World Cup 94 [roleplays]

[Turori]

TURORI NATIONAL ✓

@TuroriNat

The Turori National Team got their #WC94Q winning ways back on track with a strong 4-0 victory over a free-falling team from Kewlz. It was the first shutout of the cycle for 18 year old Eelandii Academy goalkeeper Terasin Moravuao (1/2)

#WC94Q - #AmatopaWall - #Group5

@TuroriNat

-@TuroriNat

Things were not as straight forward at Eels Park when the Turori NT hosted the confusingly combined group of Cheetahs and Reptiles who managed to frustrate the Turorian attackers for the better part of 90 minutes. However the Eels would keep the pressure on and would finally find a way through in stoppage time where Trenian Omalizo scored the 91st minute winner to add to yet another shutout victory for Derizi Amatopa. (2/3)

@TuroriNat

-@TuroriNat

With just one game remaining in #WC94Q, The Turori National Team will have the chance to cross the 50 point barrier in Macbon on the final matchday of qualification before shifting their focus to preparing for the World Cup Finals. (3/3)

 Turori 4 - 0 Kewlz	
	Turori Goals:	:: 7' Lumlao Noauryua:: 11' Nua'oma Aikiki:: 23' Biliki Rona'atu'i:: 25' Cuoabaza Orani’aoa           
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 62%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 6 :: Kewlz :: Possession: 38%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 4
	Turori Lineup :: 	Terasin Moravuao, Karek Edgeli (Kala'a Yuliizala 70'), Amakli Inuro'o, Biliki Rona'atu'i (Trenian Omalizo 73'), Planio’o Nrujsa, Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, Kiidallen Aeroluzzi (H’munao Cagomia 45'), Lumlao Noauryua (Tulaki Rauogba 73'), Naraiza Ruaplal, Nua'oma Aikiki, Loala Inkabu (Lutara Makakio 70')

 Turori 1 - 0 Cheetahs and reptiles coalison	
	Turori Goals:	:: 91' Trenian Omalizo              
	Stats :: Turori 	:: Possession: 57%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 5 :: Cheetahs and reptiles coalison :: Possession: 43%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 8
	Turori Lineup :: 	Derizi Amatopa, Karek Edgeli, Amakli Inuro'o, Moumouni Verre'elali (Loala Inkabu 61'), Biliki Rona'atu'i, Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, Naraiza Ruaplal (Planio’o Nrujsa 62'), Kinabo Telioa (Trenian Omalizo 61'), Nua'oma Aikiki (Lumlao Noauryua 60'), Turakia Diijelhma (H’munao Cagomia 60')

[Cardenao]

Mihaly sat in silence as shocked murmurs filled the room.

“Hello darlings,” had barely stopped echoing as the delegates in attendance scrambled to determine what to do now, but no sort of ceremony could have prepared anyone for Emperor Boston striding through those doors a few seconds ago.

Mihaly half-chuckled to himself.

‘Of course’ he thought, of course the Bostopians would make an appearance and of course it would be as dramatic as you could imagine. Mihaly wasn’t as surprised as everyone else appeared to be, his dealings with Bostopia and The Duke had always been fairly pleasant if somewhat fever-dreamy in nature and had prepared him to try and expect the unexpected. But here, now, Emperor Boston at these talks? At this time of the year, at this time of day, at this part of Koroa City, localized entirely within the Royal Convention Center? What could possibly come out of this??

It became crystal clear that the situation was far more complicated than any of them, or at least Mihaly had realized. The best thing he could do now would be to do…nothing. For now there was nothing for him to do here except see how the situation developed in this new angle, a moment for Cardenao may yet come. As his mind tried to process everything occurring, Mihaly realized how the Bostopian presence might yet come to Cardenao’s advantage.

Who cares about some military exercise around an uninhabited island, who cares about a base being built when the Bostopians were in town and very clearly up to something. What that something is, is far more interesting than anything Cardenao was up to.

Mihaly discreetly flagged down a random staff member and asked for them to find him a Dark n Stormy, might as well enjoy the ride!

---

Salazaar's Service (Part I)


Sector 7
The Ochre Islands

‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, FUCK’

“Something’s not right, I can’t get the message off!”

“Move over,” the cigarette smoking man yelled, “We don’t have time for this!”

The radio technician opened his mouth to argue that he was the expert so he should be trying to diagnose the problem but was stopped as a massive boom rattled the small shack they were in, causing one of the riflemen to yell out.

“Quiet Lenny it’s just thunder dammit!” the man shouted through his cigarette as he worked on the radio, picking up the transmitter and hitting the airwaves, “This is Sector 7 calling HQ, communications have been down for two hours now, what is the situation, over!”

Static filled his ear. The sergeant smoked as he unplugged the transmitter and plugged it back in, repeating his statement. Then, he heard it. It was faint at first, buried deep in the whitenoise and garbled static but definitely there and definitely growing louder.A high pitched buzzing across several bandwidths, almost like a bee in flight.

BOOM. More thunder as lightning cracked across the Ochren sky, illuminating the night even as it glowed red with lava. Lenny cried out again and Sergeant Salazaar wheeled around to face him.

“Dammit Lenny we’ve been hearing it for a while, ain’t nothing new so make yourself useful and haul ass to Left-enant Dilange’s position, tell him the radio is down and it might be interference. Go, NOW!”

He got up, pulling Lenny up off the wooden floor and over to the door, “Run fast kid, we need you more than Chímo Ventura right now.”

"I'm on it!" The boy from Salmenca smiled hearing the name of his football hero and took off, running to the Left-enant as fast as he could. Neil Dilang had requested notice of anything unusual…well anything more unusual than the massive waves going out to sea, or the clouds that seemed to have taken on a life of their own, or now, the lightning storms arcing through the volcanic eruptions. The Ochre Islands were alive and the Cardenaos were seriously freaked out, but thanks to cigarette smoking Sergent Salazaar, they held their nerve at their stations. They were not the only such Cardenaoan posted across the island; small contingents of soldiers had been ordered to take these posts after Cardenao’s beach landing on the Ochre Islands.

What they were officially doing there was a good question, one that would never be answered even if you were brave or stupid enough to ask out loud.

Sergeant Salazaar tried the radio again, and again, and again once more as they waited for young Lenny to return and when he did…

The kid slammed through the door, totally out of breath but motioning for them to follow him.

“Lenny, what the hell is your deal?”

“You have to follow me, they’re fucking here!”

“What?? Who? Left-enant Dilange?” Sergeant Salazaar sputtered out as they raced to the cliffs above the sea.

“He had to make a phone call!” Private Lenny shot back, confusing the Sergeant even more.

They arrived at the bluff overlooking the sea, Sergeant Salazaar stopped in shock with the cigarette falling out of his mouth in what felt like slow motion.

Naval vessels as far as the eye could see, all sizes and sorts. Landing craft being prepared.

An invasion force.

[Brookstation]

The concept of destiny fascinates us. According to early Brook scholars, “destiny” was the absolute force controlling our lives or in other words there is no possible way to break out of this realm in which we are caught. Obviously enough, this thought sparked in society and as society developed with time, the belief that everyone’s life has been destined to follow a certain path since the very day he is born, has become prevalent in Brook society, even making its way into quite a few religious beliefs as well.

Funnily, society is such that it has the power to evolve at a rapid rate which makes it all the more interesting for us to observe. This very concept of “destiny” was soon discarded after the scientific and industrial reformation of society. But it leaves us with the most important question. Irrespective of what the scientific explanation behind this concept might be, does the concept of destiny actually make sense? If we consider, the very current situation of the World Cup Qualifiers, then we make a clear observation. This is going to be the sixth encounter between the two Pavolan nations, a bit too much of a co incidence to be called one?

Considering that Brookstation is playing only its seventh cycle, the fact that the two nations have faced each other in three cycles already is pretty surprising right? So it leaves us with a question, is it destiny at play here? Let’s leave aside the topic of Nyowani Kitara as an opponent for the moment. Even then, we come to a striking observation here. Is it Brookstation’s destiny to fail as a footballing nation, having reached close every single time, just to lose out in the final iteration? Ever since World Cup 91, when Brookstation shocked the entire world by making it to the playoffs as a seventh seed nation, ill fate has always surrounded Brookstation when the question of qualifying to the World Cup is considered. Following a disappointing knockout in the playoffs (ironically to Nyowani Kitara itself), Brookstation was faced with two consecutive fourth place finishes, just a few points behind the third placed team.

World Cup 94 was the platform to introduce a change, a change which could potentially reflect its results but unfortunately destiny came to play once again. The team saw the introduction of their first ever international manager, the experienced Liangde He from Naixi. Almost immediately after his arrival, He got into work and introduced quite a few new faces in the squad, all of whom were able to have a successful stint this far. But was there any point of all this changes or all the hard work that went behind making the journey such a successful affair? We are afraid but the answer is no. We have entered the trance and have come under the grasp of destiny yet once again and sadly enough, there is no way out. Nyowani Kitara has been dominant, it has to be appreciated. Twelve straight wins in the group is indeed a remarkable a stint for any nation for that matter and the breathtaking form of Nyowani Kitara is enough to bring Brookstation’s journey to a standstill, an affair surrounded by doubts. It was a date with destiny.

x---------------------------------------------------x

Liangde He lit up another cigarette, by the time he had easily lost count of the number of cigarettes he had smoken that day. It was just his first year and although he had been looking forward to a successful campaign, he least expected such a situation, a situation which occurs once in a blue moon in the world of sports. He had no clue about what was going to happen next but he knew one thing; his boys won’t disappoint him. The thought of getting up and addressing the squad crossed his mind several times but he doubt that would be of any help at all. He had given a lot of strict lectures to the squad only to later realize that it would end up being completely useless. He just stared at the sky, at the cloudy weather, from the stands of the Pop Smoke Stadium. He knew there was something big in works, something which would change the course of his career. He had to embrace it. He threw his cigarette before stamping it to ashes and then proceeded to leave the stadium.

The day had just begun.

[Graintfjall]

After about 3 posts we have predictably exhausted my stock of FIFA 94 trivia, so instead, as we come to the end, I leave you with, from 1994, the final song of the final gig by the greatest band of all time, Uncle Tupelo.

Thank you to everyone for participating in the sometimes gruelling and frustrating experience that is WC qualifiers. The majority of you are leaving us now; we hope to see the majority of you who have been cranking out roleplays to the last minute (or last minute + 20) either in the WC finals or Cup of Harmony.

Final RP cutoff.

(Koronovia's first RP was counted, their second was not.)

[Sylestone]

The Sylestonean > Sport > Football > World Cup Qualifiers

In our latest World Cup Qualifier preview for tonight's game between Sargossa and Sylestone, there was a line that stated this: "'for now a draw will be enough for the Corsairs to pip the Sentients...", and an entire paragraph malding about the fact that their predicted draw would send Sargossa through to the qualifying playoffs. That editor has since been flushed down the local Sentient Toilet and applications are currently open for a new Sports Editor. To apply, please send your CV through to thesylestonean@pmail.com, with history in journalism, knowledge in sports and a six-year-old's understanding of how a points system works all necessary for consideration.

[Kharakia]

Kharakia Lose Paterie Derby

Kharakia lost the Paterie Derby at home against United Hawkland, even without Hawklandian fans in the stands. It was truly a sad day, which saw United Hawkland come back to win 4-3 in the last 10 minutes. But hey, we had some positives. Síer rumbled to a hat-trick and Barnes made his debut for the NT, so that's really good.

Kharakia 3-4 United Hawkland
Fremíer Síer (3, 19, 80); Duane Robledo (14), Vincent Telerman (40, 81, 90)

The Kharakian Futëvolo Asosiatorak (Football Association) had this to say after the loss:
"It's unfortunate that we lost, and it certainly is unfortunate that Hawklandian fans were not allowed to come see their favorite team play. We need to keep politics out of football, and as a result of this denial of Hawklandian fans to enter our country when their National Team could, we [The KFA] are electing to lift the embargo on Hawklandian players in the 1 League and 2 League. Hopefully this will help start the process of healing our two broken nations together, and help Kharakians and Hawklandians alike in realizing that the beautiful game should be used to bring countries together, not tear them apart."

