[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Cogoria]

Yes, and I owe it to drunk me to get this off the ground. The poor uncoordinated sod tried so very hard and only spelt one word wrong, on top of that he tried to make a breakfast for sober me. I also actually quite like the proposal, therefore I shall try and get it passed. FOR DRUNK COGORIA!!!!!

[Omarango]

Abolish Christmas
The world assembly
HORRIFIED that every time you open a Christmas present, a baby dies
DESPAIRING at all of the babies Christmas killed
REMEMBERING that Christmas is thus a capital crime
NOTICING that Christmas Day is also Issac Newton's birthday
OPPOSING religious freedom because science
Hereby:
1. ESTABLISHES the Protection Against Christmas Organisation (PACO)
2. MANDATES that PACO round up and execute all heathens found celebrating Christmas
3. DECLARES that member states shall force their children to sing praise to Issac Newton on the day that, in barbaric times, was Christmas
4. RENAMES the day Ismas, the mass of Issac
5. DEMANDS that PACO give out copies of Issac Newton's Principa, placing them in hotels, hospitals and the like, and that there will be be readings from them in mass laboratories, so that lost souls may find science

[Araraukar]

Issac Newton's

Who's that? I've only ever heard of Isaac Newton.

[The Atlae Isles]

spam spam spam
Category: Health
Area of Effect: International Aid
Strength: Significant

The World Assembly,

Confused with the uses of the two spams,

Satisfied at the health content of which one of the spams can fulfill,

Aware that food waste is a huge problem,

Hereby

Defines spam as a block of salty meat of deliciousness and nutritious health content,

Changes the unwarranted annoyances of what was otherwise known as spam to be called masp,

Clarifies that eating masp should not be attempted and should be attempted on spam or caek,

Prompts nations to distribute the wonder known now as spam to its people and other impoverished countries,

Proclaims that emailing masp to others is not allowed, unless it's from a legitimate company selling spam,

Converts the so-called "spam-filter" to the "masp-filter,"

Transcends the fourth wall to make this possible,

Hacks the World Assembly to change its rules so this resolution is legal,

Reminds everybody about the topic of emailing spam,

Declares emailing spam as emailing advertisements for spam or a picture of spam,

Builds the 5th wall out of spam,

Instructs that the 5th wall be used to transcend time to distribute spam only,

Constructs the 6th wall out of caek,

Asserts that the spelling is properly "caek," and not "cake,"

Shows that the 6th wall is only used for viewing, in which matter is various states of spam, and energy is caek.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Digital Network Defence
Category: International Security | Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

NOTING that British spelling is obviously superior to American spelling,

APPALLED that GA #378 incorrectly spells the word 'defence' as 'defense',

WISHING to correct this error without giving this otherwise decent resolution the axe,

HEREBY amends GA #378 to replace all instances of 'defense' with 'defence',

MANDATES that all resolutions use British spelling in future,

PROHIBITS resolutions from using colourful language (for the sake of the children, of course).

[The Atlae Isles]

Repeal "Digital network Defence"
Category: repeal
Resolution: 378.5

The World Assembly,

SEEING as the resolution in question is a blatant overreach of language prescriptivism,

WORRYING of the fate of the word "caek," a word not recognized by the author's region,

OUTRAGED by the attempt to amend an existing resolution,

HEREBY repeals "Digital Network Defence."

[States of Glory WA Office]

Colour-Coding Wardrobes Based on Profession
Category: Social Justice | Strength: Strong

The Wardrobe Assembly,

BELIEVING that colour-coding people's wardrobes based on their profession makes about as much sense as requiring member states to switch to cashless financial transactions,

NOTING that it is ambiguous whether any of the so-called "Ambassadors" sent to this august organisation are actually ambassadors by profession,

WISHING to quell this hazardous ambiguity once and for all,

HEREBY:

1. MANDATES that member states colour-code people's wardrobes based on their profession and according to these guidelines:
   
   
   1. Official ambassadors will have their wardrobes painted brown,
      
   2. People with actual jobs will have their wardrobes painted puce,
   
   
2. ESTABLISHES the Colour-Coding Committee of Anthropic Wardrobes (CCCAW) which shall inspect the personal and diplomatic wardrobes of all WA diplomats for any irregularities,
   
