's not necessary, but my dad thought I had to in order to widen my sporting horizons a bit, so I was with the [Oaktree] Freedom Beacons. The [Parkside] Foresters aren't of much interest to Olympic's scouts as many of the girls there are already in contention, so one of their poor saps spotted me at the following year's Nationals - it was on the second day - seemed impressed by my flexibility, came up to me, and asked if I would at all be willing to join. I told him that I got a splinter right through my hand after taking it pretty hard there, which I actually did, and he seemed impressed enough to sign me. I also dabbled in recreational baseball; it's nowhere near as advanced as Chromatika and I was much better at throwing it than hitting it, although my overriding memory of that was when I got struck on the bum with the ball a couple of inches off my spine. I almost got paralysed! Although you could say that about the cheer, as well."

(I'll discuss Gray's three greatest games in this space hopefully this weekend, if not early next week, once I get a bit more time. Some bullshitting may be required, though, given the delta between my last scorinated league season and 2017.)

Most Eleanorians love their guns, but Gray loves them more than most. "If memory serves, someone on cica.da got banned after they used an image of me pointing a pistol to the camera so they could counter-troll some idiot, but I might be wrong. I still have that, a shotgun, a machine gun - you can tell I'm very methodical with this sort of counting. I'm the proud owner of a grenade launcher! It's perfectly legal! I've never used it, though, and I think I'd go to jail for fourteen years if I did." (The minimum sentence for manslaughter in Saint Eleanor is fourteen years' imprisonment.) Who else does she bond with on the team? "Arielle is pretty good, but I'm only pretty friendly with her, despite being one of her centre-backs. I think I would have liked Bridget Coombe, blessed be her name. Lydia Vickers is definitely one of the better ones and I'd like to play alongside her - I could never supplant her. Wunderbar [Kichirō Matsuda] is my fellow loveable eccentric, Ian Marks is the kind of person I'd never go up against anywhere other than the football pitch, and I'll need to hit up everyone else in due course. I almost forgot to mention Isabella Bright - she's playing for Army [and Navy] and she likes guns almost as much as I do. But don't we all?"

You may be tempted to write off Diana Gray as a bit of a nutjob, but there is no need to do this in the Eleanorian context, where her passion for self-expression, self-determination, and football played well shines through. When she gets called up - and the direction of the team is very much one of calling up the reserves when necessary - there is not a doubt that she would do a fine job as a player, although she might well be that much better as a person.

[Gyaromia]

365ARENA
The Best Place in Gyaromia for All Things Sports.

Gyaromian Efforts in MD1 & MD2 Review

Author: Krištof Horváth
Date: 26/10/2025

As the qualifications for the 100th World Cup kicks off, among many countries competing for a spot in the grand tournament, is exactly 100th ranked Gyaromia. Coming off an unsuccessful qualification campaign for the last tournament, they've yet to taste WC football, at all.

But, as Tamás Hegedüs is still the coach of the team, change is promised as the past tactical systems haven't worked out so much. Atleast, a new formation and a rotated defense gives chances to otherwise overlooked players, and we've yet to see how that plays out.

Now, as the first two matchdays are concerned, it's a very, and I mean very mixed bag. A loss to Valanora was expected, considering they were 2nd in, well, the entire multiverse for that matter. Still, it was a bit disappointing to start the campaign off with a loss, especially for Hegedüs, who has concerns and criticisms immediately raised towards him. Mostly by his own countrymen, after the first match, even after Gyaromia crashed out of last cycle's WC qualifying campaign, after which most people back home wanted him gone. Nevertheless, he was given a second chance, much to the dismay of many.
Some of said concerns are about the average age of the squad, which is a valid point to make.
The oldest person in said lineup is CB and Captain Levente Dancs, who is 32 at the time of writing. It's not clear how the lack of experience will show itself in the following matchups, though. There are also some concerns about the team's lack of defensive stability, which I believe is a bit too early of an assumption to make, with a new formation and rotated defensive line, it'll take time fkr the squad to get used to it.

With MD2, a brace from Norbert Vincze clawed Gyaromia back to the full 3 points, after an early goal by Orioni. Besides that, nothing particularly interesting happened. A good opportunity to build momentum, and to get some more points early on. Especially as the next opponents are New Zhengguo (Away) and The Democratic Unionist Cool Kids (at Home), which are two inferior opponents on paper.