A wave of immigrants from Hinodejin has suddenly hit the Kharakian Isles, with many players being entered into the draft. The cause of the sudden wave is unknown, but apparently the players want to play in Kharakia over Hinodejin because of the "easier time to prove themselves". Kind of disrespectful, but at least we'll have a lot more draft prospects for the upcoming draft, which will feature at least 10 Hinodejin players! Thiswill hopefully help the promotion of Kharakian football internationally.

Other News

Many other things have happened in the time since our last edition, including a small conflict unfortunately starting in our home region of Anaia. However, The Kharakian Isles appear to be staying out of the conflict, and our SECDEF has declared they will only defend, not attack.

Some newspapers in United Hawkland have not taken kindly to Hawklandian citizens in Kharakia (on work/school visas of course) being abused, assaulted, and even killed due to their Hawklandian background. The Kharakian FA does not support this behavior, and they ask that if you see Hawklandians in places such as stadiums, the Hall of Fame, or any other places, that you refrain from doing anything negative to them. If you can't resist insulting them, then simply make an attempt to ignore them.

Interview with Fremíer Síer

We were able to get an interview with the man himself, Fremíer Síer. Here's what we asked and what he had to say:

Q: "What a game! Despite the loss, how did the hat trick feel?"
A: "It felt amazing, like I was the king of the world. Then they came back, and I don't feel like that anymore. I feel like **** [crap]. The team comes first, and the fact we loss is eating me from the inside. I should have been better."

Q: "Barnes had his debut, what's it like playing on the pitch with a new player?"
A: "Everybody settles eventually, and no offense to Barnes, but I think that he hasn't settled yet. I believe the pressure got to him, especially since he knew he was going to come on, and sat for 70 minutes. I think it was a dumb decision to tell him pre-game, because it made him more nervous, and that caused him to play bad later."

Q: "What's your opinion on the issue with Hawklandians?"
A: "I haven't gotten into that stuff much, but I did hear from him [Ta'a Kan] that the FA lifted the embargo. That's one huge step forward.

Q: "All the time we see players who show lots of promise, but then fail later. Do you think that might happen with Vinny Lokast?"
A: "We can't say that for certain. We're all expecting great things of him, and maybe he'll be the first notable player abroad, but we can't put too much pressure on him. We'll have to wait and see."

Q: "Is your brother [Jordan Síer] being on a team in the 1 League [Burners FC], created a nice little rivalry for you to be better than him?"
A: "I always want to be great, but Jordan is a much different player than I am. You may compare us, and you may think one of us is better, but truthfully him even making it is great. Many people don't."

Q: "Can you speak about the extremely low amount of cards Kharakian players receive, both internationally and domestically?"
A: "Well, in the academies, we learn that fouls are bad, and so we don't commit them as much. This will also most likely be instilled in young players who come here from abroad."

[Jeruselem]

Princess Stella Annabelle Dallas (naked) and Miko Takahash aka Princess Miko (naked) for Naked News Jeruselem

Stella:
Hello, this is Princess Stella Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem once again covering the World Cup 94. We haven't qualified yet ... but we're in the playoff. Our opponent is Yuezhou, an Asian team. Because of the complete lack of Asians here, I have our researcher Princess Miko here. She's not an actual princess but anyway. I kinda needed her to get this segment done because I'm useless reading Asian scripts.

Miko: Hello everyone
Stella: So our opponent is Yuezhou, which is a evidently an Asian name. And yes, they are actually Asian - and pretty much like Chinese. Saying that, not completely.
Miko: Yes, we can explain that later.
Stella: To recap the qualifiers, we finished 3rd in Group on 40 points with 13 wins, 1 draw and 6 losses. Yuezhou finished 2nd in Group 13 with 41 points with 12 wins, 5 draws and 3 losses. In fact, The Holy Empire was dumped out of the World Cup because Yuezhou beat them in the 2nd last round!
Miko: Yes, on that record both teams are evenly matched mainly because how playoffs are determined.
Stella: Even goal difference wasn't much different. Jeruselem scored 45 goals, conceding 29. Yuezhou scored 50 goals conceding ... 29. So that's little difference.
Miko: The only real difference is we had far more losses and they drew more games.

Stella: Yuezhou have a mixed team, like we do. We're ranked 38, they are ranked 36. We do have a ... overly complicated flag, they have three blue stripes with two yellow ones. That's a difference! They do have a female manager like us. They do have a lot of Nepharans in the team for some reason. We do have Asians in our team too so we have that in common.
Miko: It's like they are a similar team in general at the same world ranking.
Stella: They call themselves the Dragons, the thing on our flag. Interesting
Miko: Dragons are sacred creature in Asian mythology, makes sense.
Stella: Actually, the dragon on our flag is Wyvern. It's really nothing like the Asian dragons. I just call it a Dragon because most people have no idea what a Wyvern is.
Miko: Oh yes, it's your family crest. It's still not a friendly creature.

Stella: Dragons vs Princesses! Don't sound right does it.
Miko: True, but Jeruselem have proven we're not here for our looks. Maybe we are but not the national team.
Stella: Anyway, most people can't spell Wyvern ..
Miko: There are still notable differences between the teams
Stella: Yes, the team setup between the two is so different. We don't have all those extra assistant managers and they do seem to have a lot of extra players. We just have one manager who managers everything which sounds kinda awful, there is an assistant manager but all they do is follow orders.
Miko: I think we don't want to be paying for all those extra people to be transported around on overseas trips

Stella: Yes well, local teams don't send off the team overseas every 2nd game so there's that. It's not the wages, it's just annoying logistics to having to constantly move people around.
Miko: I guess it's like parents having to go on holidays with lots of kids ...
Stella: I guess so, being in a family who has lots of kids ...
Miko: That's because your family is full of nymphos
Stella: Yes, there's that too. I'm sure the folks in Yuezhou don't have that issue.
Miko: I'm sure nymphos are everywhere.

Stella: We aren't going analyse how Yuezhou play football and how Jeruselem can beat them because ... eh, I'm not exactly qualified for that one.
Miko: Don't ask me, I got no idea.
Stella: Still, it's amazing two random teams in playoff are so similar
Miko: Well, we could have been playing the Holy Empire instead which we know is a completely different team and nation to us
Stella: We have crap record against them
Miko: We have to say the fact the Holy Empire was eliminated by Yuezhou means they aren't to be taken for granted.

Stella: And, one more thing. The GOLDEN TICKET has been found and ... verified. The winner has been informed but we'll not publish their name here. But we haven't said what the actual prize was.
Miko: Yeah, what's with that one.
Stella: The winner of the Golden Ticket gets an all paid family trip to see the World Cup 94 finale, regardless who is in it because it's not terribly likely we will be there from past efforts. And THIS TWO OUNCE OFFICIAL JERUSELEM WORLD CUP 94 GOLD COIN (shows off large Gold coin)
Miko: So that's you were hiding.
Stella: Actually, not this one ... but one of these without my fingerprints on it. There's only 94 of these made, yeah I know 94 for World Cup 94. This one is just a replica because the real thing are really expensive.
Miko: That's still a heavy coin.

Stella: 24 carat, none of this plated silver crap.
Miko: Better than silver plated copper.
Stella: So the winners will be getting one of these. For security purposes we will not disclose their identities.
Miko: Good idea.
Stella: That's it from me, err Annabelle out.
Miko: Err yeah, Miko out. See you all later.

[Krytenia]

Royal Convention Centre, Krytenian Quarter, Koroa City
now

"Hello darlings."

The unexpected appearance of Emperor Boston had thrown the Krytenian delegation right off their stride. Sarah Finch sat there wide-eyed, muttering "...impossible..." under her breath. Penelope Baker, trying desperately to maintain composure, raised her eyebrows slightly and let out a single "What".

Stephen Armfield's reaction, however, was to sprint out of the room. To be fair, this wasn't his reaction to the summit's surprise guest, but to the note he had been handed.

---

KNV Avidia, somewhere in the Ocean of Ayes
a few minutes prior
"Captain, incoming transmission from HARRIS 2."
"Patch it through, Lieutenant." Captain Frank Morello was unsurprised that the transmission was imminent. By his estimation, the HARRIS (High Altitude Recording, Reconnaissance, Intelligence and Surveillance) aircraft launched from the mainland would be somewhere in the range of the Ochres by now.
"Avidia, this is HARRIS 2. We have visual of the Ochres. Sort of."
"...sort of?"
"Affermative. There seems to be some sort of atmospheric event happening. We can't see the islands themselves; it appears there is a large localised thunderstorm. In addition, Fire Island appears to be going off. A thick cloud of ash and electrical activity has enveloped the entire area."
"Can you get closer?"
"Negative. Cloud appears to be too dense to get any useful intel...wait, something is happening."
"What's happening down there, HARRIS?"
"The cloud appears to be rising, Avidia."
"So, it's spreading out. Any of our vessels in the path?"
"Well...that's the thing, Avidia. It's not expanding outwards, just upwards."
"Like a wall? Is there something stopping it from expanding outwards?"
"Not as (static) -ell, Avidia. It app- (static) -fecting our inst- (static) -etting thicker. Aborting re- (static) -ase?"
"HARRIS? HARRIS? Is everything OK up there?"
A brief period of silence followed.
"We have turned around now, Avidia. Mission abort, repeat, mission abort. Particulates above safe operating levels."
"Understood, HARRIS. Safe travels."

---

Crazy Craig's Krytenian Takeaway and High Consulate, Bellflower, Ochre Islands
A few more minutes prior
Dave Corbin looked to the skies outside the front door of the takeaway. Normally, he'd be behind the counter taking orders, but the political situation had done a number on customer footfall. "Weather's coming in", he called back to the cook in the back. A middle-aged woman passing by heard his comment and walked over.
"It's not weather, y'know."
Dave was slightly taken aback by the eavesdropper. "Sorry, what?"
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Name's Laura. And I've seen this before."
Dave raised an eyebrow. "Go on..."
"I'm guessing you're not local?"
Dave pointed at the sign. "Yeah, Krytenian isn't just a theme for the cuisine. I'm from a city there called Dereapolis. Nice place, bit quiet."
"Oh, you poor soul. I don't think your Prime Minister has any idea what's about to happen. Not your fault - not hers either."
"Yeah, I'm gonna need some context here."
"Those clouds. They say when the Ochres are in times of crisis and peril, the Gods themselves will protect the islands. A wall of fire and ash. Nothing can get in, nothing can get out."
"Sounds a bit preposterous to me," Dave said, as the sky continued to darken.
Laura shook her head. "You Krytenians, always with your heads looking down into your devices. You don't realise. The world is alive, and the Islands particularly so. Trust me, there are dark times ahead, figuratively and literally." She glanced at the sky again. "I fear it is too late for you to escape. Be safe, Krytenian."
And with that, Laura walked off.

Dave walked back into the takeaway, proceeding to the back to place an order of fresh spices with his suppliers in Port Scaddock. He picked up the phone, dialled the number...and got static. He tried another number on the mainland. Same thing. A third. Static again.
Well, this is bloody ominous, he mused, as the afternoon sky turned to a cloying starless midnight.

[Gnejs]

…or else it gets the hose again.

Sverker Danielsson walked with a spring in his step. The last few days and weeks had been exciting. While he, Valdemar and the boys down at Digital Analysis had been all alone in the Troll Hunt for some time, everything had changed now, and it was the Anti-Clentin-riots that did it. A strange coalition of neo-nazis, boat-owners with red trousers, holistic healers and elderly Cracquet aficionados had rallied all over the Union - from Finntorp to Esaias - to heed a call of insurrection that had emerged as suddenly, and gone viral as rapidly, as a herpes infection at a silent yoga retreat. Up to four bus stops had been brutally vandalized, and now The Constabulary was finally onboard.

PUFF had been instrumental in bringing their new hunting colleagues up to speed. Mostly the boys down at Digital Analysis perhaps, but Sverker had truly been an asset as well. He loved it. Being a Detective Constable had been a lifelong dream of his, and it was so thrilling getting to work with the real deal. The Constabulary was focusing on the “Foreign Element”, as they called it, meaning they devoted their resources to tracking down the Troll Army pumping all that unfiltered hatred out into the ether. While not an unsound priority, Sverker felt like they had too haphazardly dismissed his insistence on chasing down leads on, what he called, the “Domestic Element”. Because, even though these professional Trolls did the things they do somewhere far Off-Rock, the key to all of this was surely to be found On-Rock; on behalf of whom was the Troll trolling? That was the real question.