   
3. REQUIRES the CCCAW to treat diplomats who fail their inspections to a one-way first-class all-expenses-paid holiday to the Reflecting Pool.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Digital Network Defence
Category: International Security | Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

NOTING that British spelling is obviously superior to American spelling,

APPALLED that GA #378 incorrectly spells the word 'defence' as 'defense',

WISHING to correct this error without giving this otherwise decent resolution the axe,

HEREBY amends GA #378 to replace all instances of 'defense' with 'defence',

MANDATES that all resolutions use British spelling in future,

PROHIBITS resolutions from using colourful language (for the sake of the children, of course).

You should add something along the lines of "FURTHER NOTING that even USAmericans who attend football and basketball games often deploy signs consisting of the letter 'D' followed by a white picket FENCE, illustrating that even those who spell it 'defense' in everyday usage don't actually believe in that spelling..."

On the other hand, the Yank spelling is closer to the Latin root, so I guess it's a wash

[Imperium Anglorum]

The World Assembly,

Observing the decline and fall of English, started by the sacking of Oxford by Cromwell in AD 1676, exactly 1200 years after the fall of the Roman Empire,

Wishing, as the last remnant of English, to fight back the Autumnal horde which is poised to advance over the Bosphorus Channel and wipe away the last remnants of English,

Calling together the various peoples of former English to crusade once again to restore English, and seeing the beacons light up as English calls for aid,

Hereby:

Declares that:

1. the centre of some sulphurous rancour on colours, honours, and favourites will be tabled and immediately voted upon with unanimous acceptance of the spelling conventions for English used by the Cambridge University Press;
   
   
2. there is only one name for football, that all references to association football will be 'football', and that all sports which are not association football and are colloquially named 'football' at the time of this resolution will not be referred to as football,
   
   
3. the front compartment of a car is a bonnet (and not an item of clothing); the back compartment is a boot (and not the main support of a tree); such a car when driving down a motorway with a dividing strip, shall be termed as driving down a dual carriageway;
   
   
4. people live in flats and go on holiday, where they get bills that may as well be a blank cheque for their bank accounts;
   
   
5. one has learnt and is therefore learned, something done in a place called a school, of which there are three types, where public schools are operated for the public, government schools are run by the government, and private schools are run for profit; and with other reforms one should have learnt by the First Form, thereby,

Restores English (and all the highlighted territories of the Roman Empire to Byzantine control).

[Araraukar]

the front compartment of a car is a bonnet (and not an item of clothing)

What would you call bonnets then?

[The Atlae Isles]

(and all the highlighted territories of the Roman Empire to Byzantine control).

You don't include North Africa, Germania, Britannia, Middle East, or Crimea. What is with that?

EDIT: Also, it could be said that a trunk is both the back of the car and the support of the tree. The way you phrase it, it says, "the back end of a car is not the support of the tree," which implies the meaning of trunk here can be used.

[Imperium Anglorum]

You don't include North Africa, Germania, Britannia, Middle East, or Crimea. What is with that?

Because those are the provinces you need to Restore the Roman Empire in EU4.

[West Malikay]

Hey guys, I decided to make my second joke proposal. This one's VERY funny.

(Image)

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On Stuff
A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency

Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Proposed By: Sensorland

Description: The World Assembly,

OVERLOOKING the fact that some stuff is good;

NOTICING stuff that is bad

REALIZING something must be done about bad stuff;

Hereby:

DEFINES:
Stuff as things,

Things as stuff,

Bad as not good,

and Good as not bad;

FURTHER DEFINES:
Oompa-Loompas as cocoa-loving creatures who work at Willy Wonka's factory,

This proposal as being redundant;

MANDATES

(i). That member NationStates ban all stuff.
(ii). That member NationStates impose a death penalty on anyone caught in possession of, using, or owning stuff,
(iii). That member NationStates break into Willy Wonka's factory and free all the Oompa-Loompas;

CREATES

The International Oompa-Loompa Stuff Destroying Organization (IOSDO);

REQUIRES The IOSDO to:

(i). Only hire Oompa-Loompas.
(ii). Pay the Oompa-Loompas in Cacao Beans.
(iii). Build lots of Bombs and Nukes to destroy stuff.
(iv). Also use these bombs and nukes to destroy things;

DECLARES that stuff is now illegal within all WA NationStates.

