World Cup 83 - Roleplay Thread

[Free Republics]

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello, I am Sister Maria Polus. I am the Housemistress of Tomlinson House at the Barjavel Academy at Republica, the Instructor in Religious Studies, Deportment and Latin at the Academy and the Headmistress of the Barjavel Junior Academy, Republica Branch. I welcome you to the first live edition of Sister Polus's Thoughts on the WOLF News Channel. I will be discussing several topics tonight starting with the horrific fire at the O'Reilly Tower in New City. According to New City police, the final death toll is two thousand one hundred and thirty three. New City police still do not have a suspect but they believe that the fire was an arson.

O'Reilly Tower was an architectural marvel constructed by the O'Reilly Organization, which of course is owned and managed by our former consul Kaleb O'Reilly. Here's a clip of Mr. O'Reilly discussing the attack:

Kaleb O'Reilly - O'Reilly Tower was the most beautiful and greatest skyscraper in the multiverse! Now, it is just ash because some very bad people burned it to the ground. The New City Fire Department let it burn down because it is filled with very incompetent people so I will be suing the New City Fire Department for 500 billion thalers and I will be suing the city of New City for full public funding to rebuild O'Reilly Tower twice as big and twice as great as it was!

Mr. O'Reilly has my full support in his lawsuit although I believe he should name the Federation Government and Scarlett the Harlot as co-defendants in this case because this has all the hallmarks of an act of war by a hostile foreign power and Scarlett was too busy trying to seduce men to do her job and keep this country safe! After the break, I will have Valentin Svensson of Common Good on to discuss this situation...

---

Due to time constraints, portions of this program have been omitted from this rebroadcast.

---

Welcome back to Sister Polus's Thoughts. Tonight, there is breaking news out of South Covello where Carter Redwin has just been elected president. I want to congratulate Mr. Redwin on his victory. Let's go live to his speech:

“Yes, folks, let us strive in the name of Greatness to Make South Covello Great Again, to Make South Covello Pure Again, and to Make South Covello For South Covellans Again! Yes, it is all thanks to you, my loyal voters, that I will be able to move forward with this plan. So give yourselves another round of applause!

Oh my goodness, they've just shot Carter Redwin! The South Covellans need to catch whoever committed this atrocity and hang, draw and quarter his behind as quickly as possible! I suspect that Feministvs Sanctvsterra, which assassinated King Paulus XV and Consul Venicio Piazza, or the Legion of Lucifer, which murdered Consul Reino Kulseth by burning down a building after brainwashing the Republican military into betraying him, is behind this. If they're not behind this, then it is surely some other wicked organization that needs to be hunted down to the ends of the multiverse.

We had a planned segment with Samuel Lucchese to discuss his new initiative to protect college students from bad influences and keep them focused on their schoolwork but unfortunately we will not be discussing that tonight as this is a bigger story. Instead, we turn to Wolf News's correspondent in south eastern Esportiva, Darlene Bearden. Darlene, what is going on in South Covello right now?

Darlene Bearden - I don't know. Its a chaotic situation. Their president-elect is dead and there is no word as to whether David Hale remains president or they hold a new election. It does appear, however, that Carter Redwin is dead.

Surely, there must be somebody who is willing to carry through Mr. Redwin's vision that could be appointed as a suitable replacement for him.

Darlene Bearden - Unfortunately, the system does not work that way and the South Covellan establishment, which continues to hold legislative power in the nation, despised Mr. Redwin and everything he stood for.

Well, of course they would since they are slaves to that horned tyrant Satanas.

Darlene Bearden - Be that as it may, they did not like Carter Redwin and many are probably relieved that he is not going to be their president.

...

---

Somewhere in Vakolicci Haven or Celeria

Rule Theriault's Republicans had just taken a 2 goals to 1 lead on an improbable Johnny Smith goal from outside the box. 25 minutes remained in the match. Over the next 25 minutes, Marko Gersten would make 2 serious errors in defense conceding goals to the home side each time. A Love Holm equalizer would be disallowed on a borderline offsides call and the Republicans were headed into an extended mid-qual break having conceded 12 goals in their first 6 matches.

While the matches on their bye day had yet to be played, the Republicans were now the only group leader in the entire World Cup Qualifying field that led their group in most goals allowed. The one saving grace for them had been their 17 goals scored which was 8 more than any other side had scored. Regardless of which defenders and which goalkeeper the Republicans played, teams just kept scoring on them. Even worse, the Republicans had allowed 9 goals in their last 3 matches alone, 3 in each match.

While conceding 3 goals to a Vakolicci team that was contending for qualification was bad, Theriault was especially bothered by his defense's play in their 5 to 3 win over Lons especially after watching the tape of Lons getting shut out at home by The Aurian Plains in the very next match after sticking 3 on the Republicans in Nejan Stadium.

Nonetheless, Theriault decided he would stick with his plan to rest his starters and would sit most of his starters for the rematch with The Aurian Plains, even after their upset draw in Republica to open the World Cup...

[Hapilopper]

Tom Earle High School, Hapilopper City
World Cup Qualifying Match Day 6: Hapilopper vs. crowd control and sanity
The Stevenson brothers, Drake and Ernie, sat in the empty black box theater in an obscure hallway of Tom Earle High School. They had been there since five in the morning, having been driven there by their mother, an English teacher. Around lunchtime, they would surprise the students for a school-wide assembly to boost the morale of the student body. It was the first time the two Stevenson brothers had been in the school in years, and the first time in about 16 years or so that Drake had been in this room.

“You know, the last time I was here, I couldn’t sit right for weeks,” Drake told his little brother.

It was true. In August of 2003, when Drake was a 9th grader and in a theater class, a class stunt went wrong as two of his classmates threw him in midair. Drake was supposed to land on his feet. He didn’t, landing ass-first on the concrete floor. The initial concern was that he had broken his tailbone, but fortunately, that was not the case.

“I always heard about that,” Ernie responded. “They always told me there was a dent in the floor. Didn’t surprise me, because you were always a hardass.”

Drake started chuckling, but careful to not make too much noise. The two had been advised to be quiet, so as to not cause a disturbance. If a student or two knew the Stevenson brothers were in the school, it was possible all hell might have broken loose. Among the students at Tom Earle, the two had carried an almost god-like level of reverence amongst the students and teachers. Drake graduated from TEHS in 2007. Ernie graduated in 2010, and what they did after graduating made them heroes in the eyes of those that went to the school.

For years, Drake had been spoken of in hushed tones amongst students at TEHS. Drake and his girlfriend, Gabriela Petrescu, were seen as the power couple amongst their class, and even after they broke up, the two were revered amongst the students that visited the school, as well as the teachers. Both knew what they were doing. And now, recently, Ernie’s name had surpassed that.

It was a regular sight for students at Earle High to speak of Ernie’s name with the reverence of a god, especially after his recent performances in qualifying for the World Cup. Ernie had scored a hat trick against the team ranked 9th in the world, and the TEHS students were in awe.

As the two Stevenson brothers hung out in the theater, two 9th grade girls walked into the room with the intention of picking up a couple of papers from the teacher, Mrs. Jenkins. When they saw the two Stevenson brothers, the two nearly fainted. When the teacher and the two brothers calmed the kids down, they were reminded to, please, keep it a secret.

Incredibly, those two girls kept it a secret. Around noon, time for lunch, the entire student body was told that instead of the three staggered lunches in the cafeteria, the entire student body would gather in the gymnasium after grabbing their lunches, for a very important speech. There had been some disciplinary issues at the school, including a food fight where the cafeteria had been covered with various condiments, and a brawl where a student’s head had been slammed into a wall, so some students wondered if the principal would read them the riot act.

And sure enough, the tension was high when the principal stood there on center court of the gym’s basketball court. It was the only room that could hold all of the school’s 1,525 students. The thing is, though, was that the principal wasn’t thinking about disciplinary action. Two of the most famous students in Tom Earle’s history were there.

“Earle High students, I don’t know what else to say other than I’d like to bring out Mr. DRAKE STEVENSON!” the principal bellowed. Drake came out, and the students went wild with excitement. He walked over to center court, waving as the student body’s screams could deafen the entire room. Drake had a smile on his face, and had a feeling that when he introduced his little brother, all hell would break loose.

“So that was for me, right?” Drake said with a smile as the students cheered wildly. “Wow. You know, there’s someone else here that I think you might love a little bit more. He’s made this country proud in the Baptism of Fire. He’s…”

The words “Baptism of Fire” was enough to trigger one of the loudest reactions anyone had ever heard. Drake’s eyes got really wide, as his ears started to hurt from the almost-nuclear reaction from the crowd at the school. Not many things overwhelmed him, but this did. His little brother had surpassed him, and he couldn’t have been any happier to see, or hear it.

Drake held his right hand up to quiet the students, then pointed to the door he had just come from.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE IS, ERNIE FUCKING STEVENSON!!!”

The students went even more wild than before. The reactions from the students most definitely caused pain in the ears, and some students even rushed the court to try to get closer to someone who had become a national hero in the eyes of Hapiloppians.

For Ernie, the stories of Hapilopper falling in love with the national team and its players hadn’t quite resonated until this very moment. The stories of Hapilopper’s younger population wanting to take up football because of the HNFT’s performances sounded cool, but he didn’t totally believe it. Now here he was, with his older brother, and the excitement surrounded seeing him, not Drake. It hit home, and he struggled to get the right words out. It was because of him and his teammates that football had become the most popular sport among the younger population.

His speech wasn’t memorable. It didn’t need to be. It was drowned out by the wild screaming of 1,500 teenagers, all over the moon at seeing this goal-scoring machine in the flesh. And he had gone to this high school, so he was just like they were.

When Ernie returned to training the next morning, he told his teammates of what he had experienced, and why qualifying for the World Cup was so important. It wasn’t just about them. It wasn’t just about becoming worldwide stars. It wasn’t just about becoming celebrities with more fame and fortune than they knew what to do with. It was about the next generation of Hapiloppians that would take up the game and try to be just as good as the players of today.

Their next match would be a crucial one, too. Hapilopper would take on Damukuni, the 38th ranked team in the world. Fortunately, they’d have one hell of a home field advantage, inside the reasonably-unfriendly confines of Capital Stadium. Each of the 66,000 plus seats had been sold, and the Hapilopper National Football Team knew they needed to be at their best for them, and for the millions watching across the nation.

As one would expect from a 167th ranked team going up against a 38th ranked team, the Haps were training hard, getting themselves prepared for one of the matches of their life. They were going to play as if their lives depended on it. They had pulled off some giantkilling efforts leading up to this match, and they had pulled off some of the most amazing feats international football had seen all season. It remained to be seen, however, if Hapilopper could pull off another magical feat against the team from Damukuni.

It would be a challenge, that’s for sure. But Hapiloppians enjoyed challenges.

[Port Ember]

Port Ember Times

The Tridents Draws Equal Against Euran Oceania Territories

Port Ember 1 - 1 Euran Oceania Territories

By Erica Davies - Port Ember Times Sports Section

The Tridents have managed to pull of a 1 - 1 draw against Euran Oceania Territories, The Expats, which was played this past thursday in The Flynn Arena in Euran Oceania Territories.

Port Ember drew this match which forms part of the World Cup Qualifier Run, Group E. The Tridents started their qualifier run looking impressively, but it have started struggling when they lost two matches in a row. This most recent draw was not the best of results, but it does keep their qualifying dream alive. Barely, but alive.

This draw has managed to keep Port Ember on the third spot on the Group E Table.

The Game - Summary

The match was a constantly hard fought game with neither side affording their opponents a second to catch a breath, and was a true nail-biting derby.

The first half came to an end with Port Ember trailing 1 - 0, who was doing quite well with keeping the opposition's offence at bay, but was slightly struggling to launch an effective offense themselves.

The first goal of the match came from the side of Euran Oceania Territories in minute 37 when P. Chadwik scored with a hard header goal shot from a corner kick.

The second half commenced with Port Ember starting to launch far more attacks against their opposition, who put up a world class defence, proving their worth as the 87th best team in the world. It was the pure heart and experience which managed to keep the Tridents from scoring, even though by minute 82, 13 shots at goal have been launched! Although the defence was perfect, it was clear that the young Tridents had youth and stamina on their side and their opponents were becoming greatly fatiqued, which led to a lapse in focus in minute 83 which led to the equalizer score.

For this goal, Midfielder William Carvello was tying up the opposition midfield near the halfway mark, who continued to launch a long pass at striker Moult, deep in opposition territory, who passed again to striker Ryan Bowman who was in space. He took a shot at goal, but it bounced off the corner pole, back into the feet of Moult, eho took a hard shot which was deflected back by the keeper, back into the feet of Bowman, who took another shot at goal, and the keeper did not yet manage to get back to his feet in time, as the ball spun into the back of the net. A rapid but glorious event.

The Tridents launched another attempted offence for the next 7 minutes but failed to crack the tired opposition offence again, ending the match in a draw.