But no worries, because the combined investigative powers of The Constabulary and PUFF could do two things at once. Let Detective Constable Edelgranath do the Foreign trail, and Sverker would do the Domestic one. And that was why he was down there in Esaias. It all started with the boys down at Digital Analysis looking closer into the origins of frequent commentary that seemed legitimately Unionite. There were quite a few, but one particular World-Wide-Web Protocol Address stood out, namely one attached to an inconspicuous row-house on the east side of Esaias. Now, don’t ask Sverker how the boys did that kind of pinpointing, because he couldn’t tell you the first thing about it. Granted, he was quite proficient with the Office-Package, but the kind of computational wizardry the boys down at Digital were up to was way beyond him. It really was a shame all they did at PUFF was run the Instapound account.

The most exciting thing about it all was who that row-house belonged to though; none other than Dandelion (currently injured, but still) Göran Drake! How cool was that? Sverker actually kind of knew him from his old footballing days. “Knew” might be stretching it a bit, but they almost played each other one time when Sverker warmed the bench for Kejm BK’s second team ten (fifteen) or so years ago. It seemed strange that Drake - a Dandelion - would be such a prominent part of the Anti-Clentin movement, but Sverker supposed he had his reasons. Either way, Sverker was certain the Lokomotiv Esaias midfielder could hold some answers that would push him further towards untangling this case.

Sverker felt good. He had fully internalized his “undercover Detective Constable” persona, complete with letting his hair grow long, sporting a thick, dark mustache and exclusively wearing plain, unassuming clothing; a simple unbuttoned shirt, worn jeans and a new dark leather jacket. He could blend in with any gritty urban environment out there, but in all honesty he did look slightly out of place in suburban Esaias.

It was somewhat annoying though, that the pressure to solve the Troll Problem had lessened a bit after the riots. Because it had, to be fair. It was like the hot hateful air in the Anti-Clentin-ballon fizzled out the days after the riots; almost like people suddenly just awoke from some sort of trance, started looking back and feeling suitably ashamed of themselves. The fact that the intensity of the Troll material being pushed died out likely played a part as well, because almost overnight the tidal wave subsided. The boys had hypothesized that whoever was funding the Troll Army ran out of money. A bit anticlimactic actually, Sverker thought, but c’est la vie or whatever they say down on the Continent. Besides, it was still relevant to find the responsible party and bring them Justice.

But it was a good day whichever way you looked at it. Despite all the drama, Coach Clentin and his Dandelions were putting up a most convincing performance in the Qualifications, and with a couple of games yet to be played they still had a chance to snatch the group’s AutoQualification spot. Imagine that: The Union qualifying for the World Cup. The prophecy fulfilling itself right before their eyes; All hail the Prophet! All hail The Lord of The Sixth Sex Stave (or something to that effect).

The problem with inconspicuous row-houses on the east side of Esaias is the difficulty of distinguishing them from one another, especially when they insist on not making use of house numbers. So it took a while to locate the right one. Longer than Sverker cared to admit, but he finally found it in the end. Göran Drake was as nonchalantly handsome as ever, with that flowing black mane of hair and those piercing grey eyes. And he was friendly too! He invited Sverker to come in and have a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine, even if it was before noon; they are so very continental down there) and promised to help answer any questions to the best of his ability. So Sverker entered, accepted a glass of wine (he was in the south, after all) and started wandering the row-house as Drake excused himself to sort out a few practicalities. It was a nice house; neat. Suitably trendy, but never flashy. After having gone through every room on the first floor, he ventured up the stairs. A bathroom (nice), a bedroom (a bit sterile, but still, nice) and a library of sorts. The library was less tidy than the rest of the house. There were bits and pieces of paper lying all over the place and an excessive amount of computer screens. Sverker looked closer, and it seemed every single piece of paper contained nothing but the repeated phrase “Die Enda Die '', and tucked away over by one of the bookshelves was a mannequin with a severed head dressed in a Representatives’ Home Team uniform. Sverker didn't know what to make of it all, but he didn't get much time to ponder over it, because all of a sudden he started feeling woozy, and then everything turned dark.

…

It was still dark when Sverker regained consciousness, but not pitch black. There was a faint light coming from above, and it lightly illuminated his surroundings. He seemed to be positioned at the bottom of a circular stone structure, almost like an old well. He had a hammering headache and his vision was all fuzzy. When he touched his face he realized he was wearing glasses. Sverker picked up a tin cup he found lying by his side, and it was almost like another man was looking back at him. His appearance had been altered. The tin cup showed a bespectacled and clean-shaven man, spotting a prominent forehead and receding hairline. The round, thick-rimmed glasses looked familiar, and suddenly it hit him: staring back at him was no other than Enda Clentin. Or, that was probably the intention, but to be completely honest the execution wasn't exactly topnotch, and it kind of looked like Sverker Danielsson had dressed up as Enda Clentin for All Hallows Eve (but top marks for effort, with the shaving, the right kind of spectacles and so on and so forth).

Suddenly, a voice - a familiar southron drawl - spoke to him from way above.

«It is Enda Clentin now, the valleyman currently coaching the Dandelion national football team,» it said.

«What?» Sverker exclaimed surprised.

«It is Enda Clentin now, and it calls up PUFF to tell them it is resigning.» the voice continued.

«Excuse me, what?» Sverker shouted with a hint of trepidation in his voice.

«It is Enda Clentin now. It calls up PUFF to tell them it is resigning, or else it gets the hose.»

«What!?!»

And it was around this time that Sverker started suspecting something about this whole situation was seriously off.

...

The familiar and annoying sound of a video call waiting to be responded to echoes through the bottom of ••Enda Clentin’s•• well. And just like that, PUFF Assistant Director of Communications and Public Relations Svea Vichy entered the conference call.

«Sverker? Is that you?» she screamed in excitement.

«I am the valleyman Enda Clentin, currently coaching the Prosaic Union national football team, and I hereby tende…»

«But I can tell it’s you, Sverker! Where have you been? What’s up with the costume? We’ve been looking all over for you, The Constabulary are looking! It’s Göran Drake, Sverker! He’s the Troll Master!!» Svea continued shouting, as she motioned for others to join her at the screen.

«I am the valleyman Enda Clentin, currently coaching the Prosaic Union national football team, and I hereby tender my resignation.»

«The Dandelions are playing their playoff-game tonight! They’re one game away from the World Cup!» Svea shouted, as Valdemar Horn and Detective Constable Sophia Edelgranath appeared beside her on the screen.

«Sverker! Can you tell us anything about your whereabouts? Anything that can help us find you?» Sophia screamed.

«I am the valleyman Enda Clentin, currently coaching the Prosaic Union national football team, and I hereby tende…»

«Snap out of it man! They’re playing Trolleborg! TROLLeborg!! TROLL! It’s all been part of the prophecy; everything makes sense now!! We’ve got the The Ministry of The Interior here right now, Ulvheim is writing messages in shit again and they’re working round the clock to decipher and interpret them,» Valdemar howled and started shaking the screen

And then ••Enda Clentin’s•• screen turned black. He looked up at the light.

«Did it do well?» he asked.

He received no reply. All he could hear was the faint sound of a hose being dragged across the ground.

[TJUN-ia]

Our final goal of this WCQ campaign? Scored by Kim Choi-ya in the 34th minute, of course.

And so...we're out. We already knew that, of course, but the pain certainly hasn't gone away.

We were a contender once...but we don't feel like that anymore.

See you in the battle for 33rd.

GO JAGS!

---

MD1: @República Guanacasteca (73) - Estadio Tiburcio Carías Andino, Estelí D 1-1 (T-3rd)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD2: vs Delte (39) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-1 (T-6th)
MD3: @Aleirave (66) L 1-3 (8th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD4: vs Zwangzug (3) - National Stadium. TJUN-ia City W 1-0 (T-6th)
MD5: @Sharktail (85) - Stadium Biru, Sharktail L 1-4 (7th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD6: vs Kingdom of Castille (232) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town/Portuaria W 5-1 (6th)
MD7: @Torisakia (298) - New Logan Stadium, New Logan W 3-0 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD8: vs Hopal (109) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 4-2 (5th)
MD9: @Ethane (167) W 4-0 (4th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD10: BYE (5th)
MD11: vs Arjunnagar (205) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat W 2-0 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD12: vs República Guanacasteca (73) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 2-1 (4th)
MD13: @Delte (39) - Ildemorton Road, Oswark-upon-Delte L 2-3 (4th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD14: vs Aleirave (66) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville D 1-1 (4th)
MD15: @Zwangzug (3) - ZS^3, Zwischen L 0-3 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD16: vs Sharktail (85) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 0-1 (5th)
MD17: @vs Kingdom of Castille (232) - Jaén FC Stadium, Atocha D 1-1 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD18: vs Torisakia (298) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa L 0-1 (5th)
MD19: @Hopal (109) W 2-0 (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD20: vs Ethane (167) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico D 2-2 (5th)
MD21: BYE (5th)
---------------Boot It!---------------
MD22: @Arjunnagar (205) W 1-0 (5th/9-4-7/31pts/+8GD)

[Sylestone]

Here comes Lucas Recoba on the attack, joined in the centre by Elías Pozo and Mateo Manzanares alongside Adrian Soriano and Milagros Fernán on the wing, the midfield not far behind. You’d think that surely, this is Sargossa’s last chance. They’ve dominated most of the game in from of their home ground at Maturín’s Ciudad Deportiva, but as expected, the Sentients have defended incredibly well, putting that 2-1 loss to the Spartan Dominion in Dunkirk behind them and gone back to playing their best football under Mojmir Anac. Now, the visitors have got to be mere seconds off reaching their second playoff in two cycles if they can shut this attack down…

…after the referee had originally called for six minutes of stoppage time, we are ninety seconds over that, although with several yellow cards dished out over that period of time, there is still enough time left for Sargossa’s last attack to peter out. Every single Sylestonean player is behind the ball now, leaving no room for Pozo and Manzanares to move into - everywhere is blocked out by the white and blue of the Sylestonean away football jersey. But Recoba was a step ahead, tapping the ball between Cameron Keyes and Raphael Brown and directly into paths of Elías Pozo and Hugo Mornington, the pair haring towards each other at an angle of 180 degrees…

…but Pozo gets there first, a superb touch from the 22-year-old Sargossan midfielder taking the ball wide of the Sylestonean captain as the Hesham-based centre back clips his trailing leg, knocking him down to the ground. A whistle, clear as day, cuts through the noise from the stadium as Mornington stares down the face of a yellow card, the clock in the corner of his eye ticking ever closer to the ninth minute of stoppage time…

…Dani Azuaga is lining up to take the free kick just seven or eight metres directly out from the left corner of the penalty box, the entire Sylestone outfit either in the box or part of a mix of bodies on the very edge. It’s at quite a good range for going direct, but surely Azuaga will have done his homework and knows that Ryan Macleay has an excellent track record at saving direct free kicks, with numerous highlights for the Pesfield Trees against set pieces from a similar range for the Pesfield Trees in Sylestone’s League Number One. Is that flowing through the midfielder’s mind at the moment? Or is it pure panic, or calm in the heat of the storm. Taking a deep breath, Azuaga takes a step, another, and a third before placing his left foot next to the ball, his right arched back in preparation for a powerful kick…

..only that he stops it at the last second and passes delicately to his right, where Miguel Alonso lies, who proceeds to knock it onto Adrian Soriano cutting into the box and pressing the stacked Sylestonean defence. A one-two with Elías Pozo and the right wingback is through the first line of defence, as he takes a touch and lines up a shot to Ryan Macleay’s left, the crowd behind the Sylestonean shot stopper holding its collective breath…

…but Soriano never contacted the ball. In front of him, Sylestonean captain fantastic Hugo Mornington’s slide tackle sends the ball spiralling away, out of play behind the sidelines as the small portion of Sylestoneans in the crowd rise as one, arms raised above their heads in sheer jubilation. Sloth-like, the referee lifts his whistle to his lips, basking in the attention of 52,000 pairs of eyes upon him…

…and blows it three times.