Six points will go a long way if this team ever wants to get a taste of WC Football, and they'll have to get some real momentum now, and find some stability in the back line as the team becomes more accustomed to the changed tactics.
But we'll have to wait and see what happens, and be optimistic about the next few matches.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Next Article:

WK Partizan's full lineup ahead of waterpolo finals against WK Rapid...

[West Vdara]

We officially and unreservedly refute the allegations that our superb victory over the capitalist pigdogs of "Edsmontik" was revoked due to a clerical error at the Globalist World Cup Anti-Left Committee, who were all-too happy to infer that our glorious heroes on the pitch must be forced to replay their hard-earned victory over a woeful, dystopian wasteland which is occasionally known as a 'football team'. We find it shameful that ideological differences are once more a hindrance on our path to greatness, glory, and indeed the retention of the World Cup, which we of course won last edition and the edition before, following our fantastic victories over historic capitalist pigdog opposition.

To remind you right-wing scum who discredit our achievements and contribute to our brain drain, our brilliant team heroically turned over the teams of West Newlandia, Westfield Lodge, and Westwest Kalactin in order to bring our specific brand of socialism, the best kind, to the global stage. We have proven time and time again that our glory has been hard-earned, our sanctions unjust, and our army fantastic, and any and all suggestions to the contrary should be shot down - much like the evil capitalist spy birds equipped with drone cameras who stray over our glorious egalitarian airspace. Despite repeated requests from "Conservation Committees" - which sounds a lot like CONSERVATIVES - we shall continue to obliterate these AI-avians until there are feathers coating the length and breadth of our proud nation.

[Ethane]

Ethane pull of dream start to World Cup qualification campaign

Going into this qualification campaign, expectations were sitting low for Ethane. The team had not participated in a World Cup qualifying campaign since World Cup 95, with the whole roster facing a new gruelling campaign without any international experience amongst them. This was the largest world cup to have ever occurred in NS history, and the lowest rank Ethane had ever been while participating in a world cup qualification campaign.

To top that off, Ethane were set to face Saterun, the team from pot 2 in the group. Ranked 43rd to Ethane's 377th, this was a match that everyone expected to only go one way, and in a big way.

But stories are written to be dramatic, fate is made to be broken.

Ethane had their strongest lineup for the opening game against Saterun, and in their largest and possibly most intimidating stadium in The Pit. A stadium carved into the rock, the atmosphere can be intimidating due to how much the rocks contain the sound and echo. This home advantage would prove to be important for the Red Kites.

Saterun tested early, with Harris having to make a couple of good saves. A set piece in the 12th minute from Becker just went wide of the far post, but the Ethanian defence were able to hold off that early pressure.

Saterun, resting, sat back and gave Ethane the opportunity to get one up. A beautiful possession-based play saw Benjamin-Wilson and Knutton link up in the middle of the pitch. A beautiful throughball from Knutton then gave Rushbrooke space to run into on the right side of the box. He found himself in a gap and went for power over accuracy. That was enough with the keeper, Bohler, diving but only getting enough of a touch to bend it into the far corner rather than the centre of the goal. One-nil.

Saterun let the pressure get to them and in quick succession conceded another goal, this time Baker with a beautiful cut in was able to get the cross into Knutton who took an uncontested header to make it 2-0 in the 37th minute.

Saterun would get one back just before half-time, Ibañez beating Thomas-Brown one-on-one to give himself room to shoot. A beautiful shot then beat Harris and ended up buried in the back of the net. Half-time, and Saterun were easily keeping themselves in this game.

It was Ethane that came into the second half looking more fiery and ready to scrap. Saterun looked lackadaisical and low on energy. Ethane had the fight, the nerve to defend well. In the 60th minute, Rushbrooke bagged his brace after a throw-in from Sullivan found Benjamin-Wilson in space. He took the shot but dragged it and it hit the post. It was Rushbrooke who reacted quickest, pouncing on an easy tap-in to make it three-one, and that was the game. The Red Kites were able to shut up shop, with Saterun barely proving any threat in the final 20 minutes of play after an initial fightback during the 60s.