The Fans

Although the game was not played in Port Ember, the stadium was still filled with a large number of Trident's fans cheering loudly and supporting their team proudly.

Port Emberian Player Scores

Goalkeeper (GK)(#1): Peter Smith - 8/10. This legend was back on form, stopping 4 out of 5 shots at goal.

Center Back (CB)(#2): Josh Richards - 7/10. Confusingly, this player was back on form again afer the last two dissapointing matches. Managed to shut down offence after offence with technical brilliant timing and tackles for the full time he was on the field.

Center Back (CB)(#3): Jason Lee. 8/10. 'The Prince of the Backline' was back to his normal and expected good form and ruled the backline with a iron fist, constantly leading to the shutdown of opposition attacks. Curiously he did not assume the mantle as team captain as he was expected to, instead standing back for newcomer midfielder William Carvello.

Full Back (LB)(#4): Alex Kuhn - 7/10. Confusingly, this player was back on form again afer the last two dissapointing matches. Managed to shut down offence after offence with technical brilliant timing and tackles for the full time he was on the field.

Full Back (RB)(#5): Russel Pierce - 7/10. Confusingly, this player was back on form again afer the last two dissapointing matches. Managed to shut down offence after offence with technical brilliant timing and tackles for the full time he was on the field.

Attacking Midfield (AM)(#10): William Carvello - 8/10. This player started the match, standing in for the legendary Raymond Reddington, who is also the captain, due to injury for the second match in a row. Much pressure was placed on William since Reddington is the focal point of the Port Emberian strategy. Although he started off slow and struggled in the first half to find his rhythm, he did find it in the second half, displaying a much more aggressive playstyle for the team compared to the legend Reddington which he was standing in for. He allowed the team to launch constant and aggressive attacks in the second half and assisted in setting up the equalizer draw. He performed his captain duties surprisingly well, even though he his quite new to the field. Well deserved man of the match award.

Defensive Midfield (DM)(#6): Steven Packard - 7/10. Was instrumental in shutting down the constant attacks and setting up counter attacks.

Wide Midfield (LM)(#8): Jason Chamberlain - 7/10. Capitalised well against the tiring oponents in the second half, creating gaps in the left flank of the opponents defence time and again.

Wide Midfield (RM)(#11): Steve Rogers - 7/10. Managed to shut down counter attacks from the flanks regularly.

Central Forward (CF)(#7): Leon Moult - 8/10. His keen eye and fitness combined with his chemistry with he rest of the team allowed him to exhaust and frustrate the opposition endlessly in the second half, allowing a wonderfull comeback.

Central Forward (CF)(#9): Ryan Bowman 8/10. Much pressure was placed on the young substitute as he had to stand in for the injured star striker Danny Nicovic, with large expectations for the second match in a row. He found his rhythm in the second half and scored a beautifull goal which equalised the game. We would like to see this young talent receive more field time to develop him into his full potential.

Player Scores - Substitutes

Wide Midfield (LM)(#20): Fraser Murray 7/10: Managed to bring new life to the left flank in the second half, helping the team to constantly launch attacks, not allowing te opposition to rest or launch follow up attacks.

Wide Midfield (RM)(#21): John Swift 7/10: Managed to bring new life to the right flank in the second half, helping the team to constantly launch attacks, not allowing te opposition to rest or launch follow up attacks.

Match Stats

Match: Port Ember Vs Euran Oceania Territories.

Location:Flynn Arena; Euran Oceania Territories

Result: 1 - 1 Draw

Goals - Port Ember: 1 x Ryan Bowman

Goals - Euran Oceania Territories: 1 x P. Chadwik

Man of the Match - Port Ember: William Carvello

Aftermatch word from the Coach

"I am aware that our fans are dissapointed that we did not manage to win today, especially since we have had a tough time recently. But I am truly satisfied and proud of the team as we once again went to to toe with one of the best teams on the planet and show them we are no pushovers and are here to stay. I do wish to appologise to our fans for not winning, and hope they will continue to grant us their amazing support in the future. This is still a learning curve for us, and we will certainly bounce back in future! Our opponents have played brilliantly today and have certainly brought their A Game, so congratulations to a beautifull game!." Coach Baxter

[Taeshan]

The match that would likely decide much of the proceedings of Group J was upon Darmen and Taeshan as they headed into their big Matchday 6 fixture. The big meeting of the top two teams by ranking in the Group was a clash of the high flying Purple Knights and the less than stellar, so far, Darmen side. The site was Stadio Rushmore in Johno, and the stage was set for a clash of Rushmore titans, with a lot on the line. The 11th overall meeting of the two sides, with the visiting men in Purple attempting to get their first win in Darmen, and only their 3rd overall in the matchup. For the fourth time the Knights came visiting to Darmen, but for perhaps the first time they seemed the side on form, but the favorite home side, even with some lackluster results of recent, came into the match looking to get back on track.

It was a frantic affair early on as the home Darmen side wished to assert some form of dominance over a Taeshan side seemingly punching above their weight throughout qualifying. The Knights dominated the Group, but yet to face the biggest opponent. The Knights held on early and got a few of their own punches in but it did not seem to faze the home team. The raucous crowd of Green and White fans were willing their side on and it seemed that eventually they would score an opener and put the fear in the eyes of the visiting men in Purple, but to everyone's surprise with 8 shots on goal total in the first half, neither side was able to make much headway as Jacob Jingleheimer-Smitt and Hyman Campo were steadfast in their respective nets and the Rushmore clash was nil-nil at the break.

The second half picked up where the first left off with attack after attack until unexpectedly the Knights put the crowd into a complete silence. Shiloh Morgenstern, back in the XI after a slight knock, sprinted up the left flank and slammed in a cross for Wilhelm Nkitilina who laid the ball back to Geoffrey Klingenberg cutting in from the right and Geoffrey sashayed through the middle of the box and slotted the ball home giving the visitors the lead on only their second ever goal scored in Darmen. The Knights bench went crazy. On the field came Yoshimi Hirahito for Nkitilina to put the team in even more of a defensive crouch with an experienced opponent even more pushed forward. This opened Darmen up to even more counter attacks and eventually Morgenstern would spring Abriel Torres one on one with the goalie, whom he rounded and gave the visiting men in purple and impressive 2-0. Which they would eventually take home with them as a full 3 points.

The win was perhaps one of the biggest in recent memory for the Purple Knights. 38 years since a World Cup qualification and now the side sits 10 points clear of the top team at the halfway point, with at least a 7 point cushion. The biggest threat so far has been Mytanija, who they will at least be 1 point above, if not 4 or 3, with their remaining match of the first half against Darmen. The Knights have only once not scored, a pitiful home draw with Senayan, but hopefully that rests far behind them. The toughest part of their schedule is now behind them, but they will need to continue to dig deep if they have any wish to return to the World Cup, or in the case of everyone involved in this squad, Coaching Staff and Players, qualify for their first World Cup.

A big part of that will be keeping their heads in the game and with that in mind a mid qualifying bye matchup has been announced with familiar for Jeruselem. The biggest matchup for Taeshani fans the Princess Cup will be played for 31st time. The Knights have only won 10 times and will head to Jeruselem looking to start to turn the tide of the matchup. Jeruselem currently sits 9 spots above the Purple Knights in rank, but the Knights are having a much better qualifying campaign. This will be a good road match to get their feet under them with the following game on the road in Mytanija which could prove to be another powerful matchup when it comes time to decide at the end of this campaign who has qualified and who has not.

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 83 | 83º Mundial

SHOCKING
New Lusitania 0-0 Bengaliana
@ Estádio de Aveiro (Att: 33 164)

After their respectable result away at Concord Heights, "A Equipa de Todos Nós" were homebound to play against Bengaliana, in Aveiro. However by the time they arrived in the city, they found erratic thunderstorms as the match's weather, which were expected to stop raining around halftime. Bengaliana were the last placed team and were yet to make a point and many were tired after their previous match. João Sá had his match in goal with Vinagrete returning to left back, Breu played in left midfield as Luz started in right midfield and Henrique Costa played in Silveira's position which meant there were five changes.
The game itself as told by the result, was goalless but it had it's fair share of chances. In the first half, Silveira almost made it 1-0 hitting the post and on forty minutes Fernando hit the bar. New Lusitania got extremely frustrated by at half-time being goalless but Bengaliana were confident they could hold their counter-attacking position. The second half would see André Moreira as a sub for Nevais come on at the end of halftime which ended up taking longer than usual as the referees were trying to ascertain that play could resume. After a close call shot by Luz, Bengaliana had a counter attack that tested João Sá which had been practically inactive up to that point. Besides that, it's worth noting a good shot by Henrique Costa and a header by André Moreira.
A game where New Lusitania could've shown the secondary players' talents didn't work out as they have with the five sudden changes with only captain Fernando playing all matches. There might've been a slight underestimation with the weather not helping the game at all. As a typical side, New Lusitania got a result against the big boys to stumble against the minnow. Bengaliana are celebrating though, as they get their first point of the campaign. FULL TIME: 0-0


Here & Around the Grounds
It's not all doom and gloom though, with New Lusitania jumping to second somehow on goals scored. The reason? Cassadaigua's win at the Crystalline Caverns by 0-1. This meant the Fillies are no longer in imminent danger of the Selecção taking over as they have a 4 point gap. Abaja took the week off with New Karelograd beating Rakivland by 1-3.
Statewise, Cassadaigua has been the clear winner of the group so far with 13 points out of 15 possible and 16 goals scored, being one of the best attacks. New Lusitania can say, along with Joshenia that they have the title of second most draws (three) with only Qasden and Saltstead having more (4). At least it's not Group M, which has been very unpredictable, with every team drawing twice with the exception of last placed Western Bjornaic (5 Losses), with Ko-oren in front, having drawn 2-2 this time against Eura. Meanwhile, The Holy Empire takes the title for most goals, taking their title up to 21 in Group H following their win against Lashnakia at home by 4-1. Meanwhile both Taeshan of Group J and Kernovi (& Rewgwlas) of Group U are the "most efficient" taking the top spot of their respective groups with a mere 7 goals with the former conceding one and the latter, two. Only Caras hasn't scored yet, on the opposing face of the coin. On the penultimate Matchday of the first round, New Lusitania travel to Abaja, a team that has shown plenty of capability during the first few matches. Victor Santa Cruz stated that "despite their hiatus in football they're still a good team and we're hoping a good result away over there". One can only hope for the best, and you can watch it all unfold into the final whistle and beyond with STL.





THE HUB
GOALS: Silveira (3), Fernando (1), Cavalariça (1), Gama (1), Jota (1), Veiga (1), Nevais (1)
ASSISTS: Gama (2), Fernando (1), Veiga (1), Guerreiros (1), Silveira (1), , Breu (1), Mário (1)
CARDS: Nevais (1Y), Cancela (1Y)

LATEST STATS
World Cup 82 Quals
Top Goalscorers: Silveira (9)
Assists: Fernando (8)
Cup of Harmony 74
Top Goalscorer: Silveira (4)
Assists: Fernando (3)
-------------------------------------
Matchday: Internationals
coverage of the best
STL1 22:00 GMT
-----------------------------------
World Cup 83
The best of the action on STL, your National Broadcaster
New Lusitania in exclusive.
-----------------------------------
Reach us with your reactions:
#STL #forçaselecção #WC83 #LUS
----------------------------------
STL in association with FLF
MMXIX

[Darmen]

World Cup 83: The Psephology Edition
Why have just one election when you can have 1093‽

---

Rademacher and Liberals launch aggressive pro-Rushmori campaign

Joshua Rademacher points towards a future with Darmen a member of the CRC

BLOOMER - Joshua Rademacher and his newly formed Liberal Party have officially launched their election campaign today with a tour of the recently finished road works located south of Bloomer. The road works were constructed following an acceptance of Euran financial aid by Darmen, which Rademacher was quick to point to as evidence Darmen should join the Common Rushmori Community.

"We've seen a major rejuvenation of the local economy here in the Bloomer area following the much needed upgrades to the local roads," stated Rademacher. "This construction couldn't have happened without the aid of the Euran government. If Darmen hopes to become stronger as we progress into the future, we must become more connected with our regional neighbors, Eura being one of those nations."

Rademacher continued by criticizing the current government's policy of pursuing bilateral agreements, "Joining the CRC is the single most efficient way of building regional connections and Darmen can not afford to remain separate. Multilateral agreements are by far stronger and more effective than bilateral agreements."

Liberal Party strategists have hinted that their campaign will focus almost solely on CRC membership, stating that most of the other campaign issues (deflation, national security, unemployment, etc.) can be single-handedly solved by Darmen's joining the CRC.

Compared to the other major parties: the newly formed center-right Republican Party and left-wing United Left coalition; the Liberal's campaign is massive in its total cost and scope. TV, internet and radio ad-time is overwhelmingly dominated by the Liberals compared to the other parties. The Liberals also have the largest number of official campaign events scheduled, with Rademacher expected to speak at 26 engagements in total. Meanwhile, Yoram Nash, leader of the United Left, will speak at nine, and current President of the Republic, Tor Tong Lee, leader of the Republican Party, will make only a single speech a week prior to the election.