Hope you liked it!

My God... This- this is genius! H-how didn't I think of this?! Eliminating stuff from the WA is a perfect plan! But why stop there? Why not wipe out the stuff from all or NS? Nuke 'em all!
Now your Oompa-Loompa ideas, I am so grateful that there are people like you to support banning the injustice brought among them! Its horrible!
Stuff has been getting in my way forEVER! Nuking them would for sure deal with this. If you need me or my efforts in helping you in your mission to free them, West Malikay and all of its people promise everything in helping them.

(Im sorry I went a little overboard with this, but it was funny, ya gotta admit. )

[States of Glory WA Office]

Convention Against Socialism
Category: Red | Strength: Scare

The capitalist, freedom-loving and democratic World Assembly,

NOTING that socialism, Communism and Marxism are the roots of all evil,

BELIEVING that it is no coincidence that the colour red is associated with both the Devil and with socialism,

DECRYING socialism as anti-capitalist, anti-freedom and anti-democratic,

DECLARING all members of counterculture to be dirty commies,

DECLARING anyone who doesn't fully support this proposal to be a dirty commie,

DECLARING that since both socialism and drugs are evil, they must both be linked,

DECLARING that several socialist leaders, including but not limited to Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Castro, have terrible tastes in facial hair,

HEREBY:

1. Defines socialism as the indecent combination of hippie shirts, cheap drugs and the esoteric teachings of weird bearded men,
   
   
2. Tasks the WA Committee of Un-Capitalist Activities with the duty of identifying socialism, its practitioners and their activities,
   
   
3. Bans socialism as a practice.

All credit to Unibot III for the active clauses.

[Tinfect]

DECLARING that several socialist leaders, including but not limited to Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Castro, have terrible tastes in facial hair,

Now that's just going too far; I cannot, in good conscience, support this while that clause remains!

[Overthinkers]

The Bearded Assembly Act
Category: Facial Hair | Strength: Universal

The World Assembly,

NOTING that despite its being a force for good in the world, the World Assembly is ignored by the vast majority of nations,

THEORIZING that this is due to a lack of interest,

KNOWING that beards, by their very nature, make anything more awesome,

WONDERING why these always start with all-caps,

RETURNING to the subject of the proposal,

HERBY:

I. DEFINES, for the purpose of this resolution, "beard" as facial hair grown on the lower part of the face.

II. REQUIRES:
A. All ambassadors to the World Assembly that are physically able to grow a beard to do so.
A. All ambassadors to the World Assembly that are not physically able to grow a beard to wear a false beard.

III. MANDATES that these beards, real or false, shall be plainly visible and worn at all times.

IV. CREATES the World Assembly Beard Enforcement and Regulation Department (BEARD), and authorizes it to lay down further regulations regarding the facial hair of ambassadors.

V. CLARIFIES that this resolution applies to all sexes and species that member nations may choose to represent them.

VI. FURTHER CLARIFIES that this resolution is not to be construed to regulate moustaches.

OOC: Had I tried harder, I could probably have made a corny acronym for the title as well, but especially as I experienced a lengthy interruption while writing this, I don't want to bother right now.

[States of Glory WA Office]

HERBY

Oh, for crying out loud. He has enough to do; can't we leave the poor guy alone for once?

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

The right to ROCK
Category: ROCK

Strength: ALL OF EXISTENCE

Acknowledging the basic sapient right to ROCK,
Appalled that certain groups would deny sapient beings the right to ROCK,
Worried that such groups could grow in power and attempt to further their offenses against the omniversal gods of ROCK,
Respecting everyone's right to their own opinion on ROCK, yet
Appalled that some sapient beings use that right as an excuse to hypocritically deny others the right to ROCK,

This resolution hereby:

Officially Affirms that the right to ROCK is an inalienable basic right of sapient beings,
Prohibits national legislation that would infringe upon one's right to ROCK,
AND
Establishes the omniversal ROCK 'N' ROLL Hall of Fame, which has the responsibility of archiving all of ROCK

Hypothetical question: If this were to be cleaned up and made rules compliant, could this be legally submitted to the General Assembly?

