Updates from the Saint Eleanor League

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat May 20, 2023 11:39 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2003

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 52 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield).

Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools, was barred from the 2003 and 2004 editions due to allegations it had unsuccessfully tried to bribe soldiers to send their children to the 2002 team. There is no suggestion any of their 2002 players were obtained through bribery. SEFA announced at the same conference in February 2003 that only the four semifinalists would enter the third round of the Shield in those years, with no other byes. Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2003 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1986. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, which is owned by the government of Squidroidia. The trials have varying levels of success, but at least one or two players are somehow offered contracts through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers - although many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen.

Round 1
Bishopgate CS 0–1 Brightway CS
Allington CS 2–0 New St Paul CS
Broadlands CS 2–1 Crownedhead CS
Oaktree CS 2–1 New Bayside CS
Buckhead CS 0–4 Army School
Sunset Gates CS 3–0 North Seville CS
University College 1–0 Farbend CS
Grand Beach CS 2–1 Magna CS
Elsmouth CS 0–2 Silverton CS
Girls' Preparatory 0–0 Hartridge CS (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Trident CS 5–2 Marketplace CS
Williamstown CS 2–3 Queenston CS
Richardgate CS 0–4 Tannerton CS
Bramblewood CS 0–1 Holland CS
Millerham CS 2–1 Goldsmiths CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–0 Carpentersville CS
Mount Dennis CS 0–3 St George CS
Northolt CS 0–0 New Lizard CS (0–3 AET)
Airport CS 1–0 St Paul CS
Blackwood CS 0–0 Deepchester CS (2–1 AET)
Bonpool CS 1–1 Newbanks CS (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Parkside CS 1–0 Wellington CS
Springfield CS 0–3 Eastern Fell CS
Kelbury CS 1–4 Jacobville CS

Round 2
Newbanks CS 1–0 New Lizard CS
Army School 4–3 Sunset Gates CS
Grand Beach CS 2–2 Trident CS (2–3 AET)
Holland CS 0–3 Brightway CS
Millerham CS 0–2 Girls' Preparatory
Parkside CS 3–1 St George CS
Queenston CS 7–2 Airport CS
New St Paul CS 1–0 Buckhead CS
Eastern Fell CS 1–2 Silverton CS
Oaktree CS 2–1 Jacobville CS
University College 0–1 Broadlands CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 Tannerton CS
Allington CS 3–5 Blackwood CS

Round 3
Whitehammer CS 2–4 Oaktree CS
Broadlands CS 1–0 Trident CS
Premier CS 2–2 Newbanks CS (3–2 AET)
Silverton CS 0–0 Boys' Preparatory (0–1 AET)
Brightway CS 1–1 Eleanorian Academy (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Queenston CS 0–1 Girls' Preparatory
New St Paul CS 1–1 Army School (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–2 Parkside CS

Round 4
Premier CS 1–0 New St Paul CS
[Terry Handler 78']
Oaktree CS 4–2 Parkside CS
[Dave Richards 14', 53', Lily Emmerson 27', Faleranema wePaneraleva 79'; Bill Hart 45+3', Sam Pratt 66']
Girls' Preparatory 3–2 Boys' Preparatory
[Maria Morgan 36', Andrea Haggard 53', Saffy Mitchell 88'; Pete James 14', Michael Darrington 69']
Brightway CS 1–3 Broadlands CS
[Tristan Bentley 65'; Ian Marks 17', Matt Lees 74', Sarah Gordon 83']

Semifinals
Oaktree CS 0–3 Girls' Preparatory
[Andrea Haggard 5', Michelle South 51', 68']
Broadlands CS 1–2 Premier CS
[Ian Marks 64'; Wendy Smith 43', Natalie Hendricks 68']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2003 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

They, and they alone, will also be entered into the third round of the 2004 Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Girls' Preparatory 0–0 Premier CS (0–1 AET) ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (39,538 in attendance)
[Wendy Smith 108']

Saint Eleanor will enter Premier CS, the winners of the 2003 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 15. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Adam Penny [GK; he/him]; 2. Fiona Henderson [LB; she/her]; 3. Richard Darling [RB; he/him]; 4. Terry Handler [CM; he/him]; 5. Ben McDougall [CB; he/him]; 6. Sophia Wilson [CB; she/her]; 7. Brian Hurd [LM; captain; he/him]; 8. Diana Harvey [CM; she/her]; 9. Wendy Smith [ST; she/her]; 10. George Murson [ST; he/him]; 11. Natalie Hendricks [RM; she/her]; 12. Joseph Arlington [GK; he/him]; 13. George Richards [LB; he/him]; 14. Kevin Brown [CB; he/him]; 15. Susan Reynolds [RB; she/her]; 16. Patricia Gilbert [CM; she/her]; 17. Alan Parker [LM; he/him]; 18. Ella Michaels [ST; she/her]. They are joined by their manager, Euan Samuels [he/him].

Premier CS will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at Premier Proving Grounds in Premier district, seated capacity 4,000. When you're Premier district, you simply have to go bigger and better than anyone else; the school is no exception, although Trident might be a bit upset at the claim. A fairly modern stadium with four covered, all-seater stands, you know exactly what you're getting on a scale you just can't get anywhere else in schools football. And no, it's not canned, sanitised faux-atmosphere. Pavola's most trusted* bank would never do anything of the sort.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Independence 1975 won the Saint Eleanor League of 2002, with Athletic Saint Eleanor in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 14 - the Eleanorian Academy (crest left) and Whitehammer CS (crest middle) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 12. Their managers, Bill Patrick [he/him] and Sarah Newbury [she/her], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It is also the only field in the CTS - other than the Good Hope Stadium, shared by Trident CS and the Good Hope Club - to have four stands, which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

For recording the largest win at the 2003 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of Queenston CS into Vilitan Cove Invitational 20. (Their crest is depicted above to the right.) SEFA, based on precedent and assumption, believes that Holland CS's application to VCI 19 remains in force. The manager, Stephen Rawlings [he/him], is happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about his teamsheet should they ask for it.

Queenston CS will play their home matches in the VCI at the Bandstand in Queenston district, standing room only. So-called because it was built on the site of a bandstand demolished during the War of Independence, the only way you're going to tell the Bandstand apart from a regular football field is from a large, mounted plaque informing visitors about the Community School and its connection to the old structure. There are no stands and no seats, so bring your own deckchair and... I'd say "make sure you wear something sensible" but that's part of the Eleanorian psyche already.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Bridget Edwards. The Girls' Preparatory have only won the Shield once, in 1981. Any GP side that only concedes two goals in its five games up to the final, never mind makes the big occasion in the first place, deserves recognition. Edwards is not the kind of player who takes nonsense from anyone (especially not her own teammates) and not the kind who gives it out, either: she is quiet, diligent, perhaps always watching, and one of the most instinctive goalkeepers of recent times. Her penalty shootout heroics against Hartridge were good enough; her work to stop scores of attackers from lesser schools get a hold on the game, which they have done so often in this competition's history, better. And as for the final? It didn't go as planned... but without her, Premier would have converted a lot more of their twelve shots on target. We counted them. She probably did, too.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat May 20, 2023 11:45 pm

The Saint Eleanor League of 2003

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2002 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 14th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2003, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
All players with underlined names play for their national team as of the start of 2003.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2003's list of dates here. (Also, it was literally eating up 20% of the post.) Please refer to the spoiler in this post.
The Howell-Watkins section was cleared with Quebbles.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CM; 34yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 33yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 11. Lauren Pell [RM; 29yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 31yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Kent [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 15. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 16. Fred Newton [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [41yo; they/them]: An Associations' Trophy quarterfinal might not have been the expectation but it was a ride with a million stories to match - something that couldn't be said of their comfortable league campaign and they hope won't be said of this season. There's an agreement that the squad would, and should, be kept together as it was last time: on most occasions, positional stability will rule the day, although overlapping and pushing forwards when necessary will be encouraged, interlink play (especially down the centre) will be frequent and Nightingale will continue to do nearly everything by herself. Why change a winning recipe? Because Yelto-Aflan can, they will, they'll do so at every last opportunity and they won't care if they're too dangerous like some lamented after the SS Vitelogna battle - they're only the third manager to win back-to-back league titles. A third would be the sweetest revenge on Indy possible.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. John Bailey [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 23yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Liam West [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 36yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 19yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 19yo; he/him]; 11. Keira Monaghan [RM; 32yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Robby Ellis [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 31yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 16. Trevor Marley [CM; 35yo; he/him]; 17. Henry Green [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Gary Morgan [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [48yo; she/her]: One of the Eleanorian greats and long tipped as the heir to Derek Pittam, Sharp lived up to expectations when she had to lead the club from a poor start to the season to a second-place finish and a Showcase title... but she's well aware their traditional defensive acuity and consistency won't be enough. It's not clear if Katy Wilson's arrival from the Academy is a liability as much as it is a pre-emptive rescue job at the back, although the backline is stellar but getting on a bit - West's international retirement could be stepped up any day after 2004, at least. Kichirō Matsuda, Wunderbar Quatro in his recent glory days, can be good on his really good days - and incensed if he's not, which should be enough of an incentive to get the club moving even further (and looking at more of a hybrid approach now Grover isn't just going after people). Dortmün Çídh's performances up front might have to match up to his boasts of being Edmün and Röémün's younger brother on top of that, or the house of cards might start falling down for Sharp too.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 29yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 31yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 31yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 23yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 16. Richard King [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 27yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [40yo; she/her]: Most Eleanorian clubs would bite your arm off for stagnation: incremental changes are common, but league position changes can be highly variable and "knowing your place" as such can be valuable. It might well be hurting Celestia, though: they underperformed in the domestic competitions, were bounced to the Challengers' Cup and made no changes whatsoever. The Kandorese three are some of the best in their positions in the world and the club quite literally wouldn't be where it is without them; Goldsmith has burnished his reputation enough to earn a national-team callup. All the nice furniture is still there, too - Nicholls is still going to be utterly infuriating opposing attackers; Šasawić is still going to be dealing with those of them who haven't reacted so rashly and Galbraith will still be hammering in crosses so seemingly average you'll wonder why nobody ever seems to clear them away - but really, at what cost? It's unlikely Schanke will be removed from office in any event; most likely she's annoyed the club isn't picking up or dropping off anyone other than Charles Trump Shield prospects.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 22yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 24yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 22yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 33yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [RM; 32yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 25yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Sam Bradman [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 23yo; she/her]; 16. Joe Watts [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [43yo; she/her]: Fourth place might have been an average finish in years gone by, but in this day and age, it's a sign of just how much quality the University and friends have nurtured without spending a penny. Steele's ethos of development carries on even without Princess Sylvia, Energija-Nuklearna's $1.5m woman and perhaps their most controversial transfer in living memory. The defensive lines are above-average, but perhaps merely serviceable: Lucas Barrow has gotten a few minutes but there are few questions as to whether he can cope in this environment; Richardson is showing signs of real quality in goal while Terrence and Kilkenny have been rightly close to the national team fringes for years. In terms of the attack, her move to a more conventional approach solidifies; Gordon's advancing age might be the factor that finally gets her to stay behind rather than steal Marcus' long-earned limelight and there's a case to be made that Martin and Roanoke are still the best wingers in the league.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 31yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 7. Matt Shilling [LM; 34yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 27yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 22yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 22yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 39yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Keith Bartlett [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 28yo; he/him]; 18. Tim Hart [ST; 24yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [60yo; he/him]: Crisis isn't something the Unicorn's been used to in a while - they're preparing for their inaugural IFCF adventure and look like they have a nice, good-fitting squad - but for how much longer? Much of the team is already over thirty, although this betrays experience more than age: Wood is the captain, one of the most trusted Eleanorians of any description and possibly has another decade in the tank; Pazorzal is the de-facto vice-captain and shows no signs of leaving; Shilling was poor last season, however, and should be doubted more than most. Still, don't expect great things from the Unicorn: there's nothing wrong with Mariani, Laker or even Monaco, all of whom are at least somewhat attack-minded players without which they would truly struggle, but it's hard to see how the squad can survive as it is without a good deal of last-ditch intervention and a lot of blooding even more youngsters like the promising Lewis.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 22yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 21yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 35yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 28yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Pefachela Etchalix [CM, but closer to CDM; 33yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 31yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [44yo; he/him]: This is 2003, not 1998. Dunbar understands this and so do his club's fans, who didn't criticise him overly-harshly for a sixth-place finish but might have been hoping for a bit more. The team remains almost identical to last time; question marks surround Cooper's age, but the general sense is it would be best to keep him on the little-noticed wings. Lynul-Sevet, pragmatic more than they are reflexively conservative and with a reasonable awareness of the game, might be the future model of those positions; Curran, Juventud refugee and known lover of attacking play, might be a bridge too far in the Dunbar era. Key is proving to be a spectacular but positively unflashy replacement for Denby but is never going to take the reins when Pilchard and weMexala are around. His classmate French has done well for himself, too, and will continue to link up the play and keep out early central attacks when he can. Olympic are equal just as much as they are well-balanced, which could be a great asset - but a slight liability.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 34yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 27yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 25yo; she/her]; 10. Michelle Tallard [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. James Benson [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Will Edgebrook [LB; 35yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 31yo; she/her]; 17. Patrick Budd [ST; 37yo; he/him]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [46yo; she/her]: Grand Beach did as expected from a bird's-eye view, but teething granular problems could cost Atherton her sanity as well as her job - again. The most important change on last year is that Budd appears to be entering a phased retirement of sorts; Tallard, a bit less dynamic than the feted McNamara but with more of a focused eye for goal, takes his place. The dynamic in this attack remains peripheral, with the lightning-fast Tim Brandon and erstwhile Liz Harris willing both to cross in and make their own chances; Fulton should go forward whenever she has the chance, but Harris is fine dropping back and Abbott isn't similarly bent. Defensive solidity is otherwise the order of the day, as you'd expect it to be under Athers - Westwood is the more attacking midfielder, but not by much; Newbridge is a legendary defender in his own right and Parson should remain quietly competent as ever - but whether this is being de-emphasised enough to give the fans the change of approach they secretly want is still, incredibly, unclear.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 2. Matt Johnson [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 3. Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 9. Wayne Crawshaw [ST; 36yo; he/him]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 25yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 28yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Polly Ground [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Garton [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 26yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [55yo; he/him]: Fans United are preparing for a second season of what they hope will be above-average performances - they're looking at an end-of-year club sale - and continues to trust Graham to deliver them. Hawkins has been spoken of highly in many circles but there is an agreement she needs to keep up the kinds of displays she gave us last year - or there may be serious calls for trial winner Rhodes, with his precious few years of school experience, to take command at this early stage in his career. The Squidroidians know, and might well love, their places; Crawshaw has said he will retire after this season and will likely adopt a more drawn-back position to let Ishida take full advantage of his new role. It's hard to say which of the midfield "twins" has the advantage, but Francis and Woodhouse are defensive-verging-on-rounded players; Adrianna Murray looked like a second striker in her few games last year, making her ideal for giving other defenders headaches and perhaps consolidating the status quo there.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 25yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 32yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 31yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Alexandra Barrett [LM; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 17. Peter Simpson [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 31yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [42yo; she/her]: Good Hope were not so much unlucky to finish ninth as they were lucky they didn't finish lower. The fans aren't expecting an immediate renaissance, but they will want Kirkport to prove to them that last year was a blip rather than a return to mediocrity. The side isn't unchanged - Burrow will provide a trickier, more inverted presence on the left, replacing the hated Falareta Wesevta, while paVepexala will want to prove he has that attacking oomph that never seems to crop up in Tridentine midfielders. Otherwise, however, Cleveland will remain the club's biggest forwards presence, Brown will continue to be a rather dovish counterpart to the powerful Pemecutanian Sofyan, Falconer will continue to run the line on the left whenever Burrow decides to skip inwards, and Bryant will continue to be the club's most overarching presence - and perhaps a stopgap captain in the next few years.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Lance-Corporal; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 30yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 22yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 8. Eric Stone [CM; Sergeant; 28yo; he/him]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 26yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 31yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 21yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 27yo; she/her]; 15. Lucy Barton [CM; Corporal; 28yo; she/her]; 16. Mike Chancellor [ST; Private; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 30yo; he/him]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Roger Elliott [55yo; General; he/him]: In a last-ditch attempt to save his job from any number of Army League bosses, Elliott has made the grand total of... three changes. Green, the untested but promising jack-of-most-trades, is brought in place of an underperforming Smith; Wilkinson is axed, the tough-nosed but relatively liberal Shilling brought in his place and the even less-heralded Paul Jones warming the bench now. The introduction of substitute keeper Rose Carter is all PR and possibly more to do with her relatively rapid promotion than anything. All told, this is a better defence than it was - Cup of Harmony winners Eldridge and Livingston make sure of that - while Lucy Barton is on call in case Stone remains as much of a liability as many noticed and, in perhaps a lesson for her near-namesake at the Good Hope Club, Wallace is adjusting well to life on the other side. It's a story of the same old up front, with a fairly agile Chorley coupled with old-fashioned target woman Bartley, and they seem to be just as predictable. Is this an improvement on last year? Yes. Will it be enough? Most likely not.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Spam Who [GK; ??yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 32yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Derry [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 31yo; she/her]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 34yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 37yo; he/him]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Collins [LB; 29yo; he/him]; 14. Stephen Shepley [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 30yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Simon McCabe [44yo; he/him]: Two-and-a-bit seasons feels like a light year for an Aegis manager, and top council bosses have at least promised McCabe another season in charge. The South Newlandian legend has made some pretty decent acquisitions on the free: testy but underrated Teamer Spam Who arrives in goal; good-enough Juventud centreback Rick Street enters in Coluseris Dalousol's stead and is expected to perform at least a bit better; the unreliable Anne Hoar is out in favour of McCabe's compatriot Alessio Lombardo, of whom a bit more action is expected than his days at the Elephant Valley would suggest; Matthew Wrekin is Aegis' only other serious midfield prospect of recent times. He's defended George Guest's retention in the squad, calling the captain "the backbone of our side" - but if he remains as flaccid as he has been these past couple of years, combined with the fears around Lombardo, it's likely the Falcons will be just as spineless as they have been for a few years. If the boss can get the side in working order, on the other hand, he will become a cult hero in most of Bramblewood.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Steve Christopher [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 2. Charlotte Ellis [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 3. Bob Jackson [RB; 21yo; she/her]; 4. Will Ryan [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Nalerena paLeratenale [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 6. David Howard [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Henry Bennett [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Luke Ryan [CAPTAIN] [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 9. Beth Stevens [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 10. Tracy Hilton [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 11. Patrick Trout [RM; 19yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Noah Longwood [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Lucy Brunt [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 14. James Simpson [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Faralena xaRevanerala [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Good [RM; 19yo; she/her]; 17. Darren Taylor [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Kate White [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [62yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth, and the new group of youngsters seem unlikely to change that. Christopher and Howard appear to have gotten decent reports from their schoolteachers, but serious questions - even more serious than those surrounding Trisha Oldham last year - must be raised about whether the likes of Ellis, Trout and substitute Taylor (who had admitted to never before playing organised football - but then neither did cheer squad veteran Curran) can really cut the mustard against any of the other teams. The Ryan brothers from last year offer a steadying presence while you can't rule out Stevens for an impact up front, but this generation more than almost any before it is doomed to obscurity. Expect nothing, if anything.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 9
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 9
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

Who's Hot and Who's Not? (by Lily Rudgley of The Express)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2003     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  22   18   2   2    34    9  +25    56
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   14   2   6    34   18  +16    44
 3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   12   4   6    41   26  +15    40
 4 Occidental Olympic                 22    9  10   3    38   30   +8    37
 5 Sword and Shield                   22   10   5   7    41   34   +7    35
 6 Newbanks United                    22    9   5   8    21   25   −4    32
 7 Good Hope Club                     22    8   7   7    28   24   +4    31
 8 Army and Navy                      22    7   6   9    24   22   +2    27
 9 Grand Beach                        22    5   8   9    33   35   −2    23
10 Golden Unicorn                     22    6   5  11    27   36   −9    23
11 Nova Aegis                         22    4   4  14    22   44  −22    16
12 Juventud                           22    0   2  20    18   58  −40     2

HOT: Kichirō Matsuda. 2003 was an excellent year for Independence 1975 and hotheaded midfielders alike. We should not judge Matsuda, the fourth Wunderbar and a World Cup-capped boy wonder, on the basis of one unfortunate incident in which he put the Unicorn's Natalie Monaco face-first in the mud at the height of a grinding 1-0 win, earning him a two-game suspension... perhaps we should. It gave him well-deserved time in which to relax and return to his best, which - as we've seen - can be the best. His conduct in most games was utterly impeccable; the best example of this would be the mid-season 3-0 pasting of Athletic at home, in which he pitched in a surprise goal from thirty yards out, made tackles as and when they were needed (this made Layla Grover very happy, if a bit less obnoxious than before), provided support to Independence's players on their runs, and - if the statistics are to be believed - pulled off almost all the passes he made. Simply astonishing.

NOT: Julia Atherton. I'm not saying that everything that happened with Grand Beach this season was Atherton's fault - or even that she should be reconsidering her position. What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, she is straying from her purpose. I'll argue later that the club's new order is entertaining, fun and doesn't care about results, but she hasnt imposed this at all: if anything, she'd rather keep the squad defensively sound but moderately successful, a mini-Indy of sorts. The problem? They're all set at the front, but (with a couple of exceptions) they either don't know what they're doing at the back or are past the age of caring about it. Get the backline in order and the Dolphins will truly have the firepower to succeed - while connecting with Atherton's long-stated philosophy of management, too. Don't, and say hello to years of uncertainty; 2003 on repeat, if you'd like to use that analogy.

HOT: Emma Francis. Contrary to public perceptions, the midfielders of Newbanks United are developing identities of their own. Rachel Woodhouse is more of a go-getter if pressed, the kind of woman who'd literally join an attack if that meant she could come up with something - anything - to put her side ahead. (Case in point: her floating end-of-season assist for what proved to be the winner against Sword and Shield.) Of course, she needs cover for that; Francis, her long-time friend, will happily give that to her. She is closer to the traditional holding player: she doesn't go up all that much, will nevertheless try and swiftly win the ball off the attacker before they run into one of the two radically different-minded Squidroidian centrebacks, seemingly just knows where her friends in brown are and won't make that much of a fuss if she makes a mistake because she's busy seeing to its correction. Olympic since Coombe has been a good example of how midfield pairings do not have to stick together. So, too, is United - and it might yield them success one day too.

NOT: James Simpson. After Will Ryan suffered an inopportune injury that left him out for much of the spring, Simpson was called up to replace him. You can guess what happened in the mid-stretch: played eight, lost eight, scored eight... conceded twenty-six. The first few games were okay, but the witness to farce began with the 8-2 crash at home to Hiyashi Celestia, in which Nobusuke Kuronuma rightly made mincemeat of his alleged marking and jockeying abilities; no wonder he got himself a hat-trick of assists. Hot on its heels was a 2-0 defeat away to Athletic, where he seemed so hell-bent on tripping Harriet Williams that he was swiftly issued with a red card for repeatedly provoking her. The hallucination continued when Army and Navy visited and secured a 3-1 win, in no small part due to his complete and utter disappearance; he was either sluggish in getting to the ball before the opposition or flatly refused to do so. We were all put out of our misery during their 4-1 away loss to Good Hope, however; Simpson rammed into a couple of Seasiders by accident, repeatedly gave the ball away to them, didn't know when to give up the ball, was absolutely sloppy in defence, and never reared his head on a football pitch again after that. A sorry guide to a sorry season all told.

HOT: Adam Shilling. Army and Navy are back in as big a way as you can get in this world of increased professionalism. Shilling has proved that he can play, and is playing, a big role in their future: while he's a less assertive defender than we're used to from the Army ranks, this is a good thing if you're concerned about the rashness that some of his colleagues (think Ken Wilkie) have displayed in games past. Even most people in the forces are - but he only got two yellow cards all season. This also manifests itself in his preference to calmly glide the ball to teammates rather than blindly booting it; the best example of this is the eight-pass sequence he started to give his side a crucial away point at Olympic. His leadership off the ball is also impressive in a defence that has two international gold medallists: he sets the tempo in low-urgency situations, allowing for the defence to nudge up or go back out of caution where necessary, and never breaks the line otherwise. Not since the Invincibles of 1990 has the team looked this good, and Shilling is but one important part of that.

NOT: Logan Hughes. This was a worse season than even Brightway's most hardened sceptics had envisioned. It's often hard to fault one individual for a team's shortcomings, but most of the blame for the Unicorn's poor season can be laid squarely on Hughes' door. Time and again - from their fourth-day horror show against Olympic where he failed to properly mark Steve Pilchard, to his flat-out red card against Celestia right before the break that let their attack cut through easily, to the penultimate-round capitulation against Army and Navy - he was responsible for the defensive shortcomings that, all too often, left his team adrift and cost them the matches they should have been winning (and would have won last year!). They wound up above only the usual two suspects in terms of points and goals allowed. Hughes was so bad that Wanar-Xalan Tla was regularly dispatched to help with the situation; this certainly saved a few points, as it did on day nine against Newbanks United, but turning them into the north's Bridget Coombe possibly isn't what Ian Jones had in mind for them this season.

HOT: Rachel Curran. Everything you think you learned about Juventud is wrong. Our Lady of the Pom-Poms knows this as well as anyone: a rightback by trade over there, George Dunbar plopped her in front of the aging Chris Barker on the left when she forced a move there. She has proven herself to be admirable there: with Short adopting less of a roaming position than he would have during the title-winning campaign, say, the doors are open for her to completely run the left flank. She has the courage to track backwards - and succeed in doing so - when the ball runs loose, the serenity to edge the ball into a midfield position rather than going for the traditional cross when the situation suggests it's better (as she did with Steve Pilchard when he opened the scoring in their seventh-round tie with Celestia), and the wisdom to know the difference between a wasteful crisis situation and a position of true opportunity. Carry on like this and she may get the real move she's always wanted - while Olympic will no doubt be able to chalk her down as the latest of their transfer successes. Not yet, however. We need her to win the league with us first.

NOT: Rachel McNamara. Spare a thought for the woman who was, until very recently, Bencoolen City's darling - or at least the woman who took them out of the drop last year. This time around, however, Tumbran FA politics would not look so kindly on her: first it emerged that all of the nation's top clubs wanted to split from the 128-team structure into their own, smaller T-League infrastructure; then she not only threatened to walk out of the club if they found themselves in the new second division, but denounced the proposals as highly damaging to lower-league Tumbran football and said she'd do everything in her power to get Bencoolen out; then City voted in favour of the T-League plans at the TFF conference like they were always going to; and then they dropped out of the top flight so obviously that it's almost certain she'll be up for grabs when December comes. Suddenly the East Coast doesn't seem like such a bad place... if only there weren't two twenty-something women regularly starting up front anyway.

HOT: The Grand Beach frontline. Yes, that's right, the Dolphins are back entertaining crowds in the most unlikely way possible: by not flapping about doing nothing of substance like they have been for years under Julia Atherton's command. Sara Halbrook finally came into her own this year, netting ten times - while newcomer Michelle Tallard got eight and Tim Brandon six - and only failed to score against two teams, champions Independence and rivals Good Hope (although both of those games ended 0-0). but the new emphasis on pushing the entire defence up, while a bit uncharacteristic, proved to be highly effective in these regards; it was a double-edged sword too, however, and the questionable defensive shows against teams like Celestia and Sword and Shield only proved it. The football looks good and it finally feels good - but the fans will likely want it to actually manifest goodness, a prospect which hasn't been forthcoming lately. Another change of squad may be more necessary than a change of manager.

NOT: The Athletic frontline. You might be questioning the wisdom of me criticising Athletic Saint Eleanor for scoring more goals than Grand Beach. They did, but not by an awful lot - 34 against 33 - and in their second round of games, the only other top-six side they scored against at all was Sword and Shield (and then only once, Tim Driver getting a remarkably fortitious deflection off Samuel Walcott). Even Nightingale could only muster thirteen goals. This is not the hallmark of a club that almost made the Association Trophy quarterfinals again nor one that seriously wanted to mount another title challenge. What it might be is damage control - Yelto-Aflan Ono is famous for tinkering, we can hardly rule out the possibility they wanted to stop further embarrassment against the big sides in favour of... well, avoiding past, and even recent-past, embarrassment against the Juventuds of this world, and everyone can see they were a bit more tepid in those matches. A bit more courage could have helped, however; it might have even gotten them the title. It was not to be, however.

HOT: Nobusuke Kuronuma. Hiyashi Celestia, as a team, might have lost a bit of the lustre it attracted in its early if recent years. I can reassure you that Nobusuke Kuronuma has not - even though he arrived as a begrudgingly-trusted no-name from Kandorese professional football. His work is not, and has never been, glamorous: he is the captain; he is supposed to get in there, try not to break his own things, work on getting past the opposition instead and do all of that while thinking about what's best for the team rather than just chucking himself forward. He does, and has done, all of this splendidly - providing a link between Nicholls and the defenders at the back, Honda, Goldsmith and the wide players at the front. The best exemplar I can think of is valiance in defeat, the 3-1 home loss to Athletic in round nine; there, despite having to put up with barrages of shots - fifteen in total - This is the most beautiful football in Saint Eleanor (perhaps only after Occidental Olympic's, of course)

STILL SOMEHOW SIZZLING: Jessica Martin. What is it with Sword and Shield getting themselves out of terrible early-season ruts? On this episode, the Arsenal had won four in a row slap in the middle of the season - followed by a draw against Independence - to rise from tenth to fourth, and came to Parkside at the height of June, right before the international football break, knowing they needed a result to keep looking serious. They achieved this - coming back twice to earn a draw - but not without Martin's help. She repeatedly chased and exposed Curran and even opposing captain Samuel Short; pinged the ball exactly, with perfection and always in the right direction; hammered in a corner that Alex Marcus was all too willing to scoop up from a few yards out; and if that wasn't enough, even came up with a last-minute stunner of her own, catching Neil Rourke unawares from the edge of his area, to secure the point. The perfect mini-portrait of a woman whose season gave her nine goals, almost as many assists, not a single telling-off from the officials and an IFCF place from a position some doubted they'd get after Sylvia Hollenberg left.

NOT: Naferala paVepexala. Hopes were high in club circles that Naffy... wouldn't be so naff. Not only is that exactly what transpired, but he exposed himself as the weakest link in a team that had literally just strengthened itself after an atrocious season. The newly-rejuvenated wingers, Burrow and Daltrey, were dynamic, happy to get as many openings in as possible even if that means making a few understandable mistakes. Holliday, and even Bryant to an extent, proved themselves to be more pragmatic influences, dropping back and moving forwards. Where paVepexala erred was in not joining them: his policy of staying near Amanda Cleveland at almost all times made him look like the striker he actually wasn't, he was hassled off the ball accordingly and was the least productive member of the team overall. Another seventh-placed finish is good, to be sure - but it could get better if paVepexala works on getting out there and expressing himself more. Alessio Lombardo faced similar criticisms before his move, but he made exactly that change when he started all of Nova Aegis' 22 games, and that might just have saved them from the bottom.

HOT: Trustworthy foreigners. Eleanorians pride themselves on being diverse and (at a bit of a push) welcoming. It's unsurprising that this has carried over to the league, which now boasts of a record 20 foreign nationals. I still haven't mentioned Yusuf Sofyan, who could be moody and even confrontational at the worst of times but was more instrumental than any other player in making Good Hope's defence the third-best overall; Wlad Wlad, whose experience and patience was more than useful in helping Athletic top even that; Dortmün Çídh, who scored a relatively eye-popping twelve goals and almost never missed a trick as Indy won the title altogether; Gionata Mariani, who continued to tick away as the Unicorn's main wide influence even in the utterly dour situation they found themselves in; Nicole Morlock, who did her job and did it in an almost completely anonymous fashion, as she and everyone else expected; and the Squidroidian cadre at United, whose diverse and well-honed skills came together in such harmony that it almost took them to the IFCF. Oh - and someone else.

NOT: Unknown foreigners. Simon McCabe promised us at the start of the season that Spam Who - the goalkeeper that nobody had ever heard of from TeaFarmers, the nation nobody would have ever heard of if not for the Tea Cup - was "a long-term project" for the club who only posed "a minor challenge" in the dressing room, but that he'd simultaneously "get sorted in no time" too. As it turned out, he might as well have said Who would never get sorted. Three Aegis players, even the notorious George Guest, complained to the press throughout the season about how much havoc he was wreaking: dominating dressing-room conversations for no good reason, taking out his rage against the Coliseum lockers, screaming at McCabe when he was put on the bench (including during Will Johnson's spell during the 2-0 win over Athletic), and so on. What did for him, and McCabe, was his decision to fight a group of Good Hope fans just after the summer break; caretaker boss and PE teacher Paul Hazzard, who trusted Johnson, earned two points in his four games, but you do have to wonder to what extent Who's spell was a waste of time, money and reputation for the club.

MOST CERTAINLY SHOT: "David Howell-Watkins." As international football news and opinions go, "don't start random bloggers in your pro team" definitely isn't a novel take on things. In December 2001, you'd be forgiven for thinking Howell-Watkins was Saint Eleanor's deputy ambassador to the Shambia, a well-connected 23-year-old who was good enough at football to join Independence's B side but would have rather moved on up. Olympique de Rimouski, the Q-League side whose approach for a Shambian player was rebuffed by the government's Esportiva-only policy, swallowed it hook, line and sinker. What did for him was a terrible performance in the first few minutes of 2002's tenth-round tie against Swangard Athletic, where observers described him as completely aimless and was convinced he was at fault for the first two goals conceded; they only dropped one in the eighty minutes he wasn't on the pitch, but the damage was long done by then and Esther Launceston's highly critical letter to the Songak Praetorian did him no favours. Quebecois authorities revoked his visa days later when they learned he was actually Dave Watkins, 29-year-old ex-supermarket cashier with no sporting pedigree, although I understand he's bouncing between low-wage jobs in Joongyeong and hasn't been deported back to his "family villa" - a standard-issue semi in Grand Beach.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat May 20, 2023 11:46 pm

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2003 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Hiyashi Celestia: 2 (1999, 2000)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)
Independence 1975: 1 (2002)

INDEPENDENCE 1975 - WINNERS OF THE 2003 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 63

1. John Bailey [he/him]
2. Cathy Winchester [she/her]
3. Donald Hutchings [he/him]
4. Layla Grover [Tikariot; she/her]
5. Luke Elliott [he/him]
6. Liam West (C) [he/him]
7. David Newcastle [he/him]
8. Kichirō Matsuda [Squidroidia; Wunderbar; he/him]
9. Dortmün Çídh [Farfadillis; he/him]
10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [he/him]
11. Keira Monaghan [she/her]
12. Robby Ellis [he/him]
13. Joshua Tanner [he/him]
14. Lucia McCaul [she/her]
15. Jon Harp [he/him]
16. Trevor Marley [he/him]
17. Henry Green [he/him]
18. Gary Morgan [she/her]

Manager: Lydia Sharp [she/her]

RESULTS OF THE 2003 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Premier CS (independent CTS team) 2–5 Juventud
Newbanks United 1–0 Broadlands CS (Celestia youth team)
Athletic Saint Eleanor 4–3 Occidental Olympic
Good Hope Club 1–1 Hiyashi Celestia (1–2 AET)
Nova Aegis 2–0 Oaktree CS (independent CTS team)
Girls' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 2–2 Sword and Shield (2–3 AET)
Independence 1975 2–1 Army and Navy
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Grand Beach (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)

Quarterfinals
Newbanks United 0–0 Golden Unicorn (1–0 AET)
Nova Aegis 4–1 Juventud
Sword and Shield 0–0 Athletic Saint Eleanor (1–0 AET)
Independence 1975 2–0 Hiyashi Celestia

Semifinals
Newbanks United 1–1 Sword and Shield (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Independence 1975 1–0 Nova Aegis

THE FINAL
Sword and Shield 0–3 Independence 1975

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

The Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony
presented each year by the University's Football Society
The FootSoc president is Dennis Bond (3rd year; theology and religion)

Best Player: Dortmün Çídh (Independence 1975)
Do I have any right to call this man any good? I'm going to go out on a limb and say absolutely: he was out there with the best coming up with some absolute bangers. This guy isn't a normal striker: he floats about, he charges, he shuffles the ball - and hammers it - he skips round his man and sometimes charges into him by accident. And he scored a top goal with incredible solo buildup play... those were just my observations from the final. My girlfriend, Lydia, has compiled a lot of notes here talking about how good he's been in the other three games, but it's going to take half an hour for me to read all of this so I'll pass. No, I'm not dating anyone from Hiyashi Celestia. Why would I? Indy is quite firmly in my blood.

Worst Player: Eric Stone (Army and Navy)
Everybody knows how substandard Eric Stone is; Roger Elliott does, too, although it looks like he's only 80% of the way there judging from how he somehow saw fit to include him in the first-and-their-last-round starting eleven. Let's put it this way: he was bad. Quite bad. Not very bad, but it wouldn't be fair of me to pick on the Trumpies. First, when Wunderbar the Fourth had the ball, he just... went on without any challenge from Stone whatsoever. It was like he was playing rounders and everyone else was playing football. Second, when Our Dortmün had the ball, he got involved in a terrible clash with Eric which got neither of them injured but led Eric to get a yellow card and allowed Indy to open the scoring. Third, he wasn't marking Layla Grover properly during one of the last corners of the game, letting her in for the other winner. That the Army got something in stoppage time doesn't matter. You're playing in a derby, mate. Act like it.

Most Average Player: Wayne Crawshaw (Newbanks United)
I am going to be perfectly honest with you. If the media is to be believed, Wayne over here played all five hours of United's Showcase games. Did he do anything, at all, in those games? He didn't come up with any big chances, he didn't squander anything that looked meaningful... basically, the whole world passed him by and he didn't care because he was trying his best to actively take part in it. Not that it makes him bad - but he's a solid five out of ten in my book for our purposes. He might quit soon, which would be no big deal, except if Ian Graham chose a bad player to replace him. He won't; I trust him enough.

Best-Organised Supporters: Premier CS
I know a lot of people who think that Premier district is loud, tacky, a bit commercialised and basically some jailed wanker-banker's egotrip. To be fair, I know a lot of trades unionists' kids. What this doesn't mean is that the staff at the local school can't channel this spirit to turn the local "Proving Grounds" into an absolute sea of dark green and a bit of white - little need for tifos, no need for pre-recorded nonsense, just fun, banter and wonderfulness. That is what Premier did and we should respect that even if they got destroyed by Juventud. Seriously. Just as well, mind; rather lose to Premier than Juventud.

Excitingest Elimination Extravaganza: Girls' Preparatory vs Sword and Shield
Bridget Edwards, a seventeen-year-old you've never heard of, against... a load of older people everyone in Anaia's heard of. And all of us here at FootSoc absolutely adore. Who wins? The answer should be obvious, but it took the full two hours to decide for reasons not even my mate who's doing astrophysics has worked out: Jess Martin was good - and she was so good she got in there twice, in the first half an hour, and hardly anyone was watching! Thankfully the hosts realised they were, in fact, the hosts and The Playing Fields 2 wasn't such a bad place after all, because they held their lines together, kept out literally all the shots, nicked a couple of counter-attacks, and looked odds-on for penalties until super-sub Joe Watts emerged with a goal out of nowhere. With drama like this, who needs the performing arts department?

Silliest Incident: Everything in Nova Aegis vs Juventud
Nova Aegis... against Juventud? That should not be a tie that gets the winner access to the Showcase semifinals. It shouldn't. What it should be is a tie that gives us loads of basic defending mistakes, a few completely avoidable cards, at least a smattering of angry fans, at least two refereeing errors and - above all - a chance for us here at the University to have a laugh at the Polytechnic. This one had that in spades and no amount of formality can dress that up.

Act Most Likely To Get You Suspended from the University: Gionata Mariani's unconvincing Tim Brandon impersonation
Don't tell me you can run fast unless you can, in fact, run fast. If you look really closely at the quarterfinal replay over on this tape, you'll see this guy couldn't escape Matt Johnson - and not only once, but time and time again. If I had to escape any left-back in the world, I'd escape from Matt Johnson: he's slow, he's not very agile and he takes his time to clear the ball out. His sweet, sweet time. You'll also note that Gio doesn't even try and win the ball back most of the time. I'm sorry, but that essay's an easy 20%, fail mark, please resit in the assigned 2004 League exam period or you're going to get cleared out of this place. Thank you.

Golden Clove: John Penkridge (Hiyashi Celestia)
Northern Saint Eleanor is just not supposed to have yobs in it. You have the middle-class, who are nice, friendly people you want to have a coffee with - and then you have the factory workers and shopkeepers, who are nice, friendly people you want to have a pint with. I should know; I'm a Jacobville man. Unfortunately, John the assembly line worker didn't quite get the memo during his side's away day in Central: when Indy were celebrating their second goal, he decided to "celebrate" by chucking lots and lots of garlic on the pitch. Not onions, praise Margaret; I know not every Farf's a fan of those. Still, apparently enough to deserve ten minutes of stoppage time and get him a five-year ban from the place.

Brianna Austen Award for Humiliation: Parecava gaExhecela not clearing in on goal against Newbanks United
Well, I can't say I didn't expect to be called up to the awards ceremony. Not after that terrible nosebleed I got last time. Anyway... PGE, as I like to call him, is a nice man. He hangs around the area a lot for obvious reasons: his younger brother's studying here, although unfortunately he's doing maths, not history. There isn't anything wrong with him as a player and there's nothing to suggest he won't start one day. So, what happened? Picture the scene: it's a Showcase semifinal and there are one-and-a-half minutes remaining until penalties. They beckon; they loom; they cry your name. And you are running up against Carla Hawkins, knowing that almost anything you could possibly do would result in a goal. What do you do? In PGE's case, he tilts the ball to the side - too much for her to get her glove on it; not enough for you to score. A goal kick is awarded and, although you do score the first penalty, you must wonder why you had to give away such an obvious chance.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat May 20, 2023 11:47 pm

OOC: It only came to my attention during Cycle 16, the finals day of which I wrote this note, that Rising Stars Cup 14 was the first RSC for which drawn knockout ties proceeded straight to penalties, without recourse to extra time. ICly, extra time did occur during Boys' Preparatory vs Atletik - as recounted by Phil Parris - and was awarded as a result of bona fide referee error following miscommunication from IFCF HQ about the extra time reforms.

Reflections on the IFCF

Naresmet taFrexala: Esther is Best!

The Celtics are not a good team. They put us out of the last Associations' Trophy. Then before that they almost took us out of the Champions' League, although that particular job happened to be done by Sandfjell Football this year. Yeah, I don't speak good Capnordic, sorry. My point is, other than three big moments, we weren't really that good. One was when we absolutely destroyed the other Celtics in Licentia; 4-0 in both legs, I think it was. Getting dumped by Mood was a big "come ooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn!" moment and I can't believe we fucked it.

Two was the group stages, where we were really, really bad except when we played at home. We even defeated the second team 7-2! Empilot? Yes, it was; the Ancherion Super League isn't what it was when I was at primary school. And number three... the Celtics. The big, bad, experienced Celtics from Rushmore. Not the puny ones. The first game, of the first knockout stage, against those guys, was tense - like, you could feel the pressure, right there, if you weren't so busy thinking about the game. It was back-and-forth, a proper tussle, and I was struggling to believe we got out of that one alive for most of the evening afterwards.

A few days later, it was game two. Harriet was strong on what the game meant to us; she really said we're an established club, we have to win this, we can't risk making enemies in our mind and stuff like that. I was thinking, you know what? She's bang on with that. We want to win games even if they don't mean anything but this was a chance for revenge on the line, no way am I passing on that. I thought. I didn't even need to do that much work. Why? Because Esther was out there doing absolutely everything. Anything that those guys were throwing at us, she was somehow always there, leading everyone at the back, clearing up the balls, getting the action away from them - amazing. And it was so clean, really, you'd think this woman had come down from Heaven to teach everybody how to defend. Even me. Really. And we won 2-0, so really good, we're through, see what happens next and all that.

We have a bit of a saying in the dressing room: Esther is Best! Nobody thinks she'll be the captain for at least another ten years because Nightingale needs her go - even she says so - but her attitude, her sensibilities, her personal beliefs, how she approaches life and the game, all of that makes her so inspirational to us. That's why she delivered and why we trust her so much. But all of this and we still didn't go any further than Mood in stage two. Still, we were playing Northern Union. Trophy winners, mate, don't sniff at them.

I was wondering: after what happened this time last stage, what should we dress her up in... nice flowy dress, elbow-length gloves? Maybe. She had to become a servant lady last season, don't think there's anything wrong with making her mistress of the house now. She would 100% have been an aristocrat in her past life if I believed in those things. I think we're due something fancier if we ever get back to real IFCF competition, but I'd have to ask her. Until next time: Hail to Queen Esther!

Dortmün Çídh: Take a Chance, But Not on Me

You expect me to give a fully-blown history of how and why the great Independence Football Club of 1975 didn't win the Champions' League? Technically, that is completely possible. The first thing we had to do was get drawn against 1923 Esca in the second qualifying round. If you think that would be easy, you're highly mistaken. Starting with the basics: we've never made it past that stage, ever, although that may be because we only entered in Saint Eleanor's first two cycles when they objectively weren't that good.

If you want to go a bit further, this was 1923 Esca. By at least one objective criterion, they were the second-best team in the world; 27th by another. We were nowhere near them. Look at the names of the players they've been lining up and tell me these don't look familiar: Okongo, Goh-Lemaire, Papez... Mopiraja? That is not a Rulandese name. I'm sorry, but that is yet another reason why this was never going to be nice and smooth and what have you.

To make matters worse, we were 3-0 down by the end of the first leg and doomed to failure: nobody since Harbor in 2000 - a light year in IFCF terms - had recovered from that situation. I maybe had a couple of attempts and they weren't as good as I expected. They had zillions and Goh-Lemaire in particular was involved with all of them; if anyone, she was the player of the match. It'll be enough to say I was extremely angry with the situation; not enough that I was breaking things, but definitely enough that I think I made everyone understand just how bad this was going to get. What we had to do was go to their den, in their capital, with a few days' turnaround and pray for fire.

We actually got two goals back in the first half-hour; the third was harder to come by, but I took my chances early in the second half, got a sliced attempt over Do and into the goal and all of a sudden we were believing again. It wasn't really a matter of holding back or holding off - we had a couple of other good efforts throughout the game, but really what Esca was trying to do was put us off our game, get the goal that kills the tie and and go through. They nearly did that but they had to bank on the penalties instead. Before they happened, I was telling everyone I knew "take a chance, but not on me, I'm being honest." Lydia just siloed me off at number three and expected me to do something anyway; nothing remiss had been happening in the shootout and I knew exactly where I wanted to place my shot. It was right up there in the top left hand corner where Do couldn't really get anything to it.

So, roll on penalty number five. Bajic gets it straight down the middle, that's easy. As it turns out, Layla was taking our next one. Layla Grover? A bit of an unlikely person to be resting your hopes on, but she'd taken on setpiece duties a bit after Alice departed, so I'd have at least hoped she could have kept up the game. As it conveniently turned out, she could not - not even close. She had some choice words for herself after it all happened, but she probably thought it wouldn't be fair to blame anyone else. I thought it was a fair outcome - sad, but fair. And then Istria City came along and made us look like incompetents, let's just say.

The Challengers' Cup was "as you were," really: we knocked over the smaller sides people expected us to get past but folded against Izotzubia, as is the form. Nothing to write home about, but at least it made it look like we were contending for a few things on a few fronts. Some number of months and a couple of actual trophies later, we go to Ziwana to play the Mansanduni Union. Small team... pretty big tie. The start of our Cup Winners' Cup journey - also the end, as it turns out. We lost 1-0 in both legs and believe me, you don't want to know what I was saying after we began with the shitshow in Ziwana.

Rachel Schanke: History in the Remaking? Guess I'll Take It!

Yeah... anything I'd like to say? Definitely: we managed to pick off Herzegovina City of Banija in the CC qualifiers and I'd say that's one of the proudest things I've ever done in football. I wouldn't call it my proudest - if you look at what I did for Cassadaigua, you'd understand - but when you really think about it, you can see what this means very clearly.