Ethane were able to follow this up with a more typical Ethanian game reminiscent of the highly ranked days of old. A 1-0 borefest with a clearly practiced goal off a set piece, Thomas-Brown scoring the header off a good corner by Baker.

This leaves the Red Kites tied at the top of the table. A good start for the team, but one that is expected to lose momentum quickly.

---

Schedule and Lineup

---

(377) Ethane 3 - 1 Saterun (43)
@ The Pit, Deloitte
Lineup: Harris - Baker - Thomas-Brown - Roberts - Johnson - Ashford - Brooks - Sullivan - Benjamin-Wilson - Knutton - Rushbrooke
Goals: Rushbrooke x2, Knutton
Assists: Knutton, Baker, Benjamin-Wilson
(297) Valladares 0 - 1 Ethane (377)
@ Valladares
Lineup: Harris - Baker - Thomas-Brown - Roberts - Evans - Ashford - Brooks - Sullivan - Benjamin-Wilson - Knutton - Rushbrooke
Goals: Thomas-Brown
Assists: Baker
(377) Ethane vs Tristan de Cunha (235)
@ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum
Lineup: Harris - Baker - Thomas-Brown - Roberts - Johnson - Ashford - Brooks - Sullivan - Benjamin-Wilson - Knutton - Rushbrooke
(89) Elmyia vs Ethane (377)
@ Elmyia
Lineup: Harris - Baker - Thomas-Brown - Beckett - Johnson - Wilson - Brooks - White - Benjamin-Wilson - Knutton - Rushbrooke
(377) Ethane vs Riandera (148)
@ Newton-Smith Arena, Letson
(30) Commonwealth of Baker Park vs Ethane (377)
@ Commonwealth of Baker Park
(377) Ethane vs Ocruo (336)
@ The Marianne Detreux Stadium, Southern Hampton
(UR) Electrum vs Ethane (377)
@ Electrum
(43) Saterun vs Ethane (377)
@ Saterun
(377) Ethane vs Valladares (297)
@ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum
(235) Tristan de Cunha vs Ethane (377)
@ Tristan de Cunha
(377) Ethane vs Elmyia (89)
@ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum
(148) Riandera vs Ethane (377)
@ Riandera
(377) Ethane vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (30)
@ The Pit, Deloitte
(336) Orcuo vs Ethane (377)
@ Orcuo
(377) Ethane vs Electrum
@ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum

[Solgavden]

 Solgavden (SGD)  vs. Windows 7 Bliss
@ Viridis Solar Arena, Lysborg (33,978 attd.)

GOALS
3 - 1
H. Ossler 6' (SGD)
S. Halvorsan 39' (SGD)
XXXX 45+2' (W7B)
S. Danielsan 87' (SGD)

SHOTS
32 - 11

SHOTS ON TARGET
14 - 7

POSSESION
60% - 40%

PASSES
415 - 388

FOULS
7 - 12

YELLOW CARDS
0 - 1
XXXX 57'

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
9 - 4

 Igratia (IGR)  vs.  Solgavden (SGD) 
@ Memorial Stadium, Aurimead (25,227 attd.)

GOALS
2 - 1
S. Halvorsan 27' (SGD)
A. Shackleford 51' (IGR)
J. Perrow 79' (IGR)

SHOTS
14 - 19

SHOTS ON TARGET
7 - 5

POSSESION
48% - 52%

PASSES
321 - 356

FOULS
4 - 7

YELLOW CARDS
0 - 1
J. Lind 50'

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
8 - 5

Do You Believe In Miracles?
Prologue
Part 1

As the Roslund Mirakaler were preparing for the 2008-2009 Kongensliga season, most fans didn’t think that the team would do much of anything. During the three preseason games the club played, they finished 1-1-1, a respectably mediocre result that most of the Roslund faithful weren’t surprised by. The sentiment made sense, as the team itself looked mostly the same as the year prior when Roslund were one spot away from relegation. There were a couple of additions to the team made late in the transfer window, but the supporters saw the moves as underwhelming, quick fixes to what some thought were deep issues with the team. Even though the first few years with Emil Vardaman at the helm brought hope back to the city of Roslund, a lot of the Mirakaler’s fans thought that the team was still underperforming, and they brought the pressure straight to the front office itself.