Additionally, door-to-door campaigning involving not just the candidates themselves but hundreds of volunteers as well, will make their campaign one of face-to-face intimacy as they try to convince the Darmeni people that CRC membership is the right choice. Polls suggest that the Darmeni population is still largely skeptical of the CRC, with only 35% of the population supporting Darmeni membership and 45% against it. When asked, the primary concern given has been the loss of national sovereignty to an outside body.

Rademacher's next campaign stop will occur over the weekend as he visits Rogerton. He will purportedly attempt to reassure the local population that removing border controls on the border with Valladares will not lead to a repeat of a situation similar to Riotgate.

[Bolgano]

BOLGANO 3-2 Leponatssefiria

The team with this great change managed to get their first victory against Leponatssefiria with a Hat-Trick from Tom Evans but we did not keep the goal to zero since they managed to make us 2 goals.

[Timuria]

Pressure Builds After Valiant Defeat

by Tufan Nursultan

Timuria 3-5 Valanora
Ertan Renda (42), Vatan Ercetin (49, 55);Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar (15), Espy va Drake (32, 61), Laborious Hawk (81, 86)

The national team put up a valiant fight against 5 times world champions and group leaders Valanora, who maintained their perfect record after an up-and-down contest. The national team is experiencing significant controversy after goalkeeper Saban Inekci gave very critical quotes to the press, with some fans and experts criticising Bekir Altingunes's system as unfit. The national team slipped one spot to 5th on goal difference, with qualification already a long shot this result will have effectively rendered the remaining games as opportunities for experimentation.

The early stages were dominated by the visitors as the packed Hisar School Field of Excellence enjoyed the spectacle of seeing a top tier team performing. Ozbek Sarikaya was tormented early on by Lithvathar who showed her greater class and significant experience advantage over Ozbek who was a teacher prior to his professional football career beginning in the most recent edition of the Baptism of Fire. The difference could not be made more clear as Lithvathar scored with an exceptional volley from a clearance which whistled into the top corner of Saban Inekci's goal. The visitors lead was doubled by va Drake who found himself in acres of space after a serious lapse in defensive fortitude from the national team, he slotted effortlessly into the bottom-right corner.

The national team managed to shake themselves out of the spiral it appeared that they were in danger of falling into, with a period of decent attacking impetus. The first attack of note led to Caner Turan hitting the bar from a long range effort that took everyone, including him, by surprise. Ertan Renda hit the back of the net after a lapse in concentration from Sean Smørdal allowed Ertan to round him before slotting home into the open goal three minutes before halftime leaving the national team within touching distance.

The national team came out with a strong offensive focus, the free flowing play delighted the capacity crowd in Hisar, both sides tested each other's goalkeepers. Vatan Ercetin would draw the national team level after a cross from Caner Turan was met by his head, leaving the Vanorian keeper completely helpless. Barely able to recover from the shock, an error from Sean Smørdal left the ball in the path of Vatan Ercetin who calmly placed the ball into the unguarded net. The unexpected lead gave the national immense confidence and they would have many chances, most failing to reach the target or test Sean Smørdal.

The Vanorians equalised after a wayward pass from Eyup Mustafa was picked off by va Drake and he fired home. Both teams then struggled to defend effectively with both showing grave wastefulness in front of the goal. Laborious Hawk delivered the Vanorians the lead with a well placed shot in the 81st minute after horrible organisation was exposed by the visitors. The victory was rounded off by Hawk who scored from yet another error that left Saban Inekci completely exposed and visibly furious with his defence.

Elsewhere in the group, Kiryu-shi recorded their first win in the group against Lavize who they have overtaken to be released from the floor of the group. 95X and Balqia played our a bore draw leaving 95X as the primary challenger to Valanora and in the driving seat for the playoff spot.

What they said after the match:

Saban Inekci: "Was I frustrated? Yes, absolutely. There's very clearly something wrong with the system we're playing. We're asking too much of the defenders, especially against these stronger teams. No goalkeeper wants to be picking the ball out of his net 5 times and honestly if that's what the manager is insisting on happening I'd rather sit on the bench than be put in a position where I can't possibly succeed."

Bekir Altingunes: "No one expected us to even be in this match, so the first thing we should all think about is how well the team, as a whole, did today. I can't blame Saban for being so angry, I would be angry too and I understand his concerns. I think in order for him to cool off for a period we'll allow him to sit on the bench for the next match and see if that addresses the systematic issue."

Player Ratings:

Saban Inekci 5/10 - He cut a frustrated and furious figure and looked like he had given up costing the team a potential result. Rightly being benched for one game.

Ozbek Sarikaya 5/10 - Struggled horribly as he was made to look pedestrian.

Eyup Mustafa 5/10 - Mistakes riddled his game as he was substituted.

Osman Hasanoglu 6/10 - The less incident prone of the two central defenders, but he couldn't have had a good day under these circumstances.

Gokdeniz Dag 6/10 - A quiet day, but ultimately disappointing.

Atilla Acar 6/10 -Completely invisible for large spells and inconsequential for others.

Yusuf Ihsanoglu 6/10 - Again, invisible or inconsequential. The central midfield pivot is struggling consistently now.

Caner Turan 7/10 - A strong game where he tested the opposition, but failed to realise a lot of his promise.

Ertan Renda 8/10 - Got a goal and looked a good talent as usual.

Tayyar Ozel 5/10 - Was very quiet and looked a class below the opposition.

Vatan Ercetin 8/10 - Looked good value for his brace and was able to look the equal of the Vanorians all game.

Substitutes:

Metin Boz 6/10 - Wasn't on the pitch long enough to make a meaningful impact.

Tekin Yavuz 6/10 - Looked stronger than Tayyar Ozel, but wont be challenging for a spot in the starting XI again any time soon.

(Wo)Man of the Match: Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar - She opened the scoring and was generally a force to reckoned with, usually overshadowed by her more talented teammates she really shone in her own right.

Player of the Game for Timuria: Caner Turan - Looked good value for his brace and was his usual composed self.

Our editors once again got the result correct for our promotion, but didn't count on our offence being quite so potent (or our defence being quite this terrible) meaning 8 lucky readers will win 10,000 Demirs.

Schedule and editor's predictions with the results so far:
MD1: vs Kavagrad, Manat School Sports Centre, L 0-2, Result: D 1-1
MD2: @ Kiryu-shi, W 1-0, Result: W 4-3
MD3: Bye
MD4: vs 95X, Tim-Enerji Park, L 0-3, Result: L 2-3
MD5: @ Balqia D 2-2, Result: D 3-3
MD6: vs Valanora, Hisar School Field of Excellence, L 1-4, Result: L 3-5
MD7: @ Lavize D 1-1
MD8: @ Kavagrad L 1-3
MD9: vs Kiryu-shi, Maden-Is Stadium W 2-0
MD10: Bye
MD11: @ 95X L 0-4
MD12: vs Balqia, Manat School Sports Centre D 1-1
MD13: @ Valanora L 0-4
MD14: vs Lavize, Belediye Park W 1-0

Total points won: 8

The next match: The national team will travel to Lavize who are coming off a 1-0 defeat to Kiryu-shi, there will be a lot of attention paid to the performance of the defence which will remain unchanged, but with Iskender Nur given a chance to redeem himself and show he has a future at international level.

[Chromatika]

Recap of Matchday 5: Far Wor Eryunce 0–2 Chromatika @ Far Wor Eryunce
Goals: Sierra '1, Conrad '68
Starting XI: Williams; McBee - Will - Anderson - Austic; Etienne - Montague (C) - Limones - Conrad; Vidal - Sierra.
Substitutes: Damjana -> Austic ('52), Dias -> Limones ('71), Xe -> Conrad ('85)
Recap: Continuing the momentum that was generated in the match against Qusmo, the Chromatiks went on the road and put on a clinic of a show against Far Wor Eryunce, a side that had defeated Port Ember the matchday prior. Rowena Sierra scored the opening goal, the fastest international goal in Chromatik history. Retta Conrad added another goal to the list of accomplishments in her first stint on the team as well.

---

Preview of Matchday 6: (87) Euran Oceania Territories @ (47) Chromatika @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromatik City, Chromatika (144,000)
Starting XI: Ria; Ruth - de Aea - Ibex - Damjana; Thorben - Montague (C) - Kuzami - Xe; Vidal - Sierra.
Preview: The last match in the first leg of the qualifying cycle pits the Chromatiks against a familiar foe in the Euran Oceania Territories. As they've now come into form, it'll be good to see how they handle the third-seeded team in the group, who sports a 2-1-2 record. Mia Ria returns to the pitch after conceding three goals to Port Ember, eager to get back on form. The continuing of de Aea and Ibex working together is quite good.

---

Where Are They Now? Lucjusz Stef, Part 2
by Jordan Lawless
Chromatik City Courier

Jordan's Recap

Ah.

Rowena Sierra has really caught the public's eye, hasn't she? The supermodel-turned-striker has been phenomenal as of late, and this match was no exception. The through-ball from Montague was quite pretty, and the way that Rowena had no hesitation in the mid-ranged shot from her left foot was a thing of beauty. She has become one of the must-see strikers from the Aries Chariots in the Nepharim Premiership; it's almost too bad that Keira and Kaytlyn are just that much better usually.

Another player who's been catching everyone's attention has been Retta Conrad, who added to her slew of goals with another low, dipping corner kick. She does know how to bend those, doesn't she?

Not bad at all, non-starters. Not bad.

Lucjusz Stef - The Unknown Quantity - Part 2

Cappucine Marie-Antoinette Jacquelline Krasnikova Stef.

What is known about the leader of Chromatika's sister?

Cappucine is three years' Alina's junior. Black hair, green eyes, slim build. Not very attractive, but memorable, a bit edgy. Before the Rainbow Revolution, Cappucine was a pilot for the Chromatik Air Force, specializing in covert ops and stealth aircraft. She hasn't really said much about her time in the Air Force, but can you really blame her?

They were actually the talk of the nation before the Revolution when they started dating; Lucjusz, a son of Silvers who were in the Chromatik political machine, and her, a pilot for Chromatik Special Forces. What made them stick together afterwards, nobody really knows but those two. They don't have any children of their own.

Since Lucjusz's retirement, Cappucine has also gotten a degree, in Medicine. She tags along with him in his mission to the Eyrodii jungle in civil engineering projects.

Alina and she have been seen together a few times, but it is also not known if they are close.

Why let you all know? Well, it's because of a specific fact:

The Checkers Party is after us.

No, really, I'm not joking.

They are after us. They have hit squads after us.

Don't believe me?

Keep reading. Next, I give you the story I've heard, corroborated, from one Trenn Rien.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

(Note: The Parliament of the Commonwealth consists of the House of Assembly, and the Council of State, the upper house made up of 8 members from each of the seven states. The House has limits as to how many days it can be in session, but the Council does not; in fact it holds meetings only one or two days a week when the House is in recess--as it is at this point where we pick up the discussion of world events.)

The Chair is the presiding officer, which rotates among all 56 members of the council at some point (6 weeks to 2 months typically), usually by seniority unless someone chooses not to take the chair, i.e. the most senior party members who have probably served as Chair on previous occasions
The Leader is the floor leader for the majority party, in this case the centerish-leftish Federalist Party, and The Auditor is the minority floor leader; in this case the Liberal & Trade Union Alliance which is the largest opposition delegation, and left wing.

The Chair (Mr. Gilliam--EZR): "This meeting of the Council of State, in the second session of the 31st Parliament of the Commonwealth of Baker Park will come to order. The Recorder will note the proceedings are open. We open the floor to the Leader of the Council."

The Leader (Mr. Banford--BPS): "Mr Chairman, before we go into the order of business, I ask leave that the Council might be informed of significant international developments that have arisen since the last meeting."

The Chair: "Without Objection."
The Leader: "I don't doubt that most--if not all--of us have been made aware of the situation that occurred in South Covello on the night of their Presidential election, when the President-Elect was shot dead by an assassin at the conclusion of his victory speech. The PM has related to me within the last several hours that both herself and the Head have expressed their shock & condolences to the nation of South Covello via the diplomatic protocols, and the Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs has issued an advisory for citizens traveling to or currently in South Covello to remain alert."
recognition asked

The Chair: "Will you yield for the Auditor?"
The Leader: "certainly"
The Chair: "The floor is yielded to the Auditor of the Council"

The Auditor (Mrs. Liddings--STL) "I appreciate the Leader's time. I don't think any of us want to see the killing of elected leaders of nations at any time. But I do believe we need to keep at the front of our minds that Mr Redwin was, by his own admission, about to dismantle the democratic government, he stated as much less than 5 minutes before he killed. He was bent on totalitarian control of South Covello, and who knows what other designs he had on neighbors or nations he didn't like. I think we should temper our condolences to the people of the country and the democracy there, but I won't mourn the man, no offense to the Chair."