I know my players and I know fully well that they are capable of performing to the highest level when they absolutely need to. I reminded them of that in the first leg in Saint Eleanor but I don't think they needed the extra push! I know everybody loves talking about Takeshi and how he's one of the best in the world, but seriously, if you look at how good he was performing just on that day, he was on that defence like a fly to honey - absolutely unstoppable. I'll throw my hands up and accept we cut off a bit towards the end, but I always thought no big deal, this is us on coffee, we won't have any when we go to Banija and let's see how they respond to us then!

I'm not biased when I say that Takeshi, Nobusuke and Lydia are, pound-for-pound, at least almost the equals of Godwine, VMK and Kama. Seriously! Just one problem: Cynthia. My time with the Fillies just about overlapped with hers but even at that stage, I just knew she was going to be another excellent CASE study... sorry. Now, of all times, was proof of that; if she let anything go even once, HCFC would go out. The reason we couldn't settle this thing in 90 was a bit psychological - it was their turf, almost their rules, and they were on defence much more than they were at our place. They had to be.

In another sense, I'd say we were more on the conservative side too; it wasn't the most fun I've ever had and, if I had to sketch the gameplan, I'd say we'd be holding back pretty much until extra time and try to get a winner there. No away goals means no risk of getting suddenly knocked out! That didn't happen, which is a big shame because we had the advantage in that period and if we were 10% more effective, we would have won - no need for penalties, nothing like that.

All in all, however, I'd say the shootout gave the most deserved outcome: our players were spot-on, they knew how to apply the lessons from training but they didn't just copy what they did in practice, which I think took Cynthia a bit by surprise. Shojiro was guessing a bit - he told me after the game - but he made two great saves, won us the game and pretty much put us that close to the group stages. I won't criticise their team or anything like that because they really don't deserve that smack talk. We won, fair and square, against one of the best teams in the world - and we proved we were some of the best at that.

Two days later - no, not just the next day - I woke up, got to the Hiyashi Celestia office back in Saint Eleanor, turned to the secretary and asked him "Wait, did we actually eliminate them?" I still couldn't believe it even when he told me we did. I'm going to be honest here: Celestia making it back to the group stages of a major IFCF tournament is a huge accomplishment at this early stage. There aren't a lot of teams that do that every year, especially if they didn't enter the Champions' League at first; our performances weren't as good as I hoped but we worked as hard as we could in every single minute of every single game. Was it worth a chance to witness history in the remaking? Guess I'll take it!

Alex Rounds: What Are We, Some Racist Mytanars?

I'm not going to take too much of your time, but not for the same reason Sword and Shield doesn't take too much of the IFCF's. The soup of the day was once again a Four-Goal Paste for Starters, although at home to Galatica this time. Those people did us dirtier than they did Grand Beach all those years ago - and I can reassure you they did Grand Beach dirty. I counted at least two fouls that weren't called in the first half, their first goal was clearly offside and I've lost track of everything else they did.

Anyway, the ref gave us mercy when we'd just gone 3-0 down. I was out there screaming to my teammates at half-time "what are we, some racist Mytanars? We were not built to throw games away like this and you fully well know that!" They were well aware they weren't exactly the team they were last year - but I needed to get them to realise at the same time they weren't playing Brinemouth, either. They were playing a very winnable game against a decent - not great, just decent - Pasargan team.

It might have worked: we lost the remaining three halves of the tie 2-0. Did we keep a good line and length? Yes. Did we know how and when to clear up? Yes. Did we work out how to get the ball forward? Not quite, I'm afraid, and we're supposed to be quite good at that. Losing Sylvia was bad enough - and I say that! - but performances like these not only make us not look like worldbeaters but like people who have no idea what they're doing. We left that attitude with Abraham Straw.

As for the rant? Didn't think it at the time, but I spoke too soon. We're back in the internationals and so is she, under Energija-Nuklearna - where I've heard very good noises about her, even if they're not coming from the devoted fans. Let's just hope the Uni Grounds don't get radioactive the next time we get visitors there; I had some unkempt mates when I was studying but even they'd think the world's gone mad if that happens.

Tim Hart: I Do Mean There's Nothing I Can Do About This

Our little sortie to Astograth was not one to remember. Firstly, we got put down as "Goldern Unicorn" for a bit by one of the HQs, although I'm told this was corrected a while later. Then - well, you have to remember this is modern Astograth. We know precious little to anything about it and I'm not sure anyone was quite sure what we were up against. We scraped a draw, which we thought was a fair result, and the consensus was mostly that we'd be good enough to do something similar in the reverse.

Did we? No - no, we did not. I had to sit down and watch as those people were going up against us again and again and again and again while we didn't have a proper response to them. This isn't the stuff a 2-0 is made out of; they really should have won by more. The phrasing is intentional because I do mean there's nothing I can do about this: I am stuck on the substitutes' bench watching all the action happen and barely get a look into the squad. I understand Pazzo's really good at what he does and I don't want to take anything away from him - but where's my game time? We're not that good, people think we need a lot of changes... I'm thinking this could be my break.

Phil Parris: Anything but Those Last Five Minutes, Please

Heartwrenching? That doesn't really cut it. The Rising Stars Cup is a competition everybody cares about but nobody - or at least almost nobody outside our beloved Youth Champions Path - really cares about. The Pinnacle Project were all good sports, some of the best people and best players I've ever come up against, and I'm a bit sorry it didn't work out for them in the end. We were through, though; the real goal was to go where everyone before us could not, to the coveted final four, the big RSC/LBCT week-long spectacular in the Tsear Tsuperdome.

The first thing that was meant to stand between us and that was the Atletik youth team; the Mytanars had a youth league once but I'm told they gave up on it a while back. They were, as the form suits, relentless. They weren't dirty, not as much as we expected, but they were absolutely pounding us with efforts on goal, crisp passes, good vision. Anyone who's watched any IFCF game like that knows it ends badly for the Eleanorians. Always. This one didn't look any different because they took the lead in the first half and held it for most of the second.

What happened next gave me - and us - belief. We'd built up our own play well with about ten minutes to go and were mesmerising them with our skills and tactics. The sucker punch came when Harry dragged the ball to me; I was roaming out wide, so tried to free up some space for James to score. He didn't, but he noticed Adam and he made the entire stadium scream with delight. Then one of their players got a yellow card for a bad tackle on me which I think he deserved. I set up the free kick, looped it over, converted and we were leading in extra time!

At this point, I'd have been happy with anything. Anything... anything but those last five minutes please. The first 115 were stressful enough. Those two goals were beacons of light in a trenchant light-blue sea of misery. They didn't stop hitting at us; they didn't stop going after us. They didn't roll over, to put it without flourishing. I could have sworn the equaliser was a mile offside because the person who scored was well in front of our last boy. The linesman didn't notice, we had no hope of getting a winner in the little time that was left and it was on to penalties.

The shootout didn't begin really well because three of the first four efforts were missed. Unfortunately the successful effort belonged to Atletik and, while both of the sides continued to score, I knew we were going to go out at some point. I was unsure whether I wanted to take the last penalty because I feared I'd miss and put our team out, and I don't think I made a good effort, but the goalie didn't push it away enough and the game was still alive. All we needed to do to keep it that way was to stop their fifth taker from scoring so we could enter sudden death and possibly defeat them like Athletic Saint Eleanor and Celestia did. He scored.

Tsplendid.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Aug 19, 2023 11:53 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2004

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and in part the IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 52 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield).

Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools, was barred from the 2003 and 2004 editions due to allegations it had unsuccessfully tried to bribe soldiers to send their children to the 2002 team. There is no suggestion any of their 2002 players were obtained through bribery. SEFA announced at the same conference in February 2003 that only the four semifinalists would enter the third round of the Shield in those years, with no other byes (read on to find out whether SEFA kept this promise). Teams are seeded in the third and fourth rounds only.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2004 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1987. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups (in the unlikely event they win the Showcase too) and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, albeit on an ad-hoc basis with the Misiriyaa Football Group acquisition. The trials have varying levels of success, but - for some reason - somebody is always offered a contract through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers. Many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen, but not in the droves of years past.

Round 1
Marketplace CS 2–3 Jacobville CS
Carpentersville CS 2–3 Eleanorian Academy
Goldsmiths CS 4–0 Farbend CS
Buckhead CS 1–2 Airport CS
Elsmouth CS 0–2 Trident CS
Richardgate CS 1–4 Grand Beach CS
St Paul CS 2–2 Wellington CS (3–2 AET)
Bishopgate CS 0–4 Queenston CS
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 St George CS
University College 4–0 Tannerton CS
Bramblewood CS 2–3 Hartridge CS
New Lizard CS 3–2 Allington CS
Brightway CS 1–0 Magna CS
Crownedhead CS 3–2 Mount Dennis CS
Williamstown CS 0–0 Blackwood CS (0–2 AET)
Kelbury CS 2–1 Springfield CS
Whitehammer CS 0–0 Eastern Fell CS (0–0 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Sunset Gates CS 0–1 Holland CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 Newbanks CS
Army School 1–2 Northolt CS
Deepchester CS 1–2 Parkside CS
New St Paul CS 0–0 North Seville CS (1–0 AET)
Silverton CS 0–1 Bonpool CS
New Bayside CS 0–3 Millerham CS

Round 2
Millerham CS 0–1 Blackwood CS
Hartridge CS 3–3 New St Paul CS (4–4 AET) (7–6 pen.)
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Boys' Preparatory
Jacobville CS 0–1 Grand Beach CS
Kelbury CS 0–1 Airport CS
Holland CS 1–0 Goldsmiths CS
Bonpool CS 3–2 Northolt CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic 5–0 Crownedhead CS
University College 0–1 Eleanorian Academy
Parkside CS 2–0 Trident CS
Brightway CS 4–0 St Paul CS
Queenston CS 1–0 New Lizard CS

Round 3
Hartridge CS 2–2 Whitehammer CS (2–3 AET)
Oaktree CS 0–2 Premier CS
Holland CS 1–2 Eleanorian Academy
Saint Benedict's Catholic 4–3 Bonpool CS
Grand Beach CS 3–1 Airport CS
Girls' Preparatory 3–1 Queenston CS
Brightway CS 3–4 Blackwood CS
Broadlands CS 1–3 Parkside CS

Round 4
Girls' Preparatory 2–1 Parkside CS
[Emilia Jones 33', Sarah Collins 75'; Mark Arnold 59']
Grand Beach CS 2–1 Premier CS
[Harry Bassett 13', Rachel Coulter 22'; Jane Bourne 68']
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–2 Whitehammer CS (3–2 AET)
[Maria Waterford 48', Catherine Murray 72', Therese Barr 110'; Adrian Davis 40', Michael Wall 55']
Blackwood CS 0–1 Eleanorian Academy
[James Young 42']

Semifinals
Grand Beach CS 2–3 Saint Benedict's Catholic
[Oliver Samuels 34', 61'; Maria Waterford 6', William North 76', Lydia Vickers 85']
Girls' Preparatory 2–2 Eleanorian Academy (2–2 AET) (3–2 pen.)
[Harriet Billings 60', Sarah Collins 88'; James Young 25', Tracy Shilling 43']
[penalty shootout, Girls' Prep taking first: Sarah Collins GOAL, James Young GOAL, India Merson SAVED, Stephen Webber WIDE, Emilia Collins GOAL, Àlfôn Qâerês GOAL, Harriet Billings POST, Diana Grant OVER, Erin Tucker GOAL, Cat Richards SAVED]

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2004 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

Following the second round fracas and in anticipation of Liberty's return, discussions are ongoing about the 2005 Shield's organisation.

THE FINAL
Girls' Preparatory 1–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (54,204 in attendance)
[Laura Howard 25'; James Heath 57' and 65']

Saint Eleanor will enter Saint Benedict's Catholic, the winners of the 2004 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 16. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Peter Woakes [GK; he/him]; 2. Georgia Henley [LB; she/her]; 3. John Carter [RB; he/him]; 4. Lydia Vickers [CB; she/her; captain]; 5. Steve Kennedy [CB; he/him]; 6. Elizabeth Brent [CM; she/her]; 7. Andrew Hill [LM; he/him]; 8. Owen Daniels [CM; he/him]; 9. Maria Waterford [ST; she/her]; 10. Catherine Murray [ST; she/her]; 11. James Heath [RM; he/him]; 12. Sophia Martin [GK; he/him]; 13. Paul Jolly [RB; he/him]; 14. Thomas Gardner [CB; he/him]; 15. Therese Barr [LM; she/her]; 16. Mary Davis [CM; she/her]; 17. William North [ST; he/him]; 18. Alex Baines [RM; she/her]. They are joined by their manager, Stephen Woodacre [he/him].

For recording the largest win at the 2004 Charles Trump Shield, Saint Eleanor will also seek the entry of Saint Benedict's Catholic into Vilitan Cove Invitational 21.

Saint Benedict's Catholic will play their home matches in the RSC, VCI, and - if needs be - CWC at The New Arena in Holland district, seated capacity 2,000. Tall, imposing, fairly pristine and with opposing grandstands, there is very little to hate about the New Arena other than the fact it is so generic that few people have had the words to describe it in a manner that is original and cannot fit any other school. It is the home stadium of a religious school, which does at least fit that description in an Eleanorian context.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Independence 1975 won the Saint Eleanor League of 2004, with Athletic Saint Eleanor in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 16 - the Eleanorian Academy (crest left) and Whitehammer CS (crest right) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 16. Their managers, Bill Patrick [he/him] and Sarah Newbury [she/her], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the CWC and RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is James Simpson. Known to his friends as Jimmy, Simpson - Blackwood CS's star striker - deserves his award for leading the line for his school in the perfect storm: in the middle of the biggest seeding and draw mishap in SEFA history, while facing challenges from other schools including League feeder schools and despite barely making the first game after a minor niggle hit him days beforehand. There is nothing else that can be said here that will not be said by Grace Walker to LocalTALK nine in-character months from now.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Aug 19, 2023 11:54 pm

The Saint Eleanor League of 2004

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {flag if non-EXT} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

ICly, the Squidroidians will be given Eleanorian citizenship in mid-January 2005, after the WC94 squad selection cutoff; they will be listed as Eleanorians from next season. OOCly, Squid's given me his dispensation to have them represent Saint Eleanor for the foreseeable future, with the understanding that they will retain their Squidroidian citizenship.
Teams are in descending order of 2003 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 15th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2004, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
All players with underlined names play for their national team as of the start of 2004.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2004's list of dates here. Please refer to the spoiler there.
The existence, Current Location and fortunes of Lara Smith were cleared with Mytanija (although she is 100% Eleanorian). Also, 58,300 talars is one dollar as of this writing.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. John Bailey [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 33yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 24yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 6. Liam West [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 37yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 20yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Keira Monaghan [RM; 33yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Robby Ellis [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 32yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Henry Green [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Gary Morgan [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [49yo; she/her]: Another day, another success. Sharp led Independence to second in her first season, truncated by her arrival after a poor opening, and the title in her second. Hopes are understandably high that she will deliver again in her third, and this is a solid squad which can be reasonably tipped to help out. Çídh more than proved his worth last time and will be expected to do so again. Matsuda and Wilson, the relative newcomers, are both defensive-minded with a hint of attacking oomph despite playing in (barely) different positions. The national-team trio in defence should remain solid as ever, despite West's impending departure from the setup, and there is little if anything to condemn in the rest of the squad. Losses of concentration may be the only thing standing between them and number eleven.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Stuart Norton [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. John Tresco [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 23yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CM; 35yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 33yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 23yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Zohra Truscott [GK; 32yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Kent [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 24yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [42yo; they/them]: Athletic could have made the Associations' Trophy last eight again had they met anyone but Northern Union... and would have won the title again had they not faced a souped-up Indy. Yelto-Aflan is largely keeping faith in the old side; while ultra-prolific pegasus Nightingale and ever-dependable Driver up front, and pocket rocket Sareleva on the right wing, are all praiseworthy, sidelining highly-rated 2002 CTS veterans Phillips and Parris may not be the wisest response. Tresco and Norton are both good players, but there's no reason why they couldn't have been replaced given their recent patchiness. Harriet Williams would be a doubt were she not a tenured player and the captain. The defence is perfectly fine, especially Esther Launceston (once described as "the nation's most forgiving perfectionist"), although it's not clear they have what it takes.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 30yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 32yo; she/her]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 30yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Lydia Nicholls [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 32yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 24yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 15. Simon Baker [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 28yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [41yo; she/her]: Schanke may not lose her head but may well lose everything else if Celestia keeps slacking. The core of this side is one of the best in Saint Eleanor: Honda is a club legend and it's hard to believe he's still 26, while fellow striker Goldsmith repeatedly underscored last year why he deserves his status. But reading through the rest of the lineup - Nicholls should be defensively solid when she's on the pitch; Kuronuma conducting the play, Šasawić being the star in defence, Morlock being woefully ordinary, perhaps even Galbraith being Galbraith - will probably give you deja-vu from each of the past few Januaries. Why shouldn't it? This squad could have competed for titles in 2000, but not in 2004; Celestia should accept their bronze medal in advance and look to hit the transfer market next time.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 23yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 22yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 34yo; he/him]; 8. Dominic Cooper [RM; 36yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 29yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 22yo; she/her]; 17. Mick Smeaton [RM; 31yo; he/him]; 18. Kerry Otterson [ST; 32yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [45yo; he/him]: Slow but steady may lose the race for Celestia. Adjusting for expectations, it should win it for Olympic; the introduction of Andrew Card, likely to the bench for most games, is the only change on last year but they should be set for a return to the IFCF. Rourke may be getting on with years, but the rest of his defence is quite young and it's likely that Curran and Hyatt will make the White Stars sooner rather than later on their current trajectory. French, while unlikely to be as great as whoever preceded him, is astute in defence and sometimes attack; Pilchard will continue to link up with him while setting up the chalk-and-cheese partnership of weMexala and Key. The old recipe of centre-focused play still stands out in the cookbook and there's no telling if changing this could kill Dunbar's career like the pivot to attack did Manuta's, but that is a question for the future and you may as well enjoy the ride now.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 23yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 25yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 23yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 34yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [RM; 33yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 26yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Sam Bradman [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 24yo; she/her]; 16. Joe Watts [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [44yo; she/her]: This cycle will give Steele an indication of whether to transition or stick at it. There's no suggestion geExhecela will threaten Marcus, yet he might well if she snaps back to her old habit of dropping back instead of taking charge. Martin isn't retiring yet, but Barring may get a few runouts to show if he can cut it when she's gone. The midfield needs to prove itself again or find themselves with their jobs at risk. Walcott is a good player for now, but Bradman is snapping at his heels and could walk away if he doesn't get a fair shake. And there are plenty of good players elsewhere who Steele might think she (somehow) needs to build on - at what cost, though? Olympic and perhaps United will be insurgent, and everyone but the cleaners might run for the exit if any failure this season repeats itself.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 27yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 4. Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 7. Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 25yo; she/her]; 10. Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 25yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 29yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Matt Johnson [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 27yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 29yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [56yo; he/him]: The Misiriyaa Football Group are in charge now - and so is Graham, who's committed to continue promoting one trialist a year despite it no longer being required. Little is expected of James Pittam but the world is expected of Rachel McNamara, the new $3m signing who they hope will provide in spades the kinds of goals that kept Bencoolen City a Tumbran top-flight club for two years. Otherwise, this squad is more founded on friendship groups than any other: the trialists are all still with the club and Polly Ground is now a regular starter; the four Squidroidians should continue stabilising the defence, speeding up the attack and collaborating with McNamara (respectively); Francis and Woodhouse will keep the club's defensive tilt alive for a while yet; Hawkins and Banbury should be above-average for their positions.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 33yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 32yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 22yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 32yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Alexandra Barrett [LM; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 17. Peter Simpson [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 32yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [43yo; she/her]: Most of the substitutes' bench played alongside Kirkport, if you want a sense of the youth-focused rebuild she needs to engage in again within a few years. Still, it shouldn't be all bad news for the Seasiders, who came seventh after a better-than-expected season. Defensively, captain Brown and the now-legendary Bryant should be the central players, with plenty of exciting young players - the hardened Sofyan, possibly overenthusiastic Falconer, and liberal Downing - around them. Cleveland will still lead the line, but will likely be supported by the phalanx of old Trident CS classmates: Burrow casting crosses in her direction, paVepexala and Holliday latching onto balls from Bryant and the defence to push forwards. This is a simple setup, and one it seems amazing to realise many teams have not fully worked out - yet.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Lance-Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 31yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 23yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Lucy Barton [CM; Corporal; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 27yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 32yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 22yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 28yo; she/her]; 15. James Walter [CM; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Mike Chancellor [ST; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 31yo; he/him]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Roger Elliott [56yo; General; he/him]: Finishing eighth out of twelve should not have been considered a lease of life for Elliott; if it was, odds are he has less than a season left. The much-mocked Stone has been sidelined and Barton brought on to replace him, but there's no sign that anyone else in the starting lineup either looks so appalling that they should be swapped out nor so decayed that they should be aged out. Chorley and Bartley are decent strikers; Gould and Wallace decent wingers; Green a decent midfielder; Eldridge and Bone decent fullbacks; Tarrant, after years of quality, a decent goalkeeper. Livingston is, at least, a good centreback - but what else does she have going for her? Very little in this side screams class; more than enough of it screams "what am I doing here?".

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Gavin Parson [GK; 32yo; he/him]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 35yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 28yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 26yo; she/her]; 10. Michelle Tallard [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. James Benson [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Will Edgebrook [LB; 36yo; he/him]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 32yo; she/her]; 17. Patrick Budd [ST; 38yo; he/him]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 24yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Julia Atherton [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [47yo; she/her]: Does anything more need to be said? In fact, does anything need to be said? Atherton will very likely be forced out if she keeps on underwhelming and no wonder: the last truly young gun left is Tallard, while much of the rest of the squad is either getting on in years to a radical degree or among the key players who won the Cup of Harmony. The risk of destabilising the club may be greater by staying as it is than by changing; the onus is on Atherton to disprove that and, if she does, she probably has a few years left at best. Time to say goodbye? I'd say yes.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 32yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 22yo; he/him]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 7. Matt Shilling [LM; 35yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 28yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 23yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 23yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Dominic Partridge [GK; 40yo; he/him]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 32yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Keith Bartlett [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 29yo; he/him]; 18. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [61yo; he/him]: I retract my earlier assessment: the Unicorn is finally adjusting to crisis. Like most teams in the league, this is a relatively stable squad, although now may not have been the right time for radical change. Instead, Jones goes with just the one swap, acquiring Foley in exchange for Tim Hart and $1m. She may be a useful addition to the main squad when Pazorzal retires... which, in his current imperious form, could be a number of years. Mariani is a much better wide player than Shilling is, which may hint at the latter's age more than anything; the three in midfield worked well together despite last year's disruptions, with Monaco spraying the ball onwards to the forward players when she could, and this arrangement is set to continue in 2004. Wood also remains as the leader of the defence and the club, albeit one which has precious little other than Francis going for it nowadays.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 33yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Derry [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 32yo; she/her]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 35yo; he/him]; 10. George Guest [CAPTAIN] [ST; 38yo; he/him]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Collins [LB; 30yo; he/him]; 14. Stephen Shepley [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 15. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 31yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Hazzard [38yo; he/him]: "Hazzard in Danger" makes for a realistic headline as much as it does a fun one. With Simon McCabe betrayed by the board for his handling of Spam Who, his replacement having not won any of his four league games and the second season sacking once more a real risk, he needs to hurry up - and fast. Guest is facing the end of his career but Silliman should be nothing more than a quick fix. Much of the rest of the outfield is unremarkable, with the exception of Lombardo (already one of the best midfielders in the league), Street (a Juventud veteran who has long put the stigma of the Poly behind him) and Jones (another end-of-career man who, conversely, should have enough for a good final flourish). Still, Hazzard has done well in scouting August Wills, who may not be the best player in the books but - by virtue of being nineteen - should at least be one to improve in the future.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Steve Christopher [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 2. Charlotte Ellis [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Alan Long [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 4. James Simpson [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Nalerena paLeratenale [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 6. David Howard [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. Jo Johnson [LM; 19yo; she/her]; 8. Luke Ryan [CAPTAIN] [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Mary Hatton [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Alex Reynolds [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 11. Patrick Trout [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Noah Longwood [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Lucy Brunt [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 14. Ray Smart [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 15. David Wills [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Good [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 17. Darren Taylor [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Tracy Hilton [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [63yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth, and - despite the club's most efficient display to these ends in a generation - he hopes that holding onto the old-timers and only drafting in the necessary new blood will be a more winning recipe. Much of this team now seems doomed to obscurity, although David Howard's rating of "decent enough" stabilised after a passable 2003, Luke Ryan continued to prove his worth against the biggest names in Saint Eleanor and strikers Mary Hatton and Alex Reynolds come highly recommended.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 10
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 9
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

The Celebrities' Season Review (published in The Reporter, Oct-24-2004)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2004     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Independence 1975                  22   14   4   4    28   16  +12    46
 2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   12   5   5    51   37  +14    41
 3 Newbanks United                    22   11   6   5    37   26  +11    39
 4 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   10   5   7    45   39   +6    35
 5 Occidental Olympic                 22    9   7   6    41   33   +8    34
 6 Sword and Shield                   22    8   9   5    43   33  +10    33
 7 Golden Unicorn                     22    8   5   9    36   41   −5    29
 8 Grand Beach                        22    7   7   8    30   30    0    28
 9 Good Hope Club                     22    6   7   9    25   31   −6    25
10 Army and Navy                      22    5   7  10    16   26  −10    22
11 Nova Aegis                         22    2   8  12    32   46  −14    14
12 Juventud                           22    1   8  13    33   59  −26    11

INDEPENDENCE 1975 - by Gexavera zaPravela, founder and chief executive officer of Torch

It's common knowledge, and has been for about twenty years or so, that one in every two-hundred Eleanorians is called Lydia. Hiyashi Celestia's midfield enforcer is a Lydia - as is the leader of Jacobville District Council, the daughter of Occidental Olympic's manager, the anchor of SESB Radio 3's Sunday Breakfast, and the only headteacher in the country to have been appointed before 1975. What people have also been realising is that there's only one Lydia Sharp - and it's clear that she is, perhaps, the only manager who could have led us to the success we've seen in these past few seasons. How else could we have either been at the top of the table, or within a point of it, all season?

This is our eleventh title, more than any other club, and fresh off what marked the end of our longest-ever run without a championship. It is one that could not have been achieved without the hard work of every single player, from the few verging on retirement to the many who look like serious hopes for the future. Sharp, to begin with, has turned a team of also-rans, almost in as much disarray as they were in 1992, into a refreshed, well-oiled unit; the 4-5-1, a consistent formation with good players everywhere, works better than it ever did that year.

You could, if you were feeling cynical, call this "smash-and-grab" football: only three of our fourteen wins were by two goals. But why would you? I've heard the debate about whether Dortmün Çidh really is part of the famous football family; while I'm definitely biased and have no handle on the truth of the matter, my gut will have to say no - he's much, much better than they are. Without his thirteen goals, smattering of assists and excellent positional play on and off the ball, at almost all times, we could not even have challenged. And while people love talking about defeating the smaller teams, it's no use if you can't beat them. Athletic Saint Eleanor won six out of six possible points against us. The sides in the bottom half won four out of thirty-six.

I have good words to put in about our internationals, as well: it's testament to our quality that we have five, and would have six if not for Squidroidia's isolation. Bailey, West and Winchester are still at the heart of our defence, although it's likely that the first two of them will retire sooner rather than later; all of them were astute and on guard for potential threats and it is thanks to them that, much as in previous seasons, we only conceded sixteen goals. Grover and Matsuda were as good as their reputations belied - stopping, I'd say, 90% of every opportunity that could have really gotten past them - and, if not for them, would have left Indy in an even worse state. And, of course, Newcastle was really at the heart of the attack, with his pure, almost fashionable metronomy and excellent capability to get back and defend the most reassuring presence in the stadium on most days.

The younger guns from across the lineup deserve extra praise: Katy Wilson has shown great improvement, despite what looks like a big jolt in the goals conceded statistic, while Gary Morgan on the wing, Adam Tarrant in midfield and Jon Harp in place of Newcastle have all proven they have the potential to shape games by themselves despite their fringe status. If this is how good our outsiders are - and we all know how good the starters are - then when I look at the future of this club, I have to ask myself why not? Why can't we win, and win even more than we do now? The sky is definitely the limit for this team.

ATHLETIC SAINT ELEANOR - by Brad Tucker, only artist to have fifteen #1 singles in the Eleanorian Charts

When you're a fan of the nation's most convincingly entertaining side, you expect them to be both of those things. Was this year's edition of the squad? Definitely - and not without good cause, either. I've heard people say that just bringing in two new players wasn't sufficient, but when they got their chances, Parris and Phillips entertained - ruthlessly. Put one way, Driver got eleven goals to Nightingale's twenty-four. Put another, he has eleven to Parris's five, in twelve substitute appearances.

This is a team that has its mainstays, although maybe not for much longer. Williams is slowly giving up setpieces to Nightingale, but remains fair in open play. Launceston was supremely good and we wouldn't have conceded 37 if everyone was up to her standard. Wlad's been around for a while, but his time mentoring Queen Esther is obviously done and dusted and she needs to take command of the new guy. And while we're talking defence, someone like taFrexala pulled much more of his weight than Newton. Get a new goalie, please, YAO!

This campaign was a dead letter the minute it began; stuttered the minute everyone realised we could beat Indy but we couldn't beat Juventud; and stalled right after we lost to CA Paulinthal. "On Our Way to Glory" is not a phrase that describes our fortunes at this moment, nor did it describe the Cup of Harmony as Miss Launceston hoped. I am not calling this a problem: this team is better than it was last year. The only thing YAO can do is make it even better, and I trust them to do that.

NEWBANKS UNITED - by Jasmine Brook, aka Libby Jameson from hit Channel 4 soap Farley Square... and ex-Marketplace cheergirl

When my mum got a divorce fifteen years ago, we moved back to the Marketplace where she grew up - and, fortunately, right on time for me to serve a full tour of duty with the cheerleaders. I still like to think I really grew up in Newbanks, though, which is why I was pleased to see them and the area finally represented in the Saint Eleanor League in 1999 and even prouder to watch them land right in the IFCF spots after a long, hard and really fun season. The most glaringly obvious place to start would be Rachel McNamara: a better striker today than Crawshaw ever was, she was a helpful team player - and an overall joy to watch - just as much as she was the leading lady, tied with Ishida on twelve.

It takes a lot to win five in a row in the later stages, even in this league. Calling it a team effort would be a truism. Thanking Hamnet Borysov in particular would be accurate: in the prime of his doomed-to-be-short career as an Inkling, he had a hand in half of the ten goals scored in that run and, even outside of it, proved to be a moderate but irresistible force. The midfield as a whole unit was particularly strong, as well, and it's hard to see where they didn't come in handy. Well done Polly Ground for making a good first impression, congratulations to Hawkins on remaining one of Saint Eleanor's best goalkeepers and hats off to the centrebacks for showing they're as good as the stuff they're made of.

Third place truly needed all hands on deck - especially, as some of my friends like pointing out to me, the MSG. It wasn't only them, however: the entire squad recognised how important the situation was and worked to make the club community proud. That is something they certainly did and I can hope that Ian Graham doesn't go too wild in the transfer market, which I've been told is going to be a general bonanza. There's a sense of "e need him, even if he doesn't think we need us!"

HIYASHI CELESTIA - by Lara Smith, model, actress and singer based in Mytanija

Let me make one thing clear first of all: I am not Mevlica Kusturika. She has three million followers on Cicada. I have none - I'm too busy to block off any time for the internet, too poor to have a reliable permanent PR staff, and too attached to the hour I spend reading The Reporter each morning to give it up. I'm not as dignified (normally), I'm not as popular and I imagine I have nowhere near as many posters of me stuck up on Mytanar bedroom walls. "Uninnovative, pale imitation" would also be a very good description of how Celestia have performed this season - and what a shame it is.

Is there anything I could say about this squad that Jamie Rodgers did not say before the season began? Possibly not, although I'll try my best to point out that Joe Galbraith did a bit more than people expected, Andrew Mann was lucky not to have been sent off all season, Shojiro Ito is one of the best goalkeepers in the world and - while Isi Šasawić made a couple of big mistakes - we should forgive him for them and hope he keeps cracking on with the job. You'll note I haven't said anything about Takeshi Honda (other than twenty goals) nor Goldsmith or Nicholls because it is just so obvious what they've done. If you think I'm disappointed at just how average and predictable this one-time superteam was, you'd better believe it; you'll be disappointed in 2007, too.

There is one silver lining, however personal: I grew up in Trident; both of my parents worked at the dock. It was and is considered outright sacrilege to support anyone other than the Good Hope Club. What is also the case is that they moved down from Broadlands in '77 because there was nothing there and something very important here. I was instantly enamoured by Celestia, but it took me until I finished my exams and was spotted by a Mytanar talent agency in December 1999 before I could truly support them. (Sorry, Good Hope, but at least you're still my #2 love!) They've finished eighth (give or take a place) every year since, no matter how much they try to change, and I still think they should have made the IFCF at least once. We finished behind three much stronger teams, we've made the IFCF every single year and played in the Challengers' Cup groups twice - yet I still think this season was underwhelming and showed a lack of ambition across the club. Prayer might be our only option now.

OCCIDENTAL OLYMPIC - by Joe Wilkie, owner of the National Trade Supplies Centre

Olympic has its fanbase. Most of it is honest, proud and local - although there's a good chunk from elsewhere in the nation that are helplessly democratic and want a team to support that's neither the army, the government, the institutions nor the chamber of commerce but aren't utterly terrible. This season, however, every fan got their money's worth. Why? Because every player knew their task, and stuck to it. This is the kind of thing you can read about in the most basic text about the modern Olympic way but it is being executed, perfectly.

The defence is staying back, not making too much of a fuss, and only pushing up when they need it. The wide players are getting the ball sparingly, focused on distracting the opposition and knowing how to weave a good cross. Glenn French, in defensive midfield, is making the absolute most of his space and position and having a good time doing it. The attacking three have remarkably good synergy and are always willing to swap places with each other and move about a bit. What does that give you? It gives you the IFCF places, by the skin of your teeth, and more delight than you can shake a stick at. More like this next year, thank you!

SWORD AND SHIELD - by Graham McIlhenny, presenter of the News at Six on TV1

I haven't asked this question in the Steele era, but I'll go ahead and ask it: what were we thinking? Jessica Martin was good enough or otherwise she wouldn't be the captain. Roanoke was good, although - a bit like David Newcastle - he has to be or else he wouldn't be Hugh Roanoke. Arielle Richardson was, although by a whisker, and you could make the case for Christine Terrence and (when he appeared) Parecava geExhecela to be in those echelons too. Other than that, these were average-looking players. A team that looks halfway to being average and halfway to being good goes nowhere.

The reason I'm not calling the players themselves average is simple: they aren't. They are better than a sorry sixth-placed finish which wraps up months of fluctuation and doubt. They are better than losing to the Para Wanderer's, better than only winning one of their first five, better than regularly failing to win games against the teams that could most obviously be beaten. The problem lies in the complete lack of focus; Sylvia Hollenberg would have stabilised this ship but, at this moment, all we can do is hope for a first-ever foreign signing or wait until somebody tries to reinvent the wheel again. I know exactly what I want next season.

GOLDEN UNICORN - by Charlotte Burton, winner of 150 billion talars ($2.6m) on a Cousethii Lottery scratchcard in 2001

What does two-and-a-half million dollars mean, really? It's four times bigger than the annual wage of the best-paid player in the league. It's an order of magnitude more than the highest prize on Saint Eleanor's new lottery. If you're anything like me, it's an excuse to quit your dead-end job selling fruit in the local market, put your degree in fine art to proper use and maybe offer a few donations to local galleries in need. And maybe, just maybe, the Golden Unicorn - my Golden Unicorn - could have spent it on meaningful transfers rather than swapping out dead-end players.

Jaclyn Foley was, I'll accept, the best substitute we've had in a while and we're largely indebted to her for getting us a draw against Indy - and a very, very late win against Newbanks United - towards the back end of the season. It's certainly a different story with the starting lineup, however. You have the big names, the members of the national team: Wood, Pazorzal, Francis - and Mariani, who is loving life at the club however dormant Macbon may be. We know why those lot are good. Do we have any idea, at all, why anyone else is? I don't. They haven't impressed at all and, while I'd love a full clear-out, maybe Ian Jones could start by buying a few million-dollar players and putting them in position. The chemistry won't be good, but it'll be better than today and we won't be in the midtable mire yet again.

I don't normally keep in touch with my follow winners on the Cousethi lottery - in part because the organisers barely know what they're doing, although I won't question their wisdom in promising a "Ŧ10bn top prize" with "nine chances to win" and then printing a scratchcard with three of the top prize and both multipliers. But I do talk to Megan Harbrough, who won $42m in the Krytenian lottery many moons ago and used the proceeds to fund a motorway service station on the border with Mertagne. She's an Olympic fan and, most of the time she gets, will keep ribbing at me over how bad the Unicorn's setup is. She's right - and somebody other than the Novalkian hedge fund needs to run it. I don't have enough money, though; sorry.

GRAND BEACH - by Michael Blake, host of TV3 game show More or Less

Let's use a timely metaphor here: before the season began, I offered Julia seventh place. More or less? Remember, making the wrong decision could cost you everything. You have thirty seconds to decide. I'll use one paragraph to explain: thankfully for her, although sadly for the fans and the board, she was on the pessimistic side. The wins over Indy and Arsenal in midseason were well done, as were the results surrounding them, but many of the apparent successes were mirages of flat-track bullying and the side soon came crashing down to earth. Our other winners today include the national team members, who proved to be the true heart of the squad, Tallard for taking the initiative most of the time and Halbrook for supporting her. But I'm afraid that Westwood, Martins, and Parson in particular all walk away empty-handed; they made the right noises but proved to be somewhere between boring and counterproductive and should be replaced. I'm not the manager, but if I was, I'd be really thinking about everyone's position.

GOOD HOPE CLUB - by Noah Jackson, chief financial officer of United Road Management

Smooth and efficient are my watchwords and, despite the disappointing performance, those are words that describe Good Hope this year. There are a few good players about, although I don't think I can go without praising Yusuf Sofyan for being everything an Eleanorian defender should be while being a Pemecutanian; the rest of the defence was morally soft, as always, but he provided the much-needed counterbalance and helped make ninth place look like a hard-earned achievement. Keeping onto him is guaranteed; the challenge is onboarding him onto Team Pemecutan. Mary Kirkport, a Good Hope defender herself, knows the culture as well as anyone and should be relied on to stay the course in the future.

The back five-and-a-half was excellent; the front five-and-a-half was not. (And I apologise to Charlotte Bryant for this: we know you have a new girlfriend but there are other things you need to do on the pitch.) The Class of 1982 was a strong generation but I felt like the players - despite getting clear roles - weren't really doing what they were supposed to. Aaron Burrow was worse at this than anyone else: he's supposed to be the playmaker out wide but, too often, was neither of those things. Amanda Cleveland was excellent, although she's 6'1'' and powerful so you get what you pay for!

ARMY AND NAVY - by Charles Trump, hero of the War of Independence

On normal occasions, I never - never, ever, ever, ever - comment on football. The last time I did so in public was thirteen years ago, where I congratulated the Sword and Shield on defeating Army and said that Jessica Martin, at the time still a University student, "has a bright future ahead of her, if she can earn it." She has most certainly earned it; meanwhile, Army has reached the bottom of its downwards slope, and is not going anywhere quickly. I will not talk about the players here: all of them are good, honourable members and I see nothing to fault in them. What I do fear is the system they have been inserted in.

It is a system that is supposed to reward effort, but no longer does. General Roger Elliott used to know this. He scouted the Army League every year, brought back the best players and let them bring in four titles in twelve years. There has been nothing since 1991, which - by some miracle - is roughly when he decided to treat Army as a regular football club. It is not a regular football club. It is the microcosm of the best the Army has to offer. Ignore this and become the only service member who can be squarely mocked in public without fear of punishment.

I never normally comment on football, but this is not a normal situation. Not since Phillip Cohen, now with Swangard Athletic, singlehandedly disassembled the side in their one and only Challengers' Cup tie has Elliott been able to bank on fielding the same players, or something resembling it, every week - every season - then naively assuming that the team will be right as rain and, once more, serious challengers. He kept doing so until central command rightly issued a honourable discharge for him, effective at the end of this month. The search will be on for a replacement then, and it will not be pretty.

NOVA AEGIS - by Emma Morgan, "Red Light Girl" and one-time escort of George Guest

Let's call it what it is - prostitution - not, as some flubby-wubby liberals from the posh districts like to call it, "sex work." It's fun, it's raunchy, it's made me possibly the only person in the history of the EHS to get two abortions (condoms optional) and I still get to go to church without anyone complaining about "scandal." But maybe not if I write about it in Saint Eleanor's favourite newspaper. Oops! Even if I'm thrown out of Sunday morning service, one thing I will never miss is Saturday afternoon football - not unless, as I did ten years ago, I mount a one-woman pitch invasion calling for the manager to resign and get slapped with a three-match stadium ban.

First things first: I'm normally bound by client confidentiality, let's say, but there was some furore in 1991 when word got out that George Guest offered quite the generous payment for my services. You'd expect me to have kind words for him - and I have in years past - but not this time. He's 38 years old, well past his prime and possibly still in the squad out of alleged necessity. Lenham was, by some distance, better... even Silliman was better, and he made Guest look silly most of the time. Pickings are similarly slim and a touch less mature in midfield, but Alessio Lombardo definitely shouldn't be in the squad either. He's too good - much too good.

Now that Spam Who - or, as some of the louder fans would have it, "Spam Why" - is out, we get the delights of August Wills, at nineteen years old similarly unsuited. Did he concede two goals a game? Certainly. Did he have the first inklings of a good, solid and rather unpretentious goalkeeper? Impressions always deceive, but yes. If anybody must be pointed at and laughed towards for their contributions to this once-again sorry state of affairs, though, it would be Mike Derry; if only he would have stayed unremarkable, he would be a good player.

Today's my 35th birthday. I've seen things - or, to be more precise, just about everything that's ever happened at the club. I was even there for their first home match in 1975. One thing I have not seen before is the degree of utter collapse on show this year: not even Aegis can get away with not winning any of their second-half games, never mind throwing out Paul Hazzard and replacing him with a member of back-office staff that knows even less about professional football. Can I have my go, please? My credentials include getting fucked, making a tidy sum from it and being avoided by the rest of society for the privilege.

JUVENTUD - by Edward Davidson, leader of Buckhead District Council

We have a saying in our small "band of bothers:" the only antidote to a bad season is a crap season. By any reasonable account, this was a crap season. People hate it when we don't roll over and surrender, and while this was far from our best side of recent times - it's based on possibly our worst ever - it once more showed itself capable of taking the giants down a notch and making people take notice. We started the season with a draw, held Nova Aegis twice, beat Athletic Saint Eleanor and won points against many of the big teams; we definitely should have made the case for second-bottom.

So who tried to defend that case? Easy questions deserve easy answers: Luke Ryan, Alex Reynolds and Charlotte Ellis. Captains of Juventud always deserve it and Ryan showed why: depressingly few players since Bridget Coombe, unfortunately an alumna of the damned University, have both tried to wrap around the entire midfield and not look foolish in doing so, and it is this category he falls into. Reynolds was the more effective of the two new strikers, smashing past the club's single-season record with fourteen goals and looking almost natural as he sifted through the box whenever he could... except when he was piling away. And while people will naturally point to David Howard as the key defender, Ellis deserves more credit for going from a virtual nobody to someone who can regularly run the line, put in a good tackle and offer serious attacking chances.

It's well-known that Juventud only field students from the Polytechnic and that the team selection is almost always highly dubious. I may be a high-ranking Army officer but there's zilch I can do about that, short of joining the academic staff. If I could have one vintage player back in the team, though, it would definitely be Tim Hart. He wasn't thriving at all after getting shunted to the Unicorn, but his debut season at the Veriasod Wolves in Tikariot so far has been seriously impressive. Eight goals and one assist in the last eight games - including the brace that would have, if not for some last-minute tinkering by the authorities, doomed the once-mighty Tikariot City to relegation - is nothing to be sniffed at. If only he was that good for us...

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Aug 19, 2023 11:56 pm

OOC: Without spoiling anything in advance - which is rich of me since I always spoil the SEL winners in the CTS post - thanks to Farf for supplying the prop for the second-to-last award. The nominee will, some time around 2008-09, settle down and teach ~~English~~ Terranean as a second language in a nice, quiet secondary school somewhere in Al-Tamazgha. And by "settle down" I mean "convert her irresponsible party-girl attitude into a nice, dainty slice of caustic wit so she isn't immediately struck off by the head."

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2004 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Hiyashi Celestia: 2 (1999, 2000)
Independence 1975: 2 (2002, 2003)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

INDEPENDENCE 1975 - WINNERS OF THE 2004 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 64

1. John Bailey [he/him]
2. Cathy Winchester [she/her]
3. Donald Hutchings [he/him]
4. Layla Grover [Tikariot; she/her]
5. Katy Wilson [she/her]
6. Liam West (C) [he/him]
7. David Newcastle [he/him]
8. Kichirō Matsuda [Squidroidia; Wunderbar; he/him]
9. Dortmün Çídh [Farfadillis; he/him]
10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [he/him]
11. Keira Monaghan [she/her]
12. Robby Ellis [he/him]
13. Joshua Tanner [he/him]
14. Lucia McCaul [she/her]
15. Jon Harp [he/him]
16. Adam Tarrant [he/him]
17. Henry Green [he/him]
18. Gary Morgan [she/her]

Manager: Lydia Sharp [she/her]

RESULTS OF THE 2004 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team) 2–4 Golden Unicorn
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–3 Hiyashi Celestia
Grand Beach CS (Grand Beach youth team) 0–0 Newbanks United (0–2 AET)
Juventud 5–3 Nova Aegis
Grand Beach 1–0 Sword and Shield
Army and Navy 3–1 Occidental Olympic
Saint Benedict's Catholic (independent CTS team) 0–1 Good Hope Club
Girls' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 0–3 Independence 1975

Quarterfinals
Golden Unicorn 1–1 Juventud (2–1 AET)
Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Grand Beach (1–2 AET)
Independence 1975 1–0 Army and Navy
Good Hope Club 0–2 Newbanks United

Semifinals
Grand Beach 1–2 Independence 1975
Newbanks United 0–1 Golden Unicorn

THE FINAL
Golden Unicorn 0–1 Independence 1975

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

The Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony
presented each year by the University's Football Society
The FootSoc president is Will Stevens (3rd year; international relations)

Most Devastating Car Fire: Delta Bennett (girlfriend of James Pittam)
I would love to have had given this award to Rachel McNamara. Nobody in this part of the world really needs a "compact SUV" or whatever Hiyashi is calling it: it's too big for the city and too preppy for the actual off-road bits - which, I have it on authority, is everywhere outside the city. No, thankfully for whoever her insurance company is: instead, we must look towards her newly-inducted teammate and his girlfriend, James Pittam and Delta Bennett respectively, who thought it would be a good idea to drive him all the way to... erm, the glorious Grand Beach. This would be a wise idea if her car hadn't spontaneously combusted a few hundred yards out, forcing him to evacuate, her to call the fire brigade and only turn up eighty minutes into the game, in which time she did absolutely nothing. Fires and explosions in Eleanorian football seem to come around every three years from my experience and this one was easily the worst of them all, not least because I have it on even better authority it was a Farf-made car. But there's more, and SEFA isn't at fault, either.

Most Devastating Dumpster Fire: Athletic Saint Eleanor
Wow. Just... wow. You spend a year preparing for the greatest cup competition in the world, you're fresh off what is most certainly the second most successful season of anyone in the league, you blow it away like this - and you aren't even one of the Chuck Trump invitations. To be clear, this is not a bad Hiyashi Celestia team... but it is arguably the worst in their few short years of existence. To be even clearer, Takeshi Honda is still there. Swat him away the Reds could not as he had a hand in every single goal, menaced his opposition on a scale he is far too often mobbed of at the club level, and generally helped his team to a quarterfinal berth in their own right. You could say Athletic conceded 37 goals in 22 games, but I'll definitely say that a representative sample is no match for an unrepresentative one.