On July 26th, 2008, a video was posted to the video sharing website known as “WhoTube” that quickly spread throughout the Solgavish sports world. In fact, it was one of the first videos featuring Solgavish football to go viral, raking in over 500,000 views in the first three months of its upload. The video, posted by a user known as “RMCheatah”, parodied the unusually aggressive commercials by used car dealerships that plagued cities like Roslund in the early 2000s.

FUCK YOU ROSLUND! If you’re dumb enough to go see football this weekend, then you’re a big enough clown to come to Astermark Park!

Bad offense, defense that breaks down, and you guessed it, even the goalkeeping is terrible as well!

If you think you’re going to see winning football this season, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!

Because Emil Vardaman thinks you’re such a stupid motherfucker, you’ll come to games anyway, GUARANTEED!

If you can manage to find a better team, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!

That’s right, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!

Because at Astermark Park, we’re completely fucked from the moment the first whistle is blown, or your money back! GUARANTEED!

Take a hike to Astermark Park, home of Challenge Choking, that’s right, Challenge Choking!

If you can manage to choke away promising starts to the season year after year, then you too can win a whopping zero Kongensliga titles! GUARANTEED!

Don’t wait, don’t delay, don’t fuck with us or we’ll waste your favorite player's prime!

FUCK OFF!

With Roslund football, every year the team declines while those at the top does nothing about it, just like the rest of the city!

GO TO HELL!

Come to Astermark Park, home of the stupidest and most incompetent front office in the entire Kongensliga!

GUARANTEED!

This is just an excerpt, the video went on for seven more minutes, but the tone conveyed was common among fans at the time. Talent came and went from the team, but more often than not, their primes were wasted on a team that just wasn’t ready to compete in Solgavden’s top flight. Yet, despite the criticism Vardaman faced in the public, in private, he was quietly working as he always had done, and now he felt it was time to put his plan into motion. Vardaman was old enough to be a young man as the Rega Lysborg teams of the 80s were dominating the Kongensliga. Those teams were anchored by one of the most famous trios in Solgavish sports, who scored almost a combined 1000 goals when they were together: Harald Kistner, Kurt Landau, and Peter Strömberg. Kistner and Landau were the strike partnership in Rega Lysborg’s 4-4-2 Diamond formation, while Strömberg was the team’s CAM who was a master of both creating chances and finishing on his own, blending the roles of a #8 and #10. Outside of this front three, however, the roles were a bit more fuzzy, as center backs were able to contribute on offense in a counter attack, and the wide midfielders were able to pull back and help defensively. Rega Lysborg’s version of Total Football meant that all 100 meters of the pitch was the team’s playground, and they were able to control the ball with ease.

Vardaman was fascinated by this as a young coach, and it was his dream to orchestrate Total Football at its peak efficiency, but the strategy did have its flaws. For starters, it required extremely high quality players, who were fast enough to go up and down the pitch, smart enough to know their roles and where they are most needed, and skilled enough to lay a bone crushing tackle one minute and score a beautiful goal the next. Lucky for Rega Lysborg, they had the funds and prestige to lure and sign players of this caliber, but for the teams Vardaman coached, this was not available to him. This type of strategy also took years to instill in a team from scratch, and more often than not, the pieces to complete the formation to leave for greener pastures before the work was complete. Another problem was that the players themselves were often opposed to the strategy. At the time, most forwards scoffed at the idea of dropping back into defense, instead of charging for the enemy’s goals, and most defenders simply weren’t skilled enough to meaningfully contribute offensively. Many teams had tried to replicate Rega Lysborg’s success, but they all failed, and the interest in Total Football gradually subsided towards other, flashier tactics.

When Vardaman joined Roslund Mirakaler in 2004, and watched the players practice for the first time, he had a feeling in stomach that he hadn’t felt since he watched Harald Kistner and Rega Lysborg lift the Kongensliga title in 1986 after an almost perfect season. It’s there! The framework is there! I’ll just have to uncover it! That’s what he did, year after year, one player at a time, but by 2008, he felt that all of the pieces were in place, and he had the chance to take the league by storm.

Speaking of, let’s take a look at the players themselves, and see exactly who defined Mirakaler football this season.