And just like that, it was over. Sylestone were through to the playoffs. However, after the intensity in the middle of the Ciudad Deportiva that saw ten yellow cards and a red card over the course of above a hundred minutes of play, no one would quite be the same again. Right up until the final whistle, the match could have gone either way and at countless times, it felt as though one team or the other was going to crack under the pressure, but no - somehow the game remained at equilibrium throughout, withstanding everything both teams threw at it. In the end, it would be the Sentients who would emerge in celebration and the Corsairs who would be facing despair - for the tenth cycle in a row, they would not be qualifying for the World Cup. But for Sylestone, it would be their second playoff qualification in two cycles since returning from the abyss under the watch of Mojmir Anac. Last time, they fell foul to a startlingly aggressive Huayramarca outfit, conceding almost as many goals over just two legs than they did in twenty-two group stage games (eight to nine) but since then, the Sentients have refined their game against such overly destructive attacking lines, although there has not been much to test it against.

Until now. For facing the Sentients is another hyper-aggressive team right up there amongst the best in the world. Hurting after a shock loss to Brookstation cost them an autoqualifying spot, these guys will certainly be out for blood in Háttmark to book their own ticket to the World Cup.

Nyowani Kitara.

Ranked tenth in the multiverse, with a whopping sixty-one goals in twenty games across their campaign. Let’s put that into perspective - the New Kitarans also conceded thirty times. That in itself is more than the amount Sylestone scored and conceded.

Yeah, they’re an aggressive-minded team, alright.

However, there is hope. Funnily enough, Sylestone actually do have a positive record against Nyowani Kitara with a 3-0 victory on neutral venue, although that admittedly did come in a friendly tournament way back before the Rushmori nation were even on the international scene. Moreover, Sylestone have performed admirably in a friendly at Avanaroch against a similarly aggressive side in Tikariot, before they rampaged their group to autoqualify over the likes of Chromatika with a frankly ridiculous seventy-nine goals scored. In that friendly, the Sentients emerged as the losers in a 1-0 result but considering the heroics of the Snowy Owls, losing in that manner to a side not far off full strength is more than admirable.

Can the Sentients go one better against Nyowani Kitara? It will absolutely not be easy, but Anac’s Sentients have now shown they have it in them to control the game against even the best attacking outfits in the multiverse. Will they hold their own, or crumble under the pressure?

We’re going to have to wait to find out that one. In the meantime, uh, you can watch the League Number One? It looks like it might be on the verge of being a top 32 association! Fun times in Sylestonean football!

Sargossa vs Sylestone @ Ciudad Deportiva, Maturín

Sargossa (5-3-2 → 3-5-2): Martínez; Benito (Fernán 83’) - Alonso - Rodríguez ( 88’) - Riesgo ( 86’) (Sanz 90’ ( 90+5’)) - Soriano; Collazo (Azuaga 67’) - (Navarro 83’) - Pozo; Alarcón ( 52’) (Manzanares 67’) - Recoba

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 5-4-1): Macleay ( 90+2’); Cross ( 87’) - Mornington ( 90+8’) - Hand Sanitiser - Keller ( 35’) (Toilet 75’ ( 83’)); Holmes - Brown ( 79’) - Rodway (Paterson 90+2’) - Lawson ( 90’) (Fridge 90+2’); Fleetwood (Keyes 75’); Strathfield (Nutt 46’)

Sargossa 0-0 Sylestone

---

Starting XI vs Nyowani Kitara @ Sanktjakobvöllur, Háttmark, Græntfjall

Macleay; Cross - Mornington - Nutt - Keller; Ryland - Brown - Rodway - Jones; Fleetwood; Strathfield

[Kimi-Suomi]

Kimi-Suomi 2-4 Chromatkia
This was our last dance in the WCQ cycle...and so, we decided to go out with a bang. The Anomalies of Chromatika were in warm-up mode, preparing for the playoffs to come, and so they entered this game looking to get the best feel for what is to come. Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov would manage a brace after only 20 minutes, but we did get a goal back in the 35th thanks to Valtteri Nordström. The 2nd half would end up being more of the same, with a brace from Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov responded to by Jyrki Bottas...who ended up scoring the final goal of our campaign.

We did come home 4th...but a distant P4. Maybe we'll go to the CoH...if the invitation does reach us.

NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

[Dantopia]

dantopia.national.team

Jul 19

Despite the win, the #Lions lose out on their chance to make the #WorldCupQualifyingPlayoffs and their #WorldCupQualifiers are over.

---

---

---

20 JULY 2023

Despite Victory, Lions Lose Out On Qualifying

Wednesday 19 July
Lion City Arena, Lion City, Dantopia
Dantopia1 – 0Patriotlandia
Half-Time: 1 – 0
McGoldrick 36’ Goals
Bartholomew-Barnham 36’Assists
Cunningham 60’ Substitutions Rodin 45’
HendricksonFulton
Moses 60’ L. Graham 64’
FodderinghamH. Graham
M. Danchevy 70’ Vaillancourt 64’
SanchezA. Francoeur
Bartholomew-Barnham 70’ Manahan 70’
PetersSarazin
A. Adeyemi 81’ Langlais 70’
BingE. Francoeur
Yellow Cards Vaillancourt 24’
Manahan 67’

The Lions reigned victorious over Patriotlandia last night in Lion City, winning the game by a goal to nil, but left the pitch heartbroken after late news arrived that Trolleborg - their Group 15 rivals from the South Pacific – had won their match against Neibeskiya, meaning that despite the national team’s best efforts, Dantopia would fail to qualify for World Cup 94, taking place in Kelssek and Graintfjall. Instead, the Dantopians would finish in fourth place, behind Trolleborg and Vilita – who would take the qualification playoff spots, and group winners Flavovespia, who did their part to help Dantopia by defeating Valentine Z in their final game 6-1.

Harold Northgate’s side required a Flavovespian victory, a Trolleborgian draw or defeat, as well as their own victory over Patriotlandia to secure the third spot in the group table. With the results playing out as they did, it saw Dantopia finish just a single point behind Trolleborg, much to the disappointment of the Dantopian players, coaching staff, and all the attending fans that had packed into the Lion City Arena for the final game of the qualification campaign. However, the Lions had massively outperformed what was expected of them in their debut to the World Cup Qualifiers. Having come into the tournament ranked 241st in the world, the national team have certainly done enough to see that rank revised soon. Dantopia will likely have to settle for an invite to the Cup of Harmony, an invitational competition for sides that fail to qualify for the World Cup finals. The additional international football will hopefully offer an opportunity to further boost the Lions’ world ranking, and give the members of the squad some much needed exposure to more competitive football.

The single goal of the game was provided by none other than Gary McGoldrick, with the Dartford Devils defender getting his head on the end of a Brent Bartholomew-Barnham corner in the thirty-sixth minute of the match. The gamble to include McGoldrick in the starting line-up – following some less than stellar performances – evidently paid off for manager Harold Northgate, who had previously commented on how much the centre-back had impressed him in training sessions leading up to the final game. The final goal from McGoldrick means that all in all, Dantopia forty-two goals scored across their twenty qualifying matches, an average of 2.1 goals a game. However, the Lions did give up thirty-three goals at the other end, leading to a plus nine goal difference. Had Trolleborg failed to win their match, the Lions would have progressed through to the playoff round on their superior goal difference to Valentine Z (+1), as the Valentians also sat on thirty points across their twenty qualifying matches.

The mood amongst the Dantopian fans leaving the Lion City Arena was one of melancholy, and wondering what could have been if a few bad results had gone different for the Lions. However, there is an eagerness for Dantopia to prove itself once again on the international stage, hopefully in the eighty-sixth edition of the Cup of Harmony, set to take place in ‪Poafmersia‬ and ‪Huayramarca‬ shortly. The Lions have outperformed expectations so far, and Harold Northgate and his men will be wanting to continue doing so, helping to establish Dantopia as major players on the international scene. The fans will certainly throw their full support behind the squad, as they hopefully embark on another international campaign very soon.

Group 15                             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Flavovespia                        20   12   5   3    60   29  +31    41
 2 Vilita                             20   11   6   3    64   41  +23    39
 3 Trolleborg                         20    7  10   3    24   17   +7    31
 4 Dantopia                           20    7   9   4    42   33   +9    30
 5 Valentine Z                        20    8   6   6    42   41   +1    30
 6 Tanirinthia                        20    8   5   7    43   48   −5    29
 7 Ziwana                             20    6   7   7    44   43   +1    25
 8 Patriotlandia                      20    5   8   7    42   46   −4    23
 9 Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer         20    5   7   8    35   47  −12    22
10 Neibeskiya                         20    3   7  10    31   47  −16    16
11 Euran Oceania Territories          20    1   4  15    25   60  −35     7

[United Hawkland]

We
Pronoun
used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people considered together.
"shall we have a drink?"

Fin·ished
Adjective
(of an action, activity, or piece of work) having been completed or ended.
"a preparatory drawing for the finished painting"

Rank
verb
past tense: ranked; past participle: ranked
1.
give (someone or something) a rank or place within a grading system.
"she is ranked number four in the world"

Higher
of great vertical extent.
"the top of a high mountain"
2.
great, or greater than normal, in quantity, size, or intensity.
"a high temperature"
than

Than
conjunction
1.
used to introduce the second element in a comparison.
"they go out less than they did when they first moved to Paris"

We finished ranked higher than

Kharakia
nation
1. the worst country ever

We finished ranked higher than Kharakia

Thank you, Mr. Webster.

[Yue Zhou]

THE NANGANG COURIER
ZHEN QIANG IN LIMBO AS ELECTION PRODUCES NO WINNERS
LIB. ARMY 134 (+19) • NAT. UNION 98 (-8) • PROG. DEMS 29 (+19) • FORWARD PATH 25 (-26) • OTHER 14 (-4)
Huang Xiewen, POLITICS

NANGANG -- For the first time in eighteen years, a party other than National Union will have the most seats in the Yue Assembly. That party's leader, to the horror of Zhen Qiang's center-right coalition, is Liang Ziyou. Liang's Liberation Army party won 134 of 300 seats in the final tally for the fourth-ever general election in the United Republics, and the first to occur before the end of the government's five-year term. Meanwhile, Zhen Qiang, who had already been forced into a coalition with the center-left Forward Path after losing seventy-four seats the previous election, saw Union slump to a record-low 98 seats despite rumors of a late polling surge for the ruling party.

"Today is a new dawn in our mighty United Republics," Liang Ziyou announced in a thunderous victory speech three days before the election actually happened. "No longer will we be saddled with the corrupt, opportunistic party that has held us back for decades. I can guarantee a new age of prosperity, safety, and flourishing for the Yue people." Liang's success - and Zhen Qiang's corresponding failure - can be attributed to a number of factors: surprising approval of Liang's aggressive Lit(TM) policy, fear of continued attacks by former Yue People's Army soldiers and members of the Movement for Immediate Sangauese Independence, and recent market volatility. However, the biggest reason seems to be that people are simply tired of National Union, which has ruled since the United Republics' inception and has been increasingly saddled with corruption allegations in recent years.

The shock election result puts the United Republics in a tenuous situation, with no party securing a majority and no coalition looking especially likely. Liberation Army find themselves just seventeen seats short of a majority in the Yue Assembly, something that would've been unthinkable a decade ago. However, National Union, the Progressive Democrats, and Forward Path have all refused to work with the right-wing party, and not even the inclusion of all right-wing independents would get them across the line. On the other hand, a grand coalition of the three other parties would just make it to 152. But losing any of the three parties would rule out such a coalition reaching 151 even with minor parties and independents, and there's little reason to expect Zhen Qiang and Hong Nanwei to work together after the latter threw the former into the deep end via vote of no confidence.

The election results leave incumbent President Zhen Qiang with very little hope of remaining in power, but the former Foreign Minister has staunchly refused to give up control of the National Union party. "Like many Yueren, I am deeply disappointed with the results of the most recent general election. However, while there is still hope of forming a consensus government that represents the average Yueren, I will continue to fight for what is best for all of us." Zhen did concede that Liang Ziyou, as leader of the party with by far the most seats, had the right to try to form a government first, although he added that Liberation Army "might soon realize why we need to collaborate in this country."