Most Devastating Firing: Roger Elliott (Army and Navy)
Elliott was discharged from the Army on October 31st. Just one problem... the Showcase began on October 30th. No problemo, said George Mitcham or whoever does this (probably George Mitcham), who promptly tried to find... a replacement. Lo and behold, Harry Brown, a nondescript Lieutenant promoted to the role on the most interim basis possible - the one where you're guaranteed NOT to scoop the final job. While he probably expected to be ushered out before his predecessor was meant to be, instead it was Occidental Olympic fans everywhere - of which there are either few or many depending on who you ask - were distraught as the new-look Army swept past them by a relatively astonishing two-goal margin. They went out in the quarters, but by then the "damage" was done.

Most Devastating Burn: Jaclyn Foley (Golden Unicorn)
It is well-known that all Eleanorians have a dry sense of humour. Even if they weren't born here. Even if they left the island many, many years ago. Even if they're completely serious most of the time. Even if... they're not even Eleanorian. Having set out - at least according to internal documents seen by The Reporter, which is always right - to challenge "the Big Two" or something like that, Newbanks United ended up falling to one of the Little Nine in the semifinals as the Unicorn defeated them 1-0. Asked about the win after the match, relatively new signing Jaclyn Foley was absolutely insistent that, and I quote directly, "you can't expect to defeat teams by just turning up for matches." Foley did turn up for all of eight minutes towards the end, which just makes this even more embarrassing for the MFG PR HQ.

Most Devastating Fake Fire: A select few Indy fans at the final
Nobody in Saint Eleanor does flares - in the social rather than the economic sense of doing objects, of course. Anyway, seeing a small handful of Indy ultras bring orange flares, and not even blue ones, may have been a bit disconcerting for the final security staff... does Saint Eleanor do ultras? I've been up for way too long and won't think about this further. I'm handing over to Bri now.

Brianna Austen Award for Humiliation: The 2004 Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony
Guys, could you please try and talk about the football next time? Please? I suppose that's what happens when you put an IR student in charge of presenting awards for a domestic competition.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Aug 19, 2023 11:57 pm

Reflections on the IFCF

I75 >>> Kichirō Matsuda: In a Sense, We Were Winners Too

I sometimes like to joke that "I'm a nerd, not an essayist." I do, however, have enough of a bearing on international football to know that this wasn't exactly a banner year for Eraman's biggest clubs. First Anara crash out against Athletic Saint Eleanor and then, albeit in a fashion so torturous that we had to wrestle the lead out of their hands for most of the fixture, we pick off Royal Daulapura. While a group stage was assured after that, we had to defeat Adab United to stay in the Champions' League rather than drop down a level. It's a bit ironic when you see that CASK Thorsborg were the last side to eliminate them from the competition and they won - that was 2001 - but, when we secured a victory in circumstances that were much more comfortable in reality than it was on paper, we were drawn against Chromatik, Aminey and the Alligators and we felt like we had no hope at all. I didn't, at least. I'm a bit of a cynic, too.

The initial goal was to do better than Athletic when they had their go in 1999; they managed four points yet somehow came very close to the Challengers' Cup knockouts. Yet when Chromatik came over for round one, there was no sign that this would happen. I recognise every single player in their team, except a few of their subs, and I was certainly convinced that everyone contributed to that... 4-0 win? Hold on a second; we aren't normally that dysfunctional. The Metropolis Alligators were, let's say, a slightly more unknown quantity; we beat them 2-1 away from home and that was pretty much the end of all our adventuring on the road.

The Aminey double-header after that was a huge challenge, and one we were lucky to escape from alive. I've been warning my teammates about shadow-striker disease since I got off the plane a few years ago, but this time I don't think they wanted to listen and... whatshisface... Bon...stir...ithinden, if I've gotten his name right, got the two goals he needed past John Bailey. We regrouped for the home leg, however, shut them up and drew level with Athletic's years-old points tally with two games left. These people are definitely capable of learning, however little a few of our fans think they've gotten everything sorted. And as if that wasn't enough, we kept the scoreline against Chromatik respectable this time around as well - and if it wasn't for Lili Marinca we'd have probably gotten off with another point as well.

So, with us knowing as little as we do about the Alligators, I think the table is the best way to tell the story of the last matchday. We were right at the bottom and, in order to make the next round, needed to beat them and hope Chromatik kept up their immense run of success. Any slippage by either of us would put us out of all competitions, except if we drew and they won by a lot. Of course, this ends with all the right boxes being checked and us being drawn against Arlington City in the last sixteen. The 4-3 win at home was... unexpected, but I'd say also a bit uncharacteristic, and a result that required probably more haggling from us than either of the Royal Daulapura matches.

What happened next, as you all know, was we lost 4-0 and were eliminated from the last sixteen in possibly the most capitulant fashion possible. Put another way, being blown away by a team that doesn't have a reputation for blowing teams away - and one from Zwangzug, too - wasn't an optimal outcome. Or, yet another way, Eleanorian weather is crap and normally not very reliable... I'll stop now. We might have lost but, in a sense, we were winners too - we broke our second-qualifying-round curse by just skipping it, we made it through our group in the most dramatic fashion possible and managed to put up a good fight for most of our knockout tie. And, mercifully, I did not get myself sent off.

I don't have a girlfriend, at least not yet. What I do have is the TV, the internet and some good friends, many of which I made at the Eleanorian Academy. I was talking to a few of them at the National Liberation Club during the first leg of Arlington's quarterfinal and there were two points of agreement: firstly, that Indy had done exceptionally well for themselves; and secondly, that I was doing quite a good job at linking the two "halves" of the side together and would perhaps even continue to do so for quite a way in the future - although that certainly isn't my call to make. They were split on whether the 1-0 loss reflected Arlington's true quality, however, which I suspect might be telling. If you were wondering how the Cygnus Cup went, don't bother; it was a typical last-sixteen botch job.

EleAc >>> Sam Jacobs: Try That On For Size, Please

There are two kinds of teams you play in the RSC group stages. One of them are the OGs, the people like the Chromatik U-18s who are serious about youth, serious about football and serious about actually getting on with things. And then there are the co-opted stragglers that just take up the name of their parent clubs who you never see play in any youth league I've ever read about in the back pages of The Reporter. I'm thankful that we got one of the serious clubs in the group stages - and not only that, but we held them to a 1-1 draw. You won't be surprised to know that it was Reile Dwyer with the goal.

Unfortunately, it was co-optees all the way down from there. Credit to the Metropolis Alligators for, according to this book I've read, having a team in the Torneo Federal de Reservas; tongue-twister, I know, but they don't do foreign languages at school. They didn't quite win it, though, so into this tournament they go and they only went and beat us 1-0. It was a tough match, and the scoreline was fair now that I think about it, but maybe we could have done a bit more to suppress their attacking lines. The Aminey games were much better; we won 3-2 away, thanks to a couple of goals from our striker Rachel Brown and precisely one goal from me, and then managed to fluke up a 1-1 draw after we got an equaliser about this far into stoppage time. Anything left to lose, I thought? Apparently so, and it wasn't that bad either.

We'd gotten ourselves into an early lead at their place, but got pulled back and stayed that way at half time. All of a sudden, Dwyer popped up right after the restart to give them the lead, although we hit back pretty quickly. Rachel slotted in what we all thought was something close to the winner with twenty minutes left, but not before a certain somebody found the net even later to deny us a win and at least save their dignity for the time being. Yes, it might have been Dwyer yet again, but unlike the seniors, we not only got results against this Chromatik but had serious fun while doing so. Try that on for size, please! It's a pity we had to lose by two against the Metro Allies - we did have to win that game or else we wouldn't have made the knockouts, although they lost so more fool them.

ASE >>> Stuart Norton: It's One Thing Losing to Bridget Coombe...

Every good story starts at the beginning, but some of our fans seem to think it started against Crisisbless. It did not, but we managed to annihilate Anara of Eraman in the round before and I might as well skip over it. What is of note is that Crisisbless is insanely good. They won the Zenith this year! Their team has Woodcarver, Anne-Marie Roux... Constantine... Robineau... and really, the team's less household-namey the deeper into defence you go. They were 3-1 up eighty minutes into the first leg, largely thanks to the people I mentioned, but Tim Driver pulled one back, Graham Lawson got the so-called winner in the second, we struggled through extra time and watched them collapse in a penalty shootout. What is it with Eleanorians these days and penalty shootouts? I'll never know, but we survived ours and that's what counts.

The next tie was always going to be a bit of a challenge and, as expected, Latrobe Athletic destroyed us on their patch. It was 4-0, but we did at least have the dignity only to lose by one goal in Whitehammer. With all that said, it's one thing losing to Bridget Coombe, and never mind that Hermann Eld was the real mastermind behind that result; a different thing entirely to be reading about what clubs in Kelssek could be doing in the transfer market and realising that absolutely nothing is certain about the teams. Or foreign personnel access, but I'm not the one whose parents work in the media.

It's probably safe to say that our opener won't be remembered in the annals of Athletic history as much as us pretty much swatting away Holdenberg without too much of a fight from them - although they did hold us to a draw at home - is. Kennard Hale making us look foolish is one thing; Kennard Hale scoring once, setting up the other and completely reversing our two-goal advantage over the last half an hour is another and - it being Scott City away, Darmen's favourites, and all - I'd have fancied them to have tried to embarrass me further. Why they did not is a mystery.

The key words for the midstretch of the campaign are simple: success, success, success and more success. Sporting Nooooooooooooooooooordende: YES. That doesn't spell "success," but bursting into a 2-0 lead with hardly any of the match having elapsed, grabbing hold of it and preventing any serious chances is definitely what I'd call a success. Chongjibo, part one: success. I'll leave it to one of our brasher teammates to rub their "Best Team in Naixi" status in their face, but they had barely any idea what to do with their early lead and we quickly shut up what is probably one of three or four up-to-standard stadiums in the entire country. Chongjibo, part two: success. This was actually a tighter game than the first and, if we're talking intensity and duration, Kian Zhi Yuan gave us more hell than anyone else in the group stage. He deserved the Golden Boot in the league, which I'm told he won, but the match was never theirs for the taking and Lady N made sure of that.

The last two group stage games, like our qualifiers, were entertaining but underwhelming. We'd strung together a pair of 2-2 draws, but the first at home to Scott City was the result of the opposition catching a couple of breaks. SCFC weren't challenging for the knockouts for no reason and, again, we would have lost if we hadn't brought on the woman who won the fucking Golden Backpack two years ago and they hadn't made her look like Jessica Martin. The second was definitely a very lucky result; Sporting rode us all the way on their own turf and deserved to draw back our lead both times.

It meant we topped the group anyway, but I would have definitely preferred less heart attacks in the process and I thought CA Paulinthal - who won the very competition eight years ago, actually - were going to destroy us. No prizes for guessing but it was Vâásk Çêwé who sucked the life out of our season in the end. He scored once at home, we somehow got a 2-2 draw and I thought that was impressive. Then he went to our place, set up Eustacio Correz Magana for an opener after three minutes, scored twice on his own and allowed Nightingale to slot home a consolation. I wouldn't have voted for this outcome, but the IFCF never isn't entertaining when you're under YAO's wing and I'm proud to say I boarded this particular rollercoaster. Now to see if the boss thinks I need replacement like they've been thinking for a while...

HyC >>> Andrew Mann: I Told You Nobody Likes Galaxy

"Lucky bastards" would describe us a good portion of the time. Last time around, we knocked out Herzegovina City on penalties - yes, the same City that made the last eight of the Champions' League this year. Meanwhile, we were back at our old stomping grounds, trying to consolidate our advantage against the Damascus Steelers for 150 minutes, giving up as soon as they scored the final goal of the tie and then scraping past on penalties after they missed number twelve. The previous eleven in the shootout went in, but you can't push your luck too far after the tenth. Nor was this a pragmatic decision, although Rachel Schanke might think it was in fact part of a perfect ploy to conserve our energy for the next tie; just us not really finding our way past them in extra time, which we should have done.

We needed to win three ties to make the groups. That was number one. The second was against Galaxy SC; they have Biscuit Gilbert, a man I'd assume Lydia at least would be intimately familiar with from World Cup qualifiers past, and a couple of active national teamers from Xanneria and Southwest Eastnorth, but the consensus in terms of weakest links was that the bottom gradually started dropping out after that and we had more staying power. The ranks beared it out. Still, it didn't matter: it was Anamarie Amber, the young gun a few of us hadn't properly factored, who got them in, kept them in and arguably made them stay in.

When the home leg came, it was Roman Torshen who wound up double-tapping us; we were 2-0 down at half time and, while we drew back the match - Takeshi Honda and then Robert Williams to thank, both with pretty good strikes - we couldn't draw back the tie. I was at Nobusuke's face at full-time telling him "I told you nobody likes Galaxy. The Xannerians don't, Indy and their fans don't and now we certainly don't." I mean, we definitely didn't. Fourth place would, I'd say, be roughly as expected for us - but being knocked out of the IFCF at such an early stage, particularly when we've established a reputation in Saint Eleanor for being Challengers' Cup specialists, definitely stings.

OcO >>> Heather Blake: This Isn't As Good As It Gets

One thing I don't think a lot of people clocked, what with the Big Two having their runs, is that every Eleanorian team in the Challengers' Cup won their first qualifying tie. In our case, that was Regiis Dreamland of the Brookstation league; from what I can gather, they've been fairly slick on the domestic front, but they proved to be a bit disjointed on the international stage and we could easily pick apart their defence for a win in both legs. It would be unfair of me to pick an absolute worst performer... but, I think I'll say, Emilio Couto didn't exactly have a griphold on me when I pushed forward in the later stages of both legs.

First City, from Delaclava, proved to be a completely different story. If we run the rule over the league's official team of last season, we get three players from the club. Wiseman wasn't good in the traditional sense but - when the backline wasn't giving away goals in the pursuit of something or other - he was absolutely relentless. Atkinson and Kleinmann were the attacking unit you'd expect them to be and they came together for a good number of the goals, although definitely not in the order you'd expect all the time. I wish I could have called this a bit of a ding-dong encounter, but most of it was us trying to chase a one- or two- or even three-goal deficit much of the time and we had to pay for that.

What I can definitely say is that this isn't as good as it gets. Olympic has perhaps the best youth pipeline in the nation - normally I'm on the sidelines but I was proud to have been brought on for Steve Pilchard in the first three games. We're starting to challenge for the IFCF again after a couple of years in the doldrums, we have a good core and all else being equal, we should start to actually be good out wide quite soon. Put all that together and you have a good team - if not one that could win a second title a few years down the line. If we can get to the point where this kind of performance is an embarrassment rather than an achievement, I'll be proud.

S&S >>> Alexandra Marcus: A Somewhat More Excusable Failure

It's one thing playing a team from a league that wasn't even organised this year so they had to facsimile the previous year's forms; a different thing entirely when you're playing against two of them in a row. Everyone expected us to get past Arenes FC and we did that by some margin, to cut an unnecessary story short. Where I'm really going to cast a sceptical eye is on the Para Wanderer's Football Club of Ancherion, who finished comfortably in sixth a few years ago and have been surviving ever since. That they did a number on us definitely wasn't my fault, although I'll admit I could have been more proactive in attack as people have been asking of me for years now.

What happened was that they were surprisingly effective. You put one person in the danger zone, that's bad. You put two people there and you gut your attack. Drop one back, leave the other two to run the line, wait for distractions and you basically have an unshakable gauntlet of attackingness, for want of a better word. This was a whole-pitch failure and we need to be looking across the pitch to see how we can improve, something I'm confident Emma's going to do over the next year as she has been lately. Two defeats followed as surely as two losses and, while I can't say I'm surprised given the current state of the squad, we should have at least pretended to offer up a fight - maybe even lose on penalties if we were willing to go that far.

Snark aside, this was a somewhat more excusable failure than our crushings at the hands of Brinemouth and Galatica these past two cycles. The Para Wanderer's don't have that punch and they're a fairly unknown quantity to Eleanorians, but both legs were tense and I'd honestly say we were unlucky not to get away with anything. We were a bit shaky in the league this year so no repeat - good news or bad, depending on what you're thinking - but this might be Sylvia's departure at work and we should get new, better players in time!

PrmCS >>> Wendy Smith: Save Our Soups

I was talking to Adam Penny, the goalkeeper, a couple of weeks before our first group game and made the point that no Eleanorian school had ever lost in the first round of the Youth Champions' Path before. He looked at me and said something along the lines of "oh my, we'll have to hope it doesn't happen to us." I won't break the bad news to him, though, because he's well aware. Wunokalsi Waridi, a team whose name I've only just realised how to say correctly, proved to be harder than we supposed and it's no accident they made the round of sixteen - and perhaps should have gone further. We'd gotten their number early on, but they responded with two neat goals after half time and left us chasing after an equaliser which we needed and, thank God, ultimately got.

In the end, in the midst of a boring second leg, it was one of their wider midfielders - I don't really pay attention to which - who killed off our hopes, at the Proving Grounds of all places. They bopped a free-kick in, let it go over everyone's head, then all of a sudden Adam's been beaten and we have absolutely no idea how to get back into the game. I mean it: our team was disorganised, chaotic and definitely not able to find any way past their defence - and, in the end, it was 1-0 them on the night and 3-2 overall. If it helps, I like to think the Tropicorp Youth Challenge is one of the highest-intensity youth competitions in the world; the Charles Trump Shield is certainly the most cut-throat, at least, but the gap in quality showed a bit this time.

As a little aside, Brian Hurd, the captain, somehow knows how to make soup and sometimes invites a few of us round to his place to imbibe. He said he was too stressed too after the result but it turns out the day after the match, a Thursday, he was perfectly fine, so I mounted a little campaign at lunchtime giving him an SOS signal: Save Our Soups! In the end, he obliged and asked us to come over on Friday afternoon - although I must emphasise that football was not discussed at that meeting.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sat Nov 04, 2023 4:53 pm

OOC: The final teaser paragraph was cleared with Above. The rest of this was cleared with Queb. Also, pay good attention to that nice little cottage; it'll become very, very important when Davies retires from professional football in approximately ten IFCF cycles.

DREAM HOMES WITH DANIEL HOLDEN: Will Exandra's Jolbo dream rise from the ashes?

Since I started writing this column in 2001, it's safe to say I've had quite a few faces turn up. We've had famous people, we've had Eleanorians moving completely outside Saint Eleanor and we've had major disasters. One thing we have not had, until now, is all three of these. Exandra Davies of national team fame - and her long-time girlfriend, Quebecois martial artist Rachaelle Hernandez - were recently forced to decamp in a hotel room in Jolbonopolis, Quebec. Their home in the city, where Davies plays her club football, was destroyed after water burst from the pipes and touched a live wire, setting off a fire that burned the place down. With just a couple of weeks to go until the start of the Q-League season, they need to get a move on... and fast.

EXANDRA: Rachaelle was taking part in a minor MMA contest that day and obviously I wanted to be her so I was pretty much stood up in the front row all that time. It was only when we got back to the local metro station that somebody told me that our house had burned down while we weren't there. I didn't want to believe it, but it was true!

If we're strictly speaking, I didn't lose everything... the football stuff was with Charlotte, my ex, when I was visiting her over Christmas - our time, not theirs. Everything else is out, although that's really just the electric guitar and all the typical middle-class things so on that front, I'd say it would be relatively easy to get back to something like normal. No, I'm not middle-class; it's just that the Eleanorians have never been good at wasting their money on stuff and Rachaelle cares slightly less for it. If I may ask, couldn't this have happened next year? That's the 200th anniversary of the great fire!

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: Exandra is good at quite a few things, but her history isn't up to scratch here. It's well-documented that the fire that laid waste to most of Jolbonopolis happened in 1868. There are some popular history books, circulating in Saint Eleanor and elsewhere, suggesting that it occurred in 1862 - but virtually all Quebecois will be able to tell you that this was a printing error that outsiders generally didn't pick up for a few years.

So we've been stuck in a hotel for the past while, which is fine but not really anything more than a sticking plaster. Anyway, we fancied a change; not necessarily a chance of pace, though. We therefore sold off the old plot of land to a local small business owner for $300k. Burned-down houses don't normally sell for that much but I can see the need for a bit of new blood, new enterprise - and none of that overly-corporate crap.

I've been told I'm going to make about Q£7.5m this year, which is $23m. If we do some basic maths, you're not supposed to spend more than 30% of your salary on housing - that's the figure I've read, anyway - that should come to $7m. Surely there are places that can be had for that much? Apparently there are, but Rachaelle thought it was safest if she were to ask a friend of hers to visit some of them and ask about the property. The couple of people she saw were very much not interested, which was both disappointing and, in the grand scheme of things, leaves us with nearly infinite breathing space. Within reason, anyway.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: I get your circumstances, but you might want to have a look around the houses yourself next time. They might want to talk to someone who's interested in the place and what it means, even if they're ultimately not interested in a sale. They probably won't want to talk to a surrogate they don't know.

As it stood, our old place in south Jolbonopolis was about a five-minute walk to the Coliseum, where Jolbonopolis United play - yes, I could walk to the stadium! - and a ten-minute walk to the gym which Rachaelle operates. It's a nice part of the world so we were thinking about staying there and keeping the same travelling distances if possible. I appreciate the short distances involved, which is what people back in Saint Eleanor are normally used to, and... well, she's a local.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: This obviously isn't the kind of problem anyone taking part in Dream Homes is going to face, but too often have I read about footballers living in completely different places to where they train and practice. Congratulations, in advance, on avoiding that trap.

Our first option was somewhere even closer to the Coliseum than that place - although more like fifteen minutes from the gym, so not perfect but then not the kind of tradeoff I imagine Rachaelle would mind. I imagine the depressed value might be due to the background noise, which you can understand won't be a problem. Bridget Coombe moved quite close to Northwest Road when she signed for Athletic a few weeks ago and she's said she's liked it so far!

I've been quoted $375k, which is fairly good value for one bedroom, a decently-sized living room, the obvious sanitary bits, maybe some storage as well if you're inclined... and the location. You pretty much cannot get anywhere in Whitehammer for that much because the prices just do not go that high there. It's nice, but I decided I'd need to have a think about it and maybe talk a bit with Rach should it come to it.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: This seems like a good excuse to spend some money, and it probably will be should you so choose, but I'd say you're right in putting this on the backburner for the time being. This is a house-hunt and my job is to help people with that; you need to consider all of your options before making a decision.

We also considered a similar place that was - on the contrary - located very close to the gym, not so close to the stadium; more like twenty minutes since it isn't actually inbetween those places. It's a bit smaller in most departments - actually almost squashed on the outside - but it's still $425k. Ten or fifteen minutes, I can take, but twenty? I've tried before, in other situations, and been a bit exhausted. I didn't go to the viewing, but Rachaelle had a look around, reported back that this didn't quite look like a place she'd feel really comfortable in and probably said something like "I'd rather sleep upstairs the gym." I wouldn't, though, but I think I'll chalk this down as a nope anyway.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: I can see why neither of you would have been too excited by this prospect. You're concerned about how long it's going to take you; she's concerned that it could get a bit crowded, even with just you two in there.

And then we had a look around a nicer, slightly bigger house near where one of the local chocolate factories is, and I can't believe they still make chocolate here either! I like chocolate! I'm still not sure if Rachaelle does, though; she's never asked me. I'd say this was on the more expensive side, about $575k, although that comes with it having two bedrooms - not one - and everything else in it being slightly bigger than either of the other places, to put it politely. It also feels more historic than the other places we've looked at, although history is a bit relative in Jolbonopolis given the circumstances.

I'd say that the gym and the Coliseum would both be about a ten-to-twelve minute walk away from here. In the grand scheme of things, that is quite literally pretty sweet, although it's a little bit longer than what either of us are used to. I could still wear pretty much whatever I wanted to go out in the area without complaining it isn't comfortable, although I just have one pair of sensible boots for obvious reasons. I've gotten used to everyone else complaining instead.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: Both of you are quite strong-willed and I can see why you might not be happy at your partner having a shorter, even if local, commute than you do. Is this an ideal solution? Not quite, but it's good enough, there's nothing obviously wrong and it's worth the money.

Come to think of it, I have the money, I like the place, she likes the place, we do think it's actually well-located and I don't think there's anything we can't reasonably put in there. And I can't stay in a hotel forever, although I stuck it out for six weeks a few Cups of Harmony ago. Why not?

SOLD! for $575,000

As you can probably tell, there was ample room for something on the side - maybe something a bit rural for holidays, relaxation and other purposes. After some looking around, we - or rather I - found a nice cottage, a bit under half a million dollars in back-home money, pretty much fully furnished, maybe about seven or eight miles out of where we were originally looking, a couple of miles from almost anything that isn't a utilities connection... maybe a bit on the smaller side for a rural place but, again, that doesn't matter.

There was a viewing available, but at very short notice I asked a friend to drop us off there - a different friend, not the one who was cold-calling much richer people a few days ago - and, when we had a look around, we liked what we saw and didn't really find anything to complain about. All of this was, of course, on the understanding we'd only be staying there for a while each year; I could see this being the kind of place where I could just take prolonged breaks from just about everything whenever I feel like it. Obviously whoever owned that place was nicer than the first people that got approached because they weren't on site at all.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: If the owner's put the place up but they aren't there, I'd imagine it's safe to say they do want it sold. Other than that, getting a new place out in the countryside as well might be seen as a stranger decision... but who knows if you need the rest and relaxation yourself in the future?

We would need a car to get there if we weren't just going for its own sake - that or ask my friend again - but I drive so rarely that something cheap and small that can just be stuck outside the house most of the time would do perfectly fine. So that would be that for the contract, then.

SOLD! for $450,000

I was honestly planning to spend nothing on housing this year - but then I wasn't planning to just lose my house and everything inside it. As it stands in the context of that, spending a million on a couple of houses I hope I can live in, at least, for quite a while yet and still coming in technically well under budget - and with plenty of money for whatever else I'd like, pretty much - has to be chalked down as a great success.

DAN'S PERSPECTIVE: I'd agree that this was a good and ultimately fruitful house-hunt. Best of luck this time, please!

NEXT WEEK WITH DANIEL HOLDEN: Jennifer Bryant, a geography teacher from Allington, speaks fluent Kinyabirunga and is angling for a move to central Imisozi - but her husband, audit manager Simon Masters, doesn't know if his sanity, his wife's qualifications or their son's sense of stability is going to hold up. Will they stick or twist, or take a completely different turn? The only place to find out is in next Friday's edition of your favourite newspaper, The Reporter, with Daniel Holden!

Are you an Eleanorian moving anywhere in the world, or someone wanting to move to Saint Eleanor? Do you want your house-hunt to be public record? If so, please email danholden@reporter.ex or phone 010 6367 from an Eleanorian landline.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Nov 05, 2023 3:01 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2005

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and in part the IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 52 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools who return from a two-year ban.

It's been decided that all teams, except last year's quarterfinalists, will enter a three-team, home-and-away qualifying group. There will be fifteen groups, and the fifteen group winners and five best group runners-up will enter the First Round with last year's quarterfinal losers. The First Round winners will enter the Second Round, aka the round of sixteen, with last year's semifinalists. Seeding will no longer be enforced at any stage.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2005 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1988. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups (in the unlikely event they win the Showcase too) and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, albeit on an ad-hoc basis with the Misiriyaa Football Group acquisition. The trials have varying levels of success, but - for some reason - somebody is always offered a contract through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers. Many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen, but not in the droves of years past.

Qualifiers

Group A
Liberty 4–0 Bramblewood CS
Magna CS 2–1 Liberty
Bramblewood CS 3–3 Magna CS
Bramblewood CS 2–2 Liberty
Liberty 0–0 Magna CS
Magna CS 0–0 Bramblewood CS

Group A                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Magna CS                4   1  3  0    5   4  +1    6
2 Liberty                 4   1  2  1    7   4  +3    5
3 Bramblewood CS          4   0  3  1    5   9  −4    3

Group B
Holland CS 3–4 Oaktree CS
Bishopgate CS 0–6 Holland CS
Oaktree CS 5–3 Bishopgate CS
Oaktree CS 1–0 Holland CS
Holland CS 0–0 Bishopgate CS
Bishopgate CS 0–1 Oaktree CS

Group B                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Oaktree CS              4   4  0  0   11   6  +5   12
2 Holland CS              4   1  1  2    9   5  +4    4
3 Bishopgate CS           4   0  1  3    3  12  −9    1

Group C
Allington CS 1–2 New St Paul CS
Springfield CS 0–1 Allington CS
New St Paul CS 1–0 Springfield CS
New St Paul CS 0–0 Allington CS
Allington CS 6–1 Springfield CS
Springfield CS 0–0 New St Paul CS

Group C                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 New St Paul CS          4   2  2  0    3   1  +2    8
2 Allington CS            4   2  1  1    8   3  +5    7
3 Springfield CS          4   0  1  3    1   8  −7    1

Group D
Marketplace CS 1–0 University College
Boys' Preparatory 6–1 Marketplace CS
University College 3–0 Boys' Preparatory
University College 2–1 Marketplace CS
Marketplace CS 2–1 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory 0–1 University College

Group D                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 University College      4   3  0  1    6   2  +4    9
2 Marketplace CS          4   2  0  2    5   9  −4    6
3 Boys' Preparatory       4   1  0  3    7   7   0    3

Group E
Elsmouth CS 0–1 Broadlands CS
Brightway CS 1–0 Elsmouth CS
Broadlands CS 4–3 Brightway CS
Broadlands CS 3–1 Elsmouth CS
Elsmouth CS 0–1 Brightway CS
Brightway CS 1–2 Broadlands CS

Group E                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Broadlands CS           4   4  0  0   10   5  +5   12
2 Brightway CS            4   2  0  2    6   6   0    6
3 Elsmouth CS             4   0  0  4    1   6  −5    0

Group F
Hartridge CS 1–2 Deepchester CS
Sunset Gates CS 1–0 Hartridge CS
Deepchester CS 0–1 Sunset Gates CS
Deepchester CS 1–2 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 1–0 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS 3–2 Deepchester CS

Group F                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sunset Gates CS         4   3  0  1    5   3  +2    9
2 Hartridge CS            4   2  0  2    4   4   0    6
3 Deepchester CS          4   1  0  3    5   7  −2    3

Group G
Eastern Fell CS 0–1 Northolt CS
Mount Dennis CS 2–3 Eastern Fell CS
Northolt CS 1–0 Mount Dennis CS
Northolt CS 2–5 Eastern Fell CS
Eastern Fell CS 3–0 Mount Dennis CS
Mount Dennis CS 0–1 Northolt CS

Group G                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eastern Fell CS         4   3  0  1   11   5  +6    9
2 Northolt CS             4   3  0  1    5   5   0    9
3 Mount Dennis CS         4   0  0  4    2   8  −6    0

Group H
Silverton CS 0–1 Jacobville CS
Williamstown CS 3–3 Silverton CS
Jacobville CS 4–0 Williamstown CS
Jacobville CS 1–0 Silverton CS
Silverton CS 2–2 Williamstown CS
Williamstown CS 1–1 Jacobville CS

Group H                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Jacobville CS           4   3  1  0    7   1  +6   10
2 Williamstown CS         4   0  3  1    6  10  −4    3
3 Silverton CS            4   0  2  2    5   7  −2    2

Group I
Richardgate CS 1–2 Newbanks CS
Tannerton CS 5–3 Richardgate CS
Newbanks CS 1–0 Tannerton CS
Newbanks CS 1–1 Richardgate CS
Richardgate CS 1–2 Tannerton CS
Tannerton CS 0–3 Newbanks CS

Group I                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Newbanks CS             4   3  1  0    7   2  +5   10
2 Tannerton CS            4   2  0  2    7   8  −1    6
3 Richardgate CS          4   0  1  3    6  10  −4    1

Group J
New Lizard CS 2–1 Queenston CS
Wellington CS 1–4 New Lizard CS
Queenston CS 1–0 Wellington CS
Queenston CS 1–0 New Lizard CS
New Lizard CS 2–2 Wellington CS
Wellington CS 1–0 Queenston CS

Group J                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 New Lizard CS           4   2  1  1    8   5  +3    7
2 Queenston CS            4   2  0  2    3   3   0    6
3 Wellington CS           4   1  1  2    4   7  −3    4

Group K
Crownedhead CS 0–4 North Seville CS
Carpentersville CS 2–0 Crownedhead CS
North Seville CS 5–2 Carpentersville CS
North Seville CS 3–0 Crownedhead CS
Crownedhead CS 0–3 Carpentersville CS
Carpentersville CS 1–2 North Seville CS

Group K                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 North Seville CS        4   4  0  0   14   3 +11   12
2 Carpentersville CS      4   2  0  2    8   7  +1    6
3 Crownedhead CS          4   0  0  4    0  12 −12    0

Group L
Goldsmiths CS 0–1 St George CS
Airport CS 1–1 Goldsmiths CS
St George CS 2–0 Airport CS
St George CS 1–0 Goldsmiths CS
Goldsmiths CS 3–4 Airport CS
Airport CS 4–2 St George CS

Group L                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 St George CS            4   3  0  1    6   4  +2    9
2 Airport CS              4   2  1  1    9   8  +1    7
3 Goldsmiths CS           4   0  1  3    4   7  −3    1

Group M
Army School 0–0 Buckhead CS
St Paul CS 1–1 Army School
Buckhead CS 4–4 St Paul CS
Buckhead CS 4–4 Army School
Army School 1–0 St Paul CS
St Paul CS 2–5 Buckhead CS

Group M                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Buckhead CS             4   1  3  0   13  10  +3    6
2 Army School             4   1  3  0    6   5  +1    6
3 St Paul CS              4   0  2  2    7  11  −4    2

Group N
Trident CS 3–2 New Bayside CS
Bonpool CS 1–2 Trident CS
New Bayside CS 1–4 Bonpool CS
New Bayside CS 1–3 Trident CS
Trident CS 2–0 Bonpool CS
Bonpool CS 0–2 New Bayside CS

Group N                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Trident CS              4   4  0  0   10   4  +6   12
2 Bonpool CS              4   1  0  3    5   7  −2    3
3 New Bayside CS          4   1  0  3    6  10  −4    3

Group O
Millerham CS 1–0 Farbend CS
Kelbury CS 3–3 Millerham CS
Farbend CS 0–2 Kelbury CS
Farbend CS 0–1 Millerham CS
Millerham CS 0–1 Kelbury CS
Kelbury CS 2–0 Farbend CS

Group O                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kelbury CS              4   3  1  0    8   3  +5   10
2 Millerham CS            4   2  1  1    5   4  +1    7
3 Farbend CS              4   0  0  4    0   6  −6    0

Teams advancing to Round 1

Last year's losing quarterfinalists: Blackwood CS, Parkside CS, Premier CS, Whitehammer CS
This year's group winners: Magna CS, Oaktree CS, New St Paul CS, University College, Broadlands CS, Sunset Gates CS, Eastern Fell CS, Jacobville CS, Newbanks CS, New Lizard CS, North Seville CS, St George CS, Buckhead CS, Trident CS, Kelbury CS
This year's five best runners-up: Northolt CS (9pts), Allington CS (7pts), Airport CS (7pts), Millerham CS (7pts), Army School (6pts, +1 GD; advances over Carpentersville due to superior record against group winners [2D vs 2L])

Last year's winning quarterfinalists - Eleanorian Academy, Girls' Preparatory, Grand Beach CS, Saint Benedict's Catholic - will join the Round 1 winners for a straight knockout in Round 2.

Round 1
Whitehammer CS 1–2 Magna CS
Allington CS 3–2 Jacobville CS
Broadlands CS 1–0 Northolt CS
Millerham CS 0–1 New Lizard CS
Kelbury CS 2–2 Sunset Gates CS (2–2 AET) (1–4 pen.)
New St Paul CS 0–3 Buckhead CS
Airport CS 0–1 Premier CS
North Seville CS 0–3 University College
Eastern Fell CS 2–3 Army School
Blackwood CS 0–2 Oaktree CS
Trident CS 1–0 Parkside CS
Newbanks CS 3–3 St George CS (3–3 AET) (4–5 pen.)

Vicky Ellison is the fifth goalkeeper to score in the history of the Charles Trump Shield - and, amazingly, the first to do so in a winning cause since Saoirse Bennett became the very first 25 years ago. This was in much the same circumstances as the last such goal in 1999: with the signalled period of second-half stoppage time already gone and St George trailing 3-2, a corner was allowed for the underdogs. Ellison went up the pitch of her own volition, and this time was the first to get her header past Newbanks' opposite number - before going on to stop one of their penalties in the shootout and take the Knights into the Shield's last sixteen for the first time since 1992.

Round 2
Grand Beach CS 2–2 New Lizard CS (2–3 AET)
Girls' Preparatory 3–0 St George CS
University College 2–0 Sunset Gates CS
Army School 1–0 Buckhead CS
Oaktree CS 3–3 Allington CS (3–4 AET)
Premier CS 2–1 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Magna CS 2–3 Broadlands CS
Trident CS 1–1 Eleanorian Academy (1–2 AET)

Round 3
Eleanorian Academy 2–0 Army School
[Sam Denley 42', Ella Parker 60']
University College 1–1 Allington CS (4–1 AET)
[Naclé Öhân 33', Joe Overton 102' and 110', Rosa Strong 113'; Florence Hobley 63']
Premier CS 1–3 Broadlands CS
[Kate Wilson 31'; Harry Charles 19', Luke McDonald 74', Phil Stephens 86']
New Lizard CS 1–2 Girls' Preparatory
[Bill Kitson 53'; Judith Moulton 70', Natasha Smith 77']

Semifinals
University College 1–0 Girls' Preparatory
[Esther Vaughan 4']
Eleanorian Academy 2–5 Broadlands CS
[John Gilbert 25', Sam Denley 64'; Sophia Lake 16', Owen Singer 33' and 58', Phil Stephens 43', Ben Sanders 84']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2005 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Broadlands CS 0–3 University College ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (56,538 in attendance)
[Bill Murphy 19' and 63', Naclé Öhân 45+2']

Saint Eleanor will enter University College, the winners of the 2005 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 17. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Simon Miller [GK; he/him]; 2. James Johnson [LB; he/him]; 3. Lucy Williams [RB; she/her]; 4. Barry Carter [CB; he/him]; 5. Hannah Phillips [CB; she/her]; 6. Pakelana Vezara [CM; he/him]; 7. Naclé Öhân [LM; he/him]; 8. Rosa Strong [CM; she/her]; 9. Esther Vaughan [ST; she/her]; 10. Bill Murphy [ST; he/him]; 11. Adrian Longleat [RM; he/him]; 12. Walter Evans [GK; he/him]; 13. Louise Brown [RB; she/her]; 14. Charlie Jackson [CB; he/him]; 15. Bella Reynolds [LM; she/her]; 16. Daniel Gregory [CM; he/him]; 17. Joe Overton [ST; he/him]; 18. George Jonas [RM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Duncan Lewis [he/him].

University College will play their home matches in the CWC and - if needs be - RSC at The Old Field in Collegiate district, seated capacity 1,500. This was Sword and Shield's home ground before reconstruction work on the University Grounds was finished in 1979. Watch out for a standard-issue and corrugated but still imposing grandstand, facing a covered standing-only area reserved for the presumably-"intimidated" visitors, the car park behind the east-facing goal (which snakes around the grandstand should you be afraid of horribly-placed shots), and the well-placed outer brick walls of the Physics Department building about twenty yards behind the west-facing goal.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2005, with Independence 1975 in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 17 - Whitehammer CS (crest left) and the Eleanorian Academy (crest right) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 17. Their managers, Sarah Newbury [she/her] and Michael Black [he/him], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

Saint Eleanor will not be entering a team into Vilitan Cove Invitational 22. Holland CS recorded the largest win at the 2005 Charles Trump Shield, but team captain Brian Peterson [RB; he/him] said he did not want to send his team to the Invitational, citing tabloid newspaper reports that mutant cocoabos were roaming Vilita eating people alive. SEFA could not confirm these claims, but decided that Holland's objections be recognised for their own safety.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Phil Stephens. For all of Hiyashi Celestia's achievements, their de-facto feeder team had been serial underachievers, only making one of a possible six Shield quarterfinals since the seniors arrived. That this changed so drastically in 2005 is largely down to Stephens, the driving force in Broadlands' midfield. His ability to size out the perfect pass, glide past intruding defenders with ease, take chances from distance where necessary and take good account of his teammates on the wings with nary a misstep almost singlehandedly took them to within ninety minutes of a perfect nine-game cycle in the first Shield with group stages. At the very least, it got them past Premier CS in the last twenty minutes of the quarters, as he floated the high pass that proved the assist for the go-ahead goal before darting past a slew of defenders to tee up a wonderful, tight angled shot as he stood just wide of the post.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 06, 2023 12:46 am

The Saint Eleanor League of 2005

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {all eligible NT flags, if non-EXT; see below} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2004 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 15th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2005, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
Underlined single nationals play for the national team they are eligible for as of the start of 2005. Underlined dual nationals play for the national team whose flag appears first before their name as of that date.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2005's list of dates here. Please refer to the spoiler there. Since this matchday appears in duplicate on the list and I can't edit the post in question to remove it: WCQ95 MD14 happened on December 8th, not August 31st.
"èl Dîrì" is Rulandese for "The Newspaper." It's the quasi-official newspaper of the Rulandese expat community in Saint Eleanor. Yes, all of it, divided though it may be.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. John Bailey [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 34yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 25yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 6. Liam West [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 38yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. + Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Gary Morgan [RM; 22yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Robby Ellis [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Lucia McCaul [RB; 33yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Ian Marks [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 34yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [50yo; she/her]: Under Sharp's reign, Indy have become the first team to win multiple consecutive titles, namely two of her three seasons so far. It's unlikely that they'll win three in a row again, given how potent Athletic look, but that doesn't mean she can't try. The lineup is fairly solid by now, but that might not last for long with Liam West, a mainstay of the squad since the 1980s, set to announce his retirement at season's end. Gary Morgan - Maria's older brother - gives the right flank a bit of a chaotic boost to balance out Newcastle's methodicality, although it is at least the good kind of chaos given the reputation that Matsuda and Grover have at this point. And Dortmün Çídh has said he expects at least ten goals this year, which would both be a downgrade on 2004 and an impressive accomplishment for someone whose celebrity is more legend than nearly anyone else's.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-1-3-2): 1. Kirsti Sundgren [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 4. Bridget Coombe [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CDM; 30yo; she/her]; 5. Wlad Wlad [CB; 36yo; he/him]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 24yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CM; 36yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 34yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 24yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Stuart Norton [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Ben McDougall [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 25yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [43yo; they/them]: There's a sense that Yelto-Aflan either doesn't know what they're doing or is fully aware of it. Bridget Coombe is obviously one of the best players in the world, offers more defensive stability than Athletic have had in midfield for a while and is friendly with much of the squad already, although most people (herself included) don't seem to think she's worth an Eleanorian-record $8m. Kirsti Sundgren is also seen as a good, even typically Eleanorian goalkeeper, but she was plucked from the Ko-orenite lower leagues as almost an emergency stopgap. Wlad and Williams are aging but essential pieces of the central line for the next couple of years; Parris has made an excellent case for a few starts this year; Launceston is probably doomed to take over the captaincy in a few years; Nightingale will stay around for as long as she can; and the four main wide players all have consistency and experience going for them. This year's Athletic are a highly cohesive squad, it's safe to say, but one fears they may start degrading post-Williams unless they change yet again.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. + Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 4. + Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 7. + Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 26yo; she/her]; 10. + Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 25yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 30yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Catherine Morrison [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Adastral Dowling [LM; 28yo; she/her]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 30yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [57yo; he/him]: Graham has simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed for the Misiriyaa Football Group: he's taken his team to the IFCF, but has opted against any new signings - citing what he thinks is the quality of the squad - and has put forth classical fullback Catherine Morrison as his successful trialist despite a widespread expectation that he'd end the practice this year. This is a more offensively-competent United than ever, though: Rachel McNamara and her deeper-lying strike partner Nobuyuki Ishida got twelve each and we should expect more of the same. The connections between Francis and Woodhouse, Katou and Fujiwara, and the pairs themselves are well-documented but will need to come to the fore this year if United are to secure a return. Hawkins has been a commendable stopper who should make the 95th World Cup lineup, if not this one, while the wider players have started to show their dynamism going front and, if necessary, staying back.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 31yo; she/her]; 3. Andrew Mann [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Caradoc Anghoill [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Maria Morgan [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Bart Forrest [RM; 33yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 30yo; she/her]; 13. Sarah Parton [CB; 25yo; she/her]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 15. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 33yo; she/her]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 29yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [42yo; she/her]: It's now widely accepted that a good Challengers' Cup seeding is the best Celestia can hope for any time soon, and perhaps the worst they can get away with, so it's not surprising that Schanke's been running a remarkably tight ship - even after so many years and a few loose threats to her employment. The lineup remains attack-pivoted as ever for obvious reasons, but the signing of Anghoill from Wavel should help to give the otherwise decent but aging defence a much-needed push. With Nicholls going the other way to Sporting Noordende, though, Maria Morgan should try her best to offer defensive stability instead - no guarantees, given her prior experience. Kuronuma will naturally try and get everyone on the front lines in shape, but the wide midfielders are getting on in age and Honda and Goldsmith are known creative quantities so he may be less involved than in years past.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 24yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 23yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 35yo; he/him]; 8. Brian Hurd [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 30yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 23yo; she/her]; 17. Lily Emmerson [LM; 19yo; she/her]; 18. Wendy Smith [ST; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [46yo; he/him]: It's only taken him his entire managerial career, but Dunbar has finally realised that Olympic need to be good in all areas of the pitch. Brian Hurd, captain in left midfield for 2003's highly successful Premier CS team, is the latest victim of his wing-inversion experiment, but should do quite fine on the right too. Lily Emmerson is able and willing to take the left over from Short. French has already proven himself to be a cult legend and is about the same age as the three best defenders - and, come to think of it, the entire substitutes' bench - although Trellis hardly ever puts a foot wrong and Rourke is good enough that he doesn't need to be replaced for a while yet. Nothing need be said about Pilchard, weMexala, Key and their quality; put together with the rest of the team, this side should be regularly making the IFCF for years to come.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Arielle Richardson [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 24yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 26yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 24yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 35yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [RM; 34yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Olivia Card [LM; 27yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Hall [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 14. John Alexander [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 25yo; she/her]; 16. Joe Watts [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [45yo; she/her]: Sam Bradman is off to sunny Dantopia, but Steele remains in her job and has instead threatened John Alexander, in normal times a traditional centreback, with a complete lack of playing time. Other than the back four, all of whom seem happy to be here for the time being, and legendary local lad Roanoke, question marks surround the entire starting lineup. It's been suggested that Richardson wants out for more stable pastures; Marcus remains under threat on a permanent basis from geExhecela; years with the White Stars is slowly taking its toll on Martin, although she remains uber-classy on her day; Rounds and Gordon are also in need of replacements that aren't coming any time soon on current form, while Barrow has so far proven a sorry substitute for Hollenberg. What gives? The status quo will, if this season is anything like last.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 33yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 23yo; he/him]; 3. Alistair Holborn [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 7. Peter Walker [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 24yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 24yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Katie Masterson [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 15. Keith Bartlett [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 30yo; he/him]; 18. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [62yo; he/him]: Jones has no intention of abandoning his station and is looking, at the very least, to replicate last season's seventh-place finish. Despite his name, Peter Walker is pretty fast and offers a much-needed refresh on the flanks, although he too is hardly at Mariani's level. Pazorzal is one of the best in the business, but he has finally fallen out of national-team favour and we should expect to see Foley brought on for him much more often. There's once again nothing to condemn the midfield triad nor the centreback pairing (which is more "experienced" than it is "getting on in years"), and Georgia Wood remains absolutely essential - especially since her backup is also fresh - so the real questions here surround whether Laker and Holborn, the wide defenders, will deliver or if they'll just give in as they have done on occasions.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 25yo; she/her]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Alex Martins [CM, arguably CDM; 36yo; she/her]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Kieran Abbott [RB; 33yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 29yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 27yo; she/her]; 10. Michelle Tallard [ST; 22yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Gavin Parson [GK; 33yo; he/him]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. James Benson [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Herbert [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Patricia Young [RM; 33yo; she/her]; 17. Michael Harris [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Gary Milton [CM; 25yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Nathaniel Jenkins [50yo; he/him]: Julia Atherton may be off to Yassaca FC, but if the state of this squad is anything to go by, her long-time right-hand man Jenkins faces an arguably even more arduous task. Michael Harris and Olivia Herbert are bright young things on the bench but neither are likely to usher in the return of whatever glory days this team had. xaParelanara comes in at goal to replace the much-criticised Parson but might not have his stopping power for now, although she always has Fulton, Newbridge (when he isn't being suspended) and company to help her out. It's heartening to see that Brandon, one of the best and possibly the fastest winger in the league, has to swing the ball into Halbrook and Tallard, one of the league's most promising strike partnerships - but the return of the Fabulous Four this is not, the central midfield is in desperate need of replacement and Atherton may well be distraught at how skilfully her defensive project is being dismantled.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 27yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 34yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 31yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 33yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Bob Gateshead [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 33yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Alexandra Barrett [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 17. Peter Simpson [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 18. Mefasula voElantara [ST; 33yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [44yo; she/her]: No change is all change for Quirky, who feels as though giving the already-young squad another runout is the best tonic to an underwhelming 2004. It's almost a scandal that Sofyan, one of the league's best classical defenders, hasn't been called up to the Pemecutanian national team yet; he sits alongside the more modern Laura Brown, ironically perilously close to retiring, and what is among one of the best-oiled defensive units on display here, if not necessarily one of the objective best - no need to name names. The rest of the team arguably works as a front four: flame-haired icon Amanda Cleveland should get most of the goals, as always, but paVepexala has by now proven himself to be a bona-fide deep-lying playmaker, while crosses from the left and short, smooth passes from the right should remain the order of the day for the midfield flanks.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Brian Tarrant [GK; Lance-Corporal; 33yo; he/him]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 27yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 24yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Lucy Barton [CM; Corporal; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 33yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 23yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 22yo; she/her]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Elizabeth Newman [LB; Private; 29yo; she/her]; 15. James Walter [CM; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 16. Mike Chancellor [ST; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Alan Hebblethwaite [RM; Lance-Corporal; 32yo; he/him]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Harry Brown [40yo; Lieutenant; he/him]: It says something about the state of Army and Navy that Brown, a man only intended to take charge for last year's Showcase, will now serve until the end of this year following a collapse in the recruitment process. He has disappointed perhaps the entire club community by saying that he won't make any changes to the squad, although it's a passably good one. Eldridge, Livingston and Tarrant, each with national team experience and spades of passion, are all proven class in defence. The setup at the top is good, although there are murmurs that Mike Chancellor may play close to every game off the substitutes bench. Gould and Wallace out wide are the two best exemplars of Elliott's late-stage scouting efforts, while it's almost demanded of Green that he bridge the attack and defence while remembering his midfield duties if he is not to be consigned to the dumpster.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 34yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CAPTAIN] [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 30yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 33yo; she/her]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Stephen Jones [RM; 36yo; he/him]; 10. Deborah Dennis [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Chris Collins [LB; 31yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Derry [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 15. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 16. Alphonse Rawlings [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 32yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Frank James [46yo; he/him]: Frank is by name as he is by nature, having repeatedly warned since his appointment last week that Aegis faces a major crisis if holes in the squad aren't plugged quickly. His first job is to consign the legendary George Guest to the bench, with the armband going to the perfectly-capable Rick Street and former Queenston CS frontwoman Deborah Dennis already finding herself to be one of the club's best recent signings. An underperforming Mike Derry is replaced by Stephen Shepley in defence, while August Wills should be expected to make strides from his unsteady debut season and Alession Lombardo should expect to be the fulcrum and future of an otherwise-aging, and barely just serviceable, midfield.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Steve Christopher [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 2. Charlotte Ellis [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Alan Long [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 4. Laura Keats [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 5. Jennifer Wright [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. David Howard [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. Jo Johnson [LM; 20yo; she/her]; 8. Ray Smart [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 9. Mary Hatton [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 10. Alex Reynolds [CAPTAIN] [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Patrick Trout [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Noah Longwood [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Lucy Brunt [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 14. Gary Norton [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 15. David Wills [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Sophie Good [RM; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Darren Taylor [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Adam Anderson [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [64yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing. His alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth, nor (it seems) has it prevented any of the old-timers who participated in last year's scheduled disaster from being cast out. Alex Reynolds earns the armband after the best season any Juventud striker's ever had, while Laura Keats is expected to make a surprise early impact and Howard and Ellis have long been known as the two stars in a typically dim defence.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 11
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2004)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 9
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

What Made The Difference? (according to Sàntîó Twéré of èl Dîrì)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2005     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   15   4   3    48   25  +23    49
 2 Independence 1975                  22   12   7   3    29   12  +17    43
 3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   12   3   7    47   30  +17    39
 4 Newbanks United                    22   11   4   7    36   23  +13    37
 5 Occidental Olympic                 22   10   6   6    37   26  +11    36
 6 Sword and Shield                   22    8   7   7    42   42    0    31
 7 Golden Unicorn                     22    7   7   8    43   39   +4    28
 8 Good Hope Club                     22    7   6   9    28   30   −2    27
 9 Grand Beach                        22    6   6  10    29   40  −11    24
10 Army and Navy                      22    5   7  10    16   24   −8    22
11 Nova Aegis                         22    7   1  14    32   53  −21    22
12 Juventud                           22    1   4  17    36   79  −43     7

Athletic Saint Eleanor had BRIDGET COOMBE: If you have money - especially if that money comes from a large coalition of small enterprises who we Rulandese are always happy to deal with and sometimes happy to take part in - then you throw it about. Was Coombe really worth the $8,000,000 spent on her? Many people, even now, say no. I strongly disagree. Exhibit 1: she almost took Athletic to the title by herself; strictly speaking, the 2-1 end-of-season win over Independence 1975 was a single game, but she proved the only victor from an early corner scramble, assisted Nightingale's second and was pretty good at stopping Indy's attack from making inroads in general. Exhibit 2: she knows her stuff. She can - and, multiple times a game, does - look around, know where her teammates are and get the ball to them without a hint of suspicion. And Exhibit 3: when she has to get in defence, she is very good at it for much the same reasons. Even if I'm overstating her influence, it's unlikely they would have won without her - not bad for a thirty-year-old.

