A Guide to Legalese National Team chants
“The Damhan Song”
Created in honor of our star midfielder, Cyrus Damhan, it is a bit wordy, but the words will come. If you can’t get them, the refrain is always acceptable. Set to this tune.
He leads the team (Damhan! Damhan!)
And wins the ball (Damhan! Damhan!)
He’ll score the goal and play it on,
Against him, your hope is gone!
If you let him through, he’ll draw first blood,
And the score will show that your hope is gone,
He’ll win the ball and play it on,
That’s why we sing, Damhan, Damhan!
He leads the team (Damhan! Damhan!)
And wins the ball (Damhan! Damhan!)
He’ll score the goal and play it on,
Against him, your hope is gone!
For most in the Civil Service, their dream was working in Upton Square, the effective seat of the government in Legalese City. To be in Upton Square meant to be so close to the top, to be a part of the Office of the Director-General, the leader and executor of the government in action. Sure, the High Court, situated nearby in Iudica, was the symbolic source of power, the nine men and women who sat in judgement of the laws and rights of all Legalites, but it seemed a lonely life. In fact, if you’d asked a civil servant the last time they’d seen a justice of the High Court, they’d likely fall silent, wracking their brains for an answer. And then they just might start to think.
Fortunately, nobody seems to ask them those sorts of questions, but instead, questions like “Why do you want to be in Upton Square?” and “Did you catch the game last night? Damhan’s killing it out there, isn’t he?”
Linus, on the other hand, didn’t want any of that. When he was seventeen years old, he served an internship with the city government, helped elect his local alderman, spent his free time at universityl getting his friends elected to the student assembly, and through it all, learned one thing.
“There’s nothing wrong with puppets, of course. Look at Dermot the Turtle. The guy’s famous - kids all over Legalese love him! But when you think about it, who would you rather be: the fabric Turtle, or the guy pulling the strings?”
This was usually followed by a laugh, one that edged between self-amusement and hints of darkness, masked by a grin.
Gabe noticed the trademark grin, and tried to let it pass. He always hated these meetings, even if it was good to see an old friend.
“Always good to get a chance to see you, Line out” he said to his college mate.
Linus laughed, recalling a night whose details were relayed to him second-hand. “Likewise, Gabe. You should try to come out here more often.”
Gabe looked around the facility. Linus had taken possession of an old office building outside of the Capital - so far out, in fact, that one had to transverse The Loop, a circumferential highway surrounding Legalese City, to get to it.
“I would if you didn’t put your office out in the boonies. I can’t believe they let you so far away from Upton Square.”
Linus grinned. “Well, you make the right moves, and they’ll let you work from anywhere. Besides, it’s better for the OSP - keeps us out of the normal day-to-day work, and lets us work on the fun stuff, which is why I’m expecting you called?”
Gabe’s face turned serious. “That’s right. As you know, Linus, we started our climb to legitmacy about a decade ago. For a few years, it went well. Made the playoffs once, then on to the World Cup twice, and of course there was the Cup of Harmony win from three years ago. But the problem is the direction we keep going, and what it costs us.”
“We don’t have much of a talent pool. Stan was keeper for so long, because we had nobody playing enough to earmark for development. We’ve got this Damhan kid now, but Cyrus was just a product of his own skill and determination, along with a little luck in finding him. Hell, nobody scouted the islands when I started a manager.”
Linus nodded. “It sounds like you need a developmental program.”
Gabe nodded back. “Exactly. We need a league where someone other than the few in our pool are paid enough to focus on the game, giving us options. If we don’t do it, we’ll be sending our folks to places like Vilitia, Eura, and who knows where else. That’s not a bad thing - I’m glad Xavier’s taking on the challenge of the Vilitian Leagues, even if he’ll only be in Declasse - but it makes it hard to keep tabs on our players, and limits the local pool.”
“And with these nice, new stadiums that you’re helping to get built”, Gabe added, “We’ll need something to play in them. A national league would be just the thing.”
Linus nodded. “Well said. But you wouldn’t be here telling me this unless there’s a problem. Let me guess: funding?”
“Yes. Club owners are resistant to putting a lot of units out on players, not knowing if they’ll make it back in gate receipts. They need some form of reassurance and backing, until they can get sponsorships and interest. And let me tell you, if we can get fans even half as passionate as the ones Rob showed me at the bar yesterday, we’ll generate interest quickly enough.”