If Liberation Army does form a government, it is likely to significantly alter the regional dynamics within Pavola. Liang Ziyou is a staunch opponent of Yuezhou's decision to join the Common Rushmori Community, and has refused to state publicly whether he would try to withdraw from the CRC if elected - great news to Háttmark, to which Liang allegedly has some connections. A Liang government could also significantly ramp up Yue presence in Farfadillis, withdraw recently-offered aid to Guanacasteca's national rebuilding process, and put an end to the days of Yue diplomats helping negotiate multilateral compromises like the Varakoula Accords. Domestically, what Liang wants besides increased security measures is less clear. But if he is able to take control of the Yue government, things are about to change quickly in the United Republics.

ASHDOWN CONFIDENT AS DRAGONS SLIP INTO PLAYOFFS
PEMECUTAN 43 • YUEZHOU 41 (+21 GD) • ELMYIA 41 (+18 GD, 6 H2H) • THE HOLY EMPIRE 41 (+18 GD, 0 H2H)
Lin Shihao, SPORTS

NANGANG -- On the final matchday of World Cup 94 Qualifying, Yuezhou confidently defeated Gyatso-Kai 3-0. This, combined with The Holy Empire's shock loss to Baggieland, allowed the Dragons to squeeze into second place in the qualifying group, ahead of both Elmyia and the incredibly unfortunate fantasy adventurers on goal difference. Elmyia finished third to secure advancement to the qualifying playoffs for the first time in national history, while The Holy Empire, who was first in the group with just one match to play, was simultaneously leapfrogged by Yuezhou, Elmyia, and Pemecutan and finished fourth. "I'm proud of what our team accomplished, and I'm confident that we can secure another qualification for Yuezhou this cycle. Obviously, a team of The Holy Empire's caliber missing out is always going to be a huge story, but even if they'd defeated Baggieland, we still secured our own destiny by playing excellent football against Gyatso-Kai," manager Elaine Ashdown stated ahead of the team's one-game qualifying playoff against Jeruselem in Aigsvinger, Græntfjall.

The qualifying campaign itself had its fair share of ups and downs, but Yuezhou finish with a 12-5-3 record, and fifty goals scored to twenty-one conceded in their twenty matches. It's a strong performance for a team widely expected to place a distant third in their qualifying group (behind former WC runners-up Pemecutan and four-time champions The Holy Empire), although the manner in which it was reached was...somewhat peculiar. Yuezhou stunned both giants in their group, going 3-1-0 against the top two seeds, including 6-2 and 5-4 wins over the Adventurers, but perfectly balanced that record with a 0-1-3 showing against Baggieland and Elmyia. A stretch towards the start of the second half of qualifying was especially poor, as Yuezhou, in consecutive matches, drew Baggieland, lost to Nekohime, drew Sudilia, and was battered 5-1 by Elmyia.

But the Dragons recovered from that slump to finish strong, and now find themselves just ninety minutes (god willing) from the World Cup. Players who excelled this qualifying campaign include dynamic midfielder Kara Mingsdottír Zhang, breakout star Zhaxi Jianzan, and Luo Nanwei, who led the team in goalscoring amidst rumors that he could be agitating for a move away from FC Inter Nantwich. Elaine Ashdown in particular can take pride in this qualifying performance, as the Nepharan manager was criticized by fans after a slow start to the cycle before surprising both The Holy Empire and Pemecutan with some tactical innovations. While the team's consistent underperformance against lower-ranked sides threatens to be a problem, perhaps owing to the team's conservativeness outside of a few creative attackers, this could be a better tactical model for overperformance in the World Cup, where basically everyone is better than Yuezhou. They'll have to get there first, of course - but now, only one team remains in their way.

lineup for qualifying playoff (4-2-3-1): ZHAO Deliang - LU Lanying, HU Jiewen, YUAN Mingrong (C), DONG Xiaowang - WAN Sheping, ZHAXI Jianzan - JIANG Jieren, Kara Mingsdottír ZHANG, LUO Nanwei - LIANG Wei

[Archalit]

(IC Info: While the Jolliest Roger did not write an article about the latest matches in the World Cup Qualifiers, the national team made headlines for making it to the playoffs against all odds. Thus, provided instead is the front cover of the Times Charkara's sports special)

[Audioslavia]

Belted
Against the backdrop of a half-built stadium, the Bulls are humiliated in their Beltzarga debut.
Torrid playoff awaits.
Audio vs Cardenao 'not the only all-anaia clash happening right now'
Frustrated Alaba congratulates Qasden, HUElavia.

Before we open the box marked 'arrgh!' it's important to pay respect where it's due: HUElavia more than deserve their top spot in the group, and their place in World Cup 94.

It's difficult being a follower of Audioslavia's national football team, sure. Aside from three successive failures to qualify for the World Cup - unheard out outside the country's cycle 59-62 renaissance - the Bulls have a history of choking when it comes to the business end of tournaments - albeit a reputation that is based on ancient history rather than anything you can see or feel. HUElavians are perhaps the only nation on the international stage who can relate. Famously beaten finalists in the Independent Associations Championships on four successive occasions, the side had hit a 0-5 record in IAC finals before finally harpooning the whale, doing so, as Audioslavia did with the World Cup, twice in a row. Whereas Audioslavia have qualified for the overwhelming majority of World Cups they've entered - missing only 11 of the 59 they've entered - HUElavia's journey has been rockier. Debuting in Cycle 74, the side failed to record a positive W-D-L record until cycle 80, and would only qualify for the first time in World Cup 84 where they became one of only eighteen teams to have failed to make the second round despite amassing six points from a possible nine.

HUElavia would reach World Cup 85, miss out on 86 and 87 and make it to World Cup 88 before enduring a torrid five qualifying campaigns without even reaching a playoff, most gallingly finishing fourth in their World Cup 92 qualifying group despite hitting a Points Per Game of 2.2 - their second highest of all time, and higher than a Bulls team whose 2.05 PPG was enough for a playoff.

Here in cycle 94, the HUElavians may have been defeated twice by the Bulls, but an overall 13-3-4 record was, in the end, better than what the claret and greens could muster, and the HUElavians will finally get their fourth World Cup appearance under their belt.

Under fire Bulls manager Ager Alaba was philosophical in defeat at the weekend, pointing towards the athleticism and positioning Qasden's defensive pairing of Umstroke and Varnham and the charmed life the goal behind Zinnia Thurstan has always lead in matches against the Bulls. Ever the professional, Alaba refused to blame the state of the stadium - or lack thereof - for their side's failure to take the win they needed to auto-qualify. 'It was in our grasp' he said, 'but Margaret wanted to see us one more time'.

Suffice to say, the situation surrounding the national side was an absolute shambles. The Beltzarga may well turn into a fortress for Shamrock Cathair, Audioslavia or both, but not half-finished, with a half-baked infrastructure and looking like a child had gotten bored halfway through building a spaceship. What little noise the 40,000 in attendance - and *that* number is a little suspect when taking into account the security measures outside - was lost to the open sky, leaving an eerily quiet television broadcast showcasing the Bulls at their worst: Nervy in possession, trying and failing to get the ball forward through haste and a habit of always picking the obvious option, scruffy in defence. Cloveria No'Bell's strike on fifty-three minutes - the first conceded by the Bulls for six games - set the stage for a fightback that never happened. Qasden, every bit the defensive powerhouse as their hosts, have completed this particular challenge on many an occasion before: Sit back, don't get drawn out of position, let the Audioslavians overthink themselves into a mis-placed pass or poorly weighted through ball, rinse and repeat. In five total matches between Qasden and Audioslavia, across two regional matchups, the first round of last cycle's Cup of Harmony and these two qualifiers, Qasden has won all of them by a solitary goal to nil. They, like HUElavia, have out-Audioslavia'd Audioslavia.

The Bulls go into a one-shot playoff in Outineau needing to overcome a Cardenao team whose progression to third place in Group 10 was altogether more straight-forward than that of either of the three top sides in group 8. Hitting 12 wins - the same as Audioslavia - and 49 goals - 21 more than Audioslavia - the side come into the game on a hiding to nothing, playing their first ever playoff and knowing that, in ninety minutes, anything can happen. Ager Alaba will point to Audioslavia's staunch defence as a reason for his side being the favourites, which they are, but the fact remains that, in our last four Playoff encounters, Audioslavia have conceded nine times - more than the seven we've conceded over 20 games this cycle and the 8 put past us over cycle 93's 22 games.

It is, after all, Audioslavia in a big game. We all know how Audioslavian teams perform when the pressure is on. 'A bit like HUElavia', as the kids say. Some lament the fact that these qualifiers are over only one game but, the way I see it, taking the 'home' leg out of the equation probably helps the Audioslavians, whose fans are now acutely aware that, for a brief window, they don't really have a national football stadium. Outineau is as good a place as any. It's the Bulls in the playoffs for the third cup in succession. Let's do what nobody in Anaia seems to want to do right now: Just get the guns out and go blast some western Anaians.

[Xanneria]

www.Railphotos.xan - Photo tour!

RAILROAD: South Central Rail Lines
LOCOMOTIVE:
LOCOMOTIVE #:SCRL #9110
LOCATION: Powell, Gardinia
DATE: August 8th, 2048
DESCRIPTION: A special paint scheme resides on 9110. This is South Centrals tribute to firefighters! This SCRL train is picking up a few cars at the small Broadacre Yard. This yard snakes in between Powell University and the Knox River. **FUN FACT: This photo was actually photographed by the User behind Xanneria**

[Chromatika]

MD22: Kimi-suomi 2-4 Chromatika
Goals: Xuen-Zhukov 12', 18', Kuznetsov 57', 72'
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Ansov - de Aea - Anbient; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Kuznetsov; Xuen-Zhukov - Delaya.
Substitutes: Zuniga -> Larriet-Cortes (55'), Coulibaly -> Ansov (55'), Kruetzberg -> Fillar, G. (70'), Park -> Delaya (82'), Ansoll -> Delaya (82')

Playoff: Chromatika vs. Archalit
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Ansov - de Aea - Anbient; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Kuznetsov; Xuen-Zhukov - Delaya.
Substitutes: GK Kathie Begley, GK Hailee Sourtois, DCR Ami Coulibaly, DC Klavida Régine, DCL Ipati Aimée, DCL Cylie Nodis, WBR Emilie Kruetzberg, WBL Ibayashi Haitou, BWM Mare Si, AP Haley Hauser, AM Alissar Phoen, BWM Kateryna Zuniga, P Sandara Park, AF Elaine Howard-Dawes, AF Marie Faucheux.

Lev Repin Makes Four Changes to Roster ahead of Pivotal Playoff
Welcome to the team: Cylie Nodis, Ibayashi Haitou, Marie Faucheux, Elaine Howard-Dawes

CHROMIA, CAPITAL DISTRICT - After a rather routine win over Kimi-suomi, all eyes from Chromatika turned to the Anomalies' upcoming playoff against Archalit, a newcomer to the world stage. In a surprising move, Manager Lev Repin has changed four members of the Chromatik bench on the twenty-six man roster - putting in Cylie Nodis, Ibayashi Haitou, Marie Faucheux, and Elaine Howard-Dawes. Cylie Nodis provides a very offensive option at center back, being someone who can shoot from range as well as any midfielder, while Ibayashi Haitou has proven during this qualifying cycle that he is absolutely worth the billing of being the starter of a club like Mipojoseon. Add in the fact that Faucheux and Howard-Dawes has proven to be better prospects at striker behind Xuen-Zhukov and Delaya than any of the others, and it makes a lot of sense on just why these changes have been made.

Howard-Dawes, to her credit, becomes the most decorated player to still be playing in the Chromatik Collegiate Football Association since the days of Kuznetsov himself; she's had nine goals this cycle, and most of them have come at rather pivotal moments for the Anomalies. Now, she has a chance to show that she belongs in the final twenty-six - and with the fact that Delaya rarely finishes the entire game, it will be interesting to see which of them three bench strikers Repin will use. Faucheux, recently signed at Perce Town, also did well in her limited showing, but it's more of a testament to how poorly Kara Oveni and Hank Killian have progressed as players.

Chromatika has really come to life in the second half of the campaign, scoring forty goals while conceding twenty-six; in fact, the Anomalies had one of the best offensive showings throughout the entire cycle. Archalit has made it to the playoff off of a 10-3-7 record, scoring 38 and conceding 35 - meaning they scored almost as half as many goals as the Anomalies while conceding one less.