Independence 1975 had KATY WILSON: You probably think I'm crazy for crediting the least famous, and perhaps least significant, member of the Independence squad for their success. I am crazy, but that's for another day. What Wilson did was demonstrate that Indy's defence has a future even when its current aging backbone retire. Unlike certain other defenders, but much like Liam West, she knows how to stop the ball without getting into too much trouble: if David Key had his way, Olympic would have secured a draw against Indy with the last kick of the season, but Wilson was a persistent marker and in the end squirreled it away cleanly. She's proven herself to be good at sending the ball forward, too - almost paradoxical until you consider that Grover and Matsuda need to be freed up to defend. The thunderbolt of a lob she zapped to Dortmün Çídh to secure a much-needed early-season victory at home to Athletic is a perfect case in point, even if it isn't one you'll see every week.

Hiyashi Celestia had RICK GOLDSMITH: Takeshi Honda will never, ever be passé. There are occasions on which he does have to give way, though - and Goldsmith celebrated his baptism into the national team with eighteen goals, a higher tally than his Kandorese colleague for the first time since time immemorial. Some of them are objective bangers: when Celestia beat Newbanks 2-0, Goldsmith's strike needed only two touches, a cushioning outside the area and a swing with his weaker foot. It's not only about the goals, though, because he was happy to take full advantage of his supporting role in a manner that, as always, confused opposing defenders. Maria Morgan isn't a striker, not anywhere near - but look at her goal in the defeat to Athletic. Esther Launceston isn't easily confused, but you could almost sense her bafflement from your TV screen this time; Goldsmith sends the pass over from forty yards out and she doesn't even notice until a second or two too late.

Newbanks United had JAMES PITTAM: Substitutes are there to change games. If you change so many games that you drag your team into the IFCF again despite all the naysayers suggesting otherwise, you've changed your team's season. Round six, Pittam comes off the bench and, all of a sudden, assists the second goal and plays a good part in the second - 3-1 over Olympic. Round twelve, Pittam comes off the bench and pretty much baits Athletic's Elissa Curry into a near-immediate red-card - the catalyst for a 2-0 win. Round fourteen, Pittam comes off the bench at the University Grounds, then pulls off a fantastic solo dribble and scores to make it 2-1, where it remains until the match ends. Round twenty-one, Pittam... starts. He makes two assists, regularly tracks back with success and frequently bounces the ball to the wider midfield. It's an easy 4-1 win for Newbanks which secures their place in the IFCF. What more do I need to say.

Occidental Olympic had GLENN FRENCH: If you're going to be the best, you'd better have the best at your service. French is nowhere near Bridget Coombe's level, nor will he be in all likelihood - but don't call this George Dunbar's team, either. French had the rest of the outfield ten perfectly in tune with what he was thinking. If he sensed the back four needed urgent help, he got there before he actually needed it. If he felt like the wide players had a better chance to push on than he did (and the wide players are finally relevant to Olympic after a decade in the wilderness), he gave them what they wanted. And if he thought the path down the centre was absolutely, objectively, perhaps even goalscoringly worth taking... then he took it, although not always with objective aplomb. This is not just reactive, reflexive passmaking: he actively takes account of what the opposition is doing before he charges ahead. To see him make the wrong move is rare, and I hope - at least - that he will remain at Olympic long into the future to continue to entertain us.

Sword and Shield had JESSICA MARTIN: Many of Martin's critics are overtly sexist. All of them, no matter what viewpoint they come from, are wrong. Seven goals and eleven assists in one of the most troubled seasons in recent Arsenal memory tells you all you need to know about how much the club will eventually miss her. She shined in the hard times, like in a 2-2 draw against Army and Navy which looked sorry on paper but was in fact a rich demonstration of how she could do just about anything with the ball, set up a pair of goals and make the case for. She was really good in the good times: observe the much-needed 2-0 defeat of the Unicorn at the end of the season, in which she floated just a bit inside all game, tiring out the opposition's wing-huggers and ultimately making the case for an excellent, nearly-unchallenged second goal with fifteen minutes to go. Yes, Hugh Roanoke is perfectly good - but he has nowhere near as much va-va-voom.

Golden Unicorn had JACLYN FOLEY: Say whatever you like about how much the Golden Unicorn were "stagnating" and "failing" this season, but at least they came out of this season with a positive goal difference for the first time since 2002. Towards the end of the season, with the Unicorn seeming like an outside chance for the IFCF after a mass of sloppy results, it was decided that there was no harm in giving Foley a few starts and a literal goal a game - two against Juventud and Celestia - did no harm. She was competent, willing to communicate, regularly heard and only showed you the full force of her pace and power when she got the ball and was absolutely clear; this makes her sound like an inept striker, but really it marks her out as a smart cookie and one who should be given far more chance. Then, maybe then, they will become the power they were all those years ago, even if just for a few months at the time.

The Good Hope Club had YUSUF SOFYAN: It is an absolute truism to say that Sofyan is a hardened defender who will stop you from pushing for goal with prejudice if necessary. What is much less observed about him is that he knows where everyone else is. If I'm giving you the same description I gave Bridget Coombe in any field whatsoever, then you must be good. Good Hope has the blessing of a centreback who is willing to push forwards, a defensive midfielder who isn't just a sapient brick, wide players who love drifting forward and a competent frontline, so it's almost mandatory to know your players, where they play and what they want to do. Sofyan has been working this out for a number of years, but 2005 was the year he finally cracked the code and it'll set him up well for all future years to come.

Grand Beach had CHRISTINA FULTON: In most nations, when you play as a fullback, you learn how to run the line: how to push forwards, win the ball, move it on, lay traps for attackers, and keep your colleagues in check. Fulton did all of that and more. She patrolled the defence with authority, ensuring that the backline was doing the best it could even when it did not have its best. She adeptly kept the side away from danger when they needed to avoid it the most, at least: Indy lost three games all season and their first was at Albion Road, where she ran Gary Morgan ragged with minutes remaining and very subtly forced him over the goalline with the ball when it seemed like he would pitch a perfect cross in. And she demonstrated true leadership even in their darkest hours: the goalless draw to Army and Navy will not live long in the memory, but how she cut inside regularly just to make sure the strikers were thwarted most effectively should be admired. Ignore the fact that Grand Beach went ten consecutive games without a win: they had a new manager and a fairly new team that wasn't perfectly serviced. With a bit of care, Fulton - and the rest of the team - will truly shine.

Army and Navy had HARRY BROWN: Harry Brown is a manager, not a player. He seems to be taking his "caretaker" job description far too literally, however, because he has made little if any change from what Roger Elliott left him. Army seemingly has one or two good players and a slew of okay players, which is not the calibre they have historically been at nor the one they should be at - and which, conveniently, makes for a poor season. Midfielders David Green and Lucy Barton worked horribly together, for instance, and there are multiple games when even an uneducated viewer can clearly identify their complete lack of direction and purpose. Some of his tactical choices were baffling as well: they struggled to a 0-0 draw away to Juventud after what appeared to be an attempt to push everyone forward and overpower Juventud's defence. All that strategy did was overpower themselves; a focus on the strikers and wingers would have been preferable.

Nova Aegis had DEBORAH DENNIS: How do you top George Guest? Try not to repeatedly engage in behaviour that would be immoral if it wasn't funny, to start. And maybe have alliterative initials. Deborah Dennis ticks both boxes and she vehemently scribbled on top of the third, "have a double-digit season and mark yourself out as a potential future star in the process." It is not an exaggeration to say that she is one of the best strikers in the league already, relying more on pace and movement than Guest's sheer targetmanishness, and the number of times she turned a potentially disasterous result into a triumph cannot be counted - although the number of times she did so by herself can be counted on one finger, scoring twice in the last ten minutes to secure a 3-2 win over the Grand Beach with just seven games gone. Second-from-bottom was an unjust finish for the Pink Falcons and we should expect to see their revenge in the coming years - it's just that I dread to think who they might overtake.

Juventud had INCOMPETENCE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: Wow. In one simple word: wow. Absolutely anything would have been better than the shambles that was 2003's two-draw season, but I am sure Paul Dennis expected something more like 2004's eleven points. He's given the team a new captain, installed good new players, and reiterated his trust in the veterans. What happened? One win - against the worst Grand Beach in a generation - four draws, seventeen losses. Yes, Alex Reynolds was so good he got seventeen goals, breaking the 2004 record that I don't think anyone expected him to break. Yes, Ray Smart was clearly the best midfielder in the team, making consistent and precise passes, and Laura Keats did not do too badly in the defensive department either - speaking as a man of Rulandese origin myself. And yes, Jennifer Wright didn't make an absolute clown out of herself. But where are this generation's Francises, Streets, and Harts? Where are the true difference-makers who can prove that yes, the Polytechnic is as good at sports as you think it is? They are totally absent, and we must blame Dennis for this team's sorry state. I give him five years until he is put out of his misery, though.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 06, 2023 12:56 am

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2005 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Independence 1975: 3 (2002, 2003, 2004)
Hiyashi Celestia: 2 (1999, 2000)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

HIYASHI CELESTIA - WINNERS OF THE 2005 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 65

1. Shojiro Ito [Kandorith; he/him]
2. Nicole Morlock [Cassadaigua; she/her]
3. Andrew Mann [he/him]
4. Isi Šasawić [Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom; he/him]
5. Caradoc Anghoill [Squornshelan Remnant States; he/him]
6. Nobusuke Kuronuma (C) [Kandorith; he/him]
7. Joe Galbraith [he/him]
8. Maria Morgan [she/her]
9. Rick Goldsmith [he/him]
10. Takeshi Honda [Kandorith; he/him]
11. Bart Forrest [he/him]
12. Kelly Bayliss [she/her]
13. Sarah Parton [she/her]
14. Robert Williams [he/him]
15. Lamotera Chelira [she/her]
16. Bill Simpson [he/him]
17. Eva Wellesley [she/her]
18. Libby Freeman [she/her]

Manager: Rachel Schanke [Cassadaigua; she/her]

RESULTS OF THE 2005 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Juventud 0–2 Hiyashi Celestia
Grand Beach 3–1 Newbanks United
Sword and Shield 2–1 Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team)
Nova Aegis 3–3 University College (Arsenal youth team) (5–3 AET)
Good Hope Club 3–1 Girls' Preparatory (independent CTS team)
Occidental Olympic 1–1 Independence 1975 (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Army and Navy 0–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Broadlands CS (Celestia youth team) 1–3 Golden Unicorn

Quarterfinals
Good Hope Club 0–0 Independence 1975 (0–2 AET)
Nova Aegis 0–1 Hiyashi Celestia
Grand Beach 2–1 Golden Unicorn
Sword and Shield 4–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor

Semifinals
Independence 1975 4–1 Grand Beach
Sword and Shield 0–1 Hiyashi Celestia

THE FINAL
Hiyashi Celestia 1–1 Independence 1975 (2–2 AET) (5–4 pen.)

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

There will be no Unofficial Showcase Awards this year due to an internal dispute within FootSoc. Instead, please enjoy...

Oneshot: Stick or Twist?

In 1998, shortly before Hiyashi Celestia were due to be admitted into the Saint Eleanor League, it emerged that Simon Bennett - the CEO of the local Hiyashi Corporation - had cheated on his wife to have not one, but two, children with secretary Lizzie Harrison. To avoid any controversy, he initiated a divorce to facilitate a new marriage to Harrison, and the scandal has been forgotten about ever since. Well, mostly. The little Bennetts still get teased about it a bit at school, but in true Eleanorian fashion, they don't seem to mind.

the older sister: Rachel Bennett
- birth: March 21st 1996 (8yo; in Year 5 of primary school)
- future hopes: wants to start her own bookshop-café
- sporting allegiances: Chromatik [CMT], n/a [NPH], Liria Prizren [MYT], St John's Arsenal [QUE], n/a [TMB], René Skaé [S-FPL], Directus [EUR], Peynol-Lunas [PAS], Aminey CS [KOR], Raynor City United [VAL], Pyathora Mariners FC [TKT], Anara [ERM], U.S Scudelli [JUE], Hiyashi Celestia [EXT]
the younger brother: Joshua Bennett
- birth: August 13th 1997 (7yo; in Year 4 of primary school)
- future hopes: wants to become a computer repair technician
- sporting allegiances: Chromatik [CMT}, Sabrefell Moths [NPH], Atletik Težia [MYT], CSKA Quebec [QUE], Serrapince [TMB], Mâ Âlâmëomë [S-FPL], Spartangrad [EUR], CA Paulinthal [PAS], Maethoru SC [KOR], Raynor City United [VAL], n/a [TKT], Royal Daulapura [ERM], AC Pomena [JUE], Independence 1975 [EXT]

The final was played on Saturday 3rd December 2005, merely days after Independence 1975 and Hiyashi Celestia had negotiated their semifinals with relative ease. Opinion was split in the family...

I feel like I would be bringing shame on my family if I didn't support Celestia. I'm also normally drawn towards fun or entertaining teams, particularly those who achieve good results as well, and Celestia tick both of those boxes. Some day, hopefully, they'll make the knockout stages of one of the IFCF competitions.

Indy are the most successful club in the league. I don't care what you look at or why, results, players, the internationals, their history - they're just the best. There's no reason not to support them and every reason to follow them around every corner.

...and not just about the teams playing.

I like the timing because it's at the start of the six-week holiday. I don't like the timing because it starts to snow at that time, and I love snow but I don't think that would be good for the players. There was about an inch of snow on the ground on the last day of term, which was the day before the final, and the teachers looked thankful we only had to stay until twelve o'clock.

The weather was okay in the end; I'm not complaining. Everyone in the nation knows how the weather works and I don't think I've seen anyone in football moan about it.

The match started off slowly - the first major action came fifteen minutes in, when Takeshi Honda forced John Bailey into a reflex save.

Oh my goodness, that was very close. I expected something like this to happen, though.

Clash of titans, isn't it? We'll see how this shapes up, but looking good so far.

However, Celestia rapidly bore under pressure. First David Newcastle swung a neat effort that Shojiro Ito flung across the face of goal - and then Kichirō Matsuda banged in the opener from twenty-five yards out, with half an hour gone.

This is scary. Very scary. It's what I expected, however, and hopefully we can get back the goal.

Finally! This is what I want to see from Indy - proper play, finish them off, prove our worth and make sure we walk away with the big one.

The rest of the first-half was fairly even-handed, with Rick Goldsmith finally having his say - albeit in vain. New boy Gary Morgan had a sharp effort which clanged off the post, but Indy were at least a goal up.

If this is a glimmer of hope, I'll take it. This has been promising and, honestly, Celestia have bounced back better than I'd have thought.

Easier said than done. We've been on a good track so far, but I'm scared that Celestia might score and that would put everything in doubt.

Celestia kept banging on the door, ultimately - with the Liberators reverting to their traditional, conservative self. Honda made them pay when he lashed in a fine effort from just inside the box midway through the second half.

We had, maybe... three or four shots before this, I think. I'm not surprised at all that this one came off; quite the opposite.

Do you have to look terrible at this? It's a simple pass, a simple shot and some of the defenders didn't move in time - what were they thinking?

Independence 1975 came out swinging for the final quarter of regular time, outmatching Celestia in shots taken, passes made and possession. But they remained level on goals.

This isn't stylish. This is boring. Cup finals are played to be won, not to be dragged into eternity.

Nice work - nice. Keep them under pressure; break them down and we can win this in 120 minutes.

And Celestia could even have won with the last kick of normal time, had Goldsmith not fired inches over the bar.

Oooooooooooohhhhhh, that was really close! I was taken by surprise with that, honestly, and even better if it sets the tone for extra time.

You can't be in a rush all the time. Just wait a bit, relax - if you're pressured, you can shoot. But where's the pressure? We can't just sit back.

Celestia made an almost immediate impact on extra time, bursting into the lead with six minutes played as Kuronuma bashed in a free kick from the edge of the area.

What was I saying again?

I'll be the first person to say there's no stopping that. After the commentator, obviously.

They had a couple of good opportunities in the rest of the first half of extra time, but the best was to be had by Indy - Layla Grover, still on the pitch, held off two defenders to force a good save from Ito.

Another surprise! When will Celestia stop surprising me? When they score again, perhaps.

That is exactly what I want to see. People getting forward, playing the ball, playing smart - top marks.

The seemingly inevitable conclusion in the dying moments of the match was that Celestia were going to play out a victory in the most anticlimatic fashion possible.

There is absolutely a time for a good rearguard defence; even I'll accept this. But this time? And Indy aren't even threatening.

We can still get something out of this final. It's just that the midfield is barricading us every chance they get. We need to break them down.

Yet with four minutes left of extra time, it was down to an almost-weary Dortmün Çídh to grab the equaliser few expected - although he had more than a bit of help from substitute Jon Harp, whose positional play and tactical dribbling was absolutely essential in the buildup.

Oh, no.

Well, that's what we deserve, isn't it? We've gotten out there, pressed them like they wouldn't believe, cut across their defence and now we have the biggest goal of the game, so far. Excellent stuff.

Nothing much happened in the dying throes of the game, despite the stakes. For the first time ever, the final of the Showcase would be decided by a penalty shootout.

Hmmm... I'm not too sure we'll get out of this alive.

This is where the match was always going to be won and lost.

The first six penalties in the shootout were taken perfectly - the nearest miss, for want of a more precise word, came from Gary Morgan, whose penalty was touched by Shojiro Ito but wasn't pushed out far enough.

I'll absolutely ride this heart until it breaks. I think it's broken at least twice already, though.

Go on. All it takes is one snap and we'll be well in.

Indy, taking first, drew first blood in the shootout. Matsuda landed his penalty right down the centre. Nicole Morlock couldn't help but fire over. It was down to Harp to secure a fourth consecutive Showcase.

That was embarrassing, yes. No need to panic. We've been here before; Nicole was a bit of a surprising choice.

He's good. He should see us through in the end.

Harp did not follow through. This time, Ito got both his hands to the penalty - and kept it well away. This time, Goldsmith had to score to keep his team in contention.

Lovely stuff!

...

He followed through. The shootout would go to sudden death.

I can't watch...

I don't think I can. But let's see.

Layla Grover proved the villain for Indy this time, as she was in the shootout against 1923 Esca two years previously. Her effort drifted well wide of the post.

I hope this isn't a foreshadow.

You had one job! Really!

Nobusuke Kuronuma, Celestia's captain, needed to score to win the game. He showed as much leadership as you'd expect, hammering his effort into the top-right corner - and securing a third Showcase for his team.

Nice one!

Aaaaaa!

But really - what did the Bennetts think about the result after it came in?

I'd say we almost needed to win. We've been stalling around third or fourth in the league for a hot second, we hadn't won the cup since 2000... overall, I'd say this was a much-needed result for the team. I'm excited to see where the Cup Winners' Cup takes us: hopefully it gets us to the round of sixteen like it did last time, at least.

I'm not saying we can't win trophies, but we haven't won anything this season. Second in the league? Fine, the Reds literally signed Saint Eleanor's captain. Challengers' Cup quarters, Cup Winners' last sixteen? Excellent, and it shows we can prove what we're made of on the world stage. But this result was no good, not at all. We should have won this but we didn't fight hard enough.

Once everything had settled down, the family went to the Museum of Natural Resources in Crownedhead - a museum which is, of course, mostly about the history of the White Star Oil Company.

Half past seven in the evening is cutting it a bit close, as dad would say. I was surprised it was still open for people myself, but you can keep the lights on when you're an arm of the petrostate! The museum itself was an interesting experience: I had a look around everything, found out about how oil was extracted, its history, and what people use it for. Obviously they talk about coal and natural gas as well, but those are less important. I'm surprised there's not really a lot about nuclear energy, because we get all our household energy from the nuclear power plant near Elsmouth.

I didn't know what most of the exhibits were about but I know that the oil is really cheap and powers everything about our lives already, so in a sense it was a bit of a fun visit. The best thing was going to the Torch burgers on the roadside as we were coming back and having what I'd say was more than a good dinner. They're open 24 hours and they aren't owned by the state, Rachel! Just because it's open all the time doesn't mean President Mitcham is funding it himself!

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 06, 2023 12:57 am

IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS ROLEPLAY IS NOT FINISHED. I GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL BE FINISHED BY 10am UTC ON NOVEMBER 7th 2023.

OOC: Tik approves of the Layla Grover skit.

Reflections on the IFCF

I75 >>> Layla Grover: Lots and Lots of Success, That's What

My dad used to tell me there are two kinds of people in the world: geniuses and idiots. I'm very sorry to say that a good many of the people in the Athletic management hierarchy are, in fact, idiots. We had to beat two teams to make the Champions' League groups. Tattoo in the playoffs was a doddle, although we drew the home leg, and I'd like to say well done to Dortmün for putting in a proper displace. Blue Mountain Range in the third - our first - qualifying round was very, very simple and, this time, everyone in the team helped them look like mincemeat. The next thing they knew, they were up against the fanciest Athletic team in history - and picked them off with what I understand was little to no difficulty at all.

The very moment that happened, we became the last Eleanorians in the senior competitions. Nothing lucky about the Tattoo win - but as you all know, when Indy rides their luck, they ride it all the fucking way to the end. First match of the group stage, some of the biggest and most up-and-coming names in the business: Cross, Stamenkovski, Lawson, Eastwood - genius players, not the idiots you get in most SEL games - came over to the Nat Lib and, I'd assume, expected to win with some ease. What did we do? We only went and came from behind three times to get a point. The first win came in the very next game in Valladares... and I can't say I didn't score there. It did finish 1-0, though.

Unfortunately, we didn't have the best time ever against the Rülândéá Kôstä. I'm informed their fans are vehemently pro-Ruland as all fuck, although they make an exception for Astograth - the nation and the woman. Yes, there's a woman called Astograth on their team last I checked, but that was a few years ago. It looks like Lydia did as much scouting on them as I did, because we lost those games 2-1 at home and 2-0 over at their long-bombed-out place. Talk about a national liberation arena.

We weren't such happy travellers that day, but we needed to be when we went all the way over to the Kitchener to play the same Avondale team that, since their humbling against us, had somehow won all three of their games. We were out to prove it was a fluke and Newcastle proved it handsomely with two excellent free kicks - the Wunderbar got onto the first one and the second floated beautifully into the top corner. Eastwood herself tried to get City back in it with ten minutes to go... but an equaliser against our defence, who'd already been trained to stop them in the most challenging conditions possible? No chance.

What happened in the final match was completely out of our control. So we beat the Marinos 6-0 and Dortmün whacked in four goals, which I'm fairly certain makes him the first person in Eleanorian history ever to do so in an IFCF game. That doesn't matter: we needed Avondale to lose because we had the upper hand against them on head-to-head. They could win instead, but Rülândéá Kôstä gave us our only two defeats of the group stage. Guess what happened? Avondale won three-fucking-nil. We were, as a result, promptly shuttled to the Challengers' Cup... now what?

Success. Lots and lots of success, that's what. We didn't beat the other team that calls themselves Metropolis 6-0 but we bloody well stopped them snapping at us. A bit of a smash-and-grab 2-1 at their place - even more so than the Avondale game given that the winner came from Katy Wilson, who is literally a defender, off the most scuffed stoppage-time corner ever - and a goalless draw at home set us up nicely. And then we hammered Outineau... in Outineau... and lost the home leg this time, but that's totally immaterial.

Anyway, we had a good path to the final: Sporting Noordende in the quarters, Rozelle or little Kelvindale Town in the semis... probably a big team in the final but that's what you get. Anyway, we promptly kept up our atrocious home knockout record by falling 5-1 behind in the space of an hour, which was very silly of us and certainly not my fault since I didn't get sent off and neither did Kichirō. Looking at you, Cathy. We scored two unanswered goals in the last thirty minutes of that one and we'd have stood a good chance had we done it again in Cap Nord. 1-0 it was, sadly, and we were out. On the other hand, it was our best ever IFCF performance, so no need to panic.

Of course, the Cup Winners' Cup was nothing to write home about - just the typical last-sixteen exit against typically superior opposition. Straudum won the fucking thing but I don't think they'll be so chuffed about losing to us, though. The only other team who beat them? Marinos Metropolis. Proof, if there was any, that Group C was the best group this last Champions' League.

EleAc >>> Donald Henderson: Worse than Sliced Bread

It pains me to say that our trip to the group stages was not a happy one, even though it was the best excuse to collect air miles that any of us will ever have. I'm not going to recount everything we said, did, or thought here, but our first five games left us with six points - a win against the typically-sorry Rülândéá Kôstä academy, a defeat to Avondale's invincibles, and a draw against everyone else... even Rülândéá Kôstä. Luckily for us, our final game was against the Academia Marinos, who had a very convenient six points. If you don't know how IFCF tiebreakers work, all you need to know is that we would have joined Lydia Vickers in the playoff round. Yes, I sit next to someone called Lydia in my history and maths classes. No, she's Lydia Curtis. Get with the program, mate.

ASE >>> Charlotte Phillips: That Was Some Shambles

... But pretty much abandoning a penalty shootout after we fought for two hours to get one? That was some shambles, alright. ...

NbU >>> Rachel McNamara: Penalties Aren't A Lottery

... Penalties aren't a lottery: your odds of winning are much higher than one in eight million and it isn't just a random shitfest of chance. ...

HyC >>> Joe Galbraith: There's Normally No Shame In Defeat

... There's normally no shame in defeat, and this was normal. Disappointing? Certainly, but normal. ...

OcO >>> Brian Hurd: We're Used To Heartbreak Like This

... A second-qualifying-round exit? Now, now; we're used to heartbreak like this. It's what we call a minimally-good IFCF season. The real heartbreak would have been crashing out against a Damukunian side, but we avoided that, so we're all set to go for next year... I hope.

StBeC >>> Lydia Vickers: I Don't Call Myself Perfect, But...

... I don't call myself perfect, but that was an absolutely perfect shootout - objectively! ...

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 06, 2023 12:58 am

IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS ROLEPLAY IS NOT FINISHED. I GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL BE FINISHED BY 10am UTC ON NOVEMBER 7th 2023.

OOC: Dion and Saquash are Quebec's characters and used with his vehement blessing. Vickers is my character, but has Prahecqois dual-nationality by happenstance; Myt was fine with her appearing here.

ELEANORIAN ARMY BRIEFING FILE #2003-11[v2005]
SUBJECT MATTER: DOMESTIC CHEERLEADING

NOT TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO PRIVATES FIRST CLASS OR BELOW
INTRODUCTORY READING

The red=on-white Army badge at the header of all Briefing Files about non-Army affairs, including this one, is that of IUSE, the Intelligence Unit of Saint Eleanor. IUSE is part of the Eleanorian Army infrastructure and we have proudly supplied our insights to all Corporals and above in the Army since 1974. Files about Army affairs carry a regular white-on-black Army badge.

Like all Army Briefing Files, this File cannot be properly understood without reference to other Files. Throughout this File, the following other Briefing Files are referenced:

● BF #1975-35[v2005] "Weather"
● BF #1976-08[v2004] "Schools (11-18)"
● BF #1976-15[v2005] "Eleanorian Media"
● BF #1978-03[v1999] "Dissent"
● BF #1979-21[v2004] "Charles Trump Shield"
● BF #1979-33[v2002] "Safety at Public Events"
● BF #1983-22[v2005] "The Socialist Movements"
● BF #2000-78[v2004] "Misiriyaa Football Group"

CHAPTER I: BACKGROUND

Cheerleading is a sport (as per the Sports Decree 1992) which is broadly similar to gymnastics. Some main differences include that cheerleading: is a team sport, normally involving many more people; does not involve the use of additional equipment; is normally set to some sort of music; and involves, in general, much more physical and arguably mental exertion. Cheerleaders will also often bond over their shared experience outside of their club setting, much as footballers do.

Shortly after the declaration of Eleanorian independence, a party from Cassadaigua docked in the port of Trident, some of whom settled in Marketplace district to help rebuild. Three Dagan women were accepted to teach physical education, from which they started the first - and, until the dawn of the Institute of Cheerleading, only - cheerleading club in Saint Eleanor, open only to girls in Years 11 through 14. The cheer squad at Marketplace CS was, and remains, intended for pure recreation, although training can be intense and cheerleaders are expected to turn up for all home Charles Trump Shield games (of which Marketplace will be effectively guaranteed two per year from 2005, following a SEFA announcement made the day before this Briefing File went to press).

The prescribed uniform has remained the same since 1976 - a green vest top, green pleated skirt, white tube socks, and trainers - and has since been unanimously mimicked by other Eleanorian cheer squads, with some variation in colour. Unlike in football, where there is a strong presumption in favour of black boots and other colours are rare if not unheard of, it is generally considered polite to wear white trainers with light kits, black trainers with dark kits, or match with one of the other primary kit colours if applicable.

As of May 2001, when the last known policy on cheerleading practice was published by Marketplace CS, practice will normally only be cancelled if the temperature at lunchtime is below -1.1°C (30°F) or above 35°C (95°F) or there is excessive precipitation or a lightning storm at the scheduled starting time. On average, this causes the loss of 4 sessions over a 32-week school year (excluding the exam period and any holiday breaks). For more information, please read "Weather."

It is not illegal for adults to affiliate into a new cheerleading club, but doing so is unheard of in Saint Eleanor. The sport is not seen by the national public to promote any great benefits in and of itself; largely-similar forms of exercise such as yoga, pilates and ordinary gymnastics are more widely practiced. Although not academically backed up as of yet, there is also a widespread belief that cheerleaders (and former cheerleaders) are relatively more inclined towards social and economic liberalism; Army loyalists, older Eleanorians, and the Reporter newspaper could therefore see them as a threat to the Eleanorian way of life, as they have previously done with similarly typecast groups. For more information, please read "Eleanorian Media" and "Dissent."

CHAPTER II: THE INSTITUTE OF CHEERLEADING

The Institute of Cheerleading (IoC) is the main convenor of "club cheer" in Saint Eleanor. It was founded in 1998 with seven member clubs and has grown its numbers to fifteen in the years since, approximately one per Army region; clubs are open to girls in Years 10 through 14. This is the list of the IoC-affiliated clubs, their districts, their years of foundation and item colours:

● Western ORIGINALS: Central, 1998; all blue
● East Central RAILROADERS: Newbanks, 1998; yellow top, blue skirt and socks
● Dockside COASTALS: Wellington, 1998; light-blue top and skirt, white socks
● Northwest PELICANS: Holland, 1998; orange top, white skirt and socks
● Oaktree FREEDOM BEACONS: Oaktree, 1998; all black
● Northern AURORAS: Brightway, 1998; red top and skirt, white socks
● the COSMOPOLITANS: Whitehammer, 1998; all white
● Southern GUARDIANS: Buckhead, 1999;
● Coastal NAVIGATORS: Carpentersville, 1999; all yellow
● Collegiate ACADEMICS: Collegiate, 2000; all dark-red
● Broadlands ENGINEERS: Broadlands, 2001; all navy-blue
● Parkside FORESTERS: Parkside, 2002;
● Eastern ORACLES: Richardgate, 2003;
● Queenston ALLIANCE: Queenston, 2004; all blood-orange
● Northeast PIONEERS: Blackwood, 2004;

All IoC-affiliated clubs must offer two practice sessions per weekday and, except for Easter and December, one session per weekend, although precise days of the week are not laid out and some clubs exceed this. Most sessions are held for around an hour in the 6pm-8:30pm window. Officially, practice sessions are held to prepare for the Cheerleading Nationals; although many clubs will have about forty to fifty members (see start of Chapter 3), only twelve cheerleaders plus three backups are allowed to participate per club. In practice, many girls - although far from all of them - will treat the sessions as means through which to exercise, take part in after-school activity, and make friends, with invitation to the Nationals seen as a helpful bonus.

The Education Decree 1985 requires that, during the final week of Winter Term 1 - the nine-week term that immediately precedes School Certificate examinations - no schooling take place on Friday; this opens up a three-day weekend and ten-day half term period. The Nationals are held during the three-day weekend for various reasons: there are generally eight hours of daytime; the temperature at noon is usually around 9°C (50°F); conditions are usually overcast, with rain every third year; snow has fallen in two of the past twenty years (1991 and 1997), but no more than around 2cm (0.8in). The Nationals as constituted cannot take place any further into the year without severe weather affecting the event or students' Certificate preparations being interrupted.

All Nationals are held at the Institute's headquarters in Goldsmiths district. The first day's activities are held outdoors; each club's delegation is randomly split into two teams of six and each team will perform once to an unheard piece of music, with their performance scored out of ten and scores being awarded to their club. Each club will reunite to perform to a new piece to music, this time being scored out of twenty. The second day's activities are held indoors, in which this is repeated, albeit with other pieces of music still; they will perform a rehearsed piece without music, which is also scored out of twenty, giving the club an overall percentage score. The lowest-scoring club is eliminated as of the 2004 Nationals.

On the third day, clubs will compete unrehearsed pieces without music against each other in the playoff, so that the first team play against the last, the second against the second-last, and so on until the seventh play the eighth club. Each performance is scored out of fifty, but scores here have no bearing on the percentage. The seven winning clubs and most meritorious (highest-scoring) losing club will advance to the final, in which all surviving clubs play against each other for a total of seven performances per club; this takes about three hours to complete and each performance is scored out of ten, with scores from only the seven final performances being added up to determine a winning team.

Most clubs will score very highly for any given performance and judges are at liberty to give scores to one decimal place, except in the playoff where scores must be whole numbers, although the judging team of three must arrive at a rapid consensus. A 68 total score, or an average of just over 9.7, has been considered a sufficient winning score in the final round since the format was instituted for the 2000 Nationals - but the Originals lost in 2003 with that score, because the Coastals had been scored 68.2 in total.

181 pieces of music are played in a Nationals: 45 on the first day, 45 on the second, and 91 in the finals. No song may be played at two Nationals within 150 years as part of the enforcement of the unheard-piece rule, so in practice the IoC must find 27,150 songs to perform in any rolling 150-year period.

CHAPTER III: EYEWITNESS REASONING

Ryan HARNESS, a football journalist for Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting, estimated in September 2001 that around 17% of eligible participants were members of the cheerleading squad at Marketplace CS. An official headcount run by the IoC in March 2005 suggest that around 700 girls were members of an IoC-affiliated club, or 4.0% of eligible participants. Current and former cheerleaders were offered the chance to take part in voluntary surveys and interviews in winter 2002, with a second round in spring 2005 to reflect the latest developments, to discuss their experience with the sport. All testimony below is from those discussions unless otherwise stated, although the testimony is sorted into several themes.

THEME 1: Cheerleaders generally accept that the sport is challenging

Cheerleading practice normally lasts three hours a week; assuming forty weeks of preparation, this sums up to 120 hours (five full days). The Nationals involve at least five short performances for each cheerleader over two days, and up to eight more on the third day. It is therefore not surprising to see many cheerleaders point out how much of a pressure on their time practicing can be.

i: Sarah MILLSWORTH, formerly of Oaktree Community School, was with the Freedom Beacons from its foundation in 1998 until 2002. She recalls that "the IoC had quite a bit of money flowing into it when the clubs were first set up and advertising was quite aggressive if you knew where you were looking. When the Beacons had their first ever meeting, there were an astonishing number of students, but many of them left after a few weeks for various reasons - sometimes they had other things to do, but most of the time they thought it was much too challenging. This is the case for the expansion clubs from what I've heard. The first couple of months were also a bit of an unholy organisational mess: the coaches knew there was going to be a national championship around Halloween but, by and large, had no idea how to prepare for it, which might have contributed to th hit as well."

ii: a.

iii: a.

THEME 2: Competition can be fierce, teasing is regular, and absences are rarely tolerated

Absences due to injury are, for evident reasons, generally accepted as valid. While cheerleading clubs do not have contracts as such and any interested girl may attend at their pleasure, voluntary or inadvertent absences - especially from girls who have been with their club for a prolonged period - will be criticised, including on their return. Even regular attendees can face teasing for not meeting up to the perceived performance standards of others or simply acting out of line.

i: Alexandra JAMES, a member of the Pelicans between 1999 and 2003, is one of only a few cheerleaders who have participated in the Nationals for all five years they have been eligible. Nevertheless, she attracted criticism in August 2002 after spending a couple of weeks on an overseas holiday. She said "it's a vicious circle: on the one hand, cheer can be stressful with everything you have to do and you need to have a bit of a break sometimes; but on the other, people think you're bang out of order if you take some time off for yourself and don't attend every session. I had at least two girls challenge me, one rather vigorously, as to why I wasn't attending. I tried explaining to them that I was on a fun holiday and it makes perfect sense not to always have to worry about practice, but they wouldn't listen and the coach had to step in to actually get everyone focused!"

ii: a. "You aren't technically scored - I've brought up the matter with the head coach - but the people who coach each session will generally have a few observations about everyone every session and put forward the ones who've performed the best in"

iii: a.

THEME 3: There is a strong sense of solidarity and friendship among cheer squads

i: a.

ii: Lydia VICKERS has been with the Pelicans since 2002, and took part in the 2003 Nationals.

iii: Charity ROBERTS has been a member of the Engineers since its creation in 2001. She was an active member of their 2001 and 2002 Nationals teams, but has been one of the backups for the past two years. "In a sense, being called to the backup team can be a bit of a disappointment: I was told last year that I was very, very close to being put down as one of the twelve performers again and it feels sublime that I was probably a couple of errors spread out over eight or nine months away from making it. On the other hand, I'm one of the unofficial team counselors and make people aware of that fact: I've talked to them about their problems, worked with the coaches to see what's been going wrong, point out how they can improve on their performances for next time... and sometimes I even run little late-night excursions to the Premium Coffee shop 500 metres away where we can all get a hot chocolate and talk about how we feel. Nicer than it sounds, right?"

THEME 4: Most cheerleaders have other interests, primarily artistic

All Charles Trump Shield finals since 1997 have contained at least one cheerleader. The most recent final, in 2004, contained a record three: VICKERS (Saint Benedict's Catholic & Pelicans), Harriet BILLINGS (Girls' Preparatory & Railroaders), and Sophie FORD (Girls' Preparatory & Coastals).

i: a.

ii: a.

iii: a.

iv: Charlotte PHILLIPS, who was with the Guardians between 2000 and 2003 "Is cheerleading a sport? No - it is the synthesis of all creative arts."

THEME 5: Cheerleaders appreciate the transferable skills and benefits they get from the sport

i: a.

ii: a.

iiI: a.

THEME 6: The broadcast deal is largely not a concern

2005 marked the first year of an eight-year contract with Channel 5, a new television channel owned by the Trades Unions Alliance and the Communist Party of Saint Eleanor (CPSE), to exclusively broadcast the Nationals. They had previously been shown on Channel 4. The IoC told Army Command in Goldsmiths district, where it is based, that it "is a politically neutral organisation" and that its agreement with Channel 5 "poses zero risk to national security." As a reminder for newly-appointed Corporals and officers, CPSE does not seek electoral democracy and instead focuses on encouraging President Gen. George MITCHAM to adopt policies which they see as broadly beneficial to the Eleanorian and AREIMA working classes. For more information, please read "Eleanorian Media" and "The Socialist Movements."

There has been little noteworthy response in the cheerleading community to the Channel 5 contract, whether positive or negative. Caroline KENNARD, a Pelicans cheerleader who was recently selected to be Deputy Head Girl of St George Community School, told her Army interviewer that the contract was "a potential threat... it's been argued for some time that cheerleaders are more on the left-wing, redistributionist side of things. There's nothing to bear that claim out: I consider myself a socialist and you definitely get more of those sorts in cheer than you would at your classroom at school, but for the most part it's all very conservative and pro-establishment. Agreeing a contract with an openly left-wing TV channel won't help matters; if anything, it might make people more prejudiced or concerned."

CHAPTER IV: SECURITY ASSESSMENT

As with all major events involving children, risk assessment primarily focuses on health and safety and child protection and is handled by civilian bodies including coaches; all risk assessment plans the Army has reviewed in such events have been found to comply with the legal standard. It is unlikely that third-party acts of violence will occur, but disruption could be caused by organised conservative Evangelical movements. For more information about these risks, please read "Schools (11-18)" and "Safety at Public Events."

Cheerleading is an extremely competitive sport, more so than youth football. Many of the girls in IoC-affiliated cheer squads either play football or are highly enthusiastic football fans. Verbal and physical attacks between cheerleaders are highly commonplace, although no hospitalisations or deaths have been recorded as a result. Most infamously, after the Originals defeated the Freedom Beacons in the second round of the 2002 Nationals final of the 2002 Nationals, Originals cheerleader (and 2002 Eleanorian Academy goalkeeper) Ruby MORETON prodded and stood off Beacons cheerleader (and 2001 Army School midfielder) Harriet CHRISTIE. Despite other cheerleaders joining the huddle, they were later separated before MORETON pushed her opposite number a couple of steps back. The IoC barred MORETON from the rest of the final after the incident. For more information, please read "Charles Trump Shield."

Cheerleaders do not usually form exclusive cliques (outside of Marketplace CS) or systematically bully outsiders. A 2003 study from researchers at the Polytechnic Institute in Saint Eleanor suggest that IoC-affiliated cheerleaders receive marginally higher grades on average (although this is not a statistically significant finding), give themselves higher life satisfaction scores and more strongly believe that they have a strong network of friends than all other students, but are more likely to receive formal warnings for verbal bullying and low-level disruption and were disproportionately represented in all other extracurricular clubs studied.

Cheerleaders do not pose a systematic threat to national security. The highest-ranking former cheerleader in the Army is Colonel Rachel KIRK, whose leadership of Operation Archimedes - an ongoing operation intended to challenge theft and burglary in the East Central region - is well-documented. While some ex-cheerleaders have joined the Army, civilian government or the White Star Oil Company, many others are in gainful private-sector employment which in itself poses no risk to Saint Eleanor. Any such risk would have to be introduced by malicious action the kind of which is not particularly inherent to any line of work, such as leaking.

Corporal Sally MILTON, who served with the Marketplace cheer squad during 1992-1995, made the local news in January 2005 after being pictured kissing Newbanks United scout and Quebecois citizen Pascal DION. United's chief scout Percival SAQUASH, who is also Quebecois, condemned his understudy for allegedly introducing United squad members and candidates to sex workers on multiple occasions. DION was put on three months' unpaid leave on January 15th and should therefore return to scouting duty in the near future as of this writing. An internal investigation by the Army has confirmed that MILTON is not in any civilian line of work, including sex work. She has been reminded that all service members, their spouses and minor children must only hold Eleanorian citizenship, although there is nothing to suggest that any sensitive Army information was released to DION. For more information, please read "Misiriyaa Football Group."