Fowards:

LS - #9 Rudi Elmerssan (23), CF - #10 Adrian Claeys (21), RS - #7 Tom Bochanan (19)

Roslund’s front three were relatively young, which worked in Vardaman’s favor, since they should have the stamina to both work in the opponent’s half, and then back track to the team’s half if possession was lost. Adrian Claeys was the newest signing to the team, and already had the biggest ego, with Rudi Elmerssan later calling him a “complete jackass” when they first met. Elmerssan and Bochanan, however, were much more humble, with the two never really being considered important prospects for the team at first, having to work their way up the depth chart to the Starting XI. This created a bond between the two, and the duo had great chemistry with each other on the pitch.


Midfielders:

LWB - #24 Theo Granath (26), CM - #11 Robert Braun (32), CM - #8 Ben Keppler [C] (35), RWB - #17 Viktor Kierkegaard (25)

Captain Ben Keppler and Vice-Captain Robert Braun are the undeniable glue that holds this team together, both have been playing for Roslund for over a decade, and are some on the only players that fans know will never leave the club. Ben Keppler is a maestro on the pitch, directing traffic and distributing the ball with ease. Robert Braun was a more physically active player, not afraid to get dirty and lay a tackle on an opposing player, while also have a powerful shot that made him deadly in set pieces. Braun was also one of the few black players in the Kongensliga at the time, this had made him both an object of extra criticism and praise, much to his chagrin. Theo Granath was once a star prospect for Rega Lysborg before transferring to Roslund, and has arguably been the star player for the team. Both Granath and Kierkegaard are work horses, able to defend and attack with authority.


Defense:

CB - #5 Nicolai Varshavsky (23), CB - #2 Dominic Straub (27), CB - #14 Kris Holzer (31)

Varshavsky is another new addition to the team, signed on loan from Kosmo Lunaris with an option to buy. He is a quick player, and is able to chase down even some of the fastest strikers the league has to offer. Straub and Holzer are bothe more traditional defenders, while Straub leads towards being more of a tactically gifted center back and Holzer, being 6'5", is more comfortable with throwing his body weight around.


Goalkeeper:

GK - #50 Hugo Krebs (18)

Hugo Krebs is one of the hottest goalkeeping prospects in the Kongensliga, which says a lot considering the team he's on. He's able to make leaping dives for the ball, and has some of the best hands in the league. Krebs is also skilled in passing the ball forward, which led him to lead the league in assists by a goalkeeper last season, despite only playing 19/34 games. Krebs was named the starter after the retirement of his predecessor, and he is eager to prove himself in his first full season.

If you told anyone, even the most ardent Roslund Mirakaler supporter, that these ragtag group of misfits will accomplish anything this season, they would probably laugh in your face. But to Emil Vardaman, these misfits hold to power to do great things, and now it was his job to unearth it. Easier said than done, of course, as Roslund were set to face off against Relv Sisse in their opening match, in another installment of the bitter rivalry known as the "Battle of the River".

[Drawkland]

Intro

A milestone edition like World Cup 100 entices one to look back in the past at the history written by every team, especially the ones you support. Many nations have done some level of historical tribute for this edition, such as longtime "retired" national team organizations returning for a ceremonial entry certain to do but nothing but mar their old record by playing mediocre ball in uniforms from better times.

For Drawkland, we'll look into the history of our own national team! World Cup 100 marks the 24th World Cup cycle for the Kick Corps, Drawkland's national soccer team. Assuming continual involvement and proper passage of time, the Kick Corps will have participated in over a quarter of World Cup cycles by WC102, which is pretty impressive for how ancient this tournament truly is. Imagine being one of those 4 year per cycle nations, where the first cup was 4 centuries in the past! Are you telling me your ancestors were riding up to matches in galleons and wearing tunics on the pitch? No wonder so many nations have come and gone, risen and fallen, since the first cycle.

Anyway, back to the Kick Corps. Their first World Cup was 77, entering in Baptism of Fire 64 before those qualifiers. That wasn't technically their first action, however. On the multiversal stage, Drawkland's participation began the cycle before. While World Cup 76 was being contested, the O'Reilly Organization out of the Free Republics proposed a secondary tournament for nations that did not enter WC76. This was called the Global Cup of Soccer, and the nation of Felix answered the call to host. With the Kick Corps in a fledgling state, the Drawkian International Sporting Council (DISC) decided that it would be the perfect place to send the team in order to get their feet wet. A sort of "baptism before the baptism," so to speak.