The Chair: "Leader"
The Leader: "I certainly understand the Auditor's justification for feeling the way she does. The government, of course, cannot align itself with the sentiments expressed by not only the Auditor, but many others in opposition, although I reckon that some of her minority partners may not totally support her view. I'm sure she realizes, Mr Chairman, that the government must remain above the fray of the internal politics of a nation that is not even in our region, much less our economic or social sphere."

[Recuecn]

Mister Minister | Ch. 1 | Monsieur le Ministre
Mister Minister | Ch. 2 | Monsieur le Ministre
Mister Minister | Ch. 3 | Monsieur le Ministre

---

The mayor of Beçonailles' legislative office, a bit more than a year ago.

Jean-Luc Lassalle sat at his desk in the office of the Mayor of Beçonailles at the Mayoral Chamber in Reçueçn. Most of the other staff had left to return to Beçonailles with the Mayor, who was beginning to worry about his ratings in his constituency. The only other staffer in the office at that moment was Jean-Luc's colleague, Samuel Brèas.

"Samuel, you like football, yes?" Jean-Luc had just had an idea, and he was trying to figure out how to introduce it.

"I like it." Brèas seemed hesitant.

"What's your team?"

"RGS Athletic."

"Bandwaggoner, eh? But no, I mean what local team you cheer for."

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Well, I used to be a bit of a Bonneville fan. But that was before the league fell apart. I quit following them."

"Isn't it a shame?" Jean-Luc raised his eyebrow, as if waiting for Samuel to take the bait.

"Yeah, Reçuecian soccer's really gone downhill."

Jean-Luc sprang his trap. "Aha! I thought that's what you'd say!"

"I don't get it--everybody thinks that. Hardly anyone follows the sport here anymore."

"That's exactly my point! Okay, hear me out."

"I've got work to do."

"No, no--this isn't about football. Well, it is. But it's about the mayor's office."

"How's that?" Brèas swiveled his chair to face Jean-Luc.

"Okay, so you know how the Mayor said we should be on the look-out for a wave of popular opinion to ride? I think I've found it."

"I don't see it. What's this wave you're talking about?"

"Here, listen. I've seen it everywhere lately. Yesterday, in that speech about the downturn of Reçuecian internal tourism. Getting a national soccer league up and running again would fix that. I saw it when I had to shoo off those kids playing football outside the chamber--they were all talking about foreign teams, foreign players--no one mentioned anyone from Reçueçn. On TV in the pub yesterday--I couldn't find any Reçueçn games on; they were only showing UICA matches. This was everywhere I looked--and we're talking about the preliminary rounds! Nobody gives a damn about the preliminary rounds! And yet they took broadcast slots away from domestic games!

"Then I had this conversation with some executive staffer I met there. He was saying the same thing you were--the sport's fallen apart here since the league disbanded, someone should do something about it, etc. Then on the news today at lunch, I saw a segment about teams here saying they can't stay afloat without the league. Plus they interviewed fans. Everybody's saying the same thing: the game's fallen apart and someone's got to save it."

Brèas still seemed skeptical. "Ok, sure. But how in the world are you going to use people's discontentment with soccer development to win political points? If someone's trying to bring back the RNFL, then that's the RNFA's job, and the organization's been essentially defunct for years. Plus, they're basically apolitical. They've got nothing to do with the Mayor's office, or the Chamber."

Jean-Luc was getting excited, gesturing with his hands. "No, don't you see? We can get the government involved! The problem with the RNFA is that no one's holding them accountable! They let the league fall apart, and no one could do anything! We wouldn't let any other business of that size just collapse like that without the government stepping in."

"Ok, sure, but it doesn't really fit under the government's jurisdiction. We don't have any say over sporting events."

"That's what I'm saying! We need to change that! We need to establish something new, give us the power to oversee the league and keep it afloat!"

"So what, like expand the power of the minister of the interior or something? Give the ministry a new department?"

"No, you're still not thinking big enough! I'm saying we need a new ministry! A Ministry of Sport!"

Brèas stared at him, his mouth open. "Do you realize what you're saying? That's never been done before! That's totally unprecedented! You're trying to get this initiative rolling from the ground up? There's no movement to capitalize on! You'd have to do everything! You're crazy!"

"It's not nearly as crazy as it sounds! Anyone you talk to will lament where football is in Reçueçn today. Any effort to get a league running again would have support across the nation! It crosses partisan boundaries, regional, linguistic boundaries--plus, a big project like that is exactly what we need to get us out of this political summer doldrum that's hurting our perception."

"I don't know... you're pretty convincing. What makes me believe you most is that even if I think that, professionally, it's a crazy idea, as a sports fan, I suddenly really want to see this happen. So if I feel that way, I know others do too... why don't you write up the concept and send it to Beçonailles, see what the Mayor thinks?"

"I'll do that."

---

By the time Jean-Luc's work day was over, he'd written up a very detailed proposal and sent it to the Mayor. If he was serious about this, it would be a lot of work. Thanks to the way Reçueçn's convoluted constitution was set up, creating a new federal ministry--something which had never been done before--would need the consent of the House of Lords and the Mayoral Chamber, but also the unanimous ratification of each regional assembly throughout each one of the Allied States. This meant a massive legislative effort in the Central Legislature, combined with a nation-wide publicity and opinion campaign. Many smaller legal initiatives would have only required a super-majority of the regional legislatures (each one of which was different and operated in a different way), but a chage this massive would require unanimity. Jean-Luc needed a lot of confidence to believe that a strong love of football pervaded the entire country, and that such a sentiment could motivate such a big political undertaking, but he had that confidence, and in spades. This was his passion.

That done, Jean-Luc thought he deserved to treat himself to a drink again tonight. He didn't really want to go out alone, however, so he was walking through the halls of the legislature when he ran into the staffer he'd met yesterday evening. He was accompanied by a woman in a business suit, wearing an access pass for the legislature around her neck. Jean-Luc assumed she was some sort of temporary staffer.

Rougemont smiled at Jean-Luc. "Monsieur Lassalle! What a surprise running into you again so soon!"

"Nice to see you!"

"Nice to see you too! Monsieur Lassalle, this is Mademoiselle Chartray, a friend of mine."

Miss Chartray shook Jean-Luc's hand. "Enchantée."

"Enchanté."

"We were just going to head out for an apéro, I don't know if you'd like to join us?" asked Rougemont.

"I'd love to! That is, if I'm not intruding."

"No, not at all!"

Rougemont seemed genuine. Jean-Luc wondered if perhaps he was being used as a third wheel to stop this from being a date between the pair. He wasn't too bothered though--they both seemed nice enough, and Rougemont seemed like a friendly guy. Plus, by his experience, a lot of the executive and legislative staff people were pretty interesting conversationalists. And if he was too uncomfortable, he could always make up some excuse.

"Well thank you! Where were you thinking of going?"

Soon enough the trio had found a nice little bar-restaurant and having found seats outside, had ordered drinks and some light appetizers.

"So tell me, Mr. Lassalle, what is it you do?" asked Chartray.

"I work for the Mayor of Beçonailles."

"What does that mean?"

"It's a lot of pretty mundane stuff--reports and analysis on debate in the Chamber, assisting constituents--it's all pretty typical."

"You don't make your job sound particularly interesting!"

"Oh it is! Sure, sometimes its just basic office work, but the Mayor's got enough staff that most of the time he can let us choose projects we're passionate about."

"That's good, then."

"Yeah, it is! I've got one I'm particularly excited about right now."

Chartray looked intrigued. "What's that?"

"Well, I don't know if the Mayor's going to go through with it yet. I just sent him a proposal for it today. But basically--I don't know if you're much of a football fan?"

"Used to be, just a bit, when we had the National League."

"Sure. That's the same boat everybody's in. But since the league folded, the sport's really gone downhill. I want to establish a new government ministry so that things like that can get some direct oversight, maybe some funding, and get moving again. I think the benefit for the country would be enormous."

Rougemont had been listening, but the mention of a new government ministry had particularly piqued his interest. "Wow, you really mean an entirely new ministry?"

"Yes! It would be a big step, sure, but I think a big idea like that can really motivate people."

"Huh. It would be hard to pull off, for sure, but I don't think it's a bad idea."

"How long has this plan been in motion?" Chartray asked.

"It's not," Jean-Luc said. "I just sent a proposal to the Mayor today outlining my ideas, but it's really just a new idea I happened to have, and the Mayor was looking for ideas, so I figured, why not suggest it to him? The worst he can say is no."

"What if he says yes? What would happen then?"

"Well, I imagine we'd have to start reaching out to other Mayors and representatives to see if we could get some kind of draft written and endorsed. Plus we'd need to start a sizable publicity campaign across the country to be ready for the eventual ratification that would be necessary."

Chartray was clearly just as caught up by the idea as Jean-Luc was. She asked a few more questions, all very practical and direct. Would the budget allow a totally new ministry? Did he think it was justified? Did he think it would have enough public support? What kind of authority would the new ministry have? How long might the process take? Obviously he was inspired by his love for soccer--but if the new ministry was the ministry of sport, what other influence might it have? Jean-Luc answered all the questions as best he could. He was happy to talk about his idea--it almost felt like he was being interviewed, and that made it feel like it was a real project, something that might actually happen. Rougemont seemed to like the idea too, asking his own questions, or even making alternate suggestions at times.

Eventually, the topic was gradually exhausted. Chartray excused herself--she had remembered she had one more stop in town before she could head home, so she had to leave early. Rougemont and Jean-Luc were left alone to finish their drinks before they followed her example.

"Good for you, Lassalle!" said Rougemont. "She really seemed to like your idea! I bet she went back to the office to jot down the beginning of an article on it."

"An article?" Jean-Luc was confused.

"Yeah. Oh, did I not mention where she works? She writes one of the big politics columns for the Reçueçn Times."

Jean-Luc's confusion turned to incredulity. "Really!? I thought she was just some temp staffer!"

"Hahaha! A temp!? No! I'm surprised you didn't recognize her! Jeanne Chartray is one of the biggest political voices in the country!"

[Torisakia]

Date: Current day, Current year - 12:43PM TST
Location: Tokai Municipal Court, Tokai, Torisakia
Topic: Court hearing for Mr. Bortmorvius Stevens v. Torisakia

Persons involved:
Bortmorvius "Bort" Stevens - the defendant, acting as his own lawyer
The people of Torisakia - the prosecution
Oak Ratiis - the prosecution's representative & lawyer
Cambia Sennavet - presiding judge

TRANSCRIPT

Both Bort Stevens and Oak Ratiis walk down the aisle of the court room. They reach their respective tables and repeatedly slam their briefcases on them.

JUDGE: Mr. Stevens?

Stevensand Ratiis continue to slam their briefcases on the tables. Judge Sennavet looks at them in offense and awe. She grabs her gavel and slams it down.

JUDGE: ORDER in the court!

She slams her gavel down multiple more times in rapid succession while also making deep mouth noises.

JUDGE: Mr. Ratiis, your opening statement?

RATIIS: Statement? He looks confused.

JUDGE: Mr. Stevens, your opening statement?

Stevens gets up from his chair and walks towards the judge's podium.

STEVENS: Your honor. This is a black thing isn't it? I don't have a big BUTT like my worthy adversary Oak Ratiis. He walks towards Ratiis' table where he's sitting. But what I do have is thE BUBUBUBU He slams his hands down on the table violently. Ratiis stands up quickly in a fit of rage.

RATIIS: OH SHUSH!

JUDGE: ORDER in the court! She slams her gavel down twice. Stetson walks back up to the judge.

JUDGE: How did it go down, Mr. Stevens?

STEVENS: I'm glad you asked me that question. Check it out. Now this is a story all about this young boy who lived in Tokai. And he was the prettiest little boy you'd ever seen in your life. And he got an email from this filthy McRotten dude, and he wanted him to abbreviate unpronounceable names, right? So one day the dude was about to get it on, right? The young boy said "No, you can burn in hell and I'm trained in over 700 ways to kick your ass". So the nasty dude snatch off into his-

JUDGE: That's enough! She slams her gavel down again. I don't think we need to go any further. All the evidence presented has been against you. So I find you guilty of trolling and sentence you to death by electric chair. She slams her gavel down one last time. Court dismissed.

STEVENS: (Visibly confused) Wha-? No evidence has been presented we just started? The jury hasn't even deliberated yet. This isn't fair!

JUDGE: The 4th amendment of the Guide of Rights states that you have the right to a speedy trial. I have to pick my son up from school in 30 minutes and I need this trial to be extra speedy. We're done here. I need some soup. She gets up from her podium and begins to walk off.

Everyone in the courtroom gets up to leave as if the case really is over. Stevens is looking around confused as all hell.

BAILIFF: Come on bud we're taking you back to the prison. He moves behind Stevens to try and handcuff him. Stevens pulls away.

STEVENS: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! He runs across the courtroom and jumps out of the window behind the judge's podium.

The courtroom patrons scream and gasp in horror as they realize that they were on the 7th floor.