Summary: Any threat that cheerleaders may pose to national security is apparent more than it is actual. Although they can be sarcastic, or occasionally verbally abusive, in response to insignificant threats, they will generally not criticise people for no reason, will normally have diverse interests and a strong sense of community, and are generally driven in their professional lives. None of these factors are security risks, either in principle or in almost all cases studied. Media reports suggesting they, or their political opinions, may pose a threat should be heavily scrutinised against what IUSE has on file about them and should not be immediately taken at face value.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Wed Nov 29, 2023 5:36 am

For ease of reference, to avoid overcrowding future national team rosters, because I've never been a heavy user of Cicada in the first place, and definitely not to get roleplay bonus, please admire the following list of...

cica.da accounts of note (avatars attached for reference)

Government and Media (regular chirpers)
.
s.e.f.a (the Saint Eleanor Football Association)
all of the Eleanorian football news with only 25% of the fluff
ext.gov (the Government of Saint Eleanor)
yes, all of Central district really works off a single Cicada account
sesb. (Saint Eleanor State Broadcasting)
everything that's good about Saint Eleanor, and some of what's bad
reporter.ex (The Reporter)
tabloid trash, publicly funded by 300,000 Eleanorians every day
eve.news (The Evening News)
broadsheet trash, secretly funded by the Hiyashi Corporation
footy.investigations (Jessica Martin, freelancer and ex-NTer)
Jess didn't retire from football. she just started reporting on it

Personalities (might make two or three chirps a month)
.
b.coombe (Bridget Coombe, NTer)
likes talking about fashion, art, literature, travel, religion - and football
w.4 (Kichirō Matsuda / Wunderbar Quatro, NTer)
mostly here to rant. yes, Matsuda does have a pet grey parrot
ex.davies (Exandra Davies, NTer)
will normally try and invite her NT or Jolbo colleagues to a local pub
neat.and.delightful (Esther Launceston, NTer)
motivational quotes chirped daily. sarcasm chirped occasionally
notyourwhiteknight. (Rick Goldsmith, NTer)
has made one "hello multiverse" post since he joined in October 2005

Retired Folk (will never chirp again, owing to being infirm or dead)
Nobody! ...yet

OOC note: Matsuda's avatar was ~~brazenly stolen~~ adapted from Eric Kilby's photo and licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 accordingly. Some other people have the Cicada default logo and their uses were cleared with Dantopia. All other avatars are mine.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Jan 29, 2024 12:47 am

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2006

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and in part the IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 52 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools who return from a two-year ban.

It's been decided that all teams, except last year's quarterfinalists, will enter a three-team, home-and-away qualifying group. There will be fifteen groups, and the fifteen group winners and five best group runners-up will enter the First Round with last year's quarterfinal losers. The First Round winners will enter the Second Round, aka the round of sixteen, with last year's semifinalists. Seeding will no longer be enforced at any stage.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2005 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1988. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups (in the unlikely event they win the Showcase too) and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, albeit on an ad-hoc basis with the Misiriyaa Football Group acquisition. The trials have varying levels of success, but - for some reason - somebody is always offered a contract through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers. Many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen, but not in the droves of years past.

Qualifiers

Group A
Tannerton CS 3–0 Liberty
Queenston CS 2–0 Tannerton CS
Liberty 3–1 Queenston CS
Liberty 1–0 Tannerton CS
Tannerton CS 3–2 Queenston CS
Queenston CS 0–2 Liberty

Group A                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Liberty                        4   3  0  1    6   4  +2    9
2 Tannerton CS                   4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
3 Queenston CS                   4   1  0  3    5   8  −3    3

Group B
Goldsmiths CS 1–0 St Paul CS
Jacobville CS 2–0 Goldsmiths CS
St Paul CS 0–1 Jacobville CS
St Paul CS 0–0 Goldsmiths CS
Goldsmiths CS 3–1 Jacobville CS
Jacobville CS 2–0 St Paul CS

Group B                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Jacobville CS                  4   3  0  1    6   3  +3    9
2 Goldsmiths CS                  4   2  1  1    4   3  +1    7
3 St Paul CS                     4   0  1  3    0   4  −4    1

Group C
Holland CS 0–1 Eastern Fell CS
Williamstown CS 2–0 Holland CS
Eastern Fell CS 2–1 Williamstown CS
Eastern Fell CS 1–3 Holland CS
Holland CS 1–2 Williamstown CS
Williamstown CS 0–0 Eastern Fell CS

Group C                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Williamstown CS                4   2  1  1    5   3  +2    7
2 Eastern Fell CS                4   2  1  1    4   4   0    7
3 Holland CS                     4   1  0  3    4   6  −2    3

Group D
Airport CS 1–0 Silverton CS
New St Paul CS 1–4 Airport CS
Silverton CS 2–1 New St Paul CS
Silverton CS 2–3 Airport CS
Airport CS 0–1 New St Paul CS
New St Paul CS 2–2 Silverton CS

Group D                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Airport CS                     4   3  0  1    8   4  +4    9
2 Silverton CS                   4   1  1  2    6   7  −1    4
3 New St Paul CS                 4   1  1  2    5   8  −3    4

Group E
New Bayside CS 2–4 Trident CS
Farbend CS 0–1 New Bayside CS
Trident CS 1–0 Farbend CS
Trident CS 1–1 New Bayside CS
New Bayside CS 0–0 Farbend CS
Farbend CS 0–3 Trident CS

Group E                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Trident CS                     4   3  1  0    9   3  +6   10
2 New Bayside CS                 4   1  2  1    4   5  −1    5
3 Farbend CS                     4   0  1  3    0   5  −5    1

Group F
Deepchester CS 3–1 Elsmouth CS
North Seville CS 1–0 Deepchester CS
Elsmouth CS 1–6 North Seville CS
Elsmouth CS 1–2 Deepchester CS
Deepchester CS 0–0 North Seville CS
North Seville CS 4–0 Elsmouth CS

Group F                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 North Seville CS               4   3  1  0   11   1 +10   10
2 Deepchester CS                 4   2  1  1    5   3  +2    7
3 Elsmouth CS                    4   0  0  4    3  15 −12    0

Group G
Springfield CS 1–1 Bishopgate CS
Sunset Gates CS 1–0 Springfield CS
Bishopgate CS 1–4 Sunset Gates CS
Bishopgate CS 4–1 Springfield CS
Springfield CS 2–5 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS 2–0 Bishopgate CS

Group G                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sunset Gates CS                4   4  0  0   12   3  +9   12
2 Bishopgate CS                  4   1  1  2    6   8  −2    4
3 Springfield CS                 4   0  1  3    4  11  −7    1

Group H
Bonpool CS 1–1 Marketplace CS
St George CS 3–2 Bonpool CS
Marketplace CS 0–1 St George CS
Marketplace CS 1–2 Bonpool CS
Bonpool CS 1–2 St George CS
St George CS 1–3 Marketplace CS

Group H                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 St George CS                   4   3  0  1    7   6  +1    9
2 Marketplace CS                 4   1  1  2    5   5   0    4
3 Bonpool CS                     4   1  1  2    6   7  −1    4

Group I
Whitehammer CS 5–2 Carpentersville CS
Wellington CS 2–5 Whitehammer CS
Carpentersville CS 1–1 Wellington CS
Carpentersville CS 1–3 Whitehammer CS
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Wellington CS
Wellington CS 0–1 Carpentersville CS

Group I                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Whitehammer CS                 4   4  0  0   14   5  +9   12
2 Carpentersville CS             4   1  1  2    5   9  −4    4
3 Wellington CS                  4   0  1  3    3   8  −5    1

Group J
Magna CS 1–4 Newbanks CS
Grand Beach CS 0–0 Magna CS
Newbanks CS 3–3 Grand Beach CS
Newbanks CS 2–1 Magna CS
Magna CS 1–2 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS 1–0 Newbanks CS

Group J                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Grand Beach CS                 4   2  2  0    6   4  +2    8
2 Newbanks CS                    4   2  1  1    9   6  +3    7
3 Magna CS                       4   0  1  3    3   8  −5    1

Group K
Blackwood CS 0–4 Boys' Preparatory
Hartridge CS 1–1 Blackwood CS
Boys' Preparatory 2–0 Hartridge CS
Boys' Preparatory 0–0 Blackwood CS
Blackwood CS 3–0 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 1–1 Boys' Preparatory

Group K                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Boys' Preparatory              4   2  2  0    7   1  +6    8
2 Blackwood CS                   4   1  2  1    4   5  −1    5
3 Hartridge CS                   4   0  2  2    2   7  −5    2

Group L
Kelbury CS 1–0 Oaktree CS
Mount Dennis CS 0–4 Kelbury CS
Oaktree CS 4–2 Mount Dennis CS
Oaktree CS 2–1 Kelbury CS
Kelbury CS 1–0 Mount Dennis CS
Mount Dennis CS 0–2 Oaktree CS

Group L                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kelbury CS                     4   3  0  1    7   2  +5    9
2 Oaktree CS                     4   3  0  1    8   4  +4    9
3 Mount Dennis CS                4   0  0  4    2  11  −9    0

Group M
Buckhead CS 1–2 Bramblewood CS
Brightway CS 0–0 Buckhead CS
Bramblewood CS 1–0 Brightway CS
Bramblewood CS 4–4 Buckhead CS
Buckhead CS 4–4 Brightway CS
Brightway CS 2–2 Bramblewood CS

Group M                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Bramblewood CS                 4   2  2  0    9   7  +2    8
2 Buckhead CS                    4   0  3  1    9  10  −1    3
3 Brightway CS                   4   0  3  1    6   7  −1    3

Group N
Crownedhead CS 0–1 Richardgate CS
Northolt CS 2–0 Crownedhead CS
Richardgate CS 0–0 Northolt CS
Richardgate CS 2–1 Crownedhead CS
Crownedhead CS 1–0 Northolt CS
Northolt CS 0–1 Richardgate CS

Group N                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Richardgate CS                 4   3  1  0    4   1  +3   10
2 Northolt CS                    4   1  1  2    2   2   0    4
3 Crownedhead CS                 4   1  0  3    2   5  −3    3

Group O
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–0 Millerham CS
Parkside CS 1–1 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Millerham CS 1–0 Parkside CS
Millerham CS 1–3 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–1 Parkside CS
Parkside CS 4–4 Millerham CS

Group O                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saint Benedict's Catholic      4   1  2  1    4   3  +1    5
2 Parkside CS                    4   1  2  1    6   6   0    5
3 Millerham CS                   4   1  2  1    6   7  −1    5

Teams advancing to Round 1

Last year's losing quarterfinalists: Allington CS, Army School, New Lizard CS, Premier CS
This year's group winners: Liberty, Jacobville CS, Williamstown CS, Airport CS, Trident CS, North Seville CS, Sunset Gates CS, St George CS, Whitehammer CS, Grand Beach CS, Boys' Preparatory, Kelbury CS, Bramblewood CS, Richardgate CS, Saint Benedict's Catholic
This year's five best runners-up: Oaktree CS (9pts), Newbanks CS (7pts), Deepchester CS (7pts), Goldsmiths CS (7pts), Eastern Fell CS (7pts)

Last year's winning quarterfinalists - Broadlands CS, Eleanorian Academy, Girls' Preparatory, University College - will join the Round 1 winners for a straight knockout in Round 2.

Round 1
Eastern Fell CS 0–2 Premier CS
Army School 5–3 Bramblewood CS
Allington CS 1–4 Boys' Preparatory
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Liberty
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 Kelbury CS
Deepchester CS 1–2 St George CS
Grand Beach CS 1–0 Sunset Gates CS
Newbanks CS 0–1 North Seville CS
Trident CS 2–2 Oaktree CS (2–2 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Jacobville CS 3–0 Richardgate CS
New Lizard CS 2–2 Goldsmiths CS (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Airport CS 3–2 Williamstown CS

Round 2
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 Girls' Preparatory
University College 2–0 Airport CS
St George CS 2–4 Boys' Preparatory
North Seville CS 0–1 Goldsmiths CS
Premier CS 1–1 Grand Beach CS (3–2 AET)
Jacobville CS 0–0 Trident CS (0–0 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Army School 3–3 Whitehammer CS (3–3 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Eleanorian Academy 6–3 Broadlands CS

Round 3
Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–1 Boys' Preparatory
[Jack McCafferty 78']
Premier CS 0–1 University College
[Olympia Woodward 45+3']
Goldsmiths CS 0–0 Eleanorian Academy (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
[no goals]
[penalty shootout details coming soon! sorry!]
Whitehammer CS 1–0 Jacobville CS
[John Portman 33']

Atlas CS will join the Charles Trump Shield in time for 2007. The school is based in Atlas district, which was made to the specification of Kandorese megacorporation Kaito by the Army Corps of Engineers in partnership with several privately-contracted engineers in the western city. As a result, all quarterfinalists will join the 2007 Shield at the second round, joined by the winners of the first round. The exception is the defending champion, which will join at the third round (round of sixteen). This will restore the Shield to its old six-round straight-knockout format, although serious discussions are now being held about the possibility of organising all rounds except the final on a two-legged basis - which would introduce "only" two new games to the schedule.

Semifinals
Whitehammer CS 2–0 Boys' Preparatory
[John Portman 54', Elizabeth York 69']
Goldsmiths CS 1–2 University College
[Roman Tillis 74'; Olympia Woodward 41', 53']

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2006 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
University College 2–2 Whitehammer CS (3–2 AET) ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (60,158 in attendance)
[Olympia Woodward 34', Charles Brewer 60', Nick Ellison 109'; Mike Lawrence 47', Isabella Bright 84']

Saint Eleanor will enter University College, the winners of the 2006 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 17. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Josh Baines [GK; he/him]; 2. Natasha Smith [LB; she/her]; 3. Naclé Jírraósôás [RB; he/him]; 4. Simon Smith [CB; he/him]; 5. Rebecca Daniels [CB; she/her]; 6. George Morgan [CM; he/him]; 7. Michelle Addison [LM; she/her]; 8. Charles Brewer [CM; he/him]; 9. Nick Ellison [ST; he/him]; 10. Olympia Woodward [ST; captain; she/her]; 11. Bob Roland [RM; he/him]; 12. Karen Parson [GK; she/her]; 13. Paul White [RB; he/him]; 14. Lily Brunt [CB; she/her]; 15. James Donovan [LM; he/him]; 16. Gareth McDonald [CM; he/him]; 17. Elizabeth Hendricks [ST; she/her]; 18. Thomas Milton [RM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Duncan Lewis [he/him].

University College will play their home matches in the CWC and - if needs be - RSC at The Old Field in Collegiate district, seated capacity 1,500. This was Sword and Shield's home ground before reconstruction work on the University Grounds was finished in 1979. Watch out for a standard-issue and corrugated but still imposing grandstand, facing a covered standing-only area reserved for the presumably-"intimidated" visitors, the car park behind the east-facing goal (which snakes around the grandstand should you be afraid of horribly-placed shots), and the well-placed outer brick walls of the Physics Department building about twenty yards behind the west-facing goal.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2005, with Independence 1975 in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 17 - Whitehammer CS (crest left) and the Eleanorian Academy (crest right) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 17. Their managers, Sarah Newbury [she/her] and Michael Black [he/him], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Olympia Woodward. For all the praise strikers get in the media, just one of the six Golden Backpacks previously awarded this century went to a targetperson - Jimmy Simpson in 2004, and even then after Blackwood CS's heroics (despite Goldsmiths making the semifinals this year, there were no true standouts in the team). Woodward makes this figure two in seven for a variety of reasons: she scored five of Uni Coll's eight goals, a higher proportion than even the legendary David Key; she was willing to drop back and let Ellison bear the load where it was necessary (as in extra time of the final); all in all, she menaced opposing defenders and got two of them booked despite only playing four games. Off the pitch, she is very much a leader of sorts - Deputy Head Girl and odds-on favourite to take the lead next year, the lead actress in the school play last autumn; a vegan, an activist against abortion, the death penalty, Army misuse of force and sexual abuse (Baines jokes that she is "the most committed pro-lifer I know"). Could she be the one who finally leads an Eleanorian school to the RIsing Stars Cup?

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Jan 29, 2024 12:51 am

The Saint Eleanor League of 2006

Preview (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {all eligible NT flags, if non-EXT; see below} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2005 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 15th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2006, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
Underlined single nationals play for the national team they are eligible for as of the start of 2006. Underlined dual nationals play for the national team whose flag appears first before their name as of that date.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2006's list of dates here. Please refer to the spoiler there.
Kandorith, please forgive me for putting words in Nobusuke's mouth. I haven't had anywhere near the chance to run this past you first.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-1-3-2): 1. Kirsti Sundgren [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 4. Bridget Coombe [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CDM; 31yo; she/her]; 5. + Lydia VIckers [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 25yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CM; 37yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 34yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 25yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Stuart Norton [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 13. Ben McDougall [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Philip Coal [LB; 34yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 26yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [44yo; they/them]: After last year's humiliating IFCF exit, Yelto-Aflan's focus is on getting as far as possible in that, perhaps even at the expense of a title defence. On the balance, though, this team should get there with room to spare. Vickers - captain of the Saint Ben's team that won the 2004 Charles Trump Shield - is the obvious new addition and will most likely be a strong defender in every sense, to counterbalance Launceston's distributivism. Coombe will increasingly run the midfield as Williams gets on in years (although that is not to say the captain is any slouch); the front four, as it were, is among the most dynamic at this level of the game. Even Sundgren, who was almost certainly not intended to stick around for very long, has more than vindicated herself over the past year.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. John Bailey [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 38yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; 28yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 35yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 26yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 6. Matt Morrison [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. + Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 22yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 22yo; he/him]; 11. Gary Morgan [RM; 23yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Robby Ellis [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 14. Joe Willis [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Ian Marks [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Keira Monaghan [RM; 35yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [51yo; she/her]: It is already fair to argue that Sharp, one of the greatest players in Indy's history, may well be their greatest manager - she has led them to two titles, a decently-close second-place finish, the Champions' League knockouts and the Challengers' Cup quarterfinals. Liam West's retirement will be a blow and it's all too likely that Bailey will join him in the near future, but Morrison proved himself to be a fine defender two years ago as the Academy made the Shield semis and should do similarly well here given enough time. There is nothing obvious to fault with the rest of the starting lineup - and praise in particular goes to Winchester for having the courage to finally take over the armband, Grover and Matsuda for being the hard hitters that this team needs, Felaraneta for proving time and again that flamboyance (although generally off the ball, thankfully for his teammates) and solid performance can co-exist, and Çídh for being outrageously consistent.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 32yo; she/her]; 3. Sarah Parton [CB; 26yo; she/her]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Caradoc Anghoill [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 31yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Maria Morgan [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 11. James Heath [RM; 19yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 31yo; she/her]; 13. Nigel Vincent [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 15. Lamotera Chelira [RB; 34yo; she/her]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 30yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 22yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [43yo; she/her]: Celestia is by some distance the least dramatic of the major clubs, and Schanke is perfectly fine to keep it that way. The lineup is generally indistinguishable from that which made the Challengers' Cup fourth qualifying round last year, except for a new reserve defender and Shield winner James Heath on the wing, all with the expectation of continued success. Parton, herself a long-time backup with little to distinguish her but hard work, joins the back four at last and should expect to see good, consolidation-focused play, with Morgan the newfound pivot. As ever, Kuronuma will continue to provide support for Honda and Goldsmith, two of the best strikers anywhere, but Galbraith and Heath are now expected to create more than they are to benefit from centre play.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 28yo; she/her]; 3. + Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 36yo; he/him]; 4. + Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 23yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 7. + Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 27yo; she/her]; 10. + Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 26yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 31yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Catherine Morrison [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Palerenala vaEplanera [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Adrianna Murray [ST; 31yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [58yo; he/him]: United fans and perhaps bosses alike are starting to tire of Graham. He is delivering good-enough performances in every competition, without making any new signings (except vaEplanera, this year's successful trialist), and in the knowledge that any slippage in any aspect will probably cost him more than just a job. That slippage is approaching: the defence is rapidly peaking as a unit and Katou is naturally close to retirement; Francis and Woodhouse remain consistent, but with little except admittedly very good partnerships going for them; McNamara, Ishida and the wide players can be extremely potent on their day, but have required fairly frequent bailouts. And it is unlikely that the trials will be able to continue as they are for much longer. What, then, does it profit Graham to keep beating this horse?

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 25yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Shaun Trellis [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 24yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 35yo; he/him]; 8. Brian Hurd [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 29yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 31yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 23yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Pringle [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 24yo; she/her]; 17. Lily Emmerson [LM; 20yo; she/her]; 18. Wendy Smith [ST; 20yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [47yo; he/him]: Olympic are fundamentally unchanged on last season, which is unlikely to harm them too much given their quality and stability. Short is still technically the captain, but will likely pass on the torch to Pilchard next year - and Emmerson will accordingly start getting more and more minutes. Pilchard, Key and weMexala remain some of the best attacking players in the league, and certainly the best-established ones. French, Rourke and the back four are all proven masters of their disciplines as well and will remain so for a number of years. And there is, of course, the substitutes' bench, as young as ever and with new prospects threatening to get through the pipeline every year. For this year, however, expect more of the same.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Michael Hall [GK; 28yo; he/him]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 27yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Alex Rounds [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 25yo; she/her]; 10. Maddie Gordon [CAM; 36yo; she/her]; 11. Jessica Martin [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [RM; 35yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Àlfôn Qâerês [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Ed Jackson [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 14. John Alexander [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 26yo; she/her]; 16. Joe Watts [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 23yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [45yo; she/her]: As suggested for what feels like an eternity, Arielle Richardson has left for Mytanija. Where does that leave the Arsenal? Not in the best place. Hall, hardly her equal and unlikely to last too long for obvious reasons, is the new starting goalkeeper. The midfield three is the oldest of any past generation and it could be reasonably argued that all can be replaced without too much harm being done to the team; Qâerês, signed from the Eleanorian academy, has shown the kind of bombastic promise we all expect from the local Rulandese and will in all likelihood replace Martin when she inevitably retires. There is no issue with Marcus, Pratt or Terrence, all in their mid-twenties, but the side is rather firmly getting on in years (except Alexander, inexplicably sidelined this year as last; Qâerês; and poor Ed Jackson). If it helps, Uni Coll have won the CTS and the smart money is on them doing so again this year... but it will likely not help Steele.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 34yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 24yo; he/him]; 3. Keith Bartlett [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 7. Peter Walker [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 30yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 34yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 25yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 25yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Katie Masterson [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Derrick Gates [LB; 34yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 15. Alisha Peters [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 31yo; he/him]; 18. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [63yo; he/him]: The Unicorn has proven itself to be good, but by no means good enough, although one would not be surprised to see them remain in midtable at the end of the year. It's hard to imagine improvements being made anywhere (without upsetting any fans, of course) now that Bartlett, more of an unassuming and diligent wide player from what little we have seen of him, has slotted into the starting eleven: the backline now features an appropriate mix of potential and experience, and extraordinary levels of experience at that. Mariani, Pazorzal and Monaco alike remain club legends and all are expected to deliver on the attacking front; Wanar-Xalan is slowly getting there, but for now is known as a fair all-rounder.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 33yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 35yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 34yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Darren Barker [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Joe Folsom [LB; 34yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 15. Alexandra Barrett [LM; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 33yo; she/her]; 17. Terry Smith [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Oliver Samuels [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [45yo; she/her]: Kirkport, as is her usual form, has only made one major change to the team - but it is an absolute firecracker, with powerful striker Oliver Samuels being the first Grand Beach CS graduate since 1990 to jump to the GHC. Smith and Barker have also been introduced to the ecosystem, but as side actors for the time being. The squad is by and large predictable at this stage, but by no means is that a bad thing: Sofyan, Brown and the rest will continue working in harmony; Cleveland will continue leading one of the most diverse lines in the league; the lineup as a whole will remain as dynamic as ever and there will be no shame in accepting another there-or-thereabouts finish this time.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 26yo; she/her]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 28yo; she/her]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 4. Gary Milton [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 6. Owen Cartwright [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 30yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 35yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Michelle Tallard [ST; 23yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 30yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Gavin Parson [GK; 34yo; he/him]; 13. Bradley Holding [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 14. James Benson [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Herbert [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Jack Brewer [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Michael Harris [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Rachel Coulter [CM; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Nathaniel Jenkins [51yo; he/him]: The consensus that Jenkins is overseeing the slow, steady decline of Grand Beach endures; arguably only Newbridge the hard man, Brandon the speedster, Tallard and Halbrook the well-rounded strikers are keeping the club's hopes afloat (with all due respect to in-house nerd-geek Fulton). Alex Martins has retired, replaced by long-time substitute and similarly well-rounded midfielder Gary Milton, while Owen Cartwright has been dredged from the community school to plug the long-looming hole at rightback. In the main, though, the team is split between capable young people who may well not be regulars for a long time - future Tim Harts at worst - and players nearing retirement with no clear replacement. Hope may not be lost, but it is sinking along with any ideological vision Julia Atherton may have had for the club

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; she/her]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 33yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 28yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 25yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 8. James Walter [CM; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 29yo; she/her]; 10. Noah Chorley [ST; Private; 34yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 24yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Nathan Smith [GK; Private; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Kevin Bryson [LB; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Silver [CM; Lance-Corporal; 21yo; she/her]; 16. George Murson [ST; Private; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Natalie Evans [RM; Private; 19yo; she/her]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Luke McCarthy [47yo; Colonel; he/him]: Army and Navy finally have a new, permanent manager - and, hardly a cool hand, one who has promised to "clear out the damn place" at that. At first sight, he has certainly tried his best to do so, and without much of the fuss that surrounded Brown's supposed stopgap tenure too. With Brian Tarrant having voluntarily stepped down from the club, Rose Carter is expected to make at least some sort of impact, although she too is on the conservative side of the scale. The vast majority of the substitutes - all bar Jones and Thame - are new to the team, having been drafted in from the Army League, although most is expected at this time from Murson (expected to provide the kind of drama that Chorley has generally been lacking) and Silver (who may well prove to be an essential part of the Army system in the coming years if Green continues to neglect his partner, this time fellow newcomer and prospective playmaker Walter).

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 24yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 35yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CAPTAIN] [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 31yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 34yo; she/her]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 9. Paul Ronson [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 10. Deborah Dennis [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 29yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 13. Simon Donald [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Derry [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 15. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 16. Keith Albert [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 34yo; he/him]; 18. Chloe Newbury [RM; 33yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Frank James [47yo; he/him]: James did excellently in his first season, barely finishing second-bottom, and is therefore just about secure for his second season whatever happens. Paul Ronson is new out wide and should provide renewed attacking impetus, with Lenham and especially Dennis looking to continue their fine efforts so far. Cover will eventually be required for Grace Bryant out wide, who most reckon will retire in a few years; Simon Donald may be untested, but is probably as good as anyone else Aegis could have hoped for (James himself can testify to how successful such risk-taking can be). Street and Shepley remain at the heart of the defensive effort, though, with Wills providing much-needed goalkeeping.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Ian Black [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 2. David Wills [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 3. Alan Long [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 4. Laura Keats [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 5. Jennifer Wright [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 6. John Houseman [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Jo Johnson [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 8. Ray Smart [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. Adam Anderson [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 10. Alex Reynolds [CAPTAIN] [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 11. Patrick Trout [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Sarah Walter [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Bobby Owen [CB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Gary Norton [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Katie Richards [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Mark Ford [RM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Gordon Miller [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Mary Hatton [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [65yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing, although his alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth. Reynolds returns for a second and last season as captain for obvious reasons, while hopes are high that Black and Houseman will hit the ground running at the back to join an already-decent Wright. Keats retains Dennis' trust, too, after a strong debut season, and Anderson finally gets a start up top owing to graduations last year.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 11
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2004)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 10
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2005)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *

Insider Imogen: Never mind me, what did the captains think? (published in The Evening News, Nov-10-2006)

The Saint Eleanor League of 2006     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   15   2   5    45   24  +21    47
 2 Independence 1975                  22   14   4   4    36   16  +20    46
 3 Occidental Olympic                 22   12   2   8    41   30  +11    38
 4 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   11   4   7    45   40   +5    37
 5 Army and Navy                      22    9   7   6    25   17   +8    34
 6 Newbanks United                    22    9   7   6    34   27   +7    34
 7 Good Hope Club                     22    6   9   7    20   19   +1    27
 8 Grand Beach                        22    8   3  11    23   34  −11    27
 9 Golden Unicorn                     22    5   8   9    32   36   −4    23
10 Sword and Shield                   22    5   8   9    35   44   −9    23
11 Nova Aegis                         22    5   5  12    39   56  −17    20
12 Juventud                           22    2   3  17    21   53  −32     9

On Monday, all of you read my review of the Saint Eleanor League season just gone - where, in case you missed it, I thought that Independence 1975 punched above their weight, Newbanks United should be ashamed of themselves, Ian Jones should stay the course despite another disappointing season and the University of Saint Eleanor needs to take over Sword and Shield post-haste like they did in the olden days. But when it comes to my Friday column, I know you want to read about what the players think. That's why I've tracked down the captain of all twelve SEL sides and asked them to give four simple ratings to describe their season: how well they did personally, how well their other teammates did, how close to expectations the team performed, and whether or not their team is ready to take on 2007.

Harriet Williams (Athletic Saint Eleanor):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B - Do I think I did well this season? Obviously; no rational player would say they didn't. Do I think I did so well on my own as to have made the difference that often? Clearly not. I still think I can weave a good yarn and all that - getting the ball to where it needs to go, helping out, emotional support and suchlike - and I do think my presence on the team is necessary for the time being, but there will come a point at which the team will do just fine without me and I'd say with all the players we have, we're getting there!
- TEAMWORK: A - There is very, very little to fault in what we've done this season
- EXPECTATIONS: A+ - This team was obviously made of the right stuff to come out on top in the league, but I was definitely not expecting us to get as far as we did in the IFCF. Maybe another first-knockout-tie exit at best, I supposed. On the other hand, I don't think anyone on any team was too motivated to work too hard in the league seeing how far we've gotten!
- READINESS: A- - What strikes me about Athletic right now is that it has a very, very good range of experience; we'd all love for there to be more young blood, that's how Adam Woolley got thrown out of the hotseat a few years ago, but the way our team works is such that we can handle pretty much anything thrown at us. I don't see that changing in 2007 or 2008 for various reasons and I'd say we're ready to keep on carrying on in that time!

Cathy Winchester (Independence 1975):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: A - I'm not going to go out there and say I'm top of the tree in any terms other than the leadership hierarchy... and I'm not even that. I would say that, ninety to ninety-five percent of the time, I got onto the tackling and interception opportunities required, I moved the ball to where it needed to go and I watched out for our groups on the ball when they got into serious threat nearby. I'm always looking to improve, but that's a nice start, isn't it?
- TEAMWORK: A - There's been something of a running joke for the past few years that Lydia is really running a 6-3-1 formation. On the whole, though, it's fair to say all of the pieces have been in place. The defence has meshed as well as it did while Liam was still around - in my humble opinion - and Matt is now part of the family. Kichirō and Layla do actually link together the different parts of the pitch; they aren't entirely brutes, although they've had their fair share of punishment this season. Dortmün scored a third of everything again, or twelve, which is... wow. The attacking midfield players are also definitely on top of their game and they've all worked out how best to trap the opposing defenders; in short, we've been thinking, working hard, and getting the best results we can. Or trying to, anyway.
- EXPECTATIONS: B - Lydia has been rather insistent since she got in that our purpose as a team is to win trophies. Every time we miss out, we need to have a good think to ourselves about what we did wrong, how and why. There is going to be a lot of thinking required: about how we left the IFCF so early, how we threw away the title in the last few games with the advantage we had and how we can get back and win number twelve next year.
- READINESS: A - Everyone knows that the biggest question mark in the squad was Mark Morrison and he's done great. Robby Ellis is going to take over in goal next year once Bailey retired, he's done well enough with the chances he's had and I trust he can do so again and again and again. Pretty much everyone else in the Indy setup is proven class already.

Samuel Short (Occidental Olympic):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B- - Let's face it; I'm not the man I used to be ten or fifteen years ago. I'm getting older, I've never really been much other than moral support and that lad who puts balls into the box if they ever somehow come my way first. Lily has done a good job on the wing when she's been brought on for me. I'd dare say that Steve is a better captain than I am. I do not see myself playing next season and wish everyone the best of luck.
- TEAMWORK: A - Everything you have seen written in the press about the quality of our units and the capability of our individual players is totally correct. Especially the good writings.
- EXPECTATIONS: A+ - A good IFCF run and a return to the IFCF is what we're looking out for every season. This year, we got that and we launched ourselves into third too, which should be a big enough boost.
- READINESS: A - Other than me... do you really think Olympic needs any changes next season? Somehow, I didn't think you would.

Nobusuke Kuronuma (Hiyashi Celestia):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B - I'd absolutely say I'm slipping a bit, but only a bit. Everyone else is doing their part, even if they aren't the absolute best in the world at it - although Takeshi comes pretty close. Take me out of the equation and I'm not so sure how the system functions, although you could say that of any of us.
- TEAMWORK: A - The defence was strong. The attack was strong. The link between the defence and attack was strong. And the playmaking in general, guess what? That was also strong. There were some individual weak links from time to time, but I wouldn't say anything compromising.
- EXPECTATIONS: A - Any season like this is an excellent season.
- READINESS: A - We have the ability, the resources, and - some would argue - the squad gaps to improve. There is no reason why we cannot sign another Caradoc or another Isi over the winter, for example, in terms of the impact and energy they bring to the team.

Alan Eldridge (Army and Navy):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B+ - Was I the absolute best player? No, come on; Denise and George were better in their roles than I was. But when it comes to getting the basics right, the kind of thing the manager of the day has always drilled into us, I feel like I'm doing that all the time.
- TEAMWORK: A - Look at where we were, and where we are. Every single player, including the bench... especially the bench... was key in helping us get there. When you look at how David made up for all of the errors he made last year, or Rose proved to be Tarrant's equal, or George kept coming off the bench for clutch goals, or Mark and Sarah kept on ripping up fullbacks - not this fullback, though - that's where you see the real signs of improvement. This is a very, very easy A.
- EXPECTATIONS: A+ - I was thinking we'd come seventh or eighth. Not in the IFCF for the first time in nine years!
- READINESS: A+ - Colonel Luke McCarthy, as far as I'm concerned, is manna from heaven. He should keep on looking for strapping young individuals in the Army League; that was where General Elliott failed. If he does that, everything else will fall into place and we might even turn the clock back to 1990. No promises, though; not from anyone other than President Mitcham and God.

Kōji Katou (Newbanks United):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B+ - If you've spent more than two or three minutes around Newbanks United, you'll have worked out that people think I'm not a very consistent defender! Obviously I've been less and less inclined to agree with these arguments as time goes on; I've been constantly working on my defending since I moved here, I'm getting less fouls called against me than I ever got in Saint Eleanor before
- TEAMWORK: B - The defence was good, although I'm saying that. Emma and Rachel were good. The other Rachel and Nobuyuki were good; excellent, if I may say so, for they were among the most productive strike partners in the league. The wingers, in any sense of the word, made an excellent job of it. What we need is to push that excellence into every area of the pitch and I will happily help the next manager to get attitudes and behaviours right across the system. That is if I'm not appointed to the role myself; I'm not sure how good a job I'd make of it myself.
- EXPECTATIONS: C+ - We want to make the IFCF every season. That we did not even get that and were beaten by the Army and Navy team, of all teams, is a disappointment.
- READINESS: B- - Yes, we have a few good players - but I do honestly think that signings are needed to make us better and ensure that things like this don't happen again. What has the MFG been doing with all of this money they've had? They need to go and spend it. This isn't an Ian Graham issue; it's a capability and trust issue.

Laura Brown (Good Hope Club):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: A - I think you're well aware of my defending philosophy: try and get the ball with as little fuss, mess or fouling as possible, and then move it on with due haste. I get better and better at this every season and this time, I didn't even get into trouble against Grand Beach.
- TEAMWORK: B - I don't need to tell you how good we are or what that goodness consists of; you've read all about it already. Wait, did I say philosophy?
- EXPECTATIONS: B+ - Seventh is so-so for us; we'd like to make the IFCF, but at least we're thankful we aren't scrapping for eleventh with Nova Aegis. On the other hand, we do have what I feel are a lot of quality players and I'm surprised they've never made the IFCF, so I'm afraid I can't give this an A grade!
- READINESS: B+ - I think it's been said that the age range of Good Hope is really stratified; we have a bunch of thirty-somethings like me, and then a bunch of 23-year-olds who played for the school in the Vilitan Cove Invitational when that was still trendy. I feel like Quirky's recent work to get players from all sorts of different backgrounds on board, including Grand Beach Community School, is a net positive and I'd love to see her or her successors continue with this mission over the next few years. Then she will have developed a Good Hope we can all be proud of.

Georgia Wood (Golden Unicorn):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: B - I would say that I was good enough. Not excellent - just good enough to hold up my end of the bargain. Obviously I'd be asking questions about what our forward players are doing; they are great and I respect them immensely but they have just not been able to score all that often, which is what counts!
- TEAMWORK: B - I feel confident in saying that none of the major players are going to be leaving any time soon. It's ironic that I'm concerned that the strikers aren't doing good enough when they're the most well-oiled part of the team, while the defence is doing perfectly fine despite it being in a bit of disarray at the moment with the new players entering the setup. If we could have gotten both sectors to function well enough and the wide players to transition effectively, I'd have bumped this rating up!
- EXPECTATIONS: C - Can we please not finish ninth next season? I've lived through and excused finishing bottom, but I'm not sure I could handle another season in ninth place. That is all I ask of you, Imogen. Thanks.
- READINESS: A - I can roughly see where you're getting at with this survey: asking me how efficient I think the team is now, and how efficient it could be in a short while. I'm fairly adamant that we can do much better than this, although that's part of the territory when it comes to room for improvement. Whether that's with the current setup or a couple of signings added on, I'm not too sure, but I'd say we'd be fine either way.

Sam Newbridge (Grand Beach):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: A- - I'm the national team's enforcer, for want of a less chatty word; of course I'm going to have to show it. It's a World Cup year I played three finals games in, for crying out loud! So yeah, I'd say this was a good season for someone turning 32 and on a team like this. Hardly a work of art, though.
- TEAMWORK: B - I cannot afford any grade other than a B. An A doesn't belong anywhere other than the days we were making the IFCF and really working together; a C would be an insult towards everyone who's successfully working hard to keep their positions in order and in sync, which is the vast majority of the people on the team.
- EXPECTATIONS: B+ - My expectations for this club were, realistically, not that high - my dream expectations are far different, as you might expect - and we collectively delivered. Finishing behind the Good Hope Club after having a goal difference twelve goals worse than theirs was funny, and not in a good way, but I could generally endure another few seasons like this before I just start screaming to the sky.
- READINESS: C+ - Yes, we have some money to burn and some young guns up front, but I'm not the only one who might well age out of the system in the coming years. I mean, I hope to stay around to 2012, 2013, something like that. But in general, when you look at the ages of the squad... that is not something you are going to dig your way out of easily. Stay the course, Nate; you'll need it.

Jessica Martin (Sword and Shield):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: A- - I did as well as could be expected of me, but at the same time there's a little bit of malaise working around the system. I tend to be at my best when the people around me are focused on their own tasks and, as I hope is evident to readers, that wasn't quite happening most of the time.
- TEAMWORK: B+ - This is a textbook example of okay-to-pretty-good players working together very, very well. As you can tell, it doesn't always work out! There was a fairly sustained midseason stretch in which everything got a bit too much for everyone, we kept losing games and were floating right around the bottom. We did get out of it to the minimum extent possible when a lesser team would have just given up or collapsed entirely, but that isn't a good look for most people and nor is what's been happening to the club under Emma.
- EXPECTATIONS: D - We did not have a good season. Case closed.
- READINESS: A+ - University College are back-to-back Charles Trump Shield champions. Of course we'll be fine.

Rick Street (Nova Aegis):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: C - I used to play for Juventud. How did we concede more goals than Juventud this season? There are five players in the backline so I'll take 20% of the blame, get Frank up here and ask him what we can do to get better. I reckon I did fine but that figure is just not acceptable, at all, at this level.
- TEAMWORK: B - I'm not going to go and call this a vintage Nova Aegis team; it's not like many of them have existed. What we were, however, were good enough. You see how Lombardo and Dennis each got more than ten goals, or how Lenham got seven or eight? That's a sign that we know where our attacking strengths lie, that we can move the ball accordingly and push the opposition right to their limits. As I said, everyone in the backline is responsible for the mess we made, but we didn't have all the clown car performances, August is improving as a keeper every day and our defensive team is definitely going to be in good stead for the next couple of years.
- EXPECTATIONS: A - This was another excellent season and another demonstration of how we can improve from our current low standing to be one of the better teams in the league. We didn't quite get up from 11th yet, but we ran it pretty close with Sword and Shield - as if that state of affairs is going to last - we tried our best to win every game and we showed every single fan of our club that if they believe in us and we believe in them, we can do great things together. This is just the start.
- READINESS: B - Frank is a better manager than any of us thought he would be when he walked through that door at the start of 2005. He has taught us courage, conviction, how to push forward and drive and do all that shit. As I said, it's just a shame we aren't listening to him, nor are some of the fans, although I don't think you'll ever be able to make most of them happy. Maybe we should cast our net out a bit more, sign a couple of more youngsters, get a consistent strategy in place and we'll be out of the doom zone in no time whatsoever. That's a threat, not a promise.

Alex Reynolds (Juventud):
- SELF-ASSESSMENT: A - Eight goals wasn't as much as I was hoping for, especially not given the trends! Still, it was a good portion of what we scored, I loved working together with the other players and I feel like I did more than anyone else to make our position as good as it was.
- TEAMWORK: B - Well, a B is as good as you are going to get from a squad organised like this. This was pretty much as good as we got, though, and the draw against Indy to deny them the title they really, really wanted was quite possibly the biggest result we and I have ever gotten. That is true commitment; true spirit.
- EXPECTATIONS: B - Well, we didn't shit ourselves that much, did we?
- READINESS: D - I've been asking more and more and more questions about how Juventud works. Now I'm leaving the Poly, I feel like I can ask them in public: why does Paul Dennis insist on just randomly choosing students from around the site when he could just act like a normal club or at least hold trials first? Our low-quality team is going to keep getting low-quality seasons if we continue behaving and acting like a low-quality club. I fear that the only way to stop the decline might be to shake the league up a bit; you know.

Whether your breakfast is a supersized fryup, a slice of buttered toast or just a quick granola bar, Imogen Church is with you every Monday and Friday morning - in print and online at eveningnews.ex - to bring you in-depth coverage of how sportspeople at home and abroad really live their lives. As a little-known friend of Saint Eleanor's best and worst footballers alike, Ms Church is your window to their off-duty world - and some say that she's well-connected with some of the world's best gossip columnists on top of that, enlightening you on the glories and scandals alike of athletes beyond this small, celebrated isle.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Jan 29, 2024 12:52 am

Post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2006 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Independence 1975: 3 (2002, 2003, 2004)
Hiyashi Celestia: 3 (1999, 2000, 2005)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

ATHLETIC SAINT ELEANOR - WINNERS OF THE 2006 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 66

1. Kirsti Sundgren [Norrhem; she/her]
2. Elissa Curry [she/her]
3. Naresmet taFrexala [he/him]
4. Bridget Coombe [she/her]
5. Lydia Vickers [Saint Eleanor/Prahecq; she/her]
6. Esther Launceston [she/her]
7. Graham Lawson [he/him]
8. Harriet WIlliams [she/her]
9. Nightingale [Equestria; pegasus; she/her]
10. Tim Driver [he/him]
11. Wasemprela Sareleva [he/him]
12. Stuart Norton [he/him]
13. Ben McDougall [he/him]
14. Dennis Elton [he/him]
15. Charlotte Phillips [she/her]
16. Phil Parris [he/him]
17. Philip Coal [he/him]
18. Michael Jackett [he/him]

Manager: Yelto-Aflan Ono [Qusmo; they/them]

RESULTS OF THE 2006 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Hiyashi Celestia 2–2 Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team) (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Sword and Shield 0–3 Independence 1975
Occidental Olympic 1–0 Army and Navy
Good Hope Club 1–0 Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team)
Juventud 1–4 Golden Unicorn
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Grand Beach
Newbanks United 6–1 Goldsmiths CS (independent CTS team)
Nova Aegis 3–1 University College (Arsenal youth team)

Quarterfinals
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Good Hope Club
Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team) 3–3 Occidental Olympic (3–3 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Nova Aegis 0–3 Independence 1975
Golden Unicorn 1–2 Newbanks United

Semifinals
Newbanks United 6–2 Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team)
Independence 1975 0–1 Athletic Saint Eleanor

THE FINAL
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–2 Newbanks United

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

The Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony
presented each year by the University's Football Society
The FootSoc president is Ryan Bolton (2nd year; computer science)

Spirit of Football Award: Whitehammer Community School
Props to Whitehammer. First they deliberately lose the Charles Trump Shield final - my law student friend Ben has told me to say there's no proof it was deliberate - enabling them to prepare for the really big occasion, The Showcase, the one which gives them the really meaningful IFCF football. Then they defeat not one, but two IFCF-qualified-already teams on penalties after metric tons of goals. Then, faced with a non-IFCF-qualified team and with the prospect of having to play what is essentially their senior team in the final, they let Newbanks take on the strain of having to play the final so they avoid the shame of losing to themselves. Well done, Whitehammer. You have done us all proud.

I Can't Believe She Isn't The Team Captain Award: Bridget Coombe (Athletic Saint Eleanor)
She is, though.

Most Capable University Student Award: Alisha Peters (Golden Unicorn)
Juventud and the Golden Unicorn have historically had what can be best described as an interesting relationship. The latest twist in this tale came when Alisha, everyone's favourite first-year chemistry student, jumped off the bench with an hour played and the Unicorn only 2-1 up. From right-back, she scored almost immediately to double the lead, was a constant threat to Jo Johnson on the wing and played a major moral part in helping to ensure that the Unicorn actually won by three goals. Well done, Alisha. You may not have appeared against Newbanks, but you definitely made everyone at this awards ceremony proud.

Boring Awards Ceremony Award: The Unofficial Showcase Awards Ceremony 2006
This was one of the least eventful Showcases I have ever bore witness to, and I've bore witness to all of them. The fact I've only had three awards to hand out all day for extraordinary or unusual behaviour is extremely disappointing without context. It's to be expected when almost all of the matches, except the ones involving Whitehammer CS, have gone according to script - and when what was supposed to be the biggest derby in Eleanorian football turned out to be an uneventful 1-0 too. But wait - here's Brianna!

Brianna Austen Award for Humiliation: Libby Freeman (Hiyashi Celestia)
If you have one job, you have one job. Don't try and turn it into about five or six different jobs all aimed at completing the same job. That will make you fail all of them, including "do what everyone else has ever done and eliminate the youth team at the first hurdle," miserably. If Libby didn't understand that - take your penalties properly next time. I mean... that one was technically taken properly by my standards because it drifted so low and so wide you'd be forgiven for thinking it was a decent effort. But still.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Jan 29, 2024 12:53 am

This RP is incomplete. I will finish it later in January.

OOC:
- The 16th January section was cleared with Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom (Wlad Wlad has retired from playing football and is currently working in the back office for Ogroven Vanguardi FK, one of his ex-clubs back home).
- The 27th-28th March sections were loosely inspired by a predicament that one of my friends from elsewhere on NS found herself in a few months ago. If you or a loved one are actively intrigued by tornadoes, you know exactly what happened.

Oneshot: How many clothes does Esther Launceston wear in a year?

1st January 2006

1°C; snowing already, which is a nice touch
What I wore today: a cute little dress, MASSIVE coat, pair of tights and flats

"How many clothes do you go through in a year, Esther?" my husband asked me a few days ago. Anyone who reads The Reporter... such as Stephen and I... will know that the correct answer is "a lot." So it was today - I'd barely gotten any sleep, I hadn't prepared anything for the morning ahead (note the date) and it's a Sunday. Oh, no. There is nothing a quick spot of ironing cannot do, however, and I had as close to a good time as you can get in a mostly-full, theologically-conservative church. I imagine Bridget wore less than this to Catholic Mass; not by a lot, though.

16th January 2006

18°C; nice and overcast with patches of central heating
What I wore today: a DIGNIFIED pyjama set. Thank youuuu.

One point from six... not bad. Probably terrible. We are exactly two goals behind Brenecia with three games to play in the playoff places. At this point in time, though, that is not a bad place to be. Maybe the Eleanorian national team will start to get out of the slump I've been predicting for years we'll no longer be in - which makes me a not-very-good predictor of events!

