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[DRAFT] “(Artificial) Land Beyond the Seas”

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Baikanor
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Founded: Nov 16, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[DRAFT] “(Artificial) Land Beyond the Seas”

Postby Baikanor » Sat Feb 15, 2020 1:57 pm

Headline: “(Artificial) Land Beyond the Seas”


Description: A long-forgotten anti-air platform constructed by your predecessor was recently commandeered by pirates, transformed into a radio station and declared an independent country. They’ve even begun selling novelty passports and titles of nobility under the name “Oceanicplace”. Blackacre, a nation historically opposed to @@NAME@@, has already recognized the fledgling nation’s sovereignty.


Option 1: “I say we sink that rusted radio repository where it stands!” shouts a red-faced admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@, commander of the @@DEMONYM@@ navy, kicking over a child’s sandcastle. “This is clearly a scheme by those Blackacre dogs so they can undermine our beautiful nation’s national security! To war!”

Effect Line 1: Artificial landmasses close to @@NAME@@ are torpedoed to the point of non-existence

Option 2: “Well hear me out!” asserts Prince @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ of Oceanicplace, motoring to the shore in a half-broken fishing trawler. “We aren’t violating your nation’s borders in any way! This platform was built in international waters, claimed by nobody! We even have a constitution written! We’d appreciate it greatly if you just took the time to recognize us and give us unrestricted access to your country’s borders!” He says as he knocks over a box labelled ‘Food for orphans’, spilling dozens of rifles into the water.

Effect Line 2: many “orphans” are receiving “food” through @@DEMONYM@@ waters
Effect Line 2: so-called 'war orphans' receive shipments of high-end weapons systems through @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters

Option 3: “Well I don’t know about all that!” states your minister of foreign affairs, appearing from the waves out of nowhere. “But the laws these men are citing to declare their independence haven’t been used for a couple centuries! They’re clearly no longer valid. That being said, we don’t have to blow them up and possibly drag ourselves into a war with Blackacre!”

Effect Line 3: the waves are ruled by no man, ship or anti-air platform.

Option 4: “Novelty titles of nobility thou sayest?” shouts @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, renaissance-fair enthusiast, as he begins to construct a trebuchet out of driftwood and seaweed. “Thy would quite enjoy occupying thineself as a gallant knight of the realm! Prithee install this splendid system!”

Effect Line 4: knights are now known to wear a t-shirt and jeans
Last edited by Baikanor on Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Notty Swaras
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Founded: Sep 29, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Notty Swaras » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:34 pm

I think it looks good.

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:55 pm

Why would name actually about an abandoned radio tower? Are there any consequences to name not caring?
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Baikanor
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Founded: Nov 16, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Baikanor » Sat Feb 15, 2020 3:38 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Why would name actually about an abandoned radio tower? Are there any consequences to name not caring?

Hi, the whole issue was based on the real life micro nation of “Sealand”. It began as a pirate radio station too until the UK tried to evict them, so they declared their independence and sovereignty as a country. I just wanted to add a little less-than-subtle reference to the actual name with that :)

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Feb 15, 2020 4:20 pm

Baikanor wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Why would name actually about an abandoned radio tower? Are there any consequences to name not caring?

Hi, the whole issue was based on the real life micro nation of “Sealand”. It began as a pirate radio station too until the UK tried to evict them, so they declared their independence and sovereignty as a country. I just wanted to add a little less-than-subtle reference to the actual name with that :)

Yea yea, I got that
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Authoritaria-Imperia
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Founded: Nov 06, 2019
Anarchy

Postby Authoritaria-Imperia » Sat Feb 15, 2020 10:35 pm

Hmmm. Interesting idea. :)

One thing: option 4 seems like it could be stitched onto the end of pretty much any issue ever written. It doesn't seem to have any connection to the issue at hand, so I'd recommend dropping it entirely, unless it can be linked somehow to the rest of the issue.
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Sierra Lyricalia
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Sierra Lyricalia » Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:28 am

Authoritaria-Imperia wrote:Hmmm. Interesting idea. :)

One thing: option 4 seems like it could be stitched onto the end of pretty much any issue ever written. It doesn't seem to have any connection to the issue at hand, so I'd recommend dropping it entirely, unless it can be linked somehow to the rest of the issue.


IRL (iirc) Sealand does in fact (or did at one point) sell non-heritable titles of nobility via internet donation. This would be good fodder for a separate issue in which people with aristocratic titles receive complimentary services or other privileges not available to "common" folk, even in allegedly democratic nations (say, close allies of a monarchy, or private companies deciding to cater more to upper class movers and shakers in hope of increased revenue).