But wait. Why was the Kick Corps in a "fledgling" state at all? Drawkland had been competing in other sports for several cycles before that point. The Grid Corps won the World Bowl that same year. Once the alliances were secured and portals constructed between Drawkland and the "sporting multiverse," DISC had no issue sending out Drawkland's existing national teams out to these competitions. Teams of similar construction were already playing in global Sonnel-wide tournaments instead; this just provided an elevated opportunity and higher level of competition.

So what was the hold up with the Kick Corps? That problem runs deeper and further back than Drawkland's discovery of the sporting worlds at large.

Ellzidan

Ellzidan is one of Drawkland's five Drawkionels, immortal leaders who originally founded the nation and continue to rule (more or less) to this day. The half-elf was born and raised in the chaotic and hazardous wilderness of the southeastern peninsula. She already had partial immortality due to events of her youth and was thus already a couple centuries old when the rest of Drawkland's founders were born and came to power, kickstarting the events that led to Drawkland's founding as a unified nation.

Despite her fierce reputation as a ruthless and powerful warrior, she is a more placid and loving person at heart. When children in the villages of her territory took to a game called "No-Touch," she would often stop by and play this game which was later recognized as a precursor to modern association football. However, this game never spread outside of the forested regions of Ellzidan's territory and eventually fell out of use. A few centuries later, this similar sort of sport reappeared in the north of Ellzidan's territory, which the locals called kickerball. As the world was much more developed at this time, the game gained popularity throughout the region before spreading to the rest of the nation which was beginning to recognize team sports as an engaging pastime.

Due to her nostalgia for No-Touch and recognizing its similarities, Ellzidan also took to kickerball. When a professional team formed in Gelia, Ellzidan founded a pro team of her own shortly after, being another founding member of Drawkian League Kickerball. Eventually this sport reached worldwide, though most other nations in Sonnel knew it as football and had their own versions once Drawkland tried showing them kickerball. At one point an international governing body called The Sonnel Association of Football was founded by multiple nations outside Drawkland. This led to Drawkians adopting the association football terminology and the eventual shortened nickname soccer on their own. Oldheads will still call it kickerball even though it hadn't been called kickerball consistently since before their great grandparents were born.

The first national team

TSAF founded a proto World Cup for Sonnelian nations, though this organization and tournament have both been superseded multiple times. Quicker sea travel had been achieved thanks to ocean lining sea ships, so these international tournaments of national teams became quite a sensation. With her long-term commitment to playing soccer and representing Drawkland in a general sense, Ellzidan herself was quite interested in the concept. With some major influence and persistence (read: coercion) from Ellzidan, Drawkland assembled their own national team, which were called the Drawkland Kickers as a reference to the old sport name. It was quintessential Drawkian footy from the get-go.

However, the Drawkland Kickers didn't last forever. Support for the sport came and went thanks to various periods of war throughout Sonnel, general organizational fraud or incompetence by the governing bodies, and interest in other sports taking attention away from the soccer pitch, at least in Drawkland. Even within Drawkland, the authority and autonomy of the organizations handling "international" sporting under Drawkland's flag was debated and passed around ad nauseum.

Finally, a solution was found. With special attention provided by the Drawkionels, the Drawkian International Sporting Council was founded. DISC joined a group of several "councils" which were offshoots of the Drawkian government. These councils were essentially private organizations given official government authorization to act on Drawkland's behalf in their domain of authority and enough money to operate at minimum capacity in exchange for answering directly to the Drawkian government and kicking back a percentage of profits, when earned.

DISC era

DISC brought all matters and operations of international sport business within Drawkland under their umbrella. The national teams were standardized with similar operations and a standardized naming/color scheme. The "Corps" moniker was used, as a universal nod to the corps systems which are common in Drawkian life. Not going into that right now, try another one of the 8 RPs I've written about that. Thus, Drawkland's national soccer team was dubbed the Kick Corps as a nod to both pieces of Drawkian history. Now, this was still many years before the portals were built and the "multiversal era" of Drawkian national team histories.