Anyway, enough about the shock and horror - Wlad Wlad had come over to visit, again. I answered the door with a bit of embarrassment (it's only 10am!), prepared him some coffee (yes, I have a stockpile of this stuff for guests and my husband only) and settled down for one last chat about the future. He was entirely convinced I'd done an excellent job as a defender, especially compared to 1999 when I started out and he was the most experienced MAN on the team, and that Lydia Vickers - the new one - would be a bit more pushy. I told him I was very much used to having to work with pushy defenders and that I'd be fine sitting back, rolling the ball around, and so on instead of just getting the other person.

When I called him up a few hours later to find out what he told Lydia, he said... much the same, really. She's also looking forward to the prospect of playing alongside me as well, although probably not because of our playstyles... and I'll meet her in a couple of weeks just to confirm he didn't lie to me. He does not have long left in Saint Eleanor, although it's not because he's a liar and that is far from a bad thing anyway given that he has a contract tied up back home. It was very much nice knowing him, though! I fear what would have happened to my career if he didn't.

5th February 2006

-4°C (25°F); sunny, for whatever reason
What I wore today: a shirt, a pair of leggings, a really big coat (again), gloves, a scarf, a little hat, a very tall pair of boots and sunglasses (which I didn't really use). Oh, my.

Another Sunday, another sermon! I will, however, be the first to admit I've heard roughly 80% of it before in some past sermon, probably around 2002-03. Yes, I do go to church every week unless extraordinary circumstances prevent it and I have definitely gone to church in worse conditions than this. Women are supposed to keep their hats on in church but I don't think they mean the woolly bobbly types; I know I'm comparing myself to Bridget again but she probably wore something more wide-brimmed/dignified/whatever. (update 07-02: she did!)

You might think I was overdressed - Bridget probably would have been (aaaagh - again!), she's well-travelled enough. I'm the typical parochial sort who complains whenever it gets below zero or above thirty. But I do like wearing clothes. So who do I impress today? Probably Sam Newbridge over in Grand Beach; with recent improvements to the track and suchlike, now I can get the tube without having to change anywhere (except perhaps the stadium, that being where the Orange Line is). Definitely the station, actually; I've said it's much too cold.

One thing Newbridge was not was impressed - he asked me to hang my coat up, and my scarf up, and my hat up, and put my gloves somewhere (on the coffee table I decided was best). I was at least allowed to keep my shoes on! "Anything else, Sam?" "Yes. I've set up some gallows at the training ground a few minutes away; I'll hang you there shortly, just let me get these things done first." Well, at least I was being hoisted by someone else's petard this time... I like to think I am made out of tougher stuff than most Eleanorians but sometimes I am not - I have very human vulnerabilities!

15th February 2006

4°C; overcast and probably threatening to rain
What I wore today: a blouse, pleated-checkered skirt, little red blazer, pair of tights and lace-ups

Very, very few things make me happier in life than when Eleanorian teams succeed. If the nation as a whole does something incredible, that would make me happier. The same would go if my husband or I saved someone else's life or got them out of danger. Obviously I'd say that Athletic succeeding would give me more of a boost than anyone else doing so; I'm not leaving the club any time soon. When I have a child - I'd like to have one; maybe ten years from now - I'll always be impressed if he or she does anything nice. But, for the time being, the success of others is somewhere close to the top of the tree.

So... imagine my surprise when I realised that both of the Eleanorian representatives in the Challengers' Cup first quailfying round had made it all the way to the third!

ChC 1QR:
MKS Rawa 4-5 NEWBANKS UNITED [3-3 away, 2-1 home]
CF Nova Port 3-4 OCCIDENTAL OLYMPIC [2-2 away, 2-1 home]

ChC 2QR:
Gortz United 2-4 OCCIDENTAL OLYMPIC [2-1 away, 2-1 home]
SK Aasiaat Harbour 4-5 NEWBANKS UNITED [1-2 away, 4-2 home]

Anyone who's sufficiently involved in Eleanorian football will have a large-enough contact list. Obviously I knew how to get to Glenn French - and I was thankful for it; he was wise enough to offer me a glass of water without ice. Asked for comment, he said that "we had enough commitment and dedication in the ranks, we got both of those teams in the pincher and I'd say the diversification strategy's really been working out for us recently." That would not be saying a lot if you did not know about George Dunbar's very literal decentralisation of the lineup! (Any thoughts on my outfit? "No.")

I'm on nice terms with Rachel McNamara at United as well, although this is most likely a consequence of us having shared an international squad together for an entire qualifiers and neither of us complaining about it once. She said the run was "all very unlikely, as usual" and that "we were riding our luck for a good portion of some of those ties, certainly - that is what happens to you when you play good teams in not-so-good leagues, although I've heard things about the Valhallan league. If we could just get a good result in the third round, whoever that may be against, that would be nice." (Any thoughts on my outfit? "I'd wear that.")

If I needed confirmation that this was incredible... that is the confirmation. From what I've read, I think that the Eleanorians were the better team in all eight games! Maybe not the first Gortz leg, though; that was won in stoppage time.

17th February 2006

7°C; utterly hammering it down
What I wore today: a blouse, pleated-checkered skirt, little red blazer, pair of tights and lace-ups

Busy day today! We played Grand Beach at home to start the season; we won 4-2 and while I wouldn't say I did too much, everybody on both teams definitely enjoyed themselves. (They probably will not be so happy in October.) This was a 3pm kickoff, as always, and I figured I'd be home around six, and my husband had his own plans - which means a dinner "date!" The quotation marks are important.

Conveniently, I'd also not realised that I hadn't visited any of the Indy players, although the convenience isn't because they're Indy and I hate them - they'd also made it to the Challengers' Cup third qualifying round, albeit after... losing to Kingston of Quebec over two legs. And it was the opposition's first ever tie in that competition, too. Wait, I'm Esther Launceston. Why am I writing like an impartial football columnist? Have all those years of watching Channel 4 gotten to me?

CL 2QR (league):
Kingston FC 2-1 INDEPENDENCE 1975 [0-1 away, 1-1 home]

Oh yes, that is an orange pen I have with me; I have lots of different colours and I was definitely not influenced by Bridget because I got a whole pack of them in my schooldays! Unfortunately none of them work now and a couple have even leaked on me - why do pens always leak on me when I'm using them? it's happened five or six times! - so I have gotten new ones over the years. Very stylish, if we're keeping with the theme of this sub-diary. (I keep a normal diary about normal things, like football and what I've been getting up to today.)

If I was going to ask anyone, I might as well have asked David Newcastle, infamous if anything for how much attention he pays to things. He was definitely not happy with how his team performed: "Yes, Kingston are a good team. We're also a good team. Did they deserve to win the battle of wits? Probably. We were not sharp enough on either day - 90% and all that - and it was showing in both legs. I had to tell the gaffer about it so she could do something ahead of the home tie." And where are we going for dinner? "The only decent pizza place around these parts, of course." It was nice, and he offered to settle the bill in full (which was even nicer) - but whatever was talked about there, it was not the Champions' League and it was definitely not fashion. Bring on Starksville Coastal, please!

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Apr 28, 2024 11:27 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2007

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and in part the IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 53 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools.

All teams, except last year's quarterfinalists, enter into the first round. All quarterfinalists except the defending champions enter in the second round, while the holders join in the third. All games except the final (at the Nat Lib) are played over two legs, with extra time and then penalties being played in the event of both games having the same result. Away goals count double, so not all aggregate ties will result in extra time. OOCly, the Græntfjaller method of ET and PSO scorination is used - although I add the goals scored in extra time and make those count towards away goals - and home advantage applies.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2005 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1988. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups (in the unlikely event they win the Showcase too) and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, albeit on an ad-hoc basis with the Misiriyaa Football Group acquisition. The trials have varying levels of success, but - for some reason - somebody is always offered a contract through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers. Many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen, but not in the droves of years past.

Round 1 (1/23 final)

Bishopgate CS 2–3 St Paul CS
St Paul CS 1–0 Bishopgate CS
St Paul CS win 4-2 on aggregate

Tannerton CS 0–1 Mount Dennis CS
Mount Dennis CS 1–5 Tannerton CS
Tannerton CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Allington CS 1–0 Carpentersville CS
Carpentersville CS 0-2 Allington CS
Allington CS win 3-0 on aggregate

St George CS 0–1 Deepchester CS
Deepchester CS 3–4 St George CS
St George CS win 4-4 on aggregate (away goals)

Williamstown CS 1–4 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 4–0 Williamstown CS
Hartridge CS win 8-1 on aggregate

Millerham CS 1–4 Brightway CS
Brightway CS 1–0 Millerham CS
Brightway CS win 5-1 on aggregate

Richardgate CS 1–1 North Seville CS
North Seville CS 1–1 Richardgate CS (2-2 AET)
Richardgate CS win 3-3 on aggregate (away goals)

Farbend CS 0–2 Trident CS
Trident CS 1–0 Farbend CS
Trident CS win 3-0 on aggregate

Crownedhead CS 0–0 Atlas CS
Atlas CS 6–1 Crownedhead CS
Atlas CS win 6-1 on aggregate

Elsmouth CS 0–2 Buckhead CS
Buckhead CS 2–1 Elsmouth CS
Buckhead CS win 4-1 on aggregate

Kelbury CS 2–3 Bramblewood CS
Bramblewood CS 2–0 Kelbury CS
Bramblewood CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Sunset Gates CS 4–1 New Bayside CS
New Bayside CS 0–0 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS win 4-1 on aggregate

Blackwood CS 1–0 Wellington CS
Wellington CS 3–3 Blackwood CS
Blackwood CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Army School 2–3 Liberty
Liberty 1–0 Army School
Liberty win 4-2 on aggregate

Eastern Fell CS 1–3 Parkside CS
Parkside CS 3–1 Eastern Fell CS
Parkside CS win 6-2 on aggregate

Queenston CS 7–2 Springfield CS
Springfield CS 1–1 Queenston CS
Queenston CS win 8-3 on aggregate

Newbanks CS 3–1 New Lizard CS
New Lizard CS 2–4 Newbanks CS
Newbanks CS win 7-3 on aggregate

Oaktree CS 2–2 New St Paul CS
New St Paul CS 2–2 Oaktree CS (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
New St Paul CS win 4-4 on aggregate (penalties)

Holland CS 0–2 Broadlands CS
Broadlands CS 1–1 Holland CS
Broadlands CS win 3-1 on aggregate

Airport CS 1–2 Northolt CS
Northolt CS 0–2 Airport CS
Airport CS win 3-2 on aggregate

Girls' Preparatory 2–2 Silverton CS
Silverton CS 0–1 Girls' Preparatory
GIrls' Preparatory win 3-2 on aggregate

Marketplace CS 3–2 Magna CS
Magna CS 1–1 Marketplace CS
Marketplace CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Bonpool CS 1–2 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS 5–1 Bonpool CS
Grand Beach CS win 7-2 on aggregate

The lucky 23 winners in Round 1 will be joined by last year's 7 non-champion quarterfinalists - Boys' Preparatory, Eleanorian Academy, Goldsmiths CS, Jacobville CS, Premier CS, Saint Benedict's Catholic, and Whitehammer CS - in Round 2.

Round 2 (1/15 final)

Broadlands CS 0–1 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory 1–1 Broadlands CS
Girls' Preparatory win 2-1 on aggregate

Buckhead CS 3–1 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 1-2 Buckhead CS
Buckhead CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Eleanorian Academy 3–4 Airport CS
Airport CS 2–5 Eleanorian Academy
Eleanorian Academy win 8-6 on aggregate

Richardgate CS 2–0 Blackwood CS
Blackwood CS 4-0 Richardgate CS
Blackwood CS win 4-2 on aggregate

Bramblewood CS 0–2 Trident CS
Trident CS 5-4 Bramblewood CS
Trident CS win 7-4 on aggregate

Boys' Preparatory 1–0 St Paul CS
St Paul CS 0-2 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory win 3-0 on aggregate

Liberty 1–0 St George CS
St George CS 1–1 Liberty
Liberty win 2-1 on aggregate

Brightway CS 2–1 Atlas CS
Atlas CS 10–2 Brightway CS
Atlas CS win 11-4 on aggregate

Whitehammer CS 2–0 Queenston CS
Queenston CS 0-6 Whitehammer CS
Whitehammer CS win 8-0 on aggregate

Premier CS 5–3 Tannerton CS
Tannerton CS 1–1 Premier CS
Premier CS win 6-4 on aggregate

Newbanks CS 0–1 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS 3–3 Newbanks CS
Grand Beach CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Marketplace CS 2–1 Carpentersville CS
Carpentersville CS 1–3 Marketplace CS
Marketplace CS win 5-2 on aggreagate

Sunset Gates CS 0–1 Jacobville CS
Jacobville CS 0-1 Sunset Gates CS (2–2 AET)
Jacobville CS win 3-2 on aggregate (after extra time)

New St Paul CS 0–3 Parkside CS
Parkside CS 4–2 New St Paul CS
Parkside CS win 7-2 on aggregate

Goldsmiths CS 1–5 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 Goldsmiths CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic win 7-1 on aggregate

The lucky 15 winners in Round 1 will be joined by defending champions University College in Round 3.

Round 3 (1/8 final)

Blackwood CS 4–2 Whitehammer CS
Whitehammer CS 3–0 Blackwood CS
Whitehammer CS win 5-4 on aggregate

Marketplace CS 1–1 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory 2–1 Marketplace CS
Girls' Preparatory win 3-2 on aggregate

Buckhead CS 2–2 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Buckhead CS
Boys' Preparatory win 3-2 on aggregate

Liberty 4–3 Trident CS
Trident CS 1–1 Liberty
Liberty win 5-4 on aggregate

Grand Beach CS 4–2 Parkside CS
Parkside CS 0–0 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS win 4-2 on aggregate

University College 2–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–0 University College
Saint Benedict's Catholic win 4-2 on aggregate

Jacobville CS 1–3 Premier CS
Premier CS 0–0 Jacobville CS
Premier CS win 3-1 on aggregate

Atlas CS 4–2 Eleanorian Academy
Eleanorian Academy 1–3 Atlas CS
Atlas CS win 7-3 on aggregate

Round 4 (1/4 final)

Grand Beach CS 2–0 Liberty
Liberty 0–0 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS win 2-0 on aggregate

Premier CS 0–2 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory 0–2 Premier CS (0–2 AET) (3–0 pen.)
Girls' Preparatory win 2-2 on aggregate (penalties)

Whitehammer CS 2–2 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory 1–1 Whitehammer CS
Boys' Preparatory win 3-3 on aggregate (away goals)

Saint Benedict's Catholic 2–2 Atlas CS
Atlas CS 3–5 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic win 7-5 on aggregate

Semifinals
Grand Beach CS 2–1 Girls' Preparatory
[John Floyd 70', Elizabeth Warr 77'; Mara Hillsworth 41']
Girls' Preparatory 0–0 Grand Beach CS
[no goals]
Grand Beach CS win 2-1 on aggregate

Boys' Preparatory 1–0 Saint Benedict's Catholic
[Matthew Lake 83']
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–1 Boys' Preparatory
[Beatrix Hillman-Tower 24'; Morgan Spence 62']
Boys' Preparatory win 2-1 on aggregate

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2007 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Grand Beach CS 1–1 Boys' Preparatory (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.) ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (53,205 in attendance)
[Stephen Fine 11'; Paul Simpson 64']
[penalty shootout, Grand Beach taking first: John Floyd GOAL, Paul Simpson SAVED, James Salt GOAL, Morgan Spence GOAL, Elizabeth Warr GOAL, Phil Henderson GOAL, Michael Cameron GOAL, Liam Wallace WIDE]

Saint Eleanor will enter Grand Beach CS, the winners of the 2007 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 18. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Gordon Whitehouse [GK; he/him]; 2. Stephen Fine [LB; he/him]; 3. Mary Youngman [RB; she/her]; 4. Lucas Donaldson [CB; he/him]; 5. Lily Bruton [CB; she/her]; 6. James Salt [CM; he/him]; 7. Alana Driver [LM; she/her]; 8. Elizabeth Warr [CM; captain; she/her]; 9. Gareth Worthingham [ST; he/him]; 10. John Floyd [ST; he/him]; 11. Peter Ryan [RM; he/him]; 12. Owen McDonald [GK; he/him]; 13. Andrew Howard [RB; he/him]; 14. Rachel Barclay [CB; she/her]; 15. Mark Gillis [RM; he/him]; 16. Monica Johnson [CM; she/her]; 17. Ruth Farley [ST; she/her]; 18. Michael Cameron [LM; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Kevin Wright [he/him].

Grand Beach CS will play their home matches in the RSC and - if needs be - CWC at The Roundtable in Grand Beach district, seated capacity 600. Named because it was the host of an iconic meeting which resulted in the sports teams being effectively saved many decades ago, the Roundtable is a physically unremarkable, single-stand venue, although uncovered standing room is of course available in the other sections. Nobody can accuse this of being a cavernous or atmospheric stadium, but the GBSC, the Boys in Orange, the Sandcastlers - however you want to call them - call this place home, and that alone matters to them.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2007, with Independence 1975 in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 19 - Whitehammer CS (crest left) and the Eleanorian Academy (crest right) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 19. Their managers, Sarah Newbury [she/her] and Michael Black [he/him], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Mara Hillsworth. The Girls' Preparatory's dynamic playmaker, more information about her will be deposited in this space later for time's sake.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Apr 28, 2024 11:57 pm

Important OOC note: The Isabelle Klein-Swann concept was cleared with Queb in its entirety, lest I be accused of the dreaded Godmod.

The Saint Eleanor League of 2007

Incorporating post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2007 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Independence 1975: 3 (2002, 2003, 2004)
Hiyashi Celestia: 3 (1999, 2000, 2005)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)
Athletic Saint Eleanor: 1 (2006)

Also incorporating a very, very quick review of 2007's IFCF proceedings, the 18th of their kind

Preview of the League sides (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {all eligible NT flags, if non-EXT; see below} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2006 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 15th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2007, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
Underlined single nationals play for the national team they are eligible for as of the start of 2007. Underlined dual nationals play for the national team whose flag appears first before their name as of that date.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2007's list of dates here. Please refer to the spoiler there.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-1-3-2): 1. Kirsti Sundgren [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 4. Bridget Coombe [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CDM; 32yo; she/her]; 5. + Lydia VIckers [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 26yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Harriet Williams [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CM; 38yo; she/her]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [ST; pegasus; 35yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Stuart Norton [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 13. Ben McDougall [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 17. James Johnson [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Michael Jackett [CM; 27yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [45yo; they/them]: Yelto-Aflan, who took over an Athletic in decay at the turn of this century, came within arguably two late Brett Sarcav-Jones strikes of the Challengers' Cup final, dragged them to a first Showcase win and a fourth League title last year. Expectations are thus high, although not so high that they should expect to be removed any time within the next few years. With Launceston ruled out of action for most of the season, Williams returns for one last season before she hands over the armband (most likely to Nightingale, herself a tutor in her position) to provide cover at the back, give Michael Jackett some preparatory if extended game-time, link up attack and defence from a deeper but more dynamic position than normal - as if the manager's reputation as "The Tinkerperson" were not enough already - and generally kick ass. There are rumours that Bridget Coombe might want to leave, but she is showing no signs of that here and should give Athletic the world-class touch that gives them yet another title. There is little need to say more, if only for the sake of saving ink.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. John Bailey [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [GK; 39yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; 29yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 36yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 27yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 23yo; she/her]; 6. Matt Morrison [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. + Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 23yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 30yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 23yo; he/him]; 11. Gary Morgan [RM; 24yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Robby Ellis [GK; 23yo; he/him]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 14. Joe Willis [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Ian Marks [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Angela Spooner [RM; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [52yo; she/her]: This is a team that has not changed much over the past few years, and Sharp admits it - although, with Bailey's retirement coming at the end of the year, more outgoings feared, and a good chance that Athletic could overtake Indy on titles won at the end of it all, much change is expected to come. Matsuda, Grover and Newcastle are all famed as among the world's best midfielders, certainly; Wilson has more than proven herself and, despite her young age, should help Morrison get on the ladder too. The team is dripping with household names wherever you look, but few should be spoken of as highly as Dortmün Çídh, who went from obscurity to become possibly the defining player in his position in the league - hardly the first to do so, but one of the best. In theory, this side could do great things, although the practice will need to wait a while.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 26yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Pringle [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 25yo; he/him]; 7. Samuel Short [CAPTAIN] [LM; 36yo; he/him]; 8. Brian Hurd [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 25yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 30yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 32yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 24yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 24yo; he/him]; 14. Shaun Trellis [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 22yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 25yo; she/her]; 17. Lily Emmerson [LM; 21yo; she/her]; 18. Wendy Smith [ST; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [48yo; he/him]: Dunbar has earned a reputation as an understated legend in his time, quietly building on one of the best teams in the business while never taking the credit. Pringle's introduction to the starting lineup should prove to be a good gamble given Trellis' age, Pringle's reputation and the consistency the switch seems to provide to the setup. Curran remains the crucial fullback, although Short and Hurd are still not to be underestimated given the circumstances, and no summary of this team can go without mentioning how good the central three attackers are - they are, justly, on the national team and among the world's best. Perhaps they belong in the same category as Celestia - excellent performances year after year - but on a smaller, much more under-the-radar scale.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 33yo; she/her]; 3. Sarah Parton [CB; 27yo; she/her]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Caradoc Anghoill [RB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 31yo; he/him]; 8. Maria Morgan [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 11. James Heath [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Kelly Bayliss [GK; 32yo; she/her]; 13. Nigel Vincent [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Robert Williams [CM; 34yo; he/him]; 15. Edward Ruthan [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 31yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [44yo; she/her]: The manager has been around for so long at this point that some fans are starting to call her "Queen Rachel," immovable except by personal choice or death. Another good finish and another almost-but-not-quite Challengers' Cup run is as expected, and ought to recur this year. Ruthan, the new left-back, should in theory be in line to replace Nicole Morlock, but she too is going nowhere fast as possibly the quietest piece of what is one of the quieter defences in the league. Morgan continues to stand out as the midfield transition player, but the capabilities of Galbraith - or indeed the well-known Goldsmith - should not be underestimated. The Kandorese contingent in the side remain on the national team, in the good graces of supporters and (especially in Honda's case) lionised as among the best in the world in their positions.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; she/her]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 34yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 29yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 26yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 8. James Walter [CM; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 9. Janice Bartley [ST; Private; 30yo; she/her]; 10. George Murson [ST; Lance-Corporal; 21yo; he/him; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 25yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Nathan Smith [GK; Private; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Kevin Bryson [LB; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Silver [CM; Lance-Corporal; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Johanna Spencer [ST; Private; 19yo; she/her]; 17. Natalie Evans [RM; Private; 20yo; she/her]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Luke McCarthy [48yo; Colonel; he/him]: If military discipline is what McCarthy wanted, he got it, as he delivered a surprise IFCF position and restored the kind of no-nonsense football for which Army had always been known. Murson is the main upgrade, promoted in both rank and standing as he looks to add more pizzazz to the team than they've bargained for in a while, while Walter and the criminally-underrated Gould should remain the key impulses in midfield, and the defence is still one of the best in the business for reasons that should be painfully obvious by now. While this squad, like many before it, is fairly devoid of new faces, McCarthy deserves a break - he added plenty of bright young things last year.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 30yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 29yo; she/her]; 3. + Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 37yo; he/him]; 4. + Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 7. + Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 28yo; she/her]; 10. + Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 27yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 32yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 23yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Catherine Morrison [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Palerenala vaEplanera [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Simon Smith [ST; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [59yo; he/him]: The writing is, was, and arguably always has been on the wall for Graham, who is finally starting to face up to the reality of being under the Misiriyaa Football Group's command. He has taken Smith into the squad as the latest trialist, but this is yet another year with no new signings and no hope of much experience for the youngsters. Certainly replacements for Katou and Borysov - both of whom are on the verge of ending their playing careers, given the expectations of their species - would be needed at some point. The odds are that whoever comes next will need to focus on how much the squad has been frontloaded - McNamara and Ishida are both good, fairly-rounded players and are the standouts of the team, but everyone else is ordinary at best (except perhaps Francis and Woodhouse, inseparable in spirit and ability) and impotent at worst. If Army and Navy could do it, so should United.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Robert Walter [RB; 34yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 36yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 33yo; she/her]; 9. Sarah Daltrey [RM; 35yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Darren Barker [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Keith Barnett [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 15. Alexandra Barrett [LM; 23yo; she/her]; 16. Sophie Lockley [CM; 34yo; she/her]; 17. Terry Smith [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Oliver Samuels [ST; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [46yo; she/her]: Change is once again the enemy for Kirkport, who makes no changes at all save to add some bench fodder who honestly doesn't mind the prospect - he said so himself. Nobody needs to be handheld through the core of this team: Cleveland remains potent, if annoying; Bryant is still a damned fine player at this level, and is one of the greatest never to have made the national team; Sofyan has been similarly cheated of international representation given his reputation as a smooth operator; Brown, the wise head on wiser shoulders, should retire even though it would be in her best interests to stay on; and the more said about Falconer, Downing, Burrow and so on, the better. Midtable remains the safe bet.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 27yo; she/her]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 29yo; she/her]; 3. Callum McArthur [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 4. Gary Milton [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 6. Owen Cartwright [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 31yo; she/her]; 8. Douglas Westwood [CM; 36yo; he/him]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 29yo; she/her]; 10. Esther Vaughan [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 31yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Gavin Parson [GK; 35yo; he/him]; 13. Richard Booth [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. James Benson [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Herbert [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Jack Brewer [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Michelle Tallard [ST; 24yo; she/her]; 18. Rachel Coulter [CM; 20yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Nathaniel Jenkins [52yo; he/him]: Just when we all thought Grand Beach had used up their luck and skill, Jenkins springs a surprise - bringing on the much-feted Esther Vaughan to start in a team that is otherwise desperate for more and more firepower. That she has called the club "almost a foreign country" and does everything else in Collegiate district shouldn't bode well, but SESB's reporters are well-aware that she has her ways, and she's more of a purist than either of her competing strikers. Newbridge as a defender is beyond competent, having cut down on his bad behaviour as much as he could have without losing his essence, and is the key to a defence that is not so much old as it is experienced (or perhaps wise, given Cartwright's place). There is relatively immense depth on the bench, with everyone (except Parson, a mentor of sorts) young and chomping at the bit for minutes of their own; it is easy to see how each of them can fit into the equation, especially Coulter, arguably a third striker who seems almost tailor-made to succeed Westwood.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 35yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 3. Keith Bartlett [RB; 23yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 7. Peter Walker [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 31yo; she/her]; 9. Melcheta Pazorzal [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 26yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Katie Masterson [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Burns [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 23yo; she/her]; 15. Alisha Peters [RB; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 32yo; he/him]; 18. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Ian Jones [64yo; he/him]: Graham may not be the only manager, the only Tinhamptonian or the only Ian to leave the dugout this year. Jones, appointed a whole decade ago to bring the Golden Unicorn out of the doldrums, has done exactly that; unfortunately, their couple of years in the IFCF were a small price to pay for a return to barrel-scraping. There is seemingly a herd of sacred cows in the team, some for good reason: Wood is iconic already and dreads leaving Brightway under any circumstances; Mariani has expressed his unwavering commitment to the club and has proven to be one of the most versatile players in the league regardless; Wanar-Xalan is promising, multipurpose, and arguably the median player; Pazorzal and Hughes are increasingly unremarkable and a couple of years off retiring; Monaco should frankly have been moved on in her prime. Maybe there is an opening for Foley to finally reciprocate the kindness with which Tim Hart has shown his clubs, but it is unlikely anyone will be joining her any time soon unless serious changes are made - which I cannot see Jones making.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Michael Hall [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 28yo; she/her]; 4. Samuel Walcott [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 31yo; he/him]; 6. Joe Watts [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 9. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 26yo; she/her]; 10. Rosa Strong [CAM; 19yo; she/her]; 11. Naclé Öhân [RM; 19yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Àlfôn Qâerês [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Ed Jackson [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 14. John Alexander [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 27yo; she/her]; 16. Pakelana Vezara [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 24yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [46yo; she/her]: Every now and then, University College win the Charles Trump Shield, forcing Sword and Shield - their parent club - into a transition. This time, they've won back-to-back titles, meaning the road back up will be long but most likely smooth: Rosa Strong and Naclé Öhân, both impressive position players in their time, jump into the starting lineup immediately, while Pakelana Vezara is available should a need for backup anywhere in central midfield arise. Hugh Roanoke is the new captain, but very much takes up a temporary mantle for the next few years while helping all the new faces settle in and generally keeping the defence stable while they await replacements of their own (not as though any are needed, bar perhaps a couple of years for the nondescript John Alexander). Still, Martin and Gordon are out; this would be a hammer blow in normal times but perhaps cause for the sack if the new generation gets failed.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 25yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 36yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CAPTAIN] [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 32yo; she/her]; 7. Susie Macintyre [LM; 35yo; she/her]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 9. Paul Ronson [RM; 20yo; he/him]; 10. Deborah Dennis [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 30yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 13. Simon Donald [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Mike Derry [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 15. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 25yo; he/him]; 16. Keith Albert [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Ronald Silliman [ST; 35yo; he/him]; 18. Patrick Trout [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Frank James [48yo; he/him]: James looks increasingly likely to survive his third season as manager, which would easily mark him out as one of the club's greatest ever, and continues to trust in this similarly strong Nova Aegis side. Lombardo is the star of the team, capable of doing just about anything with aplomb, and is the de-facto leader of the midfield and attacking lines as Street - responsible, co-operative and not at all dirty - is the leader of the team. Dennis and Lenham, freed of the shackles of George Guest's ghost, have been almost hypnotic at times and can be relied on to maintain their dynamic partnership. If the boss continues his process of gradual evolution rather than sudden change or, as so many of his forebears have been guilty of, no change at all, it will be a bona-fide success story all round.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Ian Black [CAPTAIN] [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 2. Katie Richards [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 3. Paul Woodley [RB; 19yo; he/him]; 4. Laura Keats [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 5. Jennifer Wright [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 6. John Houseman [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 7. James Edwardson [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 8. Sophie Barker [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 9. Adam Anderson [ST; 21yo; he/him]; 10. Bill Wood [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 11. Mark Ford [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Sarah Walter [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Bobby Owen [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Gary Norton [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Rebecca Porter [LB; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Sarah Carpenter [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 17. Frank Joseph [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Alexia Miller [ST; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [65yo; he/him]: Dennis, long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known, has a wealth of experience in getting his players physically fit, mentally ready, able to pass their final exams, and sometimes good enough to keep playing, although his alleged expertise has not stopped them hovering around twelvth. Black has proven his worth enough to be appointed as captain, although nobody is willing to say whether he smooth-talked his boss into it. He heads over a defence that, while not particularly outstanding, is good enough to not fail at every key moment. Arguably the most promising player in the team is Bill Wood, a strong striker - literally - in 2005's mostly-good Grand Beach CS side, although he will be assisted by relative newcomers James Edwardson and Mark Ford in his duties, which is a liability as much as it is an opportunity.

List of SEL winners

Independence 1975: 11
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2004)

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 11
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *
JUDGMENT DAY

RESULTS OF THE 2007 LEAGUE

▼▼ The Saint Eleanor League of 2007     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
►►  1 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   12   8   2    39   23  +16    44    Champions' League 19; Cygnus Cup 67
►►  2 Independence 1975                  22   11   6   5    28   15  +13    39    Champions' League 19
►►  3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22    9   9   4    37   23  +14    36    Challengers' Cup 19
►►  4 Occidental Olympic                 22    9   8   5    41   36   +5    35    Challengers' Cup 19
►►  5 Newbanks United                    22    8   9   5    30   23   +7    33    Challengers' Cup 19
►►  6 Army and Navy                      22    9   5   8    23   16   +7    32
►►  7 Sword and Shield                   22    8   5   9    36   35   +1    29
►►  8 Grand Beach                        22    7   8   7    27   28   −1    29
►►  9 Good Hope Club                     22    7   6   9    25   35  −10    27
►► 10 Golden Unicorn                     22    7   2  13    31   37   −6    23
►► 11 Nova Aegis                         22    5   7  10    29   38   −9    22
►► 12 Juventud                           22    1   5  16    26   63  −37     8

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

ATHLETIC SAINT ELEANOR - WINNERS OF THE 2007 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 67

1. Kirsti Sundgren [Norrhem; she/her]
2. Elissa Curry [she/her]
3. Naresmet taFrexala [he/him]
4. Bridget Coombe [she/her]
5. Lydia Vickers [Saint Eleanor/Prahecq; she/her]
6. Esther Launceston [she/her]
7. Graham Lawson [he/him]
8. Harriet WIlliams [she/her]
9. Nightingale [Equestria; pegasus; she/her]
10. Tim Driver [he/him]
11. Wasemprela Sareleva [he/him]
12. Stuart Norton [he/him]
13. Ben McDougall [he/him]
14. Dennis Elton [he/him]
15. Charlotte Phillips [she/her]
16. Phil Parris [he/him]
17. Philip Coal [he/him]
18. Michael Jackett [he/him]

Manager: Yelto-Aflan Ono [Qusmo; they/them]

RESULTS OF THE 2007 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Army and Navy 0–0 Independence 1975 (1–0 AET)
Juventud 2–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic (independent CTS team) (2–2 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Grand Beach CS (Grand Beach youth team) 0–1 Nova Aegis
Golden Unicorn 2–2 Hiyashi Celestia (2–4 AET)
Occidental Olympic 5–2 Sword and Shield
Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 0–5 Athletic Saint Eleanor
Good Hope Club 1–1 Grand Beach (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Newbanks United 0–0 Girls' Preparatory (independent CTS team) (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Quarterfinals
Girls' Preparatory (independent CTS team) 2–3 Nova Aegis
Athletic Saint Eleanor 3–1 Good Hope Club
Hiyashi Celestia 3–1 Occidental Olympic
Juventud 1–4 Army and Navy

Semifinals
Hiyashi Celestia 2–2 Athletic Saint Eleanor (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Army and Navy 1–0 Nova Aegis

THE FINAL
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Army and Navy

* * * * * * * * * *

Isabelle Klein-Swann's diary (this entry made at the end of the 2063-65 season in Quebecois time; 2007 in Eleanorian time)

I suppose now is a good time to remind myself of who and what I am, although I do this every year - seventeen years old; child of an Eleanorian and a Quebecois, both of whom asked me to keep my feet on the ground and my mind up in space; stranded at le Lycee-de-Levis in Quebec; enjoy it there, by and large; twigged towards the arts, not the sciences, and would like to become a columnist or a foreign correspondent one day although I am probably doomed to churn out reams of bad novels (I should know, I've read my share); share the school bus with several dozen other classmates, some of whom barely know who I am, most of whom are aware and talk to me sometimes, a couple of whom I class as friends and one of whom is an out-and-out bastard I am thankfully on the opposite end of the bus from.

It would take far, far too much time for me to write about the Quebecois league and all of their teams (and I am also biased in favour of the local team, who you can tell haven't done too much), but I suppose I could easily grade the Eleanorian teams. They're familiar to me, they sound like fun, I could see myself playing for one of them if I was actually good at sports instead of just being the daughter of a high-achieving family in Levis who want me to do something extremely important with my life overriding even a shot at World Cup glory and I'm surprised more people don't talk about them (including at school; whenever I try, I'm somewhat teased, which makes a difference from being relentlessly teased about Levis Athletic). So what do I make of the Eleanorians?

Athletic Saint Eleanor: World-beaters, although they didn't really act like it for most of the Champions League group-stages. I blame Esther Launceston; she's a good player, absolutely a delight to watch, and honestly Esther is a nice name for a girl, but maybe she should try not getting into unexplained accidents that rule her out of the IFCF in any capacity other than as an unusual-looking spectator. (And in the Cup Winners Cup - making it past the last sixteen is one thing, to get to the final only to play in front of a crowd that really doesn't like you is another.) To have almost secured the title with four of twenty-two games left is an immense achievement and one I'd be biased in ignoring, even though I have no allegiances. To win the Showcase again is impressive... actually to do the double double in any league is impressive, although I fear for the state of the competition, especially Indy. Bridget Coombe could wear one of her signature outfits on the pitch and she'd probably be no worse for it; Nightingale, who is literally a pegasus, certainly doesn't mind such flair, she's still one of the greatest of all time and she should be thankful to become captain (even Esther's thankful she's captain and she was the bookies' second-favourite). Michael Jackett should stay; Lydia Vickers should definitely stay (another dual-national! Prahecq, alas, but I'll say hello when I get the chance); Kirsti Sundgren should stay even though she was never wanted. Is there anyone who should go? Maybe Dennis Elton; he's what the locals call "getting on."

Independence 1975: Am I biased or just going in position order? I think I'll just do position order, in the league, for my sanity. The league was pretty good, especially when you consider how far behind they were; I think Lydia Sharp will take the view that this was meant to be a transitional season between losing Liam West and losing everyone else, although I can imagine that a few fans would beg to differ given the optics of just surrendering at the sight of Athletic. The IFCF was excellent: well done to them for surviving the league-route playoffs (champions-route is child's play compared to the hell you have to go through in the league-route, so I've been told by some people with a far bigger stake in it), maybe not so well done for being woefully hit-or-miss - normally miss - in the CL groups. The Showcase was shit. This was the first time in a while I didn't see Dortmun Cidh make an impact; it was more so concentrated on the midfield, and Kichiro Matsuda didn't get sent off once, which was wonderful of him and also sets him on the path to become the next Sam Newbridge if you think about it. Cathy Winchester was a good captain as always, Bailey a good keeper as always, everyone else was pretty good as always (except Grover, who was the naughty midfielder in Wunderbar's absence). I would trade places with Lydia, although I'm not sure she would - being a student at a school as demanding as mine isn't always fun.

Hiyashi Celestia: Cassadagans and refusing to leave Hiyashi Celestia absent a really good offer... name a better partnership. I'd say whoever Levis Athletic's strikers are, but you never know these days; they aren't quite up to scratch. Nor for that matter were Celestia in the IFCF, who made the conscious and probably unintentional decision to down tools after one round of play and just focus on the league instead, which didn't even work out given that they blew away their Champions League slot at the last moment. There is seriously a plausible world in which they make the Champions League, the Cup Winners Cup and this year's Challengers Cup groups instead, but it was not to be, and their only consolation is a better CC slot through which they can hopefully actually make the groups rather than just buffer up in the qualifying round before last yet again. I've read some Eleanorian reporters, but interestingly nobody from abroad, argue that Celestia is best understood as a group of affinity groups rather than a team of eleven players: the Dagans (although they look out for everyone); the Kandorese, who are singularly and together absolutely essential to the team's proper functioning; the factory hands, who are declining in importance but still good pieces for tight situations; and everyone else, who must feel a bit left out, especially that poor Zeta Rekan.

Occidental Olympic: Olympic were the first Eleanorian side to be knocked out of the IFCF on penalties this cycle, making it all the way from the third qualifying round to the group stages without facing one and then hitting into Crossroads, of all teams, who I have a soft spot for in the Red League for various reasons completely unrelated to ChromatikAir (Aeroquebec is better, don't be ridiculous) so I was naturally rooting for them rather than Olympic, if also softly. I, too, would not score my penalty in such circumstances. This wouldn't be the last time either of those contingencies hold, but luckily Olympic had no need for the lottery of penalties domestically, where they scored all three of theirs - only three? - in the league, secured the most comfortably uncomfortable fourth place you will ever see a team achieve in the Eleanorian league, hammered the Arsenal (some irony) in the Showcase and then achieved a dignified exit in the quarterfinals, the kind of exit which was all too rare at this year's Showcase. All the star names stood out for good reason although Lynul-Sevet Pul, who is not exactly a star, deserves a callout: they have been a great part of the revolution in wide play in recent years, know how to get the ball past the man as much as they themselves get past and would be competent anywhere out wide, but especially in a more defensive role where they thrive without annoying everyone (although the annoying defenders are a rare breed today).

Newbanks United: This is not sacking territory for Ian Graham; I think he will only tender his resignation and make way for a handpicked (not his hands) replacement who proves to be somewhat effective and may even drag the club to the promised land. Not so fast, though, quoth Simon Smith, the new trialist who stands blindly besides his man, reckons he'll take them there instead perhaps by means of winning the Challengers Cup and is almost the only person in and around the club who fancies it to be a good idea. If on the other hand you'd prefer me to talk about the actual players, Rachel McNamara did well for herself and is not going to be transferred to yet another club like Arielle Richardson or Adam Denby is, say; Nobuyuki Ishida did well for himself, although out of pure necessity; Carla Hawkins did well for herself, although I reckon she would make a good noir film villainess; Harriet Farnham did well for herself even though nobody talks about her, which is a shame because she is a hardy, common-sense, ball-not-the-woman kind of person; Hamnet Borysov is failing ahead of his years and should retire at the end of next year, while he's still somehow ahead.

Army and Navy: I don't think Luke McCarthy thinks his side are ready for the IFCF and certainly they acted like it - they made it past one round, which isn't that bad for a side that was nowhere near even dreaming of this a few years ago, but there was still a touch of lacklustre around good portions of the campaign and they were only four points ahead of Juventud of all teams at the halfway stage, which is seriously alarming. Maybe he needs to look more through the Army Leagues as some have suggested - that way he can find more George Mursons, who are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore; Sarah Wallaces, who know how to swing a ball just as well as how to swing their body and look and feel good while doing both of those things; James Walters, who know exactly how everything on the pitch operates and can deliver an instant diagnosis and cure within a matter of seconds. Dare I say more Denise Livingstons or is she too vanilla these days? Anyway, I'm giving this a B- redeemed only by the Showcase performance that was once again unthinkable a while ago, try again next year and maybe be consistent. Maybe the league should be a knockout cup; that would help them.

Sword and Shield: Seventh isn't tenth. Maybe last year's side would have also finished seventh had they had a couple of new players incoming and more on the way soon, although that side just had the "coming soon" part of the deal. Nacle Ohan and Rosa Strong aren't everyone's ideas of future football rockstars but they were excellent, more than a match for Martin and Gordon, and should be well on their way to international representation by World Cup 100 or so if everything goes to plan. On the more experienced side, I can tell from his interviews that Hugh Roanoke really relished his new position as captain, Michael Hall less-than-relished his position as Arielle Richardson in a pair of trousers (although Arielle is more of a trousers person than a skirt person which says a lot about what I just said), Joe Watts took his position as a generic central midfielder with gratitude and everyone else took their positions as a bit boring. Right?

Grand Beach: Everybody, including perhaps Esther Vaughan, is talking about Esther Vaughan... the record would show that she delivered and with more than enough aplomb too, although I don't think she imagined herself as the one to dig the club out of the hole they've seemingly always been in. Still, that's ten goals at the age of nineteen; let the record show what she could well do aged twenty-five, or in some other league - which I know she really wants to be in given that all of her friends are back at Arsenal. You're familiar with the rest of the players, their claims to fame, and maybe the fact that Douglas Westwood should really get a move on and be replaced by some nineteen-year-old lady with a massive blonde ponytail, a bit of leg, a bit of sass and more than a helping of wowzers. Actually, Rachel Coulter fits that description, but she wouldn't be the first Rachel to get undeserved hype. Worth the time? Yes. Worth the money? I didn't spend anything on them or any other Eleanorian football activity, but I suppose it would have been had I done.

Good Hope Club: Regardless of how bad they may seem, the Good Hope Club are always and invariably unremarkable, and the fact they seemed to hover around seventh to ninth all season seems to betray it; a similar performance wouldn't relegate you in a larger, more normal league, far from it, and there would be people talking about how good your key players are and how unjust it is that they don't seem to get invited to their national teams (Yusuf Sofyan can still be trusted with your pet HGV, Lottie Bryant with your pet tortoise... wait a minute... Amanda Cleveland with your pet I don't know what, she's not a pet person, far more likely to be a patron to the performing arts by which I do not mean diving although I once read a newspaper report about her diving off a cliff somewhere else with nothing more than a bikini on and my younger-teenaged self thought that was cool, Tina Falconer with your pet budgerigar because of course). They normally are, anyway. It is hardly every day that you draw your rivals in the cup, take them to extra time, somehow get an entertaining game out of it all rather than a bloody(,) offensive one, and then win on penalties of all things; nor that you summarily get dumped out by the almighty Athletic, as they seem to be these days.

Golden Unicorn: If you are reading this, you know exactly how bad the Golden Unicorn were. Everything Jamie Rodgers said before the season began was completely justified - and I know it's astonishing to see me point you towards such an esteemed figure rather than offering my own opinions but that is just how the world works, sorry. Hopefully they make the top eight in 2008... ooooooh, verve and poetry. Something you don't get from these lot an awful lot these days.

Nova Aegis: Frank James survived, which is an achievement. He survived to take over for a fourth season, which must rank as one of the most monumental achievements in club history. I imagine all of this is fuelled by a need to escape second-bottom for the better, which they came pretty close to doing and in my opinion were in a position to do for most of the season. Alessio Lombardo should move, although this would almost certainly jeopardise the aforementioned mission and maybe lead to them exiting at the Showcase's quarterfinals instead of their semis next year (playing two youth teams helps! when will a youth team make the final?), although with such players as August Wills the (erm) august, David Lenham the effective, and Rick Street the damn annoying, they should be in good stead to at least finish three or four points off the pace rather than literally right above Juventud.

Juventud: Bad. Normally Juventud are terrible, but this year they did just enough for me to classify them as bad. They made it out of the Showcase first round, which not even Indy did; fluked a win over Sword and Shield, who are always a good team to fluke a win against, but which I'm reliably informed don't yet have the services of utterly impervious heroine and former seventeen-year-old Olympia Woodward (but aren't all adults?); somehow contrived only to suffer two absolutely huge defeats all season; and somehow got four points from their first four games, which I suppose would be a good standard to decide how a newly-promoted team or the new manager of some team facing relegation is doing. Ian Black was good, if dodgy; Paul Woodley was good, if inexperienced and a bit sloppy; Bill Wood was good, full stop (eight goals isn't a bad place to be at this club); Paul Dennis gets a stay of execution on the grounds that the club's probably giving him one anyway. All others be damned.

The youth sides: University Colllege (Sword and Shield) ought to have won a tie on principle, but that tie was against Tanrisal, so the result was elementary. Whitehammer CS (Athletic) were rather better, squeaking past a tricky group, defeating two okay sides on penalties and Raynor City United outright, and then losing to "La + Querida" - which I'm reliably informed is a new, corporate-supported club and absolutely NOT my mum's La Querida, after an 8-7 penalty shootout which is honestly quite wild (as my classmates would say). If I had to take the penalty to decide whether the Lycee-de-Levis youth team (or Levis Athletic's? It's hard to say but either would definitely be one of the greatest fever dreams I'd ever live through) made the final of the Rising Stars Cup and I was that low down the priority order as to either not be that good at taking penalties or almost collapse from the nerves, I would definitely not be scoring it. Either I'd thud it against the crossbar or fire it so high up that it lands on the other side of Kanmer, or wherever the grand little-finals weekend is taking place. And of course it had to be the Girls' Prep, of all teams. Fun fact, I'd be going there if I was living in Saint Eleanor. I'm living here, though, and boarding isn't the Eleanorian way, so fancy public school with the not-so-fancy bus, fairweather friends and immense academic demands it is.

Levis Athletic: Almost doomed to a year in the state league. Sigh...

by **Saint Eleanor** » Tue Jul 23, 2024 7:38 pm

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The ~~Charles Trump Shield~~ Charity Cup of 2008

Introduction to the Charity Cup
The Charity Cup is not the Charles Trump Shield. ICly, the Shield has been cancelled due to a protest by non-club-affiliated teams against the new, much more thickety format (other than the cheerleaders, who sucked it up; the Army kids, who were always going to suck it up anyway; the private school boys and girls, who don't want their money going to waste; and Premier, who will Premier). OOCly, I somehow contrived to enter 44 teams into the first round of the Shield, couldn't scramble together the other two teams I needed and decided that making the senior team deadline was more important.

No Golden Backpack will be awarded this year, as this is the Charity Cup and not the Charles Trump Shield. However, the top four teams will still be entered into the Showcase; the winner will still be entered into the Rising Stars Cup; and all the rules are the same, so everyone here was born in 1991. Hilarity may or may not ensue. All games were played on neutral ground in Parkside district over the space of a few weeks in the summer holidays, which I'm sure must have been very tiring for everyone complicit.

