Year 1 - Volume 1
Brownshirted
By: United Gordonopia - Bastard Mod alter-ego "Untersturmführer Gordonopia"
16:10 <Jenreich> Ein Volk! Ein Reich! Ein Roleplay!
16:10 <UG> Heil Jenreich! Purify the roleplay!
16:11 <Jenreich> Now go, instruments of the site! Go and purify our great roleplay so that we may
return to the glory of old!
16:12 *** UG quit (Signed off)
A new day is dawning on International Incidents forum. Today, our great Führer Jenreich has succeeded in creating the II Mentors, the moderators of roleplay. With our new brown names, I and my comrades will bring purity to the chaotic roleplay of this site by whatever means necessary.
As I enter the forum I am pleased to see that the familiar green circle of the II forum is now a light blue, signifying that I have access to Mentor Party Headquarters. After checking the headquarters for any announcements, I quickly head to the forum where my work is waiting. Almost immediately, I find a post entitled "Anyone want war" that nearly causes me to enter into a screaming rage; thankfully, my training has taught me that we must keep an appearance of patience so that the luser masses do not reject us on the spot.
Anglica wrote:Sup, im new hear. Any1 wanna do a war?
Straightening my party armband, I set to work writing a telegram.
To our newest Luser, the Kingdom of Anglica,
Have you not heard of writing conventions? Does the word 'grammar' mean nothing to you? Do you know how to articulate a full sentence without resorting to text-messaging language, which we know as Newfag Speak on this glorious site?
Were it not for the fact that you refrained from resorting to Communism as your choice of government, unlike so many of your brethren, I would have had you sent to the camps for moderation deletion immediately. However, you are fortunate that I have taken mercy on you. In fact, I have chosen to to a roleplay with you.
Within the hour, I shall have the opening post for this roleplay up. It shall revolve around the magnificent rise of the Fascist Party in your nation, which will propel your inferior people to a place among the respected nations of the NS World.
In order for you to participate, however, you will need to remember the site's new rules for roleplaying, lest I decide to change my mind and have you carted away. Remember, this is the only method of roleplaying accepted on this site.
1 - All posts must be written with proper grammar and spell-checked using a word processor.
2 - No post may have a word count below 750. Out of Character notes to not count towards this total.
3 - All detail in a scene must be elaborated upon so that any well-educated reader is able to visualize the scene correctly.
4 - Any material deemed to be objectionable by either a Forum Moderator or an International Incidents Mentor will be deleted on the spot and will result in appropriate punishment.
With your cooperation, we can purify the roleplaying if NationStates
Satisfied with my short message, I returned to my patrol. After voicing approval of the 14th edition of the Mandatory International Incidents Grammar and Syntax Guide, I found that I had a telegram in my inbox.
The Kingdom of Anglica (seconds ago)
That would be great! I can't wait to get some training from an experienced player like you. Whatever you need me to do, I'm willing to play along.
From,
Anglica
P.S. I used spell check
Damn emoticons; the scourge of true roleplayers everywhere. No matter, those are beaten out of lusers fairly easily. I am intrigued, however, by this new luser's enthusiasm. He seems almost happy to be brought into the fold. Someday, he may be useful.
After a quick 45 minute grind, I have a post complete. I quickly check my flawless spelling, just to be sure, before running it through word count; 1,567 total. Adequate.
I copy and paste my work into the forum before resuming my patrol once again. A few communist nations crushed under my jackboot here, a 'Democratic Socialist' blacklisted there, and then I return to Headquarters. Now, it's only a matter of waiting for this Anglica to report for the roleplay as I remove the lint from my carefully ironed uniform. Another day, another luser brought into the party.
~Untersturmführer Gordonopia
~Goosestepping Purifier of the Roleplaying Forums
~Bastard II Mentor... from Hell
DISCLAIMER: All names and personalities in this post are intended for parody and the content of it should not be taken literally. This thread is intended to be a place for myself and my fellow mentors to get a bit creative by writing alter egos all while letting frustrations out harmlessly through humor. If you have a Basterd Luser post or something such as that, please give it its own thread.