To the OP: effect #2 might be both clearer and funnier if the weapons shipments are made more explicit, say:

"so-called 'war orphans' receive shipments of high-end weapons systems through @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters"
Last edited by Sierra Lyricalia on Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Baikanor
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Founded: Nov 16, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Baikanor » Sun Feb 16, 2020 11:18 am

Sierra Lyricalia wrote:
Authoritaria-Imperia wrote:Hmmm. Interesting idea. :)

One thing: option 4 seems like it could be stitched onto the end of pretty much any issue ever written. It doesn't seem to have any connection to the issue at hand, so I'd recommend dropping it entirely, unless it can be linked somehow to the rest of the issue.


IRL (iirc) Sealand does in fact (or did at one point) sell non-heritable titles of nobility via internet donation. This would be good fodder for a separate issue in which people with aristocratic titles receive complimentary services or other privileges not available to "common" folk, even in allegedly democratic nations (say, close allies of a monarchy, or private companies deciding to cater more to upper class movers and shakers in hope of increased revenue).

To the OP: effect #2 might be both clearer and funnier if the weapons shipments are made more explicit, say:

"so-called 'war orphans' receive shipments of high-end weapons systems through @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters"

Oooooo yeah, I like that. I was trying to be kinda subtle with it but the way you put it there makes it far better. Would you be opposed to me just copy / pasting your effect line or do you want me to make my own based on that? Thanks man :)

But yeah, Sealand still sells them. I myself am a knight which is what inspired me to create this in the first place

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Sierra Lyricalia
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Founded: Nov 29, 2008
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Sierra Lyricalia » Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:32 pm

Please feel free to use any of my suggestions verbatim. I wouldn't offer the wording if I didn't want people using it. :p
Principal-Agent, Anarchy; Squadron Admiral, The Red Fleet
The Semi-Honorable Leonid Berkman Pavonis
Author: 354 GA / Issues 436, 451, 724
Ambassador Pro Tem
Tech Level: Complicated (or not: 7/0/6 i.e. 12) / RP Details
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Australian rePublic
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Feb 16, 2020 4:11 pm

Baikanor wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Why would name actually about an abandoned radio tower? Are there any consequences to name not caring?

Hi, the whole issue was based on the real life micro nation of “Sealand”. It began as a pirate radio station too until the UK tried to evict them, so they declared their independence and sovereignty as a country. I just wanted to add a little less-than-subtle reference to the actual name with that :)

I still don't see why name would care
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Baggieland
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Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Baggieland » Mon Feb 17, 2020 5:19 am

Baikanor wrote:But yeah, Sealand still sells them. I myself am a knight which is what inspired me to create this in the first place

I just checked that out: 100 quid to become a Sealand Knight and you may be called upon to defend them should they ever get attacked!
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The Grim Reaper
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby The Grim Reaper » Mon Feb 17, 2020 5:33 am

I like the issue, but in my opinion it overlaps with issue #466.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&start=25#466

Overlaps: tiny micronation claims to have seceded, and asserts its sovereignty (in your case through foreign recognition; in 466 by arresting a mailman). Options are a military intervention to subdue the micronation (option 1 in each); to tacitly allow them to exist (your option 3, 466's option 2), and to just accept the secession (your option 2, 466's option 4). The odd option out is for your nation to just accept their system of nobility (your 4), in your issue, and 466's player to allow autonomous regions (its 3).

I think it's probably too much overlap, in my opinion, which is a shame because it's well-written.
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Baikanor
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Baikanor » Mon Feb 17, 2020 3:23 pm

The Grim Reaper wrote:I like the issue, but in my opinion it overlaps with issue #466.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&start=25#466

Overlaps: tiny micronation claims to have seceded, and asserts its sovereignty (in your case through foreign recognition; in 466 by arresting a mailman). Options are a military intervention to subdue the micronation (option 1 in each); to tacitly allow them to exist (your option 3, 466's option 2), and to just accept the secession (your option 2, 466's option 4). The odd option out is for your nation to just accept their system of nobility (your 4), in your issue, and 466's player to allow autonomous regions (its 3).

I think it's probably too much overlap, in my opinion, which is a shame because it's well-written.

Damn, that's unfortunate :( do you think if I tried submitting it they'd possibly let it slide or nah
I appreciate you pointing this out and for the kind words though. Cheers, man


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