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of Juventud is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns Juventud; it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council. Yet it does have close links with the Polytechnic, and the Poly's Sports Science department has the final say over who plays for Buckhead - usually based on recommendations from BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The best players from the Community School's team each year are offered try-outs with United, albeit on an ad-hoc basis with the Misiriyaa Football Group acquisition. The trials have varying levels of success, but - for some reason - somebody is always offered a contract through these means every year.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

The presumption is that, for each of the aforementioned schools, their linked Saint Eleanor League club has first reservation on their most promising footballers. Many choose to go to Juventud, or at least try to break into their squad list of eighteen, but not in the droves of years past.

The Charity Cup of 2008          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Eleanorian Academy             17    9   4   4    29   20   +9    31     Rising Stars Cup 20 (YC)
 2 Whitehammer CS                 17    8   6   3    33   25   +8    30
 3 Saint Benedict's Catholic      17    9   3   5    31   24   +7    30
 4 Broadlands CS                  17    8   6   3    23   17   +6    30
 5 Girls' Preparatory             17    7   5   5    32   29   +3    26
 6 Army School                    17    7   5   5    27   24   +3    26
 7 Boys' Preparatory              17    8   1   8    22   20   +2    25
 8 Newbanks CS                    17    7   3   7    29   32   −3    24
 9 Liberty                        17    6   5   6    26   26    0    23
10 Premier CS                     17    5   6   6    22   21   +1    21
11 Grand Beach CS                 17    5   6   6    21   20   +1    21
12 Marketplace CS                 17    6   3   8    18   31  −13    21
13 University College             17    5   5   7    31   30   +1    20
14 Parkside CS                    17    5   5   7    28   28    0    20
15 Trident CS                     17    5   5   7    26   28   −2    20
16 Buckhead CS                    17    4   6   7    20   25   −5    18
17 Brightway CS                   17    5   3   9    16   26  −10    18
18 Bramblewood CS                 17    3   5   9    17   25   −8    14

Saint Eleanor will enter the Eleanorian Academy, the winners of the 2008 Charity Cup, into Rising Stars Cup 20. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: {names and positions TBD}. They are joined by their manager, Michael Black [he/him].

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Independence 1975 won the Saint Eleanor League of 2008, with Athletic Saint Eleanor in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 20 - the Eleanorian Academy (crest above) and Whitehammer CS (crest left) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 19. Sarah Newbury [she/her] is happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about the Whitehammer teamsheet should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Tue Jul 23, 2024 11:24 pm

Important OOC notes: Mara Hillsworth attended CA Paulinthal 3-0 Athletic Saint Eleanor and CF Outineau 1-0 Chromatik by the grace of ESF (or she will do, anyway, - it's been agreed but I haven't written that section yet nor will I for a few days). The Matong arrangements were also discussed with Banija (and they are actually written down in a very obvious place).

The Saint Eleanor League of 2008

Incorporating post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2008 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Independence 1975: 3 (2002, 2003, 2004)
Hiyashi Celestia: 3 (1999, 2000, 2005)
Athletic Saint Eleanor: 2 (2006, 2007)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

Also incorporating a blink-and-you-miss-it review of 2008's IFCF proceedings, the 19th of their kind

Preview of the League sides (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {all eligible NT flags, if non-EXT; see below} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2006 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 19th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2008, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
Underlined single nationals play for the national team they are eligible for as of the start of 2008. Underlined dual nationals play for the national team whose flag appears first before their name as of that date.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2008's list of dates here. Please refer to the spoiler there.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-1-3-2): 1. Kirsti Sundgren [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 28yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 4. Bridget Coombe [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CDM; 33yo; she/her]; 5. + Lydia VIckers [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 27yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 8. Michael Jackett [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [CAPTAIN] [ST; pegasus; 35yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Stuart Norton [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 13. Ben McDougall [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Dennis Elton [CM; 35yo; he/him]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 23yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 17. James Johnson [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Charles Brewer [CM; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [46yo; they/them]: Another Champions' League group stage and a first ever, if unsuccessful, IFCF final was the least Athletic deserved last season; the domestic double was just an extra reward. Yelto-Aflan almost has a job for life if they want it, but so it seems do many of the players. It doesn't feel like Bridget Coombe has spent four seasons and two World Cup cycles back home and she might want, or need, to be moved on eventually for younger blood, although she can still do her job. Nightingale, at 35, is somewhat less excusable as she ages twice as slowly as almost anyone else, and is clearly prepared to steer Athletic through the coming years of presumptive success anyway. Esther Launceston, only 27, is tipped for the captaincy when Nightingale stands down; like her Equestrian colleague, does actually like it at the club, and she might just be its best player for once. Naresmet taFrexala is somehow the best rightback in the league at 32. For the first time in a while, this is a team of good players held up by decent players: Driver and Sareleva are good, Jackett is still obscure despite his tenure, Sundgren was always an emergency goalkeeper. They might need to be held up by good players if they want sustained success, and that does not feel forthcoming.

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. Robby Ellis [GK; 24yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; 30yo; she/her]; 3. Donald Hutchings [RB; 37yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 28yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 24yo; she/her]; 6. Matt Morrison [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 34yo; he/him]; 8. + Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 24yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 31yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 24yo; he/him]; 11. Gary Morgan [RM; 25yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Lisa Dobson [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 14. Joe Willis [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 28yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 17. Ian Marks [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 18. Angela Spooner [RM; 20yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [53yo; she/her]: For all that was made about potentially sweeping reform last season - including by myself - Sharp has decided, like many other managers, to largely keep her team as it is. Robby Ellis, the new goalkeeper, is the big arrival; he is somewhat conventional, but by no means is that a swear word in Eleanorian football. Hutchings is expected to retire after this season and will often give his understudy Joe Willis, fifteen years his junior, a fair chance - meaning that Winchester, indeed the captain, is now the most noteworthy defender in the team. Newcastle, Felaraneta, Matsuda and Çídh should all be expected to be big hitters up front, but not at the cost of a solid defence; we have been more than used to this pattern over the years, and perhaps it is for the best.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 27yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Pringle [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 26yo; he/him]; 7. Lily Emmerson [LM; 22yo; she/her]; 8. Brian Hurd [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 26yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CAM; 31yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 33yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 25yo; he/him]; 14. Shaun Trellis [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 23yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 26yo; she/her]; 17. Ella Pinkman [RM; 19yo; she/her]; 18. Wendy Smith [ST; 22yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [49yo; he/him]: The only change Dunbar has made on last year's squad is to oversee the retirement of long-time captain Samuel Short. Pilchard, ever the club legend, takes over the job and should serve for the next decade or so while Lily Emmerson should add an attacking boost to the wings (and a quite literal one at that), much needed after decades of centre-focused play. Lynul-Sevet and Curran have proven to be excellent fullbacks, if not quite outstanding. French is a strong defensive midfielder, both physically and mentally, and it is almost a surprise he has not been capped yet. And the more that is said about the attacking three, the better, arguably even long after their heyday.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 29yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 34yo; she/her]; 3. Sarah Parton [CB; 28yo; she/her]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Caradoc Anghoill [RB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 32yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 32yo; he/him]; 8. Maria Morgan [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 11. James Heath [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Josh Baines [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Nigel Vincent [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Alex Lander [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 15. Edward Ruthan [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 32yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [45yo; she/her]: This year's Celestia, as one would expect, very closely approximates last year's - and not only because of Saint Eleanor's complete and utter lack of transfer dealings. Ito only conceded 23 goals last season, a relatively grand achievement; he should be expected to hold up similarly this year given the general quality (and particularly battle-tested experience) of the defenders in front of him, although Charles Trump Shield winner Josh Baines is waiting in the wings if necessary. Kuronuma and Morgan remain the key midfielders, as they have been for what feels like ages, although they are more on the defensive side at this point; meanwhile, the wing pair and strikers are more in sync with each other than ever, even though Heath is new and the improvement otherwise feels only fractional. It would be insulting to say that Schanke has found the team's verve given she's had a decade to do so, but she might well have sparked into life just enough.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 25yo; she/her]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 35yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 30yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; Corporal; 27yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 27yo; he/him]; 8. James Walter [CM; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 9. Isabella Bright [ST; Private; 19yo; she/her]; 10. George Murson [ST; Lance-Corporal; 22yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 26yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Nathan Smith [GK; Private; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Kevin Bryson [LB; Private; 24yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Silver [CM; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; she/her]; 16. Johanna Spencer [ST; Private; 20yo; she/her]; 17. Natalie Evans [RM; Private; 21yo; she/her]; 18. William Thame [RM; Lance-Corporal; 29yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Luke McCarthy [49yo; Colonel; he/him]: Luke McCarthy is no miracle worker - not yet, anyway - but few will doubt his acumen after he got CTS nearly-woman Isabella Bright to enlist for at least a few years (although he is one of them, having insisted she always wanted to serve). There are no glaring issues with this class of players - Eldridge is getting on somewhat but not enough to cause issues for his own defence; the midfielders are still all well below thirty, know exactly what to do and how to do it; the strike team is good and backed up by Johanna Spencer, who actually isn't that bad. Methodical and sensible does not win much in this league these days, but it is a welcome return to the days of old and it now marks the Army out as a good team that should compete for the IFCF yet again.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 31yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 30yo; she/her]; 3. + Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 38yo; he/him]; 4. + Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 7. + Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 28yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 29yo; she/her]; 10. + Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 28yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 33yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 24yo; he/him]; 13. Michael Dean [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 14. Catherine Morrison [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 23yo; he/him]; 17. Palerenala vaEplanera [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Simon Smith [ST; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [60yo; he/him]: Once chided, Graham has been given what many believe is one final stay of execution after dragging Newbanks back into the Challengers' Cup; this isn't exactly the long-term expectation, though, so he shouldn't expect another season at MFG's mercy. It is telling that he has not tried to explain away his failure to bring any trialists on board this year, although with Katou's retirement likely this year and Borysov literally rushing towards the twilight of his meaningful career, new blood should be sought at the back. As it was last year, the lead strikers and the central midfielders are the only serious standouts, and the only players liable to make much of a long-term impact beyond this year. Another good-enough, attacking season should be expected, but not much beyond that at current rates.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 30yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Keith Barnett [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 26yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 37yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 34yo; she/her]; 9. Alexandra Barrett [RM; 24yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 26yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Darren Barker [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 13. George Anderson [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 26yo; he/him]; 15. Rachel McEwan [RM; 19yo; she/her]; 16. Owen Blackwater [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Terry Smith [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 18. Oliver Samuels [ST; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [47yo; she/her]: Last year's "bench fodder" is this year's new entry, as Keith Barnett hopes to build a reputation at rightback. But that he would be far from the standout player is no surprise: Downing is still the goalkeeper, and a potent one at that, whille the same could be said for Sofyan the old-school defender, Brown the experienced but calm distributor, Bryant the still-somewhat-famed destroyer, Cleveland the "ginger on a mission" - her words, not mine - or almost any of the other starters. It is close to an inexplicable law of gravity that they still haven't managed to rise above midtable, never mind back into the IFCF - or perhaps it's a sign that this team would do well for itself in just about any other league imaginable.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 28yo; she/her]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 30yo; she/her]; 3. James Benson [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 4. Gary Milton [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 34yo; he/him]; 6. Owen Cartwright [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 32yo; she/her]; 8. Rachel Coulter [CM; 21yo; she/her]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 30yo; she/her]; 10. Esther Vaughan [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 32yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Gavin Parson [GK; 36yo; he/him]; 13. Richard Booth [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Callum McArthur [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Herbert [LB; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Jack Brewer [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Michelle Tallard [ST; 25yo; she/her]; 18. Adam Charles [CM; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Nathaniel Jenkins [53yo; he/him]: Neither results nor morale have improved for most people at the club; Esther Vaughan, the Wondergirl, and her ten first-season goals proved reason enough to believe, although not for long if the situation carries on like this. Beyond that, this looks to be a solid-enough squad; Newbridge, the captain, is still the defensive pivot in his mid-thirties and not for nothing, not least because of his ability to rile up the opposition when it is necessary. Benson is in for McArthur, although a bit earlier for expected, which should keep the metaphorical tone of the defence down; there's no real change expected at the front this year, although Coulter's introduction should free up the attack a bit more. Whether it will be too much even for Jenkins' liking is to be seen; this club has not really gotten into a serious rhythm in recent times.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 36yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 3. Keith Bartlett [RB; 24yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 26yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 32yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 36yo; he/him]; 7. Peter Walker [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 32yo; she/her]; 9. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 27yo; she/her]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 27yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 27yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Katie Masterson [GK; 22yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Burns [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 24yo; she/her]; 15. Alisha Peters [RB; 21yo; she/her]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 24yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 33yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 24yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Justin Wood [50yo; he/him]: Wood, who played out on the wing when Golden Unicorn won their only league title two decades ago, is hoping that his term as his boyhood team's caretaker boss won't prove to be wooden; if he can get the side anywhere near eighth place, never mind fifth, you would think he deserves multiple pats on the back. His boldest decision - so far - has been to give Pazorzal the retirement he deserves, drafting in the long-benched Jaclyn Foley instead. Mariani and Monaco are dependable mainstays, although some - myself included - would question their need to stay at the club; while there are glimmers of hope that the defence is tightening up a bit after some issues in earlier years, given that the new pack of four is more coherent than ever before.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Michael Hall [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 29yo; she/her]; 4. John Alexander [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 32yo; he/him]; 6. Joe Watts [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 9. Olympia Woodward [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Rosa Strong [CAM; 20yo; she/her]; 11. Naclé Öhân [RM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Àlfôn Qâerês [LM; 21yo; he/him]; 13. Ed Jackson [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Rebecca Daniels [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 28yo; she/her]; 16. Pakelana Vezara [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 25yo; he/him]; 18. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [47yo; she/her]: Constant evolution is Steele's watchword, although she has had the privilege of onboarding three generations of Charles Trump Shield winners in her eight years. Olympia Woodward, a striker even more celebrated than Vaughan is (and the most recent Golden Backpack winner to graduate), is an obvious starter, but the only other addition to this team - centreback Rebecca Daniels - seems unlikely to make her move any time soon and plenty of this generation has seeped into other lineups. This team is tentatively filled with quality all over the pitch, but only because plenty of them are waiting on the bench; Roanoke and Terrence are the best of the old-timers for obvious reasons, narrowly followed by Kilkenny, but in no way is it clear why most of these players are starting ahead of the glorious young guns. It is likely nevertheless that Steele will hold onto her job.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 23yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 26yo; she/her]; 3. Grace Bryant [RB; 37yo; she/her]; 4. Rick Street [CAPTAIN] [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 33yo; she/her]; 7. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 26yo; he/him]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 9. Paul Ronson [RM; 21yo; he/him]; 10. Deborah Dennis [ST; 22yo; she/her]; 11. David Lenham [ST; 31yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Will Johnson [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 13. Simon Donald [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Louise Morgan [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Tommy Grant [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 16. Keith Albert [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Nick Ellison [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Patrick Trout [RM; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Frank James [49yo; he/him]: In what has proven to be something of a minor miracle, James becomes Nova Aegis' first-ever four-season manager, and he still knows who he trusts. The obscure Matt Wrekin is in on the wing and there are a couple of fresh substitutes, but this squad would generally not look unrecognisable to anyone who's been following his time in the hotseat. Lombardo has proven to be much too good for the club, but the likes of solid goalkeeper August Wills, honest captain Rick Street, and - at this point - almost the entire attacking network are slightly above par, given the quality and expectations of the club.

Juventud - "The Young" - the club of the Polytechnic Institute

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Ian Black [CAPTAIN] [GK; 21yo; he/him]; 2. Katie Richards [LB; 21yo; she/her]; 3. Paul Woodley [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 4. Laura Keats [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 5. Jennifer Wright [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 6. John Houseman [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 7. James Edwardson [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 8. Sophie Barker [CM; 20yo; she/her]; 9. Adam Anderson [ST; 22yo; he/him]; 10. Bill Wood [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Mark Ford [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Sarah Walter [GK; 21yo; she/her]; 13. Bobby Owen [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Gary Norton [CM; 22yo; he/him]; 15. Rebecca Porter [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Sarah Carpenter [RM; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Frank Joseph [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Alexia Miller [ST; 20yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Paul Dennis [66yo; he/him]: Dennis was a long-time Polytechnic professor and the only manager Juventud has ever known. He still is, but he'll be retiring from teaching in a couple of years and has been told he'll no longer need his managing job come next year owing to what he's only been told has been a "change in plan." It is striking to note that not a single one of the players has been changed from last year; some of them are now amateurs because they have full-time weekday jobs. Nobody here, other han Black, Wood, maybe Woodley and possibly Wright, really has the mettle and, for what feels like the first time ever, literally nobody has any expectations of them.

List of SEL winners

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 12
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007)

Independence 1975: 11
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2004)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *
JUDGMENT DAY

RESULTS OF THE 2008 LEAGUE

▼▼ The Saint Eleanor League of 2008     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
►►  1 Independence 1975                  22   13   6   3    35   15  +20    45    Champions' League 20
►►  2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   13   5   4    45   26  +19    44    Champions' League 20;  Cygnus Cup 68
►►  3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   12   5   5    40   23  +17    41    Challengers' Cup 20
►►  4 Newbanks United                    22   10   7   5    32   22  +10    37    Challengers' Cup 20
►►  5 Sword and Shield                   22   10   5   7    41   38   +3    35    Challengers' Cup 20
►►  6 Golden Unicorn                     22    9   7   6    41   36   +5    34
►►  7 Occidental Olympic                 22    9   5   8    38   39   −1    32
►►  8 Army and Navy                      22    9   4   9    32   28   +4    31
►►  9 Grand Beach                        22    5   6  11    30   40  −10    21
►► 10 Good Hope Club                     22    3   8  11    23   38  −15    17
►► 11 Nova Aegis                         22    3   7  12    21   39  −18    16
►► 12 Juventud                           22    0   7  15    17   51  −34     7

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

ATHLETIC SAINT ELEANOR - WINNERS OF THE 2008 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 68

1. Kirsti Sundgren [Norrhem; she/her]
2. Elissa Curry [she/her]
3. Naresmet taFrexala [he/him]
4. Bridget Coombe [she/her]
5. Lydia Vickers [Saint Eleanor/Prahecq; she/her]
6. Esther Launceston [she/her]
7. Graham Lawson [he/him]
8. Michael Jackett [he/him]
9. Nightingale [Equestria; pegasus; she/her]
10. Tim Driver [he/him]
11. Wasemprela Sareleva [he/him]
12. Stuart Norton [he/him]
13. Ben McDougall [he/him]
14. Dennis Elton [he/him]
15. Charlotte Phillips [she/her]
16. Phil Parris [he/him]
17. James Johnson [he/him]
18. Charles Brewer [he/him]

Manager: Yelto-Aflan Ono [Qusmo; they/them]

RESULTS OF THE 2008 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Broadlands CS (Celestia youth team) 2–2 Occidental Olympic (2–3 AET)
Grand Beach 0–2 Sword and Shield
Independence 1975 3–2 Juventud
Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team) 3–4 Newbanks United
Hiyashi Celestia 0–1 Army and Navy
Athletic Saint Eleanor 6–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic (independent CTS team)
Good Hope Club 3–0 Nova Aegis
Golden Unicorn 4–1 Whitehammer CS (Athletic youth team)

Quarterfinals
Army and Navy 1–0 Golden Unicorn
Independence 1975 1–2 Occidental Olympic
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Good Hope Club
Sword and Shield 0–1 Newbanks United

Semifinals
Army and Navy 2–0 Newbanks United
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–0 Occidental Olympic (0–0 AET) (5–3 pen.)

THE FINAL
Athletic Saint Eleanor 1–0 Army and Navy

* * * * * * * * * *

What - a teenaged Eleanorian's been watching too much football? And you're telling me it's NOT Isabelle Klein-Swann? Fuck's sake, then.

The Journal
Taking Pride in our Community

Golden Backpack winner Mara Hillsworth tours the grounds of Saint Eleanor... and the world

Mara Hillsworth, winner of last year's Golden Backpack - and, in light of recent developments, the first person ever to hold it for two consecutive years - is, when she's not studying for her School Certificate, a somewhat avid Athletic Saint Eleanor supporter; and not to mention one who, at this time, does not have a season ticket. Going around the grounds simply by ordering tickets from the general sale is very much a white-knuckle mode of surfing the grounds, but Hillsworth toured them all this year and managed to add a couple of overseas visits on top of that. Here, we get her review of all twelve-plus Saint Eleanor League grounds, which she doesn't warrant is completely unbiased...

Northwest Road: 9/10, and you'll work out quickly why I think I've been to better places. The first home game of the season was against Sword and Shield and I was there; I was at various of our other home games, but I think it would be best for simplicity's sake if I just discussed the first game. It was dreadfully cold, as it normally is around this time; there were thousands upon thousands of fans from each side, although not enough to fill the place. I'd been here a few times before, but only with my family. Still, everything about the place was refreshingly familiar; every last detail from the food to the atmosphere, even right down to the seat. We even had a good enough game to win 4-3, which was nice. Tickets were $9.50 the first time around - this is my third home and I feel like the nicer seats are worth that bit extra - but it varied from place to place, as you'll also work out quickly, and all of our Showcase games before the final were here (on which my opinions varied from "this was completely expected" to "I almost exactly predicted this;" unfortunately, Indy's fans had it better in that tournament).

The Parkside Stadium: 6.5/10. Parkside, in and of itself, is nice. Galton Park is reputedly nice, although as I've never played there I couldn't tell you. The stadium, like many stadiums, looks fairly, perhaps woefully, generic. It does also feel like home, mostly because the Olympic faithful are not annoying, not shouty and know when to fight the good fight. My parents know their fair share of Athletic supporters who always behave as if they're off-duty, and they live in Newbanks. $5.

The Good Hope: 5/10. Please refer to my review on Albion Road for why I think this is a generic, copycat stadium. $3.50.

Dignity Cross: 8.5/10. This would normally be a nice, round three-quarters, owing to the fact that the stadium looks nice enough, is located conveniently enough, and does actually have better food than Athletic - sleek but aesthetic bowls, or indeed anything other than your average four-stander, are rare around here. I will happily add an extra point on the grounds that Dignity Cross, the street, itself is the most important shopping centre in the nation, and one of my absolute favourite non-football places on top of that. $7, not including baggage.

The Celestial Stadium: 7/10. The stadium itself is a generic crapshoot, "to use polite language," of the kind you'd find in most nations with slightly more civilisation than Saint Eleanor. I can, however, speak to the fact that the handrails weren't liable to give you blood poisoning, which some of them elsewhere do. I was impressed by everything around it, including the factory and the extraordinary amounts of space surrounding everything, which is both cheating and a bit of an advertisement for Hitachi... but I think I can let this one slide, given the generally unimaginative nature of more Eleanorian stadiums. $6.

The Workers' Coliseum: 8/10. I'm not a socialist of any kind, but I do think that the architecture of this place is astonishingly good; you do not get enough open-wheelers here or in any other place. When Nova Aegis' fans turn up, and they always do, it can get loud verging on almost literally riotous. I suppose I should be thankful they were only loud today: they didn't seem to annoy anyone associated with Athletic, not least because we did win. $3.75, for no obvious reason.

Albion Road: 5/10. Please refer to my review on the Good Hope for why I think this is a generic, copycat stadium. $2.75.

The University Grounds: 5.5/10. The extra half a point is because of how the Ray Sunnyvale Stand just gawks over everything else, the unfortunate away fans included. I'm aware it's an architectural accident of history, but then pretty much every accident in Eleanorian history has either been reasonably fun or extremely unfun, and this falls firmly in the first category. $1.50, which was the cheapest ticket by far - this is the University, after all - and actually one of the more trustworthy seats, given how much support the University continued to supply the club.

The Poly Sports: 2.5/10. I would give the stadium a lower rating, possibly even much lower, if it wasn't literally the Polytechnic's Sports Centre. It had all the comfort and atmospherics of a Sunday league pitch, or a good Charles Trump Shield stadium, both of which I've circulated around in before. The fact it's being used in a competition like this would be almost astounding in normal circumstances. $2, although I'm surprised they were going for that little.

The Eastern Fields: 4/10. Without a doubt one of the more mediocre stadiums in all of Eleanorian football, regardless of what's actually happening on the pitch. (It might even make you focus... although given that we lost that game 2-1, I'm not exactly that sure.) It has very, very little going for it apart from being a rather literal eastern field. The stands are even corrugated in the most horrendously generic fashion possible. I should know; I normally live here. $4.

The New Barracks: 7.5/10. This is not a generic four-stand boxer because everything is pushed up almost ridiculously close and it makes everyone, including the Army players, feel at least somewhat uncomfortable. The Army does actually follow rules; this is, reputedly and from the few conversations I've had elsewhere, one of the few places they get to shout, and sometimes complain, without anybody saying much about anything. Still, we've all been through their bad times, so this isn't a guarantee of anything, except the obvious 1-0 win in our case. $5, with "all revenues going to support our soldiers, sailors and marines on the frontline."

The Nat Lib: 6/10. It's too boring and yet too iconic. However, much of this rating is because of when I visited. As you have most likely worked out by now, I tried to visit as many of the Saint Eleanor League's stadiums as I could (and then a bit more). By the time I had come here, to what I've been told is the most important stadium in the country, and in actual fact is exactly that, we had played all the away games we could except the one in which we were playing the second-placed team, five points behind us, with two games to go. We went behind fairly quickly but then equalised on the half-hour, and everything after that was very much a blur which, unlike at the Eastern Fields, I could reasonably distract myself from given how nice this place is. With ten or fifteen minutes to go, nothing much had really happened. Naturally - although not very naturally if you've only been supporting Athletic for as long as I had - we completely threw it away. $4.50, which I think is a bit surprising given how popular they are - or possibly not.

----

OOC note - approval in principle has been obtained from ESF to write about Hillsworth's time abroad. As she's not had the chance to look at what I've scribed down and I'd rather not make her baffled-at-best, please accept this OOC placeholder while I await her concrete thumbs-up. I hope to add this information by the time the weekend rolls around.

SESB television to escape October's $900 satellite paywall

How much will it all cost?

Channels $/mo
Free-to-air
TV1/2/3/6
(SESB)
Channel 4
Channel 5 $11/mo
of which $6 to SESB
+ $1.5 to C4
+ $1.5 to C5
+ $2 to fund Telecoms
Radio included
ETV Prime
general entertainment +$8/mo
ETV Drama
drama and series +$10/mo
ETV Reality
history and documentaries +$8/mo
ETV Cinema 1-3
films +$14/mo
Matong 1-8
sporting events +$24/mo
SUM TOTAL $75/mo
($900/yr)

Eleanorian Telecommunications has announced that satellite broadcasting will roll out across Saint Eleanor over the course of next year - but while television will require a small annual fee for the first time, all three major broadcasters will otherwise be available free of charge, following discussions with the Government's television and internet monopoly.

The Telecoms have said that broadcasting via ETV, shorthand for Eleanorian Telecommunications Vision, will start within weeks - or in mid-January 2009 - with set-top boxes and plans available to order now from local branches or the Telecoms website. While the nation's 200,000 analogue television sets will be transitioned to ETV over the next nine months, with "V-Day" set for Friday 23rd October, the Telecoms said in a statement that analogue broadcasting would continue until after the 96th World Cup in summer 2010 to allow time for final transitions and take account of their infamous shortage of engineers.

The free-to-air channels - TV1 (showing general programming), TV2 (showing documentary and factual programming) and TV3 (showing comedy, arts, and other alternative programming) from the public broadcaster SESB, mainstream commercial broadcaster Channel 4, and socialist-owned Channel 5 - will be available for a base $11 monthly fee alongside a new TV6 broadcasting overspill content such as films, archive content, the Elsfest music festival and some sports matches of interest, with $2 from each payment going to support the Telecoms and the remaining money distributed between the channels.

It is estimated that - if takeup numbers are as high as anticipated - the commercial broadcasters could make around $3.5m each from the charge, with the Telecoms making $7m and SESB making $14m from the "solidarity fee." The arrangement was agreed in the last few weeks, according to our sources, following concerns about paywalling the national broadcaster even further and potentially locking the commercial channels away from sympathetic viewers.

The Telecoms, by contrast, have said that their new subscription offerings on ETV will "endeavour to remain unbiased and objective." The initial offering of ETV-branded channels will include mainstream channel ETV Prime, as well as ETV Drama, documentary channel ETV Reality, and three ETV Cinema screens. Subscribing to all the available channels will cost $75 per month or $900 per year, roughly 2% of the average income. While there will reportedly be "a good deal" of foreign programming, Channel 4 personality Edward Morgan has moved to present "Ed at Ten" every Friday and Saturday night, although he will likely not be outshined for long.

Most eyecatchingly, sports will be covered on eight channels bearing the Matong brand, Banija's foremost name in pay TV. The Matong channels will cost $24/month ($288/year) at launch, about twice as much as the cost of tickets to all 22 of an average team's League games, but cheaper when taking into account the possibility of IFCF ties and indisputably much cheaper than the price of a visit to Banija itself. The Telecoms have said that as many IFCF games as possible will be presented live on the channels, but that matches involving Eleanorian teams - as required by Presidential Decree - or defending tournament champions will be on one of the six free channels.

As part of this agreement, games in the Shango-Fogoa Premier League, the joint top flight of Banija and Farfadillis, will be exclusively live on Matong, alongside "most" College Football games and all matches in the International Basketball Championships and World Baseball Classic. Telecoms CEO Kevin Graham said that - despite Banija's Matong holding exclusive World Cup qualifying and partial finals rights - all games involving Saint Eleanor and all finals games would remain on SESB in Saint Eleanor.

Mara Hillsworth, who won the Golden Backpack last year and chronicled visits to every stadium in the League as part of a series for her local newspaper The Journal, told our journalists that the fee was "a bit extortionate, but understandably." She also told The Reporter that the introduction of Matong would "unlock more sports than anyone, including myself, thought possible," but added she would be wary of the new broadcaster stretching its resources too thin. In a statement, the University of Saint Eleanor - where Hillsworth will be studying geography from next year - pointed out that ETV set-ups "will be installed and fully paid for in our buildings over the coming weeks."

While the solidarity fee has attracted relatively little controversy, there appears to be some tension over the fees being charged for ETV's own channels. A North Seville man who asked to remain anonymous said that the prices were "almost silly" and that most people would either not watch, or find little value in, ETV's exclusive programming. The Telecoms told us that the new subscription fees were there to "ensure that we can make and supply world-class programming" - a lofty boast for a previously services-first provider up against the might of the Terrestrial Three. Whether people will be as impressed as they expect is yet to be seen.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 18, 2024 12:36 am

OOC: The first part of this title is as inaccurate as it was last IFCF.

Mid-season interlude: The Charles Trump Shield of 2009

Introduction to the Charles Trump Shield
This competition was first run in 1979, but has only counted towards the Cup Winners' Cup and in part the IFCF Rising Stars Cup - hereinafter "big cups" - since 1998 (in time for the tenth IFCF cycle). It is named in honour of Colonel Charles Trump. In the autumn of 1974, during the War of Independence, Trump successfully defended the Eleanorian Academy from ground attack by Tinhamptonian forces. Although parts of the academy were destroyed in the air and Trump himself had his leg amputated, he was honourably discharged from the Army by order of President George Mitcham two days after Saint Eleanor won its independence, and successfully lobbied the government in its first years to head off freezes in the schools budget.

The Shield is contested between all 53 schools in Saint Eleanor - including the three private schools (the Girls' Preparatory, the Boys' Preparatory, and Saint Benedict's Catholic) and the six out-of-city schools (the Community Schools in Bishopgate, Crownedhead, Elsmouth, Farbend, Mount Dennis and Springfield) - along with Liberty, a team made up exclusively of the children of Eleanorian Army soldiers from various schools.

SEFA announced, in March 2009, an "informal amnesty" with the Eleanorian Sports and Cheer Coaching Alliance, who represent - among others - the 54 school team managers. This year, all teams except the teams that finished 2nd through 8th in last year's Charity Cup will enter the first round, with the first round winners and the seven Charity Cup teams entering the second round. The Eleanorian Academy, as reigning champions, will enter the third round, also known as the round of sixteen. Similar arrangements, except involving the CTS quarterfinalists, will be made from 2010 onwards (as they were in 2007 and should have been in 2008); furthermore, the draws for the first two rounds will be made in March of each year,

All games except the final (at the Nat Lib) are played over two legs, with extra time and then penalties being played in the event of both games having the same result. Away goals count double, so not all aggregate ties will result in extra time. OOCly, the Græntfjaller method of ET and PSO scorination is used - although I add the goals scored in extra time and make those count towards away goals - and home advantage applies.

In each year, Liberty and schools must only send players in Year 13, i.e. those who will turn seventeen in that year. Every player in the 2009 Charles Trump Shield was therefore born in 1992. If they win that year's Shield, they will be entered into the following year's big cups (in the unlikely event they win the Showcase too) and may enter the victorious team, who will by now be in Year 14, i.e. eighteen years old. If their Year 14s win either big cup in any year, they shall enter the team that represented them in that year's Shield (who will be Year 14s the following year) into the following year's CWC/RSC - while the now-nineteen-year-old cup winners go to a well-deserved rest, probably in the Saint Eleanor League!

Some schools serve as the youth teams for clubs in the Saint Eleanor League
IFCF Regulation 7.02 provides that the youth teams of "clubs reaching the group phase of the Champions['] League are automatically entered" into the RSC (and acknowledges the possibility that a youth champion's senior team may make the CL group stages). However, the youth teams of clubs in Saint Eleanor are often the representative teams of local schools, rather than formal wings of the clubs themselves. To that effect, and should any of these clubs ever make the CL group stages:

The youth team of Occidental Olympic is Parkside CS. Parkside District Council owns both Olympic and the Community School.
The youth team of Sword and Shield is the University College. University College is a school run by the University of Saint Eleanor, whose Board of Trustees own Sword and Shield. Contrary to what many people believe, the University is a campus university. Collegiate Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Athletic Saint Eleanor is Whitehammer CS. The Eleanorian Chamber of Commerce, which counts several hundred privately-owned businesses among its members, owns Athletic. Whitehammer District Council owns the Community School, but many members of its PE Department also work as coaches for Athletic and they have the final say over who plays for Whitehammer.
The youth team of Independence 1975 is the Eleanorian Academy. The Government runs both Independence and the Academy. Central Community School does not exist.
The youth team of Grand Beach is Grand Beach CS. Gregory Willis, the owner of Willis fried chicken restaurants, owns Grand Beach. His eldest daughter, Sophie, is the Community School's head of the English department; she selects who plays for GBCS in consultation with the PE department.
The youth team of Army and Navy is the Army School. Army School is run by the Eleanorian Army, which owns Army and Navy. Oaktree Community School does exist, but has no affiliation with the Army.
The youth team of Good Hope Club is Trident CS. The Good Hope Supporters' Trust owns Good Hope. Trident District Council owns the Community School, but has an agreement with the Supporters Trust by which the School wears GHC's colours of light blue and plays its home matches at GHC's home stadium, the Good Hope Stadium.
The youth team of Golden Unicorn is Brightway CS. Emerald, the premier fund management company in the Novalk Peninsula, owns Golden Unicorn. It also provides generous funding to Brightway's Football Academy without which their ability to send a full-strength team to the Shield would be greatly diminished.
The youth team of Nova Aegis is Bramblewood CS. Bramblewood District Council owns both Nova Aegis and the Community School.
The youth team of the Polytechnic Institute is Buckhead CS. Buckhead Community School is not actually run by the Polytechnic Institute of Saint Eleanor, which owns the club of the same name - it is, like all Community Schools, operated by the district council - but a memorandum of understanding was made with the Polytechnic in 2009, through which the Poly financially supports BCS's PE department.
The youth team of Hiyashi Celestia is Broadlands CS. The Hiyashi Corporation founded (and still owns) Celestia; they have pumped significant sums of money into the Broadlands school team since doing so. Just don't ask where it comes from. It's all perfectly legal revenue from sales and whatnot, we promise.
The youth team of Newbanks United is Newbanks CS. The practice of Newbanks United offering a contract every year to a player from the Community School has long gone, but some of United's coaches now work as PE teachers for the School (much as they do in Whitehammer), and the presumption remains that any sufficiently good NCS player will more likely than not contract with Newbanks United should there be a need in the team.
Premier CS is a non-commercial name. The school, although in possession of a football academy that is ridiculously well-funded by D. Tommy Sanford's PREMIER empire (it was his before he got busted, anyway), is actually located in Premier district, which was made to specification by a group of civil engineers working on behalf of the Eleanorian Army.

"CS" always stands for Community School, by far the most common name given to Eleanorian schools; this abbreviation is used throughout to comply with IFCF character limits.

If you were a serious Golden Backpack contestant and you were playing for any of the above schools, then there's a good chance that you will end up playing for the school's linked Saint Eleanor League club (especially since Juventud collapsed in 2009). Some young players do successfully angle for a move to another major club - Àlfôn Qâerês is with Sword and Shield even though he played for the Academy in 2004, for instance.

Round 1 (1/23 final)

Bishopgate CS 0–1 Williamstown CS
Williamstown CS 2–0 Bishopgate CS
Williamstown CS win 3-0 on aggregate

Premier CS 6–2 Oaktree CS
Oaktree CS 0–3 Premier CS
Premier CS win 9-2 on aggregate

Elsmouth CS 0–0 New St Paul CS
New St Paul CS 6–0 Elsmouth CS
New St Paul CS win 6-0 on aggregate

Marketplace CS 2–0 Silverton CS
Silverton CS 1–3 Marketplace CS
Marketplace CS win 5-1 on aggregate

Eastern Fell CS 0–0 Brightway CS
Brightway CS 2–3 Eastern Fell CS
Eastern Fell CS win 3-2 on aggregate

Tannerton CS 0–2 Buckhead CS
Buckhead CS 2–3 Tannerton CS
Buckhead CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Richardgate CS 0–1 Holland CS
Holland CS 1–0 Richardgate CS
Holland CS win 2-0 on aggregate

New Lizard CS 2–2 Goldsmiths CS
Goldsmiths CS 0–1 New Lizard CS
New Lizard CS win 3-2 on aggregate

Queenston CS 3–0 St George CS
St George CS 4–2 Queenston CS
Queenston CS win 5-4 on aggregate

Jacobville CS 5–2 Farbend CS
Farbend CS 0–3 Jacobville CS
Jacobville CS win 8-2 on aggregate

Bonpool CS 4–3 Carpentersville CS
Carpentersville CS 1–1 Bonpool CS
Bonpool CS win 5-4 on aggregate

Sunset Gates CS 5–0 Northolt CS
Northolt CS 3–3 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS win 8-3 on aggregate

Liberty 0–1 Grand Beach CS
Grand Beach CS 3–3 Liberty
Grand Beach CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Millerham CS 4–1 Allington CS
Allington CS 1–1 Millerham CS
Millerham CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Kelbury CS 2–1 New Bayside CS
New Bayside CS 0–2 Kelbury CS
Kelbury CS win 4-1 on aggregate

University College 1–1 Magna CS
Magna CS 0–0 University College
Magna CS win 1-1 on aggregate (away goals)

Parkside CS 3–0 Airport CS
Airport CS 1–2 Parkside CS
Parkside CS win 5-1 on aggregate

Deepchester CS 1–3 North Seville CS
North Seville CS 1–1 Deepchester CS
North Seville CS win 4-2 on aggregate

Mount Dennis CS 0–2 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 3–0 Mount Dennis CS
Hartridge CS win 5-0 on aggregate

Springfield CS 0–1 St Paul CS
St Paul CS 2–0 Springfield CS
St Paul CS win 3-0 on aggregate

Crownedhead CS 0–2 Atlas CS
Atlas CS 3–3 Crownedhead CS
Atlas CS win 5-3 on aggregate

Blackwood CS 2–4 Bramblewood CS
Bramblewood CS 1–1 Blackwood CS
Bramblewood CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Trident CS 2–1 Wellington CS
Wellington CS 3–2 Trident CS
Trident CS win 4-4 on aggregate (away goals)

The lucky 23 winners in Round 1 will be joined by last year's 2nd-8th-ranked Charity Cup teams - Army School, Boys' Preparatory, Broadlands CS, Girls' Preparatory, Newbanks CS, Saint Benedict's Catholic, and Whitehammer CS - in Round 2.

Round 2 (1/15 final)

Premier CS 1–0 Hartridge CS
Hartridge CS 0–1 Premier CS
Premier CS win 2-0 on aggregate

Sunset Gates CS 4–2 Williamstown CS
Williamstown CS 0–1 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS win 5-2 on aggregate

Bonpool CS 0–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–0 Bonpool CS
Saint Benedict's Catholic win 3-0 on aggregate

Trident CS 1–0 St Paul CS
St Paul CS 1–2 Trident CS
Trident CS win 3-1 on aggregate

Bramblewood CS 3–3 Buckhead CS
Buckhead CS 1–0 Bramblewood CS
Buckhead CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Kelbury CS 2–0 Broadlands CS
Broadlands CS 2–0 Kelbury CS (2–0 AET) (6–7 pen.)
Kelbury CS win 2-2 on aggregate (penalties)

Army School 1–0 New St Paul CS
New St Paul CS 0–0 Army School
Army School win 1-0 on aggregate

Grand Beach CS 4–4 Parkside CS
Parkside CS 2–0 Grand Beach CS
Parkside CS win 6-4 on aggregate

Newbanks CS 4–2 Eastern Fell CS
Eastern Fell CS 1–0 Newbanks CS
Newbanks CS win 4-3 on aggregate

Whitehammer CS 0–0 North Seville CS
North Seville CS 2–1 Whitehammer CS
North Seville CS win 2-1 on aggregate

Holland CS 0–0 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory 5–1 Holland CS
Boys' Preparatory win 5-1 on aggregate

Girls' Preparatory 7–1 Jacobville CS
Jacobville CS 2–1 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory win 8-3 on aggregate

Marketplace CS 1–1 New Lizard CS
New Lizard CS 2–1 Marketplace CS
New Lizard CS win 3-2 on aggregate

Queenston CS 2–3 Atlas CS
Atlas CS 2–3 Queenston CS (4–3 AET)
Atlas CS win 7-5 on aggregate (after extra time)

Magna CS 0–1 Millerham CS
Millerham CS 1–1 Magna CS
Millerham CS win 2-1 on aggregate

The lucky 15 winners in Round 1 will be joined by Charity Cup champions Eleanorian Academy in Round 3.

Round 3 (1/8 final)

Buckhead CS 0–0 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory 6–2 Buckhead CS
Boys' Preparatory win 6-2 on aggregate

Girls' Preparatory 4–1 Kelbury CS
Kelbury CS 0–0 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory win 4-1 on aggregate

Saint Benedict's Catholic 1–1 New Lizard CS
New Lizard CS 1–3 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Saint Benedict's Catholic win 4-2 on aggregate

Newbanks CS 2–5 Premier CS
Premier CS 2–1 Newbanks CS
Premier CS win 7-3 on aggregate

Trident CS 2–1 Sunset Gates CS
Sunset Gates CS 2–1 Trident CS (3–2 AET)
Trident CS win 4-4 on aggregate (away goals)

Parkside CS 0–0 Eleanorian Academy
Eleanorian Academy 1–0 Parkside CS
Eleanorian Academy win 1-0 on aggregate

Atlas CS 2–0 North Seville CS
North Seville CS 0–0 Atlas CS
Atlas CS win 2-0 on aggregate

Army School 3–2 Millerham CS
Millerham CS 1–1 Army School
Army School win 4-3 on aggregate

Round 4 (1/4 final)

Premier CS 2–3 Eleanorian Academy
Eleanorian Academy 2–0 Premier CS
Eleanorian Academy win 5-2 on aggregate

Saint Benedict's Catholic 0–2 Army School
Army School 4–2 Saint Benedict's Catholic
Army School win 6-2 on aggregate

Boys' Preparatory 0–0 Trident CS
Trident CS 2–3 Boys' Preparatory
Boys' Preparatory win 3-2 on aggregate

Atlas CS 1–0 Girls' Preparatory
Girls' Preparatory 1–1 Atlas CS
Atlas CS win 2-1 on aggregate

Semifinals
Boys' Preparatory 3–2 Army School
[Kevin O'Leary 32, Andrew Willis 52, John Alexander 80; Mary Andrews 29, Jack Donaldson 40]
Army School 3–6 Boys' Preparatory
[Mary Andrews 44, Laura Bates 53, Henry Rutter 71; Kevin O'Leary 23, 40 and 67, William Pointer 31, Simon Packer 64, Dan Heywood 87]
Boys' Preparatory win 9-5 on aggregate

Atlas CS 1–1 Eleanorian Academy
[Lydia Falconer 32; Sophia Davis 77]
Eleanorian Academy 2–2 Atlas CS
[Michael Morris 53, Terry Baker 80; John Garrett 40, Sarah Ripley 57]
Atlas CS win 3-3 on aggregate (away goals)

The four semifinalists have been entered into the 2009 Showcase. The Showcase, a sixteen-team cup which also stars the twelve League clubs, is a desperate - and successful - attempt by the Saint Eleanor Football Association to ensure that it can enter teams into the Cup Winners' Cup without getting smacked because it attempted to enter the winners of the Charles Trump Shield.

THE FINAL
Atlas CS 3–1 Boys' Preparatory ~~~ at the National Liberation Arena (56,844 in attendance)
[Lydia Falconer 20, Rob Francis 35, Joseph Brookings 64; Kevin O'Leary 12]

Saint Eleanor will enter Atlas CS, the winners of the 2007 Charles Trump Shield, into Rising Stars Cup 20. (Their crest is depicted to the right.)

Into the battle ride the following unsuspecting teenagers: 1. Harry Young [GK; he/him]; 2. Sarah Ripley [LB; she/her]; 3. Gareth Smith-Ellis [CB; he/him]; 4. Katie Parton [CB; she/her]; 5. Paul Vance [RB; he/him]; 6. Victoria Hopkins [CM; she/her]; 7. Rob Francis [LM; he/him]; 8. Eliza Waters [CM; she/her]; 9. John Garrett [ST; he/him]; 10. Lydia Falconer [ST; she/her]; 11. Daniel Cook [RM; he/him]; 12. Samuel Bacon [GK; he/him]; 13. Simon Wallis [CB; he/him]; 14. Polly Simpson [RB; she/her]; 15. Morgan Black [LM; he/him]; 16. Alex Baines [CM; he/him]; 17. Rachel Glass [RM; she/her]; 18. Joseph Brookings [ST; he/him]. They are joined by their manager, Edward Bennett [he/him].

Atlas CS will play their home matches in the RSC and - if needs be - CWC at Atlas Stadium 2 in Atlas District district, seated capacity 4,000. There is little to distinguish Atlas Stadium 2 from the much larger Atlas Stadium 1, soon to host a Saint Eleanor League club, other than its slightly less gargantuan size and its slightly less perfect - although no less fabuous - engineering. This is also a rare example of an all-seater CTS stadium, designed to easily occupy virtually all supporters from the two competing schools (or IFCF-affiliated youth teams as may be the case) and however many stragglers bother to pay up. Assuming the tickets aren't being offered for free, which often happens.

Following the initial publication of this pamphlet, Athletic Saint Eleanor won the Saint Eleanor League of 2009, with Independence 1975 in second. This means that - should the clubs reach the group stages of Champions League 19 - Whitehammer CS (crest left) and the Eleanorian Academy (crest right) will enter the group stages of Rising Stars Cup 19. Their managers, Sarah Newbury [she/her] and Michael Black [he/him], are happy to inform opposing managers and foreign media about their teamsheets should they ask for it.

Whitehammer CS will play their home matches in the RSC at the Community Grounds in Whitehammer district, seated capacity 2,200. Although owned by the district council, as the school is, the Community Grounds are predominantly used by the school, and have hosted every last one of its home games - even before the War of Independence. The main, seated grandstand snakes around the corner behind the goal (where curious away fans are allotted), a particularly creative way to stop the ball from encroaching on two roads that provide easy access to the school.

The Eleanorian Academy will play their home matches in the RSC at The Quadrangle in Central district, seated capacity 4,625. The de-facto training ground for Independence 1975 and (on occasions) the national team, The Quad is astonishingly well-maintained for obvious reasons, which could very plausibly include "it belongs to the Academy" and "see earlier." It was, until very recently, the only school-owned field in the CTS to have four stands (although Premier CS's Proving Grounds have matched it since), which is ideal for crowd control and enhanced supporter experience on the very rare occasions it happens to be anywhere near capacity.