Ellzidan had competed on nearly every version of Drawkland's national soccer team, but that was quickly on the way out. The new-look Kick Corps played for just one Sonnelian cycle under the control of DISC before things went haywire. See, the team owners in DLK were tired of having to lose their star players to overseas play multiple times per year. Most other sports had their international championships in the offseason or integrated in their domestic calendars. However, the inconsistent and constantly-shifting soccer calendar was impossible to plan around. This was also around the time that star players started getting million-dollar contracts. The owners were deathly afraid of losing their investments to injury, especially if those players aren't even playing for their team when it happens. So, they collectively conspired to prevent their soccer professionals from playing for Drawkland's national team. The only issue was that Ellzidan, one of the most powerful owners due to her history and notability outside of the league, was an ardent Corps supporter. It would take nearly unanimous support from everyone else to make it happen.

The switch to DISC and the new Kick Corps was the opening the owners were looking for. Citing changes in the international organizational framework, crying crocodile tears about DISC being more difficult to work with than its predecessor, and finally convincing a few of the more traditionalist owners to their side, the anti-NT owners got the job done and passed internal DLK legislation which disallowed players contracted with DLK teams from participating in any "national team matches for international tournaments." DISC updated their internal guidelines shortly thereafter to confirm that their selection process for the national team roster would pass up any DLK players.

So, the Kick Corps was transformed into more of a college standout team. With Drawkian professionals barred from entry, and very few Drawkians playing overseas for other reasons, the next-best players available were all college student-athletes. This turned out to be a somewhat convenient arrangement. The DOCA (Drawkland Organization of Collegiate Athletics) soccer season was much shorter than DLK's and occupied a different time on the calendar, so most international tournaments didn't conflict with it. Most future pro student-athletes had a few months of downtime between graduation and being drafted into DLK, so something like an international tournament was a great way to stay in shape and prove their worth to try and raise their draft stock.

Multiverse era

For many years, the Kick Corps was essentially a U26 team featuring some between-contract journeyman veterans with DLK experience. Naturally, Drawkland's international soccer record in the Sonnelian spheres fell off. The "kiddie" Corps could pop off an impressive run every once in awhile, but against the best of Sonnel's best, they never won any impressive trophies. This was a constant bother for Ellzidan, who despised how the team had essentially been stolen from her but couldn't really do anything about it without literally being a despot. She had to bide her time, but fortunately, as an immortal, time was her most plentiful resource.

The opening of the portals and the beginning of the "multiverse era" of Drawkian history (especially in the sporting realms) presenting Ellzidan's best opportunity to finally win the Corps back. Thankfully she was helped by the Grid Corps getting such a quick start in the World Bowl and instantly increasing interest in the new multiversal "World" tournaments among the Drawkian populace. The occasionally-maligned soccer fans across Drawkland demanded that the Kick Corps enter into these new tournaments, especially with how much interest those competitions received from countries overportal.

The different international calendar, once supposedly more consistent once you shake the fluid off, would eliminate one of the old DLK owners' argument. Another help to Ellzidan was the fact that the owners who originally killed the Kick Corps had been dead for generations, and their great-whatever-grandchildren weren't as hardheaded against the concept. She covertly worked with Iarocav to work out strategy, and held preliminary meetings with DISC to see how changing their soccer administration could work. Eventually Ellzidan presented a comprehensive proposal to the DLK owners outlining her plan for bringing the Kick Corps back to the professional level. Oh, she also held a press conference right before that meeting to announce her intentions, igniting a frenzy of excitement on social media for the change to be made.

Ultimately the newer owners were won over, whether by apathy or outside pressure. The old bylaw was removed from DLK's charter, DISC had already begun changing their internal workings at Ellzidan's behest, and the Kick Corps was really returning. Of course, once the train got rolling, Ellzidan dropped to merely being a player on the Kick Corps roster, to prevent any accusations of her holding unilateral control over the organization. Metropolon Lights manager Michael Starre was hired to manage the new Corps, and the Global Cup of Soccer was identified as a soft landing point. The Multiversal Era of the Kick Corps was about to begin in earnest.