BAILIFF: Aw man. That's the third one this week. I need to get a new job.

END TRANSCRIPT

[Nephara]

Nephara 1 - 1 Kandonica
(4-4-2 / 4-4-1) 1 - Swoboda; 2 - Kielseng, 5 - Thorn, 6 - Steelhenge (c), 19 - Rouphos; 7 - Fanaiyan (s/o 17'), 15 - Rosenthal, 8 - Chalk (21 - Moxham 67'), 16 - Deventer (11 - Strongbow 71'); 23 - Breremond, 17 - Bastable (9 - Hawke 58')
Goal: Kielseng 51'

Sometimes a game was just... shit. It happened sometimes. That was the nature of international football. Sometimes the grass seemed too long, sometimes the wind seemed to blow against you the whole game, sometimes the opposing goalkeeper had a world-beating match. And in this case, sometimes Ishtar Fanaiyan hacks down an opponent in a moderately naughty way early on and the referee assumes that any thought in his mind that this is a yellow-card offense is caving to the jeering crowd insisting it was somehow a dive, and sometimes the card turns up red, and sometimes that leaves a team short a man defending a corner, leaving a big man open to heave home a thumping header, and sometimes leaves a team struggling for fluency in attack when a two-striker system sees one of their number shunted across into the right wing, where he'd been tested without much joy last game. He would be tested there without much joy this game, too.

Daniella Strauss wasn't the type to panic. This was turning into her first setback of a stint in charge that so far ran: played five, won five, scored twenty-one, conceded seven. But it wasn't about the good times, it couldn't be forever. At some stage, it was always going to become a matter of how one dealt with things going wrong.
"Boss," said Fanaiyan, freshly showered. "You gotta know, I barely even touched that guy-"
Strauss smiled at her. It wasn't her training-ground smile. It was her 'sit down and don't speak until spoken to' smile.
Fanaiyan sat down. She did not speak until spoken to.
Strauss cleared her throat, and looked across the rest of the team. She spoke briskly, but firmly. Kept people focused, kept their heads up. Play their game and they'd win this.

And, hell, they did. They pulled themselves together, thrilled the expectant crowd at Godswatch with some slick passing and confident movement, and sure, it was missing a little end product. But some was provided by, somehow, Eloise Kielseng, who drove inside to pick up possession from Breremond and leathered the ball into the bottom corner.
But the Cormorants weren't just looking to equalise, and this was also not a time when Strauss could tolerate errors. Soon afterwards, Bastable flashed a presentable chance high and wide, got four more minutes to redeem himself (which he did not), and was hooked for Estrella Hawke. Chalk struggled under the pressure of the team's entire creative burden, and was hooked for Moxham, an egomaniac who loved the pressure of the team's entire creative burden. Chalk stalked away with the quiet seethe of someone who knew he'd let a chance to assert himself slip between his fingers. Morena Deventer, a trifle too cute for the need of the situation, was dragged off soon enough, too, with the more direct Rowena Strongbow coming on.
And yet all this star power meant nothing if they couldn't get a goal. And Kandonica were playing the game of their lives, hurling bodies in front of each strike.
"You almost have to admire the pricks," mused Anita Sanger from the bench.
"Not while they're costing us points, I fucking don't," muttered third-choice 'keeper Tsattalios.
Strongbow forced a spectacular save. Hawke hit a post. A towering header from Dragora Steelhenge sent a corner rattling into the crossbar. Breremond tried a little too hard to win a penalty, and probably lost the call as a result.
But the scoreline refused to change, and Strauss was left to try and track down the opposing manager, already jubilantly celebrating out on the pitch, with her twitching hand passive-aggressively outstretched.

But she could be a good loser - and this was a defeat in all but words and single point - in private. She talked a good game, got the pressure off them. They'd reacted well in the second half, and they really had, after all. Nine times out of ten they claw back that game. This was a bad turn. They couldn't let this make them doubt themselves, right? Couldn't let this fester.
24 hours to reflect, then let it fall away like water off a perching cormorant's wings.
They took it well, Strauss figured. Relieved not to be in for a bollocking. There hadn't been a want of effort, only of inspiration and a little bit of luck. Better drop this game out of nowhere than have lost to serious contenders like Ethane or Geisenfried, even though this match somehow left unfancied Kandonica in third place.
Players filtered out, until soon Strauss was left alone with Bryony Johansen, the almost apologetic figure of the assistant manager.
She cleared her throat. "Ahh, boss. Good to go, you think?"
"They're gone, right? Aren't they?"
"Uhm, yes, boss, b--"
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 4
Goalkeepers: 1 - Andreas Swoboda (Holdenberg, EUR), 12 - Hesterine Mercator (Eastweald, COS), 20 - Apostolos Tsattalios (Falourr, EUR)
Defenders: 2 - Eloise Kielseng (Kingsgrove, BRE), 3 - Marcin Close (Brinemouth), 5 - Roxelana Thorn (Revolutionaries, EUR), 6 - Dragora Steelhenge (Ramusok United, COS), 18 - Anita Sanger (Rammsissil, VIL), 19 - Nike Rouphos (Chenoworth Harriers), 22 - Ilyana Brosch (AFC Corvistone)
Midfielders: 4 - Tawny Shone (Sabrefell Moths), 7 - Marica Kuepper (Jungle Strike, VIL), 8 - Rusalka Klein (Crawford City FC, COS), 11 - Marisha Staunton (Crisisbless), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 15 - Evangeline Aschenbach (Starling), 16 - Morena Deventer (Brinemouth), 21 - Chimera Moxham (Crawford City FC, COS)
Forwards: 9 - Estrella Hawke (Directus, EUR, c), 10 - Aristide Metzger (AFC Treason), 14 - Arista Tzorvas (Olympic Thessia, MYT), 17 - Kurtis Bastable (Hornchurch, EUR), 23 - Cheney Breremond (Vermillion Rage)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 5 - 3 Orion Islands @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Ethane 1 - 3 Nephara
[Bye] (Friendly: Ceyne Isles 1 - 3 Nephara)
Nephara 6 - 0 No @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Geisenfried 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Kandonica @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Geektopia vs. Nephara
Orion Islands vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ethane @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
[Bye]
No vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Geisenfried @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Kandonica vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Geektopia @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)

[Brenecia]

To hosts: if permitted, the Brenecian modifier is shifting to +2 for the remainder of the cycle.

Damukuni 6 - 3 Brenecia
(4-4-2 / 4-2-3-1) 1 - Calhoun; 2 - Broxham, 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Varney, 3 - Quill; 15 - Cheney, 21 - Case (4 - Alweather 65'), 13 - Wheeler, 11 - Keynes (16 - Fletcher 80'); 9 - Riordan, 10 - Ciogach (8 - Matheson 61')
Goals: Riordan 19' 76', Cheney 51'

Jim Reid was a creature of habit. If he was going down, he was going down his way.
The team-sheet caused some stirs. Two veterans slammed back into the spine of the team, the goalkeeper Calhoun and the centre-half Heneghan. Case could do the job in the centre with Wheeler, he knew they could. Crowther was dropped, as well. She'd struggled to make an impact in her more withdrawn position. But Brenecians were optimistic. Reid was their miracle man. Reid would get the job done. He'd get the lads stirred up, he'd rally them 'round, he'd sort out the defence. Like always.
But Reid's faith in himself was wavering. He was starting to second-guess himself. And that... that couldn't be fixed. And when Darvish lashed in a strike from distance past a sluggish Calhoun, when Tracey's nous get her to just the right position lurking inside the box to stab home a centre from Auni... when Riordan's flashed header was returned within two minutes by a free kick from the creaking Tracey. When Ueshiba dragged a low strike across Calhoun to make it 4-1 by half-time.
Yeah, no. There was no coming back from that. Steadying himself in his office, two hours after the match, with his third glass of whiskey as he drafted his resignation, he almost absently picked up the phone as it rang, to tell him he'd been fired.
That was handy. This way, the compensation would bring in a fair bit of cash.

There were two factions within the BFA, which was, frankly, fewer than normally managed to set themselves in opposition.
Faction one, the salvagers, believed that the Patriots needed to win their next four games - mostly very manageable, but Polkopia away loomed as a serious threat - to set themselves some momentum before Hapilopper away and Damukuni at home. Basically, win all the rest of their games and they could probably get themselves the playoff place, at least. And they'd be among the favourites to win that. The salvagers wanted someone with a proven record of results, someone who could set up a strict defensive unit and hammer a side into shape, fast. The salvagers wanted Erin Camden.
Faction two, the reformers, believed that the Patriots needed to be rebuilt from the ground up. More changes, not reactive but active. A new plan. A new blueprint. And new blood to perform it. Guys like Calhoun and Heneghan, their day was over. Who would step up and replace them? The reformers wanted someone who could put dreams into action, someone who could get them competing in another two, three years. The reformers wanted Erin Camden.
Oh. Well, that was easy then, wasn't it?

"I'm telling you I don't want the fucking job, mate." Camden stubbed her cigarette in the ashtray. She was a tall, athletic sort who honestly looked as though she could still do a job on the pitch, greying hair or no. "I came here, right, because I thought you were serious."
"We are serious," pleaded the BFA chairwoman, Irene Cutler. She'd vouched for Camden shortly before everyone else had vouched for Camden.
"With that sort of pay packet? For this pressure? The job's thankless. Me, my stock's high as it's ever gonna be, and ah. Overturning this shitshow?"
"You can do it, though. I mean, if anyone can-"
Camden put up a finger. "Look, I needed a holding midfielder, I phoned up the boss, I say, 'hey, slam down fifteen mil on the table and get me Capodanno. I need a holding midfielder with you blokes, I... what, I wait like four years, see if maybe Townsend comes good? Nah, I'm not doing it. I'm not fuckin' doing it."

Not so easy, then. And the near-universal backup plan, Tailtiu Brennan, also figured she had a cushy thing going with Mriin. Mriin, whose three wins on the spin had set them up pretty well for qualification after a poor start. She didn't even give them an interview, though at least she was polite while turning them down.
Now the plans diverged. Now everyone had their own idea. Derdriu Wright? Nah, too young, too inexperienced. Jess Curtin? Even moreso. The salvagers wanted Aidan Brosque, until recently of the Nepharim national team, who turned out to demand ... more money than Camden had, far more than the budget allowed for. Typical fucking Nepharim mercenary.
The compromise candidate wound up being a guy called Brelk-Xeral Erv. Qusmi'y, of course. Only 44, but with a fair track record. Someone who turned floundering defensive teams into successful offensive ones. Someone who won things with shit teams.
They rocked up. They rocked up with a clipboard and a PowerPoint, a PowerPoint with a lot of diagrams and arrows. They talked excitedly about Brenecia's younger, less-heralded talent. They talked about Keziah Locke like she was the solution to the Patriots' ills, and, you know, to hear them say it, the sceptical greybeards of the BFA could almost believe they believed it.
And their wage demands were actually reasonable. So, that was a done deal, then.

The Brenecian press had never particularly liked Jim Reid. In fairness, Jim Reid had never particularly liked the Brenecian press. So the events of the next few days of uncertainty, preceding Brelk-Xeral's appointment, were... surprising.
They dogpiled the BFA. Almost without a dissenting voice. Even those who admitted that results had taken a turn for the worse a couple of years back had said that the right thing to do would've been agreeing a mutual termination before the cycle, let a fresh head take things over then. Many took the angle that Reid was only doing what he could with the abject failure of the next generation in front of him.
Mostly, though, they were willing to revisit the past. The three trophies in three years - the World Cup, the Campionato Esportiva, the Cup of Champions. Three surreal years when the Patriots, a bunch of mediocre shithouses, were somehow unstoppable. When the mere act of a spoiling defensive block seemed an immovable object in the face of the world's suddenly resistable force. Did it really matter that pretty much nothing good had happened since?
No matter what had come after, Jim Reid would always have the Stadii di Bradini in Jhanna, and the two hundred thousand who watched on with him as Catherine Gryphon lifted the trophy.
And so too did Brenecia. That would be their legacy together, and it was a truly magnificent one to share.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 4
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cass Farrell (Northern Union), 12 - Lachlan Kenway (Vidial Alchemists, MRN), 20 - Scanlan Pritchard (Marque)
Defenders: 2 - Keziah Broxham (Mallox, COS), 3 - Gethin Quill (Revolutionaries, EUR), 5 - Garrett Horgan (Northern Union), 6 - Keane Mathers (Northern Stallions), 18 - Erica Weaver (North Hall), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Crystal Fair HC, CRY), 22 - Chadwick Beath (CA Paulinthal, PAS)
Midfielders: 4 - Keziah Locke (Duke of the North, PAS), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR), 13 - Corby Wheeler (Goldstaff City, COS), 14 - Claire Ruskin (Kingsgrove), 21 - Falcon Case (Barbury Town, APX), 23 - Catsidhe Alweather (Eastal Lunar, VIL)
Forwards: 7 - Lauren Cheney (Kingsgrove), 9 - Griffin Riordan (Klyde, COS), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Southern Star), 11 - Cathal Keynes (Lajuno, EUR), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Northern Union), 16 - Ceridwen Fletcher (North Hall), 17 - Creidne Lindauer (Kingsgrove)

SCHEDULE
Islas Aaland 0 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 1 Polkopia
Lepolanatnessffiria 0 - 3 Brenecia
[Bye] (Friendly: Ceyne Isles 0 - 3 Brenecia)
Brenecia 0 - 3 Hapilopper
Damukuni 6 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Bolgano
Brenecia vs. Islas Aaland
Polkopia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Lepolanatnessffiria
[Bye]
Hapilopper vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Damukuni
Bolgano vs. Brenecia

[The Sarian]

SIR,

I have had to take drastic action in regards to the nation formerly known as 'The Sarian'. As you will be aware that we had previously had to take mitigating action in order to prevent a potential timeline destroying event with impacts for the entire dimension. Since then, I have been working as a liaison as part of our monitoring mission and I am sad to report that further action is necessary.