[Imperium Anglorum]

If this were to be cleaned up and made rules compliant, could this be legally submitted to the General Assembly?

Human rights or Education: Creativity. Would have to explain why you think having a rock ought be a human right.

[Oerstland]

Repealing the right to repeal
Category: Removing freedoms | Strength: Infinite | Proposed by: ihatethewa2008

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ACKNOWLEDGING the fact that repealing things is fun.

CONCERNED that sometimes well-written laws are repealed and the time spent writing them is thus wasted.

CONVINCED that removing the ability to repeal laws will make the WA a better place.

CONCERNED this clause has alot of words beginning with the letter c.

HEREBY REPEALS your ability to repeal stuff.

please don't crucify me

[Araraukar]

*snip*

*throws rocks of an increasing size at the proposal*

[Tinfect]

please don't crucify me

I won't; but I will take a page out of my Grandmother's book. Go outside to the willow tree, find yourself a nice strong switch, bring it to me, and stand still.

Disclaimer: My Grandmother didn't actually hit them with the willow switches.

[Unnamedland]

(Image)(Image)

GENERAL ASSEMBLY RESOLUTION

Ban All WA Resolutions

A resolution to restrict political freedoms in the interest of law and order.

Category: Political Stability | Strength: Strong | Proposed by: Unnamedland

DESCRIPTION:

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY,

Noting that WA resolutions can be funny, interesting, and sometimes even useful,

Also noting,however, that WA resolutions have caused many problems before,

Recognizing that WA resolutions have created large amounts of debate, which leads to political instability and thoughtcrime,

Aware of the fact that WA resolutions can easily be repealed,

Concerned that the occasional usefulness of WA resolutions may cause laziness,

Aware of the fact that laziness is detrimental to the nations and people of the world,

Recognizing that kittens are cute,

Also recognizing that the above clause is completely random,

Declaring that all WA nations would spend their time better if they petted cute kittens instead of writing proposals,

Recognizing that clause vii is no longer so random,

Understanding that WA resolutions have created a swamp that obviously needs to be drained,

Dismayed that there are no current resolutions promoting the petting of kittens,

Realizing that all national governments have limited amounts of time,

Concerned that WA bureaucrats are losing their sense of humor,

Recognizing that WA joke proposals are not doing enough to prevent this,

Understanding that the only way to restore a sense of humor to bureaucrats is to ban WA resolutions,

Defining:
i. Political instability as anything that has to do with Trump,

ii. Thoughtcrime as anything that violates the teaching of Big Sister and/or is detrimental to the party and/or the war effort against Eurasia and/or Eastasia,

iii. Laziness as the state of not doing anything,

iv. Kittens as the fluffiest possible form of Felis Catus,

v. Bureaucrats as people that are boring,

vi. Recursion as the state of being recursive,

vii. Recursive as having recursion,

Understanding that the second definition in the previous clause required a large amount of and/or's,

Realizing that passing this resolution would create a paradox, as this itself is a WA resolution,

However noting that this paradox could easily be solved.

Because of the above reasons, the World Assembly Hereby Mandates

i. the creation of the World Assembly Philosophical Panel to resolve this paradox,

ii. the ban of all WA resolutions.

iii. the creation of international kitten petting days according to the formula of [total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/(27683-27681-2+77/11-7)+[leap days, if applicable]*1,

iv. the recognition of lack of a sense of humor as a disease, which can be cured by joke transplants,

v. the creation of an International WA Bureaucrat Rehabilitation Commitee to help bureaucrats with PTSD re-adjust to normal life,

vi. The Creation of the International And/Or Labor Union to negotiate fair wages and to prevent overworking for the phrase and/or.

[Skylus]

The Banning of Cars

To Nations that have Cars

Noting that cars cause pollution and kill lots and lots of people each day

Wishing to abolish cars and make cars ILLEGAL.

Legal modes of transportation will be walking or riding horses

(First time ever writing any kind of NS proposal)

[States of Glory WA Office]

*snip*

*throws rocks of an increasing size at the proposal*

That won't do any good. Everyone knows that paper covers rock.

[total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/(27683-27681+2+77/11-7)+[leap days, if applicable]*1,

To simplify this: [total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/4+[leap days, if applicable].