"They are a team that thrives in the narrow margins," commented Juxon Fillar regarding his opponent, ""We need to overwhelm them early and keep up the pressure. We are the favorites, and we need to play like it."

It all comes down to this - win, and carry on to hopefully show that it was more of a miracle run from Tikariot than anything else. Lose, and become fodder to one of the greatest stories regarding qualification - while putting an end to an amazing start of Lev Repin's stay as part of the Anomalies.

This is a team that is used to playing in big matches. It's time to show up.

[Saint Eleanor]

World Cup 94 - twenty-second matchday of qualifying
Polar Islandstates 0
Saint Eleanor 1 (Esther Launceston goal 89')

Eura progresses to the group stages of the World Cup

World Cup 94 - playoff
.Saint Eleanor. vs .Milchama.

Oneshot: One Shot at Glory

"Are we playing Milchama next"

"Yes we are"

"Why are we talking like Milchama"

"Don't ask me"

"We definitely don't play like Milchama"

"Yes Bridget Coombe's done a really good job as captain"

"Agreed, we defended really well against Polar Islandstates"

"Aren't they out of the playoff spots now"

"Yes they are"

"And we aren't"

"Take that you fascists"

"This is the Baptism of Fire final we could have had"

"RIP Pyazhnaya these days I suppose"

"Isn't this a de-facto BoF final"

"Not really unless you want to say this is a challenge"

"It is a challenge, don't be silly"

"Shall we wish them good luck"

"No, we're playing them"

"Oh, we're the home team"

"It's in Burnaby"

"I'd have preferred it in Latrobe"

"Well it wasn't a shortlisted venue so suck it"

"They'll suck it too"

"Or make us do so, you never know"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"But let's hope we win"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

"Yes, we can"

...

---

Thirty Years of Eleanorians - 1996: "I got to present some news on LocalTALK"
Published by Lucy Richards on May 4th 2005

Rare is the Eleanorian who keeps truly up to date with political affairs - especially somebody of James Sillcott's age. Nevertheless, the Richardgate student shows wisdom beyond many of his peers. "We don't have a voted-in government, but we do have President George and he has a lot of important people called Vice-Presidents who help him. Below that, we have people called Majors who lead the sub-units called districts and towns, and then the army controls society from below there and helps make sure everyone follows the laws. It is a really simple system."

Beyond self-study, Sillcott's teachers have had nothing but good words for him so far. "Sir says that I like really thinking about things, inventing new ideas, playing the games and doing the work he sets us, and doing my homework. I like reading about things such as the real world to learn more about how the world works, but I sometimes read stories too so I can be more creative and learn how Terranean works. I didn't think I would be asked to do anything for my school other than sports. Anyway, I am not good at them, so I actually didn't know what I was going to do."

It must have come as a surprise to him to be asked to present the 8am news bulletin for his regional LocalTALK station last Friday. "That's the breakfast program with Charlotte Woodall. My dad always listens to her when he drives me to school and goes to his job every morning and he says she offers a lot of insight into how people think, what happens with the world and what kind of opinions are based on good or bad facts. My teachers sometimes reach out to her asking if I or someone else can do the news instead of Daniel Murie at the start of every hour because guests from other places do it all the time. I didn't expect to be chosen!"

As it turns out, however, the request jumped through all the right hoops. Woodall was receptive, Murie agreed to give way and regional station management fully supported the request. "They say that at that time, a lot of people are going to school and it would be important to them if they heard somebody important from the primary school do news." Ironically, the task required Sillcott to attend school two hours before its normal opening time, upon which he was taken to LocalTALK's Newbanks radio centre. "Sir was there and he said he was just in the reception area all the time. I was led by the staff to the recording area and given a script, and they told me all about the stories I was going to present. I had to do it in a time limit because of the weather girl."

Ultimately, Sillcott completed his job - a two-minute introduction to issues as varied as road improvement works in North Seville and the vote tallying in Banija's election - and got back to school right in time for class. "I let a couple of experts speak but their section was done in advance so I didn't have to worry about talking for too long. The script was good timed and allowed me to let everybody else have their say after me." Alina Barstow, one of four weather forecasters whose LocalTALK broadcast is the only nationally-syndicated segment, didn't acknowledge him afterwards, although Sillcott says he hopes to meet her and talk about his experiences soon.

Woodall, however, came up with immediate praise, commending Sillcott for his "excellent work" and even light-heartedly identifying him as "a future LocalTALK host." One of the phoners-in that hour took to saluting his presentation before starting his speech, too. "I don't know what I want to do with a job because I am not old enough to go to work yet, but doing the radio once was a good idea and I think with enough practice and knowing how the broadcast people work, I agree that I could do it a lot of times in the future. But I don't want to be distracted and I don't want to go back for a few months!"

[Mertagne]

MNS Shoda, Ochre Island waters
Early this evening

Captain Julian Lenormand of the MNS Shoda, the Mertagnian aircraft carrier that had served to scout in the Ocean of Ayes while this crisis was ongoing, received his orders from central command. He was to sail south to the Ochres and do whatever was needed to protect the islands from an imminent Bostopian invasion. He was told that he may be doing this alone, but there would be the possibility that he would be receiving naval support from the Ko-orenites, and to await further communications on such a matter.

With haste, he scrambled the flotilla south, consulting the sea-charts that the carrier kept in store for a place to initiate a troop landing. If the Bostopians had already arrived, they may well meet considerable resistance, and so the flotilla’s stealth frigate and submarine were dispatched ahead of the flotilla to scout for possible threats.

Analysing the map alongside his navigational officers, Lenormand determined a reasonable course of action would be to establish an operating base on land. While he would have ideally wanted to initiate contact with Bellflower immediately, the threat that the capital’s waters were already blockaded by Bostopian troops was too great to dismiss. Instead, the western island of Handsby was identified as a key target, and luckily, a perfect spot revealed itself when consulting the charts along the Sunset Coast.

“Captain, it appears that there is a beach resort near the village of Oaktree. The beach is privately owned by Mertagnians, I think I recognise the name from a news story a few years back.” a navigational officer said, eyes and fingers pored over the paper chart.

“You think, or you know, officer? Information like this is critically important and we can’t afford to mess up here.” replied the Captain.

“Captain, the weather's getting worse heading south-east. Winds are picking up considerably as we approach the Ochres.” a helmsman shouted over the din of the bridge.

“Stay the course, helmsman - we have to touch down before nightfall or the whole island chain could be in enemy hands.”

The flotilla continued further south, facing larger and more ferocious waves as the carrier cut through the water. The aircraft, securely battened down, began to rock on the carrier. The skies began to darken slightly, despite the sun not falling in the sky. As the captain looked out onto the bridge, the flickering communications screens showed vessels on the horizon.

“Whose vessels are those on the horizon?” asked the Captain, increasingly stressed at the tense situation unfolding as the carrier bobbed slightly on the turbulent ocean.

“Opening communications with the vessel now, sir.” replied a communications officer from some squirrely corner of the bridge. Seconds passed, then minutes. There was no response.

“Either they’re ignoring our comms or there’s some interference, Captain - I can’t tell.” said the communications officer, one hand pressed to her headphones.

Captain Lenormand frowned, and carefully considered the flotilla’s options. “Break out the signal flags. I want every ship to display a message - just “Ko-oren”. Hopefully they’ll see the carrier flag and understand that we are friendly and wish to communicate with Ko-oren. If they are Bostopian, then by the time we get close enough to spot them, we’ll know whether to attack. It’s too stormy to prepare the jets. Contact the escort ships and tell them to prepare their weapons.”

The crewpeople got to work on assembling the maritime signal flags outside the bridge. Satellite communications were down as the sky blackened, and radio signals were heavily interfered with, but a grainy message was delivered to the escort ships to prepare their weapons and display the same message.

“Keep trying to establish communications, Officer Marques. In the meantime, let’s avoid these ships and keep on course to Oaktree.”

The flotilla continued to cut through the choppy seas as the conditions worsened around them. A black cloak had been pulled across the early evening’s sky, causing it to fall under a cover that wouldn’t normally be experienced until the depths of nighttime.

The entrance to Oaktree was far too shallow for a carrier the size of the Shoda to enter, and so it remained off the coast alongside its escort, weapons primed to fire on any confirmed Bostopian vessels. The flotilla had lost contact with its submarine, which had been ordered to perform a full sweep of the island for any subnautical threats. The captain hoped that they would be able to find the carrier and return without coming to any harm.

A small boat was dispatched to head to the coast, with a small contingent of naval infantry, whose purpose was to ensure that the resort at Oaktree had not already been taken by Bostopian allied forces. The flag of the Ochre Islands blew thunderingly on a flagpole alongside the Mertagnian flag, both of which threatened to leave their shackles and fly into the wind at any moment, as the boat landed on the beach next to a pile of blown over sun-loungers. It was clear from the scene, and the lights on inside one of the resort’s bar/restaurants, that this extreme weather had come along just as unexpectedly to the holiday makers as it had blindsided the Mertagnian Navy.

Sergeant Richard Kellock, squad leader, marched with his troops up the beach to the restaurant, carefully sidestepping the half-empty pool as he made his way towards the glass double doors of the resort’s bar and restaurant. Noting the name etched in a fancy font into the windows - The Momument, he caught the reflection of himself and his squad dressed to the nines in tactical gear, mostly with guns by their sides, as he held a hand up to the closed glass double doors and knocked on them.

Inside the restaurant, half-naked holidaymakers from several nations continued to drink and eat in the terrible weather, almost ignoring the unfolding situation going on outside. As Sergeant Kellock rapped on the door, certain that he would be unable to be heard as the storm battered on outside and the music played inside. His thoughts were validated - nobody heard him knock on the door and he had to wait a solid twenty seconds before a waiter caught his glance.

The waiter, carrying a tray of fizzy cocktails that were brightly coloured and contained an equal smattering of fruit and umbrellas, tripped on the air and dropped the tray at the presence of these armed guards. This caused many of the restaurateurs to turn and look, in turn noticing the naval infantry and look around in shock.

A more enterprising member of the bar staff vaulted over the bar and unlocked the doors, holding them open just a crack. This was mirrored by the crack in her voice. “Can I… help you folks?” she asked, searching around for any kind of identification that could demarcate these soldiers as friend or foe.

Sergeant Kellock brandished his arm, which contained a Mertagnian flag on a patch as well as his rank insignia and unit delegation. “Hello there ma’am. Please don’t be alarmed, but it is of vital importance that this facility is secured by the Mertagnian military.”

The woman sighed. “So you want to speak to the manager?”

“... Yeah, that’d be great.”

***

The squad had been allowed entrance to the resort, and now several members were in the lobby of the resort’s hotel while Sergeant Kellock was discussing terms with the two owners of the resort.

“So, let me get this straight, you want to requisition the entire resort as a military base?” claimed a cynical businessperson wearing a brightly coloured shirt with pineapples on it.

“Yes. We have strong reason to believe that the Ochre Island government has been infiltrated by Bostopian insurgents that are planning to invade imminently. It is incredibly important that our troops are allowed to touch down here and use this resort as an operational base.” replied Sergeant Kellock, with the no-nonsense tone of a person that believed in their orders.

“Do I have a choice in this matter?” asked the cynical businessperson, raising an eyebrow that poked over her rounded glasses.

“The operation will go a lot more smoothly with your co-operation. You are Mertagnian, right? This is an opportunity to stand up and be a model citizen. You can be assured that at the end of this endeavour, your… hospitality will be noted.”

A bald, shorter businessperson in an equally garish shirt began to speak. “I say we do it. It’s not like our security can tangle with these mariners.”

“On the contrary, sir,” Sergeant Kellock replied, “your security will be very useful if they can share information with us concerning the lay of the land. We will need to expand a security perimeter for a few miles outside the resort to ensure that it does not fall into the hands of the Bostopians. They will be great for community outreach, also - I personally believe the troop presence here will be a hard sell.”

The cynical businessperson rapped her fingers on the desk that she was perched on. “Fine. Bring your troops in, and we’ll work on relocating our guests. Would your people prefer the holiday homes or the hotel?”