I attach a copy of a local newspaper report, regarding a recent association football match. As you will be able to see, it is patently nonsense. It is my judgement that this precedes a wider collapse with potentially drastic consequences for both the nation and the wider multiverse. Thus, upon consultation with the rest of the New Saria Monitoring Mission, the following cause of action has been agreed and implemented:

• The people of The Sarian (currently known as New Saria) have been moved to a new planet.
• This has been achieved with no known disruption to the displaced people.
• We have managed to create a false consciousness that the journey was made several generations ago; this completes a retcon of the previous created conscious surrounding the doom of The Sarian.
• In order to avoid errors made in the previous consciousness, we have created a full timeline so as to not peak suspicion.
• There is no ambiguity about the 'events' which led to the modern Sari existence. The fact that this is a false timeline should never be discovered.
• No person shall have a memory of living in the former The Sarian nor on New Saria.
• No person who shouldn't be alive, but survived in the previous timeline, has continued into the new timeline.

Due to the completeness of these actions, I propose that the monitoring mission of The Sarian be dissolved. The multiverse shall never know of our actions here.

Regards,

Multiverse Monitor #331999

[Port Ember]

As Port Ember's Trident's are currently having a off period from the qualifier run due to a series of off days in the schedule combined with a bye for match day 10, the team is alternating between light fieldwork and some well deserved quality rest periods, spend with their families and loved ones. The only two members of the team not willing or able to rest was Coach Baxter and his assistant Connor Davies. For them the pressure to make a success in the qualifiers was a bit too much to actually allow them of calm and rest.

The two men were seated in Coach Baxter's office, sharing a cup of strong coffee - so strong in fact that it could kill a lesser man - and some strong conversation.

Coach Baxter: Connor, I am close to my wits end here. We have started off so well, but we keep going back and forth. We need a change here brother. We need a miracle to get back into this thing. I cannot for the life of me accept that we will possibly fail, throwing away five years of hard work. FIVE years Connor!!

Connor: I hear ya coach and I feel the same way. We have come to far and paid to steep a price to just fade away as failures. The lads are brilliant and talented - they deserve their spot in the limelight.

Coach Baxter: Could not agree more. This lads have worked their asses of for 5 years, devoting themselves to this dammed sport. They have sacrificed their entire lives for the sport. They gave up on their academic careers, and even their families and possible love lives for this team. If we fail as a team, these lads have nothing to turn to. Nothing. We need a miricale to get back into the runnings of thid qualifier.

Connor: Not a miricale friend. Those wont save us here. What could save us... is a fresh perspective to the game...

Coach Baxter: Fresh..? Are you questioning my system Connor? Tread very carefully...

Connor: No I am not questioning the system. The system works. What I am sugessting is a simple.. tweak to the system. A slight upgrade if you wish..

Coach Baxter: Usually I would punch your teeth out for such hyrassy. But I am desperate enough.. Amuse me?

Connor: Its a simple idea really. We play our signature bait ambush play in the first half as always, but with extra tenacity.. We go out of our way to tire out our opponents, allow them to launch attack after attack, let them make themselves tired.. we just defend and launch an appropriate counter attack where we can..

But in the second half you give a core group of my subs a chance. They then play the ultra offensive game, against an already tired opposition. We already saw Carevello attempt that, and it worked. If we get the entire team onboard with his playstyle, it'l work. So in essence, allow Reddington to lead the team the old way, but allow Carvello to do his magic in the second half. Give my subs a chance coach. They are ready.

Coach Baxter remained quite for some time, deep in thought.

Coach Baxter: Fine Connor. Lets try your way for our next match. It better not dissapoint..

[Ko-oren]

The Numbers Game - by "Lunaro" Tsukida

Hi everyone, this time we're halfway through qualifying as far as the Dragonflies are concerned. The table is only going to change for the worse as our rivals pick up points but we are obviously stuck at our current level. Ko-oren are 4-2-0 (blaze it) and have three points on second place Eura. With a win, Eura will take over first place again, given they'll also have 14 points at that point and a goal difference that is at least the same as ours, only they have conceded more goals which is apparently a plus in today's football.

Eura's league hardly needs a mention. Everyone knows that they boast one of the best systems of the multiverse and are only something we can look up to for now. Their national team follows suit and they're almost always at the party - Ko-oren usually ends up on the outside, looking in, from the faraway Cup of Harmony. To make this our year, Ko-oren needs to keep the current form up. My complaints still stand: the back line doesn't diversify enough talent-wise and Theshendan isn't the right man for the team right now. Other than that, the attack and its effectiveness surprises me. If you want to know more about Eura's team, you might as well watch their domestic games. Most of the team operates in Eura, and all the Champions' Cup's big names are there. Ulsa, Spartangrad, Holdenberg, Directus... and the ones that play abroad are earning their money in Farfadillis, Nephara, Valanora, etcetera... that's not just a tier away from us, it's like they play a different sport.

And yet, the match ended, 2-2. A shootout, and Ko-oren matched the pace of their opponents. The Dragonflies are doing pretty well, and they look a very different team in possession compared to previous years. Often, when in possession, Ko-oren tries to hold on to the ball for as long as possible, and only launch an attack when it's absolutely clear that there's an advantage to be exploited - and that exploit needs to be found by Longchambon, because the rest won't do it. Once Longchambon finds space or creates some for others, that player must find the lone striker. How different is the current team, where Longchambon finds support in Janoreirinthen who doesn't mind searching for a mismatch. Vaugrenard isn't the lone striker up front but does most of the scoring, playing much the same role as Longchambon as a creator of chances. Tsuchida, whom I think still isn't the right striker, it should be Noya, but Tsuchida handles the opposition well and mostly just gets out of the way of the creative three behind him. I'll also note that the plan of having five defenders when defending and four when in possession - the fifth defender going up as a defensive midfielder or a playmaker - is currently frozen. It looked so promising, finally a tactical development coming from the archipelago. Still, Juliasterinthen banks on the creativity of three men, and a big fat bus parked at all times. Let's see how this goes... going for individual quality over strategy. It certainly is a first in Ko-orenite football.

Winners of the first half:
Unranked nations doing well: Ariwana, Benjamin Mark, Koyoland, Ouna, Reçueçn, Saintland
Tornado Queendom (3rd place, over 41st Filindostan)
Spensar (312th, sitting in 2nd)
Bongo Johnson: they already have 6 games played: 18 points. Hard to argue with.
Reçueçn might be that new competitor going to the World Cup on their first or second try.
Saintland feels weird to type in this category. Has it been this long?

Flavovespia is just out of the first category: they're doing fine but they're a long way behind already. The difference between MD1 Flavovespia and MD7 Flavovespia is massive, though. Hard to underestimate at this point.

Losers of the first half:
1st/2nd pot teams doing bad: Filindostan, Sargossa, Drawkland, Kita-Hinode, Brenecia, Abanhfleft, Qasden, Valladares, Main Nation Ministry
Pasarga, Zwangzug, Barunia: they're all 4-0-1 and all doing well (ok, maybe Barunia less so) but one of them will have to settle for nothing
Sargossa and Drawkland are in the same group and both are out of the top 2.
Kita-Hinode: what are they on?
Sherpa Empire: they've been rising for years, but now they suddenly forgot how to win.
Qasden and Valladares: they're in the same group! This was supposed to be the cycle where you're lucky your closest opponent is doing poor. Instead we have Reçueçn, which makes for a better story, however.

My favourite group is J. It has all the nations we like to see get beaten up, Darmen, Taeshan and Mytanija. I won't lie, I would have loved to be in this one. Three leagues that deserve more coverage, too. Mytanija are back after a long absence but had an absolute monster first season back - it's clear they didn't stop play altogether while they were out of UICA. The same talent is back at it, with a chip on their shoulder, lifting Mytanija back into the top 50 leagues within two seasons. That first season back gave them more points than Ko-oren have... ever. Darmen and Taeshan have well-established leagues, and Taeshan might even challenge the top 10 this season or the next. For how much we view these nations as rivals, Ararat from Mytanija is a fun club to watch and they completely obliterated everyone's expectations with their first season - and as a result I watch this team about 4-5 times a year. Quality viewing, as long as you can find a decent stream. Darmen has all the familiar clubs, given that their highlights are sometimes even aired on regular TV in Ko-oren. Sterling City United is probably my favourite bandwagon pick, but everyone knows it's all all Hugh Town Millionaires. Darmen is a must-watch league anyway, given the amount of Ko-orenite players that have made their way there and are... actually doing quite well for themselves. Didn't see that coming. From the trio, Taeshan is the best league but also the biggest unknown for me, I'll have to admit. Hard to find a watchable stream, and I even had to work with just radio sometimes, but that's on me. I'm a 1093 CF Atlantea boy - or Atlantean for short.

Ouna is a fun one to mention, given they're small yet well-covered league that Ko-oren has a small say in. Their national team is doing pretty well, and a few players might be interesting to keep an eye on, given that they might play for Maynard some day. Magdalene Buchanan, Maynard owner, has taken over the Trawadea Knights. The Knights are first in their league, while Maynard have finished 12th out of 12 for the third year running. An odd combination, now that it looks like the smaller club is way outperforming the bigger club - a strange dilemma for Buchanan. The Knights are selling out stadiums, so at this point do you rob them of their talent for your main moneymaker? At the same time, Maynard could send some fringe players to the Knights for evaluation. Anyway, they're working together and Ouna's success feels like a bit of Ko-orenite success as well.

[Terre Septentrionale]

Chancellor Sheldon Koivu forms his cabinet

Ville Jacques-Cartier, District of Cartier - Yesterday, Sheldon Koivu officially became the 27th chancellor of la République de Terre Septentrionale and he has also revealed his cabinet. The Coalition Avenir Solidaire's rising star Catherine Moquin has been appointed Vice Chancellor and Minister of Science. At 31 years old, she's the youngest woman to become Vice-Chancellor in Terre Septentrionale. The Minister of State (foreign affairs) is Włodzimierz Oczkowski, it's no surprise here, as everyone knows in politic circles that foreign affairs are his thing, though some could have thought he would be Vice-Chancellor. The Minister of National Defense is 72 years old Ted Hancock who has been elected for a 12th consecutive mandate. Martyna Wyzykowska inherits an important department, she's now the Minister of Homeland Security, Border Control and Coast Guard. The President of the Treasury Board, which reviews and approves government spendings, is Zdzislaw Kaczyński. The Minister of International Trade and Developpment is François Carson while the Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs and Internal Trade is Zrinka Kovačević. Fatima El-Zayat is the Minister of Immigration and Citizenship and she now has full control on whoever gets Septentrionale citizenship. The Minister of Recreation and Sport is Jean-Sébastien Lepitre. Funny thing... Kristina Bacon has been appointed Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. Here's the complete list of all ministers of the 58th legislature:

Chancellor of the Republic	                                Sheldon Koivu
Vice-chancellor	                                                Catherine Moquin
Minister of State (foreign affairs)	                        Włodzimierz Oczkowski
Minister of National Defense	                                Ted Hancock
Minister of Homeland Security, Border Control and Coast Guard	Martyna Wyzykowska
Minister Responsible for Government Administration 	        Ginette Blanchette
Minister Delegate for Government Digital Transformation	        Jean-Philippe Tran
President of the Treasury Board	                                Zdzislaw Kaczyński
Minister of Recreation and Sport	                        Jean-Sébastien Lepitre
Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs and Internal Trade	Zrinka Kovačević
Minister of International Trade and Developpment	        François Carson
Minister of Finance	                                        Geneviève Soucy
Minister of Economy and Innovations	                        Clint McClurg
Minister of Justice and Attorney General	                Mieczyslaw Swierczynski
Minister of Culture, Communications and National Heritage	Paul-André Lebrasseur
Minister of Transports	                                        Zoran Kek
Minister of Immigration and Citizenship	                        Fatima El-Zayat
Minister of Education and Higher Education	                Natalia Krukowska
Minister of Health 	                                        Sylvie Pronovost
Minister of Social Services and Social Solidarity	        Catalina Santiago
Minister of Environment and Fight Against Climate Changes	Louis-Jean Bédard
Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food	                Kristina Bacon
Minister of Forest, Wildlife and National Parks	                Michel Bouchard
Minister of Energy and natural Ressources	                Weronika Rodowicz
Minister of Rural Economic Development	                        Nikola Rajić
Minister of Labour and Employment	                        Rick O'Hara
Minister of National Revenue	                                Boguslawa Majkowska
Minister of Science	                                        Catherine Moquin
Minister of Infrastructure and Housing	                        Mario Lépine
Minister of Democratic Institutions and Fight Against Corruption Kazimierz Dombrowski
Minister of Relations with Native Peoples	                Ghislain Pineault
Minister of Tourism	                                        Méganne L'Écuyer
Minister of Official Languages and Francophonie	                Pierre-Antoine Krzykowski
Minister of Seniors	                                        Gilles Phaneuf
Minister of Women and  Gender Equality	                        Katalin Szabolcsi
Minister of Family and Children	                                Wladyslawa Bartkowiak
Leader of Government in the National Assembly	                Pauline Véronneau
	