The winner of this year's Golden Backpack is Kevin O'Leary. The Boys' Preparatory's superstar striker, more information about him will be deposited in this space later for time's sake.

Next year's games

Not entered in this round

Round 1

(will do this after the deadline, sorry)

Not entered in this round

Round 2

(will do this after the deadline, sorry)

OOC: Just Hitched!, my league storyline for this year, was approved by Squorn - both in principle and as regards the off-field romantic action. (The on-field action is godmod-free and everything else is just Eleanorians speaking to each other.)

In the below post is more information about... The Saint Eleanor League of 2009

Incorporating post-season fun and shenanigans for all the family: The 2009 Showcase

In 1998, Charles Trump Shield winners University College were barred from the Cup Winners' Cup due to the nature of the Shield. Coincidentally, 1998 was also the year that the Saint Eleanor League expanded to twelve clubs - although this was admittedly a few months and technically a year later. So what better to do than take each year's Shield semifinalists, force them to play against the League clubs (actually, it's the President doing the forcing), and call it a fair, competitive, character-building tournament which just so happens to be good for one Cup Winners' Cup entry? I mean, taking four random amateur clubs would have made it a closer approximation. But then it wouldn't be The Showcase of the best, brightest, and sometimes most deeply confused that Saint Eleanor has to offer.

Showcase Palmares
Independence 1975: 3 (2002, 2003, 2004)
Athletic Saint Eleanor: 3 (2006, 2007, 2008)
Hiyashi Celestia: 3 (1999, 2000, 2005)
Occidental Olympic: 1 (2001)

Also incorporating a blink-and-you-miss-it review of 2009's IFCF proceedings, the 20th of their kind

Preview of the League sides (by Jamie Rodgers of SESB)

Legend: 99. {all eligible NT flags, if non-EXT; see below} Player McPlayerface [WINNER AS PLAYER: WORLD CUP 1000000, CUP OF HARMONY 1000000, BAPTISM OF FIRE 1000000; IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE/UICA CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, IFCF CHALLENGERS' CUP/UICA GLOBE CUP 1000000, IFCF ASSOCIATIONS' TROPHY 1000000, IFCF LIGA B CHAMPIONS' TROPHY/UICA SERIES B CHAMPIONS' CUP 1000000, CUP WINNERS' CUP 1000000] [WINNER AS MANAGER: AS BEFORE] [CAPTAIN] [POS; species; Army rank; 9001yo; pro/nouns].

Other notes:

Teams are in descending order of 2008 SEL finish.
Starting lineups go from 1 to 11; substitutes wear 12 to 18. Lineups are good for the 19th IFCF cycle.
Ages given reflect how old the Eleanorians will be at the end of 2009, and how old the foreigners were when we last checked.
Underlined single nationals play for the national team they are eligible for as of the start of 2009. Underlined dual nationals play for the national team whose flag appears first before their name as of that date.
Everyone is a human, and from Saint Eleanor, unless otherwise stated.
See a player without a like-for-like substitute? Subs listed as playing on one side of the pitch usually have no qualms with playing on the other as necessary.
The same "Important OOC notes about the Laws of the Game as they are applied in Saint Eleanor" as here apply.
For my sanity's sake, I'm not going to reproduce 2009's list of dates here. The list doesn't exist yet, but I should magic it into existence in the coming weeks.

by **Saint Eleanor** » Mon Nov 18, 2024 1:01 am

Independence 1975 - "Indy;" "The Liberators" - the club of the (civilian) government and the Eleanorian masses

Home stadium: The National Liberation Arena, Central district (capacity 68,184)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-2-3-1): 1. Robby Ellis [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 2. Cathy Winchester [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LB; 31yo; she/her]; 3. Joe Willis [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 4. Layla Grover [CDM; 29yo; she/her]; 5. Katy Wilson [CB; 25yo; she/her]; 6. Matt Morrison [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 7. David Newcastle [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LM; 35yo; he/him]; 8. + Kichirō Matsuda [CDM; Wunderbar; 25yo; he/him]; 9. Dortmün Çídh [ST; 32yo; he/him]; 10. Kavezalea Felaraneta [CAM; 25yo; he/him]; 11. Gary Morgan [RM; 26yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Lisa Dobson [GK; 20yo; she/her]; 13. Joshua Tanner [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 14. Lucy Hendricks [RB; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Jon Harp [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 16. Adam Tarrant [CM; 24yo; he/him]; 17. Ian Marks [ST; 23yo; he/him]; 18. Angela Spooner [RM; 21yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Lydia Sharp [54yo; she/her]: It has been a slow few years in the transfer market, and more generally on the personnel front, for the League. Sharp has accordingly stayed true to expectations, keeping to largely the same squad that won last year's title, while giving the promising, conservative-minded Joe Willis the regular starts he has been preparing for. Ellis and Winchester have by now long proven their respective worths as the key defensive figures, helping to ground the back four in something approaching realism. The attacking set all have a well-known profile and have consistently delivered, but there have been fears of a slowdown on that front; Sharp suggesting that Indy might need to "turn on the taps a little bit" a few weeks before the start of the season would have caught many off-guard, but it might well be the step they need to take, as many Grand Beach fans can attest.

Athletic Saint Eleanor - "Athletic;" "The Reds" - the club of the business owners

Home stadium: Northwest Road, Whitehammer district (capacity 53,174)
Starting lineup (preferred formation 4-1-3-2): 1. Kirsti Sundgren [GK; 24yo; she/her]; 2. Elissa Curry [LB; 29yo; she/her]; 3. Naresmet taFrexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RB; 33yo; he/him]; 4. Bridget Coombe [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CDM; 34yo; she/her]; 5. + Lydia VIckers [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 6. Esther Launceston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 28yo; she/her]; 7. Graham Lawson [LM; 29yo; he/him]; 8. Michael Jackett [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 9. Nightingale [WINNER AS PLAYER: IFCF CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE 6] [CAPTAIN] [ST; pegasus; 36yo; she/her]; 10. Tim Driver [ST; 28yo; he/him]; 11. Wasemprela Sareleva [RM; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Harry Mitchell [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Ben McDougall [CB; 23yo; he/him]; 14. Natasha Rhodes [CM; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Charlotte Phillips [RM; 24yo; she/her]; 16. Phil Parris [ST; 24yo; he/him]; 17. James Johnson [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 18. Charles Brewer [CM; 20yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Yelto-Aflan Ono [47yo; they/them]: Consistency is the word for YAO even more than it is for their old rival Sharp, having run Indy close yet again and made the last sixteen of the Champions' League on top of it. They still have a proven reputation for tinkering with the squad from time to time, but the overall setup is clear: Sundgren may well be here to stay, given how well and how surprisingly she has acquitted herself. Launceston remains much-needed - she is on good personal and professional terms with almost everyone else on the squad, but especially Vickers and Coombe, the other main defensive influences. Nightingale is not only the greatest striker in SEL history, but also a competent all-rounder who is supported by perhaps the most cohesive midfield in the league. There are question marks about how far this team can go, however; if the ever-looming rumours of Coombe's departure are true, they might start flirting with the Challengers' Cup.

Hiyashi Celestia - "Celestia;" "The Angels" - the club of Northern Saint Eleanor's working class (especially Hiyashi's employees in Broadlands)

Home stadium: Celestial Stadium, Broadlands district (capacity 36,645)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Shojiro Ito [GK; 30yo; he/him]; 2. Nicole Morlock [LB; 35yo; she/her]; 3. Sarah Parton [CB; 29yo; she/her]; 4. Isi Šasawić [CB; 30yo; he/him]; 5. Caradoc Anghoill [RB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Nobusuke Kuronuma [CAPTAIN] [CM; 33yo; he/him]; 7. Joe Galbraith [LM; 33yo; he/him]; 8. Maria Morgan [CM; 23yo; she/her]; 9. Rick Goldsmith [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 10. Takeshi Honda [ST; 29yo; he/him]; 11. James Heath [RM; 22yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Josh Baines [GK; 20yo; he/him]; 13. Nigel Vincent [CB; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Alex Lander [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Edward Ruthan [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 16. Bill Simpson [LM; 24yo; he/him]; 17. Eva Wellesley [RM; 33yo; she/her]; 18. Libby Freeman [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Rachel Schanke [46yo; she/her]: It would be extremely easy for me to copy and paste last year's tactical preview here, given the complete and utter lack of change, but then Schanke is a fairly conservative manager who sticks by her players - especially Morlock, who shows no sign of giving up in her mid-thirties and is no longer the weakest of the defenders. The relative absence of the Kandorese FA may be a concern to her, but there has been nothing in recent seasons to suggest that any of their contingent at the club has dipped in quality. At this point, Rick Goldsmith - so good he got on the national team - and Maria Morgan are easily the best of the local bunch, although the substitutes bench is young as expected and the consensus is that any of them could hold a candle to most SEL players in their positions. Just maybe not the ones at Hiyashi Celestia, though.

Newbanks United - "United;" "The Students" - the club of eastern, non-coastal Saint Eleanor city (and Squidroidia)

Home stadium: Eastern Fields, Newbanks district (capacity 24,184)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Carla Hawkins [GK; 32yo; she/her]; 2. Polly Ground [LB; 31yo; she/her]; 3. Michael Dean [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 4. + Daiki Fujiwara [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Harriet Farnham [RB; 26yo; he/him]; 6. Emma Francis [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 7. + Hamnet Borysov [LM; Inkling; 30yo; he/him]; 8. Rachel Woodhouse [CM; 29yo; she/her]; 9. Rachel McNamara [ST; 30yo; she/her]; 10. + Nobuyuki Ishida [ST; 29yo, he/him]; 11. Tash Banbury [RM; 34yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Damian Rhodes [GK; 25yo; he/him]; 13. + Kōji Katou [CAPTAIN] [CB; 39yo; he/him]; 14. Catherine Morrison [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 15. Noah Halford [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 16. James Pittam [RM; 24yo; he/him]; 17. Palerenala vaEplanera [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 18. Simon Smith [ST; 21yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Ian Graham [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 73] [62yo; he/him]: Graham surely accepts that this will be his final rodeo with Newbanks, having repeatedly commented about how he does not see a future beyond the club's current IFCF run. Everywhere you look, there is despondency and confusion: there are no trialists from the Community School; Kōji Katou has said he intends to seek retirement "eventually," although will be on the bench to see Michael Dean through the new order; even Ishida is slowly stepping back, in the interests of giving way to Simon Smith, perhaps for the lower-stakes match-ups. Hawkins and McNamara are past thirty, although they have not lost their mojo yet. There is hardly anyone else of note in the team who is not either past their peak or approaching it.

Sword and Shield - "Arsenal;" "The Collegiates" - the club of the University

Home stadium: University Grounds, Collegiate district (capacity 35,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-2-1-3): 1. Michael Hall [GK; 31yo; he/him]; 2. Gordon Pratt [LB; 28yo; he/him]; 3. Christine Terrence [CB; 30yo; she/her]; 4. John Alexander [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Evan Kilkenny [RB; 33yo; he/him]; 6. Joe Watts [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 7. Hugh Roanoke [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [LM; 34yo; he/him]; 8. Lucas Barrow [CM; 28yo; he/him]; 9. Olympia Woodward [ST; 20yo; she/her]; 10. Rosa Strong [CAM; 21yo; she/her]; 11. Naclé Öhân [RM; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Àlfôn Qâerês [LM; 22yo; he/him]; 13. Ed Jackson [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 14. Rebecca Daniels [CB; 20yo; she/her]; 15. Bella Gray [RB; 29yo; she/her]; 16. Pakelana Vezara [CM; 21yo; he/him]; 17. Luke Barring [RM; 26yo; he/him]; 18. Alexandra Marcus [ST; 28yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Emma Steele [48yo; she/her]: Steele has now been at the helm of Sword and Shield for one-fifth of her life, which is not a bad achievement for someone who had never worked in football before. Woodward acquitted herself wonderfully last year, scooping up fourteen goals, and will be looking to make a similarly permanent mark in the years ahead. Hugh Roanoke, a good if not quite stellar all-rounder, persists on the wing, while Rosa Strong - the unofficial heir to Maddie Gordon - is still trying to match her in accomplishments if not in style, which is not all that bad a thing. The defence is average, but Kilkenny and Terrence should see it through for another few years, unless yet another golden generation emerges - something that Steele shouldn't count on.

Golden Unicorn - "The Unicorn" - the club of northern Saint Eleanor city's middle-class (and the odd aesthete or two)

Home stadium: Dignity Cross, Brightway district (capacity 27,587)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-1-1): 1. Georgia Wood [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [GK; 37yo; she/her]; 2. Gavin Laker [LB; 27yo; he/him]; 3. Keith Bartlett [RB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. Samuel Lewis [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Aaron Francis [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CB; 33yo; he/him]; 6. Logan Hughes [CB; 37yo; he/him]; 7. Peter Walker [LM; 23yo; he/him]; 8. Natalie Monaco [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAM; 33yo; she/her]; 9. Jaclyn Foley [ST; 28yo; she/her]; 10. Wanar-Xalan Tla [CM; 28yo; they/them]; 11. Gionata Mariani [RM; 28yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Katie Masterson [GK; 23yo; she/her]; 13. Michael Burns [LB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Ganelarana paValetara [CB; 25yo; she/her]; 15. Alisha Peters [RB; 22yo; she/her]; 16. Natasha Wallis [CM; 25yo; she/her]; 17. Adam Hall [RM; 34yo; he/him]; 18. Parecava gaExhecela [ST; 25yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Justin Wood [51yo; he/him]: Having led his beloved club to their first top-half finish in six years, Wood's reward is to become the Unicorn's permanent boss. He may be hoping to bring the team to a higher level, but it's not clear that this team has what it takes quite yet. Wanar-Xalan is now rapidly establishing themselves as a mainstay of the Qusma national team, Monaco is just about still at the peak of her powers, Foley has proven herself to be a quality striker, and the other Wood remains legendary in just about every sense imaginable. But Francis is not quite at his best, there are doubts about the rest of the defence, and Mariani's long-held commitment to stay at the Unicorn until at least 2010 might not be as useful as he once swore it was - but we'll see.

Occidental Olympic - "Olympic;" "The Westerners" - the club of western and north-western Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Parkside Stadium, Parkside district (capacity 26,285)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2 diamond): 1. Neil Rourke [GK; 37yo; he/him]; 2. Rachel Curran [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Lynul-Sevet Pul [RB; 28yo; they/them]; 4. Kieran Hyatt [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Mike Pringle [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 6. Glenn French [CDM; 27yo; he/him]; 7. Lily Emmerson [LM; 23yo; she/her]; 8. Brian Hurd [RM; 23yo; he/him]; 9. David Key [ST; 27yo; he/him]; 10. Steve Pilchard [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CAM; 32yo; he/him]; 11. Dekamela weMexala [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [ST; 34yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. David Johnson [GK; 26yo; he/him]; 13. Jack Owen [LB; 26yo; he/him]; 14. Diana Gray [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 15. Andrew Card [CDM; 24yo; he/him]; 16. Heather Blake [CAM; 27yo; she/her]; 17. Ella Pinkman [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 18. Wendy Smith [ST; 23yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: George Dunbar [50yo; he/him]: Normally criticised for being a fairly stagnant manager, Dunbar has evaded criticism this year not only because of the slow transfer market, but also in the hope that he can prove last year's seventh-place finish to be an unwelcome, blinding flash in the pan. There is still no need to explain why Pilchard, weMexala and Key are some of the best at what they do, although Wendy Smith might emerge from time to time to add a bit of oomph. Rourke is 37 years old, which is hardly a career-ending age for a goalkeeper - but as he is hardly on the level of someone like Georgia Wood, it may be time for Johnson to step in. Curran, the inexorable ex-cheerleader, is the centrepiece of a defence in its prime - and I cannot go without mentioning how Emerson and Hurd have adapted amazingly to Dunbar's new, more wing-oriented approach to the game. All of them will be needed for a return to the IFCF.

Army and Navy - "The Soldiers" - the club of the Eleanorian Army (which all players are members of)

Home stadium: New Barracks, Oaktree district (capacity 32,200)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Rose Carter [GK; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; she/her]; 2. Alan Eldridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [LB; Lance-Corporal; 36yo; he/him]; 3. Victor Bone [RB; Private; 31yo; he/him]; 4. David Green [CM; Private; 27yo; he/him]; 5. Adam Shilling [CB; Lance-Corporal; 30yo; he/him]; 6. Denise Livingston [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; Sergeant; 28yo; she/her]; 7. Mark Gould [LM; Private; 28yo; he/him]; 8. James Walter [CM; Lance-Corporal; 26yo; he/him]; 9. Isabella Bright [ST; Private; 20yo; she/her]; 10. George Murson [ST; Lance-Corporal; 23yo; he/him]; 11. Sarah Wallace [RM; Private; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Nathan Smith [GK; Private; 23yo; he/him]; 13. Paul Jones [CB; Lance-Corporal; 28yo; he/him]; 14. Kevin Bryson [LB; Private; 25yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Silver [CM; Lance-Corporal; 24yo; she/her]; 16. Johanna Spencer [ST; Private; 21yo; she/her]; 17. Natalie Evans [RM; Private; 22yo; she/her]; 18. David Porter [RM; Private; 19yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Luke McCarthy [50yo; Colonel; he/him]: "Unpredictable" has never been an appropriate word to describe Army and Navy, but this year, there really is no telling where the team may end up. David Porter arrives, although purely as a next-generation backup. Bright will be looking to continue her short but successful tenure up front, and the midfield behind her knows exactly what they are doing - something that can be rarely said. One point of note is that Eldridge is preparing to retire, having ceded the captaincy to the ever-stable Livingston and stated that he wishes Bryson to "enjoy his playing time." His experience will be needed - and it might well throw a spike into their IFCF hopes, at least for this season.

Grand Beach - "The Dolphins" - the club of coastal Saint Eleanor city

Home stadium: Albion Road, Grand Beach district (capacity 24,815)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Volnavera xaParelanara [GK; 29yo; she/her]; 2. Christina Fulton [LB; 31yo; she/her]; 3. James Benson [CB; 25yo; he/him]; 4. Gary Milton [CM; 29yo; he/him]; 5. Sam Newbridge [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [CAPTAIN] [CB; 35yo; he/him]; 6. Owen Cartwright [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 7. Liz Harris [LM; 33yo; she/her]; 8. Rachel Coulter [CM; 22yo; she/her]; 9. Sara Halbrook [ST; 31yo; she/her]; 10. Esther Vaughan [ST; 21yo; she/her]; 11. Tim Brandon [WINNER AS PLAYER: CUP OF HARMONY 84] [RM; 33yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Anthony George [GK; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Richard Booth [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 14. Bill Kendall [CB; 20yo; he/him]; 15. Olivia Herbert [LB; 23yo; she/her]; 16. Jack Brewer [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 17. Michelle Tallard [ST; 26yo; she/her]; 18. Adam Charles [CM; 22yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Nathaniel Jenkins [54yo; he/him]: It's unlikely that Grand Beach will be one of the first two teams to be relegated into the new second division, but then it's not obvious if Jenkins has done anything of note to prevent the Dolphins' slide into irrelevancy. It doesn't help that Vaughan, hardly one to complain, has gotten increasingly sarcastic at the press conferences she's appeared at. The midfield can be amazing at times - Brandon is fast as ever and Coulter has made a seriously good first impression - but it is often little, if anything, to write home about. Bill Kendall is the club's first new defender for a while, but even he might be "too little, too late" given the continued necessity of Newbridge.

Good Hope Club - "The Seasiders" - the club of the dockworkers

Home stadium: The Good Hope Stadium, Trident district (capacity 22,174)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-1-4-1): 1. Hannah Downing [GK; 31yo; she/her]; 2. Tina Falconer [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Keith Barnett [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 4. Yusuf Sofyan [CB; 24yo; he/him]; 5. Carrie Holliday [CM; 27yo; she/her]; 6. Laura Brown [CAPTAIN] [CB; 38yo; she/her]; 7. Aaron Burrow [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Charlotte Bryant [CDM; 35yo; she/her]; 9. Alexandra Barrett [RM; 25yo; she/her]; 10. Naferala paVepexala [CM; 27yo; he/him]; 11. Amanda Cleveland [ST; 27yo; she/her]
Substitutes: 12. Darren Barker [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 13. George Anderson [LB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Steve Harbrough [CB; 27yo; he/him]; 15. Rachel McEwan [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Owen Blackwater [CM; 20yo; he/him]; 17. Terry Smith [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 18. Oliver Samuels [ST; 22yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Mary Kirkport [48yo; she/her]: 2009 is very much the year of the warning sign for Eleanorian football - not only with promotion and the likely return of the Charles Trump Shield, but also Laura Brown's stated intention to retire next year. Kirkport should have no reason to be concerned, however, given the team's relative strength in depth beyond that: Sofyan would be a more-than-able defensive leader in her stead and it is a wonder that he has never been capped. The fact that Barnett has operated without any criticism for a couple of years is also a good sign that he is one for the future. Cleveland is a consistent striker, although one who has often been overshadowed by other Eleanorians. The midfield - other than the well-established, near-celebrity Bryant - is largely a quantity that the entire country has slept on, possibly including most GHC fans.

Nova Aegis - "The Pink Falcons" - the club of the worst-off, especially from Sunset Gates to Buckhead

Home stadium: The Workers' Coliseum, Bramblewood district (capacity 20,874)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. August Wills [GK; 24yo; he/him]; 2. Lauren Smith [LB; 27yo; she/her]; 3. Simon Donald [RB; 22yo; he/him]; 4. Rick Street [CAPTAIN] [CB; 28yo; he/him]; 5. Stephen Shepley [CB; 29yo; he/him]; 6. Amelia Lane [CM; 34yo; she/her]; 7. Matthew Wrekin [LM; 27yo; he/him]; 8. Alessio Lombardo [CM; 25yo; he/him]; 9. Paul Ronson [RM; 22yo; he/him]; 10. Deborah Dennis [ST; 23yo; she/her]; 11. Bill Murphy [ST; 21yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. Charlotte White [GK; 19yo; she/her]; 13. Richard Trincham [LB; 19yo; he/him]; 14. Louise Morgan [CB; 21yo; she/her]; 15. Tommy Grant [LM; 20yo; he/him]; 16. Keith Albert [CM; 23yo; he/him]; 17. Nick Ellison [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 18. Patrick Trout [RM; 23yo; he/him]
Manager and tactics: Darren Smith [57yo; he/him]: One of very few eighties legends for Aegis, "Big Daz" has been forced to step up following yet another eleventh-place finish - although "forced" may be the wrong word, as James made club history yet again by actually resigning with grace. His first act as manager was to finally get Bill Murphy into professional football, four years after his Charles Trump Shield heroics; this was quite the interesting decision and time will tell whether it pays off. White and Trincham are also brought in straight from youth level, although they are unlikely to get minutes any time soon and this might just be a play to delay the inevitable. Street is the centrepiece of the defence and, with Lenham and Bryant having retired, the entire team, meaning that his sensible approach to life and football will need to pay off fast. Lombardo is still way too good for this level.

Polytechnic Institute - "The Poly" - the club of the Polytechnic

Home stadium: Polytechnic Sports Centre, Buckhead district (capacity 6,088)
Teamsheet (preferred formation 4-4-2): 1. Ian Black [CAPTAIN] [GK; 22yo; he/him]; 2. Ivica Slabinac [RB; 21yo; he/him]; 3. Lily Bruton [CB; 19yo; she/her]; 4. Edward Broad [CB; 21yo; he/him]; 5. Chloe Roland [LB; 20yo; she/her]; 6. James Salt [CM; 19yo; he/him]; 7. Michelle Addison [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 8. Gisken Aldra [CM; 19yo; they/them]; 9. Beatrix Hillman-Tower [ST; 19yo; she/her]; 10. Bill Wood [ST; 20yo; he/him]; 11. Alan Brinkley [LM; 20yo; he/him]
Substitutes: 12. David Tanner [POS; 19yo; he/him]; 13. Nate George [RB; 20yo; he/him]; 14. Jennifer Wright [CB; 22yo; she/her]; 15. Leah Conroy [RM; 20yo; she/her]; 16. Charles McDonald [LM; 19yo; he/him]; 17. Êber Tóxo [ST; 19yo; he/him]; 18. Emily Anderton [CM; 19yo; she/her]
Manager and tactics: Mike Adamson [54yo; he/him]: Adamson was very much an appointment of necessity; although an understudy of Paul Dennis, the long-suffering coach of Juventud, he insists that he is fully on-board with the Polytechnic Institute's new mission to cultivate under-25s, and promises to leave "next year, after we get a proper manager in here." The obvious names that stand out are Ivica Slabinac, considered to be a serviceable fullback; and Gisken Aldra, an energetic - almost enthusiastic - playmaker, the first two overseas players in the club's history. Black, arguably the best of the survivors from Juventud, has won widespread praise and will be crucial if the team is to concede less than fifty for the first time in over a decade. There are a few notable names from Charles Trump Shields past, too - Bruton, Addison and Salt have all been on winning teams - but this is by and large a good, inoffensive team that will help to keep the club's ambitions alive right as they're about to sprout.

List of SEL winners

Athletic Saint Eleanor: 12
(1975 trial season, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007)

Independence 1975: 12
(1976, 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2004, 2008)

Army and Navy: 4
(1981, 1982, 1985, 1990)

Sword and Shield: 3
(1977, 1989, 1993)

Golden Unicorn: 1
(1987)

Occidental Olympic: 1
(1998)

Hiyashi Celestia: 1
(2000)

* * * * * * * * * *
JUDGMENT DAY

RESULTS OF THE 2009 LEAGUE

▼▼ The Saint Eleanor League of 2009     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
►►  1 Independence 1975                  22   12   5   5    50   30  +20    41    Champions' League 21
►►  2 Athletic Saint Eleanor             22   11   8   3    27   15  +12    41    Champions' League 21
►►  3 Hiyashi Celestia                   22   11   5   6    35   30   +5    38    Challengers' Cup 21
►►  4 Sword and Shield                   22   10   7   5    44   35   +9    36    Challengers' Cup 21
►►  5 Occidental Olympic                 22   11   3   8    43   39   +4    36    Challengers' Cup 21
►►  6 Golden Unicorn                     22   10   5   7    40   35   +5    35
►►  7 Good Hope Club                     22    9   2  11    24   23   +1    29
►►  8 Newbanks United                    22    7   6   9    35   39   −4    27
►►  9 Army and Navy                      22    6   8   8    20   21   −1    26
►► 10 Polytechnic Institute              22    5   5  12    44   58  −14    20
►► 11 Grand Beach                        22    5   5  12    24   41  −17    20    Relegated
►► 12 Nova Aegis                         22    3   6  13    30   50  −20    15    Relegated; Cygnus Cup 69

⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐ ⪐

NOVA AEGIS - WINNERS OF THE 2009 SHOWCASE
ELEANORIAN ENTRANTS INTO CUP WINNERS' CUP 69

1. August Wills [he/him]
2. Lauren Smith [she/her]
3. Simon Donald [he/him]
4. Rick Street [he/him]
5. Stephen Shepley [he/him]
6. Amelia Lane [she/her]
7. Matthew Wrekin [he/him]
8. Alessio Lombardo [South Newlandia; he/him]
9. Paul Ronson [he/him]
10. Deborah Dennis [she/her]
11. Bill Murphy [he/him]
12. Charlotte White [she/her]
13. Richard Trincham [he/him]
14. Louise Morgan [she/her]
15. Tommy Grant [he/him]
16. Keith Albert [he/him]
17. Nick Ellison [he/him]
18. Patrick Trout [he/him]

Manager: Darren Smith [he/him]

RESULTS OF THE 2009 SHOWCASE

Round of Sixteen
Eleanorian Academy (Indy youth team) 3–5 Sword and Shield
Athletic Saint Eleanor 0–0 Army and Navy (0–1 AET)
Atlas CS (independent CTS team) 0–2 Newbanks United
Good Hope Club 1–2 Golden Unicorn
Nova Aegis 2–1 Army School (independent CTS team)
Hiyashi Celestia 0–2 Grand Beach
Independence 1975 1–1 Occidental Olympic (2–2 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Polytechnic Institute 4–1 Boys' Preparatory (independent CTS team)

Quarterfinals
Nova Aegis 2–2 Golden Unicorn (3–3 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Newbanks United 2–0 Independence 1975
Sword and Shield 1–2 Army and Navy
Grand Beach 2–0 Polytechnic Institute

Semifinals
Nova Aegis 4–3 Newbanks United
Army and Navy 0–0 Grand Beach (1–1 AET) (4–1 pen.)

THE FINAL
Nova Aegis 1–0 Army and Navy

* * * * * * * * * *

Oneshot: Just Hitched!

6:40pm - Friday 9th October 2009

Gisken Aldra had enjoyed a good first season, all things considered. For starters, they had finally broken free of Chalesm's substitutes bench and managed to play every single minute for the new, shiny, upcoming Polytechnic Institute. They had scored five goals, and set up no less than eight others, in their increasingly dynamic, exciting setup. They pretty much smash-and-grabbed that late victory against Hiyashi Celestia, early on in the season, on behalf of the rest of the team. They got that last-minute equaliser against Newbanks United, much to the almost-retired Kōji Katou's detest. They only got one booking all year, and actually apologised for it, which is a nicer touch than you'd expect from them or almost any other player. All of this would eventually come to not matter.

"So, tomorrow's the big day. Is there anything worth doing?" Suzy Woodacre had lodged Aldra since the start of the year; they didn't exactly earn nothing at Chalesm, but they must not have thought it was enough to keep them afloat here. She was working as a convenience store attendant, helping to stack the shelves and sometimes taking orders, while Aldra did their job. In a twist of fate, they had gone out with each other quite a few times, and had feelings for each other.

"I mean, we could go out together." Told you so.

"What were you thinking?"

"Lansome's over in St Paul do some very good pizza. It'll cost a fair amount, but I think we've earned it. Besides, the last time we went to the cinema, you didn't like it; I'd rather do my research first."

"I've never been!"

"I haven't, either. The store's frozen pizzas are nice, but I strongly doubt they're this nice. Anyway, it's a fancy place, so I'll need to change and get my handbag, you'll need to do the same, we need to get to the taxi rank in time... hurry up, please."

8:12pm - Friday 9th October 2009

And it was very good pizza indeed. "Yes... I'd also like the chocolate gelato brownie or whatever it is. Hot please."

"And you, madam?"

"Also hot."

"Great idea. It's not as good when it's cold. I'll be there in a moment."

Picture the scene for a moment: the nicest, candle-lightest restaurant in the most obviously working class town you can imagine. They're wearing the only pantsuit they have, and a pair of boots, and really nothing else of note. She's wearing a nice, white, luscious dress, almost-towering heels. The perfume, to the extent it exists, is masked by the beautiful aroma that the managers have spent way too much time designing. Life is altogether more beautiful than it is a quarter of a mile away, in any direction.

"So... is there anything else, Suzy?"

"Nooooo...?"

A few seconds later, the service bell rang. Aldra turned their head, looked to their handbag for a second, and muttered to herself "Order's ready..." These were their words, not the bellhop's. It was completely aberrational for the bellhop to just not call this out.

"Please." The box unfolded. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Oh, my God... yes!" Flash.

"Same! I love you!"

"I LOVE YOU!" Mmmmmwah

"Your other order, please." Flash flash flash

"Take this, Suzy..." Flash flash "Suzy Woodacre, love of my life!" Flash flash flash flash

"Real flowers!" Flash

"That is amazing. I hope you have the best start in life." Flash

"Wow. Congratulations, you two." Flash flash flash

"I saw you on TV!"

"Great! Can you put a face to my name?"

"Griska Aldern!" Flash

"So close." Flash

"Happy marriage!"

"I came here from Crownedhead. Normally I'm down at the oil field. I took some pictures..."

"I don't mind. I relish in the limelight."

"They're right, you know. Do as you please. Show your family."

"They're right? There's only two of you."

"I am Suzy. I'm a woman. This is my fiancée, Gisken Aldra. Gisken likes to be called 'they - so they are non-binary. They play in midfield for the Polytechnic Institute football club."

"Yeah, I've heard of them. Team's not been doing so well, haven't they?"

"It's their big day tomorrow. They have to do better than Grand Beach if they want to be in the top division next year."

"It's their big day today, girl. This one's sticking around for a few years."

"Ooooooh, congratulations."

"Thank you."

"Here are yourrrrrr desserts. Enjoy."

"Don't steal!"

"Gissy... don't be a sore winner."

"Right. I'll keep that in mind for tomorrow."

"Oh, rest assured that I am still waiting on my main course."

"I'm eating!"

"Bless that young boy. He makes a lot of sense."

"Proposing to me in front of fifteen or twenty middle-class people? Which we're most certainly not. Are you sure this was the right decision, Gissy?"

"As I said, Suzy, limelight."

"Yes, but you could have done this somewhere else."

"This was the best place I could think of. And noooo, I will go public about this. If nobody else notices, it'll be my little surprise for tomorrow."

The morning of Saturday 10th October 2009

$Gary Milton$ loved his daily Reporter almost as much as anything in the world other than football and family, so you can imagine his shock when he had to read a story about Grand Beach's fierce relegation rivals. "BLISSKEN ALDRA! What has this world come to?"

"Darling, it's the Reporter. They want the best and the most ridiculous for people. Asking "will you marry me" in front of twenty or thirty people is a pretty big deal when we have half a million citizens. Besides, you asked me in your back garden."

"I know it's the Reporter! These people have gone a bit raving mad about her, don't you think? You don't normally see them fawning over anyone who isn't Esther Launceston."

"About them. And yes, I do think they have a lot of potential. They aren't wasting it. I've read before that they're staying in with Suzy because it helps with their finances and they can find a new friend. That friend's now a girlfriend. Great! It's only our business when they visit us, as is the Eleanorian way."

"Really, though?"

"Gary, not every footballer makes fifty or sixty thousand a year. You need to understand this. People come here because it's fairly affordable, there isn't any tax, and we have some of the best football in the world."

"And a second division next year. I don't think she's really interested in staying up. All we need to do is beat them and when the central midfielder on that team's busy having a night out, the rest of the team's probably really distracted. They're going down, girl."

"*sigh*"

It suffices to say that $Jon Harp$ was no more impressed. "Dad. Come on, Dad. This is a new person."

"Yes, lad. but I think it's a bit silly for you to be having a fun time, doing things like this, before the biggest night of your life."

"Not just silly. Really, Dad. I've seen people do a lot worse before, maybe not in Indy, but in other clubs, other leagues. I feel like this was a massive misjudgment. They won't be at their best, I think."

"Well, I've always been sceptical of the kinds of people who make a big show of everything. I've never seen such a big primadonna in football before, and I've been around for a few years."

"Yes, but it's in the papers. That is just going to fuel their attention, isn't it? New country, everything's unfamiliar, you have friends and you play about with them a bit much until it gets out of hand. You're not focusing on the football that way. Have you wondered why so many of our young players stay here to get minutes? This is why!"

"Don't worry about them. You're playing Good Hope today. It's the title decider I know you're probably on the bench again, but give it your best shot. You never know what you could do."

"Aren't Athletic way ahead of us in the IFCF?"

"I've watched the Cygnus Cup before. It's not that good a tournament. You made the quarterfinals of the Associations Trophy, same as them. You even scored the winning goal in one of those games."

"Yeah... Sleepers Club! Say what you like about Gisken Aldra. Nothing, absolutely nothing, in the world of football beats scoring against a team called Sleepers Club."

"You jolted them awake, son. Time to do the same to Hannah Downing."

"If I get subbed on!"

Meanwhile, $Harriet Farnham$ was just a bit confused. "That guy's right. It does feel like winning the lottery, Brian, doesn't it?"

"I don't play. I bought one scratchcard and didn't win anything. But I think these people felt blessed. You don't see someone popping the question every day."

"Phantasmic... fantastic? Both of those words would do nicely. It's amazing to see them live a wonderful life together."

"They've only been together for not even a year. I'm not sure if the relationship is just going to blaze out as fast as it's come into life."

"Yes, but it's all the time they've spent here. I'd do the same, too. Also, it's Gisken. I know them well - they're a bit impulsive but very funny and very sensible. Everything they do has to hit the spot. I think this just did."

"I think I can agree with you. I'll need to do some more research on the internet."

Naturally, though, $David Tanner and Edward Broad$ took it cool as ever. "Dave, I knew they were going to marry, but not this soon!"

"Just you wait, Ed. Just you wait. I think we'll be invited."

"How do you know that?"

"One, teammates. Two, they're cool with us."

"Ohhhhh, press conference at eleven. Better be there, Dave!"

"Yeah, it'll be a firecracker. How often do you go to a football press conference and all the questions are nice distractions from the beautiful game?"

"Well, it'll certainly be a sight to see. Happy wife, happy life... perhaps even happy strife."

"Hahahahaha! Amazing."

11am - Saturday 10th October 2009

The answer to David Tanner's question is "very rarely." But that is more or less exactly what happened at the Poly Sports'' purported media complex, still not improved much on the days when Juventud were mismanaging it.

"Congratulations on your engagement to Suzy Woodacre. How do you think the Eleanorian public will react to a high-profile lesbian marriage?"

"I'm not a lesbian. I am a happy, fulfilled non-binary person who fell in love with my roommate. Back in my schooldays... *sigh* I just didn't feel like being a girl suited me any more. Don't get me wrong, though - this is a marriage of love, not of necessity. Although I love her enough that a marriage is necessary."

"I'm Dan Hollings from The News Letter. Our investigative journalism team looked into the menu prices and talked to one of the witnesses and everything points to the fact that you spent over $250 on dinner."

"Well, no, it was a three-course meal. I also didn't spend $250. My girlfriend's on 23,000 a year. I'm on 20,000. That's a shared experience and we have roughly the same income, so it made sense for us to split the bill. It's like how we each pay half of the rent for the house because we're almost on poverty wages after all the other spending; I can tell you it was absolutely crushing Suzy. Normally we have fun, cheap dates, but I thought to myself I've saved enough, we haven't really had a fancy dinner that often, so why not?"

"You've been dating Suzy since the start of this year, but the proposal took everyone by surprise. How did you do it?"

"I wanted to surprise her, so I told her a few days ago I was going to the shops. I did that, then I popped in, arranged the arrangements, and booked the table. It worked, because she genuinely thought I was just treating myself for finishing the season like this. The staff at Lansome's were really sweet, by the way."

"So, there's been a lot of discussion about you and Suzy, but now it's over. When are you having the wedding?"

"We'll need to talk about that. She's angling for the New Year but I'd like to see where that fits in my schedule, between that and family back home and everything."

"Some people have said this whole process is a bit rushed. What if you get divorced?"

"Good question. By the time that happens, I'd probably be making enough money to tend her some alimony, get my own place and keep having fun on my own terms."

"Would you call yourself bisexual?"

"No, I'm called Gisken Aldra. Yes, actually; just my luck I've been dating a woman all this time."

"Yes."

"You were pictured with a bottle of wine last night. Do you normally drink?"

"Every Saturday night, I go to the shops and drop a fiver on a six-pack of lager. Yes, it's supermarket own-brand; yes, it's 3½% alcohol. But it's the closest thing we get to a bit of harmless fun."

"That suit you were wearing last night - how did you afford it?"

"Funny question. I'm wearing it right now. It's just about the only formalwear I can afford. As I said, $20,000 salary."

"Your mind was on your girlfriend-now-fiancée last night. Are you sure it'll be on the game when the time comes?"

"I know, right? You'd think getting the biggest question of my life out of the way would make me more focused on today's game, not less."

"Where do you see yourself in five years? In ten years?"

"At another club, possibly another league. I'm literally playing for Club 18-25, what did you expect?"

"The Polytechnic Institute has won just one of their past thirteen games. That is one game in the entire second half of the season. One win in the past six months, and that was against Nova Aegis! Are you nervous about today's game at all?"

"I was. But after recent events, I think I can afford to be a bit more relaxed here."

"Relegation's going to be introduced next year and the bottom two teams are going down. If you're going to stay up, you need a point against one of the best teams in the league, and you need Grand Beach to slip up against another IFCF challenger. Do you really think the Polytechnic Institute has what it takes to get there?"

"Where were you on Friday morning? Were you thinking to yourself 'Gisken Aldra is going to be engaged to Suzy Woodacre?' You didn't, did you? I'm ready for a second big surprise in 24 hours, if I'll be completely honest with you."

"You keep talking about Suzy. Could you possibly give an answer to any of these questions, at all, that doesn't mention her or what you did last night?"

"Yes. It wouldn't be engaging and you wouldn't want to quote it."

11:45am - Saturday 10th October 2009

Meanwhile, the mood at Justin Wood's press conference was more serious; more focused; more... oh.

"As you know, Justin, there was a big media storm earlier today when Giskra Aldra proposed to their girlfriend. This came as a complete surprise and, as I'm sure you can understand, has diverted everyone's attention from the final round of games. Do you have anything to say about the situation?"

"I'm not concerned with what other people on other teams are doing, only with the people on my team. Gionata, Aaron, Jaclyn, Georgia - these people are my concern. Not some Squornshelan teenager who gets herself into a new headline every three or four days."

"Aldra's pronouns are they/them, if you weren't aware...?"

"Yeah. I said it's not my concern."

"This isn't only a must-win game for the Polytechnic Institute, because the Unicorn could all but seal their place in the IFCF for the first time in seven years with a win today. Can you do it?"

"I think we all know that the end-of-season Poly isn't the start-of-season Poly. They've repeatedly stalled to draws, often losses, and I think we'll be able to easily pick them off. Who's the talk of the town today? Not any of my folk. We're all focused on the game."

"Now, I know you must have done a bit of team planning, what with Peter Walker being suspended for today's..."

"Stop talking bullshit. The suspension was overturned and that yellow card the other day was manifestly unjust. That was never an obvious foul, never. Maybe an accident, but obvious? No, no, no."

"Do you have anything to say to Gisken and Suzy about their upcoming marriages?"

"No. It's a free country. I'm just thankful they're acting like it rather than being scared."

"It's being reported that Aldra's marriage is going to be able to take place in Saint Eleanor as they're non-binary, so technically it's not a same-sex marriage. This is what one top judge has said. Do you have any thoughts on this?"

"Good. Mitcham's too conservative on this sort of thing."

3pm (and its consequences) - Saturday 10th October 2009

The day's games started well enough, with a light flurry of goals. Athletic somehow found three in the first twenty minutes against Newbanks, which somehow ended the title race before it even began. Celestia were only one up against Aegis, but gave them a better pounding than the final scoreline suggested. Indy had gotten a goal ruled out against Good Hope Club, although not by Jon Harp, rotting on the bench as ever. Olympic's visit to Army was the exception, but you wouldn't be surprised to hear that.

This leaves us with the two major forecasts of the day. The forecast for Grand Beach was gloomy, despite Esther Vaughan giving them an early ray of sunshine, one that would have taken them clear of the Poly; Olympia Woodward, that other great young striker, got the equaliser and was dreadfully unlucky not to have won that penalty. Meanwhile, the Polytechnic were struggling a bit. They had gone one down thanks to Gionata Mariani, legend that he is, but Beatrix Hillman-Tower gave them a lifeline late in the first half. Both teams were all square at the break, but the Seasiders had the advantage.

Suddenly, they didn't. Thanks, Bill Wood, who nudged his way in from a corner kick of dubious veracity. And then they did. Thanks, Alexandra, twice over. So, step forward a few people. Firstly, James Benson, who was sensible enough to trip Bill Wood. And secondly...

Gisken Aldra themselves. They negotiated a bit and ended up getting the free kick, right there, 25 yards out with about thirty seconds to go. Then they curled it up and over the wall, possibly intending for Beatrix again, maybe Êber Tóxo. As it turned out, it ended up going past even Georgia Wood. And so everyone at the Poly - not least Aldra - became very, very happy, verging on deliverious. The Grand Beach was left deserted.

The heavy rain kept falling and falling and falling on all but a grateful few. Nate Jenkins resigned. Vaughan told everyone she wanted out. Tim Brandon didn't go that far, but was angry at everyone involved. Darren Smith was sacked, as all good Aegis managers are. Alessio Lombardo said he was mad, without acting like it. Justin Wood congratulated himself on not totally shitting the bed. Natalie Monaco very publicly disagreed. Gisken Aldra celebrated, had a couple of cans of beer in public, and witnessed as their entire team got rewarded in all sorts of ways. Mike Adamson himself said he'd stick around as a coach for a few years, while a new manager was found. A just reward for a just man.

11:59pm - Thursday 31st December 2009

Buckhead did, at least, have a nice, open Common Field going for it. There was still a bit of snow underfoot, as would be expected, but the stage had been set long after that had fallen and temperatures had picked up a bit. Normally, the wedding photographer is its own expense, but most footballers in the League don't exactly need one, as the press is there to cover everything.

As was the form, Woodacre wore a nice, flowy white dress of the kind she had no right to afford, and a more sensible pair of shoes than you'd expect, for obvious reasons. Aldra wore exactly the same clothes as they did when they proposed a few months earlier. And there was a priest of some sort, in his usual garb, trying his very best not to make this look too Evangelical.

"Do you, Gisken Aldra, take Suzy Woodacre to be your lawfully-wedded wife?"

"I do!"

"And do you, Suzy Woodacre, take Gisken Aldra to be your lawfully-wedded partner?"

"Yes. I do."

"Very well. You may now kiss the bride."

How lucky must these two women have been? Suzy has a job she likes that keeps her afloat. Gisken found their feet, kept their club in the top flight. They got married on the stroke of a new decade and fell in love with each other, at last, just as the fireworks went off. For once, the Eleanorian working class was back on top.

The morning of Friday 1st January 2010

Suffice to say that no less a man as Liam West himself was befuddled by these latest developments, or at least he was when he took an unscheduled break from the corner shop he helped run to show his wife the paper. "Hmmm... TENTH HEAVEN! Could they not have thought of a better headline, Cici?"

"Well, yes, but it's important for them. Gisken could earn more money in the future, for another club. Suzy could get some managerial responsibility. That, and you're both working at the convenience store."

"Not the same one, love. Come on."

The morning of Wednesday 13th January 2010

Aldra had their faults with The Reporter - they thought it was a bit too gossipy and that The Journal, the trusted local newspaper, had far better reporting about most matters. She decided that the back-page headline of the day was too tempting to ignore, however. "ALDRA MARRIED TO NEW CONTRACT... Gisken Aldra has said they are 'more than grateful' after they secured a $28,000 salary for the upcoming year, a 40% increase on their debut season. The 19-year-old star - who has spoken openly about their struggle to pay for their New Year's wedding with Suzy Woodacre, 21, and other personal expenses - originally asked for up to $35,000..."

"Well, I did ask for 35,000. I didn't tell anyone outside the club, though. The new manager really needs to start getting to the root of all of these leaks."

"You're lucky, Gissy. I'm only on 24 grand."

"We're both lucky. Anyway, I make that just over $4,000 a month between us. That's $3,000 after the household bills and everything. You're still paying off the loan from the wedding, so that's $300..."

"So they aren't your struggles? You could have told me(!)"

"When I promised you we'd live our life together, that didn't mean having the same weirdly nail-on-the-head sense of sarcasm. But yes. $2,700 after that, headmath says... $150 a week shopping... $2,100 after shopping. At least we don't have to pay tax here. So we spend half our income on what we need and the other half, we can do whatever we want with it, I suppose. Where to next?"

"Please. We are not going on a foreign holiday until 2012."

Updates from the Saint Eleanor League

Charles Trump Shield 2003: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2003 - full accounting

The 2003 Showcase

IFCF 2003 [14] - retrospective on Eleanorian clubs

Charles Trump Shield 2004: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2004 - full accounting

The 2004 Showcase

IFCF 2004 [15] - retrospective on Eleanorian clubs

Exandra Davies' guide to South Jolbonopolis

Charles Trump Shield 2005: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2005 - full accounting

The 2005 Showcase

IFCF 2005 [16] - retrospective on Eleanorian clubs

Ohhhh I think that I've found myself a cheerleader

Charles Trump Shield 2006: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL 2006 - full accounting

The 2006 Showcase

IFCF 2006 [17] - Esther, Queen of Fashion

Charles Trump Shield 2007: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

Play It As It Lays

Charity Cup 2008: Saint Eleanor's second-best U18 cup!

SEL (and Showcase) 2008 - full accounting

Charles Trump Shield 2009: Saint Eleanor's best U18 cup!

SEL (and Showcase) 2009 - full accounting

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