---

MERTAGNE OUT OF FRYING PAN AND INTO FIRE IN WORLD CUP PLAYOFFS

After a momentous battle in the qualifiers for the latest edition of the World Cup, Ázëwyn Fëanáro’s squad of 26 Mertagnian national team players has managed to progress out of the frying plan of the World Cup qualifiers, and directly into the fire of the World Cup playoffs. When the dust settled on the groups and the matchups were revealed, Mertagne were drawn against Valanora, arguably the sport’s winningest team (choose your metric - this paragraph chooses “Most World Cups Won”) and current 8th best team in the world.

Mertagnian fans were truly on the edge of their seat going into their final match of the qualifiers against Eastfield Lodge, as this was a ‘must win’ game for the Green Goblins. Any fewer than the complete clutch of three points from the Eastfielders would have ended their qualification chances then and there, as they would not have been able to pull level on points with Acastanha and win out over them due to superior goal difference. The away side’s emphatic 1-3 victory caused the contingent of fans in the stadium to erupt with cheers when Pia Aziz threaded the needle with a long ball to Tevente Kings, who was able to smack the ball into the back of the net in the 88th minute to ensure that there was little chance of a home victory, and there was much chance of redemption for a squad that did little to assuage the general public that they were performing to their expected levels at the halfway stage of this qualifying period.

This is the second time that Ázëwyn Fëanáro has managed to carry the Mertagnian squad to the World Cup playoffs - their best result in the modern era. Fëanáro is still commited to take the team to the World Cup proper, however, and to do so in the face of such a potent threat as Valanora would be a true success story for the national side she inherited seven years ago. In that time, Fëanáro has transformed the operations of the FMF on and off the pitch, with her many years of experience proving pivotal for the team to learn from and grow with. While it hasn’t been without its challenges, the team has moved from strength to strength, and when the Green Goblins lace up their boots and shake hands with the Marauders, there will surely be a sense of national pride that Mertagne are in this position. They will be fighting hard for the win against a Vanorian that found themselves fighting in the playoff spot after a few tough games against the Quebecois athletes. The five-time World Cup champions won’t take this lying down, and Fëanáro knows innately the hunger and drive that come from #wantingsix, hailing from also five-time World Cup champions Starblaydia.

Opposing manager Dan Eastwood’s squad contains a great many household names from domestic leagues across the multiverse. Laborious Hawk is Laborious Hawk, the pivotal figure that you could argue the Marauders could hang their whole squad on if it wasn’t so stacked. Few would be able to watch a week of Euran football without hearing about the unstoppable Günter Obermaier, who has throughout this qualifying campaign consistently managed to deal with the immense pressure that must come with being the main shot-stopper for the Marauders. The 31 year old Ulsa goalkeeper will certainly be playing for his life if he is chosen to face off against Mertagne this week, but it is equally likely that Eastwood will lean on some of the other deep talent in the squad, especially if the Vanorian mood music is that this match is a foregone conclusion in their own favour. Mertagne will be firing on all cylinders, only bringing the best and most in-form players to the match, as they will be keen to prove that their new generation is capable of unseating the World Cup stalwarts of Valanora.

Unseating the Marauders from their rather undisputed throne as best of best (choose your metric - this paragraph chooses “Hall of Fame Points”) would cause Valanora to miss out on the World Cup Finals for the first time since World Cup 71. World Cup 71 for Mertagne marked the second cycle that the team entered under the guise of the Calanian Union, just seven years into the nation’s founding and while Mertagne was aligned with what is today the Euran Oceania Territories. Mertagne has gone through a breadth of transformation in that time, becoming the large and genial nation it is today, and while the Eternal Empire has been through a litany of changes of its own, the power base in Raynor City remains more consolidated than ever.

Arguably, this could very well be Mertagne’s best shot at advancing from the playoffs yet. A single legged playoff is the order of this cycle’s qualification shenanigans, which means that the possibility of an upset (which a Mertagnian victory certainly is on paper) is greatly increased. To have such an unbroken string of qualification runs means that the Marauders have had to have been lucky always, and here Mertagne here will only have to be lucky once. If the stars align (and here all of Mertagne’s nine stars will have to do so compared to Valanora’s negative one) then it will be possible to prevail in this bout of David and Goliath proportions. The Eternal Empire will be looking to remain so, but Mertagne will be doing its best to call time on the Empire, and break their clocks as well as our nation’s glass ceiling.

[Ko-oren]

Captain Nanuk Dakathen peered through the clouds, and ordered the rest of the crew on the bridge to do the same. The waves rocked the ship ceaselessly, and from his high vantage point the sway was even worse. Between the movement and the screams coming from his men on the deck below, it was difficult to focus on what lay ahead, but in between the ashen clouds, there was definitely some blue visible.

“Are we getting anything on communication, GPS, radar?” Dakathen asked for the umpteenth time. “No way, I have no idea what those clouds are made of but everything’s dead.”

And then - the waves stopped suddenly. The winds ceased. The sky opened up, revealing the first rays of sunshine in several hours. “Radar back up! And there’s a lot of stuff dead ahead!”

“Bostopians?”

“No, I don’t think that’s quite it,” said one of the other crew members, peering through binoculars. “K O O R E N,” he said, as the flags of Lenormand’s ship came into focus. “Are they saying they’re Ko-oren, or asking if we are?”

“If it’s the former, the Bostopians got to us before we could prepare. If it’s the latter… are those the Mertagnians?”

”Affirmative”

”M E R T”

”Affirmative”


“Thank fuck. If they’re not lying. But if I’m not mistaken, isn’t that the point where we were supposed to meet up anyway? That looks like Oaktree.”

***

Captain Julian Lenormand awaited the Ko-orenite landing party. “Captain Nanuk Dakathen, I presume?”

The Mertagnian delegation saluted and looked at the Ko-orenites with part compassion, part pity. The Ko-orenites did some last minute checks of their uniform, and while they were dressed impeccably, the stress of the situation of half an hour ago was still visible on their faces - let alone the fact that they had still not managed to contact Santa Teresa, and that they were now involved in an armed conflict that they hadn’t prepared for. After all, they never did make it to Cardenao, Quebec, and Banija.

“Welcome to Oaktree! This resort - and all the vacationers in it - are our temporary base while we’re looking for better options. The immediate to-do list is… a bit long, so I’m very glad to see you all in good health. Please, captain, allow your men to step ashore so we can start our preparations. We’ve turned some of the resort’s offices into situation rooms, and we’ve commandeered the event hall for now. If you can all fit in there, maybe we don’t have to cancel tonight’s magician after all…”

A man dressed in a Hawaii shirt angrily leered at Lenormand.

Dakathen took control of the situation - as much as he could. He left Lenormand in charge of dealing with hotel staff, who turned out to be part Mertagnian. That left Dakathen to order his technical staff to work with Lenormand’s technical staff: first of all, they needed some information as to the position of the Bostopians. Secondly, establish communication with the outside world. Thirdly, inspect the ships, find and repair any damage. That would keep them busy for most of the day, but the longer Dakathen thought about it, the more he added to the list. Fourth, fifth, sixth… secure positions along the shores of the Ochre Islands to prevent a quick Bostopian advance, talk to the Ochre Islands military and navy to see what their plans are and if the northern Anaians can be slotted into those. The size of the task started to dawn on Dakathen.

“Have you figured out communication with the rest of the world yet?”

“No, but the Ochres told me that this is a feature of their land. Those clouds? That’s what’s stopping anything from coming in or going out. It’s sort of a Faraday cage.”

“You mean a Pauginnen cage? I think we beat Faraday to the invention.”

“Faraday cage.”

---

Back in Koroa City, the Ko-orenite delegation tried to get the show back on the road. They - and the other delegations - convinced the Ochres with relative ease, and then Laurderinthen started talking about his other goals for the week, when he got rudely interrupted.

"Hello darlings."

The response at the table to the introduction was a little all over the place. The Krytenians verbalised their shock (“Impossible”), the group from Cardenao sat in silence. The Ko-orenites, however, sighed and rolled their eyes. Maybe the gravity of the situation wasn’t immediately clear to them, with no Ko-orenite politician ever interacting with the Emperor Boston, but after a dozen twists and a ‘they like us, they don’t like us’ game, those from the Dragonfly Archipelago were kind of done with it all. And that’s without any person in the room knowing about the lost contact with our fleet, let alone what they were asked to do.

That said, Laurderinthen wasn’t looking for trouble either, and who knew what the Emperor could do. He wanted to ‘hello darling’ back at him and tell him to get stuffed so they could get that defence treaty going. Out of all the twists and turns this story had taken, however, this was the one they could gloss over the least. A complete wildcard had taken over.

Two rooms and a hallway over, a dozen Ko-orenite staffers were desperately hoping for a break in proceedings so they could inform the ministers of what had just happened. It’s not every day that you get to send a fleet over to defend an allied (question mark?) nation. In fact, this was the very first time. We haven’t had a navy for a very long time.

[Nyowani Kitara]

NYK manager Liang Wei, after the Brookstation match

The final whistle blew, and Brookstation fans and players both started leaping in joy and celebration. Take 7, finally qualifying for their first World Cup- it was indeed a special moment in the nation's history, and the history of their national team. Liang Wei simply walked over to the Brookstation manager, shook his hand, and congratulated him on a job well done. "Hey, look- you've had your boys ready for the entirety of qualifying, and your form has been sensational. Big win after big win- it's great to see another Pavola team in the World Cup."

The Brookstation grunted his congratulations, and then was mobbed by a player. Liang Wei watched the celebrations happening all around him. He knew what it felt like- the joys of qualifying for the World Cup. And he remembered the joys of qualifying for the World Cup for the very first time- as Nyowani Kitara had celebrations exactly like these ones, against Brookstation themselves, after the World Cup 91 Qualification Playoffs. Nyowani Kitara players were walking off the pitch as the celebrations were happening all around them- players hugging their families, some in tears, some pounding their chests, shirts flying.

Liang Wei watched a little bit, and then took his leave from the pitch. Always good to watch these celebrations- help motivate us for what was to come. Nyowani Kitara's campaign was not over- the playoffs were in the frontview mirror. It was time to go out there and win their playoff.

---

Nyowani Kitara north to Háttmark for one game playoff against Sylestone for a chance to make the World Cup

THE WHITE WINTER QUEENDOM- Our winning streak reached 13 games to set us up with a winner-take-all, do-or-die playoff, away to Brookstation. But our winning streak stopped there. Brookstation was finally our match, as they eked out a 1-0 win to qualify directly to the World Cup Finals. Which means, for the second straight cycle, and the fourth time in the last five cycles, Nyowani Kitara finds ourselves in a familar position- the World Cup Qualifying Playoffs.

We have now built ourselves a long history in these playoffs. Whether from the position of an underdog, or the position of a favorite, it is a familiar position. "I realize we were a Pot 1 team- we were not aiming for the playoffs." Said the team captain, Odede Angonga. "But we are not nervous, we are not scared- it is not a disaster to be here. Nyowani Kitara is not like a Graentfjall or a Banija, where it might be a 5 alarm fire to even be in the playoffs. Nope- we are consistently in the playoffs, and look- it doesn't really matter how you get to the World Cup. All that matters is that you get there, and what you do once you are there- at the World Cup, nobody's gonna ask us if we qulaified via the playoff or winning our group."

That much may be true. But let's look at our playoff history in this tournament.

World Cup 90 Qualifying- Ethane defeats Nyowani Kitara 5-2 on aggregate

Just our second ever World Cup cycle, that saw our civil war wrapping up and the landmark peace agreement start to be established. We had a nation like Chromatika in our group- who, just a few cycles later, would go all the way to the World Cup Final(just last cycle- World Cup 93!) But in a group with Eura and Chromatika, we were not expected to do much of anything. And when they dropped six goals on us in Dewayo, in the first half of World Cup Qualifying, many thought that we'd simply be a fun, high-scoring team. Actually capable of doing anything? Not at all.

But then we were able to storm back. And that cycle will not be remembered best for our playoff appearance, but for what it took to reach the playoffs. A dramatic, 3-2 road win over Chromatika punched our ticket to the playoffs for the first time in our national history, and knocked Chromatika all the way back to the Cup of Harmony. Of course, they recovered nicely, reaching the World Cup Final just three cycles later. The actual playoff was mostly bad memories. Disastrous defending and an own goal saw us blow a 2-0 lead in the final minutes of the first leg at home, and then Ethane steamrolled us in Ethane, 3-0, to make the World Cup.