Speaker of the national Assembly	                        Urszula Kieliszewska
Chief Justice	                                                Gaston Touchette

Following the announcement of his cabinet, Chancellor Sheldon Koivu spoke to the nation:

"This year in 2024, Terre Septentrionale will face new challenges. The previous government decided that we're going to open up to the world through sports and signed us up to various tournaments like the World Bowl and the World Cup. Our new minister of Sport and I intend to keep this way and sign up to more tournaments like hockey and baseball World Cup or Classic. But we shouldn't open up only through sports, in the future we'll do more diplomacy stuff with foreign nations. With the collaboration of our Minister of State, Włodzimierz Oczkowski, and our Minister of Official languages and Francophonie, Pierre-Antoine Krzykowski, we signed up to two Francophone organizations, one is the Fraternité des Nations Francophones and the other is The Francosphère Council. Terre Septentrionale also intends to send ambassadors abroad and open foreign embassies in our nation in a close future. 2024 is the year Terre Septentrionale open up to the world!"

Mathieu Lefebvre,
Chief editor in politics,
La tribune septentrionale

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL MAGAZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
BUT IT WORKED IN THE VIDEO GAME SINCE 2006

The new boss, definitely not the old boss
The conclusion to this Kelssek football history feature: see the first part here.

G. Mark Tupper did not like the media referring to him as such. Clearly, he knew the ambiguity of referring to two different people in the same job by the exactly same name was a problem. But as far as he was concerned, it was up to the media to figure out how, as unreasonable as his stance was.

“Even my mum calls me Mark, only my dad calls me Gary. Whatever arguments they had at the birth registry really don’t matter, I’m Mark, and not G. Mark, either,” he once said.

He probably still doesn’t like it, and he’ll probably read this. Sorry, but too bad - the first Mark Tupper doesn’t have a middle name and we can’t write an article about the two of them if we don’t call them by different names.

Football Kelssek accepted this stance and listed him as “Mark Tupper” in all official communications. Newspaper copy editors inside the country mostly ignored this, but a few gave in to the duty-bound badgering of the Football Kelssek press officers. Few outlets outside the country really noticed this, or much cared if Kelssek had a different manager. It’s a big, heartless multiverse out there.

There was early hilarity as G. Mark Tupper believed for about 12 minutes that Kelssek had been drawn to face “A Nazgul” in the World Cup 50 qualifiers. His panicked consultations in the middle of the event with his assistant, and the attempt by that assistant to explain that this was in fact Aguazul, all while trying really hard to keep their voices down, created a YourTube classic.

Overall however, the craziness was mercifully reduced. Except, that is, for the inevitable conspiracy theory that both Mark Tuppers were in fact the same person.

“Well, the differences were pretty obvious to us players. Mark the second - he didn’t care much for that nickname either, by the way - was much better with team talks and always knew how to get us in the right mentality,” said former player Darach Salthill.

But in public, he was much less outspoken than his predecessor, and writers were left despairing at the anodyne quotes he spouted. They began to joke that they could simply copy and paste whatever he said at the last post-match conference into match reports. They stopped joking, and at times simply didn’t bother to quote him anymore, when they began to realize he often literally said the same things to the press regardless of how the match in question had gone.

But if this made life in the media booth more boring, G. Mark Tupper did his talking to the team, and the fans probably enjoyed it much more. In his first cycle in charge, he matched the first Mark Tupper by bringing Kelssek back to the quarterfinals of the World Cup. The following cycle, he finally won Kelssek’s first (and to date only) major trophy, the 43rd Cup of Harmony.

This was the plateau for Kelssek, though of course we didn't know it at the time. A few years later came the administrative debacle of Football Kelssek missing the registration deadline for World Cup 56 and inadvertently letting G. Mark Tupper's contract expire. He came back for the next cycle when Kelssek did manage to send a team, but then the dreaded hiatus struck, ending the brief glory years of Kelssekian international football.

[Apox]

Previous Parts
Part 1, WC82, Part 2, WC82, Part 3, RUWC 27, Part 4, CE 24, Part 5, CE 24, Part 6, WCQs 83, Part 7, WCQs 83, Part 8, WCQs 83

The A.S Puniface was patrolling the waters just off Bellight as they'd heard activity on and around the island had increased dramatically in the last few days. They were just entering their second week patrolling the Mareibatian archipelago and so far had had a pretty easy time of it. They'd docked in Halholzer with no problems, the Mareibat Democratic Party (MDP) having grown in stature and power since the public statement made by Matthias Sindelar. The ship's captain, Veronica Jones, had briefly met with Colwinna Kelly, head of the aforementioned MDP and she'd sought to reassure Kelly that they would help in whatever way possible to help resolve the current crises gripping the nation.

Things had looked quiet on the bridge, giving Veronica the chance to briefly return to her cabin to go over the latest details sent through from Dwile. She was sat, cross-legged on her bunk, some classical music on quietly whilst she went through the days dossier.
'Increased activity on Bellight, the Bellight People's Army have been engaged in combat with the surrounding islands as they seek to expand their sphere of influence. Mareibat harbour master presence is almost non-existent...' She was interrupted by the phone linking with the bridge squawking into life,

"This is Jones."
"Ma'am, there is a small craft approaching, bearing of 030."
"Roger that. I'll be right up."

She hurried back up to the bridge, hurriedly doing up her jacket again. Once on the bridge, she was handed a pair of binoculars by Master of Signals, Horace Mountwater. Sure enough, what looked like a fishing skiff was approaching at speed from the North.

'Why the hell is a boat like that approaching a vessel this size?' she thought. She saw the ensign fluttering from it, it was the black and gold of the Bellight People's Army. Immediately she sprung into action;
"Master of Signals! Bring me the radio. Action stations! We are at action stations." The bridge hurried into life as a midshipman sounded the siren - three piercing wails, repeated, telling the crew to move to their positions. Master of Signals Mountwater hurried up with the handset for the loudspeaker.
"Attempt radio contact with that vessel. I will broadcast with this. They are not to pass us." She spoke into the handset;

"This is Captain Jones of the A.S Puniface. Do not attempt to approach this vessel or we will fire on you. Cease your approach and return to Bellight. Do you copy?"

She paused a moment as the ships engines were pushed up a gear. To her right, Master of Signals Mountwater was attempting to hail the vessel over the radio, but clearly getting no response. She tried again.

"Please tune in to Channel 16. I repeat do not attempt to approach this vessel or we will fire on you. Do you copy?"

There was still no response from the fishing vessel, and it continued to head towards them apace. At this point it couldn't have been more than a kilometre away. She was just about to order a warning shot across its bows when she saw a flash...

Apox 1-0 Koyoland Blake-Tatum 31'
APX: Rasmussen -- Quillisi (Fox 79'), Scott, Lancaster, Storm -- Drawbridge -- Magarhatery, Palmisano. J (c) (Pentameter 67') -- Koyaanisqatsi, Blake-Tatum (Mochan 79'), Euristithanes
KOY: Not provided

A pretty routine win for Apox over the lowest ranked side in the group, although perhaps not as emphatic as it might be. Marcy Blake-Tatum struck midway through the first half with her trademark clinical finishing but it had been a long time coming with Koyoland barely managing to weather wave after wave of Apoxian attacks. Lunar Dusk got to experiment a little with her team selection this game and gave starts to the very talented but mercurial Archibald Koyaanisqatsi and Euristithanes. Both thrived in this environment against a smaller team and Koyoland largely completely failed to control them. Euristithanes should have had a goal in the second haslf to double the Apoxian lead but his shot hit the post and ricocheted out. This win takes Apox back to the top of their qualifying group, undefeated and having only conceded once. If they can beat second placed Acronius in their next match, the team are guaranteed to be at least four points clear going into the second half of qualifying - what a position of strength that would be.

[Mareibat]

Previous Parts
Part 1, WC82, Part 2, WC82, Part 3, RUWC 27, Part 4, CE 24, Part 5, CE 24, Part 6, WCQs 83, Part 7, WCQs 83, Part 8, WCQs 83, Part 9, WCQs 83

The small fishing skiff had only been intending to remind the sizeable Apoxian destroyer in front of it that the people of Mareibat didn't take kindly to foreign meddling in their affairs. As far as the crew were concerned they'd been under an oppressive regime which had done nothing for them in the central government in Halholzer for a long time. This Apoxian influence was just a different shit covered cloth.

However, once they been hailed over the radio, squabbles had broken out on board. Some had suggested they turn around and head back to the safety of Bellight, others had insisted that they carry on with the mission as planned. For Plat Salazar, a fisherman who had previously just about managing to keep his head above water until the fighting in Bellight had resulted in the deaths of his wife and children in the skirmishes in Bellight, enough was enough.

And so, perched on the foredeck of the skiff, oblivious to his arguing colleagues in the cockpit, he raised the RPG he'd brought up from down below and with a cry of "FUCK THE GOVERNMENT" fired off a round at the hulking destroyer in front of them. Agast, he and his colleagues watched as the missile arched its way towards the destroyer before exploding midships in a moderate sized explosion.

His colleagues quickly rounded on him, and the verbal argument quickly turned to blows. Behind them, on the A.S Puniface, minor damage had been sustained from the blast but not critical or even severe. The captain of the skiff, realising that their mission had been compromised, quickly turned the boat around and full speed, crashing through the waves, set a course back the mainland.

The Apoxians weren't about to accept this sudden, and entirely unprovoked act of aggression and moments after the missile struck, a blast from a missile which just missed the boat sent the whole thing rocking. The captain furiously corrected course and carried on towards the shore, but the second missile fired from the Puniface didn't miss the target.

The boat exploded in a fireball, killing all on board instantly as they were thrown into the sea, the cache of explosives in the hold igniting on impact from the missile strike. The wreckage burnt fiercely on the surface and onboard the Puniface the realisation of what had happened set in. The war for Mareibat had begun. Captain Jones immediately turned to Master of Signals Mountwater;

"Get me a line back to command in Apox. This has changed things."

[The Archregimancy]

AVAILABLE NOW!!!

The Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk Calendar


Cover shot: Substitutes John Nestongo & Juan Pablo Bourtzes set up the pre-match corner flags

Where is your team this tournament?

Are they....

Tired of playing in a qualifying group with virtually no opportunities to interact with your opponents?

Weary of trying to guess the details of opponents with no official roster filed with the World Cup Committee?

Confident of comfortably topping the group thanks to another 4-1 thrashing of low-ranked opponents?


Or maybe they're..

Frustrated at being rooted near the bottom of the group despite an extensive international media campaign?

Concerned that other nations don't fully respect a lovingly crafted roster?

Curious about whether to varying a traditional approach to match reports might bring more luck?


Either way, worry no more!

The World Cup 83 Holy Empire Beach Hunk Calendar has just been released!

Preview Picture 1

Mr January - Goalkeeper Jorge Tzykandeles wearing his away kit


Buy one for your friends!

Buy one for your enemies!

Buy one for the lucky lady in your life!

Buy one for your hot gay man crush!


Preview Picture 2

Mr July - Right wing Barsanuphius Camatero wearing his home kit

Right now the Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk Calendar is only available via mail order in countries that can send post to the Dreamed Realm (umm, yes; we'll concede that's a problem); but if we get enough orders, or rather enough people trying to order, we'll try and make it more widely available via the official World Cup 83 sponsorship opportunities.

So what are you waiting for?

Order - or attempt to order - right now, and bring some imperial beefcake into what you've suddenly realised while
reading this ad is a sad, lonely, pathetic life that can only be made worth living by...

The Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk Calendar!
Available NOW!

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Change of Seasons, 4

Ailen Koirala entered the boardroom working hard to keep the apprehension she felt from showing itself on her face. She had been dreading this meeting and the debate it would inevitably become since the final whistle in Rudlit last weekend. With the Black-and-Reds having demolished Anollasia in the first half of qualifying's penultimate match, and with Damogran's largest arena needing much less personal attention than Rudlit had to be ready for the next home qualifying match, she was forced, grudgingly, to sit down with the board members to discuss thorny question of whether the SCFA was doing enough to further gender equality in football. As she watched the six members of the board file in and take their places around the table, she could already imagine the positions each would take.

