Description: A long-forgotten anti-air platform constructed by your predecessor was recently commandeered by pirates, transformed into a radio station and declared an independent country. They’ve even begun selling novelty passports and titles of nobility under the name “Oceanicplace”. Blackacre, a nation historically opposed to @@NAME@@, has already recognized the fledgling nation’s sovereignty.
Option 1: “I say we sink that rusted radio repository where it stands!” shouts a red-faced admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@, commander of the @@DEMONYM@@ navy, kicking over a child’s sandcastle. “This is clearly a scheme by those Blackacre dogs so they can undermine our beautiful nation’s national security! To war!”
Effect Line 1: Artificial landmasses close to @@NAME@@ are torpedoed to the point of non-existence
Option 2: “Well hear me out!” asserts Prince @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ of Oceanicplace, motoring to the shore in a half-broken fishing trawler. “We aren’t violating your nation’s borders in any way! This platform was built in international waters, claimed by nobody! We even have a constitution written! We’d appreciate it greatly if you just took the time to recognize us and give us unrestricted access to your country’s borders!” He says as he knocks over a box labelled ‘Food for orphans’, spilling dozens of rifles into the water.
Effect Line 2: so-called 'war orphans' receive shipments of high-end weapons systems through @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ waters
Option 3: “Well I don’t know about all that!” states your minister of foreign affairs, appearing from the waves out of nowhere. “But the laws these men are citing to declare their independence haven’t been used for a couple centuries! They’re clearly no longer valid. That being said, we don’t have to blow them up and possibly drag ourselves into a war with Blackacre!”
Effect Line 3: the waves are ruled by no man, ship or anti-air platform.
Option 4: “Novelty titles of nobility thou sayest?” shouts @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, renaissance-fair enthusiast, as he begins to construct a trebuchet out of driftwood and seaweed. “Thy would quite enjoy occupying thineself as a gallant knight of the realm! Prithee install this splendid system!”
Effect Line 4: knights are now known to wear a t-shirt and jeans