First effort? Not so good. But it was probably too soon.

Now, our last article talked about our World Cup 91 Qualifying Playoff, against Brookstation. We all know what happened there- we won both legs en route to a 6-3 aggregate victory, and a berth in our first ever World Cup- World Cup 91. And World Cup 92 Qualifying, we beat The Holy Empire twice in route to winning our group- and eventually getting to the World Cup Semifinals.

World Cup 93 Playoffs- Nyowani Kitara defeats Baggieland 5-4 on aggregate

And just last cycle. A disappointing qualifying campaign for us- but one that taught us perspective. We thought we'd comem out gungho, steamroll our Qualifying group, and fly off to the World Cup. But that did not happen- for the first time, we performed under expectations. "That Qualifying campaign was probably one of the most important in our team's history- simply to humble us, keep us grounded." Liang Wei told reporters. "Remember, World Cup 92- we had come off of defeating a top 3 team in the world, The Holy Empire, twice in Qualifying, as well as a stunning run to the World Cup Semifinals. People thought we were taking over the world- but we needed to come down to Earth."

A few matches against Juvencus and Drawkland humbled us. We finished second in our group, as Juvencus were one of the best teams in all of World Cup Qualifying full stop last cycle, just steamrolling basically everybody to qualify for the World Cup with three games remaining. Off to the playoffs for us, against Baggieland- we earned a wild, 4-4 draw in Baggieland in the first leg. A good away leg, and then we were able to tighten up on defense, and earn a 1-0 home Qualifying win to punch our ticket to the Finals.

Which leads us to now. "Last cycle showed us that when things go wrong, or below expectations, there's no need to panic." Said veteran winger Olaf Svante. "We saw how the beginning of this campaign- but we never panicked. We got things back together, and were able to pick up steam- winning 13 games on the bounce, in international football, is no small feat.

Playoff Preview- Sylestone on deck

This year's playoffs are different, however. Instead of a two-legged tie, Nyowani Kitara is making the trek to Hattmark, for a one leg playoff- against Sylestone. One game, 90 minutes- and if that isn't enough, 120 minutes. And if THAT isn't enough, then the drama of penalties. And stylistically, they are playing a team that could not possibly be more different than we are right now. That team, of course, is Sylestone.

As Sylestone media pointed out, they only scored 16 goals across 20 games- less than one per game. And yet, they only conceded 13. We, on the other hand, conceded 30 while scoring 61- showing the difference between Sylestone matches and NYK matches. "Our matches tend to be much higher paced, have much more pace and space, and the team that is able to dictate the tempo is likely to be the team that will triumph in this game." Said the Kitaran striker, Owino Odede. "So we've got to make sure we're ready to try and impose our will on this game."

Who is the key to this then? Like it often is, the central midfield pivot will be crucial- Arvid Hansdotter and Mhara Vera. The wingers right behind them, Wang Jiahui and Olaf Svante, as well. If those four can really keep SYelstone on their toes, and more importantly, break up the counter-attacks as they start, then we have a path to victory. But they would love to sit back, swallow the pressure, slow the game down- and then blitz you on a counter once they've lulled you to sleep. They know how to play their style of football- that's why they beat teams like the Ochre Islands and Sargossa to the playoffs.

Ultimately, we are the slightest of favorites- but in these one game playoffs, anything can happen- it'll have the tension of a Final. Load up, drink up, get ready for anything- the fireworks will be spectacular in Háttmark.

[Cassadaigua]

For playoff teams, World Cup starts now,
by Caitlyn Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

The twenty game group stage has reached it's conclusion, and fifteen teams know that they will be joining Graintfjall and Kelssek in that esteemed field of 32. It was a grind for many of them, as many groups came down to the final matchday or at least the final matchdays. Group 11 was tight, even though Nephara ultimately took the crown by four points. A great campaign by our Fillies, finishing at 14-3-3 with an 8-1-1 second half, allows the squad to take the second spot, and those 45 points were tied for second amongst all the teams that finished as the runner-up. Due to goal differential, Cassadaigua is officially the fifth seed. Then, you have third place Milchama, who finished with the best record amongst teams that placed in that position. And let's also mention Koronavia. Though they did not qualify, the 40 points that they attained were better than twelve of the 30 teams that are in the playoff right now. We know what it's like to be a tough luck fourth place team within this format, it's happened to us twice in the last three World Cups.

Before we look ahead to the upcoming game, we need to talk about the final qualifying contest against Brascocia. You will find complete and thorough coverage of this contest elsewhere on this website, or on the Concord Heights Times App. In a nutshell, it was a well played 4-2 win that saw the team power out to a 3-0 lead at halftime, thanks to goals by Lexi McGregor in the 14th, Lauren Engle in the 18th (which was an absolute beauty), and then Chloe Anderson in the 39th. After conceding a goal in the 48th, thanks to the visitors taking advantage of Alyssa Marlin's slip and fall, Cassadaigua regained the three goal advantage on Tiffany Brown's second of qualifying in the 66th. Brascocia finished it out in the 84th. After the game, many talked about the play of 19-year old midfielder Lauren Engle, not just in this game, but in the entire qualifying campaign. Manager Chen Huikang said of the young star, "They've taught her very well with Montreal Koreana, I've seen first hand when I was with CSKA Quebec just how much of a well oiled machine that squad is. Lauren had the tools which she showed as an amateur here, and she has taken that to the next level. I never had any doubts about naming her as a starter on this team, but she had to continue to back that up with her play on the pitch. It has not been picture perfect, as it will never be, but Lauren has really stepped up, and it makes the future of Cassadagan football that much brighter."

As individuals throughout this lineup, the squad performed to expectations and exceeded them in various capacities. Lexi McGregor, in her first full qualifier as a definitive #1 forward was excellent, and she continued to show great chemistry with Shannon Cunningham. This is a team that went 14-3-3, and that's 1-2-1 against Nephara and Milchama, combined. Take away the top two, then they took care business against the rest of the group with a 13-1-2 clip, and I think only the Ascvalion draw is an ugly result, though we know why that happened. Otherwise, there are losses to Adab and Yakk mixed in, and those squads will always be good enough to "have their day". Let's also bear in mind that this team did grind out a pair of 1-0 victories over Koronavia. Unfortunately, it will not be enough if the team loses their playoff game.

That opponent? Cap Nord.
This is not a nation that is an long history in the World Cup, or interregional sports in general, but in a short time, they have managed to find quite a bit of success. The Esportivan nation will be looking to do the same thing that we did back in World Cup 45, and qualify on their third attempt. Also like us, they broke into the World Cup by making it to the semifinals in their Baptism of Fire, but not making it to the final. They had a solid 9-5-6 initial qualifying campaign, but showed their true potential two years ago with a 14-3-5 record. Unfortunately for them, that was only good enough for fourth. At the Concord Heights Times, do know that we do indeed like to see nations like this qualify for the World Cup because we know how much it means to them, so perhaps they can do so for the first time in World Cup 95. Known as the Whalers, they got here by finishing third in Group 12, and did so by winning out in a three way tie over West Barack and East Obama and Polar Islandstates. The group was won by the terrorist supporters from Eura, who defeat Cap Nord 1-0 and then 2-0, respectively.

There are quite a few big names that are participating in the playoff, which as you know by now is a winner take all contest. The likes of Pasarga, Chromatika, Ko-oren, Valanora (yes, seriously), Farfadillis, and Vilita are just some of the nations that are in the same situation that we are, and I could have gone on naming a bunch of other storied nations. One would think that at least one of them will be an upset victim, though we are talking about storied programs who know how to perform in the clutch. Other than Valanora, who plays Mertagne, each of those heavyweights would seem to be a strong favorite. Valanora will still be a favorite, but Mertagne obviously is not someone the wanted to see on the other side of the field in a game like this. Is this where we start another discussion about the World Cup finally needing to expand the field to 48? I could, but you know how I feel about that already, so I will just passively mention that here before moving on!

The good news about this format, is that it can make the teams experience playing in the World Cup just a little bit, as they will be able to make a trip to one of the hosting nations. For Cassadaigua and Cap Nord, this means a trip to a "cap nord" in Graintfjall, as the city of Altendalur is in the northern tip of the country, and includes whaling spine ornaments on the main entrance gate. So this begs the question, is that a good or bad omen for a team known as the Whalers? You could see the positive, by drawing the parallels between their teams, but at the same, if someone using spine ornaments of you, then you can also say that figuratively, that's what the Fillies what to do with the dreams of Cap Nord for qualifying for the first time. There will be plenty of Cassadagans making the trip to the fellow Rushmori nation, and many have already begun posing with these spine ornaments. A social media challenge on Spacebook, which has moved on to Twii'tur has indeed asked traveling fans to show their best pictures of themselves, in Fillies gear or with the Cassadagan flag, with the ornaments in the background. There are already 1,093 photos attached using the applicable hashtags. Our fans are known for traveling to games like this, and will be an abundance at Florus Stadium.

As for the team, as expected, they are taking a more business like approach, but star forward Lexi McGregor did venture out of the soccer element briefly to comment (because a reporter asked her to) on the ejection of 24-year old Banijan Sadiiq Xoosh in the World Baseball Classic for showboating. Since Lexi is also known for doing that, one couldn't help but know what she thought of it, "Yeah, that's some messed up bullshit right there. I hope that ump (who is Cassadagan) doesn't have a sister or brother in the CSL. Dude hits a big home run in one of the biggest games of his life, and he wants to have a little fun. The Ranorians are big boys and girls, they can handle it, and if they want, they can plunk him in his next at bat the next day, but to throw him out like that, that is lame as all hell, and I am glad we don't get that in soccer." Lexi then politely asked reporters to focus their questions on the upcoming playoff game. In practice, the team has looked sharp, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Some will say that there is more pressure on Cassadaigua then there is on Cap Nord for this game, and in ways that might be true. However, if there is, you can't tell that from the mannerisms of the Fillies right now. They seem loose and ready to take care of business. And let's face it, they have been in several knockout out style games lately, with most of these players experiencing that in the Copa Rushmori championship that they won, and then advancing to the championship game of the Eagles Cup. Cap Nord, sure, they can take the approach of playing the "underdog" and "no one expects us to win" cards, and they should do that, but the Fillies, these current Fillies and not ones of the past, have been in games like this before, and very recently, and will not let the moment get too big for them.

[Milchama]

"So we're in the playoffs"

"Oh good"

"So we're playing Drawkland then right?"

"Incorrect"

"Wait say that again"

"We're not playing Drawkland"

"Did Kelssek and Graentfjall not get our message that we demanded Drawkland in any playoff scenario?"

"They did acknowledge the letter and then told us to 'fuck off' and that our request was 'the most unreasonable request we have ever seen. What are you talking about'"

"It's always nice when hosts are respectful"

"Exactly"

"So then who are we playing"

"Saint Eleanor"

"Oh so Tinhampton"

"No different country"

"Different country?"

"Completely different, they have different flags"

"Ah that makes sense"

"And honestly based on their mottos I'd rather face Saint Eleanor"

"Why?"

"Here is their motto: We'll never qualify for a World Cup again! LMAOOOOOOOOO"

"Oh that's good"

"Yeah it definitely puts us in a good place in terms of our qualification"

"By the way I heard they changed the playoff format"

"They did"

"So what's happening?"

"Only one leg"

"So it's a winner take all match"

"Yes"

"So we had to win a winner take all in order to get to a winner take all"

"Yes"

"Ugh"

"Eh, we've had worse"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"But historically we've done well in two legged playoffs"

"True"

"But we've also done well in one legged playoffs"

"We have?"

"Sure why not it's not like you're going to research the history"

"Fair enough"

"So we've done well there also"

"Agreed"

"And our ranking went up"

"It did?"

"Yeah we're now ranked 24 instead of 28"

"That's good"

"It is"

"So everything is coming up Milchama"

"Yep"

"Great"

"You know what this means"

"What"

"It's time to bring out the big guns again"

"Oh ok we can do that"

"Say as I say and do as I do"

''Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 23minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over Saint Eleanor and any other infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Amen"