First there was the board's eldest member, Viordar Cervkle, descendant of the foundational figure of Molvanian football of the same name, and as traditional a stick-in-the-mud as one could imagine. He stood opposed to anything that had the slightest hint of modernity or progress about it. Ailen had long since given up hope of ever seeing eye to eye with him on any issue more contentious than the weather, and had planned a discrete celebration for his retirement, which could not come soon enough.

Cervkle's ally at the table was Eldon Prandel. Less an out-and-out conservative than Cervkle, he was fanatically devoted to the idea that the business of football ought to be an entirely free market. Always the chief advocate for the rights of club owners, Prandel could be counted on to oppose the measure at hand on the basis of undue restrictions on club operations. His position was certainly reasonable in principle, but Ailen was not looking forward to Prandel's lectures on the topic, which could politely be described as thorough.

The staunchest support for the proposed policy came from Kornelie Tamela, who had herself been commissioner of the Brantid Women's Football League before leaping at the chance for greater influence on the future of the sport. Unsurprisingly, Tamela had been a driving force behind the recent influx of women to the rosters of Confederate clubs. While there had never been any de jure ban on women playing, club boards and owners were generally cut from the same cloth as Cervkle, and it took a fair amount of lobbying before Brantisvogan finally signed Fedrea Quazin two years ago. No doubt gratified by Quazin's success, and the flurry of signings since hers, Tamela was hardly the type to sit back, contented, and would always push toward true equality.

Loosely aligned with her, Gustloff Tunder was probably the most pleasant member of the board to interact with. An affable, cheerful man with a pragmatic view of the world, he had a tendency to support progressive causes, it seemed more out of a sense of inevitability than out of personal moral zeal. In his view, equal rights and equal opportunities were a worthy goal, and those working toward them would doubtless prevail. A tendency to balk at drastic action for those causes set him apart from Tamela, as he would much rather go along and get along, made those on both sides regard him as lukewarm. His moderating influence was a good one for the SCFA from Ailen's perspective.

The remaining two members, having less defined positions, would likely be the ones to decide the issue. Ailen would only be called upon to vote in the event of a tie. The first, Silja Tolmaren could be relied upon to vote in whatever she perceived to be the SCFA's best financial interests. With a background in marketing and public relations, it was not that she was a callous materialist. Rather, Tolmaren was so implacably focused on maintaining the financial health of the SCFA that she sometimes seemed to lose sight of the worthiness of causes to which its finances might be applied, unless she could be made to see some manner of return on investment.

Finally, there was Fidal Ellani. The ruin of a once magnificent athlete, Ellani had, in another life, been the longtime captain of Jaglan Royals and a great celebrity for his flamboyant personality and wild antics on and off the field. He had brought valuable publicity to the fledgling SCFA . . . and little else. More concerned with drugs, drinking, and partying with women less than half his age, he was quickly becoming a liability and embarrassment for the the association. Ailen had quietly spoken to more than one of the other board members about subtly arranging Ellani's resignation, his retirement, a change of position, anything to put a little distance between him and the SCFA's governance. Until such time, he was utterly unpredictable, equally likely to espouse a this initiative on the basis of some half-remembered anecdote about a promising female player he'd met as to reject it, spouting shockingly outdated and misogynist stereotypes that most sane Confederates had long since abandoned.

Gingerly taking her seat at the head of the table, Ailen took a brief moment to make eye contact with everyone else before drawing in a breath. "Thank you for coming. As you know, we are here to discuss the merits of the proposed initiative regarding linking revenue sharing to playing time for female players. We will reconvene in one week for a final discussion and a vote on the matter." She paused again, the deep breath before the plunge, "Ms. Tamela, as the author of the initiative, I'd like to invite you to open our proceedings with a description of the initiative's goals and methods."

3 hours later . . .

Exhausted, Ailen let the door to her office suite swing shut behind her. The board meeting had exceeded even her worst expectations in terms of length and contentiousness. I need - no, I deserve one of those Holy Empire Beach Hunk Calendars. She leaned back against the door and caught a deep breath. I don't care if we're playing them next. Just for once I need something frivolous for myself, the hell with postage costs.

Ivar, her assistant, had long since left the office, his desk immaculate, folders and papers for the next day carefully sorted and stacked. On the door to her office, however, something out of place. A small note, slightly askew as if to draw attention, hung with a couple hastily scribbled lines. Mail on your desk, cleared your schedule for tomorrow.

Well that's certainly ominous. Ailen pushed the door open, sighing at the effort after her long day. Her desk was empty, except for a large, thick envelope, perfectly centered. As she walked closer to the desk, the text in the corner came into focus, stopping her mid-stride. Unable to look away, she blindly made to hang her coat over the back of a chair and missed, oblivious as the coat fell to the floor. As if closer inspection might change what she had read, she rounded the desk and held the envelope before her. As she stared its top left corner, all thoughts of the three hour debate left her mind.

It read:
Sweyn Petrov, Chairman
Imperial Ministry of Sport
Vogsphere, Squornshelous

- - - - - - - - - - -

SRS Qualifying Schedule and Results:

MD1: Quakmybush 0-1 SRS
MD2: SRS 1-2 Siovanija & Teusland @ Radlov Arena (cap. 76,800), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD3: Lashnakia 0-1 SRS
MD4: Bye
MD5: SRS 1-0 New North Carolina @ Eichlen Stadium (cap. 37,500), Rudlit, East Flania, SRS
MD6: Anollasia 1-5 SRS
MD7: SRS v The Holy Empire @ Bridger Lane (cap. 72,406), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD8: SRS v Quakmybush @ Pheldagrif Stadium (cap 45,620), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD9: Siovanija & Teusland v SRS @ Olimpski-Stadion (cap. 60,000), Borograd, STL
MD10: SRS v Lashnakia @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD11: Bye
MD12: New North Carolina v SRS
MD13: SRS v Anollasia @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD14: The Holy Empire v SRS @ Imperial Hippodrome

[Krytenia]

Chat Schott, Get Banged
By Rami Niblick in Stanton

PERHAPS it was a bit too much to ask for some unexpected dropped points for HUElavia and Mercedini. Still, never mind; anyone who remembers World Cup LXXII knows Krytenia love a challenge. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in tonights game, where the Dragons will be looking for some belated revenge.

Forty years ago, Schottia came to this very ground, the beautiful Harbour Stadium in the heart of Stanton's docklands, and squeaked through a nine-goal thriller to top their qualifying group. It was a different time then; I should know, after all, being the man in the dugout for that defeat. This was a Krytenia of Ronnie van Rijn (of Avenida Victoria), Armando Ortega, and some unperson wearing number seven. The defeat, in what was Krytenia's nine hundred and ninety-ninth official international game, could have sent the side into freefall.

Luckily, though, the Dragons had the upside of a morale-boosting win against the combined "might" of Audioslavia and Starblaydia in a friendly to celebrate their one thousandth match before knocking out Nova Anglicana in the playoffs.

Nowadays, though, the situation is much more straightforward. Though Schottia are only one place behind Krytenia in the table, the four point gap may as well be a chasm, especially as the men in green only recorded their first group win in their last game. Krytenia need three points to keep up the chase at the top, but more than that they need to exorcise some demons. Onward!

[Timuria]

Under Qualified Chapter 6:

Bekir was shell shocked, sat in his office staring at the papers in front of him, the words had long since ceased to hold any meaning for him. His team was a pressure cooker on the verge of exploding. He was beside himself with rage at Saban, who was he to question the decisions he made after he had all but let the goals in. He understood his frustration and hoped privately that a game on the bench would allow him to clear his mind and allow Bekir to begin to troubleshoot where the issues were with his defence.

He was interrupted by an all to eager knock at his office door as he could hear Senol pleading, "Please sweetheart, he's probably not even in the mood to speak with anyo-"

Bekir called out, "Come in!"

The door swung open to reveal a very apologetic looking Senol and an extremely eager Maryan clutching a notebook to her chest. She strode in, without missing a beat. Bekir was startled by her obvious confidence, he wondered what she could possibly want. "Maryam, I'm sorry we couldn't get that win for you. But I hope you enjoyed the match all the same?"

Maryam nodded eagerly as Senol spoke softly, "Bekir I'm just heading out. Maryam, make sure you get home safely okay?"

She rolled her eyes, "Okay dad."

"And don't bother Bekir too much, he's already being way nicer than usual." He winked at Bekir, "See you tomorrow Bekir."

Bekir nodded at Senol as he left and turned his attention to the effervescent young woman clutching her notebook, "So you enjoyed that match?"

Then Maryam nodded, "I just had some notes for you." She placed the notebook on his desk and he saw a series of poorly organised scrawled notes that went across 5 pages.

"W-wow, you're definitely your father's daughter." He joked as he began to look through it, "So where do we begin?" He smiled at her, deciding that spending time here with someone interested in his work rather than return to his lonely, cold, clinical apartment.

"Well." She began "I think the problem is you have non-optimal players in some positions, but you can't really replace them, but what you can do is try to minimise what they have to..." The woman continued as Bekir nodded along, if only it wouldn't be seen as blatant nepotism he'd have hired her there and then, as the night wore on and he learned more about football than he'd ever expected to learn in his life.

***

Iskender looked at the screen they had in the electronics store across the road "30-50 feral hogs on the loose in Gulsansehir." The headline on the 24 hour rolling news channel said. The screen was enormous almost comparable to the stadium screens he saw abroad, he wondered what kind of person could possibly desire such a thing. Lost in his thoughts he heard that same clearing of a throat followed by a feminine voice, "Anything interesting on the TV?"

Iskender spun around and smile at the woman, who had clearly chosen to dress to impress, a black dress. He looked down at his own attempt at dressing for the restaurant they were meant to be going to, feeling slightly under dressed he stammered, "N-no nothing as interesting as you that is." He grinned at his own comment as he noticed Esin chuckle politely.

"Well at least you learned some decent flattery with the national team." She linked arms with him, "So what's the deal with this place? I've never heard of it."

"It's a fusion meze place, lots of miniature versions of foreign food." He explained as they walked the short distance to the restaurant, "But since it's meze we can hang out until closing. On me of course."

Esin shook her head, "Look you're a youth footballer, I'm a paid office intern, why don't we split it?"

He faked reluctance and sighed, "Okay. If you insist." The pair walked in and were guided to their table, as they ate, they laughed and joked. Esin adeptly managed to keep her alcohol consumption significantly lower than the her companion for the evening.

She cleared her throat, "So Bekir is kind of a weird choice for a football manager isn't he?" She slyly pressed a button on her phone to record audio as she placed it on the table. Iskender was too enthralled in his drink and food to notice.

"What do you mean? Everyone in this country would be a weird choice right?"

"Sure, but I mean specifically him. I mean I get that there are factory workers and so on in the Superleague who have become managers, but former ministers of agriculture? I mean how does that happen?"

Iskender shrugged, "I guess no one else wanted the job. I mean who would, you're in line to be a whipping boy in the qualifiers and you don't know how good the other teams are at a Baptism of Fire."

Esin bit her lip in frustration trying to find a way to get him to say anything that could be useful to her. "Sure, that makes sense. I bet there's all sorts of weird things happening. You know how politicians can be."

Iskender shrugged, "He's pretty normal, but I think he's a bit lonely. He never speaks about his family at all. I assume it's just a professionalism thing for him, you know."

Esin's eyes widened slightly, "Lonely you say? That must suck."

Iskender nodded, "I imagine it does." His sat up suddenly, "Oh did you get the ticket I sent you?"

Esin nodded, "Yeah, it's really sweet of you to give it to me and not your family."

"They've seen me play a thousand times, you get to see me start. Plus I can always sneak you into the team's hotel if you want?"

Esin pondered on this, while it would be nice to have that kind of access to the team and their possessions, it struck her as too great a risk. "Oh listen Mr. Starting Goalkeeper. Don't get into trouble. We can always do that sort of thing when you don't have games to worry about."

Iskender looked down at the remnants of his drink and nodded, "I suppose you're right. Plus I wouldn't want you to run into the team's security lady. She is very mean. You know she made fun of me at a-"

"What security lady?" Esin looked baffled, the team's staff was public knowledge, she had requested information on the structure of the national team's secondary staff, surely security personnel would be listed.

"Yeah she's like a redhead. Really liked Bekir I think. Probably best you don't get caught by her. She'd probably say something horrible to you."

Esin forced a slight chuckle, "Yeah I wouldn't want that."

After a short while the pair departed the restaurant, having said their goodbyes and gone their separate ways Esin texted her editor, "Got something. Will discuss when I'm back from Lavize, I'll send the recording ASAP." She began the short walk to the public transport stop, to take her home as she wondered if she might be able to figure out just why the manager of a sports team is a failed agriculture minister.